#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I am not EVERY autistic person so this probably won't be a total coverage approach, but here's what I have learned:

People like to feel that you pay attention to and remember little but important things about them. And when someone is "small-talking" with you, it is often because they either want to offer you some of that info about themselves, or they want to pearn it about you so they can "return the effort". I think of it a bit like call and response with my cats! They don't understand me, and I don't understand them, but when I walk into the kitchen each morning, Lup runs towards me excitedly making her tiny little squeaks and trills. That's kitty small-talk! Many words of all varieties just say "I love you! I missed you! I'm happy to be here with you today!"

So I answer her! Sometimes I mimic her little sounds, and other times I pretend we're gossiping like church ladies (*gasp* NO, you're KIDDING, he said THAT?? What a scandal!") But whichever I do Lup gets excited and continues her little "conversation" with me.

People are harder. I had to really take time and practice different ways of responding before I found appropriate "call and response" for small talk, but I found that there are genuinely more options than you'd think. And the same thing happened! As I learned how to "call and respond" to small talk, I found that people would excitedly approach me to have it, and gradually we got to know each other enough that the "calls" coming from both sides got less general, more tailored to our personal preferences and interests, and I didn't have to small talk as much (but when I did it wasn't as scary either)

This isn't just my personal theory either! A fair amount of research in interpersonal/social in-group dynamics suggests that "bids for attention" like small talk function in this way of call-and-response intimacy/connection building. I have found that a LOT of social etiquette gets less scary to navigate when I at least understand the function of it. It also gave me some understsnding of why people might be hurt when I visibly don't WANT to "respond" to a "call" they've made: I'm the same way about my "calls" I just use different ones! The way I feel when I ask someone "would you want to hang out with me in the kitchen while I make lunch?" (Sad, a little anxious or vulnerable, maybe hurt if they've said no to a LOT of recent calls, etc) is the same way others feel when I decline theirs! That doesn't change if it was MISSED rather than DECLINED, but it can be repaired! Ao another thing I've taken to doing is naming for people the calls I have learned I'm most likely to miss. I know I have a hard time understanding/recognizing small talk as a call to attention, so I let people know that! And generally the people I connect best with are the ones who notice I missed a call and offer me an explicit/direct opportunity to reject it before internalizing what I've done as a rejection. This isn't really an option for everyone! And while I'm always delighted when someone is compatible with me in that way, I don't get upset if they're not, and work to not take it personally as something I'm doing wrong either.

Anyway, this got rambly at the end there, but the point is, most social interactions have a FUNCTION and while being autistic frequently means that we struggle to learn and interact in these systems as they currently exist, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't also depend on those functions. I think it can be easy to forget that part of the "disabling" effects of social/communication symptoms in autism is how it cuts us off from systems of support, care, and human interconectedness (things we still NEED) and it can matter to our quality of life to be able to find compatible alternatives to fulfilling those functions even if the original mechanism (small talk in this case) doesn't suit us.

Being bad at small talk doesn't mean you don't need friends, but it will probably make it very hard to MAKE friends. And we each and all deserve to decide for ourselves what to do about that.

I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.

[rainb0ws-h4t]

Another imagine before I dissapear again

Tw: slight yandere, stalking

Imagine you are a side character in the main plot of Twisted Wonderland. You hold no use in the story's progress, neither do you interact much with the main cast. You aren't aware of this at all, and continue to live your life as a regular student in Night Raven College.

Until a fascinating phenomenon happens that summons a magicless human from another world. Everyone gravitates towards them as they spend more and more time in Twisted Wonderland.

But who wouldn't be enamoured by their presence?

The magicless prefect of Ramshackle who is a denominator at every overblot? The magicless prefect of Ramshackle who melts down the walls of every stone cold housewarden (no Kalim‼️) of Night Raven? The magicless prefect of Ramshackle who fascinates and impresses you with each heroic act they do?

They're lively, strong, and dazzling.

