#i do actually like learning- it’s why i keep going back for degrees and shit

[blu3-ja3]

Did I give O'Connor a phobia that I have... Yes do I care, no! Having perfect characters is so boring! I'm currently cleaning out my drafts I promise I'll start writing my story soon!

O'Connor has never liked riding in cars, very specifically cars. She can handle being on a boat going at top speed, she can handle being in a helicopter making evasion maneuvers, hell shes loved the few times she's driven a motorcycle or ATV. But for whatever reason she hates being in cars, a small part of her knows it is trauma from being in the car crash that killed her mother and crippled her father. But even before the accident she hated being in those vehicles.

Price learned early on into his deployment with Sergeant O'Connor not to put her behind the wheel or near the front. He sees how she clams up, trying her best not to shake like a leaf. She'll never admit it nor argue against driving when told too. Hell there's been a few times where her twitchiness behind the wheel has saved his and his team's asses. That doesn't mean he won't do his damnedest to keep her in the back away from the windows.

Ghost notices his new Captain is a bit nervous, it radiates off her in waves. She was fine up until they had to get into the dingy little pickup, he noticed her hesitation to drive like a deer ready to run at the faintest sound. She only calmed a little when Ghost got into the driver's seat, but her leg is bouncing so hard she might punch a hole through the rusty bottom of the truck. And when he asked if something was wrong, she was short and clipped. The polar opposite of how she interacted with him this entire mission, it's their first time on the field together. It's just them and yet she's never once steamed rolled over him like all his other captains have... Wel not Price but everyone else. No instead she asked for his opinion on every major decision and she actually listens to his suggestions adding to them or just going with them. He's worried but it soon disappears as they reach their stop, he watches her basically bolt out of the truck as soon as it stops. And only then does it dawn on him why the sudden change and he relaxes again.

Gaz is an excellent driver, he knows this, it's a point of pride for him. So he's a bit miffed when he notices the doctor gripping the oh-shit handle for dear life as he speeds through snowy hills of middle of nowhere Canada. He's used to seeing people smiling and enjoying themselves when he drives like this. There's no danger chasing after to warrant this kind of stress from O'Connor but it's there. He slows a bit much to the disappointment of himself and Roach who sat in the back. He watches as O'Connor calms a bit from the corner of his eye and he feels a little hurt. It isn't until he watches her when someone else is driving does it click, it's not just him... Though his speed didn't seem to help.

Roach finds it very odd that at every chance she gets O'Connor sits in the back seats, even though she would be far more comfortable in the front. It baffles him every time she gives the seat to someone else including himself but he's never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. It isn't until Soap and Gaz spell it out to him does he notice the panic she holds in her body even in the back seats. He takes it upon himself to distract the doctor while in transit. He's had varying degrees of success but he's noticed a pattern. When O'Connor can't see the road she's calmer, prefers to not have a window to see outside. He does his best to help her on the more stressful drives, it's only fair she's helped him with a million of his own fears.

Soap is a smart man, he's also observant, despite what people think. So he picks up on O'Connor's tension when she's riding with himself, Ghost, Alejandro, and Rudy through Las Almas. At first he thought it was due to being in a car full of men but he quickly wrote that off as soon as they met the rest of Alejandro's team. Her tension was slow to creep in when they're driving and it's only when they're in the cars. He thought it was interesting how well she handled everything else but as soon as they started driving it was tension. He also knows she calms a bit when they speak gaelic, much to the chagrin of their traveling companions. But if it helped his friend calm down then he'll deal with the confused stares.

The boys all agree behind O'Connor's back that if given the option they won't drive, if they have to she gets the middle seat and either Roach or Soap are to sit next to her. Price feels a bit of fatherly pride when they bring it up to him, knowing they're willing to help O'Connor the best they can without being told outright to do so.

[excelsior9173]

spent my morning on the phone with an advisor and i think i have my educational future sorted out a bit!

i’m going back to school in january! yay! i need 3 classes and then i can apply to the nursing college 😊 after a four year bachelor’s of science in nursing, i am planning on taking an advanced diploma in psychiatric nursing!

when all is said and done i can challenge my exams to be licensed as a registered nurse and a registered psychiatric nurse.

exciting things are in the works in exieland! never ever thought i’d be a nurse but honestly it’s been calling to me more and more. i was mostly starting down this path so that i would have a (somewhat) reliable career, but i truly think i will enjoy it

[neverendingford]

.

[tobiasdrake]

Fun Fact: Even in space, ACAB.

Let's talk about Jaco: The Galactic Patrolman, a somewhat more obscure manga compared to Dragon Ball that Akira Toriyama wrote in its setting.

For the most part, this is a short and fairly simple story. It's primarily a character drama, with the developing relationship between Jaco and the scientist Omori as its central focus.

The manga is surprisingly vague about its connections to Dragon Ball for nearly all of its length, until its final chapter. Jaco is here on Earth to thwart some vague threat sent to the planet from a world of hostile aliens. It's only at the end of the manga that we learn he's talking about Goku.

Galactic Patrol detected an Attack Ball leaving Planet Vegeta and making its way to Earth, so they sent Jaco to... assess the situation and then make a decision about whether or not to do anything.

In his defense, the Saiyans are the most powerful race in the universe. I can understand why he doesn't want to fuck with a full-grown Saiyan warrior. Nobody wants to fuck with a full-grown Saiyan warrior. The most that the finest police force in the universe can do against Saiyans is to try and nip them in the bud when they're babies.

It's interesting that Galactic Patrol doesn't have Scouter technology. I wonder if that proprietary? Frieza might have a patent.

But at the same time, I don't want to be too sympathetic to Jaco because. Well. He sucks.

Galactic Patrol sucks. That's kind of the bit. Jaco is a self-absorbed little shit, utterly devoid of empathy or compassion for the people he polices. He's stranded on Earth right now because he wasn't watching the road while driving.

Jaco's a prick, but what little we learn about Galactic Patrol as a whole doesn't make them sound much better.

This one time Jaco accidentally pressed the Extinction Bomb when he wasn't supposed to and wiped out a planet. Hoo boy, was his boss mad! Gave him a real talking to before giving him another Extinction Bomb and putting him back on patrol.

Universe isn't going to police itself, y'know. Someone's gotta be out there very occasionally trying to stop those real estate genocides.

For his part, Jaco's in it for the aesthetic. He likes the image of being a cop, and he spends his time practicing looking cool for when he presumably dispenses justice upon the criminal element.

But his interactions with the common people are filled with condescension and menace.

Like I said, this is the bit. Jaco is a self-important thug with a badge, with the initial conflict stemming as much from trying to keep him from doing something awful to the community under his jurisdiction as from trying to solve his problem.

Ostensibly here to protect Earth from the impending arrival of a Saiyan threat, he is as much a threat to this community as the invader he's here to assess. Without Omori there to guide him, he'd be killing people left and right.

He fits in pretty well with the cast of Dragon Ball, many of whom at least begin their tenure with a degree of amorality to them. Omori himself is a bitter misanthrope ironically thrust into the position of having to convince Jaco not to kill people.

And then there's the manga's biggest Dragon Ball connection: The introduction of Tights.

Any reader who's been picking up on the Dragon Ball-ness of this universe will know immediately where Tights came from. Her name pun gives the game away. Just like how the final chapter clarifies Jaco's target as the young Goku, we get to see the familiar faces of Tights's family as well.

Bulma basically solves the entire plot singlehandedly.

Even as a little kid, the universe's greatest heretic remains unparalleled in the field of game-breaking super-intelligence. Bulma OP do not nerf.

Again, this speaks to how little of the manga is actually about the plot. If this were a story-driven manga, having a character from another manga show up in the final issue and solve the plot in the span of two pages would be pretty disappointing. But since the plot is just an excuse to make these characters interact with one another, it doesn't really matter.

We aren't here for the story; We're here for the relationship between Jaco, Omori, and Tights. With that in mind, Baby Bulma waddling up and going "I fixed the spaceship; Are you stupid or something?" is hysterical.

For her part, Tights lives up to her family legacy of being super-brilliant.

She graduated from college at 16. She's a genius like the rest of the family. What she's not is interested in science and technology. Possibly as a justification for why we've never heard of her before, Tights goes against the mold for her family.

She honestly seems like something of a free spirit. She lives in East City when we meet her, famously the city that Nappa wiped off the map, while Capsule Corp and Bulma's family are out in West City. Rather than a scientist, she works as a body double for a famous pop idol.

As a publicity stunt, they're going to launch an idol into space. Tights's job is to impersonate the idol so she can die in the inevitable disaster instead. She is bizarrely chill with being paid a huge sum of money to get stupidly killed. Much like Bulma, Tights has a terrible sense of self-preservation and is willing to take on incredible risk for the sake of achieving a personal goal.

Tights is the best character in the manga. An aspiring sci-fi novelist who agreed to probably die in space for the sake of the experience. This family gives zero fucks.

And then there's Omori himself.

Despite its title, Omori is basically the main character of this manga. He's the one whose life situation is most heavily scrutinized. This is his status quo that Jaco and Tights enter. Similarly, Omori is the character who undergoes personal transformation as his experiences with Jaco and Tights help him find hope in connections with other people again.

The three characters click really well together. So well, in fact, that Dragon Ball would end up recycling the setup of Super Alien/Crotchety Old Man/Spunky Young Woman for one of the best dynamics they ever wrote.

This is not a copy/paste; Cheelai, Leemo, and Broly are all distinctly separate characters. but you can still feel the barebones aesthetic of Tights, Omori, and Jaco in their dynamic.

So. Yeah. Overall, for what it is, it's a cute little short story about a group of characters just living lives in the world of Dragon Ball. It's the kind of thing that the franchise needs more of, and still does to this day: An opportunity to flesh out the universe a little but also just to let us live in it through the eyes of someone else.

[likearhinestonecowgirl]

Deadpool Headcanons

cw:: mentions of sex and violence. it's wade lol

description:: goddess reader, wade is your boyfriend >:)

a/n:: wade and i are married irl so this is straight from the source

Wade likely meets you first. which is a nice way of saying he's been stalking you after having a legitimate romcom, slow motion, wind only in HIS (metaphorical) hair moment

once he finally introduces himself, your aggravation only leads (turns) him on

your way of cooing condescending, violent things as you accost this clown(?) sets it in stone - your the love of his fucking life

You shove Wade against the nearest wall. "I'm sure you're a.. special kid, but let's put on our listening caps." Your eyes practically pierce his soul, unblinking, pupils narrow and frustrated. "Go ahead." You release him and pat his head like an order. "On." You wait a beat, make sure he's listening- at least to the best of his ability. "Get in my way again and I will turn you into a fucking vegetable." You whisper yell, hardly realizing your nails are biting his jaw through his mask. "Thank you." With a curt grin and pat to his cheek, you saunter past him.

He grunts as he’s slammed against the wall, staring down at you with furrowed brows and a slowly growing grin. “This is not how my first dates usually go but I’m game.” He blurts out before you start speaking. He tilts his head at the mention of a listening cap, looking down at his hands as if one will materialize before you let him go. He blinks slowly and mimes putting a hat on before his head is shoved back against the wall at the force of your sudden grasp. He grins quickly at the fleeting feeling of nails sinking into flesh, chest heaving a touch before he mourns the loss of the sting almost instantly. As his skin stitches itself back together, he rouses himself from his starry eyed haze and starts after you. “How do you feel about Tahiti—maybe Turks and Caicos, I can’t exactly tan, but I feel like I can just sit out and burn.” He rambles, hot on your heels as he takes a selfish look of you before returning to the task at hand. What was it again? Right—planning your honeymoon. “How do you feel about hydrangeas, they smell like shit but, we could always settle for tulips.” He stops for a beat before continuing. “Fuck, you’re a great negotiator. Fine, we can do orchids.”

Wade is nothing if not good at wearing people down. that's how he eventually gets you to start laughing at his jokes, to smile cheekily instead of burning him with your stare or the venom in your tone

his personality is infectious and soon enough you two are attached at the hip

Despite his CVS receipt of red flags, Wade is a really good boyfriend

Wade is surprisingly attentive, but you truly are the most interesting, beautiful, sexy, delicious, thing that has ever graced his sorry fucking existence so how could he not spend his life fixating on you

he picks up on all the little things you like and goes out of his way to keep you smiling - only happy, fucked out tears are allowed for his girl

you can conjure up whatever you like, being a god, so his money is reserved for surprises - ringpops whenever the last is finished, food because you likely don't know how to cook (why learn when you can will a three course meal into life with a snap of your fingers) and Wade is banned from every kitchen for obvious reasons, and merch of himself with his moniker, name, and/or his symbol on it

Wade can be possessive and jealous to a degree, so showing you off is one of his greatest pleasures

if you wear his hoodie or a little pair of sleep shorts or panties with his name on it, the poor fuck will actually combust. should've worn his white pants

any time you go literally anywhere and meet someone new (ie dragging him along and making him pay for stuff) Wade takes the opportunity to make it known you are his

"Oh, have you met my WIFE?"

He beams to the cashier at the luxury store who truly thought they were about to robbed.

