#i did not particularly want to put this in the tag but i'm sure somebody has filtered it by now. i must respect them

[whypolar]

An explainer

Any version of either of these characters would either ignore me or pop me like a grape if I attempted to speak to them. It's fine.

[halloweenbitch2764]

You asked for Slasher Asks? Well, as a Lester Sinclair lover, I am starved of content, but you write for him. So, if you end up doing this, I am forever grateful!!

Lester meeting the reader who's coming to town with a group of people they don't really know, like they are the friends of a sibling or smth. The rest of them are kinda mean to Lester, complaining about the smell and stuff, but the reader is very uncomfortable when they do that. It all escalates into the group running away from Lester after one of them hit him, but the reader stays and tries to take care of his wound? (Dw the others are being taken care of by either Bo or Vincent).

Thank you for writing all of this content for us <33 Please remember to take breaks, hydrate, and have a snack<33

This is such a cute ask! I'll be more than happy to write it!

Lester with a Future S/O Who Stays Behind to Take Care of Him

Your sister and her friends had decided to take a road trip so you decided to tag along

However, your sister got sick before the trip and ended up staying home

You didn't really know her friends that well, but hey, you deserved a vacation

So you all went through with the trip anyways

You all found a nice little campsite and decided to just sleep there since you guys had packed in case you didn't want to sleep at a hotel

However, you failed to notice someone fuck with your car in the middle of the night

You were all pretty tired between driving and just being so excited

You packed up in the morning and started back out on the road

After a while of driving and no bathrooms in sight, you decide to pull over for a bathroom break and to stretch your legs

The further you walked towards the wooded area, a foul stench hit you all

Of course, being curious, you all walked towards the smell and were met with rotting carcasses of animals which seemed to be roadkill

You gagged slightly and put your shirt over your nose to avoid the stench

Suddenly, a truck backed up and a man jumped out, starting to toss more roadkill into the pile

He had tattered clothes and dirt all over him

He didn't seemed bothered by the smell at all

You noticed two of the girls whispering while staring at the man with disgusted looks

The boys seemed just as disgusted by him but became verbal with their disgust

"What the hell are you doing here?" One of the boys confronted the man

You furrowed your eyebrows at the aggressiveness towards someone who hadn't done anything

The man seemed confused

"Me?"

"No the tree behind you dumbass, yes you!"

Although you didn't know the people with you well, you had heard that this guy was a particularly aggressive person

He'd gotten into plenty of fights and you weren't sure how he hadn't been expelled or arrested yet

The man also seemed confused by the aggressiveness, but was friendly anyways

"Jus' cleanin' up the roadkill. Ain't a pretty job but somebody's gotta do it." You admired how he wasn't aggressive back

"You smell bad and look worse." The friend scoffed

Before you could process what was happening, his fist went flying and connected with the man's cheek

A gasp left you, and everyone booked it towards the road

You looked back to where they had run away and then back to the man who was now holding his cheek which was swelling slightly

You jogged up to the man

"I'm so sorry about him. I don't know why he did that. You didn't do anything to him." You pulled your backpack off your back and pulled out some wet cloths to wipe the blood

He had apparently been cut by the ring the guy had been wearing

You heard your car start and peel out which left you stranded

You'd figure it out later

"Did he hurt you real bad?" You were fuming at what had transpired

Your sister would certainly be getting the lecture of a lifetime about her friend group

"Nah he didn't. Just stings a bit." The man said and let you wipe the blood

"My name is Y/N. Those are my sisters friends. She didn't even end up coming on this trip, but I wanted a break, so we decided to go without her. If I would have known how horrible he was, I would have made him stay behind."

You didn't need to explain yourself, but you didn't want the man thinking you associated with your sisters friend

"My name is Lester. Thanks for staying back to help me. Most people don't do that."

You furrowed your eyebrows at the statement

"Has this happened before?"

He nodded

Your blood boiled. He hadn't done anything to anybody and yet people picked on him

You shook your head in almost disbelief

"I'm so sorry, Lester." You mumbled and put the towel away so you could toss it later

"It's not your fault. Seems like they took your car, do you want me to take you to town? Seems like that's where they were headin'."

Lester knew they'd hit Ambrose where Bo and Vincent would be waiting and with how stupid the group seemed they'd surely been muttering about what had happened

If the blood on the guys ring wasn't a clue

You nodded at his offer, thanking him to offering you a ride

[endogenicredstar]

Pondering Things 7: Fear and Judgement

I didn't think I would be Creating a new Pondering Things entry this late. But here we are. I hope you all had a wonderful day today. For me, things have been rather rough. As you may have already seen from my system mates, I've been having issues with blood pressure. Even though I take medication, it's still tends to screw up every once in a while. I'm not worried about it particularly. Like always, it'll go back to normal eventually. And once that happens, we'll be back in smoother waters. And once we're in smoother waters, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. And by that, I mean your average posts. Part of me wonders if this even worth it. I Mean. sure I have people following us now. But part of me is a little paranoid. We are an endogenic system, after all. And people don't take kindly to us.

That's something that's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm afraid of how people see us. I'm afraid they'll look at us and think that we're faking. Is this a normal thing for a system host to feel? Is it normal to feel like I'm faking everything? Is it bad to fear another’s judgment? The guys tell me that I'm thinking too much about it. And that I should keep going. But is worth it if it affects me so much? I know I should listen to them. They know what they're talking about. But part of me is still very much afraid. But if I keep letting fear control me, it'll keep winning. And I can't let it win. I have to keep going. We have to keep going. If not for ourselves, then for the other endogenic systems out there. I want to be a voice for them so that they too can be heard. I want the world to know that we're all right. I want the world to know that We're not here to hurt people with DID, Or people with OSDD. We're not here to steal resources. We're just existing. That's all we're doing. It's our existence somehow a crime? Does our existence scare them somehow? Because I assure you, we don't bite. Even though some of my system mates would gladly bite aggressors. Anyway, I Just don't want to come on this website just to fear for my own validity. But I also want to keep posting. Because if I don't, then someone may go unheard. And I don't think I could live with that. Everyone has a right to be heard. Even the ones you disagree with. No matter how much It hurts you to hear what they say, They have every right to speak. It doesn't mean that they're correct in any way. But they deserve the dignity of being heard. I have to remind myself of that sometimes. Of course, there's a difference between speaking one’s mind and spreading hate. And some of these antis tend to walk a fine line between the two. And occasionally step on to one side carelessly. I find that most of the time they step on to the side of hate speech. And yes, it is considered hate speech when you target somebody. They're targeting endogenic systems, therefore it is hate speech. At least that's what I think.

I know I should stay out of system discourse, and I know it's not good for me to dabble in it. But I feel like I must. Because if I don't, someone may get hurt. The way they talk about us is hurtful. Their words are the reason why I'm so nervous to keep posting. I keep seeing them wherever I look. And it cuts like a knife every time. Miguel has been trying to keep me away from such things because he knows how much it affects me. Bless him, he tries so hard. Both Knockout and Starscream have also put in valiant efforts as well. But sometimes posts like that can't be avoided. I still read them and they still hurt. Even in the Pro endo tags and endo safe tags, I still see them. I've seen people claiming that people like us are just unable to recognize our trauma. They essentially attempt to gaslight us into thinking we have trauma. When in reality, we have none. I, the host, have mental health issues, of course. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I have trauma.

They always use the DSM 5 as a de facto source of information. However, the DSM 5 isn't exactly accurate. I would suggest they check out the ICD 11. It's a fair bit more accurate. Of course, some of them aren't going to listen to us. And that's their prerogative. But constantly saying that the DSM 5 is completely infallible is an outright lie. Besides that, mental health books such as the DSM 5 only highlight issues that make existence difficult for people. It only highlights behaviors that are detrimental to the patient. Granted, I am no mental health expert, but neither are the people accusing every endo of faking. I wish they would do more research before they shoot off at the mouth.

TL;DR: All endogenic systems are valid. All systems of unknown origin are valid. The people saying that we're faking are not.

I suppose I've run my mouth for long enough. I do hope you all enjoy this entry. And I hope to see you tomorrow! And please remember that this blog is a safe space for any system, regardless of origin! I love you all!

