#i didnt ask for your blood in my veins

[artificerangel-sys]

Having to remind yourself that no, these people aren't your family. They're your blood, they hate you, and you're hurting yourself wishing for better

[styxwanderer]

Hey you can ignore this if you don’t want to answer that. This is an idea to a reaction for the Twst cast to Yuu/Reader being mad at Crowley.

But IMAGINE Yuu/Reader getting told by Crowley that they can’t actually return to their own world because either it wasn’t possible to begin with or had some kind of time limit to which they could return home. And what if Crowley knew for a long time and just didn’t tell Yuu for whatever reason. Now they are so mad and want to commit arson.

I, at least, would ask Ortho, Epel or Floyd to help me empty out Crowleys office and pile it up outside making a big bonfire. (I wold make copies of all his Documents, (I’m not that cruel) I would just hide them to see the look on his face) I would also add things like magnesium, sulfate and other tings to make pretty colored flames.

I love your writing style and I hope you could write your ideas about this.

NRC Tales: No Way Home |

〖Twisted wonderland〗

Dear Neufra darling, I love that brain of yours. i want to kiss it! Sorry it took a while, my brain just kept on generating new ideas for this prompt. I hope you enjoy this fic.

•´¨*•.¸¸.•*´¨•.¸¸.•♪♫•¨•.¸¸❤¸¸.•¨•♫♪ •´¨*•.¸¸.•*´¨•.¸¸.•

“HOW COULD YOU?!” You screamed at the face of the old crow. All respect and calm demeanor to the side. 

“N-Now now..” Crowley was taken aback at your outburst. He  would have never expected these reaction coming from you, the usually calm and nice you. Yet here you are, vein threatened to burst out of your skin.

Why had this happened? 

It is simple.. 

You had discovered that this bastard of a headmage of yours could’ve actually send you back home a month ago, but since he missed the exact timing and all, he decided to cover up his mistake hoping no one would noticed. 

You went to report the headmaster of the progress you made and clues you have regarding a passage for you to went back, yet the crow was not in his office. 

Then you discovered the letter and a piece of paper explaining how the passage mirror works in regard to traveling through dimensions. The next possible time for a dimension travel is approximately 1000 year after the last one. This enough had make your heart clenched. You noticed the date written for the next possible time for dimension travel is a month ago.

Everything was blank for you, “no.. its cant be.. no no no..” 1000 year?! Is this a joke? Human can’t even live past 200. You ears ring as you have difficulty to breathe air. 

Admist of your panic the door turn revealing Dire Crowley. 

“Oh! You surprised me! You should’ve waited outside if i am not in the office .. well? Are you alright?.”

“You… am i alright?” You scoffed. As it clicked to you, the paper was in crowley desk, He knew, he knew but choses not to tell you anything, he knew but chose to pretend and leave you with your meaningless tedious investigation.

“What’s the matter?” 

“How could you…”

“Sorry?”

“HOW COULD YOU!!” You screamed pointing at the paper, you felt blood rushing up your head as tears build up your eyes, you can never see your parents again. Your siblings, your beloved pet, your friends. ‘I am now truly as good as dead to them.’ 

“A—ah.. now.. now..” 

“NOW WHAT?! I can’t.. i can never see my family… why? I can’t… HOW COULD YOU!” myriad of emotions blast through your nerves, but most of all the pain in your heart. You can’t breathe. If you can’t breathe then might as well scream. 

“YOU KNEW. YOU KNEW ABOUT THE DATE! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME? Why?! “ you could feel your salty tears rushing down your face.

“I am sorry.. but..” Crowley was taken aback by your outburst. Sure he felt guilty but at the same time, he couldn’t reverse time. 

“It was in your desk.. it was in your desk all along. The solution.” You vision has now blurred its view. You tried to wipe it but it kept flowing.

“I am sorry.. there is nothing i could do.. on the plus side, you have a new family now in twisted wonderland you see, new friends too, so don’t feel so disheartened.”

You could not believe your ears. You lift your face from your hand as you stare at his smiling face.

I want to punch that.

“ARGHHHHHH” You grab the nearest lamp stand as you pulled it off the switch as you lunged to this bastard. 

“AAAAAA!!” The crow screamed

‘BOOM!’

‘Crashhh!’

Your body was hurled into the desk by an explosion, landing you to the inside of the desk. Everything ache, you felt that you might have cracked or broken a bone, but you are too numb to notice.

“Headmage!” The door slammed open as the red haired man walked in as he rushed towards Crowley side.

“What happened here? We heard shouting.” The man in a fancy business suit follow in tow.

“Somebody finally have enough of your shit huh old man.” The lion werebeast too walked in.

“Now who would’ve done that?!” The white hair man 

“No matter we need to dispose such unruly person, tch.. it’s always violence first.” The actor draw his Grimoire wand. 

“Hii.. is this an assassination attempt? That’s scary.” A flying tablet walked in.

“Whatever it is, such matters could be solved instantly.” The man with two black horned too entered.  It is rare for Malleus to be present the dormleader meeting, this time Lilia had kept his eyes glued and tell him to go to the meeting hence the rare occurrence. 

They all have just finished their discussion in the dormleader meeting and were heading back to their respective dorm before hearing a loud shout and noises coming from the office. They decide its best to investigate. 

In a glimpse riddled saw somebody was about to attack the headmage and hence the explosion spell. 

The lightbulb of the lamp shade has shattered upon impact. Some of the shard had managed to pierce your hand. But no matter , you could not feel the penetrating shards nor the flowing blood. You were driven by rage, rendering you senseless of others. You did not even noticed who had entered the office. All you want to do is to get back at Crowley the way you know to do. You can’t do magic, but you sure can cause physical harm. 

A loud slam brought the dormwarden attemtion to you. You whom had felt your shoulder dislocated, decided that it is an obstacle, hence you slam your shoulder back in place by slamming it to the desk. You felt no pain, just a hollowing despair.

“A monster…?”

“No thats..”

“Y/n!!!”

The housewarden could only gawk at the sight of your furrowed eyebrow, vein popping out on your side. A clear fury drenched your face.

“no no no no….DONT GET IN MY WAY” an anguished cry came from your mouth as you eerily stood up and charged towards the headmage. Your bloody hand leaving trails as you shove Kalim and Vil away so you could get to the headmage. 

‘Y/n?!!’ 

Just as you were about to get a hit of that masked bastard you felt two strong arms holding you under the elbow, dragging you away from Crowley.

“Unhand me! I SAY UNHAND ME!” You struggle through Leona’s grip, kicking both your legs. You are manic.

“Eugh, calm down! Calm down, Y/N!” Leona whom had managed to snapped out of his shock tried to reason as he struggled to keep you in his hold.

“NO!! Please!! LET ME GO! Let me go!” Your eyes starts to blur once more, this time you can���t wipe the tears away, you don’t bother to do so, you had one goal to achieve. Tears are pouring freely from your manic eyes, eyebrows scrunched up marring your face. There is blood coming out one side of your face from the explosion. You are bruised all over, your clothes ripped and untidy, your hair a chaotic mess. 

Your appearance brought all of them to agape.  

Malleus upon snapping out rush to your side, helping leona to contain you.

“Y/n, please calm down.”

“Erkh, oi stop gawking start helping.” Leona snapped 

“You are bleeding!” Vil run to clasp your hand that hold the lamp shade tightly. 

“Let go.. your hand is injured.” He tried to pry it off your hand but you hold still. 

Your bloodshot eyes still focused on Crowley as you try to shake these obstacles. 

Kalim and Idia are staring blank to afraid to move. The gentle sweet you all gone replaced by your rage.

“Y/n! Im.. im so.. in sorry..im sorry” riddle stammered, he was ridden with guilt for casting the explosion that caused your injury, he hurt his precious person. 

“Whatever the fuck did  you do to rouse this reaction?” Azul turned to Crowley. Unable to stand the sight of your despair. 

“Uhmm..” crowley hated the attention that was instantly directed to him. 

“TELL THEM WHAT YOU DID! TELL THEM!! You.. YOU BASTARD!” You shouted still in their grasp unable to move further.

“I might have missedthetimelimittosendthembackhome. And the next possible date for it to happened again is 1000 year after last month Its not my fault—“ 

“FUCKKK YOUU!” With a new found power you try to pry those latching to you.

“Oii!” You manage to stagger Leona as he lost his grip, letting you slip. as much as Leona think you deserves to beat the crow to pulp he noticed your injured state, not wanting to worsen your condition he held on.

“Stop it! Stop it y/n. You will injure yourself.” Kalim rushed to hug you on your waist allowing Leona to keep his grip on you. 

“How could you missed the date for such important event?!” Riddle shouted to the headmage.

“And you don’t think to tell them!” Azul turned to shout.

“MOVE! AAAAARGHHH!!”  Frustrated by your inability to move you wailed.

If the housewarden were to be asked years after of the events that happened today they will always remember your anguish filled scream. Its deafening yet they could only feel their hearts cracking, as if they were hit by a hammer that let the pain vibrates through their whole body. 

It lasted not only for 5 second, you were screamed continuously for how ever long it takes for your lungs to be a depleted balloon. It is relatively a short time, but it felt like hours for the housewarden. At the end of your screamed you slumped down as those surrounding you lowered you to the ground slowly, vil finally taking the lamp shade out from your grip. 

“I… im… im never going to see them again.. im never going to see my family again… im never ..” you are interrupted by a sob before fully bursting into tears. Placing both your hand to your face. 

You felt yourself being wrapped in an embrace of the lion and a leathered hand patting your head. Kalim still holding you from the waist was moved to tears too. 

“Its not fairrr..” you squeek between sobs.

“ How could you be so irresponsible?” Vil shouted towards crowley.

“God help me im about to smash this lamp shade to your head instead!” Vil shouted

“Now now c-calm down.. lets talk about this.”

“What is there to talk about? Look at the pain you have caused!” Azul glared

“This is totally unacceptable! How could you?”

Riddle felt his head starting to colour red.

“This is enough, you have proven to me that you do not deserve to stand by them, now perish !” Malleus lift his hand up from your head as he walked towards  crowley, he himself felt enraged for what he did to you.

“Wa.. Wait wait wait!” Crowley stepped back, he sure wasn’t expecting the dormwarden to gang up on him, more the king of briar to be involved.

Malleus got close and closer as he clasp his hand on his neck.

“Eekh.”

“What is going on here.” The red robe man walked in inspecting the office, he was followed by the dog loving professor who too had been alerted by a heart wrenching scream. Behind both of them the big gym teacher too, follow them inside. 

The teachers sure wasn’t expecting the headmage to be choked by one of the student more over Malleus, they too wasn’t expecting the headmage to be surrounded by the other housewarden who had looked enraged. 

“what is the meaning of this” crewel demanded. 

Just as the teacher rushed in, the door opened for another trio.

“MYEH! What’s all the noises!” Grim rushed inside of the room

“We heard a commotion. Is everybody alright?”The spade boy rushed in with the heart.

The three of them were in their way to pick you up, since they were informed that you are going to report to crowley about the first year group hard-found investigation. They were planning to walk you back to the ramshackle dorm and have a midnight hang out with you and the others. 

Upon seeing the sight of malleus choking the headmage and the wrecked office they froze.

“Uwah.. what’s will all these mess..” ace surveyed the room. 

Crewel too observed the room before his eyes trails to another group in the room, he found you bruised, bleeding and sobbing into your hand as leona hugged you protectively  from behind and kalim, who is also crying, apologizing to you as in condolences, hugging your waist. 

“Crowley what did you do to my pup?” He spits. He won’t take shit from the man, looking at how broken you are not to mention the scream. He could feel the despair from your form. 

“I demand answer now!” Trein who had think of you as a stepchild, steps ignore the state of crowley who was still in the hold of Malleus. 

“I, i accidentally well.. miss the date in which the is the only possible date to open a transport to another dimension and the next date would be 1000 years from last month.” 

“And how are they in a ragged state?”

“Uhm.. that is my fault i thought the headmage was being attacked by an stranger so i cast an explosion spell resulting them to be thrown to the desk and landed behind. I am sorry.. im sorry y/n” riddle face was painted with guilt.

The silence given by the teachers is foreboding.

Crewel pull out his phone as he dial a number. “Hello I’d like to report a child neglect. Yes from NRC.”

“Wait wait wait! Please! Its a simple mistake, we living being made mistake.” 

“Not as crucial as this, this is just pure idiocy, that comes from me who doesn’t really understand much.” Vargas said.

“This is truly despicable.” Trein shouted

“Thats so fucked up!” Ace shouted

“No shit!” Deuce continues. 

“I knew we should never trust this bastard!” Grim snarled. Grim then rushed closer to where you slumped. Concern painted his face. “Henchmen…. are you alright.” 

The commotion starts again as the teachers too started to bash the neglectful headmage.

“… What.. what's the point..” you whispered a sob , slowly you put down your bruised and bleeding hand.

“What?” Kalim asked between sobs.

“What’s the point of living… everything… everything that i do is meaningless…” as the last word spout from your mouth your eyes rolled to the back, with your rage calmed into despair the extend of your injuries soon begun to catch up on its effects resulting your consciousness to fade. Its most likely from when you hit your head on the desk and then the floor resulting a blood injury on the side of your head.

“O-Oi… wake up. Y/N WAKE UP!” Leona stern voice laced with concern has alerted 

“Y/N! Y/NN!!” Kalim and grim yelled trying to wake you up. 

All attention turned to your limped body as they rushed towards your side. Crowley being dropped to the ground with a loud thud.

“Move movee!” Riddle shoved through the crowd.

“Leona lay her down and slightly elevate their head. Kalim let go.” Riddle shouted.

The sobbing Kalim of course refused to let you go, he is concerned for his dearest friend. Vargas had to pry Kalim off your waist as he clung to you. Leona comply because he know better.

Riddle begun a quick check up on your breathing. 

“They are not breathing!!” Riddle cried

“Move away give them space” Crewel pushed back the crowd as they all step back. 

Riddle then begun to do CPR on you.

The others watched with anxiety running course their veins. Dread filled their system as they thought of the worst possible outcome. After a while riddle managed to get you to breathe. Even if its faint at least you are breathing. With leona pressing on the wound in your head to stop the bleeding.

“We need to bring her to the infirmary hurry!” Riddle yelled.

Leona being the most athletic picked you up in an ease and rushed towards the infirmary. The others followed agreeing that there is a more precedented matter at hand and decide to deal with crowley after the matter is settled. 

Once they have arrived to the infirmary the nurse rushed towards you, ripping you away from leona’s arm asking them all to wait outside as they perform their knowledge to treat you. 

Leona stared at his bloody hand, it is not often that dread filled his guts, usually its a bitter annoyance, yet not all he could feel is anxiety amd dread. 

The rest was no better, they all thought of what they could’ve done to prevent this, what they regretted. None of them are prone to wishing, since a wish are for children. But now they found themselves wishing that all of this is a nightmare. Wishing that this would be over soon. Wishing for you to just open your eyes.  begging and praying for you to be alright, and for the you whom would embrace them in a warm hug with a gentle smile on your face to return not the lifeless ghastly you. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Ignihyde dorm,

For once idia wished he is present in that office instead of observing from the comfort of his room. His room felt chilly, shivers run down his spine, he was left speechless, so was ortho, who had been brought to attention by the commotion could be heard from idia’s monitor just as he was about leave to the ramshackle dorm gulped.

“Brother… what should we do?”

“I.. I dont know ortho..but we can’t leave them like this.”

Idia rushed as he and his brother rushed to the infirmary.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

in the infirmary,

The nurse finally were able to give you proper care as they patch you up, all that rest was for you to wake up.

Those do not settle well for any of the teacher nor the housewarden and your precious trio. They decided to keep you take turns to keep you company. Not knowing when you will wake up. 

The first is grim since he insisted so hard and refuse any other attempts to debate him. This meant of course that ace and deuce too to insist. And hence they got the first 5 hour to company their injured friend. Ortho insisted to stay with the group as well. Saying he is able to detect vital signs as the hours near the time of your collapse a crucial hour. So he wanted to check in you. 

Second goes to Kalim who is persistent about being any help to you what so ever. Kalim felt hopeless and useless. He wished he could’ve done something for you. And he blame himself for not being able to prevent this event. 

The third is Idia who had come in a rush with ortho, he volunteered to everyone surprise.

The fourth goes to Malleus, whom had  insisted since “he could stay up late than any other”. 

The fifth goes to vil whom had insist that since it would be in the break of dawn he is the most eligible guy for this because he woke up early. 

Sixth goes to Leona who snapped out of his trance.

Seventh to Azul, who was looking pale as if a shark was tailing him from the dark depths, he felt powerless like he was when he was a kid. And he loathe that. 

And last but not least to riddle. Whom still feels guilty for casting the explosion spell.

The days in which you are laid unconscious were tense and restless. An eerie silence has swept NRC. The dormwardens who were not on their shift returned to their dorm bringing the news to those who knew you. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Heartslabyul dorm,

When Riddle was rigid, he was devastated of the fact that he himself was the reason of your injury. He was greeted by trey and carter who upon noticing his face was concerned amd ask him what happened. 

When Riddle finished with the news, both thought that riddle was playing jokes at them, it is after they noticed Riddle tearing up that they realized how dire the situation was. The both of them are shocked to find that their friend bawling from guilt.

Trey and Carter calmed Riddle down and talked him out of his guilt, it truly wasn’t Riddle’s fault. 

The two of course wanted to give the crow a piece of their mind. Carter was about to make a video cancelling the headmage in his magicam (he was stopped by Riddle, even though he himself wanted Carter to post it.).  

Trey hastily walked to the kitchen to bake a lot of baked goods for their injured friends, having nothing to do Riddle and Carter helped Trey gladly, and so the three of them spent all might in the kitchen making fantastic delicious food for you. but of course they can’t forget a tart for the crow, a tart that shall be name ‘the pest killer’. Carter and Riddle too gladly help with his ill intent baking. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Savannaclaw dorm,

Upon noticing the smell of blood on their housewarden who looked grimmer than he usually was Ruggie and Jack rushed for answers. 

“Eugh so noisy…” 

With a sigh Leona begun the story, recalling the previous incident. 

Jack rushed to the infirmary, disregarding Leona’s attempts to stop him, leona could only sigh and let Jack be. 

Ruggie was in shell shock, he cannot believe the headmage! Just what kind of headmage neglect his duty?! He pity you, he wanted to go along with jack but he decided its best to do so later. Now he will plan the demise of a crow with the lion. That’s what he gets for messing with their pack.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Octavinelle dorm,

Azul was staggering back into his dorm, noticing the arrival of their friends Jade and Floyd. Noticing the pale they tease their friends but in actuality they are curious and concerned about the thing that made their friend so disheartened. Azul share the story, he felt himself going back to his overblot personality. 

Jade and floyd were silent, their face grim, their eyes were flashing dangerously. They looked to each other, and then a eerie smirk painted their face, 

“we can’t let that slide can we.” Said jade.

“We are going to give this crow the tightest squeeze ever!” Said floyd.

“Yes.. maybe a bot of a waterboarding action would make the crow realized that he fucked up.” Azul joined in.

But of course they find your well-being to be the outmost importance, so they will busy themselves watching over you until you wake up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Scarabia dorm,

Jamil was surprised to find his ‘friend’ come back to Scarabia a crying mess, when Kalim notices Jamil water begun to pour once more from his eyes as he rushed to hug his friend. 

“What happened?” Jamil sigh asked patting Kalim back. He was no surprise of Kalim

Burst of tears, his childhood friend are prone to waterworks since he wear his feelings by the sleeve. It is the reason that shocked him. 

‘That damn bird brain!’ He hissed internally. Jamil wanted to go to you directly, but Kalim cling to him making him stuck. 

They did get their turn on the shift and so the snake waited patiently. He decided to cook a recipe from his mother for when he was sick hoping that would help you with recovery even if you. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Pomefiore dorm,

“Why so grim Roi du poisson?” Rook questioned, noticing the slight slump in his overall perfect posture as vil walked back to his dorm. 

“Of course i should’ve expected from your ever so vigilant eyes…” vil begun to tell the tragic tale of yours. 

The french boy could feel his smile dropped 

“oh what a tragedy. How the most beautiful rose are the most prone to be picked first. They would wilt in the dirty hand of such a scum. Such a greedy hand doesn’t deserve to hold such pretty flower on their blooming days.” 

His face was slowly casted with the shadow of his bangs. As malice run course his vein. He was not a fan of violence but to protect such a rose he wouldn’t mind to get his hand dirtied on. 

He decided to listened when vil started planning the demise of the dirty crow. He supported Vil cruel method to the fullest. 

Epel who was eavesdropping on the conversation rushed to the hospital wing of NRC, he wanted to this is a mere talk, but he knew Vil would never fuss himself over meaningless gossip. He still wished it was not real and you are fine and awake and will greet him with a smile on your face. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Ignihyde dorm,

Upon returning to his room Idia slumped in defeat, he is useless powerless once more, 

“I can’t… I can’t lose another person..” 

He begun to bury himself in work, he wanted to make sure you recovered well and Crowley to get what is coming to him. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

In Diasomnia dorm,

The briar king arrival was greeted by his vice leader and his two peers, but to him it was just his family greeting him back.

“Waka-sama! Thank you for your hard work!” The booming voice snapped Malleus put of his rage trance. He didn’t even notice the ice trail he was living behind. 

“Oh uh… yea.” Malleus answered 

“Its.. cold isn’t.” The silver haired boy softly spoke. 

“Malleus is thought i thought you to better control of your emotion. Look at the ice trail.” The bat fae man scolds.

“Ah i did that. Im sorry.” With a snap of his finger the trail was gone. But now he was faced with the concerned faces of his family. 

“Malleus what exactly happened..”

“I guess i need to tell you this as well.” Malleus sigh in defeat as he share the tale of how Crowley absolutely messed up your mental capacity.

“I should’ve crush his throat when i got the chance.” 

The room seemed to dimmed. When the shock was broken Lilia was cursing the damn crow. Silver who was angry stayed eerily quiet. ‘Unfair’ he thought. ‘Thats unfair!’ He felt dreadful sorrow for you enough to filled hos eyes with tears. After all that you done for them, they could not help you. 

Sebek who was in a silent trance excused himself in a hurry. His pale face is apparent. ‘No you have to wake up… i still have some stuff i haven’t get to say to you’ he thought as he rushed out of his form into the infirmary. He may sound rude or strict but he do truly cares about you and his friend. He regretted not being frontal about his feelings. 

The rest three of them could only do what villains do best. Planning to absolutely crush the crow with a wretched smile on their face. Even silver was in on the plan, without the wretched stained smile of course, he believe just was needed for you, he will become your knight in shining armour. Afterall, the damned bird had attacked their family, and there is a dire consequence to pay. 

All of them regretted that they couldn’t protect your from this event, they wished they were aware of what Crowley did. This includes the other teacher who wished they to participate in the investigation to find your way back home so that they could at least be aware of Crowley and his neglectful behaviour. If only they are apart of the investigation, they would be able to prevent this event from going. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The infirmary was cold and quiet. Ace, deuce and Grim all looked sullen. Grim was teary, crying for you to wake up soon. Deuce was praying for you to get better, to open your eyes at the very least. 

Ortho was observing you diligently monitoring your vitals and looking for a sign in case your symptoms worsened. Though that doesn’t mean he was not haunted by the event. 

Ace was deep in his thoughts how he regretted not coming with you to the headmage office.

All of them regretted not being with you in the office. The image of your hollow dull eyes was imprinted in their memory. Your scream ringed in their ears. A shadow casted the infirmary.  

First was jack who came in,

He was taken a back by the sight of your limped body, the visible bandaged wrist and arm a sore to his eyes. He felt rage for whoever made you like this. 

Epel was next, 

He looked as surprised as as jack muttering “its a lie.. its a lie no way..” before going mad himself  he wanted to cuss and find Crowley right then and there, but he stop himself for the same of you. 

The last to come was Sebek, 

Who had come with a teary eye. Seeing you so broken, fragile like glass he turned away to wipe the flowing tears. How sad your fate were. He find himself mad to the perpetrator. ‘How dare they.’

They all wished to have been there to inform the investigation  they all did to help you to go back home. They wish they are in the office comforting you rather than leaving you alone to discover such secrets. And to be there to prevent you from spiraling into a despair manic breakdown. 

When their turn is up, they exchange their shifts, the sneaky first year get to company you twice since they insisted to go with their perspective housewarden when it is their shift.

 Grim was there all the way, and if he wasn’t, it meant that he was dragged away from your bed by just anybody to get himself fixed and have a proper meal. 

All of them begged for the little miracle they could have. They know miracle does not happened at all for the likes of them, but this time, just this once they wishes and pray to the great sevens to bring you back, to make you open your eyes. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Your eyes could finally flutter on the dawn of the fourth day since the incident. You noticed that the sky was still dark. You tried to look around but a sharp pain ring your head causing you to winched. 

“Mon cheríe!” The hunter, whose eyes were fixed on you relaxed as he rushed towards your side. 

“Thank heaven! Please lay still.. you don’t want to further the damage in your head.” Vil sternly reprimand, he was sitting on the other side with a book in his hand.

“Y/n! Y/n!!!” You are awake!!!”  You see feel a soft furry friend rushed to hug you from your bedside. 

“Thank heavens!! Hey grim! Give em sum space would’ya!” The purple haired boy half shouted, 

They felt a part of their anxiety evaporating from them. But that is not enough

“Hnn.. what.. happened?” 

“…..”

“You…” vile stammered

“Y/n!! What's my name?”

“Epel, of course your name is epel..” you croak, your throat dry. 

The three people plus direbeast in the room sigh a heavy breathe, your memory is intact. 

“Here drink some water. He gently prop your head with his hand as he gently tip the glads of water into your parched mouth. 

Licking your dry lips you felt yourself weakly placed back to the bed.

“I.. i passed out…”

“Yess.. you have a concussion from the explosion.” Vil explained.

“The explosion…..” you muttered.

“I… i can’t go back… i can’t.. my family… i .. i can’t see them anymore.” You sobbed . Large bulb of tears spill from your eyes as quickly as it had pooled. 

The room was blurred by your tears and your sobs filled the room. 

“.. in sorry..” you hurriedly bring your hand to cover your face. You felt embarrassed to cry like this but you can’t help the tears that is pouring. 

“No stop that.. it’s not your fault mon cheri.”

He brought your hand back to the bed. Rook took a handkerchief from his pocket as he wipe your tears gently and carefully. Rook doesn’t find it disgraceful to see you in tears, in fact he thought your eyes looked like a jewel. 

He wished to comfort you very much, to take away the pain from you, but all he could do now was simply wipe your tears. 

Grim was silent. He could only lay his head on your chest as he try to comfort you with his padded paw. 

In all honesty Vil and Epel too doesn’t find you disgusting or messy for crying, rather they want you to cry on their shoulder, to comfort you the best they could. Same as Rook, they wished to wipe that tears away from you.

“Whatda’ya mean?! If its anybody fault its that damned bird!” Epel half screamed in his thich accent.

“YES YES! If i meet that crow! I’ll bite em for you!” Grim enthusiastically said.

“Epel is right! Never apologize to something that is not your fault!” Vil sternly advice. 

“.. thank you.. guys..” You try to suppress your hiccup and sob 

You were driven back to sleep because of your little breakdown much to the dismay of your friends. Your body and mental was too exhausted after the sobbing mess. 

