#i did the thing i know triggers me but i was hopin for a different result this time

[floatingwithlaura]

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[michibikionmain]

Five Feet Apart

As much as I love Technoblade and Connor, they REALLY could not read the scene that was happening between Tommy and Tubbo and lowkey ruined it for me, so I’m rewriting it a bit to be more... emotional. Y’know, with less weird interruptions and what not. Might post on Ao3 but just figured I’d share here.

Spoilers for Dream SMP Exile arc and Tommy/Techno’s most recent plot streams from 12/27/2020

Slight trigger warning for mentions of suicide, panic attacks, and the other themes that have been occuring in this mess of an arc. Not sure what parts exactly could be/are triggering so I’m just gonna say the content level is about the same as the topics of Tommy’s exile arc. If anything from that storyline makes you uncomfy, this is not the story for you.

Tommy really should’ve been expecting this since the first time he and Technoblade snuck into L’manburg. He’d pointed out something along the lines of it to him, sharing fears of getting caught by any citizens of the nation he’d once helped established. Somehow, his mind never explored the possibility of this particular citizen finding him.

Quite Possibly the worst citizen that could’ve found him really.

Hearing the quiet, ever-familiar voice call out his name, like a whisper of a ghost more than a person, Tommy froze in place, causing the piglin man and their hostage to stop and look behind at him.

“What is it? C’mon Tommy, we’re runnin’ outta potions, we gotta keep movin’ if we wanna make it outta Manburg--” Technoblade began, used to the usually inattentive nature of his new companion. He’d prepared to chastise him for moving slowly or trying to start another ridiculous plan in the middle of their latest struggle, sighing as he adjusted his cape. Just like Tommy, however, he seemed to have not anticipated seeing the short, blonde man who stared at them with wide eyes.

Tubbo.

Once Tommy’s best friend, now turned president of L’manburg, Tubbo had hardly changed since Tommy had last seen him and even less since Techno had seen him as they attempted to execute him, but there was a more solemn energy about him. His shoulders were more stiff, his eyes a bit darker. The once bright and cheerful child had lost some of his sweet spark, looking torn between relief and disbelief as he stared at the two men who’d been banned from his country trying to sneak out a hostage.

“T-Tommy? I-is it really you? Surely not... s-surely... surely not. You’ve got to be like Ghostbur, aren’t you?” He stammered out quietly, tears threatening to spill out of the corner of his eyes as he clenched his fists. The president’s breathing started becoming uneven as he sniffled, staring at what... what had to be the ghost of his closest friend. He’d seen the tower himself, after all. And the shape of Logstedshire... Tommy couldn’t have survived whatever had happened there, and while a small part of him clung to the naïve and childish hope that his best friend was still alive somehow, even if he was working with the man Tubbo hated and feared more than anyone else on the server.

Tommy stared back, but instead of relief, there was a sense of betrayal, exhaustion, hurt... anger. A small bit of the colorful teen was happy to see that Tubbo was doing well, not that Tommy expected anything bad to have happened to him. Maybe that would’ve made it easier to swallow the fact that he hadn’t visited Tommy at all. He could chalk it up to injury, or sickness, but he was just... Tubbo. His Tubbo, no, not his anymore. He squeezed the compass in his pocket tightly, biting his lip as he stared forward with unfocused eyes. “Like hell I’mma ghostbur bitch,” He managed to mutter out through gritted teeth, “I’m real. TommyInnit, the biggest man on the planet. Could a ghost have muscles as big and real as mine?” Tommy comfortably slipped into his overconfident persona, determined not to show how scared and upset he was now, though Technoblade could still see how his hands shaked at his side.

“N-no, but... Tommy you... Dream said you were, when I visited you were-” Tubbo began to ramble off as he rushed forwards, the pure joy and relief of knowing Tommy, his Tommy, was still alive overtaking his previous anger and panic as he went to try and pull the man into a hug.

“You didn’t visit me. Not once,” Tommy said quietly and curtly, as he stepped out of the way of the attempted hug, “Dream was-- You never came. I waited for you, Tubbo, I stared at the stupid fuckin’ compass that you didn’t even keep for hours hopin’ you’d come, but you... you fucking left me. You fucking exiled me and left,” He began to rattle on, something about seeing Tubbo so glad to see him leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Tommy squeezed the compass tighter, trying to keep tears out of his own eyes now.

“B-but I did! I did visit! But I wasn’t invited to the party, I thought.. I thought you were mad at me, Dream made it sound like you were so I- I-i waited until I couldn’t! And when I got there you... Tommy, it looked like you DIED!” Tubbo began to sob back, allowing the tears to flow out of his eyes. What was Tommy talking about? Was he still mad at Tubbo? Tubbo would apologize a hundred times over if it would make his friend less angry, anything to bring him back. “W-we had a funeral planned and everything! The craters, the pillar... I thought you’d... done you-know-what!” He continues to sob out his frustrations.

“But you were invited! Ghostbur invited you personally! Every bitch on this fucking server was invited! But no one showed up! You left me because you don’t really care about me, do you? You even threw away the compass-- Oh? Didya think I didn’t hear about that? How you fuckin’ burned it?” Tommy snapped back, pulling out his own compass and holding it out with a death grip as if to emphasize his point.

“I-I didn’t... Tommy, please I didn’t-” With clumsy, shaking hands Tubbo pulled his own pocket, though the glass was heavily cracked and pieces of metal were dented, “I-it was an accident-- A-a creeper came and-”

Technoblade stood silently, watching the pair stare at each other and cry. They needed to be at the meeting place by now for their hostage exchange, in order to get Techno’s tools back, but the thought of interrupting the two friends in a moment like that made the constant anxiety bubbling under his skin only get worse, the voices in his head shouting all sorts of things as he cleared his throat and looked back at the hostage, who seemed to be sharing in his anxiety in this situation. The piglin cleared his throat, perhaps a bit to loudly than the moment called for as both of previously distracted boys turn to look at him.

“Uh... are we completing this hostage trade or not?” He says uncomfortably, shifting on his feet as Tubbo sniffled, wiping his face with his sleeves while Tommy kept his eyes fixed on the president. “Your emotional baggage is cool and all but y’know... we got things to do today Tommy... we’re kinda wanted, y’know-” Techno pointed out as he fiddled with the end of the lead attached to their hostage, who nodded.

“Uh, yeah! Please, I’d really like to be let go! I don’t wanna be here anymore, man! I don’t even live in this country...” Connor, the hostage, expressed with a sense of panic. Their words seemed to snap Tommy out of his anger for a minute, as he pushed Tubbo further away and walked to stand by Technoblade. 

With a sigh, he shoved the compass back into his pocket and wiped his face, not bearing to look at the president anymore as he took the lead from Techno. “Yeah, whatever bitch. Let’s get your fuckin’ show on the road...” Tommy muttered defeatedly. He felt Tubbo’s eyes burning into his skull, clearly more words to be said, but one thing was clear.

They had jobs to do now, living in two different worlds. What remained of their friendship was gone for now as they got to work.

Tommy and Tubbo, the once clingy duo, now stood five feet apart as they used empty words to discuss the terms of the trade.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Okay I was gonna do another SG:WoT post anyway because we’ve got a new King interview but THEN, he released the cover to issue four so you KNOW I gotta geek out about this.

(Sorry that this blog is all SG:WoT, all the time now, but I am just. Insanely excited that Evely is drawing Supergirl. Feel free to block/mute these posts as needed. XD)

Okay, so!

First! The interview!

It’s on (ugh) screenrant so I’m not gonna link, I’m just gonna nab the interesting bits:

On the different direction of the book, and if he wanted to go back to the original Adventure Comics vibes: “So, the idea of this thing was to strip her story down, because Supergirl has a majorly weird history in terms of continuity. At least 13 writers have rewritten her origin over the years. Her dad has 13 origin stories; sometimes he's evil, sometimes he's a robot, sometimes alive, sometimes he's dead. She's changed dramatically in the last 10 years, between coming back to life to the New 52 to Rebirth. She's gone through so much that it's hard to get a hold of her. Not to mention in the '90s, when I was coming up, she was like an ectoplasmic space angel. There's so much there, and I just wanted to take all that stuff off and get to the core of the character; get her out of her normal environments and her normal conflicts. It seems like all our stories are about her dad or her relationship to Superman. Instead, let's see the purity of that character.”

On starting the book the way he did: “...I wanted to start out with a very human moment of a person turning 21 and getting drunk. And a person who is getting drunk because they want to be alone, and they just want to forget about the shit that's happened in their past. That's such a human moment. And the fact that she's Supergirl, so she waits till it's legal - because these super people, they follow the rules. She waited, and now it's legal and she can have this moment. She goes off by herself, with her dog that always follows her, and she has a moment where she can be free. For a lot of people in the US, whether you've been drinking since you were 14 or started that day, your 21st birthday and the day after are days you remember for the rest of your life. It's a day of freedom and consequence, and I wanted to show Supergirl going through that.”

On rising to the challenge of helping Supergirl perform better, sales/popularity-wise: “ When I first got on this book, I called Steve Orlando, who had just written a Supergirl run. And he was the one who opened my eyes to how good the character is. He had such insight into her. He was like, ‘There is a difference between Clark and her, and what she's gone through.’ He just laid it for me.”

On starting the book off with Ruthye’s journey, and gradually building to Kara’s: “ I was like, "Okay, this is going to be from the point of view of someone under Supergirl." And so I switched the point of view to this new brand new character, whose name is Ruthye. And we went from there: we start with Ruthye's story, we see her discover Supergirl, and she's our audience. She's our way in, the way Robin has always been the way into Batman.”

On whether or not other characters will show up, outside of Supergirl and Ruthye: “It's like my Superman: Up in the Sky, where it's a distillation of the character. You'll see other characters, but the focus of every issue will be on Supergirl. And it's something where at the very end, you can be like, "Why is Supergirl great? Why is she important to the DC Universe? What is her future in the DC Universe? Here, read this one trade that can answer all three of those questions at once."So, there will be other characters in the Super universe. But the focus will always be on her; on Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow. It's her finding out about herself and her own strength.”

On Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow vs. his other titles: “Supergirl is my first 2021 book, or my first book of the 20s. That wrapped up my books of the teens, and now we're in a new generation. God willing, from the moment I started this book, I was like, ‘I'm gonna take a risk, and I'm gonna write books that are a little brighter.’ I know that's coming from me, and it's not to say we're going to avoid conflict or we're not going to explore the depths of the human soul. All that stuff will be in there. But these books are made from a place of joy, not from a place of anger; from a place of hope, not from a place of despair. It very much contrasts to those other books, in my mind.”

