#i didnt make it to 3am on the late night dance

[todaysromano]

10.16.2023

Today, Romano woke up tired, so he took a morning and an afternoon nap.

[godzexperiment]

yet again we got that modern verse(s) brain rot folks-

-he is very much in stories, told about him that he doesn't know about... he is vaguely aware it comes with life but opts rather not think of it

-living off an fake id only because when he first wandered into his like go to bar/club *where he plays onstage at times/is around the most people the most frequently* (some guy was like ???? 'it's so weird you got in without one? or dont have an id and that is kind of huge if you want to do lots of things especially drink' and thusly nix sought to correct said issue) but anything else? it just goes over his head... like he had nobody offering advice/no need so yeah -favorite 'defacing' of public property is elaborate chalk pastel art on buildings/pavement (he especially enjoys doing it at like 3am after an rainy day so that maybe some passerby might be like 'okay life sucks an little less' seeing it and sometimes he does it knowing it's going to rain) but he also very much does other stuff/is somebody who'll draw little smiley faces places for fun -often obtains flowers from grocery stores as an little treat for himself (how he comes by them... is not usually by purchase) and goes about like pressing them,etc to preserve them often *thusly very often has flowers he's drying/in containers around his place-live ones near the few windows etc* -does an lot of 'morally good/for the better of society' things just without considering that aspect to it all, he dumpster dives often and like yeah he does things like donate what he can,etc but it's just like the palms of his hands *something that's just that big an deal to him*

-depending, might just have something like an traffic light sat in a corner and if somebody gets to be in his space/opts to comment he'll be like you don't get to know it nearly crushed me but... 'i'm planning to modify it with mood lighting or something' -has kept track of all his antics on the radio (he can tell you which siblings he's made jokes about/that 'two thursdays ago I went off topic talking about how beautiful people are and got an text in the morning from like the owner asking me if i could have phrased motherfucking masterpieces better') in general dude still very much absorbs what he is told,etc -always has snacks+energy drinks or soda,etc in his thigh holster bag and various other things (bobby pins, safety pins, hair ties,etc in case anybody he bumps into is like 'ah shit i need x due to an issue' etc) as such often has little moments where people are like 'wow this is going to mean i dont feel silly on my date' etc and nix is just like :) that is so cool, i did an good anyways.... -usually keeps flight to his warehouse space/wherever but sometimes has scheduled moments+situations where it's just like speeding through the air+doing tricks,etc (dude loves utilizing rooftops for this- run jumping an stupidly large gap no human could make and opening his wings to glide across etc) -which wing maintenance? given how durable they are isn't like an major deal etc but some nights he just gets overwhelmed with the 'if i get paint on them? it sticks and dries but wont flake off etc???? what do I do? i don't have anybody to ask for how to handle it or to help and that makes me feel awful' -does have his fake id choices memorized but also 'i dont remember what fake birthday i gave myself' types of situation which mixes with his anxious/existent nature to lie etc whoops nor does he really have an fake history sorted (sometimes, he'll metaphor and adapt things 'yeah im the youngest out of lots of siblings- i didnt really know them though growing up' etc) -sometimes dances along to the music in his headphones; typically when he's doing late night/wee am hours grocery shopping and is 100% an kicks against the ground to glide the cart faster from point a to b (never any crashing hazard as were he to encounter another/or some display he can you know quickly stop, redirect his pathing) *he's totally done it and had some little kid wide eyed like 'i just learned cool forbidden knowledge'* -as established he does not contain much money *often spending it faster than he obtains any/usually on others+donations places etc and like you know "theft"* but he certainly keeps change,etc to put in say parking meters or an quarter to offer somebody who could use it,etc (physical currency is his vibe; also he very much enjoys claw machines at the store)

-which he also tends to despite hating being in public,etc will take time to put things where they belong/fix messes at stores if he comes across it (somebody dumped clothes here on top the soda cases and- it wont take me more than an minute to return it where it belongs) -remarkably despite clumsy accidents often especially due to traffic; has yet to end up having to brush off ems/emts and such fuss. that would be like 'hmm you already seem to be healed, not that hurt?' yeah no nix knows that would be Terrible and doesn't even go anywhere close to such places

-might foster kittens for quite some time, depending on various circumstances and overall is often prone to 'yeah this stray kitten wouldn't stop following me so now is napping in the hood of my jacket till we get to the vet'

-enjoys being on roofs when it's rainy/outside in general during stormy weather especially if it's summer rain and getting caught in sudden rainy weather doesn't bother him (if anything were he hanging around somebody and they darted to get out of it he'd just stand there like xD while getting soaked to the bone teasing them over it)

-likes walking along things like parking spot buffers, fountain edges etc and will sometimes go out of his way to do so without actually thinking much about it

[fiercedancers]

I wanna take a nap but I always suddenly feel awake by the time I get home so I can’t fall asleep

[chrisdiels-babygirl]

Standing in the dark

So I decided to post it tonight instead of tomorrow night just in case I don't have WiFi tomorrow night. I hope you enjoy. This is my original writing please do not copy it, changing the boy or small little details is still copying, if I find out anyone copied my writing I will report your sorry ass✌🏼😗

Sitting here wide awake, thinking about when I last saw you.

I know you're not far away, close my eyes and I still see you

Lying here next to me

Wearing nothing but a smile

I gotta leave right away

Richard sat wide awake on a Friday night at 3am he couldn't help thinking about you, the girl he'd let get away. The two of you had a very on again off again situationship, you had always wanted more from him while he didnt want to be tied down and that would always start the arguments that led to you taking a break, but Richard never worried, in a day or two you'd make up. That was until one night, he thought about you were laying in his bed completely naked, the thin sheet covering your bottom half, your hair sprawled out on the pillow as you softly snored. The trouble started when you woke up thats when the fight started just like usual, but what richard hadn't noticed was this was the last time he would be having this argument with you. He did love you he just couldn't give you what you needed at the time.

counting cracks along the pavement.

To see you face to face thinking about the conversation

I know I'm not one to change

Never wanted nothing more

But as I walk up to your door

Richard realized he had to do something, he had to see you face to face, you only lived a fifteen minute walk away, he had to see you, he had to tell you how he felt, it was better late than never right. I mean it had been a year since he'd last saw you, but he'd been miserable without you, he was just too stubborn to pick up the phone or go see you. He knew he had never been a fan of commitment but as he made his way up to your front door in the middle of the night he had come to the realization that you were the exception, the only one he was willing to even think about settling down with.

All I wanna do is hide but I can't stop myself from staring.

Wishing his hands were mine, I can't stop myself from caring.

And as he turns down the lights ...

I'm feeling paralyzed, as he looks into her eyes

He watched as you opened the door your hair desheviled with a thin pink silk robe loosely tied around your body, hugging your figure beautifully and your tired eyes, he couldn't believe it you had managed to get even more beautiful If that was even possible since the last time he'd seen you. You looked at him with shock on your face not expecting to see him at your front door at nearly 4am "Richard what are you doing here?" He look up at you with the sadness on full display in his eyes. He took a deep breath "y/n, baby I miss you, look I was stupid to let you go, I couldn't give you wanted a year ago but I'm definitely ready now, I promise, just give me one more shot" you softly sighed and looked at him with remorse written all over your face. To tell the truth you were a little pissed off, it took him a whole year to realize he wanted to be with you, what the hell were you supposed to do, stick around and just wait for him to figure it out, unbelievable. You looked up as you felt a presence behind you and a deep voice asked "sweetheart who's at the door" you immediately seen the hurt plastered across Richard's face, as annoyed as you were with him for taking this long you still felt bad because you knew how much it must of took for him to come here in the first place "oh you've got a new boyfriend now I see" Richard said awkwardly shuffling from one foot to the other, you looked up with sadness in your eyes "we're engaged" his eyes quickly darted to the sparkly ring adorning you dainty little finger that he'd previously missed when looking you over. He looked up with dispair in his eyes "congratulations y/n I'm happy for you, I should probably get going".

Standing in the dark, she's dancing on the table.

I'm looking through the glass, she's someone else's angel.

It may sound stupid that I wanted you back but I wanted you back girl.

And now I'm standing in the dark

Of course it had to be the one night Richard had decided to go out since hearing about your engagement, he had gone to a club with the boys to drown his sorrows, he knew it'd been a year but he'd never expected you to move on, he'd always thought that you end up with him, but there he was trying to drink the pain away when in through the door you walked with all of your friends, it was your bachlorette party, great just what he needed, but he had to face facts he'd messed up, you were no longer his, you were someone else's angel now and he was left standing in the dark.

[cncobby]

rainy/lazy days with cnco

uh disclaimer this is my first hc after finals and my brain lowkey is fried so i hope it isnt trash :D ily all

RICHARD

LOVES rainy days he gets to spend with aaliyah

you three have a very specific rainy day routine 

aaliyah is the first to wake up 

jumps in between you two

“ITS RAINING !!!!!!!”

at first richards like wtf its so EARLY

but then he see’s how excited aaliyah is and 

soft™ richard comes out immediately

breakfast consists of waffles with a TON of whipped cream and syrup

coffee for you and richard, hot chocolate for aaliyah

disney movie marathon of course

aaliyah puts on her fave disney princess dress 

she forces u and richard to dress up too

(richard in a plastic tiara is the best part of the whole day)

lots of duets between richard and aaliyah

arguing over which disney princess is the best

aaliyah ends up getting sleepy after your third movie 

canoodling time for u and richard ;)))

i just imagine lots of deep convos and cuddling during rainy days

small things like him playing with your fingers

you tracing over his tattoos

deep talks about the future 

“i want a family with you”

he like lowkey panics bc ur silent

“not riGHT NOW BUT-”

cutting him off with a kiss 

“shut up u dingus i want a family with you too, i just didnt wanna start crying”

JOEL

lots of early morning cuddling

you guys are both awake but just laying in each others arms

listening to the pitter patter of the rain

playing with his messy curls while he traces figures on your skin

*muffled* “joel we should really get up”

“five more minutes mom”

you guys eventually move the cuddling to the living room 

but first !! breakfast

making a special pancake breakfast that u guys have specifically reserved for rainy days

(joel acts like its so prestigious but its really just chocolate chip pancakes with other normal breakfast foods)

rainy days are sacred movie days

all of ur fave movies

watching bootleg musicals together??? yes

reenacting scenes from RENT, newsies, and in the heights

(convincing him do a wicked duet with u was the best decision ever)

(he makes a very handsome fiyero)

“may i have this dance m’lady?”

“are you asking me to dance with you to the hamilton soundtrack?”

“yes i am”

after lots of convincing he lets u straighten his curls

(its not a good look)

bubble baths together???? yes pls

romantic baths with candles and wine 

ERICK

you guys play soo many board games

u get hella competitive

but also suck at monopoly so he’s purposely letting u win

just to see ur cute reaction everytime he fake lands on your property

teaching him how to play chess

“but WHY can the pawn only move diagonal sometimes???”

“i honestly have no explaination babe thats the rule”

baking!!!

lots of smooches in the kitchen

making and decorating sugar cookies

“ur not allowed to show the boys these babe they’re all for me”

“well too bad i already made some for them”

“hEY i’m your bf i get cookie dibs”

a food fight happens suddenly????

u guys are a MESS 

there is flour everywhere and suddenly he’s kissing whipped cream off your mouth

eventually u abandom baking and end up buying cake

late night walk through the rain

you guys end up at a cozy cafe

end up sitting by the fireplace until 3am just talking to each other

he piggybacks u home bc ur literally half asleep when u leave

ZABDIEL

you guys def sleep in till noon at the very least

you’re obviously the first one up

he wakes up to the smell of you making coffee

*wrapping his arms around your waist*

“smells good amor”

“breakfast is on the way, i ordered doordash”

um harry potter movie marathon obviously???

you both know the movie by heart

reenacting scenes together

(ok but the sexual tension when you guys recreate the harry draco duel???)

*zabdiel pinning you to the couch*

“scared potter??”

*pushing him off of you*

“you wish nerd”

wearing your matching harry potter robes ofc

him playing guitar and trying to teach u guitar!!!!

