#i didnt think i'd ever finish these pieces

[jaggybot3000]

yeah fuck you *melts your ice emperor*

[discount-kirishima]

Touched by angels though

I fall out of grace

I did it all so maybe I'd live this every day

(click for better quality 😭)

[sullyswhore]

mine, mine, mine. – jake sully

– jake sully x fem avatar NSFW

summary; jake saw how you looked at tonowari and had to fuck you back into reality (not rlly caring if tonowari were to find you, oopsies!)

warnings: dom!jake, semi-public sex, breeding kink, hair pulling, kinda edging, rough sex (teehee), bioluminescent cum bc... duh, v mean jake :(, lmk if i missed anything!!!

note: hi! this is my first avatar smut piece so pls don't be too mean :D any feedback/ideas are v much appreciated and you can also send requests/messages to me. i'll try to reply as soon as!

you know you shouldn't of done it. you knew arguing back with your mate after the day he had would end up in two scenarios.

scenario one being that he wouldn't sleep in the nest that night and scenario two being what's happening now.

your body were held up by jake in the shallow water - you grabbing onto vines, leaves... god, anything to sink your fingers into to silently let out the pleasure that's building in you. your top half of your body out of the water, still wet from when jake were pounding into you a few minutes ago, pressed up against a rock as his pace became brutal.

he clustered your hair together into a ponytail, pulling at it as his pace only fastened, "mine, mine, mine. all fucking mine."

he emphasised 'mine', you knowing what he were implying.

"i saw the way you were lookin' tonowari earlier, didn't think i'd notice, hm?" with his free hand, he grabbed his long braid, bringing it over his shoulder and placing his bond down by your throbbing cunt as he pulled onto your hair, making you face the clouded night sky.

"look at me baby," you couldn't. you couldn't look at him whilst too busy trying not to release right then and there whilst he harshly thrusted into you from behind and nipped onto your ears lovingly. he were punishing you by not allowing yourself to cum before he does. he's never been this mean. ever.

his bond grazed over your sensitive clit, the nerves on tipping point to making you finish, "i said-- shitt -- fucking look at me, y/n." he breathed out between thrusts, his voice now cold and stern, making your stomach drop. you finally mustered up the courage to open your eyes, looking into his piercing yellow eyes. he can't help but chuckle, eyeing your pathetic fucked out state, hearing the soft moans seeping out of your open mouth as it hangs, trying your best to stay quiet to not disturb the metkaynia people.

"yeah, you like that? hm?" he grinned, a soft chuckle escaping his lips along with the whimpers he failed to hold back, "fuckin' like having to hold back your screams so people don't know how much of a slut you are for me? his grip tightened as he let out a lewd moan, his eyes and head rolling back but he brings it back up quickly, locking eyes again, "think tonowari can hit your spots as good as me? think his bond can touch ur clit like that and-" he lets out a laugh, watching u struggle to keep ur orgasm in much longer. he pulled your head back more, you didnt even know it could bend this much. he nipped at your ear, his breath warm as he whispered, "-and make you squirm like that?"

"don't worry, 'm so close, you're doing so well, baby girl." he breathed, his thrusts getting slower but harder. you unconsciously clenched around his dick, so close to finishing yourself as his bond attacked your clit and his trusts hitting your sensitive spots. "j-jake, please, i need-" you inhaled the air of pandora, gasping for it as it poured into your lungs, "need you to fill me, so nngh bad, please sir!"

that's all it took for him to come undone. his bioluminescent seed spilling into you, coating your walls as he pushed it as far as he could into you as he continued with painfully slow yet hard thrusts, "gonna fill my girl up to the brim, have a little me running 'round in a few months," he tilted his head to the side as a chuckle left his lips, eyes locked onto where you were connected under water as he kneaded your ass, spreading your cheeks apart to see his last thrusts into your tight pussy, "taking me so well, shit."

his bond grazed over your clit once more, jake's hand clasping over your mouth, just in enough time to cover the lewd scream that tore from your throat as you saw stars when your orgasm finally reached it's peak. your moans and whimpers were muffled by jake's veiny hand as he stilled in you, soon shoving his middle and ring finger in your mouth as he furrowed his brows when you clenched around him, milking his seed into you.

as his seed finally stopped, jake pulled his now softening cock out of you. his dick acting as a plug which kept the warm cum inside of you, were removed and his seed slowly leaked out of you.

"look at him again, no sex for a week, got that?"

[naumin]

2024 retrospective and 2025 goals

this is the censored version of this post. for full images, check out the full free post on subscribestar!

hi :)

i'm really happy with everything i achieved in 2024. it was my first year illustrating full time, meaning no school and no salaried job on the side (believe me i tried to get one) and i'm happy to report i did not die! fuck yes. i even illustrated for 7 (i think) art books, designed merch for 2 and organised my first collab fanbook.

from top left clockwise: michael deforge, anna haifisch, Michel Esselbrügge, CLAMP, saul bass, jon whitcomb, rene gruau, paul rand, molly fairhurst

at the beginning of 2024 i made this moodboard for influences i wanted to incorporate into my work more, they are pretty much the same faves ive had for years but i just wanted to have them in front of me and start deliberately choosing elements to ape.

i'd say i basically want to incorporate more 2D cartoon graphic elements combined with detailed, realistic, delicately rendered characters, more theatric background design and props... features like borders etc. the thing about a moodboard is unless you print it out and put it up by your desk it will sort of slide to the back of your mind which is what i think happened w mine LOL. cuz looking at this now im like well i didnt really hit all these ideas but i did inch closer.

the first pic here is sth i drew immediately after making the board and i like it but it does feel like a slightly clumsy attempt at mashing stuff together... i wouldn't say that it shows i dont understand whats appealing about the work i was referencing (even though thats how it looks), its more like the picture goes in an unexpected direction while making it LOL. but that's part of the fun. whereas in my mind the 2nd pic spiritually embodies the ideas of the ppl i'm trying to copy. even tho visually it's still a ways off. its probably my favourite thing i drew all year? :) though that's hard to say bcus i'm so pleased w so many other pieces especially those u can see on my summary pic!!!

i have a few more artists i wanna add to my board and then i will definitely print it this time so i can look at it every day instead of just twice a year LOL.

another thing im really pleased about is the number of comics i drew in 2024. i have this odd relationship with comics where i do draw them and have for years and im more or less decent at them but i act like drawing them mortally wounds me. like im so dramatic... i do partially believe the only way ill ever be able to complete a longform comic is through abusing stimulants but you know ill also never find out if i keep crawling off to die after inking a page. i see a lot of illustrators suffering when approaching comics from the illustration mindset of making beautiful pictures instead of the comics mindset of making finished pictures, but u know, im extremely slapdash as an illustrator and im also proud enough to believe im a guy that can do both, so its really time i act like it... basically just shut up and draw. i want to apply this especially to perspective drawing/panel backgrounds, which im, like, fine at. honestly fine at. i do think i trip myself up because i want to be the next dostoevsky or beyonce or whatever, i want to be great, but have to remember the most anyone can do is aspire to express something from your inner world. everything else is secondary.

one thing i learned the hard way is how hard it is to have work life balance when you work from your bedroom and 'monestise your hobby'... you know, the thing everyone has been warning each other about for years. turns out its real. its super confusing when so many elements of your work bleed into your social life, physical health, leisure time etc -- like i go online for fun, and also to promote myself. so wheres the distinction? i watch movies for entertainment but also for research... ive definitely felt like ive been working around the clock or my job has consumed my life at points. but i think being stricter with my work hours is the way forward. it truly is shaytan at the wheel when u answer an email at 3AM... no more of this!

and tied into this is being realistic about what i can achieve in a day and not feeling ashamed or that i need to do more... i get stuck in this silly loop that's like... 'i believe everyone should work 4 hours a day, but because other people are stuck working 40 hours a week i should also be making myself do that' and then i work myself into a flare up and wreck my work ethic and enjoyment. u can laugh... i know it doesnt make sense. well i wont do it any more. because i CANT... because i will DIE... some days i work 4 hours. some days i work 6. some days i work half an hour... it doesnt matter as long as stuff gets done.. and it does.

