#i didnt read this over so sorry if theres mistakes

[irregodless]

the answer is yeah winston probably deserved all that but not everyone else

[serejae]

WE CANT BE FRIENDS | 23. SO FOR NOW ITS ONLY ME

(written + smau at the end)

prev | next

pairing : myungjae x fem!reader | genre : angst fluff | w.c 1309

a/n: cause if one day u wake up and find that ur missing me and ur heart starts to wonder where on this earth i could be thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd meet and you'll see me waiting for u on he corner of the street (if u understand kiss me).

10 things i hate about you + the notebook references

wrote this while i was sick so if u hate u hate sick ppl | @onedoornet

mstl

taglist @lilriswife4life @cherrytaesan @tubatu-lovie @woonsbot @guiltysungho @taylorluvation @kage-yaa @lionhanie @dearly-somber @nicholasluvbot @nujeskz @unhakki @lblossom21 @kirbyyluvs @seunghancore @nctrawberries @i03jae @icewons @miidorei @hanbinniesmango @dongminz @helpsplease @sol3chu @letwiiparkjay @woorcve @brachioswrld

riwoo and taesan laid on jaehyuns bed watching him spin on his chair

“i dont know what to do…do i just give up?? she already has jeong-“

“gosh please dont say his name.” taesan grumbled

“i cant stand hearing him one more time without seeinf his feet in my face.” taesan looked up at the ceiling. riwoo sat up looking at jaehyun

“sorry, but theres no point in chasing after yn anymore” jaehyun put his head in his hands

“what do you mean theres no point? you did all this work just to end up back at no where?” riwoo stood up and walked towards jaehyun

“maybe this was just some dumb lesson that this will be a mistake ill have to live with for the rest of my life”

riwoo saw the tears start to form in jaehyuns eyes and sighed

“jaehyun do like yn or not?”

jaehyun nodded

“and was she worth all this trouble?”

“she is but jaehyun-“

“STOP IT!” taesan yelled

“jeong jaehyun” riwoo started

“STOP” they both looked over at the black haired boy sprawled out on the bed

“he isnt half the man you are and he certainly isnt the man for yn. go.

go get your girl.”

jaehyun jumped to his feet and ran out the house

“is he gonna run to her house…?” taesan propped himself up

“love is love taesan”

-

the whole day moved in slow motion. between your thoughts on the date tonight, to the night with jaehyun. suddenly the clock fast forward and now it was 6:30. you were already ready, but not dressed as you were currently walking back and forth debating on going to the bathroom and washing your face and just going to bed and canceling the date.

just then the doorbell rings, mentally cursing yourself, the clock reads 6:37. why was jeong jaehyun so early? making your way to the door you peer it open slightly

"give me 5-"

"yn."

myung jaehyun stood out there and he seemed stressed, widening your door he walked in.

closing the door behind you, you stared at his back as he turned away.

"i knew you were debating on going on the date, yn...

go on the date.

go on the date with him"

you stayed silent and jaehyun turned around to you, walking up to you he grabbed your hand into his.

"do you miss me?" he asked staring into your eyes hoping for a clear answer

"i'm not sure how i feel...

i feel like that i like you but i dont know jaehyun"

he nodded and smiled slightly

"go with him"

"but you didnt-" you said eyebrows furrowed not wanting to betray jaehyun as he didn't go on his date

"i knew what i wanted yn, i wanted you, it's always been you. go on the date and if tomorrow, one day, one month, one year

fuck, just anytime if you even feel it in your bones that you miss me, come back to the place where we met and I'll be there. you don't have to know what you want. you don't have to feel like you want to forgive me or a relationship, but as long as you want me I'll be there for you to come back to. i'm not going anywhere

I'll wait as long as i need until you want me again."

the bell rang making you look over at the clock, 7:01. you turn back to jaehyun and see him nod. running back to your room you quickly get dressed and grab your things.

"i'll leave after you, i promise to lock your door"

smiling at him you open the door away from myung jaehyun.

-

it wasn't that the date was unenjoyable, it wasn't for you. jeong jaehyun didn't prioritize you. he didn't prioritize your opinions, feelings, or wants. he constantly talked about himself, his goodlooks, his trophies, his life, he just wasn't who you saw yourself waking up to every day. tapping the glass cup that was in front of you you ignored everything he said

while he was talking you heard something from the other table that made you dilute whatever jeong had to say.

"i think we should end things"

"what? are you serious?! after everything we've worked through and done together? youre just gonna throw it away?"

"its not that its just me. i just think this relationship will distract me from my job"

"hey...i'll be there for you, through the good and the bad. we never know until we try."

"i have no doubt youre going to be there for me, your that kind of person and that's why i love you, but I'm scared I'm going to hurt you."

"and you think ending things won't hurt me? even if its on good terms it might as well end on bad terms...

can you live without me?"

you see the other person shake their head

"then if you break up with me you're going to miss me either way. and come back, so why make it harder for yourself and mess up now when you don't even know? maybe we can work through it, i want this to be something that makes our relationship stronger, not harder.

cause thats what love is

and i love you, so much."

"yn?" jeong jaehyun asked

"yeah?" you said being knocked out of lalaland

"did you even listen to me talk about the history of football?"

"i- uh....

i need to go."

good thing you hadnt ordered anything yet because you took off running ignoring your name being called from jeong, you knew you had one place to go and one place to be

home

"wow shes a fast runner" jeong jaehyun said as he watched you run

-

"can you get out of my house"

woonhak groaned for the 47th time as jaehyun paced back and forth in his living room as he edited the new clips.

"so you told yn to go on the date with the other jaehyun and then you ran here just to walk around ?” woonhak asked resting his head on the couch pillow and staring at jaehyun peeking from the window

"i'm waiting for some...one" he said as he fixed the blinds trying to find the perfect angle "why are your blinds so stiff?" jaehyun complained

"i never open my blinds" woonhak shruged "so why are you waiting for yn at MY house?"

jaehyun looked over at woonak and spoke "we met here, when you introduced her to me that day."

"okay so why do you have to meet her here NOW?"

"you dont get true love do you?"

"i dont get maniacs"

"if she changes her mind this is the first place she will go-"

thats when woonhaks door gets banged on

jaehyun runs to the door and opens it, you jump to wrap your arms around him to which he wraps his arms around you

"can you live without me?" you asked as you look up at jaehyun

he shook his head

"good, cause i want you. and we're going to have to work though this together if you want me too...

i want this whole breakup thing to make our relationship stronger, i want us to last and I'm willing to fight for us because i want you and me to be the ideal image for romance, even during times when it gets hard for us. i just need you to not leave when it does..."

he nodded and smiled a bit

"i wont leave you anymore...

have you been listening to my music?" jaehyun called you out recognizing the lyrics

you let out a laugh "way to ruin the moment but maybe..."

"perfect."

you both turn to see woonhak filming with his phone

"oh i'm so passing this class!

okay i'm serious get out, both of you. also lock the door on your way out."

[nappingnai]

megumi drabble

angst with no comfort at all, hinted at itafushi, wc; 670, im sorry i love u guys, not proof read so if theres mistakes im sorrryyyy

itadori is gone, and gojo has been given a task from before his execution. to give megumi a handwritten letter. gojo wants to snoop and see what it says, but he knows its not smart.

the soft sound of knocking interrupts megumis thoughts, muttering a small "come in" as he makes himself look somewhat presentable. gojo strolls into his room, sighing as he lookd around.

"yuji wanted me to give you this." is all he says before turning around and leaving, unable to let megumi mutter a word or let a single noise escape his vocal cords. megumi looks at the paper— a small, off-white, folded up— signed by itadori. his messy, but pretty handwriting with small doodles around it. mainly just silly ones of megumi, or itadori himself.

it takes megumi a couple of moments before unfolding the paper, letting his eyes quickly scan over it to see what the main jist of it was before taking a deep breath and deciding to genuinely read through it.

"hey fushiguro! if you're getting this note, its quite obvious ive passed on. i dont wanna say i'll see you soon because i want you to live longer than i did, okay? ill see you someday, though. thats for sure. anyways, i dont really know how to go about this. all those books i borrowed, you can have them back, if you want. they should be in the drawer next to my bed, unless gojo-sensei cleared my room out already. i think he'll leave that to you, though? i did ask him too, but you cant get everything you want, yknow!

anyways, other than all that stupid stuff, i'll miss you. i would say to tell kugisaki i'll miss her too, but, i can tell her that myself now. im sorry for leaving so soon, but you still have gojo-sensei and some of the others. i know you're not a huge fan of communication or anything, but don't continue to be that person that sits in the corner at parties!! live life a bit. i get you're a sorcerer and you assume everything will always be shit, but you can still live. it wont kill you to not be a misanthropist for once in your life fushiguro.

dont drown yourself in guilt over this because there was nothing you could've done to stop it. i was going to meet my end whether you wanted it to be stopped or not. i always had a question, fushiguro. i lived a somewhat nice childhood for someone like me, but the question always ran through my head atleast once a year. was i raised without love, or was i unloveable? and i figured out the answer. i was raised with love, just not enough for me to feel like it. and im not unloveable because i know you loved me with every ounce of love your soul could provide to me.

i think this is long and sad enough already, so, moral of the note, thank you. tell gojo-sensei im sorry for having to leave so soon, but it was bound to happen. i lived an interesting life because of you. id rather die than never meet you. thank you for this, and i love you, megumi."

megumi had already balled up the piece of paper in his hand once finished with reading it, the tears lining his waterline threatening to fall. he let out a shitty attempt at a chuckle, which seemed to be the breaking point of it. instead of a chuckle, it was a choked back sob, making him cough a bit. he threw the paper, even if it didnt go very far. he sat on his bed and stared down, sobbing. he kept wiping his eyes to try and make the tears disappear, but they kept appearing as if nothing could stop them.

megumi went to bed that night with nothing but tears and a hole in his heart that he feels will never be filled until he sees itadori again.

(misanthropist - a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.)

[robinismywifee]

stargazing || e. williams

pairings ellie williams x fem!oc/reader carl grimes x oc x enid rhee (platonic bffs) daughter!oc x father!daryl dixon

summary TWD & TLOU crossover, takes place in alexandria basically if the group never met negan, daryl and aaron find joel and ellie and bring them in, 16 y/o ellie, mention of a not that important death in season 6 of TWD

warnings NSFW, dom!ellie, fingering, pet names (babe), smoking weed, mentions of drinking, ellie & oc are both virgins

a/n im mainly saying oc instead of reader because im using a name for her, (aimees/aime) cause i hate writing y/n but feel free to pretend its your name instead! any feedback & notes are appreciated, you may send requests but they have to be TWD or TLOU charaters x reader otherwise i wont do them, (no promises in general) this is my first tumblr post still trying to figure tumblr, out sorry if i fucked it up or something, i also dont proof read so theres probably a couple mistakes sorry 😭

wordcount 7.5k

carl placed down a red uno card, i smiled at that, placing down my red 5, "uno!" i shouted, holding the card close to my chest so they couldnt peek, my smile was soon dropped as enid placed down a green 2, i stood up placing my card down, revealing my red 4 to them, "i already lost" i mumbled, "rage quiter" carl called me, "im not a rage quitter! im just done playing with cheaters" i crossed my arms

"you so are a rage quitter aimees!" enid exclaimed, "and you so are a cheater!" i exclaimed back, "how are we cheating?" carl asked, "uh, cause you guys just are" i shrugged

"yeah right" carl scoffed jokingly

i watched them as they finished playing their uno game, enid ended up winning, "what time is it?" enid asked as she collected the messy cards around the table and placed them in the box

"uhhh.." i stood up, peeking my head in the kitchen to check the clock, "9:45" i yawned, i had woken up at 5am to go on a run and my eyes were getting heavy, ive been waiting for dad to get back but he hasnt yet.

