#i didn't do it on purpose btw

[beanghostprincess]

*discreetly drops straw hats tier list* they're my pookies and i love them all a lot <3 (the order is also from left to right btw)

link

[mellosdrawings]

ITS THE FACT THEY STILL HOLD HANDS EVEN WHEN JAMIL SWITCHES TO LEONA’S LEFT 😭😭🙌

YOU HAVE SUCH AN EYE FOR DETAIL

Little details make everything :3

I can't claim I always do those things, but hand placement or little details like changing the side with which you carry a bag when you walk alongside someone is important. It shows thoughtless care, which is the cutest, most important show of silent love to me.

[mellohiizz]

There’s too much angst in here, could I req a odyssey duo reuniting after the chunkban to make up for the immense amount of sadness around here

thank you, anon.

[patheticrafeenjoyer]

the OG4 P4L playlist

i had to fucking edit this all by hand so i wouldn't have to leak my irl spotify....... also, there's obviously much more than this, but i didn't put bob marley and/or peter tosh's entire discography on here even tho i know thats what kie has in there. just trying to get a sense of the kinds of vibe that each pogue would bring to the playlist.

[cyellolemon]

Emi having fun with its freaky boyfriend :)

[ominous-feychild]

Guys I literally JUST realized a thing about my autism/masking/alexithymia. I noticed there was an alexithymia tag here on tumblr and when I investigated, there was this one post listing these symptoms:

and I just--

I've had these exact, MAJOR struggles through my whole life for one.

But for two, and what's really interesting in my opinion...

Yesterday, I was having a video call with my mom. I've been off of some medications that I'm supposed to be taking because of financial issues, so my mental is NOT in a great place and I've had NO spoons for the past month. But while on call with her, she seriously, unironically, asked me if I thought I really needed the meds. Because, apparently, I "wasn't acting like I needed them" or something like that. And I'm sure I don't need to explain why that pissed me tf off.

But, like... at the time, the closest thing I could come up with for an answer was that "I have no spoons and no energy to do anything"; "I lived 17 years without meds, I kind-of know how to fake it"; and "I haven't had much socializing lately, so I have enough Social Energy™ to fake being okay right now."

Now that I'm not being put on the spot and after reading that post, I'm slowly figuring out that I've always done this. I mean, I've obviously always struggled to describe my own emotions and need to analyze my physical reactions to figure them out, but like. I'm just now starting to realize that I've really struggled to describe exactly how I'm "feeling bad" or, in fact, that I am feeling bad at all.

I mean, again, considering the alexithymia, that last part is a given. But it's kinda putting into perspective exactly how I've always had to understand "I don't have the energy to do anything" or "it's incredibly difficult to do anything" or "something deep inside of me feels Wrong™ and I can neither address nor identify it". I'd just passively have those "feelings" and struggle to continue life despite them.

It brings back thoughts of my struggles with masking, and how I was never diagnosed with autism as a child. Looking back, it should've been incredibly obvious. I had SO many of the tell-tale signs. But I guess it wasn't today, and there wasn't anywhere near as much awareness of what those signs were... but really. Textbook.

I'm sure my masking made it more difficult to recognize the signs as I got older. Hell, I even read over different "autism diagnosis checklist"s countless times, thinking to myself "oh wow it's a lot like me!... exceeeeeptttt--" and moved on from there.

I keep digressing. My point is, since discovering my autism and how it was hidden by masking, I've always wondered where my mask ends and where I begin. Most of the time, I feel like I feel nothing, even when I'm not depressed. I've been told I don't show my emotions, like when I'm happy (aka my chest is light and I feel free). That, or people can't tell when I like/dislike them (though that's partially a trauma thing). Other times, I've been told I'm smiling when I didn't even realize I was happy, much less that I was actually smiling. Some people have told me I'm incredibly easy to read, that my emotions show very clearly. But how can they when I feel like I feel nothing?

Which leads me back to what I said earlier, my conversation with my mother. How she asked if I actually need my meds because "I don't seem like I do". I guess I kind-of understand now, why she might've seen it that way. Do most people always show signs of how they actually feel? And how does the fact that I "don't feel" effect what I show?

I've wondered about that for a while. How much of how I act is because I was trained to, one way or another? How much of the emotion I show is because I learned to? Do I even show the emotions I feel? I really can't know because the people I know irl, who would better be able to tell me how I act, aren't understanding of any of these things. My older sister is lowkey ableist and thinks she sees the grand plan of the universe, my mother is too "pull yourself up by the bootstraps!!!" to accept Spoon Theory or mental health struggles, and just about everyone else in my life comes and goes as quickly as the wind.

Anyhow, this was a long rant that I've kinda had half-formed thoughts about for a while. Thanks for reading, hopefully this can help or entertain whoever stumbles upon this?