also want to talk about my chronic pain and hypermobility... after a year of lifting weights i am stunned to let u know ive actually improved. unfortunately i dont look anything like the rock and i still cant do a real push up but im stronger and have more stamina and suffer from way less zaps and aches and numbness, which was unthinkable before. i only really noticed after taking a trip and doing different activities (painting walls) that i can physically do a lot more than i usually do at home. but also my house is fucking cold so its hard to do anything for anyone. hoping for warmer days and big muscles to come.

some of my other art goals are to work more on paper whenever i can. i used to have a huge stack of newsprint on my drawing board underneath my ipad and id doodle and test ideas on that paper before drawing it digitally. i wanna do that again. many people find its easier to 'think' on paper and im the same. whenever i have an idea i wanna go 'what would this look like on paper?' and then find out.

i want to be thinking about composition and storytelling more in my illustrations, as in, think cinematic, movie posters, communicating big ideas. even if that idea is only as big as 'this blue looks great with this orange'... i want to make more stuff that looks like promotional material for my stories. of course behind every movie poster is 100,000 thumbnails and sketches and half-finished ideas. i want to remember that and not be hard on myself for drawing girl in profile #997.

i want to draw more autobio comics, just to be drawing more comics and also to look back on and know what i was doing that day. nothing fancy. a lot of people are doing that gentle comics habit this year and i fear my competitive nature may get me into it too.

i have more books i wanna create which ive talked about at length in my last diary entry and for now i think that's enough goals thank you very much. thank you for reading this far and for all your support. happy new year! love you x

[fatuismooches]

smooches you have no idea how much i want to be Pantalone's little househusband i promise im normal you dont get it! your post about a reader who has physical touch as their love language boosted this by like 9999999% i keep rereading the pantalone bit and giggling (also the zandik part broke my heart how could u... </3 /lh /pos)

i wanna cook him dinner when he gets home and offer him a kiss when he returns :(( I want to be surprised when he sees something that reminds him of of me and so he got it !!! I want to massage his shoulders and give him a kiss on the cheek as i do so :(((( I wanna wash his hair with no matter how much product as he uses :(((( I want to use a hair dyer and gently style his hair for him however he wants! I want to cuddle with him as he rambles about his day! I wanna help him get ready in the morning and help him with anything he needs !! i want to make him a cute little breakfast before he goes off to work !! I'd be so sad when he leaves :((( but then i realized he forgot his lunch, so before his break i waltz into his office and bring him his lunch with a kiss on the cheek! I crave domesticity with this man i am feral i am insane I'm running around in circles - 🎈 no one understands my yearning

TEEHEE I'M GLAD YOU LIKED THAT POST!! ❤️ (ALSO I DIDNT MEAN TO BREAK YOUR HEART NOOO IM SENDING ALL MY HUGS 🎈 ANON!!) And omg,,, you're so right ;(( THAT'S SOOOO CUTEE AHHH!! Indulging in all of the sweet little domestic things with Pantalone >>>

Ughh,,,,, him coming home after a super long day and all he wants to do is relax with you in bed, but as usual he comes home to a delicious smell wafting throughout the house and he already knows you're making his favorite ;)) And although he was tempted to skip dinner just to cuddle with you he can't say no to your cooking made with love!! And he certainly can't say no to hoisting you up on the counter and giving you a tonnnn of kisses while the meal finishes cooking! And the gifts? How could you not be ecstatic at his gifts? It's not just the large $ he drops on you as if it's nothing that makes you blush, but how he explains why he got it for you <33 We love a king who thinks of you always !!

Ohhhh he absolutely adores when you take care of him <3 you're such a good darling, going so far as to take care of your husband like this, even though you have your own responsibilities and troubles :( Pantalone loves how intimate and soft you are with him... your hands may not be as skilled as a professional but your rubs really make the stress roll away better than anyone... he's very fussy with his hair but you know all the tricks after being with him for so long :) You'll make sure he doesn't feel an ounce of pain or discomfort and ensure that it's as fluffy as usual! Don't let him fall asleep in the tub though... it's nearly impossible to get him out then. Though he'll totally pamper you the same way, better than royalty! Equal exchange and all! (Also because you're his beloved of course, even if you didn't he would still love you like that)

He loves rambling to you, because you're probably the only person that at least partially understands his rambles but also 100% willing to listen 🥺 Pantalone gets up quite early so he'll try not to wake you... but if you get up anyway to help him his heart would be blown into itty bitty pieces 🥰 He insists on you getting your 8+ hours but he can't deny he loves when his beloved gives him a goodbye kiss and sees him off for the day 🥰 Pantalone gives you a kiss back and reassures you he'll be back before you know it...

You could just send an agent to deliver his forgotten lunch but why would you ever lose out on the chance to see your husband?! Do the regular Fatuis say anything when you walk in with a very cute, delicious, and organized lunchbox for the Harbinger? Nope. Do they know not to disturb the Regrator when you're alone with him in his office? Yes. SO FREAKING CUTE 🎈 ANON AHHHQDWBDJWDND

[strawberry-skies-xx]

13, 20, & 22 for the fic asks! fic i choose for 22, of course, that fucked up girl <3 and the mori dazai fic w the matcha tea....both fics have me by. CHOKEHOLD

*walks in 2 days late w iced coffee* that reblog spree on your blog is bc i couldn't find the og post btw and i had the (naive) hope you didn't reblog shit at the speed i did

13. Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics?

i prefer reading AND writing multi-chapter fics, bc its so much fun to explore stuff. however. The Horrors. i can dream about writing a multi-chapter fic all i want but it doesnt mean ill ever finish it (rest in piece my fleabag fyozai fic that's infamous on my bsd server bc i never shut up about it. also the fyozai betrayal AU fic. pensive emoji.)

20. Which fic have you put the most work into? Which fic have you put the least work into?

you make miette search through 84 published works for this...

the fic i'd say i've done the most research on is this one (mafia Dazai training Akutagawa) but the fic i've put the most work into being really good and me liking it has to be this one. its not BSD, but its a character study of a guy from another fandom and his interest in death and passive suicidality. i spent 3 days postponing every single other obligation other than food and just sat in bed writing this. 4th day i did nothing but chores and then i didnt write anything else for a week lol

least work is hard bc i have a philosophy that i can do whatever i want forever so i Will just write something in an hour and post it with no research, all pure self-indulgence. but i'll use a fic i should have done research on: this one. i really should've planned that out better. idk if anyone still follows me for httyd or has read that fic of mine but i do plan on rewriting it someday

22. Have you used any symbolism in [insert fic]? What does it represent?

OH boy.

so. fucked-up girl fic actually doesn't Have much real symbolism, only a couple remarks on my headcanons for various things.

today he had to eat an apple whole because he could not pick up a knife-

this one is easy, referencing dazai's suicidality and the fact he is trying. just a slight reference to him actively changing/being unable to do something, and also his issues with food.

He starts targeting.

Dazai is very, very still.

Atsushi backtracks so fast that he stumbles over his words, forgetting entirely Dazai’s contradictory explanations,

little things about dazai's manipulation in everything. boy can't admit shit. he's very roundabout with admitting anything close to himself (why i hc fyodor is so good for him, because they can trade those vague references back and forth and understand each other) and a trait i assign to him is saying vulnerable things in as few words as possible. he doesn't explain stuff.

Dazai’s body aches, and he turns, walks over to his desk, sits down. His clothes constrict.

gender issues but also, as mentioned in my comment on your fic, i hc dazai just hates his body. he has to shower with the lights off sometimes, can get dressed without looking at himself once. he very much dislikes perceiving the fact he has a body.

The ADA thinks that they’re dating. Him and Yosano. 

not symbolism or a hc but this was the premise of the entire fic. the agency thinking dazai and yosano were dating when really dazai just had severe gender envy

“Zai.”

little hc! yosano specifically uses this nickname for dazai when affectionate. atsushi and kunikida don't use any actual nicknames derived from his name; chuuya uses this nickname sometimes; ranpo uses this nickname somewhere between chuuya and yosano bc ranpo is putting in the least effort to get his attention lol

The conclusion is obvious. Dazai should explain that’s not what he means, but he can’t get his mouth to work to speak honestly. 

this whole conversation was the biggest indicator of dazai being unable to elaborate/saying things in as few words as possible. he's not a pathological liar, i just think sometimes it is physically painful to have to elaborate vulnerable things verbally for him. e.g. "it's because you're a woman" and yosano having to debate the fact dazai could be going after her, dazai Knowing what kind of conclusion she'd jump to immediately As a woman, and yet he just cannot explain it further because it is vulnerability. HENCE why i like him and fyodor, because fyodor can make those kinds of connections as quick as dazai can.

