#i did such a good job of tagging every post and i dont feel like doing it all over again

[venelona]

Guess who's Instagram got deleted OUT OF NOWHERE. And I can't even message support about it because Instagram appears to have no ways of reaching them.

I wasn't on Instagram often, but I did have 5k followers there, and it was a very nice place for questions and answers. And now it deleted all of my work, and rampant art theft gonna go without any actual source to link back to.

Incredible.

First Tumblr nukes my secret frans santa blog, now Instagram destroys my WHOLE account... that's actually upsetting, yunno?

Idk. Maybe go give my twitter some loving before it also explodes when I turn away for like a second?..

[foxcassius]

wait also my tags on that post were about people i knew in freshman and sophomore year of college specifically. i mean some of them i knew after that and most of them i knew from high school but damn some people really made everything about themselves when i was being emotionally manipulated in my freshman year

[drdemonprince]

When other people say that they do not have enough time to get something done, they (often, if they're quite healthy) mean they are taking into account the time it takes to do the laundry and arrange new pieces of furniture and cook dinner and meet up with friends to see a movie and run to the post office or the hair dresser and take the dog for walks and do the dishes and paint their nails and drive to the store and go to their cousin's wedding and go to the barbecue their friend is throwing on the weekend

they don't winnow their life down to just spending time at the computer, working from when they wake up until they cannot focus their eyes anymore, granola bars, coffee, and bottles of water all around them because of course they did not take time to have lunch or breakfast, only dragging themselves away from work when they are truly too exhausted to do any of it anymore, and then lacking the energy to do much of anything that remains of life but to eat a tiny bit more, sponge themselves off, and go to sleep.

i just saw a video of a fursuiter on their bed, legs kicked back, head propped on their hands, delightedly announcing that after many years of hard work they had finally finished their Master's degree. And some part of me, some sick withered part, thought really? you had time to do a Master's degree while also getting a fursuit done? and going to conventions, presumably? you had time in the day to research fursuit makers, have a sona designed and drawn by someone else (or to draw it yourself), to contact a maker to make a duck tape dummy of yourself, and to have a friend over to help you make it and to cut it off of you, to send it in the mail to the maker, to then get it and make videos? you had time to set up this beautiful bedroom that i see in your video, with a soft pink sham on the bed and LED lights behind your bookshelf and lamps and all kinds of stuffed toys? you had a life? you were out playing, and dancing, and pursuing your hobbies, and you did a master's degree?

because when i was working on my doctorate, there was nothing. three layers of foam on the floor with a fitted sheet over it. a folding card table from aldi that had cost $40 that my grandparents got me. no food in the fridge. no time to even get the internet installed, just stolen wi-fi when my laptop could pick it up. i woke up, got dressed, and slunk into the office. i sat alone in the dark working until my hunger made me furious and i could not write another word. and then i walked to the grocery store, got something to subsist on, went home, ate, kickboxing video, went to sleep. every day. with almost nothing breaking the routine.

and ive gotten better, so much better, but my brain still kind of works that way. i feel like i have to quit my job and stop being a writer if i want to have hobbies. to paint my bedroom. to marinate a meat for longer than fifteen minutes. to get a driver's license again. to take a trip. but i dont want to be like that any more. how do people know when to stop? i feel like i have to give everything my absolute all until there is nothing left or else i have done nothing. i feel that i would have to treat a hobby like a job to get it done. I feel that anything that takes more than two minutes is a huge waste of time i must feel guilty for. i am working on all these things. jesus i have been working on them for years at this point. but because i have been so successful at telling people to do less, i get pulled in. interview. workshop invitation. email. urgent in the subject line. call from my agent. meeting request from my boss. new book idea, better sell it now while my sales figures still look good. recording studio session. deadline. writing. can you talk about this. can you talk about that. tag. email. book idea. deadline. long heartfelt email. still so often i have to take my own damn advice.

and this is why i am getting a fursuit made!! and going to cons! and going to leather and latex events! and making socials that are separate for these things!! i am going to let myself be silly and soft and do frivolous things. i am so sick of what i do to myself, all the pursuit of seeming like a strong mature adult.

[sunwarmed-ash]

WIP Thursday/[Sinful Sunday post??]

hey so im gonna be taking time off writing for another job all next week so I'm posting this so you have something to read. DONT WORRY Sinful Sunday will continue, I'll just be busy this sunday and next making that capitalist coin!

This may turn into a fic, it may not. I wrote it right after I finished QAF for the 36th time.

Tags: Angsty steddiegrove, sex work, HIV+ character, violence

"Where do you go at night?"

Steve and Eddie are lying on Steve’s bed smoking weed when Steve asks the question that will inevitably change the course of their relationship, their future, forever. 

"What," Eddie asks, trying and failing for aloof. He thought he had been so careful. 

“You sneak out, every night. Where do you go, when you leave?"

Lying is the only probable next course of action. If he wants to keep Steve in his life that is. The truth will sever everything they once had. 

“Dealing doesn’t exactly fit a normal 9-5," Eddie says. It’s a half-lie. 

"You were selling drugs in Lafayette at 3 in the morning? Do you think I’m stupid," Steve snaps.

Eddie’s entire body flashes hot with the amount of detail in that accusation.  

"What? No! Wait, how did you- hang on, have you been spying on me?"

"Answer the question Eddie!"

Eddie feels cornered, and that’s never a good place for him to be. Because when he feels trapped, he lies, and he can’t stop. He will say anything to cover his ass, even if its just to survive to see another minute. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."

Steve scoffs at Eddie’s attempt at self ownership. 

"Why can’t you tell me, Eddie? I mean, after everything we’ve been through!”

Eddie bites into his tongue. He wishes it was that easy. God, does he wish it could be that simple...  

“i can't, not with everything baby. I'm sorry.” 

“Why not?” Steve demands and now he’s angry. His eyes are lined with tears and Eddie can feel the beginning of the end coming like an approaching storm. 

“Because you won't love me anymore.” 

It’s the truth. And Eddie hates to even hear the words out loud. Because its gonna hurt so bad to hear it twice. From Steve’s lips. The soundbite will live with him for eternity. 

“Isn't that for me to decide,” Steve objects. 

“You've already decided.” 

Eddie remembers the shit Harrington pulled on Wheeler when she hurt his frail male ego by just existing in the same space as another man. He remembers the hateful way Steve spits the word ‘whore’ because he associates it with his father and all of his sins. It’s how everyone says the word. Like its poison in their mouth. 

Slut. Hooker. Whore. But that's what Eddie is. Until he can find something that pays better. Because he has to eat. He and Wayne won’t survive an Indiana winter without heat. And after Eddie was banished and then half-heartedly rewelcome into a unstable healing community, no one in Hawkins treats him the same. Weed sales have dried up. No one wants to hire him for any job. Not even the mechanic shop down the street that is desperately understaffed and Eddie is overqualified for. So what the hell else is he supposed to do? Wayne just turned 68. He shouldn’t need to work 12 hour shifts just to barely support the kid he didn't ask for in the first place. Eddie never should have been his burden. So this is Eddie’s way of giving back. Pulling his own weight so he didn't feel so much like a goddamn freeloader all the time. But could Steve understand that? Steve wasn’t stupid, but he also wasn’t, lets say as morally flexible as some other people.

"I can't- do this Eddie... If you’re going to lie to me." Steve says and one look into his eyes and Eddie feels what's left of the tie between them sever. 

"I'm not lying," He insists but its a half truth at best. 

