#i did the visuals... and wrote it of course! ;D

[britishchick09]

♥NEW VIDEO!♥ Rewrite Christine discovers the inner workings of love in this POTO Rewritten audio short story!

[yumeka-sxf]

Thoughts on Spy x Family: Family Portrait

I finally got around to reading the SxF light novel, Family Portrait...and I mean "finally" because it's literally been sitting in my shelf since it was first released in English back in December of last year! I was distracted by Code White and the SxF video game which came out around the same time, but even long after that, I was having trouble getting motivated to read it. For some reason, experiencing SxF in novel format instead of in anime/manga just didn't appeal to me, plus the fact that it's not written by Endo himself (these weird preferences of mine are also why I'm not into reading fanfics either). Don't get me wrong, in general I love reading stories in prose form too, but for a series like SxF that already has such an established visual identity, it doesn't feel as "authentic" to me if that makes any sense. But I did want to read it eventually, since it is an official part of SxF media and Endo did the illustrations and does acknowledge the book (he wrote a nice afterword at the end). So I finally sat down and read it in sections over the course of this week! I'll share my brief thoughts on each of the contained stories:

Novel Mission 1

Since this was the first story in the book, it took me a while to get used to experiencing the world of SxF in novel form. There were some things I felt would have been better conveyed in anime/manga, for example, one of the very first gags about Yor misinterpreting Anya's nature class as some sort of hardcore outdoor survival trip. As I was reading that part I was like "I get the joke, but it would have been funnier if I actually saw these images and the characters' expressions with Endo's comedic illustrations." It was also a bit jarring to hear the characters thoughts and feelings from third-person narration, but I got used to it. As for the story itself, it was Damianya focused, something I'm not particularly into, but I don't mind it either. I liked the rare, soft Damian moments, and the thing with the squirrel eating Anya's peanut trail was funny. I also liked the scene at the beginning where Loid and Yor feed Bond together while Anya watches.

Novel Mission 2

Oddly, this was my favorite of the stories! Of all the characters, I think the author nailed Yuri's unhinged thoughts the best - as I was reading, I couldn't help but hear every cringe thought in his voice, which is a good sign of how well the author gets the character! I actually chuckled at a few parts too, both from his insane Yor-obsessed and anti-Loid musings, as well as from his banter with Anya. The police interrogation scene was great and would be even better if it ever gets animated! I also found it interesting that this story has the first instance where we find out what Yuri thinks about Bond (that he's fat and useless - rude!) Also his first time hearing about Franky apparently...makes we wonder if Endo will make him feel the same way if these things ever come up in the manga.

Novel Mission 3

I liked this story a lot too! I think it worked the best in novel format out of all of them, probably because it was more focused on drama and emotions than comedy. It's ironic that the two official SxF stories that feature the deeper side of Franky's character - this one and the omake chapter from volume 13 - are both not even part of the main canon! Alessa would have definitely accepted Franky's job as an informant, but he felt that someone like her should only be surrounded by "beautiful things." The poor man really needs to see that inner beauty matters too, and he has that! I also think he should have swallowed his pride and told Loid the real reason why he wanted the disguise...not that it would have changed the outcome. Poor Franky.

Novel Mission 4

This was a cute Forger-focused story, but like the first one, I felt it had parts that would have been more effective in anime/manga form, for example, "hair monster" Yor and whatever hideous painting Felix ended up making! But despite that, it was still funny and cute. Though I do think the author went a tad overboard with Yor's flustered antics...they just kept going and going, lol. Also, like the movie, we have another scenario of Loid getting flung into the air by Yor but landing gracefully on his feet (though this instance was much tamer since she wasn't drunk and only pushed him instead of hit him). Again, maybe I would have appreciated the humor in this story better if I saw it in anime/manga with Endo's hilarious designs and expressions, but for what it was, it was enjoyable enough.

Short Novel

This extra short story would be perfect as a reintroduction story for a future anime season...maybe one day!

-----

Overall, the Family Portrait novel is a nice addition to the Spy x Family universe. Even though I feel the humor in the series is most effective in illustrated form, it's still nice to have more stories in the canon, especially ones that show new sides to the characters, like the Franky and Yuri stories. Like the movie, it's debatable if this novel should be considered true canon or not, but personally, I don't find anything in it that contradicts canon, at least not yet. So yeah, definitely check out the novel if you haven't already! 😁

[technicolorfamiliar]

D O U B L E F E A T U R E !

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari Dir. Robert Weine 1920 // Orlacs Hände (The Hands of Orlac) Dir. Robert Wiene 1924

I recently watched both, Caligari specifically because I was invited on a friend's podcast to talk about the film (I was totally normal about it and definitely didn't make color coded note cards about the making of the movie… I did, I did make color coded note cards). So I figured I would lump these two in one post to switch things up.

--- Even though we talked about the movie for an hour and change, the conversation we recorded for the pod easily could have gone longer. There's so much to unpack about The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Between its historical, cinematic, artistic, and cultural significance and legacy, but also the various players on and off camera, not to mention the film's genesis from concept to page to screen -- there's no shortage of rabbit holes to go down.

Something I wish I had brought up during the recording was the score: The score matters! These updated silent film scores really do affect the viewer experience, and they're so often hit or miss. Of course, the original score for Caligari has been lost to time, but I read that the premier of in New York had classical music (Prokofiev, Stravinsky, etc) played along to the screening; part of me thinks this would be fun to try to recreate. I have no memory of the music when I first saw the film in 2009, but when I rewatched Caligari about a year ago, early in my Conrad Veidt journey, I chose a version on Internet Archive (which is, as of late October, sadly still out of commission *cries in nerd*) and the updated score was almost entirely minimal strings, which created a suitably eerie effect. I couldn't find that exact version elsewhere, so I this time opted for the 2014 restoration that's on Kanopy. The 2014 score is… fine. It’s very busy, trying too hard to sound like a traditional movie soundtrack. There's another version with a really painfully bad guitar-heavy score that I couldn't sit through even 5 minutes of, and still another that's entirely synths. Apparently the new 4K UHD/Blu-Ray that was just released has two new options for the score -- hopefully at least one of them doesn't totally suck!

I noticed deep into my third time viewing the film that I hadn't reached for my phone once. These days, I'll occasionally pick it up and mindlessly scroll through social media while watching a movie. But I think Caligari and a few other silent films require closer attention since they're a purely visual medium. I found myself greedily devouring every frame of Caligari. No shot or scene feels wasted. Honestly, I feel like every movie should be 90 minutes long or less. Anything longer should be turned into a miniseries. But in all seriousness, Caligari is another film I want to physically walk into. It would be pretty easy to recreate these sets, life size in grayscale black and white. The more I think about this, the more I need it. So, so bad.

I also came away this time with a lot of questions, mostly about the main part of the narrative, the story Franzis is telling. But the framing device makes the questions pointless. If the main story is just Franzis's delusion, then the absurdity of the script is totally fine I guess? Except the script that Hans Janowitz and Carl Mayer wrote didn't have Franzis as a patient at the asylum, they hated the framing story twist that was forced on their movie, so all those weird parts of the script and character choices that I'm overthinking and reading too much into are rendered meaningless. It's all in Franzis's head! The story and the characters in it don't matter! Or else are just part of his subconscious! Face palm. Eye roll.

Does the movie even work without the framing device? It would be interesting to show an edited version of the movie without the first and last scenes to someone who's never seen it. And if the twist ending was supposed to dumb down the anti-authoritarian message of the script, I don't know that it's successful. In the end, I still have empathy for Franzis. And we still have an ambiguous ending: Caligari/The Asylum Director looks at Mad Franzis and says, "I know just how to cure him," and there's a creepy iris wipe in on Werner Krauss's face that maybe leads us to think Franzis isn't as delusional as we think he is. So like… even if the whole Dr. Caligari with his sleepy twink in a box story is fake, whatever is happening at the asylum is probably just as messed up if not worse.

Speaking of the twink in a box, I love that Conrad Veidt's German Expressionism is totally different from Werner Krauss's German Expressionism. They both trained and performed with Max Reinhardt, so their foundations as theater actors in the 1910s and 1920s were likely similar. But, regardless or in spite of that shared experience, they are diametrically different human beings and that comes across in their performances in this movie. These two actors are like the textbook definition of "showing" your art vs. "being" your art. Krauss as Caligari is like "ooOOOoo look how ooky spooky and evil I am!", whereas Connie's performance as Cesare, even though it's hyper-stylized, is infused with something deeper, something primal that feels believable in the context of the film.

If Cesare has been asleep his whole life, waking only to be fed Chunky Campbell's Soup and commit murder at Caligari's bidding, then no wonder he reacts the way he does when sleeping Jane finally brings him out of his trance. When she freaks out, he freaks out too because he's had no opportunity to learn how to behave like a human or how to filter his primal emotions in a socially acceptable way. He hasn't lived his life except to be a madman's puppet. He reacts to Jane's panic on instinct and impulse, his desire and fear feel feral, like he's more creature or an animal than a human man. He may not actually want to hurt Jane, but he reacts violently because fight or flight is a basic human stress response! He runs away and eventually collapses because his body can't handle the sudden onslaught of stress and emotion he's never before experienced! And this internal, instinctual tendency to violence is subtly alluded to in the final scene when Asylum Cesare both caresses and slowly picks apart the flowers he's holding. Ahhhhh, I have so many FEELINGS.

And that said… Connie's performance here is wild, but it's real in a way that Werner Krauss's work could never be because Connie was a spiritual humanist who cared deeply for others and Krauss was an anti-semitic piece of shit who therefore could NEVER dig deep enough into his soul or into the collective unconscious the way Connie did to breathe life into his characters. So everything Krauss is doing here and in The Student of Prague is all surface, it's "showing" the audience his training and his actor toolbox rather than bringing a level of honesty and in-the-moment groundedness to these roles.

This is not to say Connie's intense commitment to his work couldn't be, uh, excessive. I really hope Lil Dagover was being serious when she said he would lurk around the studio in character when off camera. Can you imagine? You go up to the craft services table for a snack. Suddenly you feel like you're being watched. You look up and he's looming over you in the shadows, his unblinking glazed eyes boring into your soul. God, I hope this happened and I hope whoever it happened to peed themselves a little.

I also wish we had a behind the scenes photo of Connie in costume with the Cesare dummy. I can't believe someone actually had to make that prop. It'll haunt me forever. (The 1920 Cesare Dummy isn't real, the 1920 Cesare Dummy can't hurt me.)

Bottom line: It's an important film, I appreciate it for both its timelessness and timefullness. But it's not a movie I need to revisit often, regardless of how enchanting Connie's nostril acting may be.

---

The first time I watched The Hands of Orlac, I was floored by the visuals, the staging, and the heavy eroticism. Up until that point, I hadn't seen very many silent films, certainly few as visually striking. I think my initial impressions of this film were somewhat muted on a second watch, but that may just because I knew what to expect.

This time, I wasn't as swept up in the magic of silent era German Expressionist cinema, although stylistically I'm still absolutely 100% obsessed. Art direction wise, this is my favorite between the surviving Wiene-Veidt films (I haven't seen Furcht and I don’t plan to). Orlac is like the darker, sexier, more grown up sister to Caligari's mall goth teen. It's Vampira vs Lydia Deetz.

