#i discussed my health issues

[sentimental-apathy]

By this time next year I might be living in Scotland. Fuckin well hope so. My parents are seriously considering moving back. I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side but I seriously think the quality of life over there seems better than here (WVIRGINIA). Is anybody Scottish following my blog? I cannee wait teh try oot muh Scottish accent... jk. I'm wondering how most Scots feel towards Americans who move to Scotland..? Will I be welcomed? I like to think I'd make friends easy but I'm afraid cuz I know how so many Americans treat foreigners here and I just wonder if there'll be people who'll treat me like that.

No but seriously, where my Scots at? You want a chubby, eccentric, slightly weird American woman as a friend? I need more friends in general but also need to learn more about current Scottish culture since my parents haven't been home in years (except once in a blue moon).

I've looked up flats in a few places in Scotland n I'm fuckin astonished at the quality of living standards vs where I am now, especially the prices. Right now a friend of mine is homeless, living in a hotel, her parents help paying because just to find a room for rent, a ROOM, not a studio or efficiency, a ROOM in a shared apartment or wee house is anywhere from 800-1200/month. And no one will rent to her without stipulations like making sure she makes 3× the rent on a monthly basis which she doesn't even tho she works full time. The housing crisis here is unbelievable. Is there a housing crisis in Scotland?

[sbd-laytall]

[iamf0rtis]

alright this one might get me in some online fights here on tumblr but i feel like *someones* gotta bring it up

aborting a fetus with a genetic or mental disorder because you cannot take care of them is not eugenics.

bringing a fetus into the world when you can not care for their disorders is cruel.

if you can not care for a kid, you shouldn't have it. yes, that includes kids with autism, kids with down syndrome, kids with cystic fibrosis, etc. its not eugenics, its wanting the best for yourself and any kid you bring into the world.

its not bad to abort a fetus you can not care for. its bad when you know you cant take care of that child but have it anyway.

genetic testing doesnt necessarily promote eugenics, it allows parents to make educated choices about their family and the children they are bringing into the world. frankly, i think it makes the lives of disabled people better.

if you could make sure your child doesnt suffer from a chronic disability, wouldnt you do it? i dont think thats a bad thing.

[wanderingmind867]

Ever since July, I've had stomach issues. My doctor never really figured out what was causing them, but me and my dad just figured they were going away, so we stopped asking about them. But they never really went away. I get constipation a lot lately. And like, that's better than having to go bathroom at school. But it's still not very fun to deal with. But sadly, I think I've just gotten used to the stomach problems. They've been going on for so long, that it's easy for me to overlook them.

And I also have a nervous stomach. So before bed or before school, I'll spend 20 minutes or more in the bathroom. I never want to leave the bathroom, because I'm scared I'll end up needing to go pee at school or get up from my bed to go pee, or any number of other things. It's becoming a real hassle at bedtime, but I'm slowly growing used to this problem too. I think I made a post venting about this before, where I wondered if it was possibly masturbation causing this problem. I still don't know, honestly. But I'm all too used to it, sadly.

[jewishrizahawkeye]

if i see one more person quote the 2019 article where taylor says she doesn’t go to therapy as her fairly recently saying it ill scream cause it was five years ago and also before the pandemic where everyone started getting therapists

[milfbrainrot]

.

I feel like in the past the mix of this site being used for both activism and fandom helped contribute to a lot of unhinged politicized fandom discourse where yeah ofc there's a political tie to media but ppl used it as... a form of activism where it was given disproportionate importance compared to other activism discussions? Whereas now we're swinging to the opposite site of How Dare You Care About Meaningless TV Shows When Politics.

Like... we can have a mix of realizing there's more important stuff to focus on than shipping discourse in the world at large without also minimizing the insane doxxing and death threats behavior going on in fandom that people in fandom have to take into consideration to be able to do their hobby, esp given how those attitudes stem from irl political climates at times in ways that are telling to study. Hobbies are kinda how we prevent activism burnout also. Crazey how that works.

