#i did this instead and then spent 5 mins debating if i actually wanted to post any of them bc of the fear of ppl being weird lmao

[bittwitchy]

CS: Samara Weaving and Robert Pattinson.

[songofsaraneth]

Ok now that I have time/space to breathe again, I wanted to do a writeup on the unusual reaction I had to the second Covid vaccine dose. I debated posting this, because I don't want to go against the "I was vaccinated and it's fine!" encouragement train. And I 1000% encourage EVERYONE to get vaccinated if possible. But I have not seen much documentation of the averse symptom I got, except in some case studies I specifically looked up so details below. Big TMI/gross warning however. 

Mostly I'm posting this because I had to do SO much self-advocating/arguing with the Dr at my urgent care clinic, and if you're not as read up on weird medical issues as I am, you might not be comfortable doing that. But IANAD, just describing my experience and what I read, which ended up being very long because it was awful and I have a lot to complain about I guess, sorry.

Basically: for me the vaccine triggered an inflammation response, which in itself is normal. The usual muscle aches/joint pain/slight fever. It also triggered an outbreak of ulcers in my soft tissues. Basically, a bunch of canker sores in my mouth/throat. I am already prone to getting these when I get sick or stressed out, so no biggie, annoying and painful but I could handle them. Canker sores are distinct from cold sores in that they form inside the mouth as crater spots, usually around the size of a pencil eraser (though can be bigger or smaller), and will develop a white film across the crater as they develop and start to heal.

An unfortunate fact I have learned: the mouth is not the only exposed “soft tissue” of the body. this group also includes genitals.

So 2 days after the vaccine I noticed a "burning sensation"/rawness downstairs, which turned into a sharp pain, especially when going to the bathroom. I obviously knew this was abnormal and because of what was happening in my mouth, had a pretty firm idea of what was happening, but was ready to brace myself through the healing process. However by day 5 I had 8 red, crater-like sores on the tissue of my vulva. Essentially they are open wounds, and urine is an acid, so you can imagine the hell that using the bathroom had become. Even just sitting hurt.

As someone healthcare-averse, even I knew this was untenable, and went to Urgent Care for the first time in my adult life. I told the NP what was going on, how they matched the canker sores (NOT cold sores) in my mouth in onset/form--and she immediately, without even looking, diagnosed me with herpes.

Lots of people have herpes or other STIs, and that's fine. I know I do not have any, and wanted to pursue treatment for what I was sure they were--Non-sexually acquired genital ulceration (NSGU). I had even found three case studies of COVID patients who had developed them. I had spent several harrowing hours on google images making sure that the sores I had did not match any STI I may have magically acquired during a year of social distancing. I even brought up multiple case studies, including a woman who had them as a Covid reaction in a neighboring state. Didn’t matter. She looked at them and went “Yikes! Herpes!” and prescribed me: 

1) an antiviral, which I said I did not think would do anything because the trigger for this was a vaccine not an illness. She said it was probably a herpes flare up already in my system. I reiterated that I have had similar sores in my mouth since childhood and that all my past doctors and dentists agreed it was not viral but something related to an immune response. She said the antivirals should clear them up in a few days.

2) a topical 5% lidocaine ointment, aka an oral grade numbing gel, which was essentially what I was after anyway.

I would have preferred a steroid course to the antiviral, but agreed to start taking them until she got the results of the bloodwork I needed to come in the next day for. I asked how many days after taking them I would expect to see a difference/if she would reevaluate treatment if they didn’t have an effect in a certain amount of time, and she said if they hadn’t cleared up by Monday then she’d look into other causes (spoiler, they did nothing in that 4 day span). to her credit, when she saw me pick up my bike helmet (because my car had been at the mechanic for a month by then), she was properly horrified that i was having to bike everywhere with this situation and printed off some coupons/called all the prescriptions into the grocery store pharmacy next door instead of the CVS my insurance likes a mile away.

So eventually I got home and took my pill & went to put on the ointment so I could use the bathroom for the first time in 8 hours. I’ll spare you the details but suffice to say I had an extremely, overwhelmingly painful 10 minutes of application. Like absolutely awful burning feeling. However once that faded, I was indeed actually numb, and so I figured it was worth it. Got my bloodwork done on Friday (biking there & home again). On Saturday, I thought that you know, maybe a prescription anesthetic shouldn’t be doing that or at least have some sort of warning? And read the details on the jar.

Good things about lidocaine: it is a powerful numbing agent and lasts pretty well for an hour or two.

Bad things about lidocaine: you cannot get oral grade lidocaine without added mint flavoring.

I happen to be EXTREMELY sensitive to mint. Like I still can’t handle breath mints or mouthwash, and used bubblegum flavored toothpaste until I was 14 and found a brand with half as much mint flavoring as is typical. Even if you’re not, mint has no business being anywhere near genital tissue. Even on an average person that could cause awful burning. to make a long saga shorter I had a very frustrating back-and-forth with urgent care involving many rerouted phone trees, visit in person, unhelpful receptionists, and attempts to find over-the-counter alternatives. All were fruitless so I just  suffered all weekend until the urgent care Nurse Practitioner called me back on Monday and was suitably apologetic/outraged about the mint thing, and looked up every OTC product that might work as a substitute, since she couldn’t find any prescription level without mint. On Tuesday she called back again having found this:

It’s 4%, so just below prescription strength, while not oral grade, it’s actually fine for soft tissues as long as not fully ingested/internally applied. And most importantly, ABSOLUTELY NO ADDED FLAVORINGS. there is also a spray version that comes in a bottle, which under no circumstances should you try because it uses alcohol as a propellant and I had a very bad 5 minutes after testing that one. But the cream one is fine and brings blessed numbness in around 5 minutes with only minimal contact pain--they are still open wounds after all. 

I use this for the next 7 days. By this point the sores have gotten worse and larger, and then started to heal and shrink again. Mouth canker sores go through a similar ~2 week process, so this is about what I expected.

Finally the results of my bloodwork came back, and I was negative for all STIs. The NP was dumbfounded and apologized, and agreed to look up more information/treatment options for cases like this in the future. I’m not surprised her reaction was to assume herpes as it IS very common, but I’m sure other women experience NSGU’s and receive improper treatment. If you look them up, they’re even mentioned as being predominantly a problem for “young or prepubescent women” which, reading between the lines--it’s not that these become less likely if you’re older or sexually active. Doctors just make assumptions and don’t always look past the easy answers.

So if you or someone you know ends up with these--from the Covid vaccine or as a complication of upper respiratory infections in general (as they ARE an immune response and can just Happen to you)--here is what works as treatment. If you can see a doctor you trust, still do that. But if they don’t listen or if for some reason you can’t seek treatment, here is the course of action I recommend: 

Pick up that over-the-counter Pain Relief+Lidocaine NON MINTY numbing cream ASAP. Sores go from “annoying” to “excruciating” in only 3 days, so it’s best to get in person or with rush shipping. Sit in front of a mirror and gently apply with a q-tip, and wait 5 minutes for the medicine to take effect.

Pat gently dry with toilet paper, don’t make wiping motions. If you don’t feel clean enough, pat more with a wet washcloth and rinse it out, or hope in the shoer for 5 min just to rinse.

There may be pus or reside from the ointment that doesn’t go away with just rinsing. Every 2 days I made a half-strength bath of epsom salts, NUMBED FULLY, and then took a 10 minute bath to fully cleanse the area. the salt will sting terribly if you wait any longer, so I recommend standing and rinsing after this time.

The vulva is more exposed to air than the mouth. this may cause the sores to crack/bleed as they dry out. to avoid this, after using the restroom and cleaning yourself, you can apply a thick coating of Aquaphor on top of the sores. It will need to be rinsed off before you apply more numbing cream however, so if that is too many steps I recommend just using the Aquaphor overnight.

You may think its ok to get up in the middle of the night to pee without the numbing cream bc you have to go really bad and just once will be fine but it is NOT you will REGRET IT.

Unfortunately if you have sores on both sides you may develop what is known as “kissing sores”, aka sores directly opposite each other that touch when the area is not spread open. this means that after an extended period of time (overnight), the sores will try to heal into each other and opening the area back up painfully rips the tissue apart. INStEAD of ripping them apart, take a washclosh, run it under warm water, and do a hot/warm compress on the area. this will loosen the sores back up and separate them painlessly.

This is not exclusive to people with a vulva, they can also happen on scrotal/anal tissue. However it does seem to much more frequently affect people with typical XX sex organs. 

If you develop these, PLEASE fill out an averse reaction form or your country’s equivalent. Also, I’m so sorry and if you need emotional support or have questions please feel free to get in touch.

Most likely, these will not happen to you--the vast majority of vaccinated people have not had this as a side effect. But it IS popping up more and more, and it is good to know about it in advance so you can be prepared to deal with and treat it without as much anxiety and all the hoops I had to jump through to get good care. Overall I’m still glad to be vaccinated, but if I had known this was a side effect, as someone already prone to canker sores I would have waited to vaccinate until my car was fixed a week later a the very least :|

[rctribvtns]

 ok  so,  i’ve  never  done  one  of  these  before  so  bear  with  me.  under  the  cut  are  a  few  wanted  connections  i’ve  come  up  with,  as  well  as  the  connections  that  nova’s  already  filled  for  other  muses  so  i  can  keep  track  of  them.

  PSA.   they’re  first  come  first  serve  (  and  i’ll  try  to  keep  it  updated  )  so  if  you  like  it  then  you  shoulda  put  a  ring  on  it  !!   also  if  none  of  these  tickle  your  fancy,  i’m  100%  on  board  to  brainstorm  a  few  different  ideas.  

PLATONIC.

(  the  “ twin  sister ”  )  :  see  wanted  connection  on  the  main.  [0/1]

(  the  ‘  bad  dads  club ’  connection  )  :  this  character  is  also  a  resident  of  hades  cabin.   they  both  have  some  abandonment  issues  when  it  comes  to  dads  and  over  time  they  became  confidantes.  they’re  not  the  kind  of  people  who’d  come  right  and  say  hey  i’ve  got  your  back,  but  if  someone  was  messing  with  the  other  they’d  step  up  and  square  up.  [  1/1  taken  by  tam. ]

(  the  '  best  friends ’  )  :   inspiration:  the  golden  trio.    muse  a  is  someone  nova  clicked  with  almost  instantly  upon  arriving  at  camp  half-blood.  preferably  this  person  would  have  been  in  hermes  cabin  approx.  5  years  ago.  whether  they  were  the  claimed  child  of  a  god  with  no  cabin,  or  an  unclaimed  half-blood,  they  bonded  over  shared  interests  and  compatible  personalities.   when  nova  wants  to  get  into  a  little  trouble,  or  do  something  stupid,  this  person  isn’t  far  behind.   muse  b  is  someone  they  initially  clashed  with  —  maybe  over  their  differences,  or  something  petty  like  cutting  their  favorite  shirt  with  a  blade  during  weapons  training.   whatever  the  reason,  it  was  petty,  and  they  remained  at  odds  with  each  other  until  they  all  went  on  a  quest  together.   this  bonded  them  all  instantly  and  they’ve  been  near-inseparable  ever  since.   this  person  also   tries  to  be  the  logical  one  and  keep  muse  a  and  nova  from  running  their  lives  into  the  ground.  [ 1/2  muse  b  taken  by  zach. ]

(  the  ‘  tentative  friends ’  )  :  when  they  first  met,  they  did  not  get  along.  he  was  very  angry,  finding  it  unfair  that  he  was  shoved  into  hermes  cabin  without  a  place  he  really  belonged,  and  they  argued  about  this.   in  fact,  they  argued  a  lot.   so  much  so  that  it  eventually  culminated  in  a  big  fight  where  he  got  his  ass  handed  to  him.  ever  since,  he’s  pulled  his  head  out  of  his  ass  a  little  and  they’ve  become  tentative  friends.   there’s  mutual  respect  there,  though  it’s  unclear  what  else,  and  their  friendship  is  probably  best  described  as  friends  adjacent.   that  all  might  change  though  if  she  goes  through  with  their  dare  from  her  cabin  mates  to  make  him  fall  for  her.   [  filling  lily’s  wanted  connection.  ]

(  the  ‘  tour  guide ’  )  :   when  he  arrived  at  camp  half-blood,  he  had  quite  the  chip  on  his  shoulder.  he  was  on  the  outs  with  his  family,  recently  claimed,  and  feeling  the  sting  of  rejection  to  find  out  that  hades  kids  were  lumped  into  the  other  cabin.   he  was  probably  a  brat  at  first,  kind  of  impossible  to  be  around,  but  this  person  somehow  looked  past  it  and  helped  him  adjust  to  life  at  camp  which  he  did  appreciate  —  even  if  he  sucked  at  showing  it.  [0/1]

(  the  ‘  competitive  friends ’  )  :  nova  has  filled  this  connection  for  jesse. competitive  friends .   they’re  rivals ,  in  every  sense  of  the  word .  equal  in  fighting  prowess  and  in  shit - talking  abilities ,  the  only  place  they  can  seem  to  get  some  really  good  competition  is  in  the  other .  as  a  result ,  they  spend  a  lot  of  time  going  head  to  head  in  the  arena  or  debating  over  something  stupid  in  the  mess  hall  at  dinner .  neither  of  them  hate  each  other ,  though  it  might  look  like  that  sometimes .

(  the  ‘  sparring  partner  ’  )  :   nova  has  filled  this  connection  for  finn.   finn   isn’t   the   best   at   fighting   hand - to - hand   combat   ,   but   they’re   partners   during   practices   !   maybe   they   teach   him   a  bit   of    what   they   know   and   he   returns   the   favor   somehow   . 

(  the  '  salt  bae ’  )  :   these  two  gravitate  towards  each  other  when  they  want  to  be  shady,  or  pessimistic,  and  aren’t  looking  to  hear  empty  platitudes  to  try  and  make  them  feel  better.  they’re  both  a  little  emo,  jaded  about  the  world  around  them,  and  there’s  a  quiet  kind  of  kinship  shared  between  them  as  a  result.  [  1/1  taken  by  autumn.  ]

(  the  ‘  slow  burn  friend ’  )  :   this  character  was  also  in  hermes  cabin.  they  bonded  over  mutual  annoyances  at  being  grouped  in  with  the  others,  among  other  things.  stargazing  on  the  roof  of  their  cabin  was  something  they  shared  together,  and  continued  to  even  after  they  were  claimed  and  nova  remained  in  the  hermes  cabin.  over  time  they  became  friends,  though  nova  couldn’t  point  to  one  specific  moment  to  identify  when  it  actually  happened.   [ 1/1  taken  by  min. ]

ROMANTIC.

