#i did this to you im terribly sorry LMFAO

[l-ivestudioaudience]

“mista sheffieeeeeld.”

the slight ache in maxwell's temples from too many hours on end poring over agent submissions and contracts immediately graduates with honors to a dull throb.

he pushes up his readers, rubs at his eyes with a sigh, and begins to mutter. "miss fine, you have precisely thirty seconds to tell me what is broken, past due, or otherwise needs dealing with."

[mcytegg]

you can love a character and still admit when they're wrong. i love roshambogames but can acknowledge his flaws (he has none) & can hold him accountable for his wrongdoings (he’s never done anything wrong in his life) & call him out for his actions (which are always correct)

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

most days I'm so chill with the fact I'm non-contact with my father, it was the best decision, I hate him, my life is so much more peaceful without him

then bam it's a random Tuesday at 8pm and I'm sobbing because I miss having a dad, like, excuse me what is this??

[merry-the-cookie]

I realize this is a bit of a longshot but did you ever make any deh acrylic charms?? I desperately wanna buy one from ya if im able

dude i am very sorry to say but you are like six years late for that fjdhHFJSJDJ thats very kind though, but yeah im not restocking those :’) thank you tho, sorry!!

[cockringhoratio]

i am filtering the glass onion tag i am filtering the glass onion tag i am filtering the glass onion tag

[thatdeadaquarius]

College be kicking my ass but we continue on like Scaramouche (alive and kicking, but still crabby about it all lmfao)

Random idea but what happens when the acolytes got hold of Creator that is able to squeeze into small places (like a cat would but less liquid) and knows how to escape? Think of sagau but instead of all the deaths, its just they got overexited and chased the Creator the moment they see them which scared them shitless seeing a mob just appear out of nowhere.

I mean who wouldn't after seeing your favourite person in your favourite game just appear right in front of you? (I apologize in advance to the poor unfortunate sucker)

Imagine a world-wide search that keeps getting them heart attacks. Venti just flying by with Dvalin ony to see you on top of the floating pillar above Dragonspine LEANING PRECARIOUSLY OH MY ARCHONS GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE---

Zhongli walking around trying to find peace and quiet only to sense your presence which led him towards Azhdaha's domain and nearly shouted in terror seeing you hanging by one of the limestones above the slumbering dragon your grace what and how the in the fucking name of teyvat did you---

Yae Miko screaming in surprise seeing you inside one of the cupboards of your grace's house (you made a small temporary one in each country in case u need more rest) that she and Ei found in one of the remote islands.

Nahida and the entire Forest Rangers having one of the most intense, frustrating and most challenging game of hide and seek in the entire freaking forest.

You hiding underneath the sand like a fricking snake everytime Cyno spots you from a disrance.

-Vine Boom 🧨

I am no longer apologizing for lateness simply bc atp its basically assumed Im terribly sorry 💀 /so gen

  

Content under -----------------✄

☆

Sun: Reader, (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Imposter SAGAU? Imposter SAGAU Reversed Ver? unclear (NOT DARK)

Stars: little here, little there

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: reader/you thinks everyone is hunting them down, dark sagau fake-baiting lmao, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

No but the traumatic experience of you cautiously wandering into Mondstadt after realizing ur in Genshin like, ✨👄✨

and every single street/alleyway you try to go down to even avoid it is just people all looking at you like: 👁️👄👁️ ???

and ur over here equally just like: 😃 tf u lookin at????

u get up near the cathedral and finally see a playable character, Barbara, and she just fully GASPS and POINTS at you like she’s getting paid to be an actor for this

shouting sm nonsense like: “My Creator??? King of All???? IS THAT YOU?????”

and after which a few nuns check the commotion, Rosaria and Barbara’s Visions are glowing, and all join in heckling you

Venti coming (literally) flying around a corner on a breeze, saying he was trying to catch up to you, and ohhh now ur Convinced:

None of these bitches must be happy to see you, you did forcefully control their bodies if by the sounds of it they knew you/they must’ve been aware during the game, aw damn looks like u gotta run for your life now

You just book it out of Mond, Venti/Barbara yelling after you to come back, and meanwhile you’re leaving a shell-shocked Jean/Diluc/Kaeya (with Visions glowing) in ur wake on the way out

Not one being, mortal or otherwise, convinces you to stay in Mond, and you finally get to Dragonspine- the only place u know they wont follow

(well maybe the pyro characters but ur betting if u can make it up the mountain theyre not committed to,, running you down? arresting you?? ur not sure)

u make it all the way up and luckily everythings all solved like u did in the game, the traveler must be well into teyvat by now, and u decide to say “for the already achieved achievement” and fuck around and find out near the nail

U thought as u finally got on it u heard a scream somewhere in the sky, and u spotted Dvalin carrying Venti/Barbatos, and once again book it out of town (damn u cant believe theyre so committed they got the dragon in on it…)

so u haul ass all the way down the mountain, traveling only at night, living like a vampire, holing up during the day when u see Mond citizens/knights/gods/etc. walking around presumably looking for you

but u make it, finally! sweet, sweet Liyue, ur 2nd home (besides Mondstadt)

Only to immediately, like right outside the fucking gates to Liyue Harbor, run into Zhongli.

and he’s standing there like this mf knew u were coming, and the first thing out his mouth is some BS like, “…Darnell, that you??”/ref LMAOO

but instead of laughing abt it u just scream and run for your life haha

oh jesus h christ- he’s sending the adepti after you fuck- how hated are you??

sure u maybe hate Celestia a little, and sympathize with the traveler, but this seems a little extreme?!

you go to the one place u know he/any other adeptus doesnt like to come often, Azdaha’s cave

and after a night (well, day bc ur sleeping during the day now) of Azdaha sleeping peacefully, he wakes up fully coherent and u actaully have a rlly pleasant conversation with him about Liyue food lol

he also kept mentioning some kind of god? but like in reference to you?? are u connected to them, u kinda know a lot of gods atp so ur not sure which he means, a god to rule them all??? Celestia?? yeah u guess u know those fucks-

Cue u looking down from ur perch in the stalagmites above, u found a ledge and Azdaha helped you,

only to see a very concerned and borderline nervous Zhongli down below, Azhdaha just greets him like nothing’s wrong, but as soon as he sees you’re uncomfortable, helps you escape (more like teleport) away

(the old geo archon was probably nervous just be around Azhdaha u assume)

and now ur on the islands of Inazuma

u know exactly what islands are all but abandoned, the ghost one, the electrocuting one, and the scary bird one, all great options 👍

Raiden and Yae Miko manage to find you on every single one, with Yae getting more and more exasperated, and Ei getting more and more concerened with every position they find you in

hanging out on the banks of the electro river that would kill you if it weren’t for the little electro trees fending it off (thank fuck u maxed that shit out while in game)

bc u assumed they’d hate to be around it, plus lots of ronin- nope Ei is almost… scolding you?? oh but she’s got her Musou no Hitotachi out fuCK-

(she was slaying ronins that were getting too close to you)

she also is constantly jumpscaring you on tsurumi island/ghost island bc while the ghosts are gone, the creepy atmosphere isn't, and it makes her all the more terrifying as The Raiden Shogun comes walking out of the fog into the cave you've hidden in, stuff of ur nightmares for weeks as u just bird box style try to be silent and stealth around the island to get to an abandoned boat,

literally her scary ass purple sword glowing silhouette wandering around in the fog as you paddle away 💀

getting to thunder bird island and Yae Miko is literally both running/teleporting as quickly as she can to you, as you jump from floating rock to floating rock to escape her, god its so unnerving to watch someone so lazy running after you

she keeps getting in this weird “praising the heavens pose” sometimes when you jump, oh shit she’s aiming hER ATTACKS AT YOU THATS WHY-

oh good- she missed and deflected some stray debris coming ur way, u gotta get to the bird area and see if you can glide away (u managed to get a glider at some point thank fuck)

the bird is luckily on ur side against all these mfs trying to hunt u down (for controlling their bodies u guess) and flies u back to mainland teyvat

sumeru u thought would have the most mercy on u tbh, maybe fontaine bc Neuvillette only rlly cares if u break “fontaine” laws, maybe he wouldn't care to chase down a mortal like u over this

and nahida bc shes just nice

which is somewhat true, as you are acting like tarzan swinging around on vines and shit to escape the forest rangers

but she does show up in ur dreams, but shes just all foggy or distorted, u guess bc ur not of this world or smth??