"You're not telling me everything, that counts," Steve all but shouts. 

"You don't tell me everything."

He referring to whatever the hell went on between Hargrove and him two years ago. Eddie and Steve arent the only people different after an apocalypse. Their previous heated rivalry has all but burned out. So has Hargroves own personal brand of anger. They move around each other like chess pieces, always conscious of the others movement to limit interactions at school. But after school? Eddie’s seen Billy’s camero parked at Harrington’s more than it's parked in the trailer park. 

"That's different Eddie,” Steve huffs, scoffs as he pushes his hair back. “and you know it."

"How, how is it different Steve?" Eddie’s never brought it up before tonight. Eddie’s never been one for exclusivity, why the hell should he expect Steve to be?

"It doesn't involve you, or us. This does."

"Right,” Eddie scoffs, “Well, for argument's sake, it is safer for you not to know. For both of us."

Steve is silent for three beats too long.

Here it comes. 

Eddie can’t look at him. His face goes numb before the words can hit his ears. 

"Then you have my answer Eddie.”

It still hits him like a slap in the face. Steve’s done with him. And it hurts so much more than he anticipated it would. 

Eddie knew it was only a matter of time. He knew what Steve wanted in the end, and it was still someone more like Wheeler. A sweetheart. A family. Nothing Eddie can guarantee. Eddie doesn’t have much to say in his defense. So he doesn’t. 

"I'm sorry Eddie,” Steve, obviously uncomfortable in the silence, speaks again. “This is just, too much for me right now.”

"Okay,” comes out of Eddie’s numb mouth, even if it's the complete opposite. 

Eddie knew a clean break now would eventually be better than enduring their relationship fizzling out slowly. But it doesn't mean the inevitable failure of one more relationship doesn't hurt.

-two months later-

“Munson?”

Eddie blinks, of all the people to find him, here, he didn't think it would be Californian transplant, and fellow trailer trash bad boy Billy Hargrove from Hawkins. He just wants to disappear into the pavement. 

Eddie’s feet move to sprint, but Billy’s lighting reflexes catch him before he can. 

“Where the hell are you going now, Eddie?”

Eddie rips away from him. He hates the way his name sounds out loud. He hadn’t felt like ‘Eddie’ in weeks. He’s barely felt like anything. More like Nothing and no one. A nameless face in a sea of sex workers, businessmen, and bar patrons that he cycled through every day. 

“It’s none of your damn business,” Eddie spits, though it doesn't have much venom. He doesn't have the energy. He's sick, he’s cold, and he’s so fucking tired. He still has two more clients he can’t blow off tonight if he wants to have a prayer at ever getting unburied under his last hospital bill. Billy Hargrove and Hawkins and all that past shit is his lowest priority.  

“People are worried man,” Billy says, stopping Eddie from taking more than a step away. “Wayne especially. Don't you give a shit about him?”

Now Eddie is pissed, because who the fuck did Billy Hargrove think he was, telling him about what he should do? Talking to him about Wayne. As if he understood a goddamn thing about their lives! His anger flairs up his cough that only aggravates the pneumonia-scarred tissue and then Eddie’s coughing so hard it nearly knocks him over. 

When Billy moves close to ‘help’ Eddie slaps him off. 

“Everything I’m doing is for him! You don’t fucking know shit, Billy! How could you, you're just a kid!”

And while Billy was 17 and Eddie was 6 months into his 23rd lap around the earth, he felt so much older. His tragic sequence of life events had aged him decades. He’d be lucky to make it to 24 at this rate. 

Billy watches him curiously, putting together pieces Eddie doesnt mean him to. 

“Why did you take off Eddie?” 

“Why do you care?” Eddie doesn’t really think it's concern he sees in Billy's features. 

“Wayne doesn't have anyone else. You scared the shit out of him when you left.”

“Oh and what, you two are bffs now,” Eddie asks bitterly. 

Billy shrugged. 

“We've been spending a lot of time together, yeah.”

Eddie scoffs wetly. Fantastic. Now even Wayne has his own Eddie replacement. A better, nicer son. If Wayne didn’t need him anymore, well, he didn’t have any more ties back to Hawkins. He should be relieved, but instead he just feels empty. Forgotten. Unwanted. Billy had said people missed him, but the only name he offered up was Wayne’s.  

Eddie sniffs up the tears threatening to spill and reaches into his jacket. He takes out the seven hundred dollars and change he’s managed to squirrel away after his last AZT prescription refill and holds it out to Billy. 

“What is this?” Billy looks at the wad like its poisoned, and well, he's not entirely wrong, it's certainly dirty money. But its still green. And that’s all the world runs on. And speaking of money, the man he was currently scheduled to suck off is honking at him from across the parking lot, eyeing Billy with violent intent. Eddie needed to move quick before this escalated. 

“I’m not coming back. T-To Hawkins, I mean. I can’t, so I need you to give this to Wayne for me. Can I trust you to get it to him?”

Billy finally takes the money, counts it, and then his jaw drops. 

“There’s over seven hundred dollars here Eddie.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs dejectedly. “It should have been more but,” but you got stupid and believed some pretty, coked-up twink instead of following your gut. And now you get to live with the weight of that decision, forever… “It doesn’t matter. Just, please make sure he gets it. It should cover the next few payments on the trailer.”

Billy looks at him for a long time. 

“What the hell have you been doing Munson?”

Eddie scoffs before the car horn across the street blares loud, startling him right out of his skin. 

“Nothing you want to know about. Just please make sure he gets it, and knows, I’m sorry. For all of it.”

Billy’s eyes lower suspiciously. 

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Eddie shrugs.

“Because it has to be.” Eddie can’t feel anything below his neck anymore. The honk is starting up again. He’s really pushing his luck now. 

“Eddie, come on,” Hargrove begs and why does it sound like he’s actually pleading? Billy’s never had a nice word to say to him or Steve. And now he’s gone for what, a few weeks, and his enemy wants to become best friends? He doesn’t understand this plotline. He’s ready to get out of it. 

“I’m gotta go, Billy. Please, look out for Wayne.”

Eddie leaves the very next minute and sprints across the street, just narrowly avoiding being hit by the semi that blasts his horn.

[autisticlittleguy]

A bunch of people tagged my previous post on AI with writing inspiration which made me very happy. So heres more food

Did you know these models also fall into the same trap of cram studying, rote-memorization like a panicking student? Different kinds of models have different habits and strengths for what kind of patterns theyre good at picking up and when they're applied on a problem not meant for them, they tend to memorize the training data to avoid being penalized. As in: you dont need to learn the underlying processes and concepts if you just memorize the correct answer for every question that could be on the test. This isnt a metaphor btw, this is a literal phenomenon that happens called overfitting.

After all, its easier memorizing what the correct answers are than learning why theyre correct, yet they both yield the same reward, so theyre just punished for the extra effort. Did i mention I hate the education system?

I always feel bad when this happens because I feel like an awful teacher. Like d'aww. Im sorry lil guy. That wasnt your fault. Let me do a better job phrasing that question and giving hints so you dont panic and memorize everything in fear of The Penalty. Sometimes I also lobotomize them to limit their memory capacity, thereby discouraging memorization solutions or alternatively throw them out and try a new one, but that doesnt fit my agenda.