[thelittlemermage]

yeah ok i guess i see where you’re coming from, but intent is a big part of what separates the two. again, i’m not here to attack wimsie by saying this, there’s nothing else that needs to be said about them since we dealt with that problem. what I’m saying is that you made a bad move reposting art without permission, and that comparing art somebody created to be suggestive to that of someone who does not want their art perceived that way, and continuing to sexualize their work when they’re clearly not comfortable with it is a really shitty thing to do. Hany asks that nsfw blogs don’t interact, so I don’t really know how you came to the conclusion that he draws it, but i do know that he’s uncomfortable with the way you’ve been talking about him and his stuff, and i really think it’s in your best interest to just take the post down.

You guys assume a lot of intent tho. Like assuming the intent of that art is incest. And assuming the intent of the hypno art is noncon. That may be your interpretation, but that may not be the author's intent. I've been on the receiving end of this too and I get once you put something out there people will interpret art how they will. But sometimes people take art in bad faith, particularly when they already don't like someone.

Right now, I'm assuming the intent of that art is sexual in nature because two people are laying on top of each other in bed. I'm dubious that he doesn't know it will be seen that way. Maybe you're right. But what I'm saying is those images look very similar in the suggestive meter. Things he does make me uncomfortable too so the feeling is mutual. I'm very certain he likes nsfw art. He was gushing over the ahegao post before he remembered where he was and deleted it lol. He's friends with nsfw artists. And I'm fairly sure he draws it too but you know what, I have no real proof so I'll give you that one. I'm not saying he's bad for any of that aside from being a hypocrite btw. Art about sex is not worse than art about anything else.

Listen, I know those posts are in bad taste. It's possible I will take them down. But I know none of those posts about Wimsie are coming down. Not one of you have ever been decent to me or them as we have been to you. Idk if you know this or even if he knows this, but we had a tentative agreement that if Wimsie keeps the art out of the main tag, that side of the fandom will leave us alone. I consider this agreement void due to recent events. Did it come directly from them? Apparently not. But they're liking/sharing/supporting it. And I know they never did shut up about Wimsie anyway. There's only so many things I can let slide. I'm not going to once again be the only person keeping my head down in this fandom. That hasn't solved anything for me. It would be so easy for them to just mind their business. I don't do anything to anyone unprovoked. All I want is to defend myself and my friends. I don't think letting this sort of thing happen over and over again is how I protect them.

[burningdarkfire]

yet another writing ask: 4, 8, 10, 19, 33, 36, and 39!

you have sent me an absolute feast, thank you!!

(send me another writing ask!)

4. Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

yes! they tend to be tied to games/worlds rather than specific storylines - for example, a bunch of my favourite OCs in the past few years have been NPCs that i've played as DM in my dnd campaigns. i have a handful of original worlds too :)

8. How slow is a slow burn?

as slow as one prefers, really, though i admit i prefer them pretty fast! i tend to like characters who know what they want and are willing to take the initiative, but there are also very specific flavours of yearning that i find delicious and when they're done well, they can really hit

10. Top three favourite fic tropes

i love a good hurt/comfort, i definitely think catharsis is something i'm always looking for in fic. i like pretty much any sort of situation that can lead to a "dubious consent" tag, because those are always interesting (and/or hot) to explore. and i absolutely adore vampire/werewolf AUs and i am not sorry about it

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

"Has Wulf found the body?"

"No." Body, singular. Things were more dire than they thought. "How many got away?"

"None," Astrid said grimly. "But that is already enough."

Essek blinked. The room felt small. "When they do not report back, somebody will know you're alive."

She stared at him for a moment, as if suddenly seeing him again for the first time. "Why are you sitting here? He could have left a cat. A dozen cats."

"I'm sure he did." They had a habit of appearing out of the shadows. Essek put the book aside. "Will you call Eadwulf back?"

"He's not a dog," Astrid said, and she laid back down.

Essek could think of nothing else to say. After a few minutes, even to his carefully disinterested eye, Astrid seemed to be perfectly asleep.

33. Give your writing a compliment.

no one is as good as i am at writing the way i do! it's something i've been talking over a lot with a friend recently, and it's a driving philosophy behind my enjoyment of writing. it's so satisfying to make something and know that i was the only person who could have made it as such

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What’s the one you’re most proud of?

fic titles were one of my great projects of 2023 (and are still, if only i actually posted anything) because tbh my writing is cluttered with half-assed titles taken from songs and poems that i can't even differentiate myself. i've read a lot of poetry in the past year with the idea that it could help me; realistically, i just lie around for weeks after finishing a fic moaning about thinking of a title while everyone else is like "okay, yes, but we want to read it though"

honey melt might win the accolade because it's the only title i can think of that i actually like that isn't derivative 😭

39. Wildest AU scenario you have written?

i mean. listen. you know what it is. it's like 90k published words long (not all of which are mine anymore!) and i still barely understand why i did it. i don't write particularly wild AUs in the first place so its very existence is what makes it insane !!

[shyrose57]

Rlly love how nice u are abt this all!!! Also ur questions rlly got the cogs in my brain turnin for this au, so ty for that! :3 -🐻

To answer some of the serious questions:

Em primarily stays in his human form. Since he didn't like shifting out of his piglin form as a child he knows that no one knows yet that Michael is a hybrid, and so it's easier to hide his identity this way.

The only item of interest that he has on him is a book which he says is his journal/diary whenever anyone asks. It's labelled "DO NOT READ" in ender (bc like father like son), but he never lets anyone get a close enough look at the book for them to figure that out.

He never really tells anyone how old he is, but then again no one really asks, it's pretty obvious he's a teenager so everyone assumes he's in the same age range as the other minors, maybe a little younger.

No one's really suspicious about his sudden appearance, more curious if anything. Most don't really make a connection between his appearance and Dream's imprisonment, but why would they? Sure, it's a little odd some teenager appears after the server admin's imprisonment, but that's easily chalked up to coincidence. That being said, there are people suspicious for other reasons. Two of which are Quackity and Karl. Karl's only met Em a few times, but there's something familiar about him. But that can't be right, because he's never encountered Em before in the other times he's seen. He knows there's something up with Em, but with his memory deteriorating it's hard to put the pieces together. Quackity is suspicious because he thinks there's something off about Em. Call him crazy, but the way Em interacts with him is just so different compared to how he interacts with everyone else. He's colder with Quackity, and he doesn't understand why.

Em is pretty awkward when interacting with everyone on the server. Originally, he didn't want to interact with anyone much outside of small pleasantries, but it gets hard to do that when everyone is so pleasant and social with you. Besides, some of these people aren't around anymore in his time, so it's hard not to spend time with them.

Em steered clear of his parents in the start (which was actually pretty easy since they were busy doing their own thing and they hadn't actually married yet), but after they brought Michael to the Overworld they went to Em for advice on piglin stuff because "Hey! Em's a piglin hybrid, maybe there's stuff about piglins that he knows that could help us!" and while Em's hesitant at first, the fact that they care so much makes him really emotional so he agrees.

Em knows about Karl's timetraveling, because how else would he have found out about time traveling? He was never particularly close to Karl in his time, with how far his memory had deteriorated by then, but seeing Karl from this time with his memory being so much better still sorta hurts.

I still haven't figured out what exactly happened for Em to jump back, but I have figured out that before everything goes to shit, the Snowchester and Las Nevadas conflict escalates to the point that one day Tubbo and Ranboo just. Never come home. After that Tommy becomes Em's guardian, and while he never actually learns what happened to them, it's pretty easy to put the pieces together.

As for some of the less serious questions:

Whenever someone asks if Em is short for, he always gives different and increasingly ridiculous answers. (I'd give an example but I'm not clever enough for that)

Em occasionally babysits Michael (which is sorta weird at first and the weirdness never really goes away, but he gets used to it) and Michael just thinks he's really cool. Not as cool as Uncle Tommy, but still super cool.

Em is a hundred percent on for pranks and stuff, and once he gets comfortable in the time period, he starts doing quite a few.