(  the  ‘  will  they  /  won’t  they ’  )  :   for  two  years,  nova  and  this  person  danced  around  each  other.  maybe  they  went  out  once  or  twice,  or  maybe  they  just  talked  about  doing  it  and  it  never  happened,  but  it  was  probably  well  known  that  these  two  had  a  thing  for  each  other  and  it  just  never  panned  out.  [0/1]

(  the  ‘  unlikely  crush ’  )  :   on  paper,  these  two  people  have  nothing  in  common.   this  other  muse  is  a  kind  person,  the  kind  of  person  who  you’d  think  would  get  under  nova’s  skin  and  irritate  him  with  their  goodness,  but  instead  he  started  to  crush  on  them.   in  turn,  it  probably  made  him  more  of  a  jerk  towards  them.   whether  they’re  on  good  terms  or  not  now  is  undetermined.  [  2/2  taken  by  avalon  and  fernanda.  ]

(  the  ‘  first  kiss ’  )  :    they  meet  at  a  carnival.  his  mother’s  working  her  stand  and  he  decides  to  play  hooky  for  the  day.   he  meets  this  other  muse,  they  spend  the  day  together,  and  sparks  fly.   on  the  ferris  wheel,  at  the  end  of  a  day  well-spent,  they  kiss.   it’s  his  very  first  and  it’s  kind  of  a  perfect  one.  they  exchange  numbers  but  he  accidentally  washes  it  off  his  hand.   he  hopes  to  see  her  again,  to  make  contact,  but  the  carnival  picks  up  and  moves  the  next  day  and  they  never  see  each  other  again.   until  now.   [ 1/1  taken  by  harper. ]

(  the  ‘  exploited  crush ’  )  :   this  muse  is  someone  that  nova  realized,  pretty  early  on,  had  a  crush  on  him.  they  weren’t  very  subtle  but  they  sure  thought  they  were.  the  other  muse  never  made  a  move  —  and  nova,  admittedly,  wasn’t  really  interested  —  but  he  never  said  anything  because  he  liked  the  attention.   maybe  your  muse  has  finally  worked  up  the  courage  to  say  something,  or  has  started  to  pick  up  on  signs  that  he  knows.   [0/1]

(  the  ‘  hook-ups  ’  )  :  this  one  goes  without  explanation.  brief  flings,  no  real  commitments,  just  teen  hearts  beating  faster,  faster.  we  can  flesh  out  whether  it  was  a  one-time  thing,  or  a  friends  with  benefits  situation,  but  real  feelings  were  never  factored  into  the  equation.  [ 1/5  taken  by  delia.  ]

(  the  ‘  unrequited  crushee  ’  )  :  nova  has  filled  this  connection  for  abel. unrequited  crush  a .   abel  is  absolutely  obsessed  with  them ,  but  they  barely  know  he  exists .  he  isn’t  even  a  blip  on  their  radar ,  despite  the  fact  that  he  goes  out  of  his  way  to  be  where  they  are  most  of  the  time . 

ADVERSARIAL

(  the  ‘  mess  of  an  ex  ’  )  :  this  muse  isn’t  necessarily  a  mess,  but  their  relationship  definitely  was.  it  was  nova’s  first  and  only  serious  relationship  and  it  didn’t  go  well.  he  was  allergic  to  commitment,  constantly  throwing  himself  in  quickly  and  then  getting  cold  feet  and  being  wishy  washy  about  where  they  stood,  which  led  to  the  inevitable  dissolution  of  the  relationship.   this  muse  wasn’t  very  patient  with  him,  irritated  by  his  behavior,  and  when  they  split  it  was  very  ugly.   we’re  talking  screaming  at  each  other  out  by  the  lake,  a  capsized  canoe,  and  probably  people  taking  bets  on  which  one  of  them  was  going  to  make  it  back  alive.  there’s  love  there,  there  always  was,  but  their  problems  outweighed  any  of  the  good  times.  [ 1/1  taken  by  dromeda. ]

(  the  ‘  anything  you  can  do,  i  can  do  better ’  )  :   these  two  muses  have  been  at  each  other’s  throats  for  years.  instead  of  just  being  competitive,  challenging  each  other  to  be  better,  they’ve  made  it  their  personal  goals  to  best  the  other  person.   possibly  to  their  own  detriment,  or  sanity.   why  they  hate  each  other  doesn’t  even  matter  at  this  point,  bonus  points  if  they  can’t  even  remember,  but  the  petty  rivalry  runs  rampant  and  they  argue  and  compete  over  everything.   literally  everything,  big  or  small.  [ 1/1 taken  by  brooklyn. ]

[sighobii]

Zealous (Part 5)

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Jung Hoseok (SOPE), Min Yoongi x Park Jimin (YOONMIN)

Genre: Angst, (eventual) fluff

Summary: “you know that feeling where you’re in love with your best friend who’s in love with your other best friend? yeah. that shit sucks.”

in which jung hoseok is utterly, utterly in love with a man named min yoongi

Length: 1,548 words

Warnings: Language

Prev // Part 5 // next

“Don’t you think you were a bit harsh”?

Jimin took his mug of coffee, and sat down on the couch.

“It’s called tough love. We all need it.”

The feelings of confusion filled up Yoongi. Taehyung had hurt Hoseok over and over, he couldn’t understand why anyone would go back.

Hoseok was an actual ball of sunshine, in Yoongi’s mind, anyhow. He lit the room up when he walked in, yet he’d let someone like Kim Taehyung turn that switch off.

He couldn’t understand that.

It took Hoseok months to get over it, yet he still goes back. “I think it’d be better if you didn’t curse at him, though” Jimin spoke with a concerned look. He’s never seen his boyfriend so angry before, and didn’t know how to mitigate it.

“It’s not the first time I’ve told him this. He can handle it” Yoongi replied, as he flipped through the channels on tv with a blank expression. His face was opaque, his lover couldn’t tell what was going through his mind.

Jimin rubbed his hand and held it tightly.

“Yoongs, I love him, but... he can make his own decisions, babe. He’s not little.”

“How about we don’t talk about this anymore, yeah”?

Yoongi had several reasons to dislike Taehyung.

However, even when Hoseok first got with Taehyung, he disliked it.

Almost feelings of... jealousy?

He didn’t want to hear or think about how Taehyung would caress his face, poke his dimples, hold his hands, kiss his beautiful honey skin, and hold him, not realizing he had the universe in his arms.

He didn’t want to hear them laugh together, talk about their future together.

It was an internal debate, whether he felt jealous because of his best friend being stolen by someone he disliked, or if he was jealous because he’s in love with Hoseok.

He figured it was the former.

He realized being in love with him would be dangerous. It’s a terrifying thought.

Hoseok’s probably never even thought of it. They’re best friends. Always have been and always will be. It’s for the best. Besides, he has Jimin. You can never complain when you have Jimin. And he was pretty damn in love with Jimin.

At least he thinks so. No, he’s pretty sure of it.

“How about we watch a movie until he comes home, okay? You need to calm down a little.” Jimin grabbed the remote and searched through channels as he let Yoongi rest his head on his shoulder.

It was about 10 at night. Hoseok was beat.

He spent the whole day with Taehyung, even though he knew it was a stupid decision. They did the usual, which had him disappointed.

They made out, cuddled, but he left. He promised (himself) he wouldn’t spend the night, and was set on keeping that promise. At least he followed through, and that was enough for him to not completely hate himself.

Although, he’d have to face an angry Yoongi, who would bicker at him as if he were a mom.

Hoseok flipped through his numerous keys, and opened up the door to the apartment. The lights were off, with the exception of light coming from the television. Yoongi and Jimin were asleep on the couch in the living room. A blanket draped over the two, empty coffee mugs on the little table aside them. They looked perfect together. Adorable, comfortable, you name it.

He sighed, too exhausted to even dwell on the image in front of him. He trudged to his room, not bothering to flicker on the lights when he got there. He immediately went to sleep as soon as his body hit the bed.

“Good morning to you, too, sunshine.”

Yoongi drank his morning dose of black coffee. It was 6:30am, and the two roommates had work.

Hoseok looked dead. His eyes were red, bags darker than how his soul felt at the moment. The sunshine doesn’t sport this look too well, according to the enraged pipsqueak who’s criticizing the decisions the other made the night prior.

“Not in the mood to talk. Tired.” Hoseok ate a piece of bread with butter on it, all without facing Yoongi.

“Being mad at me isn’t going to reverse what you did last night, you know?” Yoongi sighed. “You have no right to be mad, anyway.” Hoseok froze.

He’s not sure “mad” is the right word here.

“I don’t want to talk about what happened last night,” he said with a straight face.

“You can’t keep going back to him. I thought you were over him, Hobi. Don’t you remember the bullshit he put you through?” “I’m not a child, Yoongi. I can do what I want. I never said I was still into him. I’m not going back. He’s just a friend.” Hoseok felt tears well up in his eyes. Maybe if he hadn’t felt so enamored about Yoongi, he’d chase after Taehyung.

But Yoongi can’t know that. “I know you better than anyone else. Don’t lie to me, please. I have no idea what’s gotten into you, but talk to me when you’ve gotten it out of your system.”

And just like that, he left to work, leaving the sunshine alone. Hoseok choked up his tears and got ready to go to work.

2:30 PM

Hoseok’s day was just about over, he taught his last group of kids, and was about to leave.

That is, until Park Jimin decides to come in.

“Hey, Hobi!” Jimin lit up the break room with his smile. Hoseok felt a bit envious of that smile. That smile managed to capture Min Yoongi’s heart.

“Hey” was all he could manage to blurt out.

“Are you okay? I was there when Yoongi called you. You guys didn’t fight, did you...?” He had a worried look on his face. “I guess you could say that. I’m fine though, Jiminie. I just hung out with Tae yesterday.” Of course, Jimin knows the whole ordeal, but he’s not quite as aggressive as his lover is. He realizes he can’t really stop Hoseok from doing what he wants.

“I’ll try to talk to him, okay? I know he can be...”

“I know. Thank you Jiminie.”

On his way home, Hoseok stopped by Namjoon’s place.

He had to let out his feelings to someone, at least.

“You look like shit, man.”

“Thanks, Jungkook. That’s what a man always wants to hear.”

A tall, muscular man with chocolate brown hair answered the door. He wore tight black jeans with a large black sweater.

Jungkook. The youngest of Hoseok’s friends, he works as a dancer and choreographer at a studio. His talent definitely doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You lookin’ for Joon?” “I’m at his house for a reason.” “Boy troubles?” “I never said anything about a boy.”

“Please, Hoseok. You’re not slick. I can tell you have the hots for your roommate.” Jungkook winked and shot a bunny smile at the older. “I don’t blame you, I’d tap that”

Hoseok pushed Jungkook aside and entered, closing the door behind them. “You’re gross. Where’s Joonie?”

“You rang?”

In came Namjoon, wearing glasses and holding his little white puppy. Behind him was Seokjin, smiling at his surprise guest.

“Hey Joon, Hey Seok #2.”

“Can you stop saying that? I’m the eldest. I’m your hyung!”

“...Anyways, what’s Jungkook doing here?” Hoseok was puzzled, Jungkook didn’t visit too often. Usually, he’d invite them all out somewhere. “Hey, I’m allowed to visit without reason!” Jungkook pretended to be offended.

“He wanted to pet the dog.” Namjoon said, bluntly.

“It’s a cute dog. But what are you doing here, Hobi?” “You said it first, didn’t you?”

“What happened this time?” Namjoon already knew what it was. He saw the bags under Hoseok’s eyes, how unhappy he seemed. He’s not used to this site. Hoseok is a happy, extroverted ball of sunshine. Who almost never complains, but instead is a shoulder to lean on. Someone who brightens the room.

His spirit was broken. And that hurt Namjoon.

And so, Hoseok told the three of them everything. From Taehyung, to the little argument with Yoongi.

“That means he cares a lot. I know Yoongi, he cares about you. He doesn’t hate you, Hoseok. He could never hate you.” Seokjin had him in his arms, rubbing his hand as comfort. “You know him better than we do. It’ll be okay.”

“Hyung loves you more than anyone. I know that, at least.” Jungkook wasn’t the best at advice, but he loved Hoseok and wanted to cheer him up.

“I think you should tell him.”

Hoseok looked at Namjoon with a surprised look. Almost scared. He didn’t want to ruin this friendship, and he felt he’d be doing just that if he confessed. “Hear me out, okay? I don’t want to keep seeing you like this. This isn’t you. You can’t keep it in this long! You have to let it out to him. It’s not going to ruin anything, you’ve been friends for too long. Who knows, it might work out. If it doesn’t— at least you have closure so you can get over it. Don’t live in the unknown, Hobi. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Hoseok took in a deep breath.

“Well, I guess I don’t have a choice, now, do I?”

(A/N: gettin hot in here)

Masterlist

[sopeinthesink]

SoulEnemies // MYG

Prompt: By the age of 10, nearly everyone has developed two tattoos, one on each arm. Each one is a date and a time, and one is when you’ll meet your soulmate. But the other is when you’ll meet your worst enemy. Until the closer date, most people worry about which will come first, but not you. Because your dates and times are exactly the same.

Pairing: Reader x Min Yoongi

Words: 5321 

This will probably become a series, so let me know if you guys want more!

You never asked for this. None of your friends had double numbers, so why were you one of the unlucky few in the world who did? What had you done to deserve this? It drew people to stick their noses into your privacy, wondering for the fiftieth time that week when your date would arrive.

As a young child, the discovery that you had double numbers was earth-shattering. You had always dreamt of how you would meet your soulmate first, and when the day arrived that your enemy came around, the two of you would be ready for them. Your partner would be there to protect you from your enemy and would be your knight in shining armor.