Their name was a common topic in the bustling halls. Heck— some students even became fanboys of the infamous prefect, gushing about them during breaks like a teenage schoolgirl.

You honestly thought you'd just be another nameless student in the crowd of people vying for their attention. After all, you had no involvement in whatever plot was happening currently.

And you were fine with that.

With the shit they've gone through, you'd rather not get involved with any of the things they do daily. Plus, the people they interacted with either scared you to death or just annoying and loud students that you'd rather rip your ears off than listen to them yap.

Until, you've did something that redirected the entire plot entirely.

You strolled through the halls of NRC at an ungodly hour. You couldn't sleep, and frankly— just didn't want to be in the presence of other dorm mates sleeping.

You'd didn't expect anyone to be awake at this time. After all, a test was being held early in the morning. You were confident you could wake up in time for that though.

As you walked calmly through the silent halls, yu noticed a figure standing next to a window. You hoped it wasn't a teacher or anything. Getting caught sneaking out wouldnt look good on your record.

You opted to just sneak behind them quietly. Not like you were being loud anyway.

While you did so, you just happened to notice how familiar the figure appeared. So eerily familiar to that infamous prefect you've grown to admire so fondly...

*Thud*

FUCK.

You weren't paying attention to whre you were walking and tripped on practically nothing. The figure turned around, alarmed and frightened. The original alarmed expression now transitioned into confusion at the display of your pathetic state.

"W-who are you?"

Every living thing dies once in a lifetime,

You died two times in your lifetime.

Awkwardly, you attempted to stand up without looking even more like a moron. "Just another student... Strolling around.."

"And what are you doing here.?" They asked.

"Well,.. I didn't really feel like sleeping right now." The prefect nodded in response, they didn't seem intent on responding with anything else.

"What are you doing here?" You asked suddenly.

The prefect looked up at you at that, making eye contact. "I... Everything..." They kept opening their mouth and closing it. They looked so vulnerable and timid that you doubted that this was the prefect that assisted in every overblot.

"It's just so..." Tears streaked down their eyes.

Without thinking, you wrapped your arms around them and engulfed them in a big hug. Hoping that the warmth that you can provide would be enough to clear the tears.

"I just w-wanna go home... I dont w-wanna be here anymore." They sobbed, pulling you closer.

That night, you comforted the sobbing prefect and woke up with five minutes left to get ready for the test.

You're not sure if that's what stared it, but the prefect has been gravitating towards you a lot. They sat in the same lunch table as you, they strayed away from her friends more often (with only grim as a companion), walked to classes with you, and even invited you to their ever growing friend group.

Past you would've relished in the attention being showered on you personally by the prefect, but...

Everywhere you went with Yuu (they told you to call them that) was followed by a lingering feeling of multiple pairs of eyes that bore into your skin. You hated it. And that feeling only began to increase whenever you were alone.

There was one time that you escorted Yuu home, and they hugged you as a thanks. A loud thunder rang through the entire campus the second it occured. You slipped out of their grasp and scurried away immediately.

You forgot to mention but..

Yuu radiated a dazzling and alluring aura that everyone was attracted to. Whatever they felt towards Yuu was not your business, but those people they interact with always made it clear they wanted Yuu. It disturbed you in a way. They seemed so dazzled and the way they wanted to be in their presence 24/7 was borderline creepy and obsessive.

One thing you learned about Yuu was that they noticed it too. They were exhausted from keeping up the facade that they had on. And basically— exhausted from the guys that lurked wherever they went. They confessed that they felt disturbed by how erratic their behaviour was around them, but they were too frightened to say anything that might cause them to react suddenly.

You couldn't bring yourself to confess how you felt the same about them.

Those creepy ass leech twins with their menacing grins.

That rule-obssesed maniac that stopped you in a hallway and demanded you stay away from Yuu. (Rule 636? 352? Who even cares anymore?)

Some advanced machinery that circled the garden you were trying to rest in.

You swore you were nothing more than a side character in the story of theirs. You swore that if did get involved with Yuu, it wouldn't even have a lasting impact.