"i think im gonna head back" i said, one thing about me is that even after being here for almost a year now, i still havent gotten use to sleeping in a real bed, at night in a real house, and i still have yet to call where i was staying, 'my home'

"yeah, me too" enid stood up aswell, "uhm.. enid?" i asked her, she knew what i was about to ask immediately, i hated sleeping alone, anytime my dad was out, i would ask enid to sleepover with me

enid gave me a sad-eyed look, "im sorry amiees, but i told maggie and glenn i'd be home for tonight" i shook my head with a small smile, "no worries, goodnight enid" i waves her off, she gave me a slight nod before she existed the house

i walked into the kicthen, carl was placing the snacks away, "hey" i said, he looked over his shoulder, his white eyepatch covering his old wound, "hey, i thought you weny home, whats up?" he asked, turning to face me

"could you please stay with me tonight? daryl hasnt gotten back yet, and enid needed to get home" i asked, "yea, let me just write my dad a note" he nodded with a smile

-

"hey, aimees" i heard a voice shake me awake, the sudden touch made me shot up and pull out my pocket knife that was under my pillow, but i immediately put it down when i realized it was just carl

"shit, you scared me" i panted, placing my knife back under my pillow, "sorry, i didnt mean to, but its almost 6:30 and im pretty sure your dads home" he said, his eye was tired and his hair was scruffy, meaning he had just woken up, but the topic of my dad made me shot out of bed, only in my socks, pajama plaid pants, and a thickstrap white tanktop without a bra, carl wore a grey hanley shirt and sweatpants

i opened up my door and ran down the steps, my dad was in the kicthen, talking to some other people but i didnt really care about them or have time to see who it was, i just ran up to my dad and hugged him which he of course hug back

"fuck you, you said you'd be back in a day!" i exclaimed as i pulled away, "i know, im sorry aimees, the storm slowed us down" he replied looking down at me, i knew the reason why he took an extra day was because of the rain storm but i couldnt care less, i still worried the worse possible thing

"i dont really care dad, you still said a day" i said with my head tilted, i wasnt actually mad, and he knew that, i was just annoyed that it took longer then normal and missed him

"yeah, i know, i missed you too" he rubbed my back gently, "can we have breakfast together? or are you gonna go back out again" i asked, "uh.." he hummed, i sighed, thinking he had to go back out again, but his gaze was around the room and not on me, i thought maybe he was looking at carl, but im always with either him or enid when he gets back

i turned my head to see what he was looking at, 2 people i've never seen before stood awkwardly a couple feet away from me, there was a man about the same age as my dad, and a girl about my age, the girl wore a white tanktop similar to mine with a white bandage around her right arm, with black skinny jeans, and converse. she had a side bang and her brown hair in a ponytail

"uh-" i stood there for a moment, before looking back to my dad, "are these the people?" i asked, he nodded slightly, i glanced back over to them, and back at my dad, "why are they here?" i asked, over the months, my dad and aaron have been bringing people and even a whole community back, they never once came to our house right, i mean maybe a few says after to stop by and say thanks or whatever, but they had just gotten here and were standing in our kicthen, dirt and sweat stuck to their skin

"ricks still out with michonne so i was tellin them the rules, and you're gonna give ellie some of your clothes" he pointed briefly at the girl, i turned back around, i nodded, i turned my head back to see carl standing there awkwardly too, "im ellie" the girl waved, her face was red, she. must be hot, i went to intruduce myself but the girl bumped her elbow into the man, motioning for him to intruduce himself, "im joel" he said, "hi.. im carl" carl said, standing behind me, "im aime" i smiled, i was actually quite happy dad brought home a girl my age, although carl and enid denied them dating, i still felt like i was always third wheeling

"aimees, why dont you go show them to their house next door, i havent slept in days" i didnt have time to reply as he walked off

"okay.." i mumbled, i looked down to my pajamas hanging over my socks, "uh, could you guys give us a second?" i asked, looking at joel and ellie, joel gave a stern nod, i looked over at carl, grabbing his wrist and led him away with me, i could feel the girls eyes on me as i left.

"i hated meeting new people before the dead started walking, and i hate it even more now" i whispered to carl as we walked up the steps, "yeah, i can tell" he said sarcastically, i shoved him as he hit the wall which made us both laugh

carl changed in my bathroom, as i changed in my room, putting on jeans, a bra, my shoes, and my holster with my gun and knife

"you coming with me to give them a tour right?" i asked carl, looking at him, "nah" he shrugged, i hit his shoulder, "yes you are" i yelled whispered, before we entered the kitchen, joel was in the same spot, while ellie was close up at an old family photo of me, my dad, and my mom

"sorry for the wait, we just woke up" i spoke, causing ellie and joel to look up from my sudden voice, "lets go" i nodded, as they followed me out my house

"uh, so, your guy's house is right next to mine" i said as i began to walk up the steps of the empty house, "hey aimees, im gonna go see if enid and maggie need help with the fence" he said from behind joel and ellie, ellie glanced at carl, but joels eyes stayed locked on ellie, i slowly died inside when he said that, i could tell ellie was looking at me but i still flipped off carl as he walked away with a smirk

"so where you guys from?" i asked, "houston" joel answered, that explains the accent, "boston" ellie answered, i looked at them confused, "oh you guys arent father and daughter? how do you know each other?" i asked, "long story" ellie answered, "okay, well, i mean.. this is your house, uhh, i dont think theres any blankets in your bedrooms and theres not any food, clothes or shower stuff, so you guys can like, i dont know, get situated? while i ran around alexandria and collect you guys a bunch of shit" i shrugged, unsure of what else to say

they both nodded, "ill try not to take to long, ill be back in maybe 30 minutes?" i said, unsure myself of how long it would take, "okay, thank you aime" joel nodded, "oh, uh, i know i introduced myself as aime but actually call me aimees, nobody calls me aime its actually kinda weird.. okay, see you" i said as i speed walked out the house

i walked in my house and let out the biggest sigh.

that was the most awkwardest thing ever.

i walked to my room, and took out about half my clothes for ellie, she only had a small school bookbag, so she probably only had a pair of underwear and some socks in there, if she was gonna live here now, she needed clothes

i folded them up, i was giving her my dark blue tanktop with spaghetti straps that was starting to fade, a grey tanktop with thick straps, a tan hanley that was too tight to fit me, a plaid flannel, light blue jeans, jean shorts, plaid pajama pants, 2 pairs of underwear, a black bra, and a pair of thick white socks. i hope thats good enough

i grabbed a basket and set everything in it, i opened the closet next to my bathroom, placing body washes, shampoos, and conditioners in the basket, along with 2 toothbrushes, 2 things of toothpaste, and a razor and tampons for ellie

i figured i'd drop what i had off right now since they we're probably dying for a shower, plus the basket was over flowing

i knocked on there door, but nobody came, i went to knock again but a voice from inside came- "COMING!" i could tell by the voice that it was ellie, as joels is 10 times deeper and has no emotion

i waited for a moment before the door opened, "hi ellie" i greeted, she stood there looking at me for a moment, she seemed she was deep in thought, "oh! sorry, come in" she said, opening the door wider, i smiled walking in, she shut the door behind me, "i- i dont have everything right i just brought clothes and shower stuff since i figured that was probably the first thing you would want to do, and while your showering i was gonna get the rest" i said, basket in hand

"oh- right- yeah, thank you" she said, taking the basket from me, "i didnt bring any clothes for joel cause i dont know where to get him any and my dad was asleep, but ill work on finding him stuff" i added, she nodded looking up at me, "hes passed out right now, and probably will be for the rest of the day" she shrugged, i laughed at her saying it so serious, she laughed with me, "okay, well, enjoy your shower.. im supposed to tell you to not use up too much hot water, but knock yourself out, i mean, i know on my first day i did" i said before i left her house

-

its been a 3 days since ellie and joel joined alexandria, ellie hasnt really gone outside at all, i havent really seen her since the first day of her being here, only through our windows, our rooms are both upstairs and our windows face eachother, they have blinds but i didnt realize her room was the one across from mine until i was about to sneak out of my window for a smoke the other night

joel been out a lot more then ellie, asking ways to help out, joel was scary, i avoided him, but to be fair, i avoided everyone who wasnt from the orginal group or who wasnt in alexandria when we got there

just like deanna had done for us way back at the start, carol was throwing a welcome party for ellie and joel, i knew carol didnt really care for them joining us, it was just her way of making herself seem like an innocent sweetheart. i admired her tactics, but i definitely was not looking forward to it.

"you guys are going to the party right?" i asked carl and enid, "my dads gonna make me" carl answered, i looked over to enid, she shrugged, "i dont know"

carl smiled, as we both looked at enid for an answer, "still don't know if ill go, i always thought it was stupid and weird when deanna had them and now carols having them?" enid said, "okay well, youll be missing out" i sighed

-

here i was, walking to the house with open doors and music pouring out of it, my dad was by my side, "you know, ellies also 16, you should try to be friends with her" he said, "yea, yea, yea, i know thats the only thing youve been telling me for the past 2 weeks, 'oh youll love her, you guys would be best friends, she annoys the shit out of this guy like how you annoy the shit out of me'" i mocked my dads deep voice, thinking back to how he would come back from spying on them to see if they were safe and tell me about ellie

"she hasnt come out of her shell yet, but i do really think you'd make a great pair" he said as we walked into the house, "im gonna go get a drink and find rick, go find ellie" he pushed me into the crowd, i scoffed, he acts like hes social when i know damn well the only people he'll be talking to is rick and carol.

i searched the crowd for carl, i couldnt find him but i did see ellie with her arms crossed talking with joel, she looked so uncomfortable and so did he, god do i feel bad

i walked through the crowd, making my way to them, while i was making my way to them, some people pulled joel away to get a drink- or whatever adults do

ellie looked clueless

"hey" i said, placing a hand on her shoulder to let her know i was there over the loud music, she jumped and looked at me, "oh, hi" she said, i could hear the nervousness in her voice, "im sorry about all this, you're practically being forced to go somewhere you dont want go to and forced to talk with people you dont know, i told rick and carol you guys werent the party type but they insisted it was the 'polite thing to do'" i explained, putting airquotes for my last words

ellie seemed to soften a bit at my words, "uh- yea, its just super weird going to a party when 5 days ago you were sweating your ass off trying to find a place to stay the night" she said, looking around, "yeah, trust me, i know how you feel, we didnt create this place, me and my group got taken in by aaron and his boyfriend, the leader at the time was named deanna, she threw a party for us too, and when she died, the leader of my group took over to be the leader of alexandria.. rick" i explained

"wheres your boyfriend?" ellie randomly asked, i furred my brows, "what?" i asked, "uh, the one with the long hair and eyepatch" she asked, "carl?" i asked in a high pitch questioning voics, "oh, yeah, carl" she nodded, "carl?" i asked again, she thinks im dating carl? "yeah?" she asked confused, "oh god, me and carl are like siblings, never in infinity years would we ever date! im gonna puke just thinking of that!" i exaggerated, "oh sorry, its just, my first day here, you guys came out of the same room together in your pajamas and stuff"

"oh! yea, he just slept over, i hate being alone" i explained, "me too" she said with a smile, "sorry, but can we please go somwhere else? i cant stand this crowd" i asked, she nodded, i took her hand in mine, dragging her through the crowd until i found carols bedroom, she wouldnt mind us being in here