Orlac is just as much if not more of a cinematic feat than Caligari. The production design and art direction alone feels more mature and in itself tells more of a story.

Very early in the film, we're thrown into a very impressive, very realistic train crash. Opening the movie this way was a really interesting choice -- we don't get to meet the characters before the accident that starts Paul and Yvonne Orlac on their doomed and bizarre trajectory. There is a brief establishing scene of Yvonne reading a really horny letter from her husband, and one of pianist Paul at his final concert before returning home. Then there's a very long sequence of the aftermath of the train crash that almost kills Paul, and this scene brings a level of realism you don't really get in other films of this genre/done in this style. The set construction looks expensive; the mangled train cars piled up in heaps may have been fabricated in the studio, but because of the lighting in the night scene, the billowing smoke from passing locomotives and fires from the crash, it looks pretty damn real for 1924. It's extremely effective and harrowing, especially as Yvonne races to the site of the crash and climbs through the wreckage to try to find her husband. The chaos of the scene, made all the more disorienting by the movement of search lights and the haze of smoke and steam, feels true to life. People are running around, pulling bodies from the ruined train cars, carrying them away on stretchers. Survivors look around dazed, clutching their belongings in shock. It's such a well directed moment in the film, but maybe not the first thing people remember about it. And I think it's inclusion is important because it offsets how weird the movie's about to get.

And boy, does it get weird. However, the doctor does say Paul suffered a skull fracture, so it's not a huge stretch to think he also has some kind of brain injury. So I wonder if that has something to do with how the filmmakers chose to show Paul's intense fear and paranoia, as well as the movie's shift in tone and style after his accident. The nightmarishness of the film, from the exaggerated performances to the set design, feels like an extension of whatever might be going on in Paul's head as a result of his injury.

Regardless, I love the choices the art director made. The set, especially the Art Deco mausoleum the Orlacs have for a home, is so perfect. The huge, cavernous rooms are completely unnecessary, but they make the characters look and feel so helpless, like dolls in a doll house. The lines of the walls and the furnishings draw the eye through the frame with just as much intention as the painted sets of Caligari. Even places outside their house become symbolic and iconographic. The news stand is just a window cut out of a massive wall of loose sheets of newspaper that takes up the entire frame. The interior of Orlac Sr.'s house is like a old, drafty castle, looking more like the home of an evil, miserly king. The tavern where Paul is confronted by Nera feels dank and subterranean, just a lamp or two removed from literal catacombs. The outer world is fully a reflection of poor Paul Orlac's inner torment and despair and I AM LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

The new music composed by Paul Mercer is perfect, too. It's all skronky violins and cellos, ominous percussion and piano. It's just atmospheric enough, creating moments of soundscapes, echoing footsteps, aural suggestions of the oppressive cave-like rooms where the story unfolds. There aren't really any memorable themes like in the updated score for The Student of Prague, but that works for this movie. I would buy this soundtrack and actually listen to it on its own, it's that good.

Everyone in the ensemble is basically on the same page in terms of acting style, no one feels out of place or miscast. Connie of course steals the show, but Alexandra Sorina as Yvonne gives him a run for his money. She's a good match for him, delivering an appropriately desperate and hysterical (and deeply, deeply horny) performance as the touch-starved wife. Their scenes together are maybe some of the best on screen romantic moments of Connie's silent film work because these two are wildly hungry for each other. This movie is so funny, it tells you immediately how horny it is; in the first 30 seconds of the movie, Yvonne gets a letter from Paul that says, "I will feel your body beneath my hands," like they're telling you straight up this is going to Horn Town. And the way she grabs at him, presses her open mouth to him, hovers over him in his hospital bed, she is DTF anywhere any time. And no shame, no shade, good for her. This is a sex positive film, and we love to see it. But she's not just the sexy wife, she's also totally ride or die for Paul. She truly trusts him and believes his absolutely buck wild story about being blackmailed by a dead psycho killer. What a gal.

Then there's Paul, aka Eraserhead Baby… because when he wakes up from surgery covered in bandages, he looks like the Eraserhead Baby. Connie is doing some of his finest nostril acting in this role, I have to say. As always, I am fascinated by his physicality and the choices he's making with movement and gesture. When his bandages are finally removed, he reacts as though drugged, his movements slow as though underwater or in a dream. And when he confronts his surgeon after discovering the original owner of his newly transplanted hands, he holds them out and away from his body as if they were coated in something dirty or disgusting. As Paul's life and sanity unravel, his hands and fingers are in almost constant motion, curling, twitching, clutching; his body language becomes more creature-like, moving in a way that calls up Cesare the sleepwalker -- interestingly, the two characters both seemingly at the mercy of forces outside their control.

We don’t get to know what Paul was like before the accident, how much this traumatic event changed him. There's something this movie is trying to say about trauma and how it affects people. The doctor tells Paul, "Nature and a strong will can overcome anything." But if Paul sustained any kind of serious brain damage, who’s to say his personality wasn't affected, or that he wasn't fragile and suggestible to begin with? Either way, in the wake of the accident, Paul's vulnerability and circumstance makes him a perfect target for Nera's grift.

Even without being targeted by a sick weirdo con artist, it's no wonder Paul's really going through it. He tortures and punishes himself relentlessly for something that wasn't his fault! (Been there.) He puts on a recording of one of his old concerts and crumples in grief for having lost not only his livelihood but also his outlet for creative expression -- not being able to do what you used to creatively because of trauma is REAL. He's trapped in his misery. Even his handwriting is different, now a violent scrawl he imagines is due to the murderous acts his hands supposedly committed. He secretly retrieves the planted murder weapon in order to further convince himself he's somehow become evil, wielding it as through he committed the crimes of the dead man whose hands now belong to him. And the scenes where Yvonne comes to him, wanting to both devour and comfort him, he cannot bring himself to touch her. Clearly they love each other very much and their relationship was very physical, so the agony and yearning in his face when she embraces him is UGH IT'S SO GOOD. It's heartbreaking. There's a lot to unravel here about trauma, body dysmorphia, and intimacy that I'm interested to dig into during subsequent viewings.

Final thoughts: There's an annoying part of my brain that wants the movie to make sense, for the timeline to be clearer, for loose ends to be tied up. But I know that none of that really matters because this movie is better received as a dream or a nightmare. And by that logic, it doesn't have to make sense. The Expressionist beats are being hit particularly hard, but the surreal quality allows the filmmakers and cast to get away with it. For fans of Conrad Veidt, this is a must-watch, even before Caligari -- he gets more screen time in this film, gets to play with his silent film artist's palette, and gets to do pathos like he's the king of tragic, pathetic characters. He's gangly, glassy-eyed, and trembling like a small wet dog the whole time and it's superb. Despite not really getting a chance to know the Orlacs before they're thrown into their own personal hell of body horror and credit debt, they're both pretty sympathetic. From psychological commentary to the erotic visuals and tension, it's all very ahead of its time.

[distant-velleity]

can't even give this a title 💀💀 it's just a self-indulgent crack premise taken slightly seriously. blame any possible oocness on the fact that i was laughing my ass off the whole time i wrote this

summary - (twirls hair with disgust) so there's this one savanaclaw npc... word count - 1k+ warnings - the tweels (affectionate) tagging - @thehollowwriter enjoy this absolute ridiculousness with me

~

“Gentlemen,” declares Azul, propping his elbows on his desk, “we may have a problem.”

Jade tilts his head. “Oh? Whatever could it be?”

“Sounds drastic,” drawls Floyd, not meaning it at all.

Azul huffs. “You can make that judgment for yourself.” He gestures with a flourish of his hand. “Chrysos, if you would provide us with your report.”

“Right.” Chrysos softly clears his throat. “First, the perpetrator—Darren Ursus, a bear beastman from Savanaclaw, class 1-D number 2. A member of the Spelldrive Club. Normally, once Crewel’s class lets out, he goes straight to leave—however, recently he has been hanging around until the absolute last possible minute; additionally, I have noticed him actively trying to encounter the TA when he believes no one is looking. He seems to be attempting to impress Wei.” 

His composed look cracks with a barely-hidden grimace. 

“...Yesterday, I teamed up with Hunt to temporarily leave my club activities and observe Ursus. It appears that this matter is starting to reach a head; Wei had been invited to sit on Spelldrive Club practice that day.” 

By this point, Jade is staring at him with unabashed interest and Floyd has sat up as rigidly as a pole.

“Most curious indeed,” Jade murmurs, despite sounding like he already knew.

Azul closes his eyes, muttering something under his breath. “Quite.”

Floyd makes a face. “So this guy’s still at his whole obviously showing off to Yu. Isn’t that already worthy of a squeeze? ‘Cause his stuff is not gonna be reciprocated. Like, at all.”

Chrysos nods solemnly in silent agreement.

“Aren’t you a bit biased, Floyd?” Azul wonders. “After all, you did give Yu that scale from your earring recently…”

“That’s exactly why,” grumbles Floyd. “Yu hasn’t stopped wearing it since. Y’gotta be some kind of idiot to not notice that.”

“Floyd has a point,” Jade says, pressing a hand to his chest. “Additionally, I have witnessed Yu expressing no interest if not outright discomfort at advances from others. It is easy to assume this instance would be the same. Therefore…”

“...for everyone’s peace of mind, we should do something about it,” finishes Chrysos, earning himself a nod of approval from Jade.

Azul hums to himself, thinking. “It also just occurred to me that this Darren figure asked a favor of me recently and has yet to pay up… In that case, we should—as they say—’kill two birds with one stone.’”

“So we’re all down?” asks Floyd, tapping his lanky fingers against the back of the couch.

“Naturally.” Azul waves a hand. “Jade, Floyd, Chrysos—go ahead and do whatever you’d like with Mr. Ursus. Just make sure to keep it ‘discreet,’ as usual.”

Twin moray grins and a closed smirk flash back at him.

…

The next day, Chrysos finds them chatting together after school outside the alchemy lab. Darren is leaning against a wall with his bulky arms crossed, looking down at Yu, a scene right out of some kind of visual novel.

“...so, anyway, I was thinking. D’you wanna stop by Savanaclaw? There are some questions on today’s homework I need help with.”

Yu does a poor job of hiding his discomfort. “Oh, uh… I think it’d be better if you asked Professor Crewel for help.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Yuhua. If I could speak with you for a moment?”

Yu and Darren both look over at the sound of Chrysos’ voice. The relief in Yu’s expression and posture is palpable.

“Of course,” he says, immediately rushing forward to leave the situation before hesitating. He turns around to look back at Darren. “Um, sorry. We can talk about this later?”

Darren looks considerably miffed. “Y…Yeah, sure,” he forces out.

“Great! Thanks.”

The only time Chrysos has personally seen Yu flee any faster is in the middle of a crisis. 

They turn their backs on Darren and start walking away. Chrysos doesn’t have to look to know that Jade and Floyd have taken their cue.

“So, what did you want to talk with me about?” asks Yu.

He isn’t dropping his mask, so Chrysos eases into it. “That student,” he states simply. 

“What about him?” Another careful dodge.

