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#i didn’t do one for secret life cause i just couldn’t come up with a good song for it but we’ll see what happens next season
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i used to do edits for the first session of every life series (within a week of them coming out) and while i stopped doing that after limited life, i kinda miss it and might do it again for next season, we’ll see. regardless i’m still a big fan of this one.
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thyme-in-a-bubble · 2 months
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hayloft
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a/n: so…. i watched twisters…………
summary: “so what you’re saying is that you just came in here seeking shelter from the rain?” a smirk dazzled his features, “out of every shed and every other barn you passed on your way back to the house, you conveniently chose this one which I just so happen to still be in from when you poked your head in earlier,” his gaze briefly dipped down to your soaked through, and now sheer, t-shirt.
warnings: farmhand!tyler owens x farmer's daughter!reader, smut, farmer au, secret relationship, established relationship, bull rider!tyler, rain, sex on a hayloft, kissing, dirty talk, oral, facesitting, manhandling, impact play, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, wrote this in the middle of the night oops, click here for the prequel to this story
word count: 1673
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Rain splattered against the barn door as you fought to tug it closed, droplets whipped your face until the very last second when you finally managed to latch it shut. 
“Hey,” a deep timbre crackled from behind you, causing you to whirl around. 
“Oh, hi Tyler,” a smile couldn’t help but creep up on your features as you spotted the painstakingly handsome farmhand, “what are you doing in here?” 
A chuckle then bubbled out of him as he leaned the long pitchfork in his grasp against a nearby wall.
“My job, ma’am.”
“Of course, right,” one of your hands shot up to wipe your wet face, though without much success as your palms too were completely drenched. 
“Better question is,” he took a step closer to where you stood, dripping onto the dusty barn floors, “what are you doing in here?” 
“Oh, well, I was just coming home from a ride on Blue when the rain came pouring down, so–” 
“So what you’re saying is that you just came in here seeking shelter from the rain?” a smirk dazzled his features, “out of every shed and every other barn you passed on your way back to the house, you conveniently chose this one which I just so happen to still be in from when you poked your head in earlier,” his gaze briefly dipped down to your soaked through, and now sheer, t-shirt.
“Hm,” you hummed through your smile, “yeah, that really is convenient,” neither denying nor affirming his accusation as you then teasingly twisted away from the close proximity his slow stride had created.
Catching the ladder that led up to the open hayloft, you slowly began to climb it. 
“Just what are you doing now?” you heard from behind you. 
“You said you were working,” you glanced over your shoulder, successfully catching Tyler staring at your ass through your jean shorts, “so I’m getting out of your hair.” 
“Oh, is that what you’re doing?”
“That’s right,” you reached the top and plopped yourself down on the planks, “I’m kind that way. So now, just go back to whatever you were doing, lifting heavy things or whatever,” you waved a vague hand down at him in hopes that he would put on a show for you and let you ogle the way his muscles flexed beneath his tight shirt. 
But he didn’t pick the pitchfork back up. 
Instead, he simply blew out a soft chuckle, gazing up at you as a light shake found his head, staring up at your drenched visage just a moment longer before he began to climb the ladder as well. 
A giggle rolled off your tongue as he reached the top, a gentle sound that he then swiftly smothered as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, still balanced on the ladder, clutching onto the sides as he reached you, sitting cross-legged on the floor before him. 
“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” 
“Me?” you tilted your lips out of his reach, “I am an angel. I’ve never done anything wrong in my life,” a grin accompanied your jest. 
As he climbed the rest of the way up onto the loft, you didn’t shift away to make room for him, only leaned back on your forearms as he blissfully crawled to settle above you. 
When you raised yourself up to kiss him once more, you only got to taste him for but a moment, only shyly managing to sink your fingers into the hem of his shirt, before he denied you of any more. 
“I swear to god, it’s like you want your daddy to catch us with the way you keep throwing yourself at me.”
Letting out a light-hearted scoff, you said, “excuse me? First of all, it’s raining and even if it wasn’t, he’s not coming down here, not this time of day, and second of all, talk about yourself, sir,” you hooked your legs up and over the small of his back, “you’re the one always stealing kisses from me even when you know he’s around,” you counted, “oh, also that one time in the tool shed? It doesn’t matter that you covered my mouth, he for sure knew something was going on in there,” Tyler’s smile only brightened at the recollection, “and don’t even get me started on the way you’re always looking at me.”
“How do I look at you?” 
“You know how…” you laughed, melting under his gaze, “you’re doing it right now.” 
“Oh, am I?” he acted as if it wasn’t completely on purpose how his eyes undressed you, “I’m sorry, I hadn’t noticed.” 
Leaning down to capture your lips once more, a light squeak then escaped your lungs as he suddenly rolled over onto his back, onto a low pile of loose hay, dragging you along with him.
But as your body rested atop his, completely plastered against one another as his broad hands took their time raking down your curves, a soft chuckle rumbled in his chest and vibrated against your tongue. 
“Oh my god, you’re so fucking wet,” he laughed, playfully giving the drenched denim clinging to your ass a swift tap. 
Pushing yourself up a bit more, you spotted the splotchy stamp you’d transferred all down Tyler’s front. 
“Yeah well, I was just caught in the rain, what do you want me to do?” 
“It really did get you good, didn’t it?” you felt his hands shift and nimbly undo your shorts.
“Mhm,” you nodded, blinking down at him as he yanked your soaked shorts down and tossed them off to the side, onto a hay bale. 
“You mind if I check something real quick?” he playfully asked, scooping his grasp down to curve securely around the plush of your bottom. 
“Not at all,” you smiled before a sharp yelp then suddenly erupted out of you.
Tyler knew he could toss you around like a ragdoll, a skill of his he wasn’t at all shy to lean into, especially now as he yanked you closer, all the way up his frame till he settled you just above his face.
“Tyler!” you laughed, squirming lightly as he pulled you further down against him, letting his nose nuzzle against the sliver of your underwear before he placed a sloppy kiss against them. 
With his wide palms still glued to your butt, a few of his fingers stretched out to catch the hem of your panties and tug them to the side, granting himself the full access he desired. 
As he began to eagerly lap you up, he briefly murmured against you, “yeah, you really are completely soaked,” conjuring a hazy laugh to rip through you as your head tipped back at the pleasure. 
Teasing your little clit till your thighs began to shake on either side of his face, you felt his hands briefly migrate up your back and guide you to collapse entirely above him, bending you forward and letting your forearms land in a soft pile of hay for support. 
His strong arms then scooped back down to your ass, blanketing them around your hips as he brought you even closer to him, evidently not that desperate to let himself breathe any time soon as your all-consuming presence above him was the one and only thing he desired. 
With the way that he devoured you whole, not long passed till you were cumming all over his face, whimpering and trembling against his unyielding efforts. You barely let yourself catch your breath before you crawled back down his form, lazily kissing the taste of you off of his tongue as you worked at freeing his hard cock that strained in his jeans.
Your frame stayed plastered against his own after you sank down upon him, your tits in the soaked shirt smooshing against his chest. With your panties still clinging just off to the side of your cunt, you only let yourself shutter at the stretch a shy second before your trembly thighs raised you back up to find a slow rhythm.
“Fuck…” he groaned, tilting away from the breathless kiss, “ride that cock–, shit, you’re so good,” he nearly hissed at the way you rolled your hips, your silky walls clinging around his girth, “that’s my girl.” 
“Yeah, well I partly blame you for finally explaining to me how exactly it is you ride those crazy bulls,” you spoke about his daring side gig, “how you stay on, tame them.”
“Yeah,” an airy chuckle slipped out of his lungs, “you might just give me a run for my money if I ever get you up on a real one.” 
“I thought that’s what I was doing now,” you smirked down at him as you rocked your hips even further down against his, grinding the length of him dizzyingly deep inside of your pussy. The comment however also earned you a slap across the ass, causing the laugh hiding just behind your lips to finally break free, “hey, I’m not wrong, you are an animal!”
Burying one of his hands into your hair, he uttered against your lips, “well, if I’m an animal, then you’re one too,” nearly growling as he held you close and let himself buck up into you, meeting your slow bouncing halfway, “we’re cut from the same cloth you and me.”
“Yeah,” you moaned, digging your weak hands into his shirt and surely stretching the cotton out, “you and me…”
Tilting your head just far enough back so that he could catch sight of how your eyes began to roll in your skull, he groaned, “fuck, you’re so beautiful… so fucking perfect and warm, tight, fucking squeezing around me so good, and so fucking wet…” a chuckle slipped out of you both at the double entendre, “you messy girl… my messy little fucking girl… you’ll never get to dry off if I have a say in the matter… let you stay just completely soaked for fucking ever and make it so easy for me to just do anything I want…”
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© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 
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hees-mine · 2 months
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SECRET - L. HEESEUNG
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Pairing: heeseung ⚥ reader
Warnings: stepcest, smut, unprotected sex, oral, anal fingering, face sitting, cockwarming, dirty talk, cum eating, multiple orgasms, cursing. Not proofread forgive me.
Genre: 18+, smut, minors do not interact, taboo relationship, stepcest
WC: 4,492k
⟱⟱⟱
“Hey, didn’t expect to see you up this late,” heeseung whispers to you as you enter the kitchen, rubbing the grogginess from your eyes while yawning.
“Couldn’t sleep,” you reply and walk to the fridge, pouring yourself a glass of cold water. “It is really late,” you mutter, taking a sip and staring at the clock aimlessly.
“You’re telling me. The guys wouldn’t let me leave to save my life,” he laughs softly, rummaging around the fridge, but nothing really catches his eyes, so he closes the door.
“Poor you,” you say with a slight giggle that he smiles at.
“Poor you, too.” Stepping away from the fridge, he walks over to you, standing just mere inches away as he scans your face.
“W-what do you mean?” You question confusedly, tilting your head to the side as he closes in on you even more.
“Could’ve been here with you.” resting his palms on your waist, he glides his large, warm hands up and down your sides until his hands slip underneath the hem and he finds your perky braless breasts kneading on them.
You gasp suddenly and pull away from him. “Heeseung, what are you doing?” Your heart was pounding in your chest at this point, and you had no idea what was going on. One minute, you were laughing together, and the next, he was touching you. Not to say you didn’t like it, but this was wrong. He was your stepbrother. He shouldn’t be doing things to you like that.
He rolls his eyes; just the fact it took you that long to react makes it evident to him that you didn’t mind him touching you. “Pfft, come on, y/n, I see the way you look at me, the way you stare at my cock every chance you get” he chuckles and walks closer to you again. “And, of course, you know the way I look at you,” he whispers, hinting at all the times you caught him staring at you inappropriately. He dips his head down and kisses your neck, his hands already sliding up your shirt and pushing it all the way up to your shoulders, revealing your naked chest, and he bites his lip at the sight staring down at you with eyes full of desire.
“We shouldn’t.” You looked up at him, eyes wide and expectant, your words having no real value. You know you should care about what’s happening. You should be concerned with the countless times you eye fucked your stepbrother, but you just didn’t. All you wanted since the day you met was to have his cock buried deep inside you, and even more when you saw his tent in his pajamas for the first time. You’ve never been the same after that, and you’ve been thirsting for his big dick every day.
“Sweetheart, I really don’t care, and I know you don’t either. I can be your secret, and you can be mine.” he cups your breasts, rubbing your cute little hardened nipples with his thumb. “I just need to fuck your pussy, baby. I’m tired of fucking my fist to the thought of you, and we finally have some time alone” he backs you up against the counter, pressing his hard bulge on you, and you moan, finally coming in contact with what you’ve been wanting for months.
“You touch yourself to the thought me?” You couldn’t help but wonder.
“Of course I do.” he rolled his hips against you, groaning at the friction as he did it over and over again. “You do it too, right? Thinking about me and my cock while you get off on those pretty little fingers?” He rests his head on your shoulder, hands slipping from your chest to your waist, holding you still as he ruts into your core, leaving you breathless.
You grip onto his wide shoulders. “So many times,” You bite your lip, tilting your head back to grant him access to kiss your neck. “Had to go to sleep unsatisfied so many nights cause nothing felt as good as I know you would,” you admit.
“Hmm, sorry baby, but I got you tonight, all right? Gonna make this pussy cream till my little stepsister is fucked and satisfied,” he grins as he leans back. “Up,” you followed his instructions, lifting your arms up for him, your flimsy shirt falling to the tiled floor.
He takes off his shirt next to the material pooling on the floor along with yours before he unfastens his belt and opens his jeans as well. He impatiently reaches out to you, bringing you close to his body until his chest is flush against yours; his body shivers when both your bodies meet together. He’s been dying to feel your body like this for what feels like forever. “Mmm,” he presses his fingertips into your waistline, the other hand slinking up to your throat, pressing on the sides gently as he brings you in for a kiss.
You opened up to him right away, letting his tongue inside your mouth and swirling yours around it.
Feeling lightheaded already, you kiss him back, your movements even more rushed and rough than his. Your noses continuously brush against one another as your lips lock in a wet, sloppy kiss.
He pulls away, his mouth parted, and your warm breath fans his face.
You stare up at him, blinking innocently, your eyes already lidded with arousal as your hands find his toned chest, massaging every faint line of muscle.
He watches the way your hands glide on his body, nipples growing stiff as your fingers brush over them. “Yeah,” he whispers in approval, his cock twitching as you lean in, swirling your tongue over his erected bud.
His mouth parts open further as you alternate between nipples while slipping your hand inside his jeans to palm his erection at the same time. “Fuck” he bucks his hips fucking himself on your hand and getting lost in the pleasure even though you two barely even started.
You chuckle deeply, loving how reactive he is to your sensual touches. You suck extra hard on his left nipple, and he moans, his hand going up your back and tangling itself in your hair. “Shit,” he hissed, eyes rolling backward in his head.
Your hand searches for the hole in the front of his boxers, and you find it easily pulling his stiff cock out of the confines of his clothing.
Moaning against his chest, you whine in satisfaction when you feel him skin on skin. He’s hot to the touch, pulsating and leaking precum.
“Oh my god, y/n.” The sudden change in his voice makes you pulsate even harder. You never heard his voice like this before. He sounds so high-pitched and whiny, but he can’t help it. He’s never felt this fucking amazing before. How were you making him go crazy with just sucking his nipples and jerking him off? He must’ve been more desperate than he thought, or maybe you’re just that good.
You move your face from his chest, his eyes fluttering open as you do so. “Please let me suck your dick,” you ask, needing to feel him in your mouth now.
He rubs your scalp with the tips of his fingers. “Of course, baby, get down on your knees and suck on my dick,” he watches as you drop to your knees in front of him. The sight alone makes his cock twitch in anticipation.
Looking up at his hazy eyes, you grip the bottom of his shaft, pumping his size slowly. “Oh fuck” he shuddered, still sensitive from nearly cumming just from your hand a moment ago.
“Mmhmm you like that hee?” He clenches his jaw, breathing through his nose as calmly as he can.
“Yea baby, I do” he releases a deep breath having zero control over his hips as he starts fucking your hand again, looking so desperate for it.
Without any more words, you open up your mouth, lightly suckling on just the tip at first.
The taste of salty precum hits your taste buds, and you can’t help but hum, loving the way his hard, heavy cock feels on your tongue.
Salivating at the first taste, you eagerly swallow down the rest of him, taking the remainder of his thick cock all the way down your tight wet throat.
He lurches forward and quickly grips the counter to stabilize himself. “Y/n fuck” he curses, lip bit tightly between his teeth to keep it down, his face twisted and eyebrows furrowed in pure unadulterated pleasure. “You feel so good on my dick” he balls his hand into a tight fist, overwhelmed by the feeling of your hot mouth sucking him off like your life depends on it.
You gagged spit dripping down his shaft and coating his balls as his tip hit the back of your throat, but that only excited you more as you bob your head faster, your lips tightly secured all the way around his cock as you cup his saliva-covered balls softly stroking them.
“Shit, y/n, fuck fuck fuck I’m g-gonna c-cum” he whimpers in desperation as his release hits him hard. “Let me cum in your mouth, please,” he rushes out, and you nod immediately, waiting to get your throat stuffed with his cum. Not even a second later, he shoots his cum straight down your throat. You feel his heavy balls tighten in your hand, his cock twitching on your bottom lip as he rewards you with his warm cum.
Despite your knees feeling sore from the tile, you suck him completely dry, finishing him off with a quiet pop as you wipe the corners of your lips and swallow every last drop. “Come here.” he takes your hands, helping you stand off the ground. You can barely stand straight before he pulls you into a messy kiss way; you willingly swallow his cum, turning him on all over again, his bare cock brushing against your leg as he backed you up into the fridge door, the coolness of it feeling good in contrast to how hot it has become.
“Heeseung,” you cup his face, kissing him back with equal enthusiasm as he taps your thigh, signaling you to wrap your legs around him.
He pressed his palms into the appliance behind you, letting you hang off him completely. “Fuck baby, you already got me going again” he pulled back from the kiss, and you encircled your arms around his neck.
Grabbing the backs of your thighs, he hoists you in his arms, moving you on top of the kitchen counter with ease. “Lay down for me,” you do as he says, eager to know what he’s got in store for you.
He yanks down his jeans and underwear, leaving himself naked. Once he’s finished, he grabs the waist of your shorts, pulling them down as well with the help of you lifting your hips.
Now you’re bare on the table, your cunt wet and glistening on display like a full-course meal just for him.
Licking his lips, he situated himself between your legs, lifting them up and pressing them to your chest. He didn’t even say anything. He just leaned in, and all you felt was his hot, heavy breath fanning your pussy before a long wet line was licked from your rim to your clenching pussy. “O-oh,” you gasp, your legs trembling from just the first lick.
“Knew you’d taste so good” he closed his eyes, licking another long stripe up your juicy cunt, groaning as the flavor of you spreads on his tastebuds. “Smell so fucking amazing, too” he wasn’t shy to really get in there. His face was flush against your core, his tongue licking up every inch of your engorged vulva.
“Oh fuck yes,” you let your head rest on the counter, taking a deep breath to calm yourself and feel everything he does to you down there.
Without pause, his tongue falls out in one smooth motion as he inserts it inside you fucking it in and out.
You reach out to him, hands running through his silky hair pulling softly at the roots, and you have to restrain yourself from pushing his head down and fucking his face.
His nose runs over clit, and you swear you’ve never felt something so good. Just his tongue inside you felt unreal. You could only imagine how his dick would be.
You’re silently enjoying, for the most part, since your parents are fast asleep upstairs and the fact you were doing everything in your power not to thrust yourself onto his tongue.
Noticing your sudden lack of sounds and words, he switches to something that’d get him a reaction out of you. He pulls his tongue out, a long string of saliva following as he starts sucking on your pulsating clit and kneading your thighs.
He does it for a good minute transitioning between sucks and gentle flicks of his tongue, but he still doesn’t get any excitement out of you.
Was he doing something wrong?
“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking up at you.
“Nothing, what do you mean?” You question in confusion.
“I don’t know, it’s just you’re not- you don’t seem as if you’re as excited as I am about this,” he admits quietly with a soft sigh.
“No,” you’re quick to reassure him. “I am, I really am. You have no idea.”
“Sure? Cause I don’t have to if you don’t want it,” he replied, sounding dejected. He just wanted to return the favor and make you cum too.
“Yes, hee.” You lean up, giving him a kiss and rubbing your fingers through his hair. “I really want this. Don’t want you to ever stop, baby.” you kissed the tip of his nose. “Just don’t want to wake anyone up.”
“Oh yeah,” he chuckles at himself, forgetting for a moment that you both live with your parents, but even still, you were making some sounds before, but now you weren’t. Maybe he was overthinking it, but it’s like he could sense something was wrong.
“Yeah, silly that, and I’m trying my hardest not to ride your face,” you told him shyly, watching as all the apprehension left his face. No wonder it seemed like something was wrong. It’s because you were holding back, and fuck, he’s glad he said something because he wants nothing more than for you to ride his face and fuck yourself on his tongue.
He doesn’t say anything. He simply picks you up and takes you to the couch. He lays flat on it first and searches for your hand, helping you climb on top of him. “Do as you please fuck do anything you want to me.”
You lost it the moment the words left his mouth. If it weren’t for you being so needy, you might have hesitated due to shyness, but you couldn’t. He was far too inviting for you not to just pounce on him.
You immediately lined yourself up with his face sinking down on him and moaning out as you started riding his pretty face.
He gripped your thighs, his tongue coming out as you rotated your hips on his face. “Fuck you’re so good,” you whimper, rubbing your pussy on his soft, warm tongue.
He hums as he slides his hands to your ass cheeks, squeezing and spreading you open, guiding you back and forth on his tongue. “I love the way you taste,” he says almost incoherently with the way his tongue passes through your folds.
You grip the head of the sofa, grinding your hips back and forth. His tongue slips inside your hole, and you arch your back, bouncing lightly as you feel his tongue fucking your swollen pussy.
He tests the waters, running a finger along your rim, and judging by how you let out the loudest moan of the night slip past your pretty lips, he can only surmise that you’re into that.
His index finger circles the tightness of your rim, and when you try and push back on him, he gives you what you want, sinking his finger into your asshole.
So tight and warm he swears he’s in paradise cause everything about you is absolutely perfect.
“Hee,” you whimper as you feel him slip it into you. Your head drops between your shoulders as you ride his tongue and finger. “I’m gonna cum” With a satisfied moan, he doesn’t stop his movements not until you clench around his tongue and spill your arousal all over his awaiting tongue.
A muffled curse leaves his mouth, the vibrations making your orgasm even more intense to the point your trembling legs clamp around his head. “So good” You threw your head back, rubbing your pussy all over him.
As you begin to come down from your high, he purses his lips rubbing them directly on your clit, and this, without a doubt, was by far the best orgasm you’ve ever had.
“Fuck” you whimper, your legs shaking as you feel a gush of wetness seep out of you.
Heeseung swallowed it down in less than a heartbeat, his cock twitching as your taste slithered down his throat. He was so fucking hard and ready for you, his cock lubed up in ridiculous amounts of precum, just waiting to be used in your pussy.
He retracts his finger, your hole clenching around nothing, practically begging him to finger your ass some more.
His hands grip your waist, and he pulls you down on him until you’re face to face, handling you like you weigh nothing. “You liked, huh, baby?” You nodded suddenly, feeling shy, and he couldn’t help but think it was cute how quickly your demeanor changed. “Give your stepbrother a kiss, yeah.” You hit his chest lightly at his teasing, but you kiss him nonetheless, the flavors of both your sexes being exchanged through the kiss as he wraps his arms around you securely, giving you both a minute or two before he’s slipping from under you and standing up. “Look what you do to me.” he looks down, and you clench when you see it. He’s so fucking huge and hard your mouth waters, and you would suck him off again if it wasn’t for your aching pussy begging to be fucked and filled.
“All that for me?” You ask with a smile, reaching out to stroke him a few times.
“Yeah, baby, all that for you,” he says, sensually rubbing your forearm as you stroke him off.
“Mhm then, if it’s all for me, put it inside me.” his expression fills with nothing but raw desire, and he doesn’t wait any longer to get to what you’ve both been waiting months for.
“Shit, turn over for me then” You didn’t need to be told twice, flipping over on the couch and giving him your best arch as you flip your hair to the side, looking behind you as he gets on the sofa.
He rests one leg on the ground, his knee on the couch next to you as he aligns his aching cock to your hole.
“Put it in, hee need you to fuck me so bad” his head feels fuzzy as he presses his tip on your entrance. You and your mouth are going to be the death of him.
“I’m gonna fuck you real good” he pushes it in, neither of you being able to wait any longer.
“Ooh yes,” you hiss at the stretch, your lips pursed in an attempt to suppress your moans.
He places his hand on your hip, one on your shoulder, sliding down the length of your back, softly tracing a line until he meets your right hip gripping onto you tightly as he fucks a few more inches inside you. “That’s it, take it. Look at that wet pussy swallowing up my dick,” he spanks your ass biting on his lip as your sloppy pussy lips hug around his length.
“Yes, hee, take my pussy and fill me up with your dick” You grip the couch, the stretch feeling so slick and hot as he enters you, fully bottoming out in your silky cunt. His tight balls rest on your outer lips, the wetness between your bodies sticking you both together.
He throws his head back, moaning as you take him all inside. It’s so warm and wet he feels like he might faint. You're just too good and tight for him to even think straight.
He’s already covered in sweat, pupils wide with arousal as he pulls back, his tip catching on to your tight opening, and he pushes back in, filling out your pussy again.
One slow stroke, and he thinks he might cum. “Fuck” he whines, his hands gripping your waist so tight they’ll be prints by tomorrow. “You’re really fucking tight y/n”
“Yeah, hee? Does your stepsister's pussy make you feel good” you tease, pushing back on his dick as it fills you to the hilt.
“Y/n,” his mouth parts as he takes a breath. “Fuck yes, it does, makes me feel so fucking good. Oh my god, you’re so wet.”
“Mhm yes hee fuck me fuck me hard wanna feel all of you,” you say, sounding drunk off the feeling of his big cock in you.
He thrust deeply, his pace naturally increasing with a feral need. The loud sound of your ass clapping against his sweaty thighs filled up the living room, and you were both too in the moment to care if either of your parents caught you.
“Ahh fuck yes!” You moan loudly as his tip nudges your cervix.
“Fuck y/n, you feel me deep in your pretty little pussy, mhm, like it being fucked deep and hard, isn’t that right, beautiful” he spanks you again, your perfect ass jiggling from the harsh impact.
You clench from the unexpected slap, your head falling into the cushion, a final attempt to silence yourself. “God, yes!” Your moans are thankfully muffled by the couch, but he can still hear every whimper and moan you let out.
He watches his thick cock fucking your cunt. This angle makes you look so good as you soak his dick, the white ring of arousal around the thick base of his shaft proving just how wet your pussy is getting for him.
He spat his hand in the heat of the moment. He rubs it between your spread ass, his thumb circling it around. “You want it?” He teases just the pad of his thumb.
You pick your head up, your eyes hazy, hair a mess, and when you look back at him, it’s the best image of you so far. “Yes, put your finger in my ass. Hee fuck me like I’m yours,” you say shamelessly, allowing him to do whatever he wants to your body, and you know you’ll love all of it.
“You are mine after tonight. You’re so fucking mine” Your eyes flutter in your head at his sudden possessiveness, and your mouth hangs open in a silent moan as he slips his thumb into you.
Fucking his thumb in and out, he feels you get even tighter. “Since you like my finger in your ass, maybe you’ll like my dick too.”
Just the suggestion is enough to make you go insane. You can’t imagine how good his dick would feel up your ass.
“Huh?” He brushes some hair out of your face so he can see your reaction. “Wouldn’t you, baby, you’d love taking my big dick up your tight little ass,” he talks in a soft voice cooing as your face morphs into one of nothing but pure pleasure.
You pant, your body overwhelmed and covered in sweat as he fucks you harder into the couch. “Yes, so much, hee,” you say, half in, half out of it, your limbs giving into the pleasure that builds inside you.
“Nuh uh baby, keep arching for me.” he pressed down on your lower back, making you arch deeper than you were before, and the way he filled you up left you with no doubt that he was bulging in your lower stomach.
“Hee!” You squeal out, shocked by the pleasurable feeling of him pounding into your cervix relentlessly.
“Take it, that’s it, take it, take it, take it,” he grunts, shoving his thumb deeper inside you, only fitting to have both your holes penetrated as deeply as possible.
“Fuck” you cry out, your body in a position you didn’t even know you could take, and his dick hits places that have never been reached inside you before.
“Keep squeezing on my dick, cum on me, baby. Make a fucking mess,” he encourages you, giving you every last ounce of energy he’s got left to plow into you because he wasn’t letting you go another night without satisfying you with his cock.
His words make you reach your breaking point. “C-cumming” You fall apart on his dick, your body going limp as you succumb to the constant rubbing of his cock against your throbbing walls.
“M-me too,” he stutters. Every muscle in his body tenses with desire and wants as he releases his semen deep inside you. He rides out your highs with gentle strokes, pushing his cum as far inside you as it could possibly go, not letting a single drop slip out.
“Yes cum in me,” you whisper exhaustedly, moaning continuously as his warmth fills you inside out, your spent pussy squelching with every thrust.