"Women are really pretty~”

not a hc or symbolism but. Boy why do you talk about women so much and yet date none of them. almost actively make yourself undesirable to them. Sir. My guy. i know what you are

“There’s a word for it?”

special lil hc i have. the mafia is very open and accepting because they simply have bigger priorities than who's kissing who. mori simply does not give a shit if his agents are consorting or if his lead agent goes from a girl to a guy. he won't provide monetary support and unless it's physically disabling he won't make exceptions to rules, but if he's told that someone's pronouns have changed or whatever he'll go "cool" and change the name/pronouns in all of the system, start using them, and be done with it. his only concern is performance and as far as he cares, sex and gender are irrelevant. (on that note, harrassment isn't tolerated because why are you harrassing them for being gay when you can harrass them for the multiple enemies they didn't kill last mission. cmon now.)

this also comes with the caveat that the kids raised in the mafia aren't really educated on it. they're taught normal class subjects, e.g. math, english, etc. and they're taught mafia protocol, and they're allowed to get their own reading material, but the mafia puts in as much effort to teach them about queer people as they do to teach them about heterosexual people. (they do get sex ed tho, which is basic as ever, and which dazai is a whole menace during)

and dazai, obviously, would not really be that interested in either to read about. being brought in so young, i think he was never really taught bias against queer people, so when he had the revelation that he liked chuuya he was just kinda. oh ok. and when he has the feelings about his body that he doesn't like it, he has much bigger priorities (namely the quickest way to die) than figuring out whatever the hell that is.

so it ends up that dazai just kinda is queer and has no idea what it is. he knows he hates his body and he knows he likes chuuya, probably has some surface level knowledge of gay/bi/lesbian/etc. but otherwise no, he's never sought out specifically to figure out the terms for what he's feeling. he actually really hates perceiving himself in any way lol

He still looks like himself,

this little bit: he hates perceiving himself in any way, but he still wants to be him. he doesn't want to change his name or his reputation or whatever else, he doesn't want to be a different person. he just wants to be a dazai that he likes.

It would look wrong be inconvenient for him, and take so much effort. Just… so much. So much that he can’t handle. Managing himself is hard regularly - adding on this, whatever it is, would be biting off more than he could chew. 

there's a river called de nile-

dazai is denying the fact he thinks being a woman would look wrong because of his years of being in a masculine body like he is, hence the calluses mention. but he also is right, that he wouldn't be able to upkeep it. he has to be in a better spot/it has to be something very slow and gradual for him to be able to keep it up long enough to maintain a desirable appearance. he's sorta using it as an excuse to not do it but also he just doesn't want to put in that much effort into it.

now for the matcha fic!

Very big hc and symbolism for this fic: Dazai's ability.

it is an ability nullifier, and i stand by the idea that abilities have some kind of effect on their user and are somewhat sentient. Atsushi's tiger, for one, is not only a transformation but the shape of the ability inside him, and Kyouka's Demon Snow is a whole being as the ability itself.

so for Dazai, he described it once as an "anti-ability." which. what the hell. whump beams him.

i have the hc that Dazai's ability makes him cold because most ability users can feel their ability hummign beneath their skin. most abilities are warm, alive, and it's like a constant low electric current or adrenaline rushing through them, as omnipresent as a heartbeat or breath. just a fact of being alive is that feeling. so then: when Dazai nullifies other people's ability, they can Feel the absence of it, they can feel very empty and very cold. when Dazai is the host of that nullification ability, it's just that electric warmth reversed. an icy cold, all the time, because NLH is a black hole as opposed to a sun. (all my metaphors relate NLH more to an icy lake, but that's the dichotomy)

i don't ascribe Dazai's emptiness entirely to NLH, but i do think it contributes and that he has a complex about the relationship between his own issues with emotion, empathy, and the fact NLH lives inside him.

and that cold gets much worse whenever Dazai actually does nullify an ability depending on how strong it is/how much is being used at the time, therefore the remark about him making a science on how bad it'll affect him, and that scene about him being overwhelmed by nullifying Chuuya's ability; he miscalculated, and was caught off guard by NLH activating so strongly, esp given his injuries and physical weakness already in that moment

and another little HC: Dazai's hinted to have been in an even worse place before Mori and abilities are said to be activated from trauma. so i like to hc Dazai's ability as activating from the result of being tortured with abilities, from a deep desire to stop the torture, also in some kind of lab setting. and from there, Dazai escaped, and Mori got this very damaged child.

so then, through the matcha fic, Dazai latches onto it because the warmth of the tea chases away the cold of NLH.

another thread through this fic: Mori and Dazai's relationship. i think Mori was trying to keep Dazai alive as an asset to the mafia, and that he never... regretted? bringing him in as much as wished Dazai had never shown up at his doorstep in the first place, because Mori sees the value of his skills way too much to regret using them. but Mori also knows kids aren't supposed to do what Dazai is doing. and he also sees the emptiness in Dazai and all his general issues. so it's this very messy tangle of like. Mori can't care for him like a father because, yknow, mafia boss and Mori himself also has manipulation and control issues, but also he's much fonder of him than most others, even Chuuya. no one else would have been able to get away with all the shenanigans Dazai inflicts on him (that kid bullies mori so hard. it's very comical). Mori is simultaneously training him and raising him in a life-or-death environment for them both and it's so messy.

“I’ll make us all some hot tea!” Atsushi raises an eyebrow, skeptical. “Are you sure you won’t… burn the Agency down, Dazai?”

little note here: i think dazai curates an image of incompetency specifically because of his competency in the mafia. obviously everyone there knows he's actually competent, but he hides just how competent he is. partially to get up to his own shenanigans hiding his mafia connections and whatever else, but also partially because he doesn't want to be known as something like the demon prodigy again.

when it's serious, they know he can hold his own (prison arc) but otherwise. he is faking so much incompetency.

“I’ll make a deal - if you manage to make matcha tea as well as I do, I can get you your own expensive set for the holidays~”

ok listen. listen. the slap that dazai gave atsushi lives rent free in my mind because of the moment of hesitation just before it. everyone villainizes dazai for slapping atsushi while entirely ignoring the brief hesitation just before it.

dazai was both trained (as an agent) and raised (as a teenager) by mori. and oda was not a very good dad either. he doesn't have the best role model, for one. but he's also very self-aware when he's older and i think he can separate "father" mori and "mafia boss" mori in his actions. he knows when mori was trying to raise him and he knows when mori was trying to train him.

now. now guess what dazai is to atsushi. a trainer. and dazai is still taking the place of someone older and more experienced teaching atsushi not only combat skills but also life skills/growing-up skills. and we all saw how dazai got with akutagawa; that was an environment conducive to that kind of treatment, where that was being encouraged.

now the agency doesn't condone physical violence and dazai knows that. and he is very clearly trying to be a good person like oda asked him to. so, with that moment of hesitation, he clearly did not want to slap atsushi. but someone else's post words this better: he got complacent at the agency, forgot mori's ruthlessness, and with the threat against atsushi and release of Q he remembered he couldn't be so complacent and began to slip back into the old mafia thinking as a way to survive.

and with atsushi breaking down and not listening to him, the agency threatened by mori and Q, a threat that made even dazai flinch, i hc he got overwhelmed, knew there was one method that got guaranteed results, knew the agency didn't condone it, but was overwhelmed enough that he just. lashed out in a way he knew guaranteed would work, and would get atsushi to listen to him.

so . very long rant just to say that i think dazai is fighting, a bit, to balance his experience of being trained-and-raised, with him training-and-raising atsushi, but he knows the difference clearly between the two and so he'll cherrypick actions like the deal mori made with the matcha tea.

deep breath. it's been like an hour and a half. jfc. anyway there's your answers hsfdbhsdf i have many many thoughts on dazai

ty for asking!

[fictionkinfessions]

I never thought I'd have a canon like this, but... Here I am, with thoughts about an old sister that borderline on incestuous. And worse, they were requited feelings.