Now as Yuu gushed about how the boys seemed to have lessened their weird behaviour and began to act normal. You couldn't help but feel the curse that was placed over Yuu, was now transferred over to you.

You know you couldn't be alone from this point onward.

[hkthatgffan]

What's actually your opinion on Stanford Pines?

Oh, that's an interesting question. Short answer; I like Ford and think he's a great, flawed but lovable character who has endured a lot and come out of it a better man than he was before. Now, if you want my long answer...keep reading beyond this for why I feel that way.

Back when I first saw Gravity Falls, I thought Ford was okay. He wasn't so much a favourite of mine (that title then and still belongs to Dipper and Mabel for me), nor was I as interested in him. I did love reading up everything in Journal 3 about him and all his antics.

During the Mabel hate era in 2018, I did somewhat sour in my opinion on Ford as I felt fans were being too harsh on Mabel and not realizing some of the negatives about him and how Dipper and Mabel were drifting into the same direction Ford and Stan had become. I felt angry that fans were hating on Mabel and calling out her mistakes but downplaying other characters', Ford included.

But then, if you were around in 2018 and remember the Mabel debates that raged on then...you know how messy it was no matter what side you were on, lmao. Be it anti or pro Mabel or Ford, people really debated long and hard during that time and it's an era I'm glad we're more or less past.

In the years since and having heard more takes from fans who like Ford and get him in ways I didn't, I do find myself appreciating and liking Ford a lot more than I did back then. I'm still always gonna be defensive of Mabel and firm on my stance that Dipper staying behind in Gravity Falls with Ford was the worst outcome that could've happened in that scenario, but I see Ford in a lens less of hatred and more realization that...the whole situation was a learning experience for everyone in that situation. Ford learned something from it, Mabel did, Dipper did...all of them did.

To me, Ford is a character that is good at heart. Like every member of the Pines family, he's flawed and has made mistakes that he's overcome and improved from. And as we see again in The Book of Bill...there is one major new thing we really see that makes him all the better in my eyes now than he used to be!

I've spoken about this before when someone asked what my stance on Billford is, but I think as someone who has survived being in toxic situations with people who made my life worse the same way Bill was a toxic person to Ford, I understand him more so now than I used to.

What we see is Ford and Bill having a partnership (or friendship or relationship depending on how you see it) that was toxic. Bill was manipulative, took Ford and tried to mold him into what he wanted him to be. And Ford eventually realized that but Bill made his life hell for trying to escape. Ford eventually being able to and learn to find happiness in his family and friends was an incredible thing to see and that single thing, having been through such shit myself as others probably can relate too, changed Ford in a huge way for me for the better.

Ford to me is a guy who managed to overcome the worst thrown at him and be able to let go of that whole situation and escape it to become better. And we all deserve that. We all deserve to escape the Bill Ciphers in our life, find our Pines family and grow and become better and happier from that.

That is what I think of Stanford Pines. He's a character who is flawed. He's a character who has his ups and downs. But at his core, he is a guy who overcame adversities thrown at him and found a way to live a better and more fulfilling life with those who appreciate and love him for who he is. For a character I once felt no real connection or understanding for and more so hatred...he sure has come a long way for the better and I couldn't be more proud of him.

I know for others this may not be how they see Ford or you may even look at what I said and think I missed the whole point. But that's okay. Because these characters are for us as fans to relate and find aspects in them we can understand. Headcanons exist for a reason. To me, that's how I see Ford. To you, he may be something else.

That's the beauty of this show. Headcanon these character the way you please, without fear or worry of being told you're wrong. Alex has said no headcanon to him will ever be confirmed or denied...so headcanon and perceive these characters the way you feel. Because we all are Gravity Falls fans...and love them the way we do.

But FR, we need more Mabel and Ford bonding. That's all I want from this show now...these two just having fun and being awesome, lol!!