They were all relieved that there doesn’t seem to be a sign of your physical damage to worsened but they could not bring them to be happy because you are so broken mentally. The little breakdown you have made a painful sting in their heart. 

“Rook inform the others that y/n is awake.” Vil ordered.

“Yes, Roi du poisson.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The others soon rushed to the hospital wing upon hearing the news. Their excitement was crushed to see your sleeping red tear stained face. 

“Hey, i thought you say she was awake?” Floyd lowly muttered, irritated.

“she fell back asleep.” Vil said

“Don’t mean with me?!” Leona growled 

“And who asked you to urgently come to infirmary?”

“Y/n really woke up!” Grim argued

“Yes! And she fell back to sleep from.. crying.” Epel continued.

A commotion starts, They were being loud, and accidentally waking you up. 

“Uhmnn…” 

“Oh she really is awake!” 

“Hey! Great now you woke her up!”

You were rubbing your eyes. As you begun to slowly sit up ignoring Vil insistent to get you to laugh down. 

“At least lay here,��� he grab another pillow from a nearby empty bed and he prop them up to make a comfortable sitting cushion.

“Thank you, vil.” You smiled. 

“uhm.. i made everyone worry.. im sorry.” You attempted to bow, you meant to only hurt crowley but here you are bai g a burden to everyone. 

Everyone protested. Vil grabbed unto you shoulder and prop the back to the pillow stack.

“What did i just tell you about apologizing for a mistake that isn’t yours?”

“Ah but i did made a mistake.. i become a burde-“

“Don’t finish that word! You are everything but a burden! And it was me who cast that blasted explosion spell, i caused your injury, i am very sorry you/n” Riddle felt shame as bow for forgiveness to you.

“After all you have done for us! It is us who could do nothing to help you. We are the one who should be sorry.” Lilia affirmed.

“ you have always been here for us, yet now…” Ace uncharacteristically said.

“We are sorry..” Kalim who was bought to tears again and were being held by Jamil as to not rush as hug you.

“No.. no.. please, Riddle i don’t blame you at all everybody in the bright mind would do that, and all of you are never a burden to me.” 

“Then don’t ever say you are a burden ok” silver spoke.

“Yes don’t you dare utter such blasphemy to your name!” Sebek yelled

“If its anyone fault! Its that damn birdbrain, don’t worry shrimpy I’ll give him a hugee squeeze for you~”

“Yes a punishment is at due.” Jade joined in.

“With no charge of cousse don’t worry yourself!” Azul smirked.

“Now here you muct be hungry, i made you my mothers recipe.” Jamil brought out a warm stew for you to eat.

“Yes! Jamil food always healed me when im sick!” 

“Ah yeah! After that you could have all the cake, tart, cupcakes, scones you’d like!” Trey add. Showcasing the whole baked goods he mentioned. Some of them are made in a cute animal shape.

“The heartslabyul bois made them with love~” Carter giggled.

“ whoa they bought the whole bakery to the infirmary!” Ruggie gawked

“Heh such a beloved spoiled herbivore you are.” Leona mused.

“You need to eat well y/n, for recovery!” Jack reminded.

“Yes that is true! A high nourishing food is good for a speedy recovery!” Ortho beamed. 

“Ah ok.. you went to pick the spoon up as the stew was placed in front of you, only to feel a the sun-kissed skin gently slap

It away.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He scolded. Jamil then picked up the spoon and scoop the stewing stew from the bowl, then he blow on them gently before moving it close to your mouth.

“Eh…” you blushed upon realizing what happened.

“C’mon the stew is spilling.”

“Ah ok..” you stammered. You hesitantly open your mouth allowing Jamil to feed you.

You felt quite embarrassed as you chew away the meat in your stew. 

“Oi…” 

“Why does it have to be you who feed them?” Ace grumbled.

“Because he made them.. don’t worry we will get out turn soon” deuce grinned.

“We should’ve bring them food too! Don’t worry next time i will cook a delicious meal for you!” Lilia announced.

“Oh uhm.. hahahha no.. i dont want to burden you hahaha.” You panicked.

The rest of them reminiscence the day they get to eat lilia food, the lot of them turned green.

You glanced at Tsunataron, Sebek, and Silver for help.

“Ah uh don’t worry we will help too!” Sebek boomed.

“Yes we would be the outmost help!” Silver joined.

“Yes we will keep a close watch!” Malleus continues.

“Hahaha thank you guys” you giggled.

“I too have a mushroom soup in mind! They are very nutritious you see!” Jade beamed as he always does when he talk about his mushrooms.

“Eughh stopp! Dont feed just mushroom to little shrimpy! They might get stomach pain!” Floyd complained 

“I agree with floyd, though the best of monstro longue food is at due!” Azul promised.

“I too have a recovery recipe for you, you will be healed in no time!” Vil said

“Oh! The great roí du poisson cooking for you, how luck must you be mon trickster.” 

“ big brother and i could come up with aomet too right, big brother!”

“Yes leave it to big… maybe not food hahaha.” 

Idia stammered at the end

The lot of them seeing this begun to have an idea to bring you food in the idea to get to feed you. Leona despite not saying anything brought you meat to eat, he said meat is very important for recovery. It was a very delicious meat, 

“Of course i bought them from only the best restaurant.” Leona smirked. 

…Rich guy.

Ruggie brought you his grandma ultimate recipe.

Idia unable to cook decided he will just made you a gaming console for when you are bored. You thanked him. He put a multiplayer game and other game too so the three of you could play together.

Occasionally the faculty member come to visit, 

Crewel would come bringing a potion for your health, he did scolded you for letting your anger control you. But at the same time, he understands why. Mainly he was concerned for his child pup

Trein would check up on you occasionally sneakily giving you treats, anything for his ehem favorite adopted grandchild student. 

Vargas patted you on the back trying to console you and occasionally visit you too, he noticed how small you look and can’t to want to protect you. “Next time there is any problem just call daddy! And i will be there in an instant!” He boomed with his white shining teeth. He really could an actor in a toothpaste commercial.

Sam was filled in on what’s happening after crewel came in eyebrow burrowed, smelling of tabacco and demanding the finest bottle of wine. He felt pity for his favorite child costumer. He visited you bringing you trinkets and candies from all around the island, he said its free of charge and that not to mind it since he was giving the candies away anyway, though you suspect he lied about that part. He often patt your head as you pop the snack or candy he brought for you.

The first year would visit you for hours after class it seemed like it has become their hang out place. Right after school ended, they rushed to go to the infirmary. They bring snacks with them and of course the famous Felmer apple juice. They would bring today's notes to you and do homework together, play game together, or any other stuff to cheer you up. 

The lot of them made you feel better though you are still saddened about not being able to see your family, you have to agree with Crowley that the family you have in NRC is heavenly for you.  

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Finally come the day you are discharged. 

The dorm planned a party for your recovery of course with the permission of the teachers. They bring all sorts of food and drinks. You enjoyed everything, their laughter, their pranks, the way they joked, the way they care for you and one another. Everything made the hollow in your heart to fill up.

“Now are we ready for the main event!” Azul announced.

“Eh main event?.. what is that.. i was not aware..” you whispered to grim.

“Hehehe! Just wait and see henchman!”

“We sure are!” They cheered, their eyes were glinted with mischief and wickedness.

“Introducing the flaming pest!” Lilia cheered as he flew above and lifted the sheet covering the stand.

It was Crowley tied to a wooden pole as stack of hay was stuffed in his surrounding. 

“What.. what!! HEY!! Released me this instant!!”  He screamed. 

“Whats the meaning of this! I expect better from you housewarden!! Crewel! Trein! Vargas! Sam! Save me!!”

He was meet with a smirk. Crewel raised the wine glass to his mouth as he sip the succulent wine. “ may you rest in pieces.” The two other laughed. Trein just smirked silently and sip his wine ready to watch the beautiful flaming pyre. 

“NOOOOO!!!” 

All of them jeered and laughed. You could only find your self in a state of shock amazed of house brilliant and caring your friends are, you are brought to tears.

“Ah y/n is crying!”

“Why are you crying dearie.”

“It must’ve because of that bird!” 

“I DID.. Nothing .. at least now.” Crowley defended himself.

“No it’s not it, it’s just.. I'm just touch at how caring and lovely you are.” You are meet with couple embrace from the first year group whom had stayed by your side. 

“What a heartfelt sight you truly have a gift to bring people together. BUT NOT THE RIGHT TIME NOR THE RIGHT CAUSE! C’mon i am Sorry alright!! Pleasee!” 

“Thank us later once the show has begun, now be amazed!” Jade beamed from your behind holding your shoulder as he lifted your chin up to see the stage. 

“Alright!” 

“Pull the lever!” Ruggie howled.

‘Click!’ 

“No nooo!!” Crowley shouted, he was so very sure he was going to die burning to the death, yet no fire ball come through. A bunch of hay fall through from nowhere, a summoning spell.

Then followed with tons of bags, robes, and coat. Another batch comes tons of hard worked documents., and a sofa.

“Eh..”Crowley was confused about the whole thing, until he realized that all of those stuff was taken from his room and office. 

“NOOO!! My Dioz branded coat! My Guzzi Bagg! MY VALENTINE ROBEE!!! I worked hours for that document pleaseeee. my 8 million thaumark couch!

“Set them on fire!” Kalim cheered

“YEAYYYY!!” 

Carter was filming the whole thing. He will send the video to idia to render for high quality and will distribute them to those attending including the teachers. 

Each dorm were given a chemical to throw into the fire,

The Heartslabyul were given Lithium to turn the fire colour red.

The Savannaclaw were given Sodium to turn the fire colour yellow.

The Octonaville were given Caesium to turn the fire colour bright purple.

The Scarabia were given Radium to turn the fire colour bright red.

The Pomefiore were given Potassium to turn the fire colour darker purple.

The Ignihyde were given Indium to turn the fire colour Blue

The Diasomnia were given Boron to turn the fire colour green.

This of course is conducted safely. The idea comes from both Rook and Trey with the approval of Crewel who is also supervising them in this event.

“NOOOOOOOI!!!!!! Stop stop!! Burn me instead nooooo!” Crowley struggle two times the effort but to no attempt. Leona and jack had made sure that the ropes tightly dig into the headmage body. 

“ARGHHHHH!!” The headmage felt utterly despair as he too faint from shock.

You are mesmerized by the different colour that flashed by the pyre.

The whole party cheered. The bags, coats, and robes completely turned to ash.

Everybody had the same thought in their head. 

‘Serve him right for messing with y/n.’

You grow silent again for a after cheering as reality seep in on you.

“Hmm what’s wrong, are you not satisfied with the display?” Jack concerned voice brought attention from the rest of the group. 

“No it’s just.. since i will be here forever i don’t know where to go after i finished with my studies. I can’t do magic so i am practically useless in this world.”

“What are you saying henchmen! You and i will be together forever i am the one who could cast magic and you shall be the brain!”

“Yes and besides I wouldn’t mind if you take the last name Roseheart if you would allow. I will forever protect and i will provide you with anything you want. I will be a lawyer you see! You will be living the best of your life with me. And grim too of course. Besides i need to take responsibility for giving you, your first kiss.” Riddle instantly offered.

Your brain short circuited. “Huh… eh..” 

Did you just got proposed?!

No way right?!

“NO WAY! Y/N you should take Ashengrotto instead you see i will be the next biggest billionaire! You wouldn’t need to worry about penny of what you want to spend, unlike a lawyer who need to rely on a client to earn living. And frankly, CPR does not count as a kiss!” he sneered

“What do you mean by that huh?!”

“No, y/n you should come to briar valley instead! You could marry one of my son, i have options anyone you choose would guarantee to provide you with the best, Malleus will be king of briar, my other two will become a royal guard! Although i wouldn’t mind if you want to spend your days with my last years.” Lilia claimed.

“F-father.. but y/n its true i will provide you the best I could.” Red tint his cheeks.

“YES! I don’t care if you are a human, you are truly the best of best, i would be honoured if you are willing to spend your days with me.” Sebek blabbered blush. 

“Y/n would you consider, you shall be the queen of briar valley and i your king. We shall spend our moment with joy, i guarantee your safety and riches.” Malleus confidentially proclaimed red tinted his ears.

“Hah, and what lock her up in that dark gloomy tower of yours? Y/n you should ignore these guys. Come with me and become y/n kingscolar, your good friend ‘Tsunatarou’ are not the only one with a royal blood. Come with me, i will ensure twice what they offer. Be my queen herbivore.” Leona smirked extending his hand. He might sound pompous but the red tint on his face says otherwise.

“No, you might be royalty, but the al asim family possess riches compared to a royalty! And Kalim is the heir of al-asim! You should come to scalding sands instead!”

Jamil shouted, yes he just promoted his best friend, but who to say you can’t have an affair with him. 

“Yes! Yes!” Kalim agreed

“No way! Your family is riddled with murder attempts the leeches are guaranteed to be veryyyy secured! Shrimpy won’t need to be cautious when eating their food nor do they need to sleep with one eye open.” Floyd smirked. 

“Yes you could chose the either of us, but in all honesty i dont mind sharing with my brother you see, we always share out stuff anyway.” Jade laugh into his hand like a proper gentleman he was.

You never would have thought to see the leech brother blushing but here you are, 

“I am a renowned actor! The number one barchelor in the entire island! You should take my hand instead! I will promise you fame and glory! You will be rich and beautiful, you shall be my queen.” Vil too joined in with a blush to his face.

“Heh all actor have expiry date you know.” Leona tease

“What do you mean by that?”

“He meant when you are all wrinkly and old!”

Ortho tease, the gremlin inside of him seemed to have awakened.

“I am still far from that age! I am not old!!”

“But you depend on it.” Ortho teased again.

“Oh truly marvelous! But y/n I wouldn’t mind if you choose to go as Schoenheit, I too have to propose for you to take the name hunt, I promise to protect you and guide you till the day we have to separate naturally.” Rook proclaimed.

“Rook.. you dare betray me..”vil was once again shocked.

“You shouldn’t shock since you saw what was under my room wallpaper, and me as your supplier.”

“Huh.. that made perfect sense.” Vil sigh.

“Y/N .. w-would you go to S.T.Y.X with me! I know i might not be much, but i assure you! Styx have the best protection, they even manage to beat all of these housewarden. I want to rule styx with you… uhmm thats too cheesy!! The point is!! I would like to offer the shroud last name if you allow me to be with you!!!” Idia stammered. His hair tip turned pink as he fiddle with his fiddle with his fingers out of nervousness.  

“Yes y/n! We would have a lot of fun adventuree!” 

“Absolutely not.. not in a chance i’d let that happen.” The overblot boys yelled.

“SHADDAP!! It's not your choice its theirs!” He yelled.

“ARGHHH… ya kno, the bunch of ya! Not everythin is about richesss! Y/n! We could build our Felmer farm together! And I will take care of ye for the rest of ma days! I vowed to ya!” Epel declared! Face flushed red both from anger and rage.

“The Bucchi name would look good on you y/n. I promised to find any means to provide for us! And even if you don’t I don't mind if you want to have an affair with me, i can share!” Ruggie assert himself.

“Or me in that case! I promised to protect you as long as I can breathe, I may not have a mountain of riches but i will ensure a peaceful calm life for the both of us. What do you say y/n would you take the howl name?” Jack continued. 

“Y/n I may not have much as well, but I can ensure you a fun and on going life! I will provide for you! All you need to do is give cay- cay lots of love ok? And I promise you everything and the name diamond.” Carter too extended his hand.

“My family have a bakery and my sibling, and my parents are a very lovely and warm people! My parents and siblings loved you already! I will vow to be there for you always to the end of days, to provide for you in sickness and in health.” Trey fixed his glasses in nervousness, yet he delivered his message perfectly. 

“NO! Y/n! MY MOM LOVED YOU ALREADY! She kept going on and on about when you are going to visit! You don’t need to worry about horrible mother in law!! She adored you just as i have come to adore you… i-if you are willing to take the spade name.”

“No way! They would not last with somebody with the brain of a peanut! Y/n i will climb to the top of top! And provide you with everything there is in the world! How about that? Will you take the Trapolla name.” Ace too declared.

“So who would you choose?” 

“LIKE HELL I’D GIVE MY PRECIOUS PUP TO YOU BRAT! Wolves! STAY AWAY! Y/n will you become my child instead! Here you can sign your name here and here! I will provide you! And if you want a job you could be my exclusive model for my brand!” Crewel wave his riding crop to shoo away your barchelor as he hovers you and adoption paper.

“Teacher we too can find y/n a promising job! Away, no harrassment shall befell them!” Some of the students argued.

“I jest, y/n you should come with me! I have experience with kid. You shall be taken care of with the outmost dignity. I have enough to provide for everyone.” Trein claimed.

Vargas and sam are satisfied to be the strong protective and the spoiling uncle, yet they found themselves offering you the same offer.

“I own a family business far and wide and mysterious, i will tell you all about it if you sign here and here.”

“I will protect you from all the troubles amd boys! Over my head body!” 

“Whoa, you manage to make the students fight one another and the teachers too! Such power you have, henchman.”

You are left a blubbering mess.. 

“Huhhhhh!!!!!!” 

“Don’t worry the great Grim will choose the most perfect eligible barchelor for you! You don’t mind anybody right?!”

“A..AA ….”

“Okk! such trouble this henchman brough me" Grim smirked

And hence the chaos ensued.

Though, it is safe to say that Crowley would not dare to pull something as such or mess with you again. Reports said he had become more diligent and responsible to his work. Such trauma you caused him.

So, whose hand will you take, my dear?

[Words 9219]

» End «

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

[A/N]

This is by far the longest fic I had written 9219 words?! YIPPEE

taglist: @neufora @shironakuronatasa

[m2ok]

Golden Salvation Pt.2

pt. 1 Pt.2

cowboy!Ghost x m! reader

A/N: There will be one more part to this just to wrap everything up :)

Your pulse thundered in your ears as the stranger loomed closer, hand gripping lethal iron at his hip. Fight or flight instincts kicked into overdrive - this was no ordinary burglary; you could see it etched in every predatory line of his body.  

This man had come for blood, your blood.  

Slowly, you raised your hands in a gesture of peace even as your mind raced. One wrong move and you’d be pushing up daisies come morn. These were the dark shadows Simon lived in, the enemies he’d made through his notorious work. And now they were coming for him...through you.  

.“Don’t want no trouble, mister,” you said, keeping your tone calm and even like you didn't know why this man was here. As if there could be any other reason for someone to break into a home as dingy as your own. “Just a simple bartender is all – barely got a dollar to my name”  

This snake didn't need to know how deep your bond with Simon went, especially since hiding your relationship was the only way you could see to get out of this situation.  

The man cackled at your words, rolling his eyes as the smile dropped and he stalked closer to the bed, aiming the gun at you as he cocked it back with a sickening crack.  

“ Mhm... as if you weren't all nice and cozied up to him not mere hours ago – ya really think im gonna believe you?” He gave you a mocking grin 

 “No no im not stupid sweetheart. Im not here to collect any of his debts from you – I care more about the eight men o’ mine your Ghostie killed. Those boys were my family, he didnt think twice about that though when he shot em’ dead where they stood. Figure I should make him feel the same hurt I do, hm?”  

“You won’t hurt him none-” You tried to reason “His heart don't belong to me, he won’t spare a second glance past this cabin. Hell, He's probably halfway across the desert by now” Your voice was shaky as you spoke, lies seeping through your lips at the risk of your life. You knew what you meant to Simon, no one else was able to get into his space as you did- at least not if they wanted to walk away with their life.  

The man's smirk dropped, new anger burning in his eyes as the grip on his gun tightened, “I saw the way that mongrel looked at you, you’re his boy and that's clearer than any mountain river” he scoffed, finger moving from the side of the gun to rest on the trigger.  

You closed your eyes, praying in your head, but not to any god. No, your prayers were aiming for Simon's rescue, praying that he would somehow know you were in trouble and come rescue you from it. 

Simon sat astride his horse on a dusty ridge, watching the moon rise silver over the desert wastes. A half-smoked cigarette dangled idly from his lips; he’d been nursing the same thoughts over and over since dusk fell heavy as a shroud across the badlands.  

 Thoughts of you.  

Somewhere deep in his gut, an uneasy feeling roiled. Like an invisible string tugging at his soul, trying to tug him back the way he came. Simon growled low in his throat, frustrated with his own foolish longings. You’d made your stance clear – this life wasn’t for you, not truly. And he had no right to ask you to join him.  

And yet... 

A crack suddenly split the still night air. So faint and far that any lesser man may have missed it entirely, but not Simon.  

In an instant he was vaulting onto his horse’s back, boots pounding twin paths in the dirt as they flew towards the distant lights of your little town. Another shot rang out, louder now, and Simon’s blood turned to ice in his veins.  

He knew that sound – deep in his bones he knew something was horribly wrong.  

Choking the reins in a near stranglehold, Simon rode as if all the demons of hell were nipping at his horse’s hooves. Towards you. Towards salvation or damnation, he did not know. But by God, no son of a bitch was gonna harm one hair on your head if he could still help it.  

Help was coming- you just had to hold on.  

The man fired the gun, a sharp sting hitting your side before it blossomed into agonizing pain. You let out a pained cry, one hand instinctively going to land on your wound while the other covered your mouth to muffle your sobs. Your hand was soon coated in dark crimson, entire body shaking with adrenaline as the man cocked the gun once more.  

“Was gonna just end you, but I figured I should make this painful the same way he did. Should fill you with so many bullets he won’t be able to recognize you” he hissed, aiming the gun at your other side.  

Simon was little more than a blur of dust and primal fury as he crashed through the remains of your splintered front door. For a split second, time seemed to freeze – taking in the scene with a single, piercing gaze.  

You,curled onto the bed clutching a bloody wound. And him. That snake. Gun pressed sickeningly against your body as he spewed his venomous threats. With an almost guttural roar, Simon’s Colt leapt into his hand like it was part of his very being. Two blooming shots rang as one; his aim was true as bible scripture.  

The intruder pitched backwards, scarlets blossoms exploding from where his eyes once were. He was dead before he hit the floor.  

But Simon saw none of it. Already he was at your side, tatty serape ripped and pressed desperately against your weeping injury. Brown eyes wild and scared met your own, and for a moment the steely outlaw facade slipped entirely.  

“Darlin’...” he choked, voice thick. “Talk to me, baby. Stay with me now, ya hear?” Working frantically to stem the flood, Simon tangled scarred fingers gently through your hair, anchoring you to this world with his touch alone. 

“That’s it…keep breathin’, just keep breathin’” His voice dissolved into ragged prayers mere ghosts could hear. Help was still minutes away - but for now, you had Ghost. And he’d be damned before he let the reaper take you from him. 

You were sobbing, your brain mangled with confusion and fear as the adrenaline ran out and the full pain of the bullet lodged in your abdomen had you reeling, 

Red painted everything around you, hands, clothes, and sheets underneath you drenched in it. 

“Simon-” you rasped, breathing labored as you looked around with wide eyes at the gruesome scene in front of you. It was too much, you could feel your head going light- brain fuzzy and ears ringing as you fought not to close your eyes. 

“It hurts” you choked, trying to shove his hand away from where he was pressing down on the wound to stop the torrent of blood flowing out. “Simon I cant-” you said, throat raw from the sobs that came out. 

You wanted so badly to stay with him, to be able to wake up tomorrow with him, but you didn’t know if you’d get that with the way you felt your strength leave your body.

“It hurts- it hurts” You were almost begging, for what you didn’t know. You just wanted the pain to go away. 

You were terrified- not ready to die yet, and especially not like this, not when you had so much left to do. The thought alone sent a new set of tears streaming down your face, hand shaking- clutching the bleeding wound on top of Simon’s own to try and ebb the pain that burrowed deep in your skin. 

Simon felt his world crumbling as your agonized crimes tore through him, sharper than any bullet ever could. Seeing you in such anguish ripped open a fissure in his battered heart, letting the demons of his deepest guilt and self-loathing spill forth in a torrent. 

“I know, baby, I know it hurts…” he choked, pressing you close as if trying in vain to absorb your pain into himself. His own broad shoulders shook with ghosts of rage and grief, tears cutting rivulets through the dirt caked on his cheeks. 

Goddamn it all, he should’ve been here. Should have followed his instincts and never left your side. Now it may be too late to hope for forgiveness, your blood staining his hands a brand of failure he could never outrun. 

“Please, darlin’, please hold on…’ Simon begged, voice breaking as he spoke. His bandana was wrung out and useless now - in desperation he moved to cradle you fully, applying trembling pressure with his bare hands and what remained of his coat. 

Distantly he heard the clatter of the approaching horses, but paid them no heed. You were fading, slipping away before his eyes, and all the strength and guns in the world couldn’t stop it. 

“Don’t ye leave me now…I can’t do this world without ya…” A broken whisper, barely audible above the thunder in his ears. Simon pressed his forehead to yours, sharing the same ragged breaths, two souls more tangled than any root or vine. Hanging on a blade’s edge against the dark. 

You stared up into Simon's eyes, eyebrows cinched in pain and eyes soaked with fear. 

“I don’t wanna die, Simon” you whispered, voice shaky as you clung to him - like he alone could save you from this fate. 

You could feel your heartbeat slowing, breathing ragged as you gasped for air that just wouldn’t enter your lungs….

Soon enough the doctor burst into the room, medical kit in hand as he came barreling over to you. He very carefully took you out of Simon’s arm with some convincing, to lay you back on the bed before he opened up his kit. 

He handed you a flask filled with whiskey “You’re gonna want to drink this - it’ll help ease the pain” He said. 

With shaky hands you drank the bottle, a scream ripping from your lungs as the man began to carefully dig into the wound, grabbing hold of the bullet with sterile tweezers before carefully pulling it free. 

With practiced care he cleaned the wound, a harsh whimper leaving your lips at the sting of pain before the wound was stitched up and bandaged. 

You were shaking, sobbing so hard your throat was raw and your lungs burned - the pain was unbearable and a large part of you wished you could just die to get away from it. 

The doctor had you drink another flask, the alcohol numbing the pain receptors in your brain just enough to allow you to fall into a light sleep. 

Simon sat vigil at your bedside through what felt like hours, not letting go of your limp hand once. Your cries of pain echoing loud and endlessly in his mind, driving spikes of pure anguish deep into his soul.

He watched in heavy silence as the doctor worked, breath caught tight in his chest, hardly daring to hope. But then - your ragged breaths evened out, color returning sluggishly to waxen cheeks. Alive. You were alive. 

It was nearly two hours later when the man was done, wiping his hands on a rag as he stood up on shaky legs. 

“He’s stable” The doctor said simply

Choking back sobs of relief, Simon buried his face in the crook of your neck, leaving a trail of gratitude-laced kisses amongst salty tears. “That’s it, darlin’...you fight. Got too much left to do in this world.” he’d whisper to you, voice so soft only you could hear

 “Most important thing now is cleaning that wound twice a day lest it get infected. If it does…” The doctor ordered, his words trialing off though his intentions were clear. He put down a set of bandages and cleaning solution on the nightstand for Simon’s use. 

“It’ll take a long time to heal, I reckon” The doctor said “but my work is done here, y’all know where to reach me should he take a turn for the worst” He said, tilting his hat to Simon before he gathered his tools and headed out of the shabby cabin. 

Simon took the doctor's words as gospel, nodding along to every word before the man left. He spent the next few hours cleaning up the mess that was now your little home. He dragged the body out back to deal with fully in the morning, cleaned your sheets and changed you into new clothes, boarded up the broken window, and finished by fixing the door that he had come barging through. 

