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siderealmaven · 1 year ago

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Hi, Hello, Happy New Moon Solar Eclipse in Pisces!! 🐠🐠✨

This eclipse is a bit of a doozy y’all, and I don’t say that to freak anybody out because I don’t think anyone should be freaking out about eclipses, but because it coincides with Mercury Rx reentering Pisces on 4/9 followed by a Mars-Saturn conjunction in Aquarius on the 10th, and Sun conj Mercury Rx on the 11th. When we have a lot of significant transits like these all bunched up together, the energy can be tense and people can easily be overwhelmed.

So before I get into the message of these beautiful cards from the Intuitive Night Goddess Tarot, I just want to remind everyone to slow down, to breathe, and stay away from those conspiracy theory videos that insist your whole life is going to change overnight or that the world will somehow fall into a zombie apocalypse if you blink too long. Make room for whatever you’re feeling and try to remember that this can be a busy, chaotic time for everyone.

The 4 of Wands speaks to this Mercury Rx and the need to slow down and reconsider our boundaries. This is something that is very difficult for a sign like Pisces, who struggles to disentangle themselves from the emotional narrative of the peoples around them but even more so for Aries, which simply can’t be bothered to slow down when it’s mind has been made up.

It’s likely that you have projects, goals, and such that you feel like are on the verge of being “Done,” but will find over the next week that there is more tweaking and perfecting necessary to move forward because you haven’t yet considered all of the angles.

While this can be frustrating, the 4 of Wands also speaks to celebration, graduations, reunions, ceremonies and group gatherings. It’s about hitting a milestone and taking a break to acknowledge how far you have come in your endeavors. It’s about protecting your peace.

Consider how much your perspective and attitudes towards your Pisces and Virgo house topics have changed since March 7th, 2024. How has your intuition allowed you to observe things that you didn’t notice before? What dots are you connecting and what larger picture do they tell you about yourself in this moment in time? Have you found yourself more capable than you originally thought?

The Temperance card advises us to find a balance between our desire to press forward and the need to pause and reflect. Really, this is talking about the types of boundaries we set with ourselves when we are working on something big. Are you the type of person who brews that 3rd or 4th cup of coffee and works late into the night, or someone who keeps saying “yes, I can do that!” When your body is telling you no?

Perhaps you are like me (neurodivergent af) and find yourself hyper focusing on your work and completely forget you are a person that has needs until you look up and see that hours seem to have passed in minutes. If you are like me, you might also be a perfectionist that feels like they can’t walk away until they get things “just right.” (Which honestly, could be never.)

Well if you are, then you also have to learn that creation is exhausting and therefore not having firm, explicit boundaries about how you will treat your body is necessary for any kind of sustainable work schedule. What works for me is setting timers to remind myself to switch tasks. To record my progress everyday so I have a physical reminder that yes, I did work, and it mattered and it adds up over time, I didn’t just imagine it! It’s intentionally scheduling days off because I work for myself and this often leads me to working nonstop.

The Temperance card is a reminder that there are times of work and times of play, times of progress and times of rest. We need both of these times in order sustain our bodies and minds in healthy ways in the long term. This Eclipse Szn, it is time to pause and celebrate how far you’ve come, instead of having that extra energy drink and hammering out the details. Focus less on how far you have left to go and just be proud of yourself for getting to this point.

It’s time to make your boundaries with yourself explicit, so that you can express them to others and they can respect your boundaries too. And I know, this is so much easier said than done, which is why you definitely deserve to have a cookie and hang out with your friends after. Pay attention to who respects your “No,” who accepts your “Maybe next time,” and who reminds you “As long as you’re taken care of, I’m happy.”

As we move into this Mars-Saturn conjunction you may find yourself ready to let go of things, perceptions, ideas, attitudes, old clothes, or even jobs and relationships you’ve outgrown. This is it’s own sort of milestone, even if it feels small or insignificant now, you will look back on this moment as a key time when due to this shedding, you started to see yourself just a little more clearly. (And you look beautiful!)

So take some time off, clean out your closet, call up your friends and get outside. There are a lot of big, bad scary things in this world we can’t control, but something you can always do is plant some joy in your moments and celebrate them like the gift they are.

Originally posted on @siderealmaven ‘s Patreon.

Thank you for reading! ♡

#sidereal astrology #sidereal zodiac #eclipse #full moon eclipse in aries #it’s in sidereal Pisces tho #tee hee

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vindelllas · 4 years ago

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the beauty of ardra 💧🌑

💧margot robbie (ardra surya): upper photo

💧emilia clarke (ardra chandra): lower photo

🌑 the nakshatras of the nodes have a very distinctive appearance. the influence of the feminine rahu bestows ardra natives with the typical feminine features, such as delicate facial features, larger eyes, and a voluptuous body. the yin features of rahu gives natives a type of otherworldly and ethereal appearance, similar to that of saturn. this is because both planets are of the air element (for a better understanding of this go to my pushya nakshatra post). these natives typically have large and rounded eyes, dainty noses, and a lighter complexion (depending on the native’s ethnicity, i.e. if a rahuvian woman is of a darker complexion, she may have a slightly lighter complexion than her other non-rahuvian family members).

⭕️ let’s look at rahu’s most evolved state: the shatabisha nakshatra. this nakshatra is symbolized by the empty, yin circle. shatabisha is ruled by varuna, god of the rains, cosmic and terrestrial waters, sky and earth. in addition to the mystical healer, maya (illusion). the nature of shatabisha is also abundant in the other rahu-ruled vimshottari nakshatras (ardra and swati). this is because rahu is the utmost manifestation of the divine feminine. maya, being the embodiment of illusion, betows rahuvian individuals with the power of being an empty vessel for the divine collective; bending reality and transforming into the desires of others the native deems worthy. however, due to rahu’s rebellious nature, we see this powerful feminine force being steadfast and not easily influenced by others.

💧liv tyler (ardra surya): upper photo

💧emily blunt (ardra chandra): lower photo

🌧 ardra is the first rahu-ruled nakshatra. in order to better understand the nature of ardra, we need to take a step back and understand the previous nakshatra—mrigashira. mrigashira was the rejection of the garden of ignorance and the freedom to move on. in ardra, we see the process of forming the rational mind and free will. due to the intellectual nature of rudra, we see ardra natives preferring to study, understand, and learn about the physical world/plane. this often leads to a fascination with the physical plane and understanding the workings of everything that peaks their interest. with the mercurial energy of gemini (knowledge) and rahuvian influence of the vimshottari system (materialism and illusion), we can see the reasoning of ardra’s prevelance in dystopian, horror, and sci-fi films. this nakshatra’s fixation on understanding the world and finding freedom is the perfect combination for creating films with dark subject matter. rudra’s intentionally destructive nature also provides ardra natives with a niche ability to accumulate knowledge to understand the workings of the world and destroy what seems to not be fit. precisely how rudra represents the emotional release and purification that occurs after the storms of the plane or mind cease (more on this later!). this is similar to most character development in many horror/sci-fi films and the ever present devil/savior trope. if you’re interested in further looking into this dichotomy, i recommend “the exorcist” starring linda blair (ardra chandra), “bedazzled” staring elizabeth hurley (ardra lagna), and “supernatural” starring mark pellegrino (ardra lagna). this trope is also perfectly illustrated by lana del rey’s (ardra surya) music. in her earlier albums, “born to die”, “paradise”, and “ultraviolence”, the singer describes her natural love of the darker things in life (i.e. drugs, violence, guns). as her albums progress, we see her slowly become more aware of the dangers of her lifestyle and her slowly moving towards love and kindness instead—much like rudra’s symbolism of calming after the tumultuous storms of life. i highly recommend listening to her music to gain an understanding of ardra’s themes!

💧karen mulder (ardra surya): left photo

💧victoria beckham (adra lagna): right photo

🦮 ardra is heavily associated with animals. it is symbolized by the female dog yoni. this is indicative of ardra’s devotional, emotional, and knowledgeable nature. rudra is the ruler of this nakshatra. rudra desired to become “the lord of the animals”. this nakshatra also has the same animalistic dominion desire of uttara phalguni and revati. this is because the yonis of all three nakshatras are the female dog (ardra), female cow (uttara phalguni), and female elephant (revati). this may be indicative of the motherly, animalistic nature of all three nakshatras. this is also why all three nakshatras get along so well. the animalistic nature of ardra is why we see hundreds of ardra natives in animal prints, fur or leather, or animal symbolism via graphic tees or headbands; similar to the reoccurring cow print in uttara phalguni fashion!