“and put that finger there - why do you have such small hands for”

“wELL NOT ALL OF US ARE GIANTS”\

doing dumb shit like making him give u a piggyback around your entire house

“ONWARD TO THE KITCHEN”

him pretending to drop you

eventually he actually does but catches u in time and plays it off with a kiss

“nice try dork”

CHRISTOPHER

gets really excited bc he has an excuse to just stay inside all day

you’re barely awake when he carries you into the living room

“christopher what the fu-”

“loOK I MADE A PILLOW FORT”

you turn ur head and there lies the biggest pillow fort youve ever seen

“we’re not allowed to leave this fort since its raining”

“chris i have work to do”

“nOT TODAY YOU DONT”

grocery run to get ur fave unhealthy snacks

i feel like he’d love having you read to him??

like imagine cuddling and reading aloud to him while he plays with your hair

you guys end up ordering pizza and opening a bottle of wine and stay up the entire night talking about dumb stuff

dancing in the rain!!!

he’d prob get the dumb idea to kiss in the rain bc its romantic

so he pulls you out into the rain and you guys end up getting soaked 

but its all worth it bc he’s spinning you around and smooching you like theres no tomorrow

[squishysvt]

Best Friend! Yuta

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N i havent posted in like 5 years and i have no excuse and this wasnt even requested but there is an extreme lack of yuta content and i decided to make it myself smh ANYWAYS i liked writing this a lot and feedback is encouraged!!! lov u lil squishies muah <33 -Admin Madi

ALSO this was inspired by this post from @xuxi-rolls and this post from @youaremychwingum which are both amazingly cute blogs and people so go check them out!

Backstory first! You two met in the 3rd grade when he was deep in his anime phase and you were obsessed with collecting erasers that were shaped like weird things such as lipstick tubes and paintbrushes

Yuta stole the paintbrush one and started using it like a sword like a character from his fav anime and boy when you saw him do that were you were like “im gonna do it. Im gonna kill him”

You literally stomped your lil sketcher clad feet over to his desk and YANKED that shit from his chubby fingers with zero remorse

And he started crying and you felt bad and were like “well fine you can have it i guess”

And he immediately stops his FAKE crying bc hes a snake and sticks his tongue out at you as he snatches the eraser back

And you went into full Attack Mode and you two got into a small fist fight and the teacher had to break it up it was nasty

Anyways after you two went through the next year having some major beef, yuta apologised bc he’s a gentleman and even bought you a new eraser!

It was shaped like a dinosaur and you loved it so much that you instantly forgave him bc you didnt have an eraser in that shape yet!!

And he was beaming after seeing ur face light up like that and proudly pulled a matching dino eraser from his back pocket and was like “we match!! We can be best friends now!”

And you Loved that idea you were like yes okay first order of business: more erasers

Anyways you two just instantly clicked bc ur sense of humor was v v similar and life became so much more enjoyable with having him there to share the experience with you

Throughout ur many years of friendship, Yuta had always wanted nothing more than for your friendship to be comfortable, honest and loving

You’re the one that he rants to, gushes to and confides to so your friendship to him is so precious

And as you grew older and gained more freedom, both of you started to do more things outside of school like go on late night drives, go to the movies, amusements parks and out to eat every other day

And it became natural and routinely that going days without one another felt weird??

And you and yuta have discussed the idea of maybe you two being soul mates, but in a completely platonic way

Like you were two halves meant to come together

And yuta liked to reinforce this idea bc when it comes to being lovers, you shouldn’t be looking for your other half, but rather looking for the person who already makes you feel whole

And so when y’all graduated from high school you immediately got an apartment together!

It’s definitely not very fancy or anything since you both only had part time jobs here and there during the school years and summers, but it’s better than nothing!

And although yuta and you are similar, your styles are where you really begin to differ

While he wants to have pictures of mountains and gardens hanging on the living room walls, you would rather have mirrors shaped like suns and fairy lights behind the couch

And obviously after some friendly banter, you come to an agreement that a painting of pretty outside scenery at night would look great with some fairy lights to compliment it!!

And so your apartment quickly becomes a mesh of your style with his and it’s oddly nice?? Like who would’ve thought that yuta’s knick knacks from japan would look so cute next to your family photos

It’s a two bedroom apartment but you both end up sleeping on the couch in a heap more often than you’d like to admit

You’re both in uni doing ur own things so when its time to come home and relax, you’ll find yourself curled up next to him on the couch with your laptop open and writing a paper while he’s munching on some snacks and watching a game of soccer he missed bc of classes

And you’ll quickly fall asleep bc papers are boring!! And yuta doesnt want to move bc your laying on him and doesnt want to disturb you so he’ll just quietly cheer to himself when his team scores and eventually falls asleep

But sometimes he has no problem lightly shoving you off and going to his own bed bc the couch isnt really that comfortable and hurts his back after awhile, but he brings your duvet out so its more comfortable for you at least

And although you two are pretty much joint at the hip, your bedrooms are private from one another

Like its nice being with yuta, but its also very important that you have time to yourself and so neither of you are intrusive when the other person is in their room with the door shut

If either of you need anything you’ll just shoot each other a text or quietly knock on the door rather than just barging in which is something that both of you really appreciate

And you obviously have other friends besides yuta that you love dearly! And you make sure that you get to see them often and that yuta goes out with his friends too bc its easy to get sick of each other no matter how much you love one another

And this makes for your friendship to be healthy! Which is like, the most important thing bc being your own person is important and having close relationships/friendships is also important! But its easy to get too attached and end up hurting yourself down the road

And yuta is aware of this as well and so it makes things a lot easier bc he knows when you need your space and when to distance himself if he needs it too

But living with yuta is a lot of fun!

He likes to cook sometimes so you’ll always have a full tummy with yuta around!! And if he's not in the mood for slaving over the stove, he’ll just make some instant noodles and call it a day

He really tries to make as many traditional japanese dishes as he can so he can have a slice of his home whenever he’s feeling down, and he just really enjoys sharing that part of his life with you too

Undoubtedly his favorite part is when he gets to hand feed you with a spoon and witness the look on your face as you chew bc it’s really rewarding for him

Sometimes your schedules kind of clash on days so whenever he’s home and you’re in class, he’ll make food for himself and leave you tupperware containers of food in the fridge for you to heat up when you get back bc he knows you’ll just crash and not eat which is really bad

And yuta cares about ur health!!! He’s attentive as heck!!

But you’ll do the same thing for him, and even if you aren't a world renowned chef, you’ll lay cash on the counter for him to call in a pizza or something quick

If you know he’s been craving something then you’ll leave the number for the place next to the money you leave so it makes ordering a bit easier for him!

Also, yuta is very organized! Sometimes he’ll throw his jacket here and there or have some things where they shouldn’t be, but yuta really likes having a clean and tidy apartment!

He hates doing the dishes, but he’ll literally do anything else

He likes to vacuum for some reason you dont know but you’re like okay have at it! One less thing i gotta do! And he’s really happy once he’s done bc BAM you have clean floors

And you’ll just be sarcastic about it but in a loving way and he laps that shit up bc sarcasm!!! His second language <333

You two have a nightly routine that ensues when neither of you are busy the next day so  you’ll watch a movie on netflix you’ve been eyeing together and crash

Sometimes when yuta gets home on these nights you’ll still be in the shower or getting ready for bed, and yuta will come in and sit on the counter and you’ll talk about your day and just chill while shampooing ur hair (which yuta is obsessed with btw..he loves touching and playing with it)

But he’ll just be there,,listening closely and telling you about his own day while drawing squiggly images on the mirror like hearts and stick figures holding hands (its always you and him, but when you ask, he insists its him and winwin)

And you laugh bc boy does ur bff ever have a massive crush on sicheng!!

But yuta is just cute and likes your platonicness with him

Bc he really does love you! People often ask you two if you’re dating and you can see why people would ask that bc you and yuta are super close, but it’s also kind of an odd thought to both of you bc yeah you love each other but,,,not as lovers

And so you’ll laugh it off and talk about it afterwards bc you really cant see each other in that light because you tried dating in high school and it just felt kind of weird

Yuta loves to tease and joke around with you, sometimes be a little (read; lot) sarcastic with his jokes but he really does care about u and thats how he shows his affection!!

He’ll hold ur hand when ur out at the grocery store or shopping together and likes to pat your head and plays with your ears but thats about it for physical affection!

You’re emotionally bonded more so than physically which is not a bad thing uwu

Yuta finds it kind of hard to openly joke around to the same extent with others as he does to you and knowing this makes you feel really special

Like yeah!! Thats right!!! Im his best friend!!

Yuta also LOVES to dance with you

It doesn’t matter if it’s serious or not, he will not hesitate to pull you up onto ur feet and have you dancing with him

ESP to sistars shake it! Y’all have so much fun when that song comes on

At first this was embarrassing but then yuta would just NOT stop shaking his butt so you were like oh well lets both look cutely dumb i guess

And you’ll get noise complaints a lot bc the walls are thin and you’re moving around, creating a lot of noise and you feel especially bad when this is all happening at like,,,3am

Anyways you live kind of a fast pace life so whenever you gotta be somewhere you kinda fly out the door with ur feet shoved into ur shoes with the backs down and yuta will silently come behind you and remind you to slow down and will bend down and personally make sure they’re on properly so you don’t trip and die

It annoys him sometimes bc you should be taking better care of yourself and he’s not always going to be there to look after you and that worries him!!!

To allow him to sleep a little better at night, he bought you slide on shoes that you can easily shove on and fly out the door so he won’t have a heart attack at the thought of you falling down some stairs due to the hastiness of which you put your sneakers on improperly

And he’s also the one who is like “hey its been a couple of months so i bought you a new toothbrush bc dental hygiene is important” and you’re like “okay nice i just bought some new toothpaste on sale the other day, it’s minty so i think you’ll like it”

And this is how you two co-exist in ur shitty lil apartment

Yuta is also into soccer so you always make sure to go and support him at his games! Even if they’re just practices or whatnot, you’ll always be on the bleachers cheering for him!

Which yuta LOVES because he’ll point you out to his teammates and be like “thats my best friend, ugly, right?” and they’ll just laugh bc of his teasing and they can tell you two really get along

And yuta is uwu x100 at this

Anyways yuta likes to show off and do fancy tricks like sliding on the grass to get the ball and he’s all dirty when you get back to ur apartment together and you wont let him touch anything bc that means more cleaning which neither of u have the energy for

So you’ll basically make him take VERY large and wide steps towards the bathroom so he can shower and leave minimal dirt behind as he does so

And then he’ll come out of the shower with wet hair and clean up the tracks he left with a paper towel but he’ll go in circles for a good 30 seconds wiping up dirt and then water from his wet hair

And you’ll observe him and laugh for a bit before you’ll drape a fluffy towel over his head and he’ll pretend to be scared and ask who turned off the lights

To which you nudge him and call him a dork, but when he takes the towel off and get to look at his face, you tell him he did a great job at the game and his eyes will change from playful teasing to filled with genuine love in .5 seconds and he’ll instantly wrap you in his arms

And you’ll find warmth in his embrace and wonder why he smells so good and then you’ll realize he’s using your shampoo

You’re like okay well, sigh, whatever its okay bc hes cute i guess so we can share

And then yuta will pull away, give your head an affectionate pat and go work on a paper or something due for school

Which you both do a lot of late night paper writing sessions and so when he tells you he’s retreating to his room for the night you’ll go and cut up some fruit and gather some snacks he likes and bring them to him before he becomes too absorbed in schoolwork

And he does the same to you except he brings you a lot of water since its “important to stay hydrated~!” and will cover you in his favorite blanket bc he claims it “helps you write better papers”

And you arent allowed to refuse bc one time you tried to and yuta was like “okay well i guess i’ll be moving out then” and you’re like okay i know you’re joking but its hot in here i dont want to have a blanket on me

And yuta starts to dramatically pick things off of shelves until he’s saying things like “i’ll be out by morning since im not appreciated” and you’re rolling your eyes so hard you think they’ll go to the back of your head but its like okay fine thank you for your magic blanket houdini

Yuta just winks at you and does a theatrical bow before putting everything back and leaving you to write your magical paper

ANYWAYS thats what most nights are like, full of playful banter and fun talks

You also both THRIVE off the dollar store which is literally everything bc you two get so excited going in there!

They have everything so its like?? This place is my Second Home and i Love it Dearly

And yuta likes to buy candy there since its so cheap and one time when you were looking for a new broom, he wanders off and comes back with his hands behind his back and is like “guess what i found!!!”

And this is nothing new because yuta gets excited about the cutest things so you’re like “gum?”