His own hands were gentle as churches doing their appointed duty, cleansing and dressing the angry wound each time without fail. Whatever it took to coax your stubborn spirit back to the land of the living. 

Days bled into each other without notice. All that mattered to him now was you. And slowly, so slowly - full color seeped back, fever broke its hold. Eyes fluttered open to meet his own once more, full of pain but oh-so-blessedly alive. 

“Hey there, sunshine…” Simon whispered hoarsely, like a parched man dying of thirst at an oasis. Finally, finally, he allowed himself the ghost of a weary smile. 

You were going to be alright. And by God, he’d spend his last days making sure of it. 

You slowly sat up, a soft whine leaving your lips with the movements as you aggravated the still raw wound. “Simon” you mumbled as you held his hand, reaching over to take a swig of the whiskey on the nightstand to ease the searing pain. 

You rested your head back against the pillows with a soft sigh. It had been a few days now, and the pain was still a dull yet constant ache in your side. 

You took the sight around you in, everything was clean and neat including your bedding and clothes. Even the floor had been mopped, the only reminders of your near death being the hole in your side. 

“Simon you did all this?” You asked simply, eyes wide as you gazed up at him. 

Simon huffed a soft, weary laugh at your question, gently squeezing your hand just to make sure you were really here and he wasn’t hallucinating. 

“Course I did, darlin’. Weren’t about to let ya recover in filth,” He replied gruffly. Truth be told, tending to your every need had been the other thing keeping his demons at bay these long days and nights. 

Keeping busy spared him time to think - and thinking led down paths too bleak to tread. Like how terrifyingly close he’d come to losing you forever.

Holding your gaze with quiet intent, Simon softly brushed calloused knuckles along your cheek “Reckon it’s about time i started pullin’ my weight ‘round here proper. Ain’t no safe place for ya out here alone” A question lingered in the subtle quirk of his brow, the hopeful yet wary gleam in tired eyes. After all that had passed between you both, was there still room for him at your side? A Ghost finally ready to lay his soul to rest, if you’d have him. 

You could only hum softly at his words, sleep still filled in your bones. You didn’t answer him, instead you patted the empty side of the bed “Come sleep next to me, Si. You need the sleep” You said, your words a silent confirmation that you still wanted him. 

Simon gave a soft grunt of approval, too weary in body and soul to do anything but obey your gentle prompting. Careful not to jostle your healing injury, he stretched his long limbs out beside you with a satisfied sigh. 

It felt strange but right, sharing your space in such an intimate way after so long living apart. Like the final piece of a puzzle slipped neatly into place. 

Turning his head, Simon watched you watch him through half-lidded eyes, drinking in every beloved feature as if to confirm this wasn’t some whiskey-fueled dream. Reaching out, he lightly touched the graceful curve of your cheek before letting his hand come to rest against the steady rise and fall of your chest. 

“Sweetest sound there is,” he murmured, voice sleep-roughed and thick with meaning. A tousled head tucked itself beneath your chin with a contented sigh, tension seeping from tense muscles. 

Come what may with the light of dawn, for now all was peaceful. You were alive, you were safe. And against all odds, Simon had finally come home to roost. 

You held him close in your arms, gentle fingers carding through thick hair as you let his head rest against your now steady heartbeat. He needed the comfort, you could tell, and you were more than happy to give it to him. 

“Rest now, Si. I'm not going anywhere. Can’t get rid of me that easy” You assured, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

It was a funny thing, holding such a toughened man in your arms, keeping him close and coddled despite the almost laughable size difference. 

SImon made a low sound of gratitude at your soft reassurance, melting bonelessly into your gentle embrace. Your gentle fingers winding through his hair brought forth a wave of lethargy he’d fought to stave off this long week past. But no more - here in your arms, he was finally allowed to let his guard down. 

It still struck him sometimes how two souls so disparate could fit together so seamlessly. But you’d always had a way of easing even his most ragged edges, soothing demons he thought long beyond taming. Lithe as you were in your current state, your strength ran deeper than any show of force ever could - and he found solace there like nowhere else. 

“Missed this…” he mumbled, so soft it was barely audible even in the stillness enclosing your little world. One arm curled protectively around your middle, thumb brushing idle patterns against the slowly healing wound beneath the bandages. 

A prayer of thanks on parched lips, Simon let weary eyes slide shut. Sleep rose like a gentle tide, carrying him off to oblivion sheltered in the piece of heaven he’d begun to call home. You’d brought him back from the brink of darkness once more, anchor in the storm. And for that, he was eternally grateful. 

[hawkinshorror94]

Hiya! Saw your requests were open for bg3

Could I request something with Astarion proposing to reader? Something really fluffy with maybe a bit of spice at the end?

I hope you like it because this was a really sweet prompt. And I hope I did it justice. Barely proofread

“Darling, have you seen my cufflinks?” Astarion asked from the doorway, you glance over your shoulder with a helpless shrug and you slide your own earrings into place at the vanity. “Oh you’re no help.” He huffed, playfully and dipped back out. 

You turn back to look at your reflection in the vanity, hair in place and make up done nicely. But neither of them would be leaving for dinner if you didn't find his cufflinks. So you began your search, your jewelry box, your vanity, throwing your hands in the air you turn to his bedside table assuming he had tossed them in there after a midnight rendezvous with you perhaps. 

The drawer slides open to reveal a sheathed knife and a long abandoned book. Your hands reach in the very back and feel a velvet box, you frown. 

“What the hells?” You mutter as you pull out the box. Small, black, crushed velvet. You pull the box open to reveal a ring, woven with real elven silver and a deep red ruby nestled into the band. Your heart catches in your throat. 

“Oh shit,” Astarion breathes, he was on his way back into the room when he saw you standing there with the ring. “I see you didnt find my cufflinks.” He was trying to play it off as if the entire proposal hadn’t been blown the second she saw the ring. 

“Astarion,” You look from him to the ring, eyes wide and watery. He looked nervous and he never was nervous, always sure of himself. 

“Will you marry me?” He asks quickly “I had plans on asking you at dinner-” You cut him off by closing the distance quickly, lips smashing against his own, the box still clutched in your fist.

“Yes, of course.” You say when you finally pull back for air, your chest heaving a few stray tears making their way down your cheeks. You had never been so sure about something in your life, spending the rest of your life with him seemed to be the most simple yes ever. 

“You’re ruining your makeup, darling.” He says softly as he thumbs away the tears from your cheeks before slipping the box from your hand and pulling the ring from it. It slipped on your finger with ease, pulling your hand up between the two of you to look at the sparkling ruby in the candlelight. “Do you like it?” Astarion asks, turning your hand in his own watching as the ruby glittered in the different lights. You nod, pulling him back to your mouth to murmur against his cool lips. 

“It’s beautiful” 

Your dress was gathered at your hips as he had you pinned between him and the vanity mirror, your brush and make up strewn on the floor knocked off in his hurry. His cool hands massage the insides of your thighs as he lavishes your neck with attention. An unspoken question in the way his mouth hovers over your pulse point, he assumes the answer when you tilt your head back, your hand twisted into his downy curls. 

You gasp at the feel of his fangs breaching the soft skin of your neck filling your veins with an icy numbness that tingles through your entire body. All the while his deft fingers slip under the lacy of your small clothes, brushing against that hot throbbing little bundle of nerves. He rubs in slow circles as he drinks from your neck, his own stifled moan joining into your cacophony of soft moans and whimpers.

When he leans away, a bit of your blood trickles down his chin and you wipe it away with your thumb pushing it into his mouth and letting him suck the skin clean. He closes his blood drunk eyes as he savors that last bit of sweet ichor. When he reopens his eyes a smirk plays on his features as he drops to his knees to join his fingers making a mess of your soaked cunt. 

“We’re not making it out to dinner, are we?” You ask as he pulls your legs wider apart letting his cool breath ghost over your panties, a languid lick making your back arch off the mirror behind you. 

“Oh we will, my beautiful wife but first I am having dessert.” 

[4pfsukuna]

Match my freak

Who knew arrogant playful and king of unserious antics was a cam boy? But can you match his freak?

Warning: Gojo is the warning. fingering, oral, back shots.

inspired by this, also this and especially this from twitter

part 2 here

“My glorious blue eyed king” you sweet talk into the phone a shrill tone in your voice. Adrenaline had still been pumping through your veins from the loud music of the club— it was supposed to be girls night with your friends. Until someone decided to climb on the speakers, fall and send blood across the floor.

“Flattery gets you everywhere with me” your bestfriend and ⅓ of your friend group rasp into the phone and he sounds slightly out of breath. “So you must want something” he deadpans and you release a dranatic gasp.

“How dare you?” You scoff the banter between you two stirred up so easily. The flash of police lights in the distance lets you know the club wont be opening back up tonight and why take the train an hour back home when he owns a penthouse in the city about 15 minutes away.

“Maybe i just wanted to check on you” you huff adjusting your lip gloss the wind blowing strands of your jet black middle part 30” bundles into it. 

“Mhmm. '' and he doesn't even try to make it sound believable and you shift on your feet the strap of your heels hurting but you refuse to take them off and raw dog the ground barefooted.

“You know— because I'm a good friend.” you add twirling the front layers of your hair around your finger.

“Sure princess” hes rolling his eyes playfully and you hear him shuffling through the phone.

“And i just couldnt imagine you being so lonely in that huge penthouse by yourself” you finally giggle into the phone hearing him chuckle.

“Uber black?” He ask the phone now on speaker and you can hear him typing into the phone.

“This is why youre my glorious blue eyed king” you tease before hanging up knowing your friends were about to start gushing again for the millionth time about how you two should just start dating since you flirted so much. But they just didn't understand your relationship it was similar to how you and Suguru were as well.

The car ride is smooth and he sends nothing but the best, when you arrive the driver opens the door, bids you a good night and only pulls off once he's sure you've made it indoors. Not wasting much time in the lobby you use the keyfob to let yourself up letting Satoru know you were close so he could have the door open.

“You look like a prostitute” he teases the minute he opens the door for you, taking in your outfit— a black mini skirt that exposed almost half of your butt cheeks and the crop top pushed your titties out so much they faced your chin and the heels… it was a suprise you didnt hurt yourself.

that playful demeanor that never dwindles when hes around you but you still punch him hard in his shoulder. 

“Ow! Id pay for you though” and this time he knows the hit is coming so he dodges creating enough distance between you two.

“Please, youre the one who answered the door shirtless bird chest out” you joke back letting your purse strap fall off your shoulder heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

“Just cause you gawk at my 8 pack and muscles doesnt make it a bird chest” he flexes running a hand through his snow white hair sending you a wink.

Before you could answer his phone rings and the black koi fish display picture lets you know it's suguru the 2nd of your friend trio.

“Yeah i gotta take this, you know where my clothes are” he tells you, nodding you setting your purse on the table and plugging your phone up to his charger. You weren’t a stranger to having sleepovers,  stealing his clothes and his whole bed. He actually enjoyed your platonic yet teasing relationship.

heading into his room everything is neatly in place except for his bed sheets and there's a light blue glow coming from his computer screen.

Ready to ignore it until you see your nick name for him on the screen “blue eyed king” and your eyes are instantly locked in on the saved livestream of him holding his dick in his hand. Being the nosy nancy you are you begin scrolling down seeing clips of him with a cock ring on, a vibrator on his tip and even one on some throne. Each video had a large amount of money next to it and some of the video's viewers count almost close to reaching the millions.

Each of them you notice he’s wearing his blind fold maybe to hide his identity, maybe its a kink people have you aren’t able to dwell more on it because his voice breaks your thoughts.

“—top shelf and you cant reach the—“ he stops in his tracks the arrogant smirk on his face falling once he notices what your eyes are on. He freezes completely once he realizes his fuck up hes honestly not even sure how much youve seen and hes ready to begin apologizing but his lips wont move.

You on the other hand have never seen thee Gojo Satoru freeze let alone have a deer in the headlights expression and you want to milk it but you can imagine the thoughts swirling in his head and the way his ears are burning red youd just have to committ it to memory and get him another day.

“Is this why youre so rich?” You ask glancing back at the screen and this time your eye catches the “audio only” tab and questions begin floating in your mind faster than you have time to form a sentence. But he knows you and knows whats coming he doesnt want to talk about it and hear you call him weird or disgusting so he rushes forward trying to play it off.

“Well arent you a peeping tom” his smirk returns as he goes to one of his closets grabbing an old jujutsu high tshirt for you trying to divert your attention but you dont take the bait.

“A peeping tom is someone who watches i was just a nosy nancy” you speak matter of factly before realizing what you said when his smirk broadens as he stands infront of you holding out the shirt and ready to close the screen. He doesnt expect for your hand to reach out and stop him.

“All of the dates are from friday nights, you go live then?” You ask and he tries to shake your hand off when did you get so strong?

“When you and suguru are typically to busy to interrupt” he finally gritts out still trying to keep a cool demeanor. Since this is the last thing he wants to talk about, hes ready to use his other hand but you grab that too the shirt falling on the floor between the two of you.

“Is me being here interrupting?” You ask curiously and his eyes meet your wide eyed curious expression and he hates when you give him that look or got serious with him. He loved the playful banter seriousness was for suguru not you.

“Of course not my first priority is making sure youre okay and safe” he tells you scratching the back of his head, you wish you could record this moment and save it cause gojo acting awkward when you were sure his only personality trait was an arrogant flirtatious know it all.

“So prove it, go live then while i'm here” you taunt and you couldn't blame the alcohol you only had 3 shots and you were sure they've worn off by now this was pure curiosity and a slight bit of arousal. But to Gojo it was a challenge he saw right through you.

“Fine” he shruggs looking at the time making sure it wasnt to late though hes sure hes built his fanbase up enough to the point of them waiting all weekend for him.

“And i want to watch” you tell him taking a seat on the desk looking around his room for a brief moment but his quietness grabs your attention so when your eyes settle back on him and he has his usual arrogant smirk you know hes about to say something stupid.

“Sweetheart if you wanted to see if my cock was really that big in person that was all you had to say” he teases crossing his arms not expecting you to match his stance.

“I do so chop chop glow stick boy and dont be shy. And stop calling it that its a dick” you tease at the cultural difference in the word.

Satoru positions you out of the frame, dims the over head lights adjust his blindfold and starts the live stream an alert going off to his subscribers that hes online.

A particular ding sound catches your attention and you look over seeing people are sending him money with notes.

$5 take it off.

$8 lose the sweats

$9 jerk off through the sweats.

$3 tease us.

$20 to grab it through the sweats.

$15 to show off your happy trail

$40 to say hi princess

$10 to say hi princess

And he chuckles licking his lips. No way he just made $100 and hasn’t even said a word, pretty privilege is real.

“Hi princess” and your mouth waters slightly it was the exact same tone he used with you and although he had a blind fold on you knew he was looking directly at you.

Its not long before his pants are around his ankles and his boners peaking through the cotton gray boxers, a wet stain from the precum as grips himself through his boxer's voice getting heavier with lust.

Its when he hooks his thumb in and lowers it exposing his sculpted  vline even further, then his happy trail that leads to his neatly trimmed white bush and finally his long length with a slight curve and pink oozing tip.

For the first time that night your legs rub together and it doesn’t go unnoticed by satoru. He instead decides to make a show taking longer pumps off his length putting emphasis on his curve and smearing the precum letting out little exaggerated groans.

There's a constant stream of dings before he chuckles heavily and this time you cross your legs a weird stir you’ve never felt before heats up your core listening to how deep his voice is.

“Yeah i am more vocal tonight with— mnnnffff- my groans. I have an audience” he tells his viewers and a few more dings come through.

$10 thats so hot

$50 fuckkkkk imagine being in the room with him.

$51 id pay to be in that room.

$30 why am i hard (im a girl)

“She’s actually the reason I’m streaming tonight so say thank you to her” he admits and the dings start shooting faster

$5 thank you

$37 there is a goddess

$60 thank youuuu

$90 thank you to the blue eyes’ princess

“Look at how much you made” he tells you a silent promise he'd give those tips to you before chuckling at the princess comment. “Shes such a good girl”

And that comment has you rubbing your legs together once more. When did it get so hot in here?

“You ok, princess?” He ask licking his bottom lip slowing down his pace his eyes focused on the thickness of your brown thighs squeezing together. You nod but thats not enough for him. “Come on use your words for me” he stays in character forcing you to speak.

“Yes Toru, i-im okay” your voice is soft and sultry and he definitely has never heard it that low it does something to him and he has to change his focus before this whole thing is over to fast.

 A few more dings ping through at the sound of your voice

$19 she sounds hot

$23 fuck there is another person there

$45 ugh i just know hell talk you thru it

$30 the stutter was so perfect

$50 her voice is so sext

$2 sexy*

$35 she sounds so innocent

“Innocent? She’s anything but! she actually has a cute little but plug in right now” he scoffs before letting spit drop from his lips onto his dick and your fingers grip the seat he takes notice smirking at you now. Your jaw drops and you honestly aren’t sure if its from his action or words.

“Feeling tense over there? You are the one who wanted to watch” he smirks before biting his bottom lip only to stiffle a mosn.

“It looks cute with my skirt!” You snap back wanting to defend yourself but that just sends the dings back in action with pleas to show them the plug.

“No” he immediately tells them not thinking it Would go that far and honestly wanting to respect your boundaries, this wasn’t something the two of you talked about and he wasn’t going to put you on the spot.

But you stand stepping into the view of the camera bending over slightly to show a glimpse of the plug. It's silent between the two of you. The only sound is the dings and comments. The light reflects of the body shimmer on your brown skin perfectly.

He doesn’t realize he’s frozen after you sit down for a moment in complete shock you quite literally showed your ass. A thick bead of precum rest at his tip and he had to take a deep breath to not cum right there.

“She's such a cock tease isn't she” and that spurs you on. You're quick to stand again though before you can get fully in frame Satoru stands black scarf in hand as he ties it around the lower half of your mouth protecting your identity.

The minute he finishes youre bent over, slight arch showing the ring and Gojo decides fuck the comments at this point and the new viewers and subscribers. Sitting on the bed next to you he arches you forward even more now giving a slight view of the wet spot on your cherry red panties.

But your pussy lips are so fat they suck in the fabric giving more of a view though it blocks the ring. Slowly reaching out to grab the string of your thong he notices you don’t even flinch at his fingers brushing your core. He hooks a second finger in sliding down to your lips, knuckles brushing against your clit making you whine slightly.

The sound pulls him from his heaven and his face is instantly lined up with yours.

“Im sorry sweetheart, you don’t have to do this” he quickly apologizes and it dies on his tongue with the eye roll you send him.

“What? I just want to know if i can have the money they send… it’s only fair since its my ass” you ponder making your butt jiggle with a shake of your thighs the dings of money increasing as you prove your point.

Pulling up your mask enough to reveal your lips Gojo leaves a sloppy kiss tongue tangling with yours over you lean back into it.

“Hollow. That’s your safe word. Say it and I’ll stop, okay?” He chases your lips once more sucking on your bottom lip before adjusting your mask and going back to your thong.

Spreading you open, Satoru feels his dick twitch watching the wet sticknyess pull apart on your folds followed by the soft sound it makes.

$38 shes so wet

$57 you can hear the wetness

$50 you can see how wet she is

His fingers trace further down your lips spreading your puffy folds, admiring so much he almost forgets what is happening. He sucks a long digit in his mouth before slowly pressing it into your hole with slight resistance because you’re so tight.

Your soft gasp makes him pull out even slower rubbing the juices on your clit in circles before pressing the digit back in. Having Satorus finger in you wasnt at all how you thought your night would go but as he starts pumping with a particular curl you let out soft moans.

“Your pussy is so pretty and wet princess” he rasp adding a second finger smacking your ass with the other hand. The sharp sting is followed by a soft rub and you can feel yourself getting wetter the more he pumps his fingers. 

He uses his other hand to circle your clit, leaving open mouth kisses on your hip playfully nipping a cheek.

“Mmphhh…fuck toru” you moan softly pushing back slightly on his fingers when he applies a tad bit more pressure to your clit. But theres a slight hesitation to his actions you can tell a part of him is nervous to break the boundary but his fingers are already inside of you.

“Toruuuu please” you whine clenching on his fingers and hes not sure what does it but he begins pumping his fingers faster with more force. Your moans come out louder at a particular curl of his finger making his breathing heavy.

“Tell me how good it feels princess” he demands but there's a slight whine to his voice as if he needs it, needs to hear how good he's doing. Of course he has a praise kink. 

“Sooo good, feels so good” you whine equally as needy he pulls his fingers out popping them into his mouth letting out a groan of his own. He twist his fingers in your core once more before licking all over them savoring your taste.

“I want you to ride my tongue” He husk out, applying a lot more pressure on your clit making you lurch forward the wetness running down your legs now. You nod and he's on his knees in no time head between your legs and tongue licking over your underwear. 

Your leg buckles and hes quick to use the moment as an oppurtunity to place a hand on either cheek massaging and spreading as he devours your clit through your underwear. It was so needy he was at your complete mercy like this and you loved it you could feel the wetness gushing out of you. 

He finally rips your underwear off and latches on to your clit licking, sucking and flicking his tongue while pushing another finger in your core.

“Fuck toru” you whine the pleasure shooting through your whole body a hand sinking into his hair with a light grip which only spurs him on. 

“Taste so good” He moans watching you from his spot beneath you before leaving two sharp smacks on your left cheek groaning at your wetness.

Adding two more fingers before he begins to move faster the squelching sounds increase and when his long slender fingers hit a spongy spot inside of you, your legs buckle.

“You gonna cum for me?”he asks and you know this little pervert knows there's a teasing tone in his voice that never leaves no matter how horny he is. You love it!

“T-toru im—nghh” your body clenches as the first orgasm of the night builds up your hands tightening up in his hair “fuuuuuck” you moan, the juices dripping down his face but he keeps going letting you ride through your orgasm.

His fingers slow down enough for you to catch your breath and when you turn to face the monitor you catch sight of him pumping his dick in his hand. He hasnt stopped licking though instead now hes licking up every drop of your juices messily and its smearing on his face down to his chin and chest.

The sight has your mouth watering again and this time you grind against his tongue at a slow pace and his hands slow down to match your grind. His tongue trails down to your hole thrusting in and out and when you grind faster his fist pumps faster his groans becoming louder and frequent borderlining whimpers. Its when his tongue slips even further back dancing across the plug that you yank him by his hair.

“Toru!” Your voice cracks and his chuckles vibrate against your core in typical Gojo fashion to laugh at everything.

“Mmmm sorry princess, got carried away” his muffled voice speaks, devious tone in his voice still. His hands reach up to pull your skirt and underwear down but he ends up tearing them both off in the process along with your shirt as he stands up.

“Sorry princess” he repeats though this time before you can process his mouth latches onto a brown nipple swirling a tongue around it as he pinches the other pulling a moan from you switching nipples and repeating the process.

Slowly sitting on the bed he turns you pulling you back up against his chest and props your legs up so the camera has a perfect view of what hes about to do.

$30 ive already came 3 times

$10 hes usually a dom but subbing 4 her

$17 are they both switches

$60 theyre giving us more!

$65 her pussy is so pretty

$8 this is my last $8

$13 is she a switch too?

He chuckles wrapping a hand around your neck fingers trailing back down to your clit as he uses his middle finger hes watching the camera and it seems like hes watching the camera but hes really watching you. The way your brows furrow, your eyes alternate between fluttering and squeezing shut has him in a trance, you were so responsive and hes waited so long for this hes not sure if he should take it slow or completely slut you out.

Pushing a finger in your core angled at that spongey spot a loud squelch has your hips bucking into his palm with a long drawn out moan that goes straight to his dick. Using his hand on your neck he forces your head to stay directed at the screen and watch yourself as he picks up speed pumping harder.

“You look so pretty spread out and open for me like this” he praises, kissing the side of your head before his lips trace down to your ear nibbling and groaning in it, sending another shock of pleasure to your core, making you clench.

He's reveling in having you this close feeling the heat of your gorgeous brown skin contrasting against his pale skin, the way your hands are gripping onto him the way your eyes float from watching him through the screen to looking down between your legs.

“Oooh you got wetter when i moaned in your ear, you like that? Or is the praise” he ask grinning when your hips lift to buck into his hand again. You wrap a hand around his bicep nails digging in lightly as you try to adjust the pleasure building to much and too quickly, but he removes his hand from your neck and pushes your hips down slapping your clit.

You're losing your mind equally as much as him, his cool hard chest pressed into your back, the rich yet light scent of his expensive cologne and the way his soft lips are never off your skin for long. The attraction had always been there but never acted on it for unknown reasons. You were contempt with keeping him as a friend and if that meant being a cam girl and receiving endless orgasms for tonight and never talking about it again you were completely fine with that

“Keep being a good girl for me baby,” he rasp out picking up speed. “Your pussy is so fucking perfect, so tight and gushy i cant wait to feel you.”

The knot begins to build in you at your words your hips with a mind of their own and he slaps your clit twice more. He knew exactly what to say, exactly how to talk you through it without being overly aggressive. Dare you even call him a soft dom.

“Youre so gorgeous, you smell good—“ he breathes in your hair. “Taste good” and he licks down your neck.

“Sound good” and he thrust his fingers harder into your spongey spot making the squelching louder and a “fuck” falls from your lips.

“Your my good girl, my perfect fucking girl” and you feel his hips begin grinding into you from behind your hips trying to match his along with his thrust leaving you a stuttering mess. 

Your mind and legs were equal parts mush from hearing him say that alone and it's suddenly clear why he had audio clips as well, he would do such a good job at talking anyone through it with the constant praise with the perfect amount of sluttyness to it.

“I want you to cum for me princess, show daddy how hard you can cum all over my fingers. I want this pretty pussy to gush for me” he stutters slapping your clit as he thrust harder and faster not caring about your hips anymore because he had a firm grip and knew what was coming.

When your nails dig in one arm and tries to push the other away he chuckles slapping your clit even harder.

“T-toru i— nnghhh. Im g-gonna…” you whine throwing your head back feeling your whole body lock up this time feeling different from the first.

“Yeah baby? Gonna cum for me go ahead show me how pretty you look wh—“ his words are cut off by you squirting your whole body shaking as you do and he cant stop fingering you through it enjoying the way youre wetting up his hands and legs.

“Oh fuck! Feels so—FUCK” and youre gushing even more before the prior one even had time and being the bully he is satoru doesnt spare you he slaps your clit harder listening to your voice get so high. 

“Toru i-i cant… i cant” you whine But youre getting to close to the edge of the bed from sliding that he has to pull you back yet he doesnt stop hes already decided he wants to fucking ruin you, overstimulate you sol when you think about it in the future you cum from the thought.

“Cant whaaaaat?” He drags out turning his slaps into rubs on your clit but the speed is still there and from the way your eyes are rolling into the back of your head he has no intentions on slowing down.

“I cant take it… fuck… i” you breathe nearly choking trying to escape his grasp but he holds you tighter watching as your brows furrow in pure pleasure body convulsing “i cant” you dry sob

“You crying?” He chuckles, slowing down slightly but it doesn't matter, his fingers are still twisting inside of you in ways that you're sure is a way to pull your soul from your body.

“You can take it and you will cum one more time for me and i promise to stuff you full of my cock” and thats the magic words because you're gushing on his fingers again at shock of how much could actually come out of your body.