On how he thinks folks will react to the Krypto cliffhanger: “I mean, they're gonna think it's a good cliffhanger. That's how I think they're going to react. They're going to say, ‘I want the next issue.’ That's literally my job as written in my contract. Something where at the end of an issue, someone says, ‘I want more.’ So, that's how I hope they react.”

As mentioned, this is not the full interview; the whole thing can be found on screenrant, and I think Tom King shared a link on his twitter. 

And now, as always, SOME THOUGHTS:

I love that he brings up the fact that so many Supergirl stories focus on Zor-El and Clark, and how he was like, ‘let’s not do that.’

That’s my big gripe with modern Supergirl comics; they are trying so hard to make a statement on why we need both a Supergirl AND a Superman, that they end up spending ALL THEIR TIME talking about Clark, instead of, you know. Telling a fun Supergirl story.

Same thing with Zor-El! I know folks love Rebirth--I like it quite a bit myself--but I think the nostalgia goggles prevent folks from remembering that the whole first arc of that book was re-doing the ‘Cyborg Superman’ garbage from the Nu52. 

Speaking of Rebirth, really like that of all the recent SG writers he coulda talked to, he talked to Steve Orlando.

Like, if ya can’t get Gates on the phone, get Orlando.

(I get the sense that Gates doesn’t like this book, actually, based on a vague tweet. But don’t quote me on that.) 

Looks like Ruthye is gonna be our POV/audience insert character for the whole run. I’m...mmmm. I don’t love it, but I understand the logic here. Especially since he compared it to Batman and Robin--how you use Robin as your entry point for a bat book. 

And you know what? Kara’s supporting cast needs some help, so. Welcome to the Superfam, Ruthye.

I also love the explanation behind the drinking thing, as well as the fact that Kara waited until it was 100% legal for her to drink because OF COURSE SHE WOULD.

I am so worried that Krypto is gonna die b/c of what we saw in Future State. I’m over here with my Pepe Silva board like, ‘Well, what if Kara agrees to help Ruthye because Krem MURDERED HER DOG?!?! WHAT IF THIS IS JOHN WICK IN SPACE?!?!?!’

So I am DISMAYED that King does not reassure us AT ALL.

Thus I am forced to cling to this tidbit here: “ But these books are made from a place of joy, not from a place of anger; from a place of hope, not from a place of despair. It very much contrasts to those other books, in my mind.”

Killing the dog would not be joyful. XD So, like. I’m REALLY HOPIN’ HE’LL BE OKAY.

AND LASTLY, (Except not really)

I have some additional, miscellaneous thoughts unrelated to the interview b/c I’m me and I’m loving having a Supergirl comic back on the shelves, however polarizing it may be.

Something I realized, when details started to come out regarding the book, and that other folks have now noted as well: Kara was 16 when Rebirth launched in 2016; she’s just turned 21 in 2021, making her one of the extremely few comic characters to age in real time.

I don’t think that was planned, but it is cool.

It occurred to me on a re-read that Ruthye never calls Kara Kara in her narration, only Supergirl. And I was a little sad! But then I remembered that Kara wouldn’t necessarily reveal her identity to people she’s helping, she would just be ‘Supergirl’ to them. 

I really do love how, so far, there has been NARY A MENTION of Kara angst-ing over being in Clark’s shadow, or being Superman’s cousin.

It appears that her drinking alone on a remote planet is more related to trying to forget her trauma/grief related to Krypton. MAYBE. We don’t know yet.

The Clark thing could still come up. I hope it doesn’t. 

(Interesting to note! Kara recently appeared in Action Comics, helping Clark and Jon investigate some Kryptonian refugees; IDK how closely these books will necessarily ‘work together’ in terms of continuity, but! It’s possible that the discovery of those mysterious refugees was triggering, thus sending her on her way to her own solo title.)

(Well. That’s gonna be my headcanon, anyway. XD)

AND LASTLY, (for real this time)

ISSUE FOUR COVER!!!!

Okay, some immediate thoughts:

GOOD LORD IT’S STUNNING.

I loooooove the fire motif, reminds me of a part from the Rebirth run, where Kara met the Super-Man of China, and they visually referenced All-Star Superman, having the Kryptonians kind of...become the sun.

Also STAR CHART?!?! PIRATE MAP!?!?!?! 

The VIBES I tell you, the VIIIIIIIBES.

Also I love that it’s just Kara.

Don’t get me wrong! I like Ruthye just fine so far! But yeah, yeah, give me some more solo-Kara focus, even if it’s just in the art.

Just realized that once this thing gets collected as a TBP, we might get some Evely art backmatter. OhHhhHHhhH YESSSS. 

Anyways, the long wait for issue 2 begins! 

[angels-fluff]

Hi, I wanna try this kinda for the first time ever. But I am curious. So, how about Arackniss with a female (but gender neutral) snake demon s-o, who is fascinated of him, his job and his skills with guns, but becomes blushed and nervous when it gets too privately (like being alone and close to another and talking) between them? (I hope that's not too much. And Thank you in advance.)

It’s all good! You’re very welcome and I hope you like the headcanons I came up with!

Arackniss x Genderneutral, shy, snake s/o!

Upon expressing interest in guns and admiration for his work in the mafia, Arackniss had decided to invite you to go shooting with him!

While this seemed like a good idea, you two got along just fine, it wasn’t until you had arrived to meet up with him that you realized this wasn’t going to be quite what you had expected. 

No, it wasn’t anything to do with him or the guns or anything, it was just...You? The second that damn spider looked your way it was like you couldn’t breathe. Your face heated up just from him greeting you. 

At first he didn’t even notice, but once he did it made him a little nervous. With snakes being cold blooded and all, he sort of assumed that the pink that was dusted across your cheeks could be from being cold. Maybe in hell it was different? Still… You seemed otherwise fine so he decided to let it go for the time being. 

Once everything was all set up, he showed you how to load the gun and where to look to aim before the gun was handed to you 

“One last thing before ya shoot, watch out for da kick-” 

Of course, feeling his eyes on you was nervewracking and to make it even worse? You were shaking so before he could even finish warning you, the sound of a shot rang out. It startled you and you fell back, the kick of the gun nearly causing you to smack yourself in the face

Well...At least you weren’t scared of actually shooting the gun? 

“You okay?” while he tried to bite back a chuckle, there was concern in his eyes 

“I-I’m fine...Did I hit the target?” 

Slowly looking over to the target, there was a small dent in the target’s stand “Ya...Sort of hit it? Here.”  

Making his way over to you, Arackniss gently put his hands on yours and helped redirect you to the way he would hold the gun and aim. If your face wasn’t on fire before, it definitely matched the color of a hot cheetoh now

“Go ahead an’ pull da trigger, dis way will make it so ya ain’t gonna get hit with da kick so hard.” 

Once again, you tried to shoot, this time your shaking got the best of you and while it landed on the very outer edge of the target, you felt your heart sink 

This was not going the way you had hoped and you found yourself getting rather anxious and embarrassed about the fact that you hadn’t been able to properly hit the target 

Arackniss had noticed your hands shaking and once again was concerned. Was this too much for you? Was shooting just not your thing? He wouldn’t be upset or offended if that was the case but he still felt like he should check on you 

“Ya sure ya can handle dis? Did ya wanna stop?” There was concern laced in his voice 

“No, I don’t want to stop...C-Could you just show me where to look again?” 

With a nod he came back over to you, showing you once again how to properly aim and you gave it another go 

Once the gun was empty, you had...2 shots on the target towards the outer rings 

“Are ya feeling okay? Ya been acting a little off today.” 

“I’m sorry…I’m fine I just, I don’t know I really thought I could do this if you showed me but then I got here and you were watching me and I started to get kind of…” 

A hand reached over, to take one of yours gently, another tilting your chin up to look at him 

“Ya did fine, okay? An’ ya can practice more on ya own if ya want, but if ya worried that I was judging ya, I wasn’t. I’ve been doing dis since I was a kid, it just takes practice.” 

His words were reassuring and the touch was comforting, but of course you were absolutely melting inside. Inteneral screams pretty much as soon as his hand had touched yours 

“I want...To keep shooting with you.” 

“Was hopin’ ya’d say dat. Here.” 

Next thing you knew, his coat was around your shoulders. Your surprised expression making him smile 

“Can’t have ya being cold.” 

What a sweet, oblivious, little soot ball 

“R-Right, thanks.” 

“Now let’s get ya a bullseye!” His face seemed to light up, the idea of getting you to be able to effortless hit a target was exciting to him. He just wanted to be with you. Just wanted to see you smile and help you reach your goals. To be the one to be able to say /he/ taught you how to shoot 

You were going to have plenty of time together

[thekadster]

seize the date (jatherine first date fluff)

Fandom: Newsies (All Media Types)

Word Count: 2,144

Trigger Warnings: none!

❝Jack Kelly was the fearless, charismatic leader of the Manhattan newsies. His name was respected in all the city, even by Spot Conlon himself. A good fighter, a great newsie, and even a father figure to some of the kids in his care. With that kind of resume, one would assume that there weren't a lot of things that scared him, and they would be right.

But then, there came the girl.

And boy, was he scared.❞

also read it on ao3!

“I can’t do this, Dave.”

Jack groaned and pressed his forehead against the brick wall. Davey, arms crossed and standing next to him, rolled his eyes. “Jack, we’ve gone over this ten times.”

Jack turned to look at him. “It’s been ten already?”

“Well, eleven.”

Jack ran a shaky hand through his hair. He shrugged, straightened his vest, adjusted his hat, dusted off his pants, did every little thing to smoothen out every single one of his rough, ragged edges. He took a deep breath of the cool afternoon breeze. “Do I look okay?” he asked.

“You look fine,” replied Crutchie, patting him on the back.

Jack tensed up. “Fine ain’t gonna cut it.”

“What he means to say,” Davey quickly interjected. “Is that you look ready.”

Jack was quiet. Was he ready, though? I mean, he had to be. He had been prepping for this day for over a month. He had dreamed of this! Of course he was ready!

“I don’t feel like it,” he mumbled, finding his voice.

Davey put a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine,” he reassured. “The fact that you even prepared is more than enough. She’s gonna love it.”

Crutchie hummed in agreement. Jack grumbled and fixed his collar. Looking over Davey’s shoulder, he instantly tensed up. Whispering to his two friends and patting their backs, he quickly sent them away. They crossed the street, briefly smiling and waving at the approaching girl.