He pulls his thumb out of you before you get too overwhelmed with everything he’s done to you.
“Good little stepsister, take all your big brother's cum” he lowers himself on top of you, his dick still buried to the hilt as he keeps himself inside you plugging you up with his cum.
You pant as his hands lay over yours, which were now flat beside your head on the couch.
He gives you little kisses all over your face every now and then, rocking his hips, reminding you that he’s still nestled deep inside your pussy.
You sigh softly, your breath finally returning to normal.
He blindly reaches on the back of the sofa to grab a blanket draped on the back, covering you both up as much as he could. “Tired my baby?” He whispers to you, and you nod in response. “Want me to clean you up and take you to bed? Does that sound good?” He smiles as you hum again. “Okay, sweetheart, let’s just stay here fit a little bit.
You don't protest when he flips you over and lays you on his chest. You feel some of his cum dripping out of you, but neither of you mind, too tired right now to be bothered.
You rest on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. As he strums your back peacefully and he whispers…
“This can be our little secret.”
⟱⟱⟱
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sodaabaa · 4 months
Text
shadows and spirits, part one
azriel x reader reader is azriel's mate but she hasn't accepted the bond yet due to her fear of azriel himself.
tw: slightly nsfw, brief mentions of illyrian misogyny, suggestions of edging and arousal
part two
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Bells rang as the door to the bar opened, signaling the arrival of the day’s first customers – or so Y/N thought. She walked to the bar counter, leaving behind the half opened crates of newly shipped wines and spirits. She’d deal with those later. 
“Y/N! How’s my favorite bartender?” Rhysand, the High Lord of the Night Court walked in with his arms raised and a friendly, welcoming smile on his face. 
She fought the urge to smile at the sight of her friend, “I’m only your favorite because I give you discounts and secrets,” she whispered the last part as he approached.
Y/N ran one of the most popular bars in Velaris, being a favored spot for many because of its proximity to the Sidra River and the spectacular view it offered (and of course, the variety of top-shelf liquor favored by Rhysand himself). Y/N knew everyone and anyone that frequented her bar. She often provided a shoulder to cry on and a few shots of tequila to mend broken hearts. Because of this, she gathered vast amounts of information from the citizens of the beautiful city and when needed, she reported back to Rhys. 
Rhys smiled, leaning his elbows on the counter. She swatted at him with a towel, “I just cleaned that.” Rhys chuckled but didn’t remove himself from the dark wood counter.
She opened her mouth to ask Rhys why he was here when something pricked at the back of her neck. Her eyes darted to the man trailing behind Rhys like a shadow, and then back to the High Lord. She stood a little taller, back straightening as she steeled herself. 
“Here on business, I guess?” She asked him. His smile faded as he nodded. She poured herself and the High Lord a drink to avoid any more eye contact with the man who’d just entered. They clinked their glasses and downed their drinks. With a sigh, Rhys pulled something out of his back pocket.
“Have you seen these men?” He placed a few pictures on the counter and waited for Y/N to recognize them. 
“I may have seen them, they look familiar. I can ask the girls, maybe they’d have more luck identifying them,” she replied. 
Rhys nodded, “Alright, be on the lookout for these guys. They’ve been stirring up some trouble and I’m gonna need to put an end to that before it gets worse.” “Are they Illyrian?” “Unfortunately,” Rhys replied with a sigh.
“I’ll keep an eye out for them,” she gave him a curt nod. 
“Take care, Y/N,” and with that, Rhys turned to leave. Azriel on the other hand, stayed behind. Y/N quickly busied herself with wiping down the counter and tidying up in hopes he’d get the signal and leave.
“You can’t avoid this forever, Y/N,” he finally broke the silence, his voice deep and flat – it rumbled through her, causing the hairs on her arms to raise. 
She threw the towel onto the counter, “Watch me,” she spat back. Big mistake. His hazel eyes darkened, shadows coming to life around him; twisting and flaring with an emotion she couldn’t decipher. He exhaled, silently making his way out the same door he arrived in. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“You could at least try being less hostile towards him, the poor man is in a constant state of sulking these days,” Feyre said as she swirled the glass of ruby-colored wine in her hands.
Y/N rolled her eyes at her friend’s attempt at getting her to talk to Azriel. Feyre frequently visited the bar since it was closeby to her art studio. The two had hit it off quickly, becoming close friends and bonding over art, music, and men. Feyre had found out about Y/N’s mating bond issue and because she was biased (being friends with Azriel), she constantly pestered Y/N about it. 
“Feyre, I already told you. I don’t want anything to do with Illyrians – they’re possessive, violent, and they view women as breeding machines,” she looked at the High Lady, “and I mean this with all due respect to Rhys, I don’t want to be mated to an Illyrian.” 
“He’s really a big softie, I promise. Just get to know him, he has the same complaints about Illyrians as you do!” Of course she would defend him, they’d been close friends ever since Feyre first arrived at the Night Court. But she overlooked the innate instincts of the warrior species. 
Y/N sighed. She tried to repress the memories of her parents – her mother, like Y/N, was mated to an Illyrian. She knew the culture they were raised in, the way they looked down on women, the violence they were accustomed to. To top it all off, Azriel was the Spymaster of the Night Court – the rumors about his cruelty and power were enough to keep Y/N away from him in fear. Luckily, she knew he’d stay away until she accepted the bond.
“I somehow doubt a man who tortures people for a living could be a 'big softie',” she replied with a scoff. 
Feyre sighed, “He doesn’t hurt the innocent – in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him hurt a fly even,” she took Y/N hands in hers, “He’s a good man, Y/N. Give him a chance.” 
Y/N huffed, “I’ll think about it.” 
Feyre squealed, an uncharacteristic sound for a High Lady to make, and pulled Y/N in for a hug. 
“You won’t regret this!” 
I somehow doubt that, she thought to herself.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
As the sun began to set, the bar came alive with people ready to unwind after a long day of work. The air hummed with laughter and conversation, glasses clinking in the air while soft melodies floated about. Y/N looked around the bar for the men Rhys was looking for, taking in the lively atmosphere – a jolt of pride running through her as she surveyed the place she built up from the bottom.
Despite the bustling noise of the bar, she felt that damned prickle on the back of her neck, her eyes catching on the shadows in the corner. He did this every so often – lurked in the corners, watching her. She rolled her eyes, returning to the customers at the counter asking for drinks. 
“Hey sweetie, give us a smile!” One of her unfortunately regular customers called out. He leaned forward, trying to get in Y/N’s way.
“Find someone else to bother tonight, Devon,” she replied, topping his glass with more liquor avoiding eye contact with the sleazy man who constantly vyed for her attention. 
“Oh, but I wanna bother you,” his hand grabbed hers. 
“Devon, I’m really not in the mood for your bullshit tonight, let go,” She said as she tried wriggling her wrist out of his grip. The nuisance of a customer pulled her closer but stopped in his tracks, abruptly letting her hand go and backing away from the bar. He all but scurried away and Y/N sighed. She knew there was only one man who could make people shit their pants in fear like that. 
“You could’ve at least let him pay before he left,” She said without even bothering to turn around as she picked up the abandoned glass of whiskey.
The man behind her dramatically placed a few coins on the counter. She braced herself for the brooding face and shadows as she turned around. She glared up at him, the height difference between them all the more prominent as he stood not even a foot away.
“Stop sending Feyre to do the dirty work of convincing me to accept the bond,” she tried to sound intimidating – or at least serious but she found it difficult when faced with his presence, it consumed all of her confidence and left her feeling small, defenseless against the Spymaster.
“I didn’t send her,” he replied rather monotonous but she could see the tinge of amusement on his face at the sight of her trying to put up a confident front.
“Well if you’re done playing savior, can I get back to work?” 
“Would it kill you to say 'thank you?'” He blocked her from passing by with his aggravatingly large obsidian wings. 
She put her hands on her hips and mustered up all the vitriol she could, “Yes, actually, it would. Now get out of my way before I kick you out.” 
He let out a breathy laugh, a laugh. Y/N, now fuming at the man before her, shoved him in the chest, knowing it wouldn’t amount to much but it helped relieve her annoyance.
This time, he chuckled, a sound that resonated through her, only serving to fuel the fire that was Y/N’s anger. She grabbed one of the soda guns under the counter and aimed it at the nuisance before her. His brows lifted in surprise and he lifted his hands in a mock surrender. Her eyes fell to his scarred hands and her stomach dropped as her hands gripped the soda gun tighter.
“Alright, alright,” he conceded, “I’ll be around.” With that, he returned to the shadows and Y/N let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.
At the end of the night, the final few customers stumbled their way out of the bar and Y/N took a seat at one of the tables, exhausted from the day’s work. She poured herself a drink, relishing in the quiet – though her relief was short lived when she sensed the shadows in the corners. She squinted, grabbing a towel from her apron and threw it at the corner. He caught it, revealing himself from the shadows. 
“If you wanna lurk here after hours, the least you could do is help me clean up.” Amusement once again danced over his dark features. No doubt thinking about all the ways he’d make her pay for her rude behavior. He didn’t say anything as he started wiping down the tables, eyes occasionally finding their way back to Y/N, shadows brushing her skin when she walked past him.
They cleaned in silence, Y/N taking a mop to the floors while Azriel put up the chairs and collected stray items off the tables. Something clicked in her then, she felt almost at ease with his presence. Almost. 
“Do you know what happens when accepting the mating bond is delayed?” He said, breaking the silence.
She looked at him from across the room as he put up the last few chairs.
“What happens?”
His eyes darkened, narrowing at her, “There are reports of males being unable to stop themselves from taking their mate, over and over," he paused, giving her a moment to process, "I like to think I have more restraint than my dimwitted brothers but even I cannot control nature,” his voice was dangerously low as he spoke. It made Y/N stomach flutter in ways she couldn’t contain. Her skin prickled as she took in his words. Her chest rising and falling in an unsteady rhythm, suddenly realizing she was at a crossroads. 
She’d been putting off accepting the bond for years now. They had first met at the grand opening of the bar. Rhys had come to congratulate her and survey the bar and of course, he had brought the inner circle. They became her first customers. A feeling of dread welled in her stomach when she first laid eyes on Azriel and somehow she knew it was him, her mate. She cursed the Cauldron for pairing her with the deadliest Illyrian in Prythian. 
“You won’t be able to delay it forever, Y/N,” he stalked closer to her, massive wings dragging behind him, a predator approaching its prey.
She took a step back, stumbling into the table behind her and she flinched. He smirked at her clumsiness. 
“Eventually, you’ll feel it. The primal, unavoidable need. The raw desire,” he drawled. 
She swallowed, looking up at the man who now stood too close to her for comfort. She leaned back, her weight shifted to her hands gripping the table behind her to put as much distance between them as she could. He only looked down at her, his intense gaze raking over her body, sensing her fear. He leaned down, she could feel his breath tickle her ear as he said, “That’s not fear, Y/N. It’s arousal.” Her breath got caught in her throat at the show of his abilities. He straightened and stepped back, giving her room to breathe. 
“Good night, mate.” 
He disappeared into the night, leaving her dazed and flustered.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Y/N entered the bar, grumbling at Daisy, one of the bartenders, as she passed by the bubbly girl.
“Woah, what’s got you all crabby this morning?” She glared at Daisy, prompting her to find some task to tend to as Y/N slouched on the counter. She couldn’t get a wink of sleep the last few nights. Azriel’s words echoed in her mind, keeping her up.
It’s not fear, it’s arousal. 
After he left the bar that night, she found herself almost constantly in an aggravating state of arousal. Despite this, she couldn’t find any relief no matter what she did. She tried pleasing herself but when all she could think about was Azriel and his dominating presence, she decided to erase the memory of him through a string of one night stands. To her utter dismay, none of it worked. It nearly drove her mad. She hadn’t seen Azriel in the past few weeks since that night and she realized he was giving her space on purpose, to heighten her need to see him again. Asshole, she thought.
She poured herself a drink, hoping it’d dull the throbbing in her head (and in other places she deigned to acknowledge). 
“Day drinking? Is there something bothering you, Y/N?” 
Great. As if the day couldn’t get any better.
The velvety, deep voice rang through her, causing damned butterflies in her stomach. He stood before her, dressed in his fighting leathers, blue siphons pulsing with power. He gave her a knowing smirk.
“I can’t deal with this today,” she said as she walked off.
“You could give in, you know. It would provide you with the much needed relief you’re so desperately trying to seek,” he taunted.
“No thanks, there’s bound to be some half witted man that can satisfy me plenty,” she shot back.
The shadows around him flared, reaching out towards her but not quite touching her. Azriel’s eyes were dark. Maybe it was stupid of Y/N to taunt him, dangerous even, but she'd spent the last few days in sleepless agony because of him. He could suck it.
“Aw, is the big bad Spymaster jealous?” She teased.
“Don’t play games with me, Y/N.” She walked back over to him, lifting her chin in defiance. 
“Or what? We both know you won’t touch me until I accept the bond.” 
He smirked, “You will accept the bond. And when you do, you are going to be at my mercy. Begging for relief,” he gripped her chin with a hand, sending a chill down her spine, “And I’ll take that as an opportunity to remind you of your obstinance.” 
“I bet you’re just as pent up as I am. It gives me peace knowing you can only find relief with me. Maybe it’ll give me the strength I need to continue denying you.” 
He let out a breathy laugh, “I have centuries of experience on you, little girl.” 
Her stomach dropped at the degrading title. The reminder of his age dawned on her. He fought in the first war against Hybern, Y/N hadn’t even been born then. She was a mere century and half to his five centuries. 
“Cat’s got your tongue?” He taunted with a smile.
She shoved him off in a sudden movement. Grateful to be away from him. 
“Fine, I’ll give you some room to breathe. Cauldron knows you’ll be needing it.” 
He left as fast as he had appeared, once again leaving Y/N off-centered for the rest of the day. What have I gotten myself into?
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indecisivemuch · 18 days
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hii first of all luv the username cause as a libra rising, samedt ;-; i'd like to make a request for a luke x f!reader fic pls!! um, so they're best friends, and luke decides to confess to r by giving her gifts, letters, trinkets, etc. with hints about his identity, but she doesn't know who they're from. so she asks for luke's help to find out about the identity of her secret admirer. but what if there's like a mistaken identity and she thinks it's someone from the hermes cabin (maybe chris? or one of the stoll brothers idk) and luke's just all pouty but nonchalant or something, but deep down he's like 'how do i even make her see' or something (while also second guessing that maybe he shouldn't confess it's him) like fluff with tiny angst :>
Message in a Bottle
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x Reader
Summary: You got a secret admirer and recruited Luke to help you find out who they are...ignoring the most obvious option (Fluff, angst, best friends to lovers, happy ending)
Note: I'm so sorry for the six month hiatus. It wasn't by choice, I swear 😭. So many bad things kept happening that prevented me from writing (is this the writers curse people kept talking about?). Also, the request wanted only a sprinkle of angst, but I kinda got out of hand with it I think 😭 (sorry).
Word count: 4.4k (whoops)
You’ve always thought that too much of something is bad. Yet, ever since the day your life intertwined with Luke Castellan’s, you weren’t very sure about that anymore. 
The two of you arrived at camp around the same time, entering a friendship that felt like hitting the jackpot. Your early days together were something that you both treasured dearly. Every time you thought a certain time period would someday be reminisced as the golden days of your friendships, new things would come, and top it off. 
However, golden skies were soon evaded by clouds of pink hues. You found yourself noticing and appreciating small details you haven’t noticed before about your best friend. Initially, you acknowledged the growing feeling but decided that they better remain as footnotes in chapters of your life. However, fate’s design was different to your plans, because two years later, here you were: you looked at him almost in the same way a fool would look at the world with rose-colored glasses (but then again, maybe it was because you have learned to embrace and adore his flaws).
“Luke!”
The Hermes cabin counselor snapped his head towards the sound of your voice, eyes straying from his duty of the hour. A smile began forming on his face as you came to view, almost like he has always been programmed to do so. There was a certain spring in your steps. Moments like these made Luke feel like he was a minimalist because your happiness was somehow enough to guarantee his own. 
You situated yourself next to Luke on the ground, not minding the dirt.
“Hey now, I’m meant to be watching these kids train, don’t come over and distract me,” the Hermes cabin counselor warned, though he didn’t move his eyes away from you. He simply couldn’t.
Everything about you served as a distraction to him. From the soft smirk gracing your lips to the innocent tilting of your head. Every little detail about you was captivating and was equally capable of drawing his attention away from wherever it was meant to be. 
In fact, his attention issue around you was getting rather shameless because his friends have begun picking up on it and started teasing him for it. Personally, Luke doesn’t think it was his fault. His eyes just happen to draw to you in every room like second nature, while his mind short-circuited every time you were near. 
Maybe, and just maybe being rational and able to function properly has stopped being his forte…at least whenever you were around.
Your eyes moved to the group of kids that were only going to be at camp for the summer. From the looks of it, Luke has just assigned them to practice sword fighting in pairs. You then glanced back at your best friend, discreetly drinking in the sight of him. 
No doubt he did his fair share of demonstration before letting these kids go off on their own, because right now, his face was slightly flushed, veins evident on his forearm while the familiar orange shirt clung onto his body with glistening sweat.
You shook away the non-platonic thoughts and teased him, “Oh, come on, you wouldn’t pass up on talking to me. You adore me too much.” 
Damn right, he does. Luke could feel his cheeks heat up again.
“Fine. What are you here for, firecracker?”
“I got another gift,” you informed, presenting the bracelet in your hand. 
For the past month, you have been receiving small letters and gifts. This time it was a handmade bracelet with beads of your favorite colors, as well as charms that represented some of your hobbies and favorite things. It was clear that your anonymous admirer had put a lot of thought into such a small item. However, as always, there were no identities attached to it, leaving you clueless about the person behind these gestures.
Luke took your hand in his, eying the accessory that perfectly fitted your wrist. He started toying with the beads around your wrist that were shining in your favorite color.
The boy’s gaze flicked from the object to you, catching your soft and warm look. Gods, if you kept looking at him like that, he might just actually stop thinking logically. He could practically feel a confession lingering behind his lips, threatening to spew the second his ropes of restraint died.
“Anyway, I came here with an idea,” you broke the silence. “What if I try to find out who this person is? I mean, some of these gifts are quite specific. They seem to know my favorite color, flowers, and things I like. Surely, it wouldn’t be that hard to narrow it down and figure it out?”
Something shifted in your best friend’s behavior and you could feel it. There was a slight flustering look on Luke’s face as he avoided eye contact with you. It was rather strange to see the Hermes cabin counselor so fidgety. Luke has always been confident and composed, and you’d often be the one to humble down his playful cocky remarks. Half-way through looking at his behavior, you began speaking:
“You…”
Luke could feel the blood draining from his face at your facial expression, his face paling despite how flushed he was seconds ago from demonstrating sword fighting. The boy tried to regain his composure, though his attempt at seeming nonchalant failed as you touched his arm. Did you—
“You can be my inside man, talk to these guys to see if they’d slip up or something like that.” 
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Luke hastily replied, clearing his throat.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did that come across as a suggestion? I hate to break it to you but being best friends means you sorta have to participate in my schemes,” your lips curled as Luke grunted at your words. 
“Yeah, but—”
“Luke, please…it’ll be fun,” he almost scoffed at your words and unconvincing argument. Clearly, the two of you had different definitions of fun. Just as he opened his mouth to reject your idea again, his eyes caught yours. You were looking at him in such an eager and heart-warming gaze that it made him forget what he was intending to say.
Ah, there was no denying anymore. Being rational and able to function properly has truly stopped being his forte.
“Fine,” Luke uttered, the word pricking his tongue as regret started kicking in as he accepted being your accomplice. This decision could only come back to bite him in the ass. He watched as you quickly celebrated his lack of restraint.
“Ah, you gave in quite quickly,” you jabbed.
“Shut up.”
Oh, you were going to be the death of him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Two days have passed since you got Luke to agree to help you find your secret admirer. Though, the boy must say, the last forty eight hours have been slightly comedic for him, watching you trying to track down your secret admirer…
While the real sender of those gifts was right beside you, nodding along to your every word. 
Luke’s mind trailed to the origin of this “secret admirer” idea. He started it as a way to abate the urge of straight-up blurting out how love-struck he was with his own best friend, while also testing out the waters before finally confessing his feelings for you. 
Though it was slightly amusing how the idea led him to where he was right at that moment. The Hermes cabin counselor zoned out as he pretended to speak to another boy you thought was behind those sweet gifts and letters. 
Luke used to have those feelings under rein, but self-repression only caused it to grow exponentially. Initially, the Hermes cabin counselor dismissed those beyond friendly thoughts, thinking they would eventually fizzle away. However, against his predictions, this fondness towards you became a sort of companion to him for three long years. 
Not only that, years of excessively burying these feelings six feet underground also came back to bite him in the ass because instead of having his feelings under control, they now have the upper hand. 
Sometimes he felt like a puppet, while his feelings plucked the strings. His facial expressions were forever cursed to be sculpted in raw yearning whenever around you, having no choice over how he reacts to everything related to you.
But it didn’t matter, because he was going to finally confess soon.
Luke almost burst out laughing at the way you were standing in anticipation, waiting for his intel on the most recent candidate. It was entertaining, to say the least, pretending to engage in investigative conversation before heading back to you, shaking his head in feigned disappointment. 
However, it didn’t take long before the Hermes cabin counselor started feeling sour.
Just as he made it back to your side, he watched as you started talking again, already discussing the next guy you thought might have done these things that Luke himself came up with. He eyed your in sync footsteps with a heavy heart. Despite the matching movement, he somehow still felt eternally behind. Luke was so close, yet so far away, and never quite able to grasp onto your ever moving attention. 
Did you not consider him as an option at all? Did you truly not see him as anything other than a good friend? It started stinging him knowing you were considering all these other guys as potential candidates — the faces that now haunt him in his sleep, poisoning his mind with an acidic jealousy that was eating away his common senses and fueling immoral thoughts. 
Soon enough, that same jealousy seared his mind with this overwhelming self-doubt. Luke’s foot started feeling cold at the thought of confessing. Gods, he never thought the same security behind anonymity would now make him feel desperate to be seen by you. 
“Maybe I should give up,” you concluded, mindlessly staring ahead. Your attention elsewhere gave Clarisse and Chris an opportunity to send each other knowing looks. The two have been watching you run around in circles on a goose hunt, not knowing to look right behind at the sulking figure that was trailing after you. 
Your distracted state also meant you didn’t notice the moping human situated beside you. However, hearing your declaration of ending your chase, Luke saw a window of opportunity. Maybe now was finally the time to be truthful. After all, if he doesn’t tell you, then how will you know and see him? Luke’s momentary motivation carried him through waves of dejection.
“Y/N, I need to tell you something,” Luke blurted out without much more thought or preparation, and his tone made you fully turn to him. Just as words finally formed and the boy opened his mouth to tell you—
“Hey Y/N, can I talk to you privately?” Somebody interrupted. Your eyes didn’t leave Luke immediately, but when you saw your best friend’s momentum had faltered, you turned to the stranger. It was another Hermes boy, somebody who you’ve seen around. You politely agreed and left with him. 
“So, I heard you’ve been looking for the person who’s been giving you anonymous gifts. And well, it’s your lucky day, 'cause…” the boy stared you up and down while you subconsciously took a small step back when he leaned forward. “...I’ve decided to come forward and reveal myself.”
“Okay…well, prove it” you squinted. Though your skepticism didn’t make the Hermes boy in front of you falter. Clearly, he expected this.
“The first thing you were given was a note, and…the two most recent gifts were a cassette tape and a bracelet — which was made from beads of your favorite color and charms like…” you zoned out as the boy started listing out some of your favorite activities that were indeed the charms on your bracelet. You fiddled with the bracelet that you had purposefully hidden out of his view right behind your back.
There was a pinch in your heart that signaled the last bit of hope dying. 
Oh…so Luke really wasn’t your secret admirer.
You internally scoffed at yourself. You should have known right after he said yes to helping you out with finding your secret admirer — which was originally an idea used as bait to determine if Luke was the sender or not, because if it was really him then he wouldn’t have agreed to help you out with this. However, not only did your best friend agree without much convincing from you, but he had seemed so nonchalant and unaffected as you named all these boys you wanted him to talk to. 
Perhaps this secret admirer thing was something good. Somebody has shown interest and their actions have been nothing but sweet. Those letters contained words that were eternally bound to your memories, even altering the way you view yourself for the better. Maybe you could get to know this person and move on from hopelessly crushing on your best friend.  
Halfway through, you realize you were so engulfed in your thoughts that you have zoned out to half of the things the Hermes boy was saying, and merely caught onto the last bit of his speech:
“...thinking maybe we could go on a date and get to know each other more tonight?”
Your stomach churned again, yet you nodded your head.
Move on. Move on. Move on. Move on. 
Your friends gave you questioning looks when you got back to where they were, clearly curious about what you were pulled away for.
“So…that was my secret admirer, and I’m going on a date with him tonight,” you hoped you sounded more enthusiastic than you were feeling. You tried convincing yourself at least it was good knowing definitely how your best friend actually felt about you. Quickly sitting down, you kept your eyes on Clarisse, knowing if you even looked over at Luke, he’d be able to tell straight away that something was wrong.
Your lack of focus also meant you didn’t think much of the quiet murmur from your best friend: “Sorry, I just remember I need to do something.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You looked at yourself in the mirror one last time. It was now the afternoon and you just finished getting ready for your date. As you were leaving, you spotted a note at the foot of your cabin. Seeing your name written on the paper, you picked it up while eying it peculiarly.
“You could be the one that I love, 
I could be the one that you dream of,
Message in a bottle is all I can do, 
Standing here hoping it gets to you.”
Your gut feeling stirred, hitting you with waves of higher certainty over suspicions you have previously had and denied.
Those lyrics were directly associated with a memory from summer two years ago. 
Luke and you were sitting by the campfire when he asked what your favorite song was. You told him the name and mentioned you hadn’t listened to it in a while because using technology devices with signals were dangerous for Demigods. The conversation slipped your mind but clearly loitered in your best friend’s mind, because two months later while on your way back to camp from your quest together, he gifted you a tape player along with a cassette of said song along with others that you liked.
You blinked away the image of you leaning on Luke’s shoulder while the two of you listened to the song together on the train back to camp.
You re-read the note again while shaking your head. Perhaps it was a coincidence. Perhaps, that Hermes boy knew the song and it was also one of his favorites. Perhaps—
Your hand started trembling around the paper. Your eyes landed on one small detail in the note: a particular handwriting choice. The rest of it matched with previous notes, but there was one singular scribbling feature you’ve never seen used before. 
Everything came crashing down and your internal eternal cycle of excuses and denial shattered.
You ran. It didn’t matter that it was raining and your attire was getting soaked. It didn’t matter at all because you were frustrated and confused. In other instances, you would have been elated at the possibility of mutual affection, but in that moment, exasperation blinded you from sensibility. 
If what you have concluded was true, then why on Earth would he allow you to go on a date with a person who stole credit for things they didn’t do? This whole time, he made you feel like a fool — for waiting that long and having hope after all that time; for asking the person you were looking for to hunt them down with you; for sulking despite having what you thought was a good opportunity to come along; for borderline going on a date with an imposter; and for not seeing it all along that it was him. 
“It’s you, isn’t it?” you called out.
Despite the rain, you could see your best friend’s figure stiffened before turning around to face you. The boy stood with his hands behind his back, not yet daring to look at you. 
“The “th”. You connected the cross in the ‘t’ directly to the ‘h’,” you presented the note in your hand, pointing specifically at the slip up that Luke had made in the latest note, not caring of the raindrops that were hitting the paper. “It’s how I write it, and you started writing it the same way a year after we got to know each other because you liked the way it looked,” you pressed further.
The expression on Luke’s face painted your theory into the truth of the situation. You felt your hand slightly shaking at the revelation.
“Why? You left anonymous gifts and notes and watched me put on this hunt — which by the way, was for you. And didn’t even say anything when a guy lied and said he was my secret admirer? Is this one big cruel prank?”
“No—”
“Oh! Well then, surely at one point in this whole thing, you felt like you should just tell me?” 
“I was going to.”