💧vienna skye (ardra surya): upper photo

💧ariana grande (ardra surya): lower photo

🍀 another reoccuring style theme for ardra was the appreciation of 60s fashion, particularly the mod era of the 60s. time and time again, when doing my research for this post, i saw a multitude of ardra natives dress up/try to emulate 60s fashion. ardra natives such as ariana grande’s (ardra surya) 60s-inspired fashion in her most recent music videos (i.e. “34+35”) and chrissy tiegan’s (ardra lagna) multiple 60s themed events. i believe this behavior is due to rahu’s extreme prevalence in old hollywood and the 1960s’ modeling industry. for example, hedy lamarr (ardra lagna) was a prominent actress and inventor, jean shrimpton (swati surya) was an icon of swinging london and very popular model in the 60s, and pat cleveland (ardra surya) was a very well-known model who was the muse of every prominent fashion house in paris. i believe ardra natives try to emulate this era of fashion because of ardra’s appreciation of all things old and vintage, which appears to the nature of many of the rahuvian and ketuvian individuals. an additional thing to note is the prevalence of the color green in the ardra nakshatra. in hindu/vedic astrology, a particular type of color is dedicated to a certain nakshatra in which is lucky for the natives of the nakshatra to wear. green, being the color that symbolizes the fresh, succulent nature of rudra, is why the ardra natives shown above, vienna skye and ariana grande, are both wearing the color green. this also correlates to how many ardra natives have dyed their hair green shades or hues, i.e. gwen stefani (ardra chandra), nicole richie (ardra chandra), and rapper saweetie (ardra surya).

💧kaya scodelario (ardra chandra): upper photo

💧emma mackey (ardra chandra): lower photo

🎸 all nodal nakshatras tend to have a propensity for darker elements and themes in the media. this can be reflected in ardra’s love for grungy, smoky makeup; darker clothing; and vampy, vintage hair and fashion looks (much like the magha nakshatra). this darker aesthetic was also heavily popular in the 90s/2000s. most notably, lizzy caplan (ardra surya), who played janis ian in “mean girls”, her character was well known for her liking of punk subculture, heavy eye makeup, and band merchandise, a trait that was also common with the characters played by ardra natives: kaya scodelario (ardra chandra) in “skins” and emma mackey (ardra chandra) in “sex education”. this behavior is prevalent in the ketu and rahu natives because it reflects the smoky and tamasic nature of both shadow planets. by rejecting the more popular, mainstream trends for the purpose of embracing more expressive and alternative movements (such as grunge, punk, rock, alternative, etc.). this why we see the nodal nakshatras so prominent in those subculture musical genres (i.e. ardra natives kurt cobain of “nirvana” and jimmy page of “led zeppelin”).

as always, i am open to any constructive criticism! i tried to touch on both the appearance, fashion and nature of ardra and i hope i did well! this post took me forever to make and i truly tried to put so much effort into it! i just adore ardra’s emotional, purposefully destructive, raw and feminine energy its natives tend to reflect 🌩 if you are looking for more information about ardra, get to know the overrulers and supreme deities of rahu, durga (the goddess of power) and the serpent god, and mercury, vishnu (the maintainer) and narayana (the cosmic person)!! if any of my placements or information is incorrect please feel free to let me know! also, i am fully aware of the origins of vedic astrology and if i was in anyway disrespectful to hindu culture, i will take down this post immediately xx

* all of these placements were found using astrotheme/.com and/or astro-charts/.com. it is important to note that some chandra (moon) placements may be off by up to 6 degrees and lagnas (risings) as well, due to the fact that many websites do not have a 100% accurate birth time for the given celebrities.

* i take no credit for the invention of vedic astrology-based appearance profiles. please watch claire nakti on youtube or look into @/cn0bles, @/lovejustlied, @/dh4nishta, and @/vanillemercure on twitter for more in-depth analysis on vedic astrology xx

#vedicastrology #gemini #ardra nakshatra #nakshatras #mercury planet #maya #gemini moon #budha #north node #rahu ketu #gemini aesthetic #grunge #60s aesthetic #astrology #astro notes

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holy-mountaineering · 4 years ago

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This spread is for @mirronx Thank you, as always!

Here’s the full Qabalistic Tree of Life Spread that I do. What I’m going to do is go through and briefly explain each card, its position on the Tree, and then I’ll give you a summary/synopsis of the spread as a whole. You know the routine.

Think of this spread as a sort of quantum map, or even the land of a regular map, everything is happening at once, in each place. It’s important to think of yourself as moving “through” the map but you are also simultaneously everywhere at once. For the sake of this specific experiment, think of this as a map. Maybe as a person, the Qabalistic Adam Kadmon.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have XV The Devil OR The Lord of the Gates of Matter, Ayin, Capricorn.

The Goat-Fish who is half in the mountains and half in the deeps of the oceans, high places and the deep. This guy gets a REALLY bad rap that is very unwarranted. All The Devil is trying to do is Incarnate or materialize by Higher methods.

The card is a giant cock with faceless little white people in the balls looking like they want out, again, possibility is trying to take hold and become a physical thing. The Devil IS a trickster (“you little devil” and assorted shit sayings like that) so that worries some people. Those people are squares and probably have bad taste in music.

Manifest your potential and figure it out when it’s “real” and not just a passing thought or whim.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of your hometown is the 6 of Cups, Pleasure.

For reasons, I call this the plumbing card. The water is not flowing freely as though it is pouring, it has been pumped through a series of tubes intricately woven together to fill the cups placed in the shape of a hexagram. Emotion and connectedness to life are intentionally being directed by unseen but invited forces. Someone who wasn’t looking closely could see nothing but knots and chaos and even wonder how the damn thing worked in the first place. Those people are squares and should be avoided at all costs.

Do what gives you pleasure that also instills clarity. Center on the best you can feel even if onlookers can’t appreciate what you’re doing connoisseurs (and you) will dig it.

This is the emotional peak experience. This peak is a feeling of a connection, a filling up with life’s water and flowing out to all other life. Intuition is raised here if you look from your mountain top where your perspective is different. The accumulated force of the suit of water is forcing its way forward and down and cutting a path as it goes. Be careful you don’t get too swept up and fall from this height.

You’re coming to a peak emotional/relationship(s with those around you) experience. Enjoy the view but descend carefully.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is the 5 of Disks, Worry.

Like all of the 5s in Tarot, this is the microcosmic or human number . Don’t believe me? Stand up, stick your arms and legs out and counting your head, congrats, you’re a pentagram. Lord knows people worry like motherfuckers about how they are going to get by in the “normal” world, so there is a stress and strain in this card that everyone late on a bill can understand. This is the worry that you’ll get your intelligence (Mercury) smothered by the laborious strain of Taurus. This is, like all 5s a human limitation issue.

Well it won’t unless you only see your limitations and make it happen. Be smarter about you material situation so you don’t have to work harder.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is (another 5) the 5 of Swords, (mental/communication) Defeat.

Like all 5s this is the microcosmic or human card, if you don’t believe me stand up and stick out your arms and legs, boom, you’re a pentagram. Swords are mind, thought processes, communication and the like, and this is mental growth limited by its mundane focus or dwelling on the limitations of yourself and other individuals.

Realize your limitations and the limitations of others. You are seriously just a human and so is everyone else. Try to focus your mind on bigger picture things instead of mundane/shitty people, ideas, thoughts, and ways of thinking.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is XVIII The Moon, Pieces, Qoph.

This is the ‘Sun at midnight where you stand shines on the other side of the world’. The pull of night and day eventually rising, illuminating what was once dark. As opposed to the old Aeon idea of the Sun dying, this is the cyclic motion of the push and pull of the day and night. The dark gives the light context and vis-a-versa.

See the light in the dark, accept the cyclic push and pull, if you don’t like what “time of day it is” in your life I assure you it will change like the tides.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is XXI The Universe, Saturn, Tau.

The Universe is the totality of what we can sense and know. The dance of the Woman with the cosmic serpent and the Eye destroying while everything constantly recreates. We see the Universe only from our position in it. You may send out your satellites to explore unknown areas but you can only process what they might mean from your place. The more we try to take into our restrictive minds and spirits, the more we know about the whole and ourselves and our place in the Universe.

Step back and look at the connections and totality of everything you know and experience. It’s quite a view.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the YET ANOTHER 5, WHAT’RE YOU A TAURUS??? The 5 of Wands, Strife.

Like all the 5s, this is a microcosmic or human number. It’s also the halfway point between two things. This is the drag when you see how far you’ve come and see that you have the exact same grueling distance to go. Your feet will start to drag. The natural friction of motion becomes very apparent here and it is more annoying and nagging than anything else.

You might be stuck between a rock and a shitty place with what you’re doing, but just truck on, it’s not so bad once you get past where you are and get moving at full speed again.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the 10 of Disks, Wealth.

This card is intelligence (Mercury) in fertile possibility (Virgo). This is the peak material situation, a good situation, a situation you really want to be in.

Be swift and mindful of your material task at hand and your everyday experience, it is nearing its end and you stand to profit.

Put your smarts and your communication skills in the most fertile possibilities and cash in before things start to come down from this peak opportune time.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the Ace of Disks, the root power of Earth or the material.

This is the foundation which all your solid structures are and will be built on. This is the very root of your real world/material life situation. While this doesn’t mean you must tear everything down or that there is nothing in your material world that you’ve built, it does mean you must look at the source from which you’ve built your material and everyday world. If you have no foundation you can have no structure. If you have a shoddy foundation, you’ll have a shoddy structure. Look to what things were like before you began building. Is there sand beneath you? Are you in a swamp, building castles of stone that will bind to the mud and be pulled down much sooner than later? Did you account for the raise in elevation when you laid your foundation? Look down to the base of what you’ve made and what you’ve made it upon.