and so it just unnerves u more, and u try to make it out to the desert, where at least there's no gods to worry about

mf ur hunkered down in a pyramid and see the shadowy shape of Cyno walking thru a sandstorm at you 💀

U dont kno how u got out of that one tbh, smth abt “king deshret made a plan for this” and left it behind for ppl to use to escape underground, sweet

And while Nahida and other eremites, scholars like Alhaitham/Kaveh/Dehya were looking around the desert sands, u slip by them

And u make it to the oasis at the edge of the desert, and steal an old rowboat to cross to fontaine (if i had a nickel everytime u needed to escape a god via old rowboat, youd have 2 nickels- )

and getting to Fontaine is not much better.

U literally get to the clockwork tower, foggy, ominous, uninhabited except for treasure-seekers occasionally, its perfect

until Neuvillette himself just strolls in abt 3 nights of u making camp there

u nearly shit urself as he just fake-knocked on a wall, meanwhile ur like hanging from the ceiling (four limbs out suspending you type of fictional shit)

luckily, mostly bc u were trying to wait him out (which wasn't possible ur limbs hurt so bad) he was, finally, the first person around u long enough to be genuinely kind and patient and answer questions

(Neuvillette acc couldn't figure out where u were at first, and was very confused how u got ur voice to boom around this chamber of the tower, after a minute of talking u trusted him enough to tell him to look up lol)

just in time too, he was able to hide u from the archons a little longer bc u were nervous

(u were already intimidated enough by Neuvillette being irl himself, talking to you, let alone all the other gods/vision users, as u realized afterwards thinking abt all the ppl trying to “hunt u down”, that if they all counted as ppl actually wanting to see you, that was a rlly overwhelming amount, esp if their first instinct is to run at you??? what are you, a fan-abused/disrespected kpop idol????)

☆

trying to be fancy and schedule posts once i get enough free time to actually wrangle my adhd to actually partake in my favorite hobbies 💀

well as long as I'm not getting slammed with lots of shifts again

hope u guys had a great weekend and have a good week! Happy late Valentine’s Day :)

Safe Travels Vine Boom,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the Beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[hauntedrain]

Part 2: Unexpected | Max Verstappen x Fem Reader |

✮▹A/N: I hope you enjoy and sorry for not posting sooner! also this is kinda short so sorry about that, next one should be longer.

✰▹Warnings/Notices: NOT EDITED. also dont mind the dates on the tweets, It has nothing to do with the time line of the story. Terribly sorry if it doesn't make sense.

part 1: Here! Part 3 is posted <3

Twitch stream transcript!

Y/N: Uh hey guys! we have SERIOUS things to talk about.

Lorelei: Tu-tu-du-du, Max Verstappen...

Y/N: WHOS MAX VERSTAPPEN.

Theo: Okay calm down... we can explain.

Y/N: wait. he follows me on Instagram?

Lorelei: WHAT?

Y/N: LOOK HE DOES. CHAT WTF.

Lorelei: Chat is saying he saw a clip of the YouTube video

Y/N: ohhh, that's why everything went crazy...

Theo: wait do they have the clip of it?

Y/N: please no we don't need to watch that.

Lorelei: YES WE DO.

Y/N: No, because that's EMBARRASSING. Imagine If Robert Pattison or someone saw your tiktoks.

Lorelei: that's true.

Y/N: okay that makes more sense now.

Theo: I told you that you should get into F1. If you did you wouldn't have had this happen.

Lorelei: You know.. I wish Max Verstappen followed me.

Y/N: Apparently you're not cool enough then.

Lorelei: WHAT?

Liked by Max verstappen, TheoD, & 24,567,899 others

Y/N: The cat kinda looks like someone I know?

Click to view all 14,567,789 comments

User6: THE CAT LMFAO

↪ user7: Tbh it actually kinda looks like Max.

User8: I really hope they're talking cuz I really need to see Y/N in the paddock, worlds would collide.

↪ Y/N: I wanna drive the cars !

↪ MaxVerstappen: We could make that happen.

↪ Lorelei: IM SORRY WHAT?

↪Y/N: HAHAHA LOSER.

User9: kitty cat

User10: PLEASE SAY UR TALKING TO MAX PLEASE.

↪ user11: I mean its been a month or so at this point so yea they're probably talking.

Y/N has posted to their story!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ taglist: @holy-macncheese-balls @loloekie @cherry-piee @bloodyymaryyy @mangotaitai @the-untamed-soul @trouble-sistar @stinkyjax @minkyungseokie

Comment if you wanna be tagged <3

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: Okay I hope you liked this and it isnt to confusing, this story is kinda hard to format, but I still hope it makes sense. Thanks for the love. Love you guys <3

[januaryrabbit]

Request: how svt would deal with their crush being in a relationship already (their crush is their bff)

hello! thank you for requesting, im sorry its so late!! :) this scenario is kinda angsty so i hope you dont mind!!

seventeen when their crush (who happens to be their best friend) is in a relationship!!!

pairing: svt x gn!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst, Simping, Yearning

other disclaimers/notes: lowercase intended; barely proofread because it's 4am!!!, i’ve been watching wayyyyy too many coming of age films lately lmao!!!

✩‧₊˚Cope (trying to be normal)

vernon: vernon rolls with the punches in most any circumstance, and this is no exception. like Yeah….this shit sucks….but you guys are best friends, so he has to deal with it. i don’t think this would affect him too much tbh,,,like i think the fact that he’s in love with you is something he rarely even admits to himself. i feel like he always has it in the back of his mind, but nothing more than that. i think he’d be able to ignore his feelings the most successfully out of all the members because vernon’s realistic with himself and he knows there’s no point in being hurt over something that’s out of his control. none of this stops him from loving you, but that’s something for him to know and you to never find out lol. seungkwan knows about vernon’s feelings btw. he (vernon) figures that if he had to tell anyone…it would be him, and for whatever reason, he felt compelled to tell at least one person about all of this. vernon doesn’t know why, but it feels better knowing that someone knows his true feelings, even if that someone isn’t, and probably can never be, you.

s.coups: you know that face he makes after the girl rejects him in mansae??? Yeah. Yeah that’s him at all times lmao. he cant say hes mad at anyone in this situation, except maybe the universe lmao. i think he just regards this whole situation has his life’s hugest bruh moment LOL. he’s gotten okay at pretending like everything’s fine when he’s around you, because in his mind, there’s nothing else he can do. there was no way he was going to end his friendship with you, but there was also no way he could confess his feelings to you. in private, he’s talked to some of the boys about it in private - mostly jeonghan and joshua, but sometimes when he’s feeling particularly frustrated with the situation, he goes to woozi, who is able to ground him every time he feels like he can’t take it anymore. seungcheol knows that to others, being friends with you while still being in love with you doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense; but if it meant you were still in his life to some capacity, that was all that mattered to him.