Jack Kelly was the fearless, charismatic leader of the Manhattan newsies. His name was respected in all the city, even by Spot Conlon himself. A good fighter, a great newsie, and even a father figure to some of the kids in his care. With that kind of resume, one would assume that there weren't a lot of things that scared him, and they would be right.

But then, there came the girl.

And boy, was he scared.

“Hey!” a chipper voice called. There she was, now taking her last few steps towards him; Katherine Plumber: his latest love, and his latest fear.

“Heya, Kat,” Jack replied, grinning. He held out his arm. “Shall we, Miss Plumber?”

Katherine giggled. “After you, Mister Kelly.”

As much as he was a nervous wreck behind his facade, he was genuinely glad that this day had come. It would just be them and the fire escape, plain and simple. No need to worry about the noise of the world below. What could possibly go wrong?

Not a lot, Jack prayed.

He led her up the rusted metal rails, slowing down to match her pace. As much as her long skirt and boots proved to be a nuisance, Katherine’s heart began to swirl with exhilaration. She had been up this way before, but the feeling of climbing so high up was still an adventure to her. As the ground grew further and further away, the more her heart pumped. 

“Well, here she is,” Jack spoke, swinging open a small metal gate. “Welcome to my “penthouse”.”

In reality, the area was rather small, just enough to fit two boys and a sack of belongings in the corner. But as soon as Katherine turned around, she quickly remembered where Jack got the name from. She was met with the sight of hundreds of buildings, probably even thousands, if she counted. She leaned forward on the railing. The last time she was here was under much different circumstances, and it was only now that she got to properly take in the view. All of them looked so proud and tall from the ground. It’s crazy how different things can seem when you put them in a new perspective, she realized.

“We’re so high up,” whispered Katherine.

“Yeah,” replied Jack.

Jack quietly joined her side, looking out into the skyline he knew so well. It was weird, he thought. He had seen this view thousands of times before, it became just another part of living here. But now, the water towers and the buildings and their big signs all seemed to have a new glow in the afternoon sun. But the sun couldn’t do much. Perhaps it was who he was with that made all the difference, and who shined brighter than the sun could ever hope to.

“It’s beautiful,” added Katherine, a smile tugging at her lips.

Jack turned to look at her. “Not as beautiful as you.”

She laughed, feeling heat quickly rush to her face. “Are you afraid of heights?”

“Would I be livin’ up here if I was?”

“Ha! Fair enough.”

“Are you?” asked Jack.

Katherine paused, then leaned closer to him. “Not anymore.”

Jack stayed still, even though his face was already flushed. Awkwardly clearing his throat, he gestured for them to sit down on a neatly laid-out blanket. She gave him an amusing look, but played along. “So,” he began, quickly changing the topic. “How’s work?”

“It’s been okay, just grabbing whatever story I can find,” replied Katherine.

“Anybody givin’ ya trouble?”

She shrugged. “Not really, actually. After I wrote about you and the boys, a lot of people started taking me more seriously.”

“Good,” said Jack. “It’s better than the ballet, ain’t it?”

“Anything’s better than the ballet.”

They laughed. Although they would never say it out loud, if you’d ask them, they would say that the other’s laugh could light up New York.

“How about you? How’s work?” asked Katherine, shifting in her place.

“Same old thing,” answered Jack. “The fellas are doin’ okay. Oh, and this mornin’, Finch hit one a’ the Delanceys in the head with his slingshot.”

She chuckled, eyes widening in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah! Kid ran like hell, I tell ya.”

“Who was it, Oscar or Morris?”

Jack scratched his head. “Morris, I think.”

Katherine smiled to herself, her eyes distant for a brief moment. “You know, I went to kindergarten with them.”

Jack’s mouth gaped. “You know the Delanceys? You went to school with ‘em?”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “They were the biggest troublemakers. There wouldn’t be a day where they wouldn’t be in the time-out corner. Oh, and when both of them got into trouble, the teacher would put them on opposite ends of the room.”

“Sounds about right,” he remarked. As soon as she turned her head, Jack quickly hid the newspaper he was sketching on.

“How’s Crutchie doing, by the way?” she asked.

“He’s doin’ fine. Still smilin’ no matter what, if that’s what you mean. Folks are happy to see him back on the street. ‘S got loyal customers that got worried when he stopped showin’ up. That kid’s a ray a’ sunshine.”

“I’m sure.” Katherine’s heart softened, watching a warm smile creep up on Jack’s face at the thought of his best friend. She looked around. As simple as his humble abode was, she couldn’t help but be charmed. It was like his own little safe haven, a place that the noisy, messy world below could never reach. “When did you start living up here?”

He shrugged. “Probably one, two years ago?”

She nodded. “Why don’t you live in the Lodging House?”

“‘S mostly to give the other kids more room,” replied Jack. “Plus, nothin’ beats the view up here.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Katherine stood up and looked back out into the city.

Jack noticed her long silence and looked up at her, the girl and her wonder-filled eyes, gazing at a city that was at her fingertips. Her father ran this town. He owned the biggest newspaper business in all the country. With that kind of power, she would have all sorts of friends in high spaces. Friends with big houses, fancy clothes, and money to burn. Right now, she could’ve been anywhere else, hanging with high society’s cream of the crop.

But she wasn’t, he realized. She was with him. Just another scrappy newsboy with a dream.

It was no secret that Katherine grew up much more differently than the newsies; the world was practically handed to her on a silver platter. She never had to want for much. She had money, status, and everything a girl could wish for. Her father was the wealthiest man in the whole city. But being up here, being with him, it was something she wouldn’t trade for anything her father could buy.

Jack quietly stood up beside her, and taking a breath, he threw a newspaper airplane, interrupting her trance. They smiled at each other, watching the high, crisp breeze carry it away. She folded another sheet and threw it off the fire escape, but it only got so far until it took a nosedive.

“At least it’ll be easier to find,” said Jack.

Katherine laughed. “I was never good at paper planes.” Her eyes caught sight of the World building, not too far away. “Say, have you thought about the job my father gave you?”

Jack stared at his own plane, still flying in the distance. “‘M plannin’ on takin’ it.”

Her face lit up. Jack could be illustrating for the papers, a job that would pay much more than hawking them. “Really?”

“Dunno how I’m gonna take it, though,” he added. “How’s it work? What, do I just walk in or somethin’ an’ tell ‘em I want the job?”

“I can arrange an interview for you,” she replied. A chill went down his spine. “I gotta talk to folks like them?”

Katherine put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re gonna be fine,” she gently said. “They know an artist when they see one. And don’t worry, they’re not gonna be super harsh.”

“Here’s to hopin’.” Jack sighed, seeing his paper plane finally hit a far-off wall and fall to the ground. They were quiet for a moment. He blinked, finding the courage to ask her something he’d been meaning to, for a while.

“Why me?” he asked.

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

He repeated the question, but she only gave him a confused look. He decided to rephrase. “Why do you hang around with me?”

“What do you mean “why”?”

“Why?” Jack repeated a third time. “Why me? You got lots’a other guys to choose from, they’s probably better than I’ll ever be. This kinda thing, it’s just- it’s never happened before.”

Katherine paused, giving him a tender look. “It hasn’t,” she began. “Even I’m surprised, to be honest. But, you know why. You were one of the first- only people to believe in me. And that means something. Not a lot of guys are like you, Jack.”

It was true. The strike gave them something to fight for that was much bigger than themselves. What only started as an effort to lower the price of newspapers gave light to the importance of the rights of New York’s working kids. And, in the midst of the whirlwind, they found each other. Just two kids fighting for what they believed in.

They didn’t say it, but a familiar, warm feeling began to form in their chests. It was there, in the wind that rushed past them, in the way they simply stood together, in the way he slowly reached to lace his fingers with hers. And it was there in their silence; though there wasn’t much to say, as young as they were, they understood.

Jack kissed her on the forehead and pulled her into a slightly swaying embrace. “For sure?” he whispered into her hair.

“For sure,” she mumbled into his chest. Her mind calmed while she listened to the beating of his heart.

“Your father ain’t too happy with us bein’ here.”

“He isn’t.”

“Does he know I climb the fire escape after work to see ya?”

“He does.”

“Good.”

They softly laughed. He wished things could stay like this forever. So did she.

Jack pulled away and held her hand. He picked up a bundle of newspapers and shoved them into his back pocket. “Let’s get you back ‘fore he sends the Bulls after me.”

Katherine chuckled. They went the same way they came, the city below growing louder and louder around them with every step. She’d almost forgotten how noisy these streets actually were. She was fine walking herself back to the World, despite Jack’s insistence to take her there. With a kiss and a wave goodbye, the two went their separate ways.

As soon as Jack rounded a corner, he exhaled deeply. He leaned on the brick wall and ran a hand through his hair, a smile creeping on his face. It felt like a dream; he managed to score a date, and with a girl like her. He wished she could’ve stayed longer, but at least he had those sketches he made of her.

But then, his eyes widened.

They weren’t there.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Katherine hadn’t gone too far away when she stopped, stepping on a newspaper airplane. And unfolding it, she couldn’t hold in her smile.

[catisawells]

A Muse for a Huntress

Dahlyah Grimshatter takes aim and fires off a shot into the lake! In the distance, a green bottle sent floating off towards the shoreline shatters!

Catisa Wells tilted her head to the side as she watched Dahlyah curiously, "You're certainly a good shot, Miss Dahlyah." She giggled and wandered over to join the woman.

“--Hm? Oi, thank yeh! Been pullin' triggers since I were jus' a wee lass o' nine.”

"Nine? My father would barely let me use the shears at that age." She snickered, "Then again it seems everyone had a far more colorful upbringing than I did."

Dahlyah Grimshatter holsters the weapon, before hopping down off the bridge railing. "M'father dinnae 'ave too stellar o' plans fer me, frankly. Weren't 'is place t' stop me." she shrugs.

Catisa Wells frowned at that and turned to face her as she folded her arms across her chest, "I am sorry to hear that, it doesn't sound like you had much of a fun childhood."

“Dunane mean t' bore yeh with it, lass. Or bum yeh out by talkin' 'bout it. Point is, been shootin' a while, aye?” Dahlyah Grimshatter grinned wickedly, “Wot's got yeh out an' 'bout, then?”

Catisa Wells smiled faintly, "I just wanted some fresh air... I heard the shooting and came to investigate. It's not something you hear often in this area." She tilted her head and offered Dahlyah a reassuring giggle. "How did your hunt go? I never got the chance to ask."

Dahlyah Grimshatter cheery smirk falters a bit. "--Ah, er... went fine." she nods once. "Tried capturin' th' beastie, like we 'ad talked, if'n yeh recall? But, er…” She shakes her head, and shrugs.