Everything, Chrysos wants to say, but settles for, “He’s been bothering you, hasn’t he.”

Finally, Yu seems to open up a bit. “Well, I don’t want to say that, but…”

It’s a bit of a pointless argument when Chrysos already overheard Yu angrily ranting to Davis the other day. Especially when he knows Yu was purposely making sure he was eavesdropping.

“It’s too obvious. You should tell him you’re being courted,” Chrysos recommends. 

“I’m kind of too scared to say that to his face,” Yu mutters. His expression brightens all of a sudden, though. “Good thing he let slip pretty early on that he’s afraid of you guys. Work smarter, not harder, right?”

At that exact moment, a low, nervous growl comes from behind them. They both look over their shoulders to see the Leech twins towering over Darren. 

Jade clasps his hands together, mentioning something about debts, while Floyd laughs gleefully.

Chrysos allows himself a smile. “Indeed. I believe this could be considered a win-win situation.”

...

(BONUS:

Davis is lounging by the waterfall with a book when Darren comes trudging in. They’ve had enough small interactions to be only vaguely hostile acquaintances at this point. But, granted, Davis has also heard a lot about this guy.

“What happened?” he asks, because it’s technically an upperclassman’s duty to check on the freshmen. 

A deep, dissatisfied rumble comes from Darren’s chest. “Don’t ask,” he says through a clenched jaw, storming off to his room.

Ruggie whistles from his spot nearby. “Sounds like trouble in paradise.”

“If what I’ve heard means anything, it’s not much of a paradise,” replies Davis dryly. 

“True.” Ruggie snickers. “He’ll get over it.”

Davis raises his eyebrows and turns to look in the direction Darren left. He thinks about Yu, his choice of friends, and the weird air of excitement around the twins earlier that day. “Yeah. Not that he has much of a choice.”)

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

AB, Mogwix and Co.

This was a piece of art did by one of the other amazing players at my D&D table for The Wild Beyond the Witchlight campaign and I love it! The robot with the hat is my PC, Environmental Analysis Automaton A-B4 or AB for short. They're a Circle of the Shepherd Druid trying to find their creator who went missing at the Witchlight Carnival under mysterious circumstances.

The other member of our party include Buttercup, the minotaur college of lore bard, Pan, the half elf college of eloquence bard/fey pact warlock, Mogwix, the goblin wizard, and Goramorn, the dragonborn way of the dragon monk.

I've been playing them for a while now and thought I'd share some of what I wrote about their creation.

Also, after this campaign wraps up we'll be starting a Curse of Strahd campaign which we will be streaming on twitch! Let me know if any of you are interested in watching or at the very least would like to hear about my PC for that campaign.

Memory Banks: 00.00.00.00.001

Visual data: 

Environment: enclosed, wood interior, man made 

Danger rating: Yellow; tripping and magical hazards  

Lifeforms: 1 Humanoid, Designation: Human Male

Audio data:

Human Male:

…there was light. Ah! Yes! Third time’s the charm, or eleventh in this case. 

 Alright Environmental Analysis Automotom Prototype A-B4, let’s see if you’re the one. Oh, that really is mouthful isn’t it? We’ll have to come up with something different. Of course, if all goes well you’ll be able to do that yourself some day, eh?

Why anyone would want to scrap you is beyond me. Well you know what they say, man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

 Oh, well…I suppose I shouldn’t say that. Readings look like you’re picking up everything audio and visual. Excellent. Was a bit worried about your memory banks. Obviously for an analysis unit all you’d really be worried about are the plants and the like pertaining to your programming. Admittedly it was a spotty job. But the storage is just about perfect. Probably will need to work on expanding it. Wouldn’t want you to have to erase memories to keep new ones. 

Oh well, details to be sorted later. Made a bit of a mess myself. 

Welcome to the world A-B4. I’ve got a feeling you’re going to be spectacular. 

Analysis:

Environment: Moderately hazardous

Humanoid: Mostly harmless

Memory Banks: 00.00.00.00.102

New Program: Designation: Speech 

Audio Data: 

Julian:

Sorry AB. Seems as though I might have crossed the wrong wires. Your visual input is temporarily down, but let’s test out this new feature. 

Oh there have been so many things I’ve been wanting to ask you. Your vocabulary should be up to snuff. I took special care in your speech pattern recognition. Best way to learn is through doing, after all. Doing in this case having been listening to my rambling for the last few months. Hopefully it did us both some good. 

I think it did. It’s how children learn at any rate. 

Alright, first question: what is your name? 

Searching…

Statement: Designation: Environmental Analysis Automotom Prototype A-B4

Julian:

No, not your designation. What is your name?

Statement: Request unclear. Specify. 

Julian:

What do you want to be called? 

Statement: Request unclear. Specify. 

Julian:

Well, I do suppose it’s still a bit early for you to have proper wants now isn’t it? Still got a lot of programming to get through. We’ll save your name for later. Hopefully you won’t resent me calling you AB in the future. 

I hate to ask what your thoughts on me now are.

Statement: Answer. Analysis of Human Male, Designation: Julian. Wizard. Middle Age. Diet: Tea. Sleep pattern: Inconsistent. Communication: Heavily Verbal. Danger level: Yellow. 

Julian: 

Now that’s a shining endorsement, I must say. 

Statement: Understood. Analysis confirmed. 

Julian:

Alright, next on the list, fine tune your audio input to recognize irony. 

And I’m hardly middle aged. I don’t plan to die at seventy. Well, seventy-two if you’re getting technical, but I’m nowhere near the top of the hill let alone going down it. 

Statement: Understood. 

Julian:

Let’s just get your eyes working properly again. 

Memory Bank: 00.00.00.200

New Visual Data: Still Image: Tiefling Female. Expression: Unknown. 

Audio Data:

Julian:

Happy. See the smile? She’s happy. 

Facial Expression: Happy. 

Statement: Understood. Smile means happy. 

Julian:

Alright. Now let’s go back to this one. 

New Visual Data: Still Image: Dragonborn Male. Expression: Happy. 

Julian:

Understandable confusion. See how his brow creases. That’s anger. 

Question: Showing teeth indicates happiness and anger?

Julian:

I’d say it’s usually either or, but yes. The subtleties are in the eyes. Mouths may lie, but the eyes always tell the truth. We’ll get more into the nuances once you get the basics down. 

Question: What is lie?

Julian:

Deception. It’s when a person says one thing but means another. 

Question: Like irony? 

Julian:

Ah no…well, sort of. It comes down to intent really. It’s when somebody makes a false statement and indends for another to believe them. 

Question: Why lie? 

Julian: 

Any number of reasons. Some people lie in order to trick somebody into doing something they want. Other times people lie in order to comfort another. 

Statement: Definition unclear. 

Julian:

Fair enough. I think this is just something you’ll have to wait to figure out when you’re older. 

Statement: Understood. Question will remain unanswered. 

Memory Bank: 00.00.01.002

Julian:

I do hope you don’t find these memories too boring once you properly wake up. I mean, most days are boring, but from what I understand you’ll be able to remember everything that’s ever happened to you, this included. 

I can only imagine what you’ll think of me. Try to be charitable. I’d argue no parent in the world has put this much effort into the actual creation process. 

Oh Gods, me a father? That doesn’t sound right. I’m not old enough– Well, I am plenty old enough, but I never saw myself as the fatherly type. 

Forget I said anything. Or, no, don’t forget. That’s not an order. Just an expression.

I’m really not giving you much of a leg up if I’m your example am I?  We’re going to have to make sure you get out more.

Memory Bank: 00.00.01.095

Visual Data:

Environment: Lab

Danger Rating: Yellow, tripping and magical hazards

Lifeforms: 1 Humanoid, Designation: Elf Male

Facial Expression: Surprised, subcategory: Unknown

Audio Data:

Unknown Elf: 

What in the nine hells? 

New Visual Data:

Lifeform: 1 Humanoid, Designation: Julian

Facial Expression: Surprised, subcategory: Put-out

Julian:

What are you doing back here?

Elf Male:

I should be asking you the same thing. You’re not seriously considering this. 

New Visual Data:

New Facial Expression: Elf Male

Facial Expression: Angry, subcategory: Very

Julian:

There is a reason why I keep my work private. 

Elf Male:

It’s one thing to work with automatons, maybe dabble in trying to awaken one for a period of time, but this? Do you realize what magic you’re tampering with?

Julian:

What I’m doing is just taking the awaken spell and to its most logical conclusion. Where exactly am I going too far? 

Elf Male:

To create a sentient creature they require a soul. You think you can just create a soul out of whole cloth?

Julian:

Last I checked quite a number of creatures create new souls every day, oftentimes by accident. 

Elf Male:

You know what I mean. Those are living, breathing, biological beings touched by the divine. This is a machine. Whatever programs or even magic you put into it, all it will ever be able to do is pantomime mortal emotions. It will forever be soulless unless you give it one or somehow deluded yourself into thinking you could create one. 

Julian:

I am making no claims to my personal ability to isolate the soul. My only claim is that something doesn’t require biological parts to have one. 

AB has no baseline instincts, not even survival. They were initially programmed for cold, calculated analysis of raw environmental data. All I’m doing is attempting to give them the ability to ask why and the choice to find the answer. 

Curiosity, in its purest form. That’s where it all starts. I give them the baseline ability to recognize emotions in others and the rest writes itself. How they decide to react will ultimately be up to them as they grow to understand and empathize with the world around them. Now look me in the eye and tell me that’s not any child you’ve ever met in your life. 

Elf Male: 

All without a soul to guide them. 

Julian:

You really haven’t met many children, have you?

Elf Male:

This isn’t a joke, Julian. Gods, do you not hear yourself?

Julian:

What exactly am I doing wrong? I’m not hurting anyone. No bodies are being exhumed. No souls have been stolen. No deals have been struck. All I am doing is what every wizard has done which is explore the full extent of our reality. 

Now either you’re right and what I end up making will merely pantomime mortals. Or I’m right, and I will have proven that souls are not given to us by some divine entity. What we call a soul is created within ourselves for each other. No gods required. 

Elf Male:

I can only hope I’m right.

Julian:

And I can only feel sorry for you. 

Visual Data:

Elf Male: Out of range

Analysis:

Elf Male: Potentially harmful

New Visual Data:

Lifeform: Julian

Facial expression: Sad, subcategory: unknown

Question: Are you sad?

Julian:

Not sad, AB. Disappointed perhaps.

Statement: Understood. Expression is disappointment.

Question: What is disappointment?

Julian:

It’s when you hoped something would be different from what it actually is. 

I wish I could tell you people like him are a minority. I wish I could say that others will see you and fully accept you as the person you will become. 

Some of them will. I think most people will want to. It’s hard to say. There is a great deal of ignorance and fear in the world, and a lot of people are content to leave it that way. 

Do try to be patient with us though. We’re only mortal. 

Statement: Request unclear. Specify. 

Julian:

I guess what I mean to say is, go into the world assuming people want to be kind.

Statement: Understood.

Question: And this can cause disappointment? 

Julian:

More often than not, but you’ve got to do it anyway. 

Statement: Understood. 