And his smile gets all wide and bright like i KNOW you know the one im talking about, it’s literally kept me alive for the past 18 years

And he’ll bring his hands out and WOW ARE THOSE ERASERS THAT ARE SHAPED AS SMALL ORDINARY OBJECTS??

And you just want to CRY bc thats literally the sole being of your friendship in his HANDS!

Yuta is proud as heck and buys two matching ones for you two and they’re of paintbrushes in honor of the one he snatched in the third grade!

Which makes your heart so happy and content

But thats the effect yuta has on you! Someone who always manages to have you smiling and happy with life

But he does end up buying candy bc its basically your duty as a human to buy some expired candy from the local dollar store

And yuta really loves the flavor blue raspberry, esp if its sour and he finds a bag of sour jolly ranchers and goes nuts

And he picks out and religiously eats only the blue ones, a red one makes the cut here and there, but you’re like?? Yuta?? Can i atleast have ONE? And he rarely ever shares but its like okay whatever enjoy your cavities heathen

And you’ll clown the shit out of him bc his tongue is blue, his teeth are blue and the area around his mouth is blue and you cant just let that pass

And he’ll laugh when you try and come up with palpable things to call him, and when you’re both giggling uncontrollably, he’ll try to kiss your cheek bc he’s all sticky and he knows that would drive you mad

And its the same with his fingers bc theyre all blue and sticky too and he’ll hold your hand so hard that your fingers stick together and youre like yuta!!!! But you really secretly enjoy it

And then you’ll go home with bags full of god knows what and struggle to find places for everything but its okay bc the memories that come with the plastic bags and erasers from your childhood remind you why you love yuta as much as you do

Can you tell i love yuta yet or is this au too vague <3333

[llampacaeatingguppy]

*me, shaking* if it's not too late, is it okay for me to ask for all 15 of those oc questions for jasper/friday? if that's too much, feel free to pick and choose, buT ALL ARE GREAT QUESTIONS??

THEY ARE ALL GREAT QUESTIONS AND MY MOMMA DIDN’T RAISE A QUITTER I’VE GOT YOU

Jasper:

1. Have they ever pranked someone? If so, who was it, what did they do and did the prank work?

He LOVES to pull pranks!! Just harmless, fun ones, and he feels like they have to be on “equal footing,” so to speak, so no pranking teachers/bosses/older adults or little kids in general (with the exception of his dads), but it’s definitely there. Shawn and Emily are two favorites

2. What makes them smile the brightest?

The BRIGHTEST? oof, that’d probably be pleasant surprises.

3. If they made a five song playlist, what songs would they want on it and why?

Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra – honestly? because this is the most Jasper song I know

Devil in Disguise – Elvis Presley – his favorite Elvis song

Somebody to Love – Queen – Because I said so and this boy is a sap who loves being in love

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart – Elton John – his dads would sing it a lot and it’s just attached to good memories

Overtime – Cash Cash – Bouncy

4. It is 3am, your OC is in the loopy giggling stages of being sleepy, what are they laughing about and who are they with?

This happens a LOT with Shawn, because 1) Shawn’s naturally a night owl and WILL keep Jasper up late, and 2) he’s usually been roped into helping him with his homemade monster movie projects, which all HAVE to have that “it happened in the dead of night” vibe because that’s just how Shawn is (and shot in the dead of night for authenticity). And they’re usually laughing about something cheesy and ridiculous

5. Your OC befriends a little bird who, every morning sits on their window sill, what name do they give the bird? What type of bird is it?

He’s probably call it something like Bird, and it’d probably be something mundane, like a pigeon

6. Your OC is at a karaoke bar and they see a cute person across the bar who they want to impress, what song do they sing?

Here’s the thing: my brain tells me that this would not at all happen because Jasper can’t sing without sounding like a wounded moose. My heart tells me he’s going to go completely ham on the first Elvis song he finds and humiliates himself and everyone he’s with

7. Out of an impulsive decision your OC dyes their hair and gets a whole new outfit, what do they now look like?

I can see him going with a dark maroon for the hair. It’d be fun/not a natural hair color that he might justify dying his hair, while still being understated enough to not be competing with his casino-sign-reincarnated-as fashion outfits (he actually does put effort into things like that, which is why he’s never gone through dying his hair even though he likes the idea. Who wants to match their clothes with their hair all the time? Too restricting). As for a whole new outfit? Anything is possible.

8. What is your OC’s favourite joke?

*insert bad pun here*

9. Your OC makes a poster and ships it to their best friend, what does the poster have on it and how does their best friend respond?

A badly-drawn picture of mothman. Shawn doodles little hearts and raunchy phrases all over it and sends it back

10. Your OC just got up, they are groggy and in a dark room, all of a sudden they are attacked by lots of kisses from a dog they do not own, what is their next decision?

Next (unconscious) decision: scream like a little girl

Next conscious decision: turn on lights and locate nearest father to see if they can keep it

11. Your OC is at a party and decides to start some chaotic fun, what do they do?

Unleash a jar of charmed anarchist origami frogs

12. If your OC has to describe their best friend, how would they describe them?

“Pretty chill, for a kinky weirdo.” 

13. Your OC is taking care of a child that is not theirs, what happens next?

Depends on the kid, really, but if they’re even remotely high-energy he’s probably going to have as much fun as they do running around playing games until the kid’s tired out. But Jasper’s good with kids, and has been the favorite babysitter of multiple childhoods

14. Your OC decides to live life on the edge for a day, what do they do?

Jasper: I’m gonna try deep dish pizza

Shawn: Dude sweet!! Is it a recipe or did you find a place that sells it?

Jasper, holding a box of very not gluten free deep dish pizza: uhhhh yeah… that’s totally what I mean… of course I’m not going to potentially hospitalize myself just because I want to try the mysterious mushy crusted pizza

15. The moonlight is shines upon your OC as the stars dance upon them, there is a near by river filled with gentle waters as fireflies hover above the tall grass. What does your OC do next?

Stares at the fireflies. Maybe tries to get close to one after a while, but I don’t actually know if Jasper’s seen fireflies before and they’d completely mesmerize him

Friday:

1. Have they ever pranked someone? If so, who was it, what did they do and did the prank work?

She has, actually! She would attempt to prank her parents when she was little. They didn’t really work, because she wasn’t good at it, but her dad would have the decency to pretend they did

2. What makes them smile the brightest?

Any sort of recognition/positive feedback from her mom

3. If they made a five song playlist, what songs would they want on it and why?

Istanbul (not Constantinople) – Milan & Phoenix (electroswing remix) – This has always been a Friday song. No idea why. She’s an electroswing girl

Big Bad Handsome Man – Imelda May – she just likes it

Jasper and Winter are the two characters I have with much of a playlist so I’m going to cheat out of this one I guess Mom did raise a quitter. Sorry, Mom.

4. It is 3am, your OC is in the loopy giggling stages of being sleepy, what are they laughing about and who are they with?

Her Dad’s bad radio karaoke on the drive home from a convention

5. Your OC befriends a little bird who, every morning sits on their window sill, what name do they give the bird? What type of bird is it?

What name: Ferdinand

What type of bird: some kind of chubby-looking finch thing

6. Your OC is at a karaoke bar and they see a cute person across the bar who they want to impress, what song do they sing?

I’m too busy trying to imagine Friday trying to impress a cute person instead of just trying to exist in their presence, awkwardly give them gifts, and hope that they notice to even think of anything

7. Out of an impulsive decision your OC dyes their hair and gets a whole new outfit, what do they now look like?

Friday’s always wanted to try the biker look, but doesn’t think she can pull it off, so we’ll go with that. And red hair, because she’d look pretty with red hair and that’s a great hair color anyways (so sayeth the ginger)

8. What is your OC’s favourite joke?

Sarcastically saying “no” when someone asks you to do something, while doing the thing

9. Your OC makes a poster and ships it to their best friend, what does the poster have on it and how does their best friend respond?

A collage of some sort, probably based off of something she found on Pinterest. It’s hanging on the wall next time she comes to visit

10. Your OC just got up, they are groggy and in a dark room, all of a sudden they are attacked by lots of kisses from a dog they do not own, what is their next decision?

“Get off me, get off, yeah, you’re a nice dog, but you need to get off-”

11. Your OC is at a party and decides to start some chaotic fun, what do they do?

Friday doesn’t really start chaotic fun. Well, there was one snowball fight she started with Jasper, but that doesn’t count it totally does she just doesn’t want to admit to it because she lost

12. If your OC has to describe their best friend, how would they describe them?

Lovable idiot that must be protected at all costs

13. Your OC is taking care of a child that is not theirs, what happens next?

Nothing bad while the kid’s there, but she’ll be so done if they stay for too long. She loves kids, but they drain her energy like tiny gasoline thieves if she has to interact with them for too long

14. Your OC decides to live life on the edge for a day, what do they do?

Throws a party. Does a sexy cosplay. Talks about her feelings instead of living in a state of constant emotional constipation. Any of those would work, really.

15. The moonlight is shines upon your OC as the stars dance upon them, there is a near by river filled with gentle waters as fireflies hover above the tall grass. What does your OC do next?

Stargaze

[confessionsofaheaux]

Chapter 1. Barely Legal Stripper

When i was 17, i started taking aerial silks classes at a circus gym. I was doing a work trade with them because their classes were so expensive. An hour of cleaning, and I’d get an hour of class. Then, the gym began offering a pole dancing class. I was intrigued, so i decided to switch to that. After a few weeks, i bought the stripper heels, and i LOVED to dance on the pole while wearing them. It was a huge confidence booster. I was awkward, only had 1 friend, a nerdy boyfriend, and I was kind of chubby. This made me feel sexy. It wasn’t long until i began to think “I could totally do this for money”. So i started researching how to become a stripper, and devoured every bit of information i could find on it. The day after I turned 18, I quit my job at the health foods store and auditioned at a sleazy strip club. I was so nervous before getting on the stage. My heart was pounding out of my chest. But once i walked through that tinsel curtain, all my anxiety just melted away. I was a natural. I loved it! I stripped down to nothing, effortlessly. The song i had chosen was “Shes only 18” by Red Hot Chili Peppers, very appropriate lol.

I tired a few different clubs near where i lived, they all hired me but they were all so sleazy. I only did a shift or two at each of them. I ended up working at a nicer club in a wealthy city, that was almost an hour away from me. I made pretty good money some nights. I had also had a few weird experiences with guys i met on craigslist. They paid me for foot jobs, naked massages, and naked cuddling. It was weird and i was really uncomfortable but i guess by this point I had already lost all of my inhibitions.I had been stripping for about 4 months, and i had a regular client that was a “white whale”. In stripper language, that means an extremely rich guy who will drop obscene amounts of cash on you, and also fund your life to your heart’s content, if you play your cards right. He paid for me to get a boob job. I got a full C cup. They look and feel absolutely real. It was winter break when i got them done. My parents never found out. I told them I was going skiing with my friend for a week. I took a month off stripping to let myself heal. Once i got back, it was over for those other hoes. I started making $400+ per night.

Mind you, I was a senior in highschool during all of this. My school schedule was really easy because i had taken year round, advanced classes for the prior 3 years. This year i was only taking 3 classes, and the first one started at 12pm. I would do my homework in between stage and lap dances, and school started late enough for me that getting home at 2 or 3am didnt make leave me tired in class. This whole time my parents thought that I was working at a hookah lounge. I stayed at my boyfriends house on the weekends, so they really had no idea what i was actually doing. I went to the bank to deposit my cash often, so that they wouldn’t find out how much money i had. I didn’t often buy flashy things, if i did, i’d make sure they never saw it. I became a master at the art of lying. Every other weekend, I’d go to Los Angeles (5hrs away) and stay with my older cousin. I’d work day and night shift on saturday/sunday, doing blow with the other strippers, and twerking on a handstand. I fucking LOVED it. It made me dance better and i always made more money. Plus, the LA strip clubs are LIT!! I’d have these crazy, wild weekends, and still be back in time for school on monday. With $2000+ cash in hand, every time.

I skipped my prom because I wanted to be at the strip club making money. I skipped my own graduation too, but thats just because i find graduation ceremonies to be incredibly boring. Just mail me my diploma, i don’t want to sit for 3 hours just so i can walk across a stupid stage. I was working that night anyway. And up to that point, no one at my school besides my one friend and my boyfriend knew i was a stripper. I was invisible at that school. It was the 6th school i had been to in the last 4 years. They could have told people, but it wouldn't have mattered because no one knew me. Until graduation night. A group of boys from my school had decided to come to the strip club where I worked. I knew they would recognize me. And i didnt give a shit. School was over. I had made it the whole school year and no one had found out. The boys were in shock, i just laughed and started to strip once they put money down on the stage.