[gejezbiedronki]

anti-psychiatry is not a hill i would die on, because i believe that while autonomy Always comes first the current "standard" treatments may be the best option for many people. but it is very disheartening to realise that yes, community support is another option, but like. we all might as well have half of the dsm printed on the inside of our eyelids. it takes an enormous amount of work to unpack the psychiatric paradigm. so how do you get community support if your community believes the first thing to do in a crisis is to take someone's autonomy away? even if they mean well, that's just what they've been taught. how do you reach out to people if you already have psychiatric trauma? asking a friend for help feels like institutionalisation with extra steps. anyway i don't know where i'm going with this. read foucault maybe

[anarcho-mom-unist]

Could you imagine if a conversation about public health could happen in like any context without the specter of The Fatties being brought up as a clearer and more present danger than whatever is the actual topic at hand.

[ardentpoop]

oh also. that bit from jared’s chapter of family don’t end with blood (fuck that title fr LMFAO) where he’s talking abt his star wars obsession and mentions that when they were kids his big brother (his name jeff fyi) always played han while he played luke. as a bit of irony bc the archetypes kripke specifically drew on when he created the show were dean as a han type in contrast with sam as a luke type. also jared briefly played a different sam when he was young in addition to a different dean. world is full of fun coinkydinks

[celiaelise]

I didn't think I had a particular stance on polygamy one way or the other, but then I had the thought, "why should I have to choose which of my friends to marry platonically so they can share my insurance?! 🤨" so, uh. I guess I do.

[justanotherkathrynjanewayblog]

hey google, why do i feel uncomfortable when people compliment me???

[trans-leek-cookie]

I just saw your tags on the unreliable narrator post and I really want to know what character you’re talking about now

Geto Suguru from JJK. I came for the hot Asian guy with long hair and a cool outfit stayed bc I'm interested in how cults and eugenics hurt ppl irl and also how they're explored in fiction. But between heaven and earth I alone am trying to find a fic that actually treats him being a cult leader as the problem it is and also gets fucking Nanako and Mimiko out of their. Uhhh fuck idk if u know JJK so spoilery ranting under the read more that assumes familiarity (so not like. Explaining specific plot shit bc my brain will explode)

so basically ppl have called out the eugenics shit with like "kill everyone who isn't a sorcerer" and generally they're like yeah that sucks but whatever not important lol. And I've seen like 0 shit actually about how he's a cult leader + how cults are Abusive. And some ppl are like "actually he has a point bc blah blah blah" like okay. If sorcerers were a stand in/comparable to real life marginalized groups. WE DONT NEED MORE "MARGINALIZED EUGENICIST" PLOTS. But even within the story they don't seem marginalized? Like, there are Marginalized Sorcerers, but being a Sorcerer isn't something that's consistently oppressed? The closest thing is either misdirected ableism/sanism ("they see things that aren't there and are assumed to be psychotic" which is its own can of worms) or like accusations of witchcraft which... I guess that's sorcerery based on this universe but irl those were usually used either along with or as cover for other shit (racism, misogyny, land grabs, etc). So hes not necessarily marginalized on that level- tho growing up in a family without other sorcerers mightve caused problems for him that's a LOT different from systemic oppression. And, also? In a lot of cases it seems like sorcerers are relatively privileged with a lot of economic, social and maybe political power? Like the big three families are obv examples bc they're fucking Rich and control the sorcery world so. Y'know. Also it's stated at one point sorcerers receive some like exceptions to the law but aren't allowed to hurt ppl who aren't sorcerers so. Yeag

anyways going more in depth on eugenics- okay real quick terms: negative and positive eugenics. That's not in reference to the quality, "positive" doesn't mean "good" But Rather in reference to wether the action is meant to Reduce "bad genes" or Increase "good genes". And obv negative eugenics includes shit like forced sterilization and murder which I don't want to downplay, but positive eugenics is also coercive and fucked up. For example, forcing ppl to have children they don't want. Which isn't Discussed in the series, but the fact is sorcerers a SMALL minority of the population, and they're already having trouble with curses, so. Theoretically sorcerers would be coerced to have more children to bring the population numbers up. Personally I think that's Not Something Suguru Believes In (I'll get into that but main thing is his eugenics isn't an actual strategy but rather lashing out and ego) but like. There's abuse on both sides of the equation no matter what. Eugenics isn't fucking redeemable.