He can definitely speak Piglin! While it's not as good as it could be, it's definitely pretty good. Especially since he had Tommy to help him from getting rusty (i am a firm believer of the "Tommy can speak piglin bc he was raised alongside Tehcno" hc). He can't speak Enderian, but he understands it. He also knows how to read and write in it.

He's not the best at fighting, but he can certainly hold his own in a fight. He tends to try and outsmart his way out of fights, though.

Happy to help!

Mkay, mkay. What's his human form look like? Scars, hair length/style? We got any braids in there? When does Michael originally shift-which is an option to expose Em, if somebody noticed the resemblance.

What are the adventures of this 'DO NOT READ' book, considering how much trouble Ranboo's own get into with such a title.

Does Karl have some sort of sense because of his time travel that makes Em odd to him? Or has he perhaps met him? Or will meet him? Or did some Doomed version of him? I'm not actually sure about that last one, do Karl's doomed/lost selves have any effect on him even? And Em's cold towards Quackity? Two out of three fiances find 'em suspicious huh? What did-or, what will Quackity do to warrant such behavior? Is there anyone else Em's a bit cold toward, or otherwise?

Pleasant and social? Why's that? Who exactly talks to him then? I imagine quite a few are less than, well. Pleasant and social, as you put it, considering recent events, so who exactly does he end up interacting with if he gets a warm welcome?

Oh? Do we get bonding then? If so, how so? What sort of advice does he give them?

Did Em learn about time travel from afar-like, see Karl do it and stick around to learn more, or was it like a whole distant/dying mentor thing in a short amount of time? Does he do anything to help Karl? Since Em learned about time travel from Karl in some way, is his memory similarly effected, or does he know some way to fight the effects of that? Has he had any experiences with the Inbetween and Other Side?

Oh no, that's really not good. Poor Em. So the conflict took his parents, huh? How does this effect things for him, once in the past-considering he's face to face with his parents' apparent killer? And since this would be soon after Dream's imprisonment, that means it's a bit before Las Nevadas is formed, right? How does Em feel about Foolish-considering he's part of Snowchester at the time? How does he feel about Snowchester's current residents What's his life like once his parents are gone?

-------

Emergency, Empirical, Empire, Chemistry, Emerald, Emma, Emergence, Semi, Email. Those are a few that could work.

How does babysitting go? Is Michael a good child, or is Em silently apologizing to his parents for being a gremlin when he was younger?

Who's the first to fall to his mischief? Is he ever discovered as the culprit, or does he get away with it?

Does Techno or Tommy ever decide to try and drag him into a talk, since he can? How does that go? Do the Bee Duo try and get him to translate for Michael? Since Em understands Ender, does he ever have any encounters with Enderboo? If so, how do those go?

Any favored weapons of his? Long range, mid-range, or short?

Also, is there anything you'd like me to tag this as so you can find it easier? 

[anarmorofwords]

so because of all the music talk today I thought i'll finally share my Matthew playlist, ft. a selection of some particularly fitting lyrics etc. - inspired by @itsjusta-j-really's format I'm just putting them under the cut (also because there's A Lot)

warning: many songs on this playlist deal with heavy topics, such as addiction, suicidal thoughts etc., so please keep that in mind

also, you might cry, I'm not sorry

gonna tag @thepictureofsdr @underestimatedgenius too because you like Matthew so maybe you'd be interested

false confidence - Look at you all dressed up for someone you never see// You're here for a reason but you don't know why (...) Don't let those demons in again// I fill the void up with polished doubt, fake sentiment// Surrender yourself

redemption - Father, help me, do you understand?// All my life, I've been a wicked man// Show me mercy and comfort me// I need to find redemption (...) I've never been this far from peace// I'm disappearing out of reach again

achilles come down - I'll just say read this post

spirits - I got guns in my head and they won't go// spirits in my head and they won't go (...) I'll be a dreamer 'til the day I die// and they say, oh, how the good die young?

I'll be good - I thought I saw the devil, this morning// Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue (...) My past has tasted bitter for years now (...) I've been cold, I've been merciless// But the blood on my hands scares me to death// Maybe I'm waking up today

comfort crowd - This hurt that I'm holding's getting heavy// but I'ma keep a smile on my shoulders 'til I'm sweaty (...) Telling you, "I'm fine I don't really need nobody"// but you say through a sigh// that I said that lie already

broken - If you see the boy I used to be// could you tell him that I'd like to find him// and if you see the shell that's left of me// could you spare him a little kindness *sobs*

dancing with the devil - It's just a little red wine, I'll be fine (...) // twisted reality, hopeless insanity// I told you I was okay, but I was lying

when you wash your hair - You did some things that you forgot// drinking wine and smoking pot// you tried to be someone you are not

the fire - 'Cause I've been a devil, I've been a saint// somebody help me, I can't change (...) Ashes in the cold, now I'm running toward the fire// (Runnin' toward, runnin' toward the fire)

mad world - all around me are familiar faces// worn out places, worn out faces (...) And I find it kind of funny// I find it kind of sad// the dreams in which I'm dying// are the best I've ever had

four - *inhales**cries* In this game of hide and seek// I can't help but think that ordinary has swallowed the key// bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust// for a moment we get to be glorious (...) Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure (...) I lost my balance when I needed it most (...) I'm stuck swimming in shadows down here// it's been forever since I came up for air

unsteady - Mama, come here// approach, appear// daddy, I'm alone// 'cause this house don't feel like home (...) whoa, if you love me, don't let go// Hold, hold on, hold onto me// 'cause I'm a little unsteady

ready to go - Jackie's just 17, and hard to please (...) You don't know what she's seen, or where she's been// The devil's dancing toe to toe// when the reaper comes, I'll be ready to go

the show must go on - The show must go on, yeah// inside my heart is breaking// my makeup may be flaking// but my smile, still, stays on (...) another heartache, another failed romance, on and on// does anybody know what we are living for?

tortured soul - Whiskey taste is on my breath// part of me is scared to death// what if I told you the truth? One more sip for a tortured soul// your diggin' my heart in deeper hole// and a thousand thoughts going through my mind

icarus - look who's digging their own grave// That is what they all say; you'll drink yourself to death (...) Icarus is flying too close to the sun// and Icarus' life, it has only just begun (...) Standing on the cliff face, highest fall you'll ever grace// it scares me half to death// look out to the future, but it tells you nothing

perfect places - every night, I live and die// feel the party to my bones (...) meet somebody, take 'em home// let's kiss and then take off our clothes (...) meet somebody, take 'em home// let's kiss and then take off our clothes

sinners - I'll be drinking late with you// until the morning comes around (...) Yeaaah, I must be good for something// yeaaah, yeaah, yeah// oh sinners come down, come gather 'round (...) Drinking gin and dropping lines// wasting beats in this heart of mine// until the morning comes around

monster - If you knew the truth, you'd probably hate me// (...) I need a fight// I've got you, in my sights// only one of us will make it out alive// I'm turning into a monster // My tongue is a weapon and I'm locked and loaded (...) Delirium takes over me// you're just another casualty

play with fire - Insane, inside the danger gets me high// Can't help myself got secrets I can't tell (...) Fire, fire // I've always liked to play with fire// oh, watching as the flames get higher

monster - Ever since I could remember, Everything inside of me, Just wanted to fit in (oh, oh, oh) I was never one for pretenders (...) Everything I touch isn't dark enough// If the problem lies in me

[giorno-plays-piano]

You were all I wanted Part 3

Pairing: mob!Peter Parker x plus-sized!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, swearing, human trafficking, mentions of non-con, minor character’s death.

Words: 1600.

Summary: You are bought by the head of Stark crime family for a kid he cares about.

Part 1

Part 2

P.S. Peter is an adult!

This chapter turned out to be shorter, but it's still pretty eventful. Hope you're going to like it <3

___________

"But what... what if he won't like me? What if he'll take me away?" You sobbed, panic taking over you as you imagined Tony Stark pressing a gun to your forehead.

"No, he'd never do that." Peter left a little kiss behind your ear. "Mr. Stark doesn't take the gifts he's made back. You don't have to be afraid of that."

