#i did not think i’d be writing an essay tonight

[goombasinastack]

splatoon 3 hot take turned impromptu essay

was stuck offline in splatoon 3 because internet was actin up and i realized how pretty the photomode splatoon 3 filters are compared to the actual game

i was taking photos on brinewater and thought. damn. this game looks fine but i miss how VIBRANT splatoon 1 was! i wish i could play sploon 3 with this photomode filter on all the time. and brinewater is the best map for this because of the sunset lighting! so i went to one of the worst offenders mapwise for general color—undertow spillway. it is a warm gray mess:

for someplace underground, it’s WAY too warm of a tone—even if there are skylights, they aren’t very well defined, as they’re off in the background—they’d be better with some light shafts to pop out more, imo.

so here’s undertow with photomode filter #6 (this would’ve been a video but tumblr limits to 1 video per post):

and i think this looks a lot nicer, colorwise! the icky warm gray is shifted to a soft pink—and while that’s still not in keeping with the lack of obvious skylights, it works better than warm gray.

so then i opened ibis x paint and got to work on a filter that would hopefully help elevate the entire game’s look:

on top is photomode filter #6, in the middle is the original screenshot, and on the bottom is my proposed filter.

i upped the contrast, brightness, and saturation a bit, then added a 5% pure magenta (#FF00FF) overlay layer on top of that. then i added a slight gaussian blur to emulate antialiasing, which nintendo refuses to do for some reason!

and i wanna play splatoon like that! i miss the vibrancy and intricacy of splatoon 1…

incoming splatoon 1 essay‼️

not only were the colors eye-bleachingly bright, but the overall game feel was much more immersive—especially in ink physics. you could paint trees, and the ink would drip down through leaves as if it were rain… ink splatter would respond to the movements of platforms, keeping its intertia as it dripped! you could see the textures of surfaces through the ink, as if it were an actual liquid instead of a layer of thick oil. 3 doesn’t have any of those special touches.

there’s also the music… 1’s ost feels so much more WEIRD and experimental than the later games, and that really helps cement that this is not human society—this is a new thing—which tracks for splatoon 1, as it was so zany nobody had ever seen anything quite like it before! splatoon 2 follows this sheer melting-pot of brashness and creativity with evolving and varied styles—where once was punk and weird samples in Squid Squad is now groovy rock in Wet Floor, jazz in Ink Theory, and also whatever Sashi-Mori was. also i <3 chirpy chips. splatoon 3’s music goes back to that punk, but i feel that it loses some of the charm and creativity of the first two games. C-side is pure metal, and hardly uses any weird instruments. there have sparsely been other splatbands involved with regular battle music—Yoko&tgb call back to the jazz of Ink Theory which i love! Off the Hook’s new tracks delve into a new style in piano rock. but the main band kind of falls flat to me. :(

let’s talk stages. in splatoon 1, stages were wildly different from each other, including skateparks, construction sites, underpasses, malls, sewage plants, and other locals that are culturally underground. the rest of the trilogy moves away from this in a story standpoint, as ink battles evolve from punky, diy competitions into full-fledged championships in 2 and 3, with advancing battle infrastructure as time progresses. that’s fine, and honestly it’s cool to see that kind of worldbuilding! but in 1, each stage was designed about and influenced by the area it represented. Arowana Mall is a straight line with high vantage points on the second/third story because it’s a mall. Pirahna Pit features convenyor belts that shuffle refuse around because it’s a trash plant. Blackbelly Skatepark has so many hills and valleys because it’s a skatepark, for goodness sake. splatoon 3’s original stages have some of this charm, but it feels lost in ambiguity. why doesn’t Mincemeat Metalworks have small moving platforms on cranes or other heavy machinery? Idk, have some grates and one-way drops, and a car on a post. why isn’t there any water incorporated into the stage design of Brinewater Springs? Idk, have 2 paintable walls and a tetris piece. 3’s original stages have little to no connection between their locals and the geometry, which make it feel same-y compared to previous games.

maybe this is because of the inflexible philosophy of the designers—or their corporate oversight, maybe. for stages, you need to make a straight line or tetris piece with few routes to push, in an effort to promote the game’s main premise of Chaos. for music, you need to make punk songs that aren’t too weird so they don’t drive away the parents. maybe the little ink touches could have been missing because development was rushed?

i honestly dont know why it happened out this way—perhaps the splatoon team just needed more time to cook, in order to squeeze out that extra 20% of game feel? or maybe it was that speculated corporate oversight, i dunno. things WERE missing on launch—notable exceptions being X rank, online tableturf lobbies, and no more than three salmon run maps. i know we’ve yet to even get the DLC but for being about 75% of the way through the game’s content lifespan, but splatoon 3 feels incomplete. there have been improvements, yeah! i just wish there could’ve been more. i would rather have waited another year for splatoon 3 if it were polished that much better, y’know?

i honestly feel like splatoon 1 captured that creative, no-holds-barred mantle of Chaos better than 3 does. 3 feels… flanderized, in a way. the curse of trilogies, perhaps? writing about it more, it feels like not only have the in-game sports of turf war been ripped out of its seedy home and thrust into the spotlight, and gone “mainstream” (see: massive squidsport companies investing in multimillion battle lobbies with holograms and lockers [sunken scroll about that!], flying coffee machines that grant you brief invincibility, new rules and techniques that allow squid surges and rolls, etc.), but also the Real Life Physical Video Game Cartridge of Splatoon has been popularized massively with the sequels on the Switch. maybe i’m not missing the “vibrancy” of splatoon 1 when i look at the colors and photomode filters of splatoon 3, but instead the inherent punkiness and counterculture inspiration that i see in the original.

fuck capitalism, i guess!

[idleoblivion]

"An Unexpected Lesson in Envy" Cater Diamond x GN Reader

Synopsis: Cater wants to show off pictures of you on Magicam, but the online response is not what he was expecting.

Word Count: ~1.4k

A/N: Well it turns out that Cater’s speech and whole overuse of internet lingo thing feels so unnatural to write for me so I think I ended up making him more serious than I was supposed to lol, I did my best. Also the @ looks like that cause I almost accidentally tagged a real person lol

Warnings: jealousy, light reverse comfort

“Come on, just a few more!”

“You said that ten minutes ago!”

You loved him, you did, but your boyfriend had a habit of roping you into photo shoots that could be inconveniently long. You were too cute, he’d always say, he couldn’t help it. You were in the gardens of Heartslabyul, which made for the perfect background as well. Today though, you have a history essay that you really need to get started on. If you stuck around too much longer, you’d have to work pretty late into the night to finish in time. 

“You’re so cruel to leave me~” he whines, which you respond to with a lighthearted glare. “Fine,” he sighs, “We’ve already gotten enough good pics anyway.”

“Thanks. I’ll text you later tonight.” You quickly kiss his cheek before hurrying back to your dorm to work. 

Cater returns to his room as well. While he’s ascending the tall, twisted stairs to get there, he’s scrolling through all the photos he got today. He’s almost giddy as he looks through them, you ended up with some fantastic shots today. 

He flops onto his back on his bed and starts collecting his favorite ones to post. He decides on a short collection of them, and rushes to Magicam to show them off. 

��Some adorbs photos with @ ididntasktobehere in the gardens! Some of my fav pics I’ve taken! #aesthetic #gorgeous #photoshoot #CayCaythebestphotographer’

He smiles to himself, satisfied with the caption he typed out. He posts them immediately, excited to see the response that they’ll get. And the attention starts coming within minutes of posting. 

He knew the pictures would get some popularity, his followers liked almost anything he posted featuring the gardens, and you were always a stunning model in his opinion. What he doesn’t expect is the amount of attention. The comments and likes start rolling in like they never have for him. No other post of his has gone as viral as this one. 

He’s ecstatic about it, until he starts actually reading the comments. 

-OMG, who is that? They are BEAUTIFUL 

-literally ethereal omg

-They could slap me and I’d actually thank them for real

-JUST ONE CHANCE PLEASE I BEG

He’s…conflicted. 

Of course you’re beautiful, and of course people would notice. That was to be expected, so why was his chest still feeling tighter and tighter the more he read?

He wasn’t the jealous type, really. He never got upset if you were affectionate with your friends. He never blamed you if some other guy flirted with you, because of course you always turned them down. And as long as they took no for an answer, he couldn’t really blame them for finding you attractive either. 

It’s never been so many people though. Especially all at once. It wasn’t just one person who wanted your attention, it had turned into hundreds thanks to his post. People were praising you with every compliment they could think of, and some were even asking if you were single. 

Your account was private, so he wasn’t worried about you being flooded with unwanted attention suddenly. But he was worried about what you’d think if you saw all the comments. Would you be uncomfortable? 

…Would you like them? He guesses he could understand if you did, everyone was being so nice and complimentary. But he realizes a part of him really doesn’t want you to. 

He was the uncomfortable one. As uncharacteristic as it was, he was jealous and had to admit it. 

Now he was at a loss for what to do, though. Does he delete the post? You followed him, so if you checked once you were done with your essay and the pictures weren’t there, you might ask what happened to them. He technically could respond to everyone that you were taken, but didn’t that make him seem insecure? He should be able to just brush it off, he thinks. 

It’s getting late by this point, and he decides to just try and ignore it for the night. He’d deal with any more comments in the morning, when his head was a little clearer. 

—-

He could not ignore it for the night. Every few hours he was up and checking for any more replies to his post, always finding at least a few new ones. His frown deepened with each additional comment. For the first time, he was actually loathing the popularity of his own post.