A warm smile spread across Catisa's features as she reached over to place a light touch upon the woman's shoulder, "I remember... I'm sorry you had to take a life, but don't fret. Sometimes it's not always so simple. I'm glad you appear to have come back unharmed more than anything."

“Aye, I ain't damaged none. Ridley neither, thank th' elements. But I ain't all too upset 'bout takin' a life, lass. I take lives like a corehound takes flamin' shites. Aye?” Dahlyah Grimshatter shakes her head, brow furrowing. "I tried, y'know? Tried doin' wot it were we was talkin' 'bout. Snaggin' th' beastie fer study an' all. All fer nothin'.”

Catisa Wells nodded her understanding and blew a lock of loose hair free from her features as she leaned back against the stone walls of the bridge. "I know what you mean. Some avenues of research play out like that all together, except it can take years." She sighed and offered the woman a tired smile, "Nothing cuts deeper than lost time, after all."

Dahlyah Grimshatter tucks her thumbs beneath her belt buckle, as she joins Catisa in leaning up against the wall. "Oi, aye. Makes me think it weren't worth th' effort. Should've jus' done wot I were plannin' an' gone fer th' kill from th' git-go." she huffs. “Jus' dinnae wanna disappoint yeh…”

Catisa Wells arched a brow as she looked to Dahlyah, "Me?" She seemed surprised, "W-why me?" A nervous chuckle escaped her and she quickly moved a hand to cover her features as she blushed. "I didn't mean to, um, mislead you and waste your time trying to catch it..." Her eyes shifted down to her feet and she began to fidget in place.

“--Huh? Oh, uh... no, I dinnae mean…” Dahlyah Grimshatter clears her throat. "It weren't like... -that-... Y'jus' made some good points, I thought, aye? An' I were hopin' t' share th' good news with yeh once I bagged th' beastie 'live. That, er... that's all.” She nods once, breaking her fiery gaze away.

A sigh of relief escaped the fledgeling mage, "Oh good, I was afraid you were upset with me for suggesting such a thing." She let her hand fall to her chest and smiled sweetly to the huntress. "But the only good news I needed was to know that my friend made it back safely from her hunt!"

“--Aye, no, aye... I'm made o' stern stuff, lass.” Dahlyah Grimshatter shakes her head. "I weren't mad at yeh fer nothin'. Jus' disappointed in m'self."

Catisa Wells shook her head, raven locks shifting from side to side with the movement. "You should be proud. You tried. That's more than most of your colleagues or competition or however you might view them would ever do. And that's a victory all by itself, isn't it?" She smirked, "Sometimes you have to give yourself credit for trying to do what others probably wouldn't, what you think is the right thing, even if others don't agree with you. Otherwise who would?"

Dahlyah Grimshatter looks to Catisa, brow raised. "Y'think so? I mean... I like t' think I follow a pretty good code o' ethics, aye? I ain't ne'er tried snipin' a mark that weren't mine. Nor take earnin's out from another bounty hunter. Killed plenty o' marks, but none wot dinnae deserve it, reckon. She shrugs. "Kinna like that?"

Catisa Wells shrugged, "I wouldn't presume to know about people. That's a whole realm I hope to never cross into, but regarding beasts at least I don't think they go out of their way to be malicious." A hand covered her lips as she giggled once more, "I would probably be a pretty terrible bounty hunter, I wouldn't ever want to kill a mark."

“E'en if it were a bandit? Or one seekin' t' cause harm t' innocents? Them's th' marks I try an' go fer, m'self.”

Catisa Wells looked out over the water, towards the hills in the distance with an idle smirk upon her lips. "I would be too busy trying to capture them alive so I can find out why. As far as I'm concerned there's always a reason for their actions. Call me an idealist, but if the bandit is stealing from others it's likely because they have no other means to survive so they have to take it from others who do. For one seeking to cause harm to others, why would they wish to do so? Were they hurt themselves or were they hired to do so?" She shrugged lightly with a snicker at herself. "I suppose that's just who I am, I would rather know things so I could understand it better and do something to make a difference about it."

Dahlyah Grimshatter nods slowly, offering a weak smile. "Suppose that's one way o' thinkin'. Ain't a wrong way, but... prone t' git hurt one wat'r another, reckon. There ain't always a reason wot can be figured an' corrected, lass. Not in my experience. Sometimes... folks're jus' malicious an' cruel.”

Catisa Wells chuckled and shook her head, "And that's probably the reason I wouldn't be able to have a career like that." She giggled, "I would probably get myself killed!"

“Ran down a mark once, wot were a Renny. Void elf, aye? Parchments says 'e killed six people by guttin' 'em alive. Nasty fucker, this'n.” Dahlyah Grimshatter frowns, as she recounts the story. "Tracked th' sum'bitch up t' Alterac, found 'im hidin' out in' one o' th' run down towers. Ridley's got 'im by th' leg, an' 'e's practically sniffin' th' gunpowder out m' barrel. Right then I ask 'im... "Why? Why'd y' kill them people like that?" An' y'know wot th' bastard said t' me?” Dahlyah Grimshatter shakes her head, frowning deeper. "Said 'e liked hearin' th' screams they made when 'e cut int'a 'em. Fed 'im lead, right then'n there. An' I'd do it again.” She pulls a small flash from behind her belt, and takes a swig. "... Sorry, lass. Weren't th' most pleasant story, were it? Dinnae mean t' bring yeh down, none."

Catisa Wells furrowed her brow and shook her head again, "I just can't fathom that..." She sighed, "Even in the face of all that I think I would still be asking why. People don't just decide to do that for no reason, they don't just decide to be evil without a cause." Her lips pulled downward in a frown, "It's alright, Miss Dahlyah. I apologize if I seem bothered, it's just something I'm not used to having to deal with."

“Well, if'n yeh ask me, somethin' y' best git used t'. Unpleasant as it is... this world's got evil in it. An' we dunnae always got time t' sort out wot went'n made it so, aye?” Dahlyah Grimshatter takes another swig from her flask, before holding it out in an offer to Catisa.

Catisa Wells held out a hand to politely decline with a faint smile offered, "Perhaps, though I'd like to think that's why there are people like me and then there are others who do what they can to deal with it like yourself while those answers are figured out. Without each other we wouldn't get anywhere, but together change is made over time. That evil may exist and won't go away, one cataclysmic event after another, but efforts to improve our situation never cease."

“... Huh. Interestin'... might take both types, yer sayin'? T' make th' world a better place?”

Catisa Wells nodded, "Mmhmm! While I would hesitate in the face of something you wouldn't, someone like me might know something that could help in some way." She beamed to Dahlyah, "I want to understand and learn everything I can during this life. Who knows what we

could achieve!"

Dahlyah Grimshatter smiles warmly at that and nods once to Catisa. "Aye. Well... when y' put it that way, we make a damn fine team, aye?" she chuckles.

Catisa Wells giggled, "We do!" She exclaimed with a wink to Dahlyah, "If you ever need me to help you study something, just let me know! I'd be more than happy to help. Maybe I'll just stay away from advising you about how to do your hunting instead." An embarrassed laugh escaped her.

Dahlyah Grimshatter shakes her head, still chuckling. "Nae, lass! Yer input were valid, an' appreciated! I dinnae think 'bout wot added good would come 'bout from takin' th' beastie alive, aye? Besides th' up in payout, 'course." she grins. “It were my fault, fer puttin' my expectations so high up. Set m'self up fer th' disappointment, aye? Keep advisin', lass. I'll jus' try an' be more mindful o' worst case versus best case.”

Catisa Wells grinned, "Of course! Maybe next time you have a situation like that one I could join you and learn how it is from your perspective, for a change!" Her gaze rose to the evening sky and pushed herself off of the stone wall, "It's getting a bit late and I need to meet Miss Silverfield for our job board mission. Will I see you at the end of the week for our next excursion?"

Dahlyah Grimshatter nodded once. "Aye, lass. If'n I'm slated fer it, I'll try an' see yeh there. If not, suppose we'll figure out another way t' work t'gether out in th' field, aye? Would like that." she smiles.

"Likewise!" She giggled and offered a happy wave, "See you soon!"

“Aye, forges keep y' warm, lass.”

@dahlyah-grimshatter​

[onebatch2batch]

Stay

Full disclosure: I have not written anything substantial in well over two years. No fanfiction, no original works, no poetry. After watching the Punisher (twice now) it seems like I’m finally able to do it again so I present you with one of the 6 or 7 works I started over the weekend. Feel free to leave commentary, it’s always appreciated. :)

Kastle, 1804 words, post-Punisher series

AO3

“Three months, Frank, and you come in through the window like Edward from Twilight. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?” she asked, half frustrated and honestly, half relieved. She was beginning to think he’d left for good.

(In which Karen has a new apartment, a lot to drink, and has words.)

Karen Page knew it wasn’t a good idea to pull out the bottle of bourbon she kept hidden away in her cupboard, but it had been an extremely long week. Not only did every lead she had for her top story wither and dry up before her eyes, but she had finally made the move to her new apartment. After several months of living with a wall full of bullet holes, she had decided it was time. That meant the constant stubbing of toes on boxes and the restless sleep that accompanied sleeping in a place that is not quite yet your own. To top everything off, tomorrow marked the 90th day without seeing or hearing anything from Frank Castle.

 Karen sighed and stretched out on her couch, taking a solid pull from her glass. Her apartment was awash in the light from the kitchen, but she was far enough from it that she sat in shadows, watching the moonlight creep across the living room floor. It was quiet in her apartment, but outside the window she heard the normal hustle and bustle of Hell’s Kitchen, even at the late hour. It had been 90 days since that horrible, terrifying day in the hotel. A shiver ran down her spine when she remembered seeing Lewis’ blood splattered across the door, as much as she was glad he was gone. Karen had been through a lot since moving to New York, but one finger twitch from being blown to smithereens has certainly done a number on her nerves. She had been especially grateful for Frank that day, and even more so that he knew more about claymores than the typical man. Her thoughts turned to the moment in the elevator with Frank, and she felt worry wash over her, just as it did every time she thought of him that day.

 He’d been covered in more blood than he was clean. His eyes had been wide, but not of fear. More of the intense need for survival, to get out clean, to make sure that she wasn’t hurt. She remembered the way he had looked at her, leaning forward to touch his forehead to hers. She didn’t know if it was the adrenaline in her system or if she was just imagining things, but for the briefest of moments she could have sworn he was going to—

 Karen scoffed and shook her head, pouring herself another drink. She couldn’t let herself think about that anymore. It had been three months and while she knew Frank was alive (thanks to Micro—or David—or whatever he wanted to be called) his priority was obviously not seeing her. She forced the bitterness down and leaned her head against the arm of the couch, sagging into the cushions. It wasn’t long until the drinks and silence lulled her to sleep.