[beihonglin]

binbin & bangbang’s 18/4 livestream: a summary 3/3

second segment: quickfire questions!!

first impressions of each other 

the first people they met was each other!!! they sat with huang shuhao :’)

they got shookt when they got their room assignments after 

who likes to eat snacks the most?

pointing at each other 

stupid boy dropping his mic pt. 034 BIN STOP DROPPING IT

what do you buy to eat from the convenience store? 

LEMON TEA!! bangbang was the one who got bin addicted to lemon tea

recently they found another lemon tea that’s better than vita

rip bin’s fansite miss vitalemontea

bangbang: HE EATS SO MUCH 

bin: I DO I EAT SO MUCH 

apparently binnie gets ramen, rice balls, more ramen, fries, more ramen and pudding then finishes them all in one night

bangbang: but he doESNT GET FAT (angry!!)

bin: yeah after i realised that i wouldn’t get fat no matter what i ate i started just eating everything 

bangbang: I HOPE YOU GET FAT WHEN YOU’RE 40

bin: pls calm down asjhlkdj

bangbang: wait omg what if there’s a pill that lets you eat without getting fat,,,,

interviewer: uh moving on

who sleeps later? who takes care of their body better?

bangbang: we sleep at the same time but jeffrey sleeps the earliest and he takes care of his body the best

bin: oh right bb has ur body clock adjusted back?

bb: what body clock lol

apparently they sleep really late and wake up really early to the point where they look at the clock and think 3am is still pretty early 

there was also once when they slept at 630 and had to get up at 7 :(

whose rooms did you visit the most?

bin: we didn’t really go to other people’s rooms, they came to ours,,, yeah, our room was the most popular - there were times when there were 10+ people hanging out in our room

interviewer: why?

bin: because we have a lot of food lol

bangbang: also because we’re very,,,,,, kind :)

bin: :)))

bb: :))))))

interviewer: can you expose something about each other?

bin: bursts out laughing 

bin: BANGBANG SHOWERS FOR A REALLY LONG TIME 

bb: YOU TOO 

interviewer: okay but were there any awkward incidents?

bin: bangbang dances really funnily and cutely and he always comes back to dance for us

bangbang: nO I DON’T

bin: he doES do it, do the cute version of ei ei that you did

bangbang: what cuTE VERSION NO :(

interviewer: okay so do you guys compete at games?

bin: snorts

literally the cutest snort i’ve ever heard in my life bye

bin: coME ON TELL THEM 

bb (mumbling): okay i thought i was really good at this game and ruibin didn’t believe me so i challenged him but somehow every time i challenged him he won :(

binnie: i’d be sitting there after practice when i’d get a text from him saying, “hey trash, come challenge me-”

bb: i didnt say trash- 

binnie: - and i said, i really don’t want to make you lose, but then he said it was because i didn’t want to lose to him that i didn’t want to play,,, so i played with him

bin: and every time i was close to winning he’d scream at his phone, “NO!!” so i’d let him win for a bit before i killed him in three seconds 

bb: NO i thought i was better so i kept challenging him and i got angry when i lost but in the end i realised he was right,,,, 

bin: he got angry at me too!! he refused to speak to me after he lost, he said he’d never play with me again

bb: wait ur making me sound like a kid

bin: ye u r lol 

what’s your most used meme?

bin: uncle li junyi’s crossed arms pose!!

bb: bu fan’s half beast!!

bin: dong yanlei’s “your lei-zi has appeared!”!

bb: deng langyi’s sad face!

what are your future plans?

bangbang: we’re gonna go to shanghai tgt! we’re gonna stay tgt to carry out some activities

binnie: i’m also acting in an upcoming show! i want to become a well-rounded artist

bin: also lol in the dorm bangbang made me act with him

#ExposeBangBangPart????

if you guys act tgt in a show, what kind of show would u want?

bangbang: us as villians!!!! 

bin: (sighs)

bangbang: who go around stealing monuments!!

bin: wait but what about spies!!! and there’d be a hacker and we’d have a swimming scene

bangbang: i’d want to have a hacker -

bin: and i’d be the one who gets to save the female lead, really handsome -

bangbang: i’d be the one who climbs the wall -

bin: - and i’d go down a zip line - 

i swear they’re 8???

interviewer: uh yall have great imagination 

final words??

bangbang: thank u 2 those who have liked me, thank u for ur support and love

binnie spinning his fingers in a circle asmdhdlaksj let bangbang live pls

bb: NO it’s bc i have a lot of things to say 

bin: no he’s like a pinball his mind is just running everywhere

but also binnie: thank u bangbang for being by my side and for making this interview so fun, it still feels like we’re on the show and bangbang and i were just conversing! i don’t feel like a celeb; i feel like i’m still a normal person, but i have a lot of people supporting my dream. thank you to all those who voted for me so that i had more chances to stand on stage. the only reason why i’m here now is bc of u and ur votes and support; it was only through ur support that we could stay in idol producer for so long. i hope that everyone can still trust in us and believe in us - we’re still growing and we hope that everyone can grow with us and accompany us to walk even further on this road. 

i love the most rambly and sincere boy in the universe bye :--(

interviewer: can you sing in cantonese?

both: yah but i need lyrics 

DUET !!!

i love binbin singing so much i love himi lvoe him i love him ilvoe him

bin tried stuffing his phone in his pocket but he deadass didnt have a pocket why is he like this 

im literally so sorry i know i said summary but this basically became a transcription of whatever they said wheezes 

UPDATE RUIBIN’S TRENDING AGAIN :’)

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

3AM Drive - Thru (JJK x You x The8/Minghao) // Chapter 12

MASTERLIST

“Hey Y/N, want to go grab a bite? I'll buy you your chicken nuggets and fries," he smiles. "Just like the old times..."

She's sad, angry, tired, betrayed, hungry, cold, heart broken... and standing right in front of her is the man who's giving her the oh so familiar bunny smile that sends her a warm feeling.

"Why not Jungkook. Just like the old times,"

Things went smoothly ever since Jungkook and Y/N had mended their friendship. Their relationship almost feels like it was years ago when they were just friends. Jungkook tries hard to control his behavior so that Y/N will feel comfortable with him again. It was the hardest thing for him as all he wants to do is to just grab her and kiss her senseless everytime he sees her smile, her laughing, her breathing. Y/N still refuses to be a part of the production team since Minji is still a part of it. Y/N thinks its best that they dont stir things up as Jungkook had asked Minji for a breakup a few days prior to the dressing room incident.

Despite not being a part of the team, Jungkook makes sure to eat lunch or even breakfast with her whenever he's at the company. Sometimes even Jin, Jimin or Teahyung will join them. He likes how Y/N is able to get his hyung so comfortable with her until to the point where he himself sometimes gets jealous of them.

Jungkook's relationship with Minghao are still fine, eventhough there's still s trace of akwardness left. They still hang out together with the rest of their squad. They never talk about what they discussed to each other again, both understanding each other feelings. Minghao kept true to his word and never commented or do anything whenever Jungkook mentioned Y/N's name.

Until Y/N is sure of her feelings, Minghao won't ever act on it.

"Hey, I got great news!" Minghao turns to Y/N while flipping through the rack of clothes in the shop. Its one of the rare days when he gets a day off and he immediately decide to spend it with Y/N. Minghao receives major backlash from his members who wanted to have a chill member day together, but he just disregard them and skips happily to see Y/N.

He do love spending time with his members. They are, afterall, his brothers. But he feels like he needs a break as they had enough time together due to their tight schedule of non stop practices, recording, making choreograophies and creating music for the comeback and he really misses Y/N.

"Really? What is it? Do you really need me to ask before you will actually tell me? Can't you just straight away tell me after you said 'I have great news'?"

"God, I knew you are savage, but I didnt think you are this savage," Y/N chuckle. "Fine, I will tell you King Hao," still mocking him. "The company is one of the major sponsor for MAMA Awards this year! So I will have to attend the show,"

"That's great! You can finally watch how incredible I am in dancing live," Minghao smirked. Truth is, he's a little excited. The awards is a big deal for most idols and to have someone he loves there at the venue itself cheering him on, its something he used to only wish for.

"Hey, we can go together! Wearing matching stuff and all!" Y/N is all excited. Minghao cleared his throat.

"I would love to... I really do, but I cant do that," Y/N gave him a confuse look. "I'll be going together with the members," Y/N nod in understanding. That's true. Of course he has to attend as Seventeen, how can she forget? "Also, I cant be seen with a girl at the awards,"

"Oh..."

"Hey, you understand right Y/N? I mean, if we are officially together I wouldn't mind telling the world about us. Hell, I want to tell everyone about us. But since we are still figuring things out, its better if we dont show it in public," he peeks at Y/N, trying to gauge her reaction.

If it's up to him, he would proudly go to the awards with Y/N on his arms. He would go anywhere with Y/N on his arms. But they are not official yet and the awards is one of the biggest event in K Music industry. If they came together, fans, media and even his company will start asking questions and he doesnt want to answer to things that he himself is not sure about. As long as Y/N is still figuring things out, its better to keep things under wraps. But Y/N's sad face is breaking his heart.

"Hey, dont be sad," he lifted up her chin to make her look at him. "Tell you what, I'll skip the after party and we can go for ice cream and fries instead? How about that? I dont usually like going to the after party anyway," he suggested and Y/N seems to smile again.

"Okay. You promise?" she held out her pinky. He linked his pinky with hers.

"Promise,"

---------------------

The ceremony is beautiful. Everyone who is everyone is there and everyone looks beautiful. But the most beautiful thing that Jungkook and Minghao sees that night is when Y/N glide onto the red carpet.

Everything about her is perfect. Her makeup, her hair, her dress, her smile. They cant take their eyes off her, and it seems so does a few other idols. Both Minghao and Jungkook feels like poking their eyes for looking at what is theirs with such longing and lusts.

Minghao had never been more energetic and giddy on an award night. Y/N was seated right near the stage, with the best view in the venue. He sees her stands up for a standing ovation when BTS finish their performance and how Jungkook keeps making eye contact with her. And is that Taehyung winking at her? She congratulate them when they walked off the stage after their win and he can see Jungkook gave her a hug a little too long than he's liking.

When its time for his group's performance, the only thing he can see is Y/N. She stood up through out the whole performance and sings along which only fired him up even more. She congratulate them and she had never looked more proud when they had won in their category. The whole night pass by in a blur, all he can think about is how the most beautiful girl in the event is waiting and thinking of him. She's mine she's mine she's mine. He just cant wait for the night to end so he can claim what's his, to share his happiness and excitement for the night.

Once the night ended, they were ushered off into the dressing room for for a final touch up and wardrobe change for the after party. Minghao drop a quick text to Y/N before he grab his new outfit and change.

Hey, I just need to give my greetings to some new girl group that manager-nim wants us to meet. Then we can go. Wait for me okay.

                                                      -------------

Y/N received the text and figured she has time to freshen up. She told her assistants that she's skipping the after party. It's not a good idea to walk up to a McDonalds in an expensive car and a driver, even more with an uprising idol in tow, so she asks her team and driver to go off first.

She waited in the cold night air while cursing herself for forgotting her jacket in the limo. Seconds turns to minutes and turns to hours but Minghao is a no show. Multiple texts and calls has been sent but no reply was received. Did something happen to him? The after party venue is just a couple of block away and the main venue is already empty except for a few staff members.

After contemplating for a while, Y/N decides to walk the few blocks to the after party and checks on Minghao. Its weird that he didnt even text her to say he's running late.

"Hey, is that you Y/N? God, you are shivering!" Y/N turn to the source of the voice and see Jungkook is already taking off his suit jacket and place it on her shoulders.

"Jungkook!" Y/N exclaimed. "What are you doing outside? Are you taking a break from the after party?"

"Oh ya. I'm just here for the group shots and publicity mingling. I'm about to go for a walk and then find manager-nim so I can go home. Did you just arrived here? Why are you walking?" Jungkook just notice the direction Y/N came from.

"Yeah, I just did. I dont plan on going to the party actually. I'm supposed to meet Minghao back at the main venue, but he needs to drop by at the party for a bit but it has been hours since he left. I was worried something happened to him. Did you see him in there?"