You could tell something was off when he greeted you with only a half-hearted smile and spent your whole walk to class together clearly lost in his own thoughts. He wasn’t any better anytime you spotted him in the hall between classes. He still wasn’t any better at the end of the school day, which is why you follow him to his dorm to confront him about it.

“Come on, you know you’ve been weird today. Are you feeling sick? Is something wrong?” “It really isn’t that big of a deal.” There’s absolutely zero pep in his tone, none of his usual Cater mannerisms present. He seems almost exhausted.

“That’s a lie and you know it. Cater, why can’t you talk to me about it?” He ponders for a second, still feeling guilty for being jealous in the first place. But clearly he wasn’t hiding it well, and making you worry about him didn’t feel very good either. So he takes a deep breath in before laying out everything that happened with the post.

“...That’s it? I saw the post, you even tagged me. I looked at the comments too when I saw you were getting so many. I honestly just rolled my eyes at them. I didn’t realize they were making you upset.”

“I…I guess I didn’t expect to be either? I just…I don’t know why. It’s not like I think you’d break up with me for one of them or anything.”

“It’s still okay to feel weird about it though. Do you want to take the post down?” “I thought about it, but I’m not sure. And the same thing might happen if I ever post more.” He seems extra dejected at the thought of that. Luckily, an idea pops into your head.

You grab his phone out of his hand. He looks at you surprised, but lets you open up his camera and sit next to him.

“Okay, now like this…” You put his arm around you and lean into him close. He seems to get the idea at this point and smiles widely before pulling you in tightly himself. You both position yourselves in frame, and you press your lips to his cheek as you take the picture.

When you pull away and hand him his phone back, his mood has already flipped completely. Even more so as he types out his next caption:

‘Thanks for the love on the pics we posted! Me and my lovely partner @ ididntasktobehere have been reading all the nice comments together! #cutestcouple #cutiesinlove’

“‘Cuties in love?’ Get rid of that, that’s embarrassing.” “But it’s true! We’re a couple of cuties, the cutest couple in the school!”

He laughed at himself and closed his phone with a satisfied grin. He was sure the two of you got the point across to everyone. With his confidence restored, he looks at you and starts brainstorming again.

“Oooh, maybe Vil will let us use one of the rooms at Pomefiore, everything in there is so fancy, it would totally blow up if we did a little shoot there.” “You’re seriously already planning another?” You laugh.

Of course he was. Now that everyone had it straight that you were taken, he was going to take every opportunity to show you off. 

Plus, if anybody had something to say, he could always just ask you to kiss him on camera again. In fact, he decides, he’ll probably ask you even if they don’t. Because as good as showing you off felt, it didn’t feel nearly as good as showing off that you were his and he was yours.

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 8)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by ehaula, lhughes_06, and 221,793 others

y/ndevils00 well, we tried!

devils lose 3-4 against the kitties tonight, giving us 1-1-1 so far in the season…. i guess the guys just wanted to even it out as soon as possible 🤷‍♀️

uncle haula-way opened up the penalties with a minor for hooking in the first period! and we ended that period scoreless and down by deux.

it ended up being a pretty uneventful second period until the kittens brought it up to 3-0, followed up directly by TWO tripping penalties made by swiss alps. he’s been thoroughly punished by not only being benched in the third by lindy, but also by me.

third period was OUR period! captain swiss and the ratty cat got into a kerscuffle, which landed them both in the slut box. and despite the fact that the old bat benched my bestie for the restie number 2, we got THREE goals and nearly tied up the game! but we didn’t, so it’s kind of a moot point.

p.s. Dmitry Kulikov, count your days, bitch 🫵🔪

tagged dawson1417, jackhughes, ehaula, tmeier96, nicohischier, jesperbratt, and john.marino97

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jackhughes dove, you can’t OPENLY threaten players

y/ndevils00 oh. why not?

jackhughes because you could lose your job??

y/ndevils00 but.. i can still threaten them in their dm’s, right?

jackhughes no?? HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THAT?!

y/ndevils00 i feel like i should be saying no

jackhughes oh my god

nicohischier we need to do some damage control

jackhughes @/nicohischier already on it

y/ndevils00 did i do an oopsie? ☹️

jackhughes it’s okay, love. just don’t do it again, please?

dawson1417 you threatened him? for ME?! i feel so loved 🥰

y/ndevils00 AND I’D DO IT AGAIN! nobody trips my bestie but me!

dawson1417 YEAH!

dawson1417 wait what?

nicohischier you still worked the word “slut” in there but it wasn’t to describe me, so i’ll take it

y/ndevils00 i did that just to appease you, my favorite little whore 🫶

nicohischier there it is

user06 i say, let y/n threaten players!

y/ndevils00 THANK YOU! i second this!

jackhughes no

y/ndevils00 :(

nicohischier did you just call coach Ruff an “old bat” ?

y/ndevils00 yeah, and what about it?

nicohischier i-

y/ndevils00 am i WRONG??

nicohischier i’m not going to answer that

y/ndevils00 well then i know your answer! your secret is safe with me 🤫

nicohischier i DIDN’T answer??

y/ndevils00 no, but i know what it would’ve been. we have the same mind

nicohischier i strongly disagree with that

john.marino97 i didn’t get a do better tonight. are you feeling okay?

y/ndevils00 can’t talk, i’m in johnny defense mode

john.marino97 you’re in what?? what are you doing?

y/ndevils00 writing an essay

john.marino97 i’m kind of afraid to ask, but about what?

y/ndevils00 how well you were playing tonight and how you didn’t deserve to be benched

john.marino97 oh? okay? and what do you plan to do with this essay?

y/ndevils00 i just emailed it to the old man

john.marino97 you emailed it to your dad?

y/ndevils00 i thought you were supposed to be smart…

john.marino97 oh god, you sent it to lindy

y/ndevils00 i sent it to lindy!

user93 y/n may be marino’s biggest problem but she’s also his biggest defender

tmeier96 i thought the benching was bad… i think you’re gonna be in my nightmares

y/ndevils00 good. i hope that’ll remind you to behave!

tmeier96 @/jackhughes help me please

jackhughes dude, idk what you want ME to do. i can’t control her, all i can do is hope she never gets arrested

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes i would never get arrested! the cops would have to catch me and they couldn’t do that

lhughes_06 y/n, you got winded walking up 6 steps. all the cops would have to do is WALK after you

jackhughes @/lhughes_06 if they tell her they have gum, she’ll come willingly

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes gum AND handcuffs? i’m sold!

jackhughes you know you’d be put INTO the handcuffs, right? you don’t get to just have them

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes oh i know 🤭

jackhughes i think we have a lot to discuss tonight

jackhughes we also need to talk about what you should and shouldn’t be putting on the internet

[jenniferjareauwife]

I loved your writing in Pressure, I’d love you to continue it if you wanted!!

Breakup With Him

pairing: jennifer jareau x daughter reader

category: hurt/comfort

warnings: sexual pressure

word count: 764

age: 16

summary: your mom helps you finally get rid of your musty boyfriend

A few weeks had passed and I had been avoiding my boyfriend like the plague. I hadn't actually broken up with him unfortunately but I didn't want something like this to break our relationship. "Hey mom?"

"Yeah hon?"

"Can Andrew come over tonight?"

"What?" She closed her laptop and turned her full body to look at me. "Andrew your boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"That you haven't talked to in 2 weeks because he's been trying to pressure you into doing sexual stuff?"

"Yeah but-"

"No he's not coming over."

"But-"

"No. And I'm not going to apologize for it either." She stood up and walked over to me. "You said a week ago that you wanted to break up with him because it wasn't fair to you that he was treating you this way."

"But it's just one little thing. I can't let that destroy our relationship."

"Him pushing your boundaries multiple times even though you told him to stop?" I frowned and looked at the ground. "He's the one who told you it was a little thing wasn't it? He said he was going to change?"

"But he will-"

"People like him are never going to change." She sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Look, I've encountered people like him in my job so much I know them like the back of my hand. I want so much to just break up with him for you and shoot him dead, but I can't. You have to learn these things on your own."

"He's not a serial killer mom."

"He thinks he's entitled to your body. He pressures you into doing things you don't want to do for his benefit and you end up getting hurt in the end and he doesn't care." I frowned. She was right.

"He doesn't care about me?" I could barely hear myself.

"I'm sorry honey but no...he doesn't. If he did he wouldn't be treating you like this." I blinked back tears so she wouldn't see them and then looked at my phone when it buzzed. It was Andrew. He told me he was bringing condoms. I texted back and told him we wouldn't need them. He texted back and told me I never knew. "Give me your phone." My mom demanded. I gave in and handed it to her, sinking down onto the ground, holding my knees to my chest.

"I hate this." I whispered. She didn't answer, to focused on typing an essay to him. "I want to break up with him...but I love him, you know?"

"Oh honey." She hit send and then sat down next to me.

"It would be so much easier if you could break up with him for me, you know? And I get it...I understand that I have to do things by myself but I just...I can't bring myself to do it."

"Are you scared of what he's going to do if you break up with him?" I nodded and rested my cheek on my knees, looking at her. She sighed and put her arm around my shoulders. "I broke up with you for him hon."

"What?" I lifted my head up.

"Well not technically. I just told him that you were grounded and you weren't allowed to have your phone for two months and that as your mother I forbid you from seeing him ever again."

"Oh." My heartbeat slowed down a bit.

"So...so he's not gonna try to contact me for at least two months so I have time to figure out how to officially break it off with him."