“You did so good baby, ‘m gonna give you what you want” he promises propping up two pillows and positioning you on your belly on top of them smiling at the way youre to weak to move which was his plan. Satoru loved your friendship as much as you did, loved you as much as suguru but had you given him the chance to fuck your he’d make it worth your time he just couldn’t be childish and jackrabbit or even cum to quick. 

He also knew you were to competitive and dominant if you felt like he was fucking you to intenseley youd fuck back and the thought has had hin cuming in his hand in under 5 minutes multiple times. Rubbing his tip against your folds a few times he watches as your slick covers his tip and if this was a dream he’d want to die in his sleep.

“My pillow princess” he chuckles though before you can retaliate hes sliding all 8 inches in filling you to the brim and his fingers wrap around to find your clit again making your jaw drop and eyes roll back.

“Fuck baby, your pussys so—nnghh” he groans thrusting slow but deeply he slightly repositions trying not to cum to quick but fuck you were so warm and squeezing him so tight he was glad he gave you so many orgasms earlier cause if you had the energy to flirt the way you typically do hed be done for.

Satoru also wasn't what you expected during sex, you aren't sure what you expected, maybe more teasing aggressiveness… you aren't sure but he was definitely a lover. He was soft, diligent, took his time and definitely made sure to please. 

“Keep that perfect arch for me” he groans leaning his head back when you sink more into the arch and meet his thrust. Your ass jiggling on him with the feeling of you gushing on him was too much and he needed you to cum before he did.

Licking up your spine tattoo he leaves a bunch of open mouth kisses before leaning forward completely grabbing your neck. He begins moaning the most filthiest stuff in your ear and you swear you see stars at his dirty talk.

“Want you to cum all over this dick, its yours mama. Cum all over your dick make a mess for me” he whines his voice higher than before and you know hes close the thought alone is enough to make you release on his fingers. A kiss is placed against your head and you feel him smile with satisfaction before fucking into you deeper than before.

“Fuck toru” you scream nails digging into his hand which doesnt stop him theres only one thing that could but from  the way you clenched for the hundreth time tonight it didnt seem as if youd be using that word.

“I love hearing you moan my name, makes me want to fill your pussy up with my cum. You w-want that?” He talks louder and yes you do want that.

“Harder toru harder” you beg feeling your body begin to lock up again at the thought and his hips stutter for a moment before letting out a rough laugh but giving you exactly what you want.

“Fuck im about to… cum with me princess, give me everything you got baby fuck your pussy feels so good! So tight and you keep gripping me tighter! I want to feel you cum baby please cum on me” he babbles clearly pussy drunk and somewhere along the way overstimulated himself his rhythm so sloppy now unable to stop his rambling.

“Fuck tell me its mine tell me youll cum for me”  he whimpers and you pull his by his hair to your lips kissing him through the mask squeezing youre core as tight as you can

“Yours” you moan out the second you cum feeling him cum right behind you and its sooo much and so warm as it fills you up you cant stop bucking into his hand from the sensation. He collapses next to you grabbing the camera from the night stand and switching from the computer monitor.

He doesn't say anything except breathes heavy and scoops some of the cum that spilled out and pushes it back into you with his middle finger. The scene sends off more dings and he chuckles.

The next time your eyes open you feel something wet between your legs and almost use the safe word until you notice its just a warm rag between your legs wiping you down.

“Its just me you did so good princess”  you hear Gojos voice purring as he rubs your legs. “So good for me, youre so perfect” 

The praises ring out and all you can do is have a lopsided grin on your face as you bask in the praise of the glorious blue eyed king. He leaves a kiss on your forehead climbing into bed next to you and wrapping an arm aroubd your body pulling you close and away from the wet spot.

Snuggling into him he hums kissing your head again, his hand coming down to massage your lower back. The sound of scattered dings makes your eyes open and he uses a remote to turn the stream off and the computer monitor while pulling off your mask.

He actually doesn't stop kissing your head and cheeks aftercare obviously a strong suit for him amongst everything else.

“I knew you werent rich cause of your brains… its your dick” you smirk peaking with one eye and watching as he smirks pulling off his blindfold showing his bright blue eyes.

“So you think i give good dick?” He ask arrogant smile on his face earning an eye roll but theres a teasing smile on your face.

“Princess?” He ask as you roll over to the other side letting out an exaggerated yawn. 

“Was that a no?” You hear him ask and you let out a giggle.

It's silent for a moment before You feel the tip of his dick at your entrance and shutter when he slowly pushes in the two of you moaning in sync.

“Call me your glorious blue eyed king and ill think about taking it easy on you” he groans in your ear with a small thrust. Wrapping an arm around the back of his neck and pushing back he lets one hand find a nipple and the other your clit.

“You have such a filthy mouth” you tell him remembering everything he said as you reach down to caress his balls making his hips stutter,

“Fuck… keep doing shit like that and im never leaving this pussy” he whimpers as your hand keeps massaging, fucking you a bit faster. He cups your clit grunting before flipping you on your back and throwing a leg over his shoulder leaning forward so your face to face.

“Tell me how good i feel wrapped around you” you demand wrapping your other leg around his shoulder and locking your ankles behind his neck. He closes his eyes for a second trying not to lose his mind and go absolutely feral at the way your core just opened up for him with that motion but fuck…

“Hope you like lunch because the way im going to fucking you were not going to wake up in time for breakfast.”

“Mmmm my glorious blue eyed king” you tease watching his eyes glow a little bit brighter.

Well if you made it this far shout out to you this is actually going to be a mini series about satoru suguru and reader becoming poly they actually can all be read as stand alones for my adhd girls/gays/theys and thems and will hold a recap/intro paragraph that explains what lead up to the moment even though i know were all really just here for the smut.

[morownic]

you found your house, but where’s your home?

Japan was home to your childhood and the innocence you had lost a long time ago, and there was no way you would taint it with your deep, irremediable sorrow. You were never going back there. You were never going back home. (Have you ever had one?)

warnings/tags: NSFW MDNI (graphic descriptions of drug use, overdose, and blood; non-graphic smut), non-ultraman AU, afab + fem pronouns, non-graphic descriptions of a car accident, suicidal ideation

prev. // next — series masterlist · my other works · ao3

a/n: still written in the big spirit of oh no (tbh i was kinda convinced this song is practically gonna be the theme song for this series lmfao) + big influence of the breach + maps. this took a month to finish because i was in the trenches and my laptop broke lol thats why i didnt proofread and the ending is kinda ehh as well. i hope there are still people reading this though </3

Blues and purples washed over the crowd of college students as the party reached full swing. Music thumped in your chest as if it wanted to replace the beating of your heart, and drunken chatter rang in your ears as if they wanted to replace the voices in your head. Your eyes swept over the room, looking for a familiar face to ground yourself in the midst of your high. Some people greeted you as you made your way through the sea of bodies. Even though you failed to recognize most of them, you practically bounced as you greeted back and asked for their names and majors, complimenting them on their appearance and making small talk before moving on to the other person that had approached you. Mirth ran through your veins, so much so that it caused nausea to bubble in the depths of your stomach, as you kept moving from one conversation to another without so much as taking a breath and moving around with a twitch every now and then and a restlessness that slowly built up your exhaustion. When you finally saw Harley, your roommate, you gave the last person who spoke to you a jovial goodbye and a giddy side-hug before making your way toward her.

If you weren’t coked out of your mind, you would have immediately noticed the look on her face as she realized that you were not sober. Disappointment, concern, horror. You merely offered her the widest smile you could wear as you downed whatever the content of your cup was. The bitterness and burn of alcohol didn’t even make you flinch, and at that moment, you wondered if you should have heeded the sign that you gotta stop yourself now. Harley, on the other hand, looked at you as if you had just grown another head in front of her.

“Are you serious?”

Still, in your state, you couldn’t register her anger just yet. You were just confused as to what she was referring to as your smile slowly morphed into a frown. “What?”

“God, I thought you’ve been clean for–” Harley was momentarily interrupted by someone tapping on her shoulder, to which she responded with a rather aggressive ‘Give me a fucking minute!’ before she turned back to you. “You’re fucked. You’re really fucked.”

You were still puzzled, but your own indignation was starting to surface. “What the fuck’re you saying?”

The person behind Harley was saying something to her again, a sense of urgency evident in their speech and gesture, and you saw her gaze flickering between you and them. You caught her cursing under her breath before she said something you couldn’t hear to them and craned her head in your direction with a scowl on her face.

“I’ll be right back. Do not fucking do anything stupid, you hear me?!”

A glimpse of your roommate’s bleached hair was all you saw before she disappeared into the crowd. You couldn’t even process your interaction, let alone get another word in. The realization that you were alone, again, somehow sobered you up. Your eyes felt heavy as they swept over the room once more, hoping to find someone who could distract you from your approaching crash. Gone was the euphoria that ran through your veins and kept you moving. The bluish lighting lost its color and no longer cast a glow that made you feel at ease; its coolness only made you feel more despondent in the middle of the party. The steady pulse of the music somewhat replaced your slowing heartbeat, yet it was muffled in your ears, blending with the chatter around you that grated on your overstimulated nerves. Each breath and step you took as you aimlessly walked through the crowd were slower than the last. You had never experienced your high crashing down as quickly as this. You thought that maybe, just maybe, talking to someone else about some mundane things or the latest gossip would at least be better than going back to one of those bathrooms for a fix. But there was no one to drag you into their conversation, let alone drag you into some corner just to temporarily reprieve you from the weight of it all; everyone was lost in their own world, while you just wanted to run away from yours, to forget and forget and forget.

So you did what you had been doing for the past year to patch up that hole in your heart ever since your parents died.

The bathroom you slipped into was bathed in deep purple, with flickering fairy lights framing the mirror where you saw your own reflection. You almost broke down when you did, because you hated what you saw. To others, you looked fine, pretty even, what with how the silk dress fitted over your form, how the red of your lips and nails seemed to glow in the dark, how your hair still seemed effortlessly kept even though it was a bit disheveled. To you? You looked fucking horrible. If it weren’t for the dim lighting, everyone would have noticed the dark circles under your eyes that you had tried to hide with layers and layers of concealer and the hollow of your cheeks that you didn’t bother contouring. You were a couple pounds lighter than you had been a month ago. Your veins stood out like dark, winding rivers beneath your skin, and your metacarpals had bulged like tree roots protruding from the ground. You put your purse on the counter, sluggishly rummaging through its contents to find your stash. Pressure wrapped around your head like a rubber band as you fumbled with the items inside your purse, trying to control your breathing so that pressure wouldn’t snap. You pulled out a tiny, crumpled resealable bag filled with that godforsaken white powder.

(Couldn’t you have found another way to numb yourself?)

You carefully opened the bag and poured the amount that you thought could lift the crushing weight from your chest onto the counter. With an old credit card your father once gave you before he returned to Japan to run away from you and your mother again, you arranged a few neat lines that you couldn’t even count on one hand because of how distressed you were. Even if you had at least retained a bit of your rationale, you would only have given yourself a pat on the back for lining them nearly as straight as a ruler. You hastily ripped a piece of paper from the tiny notebook you carried with you, rolled it up, and placed it against your nostril.

One sharp inhale and your world burst back into color, it seemed.

No more of that suffocating burden in your chest. No more of that dull ache devouring your entire body. Only that abrupt, exhilarating thrill returning to your bloodstream. Your body tensed for a split second, with your gasp for air making you sound like you had been strangled by death himself just moments ago. (But even death would have been kinder to you than you did to yourself.) At least, this way, your world felt warmer. Not the cold, barren land that you never bothered to nurture, even more so after your parents had passed. Their faces coming to the forefront of your mind made you snort another line, and you were taken back to your childhood home in the Tokyo suburbs; home where your dad played baseball and watched recordings of the Giants’ games with you, where your mom pulled you in for a side-hug as she plated the tonkatsu she cooked for dinner, where you ran around in your backyard either playing with bubbles bought from the local festival or a kite your dad had made for you. Those memories hurt you enough to make you take another bump.

Peace was not something you could afford—not when the line you took, crossed, only made you remember his face. You held back a sob as you took yet another bump. He was just that doe-eyed boy in high school; the boy who laughed in earnest after you parroted some stupid middle school joke you heard from one of your old classmates, the boy who scored a home run that you cheered for so loudly you could barely speak the next day, the boy who made you feel vulnerable for the first time when you kneeled for someone else as if he was God and he later kissed you as if you were an angel, as if all those Sundays you spent at church with your mother were all in vain because he was the original sin that you could not rid yourself of. One line taken, crossed, for every thought of him. One line taken, crossed, for every image of him in your head. The euphoria and heartache enveloping your chest did little to tear you from your frenzy, and only when they turned into a weight heavier than the one you were trying to cast aside did it finally hit you.

“Oh, fuck.”

The devil was staring back at you in the mirror. Your hands felt clammy as they gripped the counter so hard that your knuckles turned white. Your heart beat violently against your ribcage that you were sure it was about to break. You found that it was getting harder to breathe with each sharp inhale that burned your nostrils. Instead of running away, it was as if you were being chased. As if God had enough of your bullshit and told you ‘Don’t you fucking run away’ as the room closed in around you. Everything blurred, darkened, as you grew numb and heavy. Your grip on the counter loosened before your hands finally fell on your sides. Gone was the euphoria that made your world feel at least a little worthwhile, replaced by the realization that something very wrong was going on with you. You swayed and lost your balance in one movement—damn your high-heeled feet, damn the black hole in your heart, damn all the gods and angels that ever existed that never heard your prayers—then you fell onto your knees, knocking your head on the edge of the counter. The only warmth you felt then was the blood trickling down your forehead as you collapsed sideways onto the floor.

Several minutes passed as you teetered on the edge of unconsciousness. During those minutes, you recalled not being able to breathe properly, if at all, as you instinctively yet weakly willed yourself to at least lie down on your side. The noise that escaped the back of your throat was barely audible, and it was something akin to someone being choked to death. You thought that that was what was actually happening, that it was for real this time. Everything was muffled, but you could make out a loud bang against the wall and a figure rushing to your side and shaking your body a little too violently for your liking in your half-conscious state. Warmer light bathed the room once the overhead light was turned on, and you heard what you could only recognize as the voices of people panicking and yelling at each other.

God granted you one last moment of clarity, in which you saw Ken’s face, stricken with horror, before you let yourself fall deeper into oblivion.

Ken Sato got benched for the first time.

Not only did the Giants lose their second match against the Swallows, Ken was also very nearly suspended for the bench-clearing brawl that he had supposedly started. In his first game against the Swallows, the umpire had intervened in the quarrel between Ken and the opposing catcher, and he managed to hit a home run that boosted the team’s morale. But then he just had to meet her during that stupid celebration; their encounter had left him distraught for literal fucking days. Before he knew it, the sun had already risen on his game day. He had to drink two cups of coffee just to kickstart his body into motion. While he could keep that goddamn catcher’s brickbats in the first match, Ken could barely keep himself together when the catcher provoked him in the second match—he tried, really, to hold the lingering effects of the few cans of beer he had the other night, to perform well despite his lack of sleep and barely healed shoulder, to empty his mind from the thoughts of her while he was on the field. He remembered slapping the catcher’s mask off his face and the impact of a clenched fist against his left cheekbone. Everything that happened afterward was a blur to him, other than the fact that Coach Shimura benched and reprimanded him and that he went past the speed limit when he rode his bike back home after the game. That night, the ice bath he had sunk himself into did little to calm his nerves.

The bruises on Ken’s face ceased to swell just two days before his next game. When he found that he could fit his helmet comfortably again without having to deal with how sore the left side of his face was, he cruised across the Rainbow Bridge and relished the rush he felt as he swerved past the traffic in Minato, the hum of his bike engine reverberating through his body. For a moment, the sight of the Tokyo Tower in the distance distracted him from his reality. He thought of Shibuya as the destination of his night ride, but then he recalled his encounter with her at that one nightclub and frustration bubbled up in his chest once again like heartburn. So he simply cruised through the streets of Roppongi, aimlessly taking turns until he arrived at an intersection and narrowly missed a car running a red light from his right.

“Hey–!”

“Ken, are you alright?”

The sound of metal clashing and glass shattering just a few feet ahead of him made Ken instinctively swerve away from the crash. He could barely register what was happening as he brought his bike to a stop near the sidewalk. Adrenaline coursed through his veins as his heartbeat pulsed in his ears and pounded in his chest. With labored breaths and trembling hands, Ken took off his helmet and turned to look at the scene. His eyes widened in shock as he processed the sight of two cars crumpled against each other at the intersection, smoke billowing up from one of the cars’ hoods and the ring of their alarms echoing through the street.

A loud wail that shrilled through his ears pulled him out of his trance. If the scene hadn’t already distressed him, then the sight of a child that some of the pedestrians pulled out from the passenger seat of the impacted car was downright heartbreaking. She was no more than five years old, her pristine white dress stained with blood—Ken wasn’t sure if it was the child’s or someone else’s. He could only imagine what she had seen in the driver’s seat for her to keep trying to get back into the car and shrieking at the top of her lungs. But when they pulled out the driver from the car, he understood.

Ken felt as if his heart had been ripped out from his chest when he saw a face so familiar being laid down on the sidewalk across from him. He was sure he strained his vocal chords when he called out her name so loud it might have rivaled the child’s earsplitting cries.

He had seen this before. He had felt this before—sometime in college, at some godforsaken frat party that made him absolutely abhor parties. (Even if they were some of the only things that helped him cope with the loneliness he felt after she left.) He remembered seeing her lying on the bathroom floor, motionless; there were trails of white on her nostrils, drool and lipstick smudged on the corners of her mouth, blood trickling down from her forehead to the stained white linoleum. But now, instead of slowly kneeling beside her, he ran as fast as he could to the other side of the road and practically shoved away the people that were between him and her. There was no way she was dying right in front of him again. He refused to believe it, at least until he reached out to hold her and realized that she was as pale as she had been that night. His breath labored and his hands—no, his whole body trembled as he frantically glanced over at her closed eyes, the trickling crimson on her face, the slowly drying red on the white of her shirt. Time didn’t slow down this time; it felt as if everything in the world, his world, had completely stilled when he brushed her hair out of her face. Her. It was her. It was just like that night.

This was real. This wasn’t a fever dream.

This was fucking real.

Ken had met you again in the middle of freshman year in college. The two of you reconnected, albeit with a sense of detachment that often made his skin crawl. The jock he had seen you with was actually your boyfriend of a month—one you had supposedly dumped just two days after Ken had met you again. A few days after your breakup, Ken saw you hunched over on a bench in front of the convenience store near his dorm. Your face was hidden under the hood of your jacket while you ate cup noodles and drank a can of beer; he noticed how the bags under your eyes had become more prominent and how your lips were a little more chapped compared to when you were in high school. He bought a can of beer of his own before awkwardly sitting next to you, asking about your life, and you lit up a cigarette, apologizing for cutting him off after graduation. He didn’t know which he hated more: the fact that he could forgive you in the blink of an eye or how easy it was to fall back into the dynamic you used to have—playful banter, laughter that shook your bodies, and longing stares that neither of you spoke about. His heart fluttered when you held out your little finger, and he hooked it with his own.

“Friends forever, bro.”

You were glad you didn’t fall back into some of your old habits—the ones that involved either him under you or you under him. (He was your old habit.) You reconnected with his mother, too, but you never visited again, because you feared the comfort of his home would remind you too much of the past and how your home could never be as warm as his. For a while, it truly felt like you were just friends without all the skeletons in your closets. You would spend some of your weekday nights studying with Ken at the library before riding your bikes across town to that old diner you used to frequent with your mother before she stopped coming home early and he took her place. Other nights, you would roll up some joints with Harley in your dorm room while talking about whatever was on your mind; yet whenever she asked you about Ken, he almost always arrived in front of your door as if on cue, and you never got to tell her that you could never love anyone the way you loved him. (You had a feeling she knew.) The evenings you cherished the most, however, were the ones you spent hanging out at the park with the two of them, smoking pot while doing your assignments and watching the sunset together.

Freshman year ended with a core memory of you pushing Ken into the lake before he pulled you in with him. Harley laughed until she couldn’t breathe, one hand holding a half-smoked joint and the other recording the two of you with her phone.

Three months into sophomore year, your father came for a month-long visit as he usually did every year, and you didn’t return home on the weekends as you usually did whenever he came. When you were still in high school, you would have to either stay and listen to their screaming matches, both the hostile and obscene, or lie to your parents that you had some group work or extracurricular project so you could go to one of those awful house parties; fuck one of the guys you met at said party—that was, if Ken wasn’t there, because you would definitely pull him to the nearest empty room for a quickie if he was there; and sleep over at one of your friends’ houses, talking about anything and everything except you would stay quiet when they told stories of their fathers showing up at their rehearsals and their mothers baking homemade cakes for their birthdays. You never told anyone what was happening. Not even Ken, let alone his mother. You were just happy to be out of that house. Now that you were in college, your reasons were at least closer to the truth. Assignments. Group projects. Final exams. Student Council stuff. Preparations for career exhibitions and campus festivals. Debate practice for another state championship—you won three titles throughout college, yet your father would only acknowledge with an almost disinterested hum whenever you told him. (You didn’t play softball competitively anymore. Your parents made you drop the sport.)

You hated how you fell back into your old habits whenever your father visited—you hadn’t indulged in them last year since he didn’t visit, and you quietly thanked God because there was no way you were going to spend your most vulnerable moments with that insufferable jock. This time, though, you found yourself smoking at least a pack of cigarettes a day and looking for someone to kneel for.

Of course, you didn’t even let yourself think of pulling Ken down with you. As much as you would rather have him, you cared for him enough to not put him through what you had put him through in high school. But Ken knew you. Perhaps it was his fear of losing you again. Perhaps it was out of his own selfishness to keep you all to himself even if you weren’t his. He was the one who fell back into old habits for you. Whenever you called him to ask where he was on the weekends, he would drop whatever he was doing at that moment and come to you. Sometimes, the two of you would go on a night ride—on his bike because he didn’t trust you to drive, given your state of mind—and he would fuck you in the dark alleyway next to that old diner after eating two large burger meals together. At times like this, you didn’t even need to smoke or drink afterward because you would find yourself drunk merely from the pleasure and adrenaline rush. Other times, when his roommate got the hint and made himself scarce, Ken would take you on his bed, and you wouldn’t have any other choice but to be as quiet as possible. Then, even if you were the one who fell asleep in his room, he would always be the one leaving before you woke up in the morning, and you would never wait until he returned. 

One day, while you were watching the sunset with Ken and your roommate, you received a call informing you that your parents had been in a car accident and were killed on impact. This wasn’t the first time you broke down. But it was the first time Ken had ever seen you collapse in on yourself like a planet turning into a black hole.

“They’ll be buried in Japan,” you uttered flatly. “I called my uncle. He said he will be picking them up next week, but he won’t be staying long.”

Ken frowned. “Are you going–”

“No.”

If you had to suffer, you wanted to suffer here, where all the worst memories of your family resided. (Even if it meant staining the happiest days of your life with him.) Japan was home to your childhood and the innocence you had lost a long time ago, and there was no way you would taint it with your deep, irremediable sorrow. You were never going back there. You were never going back home.

(Have you ever had one?)

Ken tried to be there when you mourned. But you had shut him and even Harley out after your uncle picked up your parents’ ashes. You spent three days glued to your bed, only getting up to eat something and brush your teeth when your roommate practically dragged you to. Ken would bring the food his mother made, even bringing her to the dorms at some point, but you would only eat five spoonfuls at most and leave the rest for your roommate. You couldn’t look his mother in the eye, even after she pulled you into her embrace, and you let her leave without so much as saying goodbye. The one time you broke down again, Harley called Ken for help because you told her you just couldn’t even will yourself to get up. When he saw you curled up on your unmade bed, reeking as if you hadn’t showered for more than a couple days, he thought that you were the only person that could break his heart in a million different ways. He remembered carrying you to his mother’s car and making you stay at his place until you feel better. He remembered slowly feeding you the gruel his mother made for you as you limply leaned against his side on his bed. He remembered washing you in the tub when his mother wasn’t home, scrubbing your back as your tears fell into the bathwater and your cries echoed in the bathroom.

His mother only reluctantly let you go back to your dorm a week later. By then, you already felt a little more like yourself, yet Ken still insisted on helping you. He would bring his mother’s food for you and walk you to your classes whenever he could, even if his classes were on the other side of the campus. He would buy some things you offhandedly said you needed to stock in your dorm and wait for you to finish showering, standing idly outside the communal showers area, no matter how much time you took. He would soothe you in ways he only knew how—with hushed praises, hands entangled with yours, kissing away the tears that fell either out of pleasure or grief—and left a glass of water, something to eat, and morning-after pills for when you woke up. To him, this was how he could love you without loving you. To you, this was a reminder that you would never be deserving of his warmth.

Two months passed. Everything seemed to return to normal—as normal as it could be, Ken thought, because there was something off about you after you spent your winter break in Japan. Upon your return, you started coming to those frat parties again, but you would come back more skittish each time. Perhaps you were just drinking, Harley said, but that was enough reason for Ken to start coming to the same parties you were invited to. He noticed how color had slowly faded from your cheeks as they hollowed bit by bit; how the dark circles around your eyes became more noticeable, even with all the makeup you wore; how you grew thinner every month, eating only once a day, becoming frail underneath your rapture. He should have known that the way you casually wiped off your nosebleed while smoking at the park was a dead giveaway; yet, somehow, realization only dawned on him when you rejected his warmth for the first time in the years that you had burned him in yours. Brokenhearted was an understatement. He lost you again—not to the bittersweetness of unspoken love, but to the malignity of worldly subservience.

One of his biggest, if not the biggest, regrets in life was not stopping you right then and there.

Summer break—everyone and their mothers held a party. Ken remembered that night awfully well that it became the stuff of his nightmares. He spent half the night looking for you; he didn’t even need to talk to you, he just needed to know you were there. Some of his friends noticed how distracted he was, and when they brought it up, he waved them off, saying he had just seen a familiar face before joining their conversation. He hoped they didn’t notice how bitter his laugh sounded when they teasingly asked if he was looking for you. Usually, it wouldn’t be this hard to find you. Whenever there was a party, you would be at the center of it. Your enthusiasm whenever you came to one of these frat parties contrasted with your more mellowed out self in those dimly lit house parties in high school. Yet, as the clock neared two in the morning and he still couldn’t find you, he reminded himself of how there had been something off about your high spirits.

“Ken?”

Upon hearing a familiar voice, Ken blinked rapidly and realized that he had been in a stupor. Instead of one of his friends, it was Harley who had called out his name, and he was surprised to see her there. He noticed that she hadn’t been coming to the same parties anymore and remembered you mentioning it was probably because she finally had a girlfriend. He brushed off the thought when he saw concern etched on her face, but before he could even open his mouth to ask, she beat him to it.

“Have you seen her?”

“No…?” Ken frowned. “No, why?”

Harley clicked her tongue. “I swear, she’s–” She took a sharp inhale of breath before continuing. “Can you help me find her?”

“Well, yeah, but–” Ken’s frown deepened when he took notice of how Harley kept looking around the room restlessly. “Is something going on with her?”

“Yes!” She snapped, and judging by the look on her face afterward, she probably didn’t mean to. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips before she continued. “Yes, and you gotta help me find her before she does anything stupid.”

“Okay, okay,” Ken said, raising both hands, gesturing to Harley to calm down. It did little to pacify her, as she continued to look around the room restlessly. He subconsciously followed gaze as he asked, “Where was she the last time you saw her?”