joshua: the definition of smiling thru the pain…like he’s literally katy perry They ask you how you sre and you just have to say that youre fine even though youre not fine like. i think more than anything, he’s not too torn up over this situation than he is irritated. the mention of your partner makes his eye twitch LMFAO. like when you come back from going on a trip with them, you start telling joshua about everything you did together and he’s like THAT’S SO COOL Y/N . I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS HAD FUN. *eye twitch* LOL. tries his best not to go overboard with it or make it obvious that he’s being sarcastic - he’s aware enough to know that your happiness is important and that unless there’s a legit reason one day, he doesnt have any grounds for disliking your s/o too LOL. i think he’s probably overly cautious if you ever tell him that you and your s/o were having problems as well. like he would be try really hard to be neutral if you ever asked him for his opinion on a situation that happened between you and your partner. i think he would feel guilty about being your confidant while having these feelings for you,,as much as he wants to tell you to break up with them and be with him instead, he knows how terribly selfish of him it would be to put you in that situation. so, he endures it everyday.

dk: dude……HE IS ALSO SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN…..but like HES ALSO CRYING….SO BAD….like. he tries REALLY hard to keep everything lighthearted around you - any time the conversation gets even close to being serious, he always pivots to a different topic. some of the other boys can tell something’s the matter when he’s around you, but they can’t quite place what’s different about him. when he’s around you, he just seems ever-so-slightly…off. his smile is less bright, his jokes are a little less frequent, and he’s actually kind of quiet when people are around you two. it’s a weird sight to see, and dk knows this; he knows that others have noticed, but he’s trying as hard as he can to behave as naturally as he can around you. i think he’s one of the members that would be pretty broken up about the situation, similar to mingyu. i don;t see him being able to deal with something like this well. i think he definitely goes to the other boys for comfort about this, to the point where his feelings for you are kind of an open secret amongst them lmao. (except dino because seungkwan begged everyone not to tell him because he thinks dino would make it obvious that dk likes you so they leave him in the dark!!!) 

seungkwan: bruh seungkwan tries so hard to be normal around you but then he’ll text vernon “im third wheeling y/n again please kill me” in the same breath. sometimes when he’s falling asleep at night he’s just like god how did i end UP in this situation!!!!!  he’s more of the kind of person who’s pouty about it instead of sad about it. he just finds the situation annoying more than anything, and he wishes that you would just REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY!! but he’s alright with waiting it out. i think he’s one of the members who would be not very fond of your partner LMAO. every time they greet seungkwan he’s just like “oh hey -___- how are you -___-” and your partner is like babe how do i get seungkwan to like me and you’re like HAHA he’s just like that, he needs to warm up to you!! (seungkwan knows this is not the case with this specific person.) but yeah, i think seungkwan also holds out hope that one day the two of you will end up together. i don’t think he would go as far as to ruin your relationship or influence you to break up with your partner, but i think he would definitely confess if you ever became single again LOL. i think it would be a teary confession too, because he’s been bottling up all these feelings for a while.

✩‧₊˚depression.

chan: oh my lee chan…i think he would fucking die in this situation!!! it would just, Destroy him. and you could tell there was something seriously wrong…he just wasn’t his usual excited self anymore, and he was suddenly beginning to avoid you out of nowhere. dino doesn’t want to do this; he doesn't want to be anywhere but by your side, but that place isn’t for him anymore and he knows that all too well. i think he would be one of the only people who would actually confess his feelings at some point, regardless if you were in a relationship or not. i think one day he would reach his breaking point and ust blurt it out because he just can’t take it anymore. i think part of him, although he feels guilty for it, knows that telling you about it is the first step he needs to take for him personally to move on. the only thing that hurts him more than not being able to be your person is keeping a secret this huge from you.

jun: dude this is the cat version of a kicked puppy. like. jun is NOT ok…..and he’s not very good at hiding it i think. i think you’d be able to tell that something was wrong, but jun is terrified about talking about this with you, so you never really find out what’s bothering him. i dont think he’s one who would ever end up telling you about his feelings. in fact, he might be one of the only ones who lets your friendship naturally drift apart because of his feelings for you. it’s not that he doesnt want to be in your life, but he also wants to get over you more than anything. but i think it would be incredibly difficult for him to see you as just a friend tbh, so for as long as you’re dating your partner, i think he’d keep his distance sadly.

hoshi: the light in this man’s eyes have unironically left. like. the thought of hoshi being sad over you……..I CAN’T BEAR IT!!! yeah i think he would take this all pretty hard. though unlike jun, i don;t think hoshi would be able to stay away from you and keep his distance. you’re too precious of a person in his life, and not to say that you aren’t in other scenarios with other members, but i just see hoshi being firm about still being in your life. in fact, he’s one of the few guys that i think is secretly hopeful that one day down the road you’ll end up together. he doesn’t ever voice these feelings to anyone; he knows it’s ridiculous to feel this way about someone who’s already taken, and he feels that if he voices it to someone that he’s going to get bad karma, LMAO. should you ever become single again though is a different story though….

mingyu: for some reason have this vibe that being in this situation would literally destroy him and eat him alive…i just feel like he’s someone who truly loves really, really hard, and adding in the fact that you’re his best friend magnifies the pain by hundreds. what do you fucking do when the person you love most in this world doesn’t return your feelings? he would be really torn up about this because on one hand, he’s never felt this way about someone before, and he wants nothing more than to be with you; but what he wants more than that is for you to be happy, and if that isn’t with him, he has to accept that. sadly, i feel like at some point this would be too much for him,,,like to the point where he keeps his distance from you a bit. he feels awful, but it’s just too hard for him to hear about you and your partner and act like nothing’s wrong when you’re around :(

✩‧₊˚avoidant

woozi: i feel like he might be a little hot and cold about it. he is Not happy in this situation, and it frustrates him that he cant really do anything about it except deal. he doesn't really like talking about your s/o and he tries his best to hide it, but you can kinda tell that there's something wrong. but when you ask him about it, he says he's totally fine! i don't think woozi would dare to ever let his feelings for you come to light, and as unhappy as it makes him to not be honest with you, he just doesn't feel comfortable with telling someone he has feelings for them when said person is in a relationship. as little of a fan he is of your s/o, woozi knows that if he was in their shoes, he wouldn't be happy if someone confessed to you while the two of you were dating. i think he would need some distance to get over you, and i think the only way that it would happen is by throwing himself into his work and begrudgingly spending a LOT of his time with hoshi LMAO!!

minghao: would distance himself by making a bunch of life changes to keep him busy so he can eventually get over you. minghao values you too much, so he figures the best solution is to take time to himself so he can get over you in a healthy way with space from you. he isn’t happy about seeing you less, but he knows that it’s what needs to be done in order for him to heal from this situation. would definitely have a vague excuse ready if you ever asked him why he was distant from you; i cannot see any universe where minghao would ever admit he used to have feelings for you, even if it had been years past. he’s keeping this one in the vault LMAO, not even jun knows!!

wonwoo: bruh…..he’s. he’s in pain. but he’s keeping it all inside. i think he’d feel really selfish for harboring these feelings toward you while you’re dating someone else. your partner was perfectly friendly to wonwoo,,,like it makes him feel WORSE that he’s in love with you. he tries to forget his feelings, even getting into relationships once in a while, but everything always comes back to you. i feel like this is a secret he’s told absolutely NO ONE at all because of how much it weighs on his heart. the only soul who does know to some extent is mingyu, because he caught wonwoo crying one day when he came home early from work. wonwoo didn’t really get into the details, but he did admit that it he had unrequited feelings for someone. mingyu didn’t pry, and he still never has. 

jeonghan: there is Pain behind his eyes lol but he is keeping this secret in the Vault fr. Maybe, M a y b e s.coups MIGHT know, but that’s about it. jeonghan is one of the only people i can imagine is completely normal around you and no one can tell that there’s anything wrong. the only reason that seungcheol knows anything is because he knows jeonghan the best, and he could tell by the way that he hung onto your every word that he had feelings for you. but yeah, i think jeonghan would have the easiest time living with this secret from you. sometimes he does feel a little guilty, and honestly sometimes he does flirt with you lightly, but nothing to arouse any serious suspicion. mostly he’ll just say he likes your outfit or something when you’re hanging out, which is harmless in his mind. it does bother him that the person he’s in love with is dating someone else, but i think jeonghan would just be like “what else can i do at this point??” and continue with his life. not much changes between the two of you, besides jeonghan being a little more quiet when the topic of your relationship or partner comes up, but it’s not something you notice anyway. and such is life, whether jeonghan is truly okay with it or not.