[not-poignant]

hi pia i just wanted to respond to what you said in your tags about the burnout w chronic illness. and i dont mean to condescend or blame but i think your burnout came about because you are an absolute beast of a writer!!!!! the amount of words you were pushing out consistently had me wondering what kind of spell you must’ve been on. (in a good way, except it turned out to be harming you) you worked really really hard for a long time, i think harder than many healthy people even (my chronic illness could never). i know you also enjoyed writing (we enjoyed it too!), but that workload honestly never looked sustainable. the astounding part is not that you burned out, but that you managed to push for so long, despite your handicaps and hardships. want to be careful not to sound like im praising/blaming you. but you’re really just build different than a lot of folks. i hope you had time to recharge so far and keep taking it easy. i do miss your updates but i can assure you im fine waiting, as are your other readers! its really okay! get better soon 💐🐀💓

Hi anon,

This is very kind of you to say, but tbh, I don't think many people know how much some writers can, well, write.

I might seem like an over-achiever, but there are writers out there who easily write around 6000-10000 words per day, and release a book per month. I have met successful authors who aim for 150k or 200k at NaNo, because 50,000 words is 5 days of work to them.

It's hard for me to comprehend, because I know I can't do that. But likewise, I think many folks don't realise that I actually used to write a lot more than I do now!! For some years it was normal for me to write 50-80,000 words every single month. NaNo was a joke. That caused burnout, and so I adjusted down to a 25,000 minimum monthly wordcount which sometimes felt so easy that it was absurd. I now have a maximum which I have to adhere to per month (50k), because it's too easy to go past it.

For me, writing is relatively easy. It's still work, yes. I still need to put time into it. But I don't need to put in the same amount of time as someone who hasn't done it for thousands and thousands of hours. I don't need to put in the same amount of time as someone who can only touch type at 80 wpm, when I touch type at 120-150 wpm.

The amount of stories is an issue, and the number of chapter updates is an issue, but the actual output re: words themselves really isn't. In fact I've written more words this month than I did last month already, and will very likely hit my monthly minimum with the next chapter.

The things that contributed to my burnout are multifaceted. Getting a puppy. A death in the family. Not having access to the mental health drugs I need to function for a long period of time. Friendship disintegration. These things can cause burnout in anyone, even if they are working very sustainably, because they all require separate labour on top of the labour that someone is doing for their job.

When I come back from hiatus, I will not be writing less. I don't believe the wordcount is the issue and haven't for a long time. I will be scheduling out less chapters, because admin is overwhelming to me. If you told me that my job wasn't writing anymore, but I had to schedule + figure out when to post twice as many chapters, I'd fail, lmao.

So I will be addressing admin stuff! But the amount of words I was pushing out, anon, was completely sustainable, and in fact a highly reduced number compared to what I was pushing out 6/7 years ago. Anon, I have been pushing out this many words or more for 5 years without stopping until now. It's felt comfortable. It's been so much less than what I used to make myself write.

So yeah, again, it can be hard for people who don't do this professionally to imagine writing at this level. And all professionals are different. I couldn't write 150k for NaNoWriMo, but the people writing 100k a month find that extremely easy to do. How I feel about their output - that it's impossible (because it is for me) is not how they feel about their output. For them writing 50k a month to make it easy might be extremely laughable to them, like, 5 days of work and then they get 25 days off. That's sometimes how I've felt about 25k (though it's more like 10 days of work to me - which is great, because I have chronic illness lol, so I need a lot of rest days and periods).

The amount of words I was pushing out consistently will be the amount I go back to because that is truly the most sustainable part of my job. I don't expect folks who haven't plugged in as many hours into writing, and who haven't written millions of words to understand, but the fact is the more you do something, the faster you get at it. The more practice you have, the more competent you become.

That was actually how I knew the burnout was so bad, because the easiest part of my job - the words + the writing - was impossible last month, and I only ended up with 14k for the first time in 5 years, and had to make a call.

The reason the hiatus is so frustrating is that so much of it is being caused by external factors, and not actually the job itself. Like yes, I am working on too many stories, and I can address that, but I was actually doing much higher wordcounts when I was working on less stories.

It's all the extra stuff that becomes very overwhelming! But I'll get there anon, and my wordcounts aren't going anywhere.

[tame-a-messenger]

“Are there a lot more Damangela posts out there that I’m missing? Because I saw a couple posts complaining about people talking about Damangela but I swear it’s literally only you and MAYBE one or two other people talking about them. Also it’s wild to me that people would complain about Damangela when Ianthony is RIGHT THERE or even amangela or spommy like people talk about these ALL the time writing lots of smut and everything but people are gonna complain about the five Damangela posts that happen every few days at most?? No hate to people talking about any of those ships I’m not one of those people who care so much about what people ship (if I don’t like it I just ignore it) but I just think it’s weird to call out Damangela when it’s such a small ship no one really talks about too much. And 99% of the Damangela posts are platonic and not romantic anyway so I don’t get why people are bothered by it.”

Hi Mitty! good to see you!

“Are there a lot more Damangela posts out there that I’m missing? Because I saw a couple posts complaining about people talking about Damangela but I swear it’s literally only you and MAYBE one or two other people“

That’s what has me all confused. I’m pretty sure there’s only a small handful of Damangela acc on here, or anywhere. I don’t really know why people have been getting so up in arms about Damangela? I’ve been seeing a lot of hate for ‘damangela shippers’ when I really can only think of like 3? that are openly shipping them together??

Most people posting about Damangela are purely Dynamic Enjoyers™, and openly stating that. I don’t know where this wave of people came from, talking about ‘damangela shippers’ like there’s so many.

“people would complain about Damangela when Ianthony is RIGHT THERE or even amangela or spommy“

I think it’s because those ships in particular are all queer ships. It always strikes me as odd that people are EXTREMELY comfortable shipping rpf if it’s queer, but if it’s hetero they say it’s an invasion of privacy and weird. Like you’re saying IT’S NOT AN INVASION IF ITS GAY??? WHERES THE LOGIC?? do people not understand how sexuality works? (if you have a problem with rpf COMMIT TO IT. DONT PRETEND ITS OK ONLY IF ITS QUEER. shipping real people is shipping real people.)

(I do realize that all of those ships have pretty obvious reasons why they aren’t taken as seriously. Amanda is married, Spencer is straight(?), ... , so I understand that side, but if you truly think rpf is bad, commit to it.)

I’d also like to say just because a Woman/Man is hetero, does NOT mean they romantically like EVERY Man/Woman they meet. 

“it’s weird to call out Damangela when it’s such a small ship no one really talks about too much“

That’s what I’m thinking as well, like I said, I can only think of maybe 3 people that openly ship them together? and they don’t even post that regularly. It almost feels like they’re trying to head off future shippers because of the Podcast clip that came out recently? (the Christmas Event™)

That’s ^ the only reasonable thing I can think of. (they still aren’t doing a very good job as a community... I think it’s because there’s been a lot of new fans the last couple years)(along with Smosh not being very good with fan discourse)(I could go on for days about this lol)(if there was an obvious figure head in the community that could point the fans in good directions I think that would help with the weird dog piling that’s going on rn)

“99% of the Damangela posts are platonic and not romantic anyway so I don’t get why people are bothered by it.“

It doesn’t make much sense to me either. 

The one thing I did see that I could imagine being annoying, is that people trying to look through #Angela Giarratana tag are getting flooded with damangela content. (and obviously the #Damien Hass tag as well) I could TOTALLY see why that could make some people mad! but there’s really not much to do about that.. 