"Minghao?" Jungkook looks nervous, biting his lips and avoiding eye contact. "Minghao says he will meet you back at the venue?" Y/N nodded. Jungkook didnt know how to tell Y/N. Yes, he has seen Minghao at the party alright. And he's definitely didnt seem like he's about to leave the party anytime soon.

"Yes," Y/N raised an eyebrow. Weirded out by Jungkook's nervous reaction. "Is he in there Jungkook?" Y/N is still oblivious to what's really going on. Jungkook can only nod before Y/N makes her way into the party. What she sees in there is definitely isnt what she's expecting.

Minghao is full on drunk, dancing with a girl group member, exchanging shots and kisses, his friends all around him , just as drunk, cheering and laughing. She's guessing that's the girl group that he needs to introduce himself to and it seems they were very well introduced indeed.

Y/N was stunned and she really dont know how to react to this. Should she cry? Be angry? Scream? But most importantly, she forced herself not to cry. After all they are not together, there's no reason for her to feel anything after seeing him in that situation.

"Hey, wait up!" Jungkook chase after her when she quickly spun around and race towards the door.

"Is this what you guys usually do at after parties?"

"Urm pretty much yes. That's why i always leave early after the obligatory greetings and photo session. Not really much into parties," Jungkook jogged a little to catched up with Y/N. "Hey Y/N, are you okay?" Jungkook snatched her wrist and turn her to look at him when she didnt answer. "I might not know what's going on but I know you. You dont look okay,"

Y/N angrily swipe her tears away before they could fall. I would not let another boy, especially another idol make me cry. I wont!  "I'm okay,"

"Its because of Minghao isnt it? What happened back there? Every couple has its problems. You guys can wo-"

"We are not together!" Y/N harshly cut him off. "I'm just upset that he made me wait for so long. He could have just told me that he wants to party. I could have gone and get food on my own. I have an early flight tomorrow, I could have just gone home earlier and sleep," she lied. There's no way in hell she's letting Jungkook see her heart break for the second time. Jungkook can obviously tell that there is so much more than Y/N just being stood up and hungry.  But he can also tell that Y/N doesn't want to talk about it. At least not right now. So he did the only thing he knows that can help her calm down.

"Hey Y/N, want to go grab a bite? I'll buy you your chicken nuggets and fries," he smiles. "Just like the old times..."

Y/N ponders for a moment. She's sad, angry, tired, betrayed, hungry, cold, heart broken... and standing right in front of her is the man who's giving her the oh so familiar bunny smile that gives her a warm feeling. She nodded with a tired smile,

"Why not Jungkook. Just like the old times,"

                                                      -----------------

Minghao woke up in his dorms in last night's suit and a major hangover. What the hell happenned?

"Woohooo, there's the life of the party!" some of his members whistle at him.

"What?"

"You dont remember? Wow, you must be super drunk then,"

"You partied like crazy last night man! We were being introduced to the new girl group for our collab. The next thing we know, you are drunk as hell and dancing like crazy!" Mingyu explains, trying to help his friend remember.

"You dance skills are amazing! Even though you are shit drunk! I'm proud you are on my team," Hoshi chimed in. DK took out his phone and showed him a video of him dancing in a drunk state and to his horror, he starts making out with one of the girls.

"Ohhhh yaaa, the girls are cray cray over you!" DK laughs. "You even went back with one of them!" He went home with one of them? Shit, shit, shit. Did Y/N see this? Where is she when all of this happening?

His memories starts crumbling back to him. He remembered the look on Y/N's face when they won, when they performed, how he cant wait for the night to end so he can spend time with her, how the manager asks them to meet some girl group, and he send a text-  His phone!

"Where's my phone?" Minghao search everywhere in his room.

"Here it is. You left it in the suit jacket of our first outfit. The stylist noona returned it this morning," S.Coups threw the phone to him. He catch it and immediately plug in the charger. He impatiently shakes his legs, waiting for his phone to come alive. Once it did, he grabbed it and see the flood of messages and missed calls, all from Y/N.

[Y/N ♡] : 12.09am Hey I'm ready. I will wait by the back exit okay.

[Y/N ♡] : 12.13am I already asks my driver and team to go back first

[Y/N ♡] : 12.50am I'm hungry. And cold. I left my jacket in the limo :( when are you coming?

[Y/N ♡] : 12.53am Hey, I saw a bunch of Carats coming out. How jealous would they be if they know I'm waiting for The8 right now? :D

[Y/N ♡] : 01.15am Hey Minghao, its been an hour. Where are you? Are you okay?

[Y/N ♡] : 01.40am I'm getting worried now. I really hope you are okay.

[Y/N ♡] : 02.30am Nevermind. I already know why you are not coming.

What does she means by that?

[Y/N ♡] : 02.40am Did you really let me wait in the cold for you because of this? I didnt want to believe it when I saw you at the party...

She saw at the party! Minghao starts to sweat. The next message she sent was early this morning. Minghao imagine her crying herself to sleep after seeing him doing God knows what at the party.

[Y/N ♡] : 07.30am I thought you said you cant be seen with a girl... You could have just told me you know, I would have understand.  Click image.

Minghao clicked the image and saw that's its a recent news article. How did they publish this so fast? It shows a picture of him and one of the girl group member in front of an apartment entrance, tightly clutching each other and looking trashy as hell with sunglasses covering their faces at 4am in the morning . The headlines reads;

SEVENTEEN'S THE8  SPOTTED WITH A MEMBER OF SOON TO BE DEBUTED GIRL GROUP. A NEW IDOL POWER COUPLE IN THE MAKING?

He quickly closes the article, his praying the Y/N wont believe all these rumors although the photos makes it looks pretty convincing. He click the next, and last message.

[Y/N ♡] : 07.45am And I guess you wont be coming to the airport to send me off then.

Airport?

Now he remembers. Y/N was scheduled to go to an abroad business meeting for a few weeks. She had the morning 9 am flight and he had promised to send her to the airport since they wont be seeing each other for a while. He quickly looks at clock,

1.35pm.

He's too late.

Chapter 13 Preview

"Jeon Jungkook?" Y/N exclaimed, she cant help but smile so widely. Jungkook chuckled.

"We are halfway around the world away from home, and of all the faces and all the places, we had to meet each other. If this is not fate, then I dont know what this is," Jungkook walked over to Y/N, grinning with his bunny teeth showing.

[101scenes]

Wanna One Lai Guan Lin - The 24 Hour Challenge

 featuring: lai guan lin

genre: fluff

word count: 1,964 words

summary: a 24-hour experience with a newly assigned class, and a so-called crush

suggested: nah lmao

you were a junior in your high school

so as an annual tradition, each junior class has to conduct something special for their class to bond before the start of the school year

because in sophomore year you all were in different classes

so you kind off had to get to know each other

your newly elected class representative, lee daehwi, suggested a 24 hour challenge at a chalet

and it was somehow approved by the school

it was supposedly “innovative” and a “fresh idea”

anyways

everyone in your class managed to chip in a little fee to book the chalet for a full day

luckily in your new class you knew a few people from your sophomore class

you thought about skipping cause you thought it would be weird lmao

but your friend dragged you along because she loves exploring new things

so ofc you went

class spirit!

time skip

on the day of the 24 hour challenge

everyone gathered at the booked chalet at about 3pm

& our amazing class rep split the class up into small groups of 4 to their rooms to unpack

boys & girls rooms duh

at about 4pm everyone was gathered back at the common room

and he began explaining the ground rules

like no alcohol, no illegal substances etc

and no electronics

so he had to confiscate everyone’s phone lmao

he also explained the itinerary of the full 24 hours

and he said everyone could hang around until 6pm, where people had to gather at the bbq pit for dinner

after dispersing, you were left defenseless without your precious phone

so you went to the kitchen

isnt the kitchen everyone’s safe haven lmao

and started socializing with your new classmates

you made a few friends surprisingly 

and it was fun overall

stirring your cup of coffee, you looked over at the common room decked with kinect & wii games

you spot this really enthusiastic kid that dragged his friend to switch on just dance to play

seeing the slightly taller guy dance made you smile a little

he seemed like a really reserved guy, but he looked like he was having lots of fun with his friend

it was really cute

so you never thought you would do this

but you joined them

since just dance could play up to 4 people

you decided why not

you never tried just dance

and you played a game with them

yes, without asking their names

after this extremely long and strenuous song

you got second place

with the taller guy in last

you look over to expect a defeated look

but he was still smiling like how he did 10 minutes ago

he was panting yeah

trying to regain his breath on the couch

he still looked really smol

even tho he was tall

while you let your other classmates play

you learnt the guy who got 1st place was seonho

he was generally just a really happy guy

you kindoff guessed it when he entered the class on the first day and gave everyone a sweet and a card with a happy face sticker on it

& the other guy

who was still dancing away

was named guanlin

after chatting a bit with seonho you decided to help out at the bbq pit

and you saw daehwi & your friend chatting away

they were exchanging jokes and giggles

and you just pressed your hand against the glass pane and smiled

you sHIPPED THEM sO hard

bc class rep & vice class reps are shippable

then you heard someone next to you say,

“i ship them too, they’re cute,”

you faced him, to see guanlin pressing his arm against the glass pane as well

“oh, hello, i’m y/n,” you turned to him and greeted

and he did the same

as you threw him a towel from the drawer to wipe his sweat, you asked,

“should we disrupt their moment?”

guanlin shook his head

“nah, it’s their moment,” he said, smiling as he walked away

you watched him as he walked away

and that kindoff concluded your first interaction with him

the guy with the smile that needed to be protected

time sKIP

after some good dinner

(daehwi made sure eVEryone was full)

(class rep more like mother)

he said it was time for gamES!!

you could hear seonho frm the other side of the room squeal

& it was hide and seek

you swore you haven’t played hide and seek ever since you were 8

but you were convinced that you could find a great hiding spot

you kindoff saw a spot earlier that no one wld ever suspect (!!)

so once the seeker began counting down, you loitered a bit first

cause you wanted to see everyone scatter

maybe you could find a better spot

but you ultimately went to your spot

which was this camouflaged door under the stairs that led to a small storage area

you weren’t afraid of small spaces

so why not

you opened the door to see 

well

a tall fella

sat in the corner

before you could apologize and leave, the seeker had already announced he would begin

and guanlin grabbed your wrist, pulled you in and shut the door

uhh it was kindoff a small space

so it was just you and guanlin

in the dark

uncomfortably close

you were both sitting in silence

you wanted to say something

but the seeker could hear you guys talking if you did

so you kept quiet

you could still see some of guanlin’s face due to the fading light falling into through the thin walls

he had literally no flaws

how can a guy have flawless skin?!?

without thinking you blurted out,

“sO-”

before you could even continue tho

he grabbed your wrist again

his hand shocked you lmao

so you fell forward a bit & he caught you

& you could smell his scent

like

NO

you felt like you did injustice

and you backed up a bit and whispered sorry

thanks to the light

you couldnt see the red fading on guanlin’s cheeks

oh & god damn your ears were all red too

ugh just kiss already

anyways

the seeker was left with you two

and could not find you two

so you two crawled out of the little storage room 

everyone didn’t expect the two of you to be together

in an enclosed space

so there were a bit of murmurs

daehwi exCLAIMED,

“yOU hAVe vIOLATED THe RUleS of INdeCen-”

“NO” you blurted

daehwi started laughing

and everyone did too

except you and guanlin

you literally thought they were interrogating you

but it was a joke

haha joking

you fake-laughed

you turned around to see him

just looking away

occasionally rubbing his cheeks

after the game, it was curfew, & you managed to escape to your room as quickly as possible

and dug your face into your pillow

and you just lied there for 10mins

and did not notice your friend enter

“what was the deal with guanlin? are you all a thing?” your friend asked as she sat on your bed

“uughhhhhhh”

“so i take that as a no?”

you sit up and faced her

“it was embarrassing,” you said & covered your face

“pff, it’s okay, have a good nights rest okay?” she said, patting your back

after sulking a bit more, you decided to change into your pjs

as you walked out of the room door, you noticed guanlin walking to his room wearing his freshly changed pjs

it was a matching set of fluffy pjs

it was so adorable wtf

wait

wHy were you feeling these?!?