Instead, the universe decided you were the one in a billion that it would play jokes on. The day your first tattoo appeared, scripted on the inside of your left wrist, you immediately ran to your mother and father, eagerly awaiting the day that your second tattoo would appear.

It was over a year that you waited with bated breath. When you felt that somewhat familiar itching beneath your skin, you were in the middle of a silent reading period. However, you were anything but silent as your heart stopped in your chest at the sight of those numbers. The whole class whipped around to look at you as you sat there, your young mind grappling with the reality set out on your wrists.

The teacher rushed back to scold you, before stopping in her tracks as she noticed what you were gaping at. You were excused for the day, which then turned into a week off from school. You spent that entire week crying about how unfair everything was, and your parents tried to comfort you, but nothing would ease your pain.

Now, tomorrow was the date that had been written on your wrists for the past 12 years. You had grown somewhat numb to the whole idea that, no matter where you went tomorrow, your soulenemy, as you had wittily called them for the last 11 years, would find you at the exact time on your wrist, no matter the location.

You wished you felt something other than a bundle of nerves at the bottom of your stomach. Your friends had wished you luck, but you knew ever since the age of nine that luck had never been on your side. You simply laid in bed that night, contemplating what you would do tomorrow, how you would carry yourself. You could be standoffish and cool, but that might cause unnecessary hostility. You could be quiet and polite, but that might allow them to walk all over you.

Pushing away these thoughts, you took a deep breath. No matter what happened tomorrow, you were stuck with them, and they were stuck with you. So you would have to find a way to make it work.

The weather was awful the next morning, at least in your mind. It had snowed overnight, and the white flakes still fell silently from the sky. You hated winter and everything cold, and you were oh so reluctant to leave the warmth of your bed. Sliding on a pair of thick socks before your feet touched the cold floor, you slowly stood from your cocoon of blankets.

You went about your normal morning, making yourself a cup of tea because coffee was too bitter for your taste. Rummaging through the cupboards of your small kitchen, you found a box of breakfast bars and grabbed two before setting down on the crappy couch in front of the crappy tv. This apartment had been the only thing you could afford on a living made only by small gigs in coffee shops and the occasional college party. It had come fully furnished, and though the furniture wasn’t nice by any means, you weren’t complaining.

Turning the television on, you flipped through the eight channels you had access to without a working cable box, stopping on a news channel. It depicted a nearby record label, one that you knew well. It was known as Monster D Records, co-owned by three of the most successful rappers in the game: Kim Namjoon, aka Rap Monster, Jung Hoseok, aka J-Hope, and Min Yoongi, aka Suga. The three men had once been part of a successful group that had had since disbanded, and their music was nothing that interested you, similar to their label. Every artist they came out with was an R&B or hip-hop star, and that had always been one of your least favorite genres.

The news anchor’s voice drew you from your thoughts. “In other news, the owners of Monster D Records are holding their biannual company dinner party tonight. Stars from all over the world have been invited, and we will be back later tonight to bring you exclusive coverage of the event, so tune in at six o’clock tonight for our special program!” Scoffing, you took the remote and turned the device off. Gazing down at your arms, you traced the date and time on your left wrist.

November 18, 2017

6:19 pm

They obviously hadn’t changed in the time you had them, and you didn’t expect them to change. You just wished they were different…

Moving off the couch, you went to go shower and change. After turning on the water to hopefully warm it up, you put on your favorite playlist, placed your phone on the bathroom counter, and got undressed. By the time you got in, the water was lukewarm at best, but you’d come to expect that. Singing along quietly with the music from your phone, you grabbed the bottle of shampoo on the little ledge on the wall and began to wash your hair. However, mid-line your music was interrupted by your ringtone. Shampoo still in your hair, you reached out of the shower to check who it was. Perhaps our best friend wishing you luck for the day? Or your mother giving her condolences about what you’d have to go through today?

It turned out to be neither of those, but instead a number you’d never seen before. You hesitated, debating if you should answer. The only thing that made you press the answer icon was the fact that this number had the same area code as you. You quickly turned the shower off and turned on speakerphone.

“Hello?” you answered reluctantly.

“Hi, my name is Adelaide Bryce, I’m calling from Monster D Records,” came a bright female voice from the other end. It took a moment for her words to register, and by the time they did, you realized you had missed the second part of whatever she just said.

“Pardon, what was that?” You felt your breathing pick up slightly. Why the hell would someone from Monster D be calling you, especially so early in the morning?!

“I asked if you were Y/N Y/L/N?” she repeated kindly.

“Uh yeah, yes I am. Is there something I can help you with?” You tried not to sound flustered but did a terrible job of it.

“Actually there is,” the girl replied, sounding slightly relieved. “You may or may not have heard, but we’re hosting our company party tonight. I know it’s very last minute, but the previous act we had lined up isn’t going to be able to make it tonight…” She hesitated before continuing. “We were wondering if you’d like to fill in and play some music for the guests. It would be worth your while and you’d probably get the attention of several big-name producers if that’s what you’re looking for in the future.”

You stood there speechless. They wanted you? At their company dinner?! “How the hell did I get picked?” You thought aloud. “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I’m just… a little flustered.”

The girl chuckled. “I’m sure. We’d love to have you, and you were personally recommended by one of our staff. I believe he watched you perform at a coffee shop?”

“Yes, I do a lot of those,” you smiled slightly. Then, a pit formed in your stomach as you remembered what day it was. “I… I’m not totally sure if I’ll be able to. I have somewhere I have to be tonight, even though I’m not really sure where that is…” you muttered the last part.

Though apparently, it was loud enough for the girl to hear, because you heard a sharp inhale on the other end of the line. “Is today the day for you?”

“Yes, it is. And I’m not sure if a company dinner is where I’m meant to be tonight…” You bit the inside of your cheek, goosebumps raising on your skin.

“On the contrary, I think this is exactly where you’re supposed to be!” she exclaimed. “Please, just know that you were personally recommended by someone who has a lot of experience spotting new talent, and he believes you have what it takes to be successful. Give this a shot, I’m sure everything will work out tonight!” She sounded like she knew something she wasn’t telling you, but you decided not to push it.

Following your heart, and what it said was right, you nodded to yourself. “Alright, I’ll do it. What do I need to know?”

“Alright! Arrive around 5:15 tonight at the private lot in back, just tell the guard your name and he’ll let you through. Someone will be waiting by the back door to escort you to the stage where you’ll be performing. I hear you play guitar so you can bring whatever instruments you would like, but we can provide hardware such as cables and mics. Oh, and wear something nice, y’know, business formal. I’m sure you’ll do great tonight, both on stage and with your first meeting,” she added reassuringly. “Thank you so much!”

“Thank you as well, have a good one,” you replied before hanging up and turning the shower back on. Only this time, it was steaming.

You found yourself on the metro at 5:09, a deep blue dress with a modest collared neckline that ended just above the knee hidden beneath your winter coat. Around your neck was a single diamond on a delicate chain, a graduation present from your mother who claimed: “Every woman needs a good diamond.” You had decided when you received it that you would not wear it until this day, and it felt almost heavy against your chest to realize that today really was the day. Your life would change forever based on what happened today.

Guitar case in one hand, you gripped the overhead bar for dear life as the train slowed to a stop. A surge of people moved to the exit, and you followed close behind, stepping onto the familiar platform. You had busked here many times before, and been fairly successful considering this was the more creative part of town. And since Monster D was only a block away, it was a common spot to get noticed by the staff there.

Making your way to the stairs leading to the street above, you tried your best to get around people. Emerging on the sidewalk, you had slightly more room to walk. Crossing East 71st, you approached the building you had passed so many times on your way to venues. Monster D Records stood a bit shorter than the buildings surrounding it, but had much more curb appeal, with its sleek exterior standing out on the corner. You shook your head slightly in disbelief that this was actually happening as you made your way to the front door before pausing. Didn’t she say to enter through the back door?

Turning, you hurried to the side of the building toward the gate you could see behind it. You hesitantly approached it, noticing the guard inside the booth. Stepping toward him, you double checked your phone for the time, finding it was two minutes till.

“Can I help you with something miss?” The guard called, drawing your attention.

“Um, yes actually. My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I was told to come through here for the dinner?” You explained somewhat skeptically.

“Oh yes, of course. Come right in,” the man smiled, stepping out from his booth and opening a smaller gate beside the one meant for cars. “There’s an assistant by the back door, good luck!”

“Oh, thank you,” you smiled as you stepped through the opening. Sure enough, you spotted a young woman holding open a door and hurried across the parking lot full of expensive cars.

“Welcome to Monster D Records!” The woman greeted you with a smile.

“Thank you,” you replied gratefully, stepping inside out of the cold.

“So I heard you’re the new entertainment for tonight huh?” You nodded as she entered behind you. “Well, you’re right on time. That’s very appreciated here. I’ll take you to the stage right now, you can set up there and soundcheck if you’d like. The guests should start arriving around 5:45 or so, and there’ll be a brief introduction, but after that, you’re free to play whatever you’d like.”

“Nothing too loud though right? Just background music,” you sighed slightly. You were used to gigs like this. You’d played enough dinner parties and restaurants to know that people liked to talk at the table, and couldn’t be expected to pay perfect attention to the entertainment playing quietly on the stage.

The girl leading you through the confusing hallways glanced back at you with a sympathetic look. “Unfortunately, yes. I’ve been in your position, as have most of the employees here. So I know how it feels to be on stage getting ignored. But I have a feeling you’ll do amazing and you’ll impress a lot of important people here. This could be a break for you, so do your best,” she smiled encouragingly as she came to a stop before a black door. Opening it, you found a small side stage. Stepping out, you found backstage areas to both sides, and heavy drapery framing the center, where a mic and stool were set up.

“Is there any hardware you need?”

“I was told you guys could provide a cable for my guitar?” You turned to face her again as she nodded and headed to the area to the left. Returning a moment later, she handed you a jack and nodded to the stool ahead of you.

“Go set up, I’ll plug you in,” she held onto the other end of the cord and released the middle to head over to the soundboard behind the curtains to the right. As she moved out of sight and you made your way to the stool, one of the doors on the opposite wall opened and three men in suits entered, deep in conversation. Deciding to ignore them, you leaned down to pull out your guitar from its case which you then went to place behind the curtains. Plugging in, you set down on the stool and adjusted the mic. Awaiting the ok to soundcheck, you realized you still had on your coat but decided you’d remove it just after the introduction since it was a bit chilly in the auditorium.

You took the moment to survey the space. To your right was another larger stage, probably where the intro would be taking place. Before you were about thirty circular tables covered in crimson cloths. The chairs were dark wood, and the walls were a light gray. The entire room would soon be full of important and famous people, though at the moment it was just the three men who still paid you little attention.

“Alright, go ahead and mic check,” the woman called. You nodded, speaking softly into the microphone at your lips. You continued to say meaningless things as she adjusted the volume. You heard yourself over the speakers and noticed the men across the room glancing in your direction. “Ok, now the guitar.”

You hesitantly strummed a chord, worried the speaker would be up too loud. She adjusted the volume again as you continued to strum a simple G chord. Curiously, you glanced at the men and found them all turned toward you, though still speaking with each other. “Try singing something. It’s a little hard to do them separately,” she called from the right. For whatever reason, you began to feel nervous. It felt strange to play a song with only three people before you, even if just for a soundcheck, but you did as she asked and began a random song that came to mind.

That is what truly grabbed the attention of your three audience members. They almost immediately faced you, watching intently. You couldn’t bring yourself to continue looking at them, so you let your eyes wander everywhere else. Until one of them started toward you.

He had bleached hair that had obviously been neutralized to make it silvery, and his black suit had probably been tailored because it fit him flawlessly. His eyes narrowed slightly as he approached as if he were curious about you. Coming to a stop as he reached the stage, he placed his hands on the edge and looked over to where the woman stood to adjust the soundboard.

“Turn it up a bit, Erica,” he called authoritatively. “We can hardly hear her on the other side as it is, so there’s no way they’ll hear her later.”

“Of course sir,” Erica replied, apparently adjusting the sound accordingly. You realized you had stopped playing as the man glanced up at you with a small grin. Eyes darting away from his, you resumed the song you’d previously been playing as he turned to the other two across the way. One of them pointed up, and he turned back to Erica again.

“A little more, please.” With another look back, he got a thumbs up from the same man as before, then with a nod, he turned back around one more time. “Perfect! Good work getting her set up. Go check that the carpet event is going smoothly alright?”

“Alright,” she agreed as she emerged from the curtains. The man nodded and moved to return to his friends without another word, leaving you wishing he had at least introduced himself. Erica placed a hand on your shoulder, drawing your attention. “Y/N, your voice is gorgeous. I’d be surprised if you made it through the night without at least one producer showing interest in you. I know you’ll do wonderfully, so break a leg out there,” she gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before heading out. You turned to ask who the three men were, but you weren’t fast enough, and as you turned back around to take another peek at the men on the other side of the auditorium, you found they had disappeared as well.

It wasn’t more than five minutes before guests began entering. Once there were about twenty people, you decided it couldn’t hurt to play music until the introduction speech. With only about five minutes to go, you would just play one song then you’d sit quietly on your stool for the intro. Your stomach was doing flips, and you tried desperately to lose yourself in the song. But all too soon it was over, and as you opened your eyes afterward, you found the auditorium nearly full. Pulling out your phone for a moment, you found it was 6:10, and you wondered when the speech was going to take place. Sure enough, after a moment the curtains on the main stage were drawn open to reveal the speakers.

Your jaw nearly dropped as you found the same three men from earlier on the stage. The silver-haired one stood to the side further from you, and the three moved toward two microphones set up before them.

“Welcome,” began the one in the center. He was the tallest, with peachy hair and full lips. “As you probably know, my name is Kim Namjoon, and this is Jung Hoseok and Min Yoongi. The three of us began Monster D Records 6 years ago, and in the time it’s been around it has become one of the most successful record labels in the game. Thanks to all of you, among others, our business has been able to blossom and realize its full potential. So please, raise your glasses in a toast for a moment.” You hadn’t noticed before, but all three men had been holding glasses of champagne at their sides, and they raised them carefully. “Here’s to another successful year and to all of you, for your constant support and love!” And with that, cups were brought together all throughout the auditorium and people took a sip. After a few more comments, the three thanked everyone once more and made their way off the stage.