"what do you like? any hobbies?" i asked, sitting on the edge of carols bed, ellie sat down next to me, "i love comics, joel somehow finds the best ones, and i have a notebook that i write and draw in" she said happily, "oh no shit? i love comics and drawing too!" i said back with a smile

"so have you and joel been with each other for awhile? he seems pretty protective over you" i asked, "just like, 3 years, but i cant imagine my life without him" she smiled, "i cant imagine my life without my dad, or without a lot of the orginal group, like rick, glenn, carl, carol, maggie, michonne, half the people here are my family"

-

i spent the whole night talking with ellie, she was actually really nice and funny, we told eachother a bunch of our crazy/scary stories from over the years, and what it was like for life before it

carl and enid never showed up, i told her a lot about them, more so carl since me and carl have been together since the start, we grew up together and i dont know what i would do if he died

but we had stayed after hours not realizing the party ended, still in carols room, she opened the door with an exhausted look, she didnt notice us, me and ellie side eyed eachother before we bursted out laughing

that seemed to be a reoccurring occurrence between the two of us, we both kept on bursting out laughing at stupid stuff

but at the sight of ellie, carol put on her sweetheart face again, "oh! girls, im sorry i didnt know you were in here" she said, bringing a hand to her chest, "the parties over?" i asked, after calming down from laughter, "yes, it just ended, and joel was looking for you ellie, you better get back home before he starts to worry more" carol said with a smile, "yeah, thanks for the party mrs.." ellie said as we stood up, "just call me carol, oh and you too aimees, daryl was wandering around for you" she smiled with a nod

and with that me and ellie left her house, as soon as we got out of her house i let out a giggle, "its the end of the world and you're still worried about manners?" i thought outloud, thinking back to how she tried to call carol mrs, "hey! you never know, some adults are really strict about that stuff" she defended

"okay, i guess ill see you tomorrow?" i asked, as we made it infront of her house, "yea sound-" ellie was interrupted with joel yelling her name, "ellie! i looked everywhere for you! where were you? i havent seen you since the party started-"

i just smiled at joels protectiveness and slipped myself away and went back to my house

"hey dad" i smiled, seeing him on the couch, "oh good, i was waiting for you to come back so i could sleep" he said getting up, "you seem happy?" he questioned, i hated parties, so this was weird that i was smiling a bunch after one, "yeah! i hung out with ellie the whole time, shes really funny! i really like her" i said with a hudge grin, "told you, you'd like her" he nodded, not supprised

"so was it just the two of you or was carl and enid there? i didnt see them tonight" he asked, now leaning against the kitchen counter, "just us, i have no idea where carl and enid are, which kind of sucks since i wanted ellie to meet them, but also its good because i really enjoyed hanging out with her alone" i said, my voice bright from talking with ellie for hours

"im glad you had fun" he nodded with a smile, "oh! do you wanna know what! now when i hangout with carl and enid, ellie will be there, so i dont have to third wheel, i mean they were always being so gross infront of me like complimenting each other and stuff, like ew, and now me and ellie can be grossed out together!" i said happily, my dad laughed, "im glad we found ellie and joel too, can you please tell me more in the morning over breakfast? im ready for bed"

"yea, of course, goodnight dad, i love you" i said, giving him a quick hug, "love you sweetheart, get to bed too, its way past when you should be asleep" he said, kissing me on my head, "yea.. yea, whatever" i mumbled sarcasticly as he walked to his bedroom

i turned off the lights and went to my bedroom, i unbuttoned my jeans and went to pull them off when i felt something in my pocket, i sighed, forgetting i had it, as i pulled out the bag of joints

this would have been perfect for me and ellie, would of been 10x funner.

but, i wasnt tired, and now that i was holding up the rolled up cannabis, i really, really wanted it.

i thought about carl and enid, enids never been high before, but me and carl have a few times, and i don't even know where they are. maybe i can have just one joint to myself..

another thing i do on nights when im not tired, is go to my roof and look at the stars, usually while i smoke cigarettes but weeds even better.

i looked out my window to see that the sky was clear, i smiled to myself, i walked over and turned off my lamp, okay, only one. i placed the other two joints in the bag in between my folded shirt in my dresser, letting the one joint hang in between my lips

i opened up my window, cringing at the squeeked noise, i stuck my legs out, letting myself fall onto the roof, i climbed to the back of my house still on the roof so i was facing the big fence and not out in the open, the only way people would be able to see me is if someone specifically looked in my direction through ellies window

i pulled out my lighter and lit the weed, sucking the toxins into my lungs before blowing out

i sat there for a couple minutes looking at the stars above me, they always fasanated me, i looked to the moon, it was a full moon tonight, of maybe it was a just a full waning or waxing gibbous, i dont know to be honest

the sound of a window opening drawed my attention, i shot my head to the sound, joint in between my lips, to see ellie climbing out of her window

i watched as she hopped onto her roof, shutting her window, and hopped from her roof to mine, as our houses were really close together, she let out a pant, from being out of breath

"hey" she said as she stood there above me, she had already changed into pajamas, wearing plaid baggy ones that were too long for her, ones that were previously mine, and she wore the grey thick strapped tanktop i had also given her

her hair was down, something ive never seen of ellie, some of her auburn hair was over shoulders while some was on her back, they reached a couple inches unde her shoulders and her eyes glistened in the moonlight

"uh, aimees? you barley smoked any of that, you good?" she asked with a smile on her face, "oh, yea, im-" i started saying, realizing i just stared at her, but i spoke really loud as i talked not realizing how loud i was being, "shh! come on, i dont want joel or your dad to wake up" she whisper shouted

"right, sorry" i whispered back, she came over to me and sat down, "can i?" she asked, reaching her hand out, i passed her the joint, and watched her as she looked up to the sky, while taking a long drag of it, she closed her eyes as she sucked it, enjoying the feeling

my eyes were beading onto her, watching every detail on her face, the way her eyebrows slightly scrunched as she sucked in, or how she squeezed her eyes, how her soft pink lips fitted against the rolling paper. i was so close to her our shoulders were brushing against each other, and i noticed things about her that i havent noticed before, she had beautiful green eyes, ive noticed her eyes being not brown before, but now i could actually see what color they were, and her freckles complimented her face so well, they danced all around her cheeks and the tip of her button nose. i even got to exaime her brown eyebrows, i could see the slit she had through it, her eyebrows were also pretty straight, but they looked so perfect on her. her side profile was honestly the best ive ever seen in my whole life. the way her lips moved out, how her adorable nose arched perfectly and how- wait are her lips moving?

"aimees?" she asked, okay yeah they were, "sorry, what?" i asked, looking into her eyes, "you zoned out on me again" she commented, "sorry its just, you look really pretty" i said, still mesmerizing her in a trance, she turned to me, i could see her cheeks turning a shade of pink, before she looked back infront of us

thats kind of weird, i mean, i was just saying she looked pretty, i say that to enid all the time and she just compliments me back or says thanks, but ellie got flustered for some reason and tried to hide her face with no comments

we passed the weed arond in silence for a moment, "you do this a lot?" she asked, "usually just with cigarettes, but i got lucky and found this on a run a few weeks ago.. i love the stars"

"i love the moon" she remarked, i looked to her with a smile on my face, "if i could anywhere i'd go there" she said, looking at the moon above her, "can i come with?" i asked, she turned to me, our faces inches apart, "yeah but.. be aware, joels coming too, and hes a big grump sometimes" she answered, i laughed at that, giggling as i rested my forehead on her shoulder to contain myself, i hear giggles come from her too

"okay, shh, shh we have to be quiet" i whispered, leaning back up to face her, "youre telling me to be quiet? youre the one who started laughing!" she said with a smile as the joint hung between her fingers, "urhg, give me that" i said, taking the joint from her and puffing a few

"its not my fault, you make me laugh more then like, anyone ive ever met" i said after a couple seconds in silence, "really?" she asked looking back to me, "mhm" i nodded, letting out another giggle at nothing, which caused ellie to giggle with me too, we fell onto eachother laughing up a storm, "oh! oh my god! i cant breath!" ellie said inbetween laughs, "stop!" i cried, gripping her thigh for support, trying to catch my breath

we kept on laughing like that for probably too long, after a few minutes, i ended up even closer then before, our laughter dying down but smiles still held on our faces

"whats your last name?" i asked her out of the blue, which caused us to laugh a little some more, "williams?" she sid in a questioning tone, "w-why did you say it like that? are you sure thats your last name or did you make it up because-"

"no! no! thats real, my last name is williams, i was just- cause you asked so randomly!" she explained, "okay, well, ellie williams, you-" i said, pointing at her and using a tone for the word you, "-are my new favorite person"

"and you- aime-" she stopped for a moment, "whats your last name?" she whispered, "dixon" i whispered back, "you! aime dixon, are my new favorite person" she said, usuing a tone and pointing at me for you like i did, but usuing a tone and pointing at herself for me

this caused us both to laugh again, i guess weed made us a bit giggly, we seemed to be eliciting laughter not matter what

"you know what we should do?" i asked, "hmm?" she hummed, i took a puff a weed, noticing it was almost all gone, "we should get married"

i noticed her cheeks start to turn red, "i mean, how could i not want to marry you! look how cute you are with your blushing" i said with a hudge smile, "i accept, mrs williams" ellie said to me with blush still wearing her face, "aime williams! hm, i like the sound of that!" i laughed

"hey, i have idea" i said, looking down at the blunt, "yea wife?" she asked, "my dear husband, we could finish this joint in one puff, shall i shotgun it to you?" i asked with a smirk, "first of all, wife, im your wife, secondly, i dont know what that is" she deadpanned, i let out a couple giggles from her

"okay, well if im the wife, how can you be the wife? anyways, why dont i just show you what a shotgun is?" i offered, still smirking, "hmm, okay fine" she said with a smile, unsure with what was to come

i smirked devilishly, i blew the rest of the joint into my mouth, before flicking it off the house, i brought my hands to ellies face, moving her face to mine, my eyes were closed but i could tell she was blushing

ellies mouth was slightly ajar in shock, so i blew the smoke into her mouth, the feeling of her warm, soft, silk lips, her nose tickling with mine and the way my stomach was attacking itself with a swarm of butterflies from us touching like this

the weed did something to me, because i couldnt help myself, and without any thoughts, only the feeling of want, i pressed my lips more firm to hers, and moved them onto hers, my lips were dancing on hers and she didnt move.