 --

 It was early in the morning when she heard a noise that forced her eyes open. The kitchen light was still on, and the moon was still shining through the open window. The bottle of bourbon looked much emptier than the remembered, which may have explained why the room was spinning. Karen’s eyes swept the room, squinting through the darkness as she slowly sat up. Her eyes moved to the window again and her spine stiffened in fear.

 Open window.

 She never opened the window.

 Almost immediately she shot up, adrenaline sobering her, and reached for her purse on the table. She still had the gun from Fisk’s man and she whipped it out, holding it out to the darkness. “Listen,” she said hoarsely, and cleared her throat, “whoever you are, get the fuck out of my apartment!”

 The soft laughter from the dark hallway stopped her in her tracks.

“Attagirl,” came the familiar phrase.

 “Frank?” she whispered, eyes widening in shock when he stepped into the soft moonlight. He smiled crookedly at her, gesturing at her gun.

 “Gonna put that thing away before someone gets hurt?” he chuckled, but there was an edge to his voice that she couldn’t place. He switched the light on, temporarily blinding her, as she lowered the gun and switched on the safety.

 “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” she hissed when her eyes focused on him. He looked-…well, he looked good. Better than she’s ever seen him. He had one black eye but other than that he was clean-shaven, his hair had begun to grow out and most importantly, he wasn’t bleeding. Her question came out a little more venomous than she’d like, but her heart was pounding and the adrenaline was causing her to feel sick. Or maybe that was the alcohol. Either way, she dropped back onto the couch, placing her hands over her face.

 A moment later, the cushion next to her sunk slightly and she felt the reassuring warmth of his body next to her. He cleared his throat awkwardly, and she turned her head to look at him in exasperation. Those brown eyes seemed to be staring straight through her. He was in a blank long sleeved shirt that strained against his arms, and his normal khakis.

 “Three months, Frank, and you come in through the window like Edward from Twilight. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?” she asked, half frustrated and honestly, half relieved. She was beginning to think he’d left for good.

 Thankfully, he looked a little ashamed. He did that little sway he did when he was turning words over in his head, thinking of what to say next. She sighed and stood up, grabbing another glass from the kitchen and pouring them both a drink. “I didn’t know if you’d have me,” he said finally after taking a sip.

 “Frank.” Karen said, rolling her eyes. She felt the alcohol hitting her again. “That is some bullshit, if you don’t mind me saying.”

 Frank frowned at her, annoyance creasing around his eyes. “What’re you talkin’ about, ma’am?”

 “You,” she said in the voice of someone who had most definitely been drinking, while poking him in the chest, “may be the Punisher, but you are also a bullshitter.”

 The absurdity of her situation hit her then, and Karen let out a laugh. She knew a lot had to do with the relief coursing through her system, and the bourbon warming her belly, and the come down from the adrenaline, but she felt lighter than she had in months. “Fuck,” she laughed, “the Punisher just climbed through my window, and I’m cursing him out.”

 Franks lips twitched upwards so quickly that it was gone the moment she blinked. “That funny to you?” he asked quietly, putting his glass on the coffee table. He had a strange look on his face, a shadow of the look he gave her in the elevator that day.

 Karen’s laughter trailed off as she set her glass down, and she sighed. “Look, Frank, do you want me to forgive you? Is that what you want? Because fine, you’re forgiven. I don’t know where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing, but I haven’t heard from you in months and thank God for Micro or I would have had to assume you died, since you know the last time I saw you was in that elevator. And you know Frank, you know what? You didn’t look too good then. You absolutely could have died.” She’s gotten a little hysterical now, and her eyes were starting to get misty like they did when she was overcome by emotion. She’d always been a crier, and this was no exception.  

 Frank, for his part, had become a statue. He was watching her tirade with wide eyes, shoulders tensed. The only indication he was still breathing was the rapid tapping on his trigger finger on his thigh and his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

 After a minute more, Karen felt two hands grip her arms gently, and suddenly she was encased in Frank’s arms. He pressed her gently to him, almost like he was waiting for her to explode at the movement. Almost immediately she sunk into his embrace, burying her tear-stricken face into his shirt. He smelled like gun oil and cheap soap, but the smell was comforting and calmed her.

 “I know,” he whispered into the crown of her head. “’m sorry, I wanted to give you a chance to get away from me. I wanted you to--to move on from me. I’m bad news, Page. I was hopin’ you’d realize that.”

 Karen pushed him away angrily. “That’s not for you to decide, Frank Castle!” she snapped angrily, then threw caution to the wind and grabbed him by his collar, yanking his lips down to hers.

 Frank tasted different than she imagined. He tasted like the first real wind of winter. He tasted like iron and a hint of bourbon. His mouth was soft, tentative on hers as she moved into his space once again. His entire body seemed to radiate a heat that pierced her skin. His hands came up and touched either side of her face, then trailed down to her shoulders and pushed gently.

 Karen moved back and looked away, biting her lip. Retrospectively, she realized this might have pushed him to far. Obviously after three months he wasn’t expecting her like this: threatening, angry, crying, and now kissing him. Embarrassed tears gathered in her eyes and she dashed at them with her sleeve quickly. She would not make herself out to be any more of a fool than she already had.

 “Hey, uh,” Frank swallowed thickly, wiping a stray tear with the pad of his thumb. “Look Karen. I’m sorry, that I, y’know, did this to you. I never wanted to see you upset. And, hey—“ Frank lifted her chin so she could look into his eyes. They were soft, but something in them burned through her all the way down to her toes. “I want this,” he told her softly, “but not like this.”

 Karen heart stopped in her chest, then exploded into a frenzy. “What?” she breathed, shocked.

 Frank leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, chuckling softly. “You’re drunk,” he informed her, like he was telling her the weather. It had been a long time since she’d seen him laugh that way, so softly she could have missed it. “We can have this conversation when you’re sober.”

 Karen reached out to catch his sleeve before he could stand. He looked at her, raising a brow questioningly.

 “Will you stay? I promise I won’t kiss you again tonight.”

 This time he laughed, a full laugh that warmed her from the inside out. He smiled at her and nodded, and there was a promise in his eyes.

 “Yeah, Kar, I’ll stay.”

[askmyboys]

Asmodeus and Jimmy

First n foremost, I nEED to update this blog more often than I do ugh- but here’s two babs I made based off of sims and there is a trigger warning down there somewhere highlighted in HUGE bold text before it goes any further so please keep it in mind

| Names: Asmodeus Kosmos and Jimmy Vulcan

| Nicknames: Asmo/Kos and Jim/Vul (sometimes Jimmy likes to mess with Asmodeus and calls him momo)

| Genders: Trans FTM

| Sexualities: Asmo is gay while Jimmy is Pan

| Ages: Unknown

| Heights: Asmodeus is 7'5" while Jimmy is 5'3"

| Species/Race: Asmodeus is a demon and Jimmy is a human

| Skin Colors/Body Types: Asmodeus's skin is red and he's pretty muscular and Jimmy is fairly pale and much more chubby

| Eye Colors/Hair Colors: Asmodeus's eyes are pitch black and his hair is also black (hairstyle is: Greaser Style) and Jimmy’s eyes are a Baby Blue color (his hairstyle is really just a Manbun)

| Appearances: Asmodeus wears a Red and Black flannel with a simple black t-shirt underneath, he also wears black ripped jeans and some black multi buckle punk boots, he also has a black collar with some spikes on it he wears as well, and finally he wears some gauges. He has large pointy ears, razor sharp bear trap teeth, and a few scars here and there but nothing too severe it seems, he also has large black claws and some large black devil-esque horns and a black devil style tail (he doesn’t bother disguising himself bc he literally just does not care in the slightest, if he didn’t like the looks of his punk esque clothing he’d even keep his hooves n fur to look even more inhuman)

Jimmy wears a black and white striped suit (the white stripes are v e r y thin) with matching pants as well and some black business shoes, he also has glasses as well not for the look just bc he literally needs them to properly see anything, his outfit isn’t too spectacular or out of the ordinary but he does have a few strange scars on himself and his wrist (before conclusions are jumped too, no, it was not an intended self harm scar, he did do it for an ENTIRELY different reason and you’ll see why soon)  (oh and I almost forgot like a dumbass, Asmo is Trans thanks to his demon magic- he gave himself the body he wanted and Jimmy of course being a human, this was before he even got to meet Asmo anyways got the surgeries/took the T and all he needed and wanted ya know?)

Oh yeah and btw they both have short boxed beards.

| Personalities: Asmodeus isn’t the most… friendly neither to demons nor humans, in fact, he’s actually a cannibal- he’ll eat his own kind but he’ll also eat humans as well, he’s VERY mischievous and loves to cause trouble and pull pranks and terrify people, he’s always hated his own kind and humans both however… There IS one human he actually likes to be around and stick with, which of course at first it wasn’t that way but I’ll explain that in a bit, he’s pretty cold n cruel towards others, he’s often hungry so he feeds himself quite a lot much to a certain human’s dismay bc he’d really rather things lay low n such but lmao that’s not gonna happen fuck that, Asmo does p much what he wants WHEN he wants to and there ain’t a damn thing anybody can do about it- he truly is p much a rebel.

Onto Jimmy… Jimmy is much more kindhearted and sweeter, he’s not exactly the best with people due to a lot of anxiety and social anxiety so usually he doesn’t hang out in large gatherings and such as that, he usually spends a lot of time in his own room playing some games in his free time but usually he’s writing and working on multiple stories, now if it wasn’t obvious enough as it was, Jimmy is the human I was referring to earlier, him and Asmo live together and I’ll explain why in the side facts but for now, Jimmy’s goal is to one day became a famous author even tho he knows dealing with people and crowds will be tricky, he knows it’d be worth it in the end for sure… Absolutely LOVES animals of any kind, dogs, cats, rats, hamsters, etc you name an animal and he loves them so much he’s too scared however of Asmo eating said animals to bring one into the house unfortunately.

Jimmy loves reading as well, he’s an absolute bookworm and I’m not saying this bc he’s a writer or reads or shit like that but he genuinely is a geek, he’s a complete dork but we love him anyway I’m sure after all… Havin’ a problem with Jimmy is a death sentence with Asmodeus around.