“She was right here, I swear–” Harley cut herself off when she recognized someone in the crowd before repeatedly tapping on their shoulder. “Hey, did you see a girl in a black dress here before?”

She uttered your name afterward, and the person’s face lit up in recognition. “Oh, her?” They turned slightly, extending a forefinger to point in a direction. “Yeah, I think I saw her going into the bathroom over there.”

Oh.

Oh no.

Ken was pretty sure he bolted toward the bathroom at record speed without so much as saying ‘thank you’ to the person who gave him and Harley the heads-up. They must have looked like madmen shoving people aside left and right, and had he not had a literal life-or-death situation at hand, he would have gotten himself into a fight with how hard he shoved some people and how indifferent he was in the face of their indignation. When they finally arrived in front of the bathroom, the door was slightly ajar, and the sight of a pool of black on the floor made his breath hitch.

“Oh, no.”

He swung the door open so hard that it hit the wall with a loud bang, stunning the crowd near the bathroom. Harley immediately dropped onto her knees next to you with a loud thud. “Oh, no, no, no, no–hey, hey, wake up!”

Everything that happened afterward was a blur to him. Your roommate yelled and gestured wildly at Ken to turn on the lamp, which he did after barely registering her words. He froze when he saw you lying on the floor, motionless, pale as a ghost that he thought you might as well have turned into one. Time slowed down as more people flooded the scene, yelling and screaming at each other in panic, and everything was just too much. He tuned them out as he slowly kneeled and reached out to brush your hair out of your face, the blood from your forehead staining the tips of his fingers. His disbelief turned into a sickening realization that made the contents of his stomach rise up his throat. It was you. It was really you.

Ken couldn’t think straight as he lifted you in his arms and carried you out of the bathroom before Harley could even get another word in. How could he? The blood on his fingers felt warm, yet you were as cold as a fucking corpse. He could barely feel the rise and fall of your shoulders as you breathed. All of his rage and heartache, including the resentment he had for you, fueled him as he yelled at people to get the fuck out of the way! and carelessly shoved anyone who didn’t. When he finally got outside, he realized you didn’t even feel warm against the chill of the midnight wind. Fortunately, the ambulance arrived just as he was about to run and carry you to the nearest hospital himself. The paramedics tried to stop him from getting in the ambulance, only relenting when he almost punched one of them. He didn’t remember getting to the hospital or how he ended up spending the night at your bedside—just the overwhelming fear that he could have lost you for good.

That night, it was his first time smoking a cigarette out of his own will.

“You can’t keep doing this shit.”

“You don’t fucking get it.”

“I don’t need to fucking get it when I can see that you’re fucking up yourself!”

You couldn’t even reply to that.

“Did you even know how scared I was? How scared Ken was? God, I don’t care if you’re a total bitch, just don’t do this shit to yourself!”

“I had it under control–”

“Under control? You fucking overdosed. That’s not under control, that’s out of fucking control!”

This time, you snapped. “Well, yelling at me isn’t going to fucking fix anything!”

Ken stood outside your hospital room, leaning against the wall next to the door. He sighed as soon as the screaming match started. This wasn’t the first time you and Harley fought with raised voices and unrestrained spite since she found out about your addiction, straining both your throats and friendship after each fight. Still, neither of you had ever escalated things, so he simply listened from where he stood, a heavy weight resting on his chest as the two of you exchanged words he knew you would regret down the line. Her last words to you, however, would probably haunt you for the rest of your life.

“You know what? If you don’t want me to stop you from killing yourself, fine. Go kill yourself if you want.”

Even Ken staggered upon hearing the words that left her lips.

“Harley–!” He heard you call for your roommate, whose heels clicked on the floor and echoed closer to the door. As she opened the door, he heard you yell, “Fuck you!”

He gave a sideways glance toward Harley as she got out of the room. She visibly jumped when she noticed his presence but quickly composed herself and closed the door behind her. A deep, exasperated sigh left her lips as she hung her head. “Sorry.”

He waved off her apology in reassurance. “You okay?”

A shake of her head, then silence. It wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t awkward either—it was the first time he wordlessly understood Harley when she looked up at him tiredly because ‘Why won’t you let anyone help you?’ and he could only slacken his frown because ‘I want to know why, too.’ She glanced at the floor beneath her heels, pondering for a few moments before finally speaking her mind.

“Can you look after her?”

To that, he offered her a small, sad smile.

“Yeah, I will.”

That was the last time Ken—and you—ever saw Harley. She moved off-campus, blocked your number and all your social media accounts, and never even spared you so much as a glance whenever you passed by. You also didn’t bother to approach her, guilt gnawing at you like maggots eating rotten flesh. By the time you started your senior year, you never saw her on campus. Ken was the only witness to your absolution.

(You wondered if he was God himself, with how forgiving he was.)

Four months into junior year, you finally came back to your house. One of your aunts was kind enough to help organize your mother’s belongings after the funeral and pay for cleaning services throughout the year your house was empty. You found yourself standing in the middle of the living room, hollow. You hadn’t been here for a year. Everything stayed the same. Everything—except your mother’s heels were no longer displayed on the shoe rack in the foyer, her favorite episode of Love Island wasn’t playing on the widescreen TV you could see from upstairs, and her liquor cabinet was void of her favorite bottles of Pinot noir. Everything, except your mother’s nonchalant ‘Welcome back, how was school?’ didn’t greet you when you came in, her dulcet voice no longer spoke of your achievements as she introduced you to your new neighbors, and her drunken laughter wasn’t echoing in the living room as she offered another drink to yet another younger man whose face you didn’t bother to remember. Everything stayed the same. Everything except you.

You would have grabbed a kitchen knife and killed yourself if the doorbell hadn’t rung.

Disoriented from your own thoughts, you willed yourself to stagger toward the door and open it. Ken stood there, one hand running through his unruly hair and the other holding his helmet. His eyes softened as he studied your features, while you offered him a confused look.

“Why are you here?”

He shrugged. “So you won’t be alone.”

There must be some divine punishment for how you had molded him into this—a young man who only wanted the slightest bit of love you could give, but you never did. You wanted to reach out, feel his warmth in your arms, and say ‘Thank you for never leaving me alone.’ You wanted to scream at the top of your lungs and strain your throat and your neck muscles, either saying ‘I can do this myself’ or ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’ You wanted to look him in the eye and say ‘I love you,’ with every word echoing throughout the world to let him know that he was your world. But you settled with an apprehensive stare that you didn’t know he could look through.

“I’m fine–”

“No, you’re not,” he said with a firmness you hadn’t expected. He saw how you were taken aback and let his jaw unclench, his gaze soften, his voice lower. “We promised, right?”

Then he held out his little finger and you were sixteen again, breaking each other’s hearts for the first time.

“Friends forever.”

Ken looked at you with your father’s long-lost fondness and your mother’s forgotten tenderness. You wanted to hook your little finger around his and offer him the slightest hint of a smile you could muster, so you did. You wanted to take a deep breath, press your head against his chest, and hear—feel—his heartbeat, so you did. He held you closer, inhaling the familiar scent of your shampoo in your hair, his free hand soothingly rubbing your back. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his torso as you pressed yourself closer to him, relishing in his warmth while burning him in yours once again.

(You didn’t tell him the way he said it sounded more like a proposal than a promise.)

“You don’t have to stay.” But I want you to.

He let out a contemplative hum that reverberated through both his body and yours. You found the slight vibration comforting.

“But I want to.” You don’t even have to ask me.

That day, you started packing up with his help. You showed him the albums of your childhood, told him the stories behind each photograph, and spoke fondly of your father for the first time in years. The next day, he checked and washed your bike and your mother’s car—which you sold later on in the afternoon, helped you pack all the medals and trophies you had won since middle school, and dragged you outside to mess around with the sprinkler system one last time. On the last day, he carried all the boxes and stacked them downstairs so the movers could easily move them, you cooked your mother’s mac and cheese recipe and he held you as you cried while eating, and the two of you took out your old star projector and turned it on in the living room, where both of you talked yourselves to sleep. Those three days were the first time in years that your touches didn’t lead to anything more.

You moved out to a studio apartment near downtown, sent the rest of your mother’s belongings back to her family in Japan, and rented a storage space for the things you couldn’t fit in your apartment. Ken would come over almost every day and sleep over every weekend, spending your shared free time playing video games, catch ball, or poker. (Strip poker, sometimes.) Two months later, he practically moved in, what with how many of his clothes were in your wardrobe and how his toothbrush was always next to yours in the bathroom. Six months later, the two of you practically became parents to a stray tabby cat named Mochi, whose favorite thing to do was to nap nearly all day and only seemed to stay awake when you and Ken decided to shove your tongues in each other’s mouths and your hands in each other’s pants.

A year later, you gave him your sobriety coin.

The harsh overhead fluorescent lights glared at him as he stared down the empty forms laid down on the reception desk in front of him. Instead of filling them out, his mind wandered to his bloodstained jacket, now sealed in a bag somewhere in the hospital. One of the nurses had said something about preventing contamination, but he could barely register her words with how the faint smell of iron still lingered in his nose even after he washed off the blood from his hands. His eyes then flickered to them; the red of your blood now replaced by the redness of his own skin after he had vigorously scrubbed it off, leaving small scratches on his palms. Then his mind wandered to you. You and the crimson painting your face. You and the white staining your nose. You, smiling whenever you saw his face in the crowd. You, laughing at every one of his stupid jokes. You, lying down on the bathroom floor with dazed eyes looking straight at him and an unspoken apology he could hear over the music before you passed out. You, lying down on the sidewalk with the same look in your eyes and a fear he couldn’t quite place before you went limp and closed your eyes as he tried to stop the blood flowing from your torso.

(His bike wobbled when he caught a glimpse of his bloodstained hands while speeding off to the hospital.)

A dull ache returned to his bruised cheekbone, pulling him out of his train of thought, and he hissed at the slight pricking he felt when he brought up his hand to touch it. The papers in front of him captured his attention once again. He forced his brain to work as he deciphered the rows of kanji written on them. It was easy, at first. Your name. Birthday. Blood type. Medical history. He thought it wasn’t his place to disclose your old habits. (Even if he was one of them.) But then he realized he didn’t even know how to properly spell your smoking and addiction history in Japanese, and his frown deepened when he read the address, emergency contact, and insurance details columns.

“Wait, uh,” he said, flipping through the papers, his eyes darting between the columns before he handed one of the forms to the nurse behind the desk. “I don’t know if I could fill some of these.”

“Oh,” the nurse exclaimed softly, glancing over the paper in her hand. “Do you know anyone we could contact on her behalf? Her relatives, perhaps?”

Ken couldn’t come up with an answer. Your parents and his mother had already passed. He knew nothing about your extended family, and from the way you spoke or avoided speaking about them, he figured that you wouldn’t want him to call them even if you were on your deathbed. He did think of his father and the possibility that you had met him after you came to Japan, but the resentment that simmered in his chest made him tighten his grip around the pen in his hand as he shook off the thought. He wasn’t going to call his father. He would never.

“Uh, no,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “They’re not on good terms,” he continued. “I don’t have their contacts, and I don’t know if they’d even come if you called.”

“I see,” the nurse said, nodding as she handed back the paper in her hand to him. “Then please just fill out these forms as best as you can, sir. If you need any help, please let me know.”

He nodded and muttered a ‘thank you’ before making quick work of filling out the forms, writing down what he knew about you. On the other hand, he left your daughter’s forms mostly, if not completely, empty. Your daughter. A flash of indignation burned for a moment in his chest before disappearing just as quickly as it came. No older than five years old, he recalled. He wondered if you had her after you left Los Angeles. He wondered if you had called him to meet at that old diner to tell him. He wondered if, had he not been drunk and you actually told him, there would at least be a reason for him to be a part of your world—your daughter. His daughter. Ken swore his heart tightened, threatening to shrivel, at the thought of you raising a child alone in a country where you didn’t have anyone else.

(What if you were alone all this time?)

“Would you like to see your daughter? She’s asleep right now, but she should be waking up anytime soon.”

Ken barely registered the nurse’s words, but when he did, they almost gave him whiplash as he snapped his head to look at her. “Huh?”

The nurse herself seemed to have asked him the question without properly looking at him, thus not seeing the bewildered look on his face, preoccupied with whatever was on her desk. “Would you like to see–” She cut herself off when she finally looked up at him, her own expression slowly turning into one of mortification. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I assumed–”

His hand waved off her rushed apology, reassuring her that he didn’t take offense to the question. “Yeah, yeah, no, i-it’s alright,” he stuttered. “She’s–she’s not my daughter, but…” His words trailed off to give way to a momentary silence before he asked, “Can I see her?”

With an understanding nod and another apology, the nurse led Ken to the pediatric ward and into one of the rooms. An older nurse was already there, sitting by the bedside with a clipboard in her hands. She gave him a small smile as she got up from her seat to move to the corner of the room, muttering a ‘Please don’t mind me’ as she sat down. Perhaps she was just taking precautions, considering that he wasn’t listed as an immediate family member. He thanked her, turning his attention to the child sleeping on the bed, breath hitching when he realized something.

She looked so much like you. A carbon copy of you—the you he had seen in a photograph your father took on your fourth birthday, dressed in a pretty pink dress and a blue paper hat as you posed with the candled cake, a Duchenne smile on your face. (You said it was the happiest day of your life because it was the only time you remembered your father’s warmth.) The you he had seen in another picture in your childhood album, where you sat on your mother’s lap, laughing and playing the piano together. (You told him your mother stopped playing when you got into high school.) The you he had seen in a Polaroid shot your mother took when you were fifteen, a rare moment amidst your spiraling home life, where you were curled up on the couch, fast asleep in your party outfit with your old teddy bear in your arms. (You gave him that photograph; he kept it in his wallet to this day.)

Ken’s eyes widened, and he sat up straighter in his seat when her eyes slowly opened, revealing a pair of gray orbs strikingly similar to his own. Fear and confusion were etched on her face, but they melted away when her eyes gleamed with recognition upon seeing him—and all he saw was the 6-year-old boy who had just moved to Los Angeles and didn’t speak a word of English.

“Mr. Nana?”

“Huh?”

Her weak, slightly hoarse voice must have alerted the nurse in the corner of the room, because she was right by their side within seconds. The nurse asked her how she was feeling and checked her vitals, her own voice low and gentle so as to not scare her patient. Both the nurse and your daughter kept glancing at him every now and then, and after she fully regained consciousness, her eyes never left Ken’s.

“She keeps calling you ‘Mr. Nana,’” the nurse chuckled softly. “I think she’s referring to your jersey number, Mr. Sato.”

A small smile made its way onto Ken’s face. “Oh, yeah, that makes sense.”

“Would you like to talk to him, sweetheart?”

Your daughter nodded bashfully, and the nurse helped her sit on the bed. He took it as a cue to move closer, gently dragging his chair to avoid the shrill sound of its metal legs against the floor. He let his shoulder slump a little so he could look at her at her eye level, though her gaze nervously flickered between him and the nurse standing by the other side of the bed.

“Hi,” Ken asked softly and awkwardly. “What’s your name?”

She blinked at him a couple times. “Emi.”

Emi. Emiko. His mother’s name.

“Emi?” He croaked out, and she nodded. A moment of silence passed between them before he took a deep breath and let his smile return to his face. “That’s a pretty name.”

“...Thank you,” Emi said shyly, glancing up at him before looking back at her fidgeting thumbs. “Mama said I’m named after someone pretty.”

(You really were the only person who could break his heart in a million different ways.)

He let out an amused snort. “Is that so?”

She nodded again; the next time she opened her mouth to speak, her surfacing excitement reminded him of whenever you talked about the topics you learned at debate practice or the things you just couldn’t discuss with anyone else but him.

“Mama also said that you’re the best baseball player in the world. Is that true?”

The greatest living player, you once said. “Yeah,” he chuckled softly. “Yeah, that’s right.”

If he hadn’t known better, he wouldn’t have thought that Emi had just been in a car crash a few hours ago. The little girl nearly bounced with how giddy she was, eyes widening and lips parting in wonder. His own smile widened at the sight and when he asked, “Do you like baseball too?”

“Yes!” Emi answered enthusiastically. “Mama showed me that- that when you play, you can hit the ball reeeally far!”

Ken let out a chuckle, warmth spreading in his chest when the thought of you singing his praises crossed his mind. “I can show you how to hit the ball really far too,” he said, trailing off to ponder on something before continuing. “When you get better, I’ll show you. How’s that sound?”

The proposition made Emi turn to look at the older nurse, seemingly for reassurance, and she simply nodded in Ken’s direction in response. Emi’s eyes gleamed in delight, a small smile on her face, and he couldn’t help but notice just how much she resembled you when she nodded bashfully.

(Maybe, just maybe, you’re finally home.)

taglist: @mochminnie

[kichikichiko]

Hello! I hope you're having a good time,I would like to request Kazuha and scaramouche with a gender neutral reader Who almost died protecting them?

If you don't feel comfortable doing this, don't do it. Thank you so much!

Don't you dare leave me!

HELLO HI EVERYONE! HAPPY (BELATED) NEW YEARS! 😻😻😻🌟🌟🌟

I've had this request in my ask box for MONTHS and Ive planned to write it when I got it but ykkkk life happens.

Ty Anon for sending this in and sorry it took me this long to write your request 💔

Synopsis: How your partner would react to when you risk your life to save them.

Pairing: Kazuha x Gn! Reader and Scara x Gn! Reader

Cw: Semi proof-read, Fluff, headcanon, slight blood mention, cursing for Scara, Established relationship (Kazuha), kiss at the end (Scara)

──────•❥❥❥•──────

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA ¤ Scarlet leaves pursue wild waves

It was around the time the Raiden Shogun declared the vision hunting decree, and right after Kazuha's dear friend Tomo passed trying to withsand the musou no hitotachi.

You were away for training with your teacher. And as you walked home you heard of the commotion on the streets

"That guy died from the Shogun's strike" "what was he thinking?! He is obviously no match for the Shogun"

Hearing all of the whispers made you a little worried. And something told you that it was terrible news. What if that was someone you knew personally?

Assuring yourself that it's probably just some stupid samurai off the streets is what you did. Trying to block out all the whisperd and worries of the city folk.

Until you heard his name from a group of people talking about what just happened. "...Kaedehara...."

Your boyfriend who you haven't seen since this morning. You stopped on your tracks and turned around hoping you heard that wrong.

"What did you say?"

"Pardon?" The person asked.

"The name." You repeated "the name you mentioned before, what was it again?"

"Kaedehara. Kaedehara Kazuha?" The person said confused by your expression growing more and more distraught by the second

"What happened to him? Did he..." you couldnt even get yourself to finish that sentence. You didnt want to believe that HE was the one who challenged the Raiden Shogun

"No dont worry (miss/sir) it's not him who died. Its another guy, but Kaedehara was seen on the scene taking the dead vision and running off. From what I've heard he's running away right now"

Without wasting another second you booked it to the nearest port. You had no idea if he was going to be there as he escaped but it's worth the shot anyways.

Panting and gasping through the bamboo forest while thinking about the fate of your boyfriend isn't the best combination.

"What if he got caught?" "What if he already left?" "What if that stranger was mistaken?" The what if questions were not helping you at all.

So all you did was to hope. Hope that he is still alive, hope that he is still in Inazuma

Your legs were killing you and your lungs feel like they're about to explode if you don't stop running. But you can't

You need to see Kazuha.

As if the Archon's heard your prayers, all of a sudden you hear a guard shouting in a distance "Kaedehara Kazuha you're under arrest under the vision hunting decree!"

"It's him! He's still here!" Relieved he hasn't made it out of Inazuma yet, you started running even faster to the scene.

When you got there you saw Kazuha fighting a bunch of the Shogun's guards left and right. "Kazuha!" You shouted out in relief, as you drew out your katana (sword) and began helping him fight.

You bear no vision, but the adrenaline was pumping into your veins you didnt give a second thought and dove into the fight.

"(Name)??" Kazuha turned around to look at you for a split second. Honestly if it werent for the current condition youre both in, he'd hug you real tight

"How did you find me?" He asked before turning his head around and defend himself from the guards.

"I heard from the city folks hat you ran away after a man died from the musou no hitotachi" you responded, blocking a strike from another guard.

He made a mental note to explain to you the story after the fight is over.

Speaking of which, the fight lasted for quite sometime until all of the shogun's minions were down.

You turned around and hugged Kazuha, throwing your weapon onto the ground.

"I'm so glad youre safe Kaz" you burried your bead into his shoulder, still panting from all that fighting, adrenaline and running.

Kazuha was panting as well, hugging you tighter like never before and kissed your forehead softly "Me too (name), I'm so sorry I didn't come to you sooner and told you anything. Everything happened so fast, I had to leave before I got caught."

You pulled away from the hug and smiled at him softly, your breathing becoming more stable after a while "That's alright, I found you just in time-"

Something was moving behind Kazuha and you couldn't make it what it was until you could.

It was the Shogun's guard again, with a bow and arrow... aimed at Kazuha's back. Your heart dropped

before the guard should release the arrow you pushed Kazuha away and took the hit.

The arrow ended up piercing your shoulder which earned a shout from you. It hurted like hell and blood started flowing out of your shoulder by the minute.

At first you felt dizzy from the blood loss and then everything went dark. You were going in and out, Before you blacked out completely, the first time you saw Kazuha charging up to the guard and fought him. The next time you saw him picking you up bridal style

And the last thing you heard was " (name) Don't you dare leave me!"

♤

The first thing you saw when you woke up was a wooden ceiling above you. "Where am I?" You sat up and hissed from the pain on your shoulder. You took a look at thr soirce of the pain and to your surprise, the wounded area had been wrapped with a compression bandage.

Looking around at the area you realised you ended up on a ship. But how?

Before you could ask more questions, the door in front of you opened, and standing there was Kazuha. The man saw that you were awake and sped walk towards you.

"You're awake! Thank goodness. Don't worry everythings alright. We're on a ship of a pirate captain from Liyue and she got her crew to help stop the bleeding on your shoulder."

Ah, he basically just answered the questions that were popping up in your head. "Looks like we'll have to thank this pirate captain for her hospitality"

You looked at the current condition of your lover. His shoulders were tense and his lips forced into a small smile.

You could tell it was so that you wouldn't be alarmed. And you could tell he was still shaken up by the stunt you pulled earlier.

"I'm sorry my love, for scaring you like that." Placing your hand on his shoulder, then slowly making your way up to his cheek. "I'm safe, youre safe. That's all that matters."

You could see his eyes softening and his shoulders becoming less tense

"Youre right... youre right. You just got me worried back there. I was afraid I might lose you too." He whispered softly, cupping his hand over your hand.

Subconciously he gripped your hand hard enough to make you notice but not hard enough to hurt you.

He didn't have to elaborate any further for you to realise that his dear friend was the one who died.

"I won't leave you here alone dear. That's a promise." pulling him into a hug, which he reciprocated quickly

"What now?" Is a question you both will figure out later.

Right now, the only thing that matters is the two of you.

SCARAMOUCHE/ KUNIKUZUSHI ¤ The Balladeer

Being the Balladeer's assistant was no easy job

Literally.

Having to deal with his yelling, degration, mocks, (tantrums) and bad temper required patience. Lots of it

But no matter how many times he left you out in the snow to freeze, or mocked you in front of everyone, you stayed by him. Honestly no one understood how and why (and neither did Scara but he would never question it)

Partially because the pay is good (the harbingers decided to pay you extra because youre dealing with Scaramouche), partially because you don't get treated as half as bad as his subordinates and because sometimes he isn't so bad in general.

What I mean by "not so bad" is that sometimes, barely, but once in a blue moon. He shows that he cares and appreciates your help and loyalty.

When he was sent out on a mission to Inazuma, you couldn't come to help him due to unfortunate circumstances. He was pissed to say the least

surprisingly not at you but at the higher ups for not allowing you, his assistant to come

he brought you a souvenier from Inazuma. Nothing much and nothing grand, but it is something from your boss so you treasure it.

Another time you got sick with the flu, at first he was pissed (when is he not 💀🖕) but then at night, he came over to give you some soup

By the Balladeer's words it is to "Make you get better soon so you can work again. I can't manage all this shit by myself"

Which you translated it to "I miss your company and I need your help with my tasks"

Either way you appreciated his kindness.

♤

Scaramouche and you were sent out on a mission together to the chasm. Usually they wouldn't send the harbingers down there, but an important relic from an unknown lost civilization was found, and the fatui wants to study it.

As the 2 of you were down there, all you (other than trying to find the relic) did was listen to his occasional rants and curses to the other harbingers for sending him on this mission.

"Annoyed as always" you rolled your eyes.

When the relic was found and secured safely, the two of you nodded at each other as a sign that you both should head out as soon as possible

Luckily Scaramouche and you didn't run into any enemies which was....

"Strange" you mumbled to yourself, brows furrowed and eyeing the caves

"What is?" taking a glance behind to look at you as he was right in front of you

"It's just that we haven't bumped into any monsters or enemies during our time here." You started

"There's always enemies down here at the chasm"

Scaramouche shrugged at you "Maybe theyre taking a nice long nap, or maybe they know their place and not to mess with us." He was half sarcastic and half serious. Either way, he wasn't bothered by this at all

You nodded at him. Not necessarily because you agree with him

But mainly because you're quite unsettled about the whole situation to the point where you'd just hope he was right

Something must be wrong with the universe because not long after, a mob of hillichurls showed up

Scaramouche groaned, getting ready to fight "Great you jinxed it."

They were just a bunch of hillichurls so it really didn't take long for Scara to handle it while you guard the relic

"Let's just get out of here before I have to deal with those i-" before your boss could finish his sentence an abyss herald showed up

When it showed up, you drew out your weapon getting ready to fight. He was no easy foe and even if you knew Scara could handle it...

Something was telling you thing's were about to go south.

You and him started fighting the Abyss enemy

Scara with his electro powers and you with your (vision of choice)

"Hey (name) fuck off I can handle this myself you know?!" He shouted at you

"No you can't Scaramouche!" You retaliated, not listening to another word he says because you were getting more and more pissed by his antics "Just shut up and let me help!"

With the way you disobeyed his orders AND talk back at him got him taken aback and angry at you

"Why this little bitch!" He wanted to say

Scara just gave the abyss herald an opening to launch an attack at him

"Scara watch out!" Luckily you saw right on time and threw yourself in front of Scara to protect him

The attack was so bad you started coughing out blood from the impact. Everything started to become blurry and you lost your balance and strength, dropping your weapon in the process

Before you blacked out you heard Scara scream out something you couldn't quite make out and then... total darkness.

♤

"Don't you dare leave me here!" Echoed in your mind before you awoke in a bed in a strange place. This wasn't Snezhnaya and you know it.

"Where am I? And who said that sentence when I was asleep?" You asked yourself, slowly sitting up from the bed with a groan.

The door on your right opened and in came your boss

"Scara..!" You managed to say. Your voice came out soft and sort of like a wheeze. The impact of the attack seemed to affect your ability to talk as well

"Shh. Don't talk. The doctor said your vocal cord needs rest." Making his way to your bed, and sat by the edge

You closed your mouth but it was clear you had many questions. Scara frowed a little but started answering the questions he knows you'll anyways

"We're still in Liyue. I managed to carry you out of the chasm and the relic I handed off to some fatui members I saw on the way to the doctor.... and you've been out for 3 days now. I was..." he paused and looked away

"Starting to get worried." You didn't have to see his face to know that his expression softened.

Now it all makes sense, you now know what Scara said before you blacked out.