i lifted my lips up for a split second, releasing the smoke from our mouths, i pulled away, realizing what i had just done, my eyes started to feel with tears looking down at her, my hands still holding her face, only inches away. i was so goddamn embarrassed and mad at myself. why the fuck would i do that? i dont even like girls, im not gay, and i definitely dont like a girl i just met 4 days ago. it had to be the weed because im not a lesbian, and judged by the complete silence between us, and ellies face, she isnt eithe-

my angered thoughts were interrupted as ellie leaned into me, tilted her head as she pressed her blushed face to mine, now our lips danced together, i could smell her breath, it smelt of mint toothpaste and marijuana, but i wanted more of it, i wanted to taste it

as ellies hands gripped my shoulders, and mine gripped her face, i brushed my tongue against her lips, getting a slight taste of her, she didnt open her mouth, so i took my left hand from her cheek and placed it on her waist, rubbing her skin and plulling her closer to me, the sudden contact made her mouth open slightly, and i took that as an opportunity to slip my tongue into hers

not only was the smell of marijuana filling my nose, but the smell of the shampoo i gave her was lingering, i think the scent was lavander, either way, it smelt good, delicious, and i wanted even more

i honestly was starting to feel lightheaded and dizzy, so i pulled away for a moment, i sucked in the air to catch my breath, but my mouth was covered again by ellies lips

this time, her tongue filled my mouth, our tongues danced, as i started to fall backwards from her leaning on me, i felt so carried away and a feeling i never felt before filled my body

i pulled away from her, standing up and dragging her up with me, we had our foreheads pressed together, panting, "come on" i whispered, as i looked into her red eyes, i pulled away from our embrace, taking her hand in mind, pulling her to the side of my window, i climbed in first, helping her climb in too

once she got in, i shut the window and shut the blinds, our light pants cramming the room, i turned around to for a pair of hands pressing against my waist and shoving me against the wall, i was met once again with her lips

i couldn't help, from the sudden action, and melting deep into the kiss, and the feeling of her hands rubbing on me, i let out a small moan into her mouth, i hadnt realized it until it already left

my cheeks went red from embarrassment, hoping she didnt hear, but she pulled away, i couldnt bare to look her in her eyes, i stared at the ground, looking down at our socked feet on the carpet

ellies right hand moved off of my waist, i thought she was about to freak out and leave or something, but she placed a hand on my chin, and lifted it so my face was forced to meet hers, i expected her face to be filled with disgust, but she had a smirk on her face, her freckled cheeks bright red

"dont be shy, you have a pretty voice" she whispered, butterflies formed my heat. not my stomach, but below.

i looked at her dumbfounded, i never felt this way before. i didnt know what was going to happen after all this, what me and ellies relationship would be by tomorrow, i didnt know if i was gay- but i did know that i wanted more of her touch, i wanted to feel her touch, not only on me, but in me.

i pulled pulled the back of her neck onto my face to be met with mine, our kiss even more passionate then before, my knees felt so weak, like i could collapse at any moment, so my hands were balled into a fist gripping her tankop. her hands were squeezing my skin, i couldnt help it, i wanted to feel more of her skin

i lifted my left hand from her tanktop, and lowered them to the hem of it, before i stuck my hand underneath, trailing my hand against her skin, i stopped once my hand got to her bra, unsure of how far she wanted this to go, but her hand lifted from my waist and pulled my wrist up and underneath her bra, allowing me to feel her shape and soft skin

instead of ellies hand resting back on my waist, she snaked it under my jeans, and i felt her squeeze my ass, i had to pull away from our kiss as i let out a grunt, it would have probably came out a moan if i didnt keep my mouth squeezed shut and tried to hold it

we made out rubbing eachother for a few moments before ellies hand slid out of my jeans, i was disappointed until i felt her hands yank at the waist of my jeans, they were still unbuttoned so all she did was slid them off of me, i broke our kiss to step out of them

ellies hands went straight to the back of my bare theighs, "jump" she grunted, her voice deep and raspy, i did what she said, i jumped so my legs were wrapped around her waist as she still held me up by my theighs

as we shared a sloppy yet passionate kiss, i felt my back lift from the wall, ellie brough us across the room, and i felt myself get dropped into my bed

i could see ellie from the moon that lit our room, she crawled ontop of me, hovering over me as our hands and lips connected once again to eachother

she trailed her kiss to my jawline, i felt like i was to explode, i tilted my head so she could get more of my neck

i shouldnt be doing this, but i want to, but dads downstairs, hes asleep, but im high, we both are

my own thoughts fought eachother, i tried to bring myself to stop it, but i couldnt.

my fingertips rested on the fabric of ellies tanktop, i pulled her away for a moment, pulling off the grey top over her head, my eyes went straight to her body, and god did i feel faint.

she had a grey calvin klein sports bra on, my mouth was starting to water.

ellies hands went to my tanktop, i lifted my arms so that she could pull them over my head, i was nervous, especially since i didnt have a bra on, but i wanted it too much to stop

ellie and i stared at eachothers bodies for a moment, she leaned back in and connected her lips straight to my sweetspot of my neck, at the same time her hand went and messaged my boob, ellie was doing things to me because i couldn't even hold in my moans anymore

ellie left a trail of bruises down my neck as she went down more, and connected her lips to my nipple, my hand went to the back of her hair, squeezing her roots, right when i did so i could faintly hear ellie moan into my skin- she likes hair pulling, noted

ellie kissed my one breast and messaged my other, as i squirmed under her holding her hair

"ellie.." i whisper-moaned. "yea, babe?" she mumbled through her kisses, i felt hotter from her nickname, "please.." i whispered, i couldnt handle it anymore

ellie brought her hand and rested it between my legs, but it was inches away from my core, i squeezed my thighs together to try to make some sort of friction, but ellie moved her hands and pressed my knees away from eachother, "please what?" she asked in a dominant voicd, she obviously knew what i wanted, but wanted to hear me say it

"please-" i tried to get a full sentance out in one go, but that was near impossible, my fingertips rested on ellies pants, streching the fabric wanting them off, i was completely topless and had my pants off, yet ellie had a bra on and pants

ellie got off of me for a moment, taking her pants off, which i silently thanked her in my head for, "please what?" she asked again, her voice more raspy then before, "touch me" i moaned, she smirked, leaning in and kissing me again, i missed her lips and the taste of them

she rubbed her hand up slowly, her finger brushing against my cunt. without even thinking, my hand shot to ellies hand that was in between my theighs, and pushed it more towards it

as ellie grunted, she moved my underwear to the side, letting her fingers drag along my slit, "this wet for me baby?" she panted, "all for you" i replied, instantly connecting our lips after

ellie teased me, tracing her fingers up and down my wetness, i sunk my hips down more, trying to get more, ellie broke our kiss with a small laugh, she gave my lips another sweet kiss before she pulled away from my face, i looked up at her confused but my confused face was shortly changed to arousal, as she slipped her middle finger partly inside me

she slowly pumped her finger more into me, causing my head to go back on my pillow, ive touch myself before, but nobody had ever touched me, this was a complete new experience for me

as she pumped them in and out, i felt her start to grind her hips onto my theigh, all the fricton, i started to let out more and more moans, my mouth was closed so they werent as loud

i felt her add her ring finger in me, and curling them around my walls, her hips grinding with more pressure,i let my jaw fall, and furred my eyebrows as i moaned, ellies hand went straight to my mouth, covering any noises that escaped.. i realized for a split second that- oh that was really loud and could of easily woke up my dad- but the feeling of her fingers twirling around in me made me instantly forget about it

i couldnt help but start to grind onto her fingers, rocking my hips up and down. ellies hand slowly moved off of my mouth to grip on my hip, letting out a moans with me, her voice was so hot it made me even wetter. she then moved her hand down even more, i thought it couldnt get any better but she started to rub my clit

"mmfpph.. ell- ellie- i-" i screched, i felt my stomach tie into a tight knot, my body froze as i squeezed my eyes, while my hips stopped moving, ellies hands only sped up, and her hips started to move faster, practically jumping up and down on me, "ellie" i whinned, my eyes rolling back as i felt myself release, ellie grinded on me until her hips froze, "hh- hfphmhmm"ellie moaned, also coming to a finish, i watched her as she leaned her head back, mouth ajar, eyebrow's squishing together.

the room was filled with heavy pants- our chests going up and down as if we just had a near death experience

we stared at eachother trying to catch our breaths, ellies hair was clouding all around her face, her hair falling to her shoulders, really messy compared to how it was an hour ago, in which it was neatly brushed

ellie looked so beautiful, but there were two things i realized as i stared at her

1. we are still high as shit

2. ellie williams, a girl i met a few days ago, just fucked me

[petrigrof-doomed-yuri]

i hate petrigrof.

just kidding. i do not. kinda.

note: this post makes petrigrof seem toxic. its not toxic. its just very doomed.

this is part one of my talking about the things i hate about petrigrof! because theres a lot. its. its insane.

i hate fionna and cake the series. just kidding again, but i hated the they way handled them. it felt so.. incomplete. which the series isnt over yeah, but simon basically was like “yay! im happy again!” at the end so im gonna pretend all the relationship building is over.

this also isnt the only time im talking about the fionna and cake series with this, because thats where we get most of our content from. but yeah anyways eyebrjdbsmd

i hate how simon was made out to be the bad guy and like betty did no wrong. which, did simon do something wrong? yeah he did. he didn’t consider how much betty gave up to fulfill his dream and stuff etc etc.. but betty is a grown woman. shes her own person.

this like also kinda harmful stereotype of women wanting to do what the man wants but i digresssssss 😁😁

but anyways, betty is her own person. simon never asked her to do any of it. like, yeah i agree simon is really stupid for no realizing it. yeah i think simon shouldve known better, but then again.. this isnt anyway his fault.

the fact though, is he never asked for her opinion on things. THATS the problem. but that wasn’t really ever talked about, so its kinda just.. bbbbllllleaaaaggghhggghh…

another thing about betty is that she should definitely be hold accountable. but also, to be fair, she thought “wow simon is my idol and is soooooo cool” and then started dating him. like babe i love you but why would u do that… there was such a horrible power balance because she read his books before and she thought of him as something higher because of that. so of course she subconsciously gave up all of her dreams for him. which sucks but i feel like she needed to learn how to stand her ground.

i am NOT blaming her though. at all.

she just was OBSESSED over simon to the point she wasnt her own person. which sucks, but she needed to learn to let go and move on.

dont get me wrong though.. i love these two so much!

i think definitely with a longer relationship (they were only together for about 5 years or under and didn’t even get married) so they were early-ish in their relationship so they didnt work out any of the kinks. and thats what sucks about them! they didnt have enough time to you know, have a relationship.

i think these two with enough time couldve been something great and its so sad they couldn’t get the life they deserve:( i love them sm

(i didnt cover all of my points here, so later down the road i may rewrite this LOL)

(also i didnt re read this so uh. sorry for the mistakes!)