“Then where were you when I was just about to head out with that fraud? Maybe if you really liked me and really cared for me, like all those damn notes say, you would have fought for m—”
“I did,” Luke finally raised his voice, his face briefly hardened in an attempt to convey his desperation. His chest heaved, and the way it did almost made you think the anger radiating off every inch of his skin right then was directed towards you. But it wasn’t, and he knew you knew. 
“I confronted him right after he claimed that he was the one who gave you all those things.” 
Invisible ivies rooted your foot to the ground. You gulped, trying to digest the information you were given. However, it finally sunk in when Luke’s hands appeared from behind his back. It was then that you could see the bandage wrapped around his knuckles. Your breath hiccuped in both flattery and worry at the implication of what he had done. The darkness behind those deep hazel-brown orbs reflected a certain side of your best friend that you hadn’t seen before. Although, part of you felt like you wouldn’t mind it.
It made Luke’s blood boil knowing what he dedicated to you from the bottom of his heart was spoiled by ill intentions. Luke should have known better than to carelessly write all the letters and craft those gifts right on his bunk bed, rather than discreetly. 
Once again, the Hermes cabin counselor was pulled back to memories from an hour ago. The way the other boy shot remarks at Luke’s lack of precautions, boasting his wrong-doings like someone incapable of having a guilty conscience. Luke's jaw tightened as the image of the sly smirk on the other Hermes boy's face flashed in his mind, but a wave of satisfaction ran through him as he recalled how quickly that smirk was wiped away by his own fist.
They might be brothers by a fraction, but blood or not, that boy was dead to Luke the second he tried tricking you.
“And no, I wouldn’t have let you go out with a fraudster. Never,” Luke’s eyes softened. “And in case it’s not implied enough: I like you…a lot. I was going to confess but then this guy came along lying,” Luke could feel that tremor returning once more to his fist. He hated that something he built, from scratch, on the foundation of sincerity was momentarily tainted by the hands of a spineless liar. Not only that, he hated witnessing somebody so dear to him getting deceived in such a tasteless manner.
“I also…didn’t want to get hurt. It was starting to seem like you would ever consider me as more than just a friend with the way you were listing out all these other guys. So for a bit there I was considering just keeping quiet…forever” he confessed, eyes now straying away from you and down to his shoes.
You observed your best friend through a new perspective. So your initial suspicions were true. You had thought it was him because all the things you have received hinted to somebody who knew you so well, and who else at camp but Luke knew this many things about you. But ultimately, another part of you — the proclaimed “logical” side — has hyper-analyzed every split second you two have shared and deemed that Luke has not given any true signs of interest in you beyond as a friend. Thus, you dismissed the thought of Luke being your secret admirer.
You know now to trust your gut feelings more.
“Oh, Luke Castellan, you dumb ass…” you spoke softly underneath your breath, but you knew he heard you perfectly clearly from the way he slightly peered up. Your heart almost shattered at the dejected look on your best friend’s face and the thought of him burying his feelings eternally. You sure as hell would not allow that to be this timeline.
“I’ve liked you ever since the day you went out of your way and gave me that first cassette tape,” the marveled look on Luke’s face over your confession made you continue, “I guess I should have known it was you…cause gift giving has always been your love language.” It seemed like the boy was too stunned and struck frozen. However, his shell-shock state didn’t last long, because soon, your best friend’s gaze reverted back to the way he has always looked at you, only slightly more intense.
Your eyes fluttered at the sight of Luke Castellan in front of you at that moment. You were finally able to see the effect you’ve always had on him. The way his lips hung slightly agape, eyes dilated in such a way you were no longer able to see their usual color anymore, chest slightly heaving despite lack of physical reasons for such a reaction. You almost wanted to hit yourself for being such a fool and not spotting these details sooner. 
“Now, Castellan…you have two options,” you stepped closer to him, leaving an appropriate amount of personal space in between. “You either kiss me or—”
Luke grabbed your wrist with his uninjured hand and pulled you in. The same hand-guided your arms around his neck while also effectively eliminating the remaining distance between you two. 
Without hesitation, he kissed you.
Likewise, you returned the action without a second thought. You frankly didn’t care about the rain that was soaking the both of you. Kissing Luke felt like such a natural act that it felt simply like diving home. The way he held you made you feel like you were a national treasure he was so afraid of losing. Gods, you don’t think you mind doing this ever so often.
Though, there was a certain urgency in the way Luke kissed you, as if afraid you’d either vanish or you’d change your mind. You pressed your lips harder against his, hoping he’d understand you didn’t intend on leaving or having a change of heart.
A grunt escaped his throat as you kissed him harder. Oh, Luke Castellan already knew he was in immense trouble. He knew almost immediately that the concerning number of thoughts he had about you each day would only increase tenfold from this day on. He wondered if you could taste all of his unspoken words. If kissing you felt like this, he might as well sign away his heart, body, and mind to you. In fact, he’d sign anything you put in front of him without even considering the fine prints. 
Luke slowly backed you against a tree, giving you a bit of support to lean against whilst shielding the both of you from the heavy rain. He smiled into the kiss as you hummed at his action, feeling it echo against his lips. His heart tugged, almost leaping out of his chest when your hands made their way to both sides of his face, cupping it intently like holding something yours. Yours. Fuck, he loved the sound of that. 
You were the first to break the kiss. The both of you gasped for air while maintaining eye contact. The close-up view of his intense gaze drove your cheeks rosy. You could not help but admire the way his locks of wet curly hair clung onto his forehead, while raindrops fell from his face, some following the length of his eyelashes before falling — Oh, the way he glanced down at your lips at that second made you feel almost like you had the power to convince him into anything at the moment. 
“You’re my best friend…” he broke the silence.
“Mhm.”
“...but what if I want you to be more than that?”
“I can be both,” Luke’s lips broke out into a smile, and you mirrored his facial expression. He leaned his forehead against yours whilst softly rubbing his thumb soothingly against your waist.
“I’m not against that.” 
As a larger grin broke out on your lips, Luke’s eyes further softened. He realized right there and then that anything you wanted, he would not be against it. A breath of relief quietly escaped beneath Luke’s breath. He could not wait for whatever was in store for the both of you in the future.
Good thing his messages in a bottle did get to you.
-------------------------
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sanemistar · 2 months
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ᡣ𐭩 misunderstanding — sanemi shinazugawa
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ᡣ𐭩 pairing: sanemi x fem!reader ᡣ𐭩 genre: angst to fluff ᡣ𐭩 wc: 2.7k ᡣ𐭩 warnings: sanemi might be a bit ooc at some points oops, usage of nicknames (princess), slight swearing, not proof-read divider by @cafekitsune
ᡣ𐭩 synopsis: sanemi accidentally walks in on you talking to giyuu and heard you say ‘i love you’ to him, but instantly runs away before knowing your true intentions.
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to everyone around you, it was no secret that you were head over heels for none other than sanemi shinazugawa, the wind pillar, everyone but the wind pillar himself. you stuck to him like glue, spending time with him more than any other hashira. you definitely played favorites and never tried to hide that your favorite out of everyone was sanemi.
and it was the same for him, you were the only one whom he never dared to raise his voice against nor looked so angrily at, his soft voice and gentle gaze were only exclusive to you.
he felt so relaxed and at peace around you in a way like never before. to him, no one else mattered but you. you were just exceptional in his eyes, your delicacy when sparing, your cheerful and bright personality that shone as bright as the sun, lighting up his dull world, your infinite kindness towards everyone around you (especially to his little brother) these were all some of the many, many things he really admired about you.
one day after a long hashira training session sanemi went to relax and cool off somewhere when he saw you there, standing next to the water hashira talking about something that seemed to be happy, judging from your sweet smile that made his heart race awfully fast. he was dying to know what made you so happy to the point where a faint blush was making its way onto your beautiful soft cheeks, his curiosity grew and eventually got the best of him as he decided to step closer while being cautious in order not to get caught eavesdropping, so he successfully hid himself behind a big tree and closely watched the two of you in anticipation with one thought on his mind, he must’ve lost his mind. but he couldn’t help it, he was so damn crazy about you.
however, at that exact moment he instantly regretted his decision to step closer. the moment where he felt his world fell apart and crumbled right in front of his eyes. he should’ve just let you two be, he shouldn’t have indulged into this matter any further, he should’ve quietly walked away. but it was a little too late to do so.
hearing you blurt out ‘i love you’—the sweetest three words anyone could ever hear in their lifetime, to none other than his rival, his nemesis out of all the people he could think of was something sanemi could never prepare himself for even if he wanted to.
he stormed out as quick as the wind before hearing any more love whispers come out of your sweet lips, which caused a big misunderstanding on his part. but little did he know what your true intentions were.
sanemi didn’t know that you were just practicing your confession to him in front of giyuu, asking him for help and advice because you wanted to make sure you gave him the most perfect confession. although that ended up not being so helpful because giyuu wasn’t really that experienced to begin with so he didn’t add anything new, he just gave his approval.
and for the following weeks after, sanemi was avoiding you like his life depended on it. he tried his best to be around you like normal but he failed. he couldn’t handle acting as if he didn’t hear you declaring your love for another man, even though being this far away from you hurt him more than anything else in the world, he couldn’t ignore his feelings for you that were so heartbreakingly overflowing and pretend to see you as nothing more than a friend.
you noticed his obvious distance from you, which was a foreign feeling to you. he no longer asked for you to spar with him like the two of you normally would, you no longer share meals with him either. the two of you barely shared any missions together to your misfortune. the time you spent with sanemi would gradually become less and less until it was close to none, as you two would only briefly meet during hashira meetings. every time you would approach him to ask if anything wrong happened he’d push you away and leave you behind, as if he was starting to build a wall between the two of you.
and it absolutely broke your heart to see things between you and him become like this, you were almost back to being strangers who knew nothing of each other. but you would never allow that to happen, even if he hated you for trying to break the boundaries he put. you wanted to fight for your love and happiness so you could never afford to give up on sanemi anytime soon.
fortunately one day, you were assigned by kagaya-sama to go on quite a long mission with sanemi for the first time in weeks, and you couldn't be any happier. after all, you finally got a chance to spend some alone time with him and you were more determined than ever to take advantage of the chance given and settle this whole thing by then.
despite looking forward to your upcoming journey, you were so awfully nervous to be alone with sanemi after being apart from him all that time. many negative thoughts immediately started racing inside your head, did you upset him? what if hated you, what if he no longer saw any value in being your friend and didn't want to be around you anymore? you felt like you might go insane from being overwhelmed as your heart felt too tight and it became too hard to breathe.
"ya done packin'?" you could hear his low voice coming from behind you as you turned around to face him. eyes meeting for the first time in a while, his lilac eyes looked duller and his face looked very emotionless to the point where you could almost never recognize him. this wasn't the sanemi you knew and fell in love with, you were sure something happened that you weren't aware of.
"yup, all done. let's get going." you get no reaction from him. instead, you watch him leave first as he walked in front of you, letting you get a look of his broad back that blocked almost everything from your sight and forcing you to solely focus on him and him only until you caught up with him and you were walking side by side with him.
the walk to your destination was awfully painful, filled with long extended moments of awkward silence and thick layers of nervousness and anxiety, which you absolutely despised. you wished for the ground to open up and swallow you whole without leaving a single trace of you behind.
you felt your heart pounding like crazy and your mind spiraling as you were dying to know what was on sanemi's mind and what was he feeling at that exact moment. you felt yourself jolting immediately when the back of your hand accidentally brushed against his as your cheeks were now tinted in red. but it went unnoticed since it was too dark to see anything.
finally after hours of walking you reach your destination, and you were instantly met with the sight of a demon almost swallowing a young terrified woman alive. you shifted your entire focus on the scene happening in front of you, with your utmost priority being the safety of the woman and slaying that demon, which was unfortunately an upper moon.
neither you nor sanemi needed to exchange any words, as both of you read each other's minds. you immediately jump right in front of that demon and swiftly snatch the woman away, leading her away from the fight scene and after making sure she ran away somewhere safe you ran to where sanemi was to assist him in killing the demon.
it was such an intense fight, as expected, defeating an upper moon was never anything easy no matter how experienced you were. you huffed as you tried to catch your breath while letting sanemi handle things before resuming your fight.
things were going well and you almost cut his head when he suddenly disappeared from your sight before you could even notice. you fret for a split second and before you or sanemi got any chance to react and dodge that hit, the demon fiercely hit you behind your back and strongly knocked you down.
sanemi panicked upon seeing you take the fall but he couldn't rush to your side even if he desperately wanted to, he had to take care of that demon first. filled with rage as a result, he violently cut the demon's head and immediately ran to where you laid, sweat intensely forming on his face, his vision was getting blurry as hot fresh tears ran down his scarred cheeks while holding your body delicately in his arms.
"fuck! no, no, no, please y/n, please stay with me!" you could faintly hear him plead with a distressed expression written all over his face. you hopelessly try to extend your arms and your hand comes in contact with his rough skin, causing him to get all tensed up.
"sa..nemi." you had barely managed to say his name before you lost consciousness and he felt very shaken. it was your first time calling him by his first time, but he didn't have the time to get excited about that. he hurriedly carried you in his arms and ran towards the butterfly mansion, not even waiting for the kakushi to come and help aid you.
you were so badly injured that you went into a coma, and throughout that whole time sanemi never left your side, only leaving you when he used to the bathroom and during his short hours of sleep. how could he sleep peacefully at night when he wasn't sure if you were going to ever wake up again or not.
one night giyuu rushed to visit you after he found out what happened to you while he was on a mission, and he was met with sanemi sitting next to you who had awful dark circles under his eyes due to lack of sleep and a pale complexion from skipping meals. he quietly sat next to him, layers upon layers of heavy silence filled the atmosphere before giyuu decided to speak up, breaking the awkwardness that was all over the room.
"how is she?" he began asking frantically. it was new for giyuu to show any expression, he was known for being calm and composed at all times. so this was a bit out of character for him, to which sanemi felt his heart clench. obviously he'd be worried about you, you were his lover after all.
"she will wake up soon. she's so strong. you should have more faith in y/n, yeah? i mean, she's your girl." sanemi speaks firmly as he was about to leave the room, when he was stopped by giyuu's surprised expression.
"what are you even talking about, shinazugawa?" sanemi felt absolutely enraged as his veins popped off. was he really playing dumb just now?
"are you fuckin' kidding me, tomioka? don't you dare play dumb straight to my face! i heard y/n confessing to you the other day." sanemi finally snapped, after holding it in for so long for your sake. he didn't want to lash out on you because he was afraid that you would hate him for it.
at that particular moment, giyuu remembered that you once told him that you were concerned about sanemi's sudden distance but back then both of you failed at coming to a conclusion for his behavior. so it took giyuu a brief moment to connect the dots together and finally solved the mystery.
"calm down, shinazugawa. you're misunderstanding something here. let's talk outside, i'll explain everything." giyuu calmly instructed sanemi outside and he followed.
a misunderstanding? what was there to misunderstand? that word kept lingering in the back of sanemi's mind until they went outside your room.
giyuu sighed deeply as he started explaining the events of that day to sanemi.
"back then those words of affection that she said weren't meant for me. she was actually practicing how to confess her feelings for you with me since she was too nervous about it."
sanemi froze in his place upon hearing giyuu's announcement, his mind trying hard to process what he was told earlier. you? in love with him? he couldn't believe it. you were the exact opposite from him, you were the definition of perfection, while he was the definition of imperfection. he felt so undeserving of your love, so the thought of you having such feelings for him never really crossed his mind. he simply never dared to ask for anything like that because he all this time he thought he was way out of your league.
"i can't believe you were the only one who never noticed y/n's feelings when they were so obvious." that was the only time when sanemi couldn't talk back to giyuu. words were stuck in his throat, suffocating him harshly. was he really the only oblivious one?
and then waves of regret mercilessly hit him like a truck, he started regretting every single moment he pushed you away whenever you tried to strike a conversation with him. he felt himself slowly drown in despair when he was cut off by giyuu's pat on his stiff shoulder.
"you better clear this up with y/n once she recovers. don't waste any more chances." and that was sanemi's wake up call. he tightly held your hand that night, with teary eyes and a heavy heart. sanemi was praying to God that you wake up safely so he could give you the proper apology you deserve and ask for your forgiveness.
fast forward to a month later and you finally had woken up from your deep sleep. the moment you opened your eyes you felt sanemi's strong arms tightly wrapped around your body, and you let yourself melt into his touch.
he broke the hug and tears fell from his red eyes onto his scarred cheeks, and you had no idea how painful it was to see him cry for the first time. it never occurred to you that he could be this vulnerable.
"i'm sorry, i'm so fucking sorry for everything, y/n. i should've noticed your feelings earlier, i should've acted quicker. but i was a fucking fool thinking that my love for you was one-sided... i love you, y/n. very desperately at that."
this time, it was time for you to cry, in an incredible moment of relief and sweetness. for the first time in your life, you experienced tears of joy. you never knew that your heart could feel so light even though your tears were overflowing.
sanemi extended his hand and caressed your hot cheek, wiping away your tears gently. his gaze locked solely on you as if you were the only person in his world.
"i love you too, sanemi."
the mood felt too right at this very particular moment so without much thinking, you leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. causing the two of you to blush like crazy.
sanemi always imagined the feeling of your soft lips against his, but he could swear on his life that experiencing it actually happening felt much better than he could've ever imagined, despite it being quite short.
"since you didn't let me surprise you with my confession, i stole your lips in return." you never knew that you could be this smooth with your words, probably because you were acting in the heat of the moment. he smiled at your playful words as he found your behavior so incredibly adorable.
"so will you give me the honor of being your boyfriend, my princess?"
"of course, my beloved idiotic prince." you happily announced as he embraced you in his arms once again as you buried your face on the side of his neck.
and at that moment he made a promise to himself that he would never let go of you until his very last day.
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starlightandsouls · 4 months
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Yours To Have, Yours to Break
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Summary: What if instead of Nesta, Cassian found out about Azriel and his secret lover. What will happen when the hearty general, in his anger of being left out, causes his brother's happiness to fall apart? How will he atone for his mistake?
A/N: Of course I had to make my comeback with the angstiest angst to ever angst. And that too by turning my fluffiest fic into pure pain. I guess you can say that this this is a spin off of Yours to Keep and Cherish. Also... I know I dropped off the face of the earth but life happens guys. I'm sorta back and here's a fic to make up for it.
Disclaimer: If you're an Elain fan, I would recommend you not read this. I would hate to ruin your day. I do not hate Elain. This is just an idea I got from all the soap dramas I've been seeing recently. Don't kill me please.
Also this shit and not edited. But I was so desperate to post something that I honestly don't care. Hope y'all like it. And yes there will be a part 2
Cassian POV:
As the General of the Night Court’s armies, Cassian had many duties: training soldiers, commandeering battalions at the borders, coming up with war strategies, buying romance novels for his mate and her friends. He wasn’t sure when the last one made its way on his list of responsibilities, or who put it there, but there it was. And who was Cassian to deny his mate?
So that’s how the Lord of Bloodshed found himself standing aimlessly in the middle of the Rainbow, scratching his head, with a list in his hand. Nesta had sent him off to find the newest edition of a Sellyn Drake novel but he hadn’t the slightest idea where to find it. His mate had instructed him to visit a particular bookshop named “The Quill”, being sure that they would have the newest book. Unfortunately, because luck had named him its nemesis at birth, the bookshop was closed for the day. He had asked around and apparently the owner had just left an hour prior to his arrival. Of course, they had.
That is why he had been wandering around the Rainbow, walking into one bookshop after the other, but somehow not one of them had the book Nes wanted. What are the odds of that? How is it possible that only one bookshop in the entire city had this specific book? And why did it have to be closed today? Cassian knew returning empty handed would not only incur the wrath of his beloved mate, but also her Valkyrie sisters. And given the fact that he himself had been teaching them some new disarming techniques, he had no desire to become their training dummy.
While he did not intend on stopping his hunt, he was quite parched. As the summer season approached, afternoons in Velaris became increasingly sweltering. A chilled glass of wine would do just the trick to cool him down, and also relax his nerves. Just as he was deciding on which bar to stop at, he remembered a conversation he had had with Mor the other day. She had told him about a café she had discovered that served the best margaritas during lunch time. Honestly, she hadn’t stopped raving about it for almost a week. What the hell. He was already out in town, might as well try a new place. If it turned out to be good, he could bring Nesta to placate her in case he couldn’t find her book.
Mind made up, he took off to the air, the subtle breeze as he did so, instantly making him feel better. Gliding through the clouds, the twists and turns with wind, were always a guaranteed way of cooling down.
Said café was perched on a hill overlooking the Sidra. He took in the view and the lush gardens outside the café as he landed, and started to walk in. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior; the décor a blend of elegance and coziness. Oh yeah, he was definitely bringing Nesta here for a date.
He had just given his order to a waitress who looked way too giddy writing it down. Thank the Mother Nesta wasn’t here. Or someone might as well have lost a hand.
Although this is one of the reasons why he didn’t like coming to restaurants and bars alone. Not having company meant he didn’t have anyone to share his stories and jokes with. So, as he waited for his order to arrive, he sat back and took in the people around him; a habit that looked casual enough but was one instilled in him during his years training in the Illyrian camps.
He had been admiring the view from the balcony in the corner when his order arrived. Smiling a thank you, he took a sip from his margarita and damn was it good as Mor had said. He made a silent note to himself to thank her for the recommendation. He was in the middle of another deliciously cold sip, when something caught his eye in the corner of the room, causing him to choke.
What. The. Fuck.
Cassian was sure he looked like a blubbering fish with how his jaw dropped open and his eyes bulged out their sockets. He had to be dreaming or hallucinating from the heat. Yes, that must have been it, the heat had surely gotten to his head. For Cassian could think of no other explanation for the sight in front of him.
His brother, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court, torture extraordinaire, was sitting hand in hand with a beautiful young woman, smiling like a love-sick fool and… eating macarons? Since when did Azriel like deserts? Or the more pressing question: who the hell was he sitting with? Cassian knew his brother liked to keep his lovers secret, but deep down his gut told him this was no mere fling, or one-night stand. For starters, Azriel was smiling like a puppy drunk on love, while bringing the lady’s hand up to his lips to kiss. Cauldron. Just as Cassian had somewhat stopped gawking like a fish out of water, he saw the lady lean over and whisper something across the table, causing Azriel to throw his head back and let out a hearty laugh.
Although he couldn’t explain why, but at that moment Cassian felt a sharp hurt go through him. For he could not remember the last time Azriel had laughed like that with them. Damn it, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen Azriel nearly as much as was doing now at any family function.
Before he could even begin to process what had unfolded before him, he saw Azriel pay the bill for their food and the couple walked out hand in hand. Immediately Cassian was on his feet, ready to follow them. If someone had asked him why he did what he did at a later moment, he would not have been able to explain himself. At that moment, Cassian was driven only by curiosity and a minor note of hurt too-why had his brother hid this from them?
Rushing out after paying the bill, Cassian saw the happy couple walk down the cobblestone path, once again arm in arm, with the woman leaning against Azriel. Another thing that shocked Cassian: how the hell had Azriel not noticed him by now? Those pesky little shadows normally informed his brother of every detail of his surroundings; Azriel’s own heightened senses and observational skills were what made him the Spymaster of this court. So, for him to not notice Cassian so obviously trailing behind them at a distance, was a testament to how captivated his brother was by the woman on his arm.
At one-point Cassian thought that his brother would winnow with his partner and he would lose them, but the couple continued their stroll without a care in the world. He continued to trail behind them while also maintaining somewhat of a distance. Azriel may not be as hyper vigilant as always, but he wasn’t blind by any means- and Cassian was no small man either.
“Breakfast was delightful, darling. We should plan another afternoon here, what do you think?” he heard the woman comment.
“Of course, but I am oh so very tired. I think I need a few days alone at home with my nightingale to recharge,” Azriel replied with a smirk.
Cassian balked on the inside: okay Mr. I Don’t Need To Resort To Poetry.
“We could always have breakfast here again on Saturday. It is our two-year anniversary, and I intend on spending the day however my nightingale wishes. I think the café can be a brilliant start to our day,” Azriel offered, laughing as the woman swatted his arm at the previous comment.
Reaching the end of the path, Azriel grabbed the woman in his arms and winnowed away, leaving behind a thoroughly perplexed Cassian.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Cassian was convinced he must have stood there for another half an hour before coming to his senses. He then took off to the House of Wind, ready to face his mate and the Valkyries’ collective wrath. And his assumption had been right; the three women had blown up when they saw him return empty handed and had proceeded to go on twenty-minute-long rant. For the life of him, Cassian could not have repeated a single word they had said. Because he had not listened to a single word, at least not while paying attention. As their rage had quelled, Cassian had simple gotten up and walked to his room, ignoring the questioning looks from his mate.
While Nesta was still in the library with the girls, Cassian had retreated to bed. And that is where he was now: sitting in bed, staring at a wall, completely at a loss for words. He could not even begin to process what he had seen, let alone understand what he was feeling. For some reason he could not get over how openly Azriel had laughed with that woman, how alight his eyes had seemed. It was as if the Shadowsinger was glowing with happiness, as paradoxical as that sounds.
And it’s not like Cassian wasn’t happy for his brother-quite the contrary. He was just hurt that Azriel had chosen to hide something like this from him for two years. Two years. The words clanged around his head like the sharp tolling of a bell. Azriel had this from them for two goddamn years. And he had a sinking feeling that if he had not discovered the two of them today, he would not have found out for quite some more time.
But why? Keeping casual flings a secret was no big deal. They all had had ventures they didn’t tell anyone, he was sure of it. But if the couple were celebrating their two-year anniversary, then it must be serious. Cassian could tell his brother was committed just by how he had been looking at the woman. And if Azriel truly was serious about this woman, why would he hide it from them? His family?
That is the part that pierced his heart. Up until this day, Cassian had thought the two of them to be rather close. Sure, Rhys and Az clashed from time to time because of their own attitudes, but he liked to think that Azriel and him had always been close. Azriel was his best friend for Cauldron sake. Whenever he had had issues with Nesta at the beginning of their relationship-and he had plenty- Azriel had been his confidante, the one he went to for advice. His brother had been there for him at the highs and lows of his journey with Nesta.
So why hadn’t he let Cassian do that for him? Why had his brother chosen secrecy when he could have confided in Cassian? It’s not like he wouldn’t have supported them. He knew his brother was secretive and shy, but it was one thing to hide things about his work and another to choose to hide such a major part of his life from his brothers.
They were brothers, they were supposed to support each other, to stand by one another, not keep secrets and tell lies. All of a sudden Cassian saw the past two years in a different light. He recalled all the times Azriel had shown up to breakfast with an unusually cheery mood, all the times he had been rushing to leave family dinner, all the times he had skipped their get togethers with the strangest excuses. How long had this been going on? And for how long had they been so painfully oblivious?
Did Azriel not trust them? No, that can’t be it. Did Azriel think he could not open up to them? Each explanation he came up with seemed less plausible than the last. As he continued to spiral, Cassian began to question whether the two were as close as he thought them to be.
Why. Why. Why.
“You know if you stare at the wall any longer, you’re going to burn a hole into it.”
Nesta. He hadn’t even noticed when she had come into the room, and judging by her amused look, Cassian assumed she had been there for some time. Pushing off the wall she had been leaning against, Nesta walked over and sat by him on their bed.
“I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes, where’s your mind at?” Nesta asked while pushing some stray strands of hair behind his ear.
Shit. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just tell Nesta something he himself wasn’t supposed to know. If he hadn’t walked into that café by chance, Cassian would have been none the wiser about this whole situation. For whatever reason Azriel was keeping his relationship secret, he didn’t think it his place to reveal it.
“It’s nothing, Nes. Just thinking about Wind Haven. I’m supposed to head up there next week and I already know Devlon’s going to be a pain in the ass,” Cassian tried to divert.
“Since when have you started getting so worked up over Devlon? He’s going to whine and throw a fit, but ultimately he is going to have to do what you say. You’re worried about something else. What is it?” his ingenious mate inquired. How her intuition was so good he’d never know, honestly sometimes he thought of handing over the mantle of General to her, with how good she was.
“C’mon. You know you can tell me whatever is bothering you,” Nesta pushed while grabbing his hand in her own and damn did he melt at that.