It wasnt a sex thing, thankfully. I was pretty vehemently ace/aro, although I didnt use those words at the time. I never wanted to sleep with Kendra. I never wanted to be her boyfriend. At first, I just preferred her company to anyone else's. It wasnt until our first summer at Fablehaven that "preference" grew into "obsession". I can cite a thousand reasons why. We both nearly died. The preserve almost fell, partially because of me. She saved the day. She had my back, even when I was being a fucking idiot. And I had her back, even when she was being a fucking coward. Her words, not mine. It was the kind of devotion you develop for someone you'd live and die for.

But then, the danger only got worse. Our magic started to grow into complements of each-other. We were two halves a whole. As things got worse, our obsession with each other grew deeper. We started sharing a bed, secretly. I couldnt sleep without her next to me. She begged them to let me come with to Wyrmroost. Im pretty sure she's the one who asked Warren to stow me away for the trip. And sure enough, when the dragons showed up, we were the only ones who could help each-other withstand dragon fear. Once again, two halves a whole that should NEVER be separate. I got Vasilis. She used it to kill the Demon King. Two halves of a whole.

I hated Gavin right away. Even if he did turn out to be a piece of shit, thats not why I hated him. I hated Bracken for the same reason I hated Gavin. They were trying to take Kendra away from me. I told Bracken he should find someone closer to his own age. And then he goes and kisses her, without even asking her first. If I didnt know any better, I would have let Ronodin finish that stupid unicorn off. I certainly had thoughts of how I could get rid of them all, so Kendra and I could be together and unbothered. Never went through with them, for obvious reasons. When I thought Kendra was dead, I fantasized to no end about how I could make The Sphinx suffer for it. Even after she came back safe and sound, I still thought about it. Because how dare he? Even now, I still hate thinking about them. Every time I do, I think about how they tried to take my sister away.

And now I'm alone again. Worst of all, I truly dont think I will ever see her again. But perhaps thats for the best. What I had for Kendra wasnt healthy. Really, no part of that lifetime was healthy for me. No wonder it ended the way it did.

-Seth Sorenson (Fablehaven)

2

[rattsin]

So just a little check in. I won't... no this is for me I will ramble.

You know, or may not know, that I have been drawing my way through alanna: the first adventure book for a few years doing a couple of pieces each year. Originally that started in part as a way to practice my drawing but mostly really it was a way to try and trick myself into reading again. I still don't enjoy sitting still and reading for more than a short while but the drawing keeps coming along, slowly, but I can feel a difference in my confidence, especially with traditional mediums.

Anyway an unexpected consequence of doing these alanna drawings is I have solid punctuation marks all across the years now documenting how I'm progressing with my art most notably making a real effort to learn to make work traditionally.

You see I learnt to draw digitally first, sort of, i did go to art school but made some poor choices and didnt make the most out of it. So i leaent to draw digitally before i learnt to draw normally and i got okay at it and digital art is still fun, I still like my first alanna drawing and I think it is technically better than my last one I just did buuuut... i really like making traditional art.

I cannot straight up draw on paper as well as i can digitally becuase of course i cant. I dont have my much used warp tools and layers and shit; fixing every micro mistake, but god traditional art is so fun.

And I can see that enjoyment grow over the alanna drawings as I learn something new or push myself to draw something outside of what I feel I can because that's what the scene calls for.

Once I was very embarrassed to show what the first image actually looked like. It's my first traditional piece in my collection and one of my very first serious tries at traditional drawing maybe since even before uni and I really hated it. I'm showing how the sausage is made but I've put what the picture actually looks like next to what I've put together on the computer as the finished works and... God I remember being so down about the first one, I'd laboured over it as I always do, wanting to make something nice to do the story justice, and I just... could not match traditionally what I knew I could do digitally and that pissed me off so much ahaa I didn't even know where to begin polishing this turd I'd made so I just stripped all the colour out of it and called it finished so I could stop thinking about it.

I did kept practising though obviously and as I said I've got these paintings of alanna to demonstrate to myself how I'm growing.

This latest one one, now this is a sausage. So I can't draw straight down onto paper as well as I can digitally but I don't like to paint digitally but I want a nice drawing I can splash my watercolours onto what do I do? Well for a while on things I care about being finished nicely I've been drawing the big complex thing digitally, warping what ever the hell I want, as many layers as desired, flip flop that file until I get something mostly polished and then I can get my light box or my projector and trace the thing out and ink it or maybe use coloured pencils but right now I'm inking.

And that's what I did here, it's an A3 hot press most expensive bit of paper I've used since printing class and boy I was determined to do right by the materials.

Had so. Much. Fun. with my watercolours once I got there after the ink. This is probably my second most big complex watercolour ive tried and i loved painting it. Loved it. Made a huge mess of my carefully planned out line work. Ah well, no worries, I can just draw them again on the ipad i thought, too easy.

Yeah nah I hated that. Took the photo, popped it into procreate, got to drawing over the little washed out ink lines to sure everything up. Ugly, felt wrong, hated it, not doing that.

So I sat with it for a bit. I knew I did want to bring the lines back an not leave it washed out and I knew that meant going in with a pen or a brush or pencils but I really didn't want to fuck it after I'd been so happy with where I'd gotten with it. But I did go in, with a brush pen, and I did fuck it. I fucked it so bad, in so many places. I fucked vital bits of the drawing that i had done so prettily in the first pass. I fucked with bits I had already fucked with splashing paint water too enthusiastically and fucked it some more. And then, boy, then I tried to unfuck my fuck ups with gouache and fuck me that was the biggest fuckshit mistake. It was fucked. I had fucked up and fucked it. In my defence, I'd had a chest/sinus thing and covid for 6 weeks. But actually, i... did care i fucked it but it wasnt crippling, so i probably dont even care to have a defence, i didnt fuck up that badly, actually.

That's a really revolutionary thought for me.

So I took another photo of my fucked but now much better defined painting, slapped an orange filter over it, ironed out the gouache situation, pushed a couple of the faces around so they werent so soulless and called it finished because... it was. It was really a very easy thing to clean up, I had not fucked anything up beyond the scope of my ability to repair a little and the worst fucks well... I couldn't really see them for all the good I had done.

Rev-o-lutionary.

When I got out the first picture to have a look at tonight I was surprised by how neutral I was to see it. I had hated it but, by extension and more worryingly, i had felt resentment towards my own fumbling hands for this thing I thought was ugly being the limits of their ability to create.

I don't see what I was thinking in that picture now. It just is what it is. Something to practice my drawing and trick myself into reading. A punctuation mark showing my first steps into a new medium. Making it i should have just allowed it to be time spent recovering from what i remember being a pretty shit time, a respite. I didn't need to be so cruel to myself.

And, gladly, doing this latest picture I didn't feel any dissatisfaction with my hands. I made plenty of mistakes, pleeeeeenty. But i can see what ive done and how i might avoid shitting things in the future. That's enough. I did good things in the painting too

And it's time to sleep. I just was pondering over this. I don't reeeeally know what I've said but i felt it boiling in my chest, I mean outside of the infection that's mostly cleared, and I just felt like getting it out

Yep

[forbiddensasuke]

Got tagged by @elaanaa whee yippiee

What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

A picture of @femmbuss and as homescreen a picture of @dogydogdog ~

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

currently just suffering, thank you

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

I actually do lol. This one stuck to me among my friends from a roleplay group and it's Kirin as my first character was named that

🎵 Last song you listened to?

Wake by The Mission

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

Only fanfiction of my friends' ocs and finished only one story. The rest is just unkempt pieces of god knows what

😏 Are you on discord?

Yeas

💛 Do you have any piercings?

Yeas

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

That's a good question. I'd say the way they treat others when themselves are in position of power. Also what kind of topics they talk about the most and what they dig into the most - whether it's themselves, other people, concepts, things they love, things that piss them off. If they talk about themselves - are they boastful? Are they talking about fun situations that happened to them? Are they sharing their pain? If they talk about others - are they judgemental over stuff that's none of their business?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

A burnt one with not enough sugar because someone forgor to add it

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

I'm barely a person

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

Headphones

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

"Can I use your pc? I got tagged in a tumblr post and i can barely make up what it says when i read it on my phone" xDD

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

When you send a package to great britain the customs agent has to add waivers according to the type of a commodity you want to transport. And sometimes they have to add waiver Y904 that's basically saying "this importer said 'i prommy to not use these items to torture and repress other people uwu'" and it's extremely funny to me. Ok they added the waiver Y904 to this shipment so they obviously cannot use these plastic spoons for nefarious reasons. I feel so safe. This metal pipe will cause nobody no harm. Because the importer said so.