"Yeah. You do." She kissed my temple softly before pulling me into a hug. I started sobbing against her chest, so grateful to have her as a mom and have her looking out for me. "Shh baby, it's ok. I've got you, everything's ok."

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me." I held her as tight as possible.

"Of course." She rubbed my back while kissing the top of my head every few seconds. "I just want to keep you safe." I sniffled and tilted my head up a bit to look at her through teary eyes. She wiped my tears away before kissing my forehead. "I'm always here for you."

"Thank you." My bottom lip trembled. I was practically shaking with gratitude and relief but it only came out through tears.

"Of course. You're my daughter, I'll always look out for you hon." She tucked my hair behind my ears before kissing my forehead again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

The most serious thing remains to be said and it is not yet today that you will find me "in love, open, melting"; it is not yet tonight that I will write to you with "joy, brightness, glory", in spite of all the forests of "olive trees of kisses" that you want to put on my face and all the mastic trees in the world! I leave for tomorrow the care to explain clearly that you did not understand anything in my last letter, to tell you that it "often" happened to me to "think coldly" to try to make you understand my "real and lucid desires" and "what is lucid" and "what is constant and true under my changes". 

This is a difficult task to carry out at a distance and quite dangerous when one thinks of the state in which you are reduced. For, my dear love, with your strength and health, with your "fatal and vigorous air", I see with pleasure that you are also recovering your good, solid, Algerian stupidity. Oh! I understand! I understand so many things, and you are constantly emptying yourself, my poor darling! I know! You work! Your essay must exhaust a great deal of your intellectual strength! And then, the rest, isn't it, it's tiring! But don't worry, go on! The little glimmer will come back to shine in the depths of your thoughts and one day - oh miracle! - I will speak to you in half a word... and... you will understand! I am changeable! O rock! 

Since you left, you have spent your time asking me for some reason not to write to you if it would tire or annoy me or torture me or... I don't know what. When, by chance, one day, you don't receive any news, it's a debacle, doubts, dark ideas of the future, more doubts, madness! And you find my letters mean, when, having received from you, for a week, only two small ones every other day I complain at last that the mail is not working well! Since you left, you have been telling me to live as much as I can, to go out, to entertain myself, etc. Now, because I'm going to spend two miserable hours in Iberia, dragged along in spite of myself by some nice friends, and I drink a whiskey and dance a rumba you dare to write to me: "Poor me!" That's all that you found to say to encourage me to start again and as you feel that, I have to spend my energies somewhere and not completely wither. You now advise me to take up SPORT! And the SWIMMING POOL! I hate it! No! But... Do you want to make me die! Do you want to make me catch double pneumonia? The pool! In this cold! And where to find time to go to the pool! But what is the matter with you! 

I can see your face if one day I follow your advice word for word and you receive a letter in which I praise you with warmth (as far as possible!), the joys of swimming, of naked and wet bodies, of water on the skin, wet hair and glances lost on a pair of beautiful legs! Ah, well, if I didn't have other things to worry about, I'd make the effort of swallowing a few sips of chlorine, just for the result! It would be pretty! Notice that while you're feeling sorry for yourself and [complaining] about yourself, you are tasting whiskey, wandering through dances and noticing American women who want to do you good! It is perfect!!! But that's still nothing! Not only are you stupid as a sink, unfair, a pain in the ass (I hope you understand the meaning of this word, which I can't write in full) but, to make matters worse, you are naughty! - I am copying exactly one of your sentences: "You would do the worst things, and against our very love, despite a suffering that I am physically afraid of because I know it so well, I would still love you and stay close to you."

I thank you, my darling, for the general meaning of the sentence, but since I think you love me, I never doubted that it was so. It seems to me obvious that at the point we have reached, errors or blindness of a certain kind can no longer do anything more against our union than to cause excruciating suffering. I am less grateful to you for the little parenthesis "so much I know her". It seems to me that you exaggerate or distort. But all these little impressions disappear before the enormity that follows: "These are reckless words (in all respects) and before pronouncing them I thought a lot about them." How about that! The very fact of speaking of imprudence in a love like ours amazes me, but the parenthesis (again!) that allows me to believe that I could use your words to consider myself free to do things against our love, that is beyond anything else! That is beyond the worst that one can imagine! 

But no! I must not get angry! I must not! It is always the rest, your fatal and vigorous air, your trial, that are the cause of everything! You are stupid, my poor darling! And you have to wait for it to pass! That is all. Ah! I am beginning to feel lighter. As I told you, I leave the serious things for tomorrow, because tonight it is already 2 o'clock and my day has been hard. All this is exhausting and I am tired. 

Good evening, Algerian! Good evening, my love, my beautiful love beast. Good evening, my darling. Curled up in you, your legs mixed with mine (alas if it could be true!) I will fall asleep and try to dream of a pool where you would be lying, fresh and wet, against me. I love you. I love you. I would also like to hold you in my arms and watch you sleep. You see how chaste I am! Unfortunately I believe that I would wake you up slowly, but quickly! See you tomorrow, my darling.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, February 14, 1950 [#193]

[choicesficwriterscreations]

November Creator of the Month: Lizzybeth1986

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @lizzybeth1986 We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr?

Lizzy, absolutely 😁

*Center art by @sazanes

More below...

When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I started playing mid 2017, I think. I played the flagship books (TF, TCaTF, MW), and def preferred TF at the time.

When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Tumblr fandom in 2017, around the time of the TRR finale. Mostly because the Liam hate at the time was intense and I wanted to write metas about why Liam was, in fact, not “a dick who betrayed the MC” 😂

I did have a Tumblr account before that (made it in 2015 to follow Bollywood film posts), but never actually used it.

How did you pick your blog name?

I was lazy af so it was my middle name plus my birth year haha

Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it! 

I started out with a couple reblogs, but my first actual post was about the romance points mechanism in TRR1. There was a point in the middle of the book where one nice word to Drake would give you an automatic romance point, and I was like, “Huh??? Either treat him like shit or risk him catching feels for me? Is that how it is???”. Thankfully, that stopped after two chapters. After that, I did an essay series analyzing Liam’s actions in the finale called “The Crown, The King and The Flame.” Romance Points Post The Crown and the Flame

How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Almost 6 years now! I started doing Liam fics around the beginning of TRR2.

What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

I’m the most invested in TRR and PM, but between the two I’d probably say PM is my fave book overall. But yeah, my favourite book to write about would be TRR, because Liam, Hana and Kiara are such fantastic characters to write about! (Hayden and Sloane, too, but I’m still in the process of getting comfortable writing them).

Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

It was Keychains, my two part fic series featuring my MC and Liam. It was set around the time the MC was waiting in the airport in TRR2, just before Maxwell and Bertrand intervene. It had a follow up with Liam’s PoV too.

I really like it. It included some really good hc’s I made at the time, like Esther buying an apple keychain to represent Cordonia at the same time, and Liam calling her his wife in Greek and Esther not realizing what the phrase meant. I thought the pathos and slight humour was quite well-done. I can’t think of much I would want to change in the story.

Keychains 1 Keychains 2

What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

As a series – Eleanor’s Kitchen! It’s ongoing, and it’s a joy to write. I love exploring food from a cultural lens, and since Cordonia was a fictional country, I could explore a variety of ethnicities and food cultures. Liam had a literal diamond scene that explored gastrodiplomacy, and I wanted to explore his childhood and Eleanor’s friendships too.

Individually – I would say my Kiara fic “An Ear to the Ground”. Kiara is a delightful character and exploring the social season through her eyes was a real journey! I also love “The Stars (Are Out Tonight)” which explores the early days of the Sloane & Hayden friendship. I used asterisms and constellations to symbolize moments in their friendship.

Eleanor's Kitchen An Ear to the Ground The Stars (Are Out Tonight)

Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

Cordonian Waltz was definitely a surprise in terms of reception!! It was written in the style of headcanons I was seeing at the time, and I wrote it in second person. It became my most widely-read fanfic very fast, and every once in a while it would experience a major surge in readership. I enjoyed writing it and thought it was a lovely, romantic piece, but I really wasn’t expecting it to finally have 250+ reblogs out of it, and people coming and telling me this was the fic that got them into Liam x MC in the first place. I find that deeply gratifying 😍

There’s a lot of fics that I feel need more engagement and appreciation, but I can understand that those characters also don’t exactly get much of an audience. My entire PM set comes under this category; they typically get low readership. I think my Hana and Kiara fics too could do with more of an audience.

@twinkleallnight once told me that when she reads my stuff, she usually takes a long time just to ruminate on the story, and I like to believe that often, that’s why the engagement isn’t always immediate. Which I like too!! I like that some of my stuff can make people stop and think, and I like to believe that over time, the work will have its own impact.

Cordonian Waltz PM Set

If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Probably fluff but with a lot of observation and sometimes somber reflections. I’m not that great with angst…and I’ve never actually tried smut? But maybe one day 😄

Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Yes! Some of my MCs are v different from me but I always incorporate something from my life experiences in them. Like Esther taking photos of the sunset or Basil not being science oriented but still having an interest in space.

Character wise I find I put a lot of myself into a lot of the characters I write. Notably, Liam, Hana, Kiara, certain Haydens and Sloane. Liam’s love for learning, different aspects of Hana and Kiara’s experiences as queer women, Sloane’s experiences as a neurodivergent woman, and especially my Scholar!Hayden’s (Iris) observations. I tend to incorporate a lot of my feelings and experiences more into certain canonical characters than in MCs.

What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Dialogue, I think. Especially when it’s a character I don’t relate to that much. But also sometimes when it’s a character I love but am only starting to write because then I really overthink it!

Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Hmm…probably neglected wouldn’t be the word I’d use…I just take a very long time to kickstart them 😂

But yeah, definitely my Petals and Thornes series? That’s the fic series I’m doing for Hana x Kiara, that is supposed to explore TRR2 and 3 from their PoV (with significant changes). So far I’ve only been able to do some one-shots and hcs in that universe, but I do want to start the actual series soon!

I have some essay series’ I’d love to work on too! My Hana essay series which has two essays left, The Hayden Young Project, and a possible series on the alternative Lis of TRR!

Petals and Thornes Hana Lee: A Study in Erasure

If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Hmm. A few people have asked me, actually, and while I’m not fully opposed to showing them I’ll probably take some time before I do show my work. I’ll probably overthink how much will be understandable to a reader who doesn’t have the context of the source, and what they may not understand.

What to show them first? I’m not sure! Maybe the smaller ones first, like Cordonian Waltz. Or my RCD fic Snowstorms, because it doesn’t have more than 2-3 canon characters featuring and I do talk a little about being a closeted queer teen figuring out their sexuality through cinema, which is an overall relatable experience to some! Snowstorms

Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

In my early years I used to emulate Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni’s style. Much of her work that I read as a teen was pretty flowery, sometimes bordering on purple prose, and I really loved that style and tried to go that way. But now I think a variety of writers from different genres inform my writing. In terms of published authors, Jhumpa Lahiri, Helen Hoang, and non-fiction ones like Rukmini Pande, Ruby Hammad and Mikki Kendall.

In Choices fic, @callmetippytumbles for sure – a lot of the questions she was tackling with her MC in her Home series served as inspiration for some of the ideas I’ve been having in mind for Petals and Thornes. @thefirstcourtesan is a great writing buddy to have, too, and she has a knack for saying a lot in very few words! There’s also my amazing group of friends (shoutout to @cassiopeiacorvus, @thecapturedafrique, @mand-delemonde, and @beyonceswigs, as well as @twinkleallnight , @dcbbw @mariemarieohcontrary , @choicesfrog, @grapecaseschoices and @ohsnapitzlovehacker…the discussions are so good and leave some much to think about afterward 💖💖). All these discussions ALWAYS fuel my ideas and make me think out of the box.

I’ve also recently started writing polyamorous characters and relationships, and @angelasscribbles stories and resources have been such a great help in navigating that!

Home

@angelasscribbles Poly Resources

Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Haha! I’ve not even started the proper series yet but I think Petals and Thornes? But besides that maybe Eleanor’s Kitchen may work as a series idk 😄

Do you write original fiction?

I do try! I’ve done a few short stories but before I started fanfic, I did a lot of spoken word poetry and that was fun.

What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, watching video essays, spending months on hyperfixations 😂 and a little cooking. My kid’s gotten into craft recently and has succeeded in taking me down that rabbit hole too haha.

I used to be into making fruit wines but have gotten inconsistent with that over the years.

What’s your favorite emoji?

Because I have a huuuge thing for nerds – this one: 🤓

BONUS – tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

A story my mum often tells about how I got into writing, began with some good old-fashioned sibling rivalry. Apparently as a child I was notorious for writing things on the walls of our house. One day my older brother got a hardbound royal-blue covered notebook to write in, with gold lettering on the cover…and I got instantly jealous that I didn’t get one (I was 6 or 7 and already fond of telling stories). When I complained my mum made me a deal – she would get me the same notebook…IF I stopped writing on the walls and began writing in that instead 😂 It worked. My mother is a smart woman.

I love spoilers!! I will read the end of a novel I’m reading and then go back and read the rest. Sometimes I even read books all the way backwards lol.

I love romance, and my favorite tropes include second-chance romance and mutual pining while believing the other person will never love you back! Because, at heart, I’m a dramatic bitch.

[ask-everafteracademy]

Lucas and MMC Guilty as Sin? Analysis

When I first heard this track it immediately became one of my favorites on the album, the lyrics felt very forbidden love/star crossed lovers and so my brain made the connection back to EAA. I felt a lot of the lyrics could relate to Lucas’s route from his perspective, and the more I listened to the song, the more sure I was of it. Please enjoy my no doubt senseless yapping. I’ve decided to break the segments up into “themes” where I’ll include the lyrics and my thought.

Here’s the link to the song if anyone wants to give it a listen: https://youtu.be/OOYlWF6V8t8?si=R5QBsL-ANQ6F27Fd

Also shoutout @megatraven for hyping me up on this I’m sorry it took so long😭

CW: The lyrics being analyzed contain blatant sexual themes (idk if that’s a concern for this fandom but figured I’d include it)

The first section will be focused on Lucas’s duty to the crown

My boredom’s bone deep

This cage was once just fine

Lucas was born out of necessity, his father needed an heir. He was raised being told he would inherit a kingdom, and it never registered for him that he could be something else until MMC asks him what he would want to do with his life.

I dream of cracking locks

Throwing my life to the wolves

Or the ocean rocks

Crashing into him tonight

When Lucas is with MMC, it’s the first time he’s allowed to consider a life outside of being king, to turn his back on it and live with the love of his life in the lighthouse by the sea (also insert obligatory wolf joke with Ezra)

Am I allowed to cry?

This line makes me think a lot about that one scene after the battle with the Warlock where MMC tells Lucas that crying doesn’t make him weak (I cried). He’s being unconditioned from his harmful upbringing through unconditional love and while it may scare him he trusts MMC enough to be vulnerable with him (I could write an essay on that scene alone but I digress)

He’s a paradox

I’m seeing visions, am I bad?

Or mad? Or wise?

He’s never felt such strong devotion towards someone and it makes him question everything he has learned

This leads me into the next section, a focus on his relationship with MMC in his first two seasons (the pining/situationship stages, if you will)

I keep these longings locked

In lowercase inside a vault

Someone told me

There’s no such thing as bad thoughts

Only your actions talk

Lucas feels obligated to make his quest against the Warlock his priority and is guilty over his feelings for MMC, making excuses for himself to justify pushing his feelings aside

These fatal fantasies

Giving way to labored breath

Taking all of me

We’ve already done it in my head

I swear I remember there being a line where Lucas admits to fantasizing about MMC (i wanna say season 3? I’ll have to check). Anyway, the notion of “fatal” fantasies is pertinent, they’re all consuming, his feelings for MMC are all consuming and “distracting”(😏) him from his quest

I keep recalling things we never did

Messy top lip kiss

How I long for our trysts

Without ever touching his skin

How can I be guilty as sin?

This line could go either way for them tbh, it feels like their mid season 2 situationship era, the knowing glances and stolen kisses while avoiding the question of what it means (Alexa play Casual by Chappell Roan /hj)

Of course, they’re able to work through these issues (yippee). But when passion and infatuation becomes love and devotion, they have a new warlock to face: their contradicting futures

If it’s make believe

Why does it feel like a vow

We’ll both uphold somehow?

Despite their destinies leaving them in separate realms, Lucas and MMC are determined to make their love and the time they have left together last (even if they feel less hopeful for their future)

What if the way you hold me

Is actually what’s holy?

Lucas is left wondering if being his father’s heir will satisfy him as much as his relationship with MMC does, making him question where his loyalties lie

If long suffering propriety

Is what they want from me

They don’t know how you’ve haunted me

So stunningly

I choose you and me

…Religiously

This is the scene in the rose garden (another scene I could write an essay on). Lucas’s realization that he never wanted the throne, finally making the choice to live with the love of his life in the lighthouse by the sea (good for him)

ANNNNDDDDD that’s what I got for you! I’m trying to be better at not letting stuff sit and collect dust, but I hope this was worth the wait! And even if it wasn’t, I hope it brought you some enjoyment. I would love to do more of these at some point (and hopefully with much less delay)

- Lightkeeper

[cha1cedony]

CSOTD! Ummm. Thinking about Lincoln ‘Boss’ M. Kicks Li-Wilson etc. tonight. What else is new

I could write for a very long time about the Wilson family and the divide between childhood and adulthood etc., but I think it’s an especially big motif for Lincoln. He really was never young.

Even as a baby, I’m sure he had some kind of physical trauma from nearly being trampled on a sinking ship, and from being separated from his mother so suddenly, and from being unadjusted to the food and water and air and perpetual darkness of the 2040s. Kids don’t consciously remember trauma that happened to them as babies, but they can still have reactions for years, never understanding why they’re so upset.

Growing up, he was almost exclusively surrounded by adults. Outside of video games and soccer (Grant’s hobbies), everything else he did for fun was with his parents or his grandparents or their adult friends (trains, bridge, dance, probably others I’m forgetting). But at the same time, his helicopter dads treated him like he was even younger than he was: like their trick-or-treating costumes lol, plus a million other examples I can’t be bothered to list rn. Not sure how much of that was because they wanted to keep him safe and how much was because they wanted to do encourage him to do whatever he wanted to do, which were often childish things. I’d like to believe it was mostly the latter (and obviously they had good intentions with the former; it just ended up being overbearing, etc.) Idk dog this isn’t a treatise on the Li-Wilsons. I’m just writing of my silly song posts dog. (I’ll probably write the aforementioned treatise someday though lol, but @//babacontainsmultitudes wrote a really good one a few weeks ago)

And of course the simulation. He’s already lived a full adult life. I feel like we forget how early in the season that was, too! Literally S2E2! He didn’t change much externally after that episode, but I can only imagine what he was going through internally after that. And then Tony Pepperoni’s death. The parallels to Grant’s ‘becoming a man’ with the chimera in S1. Urgh

Okay this is getting incoherent now and I have a stomach ache and have to edit this essay but. Yeah ^_^ Good Link song LMAOO

[1overbaby]

Admit you already are.