“Alright. If I tell you, you cannot tell anyone else.”
Nesta sat up straighter at that, ears perked with curiosity, eyes wide open and eager.
“I won’t tell anyone,” Nesta answered while nodding.
“I’m serious about this Nes. You can’t tell anyone, not even Emerie or Gwyn. No one,” Cassian reiterated, trying to get his mate to understand how serious it was.
“Alright, alright. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”
Cassian sighed before revealing what was very much not his secret to reveal,
“Azriel has a girlfriend.”
“Wait-what?”
“Az has a girlfriend,” Cassian repeated.
“No, I heard you the first time. But…how…when??? Why hasn’t he told anyone?”
“I have no idea, Nes,” Cassian replied while falling back against the headboard. He once again took to staring at the wall; confusion and hurt running rampant through him again, echoing the same question again and again.
Why had Azriel kept this a secret from them? From him?
“When did he tell you?” his mate inquired.
“He didn’t,” Cassian chuckled, “I stopped at that new café by the Sidra to get some drinks to cool down while I was out for your books. I saw them together there.”
A beat of silence passed between them before Nesta barged on with her questions,
“You seem…upset about all this?”
“I am. Not at the fact that he has a girlfriend, Cauldron no. It’s about time the idiot found someone. It’s just…why didn’t he tell us? Why keep it a secret?”
“Maybe…it’s new? You know Az. Maybe he just wants some time to figure things out himself before he tells you all,” Nesta reasoned.
Cassian let out a bitter laugh before spitting out,
“It is very much not new. The two were planning their two year anniversary at the same restaurant this weekend. Two goddamn years, Nes. He’s been lying to us for that long.”
He wrenched his hand from hers at that. Cassian knew he was being unfair and unreasonable, but he was angry. Maybe he had no right to be but one does not think clearly when in the clutches of fury.
As his previous confusion and hurt settled, they left behind only anger in their wake. That is what he felt right now. Anger. At Azriel, for lying to them all this time, for hiding something so significant. Did he not consider them brothers?
Before he could succumb to the ravages of anger, his darling mate was there to pull him back, as she always did.
“I can feel all that you know. Don’t let your anger override what you know to be true. This relationship of Azriel…it has nothing to do with us. We’re not entitled to anything regarding it just because we’re his family.”
“Oh so what I’m just supposed to ignore the fact that he’s been lying to us about his whereabouts and plans for the past two years, when he could have just told us?”
“No I am asking you to trust Azriel. You know your brother, Cass, probably more than anyone else. You know that he has a reason for everything he does and you know that he would never do anything to hurt his family intentionally. If nothing else, trust in that.”
Cassian sighed a defeated sigh. His mate was right, as she always was. For whatever reason Azriel had decided to keep this relationship a secret, Cassian would have to trust in it. And when the time came, he hoped his brother would feel comfortable revealing the truth himself.
……………………………………..................................................
Little did Cassian know, that despite the fact that he had made Nesta swear not to tell Azriel’s secret, he had unintentionally revealed it to a third. For outside their bedroom clutching books she had meant to return, stood Elain. Elain, who had almost torn the books with how hard she was clutching them. Elain, who’s hands quivered with rage.
This is why Azriel had been ignoring her. All these months she had been trying to get his attention and he had always slipped away. Because of this?? Some common girlfriend?
No matter. Elain would get him back. How could he ignore her for some commoner? Who deserved his love more than her?
As she walked away, already planning her schemes, a wicked thought went through her mind, a precaution in case she couldn’t convince Azriel:
If I can’t have him, no one can.
...............................................................................................
Azriel POV:
The past few days had been the happiest he had ever been. Although Azriel wasn’t quite sure how fair that judgement was. Each hour he spent with his nightingale, he deemed his happiest. And it has been two years of such blissful happiness. Two years together at each other’s side that they were celebrating today.
He had already arrived at the same café they had breakfast a few days ago and was now anxiously awaiting his beloved girlfriend. Honestly, he would have preferred that the two arrive together, not wanting to spend a minute away from his nightingale. But alas, not everything had to be as he wished. As soon as she had woken up, his nightingale had slipped out from his arms (something he had still not forgiven) and had rushed to her book shop. According to her, she had some urgent delivery that she just had to be there for. Therefore she had promised him that she would meet him directly at the café.
That left him, sitting in their favorite spot in the café, with his head swiveling to the door every time it opened, hoping his nightingale had arrived. It wasn’t like she was late, it’s just that he too early, wanting what he hoped would be a great start to a celebration filled day.
“Oh, Azriel!”
He heard his name be called, but his heart instantly dropped, that voice did not belong to his nightingale. Turning around he saw…
“Elain? What are you doing here?”
“What a coincidence, Az! I was just out for some errands and thought I would get myself a drink. I’m absolutely parched! Thank the Cauldron for this lovely café!” Elain replied in an unusually high pitched voice.
“Yes, how lovely…” he trailed off, gaze flicking to the door. He knew his girlfriend would be arriving soon and he would much rather Elain not be here for that… for a plethora of reasons.
“Well, what are the chances of meeting you here Az? And look, you’re alone too! Why don’t we have lunch together, it feels like we haven’t caught up in forever.”
“Actually I’m meeting some…”
He never got to finish his sentence. If someone asked him later what happened, Azriel wasn’t sure he would be able to explain it. One second Elain was smiling at him, trying to grab his hand, the next her gaze turned cold, flicking to something behind him. The next thing he knew, within a matter of seconds, Elain had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and smashed her lips to his.
What. The. Fuck.
Azriel didn’t even process what had happened, didn’t even realize that she was kissing him. Elain. Was. Kissing. Him.
The last thought jolted him out of his state of shock and he pushed her away. Not caring for who saw or heard, he yelled,
“What the fuck Elain? You can’t just grab people like that! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Oh c’mon Az. It was barely a peck. I had barely begun to enjoy it,” Elain replied with a callous smirk.
All of a sudden he did not recognize her; he didn’t recognize the cruelty in her eyes, the indifference in her expression. Where was the kind hearted woman he considered a friend? And who was standing in front of him in her place? When he didn’t say anything, still riddled with shock, Elain continued,
“Well no matter. It may have been short but it achieved it’s purpose,” Elain replied slyly. She inched closer and grazed her hand up his arm and whispered, “if you want to continue, I would gladly indulge you, Azriel.”
He didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with her, why she was doing this, in a crowded café no less. But Azriel was way too uncomfortable to try to find out. He wrenched his arm away from her and was about to give her a piece of his mind when he saw it again: Elain’s gaze flickering to something behind him with a wicked smirk on her face. One of victory.
Hoping against hope it wasn’t what he feared it was, Azriel turned around. And it was like time itself had stopped. For there, at the entrance of the café, with tears streaming down her face, stood his girlfriend, his nightingale. A millennia could pass and Azriel would not forget the raw pain, the betrayal shining in her eyes amidst the tears.
No. No. No. No. No. This is not happening. This cannot be happening.
He took one step toward her, to explain, to make her understand he had no fault in what she had seen. But before he could, his nightingale turned around and left the café.
Not knowing what to do, Azriel followed after her to see her almost running away from him.
“Love! Please! Listen to me, its not what it looks like,” Azriel begged, anguish lacing every word.
“Oh please Azriel. Do you know how typical you sound right now?” He did, Cauldron he did. But she had to understand…
“Darling I would never hurt you like that. I don’t even know why she was there… or how… but you have to understand… she kissed me! I pulled away… I would never do that to you,” Azriel let out. He knew his fragmented thoughts probably didn’t make much sense. But panic and fear were making it difficult to come up with something cohesive.
“Really, Azriel? You don’t know what she was doing there?! For Cauldron sake, Azriel! I know you called her there. You know, if you wanted to break up with me, you should have done it yourself like a man. You didn’t have to use her for it!” his nightingale spat at him.
What? Break up with her? Break up with the one blessing the Mother had bestowed upon him? What the hell was she talking about?
“Love… I don’t…”
“You don’t what? Huh? Have any need for me anymore? Well you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way, please go enjoy your life with your darling Elain?” His girlfriend yelled, throwing out Elain’s name like it was poison.
Vaguely he sensed Elain coming up behind them. How did she catch up with them? His love spat out a wry laugh, before saying,
“Look, she’s here to get you Azriel. Go be with your love.”
Before he could refute it, Elain jumped in,
“Its okay, Azriel. I told her everything. She’s not in the way anymore. We can be together now!”
“Elain, have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this? You-”
“Cut the act Azriel. Go. Enjoy your life.”
And with that his nightingale walked away for good, taking the shattered pieces of his heart and soul with her.
… … … … … … … … … … … …
Azriel stood in that spot like a blubbering fish for Cauldron knows how long. He was smarter than this. He was quicker than this. He knew that. But for some reason his mind felt addled, like it was submerged in some murky fog. He couldn’t think straight for some reason.
What the fuck had just happened? Did it truly happen? No, it had to be a nightmare. It had to be. He didn’t just lose the love of his life. He didn’t. He wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Azriel had almost convinced himself of his own delusion, when Elain’s rustling snapped him out of his daze. The woman had the gall to walk away after everything she just did. Not so fast. He grabbed her by the arm and yelled in her face, propriety and etiquette long forgotten,
“WHAT THE FUCK ELAIN? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?”
She wrenched her arm back and held her head up high when responding, as if she just had just committed some honorable deed,
“I did what I had to. You were never there Azriel. I always tried to talk to you… but you were never there. And to find out that it’s because of her! Some commoner! I couldn’t bear it. But she’s not here anymore, Azriel, we can be together!”
“What?! Are you hearing yourself Elain? I do no love you! Not like that, I never have-”
“BUT I LOVE YOU! WHY ISN’TTHAT ENOUGH!” Elain screamed back.
“You’re out of your mind. You… how did you even find out?”
“Cassian told me,” Elain replied calmly, her demeanor immediately changing. There was something seriously wrong with her.
But her words were what caused his world to stop spinning.
“What?”
“Cassian told me. He saw the two of you together the other day and told me that I would find you here today as well.”
His mind was reeling. Cassian knew too? How? He had been so careful with everything? How had it slipped past him so easily?
Elain patted his shoulder one last time before saying,
“We’re meant to be together, Azriel. I love you so much that I’ll ignore this commoner you were sullying yourself with. She might have left you. But I’m always here for you with open arms.”
And then Elain left, simply and quietly. As if she had not sentenced Azriel to a life without the one happiness he had salvaged for himself in this cruel world.
..........................................................................................
Cassian POV:
Cassian had been sharpening his blades in the training arena, waiting for the Valkyries to arrive, when he felt the wards shift. Someone had winnowed in. Before he could question who it was, he saw Azriel standing at the entrance.
Despite Nesta’s words, his immediate reaction at seeing his brother was one of annoyance. He doubted Azriel was here to confess so the continuing secrecy bothered him even now.
Any rant or anger that Cassian was planning on letting out, disappeared as he neared his brother. Azriel had tears streaming freely down his face, shoulders shaking from the sobs.
“How could you?”
Was all his brother let out. Cassian was at a complete loss for words. His brave stoic brother was falling apart before him and Cassian knew neither cause nor cure. His lion hearted brother who had bared five centuries of pain and trials and had never let out even a wince. And now… It seemed like something was tearing Azriel apart into shreds.
“Az, what’s wrong? I-
“How could you?” Azriel repeated, his sobs getting more and more violent. And each falling tear fell like acid on Cassian’s heart. All previous annoyance was replaced by an overwhelming urge to soothe and comfort.
“How could you? What did I ever do to you?” Azriel cried out again.
“Az… brother… I have no idea…”
“Oh don’t act stupid. Don’t act like you don’t know about my girlfriend!”
Oh. That is what this was about? Azriel knew that he knew? But why was he so upset about it? Cassian didn’t think him finding out warranted such a reaction-
“You knew and you send Elain there to ruin everything!”
What? Elain? What did she have anything to do with this?
“You ruined everything! My nightingale… she’s gone… she won’t even talk to me… She won’t look at me… And it’s all your fault!” Azriel let out in between hiccups of tears.
Cassian knew he had to intervene before Azriel spiraled into a full panic attack.
“Brother, calm down. Alright, yes I saw the two of you at the café, but I only told Nesta, I swear on it. I have no idea what you’re talking about, or what Elain has to do with anything.”
Azriel moved further away from him. The utter betrayal shining in his eyes made Cassian want to bury himself in the darkest corner of the world. He did not know what his fault was but he was ready to spend eternity atoning for it if it meant Azriel would no longer be in the pain he was so clearly in.
“DO NOT LIE TO ME!” Azriel roared, leaving Cassian stunned, “ You did this! You couldn’t bear it, could you? You couldn’t stand the fact that I was happy so you sent Elain to ruin everything. You always do this, you always have to take everything away from me!”
Before Cassian could ask for an explanation or beg for forgiveness for a crime he did not know, Azriel had winnowed away.
Alone, his mind was working on overdrive. What did Elain have to do with anything? Cassian was no fool. He had long been aware of the youngest Archeron sister’s affections for his brother. But he also knew his brother had never reciprocated those affections, had always seen Elain as nothing more than a friend.
How did she know about Azriel’s relationship? Nesta could not have told her. Despite how close the two sisters were, his mate had sworn to him and he knew Nesta enough to know that she did not go back on an oath. Had Elain somehow overheard them? And if she had, what could she possibly have done to cause Azriel so much pain?
So many questions were whirring through his head, not one of them had a coherent answer. But amidst the chaos, a singular thought rang the loudest, and it was one that pierced Cassian’s heart:
What have I done?
648 notes · View notes
incendiobrock · 6 months
Text
Complicated {Matt Sturniolo}
Warnings: angsty, language, not proofread oops
Pairing(s): fem!reader x matt, bsf fem!reader x chris
Summary: Matt and y/n have a strange relationship with one another. They are basically together although it isn't official. When Matt goes out on a date with another girl, Chris has to be there for y/n.
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Whenever anybody asks you about your relationship with Matt Sturniolo your brain automatically answers with, “It’s complicated”… Out loud however you’ll state that you’re just super close friends. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want more than friendship, but Matt was confusing… There was no label assigned to the two of you and you couldn’t stand it.
You kept your mouth shut about your feelings in order to make sure you wouldn’t lose him. If you had to be his best friend in order to keep him in your life then you would do it.
The triplets were people that came into your life at the perfect time and took you under their wing. Chris and Nick were like the brothers you had never had, but you never told them about your feelings for Matt either. It wasn’t out of fear of judgment or anything of the sort, Nick just can’t be trusted with a secret and Chris most likely knew without the inside scoop.
Sometimes you wished that had developed your crush for Chris instead. He was super nice to you and you got along with him just as well as you did with Matt but the only thing it was missing was that spark.
You felt that spark with Matt constantly. When he would look at you, when he would unconsciously place his hands on you, even when he would simply speak to you.
That being said, you unofficially lived at their place despite having an apartment twenty minutes away. You wanted to be around 24/7 and at this point you practically were. Crashing on their couch only lasted for about a month until you began to sleep in bed with Matt. He had initiated it, coming out to the living room one night and taking your hand into his.
“Come on, I know you don’t sleep well out here.” He whispered. Removing your pillow from the couch you followed hand in hand to his room.
The door shut and a soft glow from his computer screen lit up the room. You sent him a soft smile, appreciating the invite to sleep on a real bed. As you two went to sleep that night you felt his arm wrap around your torso, pulling your back into him as he made you the little spoon, “Goodnight y/n”. His quiet voice filled the room, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck.
From then on out you would be in his bed every night, tangled in the sheets. You would wake up next to each other just the same. He would always wake up before you and if he needed to leave he would let you know so you wouldn’t wake up to an empty bed. This morning however, it was different.
The alarm you had set for noon began to go off and you groggily flung your arm out to the table to grab your phone and shut it off. When you flipped over to the other side of the bed you were met with an empty space where Matt’s body should’ve been. Your eyebrows furrowed as you lifted yourself up, glancing around the room and still not seeing him. His shirt that you wore hung to your mid thigh as you walked out of the bedroom, rounding the corner to the kitchen, still no Matt in sight.
“Good morning!” Chris called from the couch, glancing over his shoulder to greet you. You stood dumbfounded in your place, this was strange.
“Chris, have you seen Matt at all this morning? He wasn’t in the bedroom and I-“ A door behind you opened up causing you to turn around. Matt exited the bathroom with damp curly hair and a nice outfit on. He came over to you wrapping an arm around your shoulders and causing you both to look over at Chris, “How do I look?” He asked his sibling, running his free hand through his locks.
“Looking good Matt.” Chris responds, throwing a thumbs up in the air. You glanced at Matt taking in his appearance. His cologne filled your nose as well as a hint of mint from the gum he had in his mouth. A smirk played on his face as he received Chris’ compliment.
“I didn’t realize you guys were filming today, I thought it was Wednesday?” You lightly laughed, Matt still being glued to your side as his arm continued to drape over your shoulders. He playfully furrowed his brows letting his mouth part slightly, “We aren’t filming silly, I’m going on a date.”
The smile you had quickly faded to confusion, a date? Before you could even process anything else Matt’s arm was removing itself from your shoulders as he walked into the bedroom to grab his car keys. “See you guys later!” Matt shouted, rushing down the stairs and out the front door. Tears pricked in your eyes as the realization began to set in… Matt is going on a date with another girl. Chris walked towards the kitchen going to grab a pepsi out of the fridge when he noticed you were still standing there. “Hey, you alright?” He questioned, examining your face as you were sure he noticed the gloss in your eyes. You half heartedly nodded your head telling him you were fine, “I’m gonna go lay in bed I think.” You whispered, your voice cracking as you disappeared into the room that you shared with Matt.
As you lay in the sheets you couldn’t help but feel disgusting and guilty. As you lay in bed (his bed) crying about the boy you were secretly in love with, he was off on a date. It made it that much worse that the bed wasn’t even yours to begin with. The pit in your stomach ached as the pillow became sprinkled with tears. All the sweet nothings and simple touches you shared together meant nothing. You weren’t anything to Matt besides a close friend. Hours passed and the sadness you felt only got worse as the time went by. Matt had been gone for longer than you would’ve thought.
A faint knock on the door snapped you out of your thoughts of despair, “Are you okay in there? You haven’t come out of the room since Matt left.” Chris stated through the wooden door. You didn’t reply, maybe he would think you were sleeping and would leave you alone. The door cracked open as Chris peered in, spotting you in a fetal position in the middle of the bed. “Wanna talk about it?” His voice filled the room again, sitting himself down at the edge of the bed. You shifted uncomfortably as you tugged on the covers, trying to hide from all of your problems.
After a few moments of silence you decided to speak up, “Did you know?”
“Did I know what? That he was going on a date? I mean yeah he kinda mentioned it to me yesterday but I guess I didn’t really think about whether that meant he was going with you or not-“ He rambled, wishing that he had told you about it last night when you both sat in the living room watching Nick play Fortnite. You let out a sigh, squeezing your eyes closed tightly.
“I don’t get it Chris… We spend every single night together in this bed and yet I feel like i’m insane for liking him more than a friend.” Chris listened patiently, placing a comforting hand onto your shoulder. “He clearly doesn’t feel any ways towards me or else this wouldn’t have happened. I don’t even know what to say.” You finished.
“Nah, come on, don’t say that… Matt loves you he is constantly talking about you and he wants to spend every minute of everyday with you-“
“Then why is he out with some other girl right now?” Anger poured out of you, projecting your rage onto him even though none of this was his fault. “I’m sorry Chris, I-I didn’t mean to snap at you… This is just so frustrating.” Tears began to burn into your eyes again as you started to rethink about Matt. Chris laid next to you, wrapping you into a comforting hug. His best friend was hurting because of his brother and it broke his heart. You cursed to yourself as you buried your face into Chris’ chest, you were absolutely pathetic.
“I’m so sorry Matt did this to you.” Chris whispered, running his hand over the back of your head and smoothing down your hair.
“What the fuck are you guys doing?” A voice said as the bedroom door opened yet again. You lifted your head from Chris’ chest to see Matt stood in the doorway. “Matt-“ Your voice squeaked out, looking into his narrowed eyes.
“Are you and Chris cuddling in MY bed?” He asked, emphasizing the word ‘my’ and filling it with venom.
“Look dude, she was upset because you left her here so I was just being a good friend!" Chris shot back, removing himself from the bed and holding his hands up in surrender. The tension in the room was thick to a point where it was hard to breathe. The glare that Matt was shooting at his brother was deadly and you were shocked that Chris was still alive and well.
You were out of the bed now, walking past Chris and straight towards Matt. Matt had his arms crossed over his chest, refusing to make eye contact with you as he continued to shoot daggers towards Chris. "Can we talk about this, please..." You begged. His eyes remained forward as Chris spoke up yet again, “Maybe if you weren’t off with some other girl you would know how the girl that’s been in our lives for years feels about you! You’re a selfish piece of shit Matt…” He finished, shoving past Matt and leaving you two alone in the doorway.
“What’s he talking about?” Matt asked, finally his blue eyes meeting yours that were now wide from Chris’ spilling of your secrets. His gaze felt way more intimidating than it had even felt before. You couldn’t tell if he was angry that he had seen you cuddled up with his brother, even if it was platonic, or if he was mad that you hadn’t replied to his question yet. Your fingers trembled as you looked down nervously playing with them. “I-I can explain Matt… Please just- don’t be mad at me.” Your voice barely came out as more than a whisper.
Matt placed his hand over yours, stopping you from twiddling with them, instantly sending relief through your whole body. How could a simple touch from him put you at ease? His gaze had softened and you knew he was silently urging you to continue. “I have feelings for you, and I’ve had them for a while and I tried to stop them because I didn’t want to scare you off… Hearing you say that you were going on a date today almost destroyed me.” Everything was fully laid out on the table now, he finally knew what you had been hiding.
“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, breaking what felt like never ending silence. Sorry? Was that all he had to say back?
“No, I’m sorry. I should just go-“ You began to walk past him, making your way towards the hallway when you felt his hand come in contact with you once again. “Wait-“ He said, pulling you back by the arm and causing you to look at him once again. His other hand cupped your cheek as he pulled you in for a kiss, sending shocks through your whole body.
You kissed him back after a second, realizing this wasn’t a dream. You melted into each other in ways that you would’ve never imagined. His lips were so soft and everything about this felt so right. The kiss lasted for at least ten seconds before he pulled away, leaving you both breathless.
“The only reason I went on that date was because I was sure you weren’t interested in me as anything more than a friend.” He admitted, His hand still cupping your face as his eyes searched yours.
You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, “Well you were wrong, and I’m still upset about the date, but just shut up and kiss me again. I’ve waited too long for this.” Without hesitation his lips were attached to yours once again. He knew he would have to apologize to you for going out with someone, and he definitely needed to make amends with Chris, but right now he just wanted to keep his lips on yours. So that’s what he did.
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sea-lanterns · 1 year
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SAW
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synopsis: (slasher! AU) as a devoted follower, you would do anything to please your master.
featuring: arlecchino (columbina mentioned at the end)
rating: 18+ smut (men and minors dni)
warnings: sub! afab fem reader, mentions of death, death traps, brief mentions of child traffi.cking, sadism, master x follower dynamic, praise, pet names (she calls you doll, babydoll, etc.) mockery, lap se.x, thigh riding, strap on, biting, hickies, rough se.x, spa.nking, manhandling, mentions of th.ree.some, implied th.ree.some at the end.
art credits: junji ito's "house of marionettes"
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Fastening on the metal bear trap onto an unconscious victim’s head, you hummed an eerie tune to yourself knowing your beloved master was watching you from above. It didn’t matter that you were currently sitting in a padlocked room with a man about to die right in front of you, you just wanted to please your master by any means necessary. Even if it meant killing all these people by sending them into death traps.
You tightened a certain screw on the trap before smiling to yourself and leaning back. The man in front of you was no innocent man, he was a criminal, a monster, and he deserved this fate whether he liked it or not, causing you to smile in sadistic pleasure for the upcoming end of his life.
“Tight as a button.” You hum to yourself, looking up at the security camera located in the far right corner of the room. You knew your beloved master was watching, and you couldn’t help but give it a little wave to show that you had completed the task she assigned you. “I did it…” You exclaim softly, smiling at the flashing red light on the camera. “I’m gonna head up now, okay?”
You stood up and paid no mind to the unconscious man you just doomed to suffer a fate worse than death. Humming all too nonchalantly before leaving the room and locking it shut, ensnaring the man to leave him dead before making your way down the hall with a skip in your step. Various screams of terror and pain rang out from the other death traps as you made your way over to a secret door. The sounds of torture like a song to your ears while you pushed the passcode buttons to unlock a passage to a room.
“What an awful melody…” you murmured to yourself, glancing back at the trap rooms to listen to one more scream of terror. “It’s beautiful.”
The door to the secret passageway popped open and you moved inside with ease, your body slipping through as you maneuvered through the narrow hallways of the abandoned building. “Abandoned” as it appeared to the public, people unaware of the multiple deaths coinciding within its walls for the police have failed to track down the mastermind behind these deaths. 
The mastermind to which you served and dedicated your entire life to.
Navigating your way towards another hidden door, you pushed it open to see a tall woman sitting idly in front of a bunch of security cameras, her lean figure illuminated by the many monitors and making her seem like a god of some sort. A pleasant shiver runs down your spine when you see her, and you immediately take a bow and keep your head down low.
“Master, the player in room 14 is ready to begin his game.” You say with grace, glancing up at the taller woman in hopes of pleasing her. The woman doesn’t move for a moment, but her chair creaks slightly as she slowly turns around to face you. There she was. Your savior, your master, your goddess. The one behind the torture games, the mastermind behind all the killings…
Arlecchino, the Jigsaw killer. 
“Come, sit.” She says calmly, staring at you with those X-shaped pupils of hers that had you pressing your thighs together. “On my lap, come on sweet girl…”
She points down at her legs and you immediately walk over to plant yourself on her lap. Arlecchino wrapped her clawed hands around your waist before leaning forward to take a deep inhale of the scent in your hair. “Did my doll tighten the trap like I asked…?” She whispers into your ear, exhaling with a small groan as she squeezed your hips tighter with her hands. 
“I did. I followed everything you taught me to, master,” you say obediently, looking up at her with the brightest of smiles. “Did I do good? Are you proud of me?” If you had a tail it would for sure be wagging…
Arlecchino chuckled huskily before leaning down to kiss your neck. “You did wonderful, pet…” she says in a dark tone, running one of her nails over the bare expanse of your neck. “The drug should be wearing off soon. Would you like to watch his game with me?” She asks in a polite tone, almost mocking with the way she smiled at you so tenderly.
“Am I allowed to?” You ask softly, staring up at her with wide, doe-like eyes. Arlecchino groaned at the sight and had to keep herself from just shoving you onto her desk and fucking you raw right there, but she had enough restraint and took a deep breath. 
“Do you have to be cute, my doll?” Arlecchino husks, staring up at you with those crimson eyes of hers. “You make it impossible not to devour you…”
Your cheeks flushed at the compliment and you couldn’t help but glance away shyly. “Sorry, master…” you say softly, causing Arlecchino to scoff before smiling. “Don’t apologize, I was merely teasing…”
She pinches your cheek with her fingers before tilting your chin over to look at the monitor in front of you. “Let’s watch his prolonged suffering together, my pet. It looks like he’s starting to awaken…”
Adjusting comfortably on Arlecchino’s lap, she kept a firm hold on your waist before watching the man in the room start to awaken. He looked dazed, clearly confused why he woke up in a green-tiled room with a metal contraption stuck to his neck. He had no idea that he was about to die if he didn’t meet the requirements for Arlecchino’s game, and the thought slightly amused you as you watched him groggily stumble around the room in delusion.
The metal contraption attached to the man’s neck was Arlecchino’s infamous “bear trap.” A simple, yet deadly death trap designed to enclose multiple spikes into a person’s head if they did not complete the challenge on time. It was one of Arlecchino’s favorite traps, as it was a trap designed to kill instantly, yet instill tremendous amounts of fear into the person, as the idea of being Iron Maiden-ed in the face was too scary not to think about…
“Ah…perhaps it’s time we give him a call,” Arlecchino hums, giving your cheek a sensual kiss. “Don’t forget your mask, my pet. The adorable marionette one that makes you look simply stunning…”
You nod obediently and grab the porcelain mask on the table, Arlecchino grabbing her own rubber mask that mimicked a slack-jaw puppet. It was so kind of your master to make you a mask of your own, one that was the perfect complementary pair to match hers so that it looked like you were a couple.