Now onto the cult shit. It's not super expanded on besides needing money and curses to like. Kill ppl or whatever. But my interpretation of Suguru is that he started a cult, and believes in eugenics, because his ego was damaged. Like the trauma impacted him and influenced his actions ofc bc trauma Does That but also I straight up think his ego was bruised and he wants revenge.

Like first of all, the wider context- he's a kid who is alienated from his parents and probably most of the ppl he interacted with due to his abilities, which is understandably damaging esp at a young age.

He is then scouted and labeled as a special grade- he is one of three in Japan and I believe the world, if I'm not misremembering. He is on par with Gojo Satoru (category wise) who. Literally "Gojo Satoru's birth changed the world" like that's a NUTS ego boost to get

Anyway Gojo called the two of them "the strongest" literally pairing them up and positioning them as equals so like. Whoo boy. Also special grade sorcerer is defined as "a sorcerer who could single-handedly take down a nation" which okay! Labeling children as essentially weapons of mass destruction. Normal behavior

Then Toji happens and this random fucking guy beats you up. He kills your best friend and the girl you were escorting. But he doesn't kill you- because of your cursed technique being risky to deal with, but also. Obvious subtext of "you aren't important enough to kill"

Then your friend comes back from the fucking dead. Kills the man who tried to kill him. Discovers entirely me abilities and becomes even more powerful. And you are stagnating, with a technique you fucking hate. Your entire power is the power of Other Things.

So like. Understandly, thought maybe not justifiably, your ego is fucked.

So you start creating a new dichotomy: sorcerers and everyone else. If everyone else is lesser, you still have worth because you're Better than them by virtue of existing.

And then you discover 2 children being abused for the thing you have a victim complex over (<- this is also it's own thing I'll talk about) and you murder a bunch of ppl about it (okay this is a little questionable of My Opinions maybe but I could. Not forgive but understand the mass murder bc there's a lot of shit building up and clearly if 2 young girls being badly abused in a small village that implies the majority of people were either okay with it or unwilling to try and help at all. Anyway it's still Bad but like. Understandble mental breakdown trauma kinda bad for me? Also bc most ppl irl recognize murder as being Bad but are Weirdly Forgiving of bigotry yknow)

Anyway you take over the cult that was doing some other shit and my personal interpretation of this is also an ego thing. Bc lots of cult leaders do it for the money, but a lot of them also do it bc they like the feeling of controlling ppl. And there's essentially 2 levels of the cult- everyday people and the people he considers Family (which includes Mimiko and Nanako, the 2 children from the paragraph above).

On the "everyday people" level, there's a feeling of being a revered religious leader, knowing something they don't (curses exist), and the satisfaction of taking advantage of the people you don't like.

On the Family level, you position yourself as a savior and as The Only One Brave Enough To Do What Must Be Done (eugenics genocide) so even if you aren't the strongest you're still Special.

So that's my main analysis of why he became a cult leader, and now I'm gonna make more comments about why I think his shit is "Ego" rather than a (fucked up) desire to actually help ppl

If you wanted to help sorcerers survive: THE CLANS ARE A MASSIVE FUCKING PROBLEM. They hoard techniques tools and knowledge and the Zen'in clan literally cast out Toji who could've been a fuckin BEAST at dealing with curses. The clans reliance of tradition also generally hinders sorcerers ability to grow and improve in ways that aren't Traditional

When he dies the cult falls apart (which: good) but also the members have different ideals like some of them wanna keep doing eugenics, some of them just wanted Suguru to be powerful, and two of them were basically his adopted kids. If you actually had good intentions: CREATE A PLAN FOR WHEN YOU DIE SO YOUR FOLLOWERS CAN ACTUALLY CARRY OUT YOUR WILL AND HELP PEOPLE INSTEAD OF LETTING THEM INFIGHT

And idk if this is totally Ego or starting to move into a separate thing so I just decided to split it up: even when he was "righteous" his beliefs kinda Sucked

Like "the strong must protect the weak". There are inherent sort of... values being placed there, because weak is negative, not neutral. It's relatively minor, but I think it's important to note with how his beliefs evolve.