If you are trying to become someone, because you understand that means you will be the person who has your desire, then guess what. You already are admitting you are the one who has their desire. Think about it. To try to get, means you secretly, implicitly know that you are capable of being the person who has it. Otherwise, why put in the hard work and the effort to try and attain it? If you truly did not think you were capable of being that person, you simply would not even try. You know you can become it. Let’s accept this first.

Let’s take this a step further. That means you already are it. You already are that person. You’re making the mistake of trying to become it instead of realising you already ARE it. It is about self realisation. It is simply that easy! You realise you already are that person - that is how you change self. You gently accept you already are it.

Example: I understand, with loa, that I can be with sp. I accept that and try to become the person who has that sp. This hard work and effort indicates to me that I know I can become that person, I have the potential within me to become irresistible, loved, chosen, valued. That’s why I am trying, no? Otherwise if I truly believed i cannot be chosen or valued, why would i even try?

INSTEAD -> i understand, with loa, that i already have sp, because creation is finished. If i already have sp, that means i already am the person who is irresistible, loved, chosen and valued. All i must do is realise that and accept that i am. That is all you have to do. And continue living, with that acceptance (being).

Example: i understand, perhaps not even with loa, but in general, that i can go to my dream university. I try and work hard to become the person that the university would accept.

INSTEAD -> why not just skip the trying? If i know that with hard work i can become the intelligent, chosen student - then i must accept that i already know that i am that person. I just haven’t embodied them yet. If i know i can be chosen and intelligent and smart, it means i have critical thinking skills, i work smart, i am good at writing essays, all the stuff, already! I just need to realise this, and tap into that.

Having it indicates who you are. You do not become to have.

Say my mother walks into my room right now and says she bought me a new iPhone, and it’s waiting for me downstairs (i now have an iPhone). At first instinct, what do i do? I accept i have a new iPhone. Then, questions may arise such as: why? Since when? How? What for?

All of these questions, i first answer internally (without realising, sometimes) and the answers depend on my self concept. ‘Oh, because i am cherished and my mother loves spoiling me! Awh it doesn’t matter when, i am grateful she went out of her way to surprise me. I am so loved and spoiled, that’s what for!’ Something along the lines of that in whatever way you think. I don’t literally say these in my head. Not all the time at least. Sometimes i just feel that about myself.

The how, when and why does not matter since i already now have this iPhone. I just quickly feel whatever i feel about those questions, and then in imagination enjoy the feeling of having an iPhone. I may begin to imagine using it, what my friends will say about it, what lockscreen I’m gonna use, how fancy I’d feel with it! I’m already onto the next, while feeling gratitude for my mother for gifting me it.

How to apply this in daily life? -> gentle acceptance.

If i say to myself that i have my sp. It means i already have it. Say my sp walks into the room right now and says ‘I love you. Dinner tonight at 8?’ At first instance I’d just accept that i have my sp in love with me, and i am going on a date with him, because he wants to be with me! Then, questions may arise. And I’d feel the answers within based on my self concept. ‘If I’ve been asked on a date, and i am with my sp now, then it simply must mean i am irresistible! I am wanted, valued and chosen.’ I do not fight them, do i? Because it has happened - sp is mine. It would be silly to contradict myself. Instead, i gently accept these about me.

NOW. The example of my mother walking into the room, and my sp asking me out: YOU DO THIS IN THE 4D! This is what going to the end mean, and accepting you have your end, IN THE 4D. Then, accept that this already means you must be loved, chosen and valued ALREADY. IT ALREADY IS SO. I do not first BECOME loved to be asked out or spoiled. I simple AM loved and spoiled already within, which is why i have these things! Once i accept it already has HAPPENED - I live enjoying it with gratitude.

GO TO THE END, IF U HAVE A DESIRE - THAT MEANS YOU ALREADY HAVE IT. AND IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT, GENTLY ACCEPT THAT YOU ALREADY ARE THE PERSON WHO HAS IT. YOU ALREADY ARE.

[earth2pearl]

Chapter 2: Don’t Cry

Chapter 1

—

“Regulus, please tell me this is a cruel joke.”

“I know Dora. I know,” Regulus replied, desperately choking back a sob.

“Regulus-” she began but stopped at the expression blurring the boy’s features. Whilst opening her arms, she whispered pitifully, “come here.”

Regulus let her pull him in and wrap herself around his subtly shaking frame. The tears brimming in his eyes slowly began to escape, trickling down the boy’s cheeks.

“I know it’s selfish to lie to him. I just want a glimpse of what it would be like. I want to know what it would be like to be loved by him. I know I’m going to get hurt Dora, I know. But I’ll at least get a chance to feel it, even if it’s only for a little while.”

Pandora only nodded, holding Regulus tightly while he wept. She would murder James for the hell he’d unintentionally put Regulus through, but she knew he meant well, and Regulus would only be devastated. She settled on simply being there for him.

—

James nearly tripped sprinting up the Gryffindor stairwell, too giddy to care. He accidentally slammed the door into the wall, causing the two boys lounging on Sirius’ bed to nearly jump out of their skin. He graced them with a burning smile.

“He agreed!”

“You’re lying,” Sirius called in disbelief.

“Swear to Merlin I'm not,” he shot back with a large, dopey grin.

Sirius made eye contact with Remus, giving him an odd look James had yet to see before. He sighed lightly, then turned back to the oblivious boy.

“What exactly did he say?”

“‘Okay’”

Sirius mulled this over in his head, blindsided by his brother’s agreeance to James’ plan.

“Are you sure this is going to work, Prongs?”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t,” he replied, clueless to the tone of Sirius’ voice. “I’m going to meet him in the astronomy tower tonight. In the meantime, I will be in the library attempting to write my potions essay.”

The messy-haired boy strutted out of the dorm, leaving Remus and Sirius alone again.

“I forgot how fucking oblivious he is sometimes,” Sirius spat, curling back into Remus with a sigh.

“I know, Darling. Should we put a stop to this?” he replied whilst stroking a hand down his lover’s back.

“No, I don’t think. Regulus would have said no if he didn’t want to get tangled in that mess. I know my brother, even through the distance. He knows how to handle himself.”

“Alright, Darling.”

—

The day came and went, night soon falling across the grounds. Regulus got to the tower early, sitting on the edge and leaning his head on his arms that gently pressed into the railing. Soon footsteps could be heard from the stairwell; Regulus tensed, unsure if he should try to bolt or follow through with the plan. Before he could decide the messy-haired boy came through the door. Regulus stiffened, fighting the urge to face him.

“Hello darling,” James cooed.

Regulus’ heart painfully clenched in his chest.

“Took you long enough,” he spat with a wince.

He hoped James didn't notice.

“I’m on time-“

“Late,” Regulus reiterated, peeling his eyes away from the stars, finally turning to survey the other man. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

“Right, well. I wanted to set up some boundaries to make sure we were both comfortable for the foreseeable future. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything throughout this. If you want to back out at any point that's perfectly fine. I'd like to come out of this as friends, not enemies. Trust me when I say that's the last thing I want to happen.”

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Reasonable. What did you have in mind?”

“I’m okay with pretty much everything that comes along with a relationship, but I’m assuming you aren’t a big fan of public displays of affection.”

From you? I’d love it

“You would be correct, but that might defeat the whole purpose of doing this, no?”

“Right… Well, is there anything you are completely against?”

“I’m okay with public affection as long as we aren’t virtually procreating out in the great hall and such.” He paused before adding, “Oh, and no real kisses.”

Regulus was not about to admit it, but he’d never had his first kiss. He wanted it to be special. It was childish, he knew that, but it didn't hurt to hope.

Right?

A bright grin spread over James face.

“No fucking in the Great Hall or kisses. Got it.”

Regulus facepalmed.

—

“Good morning Lovely!” James called from down the hallway, causing Regulus’ heart to leap out of his chest.

He whipped around to face the voice, getting slightly dizzy from moving so fact.

“Christ James, what are you doing down here?”

“I wanted to escort my boyfriend to breakfast,” he explained with a grin, moving beside the shorter boy to link their arms together.

Regulus tensed, and James pulled away slightly.

“Unless you’d rather otherwise?” he asked with a subtle pout.

“No, this is okay.”

“Are you sure?”

Regulus wanted to melt at the sight of James’ slightly tilted head.

“Yes.”

James beamed down at Regulus, causing his insides to twist into tight knots. He felt he might puke, which worsened when James pulled him in close. A burning warmth spread in Regulus’ chest.

After a few paces the burn subsided, a comforting warmth blanketing him. Regulus fought a smile.

“Will you be doing this daily?” Regulus asked, praying the hint of hopefulness embedded within his words went unnoticed.

“If you’d like me too, sweetheart,” James answered with calm ease.

Regulus’ insides somersaulted.

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” he nonchalantly affirmed.

“Then it’s settled. Every morning I’ll greet you in the corridor outside the Slytherin portrait.”

The rest of the trek to the great hall was done in silence, Regulus slowly becoming relaxed in the scalding atmosphere of James.

Upon their arrival, the glasses-clad man made a show of opening the door for his faux boyfriend and planting a fake kiss on his hairline. He hovered so close Regulus could feel his warm breath. In a pretend reluctance, they parted ways, Regulus trudging over to where he knew he’d be drowned in questions.