You were, but it was hidden under the facade of a master and follower cover.
“Let’s give him a wake up call, shall we?” Arlecchino grins, turning on the camera and setting up the voice distorter. When the man looks up at the TV in the room, he sees two masked people, you and Arlecchino staring back at him with the creepy and unsettling puppet masks that sent shivers down his spine. It was unsettling with the way you two presented yourselves, and he immediately began shouting at the screen for answers.
“Quiet down, will you?” Arlecchino’s voice ran through the mic, gripping your waist tighter before covering your ears. “You are disturbing my precious doll with your foul words…”
The man refuses to shut up, causing Arlecchino to glare at him through the holes of her mask. She pushes a certain button and the wires of the bear trap suddenly inch closer to the man’s face, causing him to scream. 
“That’s better.” She smiles sadistically, removing her hands from your ears so you could hear. “As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me with your incompetence…”
She begins explaining the rules of the “game” giving the man a chance to escape before the inevitable closure of his death. 
“You were put in this room for becoming involved in a child trafficking ring. To escape, you must find the key to the exit behind one of the tiles in this room. You have ten minutes to complete this task, failure to finish it before the intended time limit will result in the bear trap around your neck closing.”
The man’s eyes widened and you had to keep yourself from chuckling out loud. 
“Your time begins now.”
Arlecchino then clicked off the camera and pulled off her mask, watching as the man began scrambling to search for all the tiles. There had to be at least a thousand tiles in that room, as every square inch of the walls and floor were covered in small, marble tiles. Ten minutes was being generous, but even within that extended time limit, you knew it was almost impossible to find the key as each tile was carefully adjusted to look normal and not out of place.
“So, what should we do while we wait for his ten minutes to be up?” Arlecchino hums, pushing her nose against your neck. She seemed to be implying she wants something intimate with you, but being the obedient follower that you are, you looked up innocently and tilted your head.
“What does master want to do?” You ask in a gentle tone, Arlecchino smirking with the most intimidating gaze. 
“I want to do something sinful, my dear…” she says in a gravelly tone, practically growling into your ear before tugging at your pants. “Indulge in your master, will you?”
Another scream rips through the monitor and you couldn’t help but grow a little wet at the way Arlecchino was keen on fucking you in the middle of a game. She slowly moved her hand up your thigh and you could feel just how sharp and strong her fingers were as they squeezed the ball of flesh above your jeans. The way she could so easily kill you had you on a rush, and Arlecchino groaned at the way you started to warm up against her lap with how wet you were.
“Doll, you’re just begging for me to touch you, hmm?” She chuckles into your ear. “Need my cock in you that bad, huh? You’re lucky I decided to wear it today…”
Her hand moves down to unzip her trousers, revealing a thick strap on that you knew you could take easily with some prep. “You…You were wearing that the whole time?” You exclaim with surprise, a surge of heat pulsing through your core. “I was sitting on it the whole time…?”
She throws her head back to laugh at your stupidity. It was so endearing with how innocent you were when it came to these sorts of things. “I’m surprised you didn’t feel it,” she chuckles through her amusement. “It’s a girthy thing, almost too big if I do say so myself.”
“It’s not big…!” You quickly retort back, pouting at your master before holding onto her shoulders. “I can take it. I can take it all.”
“I don’t doubt it one bit, sweet girl,” Arlecchino grins amusedly. “However, you do need quite a bit of prep work to take such a stretch. Fortunately, you’re already semi-wet, but…” She gives you a wolfish grin before toying with the belt loop of your jeans. “I’ll need that cunt of yours dripping more if you’re gonna take me now…”
You let out a small groan before unzipping your jeans to begin kicking them off, the eagerness of getting her strap inside you too obvious not to notice, as Arlecchino found it difficult to keep a straight face. “Easy there, dollface…” Arlecchino purrs lightly, squeezing your cheeks together with her hand so your lips form a small pout. “I’m in no rush, and neither should you.”
You let out a small noise of complaint at this, before obeying her words and going at a much more leisurely pace. Once your pants and underwear were off, you sat back down on Arlecchino’s lap and whimpered at the feeling of her rough trousers against your aching hole.
“Mmm…quite a delicious sight already…” Arlecchino husks, wrapping her arms around your waist once more. “But not quite wet enough. I think it’s best if you grind against my thigh for a bit, hm?” 
She stares up at you with that incredibly intimidating —yet sexy— look, rows of sharpened teeth glimmering at you under the lamplight air of the room. You had no idea how such a hot woman would be the face behind the infamous Jigsaw killer, but you weren’t complaining. She was yours and you were hers. 
“Yes, master.” You respond in a soft tone, beginning to shift your hips so that you could start grinding against her pants, panting slightly from how stimulated you already were from her dirty talk. 
Arlecchino chuckles and leans back, relaxing in her chair as she watches you grind and ride her thighs with resolve. The sight of you trying so desperately to appease her was such a turn on, and for a moment she forgot that she was currently overseeing a man’s death just rooms away from where you two were sitting. “That’s my good girl…” Arlecchino murmurs, unable to contain her groans as she fixes the shaft of her strap so it sits upright. “Just a little more and you can ride me silly.”
At her encouragement, you only grind harder, whimpering at the pleasurable feeling of her trousers providing friction to your already sensitive clit. There was a pulsing sensation that you could not deny, and as you kept grinding your hips on her leg, you felt yourself growing more wet.
“Goodness…you soaked a spot right on me,” your master smirks almost predatorily, “I think you’re ready to take me, sweet girl…”
As an extra precaution, Arlecchino grabs a bottle of lube from the corner of the table and squeezes a helping of it onto the impressive girth of her cock. The clear liquid drips down her shaft slowly, and Arlecchino gives the length a few shallow pumps before angling it so you could move. 
“Come on, just like we practiced.”  Arlecchino hums, thumbing the tip of the shaft before watching you hover over the head with a bit of hesitance. “I’ll go slow, don’t worry…”
You grip the edge of her shoulders before slowly sinking down onto the head of her cock, the wide tip slowly spearing you open before you whimper and start to feel resistance. 
“Ugh…fuck…” Arlecchino grit her teeth and had to resist the primal urge to slam you down and start thrusting into you. She knew she promised you to be gentle and wanted to keep her promise no matter how tempting it may be to break. 
“Easy there, easy…” she grunts and slowly eases her hips to help you adjust, watching as you slowly inch down bit by bit. “Master…” you whimper out softly, biting your lip before taking a deep breath. “I think I need more lube…”
“No, you’re fine. This is enough.” Arlecchino groans, shifting your hips with her hands before kissing your neck reassuringly. “Just need to find the right…angle…”
You let out a yelp when you suddenly sink down all the way, your hips meeting hers as all of her shaft had somehow fit into you with one swift motion. 
God you severely underestimated the size. It didn’t look that long, and it wasn’t. But oh lord was it thick. The girth of it enough to stretch you wide open and have you squirming in her lap to adjust, letting out pathetic whimpers as you’ve never felt so stretched open before. 
“M-Master…” you gasp, the breath knocked out of your lungs as you feel Arlecchino’s teeth graze your neck. “Too big…”
“What?” Arlecchino practically laughs sadistically in your face, X-shaped pupils almost glowing with amusement. “Didn’t you say you could take it all? That it wasn’t too big?” 
You whimpered when you were reminded of your confident words. 
“It’s not too big, babydoll. You said it yourself.” A sudden shift in her tone had you fearful for a moment as you suddenly felt a sharp thrust pulsate against your inner walls.
“Ah—!” You start to let out breathless pants and gasps when Arlecchino begins to thrust madly. 
“You were so confident earlier, what happened to wanting to take it all immediately?” She mocks, grinning with pleasure as you writhe in her grip. If there was one thing you learned while working under Arlecchino, it was that the woman was a lot stronger than she looked under that lean muscle. Practically pinning you down until you couldn’t move, before making you bounce up and down her lap till the tip of her cock was all you could feel.
“Don’t tell me my doll is defying orders now.” Arlecchino growls, slamming you back down until your pussy practically wraps itself around her length, gripping it for all that it was worth, while you lolled your head back in absolute bliss. “N-Nngh…master…” you moaned out pathetically, the stretch burning you wonderfully while you cling to Arlecchino for sanity. “Slower…please…”
Arlecchino scoffs at that and gives your rear a tiny spank, laughing at the way you recoiled in surprise. 
“Slower? You want me to go slower?” She was mocking you again, the sadism evident in her voice. “Babydoll, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
She spanks your read once more and bites your neck rather aggressively, a dark hickey beginning to form at the base while she continues ramming her girth into your cunt. The way you were holding onto her so tightly —and pathetically— gave Arlecchino a power strike of ecstasy, the woman animalistic with her ruts as she digs her claws even further against your ass.
“You’re dripping so much, my sweet girl,” she groans into your throat, “Such a mess, I’ll need you to clean everything up for me later, right?”
She sneers at the way you whine at her words before shaking your head in obedience.
“Yes, master!”
“Good fucking girl.”
She suddenly lifts you up and places you on her desk, the bright blue monitors illuminating your body like a heavenly light while Arlecchino thrusts more brutally into your flesh. Rough hands prying your legs further apart as she pushes you down to deliver a passionate kiss. With one final push, you feel your body twitch before a squeal leaves your lips and cum drips down your thighs, your climax reaching a beautiful finale, as the monitor above you plays the sound of the man screaming to death in his room. The trap had closed around his head and ensnared his head in a casket of spikes, leaving him to bleed out in the tiled room of door 14.
“Hah…hah…looks like he didn’t make it.” Arlecchino pants, grinning all too wildly before kissing your neck affectionately. “Good girl. I knew I could count on you…”
As she nuzzles your neck with her face, you hear the door behind her suddenly creak open before gentle humming fills the room. Arlecchino turns back to see who had entered, before smiling at the sight of the other person.
“My, my, I see you’ve had your fun with her already.” Came a familiar, feminine voice. You looked up to see a shorter woman wearing a pig mask shutting the door, lithe hands reaching up to pull off the atrocious mask, and revealing a petite, yet beautiful woman you recognized as Columbina. One of Arlecchino’s most dutiful proxies. 
“Goodness, she’s certainly soaked your pants, Arlecchino.” Columbina tuts with faux astonishment. “I can’t believe you two started without me.” 
“You were taking too long,” Arlecchino chuckles back, caressing your cheek with a clawed nail. “You should’ve been faster.”
“Ah, I was too busy setting up the victims for the next few games,” the pigheaded woman sighs, strutting over to pinch your cheek playfully. “Looks like this little one will have to make it up to me now…”
You instinctively melted under Columbina’s touch, nuzzling your face into the soft, sweet palm of her hand. She cooes affectionately at the sight, before giving your head a little puppy-like pat. “Good girl…”
“She is, isn’t she?” Arlecchino grins, picking you up once more to sit on her lap while she rests on her chair. “I think this sweet thing can spare us one more round. For Columbina’s sake, right?” She lifts your chin with a finger, staring at you as if almost daring you to say no. 
“Of course, master…” you say obediently, arousal starting to drip down your thighs once more at the possibility of a threesome. 
“Atta girl…” Columbina giggles, pressing up behind you and kissing the back of your ear. “Just the perfect doll for us to share…”
You only bucked back your hips at that, ready to give whatever these two women wanted from you.
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midnighvtm4ss · 2 months
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Rosemary
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Summary: After finding out Arthur’s secret you soothe your aching heart with a nice girls night out drinking in Rhodes. Unfortunately for you your problems seem to follow you everywhere. part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
AO3 link (a better rewritten version of this fic on ao3)
Pairing: Arthur Morgan x f!reader
Content: angst, hurt/no comfort, nothing a girls night out cannot cure ;) grammar errors for sure :(
a/n: I know you guys all wanted part 2 to be their happily ever after but,, I crave some more angst so yeah it gets messyy !! But nonetheless our girl gets some fun with the girls and some more information about Arthur and Mary’s hush hush meetings. Let me know your thoughts about it and if you sweets want part 3 !! P.S. I recommend you listen to “Rosemary” by Sierra Ferrell while reading. It’s so so good, it also kinda inspired this little fanfic here <33 (gif from pinterest)
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“G’mornin’ sweet girl” Arthur groggily whispered against your neck giving you a light kiss, the movement causing the thick hair of his beard to tickle the space between your neck and your shoulder, before rolling out of bed with a tired groan, the mattress shifting under his movements unlike your unmoving form.
After your late night discovery of not one, not two but a whole drawer full of your boyfriend’s ex-fiancé letters it was safe to say that sleep didn’t come easy for you. As much as you wanted for all of this to be a dream, to close your eyes, wake up and sigh of relief laughing about the ‘bizarre dream’ you had with your Arthur while cuddling under the soft protection of the thick bed sheets, reality decided to slap you right in the face instead, leaving you awake all night trying to hold onto all the broken pieces of your heart.
During your sleepless night you wandered to yourself your next move. Should you just throw everything into his face revealing to him that you knew that the ‘sorry fellow’ of the letter was, in reality, his ex fiancé and yell at him as soon as he wakes up or wait and find out more before confronting him ? Considering the fact that you couldn’t properly read, you just had Mary’s name on various envelopes as evidence. Maybe they’re catching up on each other’s life. Just harmless conversations.
Although your heart screamed at you to just confront him first thing in the morning you knew that with what little evidence you had you would just cause a scene. You needed to go deeper into this story. As much as I’d hurt you needed to know for sure if you wasted three years of your life going after a man whose heart had already been claimed a long time ago.
You brushed off Arthur’s affection muttering a quick tired ‘morning’ before stretching your limbs out and leaving the tent, ignoring the man behind you still sitting on the bed looking at you with a puzzled expression at the lack of your usual loving greeting. Even though you two had the biggest tent in camp, aside for Dutch, it felt claustrophobic being in there with him. You needed space to think, to breathe, to not hurt.
The fresh breeze of October grounding you from your spiraling thoughts as you walked towards the pot of coffee on the fire near Pearson’s tent.
“Well look who’s here in all her glory” a voice, which you recognized as Karen’s by the thick accent, basically yelled at you over the nearby round table.
“You look like you fought a damn herd of buffalos Miss. What the hell are you an’ that old man doing in the night” she cackled at the last sentence gesturing you to join her at the table. Seated on her left Tilly shook her head sending you a sympathetic look.
“Are you already drunk ? Why are you so loud for, it’s seven in the morning” you grumbled in your mug of coffee as you took a sip, instantly cringing at the burnt taste that filled your mouth before sitting down with them.
“I’m happy to inform you that I haven’t had a sip since yesterday at lunch” she smiled smugly lifting her chin up at her achievement.
“That’s ‘cause we haven’t seen Miss Grimshaw yet. Bet you by the end of the day you’d kill for a little bit of booze after that woman.” Tilly said fixing the buttons on her yellow blouse, her words reminding you of the long day ahead of you, making you mentally shiver. It wasn’t exactly that you dreaded the woman, after all, you all knew she cared about you in her own twisted way but her attitude didn’t help with making the camp’s chores more tolerable. It seemed like the warmer weather of Lemoyne was putting everyone on edge.
After a few minutes of Karen and Tilly arguing on what was the worst chore to do around camp Abigail and Mary Beth’s dainty figure joined your small group, Mary Beth’s eyes briefly locking on yours before greeting the other girls. You couldn’t quite understand the meaning behind that look but something told you that at some level she knew something about the letters. That possibility made you nauseous to even think of because it would mean that Mary Beth, the girl who always put a smile on your face, the one who always had your back ended up covering for your cheating partner. You needed to know the truth and you needed it now. But before you could even mutter a word to her Karen called your group to attention.
“Gals, I don’t know about y’all but if I stay just one more moment in this godforsaken camp I’m gonna lose my mind.” her statement gaining a few nods and grunts among your group. With the unnecessary gunfight in Valentine leading you all to move further away from the West and this absurd play at sheriffs in town, tension was undeniably high around camp. “I heard from a handsome fella I met in town that there’s going to be some famous lady from Saint Denis singing at the saloon this evening. Heard also there’s going to be some rich folks from Saint Denis with her. Are y’all thinking the same thing I’m thinking ?”
there was a moment of silence as Karen looked at everyone with gleaming eyes.
“Hells know I need a break from this. I’m in” Tilly was the first who broke the silence followed by Mary Beth, the two girls earning a big smile from Karen.
“I don’t know, I have Jack and,” Abigail never had a chance to finish the sentence as Karen immediately interrupted her, telling her to leave Jack with Hosea for a few hours at not make a fuss. It’s not like you were going to be there all night, plus god’s knows how that woman needed some well deserved time for herself once in a while.
You couldn’t lie, the idea of going out after weeks of being in the same spot with the same routine every day excited you quite a bit and if on top of that you add some good ol’ pickpocketing then consider yourself sold. You were going out this evening no matter what.
“Are y’all lazy do-nothin’ girls done chit chatting !? There’s so much work to do today and you’re all sittin’ there doing nothin’. This generation is unbelievable. Get your asses off to work. Now.” The unmistakable trill of Miss Grimshaw's voice shook you from your comfortable seats putting you all to work for the day. As you got up from your seat you tried your best to ignore Arthur’s piercing gaze on you.
––––– ✧ ✦ ✧ –––––
The sun was slowly setting over flat iron lake, the sky tinted with a mixture of oranges and pinks. You passed your day washing the camp's dirty laundry, scrubbing dry blood and dirt from the old fabrics of each camp’s member clothes. Managing more or so to avoid Arthur throughout launch, the task not easy as he sat down with you and wouldn’t stop talking to you or asking you questions. You tried your best to not straight up ignore him, answering with monosyllabic answers to his questions. Eventually, he understood you weren’t having it, his hands leaving their place on top of the one you had flat on the table. An annoyed expression evident on his face. Why all of a sudden were you ignoring him ? His mind working miles an hour to find out what he did wrong but failing at the task. You seemed fine last night so what the hell happened to make his darling so distant from him.
When you were getting up from the table to put your dirty dish in the washing bin he tried to stop you, his calloused hand delicately taking your wrist. His confused face met with your tired one. He studied your face almost as if the secret to your behavior was hidden through your mesmerizing features. He tried to say something but the words wouldn’t come up, leaving both of you staring into each other eyes, his aqua ones filled with turmoil, before Uncle's voice burst your bubble calling Arthur for work.
After that, you only saw him half an hour later mounting on his horse before riding off.
You definitely needed this night with the girls.
Putting on your last finishing touches to your lipstick you met with Tilly and Abigail near the horse-drawn carriage that Lenny swiftly stole from a nearby town.
“Hello ladies,” you faked a bow lifting your skirt up by the sides the action causing the other two girls to laugh “ready for this eventful evening ?”
“Well of course I’m ready” Tilly replied mimicking your fake posh accent before getting on the carriage helped by Lenny who was your driver for the night since he also had some business to attend to. You waited for Karen and Mary Beth before going off to town, the drive to Rhodes filled with light chit-chat and silly songs, your mind and heart already feeling at ease.
As you all thanked Lenny for the drive you looked around noticing the numerous people around you, the town buzzing with life but most importantly buzzing with opportunities to steal. Before entering the saloon you strolled through the town, Abigail and Mary Beth’s skilled hands already pickpocketing around while you, Karen and Tilly distracted the poor fellas.
Twenty dollars in your pocket and half an hour later you entered the saloon, gladly finding an empty table to sit near the stage that was occupied by a tall blonde woman in a fancy dress who you deduced was the famous singer from Saint Denis.
With drinks on the table and the sweet melody of the guitar, a light conversation about your successful operation sparked amongst your group until a man approached your table, the heavy scent of alcohol evident on him as he tried to drunkenly flirt with Tilly, ending up insulting her rather than woo her earning a slap in the face from the girl, attracting some attention to your table. Luckily the slimy man was too drunk to react and decided to wander off as you all giggled at the situation.
Round after round you all let loose getting up to dance to the merry melody of the music. Tilly standing near the table swaying in her red dress, with Karen by her side singing her heart out, already too drunk for her own good, while Abigail chatted with one of the men from Saint Denis. You shot her a wink as soon as you noticed the wealthy man making her face light up with mirth.
What an absolute fool you are John Marston.
The only two sitting down were you and Mary Beth, whose eyes never left you since sitting down. Her presence a reminder of your cracked heart. It was supposed to be a fun night at the saloon away from your problems, but your curiosity and need to be wrong about Mary and Arthur gnawed inside of you.
“Mary Beth,” you cautiously greeted her, scooting your chair closer to hers so the other girls wouldn’t hear the two of you from their nearby positions. You didn’t want any more drama to spread around tonight.
“Hi,” there was a long uncomfortable pause before she looked up to you again and started blurting everything out. “I’m sorry, I really do. I should have told you he was receiving letters from her again I just didn’t know how to tell you. When I found the first letter two weeks ago he told me he was gonna tell you. But then I saw how you reacted yesterday seeing her letter and I knew he didn’t” She took your hands in hers before continuing, her words coming out fast, the alcohol in her system making her accent heavier “Oh I’m such a fool, please forgive me, I just didn’t want to come between your relationship”.
You were taken aback by her sudden confession, you thought it would be a tad more complicated to let her open up to you about it. Hearing her point of view definitely helped you clear your mind a bit, she had a fair point. It wasn’t her fault Arthur decided to hide something like this. Your anger towards that man growing more and more. Nonetheless, you couldn’t help but notice one thing.
“You said the first letter arrived two weeks ago ?” you asked her. His drawer was full of letters, it was impossible to send that many letters in just two weeks.
“Yes, then I gave it to Arthur, I usually pick up the mail but Arthur has been helping me lately, why?” you started to fidget with the bracelet Arthur gifted for your first anniversary, a small gesture you did when thinking or anxious. The dots in your mind slowly connecting.
––––– ✧ ✦ ✧ –––––
You were about to go back to camp, everyone was on the carriage. Lenny, who had come back from his business with some intel, was back in his driver seat ready to go when you noticed you forgot your gloves at the saloon. Quickly apologizing you clumsily hopped down the carriage, your tipsy state making your movements far from gracious, giggling to yourself you walked back to the saloon to retrieve your gloves. Thankfully they were still on the table untouched.
As you walked back to the carriage enjoying the chilly weather of October from the corner of your eyes you noticed a familiar figure standing outside a building. Maybe it was the alcohol running through your veins or perhaps your curious nature but you turned to steal a glance at the figure.
All color drained from your face as you saw who it was.
As you saw her.
You met her just once in the past but the figure you saw was unmistakably the one of Mary. Smiling up at a man you instantly recognized.
You felt your heart cracking even more. You ran away as fast as you could, leaving pieces of your shattered heart behind as you reached the carriage, quickly hopping on.
During the whole ride, you tried your absolute best to not cry in front of everyone and ruin the cheerful mood, biting the inside of your cheeks as a distraction.
––––– ✧ ✦ ✧ –––––
You were back in your tent when Abigail stopped by.
“Hey, I saw you earlier and you didn’t look so good, are you ok sweetie ?” she asked, her sweet voice full of concern as she put her hand on your shoulder moving it in a calming manner, the tone of her voice and her action causing you to break down in tears like a child to their mother. She quickly pulled you into one of her comforting hugs as you violently sobbed your heart out. Soft ‘It’s ok’ left her lips as she held your shaking form in her arms. Managing to let out a small ‘Arthur’ to answer her question on what was wrong.
Seeing him with Mary tonight was the final straw. You didn’t need any more evidence, you already had everything you needed. He lied to Mary Beth about the letter, he lied to you about it too, matter of fact he lied to you about everything. How could he walk around kissing you, touching you, acting all caring as if nothing. As if he didn’t have a drawer with Mary’s letters, as if he didn’t lie to you this whole time.
Your heartbreak slowly turned into anger, the more you thought about it the more your blood boiled.
“Wanna talk about it ?” sensing you calming down from your sobs she gently fixed a strand of hair behind your ear, a concerned expression evident on her fair features. You dried your tears, your hands stained with mascara. You undoubtedly looked like a mess, or at least you felt like it.
Then, a familiar sound of hooves on the ground could be heard from the entrance of camp.
Arthur was back.
“Oh, so help me God I’m gonna strangle that piece of shit”.
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natalievoncatte · 7 months
Text
On Krypton, vows had meaning. Proclamations were not made lightly, and promises were not given casually. Kara’s peers wouldn’t throw one out as a reassurance, or to settle an argument. They were a logical people. They didn’t deceive, didn’t speak words they didn’t know to be true, and didn’t give opinions that were not informed. Society was ordered and regimented, and everyone put the greater good before themselves. So if you made a promise, no matter how great or how small, you would do it.
Kara learned, later in life, that a lot of her birth culture was, to use an English word that had no equivalent in her language, bullshit. Kryptonians would, she thought, claim that they had no use for such a vulgar term for cavalier prevarication because they did not practice it. That would had been a lie.
Her parents bullshitted her. They bullshitted her about the society she was growing up in. Her world wasn’t a real of perfect logic and order, it was a hidebound, decaying ex-empire that put tradition so irrationally high on a pedestal that they let their world be destroyed and all but a handful of their people wiped out because tradition said that her uncle was wrong about the planetary core going unstable.
Nevertheless, when Kara made a promise, she meant it. When she said she’d vowed to protect her adoptive home with her life, she meant it. Those words all but signed her life away in service to the cause. She was this way in everything, from saving the world down to brining Cat Grant a precisely prepared cup of coffee. Her promises meant something.
That was why she filled herself with dread the instant a promise, given unthinkingly in the heat of the moment, tumbled out of her mouth.
I will always be your friend, and I will always protect you.
She’d dishonored herself with the promise, one broken as it was made. She held Lena tight, speaking with conviction, and promised to be a friend even as she lied, swore to protect even as she deceived. It was a promise that couldn’t be kept no matter what she did.
Kara had become human in so many ways, and it gnawed at her. Another English word that had no exact Kryptonian equivalent was freedom. A proper Kryptonian would be horrified at ideas that boiled down to “I can do what I want”; I can choose my career, my partner, my life. I can put fulfillment ahead of the role chosen for me by those who know better. Yet Kara had embraced it full throated, making choices whenever she could.
The one thing she would never give up was the value of an oath.
She was over the Pacific, thinking. She would come out here from time to time to think and clear her head when the city soundscape became overwhelming, and just let herself drift in the air. There were no texts to agonize over, no emails from Snapper, nothing but herself and the lapping of waves and the distant rumble of storms over the open ocean.
She’d been coming out here more and more of late, not to think but to avoid thinking.
Because Lena knew, and Kara knew something was wrong. She could be dense about human behavior sometimes, but she was no fool… and she had super senses. She could read Lena’s pulse and see infrared flush of her skin and spot micro-movements of her eyes. Kara wanted desperately to believe that nothing was wrong but her instincts said otherwise.
When Kara told her, Lena had gone stock still and stared at her with what Kara thought was hatred, bringing tears. She’d tried to tell her how sorry she was, but Lena had just walked right past her and only later returned to her usual self.
Almost.
Kara had thrown herself into it, going on a campaign of what Alex had called ‘peacocking’ for some reason, all but burying Lena with super-stunts like fetching fresh pastries from French patissiers. Lena had smiled and thanked her but there was something flat and distant in it, and Kara ignored it and insisted that all was well.
Out here, with just the storms and her secrets, she knew it wasn’t.
Kara fingered the crest on her chest, worrying her thumb over the crimson fabric of the El rune. This meant something. It meant both ‘hope’ and ‘stronger together’; the two ideas were inextricably linked but her cousin only understood one of the meanings, because Kryptonian pictographic language was complex, and he was not Kryptonian in any way that mattered.
That was another great failing, a promise that Kara made but didn’t keep. By her people’s standards, there was no shame in that; one did not bear the responsibility of a promise made under duress, or a promise that others demanded knowing that it couldn’t be kept.
The only one she’d kept Kryptonian was herself, deep in a secret corner of her soul that meant it if she said she’d be at your birthday party or bring you a donut. The part that treated promises like promises.