This is an engineering job, you’ll need tools to measure and level everything out. The occult might not be the best place to find these tools and it is possible that you have issues much more base than you’re willing to cop to. There are many tools you can use to look at your foundation provided in psychology and meditation from other sources. The Universe throws us extreme situations and more often than not, this is the only way people see their basest of instincts and behaviors really act out. If you can, take a look at what connects you and what you’re building to the Earth before an earthquake, tornado, volcano, or other act of G-D forces you to pray everything was fine. Check the strength of your foundations before the strength of your foundations are checked.

Get down to the base fundamentals of what is going on in your material (things, money, living situation, literal stuff) and build from the ground up if you must.

Alright, so, it’s time to make manifest the possibilities, the desires that have gone unspoken, don’t worry about other people’s interpretations of YOU and your wants and needs, there will be those who care to unravel the tangle that is each of us as an individual. You WILL find this, in some way, some how, and that WILL be that big emotional release and connection that you’ve been feeling is around the bend, it’s coming up, fear not!

Seriously, don’t kill your own vibe, or your ability to act when the time arrives by doubt, needless, baseless doubt. Everything is moving for you, or it will be soon rather, and you have to trust that the Sunrise is just over the horizon

And there is a bigger picture here, you’re not only fulfilling your own desires, those longings serve a Greater purpose, do NOT doubt them, or their fulfillment.. And don’t trip yourself up when it doesn’t hit at the time that is most convenient for you. I said it would happen, I didn’t say it wouldn’t be a little messy, but messy is fun. All that being said, you want to bring in those nouns (people places things) that CAN make this happen, the most fertile possibilities that will be a part of the motion toward this. But, don’t think you’ll be the same, even in the same place when you’re done. You might not physically move, but unleashing desires, longed for moves us… Ever Towards...

Ta Da!

Hit me up with any questions! What a great Reading, I’m really happy for you and I’m excited to hear about your next few months!

-Frater N0VGHT

#magick #occult #thelema #tarot #divination #cartomancy

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smooshjames · 5 years ago

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forget you not (iv)

you knock on my door and tell me you don’t wanna fight (or: inside jokes and invitations)

word count: 4.5k

a/n: part four of forget you not! this is the second to last part as it stands right now, but i am toying with the idea of writing an epilogue. i haven’t made up my mind on that front quite yet, it’ll probably depend on if there’s any demand for an epilogue once the parts i’ve got written are all finished up. anyway, the usual disclaimers: i didn’t write any of the songs mentioned, they all belong to little mix, this chapter’s songs are here and here (no new ones this time, but i figure i’ll link them anyway for the sake of easy access). here is a link to my ko-fi, which, as usual, is never an obligation. thank you for taking the time to read this, and i hope you enjoy!

warnings: more angst (surprising, right?), an author who is very bad at sketch comedy trying to write characters who are very good at sketch comedy

previous parts: one, two, three

With the red dot on the cameras blinking, you knew it was even more important now that you kept up that positive facade. You did your best to think about good things, hoping your smile wouldn’t look too forced.

To your right, Shayne launched into an energetic intro where he explained the rules of the game and introduced you guys as guests. Once he had given his little speech, he turned to you, though his eyes were fixed on the partition over your shoulder. Still, his smile didn’t waver for even a second. “So, are you guys ready to play?”

You nodded enthusiastically and laughed in easy agreement as you were elected to be the first person in the stool. You filled your mouth with water and flashed a thumbs-up, and out came Alexis. She used an inside joke, which was probably cheating, but it made you spit your water out anyway.

The game went on like this for a while, until finally, the only person yet to try to make you laugh was Shayne. You braced yourself as he asked if you were ready, humming an affirmative and doing your best to keep your breathing even.

He came out holding a red telephone, which he set on top of the bongos.

“Watch this,” he said, flashing you a shit-eating grin. For a second, you felt yourself tilting forward into that grin, into those eyes. Your heart jackhammered in your chest. It was the first genuine smile he’d given you all day, and God it was beautiful. “Hi, Dominos? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

You knitted your eyebrows in confusion.

“Watch this though,” he said. He mashed his finger against the phone buttons and lifted it again. “Hi, Pizza Hut? You’re my favorite pizza place.”

And then he nodded at you a little, smiling expectantly. When you didn’t laugh, he held up one finger. “Watch this though.”

With his free hand, he made a sort of waving motion in the direction of the partition, and out came Damien holding an identical red phone. He handed it to you and then went back to where all the props were. Shayne dialed his phone and made a little ringing sound effect for emphasis. You picked up your phone.

“Hi, Y/N?” he asked. You hummed something vaguely resembling “hello” into the receiver, figuring you might as well play along with the bit. In the same voice, with that same shit-eating grin, he said, “you’re my favorite singer.”

You weren’t sure why, maybe it was the strange vocal inflection or the mirth in his eyes as he said it, but sure enough, you sprayed water all over the soundstage. Shayne laughed gleefully as you did so, and the sound of it made you forget to breathe for just a second; you hadn’t heard that laugh in years. It made your chest ache to hear it again. In a sort of daze, you handed him your prop and he took it backstage.

Everyone came back out and you had to choose who made you laugh the hardest. You picked Damien, who had pranced out in an insanely tangled red wig with a stuffed flamingo in one hand, partially because he had made you laugh really hard and partially because you were trying to procrastinate Shayne's turn as much as possible.

Damien’s round passed quickly, and you managed to make him laugh after a few seconds. He chose Piper to go next, so she took her place on the stool. You went backstage with everyone else and started sifting through props to think of a bit.

And then Shayne fully took his shirt off.

You froze halfway through picking up a cowboy hat. You were pretty sure that anyone listening closely enough could’ve heard the gears in your brain grinding to a halt.

You wondered, if you started running now, how far into the ocean you could get before anyone noticed you were gone.

Carly nudged you with her elbow and asked you to help her with a bit, forcing you to turn away from Shayne, which was probably for the best. You took the opportunity to remind yourself that not only did he have a new girlfriend, but that the two of you didn’t work. You never had and you never would.

And before you knew it, Piper’s round was over, and Shayne was up next. You felt a bolt of panic. You knew you could make him laugh, but you weren’t sure how to go about doing it and you were rapidly running out of time to figure it out. Finally, you decided against every bit of logic you had. You decided to just go with an inside joke.

He probably wouldn’t remember it, anyway. It didn’t really matter. If you didn’t make him laugh it wasn’t the end of the world. At the end of that day, you were just here to promote the band.

At least, this is what you told yourself as you stood behind the partition waiting for your turn. But your hands were trembling anyway.

Your turn came up. Alexis gave you a little high five on your way out. You walked up to Shayne’s right side and leaned in close to him, careful not to touch him. You looked at him through your eyelashes and shifted your weight from foot to foot. “Hey,” you said, voice low and sultry. Shayne’s brows knitted in confusion, and you feared for a moment that he had forgotten. You were probably only half-audible to the mics, but you didn’t care. You were focused single-mindedly on making Shayne laugh. “I was just wondering… do you like tacos?” You were careful to drag out the vowels on the word ‘tacos.’ You heard Damien start giggling behind the partition.

At least he remembered.

And then Shayne’s eyes widened and he surged forward as he tried to keep the water in. Your heart skipped a beat, though you couldn’t quite pin down why.

“Do you like tacos, Shayne? Do you?” you asked, leaning a little closer. You felt more confident now that you knew he remembered the joke. “Tell me how much you like tacos, Shayne.”

That did the trick. He sprayed water everywhere, shrieking with laughter as he did so.

Once the water was cleaned up, everyone else came back out from behind the partition and Shayne chose Alexis to go next.

After Alexis, it was Carly’s turn, and then you were all done. You had even finished a little bit ahead of schedule.

Ian came over once the cameras were cut, smiling brightly. “That was really good, you guys! Thanks so much for coming in today.”

“Thanks for having us!” Alexis said. “It was a ton of fun.”

You nodded in agreement but you were only half-listening. Shayne had somehow ended up right next to you during the outro of the video, and he hadn't made an effort to move away after the cameras stopped rolling. He was close to you, maybe a little closer than necessary, and that fact was all you could focus on.

As you were listening to Ian talk about when the video would be released, you felt Shayne wrap his hand around your forearm, squeezing lightly to get your attention. That one simple touch set your entire right side on fire. You felt like he’d lit off a fireworks display under your skin. You turned to face him, and you couldn’t help noticing that he looked more than a little bit like a kicked puppy.

“Can we talk?” he asked. His voice was soft, a stark contrast to how loud he’d been just minutes before as you were filming the video outro. “Just for a few minutes, please?”

At these questions, a knot of mixed emotion -- fear, anger, a little misguided hope -- gathered in a knot at the base of your spine and squeezed so hard you went lightheaded with it.

You glanced around for Michelle, who was watching you like a hawk. You tilted your head toward Shayne and shrugged. She nodded.

“Okay,” you replied. In all honesty, you weren’t sure why you said yes. You didn’t know what he could possibly have to say to you. Your mind raced with all the worst-case scenarios; that he would rub his new girlfriend in your face, that he would say something mean or insulting, that he would tear down what little you had managed to build yourself up. You wrestled those ideas into submission, though. Shayne had made his mistakes, but he had never been intentionally cruel.