You sniffed at his words. That's what you were now. A gift. A possession. A pet whose job was keeping its master happy. You had to be grateful you were given to someone like Peter, at least. You didn't know whether he would always treat you kindly, but as of now he had never threatened to hurt you. You could only pray for him to fancy you so he wouldn't throw you away like some garbage - apparently, Tony Stark treated his women exactly like that.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. Of course, you got upset." Peter cuddled with you some more, but you weren't sure whether he was being sincere. Wasn't he sending you a clear message?

Don't go against me or you'll end just like her.

"Oh, I have an idea. Let's go out! Do you wanna see the movie or something?"

You did your best to wipe away your tears and stared at the boy, perplexed. "What?"

"We have a nice little cinema not far from here. We could go right now, just let me check what they've having today."

"But didn't you say I can't leave this place?"

"I meant without me." He showed you the same smug smirk Stark was wearing all the time, and you lowered your gaze to Peter's chest instead. "With me close you can go wherever you want to."

Funny thing to say. In thruth, you could go wherever he wanted to take you.

"Wow, they're having Beyond Darkness in 30 min! We gotta go, you'll loooove this."

"Sure."

In five minutes you were already hurrying after Peter and trying to look nowhere but your shoes. Regardless of what was there in Stark's Tower, you didn't want to see it, not even mentioning all those guys with guns scattered across the building. Peter was saying his hello to each and every one of them as if he were some mafia's social butterfly.

Whatever. You knew Peter was Tony's favorite not because he had a pretty face. You had never particularly asked what his role in all this was, but it was obviously something way bigger than running errands for the gang. Maybe it was better to never figure it out.

"Hey girl, wanna have fun?" Somebody to your left asked you, and you flinched involuntarily, keeping your head low.

Peter stopped in the very same second and sent the stranger a hard look.

"Mike, you offer my girl drugs one more time and I'm gonna shoot your cute little brother in the leg, you hear me?"

You raised your eyes to Peter's smiling face and regretted it immediately. There was something so dark in his gaze you wanted to turn around and run until you were back to your room, hiding somewhere in the corner.

"Shit! Sorry, Spidey!" The guy's high-pitched voice sounded frightened. "Didn't know you got a girl!"

"Yeah, yeah, see you later, we're kind of busy now." Peter grabbed your hand and pulled you away, heading to the exit. "I forgot to mention before that we don't do drugs. At all. They're good for business, but not for us, ok, Baby?"

"Yes, Peter." You answered and kept chewing your lips, thinking of all the things he had just said. You suspected him to be more ruthless when you weren't around, but never to such extent. How damn scary was real Peter Parker?

"And don't worry, I'd never shoot his brother in whatever part of his body." The boy said it like it was something obvious and you didn't even need to pay attention to it.

Why then did that guy look completely horrified?

When you had finally stepped outside and felt the wind playing with your hair you were ready to cry. Just walking out of the Tower was a fucking torture.

It was already dark, and you pulled the zipper on your pretty blue jacket up, going almost shoulder to shoulder with Peter. Normally you'd be at least a little scared to walk the streets of a big city at night, but the guy your mother had warned you about was already holding your hand.

The place the boy brought you to was truly small but cozy with nice vintage red seats, the delicious smell of caramel popcorn spreading everywhere. It turned out that the movie was something in between Star Wars and Star Trek, which wasn't surprising because Peter was a sucker for anything related to sci-fi. Anyway, it wasn't bad and you actually enjoyed watching it. The movie helped you to keep your mind off your earlier encounter with the drug trafficker and the words Peter said.

The only way to live like that and stay sane was to turn a blind eye to anything that happened around, you thought. It was cowardly and revolting, but what could you do against one of the most, if not the most, dangerous gangs in New York? Surely, even if by some miracle you could flee the Tower and go to police, would they really be willing to help you? No, they would return you to Mr. Stark. You were a hundred percent sure he got it covered.

"Are you feeling tired, Baby?"

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked at Peter who smiled at you so lovingly it could make any girl cry.

"Just a little bit."

"Want me to give you a massage when we gonna get home?" His expression quickly turned devious, and he winked at you.

Yeah, great, now you'd have him fucking you before your knees were giving out. The kid had such stamina he could be an Olympic athlete, no less.

"Aw, I love when you blush like that." Chuckling, he put his arm around your shoulders and inched closer to give you a quick peck on the lips. You forced youself to enjoy his little signs of affection and start thinking you ought to be thankful he wasn't into heavy BDSM practices or something like that.

While you two were kissing again, you heard someone's loud footsteps as if this person just jumped out of the corner, and then there was a hateful outburst, "Stay were you are. Your wallets, quick!"

You froze, your hands getting cold as you stared at the face of a guy standing in front of you with a knife in his hands. He was clearly unstable, sick - you could see the dark circles around his eyes, the unhealthy color of his skin, and his greasy hair sticking to his forehead. You didn't know what was wrong with him, but he was twice bigger than Peter. The guy would probably have no problem with slicing both him and you into pieces if you didn't comply.

"I said g-"

"You gotta be fucking kidding me." Peter let out a frustrated sigh before you heard the loud sound of the gun firing.

There was a little black hole in the guy's chest, blood seeping through his dirty white t-shirt and coloring it in a beautiful deep ruby color. You could see the confusion in the eyes of the stranger, his mouth half-open. Slowly, he went down before his legs gave out and he landed at the ground with a loud thud. He didn't move after that.

"Come on, attacking a couple of high shoolers? You're such a psycho, man. Who were you gonna go after us? Kids?" Peter rolled his eyes and hid the gun under his bomber, turning away from the man he murdered and shouting to someone behind him. "It's ok, people! It's just me, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! Calm down, go home, it's late!"

You were still staring at the large pool of blood spreading beneath the body of a stranger - lack of light made it look like it was an odd black liquid. Before you could take your eyes elsewhere, you felt bile quickly going up your throat and vomitted, moving to lean your hand on the wall of a building. He killed him. Peter killed him. You didn't even see him pulling out the gun.

"Oh Baby, I'm so sorry." The boy gently held back your hair when you threw up again, feeling scared, disgusted, feverish and cold at the same time. "That's why I don't like drugs and what they do to people. That shithead lost his mind, you see? No sane guy would ever jump on me or my girl like that."

Despite him being so tender, you couldn't even turn your head to look at him as you started shaking from his touch.

You kept emptying your stomach a few more minutes before Peter softly wiped your mouth with his handkerchief and took your arm, walking you back to the Tower and saying all those unnecessary things about how terrible some people are and how everyone has to take care in the dangerous world they're living in. You didn't hear half of that, but you cared little for his chattering.

Peter had shot the man without showing even the slightest regret. He'd shoot you the same way if you ever turned against him - he was Stark's favourite, after all.

__________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki  ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @void-hoechlin @abyssaint @msruchita @opheliadawnwalker3

[paragonevil]

I'm gonna be honest, as far as Aku, evil overlord dictator of an empire that's dedicated to wiping out most if not all of humanity, you write him too mushy. He's supposed to be a sociopath, from what we see in the show, but you have him being shipped with like, a dozen people. You write him waaayy too nice. That being said, I suppose if you didn't, you would have very limited interaction with people, and you've written out "development" for him, but the point still stands that he's way too roman

What do you think about my interpretation? | accepting!

ooc ★ Before I get onto my response, I’d like to thank you for having the audacity to send this. I feel there’s this unhelpful idea in the rpc that people have to agree with everything you post; and to say you disagree with someone’s interpretation is often met with ferocious resistance. But when I reblog memes of this nature asking for opinions, I want the good and the bad. I AM always looking to improve, and to not take criticism when I so freely dish it would be hypocritical of me, I guess. ( For lack of a better word, right off the top of my head. )

I COULD put this under a cut, but I feel this is important enough to just let it sit out in the open. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a while.

That said, two things for you.