"Yea, she's my WIFE. We're MARRIED. It was a crisp afternoon and she threw me against the wall-"

All while his arm is secured around you, holding you to his side as he thumbs over your hip bone.

he'll likely say you're married before you even start enjoying his company. the moment you accept that unwrapped ring pop definitely covered in blood and lint, those metaphorical documents are signed. it's set in stone like the 11th fucking commandment. you'll be together forever

and you just go along with it. why not? being immortal gets boring after a few millenniums and this strange, poor mentally challenged man in spandex is pretty fun having around

the whole married bit goes on for so long you're not even sure if it's still a bit anymore

Wade uses the sanctity of your marriage in any situation - another guy with a gun on some mission copping a feel? "I'M MARRIED". someone brushes past him on the street? "I'M MARRIED". sees anyone look a little too long at you? "SHE'S MARRIED"

he'd kill and die for you over and over again. say the word and it's a done deal. that hypothetical guy who checked you out a little too long got a face full of gloved knuckles

want to keep his dick in a jar because Wade Jr. obviously brings you so much joy? say less. he knows a guy who can get him formaldehyde cheap

if Wade isn't busy showing you off in public, he's arguing with strangers on reddit about how you very much are his real life WIFE

ilovechappelroan: That's photoshop.

mercwithamouth1: it's not we took that picture together and her tits r real

webhead123: i think it's AI generated. see the blurry line where his cheek is apparently pressed against her head?

ilovechappelroan: Yea, mods should take this down.

mercwithamouth1: i have ur ip and im omw over she'll tell u herself WE ARE MARRIED and she will dox u bc she LOVES ME

webhead123: okay???? i already know where i live lol

"Hold this." Wade orders with a pouty huff and camera at the ready as he hands you a paper that reads i'm not a hostage don't ask me to blink twice

you two bicker and argue over random things (usually because you enjoy a reason to complain as it passes the time in your literally endless existence), but it's never anything of substance and usually under a veil of something condescending any sly

these stupid, teasing spats 9 times out of 10 end up with Wade soothing your brattiness by cooing little phrases and pulling you onto him in any way he can

"Don't pout, you're so sexy- fuck, I can't stay mad at you- what if I let you peg me?"

Wade doesn't mind this routine at all. it's just another reason for him to get his hands on you

he loves holding you, feeling the weight of your body against his - throwing you over his shoulder when you're being a brat, carrying you all day because his girl is "just too pretty walk", sat on his lap, chest, face (when he's been *really* good)

he'll do virtually anything to have you praise him, call yourself mommy and go on about how much of a good boy he is

he in turn responds to that comfort with a few pet names of his own - sweetheart, cupcake, the wind beneath my wings, my will to live or his favorite my future baby mama

nothing in the universe, not even the shittiest of writers he's handed, could take him away from you

he's content just having you, knowing you're his - BUT he does have a little fantasy he's shared a few hundred time of really having you. a pretty thing, a trophy who sits at home and waits for him to walk through the door covered in blood and guts. you can't go outside, it's just not safe out there for his baby, so he'll always be with you. dress you in nice things, show you off, shower you in affection, heed your every whim. you'd be slaves to each other

and why would you protest? sounds fun

[afurtivecake]

One thing I've been wondering is how much did Riko really see Kevin as a brother and how much did he see him as a possession? (And is there really a distinction between the two in Riko's eyes?) Because, I don't think Kevin was ever meant to be Riko's brother or Riko's equal on the court. I think Tetsuji took Kevin in as an investment, nothing more:

"Tetsuji never formally adopted Kevin. Do you know why? Moriyamas don't believe in outsiders or equals. Tetsuji took Kevin in and took over his training, but he also gave Kevin to Riko—literally. Kevin isn't human to them. He's a project. He's a pet, and it's Riko's name on his leash. Sakavic, Nora. The Foxhole Court (All for the Game Book 1) (p. 88).

To the outside world, Tetsuji taking custody over both Riko and Kevin would have looked like him adopting them and making them brothers, but "Moriyamas don't believe in outsiders or equals" so what reason would he have had to lead Riko to believe that Kevin would be his brother? A brother implies a level of equality. He probably thought this will be a learning experience for Riko: give him something to be responsible for, something that he has to learn to control because he's a Moriyama and it's about time he learned how dominate lesser beings. He probably imagined Kevin to be something like Jean was: an obedient servant who can take being beaten within and inch of his life semi-regularly, no sense of autonomy, blindly submissive, and still able to be one of the top players in his position. A valuable right-hand man perhaps, but nothing worth kicking up a fuss over.

I think (and this might just be me wanting a good story) that the whole "brothers" thing came from Riko. A neglected kid with nothing and no one to call him 'family' receives a boy, who doesn't have anyone to call him family either, and is told, "This is yours now. This is yours to mind. Do whatever you want with him but make sure he knows his place and knows how to obey the right people." To a kid who's longing for something to call his own and someone to recognize him as family, that could easily have sounded like, "This is yours now, your person, to be by your side always. Yours to tend, yours to keep, yours." I think Tetsuji said "possession" and Riko heard, "brother". And if that's not what a brother actually is, well, who's going to tell him that? It's not as if there's a single example of a normal family relationship to be found among the Ravens.

I think Riko made Kevin his brother because he wanted something more than a possession. He wanted an ally, someone who always has his back and would never leave him. Riko making Kevin his brother instead of just a pet as was intended, gave Kevin a degree a freedom that Tetsuji probably wouldn't have allowed otherwise: travelling outside of the country with Riko, not always being stuck inside Evermore, studying what he wanted...he even got to have interests and to enjoy exy even when he wasn't playing (being a Trojans fan) and he managed to have friends outside of Evermore (Jeremy). Ravens don't have family or an identity outside of being a Raven, but Riko made Kevin his brother and gave him the chance to become his own person.

If Riko considers Kevin a brother, how can he turn around and hurt Kevin like he's nothing more than a possession, you ask? Well, I'm not sure he sees any conflict between the two. To Riko, beating Kevin up isn't outside of what Riko understands as "family" and doting on Kevin as a brother doesn't go against what Riko sees as ownership. To Tetsuji, ownership might only include being able to treat a person like shit without consequence. But for Riko, allowing Kevin freedom and indulging his "whims" probably feels as much like ownership as hurting Kevin without recourse does.

It seems impossible and stupid for their relationship to be anything other than toxic and deeply fucked up, but I think Riko selfishly believed that so long as he kept things in check, so long as Kevin stayed exactly where he was, he'd get to keep him. Even when Riko starts suspecting that other people are starting to see that Kevin might be better than him, even when being brothers is no longer useful to him if he wants to prove that he's really a Moriyama, Riko can't let go of their brotherhood. He doesn't give Kevin up until the very end. He can't. No matter how angry he gets at Kevin, no matter how much he comes to enjoy seeing Kevin hurt and sorry, there are lines he can't quite bring himself to cross. Because Kevin is still his brother. Because for better or for worse, he made Kevin mean something more to him than a possession when he made him his brother.

I don't think Tetsuji expected Riko to cling on to Kevin as though Kevin was actually important. He didn't think that by partnering the two, by giving them a common goal and a common enemy, that it would create a bond between them. But they did and maybe, in some ways, their dysfunctional relationship both saved them and doomed them.

[woman-respecter]

okay one last rant about chappell cuz i'm sure you're sick of herr (same):

i'm soooo tired of white people. i hate how chappell acts about palestine because it's SO "i learned activism from the internet and i have insane white guilt and i feel guilt for being a privileged white american" and that helps no one. bonus: she has republican parents so she has to force the activism even harder to compensate for her shitty family. i hate both sides as well but i'm not a stupid ass white person who won't be affected as much by not voting and not backing kamala.

chappell is so embarrassing like even taylor swift said i support kamala. her internet activism means that she would rather say guyssss both sides bad :/ than actually do anything of any value (it feels like she wants to be leftist so baddd that she ends up a fool... "all presidents bad i can't support any" girl you're high up in the evil capitalist music inudstry i wouldn't judge too hard if i were u..) but that's current activism for you doe. why make any change when you can just complain and do nothing? besides, leftists rn would tear any change apart to shreds cuz they expect everything to be fixed immediately. i've seen so many leftists get upset seeing progress of anything rn because because g-g-genocide!

leftists: you evil white gays celebrate improved gay rights in a red state ur so evil ugh a genocide is happening and ur happy? you need to blow yourself up to prove your loyalty to palestine and to understand what they're going through!

lastly everything chappell and ethel cain does for palestine is so forced and fake lol. it's all to make them feel better about being white and privileged. ethel cain makes jokes about killing the president girl! 🤔 youre enjoying your nice white life in a comfortable position in the music industry...you'd never give that up and stand on business cause ur all words no action..

ethel made a song for palestine and it was good but since she graduated with honors from the school of internet activism i cannot take it seriously. everything she does screams "sorry for being white :("

and then hunter from euphoria got praised for getting arrested at a JVP PROTEST (LMAO). like that rich white girl getting arrested and then nothing happened to her is not revolutionary it's actually giving kendall pepsi ad ! i will say it's more than ethel and chappell put together but still pathetically whitee.

lastly hayley from paramore ethel hunter chappell none of them actually support palestine. they try so hard to be leftist and activists which is ironic because they are capitalizing on palestine to look good, to overcompensate for their whiteness and privilege and because of guilt. their "support for palestine" are just large pr stunts that bring them more fans and more money. look at ethel. she LOVES florence (i believe they are good friends) and florence is besties with taylor swift and endorsed kamala. all bark no bitee :)

i HATE all of the performative leftist celebs you mentioned (except hayley from paramore) so fucking much. it’s obvious that their priorities are getting rid of their white guilt, being edgy, and winning clout points with the online left. they do not give an actual shit about palestine. the funny thing is that if taylor’s endorsement really does help keep trump out of the white house she will have done more for palestine than all those losers combined. sorry!

and yeah its funny that ethel, and almost every pop girlie, is at most like 2 or 3 degrees away from someone who is friends with taylor or idolizes taylor. sorry haters it really is that way. she’s your favorite artist’s ACTUAL favorite artist

[doveywovy]

dunmeshi coffee shop au in which:

- falin and laios start the coffee shop together. falin runs cash register and customers are CONSTANTLY falling in love with her customer service performance. laios is banished to the back and makes elaborate coffee orders with amazing precision. he spends his free time experimenting with new kinds of coffee recipes to add to their menu.

marcille initially shows up to talk falin into going back to medical school with her (she's almost graduated and is on track to become a brain surgeon, + falin was halfway thru a less specific medical degree) except she ends up dropping out to stay and help run the shop instead. she keeps trying to have meet-cutes with the customers because she's read so many ao3 coffee shop au fics but so far none of it's working.

senshi initially comes in regularly to complain about the lack of food options while purchasing his coffee; eventually they hire him as a chef and now the shop also has pastries and breakfast sandwiches that are surprisingly filling

izutsumi is a runaway teen and eventually hired to do cleanup, which she's actually really great at. however if anyone leaves a cup on the table, she first smacks it violently to the floor (potentially spraying coffee everywhere) before she cleans, which drives marcille insane. izutsumi views this as a bonus.

shuro is the health inspector. because of falin they will never have to worry about this. falin is like oopsies i accidentally spit in your coffee i hope thats not a health concern and shuro is like bonus points actually, you're doing so good

laois designs a coffee called The Marcille which is genuinely delicious, which marcille finds very moving. laois clarifies he created it by imagining what marcille would taste like and marcille is less moved. The Marcille is not a very popular drink (it's an acquired taste) but it remains on the menu with a few devoted fans.

kabru runs a tea shop across the street and initially views them as competition. he attemps to befriend them and then plot the demise of their business. by the end of the month he claims that's still the case, but that he'll give laois a job whenever the business fails out of the kindness of his heart.

chilchuck repairs the machines and eventually invests in the business. his favorite drink is The Marcille, which becomes deeply awkward for him when he finds out it's named after an actual person it's supposed to taste like (laois??? why???).

Laois adds a single tea to his menu for kabru, who eventually admits he HATES coffee. this is very sweet of him. unfortunately laois has no idea what tastes good in tea and is incapable of learning, so his tea tastes like shit. kabru drinks it every time he comes over regardless through gritted teeth.

[ryanguzmansource]

Full Transcript (8.4.24)

(already posted on RGS here)

M: Recording? Everybody recording?

R: Everybody's recording.

M: Everybody tuned in? We just filmed half the episode and forgot that we weren't recording.

R: No, that was great.

M: Yeah, and that's my time. Man, yo, what up gang? Welcome to the L&L Podcast, where we sit down with a dope individual, get a lecture, learn a little bit about their life, then we get in the lab and create something dope, which is gonna come at a later day, because me and this guest got a real special one that's gonna take some time, so be patient. I promise it's gonna be worth it. In the meantime, there's gonna be a special aspect, a special section of this interview. It's gonna be for Patreon only. It's gonna be Fan Questions and a little mini lab that I haven't told him about yet, because it's gonna be a surprise slash side mission, but yeah, so we're gonna get there, patreon.com/lnlpod.

Join the university right now, it's only $5, and you can get the BTS and the creatives and all the episodes a day early, and for the other seven episodes as well. So this episode is the season one finale.