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

I'm exhausted all the time and i long for rest at any time of the day.

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

I can nap anywhere at this point. Throw me into a puddle of mudd and I will fall asleep

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

Take a wild guess xD

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

tired grumpy possum

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

We are freeballing in this house

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

death to starbucks

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

that original "blue screen of death" type of blue. It maims my eyesight. It wants me dead. It threatens my family (i like blue but not this one)

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

Now that i think of it. Hm idk if you asked me when i was in a better mood maybe i could think of sth in particular

☕ Coffee or tea?

both

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

I dont have one. I think all of them were cool F in the chat

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

I took part in Mishapocalypse ok? ok.

🌴 Desert island item?

idk a shovel

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

emo guy who crawled out of a swamp

🔮 What’s your dream job?

it would either be selling commissions/adoptables full time or becoming an aesthetician (im having an art block but im working on the latter)

💙 Relationship status?

Taken by wonderful puppygirls that make my life brighter and whom i love more than anything @dogydogdog and @femmbuss <3 <3 <3

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

a goth vampire in various variations

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

plenty of them, especially since i like to sing a lot. I could sing the opening to the polish version of W.I.T.C.H. Guardians any time of night or day

🤎 What color is your hair?

Currentlyyyyyyyy mostly pale silver-ish color with a blonde part that didnt catch the toner and black roots

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

I just cuss when im pissed but besides that not really

💄 Do you wear makeup?

sometimes. Lately I'm trying to get back into it though it's mostly just black panda-type eyeliner and sometimes concealer/foundation

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

Damn. One time some random guy said to me "i love the distance between your eyes" and it cracks me up to this day XDD But seriously speaking, I appreciate every kind word my partners say to me and it feels great that they think of me so highly since they are wonderful in my eyes

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Well, Dogy was already tagged by you :b But there's a bunch of others that I also like a lot, like @moldavite and @i-love-linux-and-need-cat-ears (no pressure to do this whole answering questions thing tho)

Thanks for tagging me @elaanaa ^ ^

[actualbird]

nxx analysis compilation vol 2 status update: hey i think this thing might be coming out soon, like maybe in the coming month :D

like bros, look at what a sheer burst of productivity does to me

all the analyses are formatted, and only a few more need to be layouted and good god the updated wordcount with all the footnotes i added in has jumped from 18k words to 24.3k words. tfw u microdose on writing 5.3k footnotes across 14 pieces....

so since im very close to finishing, i'd like to ask if anyone out there would like to help me proofread/check the layout of this thing ;w;

i cant offer anything in return but u being able to see everything early and before everyone else, but basically all this would entail is:

checking that i didnt leave any lost/floating footnote numbers anywhere

checking spelling, basic punctuation, if im Using Words Correctly (i.e. i already found an embarrassing instance where i used the word "peaked" when i meant "piqued")

checking just in general that i didnt monumentally fuck up any other layout stuff skdfvsf

if ever ur interested, lmk by leaving a reply on this post!!! i'll DM you once ive got the first draft ready ( ᐛ )و

EDIT: ive got enough people now, thank you so much guys!!! :D

[rrxnjun]

(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

[zaptap]

done with the ttyd remake!

went into the mush fight thinking okay, i don't have enough power rushes to take him out in one turn, i should end up having to superguard him, we'll see how that goes

......first turn he was invulnerable to jumps so i hammered him down to 75. his attack..... missed. lmao. i used power jump and once again hit the fourth bounce and killed him faster than i was expecting (that was SIX hits with power bounce and he was dead after 5)

then i ran around doing recipes to clear enough space in my inventory to get the 8 whacka bumps. then i ran around doing more recipes while i waited for the email about whacka, and by the time that happened i pretty much just had all those syrup/shroom ones near the beginning and the mistake, so i left those for after whacka

and i also killed whacka way too easily. he had one turn and wasted it healing 25hp. i fought all 3 of those bosses with a full inventory of life shrooms and none of them even tried to hit mario. i'd maybe try it with fewer power rushes, buuuuut i'm satisfied with what i've done in this game (i finished off those recipes and got the gold badge. i saved mistake for last)

next up i'll go back to my original file on the gamecube version (i'll have to dig up the game again and hook up my gamecube first) and do approximately what i just did (without the extra bosses or the items to recognize all of it). i only ever did the first 50 floors of the pit, i never fought atomic boo, idk if i got all the star pieces (i'm thinking maaaybe shine sprites?), i'm probably missing a lot of badges, and i know for a fact the only recipes i did were for troubles (i did finish all of those though. and i was good about tattling, iirc the missing stuff is all from the pit. and atomic boo which i didnt know about). setting up danger mario will also take a bit more work since i upgraded each stat evenly (instead of almost exclusively doing bp in the remake) though at least power rushes and money money will be cheaper

[loopy777]

Yeah, the brutal demand for quality and excelence in the japanese weekly grind for Manga artists means that even the best of them experience burnout at some point or discover their plans didnt quite go as they wanted it too.

Because of this, even excelent manga tend to have at least one terrible or subpar arc, when things just did not come together.

As i said, i think there are plenty of better manga and animes that FMA, but there are very few of them that doesnt have such a dip in quality at some point.

And thats the series that are overall good, plentyu have a bad arc and never really recover. Naruto pre timeskip was better than FMA, and the peak of what shonen could be... Post timeskip it eventually fell off a cliff.

Bleach had a very interesting world, and peaked during an arc where it essentially was a giant murder/political mystery... With a spectacular plot twist at the end... But it never managed to reach that level of quality again, and meandered through to a finish line, where both anime and manga got cacencled at different points(despite what some like to argue) for shitty quality. Hell the manga was cut short during the final battle itself. Thats really bad.

The list goes on and on.

To be fair, one bad arc isn't exactly limited to manga, or shonen. You'll find it in many excellent series.

Hell, while not really an arc, even ATLA, amazing as it was had one episode which almost all fans utterly despises.

Also about the peanut gallery... Us talking about it, actuqlly reminded me that one of the best Fights Luffy ever had, actually had the Villain, Katakuri, basically go:

"Damn this peanut gallery is annoying... Lets get rid of them before we kick things into high gear."

And then he knocks them the fuck out so that him and luffy can have an epic battle in peace. It's not the funniest scene in the world, but when i actually look at it on a meta level, yeah, this fight is so much better speciffically cause Katakuri removed the damned commentary track.

Okay, that's almost worth going through all of One Piece to get to, considering my gripe. XD

I have to wonder about the weekly grind for manga compared to American comics. Sure, you can cover a lot more territory in 50 issues a year compared to 12, but in practice, does that hold up for most action manga? Is having a single writer-artist superior to having a writer who works with a rotating artist team?

I would argue that having a full writing team is inferior to a single writer, and American comics seem to agree with me as writers these days seem to stick around for an uninterrupted run for at least a year before leaving and never looking back, and that's when the book isn't writer-owned. But considering manga art is a group effort, anyway, it seems like it would be a simple shift to having a larger team who do every other issue or something like that.

And a shift to every other week as a standard probably wouldn't be hard to accommodate. It still gets installments out fairly frequently, and I'd argue that manga has largely decompressed in order to manage its update schedule, so I think we'd see a natural speed up in pace and the storytelling wouldn't be any slower. I suspect that even the writers who don't fumble things just learn how to stretch things or tread water with their stories in order to give themselves time to recharge or resolve creative issues, so giving them that week's buffer would just result in things tightening up.

But I'm just speculating as an ignorant Audience. I can't draw, I've never written anything professionally, I've never even worked on an amateur comic, and I know very little about the manga industry except that they come out bundled in weekly anthology magazines and about 15,000 mangaka die every year from overwork. As someone from an engineering background, my solution when a machine is burning itself out is to run it slower or stop covering up the vents. And I have no idea what that second option would look like in the comic industry.

[warrior-u-preservation]

Interview with The Path Podcast (Full written responses)

(Note: The interview itself will be different, since mod myne represented both mods on the podcast. However, this includes our full feelings on the questions that were provided to us.)

Who are you and how did you end up walking the path of a "warrior u" writer/comic creator?

Myne: I go by worldismyne for fandom related pursuits.