[anomaliex]

fabian and fig not ever having died is SO interesting to me, like i was relistening to the early episodes (crazy sentence since i’ve been a fan since 2020) and his desire to protect is such an interesting trait bc yes both he and fig have it, bc i think they both have that protective instinct + genuine desire to do so, but also the way fabian was raised to be ‘the man’ and part of that is being strong enough to defend not only your self but your family. like the thing where he chooses to save his mama in the end of s1 despite definitely would of rather having bill survive, and bill says i would have slit you in half if you saved me over her. this is all to say id love to hear if u have any more thoughts on fabian’s feelings

YEAH YEAH YEAH YOURE SO RIGHT!! I think there is a point in time where Fabian feels genuinely helpless and useless because he lets people get hurt and can't undo it. Or I guess that's not what I think, thats just canon. (I just finished answering this ask and I yapped a lot even though what I was actually trying to say is so straightforward. My bad lmao.)

It starts in freshman year. Younger Fabian thinks he is the most skilled and important kid in the world and then he gets that rug pulled from under him. I know he was adventuring with his father a little before but his first real own fight ends with two of his new friends dead. That sucked. He was arguably the most dejected afterwards? Like yeah Gorgug was having a rough time but Gorgug was having a rough time the whole day, Fabian went from such a high to such a low. He absolutely did not think he'd care that much going in, but then, be was under the impression that he's so strong and capable; if he's so strong then why did his allies die? Doesn't that prove his weakness? Some scrawny kid arguably showed more bravery than him by jumping right into a monster, and the bravest Fabian felt was probably when he managed to help Riz after that went south.

He absolutely was raised to "be a man" and more importantly a leader, but before that day Fabian wasn't ever actually responsible for anyone's safety — not even his own, because he grew up both coddled and socially isolated. The first time Fabian feels responsibility for the well being of others (which he has to take, because he is Fabian Aramais Seacaster and he's obviously in charge, right?) he realises how fucking heavy it weighs on his shoulders.

Later they have some fuck ups with Adaine and Kristen and get whooped into shape by his father and Fabian gets it into his head that yeah, he (and Gorgug) are the front liners. They're the protectors. He's strong and capable (and still so much better than most other people) and he's going to protect his friends (that he cares about so so so much even if he's at a point where he can't openly admit it) and nothing bad is going to happen and after defeating Kalvaxus it maybe seems like that's true and then BAM sophomore year. Two of his friends go missing. Fig ends up kind of fine "just" possessed but Riz is decidedly NOT fine and he had to fight a creepy mirror Riz not-clone and there is a moment where he thinks his best friend (who he, at this point refuses to openly call his best friend because he's a shitty insecure teenage boy) is fucking dead. I think Fabian had not yet considered how he'd feel if any of his friends died (again) before that, of course he didn't that's a crazy thing to think about. He'd managed to brush off the corn monster dilemma because that was their first fight and they were just inexperienced but it's never gonna happen again, but it does. His father also also died when he wasn't there — does this mean something? Do people die when he's not making sure to watch them? How can he keep everyone he cares about safe when he is just one man and all his hands know how to do is to slay one monster after the other in hopes they never reach his loved ones.

It's probably fine, he thinks, until it's not. Chungle Down Bim Arc. Right when he thinks he's in his element and feels good and smart and important and powerful he leads a crew of people straight to their death and comes out of it humiliated and needing to be saved and maybe he was never that strong at all.

He regains his confidence by stepping up as a protector and supporting his friends. Like yes a big part of it is just discovering that he's passionate about dancing but the bigger part is arguably putting out the fires on his party members. Fabian is so capable and worthy and helpful and he is keeping his friends from harm and he feels like himself again but also like a new man.

They enter the Nightmare King's Forest and it's his heroism spell that keeps Kristen safe. His magic born from the desire to protect. For just a moment he feels like he found himself and his battle sheet feels nice and warm under his finger tips and he feels right in his skin.

Then Kristen fucking dies.