There was only one way to cleanse herself, and remove her shame. She knew what it was, but she was afraid. Kara had battled monsters and gods, faced death more than once, lost more than any person should have to lose in a dozen lifetimes, but there was one thing she feared above all others.
She feared that first honest look on Lena’s shocked face more than she feared an eternity without stars. She could live in the void between realities; a void without Lena would kill her more surely than any green poison.
Now. She had to do it now, before she lost her nerve. She flew back to the city, flew hard, slowing only to land on Lena’s balcony, softly. As she raised her hand to knock on the glass of the door, she hesitated, nearly turned back.
Lena opened it, and Kara let out a slow breath. Lena was wearing only a loose, flowing floral robe, with clearly nothing beneath it. Terror made her listen- if Lena had a guest in that state, Kara might just fling herself into the sun and be done with it.
She was alone. Lena shifted on her feet.
“Why are you all wet?”
Kara’s hair was damp with sea spray and she’d flown through a few clouds on her way back.
“I like to fly over the ocean and think.”
“Well, come in here already. Let me get you a towel. Do you want something to change into?”
Kara swallowed hard. No. She wanted the honor of her family on her chest right now. She needed it to make her brave, like her father said it would when he sent her into the void. She did take the towel.
Lena had been enjoying her tea and sad breakfast -toast with jam- before Kara arrived. She left it on the counter and sat on her couch, leaving Kara to pace.
“I can tell you’re upset,” said Lena. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Everything,” said Kara. “I have a lot to say and I don’t know how to say it. I haven’t told you the full truth and I have to. I need to. It’s eating me alive inside.”
Lena swallowed hard, her heart racing.
“Please don’t tell me you’re Batman, too.”
“Lena, this is serious.”
Kara swept across the room and knelt in front of her, and Lena’s eyes shot open wide in surprise. Kara looked at the carpet in front of her, unable to look Lena in the eye.
“A long time ago, I promised you I’d always take care of you, and I didn’t. I was lying to you when I said it and I lied to you for years after.”
“Kara…”
“Please,” desperation choked her voice, “let me finish. I owe you the full truth. I promised, and promises are sacred to Kryptonians. My soul will be stained forever unless I fulfill the oath I made.”
“It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“Yes it was,” said Kara. “It was to me. It was everything to me. Please.”
Lena cleared her throat. “Okay.”
“I told you I lied to you to protect you. That was another lie. That’s not why I did it. I lied because I was weak and I put my own feelings ahead of doing what was right. I was scared. I was scared that if you knew it would change how you saw me and it would change our relationship. You were the only person I could almost be myself with and I didn’t want that to change. You were a safe person I could go to without having to be Supergirl.”
Lena was studying her, a soft hint of skepticism in her expression.
Kara stood up and paced.
“I don’t know how to do this, Lena. I may act human and look human but I’m not. I grew up on another planet with another culture and so many things about this world are just totally different from how I was raised.”
Kara took a deep breath.
“On Krypton we didn’t have queerness. People didn’t value freedom of choice. You did what society told you to do. You joined the guild you were pledge to at birth and married the person you were told to marry and had the offspring you were told to have and raised them to do the same thing. The same fucking thing.”
Lena sat up at Kara’s sudden, vehement profanity.
“I didn’t know the word freedom until I arrived here. I had no concept of it. I had no idea how fragile and precious it is. Sure, I talked about it and wrote essays about it in school, but I didn’t get it. Not until I met you.”
Kara looked at Lena.
“You are my freedom. You’re the first thing I’ve ever chosen, really chosen, in my life, besides being Supergirl. It was you that made me look Cat Grant and Alex both in the eyes and say ‘no, this is what I want, this is how it’s going to be for me and it’s my choice, not yours.’ Back home I never, ever would have even thought what I’m about to say now.”
Kara swallowed, hard.
“I was afraid to tell you because I was afraid it would change our relationship. I was afraid you’d hate me because I kept the secret too long, but I was also afraid of what has to come after confessing my identity to you, Lena. The next part is even harder.”
“Kara,” Lena began.
“I have feelings for you.”
Lena went still, her eyes wide. “What did you say?”
“I want to be myself with you. My whole self, my real self. Not the person I think I have to be to please someone else. I want to tell you everything you want to know about my home and my people and my life and I want to know everything about you. I want to hear you laugh for me and see the look in your eyes when you’re happy to see me. I want to care for you when you’re sick and hold you when you’re sad and be the person that matters to you like you matter to me.”
Kara sucked in a deep breath.
“I used to think I was happy just being Kara with you. Not being Kara Danvers or Kara Zoe-El, just me… but I’m not me without both of those pieces and being without them isn’t good enough. I want you to know the real me. The girl from Krypton who went to high school in California.”
Lena stood up slowly, clearly forcing her breathing even. She adjusted her robe around herself, and looked at Kara for too long a time, silent.
“I hurt you when I promised I’d protect you and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“What do you want from me? To tell you it’s okay?” said Lena. “Is that what you want? Because it’s fucking not.”
Kara flinched. She opened her mouth, then closed it.
Lena had given her this courtesy and she’d give it in return.
“It wasn’t just you, Kara. I built my whole life around you and your friends and they became my friends. You gave me a normal world. I got to be a regular girl when I was with you and the others. Do you have any idea what that means to me? What you did to me when you ripped it away? Do you have any idea how you’ve torn me to shreds?”
Kara choked a little, and tried to hold back the tears, and failed.
“I killed Lex. I killed him and I hid his body, myself. I killed my brother for you. And the worst part is I’d do it again. If it was him or you I’d kill him again.”
Cold dread flooded through her.
“That was my fault. That was exactly the kind of thing that I should have protected you from, and I failed you." Kara's breath hitched as she bit back a sob. "I should go."
Lena moved quickly and grabbed her arm tight. "Don't you fucking dare leave. You can't just say those things to me and leave."
Kara's nostrils flared as she sucked in a big breath.
"Lex told me who you were as he was dying. He showed me."
Kara looked at her. "Oh."
"I started to hate you. I started to believe the things he said about you. And what happened then? You told me! You just blurted it out!"
Lena choked down a sob of her own, and something in Kara shattered. Tentatively, carefully, Kara pulled her into a gentle hug, and Lena let her.
"I don't know what to do anymore," Lena whispered into Kara's chest. "I've lost everything."
Kara held her closer, breathing the soft scent of her shower-damp hair.
"I don't know what to do either," Kara admitted. "I just knew I couldn't bear to lie to you again, even by omission. I'll go if you want."
"You're not leaving," said Lena. "I don't want you to go. Promise you won't leave me."
Kara shivered. "Lena…"
"Promise."
"I promise," Kara whispered.
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livelaughlovesubs · 4 months
Note
Food for thought for sub Boothill: wireplay!
Mechanic reader who helps with repairs all up inside him and maybe an update has him tingle each time they touch his wires, or graze his ports, or the potential opportunities 🤤
I only did minor researches about cyborgs to have a basic understanding, so most of the things I write down will be purely fiction. Also sorry that it turned out as angst instead of NSFW :(
Feel free to ask for a second part to make up for it
Warning: (a little) angst, we are screwing around
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Boothill had hinted at the fact that he can’t feel with his mechanical body parts for a while now. For him, who has been like this for so long, one would think he had gotten used to it. Yet that wasn’t the case. Were you to ask him if it bothered him, he’d answer no without an ounce of hesitation. This used to be the truth, until he fell for you. In other words, if you were to ask him the same question now, the response would be much more heartbreaking.
To get a simple comparison, it was as if your body didn’t belong to you. Despite him technically being able to do anything, it felt as if he couldn’t at the same time. Serving as an echo and reminder of his hopelessness prior to gaining this body. It was only a small price to pay considering the sin he committed by being the sole survivor, his path of revenge was fuelled with nothing but pure rage. A second life, filled with endless possibilities, at the loss of his own humanity, not the worst of his sacrifices.
The most regrettable change he had to undergo was the loss of sensation. Everyday, a numbness that wouldn’t vanish engulfed him from the bottom to his shoulders, pretty much mirroring his inner emotions. How losing the sense of touch could throw one into a deep abyss of endless emptiness was unimaginable. To think this would have such a huge consequence on his psyche was unpredictable, he believed it wouldn’t come this far, since he still could feel from his shoulders up to his head. He was horribly wrong.
Whenever you embraced him, some kind of guilt mixed with adoration would eat away at him. Boothill craved your touch, more than that he wanted to feel your warmth when he hugs you, not just the cold iron. At the same time he wished you’d find someone else. Staying by his side would only bring problems, considering the high bounty on his head. You deserved it, you deserved so much better than this icy, robotic body of his. Sometimes his true thoughts would slip out and he’d accidentally tell you how it’s a pity he can’t feel anything. Soon after he’d chuckle and tell you not to worry about it, as well as how he’s grateful for his current life, since he’ll be able to carry out revenge this way.
You have long figured out his concerns, and no matter how you showered his body with love and affection, he only seemed to condemn himself more. This wasn’t something you could just accept like that, seeing your lover being so down caused you nothing but grief. Especially with the thought in mind that you couldn’t help him- no. That’s not true. You could if you wanted to, it’s never too late to learn new things. Besides you had a basic understanding of mechanics and things related to it, since it is a part of your work. Even if you had never done something this high-tech, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Giving it a shot wouldn’t hurt no one, right?
After coming to such resolves, it got shaken again by your endless worries. You had no idea where to start, nor how a cyborg works. Besides the IPC is way more knowledgeable about this than you, so what’s the chance of success? How were you going to achieve that goal anyway? Uncountable amounts of questions flooded your mind, chasing away any traces of confidence you previously had. That’s when you reminded yourself as to why you wanted to do all of this in the first place. It’s all because of him, he wanted to feel, and who were you to refuse his request? Thus began your secret operation, to program a small device that works as a sensory aid. This took you so long that boothill also noticed you hiding something from him, yet he never asked, respecting your wish to keep it a secret.
One day, after you were sure that it was done and hundred precent safe, you mustered enough courage to present the idea to him. Your heart was in your hand while you explained it to him, on what exactly you would have to do as well as what this little piece of metal can do. With trembling hands, you held the small chip. It was only as big as a pingpong ball, yet it took you months to refine it to perfection. Suddenly breathing was like the most difficult task in the world, as well as speaking. Your breath was short and ragged as you stumbled over your words, trying your best to explain the situation. It was hard to believe you were suggesting the idea of doing modifications on your dear boyfriend.
Boothill was initially grinning, wondering what kind of present you got him. When he saw your nervous stutters and the gift in your hand, his expression loosened up a little, thus he was smiling meekly now. Without beating around the bush, he clasped his hand over yours, then said, “m’ mighty fine, ya’ do what ya’ want, no need to force it, aight?” His hand was cold like always, in contrary to you he didn’t quiver, simply because he couldn’t. Even so you knew this was very shocking to him, you noticed by the indescribable look on his face. There was his usual cheerful air, brave smirk and reassuring yet chaotic vibe. Though a hint of bitterness was hidden behind these layers.
Why? That’s what he wondered about. You spend all your free time on this, just for him, because he accidentally pitied it once or twice? Even though he appreciated the thoughts and efforts, he still felt bad. Yet there was something else too, scepticism. If this were to work, would things get better? Doubt, suspicion and most prominently fear engulfed him. What if it just doesn’t work? You must be so disappointed if that were the case. Or something might go wrong and he never gets the chance to hold you again, that would be way worse than his current fate. Frankly enough, he is already grateful to have a place to call home again, which is why he doesn’t want to be too greedy.
You nodded, then said, “I want to try, okay?” He saw your determination, so he had to reason to refuse you, giving you a smile as he replied, “don’t mess me up too much, darling.” After getting his consent, you made him lie down on the working bench. If he didn’t knew any better, it almost felt like you were a doctor. You started with removing his cover, using a cordless screwdriver to get rid of the metal plates on his torso. This way you can access his central parts and inner systems. Operating on a human being was stressing, especially because it was someone dear to you too. It took you a while until you properly understood his body and how everything worked, many wires were placed everywhere, so many that it confused you. There were also artificial bones to help stabilise and protect the wires as well as countless devices, similar to the task of real bones. Some kind of blue liquid was being pumped to his heart, keeping it alive. You found many chips for various purposes, yours in contrary looked like a joke. This was overwhelming at first, but after studying him for a bit, you came to understand most of it.
Behind his pelvis was his oil tank, with the energy conversion device being right next to it. It was connected to every single part of his body, since it was the machine delivering energy through every wire. There were also many other human-like parts; an artificial lung, an oxygen cylinder to store the air needed to keep the brain alive, an artificial stomach which was more like a storage for bullets. The department that you needed the most was behind his chest, where his motor for motion skills are. It was located alongside a few other big systems. If you could somehow connect the control system with your little chip there, then he might be able to turn on or off the sensor at free will. No doubt it was a bold gamble, but you were willing to try.
After hours of endless finger-work, to the point sweat was dripping down your chin, you finally managed to attach the device to the right place. A total of 52 tiny wires were needed to properly connect everything, the last thing you had to do was to reattach his covers. Before moving on to that part, you tapped your self made chip gently, wondering if he would be able to feel anything already. During the entire time you were working and basically experimenting on him, Boothill stayed quiet, not wanting to disrupt you. Though this time, he let out an irritated gasp, “huh.” It was strange, something wasn’t quite right. That means you did manage to make modifications to his body, the question is if it’s a good thing. “Boothill, are you alright?” You asked him immediately, worried that you made things worse. “Shucks cutie, m’fine, I’m not that frail.” Once again he retorted to his usual fun demeanour.
It wasn’t a lie, he was fine, but that doesn’t mean nothing happened. Though he didn’t know how to describe it neither. Somehow it felt like electricity was send to his brain, stimulating his nerves. The sensation he just experienced… it was weird yet familiar. Could it be whatever you did worked? Was that bizarre sensation the sense of touch? It’s been so long, he doesn’t know nor remember anymore. “I’m done, can you see if you can turn it on?” You said hesitantly, almost sounding as unsure as him. Boothill looked through his system, and there has indeed been a new feature unlocked. He downloaded it swiftly, a little on edge as he waited. 98%…99%… and done. “How do you feel?” The anticipation in your voice was as clear as day. This was the most intense part of your operation after all, it was if it bore fruition.
“I really don’t feel a difference.” He told you honestly, his brows furrowed. It seems he also kind of hoped for it to work, guess his expectations were too high. Your heart sank, all this work for nothing. In an instant, you grabbed his hand and brought it to your chest. With a disappointed and guilty tone, you spoke, “I’m sorry, I made you go through all that for nothing.” Then you held his iron hand tightly, as if to apologise to him. As soon as your skin made contact with him, his hand twitched and he pulled it back. A dumbfounded look was on your face along with the grief. When you stared at him, totally confused, you noticed his face heat up. “Boothill…?”
“Your hand’s warm.” He stated, lips slightly parted which revealed his sharp teeth. “What?” You didn’t quite catch the meaning behind his words, hence the question. Boothill sit up very abruptly and pointed a finger to his body, “touch m’ here.” Despite you not understanding the situation, you obliged anyway, tapping his torso with your index finger. “It worked!” The cyborg stated, blinking a few times in awe. “My forking goodness, this shirt works.” “You mean…?” Your own eyes widened, staring at him in disbelief. It worked? Your little amateur operation there? “It worked.” You had to repeat those words that seemed so unfamiliar in your mouth.
The realisation hit you, your hard work payed off and it wasn’t unnecessary. In an instand you pulled that man into a hug, wrapping your arms around his torso, holding him tightly. “Hey now, don’t squeeze me so suddenly mother-fudger, hahaha.” Boothill laughed, returning your embrace immediately. This feeling was what he subconsciously missed. For the first time in years, he could feel the warmth of another. He can feel it when something is touching him, when you are caressing him so gently.
Even though first and foremost he looks unbothered, only happy about this new function, he was deeply shaken by it. His bottom lip trembled due to the overwhelming emotions swirling around inside him. If he could cry, he would. Partly because he’s so grateful for your deeds, also because feeling so many stimulations when he literally couldn’t for years is a bit overwhelming. It wasn’t bad though, your hug felt so nice. To think the first thing he gets to feel after being senseless all these years is not anything fighting related, but the soft feeling of your tender embrace. How lucky he was. If he dared to be a little more selfish, then he’d wish this moment could last forever.
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flowersandbigteeth · 7 months
Note
Now I’m thinking about how cute of a story it’d be if a human woman reader had a preference towards monster men, but she kept getting used by a lot of monster fetishists to fill their own fantasies. Getting her heart broken constantly as they didn’t see her as a being with real feelings. And eventually she gives up…But of course x monster comes into her life and tries his best to court her cause he actually does love her and see her as a person. Reader of course is very jaded and thinks he’ll use and abuse her too, just like all the others.
If you’re still interested in writing somber stories with a happily ever after in the end, something like this could be fun to explore. The ugly exploitive relationship dynamics taken onto human women by monster men.
Like just imagine reader is sitting in a park, having a picnic, a monster comes up to her, is pleasant, and reader thinks that this is going to be “the one” finally, and gets her heart broken again when he asks her for a one night stand. Or even worse…hands her a card to work at a human x monster exclusive private fetish club…
Um...so I ended up with something close to this, but kind of with a different spin. I've been wanting to do a mothman for soooooo long and this just came together in the right way. So here he is ^_^
Mothman (Roth) x f reader
Word Count: 9.5K
General Plot: Your gargoyle crush asks you out on a date and things don't go as planned.
TW: nsfw mothman smut, moth genetalia, a lot of teeth, kidnapping, sexy pheromones, a bit of violence, reader being tied up and gagged, revenge, mating and soft yandere vibes, bad boyfriends
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“Five, ten, fifteen…fifteen,” you sighed counting your tips as you sat on the curb outside the kitchen of the Italian restaurant you worked at. 
Tears bubbled in your eyes as you realized you hadn’t made nearly enough to cover the rent you were already late on. 
“How you doing mite,” a deep voice rumbled behind you. 
You heard a squeak and then a thunk as Tyre, the chef, dumped some trash. Wiping your eyes, you peered up at him, trying to hide the redness on your cheeks. Tyre was a handsome gargoyle with slate gray skin and piercing blue eyes. He smirked as your eyes met. Sniffling, you tried to clean up your face. 
“Nothing, nothing, I’m fine.” 
He glanced down at the odd dollars and some change in your hand. 
“Bad night?” 
You sighed. 
“It’s always a bad night.” 
He scratched his chin, eyes traveling from the top of your head to the slip-proof shoes you had to wear. 
“There’s someplace I ought to take you,” he said, eyes taking on a predatory gleam. “You like monsters, right?” 
You blushed, unsure what to say now that your secret wish seemed like it might be coming true. You’d always had a crush on Tyre. He was big and strong with a rakish smile that made all the waitresses swoon. 
“Um…yeah, I guess.”
“Good,” he said, grinning. “You’re off tomorrow night. I saw it on the schedule.” 
You were going to beg for another shift from one of the other waitresses, but if you were only going to make a few bucks, you figured you couldn’t pass up the chance for a date with your crush. 
“Yeah,” you murmured, your breath a gasp. 
He pulled a phone from an apron pocket and handed it to you. 
“Put your address in here. I’ll pick you up. Wear something pretty.” 
Overcome, you could hardly speak, typing your address and phone number into the phone. 
“See you tomorrow night, mite,” he winked before walking back inside. 
The door slam made you jump, but your heart was already pattering. Tyre had finally noticed you! Ever since you’d started that job, you’d been in love with him. It was true. You did like monsters, but not in a weird way. You were curious, but you were too shy ever to ask Tyre any questions about himself. You didn’t want him to think you were a weirdo fetishist trying to get in his pants for a thrill. But finally, he’d noticed you and asked you on a date! 
Despite the lack of money in your pocket, you hopped up from the curb with a pep in your step. Maybe something was finally going right for you for once. 
When you arrived home, you frowned at the yellow notice taped to your door. 
EVICTION NOTICE: VACATE THE PREMISES WITHIN 15 DAYS OR YOU WILL BE REMOVED
Your breath caught in your throat, and you wondered if you should call Tyre and cancel your date. Walking inside, you frowned. Your apartment was small, if you could even call it an apartment. It was only one room with no kitchen or bathroom. You had to use the common toilet down the hall, and you either ate food you brought home from the restaurant or cooked noodles on your hotplate. Still, you couldn’t even afford this little closet. 
Where were you supposed to go? Pulling out the crumpled fifteen dollars, you stuffed it in the large mug with all your tips. You already knew how much was inside. You counted it over and over again every night, hoping it would magically bloom to a higher sum. 
One hundred and fifteen dollars. That’s how much you had to figure out a new home with. While tears bit at your eyes, your feet were exhausted from running around all day, so you flopped on your dipping air mattress and fell asleep. 
You woke to the next morning to your phone buzzing and grinned at the message on the screen. 
“Pick you up at 9.” 
Scooping up the phone, you beamed. As you dropped it on your chest, you indulged yourself in a quick fantasy. You’d go on a date, Tyre would fall madly in love with you, and then you’d move into his flat, have his little gargoyle babies, and everything would turn out just fine. This had to have happened for a reason, right? All afternoon, you skipped around your apartment, trying on your meager array of outfits for just the right one. 
When 9 came around, you sat on the edge of your bed, checking and rechecking the message. 9, he did say 9, right? Right. He’ll be here. 
Thirty minutes later, there was a heavy knock on the door. You tripped over yourself to answer it, eyes lighting up the moment you met the cool blue on the other side. He looked you over, a meaty hand braced against the doorframe, showing off his massive biceps. 
“Look at you, mite,” he said, brushing a curl of hair from your face. “You clean up nice.” 
“Ah, thanks, Tyre. It’s nothing really,” you half whispered, words having a difficult time making themselves past your lips. 
“Come on,” he said, taking you by the arm. “You’re gonna have fun where we’re going.”
“Where are we going?” you asked, from the inside of Tyre’s Denali, as he cruised down a dark alley. 
You had only just realized it was a little late to be going to a restaurant, so where was he taking you? He only smirked at you, eyes glittering in the dim vehicle. 
“You’ll see,” was all he would say. 
You should have been concerned, but the truth was you were down bad. You were about to be evicted, had hardly any friends, and no boyfriend. Your last situationship with a werewolf had been a humiliating disaster. You needed this. He pulled into a parking lot, flashing a black card, and a gate lifted, allowing you inside. 
“Here we are,” he said when he parked, circling the car to help you out. 
When he’d set you on the ground, he frowned for a moment, scrubbing his chin. 
“Let’s’ fix this,” he said, grabbing the tight skirt you were wearing and hiking it up your hips so it was more of a mini skirt. Then he yanked on the neck of your sweater, pushing it down over your shoulders.  
“What? Where are we going?” you asked, getting a little more concerned. 
He only looked at you lazily, reaching a hand down to smudge the makeup at the corner of your eyes more. 
“A private club. Freaky girls like you love this shit,” he assured you, though he was becoming less and less assuring. 
What did he mean by “freaky girls”? You were just a normal girl. You liked reading books and cooking when you had the chance. There was nothing “freaky” about you at all. 
Grabbing your shoulders with his big hands, he shoved you forward through the dark lot. Around you, large, monster-sized, luxury vehicles were parked in neat rows. When you reached an odd metal door, he knocked with his knuckles. A hatch slid open, and bright green eyes peered out. 
“What do you want?” 
They narrowed on Tyre. 
“You’re not welcome here.” 
You gulped, cheeks reddening, looking between the pair of eyes and Tyre. 
“Tell Roth I brought him a new girl,” he said, “Told him I’d pay my debt.” 
The eyes flicked down to you for a moment, and the door squeaked open. 
“Tyre, what is going-?” 
You didn’t get a chance to speak as the large, man with pale skin and green eyes snatched your wrist up and dragged you away from him. 
“Tyre! Tyre!” you half shouted, confused as he jerked you down a dark hall, but looking back, the gargoyle only smiled and waved at you. 
“Stop screaming. You’re disturbing the ambiance,” the man holding you in his firm fist, hissed. 
When he opened his mouth, you could see sharp fangs framing straight white teeth. The rest of your words caught in your throat as he dragged you through the club. 
On a large platform in the center, human women dressed in skimpy outfits danced on stage to oddly alluring music. Where the bright stage lights didn’t shine, you could see monsters of all kinds with human women clinging to them engaged in a frightening variety of sexual activity. 
Three gargoyles were sharing one woman, splayed on a table. A centaur had a woman strapped to him with some sort of harness, and your eyes popped when you saw the way he used her. Your heart started to race as you put two and two together. 
You’d heard about these clubs. Places where well-paying monsters could play around with human women to fulfill their fetish fantasies. Yes, you liked monsters, but you would have never stepped into a place like this, not for all the money in the world! You experienced enough creepy fetishists as a waitress. It seemed the only time anyone offered you any real money was to take you home for a night of their own entertainment. 
Betrayal cut you to the core, remembering Tyre’s words. He’d brought you here to repay a debt! He never had any plan of dating you at all! You were nothing more than a trinket to be traded! 
Panic startled you to your senses, and you started to fight the vampire holding you. 
“LET ME GO! LET ME GO!” you screamed, jerking so hard on your wrist that you thought you might break it. 
He narrowed his eyes at you. 
“Jesus, that bastard. He tricked you to come here, didn’t he?” he hissed, frowning. 
He paused, thinking for a second, and for a moment, you thought he might let you go. 
“Still, I’d better take you to Roth and see what he wants to do with you. Can’t have you running off to the cops and blowing up our whole operation.” 
Clubs like these weren’t exactly legal. Along with the girls, they usually sold drugs and were the sort of place where you could hire a shady person to do below-board jobs.
To silence your screams, and to the amusement of a few of the monsters standing nearby with drinks, he slipped the tie from around his neck and tied it tightly around your head, before he stripped off his belt and used it to secure your hands. Then he flopped you over his broad shoulder, carrying you out of the larger room up a set of stairs. You bit on the gag, desperately trying to saw away at it with your teeth, but it was no use. 
You couldn’t see, bouncing on his shoulder, but you heard a door open, and then you saw it shut. 
“Tyre brought you a girl, boss,” he said. 
Suddenly, he flopped you on the floor, forgetting you were a fragile human. You squealed as you hit the carpet hard, pain radiating up your side. Looking up, you froze in fear. The room was dim, the edges hardly visible, the only light a small lamp on a large wooden desk. Peering past the light, you met the gaze of two glowing, red orbs on the face of a dark body you could hardly make out. All you could tell was that it looked large. 
“Why’s she tied up?” 
The voice was almost a hiss, like silk sheets rubbing together. 
“Tyre tricked her into coming here.” 
The orbs disappeared for a moment, then appeared again along with a long sigh. 
“That idiot.” 
“What do you want me to do with her? Dump her? Put her on the floor? She’s pretty enough. She’ll make us some money.” 
Your heart pounded, as your future was being discussed without you. Dump her? 
“Leave,” the voice barked, sounding irritated. 
You whimpered as you heard the heavy footsteps of the vampire leaving and the door slamming behind him. There was a rustling, and the big body behind the desk grew much larger. It wasn’t a shape you recognized, two large protrusions arching over either side of its head and then two more feathery-looking ones on top. Heavy steps echoed in the quiet room as it rounded the furniture and loomed over you. 
A clawed hand emerged from the darkness, clutching your chin, slowly turning it from side to side as his red eyes examined you. 
“Hmm. A little flame,” he purred. 
You tried to scream again, but all that came out was a muffled whimper. 
The protrusions jumped as the creature chuckled. The monster kneeled down next to you, and only then, you could make out his features, just barely. His neck was thick and fuzzy, as was his body, the angular slabs of muscles softened by a coating of black down. Up close, you could see the two side protrusions were actually silver wings, and the ones on top, were elegant antennae. They twitched as he looked you over. His facial features were invisible behind more black fuzz.
“I’ve been wanting a pet,” he said more to himself than you. 
The red orbs narrowed to slits. 
“Do you know what we do at this club?” he asked. 
You’d gotten a pretty good idea when the vampire gave you the impromptu walk-through. So you nodded. 
His lips cracked, and jagged white teeth glinted at you. 
“Good.” 
Clawed fingers slipped through your hair, scraping your scalp. 