[guzhufuren]

cried in a supermarket for Meet You At The Blossom related reasons today again. i was chatting with a member of the show's pr team (the chat happened accidentally), and got to messaging my gratitude in a big text which made me extremely emotional to compose, and then she was genuinely touched and expressed gratitude back, and there i was weeping near the cat food shelves. my second time crying like this in that supermarket this week. that's what being gay does to you

[silverware-is-interesting]

some things i did with band kinito 'cause he's still pretty fun to draw

a will wood fan? me?! shocking! you could never guess! i've never posted a redraw of the normal album cover that i would've done with kinito or maybe sonny if i felt up to it maybe i will eventually. idk

i just searched up paint samples and chose a random picture for the palate here (i forgot the piercings i just can't be bothered to go fix it :/)

and some doodles of this stupid guy.

he's basically like that 'dramatic and annoying theatre kid' troupe. he fits that almost to a tee.

[liauditore]

biomechanical horrors <3 <3 <3

Part One

~

<RETRIEVED FILE. CODE: HCS9DO2.>

Tango's alive.

We don't know how and we don't care.

He was... Half of him was covered in that stuff. Sculk. He's been down there for months, it should've eaten him alive by now, according to everything we know.. His survival could mean endless things for the scientific community but I don't even care to think about that right now.

When.. When I saw him in that thing's mouth the cockpit, limp and curled up in his seat, I'd feared it was confirmation of what we had all been expecting..

I hate to admit it but I.. didn't want to look any longer. If it was just me back there, Tango would've really been a goner...

Skizz.. has never been one for logical thinking. It drives me insane but it might've saved our friend. That moron has a heart too good for this world. I hadn't thought it possible that human hands could shatter Decked Out's windshield like that... maybe she was worn from her time in the Deep Dark?

Either way, he's.. stable, according to the medics. Breathing. He woke for a bit earlier and was just kind of.. standing there, staring at something off in the distance. I put him back in bed and told him to try and rest.

Morning. We'll look for answers in the morning.

<End Log>

~

RETRIEVED FROM SITE

PILOT Tango Tek - Unconscious. Sculk-infested. Currently receiving care. Missed you, buddy.

PILOT SUIT, TEK Variety, mark07 - Tango's pilot suit that he designed himself. Covered in sculk. We're trying our best to clean it but the stuff's stubborn as hell... Might be good to just discard it. Surely Tango wouldn't be too mad?

SCULK SAMPLES - that thing was covered in sculk and shriekers alike... it's like it was... pulsing... like it had a heartbeat...

DECKED OUT - she's beyond help, I'm afraid.

~

<RETRIEVED FILE. CODE: HCS9DO2.>

Tango's gone again.

He clawed my face in when I tried to hold him down. It'll heal, but... I just... I didn't expect that from him, I guess. He took the suit too, barrelled through a dozen nurses and security guards to get to it.

That thing, it... it heaved itself to the surface on its arms. You could hear it from the centre of town. The ground beneath it screeched. It looked like it was in pain.

It dragged itself all the way to the edge of the shopping district. We had no idea what to do, it shouldn't be able to move without a pilot or power. It shouldn't have teeth either.

It sat there for half an hour. Its jaw unhinged and slacked onto the pavement. I remember the first time I watched a whale beach itself. It was a lot like that but... this thing felt like it knew what it wanted from us.

Eventually it just got up and left like nothing happened.

I think Tango's in it again.

[lord-squiggletits]

Today I went absolutely nuts over Pharma on main in Discord lmao. He should've gotten to kill more people just as reparations for all the shit he went through and then being completely ditched by his best friend and the cause he spent almost his entire life serving.

Like it really does suck how everyone including Ratchet (and Ambulon too???) heard about Pharma harvesting organs for the DJD and just immediately assumed Pharma was a traitor/double agent like.... THAT Pharma. Notorious Decepticon-hater Pharma. Pharma who's been an Autobot since the start of the war and is best friends with another loyal Autobot. That Pharma. Tooootally the most reasonable explanation is that he's a traitor and not. Y'know. That the DJD are a bunch of drug-addicted cultist freaks who literally practice torture, murder, and war crimes as their entire jobs. Couldn't be it. Pharma is just Doctor DJD I guess

[lisxdumbr]

The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah

[philippagordon]

hello everyone, I hope you're all doing great! just passing by to say i'm officially going to be a librarian :) follow your dreams kids

[ruvviks]

HARBINGER; a person or thing that shows that something is going to happen soon, especially something bad.

[alongtidesoflight]

not to be mentally ill on main but apparently i skipped eating all day and then went to a christmas market with a couple of my fellow students and one of them bought me food without asking as in they just gave it to me and said that they noticed i didn't eat all day and i don't think anyone's ever noticed AND acted on that and i'm feeling all kinds of feelings about it

[doodlingwren]

It's 2024 can we please stop saying it's normal to trace or copying an entire drawing and pretending it's 100% your work? Just bc you changed the character or added clothes on a base you found on pinterest it doesn't mean you created original art

[goodideawrong]

she's pretty, witty, and i feel gay