Firstly, I LOVE writing violence! In fact, I’d go so far as to say it’s in my top two favorite things to write, right beside slow-burn romance ( and particularly one-sided yearning ). However, while I used to jump at every opportunity to write violence, I can admit I’ve since slowed down a bit. Not only because I’ve gotten progressively less and less people coming to Aku trying to pick a fight with him, but also because I’ve come to feel that fight threads without a purpose to further the plot are repetitive and somewhat boring. It tends to be a lot of the same-old same-old; repetitive actions, repetitive imagery. And yes, while this is a significant piece of his character in the show, and I love exploring it even further and particularly pushing the bounds of his abilities, if it doesn’t serve a purpose in the greater scheme of a plot or an arc then... Why waste your time with it? And frankly this goes for all repetitive actions, like gratuitous sex and slice-of-life. If it doesn’t serve a purpose to write, such as say to kill an important enemy or fight a significant battle or even to maim a loved one when he’s not himself and bring down the angst hammer, then? Why.

Secondly, despite not wanting to write violence just for the sake of violence... I can admit I want some conflict over here. But that’s just the thing. In Aku’s main verse he’s samurai-less. I did this simply because the NUMEROUS Jack blogs there used to be have since become inactive, and if my initial intention with Aku’s blog almost from the very start was for him to kill a Jack and switch over to my Bad End universe, I can’t very well have Aku always worried about a ghostly, intangible threat that he can’t confront. And of all the Jack’s on this hellsite, of which I’ve written with and followed more than a few along the way, I can only name ONE which is still active. ( And another which followed me today, on that note, but they don’t have a rules nor an about page, so. )  ...But that first Jack I mentioned, @sonxflight, we don’t really write anymore. Nowadays Dari’s been more focused on fluff / romance threads, and I’ve been more interested in developing Aku’s mental health. Aku isn’t gonna go out of his way to confront a Jack that he views as not being his problem. Dari’s Jack isn’t the one from my Aku’s universe. Dari and I just kinda tag each other in dash memes and comment on one another’s posts once in a while; and that’s about the extent I see action from a Jack nowadays.

I would LOVE some more conflict on this blog! But I’m not going out of my way to find it if it doesn’t particularly serve to further my current plot— which is Aku’s eventual ascension to Godhood at the end of this year. And that’s another thing, if Aku himself doesn’t stand to gain anything from talking to someone, inciting a conflict, or being a dick to somebody, he’s pretty much going to keep his distance. He finds most people to be a waste of his time; and this is nothing against other RPers whom I love seeing on dash! Because lord knows I’d love to push him to interact with folks. But if Aku himself looks down his nose at most people and finds them not only boring but also boorishly stupid, then there’s not much else for it. He sees others that come to him for money, freedom, and other boons in exchange for their services as nothing more than cattle; and frequently this is how his meetings with new people go. Meeting others out in the field is the best way to get a truly organic and not copy-and-pasted interaction out of him. And even then, there’s still numerous factors which would predicate how such an encounter might go.

Because there’s not too much conflict on this blog for now, I’ve decided to take greater liberties with exploring shipping and platonic relationships also. But for those of you who have followed me for a while, who have seen me mention on more than one occasion that slice-of-life threads aren’t really my schtick, I can understand why you might be a bit confused. Well, allow me to explain: the reason I’ve chosen to place greater emphasis on these kinds of relationships lately is to preclude a little RP / character bleed mishap which happened recently and which impacted my enjoyment when writing as him and even just simply being on this blog. And by ‘recently’ I mean slowly, over a period of the past several months.

Aku’s entire arc with Rick demonstrated to both of us that he’s in an incredibly bad kind of headspace in regards to healthy relationships on this blog. In his universe with Rick, basically all his ties are a result of his relationship with Rick. Bill ( wildgcd, whose blog has since been deleted ) and Ashi ( @tigersteeth ) are both inactive, and have been for months +. They’re the only ones with whom Aku has a healthy relationship that isn’t directly tied to Rick in that universe, and as a result he tends to rely quite heavily on Rick for his social needs. So when Rick left him too, Aku’s abandonment issues reared their head. Unhelpfully, mun has a problem with abandonment amongst a slew of emotional / psychological problems quite similar in nature to the one’s Aku suffers from— albeit with a fun little mortal twist. 🤗 So I knew I needed to take action so I could comfortably be on his blog in the inevitability that Stephanie goes on hiatus again. Which is why I’m trying to focus a bit more on building more platonic and romantic relationships besides the ones with Rick and co. that way Aku has more people with whom to spend his time when Rick is away.

Furthermore, now that Jack’s out of the picture regardless of verse, Aku’s allowed himself to focus more on making friendships and forming attachments just in general. One of the reasons he tended not to do such before is because he felt that Jack would kill whomever he felt close to in an effort to get to him. In fact, he even shouted at Rick for daring to mention that he and Jack could possibly work together to build a future which would be brighter and better for everyone; because he felt certain that Rick would wind up being targeted by Jack to get to Aku.

He’s started going to therapy, also, to address long-held mistaken beliefs in himself, too. Beliefs which interfered with the relationships he had tried to foster with others; it was enough to frustrate him, when he let himself acknowledge such, and he knew he needed to sit down and talk with someone professionally if he didn’t exactly have friends around per se with whom he could talk. Also, I personally believe he chose not to do such before, because his very existence was hinged on destroying Jack so he could conquer the universe in peace without meeting resistance. While he knew he was unhappy and knew furthermore that he had some problems that needed addressing— and had even made a thin attempt to talk about such with himself in show canon as you recall—  ultimately his mental well-being took second banana to making sure Jack was DEAD.

The therapy, coupled with his own slow internal journey, some perspective which was afforded to him during Rick’s absence, and some 4th wall Discord conversations has lent him valuable insight on the way he functions—and how Nightmare works too. Who, in many ways is just himself but with unchecked mental delusions and mistaken beliefs that had grown unchecked. He saw what had happened to Nightmare mentally, and didn’t want such a fate for himself. Hence the therapy and greater, braver attempts to let himself be closer to others.

Finally in the case of Bill and Nightmare... both of them take place in different universes, of course. Universes which in themselves were split just after the break up between Aku and Rick. Aku is still thoroughly alone in those universes, because again. He doesn't have Rick and all the people who were brought into his life as a result of his relationship with him. He’s at that point in his immortal life where he’d like to try his courage and test out the things he’d discovered about himself in therapy and in his personal self-explorations, and see about developing a relationship with someone with a fresh perspective with his recent failure as Rick’s partner in mind. Which is why he’s so amicable with them and trying to get to know them better. He wants to see what a healthy relationship, platonic or otherwise, developed on his own might be like.

However. I WILL acknowledge that Aku trying to make friends with people is ooc. It’s ALSO ooc for Aku to try fucking / romancing someone. There, I said it.

But you know why that is? It’s because that facet of his character was never explored in canon, even in all the comics, games, and the addition of the 5th season in 2017. So I suppose you could say that if I were to play him absolutely true to his canon material he’d only ever be a fucking mauling, mutilating, destroying, force of nature. Which yes, he still is despite my writing him how I do with a greater emphasis here lately on developing relationships with other characters. I ask you: isn’t the whole point of RP to develop dynamics and explore facets of a character that canon neglected? I could do fight threads all day, boy; but please ask yourself: how much would that really serve to further my interpretation and understanding of him, if at that point I’m just rehashing canon fights with a fresh coat of paint and different enemies? Whereas platonic and romantic relationships are a thoroughly headcanon and character-development heavy area for a character like Aku, who hasn’t had a single friendship or romantic relationship in his canon media.

And if you’d like cliff notes, rp examples of him being fucking EVIL, and links to evil headcanons I have you’re more than welcome to send a second ask asking for said information. But I think I’ve already given you plenty to think about and read, unless you’re some kind of masochist and want to torture yourself more with reading my self-absorbed and self-assured opinion. Thanks for making it this far, here’s your consolation prize.

TL;DR: Canon already gives me fights for days, boy. And while I thoroughly enjoy writing fight threads, they tend to be repetitive and exhausting if they’re not serving a purpose in a plot arc. Whereas things like interpersonal relationships for a character like Aku, who did not see such development in his canon media, is full of things to explore. And ultimately that’s what RP is about, exploring facets of a character which canon doesn’t explore for you. Once again, thank you for asking, and I hope this answers your question. I can provide examples for everything cited above, as well as fight threads and evil moments abound if you’d like. Furthermore, if there’s anything I do in RP which confuses you or which you feel is ooc, I invite you to jump in my askbox again with further questions. I’d be happy to explain my reasoning for ANYTHING I write!