Yeah, I'm so hyped that y'all made it this far. Season One has been a road. So yeah, you know, we wanna keep doing more and more and more, and we're in a new space. This is the Feybl [pronounced Fable] House, first episode that we gonna do here, and this is gonna be our new home for a while, and it ain't cheap, so all my brands out there, if you wanna sponsor the boy, that'd be great.

[INTRO MUSIC]

M: All right, we're here today with somebody super dope. I've known him for a while now, maybe six years or so through a mutual friend, and since day one that we've met, he's let me into his life and into his home, and he's been a big supporter of me and everything I've been doing these last six years and vice versa and some quick flowers. Multi-talented in so many different facets of art, and we're gonna try to get into all of them in some way, shape or form today. My boy, Ryan Guzman. What's cracking, my boy?

R: What's up, bro? Thanks for having me, man.

M: I appreciate that.

R: I appreciate you.

M: Yeah, you're my dog. You're my dog. I just jumped into it. I wasn't gonna start it this way, but when you told me where you were earlier today, you had a fitting for a season eight for 9-1-1. What kind of weird shit they got you wearing?

R: Nothing weird yet. I mean, I feel like it's more clothes this season than last. The last season, I felt like half naked half the whole season. Nah, I mean, the character's been established now. We kind of know what to expect with the vibe, and now it's just kind of falling back in the old rhythm. And the only thing different now is where the character's head's at and where he's going.

M: Got you. I mean, the majority of what you wear is the firefighter fit anyway.

R: Yeah, a lot of plaid, a lot of cowboy shit.

M: It's legit, though, like the firefighter fits. They're like legit firefighter shit.

R: To an extent. Yeah, there's certain times where we're wearing the actual gear and we'll have to take out the lining because if we're in, say, for instance, 112 degree weather, we got to stay in that shit for like hours. I can cuss?

M: Yeah.

R: All right. We got to stay in that shit for like 12 hours, 14 hours. So we're not trying to do that. So luckily, the wardrobe department helps us out.

M: Because that shit be heavy as hell, bro.

R: I mean, full gear, that's like 50, 60 pounds.

M: See, no, I'm good.

R: Yeah.

M: I'm good. That's why you get paid the big bucks, bro.

R: Yeah.

M: That's dope, man. Okay. Can we talk about where you just came from? With Rosario [Dawson]?

R: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We can talk about that.

M: Cool. Yeah. He just got back from filming over the weekend. It was quick weekend shoot, like in and out?

R: It was full week. Yeah. And how it happened actually was kind of crazy. Like my boy Lamont, shout out to him, he's the writer on the movie, and they had already been filming. So they're like 10, 12 days in. He hit me up and he's like, hey, so this character that we've been writing, like we don't have anybody for him. They have somebody in mind and then Rosario has another person in mind, but we're not sure if they're going to work out with the scheduling and everything. So I'm like, all right, send me the script. Sends me the script.

M: You was plan B, dog?

R: I was plan C, but-

M: I'll take it.

R: Oh man, after I read that thing—cause I'm not thinking nothing like that—I'm like, you know what? I read that. I'm like, all right, now I'm gonna kill this.

M: Okay.

R: Yeah, I want this. And it's a smaller role, it's what I've been looking for, I'm not looking for, like, the lead role right now.

M: Word.

R: I'm looking for something really textured, really, like, fun to do, and this is everything it was. So, like, I get the thing, I hit Lamont back, I'm like yo, whoever you're thinking about, you can tell me. I'ma—I'ma beat them. I need to get—I need this.

M: I need names. Who were they?

R: Yeah. So I can't remember the first person, but the other person was Wilmer Valderama, and that's a close friend to Rosario.

M: Okay.

R: So I almost hit Wilmer, cause I know Wilmer, and I was like, bro, step out. [laughs] But everything worked out the way it should be. So I sent Lamont, you know, my fight background. I sent him me shooting and stuff cause it's an action flick.

M: I was going to say fight background. So your character, you whooping on somebody?

R: Yeah, we get down. So me and Rosario, she's doing like a John Wick kind of thing.

M: Oh.

R: Yeah.

M: So she's the John Wick?

R: She's the John Wick.

M: Let's go.

R: Yeah. I'm the partner.

M: Okay. Good guy partner.

R: Good guy partner.

[INDISTINGUISHABLE]

M: Alright.

R: Either way, though, like the whole thing was just from day one, like, as soon as I get on set, she was the coolest person in the fucking world.

M: Tight. First time working with her?

R: First time working. We have mutual friends. Like I said, Wilmer, we know Wilmer. Another girl named Pantera Sarah. Shout out to her too. But there's so many like individuals that we know, we never crossed paths.

M: Sure.

R: And I heard from all of them, like, when you get to see her, you're going to understand why so many people love her. And I can understand.

M: Quick.

R: I was on a FaceTime with my kids and my mom, and she pops in right behind, and she just like naturally flows into the conversation. She's like, give me a hug kind of thing. And she's like, you know..

M: Those are the kind of people you want to work with, man. Like, there's so many people out there, they can turn such a positive environment and opportunity into just like, yo, get me out of here.

R: I've worked with them.

M: I know.

R: Yeah, I've worked with some idols of mine and I'm like, never meet your idols. idols of mine and I'm like, okay...

M: Never meet your idols, man. That's what they say.

R: Learning experience, yeah.

M: You don't have to say names. Do you have any stories that pop in your head, like when you think of working with people like that, you're like, yo, there's one time, there's one person that was like this.

R: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

M: You don't have to say names.

R: It's a learning experience. As soon as you find out certain people you thought would be, like, really, really talented in one aspect, and you hear that they're using a little ear thing, or they don't even know about the script. I heard one of my idols say, I hope—the movie that I was doing with—goes straight to the trash. I was like, I'm doing a movie with you. Yeah. Like what? Like how do you—? Come to find out it was just for a paycheck. So I'm like, okay. So those kind of things are defeating. But then you work with Rosario Dawson. You work with certain individuals like Angela Bassett.

M: Like, yeah.

R: My God. They give you this new sense of energy, this new like, like, this is why I do this, you know?

M: I was going to save this question for the private one because we already flown in it and you can plead the fifth, bro. But there was another podcast interview from a homie of mine called the No Chaser Podcast. Shout out No Chaser. And he brought on an ex of yours who mentioned that there was an ex of hers who that person worked on a movie where that actress forced him to pretend to be single and went public and faked a relationship for press for the movie.

R: Yeah.

M: Some legitimacy behind that?

R: To fake to be single? Nah, there was no faking to be single, but it did seem like I-I don't know, because I was going everywhere with, we're talking about Jennifer Lopez, right?

M: We are, yeah.

R: I was going everywhere with Jennifer Lopez and, like, rumors get spread and that's kind of what it was. And I'm kind of new to the whole, like, fame thing and at that point, so I done Step Up and stuff, that's a certain fame, but Jennifer Lopez is on a different level. So I wasn't used to everybody being in my business and asking crazy outlandish questions. Seeing me by her side, I'm thinking it's all promotional for the movie, and then it turned into this other thing.

M: Well, I mean, when she's like, you think it's promotion and she's like, yeah, promotion and just slips you one of these or leans in a little bit too close and is like, hey, I'm going to head out. You need to leave with me. Like, just walk me to my car, but don't tell people why. Just let's go.

R: Like, it was nothing like that. It was like, yeah, because had it been like that. She's a vet.

M: She knows what to do.

R: She knows what she's doing. But I, at the time, didn't, and I was just going with the flow pretty much. And I had, yeah, at that point in time, I had a girlfriend. Everything was on the up and up. I told her, you know, everything that was going down and everything. And I think she had been talking to Casper at that point.

M: Jen.

R: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they were on and off and on.

M: That's how I met Jen was through Casper.

R: Relationship kind of thing, yeah. So everything was exactly what it should have been. And again, I'm thinking, I killed this shit on the movie. So I'm like, I want people to see this. So you're asking me to do promotion with you? Yes.

M: Let's go.

R: Let's do it. I'm going to do everything I possibly can. Oh, you want to bring me on a whatever show? I'm there.

M: Yeah.

R: So I'm saying yes to everything. Yeah. So it can be perceived as something else. But to be honest, I never had that interest as crazy as it sounds. I don't know if a lot of people have been like, I'm not that, I'm not that. And if you really know me, then you understand that I'm not that. But yeah, and when I got that, that peek into her lifestyle, it's even more the fact that I don't want to be famous.

M: Yeah.

R: And I don't want all of that, that comes with her and everything. So I'll be a friend of hers.

M: Sure.

R: I'll support her from this side.

M: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the first time I met Jen, I was in her house. I didn't even know it was her house. Casper had a, we were doing something with Ian Eastwood for Tyga, and we were rehearsing at this place, and Casper was like, yo, just do rehearsal at my house. So I show up to Casper's house, and it's in Calabasas. I need a freaking password to get into the neighborhood. All this other shit. I'm like, yo, what is happening? And I pulled to this house. I was like, there's no way a dancer lives here, bro. You got to have like 46-

R: That's the one with the theater room in it, right? Big old theater room.

M: In the studio? Or in the house?

R: In the house.

M: I didn't get to view the whole house. There was like three wings. There was like three wings. I only went where the dance studio slash gym was.

R: I know what you're talking about. It had a big-ass gym and had a boxing bag.

M: Big old gym, boxing. Yeah, a whole set up, bro. And I walk in that joint, and I'm just like, there's no way you live here, bro. So I was like, I don't know whose house this is, but whatever. And then we rehearsing, and Casper's on the call, and he's like, yo, Jen's on her way home. She wants to come in and watch. And everybody's like, oh, no pressure, all that stuff. And I was like, I don't know who the fuck Jen is. Who's Jen?

R: Yeah.

M: Like, there's a million Jens in the world.

R: Ms. Lopez herself.

M: Yeah. And she just got off of work. At the time, I think she was a guest judge on American Idol or something like that. So she comes in, dolled up, heels, whatever, looking like she just got off the fucking national TV show. And then she just walks in, takes her heels off, sits down, wipes her butt, and shakes my hand. And I was just like, well, there go that hand.

R: You haven't washed it since?

M: I mean, I run it under water. Nah, that was a while ago. That was back in, I don't know, 2013, 2014. It's been a while. But I just, yeah, I had no idea this was her crib. And then it clicked, I was like, oh, okay, yeah. All right, Casper, you went, really? How? How do you do that? How do you pull that? Are y'all like Britney and Kevin Fed? Like, K-Fed? Is that what's going on? And they're like, yeah, pretty much. I'm like, all right, this ain't gonna last. This ain't gonna last very long. And it didn't. Shout out to Casper.

R: Yo, that's a crazy shout out right there. That's a crazy shout out.

M: Well, honestly, man, I don't like, I got respect for Casper, everything that he's done. That job, I got through Ian. So like, I don't, you know, credit Casper for like putting me in that situation. I do remember working with Casper one extra time, and he showed up to set as a creative director in rain boots, basketball shorts, and like a peacoat, and that was his fit of choice for the day. So I was like, okay, huh, that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. And at that point, I was like, you lost me, bro. Like, you lost me. I don't know what's happening now. No disrespect, though. Like, you're talented, you're cool, like, we cool. But as a person who was your friend for like two hours, we got to talk about that fit. And that's just public help. So working with Jen on the show or in the film was good. It was a good experience.

R: I had a great time.

M: Well, I mean, yeah, we all saw the movie. We saw.

R: Yeah, it was intense on many, many levels.

M: You were like, I need another take. I got to run that back. I can do better.

R: The whole thing was crazy. I was, I mean, obviously, it's Jennifer Lopez. I'm a no name person from Step Up series, which I don't think anybody saw at that time.

M: Yeah.

R: Come to find out later on, it's like one of my bigger movies.

M: Big community.

R: Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to everybody that supported me and all the dancers out there. You know that. So I'm thinking coming in to this thing, like I got to work a trillion times harder as if I just started Step Up. Like I'm not a dancer, I'm not an actor, so I got to work a trillion times harder to get this role. Same thing with Boy Next Door. This girl is established, she's had plenty of things. I'm talking to Selena. So like I need to step up my game in all aspects.

M: No pun intended.

R: And I literally felt every single day the pressure of like, how do I still give her all her glory and shine to make her look good, but also stand out?

M: That's a nice balance. That's a hard balance.

R: Yeah, because you don't want to try and outshine somebody.

M: It's hard to do.

R: Yeah, I mean, but people try and do that and it backfires on them.

M: You look thirsty. Yeah, it looks real bad.

R: It looks really bad. Nobody wants to work with you or anything. So I like—there's a level of respect that you always want to have, and I always gave her that level of respect. It was kind of reciprocated and I think it was an open environment that we created together. So it lent itself to just what it is now and why people enjoy it. And yeah, there's campiness to the movie, which I think again makes it an enjoyable film. If everything was supposed to be serious and everything was supposed to be like—

I was just on a radio show talking about how my character gives her a first edition book that should have never been given to her. And like, there's no way, like unless I robbed the Vatican, I would never have been able to give her this book. So, you know, there is some like level of levity to the whole film. But the whole fact that we were able to work cohesively and play off each other so well and it be kind of nice and comfortable, which was partly because of her as well.