[chocottang]

(looks at the time, midnight) perfect time for posting!

silly little animatic for a silly little au i will yap about under the cut. but basically, the shadows are humans, and gold is the illegitimate son of mr. golden, so he has to deal with lots of shit. also i KNOW the audio is not synced but IM NOT editing that again. i refuse

ok i will probably not make an actual comic or anything for the au so ill just tell you all about it rn even though im eepy and thus will probably forget things. also i didnt read through All Of That a second time so im sorry if theres mistakes or incomprenhensible sentences

uhhh the idea came to me bc i wanted to make human versions of shadows, but i thought itd be boring if all the shadows were just twins of their human with the exact same trauma. dont get me wrong its very interesting to see two characters deal with the same issues very differently but when its ALL of the pairs it can get boring (to ME, this is just my own feelings). so i went hey, famous people seem to never stop cheating, what if we did that instead? and boom gold illegitimate son was born. also when i say mr. golden i dont mean golden's dad, i mean golden and joy's grandpa. I KNOW. GROSS. thats kinda the point. it also wasn't like, a one night stand that went wrong, this man had a whole ass second family. technically not cheating though bc his wife was already dead, but still not good.

so. gold was just living his silly little normal life with his mom and semi-absent father (they would say he was just very busy with work and travelled abroad and all that, which is the exact same excuse he'd give golden when he want visit gold)(also gold's mom was very much aware of the whole thing from the start) when suddenly him and his mom got into a car accident. gold got scars and a broken arm, while his mom took most of the blow. her upper body was mostly okay bc gold was able to see the car coming from her side and instinctively pulled his mom away, but he could only move her upper body to the side, and her lower back and legs took the blow. so, with his mom hospitalized, the authorities obviously asked him to call his dad to come over. so he did, and mr. golden showed up. and obviously the news immediatly caught on to this and made it a scandal. the local rich old guy with a company that has always had a brand of helping society with their innovations turned out to have a second family, and a son who is around his grandchildren's age. how could u NOT report that. anyways, gold's mom needs to be hospitalized for AT LEAST a couple of months, so gold moves in with his dad. and of course, has to face his dad's "official" family.

now, gold had known that he was "illegitimate" for a while now. it was kind of impossible to ignore with golden's popularity. but he had never really processed it fully, it was sort of an unspoken thing that everyone in the household was aware everyone else knew, but no one wanted to mention it. as if by doing so it would suddenly become real and break the illusion of their "perfect" little family. but now he has to deal with the hard truth (and new trauma due to the car crash! yay!). he decides to try and "compensate" the heavy blow that his dad's reputation took for his, uh, existance, and decided to start helping around the company. he immediatly starts taking way too much work, because he feels guilty and wants to feel validated by his dad, to feel like he's also his "real" family, that he deserves to be called his son. and also because he never got that much attention from him anyways. he's now deathly afraid of losing his family, after almost losing his mom, so he tries his absolute best to be everything his dad wants and do everything he says. he was always kind of a pushover, because his dad was always emotionally distant and bareley showed up, but he had his mom around to compensate, but now that he feels he could lose her at any moment, that flaw skyrocketed in intensity.

that attitude also translates with the rest of the family, especially the cousins: golden, joy and jay. golden DOES NOT trust gold. he's convinced that gold started working in the company because he only wants the money, or the fame, or maybe the whole company (since gold would technically be before golden in the heritage, itd be much easier). but that's mostly his own trauma regarding feeling used for money by almost everyone he loves acting up. golden also dislikes gold bc he reminds him of the things he hates about himself, bending over backwards just to get affection from the old fart. soo yeah golden has issues and gold kind of embodies all of them (like a shadow. get it. haha.)

joy tries VERY hard to be nice to gold and seem accepting and like she's okay with all of this but she has very conflicting feelings. she always kind of idealized her grandpa, so knowing that he actually sucks is kind of driving her crazy (she is unaware of how much golden is fucked up bc honestly shes got fucked up in similar ways, having to appeal to her parents for affection and working her ass off as a maid basically, so it just seems normal). also, she feels iffy about gold, she doesn't distrust him like golden, she truly believes gold is just a normal kid, but she's VERY frustrated about the fact that he started working for the company just like that. she always wanted to work alongside her grandpa, she thought the company's ideals were lovely, but she was always shut off because she's a girl. so she explored her passion for music, which was encouraged, but only as a hobby, while golden got to make a succesful career out of it with the help of the family. and now this random kid who had never had ANYTHING to do with the company is working for it and being taught everything she wanted to know. it's completely unfair and it makes her seethe. but she knows its not gold's fault, and she keeps excusing her family, so she just hides it and hides it and tries to pretend she's okay with all of this.

jay is the only person who seems to be ok with gold. she loves attention and she hates being bored, so a sudden family scandal that gives them tons of media attention and makes all of her posts blow up is literally perfect for her. and it's all thanks to gold! she doesn't find him especially interesting as a person, but everything surrounding him is. and hes a total pushover! so she gets to make him carry her stuff, do things for her and crack jokes at his expense all she wants. she also just finds is funny that he's technically her uncle. gold knows that she's taking advantage of him, but he doesn't mind that much, because she at least doesnt hate him like golden and joy seem to do. and sometimes she's not an asshole, sometimes she genuinly enjoys his presence. let's just say that the bar is in hell

also. if i did things right u will probably tell that gold is fat, especially in comparison to the cousins. and thaaats because the golden family is actually naturally fat, but grandpa encouraged them to be thin to "protect them from the media". golden and jay have quite unhealthy habits, while joy just eats healthy and exercises, which is why she's not stick thin. since gold was never meant to be in the public eye he was allowed to just exist so hes a normal kid who doesnt give a fuck. other design notes, the broken arm and scars represents gold's face markings and completely black hand. and i gave him glasses because everyone gives him glasses and i think thats awesome

also uhh he becomes friends with the villains (who are the student council)nbecause owynn wants to get that golden family clout. gold joins the council as an assistant because hey! being useful! he's good at that and it may earn him a friendship. there he meets cami and they immediately recognize that they're similar. always doing what someone asks, always so serious, always calm and efficient, working towards their goal, never taking up space. soo they spends more time together (also bc gold is her assistant) and start leaning on each other. they become close. they also like that they're so blunt with everyone and each other, it makes conversation easier for them. and also they have a crush on each other because of course they do im PREDICTABLE.

uhhh idk if i have anything left to say if u read all of that hi. i love you

[marisol124]

I need lore for Zorua Carmine pls? :0

I apologize in advance for how long of a read this may be Its a copy and paste from when i was explaining the whole thing to a friend on discord so sorry if theres a bit of context missing from some parts- This might be around 1k words im so sorry. I am not normal about the kitakami siblings.

warning for drowning and child death (Y E A H)

The au starts with The Drednaw Incident™ (I can't go into detail about it currently, but for now... lets just say that itll be explained on the rp blog i run 👁️)

Carmine still feels so horribly guitly for the whole thing. she feels she was responsible for the whole mess. for her mothers death.

and kieran, he too is so torn up about it. he doesnt WANT to blame his sister, but hes an emotionally torn apart like 6 year old, i dont think young kids aremature enough to realise what is or isnt someones fault

SO, one day, the siblings are having their usual arguements. but it just keeps escalating, getting worse and worseeventually it gets to the point where its like WAYYY too far. carmine says something bad and then kieran claps back with "WELL, maybe if you didnt *kill* mom then, then i..."

he IMMEDIATLY knows he fucked up bad, but its not like he can undo it

carmine just. just stands there in shock for a bit. She knows its true, but nobodys ever said it outloud. its the first time. and from her *brother* off all people, the one who her horrible mistake affected the most...

She just stands there for a bit, then looks down at her hand. she sees it covered in blood, like in her nightmares

it just. replays for her. the nigihtmares where SHES the one killing her mother

Kieran goes to hold her shoulders, to apologize because yeah he said the most out of pocket shit ever

but it just scares carmine. her anxietys so bad she starts to run. she doesnt know where shes going but she just knows she needs to get far away

she ends up back at the timeless woods, to the spot where they were attacked

she runs to the little pond in there, for some reason like searching for a drednaw, hell even a chewtle. something to kill her i guess D:

she runs so fast that she accidently trips far into the lake. and the silly thingis. she never learned how to swim so :3

also, her grandparents and kieran are trailing behind her, but since carmine had a lot of a head start- they kinda lose her once they reached the woods

she starts to drown in the lake, unable to get back up. she regrts everything, she only now realises how much of a coward she is to die. she doesnt want to die here

but she also thinks, maybe shes just such an idiot that she deserves to drown here in a small pond, never to be found again.

eventually after a bit of running around, kieran reaches the pond and looks down it, just in case. then yep, there she is. carmine looks at him and tries to feebly reach her arm out, but both of them are too small to reach each other at all

he yells for his grandparents to get over there, right now, and eventually their grandfather reaches them, jumps in to get carmine, and bring her back to land

however shes just. swallowed and breath in too much water at this point. they try to get it out, but its useless. it wont come out

the last thing she sees before dying is just. the horrified look in all of their faces. kiki is staring directly at her, everybodys eyes are full of tears. it wasnt supposed to go like this

finally, her eyes go from looking back into kierans to just... nothing. her eyes still open but there was nothing behind them. the light in them had faded. her body had gone completely limp

their grandparents keep trying and trying, but eventually they have to admit that shes gone now. there was nothing they can do about it.

now its KIERANS turn to feel disgustingly guilty. he said the thing that set her off in the first place. whoospie

so yeah... they go back home. they grieve. they do all that stuff...

however, unbeknownst to them, a bit after her death, her spririt, her guilt, her regret, it solidified itself and turned into... a little zorua

i wanna take some inspo from pkiki for it... like a sort of fuzzy memory... not being fully aware of herself but knowing she used to be a human..

she spends so long just wandering around the wilds, aimless but knowing there was something missing, making the zorua feel so empty

shortly after she wakes up she meets a friendly trevenant

it takes pity on her, for it also remembers seeing her and her mother back during the drednaw incident

it cares after her while she has no idea what she's doing as a pokemon, she just feels so much body dysmorphia and doesn't know why

he tells her stories of back when he was a human as well, guides her through this whole thing

though he does recommend for her to stop trying to get her old life back...

as he has tried before too and it lead him into horrible mental states that lead to nothing. just a bunch of worrying over nothing...

he's not being malicious doing this btw, he just doesn't want her going through the same usless pain as he did

but carmine is a strong and persistent spirit, so it doesn't deter her much. just makes her hesitat a bit and accept her more feral side eventually...

she and the trevenant grow very close, the trevenant reminds her of someone she used to love so much.. someone who was always there for her..

But, one day...

also dw about the trevenant. he's just looking out for her in a way that's not helpful for her 😔

like. like think of a mother being afraid of letting their child do something a bit risky

but they know their child wants to do it so bad, so they set aside that nervousness to help them achieve their goal. that's kinda how trevenant and carmine r

Going back to Kieran in this story, he ended up picking up mask making as kind of a coping skill, his grandpa being his mentor

SO, he and his grandpa end up going to the timeless woods one day, to cut down a few trees for more materials

-ough maybe she likes to illusion herself into a phantump... it makes her feel a bit closer to the trevenant and the slightly more humanoid pokemon feels just a bit better than a zorua..........-

ok so when Kieran and his grandpa are at the forest, grandpa chops down a tree, and then hands the ax to Kieran to try

So Kieran goes to cut a tree down.. but it's actually the trevenant sleeping (I like to think they're a bit nocturnal, zoruas too)

this angers him and so he then gets up suddenly, scaring the shit out of the two people

They've been through this before. They've seen how aggressive the pokemon here could get. They knew the dangers of this forest and. they. were scared. they would be the next fatalities in this cursed woods

The trevenant attacks Kieran, it scares him so bad, BUT THEN

carmine sees it going to attack and just.. she feels something so strong looking at the two. she can't put her finger on it but she knows they are what she's looking for

so as trevenant attacks, she jumps in front of Kieran to take the attack

the force throws her into a rock, she looks a bit at the shocked faces of kieran and his grandpa before quickly fainting

this is the first times she's fainted btw. the sudden pokemon attack gives her bad flashbacks too

trevenant is shocked by this, he didn't mean to hurt her at all

he figures that if she jumped out to save them, then she doesn't want them killed so he won't attack them anymore..

grandpa has some pokemon stuff on hand, intedned for their own pokemon but when you find a pokemon in need you gotta help them out right

he gently gives her a revive, waking her up again

She's really freaked out when she gets back up, panicking from the attack still

she notices the two and trevenant and while trevenant expects her to go to him for comfort, she instead leaps into kierans arm for some reason

it catches him off guard, the sudden lunge scaring him and making him drop her

when she hits the floor she looks back up at him kinda hurt, trying her best to communicate she wasn't bad and she wanted to go with them, it all came out as growls and barks though

his grandpa though is a bit experienced with pokemon so he gets it though, telling Kieran that it's not going to bite

the two decide they should leave and head back home, but the zorua refuses to let go of kieran so, they end up just agreeing to bring it with them. it was a bit injured after all, and could probably use some medical attention

carmine looks back at the trevenant, he just stands there and in a silent type of way wishes her the best

kinda a sweet goodbye for them

so then they head back home... heal her up a bit more. they were going to release her back into the woods but it refused to leave, so yep to them it's like they found a silly little stray and now that's a new part of their family

though they do find it a bit strange that when they offered to catch it, it absolutely refused lmao

I like to think kieran reached out his hand with a pokeball in it as an offer, and then she just slaps it out of his arms hehhe

so after like the first night of having her in the house, they start to introduce her to their other pokemon, just to like start incorporating her into the family

the first one they introduce her to is kierans sentret, since its usually out of its ball roaming the house. HOWEVER they find it really... unnatural that the sentret immediately ran towards her in a concern type of way, it seemed to sniff her and realize something, chipping a lot at kieran, as if trying to say something...

the other pokemon don't really know who she is but, they just have the slightest of feelings that it's someone kieran used to know

so yeah the pokemon are kinda all over her, but they do make quick friends with her :D

this is were the "finding herself" arc begins jehdudhjf

she spies photos of her sometimes around the house and just... looks at it intently

there's something about that girl that she just... can't understand what it is about her

I think.. the silly thing I'm doing with this au is symbolizing her humanity with her headband :3

since it was such an important thing to her, they kinda uh buried it with her

so as she slowly starts to remember herself more, she ends up wanting to illusion herself back into a human again. to be able to show Kieran and her grandparents who she is

but the key to doing that is the headband...