(tl;dr: Asmo is cruel, cold, evil essentially and also a cannibal he’ll eat his own demon kind and he’ll even eat human kind, he’s VERY gluttonous so it’s hard to fill him up most of the time he can just never be satisfied, he does care about one and ONLY one human and that of course is Jimmy obviously, nobody touches or bothers Jimmy with Asmo around, he hates other humans and demons alike however, loves causing mischief and mayhem, pulling pranks, and scaring the hell out of people, always hated his own kind

Jimmy however is much more friendlier, kinder and a sweetheart, however his anxieties both social and regular anxiety gets in his way a lot so he can’t handle people and a LOT of situations tbh, he LOVES writing and hopes to one day become a famous author even if he has to deal with people he knows its worth it, loves to read as well, he’s a geek/dork and lovable as ever, 100% LOVE. FOR. ANIMALS. You let this man see a fucking puppy or hell even a baby rat and he will break down in tears bc its so damn cute, he’ll cry even worse if you let him hold a puppy or somethin like that)

| Side Facts: This is gon be a long one now… so woo boy… Jimmy despite sounding like an average normal human being p much, he’s had a very dark secret… Jimmy was actually supposed to be a cult leader at some point, however for reasons unknown that little thing didn’t work out which he is actually relatively relieved of bc truth be told he wanted no part of a cult in the slightest, that didn’t stop him from being curious about demons and such as that however… There was one demon in particular he had heard them mention quite often and it’s yep, you guessed it! Asmodeus Kosmos… His curiosity had admittedly gotten the better of him so he did some research and… 

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(Trigger Warning!!! For blood, ritual esque themes, demon summoning of course annnnd p much him cutting his wrist for said ritual so if that bothers you please don’t read any further into it)

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Jimmy grabbed the supplies he needed, it was pretty basic stuff such as candles, drawing an upside down pentagram, etc- he then grabbed his knife and slit his wrist, letting his blood flow out into a chalice p much and at first he thought this was the worst decision he ever made and besides nothing even happened so now he’s going to have a scar on his wrist and have to deal with lots of blood but before he could even move to go grab a towel, lo and behold… There was a bright red light and then out popped Asmodeus from the pentagram who immediately grabbed the chalice and rather greedily began slurping up the blood inside, after finishing his little… drink… He looked over at Jimmy who was honestly very mortified right about now and p much grinned at him like “Yooo! What did a lil fella like yourself summon a demon like ME for?” Asmo was definitely… shocked like… really? THIS is what summons him? Jimmy looked like any ol regular human! Nothin special! Just another snack!

And that was when Jimmy realized… He didn’t actually know why he summoned this demon, he had no reason other than curiosity and then an even worse realization of this demon is going to be absolutely. Fucking. P i s s e d. He was lowkey freaking out, before he could even think of the proper response, he just blurted out “Uhh… C-Curiosity…?” which made Asmo’s expression drop a lil, it was more so one of confusion than anger “...Ya know, normal demons woulda been pissed but lemme tell ya somethin’ I ain’t no normal demon and I gotta admit… Outta all the human blood I’ve had, yours by far has been the fuckin’ b e s t tastin’ blood e v e r! Dunno what’cha did bud but ya definitely did somethin’ right! Well, for me at least, for you uh well not so much” Asmo definitely made ill intentions clear to Jimmy by flashing some sharp teeth (this is turning into an actual story now shit uh just roll with it and for fucks sake why can I write better when im not even trying to do an actual story?!)

Asmo of course barely gave him any time before walking over and casually grabbing his wrist, he licked the wound clean much to Jimmy’s dismay… Could demon saliva cause an infection? He didn’t exactly want to find out but it was too late now, Asmo didn’t notice the terror humans usually had for him so maybe this guy didn’t read the fine print or somethin’... “Uhh ya do realize like, I’m gonna eat’cha now right? Did you even, like, r e a d the smaller text in the books? Or did they cut that part out just hopin’ some poor soul would get devoured?” before Asmo could take a chunk out of Jimmy he quickly began to speak “Wait! I’ll… I’ll make a deal with you!” Asmo being the lil trickster that he was couldn’t r e s i s t… “Ooh… What kinda deal we talkin’ ‘ere pipsqueak?” Jimmy didn’t even know what he was saying, he just blurted the next few parts “What if I like… Help you? With, uh, the eating thing?” Asmo of course couldn’t believe his ears, he deadpanned “Ya serious? Ya gonna help me, get other humans who are basically gonna become my meal? JUST to protect yourself?” and there was a pause but before Jimmy could rephrase his question it was too late, Asmodeus grabbed his hand and shook it “You my friend have got yaself a dealio! I’ll spare ya, but uh, I expect a meal v e r y soon~” of course, now Jimmy was completely fucked… Now he had to keep this demon fed because a deal was made and he couldn’t break it or else he’d be the one eaten… And of course not to mention breaking a deal with a literal demon is not the best thing to do in any universe…

Over time of course though… Jimmy had actually begun to bond with Asmodeus, despite all the people he devoured over time… Other than his harsh exterior, rude behavior and pranks n scaring others n stuff… Asmodeus has become much nicer and kinder to him… And even opened up more to him, he knows he can’t change Asmodeus’ ways and get him to stop eating others unfortunately but… After all the time these two have spent together, all the chatting, and even all the flirting (mostly Asmo has done that to Jimmy) they have not only become best friends with each other but in fact, maybe there’s something… More going on there. Aka their dating by now, they actually love one another very much and now? Asmo could never e v e r even dream of eating Jimmy, he’s… actually even scared if he grows too hungry around Jimmy he could accidentally hurt the human… And he’d never want that now, he’d rather himself be locked away and chained up than hurt Jimmy and truth be told… Jimmy is the only being that’s ever been actually nice and kind to Asmo, even after basically threatening him at the start and kinda tormenting him with his pranks, his teasing, and scaring he was still so nice and warm towards him… He was also rather pleased to find out that not only was Jimmy not straight but also ayyy Trans Buddies!!!

[rfsak2]

Cactus, Part IV

I hope you like it!

Cactus, Part IV Summary: Damn if he didn’t know what he was doing. Harry/Jamie Warnings: Talking about past tramas. Hopefully nothing too triggering though.

Mitch sipped his cocktail and hit her thigh with the back of his hand. She jumped a bit, pleasantly buzzed on a mixture of whiskey and Harry, and said man grumbled from where he leaned against her, prickly cheek against her forehead.

“What about you, Jamie-Wamie? Any great stories from your extensive tenure in the music industry?”

“You get verbose when you’re drunk, Mitchy-moo.” She grinned, one hand idly carding through the hair at the nape of Harry’s neck.

Jeff grinned. “Oooh… verbose. Big word.”

“Thanks. Took a lotta doin’ to educate the white trash outta me.”

Harry chuckled against her hair. “I think yeh sound very educated, love.”

“Thanks, Haz.”

Mitch smiled against his glass. “No, but I’m serious. You’ve been doin’ this for a while now..”

“Now you’re callin’ me old?”

Harry snorted. “Yer like twenty-two. Tell a story, girl!”

“Okay.. Okay.” She sighed. “Lessee… One time, I walked in on the drummer from a band I was working with doing lines of coke off a prostitute’s breasts.”

Harry stiffened beside her and Mitch breathed out a shocked ‘fuck’.

Jeff nodded with a small smile, sitting across the table. “I remember you telling me about that. You were what…. Eighteen?”

“Sixteen.” She let out a breathless little chuckle.

Harry straightened suddenly. “Wha? Sixteen? Wha’ happened?”

She shrugged. “He’s just casually doin’ lines, the prostitute was moaning like.. Well, she was moaning and I just say ‘hi’.” She paused and rub soothingly at Harry’s shoulder. “He grins, but then if the number of little, plastic bags on the floor are to be taken at face value, he’d probably done 200 bucks in blow so I’m not sure he really knew what was goin’ on anyhow. I’m just frozen. I had no idea what to do. He grins and waves me over. ‘Ya want some?’ I stutter out, ‘No, sir’ and grab my guitar and run.”

Jeff huffed. “This business, man.”

“It gets better… or worse. I had a supervisor, I guess he’d be called… He was the one I ‘reported’ to with the label as far as the government was concerned. I went to him to tell him that this happened. I mean it’s illegal, right? And dangerous, he could’ve OD’d or… Like fifteen different scenarios had run through my mind by that point. Anyway, he just laughs, calls me a prude and then quirks my chin like I’m just some silly, little girl. Tells me to toughen up.”

She smiled. “Then he sends me back to the studio, because if I’m so worried then I should go check up on him. Make sure he don’t OD.” Harry made a noise deep in his chest and gathered her against his side.

“I hesitate as one would expect and he asks me if ‘it was going to be a problem?’” She smiled at Mitch. “I say ‘no’ and go and check up on him, because I really was worried. He’s passed out and the lady is gone. I call my boss and he says to just turn him on his side so he doesn’t choke.” She sneered. “‘We’ll cancel work today. See you tomorrow. Go get a pedicure or whatever it is broads like you do.’ I just stood there and stared down at him for a solid hour, trying to figure out if I should call the cops.”

“But you didn’t.” Jeff wet his lips. “Call the cops I mean.”

She shook her head. “No, of course not. How could I? And flush every dream I had ever had down the toilet? Get myself in some deep shit with a label that literally owns me and my music?  I could only imagine what they’d do to keep that shit quiet.” She sipped her whiskey. “Anyways, I’m apparently maudlin when I’ve had too much to drink. Sorry for being a buzzkill. Jeff probably has better...funnier stories than I do.”

The conversation took a turn and she quieted, relaxing back against the couch. Harry sighed. “Tha’s mad, monster.”

She smiled and settled against his chest. “I definitely was. But then you’ve probably seen as much as me. This industry doesn’t let people stay young for very long.”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair.” He sighed and favored her with a crooked smile. “The album is done…”

She smiled. “And now, the end is near…”

He grinned. “And so I face the final curtain.” He chuckled. “Yeh have a lovely singing voice, love.”

She shrugged.

“Yeh should tour wi’ us.” She breathed deep and Harry booped her nose. “Yeh thought I’d forget, didn’t yeh, love?”

She smiled. “I was hopin’ so, yeah? Don’t like disappointin’ people.”

“Then don’t.” He pulled back and caught her eye. “Look… I don’t want this to be the end of this-” He motioned between them “-I know it doesn’t have to be and ‘course, I have no intention of ending it because yeh say no, please know tha’. But it will get harder when I tour. I just want t’spend time wi’ yeh and I wanna keep makin’ music wi’ yeh.”

“I don’t want this to end, either.” She smiled and shifted so she was sort of half in his lap, one hand coming up to run a thumb over his chin. “But, Harry, I really… I shouldn’t.”