M: Yeah.

R: Yeah, you know, I didn't feel anything crazy and it felt like natural.

M: That's good. That's good. Honestly, man, like, and this is also speaking from slight experience, but there's actors and actresses out there that you got to catch them in certain stages of their life to have those type of experiences with them. I feel like if you would have booked this movie with her maybe two years ago, you probably would have had a completely different experience.

R: Yes, I would have.

M: You know, based on where you are in life but also the things that she's gone through.

R: Yeah, I've heard the other stuff. Yeah, and like I can't relate to be honest.

M: That's great. So, okay. So have you been asked about that specific scene with her before?

R: Too many times.

M: Yeah, kind of like how that came about.

R: Came with a lot of Jen and a lot of Rob, which is the director.

M: Yeah.

R: Those two individuals came with the whole scene. I stayed quiet. I didn't do nothing.

M: You're like, just tell me where you want me.

R: I was like, what? You want me to do what? And with what? What? Okay. Let me wrap my head around this because…

M: Is this your first sex scene?

R: That was my first sex scene.

M: Like in your career? I mean…

R: Yeah, yeah, that was. Yeah.

M: That's scary.

R: Yeah.

M: To have your first sex scene with Jen, bro? Like, she's already a sex icon.

R: All these different things. And like, bro, I got nervous at one point in time in the middle of filming. I think it was like our first or second take. And I was supposed to pick her up and I grabbed her. And I was so nervous.

M: Is this okay?

R: Nah, I grabbed her and I accidentally put too much behind it. And I threw her ass into the roof. Like, she hit her head into the roof. And I was like, oh my God. I'm like, I just damaged the like, the lead of the film.

M: Am I fired?

R: Yeah, I'm thinking like, I'm blushing and everything. I'm like, I'm freaking out.

M: I'll get my stuff.

R: Exactly. They already found out. Casper's about to swoop in and take the ball. But it's one of the things, like the whole time, I'm trying to stay calm and copacetic and just be like, alright, where do you need me? What do you need me to do? And I don't want to make it a weird, it's already weird to be doing a sex scene amongst like, in general, you know, seven, eight people.

M: Yeah.

R: And a bunch of, you look up, a bunch of dudes are just sitting there like this. [stares]

M: Like, all right, look.

R: Yeah.

M: Go get a snack, man.

R: It's not as sexy as everybody thinks it is, no matter who you're doing it with.

M: Right. It's still awkward.

R: It's still very awkward.

M: See, I could, man, like—the first time, I mean, once you've done a couple, okay, your first one ever being with Jen, I'm questioning, can I ask, can I, is this like consent? You know what I mean?

R: Yeah. I mean, luckily again, she was the one controlling everything and I think that's how it should be in the sex scenes where, you know, females are just like, you know, I'll give you my two cents on where I feel like the character is coming from.That being said, like, tell me what you're comfortable with, because I will not, I don't want to step over the boundaries or anything like that. So, and she was, and she is that kind of person. She's very directional. So she knows which direction she wants to go to. And Rob, you know—this is another thing, like nobody would understand how awkward this situation was. As much as it looks sexy, we're trying to sell that sexiness and intimacy.

Picture this: me, Rob is right here. He's like, alright, you're gonna lower your hand. Okay, then you're gonna go to her neck. So, it's not like…

M: You got a grown man whispering in your ear while you're trying to touch on Jennifer Lopez.

R: I got a grown man telling me how to make love to this woman.

M: I know what I'm doing, Rob.

R: Yeah. So, it's not what it seems. And the whole fact that people resonated with that and that scene kind of went so much. It's like, we did our job then.

M: Yeah.

R: Because you don't feel a person right next to me talking to me like this.

M: And honestly, and you telling me that like, your real mindset was like… The first thing that it went to was, I feel like this is what the character needs, as opposed to, Mikey is about to touch Jennifer, not my character is about to touch her character.

R: Yeah, not gonna go that way.

M: You know what I mean? So to have that switch is like, that's hard to do, brother.

R: For me, it's not, to be honest. And I think maybe also being in a relationship at the same time, like, I did feel weird, because I mean, yes, we're actors and we're doing what we're told to do. But in my personal life, I'm giving my everything to this girl.

M: Sure.

R: You know, and you know me, I happen to be very devout when it comes to being respectful to my women that I'm with, and I don't want to cross any of those boundaries. So I'm forced to cross this boundary in this film. Yeah. So I'm like, alright, I got to make this more businesslike. And I know a lot of men out there, you know, a lot of friends out there would come to me and be like, nah, bro, if I was in this situation...

M: But you're not.

R: That's why you didn't get the job.

M: But you're not.

R: And that's why you probably wouldn't be in it. So like, you know, I have to get the respect to who I'm working with.

M: Is there any role out there that you feel uncomfortable with? Are you like down for whatever? Are you one of those actors that's like…

R: No, I got my boundaries.

M: You got your boundaries? Good, good, good.

R: Yeah. And I don't think I'll ever, you know, really explain my boundaries.

M: Voice those, yeah. That's for you.

R: Yeah. It'll just be like, no, I don't want to do that.

M: Got you.

R: I'm gonna stay over here.

M: Got you. Is it more situations or like characters in general?

R: All the above. It depends on what I'm resonating with or not resonating with. Because I want the character now, at this point in my life, I need the character to resonate in truth.

M: Yeah.

R: You know, even if it's a comedy or not, right, you know, I'm trying to up my acting as much as I can every single year.

M: I feel you.

R: So if I can't be truthful in it, then I don't feel like I'm doing it justice.

M: Yeah. I mean, as an aspiring actor, I know, you know, I've been like taking classes. I'm not like anywhere near what you got going on. But you know that it's a goal one day and I'm working towards it. You know, you already start the picture in your mind, your dream goals, but then like your dream roles. But you also start the picture like—because I'm so new and you feel like you want to say yes to everything because you don't have anything on your resume yet. Like if a major motion picture, John Wick 7, whatever, I don't even know what number they're on now, hits me up and we're like, yo, we want you to play a role and be a significant part of the film. It's really hard to say no to something like that, but they're like, you have to play a racist who says the n word 46 times. I have trouble living with myself being that character. You know what I mean?

R: You have every right to at the same time. Like you don't—just because it's Quentin Tarantino doesn't mean you have to do it.

M: I know.

R: But it is Quentin Tarantino. So a lot of people will be like, all right, well, I got the pass now. You know?

M: Yeah.

R: I got the culture pass like...

M: Yeah, it's for the arts, for the films, for you know.

R: And if it is meant, it's all about how you interpret it. And so anybody that does do certain things that I probably wouldn't do, there's nothing against any of that. And they found their way through that, and you know, it probably came out with an incredible, you know, performance.

M: Yeah.

R: What was the BlacKkKlansman? That? Yeah. Like, so you see certain people do certain things on that. You're like, oh, I don't know if I could do that.

M: I probably couldn't do it.

R: So, you know, all power to them, and we're all storytelling at the same time. So there's an understanding and a kind of like acknowledgement that this is for an art and this is for the story itself, this has no representation on your personal life.

M: Yeah.

R: But again, it's the interpretation of the artist.

M: Also, though, with that, it is not a personal, like, indication on who you are as a person. But when it's your first project and you blow up from it, a lot of people recognize you as that. Somebody who's already established, who have done 10, 20 different roles at this point, you know, Johnny Depp comes out with a movie tomorrow where he's super racist. No one's gonna look at him as the racist guy in the street. They're like, he's playing a role.

R: Exactly.

M: But if you've never seen me before in your life and now every time you see me, you just think of, oh, he's the one that was…

R: Oh, he's that guy that did that.

M: He's that guy from the—You hate me no matter what. Even though you know it's a role.

R: Yeah.

M: You know what I mean?

R: That's gonna be the nature of the business, man.

M: You said that a little too believable, man. You said that a little too believable.

R: But literally, that's how it's gonna be for the rest of your acting career, man. People are gonna resonate with a certain character from your career, and they'll always see you as that character. When I go out, nowadays, I'm either Sean from Step Up—

M: Or you Eddie

R: Or I'm Eddie from 911. I'm not Ryan. And I gotta understand that. So the way I break the barrier down is, when you come up to me as a fan of the show or a fan of the character, I come up back to you and I'm like, hey, so what's your name? Tell me something about you. And that kind of breaks this whole, like, you know, actor barrier that allows it a little bit more ease, and then you get to see Ryan rather than Eddie. But that's something that you'll come upon, like John Wick 7 comes through and you have to be this crazy person over here and that somebody sees you as that person for the next couple years.

M: It's the nature.

R: That's the nature. You gotta learn how to navigate.

M: You got to be the guy who slept with JLo for a couple of years though. That was who people saw you as.

R: Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah, I mean, that's on so many levels.

M: I'll do that. I'll take that.

R: You could tell the type of fan because it was Step Up and Boy Next Door at that time. And certain fans show up and I'm like, oh, Step Up from the jump. Step Up. Alright. And then the other person be like, looking at me a little differently, alright. I know what scene you're thinking of.

M: Well, let's pick up with Step Up. That audition process, because you weren't a dancer before. And I'm pretty sure out of all, was it like four or five, five films, five Step Ups?

R: Now there's five.

M: Five, yeah. Out of all five step ups, I'm pretty sure Rob Hoffman was the only one who was a dancer prior as far as lead roles go. You get a, you get a call from your agent saying there's an audition for a role. Can you dance? Or I guess the audition process of Step Up specifically, because as a dancer, we know what our audition is like as dancers for a step up film. But like as an actor role, like walking through that a little bit.

R: Yeah. So I just got my manager like two, three months prior.

M: That's a good manager.

R: Yeah, man. I stayed with him this whole time. Like shout out to Tim Taylor. Yeah. I hear from another individual they're going out for the bad guy in Step Up. Like the guy that's trying to take down all the people that are trying to do these flash mobs.

M: He's so mean. He just looked like it.

R: I hear this and I'm like, bro, alright, I need to try, at least try, you know. I've seen the first Step Up. I really liked it. I love dancing. Even though I'm not a professional dancer, they would have like little sessions, little battles and stuff in Sacramento. And I remember I throw myself in the middle of the circle.

M: Got a big community over there.

R: Yeah, I love it. It's like a Bay Area influence, but we're not the Bay. So it's like, you know, we're the capital. We have our own little vibe too. So I would love to be in those like little situations. I'm like, alright, I know I have rhythm. I know I can dance. I'm not on that level, but I'm competitive. So just throw me in there real quick as like one of the side characters. And then my manager hits me back that same day. He's like, alright, you got an audition for the lead role. No, I said side character. I don't know if you heard me. And he goes, no, no, no, you're not a side character. You're a leading man. Like, so you're going to go out for the leading man. Again, for him to have that kind of vision for me, like that set my career path. I read it. I called a friend of mine. We went over the audition. I did my best version of Channing Tatum.

M: Which is what? Which is what?

R: I can't even tell you right now, because I like-

M: Let's see it, let's give me your Channing.

R: It was a version of Step Up 1, you know, like endearing, but kind of like got the street wisdom to it, and like I can move, and I got that little like, I don't know, the charisma was there and everything.

M: Well, he was a stripper before, so that kind of helps.

R: He was a stripper. Yeah, I wasn't a stripper. So he had all that in his bag, but for me it's...

M: There's still time. Magic Mike 5.

R: I'm gonna follow this man's career the whole time.

M: Why not?

R: Yeah, so I went in there, I did my thing and then, bro, that was the longest audition process I've ever had in my entire life. It was four or five acting auditions and then four or five dance auditions on top. So I remember doing the first audition hearing right away that I'm gonna get a call back. I'm flipping. So I'm like, okay. And the next audition was a dance audition. I'm like, I didn't know that. Okay, we gotta go there. So I'm on YouTube trying to figure out like, what's the new move out there? Like, how do I even get into this choreo thing?

M: I was gonna say, you gotta learn choreo or they want you to freestyle?

R: I didn't know, but I was gonna prepare both.

M: Regardless, yeah

R: And mind you, I showed up not prepared because like, you can only prepare so much in the night. So, or even a week. And I come in and come to find out I'm going to Jamal Sims, like, leading choreographer out there. And he's still doing, killing things right now. And he's teaching the choreographed session to Chris Brown's song. I can't remember what song it was, but—and then Don Draco Johnson was helping out as well.

M: Yeah, Draco.

R: And man, after a certain amount of time, like, you know what, I'm just going to be, again, competitive. I come from, you know, sports. I come from fighting. I'm going to just try outwork them. I know I don't have the talent they do, so I might as well just outwork these motherfuckers. So, like, that's what I did, and I think it kind of showed. And later on, we got paired up. I think it was four of us, Misha. Gabriel was up for the role of the main guy. And then I remember the last audition, they brought us all in, and they kind of just paired us up as duos. And they were trying to find the best friend kind of dynamic, and they found me.

M: He ended up being the best friend, right?

R: He ended up being the best friend, yeah. And it was his first acting role, my first acting role. Obviously had dance experience with MJ and everything. So I was leaning heavily on these people. Then I got the role, and then honestly that changed my life. And I met my family, my Step Up family to this day.