Memory Bank: 00.00.00.01.269

Audio Data:

Julian: 

I really do hate to admit it AB, but perhaps Dustain was right. Arcane magic will only get us so far. You’ve progressed nicely, but something is missing. Just that last little umph. 

Don’t worry, I’m not about to ask a god for help. Bastards would just rub in our faces. 

The awaken spell is the baseline of all of this. Perhaps that’s the best place to start. The magic innate in nature is separate from the divine. You’re not so different. Metal is merely refined elements found in nature. Just because you’re man made shouldn’t exclude you. 

Hmm, perhaps I shouldn’t have wiped all that analysis programming. 

Memory Bank: 00.00.00.02.154

Julian:

Now this is silly, isn’t it. I’m not even sure if this is going to work. But, I think I’ve got a lead on something that might finally wake you up. Not sure when I’ll be coming back, if I will. Of course, if I don’t come back, you’ll hardly care, now, will you? But, you might care, someday. Depends if this works. Memories are funny like that. They change the more you remember them. That was the point of all my ramblings anyway. 

What am I trying to say here? Wish me luck? Wish us luck? 

I can’t wait to meet you.

[therebelcaptainnetwork]

Hi, I have two questions I thought y'all might be able to answer for me! First of all, how old is Cassian really? I know when Rogue One came out he was supposedly 26 but now with Andor I'm not so sure...

Second, what's the origin of the ship name Rebelcaptain? I think it's absolutely hilarious but I'd love to know from someone who was there when it was created and why! Also, I assume Rebel refers to Jyn and Captain to Cassian?

Thank you so much for taking to time to anwser my nerdy questions - it's really appreciated! And keep doing what y'all are doing - It's awesome :)



Thank you! Welcome to the fandom, and we're glad you're enjoying TRCN 🧡

Sadly, we're not able to give a definitive answer to either of these questions. The response still got very long, so the rest of it is below a cut...

1) The "RebelCaptain" ship name

The first teaser trailer for Rogue One was released in April 2016. Most fans assume that the "rebel" part came from Jyn's iconic line (which ironically didn't make it into the final cut of the movie): "This is a rebellion, isn't it? I rebel." However, Cassian isn't referred to by name or title in that trailer, so the "captain" part must have come from supplemental promotional materials. 

The earliest stories tagged "rebelcaptain" on AO3 are dated June 2016, but they're orphaned, so we don't know who wrote them. (It's also possible that they were edited sometime after posting to include that tag.) Tumblr's search feature is useless for this purpose, of course, and Google Trends isn't much help either; there's no obvious peak and a few outlier searches long before Rogue One was even in production which muddy the waters. Once the film itself was released in mid-December 2016, the term seems to have taken off immediately.

So if any fan remembers exactly where/when the ship name started or can take credit for coining it, they should step up!

2) Cassian's age

Short answer: it depends which source you choose; long answer: neither age makes perfect sense, so who the hell knows.

Although no ages are given onscreen, when Rogue One was released, Cassian was stated to be 26 and Jyn 21 in official tie-in sources like the Ultimate Visual Guide. (Even at the time, plenty of fans felt that was ridiculous given the actors' ages.) Cassian was also given a few scraps of backstory (born on Fest, Separatist family, etc); if you're curious, images of the relevant pages are at the end of the post.

Then Andor Season 1 came out, and Cassian's backstory was completely altered. Now he's considerably older, likely to avoid (then) 39-year-old Diego Luna playing someone supposed to be in his early 20s. The current Wookieepedia article has a decent rundown of the cumulative evidence for his age in the film now being 33.

This was a controversial choice among longstanding fans, because it significantly delays Cassian's commitment to the Rebellion and makes his statement in Rogue One that he's "been in this fight since [he] was six" much more ambiguous.

Here are a couple of Tumblr posts with fandom reactions:

[skyhopedango]

WHAT WHAT WHAT

So like... like...

Here I am, just minding my own business, being in a somewhat better place mentally in these past couple months (despite my world getting increasingly worse ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), considering slowly getting back to fandoms and reactivating my social media and stuff*... especially after having an AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH moment over Loulou*di's Dying Matter**

...and then I open Twitter, and the HanaDoll* account comes at me like

....WHAT

I'm so worried! I really really don't want this franchise to get one of those really cheaply made idol animes, like the TsukiPro show... but I don't think they have the funds of even UtaPri, let alone Idolish7 or something... Also this franchise has such an amazingly well thought-out visual design, it would really really suck to see it not being done justice in an anime, but I can't imagine it having the sort of money to make it happen... Oh well, we'll see.

Anyway, though, it says the anime will be adapting Season 1, which is I guess a safe way to go? It's a good introduction to the HanaDoll* world. Honestly, though, I would have preferred more manga over an anime. S2 would make a great manga, especially with Loulou*di and the sheer intensity of their... *gestures wildly* their everything. Maybe, if the anime makes any decent business, they'll restart the manga.

.

..

...

....

So anyway, I guess I'm back? :D

I thought I'd just sit down and write a post like "the world still sucks, and it sucks more and more with each moment, and I'm still feeling low-key anxious, but I guess I'm doing better, enough to have been able to sob my heart out over Think Of Me: Mono anyway,*** so let's just slowly ease back... also maybe write something about Mono because yeah that should totally be written about..."

Instead it's

"OH MY GOD HanaDoll* is getting an anime WHAT"

I guess that's how my life rolls! :D;;

orz

*If anyone happened to have read this far - I apologize to anyone who have written to me or messaged me! I turned off app notifications on all my social media, but left email notifications on Tumblr, and got none, so I was like okay, so it's peace and quiet... except as I found out a week ago, my email client at one point decided to deliver all my Tumblr notification emails right into my junk folder. 😩And since that folder is set to be emptied in every five days... yeah, I basically missed everything. So I'm very sorry if you wrote to me and I didn't reply!

**I haven't had the opportunity to listen to the Think Of Me: Ark drama yet, but of course I did listen to the songs, and look,

1. I don't need to have listened to the drama to assume that Dying Matter is a Rui song, and

2. I guess this is basically canon confirmation that Rui is in love with Ageha? not that it hadn't been obvious so far but here they just flat out say it, not even in English or whatever like in Butterfly Knife, just flat out 愛してる、愛してる、愛してる/"I love you, I love you, I love you";

3. anyway that aside, tell me this is not going where the song implies it's going dear god Ageha, Rui, no, never mind poor Toki, also

4. 葬列の果てまで/"till end of your funeral procession" is just an absolutely amazing line, just... chef's kiss. This is Loulou*di, guys, they're not satisfied with the cheap dramatics of "until the end" or "beyond the grave" or whatever, no, it's "till the end of your funeral procession" because why be OK with a mere ten if you can turn it up to eleven. (Also, the visuals and implications it evokes are amazing. Hama Takeshi keeps doing it with this band, damn that man.)

***Dear god, Toki and Kaoru, My poor, poor Toki and Kaoru. Just... damn. That whole scene of them together. Oh god. Poor Toki. Poor Kaoru. Someone please help these boys.

[bleachbleachbleach]

For the fanfic ask game! (14) If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? (and also which medium) (17) What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic? (30) Ask anything! Who is your current favorite character to write?

Fic Writing Meme

(14) If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? (and also which medium)

I have strongly considered making a graphics package for REVERSE THE BONE that’s just like, all the material culture ephemera Hinamori collected over the course of the Train Job—Kira’s map, packaging and flyers from Iwatobi, a tourism map of East Rukongai complete with stamp rally, the Takenoyu business card… I love that kind of in-universe graphic design, and I’d already made the train tickets. Buuuut if I made more graphics, it would take that time away from writing.

Other than that, I always think of D O N K I in visual terms, because Hitsugaya spends so much of that fic being overstimulated by Worm TVs and weird cups and fast trains and, of course, Don Quijote itself. It’s a fairly melancholy fic, but the visuals that attend it all are so absurd I feel like it would be cool to see in a visual medium that could really play with that contrast. Maybe one of those books where you can pull new elements into the scene via pull tab, or open little doors, or initiate fancy pop-ups! THERE’S A DONKI AT THE END OF THIS BOOK:

(Kyoto May 2023) "That's just the aesthetic of any dollar store" YEAH but you can buy perishable prepared foods inside this one somewhere! (By the socks.)

(17) What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

I wrote a post-TYBW fic that involved spending a lot of time burying bodies in mass graves, because the only divisions that got mentioned as cremating their dead were the 11th and the 4th. The body burying happened for the ~vibes and because it didn’t occur to me to think about it, and it wasn’t until after writing it that I had the thought that like, oh hm, why wouldn’t everyone be cremated? Because in my mind Japan is a country of cremation. So I assumed for years that the whole fic was based on a flawed premise, and oh well, it’s Soul Society so it does whatever I want it to, I’ll live with that.

But then when writing the Train Fic, I looked up how bodies might be transported, and what kinds of receptacles were used. And I was like, well, it’s really not going to be the same visual if it’s just a bunch of boxes of ashes, lol. But in my reading, I learned that the dominance of cremation in Japan is super recent! Like mid-20th century recent! And my perception otherwise is a very Buddhist bias! After that, I ended up starting research in the Yayoi period and working my way forward, because I figured I’d get the full historical picture and then decide how I wanted to imagine Soul Society’s version of that swathe of history, since I figured 1) lifespan difference might result in some pre-Edo holdovers when it comes to the basics, and 2) Soul Society wasn’t going to have the same socio-historical pressures driving change, so in those instances where they were choosing to model things they did after the Living World, they probably also just cherry-picked whatever they vibed with lol.

Anyhow, this was a cool, short, pretty cute video about ancient burial practices and burial jars!

(30) Ask anything! Who is your current favorite character to write?

HAHA realistically, whoever’s feeling collaborative and is willing to be nice to me. 🥺 But in the extremely *likely* scenario where someone puts a gun to my head and says "you have to write a Bleach fic right now, while we watch, or we shoot you!" I’d probably choose to do it with Matsumoto.

Because she’s patronized one Junrinan confectionary at least one time, and was excited about Orihime’s cooking, and loves shopping and celebrations of all kinds, and learned traditional dance despite obviously not growing up in The Scene, my mind has kind of spun Matsumoto into someone who sees a lot of value in experiencing and learning about different cultures (which in her context primarily means Rukongai districts), and it’s fun to write her interfacing with all these things. She doesn’t seem to have strong ties to the district she came from, necessarily, but I feel like she has strong values around recognizing Rukongai at large as a real place with infinite cultural particularities—particularities she wants to honor and know about—not just a blank slate waypoint.

Closer to canon, she has so many interesting relationships with people all across the board, you can kind of bring her into any situation and she’ll probably have some kind of generative connection to it. I also love that even though she’s open to conversations that might be really difficult OR down to clown, she also has a private core that she doesn’t share, and it can be really fun to play with that dialogism when narrating from her POV. She’s just a really good time all around!

[pandafishao3]

For the fic writers questions! 2,9,11,12 for Orphan Darling? Or honestly if you were hoping to get certain questions for certain fics feel free to use this space to answer those as well ☺️

Thank you so much for the questions! :D

#2 What scene did you first put down? This one is a bit of a boring answer perhaps - I actually first wrote the very first scene with Steve going to the orphanage and seeing Bucky. I just got this visual in my head of Steve walking through the creaky hallway and seeing a young, pretty omega sitting there in basically rags, and suddenly getting this massive urge to take him home. And then I took it from there!