you shook your head vigorously

like girl

you cant fall for some guy you just met

you did a quick change and went to sleep

but through hours of tossing and turning

you couldnt sleep

you just couldnt sleep in a new environment

partially another reason you didnt want to come

you would naturally grab your phone and scroll around on instagram or something

but since you didnt have it

you just laid on your bed

looking at the clock

it was almost 3am

you sighed

you had nothing to do

so you decided to go down to kitchen and make yourself some hot tea

it was really soothing to you

as you floated down the stairs craving for your tea

you noticed the kitchen light on

you peeked in

and saw guanlin standing there with his own cup of drink

before you could run away from the embarrassment previously

he called out your name

“yo y/n! you up too?”

you found his raspy voice so bEauTifuL

you slowly spun around

and reminded yourself to not remember the incident previously

and you did

“uhh, y-yeah,” you stammered, and walked past him to make a drink

he saw you, it was impossible to just walk away again

“ahaha yeah, me too, i can’t sleep in new places,”

while the hot water was pouring into your cup, you turned around

“rEally?” you said too enthusiastically

you eyes literally shone 

and he was shocked

“o-oh sorry hah, i have the same problem,” you said, collecting your drink

looking out of the window, you said

“i just never knew someone with the a similar, yknow,”

guanlin hummed in agreement

the next hour was just spent talking

about anything tbh

about how you never really saw him in freshman and sophomore year because he was that timid

about grades

until you two finished your midnight drinks

you two walked up the stairs back to your rooms together

as you turned the doorknob to your room, he ruffled your hair and passed by behind you

“goodnight, y/n”

you could hear a smile from his voice

which made your heart melt ok

you returned to your bed and kindoff reflected

you would be spending two more of your years in school with your cRush

oh god u admitted your crush

aaaaaaaaaaaa

and you fell asleep to the thought that you would be able to see that smile everyday

fEw hOURs pass

9am!! sun rise!!!

breakfast!!

ofc u weren’t up because you slept at like 4am last night lmao

so you waddled out of bed at 11am

everyone already had their breakfast and are literally out of the door heading for the beach 

you were so behind time lmao

once you saw no one around, you realized you were late

as you opened the front door, you heard stomping behind you

it was guanlin

because he slept at 4am too

“lets goooo!!” you shouted, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the door

jeez he didnt even put on slippers yet

once you reached the beach, you just ate the sandwich you packed for lunch and thats about it

while everyone else played

you werent much of a fan of the sun and outdoors bahah

but you saw guanlin playing in the water with the other guys

he had the smile again

the captivating one

you sigh and just look his way

for some reason

you had the urge to make him smile like that

and you really wanted to see him smile because of you

and you only

uhgh what were u thinking

time sKip

it was time to leave :(

everyone was one by one leaving the compound with their belongings

and you were one of the last ones

when you left, you saw guanlin waiting for you near the door

guanlin grinned, put down his duffel bag and opened his arms

you walked right into them, hugging him back

“see you soon, guanlin,” you said

“wait-”

you turn around

“uhm, i would love to talk with you again,” he said, handing you his phone with a new contact application

you smiled

“of course,”

[catmast3r-blog1]

1. What have you eaten today?  soup, mashed potatoes, ice cream 

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? pass 

3. What colour shoes did you last wear?  beige

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?  Gardi

5. What is your favourite scent?  Jasmine flowers 

6. What is your favourite season? Why? Fall

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? No

8. What colour are your nails? Red

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? Bella

10. What is something you find romantic? Personal gifts  11. Are you happy? Ecstatic 

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? Nah 

13. Dogs or Cats? Both

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?  Forest 

15. What is your style? Variable 

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?  Swimming

17. Are you in a relationship or single? Independent woman who dont need no man 

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? she’s furry, and cuddly and shes a cat

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? Easily, justin timberlake, come to mama  20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what? yes 21. How did you celebrate last Halloween? went to my class party  22. Have you recently made any big decisions? nah 23. Were you ever in a school play? no 24. What movie would you use to describe your life? Pokemon, gotta catch them all  25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? no, i done did them 26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…” my life with  27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? sassy, mean 28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? insensitive, non-empathetic 29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? meh 30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? the past 31. How long was your longest relationship? 4 years 32. Have you ever been in love? yes 33. Are you currently in love?  no

34. Why did your last relationship end?  he didnt want to be with me anymore

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? no jewlery  36. When was the last time you cried and why? everyday, all day, yeeeeeee

37. Name someone pretty. bella 38. What did you receive last Valentines Day? tears 39. Do you get jealous easily? nah

40. Have you ever been cheated on? YEEEEEE LOVE IT, BEST FEELING 

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend? yes 42. Ever had detention? yes

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city? countryside 44. What do people call you? foufou 45. What was the last book you read? to all the boys i’ve ever loved  46. How big of a nerd/dork are you? 10/10 bbg 47. What kind of music do you listen to? any and all 48. How tall are you? 5″2 49. Do you like kids? no 50. Favourite fruits? watermelon, any berries 51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? sweats 52. What’s your earliest memory? getting kicked in daycare but this punk ass bish 53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you? no 54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind, im too beautiful ill break the lens 55. Do you have a collection of anything? yes, little statues 56. Do you save money or spend it? save 57. What would your dream house be like? country, cats, lots of cats. 58. What top 5 things make you the angriest? lies, not kind, not faithful, not loyal, ego 59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face? cats, fam, friends, memories, cats.................cats 60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog, ob 61. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a) prob, b) everything on my bucket list c) prob 62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. love 63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? bora bora  64. Do you like the beach? lave it 65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special? yes, bella 66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it! no 67. Do you talk to yourself? dont we all 68. Describe your hair. short, brown, caramel balayage 69. What is the meaning of life. a life of meaning 70. What is your ideal partner like? kind, faithful, loyal, likes cats, likes to spend time with me, has a good sense of humour, four legs, whiskers, likes to be rubbed on the belly, cuddles when sleeping 71. Do you want to get married? not right now 72. Do you want to have kids? if I find the right person 73. Like or dislike your family? love 74. Are you Chunky or Slim?  prob inbetween 

75. Would you consider yourself smart? I can say my alphabets  76. What would you change about your life?  myself 77. Religious or Not? in the middle 78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? improbable scenario 79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? yeah 80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? no 81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? playing games prob 82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? yes 83. Do you like when people play with your hair? yes

84. Do you like bubble baths? yes

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? no 86. Have you ever danced in the rain? no 87. Do you trust anyone with your life? I guess 88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? time to make some tea 89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week) Thailand, Australia, Bora Bora, Maldives, Spain, Iceland, Peru, Brazil, Mexico, Lebanon  90. How was your day today? 8/10 91. Play an instrument? yes, piano 92. Describe the what you think of the ocean. calm, peaceful  93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? not really  94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be? no 95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side? not scary, but I think I can be mean sometimes 96. When are you vulnerable? always

97. How much free time do you have? not much 98. Do you like to go hiking? yes 99. Odd or Even Numbers? even 100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities? yes, yes, yes, maybe, maybe, yes and prob others too 

[onlyjihoons]

zouk! seongwoo

a/n; honestly it was hard to decide for ong which attraction he should fit, but i figured since he likes to drink, he should prolly belong in singapore's most happening club lmao

this is part of the xmas collab wink wonk with @wannawrite and @hwinkinghwi

-this christmas, you had no other half to celebrate with, and all your friends are either out of the country or partying

-which, led you into Singapore's top club, zouk.

-your friends dragged you into this mess tbh, having had too much money to spend

-it was a free party anyway, so why not

-for once you decided to bravely wear your red and black sequined mini dress you bought last year

-but you didn't have any events important enough, or you were just feeling shy because the dress exposed more skin than you liked

-anyhow, you went to the party looking like a bombshell, even your friend was shocked

-"wow y/n! where did you get that dress??! it looks soooo good on you!!"

-you were sure she had a few to drink before you came, so you politely excused yourself to the bar which was more peaceful as compared to the other areas

-zouk was notorious for being the ideal place for horny guys to find their one night stands, so you were extra careful not to order anything alcoholic

-so you ordered a bottle of mineral water

-the bartender just shot you a quizzical look, but gave you your drink anyway

-the club had really good music though, you were very tempted to dance

-but your heels were like, 5 inches so it made movements alot more harder

-just as you were about to head to the dance floor, a group of guys stopped you, pushing you back to your seat

-"hey sweetheart," the one in blonde hair winked, his breath reeked of alcohol, "can we buy you a drink?"

-"no, i'm meeting my friends. thanks."

-"your friends can wait, " the one in lilac hair scoffed, "we're more important."

-"i, don't drink."

-"then we'll help you! we also started from square one, baby." the one with the smallest face slung his arm around your shoulder, making you uncomfortable

-"i'm cooler sober, thanks"

-credits to my bff for that quote

-"is that so? then why am i not aware of that?"

-a voice behind you spoke up, and it belonged to your high school classmate, ong seongwoo

-you weren't enemies with him, neither were you best friends. just plain, platonic, friends. period.

-however you did see him around your uni as he does attend the same uni as you, except that he took up political science while you took up business

-seongwoo looked dashing in the plain white shirt he was wearing, a dark blue stripe going down along his sleeve. evem though he didnt expose much skin as compared to the other guys in the club, he looked hot

-"i'm so sorry i'm late, baby, did you miss me?" he circled his arms around your waist, pulling you close

-at first you were startled by seongwoo's sudden affections, but you played along with the reassuring smile he sent you

-"yeah baby, i was just waiting for you." you planted a kiss on seongwoo's cheek, surpring you and seongwoo, and the three guys who tried to hit you up

-"see that? shes my girlfriend, why are you hitting on her?" seongwoo squeezed your hand, "and the three of you seem to be too young to be in a club, hmm? especially you," he pointed to the one in lilac hair, shouldnt you be studying?"

-the trio scoffed, then muttering some curse words under their breaths as they tried to find their next victim

-"hey ong, thanks for saving me back there." you smiled

-"no problem y/n, how are you? i've seen you around school but i havent got to see you like...this." his eyes scanned you up and down, making you blush

-"i--i..."

-"yah ong!" you hear someone call out to him, and as he approached, you began to recognise him.

-it was your senior, chanyeol

-"hey ong, i didnt know you had such a pretty girlfriend, and i'm surprised its y/n." he smirked

-"no, no, we're not dating, " you waved your hands nervously, "we're just..."

-"catching up yeah! we were high school classmates!" seongwoo lied through his teeth flawlessly, but chanyeol didnt seem to buy it

-"well have fun catching up," chanyeol shrugged, "i'll have to steal your boyfriend for a while, y/n, so sorry about that."

-you tilted your head in confusion, as chanyeol dragged seongwoo to the dance floor

-after a few bottles of mineral water and mindless chatter with some highschool friends you missed, you were bored and decided to hit the dance floor, finally.

-you had to admit, as much as the place was overrated and overpriced, they had pretty good music playing so you couldnt stop your moves

-until the music changed to updown funk, your eyes were pulled towards a certain human who was pulling off some sick popping moves

-you weaved through the crowd, searching for that person

-when you finally found them, you were shocked

-it was seongwoo

-all his locking and popping steps were legit, only something you would see coming out of an idol

-so you joined in, it was an unintentional collab between the both of you the crowd was cheering, even the dj was cheering

-you had a really good time dancing with seongwoo, it was as if your senior high prom was relived again

-you were dancing till 3am, which was pretty rare of your stamina to allow you to do so

-most of your friends were either wasted or already back home

-the buses already stopped their operations at this timing, leaving you no choice but to call an uber

-just as you were about to do so, a mercedes pulled up in front of you

-as the shades were drawn, you could see seongwoo's dashing face smiling at you

-"need a ride?"

-"will it be too much of a trouble for you?"

-"no its fine! i dont drink anyway"

-what a lie he didnt drink just so that he could send you home

-"..."

-"i cant leave a pretty lady out there by herself, can i?"

-seongwoo winked, and that bought you over

-you hated yourself for having been so easily succumb to seongwoo's blatant flirting, and you hated yourself even more for having fallen for an ex-classmate so quick

-so there you were, sat at the passenger's seat of seongwoo's mercedes, looking out at the window

-it was awkward, but the silence was weirdly comforting for the both of you

-"so, a mercedes, huh?" you pointed, "are you a chaebol or something?"

-"no, i'm not," seongwoo laughed, "my uncle got it for me because i won the bet of me getting into university."

-"ah i see," you nodded, "i havent got my license yet"

-"why?"