M: Yeah.

R: You know what I call my family. So Draco, Twitch, Marvelous, Bianca Brewett and Tony Bellissimo, all these individuals I still keep in contact with.

M: Y'all had a good squad, man.

R: Yeah, man.

M: For those films. And what I'll say too, and this is something that I told one of my last guests, my boy Terrence. You know Terrence Green? Ex-dancer who's one of the characters in the Step Up TV show, The High Water.

R: I met him through Marvelous, actually. Yeah. He sings and dances, right? Or no, he raps.

M: Raps, Yeah. So we were talking about his audition a little bit. And what I told him, when it comes to auditioning for a role like that, you're looking for an actor who can dance, not a dancer who can act, because acting is harder than dancing. And you wouldn't think it is, but it is. And like you can clearly out dance me.

R: Can you sell the role?

M: 80% of the movie is conversation. And then 20% of it is dance. So if you can't hold a conversation, if you can't deliver a line like that, even as good as the dancing is, it's not going to matter. You know what I mean? If you're a good enough dancer, but people are going to want to hear you talk more, then we can shadow the dancing, put you in your best limelight in these moments and then let the professional dancers around you carry the dance aspect of it. You know what I mean?

R: 100%.

M: So acting comes first, and then what you need me to do as the character when it comes to physicality, as long as, like you said, you have the will to be competitive and to learn and adapt quick and learn quick, and I have to be told things twice and you're willing to work at it. Those things can happen a lot quicker for you than, hey, you have to go learn how to deliver a line. That takes time to build a character and learn that, you know what I mean?

R: Yeah, I wanted my best just to, I think that that's the key to success in anything, to be honest. Stay open to people that are way more knowledgeable about whatever you're trying to get into, and I just happen to be blessed to be around some of the greatest dancers of all time.

M: Facts.

R: And again, shout out to my brother.

M: Thank you, man, I appreciate that. That's love, man.

R: So, it's like, yeah, man, I've had a great opportunity to be surrounded by some incredible individuals, and my success is partly because of them. So, yeah.

M: You know, you're on 9-1-1, what, nine months of the year, right? And then when you're off, you go shoot a movie real quick in a week, and so you're always trying to stay working. Do you find time to go watch film? Like, do you watch movies? Do you go watch, you go to the theater?

R: All the time. Yeah, I try to. Yeah, because I mean, I feel like I'm just starting, to be honest. I didn't call my, I've said this in so many other interviews. I didn't call myself an actor for the longest time, just because I felt like so many other people were more talented than me. And again, I was going off the basis, like I'm just gonna outwork you. And to this day, I've only had one acting lesson, like one acting class.

So I'm not pulling from the stereotypical thing or what most actors would come from, that background. So I'm like, this is gonna be degrading to hear, this man comes out of nowhere, doesn't want class, and gets all these jobs.

M: With some Will Smith shit.

R: Yeah, I can't do that to these individuals, these artists. So let me just shut up about my stuff and do my thing. And it wasn't until a couple years ago, my boy Kenny Choi, who's on 9-1-1, straightened me out and gave me some wise words. And he's since then been my voice of reason in this whole acting game. And has handed me books that I've been reading and learning. So, yes, it's been a process. So like, I always stay open to new movies, to new act—like Austin Butler is killing things right now. Shia LaBeouf has always been on his game.

M: Directing game, you say.

R: Just in general, like these individual artists have this captivating, you know, sense of who they are as an actor, that when you see them on a big screen, their minimal movement allows you to be like, engaged. Oh my God.

M: For sure.

R: So that's what you really want to study is like, you know, how do I encapsulate that in my own way? And then how can I continue to build each time? What I love, like an actor like Robert Downey Jr. who's had a successful career since he was young, and he's still getting better. Like, he does roles now that we've never seen him do. And just like, how you still kind of outdoing yourself, that's the type of artist I want to be.

M: Just continue to build and try to find new ways to adapt and bring on new characters. So with that, so going back to you watching film, movie of the year.

R: Movie of the year...

M: And there's a right answer, don't fuck this up.

R: Movie of the year, I don't know if I have a movie of the year.

M: I watch this movie every day, Cause of Zo, but continue.

R: Cause of Zo?

M: Yeah.

R: Oh man, so you're going kid movie? No?

M: You would think.

R: Damn, um...I loved Everything Everywhere All at Once. To be honest, it was so outlandish, it was crazy.

M: That last year too though?

R: That was last year too. So this year?

M: Yeah. I mean, I mean,

R: I don't know.

M: It's already July.

R: Yeah. To be honest, I don't know. Nothing, nothing pops into my mind.

M: Dang, you heard it here first. Ryan thinks every movie that came out this year is trash.

R: I've been more in the TV shows, to be honest.

M: Okay, so which TV show?

R: The Bear.

M: The Bear?

R: The Bear is incredible.

M: Okay.

R: Yeah. Have you seen it?

M: Nah, I saw Cocaine Bear. That was crazy.

R: Nah, not that one. The Bear is on the second season or third season.

M: Okay.

R: Third? Yeah. And just the cinematography alone is top tier, but the acting itself is incredible.

M: I'm gonna peep it up.

R: Yeah, Shogun was amazing. I don't know if you've seen that one.

M: Which one?

R: Shogun.

M: Shogun. Okay. Nah, I haven't seen it. I know what it is, though.

R: Shogun is incredible. But those kind of like… I think a lot of what we thought was back in the day, I'm talking about like you, you know, the movie star or TV star, they blended this now with the whole streaming services. So we're seeing a lot of movie stars go into television.

M: Yeah.

R: They're telling what they couldn't do in two-hour movie or three-hour movie into a full-length series, and that's why I kind of lead more towards the series.

M: No, I feel like that's a lot of people's goals right now, because first off, when people like—I couldn't tell you their actor names right now, but when the three leads in Big Bang Theory started banging out a million dollars an episode, and then you go for 15 seasons of 15 to 20 episodes per season, like that's… Yeah, let's do that.

You know what I mean? Let's do that. I could see why being a lead in a TV series that pushes the, you know, Grey's Anatomy of the world and like all of those people who just keep banging out seasons and then you forget the show even exists, but there's enough fans out there to make season 36 for no reason because there's still money coming in.

Like that's the ultimate goal in longevity in this kind of… You know what I mean? As far as finances go anyway, and like being able to hold a character with so much value for so long.

R: Yeah, that's why I have so much gratitude towards 9-1-1.

M: Being Eddie, yeah.

R: Yeah, man. I mean, we're on our eighth season and we're kind of a dying breed, to be honest, as a procedural. There's not too much of procedural is out right now that are successful and making the numbers that we are. So again, to the crew and the cast that create this show, it's just like we've been on cloud nine. And I feel like most of us now that have been here for the long haul have depth now in that gratitude.

So, yeah, to your point, yeah, man, and like having longevity is everything you need. And then having the ability to kind of like step outside and do a movie every now and then. You know, Angela Bassett, bro, like, I'm working with one of the top actresses in the world. And then I get to go play some other actress-Rosario Dawson. I'm literally living in my dream. And it's a pinch me moment all the time. So, yeah.

M: All right. So my favorite movie of the year.

R: What was it?

M: And I want you to find a way to be a part of the third one. Somehow, someway, Godzilla x Kong: New Empire.

R: That was it?

M: Did you see it?

R: I saw Godzilla Minus One, which was incredible.

M: Yes, but not bro. Kong, Godzilla, some epic shit. First of all, one of my favorite like movie. Maybe I just like Gorillas, bro. Maybe I see what it is because I love the Planet of the Apes series.

R: Oh, that was a good one too, yeah.

M: You know what I mean? I mean, they just dropped a new one that was OK. I think it's because of the lack of the Caesar character not being in this one. Maybe just kind of threw me a little bit. But the other three, I just love that shit, right? But Kong x Godzilla from…And I watched a lot of BTS and how they wrote it and what they wanted to do with it. They made Godzilla thinner, more agile, diving in the shit, doing the most. Kong got a gray beard because he's getting old, bro.

R: So the aesthetics got you.

M: Yeah, the way they're building it and the connection between it, but then the way they got the action of them teaming up and fighting the other shit was bugged. The characters behind it, the way they—I don't know, bro. I'm gonna send you a BTS video. And I had you tap in because I think you could find it on Amazon Prime. That's where I watch it. But Zo asked for it every day, every single day. And I bought him the toys and he just got some toys he watches and he does the thing. But I'm super into it. I fucking loved it.

R: I'll check it out just because you said.

M: You're welcome. You're welcome.

R: Alright. Yeah, but the Godzilla Minus One was nice.

M: It was. It was.

R: It brought you back to the actual like rendition, first rendition.

M: Yeah, where it's less about Godzilla and it's more about the character.

R: Them being scared of this massive ass lizard walking around killing people. Yeah.

M: Yeah. Could you imagine like some real life shit having titans in this world? Even if like you're not by it, but you know that they're there.

R: No amount of martial arts, no amount of, like, weaponry can help you.

M: There's nothing.

R: No, you just got to sit back and watch this thing.

M: Find a bunker.

R: Yeah, bro. I'm digging a big asshole in the earth.

M: Huge.

R: Yeah. And I'm putting my family and friends in it.

M: 100%.

R: Yeah. That sounds bad, but I'm going to make a bunker.

M: Yeah. I'm going to get a hole and put my friends in it. Yeah. [talking to someone off camera] I'm going have you grab that. Can you grab that for me, bro? That paper and that metal thing.

Okay. So me and Ryan are about to do something a little fun, but at the same time, I'm going to ask him some fan questions. So this segment of the show is going to be on Patreon. So go to patreon.com/lnlpod to see the extended version and catch this part of the show. Go right now.

[PATREON Q&A. APPROX 15 MINUTES]

R: [talking about the film The Present and the advice costar Isla Fisher gave him.] You know, I thought it was funny and I thought it was, you know, really quality stuff. So it showed me that like, yeah, what she's saying is correct. I need to believe in myself a little bit more. Even having a 14-year successful career, I think people should understand that I didn't feel that for the longest time. I did not believe in myself and I felt like I was always again, trying to outwork the individual. Since I put in so much work already, I kind of need to sit back and realize and let it sit in and take advantage of it and shout out to her and many other individuals that allow me to kind of reflect on that.

M: Bro, like people, 14 years is a lot. And I know we compare ourselves to those we look up to and we go, they've been successful for 40 years. They've done this, that, and third. Until I'm that, I ain't shit, which ain't true because you got to remember that that's the 1% of the industry. To have that kind of success. You know what I mean? Having a 14-year career, where you have multiple projects, people would dream to do one of them and never get the chance to do. Their entire resume is extras on set for things.

R: Yeah.

M: You know what I mean? Or just praying, like, I hope they give me one line, so I can say I acted in this movie.

R: Yeah.

M: You know what I mean?

R: Yeah.

M: So like, from going from Step Up to Boy Next Door to 9-1-1 and everything in between, and even some of the smaller stuff you've done and the bigger stuff you've done, these are all things that you gotta be proud of, man.

R: I got you, thank you.

M: You gotta be proud of, because one is leaf-frogging you to the next, you know what I mean? And you don't have to feel like it's a fresh start every single time, because you know that what got you there is the past and everything that you presented yourself in before.

R: Yeah.

M: You know what I mean?

R: Yeah. Thank you for that. I take that. And again, when I do get stuff like this now, I try to take it a little differently than I would before. I mean, beforehand, I probably would have been like, oh, thank you so much, you know that. And I still not think that way. But right now, I'm really allowing that to marinate the individual, so I appreciate what you say. Thank you.

M: Yeah, no, fuck it. I mean, you got to respect yourself enough to be like—know that there's so much more I can do and so much more room to grow. And that's the exciting part. But I'm not going to pretend like I ain't done shit in my life either. I'm not going to pretend like my resume is not something about, you know what I mean? Like I've done some cool shit. And I feel you, and same with dance, man. Like there's, when someone books me on a job or as a choreographer or brings me out to a country to teach. And sometimes I sit there and I get like…

R: Imposter syndrome?

M: Imposter syndrome, where I'm just like, man, do I even deserve to be on this lineup with these other hitters? And I'm like, yeah, because they wouldn't have asked me to be here, bro.

R: Yes, you do.

M: They wouldn't have asked me to do this if like I wasn't. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like they spent all this money on me to bring me out to this country to do all this with all these people. Like they see me in line with these people for a reason. Why the fuck don't I? You know what I mean? So like, I hear you. But then you got to remind yourself.

R: Sometimes it takes somebody else outside to really acknowledge that and then you to hear that. Because I remember when I first met you, I'd already known about your dancing. I've seen plenty of videos. And I don't know if you remember when I came up to you. I was like, bro, I'm a huge fan.

M: Yeah.

R: Yeah.

M: Yeah.I introduced myself and you're like, I know who you are. I was like, pssst.

R: Like, nah, bro, I know exactly what you are in. Like, it shows, like, you know, like to get to where you are in your dance, and it takes years upon years, but also you have to find your own little niche, your own little style, and you did. And that style has resonated with so many other individuals. So again, giving you your flowers back, it's just like, yeah, man, I would like to recognize what you offer to this whole artistic spectrum in the dance community.