“You’ll be well fed and kept, but you are my pet. Mine.” 
You let out another muffled squeal, shaking your head as tears tumbled down your cheeks. A thumb slid through the wetness before traveling to his red tongue. 
“Mmm,” he said, smirking. “Even your tears are sweet.” 
By that point, you were hyperventilating into your gag, the world getting spinny as you panicked. You’d started your night daydreaming about gargoyle babies, and now you were being adopted as some kind of fuck pet for a monster boss. Your breaths grew increasingly shallow until the darkness writhing at the edges of your vision merged into a large black spot, and the world went silent. 
You jerked awake by the sound of screaming. The stone floor beneath your cheek was cold, so you sat up abruptly, only to awkwardly flop over onto your side. You were still gagged, but now you were bound by your ankles, as well as your wrists. The room you were in was dark except for a small lamp hanging from the ceiling. It put out just enough light to see the large figure of the mothman who’d taken you as his pet and an orc you didn’t recognize. You shrank back against the wall behind you, immediately afraid of what would come next, but their attention wasn’t on you. 
Another scream pierced the air, making you wince. It sounded almost like…Tyre. 
“Please! Please! She came willingly, I swear!” he said, his tone frantic, all the aloof coolness you’d crushed on erased. 
“Did you tell her what we do here before you brought her?” the orc barked.
“She was dying to get her cunt pumped with monster cock. All those girls love that shit,” he spat. “She’s just a whore like the rest of them.” 
“Tyre?” you murmured, but it only came out as a quiet grunt behind the gag. 
Roth nodded at the Orc and you heard chain rattle, then a crunch as he whipped the heavy metal into Tyre’s face. For a moment, you almost felt redeemed. Like Roth might care about your honor, but his next words evaporated that thought. 
“You know I don't like liars, Tyre,” he hissed, his voice still terrifyingly quiet and emotionless. “You brought me a problem. Now I've got to tie up a bunch of loose ends.” 
You were shocked Tyre could still speak, though his words garbled. 
“She's a slut! She wants it! Just ask her! She was ready to open her legs for me for nothing!” 
Tears poured down your cheeks, hearing the gargoyle you'd been shyly admiring for a year now finally revealing what he really thought of you. He was just like your last monster “boyfriend” who’d dumped you when he realized you were more than just a doll to play with. 
One night after hooking up, his phone started going nuts while he was sleeping. Unable to help yourself, you'd glanced at his texts, humiliated to find he'd been detailing his conquest to his packmates. You were just a joke. 
A “monster-cock hungry slut,” in his words. You stupidly let him sleep peacefully through the night, only asking him about it in the morning. You remembered his sharp green eyes full of humor and his disgusting sneer when you'd confronted him. 
“What'd you think this was? You really think a weak little human like you is good for anything but a quick fuck? Don’t fool yourself. You wanted my knot like a dirty little bitch in heat and I gave it to you. End of story.” 
You broke into big, ugly, wet sobs as your whole world collapsed around you. Your body shuddered against the gritty cold floor, tears forming dark spots on the surface. 
Across the room Roth’s antenna twitched. He gave the orc a look before crossing the room to crouch down next to you. He dug a thick hand into your hair, lifting your head. Your tears blurred his glowing eyes to wobbly blobs. 
“You're crying for him? Is he telling the truth? Are we wrong to punish him?” 
You sniffed, whimpering and shook your head. He dropped your hair abruptly, the gesture suddenly becoming something close to comfort. He patted your head a little stiffly as if he wasn't sure what to do with you. 
You watched him blink, looking away for a moment before he scooped you up, curling his wings around the two of you. He carried you back across the room, turning your face into his soft chest before he spoke. 
“I want his teeth when you're done with him,” he hissed at the Orc. 
Tyre begged behind you, his voice brassy.
“She's lying! That bitch is lying!” 
Roth didn't even flinch, striding confidently out of the room. As he carried you down a dark hall you heard screams following you until they finally faded. 
Roth walked slowly up a long staircase until he reached an elevator. It occurred to you, every room you’d been in was dim, this elevator included, just light enough for someone with average eyesight not to trip over themselves. 
Your stomach dropped as the elevator ascended, finally letting out an echoing DING when it reached the desired floor. 
He stepped forward and you peeked out from behind his wing. 
You were in a beautiful, but dark penthouse. Through the wall to wall windows you could see the stars of the night sky twinkling through. The furnishings were expensive, all black and chrome. 
“Welcome home,” the mothman said, his voice ever soft. 
He set you down on a black couch and you flinched as he crouched in front of you. His long nails picked at the knots binding your wrists and ankles until they were free. 
The moment your limbs were your own again, you slid to the opposite side of the couch, frantically untangling the gag. 
“Let me go!” were the first words that bubbled out of your lips. 
Roth’s blood eyes narrowed at you. It was unnerving you couldn't really read his expression, his facial features obscured by dark fur. 
“Go where?” he asked, calmly, his head tipped to the side. “I had my associates look into you. (Y/N), broke waitress, evicted…where will you go?” 
Your cheeks burned that he knew so much about you. 
“I don't know. Not here. Not a pet.” 
“You'll live better here as a pet than on the street as a stray.” 
You blinked and he was a few feet closer to you, stretching his long fingers out to drag a knuckle down your cheek. 
“No matter. I'm not letting you go.” 
You snorted. 
“Until you get bored with me and toss me out again.” 
His eyes became narrow slits. 
“Did someone throw you out, (Y/N)?” 
Your eyes burned into his, heavy with rage. This was just the cherry on your monster loving cake wasn't it? At least, he was honest and called you what you were to him. A toy. A pet. An object to break and throw away. 
“It doesn't matter. You're all the same.” 
You heard a hiss and then his claws pricked your cheeks, pinching your face. Bright eyes filled your vision. 
“Are we?” He asked. 
Your confidence faltered and you swallowed a lump in your throat. 
“You own a human fetish club. Explain to me how I'm wrong. You see us as weak objects to be passed around.”  
He bared his sharp teeth at you. 
“You will not be passed around. You. Are. Mine.” 
You drew your legs underneath your chin, glaring at him, but winced as a sharp pain shot through you. 
“Ouch!” 
His eyes widened and his fingers left your cheeks, clawing at the tight skirt you still wore. You tried to wiggle away, but his wing boxed you in so he could glide a thumb over your bare skin. It seemed impossible he could see anything in such a dark room, but he growled at the painful spot on your hip where you'd landed when the vampire dropped you. 
“Don't!” you hissed, jerking your skirt down. 
You watched his eyes open and shut, before he stood. 
“Damian!” he said so softly, you weren't sure who he was talking to.  
You jumped as an elegant Naga appeared, wiping his hands with a towel. 
“You called, sir?” He asked his yellow eyes drifting to you only for a moment before they returned to Roth. 
“Bring Vince. Make her some food.”  
The Naga nodded sharply and disappeared. 
He sat next to you on the couch, stretching his wings slowly and resting his forearms on the tops of his legs. Seeing him closely, now, you could see he was tall with broad shoulders, not including his massive wingspan. 
“The girls I employ want to be here,” he said, turning his face to you. “They get paid well and they enjoy their work.” 
“Is that your pitch?” you sneered. 
He flashed his teeth, chuckling. 
“No, you won't be working the floor, but you should know the facts,” he said. “Tyre broke a pact bringing you here. I don't kidnap humans.” 
“Except me.” 
“You're a unique situation.” 
“I won't tell anyone if you let me go,” you promised. 
He was hard to read, but you got the impression he was examining you. 
“I'm not letting you go. I want you.” 
“What the fuck does that mean?” You blurted, your heart starting to race again. 
Roth didn't have to answer as the elevator dinged and the vampire from before stepped out. 
“You hurt her. Apologize.” 
Vince’s eyes found you and his eyebrows rose. Giving the mothman a contrite glance, he crossed the room, bending down to one knee in front of you and dipping his head. 
“Apologies, miss, I was too rough with you. It won't happen again.”  
“Good. Get back to work,” Roth said, tone blunt. 
“Have a pleasant evening, miss.” 
Vince stood and winked at you with a little smirk, before he boarded the elevator again and disappeared. 
“Come here, you need to eat,” Roth said, gesturing for you to follow him. 
You wanted to say no, but you hadn't eaten, expecting a quiet dinner with Tyre so you slowly got to your feet and crept after him. 
In the dining room Damian had set the table with a little flickering candle and red roses. Roth politely pulled out your seat for you, encouraging you to sit down. Though you were hungry, you glared at the food in front of you as he took his own seat. 
“Something wrong?” he asked placing a napkin in his lap. 
“How do I know you haven’t drugged this?” 
“Why would I?” 
You blinked at him, opening and closing your mouth as you thought of what accusations to spew. 
“I don’t know! So you can have your way with me or whatever!” 
Though you couldn’t see his lips, a triangle of teeth appeared as if he were smirking. 
“I don’t need to drug your food to do that. Personally, I would rather my lover be conscious when I have her.” 
You crossed your arms. 
“How many lovers have you had?” 
He snorted, picking up his knife and carefully cutting his meat into little cubes. 
“That’s a rather personal question little flame,” he said, before sticking a bit of meat in his mouth and chewing. “What would you say if I asked you the same thing?” 
Your cheeks burned, realizing it was a very rude question. His low, scratchy voice drove you insane. Every word he spoke was soft, deliberate, and calm. None of your fussing seemed to move him, much. Unsure what else to say, you turned your attention to your food. The first bite was apprehensive, but after you’d swallowed that, your hunger took over and you quickly consumed the rest. 
“Damian is a good cook,” you commented. 
“I can tell he’s happy to have someone new to cook for,” he said, scooting a vegetable out of the way with his fork. “I usually have the same thing every night but this is new.” 
Your cheeks burned that he’d made such an effort, but with nothing left on your plate, you weren’t sure what to do next. 
“Come with me,” he said rising. 
You narrowed your eyes on the vegetables he’d left behind, only eating the meat, but followed him out of the room. 
The penthouse was large and airy, the atmosphere perfumed with rows of night blooming flowers arranged in planters outside of the open glass doors. 
“You keep the doors open?” you asked. 
“Though I enjoy my luxuries, my people rested in trees for thousands of years. I like to feel the breeze,” he explained. “Don’t be concerned. You are very safe here. I have security posted everywhere.” 
Your eyes jumped to your forehead hearing that. 
“Are you often under attack?” 
“My business is a dangerous one, but I’ve been at it for many years. You are safe. This is our room.” 
He opened a heavy door and led you into a sumptuous bedroom. A four poster bed sat at the center with silver chiffon curtains fluttering in the breeze flowing in through the open balcony doors. Moonflowers and datura swayed on an arbor framing the entrance, the moon hanging in the center. It’s blue light cast a silver glow over the plush white chairs and vanity. 
“Our room?” you gulped. “I have to sleep with you?” 
He chuckled. 
“I don’t sleep on a bed, usually,” he said. “My kind sleep upright on a perch. The bed is for your comfort.” 
You shuddered, a dark thought passing through your head. 
“H-how…how did you know you would need that?” 
In the darkness, you followed his red eyes. 
“Damian brought it up while you were resting.” 
You wrinkled your nose. Collapsed from panic on a hard stone floor while he tortured Tyre was hardly resting. He suddenly turned to you, grabbing you by your waist and placing you gently on the bed. 
“W-what are you doing?” you mewled as his claws curled around the edge of your skirt, scooting it further up your thigh. 
He pinned you with a glance, before turning his attention to the bedside table and extracting a little pot. Opening it, he scooped some gel from inside and carefully smoothed it over the darkened bit of skin where a bruise was forming. It tingled, easing the slight ache. 
His eyes lingered on the patch of skin, before his claws split the fabric. 
“Stop! Stop it!” you screeched, trying to push him away with your smaller hands. 
It was only then you really understood how strong he really was. He didn’t budge, but captured your wrists in a hand while the other shredded your sweater. 
“I’ll buy you better clothes,” he assured you when you were sitting underneath him in only your underwear. 
You regretted wearing your skimpiest pair, as you’d planned on seducing Tyre with them. Now you felt naked and vulnerable, the red light of Roth’s eyes outlining your curves. 
He swallowed, heavily, making a small grunt in the back of his throat before he released you and stood. 
“Sleep.” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “The sun is rising.” 
Peering past him, you could see the sky getting ever so slightly lighter. He pressed a button and heavy blackout blinds lowered automatically. The sliding door slid shut, making the room pitch black except for Roth’s eyes still shining in the dark. 
You let out a yip as his wings fluttered, stirring the air in the room and he delicately perched on the rail at the end of the bed. 
“Are you going to watch me sleep all day?” you barked, crossing your arms.
“Yes.” 
You sputtered your displeasure, but weren’t sure what to say. Hurriedly scooting under the coverlet, without meaning to you let out a satisfied hiss as you sank into the bed. Having slept on a droopy air mattress for many years, this bed felt like you were nestled in clouds. As much as you would have liked to stay awake, glaring at Roth until he went away, your eyes slid shut and you drifted off. 
“Miss, miss,” you heard a voice in your ear. 
You pried your eyes open, taking a moment to remember where you were. Sitting up suddenly, you were met with Damian’s yellow gaze. 
“Time to wake up,” he said, “I have breakfast for you in the dining room.” 
You blinked, realizing you could see him fairly well, and glanced at the windows to see the blackout blinds had been lifted and the sun was well on it’s way below the horizon. 
“But it’s evening,” you muttered. 
He smirked, slithering around you to open a door and then another. 
“We operate on the boss’s clock here. Mothmen like the dark, they don’t see to well in the sunlight. Here, this is the bathroom and the closet is here. I spent the afternoon purchasing you some new clothes, but if you’d like something else, just tell me.” 
“Oh, um…okay.” 
Damian gave you a slight bow and slid out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Taking a breath, you climbed out of the coverlet, first examining the balcony. Standing just in the doorway, since you were still dressed in lingerie, you could see the whole city spread out before you, streetlights flicking on one by one as the sun set. 
On the deck, along with the flowers, was a swinging chair and a small fish pond. You watched the white finned fish swimming in lazy circles  below a few lotus flowers before you went back inside. 
Poking your head in the bathroom, you found it was quite luxurious and to your surprise when you flicked the switch a real light turned on, not the dimmed bulbs everywhere else. Damian, you guessed, had stocked it with a fresh electric toothbrush and all the essentials. Oddly, there were either the exact products you had in your bathroom or the not value brand versions. Instead of the face cream you used, there was a high end cream you’d always dreamed of buying. The same with the makeup, hair supplies, and soaps. Satisfied you had what you needed, you crept into the closet. 
It was one of those fancy closets, you’d seen in magazines with clothes arranged by color and an island in the center full of shelves holding jewelry, scarves, shoes, and-
A sharp scream burst from your lips. 
Damian appeared in the doorway, out of breath as if he’d been slithering at top speed. 
“What’s wrong?” he gasped. 
You pointed a shaking finger at what was a multi compartment jewelrybox, but instead of jewels inside there were carefully arranged, polished, teeth. Hundreds of teeth. 
“What the fuck is that?” you squealed, jumping behind Damian’s body as if he could shield you from them. 
He let out a sharp breath, looking relieved. 
“Heavens, I thought something was wrong,” he sighed. 
Your eyes darted between him and the box of teeth. 
“There IS something wrong! What the fuck?” 
“That’s the boss’s collection,” he said. 
“D-do those teeth come from people?” you whispered. “Are they real?” 
Damian nodded as if that was the most perfectly normal thing in the world. 
“He likes to collect the teeth of his enemies. It’s some mothman cultural thing. It’s kind of neat if you take a good look at them. There are specimens from several species.” 
“He keeps them in his closet?” 
“Where else would he keep them?”
You felt light headed and slumped against the vanity sitting just by the closet door. Were Tyre’s teeth already part of the collection?
“It’s part of his culture, (Y/N),” he said. “Children in your culture put their teeth under their pillow for their parent’s to collect. Think of it that way.”
You shook your head, rubbing your eyes. 
“Please, please stop. I don’t want to hear any more.” 
“Is anything else the matter? Do you like your clothes?” he asked pleasantly. 
“I-I didn’t get a chance to look.” 
Damian nodded and slipped into the closet, returning with a handful of items. 
“Why not wear this outfit,” he said. “I saw it on a Pinterest board and I think it will suit your figure.” 
“Er…thanks,” you said, taking the pile as he slipped out of the room so you could dress. 
You took a long shower, trying to clear your mind of the teeth cache you’d stumbled across. When it was finally time to put on clothes, you had to admit, the outfit Damian had chosen was quite stylish, though you looked a bit like a mafia wife with a diamond tennis necklace around your neck and matching bracelets on your wrist. 
You crept down the hall to the dining room to find Roth waiting on you, surrounded by paperwork. You yelped when to his side you saw another monster you recognized handcuffed and gagged on his knees next to him. His nose was bloody and one eye was swollen. 
“What the- Elijah…what?”
Roth’s eyes rose to you, lingering for a moment before he gestured towards your breakfast. 
“Eat, your food is getting cold,” he murmured, turning his attention back to whatever he was working on as if the monster by his calf wasn’t eyeing you for help. 
You hardly noticed if the fluffy pancakes Damian had provided were good or not, because you were trying to sort out what the monster “boyfriend” who’d jilted you a year ago was doing handcuffed in the dining room. It was hard to know where to look and words escaped you as your mind spun with messy thoughts. 
Halfway through your meal, Roth gathered his stack of papers and tapped them on the desk to straighten them before he spoke. 
“Now that that’s all done,” he said. “Time to other business.” 
He stood, dragging Elijah by his collar along the table to you, leaning on it casually as if everything about this wasn’t very, very illegal. 
“What would you like me to do with this one?” he asked, a clawed hand slipping through your freshly washed hair. 
You stared up at him for a moment, a bite of pancake still half chewed in your mouth before you swallowed it hard. Your mind’s eye immediately went to the tooth collection in the closet. 
“Um…I don’t know? What do you mean ‘do with him?’” 
Elijah whimpered loudly, begging for mercy. 
Roth’s eyes narrowed and he kicked him sharply to get him to sit still. 
“Well, I can give him to my boys and have his teeth extracted or you can keep him around the club polishing the girl’s shoes if it makes you feel any better. They make a game of bullying miscreants. I’ll only take his fangs and claws if you’d like to show him mercy. But he’s not getting away without a punishment.” 
He grabbed the werewolf, by the neck, his red eyes reflecting in Elijah’s green. 
“Monsters like you make me sick. I ought to take your balls.”
He pried his lips apart, his thumb running over a fang. Though Roth’s voice was low, it was thick with a terrifying cruelty. 
“All that power, all the gifts you’ve been given and you use them to trick the ones smaller than you. You could have had a willing human woman on her knees in front of you playing whatever games you like, but you get off on torturing the sweet ones.” 
Elijah’s eyes were wide, full of terror. They flicked to you, begging for forgiveness. 
“I don’t want you to kill him,” you said, your voice thin. 
Roth looked up at you and tipped his head to the side. 
“Pity.” 
His eyes flicked down to his captive. 
“I suppose you have a new job, hm?” 
He narrowed his eyes again, head dipping down so he was close to Elijah’s snout. 
“(Y/N) is very kind. I am not. If you get into trouble, I’ll take what’s left of your teeth and dump the rest of you in a ditch. Understand?” 
Vince appeared from the shadows making you jump and dragged Elijah out. 
“Have fun with the girls!” he called after him. 
“Was that really necessary?” you asked, glaring at Roth. “Yes, he broke my heart, but his fangs? His claws? Threatening to kill him?” 
Roth slipped a knuckle under your chin, his eyes arcing in what must have been a smile. 
“My job is not easy and my world is not kind. Strength and cruelty are sometimes required to take care of the ones who can’t help themselves. That’s the way things are.” 
You huffed. 
“You’re horrible.” 
Fangs flashed in the dimming purple light streaming in through the window behind you. 
“I’ll happily be horrible so you can always stay sweet. My methods may be unappetizing, but it’s worth is to see the truth reflected in your eyes. You deserve to feel justice.” 
He leaned towards you, searching your gaze. 
“And even if you won’t admit it, I can see that you do.”
Your eyebrows jumped and your ears burned. 
“H-how did you even know about him?” 
“I went through your text messages.” 
“You have my phone? Give it to me!” 
He shook his head. 
“You haven’t properly settled in yet. I’ll give you a new one when you’ve come to accept your place here.” 
“What is that supposed to mean?” 
“You’ll soon get used to it. Come on.” 
He beckoned you to get up, leading you towards the elevator. 
“I have a use for you,” he said. 
You flinched, narrowing your eyes at him as your heart tightened in your chest. 
“What use?” 
“The girls always have things they need. Some new brand of makeup comes out or melting spray, whatever that means. I have no idea, but I’m sure you do. Can you handle a budget?” 
You nodded, more curious now that your “use” wasn’t anything alarming. 
“All you have to do is receive their requests and figure out what we can afford to buy every month, what’s most important and all that. Then hand over your report and I’ll have one of the guys deal with the order. Simple enough?” 
“Sure,” you agreed. 
He patted you on the head and you peered up at him, trying to read his expression as the two of you landed on the first floor. The club was empty this early in the evening, except you could hear the titter of women through one of the doors that led to the back. A cyclops was restocking the bar, slicing limes and he nodded to you politely when you met his gaze. 
Without writhing bodies, you could see that it was a very pretty place. Tufted benches in Navy blue velvet formed curved shapes housing glossy hardwood tables. The walls appeared to be some kind of fabric with an elaborate swag curtain arrangement softening the corners. The bar was a slick snake-like shape running along one wall, the liquor bottles lined up to the ceiling lit up by gold light. 
A woman with bright pink hair came rushing through a side hallway, looking in her purse for something, almost slamming right into you. 
“Oh sorry!” she squeaked, looking up. 
Her eyes widened at you, then looked to Roth. 
“New girlfriend, boss?” she asked, a sly smile growing on her face. 
Glancing up at him, you couldn’t tell behind his black fuzz, but you almost thought he might be blushing. 
“I’m Candy,” she beamed, shaking your hand. 
Roth waved at you. 
“(Y/N) will be taking your supply requests from now on,” he explained and she narrowed her eyes at him. 
“You’re putting your girlfriend to work?” she pouted, slipping an arm around yours and pulling you close. “Shame on you! You ought to spoil this rare blessing! You’ve been waiting long enough, haven’t you? You’re going to chase her away if you work her to the bone!” 
“Candy!” he growled, obviously a little annoyed, but she just waved him away. 
“Mr. Roth acts tough, but he’s got a gooey center,” she said, her bright eyes filled with mischief. “You’d better take him for all he’s worth! He’s been wanting a girlfriend for as long as anyone can remember, but never could find the right one.”
She winked at you. 
“The girls and I like variety but Mr. Roth is so sentimental he can’t stand the idea of sharing. He’s always wanted one little flower to spoil. It’s so cute. You’re his first girlfriend, you know. He’s never brought another woman here. We would know if he did.” 
“Oh!” you said, glancing back up to him. 
You were sure he was blushing now, though you couldn’t see it. 
“Jesus,” Roth grumbled, hiding his face with a clawed hand. “Aren’t you running late, Candy?” 
She grinned. 
“I can’t wait to tell the girls about this!” she chirped before she smooched you on the cheek and ran off. 
Roth sighed, looking at you for a moment, before a thumb rose to your cheek and he rubbed away Candy’s lipstick. 
“Don’t listen to her,” he grunted, turning quickly and leading you to his office. “The girls pretty much run this place and they get silly ideas in their heads. Meddlers, all of them.” 
“I am I really your first girlfriend?” you asked his back as he walked into his office. “I’m not really your girlfriend, though. You said I was your pet.” 
He plopped down at his desk, waving you over. 
“It doesn’t matter what I call you,” he griped, grabbing you by your hips and setting you on his desk. “You’re mine.” 
Your head tipped to the side. 
“Why haven’t you had a girlfriend before? You’re rich and powerful. Don’t women fall all over you?” 
He leaned back in his chair, letting out a tight breath. 
“My kind mate once, for life,” he explained. “It’s very…serious. Most women don’t like that sort of…intensity hanging over their heads from the start.” 
Your eyes widened, watching the stiff personality he’d been so carefully trying to cultivate melt in front of you. 
“So you haven’t had any other lovers?” you asked. 
He fiddled with the hem of your skirt, refusing to answer. 
“Is that why you’re so hard on sleazy monsters?” 
At that his eyes lifted to meet yours, and his thumb absently slipped over your thigh.
“Being so crass and careless is a sacrilege among my people. Breaking a soul who might be someone’s sacred mate is considered a crime punishable by death.” 
You looked down at your fingers, suddenly feeling an ache in your chest. It should have been a relief, not a pain. He would get bored and let you go someday. Now you knew that for certain. 
“Am I just a placeholder until your real mate comes along?” you whispered, the words slipping past your lips, though you tried so hard to keep them in.  
He chuckled, lowering his head to fill your vision with his bright eyes. 
“I just told you. We mate to one person only. I wouldn’t have brought you to my bedroom if I intended to have someone else.” 
“Why didn’t you just say that? Why be so distant? You scared me. If you’d wanted to mate me, holding me against my will is not exactly how to start a relationship.” 
At that his eyes avoided yours. 
“Like I said…women tend to run when they find out we mate for life. Humans aren’t like us. Your kind have lots of different partners and you break partnerships when they no longer suit you. If I don't force you to stay with me, you might leave."  
You had no idea what possessed you, but you placed a hand on his cheek and pulled his face towards you, forcing him to meet your gaze. Your fingertips sank into the soft fuzz and you liked the way it tickled your skin. 
“Not all of us,” you whispered. “Some of us just want one person we can be with forever.” 
“Is that what you want?” he asked. 
The words left your lips on a silvery note. 
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 
He pulled you into his lap, curling his wings around the two of you. 
“I can give you that, if you let me.” 
A light giggle filled the little space for just the two of you. 
“I suppose I don’t have much of a choice,” you tittered. “You don’t plan on letting me leave.”
“No,” he murmured. “But if you stayed because you wanted to it would mean a lot to me. It’s okay if you don’t feel it now. I’ll spend our lifetimes trying to convince you.” 
Your head tipped against his soft chest, feeling a strange giddiness a lady shouldn’t feel towards her kidnapper, especially one who had a large collection of the teeth of the people he’d murdered in his closet. 
You were fairly certain monsters had driven you to madness. None of your dramatically swaying feelings made any sense… but your “enemies” had been defeated, you’d had the best sleep you’d had in a long time in a big comfy bed, and you were wearing half a million dollars in diamonds. Objectively, your quality of life had wildly improved from the day before when you were sitting on a dirty curb clutching fifteen dollars. 
For the first time, you felt his soft lips against your forehead and your head tipped up, following them. When you pressed yours against his, you felt a shudder roll through his chest, making your skin tingle. His clawed hands slipped into your hair, holding your head in place while he explored. 
You felt his breath fanning your face, panting into your kiss and underneath your fingertips his heart raced, causing yours to skip as well. An arm reached behind you and you heard sundry items clatter on the floor as he laid you out on his desk. 
His tongue explored your mouth, tasting like cinnamon, as his fingers clutched your cheek. Fear and anticipation muddled your thoughts. Part of you was still unsure, but the other part knew it was too late for doubts. Your body was ready to surrender, panties damp and thighs sticky. 
You gasped underneath him, his wings forming a silvery cave tinted with the glow from his red eyes. You ran your fingers through the soft feathers and felt him shudder with appreciation. Notching his body between your legs, he pulled only an inch away, looking at you. 
“I will keep you no matter what, but this I will not take without permission,” he murmured. “Just know, if you accept me. I won’t tolerate competition. I’ll murder anyone who dares to touch you and take their teeth.” 
Your cheeks burned, blinking at him through a heady veil of pleasure, his scent carrying notes of the moonflowers decorating his home. This was the key moment. You could refuse him and go back to being his reluctant captive…or you could become his. 
“Okay,” you whispered, your heart answering the question before your still unsure mind. “I…ah…I accept you.” 
His lips covered yours again as he let out a needy grunt, this kiss more desperate and claiming. You felt the prick of his sharp teeth as yours slid against his, the thrill of danger sending lightening bolts up your spine. You could feel the strength in his fingers as they moved over you and the weight of his body as he pressed you into the desk. 