#9 Were there any alternate versions of this fic? Funny you should ask! There was an alternate version actually, and I wrote and published it. "Omega Interrupted" is a lot like "Orphan Darling in the sense that Steve is suddenly responsible for a bratty teenage omega Bucky who needs to lots of discipline and guidance, but the former have a more medical touch that I reeeeally wanted to explore. Then there was also an idea that I would write "Orphan Darling" with a much darker theme. That never really came to light.

#11 What do you like best about this fic? I like the way I managed to get their communication down. It's not necessary for a fic that involves a power imbalanced relationship to include "perfect" communication of course, but I'm happy with the way I wrote it. And then I love that I was able to include Brock and Jack with some side Bucky/Brock...I am a sucker for that pairing.

#12 What do you like least about this fic? I didn't enjoy writing Carol Danvers. I simply don't like writing her as a character. And while I am a huge fan of writing pregnancy, I'm not completely happy leaving Steve and Bucky with two kids when Bucky is so young. I'm just not overwhelmed by the ending.

I think I'd also like to take you up on your offer and answer #7 Where did the title come from? Because I have gotten a few questions about it and I think a fun fact is that the title came first of all. I'm a competitive poet (as in Poetry Slam), so I often come up with these lines or title that I think sound cool and I try to work around. And one day after I'd watched a movie where they said the word "orphan" a lot, I just fell in love with it and thought of "Orphan Darling" to make the word sound softer. From there, I conjured up that very first scene in my head.

Hope I answered them properly, really fun that you asked! xx

[agentnico]

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023) Review

A month ago at the point of Quantumania’s release I was discussing superhero fatigue, especially with the MCU. However now it seems it may in fact be fatigue of cinema as a whole! 2023...what have you done.

Plot: A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers embark on an epic quest to retrieve a long lost relic, but their charming adventure goes dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.

Straight off the bat I’ll say that I am not really an avid diehard D&D fan. I have played a few games during university with one of my more nerdier mates back then. Yeah, you know the one. Everyone has that one geek king in their uni years who’s an expert in all things pop culture, comics, movies and D&D. So yeah, that cool dude! However outside of those few D&D sessions where I’d cameo as my dwarf character that I aptly named Gimli the Second, my knowledge of this trademark tabletop game begins and ends there. So of course I won’t get all the references and Easter eggs that are sure to please fans in this movie. That being said, as more of a casual viewer I must say...I didn’t really like this movie.

I know, I know, many of you liked this one. I’ve seen the positive critical reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and the excited audience response on IMDb. Yet I am not one of these lucky chums. Look, I’ve been getting really frustrated with the sheer mediocrity that Hollywood has been churning out recently. This year alone we had Adam Driver take on dinosaurs and somehow make it boring; M Night Shyamalan tackled the end of the world and there was no signature big twist; Nicolas Cage starred in his first ever western and surprisingly did not Cage-rage once; the new MCU big bad Kang ended up not being that intimidating...look, it’s been a crappy year for films so far. The fact that I’m considering Cocaine Bear at the top spot is heavily concerning. Now we have the new Dungeons & Dragons movie that I personally found to reinstate that fact of banality. 

The plot of the film is filled with predictable clichés all ripped from the likes of Lord of the Rings, Guardians of the Galaxy and The Princess Bride, only all those did it better. I found myself daydreaming multiple times throughout the movie and being flat out bored by a lot of what was going on. It was a weak narrative with very cringeworthy dialogue. Heck, even the comedy wasn’t really good. Hugh Grant does his usual over the top shtick, yet even though that worked superbly for him in Guy Ritchie’s The Gentlemen, in here it came off pompous and annoying. Chris Pine, as charming as he may be, is miscast as the lead bard, as the main character is supposed to be more of a know-it-all doofus, as such I feel someone like Jason Bateman would have fit the part more. In fact, this movie is directed and produced by John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, whom both worked with Bateman previously on Game Night and Horrible Bosses, so I feel like they may have even had him in mind when they first wrote the script. Michelle Rodriguez is bland as ever, Sophia Lillis is forgettable, Rege-Jean Page was only cast for his looks and Daisy Head isn’t menacing enough as the villain. Justice Smith is the only one really who actually got some laughs out of the audience in my cinema, and also the only one to really have a proper character arc in the whole movie.

The visuals in all fairness were solid. The creature designs were realised really well, and the use of some practical effects is always a welcome. But overall this D&D adventure came off as a lazy fantasy rehash, and one that offered minimum thrill. Again, this may appeal more to hardcore fans of the original game, but overall the cure of 2023 movie mediocrity continues. Here’s hoping Chris Pratt voicing Mario isn’t as bad as it sounds...

Overall score: 4/10

[hey-sherry]

Sherlock Holmes The Awakened Demo Thinky Thoughts

A bit late, but I wanted to share my first reaction to the Awakened demo! This is essentially an expanded version of what I wrote on the FW discord, with screenshots edited to look nicer for tumblr. I will do a separate post on the extra stuff that is normally inaccessible without Ansel. [Extra stuff post here]

So: spoilers ahead + keep in mind that the game is darker and moodier, I edited some of the screenshots so that they are clearer on tumblr/mobile view.

Sweet sweet concept art, gorgeous intro music, yay! The main theme is atmospheric and dark, giving me very slight vibes of the Sarif HQ track from DX:HR... I mean this in a good way, not in a “they copied it” way. It’s that sort of nostalgic ambience, but deeper and darker. One day I’ll stop drawing parallels to Deus Ex, but today is not that day.

The intro cinematic is pre-rendered and really good; I liked Sherlock's narration and the implication it's all in Watson's/players' hands now... He sounds more authoritative and distant than in CO.

I really liked the visual with the fly caught in the cobweb.

I did not expect this! It's a really fun title sequence and wow, we’re being thrown straight into chapter 3. I too thought it would be London but this is great 😄

WATSON!!! At this point I’m thinking, “Oooh we're gonna play as Watson, they probably don’t want to show Sherlock just yet, I know someone who's gonna be very happy about this o,o” (ahem hem, @lucere-aeresta​) I like long dialogues/cinematics so this intro was a treat. I'll have to replay of course but it felt very satisfying to see a chunk of the story here and be introduced to the new characters. There’s a lot going on!

The receptionist

Dr. Gygax!

You can walk around a little and talk to a couple of NPCs. There’s this easter egg - it’s a Lovecraft easter egg (thanks for figuring that one out, Lucere!) The paper itself is straight from Cordona. :D

You cannot pick this letter up, but the message is very clear. May be a clue in the final game.

Who’s there...? BTW this is the exact face Sherlock gives Jon when he plays the guitar too loudly in the CO seance scene :D

OH NO. LMAO! This had me in stitches, and of course I lied. Nice American accent, you dork. The subsequent journal entry essentially saying "Watson tried to act, I guess" gave me a chuckle. I tried!  So hard! And in the en-- moving on...

Here’s how the journal looks like now. The clues have updated icons and you can toggle to sort them by type (document, conversation, item, etc.) or the order in which you found them.

So yeah, Sherlock shows up in disguise and a terrible American accent, says the iconic “Guten day,” and then he gets sedated because Watson cannot lie to save his life.

Of course. OF COURSE. Now I know someone who's going to be a bit disappointed we don’t spend much time as Watson, but that's not me. 😂 My first thought -> they heard us cry and wail about the stubble and said "We're gonna make you beg to have the stubble back" Ok, ok, you win. I'm sorry. 😭

(insert half an hour of zooming around with Ansel instead of playing the damn game) This is how the game levels look when you go out of bounds!

Found some of you in the back! And in the cells! :3 (There’s a wall with photographs of the Kickstarter backers, and a row of cells with names and custom faces - although you cannot see the characters very well at this point.)

Right, I should play. The lockpicking puzzles were fun, but I'll admit I found both of them extremely easy. But I am a seasoned adventure game fan and it's a nice little thing to do for that feeling of escaping the cells. The “Mycroft” (custom) difficulty setting does let you change the puzzle difficulty, so we are probably going to face a bigger challenge in the finished game. The settings don’t make a difference in the demo, though.

SHERLOCK. NO. PUT IT DOWN.

PUT THOSE DOWN OH MY GOD

So yeah, I think it’s safe to say he’s a full blown addict by now. Vogel, what have you done?

Ran into the guard three times, got a game over 😎 Confirmation that yeah Sherlock is still afraid of water! I bet he's gonna love the trip to America and boating around the swamps. What could go wrong.

FYI, there's a guard that you need to figure out how to get past. It's not a sneaking sequence, but you need some items. If he notices you 3 times he rings the alarm, and the game reloads

At this point I'm having fun just investigating stuff and admiring the new journal etc., it's all very nicely designed. It's awesome that we can sort evidence by type now! The mind palace facelift is so good and feels more involved than before.

Back to the game... I SQUEALED!!! 😄 duhhh

And again! Two back to back CO references, yay ♥

Well I am a smart detective and deal with the guard with my brain and not my fists. Time to yoink all of his clothes. Where did his body go? We don't ask such questions around here...

HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLL YEAAAAAAAH

ANSEL PHYSICS RESET MY BELOVED ♥♥ never fix this please never ever

(cue another photoshoot) 

The biggest tease in all of the demo: THAT EXCLAMATION MARK. Let... me... see... outfits! 😂 Lovingggg the updated outfit screen, so happy there's some gorgeous lighting in there. It looked kinda bad in CO.

Okay, back to playing the game! I LIED, more photoshoots as the inmates scream, cry, and wail all around me. Sucks to be them, I guess.

Okay, Gerda! I LOVE her new design, and her voice actress too! She was so great.

Gerda is the second inmate that we meet. She wants her friend Heidi back and until then she will not talk. The first inmate that we meet is Mauricio Napoleon, it is just a short but entertaining conversation/cinematic. We don’t talk to him any more in the demo.

He does that lil smile as she spits the worst threats at him, it's glorious

Something something Silent Hill 3 (Gorgeous!)

I try to play the mountain goat in every game and the absence of the jump button will not stop me

So I didn't take screenshots of the quite meaty gameplay surrounding getting Heidi back and figuring out what's going on, so here's some thoughts: - The updated crime scene investigation looks fantastic! The smokey green aesthetics are fitting and everything is much clearer than it was in CO. I like that we can see how many variations there are for each 'node'. The only thing I'm not sure about is the first person perspective - Sherlock's close focus mode - because I had trouble seeing what's different in the variations, and sometimes the models would push me back a little bit when they loaded. I'd move away from the node just by trying to see things and had trouble re-positioning... not a great deal of trouble, of course, but it is a downgrade from SHCO. I think the 3rd person mode like with Jon in CO works much better. This is my biggest criticism of the demo. - There was a tad too much running back and forth just to seemingly fetch a few items... this may be polished further, I don't know. It gave me old adventure game vibes where you kinda run back and forth for a few small things lol. - I wished we could use the items more directly and/or assemble things, not just have them as text in the inventory... but I understand that making a new puzzle feature may be too much work at this point - The "three clues" dialogue confused me for a moment, but so it did in CO as well so this may be a ‘me’ problem 😂 I keep forgetting that there are 3 different questions to answer, not that I need to present 3 accurate clues... hahah. - The darker overtones are soooo up my alley! When I figured out what had happened to one of the people in the casket... ooof anyway, time to find and assemble Heidi!