P.S. I INVITE you to form your own opinions and compare me to my duplicates, 90-100% of whom are inactive. <:) Here they are, for your browsing convenience: @unspeakablyevil @akunoakuma @onibred @aku-blogs @shogundad Take a gander, consider what I just told you, and then see if you can hit me with this same anon again, yes? 😏💕

[spectraspecs-writes]

Tatooine - Chapter 65 (Zaalbar, Carth)

Link to the masterpost. Chapter 64. Chapter 66.

@averruncusho, @ceruleanrainblues thank you for reading you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for your support you get a tag.

------------------

It’s about thirteen hours from Tatooine to Kashyyyk, but these gizka are threatening to drive everybody nuts before we get there. For a little while, we managed to keep them isolated in the cargo hold, but someone must have opened the door long enough for them to get out. According to Canderous, Juhani found one in the fresher this morning and screamed, before muttering curses in Cathar. Personally, I think they’re adorable, but I’m in the minority. These little frogs are testing even Bastila’s patience. 

But they are simply adorable in my opinion. They like to be scratched behind the little nubs where their ears should be. It makes them purr a little. Unfortunately I’ve petted enough of them to have a small mob hopping behind me. HK wants to shoot them all but that’s not a very good option. We’d end up with a pile of dead bodies. And gizka aren’t particularly tasty so we couldn’t do much with the dead. I think Zaalbar tried to eat one of them, but couldn’t finish it. They’re just not that appetizing to anyone but Ithorians and Aqualish. And at this point they aren’t fit to sell for food - the regulations are very strict as I understand it as to who can sell gizka, the circumstances they’re raised under, the food they can eat while being raised. If they’d been delivered to the right people instead of to me, that’s probably where they’d have ended up.

If they’re still here by the time we’re done with the Star Forge, I’ll see about taking them to one of their native worlds, but until then they’re along for the ride.

Zaalbar has asked for my help trying to wrangle them once more into the cargo hold - which is the only place on the ship large enough to house them all now - and I’m helping him, but I don’t see how much good it’s going to do. If I may coin a phrase, the gizka’s out of the bag, so to speak. It’d be easier to keep them out of places than it would be to keep them in. 

When his makeshift gate collapses again, he groans in exasperation as the gizka hop out of the cargo bay again. “I’m telling you it would be a lot easier to just set up little electrical fields to keep them out of the dormitory quarters and the fresher. I can pick up some parts for it on Kashyyyk,” I tell him.

Zaalbar sort of huffs a sigh. His heart just isn’t in this anymore. “You okay?” I ask.

“Kashyyyk…” he says softly, slowly, “... my home. I should prepare you to go… but I don't know if I'm prepared myself.”

“How do you mean?” I ask him.

“I didn't leave Kashyyyk voluntarily. Mission must have told you how I was fleeing slavers… but there was more,” he says, “I am an exile. The slavers on Kashyyyk only took me after I was forced to leave my village home, 20 years ago.”

“Why were you forced to leave? What happened?”

“My brother made deals with the slavers and allowed them to get a foothold,” he says, “I found out and attacked him. The fight was stopped, but my father did not believe me when I told him about my brother's actions. I was made an exile, disowned by my home and people. I should not be here. They will not accept me back.”

“Why didn’t your father believe you?”

I almost get a sense of shame from him. “When I attacked my brother,” he says, “I was so mad… I used my claws. You don't understand what that means to a Wookiee. Our claws are tools, not weapons. To use them in battle is to become an animal. It is madness without honor. I am forever a madclaw in the eyes of my people. Nothing I say is to be trusted. They were right to cast me out.”

“Maybe things have changed,” I say, trying to be optimistic.

“Perhaps,” he says skeptically, “I just hope I can prove myself to my people. It will be difficult to make them listen. I just don’t know. I don’t have much hope.”

“Well,” I say, “I know it doesn’t mean much, but you’re always welcome here.” He sort of grunts. Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say.

-------

I knock on the bulkhead near the cockpit and Carth turns. “Hey,” he says before looking back at the controls, “What’s up?”

“Want a co-pilot?” I ask, “My piloting skills aren’t that great, but under the tutelage of a master such as yourself, I…”

“Don’t be such a kiss-ass,” he says with a smile, “Have a seat.”

I come the rest of the way in and turn the co-pilot’s chair.

There is a gizka sitting in the chair.

“There’s a gizka here,” I say.

“Yep.”

“Did you… put the gizka there?”

“Nope.” So I pick up the gizka and it wriggles out of my hands onto the deck, hopping away. So I sit down. “Although,” he says, grinning, “I was enjoying its company.” 

“Shut up,” I tease, surveying the controls. “I’m really not a good pilot,” I say, “I can navigate okay, but at least in surface vehicles I hit a lot of things.”

“Well, hyperspace is the most stable part of the trip,” he says, “Not much really needs doing.”

“Seems like the perfect time for me to come in, then,” I say, trying to interpret sensor readouts, “I won’t break anything or shoot somebody, run somebody over.”

“Well, you could knock us off the hyperspace route,” he replies, “Then we’d be in trouble.”

I quickly pull my hands off the console. “Maybe I shouldn’t touch anything then.”

He laughs, just a little. “I’m just saying it’s possible,” he says, “The controls for that are over here, anyway.”

I shake my head. “I guess I should just stick to droids,” I say, and I start to stand up.

“No, please, stay,” he says, “I could use the company, same as you.”

I stay, but -- “What do you mean, same as me?”

“You didn’t need my help to work on HK-47 the other day,” he says, “You didn’t even want my help. My company was a lot more valuable than my assistance. If it was just another set of hands you wanted, you would have used Teethree.”

I start to open my mouth, but I don’t say anything. “Uh-huh,” he says, “You know…” And then it just drops off. “Never mind,” he says, shaking his head, “Come on, where’s the woman with all the questions I was stuck with on Taris?”

Out of questions for the moment. Although I am curious what he was about to say. But when has a direct question worked on Carth? Something seems to be bothering him, he’s just putting up a front. I can’t tell if my people skills are telling me that or the Force, or what, but I know. “Well,” I say, “here’s a question for you, if you’re so eager.”

“Fire away.”

“Tell me why you want revenge on Saul so badly.”

He looks a bit surprised. “I already told you,” he says, “He betrayed us all.”

I shrug. “It just seems to be more… personal than that, that’s all.”

He sort of tosses his head a bit, looking a bit hesitant. But hey, he did tell me to fire away. “Well,” he starts to say hesitantly, “there… there is more to it. I'm… I'm sure you don't want to hear about it.”

“I asked, didn’t I?”

“It's just that I… don't talk about it very much. Okay?” Obviously. “I told you about my homeworld. Telos. Four years ago, Saul led the Sith fleet there and demanded its surrender. The planet refused and Saul proceeded to devastate its entire surface. Millions died.”

He hesitates again. “I had… a wife and son on Telos.”

Oh, so he was a dad. I knew it. Come on, Rena, not really the time for that, is it? “I thought they would be safe there,” he continues, “But my task force arrived too late to be of much help.” He takes his hands off the controls, just sort of letting them rest on the panel. “We didn't have enough medical supplies. The colony was burning and the dying were everywhere. I-I remember holding my wife and screaming for the medics.” And for a moment, I can see it, hear it, feel it like a rock on my chest. It’s weird, and I don't think either of us wanted it to happen. I’d have to ask Bastila about it to know for sure (and I know neither of us want that either), but I guess the emotion of the memory is just so strong that I just… felt it, I don’t know. “They… didn't come in time.” The feeling starts to fade. But I’ll never forget it. And neither will he.

“I’m so sorry,” I say softly, “That’s terrible. I had no idea.”

He stammers a little. “Of course not. How could you?” He shakes his head and goes back to the controls. “I… had nothing left after that, really. I devoted myself to the fleet. Hunting Saul was my only purpose. I… I miss them,” he says. His mind isn’t really on the ship. “I know killing Saul won't bring them back, and it won't make me happy again… but I have to do it. I don't expect you to understand. I have to pay him back for what he's done - I have to. It's all I have left.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” I say.