"Don't you dare leave me here!" It was also the sentence that echoed in your mind while you were asleep.

You knew long ago that the all so scary Balladeer had developed feelings for you. It was the little things he did for you that made you question but today, this whole incident made it clear to you that the 6th Fatui Harbinger harbours feelings for his assistant.

You did as well of course. Even though he was a pain in the ass sometimes, it feels as if no one understand you more than he does, and likewise.

Scooting closer to the harbinger, you brought your hand up to his cheek and made him face you.

He saw your expression and even though you said nothing, he knew what you meant. "I'm not leaving you here."

You both slowly moved closer and kissed each other, removing all the tension in the balladeers shoulder.

──────•❥❥❥•──────

Request

Masterlist here!

[squeakadeeks]

Can I be nosy and ask how you got scurvy. In exchange you can take anything you want from my fridge vegetable drawer

oh totally. the fact that i had scurvy remains one of the weirdest twists in this ol life o' mine.

part of this story is funny, the other part not so funny. (TW EDs)

the not so funny part is I got to the point of developing scurvy in an insanely predictable way. I've had a clinical ED all my adult life and a lot of the PSAs warn you about the surface level stuff like "your hair will fall out!" "you'll be tired all the time!" which....yeah. but if you restrict hard enough and long enough youre basically doing a "stranded on a desert island DIY POV" simulation. not to sugar coat it but I was deeply unwell and doing some absolutely Insane things. i was living hot Sir Ernest Shackleton boy summer. except it wasnt hot it was horrible and Shackleton probably wouldve been deeply disappointed and confused by the whole situation.

but as one would naturally imagine if you are tit for tat nutritionally larping as a castaway, you will. Develop Diseases. I remember suddenly noticing that my teeth looked like straight ass and I was getting mouth sores but I wasnt sure why. I developed a fever for weeks that i couldnt shake, the skin on my hands kept chafing off and my fingers would lock up, in general my skin was really bizzare looking with weird scabs and dark spots, and overall i felt utterly awful. Ive been struggling with this for awhile so some of that was my ""normal"" at the time so I didnt really connect the dots until I was reading something about scurvy and went "haha funny sailor disease" only to pause and realise that with my dietary habits, i hadnt eaten fruit or anything containing vitamin C in well over a full calendar year. this caused me to look up the symptoms of scurvy with dawning horror that this mystery onset of symptoms was disturbingly close to scurvy, prompting me to go to the dr and low and behold I basically had la croix flowing through my veins with how terrible my blood levels were.

I was moving out for grad school within the season and i really didnt want to start that with a goddamn captain hook ass disease so for months I had to macrodose on vitamin C like I was a prized guinea pig. seeing those huge tablets still gives me flashbacks.

what gets funny is literally within the week of learning I had scurvy....I also had a major ocular melanoma scare. of which one of the treatments is to surgically remove the eye and/or have eyepatches involved. so for a few months in the summer of 2021 i was hobbling around with scurvy and an eyepatch on this beautiful green world of ours.

[verysanebsdfan]

Hiii!!

So I really loved your ciel , tokito, and killua x doll reader

So I was wondering if you could do one of a reader who is a absolute angel and looked like one but also has a blood manipulation nen so basically a demon nen and similar to the doll one she says some stories that sometimes disturb our lovely assassin

And also one where reader is very similar to misa misa from death note !! She's a famous model w kira as her nen and she joined the Hunter to try and see what else she could do!!

Ty!!

Hello!!

I assume only with Killua then?

Either way i made this two separate stories, after its done i will link it here too if i remember. Also my hxh oc from 2021 had blood manipulation nen...

You can find the second story here

Also to the nen, i imagine you could both make weapons and stuff (make it not liquid using the iron in blood or smth) and move the blood, idk how to explain it but, when the blood is circulating in your oponents body, you can move it (while its still circulating) and consequently move the body of your oponent.

✩ Okay so to start very uhh originally, you guys met at the hunter exam, so you travel with Gon and him.

✩ Maybe you met during the third phase since you fell into the same room as them

✩ Of course they didn't really trust you at first, since it is the hunter exam and they should be cautious, but when you got stuck in the room for 50 hours, you bonded, since you were the same age as Gon and Killua.

✩ Killua was really impressed by your fight from before, very much wondering how you did what you did. I mean, it was obvious your oponent wouldn't just jump from the platform by himself...

✩ Of course he asked you about it, but you just responded with a smile and a wink

✩ So, after the hunter exam and saving Killua from his creepy ahh family, you went to the Heavens arena and met Zushi and Wing. When Wing gave them the vague and quite incorrect description of nen, that is when it clicked, and he asked you about your abilities.

✩ And you just responded with your angelic smile. Why was he feeling all tingly tho? (¬ ͜ ͡¬)

✩ When you got onto the 200th floor, you actually stood through Hisokas nen, oopsies a mistake, and just went to sign up for a match since you were bored by all those weak people in lower floors.

✩ Now, when Killua and learned the basics of nen and stuff, he invaded your room and started asking questions...

"So i just can...even stop their heart and stuff...i mean, it will beat for a little bit but the blood wont circulate...and then they will pass out and die...If the blood and oxygen supply is cut off, muscle cells of the heart begin to suffer damage and start to die so..." "That's terrifying, you can kill anyone...but can you also, i dunno, help people who are about to bleed out" "I am working on it, but i cannot do miracles, i am not a god nor an angel (debatable)...If the blood gets on the ground as well and i were to put it back inside the persons body, i may very well just kill them...I have yet to learn how to separate blood and bacteria....i mean it is the same as taking out a toy from pool of blood, but just really small...then another problem is getting it into veins...and if i were to stop the bleeding, i might acidentally stop the whole blood circulation, im no doctor though"

✩ And you are just saying it as if you didnt kill people like that...however it is very respectable

✩ And then in Yorknew city he confesses yipee...and then you meet the Phantom troupe😍

✩ Now, Killua sually really worries about you, i mean, you are an angel basically...and people are pigs, predators...animals...but luckily you can protect yourself SO!!

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

Idk what to say anymore...not happy with this at all

[decodedlvr]

the band-aid to my wounds

Older!Eddie Munson x naive!Fem reader - eventual twins Steve Harrington x reader x Kurt Kunckle series| pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 … TBC

Summary: After stumbling into an old barn after being stranded by your freshly new ex boyfriend, you wake up strangely in a room..that isn't yours..

warnings: talks of cheating, abuse, angst, slight stockholm syndrome at a glance, anxiety, childhood trauma, parent problems; daddy issues, eventual smut, cursing, drinking, smoking, perviness, slight dub-con, miscommunications, blood mention

word count: idk? 1k?

June 12th, 1988 the roads were closed off.

I have no idea why im still together with this asshole, why am i so stupid? oh because id do anything for people to love and not leave me. Looking at him now..hands beating the steering wheel, veins popping through his temples..not to mention his breath. Ashton my oh so loving, narcissist, no good boyfriend. We've been together for 6 years, basically high school sweethearts. Went from flirty glaces, to lab partners, to collage students with an alcohol addiction. Mainly his addiction...he got me started on it.

Ashton basically took me in with his fatherly like protectiveness when we first got together. He was walking me to my front door after a bowling date he asked me out to my sophomore year, of course i said yes.; until the front door opened. Uh oh, dads home; Bill. The moment the door opened i watched my father tackle Ashton to the ground without so much as a reason screaming words like "get off my property, boys like you should be dead in a gutter, ill kill you"...

Lets just say that date night was a bit too eventful for my liking.

My dad always had a problem with Ashton because he went to highschool with his father. Ashtons dad was a bully back in the day, made my dads life a living hell.. took everything away from him. the girl, the looks, the job..

Dave, Ashtons father, was caught making out with Shannon, my dads ex lover but also first love. Dave knew he had the upper hand when it came to getting the things he wanted. Hell, Shannon seduced him into it. Shannon was only with my dad for the money. Got knocked up but gave him the baby and ran away to be with his dad. As you can see I am that baby now today.

I made a promise to Ashton after sneaking him to my bedroom window that same night cleaning his wounds; that it was me and him against the world. He knew about me and my parents relationship. How my step-mother only has good things to say about me in a room full of people, but how she degrades me behind closed doors. How my dads drinking problem gave him alcohol poisoning, twice' and about his anger problems. You'd think being in a household that is always loud would help you shape up to loud sounds in the future. Boy was that theory proven wrong.

anytime someone yells or raises their tone, you're immediately in fight or flight response. tense..anxious. You hate going to basketball games just for that reason. Its uncomfortable.. and he knew that, but apparently in this moment, he didn't give a fuck-

"Did you hear me??" Ashton says impatiently. "No im sorry, i cant hear when you mumble.." you reply

you also hated when people uttered things under their breath.

dad does that shit.

"Don't be smart with me y/n, ill leave you right here,right now in the middle of the fucking road

"Yeah whatever Ashton, just stop talking to me and drive" feeling the breaks pull forward and in a flash he was out of the drivers seat, and already pulling you out of the passenger-

"WHAT THE FUCK" i yell- what the fuck are you doing Ashton?”

“Shut up!” he smacks me. Your eyes widen in more shock than fear over anything. “Did you j-just hit me?” i ask with a scratched voice--

“I told you more than once not to back talk me didnt i?”

“i didn’t.. it was once and i stopped ashton”-

-“You’ve done it all goddamn night, accusing me of cheating, clinging onto me when i ran into Tommy, i told you to give me some fucking space --i interrupt him.

“YOU did cheat on me you asshole!! That bitch was fucking bragging about it in the bathroom”—

“Do you really think after what 4 years-“6 actually“ i say pissing him off further. he looks at you angrily

He sighs. “Do you really think after years of being together, i would do that to you?” he say looking down at the ground sadly; making you instatly regret your words

“..no-no of course not i just thou”-

-“You thought wrong! he snaps-I would never do that to you baby..y/n?” he says letting go of the grip on my arms, caressing my cheek-“..I know you get a little confused sometimes, its okay come here” he says pulling you into a deep hug

“..im sorry ash”-

“shh” he coos.

“I really thought—what the fuck is that?” you shove him away

“Y-you piece of shit!!” you pull around back collar piece of his shirt up to his face; showing him the peach colored lipstick stain

“Are you fucking serious Ashton?” his eyes widen and stomach drops when he sees the prominent evidence of his past events—

“B-baby look-“

“No! fuck you were done!”

He grabs me closer, “No we fucking arent- ive gave you everything! he starts shouting making you flinch

P-please stop yelling at me! you plea tears rolling down your face

“Just—here” he opens the car door “just get back in and ill explain on the way”—

“No.” you shove past him running and crying

“Y/N come back here!. its too dark—

“ i dont care leave me alone!”

“Y/n theres crazy people out here..!”

you stop in your tracks, turning back to say- “You’re the crazy person!”

he laughs. “Oh im crazy? Ill show you fuckin crazy”—he says marching over to the drivers side of the car starting it back up—mumbling ill show you a fucking crazy person babe—and he spees off

you cant believe he actually just left you.. standing here.

“ASSHOLE!” you shout regulardess if hes still there or not, turning back around to walk down the cold empty road

are you fuckig kidding me?

wow he fooled me

how didnt i see this before

did he love me?

he says he does

then why did he leave me..

fucking jerk!!

The long 7 mile walk with a head full of shitty thoughts walk you to a sun burnt orange barn.

you're exhausted. your hearts broken. your feet hurt. its too dark to keep walking

"I mean i could crash here right?" you say already walking towards the musky building

hay bells, chickens, tools. looks already owned

you dont care you just need a place to rest you head for a bit.

stinks in here. muttering to yourself, opening and shutting the barn door behind you.

perfect you say spotting an old rocking chair..and yard sale signs?

does somebody live here?

you're too exhausted to think any more tonight

this'll do. taking your jacket off to use as a prop pillow, climbing into the chair almost immediately drifting off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whats that smell? smells like bacon?

bacon? your eyes are still shut but you can sense a different environment around you. Fluttering your eyes open.. a clock? pictures? what?-jumping up at the sound of a shoe

"WHO ARE YOU?" your already in flight or fight mode

"Whoa whoa its okay, im the owner of the barn i found you in”.

is he lying?

"YOU'RE LYING!" you look around in a panic

"Sweetheart if i was lying, how come i specifically found you in my rocking chair, you must of been tired, i got my buddy who also runs the farm to scoop you up and bring you to our guest bedroom, couldn't just leave a woman out in the open like that.. especially at night"

your stomach knots when he calls you sweetheart.

okay maybe he harmless, just very kindly harmless?

"Here" he throws his arm out, "I'm Eddie, Eddie Munson."

- - is this interesting so far? lmk- -

reblogs appreciated:>

[pepsiiwho]

new wip yaay

"Meli"

"Icarus"

"can I ask you what you're doing"

she pokes as his palm, twisting the hand in her own and tracing the lines between fingers and wrist. Little valleys bend under her nailbed, denting and flattening as she pulls the calloused skin taut and then rippling as she pinches. "Nothing in particular." Mindlessly she flips his hand once again, interlocking their hands and feeling his warmth on her cold fingers. He's bigger then her and his hands dwarf her own, but they're blunt and round where her fingers, envoked with wickedness and magick, are thin and pointed. Knuckles knocking together and soft, almost human skin pulses against her perfectly unblemished arm. She counts his veins, amazed in how they texture the body even without blood flowing through them. She feels painfully boring compared to the map of life etched onto every crevice and plane of Icarus.

"Not that I don't enjoy this, I so do, but can I have my hand back?"

"whatever for?"

"I was in the middle of a sketch"

"I didnt take your dominant hand, Icarus."

"no, worse. You took my lifelong paper weight, Meli." He leans in, kissing the back of her hand and smiling. His lips crease and she feels it, in the detached sort of way she feels everything with her left arm. Oddly, it burns.

naturally she lets go, willing the flames to quiet. In the wake she feels tingles up her spine, embers falling to the ground after a fire poked and prodded at, surely.

she sighs, pushing the thoughts from her mind. "Brother has been in a bad mood lately"

"which one?"

"I only have one brother, Icarus"

"excuse me for forgetting that with the way you parade two around, Meli"

[zmb1eslut]

Never healing wounds.

convinced myself I was alone.

word count: 535

warnings: animal violence, threats.

a/n: Luke Castellan's POV. First draft.

Another night without an ounce of sleep, because the summer air costumes itself as the warmth of Thalia's fingers wrapped around my arm when we hid together. And I can't both breathe and drawn on the shame. I was not enough to save her.

I draw the bow I borrowed, using the moonlight as a guide.

The best swordman in the last 300 hundred years. Yeah, get the last one for me and I'll show him why I'm tired of his fucking shadow. Distracting myself with just a dumb title to forget why I even pretend to care. She left it all for me. Us. And Annabeth is still here, and new children come every year. Everyone needs this guy. He's so much fucking fun. Worth dying over, apparently.

So die.

I shot without a warn and didnt move until the bird smashed itself on the ground. And as it's blood drained onto the dirt mine started flowing through my veins like it hadn't for a long time. I felt like myself again, just a moment. When survival meant killing, in a way, every day. To eat, to breathe, regret.

I kill myself everyday for them to live. Watch me care.

And watching me she was. I wasn't sure if I wanted to bother with awknowledgment or explanations. She was kinda nuts on her own way but never spoke out of place. Maybe she would just go back to cabin eleven, twirl her hair for another edgy prick's attention and leave me alone this once.

I hoped.

And I was wrong for doing so.

"Why?" She asked, seating nearby on the floor.

It almost made me laugh. She had a way of sucking with words that made me wonder if maybe it was me who didn't tuned in correctly. Always lacking some fundamental sense. She made me feel like I was going mad. And for cringy it felt to think, just her presence made me wanna punch a wall, a sweet way to say, strangle the voice out of her throat until the lack of air turned off the last of her half-assed idiotic thoughts forever.

"Why what?" I asked prepping for the next blow.

"Why not just use your hands?"

'It doesn't scratch me right' was my first thought. Did it even make sense? Was it even true? It was a weird question to make so I shouldn't worry that much anout a good answer. Still I did, I kept trying to aim as an excuse to not speak yet. And eventually I had no running away. "It would feel inhuman." I admitted, maybe to myself before shooting the nest.

"You aren't one." She said, and when I turned to look at her over my shoulder, she was fixed on the broken eggs like I was a moment ago. I wasn't human she said, and somehow I was many people's favorite.

"I'm at least a half." Was my first clever retort as I tried to not let her words dig too deep in my thoughts.

"So, less than one."

"I'm never 'less than'" And silence.

My night was already spoiled so I went to retrieve the arrows, put it all back on it's place, run away, hide under my sheets and never truly sleep. To wake up tomorrow and held a funeral for the bird on the floor after some camper reaches for me with teary eyes. Bury it deeply with the guilt and shame, wash it from my hands in front of everyone, and be a hero like every other day.

"Can I shoot?" She stopped me.

"I'll rather have someone teach you on daylight" Literally anyone at any point that isn't me and isn't now.

"But if I wait I'll get no chance of it being you will I?" At least she didn't played dumb. I had to sigh either way though. Was she so bad at getting cues. Yes. It won't ever be me If I have a choice, still I smiled, I wasn't a stone.

"Not my grounds, no."

"Then just guide me like they do in romances."

"Why exactly?"

"It'll make me feel alive."

[xincountry]

in light of recent events (bllk manga 282 - 283. im crazy about them) i wanted to post a part of the rinsagi zombie apocalypse au i was writing for bllk halloweek (and didnt finish. oops)

implied major character death, rinsagi typical freakishness, descriptions of a zombie bite wound. also guns

The zombie bites a huge chunk off Isagi's shoulder.

Rin punctures the zombie in the head with a bullet—feeling rage melt into dread, as Isagi crumples on the floor, clutching his bleeding shoulder with a hand. Blood spills all over it, trickling down and pooling at his elbow, a slow and painful drip, and Rin cannot feel his legs when he rushes to Isagi's side.

"I have you," Rin says, even though he can already spot the signs of Isagi losing himself, the hyperventilating, skin growing cold under Rin's touch. The sweat everywhere.

How everyone keeps leaving; Sae, Bachira, and now—

Rin brings his mouth to Isagi’s wound.

Isagi hisses. “What are you doing, you idiot?”

Rin doesn’t hear, doesn’t care. He sucks as much of Isagi’s blood as he can from the wound, almost drinking it, infection on his tongue, and at some point it gets too much, maybe. He spits it out on the sidewalk beside them.

Isagi groans, back arching, either away from Rin’s mouth or into it—and Rin wishes he was, wishes for vastly different circumstances. Wishes that this wound was one he made. “This won’t work, Rin. It’s an infection. Either kill me now, or run—”

“I’m not letting you turn before me,” Rin says, voice hoarse. There’s blood on his lips. There’s blood in his mouth. “You promised you would kill me. You have to be the one to do it.”

“Didn’t you say—you would, too? Kill me?” Isagi says. "You promised."

Rin closes his eyes, breathing heavily. His mouth hovers over Isagi’s wound. Blood and iron and rot. He imagines Isagi Yoichi, with purple veins and discoloured skin, green and grey and black in places that aren’t supposed to be. Eyes white.

An Isagi less alive. An Isagi less interesting. An Isagi reduced to a lump of mindless flesh.

Rin bites his cheek. “I lied. I can’t do it.” I can’t look at you like that.

“Do you realise what you’re asking of me, then? Rin, get up,” and Isagi pulls on Rin’s hair, even if the strength of it is weakened by the bite. “Get up, Rin! You have a life after me. You have a life beyond me. Live it.” Isagi growls.

“No!” and Rin is startled with how much he means it. Isagi must be too. He’s still beautiful: wide-eyed, despite the wound on his shoulder. Looking at him like biting into a cyanide pill, a heart-stopping brain death.

“If you turn, I turn. That’s my new rule. My new promise.” Rin brings his mouth to Isagi’s wound, lapping at it, ignoring the taste of metal on his tongue. Urging everything into his bloodstream. Wants to cauterise the wound with his own tongue. Wants to be burnt by him. These are the things that have made him stronger, before—wanting to have an effect on Isagi, wanting to be affected by Isagi. These are the things that will be his undoing.

There’s a hand in Rin’s hair, gently stroking, and then pulling him up into a kiss. Isagi heaves a heavy sigh, and Rin captures the feeling of life on his lips. Blood and saliva—Isagi licks into his mouth, like trying to clear Rin of the infection. Salvation. Once, Rin had wished for something like this: for someone to save him.

Rin feels Isagi push cold metal into his palm, and then guide his hand to the side of his temple. Isagi’s hands are cold and wet with blood and rotting. It’s hard to swallow.

“Close your eyes,” he hears Isagi whisper. His face is so close, flushed and pale at the same time, and Rin desires to commit it to memory. “It’s like you’re simply teaching me how to aim. Remember?”

The things Rin has seen of zombies—of humans, turning, that moments before it they turn delirious. Manic, even. And Isagi is here, purpling veins, cold sweat, bleeding, and still coherent, if to just tell Rin to kill him.

It's that easy, Rin hears himself say in a memory, revolver in hand—Isagi's, Rin remembers—before it became his. The makeshift target infront of them with a bullet through the head. What Rin means, now: It's that so easy to lose someone.

Maybe Isagi closes his eyes. Rin wouldn't know, because he's closed his too.

The gunshot that follows is the most deafening sound for miles.

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

CHAPTER 17: SAINTS AND SINNERS

WC: 5560

warnings: death, blood, mentions of 🍇, sa, violence, drugs, murder etc.

prev chapter

***

Yaera

"santo falcone made me give anya the drugs that killed her."

im sitting in my living room with my parents, with our legal representative sitting beside me. i knew this would happen, my parents quizzed me all night on my whereabouts and demanded to know the truth. even though the "truth" was not what they liked, i kept calm and let myself be questioned. the entire stance is that i have nothing to hide after all.

but that doesnt mean they believed me.

it was an uphill battle, getting to this part. even as they sit and look at me, i see the cloud of doubt in their eyes. they dont believe me at all.

"and what was your relationship like with the deceased?" the investigating officer asks me.

"they simply modelled together," my mother butt in before i could answer. "anya was three years yaera's senior. they did not see each other often."

the investigative officer looks at me for confirmation. i nod.

"and the last time you saw the deceased?"

"at an organized event," i say. "my parents and everyone was there. its where santo made me give the drugs to her. she took some infront of me and was fine."

"what was the behaviour of the victim like?"

victim? my parents told me anya's death was immediately ruled a drug overdose. she had that shit all in her veins. why is it that we're using words such as "victim". it implies someone other than herself was involved.

but i guess now with my story, thats the angle we're going with.

"she was like herself...a little more erratic than usual. she was excited to see me."

"and why is that?"

"we were friends?"

the investigative officer hums and writes something down on his notepad. i look to my lawyer who shakes her head, assuring me we have nothing to worry about.

"i thought you didnt know each other that well?"

"it feels like youre trying to look for a story where there is none, officer min. my client has done nothing wrong. shes an 18 year old girl who was coerced by a man in position of power," my lawyer says firmly.

"miss irina muñoz and miss claire galizia alleges that miss marino sold miss jelavić bags of pills that she mixed with cocaine, which then resulted in her death. that is a serious claim which has to be looked into. drug trafficking carries more of a weight than possession."

"i dont know why they would say that. ive never been on any drugs," i say. "ive done some underage drinking, but thats it. santo manages those girls, he feeds their drug habits. i dont know anything about this!"

"according to mr and mrs marino, both miss muñoz and miss galizia have been admitted for drug abuse in the past. they were forgiven because mr and mrs marino have known them since they were girls. it is possible that they have relapsed and fed lies while under drug induced psychosis. they are models and are often overworked, im sure you know how things are, mr min?" my lawyer added in.

"hmmm." the officer gets up from my parents couch and tucks his pen into the pocket of his suit.

"i'll be in contact, mr and mrs marino. i'll have to contact mr falcone for his piece on this. so far we have opposing accounts from both parties, which proves there is dispute. we'll open a docket soon."

the officer leaves our home, and i swear my parents breathe for the first time. my father is pinching the bridge of his nose. i dont know how to feel. they're going to open a case.

i cried when i realized anya was really gone. of course i cared about her. the tears stopped when i realized irina and claire ratted me out for no goddamn reason. i didnt feed her those fcking drugs. she was on hard shit regardless of my involvement.

"dont worry, they have nothing on you," my lawyer says and smiles at me. "the most he can do is apply for a warrant to search your house and the judge loves me, i'll make sure it doesnt get approved. as for now, dont go anywhere, you might be under surveillance, your hang out spots may be under surveillance as well. if you have any digital footprint relating to the sale of paraphernalia, let me know immediately."

my digital footprint was an old nokia phone with no gps, untraceable calls and no real existence because i smashed that phone to bits in san's apartment and scattered its remains on my way home.

"can i talk to you ms kim?" i ask her.

"call me dahyun."

"speak infront of us," my mother demands.

i shake my head. "no, im sorry. i really need a moment alone with her."

my mother looks at me enraged. "a moment alone–?"

"its fine, mrs marino," dahyun says with a smile. "im sure she just wants peace of mind."

i take her up to my room, where ive started to fucking stress. she sits down on my bed and looks at me with concern.

"are you worried about something, yaera?"

"no ones gonna know what we speak about, right? even if you find out im guilty?"

dahyun straightens herself and gives me a stern look. "there is complete confidentiality between a client and her lawyer. if you are guilty, i will always act in your best interests. its my job to always secure the best outcome for you, yaera."

"okay. can calls be recorded? on an old nokia phone?"

"no, but cellphone records can be kept and found through the nearest cell tower. this only gives you a general location of where the call was made though, not who its from or what was discussed on the call. they're usually kept for 6 months to 2 years. why? is there something youre worried about?"

im relieved, but tears start to pool in my eyes from i dont know what. i flick them off my cheek quickly.

"i had a call with the girls about the drugs on a second phone, which i destroyed after i found out anya overdosed. i just dont wanna look more guilty," i say weakly.

"its fine, yaera. thank you for being honest about it. you dont worry about looking guilty, that man coerced you. and coercion is a valid defense. is there anything else i should know about him?"

i tell her about that night. i let it all spill out. his attempt to assault me, what he did to me and my sister for years. by the end of it, dahyun is looking at me like i gave her a solid case.

"thank you for that, yaera. im sorry to hear about what happened with you and your sister. i should get working on this case as soon ASAP," she says, picking up her briefcase. "i'll keep in touch."

dahyun leaves my room and my parents are quick to barge in. i dont know if they were close by the entire time, but they were properly angry by the time they got to me.

"do you have any idea what you have gotten us into?" my mother says. "we will have to go against santo!"

there it is, the rush. the rush of getting out of here. the glimpse of hell that is being under their scrutiny and scope once again. ive had a good streak of behaving so far. its a pity anya had to break it.

my mother looks at my hopelessly. "really yaera?" she sighs. "please, please if you gave that girl the drugs, just admit it to us."

"this is going to disappear in 2 weeks anyway," my father adds on. "you might as well tell the truth."

they really think i did it. its laughable. i havent once had a run in with drugs. ive had a problem with smoking and drinking, but not once have i put my nose to a counter or even touched a joint. they know this, and yet they think its still possible.

"so you think i did it?" i smile bitterly. "you really think im capable of it?"

believing seasoned druggies over me. god, they hurt my heart.

"for what reason would irina and claire have to lie, yaera? they are your friends!" my mother snaps, fed up. "for gods sake! please, just spare us all and tell the truth, yaera. i dont know what to do with you anymore, really. you have hurt this family over and over."