Him <3

Awww, isn't it cute?

BUT IT'S WRONG

Oh so wrong 😂 I did NOTTTT expect this ahahahahhhh Hands down the best part of the demo The mental health aspect of the remake was what had me a little worried, but you know what, I think it's gonna be fine 😂 Heidi is one bad bench, and Sherlock just ACCEPTING he's now talking to a demonic doll and making the most of it is just chef's kiss Love, love, love. We're all mad here.

I unlocked a reward, and what a sweet one it is! Sadly, you cannot change your clothes in the demo. The updated physics make his chain and bag go bouncing like crazy, haha.

And thank

you

for reading! Feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions.

[simpjaes]

i just finished player rank: platinum. like literally two seconds ago and omg…god your mind 😫😫😫

first of all, i know it sounds contradictory cause it took me forever to finish reading, but god it was so entertaining from the first word. your writing is so good i felt like i could visualize everything (especially the smut)!!!!

speaking of the smut, that was so nasty…ik he’s an asshole loser but i’d also like my turn with heeseung. like slut me out like that in front of your friends too please!!!! it’s 11:30 am as im typing this, and i should really NOT be feeling this way so early in my saturday 😭😭😭

ngl if i were yn id fuck the whole friend group no hesitation, especially jay. but that’s the jay whore in me speaking oopsies.

plotwise, the whole story went 0-100 from the pillow scene in onwards imo. i was SEATED. felt like a whole will they won’t they type of situation even tho we knew they would. fuck heeseung fr tho (both literally and not) 🙄🙄

also the way you made me wanna punch and fuck heeseung at the same time…god i know i already praised you for how you write characters but goddamn u did it again!!! he’s such an ass omg but the way he fucks…🤭

and yn with her whole wanting to be better than her sister. why did that actually kinda hurt my heart even though i do not have a sister LMAO.

also i loved your little jokes…like the joke about sunghoon finding the perfect video on page 86 of his search. i actually laughed, perfect placement of the joke tbh.

last…yn’s sister using a condom AND plan B?!?! she mad paranoid and also her period cycle probably mad fucked up. also plan B is at least like $35 (off brand) and like $50 if u get the usual brand. no wonder she working so much, has to pay for all that fucking plan B. 😳

anyways gonna go scroll though all the asks related to this fic 🫶🏽🫶🏽 and then maybe…get started on frenzy (i’ve never read a fic like frenzy so im scared 😳)

- 💗

alright lemme dip into this and answer you properly <3

it's not contradictory!!! it takes people different amounts of time to read so that doesn't bother me at all! i promise im not forcing you to read everything RIGHT NOW!!! though, of course, i love your feedback and would love if you did make it through my fics :D

as for heeseung, i def wrote him to be an asshole but like...one that you could fuck anyway. some of us just wanna have fun with a red flag, and it's fictional so i see no issue with it :D as for fucking the friend group, since the fic was a gift for my favorite oomfie i didn't want to self indulge too much. it was heeseung centered both in mind and spirit, however i will definitely delve into fucking all of hyung line in a fic someday c:

yeeeeeeeeah the pillow scene was the instance in my head where heeseung was 100% certain he had her in the palm of his hand, so parading around like a sex magnet would come naturally for him rather than needing to put effort in. it was fucking play time for him, so yes, 0-100 is a perfect way to describe that point in the fic. he really switched it up from being blatantly interested to what the fuck does he want with me?????

i also do tend to add some jokes and comedic relief in my fics solely because it's who i am as a person. a lot of my humor is very dry and read as a narrator voice but i feel like it comes across well :D at least in MY head it does.

as for the birth control AND plan B. we all know it's unhealthy and not viable at all. it's actually quite cringe that she'd be so paranoid and do such a thing. it's also very much not realistic, so i don't quite enjoy when people come at it like "i just know her body is blahblahblah"

like.....yeah, but the point of that was to show how like.....there's a question there regarding how she feels about her relationship. reader's sister very clearly works hard and barely has time for a relationship, hence why she does just about everything to keep heeseung, but like......hee wants a kid and a family........and she adds EXTRA protection simply bc she probably suspects heeseung to poke holes or some shit.

it's not meant to be seen as "she's so uptight!!!" it's more like "now why would she feel the need to do that?!"

its bc heeseung is a manipulator through and through :D so im a lil sad that the instance flew over people's heads, but, it is what it is and it's just a small moment in the fic so i aint that annoyed.

[0skyheaven0]

Hello!

I’ve been reading your fics for just about two years now, and I’ve always adored your style. Like your word choice, structure, plot lines etc..

Anyway, I want to start getting better at writing, and I was wondering if you have any tips? If not tips, what helped you develop your own skills?? That’s all, thank you :D

Oh wow thank you so much! I can't believe you've stuck with me for so long, I'm so honoured :D That is a tough question, or rather, one that I haven't thought about.

The first thing I can say is, know your characters. There's a reason that I only write about Naruto and Sasuke, because I feel that I know those characters really well. And they're interesting. You'd rather read about mundane things with interesting characters than a wicked adventure with boring ones. Once you know your character, they guide you through the story. You introduce them to a situation and they react. Of course I've taken liberty with how my NS characters act, but at their foundation they're still themselves.

I like to visualise the scene infront of me, that adds to the 'let the characters guide you'. I let it play like a movie in my head and then I just write what I see. When it's difficult, I speak the dialog out loud. Does it flow? Does it make sense? Does it sound natural? If it doesn't, just think of what that character would really say and if it goes against your initial plot idea, let it. I've had so many stories change because the character just did their thing and I went along with it.

If you get stuck, delete the last scentence, the last paragraph, the last line said. I think this was the best writing advice I ever heard. Find a new way, a new wording, another way to get somewhere. It eases up everything.

Hook the reader in. Throw them right into a scene and be stingy with explaining the scene first. I know there's a rule out there about not starting a chapter in the middle in a dialouge. I disagree! If they are in someone's bedroom playing games, don't start by explaining that. Describe the sounds, the smells, the game itself and build the scene around it. The reader is smart and with enough hints, we usually catch up to what is happening and why. We all hate the long descriptions and explenations, so don't use them, or at least, sparringly.

Read! Go out and read books and fanfiction. Find inspiration and learn how others build their scentenses and stories. It's a classic watch and learn. Sorry it's simple, but it really works.

Sencentense structure! If it's hard to read out loud, it's hard to read. Short sentences create tension. Here you can also play with the page. I have lefts spaces to create more drama over a word or a scentense just to emphesise it. Not as much allowed in everyday books, but this is fanfiction, we do what we want!

Play with words. Use metaphores, use comparisons, anything to make it all more fun. I once wrote 'So what if that meant playing with fire? If it meant being able to hear Sasuke sing again, he wouldn’t mind getting his fingers burnt.' We all know the expression and I used it within the scentence to get Naruto's thoughts across not only visually, but with an expression where we know the meaning behind it. Also I ended the chapter with it, setting up the next one where we now know his plan ahead. Words are delightful so try them out as much as you can.

Lay little hints and callbacks through the story. This one is hard because you have to remember the things you planted (which I forget all the time!) But it's an effective way to make your story more coherent and it tugs at the heart when we hear something being brought back. We like callbacks, we like when things close nicely together. Even if it's something small it does have an effect.

Now, plot. The plot itself doesn't have to be complicated. My most popular fic is one where I just thougt 'what if Naruto and Sasuke did Romeo and Juliet together?' and that's it. EVERYTHING else was just things that came on the spot and again, I let the characters lead. Now of course, more complicated stories have more complicated plots and planning, but don't be afraid to start writing from a 'what if' scenario. Or I just come up with a scene and then write a whole story just to get to that point, 'If I don't have you' is written that way. There I came up with the ending and wrote my way to it. A plot never comes to me when I'm trying, it pops up during work, a jog, shopping or watching a movie. Someone once said, to be a great animator, you have to do other things than just animate. I think this goes for writing as well. You want to write a story? Go live! Inspiration comes when your brain is enjoying itself, or in it's dark despair. Either way, it doesn't come when you're staring at a blank document.

If you don't like writing it, we don't like reading it. Is it corny, silly, maybe a little stupid? Well, did you enjoy writing it? Then that passion and fun is gonna shine through and I will have an enjoying read. I had a hard time with this one, feeling embarassed writing classic high school love stuff, cliche and stupid. But I had fun, and so did many who read it. Don't underestimate your enjoyment as a writer.

I hope that gave some sort of insight as to what I've picked up writing. I know it's a lot of cliche things, but it's what I have. Hope something was useful.

[codegengar]

just two hours prior, i was agonizing the rest of the night. i now feel very accomplished. it goes to show how just pushing through things despite your mental state can lead to an overall win for both your productivity and mood. it's not always easy, though, given bpd.

for context, i was offered my ideal job for co-op at my university. which, don't get me wrong, made me really happy upon seeing the message yesterday as i got ready to go see the screening of five night's at freddy's on halloween. however, i had gotten an email from another really good opportunity for an interview, which pays higher than my first choice, and is a similar kind of work. the difference is that mine caters to both students and staff, while the other one is only educational tech support to staff, with a lot of creative side projects to work on, as opposed to projects such as coding and data visualization. i want to learn more techy things, as well as my previous work at the bookstore being a point in contact with the first technology centre. but a part of me felt some grief because i wanted to be a graphic designer and content creator when i was younger, and i felt almost like i was throwing away that dream that little me had, and someone still holds onto every time i pick up a pen.

i sent in the email to respectfully decline the interview this morning. as well as cancel the interview to a big technology and accounting firm who also requested an interview with me. that felt really overwhelming, but i knew i had to as i had two assignments due tonight. all of these responsibilities would have incapacitated me mentally.

but all of that weighed on me heavily, and intensely. although i had woken up at around eleven or noon with d, i did not get out of bed until past five in the afternoon. i debated on what to eat, and almost gave up on the idea. there was a tiny platter of cheese leftover from when t and e came over and d and i had prepared a makeshift charcuterie board, minus the meat and garlic bread bits. just cheese. usually i do not like just eating blocks of cheese, a relic from my childhood where my mother gave me blocks of marbled cheese to eat in an attempt to increase my dairy intake. but goat cheese with herbs... sublime!

although these people could care less about me, it feels like i'm letting them down. if people become aware of my existence (which i do not make a habit of allowing), i need for them to have a good opinion of me. not that i wrote a disrespectful email to them, but... there is just some feeling of wrongness.

while i let these thoughts pass, i felt the wave of dissociation blanketing over my thoughts and encompassing my body in a warm cocoon of emptiness, as if it were comforting me. it is almost motherly in this sense, as it came to extinguish the anguish that i failed to pinpoint. why did any of this matter? i acted appropriately. which is always my fear, that i am not. i would wish my therapist would psychoanalyze me about this. i think she has, about my social anxiety. i can't remember what she said. that's just as well, with my security blanket always washing away memories like powder through a sieve...