[eurydicees]

Also, I just saw you’re 23, I am too! It’s rough out here. Another idea: any characters, what’s it like being 23? Where are they at this point? I feel like hq shows that as being sooo grown up but like I’m just a big teenager right?? Idk just rambling

being 23 is so rough sometimes lmfao. i've got friends from high school getting married and friends from college having early life crises. i'm working full time and living alone but tbh mostly feel like i'm playing at house rn more than i am living on my own. whatever. it's fine. early 20s is just a silly time of life. anyways i don't have a fic for u but i Do have a headcanon list.

in no particular order, haikyuu characters as stupid things i've done in my early twenties:

atsumu: having a brother who is a chef does not prevent him from forgetting to take the cheese packet out of the mac and cheese box and dumping that into boiling water with the pasta.

udai: does not remember the last time he ate a vegetable.

oikawa: friends all went to a party without him and his coping method was getting so so so wasted on white rum and falling asleep on the living room carpet immediately after giving another friend a tarot card reading saying their breakup is imminent (to be fair, it was. but it was still kinda rude).

iwaizumi: after class, was led to a private stairwell by a friend, jokes "haha are you taking me to a hidden location to kill me." and then received a love confession. proceeded to say "uh. i'll think about it." then did finger guns. and said "im just gonna. go" and then fucking. ran. like not exaggerating, ran.

kageyama: went on a date. did Not At All Know it was a date, despite the very very obvious flirting. yes this was the same person as in the previous bullet point. don't look at me like that.

akaashi: took a 100 level class senior year and did not pay attention to a single lecture. instead wrote thousands of words of fanfiction in the classroom every day.

atsumu (again): another cooking one. i just think he'd be a terrible cook. sorry. anyways. "it's been 20 min, why isn't this scallion pancake im pan frying cooking yet?" (<- did not turn on the stove burner.)

yachi: hm the light in this room doesn't work. guess i'll just learn to see in the dark instead of inconveniencing anyone by asking to fix it.

akaashi (again): completely fell in love at first sight, but fast forward five months and it actually somehow worked out? however the five months were filled with the most insufferable pining possible, which could have been resolved so so so easily. also started talking about marriage, like, six months in.

bokuto: got sad. went out into a raging snowstorm in socks and no jacket. laid down in the snow for a long time. somehow, miraculously, didn't get a cold afterwards?

akaashi and/or yachi: changed majors and career paths because a pretty upperclassman asked them to. (i am very happy in my chosen path but jesus christ THAT was why i did it?)

hinata: flew from coast to coast of the country, then drove halfway back to the midwest in the span of three days. started a new job on the fourth day. didn't sign a lease on an apartment until the fifth day.

semi: skipped a day of work to drive four hours there and four hours back for a fall out boy concert. totally worth it but driving at 4am after a concert wasn’t the smartest thing ever to be done.

kuroo: started reading homestuck in the year of our lord 2024. this is an attempt to remain in contact with long distance friendships (by doing a bookclub) but jesus fucking christ dude.

ok this is getting too long and i needed to be ready for work, like 15 min ago lol. maybe i'll write more of these later, but i hope you enjoy these and my silly disasters are a little comforting :)

[virescent-v]

Hey, can I request #92 pls. Maybe with a little angst but I’m leaving it to you🩷

hi hi hi, so sorry this took like...two weeks. life, ya know?

it started as something, and im not sure this is the angst you were really looking for (that really isn't my area of expertise i should work on that lmfao) but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Definitely Not Friends

Word Count: 2.7k+

Prompt: “friends don’t do this kind of shit”

Warnings: It's smutty, ya'll, but not my "normal" kind of smut

The repetitive nature of your ongoing…tryst with Emily was getting under your skin. It had all started off so innocently; just some casual flirtation between coworkers. Nothing that Derek and Penelope haven’t been accused of over the years. But before you knew it, you were spending more alone time with Emily than any of your other coworkers. Late night talks on the phone, dinners after long cases to unwind, Friday night movie nights, the list goes on. 

At first, you didn’t think much of it. Just two coworkers who saw some terrible shit every day who got on well enough to lean on one another. 

But then Emily started pushing the envelope. 

A brush across your shoulders as she was passing by. A squeeze of your hand before getting out of the SUV to catch a killer. Eye contact that lasted just a little too long. A lip bite that made your breath catch. 

Innocent enough things that you convinced yourself you were just imagining them. 

But then one night after a gut wrenching case, she kissed you. 

She had driven you home from the airport after getting back from a two week case in Minnesota. It was well after midnight, you could barely keep your eyes open, and you couldn’t figure out if you wanted to spend the rest of the night crying, eating your feelings in ice cream, or sleeping for the next six days. 

She walked you to your door, nothing out of the usual. You looked at her before going inside to say goodbye, but she engulfed you in the best hug of your life. Her arms around you were strong. Supportive. You could feel your whole body melt into hers. 

You’ve never felt more safe. 

When you pulled back a little to look at her, your eyes caught and you tried to convey everything you couldn’t find the words for. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest. 

And then, she kissed you and she ran. 

You stood stupefied on your porch, watched her get back into the unmarked SUV before speeding off into the night. 

You didn’t talk to her for three days. 

At work, she acted like everything was normal. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to bring it up because you weren’t even sure what it was. Was it just a comfort thing? Did she have feelings for you? You couldn’t tell. Emily was so hard to read on a good day, let alone when your head was all over the place. 

A few days passed and it had seemed like everything went back to normal. You talked every day, had gone to a few meals together, and she came over for a movie night. 

Except this movie night was different, too. 

She was wearing a skimpier set of pajamas. A loose fitting tank top and the shortest pair of shorts you had ever seen. You knew for a fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra because her nipples were visible through the material. You weren’t sure how she hadn’t caught you staring. 

She sat closer to you on the couch than normal, too. Your sides were basically joined from shoulder to thigh. You could feel her warmth radiating from her to you, the nervous excitement making your body heat up even more in return. 

Again, you weren’t sure what was happening, but you were going to roll with it. The unknowing was thrilling in itself. 

Emily fell asleep halfway through whatever romcom you had put on, her head on your shoulder, her hand lazily resting on your thigh. 

You were too nervous to move, your breaths short as not to jostle her. 

You’re pretty sure you could die happy on this couch with Emily’s head resting on you. 

It was almost the end of the movie when Emily shuffled in her sleep, her head moving towards the crook of your neck, her hand traveling dangerously close to the apex of your thighs. You could feel the heat erupt through your body, your stomach starting to twist into knots. You knew you should probably wake her, get her into your guest bed, and go to sleep. But you were enjoying her being this close too much. 

You could feel her breath against the side of your neck, the little puffs of air almost tickling. She grunted in her sleep, her hand tightening around your thigh, her nose nuzzling against you as she let out a sexy little “mmhmm.” 

Your mind immediately went to the gutter and you could only imagine her making that sound as she ground her hips against yours in your bed. 

You pressed your thighs together to stop the zoom of arousal that shot through you. You barely suppressed the moan that wanted to tumble from your lips. 

You finally gained the courage to wake her and get her to the guest room. Sleepy Emily was one of your favorites; she turned almost incoherent and klutzy and it was maybe the cutest thing you’d ever seen. 

As you were pulling the sheets up around her, she all but dragged you into the bed with her. She got you settled under the covers and immediately cuddled into you, making you into the little spoon. Again, you could feel her breath on your neck, her hand lazily drawing patterns on your upper thigh and hip. 