(other than going into settings and filtering out damangela manually)

I feel a little bad that we’ve been flooding their tags, but I can’t really do anything about it? I could start not tagging both of them? but I feel like it makes more sense to just filter your own tags than get me to change how I tag (other people would be tagging them even if I stopped anyway..)

Anyway, I’m sure all this will blow over soon! something about April Fools Marriage and a Solar eclipse is getting everyone all red blooded.

-Much love Mitty! <3

[latenightsundayblues]

TYSM @kryypt1c 4 tagging me to answer these questions im honored😭😭😭 really hope im doin this right n not embarrassing myself....

1. Are you named after anyone? Not an actual person, but my ma wanted to name me after a really famous shoe store here in my country. My dad wanted something more unique, and his solution was to switch out the 'a' at the end with an 'e'. So I guess it all started with feet in a way

2. When was the last time you cried? Rewatching the ending of Cinema Paradiso on Youtube yesterday. Like just the clipped ending literally nothing else. Its a REALLY GOOD MOVIE okay

3. Do you have kids? Reading this question made me shudder quite violently. Thankfully no

4. What sports do you play/have you played? I was such a little bitch as a kid I didn't want any activities that could get me hurt😭😭 only thing i ever did was ballet for a short while

5. Do you use sarcasm? I feel I'm above regular sarcasm in a way. I'm on some sort of infuriating post-ironic type of shit even I can't properly diagnose

6. What is the first thing you notice about someone? Prob their mood. I've always been sorta sensitive as to what people's first impressions of me are so I just zero in on whether or not the way they're looking at me means they like me or want to bash my head in with a slab of concrete

7. What is your eye color? Plain brown yawnnn

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Why can't we have both? Why not add a little bit more of Insidious or Nope to your life?

9. Any talents? Erm. Ughaghhh..... Ummm.... Drawign. ?

10. Where were you born? Brazil baybeee

11. Any hobbies? Do nice little walks around parks on sunny days count at all🥹

12. Do you have any pets? Nala my beautiful ungrateful little bitch of a cat

13. How tall are you? Honestly i dont even know😭 I don't keep track of that shit so I'd need to measure myself again, but last time I checked I think i was like 159 cm or smth

14. Favorite subject in school? English bc I've always been the best at it lmfao

15. What's your dream job? Those really boring ambiguous jobs middle class fathers in american movies have where they work with boxy computers inside grey little cubicles and hang out at the water cooler to make small talk during breaks. I want that for me

@goofalicousgooberface @hydehecticbastard so srry for calling u guys to every little game i get tagged in I'm not familiar with anyone else😭😭 no pressure

[atrirose]

back when enhablr used to be full of fics, headcanons and reaction. but now i see people wih the aesthetics, small texts but less works if i am not wrong.

when i see vissit a new enha writing blog, i see the themes, small texts. it's so irritating :( like how can you even see the small text... plus, the amount of symbols and other fonts they use, tsk

i am not blaming you :( but telling that mosot of enhablr has become aesthetic or something like top notch. everyone only focuses on how the blog themes, texts are but not the works.

but can i also know like what is suggestive?? isn't it like suggesting a sexual thought or something that leads to sex?? since you are an adult, i am asking you this.

but no, i literally see 15 or 16 year olds writing about suggestive stuff for enha, then telling mentions of fwb :0 i cannot believe when enhable used to have fluff fluff fluff where ever we searched.

i still remember you in my dash back in 2021, you wrote so much fluff istg, i used to wait for your works :( i wish we got that enhablr writing community back but literally wherver i see it is suggestive.

after all, this is my opinion...

hii ! at the start of the ask i thought you were shading me but ㅠㅠ yeah i understand what you mean , the fonts, themes, and small text usages has become more common now instead of the actual matter, i do use small text too but its only for the decor purposes, and my main focus (fics or hcs) are all large text with no fonts bc it is insensitive to use fancy text for those stuff and deprive people who cant read them, and i get that blogs do focus on their appearance more than the writing, bc let’s be honest people only see what they like to and if you look around if a blog ‘doesn’t look aesthetic’ people tend to ignore it even if the content is good. so bc of that many people have adopted the whole persona, i didnt change a lot except the fact i started posting a lot less and have not been active here, i think its a lot to do with adulting, all of the older members of enhablr now either have jobs/uni/exams or are just not feeling like doing this anymore.

and it’s totally fine for you to feel irritated by that, so u can js avoid those kind of blogs but you also need to remember that it’s their blog and they can chose what to do with it and how to decorate it, we can’t control that bc people have their own choices, but yeah the content being less i have seen a lot and i do agree with even tho i don’t read often i too get annoyed by the tags being flooded with nsfw content which is super creepy bc js few months ago it was all fluff as you mentioned and i hoped that the space stayed wholesome. i cant really control that but i hope people dont js see boys in that light.

suggestive to me is js a little bit more kissing/ implication of or suggestive jokes but i am not sure since i do not interact with those kind of content i might not be the best person to ask this, im sorry. but it is very uncomfortable when minors write nsfw.

HELP NOT YOU SAYING I POSTED A LOT 😛, jk anyways aww that is so sweet that i had someone waiting for me, i did post a lot of fluff and it will be a train ride if i read all my work, i will probably cringe 😔, i will always write fluff if that makes u happy if i do post in the future .. , sorry it’s js not the same anymore so i might not be the same atrirose who use to post every week. i am in touch with someone of my moots which were their with me since the start of this account or enha writer who use to flood the tag with tooth rotting fluff and well .. busy , busy , busy so i cant promise anything but hey we still have their old works you can binge. 

your opinion is totally valid.

[withacapitalp]

Hehehe sappy New Years post today bc yesterday did not go the way I expected. It’s still the new year day!!!

But God I do not know how to explain 2022. 

My favorite word is dichotomy. For a lot of reasons, but also because I feel like it describes my life a lot. Because 2022 was the best and worst year of my life so far. I got to teach the most amazing group of children I have ever met, and did well enough that they’re personally asking me to come back and teach there, I wrote my thesis, worked three jobs, managed to graduate on time with a double major no one had ever attempted at my college, all the while interning and volunteering on the side and going to conferences to speak about my research. 

And the entire time- as I genuinely, honestly, loved every minute- I was spiraling inside. 

It was so bizarre to me, all of the bad stuff was over, everything should have been good. Only the most amazing things were coming my way, things most people dream about getting in their lives, and I was so upset I couldn’t breathe some days. In my criminally logical brain I couldn’t understand why I was fine through everything bad, but now that things were good I really wasn’t okay. 

That’s the thing. When you’ve lived in survival mode for fifteen of the twenty one years of your life, you don’t realize the crash that comes from finally escaping the thing that was trying to kill you. I’d spent so long just getting by, that I had no idea how to live now that I had the chance. I was trying, and doing pretty well, but it just felt so…broken for lack of a better term. 

But I kept with it. I loved when I could, and I healed whatever was possible to heal.

Which brings me to August, which brings me to Stranger Things, which brings me to one of the most amazing groups of people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Friends, Confidants, Creators, Inventors…Everything. Not only did I get a reinvigorated love for my writing, but I also got just the most lovely people in the whole world. At the risk of being too sappy, something that is more valuable to me than even my writing. People who slid into my life like they had always meant to be there, who understood me in ways I never expected to be understood. 

I don’t know how to explain the absolute insanity for me of jumping into a server, having them all be on talking so fast my head was spinning, mildly considering just running for the hills bc how was I going to fit into a group that was already working so well together??, then saying fuck it and just giving them me exactly as I was, only to find they actually really liked that person, and I found that I did too. 