One of the servers who stood before your stage turned to give you a thumbs up, and you prepared to strum your guitar before you remembered you had to take your coat off. Carefully placing your guitar against the stool, you hurried to where your case was stored and unzipped your coat. However, thanks to your awful luck the zipper caught on the fabric, forcing you to struggle with it for a moment before finally freeing it. Placing it atop your case, you glanced at your phone, and you found the screen read 6:19 pm.

At the same time, you heard the stage floor creak behind you, closely followed by a hand gently placed on your shoulder. You gasped, attempting to turn around to see who it was, but another arm snaked around your waist, securing you against a warm, solid chest.

“So it was you all along,” came a whispered voice in your ear. “You’re the one who put me through all those years of confusion and longing…” The mystery man’s fingers trailed slowly down your arm, his touch light and careful. He grasped your wrist gently, bringing it up to read it. “November 18, 2017. 6:19 pm. Double numbers…” You brought up your other wrist slowly, wondering if this was really happening. It seemed too good to be true, that the universe would do whatever it took to get the two of you in the same place at the right time. There was a soft sigh in your ear as you revealed your other tattoo, and you could have melted right then and there. Even without having seen his face, you knew this relationship would be…interesting.

You removed your hand from his grasp but took his hand in yours. Needing proof that this was, in fact, the man you were destined for, you pushed up his sleeve enough to see the mark on his creamy skin. As expected, it was the same as yours, and you couldn’t help but place your wrist beside his to find them identical. Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt hot lips on your neck, and you leaned back against him.

A gasp escaped your mouth as you were turned around to face him, only to be met with a face you had already seen several times tonight. “Min Yoongi…” His name fell from your lips, nothing more than a whisper that was eaten up by the thick fabric surrounding you. Your hand came up to his face as your stared in disbelief. His skin was smooth beneath your fingers as they traveled down his jaw to stop at his chin.

“Thank you for accepting the job tonight,” he smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m not sure what would have happened if you had declined.”

“Well you wouldn’t be here, that’s for sure,” you grinned. “You’d probably be in my part of town, where guys like you wouldn’t go if their life depended on it.” The words came out differently than you’d heard them in your mind, but a smile appeared on his lips nonetheless.

“You need to go perform, people are waiting on you.” He gently pulled you closer, leaning his forehead to yours. “Can I drive you home once this is over?” He almost sounded unsure, like you might actually turn him down.

You hesitate for a heartbeat, before nodding slightly. “Of course. I’m sure whatever fancy car you have is better than taking the metro, especially at night.”

He chuckled, standing straight after a moment. He was taller than you, but not by much. “Alright then, I’ll see you after.” He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead, bringing heat to your cheeks as he took a step back. “You look beautiful tonight, Y/N.” And with that, he was headed out the door through which you originally entered, leaving you blushing like a lovesick schoolgirl.

The murmur of the room just on the other side other the curtain pulled you back to reality. You stepped back out onto the stage, settling down on the stool and nestling your guitar on your lap. You thought for a moment, before strumming the first chord of the song “Rhythm of Love.” As you played, you noticed Yoongi enter once again, his eyes finding yours as he greeted some guests. Smiles lit up both of your faces, and the rest of the night was a bit of a blur.

“Y/N,” came a voice from behind you. It was one you’d heard several times that night, so before you even turned you knew it was Yoongi. The event had officially ended, but guests still lingered and got in their last bits of conversation. “We can leave whenever you’d like,” he smiled as he stood by the door leading off stage.

All night, you’d exchanged glances and smiles, and at one point he had introduced you to his co-founders, Namjoon and Hoseok. They had both complimented you on your voice and wished you luck with Yoongi, which made you chuckle slightly nervously. Now, he stood before you, a smile on his lips as you placed your guitar in its case and put your coat back on. He insisted on carrying your instrument out to his car, claiming that chivalry wasn’t dead as long as he was alive. Along the way to the exit, his hand claimed yours, a pleasant surprise just before you stepped out into the frigid night air.

“I’m right here,” he gestured toward a black Range Rover parked in the first spot to the right. When you glanced at him with one eyebrow slightly raised, he grinned. Perks of owning the place, I suppose,” he shrugged and went to open the trunk.

You gingerly climbed into the passenger’s seat, legs raised slightly to keep from making contact with the cold leather seats. A few seconds later, the trunk was shut and he climbed in next to you, swearing under his breath at the cold leather. You couldn’t help but smile and laugh softly at his reaction, drawing his attention to you. As he narrowed his eyes, you smirked playfully retrieving your phone from your pocket. He shook his head and started the car, immediately turning on the seat warmers.

“Damn, heated seats…” you commented, thoroughly impressed.

“And a heated steering wheel, but I won’t brag,” he chuckled, backing out of the spot. The same guard from before was at the gate, and he waved as he opened it to let you pass. You smiled back, before realizing the windows were probably too tinted for him to see it.

“See, I don’t have any of this.” Your voice was quiet as you spoke up after a few silent moments. “None of this glitz and glamour, the dinner parties, fancy cars… I came from nothing, and that’s what I’ll be for who knows how long. Nothing. And that’s alright with me.” You added the last part quickly when you realized how ungrateful you sounded.

Yoongi chuckled quietly. “You’re not nothing, Y/N. You’re everything, you just don’t know it yet, and the right people haven’t discovered that.” His fingers slipped through yours and settled on your left leg. “I just realized….” he trailed off after a moment.

“What is it?” You looked at him curiously.

“You never told me where you live,” he laughed as the light before you turned green.

Giggling, you ran your thumb absentmindedly over the back of his hand. “You’re going the right way. I’m on 37th and Eastwood.” This got a skeptical glance out of him as he kept driving.

“Would you care if I spent a little time with you tonight?” He sounded hesitant like he didn’t want to push it too far tonight.

“Of course. I can order a pizza because I’m kinda starving,” you grinned. The thought of him wanting to spend time with you was so foreign, but it warmed something in your chest. After a minute or two, you were pulling into the garage beneath your shitty apartment complex. He parked, and as you walked past your old Subaru you decided not to point out that it belonged to you. In the elevator up, he placed his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, seemingly not wanting to ever let you go. Together, you stepped out onto your floor and made your way to your apartment.

After opening the door, you turned on the lights and welcomed him inside. “So sorry it’s not the neatest, I wasn’t really expecting to end up here with my-” You caught yourself just before the word soulenemy came from your mouth. He didn’t need to know you thought that all these years. “I wasn’t really expecting to end up here with you, so I didn’t clean up before I left.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s perfect.” He turned to you quietly, lips quirked up slightly and eyes soft as he stepped forward. “There are some moments in life that are meant to be captured with cameras,” he began, his words raising your curiosity. “You pose in front of a lens, and hope that the photographer can make you look good.” He brushed his knuckles along your cheekbone. “Or you arrange a setting, and hope it doesn’t turn out looking staged and dull.” You wondered where he could be going with this as his hands made their way to your shoulders, where he began to push off your coat. “Then there are some moments too astonishing to ever be captured in their full glory through a lens. The colors too vivid,” he smiled at the blush flowering on your cheeks. “The lines to delicate,” he ran his thumb down your jaw as your coat slid from your arms onto the floor.

“The image would never be quite the same through a lens than it would be to simply take it all in.” His body was nearly against yours, his lips merely inches away. “This is one of those moments. You look so beautiful, and I can’t decide if it’s this awful fluorescent lighting or the fact that now I finally know you’re the one, but you’ve never looked as beautiful as you do right now.”

Your heart did flips in your chest as you tried to work up the courage you needed right then. However, Yoongi beat you to it, bringing his lips to brush against yours. The next thing you knew, your fingers were tangled in his silver hair and you lay beneath him on your bed, fervently kissing one another as though you had been without each other for years, and perhaps some would say that was the case. He tasted faintly of chocolate fondue and smoke, and the feel of his lips against yours was enough to turn you to putty beneath his fingers. Everywhere he touched, he left tracks of liquid gold beneath your skin, and you nearly came undone as his teeth grazed your bottom lip.

He was absolutely intoxicating.

And it made you wonder what could be so bad about him…

[morningnews24h]

5 key takeaways from Georgia Senate runoff debate

Loeffler and Warnock participated in what may be the race's only debate.

December 7, 2020, 2:37 AM

• 13 min read

Incumbent Republican Sen. Kelly Loeffler and her Democratic challenger, Rev. Raphael Warnock, faced off Sunday night in the first -- and potentially only -- debate between candidates competing in Georgia’s two Senate runoffs, which will determine which party controls Congress’s upper chamber.

In the hour-long live event, which was hosted by the Atlanta Press Club and broadcast from Georgia Public Broadcasting’s studio in Atlanta, Loeffler was pressed on her acknowledgment that the Republican Senate majority is at stake, despite not acknowledging President-elect Joe Biden’s win. The two candidates also sparred over religion, policing and the coronavirus pandemic.

No other debates have been scheduled yet, and Sen. David Perdue, Georgia’s senior senator who is also facing a runoff, declared he would not participate in a single debate against Jon Ossoff when the Atlanta Press Club extended an invitation to him to debate his Democratic challenger Sunday evening as well.

While he refused to debate, the Atlanta Press Club chose not to cancel the debate. Instead, Ossoff spent his allotted 30 minutes criticizing Perdue and contrasting himself to the sitting senator. He repeatedly called out Perdue’s absence as he took questions from panelists while standing next to an empty podium.

Ossoff blasted Perdue as “arrogant” for not participating in the debate, saying the senator feels entitled to the seat he currently holds.

“I truly regret that we haven't had the opportunity to debate the issues, because the people deserve it,” he said in his closing statements.

There are just 30 days left until Georgia voters will decide which candidates to send to Washington, and the debate fell on the eve of the voter registration deadline. But voting is already underway in the Peach State, with hundreds of thousands of absentee ballots already having been mailed out to voters, and over 40,000 of those ballots have already been returned and accepted by county election officials.

Here are the key takeaways from what may be the only debate before Jan. 5:

Loeffler won’t say whether she agrees with Trump that election was ‘rigged’

The president has repeatedly claimed that the election was “rigged” against him, and did so again during a rally Saturday night in the Peach State. Despite saying she supports Trump as he contests the election in states across the country, including Georgia, she would not repeat that the election was “rigged.”

Asked twice if she stood by and agreed with Trump’s “narrative,” she chose to point out the 250 investigations the secretary of state’s office has opened in the post-election period instead of answering the question.

“It's very clear that there were issues in this election. There were 250 investigations opened… we have to make sure that Georgians trust this process because of what’s at stake in the election,” Loeffler said the second time she was asked.

She also would not say whether she supports Trump reportedly pressuring Gov. Brian Kemp to call a special session of the General Assembly to override the election results.

During the part of the debate where the candidates get to ask their opponent a question, Warnock followed up on this topic, asking plainly, “Yes or no, Sen. Loeffler: did Donald Trump lose the election?”

Loeffler again reiterated her support for Trump to “use every legal recourse available.”

Later in the debate, she was asked about the president’s direct attacks on Kemp, who appointed Loeffler to the Senate. Trump has said he was ashamed to support Kemp’s campaign and suggested Loeffler’s former Republican opponent, Rep. Doug Collins, launch a primary bid against him in 2022.

Pushed into a box by one of the panelists, who asked whether her loyalty lies with the governor or the president, Loeffler chose option three.

“My loyalties are with Georgia,” she said.

Loeffler says Senate majority is at stake, even though she won’t explicitly acknowledge Biden’s win

While she did not explicitly acknowledge Biden won the election, Loeffler effectively did when she said, “What's at stake is the Senate majority.”

She may say she supports the president’s legal challenges, but it cannot be true that Trump actually won the election -- and will continue to be president -- and control of the Senate has yet to be determined. The Senate majority is only at stake in these elections because if both Warnock and Ossoff win, Democrats will hold 50 seats in the Senate, and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris would be the tie-breaking vote.

“(The Democrats) want to radically change our country… We know the direction the country would take, and we’re going to continue to make sure that Georgians understand that our very way of life here in Georgia and across the country is under attack by the left,” Loeffler said.

But the debate’s moderator pressed the senator on her dire characterization of how these races could impact the country, and how she can’t have it both ways.

“Not to belabor the point, but all those things that you’re warning about would not be happening, presumably, with President Trump as president. So, it almost sounds as though you're conceding that that part of it has been settled, and now it's important for the Republicans to keep the majority in the Senate, to have a divided government,” the moderator, WAGA-TV/Fox5 anchor Russ Spencer, said.

But Loeffler still wouldn’t explicitly acknowledge his statement, and again reiterated the importance of a Republican Senate majority.

“I'm fighting to make sure that the Republican majority is retained in the Senate, because we are the shock absorber for commonsense policies that bring Americans together, that lift everyone up,” she said.

It’s a line Loeffler has not been alone in toeing, but there’s only a month left until election day, and Republicans have both, directly and indirectly, raised concerns that Trump’s rhetoric about the general election could actually work against Georgia’s senators, and suppress GOP turnout for the runoff.

Warnock evades giving court packing stance, even as he denounces other liberal priorities

Following Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's death, and during the confirmation process for now-Justice Amy Coney Barrett, some Democrats in the Senate voiced support for expanding the court to more than nine justices.

But Democrats on the campaign trail vying to unseat vulnerable Republicans were not so quick to voice their support for what’s been called “court packing.”

During Sunday’s debate, Warnock wasn’t either.

He avoided answering the question altogether, saying it wasn’t top of mind.

“People aren’t asking me about the courts and whether we should expand the courts. I know that's an interesting question for people inside the Beltway to discuss, but they are wondering when in the world are they gonna get some COVID-19 relief,” Warnock said when he was first asked whether he supported this.

The panelist, Atlanta Journal-Constitution political reporter Greg Bluestein, pushed back and defended the question's premise, saying it would have an impact on voters.

“I’m really not focused on it, and I think that too often, the politics in Washington has been about the politicians,” Warnock said.

But Warnock was definitive on other liberal priorities that dominated 2020.

Loeffler repeatedly said that Warnock, and Democrats in general, want to “defund the police,” but her opponent clearly stated he didn’t support that.