“No, it’s alright,” he says, “I don’t mind.” Well that’s a change.

“What was she like, your wife?”

He smiles. Of course he does. “She had courage… and she was stubborn.” He chuckles shortly. “A bit like you, in that respect.” (I felt a weird jealousy for a minute, but now it’s gone.) “I could never talk her out of anything once she put her mind to it. And she hated it when I signed back onto the fleet at the start of the war. I had planned on- on leaving soon, to join her…”

It’s nice to know where all the anger comes from. I couldn’t get over that either. “So what happened to your son?” I ask, “You never said.”

“His name was Dustil,” he says, “and I don't know what happened to him. The colony was a complete ruin, and we never found any trace of him.” Ouch. “I made inquiries and followed the reports from Telos for years, but… I stopped.”

We’re both quiet for a little bit, before I give a grim chuckle and say, “I guess this isn’t what you had in mind when you asked for my company, is it?”

He returns the chuckle. “No, but to be honest, I’m just glad you’re here. I like it when you’re around.”

“What a charmer,” I say. I’m glad to see him smile again. “You’re the most normal person on the ship to talk to. Canderous has nothing but war stories, which Mission loves but you have to be in the right mood for it, in my opinion. Juhani’s… a bit clingy, don’t tell her I said that. HK is… HK.” He laughs a bit at that. “And Bastila usually just wants to talk about Revan and Malak.”

He shakes his head. “To think that I once looked up to those two as the best that humanity had to offer,” he says, “Now I'd like nothing more than to put a blaster to both their heads. Although I suppose only Malak is left, isn't he? Turned on his own master, not that Revan didn't have it coming.” A wry chuckle. “Typical for their kind, I guess.”

“Did you ever meet either of them? Bastila hates talking about Revan.”

“I didn’t know them personally. They aided the Republic during the Mandalorian wars. They were heroes. Without them the Mandalorians would have finished us for certain. In the fleet, we didn't see much of the Jedi. I only met Malak once, but I was impressed by him,” he says, “I guess that just shows how much the Dark Side can change someone.”

“Do you… know why they turned?” I ask. I don’t take Bastila’s concerns seriously, but then maybe I don’t have enough information.

“Nobody does.” Well, that’s helpful. “When they left after the Mandalorian wars ended, they were Jedi. When they returned… they were something else. They had an entire fleet with them. Nobody knows where they got the ships. They had a lot of them and as the years have passed there always seems to be more and more… while our forces dwindle.”

“I have a feeling the Star Forge has something to do with that,” I say, “I mean, all the Dark Side I felt in the ruins on Dantooine, I’d be surprised if it didn’t have something to do with them.”

“In the end, the Dark Side won’t help them,” Carth says.

“You say that like you know something about it,” I say.

“I, uh… I used to think that it was a fancy name for something that I see every day. Corruption is everywhere. People are greedy and stupid and do horrible things,” he says, “I'm starting to think it's different for the Jedi, however. That there's this evil watching them, waiting for its chance.”

“Wow,” I say, “somehow you make it more ominous than Bastila.”

“I mean, you have so much courage and strength in you... yet, somehow, I have no trouble imagining it differently. Like the flip side of a coin,” he says. Please give me some words of comfort. “It's not just you. It's Bastila, as well. She's so... intense.”

I scoff. “Tell me about it.” 

“I don't pretend to know much about the Force,” he says, “… but I know evil.”

That’s an interesting thing to say. “You think Bastila and I are evil?”

“No, of course not,” he says quickly. Good, finally something comforting. “All I'm saying is that when you have so much power, the stakes are higher. I can only imagine the kind of conflict that goes on inside you. Neither you nor Bastila are fully trained on how to handle your power.” Well, that’s certainly true. “I'm just concerned at what might come.”

Oh, my God, what is that feeling? “That’s sweet,” I say, “I didn’t know you cared.”

He tries to backpedal, but the damage, so to speak, is done. “Well,” he stammers a bit, “that’s not what I… I mean… I wouldn’t want to see you hurt. Either of you.” Uh-huh. Sure. “I suppose finding the Star Maps is more important than your training… and your safety,” he says, “I just hope there isn’t a price for you to pay.”

“Believe me,” I say, “so do I.”

[ravens-rambling]

Prompt: adopted kid!Virgil coming home with Patton and meeting his new brother Roman and other dad Logan (I'm a sucker for fluff lol)

A/N: So uuuuhhhhhhhhh I know you wanted fluff anon but this kinda…accidently turned out completely different and uuhhhh there really isn’t much fluff here mostly angst I AM VERY SORRY!!!! ROMAN IS A BITCH IM SORRY! 

I might write a second part to this? Maybe Pat or Lo finds out how Ro’s been treating V? And they find out why he has (which yes there is a reason) and they comfort him and kinda make him talk to V on what’s wrong blah blah blah. OR I could make it more angsty by having V get sick or injured and Ro realizes how much he actually liked V as a younger brother and starts getting overprotective like an older brother should and they make up blah blah blah. 

So let me know if you guys want a second part to this! 

WC: 2,098

ships: Romantic Logicality 

warnings: Mentions of abuse, mentions of anxiety attacks, mentions of attacks, crying, angst about, Roman being a little bitch, uuhh I think that’s it? Let me know if I miss any please! 

Tag List: @punsterterry @stormcrawler75 @frostedlover @mycatshuman @mutechild @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess @saddestlittlebabe

“I’m so glad we get to finally bring you home, kiddo!”

Patton, his new dad, beamed at him from the front seat as he drove. The small toddler smiled faintly back as the older man talked and talked endlessly. Honestly it felt…weird.

Normally when he gets taken to a new house the new parents don’t…particularly enjoy his company, not by a long shot, and they always make it known that he will never truly be a part of the family. He’ll always be an outcast. A nobody. Somebody that people will just throw away. Somebody that people use for the money, and that’s it. That’s all he’s worth, the few scraps of money that people get when they adopt him.

He’ll never actually be anybody’s son, right?

So why was Patton trying to make him feel that way?

The small darkly worn child couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

So instead he stayed silent throughout the entire trip to their home. Or so he wished he could.

“Oh, Virge, do you like dogs?”

He cleared his throat and mumbled back, “They are alright, sir.”

There was a moment of silence then Patton’s blue eyes met his dark ones from the front mirror. The child gulped and shifted in his seat. He screwed up again, didn’t he?

Majority of the parents didn’t like it when he called them dad or mom, they preferred if he called them sir or ma'am. And though they have gone over that he could call him by his first name he couldn’t help but think that it would all change once he is adopted by them right? They don’t have to put up a nice front anymore.

“Sweetie,” He looked back towards the road, “You don’t have to call me that, we’ve been over this. I know people before liked it when you called them that but you don’t have to with me, alright? I’m your dad now. And Lo’s your dad, too.”

“…Okay…” He mumbled under his breath staring back out of the window as he fidgeted with his hoodie sleeve. He didn’t know what to feel or think about this. Calling them dad? That feels…weird? Wrong? He wasn’t sure what the word is. And he wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to it. But he gulped and shifted more in the seat.

Maybe these men would be different than his previous parents? He could only hope so.

That’s all he’s wanted honestly. Family. Parents. A home. Ever since he understood the concept he’s wanted it. But he’s never gotten it. Sure there have been a few families that have seemed like that but in the end… They weren’t.

Virgil was different. Virgil was a problem child. Virgil was a child who still threw tantrums. Virgil was a child that was too much to deal with.

The list went on.

He’s learned over the few years to not have his hopes up the hard way. It’ll only crush him. What’s the point in wasting time and energy like that? What’s the point of getting attached only for it to be thrown out of the window within a few months time?

What’s the point in believing in something that he shouldn’t ever wish for?

Though he does have to admit Patton and Logan were a bit different then the normal parents he’s had. They were more…cheery. More lively. More energetic. Something that he wished to be a part of, something that his heart ached to be a part of. And they kept saying that they loved him. But were that true? Others have said that before only to turn him back in after a few of his attacks saying they were unable to handle him…

Virgil signed under his breath as he still heard Patton talk again. That was until their house was finally in sight. The child stood up straighter in his seat keeping his head down as they drove up the driveway. He stayed silent still as Pat got outside then let him out.