“Regulus. Arcturus. Black. What the fuck was that?” Barty demanded in a hushed spat through gritted teeth.

Regulus hadn't even fully sat yet.

“Hm?” he hummed in faux innocence, sitting between Dorcas and Evan.

“Don’t act like what we just saw was our imagination Regulus,” Evan interjected, anger coating his features.

Regulus scooted toward Dorcas; Evan and Barty were unpredictable, and he didn't enjoy being caught off guard.

The nervous boy threw Pandora a glance, his expression begging for help.

“Looks like our darling Black has a boyfriend,” she sighed sweetly.

Regulus made a mental note to buy her sweets and quills next Hogsmeade visit.

“Finally someone else here is dating a Gryffindor. It’s so annoying to hide,” Dorcas called, hiding by taking a long sip from her mug.

The group fell into silence, all four heads turning to look at the girl. Regulus was relieved to be out of the group's focus.

“What?” she asked innocently.

“Cas who are you-“

“No fucking way-“

“Marlene?”

“Yes, Marlene my beloveds. I’m surprised none of you noticed, she’s impossible to keep subdued. Sneaking her into our dorm was always a chall-”

“She’s been in our dorm and I didn’t know?” Pandora asked with a frown. “Cas why did you hide? We tell each other everything.”

The three boys backed off, pretending to lose interest in the conversation and focusing on their plates.

“I was nervous. I wanted to tell you, but she’s a Gryffindor and I didn’t know if you’d care.”

“Why would that matter if you’re happy? I only care that you’re happy.”

The two girls stared at each other for a while before Dorcas cracked a huge smile. She turned back to address everyone.

“I’ll guess I’ll have to introduce her to you guys. Barty, you’re going to love her.”

—

When Regulus exited his first class of the day, James was waiting outside the door.

“Hello lovely,” he cooed sweetly.

Regulus looked quite surprised, and James briefly thought it was endearing. He shook the thought from his head, confused as to where it even came from.

“I was wondering if you could write down your timetable for me. I had to ask so many people what class you would be in; Marlene of all people knew.”

“What for?” Regulus asked suspiciously.

“So I can plan my route accordingly,” James beamed back.

“Do you plan to walk me to each of my classes?”

James noticed what he thought was a hint of hope in the other boy’s voice but thought nothing of it.

“Of course, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

The slight blush James had seen only a day ago was back, and he caught himself thinking it was quite lovely against Regulus’ faint freckles. When did Regulus become so charming to him? James shook the thoughts from his head a bit more aggressively. Regulus gave him strange look.

“I’ll give it to you after my next class; I have charms now,” Regulus replied, his voice slightly damp.

Before James could reply, he caught sight of the red-headed girl he was after. Regulus must have seen her as well; James felt him tense.

But something felt off. Her hair didn’t seem as vibrant anymore, and her smile was the same as others. Her burning aura that James usually basked in felt a bit too hot when she passed. James shook his head yet again, a weird feeling settling in his stomach. He’d have to contemplate that later.

Soon the two boys were at the charms classroom, and James pretended to plant a kiss on the back of Regulus’ hand before parting ways. If he sprinted, he could make it to potions in time.

—

Regulus was insanely bored. He’d learned all these charms when he was 10; his parents wanted him to have an advantage. He cast a wordless tempas, groaning at the clock. Dorcas looked over at him in annoyance, jealous of his deep understanding when it came to Magic. If only she knew where it came from.

Regulus was turning to look away when the classroom door burst open, a man with similar features waltzing in.

“Regulus Arcturus Black!” he shouted, his best friend stumbling in behind him.

“Sirius stop!” he called, reaching to pull the other man back and failing miserably. “Regulus I’m so sor-“

“My best mate? You’re with my best mate? What the fuck!”

Regulus would have been worried if it wasn't for the shit-eating grin spread across the other boys face.

“You interrupted my lessons to state the obvious?” he drawled, looking uninterested.

“It’s because you missed me,” Sirius declared.

“What?”

“Admit it. You’re only dating James because you miss your favorite person in the whole world: me.”

Sirius’ words hit Regulus like a ton of bricks. He missed Sirius more than anything.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have charms to learn.”

His words were missing their usual venom, instead filled with fondness and a tint of hope.

Sirius was satisfied with this answer, nodding his head and bidding farewell to the class. So what if he lost 100 points for Gryffindor? He had gotten what he wanted: his brother to give him a sign that he missed him too.

James just wishes he picked any other time to do it.

—

Chapter 3

Sorry this took me so long, I’ve had a rough few days. Cramming for the ACT is no fun. I'm sorry if any of the writing here is a bit funky I was rushing.

Thank you for reading!

[xnchxntmxnt]

please tell me this one is gonna send 🥹

HI VIC!! i’m here to join your Valentines + 2 years + 700 followers event :D (albeit a little late,,, i’m gonna throe a brick through tumblr’s hq windows /j)

i’m Poe, they/she pronouns!! personality-wise, i’m kinda awkward when i first meet people, but i typically warm up after i gauge their personality and spend like two weeks around them. i generally prefer interactions with lighthearted atmospheres. i’m big on physical touch, quality time, and gift giving, but i absolutely hate receiving gifts. roughly 60% of my personality is music, whether that’s listening or playing it. i’m also very food motivated. you could probably bribe me into marriage with food tbh

about my hobbies!! i love playing saxophone, marching, painting, sketching, listening to music, watching video essays on youtube, and writing from time to time! i tend to write poetry, but i do occasionally write more. my hobbies are probably my least interesting feature ngl :O

some date ideas i really like: aquarium/zoo date, concert (orchestra or ensemble) date, and hiking/geocaching date.

aaaand i’d like a matchup from demon slayer!!

love you sm vic /p and again congrats on 700 and two years!!

kjbgkjhbjk thank u for ur patience with this im so sorry

anyway. love ya hope you enjoy

your valentine's date is... KYOJURO RENGOKU

Honestly i think he really enjoys music too

I believe in rengoku & hearing loss hcs (unsure if its canon or not??) but even if he struggles to hear all of it, if its loud enough he likes the vibrations 

And he knows you enjoy it so he loves it

Anything for you

He knows how to be classy too

So he says to dress nice and he’s picking you up at 6

You guys head to a nicer restaurant for dinner and spend quite a while talking and chatting and then you head to the show (that is a surprise)

So walking into the concert hall is a shock and its so pretty with the golds and warm browns of the stage its just. Mmmph i love theaters and older buildings like this theyre so pretty

The orchestra takes the stage and begins to play, and you sit entranced for the hour or so they do

And he does the same, but he’s entranced by you

You’ve got stars in your eyes and honestly he adores it

The rest of the night afterward is full of you listening to tall that music on the trip home and him smiling listening to you talk about how much you enjoyed the night

He’s not doing a lot of talking but he’s just looking at you so, so in love 

Little blurb afterward because i said so. Also because domestic kyojuro rights 

“Thank you again for taking me out tonight, Kyo.”

“Of course, my dear! Did you enjoy yourself?”

“I think the last twenty minutes of me talking about it says something about the fact that I did.”

“Wonderful!”

The two of you are getting around to go to bed, him finishing brushing his teeth and you sitting on the counter waiting for him. He smiles at you softly, and you notice a bit of toothpaste on the corner of his mouth. 

“Hold still,” you say, reaching forward to wipe it off. He does as you ask, smiling softly at you when you wipe it off on the hand towel. “All better.”

“Thank you, my love,” he says, tone a bit softer than usual. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Of course. I love you, too.”

He hums in response, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, then the tip of your nose, then finally your lips. His hands find yours while you sit on the counter, and he squeezes them gently. “Let’s go to bed,” he mutters, leaving a final peck on your lips. 

As he walks away, you realize (as if you hadn’t before) just how really lovely he is. 

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

070 of 2023

What’s your definition of weird?

Beautiful.

Do you use shaving cream?

I mean, I only shave my face and maybe somewhere else, but sure.

When was the last time you cleaned your room? Is your room clean?

Yesterday and nope, but it looks better already.

Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head?

I know one who had to have her head shaved for the same reason as me. I met her in the hospital last year.

Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide?

Yes. It’s a painful story, he was only 16, but severely mentally ill.

Have you ever tried to commit suicide?

No, but I used to think about it.

Have you ever coughed up blood?

No, never.

How do you wish you could die?

Dying is overrated, I want to be immortal.

What’s the longest phone conversation you’ve had lately?

Five minutes, no kidding. Too long for me already.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

My husband.

What were the last words you said?

“Ik hou van je” ^.^

Who was the last person you hugged?

Also my husband.

Do you have any apps on your Facebook? If so, what?

I don’t use Facebook.

What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt?

Pain after surgeries. Horrible.

What kind of mouse pad do you have?

The green one, from ACV.

What color is your mouse?

White and grey, it’s wireless.

Do you or have you ever had an eating disorder?

Yeah, I do. Sadly.

Do you think you’re fat?

All the time.

Do you know any who might be anorexic? Do you know anyone who has bulimia?

Some people over the internet forums, but no one in person. I do have EDNOS, though.

Did you ever want a pony when you were little?

Yeah, I used to. But when I was very little.

What’s your favorite cheese?

Gouda, but young. Dutch chreese ftw.

What’s your favorite cake?

Cheesecake, but I’m not a big fan of cakes.

What are you having/what did you have for dinner tonight?

Chicken wings and fries.

What’s your favorite dessert food?

I don’t like dessert.

What’s your favorite candy?

I don’t like sweets.

Have you ever had a Nos?

What’s that even? A olish word for nose? If so, then everybody does, I suppose.