And she doesn't just die, no, she dies in front of him when he elected to go with her and was supposed to keep her safe. He is supposed to protect his friends now and yet, and yet, he can't actually do anything. Kristen is dead and he doesn't know what happened and he doesn't know how to help and he is useless because there is nothing he can do to reach beyond death like Kristen has done to help them (mostly Gilear) oh so many times.

Then Riz and Adaine die. Everyone dies. Why do his friends keep dying and Fabian is always fine — why was he fine after the shit in Leviathan when everyone else died and he definitely should have met his demise as well? Is he strong? Is he just lucky? Is this a cruel trick of fate? Why does he, despite being stupid and reckless and putting people in danger again and again and again continue to survive when no one else does after he fails to protect them?

Fig hasn't died either, but she learns revivify and even starts creating diamonds to cast it on the spot. She's saving their friends. She's being helpful. She's using the gift of being permitted to stay alive again and again to help, and what is he doing? Nothing. He's not doing shit.

Except that's not right, because there is something he can do. There's something he did do. Because Riz was falling and slipping past his reach and he really thought he'd loose his friend but then the extension of himself that is so deeply connected to his own self discovery and acceptance reaches out and saves him. It saves Riz and embraces him so gently and brings him to Fabian so he can cradle him and swaddle him and keep him safe and the flames that are supposed to be so hot and destructive are simply just warm. It reaffirms his discovery that yes, this is good. This new him is a little softer and maybe a little less imposing but it's helpful and good, and he just has to focus on the fact that this new him knows how to protect his friends.

No longer is his version of protection just killing whatever is threatening them before it gets the chance to hurt, now it's more preventing harm. Which is so simple and obvious but it never occurred to him, and maybe it's stupid that it took him this long to learn, but all he ever knew was to be ruthless and to fight and to demand respect because that's how his father did it — but Fabian isn't his father and he's learning to be okay with that, and maybe he isn't even a leader but that doesn't mean that he does not hold the power to do what he wants.

Fabian can't do magic to revive anyone but he can and he must and he will keep them from dying in the first place in the future, and the strained muscles and calloused hands that previously sought only to fight for glory and recognition now act as a shield to keep others safe. They have to. If not that then he can't do anything else.

He regains his cocky attitude but with just a little more grace, he regains his fighting spirit but instead of being a champion (hurt fight kill) he's a battlemaster with manoeuvres that prevent foes from getting to his friends. He regains his grandiose presence, demanding attention in every space he enters, but now it serves to essentially draw aggro. Almost all of his spells are support or utility spells! Yeah that's because he is a college of swords bard and fighting wise acts like a martial but in character that means something. Fabian knows feather fall. He needs his precious spell slots to do damage and a younger Fabian with the same build would only focus on that and maybe buff himself, but this Fabian will always cast feather fall. He will never watch one of his friends almost slip through his fingers again.

That's not to say that he isn't still stupid, or occasionally reckless, or stops throwing himself into battle without thinking it through. But his priorities have shifted and his way of thinking has too and he can never ever allow anyone to fall while he's still standing. And maybe he didn't even change that much, maybe he just got more Fabian, less Bill. Because it was already a Freshman Year Fabian that took the sentinel feat (which in universe would translate to him purposely learning how to slow down opponents), no one else.

[hi-i-just]

Orion is 'selfish' (<- using this very loosely, he's more insensitive more than anything) in the sense he gets so taken by the bigger picture he doesn't really occur to him to consider how it affects the smaller people in his method — mostly D-16, who is the person closest to him.

D-16's outburst in the cave is part-projection, but it's partly true too. "But it doesn't matter what I want, right Pax?" is not a statement that comes out of nowhere; that's how D-16 feels whenever Orion goes off in another 'run' for the greater good for everybody. Yes, Orion wants what would benefit for everyone else — what he fails to do is to respect other people's wants and choices. That was the flaw Orion had to learn from.

Because turns out? Yeah, he did suck at respecting D's wants and choices. Tricking him to joining the race was just the most egregious example. D has already made it EXPLICITLY clear he doesn't wanna go on the race, all with his own valid and understandable reasons, what does Orion do? Had him go on the race anyway.