I'd like to clarify that Aisha Thani is the creator of Warrior U. Just like multiple people have written for Stan Lee's creations, I'm just a writer who's received permission from the creator to distribute and monetize works within her universe.

I've been in the WU fandom since 2014; at that time Aisha made the comic, ran an in character ask blog, a concept art blog and the main blog. I can only imagine how much work that was. A hard drive crash killed about 6 or so pages of Ambrosia, the last story arch she was working on; three weeks worth of updates up and gone. I watched writer’s block take hold and kill my favorite series in real time. Having to go back and redo work she’d already done had given her time to look at it and go ‘I can’t post this, this is awful’, but by then all of us were waiting for the next update for over a month, she couldn’t go back and rewrite the entire arch. It didn’t help that this was the origin story for a fan favorite character, so there was all this pressure to make it perfect. Instead, after about six artists made fan comics to feed the hungry fandom… she announced the end. The website, the blogs, one by one they all ran into issues and got shut down. Hundreds of pieces of art and story concepts just… lost. Once the comics were rereleased on gumroad, that was it, the fandom slowly died. Before this project, the last time the creator posted new content was in 2017. Then in the middle of the pandemic, out of nowhere I get 70+ notifications from Coffee reblogging the pieces of art I had saved from the old blog, including drafts from the unfinished issues. 

Coffee: well, i go by coffee online, im 20 years old and when im not working on my various personal projects i work part-time. i was introduced to warrior u WAYY back in the day (i think i was like 9-ish?) by my brother who found out about it through some unknown and mysterious ways. back then i had very limited internet access (meaning i could only visit sites that could be loaded by the internet app on my nintendo dsi), so i pieced together a bit of a plot from what i could find on google images. i wasnt able to fully read the comic until i was 13 (i had to BEG my mom to pay for the pdfs lol), but it had kinda always existed in the back of my mind ever since i was introduced to it. i decided a little over a year ago to start out the tumblr blog because i had recently read through the comic again and was really sad about just how hard it is (or i guess WAS now) to find a lot of things related to the comic. as the name of the blog suggests, its original purpose was to preserve/archive warrior u stuff so it could be more accessable to your average internet user who might not wanna go digging through internet archives. it was originally for official content EXCLUSIVELY, but myne talked me into also including fan-made content (and im glad he did, its WAY harder to find some fan content than i remember it being just a few years ago). its kinda hard to tell how good of a job it does at BEING that archive, but i like to think it could be useful to someone out there.

i had toyed with the idea of finishing the last official story arc- ambrosia- near the beginning of the blogs lifespan, but i knew that it was too big of a project for me to do myself. i didnt wanna dissapoint people by leaving the ALREADY unfinished arc STILL unfinished. i had written in the "about" section of the blog that the dream was a full fandom revival, but i didnt actually expect that to happen. when myne joined the blog we eventually started playing with the idea of finishing ambro. i forget how exactly we officially decided we would do it, but we did! at some point near the beginning of ambro, we had also decided we were gonna write our own fan-arcs and post those too, and the rest is history!

What was it about warrior u that made you say "this is it. i need to make more content of this."

Coffee: honestly? i think it was just how much i enjoy introducing people to the comic. i already make tons of fan content on my own time, so that wasnt really the crazy part. i had shown a couple of my mutuals the comic after i re-read it, and the feeling of seeing other people actually talk about and even make ART of warrior u was absolutely surreal. i guess thats what happens when you just silently admire a dead fandom for years LMAO! another big part of it was HOW the comic ended. after taking a hiatus, the creator ended the comic mid-arc because creating it just wasnt enjoyable anymore, and thats obviously completely fair. however, the arc it ENDED on was elaborating on the backstory of one of (if not THE) most popular characters at the time (and my personal favorite), so i had always wished that the issue could have been finished. its kinda hard to put into words, but finishing ambrosia was like a love letter to the comic and its creator to me. as flawed as the plot of that arc may be (and as unsatisfied with it as the creator was, at least back then) i still felt like it deserved to be finished. it was like fixing an old toy from your childhood, i felt like we were taking care of the comic in a way, giving it the love it deserves. maybe thats just my tendency to personify objects and get overly attached to them coming through, but hey thats how it is sometimes LMAO

Myne: When the comic was still on hiatus after the harddrive crash, some people had asked Aisha if she wanted to hand the series over to other artists to help her. She said she wouldn’t even know where to begin that process or if she’d wanted to do it. I would have offered then, but my skills as an artist and a writer weren’t nearly as strong. I held onto the drafts thinking, one day I’d do it. 

Myne: After Coffee and I started talking I realized, I can do it now. I know what kind of style of pens were used, and I whipped up a page, just the line art and sent to Coffee as a thank you. I thought, it isn’t much, and it’ll take me forever to color everything, but if there’s one person willing to read it, I’ll try. When I explained how difficult it’d be for me to color, he offered to do it for me. Suddenly a page that would take a month for just me to do on my own took 3 days.

Myne: Something, that seemed like a monumental task became a realistic goal. We were able to find, restore, and edit 45 pages within a few months. I’m still amazed we were able to do weekly updates without missing a day. Coffee asked if I’d ever be willing to write fan issues while we were working, not realizing I was the author of the longest fics in the series. Of course I said yes. Seeing Warrior U get finished, even through fan creation, was something I’d wanted to see for years.

You're from Az right, how is the webcomic weeb culture over there as opposed to california?

Myne: Idk about much about Cali, I've noticed the cons are more... professional? Where as Arizona cons have more of a fanclub vibe. Most panels are hosted by your fellow nerds rather than sony or production companies. I will say, that it's become more common and widespread in the last ten years, with multiple anime specific events year round. Back when I was a kid, I'd get made fun of for drawing 'japanese' people all the time.... it was pokemon fanart... Where as nowadays, I feel the average kid recognizes most big name titles thanks to hulu and such. 

What are your favorite anime/manga/webcomics and do any inspire your work?

Coffee: not really an anime, manga, or webcomic, but ive always been super inspired by the "scott pilgrim" series. when i was in middle school i was SUPER into it, reading all the behind the scenes stuff i could find. it even made me look into "comic illustrator" as a career option, but i also did the same thing with "game designer" and "animator" so yknow. as for webcomics, the only one i ever really got into was homestuck. side note- the overlap of oldschool homestuck fans and warrior u fans is FASCINATING to me. my current theory is that all these tumblr kids were looking for other webcomics to read while homestuck was on one of its MANY hiatuses(?) and so a bunch of them flocked to warrior u! theres tons of homestuck crossover content and references in fan art on our blog (some of the art styles also look homestuck-ajacent) so its at least clear that a lot of fans back then were also really into homestuck. ANYWAYS other than that i havent really read many other webcomics tbh? weird considering i MAKE one now but what can i say, im more of a Gamer than anything lol. as for anime, my favorite is easily keroro gunso (or sgt. frog if youre using the dub name)! its another thing i discovered when i was young (this time i was like 8) and have just never gotten over. theres a lot of Questionable stuff in it (prime example is an adult alien being madly in love with a 14 year old girl) but if i dont look at canon its not real so i love it anyways <3.i honestly dont know how many people really know about it since the western fanbase is so small, but its like HUGE in japan (or at least it was at one point, the titular keroro has a cameo in lucky star as a keychian) and the manga is still running to this day iirc. it was created by mine yoshizaki and the basic premise is that a platoon of frog-like aliens come to earth to take it over but they really suck at it. they begin living with humans and from there its kind of a mix between a slice-of-life and monster-of-the-week anime. i cant really say anything in depth about the manga because ive only read the first 5 issues of it, which are basically the same as the anime (fake fan smh), but ive heard that it gets more mature and serious than the anime does (which i guess is bound to happen when it goes on for so long). also the manga has some ecchi moments and blood used for slapstick purposes so if anyone wants to check it out just keep that in mind lol.

Myne: Obviously Warrior U. I'm a bit of a visual novel fiend, so Danganronpa is a series I've found a lot of inspiration from over the years. More recently  Though for the comic, I draw mostly from late 80s / early 90s high fantasy. Things like Labyrinth and Robinhood: Men in Tights. Honestly anytime I get stuck trying to come up with a gag, I look to Mel Brooks. 

So in continuing someone else's work, do you feel a sense of pressure to be just as good as the original?