You felt yourself freeze as she sleepily mumbled, “Stop overthinking it. Go to sleep.” 

You woke up the next morning and she was already gone. 

Your life with Emily continued on like this for a month. Little things would happen that would make you question your relationship to her and then she’d act as if nothing happened and that you two were just really good friends. 

It was making your mind spin, giving you a constant headache. 

You were almost fed up with the constant see-sawing, ready to talk to her about what was happening, when you two first fell into bed together. 

Another bad case, a late night out at the bar with everyone, and too many shots of tequila. 

You woke up the following morning with a pounding headache, a dry mouth, and fuzzy memories of the night before. All you could remember was the smell of her signature perfume, the feel of lips on skin, and sore muscles. 

You probably would’ve written it off, thought it was just your overactive imagination if it hadn’t been for the rather large bite mark on the inside of your thigh. 

You could feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, especially since the memories were still alluding you. You probably would’ve tried to write it off as a random hook up if it hadn’t been for the fact that Emily had woken up in bed beside you, an almost matching bite mark against her collarbone. 

This time, it was a little harder to write off what had happened. Especially since you were both naked. 

You could feel your mouth opening and closing like a fish, an almost panicked look in your eyes. 

Emily cleared her throat. “Wanna get breakfast?” 

You were never more appreciative and pissed for her nonchalant attitude. 

“Sure,” you said, a sudden burst of confidence hitting you as you got out of bed to head to the bathroom without worrying about covering up. 

You’re pretty sure you heard Emily gasp as you closed the bathroom door, a little victorious smirk playing at your lips. 

Again, you two never talked about what happened. 

It almost seemed like a game. How many days you two could go before stumbling into one of these moments together. 

You made it thirty-six hours without snuggling on the couch for a movie. 

You made it thirty-seven hours without Emily’s hand finding your thigh. 

You made it eighty-eight hours without her kissing you after a night out. 

You made it one hundred and fourteen hours before she was back in your bed. 

Except this time, you were both sober. 

You had almost gotten yourself killed. Not on purpose, just a run in with one of the many psychopaths you deal with at work. Wrong place, wrong time kind of thing. 

But after he’d been placed in cuffs, Emily had this absolutely feral look in her eyes. Uncaged. Like she was seconds away from combusting. 

She drove you home. Like always. But the entire ride was silent. 

You made it into your apartment, the door barely closed behind you before she exploded. “What the fuck were you thinking?” She shouted. 

It made you take a step back. She’d never raised her voice at you before. Emily was breathing heavily, her chest heaving, her fists clenched at her sides. 

You were sure you looked scared, befuddled, bewildered. You couldn’t even process quick enough to say anything before she continued. 

“You almost got yourself killed! He had you pinned to the fucking floor! There’s bruises along your arms from where he touched you!” At this point, you could see Emily almost vibrating with her anger. But you were fairly certain she wasn’t actually angry. At least you hoped not. 

“I can’t believe you would be so reckless to walk into a building alone! You knew what he was capable of! How sneaky he’s been! But you didn’t care!” Emily started pacing around the floor, her eyes wild, but focused on her hands, her fingers twisting around each other. 

You could feel your own misplaced anger starting to race through your veins. “I knew what I was doing! I had cleared the room! I don’t know how he got the jump on me, but how on earth is that my fucking fault, Emily? We split up, like we do to cover the premises, and I drew the short end of the stick!” You let out a breath. “Why are you blaming me? Blame him!” 

She spun around to face you, her nostrils flaring. “I am! But I’m also blaming you!” 

You rolled your eyes, tossed your hands up,” Why? What did I do? Why are you mad at me and yelling at me?” 

“Because you didn’t wait for me!”  

Your eyes caught Emily’s. Beneath the anger, beneath her guarded shell, you could see the fear in her eyes. The realization that something worse than a couple of bruises could have happened. 

You tried to open your mouth, say something, but before you could, Emily muttered a quick “fuck it” before crossing the room to you, crushing her lips to yours. 

Before you knew it, clothes were scattered along the hallway to your bedroom. 

Emily tossed you back onto the bed, her body quickly making its way between your thighs. You quickly wrapped your legs around her waist, dragging her closer to you, tangling your hands in her hair as you brought her down for another heated kiss. 

Emily broke away from you, trailing her lips down the side of your neck, quickly finding the spot behind your ear that made you moan out loud. She spent a considerable amount of time there, making sure to leave her mark before moving lower down your throat, kissing across your collarbones, and down between the valley between your breasts. 

She wasted no time wrapping her lips around your turgid peak, taking satisfaction in the way it made you fist the sheets below you in your hands. She made sure to give the same attention to the other nipple, her hand making sure to not leave the opposite one alone for long. 

Emily could spend hours giving your breasts the attention they deserved, but she was almost as impatient as you seemed to be, so she kept making her way down your body, finding the sweet spots that made you whimper or sigh, making note of them for later. 

You could feel how wet you were already, but with Emily between your legs, you couldn’t get any friction to help the ache that was building. 

“Em, please,” you whispered, almost embarrassed by how much you needed her. The build up from all of the times she was just a little too close, the lingering touches, and even the thought of the last time you two fell into bed together (even though you unfortunately don’t remember much of it). It was driving you crazy. 

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got you,” she smirked at you before swiping her tongue through your wetness. 

“Fuck,” you breathed out, your eyes rolling back a little, one of your hands shooting down to her hair to keep her there. 

Emily ate you out as if her life depended on it, as if she could spend the rest of her life between your legs. She took her time to explore every inch of you, figuring out what moves made you whine, which ones made your entire body shudder, and what made you grip her hair harder. 

It didn’t take long for you to climb towards the edge of your orgasm, but before you could fall over, Emily stopped and pulled away from you. 

The gasp, the outrage on your face almost made Emily laugh out loud. “I love being friends with you,” she snickered at you, a taunting glint in her eyes. 

“Friends don’t do this kind of shit,” you scoffed, flabbergasted at Emily’s ability, even with your juices all over her face, to ignore what was happening between you two. 

You could feel Emily pause, her body tight, afraid to move. She didn’t expect you to lash out, and she could tell you weren’t really happy with her, upset with her disregard of everything. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her hands finding purchase on your hips, her thumbs rubbing back and forth a little. “I never knew how to…address this,” she shrugged. 

You nearly laughed at how small she looked, unable to make eye contact with you. She didn’t have an issue with having her mouth on your pussy two minutes ago, but now she couldn’t look you in the eye. 

“A conversation would’ve been a good place to start, Em. You made me feel like I was going crazy.” 

Her eyes finally caught yours and you could instantly tell that she really did feel sorry. Feelings just weren’t her thing. Before she could apologize again, you cut her off, “We can talk about it after you finish fucking me, Emily.” 

You watched her demeanor transform to something hungrier, cockier, feral. “Yes ma’am,” she mockingly saluted before connecting her lips to yours again, trying to convey everything that she was feeling. 

Her hand traveled down from your hip, stilling at the apex of your thighs, silently asking for permission. You nodded against her, your lips still connected in a heated kiss. 

She teasingly stroked your warm, wet pussy with her hand, gathering your juices on her fingers. She pulled back from your kiss, watching your expression as she slowly thrusted two fingers inside of you. 

You tried to keep eye contact with her, but after the build up of all of the little moments between you, it felt so good to finally have her inside of you. Emily slowly built up to an almost punishing pace, something fast, and hard, and exactly what you needed. Her fingers curled at just the right angle to hit that spot inside of you that made your toes curl and your breath hitch. 

Emily’s other hand made contact with your straining clit, rubbing tight, little circles to match her thrusts. You could feel yourself rushing towards that edge again, a breath away from letting go. 

“Come on, pretty girl. Let go for me.” 