“I don't think we should defund the police, but we certainly do need criminal justice reform,” he said. “We need to make sure that police and officers and departments that have a pattern of misconduct are held accountable. We can do that and celebrate police at the same time.”

Warnock defends his record on the pulpit as candidates tangle over religion

Warnock defended his record against Loeffler's attacks, who repeatedly referred to him as a “radical liberal” while confronting him about his rhetoric on the pulpit.

“Radical liberal Raphael Warnock has called police officer's ‘gangsters, thugs, bullies’ and 'a threat to our children,'” Loeffler said. “He's also said that you can’t serve God and the military. He’s used the bible to justify these types of attacks and make other divisive statements."

While touting his outreach work, support for Black Lives Matter activists and the police, Warnock said that Loeffler is misrepresenting his record, calling her attacks a distraction.

“It is clear to me that my opponent is going to work really hard, spending millions of dollars of her own money, trying to push a narrative about me because she is clearly decided that she does not have a case to be made for why she should stay in that seat,” Warnock said, adding that many of his past sermons were taken out of context.

Warnock said Loeffler was making “cynical, political arguments” out of his religious sermons.

“I was preaching that day from a very familiar Matthew's text that says, ‘you cannot serve God and mammon.’ It was a sermon about a moral foundation for everything that we do, and that, when you have everything in order, that actually makes you a better soldier. It also makes you a better senator. And had Kelly Loeffler listened to the sermon, rather than try to make her cheap political point, she would not have used her advantage as a U.S. Senator to make millions on a pandemic, while playing it down to the people she was supposed to be representing,” Warnock said in a rebuttal.

Loeffler countered, saying, "I’m a Christian. I'm a person of deep faith. I don't need a lecture from someone who has used the bible to not only justify attacking our military... But he's also used the bible to justify abortion."

Loeffler made a point to highlight her pro-life, anti-abortion stance, and called-out Warnock for being a Christian man who supports a woman’s right to choose.

In a rebuttal, Warnock said that while he has reverence for life, he also respects choice.

“The question is: whose decision is it? And I happen to think that a patient's room is too small a place for a woman, her doctor, and the U.S. Government. I think that's too many people in the room," he said.

Health care front and center as Loeffler and Warnock spar over coronavirus response

While debating over COVID-19 relief, Warnock highlighted how the pandemic has impacted rural voters in Georgia, many of whom are battling the virus amid hospital closures and without adequate health care.

“I have been moving all across this state, especially going to rural areas. And when I go to these small towns, they’re surprised that I am there. I'm surprised that they’re surprised. They haven’t seen a U.S. senator and they’re wondering why their hospitals are closing, why Kelly Loeffler doesn’t think it's a good idea to make sure that they have health care in the middle of the pandemic,” Warnock said, adding, “Nine of our hospitals have closed and there wondering who in Washington is looking out for them.”

Warnock criticized Loeffler for her COVID-19 response and said that she did not do enough to provide relief for uninsured and unemployed Georgians suffering during the pandemic.

Loeffler touted her response to the coronavirus pandemic and noted that she was among the senators who voted to pass the $3 trillion stimulus relief package in the spring.

When asked if they would take the COVID-19 vaccine once it is approved, both candidates said they would, and ensured that they would encourage others to do the same.

Warnock said he would also make sure that Americans from disenfranchised communities would have access to the vaccine.

“I will try to work hard, as a senator, to make sure that communities that are so often marginalized don't find themselves at the back of the line again, that they have access to the vaccine,” Warnock said.

https://albahuth.info/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/2028-5-key-takeaways-from-georgia-senate-runoff-debate.jpg https://albahuth.info/?p=2028&feed_id=731 #world

[amireallyme]

How it all Started

I just graduated and I still feel really sentimental about it. this is quite a long post so bear with me.

I first met him on the bus on my first year of secondary school. he was that kinda person that you’d go “wow, he’s hot/good looking” at first sight. he was my bus eyecandy. he takes the same bus as me although we board at different stops. for 8 months, I didn’t know that he was a teacher in my school (though in my defence, there’s 2 routes that you can take to my school and he was also a trainee teacher). I only knew when my senior sent me a picture of him and his boyfriend at the gym. when I received the picture, obviously I recognised the dude whom I see on the bus everyday duh. word spread around the graduating secondary students that he was gay. I was the only non grad student who knows about this secret of his. it never left my lips to the ears of my batchmates or other ppl.

over the holidays before the start of my second year, I bumped into him and his boyfriend when I was at the supermarket. I was on my phone then and was pissed w this couple who blocked my way so I looked up. the dude on the left looked shocked while his friend just looked at the two of us holding eye contact. that guy was really familiar but I couldn’t recall. I was super tired and just wanted to quickly get my stuff and go home so I just squeezed right through the both of them. I then realised it was my teacher. he didn’t had his spectacles on and his hair was dyed hazelnut brown.

the next day, I had english oral examination. as I walked into the room with 4 other classmates, I had a shock of my life when I saw him sitting at one of the tables. despite trying very hard to avoid him, I eventually had to go to him for assessment. I stuttered a lot for reading aloud and I couldn’t hold a conversation with him during the spoken interaction segment. I mean who wouldn’t? at the end of the whole assessment, he thanked me and gave me pointers. “XX, I know we haven’t met...” I felt very ‘attacked’ when he said that cause I knew that he meant that we know that we both exist but never exchanged words before. I thanked him and stood up. the other teachers in the room looked at the two of us and smiled, apparently I was the last to finish despite being the first to come in. I ran out of the room, embarrassed.

when the new school term started, we met on the bus again as per usual— this time, he smiled at me. I felt so flustered, I didn’t return back a smile. the only time I get to see him is when I go to school and go back home. apparently, he started walking to school after reaching the interchange instead of taking another bus. so in addition to my 15 min journey to school, I get to walk ‘with’ him too.

he has a bad resting face, especially in the mornings and I got used to just making eye contact w him in the bus and acknowledging that as a ‘good morning’. there were times when he’d fall asleep and I’d wake him up and he’d do that with me too. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to be packed in between people so I always let others get off first before I get out of my seat. so does he. whenever he sits behind me, he makes sure that I stands up first. whenever he sits in front of me, he lets me walk past him and he’ll walk behind me.

our first real interaction happened in the student council. he was posted to my school officially and was in the student leadership department aside from the english department. in the later months of my second year, I got to know of the way he does things and how he works and honestly speaking, I was actually amazed by him. right after end of year examinations, we had to fill a form to choose our subject combinations that we would like to take in upper secondary. truth to be told, I was hoping that he’ll teach me in upper sec.

on the first day of school, I got to know my new form teachers. they were really nice. I got my new timetable and I scanned through the names. since I’ve been in the council for 2 years, I knew quite a lot of teachers and their initials. I was delighted with all the teachers that I got cause ALL of them were either Heads of Departments or well liked teachers because of their teaching styles. though, I wasn’t quite sure of who was my english teacher. I didn’t know his name then so I was excited for the second day of school since there’ll be english period. unfortunately I fell sick and took an MC for 2 days. on that thursday, we had english for first period. I was fooling around and talking with my friends when I realised that I’ve yet to know who my teacher was. “yo, who is CKJ?” I was waiting for a response from my tablemate when the class chairperson told us to stand. I did and looked in front. it was him. after greeting, he called me to the front of the class “hey, how are you? are you feeling better?” I smiled and said that I was. I went back to my seat, with my heart racing fast. my wish came true!

I never liked english lessons cause I find them boring. however, he actually made lessons wayy interesting. he infused technology, games, debates, etc in class, he not only changed my perspective and attitude towards english but the whole class’. never in my 8 (now 10) years of education have I actually looked forward to english lessons. he would find me every now and then to ask me to help him out to distribute notes, collect homework etc. I felt kinda bad for the eng rep at times cause he’d still come to me although she’s near.

around May, we had an overseas immersion programme. I chose my country of choice. when the results came out, I went to the notice board in front of the general office to check out whether I got what I wanted. I did, and at the bottom of the list, it stated the names of the teachers that were in charge of us. HE WAS IN CHARGE. I was ecstatic. we spent 5 days 4 nights there, the longest trip for a short haul flight. for those 5 days, he stuck to me like my personal tour guide. he’d ask me about the geographical features of the place (he loves geog and he knows I take geog as well) and just random stuff that’ll pop in his head. when we were given free time to roam around a museum, I realised that he went to every painting that I looked at. since I was a systematic person, I realised that he might be one as well. so for the next artefact, I walked across the whole room. before I realised, he was already behind me. “what do you think this flag is symbolic of?”. later, we were driven to a geographical landform which was popular amongst tourists. our tour guide left us to take pictures and I used that time to just sit and watch the waves. my friends unknowingly start to block my view so I got really angsty. I nudged and kicked them away. I heard a laughter. it was him. he sat next to me and we just talked about the formation of the headlands and bay. when I got back to my hotel, I was informed that before I started getting all cranky, he was already standing behind me and smiled widely when I was raging. when we reached the airport, he offered to send my home via cab when he knew that I would be taking the public transport home cause my parents were too busy to fetch me.

3 days before the trip, I was announced to be the new head prefect of the council. only the 10 candidates knew of this together with the council teachers. during the trip, he announced to everyone there that I should get the honour to hold the school banner. I didn’t know how to react so I just smiled sheepishly as everyone gasped at the news. this year, he was changed to another department. he had my picture on one of his slides regarding our plans after high school. I was the joke of the cohort cause I changed gender ( he arrowed my picture to guys of different races and level of educations ). he told his form class that he chose my picture because I looked good and suited the context of the presentation slides.

he’s a really professional teacher. although by the second year his secret was exposed to everyone and people made fun of him, he never cared and continued his day to day behaviour. I really respect him for that. he also doesn’t mix personal feelings into work. if I have to describe him in a word, I shall say reserved. he’s not the type of teacher to strike conversations with students and he only talks with a small group of teachers. I was no different, although, he did come to check on me once in a while when he walks past me while I’m studying and would give me energy snacks. it’s an open secret among my batchmates that I like him and everyone knows that he treats me a lil differently, including some of the teachers, although it’s not that obvious. I actually don’t know what to do now. should I confess to him and move on or just keep it this way.

yes, my first legitimate crush is him. I eye candy a lot of people, evident in how it was the same for him at first but I gradually grew to love him for him and not only his looks. mr c (my form teacher) is the only teacher that knows about this.

[imaginekpoplikethis]

7 years - BadBoy! Jeon Jungkook x Reader - Part 3

In all honesty this series was only going to have two parts but cause you guys are so damn cute I extended it.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 - Here  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10.1  Part 10.2  Part 10.3  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20 - Final

When you had gotten home, eyes puffy from crying tears of happiness, you immediately video called Areum. When she had answered, she briefly panicked at the sight of your tear stained face and you reassured her that everything was alright. You spent an hour explaining the whole ordeal to her and then another explaining your relationship with Jungkook.

“Wait… so I, your best friend, did not know You and Jungkook are practically soulmates?” You choked on your bottle of water whilst having a mini coughing fit. When you had recovered, you snapped your head up and glared directly at the screen of your laptop.

“Soulmates where? We’re just childhood friends.” Areum tutted and shook her head. She the went on to give you a sly smile as if she knew something you didn’t.

“Oh come on Y/N. We all know which way this relationship is going. You have seen ‘Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo’ right? The childhood friends always end up together.” You aggressively shook your head whilst you blushed heavily at the thought of dating Jungkook. It’s not that you despised the idea, it’s just it had never crossed your mind. Not with all the drama you’ve had to put up with for the past 2 years.

“Areum, your mouth is moving but all I hear is bullshit right now.” It was her turn to glare at you and she twirled her hair around her fingers innocently. “Okay fine, when you start dating you have to buy me… Ah! You have to buy me Shinee’s new album. Deal?” You couldn’t believe the nerve of Areum, making bets on your love life.

“Deal!” That didn’t stop you from agreeing because let’s be honest here, there was no way you were going to date Jungkook. You’d probably be killed by Hye Mi if you so much as hugged him within her sights. Actually, pissing off Hye Mi was a very tempting idea.

Scratch that. You could care less about her.

After bidding Areum a good night, you logged off and lay in bed. You were excited to go back to school but this time as Jungkook’s untouchable childhood friend.

This school year was beginning to look like a good one.

-

When you entered the classroom the next day, Jungkook was already sitting down in his seat, staring out the window. His ears perked up at the sound of your chair against the floor and he smiled when he realised you had arrived.

“Morning Y/N.” The slight rasp of his voice was enough to tell you he wasn’t used to arriving at school this early. He stood up and made himself comfortable on the chair in front of you, once again placing his head on your desk.

“Good morning Jungkook.” He chuckled and proceeded to pinch your cheek. Slapping his hand away, you flicked him on his forehead. “What? So you’re not gonna call me Kookie anymore?”

“Not in school.”  He pouted at you in a playful manner and nudged your shoulder.

“Why not? I thought we were friends.” You couldn’t stop the smile that spread on your face from his whining tone. Just as you were going to reply, Hye Mi stepped into the classroom, eyes taking in the close proximity between you and Jungkook. To your surprise, she just scoffed and made her way to her seat, sitting down and pulling out her compact mirror.

Jungkook completely disregarded her presence and continued to pester you, ruffling your hair. “Come on, you’re literally my oldest friend. You’re the only exception when it comes to calling me Kookie.” Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Hye Mi’s shoulders tense at what Jungkook had just said.

Whatever. It’s not your problem.

“Fine. Okay Kookie, just stop messing up my hair.” He grinned at you and began patting down your hair, making sure you looked presentable. You made small talk with Jungkook whilst your classmates began arriving, some giving you confused looks whilst others envy. The questioning stares proved to be too much as you groaned and hid you face in your arms. Jungkook simply laughed and left you to wallow in your self pity.

-

Lunch had once again arrived and you found that your table was still occupied by Hye Mi and her friends. You were debating whether you should confront her when you heard Jungkook call out to you. When he realised he had gained your attention, he began to gesture to the free seats on his table. Sighing in relief, you grabbed Areum’s hand and dragged her to the table.

Jungkook greeted you with a big smile and his friends followed suit. You returned their smiles and sat down, Areum cautiously sitting down beside you.