His eyes drifted over the house his eyes widening at the size of it, he wasn’t expecting the house to be this huge! It looked so fancy from the outside Virgil was worried what the inside was going to look like. He’s going to look so out of place here he could just feel it.

“Come on darling. Time to meet your new family!”

He was jerked out of his thoughts as Patton held out a hand for him to grab, his other hand holding his one bag that held all his clothes. And his plushie spider.

A small smile drifted on his lips as he took Patton’s hand and the older man beamed even more as he did so walking the steps towards his new place.

When they walked in Virgil gasped loudly before he could stop himself. This place was huge! The tile along the floor made everything stand out even more and made it look even more gorgeous. The spiraling staircase that made its way upstairs was something he’s only seen out of movies and TV shows. Everything looked beautiful and expensive…

Way more expensive than he was worth, that’s for sure. And just one thing properly is worth more than the most money he’s ever seen in his life.

Patton only giggled at his expression and gasp, “Welcome home, kiddo!”

“Yes, welcome. Salutations, Virgil. It’s great to finally greet you like this.”

His huge eyes looked over towards the voice, his other…dad’s voice. As normal, he looked rather serious and stern. His glasses set perfectly on his nose. His arms behind his back as well as the tie on his neck tied perfectly. But one thing that was different about him was the fact that he was smiling faintly. That’s properly the most emotion he’s ever seen out of this man.

Logan took a step towards him from what he guessed would be the living room, and Patton beamed at him.

“Our kiddo is finally home Lo! I’m so happy!”

“Yes, yes, Pat I can see that. Here, while I calm him down why don’t you take your stuff to your room? It’s the first door to your right, you can’t miss it, while your there Roman should be coming down to greet you too.”

Patton giggled as he practically tackled Logan in a hug almost knocking his glasses askew but luckily he managed to save them in time. Logan chuckled under his breath and rolled his eyes as his arms wrapped around the cardigan-wearing man.

“Pat, you really do need to calm yourself. You’ll freak him out.”

“I know but I can’t help it darling. I’m just so happy! He’s finally here! Our precious son!”

Virgil just stared at the couple, really unable to process this. Logan and Patton had always seemed like true opposites from the moment he met them. Patton always having a wide bubbling smile on his face, always bouncing from one thing to the next. While Logan was always serious and almost stone cold all the time. He didn’t show many emotions. But with Pat like this…

He could see it in the way Logan’s dark blue eyes flickered underneath his glasses, he could see it in the way a half smile danced on his lips. He could see it in the way Patton kissed him and hugged him.

They really were truly in love with each other, despite the complete opposite personalities.

Virgil supposes that opposites do attract in this case.

Without saying a word he took his things from Patton, who was still attached to Logan and made his way upstairs. Once he was out of their view his shoulders sagged.

Oh, how he wished, yes he would even dare to wish this time after seeing that, that he was loved like that. That he was shown love for once in his life. All he’s ever been shown in hate, or malicious, or bitterness.

As his eyes darted with tears he wiped it against his black jacket sleeves trying his best not to break into tears right here and now. In a bit, once he is truly left alone, then he could cry and want all he wants. For now, though, he’s got to appear hopeful, he’s got to appear that he’s happy to be here.

That he’s not going to have his hopes and dreams come crashing down within a few months.

Blinking away the last of the tears he turned towards where Logan said his room would be, silently admiring how the hallway looked and all the fancy stuff that littered the small hallway. Everything in this house was so fancy! He knew he couldn’t dare touch a single thing in fear of being yelled at.

As he stepped in front of the first door next to the stairs he had to smile, however, at what greeted him. There was paper taped at the door frame. Every single one said things like ‘welcome home, kiddo!’ or ‘we are glad you are finally with us.’ and he just had to smile at that. That’s the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for him…

Though just as he was about to grab for the doorknob he heard other door being opened and glanced down the hallway. A boy came out, by the looks of it a few years older than him, his hair was swept towards the side. He wore a red jacket and jeans, and he didn’t look happy.

At the sight of Virgil his nose wrinkled in disgust, his eyes bore the look like he was looking at filth. Like he was trash. Instantly Virgil tried to bury himself in his jacket, as his hand gripped onto the bag tighter.

He’s dealt with these kids before, this is nothing new. Just don’t say anything and they will get bored eventually. Don’t react. Don’t do anything.

He repeated to himself as he heard, what he guessed would be Roman, a step towards him within a few steps he was right at Virgil. His arms were crossed over his chest as he peered down at the small child.

“This is what Dad and Papa bring home? A child that looks like he just came from the garbage? I don’t know why they bothered with you. Eventually, they will kick you out, you know that right?”

Virgil gulped hard as his hands turned bright white against the bag. Tears once again threated to leak down his cheeks. His body was in fear of shaking, no he can’t have a tantrum here. Not yet. Once he gets in his room he could. Just wait it out. Wait this out.

“Well? Are you going to respond? Or are you going to play the dumb card?”

So this was why he never met this Roman. He’s met Patton and Logan quite a number of times. Nearly every time they have mentioned that they had another kid, another son, that would just adore having a baby brother. But he’s never met him until now.

He sees why.

This is just like the other houses though. If they had other kids they would pick on him. Eat his food. Steal his things. Blame things on him so he’ll get in trouble. It only fed into the whole 'problem child’ title that he had.

Guess this house was going to be the same after all.

Luckily he heard Patton calling for Roman to come down and help with things. That made Virgil want to breath out in relief.

Roman tsked under his breath, “Whatever. This conversation isn’t over, trash scum.”

And just like that, he left, taking a few steps than making his way down the stairs. As soon as Virgil could hear him downstairs he bolted inside his new 'room’ not even caring about the things inside. None of it mattered. None of it will matter.

That kid was right. He doesn’t belong here. He never will.

Why did he even think of a possibility that he could?

He threw his body on the bed throwing his bag on the floor and buried his face in the blankets and pillows. Within a moment he was crying. Though he was crying silently so he could still hear if somebody came by or if somebody called him and so nobody would hear. But he cried, his entire body shaking with his sobs as he heaved out the tears. Gasping for breath as his heart broke yet again.

Couldn’t he just be loved for once in his life? Is that too much to ask?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Sooo... I'm super new to tumblr, but you seem really sweet and I think you can help me here: What in the world is an anti??? Is it a person that's really vocal about hating Johnlock? Is it somebody who just doesn't ship it but wouldn't mind if it became canon? Is it anybody who ships anything else than Johnlock? Pleaseplease help, I'm super confused. And also: What was up with that lost special thing? I did look through various archives, but I still don't get it. Anyway, thanks:)

Aw, hey Nonny! Welcome to tumblr!

An anti is the first one you mention; it’s sort of an umbrella term for those who are vocal against Johnlock / TJLC… we don’t really use it for people who don’t ship Johnlock stay in their own lanes about it, since people are allowed to ship what they want and they are respectful of tags and of us. They may wank a few times about it, as we all do, but they stay off our posts, and out of our tags. It’s more for the people who are vocal about it, put their bigotry and hatred in our tags, and attack people just because our ideas differ from theirs. They reblog or repost our stuff shamelessly and make sure we know about it. It saddens me that these people have so much hatred in their hearts that they just cannot find happiness. It’s best to ignore them; most are just looking for validation and attention, because “any publicity is good publicity”.

As for the Lost Episode, it’s an idea that there may be a secret episode that was filmed during S4, particularly during the TFP filming since TFP’s production value dramatically went down and originality is non-existent. Essentially, the fabled Lost Special will explain what the hell is going on in S4. The fandom itself NEVER  started the secret episode rumour… that was ALL Steven Moffat’s doing. After his comment about a lost episode during the TFP screening, the fandom went on a huge treasure hunt to find clues to its existence, both within the show and during odd happenings during this REALLY not-normal hiatus. You can peruse my ‘secret episode’ blog tag; I’ve linked it chronologically so you can see the earliest happenstances of it!

Hope those answers helped you out; if there’s something you still don’t understand, feel free to contact me off-anon through direct messaging and I’ll help you any way I can :)