Your release hit you like a freight train, your back arching off of the bed, your mouth open in a silent scream. You felt your muscles tense, the euphoria washing through you, before letting go and relaxing as Emily fucked you through your orgasm. You tried to catch your shallow breath, a light sheen of sweat across your flushed skin, before looking at Emily, your hands starting to dance across her skin. 

Emily’s own hands caught yours, catching the questioning look in your eyes. She kissed both of your palms before tangling your fingers together. “Later, baby. We should talk first.” 

Those words would usually cause a rush of panic to course through your blood, but something about the way that Emily was looking at you put you at ease. 

You took a deep breath, smiling a little at her, kissing her hands in return. “Yeah, we should.” 

She smiled back. 

And she didn’t run.

[dollivication]

dolly!! i was thinking…. who in dmc would be prone to turn into an incel? in my opinion i totally think itd be v LMAOOO but idk i wanna know ur thoughts…. ur always so smart >:3

NAWNIE YOU ARE ONTO SOMETHING!…. analysis mode activ8ed…. sorry for the rant aaa..

so. somehow,, somehow. SOMEHOW. vergil. without really fucking TRYING managed to not only capture the interest of a woman, but also knocked her up. and then he was gone like the wind LMFAO??.. & im thinking that because vergil is so focused on bettering his abilities, on gaining more power (kinda why dmc5 happened)—as much as he might crave romance or someone to simply touch him with warmth deep down inside—just doesn’t have time for that anymore. he’s not a friendly person, and i’m pretty sure he himself is aware of this, so he doesn’t put in the effort to change or put himself out there in hopes of attracting someone because there’s really no point to it. for vergil, time is always ticking, just waiting for the right moment to strike with yet another tragedy. getting laid is most likely the last thing on his mind because he’s got other stuff to worry about, and likely has a low sex drive. overall 12% incel rate methinks.

now lets get the obvious knocked out of the way… nero has kyrie. their relationship is the healthiest one shown on screen, and even if it’s a little odd acknowledging the fact they’re technically step siblings, at least they’re not BLOOD related so LOLS it could be worse. he’s getting kisses and hugs and cuddles on the daily and living a good life with a sweet girl. helps orphans also! he’s also laik.. the most normal compared to the sparda twins and v. has the most valid reactions to crazy shit (i.e frustration, cursing, etc..)…but also because he’s like the most sane, he’s definitely got the occasional need to cum. it’s not a terribly high sex drive but it’s not as low as vergil’s either. considerably moderate, and is probably to be more focused on his gig of devil hunting and taking care of the orphans with kyrie. 15% incel rate methinks—still pretty low.

and here comes dante. look.. that’s.. a flirty man if i’ve ever seen one, a little pervy, but not a complete degenerate. yanno what i mean? like, sure he shamelessly looks at adult mags out in the open, even has some pages of nearly naked women on the wall of the Devil May Cry, but he’s never touched any woman inappropriately. in dmc3, the most he did was get super close to lady and get up all in her face, did try to shoot his shot with her, but when she clearly wasn’t having it he immediately backed off. theyre chill now, and hasn’t exactly shown any flirtatious behavior towards her anymore (not that i’ve seen..),, and in dmc5, he could’ve had the chance to get touchy with trish when he saved her as she was nude, but instead he exhibited nothing but real concern for her wellbeing. (maybe that’s because she looks like his mom, and they’ve been good friends for some time, that it’s a natural reaction. but you’d expect an incel to disregard this and take it as a chance to explore anyway.) so dante’s clearly got morals and some dignity and can control himself. regarding his libido, i’m pretty sure he’s hornier than nero and vergil. if dante sees a pretty person, he won’t be afraid to make his interest known. he’s got a lot on his plate too, and since he doesn’t smoke and isnt a full blown alcoholic, he most likely vents any stress by jerking off. for him there’s probably nothing better than a proper orgasm for temporary relief. he is aware of the disaster that follows him and is too afraid to engage romantically because of it, but i imagine he does want a little something more than his hand and does often crave a relationship.. 33% incel rate

v.. you’re right about him LOL. imagine and put yourself in v’s shoes: a constant desire to be loved which stemmed your former self, endless want for security, new to this world and have no clue how it really works or know what’s taboo and what isn’t with only a few memories to guide you along the way (which don’t really guide you at all, but instead taunt you with the traumas and experiences your former self has undergone, and provide insight about the kind of person you were) but now your own person with a conscience and liberty? curiosity is bound to find you, and there will probably be a lack of understanding of boundaries with others. e.g, if trish hadn’t explicitly stated that she wasn’t eva, v probably would’ve clung to her thinking she was his beloved mother (or at least recognized her as someone he cherished deeply.)… v is probably more prone to developing obsessions that can be unhealthy, and since hes got a human body (he IS the embodiment of vergil’s humanity)—he’s obviously going to have human desires that would be pretty strong. i reckon he wouldn’t know how to deal with himself and would be restless to understand these needs, so he may come off a little too forward to others when asking for assistance. that would undeniably freak people the fuck out and push them away from him even if it’s not intentional on his part. (nero had even questioned v’s motives himself, and v is naturally just.. mysterious yet straightforward at the same. it’s safe to assume others are put off by v’s demeanor too.) 40% incel rate.

soooo… vergil is least likely, followed by nero, then dante, and v is most likely to be prone. methinks anyway :3

[squidthoughts]

pyramid game up to e6 review/minor spoilers under the cut:

this show is SO GOOOODDD sorry i wont shut up about it its like. bro the acting?? jang da-a is EATINGGG like her rage is so palpable and im actively praying on harin's downfall but at the same time love to hate her. also bona is so good playing all the sides of suji's personality but especially her brilliance like i was snapping a few times shes making money movessss. also i generally like the changes from the webtoon, they make the story more character-focused and add some interesting twists, esp with suji's dad. also maybe looks like they are tweaking the harin/jaeun backstory but i guess we'll see. RYU DA-INNNN the woman you are im obsessed, obsessed i tell u. jaeun wettest saddest poorest little meow meow all of her mannerisms her intense shyness but knight in shining armor heart.... THE RAMEN SCENE when she fell on her OWN DAMN FLOOR and suji was like this clumsy bitch?? why is she endearing??? i died they did that for me fr. take a shot every time suji or jaeun sprint like five miles to save the other one. for girls with terrible running form they are doing quite a lot of it. the sujaeun agenda is real and alive and in my spirit. also yerim/eunjeong and the hopelessly devoted childhood first loves of it all. the insane protective streak. let them be happy maybe?? jaeun falls off a swing at one point. if you even care. she is so pathetic and a loser and suji is saving her but she is saving suji and also everyone else and she is ready to sacrifice herself at any moment and she is traumatized and she is constantly whumped and her first instinct is to throw her body between her friends and danger and she was ready to Kill That Damn Man lmfao. she tries to fit a whole Bread in her mouth. i need her carnally

[sortasirius]

sorry im late to the watch party but, is this your first time watching supernatural? 🫣

Anon allow me to share my lore with you for a moment.

I started watch spn in 2012 because tumblr made me and I was 17. I binged it by PURCHASING THE DVDS and literally watching it nonstop. I started watching live pretty early into s8, and then quit the show cold turkey after watching “The Purge” (my nemesis the fat shaming episode).

I didn’t watch spn for a second for 5 entire years after that.

Then, for the laughs, I decided to tune into the 300th episode, intending just to watch that episode and go about my life.

Well, what do you know, cut to a month and a half later and I have binged the show from the beginning again (skipping the purge of course) and start watching the rest of s14 live.

As the ogs know, spn and spn/destiel meta were my LIFE on here. I was one of the ones writing all those theories about s15, about bi Dean (my boy forever) and destiel and everything, and I was literally dead on the money for everything…until the finale. And the finale was such a rug pull and so out of left field (thank you Covid and the fuck ass CW) that I quit the show again.

But spn is like a siren song to me, calling me back. So here I am again, rewatching from the beginning for a THIRD TIME and eating it up just like I did in 2012 and 2018. Maybe I’m just on a six year cycle with the show lmfao.