Love is a weird concept for a lot of people, they think it has to be something deep and sacred. I just think it’s a gut instinct kind of pull, if it's deep, it's deep, if it isn't, it's still valid and true, and I haven’t met a person in this fandom who hasn’t had that same kind of pull for me. 

From the people I’ve talked to once, to the ones I talk to every day, to the ones I don’t talk to at all who just hang out in my notes and sometimes leave tags on their reblogs (Yes I see you! I know you all by name and I get excited when I see its you in my notifications). From the people who comment on all my stories, to the ones who I see every day on my daily drabbles….I dunno it’s just really interesting to feel valued and not immediately want to shy away from that. 

My New Years resolution as always is to be more in connection with people so! If you’ve ever had the urge to talk to me pls don’t hesitate to reach out. I generally dont bite, and I tend to be an okay person haha! 

Anyway my sappy post has gotten as sappy and indulgent as I should let it be. Suffice to say that messed up kid I was in January, the one who had no clue what was coming and was afraid to hope for better, well he was finally able to let down his guard a little, and look what the universe had planned! I hate to say it, because it feels like a jinx, but I think ’23 is gonna be our year :D I'm knocking on wood aggressively as I type this, so hopefully that's enough

Tagging my mutuals/people who always make me so happy to see bc hey we all are and if y’all are being mushy I will also get to be mushy. I am sorry if I didn’t tag you it is not a ‘I don’t care’ and more a ‘I got five hours of sleep after being at the hospital for literally the entire night’ Love you guys!!!! 

 @stevethehairington @henderdads @thefreakandthehair @strawberryspence @gothbat99 @steddieassheg0es @riality-check @hexmionegranger @reindeerrobin @rougenancy @eddieunbanished @bonitabreezy @horsegirleddiemunson @maxinemaxmayfield @ruthofrhythm @willowworkswithwords @h0n3y-dw @marshmellowpaint @silverysnake @lizisodd @thelastwalkingsoul @aringofsalt @babyboyargyle @flowercrowngods @manda-panda-monium 

[mousemannation]

thank u for the tag @clayvedevs :333

a little get to know me tag game!

1. Do you make your bed?

... no but in my defence i have a loft bed so its very difficult to do

2. Favourite number?

hmm 3, 4 and 7 r my favourite digits. im a big fan of i hashtag complex numbers. grahams number and tree(3) r fun, oh -1/12 is a classic, pi as well... gosh so sorry i am a mathspilled nerd so,,,

3. What's your job?

never had one hashtag disabled

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

i never finished high school and i have thought about trying (for the like fourth time) to get a hsc (high school certificate, there r ways to get an equivalent qualification for mature age students) but idk. im at TAFE for fashion/costume and i dont really need an hsc for that. i have thought about eventually going to uni for maths though, and i would definitely have to take an entrance exam for that since i dont have an hsc. i do qualify for loads of exceptions though so its not all losses (yay disability?)

5. Can you parallel park?

never tried (have driven a total of 8 hours)

6. Do you think aliens are real?

in some form, yeah

7. Can you drive a manual car?

see q5 (no)

8. Guilty pleasure?

hmm... i believe cringe is dead and i also do/interact with surprisingly little.. i guess maybe like blind boxes? i dont get them often but theyre so expensive so i do feel guilty every time i see a kirby one and cant resist.

9. Tattoos?

nay, although now that all my friends are getting them i have been thinking about it. its not like. really on the cards bc i cant make decisions for the life of me but if i could id be so basic and get an ouroboros. and probably a guinea pig.

10. Favourite colour?

sage green, marone

11. Favourite type of music?

i'll listen to most kinds of music but i definitely gravitate to like emo, post hardcore, rock- that sort of thing

12. Do you like puzzles?

like jigsaw puzzles or? i mean i like jigsaws and i also like other kinds of puzzles. always my go to genre of game. riddles and cryptic crosswords and escape rooms my beloved

13. Any phobias?

hmm well ive got social anxiety disorder but other than that i dont think so?

14. Favourite childhood sport?

i deliberately was on every sports team in primary school at least once (except cricket lol) bc i actually did enjoy sports, but the aforementioned anxiety disorder made actually pursuing that difficult. i also did dance, gymnastics, acrobatics and trampolining at some point during childhood. i do miss acro, that was the last extracurricular i did before i got mucho depressed and my life basically stopped circa 2016. the only sport ive ever followed as a fan is tennis!

15. Do you talk to yourself?

yes lol mostly in my head but also out loud sometimes. born to be a yapper fr

16. Tea or coffee?

im a tea truther (earl grey with soy milk !!!!) and also a bubble tea fiend, BUT i will fuck up a mocha (or an iced coffee with enough milk and sugar to cover the bitterness)

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i was a veritable horse girl from a VERY young age so probably something related to horses?? like a showjumper maybe.

18. What movies do you adore?

love a good (or laughably bad) horror movie. a cure for wellness, orphan, killing of a sacred deer r all movies gave 5 stars. also love a good children's animated movie! unironically a big fan of the secret life of pets movies, ferdinand, that sort of thing. g-force remains the best movie of all time.

i am tagging: @soronya @tennis-kittens @nick-cassidy @shapovalovvs :33

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Idk if your still takin the AU asks, but I've been slowly building an AU where the Kamados have a sixth sense. In summary, Tanjiro sees ghosts and acquires many ghost friends over the course of canon (including some very angry demons and former Hashira who want to see him punch Muzan in the face)

!! oh Hellyeah ill still take these!!! [cracks knuckles] ill see what i can do!

the amount of time it takes a ghost to manifest post-death depends on the person-- sometimes its Immediate, other times they Take A While if they're particularly stubborn about realizing it. the amount he can see them changes depending on how focused he is-- being clear and legible when he's looking for them or extremely tired, or barely a whisper if he's in Go Time mode. they cant interact Much physically-- the most they have is Mild Ghost Shenanigans if they try really hard.

so obviously the interludes with tanjiro's family showing up are just For Real instead of Ambiguously Metaphorical. theyre the first to show up, and offer moral support occasionally :)! [they primarily tag along with nezuko to keep her company... and also to maybe possibly help her wake up more. theyre worried about her :( ] this is followed by sabito and makomo, who are Slightly more active and tag along to keep an eye on him and make sure he stays safe. (they were originally surprised tan could Continue Seeing Them and were originally going to just fade off with their work done, but... well, they felt compelled to stay. something about this kid, yknow.)

of course, not every ghost is exactly Friendly. like the swamp demon for example. this is where sabi+mako come in! Tanjiro Protection Squad. tanjiro cant exactly fight a ghost even if he Can see them, so they have to take care of it. and they do a damn good job of it. ...also members of the Tan Protection Squad is the Kamado Family, which the fox duo were a little concerned about, but its Shocking how effective a scolding from a Genuinely Disappointed Mother (+Equally Disappointed Children) can be to disarming a ghost. even with the protection squad on duty though, tanjiro is actually Pretty Good at dealing with Ghost Shenanigans because. hes him. its hard to feel spite over someone who genuinely cares so much, against someone who sympathizes even with creatures like demons. Hes Got Such Kind Baby Eyes. a lot of the time, ghosts are free to just... pass on. some stick around, some dont, but they're usually offered at least some kind of peace.

i cannot even fucking Imagine the chaos that happens when they accidentally run into muzan in the city.

ghosts dont just tether to tanjiro! sometimes he will meet someone and they'll have several ghosts following them about. they dont always speak to them, but he can Feel them-- how they're feeling, what they're holding onto. he has a reputation in the corps for mysteriously appearing, saying something ominous (yet oddly reassuring) or bringing a gift and Leaving... and then you realize youve never spoken to him before, how did he know about your favorite food? favorite animal? where did he learn this..?

on a similar line, whenever a ghost decides to tag along (temporary or otherwise,) tanjiro tends to pick up little trinkets or charms for them that they'd like. it feels polite somehow. they seem to like it, anyway. this means he has little charms on his belt and such all the time! :) he doesnt have a lot of space on him to carry them with, so he rotates them every so often (with a few exceptions he keeps on him at all times.)

its a heavy burden to bear, but he can handle it. he's the eldest son, after all.