Coffee: i definitely felt that way when it came to ambrosia, but i feel a lot less pressure when it comes to our upcoming issues. i wrote and made thumbnails for a few small scenes in ambro and i was SO SCARED of those scenes being noticably worse than the rest of the issue. i know the original creator has seen our version of ambro and those scenes by extention, but i dont know her exact thoughts on them. im satisfied with them but theres probably always gonna be that kinda star-struck stage feeling at the thought of the creator reading the scenes i wrote. its like getting stage fright. for our upcoming issues i dont feel as much pressure because theyre fully fan-written. our comics arent official in any sense of the word and theyre basically just fanfiction with extra steps, so its not nearly as stressful as trying to tie together an "official" story. there definitely WOULD be that pressure if we were ever given the rights to warrior u or something (which i dont want to happen) because then it WOULD be official yknow? also if the creator decides to keep up with what we post ill feel a bit more pressure, but i get the feeling that she wants to distance herself from warrior u a bit so im not sure how likely that would be.

Myne:  I do. Partially because, the fan content we’re making is completely free while the original series is purchasable on gumroad. So there’s a chance that some people may start with what we’re working on, then go backwards to the original.  I'm hyper aware of the tonal shift that's about to happen, no matter how much I try, I can't perfectly emulate someone else's writing style. The best I can do is capture the spirit of it. I just keep repeating "it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be". It's a little harder taking that advice now that it's my scripts we're turning into issues. There is some freedom in knowing the series was never meant to be perfect though.

What drove you to writing the longest fanfiction for the series and how did it feel to be recognized and promoted by the original creator?

Myne: When I was younger, I would write fanfic instead of paying attention in class, and I really wanted a full story about the leads getting together. Knowing that the creator was reading every fanfic at the time added more fuel to the fire. I had a guaranteed audience, the audience. I was so grateful that she recommended it to other fans. That fic was 25k, I've written about 100 K in the last year to help maintain interest in addition to new pages to the comic. To that I blame hyperfixation and hiatus brain. You have to be the biggest fan of the thing you're making.

So i see the that most of your work including the webcomic Warrior U is on tumblr why did u choose to promote om tumblr as opposed to other webcomic outlets like webtoons, mangadex etc?

Coffee: the answer to this one is actually pretty simple; i already had a warrior u blog and tumblr is the social media/blogging site that im most familiar with! we have recently started using comicfury and tapas, but that was entirely mynes idea. im personally pretty content with just hanging out in my little corner of the internet so any attempts to expand or get the word out is mostly (if not entirely) mynes doing LOL!

Myne: It's interesting you bring up those two actually. Webtoons recently come under fire for being pretty crummy to it's indie comics, particularly if you write in any genre other than romance. Mangadex is a pirating website, so most of the comics there are fan translations rather than uploads from the creators : they had a pretty bad data breach a few years back too. At first we only had permission from the creator to upload on tumblr. Once we got permission to move forward with the fanmade run, we branched out to tapas and comicfury. They seemed like the best options for the genre and style we write in. Even still, we see about double the growth in readership on tumblr as opposed to the other outlets, and I think that's mostly because the blog updates daily, even though we only publish one page a week.

Do you have any plans on creating your own webcomic/manga?

Coffee: yes and no. i sometimes draw small fan comics and id like to make more polished and "finished" ones in the future, but nothing with any kind of overarching plot, at least not in the near future. i have a very hard time making original content for whatever reason. i DO have one (1) personal project that is completely original, but i plan on making a game with that. then again i have NO idea what im doing with that project anymore so who knows, maybe one day i WILL decide to turn it into a comic! only time will tell…

Myne: I have a visual novel I'm working on. It's about teen super villains that have to go to reform school. Think teen titans meets gifted kid burnout. The game's been in development hell since our first alpha build and writing about apocalyptic civil unrest wasn't as fun as it was pre 2020. We're about 200k into the draft for the full game and we're having to switch engines, which means cutting a bunch of features, but we're slowly getting there. If that fails, I'll try adapting the story into a comic.

To those people who will see this and decide to strut down the path of comic creation what is some advice you can give them?

Coffee: i think the most HELPFUL advice i could give would be this: you dont have to do everything by yourself. i personally have taken tons of inspiration from indie artists/game designers/etc. some prime examples of this are daisuke amaya aka pixel (who created cave story) and toby fox (who created undertale and deltarune), who both made incredible pieces of art that were defining to me as a person when i discovered them either entirely alone or almost entirely alone. you hear stories all the time of these great pieces of art being made by one or two people, and ive always wanted to be like that. as a result ive alwasy had a hard time reaching out for help when it comes to my art, feeling like if i cant do it all alone that itll never be as good as it could be. as a result though, all this mindset does is keep things from actually getting done and needlessly stress you out. NONE of the warrior u comics would exist if i had never gotten help from myne, and the blog would have probably gone inactive a LONG time ago too. i think thats the biggest lesson ive learned from this whole thing personally. theres absolutely no shame in working with a team of people if thats what needs to happen to see a project be realized.

Myne:  One, try not to put more than 8 panels on a page, that's helped me a bunch with page layout. And two, find someone you can show your work to. That can be a friend, a mutual online, a family member; as long as you have that one person asking "what happens next" you can keep writing. The stories/comics I have that are the longest are because of that. 

What inspires your art and what would u say you consider your style to be?

Myne: Invader Zim, Danganronpa, and Pacthesis have heavily influenced my art style. (pacthesis made a series of free dating sims on deviant art). I've always considered my art style to be pretty shoujo manga, but lately some of my pieces have been labeled too western for weeb spaces.

What advise can you give the next person who wants to draw art and share it with the world?

Coffee: i give the same advice to everyone i meet that says theyre thinking of making art in any form, and i mean it from the bottom of my heart: DO IT! im so in love with art of all kinds and the process of creating it, and i think that getting into any creative hobby is nothing but a good thing and i deeply believe that everyone should do it. whether you wanna draw, write, make music, develop games, sculpt, knit, etc, do it! quality doesnt matter at all, you can make the most technically awful thing in the world but as long as you enjoyed the process of creating it then it still has value. dont be nervous about your art being good enough. if you dont want to share it then you arent obligated to! i dont share like 90% of the stuff that i make but i still create art almost every single day! recently my qpp (queerplatonic partner) has gotten into drawing and im SO happy for them. they primarily use mspaint and a mouse to draw and their art is SO adorable and i love it so much, and im not just saying that because i love them. it doesnt matter what skill level you start at or what tools you have, you can always start making art. and dont compare the art that you make to others art, which i know from experience is a VERY easy trap to fall into. i dont have as much to say about that point because im not as passionate about it but uhhh yeah :3

Myne: Social media algorithms are not going to make you happy; no matter how well you play the game and low engagement does not mean you're a bad artist. If you keep posting and talking to other artists, you'll find your audience.

So at wonder con where we met ylu were cosplaying power from chainsaw man with a group of girls who were cosplaying other chainsaw characters. Do you girls normally group up and cosplay and if so how did you get into it?

Myne:  I was born into cosplay. My parents were gamers and cosplayers, and I started picking my own characters to cosplay when I was 14. I started getting more into it in college when I could find other people to cosplay with, it wasn't until this year I started aiming for photoshoots. I tend to be in at least one large group cosplay a con, and bring a different costume every day.

What was your favorite cosplay you've done?

Myne: It's a toss up between Persona 5 Joker and Alluring Secret Rin. Those were the ones I put the most work in that still hold up. Though I'm currently working on Eris from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and that may overtake them.

Have you ever thought to cosplay someone from Warrior U?

Myne:  I do actually! I've cosplayed as the main character Finn a few times. I really like taking simplified designs from comics/cartoons and turning them into heavily detailed looks. '

Where do you see warrior u being in 5 years from now?

Coffee: man, honestly if were STILL working on this project 5 years from now that would be CRAZY. this is already the longest ive worked on a single project before, along with being the most ive ever gotten DONE for a project, so thinking about what it could be like in 5 years is like. WOW. by that point we would have archived most (if not ALL) of the older stuff we could find, so our blog would probably just be new pages and fan interaction if were still going! the dream is still for a full fandom revival, and weve already got a small active fanbase (of like 5 people but still) so who knows, maybe that dream will be a reality?