So my dear and wonderful anon, I have been deep in the trenches for years with this beautiful, stupid, terrible, amazing show, but I will be yelling about it like it’s the first time every time I watch it

[jayflrt]

HAI USER JAYFLRT it's been so long huhu ㅠㅠ was lowkey reading yfi786 silently during exam season ... BUT IM HERE NOW TEEHEE disclaimer : i have so many thoughts but idt it makes sense even in my head TT

the recent chapter was SO GOOD like plot aside, i can never emphasize enough how much i love the way you write. sometimes i revisit your fics that i've alr read and sit in front of my screen and try to understand ur pattern of writing ?? mostly bc i have a terrible habit of incorporating repetition everywhere in my works and that is something i usually don't notice in ur fics so :O js want u to know that ure rlly someone i forward to when it comes to writing ( and like, absolutely fucked up humour too bc ure so funny )

back to the smau, CHAEWON WHEN I CATCH U ... i thought she and yn were getting along, at least to some extent ?? but it made me so mad when she brought it up although i sort of understood where she was coming from idk like maybe bc she had/has some unsolved beef towards yn which mostly roots from heeseung ... but still crazy af to say that in front of everyone!!!! lowkey scared for jay i think everyone will jump him when they know him and yn almost fucked TT

and the hazing ritual had me shook i don't think i would've ever survived that if that happened to me lmfao, tho thanks to svt for being the comedic relief. STEALING THE GOAT PART WAS SO SKJDHKJHDF aaand i loved the heejay cuddle part too i know they're the main pairing and everyone else is js secondary

ANYWAYS im so so excited for the next chapters and the chapters after that too >< got me praying for jay bc i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel for him ... but im gna take ur word when u said u dont rlly like sad endings so jayn r going to end up together ( _ _; )

HI CAEL!! i was saving this ask for when i planned to answer all of the ones in my inbox and kept thinking of getting to it whenever i'd see you on twt 🤧 but here i am sorry for the late response!!! and i hope your exam season went well! manifesting you passing with flying colors 💗

i'm so glad you liked the chapter!! (i think this was for chapter 40 if i'm not mistaken 🥲) but omg please that's so sweet 🥹 but no pls i have that same problem myself, it must be a universal writing habit 🤧 but what i try to do is fix it as i go, like i'll write what comes to mind and tweak my sentences if i catch some repetition LOL idk if that helps but that's what usually works for me!!! and omg it makes me so happy to hear that you look forward to my writing 🥰

chaewon's always been sidelined when it came to mc (especially by heeseung) so she definitely did not have good intentions when she brought that up 😔 another reason for mc to be Very careful about the people she surrounds herself by

i physically cannot add jeonghan in a story without making him a little silly goofy <33 svt are such pookies i had the most fun writing that exchange between hannie and hao LMFAO and omg so true this is actually just a heejay fic and jay/n is just a side pairing sorry guys :/

DONT YOU WORRY i have spent countless hours agonizing over how to flesh out this ending in the best possible way and i am 97% sure i have covered all the bases to get us there (the 3% will be accounted for after i finish the act 2 finale trust 🙂‍↕️) but although i haven't posted a chapter in a hot minute i've been racking my brain to tie all the loose ends together and i think i've done it!! so i'm hyped 😁 it will be a ride ,, i'll hold everyone's hand for the drops

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Boromir and his chaotic hobbit wife #2

(still thinking of a name for her, im considering either magnolia or myrtle...anyway...here's more! once again, this features other members of the fellowship)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Don't ask me what I'm talking about. I don't know, okay? I'm just the vessel. The message has been gifted. I've moved on.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Okay, truth or dare? Boromir: Truth Hobbitess: How many hours have you slept this week? Boromir: Boromir: ...Dare Hobbitess: Go to bed. Boromir: I don't like this game.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is such a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I prevented a murder today. Boromir: Really? How'd you do that? Hobbitess: self control.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I am an expert at identifying birds. Boromir: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Hobbitess: Yeah, they're all birds.

(honestly that one could go either way lmfao)

~~~~~

Boromir: Is something burning? Hobbitess: Just my love for you. Boromir: love, the toaster is on fire.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Change is inedible. Boromir: Don't you mean inevitable? Hobbitess, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

~~~~~

Boromir: You're giving me a sticker? Hobbitess: Not just a sticker.That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me- wow!” Boromir: I'm not a preschooler. Hobbitess: Fine, I'll take it back Boromir: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~

Boromir: Dumbest scar stories, go! Hobbitess: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Merry: I dropped a pan on my leg once and burned it. Pippin: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Sam: I was taking a pot of noodles off of the stove and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Frodo: Frodo: I have emotional scars.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Rules are made to be broken. Boromir: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Merry: Uh, piñatas. Pippin: Glow sticks. Sam: Karate boards. Frodo: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Hobbitess: Rules. Boromir:

(*grumbles in italian about spaghetti*)

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Bye Boromir! Bye Gandalf! Bye Gimli! Bye Aragorn! Bye Boromir! Pippin: You said ‘bye Boromir’ twice. Hobbitess: I like Boromir.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Pippin, can I talk to you for a second? Pippin: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Boromir are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Hobbitess: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

~~~~~

(modern au)

Boromir: Hobbitess and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Aragorn: *Sighing* What did Hobbitess do? Boromir: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and... Hobbitess: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~

Hobbitess, after Boromir's death: ive come to a point in my life where i need a stronger word than "fuck"

~~~~~

fair warning, these next few will probably be spicy

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Well, Boromir and I finally did it! The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.* Hobbitess: That's right... We kissed!

~~~~~

Boromir: I feel like doing something stupid. Hobbitess: I’m stupid, do me.

~~~~~

Boromir: What are you in the mood for? Hobbitess: World domination. Boromir: That's a bit ambitious. Hobbitess: You are my world. Boromir: Aww... Hobbitess: Boromir: Hobbitess: Boromir: OH.

~~~~~

Boromir: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things. Hobbitess: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I like your new pants! Boromir: Thanks, they were 50% off! Hobbitess: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Boromir: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Hobbitess: Thats’s… not what I meant. Boromir: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Hobbitess.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out? Boromir: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: It'll be fun. Hobbitess: We'll make a day of it. Hobbitess: Come on you punk bitch. Boromir: I can't believe I have to say this. Boromir: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Boromir: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Hobbitess: I— Hobbitess: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

~~~~~

Boromir: Wow, Hobbitess, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you. Hobbitess: We literally slept together yesterday. Boromir: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

~~~~~

alright, back to non-spicy stuff

~~~~~

Hobbitess: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Boromir: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Hobbitess: I said within reason, Boromir. How about I murder that guy? Boromir: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Hobbitess: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

~~~~~

Hobbitess: I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship. Boromir: These are handcuffs. Hobbitess: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

~~~~~

Boromir: You have to apologize to them Hobbitess. Hobbitess: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

~~~~~

Pippin: Where did you get that tomato soup? Hobbitess: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

~~~~~

Pippin: My head hurts. Gandalf: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

~~~~~

Gimli: Did you ever have like a pet run away and find it or anything? Hobbitess: I had a lizard that I burnt.