“Why?” He shrugged. “I know yer probably too talented for it-”

She shot him a look. “That’d be a real bitchy thing for me to think.”

He winced. “I don’t mean it like that...Obviously.”

“Why do you think it is that I don’t tour?”

“I assume it’s because yeh only tour when it’s something ye’re proud of.”

She smiled and grabbed his face, staring him down. “I don’t tour for a reason.. A reason I may one day tell you, but I’ve been a bit too much of a downer today as it is, so not tonight. I can tell you that it has nothing to do with being proud or not being proud. I love what we’ve done here. I really do. Aside from having more fun then I have had in years, I am immensely pleased with how your album turned out and I’m proud to have worked on it.”

He nodded, eyes on hers. “Okay… I have an idea.” He grinned. “Do th’promo performances wi’ us. Be there for tha’ and we’ll shelve the tour shite for a later conversation.”

She sighed around a smile.

He smiled broadly, dimple appearing. “Please, love. Yer such a fantastic guitarist and I want te share it wi’ yeh.”

“Alright. Fine.” She pressed a pert kiss to his cheek. “That dimple can get you whatever you want, honestly.”

**

“No I dig it, babe.” She traced one of the big black buttons on his romper with the tip of her finger. “It...it works for me. It really does.”

Almost absentmindedly, she licked her lips and Harry sucked in a breath. “Tha’s no’ fair, love.”

“Hmm?” She didn’t look up and he really didn’t think she was aware that she was doing it. “What was that, Haz?”

He leaned into her space, fingering the gold lace of her skirt. “Yeh shouldn’t lick yer lips like that when yeh look so pretty. ‘S no’ fair, love.”

She blushed, hand flattening against his ribcage. “Oh!... Sorry.”

“Yeh haven’t put lippy on yeah?”

She frowned. “What the fuck is lippy?”

He grinned and decided to test for himself.

She hadn’t.

She gasped into his mouth and he wrapped an arm around her waist, lifting her into the kiss. “Pretty little thing, aren’yeh?”

“Shit.” She laughed against his mouth. “Who’s not being fair now?”

He chuckled and leaned in for another kiss. Someone knocked on the door and he just managed to stifle the groan.

They stepped away from each other and she coughed. “Yeah? What’s up?”

Jeffrey popped his head in. He glanced between the two of them. “Really?”

Harry flicked him off. “Can we assist yeh?”

Jeffrey stuck his tongue out. “No, I don’t need yeh. I need your girl. Jamie-Wamie, you or Mitch for solo?”

“It’s Mitch.”

“Okay we’ll set Mitch closer to center and then you next to him, yeah?”

“Base in the back?” She nodded. “That should work. What do their sound guys say the acoustics are like?”

“That’s how they said they preferred to do it.”

“Sounds good to me.” He left, closing the door behind him, and she chuckled. “I pretty sure he just wanted to interrupt. He didn’t me to answer any of those questions.”

Harry nodded and leaned in to kiss her again. “It’s probably for the best. Can’t get to worked up just yet.”

She smiled. “I need to put lippy on.”

“Not yet.” He kissed her once more and then set his hands on her shoulder. “There now.”

He was phenomenal.

It was silly to feel so damn proud of someone who’d been doing this and doing it well for seven years, but she was so bloody proud.

There was so much joy in every bounce and pace. He was energetic and charismatic and the crowd was feeling him and he was feeling the crowd.

She was feeling him and his damn romper. He just looked so good.

Every time he turned her way, his smile was wide and contagious and she just couldn’t help returning it.

She had to admit, he knew what he was doing when he asked for her to do this with him. She honestly couldn’t see herself doing anything else right now.

She couldn’t miss this and have to live with the regret for the rest of her life.

**

He held the door for her and motioned her into the restaurant. “M’lady.”

She stuck her tongue out.

“Not very lady-like.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes as she indicated to the hostess that they needed a table for two.

The girl gaped, but nodded. “Yeah, course.”

She led them to a table, glancing back at Harry every once and awhile on their way through the crowded restaurant. Harry, for his part, pretended to not notice that everyone’s eyes were on him, his hand firm in the small of her back.

When the girl had left, Jamie smiled. “Everyone is so aware of you. Are you sure that you don’t want to go somewhere quieter?”

He shook his head, looking down at the menu. “Yeh said this place reminded you of home. ‘My favorite restaurant in LA, Haz,’ yeh said.”

She nodded and did the same. “Right then.”

“It’ll be the same no matter where we go. This is just how it is.” He glanced up. “Does it bother yeh?”

She shrugged. “I don’t think so. If it doesn’t bother you-”

He snorted. “It does bother me, of course it does, but I’m not going to hide away and I’m not going to act like I’m ashamed of myself or of yeh.” He looked up and she was smiling at him. “Wha’?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

He grinned, blushing. “Wha’ do yeh ge’ here, monster?”

“Fajitas usually. That’s true Tex-Mex there.”

“Wanna share, then?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Wanna share a coronarita?” He grimaced. “That sounds...interestin’.”

She made a face. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear you say that.”

He laughed. “Why?”

“Corona? Really, baby? If we gonna go Mexican beer, it can’t be that. It tastes like piss.”

“Can I get you two some drinks?”

The waiter smiled a bit too broadly. He’d obviously been sent out to avoid the inevitable catfight over who would wait on Harry fucking Styles.

She smiled. “D’ya have Victoria on draft?” The waiter nodded. “Two of those, please and some water.”

“Sure. I’ll be back with those and some chips and salsa for you.”

“Thanks, mate.” Harry grinned at her. “You look beautiful tonight.”

She scoffed. “I didn’t even bother to put my contacts in today and my hair is stiff with hairspray from last night.”

He shrugged. “Big hair, don’t care and I like you in your specs. You’re cute, plus you have a hickey just there.” He poked at her collarbone.

She started and attempted to pull at her shirt. “Harry! You didn’t tell me!”

“How did yeh miss it, love? It’s dark.” He grinned. “It’s alright. I like my marks on yeh.”

She blushed, but didn’t say anything, waiting for their approaching waiter to set down their drinks and take their order. “You’re oddly okay with this. Shouldn’t you be more worried about the media gettin’ wind of all this?”

“What? Of us?” He shook his head. “If they do, they do. As long as they don’t run yeh off, I’m not sure I care anymore. They’re gonna do it anyway, right? Normally with women I’ve never even bloody met. If they’re gonna do it, I’d prefer for it to be real. I’d prefer it to be with someone I am fond of, someone I want to be in a relationship with.”

She beamed. “I don’t think they could beat me off with a stick.”

He threw his head back against the booth. “They shouldn’t do tha’ either, love.”

She sipped her beer. “So is this…” She winced. “I don’t know how to say it.”

He grinned, munching on a chip. “I want yeh. I’ve wanted yeh since I met you last year, love. Committed Relationship or Secret Lovers. As long as I have yeh, I don’t care. Whatever yeh want.”

“You can have whatever you like.”

He laughed. “What d’yeh say, monster? What is this?”

“I say Committed Relationship. You?”

“You can have whatever you like.” He smiled. “Yeh’ve always been m’girl, y’know tha’, yeah? Up here,” he tapped his temple, “whenever I thought about yeh, yeh were my girl.”

She blushed. “Same here, pretty boy. I was all in from day one.”

“Good.” He leaned over the table and kissed her, aware that someone was likely taking a photo.

Their food came and she grinned at Harry as he gaped, watching her throw a couple jalapenos onto her fajita. “That’s intense.”

She snorted. “No what’s intense is that that girl over there is definitely snapchatting this. If we’re lucky her friends aren’t saving it.”

He sighed. “Are yeh okay?”

She shrugged. “I’m okay with you. I don’t particularly like feeling like I’m being watched, but I’ll deal with it for you, because I’m okay with you.”

“Is that why you don’t tour?” He winced. “I mean because you don’t like being watched?”

She froze, fajita half-way in her mouth, before forcing herself to relax. “No. I mean I like performing as much as anyone else.”

“Wha’ happened?” He stilled, almost as if he was forgetting to breathe. “Yeh don’t have to say if yeh don’t wan’ te. Sorry. Dun mean t’make yeh feel uncomfortable, love.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I wanted to tell you anyways really.” She smiled. “But first I want you to know that I had so much fun doing the promo stuff. I’m glad you convinced me to do it and if the offer is still available, I’d love to tour with you.”

He sighed in relief, hand over his heart. “Thank God. Of course it is.” He reached for her hand. “Now what happened, love? I have a feeling that it wasn’t pleasant.”

She sighed. “My parents weren’t comfortable with me going on tour until I had turned eighteen for obvious reasons and even then they still weren’t really comfortable, but when the band that I had been working with that summer asked me to tour with them, I jumped at the chance. I was going to be a background guitarist, nothing flashy, for the opening act, but I was so excited. I was going to be going on my first tour, I’d be getting some great experience and I really thought that I was going to have fun.”

She sipped her beer and Harry felt a pit in his stomach.

“The first ten shows, we’ll say, they were fine. I was having fun, I clicked with the band, and I got to have all these little jam sessions with the guitarists from both bands. I was learning so much. I learned to play Voodoo Child on that tour, in fact. Then one day, the tour was in Austin and my family came up to see me. I had gone out to dinner with my family and I returned to the hotel we were in late. I…” She smiled and took a deep breath, Harry squeezed her hand.

“I had to walk past the pool.. spa thing to get to the stairs. The lead singer of the main band must have seen me. He...uh… he grabbed and he tried to drag me into the changing rooms, but he didn’t know that my brother, Ryan and my father were following me in. I was running up to grab something from my room for them to take back home with them. Ryan saw me get pulled into the door and he has...had anger issues back then, he’s a lot better now. You can imagine. I had just managed to jump away from him when Ryan bursted through the door. If he had still had his hands on me when Ryan got there, Ryan’d probably be in prison.”

“Fuck.” He pressed a lingering kiss to her hand. “I… Shit I wish I hadn’t asked, baby. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I wanted to tell you.” She covered his hand with her free hand. “I stayed on the tour. My parents didn’t want me to obviously and Ryan was livid that I would even consider it but I wanted it so bad and I was so stubborn. I just I couldn’t let it go, but then the rest of the tour was miserable. I chose to keep it quiet. I think the singer thought I didn’t say anything because I was ashamed.. or afraid. I managed to convince myself that I just didn’t want him to be able to take it away from me. Anyways, he kept trying to corner me. The drummer from the opener started to notice. He’s a nice guy. I’d say four shows after the pool incident, he pinned the lead singer to a wall and threatened him.”