M: Yo, thank you, man. That's fucking love, man. I really appreciate that kind of shit. You don't hear it too much and you get in your head a lot. But from one friend to another, man, if you need that reminder, man, you call me.

R: I appreciate that, bro.

M: You call me.

R: That's what we need to show more of, man. You know, like, man, helping each other out, you know. A lot of us, I feel like, and I've spoken on this on plenty of other platforms. It's just like we got toughen up. And to an extent, yeah, I get that. You know, you do have to be tough as a man.

M: Time and place.

R: And time and place. But like you also have to have your brothers to to open up to it, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we all got here as a community. No one got here by themselves. So, yeah, you know-

M: And we gonna stay there as a community.

R: Exactly. The stronger your community, the stronger you'll be.

M: All the most successful dancers, actors in the world, people you look up to, all have teams that have been together since the jump. You know what I mean?

R: All right, let me see this.

M: All right, all right, all right. So before we reveal these, we're back from the Patreon. All right, we back in the episode. We're going to wrap this up here. What we did on Patreon is we got a sketchbook and he drew me and I drew him while we did some fan questions. So we're going to reveal these pictures as the last little segment before we head out.

Before we show these pictures, I just want to give a quick sign off. Everybody, please join the Patreon and enjoy that. Spotify, Apple Podcast, please give a five-star review and check out the other seven episodes and keep an eye out for Season Two that's coming.

If you're on YouTube, like, subscribe, all of that, comment, share with your mom and your grandmama, all them peoples. Spread the word. We want to make Season Two even bigger and better and keep bringing y'all quality. Keep an eye out for The Lab between me and Ryan because it is a special project, but it is a big project. It's gonna take some time. He's back filming 9-1-1, so it might take some time.

We're gonna write some things together. We're not gonna tell you the idea because we don't want none of y'all biting it because we know how y'all get. But it's a pretty good concept. It's a really good idea. It's gonna be a short film that involves comedy, acting and dancing. And we've already been chopping it up about it.

So keep an eye out for that, but it's gonna take some time. Be patient. But the more Patreon members, the more money that comes in, the bigger the budget is gonna be, and the better we can make the project. So please show love. We appreciate it. Ryan, anything you want to say before we head out?

R: Man, all love to you and all love to this, that you cultivated yourself, man, and everybody that watches this. I hope you are thriving in all the dreams that you choose to give your energy to.

M: Thank you, man. All right. Enough of that talk, man. All right. Me first, you first?

R: I go first.

M: You go first? Yeah, yeah, all right, all right, all right. Damn! Alright, you get close up, get close up. Yeah.

R: Yeah, mine was a quick sketch, so I couldn't put too much detail to it.

M: Just a quick little whatever, man. Oh, shit.

R: Yeah, yeah.

M: Yeah, you kept it small. I should have made mine smaller. Probably would have been cleaner.

R: Yeah.

M: Yeah. I'm keeping that. Don't throw it out. And you got to keep this one, too. It's better to go in the fridge.

R: I put it in my refrigerator, yeah.

M: Bro, so when Mateo [Ryan's son] asked who drew that, he knows, what's up, Uncle Mikey rocked this, all right?

R: Hey, you captured my facial hair. In the… In my little swoop. Am I swooping right now? Yeah, you got my swoop.

M: I caught the swoop.

R: Yeah, the mic looks like a mic.

M: Yeah, you know, it's mic-ish.

R: I appreciate your effort.

M: Yeah. Oh, come on, it's not that bad.

R: Why I look like Joe Campbell?

M: I made the head a little long. Your head is not this long. I didn't have an eraser.

R: Yeah, me neither, bro.

M: No, whatever. All right, well, I'm going to let you keep this. Yeah, you can put it.

R: Let me sign this for you, too.

M: Yeah, yeah, sign that. Sign that. You know, I have a picture in my bathroom. It's a lion. It's a drawn lion from 98. It's beautiful. My uncle did it. Yeah. He was an artist back in the day and like used to draw a lot of shit and he framed it and gave it to me. His name is Matthew DellaVella.

R: Okay.

M: He signed it "M. DellaVella"

R: M. DellaVella. So technically you're an artist.

M: I've been taking full credit for that painting and that drawing since I was a child.

R: Clearly, you made that painting.

M: People go into my bathroom when they use it, when they visit and they go, yo, that's, I saw, and you drew that? Yeah, man, like it's a long time ago. I don't really do that anymore, but it was fun back in the day.

R: So I need to get a frame for this, to be honest.

M: Yeah, you should, man. This is cold. This is, man, my mic is better.

R: Yeah, your mic is better.

M: Well, I did a mic stand, so I got the arm.

R: You got the arm for sure.

M: Yeah, yeah.

R: Yeah.

M: Yeah, no, this is quite lovely. This is quite lovely, Ryan. Thank you.

R: I appreciate that, bro.

M: Thank you my boy. Love you bro.

[lightlycareless]

saw this and immediately thought of naoya after discovering y/n’s favorite pokemon.

Heya!!!

First of all, thank you so much for sending this adorable ask omg hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it's literally perfect because I always write that Y/N is like, obsessed with Gengar 😂 so it wouldn't be surprising that she had something like this.

And secondly, I apologize for taking a while to come back to you! I tend to reply to asks in the order they come, or which one is easier for me to write at the moment, either way, I'm still grateful for your ask ❤️❤️❤️

I hope what I wrote is enough to make up for the wait :> happy reading!

warnings: none. fluff. naoya is jealous OF A PLUSHIE.

Naoya absolutely hated getting you that Gengar.

He was all for it though, at first at least. Because to him, this represented nothing but an easy way to gain more of your affection, his mind envisioning something like this (let’s say he took you to a date to the fair):

“I win Y/N a plushie. It’s her favorite plushie. She’s happy I got her the plushie. She kisses me for winning her the plushie. She marries me because I got her the plushie. We have kids because I got her the plushie.”

A win-win situation, right?

Well, up to the kissing part it was—because as soon as you grab Gengar, it’s like Naoya completely disappeared from your life.

There’s not a single moment you’re not with it, whether keeping you company by the couch when watching a movie, in the backseat whenever driving to the city, waiting by the futon while you come out of a shower… or even dressing it up with silly hats and hair clips, because why not.

However, the worst part wouldn’t come from any of those things. No—as frustrating as they were, Naoya was still capable of tolerating them, to some degree at least.

The bane of his existence would appear the moment he realized that not even when laying next to you after a long day of work did that stupid Gengar leave you alone!

Breaking his heart when you’d cuddle the damn plushie instead of him.

That’s when Naoya really began to have issues with it.

It got so bad, that he even considered getting rid of it—have it magically disappear, imply that maybe one of the staff members accidentally threw it into the trash, or you forgot it somewhere, highly possible since you essentially take it everywhere you go!!

And Ranta, as always, would be the voice of reason, telling him that doing such a thing was nothing short of highly inappropriate, and if you get to know the truth, his relationship with you would be critically affected.

“So??? It’s not like she’s actually going to leave me if I do that, you know?!” Naoya would cry, genuinely believing his words… but Ranta’s worried face quickly made him reconsider. “…Right?”

Well, that’s something he doesn’t want to figure out.

Thus, proof of his devotion to you and commitment to the relationship, Naoya decides to handle things like adults and bring up the issues he’s been having with your precious Gengar to you.

Learning the innocent reason why you were so attached to it…

“—I always wanted one, since I was a child. But my parents said no, because I already had too many toys. And I never saw it again… until that day at the fair. It’s like I went back in time to being a kid.”

In other words, you were doing all the things you would’ve loved to do if your parents had gotten you the Gengar. Besides…

“You got this for me without even asking, how could I not cherish something so romantic?!”

Naoya naturally feels like absolute shit when you tell him the truth—internally scolding himself for even considering getting rid of it in the first place!!         

So, after giving you a thousand apologies in forms of kisses, Naoya, in true Naoya fashion decides to also make it up to you by gifting you even more plushies of the same character—different sizes, different models, it didn’t matter, he just wants you to have them all.

Leading you to put a stop to him, because it was straight up ridiculous at that point!

Either way, this happening would go down as a funny story you’d be more than happy to share with your children when the time comes, slightly embarrass him by showing off his highly protected softness, if he hadn’t demonstrated the same to them by then…

Or maybe set up that Gengar “shrine” you always wanted to do just to spite Gojo, show him which franchise is far superior through your devotion, and rub it in his face.

He’s no longer a competitor when it comes to overindulging anymore, and Naoya is more than happy to give you the upper hand.

I actually have a huge Gengar my cousin got for me last year in my birthday. was it worth it? yes. have people expressed their... consideration to steal it? yes. will I protect it with my life? I'm already training my cat to join me in this crusade. lmao

anyways, I hope you like this little snippet :> Naoya always has to take it to the extremes, but he's learning to be better, and it's safe to say that at one point, it's all well-intended 🤭

thank you so much for sending in this ask! take care, and hope to see you soon ❤️

[sunshinestardrop]

Time for another fun daydream Ive had

Degrees of Lewdity this time because my mind is going crazy:

(May mess up genders a little bit, I play randomized with them)

So starts out the usual. MC has to start paying Baily and shit and the world sucks and all that. MC starts throwing themselves into a new job all the while trying to avoid the hell that is the town (Also im not too deep into the lore but I have a HC that all the fucked up townspeople wait until the orphans are 18 and stuff which is somehow both better and even more fucked up because imagine knowing some kids birthday just so you can fuck them (didnt people use to do that with kid celebrities too))

Overarching plot is:

MC works their ass off to make the orphanage better for all the orphans. Where MC cannot pay off all their debts as much as they wish they could, instead MC starts to teach the orphans about finances and how to make and keep money. MC eventually becomes a sort of 'bookie' for the orphans in the sense they're the only one that the others trust to handle money, and MC works their ass off to keep everything stable. MC encourages skulduggary and sort of sets up a ''honor among thieves' with the orphans where they watch each other to make sure they're not stealing from other orphans because they’re all trying to survive. Towns people are free to steal from tho.

During this time MC catches Baileys attention even more and (After the Avery gambling incident) Bailey starts having MC work for them keeping records of the actual orphanage’s money. Coincidentally this also leads to MC learning about some of the less than legal dealings Bailey has been doing with the orphanage’s money (and sometimes it seems like Bailey wants them to know more, almost like they’re preparing MC for something)

As MC delves deeper into the corrupt work, they start to take a more active part in dismantling it. When the big climax hits MC is at their lowest- broken to a point they feel unable to fix- and go for a full kamikaze move.

So here's the thing, there's like one part of the dialogue from the cafe about two out of towners coming because there's a rumor about how they can SA anyone they want to and not get in trouble there. I took that as a "so there’s something wrong with JUST this town" and ran with it.  MC, with this knowledge, get’s themselves SA’ed by the most prominent figures in town, Leighton, the mayor and shit like that, and then hitchhikes themselves out of town to another one where they get a r*pe kit tested. When it comes back there’s a full-on investigation of the entire town with MC as a sort of Mole with a microphone attached.

This leads to another gambling event- this time MC coming with Bailey instead of Avery- with MC bugged. All the prominent people are there and MC- since most of them assume MC is broken now- pretty much prepares to get SAed again. There’s a moment where MC and Baily are alone in a room, and Bailey finds the bug on MC--

--MC thinks they’re done for and that all their suffering was for nothing, but instead Bailey very calmly places the bug under Their (Baileys) shirt (which seems weird but it’s a better option, if MC were to get SAed again then the bug would be discovered, and Bailey is more likely to get better evidence as they are more trusted then MC) and heads back inside. MC follows and they collect the final- damning- evidence.

Other significant events I have are:

MC gets kidnapped by Kylar. It's awful at first and Kylar is desperate. MC eventually gets free from their bindings and tries to escape the house but is chased back by Kylar's parents. Here is where they learn about whatever the hell is wrong with them and starts to feel kind of bad. Eventually PC is released (prolly with a little bit of Stockholm syndrome) but is now concerned about Kylar and whatever the hell is happening to his family (And also with a better understanding of why he's so fucked up)

Which leads to MC making a deal with Ivory Wrath (Which they still don’t know anything about, just riding on hope at this point) to save his parents. Somehow, it works. A few days later MC runs into Kylar panicked and cared begging MC for help because something happened to his parents. MC rushes with him home to find his parents unconscious but looking better. Almost normal. MC starts to work on getting them into bed and helping them get better. Kylar is useless so MC takes charge and orders him to do stuff as they care for his parents.

As time goes on the parents finally wake up. And they’re back to themselves- shaken but normal- and MC talks calmly to them and explains how they’re Kylars friend. It’s implied that the parents vaguely know what happened but also like its all muddled. Kylar comes in at some point—

And his parents have no idea who he is.

So the idea is that kylar is FTM trans. Playing into the whole idea of him already feeling isolated and alone in this hellhole. Anxiety made it that he never thought he could transition with his parents, so when they started to change he choose to finally transition because, eventho he wanted to act like everything was fine, Kylar knew they weren’t all there and couldn’t protest.

Shit eventually get’s resolved but it takes time. MC checks up on them often.