"But it ended being beneficial/it was for the greater good!" You could say the same for life-saving surgery, but even then doctors have to respect your decision if you choose not to go through it.

"But D ended up enjoying it in the end even if he said no at first!" if you say something like that about your partner if you had sex that counts as rape. (And extreme example, but I want to be very clear about the importance of consent here).

Consent is no small thing. Respecting it is respecting the individual and acknowledging their autonomy. My sister does not like to be hugged most of the time — there's no 'grand' reason to it, it doesn't harm her, it doesn't even distress her, it's straight up just a hug — she just doesn't like it. Do I still hug her anyway? NO. Because she said NO. Simple as that. And that's just a mundane and trivial example. What Orion did was worse.

Yes, he meant well, but even after D listed his reasons why he doesn't wanna join the race (he can't transform, might get humiliated/demoted, injured/killed even! ALL super reasonable and more than valid), ORION STILL TRICKED HIM TO JOIN THE RACE. I don't think people even realize just how unimaginably shitty it was for Orion to do. I do think a lot of people end up justifying what Orion did because "he's Optimus Prime, he does what's good!" when the scene makes it obvious he's doing something pretty shitty. It gets buried under the humor of the racing scene, shit I laughed too, but when I saw Orion latched the jetpack unto D I was PISSED. And that anger and irritation remained even long after that scene ended.

The worst part? Is that it's likely this isn't the only time Orion did something like this — it's just the one we get to see most recently. It's 50 cycles of your well-meaning friend not respecting you and your choices and your reasons.

"Then why didn't D speak up then??" Why the FUCK did it need for D to speak up to Orion for Orion to realize that not respecting people's consent is shitty?? 💀 When respecting people's consent is supposed to be the default. That aside, what I do appreciate about Orion, is that when people call him out, he does change! He does acknowledge that D's criticism, while overblown and mixed with projection, had some nick of truth in it, and changed.

The Orion that made those speech with the miners, asking them for help and letting them choose instead of telling them to follow him and fight? The Orion in the beginning of the movie would not be able to do that. D's outburst, hurtful as it is, was necessary and humbling. It was a wake-up call to the one thing missing that what makes Orion Pax become Optimus Prime — respecting people's freedom to choose.

I'm going to do a better analysis but I'm surprised that many label Orion Pax as bad selfish for being a rebel.

Let's recap: they lived in a system that treated them like garbage "because of how they were born" where you had to submit and even suffer physical and verbal abuse.unable to defend himself

Even all this atmosphere affects jazz

d16 justifies the mistreatment she received, Elita calls herself a mistake with legs, they even belittle the life of miners because it is protocol, if it weren't for Orion and d16, Jazz would be dead.

That many say it is selfish is an erroneous term because remember Orion's actions are driven by the fact that they want a better life for everyone outside of that abuse.

His actions are reckless more than anything

I'm not saying he's a saint because he's not, but many of his actions have some justification, but then I'll do a better analysis.

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[maxiwaxipads]

Romarriche - “Your company is one of a kind… I would never lie to you. I would never say a half-truth or be quiet.” “What is it in your mind, Merold?” “Hearing your voice, complaint or not—it is music to me either way.” Merold - “If there is one constant in this world… Let it be you.” “You’re the cruelest and the kindest thing that happened to me.” “…If only you continued to look at me like that.” Romarriche - “…Merold?” Merold - “But~ It’s only a minor case of bad-mood-itis.” “So Romarriche, spoil me with a spar, will you?” Romarriche - “Merold.” Romarriche - “Look at me.” Merold - “…” Romarriche - “Is something… Wrong?” Merold - “Instead of a spar…” “I might want to lie down on your lap after all.”