-"i just cant bring myself to drive, i dont think im ready for that too."

-"its fine, i can drive you anywhere, whenever you like."

-"so you'll be my driver for my whole life?" you giggled

-"if only you'll be my girlfriend," seongwoo blurted out

-you were stunned, and speechless because you havent seen seongwoo this straightforward before

-"if you cant return back my feelings ive had for 3 years i can forgive you--"

-"3 years?! seongwoo you couldve told me..." your voice went an octave higher, expressing your shock

-seongwoo just laughed bitterly, and he soon reached your place

-"hey y/n, i'll give you time to think--"

-you interrupted him with a kiss, and seongwoo tried to deepen the kiss but there was a knocking on the glass window, and it belonged to your older sister

-you knew you were going to be interrogated when you get back home

-seongwoo pulled away sheepishly, then placing a final peck on your cheek "see you tomorrow, princess."

-you swore if seongwoo kept up with it you would die of high blood pressure

-as soon as you closed the room door behind you when you got home, your older sister smirked, with arms folded,

-"so who was the guy you were making out with?"

[captainkaladinstormblessed]

um of course you should do bodhi/cassian :D

(after that initial mishap, here goes attempt 2)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lov

proposes: bodhi! even with his anxiety, if he wants something desperately enough, he wont let the nerves get in his way of at least trying. meanwhile cassian has grown up learning that everyone and everything is temporary and no one ever stays, so he would never expect for any one to pledge to stay with him for the rest of their lives, and he especially doesnt think he deserves for someone to, either, not after everything hes done, even after he and bodhi have been together for years, he always fears, but expects, it to end. (bodhi talks some sense into him. “That may be what you think, but what do you want, Cassian?” And he does. He wants this so desperately. He says yes)

shops for groceries: together because its a novelty neither of them have had the opportunity to indulge in for so many years, if ever. theyre that one disgustingly cute couple who fight over which cereal to buy, then kiss over the cart

kills the spiders: cassian, but he doesnt kill them, he puts them outside. (“but what if it comes back inside?!” “it’s just a spider bodhi” “spiders existing is homophobia, cassian!”)

comes home drunk at 3am: bodhi doesnt drink, but cassian usually wont stay out that late or get that smashed either, especially without bodhi. on the rare occasion kes keeps him out so long, he always gets home and is super snuggly and just octopus’ himself around bodhi

remembers to feed the fish: technically it’s bodhis responsibility since cassian is away often and it should just be part of bodhis routine except it isnt and he forgets a lot, then overfeeds it the next day. when cassian gets home, hes no better. eventually they install an automatic food dispenser

initiates duets: cassian! theyre in the mess and a song comes over the sound system, one that cassian has been playing in the ship for weeks. cassian smirks at him and starts singing the words, encouraging bodhi to join in. he buries his head in his arms for the first minute but eventually its gets to That Point in the song and he gives in and fully belts it out and cassian is grinning and singing and bodhi keeps singing and k2so stares at them like theyre mad and at the end the half empty mess cheers. bodhi tries to melt into the floor. cassian kisses his cheek and distracts him entirely.

falls asleep first: it varies day to day. sometimes cassian is so exhausted from a mission that he knocks right out the moment he lies down. sometimes its a different kind of exhaustion, the kind that keeps him awake all night, unable to stop thinking about everything, the kind that whenever he closes his eyes he has to force them open again because he cant see the faces of all the people he’s killed, all the names hes forgotten. he cant spend 6 hours watching them on repeat on the back of his eyelids. so he stays awake. bodhi on the other hand, sometime just works till he falls asleep in the hangar, working on his ship. hes also the type to fall into a food coma nap. but sometimes late at night, cassian already snoring beside him, the tentacles creep back. these nights, he lights a candle and crawls close to cassian and watches the soft dancing shadows on the wall, like how he would watch the dust and sand over the desert outside NiJedha, and lets the memories of childhood soothe him.

plans spontaneous trips: bodhi, i feel. cassian has his regimented routine because it gives some order to the chaos of war, but bodhi, finally away from the oppressive restrictions of the Empire, makes the most of his new freedom

wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes: bodhi cant cook. he spent most of his adulthood on a cargo ship with no kitchen, or on a base with a mess. he wakes up in his ship in the hangar after dozing off in the middle of fixing something and goes to wake up cassian because hes starving and the cooks are asleep, “please cassian i missed dinner and you make the best pancakes in the galaxy” “1. that was your fault. 2. sucking up will get you no where. 3….. you know what, yes it does, lets go. but only cos i love you” cassian doesnt even notice its the first time hes said it until later, but thats because bodhi is happy groaning while shovelling pancakes at lightspeed and professing his own love for cassian (and his pancakes), so really, theyre even

sends the other unsolicited nudes: not sure if either of them are the type, maaaaaaybe bodhi, but their holos are resistance-issued and probably connected to a common server which could potentially lead to some extremely embarassing situations with certain senior officers

brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt: cassian! baze and chirrut start teaching bodhi how to fight and cassian comes over like “oh i know this!” and theyre like mmhmmmmm, so bodhi and cassian have a go sparring, or trying to. theres a reason cassian is an intelligence officer and carries a blaster because bodhi flattens him in 0.02s. “i thought you were a novice!” “i thought you were an expert!” (theyre not together at this point and then they realise bodhi is fully lying on top of cassian and theyre really very close and they scramble away smiling awkwardly. baze snorts and chirrut sniggers from the background. they know)

comes to a halt outside bakeries/candy shops: bodhi!! cassian didnt really have that kind of thing as a kid, and he was barely a kid for long enough anyway, but bodhi remembers the rare trips, the treats his mother would get them maybe twice or three times a year, and the excitement he always felt, the wonder. he always slows, wistfully looking in. after a few times, cassian notices. bodhi tries to insist its not necessary but cassian insists that it is and drags him inside and spends all the spare credits they have on sweets and pastries

blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit: cassian. he just pulled some stupid and partially unnecesary stunt to save bodhis skin in a battle. bodhi rolls his eyes

killed the guy (also, which hid the body): if its part of the mission, cassian will kill the person and bodhi will help hide the body, but cassian will only kill someone if it is absolutely necessary and avoids it if at all possible. he has already seen and dealt out so much death, he doesnt if he can at all avoid it.

wears the least clothing around the house: bodhi! after the war when they settle down on yavin iv (not far from the damerons), well. yavin iv is a fairly warm planet and jedha was very much not, so bodhi is very used to the cold. in the middle of winter and its -10 degrees and cassian has wool socks, 3+ fluffy jackets and at least 5 blankets, and still feels cold, bodhi is walking around barefoot in a tshirt and pants. (“youre making me cold just looking at you!”) (cassian gets his vindication when summer rolls around and bodhi feels like the entire planet is just a sauna 24/7)

has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason: cassian!!!!! my first thought was bodhi but, i feel like he would have at least vaguely apparent reasoning to be sappy. cassian, on the other hand, internalises pretty much everything, its so hard for most people to know what hes thinking that when he suddenly throws his arms around bodhi and whispers how much he loves him, most people are completely thrown, moments earlier thinking he’d just found a cool pattern in the bottom of his mug or something. at first bodhi is even thrown a little by it, but he soon learns cassians tells. there may be no reason apparent to anyone else, but bodhi always knows.

send me a pairing and ill tell you who does what!

[sincelight]

Hi there! If you have time, could you please write a baeksoo fic on James Arthurs song 'say you wont let go?' Thank you so much! !

Okay, this took a very long time and I’m sorry. I’m also sorry what what I have written… please don’t hate me. It’s just… i listened to the song and then watched the video and it made me sad so i wrote sad. (also i defintely didnt read through it so when you come across the inevitable spelling mistakes im sorry for that also)

“I need some air, I’ll be right back!”

He’s leaning against the brick wall at the side of the building, trying to cool off, catch his breath. It gets so hot inside the club with all the bodies pressed close, dancing and grinding. It’s not really his type of place, but his friends dragged him out, said he needed to stop keeping himself cooped up in his apartment. So he’s here, half-drunk, using a cool brick wall to keep him upright as he tries to light a cigarette.

A light flashes in front of him.

“Looked like you were having trouble,” a deep voice says.

He leans forward, cigarette pressed between his lips, and uses the strangers lighter. He inhales and blows out a cloud of smoke, giving the man a tight-lipped smile. “Thanks.” The man smiles back, face lit by the dim neon lighting hanging along the top of the building. He watches the man light his own cigarette, placing it between his full lips; the lighter lights his face up, and what a pretty face it is.

“I’m Baekhyun.”

The man exhales his smoke, flashing Baekhyun another smile. “Kyungsoo.”

They make small talk as they smoke, discovering similar interests, hobbies, distaste for onions, and lemonade. Kyungsoo waits while Baekhyun finishes his cigarette; he’s still pressed against the brick wall, but has moved closer throughout their conversation. Baekhyun enjoys his voice, and the way his eyes sparkle despite the low lighting.

“Hey so,” Baekhyun starts as they walk toward the entrance, “do you wanna maybe dance with me… when we get back inside?” He holds his breath for some reason, like a no from this stranger he’d just shared a back alley cigarette break with would hurt his feelings. But, Kyungsoo just smiles and nods, taking Baekhyun’s arm as they enter the building.

Neither of them are the best dancer, not like Baekhyun’s friend Jongin, who is a few feet away lost in the rhythm, oblivious of the crowd he’s gathered around him. But they know how to sway and rock, and Baekhyun knows how to grind against Kyungsoo’s surprisingly firm body. It’s pleasant and fun, and Baekhyun likes how Kyungsoo’s hands feel sliding up his waist. He turns in Kyungsoo’s hold and meets his eyes; his heart skips and he has to look away to bite his lip, trying to hide the dumb smile spreading.

3am finds them in Kyungsoo’s apartment, sweaty and tired, and much too drunk. Baekhyun’s friends had quickly accepted Kyungsoo into their group and filled them all with round after round of colorful shots. They haven’t kissed, but Baekhyun knows it’s headed there; he knows this will be another fun one night stand story to tell his friends about.

When Kyungsoo still hasn’t come out of the bathroom Baekhyun knocks at the door. The undeniable sound of throwing up is the only thing Baekhyun hears in return. He lets himself in and sits on the bathtub beside Kyungsoo, who’s curled pathetically around the toilet.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo’s voice echoes in the toilet bowl.

Baekhyun just smiles. “It’s okay, happens to all of us.” He leans forward and pushes Kyungsoo’s sweat soaked hair off of his forehead. And then Kyungsoo lifts his head. Baekhyun’s always been one to fall too hard too fast, he knows this. But the smile Kyungsoo gives him when he looks up at him has Baekhyun’s heart stopping and pounding all at once. Looking into Kyungsoo’s eyes is a sobering moment, his world has never made more sense than it does right now. He’s never really believed in soulmates, but Kyungsoo is surely something.

“It’s late,” Kyungsoo says softly, “you should stay over.”

They become friends after that night; Baekhyun couldn’t possibly let Kyungsoo become a one night thing. They’re both busy and live different, separate lives, but it’s easy to make time for each other. It never becomes anything more than going out as friends, for months, years, they hang out with each other. When Kyungsoo loses his job they move in together until Kyungsoo can get back on his feet; a year into Kyungsoo’s new job they decide it’s pointless for Kyungsoo to get his own place.

Baekhyun never tells Kyungsoo he’s been in love with him since the night they met.

And then, Kyungsoo introduces Baekhyun to his new boyfriend. He’s sweet and charming and funny and irritatingly good looking; he’s everything Baekhyun isn’t, everything he knows Kyungsoo deserves. Baekhyun tries to hate him, he desperately wants his jealously to seep through and take over, give him the courage to finally tell Kyungsoo how he feels. But, he sees how happy Chanyeol makes Kyungsoo, and he just cant do it. So he suffers in silence, sees Kyungsoo less, puts space between them. He sits further away from him when it’s just them in the apartment, purposely ignores phone calls, waits hours before replying to texts. If it bothers Kyungsoo, he doesn’t let it show. But, it’s tearing Baekhyun apart.

“Whats wrong?” Baekhyun sets his book on the coffee table and sits forward. Kyungsoo is standing in front of the open door to their apartment, staring silently at Baekhyun, a sullen look on his face. “Soo?”