as i did some routine tasks such as spending some resin on genshin impact, i thought about the two assignments i had for my undesirable course of the semester. you would think that a class on k-pop would be fun, but this class is anything but. i might elaborate in another post at the end of the year if i decide to do a semester review. i had a written assignment which i had, for some reason, thought was five hundred words (it was three hundred, i got mixed up with the recent paper proposals for my two courses which were to that length). then a pop-quiz on last lecture's content, which i had recorded as i do not pay attention. while i agonize about how unattainable it felt, as i have done none of the readings for that week and did not pay attention during the lecture, i decided to go outside and walk to my residence's main building to pick up my package. a halloween gengar sweater that came a day too late. but nonetheless, it will be worn and treasured. the fresh air did help, and i eventually decided to make my favourite meal, fire noodles, despite its unhealthiness. if i were to put in the effort to use any other items in my pantry and fridge, it would have been more beneficial for my passive weight loss goals, but the thought of cooking something from scratch was too overwhelming.

it was really good. i did not overcook anything this time, and all of the components were perfect. i had regular fire noodles this time, with two eggs, perfectly jellied, shabu shabu pork belly, carbonara fire dumplings, and my usual garnish of baby cucumbers, scallions, and cheese. sesame oil, sesame seeds, and the seaweed garnish packet for the final touches. sublime!

i watched some more masterchef canada season three while i was eating. there is just something more enjoyable when watching cooking shows (not kitchen nightmares, though) while eating.

revitalized, i decided to open up canvas and look at a potential reading i could skim and reference in my paper. it was long (as all of the papers the lecturer assigns for this class, which i think is unnecessary as she assigns three to four readings of twenty plus page length every week. very unattainable considering this class is considered an elective to most). i ended up taking a look at the actual assignment instructions, and the questions she wanted us to answer, i could actually do without any academic references. and so i did. and to put in one source to meet the minimum criteria for this assignment, i was pleased to find that the last paper listed of the week seven list aligned with what i wrote, and i inputted the in-text citation for it behind one of my sentences. again, i realized at this point that i needed to cut down my words tremendously as i had around five hundred fifty, which i thought would be okay as that was the cut off for the paper proposal, but i had forgotten that reading responses for this class was a maximum of three hundred fifty. so i did a lot of cutting down. but it was done fairly quickly, as it is easier to cut down rather than add more words.

now it was onto the pop-quiz.

unfortunately, my multitasking had rendered some of the recording visually incapacitated (i.e. i was trying to fix my discord third party custom skin, and had left winrar open for about five minutes over zoom). i kept skimming through the video for definitions to answer the five questions, and i had found a few after letting it play in certain parts. i was stuck on the last one, but eventually through some buffering through, i found the exact part where it was mentioned. it was quoted word for word, the quiz with the lecture.

excellent.

that's one of the things i dislike about this class. i do not know if it is part of the korean education system, but we had a guest lecturer for today and she did the same thing as my current lecturer does – read out a script basically (which was probably how the teaching assistant wrote the quiz word for word from what she had said). it is very formal and their voices are very monotone, which is hard to stay engaged with. anti-fun. if i tried really hard to, i could pay attention and take notes, but at this point, we do not have any examinations where i have to listen to the lectures attentively. i could rely on the readings and research for the final paper assignment. because what she "says" (re: recites) in lectures are just ideas from all the papers she assigns, anyway.

in total, these two assignments only took me two hours, unlike the five hours i anticipated from seven to midnight. i noticed in my email (which i have been avoiding by changing my phone's focus to my i'm going ghost mode – aka, no messages or notifications can be seen through the lock screen or as a banner) that my lap tray from costco is ready to be received through the main residence's mailboxes.

i happily put on my hoodie and made my way down from my building, vaguely concerned for the weather as the two girls in the elevator on my way down were wearing raincoats and donning a large, black umbrella. well. it was too late now. i trudged through the rain in my pikachu adidas slides and made my way to mailbox b-10, and got my box which i used as a rain cover on my way back to my dorm. i hope that everyone that i had passed by doesn't think i'm weird.

a concern i constantly have. it is very tiring.

i unpackaged it and revelled in its utility. i cannot wait to use my ipad and eat on the floor with it. i really do not like the desk and chair that the dorm came with, and it's hard to concentrate. i think the association with gaming and my personal computer also does not help.

i shared my sense of accomplishment and triumph over today's challenges in my prof's server afterward, to which he suggested i journal about this. and i haven't written on here in a while. so here i am. this is a reminder that i can accomplish tasks that feel overwhelming. and be eloquent, somewhat, than what i feel as of right now and my current unemployment. more on that later, perhaps.

in the meantime, i got to go do my genshin dailies.

[kukuandkookie]

I’m very boring and will always recommend donghua films, but there really are some underrated gems in there…!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15X1BHRvBJMH6UHaqKzgipLGiF_ycMGaPQinszRRvEHA/edit

(Obligatory linking of this document as well, but for good reason! I have a section for movies near the end.)

Specific Films:

Dahufa (arguably (one of) my favourite(s), even more so because it’s such quality for being so underrated!! I actually chose this as the film to be screened the week I had to “teach” for a class I was taking as part of an assignment. It was on occult cinema and my week was on ahumanism; the assignment had us discuss the readings the professor assigned along with one other relevant reading we found on our own, and this film fit so well. It’s also just so…absurd, but it does give you a lot to think about—and feel over. It’s like Studio Ghibli if you gave it a gun(-slinging American action movie hero as a mentor) LAJFKSHDHS.)

I Am What I Am (it may have seen some controversy for its character designs, but there’s a general consensus this film was heartfelt. It was even well-received in Japan and a sequel is already in the works!)

The Storm (same director as for Dahufa, and now in multiple English-speaking nations! I actually just watched it for myself earlier in the day too and while it may be overly ambitious—specifically in its lore—it is a gorgeous film with a heartfelt tone to it that I already appreciate. It does lack the edge that Dahufa and I believe the director’s second work, Mr. Miao, both have, but I think its slightly sharp softness will resonate with many, and it’s a visual feast on the big screen 👍)

30,000 Miles from Chang’an (I wrote an academic conference paper on this for my class that I actually read out loud at a mock conference before my classmates and numerous professors, which I may submit to future real conferences… I think all that points to how much I valued this film—even if if it did run a little long ahaha)

New Gods: Yang Jian (still underrated enough I feel compelled to add it, especially since I did enjoy it okay although I know it got mixed reviews)

Jiang Ziya (another one that’s technically not that underrated but I just really like it a lot!! I think anyone who enjoys unlikely found families that create even more unlikely father-daughter bonds, a biiiiit reminiscent of the one in Nimona, would appreciate this one!)

The Xi Yang Yang basketball movie, Dunk for Future (yes, really!! It’s a cute movie and I like modern Xi Yang Yang a lot HMGSJFJKSHS)

And of course I can’t ignore recommending the others, like New Gods: Nezha Reborn, Nezha 2019, Big Fish and Begonia, The Legend of Hei (I’ve written a paper for class on this one too, which also asked us to edit a MV of our chosen film), White Snake, etc…but those are all much more well-known now in comparison.

I think animation’s a great area to check out for films in general; beyond the big studio stuff, there’s always bound to be some underrated gems or experimental works out there. I listed the Chinese ones because those are what I’m most familiar with and excited by, but other good ones include the famous Wolfwalkers, Nimona, Lackadaisy, Persepolis, Flee, Mitchell vs the Machines, and even things like the recent film Migration or Storks have seen praise (the latter for one of its final sequences). And there’s a few other slightly unknown films out there, like Felidae (think Warriors cats except on steroids). Many cartoon reviewers can point to some really good ones here, such as having more info on films like The Thief and the Cobbler…

Or maybe you want to torture yourself a bit, if not by watching bad animated films, by watching reviews of bad animated films (I promise anything on Dingo Pictures’ work will be hilarious). 😂

I could also name all the most popular and well-praised animated studios and films—as in, anything by Ghibli or Disney/Pixar and even DreamWorks—but I don’t think that’s super necessary ahaha.

Although when it comes to animation, there may be a lot more interesting stuff to find in TV shows or indie shorts…

But that’s kind of off-topic.

If you’re interested in some of what I’ve seen throughout my film/cinema/media studies academic life, I’d also recommend Dragonfly Eyes and Strange Days (this one requires a TW for violence and sexual assault though—I haven’t watched it since my first year of undergrad, but it’s always stuck with me… I think part of it is due to a visceral assault scene, but it was a good movie nonetheless). If you have an interest in classical animation, I recommend China and Japan’s first animated films as well, known as Princess Iron Fan and Momotaro: Umi no Shinpei respectively.

Genre-wise scifi/cyberpunk/dystopian (such as Blade Runner, The Thing, Her, Invasion of the Bodysnatchers), film noir (The Maltese Falcon, Detour, Double Indemnity), and neo-noir (Chinatown, Fallen Angels, Wild Goose Lake) have some iconic ones.

Classics include The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (I just had a student tell me this is now their favourite film), Rashomon, Citizen Kane, Cléo from 5 to 7, most anything by Wong-Kar Wai, Texas Chainsaw Massacre maybe if you like slashers, the [first] two films about Dr. Mabuse (although one is 3 hours long), Metropolis, Dog Day Afternoon (as long as you keep in mind the criminal in the film is not as cool as Tumblr tells you he was, nor is he as cool as Al Pacino plays him as), Rope (one of Hitchcock’s less known works; his stuff is a staple of film studies too and you may enjoy it if you don’t mind the classical Hollywood style), Singin’ in the Rain, A Star Is Born, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Meet Me in St. Louis if you don’t mind the Hollywood/1950s/white people ideology underlying it, Yasujiro Ozu’s stuff, Tampopo, Eat Drink Man Woman, Dumplings, Made in Hong Kong, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge for a great Indian romantic musical, and I could go on but it would take some racking my brains to revive my shitty memory, especially for the more underrated ones SLGJSKDJS. And maybe this is enough for now anyway. 😆

I will add though that if you’re interested in documentaries too, beyond the animated ones I already brought up, The Act of Killing and The Rape of Nanking both always stuck with me due to their depictions of horrific real life mass killings. They are deeply upsetting films though, so TW for all the violence that will be addressed. Oh, and The Dog is a great supplementary documentary to Dog Day Afternoon that shows what the criminal was like in real life—just as a reminder to be careful with what we glamourize, as best of a story it may make.

Finally, I do have a section for live-action Chinese films that are decently high rated in this cdrama recs list I’ve linked below, but tbh I’m sure there’s people out there who know even more good ones than I do, as my specialty is more so in animation. 😅

Anyone got any movie recs btw?

I want to watch more movies this year. I do have my own watchlist of course that I sort of ignore but I'm always looking for personal recs :) It doesn't matter what language! Or if the movie lowkey sucks (if you want to rec it to torture me, that's fine too lol).

Crowdsourcing movie-watching ideas....

(I have a letterboxd also if you want to know what kind of movies I watch, but again, I'll take any recs!)