He led you back through the office until he found an empty conference room. You closed the door behind you as you entered.

“What’s up?” you asked. You cringed as it was coming out of your mouth. Really? What’s up?

Now that you were alone, some of his forced Funny Man bravado seemed to crumble away. His shoulders slumped and the shine went out of his eyes, and the look he gave you was sad, exhausted.

You felt like the earth was rotating the wrong way, like God had vacuum sealed the room shut, like Saturn was crashing into Jupiter and imploding on impact.

“I, um…” he mumbled. He shoved his hands into his pockets and chuckled nervously. For a moment, you were reminded of the first time he’d asked you out. You’d both been so young then, and he had been all nerves and goofy smiles. You knew even from that first conversation that you were a goner. “I should’ve planned out what I was gonna say, huh? I had all weekend to think about it.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” you said. “This weekend has been… a series of really fucking weird, awful coincidences. You don’t have to, like, apologize. We’ll just chalk it up to being a series of unfortunate events.”

His brow furrowed and his head tilted slightly, which really intensified the whole kicked puppy vibe he had going. Your heart ached, and there was a moment where the muscles in your legs twitched, where your body tried to move itself over to him without your brain’s consent.

You stayed rooted to your place.

“What?” he asked, voice small, barely even audible over the hum of the air conditioning.

You shrugged. “It’s okay, Shayne. I’m not, like, upset that you moved on --”

Bold-faced lie number one.

“Wait,” he said, but you couldn’t hear him over the blood roaring through your ears.

“-- and Courtney seems really nice, so I’m happy that you’re happy --”

Bold-faced lie number two.

“No, just --” he tried to interrupt you again, but you kept going.

“-- and I’m sorry that we had to see each other again in this context, it’s been… really fucking weird. But that doesn’t mean you need to try to make it better, okay? Don’t worry about me.”

Bold-faced lie number three.

Before you could conjure up more ways to end the conversation and escape the room, Shayne took a halting step forward.

“Courtney and I aren’t dating,” he said. Your mouth snapped shut as your brain slammed on the brakes. “We’re just friends. I went to the concert with her because the person she was supposed to go with canceled last minute and she couldn’t find anybody else.”

Oh.

“And I’m sorry we had to see each other again in this context, too, but not because I want to patronize you by telling you that I’m sorry things didn’t work out. I mean I am sorry things didn’t work out, but not in like a My Life Is Better Now, Sorry About That kinda way --” he stopped, faltering, obviously unsure of how to put his thoughts into words.

Oh.

“I mean, if anything, you’re the one who’s better now; --” wait, what? “-- you’re successful, doing what you love, surrounded by your friends, and you’ve clearly moved on. --” wait, what? “-- But I just wanted to talk to you because… I don’t really know why, honestly. Because a part of me is still twenty-one and in love with you, I guess.”

So that was what it was like to have every organ in your body simultaneously crushed under a hydraulic press. Interesting.

You couldn’t think of anything poetic to say, so you settled for what seemed the most pressing. “You think I cried on stage singing Towers, a song I wrote about you, because I’m over you? You think I’m the one who’s moved on?”

He shrugged meekly. “I don’t know. That was just one song. You sang a hell of a lot of other songs about how you don’t need a man, about how your life is great. And those aren’t bad things! They were really good songs, but I just assumed --”

“Carly and Alexis wrote all those songs,” you said flatly. He fell silent. “I just sing them.”

There was a moment of silence that seemed to last an eternity, and then there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Shayne said, his eyes still locked on yours.

A tall brunet man with a thick beard opened the door and stuck his head inside. “Hey,” he said. “There’s a meeting in here in five minutes.” And then he looked between the two of you, and his eyes narrowed. You figured the tension in the room was so palpable, even a stranger could pick up on it. “Everything okay, Shayne?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Shayne replied. “We’ll be out of here in a minute. Sorry, Matt.”

“No problem,” the man, Matt, said. He nodded at you in acknowledgment, seeming more than a little confused at your presence. The door closed softly as he left.

“It’s probably for the best,” you said. “Michelle will have a coronary if I’m gone for too long. Places to be, people to see, insanely specific and personal questions to answer.”

He laughed a little bit, nodding, and for a moment the heavy awkwardness that had settled in the room seemed to lift just slightly. “Is your number still the same?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you replied. “Why?”

“I’ll text you my new address. Um, if you can, if you want to, it would probably be good for you to come over tonight to talk a little more. I can order some dinner for us. Only if you want to. I just don’t think… I don’t want to leave things this way.”

A sudden bolt of anger streaked through you, fiery hot. You clenched your jaw. He didn’t want to leave things this way? He had no qualms with leaving things this way when he’d let your entire relationship go down the drain all those years ago. And now he just got to waltz back in and invite you over for dinner and pretend he didn’t cause you the worst heartbreak you’d ever felt? After you had finally gotten yourself close to okay again, he got to come back in and ruin everything, knock you right back down to where you started? That wasn’t fucking fair.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to,” you said, and it wasn’t a lie. You still had one more interview after leaving the Smosh offices. You’d be completely worn out by the time that was done, especially on top of the exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster that you’d boarded against your will.

“I’ll send the address anyway,” Shayne said. “Don’t feel pressured to come. If you don’t, I completely get it. You can delete the text and block my number if you want. I swear that after this I’ll never bother you again. But just in case.”

“Okay,” you replied. You really didn’t want to argue with him. You just wanted to track down Michelle and the band and go on your way to the next interview and try to forget about everything that had happened in the last three days. “Fine.”

He nodded and pulled out his phone, and after a moment you felt your own vibrate in your back pocket. You wondered briefly if he had your number memorized, which would have been kind of weird, or if he’d just never deleted your contact information. The notion that the latter might be true made your heart skip a beat.

Once he had repocketed his phone, he looked up at you. There was a moment of lingering silence where it was clear that neither of you knew what to say.

Finally, you lifted your hand in farewell. “It’s been, um… it was good to see you again, Shayne.” Bold-faced lie number four. “Bye.”

“Bye, Y/N,” he said.

Doing your best to ignore the tightness in his voice, you walked past him out of the room and scurried off to meet up with the band. You found them talking to Courtney, Damien, and another girl that you didn’t recognize. She was about Courtney’s height, Chinese, with brown hair and eyes.

“Ready to go, Y/N?” Piper asked.

“I think so,” you said. You turned to Damien and nodded your head over your shoulder. “Got a minute for goodbye?”

He nodded and the two of you retreated away from the rest of the group, not leaving their view but definitely out of earshot. “I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you,” he said.

“It’s okay, Damien, really,” you replied. You reached out to squeeze his arm reassuringly. “This weekend was wild for everybody involved. At least we got to see each other again, right? This has been really nice.”

He grinned and pulled you into another bear hug. “Yeah, it has been,” he said, and you felt it as a rumble in his chest more than you actually heard it. When you parted, he left one hand lingering on your arm and squeezed lightly before it dropped to his side. “Call sometime, okay? I’ve missed you.”

“Will do, Dames.” You glanced over your shoulder and saw Michelle looking at you expectantly. She tapped her wristwatch. You sighed. “I gotta run. I’ll see you around.”

He nodded and said a final goodbye before you turned to make your way back to the band. You noted on your way that Shayne had returned from the conference room. He was talking to Courtney and the brunette now.

You ignored the feeling of his eyes on you as you walked out of the offices and into the LA sunlight beyond.

***

Shayne came back from the conference room a few seconds after you did. He did his best not to watch you and Damien saying goodbye, did his best to push down the surge of jealousy as you hugged him. You were smiling up at him and it seemed easy, carefree. It was like you’d just seen each other yesterday. He wished he could be like that with you, even though he knew why he couldn’t. He was doomed to sad smiles and airless rooms and awkward tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

If time travel was real, he’d go back to that final night with you and kick his own ass.

Damien’s hand on his shoulder startled him out of his self-loathing. He turned to face his best friend and didn’t bother concealing the hurt on his face; Damien would see right past it even if he tried.

“You okay?” Damien asked. Shayne let out a strangled laugh. Of course he wasn’t okay.

“I feel like somebody tried to wring all the water out of my body,” he replied.

“What’s up with you today?” Courtney asked, and Shayne startled. He’d sort of forgotten she was there.

Shayne sighed. He figured he might as well tell her; she’d probably find out at some point anyway. That or she’d piece it together herself.

“Y/N and I used to be a couple, way back when,” he said. Courtney’s eyes went almost comically wide. “And it… didn’t end very well. Seeing each other again has been really fucking weird for both of us.”

“That’s why she cried when she sang Towers,” Courtney said, more to herself than to anyone in the room. She looked at Damien. “Is that why you know her? ‘Cause of her and Shayne?”

Damien shook his head. “Me and her were friends first. I introduced them.”

Courtney nodded slowly, obviously trying to process this new information. “Oh,” she said. Shayne couldn’t tell where her brain was (he rarely could). If he had to guess, he’d say she was probably combing over her every memory of the past weekend and looking for any indications of the history between you and Shayne. Sure enough, she continued after a moment: “that’s why she looked so constipated when we were at the photo op, and why you ‘needed some air’ halfway through the concert, and why you got all weird when I put my arm around your shoulders before, and why you disappeared after --” she stopped, her brows furrowing for a moment and then raising suddenly. She smirked. “Where’d you go after you finished filming, Shayne? You both came back pretty much at the same time.”