How long have you been taking this survey?

Too long already.

What are you listening to right now?

There’s TV in the background, as usual.

What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive?

My older cat.

What’s your worst fear?

Failure and losing.

Are you an outcast?

Kind of, but not 100%, I’d say.

Do you exercise?

Every day. I walk a lot and I work on my arms.

Do you hate it when people repeat themselves?

Nah. I do it as well XD

Do you say like a lot?

Yeah, like... You see :P

What’s your favorite carnival food? (cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cake)

Fries and frikandels, but you can get them in every fries shop. We don’t have anything separate for carnivals :P

Do you have a good memory?

Nah, my memory is horrible. At least short-term. My long-term memory, as in things I’ve been studying, is great.

Do you dislike writing school essays?

I hate it. I have no literacy skills, really.

Are you a very open-minded person?

I am. In my eyes, everyone is equal. I’m not judgemental either.

Are you modest?

More than I should be, possibly.

What kind of guys/girls do you usually fall for?

With good personalities. For appearance, I don’t seem to have a type. All I need is beautiful, expressive eyes.

Do you skate?

I don’t, but it sounds fun.

Are you in a band?

Nope. It was my dream when I was, like, 12.

Can you play the guitar? If not, what other instrument do you play?

I don’t. You need two good hands for it, and I’m physically disabled.

If you were to make it big with your own band, what would its name be?

Mzake it big... that’s commercial. No.

What’s your favorite kind of pasta?

Penne. But most of all, I like that mushroom tomato one from Bavet.

Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there?

Either. Both sound fun.

What’s the perfect first date?

Guys night in a pub, with lots of beer.

Have you ever had rabies?

It’s deadly, I wouldn’t be tyoping here if I had it.

Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot?

My mum because she got bitten by a dog.

Have you ever gone hunting?

No, but it doesn’t sound appealing to me.

Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb?

Duck and lamb. Duck is okay, lamb I difdn’t like much.

Are you a vegetarian?

As close to it as possible. Not fully, though.

Do you know any vegetarians? What about vegans?

I do, but not in person.

Do you know what a vegan is? How about fruititarian?

Do you think people are stupid?

What’s your favorite search engine?

Google by default, but it doesn’t mean I like it.

Internet Explorer or Firefox? Safari or Firefox?

Opera, yup.

Do you have hair in your nose?

Doesn’t everyone to some extent?

How long, in miles, is the width of your fingernail?

In miles? Maybe in kilometres?

Are you a math wiz?

Yeah, but I prefer physics anyway.

What’s your favorite subject?

Physics, as I said.

What is your locker number at school? Do you have a lock on your locker?

I’m not in school, I do work, our work lockers don’t have numbers and my uni doesn’t have lockers. Yeah, all my work lockers have locks.

Have you ever received a note in your locker?

Yeah, long ago.

Do you like to laugh?

I do. I laugh a lot, actually.

[kitsmits]

“The Haunting of Borley Manor” - a movie review.

I watched this movie tonight with my husband - admittedly, I missed the first 5 minutes or so because I was listening to a podcast, but once I started watching…I couldn’t look away. It was just so bad. I was so moved by the viewing experience that I simply must share the review I left on Amazon with y’all. (This is what I do instead of writing my own freakin’ stories.)

Ahem.

Taglines: Haunting…Atmospheric…Cerebral…

Well, I guess one could call a lobotomy “cerebral.” I’ll give it this: It certainly made me think of plenty of ways to tell the story better. The writing was just…UGH. (There. Looks like the vocab center of my brain was lobotomized.) Maybe I’ve been watching too many courtroom trials lately, because I found myself wanting to yell “Objection - no foundation!” SO many times. Like…it’s fine to let the audience form questions, but more often than not, the questions raised were of the frustrating “what the ****” variety.

Borley Manor is an actual place with actual lore to it - the podcast “Lore” has a whole episode on it, and plenty of books and movies have been inspired by it. I’d heard the story through that podcast before, and I’d seen another movie about the manor - though I’ll admit, I don’t remember much of either, and my husband had to remind me of both. Once he did, a few aspects of this movie suddenly made more sense: There were gaping holes in the plot and dialogue that, in hindsight, seem to exist in part because the writer(s) are assuming the audience has some knowledge going in. Or, maybe they were so close to their own project, so completely immersed in the story they were trying to tell, that they forgot to establish most of the pertinent facts and circumstances. You know how sometimes, when you work on, say, an essay for WAY too long, you stop seeing your own typos and inconsistencies? Your brain auto-corrects them for you, because YOU know what you meant to say and how you meant to say its? Perhaps that’s what happened here: the writers’ minds automatically filled the yawning caverns in the script.

Or maybe they just REALLY needed to write a second draft.

The main character, whose name I do not recall, is the most American American who ever American’d in England. Honestly, he kinda makes the film feel like a self-insert fanfiction about the Borley Manor. He’s young, handsome, he’s the best at what he does (we’re told), he’s got a Tragic Backstory(TM) and Psychological Trauma, and he’s the Chosen One to uncover this ghostly mystery.

He’s been sent to a tiny village in the English countryside by the Allied Forces to try and listen in on the Germans (oh yeah, this is during WW2, btw). We do see him plenty of times in his little rented cabin with radio equipment and headphones throughout the film. His background prior to the war, we are told through a pointless side character, is in “languages and science.” Yes, you read that right: Science. Just…science. He sciences. You know what? I think I’ll just call him John Johnson who does Job at Place (and if you understand that reference, we are now best friends). Oh, and he’s also apparently a total whiz with languages, but that winds up mattering about as much as establishing what Science he sciences in. He insists to several characters that what he’s doing is classified, covert, super top secret he can’t tell you anything - oh, wait, you asked him about it a second time? Okay, sure, he can tell you what he’s doing. He’s not supposed to have civilians in his cabin either apparently, as he quite loudly states later on after he’s allowed several civilians into the place at various times.

Anyway. American military dude with a war injury, stationed in the English countryside to try and pick up on German transmissions…there’s a burned-down rectory nearby, a war going on, he has PTSD…plenty of great opportunities for creepy stuff. Heck, this would’ve been an excellent setup for a psychological thriller: How much of this is actually happening, and how much is in his head? Maybe have some undeniably real things happen around him - some randomly butchered animals, a villager found murdered (especially one who we’ve been introduced to), for example. Something to suggest that there are actual stakes, that uncovering the mystery of the supposed haunting is important. You might even think the radio will play a role.

(I mean…there IS a scene where he hears a creepy whisper over the radio reciting a prayer about “those who follow worthless idols,” but that’s about it.)

Nope. None of that. We are TOLD the villagers find the manor scary - oh, and John Johnson’s cabin, too, for who-the-heck-knows what reason. We are TOLD the most surface-level history of the place, how it burned down a little before the war, but the fire itself doesn’t seem to be the source or even an effect of the haunting. Creepy Ghost Nun just…happened to be there? Watching? Because ghosts are drawn to misery? Oh, and C. G. Nun also made a “shhh” gesture at Female Romantic Interest(But Not Really), but…that makes no sense when you get to the resolution of the film. (That actually JUST occurred to me now.)

Anyway, our American self-insert, John Johnson, goes for a walk, has a random PTSD flashback to when he was injured in the war (complete with over-exposed grayscale and possibly actual historical stock footage that does not fit in with the style of the rest of the film), and suddenly, he’s waking up at Borley Manor - the titular, burned-down rectory. How’d we get here? Dunno. (There’s a good chance I’m conflating this scene with one of a literal dozen others, to be honest - because they all play out the same way: JJ has PTSD flashback, or JJ has weird dream involving a screaming woman at the manor, followed immediately by JJ waking up in a usually random place. It. Happens. A. Lot.)

So JJ kinda looks around the grounds a bit, and then, when he walks off-screen…Ghost Nun rises like a undead prairie dog from the overgrown weeds. Dun dun DUN!

That pretty much sets the tone for the whole movie. It’s trying WAY too hard to be creepy, but it blew its load by showing the nun in her entirety right near the beginning. It tries to build atmosphere, but between the way-too-consistently-sunny-for-England weather and the high saturation of colors it just looks too bright to be eerie. The quick, often nonsensical cuts between shots were vertigo-inducing; I had to look away from the screen several times because of it. Never felt the need to look away when creepy stuff was happening, though, because it was extremely obvious to the point of being silly whenever it did happen. The plot had more holes than a honey comb. Oh, and don’t get me started on the stilted, unnatural, Turing-test-failing dialogue, or we’ll be here all year.

(Okay - a small, only somewhat paraphrased sample. Scene: Unnecessarily Creepy Neighbor (Whom I Was Half-Convinced Was, In Fact, A Bug Man In Disguise) shows up inside JJ’s cabin. JJ was, once again, randomly asleep, and wakes to find UCN(WIWHCWIFABMID) poking at his radio equipment.)

JJ: “You can’t be here!”

UCN: “Says who?”

JJ: “Will you help me?”

UCN: “No.”

JJ: “Then find me this man.”

I’m only paraphrasing a little. That really was the gist of the scene.)

The best part of the movie, though? The end credits. I’m not even being facetious here; the credits were actually kinda hilarious, and made the whole experience worthwhile. I recommend watching the movie just for those. The movie itself was also rather fun to critique, though I suggest watching with another person so that when you start yelling at the screen your neighbors won’t assume you’re having a psychotic break.

[tjswritingstuff]

We made it through January!