[kunikinnie]

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUKUZAWA i finally did something for someone's birthday humaygahd

Fukuzawa Yukichi SFW Alphabet

A - AU (Random AU here, so like domestic, prince, vampire, etc.)

obvious and highly inaccurate but just let me have this one HAHAHAH

Samurai AU where Fukuzawa falls in love with one of the daimyo’s children. OR he falls in love with a rival samurai. I think both would be fun :3

When I was writing this I originally wrote about the neighbor AU but I’m actually writing it out rn so ye

B - Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You’d definitely be the one to approach first, even if you met due to work, so even if you’re already “friends” it will take time and effort to truly be his un/official “best friend”. Intrigue and annoy him enough and he might give in to you. With this man, perseverance is key. Once he tolerates your shenanigans that’s when you know you’re close.

He’ll certainly be the “exhausted because of this idiot but they’re MY idiot” sort of friend. Not quite the parent type of friend, more like the personification of the good side of your consciousness type. You can poke fun at him but fortunately (or unfortunately, if you’re looking for fun) he doesn’t react much at all. What is fun though is that you’re the only one who knows and witnesses the embarrassing stuff he does .

C - Cuddles (Cuddler? Not a cuddler? Maybe a cuddler? How would they cuddle?)

He’s not that big on physical affection, so I wouldn’t say he’s a cuddler. He’ll big spoon for you if you ask him to. BUT when he initiates it and/or doesn’t let you go longer than you’d expect, that’s when you know he’s subtly letting his heart out and saving it from breaking into a million pieces. Big spoon for him during those moments and he can’t thank you enough.

D - Dance (Do they like to dance with you? How good of a dancer are they?)

No. Cannot and will not. Although you might be able to convince him; it just really depends on the reason and the mood. If it’s something romantic then he’ll actually try his best.

E - Excitement (How do they act when they’re excited? What excites them?)

He’s not that excitable even when it comes to things he does like. The most is he’ll be more open and enthusiastic in sharing his thoughts about the subject, but if you’re observant enough you’ll see his eyes light up and there’s a hidden smile throughout your discussion. Point it out and he’ll get quite flustered. Fukuzawa likes talking about books he finds interesting as well as some history, and of course, cats.

F - Films (What kind of movies would they like? Theaters or Netflix?)

He can enjoy most films but he prefers those with some reflective aspect to them. They’re usually better visually and it’s just his nature to “not waste his time on mindless things.” Definitely prefers theaters, but watching it at home with you is alright as well.

Oh, and maybe he avoids action/spy/assassin-themed films. It triggers memories he’d rather forget.

G - Group Mates (how are they as a group mate?)

He’s… perfectly average. Doesn’t complain, doesn’t say much, usually attends meetings. His skill set is pretty general too. Whether it’s researching, writing, or even presenting, he can accomplish all those satisfactorily. He’ll do anything he sees as necessary, even leading the group if it comes to that, except anything that has to do with art or designing stuff. Big no no for him.

H - Hugs (How would they hug you? Is it common for them to hug you?)

He doesn’t hug that often, except for every single night before the two of you go to bed. Most of the time he communicates through his eyes or small touches whenever he wants something, so if he’s in the romantic mood, he’ll first grab one of your hands and lightly squeeze it, gazing at your eyes all the while, before gently pulling you into a tight hug from the front.

I - Injury (How do they react if you get injured?)

Regardless of the reason or situation, he’ll maintain his calm and address your injury as quickly as possible. It’s never a good idea to let your emotions get the better of you – or so he says.

Unfortunately if even the slightest blame can be put on you, he’ll be furious at you. How could you endanger yourself like that?! Thankfully the anger dies out quickly and he apologizes for raising his voice like that at you, before locking you in a tight hug and whispering that he loves you so much and just can’t bear to lose you.

J - Jealous (Would they ever get jealous? How would they act if they were jealous?)

He’s the type to not realize he’s jealous until someone calls him out on it. It starts out so subtle: he’s a little worried about this person around you, which is, he says, totally a normal thing to worry about, and then more intrusive thoughts pop up when this person lingers around you longer than they should.

Yet he wouldn’t do much about it. You can handle it yourself, right? He’ll observe everything about your interactions with that person – only to make sure they don’t harm you, he claims – and will only intervene if he feels it to be necessary.

It’s actually not that difficult to tell – at least to you. He suddenly sulks a little more often and tries to be more affectionate: sure signs that he’s feeling a little insecure about your relationship.

K - Kisses (How would they kiss you? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Fukuzawa prefers slow and soft kisses on the lips. It’s intimate and encompassing of all that he feels for you and even what you feel for him. Again he’s not that physically affectionate so kisses are rare, which is why when they do happen he’d like them to be a little bit more special.

L - Little Ones (How are they around kids? Do they want a family?)

He’s gentle and more soft-spoken around them, but given how he doesn’t like to socialize much, caring for younger kids drains him quickly.

A younger Fukuzawa would definitely not want to start a family. It’s not that he hates children at all – in fact he can’t help but smile when he hears genuine laughter from them – but given his profession and his doubt in his parenting skills, he would avoid having to take responsibility in caring for a child.

But once Ranpo comes around (or if you convince him enough), he might give in if you try. Soon he’s taking care of many lost children that at this point, what’s another addition?

M - Memory (Favorite memory together?)

It would definitely be one of your vacations alone together at the beach. There’s a unique serenity to it that he finds worth going over and over again.

Maybe it’s in how the air smells fresher – far from the urban musk of Yokohama – or how the sun seems brighter –was it just how much you smiled the entire time? Regardless, being able to actually enjoy himself and be far from the usual worries makes every moment feel new. Earth’s blessings, you included, make themselves bare and welcomed him to appreciate its beauty in its totality. If only that peace could last for the rest of his days…

N – Nicknames (What do they call you, and what are their favorite things to be called?)

He just calls you by your first name, and he expects that from you as well (save for the added honorific like -kun or even -chan). You can get away with calling him something super embarrassing but please do not do so in public.

O - Obvious (How obvious do they make it that they like you?)　

He hides it well. It’s almost scary. One would have to know him extremely well AND be around him very often to notice any change in his demeanor.

But if for any reason he has to be a little bit more obvious without being too obvious, then that’s when he’ll fail miserably. It’s his natural tendency to hide his true feelings so letting them out “naturally” will be a huge challenge for him. Please be patient with this poor guy.

P - Photographs (Are they into documenting your relationship? What kind of pics would they take? candids? posed? funny?)

He’s not much into taking pictures except on very important occasions. But there are moments where the setting and lighting are just perfect – that’s when he’ll tell you he’d like to take a picture of you. I don’t see him taking candid photos because he feels that’s inappropriate, but he doesn’t have a preference for the poses you do. The only sort of picture that he’s still not good at taking is selfies. You’ll have to do it for the two of you.

Q - Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?)

Unfortunately due to how busy he is, he tends to forget some facts and stories about you, including those you’ve told him yourself. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or doesn’t try to show it, it’s just that he worries about a lot of things that other things can get lost somewhere in between. Feel free to tell him again though, he’ll be more than happy to (re)learn anything about you.

R - Romance (How romantic are they? What are their go-to ways of being romantic?)

It’s a little weird with Fukuzawa. Some of his acts are extremely romantic, while others barely hover above platonic. Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it’s not. Perhaps it’s because he’s not used to being vocal about his affections that he’s not sure how to gauge himself.

His favorite romantic act is giving you flowers from the largest bouquet to the daintiest single flower. It’s perfect for all occasions, he thinks, and it’s easy to scale the gift based on the mood he’s trying to set. But the most rewarding times are when you expect it least – the smile on your face is unmatchable.

S - Sleep (What are their sleep habits?)

Before he sleeps, he has to read something. It doesn’t matter what it is (fiction or non-fiction books, the newspaper, heck even a frickin magazine) as long as it’s in print. He’ll also drink some sort of tea before bed (how he doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night to pee is a mystery).

He does have pajamas (yukatas) which he uses regularly. Falls asleep on his back but tosses and turns every now and then, but generally speaking he doesn’t move much at all. He prefers sleeping on a futon since that’s what he’s used to, so if his partner is okay with it then he’ll just sleep on an adjacent futon. But if his partner insists on a Western-style bed, then that’s okay too. Just no touching while sleeping – he likes a little personal space.

T - Try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, everyday tasks?)

Here’s the thing: his “best effort” tends to look like the bare minimum if one is used to more “high effort” things. But trust me he’s really trying his best to show you that he loves you.

Fukuzawa shines best with the smaller dates over big ones or even simple everyday tasks. It’s special enough for the effort to bear fruit the most but not large enough to tire him out. The reason why he’s not as good with daily tasks is that he’s not meticulous like Kunikida, so he tends to skip out on things when he feels like he could.

U - Ugly (what would be some ugly habits of theirs?)

One would definitely be that he gets annoyed easily and that he’s not honest about his emotions at times, even to himself. It creates distance between the two of you (or really anyone for that matter). In the former, his outbursts usually come as unintentionally harsh words, and in the latter even if you can tell what he’s thinking, it’s hard to get him to do anything about it. He’s quite stubborn like that.

V - Victorious (Would they play games with you? What kind of games? Would they win?)

It’s canon he plays go, but I think he also plays hanafuda and a handful of other Western card games (not that he’s particularly good at those). Any board game that’s strategy-based and not too difficult to learn is right up his alley as well.

I’d say he’ll do quite well in games he’s already well-versed in (like go), and if he loses more than half the time his pride can’t take it and gets a little sulky.

X - (E)x (How do they handle exes? What do they do if they see them?)

If it’s his exes, he avoids them like the plague. For him if someone is out if his life then they’re out, out for good. Honestly, he’d rather not remember they even existed.

When it comes to yours, his reaction depends on your history with that ex. Did they hurt you in the past? Then he’ll be a bit wary of them (if you’re with him) and make sure you’re okay (both physically and mentally). If it ended amicably and they’re totally out of your mind, then he won’t say anything at all.

It’ll be a little different if he notices that there’s still something there, however. After a long internal debate (please read the jealousy portion) he’ll confront you about it in private.

Y - Yearning (What do they do when they miss you?)

He likes to look at small objects that remind him of you. Whether it’s a gift you bought him, vice versa, or a picture of you he keeps at his desk(s), he’ll stare at it longingly and reminisce internally about moments of your relationship he’s most fond of. Usually a few minutes of that is enough to satisfy him.

But if it’s that bad, he’ll be talking to cats about you. Yes. He talks to them. As he pets them he’ll either complain about how it’s been so long since he’s seen you or he’ll reminisce out loud.  He’d die from embarrassment if someone catches him so he only does it in deserted public spaces (or at home if you two happen to take care of any cats).

Z - Zodiac (What is their zodiac sign? Do they fit it to a T? Speaking of zodiac, how superstitious are they when it comes to love?)

a/n: I’m also a Capricorn but idk any of these HAHA

Some stereotypes of the Capricorn that could also apply to Fukuzawa are: being old-schooled, a workaholic, on the cold side, and highly disciplined. Based on what I’ve seen it looks like he pretty much encapsulates Capricorn energy except that he’s a little more grounded and less ambitious.

He doesn’t believe in this at all, however. Even if he’s head-over-heels in love with someone he wouldn’t check out their zodiac compatibility (unless someone else tells him – but still, he doesn’t really believe in it).