“Courtney --” Shayne said, voice scolding, trying to get her to stop whatever hellish train of thought she was getting onto.

“You’re still in love with her, huh?” Olivia said. She’d been silent for most of the conversation, but she was looking at him like she could see into his soul. Shayne froze. Was he that fucking obvious?

“Still in love with who?” Ian’s voice to his left startled him.

Courtney and Olivia stopped talking now, which Shayne was grateful for. They at least had the decency to let Shayne tell Ian on his own. Everyone looked from Ian to Shayne and back.

“Uh --” Shayne said. “I, um…”

“Is this about whatever weird shit is between you and the girl from the band?” Ian asked. Shayne threw his hands in the air, frustrated. Did the whole world know? Was he that easy to read?

“How did you…?”

“I’ve known you for almost five years, Shayne,” Ian replied. “You looked like you wanted to die during that entire shoot. There were a couple of moments it was so bad that I almost asked Courtney to come in and take your place. But the crew people said it didn’t come through on camera, so I just chalked it up to the fact that I know you so well. You also left with her right after we were done filming. Putting two and two together here doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist.”

Shayne sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair, which made it look even more insane than it usually did. “We dated years ago. The way it ended was my fault. I shouldn’t have broken up with her. I shouldn’t have let her go. She was… she is one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. This weekend has rubbed everything I did wrong right into my face.”

“Is that it, then?” Courtney asked. “She walks out of here and you let her? After the universe, fate, whatever you wanna call it put in all the effort to bring you together again… you let her go? You repeat your biggest mistake?”

Shayne had to force down an anguished sound at that. He knew Courtney was trying to get him to chase after you, but in reality, she was probably right. You wouldn’t want to come to his apartment to talk things out. You wouldn’t want to see him after everything. You wouldn’t forgive him. And he didn’t deserve your forgiveness, anyway. You were absolutely right to ignore the invitation.

“I asked if she would come over,” he said. He was trying to be hopeful. But he’d seen the way your eyes narrowed when he invited you to his place. Your jaw had dropped and then tightened in that way it did when you were torn between anger and disbelief. “If she does, maybe we can talk things out. But it’s been years. I don’t know if she’ll… I don’t know, you guys.”

He was breathing, that much he knew, but he was sort of starting to wonder if someone had poked a hole in his trachea because he was pretty sure the air wasn’t making it to his lungs. He looked around at his friends, all staring at him like he should know the answer, like he should be able to just whip a magical solution out of his ass and call it a day, a happy ending with a neat little bow.

“I’m gonna take a walk,” he said, a little louder than necessary, because the room was suddenly way too fucking small. Before anyone could object, he walked quickly away from the group and down the hall until he found an empty soundstage. He slumped against the wall and slid down onto the ground. The events of the last three days were piling onto his shoulders like bricks. Memories of you were branded onto his brain and he couldn’t stop replaying them, a highlight reel of what he’d had and what he’d lost. You, years ago, laughing and looking at him like he was the only person in the room. You, years ago, standing in the living room, looking at him like he’d just driven a knife through your heart.

In an instant, he felt like Atlas, holding the weight of his own mistakes. Holding memories both good and bad; your first date, your first kiss, your first fight. You had said ‘I love you’ first because he wasn't brave enough, and you’d looked terrified as you did it, like you were afraid he’d laugh at you and push you away. You’d always looked half-scared, he realized; scared of rejection and pain and heartbreak. And he’d gone and thrown those fears right back in your face.

It took about three seconds for Shayne to collapse in on himself. He barely made it to the couch before his knees gave out on him. He stared up at the ceiling for a long while, desperately trying to process whatever the hell had just happened.

You were gone, and the apartment felt empty without you. It was a new type of loneliness, one he’d never experienced before. He felt a little like his chest was caving in and little like he was astral projecting, like he wasn’t quite contained within the walls of his body. He reached for his phone and sent you a barely-coherent text, apologizing and asking you to come home. And then he texted Damien and asked if he was home. He needed someone’s company.

He stared up at his ceiling while he awaited a response, considering all the things that had led him to this newest, most monumental fuck-up. Suddenly, the time he’d forgotten your birthday made him look like Boyfriend of the Year.

And then he reached into his pocket and he produced the little blue box he’d gotten just yesterday, and he opened it and looked at the ring inside. Not too flashy -- he didn’t have the money for any big diamonds, and you’d once joked that you didn’t want your engagement ring to weigh five tons. He smiled at the memory and traced his finger over the small diamond at the center of the ring.

God, what the fuck had he just done?

Shayne’s head thumped against the wall behind him, and he cried.

#shayne topp x reader #shayne topp #eliza.txt #forget you not

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

Text

Survey #259

"i went straight to heaven, but i kept on knockin’.”