So far things are going well. The past week I’ve felt stretched a bit thin, but I’ve had things going on at work, classes, and my daughter has been very needy. Her paternal grandmother was in the hospital with pneumonia not too long ago, and since she’s made it home Lyric has been a bit clingy and needy both with her and with me. I think that since me and her grandma are the two that spend the most time with her, and she was gone and I’ve been doing homework, now that we’ve both been in the house, she’s really trying to keep both of our attention all the time.

It's lead to some friction. But that’s what happens with family.

I only finished reading one book in January. Though I’m currently reading four different books. Animal Farm, 1984, The Experience Machine: How our minds predict and shape reality, and Wyrd Sisters.

I should finish 1984 of them tonight or in the morning. I’ve read it before, but this time it’s for a class.

I’ve got two essays to write for History this week, and a discussion post so that’s going to be how I spend most of my time over the next couple days.

I actually did a good job this month. My word count for the month has been over 30k. Part of it is homework assignments but I’m averaging over a thousand words a day! If I can keep it up for the rest of the year I’ll be really proud of myself.

I made it to the gym 12 days this month. I’m proud of the progress that I’m making there. I didn’t think I’d enjoy it, but it is kind of starting to feel natural for me to be there. I mean I really only go at night when it’s empty. It helps assuage my self-consciousness.  

My classes are going well, so far I have A’s in everything!

Astronomy – 94.25%

Astronomy Lab – 92.5%

Creative Writing – 100%

Transatlantic Lit 1945-present   – 100 %

History of American peoples – 96.66 %

World Lit Beginnings – 1650CE – 100%

My son learned to fix a water leak today. He’s learning a lot of life skills in home school this year. I’m going to have to figure out a better home school system, because let’s call our current system heavily arts focused. Because I’m heavily arts focused. I have trouble teaching him math. He just doesn’t comprehend it. Doesn’t matter how many times we go over it, or how we break it down. He’s convinced he can’t do math, so he doesn’t do math.

We’re going to get better though.

[odyssick]

holy shit i didn’t realize how much i wrote here, uhm. haha? also i don’t know how to write angst

i apologize for any typos or grammatical errors!

content warning : swearing, very slight angst

———

Regulus rubbed his eye for the hundredth time tonight, squinting at his essay as he moved his wand’s light closer to it. Before he could finish re-reading the last sentence, a whine came from his right, followed by something wet touching his cheek.

“Snuffles, don’t, that’s disgusting,” Regulus pulled away from the big, slobbery dog, his nose scrunching up from the saliva on his cheek. Snuffles whined again, but placed his head back on Regulus’ leg as he wiped his cheek.

“You and my brother would get along well,” Regulus spared a quick glance at Snuffles, his expression full of disgust, but the quirk of his lips gave away his fondness for him. Snuffles yapped cheerfully, as if he knew who Regulus was talking about.

They shared a few more minutes in silence, with Regulus’ occasional comments on his essay and Snuffles’ barks being the only noise present on the Astronomy Tower.

Regulus stifled a yawn, a hand covering his mouth. “Pretty sure this is a good enough essay for Professor Slughorn - barely reaches the required length but I’m quite certain he’ll give me full marks because of the research I put into this.”

Snuffles barked into his ear, gently pushing Regulus’ arm with his nose. He rolled up his essay, laughing as he did so, and scratched the top of Snuffles’ head when he was done.

“It’s not my fault Slughorn’s got favourites,” Regulus shrugged, a lazy smile appearing on his face for a second when Snuffles yapped again, who was now lying down on the floor, face-up, with Regulus scratching his fur. He paused for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing and lips pressing into a thin line, like he was solving a problem.

“I wonder who your owner is. You’re too well-groomed for a stray. Too energetic though-”

Suddenly, the door to the Astronomy Tower creaked open, and Regulus was pointing his wand at the door at a moment’s notice, his shoulders tense and eyes alert, no sign of the boy who was, seconds ago, playing with the dog he didn’t even know the owner of.

“Reg? Just me,” James’ voice came from the dark doorway, stepping closer into the light of Regulus’ wand. He let go of the tension in his body, stuffing wand back into his pocket.

James approached him cautiously, the dog behind him, whose ears were perked up in surprise, going unnoticed. When they were about a foot apart, James held his arms out to Regulus, who glady melted into his embrace. The dog was now tilting his head the unusual scene.

“Just wanted to check up on how you were doing,” James quietly muttered into the crook of Regulus’ neck his hands reaching up to touch his soft curls. Regulus nodded, placing a gentle kiss right below James’ ear. “And I’d really love to stay, but a few of my mates are probably waiting for me to come back from the kitchens right now.”

Regulus hummed in acknowledgement, keeping them together for a few seconds before pulling away. He grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers together, the tips of his lips curling very slightly. “Little rulebreaker, aren’t you, wandering around the corridors in the middle of the night.”

James gave a cheeky grin, pulling him back into a hug when a loud growl made them jump apart.

The dog was staring at James, his growl becoming quieter at Regulus’ request, but still loud enough for them to hear clearly. James gaped at the dog, as if he didn’t believe what he was seeing, before he quickly turned to Regulus, a nervous smile on his face.

“I think that’s my cue, Reggie. I’ll see you tomorrow night, love you!” he spoke quickly, speedwalking away from the dog, and the door was shut before Regulus had the chance to stop him.

He tilted his head at the door, a curious expression lingering upon his face. “That’s… weird,” he turned back to the dog, “Sorry, Snuffles, I think you scared him.”

The next day, James woke up abruptly from his sleep in the Boys’ Dormitory, only registering half of what was happening before Sirius started shaking him around (quite agressively, mind you), spewing incoherent words out of his mouth.

“. . . fuck were you doing with my brother, last night?! Outrageous, Prongs! A fucking scandal, hanging around him behind MY FUCKING BACK! How dare you even think to step even three feet near my LITTLE BROTHER, YOU-”

“Padfoot, stop - I just woke up,” James managed to shout at him in a hoarse voice. The room went silent, and before he knew it, he was promptly thrown back on his bed.

Sirius Black was standing in front of him, arms crossed with the one of the most infuriated look James had ever seen, bested only by the expression he had when Snape attacked him.

James pressed his mouth into a thin line, taking the time to compose himself. Deep breaths, he told himself, as he prepared for his possible death.

“I’m sorry that I-”

“Sorry for what, exactly?” Sirius snapped at him. “For getting together with my fucking brother, or for hiding it from me?”

Remus, who was, until now, just watching the chaos unfold in amusement, stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, which had seemed to calm him down.

“Both,” he took the silence as a chance to speak. “I’m sorry for talking to your brother - I mean, no, I’m not sorry for that - fuck, I meant. Uhm. I’m sorry for keeping it a secret-”

“Are you?” Sirius glared at him, his voice surprisingly on a polite tone, but James wasn’t going to complain.

James gulped, nodding slowly. Now or never, James, now or never, he repeated to himself. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about us. About me and Regulus. It wasn’t right of me. But I’m not sorry for being with him.”

He took another deep breath, appreciating that Sirius was listening right now. “I know I was putting our friendship at risk when I started talking to him, Pads, but Regulus- he makes me happy. You want to us happy, right?”

“Don’t use that on me.” He said indifferently, turning his gaze away.

“That wasn’t my intention,” James shook his head, slowly rising from his bed and slowly walked towards him, who was now watching him like a hawk, and hesitantly placed his hands on his shoulders.

“I know you probably don’t approve of this whole thing with me and Reggi- Regulus, but I love him, Pads. He makes me feel happy, like I’m floating, and I really hope I do the same for him, which sounds like a really cheesy line, but what can I do?” James looked into his best mate’s eyes, which were flitting all over his face, looking for a hind of anythhing untruthful. He stopped after a few minutes, finally looking right at his eyes.

“You call him Reggie?

James’ eyes widened, taken-aback at his question. He wasn’t expecting him to be so nonchalant about it - this was really confusing James. He nodded slightly, unsure what to do.

Finally, Sirius sighed deeply, pulling James into a tight hug. “Listen, mate, I don’t care if you like him or not, you can shag him for all I care - just find someone else to share the details with - because I’m fine with that. What hurt me, is that you didn’t think you could tell me.

James hugged him tighter, tiny droplets of tears gathering at the tips of his eyes. “I know, Pads. I’m sorry for hiding it from you, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

His voice wavered a little, pushing them both over, and in a matter of seconds, they were both crying on each others’ shoulders, gently rubbing the others’ back.

“Stop crying, you wanker! You’re make me cry too.”

“It’s not my fault! You started crying first, you prick.”

BONUS SCENE:

Lily, Marlene and Mary had heard yelling in the Boys’ Dormitory early in the morning, one of the voices they recognized to be Sirius.

“. . . you hugged him for five minutes, Prongs, what the fuck was that? And he fucking kissed you, and you were standing there just- WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“You reckon we should stop him?” Marlene asked, twirling Dorcas’ curls around her fingers, watching her with a gaze so warm, it could melt the coldest ice.

“Nah, I wanna hear what’s happening.” Mary replied, her eyes shining with mischief.

“About time Potter told him, honestly,” Lily yawned, pulling Mary back to bed. “The whole castle has probably seen those two hiding in a cupboard at least once.”

“You sound jealous, darling.”

Perhaps I'm just uncultured, but why has no one ever done Sirius finding out about jegulus because he's been sneaking visits with Reg as Padfoot?? Like Sirius is just laying there in animagus form with his head on Reg's lap while he does his homework, and Reg has no idea, and James is sneaking over to say hi and ask if they're still on for tonight, and he and Padfoot just lock eyes