OK THE COPY PASTE IS DONE. Yeah its a lot XD.

[strawbubbysugar]

hello hello

heres me having thoughts on morgans situation

so ill be honest, when i first read that morgan was in P&S my first reaction was also "bitch gtfo" and a lot of what they said also made me sit there like "...oh really? you say that like we never felt like that either" but i have decided to go apeshit instead

now here i am analyzing their character and thinking about wut they couldve done that wouldnt have ended up in them getting stabbed (exaggeration)

so we can obviously agree on the abusive part. manipulation, gaslighting, etc. and it seems that morgan still feels like they were in the right for what they did (correct me if im wrong, this is just what im interpreting) as they dont say things like "im sorry for what i did" but rather "i was just trying to help." now, ofc, nobody is obligated to forgive their abuser, but im just thinking that morgan wouldve had a higher chance of being forgiven if they actually said sorry sincerely and fully understood that what they did was wrong and not just "i was trying to help" (which seems to always be their go-to defense instead of admitting they were wrong). but ofc thats a natural reaction as most people dont realize that what theyre doing is abusive and they fully believe that what theyre doing is right.

now theres also "well their soulmate died at a young age and they didnt want to be alone." yes, that garners them sympathy points, but it is not an excuse, its a reason. an excuse gives them an immediate out, a reason tells you why they did what they did so you can understand better, but it does not release them from all consequences.

also, i have severe abandonment issues, so i understand the feeling of not wanting to be alone and the crippling fear it gives. but just bc i have trauma does not mean that im allowed to go around and do whatever morgan did then when the consequences slap me in the face i pull out my uno reverse and go "i have trauma you cant be mad" (another exaggeration)

also this isnt me hating on morgan, i find them to be a fascinating character. this is just me over analyzing atp.

but in conclusion, morgan needs to realize what they did was wrong, get some therapy, and learn from their mistakes to become a better person. well... thats if they live-

uhhh i probably got some of this wrong but yeah these are my thoughts-

insert sparkle on jerma gif here

I really really adore this analysis, thank you for putting so much time & love into it!!! <3

[greenlightbulbonawire]

Misfits (yeah like the Arcane song)

XLV.

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Summary: From the dark musty cell of Stillwater all the way to the very base of Firelights, but where to from there? Guess you'll just have to let fate lead you.

Author's note: Here's another chapter for yall, Also, props to anyone who actually made it to this chapter and waits for me to post more. It's still crazy to me that actuall people are reading my work T-T. Love you and hope you have a good day!! (also i didnt proof read this so if theres any spelling mistakes and shi lmk and im sorry in advance lol)

Fourty fourth chapter

Masterlist

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Your eyes peeled open as the dawn of the day came, at first you were slightly confused as to where you were and then you remembered. You looked around, taking in Ekko’s empty room when something wriggled behind you. The boy's hands were snug around your waist and you felt his forehead against your back. Red slowly found its way onto your cheeks again and you could only hope that he was still asleep and wouldn't wake up as you carefully detached his arms from your body. You quietly got up and picked up your hoverboard, the first sun rays of the day started seeping into his room through a small window on the sleeping boy's door. It creaked as you opened it and you froze up, turning your head to look at his unconscious body, but he stayed asleep.

When you finally left his room and silently walked to the edge of his balcony, you swung your legs over it and started up your device, hopping on it and flying towards the entrance to the hideout. You had a certain destination in mind, but before you could go there, you had to go buy something, oh right, money, okay, let's head back to your room and take it maybe, that’d be great. Changing into your usual working outfit wasn’t in the question right now, as it was dirtied up from the junkyard, so even your beloved cloak was unusable at that moment. You grabbed the money and the dirty clothes, stopping by a washing room before you left. The cold stone pressed against your body was enough to fully wake you up and you pushed at it with all your might, until finally it gave in and moved away, creating a small gap for you to slip through into the sewer system, surrounding the Firelights’ hideout.

THe low hum coming off the machine and its weak neon green glow filled the empty tunnels while you took a familiar route. You shot up through a grate hole, its cover kicked away by you some time ago and laying a few paces away. The device shot up as you hopped off and fell into your arms, you had to carry it this time, your cloak being left in the washing room, but compared to the metal piece from yesterday, it was nothing. You left the little dead alleyway and walked into a bigger, more alive street, searching for a food stand. It took a little while but you finally spotted one and quickly made your way over. A smile painted your lips as you spotted a wooden box full of a particularly sweet fruit. You reached into the box to pull out one, but your hand was slapped away by an older man with orange curly hair.

“You want something, you pay for it.” The man stated and folded his arms, giving you a skeptical look, and then a familiar voice echoed from the back of the stand. “A customer?” “Felix?” “[Reader]? Oh it is you! Hi!” The boy came forward and turned to the older man and then he turned to you again. “I see you’ve met my dad.” He chuckled and shook his head, the older man sighed and retrieved into an opened door of the building the stand was built against while mumbling something to himself. “That’s your dad?” “Yeah man, don’t mind him, he’s just wary, that’s all.” “Oh no, it’s fine, I get it, but if you’ll forgive me, I’m in a little hurry, I just wanted to buy two of these.” You pointed to the box you were eyeing a few seconds ago. Felix nodded and reached over the counter of the stand, grabbing a pair of the fruit, throwing them into a paper bag and handing them to you. You paid for them and got on your way again.

It wasn’t long until you reached your desired destination, an empty street, filled with dust and remnants of past life, at night illuminated by a big billboard and its white light. You got greeted by a loud shriek and a dark smudge slamming into you, pushing you off your hoverboard and onto the ground as it licked your face with its split tongue. “Fae! Stop that!” Any attempts at fighting back were absolutely useless and all you could do was wait until your pet salamander was done with greeting you. Fae finally stepped off your body and ran in circles around you, making little happy sounds. “I know, I know, you missed me, I missed you too.” Your arm disappeared into the paper bag and pulled out the fruit, dangling it in the air until Fae noticed it. She stopped running around and tilted her head.

“Can you sit Fae?” You asked her and she sat down politely, wrapping her tail around her legs. “That’s a good girl! Come here!” The salamander broke into a little run and you threw the fruit in the air, she leaped and caught it with her mouth, letting out a murrow, seemingly pleased with herself. You sat down onto the ground and pulled out the second fruit, beginning to eat it as Fae slowly lied down next to you, as if you two were sharing a meal. She finished her piece in a few swift bites, obviously, she was like three times your size at the end of the day, and looked at you with puppy eyes, begging for more. You rolled your eyes and chuckled softly, taking one last bite and giving the rest to her.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

oh god you have foolishly provided me a chance to dump the contains of my soul and heart out in the open through throwing all my favorite songs to listen to and think of Muriel at you in this essay i WILL

ok first i know its on his official playlist already BUT i feel a need to emphasize just how much it is ABsoLUTEly HIS song most of any of them: drumroll please::: 👏Wolf👏 by 👏First Aid Kit👏 any muriel simp reading this right now i am pounding you with my brainwaves of intent to go listen to it Right Now and Read those Lyrics and just try to tell me its not literally about him god if could draw id be doing such a cool animatic about it but alas it dies with me anyway WAYWARD WINDS!!! A VOICE THAT SINGS!!!! OF A!! FORGOTTEN!!!! LAND!!!!!!! SEE IT FALL!!!! CHILD OF WAR!!!! OH LEND!!!! A MENDING HAND!!!!!!!!!!! i believe ive made myself clear kbgxkyhfhkvd

https://youtu.be/6PmuuiXgIZE

i dont know if links work on anon but i had to try gjzghfdtomfg our wedding song straight up this is in my language and also like. about a girl but the words are easy to switch around so it fits lol it basically just goes like "you just had to know (to do something? like in a you know how to work me way lmao linguistics hard), that i cant forget you at all/i forgot my mother and father/my sister and my brother but i cant goshdarn forget you" and i dont know i probably cant translate that so it hits right but god its absolutely perfect to me cause like I DIDNT! FORGET HIM!! MC REMEMBERS HIM AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT!!!! EVEN WITH THE CURSE I DONT KNOW LET ME HAVE THIS ITS TOO GD ROMANTIC I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT ME ACTING LIKE THIS AGHGF im sorry for yelling i got excited

NEXT a classic we gotta pepper some hozier on this thing so here goes Nothing Fucks With My Baby cause thats my ultimate serenade for him in my head especially the "if i was born/as a blackthorn tree/id wanna be held by you/felled by you/fuel the pyre of your enemies" part as it perfectly describes my sentiments towards my man: hes my bby i will kill for him👁️👁️

theres Always Forever by Cults, i dont have that much to rant about it i just always think of him when i play it lol theres hozier again It Will Come Back which is on his official playlist too but i play around with perspectives in this one cause i put myself in the "it" position, like. im chasing here bro👀 oh my god i have got to shut up this is entirely tmi

https://youtu.be/mLycEitwJCA

i made a whole post about this one its a whole thing lmao long story short muriel on a murderous revenge quest au MOVING ON

OH i remembered another folky one

https://youtu.be/NrgwIo8GWDI

its SUCH a banger and i love it and it goes like i saw a Wolf a Fox a Rabbit so i just imprinted on it with Muriel Asra and MC respectively cause i dont know i had a phase where i decided mcs spirit animal is a rabbit cause of that scrapped introduction chapter with the labyrinth thing i guess idk im scrambling here ngfsfugc anyway it slaps listen to it and imagine a bangin tavern party and maybe youll calm down /meme

ohh ok we're on a folksy roll thats probably because i just mostly associate old timey sounding songs with arcana in general lmao i mean its like middle ages over there right

https://youtu.be/t9PUlNQOZ8o

this ones in my language again i know annoying but i found a translated version look!!! AND theres a bunch of people correcting the mistakes in the comments too if you were wanting to get deeper into research hkdggjyecb and its white voice style so depending on your taste it might sound silly but yeah this ones got some fitting lines too tying up with Murmur and its so cute and so cheesy and hopeful and sappy and it cheers me up aw

oh my god i wonder if anyone gets this far reading this ever if youre seeing this its probably during a scroll roll slow just enough to make out the letters Hello godspeed you continue on your journey with my blessings cause im noT EVEN DONE YET HAHAHAHAHAA