What's something that makes you feel more creative? Music. What are the last three nail polish colors you wore? Wow, idk the last time I wore nail polish, but probably black or maroon. What's the last thing you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. Do you watch youtube videos or tv shows more? YouTube is essentially my TV. Quite literally - I don't have a television in my room because I never watch it. What's a DIY project that you don't think actually works? Oh dude, plenty. I have DIY-obsessed friends online as well as a Pinterest, I know this shit, lmao. I can name one though with total certainty because I was with a friend when she tried that disgusting "YOU CAN MAKE cuPCAkES IN A C uP!!!!!" crap. It's the most eggy shit you'll ever try. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I think those crafts are generally super cute. Have you ever gotten rid of something and then regretted it? If so, what? (or what's one thing?) Oh yeah, one of my biggest being my senior prom pictures, but not for the reason you'd expect (save for two pictures of us that're just REALLY fuckin cute): I want them back because goddamn I was pretty ok and I miss that now that I hate my body every waking moment of every day. :^) What color is the zip-up hoodie you wear the most? Don't have one w/ a zipper, they're ugly. Do you live in an apartment that has inspections? No. Do you hate taking naps during the day? Nooo I love naps and usually take one a day. I tend to feel really tired all over again a few hours or so after I wake up. Who in your immediate family has the best natural hair? MEEEEEEEEEEEE. Would you ever audition for American Idol? Hell no. Do you know anyone who thinks they're more talented than they are? Lol wow, this is mean. I don't think so. Do you buy gum? Rarely, even though I like it. What's your favorite dollar store? I don’t have a favorite, I'd say? But I think we normally go to Dollar General. How many cell phones have you had in your lifetime? Maybe like, six? Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? BITCH I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would kill to get married in one, omfGGGGGGGGGGG. What was the most boring field trip you ever want on? I don't remember a bad one. I loved going on field trips. The last time you went, what were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? I’ve never been. Which country would you most like to visit? Eeeeek idk, but probably South Africa. What are your favorite types of videos to watch on YouTube? What I watch on YouTube has become pretty diverse, but I know my favorites are easily Mark's actual big projects w/ egos 'n shit alksjdflk;w gOOD SHIT MY FRIENDS. I still love let's plays, of course! Are you a hoarder? No. Is there a guy (or girl) that you wish things had worked out with? Yes. If you were to start a collection, what would it be? I'd loooove Shadow of the Colossus stuff, particularly the amazing figures they used to have only in Japan. And World of Warcraft stuff; all I have rn is an Illidan poster and a fae dragon plushy hanging from my ceiling that Jason got me. If you were rich, what things would you get done cosmetically? Mother of god, a lot. #1, make me skinny again for the love of fuck. Which would result in loose skin being taken off and probably a breast lift because being overweight ruined my comfort with them laskdjfw. Whiten my teeth and give me laser hair removal surgery on my legs, please. Are your parents too controlling? Not at all. Who is your favorite fictitious redhead? VOL'JIN Blizzard what the FUCK give him BACK What shows have you seen on Broadway? None. Who is the prettiest Asian YouTuber that you can think of? Bitch Mark is Korean and he's gorgeous as fuck goddamn it ain't fair. But this is a weird question. What is the best news you've heard lately? When my mom got a follow-up blood test, things looked good!! She especially needed to level out her sugar, which she did well on. She also didn't lose or gain any weight, so that's wonderful. Have you ever flown first class? Hunny I am v poor. Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back? I don't believe so, anyway. Do you talk in your sleep? Very regularly now. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? OOF, yes. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick with me for a long, long time. At least two I remember from years upon years ago. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My old therapist that I trusted and loved when I fucking shouldn't have. Where were you raised? By who? Eastern NC, by my parents. What were your first words? "Dada." What were some of your favorite things when you were young? DINOSAURS, Webkinz, Pokemon, and Spyro, to name a few. What did you grow up listening to? Mostly country and pop music. What games did you play in the past? Spyro was my obsession, and I also loved hunting games (ironic, as irl I would never even consider it???) as well as fishing ones, plus Crash Bandicoot. What was the best birthday party you ever had? I'm not sure. How about the best vacation? I'm unsure; I haven't really been on a lot. Do you have any secrets you never intend to tell? Yup. What memory would you like to disappear from your mind forever? A nightmare I had about my dad. If you were someone else, would you be friends with the person you are now? Yeah. Do you consider yourself a smart person? No. What friend in your life has been the greatest influence to you? I don't know. Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? What made it so terrifying? I shared a bedroom with an EXTREMELY volatile, violent woman once in the mental hospital. As in she had to go in solitary when she had a violent episode, during which she became very destructive to her surroundings, so as you could guess, I was worried about my own wellbeing. She was eventually moved because I was that uncomfortable. Did you celebrate Easter? Are there any holidays you are more inclined to celebrate than others? If so, which? Well, Easter hasn't come yet, but we'll probably go to my sister's house for the kids. We'll celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving without fail. We don't pay much attention to others. I'd LOVE to do something for Halloween, we just never have anywhere to go/anything to do. What was the last thing you deleted? Pictures. What colors make up the majority of your wardrobe? Is there any color you like, but don’t wear often? There's black there. Oh, there's s'more black. What's that???? More bLACK????? MAN, I wish I could pull off pink. When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? I had a pretty intense headache yesterday. Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? My niece, and yeah, every time I visit. What are you most likely to argue or debate about? The fact I almost never leave my pajamas lmao. What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? A few days back, I was reeeaaally bored and actually watched TV deliberately, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? It was The Witcher; wasn't bad. I'd be willing to watch more. How would you describe your taste in clothing? What would a dream outfit look like to you? uuuuuggggGHHHHHHHH let me be GOTH. Give me a corsette if they weren't notoriously uncomf with plenty of chains 'n stuff. BIG, SPIKY BOOTS. SKINNY LEATHER PANTS. UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Have you ever tried snowboarding? No. What’s your favorite planet besides Earth? Saturn is dope. Would you ever be a coach for any sport? Nope. What color of eyes do you have? Blue. Do you like tacos? NOOOOOOOOO. White or red wine? Wine is gross. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Foxes. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? No younger than 21. Do you think suits are sexy? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I was never really a fan. Respected him immensely as a musician, I just didn't care much about his music. Turkey or ham for Thanksgiving? Ham. Turkey is always too dry and stringy. Do you look good in hats? I wouldn't know, I haven't worn one in forever. Never with short hair. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face's eyes? Colons. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Yes, and I should really have an answer for this, as architecture was a big part in Art History... Ummm Etruscan stands out, and of course Roman/Greek (even after the class I don't remember their differences well...). I love Middle Eastern architecture, too. What is one of your favorite words, in any language, and why? I just love the sound of "serendipity," as well as uhhhh "sakura" in Japanese and "kanji" in Chinese. I'm trying to think of a German one, as there certainly are some, but they're evading me right now. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? JESUS FUCK probably going to get Sara's brother from school, mother of all that is holy. But it might just feel like it because it was during the peak of my muscle atrophy in my legs. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? A good number. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? NO. There's not shit to do and it's not aesthetically pleasing at all. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Uhhhhh. A handful, I guess? Oh, uh, the suicide attempt to name one and probably the biggest. I took way too many of those pills to experience almost zero symptoms of an overdose; I did look up what "too many" was, because I wanted that. I'd say I was pretty fuckin lucky. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? Facebook. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? FANTASY!!! I think it allows more creativity and possibilities of something magically "making sense" because yeah, it's fantasy. Science fiction has more "realness" to it, more, obviously, scientific elements versus make-believe. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? OPOSSUMS!!!!!!!!! ARE!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're my second-favorite animals kdsja;lkdjaw. BUT ANYWAY, no, unless it's for rescue reasons. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favor or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? Oh I have no idea. Probably my mom? And no, definitely not. She hates asking for help. What are your thoughts on nihilism? I definitely get it, but it's not my personal outlook. Do you like the snow? More like love. What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? I don't know? I've never even had a real, steady job, so it's hard to really answer... I've only had bad experiences. It's kinda weird to me how you have to work your ass off (usually) to get a job you enjoy, as well as slave for some stupid green paper until the day you die just to stay alive and healthy. But at the same time, it offers a sense of fulfilment and is as well something productive and beneficial to the masses to do. Civilization would be very, very different and unadvanced if we were without them, so I guess it is a necessary thing. Humans gotta work together to keep where we're at. Do you believe in astrology? I've never actually elaborated why I don't believe in it so there ya go: not in the slightest. All it does is offer extremely broad characteristics that, in some light, almost anyone can relate to so they feel included in something. We naturally want to "belong" within something as social creatures, and astrology is an easy one with it being so vast. It gives equally indirect advice that can be applied to a multitude of situations, so people just mold what they read to fit their world. Don't base your goddamn life choices on the random positioning of shit in space. What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? Well, way way way too many OCs that I do indeed love a hell of a lot. If you have a Tumblr account, do you have any followers that you wish would not follow you? Well I'm sure there are bots. What kind of books do you generally enjoy to read? Fantasy stuff, mostly. But I also love novels with deep meaning, particularly about life in general. A good plot is mandatory. Does the quality of a video, on YouTube or a television, matter to you? I mean of course in some situations, like if I'm watching something educational/something to gain visual knowledge from. What is one situation that may cause you to become shy (if there is any)? Don't don't don't don't don't point out that my serious interests/things I massively love are "weird" like it's been years and I can still barely explain why my biggest tattoo is a tribute to some fuckface on the Internet lmao. When one is depressed, what can a friend do about it? Do you find that there is a good method to approach people in helping them combat depression? It is SO important to, first, ask them what they want. Do they want advice, an ear to just listen, just your presence, to be alone? As for combating depression, that greatly depends on the origin (if any) of theirs. There are so many factors in answering this question, but what I mentioned should, imo, always be the start. Do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? Is it a little bit of both? Definitely both. When I'm sad though, I'm almost definitely listening to somber music too. Do you find yourself to be generally a forgiving person? I'm too goddamn forgiving. Do you have an embarrassing memory that you now look back at and can laugh? If so and if you’re comfortable, could you share one here? Omg I have a Bible-length collection of those suckers. I'd prefer not to. What is one skill that you have worked hard to develop? Is there still room for improvement on that skill? Damn, anxiety-coping mechanisms and actually trusting them to help me through attacks. I used to be convinced that they were useless because it just wouldn't work and weren't immediately effective, but you've gooooooot to trust the process, friends. What do you consider to be your main passion(s) and how did they come about? Spreading awareness of the seriousness of mental health and the comfort of knowing there's hope. You can never stop pushing. My own experience with mental health struggles is definitely the deeeep roots of that. Who do you think influenced you the most in your life so far? Why? Jason changed my life in many ways. Trauma does that. He taught me a lot about the necessity of having faith in yourself to survive on your own, a shitload about love and how it's not some fairy tale, and that people change, even those you least expect to. What is something that you have overheard people talk about that really bothered you? I could name more than a few things about race stuff, living where I do. What do you normally say or how do you normally act in response to a compliment? I usually do this shy laugh and say "thank you" with too much enthusiasm. How many books do you own? Do you have more physical books than electronic books? I've no clue where a lot of my old ones are. I have no electronic ones; I strongly prefer to read a physical book. What are your thoughts on higher education? Is it really necessary? In your opinion, what changes can be made? Depending on your aspiring career, it can be necessary, but just as easily, it can be unnecessary. I know for a fucking fact it should not be NEARLY as expensive as it is. Maybe even free, but I have no idea what monetary concerns that could cause with whoever runs the place. Have you ever received a heartfelt compliment from a stranger? Probably at some point. How many people would you consider to be extremely close to you? "Extremely"... like three lmao. Maybe one more or so. When was the last time you had to speak to a crowd? How well did that go? When I was taking pictures at a wedding last. It went okay. How would you describe your general outlook towards humanity? We by no means deserve to be the apex predator and Earth would be a shitload better without us. How long do you think you could last without any contact with your significant other, best friend, or a person whom you consider would be the closest to you? I'll use my mom here, in which case idk. I don't particularly want to find out. I talk to her at LEAST by text daily. Every day now that she can't work/is always home with me. Have you ever realised that someone was lying, but it was too late to confront them? Nope. Eventually speaking up is how I lost her, but.

#survey #quiz #questions

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felicityb-reviews · 7 years ago

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Review Roundup - February 2018 Week 1

Hello, my loves!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and this is your Review Roundup for Week 1 of February 2018!!

So... Last Friday, I mentioned making some changes to my Review Roundup format. The reasoning being that as I've expanded my network of Korean music channels, It's become very clear to me that it's too difficult for me to write a substantial review of 25+ videos every week without each review mixing into the last. I've also come to realize that I can't include *every* song I find that happens to be in Korean, and that's fine!! Most songs are either ballads or OST ballads (which are even worse), and it's just not worth my time to flog those at you guys.

So, I'm gonna try to explain this to y'all as best as I can. It sounds more complicated than it is in practice, but I wanna give y'all an idea of what's going on.

I'm gonna present to you all the playlist of songs for the week. From there, you'll see a new segment called the Titacular Ten. Yes, I am aware "titacular" is not a word, but catch me not givin' a fuck in these streets. These guys are songs I enjoyed, but didn't like enough to put in the Fabulous Five. They'll be rated (*not* reviewed) according to my replayability scale.