Robin

MC gets caught up in shit. First with Robin and seeing them struggling with making money and tries to gently nudge them to get a better job at first, but when that doesn’t work (And probably after running into Whitney a few times which sparks this idea) they start to 'tough love' them and demand Robin gets a better job. Practically throwing him into the cafes doors to get him to work there.

That works well, until robin gets fired for refusing to be abused or something (the usual) but by this time MC has enough supplies to set up a booth to see their wares. MC hires robin to work there so they can work else where telling robin they will pay them per hr (Which isn’t fully true, they give Robin commission based on what Robin sells- taking a good chunk out of MCs savings but they want Robin to be ok and this is the only way they know how)

MC and robins’ relationship would mirror Baileys and the entire orphanages. An implication that MC could become what bailey is if they choose to do so.

Eden:

Playing around with some more ideas. Eden was originally an orphan too, which to me makes sense seeing as theyre distrustful of everyone and live off the grid. I also HC Eden and Bailey were probably orphans together (Bailey perpetuating the cycle of abuse and Eden choose to run from it) which is why Bailey knows Eden.

MC and Eden bond over the orphan thing. And MC makes a point to visit Eden as often as possible. This will probably be useful story wise if I can ever flesh it out enough where MC goes missing for a long time and Eden has to go to Bailey to find me- this would lead to rekindling Baileys and Eden old relationship/friendship/whatever the fuck it was they had when they were both orphans and leads to a better understanding of Baileys character.

General idea: where eden chose physical isolation after what they went through, bailey choose emotional isolation. Maybe they were in love? Fuck if I know.

Sydney:

Honestly in my mind I focus more on their parent- Sirris.

And I wanted to focus on a parent that is aware of the shit happening in the town but is also willing to let it happen as long as its not their kid. It’s a sort of situation where Sirris has a vague idea of how bad shit is but doesn’t make the full connection of how BAD it is unless they’re forced to face it head on. Living in denial thing.

As MC gets closer with Sydney Sirris is forced to see what kind of hell scape this is for the orphans first hand, and now that they personally know a child suffering from it, it becomes harder to ignore. There’s also grappling with the option to keep Sydney blind to the awful things happening to everyone in the town or to let Sydney understand whats going on- this also leads to a whole “I don’t want my kid to grow up and go where I can’t protect them, but I also want my child to become a good person/adult which means they may have to face hardships that I’m not ready for them to face”

And then there begs the question of how long a good person can turn a blind eye to others sufferings until they stop being a good person? It seems like a fun thing to explore.

Ivory Wraith:

(Forgive me, havent gotten deep into their lore yet)

MC is pretty scared of IW throughout the story. IW is an imposing figure that seems like the supposed ‘God’ in this town that has their eyes set on MC. Shockingly, MC dose not steal the neck-less like they do in game, instead it’s just there one day after another bad encounter with IW. MC cannot remove the neck-less and IW still comes to them every night on the red moon. No harm is done, but all they do is watch.

MC eventually gets it into their delusional head that IW takes a liking to them for their purity and intends to keep it that way- fearing what may happen if they upset IW. Once the final overarching plot is done MC makes their way back to the lake and begs for IWs forgiveness for not being able to stay pure.

But IW does not come, instead a person appears from the water. Similar in appearance but no longer carrying the same ethereal feel that IW did. MC asks who they are, but they don’t remember. Both sit in silence for a long time after, unsure of what to do.

The idea is that MC had this huge image of IW in their mind as a god- similar to the townspeople had of whatever god they believed in (Which may be IW?) – and in the end IW just turns out to be another human fallen victim,  now with nothing to their name just like how MC started out.

And… that’s all I got for now, seems like a fun story line to come up with.

[vodika-vibes]

How to Get Away With Murder

Summary: When Commander Fox burst into your office before lunch one day, you think that he's coming to steal you away for a midday rendezvous, as per the norm for your relationship. But he has something else up his sleeve.

Pairing: Commander Fox x Reader

Word Count: 1124

Warnings: Uh, some generally decent people planning murder

Tagging: @trixie2023

A/N: I was feeling the urge to write Fox, so I did. Also, today I learned the difference between a hit and an assassination. An assassination is always politically or religiously motivate. A hit is just a murder.

Divider by Saradika

Commander Fox, the love of your life, leans across your desk, a shit eating grin on his handsome face, and you can’t help but think that his time working under Palpatine finally caused him to crack. Of course, that’s also assuming that he wasn’t a little bit cracked when he first came to Coruscant. Which, knowing him, he probably was.

You lean back in your chair and eye your Commander warily, “Why are you in such a good mood?” 

“I have a brilliant idea.”

“Whatever it is, I don’t want to be involved,” You reply immediately, seeing as his brilliant plans tend to involve a degree of risk that you’re not sure you like or not.

Of course, you seem to be physically unable to say no to Fox.

He leans back in the other chair, his wide grin turning into a smug smirk, “Yeah, you do.”

You mentally curse him, and rest your chin on the palm of your hand, “Fine. What’s the plan?”

“We’re going to kill the Supreme Chancellor.” Fox replies blithely. 

“Is…isn’t that treason?” You ask. Tellingly, that’s your only concern.

“They can elect another one. One that isn’t corrupt. Like you.” Fox replies, and then he hops to his feet and walks around your desk and pulls you to your feet, intentionally tugging you so that you’re flush against him, “It’ll be fun~” He coos right in your ear.

You shiver, and then tilt your head back so you’re able to look right in his eyes, “Murder isn’t fun.”

“It is if you do it right.” He grins and presses a quick kiss to your lips, “Come on, babe. We have work to do.” Fox takes your unprotesting hand and pulls you out of your office, “Besides, if we do this right, then me and my brothers get rights, and I can finally stop listening to Thorn bitch over the fact that he can’t kiss his girlfriend.”

“Wait,” You hurry to keep up with his much longer legs, “Thorn has a girlfriend?”

“Yup. But he can never see her because the Chancellor is an abusive asshole.” Fox replies.

“Then how do you have time to come and see me?” You ask as you half jog to keep up with him.

“You, cyare, are a senator. Which means I can just walk my happy ass into your office and take what I need.” Fox replies with a small smirk.

“I wish you wouldn’t say it like that,” You grumble.

“Am I wrong?”

“No. I just wish you wouldn’t say it in such a disgusting way.” You reply.

He laughs, a warm sound that never fails to make you smile at him like a lovesick schoolgirl. Fox favors you with a smile that he reserves for you and you alone, and then he opens a door and tugs you into a well lit, buzzing, room. “Okay, I’m back.”

You look around the room and fight the urge to hide behind Fox. There are a lot of big names in the room.

Aside from you, a relatively small-time senator from a backwater planet no one in the Republic actually cares about, there’s also Senators Organa, Mothma, Amidala, and Chuchi. All three of them are rather big names, and you feel very out of place. 

Aside from the four senators, there are also Generals Kenobi, Koon, and Windu in the room…plus their respective Commanders.

“Senator,” Senator Organa greets you with a kind smile, the same way your father greets you whenever you go home to help out on the family farm, “Forgive me! Had I known that you were a believer in our cause, I would have invited you myself.”

Fox guides you over to an empty chair, a smug grin on his lips, and you shoot him a look, which only makes his grin more smug. “This cause being the assassination of the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic?” You ask, very dryly.

“Assassination is such an ugly word,” Senator Amidala says lightly.

“Oh. Is there another term used for the politically based murder of a specific person?” You ask.

“We’re doing it for a good cause.” General Kenobi says patiently.

“It’s still called an assassination.” You point out.

“You’re not incorrect,” General Windu interjects, “Does it bother you?”

“No. I’m the one who has to patch up Fox after a bad day. But I was just going to poison him, so-”

Fox chokes down a laugh, “You’re amazing and I don’t deserve you.”

“So long as you know, darling.” You lean back in your seat, and Fox’s gloved fingers brush against the back of your neck, “I assume there’s a plan?”

“There is, but we need the Guard outside of the senate building.” General Koon says quietly, “And we’re not sure how to do that.”

“Oh, I can take care of that.” You say with a tilt of your head, “Easy.”

“How are you going to do that?” Senator Chuchi asks, “Without alerting Palpatine-?”

You smile serenely at her and pull your comm out of your purse. You pause, and tilt your head back to look up at Fox, “How big of a riot do you need?”

Fox frowns thoughtfully, “To empty the Corrie barracks and the Senate building? A couple thousand.”

You send a series of messages, and you get responses almost immediately, “Uhh…how does seven thousand sound?”

“You can really get that many people?” Fox asks as he leans over your shoulder.

“Yeah. There are a lot of anti-war, anti-government protestors who are happy to riot at the drop of the hat.” 

“I’m sorry, how do you know these people?” General Kenobi asks.

“Uh…the best way to enact change is from the inside?” You admit with a grin.

“How many protests have you personally set up?” Senator Mon Mothma asks with a sharp glare.

“I’m not answering that question on the grounds that I don’t want to, and also you’re in here planning the assassination of the Supreme Chancellor, so maybe you shouldn’t cast stones while in a glass house.” You send another series of messages, “And…done. You have three hours to come up with a good plan, because that’s when the riots start.”

Senator Organa grins at you, “When we’re done with all of this, kid, you and I need to have a conversation.”

“Uh…I suddenly feel like I’ve been called to the principal’s office.” You mutter under your breath.

Fox laughs softly and presses a light kiss to the top of your head, “Don’t worry so much, cyare. Everything is going to be fine.”

And you relax as the much older people in the room start debating. If Fox says everything is going to be fine, then it has to be true. Fox isn’t a liar after all.

[feroshgirlsims]

Chapter 2.5 - Happenstance

“My kingdom for a way less boring secret cult,” Alice mutters.

“What?” Miko frowns but keeps her voice low enough not to echo. 

The Secret Society members haven’t done much of anything besides huddle in small groups and talk. Alice and Miko have been sitting on pins and needles for over an hour. 

“I know you think I’m crazy and don’t have a plan,” Alice starts.

“I hate to break it to you,” Miko replies, “But you don’t. You think if you get straight As and a distinguished mark on your final project, it will be enough to get you over the hump. But the review panel awards that to projects that offer ‘groundbreaking editorial commentary through art.’”

“I know! You don’t think I know that?” 

“No, I don’t think you do,” she hisses. “I love you, Alice, you’re my best friend. But you have no idea how any of this will turn out. You are betting your entire degree on an exhibition about a bunch of undergrads in costume. Students who pull off distinguished marks work on their projects for years, not months.” 

“I know!”

“Then why are you doing this?” she prods. “You could delay graduation; take the time you need to actually get your GPA up.”

Just the thought of hanging around an extra semester sends Alice’s pulse racing. She bites down on her lip so hard she tastes blood. “I can’t.”

“Oh, Alice...”

“If I don’t do it, then Jeffery’s right: I am stupid, and I was lucky that he was willing to take care of me because I obviously can’t do it myself.” The words shame her so much she wants to curl up in a ball. Alice shakes her head to clear it. “I don’t mean that. I’m just…I don’t mean that.” 

Miko climbs to her feet and scowls as she offers a hand. “That man hit you.”

“I know what he did. I was there. And I don’t want to go back.” She takes the hand, letting Miko pull her to her feet. 

“Good. And your weirdos are starting to do something more than talk, so let’s get this party started.” 

Alice strips off her sweatshirt and stuffs it into her backpack so she can move freely. Then, out comes her camera.

Click. She snaps pictures as the sims in robes begin to twirl, their bodies curving and sensuous, almost—

—ecstatic.

Click. A low hum builds as the robed figures speed up, their bodies bending and snapping in unnatural ways.

Was it some kind of yoga? Alice started taking classes during rehab in hopes it would help her calm down, but she never learned any shit like this. She pauses to check the battery on her camera.

“We have to go,” Miko croaks.

“What do you mean?” Alice looks up, but what she sees doesn’t make any sense. Those sims can’t be floating. And where is that light coming from? Was it always there?

“Alice! Seriously! We gotta move!” Miko tugs at her arm, jolting her back to reality. 

Right, the correct thing to do when the weird cult you’re stalking starts chasing you is run. 

PREV | NEXT

[teecupangel]

Desmond as the plague doctor in AC? Like, he time traveled, and really was just done with everyone's shit. Also, he's burnt to a crisp, like he fell into a fire and shriveled up like a prune. So he kinda needs a good disguise to hide... everything. So he steals a plague doctors mask and robes to hide in plain sight.

Then people start coming to him with money and wounds. They tell him that they've been told to do 'blood letting' and they need him to do it, which makes Desmond fly into an explanation that "no that's really dumb, what he needs is water and clean bandages. The fuck makes you think losing more blood would make it better?' and eventually, when his 'crazy' ideas actually begin to work, people start to come to him for more life threatening things. And eventually he becomes known as a miracle worker.

Then Ezio stumbles across him...

Let's just say, shenanigans ensue

This ask reminded me of @wolfofartblock’s idea of a plague doctor!Desmond AU and I think they would work well together?

Like, it would definitely be shenanigans to the highest degree if Ezio stumbled across him wounded and in need of dire medical attention and it’s not like Desmond could freaking not do anything.