[bumpscosity]

my karate teacher from when i was a kid would sometimes come in half sick and justify it by claiming that you only really spread germs before you even know you're sick so it was fine

[maddy-ferguson]

talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)

[medicinemane]

At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me

I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to

Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head

[lyknest]

something really sweet happened today and i wanted to share!

so in my college (it's a 2 years course), the 1st year students of the club im in threw us a farewell party, and we were completely blown away! they all had prepared speeches for us and got us personalized gifts, it was all so sweet i almost cried! and since im also one of the heads of the club, i felt so proud and emotional!

last year, we had the worst toxic seniors to the point that i had mental breakdowns because of them, and had vowed to create a safe environment for the new students and im really happy we could do that 🥹

[classicintp]

That's what dating USED TO BE, meeting new people to see how compatible you were as friends. That's why it was acceptable to see multiple people at the same time. The end goal might still have been a lead up to a romantic relationship, but that could be after months of dating.

Problem was that back then that style of dating was largely shaped by how the puritanical culture saw casual sex/pre-marital sex as extreme taboo. Today society is 1000x more sex positive, but since people are still largely raised in a culture that promotes monogamy, you have a majority of the population that dates for sexual compatibility first while burdening each other with monogamous commitment before you've even had important personal conversations or experienced anything with each other.

I don't think there's anything wrong with casual sex, just that we need to bring back the idea that strong, meaningful long-term relationships are formed from time and consideration. You can assign that to relationships that are familial, platonic, sexual, romantic, monogamous or otherwise. A platonic best friend comes from the same kind of time, experience, and consideration as a future spouse. Like OP said, date your friends, and if none of your friends match the kind of relationship you're looking to advance to, make new friends. Meet people with the intention of being good friends, rather than dating strangers with the expectation of falling in love in a week.

btw dating sucks as a concept.

[luulapants]

talking to people recently out of prison: a do-and-don't guide

Don't ask, "How was prison?" (Answer: traumatic!)

Do ask, "What are you most looking forward to doing again now that you're out?"

Don't ask, "How long were you in for?" (Answer: too long!)

Do ask, "Is there any technology or pop culture I can help catch you up on?"

Don't ask, "How are you going to avoid getting back into bad behaviors?" (Leave the paternalistic bullshit to their PO.)

Do ask, "How's your support network? Do you have people helping you adjust?"

Don't ask, "Do you have a job yet?" (Their PO is asking them ALL the time, don't worry.)

Do ask, "Are there any opportunities I should keep an ear out for and let you know about?"

Don't ask, "Do you have an ankle monitor?" (And definitely don't ask to see it - no one likes to be gawked at.)

Do ask, "Do you have parole restrictions we need to accommodate when making plans?"

Don't say, "Hey, you shouldn't be doing that - it's against your parole!" (A lot of parole restrictions are bullshit, and they are an adult who deserves agency, even the agency to take risks.)

Do ask, "Are there any bullshit parole restrictions you need help working around?"

Don't ask, "Are you an addict?" (Not everyone in prison is, and they'll tell you if they want you to know.)

Do say, "If there's stuff you might get in trouble for, like empty alcohol containers, I can throw them away at my place."

Don't say, "It's probably best if you put your whole prison life behind you and start fresh." (Just because it was traumatic doesn't mean important experiences and relationships didn't happen there.)

Do say, "If you have letters from friends on the inside that you don't want your PO to find, you can keep them at my place."

Don't say, "You paid your debt to society." (Regardless of what they may have done, harm cannot be repaid through senseless suffering.)

Do say, "You are more than the worst thing you've ever done."

Do not ever ask "What were you arrested for?"/"What did you do?"/"Were you guilty?"

People are more than the worst thing they've ever done.

[aromanticannibal]

Weirdly i haven't seen ppl being mean abt Izuku this time around. My timeline everywhere is just

Bkdk from Jp artists. Izuku sensei. Bkdk from american artists. Izuku thirst trap. Kacchan thirst trap. Bnha movie/game. Izuku sensei. Izuku sensei. Izuku sensei. Porn of random character

The little i saw abt that collab are people being sad they can't get the burger combo or smth.

godbless

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?