And speaking of my rating scale, I've decided to add a new category called KoKoNotABop (because nothing brings me joy more than pissing off the stans of my favorite K-Pop group). This sits in between Conditional Replay and Trash Bomb with Shuffle Bait. I decided to add KoKoNotABop, because there wasn't really anything for those songs that weren't complete Trash Bombs, but fell short. I could enjoy these songs from time to time, but I wouldn't intentionally put them in a playlist, so I didn't want to call them Shuffle Bait. In short, I just wanted to expand the range of my extraness.

Moving on, you'll see the Honorable Mentions/Trash Bombs of the week after the Titacular Ten. The Honorable Mentions are tracks that didn't make it into the week's Fab Five, but I still wanted to speak on. And if you've seen my previous RRUs, you know what Trash Bombs are.

I haven't had to rated many songs as Trash Bombs, but that should be considered a small mercy. Y'all know how I get when I don't like a song

So!!

Let's get started!!

This Weeks' List

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The Titacular Ten

Saturn (Nevada51 featuring Gayoung Seo of Spy Girls)

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Rating - Heavy Rotation

Perfectly Perfect (MxM of BRANDNEWBOYS)

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Rating - Heavy Rotation

BLOCKED (Ash-B featuring Cherry Coke)

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Rating - Heavy Rotation

Ballad of Full Speed (Evolution of Sound)

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Rating - Conditional Rotation

Grayish (JUNA)

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Rating - Conditional Rotation

Run Away (Mona)

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Rating - Heavy Rotation

To the sky (CLC)

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Rating - Heavy Rotation

If (Day6)

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Rating - Heavy Rotation

Mi Amor (CoCoSori)

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Mi Amori Dance Practice

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Good Bye (Hong Jin Young)

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Rating - Heavy Rotation

Honorable Mentions

You Have a Crush On Me (No Brain)

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If you guys can believe it, this was the type of song I loved during my J-Pop days. Oh boy, does this take me back.

And yes, I do realize this song is literally a decade old. There are idols active in the industry that this song is older than. But I'm gonna need y'all to bring me some freshly prepared fucks to care.

The children deserve to know about No Brain!!

Crush On Me (sorry, that title is too long to be typing over and over) is a punk track that is fun, personified. Every time I queue up the song to play, I just wanna dance the night away~ have my own little party, dancing and singing along. And don't think that you can get away from this song unscathed, cause the hook (neon naege banhaesseo) will stick itself in your brain and torment you till you're singing along like a good little Baby Borgie.

No Brain is a band that I want every single NuGen K-Pop (2014/2015) fan to get into. Every single one of you. Cause while this band is hella talented (they've literally been in the game for twenty years), they don't write music to show it off. They write music because they fucking love it. And that's the best kind, sis. I could clock this song for a lot of things I'd clock a modern K-Pop song for, but I won't because this song is entirely too fun to be picked apart like a science experiment.

My main reason for including Crush On You was that I love how fun this song is, BUT!! I also wanted an excuse to include No Brain's collab stage with Lovelyz from the 2017 MBC Year End Song Festival.

Now *that* was a oollab stage, ladies.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

No Gravity (Yoon Mi Rae)

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Yoon MiRae is the OG Korean Female Rapper.

That's not my bias speaking (although it's definitely showing), I've never heard anyone speak ill of Mirae. NEVAH!! And I mean, why would they want to!?!?! She's magical. I literally can't say enough nice things about her.

I literally zone in on her and don't pay anyone else any mind when she's in a song. Whenever she's gracious enough to give us a solo, my wigs bow in reverence to her. I just love this woman so much. She can do no wrong in my book.

Gravity is a pre-release track from Mirae's upcoming Korean album. We have no word on what it's called or when it's dropping, but I already know it's amazing. Gravity is a midtempo rap ballad, and I usually find these cheesy af, but I really like Mirae's take on it. For those of you who've been YMR stans for a while, the vocals are arranged in Mirae's typical fashion - hard hitting rap verses, brackted in by Smoove™ vocals.

Yes, Mirae is the one who has your rap fave givin' Soulful Vocals™.

THANK!! HER!!

Gravity is just so nice, you guys. I don't know what it is about these Korean acts dropping really hopeful and healing tracks this year, but I want it to continue. These types of midtempos are usually reserved for Bad Days™, but I lowkey wanna listen to Gravity all the time. There's enough groove that it doesn't drag my mood down if I'm feelin' good, but at the same time, the uplifting vibe is great for everything kinda sucks.

Off Topic, but if y'all haven't heard Mirae's Black Happiness, I urge you!! It's S U C H a good song!! That's a song that's for the worst of days, sis.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Free Somebody (Luna of f(x) x HEDA)

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I really do not understand what the point of this release was. Can someone from SM DM me on Twitter and explain. Cause sis, this shit made no sense to me.

Firstly, congratulations to Ms HEDA are in order!! If you weren't aware (like me), everysing (a Korean karaoke company) and Genie Music (SM Entertainment's distributor) ran a contest called Battle Singer to select a new feature vocalist for an upcoming Station release. Why SM didn't give her her own Station track, I'm not sure, but I rather liked the way she sounded here. So, I can't be too mad.

Wha I *am* mad at, however, is why SM decided to have Luna and HEDA do karaoke on one of the unused sets of Younha's Parade video, and releasing that shit as a single. Y'all couldn't call in nobody to produce these vocals?!?!?! Every single one of y'all vocal producers were busy?!?!?!

K...

I'm just so over SMSTATION releases varying in quality and effort spent. Some weeks, SM puts in the time and effort to rock that shit out, but then we also get lazy as fuck all releases like these. And I get it, there was a contest attached to this and we don't know if SM is gonna pull Ms HEDA back in for a round 2. I'm hoping they do, but SM is fickle. I just wish this release was up to the standard as Luna and Amber's Lower. Some of y'all thought that song was dry af, but at least the video was dynamic.

Rating - KoKoNotABop

The Fabulous Five

5. Mystery (Jalhyejun)

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Mystery sounds like Lim Kim and Neon Bunny decided to team up for a song. They didn't, but if they ever did, I'd need at least three albums worth of material from it.

Mystery is a very cutesy synthrock song. It lowkey reminds me of something Puffy AmiYumi would do 2003/2004, but it mostly sounds like a bonus track on Neon Bunny's Seoulite. Not a bad thing; Puffy AmiYumi were literally my gateway into J-Pop fifteen years ago (I still listen to them), and Seoulite is one of the best Korean albums of 2011.

Mystery sounds like it belongs in a kids' show, and that's exactly why I like it. It's not anything crazy energetic, but it's really fun and every time I listen to it, it puts the biggest smile on my face. And because it isn't super in your face, you could also use it very peppy background music.

We love a versatile queen, sis.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

4. To Do List (Kim Hyorin)

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Okay, sis... I was a lil nervous when I heard the teasers for this. Too many of my faves been droppin' ballads as digital singles, and then disappearing into the ether. Hyorin is my girl, but I will *always* put the music first.

Fortunately,I had nothing to worry about; Hyorin did with To Do List what Henry couldn't do with Monster. Give me an engaging ballad.

Hyorin's To Do List is the same flavor of stripped back ballad as Henry's Monster; it's just Hyorin's sweet vocals layered over a clean electric guitar. It's just that she can emote with her voice and is an overall better vocalist.

I'm finding that I really enjoying this style of ballad. There's just an unexpected element to having a song be just electric guitar and vocals, ya know?!?! Like I mentioned above, I was very unsure about Hyorin making her solo debut under her own agency with a song like this, but I can see why she did it. Ballads do stupidly well in Korea, so Hyorin was catering to that market. BUT ALSO!! There's enough spunk here to keep the more adventurous crowd happy.

Of course, Hyorin could also sing me the dictionary, and I'd be like, "YASSS KWEEN!! BUILD THE CHILDREN'S VOCABULARY!! TAKE EVERY SINGLE OF MY WIGS, GODDESS!!".

So what do I know?!?!

Rating - Heavy Rotation

3. Unstoppable (The Night Of Seokyo x Minju)

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I normally don't include covers on this list, and I definitely wouldn't put them in the Fab Five. But y'all, this fucking cover. I really wish they covered the entire song, because it's fucking M A G I C A L

Which only makes sense, because the original is even more magical, but still...

Minju and the Night of Seokyo's Unstoppable is a cover of Lianne La Havas's 2015 song Unstoppable. I have no idea why I don't know this song or artist, because they're both magical. I already said Unstoppable was magical, but I'm gonna say it again!! This song is so good!! Can I live in the feeling this song creates?!?! I'd enjoy that a lot, sis. It's just so calm and healing, and I need that to be my energy for all of 2018.

And Ms Lianne, y'all. My wig toppled off my head the first 30 seconds of the song, because ma'am looks like a Black goddess. Can I be her when I grow up?!?!?! She looks so cool, and her music is just so nice. God, I love just Black women, you guys. They're so amazing, and they never get credit for always being ahead of the curve (as mentioned in my Nega Dola review). But I love Black women. I wouldn't be who I am today without Black women. None of us would. And I think it's time that we acknowledge that!!