Motha Motha! Problems! nuff said

https://youtu.be/artn9fErRp8

this ones gonna take explaining gjxgkhpgz but maybe not that much

https://youtu.be/_h9V94b4R2g

i just had a eureka moment one day and so another animatic concept to take to my grave was born lmao but mostly its just playing into Muriels & MCs "nO i cOULd hUrt YoU Go aWaY" + "ayo hold my flower ima kill them real quick" dynamic theyve got heehee like the whole "~Dangerous~ ooh that sounds good ya" bit and also yes im in your house no im not leaving jgdghkfhgd and like i just imagined the song fitting the vibe of the whole murder lucio quest road trip with MC all "yo we Getting this shit DONE dont fuck around w my crew" (The Crew: feral milf & bear with anxiety) AND LIKE i always get to the "party like we all gon die tonight" basedrop part with the whole visual montage of us finding khamgalai and then the graveyard fight and Absolutely Everything Going to Shit and the mood shifting to "well fuck maybe we do not in fact got this" but its good we kick lucio all the way to hell at the end we good💕

https://youtu.be/ZxWiG6UJr0w

MMMMMMM THIS ONEE AWW im literally just scrolling through my endless unsorted playlist to find these gdiyyfgfz this ones just cute it doesnt really relate to anything at all actually when i think about it but its nice so here

https://youtu.be/6FEDrU85FLE

.....nope i got nothing on this one just plop it right in here

oh my god. its over. weve done it. we're free

man i hope those links work. definitely not on mobile lol whatever

Hi! and oh, WOW, this was one of the most delightfully wild essays I've ever read for Muriel and I loved it. Especially describing the dynamic on the trip south as "feral milf & bear with anxiety" XD

I've found that links don't work in asks, even with the media option turned on, so I'll include them below. Thanks for your suggestions, anon, I'll put them on the tag! ^.^

[angolovinghours-420]

I’m not titling this, Ango fluff ‘n shit (cuz we love him)

(This my first time posting on tumblr so if I do smth wrong.. tell me 😔)

Fem!Reader x Ango Sakaguchi (Maybe a bit ooc and Ango with nightmares hc)

ALSO I DIDNT READ OVER THIS SO IF THERES ANY MISTAKES IGNORE IT 🤭

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You hear the lock rattle on the door, then the door slowly creaks open, revealing your absolutely, undeniably exhausted, boyfriend. You get up and walk over to him slowly, as to not startle him all too much. When he sees you, he weakly smiles

Ango: [Name], I missed you, it’s been so rough Gifted Special Operations Division recently…

She gently cups his face, her thumbs softly caressing his cheeks

Reader: I’m so sorry that’s been happening honey, do you want to talk about to or do you just want to rest?

Angos body falls limp into her arms, his head falling comfortably in the crook of her neck.

Ango: Can we please rest..?

Reader: You got it.

She scoops him up into the bridal carry and she brings him over to their shared bedroom, she slowly begins to undress him and put him into something more comfortable, just a shirt and some sweatpants basically. She then tenderly places him in bed, covering him in a soft, fluffy blanket. She begins to walk off before she hears…

Ango: Wait..! Please don’t leave me alone, if I have one of those nightmares, and your not here… just can you please stay?

She looks back at him with a warm, comforting smile

Reader: Of course, I wouldn’t want you to be scared, now would I?

She lays down next to him, her arms tangling around his slender torso, as his face is buried in her chest, his arms circling her waist. Without realising, her hand subconsciously moves up to his head and she begin stroking his hair.

Reader: You know I’m so proud of you right?

Ango: ..What….?

He sounded as if he was in disbelief.

Reader: I’m proud of you, for everything you do, for even simply waking up and getting ready, your so strong and you’re always here for me… you deserve the world and more.

She swears she can hear a faint sob buried in their chest.

Ango: Wha-… Thank you.. this means more to me than you’ll ever know.

Reader: Darling you deserve it more than you’ll ever know… now rest, get your well deserved sleep.

Ango: I love you more than words can tell…

Reader: I could say the same to you, now goodnight, I love you.

Ango: I love you too, [name]… goodnight.

They both lay still in each others arms, til the morning.

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Anyways, as I said before, it’s my first time posting on tumblr sooooo… well I hope you enjoyed this 🤭

[thisisegregiouuuus]

ok i was gonna make a post abt my rh oc kitty but i got distracted like usual so i gotta say 2 THINGS!!!

first of all, im kind of getting back into warrior cats...not rlly the books, but moreso the game clangen which im legit obsessed with, and its kind of similar to how i act w royale high. ill randomly be like 'oh hey i havent been on clangen in a while' so i hop on, get attatched to it for a week or 2 at most, and then wham bam thank you MAM!!! im sick of it and leave

but rn im back on it! and im kiiinnndddd of maaaaybbeeee considering starting a new clan and recording the events and stuff on a new blog/account/idk whatever thingy here on tumblr (for the billionth time... bc u have NOOOOO idea how many times ive started a new clan, been like 'oh yeah, this is the one', documented it for ages, then just gave up on it. i probably have like 10 random google docs floating around that are documenting random stuff in random clans </3) so yeah, idk if its gonna happen, especially bc i kind of need to focus on school rn, so idk. i might leave it to do it on the holidays but who knows if ill still be interested by then....theres always too much things going on around me and in my brain for me to even keep up

and also if anyone was wondering, yes i kind of am into warrior cats, i useed to love it as a kid and i still do. i remember playing the old roblox roleplay game back when it was just like rlly shitty cylinder morphs of cats back in grade 8 but let me tell u....the poor quality just added the more fun and charm to it. not even kidding, i loved it so much. i literally would stay up every single night so late just to rp, that game used to be my life, like i cant put into words how much i loved that game. every night i played the warrior cats rp game, that would be the highlight of my day, or the thing i was most esxcited abt after school was over. but things are different now, dont get me wrong the new and improved version of the game is rlly impressive, but ill always miss the good old days with the bad morphs of the cats </3 they will always hold a dear place in my heart, and same with all the fun and memories i made playing that game

also bc of how often i used to rp i became like a pro, like i was rlly confident and everything came naturally, but now ive left it for too long, i havent roleplayed in what feels like a billion years, and im hella rusty </3 it rlly sucks bc rn id love love looooveeee to get back into roleplaying on roblox. even if it isnt on warrior cats, id be happy, i just miss roleplaying in general

anyway im going soo off course rn. i did read the warriors books as a kid but i didnt rlly read the series in order tbh, like i remember reading into the wild, but thats it. otherwise id only read the special edition books lmao, idk why but i did and i loved them, and even tho i basically didnt follow the chronological story line, i still loved warrior cats sm

anyway that abt does it for the whole warrior cats stuff. idk where its gonna go from here but for now ill just enjoy clangen as is

and now that i said all that i cant be bothered mentioning the second thing lmao. its legit almost 2am im not even kidding, and i have to wake up at like 9am </3

sorry for any spelling mistakes and stuff btw this isnt proof read

[sibylsleaves]

Hello defend in place/may day anon. Just finished 5b and wtfff it was soooooo goooood??!!!!! Literally if the wacky jonah plot wasnt there … okay okay general thoughts 1. Adding dumb luck and may day to my roster of favourite episodes this season dumb luck idk I just really liked it (lucy plot yay!! Also bobby of all people pointing out all the people lucy saved by saving one person) and may day of course episode of all time (more on that later) 2. Karen in fomo is giving buck and eddie in that back yard pool mystery so bad literally buddiekaren sleuth episode when. Or karen anyone sleuth episode pretty please 3. The eddie plot in hero complex is literally so out of place lmfao. Also well. Im usually not a diaz parents hater but rewatching this episode knowing current canon was making me so annoyed at them like let eddie live in peace. Please 4. I miss the music budget they used to have. Like they really paid to use longview by green day and holding out for a hero by bonnie tyler within the first 5 minutes of 5x17. For a jonah origin story. Lol. 5. Literally so interesting that they had taylor talk about what the 118 means to buck and then have her literally betray, in her words, bucks family in the very next episode. i need to analyze her brain 6. I love this hen chim plot so much. And its like I watch that, and theres so many good examples of how buck and eddie are written in parallel to the romantic pairings in the show, but here so so obvious to me how they are also not written like hen and chim’s relationship at all. Like buck and eddie neverrr have buddy / team up plots literally the only ones that come to mind are treasure hunt (buck was wooing taylor) and an episode we all refer to as poker date. Lol. Its like chim and hen are about having a ride or die. And buck and eddie are about sitting in each others mess and embracing it. Idk if that makes sense but it was stewing in my head the whole time I was watching 5x18 lol. 7. Continuity in this show is so bad sometimes, why did eddie say he had to leave to pick up chris and also chris had friends over and he had to help carla in the same eddie bobby 5x18 scene. Like was it supposed to show eddie making excuses to leave or was it just a mistake 😭😭

okay may day thoughts YAYYYYY!!!!! It was so good omgg I was already kinda annoyed about the jonah plot before watching the season as a whole but now Im even more annoyed because may day would have served as the perfect 2 part finale (like s2/s3/s4) okay I’ll go by each character. May oh my gosh… her character growth from when she started dispatch to this point is so incredibly good. The stuff with claudette was so good, and I actually wish they would have explored her and may more than just the 3 episodes they were really in together. And then the may bobby stuff :((( so good. “I have two dads and youre one of them” and after bobby accidentally said he was her dad that morning… so good (david Im so sorry she didnt mean it). Literally what a good psuedo send off for corinne. Okay eddie HES SO HOT THIS EPISODE YAY. Literally 90% of my context for this ep was hot eddie may day edits lmao and it did not disappoint. But more importantly “god has spoken” eddielinda forever <3 it was sush a good line and such a fun pay off for the eddie linda stuff in 5x11. Okay the chim albert stuff… circling back to your answer to my original ask it was very not spoilery and I probably would have been fine to read it lol BUT crucially the one thing I did not know in your answer was that there was chim plot in this episode so in the end Im glad I didnt read it. I literally thought it was only may/claudette/bobby/eddie with the weird bucktaylorlucy stuff at the end. And let me tell you my heart dropped when chim and albert walked on that roof. I literally started crying and 911 is not even a show I tear up at that often. And then the moment when chim told albert to quit :’) so so good. And now Im even more mad at albert for 6x10 like why tf would he do that. Anyways. Josh yay I hope hes still dating that man Im so serious. I dont even care about him that much but Im sorry the only romance adjacent plots he has cannot be a hate crime and a man he flirted with once and never talked to again. Okay and buck. Why was he literally way more upset about bobby here than he was at any point in the 7x10 finale LMAO. The difference between the buck/lucy talk in this ep and that buck/tommy talk is actually insane, and yeah Im starting to see why people were so upset tommy was acting that way in the s7 finale. Anyways I dont really want to talk about him… how did taylor kelly sus out bucklucy from a conversation she couldnt hear while she stared at the back of their heads. Like 😭 okay final little thought was the way parts of this episode were written made me giggle. There was so much going on which is probably what makes it work so well but terry (hi king long time no see!!) was literally like sue I was asphyxiating like 60 minutes ago but the paramedics said Im fine now where do you need me. And then linda was like josh I cant leave Im literally on a call. Only for the call to end like 10s later haha. Okay and overall the thing thats so interesting to me is that this ep was definitely a tier above most of s5 but also it was an episode that was majorly focused on minor characters. Eddie aside, this ep was mostly about may/claudette/albert/josh with chim and bobby tied in with albert and may respectively. And its so interesting to me how well it worked here when generally their focus on minor characters felt so off in 5a. Oh well