“Y/N! You decided to join us!” Taehyung literally screamed in your ear and you flinched. Yoongi whined at the loud noise and hit him on the head. “Shut up you idiot. Can’t get some damn sleep.” He went back to laying his head on the table and Taehyung stuck his tongue out at him. Areum was sat next to you, noticebly tense and you realised it was because she was literally sitting on a table with a bunch of strangers, save for you.

“Guys, this is my friend Areum. Areum meet Jungkook and his friends.” Jungkook beamed at her and pointed at Taehyung. “I’m pretty sure you know this is Kim Taehyung by now. Min Yoongi is the one who is sleeping and Kim Seokjin is someone you will always find either eating or looking at pictures of himself.” To emphasise his point he nodded his head in the direction of Jin, who was currently stuffing his face with rice.

“These three go by the names of Kim Namjoon, Jung Hoseok and Park Jimin. Although Namjoon hyung has a high IQ, we all tend to lose a couple of brain cells because of him. Hoseok and Jimin are always having dance competitions so that’s another thing to be aware of.” Areum giggled at his words and you sighed in relief, happy that she seemed to be comfortable.

“Guys, come to Jungkook’s party on Saturday!” Taehyung piped up from beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulder. You made eye contact with Jungkook, silently asking if it was okay and you saw him avert his eyes.

“Uh, yeah come if you want.” You didn’t particularly go to parties often but since it was Jungkook’s you were sure everything would be fine. Smiling, you turned back to Taehyung.

“Sure, we’ll come.” Taehyung cheered and Areum snickered at his antics.

You’d be as happy as they were if you hadn’t sensed Jungkook hesitate before. Why he seemed reluctant was beyond you.

-

The days slowly passed by and you along with Areum became closer with the boys, your old friendship with Jungkook coming back to light. Hye Mi became more jealous but seemed to notice Jungkook’s willingness to protect you so the weekly bullying came to a stop. She still found opportunities to slip in snide remarks but, as usual, you didn’t let it bother you.

When Friday arrived you began to feel suspicious over what could take place at this party. Jungkook had constantly asked you if 'you were sure you wanted to come’ and that 'you didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to’. It was off putting but your desire to know why he was behaving in this way was stronger than the warning bells in your head.

He had given up by now and despite the guilty looks he occasionally sent you, you began to feel excited. You had obviously gone to parties before but none of the, were hosted by the most popular boy in school and you were eager to see what it had in store for you.

Lying in bed, you watched the screen of your laptop with intense concentration at the dilemma you were presented with.

“Okay Y/N. This skirt and top or this above the knees dress? I need you to concentrate on this.” Areum slowed down each sentence as if she was talking to a child and your eyebrows creased.

“The skirt and top combo, that dress is too formal.” Areum gave a firm nod, giving a dimpled smile. Dropping the clothes on her bed, she drew closer to the camera.

“But what about you? What are you wearing tomorrow?” Shrugging your shoulders, you rolled onto your back. “Whatever I pick out in the heat of the moment I guess. Areum… has Jungkook seemed a bit, I don’t know, off?” She placed a finger to her chin, clearly reflecting on the past few days. Eventually nodding, Areum eyes widened in realisation.

“Now that you mention it, he did ask me to try and get you to focus on your studies instead of coming to the party. It’s really weird…” The questioning look she gave you made you tilt your head in confusion.

“Don’t look at me like that! I have no idea why he’s acting like that too. To be honest, I think he doesn’t want me to come.” Areum stayed silent, allowing you to continue with your explanation.

“He seems like he’s hiding something from me… Ah whatever! I don’t care.” You received a look of uncertainty which had you nodding your head vigorously.

“Yes, I’m sure Areum!”

“But I didn’t say any-”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow. Good night!”

Closing the video call, you slammed your laptop screen down and huffed.

“Gosh I don’t want to think about that!” Deciding that it would be better to sleep instead of dwell on the situation, you crawled underneath your covers and shut your eyes tight.

Maybe if you ignored your thoughts enough, the uncertainty would disappear.

[notsoguiltykpop]

Disposable pt11

Being friends with benefits with Min Yoongi can be complicated (at best) by itself. But when you accidentally tell your family (and his boss) that the two of you are dating, things get messy. It only complicates things more when you blackmail Yoongi into pretending to date you and neither of you can quite keep your feelings separate.

Angst, fluff, slight smut at times.

Yoongi x Reader

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

When you returned to the house, both you and Yoongi were in good moods. You never would have thought you and Yoongi would (or could) be anything more than unfriendly acquaintances, but you were starting to think that maybe, just maybe, you could be friends of sorts.

All of the previous day’s tension and anger had disappeared, and it was a struggle to keep reminding yourself that none of this was real. Just because you and Yoongi had spent the day together without murdering each other didn’t mean that his arm around your waist, or the brief but oh so perfect kisses meant anything. Three days with him and you were already forgetting all the pain he had caused you.

“You two look like you had fun.” Jimin said when you walked in.

“We did.” Yoongi said, flashing you a small smile.

“We’re eating dinner on the patio, and just so you guys know, Seokjin’s about to lose it. Namjoon has already dropped three plates and he and Hoseok have been banished upstairs.” Taehyung hopped into the entry way, wobbled, then leaned on Jimin.

“Wait, why Hoseok too?” You asked.

“He thought it’d be funny to trip Namjoon.” Jimin explained. “You’re supposed to be icing your ankle, dummy.” He scolded Taehyung, who shrugged.

“I’m going to go help Soekjin.” Yoongi said quietly to you as Taehyung complained that Jimin was not his mother and could not tell him what to do.

After some coaxing, you and Jimin finally convinced Taehyung to at least sit down in the sun room instead of hopping around everywhere, and once he was settled you left to find Yoongi.

You expected to find him either in the kitchen or on the patio, but you ran into him in the living room frowning at his phone.

“Who’re you texting?” You asked, leaning over his shoulder and trying to see. You weren’t naturally a nosy person, preferring to give people their space, but you didn’t think Yoongi would mind--he didn’t seem particularly secretive (if you excluded lying to Namjoon about dating you, that is. But that was your idea, so it didn’t count).

“No one.” Before you could get a good look at his phone, he was clicking the screen off and spinning to face you. “I mean, someone. But no one important.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. If he had given you even a slightly better answer you wouldn’t have pressed the matter, but he was acting exceptionally strange. “Who then?” You asked, taking a step closer. While you still didn’t know Yoongi all that well, you felt that over the course of the day the two of you had gotten significantly closer and you didn’t mind getting a in his personal space a bit. Not to mention, physical contact between the two of you wasn’t exactly a new concept.

“What does it matter?” Yoongi asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Are you jealous?”

“No.” You said quickly. Were you? You didn’t think so, just curious and getting more so by the second.

“So why do you want to know so bad?” He asked.

“Why don’t you want me to know?” You countered, and Yoongi smirked.

“Because you want to know, and this is fun.”

You debated for only a moment before reaching forward, trying to take his phone from his hand. Yoongi saw it coming, however, and held it high in the air.

“Give it here!” You demanded, reaching up on your tiptoes. If Yoongi would stop moving you’d be able to reach it, but he was apparently determined.

“Rude.” Yoongi said, not looking even slightly annoyed. If anything, he looked rather like he was enjoying himself. You jumped in one final attempt to reach the phone, at the same time Yoongi stepped backwards into the couch. If he hadn’t lost his balance, you bumping into him probably wouldn’t have been an issue, but as it was, both of you toppled over onto the couch (luckily it wasn’t the wood floor). You landed nose-to-nose with him, eyes wide, reminding you much of the previous night (except neither of you was mad at the other).

“Ow.” Yoongi complained, but you were fairly sure he was fine. “You’re heavy, get off.”

“Give me your phone first.” You said, reaching once again for the smartphone.

“Not gonna happen.” Yoongi growled. Before you even realized what was happening, he rolled over so he was hovering above you, a smirk on his face.

“Fine, you win.” You grumbled, but Yoongi didn’t move. He was watching you intently, and his face unreadable.

“Oh my god, really?” Jungkook’s voice got both of your attention, and you looked at the doorway where he and Jimin stood. “Can you not keep that to your room at least?” He complained, and Jimin laughed.

“Aw, poor baby.” He cooed, reaching up and pinching Jungkooks cheeks. “Do I need to remind you of that time you brought... What was her name? Susan? Remember how many times people saw things they never wanted to see? Myself included? Be happy they’re just staring deeply into each other’s eyes and not--”

“Enough! I’m leaving, I get it!” Jungkook put his hands over his ears and left, Jimin cackling after him.

Yoongi looked back at you slowly, and you were suddenly very aware of the position you were currently in. You started to laugh at the horrified look on his face, and he let his arms collapse, burying his face in your neck. You laughed harder as he groaned, mumbling something you couldn’t quite hear.

“What?” You giggled.

“I said, I’m going to die of embarrassment before the end of this week, let alone before we leave.”

“Since when is Min Yoongi so easily embarrassed?” You asked, his hair tickling the side of your face. “Wasn’t it your idea to make out in the closet the other day?”

“That was different, I wasn’t on top of you and it was Seokjin who saw us.”

His grumbling just furthered your amusement, and to your surprise Yoongi joined in with your laughter.

“Who the hell is Susan?” He asked, lifting himself up on his elbows to look at you.

“Jungkook’s crazy ex.” You said. The laughter had died down, but you were still smiling. “He invited her along a few years ago. “They couldn’t keep their hands off each other—ever. It was really weird to be around.”

“Like we’re being?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow at you, and you nodded, then shook your head.

“Yes, but also no. We’re not nearly as bad as them. Trust me.”

Yoongi snorted, climbing off of you. You almost wanted to keep him there, his warmth wasn’t unwelcome, and being so close to him was intoxicating. But that was all the more reason to let him go, and you tried to regain your composure as you sat up.

“We should—go check with Seokjin.” Yoongi said slightly haltingly. You nodded, giving him a small smile that he only partially returned.

Being so close to you nearly made Yoongi forget what he was doing there, it had felt so right that it had to be real—except it wasn’t. He was mad at himself for letting go of his determination to keep his emotional distance, and he was mad at you for always seeming to unfazed by everything.

He had wanted so badly to kiss you—not in the hurried, desperate for a distraction way that he used to, but slowly and deeply—to hold you, run his hands through your hair and tell you how adorable you were when you laughed. The thoughts made his stomach twist, this was too hard.

You, on the other hand, seemed perfectly fine. It appeared that you were better at removing your feelings than he was, and that made him mad too.

To be fair, his mood would likely have been better if he wasn’t currently crammed in the backseat of a rental car between Jungkook (who still looked horribly uncomfortable) and Jimin (who kept making inappropriate jokes), with Namjoon and Seokjin in the front.

Seokjin had “lost it” (as Taehyung so elegantly put it) when Jimin announced that a bug had flown into the soup and promptly died. He still might have recovered if Namjoon hadn’t made the “there’s a fly in my soup” joke, but the next thing Yoongi knew he was being shoved into a car and told that everyone was going out for dinner.

At first, he didn’t see how they were all going to go anywhere together--there weren’t enough seats in the car. But Taehyung had rented his own car apparently, and Yoongi had just never noticed that it was parked in the garage.

“I’ve been out all day.” He complained to you, and you nodded, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“You don’t have to go, but it’d make Seokjin happy if you did. He likes us all to eat together.”

And now here Yoongi was, alone with both of your brothers, and you weren’t there. Yoongi wondered briefly if it would be this intimidating if you and he really were dating, and if he didn’t work for Namjoon. He mentally scolded himself, it didn’t matter what it would be like, and he needed to stop entertaining the idea of actually dating you--even if it was in an alternate universe.

“So, Yoongi. I don’t think we’ve had much of a chance alone with you.” Jimin grinned, and Yoongi got a horrible feeling from the glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess.” Yoongi said. He didn’t have any room to move further away from Jimin, Jungkook was to his other side and Yoongi could feel his eyes on him, too.

“Be nice, Jimin.” Seokjin warned, glancing in the rear view mirror at him.

“I am.” Jimin said, turning his attention back to Yoongi. “We’re like a family, so because her father isn’t here, I’ll ask questions for him.”

Oh god.

Maybe this was why you didn’t date, he realized. Maybe everyone who dated you got scared off by the strange people that surrounded you. Namjoon and Jungkook were intimidating enough by themselves, but add Jimin and Seokjin listening closely to every word he said made it that much worse. He waited for the inevitable question, which came shortly.

“What are your intentions with our little girl?” Jimin said it like a joke, but Yoongi noticed the seriousness behind his eyes. The car had gone quiet, Namjoon and Seokjin had stopped whatever conversation they had been having and were waiting expectantly.

“Well, first of all, she’s not exactly a little girl.” Yoongi started, swallowing hard. You weren’t a child, but over the past few days he had noticed that they all seemed to treat you as one. Sometimes he wondered if it bothered you, but he would never ask.

“I guess you’re right about that.” Seokjin said, a sad smile on his mouth. “But Namjoon and I first met her when we were sixteen. It’s hard to imagine that same cute six-year-old all grown up.” It was easy for Yoongi to forget how much older Seokjin was than him, he seemed so young and carefree so much of the time, and Yoongi nodded in understanding.

“You didn’t answer the question.” Jungkook noted.

“I don’t really know what to say.” Yoongi started honestly. “We just thought we’d date and see where it takes us and, you know, if it goes well...” Yoongi had never been one to get shy, but with four other sets of ears hanging off his every word, he felt his voice start to trail off. If you were there you probably would have made them stop, he knew--that was probably why they waited until he was alone with them all to ask these kinds of questons.

“And it’s been going pretty well, it seems.” Seokjin said, and Yoongi nodded in agreement. From what they saw, it should look like it was going perfectly. “So are you going to propose?”

Yoongi looked like he was dying when he walked into the restaurant, and you immediately felt bad for abandoning him. It hadn’t been your plan, but somehow Taehyung had talked you into going with him and Hoseok (his ankle was still hurt so he wanted you to drive) and Yoongi was pulled into the other car by Jungkook. There wasn’t time to fix it, all you could do was hope he would survive the short drive. 