. anyway this is a ridiculously fun concept-- i tried to keep it to Important Things(tm) but i am constantly in a state of doing Everything All The Time Always ! so theres a handful of misc stuff under th cut <33

rengoku becomes part of the Permanent Ghost Squad, but he kinda just... haunts Everybody, Always. all those rengoku flashbacks/manifestations? Theyre Canon Now. rengoku jumpscare <33

muzan has a ridiculous amount of ghosts tagged onto him-- theres so many of them you can't really tell where one starts and another ends, just that they are truly, deeply enraged. he seems entirely unbothered.

yoriichi is a bit of a fickle ghost. he rarely shows up-- only in those echoes and flashbacks + when tanjiro utilizes sunbreathing. he tends to wordlessly leave immediately after. (maybe theres some sort of lingering guilt there...)

. anyway i just think that Team Ghost Gang should get the chance to kick the shit out of muzan post-canon. they deserve it. ghost violence <33

[captain-aralias]

Aralias's fic year in review, 2022

not going to write anything new in the next 3 days, so here's my 2022 round-up. thanks @dragoneggos for tagging me into yours <3

fics i wrote alone:

Restoration Ecology - Explicit, 51k

Hopelessly Miscast - Explicit, 24k

We all fall down - Mature, 18k, based on art by @technetiumai

Thank Magic (Thank Niamh) - Explicit, Brobelove, 2.5k

Unintended - Teen, 47k, based on art by @asticou

Work It - Explicit, 4k

Simon Snow and the Third Gate - Teen, 5k, Unpublished, with art by @cutestkilla

7 fics of which 6 published, 151.5k words

fics i wrote with others:

We Were Always More - Teen, 9k (5k? mine), with @facewithoutheart

Call Me Maybe - Teen, 12k (<1k mine), with @forabeatofadrum

Shiver - Mature, 8k (<1k mine), with @facewithoutheart

Birthday Man - Explicit, 38k (<1k mine), with the Carry On Discord, join here

Seven Minutes - Mature, 6.5k (3k mine), with @facewithoutheart

about 8k mine - in total, call it 160k words this year.

some questions under the cut

although first, in a break from tradition, i thought i'd play back what i said i was going to write in 2022 at the end of 2021:

finish restoration ecology. 

some sort of smut for dem. 

???

might be time to write my vampire simon fic, not sure. the moment might have passed, and i might push it back and push it back until once again it doesn’t happen. 

i was thinking i’d quite like to write a thing where they get together at watford and it’s not because magic made them do it… and it’s not 50k+ words long, either. there have to be other ways. 

maybe some more experiments, like - i like the idea of them becoming friends after watford not boyfriends. a. few people started writing this and it’s interesting and fun - i dont have an idea for it. 

i do have an idea for the agatha-baz bodyswap. i guess i might write that. nothing the people like more than dubcon het sex, am i right?? (i mean, maybe some people). i’m trying to not think about this story until marta posts hers, and until i’ve written restoration ecology - see above. but yeah, i feel like there’s some quite significant impetus behind this one in my brain… (magic made them do it at watford, eh? it’s my favourite.)

(full 2021 answers)

i failed at vampire simon - that's basically never going to happen. i didn't write a watford get together that wasn't about magic, but i DID write a friends to lovers, the agatha-baz bodyswap, and restoration ecology! so - i consider that a win.

Best/worst title?

best title is 'Restoration Ecology', although i'm also a big fan of 'Shiver' - which i did not come up with. worst title is 'Thank Magic, Thank Niamh' - like RE, it’s a quote from the text, but one works on multiple levels, the other is just.... to do with niamh? i mean, i tried a bit harder than that. it's kind of to do with how agatha prefers niamh to magic, and that's the point of the story.... but yeah. it's poor. sorry brobelove.

also - no offense discord, but 'birthday man' is a bizarre title 😂 it absolutely makes sense in context, but seems weird before you read the fic. (i wrote the summary of this fic, which is why it's super generic like all of mine)

Best/worst summary?

all the summaries i wrote this year are at least all right! the brobelove one is actively good (phew). the best is probably restoration ecology again, although someone told me at some point they were worried about reading it in case baz really had ruined simon's life at some point (that was just simon being dramatic in the summary, it's ok).

'We all fall down' has a classic aralias-friendly summary i.e. [quote sets up normal situation] ; [now something else is happening]. it's elegant and (i think) intriguing, and only doesn't get to be the best summary of the year because it's so reminiscent of every snowbaz hanahaki summary ever...

Baz has been hopelessly in love with Simon Snow for years, he thought it was killing him. Now it really is.

worst - Work It is clearly phoned in (though it does the job). but i'm going to go for a surprise choice of the 'Unintended' summary, which i never really liked. it describes the premise of the fic but not very elegantly. i think i wrote it in the few hours before posting chapter 1, which is usually not a good sign.

Best/worst first line?

excluding the ones i didn't write...

best is probably 'Well. This is Awkward' - from the brobelove, although 'Friendship is magic' (Unintended) is also good fun and plays off later, obvs, in a way i totally planned...

also, a shout out to 'Call Me Maybe':

By the time I get off the plane, I already have three missed calls from Penelope and a voicemail.

i thought that was a good beginning.

worst - 'There’s music playing when I get home.' (Work It)

interestingly, that beginnning is also dull... on purpose. as i was thinking 'i always open fics in media res, lemme do something different. so this sentence has nothing to do with the rest of the fic (except that the music is 'work it', i guess) unlike all my other first lines. and it ends up on the worst first line podium! harsh.

Best/worst last line?

best - “I’m Agatha Wellbelove.” (Hopelessly Miscast)

boom! i dont know if people even noticed the chapter titles, i tend not to notice chapter titles, but this is a call back to that, as well as her feeling so secure in her own body. that's why it gets top spot even though i wrote a few not-crap endings this year. (n.b. for new readers, i tend to dislike my endings/writing endings.)

i really really like the ending of 'We Were Always More' - i wrote this kiss for simon way earlier in the narrative and then thought 'wait, this is classic ending material', and it works super well. even 'Work It', which is kind of doomed to be the fic that isn't as good as most of the others... has a solid ending.

i wrote a crap ending for 'We all fall down' - but fixed it at the last minute!! 'Spring's come early' works.

'restoration ecology'............. would probably end up in last place (what???) because it's a classic lazy aralias ending, but i've just remembered Third Gate fizzles out much much more obviously at the moment, so - that's the worst.

i still have time to make that one work, though.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

interestingly, the answer is - far far fewer fics.... than i thought i had written this year/than i thought i would write. but quite a few more words than i usually write, despite that.

i wrote.... 4 big chunky fics of which 2 were very chunky.

and clearly - see above - the content was approximately what i predicted! although i had no idea it would fall out like this.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

brobelove is the obvious answer here - although the fact that it's queer means that it's not so unlikely - particularly after i ended up spending so much time with agatha in 'hopelessly miscast'.

i didn't expect that fic to end up so much about her, either.