Tl;dr: Im soooo happy I went into may day mostly blind it was actually sooo good, lived up to the hype and probably will be added to my episode of all time/rewatch roster which is very exclusive (maybe 10 eps). And thank YOU for the very mild encouragement to actually sit down and watch s5 in its entirety finally. I have so many thoughts about it all lol this is barely scratching the surface (like how the whole finale was basically about love stories and they made a point to show everyone starting over together and buck helping eddie start over while also deciding not to start over with taylor ANYWAYS) (also just remembered they destroyed a whole fire truck in the s5 finale only for bobby to be angsty about it for like 2 seconds and never talk about it again lmao what was that about. No wonder fox is broke)

omg im not gonna comment on all this but i enjoyed hearing about your enjoyment of 5b immensely!!!!!!!!! and i had forgotten about all that weird continuity stuff in 5x18 HOW WAS THAT NOT CAUGHT???

and YAY MAY DAY!!!!! in my heart, josh and carson or whatever his name is are still an item 🫶 i literally wrote him into a fic once thats how serious i am about it. no but literally the way the lucy taylor stuff went down was all so odd. like. buck never told her it was lucy he kissed but she just. divined i guess???? from a single not even flirtatious conversation???? some of the writing choices in this show do baffle me. like they are taking short cuts they dont need to take.

and wow honestly now that you've pointed that out about the minor characters i can't not see it. kind of same thing with defend in place!!!!!! like michael/david are supporting characters, ravi too, and they got the main focus in the episode. dang. im gonna be thinking about this for a while.

thank you also for mentioning the patching the holes scene in 5x18 because that scene is so so so soooooo sos so important in the pantheon of like, minor buddie scenes. like that's a load-bearing scene TO ME.

also please share with me your exclusive list of rewatch episodes. the people are dying to know!!!

[b0mblover]

Snowflakes and drugs dont mix (that) well

By: J

(im not even kidding while writing this i got such bad eye pain, i stg lopt is just tormenting me anytime i do anything related to jirou without him in it)

(also this is prob extremely ooc bc im basically describing/romantasiing my own life :,) yes my life sucks dont remind me)

(again, im very muchly not a writer, i was bored and decied to make the probably first jirocrown fic of life 🙂 im genuinely sorry to anyone who reads this shit)

(anon on twt, gfys, and no this isnt supposed to be taken that damn seriously, ik theres an asston of mistakes, but its almost 3 am and i need to sleep!! alr alr u can read it now chill)

-5° (c 23°f) -5° it was cold out, extremely cold. Jirou was walking on a backroad, he didnt know what it was called, even though he had been down it hundreds of times. Around 1 (am) Crown said hed pay him for a drug run, which was rather normal, go on a drug run, hang out with crown, sleep, go home. The only issue was that it took around 30 minutes or so to get there, also normally okay, in the summer. Where he lived, got extremely cold in the winter months, in a “im going to call off of work today because ill get frostbite if i try to go outside” way. This wouldnt be an issue if there was public transport, but of course, the world apparently hated jirou. Jirou was half way there, hands almost shaking because of the temperature, he dealt with the cold ironically well, the reason it didnt bother him as much as normal people was unimportant to him. (reason is because he used to sit on the porch to not hear his parents fight, though it never really worked that well) Maybe it was a fragile ego, maybe he was just broke, but hed never wear gloves, even with the possibility of frostbite taking his hands. He knocked on Crowns door, though he had a key, he felt like he could barely move any joints in his hand to grab them. After a 3 rough minutes, Crown answered the door letting him in. “Ah th thanks, ‘preciate ya getting the shit” Crown handed him  about ¥14000 “This is too much crown” “nah its freezing out plus ive been meaning to pay ya back anyways” “I, if you say so” he was hesitant to take it, but ultimately decided that, crown, a literal serial killer, wouldnt decide to screw him over, at least not like that. 

As normal, they both walked over to the (admittedly dirty) couch, crown, in a pose that was slightly… provocative, jirou sitting normally (as normal as a gay man can). Crown sat a powder on to the table, “uh you gotta card or somethin dude?” jirou handed him a razor blade, “uh vaguely concerned as to why you carry that but thanks either way, uh youre not gonna like use that now though right?” “nnah, dumbass i know what youre doing im staring right at you, why would i hand you something that i was gonna use” “i mean look, you made paintings out of your own blood, for no real reason either! youre not as predictable as you think” “whatever ya say just hurry up” “damn why you say impatient huh?” crown brought his face down to the table after making the powder into a mostly straight line. “Cause i want my share already and you take too long” Crown tossed him the razor blade, jirou aligned the powder into a straighter line than crowns, and snorted it as well. “Yeayea whatever man, the hell should we do any ways, too cold to go out, any ideas?” “sure i have several but the last time we did any of my ideas someone had to be killed cause they were a witness” “ah right, well uh, wanna play uno?” “gonna be real with ya c, the joints in my fingers feel like the are fucking screwed shut at the moment so I’m gonna have to pass” “your joints where what” “*sighs* (bc how do u write a sigh phonetically) fingers too cold, fingers barely move because cold” “oh, what nah lemme feel bro” “fine fine whatever” crown moved his hands onto Jirous, and, of course, they were extremely cold. “Damn dude what the hell, how long where you outside for?” “uh i mean i was smoking when you texted so at least like i dunno 15 minutes more than normal?” “man the hell, cmere” crown had gotten closer and brought Jirou into a hug, granted it didn’t do much, the heating and cooling had been busted for months, crown was surviving on 15 blankets, but it felt nice. Jirou was aware that hugging someone, at least in the position they were in, wouldn’t do much, but he let crown anyways, for a drug addicted serial killer, he always felt at home with Crown, wanted. “Ugh alright alright c i get it okay? i love you too chill” “if i were to chill at the moment id freeze to death jirou” “yea yea i get it kay? I’m gonna go lay down” “right behind ya” Crown followed Jirou into the one bedroom that was there, it was noticeably colder than other rooms such as the living room, but it was much more “lively” or “lived in” plus the mattress on the ground that they insisted on calling a bed with 15 blankets kinda made up for it too. Jirou fell onto the mattress, groaning out a tiny bit before going quite again. Crown sat himself down on the opposite side, pulling two of the blankets off where they were stacked before getting under the one that was already on the bed. Jirou did the same after taking his socks off, he recalled how when this first started, how crown and him would fight about if he should take his jacket off before laying down. back then he’d say it was because he was cold, maybe it was slightly true, or the fact he didn’t want him to see his cuts and scars. After a particularly awful trip Jirou experienced after taking way too much of god knows what and almost having to go to the er, crown was, for lack of a better term in his eyes, well aware, of Jirous life, he broke down to him. After that he was careful with what he said before Jirou called him out for walking on eggshells around him, annoyed that crown was essentially “babying him”, granted unknown if it was on purpose or not. Jirou after laying down, staring at the ceiling, got closer to crown, almost suffocating him with his (fucking gigantic) oversized jacket. Crown moved what he assumed was the hood of the jacket so he could breath and brought Jirou into a tight hug. Jirou accepted, pushing into it instead of pulling away like usual. Crown could feel how cold his skin was, and how warm he felt inwardly.

[eeveekitti]

gngjngnjfkndnkdkd sorry to all my followers i just. i have literally fucking nowhere to put this and nobody to talk to about it since its really fucking late so.

really long vent warning below the cut sorry

ughhhh im fucking. im so mad at myself. i just. i cant keep doing this i cant keep fucking up and losing everyone i care about because i cant keep my stupid mouth shut

its always some misunderstanding or some shit where ive already apologized and i dont get why its still happening or why i had to be the center of negative attention all of a sudden

ive already lost every friend i had twice. i cant. i cant take this again. one small disagreement and i cant fucking take it i cant talk to anyone anymore theyre all gonna hate me because i had to walk away unnanounced and shut the fuck up so i could just calm down

i cant be less than perfect. i cant mess up. because when i do everyone leaves me. i dont feel safe anymore. i didnt respond when someone was mad because i was on the verge of a fucking breakdown and it just made everything worse

its a trauma response i know its trauma i know i have that and it fucks with my brain daily one disagreement over something as small as character designs shouldnt fuck me up so bad ive been holding in a full mental breakdown for hours now fucking hours

they all hate me now i know they do. i may as well just leave before it all comes crashing down for real. if im gonna lose absolutely everyone all over again for a third time in a row it might as well be on my own terms.

why cant i just be perfect why do i have to make mistakes why does nobody take sorry and leave it why does everyone have to make everything so much worse than it had to be why has this happened to me three times three fucking times right when i feel comfortable and safe and happy everything gets wrenched from my hands all over again

i can barely even see what im typing theres too many tears in my eyes i hate myself so much i hate that this happens to me why is this happening to me why does this have to happen to me why cant i just finally be happy for once

im sorry to anyone who sat through and read that. i know nobody did but. im sorry anyway. i dont want to burden anyone more than i have already. thats why i put this all in a fucking tumblr post. i just cant tell anyone any of this without being a horrible burden.

[ventingoutmyass]

4.25.23

ill die one day. probably soon. please, if youre reading this, let my friends know.

i worry for them worrying for me. they need to know i care for them, no matter how little it seems. i care for them greatly. such different experiences, far away places from eachother, far away stories and lives outside our little bubble together. theres so much beauty in them, so much love and light i see in them, that we all see in eachother. 

tell them im sorry. sorry for it all. 

they were the last little bit of life i allowed myself, meeting them just after my biggest dip so far. human connection, such a great necessity, and they were the exception i made to my big rule. not on purpose, but it just happened that way, the way they grew on me, i clung to them many times before i allowed the twig to snap, those days back in october. i stopped talking to them, like i hadnt so every free moment and opportunity until that point. i let my head do the thing, the test, the “will they notice if i disappear”. i knew it was a mistake even as i made it, yet i allowed myself to get carried away into it. three weeks, it took. at the time it shocked me that it took so long. now i wonder how many months after my disappearance it would take until somebody once again asked the question. “Has anybody heard from them?”, and the simultaneous triple message from the other three. it would take months only of my own fault, vanishing often weeks at a time. its my fault. it always is, with issues such as these. 

tell them there was nothing to be done. tell them of how i cared for them. tell them of the screenshots of my favorite jokes, of the open tabs i keep of their stories, of the silent admiration for their passions and talents i keep to myself. oh how i respect them, oh how i cherish them. how i loved the feeling of meeting people, for the first time, who made me feel i could belong. the stories of the people i hold so dearly who i wouldnt meet for many years, if ever at all. 

the people whom ive read, whove never read me. maybe they could read me in this, i allow that. provide them this resource. allow them to find the bits and pieces of who they might know, in these short essays here and there. of the time or two which ive mentioned them. in the detail or two of who i am and the life ive lived, of the person i wished i had been, in the place id wished to leave. they know my real name. not the one picked for me, but the piece of it i chose for myself. one of them helped me to make that choice. the same person dictated its pronunciation. i had chosen against it over the years, but as soon as they spoke it the first time, it felt like mine; a gift. to cherish for the last of life i will live, for as long as i live it. that is me, and theyve all known it. they see me, perhaps in the way i wish all would. the truth ive always wanted. 

tell them i didnt mean to abandon them. tell them i would choose them over and over again in any other life, in every other body and mind than this. theyre worth it. they have names, they have lives, and faces and voices and dreams. i can not share them with you. i can not share anything. i am selfish in that. you will not know them as i do. but they will know. they know who they are. they know of me. they are the beauty i couldnt sacrifice to find for myself.