You had brought guys home before—it never went well. So far, Yoongi had dealt with your family, friends, and your own antics better than any other previous “real” boyfriend, and had spent more time with them as well. The last boy you introduced to all of them had lasted all of one hour--granted, that was in high school, but five minutes alone with Jungkook had him running out the door and shouting an apology over his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” You asked him as you followed the hostess to a table. 

“Yeah. Fine. You?” Yoongi still looked stricken, and you tried to remind yourself that you shouldn’t care about Yoongi, it was just going to make everything worse. It didn’t do any good, however, and you took his hand in yours, leading him over to a two chairs next to each other. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t leave you alone again.” You said it in referral to leaving him with your brothers, but he gave you a strange look before leaning in and kissing you gently. It was all a show, and somewhere in the back of your mind you still knew that, but you wanted so badly in that moment for it to be real that you could almost pretend that it was.

A/N So how long do you think this is going to last before it blows up in both of their faces? (Hint: not long.) I have most of the next part written, so I’m going to finish it up and post it hopefully tomorrow (or maybe tonight, idk). Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think! <3 <3 <3 

[pridge]

To Hanoi and beyond - the end of the tour and finishing up in Vietnam

Once again I’ve lost track of when I last wrote….and am also not online thanks to Starbucks only allowing 30 mins connection and me now being checked out of my hotel! So we will see where this goes and there may be some repetition!!

I fly back home to the UK tonight. Whatever possessed me to book an 11pm flight I don’t know….as bit hard even lugging one small bag around Hong Kong. But I have spent several hours by the pool, in the shade, enjoying the last of the heat and devouring the 4th book in a series I only started a couple of weeks back. Thank god for Kindle!! As much as I hate the slow erosion of the traditional book industry, as I love books and the smell of new books, I also love the convenience and the access it gives authors to get published.

So, the two week tour is over. We finished off in Hanoi, after some more great visits and fun times. The diverse group, and Ha our tour guide, really did make it good fun. Hanoi, as the capital and with a different history to Saigon, really is very different. Although I have to admit to only really seeing the old city. Having forgone the final train to fly up to Hanoi alongside two of my fellow travellers, I awoke in my air-con hotel room for a quick jaunt to the hotel we were staying at as a group. They looked better than I would if I’d had another night “sleep” on a train where the beds seem to be designed to be 2 inches too short for me – and thus very uncomfortable. Thus my decision to fly! Plus flight was £40 and door to door took 5 hours or so….rather than 12 hours on the train.

Having regrouped, we were led off for a walk through Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum. Having not yet in my life visited an in-use mausoleum, I’ve seen a few empty ancient ruined ones, I really didn’t know what to expect. So how to describe it. Well, Ho Chi Minh is clearly, and understandably, a national hero in Vietnam. He was the leader against the French colonialist power, and then against the Americans and what was seen (probably justifiably) as the puppet government in the south. So he is held on a very high pedestal. He was a fascinating man – having travelled the world in his younger years including Paris where he grew many of his communist ideas, as well as New York and London. He also it seems spent time in Russia, but sadly didn’t get to meet Lenin (who had recently passed away to be replaced by that template of all dictators – Stalin). Anyway, Ho Chi Minh it seems lived a simple life whilst leading the country (although maybe not as celibate at the Vietnamese creationg “myth” would like you to believe). And as such he is central to the modern Vietnam political and national culture.

So what is a mausoleum you ask….well look it up. But they generally contain the bodies of the dead so people can still visit them. To give you an idea of what this means….current main mausoleums around the world are for Chairman Mao in China, Lenin in Russia (Stalin was removed in the early 1990’s), and I think the first great leader of North Korea. Essentially the bodies are preserved, although no-one seems clear how, so that visitors can pay their respects. The preservation seems to be a closely guarded secret of Russia, who kicked off the modern trend – which kind of makes sense having abolished religion they replaced it with leader worship….what is it with us humans! There is also some speculation as to whether we are actually seeing the bodies or some spectacular fakes. Anyway, it was fascinating.

After a long long queue – I thought Harry Potter Ride at Disney was a long queue – but very well organised by the ceremonial soldiers in their crisp white uniforms – we did get inside. Oh, I should also say there are two queues. One for the public….and another for little schoolkids – of which there were hundreds of 5-7 year olds queuing up with their teachers to visit! I cannot imagine why a one party state would want to do that….oh well besides the obvious early indoctrination.

We then entered the mausoleum, and were ordered to stay silent and respectful, and had to enter two by two, a little like boarding the arc. And there he was – laying there looking very peaceful and chilled (literally as his body is in a sealed temperature controlled box). The site of the mausoleum itself is fascinating – as it is on the site of where Ho Chi Minh lived whilst leader and then elder statesman of Vietnam. It had his simple dwellings where he lived – which the thousands of tourists all got to visit. The mausoleum is also opposite the national assembly building – which is the heart of the Vietnamese parliament and government. I do need to check out how a parliament works in a one party communist state. But the symbolism is very evident.

On that note….I think I have mentioned this before. But a communist country where health care and school has to be paid for. And there is a very free market economy. Just odd. Again, I need to understand more before really commenting.

Anyway having been to Ho Chi Land, sorry I mean the venerated late leaders mausoleum (I probably won’t ever be allowed back into Vietnam once I post this!!), the group all went and did our own thing. The rest of this will be somewhat out of order as I try and capture key moments.

The Hanoi Hilton – the old French colonial prison, converted first to a POW camp for American pilots, and now into a “museum”. And I say museum in the loosest sense. It is more a memorial to the many deaths caused by the fight against colonial rule and interference whilst gaining independence. There is probably no doubt the French were harsh with their dissidents at the time. What I struggled with was the portrayal of it as some form of great place to keep American prisoners. When the facts of the situation were many were tortured, left disabled and without proper medical treatment and scared for life. Not actually the basketball, table tennis and relaxed environment it was painted out to be. Maybe this is part of the whole reconciliation with the past and with the USA, not to dwell on this side of it. I just found it rather disingenuous after the relatively well put together other museums I’d seen in Vietnam.

The Women’s Museum on the other hand was great. A very well put together celebration and insight into the important role of women in Vietnamese history and culture. Whether their roles in the family and society, or in the independence struggle, or contribution to art and politics. This was a respectful and enjoyable museum that also gave further insight into the various other ethnic cultures that make up Vietnam as a whole.

It was in Hanoi as well that I had my first egg coffee. And I have to say it surpassed what I expected. I am now torn between that and coconut coffee as my current favourite coffee. I am not clear how it is made, but something to do with either the egg whites….or the egg yolks? Coffee, obviously. Sugar maybe….anyway it was amazing. I have a book being delivered by Amazon for when I get home on coffee and how to brew it, make it etc – and have also ordered Vietnamese coffee makers. So I will be experimenting.

It was from Hanoi that two of the highlights of the tour, if not my whole trip came. Firstly the homestay in the hills (mountains in the UK) about 4-5 hours drive outside Hanoi. After heavy rain the night before we were all a bit unsure how this would play out – especially after a number of eventful elements. Our little bus, which on the roads out here counted over 20,000 steps in the journey – it was that bumpy – coped well with the rain. I think we were all having a few doubts though – our first toilet stop allowed us to watch some torrential rain from under cover – before the whole thing early fell apart when our route was blocked because, well the bridge or road had kind of washed away and was now essentially a fast flowing waterfall. Our driver and Ha found a way round this, and we proceeded higher in the mountains.

Many really enjoyed this bit – with the sheer drops and the beautiful scenery. I just sweated as I hid on the other side of the bus. My fear of heights is something I really wish I didn’t have. It stops me doing a lot of stuff part of me would like to do – but I know I just don’t have the courage to push myself to do. I love a good adrenalin rush – but getting to these things seems to involve journeys that just make me terrified and sick. So I am not sure of the upside of it. Anyway, as we got into the mountains we then got stuck due to a recent rock slide. It had been largely cleared….phew….but then the bus got stuck on a number of large rocks. I literally couldn’t breathe as the bus first of all bounced over these boulders on this single track by a sheer drop….then got bloody stuck.

So we got out and started walking to the village, which luckily wasn’t far, whilst the driver remained to try and unstick it. Which he eventually did. We then got the village in the hills, and had another great local meal. There was some debate then as to whether to do our trek to the homestay. I had mixed feelings – it was hot and the weather a bit changeable. Also, I have to be honest and I was a bit worried about what heights I may have to contend with during it.

In the end we set-off on a 5km hike, which in reality I think was more like 7-8km. Which itself was very enjoyable. It was humid as anything – which meant everyone was drenched in sweat from the first steps, but it was overcast and we were thankful – as doing that in the 35 degrees and sun we had seen up to that point would have been terrible. Instead we had about 30 degrees and overcast – and this made for some amazing views of the valleys and the low clouds. It wasn’t a terribly tough walk in terms of terrain, there were some ups and downs, but nothing that felt death defying. In the end it was more than worth it for the serenity, the scenery and the exercise.

As we emerged from a gorge onto a pebbly beach by a large lake (in fact a reservoir) our boat was waiting for us to take us to the homestay. The journey to the homestay was pretty special as we chugged along on our boat. When I say boat, it was more like a large sardine tin with some of the can still there as a roof and a motor at the back. But it was delightful as we all realised we’d survived an exhausting trek, and needed food and beer. The homestay had that, and was so much more.

As we rounded out of another gorgeous valley formed by the reservoir we say where we were staying ahead of us. At the riverfront of a small village of a few hundred people they’d built a nice, but not luxurious, stilt house. We had hot showers. We had cold beer. We had great local food. Then we had some traditional dancing – which was both authentic (as in felt real, partly because it felt like the locals weren’t entirely practiced, but also friendly) and fun. We were asked if we could perform something from our culture – but our mix of Aussies, Brits, Canadian and Poles struggled to come up with anything that connected us, let alone that we could perform. Our ideas ranged from national anthems, to Saturday Night by Wigfield. We managed to get out of it by essentially making clear we were both lacking in talent and culture. It was interesting as in a village of 300 we probably had all the local girls dancing for us. This reminded me of my earlier concerns about tourist imperialism and ruination of local cultures. This real performance though, for tourists, was perhaps in this instance, a way of keeping their traditions and culture alive in the face of the westernisation going on across so much of Asia. I hope it never just turns into “another tourist attraction” for them though.

After a decent night sleep, maybe helped by rice wine, in the communal hut, we left with slightly heavy hearts after such beautiful surroundings and friendly people. We even met the village elder, who at 85 had moved to the village as a small child and never left. Weird thinking about how little had changed in her world beyond electricity and communication, whilst so much of the wider world went through so much in that period.

The boat trip then took 2 hours across this vast reservoir. It gave you a real feel for some of the local life though. They were clearly farming the forests, as shown by burnt out areas, and evidence of logging, but not in the chaotic way you might imagine. For every burnt out area, there was an area showing new or young growth. They clearly realise instinctively the need to sustain their resources, whilst they control them at least. All the while remaining so poor by western, and even Vietnamese city standards.

After returning to Hanoi and the chaos of the city streets that continued to bemuse and mystify some of my fellow travellers, our next major trip was to Ha Long Bay. Before that though, I must say something about the streets of Hanoi. It is a strange place in the old city. Each street seems to be its own shopping speciality – we were staying on what can best be described as hardware street – selling locks, chains, metal wheels, screws. If you walked round the corner you might find yourself in home lighting street, or zipper and tassle street, or home fabric street, or shoe street – or pretty much any street. It is charming – but also just so strange. How does having dozens of shops selling the same thing for a whole street make any sense? If you need a new padlock, you have to travel across the city to this one street to buy it – and all the shops are literally the same! So charming yes. Makes supply chain easy I suppose as wholesalers just have to deliver to one street. But makes no sense to me. Maybe I am searching for sense in things I shouldn’t be, and should just accept the difference of it all.

So Ha Long Bay. This was a real challenging experience. One of Vietnams main tourist attractions are the 140million year old islands that still out to create this bay, there are more than 1,000 of them. All largely uninhabited in this UNESCO world heritage site. As such there is a teaming port and hotel land being created to service it. Luckily the authorities have limited construction of new boats, which means at least it shouldn’t be getting any worse. As there are a LOT of boats and a LOT of tourists. Leaving the bay on our private boat felt a bit like leaving as part of some form of armada. Just one full of people with cameras!! This all felt somehow wrong to me. As we stormed out of the bay we headed for our first site – the largest caves in the islands.

Whilst sceptical, these caves were wonderful and also fun. By this point our merry little band of travellers had bonded somewhat and there was lots of laughter and childish behaviour as we went through the caves. Not helped by halfway through there being one rock formation that a local guide described to his elderly Japanese group as the “rifle rock”….now let me tell you  - it did not look much like a rifle. Frankly, it was an erect penis. Sticking out at 45 degrees and of a red hue of rock. Our group could barely contain our giggles after this. As we looked for more and more weird and wonderful sites in these beautiful caves, whilst Ha attempted to keep some semblance of order, and we frankly behaved like 6 year olds on a school trip without supervision.

The rest then climbed a massive hill, whilst I avoided getting stuck halfway up the steep and narrow walk and thus embarrassing myself, by relaxing on the sundeck of the boat all by myself. That evening we had yet more good local food – and then cracked on with karaoke. Not the widest selection of tunes, and everyone clearly agreed I really cannot sing (which I had told people before, but not everyone was at the last karaoke), but what I completely lack in talent I try and make up for in eagerness. Another enjoyable night before retiring to our frankly very nice little cabins.

And with that, and out of order, this last part of the tour was one, and we were finished with Hanoi. My journey isn’t quite over as I still have a couple of final days in Hong Kong to reflect on as well as the trip overall. But we had a very nice time as a group – and there were no arguments or fallings out. We had such a great mix of people from those who needed to know the plans to those who would just wander off. From those who had an avid interest in any market available, to a couple of us who essentially avoided markets like the plague (I’d seen enough of them by then). Everyone was kind, funny, intelligent and often sarcastic. The last night meal I actually found sadder than I expected, having been possibly the one who spent the most time going off on their own and doing their own thing (often just drinking coffee with a book). Would I do another tour – maybe. But certainly more likely than before. I did find the whole thing hard at times, as I’ve explained in previous blogs, and brought back memories that were both sweet and bit bitter at the same time. And wasn’t easy not having anyone I knew well enough to talk to about it – and not wanting to drag anyone else into my occasional melancholy either!! Maybe something I’ll touch on again in my final reflections when I write them!