It's not like "we need to protect the people who can't protect themselves" it's really reductive. There's weak people and strong people and basically Noblisse Oblige but for strength or whatever which isn't really actual kindness or equality but rather pretty much. Pity.

Also he sorts jujutsu sorcerers into "strong" and everyone else into "weak" for the most part so that's... great worldview my guy. Definitely not going to just worsen your alienation from other ppl

so when he goes to "why should the strong protect the weak?" He jumps to "the strong don't owe anything to the weak, and actually the weak should be Punished For Being Weak" instead of. Just doing something else. Just get a fucking job, my guy

Anyway his plan is just garbage top to bottom total mess morally and logistically and he's a traumatized teen who grew into an abuser and like. The trauma influenced that but there were always fucking problems so it isn't "oh he got hurt and is evil :(" it's "he has some worrying beliefs and his trauma is likely making his emotions and ability to reason unstable, and then he finds an excuse to turn that instability into Violence" like. He's not necessarily abusive bc he's mentally ill or traumatized marginalized he's abusive bc he got to a point in his life where he could justify it to himself and it felt Good

And I just remembered this part: for the characters who interact with him I do enjoy that they still like and love him, even though he fucking sucks, because that's very human. You'll love imperfect people, you'll love horrible ppl who hurt you and/or others, and that isn't irredeemable it's just Human because being a Human and Connecting With Humans is complicated like that

I even like it when they excuse his bad behavior! Bc that's a realistic character flaw, to value the person u consider your friend over the people they hurt! It's not ethical, but it's natural and interesting to explore in fiction.

THE PROBLEM. IS WHEN THE AUTHORS DO NOT TREAT OR ACKNOWLEDGE IT AS A PROBLEM.

Like... listen. Love a relationship where one character sucks and the other character forgives them for the ppl they hurt and just wants their loved one back. The problem is when the writers are like "aww this is so sweet/romantic/beautiful" WHATEVER. Because it's not??

Someone defending their fucking abusive partner/friend/family member, especially when they aren't victims themselves, isn't fucking sweet it's scary, either for them or others!!!! And I want either to see the characters grapple with the way they excuse their loved ones' abuses and how that reflects on them and their morals, or, if the characters don't do that, for the author to acknowledge it as A Flaw!!!! I'd that too much to fucking ask

Especially with cult abuse, I don't want to say it's necessarily treated worse than any other type of abuse, but it feels really hard to find things related to fictional cults that actually acknowledge the Real Life Damage and Abuse cults do instead of having the cult be 1. Faceless evil 2. A joke 3. Fetishized/romanticized. And like all forms of abuse are similarly distorted in media + fiction, but I feel like ive almost never seen cult abuse portrayed respectfully/accurately, especially in fan works

Anyways for the wild TL;DR I think Geto Suguru's personality is comparable to an anti-sjw trans guy who is getting scarily close to Actual Fascist beliefs and is hurting all the people around him and his ex mutuals are like "he's not that bad" when he is That Bad and I'm so fucking mad about what happened to Nanako and Mimiko. If I think about their canon treatment I get so upset I start to have a headache

[broodparasitism]

I do not think the general public (nebulous as that term is) has any idea how prevalent and how deadly eating disorders actually are and it feels completely neglected by mental health campaigns and thus I feel like I’m screaming to no one all the time

[rosymiel]

i have finally finished the paper i’ve spent 10 hours on today

[fancy-marshmallow]

I NEED A NORMAL STOMACH RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!