"we give you EVERYTHING!" she cries out, actual tears rolling down her face. "and you do this to us. every single time its like our name means nothing to you!"

seeing my mother cry fills me up with rage i didnt even know i could pull out of me.

"fuck your family name," i seethe. my parents stare at me in utter shock. "your family name meant nothing when you chose santo over believing me. so many fucking times, you refused to go against him. you dont even realize how much YOU have hurt us by putting us under the eyes of that man. that fucking predator, do you even know what hes done to me? to US?"

"he tried to rape me. he tried to fucking rape me the night of that event. he had a whole relationship with yasmine when she was alive. when i stopped modelling, it was because he kept fucking molesting me. and you didnt see it, OVER AND OVER IT WAS INFRONT OF YOU. MY SHAME. MY FEAR. I WAS IN PAIN AND ALL YOU CARED ABOUT WAS THE FACT THAT I DIDNT WANT TO MODEL FOR YOU ANYMORE. FUCK YOU!"

throughout my rant, my screaming just got worse until i was left a sobbing mess. my parents just stood there like the lackluster humans they are. useless. disappointing. utterly unhelpful.

"what do you say now?" i laugh through my tears. "nothing to say about your perfect little santo?"

"he...he tried to..." my father stutters. and its the first time in my whole life he doesnt speak with conviction.

"yes, pàpa. he tried to hurt me. he almost succeeded."

and he would have. if san hadnt walked through those doors. and after that, i would have honestly killed myself.

my mother breaks down sobbing and drops down on my bed, holding her head in her hands. it isnt enough for me to see her like this. i feel nothing towards her.

"why did you never tell us?" my father asks. "really yaera, why?"

"why would i tell you anything. ask yourself if you are really good parents. if i can come to you for anything besides money and a way out of jail."

"that is not fair," my father says, shaking his head. "we have given you everything."

"but you did not keep me safe," i whisper defeatedly. "not from him. not even yasmine."

my father finds a spot on my carpet to stare at and i see a single tear drop stain the folds. i cant stand to see them process it. if they cant handle it, imagine how i felt.

all those times. over and over.

i wipe my face with the back of my hand and straighten myself. "i told dahyun everything. she'll use it to take him down," i say and walk to my door, grabbing a jacket off the hanger and shrugging it on.

"dont wait up for me. im not coming home tonight."

they dont try to stop me from leaving. i dont think they'll be able to, ever again.

***

san

wooyoung and i hang out on the rooftop of mao's club, overlooking the dried out city infront of us. wooyoung leisurely sips on a beer as he leans on the parapet, staring at the late afternoon sun over his sunglasses as though we're in some movie.

that's the thing with him really. he romanticized this gang life so often that i think he forgot how far things can go. how bad it can get. wooyoung was never the kind of guy to think things through till it was too late. he thought things wrapped up on their own, just like in the movies.

i used to get angry as hell at him. he was in this gang longer than me, yet we didnt see things the same way at all. its like he never really feared for his life, because in his head he'd never lose it. he was the main character with plot armour.

watching yunho die was the nail in the coffin. that illusion shattered completely.

"are you sure with taking on everything yourself?" woo asks me. "i dont want that shit on your conscience man. i fucked up, it shouldnt have to be you."

me doing it myself was the only way i'd be satisfied that we'd have a job well done. "i told you it wont bother me. i just want to get this shit over with, i'll get over whatever guilt i feel."

thats to say if i'll even feel guilty. i think the world would be safer without that hongjoong fucker walking around.

woo takes a swig of his beer, gulping it loudly. he takes off his glasses and tosses it aside, turning to look at me solemnly.

"im sorry for everything man. i know i probably ruined your life."

i pat his shoulder lightly and sigh. "dont take all the credit. you know that's my old man's work. we cant take back what happened. lets just work on making it out alive."

woo looks like he wants to cry with how his face scrunches, but no tears come. "i didnt think we'd separate so early. i knew you'd have to leave me to do some big boy job...but this isnt how i wanted things to end."

wooyoung in hong kong and me in cuba. i think its safe to say neither of us are ever going to see each other again. it makes my chest hurt.

"i'd rather have us apart than have us both dead over some bullshit like this," i say, hoping it comforts him. ive never been good at this whole talking about your feelings thing.

woo snorts and looks at his hands absentmindedly. "at least you won't be alone right? i guess this girl must be the real deal, sticking with you till the end."

i dont even want to smile about it. it comforts me a lot, knowing i wont be alone. knowing she'll be there till the end.

but then i imagine a few months from now. we make it out alive. we make it to cuba. yaera and i are together there. somehow shit goes sideways and she ends up in deeper shit. a crossfire she shouldnt be apart of.

that night when i left her, i pictured her dead body full of stab wounds and bullet holes. it made me physically ill. i couldnt even speak to her normally after that. my fear was paralysing.

"if i could, i'd leave her behind," i admit. "just to keep her safe."

knowing her, she'd kill me for it. and possibly never forgive me. just like me, yaera doesnt have much to live for here. ive seen her life and i'd run away from it as much as her if i had to go through all of that. our current reality was already considered the past. and even if we returned to it, nothing would be there for us anymore.

her and i were each others futures. despite everything, the way we started off and where we were now, i cant say i regret meeting her. i think shes the only thing that saved me from ending it all as soon as things were going bad. the one person who cared enough to bother me in every way, yeah she had her motives, but i know at some point, things like that stopped mattering.

we saw the worst parts of each other and yet...yet we still chose to go through all of this together. she had a choice. she couldve left whenever she wanted. but she never did. that soothed something in me. something i didnt realize i was always afraid of.

i think yaera marino saved me.

"you love her, huh?" woo hums. i know just from the mention of that word that my face is red because it feels warm. "i think she loves you too."

"i dont know. all i know is, i'd kill anyone that tried to hurt her. she'd do the same for me. thats what i know."

woo rolls his eyes at me. i know he thinks im a lost cause emotionally but hes not the one that gets to talk. i dont know what half my feelings are, all i know is i have them, they choke me up sometimes. sometimes they make me feel really weak and soft. i wont go slapping a label on everything, like that label would make things more sensible to me.

"i want you to see me off," woo says, thankfully changing the subject from yaera. "at the abandoned shipyard. after everything. least we should be able to do is say goodbye."

"so i get to see you off but you wont see me off at the airport," i halfjoke. "you're a real leech, you know that?"

woo smiles, its something of a defeated one. because thats really what we are–defeated. once we leave, everything will go to shit. im just glad i wont be leaving any family behind to possibly get hurt. and the one person i care about is coming with me.

"damn. after we do this, Miss A is going to get so much shit from the Black Dragons. shit is going to be all out war."

"no turning back now," i sigh. i cant say that i care too much about inconveniencing Miss A. she ruined my fucking life. she kind of deserves to sit with a mess. "plus, im sure she can find another lackey to help clean up whatever when we're gone. our errand-boy days are clean over."

woo shrugs. "we're helping her though, right? taking out the 2 biggest problems in the Black Dragons. this is the only way we'll send a real message."

fuck the message. i couldnt care less. i just wanted to give that witch what she wanted, take the money i made then disappear.

"no matter what, we're in this together. we started this mess together, that's how we'll end it," i tell him. wooyoung smiles at me, holding out his beer toward me. i dont resist, taking it by the neck and gulping down the rest of it. it burns my throat and i toss the bottle to the ground.

"hong kong is gonna be lame without you," woo whines. "mao's boys are gonna have me speaking fucking cantonese. im gonna have to roll with a whole new crew. you know how batshit those triads are?"

"hey, just imagine it'll be just like that video game you like," i tease him. "whats it called? watch dogs?"

"sleeping dogs," woo corrects me with a glare. "and fuck no. the main character's friend dies at the end, i am not trying to be like him."

well that was dark. "you'll play the story differently. way better."

"shut up. youre trying to hype me up when youre gonna be out there playing house with your woman. fucking cuba? you're knocking her ass up in a few months, i can already tell."

"i cant have kids right now," i mutter. though, it wouldnt stop me from trying. "i think the both of us just want peace. i'll see if she still cares about me when i dont bring any danger to her life anymore."

woo snorts. "if you're still looking for proof, you're a blind and deaf man."

my phone buzzes in my pocket. i completely wanted to toss it but i knew Miss A would start tripping and sending minions of her own after us if she couldnt reach me of all people. i expect messages from her, but all of them are from yaera.

i feel my head spinning reading it. she tells me that one of her friends died overdosing on our drugs and that she'll take care of everything. she has the nerve to tell me not to stress afterward, she booked the flight tickets, and that shes sleeping at my apartment tonight. at the end she tells me not to come home because theres a chance she might be under surveillance.

what the fuck?

"did she tell you shes pregnant or something?" woo nosily asks. i look up from my phone and scowl at him. he shrugs. "hey! i know you guys have been going at it like rabbits. i can see it on your aura."

"shut the fuck up woo, oh my god," i groan and show him the messages. woo shakes his head, looking both impressed and disturbed.

"i gotta say man, ive never seen two people more compatible. both your lives are absolutely shit. with the way you guys live, i can never guess what the hells going to happen next. least she gave you a heads up."

"you're one to talk," i fire back. "and as if that makes me worry less."

now i would have all of that in the back of my mind. one of mao's gangsters comes through the roof access door and calls for us to come down. our movie bonding cinematic scene was over i guess.

***

yaera

santo has never stopped trying to contact me since anya died. he probably heard i was throwing him under the bus, and now he wanted the truth. i'd give him that and more.

my phone rings again while i loiter around san's apartment, looking around for anyone suspicious. theres a telephone booth nearby, and i walk to it, punching in a coin as i dial his number.

"pronto?" santo answers.

"hey, its yaera," i say, and for a moment theres a brief pause before santo starts breathing heavily.

"tesoro..." still calling me that, arent you? "im so sorry for what happened at the gala...but what you are doing now...it is unforgivable. i cant allow it."

"you're right, santo," i sigh into the speaker, watching the cars blankly pass me by. "i really am sorry. my head is a mess, i cant handle anya's death and everything is confusing."

"why did you blame me?" he sounds hurt. what a fucking lunatic. "i would never hurt her. or you, or anyone?"

i smile, my hand gripping the phone tighter. "i want to fix things," i tell him. "can i see you, please?"

he pauses. i can imagine his fucked up smile behind the screen. "did it really take anya dying for you to finally say you want to see me?"

"get me at the old park tonight at eleven. on 78th avenue. i'll explain everything."

"why at a park? let me take you to dinner."

"i might be under surveillance, santo. and you might be too. i want us to talk with no interference, im scared of what it will look like if anyone sees us."

he sighs. "yes you are right... i will see you tonight. i look forward to sorting this out, tesoro."

"me too. ciao." i dont wait for him to answer back and slam the phone back into its holder. some old guy behind me looks at me strangely and i make my way up to san's apartment.

when i get there, i start making myself some eggs. when im in the kitchen, i noticed some of his fish died. san's been gone for a while so he hasnt replaced the water or fed them, and only one is left swimming around the tank. i watch as it slowly cruises in the greying water, all the dead mollys floating at the top of the tank.

tragic.

with all the bad shit thats been going on, i feel as clearheaded as can be. its scary to me, how calm i am at this very moment. a knock on the door holds back my foreboding thoughts and i go and check who it is.

i open the door slightly, seeing an asian man behind it. immediately as im looking at him, i know hes bad news. probably one of san's other gang members. fuck it, i know hes going to get mad at me for not listening to him about coming here.

"hello?" the man says, sounding confused. "sorry, does choi san live here?"

"no sorry," i smile despite my growing nerves. "i think you have the wrong apartment."

"huh..." the guy smiles, and its unsettling. "so you live here? whats your name?"

"i cant just give out my name to strangers, amore," i flash a flirty smile to throw him off. "i'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"my name's hongjoong," the guy's smile grows and i have to stop mine from fading. i know hes not one of san's guys. in fact, i think hes the reason they have to go missing.

showing straight up to his apartment? was he going to kill san? does he know about me?

"thats a cute name. im marina," i hold out my hand and he shakes it firmly. "well hongjoong, i cant help you. but i hope you find who you're looking for."

"i hope so too, sweetheart. you have a good day."

hongjoong starts walking away and i dont go back into the apartment until i see him disappear into the lift. when hes out of view, i quickly lock the door and call san. it irritates me when he doesnt answer, and i decide to drop it because i know hes going to force me to leave the apartment.

that guy was going to kill san. but what the fuck did he think was going to happen, was he just going to show up and shoot him? come in and have some tea first?

god we have to get the hell out of here. these problems are becoming bigger than us. throughout the night i check the door to make sure hongjoong doesnt return, having done my research on him on san's slow ass wifi. the fact that i was flirting with someone who would have driven a machete clean into my gut is insane, but probably on brand for me.

san answers me when im getting ready to leave. i put on his hoody and mask, along with his black beanie. he calls me persistently right as im about to leave.

"hello?"

"why the fuck are you still there yaera?" san snaps at me instantly. "god, cant you listen to me for once? what if hes waiting for you there? what if he follows you?"

i cant guarantee that he wont, but i cant let him feel right. "he wants you, san. not me."

"hes a gangster!" san sounds like hes going to burst a vein. "a ruthless killer. and you're close to me, you dont think he'd rip you away from me on the spot?"

i sigh, at least i know he gives a fuck on whether i live or die now. "i know, i know. im leaving right now."

"its almost eleven, where the hell are you going?"

"to meet santo."

"what?"

san's voice in deep in confusion and its because i havent told him. was never planning to. this is something i needed to do alone.

"i want you to come get me tonight. can you do that?" i ask hopefully. "i cant go back home. not with everything going on."

"yaera..." san groans. "fuck. fine. where should woo and i pick you up?"

"outside the park. i need you to come as soon as you can."

"what are you going to do?"

"you'll know once i see you. bye, take care."

i hang up, and i know its fucked up but i need to be in the right head space. sans been my grounding force for a while, but i know i'll never be at peace with that fucker still being around. i need to end it all.

the park is dark and quiet, the faint light of the streetlamps barely making a dent in the darkness. the sounds of my converse crunching on the grass are accompanied by owls and the chirping of crickets, and the full moon is the the brightest thing in the sky. there arent even any clouds.

i take my seat on a bench near a lamp that looks like its on its last life. no ones around. i figured there'd be at least one ranger roaming, but i guess tonight was my lucky night.

no witnesses. just me and him.

santo emerges from the darkness, wearing a suit and his shitty fade is the first thing i see. he pauses in his tracks when he sees me, his face unreadable. i stand up and lower my mask, then i tuck my hands inside san's hoodie for warmth.

"tesoro," he says breathlessly. "how good to finally get you alone."

"you too," i say but dont move. neither does he.

"i didnt want things to be this way," he says. "really, throughout everything i just wanted to love you. and i wanted you to love me."

"like yasmine loved you?" i scoff with a wry smile.

his face falls. i cant believe he thinks i dont fucking know.

he laughs, genuinely shocked. "and where does that come from?"

"you were seeing her the whole time you were molesting me. only difference is, she fucking liked your attention. unlike me who'd rather die than be under your filthy gaze. i know everything. you probably killed her, didnt you?" i daringly say.

he stands there, his face darkening with my every word. its like hes remembering it all.

"so why did you do it?" i ask when he doesnt respond. "did she threaten to expose you for the trash you are?"

"i would never hurt anyone–"

"you tried to fucking rape me!" i scream. "more than once. you're capable of fucking anything!"

"i was trying to love you," he corrects me and starts coming closer. he stops right infront of me, his breath almost fanning my face.

"but you were always an ungrateful bitch and could never accept anything good. you deserve nothing. at least your sister was an angel. you? you are rotten, yaera. your eyes are empty. you have no light inside you."

"you took it from me," i seethe. "you took fucking everything from me."

he chuckles lowly, daring to smile in my face as he looks me up and down. "not everything. i still havent made you feel like a woman."

crazy how he thinks someone as hot as me is still a virgin.

"you've made me feel like nothing," i say. "you ruined me. youre a fucking rapist and a pedophile."

"really?" he tilts his head to the side. "well, if youre so ruined, then we must throw broken toys in the trash, dont you think?"

in a flash, santo grabs my face, maneuvering me around so he can choke me out with his elbow. i gasp at the sudden movement, clawing at his arm as he applies pressure.

"you want to know what happened to your sister?" he grits through his teeth. "fine, i'll take you to the same place as her. maybe you'll be happy with me then."

i reach back for his clothes, kicking the air hard till he swings me wildly. santo smacks into a tree with his back and momentarily loses his grip on me, and i grip the back of his suit into a fist before flipping him over my body and onto the floor. he tries to stand up but i stomp on his chest, pulling san's gun from the pocket of his hoodie. santo freezes when he sees the mouth of the gun pointed at his face.

"yaera..." he chokes, his hands going up in surrender.

"you fucking cunt," i growl. "i almost killed myself over what you did to me back then. now, i know the only one who should be dead is you."

he stares at me blankly, his breathing hard and erratic. he tries to quickly get up but i pull the trigger on him, grazing him in the arm. the first shot goes off and breaks the silence of the park. santo lets out a crushed scream, and i kick him across the face with the tip of my converse.

"you wouldnt..." he starts laughing erratically. "you wouldnt kill me. you're a fucking child. you dont have the heart–"

i aim for his head, firing another bullet, hitting the centre of his face.

smoke drifts from his mouth as his blank eyes stare into the sky. i see a pool of black appearing on the side of his head. its over.

its over.

i fire another bullet. and another. and another. i fire until the gun stops me with an empty click, till santo's face is full of leaking holes. then, i walk away, stepping over his body, pulling san's mask back over my nose.

***

tagslist: @mountiiny @brown88 @sansonlygf @mingkisbitch @yutaslaugh

if i missed anyone in the tagslist, please let me know.

next chapter

[pastanest]

Jon Snow x she/her!reader

A/N: this is my first proper piece about Jonny boy and it is…7.6k words long 👁️👁️ this is set just before season 1 AND I kinda stole a random House name from the GoT map and made a new story for them solely for this fic. hope the 3 Jon Snow fans on this hellsite enjoy!! ♡

and yes, before you ask, I had Love Story by Taylor Swift on a loop while writing this. what of it.

With Love

The Starks liked to think they knew every face in Winterfell, but truth be told, the one belonging to the family without the honour of sharing the name was the only one that knew each and every face within the walls. A sign of the lack of distance between himself and the townspeople that was ever present with the rest of his family, and the mother he could never have.

It was not only the horse that Jon knew to be unfamiliar, but its rider, as the two rode through the Winterfell gates. The uncertainty with which the horse was guided to the stables told Jon that both the horse and its rider were unfamiliar with the area, too. Seeing the gown adorning the rider peaking from beneath the cloak she wore, the gold thread of the hem catching the last of the day’s sunlight, Jon stood to attention from the crumbled stone wall he had been sitting on, watching the sunset and the world go by until it slowed to a stop, just for you.

He kept his pace towards you slow as you rode your horse to the stables you had found and dismounted, patting your horse gratefully and checking through the saddlebags as you lowered your hood. Jon could only see half of the smile that you gave the horse, but it was enough to stop him in his stride. As you turned, your eyes locked onto him as though pulled by some mythical force, your smile not faltering as you approached him.

“Forgive me, I am not familiar with this place or its people, might you introduce me, Lord…?” Your eyes travelled down his body, the dark clothes he wore appearing too formal for that of the general townsfolk.

Under your gaze, it took Jon several seconds to remember how to speak. “There is no need for such formalities, my Lady, I’m no Lord. Perhaps if I took you to my father, he could assist you in whatever it is that has brought you here?”

You frowned, confused by the stranger’s explanation. “Surely, if your father is the one man in Winterfell to guide me, he would be Lord Stark, making you his son, and a Lord, yourself.”

Jon felt the unfortunately familiar shame of his namesake sink into his very skin as he avoided your eyes. “Aye, Lord Stark is my father, but Lady Stark is not my mother.”

There was a sadness in your eyes, an ache in your heart that made it impossible for you to resist reaching for Jon’s shoulder, brushing the small amount of dirt that resided there. A gesture so seemingly insignificant, but something about the attention you showed him made him feel truly seen.

“What is your name?”

His shoulder burnt where your fingertips had grazed it, even through his clothes, and he gulped. “Jon Snow, my Lady.”

You smiled at him then, exactly as you had when you had first seen him. “No need for such formalities, Lord Jon. Stark blood runs in your veins as well as it does your siblings, you are worthy of the same respect the name brings them.” The sincerity in your eyes was unlike anything Jon had ever known, and the feeling it caused in his chest was something new, too.

“If you could take me to see your father, I would be most grateful.” Your smile didnt falter as you took your first look around Winterfell, having not torn your gaze from Jon until that very moment, allowing him the freedom to breathe without feeling heat rise in him under your eyes.

Without a word, he nodded, turned and began to walk towards the hall, his mind running away with him.

The moment Lord Stark saw you, his eyes went wide and he ushered you into another room with Lady Stark, shutting Jon out with no explanation. Though he was used to being kept at arm’s length when it came to family matters, the fact that he was being restricted from the mystery of you felt like a far more personal pain, for a reason Jon could not yet place.

It was not until an hour later, when Lord Stark returned to the hall, that Jon realized he had not moved. Unsurprised to see his son still waiting for you, Ned Stark approached him.

“She is to be staying with us for her own safety, and no one is to question this. Not her name, house, or history. Is that understood?”

Jon nodded, clinging to every word that only pushed him further from you, who you might be.

“What am I to call her?” Jon questioned, not wanting to cause you any offense by addressing you incorrectly.

Lord Stark was thoughtful for a moment. “What did you call her on her arrival?”

Jon stood up straighter, frowning, unsure whether his father was testing his ability to greet you respectfully. “My Lady, of course.”

His father nodded. “Then that is what you will continue to call her, I will ask the same of your brothers and sisters.”

Jon lowered his head in agreement and with that, his father was gone.

Not knowing what else to do, Jon decided to retire to his quarters for the rest of the day. As he ascended the staircase to his family’s quarters, though, he was stopped by you once again. This time, you were stood in the doorway of Lord and Lady Stark’s room, seemingly in deep conversation with Lady Stark until your eyes were drawn to Jon once more, at the opposite end of the hallway. You smiled at him, but he was too stunned and too lost in his own head to return it right away. Just as a small smile reached his face, Lady Stark followed your gaze, scowled and closed the door on him, as she had done all Jon’s life.

The next morning, you joined the Starks for breakfast, wearing a different gown to the previous evening and giggling with Sansa at the table by the time Jon arrived. Though the sight of you getting along with his family so quickly did warm his heart, Jon couldnt help the small pit of sadness that formed in his stomach at the thought of you favoring them over him, as most did. The moment he sat down at the table, however, you locked eyes with him and smiled.

“Good morning, Lord Jon.”

The room fell silent, but your smile did not waver. Jon felt his face rise in temperature with every fraction of a second that passed.

“You do not need to refer to any of us with such formalities, dear girl.” Lady Stark replied, her tone firm, her underlying message clear to all, masked under the guise of none of the Starks requiring such titles at breakfast.

But you merely shook your head and continued to smile. “No, please Lady Stark, I insist. Your family has already treated me with such kindness, such welcome, the least I can do is respect you all in name.”

Lord Stark smiled at this, silencing Lady Stark from making any further comments, which signaled the continuation of breakfast as normal. As you began to eat, you glanced up at Jon to find him still looking at you. His expression would make you think he was admiring the one to hang the moon in the sky, and you could not hold such a gaze, your face flushing as you lowered your eyes to your plate.

The first full day spent at Winterfell, you were almost treated as the new toy amongst the Stark children. Sansa wanted to spend every waking hour at your side, discussing your gowns and how they were made, Arya was desperate to convince you to let her take your horse outside the walls to practice archery on horseback, Bran wanted to show you just how high he could climb, Rickon shyly asked if he could introduce your horse to the others to ensure “he was not lonely at Winterfell”, Robb laughed at his siblings antics and tried to very casually flirt with you, while his shadow Theon Greyjoy tried the same with a far less casual nature, and Jon simply watched from afar as he practiced with his sword.

He did not expect to speak with you much, if at all, that day, as you would no doubt be too kind to refuse any of his siblings. As such, he tried his best to focus on the swing of his sword and nothing else. Certainly not the different shades within your eyes that he had noticed when stood closer to you the previous day, not the way in which your gowns complimented your silhouette, not the melodic sound of your laugh, and most definitely not the look in your eyes when he had been your chosen view.

“You are quite good with that, you know.”

Jon Snow jumped out of his skin, and you were quick to muffle your giggle with your hand.

“Apologies, my Lady, I did not see you-“

You waved off his apology. “Worry not, I should have made my presence known. Regardless, my point still stands: you have a talent with a sword.”

Jon smiled shyly. “Thank you, my Lady. Are you enjoying Winterfell?”

You chuckled at this. “Very much so! Though I am already tired from the amount of talking I have done.”

Jon sighed, wishing you had not been so pestered by his family. “I do apologize for my siblings, it is not often we meet new people.”

You shook your head. “I will accept your apology for that Greyjoy boy, but you need not apologize for your siblings, they are utterly lovely. In fact, Sansa is inspecting my gowns at this very moment, Rickon and Arya are befriending my horse, Robb is lecturing Theon, and I am scheduled to witness some truly incredible climbing soon. I wondered if, as I have not had much chance to speak with you today, you would care to join me?”

Jon could not believe his ears, you had given his siblings everything they’d asked of you within reason, in ways that had no doubt left them all overjoyed, save for Robb. Now, it was Jon you were seeking out.

“I thought you were tired from all the talking you’ve already done?” Jon mused, concerned that you were wearing yourself too thin.

At this, you simply smiled. “I am, but it seems you are the exception. So, will you accompany me to the climbing show, Lord Jon?”

Jon could not wipe the grin from his face if he tried, your declaration of him being the exception to your tiredness feeling like the greatest title you could possibly bestow upon him. “It would be my honor, my Lady.”

With that, he held his arm out to you and you looped yours through it. No words were spoken as Jon led you to the tower that he knew Bran liked to climb most, neither of you daring to interrupt the smile shared between you that only grew with each sidewards glance.

When the two of you reached the tower, Jon was both surprised and relieved that you did not remove your arm from his and instead lifted your other hand to hold onto his upper arm further, as Bran began to climb.

“Is this safe?” You whispered, not wanting to discourage Bran, but worried for his safety.

Jon could only smile at you adoringly. “He has not fallen once, my Lady.”

Though his words reassured you, you did not release his arm until it was time to applaud the end of the show, when Bran had descended the tower and bowed before you. It took less than a minute for Lady Stark to call Bran to her for a lecture that strongly advised against climbing, and you looped your arm back through Jon’s, turning away from the tower and letting him walk you wherever he desired.

That is how you spent the remainder of your day, arm in arm with Jon Snow and a beaming smile on your face for all to see, not ashamed as he feared anyone would be to be seen on his arm, but proud to be. The unwavering confidence and serenity you showed him in the face of prejudice only made it more difficult for his heart to resist. As the sun set, the two of you settled beneath the Weirwood tree, sitting below it and watching the red leaves flutter in the wind.

As much as Jon had never felt happier than he had in these moments with you, his curiosity was eating away at him. Finally away from the eyes and ears of others, he felt it was time to ask.

“Forgive me, my Lady, for I mean you no offence, but I cannot help wondering…if you are of noble descent, which I suspect you are, are you not ashamed to be seen with me?”