And then just like that I am on a flight back to Hong Kong as I start to make my way home!

[yogaadvise]

Yoga Helped Me Find Happiness

I went to my first yoga class in 1999 to tackle tension and also neck and back pain. At the time I was a news support and press reporter, and also I was not able to sit at the information workdesk or stand for an online report without experiencing shooting and/or throbbing discomfort. My high-octane life of continuous deadlines, weird hours, absence of rest, and strange working problems manifested in 2 different spinal column conditions and high anxiety-bad news for a newsperson. Often I would push the floor throughout industrial breaks simply so I could really feel adequate alleviation to obtain up and muster a smile for the cams despite the pain.

Every min at the office was completed with broach calamity, dilemma, debate, and also violence, all which had taken a toll on my heart and also my individual life. I had few coping abilities for this level as well as sort of tension, so, like lots of others in the sector, I became seasoned, transformed to alcoholic drinks, and held everything in-a dish for toxicity. 3 of my friends/coworkers with similar way of lives were identified with cancer cells in their mid-30s, and also one died a couple of years ago. Gratefully, I never got so sick that I was on life support, but definitely, I was not sustaining my very own health and wellness very well.

Because of my spinal column, my doctors banned me from almost all the tasks that aided me manage tension, including the super-sweaty cardio exercises that likewise maintained me slim and camera-ready. Doctors also instructed me to obtain in as well as out of a car an unique method. Many evenings I couldn't sleep without medicine. Every part of my life was jeopardized by my wellness, as well as my wellness was being endangered by every part of my life-a terrible cycle that maintained eroding my mind, body, and spirit. I seemed like I remained in a physical as well as emotional storm cloud everyday. A single gal at the time, I was not an enjoyable day. My heart was enduring, as well as I feared I would never discover my true love. In brief, I was unhappy.

In the middle of a selection of medical therapies for my back troubles, consisting of anti-inflammatory spine injections, electro-stimulus, prescription drugs, acupuncture, and months of physical therapy, I attempted yoga exercise. I really felt better physically, initially, simply for short amount of times. I was cynical regarding whether yoga would help me. Allow's be truthful, in the past, I had actually been stress busting by kickboxing, and this was the complete opposite. I located I was challenged physically by the postures and also measurably calmer after each course. I wondered to recognize more. Physicians claimed that to 'take care of' my spinal column they would certainly have to cut through the front of my neck for surgical procedure. Also so, they could not assure total discomfort relief. Confronted with that reality, I kept mosting likely to yoga.

I fluctuated between skeptic and also willing pupil. I fit in as many courses as my routine enabled as well as was fortunate to have educated and caring instructors. When I couldn't make it to course, I did items of the postures from class, and also I did them almost everywhere. I extended at the information workdesk throughout commercial breaks. I bented in the corners of airports. I breathed deeply in web traffic jams to unwind. I practiced meditation to handle one disorderly scenario after another. I can't recall precisely when points moved, yet yoga came to be part of my everyday life.

My spine specialists were cynical, stressed that yoga exercise would certainly hurt me instead of assist me. They saw actual physical renovation, however, and they offered me a thumbs-up for even more yoga exercise. My body got more powerful. My mind became calmer. I slept much better, which offered my body a better shot at resting and fixing itself. Some modern medicine was needed to help treat me, but a pattern became clear to me: I might insert some sort of yoga in different moments of my day, and I would certainly feel much better. Think what? I never had the back surgery, as well as even more compared to a years after all these issues, I'm basically pain-free.

Today, a boosting number of clinical researches support just what I had found throughout my journey from pain as well as tension: My mind assisted my body feel better, as well as my body assisted my mind really feel much better. Just what the yogis had actually experienced for countless years, I experienced in modern life. Undoubtedly, I can claim yoga exercise was a significant element in changing my health, and truly, my life. Actually, my yoga exercise practice was my medication, it conserved me-physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually. In my mid-40s currently, I feel I am the healthiest variation of me that's ever before existed.

In a word, I got happy.

Deeply passionate about yoga exercise's capacity to transform, or at least just aid individuals really feel a small amount far better every day, I decided to find out ways to teach it. My trainees were happy discovering also the tiniest traits that made them really feel better, as well as they wanted a lot more for the times they couldn't concern class.

I spent the initial 20 years of my career in the media, supplying news and details about the globe through tv and Web. Currently, in this book, I feel I am relaying one of the most vital details I could potentially provide: an easy-to-understand, easily accessible way to aid people really feel much better and also be happier-regardless of degree, age, gender, ethnic culture, or life circumstances.

When I initially started yoga, I could possibly do only 20 percent of any kind of class, if that. I had the following reactions: 1) I do not like this, 2) This isn't really doing anything, 3) I do not really feel anything, 4) This is a waste of my time, 5) I cannot do these postures, 6) I don't like this educator, as well as 7) I desire to leave course. I listen to a mix of those traits from a great deal of people that are new, have injuries, or have doubts. Think me, I comprehend. I see people who are stressed out, harming, or having a hard time somehow, and also it swiftly takes me back to exactly how I really felt back then. Because I have been there, I could state with overall authenticity to you and anybody, 'You could feel much better also! It'll take time. Try this. Keep doing it. It functions.'

Yoga isn't really regarding coming to be a human pretzel, being vegan, or putting on stylish exercise clothing to an eco-friendly juice bar. It's a lifestyle and developing behaviors to live a life of less suffering and also more peace as well as happiness.

This item has actually been changed from Christine Chen's new book Happy-Go-Yoga: Simple Positions to Relieve Pain, Reduce Stress, as well as Add Joy. It's the result of revelations in her very own healing trip, hundreds of hrs of instructor trainings, years of training students of all kinds, and also her very own ever-changing self-practice.

[frabexit-blog]

Ella, Tangalle and Mirissa

We caught a train from Kandy to Ella, with no snacks, thinking it would only be a couple of hours.. 7 hours later we arrived pretty hangry. Totally worth it though because it is actually the most beautiful train journey in the world. We sat on the floor by the open door and dangled our legs out the whole way.

We walked 5 mins to our hostel which was the worst place we had ever seen. Literally a shack on stilts, on the busiest main road in the town and full of lots of little pets in the bathroom. It was called 'SpiceHut' which is never a good start. Frankie had a cockroach crawl up her leg when she was brushing her teeth, never screamed so loud. We found food at a restaurant next door and had 8 Sri Lankan curries and rice each for £2 each, one of which was a jack fruit curry OMG so bloody marvellous.

The next morning we packed up and ran as fast as we could out the door in search of a new home. After maps taking us the wrong way and walking up a mountain in 30 degree heat with all our stuff, we arrived at a guesthouse in the middle of nowhere, bunned off their wifi and found somewhere else. Third time lucky we found a lovely little guesthouse WITH A BALCONY.

After some lunch we decided to walk to Ravana Falls, we were told it was a 45 minute walk so we set off full of promise and excitement. Took us 3 hours actually. It was such a fun journey we got caught in a huge storm and had to walk bare foot down massive windy roads, people kept stopping to give us a lift but we were like NAAAH WE’RE ENGLISH WE LOVE ABIT OF RAIN (ironic as we both came down with deadly colds the next day). After about 3km we found a beautiful hotel and walked in looking like two wet, feral children, everyone inside was dressed amazingly for their buffet lunch. The kind man let us in for a coffee even at the risk of upsetting customers and ruining their rep. We met a lot of dogs on the way down and even a few monkeys, our Frankie has a bit of a monkey complex but she was v brave (and dogs and cows).

At the end of the 7km walk the waterfall was beautiful and we felt well ard for walking when we saw everyone getting off their tourist coaches, we tried to swim but a policeman came and fished us out because it was too dangerous apparently (eejit).

We woke up the next day feeling rank but we soldiered on. Thinking it was just down the road we went to visit the 9 arch bridge, but actually it was another 5km climb. WE LOVE CLIMBING! In the evening we went for dinner at a little shack called ‘Matey Hut’ recommended to us and it was bloody bootiful. There’s only 4 tables and it’s a tiny place but the food!! The world needs to embrace pumpkin curry it is incredible.

The next day we had to move hostels AGAIN, but moved about 3 mins down the road to another super cute guesthouse. We both felt rank from walking in the rain so we laid in bed all day and watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s and ate crisps. The guy who owned it made us an absolutely cracking breakfast the next morning. His wife was away for Sri Lankan New Year, poor sod, so he was holding the fort and kept bringing us more food to try and please us as much as possible. Bex wrapped some of it up to take ‘for lunch’ but actually saved it and fed it to the wee dogs up the mountain. We climbed little Adam’s Peak which was beautiful and not that difficult now we’re professional climbers. The views over Ella were amazing and there were puppies at the top which were so adorable. I love that all mountains seem to have pups at the top it’s such a reward (Bex obviously, Franks don’t like dogs much) (alien).

We went for a coffee on the way down at a cute cafe over looking the valley , we stayed there for aaaaages it was such a little sun trap. Then headed back to the hostel before going for dinner which was absolutely rubbish. The waiter brought out wobbly popadoms so I asked him to bring some legit ones and he was like ‘nooo they’re meant to be moist’ I mean I haven’t dedicated my life to researching the texture of popadoms but I know a stale one when I see it. Me and Franks weren’t appy!

ELLA - TANGALLE.

Got the old 31 bus to Tangalle, now I look back on it I can laugh but at the time I thought I was going to blow chunks all over the Sri Lankan locals, finally I got a seat but I saw a little girl standing up so I let her sit on my lap and my god what a regret, the wee nugget fell asleep and not only was she 100degrees but she was dead weight, frankie was sat at the back like the queen while I was baby sitting a heavy ball of fire, cute though!!! We arrived at our hostel where the staff were all getting blotto for late New Year celebrations, we had the most beeeautiful sea view room. We met a dog called Freddy who slept on our balcony but Bex woke up covered in flea bites from all the cuddling - rank.

The next day we played in the sea but it was mucho aggresso, we both lost our sunnies when we were piggybacking and got taken out by a wave BUT the most remarkable thing happened when 3 hours later we were sunbathing and Bex’s glasses washed up on to the shore sitting perfectly on the beach. Frankie’s are still in the sea, we like to believe they’re being worn by a wonderful dolphin who’s feeling super sassy.

The hostel owner had the cutest son who was like 7. We played bat and ball with him which was cute (***BEX played with him, bloody Frankie went and hid, I sacrificed myself for you) but when he kept turning up at 7am at our bedroom window, and we woke up to him staring at us with a bat in his hand it all got a bit creepy. After our bad experience with sea the day before we found a calmer bit of ocean and we didn’t get out for 4 hours and splashed around being beached whales when other girls tried to look all sexy. We did competitions and we sung songs really loud and just looked generally really cool.

After a week of bumming around on the beach we hopped on a bus to another beach.

MIRISSA

When we arrived in Mirissa we immediately dumped our stuff and went back to our beloved sea. Bex instantly got blown miles to the shore by a wave leaving Franks just a little dot in the ocean, the waves were NOT OKAY.

The next day we looked for a swimming pool, we asked a TukTuk driver to take us a few beaches down the road but he went half hour to Weligama beach instead, found the cutest pool which they let us use for free at ‘Good Story’ spent the rest of the day splashing about like morons, I feel like people are always confused when we’re in water like 'how long can they stay in there? Did they get out when we weren’t watching? Why aren’t they shrivelled up like raisins? Why is that girl tormenting her poor friend?’ That evening we played cards with our lovely pal Samuel who was a bit of a buzz.

A couple of days later I had savage chest pains, I think it was from being taken out by the waves but I was convinced I was having a heart attack, I plopped down outside a shop and couldn’t get back up so me and Franks hopped in a tuk tuk to the docs. The waiting room was a free for all and all eyes were on me being the weird white girl holding a freezer block on her chest, me and Franks gave the best A* drama performance of all time and they all said I could be seen first (if they’re all going to stare we may aswell make it worth while AMARIGHT). Doc was nice until he recommended going to the hospital for an ECG and in that second I had a miraculous recovery, thanked him for his time and ran away at speed. After a lot of debate we went to the hospital where it was like there had been a zombie apocalypse, the tellies were on but there was no one home.

We walked through and found the whole hospital having a late New Year party (there was even a DJ) in the garden, all the nurses and doctors were having races and apple bobbing and I was having a suspected heart attack. One matey finally came over to help me, I wasn’t convinced he was a doctor he looked like he was doing it for a laugh but he sent me for an ecg and asked me adult questions so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Got in a right strop because the nurses tried to make me get my wee nips out in front of the ward of staring Sri Lankan’s and they kept telling me to calm down cos I was shouting like a hooligan about the lack of curtain drawing. Luckily my gal Frankie was on full nipple patrol. ANYWAY was just a pulled muscle but was a really fun morning in the end!

Naturally after this we went for cocktails to celebrate and then went to find Turtle Beach

It was so jeffin beautiful, a super quiet corner of the beach where we hired a snorkel and dived straight in. Within 5 mins we were swimming with metre long green turtles and it was incredible. Bex probably shouldn’t have been doing it with severe chest pains but it was the last day so had just get over it. At least we knew she wasn’t dying..

The next part of the journey was probably the worst experience we’ve had in the time we’ve been away and to be honest we don’t wanna relive it but here we go. We had made a decision to move closer to the airport a day before our flight so we didn’t have such a long journey, what a bloody stupid idea that was. The train was fine to Colombo, the bus to Negombo was full so we had to get a tuk-tuk (cost a bloody fortune), there was a petrol strike so the tuk-tuk driver couldn’t get petrol and was freaking out, we got super stressed, the cash point kept rejecting my card so I couldn’t pay for the tuk-tuk, the tuk-tuk broke down, we had to change to another one, it was pissing down with rain, the hostel we wanted to go to wasn’t in Negombo (was another 10km’s so an extra £10 to get there) so we ended up at a random guesthouse down a dark road by the airport miles away from anywhere chosen by a sign on a main road that had pretty writing on it. It had A/C and the owner made us tea. After a bit of dinner at the only restaurant in a 3 mile radius, it was bed and then on to JAPAAAAANNNN