What’s your favourite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

i answered this question recently, the answer is 'restoration ecology' :) but as i say, lots of good stories this year, i thought.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

RE is still more popular than 'Unintended' but maybe not forever.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

hmm.... maybe 'work it' but it's a throwaway wingfic, so i feel like it got the attention it deserved.

Call Me Maybe is probably the answer - it's genuinely BRILLIANT, i was overwhelmed when i saw what had been done with this premise. i wrote the opening, so it's my fault if people are not being sucked in. and i know it's because it's agatha gen fic but i would love more people to read it.

Story that could have been better?

'work it' - but did it need to be much better? i mean, i definitely rushed the end/the sex, because the deadline was approaching...... but there is sex. and there are wings.

the beginning of 'restoration ecology' still bugs me, too. so much exposition - it only gets good when they're having sex. and then there's exposition again, and we have to wait for the sex again.

Sexiest story?

i only really wrote porn this year... and 'unintended'! probably the answer is 'restoration ecology', although if you like strap-ons, and who doesn't, perhaps you would like the brobelove.

Saddest story?

usually i have no answer for this, but ...... actually i think arguably 'restoration ecology' OR 'we all fall down' qualify, even though i can't really sustain angst without wanting to put in some jokes and simon saying 'everything's going to be ok now'.

restoration ecology is about healing, so it has to start fairly bleak and hopeless - and i think baz's breakdown is pretty sad, even though by the time we know about it, everything's basically ok for him.

meanwhile 'we all fall down' is about how baz is dying beautifully and simon can't love him ..... it definitely is the winner of this category, even though as i recall it, they mostly spend time holding hands and talking about how much they like each other. so it's not that sad.

Most fun?

'we were always more'! aka amnesia baz. how could anything else be the winner when i got to write a baz who purrs and wets flannels for simon? facewithoutheart is a writer of extreme range, but one end of that range is being extremely funny, and this set up is all her.

Story with single sweetest moment?

not sure....... my instinct says it's one of these:

1 - restoration ecology, partners. “Is that better, sweetheart?” (btw, i like that i just dropped these endearments in without comment and we have to wait a whole chapter for simon to tell us he's in love with baz)

2 - we all fall down, “It did work,” I agree. “Which means my father and stepmother were bound in holy matrimony by Buzz Lightyear.” although the sex is very reminscent of what i like about the Wales sex in RE

3 - Unintended chapter 5: Baz smiles. Swallows. Presses his forehead against mine. “Then marry me.”

Hardest story to write?

i find it very amusing that last year i was whinging about restoration ecology, but by the time i was doing the ao3 wrapped ask meme this month i'd forgotten it was hard to write at the beginning. it was hard. but then it was easy for the end.

this year's hardest story was.......... Simon Snow and the Third Gate.

it's not it's fault - it had too much plot, no romance arc (although i accidentally made baz the second main character despite saying i wouldnt) and i was in deep pregnancy first trimester tiredness.

'Unintended' also took months longer than i wanted it to. first chapter was quite easy, but later chapters where simon was more in his feels took.... more than the 2 weeks-per-chapter that i wanted them to take. a lot more.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

since i've remembered RE was a ballache at the beginning, gotta be 'Hopelessly Miscast'. i wrote a chapter of that a week, i think, and it's genuinely really good! i enjoyed it a lot.

'birthday man' was also really easy - i was a bit worried about it, but it's so free-ing to know that you don't need to finish what you started, and by the time i wrote anything, i felt confident enough not to have to write that much either. (by which i mean: there was a bit of me that wanted to be like 'is my bit the best??' which would have stressed me out. what i actually wrote is not the best bit, it's a bridge. but it's fine. i enjoyed writing it.)

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

'hopelessly miscast' made me think i could write agatha and really enjoy it. that's almost certainly why i ended up writing the strap-on fic later.

Most overdue story?

'Unintended' - it wasn't really overdue, but i wanted it to be finished months earlier than it was. but i think it was ok. it gave time for asticou to make art, which was lovely.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

yes! there was that bit in the middle of the year where i signed up for too many things. two CORBs and WIP fest - it was probably too much, but i like all the things we made! so i guess i learned - it's fine?

my other major risks were things like saying 'i don't know if i can keep posting every week!!' from this i learned - i can do it. for a while. but not always - i shouldn't beat myself up for 'unintended' not being written in 5 weeks.

the other major risk i thought i took was writing the baz-as-agatha sex. i think if i'd been less established as a writer in this fandom i would have been more worried about how it would go down. as it was, i was still a bit worried, but i also put up the framework of consent early on, and people were so nice about chapter 1 that it turned out fine. i feel other people have done lots more risque things this year than anyone has done so far (this is not really up there) - and it's been good! well done, fandom.

This year’s theme and the story that demonstrates it most:

i can think of two obvious ones.

the first is - collaboration!!! i barely wrote any collab stuff before this year, and yet this post has a huge list of things i either wrote with other people, or wrote based off art. i'm going to choose 'Seven Minutes' as the exemplar (even though it's probably 'Birthday Man') because it's the one that i asked to do, off the back of all the other collaborations going really well.

the other theme i noticed this year is ........ they aren't together but they're still kissing/having sex from almost the beginning of the story. i dont know whether there's a better name for that, but i didn't do it on purpose. i just like a slow burn AND for there to be sex. now i've noticed it, you'd think i would try and stop, but the only fic i know for sure that i will write next year is exactly this.

it's also a collaboration :)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

let's keep it simple.

i want to:

a) fix up the ending of Third Gate b) write the strangers to lovers fic for/with @krisrix

if i do nothing else before the baby in May, but i do those two things, then we'll be ok.

otherwise, twigs_in_my_hair and i will hopefully write something together, watford era, her idea, but it's right up my street.

i think anything else is probably too ambitious! but if there's something you'd like me to write, or you want to work on something together, please do ask - i might say it's not possible or a project is not for me, but at the moment it feels like a good way to get me to possibly write! (and collaborating works well, as it means there's definitely someone to bounce ideas off/i know i have someone to pick up the slack if necessary.)

see y'all in 2023!

[lylilorden]

12 Questions for 12 Followers

thanks @dreamingthroughthenoise!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

nope! kind of the opposite, almost. ultrasound technology wasnt.... the best..... around when i was born, so my parents were expecting a boy, and then like twelve hours before i was born my mom had a funny feeling and they started shuffling through name books until they found my names. ha, jokes on them i grew up to be agender anyway

2. When was the last time you cried?

idk, probably no more than two days ago. i never used to cry, and now i cry at everything

3. Do you have kids?

i have my internet hellions @potatoesandsadness and @depressedwetnapkin, and also two baby nieces who i love a lot (but who taught me that yeah i probably dont want my own children. they are exhausting)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

mm, i guess? i try to only do it if its obviously a joke bc i have a hard time telling when other people are sometimes, and i dont want anyone to struggle to interpret what im saying

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

in person, probably height? im pretty short so its a notable feature for me. online, i guess whatever the first handful of posts i see from them have in common?