~~~~~

Hobbitess: *Hugs Boromir from behind* Hobbitess: *Tucks Boromir's hair behind his ear* Hobbitess, whispering: Eat all the frosted animal crackers again and they'll never find your body.

~~~~~

Boromir: This is a bad idea. Hobbitess: Then why are you coming along? Boromir: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

~~~~~

Boromir to Hobbitess: Turn that frown upside-down! *a little while later* Boromir: What are you doing? Hobbitess, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

~~~~~

[spookfished]

nov 2023 media roundup

hello again :3 welcome to the world from 2024!! im doing backlogs of media reviews lol. well i was really busy. and then i was super busy playing umineko!! looking back at this month, it seems like i didnt read a whole lot this month, but then i forgot that ruzhui is literally 300 chapters long. so.. a couple of these i read uh quite a few months ago by now so the review might be a bit stale. however i had like 80% of this written for several weeks so theres only a couple! this will be posted on my neocities at some point

books:

ruzhui by please dont laugh: f/f. after a terrible breakup, college yun an is happy to leave her life behind for some TIME TRAVEL! but while disguising herself as a man to avoid discrimination, she gets looped into a matrilocal marriage with businesswoman lin buxian?! intended as a fluffy palate cleanser after pdl's previous work a clear and muddy loss of love, i think it still kinda ended up getting mired in politics two thirds of the way in, when a lot of us were here for the moments with miss malewife yun an and her powerhouse wife? on the other hand, its hard to stretch out fluff for an entire 300 chapters without contriviances. i also really enjoyed how it managed to balance like. idk. 'returning to the simple emotions of the past' with 'holy shit guys the past actually sucked ass lmfao'. its a pretty relaxing read, so id recommend checking it out if youre into f/f!

the devil comes courting by courtney milan: f/m romance. can romance bloom while trying to create the first telegraphic encoding for chinese...? sooo cute im a huge fan of courtney milan as always. surprisingly goes into some pretty heavy topics including like. forced assimilation via child stealing?????? i thought it was well handled though the ldr stuff and the way amelia grows as a person was soo nice

the marquis who mustnt by courtney milan: f/m romance. the son of a conman returns home for one final trick. meanwhile, naomi just wants to take her medic class. the two become engaged on false premises and of course, catch feelings. once again extremely cute im very charmed. also liked the pottery details :3 i think in every fake engagement the whole 'pretending to themselves they dont have feelings' is a little ridiculous so i liked that they just like. acknowledged it at the outset. i think its honestly more compelling to be like 'yes my feelings are sincere and true however X still outweighs '. loove a guy shackled by duty

wandering souls by cecile pin: follows anh and her two siblings, refugees of the vietnam war. ok honestly i dont remember a lot about this book :( sorry but i did like it! its a really fast read and made me really sad so id recommend. (DISCLAIMER: AMERICAN) i also feel like i dont read a lot of non-american diaspora books so thats pretty interesting as well. nice prose also :]

detransition baby by torrey peters: a trans woman who yearns for motherhood, her detransitioned ex-boyfriend, and his pregnant partner struggle to find a way to live--together, or apart? ok sorry this is another review written in january so its kinda weighted more negatively. i had a LOT of thoughts about this in november but i forgot most of them. this novel is a deep look into a very specific kind of queer subculture--a subculture which is both very white and very annoying. sorry. the characters feel like a vivid, true-to-life depiction of the poeple i try to avoid at my little liberal arts college. however, it ALSO feels like the kind of really good gossip that you love to hear secondhand. also, the author shoehorns in discussions of race in ways that are really jarring and also, kinda bad? i honestly really loved the inner voices of all the characters which is why it sucked when i got to suddenly read a copy-pasted twitter thread about intersectional oppression instead. (especially coming from the mouth of a cis wasian woman..?) it feels all the more tokenistic since we immediately go back to the inner struggles of ames and reese instead. ugh. however, it sparked some really interesting conversations with me and my friends. i also got to learn more about ah i guess transfem detransition? as opposed to transmasc detransition. they are very different! um but i guess id recommend?

comics/manga:

surviving romance: action/horror webtoon?? the woman living in the body of a romance novel character is determined to get her picture-perfect happy ever after-- at all costs. everything goes according to plan until the day zombies attack the school. chaerin is forced to bond with the faceless extras of her story, and find out what is rotting at the core of *love every day*. very solid writing!! i like how the author gradually introduces characters, and how the tension ratchets up as more people to care for becomes more people that can be lost. definitely goes into some orv-lite type themes, which i appreciated. i guess my only complaint is that despite the solid execution it didnt really ~wow~ me in any way... still worth checking out though :3

run away with me girl by battan: f/f romanceish? two high school lovers meet again after midori decided that their relationship was just a childish whim. but even though midori has decided shes straight (and is married with a kid on the way!), maki still has feelings for her. dude soooo cute the art style is not personally my thing but i felt like all of the characters were really grounded and the introspective parts were really interesting. some beautifully atmospheric parts! would recommend :3 witch hat atelier kitchen (reread) by shirahama kamome: a spinoff of witch hat atelier, where the two teachers qifrey and olrugio make food together after hours! gorgeous art as always, and some cute recipes too! i reread this since an official english translation came out lol. monotone blue: short furry m/m about apathetic, aloof cat hachi, who meets aoi--a shy transfer student who happens to be the only lizard in the whole school. pretty lighthearted for the most part, but also heavily implied a sexual assault scene?? or at least the vibes?? in a way that treated it far too lightly and left a bad taste in my mouth. possibly worth reading for the art, but idk :/ definitely falls into the romance trap of having a love interest go "ill save you from these bad guys!" for like a cheap plot device and then not really going into it

movies/tv:

parasite: class-focused comedic thriller? the kim family finds a way out of choking poverty by working for the extremely affluent park family. its almost too easy--until it isnt. man everyone says parasite is so good. AND IT IS!!! i cant believe i took so long to see this movie i got to see it with some friends over thanksgiving break and it was so good :] had me stressed for my fucking life sitting at the edge of my seat. has a lot of meat to bite into analysis-wise but is also just so crushing in many ways.. the ending stuck in my head for a long time. rewatching it this january was honestly more stressful in some ways haha

revolutionary girl utena: allegory-heavy commentary on shoujo and princess narratives and the nature of heroism and-- f/f. utena is a girl who aspires to be just like the prince of her dreams. she is somehow wrapped up into an engagement with anthy himemiya, who calls herself "the rose bride." ahhhh i still havent watched the last two episodes actually. people always say "utena is a fantastic show but PLEASE mind every single trigger warning" and its true! utena tackles some really heavy subjects in a way that is delicate, understated, and vicious. i watched a bunch of these episodes late at night in the computer lab and they honestly left me breathless. has so many layers of symbolism to dig through that it can honestly be overwhelming, but also very compelling just on the surface! watch utena. also watch this amv https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THN3gYKYojs

the wonderful story of henry sugar: a netflix adaptation of one of roald dahls stories (within a story). it was cute :3 not a lot of sticking power lol but i think this is the first wes anderson production ive ever watched. very visually distinctive!

video games:

lethal company: cooperative horror game about trying to collect garbage in a dystopically capitalist world ft. proximity chat! dude this game is blowing tf up i tried playing it with neil but 1. we are huge pussies 2. its really only feasible with 3+ people

music:

TILT by nanoray: anime breakcore is one of my truly guilty pleasures. i see the anime girl on the cover and cringe a little bit HOWEVER nanoray is a really good artist. the intro is so liquid... i think the album as a whole really just sweeps you up into a groove. some of my favorite tracks are into and DOGWALK2000 THE LONELIEST TIME by carly rae jepsen: i was so mean to carly rae jepsen in middle school. im so sorry miss jepsen i was just so tired of hearing call me maybe everywhere. im now a changed man. just a really well constructed pop album 👍admittedly not as iconic to me as emotion, but joshua tree and talking to yourself are my favorites atm SAYONARA WILD HEARTS OST: ive never played sayonara wildheart, but i think its a rhythm game about girls fighting each other on motorcycles? with bisexual lighting and tarot cards? but anyways this is a synth-y lush pop album thats super fun! it feels like it tells a story (probably bc it does) and it always makes me want to listen all the way through :3 my favorites are sayonara wild heart and their clair de lune remix

anyways if you read to the end, thanks as always! its really interesting to try and condense my thoughts about something into one paragraph.. sometimes its easier than others huh! im almost done with the december one so please look forward to that 👍