“Good.”

“‘She’s barely eighteen, ya disgustin’ old fuck. Ya-’ He’s from Boston, I think- ‘Ya touch her again, I kick ya dentures down ya throat and make you beg for her forgiveness. If she don’t want ta forgive ya, Imma bury you in so much litigation you’ll owe ever’thin’ to ya lawyers.’” She smiled. “At the end of that tour, I was pretty happy to never have to tour ever again. I tour with my band, because they’re my brothers, literally and figuratively and I trust them.”

He nodded. “Yeh don’t have to tour with us, I promise. Yeh can say no.”

“I know.” She kissed his knuckle. “I know. That’s why I want to do it. I trust y’all. I trust you and I want to share this with you. Besides I can’t afford to miss the possibility of you wearing that romper again.”

“You liked it then?” He grinned slow around his glass.

“You don’t even know.”

Part III Up Next: Part V

[theunfamilliarmatter]

Some Thoughts on Nesta’s and Feyre’s Relationship

I hate Nesta in ACOTAR and ACOMAF. After reading ACOWAR, I was still on a fence about her. In fact, I felt kinda uneasy when someone expresses his/her love towards her, cause I still couldn’t forgive Nesta for how she treated Feyre (she has layers, sure, but I still couldn’t not dislike her).

BUT, i’ve thought about her a lot these days and found that she really grew on me and I felt like I was wrong for refusing to see other parts of her. In this post, I am going to compile all the moments that changed my opinion on Nesta and her relationship with Feyre for the better.

Nesta is very proud, that much is clear. She also has the tendency to turn a blind eye towards something she didn’t like or she’s not affected by personally (more about this later on). I think, when it comes to Feyre, Nesta just wanted to reach out to her but doesn’t know how. Nesta also showed a great deal of respect towards her sister, and, sometimes, be inspired by her. Don’t you ever tell me that Nesta doesn’t love and care about Feyre as much as she does Elain. She just have a different dynamic with Feyre.

ACOTAR

1. When Feyre asked her to cut some woods or sth, Nesta refused. But, the next morning, Feyre found out that Nesta has cut some woods, anyway. This, to me, is the first inkling on Nesta’s internal conflict between her pride and vulnerability. 

2. Nesta made a hurtful remark about Feyre’s “masterpieces”. I hated Nesta for using sth that meant a lot to her sister to, tho not deliberately, hurt her. However, let’s not forget that, the first time Feyre went back from the Spring Court, Nesta asked Feyre to TEACH her how to paint. This is important. I don’t think that Nesta had a particular interest in painting. I think that she was aware of the hurtful comment she directed at Feyre and wanted to let Feyre know that she didn’t mean it, that she didn’t actually belittle her skill. She wanted to let Feyre know that, in fact, she thought Feyre is good enough that she wanted to be taught by her.

3. Nesta went to the wall to look for Feyre. This is already a strong proof of Nesta’s quiet love for Feyre. However, this passage further confirmed it :

“What happened to Tomas Mandray?” I asked, the words strangled.

“I realized he wouldn’t have gone with me to save you from Prythian.”

Nesta never loved Tomas, I know, but at the beginning, she was very adamant about marrying him, even after Feyre told her over and over again to not marry him (cause Nesta hates feeling like a burden and she wanted to get out of the house and took care of herself). Anyway, one would think that her breaking up with Tomas isn’t about Feyre at all, that she was only doing it because she was worried that, comes a time when Elain needs help, Tomas wouldn’t help her. But, if that were the case, Nesta would not have broken up with Tomas right then and there. She would have just went back, and broke up with Tomas only when he wouldn’t help Elain. However, what actually happened next showed that Feyre meant as much to her as Elain.

4. Nesta talked to Feyre about her complete disappointment towards their father, she said,

“He let her die. You would have gone to the ends of the earth to save your High Lord.”

I always have a feeling that Nesta understood Feyre more than she let on ; this quote is one of the inklings that I got. 

5. “What do you think you can even do to help? He’s a High Lord—you’re just a human.” That wasn’t an insult, either. A question from a coolly calculating mind.

This is how Nesta showed her concern. She did the same thing in ACOWAR.

6. “But Nesta held my gaze. Unflinching.”

…

“Prythian!” my father and Elain blurted. But Nesta held up a hand to silence them.

…

My sister helped me, then opened the wardrobe to pull out a heavy tunic and pants and boots. I slipped into them and was braiding back my hair when she said, “We don’t need you here, Feyre. Do not look back.”

What this whole scene showed me is that Nesta respected Feyre and has always been aware of her strength. Instead of holding Feyre back, she let her do what she wanted. The same thing happened in ACOWAR, when Feyre went to find the Suriel and Nesta didn’t tell anyone about it. She respected Feyre’s need to go unnoticed and she believe that Feyre really could do what she wanted to do.

This scene also showed that Nesta truly wanted to be there for her sister in her own way.

8. “Try to send word once it’s safe. And if it ever is … Father and Elain can have this place. I think I’d like to see what else is out there, what a woman might do with a fortune and a good name.”

Don’t ever tell me that Nesta didn’t care about Feyre. She was worried about Feyre, but she didn’t want to prevent Feyre from experiencing more than what their little village could offer.

9. Another detail i’d like to point out is that Nesta hired a mercenary to take her to the wall “With the money from [Feyre’s] pelt.” Before this, I thought that she just spent all the money Feyre gave her, but she actually saved them and used them to get to Feyre.

10. This one we all already know, but I’ll include it anyway.

“…If he would actually go out and fight for us. I couldn’t take care of us, not the way you did. I hated you for that. But I hated him more.”

ACOMAF

There wasn’t a lot of details about them in this book. However, I found one it the short story from the Target Edition.

“How is my sister?”

…

“Busy”

…

“So busy she cannot deign to visit, it seems”

This was the first thing she asks Cassian. Again, don’t you tell me Nesta didn’t care about Feyre or that she wanted nothing to do with her.

ACOWAR

1. Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre didn’t look comfortable with eating human food and Nesta made a curt comment about it? In Acowar, during dinner, Nesta said to Feyre that she know understood what she meant by food tasting differently. I see it as Nesta’s way of apologizing.

2. Of course, the scene in the library where Feyre asked Nesta why she pushed everyone away except Elain. Then Nesta closed her eyes and took a deep breath before starting to answer Feyre (THEN OF COURSE IT GOT INTERRUPTED). Nesta closing her eyes and breathing deeply before answering means sth to me. it tells me that she also hates how badly she has been treating Feyre. I NEED TO KNOW WHY. NOW.

Also, Nesta told Feyre how she didn’t know that Feyre really couldn’t read, “I thought you could read as well as we do”. She neglected Feyre during her hunting years, now she found out that she had no idea Feyre couldn’t read. I saw this as Nesta being upset for failing her sister again.

3. Before Feyre and the rest of the Night Court when to the Summer Court to fight with them, Nesta asked, “What do you know of battle?“.

4. That time when Nesta said to Feyre, “You look beautiful” before they went to the meeting with the High Lords. I love her ease in the way she conveyed it. Slowly, guys. She’s reaching out.

5.

Nesta was so riled up when Feyre asked her to talk to the HIgh Lords about what happened to her. However, in the end, she decided to brace herself and talk about her story because she didn’t wanna be remembered as a coward.

Nesta said : “It was some distant thing, war. Battle. It…it’s not anymore. i will help…if I can”

Then she also said : “You went off to battle for a court you barely know-who barely see you as friends…And when I asked you why…you said because it was the right thing”

Earlier, when I said Nesta has the tendency to turn a blind eye towards something she didn’t like or she’s not affected by personally, this is what I mean (Also, tho I can’t find the passage in the book, I swear Nesta said sth along the lines of “Isn’t there someone who could do it for me?”. I forgot what the conversation was about tho. You can even blame this side of her for neglecting Feyre all these years). Now that she’s in the midst of war, she decided to be involved and Feyre is the one that inspired her greatly to finally open up herself and be braver.

6. At the meeting with the High Lords.

“To be close to the Walls-and human lands”

At this, Nesta and I exchanged looks

Idk what else to say about this. it was just a nice moment worth mentioning.

7. “But beneath the wall, I witnessed children-entire families-starve to death”

She jerked her chin at me. “Were it not for my sister… I would be among them”

This is soooooo important. Nesta didn’t sweep Feyre’s sacrifices under the rug, okay? Again, she just didn’t know to to show Feyre how grateful she was.

8. Nesta told Feyre about her “cost” of being a fae : seeinng Elain suffered while she went unscathed. Also, she told Feyre she couldn’t get into bathtubs anymore because it triggered her memory. This was after Feyre to her about her fear of close spaces. Feyre has become someone Nesta could really confide in and I love that.

9. The night Elain got kidnapped. Feyre rushed out of the tent to look for Nesta.

“…she was already there, hurrying for me..”

It was Feyre she ran to first when she sensed that sth is wrong.

10. When Az, Feyre, Elain, and Briar arrived safely at the camp, Nesta SPRINTED towards Feyre FIRST, hugged her, and said “Thank you”.

11. DON’T FORGET THE ARCHERON SISTERS CUDDLE.

SO, GUYS. I do believe that Nesta loves, cares, respects Feyre and she has been trying to reach out to her and be there for her in her own way. This is really an interesting dynamic and I’m excited for what’s in store for them in the next book. 

I would like to reiterate that I hate the spiteful side of Nesta. When her father lost his fortune and couldn’t (or wouldn’t) take care of them, and after she and Elain was turned into Faes. I get that, especially the whole fae thing, it was a freaking difficult thing to deal with, but she was still awful to everyone. So, I am very aware of the terrible things she’s said and done. I don;t think she’s a saint or anything, but I want to see her redeem herself. I don’t even expect her to literally apologize to Feyre (that would be such a DRASTIC change), but I am hoping for more moments like these.

On a side note, I think Nesta’s dynamic with Elain has its flaws as well. I’m still not sure about this, and some of you might disagree. I feel like Nesta sees Elain as some fragile little flower. Her protectiveness towards Elain feels a bit much to me. She didn’t include Elain in the matter about Prythian in ACOMAF (In the short story with Cassian, we know that Nesta doesn’t want Elain to be involved). There are other details as well but I can’t remember now. Anyway, again, we’ll see what happens in the next book.

Overall, I can see how their relationship is taking shape now. I expect Nesta to continue to be very doting, gentle, and protective towards Elain. However, I think Feyre is gonna be the one that she confides it the most, that understands her better, that inspired her the most.

Tell me what you think. I would love to talk more about their relationship.