6. What's your eye color?

bluegreengrey. they shift color depending on what im wearing and sometimes with my mood

7. Any special talents?

the first time i cook something it always turns out really well, and im good at remembering numerical passcodes and passwords. it took me exactly one time seeing it used to remember the code to the mail room door at my job (and my reward for that is that my boss always sends me over now to check it lmao)

8. What are your hobbies?

i read a lot, trad pub and fanfic (my favorite novel i've read this year is 'a taste of gold and iron' by alex rowland. my ao3 history is between me, myself, and i. god is not invited to this party, not even by implication). allegedly, i also write fic. im not very good at video games but i love playing uno on discord's knock-off uno app with @quack-snail-umbrella. im taking a ceramics class again bc i really enjoy it and that's the best and easiest way to get my hands on the materials. pressing plants for my collection, and occasionally making really stupid memes in a drawing app to inflict on my discord friends about niche things. does collecting books count as a hobby?

9. What sports do you play/have played?

i did gymnastics as a kid, and ice skating. i did archery in my teens, and nothing else since, bc between those three things ive made every single one of my joints permanently angry at me

10. How tall are you?

5' 2" with a lil upwards wiggle room

11. Favorite subiects in school?

art and history in high school, all my applied botany and ecology type classes im taking currently for my AS right now

12. Dream job?

that's kind of a tough one. i guess anything that helps me make a material, positive impact on the world? im not super picky i just want to not hate my job

tagging: everyone i already tagged up in my answers, @doodle-do-wop @displayheartcode @tethysresort @dear-rat-boi @my-insanity-is-an-artform @flaim-ita @sparklecryptid @chili-the-kid @kanafinwe-makalaure and anyone who feels like doing this

[alphinias]

I hope you're willing to discuss a bit of a negative reaction to this season. I have very mixed feelings on this season and based on tumblr/twitter tags it was quite underwhelming for many. Which is sad because Jiara was their goldmine and they didnt even use them to their full potential. Most seem to agree that the amount of screentime John B got was way too much.

Then its also the fact that they actually went full on magic which i was not a fan of. It no longer felt like a silly treasure hunt by a group of friends but a completely different genre.

Then there's the fact that they broke up the group for most of the season and made it all about the pairs which felt way too forced. Suddenly all of them are falling in love with each other.

Jarah because toxic af. They should totally break up. Sarah is cheating and lying to both and JB has huge anger issues.

Jiara as much as they were cute, there was still too much crumbs and not enough depth/cuteness. And if you think about it their whole storyline was them having to talk about the almost kiss/their feelings and JJ stealing Mike's money. Every episode was same story, different scenary. The writers were hardly creative. And the last episode was just bad. I wish they made them more like joking around and be oblivious about the other ones feelings and then at one moment it'd hit them and then the angst of Im not good enough for you. Instead we got them with heart eyes already in episode 1 and it felt odd because with the exception of s2e10 there was no indication that Kie was in love with JJ. Sure, they were on that island for a month but as a viewer you dont feel that its been so long. And the almost kiss in ep 3 came out of nowhere, and then they built the whole season around it. And when they finally kissed, it was quick and in the dark. I feel like as much as we want to think it was cute, no one dreamt about it happening this way. It was the most anticipated kiss for years and it happened in public by actual girls clapping. JJ's reaction to it made me like the scene but if you think about it, it was a bit absurd. In the end we got them together which is great but at what cost.

I think the writers did a poor job this season and it shows in the media reviews the season is getting.

I mean, that’s fair. It’s valid to have criticisms of things. I’ve complained about a fair few of those things myself, especially the lack of pogue dynamic and lackluster finale, so I can’t say I completely disagree. The season definitely wasn’t perfect by any means (and there was some missed potential in areas) but I like to keep my blog a positive esc place so I probably won’t post too much negativity about something I mostly enjoyed! Hope y’all understand that.

On early the Jiara almost kiss: I will fully admit it wasn’t what I was expecting at all. I panicked for a second about it, but I actually do think it made sense. They did a pretty good job setting up the shift for Kie in 2x10 and 3x01 alone (and for JJ being more comfy with it in 3x01), and when you consider the fact that they’ve known each other their whole lives and have probably had some dormant feelings (on kie’s part) for a while I personally think it makes sense. I also liked their first kiss!! I thought it was adorable and fit the tone of them this season, but I do really think we deserved more follow through and maybe another kiss in the finale. That’s what I really keep coming back to.

I think for me the things I loved about the season I REALLY loved, but there were also things that irked me more than usual too.

[swiftfootedachilles]

I love the Ghost Hunters AU and I really want more of Salem. Especially Salem with the Milkovich siblings.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you. ive always wanted a black cat named either princess or salem and i thought it would make sense since its a ghost hunter au (even tho i skipped over all the ghost stuff so my post wasnt a million words long) with terry not around i feel like the milkoviches would love playing with animals. Salem is a very adventurous, people-loving cat! you know, the kind of cat people say were a dog in their past life. of course she loves the gallaghers too! even carl makes a point to be nice to her (after, when she was a kitten, ian beat him up for making a joke) but the milkoviches dont really get to show affection ever, so they love getting to play with her and scratch her lil belly and give her treats they stole from the pet store. they all adore her but ofc after ian and mickey get together and he comes over to the gallaghers a shitton, mickey becomes her 2nd dad. he goes to the top of her favorite people list. nobody else plays with her the way he does! hes not afraid to get a little rough, but he knows whats signs to look out for when a cat is not playing/irritated. shes still young and she loves playing!! imagine toddlers who like getting thrown around because its fun, shes like that. she gets kicked out and put in a different room when they fuck, and she uses this time to get in as much trouble as possible, knock shit over, and annoy anyone else in the house. ALSO she LOVES liam!! they literally grow up together and fiona teaches him how to treat animals so by the time hes like 5, she moves from sleeping with ian to sleeping with liam

i imagined ian and mandy meeting at the same time, so when salem is 2 that would be s3 ish. when he first found her, ian had just started his job and scrounged up every penny he could find to take her to a low cost clinic to get spayed and vaxxed. other than being skinny and dehydrated (and ofc separated from her mom as a kitten) she was in surprisingly good shape! now shes so used to being spoiled by everyone! ian LOVES taking care of others and being of service so he really found a home in Salem, treating her like his kid and giving her the best life possible. i definitely think once he gets diagnosed with BD, he pays (with mostly mickeys money lbr) for her to be his emotional support animal and takes her to as many pet friendly places at possible!

like i said she becomes kinda the mascot of the ghost hunting youtube channel they eventually start. its not something they see as a career or anything, they do it as a hobby, but they gain decent attraction and make extra money on the side from ads and a few brand deals. ofc Salem is the reason everyone watches the channel 🙄 she's in pretty much every video, and they chose her as their icon bc 1. black cat spooky duh 2. she brought them together 🥺 3. she really does show up A LOT in videos, especially when they're not urban exploring/hunting and at home recording the historical backgrounds and debriefings for each location. also yes they do urban exploring as well, thats mainly mickey and mickey and whatever milkovich wants to tag along and graffiti an abandoned building. imagine a combination of The Watcher and Dan Bell (omfg now im imagining them doing Another Dirty Room???? 😭 they would be so offended at paying money for rooms worse than their own back in the southside) but with less production value

ok omg i wrote so much im gonna stop now before i go off the rails again. how did i fall in love with this random ass au from a trope generator. reminder that i accidentally deleted the og post so it wont turn up in searches unless youre on my blog or the blog of anyone else who rbed it :)