After that, Ezio starts becoming a regular, less because he was interested in these so-called ‘revolutionary’ medical practices that ‘has gotten a lot of doctors’ metaphorical feathers ruffled’ which was interesting, yes, but what was more interesting was that he saw what was hidden behind the mask and that’s why he keeps coming back.

To catch another glimpse.

All the while, Desmond just wants to stay under the radar but, goddamn it, it was becoming harder and harder to do because he cannot, in his good conscience, let all these ‘bad takes’ continue as it meant people would not be getting the proper care they needed to heal and not die.

At some point, Desmond would have to start writing about his methods in hopes that it would be enough to finally get all these hoity-toitis to finally be better in giving medical care.

Then, then… because of a series of events that includes a lot of people wanting to learn from him, Desmond accidentally becomes a teacher and he can’t really teach in random places so he opens up a small clinic that turns into an unofficial medical school and, at this point, Desmond is also trying to learn actual medical shit because he’s skating by using what he remembers and common sense available to a 21st-century dude like him with the added benefit of remembering some of Shaun’s rants of the many, many ways Ezio could have died by going to the doctor but that’s no longer applicable as his ‘students’ are asking questions and… and…

And…

Holy shit.

Was he an actual doctor now?

Was he an actual instructor???

What. The. Fuck.

[existential-feelings]

(Friendly reminder that everything said in this is fictional, I myself (the creator) am 100% okay, this is joke drama, I am in a stable living condition and everything said besides this little warning is all staged.)

'' So . I would like to come clean about a few things that have been speculating recently . This is honesty . This is going to be me wearing my heart on my sleeve as I talk about what's been going on with me outside of my job . And damn it , if my identity is revealed in the process , I don't care . As long as I give what friends I have left , some closure . ''

'' to explain the . . Images going around , I was staying at a friend's house for the time being . Moneys been really tough for me recently , and I hate going out and asking for assistance with any step of it . He offered for me to stay over , said I wouldn't need to get rid of my cat . . So I took the bait after being convinced . Just until I can get back on my feet and not have debt being dangled above my head . During the night , yes , there was some romance shared between me and the other man , who happened to be a cop . I haven't experienced something like that in years , he was so kind to me , even after learning who I was . I slept on that cops couch , ate his food , you know why ? Because he gave me an opportunity to be in a better living situation until I can afford a better spot on my own . It was the best option I could see to get my pet and myself into a better environment , instead of an apartment building that has a problem with looking clean . ''

'' I never wanted to turn to crime for that extra assistance with rent , but I just could not keep up with the demand for money at the end of each week . I have been working as a cop for the last 5 or so years , I'm balancing that with crime . And no , before more shit starts , I haven't shared , said , or shown anything to anyone . Neither of my occupations really know who I am , and I'd like for it to stay that way . The friends and people I have met through CRIMES are ones I don't think I can ever forget , they're probably the closest thing I will ever have to consider family . And I'm truly , deeply sorry if my actions that night had caused this family to be pulled apart . ''

'' . . . Alright , I'm cutting the ' nice ' bullshit . ' not naming names ' is off the table .''

'' I mean , I do care about this crew at the end of the day , but all this because I actually have a social life ? Hello ? ? Not to fucking mention , you ( you know who you are . ) invaded some guy's apartment security system and somehow found me chilling with him , I wasn't even on the clock . You're actually mental If you think I'm okay with this sort of stalking , , harassment ? ? What would this even be considered . . Anywho , I'd kiss that cloaker a million times over . People are acting like I told this guy everything there is to know about the gang . You know I'm NOTHING like that , for fucks sake , can we use our heads to think ? And y'know , I was snooping around in what files that CRIMES has about me . And , I found a lot of information that I have never admitted to anyone on this job ! Most of it is absolute bull , too ! I'm flattered you thought I had a loving family and got a degree in Harvard . I also found my face , countless times in that whole file all about me ! Ain't that funny , I don't remember sharing photos of me out partying outside of work ? Yet , here those photos are , me in a sparkly black dress . I took these photos on my actual phone , not my work phone . So if this company is so insistent on knowing everything they can get their hands on about one of their best spies , even after I had signed an agreement to only have documented what I approved on , then this company ain't for me ! :) ''

'' and don't worry , I already did you all the favor of deleting the files . I stole a hard drive and input all of my information onto it , you're left with nothing about me , not even my mask design is in that database any more . And y'know , I'd be more than willing to work for Shade and all these other people if a better option wasn't available . I am not on bad terms with anyone who is a part of CRIMES . I'll obviously still be in contact with my friends , that won't change . I do feel bad for whatever trust I have ' broken ' from this , but at the same time , people are gonna have opinions on you no matter what you do . ''

'' this absolute bias bullshit , you have a heister sucking face with a dozer and nobody says shit , but the second a woman goes with a cloaker ? fOr ShAmE ? ? ''

'' I am now working for a much better , human , man that I so happen to be very close with . My inbox will remain open for those who want to still say hello . I think that covers everything I wanted to say , I'm probably gonna quit ! ! 🫶 ''

[raayllum]

I don't know if you've already posted about this, but why do you think Claudia seems to have a strong hatred towards Rayla that she refuses to acknowledge her and refers to her as "their elf" in her reflection short story. Could it stem from Rayla being the catalyst that essentially turns Claudia's world upside-down, or does it stem from a sort of jealousy somehow?

Oh bless, as I was just thinking about Claudia's end of her and Rayla's dynamic (given that she also has more of one, tbh)

I've written metas about Rayla and Claudia's dynamic previously (X, X, X, X) but most of that has been from a Foils perspective rather than an interpersonal one. For that, I'd recommend the fic I co-wrote, "if heaven and hell decide," a S2 divergence where Claudia and Soren don't betray the trio right away at the Moon Nexus, and thereby spend the bulk of the season actually travelling together as a group.

As to your actual point of Claudia's view on Rayla, well, first and foremost:

Rayla is an elf, and that means she's not a Person.

“So are you two… Did I interrupt something? Between you and… your elf?” Claudia asked, lifting her eyebrows slightly. (—Book Two: Sky novelization)

Where Terry and Aaravos are exceptions, likely precisely because they are willing to help Claudia with her goals, Rayla is never anything more than an obstacle, and there is never ever given even a shred of conceivable 'humanity'. This is best seen in her response of her smiling at the prospect of Soren murdering Rayla, citing not even that the girl is an assassin, but that she's an elf (although, with Moonshadow elves, that could easily be one in the same):

It is also most likely, given that Claudia is the one (1) other character we see refer to elves as bloodthirsty (whereas Viren reassures Runaan that his drink is berry juice) that Claudia learned stories about elves from Amaya and then told Callum and/or reaffirmed stories that Callum heard from his aunt.

Never mind in the one (1) interaction they've had, it was Rayla arguing that the dragon egg was a baby who deserved to go back to its mother. Claudia didn't even see or know for sure that Rayla had threatened the boys, and saw that Rayla was speaking with them and only (visibly) drew her swords once Claudia showed up.

Claudia's malleable stakes of what constitutes a person reinforced that while despite definitely knowing Rayla's name (Callum introduces her and says it a few times around Claudia) and knowing Rayla's features well enough to pick up that Lain and Tiadrin are her parents (also makes sense, given that being a dark mage means being able to differentiate and identify a lot of very similar looking components), Claudia never uses Rayla's name. Not once.

Zym, with thoughts and feelings and a name and a mother, is not a person. Magical creatures with lives and cultures and languages and families, families she knows Rayla gives a shit about because that's precisely what she weaponizes against her (comparing it to her love for Terry), are not People to her.

And this all loops back into Claudia's big cognitive dissonance, which is that even when she and Rayla are doing or want the exact same thing, Rayla deserves to suffer and/or be punished for it, because Claudia (in her mind) is a Person with Understandable Good Motivations, and Rayla is not.

Keep in mind that Claudia saw Ezran and then Callum consciously choose to go with Rayla. She saw Callum hesitate and then chain her to a wall, stealing her primal stone without Rayla saying a word. Hell, Ezran is even the one Claudia sees take the lead ("Follow me") that Rayla follows. That kidnapping the princes is literally exactly what Claudia is going to do an episode from now, and while she apologizes, she cites, "I have to do what's right" and when she and Soren are punished upon their homecoming (much like Rayla in S3) with being seen as traitors, Claudia insists, "We didn't do anything wrong!"

Aaravos whispering in her ear takes this up a notch, to the degree that Claudia claims that intergenerational trauma is a uniquely human trait that the elves and dragons couldn't possibly understand:

Which like, dehumanization and being willing to cause suffering generally go hand in hand, both IRL and in the show, so that absolutely tracks. But despite literally being an assassin that she knows killed the king, Claudia never shows the same vitriol towards Runaan. If anything, she seems almost sympathetic in the one scene we see of her with him, even if she also took him for "practical" (dark magic "uses".

So why does she seemingly hate Rayla, then, so specifically? Well...

In season one, losing the egg can't be the boys' fault (they're spelled, they're innocent, they're—) and it can't be Claudia's fault (she's going to get it back, really, just like her dad asked), so it must be Rayla's. She invaded Claudia's home. She stole the boys away. She's the one literally stepping in between her and Zym, between her and her goal, between her and her dad's approval. Absolutely not. This evil elf's braid (however cute) will be her undoing. (The fact that the braid is a symbol of someone who loved Rayla is just the icing on the cake, tbh, symbolically.)

Then in season two, Claudia actually meets Rayla and realizes very quickly that Callum is inordinately Close to her. She's seen them interact twice — Callum, noticing that Rayla is missing in the middle of the night, running to her aid, and being in defensive stance for her, not Claudia and Soren; Callum and Rayla sitting closely on a bed, Rayla looking like she's about to nervously confess something while Callum listens patiently, regrouping for their own convo the same way Claudia and Soren did — before she assumes there Might be something between them. Not just that Rayla might've caught feelings for the boy Claudia's always been gently teasing, but that Callum — whose knowingly liked Claudia forever, and whose feelings Claudia has always been very confident in — might've fallen for her, too, in only a week or so's time. Which says a lot, I think.

Then, even after not knowingly doing anything wrong to Callum - and to Claudia, all she's trying to do is safely bring the boys home and keep a weapon from falling into Xadia's hands - he still lies to and betrays her in his own way. With a moon illusion magic spell that Rayla was blatantly, clearly, in on (even if Claudia may not know it was literally Rayla's idea). And that, of course, Callum ultimately trusted this elf over her; it was Callum setting his own Test of Love for Claudia in a lot of ways, and she failed just about as poorly as she possibly could.

She and her brother take down a dragon, and there's the elf, again, getting in their way and wasting their time. But she does present an opportunity: she can lead them to Callum and Ezran. Only Callum shows up - and Claudia doesn't know whether this was the plan or not - willing to do dark magic - which he wasn't before when he offered it - with an angry, vengeful look on his face. Him breaking the chains, and Rayla freeing the dragon (as Soren says) is what leads to her brother becoming paralyzed. And although Claudia doesn't want to think of the lingering ramifications, that is still the moment she knows on a certain level that she Loses her family, because the second Soren tells her that their dad tried to kill the princes, she can't actually come back from that unscathed. From this until the end of S3, she's in damage control trying to hold onto both her father and her brother at any cost.

And I'm not gonna summarize further (after all, it doesn't seem that Claudia knows Rayla was the one who killed Viren, otherwise I don't think she ever would've given back the coins come hell or high water or a massive character arc) but I think it's a few things:

Rayla is an elf, and a Moonshadow elf, and all that comes with it in regards to dehumanization and demonization. A process that Rayla never returns (admitting the pancakes are good, looking happy for Callum when things seem to be okay / Claudia understands why their mission is important)

Rayla's presence and influence being the consistent through line that ruined Claudia's life, culminating in the literal (unknown) death of her father.

Rayla is an enemy by default and because she creates instability / disruption. The boys trust her over Claudia, which would've been unthinkable a week or perhaps a day ago; Soren is on her side and is the primary elf that he presumably knows; Rayla has Callum's loyalty/devotion, not Claudia - not anymore (which, I will be interested to see if they ever give us a moment where Claudia puts it together that they're a thing, but I'd be fine without one, lol).

Claudia already has a smug streak (see plenty of her interactions with Soren and Callum, and even Terry and Viren) and enjoys feeling more secure / in control. Claudia being able to lord something (the coins) over someone has magic ("We were born with nothing") and who just threatened someone she loves... Claudia being able to get Rayla back for tricking her all those years ago?

TLDR; I think there's jealousy for the life Claudia perceives Rayla has having / having 'stolen' from her (for all she knows, Rayla has been living a cushy life in Katolis with the boys the past two years) and for having earned Callum's trust so decidedly and drastically. I think Rayla, subconsciously, is where Claudia has levelled a lot of blame in how her life turned out (because it can't be her own fault; she can't Be Wrong; the dragons leaving the Storm Spire is a "Sign" she's on the Right path, isn't it?), partially grounded in reality, but mostly not. Rayla is just the easier person to blame, and well... Rayla also has a habit of destroying / fucking things up, mostly unintentionally. Claudia's life might as well be one of them, at this point.