Myne: We have at least 3 years worth of story drafted and lined up, and even more outlined. So ideally still updating. By then, we'll have some physical releases of the finished arcs that we've written available for purchase online and at select events. The creator has said she has no interest in making physical releases of the original run. I'd love for that to change, but I respect her decision and I won't press the matter. I'm just grateful we have permission to sell anything we make using her characters. 

If you could go back in time 5 years, what advice would you give yourself?

Coffee: 15 and 16 were ROUGH ages for me tbh. i wont get into it because its super personal, but i was struggling with a lot and just generally not having a very good time. i think the best advice i could give to myself would just be that like. things will eventually get better. no matter how dark or hopeless things may be, theres always a silver lining and a light at the end of the tunnel. now if 15 year old me would have taken that to heart is a whole DIFFERENT question, but thats what i would say. 16 was like right before i (finally) started getting treatment for my mental health, so i think considering everything thats what i would say.

Myne: So many bad things happened during those five years, but… I wish I knew what burnout felt like, so I could recognize it. I have this tendency to put my self worth into “how much have you done today”, so once I started working full time and my father passed,  I couldn’t recognize that I was physically and emotionally exhausted some days and needed rest, so I’d just punish myself mentally for not being more motivated. You shouldn’t need permission to rest, and I felt like I had to. It’s healthy to ‘nothing’ sometimes, especially if you’re dealing with things you have no control over.

Coffee: thank you for interviewing myne and i for your podcast :D!! its absolutely wild to think that ive done anything interview-worthy and yet here we are! for anyone thats interested in the comic because of this, i also emplore you to go check out the creators current comic "si3lah" (pronounced like si-ayn-lah i think? the 3 is a stand-in for an arabic letter) on gumroad! it deserves way more attention than it currently has and you should 100% go support the original creator if you like the stuff we do (wink wink).

[jupitercl0uds-art]

anyway 2024 art summary!!!

14th january - surgamy hug (there are 3 versions but tumblr doesnt like when i put them all together for some reason, so here's the most normal one)

oh surgamy,,, ohhhhh,,, surgamy,,,,,,,,, surge,,,, and amy,,,,, ohhhhh

5th february - pov silver comes out to you

honestly i think silver looks really weird here but it was kinda the point. shame about the rainbow because everything else is really nice

22nd march - espilver dekuyama redraw

in retrospect the apple looks really goofy in proportion to everything else but whatever i had fun with it. i love my silver gijinka so much ughhhhhh

24th april - chaotix coloured sketch

goddddd i love the chaotix... this is one of my favourite drawings of them ive ever done and alas this was prior to becoming a can user vector truther

18th may - glitch the rat's one true love

from my glitch the rat daily blog, the first full illustration i did with my dip pen!!! glitch im so sorry i messed up. my darling creation i will hopefully try again in 2025 and likely fail because im pretty sure i have mocks around your birthday. also i love this because if i made this now the textures would have vastly improved now that im more comfortable with my dip pen

17th june - team chaotix doodles

they're detectives you want on your side! once again UGH i love these... i think this was 3 days after i finished high school for good. i was so happy and i'd basically just draw all the time cause i didnt have to do anything. thankfully sixth form holidays start earlier than high school holidays so i get this again for the next 2 years!!!

5th july - visions

there was SO MUCH art from july that it was kinda difficult to pick but i think this is one of the hardest pieces ive ever made (tbf it was my twitter pfp for several months). i love drawing in this slightly flatter art style because i actually finish my pieces

10th august - glitch ps2

there's loads of art from august that i just didnt post because well. i did A LOT of art in august and i was also on the move a lot so it was inconvenient. the funny thing about this is its off model. i forgot its sleeves :( but hey i still love this one

23rd september - tiger and moonlight w/ water soluble fineliner

september was the complete opposite. i didnt quite burn out, i DID do a lot of art, but a lot of that was for a level (which i cant post online yet) and i was just exhausted. like i would literally fall over from walking too much and i redeveloped my athsma. thankfully im back into the swing of things now lol. ANYWAY!!! tiger and moonlight are so beloved to me... im always shy to enter poll brackets and this was my first one so i was extra shy but god i wouldnt have it any other way... whole entire canon of an au edited because i love someone else's fankid so much. in that sense i feel kinda bad that i didnt really do much for blake because she was really cool but alas.

6th october - murders

effectively this was my first time making a composition after actually learning about what makes a good composition and. oh wow. i was so right. i do think i rendered amy a bit weird but at the same time i kinda like it that way??? and i dont care because the framing and colours... just too good. also yeah this piece is called murders in my files because it was based on the miracle musical song i just never called it that online (which was really annoying when looking for it)

3rd november - but we stay silly

incredibly personal piece despite the fact it doesn't look like it. for anyone who cant be bothered to find out (or can't remember if you actually did see it) this was about overcoming trauma relating to my sexual assault, hence the reason they're in school uniform and silver's hair is cut. also hence the panromantic pride pin despite the fact i think silver is gay

5th december - 'tis the season

1,000,000/10. my magnum opus. incredible. amazing.

thanks to everyone who's been here this year!!! i think, once again, ive really grown as an artist after how stagnant late 2021-mid 2023 was. im really starting to get Serious with it now, seeing as im in my a level years and will (hopefully) be going to art school soon. hopefully 2025 will be even better!

[essiekuko]

the pieces of jennifer's body

i told them, it was all a ruse to get them closer to me so i can learn their secrets. i'd know their secrets to be able to have something to use against them in the future if they were to cross me....like they would ever cross me, right? literally immature and petty behaviour coming from year 9 me. and the year after i was so desperate for close friendships ha. anyway, yeah. did i finish explaining the beef between harold and jewel? probably not. okay, so with harold and jewel, i told harold what jewel said abt him (that she thinks he's using our friend group for popularity) and he wanted to take it to the counsellor's. like omfg. what is everyone's obsession with taking shit to the counsellor's. anyway, we took it to the counsellor's and i was being so fake and shit. harold and i met up with the counsellor beforehand, and she sent me to go fetch jewel from class. i went to go get jewel from class to come to our meeting, and i didn't answer any of her questions the whole time we walked there. so jewel and harold talked it out, and i thinkkkk jewel they did work things out but they obviously still have their suspicions about each other. so that was beef...! little miss world wanted to be the drama starter so bad, she just went about ruining friendships and lives and what not just to cause some drama for her own entertainment. at least thats what she told herself, she just wanted to feel powerful is all. like that one scene where regina george finishes spreading the burn book pages all across school, and she stands amidst the chaos with her arms crossed and a smug little smile on her face, i used to idolise that scene heavy and attempted to recreate that feeling, the power and control i could have over others. in year 8, the start of being miss world until her untimely demise in year 9 (courtesy of lockdown), i broke up a couple by being the middle girl once again. i hear both parties gossiping about one another, and then as the messenger and supposed 'peace bringer' cause i'm on good terms with both parties, i have the uppermost hand and im able to manipulate the situation however i want it to go. one of my best friends, leila, was dating yasin. she asked him out first, but later on in their relationship yasin told me that he felt pressured to accept her love confession, and was pretty much desperate for a new relationship after his previous failed one, so he accepted her love confession and began dating leila even without the love, just for the image of them two being together. and there's thing funny thing little about love. theres all kinds of love, and the love yasin had for leila was like the love a singer would have for their fans. the singer only loves the fans because they love the singer, its like a narcissistic thing. i told leila, and i was coming from a good place yk, i love leila and shes a dear friend, i didnt want to just stand idly by while i knew their relationship was built on one-sided love, and that yasin just wants to be admired by her. they broke it off, and i guess i was to blame??? for good reason....rightttt??? idk, maybe i shouldnt have said anything. i got them to talk it over at least. like, so they dont end things off on a sour note. the next year the girls and i (older girl friend group) were discussing love and crushes and shit, and i found it hard to relate, so i took the discussion as an opportunity to further fuel my little miss world title, looking ruthless and cutthroat and what not. i lied to my girls that i broke up leila and yasin because i secretly liked yasin and was jealous of leila's relationship with him. yeah. i said that. those words exited my mouth. see this is why i look back at my younger years with such annoyance. anyway, i've made my peace with all though. i don't regret many things in life, and i try not to have regrets, because i believe everything u do in life all contributes to ur overall growth as a person. i just realised the aliases i came up with for yasin and leila sound just like yasu and reira from nana. and they were like a toxic little couple as well…!!

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