Kyungsoo’s face twists from sadness to hurt and the tears that fall from his eyes hurt Baekhyun more than anything he’s ever witnessed. Baekhyun is on his feet in an instant, crossing the room and pulling Kyungsoo into the tightest hug he can manage. “Soo, what it is? Whats wrong?” He can feel Kyungsoo tremble as he cries silently on his shoulder.

“I broke up with Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun pushes Kyungsoo back by the shoulders. “What? Why? I-I thought you guys were happy?” He always thought hearing those words would make him happy, but he was wrong. Watching Kyungsoo cry hurts him more than watching him love someone else.

“He’s too tall and too loud and too funny and too sweet.”

Baekhyun blinks in confusion, “Soo, those are all good things. I don’t understand.”

Kyungsoo pushes Baekhyun hard, sending him stumbling back. “He’s not you, you idiot!” he cries. “He’s… he’s not you,” it comes out as a whisper; he’s staring down at his feet, fists clenched and shoulders slumped.

Baekhyun doesn’t speak, can’t speak. Did Kyungsoo really just say that? Did he mean what Baekhyun thinks he means? “Soo, what—“

“Tell me you love me, I want to hear it.” Kyungsoo is looking at Baekhyun now, eyes lined with tears, cheeks a blotchy pink color. “Say it.”

“I—“ Baekhyun freezes. The past four years play through his head like a movie where he’s the lovesick star and Kyungsoo is the unobtainable best friend. Years of pining and tears, the pain from holding himself back to keep Kyungsoo around, he sees all of it. He takes a deep breath, his body shaking, hands trembling as he reaches out for Kyungsoo. He grabs Kyungsoo’s cheeks and says, “I’ve loved you since the night we met.”

They’re outside smoking, both leaning on the balcony railing, looking out at the elaborate garden lit with twinkling white lights. Baekhyun cant stop stealing glances at Kyungsoo, more handsome than ever in his black tux. The party inside doesn’t stop in their absence, they can hear the thrumming bass and laughter through the closed doors.

“I love you.”

Kyungsoo’s sudden words break Baekhyun out of his daze. “I love you too,” he says with a sweet smile, moving closer to rest his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “Are you proud of me for not crying?”

Kyungsoo snorts, tosses his cigarette now too and wraps his arms around Baekhyun. “Is that what you call it? From where I was standing, it looked like you were crying.”

Baekhyun tosses his cigarette away and turns to look up at Kyungsoo. “Okay, so I cried a little,” he shrugs, “I told you I always cry at weddings.” He loops his arms around Kyungsoo, his husband, and sighs in content. “Promise me we’ll always be as happy as we are right now.”

“I promise.”

He waves goodbye, the ball of tissue in his hand pressed against his cheek to catch his tears. The little head pops up in the window of the bus and smiles at him, waving excitedly as the bus screeches and begins to move forward. Arms wrap around him from behind.

“The first days always the hardest,” Kyungsoo murmurs into Baekhyun’s ear. “He’ll be fine, Baek.”

Baekhyun chokes out a sob and turns in Kyungsoo’s hold to bury his face in his chest. “I can’t believe Sehun is in kindergarten. He’s so old already.”

Kyungsoo hums in agreement. “We’re old, Baek.”

Baekhyun lets out a small giggle and looks up. For a second, he sees Kyungsoo in bathroom of his old apartment, looking up at him from the floor with the loveliest smile he’s ever seen. Times like this, Baekhyun forgets it’s been twelve years since that night. Kyungsoo still takes his breath away, still sits at the center of Baekhyun’s universe where he shines like his own personal sun. “You’re starting to get gray hair,” he says, running fingers through the hair just above Kyungsoo’s ear.

“And, you’re just as beautiful as the night we met,” Kyungsoo says with a kiss to Baekhyun’s forehead.

Baekhyun cries instead of eating, cries instead of sleeping. He knows this isn’t what Kyungsoo wants, but he cant stop.

“I don’t want you to cry,” Kyungsoo says softly, voice almost drowned out by the beeping and whirring of the machines surrounding him.

“Am I supposed to be happy?” Baekhyun asks, trying his best to mask his anger. He sniffles, wipes at the tear slowly rolling down his cheek. “How can I not cry when you’re like this?” He motions to Kyungsoo, lying in a hospital bed, tubes and IVs jabbed into him. “Tell me you’re gonna be okay, and I’ll stop crying.” Kyungsoo just looks away with a sigh.

Sehun is there to hold his father’s hands; he’s not much better than Baekhyun. He’s brought his wife and their daughter, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s granddaughter, to say goodbye.

Baekhyun takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his and squeezes, looks into his eyes. He still sees twenty-five year old Kyungsoo, his face lit up under neon lights and firelight, holding his lighter out for him, those same big eyes that Baekhyun is still in love with. He thinks back to all the breakfasts in bed, the early morning coffee they drank together, raising their son. He couldn’t possibly be happier to have shared all of that with Kyungsoo.

He cries for a long time once Kyungsoo is gone. Their home doesn’t feel the same, nothing is the same without Kyungsoo. But he’s glad he has years of memories to look back on when he’s sad, when he feels like he’ll die without Kyungsoo. He’s gone, but Baekhyun’s happy he at least had him for the time he did. When he thinks back, theres always one memory in particular that fills him with warmth; Kyungsoo’s bright smile looking up at him from a dirty bathroom floor.

Baekhyun thanks his lucky stars for that night.

[100percentdirtball]

the delightful @possumpossumpossum asked me th’other day about my time at camp, and i just started writing to her, and in the end i’d written a fuckin’ novel, and i know some other folks have been curious, so... here’s this thing.

content mentions: csa, drug abuse, suicide, a whole lot of love

the camp is called camp grounded and there are eight rules: no digital technology of any kind; no telling time equipment or using time; no talking about work, including what it is that you do; no age talk, age doesn't matter; no drugs or alcohol, cigarettes are ok but only in like one little zone; no glow sticks or blinky lights; explicit consent is needed for any kind of physical contact; leave your name behind, use a new name of your choice until the closing ceremony. there were like 350ish ppl there, at this camp in the middle of fuckin nowhere in the redwoods.

it's been a really really huge part of my mom's life, and she billed it like it was going to be this whole big transformative thing for literally anyone, and i thought it sounded a little goofy, my attitude basically was like-- it'll be dope to not have to answer phone calls and see some trees for a couple days. right away tho like right away, it's just... well, once ppl start showing up, you get together with your village. everyone is in a particular village of 20-30 ppl, a little subgroup, if it's a tent village everyone pitches their tents in the same zone, cabin villages are all in the same cabins. i was in jackrabbit which was a tent village and so camp starts with a getting together with your new village and doing some like, silly icebreaker games but also like... pair off randomly by a silly method and make eye contact with your new partner and just like, get intimate for a minute. we talked about how we picked our camp names, what we wanted to get out of the weekend, and... idk, already i just was feeling really good about these ppl

on the bus ride up i was sitting with splash and sunshine who were from philly and we bonded a little bc i'd been there ever, and princess proton and lulu who knew each other from previous camps and this guy pickles was sitting next to me who was kind of a weird dude from colorado and it was his first camp also and after we talked a little it turned out he had gone to a rehab thing in this part of the country so we bonded over bein sober buds

the first jackrabbity ppeople i met were bee bee sting who gave me this AMAZING nametag thing to replace my very bad nametag and the counselor ladybug who like is basically a perfect human??? one of the things we did in the group thing was go over the rules, and talk about why those rules are the rules, and about setting a like intention, a what we hope ot get out of the weekend, and by this time i had been with camp folx for like six hours so i was starting to Feel It&tm and i said my intention was that like

what i do in my life is say no. and saying yes to everything is a ridiculous goal, but my intention was to say no deliberately instead of reflexively, to see if maybe there was a yes hidden in the no.

THIS WILL BE RELEVANT LATER

like, that's the thruline, like i am going to tell you more about camp, but... there were only like two or three times the whole weekend where someone offered connection or activity or whatever and i said no, and it wasn't actually even because of my resolution most of the time?? i said yes bc i felt safe and loved and accepted the whole time, the whole whole time.

like, i don't know that i can describe what it's like to be in a place where at any time, with any person, even a stranger you're passing on one of the trails, you make eye contact and you smile and you say hi and it's a real actual connection, even if it's just for a moment, it's a real being acknowledged as another human spirit, nothing rote or formality about it

it was so easy!@!!! i don't talk to people, like i don't do that, but i was standing in line to get breakfast and the guy in front of me was looking a little like he didn't have anyone to talk to and i didn't so i was just like, hey what's up? it was the last day of camp and i just asked him like, what's one thing you're going to take home with you? and we had like 20m of conversation, and we got into some real deep stuff. and it felt as easy as breathing. his name was sparkle.

i feel like i'm skipping from one place to the other, like there isn't a cohesive narrative here, and that's something i'm always wanted about, but i just don't know how to describe it, i don't know how to show you what it felt like so i just keep pulling little trinkets out of my bag and putting them next to the growing pile and hope if i pull out enough the shape will make sense

there was a talent show, and i think it speaks volumes about how open and inviting the community is that out of like 350 ppl 55 people signed up for the talent show, including a lot of ppl who had literally never been on a stage before. there were people who were, speaking from a critical standpoint, not super good at the thing they were doing, and also legit professional performers, and the crowd!!! responded in exactly the same way for each extreme!!!! and it didnt' feel forced at all

i found out after camp was being broken down that the talent show started at 9 pm, and went 'til almost 3am. it moved from one stage to a smaller stage, and i was like third from last, and still there were thirty or so people in the audience. i closed the stage out, i wanted to be there to the end. at first i was upset about going on so late but it was so perfect, the audience was in just the right place to receive me and i was in just the right place to tell a bummer fuckin story about my shitty granddad. two spots before me a woman named fulfilled got on stage and worked her way slowly and faltering through the story of forgiving her brother for molesting her and her family for covering it up, then a guy named happy feet who did a dance and stream of consciousness about, i don't know, maybe taking too much ecstasy and just wanting to stay high forever, and then me, and then an opera singer, and sprinkle lifestyle talking about his ex-best friend blaming him for her husband’s death, and then a man named rabbi doing a guided meditation about finding your perfect self and becoming it

i cried so much, i already cry a lot but i cried so much, and i cried in front of other people, and i didn't wipe my tears i just let them fall and let myself be red and smeary and blurry and people joined me

at the 90's themed dance they played a song one of my old friends who committed suicide used to play, and bee bee walked me away from camp and just held me and then took me to the typewriter village and i wrote him a letter and then i went back into the place and danced to nirvana

there was a tea spot, a yurt where there were tea tastings and people ended up falling over each other, and i met a woman named scoby and she said "can i put my head on your shoulder" and we watched scarecrow, real name john craigie, and then the set ended and we started walking and she curled her arm around mine and we took the long way and i said, "our eyes will adjust, thank god for the moon" and we sang rent and talked about how we ended up in kind of the same place but by different routes, how she was poly and working on not falling in love so easily, and how i was just starting to allow myself to want intimacy again, and we slept together in her tent all tangled up, we talked about how we really definitely wanted to fuck, but also really didn't want to do that and i looked for her in the morning but she had already left

i was saving the last picture on my disposable camera for a picture of her but she had gone so i took a picture of myself instead, i hadn't taken any of myself

i read tarot, i read for myself and i read for a bunch of other people, and there was a tarot workshop, and i did that and we sat together in a circle and passed decks around and i cried and cried and cried when i pulled the queen of cups. i've seen the queen of cups a lot of times in reading for myself and it's always been someone else, some external force, but in that moment it was me. i had brought my deck, and it was the first time anyone other than me had touched it, and i could feel the hum of the camp in the cardstock when i read for superman later in the day, and justice jumped out of the deck, and i sat with him and his wife danger and we puzzled over the cards and then i laughed and laughed and laughed because he chose to call himself superman and we couldn't figure out what justice was supposed to mean

in the hotel last night i cried for an hour, by myself, walking from the bathroom to collapse on the bed to shuffle back towards the taps, ,how can i leave all that behind? how can i be in the real world again? how can i go back to being closed off, go back to being jack instead of dizzy?

when rabbi walked us through a field holding fallen stars, each one of them a crystal-encased version of ourselves, a past or present or future that could be, and he asked us to find our perfect self, what i saw was how i looked in that moment, i saw the me at camp, the me who everyone says couldn't stop smiling, the me who speaks soft and true, who reads cards and holds hands and says yes instead of no and has a shoulder that looks like a good place for your cheek