You lowered your gaze from the red leaves to frown at Jon sympathetically. “I am forbidden from speaking of my family, but I can assure you, I have no reason to be ashamed of being seen with you, Jon.”

Though it did not answer his question entirely, Jon nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”

Your expression softened to a humored smile. “I must ask, was it my gowns that gave away my family’s status?”

Jon chuckled. “Perhaps.”

You laughed with him. “I can assure you that, while my gowns are well made, my family are far from being as noble as yours. We are a small house, my father being an old friend to yours, but few know of us and even fewer know of me. All will become clear soon, though.”

It was Jon’s turn to frown at you. “What do you mean?”

You gazed out into the godswood, your smile no longer reaching your eyes. “A dear friend of mine is to arrive soon, she wishes to be wed here. There is to be a grand party and suitors will present themselves to her. Despite the circumstances, I have assured her I will attend, hence my unannounced arrival here.” You turned to Jon. “May I request that you are present, to avoid the entire event boring me to an early grave?”

Jon couldnt help but laugh, the new information about you and your friend relaxing him somewhat, as it did not allude to you being in any kind of danger, which he suspected was the reason for your discrete travels.

“Of course.” Regardless of the event, there is nowhere else I would prefer to stand than at your side, he wanted so badly to add, but he could not.

“Thank you. That eases my mind.” You sighed, as though a physical weight had been lifted from you.

Jon tried to read your eyes. “What is it that worries you about your friend’s arrangement?”

You shook your head. “She has dreaded this day her entire life, she has often cried to me about it. She has already mourned the loss of the life she had before, but to marry a stranger…it is a cruel fate, truly.”

Jon nodded, empathizing as much as he could. “If being a bastard does count for anything, it is that I will never face such a frightful concept.”

You looked up at him, admiring the curls that the wind blew over his face. “You are far more than a bastard, Jon, but it is a relief you have found at least one positive to the status. Do you think you will marry?”

Jon’s mind went completely blank, much like it did every time you had smiled at him since you had arrived the day before. “I’ve not really thought about it, my Lady.”

You sighed at that, somewhat jealous of the fact Jon had never had to think of bearing the heir to his family name, but not wanting to voice such an insensitive thought and discredit the torment he had suffered as a consequence of his own birth.

By the time the two of you had returned to the castle, the rest of the Starks had gathered in the hall. At the sight of you, Lady Stark ran and took ahold of your hands.

“A raven came. It is to happen in three days time.” She told you, in as few words as she could, which you nodded to her gratefully for.

Closing your eyes in a pained blink, you took a deep breath, then opened your eyes and offered the Starks a smile that was too bright.

“If you will excuse me until the morning, I am frightfully tired. Goodnight to you all, I wish you the most pleasant dreams.” Your voice shook on the very last word, but before anyone could even open their mouths to answer you, you had all but run from the hall and up the stairs, locking yourself in your quarters.

Lady Stark looked sympathetically after you, while the Stark children exchanged confused glances. Jon watched the path that you had disappeared on as though you were still there, a new ache in his chest that was unfamiliar to him, once again.

That night, Jon could not sleep. No matter how many times he turned and shifted, he could not get comfortable enough to even close his eyes, he was completely restless at the thought of you so distressed. Feeling that he had no other choice, Jon sat up, put his sleepshirt back on, and left his quarters. The walk between his door and yours was no more than few steps, but Jon felt more exposed with each step, wearing nothing more than his sleep clothes and aware that if you answered the door, you would see him in such attire. He could not let that be enough to deter him, though.

Not wanting to wake you if you were asleep, Jon gently knocked on the door, and when he heard a sniffle on the other side, his heart shattered inside his chest.

“It’s Jon, my Lady, I…I could not sleep, knowing that you were so upset. Is there anything I can do?” He felt helpless, having never been more desperate to ease someone’s pain before in his life.

There was no verbal response from you, and Jon began to lose all hope that you would answer him at all, until he heard the sound of the door unlocking from the other side. His heart skipped a beat as the door opened, revealing the features of your face that he had memorized, but they were swollen from the seemingly endless tears that you had cried, and were still crying. Seeing him standing there, caring for you in such a way, broke you all over again, and without care for formalities or tradition, you fell into him, sobbing into his nightshirt as he wrapped his strong arms around you, hoping he could make you feel just a little better, a little safer in your feelings.

Taking some steps back, you pulled Jon into your room, the door closing behind him as he held you tightly against him, shushing you gently.

“Please, my Lady, do not cry anymore. I swear that I will do whatever I can to make the day more bearable, for both you and your friend. I am sure a fine suitor will appear, that a declaration of love powerful enough to silence the whole of Winterfell will take place in the hall of this very castle, and the worries that you and your friend have shared will disappear.” Jon promised, already unsure of how to keep his word, but certain that he would find a way before the day arrived.

“Thank you, Jon. I am not sure I would be able to see the day through without you.” The confession shocked Jon, his stomach flipping as you hinted at the extent of your feelings for him, just slightly. “Will you stay?”

Jon swallowed, hard.

At his boyish nervousness, you playfully hit his chest. “Do not ponder such perversions in the presence of a crying girl, Jon!”

He chuckled at this, sensing your spirits had lifted by the joke you had made. “My apologies, my Lady.”

Feigning disappointment in him, you pulled away slightly and shook your head. “Must I spell out that my intentions are solely to fend off any further tears and that you have been the apparent cure for them thus far?”

Jon sighed dramatically, playing along. “Well, I suppose we do not have another choice then, do we, my Lady?”

And like the lovesick teenagers that you were, you snuck into bed in fits of giggles, shushing the other and pretending to want to sleep, when all either of you wanted to do was stay awake until the sun rose again, talking about anything and everything.

Naturally, neither of you had thought very far ahead and considered how difficult it would be to effectively sneak Jon out of your room the following morning. That said, by standing with an ear pressed to the door to listen for any passersby, you did eventually manage to shove him back to his quarters when the corridor was clear. Needless to say, breakfast that morning was once again filled with shy glances and equally warm faces.

For your second day in Winterfell, Jon made it his mission to distract you as much as he could from the worries of the night before. So, he planned that the two of you would take Arya out on horseback to practice archery, with Lord Stark’s permission. Unfortunately, Lord Stark would only give his permission on the condition that Robb and Theon would also accompany the three of you, to help watch over Arya, who had a particular talent for disappearing.

Begrudgingly, Jon agreed, convincing himself that Robb and Theon would provide further distractions for you. While this fact did reign true, Jon did not account for the way his blood would boil in his veins as Theon tried to flirt with you. Robb was respectful enough to see what was blossoming between you and Jon, so had ceased his advances entirely, but Theon did not care for Jon’s feelings. At least, not as much as he cared to feel you, apparently. The very second Jon caught sight of Theon reaching a hand towards your hip, he was marching with a fury like no other.

Forcing himself between you and Theon, Jon’s expression was colder than even the harshest Winter, eyes dark with a fire that raged beyond the capabilities of a Stark.

“Try to touch her again and you will lose that hand.” He threatened, voice lower with his anger and in an effort to not cause a scene in front of Arya, who was practicing with Robb a few feet away.

Theon scoffed. “I dont take threats from bastards!”

Then, to everyone’s absolute astonishment, you stepped out from behind Jon to stand in front of him and scowl at Theon.

“Call him that again and you’ll lose your tongue as well as your hand, boy.” You did not care to lower your voice, catching Arya’s attention, and the ferocity with which you defended her brother earnt you her respect in an instant.

Theon tried to scramble for a retort, but Robb frowned at him. “Go home, Theon.”

And so, the son of Balon Greyjoy was sent sulking back to the walls of Winterfell, while Jon Snow stood staring at you like you were a star that had fallen from the sky and landed right in front of him.

That night, Jon walked you to your quarters like the gentleman he had always wished he would be allowed to be, cheeks rosy with the simple joy of such things finally being possible for him, all because of you.

“Thank you for today, Lord Jon.” Your voice had been quiet, shy in the close proximity of your protector.

And Jon’s smile was shy in the close proximity to his. “Thank you for the same, my Lady.”

With courage that he did not know he possessed, Jon took your hand and raised it to his lips, placing the lightest kiss against your knuckles as you watched with wide eyes.

Your hand, so much smaller in his, squeezed his fingers in response to the heartfelt gesture.

“If you can promise me there will be no tears tonight, I will bid you farewell.” Jon’s voice was barely above a whisper, his tone playful but words sincere, an unspoken oath to stay if you needed him, for as long as you did.

“And…if I can make no such promise?” Your gaze dropped to your hand, still held by his, and your expression fell ever so slightly at the thought of being parted from him.

But Jon would not allow such a sadness to steal your smile away. “Then, if it please you, my Lady, I will not bid you farewell until the sun rises again.”

His words brought about a tension between you that was sinful in nature and near impossible to resist, but the two of you knew better than to even consider more than a chaste kiss outside of marriage, Jon understanding the consequences of such actions more than most. Despite having no intention of giving in to such temptations, the tension did not ease, much to the dismay that you shared, but dared not speak of.

The pain of sending him to his own quarters would be too much for you to bare that night, and without another word, you reached behind you to open the door to your quarters, eyes never leaving his.

Though the two of you spent more of the night holding each other than you did talking as you had the night before, Jon knew it was the best night of his life. He had never felt stronger than he did when you were in his arms, safe from any and all that could try to harm you. An uncertainty began to stir within him as he focussed on the sound of your breathing as you slept, your head resting on his chest, over the heart that unbeknownst to you, you had claimed as yours. Once your friend’s ceremony has ended, where will you go? Can you stay? Are your days here, with him, numbered and so few? The thought left a bitter taste in Jon’s mouth, and continued to plague him until he drifted off to sleep.

For your third day in Winterfell, Jon was more determined than ever to make your last day before the dreaded arrangement, one to remember, for the right reasons. He wanted to ensure that in years to come, when you thought of the time you had spent at Winterfell, perhaps you would remember that day more than the one that came after it. So, he had planned the entire day. Not being a particularly talented man in the kitchen, Jon woke at dawn, snuck out of your quarters, and pleaded for the household staff to help him prepare a picnic of some of your favorite foods, which he had strategically asked you about over the past few days. He set the picnic under the Weirwood tree and then knocked on Sansa’s door. She greeted him with an excited smile and handed him the gown she had been working on for you ever since you had arrived. Then, Jon knocked at your door. It was still quite early, he should not have been surprised by the sight of you tiredly rubbing your eyes as you opened the door, but the feeling in his chest was something he could only compare to moments of pure, blissful shock.

“My Lady, your breakfast awaits.” Jon bowed and held the neatly folded gown in his arms out to you, causing you to gasp, the confusion of having woken up without him already subsiding.

“By the Gods, Jon, what is this?!” You carefully took the gown from his arms and admired it, holding it against your body and squealing in delight. “I must thank Sansa at once and dress for the occasion!”

Jon chuckled at your excitement. “Then I will wait for you in the hall, my Lady.”

For half an hour, Jon paced around the hall, his smile contagious to everyone that happened to see him, unwavering and bright. Only when you entered the hall in the gown Sansa had crafted for you, did his smile fall into an expression of complete admiration. As bashful as Jon had seen you, he did not expect you to stroll into the hall with such poise and twirl with a beaming grin plastered on your face, overjoyed by the gown and how confident you felt in it.

“My Lady, you are the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms.” Jon managed to say in between the breaths you had stolen.

At this, you rolled your eyes. “Have you seen every woman in the Seven Kingdoms to verify that statement, Lord Jon?”

His eyes followed you as you glided around the room, the gown flowing around you like water, and he was entranced. “I do not need to see every one to know that none can even touch on the enchantress that is you, not to me.”

Your face flushed at his compliments, too shy to accept them as truth but appreciative of them nonetheless. Looping your arm through his, you smiled up at him, his gaze softer than you had ever seen it as he began to lead you out of the castle and towards the Godswood.

The small feast beneath the Weirwood tree and the soft blanket Jon had laid under it for you both, brought tears to your eyes. You must have thanked him a thousand times in the seconds it took to sit down and begin to eat, and a thousand times more with every piece of food you tried.

After a large meal, Jon led you on a stroll through the Godswood, telling you tales of his childhood, spent running through and climbing the very trees around you. The fondest memories he had were the ones spent playing outside with his siblings, away from the ever-scowling eyes of the mother he could never have, and as happy as he was to recall the fun he had with his siblings, your heart ached at the love he had been denied. Stopping in the middle of the Godswood, you turned to face him with such sad eyes, he was just about to ask you if you were alright when you suddenly pulled him into your arms. You didnt say anything, thinking it was not your place to speak on his family, but through such a kind and comforting gesture, he knew exactly what the hug was for. Obviously, you had not been present during the saddest moments of his childhood, when he had cried at his window and begged the Gods that he thought lived amongst the stars, to answer why he did not deserve a mother that loved him, but somehow, the hug that you gave him comforted every part of him, even the young boy locked away in those painful memories.

Jon took you on a horse ride after that, your horse having bonded with Jon’s as a result of Rickon and Arya’s introduction between the animals, the creatures seeming to have a conversation of their own while the two of you laughed and joked like the world around you was plagueless and without any kind of restriction. Out there, beyond the walls, with nobody else in sight, the world felt so vast and so small simultaneously, a little piece of it that the two of you were kept safe inside, where you could stay forever if you chose to. And oh, how you wish you could choose.

When you arrived back at Winterfell, you asked if you could watch Jon practice with his sword again. He had not anticipated that you would enjoy such a thing, considering you would simply be watching him, but the excitement with which you posed the question made Jon blush and nod without opposition. It was an excuse to sit and admire him, really, and you could not withhold the content sighs that escaped your lips as you watched him, the strong hands that had held yours now gripping a sword, arms tensed beneath his black clothes, expression firm. Having never felt deserving of a woman’s gaze like that in his life, Jon found that he quite enjoyed being admired, once he had stopped blushing.

Before long, the sun had set again, and Jon was walking you back to your quarters for the night. He hoped that you would invite him into your chambers again, terrified that it would be the last chance he had to hold you before you potentially disappeared from his life altogether; something he dared not question you about in fear of ruining the day. But as you approached the door, you turned to him with a bright smile.

“I think, after such a wonderful day, tears are impossible. And I think the excitement of another day with you, regardless of the event, will bring me pleasant dreams.”

Jon smiled back at you, relieved that the day he had hoped to give you was received successfully with the desired impact, but ever so slightly devastated that it had backfired to restrict him of another night with you.

“Very well, my Lady. I look forward to seeing you. Goodnight.” His voice was quiet again, his confession of sharing your excitement to be together again bringing a bashfulness he is certain he should have moved past, but simply could not.

“Goodnight, Lord Jon.” You closed the space between you to place a chaste kiss on his left cheek, and then disappeared behind the door to your quarters.

Blinking rapidly, Jon lifted a shaking hand to trace the skin of his face where your lips had been, your kiss lingering there far longer than he thought possible. In a daze, he retired to his own quarters and fell asleep with a smile on his face, ready to make the day you had been dreading, one that you could enjoy, if he was able to grant you such a thing.

However, by the time Jon awoke on the morning of your fourth day in Winterfell, he left his quarters and saw your door already open, sunlight streaming in through the windows. With a confused frown on his face, Jon stepped into the room to see a handwritten letter on your neatly made bed, addressed to him.

Lord Jon,

Do not fear, I have left to meet my friend before the event begins, but I will see you there. I will be counting down the minutes until I see you again.

With love,

Your Lady.

Jon read your words over and over again, each time letting them sink further into his very being. With love. Those words caught him every time his eyes glanced over them. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would be counting down the minutes until he saw you again, too.

The Stark breakfast was rushed that morning, everyone frantic to be ready for the event to begin, and Jon found himself spending longer than he normally did deciding on his attire and fixing his hair, having not had an occasion to truly dress up for you prior to this event and hoping that if he did, maybe it would make you smile as much as your dressing up made him. As the clock ticked, Lord Stark instructed his children to stand in a line outside the castle, awaiting the arrival of the company. Instead of standing behind his siblings as he expected to, Jon was told by Lord Stark to stand beside Robb with his family, at the request of the company. Even the briefest mention to you was enough to bring a smile to his face.

Minutes later, the carriage arrived, decorated with the banner of a black horse with red mane and eyes, that Jon recognised to be that of House Ryswell of the Rills, a noble Northern family that had an unfortunate recent history. Lord Rodrik Ryswell and his two sons had fallen ill and tragically passed away within weeks of each other, some years ago, leaving no heir to the House or their land, which made Jon very curious as to their arrival. They did not have a suitor to offer your friend, less it were a bastard like himself? But as a soldier hurried to open the door of the carriage, Jon’s heart stopped.

You stepped out of the carriage, wearing a gown of House Ryswell’s colors, a gem studded headband catching the sunlight as you bowed to the Starks, who all bowed back at you, though Jon was in too much shock to do so until Robb discretely elbowed his side. Standing back up, you smiled at the Starks, Ned and Catelyn smiling warmly and the Stark children all sharing the same wide eyes, with Jon appearing as though he was on the brink of collapsing. Lady Ryswell stepped out of the carriage after you in her own House-coloured gown, smiling at the Starks with the same warmness you had, and the way her eyes crinkled was the final nail in the coffin for Jon: you were the only remaining heir to House Ryswell.

As is tradition, Ned Stark took your mother’s arm and Robb Stark took yours, to lead you into the castle hall, everyone else following behind as the suitors began to arrive on horseback. Jon could only watch on as your silhouette disappeared beyond the castle doors, but as the first suitor with a Karstark banner passed him, he knew he could not stay outside any longer.

He took his seat beside Robb, sharing a table with the rest of his siblings, seeing your family laugh with his father at the table at the head of the hall, like the situation was normal and expected. But for them, he supposed, it was.

Jon Snow did not expect to be confronted by the sight of man after man offering themselves to you, with riches and titles, gifts and promises. Regardless of the way in which you politely refused each and every one, Jon was sure it was the biggest practical joke of his life. After the tenth suitor, he ran out of patience and stood, staying as close to the walls as he could to make a discrete exit.

Once outside, he leant against the same crumbling stone wall he had been sitting on when you has first arrived, taking some deep breaths, his eyes closed tight as he fought off the mental image of every man that had come here for your hand.

“Only two nights ago, you swore you would do whatever you could to make this day more bearable.” Your voice sounded almost timid, afraid of Jon’s reaction to you with your identity revealed, but hoping that recalling a memory shared between the two of you would remind him that regardless of name, you were still you.

Jon stood up straight and wiped his face his hands, turning to look at you and fighting the contradicting feelings within him. “I did, for you and your friend, who does not exist.”

You nodded guiltily, unable to hold his gaze.

“Why could you not tell me your name?” Jon asked, the question finally allowed.

Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself for the explanation Jon had been waiting for. “My name is (Y/N) Ryswell, and it was my father’s dying wish for me to marry, to pass on the family legacy. With him and my brothers gone, the family name will die with my mother, my name changing to match whatever man I choose, but our family land will be mine, by right. My mother decided it would be best to keep me a secret until I was of age, to avoid every eligible Lord swarming me and trying to take that land for themselves.” You paused, smiling sadly. “My father…he always spoke so fondly of your family, of Winterfell, I wanted to marry here to honor him, but to experience this place and all of you for what and who you all truly are, I had to come alone.”

Jon nodded slowly, understanding you and your intentions completely, mentally scolding himself for thinking you had in any way deceived him when you stood before him, telling him of the person you were, who he knew you to be.

Still, a sad thought remained, weighing him down and making it impossible for him to give you the smile that was yours.

“Have you decided on a Lord, then?”

You sighed, shaking your head. “Truth be told, even if every man sat in there now presented himself to me, I’d still deny each and every one.”

Jon frowned in confusion. “What will you do?”

You shrugged at that, a sparkle in your eyes and a small smile on your face. “That all depends on you, my Lord.”

Jon’s frown intensified. “But, you said every man-“

You interjected to correct him. “I said every man sat in there now, and, as I see it, you are standing outside.” You raised an eyebrow at him, letting him gather the meaning behind your words before you glanced back inside the hall. “Well, I’d better return to my seat. Nothing more riveting than rejecting men presenting their cocks and riches!” Your words dripped with sarcasm as you stepped back into the hall, and would have made Jon laugh if he wasnt frozen in place, contemplating his entire life.

Very slowly, he followed you back into the hall and took his seat again, face far paler than it had been the last time Robb had seen it.

“Brother, are you unwell?”

Jon could only shake his head, eyes locked onto you as you politely declined another man, who turned solemnly and returned to his seat. Without thinking, and without giving time for another man to stand, Jon rose from his table and approached the head of the hall. The room fell silent, all eyes on him, but Jon could only see the curious expression on his father’s face, the furious scowl of Lady Stark, and your soft smile directly in front of him.

Jon Snow cleared his throat, the sound echoing through the hall. He bowed to your mother. “Lady Ryswell, I would first like to thank you for allowing your daughter to come here. She has brought sunshine with her unlike any Winterfell has ever seen, and my family have been honored to have her.” Your mother smiled at Jon, grateful for his compliments towards you, and he continued. “During her time here, I made a promise, of sorts, to your daughter, in that I told her I was sure a fine suitor would appear, and that a declaration of love powerful enough to silence the whole of Winterfell would take place in the hall of this very castle. As yet-“ Jon looked around the hall, then back to your mother. “-I cannot see anyone that has offered such a thing.” Quiet chuckles erupted throughout the hall, relaxing him slightly as he carried on. “Given it was I that made your daughter believe she would receive such a declaration, I feel it is my responsibility to ensure that she is given exactly that, or as close to that as I can possibly give.” Then, his gaze turned to you, and he lowered himself to one knee. “Lady (Y/N) Ryswell of the Rills, I am Jon Snow. I am no lord, I have no house of my own, no lands or riches to offer you, and I am certain that if tradition had a voice, it would scream in opposition at what I am about to say. But I swear it, by the old Gods and the new, not a soul in this room is capable of loving you more than I, and if you will allow me the greatest honor you could ever bestow me, of calling you my wife, I will do everything in my power to bring you every happiness, every day, for the rest of our days.”

The tears that flowed freely down your face were different to the ones Jon had seen from you before, your trembling smile further evidence that the reason for those tears could not be more different to that of previous ones. As your mother raised her handkerchief to wipe her own eyes, you stood from the table and walked around it.

Once in front of Jon, you leant down and took ahold of his hands, using them to guide him back to his feet as he tried desperately to read your eyes for an answer to his proposal, and when all he could read was the very words that had stumped him with every reread of your handwritten letter, his heart soared.

“There is no other proposal I would accept, save the one you have given me, Lord Jon.” Your voice was raw with emotion, words shaking as Jon felt every possible weight he had ever bore on his shoulders ascending to the heavens.

As cheers erupted throughout the hall, Jon wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you into the air, spinning you around in a gesture of pure bliss.

“Gods be good, let the lovebirds be married in the morning!” Lord Stark yelled out, raising his goblet, watching as every other goblet in the room raised in solidarity with cheers of the shared sentiment.

Jon Snow gently placed you back on the ground, his arms still holding your waist as you chuckled deliriously at each other, eyes exchanging words that dared not be spoken between lips in the company of others, and he knew then that every action of the rest of his life would be done with the same promise as the one at end of your letter.

With love.

[cherryrainn]

I really liked the anonymous request about tmnt , I hope the guy / girl will not mind if I add something.

Yandere brother shredder and sibling reader, resigned himself to having to live with his brother and by his rules.

I will add a little 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵/𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵

The reader wraps himself in a blanket and sleeps

Tmnt 2014/16

hi!! i really enjoyed writing that one, so i totally will do this for you. also, i accidentally deleted an ask because im a dumbass so if you notice how i didnt do your ask please send it in again!!

☽ ༚  ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰  ༵ ༚ ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰ 

— blood bonds

yandere!shredder x sibling reader (platonic)

you found yourself resigned to living under the dominion of your brother, shredder. as the night fell, you retreated to your room, seeking solace and a momentary respite from the chaotic world outside.

with a heavy heart, you wrapped yourself in a cozy blanket, seeking comfort and warmth amidst the turbulent emotions that plagued your mind. the room exuded an air of unease as if it mirrored the conflicted feelings swirling within your troubled soul.

lying down, you stared up at the ceiling, your thoughts consumed by the complex web of emotions you felt for your brother. the line between love and fear had blurred, leaving you with an overwhelming sense of entrapment.

as you closed your eyes, you couldn't help but wonder how your life had taken such a drastic turn. you had always yearned for a close bond with your brother, but you never anticipated the depths of shredder's possessiveness and desire for control.

as you stared at the dimly lit room, the door swung open, and shredder entered without hesitation. the intensity in his eyes was palpable as he approached you, his mere presence sending a shiver down your spine.

"you know you're not allowed to lock your door, y/n," shredder's voice carried an edge, his possessive nature unyielding.

startled, you pulled the blanket tighter around yourself, the vulnerability seeping into your bones. "i just needed some time alone," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

shredder's gaze bore into you, his expression a mix of concern and possessiveness. "alone? you know you can't be alone, not when i'm here to protect you."

your heart lurched as shredder's words sank in; this was not the first time he had addressed these concerns. you glanced down at your feet, averting your eyes from his penetrating stare. "i didn't mean to keep you waiting," you mumbled, attempting to diffuse the tension that filled the room.

shredder drew closer, his body looming over yours as he sat on the edge of your bed. "i'll never tire of protecting my younger sibling. i would lay down my life for you."

the tenderness in shredder's voice sent a wave of relief through your chest. you gave him a weak smile, unable to hide the conflicting emotions swirling inside you. "thank you," you murmured softly, unsure what else to say.

shredder leaned forward, placing his cold metal hand on your cheek. "are you alright?" he asked, his tone soft and soothing.

as shredder's cold touch grazed your cheek, a mixture of fear and an unsettling thrill coursed through your veins. the nature within him had grown stronger over time, blurring the lines between love and obsession. you had become entangled in a web of twisted affection, where shredder's desires and possessiveness held a macabre allure.

"i can't bear the thought of anything happening to you," shredder confessed, his voice laced with a strange combination of tenderness and possessive fervor. "you are my blood, y/n. no one else should have the privilege of your presence."

a shiver ran down your spine, a morbid fascination mingling with your apprehension. you were acutely aware of the dangerous game you played, trapped between the longing for your own freedom and the magnetic pull of shredder's obsession.

he moved closer, his fingers gently tracing the outline of your face. "no one will ever understand you like i do, y/n. i know your deepest fears, your darkest secrets. and i'll protect them with my life."

fear gripped your heart, a flicker of doubt and apprehension dancing in your eyes. but just as the darkness threatened to consume you, shredder's expression softened, his grip on your face gentling.

"yet, i would never cause you harm, y/n," he whispered, his voice filled with a mixture of regret and tenderness. "my violence is reserved only for those who dare to endanger what we have. i would rather suffer than see you hurt."

conflicting emotions swirled within you, torn between the fear of shredder's dark side and the twisted comfort his words brought.

in a sudden change of demeanor, shredder's fingers caressed your cheek, his touch surprisingly gentle. "you're safe with me, y/n," he murmured, his voice laced with a fragile tenderness. "i may be consumed by this darkness, but i will protect you from it. you're the light that keeps me anchored."

and so, in the confines of your shared sanctuary, you surrendered to the twisted love that bound you, seeking solace in the fragile balance between the violence that haunted your brother's soul and the comfort he found in your presence.