His claws curled around the neck of your blouse and he jerked ito down, exposing the tender breasts perched in your bra. You dragged in a heavy breath tasting oddly like cinnamon, the small space under his wings suddenly feeling thick with the scent. 
Your body grew hot and sensitive, each brush off his soft fuzz making your skin tingle wildly. You suddenly felt light headed and needy, your mouth watering at the taste of his tongue. 
“W-what’s happening?” you gasped when he pulled back to press kisses into your neck. “I feel hot…” 
His hands cupped your breast as you felt his lips agonizingly brush your sensitive skin as he spoke. 
“My pheromones are binding you to me,” he hummed and your heart skipped a beat. 
“What?” you hummed, pushing your breasts into his big hands for more pressure. 
“My pheromones are designed to make mating more pleasurable…to make me irresistible to you.” 
You gasped, but your mind was getting ever hazier as the scent wound around you. Your hips bucked into his stomach, begging for what you wanted. 
“Not yet,” he purred, pulling a tender nipple into his mouth. Colors exploded behind your eyelids, feeling more pleasure flood your system than you’d ever experienced before. 
You’d had enough lovers and a few good orgasms, but this blew that all out of the water like a nuclear bomb and you hadn’t even cum yet. Your back arched and you screamed as his long, agile tongue curled around your nipple. 
The slight prick of his claws bit your skin as his fingers played with the other one, alternating between teasing plucks and firm rolls. The small panties you wore were soaked through and your thighs ground against his hips for more friction. Every inch of skin felt as sensitive as your clit, the fuzz all over his body feeling maddeningly good against it. Your fingertips dug into the thick collar of fur around his neck, wanting to just rub him all over you. 
He let our pleased hums as grunts as your fingers couldn’t decide where they wanted to be, one moment clutching his neck, then his head, then scratching at this chest. The room filled with your desperate mewls, begging him in slurred words for his cock. 
“That’s right,” he murmured on a smug chuckle. “You’re all mine, little flame. Only I can give you what you need.” 
His kisses trailed down your stomach, his soft, delicate antennae caressing your skin as he moved lower. Claws shoved your skirt off your hips, exposing your panties to him and his long tongue slid up and down your slit. You heard the sound of tearing fabric and then his breath on your sensitive lips. His tongue dipped inside of you and you suddenly understood the actual length of it, easily filling your weeping pussy.  
“Roth!” you gasped, fingers looking for something to clutch and finding a few odd feathers to wrap in your grip. 
You heard him hum as he licked you up, making your eyes cross as the vibration drew a blooming orgasm from your core. Whimpering, with tears streaming down your cheeks you felt the agile appendage lapping up your juices, while his thumb found your clit. 
He circled it slowly, making your thighs tense so tightly you thought you might pop. Pleasure zapped you like a lightening bolt, the electricity lighting up every nerve until your whole body felt like it was cumming all at once. Your head dropped to the side, drool leaking over your cheek as your eyes rolled back in your head. 
You weren’t sure you could take much more. Making love had never been like this. Your mind couldn’t process what his pheromones were doing to you. 
Finally, Roth couldn’t hold back anymore, standing so he loomed over you, only his red eyes visible in the darkness. His fingers slipped past your open lips, holding you you in place as you felt his thick shaft investigate your pussy. It felt a little strange, your skin so sensitive it could make out every detail. Though velvety skin still covered it’s girth, the head was more elongated than a humans, ending at a slightly sharper angle with a pronounced ridge bisecting it. Smooth bumps formed a line running vertically along the shaft and something…or some things grasped your thighs like little fingers, holding them open. Your confusion as what was holding your legs apart melted away when he snapped his hips and his cock entered you.
A ragged roar filled your ears as he bottomed out inside of your channel. You could tell by the way the fingers in your mouth flexed, he was doing his best to hold back, not to hurt you. He was still for a moment, as he gathered his resolve, but you had other ideas, sucking on his fingers lewdly, your wet tongue tracing his claws. 
He bent down on top of you, fingers fleeing your hot mouth and wrapping around your neck. 
“Naughty girl,” he gasped as you bucked your hips, the little nubs lining his shaft making you whimper. 
You could hardly see him, but you knew he could see you and you were getting annoyed with him trying to be gentle. Pulling your tits out of your bra, you kneaded them shamelessly, pressing the flesh against the arm holding your throat and arching your back so he couldn’t avoid the dirty show. 
You couldn’t hold back your victorious smirk as he let out a hungry growl and his hips started to batter your soft flesh. His eyes disappeared into the darkness as instinct overtook him, rutting you wildly. Strong fingers tightened on your throat, only ratcheting up the spice swirling through every limb like a savage tornado. 
Drowning in pure bliss, hot tears poured down your cheeks, your body jerking underneath his as he pounded into you. Nonsense poured from your lips, rational thought swept away in the storm. When the sensation reached it’s peak you felt like your body might shatter into a million pieces and you welcomed the oblivion that overtook you. Body shuddering violently as you fell over the edge. 
Your wet, needy cunt, clamping down on Roth’s cock so suddenly made his body respond in the way it was designed. His shaft suddenly inflated to twice it’s original girth, stretching you decadently before he cursed and you felt ropes of searing cum splash against your sucking walls. 
You could hear heavy panting and it took you a moment to realize it was your own breath. Roth let out a long, groaning sigh, his body slumping on top of yours, only stopped by a strong arm bracing the desk. 
His bright red eyes returned, looking somehow more entrancing than before. Everything about him seemed…more. His cinnamon, flower laced scent stuck to you and his soft fur felt luxurious. Even the sound of his ragged breaths tickled your ears in a sumptuous way. 
“You’re…different,” you muttered, brain having trouble putting words together. 
He let go of your throat, a thumb brushing your bottom lip as his hand clutched your cheek. 
“My pheramones have soaked into your body,” he purred. “You’re mine now. I’ve marked you.” 
“Oh,” you hummed, eyes slipping shut, as you felt the aftershocks of your love making roll over you. 
Whatever little claspers were holding your legs retreated and as his cock slipped out of you, cum and slick splashed on the wood floor. 
He scooped you into his arms, pulling you into his lap as he peppered soft kisses on your forehead. 
“Are you okay?” he asked, fingers, absently stroking your hair. 
“Mhmm,” you hummed. “Will it always be like that…now that you’ve marked me?” 
“Yes,” he said, twirling a bit of hair around his finger. “Now that we’re bonded…I can’t control my pheremones. They…have a bit of a mind of their own and their purpose now is to reinforce the bond.” 
A knock at the door sobered you a bit as you tugged your shirt back up to cover your boobs. 
“Who is it?” he called, still so quiet you weren’t sure how anyone heard him. 
“Vince,” said the vampire on the other side of the door.
“Is it an emergency?” 
“No.” 
“Go away.” 
“Got it, boss.” 
He tucked the bit of hair he was twirling behind your ear and smiled. 
“Do you want a snack?” 
Your eyes met his with all of the earnestness in the world. 
“Yes. I would love that!” 
He pulled out his phone and texted someone before setting you back on his desk and leaning back in his chair, looking deeply satisfied and proud of himself. You flopped over on your stomach, kicking your heels in the air and resting your chin on your arm. 
“Do we have to work now?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him. 
He looked at you for a moment before answering. 
“No…What do you want to do?” 
“I kind of want to get to know you a little better…Since I’m bonded to you or whatever.” 
“Okay,” he said, stretching his arms behind his head. “What do you want to know first?” 
You blinked at him. 
“Why do you have hundreds of teeth in your closet?” 
821 notes · View notes
danikamariewrites · 6 months
Text
Just This Once...Right?
Rhyssian x reader
A/n: Happy @polyacotarweek day 5! I love seeing everyone's favorite tropes. My favorite trope is one bed and having the mating bond snap for one person and not the others then when it's revealed evryone is happy. I'm not sure what we call that one but enjoy :)
Warnings: some angst
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“The High Lord does apologize for not being here to greet you this evening,” Helion’s assistant, Lana, said as apologetically as she could. The female had no time for bullshit which included small talk and you admired her for that. 
As she led you through the guest wing you looked around at the gold decor. The suns adorning the cream marble on the walls with paintings of Helion’s choosing. You wish you could talk to your friend right now. In desperate need of his advice. Lana’s commanding tone brought you back to the current conversation. “Unfortunately in the suite we have you in is one bedroom. The palace is under renovations, as you noted Rhysand.” She said dryly.
Your High Lord playfully rolled his eyes at her. “Were my comments not of the complimentary variety?” Lana let out a disapproving hum. As she opened the door to the guest wing you were greeted with a brightly decorated room. Soft yellows and cream, fluffy furniture accentuated by the golden sunlight coming through the floor to ceiling windows. Flowers that only thrived in Day Court soil in porcelin vases atop tables. 
As you explored the room you didn’t hear the rest of the conversation until another fae from Helion’s court came to get Lana. “One last thing before I leave you,” Lana noted absentmindedly as she looked over some documents, “There’s only one bedroom currently so I will leave you three to figure that out.” 
Before any of you could say anything Lana was closing the door behind her. You did your best to keep your heart rate down so Rhys and Cassian wouldn’t hear it. Throwing a glamour around you so they wouldn’t scent your fear and anxiety. “I’m going to go unpack,” you get out quickly, locking yourself in the bedroom. Your bags were stacked at the end of the bed. The single bed you noted. 
Fantastic. 
One bed and three of you. 
It’s not like you didn’t want to share a bed with Rhys and Cass. That’s all you wanted, to be near them. To be held by them. As you unpacked you thought back to last week and why you’ve been avoiding the males out in the parlor. 
You and Rhysand were walking around Velaris after a nice lunch. The sun shining and a nice breeze was coming off the Sidra. As you looked up at him you couldn’t help but let your love for him cloud your mind. He’s so perfect. You need to get over yourself and confess your crush on Rhys. The two of you have been toeing the line of friends and something more for years now. 
The High Lord looked down at you, those sapphire eyes sparkling in the sun make your breath catch in your throat. You saw his mouth move but didn’t register what he was saying. Something inside you was singing. Glowing. 
A string wrapping snugly around one of your ribs anchored to Rhys. The bond. Something you’ve waited for all your life had finally happened. Rhys leaned dow to peck your cheek as he whispered, “I’ll see you later for dinner.” He smiled, walking off to meet with the governors. Frozen in place all you could do was wave at him. Your mind racing. 
Squealing excitedly, you race back to the Town House. Tearing through the kitchen you gathered ingreidentes to make Rhys’s favorite cake red velvet cake. 
You were so focused on getting everything together you didn’t hear Cassian come in. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush to his chest swaying you back and forth. A small yelp leaves your lips, causing Cassian to giggle. “Hey sweets, whatch ya makin’?” Turning to face Cass you give him a dazzling smile. “Can you keep a secret?” Cassian returns your bright smile with a nod. Using one large hand Cass squeezes your cheeks, “Tell me sweets, what’s goin on?” 
The words and excitement died on your tonuge. That glowing feeling you had just felt with Rhys you were now feeling with Cassian. Another golden thread anchored to another male. How could this be? 
The blood rushed from your face. How are you going to tell them? This bond would tear them apart. You would love nothing more than to not have to choose between the two males. Would they make you choose? No, you won’t put them in that position. 
“Sweetheart?” Cassian prods. “Uh, nothing. Just thought I’d make dessert for tonight.” You said flatly. Without a second glance you turn back to your ingredients, moving slower than you had before. Cassian didn't pry further after sensing your mood. After dinner you had went straight to bed not wanting to hang around with this massive weight on your chest.
Now, a week later, you had completly forgotten about the trip to the Day Court that you couldn't back out of. As an emissary and Rhys's third you just had to suck it up. It was only a few days. You could be normal about this.
A soft knock sounds over your aggressive slam of the dresser drawer. Cassian poked his head in as you pulled your black silk nightgown on. "Hey sweetheart, can we come in?" You hum in answer as you stride over to the bed.
You curl up against the headboard facing the males. Rhys sits in front of you while Cassian makes himself comfortable next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You tense under his touch but Cass doesn't let up. Keeping you as close as you'll let him.
"We're concered, darling. You've been distant with us." Rhys reached out his hand to gently rub your leg. "We just want to fix what we did wrong, y/n. Please talk to us." Cassian rests his head atop yours.
Closing your eyes you felt a lump forming in your throat. If you opened your mouth nothing would come out but sobbing. "Would it be easier if you let me in, darling?" Sniffling, you nod and curl into Cassian's side as a few tears fall.
Feeling Rhys gently caress your mental shields you let him in, asking him to share the memories with Cassian. As they went through your memories they were hit with all your emotions. Happiness, joy, confusion, and sadness. At the end they both gathered you in their arms.
You started crying harder. Gripping them as if they would slip away. After a few minutes Rhys holds your face in his hands, brushing away your tears. "Look at me darling," he whispers, "We would never make you pick between us. The fact that the bond connects the three of us is so rare, it's amazing. There is no one I'd rather be connectde with in this world than you and Cass."
Registering his words your tears stop. "Really? You-you both want to be with me?" Cassian chuckled, kissing the top of your head. "Of course we do, sweetheart." You smile looking between them.
"I love you both, so much." "We love you too, darling." Rhys presses a kiss to your forehead. "Now lets get some sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
"And a long night," Cassian teases, wiggling his brows at you. You chuckle at him lightly slapping his strong chest. Your mates move to leave you alone for the night. You fling out your hand to grasp their wrists. The bond urging you to keep them close. They must've felt your unintentional pull because they immediately came back to your sides.
"Will you...can you guys stay with me? I don't want to be without you anymore." Cassian didn't need to be asked twice. Stripping down to his undershorts and getting under the covers, pulling you to his chest. Rhys followed quickly, pressing one last kiss to your forehead before you drifted off.
400 notes · View notes
lovelyjj · 1 month
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Gender Reveal
jj maybank x reader
reader and jj are in their early twenties
wc: 1.1k
a/n: I got this idea from watching gender reveal tiktoks.
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When you first found out your were pregnant you were scared. You didn’t know what to think but you knew you weren’t ready to be a mom. You were too young. Then there was the fact that you had to tell your boyfriend JJ.
You were worried what he might think or say. You didn’t want him to be mad at you. But you did have to tell him and you eventually did.
Your period was late but you didn’t think you were pregnant. Then you remember the night you slipped up and didn’t use protection. This caused you to run out and buy a pregnancy test. When you returned home you were shaking.
You peed in a cup and stuck the stick in and silently prayed it was negative. You were also thankful JJ wasn’t home. After you set it on the bathroom counter you waited. After waiting three minutes you shakily flipped up the test.
Your eyes nearly popped out of your head, your heart stopped and you felt faint. Positive. Your whole life flashed before your eyes. You with a baby. You bought three tests so you took another test. And another. All three of them were positive.
This is where you broke down crying. You were so overwhelmed you didn’t know what to do. Tears slid down your face as you sobbed. This couldn’t be happening. You were always so careful.
The front door opened and you started to panic. You sucked it up and wiped your tears.
“Baby? Where are you?” JJ called out.
You took a deep breath, “I’m in here!” you yelled.
JJ made his way over to you. Once he reached the bathroom he asked, “Hey, what are you doing in here?”
“Oh um, just blowing my nose,” you sniffed.
“Wait have you been crying?” JJ showed concern.
“Oh um yeah.” JJ noticed your eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“There is something I have to tell you.” You took JJ’s arms in your hands and led him into your shared bedroom.
“Sit on the bed please.”
JJ sat down as you paced in front of him. You figured you better tell JJ right away so you can think of your options together. There was no use in hiding it. You also figured there would be no way you could keep this big of a secret.
“Y/N, you’re scaring me.” JJ voiced.
“Ok, I’m just going to say it.”
“You’re killing me.”
“Ok Ok, um Im pregnant.” You blurted out.
“What?” JJ didn’t think he heard you correctly.
“I’m pregnant.”
“Come again?”
“JJ, I’m pregnant.” You let out a laugh of hysteria.
“You- you’re- you’re- pregnant? pregnant pregnant?”
“Yes. Pregnant pregnant,” you responded.
JJ’s face morphed into shock. He couldn’t believe his ears. Now, JJ has always thought about his future with you. He knew you were the one. He always wanted to start a family with you. Not for a few more years but hey he will take it. He couldn’t be happier.
“We’re having a baby?” JJ whispered.
You cracked a smile, “Yeah.”
“We’re having a baby!” JJ shouted and he picked you up and spun you around. He then gave you a passionate kiss on the lips.
“I didn’t think you would be this happy,” you commented.
“I’m ecstatic!”
“I can’t believe it, we are gonna be parents!” JJ said enthusiastically.
“You’re not scared?” You asked.
“I mean of course I am but I know we will be ok. I know you will be a great mother.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.” JJ smiled.
“Well I know you’d be an excellent dad,” you stroked a hand through his hair.
JJ’s eyes filled with tears. He was getting choked up. He couldn’t believe he was going to start a family with the love of his life.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Throughout your whole pregnancy JJ has been an angel. Each doctor appointment he was right there with you. He was kind and considerate and always making sure you had everything you needed.
You were far enough along to know the gender of the baby. You decided to have a big reveal party with all your friends and family. Kiara found out the gender and set everything up. She bought the confetti poppers with the correct color and everything.
When you were getting ready for the party you asked JJ, “What do you want a boy or a girl?”
“I just want a healthy baby, I will be happy ether way.”
“Come on tell me what you want,” You pressed.
“A little girl would be nice but a baby boy would be cool too.”
“I think it’s gonna be a girl,” you smiled.
“I just have a feeling.”
JJ put his hand on your bump and his other hand on your waist. “I’m so excited,” he said.
Eventually it was time for the party. All your friends and family were there. The backyard was decorated beautifully. Kiara did an amazing job. There was food and presents and pink and blue everything.
After everyone gathered around the two of you it was time for the gender reveal. There was nerves bubbling inside you as well as anticipation. You and JJ were both holding one confetti rocket.
Then everyone started to count down.
“Five.”
“Four.”
“Three.”
“Two.”
“One.”
You and JJ pulled on the rockets and blue confetti burst out of the tubes. You screamed and JJ engulfed you in a huge hug. Everyone was cheering and clapping for you guys.
“I’m gonna be a boy dad!” JJ shouted.
“I can’t believe we are going to have a son.” You gushed.
Then JJ did something you didn’t expect. He started tearing up.
“Aw baby, it’s ok.” You held his face in your hands and rubbed your thumb under his eye.
“I’m just so happy.” JJ exclaimed.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Later that night you and JJ were laying in bed. JJ was rubbing your stomach as you two were cuddling.
“Did I ever tell you how I think you’re gonna be the best mom ever.” JJ started.
“No but thank you,” you smiled.
“You know we can start buying cute little onesies and things like that,” you thought out loud.
“You bet we can. How you feeling mama?”
“Tired but happy,” you smiled.
With the baby on the way the two of you slipped into a feeling of bliss and happiness. You were both over the moon and lucky to have found each other. You were soulmates and now you were starting a family. Life couldn’t get any better.
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cassiopeiasdaughter · 11 months
Text
dress
Theodore Nott x fem!reader
summary: New Year’s Eve, secret situationships and big declarations (angst with a happy ending)
A/N: slowly climbing out of my hole, be patient with me please...this was based on a fic request sent to me for my August celebration Theodore Masterlist
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“So, what are you wearing tonight?” Your friends voice snap you out of your thoughts
“Huh?” You asked, turning your head to face her- Pansy.
Pansy Parkinson, is the prettiest- most intimidating witch you know. You went to school together, but never really talked. Well, until one rainy, very unfortunate evening. You had spent the afternoon by the lake- reading and thinking- alone as you liked to do while she -even though she denies it still- had been shagging a Ravenclaw prefect, at the same lake.
Said Ravenclaw, left her high and dry; running off to some astronomy club he had almost forgotten about, causing her to bump into you- as a storm broke out. 
“Unbelievable.”, she huffed trembling on the way back to the castle - her clothes were muddy and wet, her hair disheveled and her shoes, once shiny and perfect were now absolutely ruined.
You didn’t dare bother her with talking, you instead opted for quietly listening to her righteous cries.
“I lost my necklace.”, she repeated over and over again under her breath, “It must have fallen off and now it’ll be buried under all the mud, my parents will kill me.”
Neither of you bothered saying goodbye to eachother once you stepped inside the castle, warm and dry and safe. You walked to your respective dorms and prepared yourself to pack this small- insignificant interaction with the all the small talks- and awkward conversations you’ve had with classmates over the years. But life was funny and you being the person that you are, found her necklace the next day and returned it to her.
“What do I owe you?”, she asked surprised and you laughed in return. That day, you earned a best friend for life, someone you could always count on, to have your back and keep you in check. Someone to laugh with and always share the good and the bad, this life has to offer.
“It’s New Years Eve, have you picked an outfit yet?” She asked again lowering the cup of coffee she’d been holding.
“Well, a dress I think- either the green one or the purple- the one with the bow-” You begun explaining but were quickly interrupted.
“The green one.” Theodore Nott said, drawing a small smile on your face- your eyes quickly searching for his.
Normally, you’d scoff at the comment- the audacity- you’d think to yourself. You aren’t someone that cares what other people think of you- not anymore at least. You don’t like asking for help, or advice. You like doing things your own way, you know yourself- way better than others like to think they do. And good Godric, you hate being interrupted, but Theodore- Theo gets a free pass. And you curse yourself at the realization.
You were classmates in Hogwarts, became friends thanks to Pansy, and then you just grew closer. How did everything happen? Well, that’s a story for another time. The important part is that he knows you- all of you and you him. He is the one person you’d sacrifice your alone time for, the one you anxiously wait for at night- he is the one and only person you peacefully sleep with at night, after exposing your body and soul to him. And you, well you hope you are all these in return for him. But you couldn’t possibly know that, because you were the one to come up with the rules for the thing you two have.
Casual, secret, no one gets hurt, we are friends above all.
A stupid coward you were, to think you’d be satisfied with just that. But you couldn’t take it back now, so you compromise and now, you kiss him after your friends have gone home, and you run out of bed before you get too comfortable and reality hits you hard like a punch in the stomach.
“Hate to agree with Nott, but he’s right, the green one looks great on you.” Pansy said unaware of the looks exchanged in front of her, of the lingering touches and innocent smiles.
“I’ll think about it.”
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“I don’t understand why we can’t just go together, I am already here, my clothes are here, what’s the big deal?” You hear him ask, as you get ready together.
“The big deal is that I don’t want this to become a big deal.” You confess as you slowly turn around to face him.
“Ah- right.” He finally replies- his voice defeated and cold- distant. It’s no longer Theo- who speaks to you, but Theodore Nott, old classmate- mere acquaintance.
“You know what I meant, we…I-” You helplessly try to repair what you’ve broke, but soon you begin to realize that the other shoe the one you’ve been preparing yourself to drop, just did and there is no turning back now.
“I will see you later tonight” He begins to leave but pauses shortly to observe the clothes you’ve picked for tonight, laid out perfectly in a chair by the corner of the room “Not the green dress then? Pity, but you’ll look beautiful either way. You always do.” 
With that, he leaves you alone in your room, confused and sad and irritated.
Confused because you can’t understand him, or his motives. 
Sad; like you’ve just broken your favorite toy out of sheer stupidity and carelessness.
And irritated at yourself, for letting this turn into a big deal at the end.
“You don’t look very festive.” You hear Pansy say later that night, over the loud music, a glass of champagne in her hand and smudged lipstick, the same shade as the marks coating Neville Longbottoms neck.
“‘M tired, besides, you know, I don’t like big crowds.” You lie and finish of your drink as you scan the room for him.
Him, him, him. You haven’t seen him all night, you asked around but nothing. You suspect Blaise knows- something- from the way he talked to you, with disappointed brown eyes- staring down at you, judging you and your cold and foolish heart- always avoiding good things and ending up hurt by none other than yourself.
You aren’t even sure what you want to say to him now, what you are expecting to happen. You just want him to know how sorry you are, you just want to erase the image of him turning his back to you with hurt, from your brain. 
And as you think all that, you finally spot him in a corner, surrounded by his- your- friends. He locks eyes with you the moment his head turns and he could just kill you right this moment, from how detached his stare is. That’s what you deserve, you suppose for treating him like he is disposable, insignificant; for wanting to hide him and what you have- as if you’re embarrassed of it- of him. 
“Merlin you’re both idiots.” Pansy laughs behind you
You turn your head- stunned at her words. And, as you wait for her eyes to turn cold and scold you, Merlin, even yell at you for keeping this secret form her she surprises you with a hearty laugh and an arm on your shoulder, warming you- drawing you close.
“I don’t understand.” You laugh nervously and shake your head at her “How do you? Aren’t you mad? I…I-”
“What do you mean how? I am your best friend, I know you, no matter how hard you try to hide things from me, I’ll know and there isn’t much you can do about it.” She says with a smirk “Besides, I haven’t seen Nott this happy in a long time. So stop acting, trying to hide this thing you have and go be together. I am not going to be your new years kiss, Longbottom is waiting for me by the bar.”
“It's not an act, we had a fight, I think, I hurt him” You confess finally “I wanted to keep this secret, he didn’t and then I went on about not making it a big deal, when I want it to be a big deal, but I don’t think he does-”
You could hear your voice getting faster and faster, words mixing together but it didn’t matter because you had to get it all out now that you could and it felt like a running sink filling up a tub with water, ignoring the fact that a flood could destroy everything.
“Her, hey, slow down- breathe and then explain things, slower this time.” Her words ground you- like an anchor fighting with all its power to keep a ship from getting lost in a storm- even with the strongest tides coming its way.
“We agreed it was a casual thing, between the two of us, but it’s more than that for me. He doesn’t know, and-and in the process, I think, even if there were a part of him that wanted more, he doesn’t anymore. Because I-I have been so terrible, keeping secrets and running away the minute everything became too real. Maybe I’ve lost my chance.”
You hear her sigh and you think she agrees with you, it’s true, there is nothing you can do anymore, you lost the game.
“Do you see how miserable he is right now? How miserable he is every time you aren’t there with him? Stop talking to me, stop pitying yourself and go to him, just go- go, that’s an order.”
And with that she grabs your drink and shoves you away to his direction.
Your mind is blank and your mouth feels dry as you walk up to him and the way he eyes you up, surprised and curious slows your thinking even more.
“I went with the green dress.” You blurt out
“I can see that.” He replies nodding 
An apology isn’t going to cut it you realize. Because not only, have you been acting like your secret with Theo was something that didn’t matter to you, something unimportant and stupid, it also made him feel insecure; as if there was something wrong with him- that you had to hide from everyone. Maybe you deserved this; I don’t want to make this a big deal you had said to him. But, really, he is worth it- he is a big deal to you.
“Dance with me?” 
You extend your arm and hesitantly he takes it, leading you both to the dance floor.
“I am sorry.” You begin saying as you sway to the music, with his arms resting on your back and yours wrapped around his shoulders. “This is a big deal to me. I am sorry for acting like it wasn’t. I was really scared of putting all my feelings out there and ending up with nothing, but- but you are worth it. I am sorry for making you believe you weren’t.”
“You are a big deal to me too.” He replies after a while, his eyes are lit up now, like you’re used to them looking, warming your insides with just one look. He draws you in closer, as if holding on for dear life and his head dips slightly- wanting to take you all in. “So no more hiding?”
“No more, you can even make a big spectacle out of our one month anniversary if you’d like, I’ll mentally prepare myself.” You say and he laughs
“Noted.” He whispers in your ear “It’s almost New Year.”
You both stop moving and simply stare at eachother.
10, 9, 8
The room darkens and it feels as if you are the only people there.
7, 6, 5
Your heart warms at the though of spending this year with someone you love, actually love. 
4, 3, 2
You stand on your tip toes and you smile at the man before you “I really love you.” You say to him
1-
“Happy New Year.” You whisper and kiss him, savoring the Happy New Year, I love you too he whispers as your lips connect.
And once the party is over you return to your house laughing and singing to yourselves, whispering I love you, goodnight- for the first time to eachother, but certainly not the last.
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reminder: English isn't my first language and I'm terribly sorry for mistakes; feedback and criticism are appreciated and needed
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