So now that I've gotten that out of my system (we are unapologetically stanning Black women in 2018 and beyond, sis), let's discuss the Night of Seokyo and Minju's cover of Unstoppable. Absolutely beautiful. Breathtaking. I felt like I was floating. I usually don't care for covers, because 90% of them fall into two categories - a) indistinct from the original because they do everything the original does and b) complete and total trash because they did Too Much™ when reinterpretting it. But Minju and the Night of Seokyo strike the perfect balance - the rearrangement for piano and vocal does Just Enough™ to stand out on it's own without feeling like it's fucked up the vibe of the song.

I really should have just done a standalone review of this cover, since I *clearly* have so much so say on it, but it's just so good. A very big thank you to my girl sunnysidae who found the original version for Unstoppable for me. You're the best, sis!!

Rating - Heavy Rotation

2. Baby Funk (Yoo Naul of Brown Eyed Soul)

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Y'all.

Everything about this song n video is so Black!! I'm Shook™!!

I don't know Brown Eyed Soul that well, so I really thought Naul was the Black dude in the video. Thought BES had a whole ass (well, half ass) nigga in the group!!

Baby Funk's name is a little misleading - the only thing Funky about her is that guitar line (and the beatswitch that happens towards the end). But that's fine!! We love a good throwback to the Soul tracks of the '90s!!

I really don't know what to say, but tbh I really shouldn't have to - y'all *know* I L I V E for a good RnB/Soul track. And Baby Funk definitely delivers, babies!! I'm not gonna lie, the video did put me a off little, at first; I can't help but be suspect of the dynamic here. But you know, I'm just gonna receive this blessing, and keep it pushing. Naul made a love letter to Black culture with Baby Funk, and I Appreciate™.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

1. Blind (Planetarium Records)

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Trigger Warning - intense strobe lighting effects are used in the live showcase video

One of these days, I'm gonna need to learn these dudes' names. Especially since they refuse to stop terrorizing my wig collection with their group albums.

Sidenote - whoever decided to bait n switch my Black ass with them teasers, ya mama's a heaux. And I expect a full version of T.M.N.T with vocals on Case#3!! That shit is too good to just be an intro!!

*ahem*

When I first saw the teasers for Planetarium's CASE#1, I didn't think much of it. I thought they were an EDM label, number 1. And number 2, teasers didn't really give me anything to be excited about. But they blasted onto the scene with Blah, which had me eatin' my words a lil. I didn't include ha in my Fab Five for that week, but I was definitely paying attention to them Planetarium boys. And then came a live video of Glue (which I did put in my Fab Five), and now Blind.

Blind is a very clear 180 from the very fun, very tropical themed Blah. But catch these niggas drivin' off into the sunset with my wig, because I am B A L D T.

Blind is an intense synthpop track with a slight RnB tilt. Which is to be expect, because Planetarium is an RnB/Hip Hop label. But guys, this song is just S O G O O D. If every idol boy band in K-Pop *has* to do overly series tracks because They're Super Serious Boys Who Very Serious All The Time Seriously™, I'm gonna need them deliver tracks on this level.

Show me you have soul, not that you have abs. I've seen enough shirt lifts to last me a lifetime, kids.

On top of giving us a music video that's a continuation of Blah, the Planetarium boys have also provided us with a live showcase video that you can watch here. Be mindful that there is intense strobing effects during the chorus bits.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Alright loves, that's all I've got for you guys this week!! I hope the change in format isn't jarring, but I needed to do something to alleviate some of the work that goes into these lists. Cause pretty soon, I'm not gonna have the gobs and gobs of free time that I have now to do them, on top of my standalone reviews. My SHINee Feature Spotlight series has been halted, for now, but tune in on Friday at 12pm and 6pm EST for a special surprise. And be sure to tune in on Monday at 6pm EST for me full length review of the week.

Love, you guys!!

#Planetarium Records #Naul #The Night of Seokyo #Hyorin #Jalhyejun #Minju #Brown Eyed Soul #Review Roundup #review #Felicity B

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truthseekerastrology · 5 years ago

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A Mindful (R)evolution of Values: A Meditation on the 2020 Summer Solstice/Cancer New Moon Eclipse

Hey Truthseekers, Happy Juneteenth and Happy Summer Solstice!

Acclaimed American writer and social critic James Baldwin wrote, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

I’ll add to his sentiment the following: What a difference a year makes!

Do you agree?

If you do, can I get an amen?

Aaaaaaaaaaa-men.

Can we all also agree that 2020 ushered in conditions that are forcing us to face all of the things that we know need to be changed?

Can I get an amen?

Aaaaaaaaaaa-men.

Alright. So here we are again, shout out to those of us who live in the Northern Hemisphere. Today is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. Check out the chart of the moment below.

But this isn’t a garden variety Summer Solstice my friends. Today’s Summer Solstice quickly shifts into a Cancer New Moon solar eclipse! The chart of that moment follows.

In Philadelphia, the Summer Solstice is marked by the Sun moving into sensitive, family-oriented Cancer today at 5:44 pm EDT. The Cancer sun will be joined by the Cancer moon tomorrow in the early morning hours. Because the node is involved, we’re talking about a solar eclipse, where the moon will partially obscure the Sun.

In a lot of ways, we will be flying blind, but we have all of the energetic and humanistic connections we need to feel our way through.

Let’s begin by taking a look at the Sun. The last aspect it will make before changing signs is a conjunction to the transiting Gemini North Node. The Node represents the people, and in Gemini, we see the people being energized, vocal, connected and ready to come together to give life to the tremendous change needed in the world. Gemini also speaks to news, communication, data and information, and no one will disagree that it comes fast and furious and sometimes it’s hard to keep up. The thing that we can agree on is that all signposts are pointing toward some major seismic shifts.

However, not all of us are ready for change. If we look to the 2nd house of values and resources, Pluto in Capricorn, the chart ruler, is retrograde and blending energetically with Jupiter, which is also retrograde. Both of these planets are intercepted - representing energy hidden from our conscious awareness - in the 2nd house.

Capricorn represents power, and with Pluto and Jupiter aligned but retrograde, we’re talking about an effort among power brokers to try to recover and regain its footing. Power rarely concedes ground to that which it feels it can control, and right now we can surmise that the traditional power structure will do whatever it needs to, to maintain the status quo, to control the messaging and the resultant outcomes, and misrepresent the events on the ground, including wrongly attributing to peaceful protestors (Uranus in Taurus) looting and acts of violence by fringe elements (Saturn retrograde in Aquarius). Those in power will not be above playing dirty tricks.

The Gemini moon (the dispositor of the Cancer Sun and making a tense energetic aspect to the 4th house Mars in Pisces) stands at the cusp of the 8th house, showing us that before change can happen, we’ve got to draw lines in the sand, starting with our family members. However, we need to acknowledge Mercury retrograde in Cancer, which is in mutual reception with that Gemini moon. There are those among us, who are good at talking the talk, but aren’t quite ready to walk the walk. They have their own demons to face and exorcise. The good thing is that eventually, they will come around, but it’s going to take time.

There’s an African American saying that goes something like this: “All skinfolk ain't your kinfolk.” And if you turn this sentiment inside out, it suggests that now is the time to make and/or solidify new kinfolk connections that transcend blood and DNA. You’re gonna need them.

I want to strongly emphasize the following point: Everyone in our tribe is not our friend, knows what we know, shares our values, or cares about what we care about. It’s high time that this fact be openly acknowledged and definitively acted upon. The challenge becomes, how do we manage the separation, the defense of the lines drawn in the sand?

With Mars in the 4th house of family, ancestral roots and endings, familial bonds will be severely tested. There have been and will continue to be, heated conversations, disagreements and arguments between family members about what’s unfolding. Don’t be surprised if this year’s Summer Solstice marks the beginning of the eventual end of many long-standing family relationships.

The bottom line with this year’s Summer Solstice is this: We know what the deal is. Like James Baldwin wrote: “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

We have incontrovertible evidence of what’s broken. Denial and resistance is futile. We have no excuses left for why things must stay the same. Change has to happen on several fronts. Choose your issue, find your tribe and get involved. We need all hands on deck to effect meaningful, sustainable change. The new normal is here to stay.

The work over the next 6 months is about humbling ourselves to the idea that there is so much to learn about our neighbors and that we need to be okay with knowing that we don’t know what we thought we did. Being open to that learning will drive our individual and collective growth and evolution. This learning won’t come from traditional sources - it’s clear that much if not all of our institutions and customs are corrupt and fear-based and intentionally buried a great deal of history while engaging in a long-standing propaganda campaign designed to malign and marginalize wide swaths of our citizenry and deny them full and unfettered access to the American experience.

Listening and learning must happen in the context of forming and sustaining relationships with people outside of our primary tribes. We must be willing to not only consume, but embrace the stories and lived experiences of others with empathy and respect, while accepting that over the last few months, the common thing that we share - regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc. - is that we have all had to adapt to extraordinary circumstances (the public health and economic fallout from COVID-19) and focus on survival.

The progress we make along these fronts, over the next six months, will light the way as we head into a new cycle marked by the historic Jupiter/Saturn conjunction in Aquarius.

Are you ready to roll up your sleeves and do the work? I hope so. It will be well worth it. Stay safe and look out for your tribe.

Peace and blessings,

Tieshka

#june 20 2020 #truthseeker astrology #astrologers of tumblr #philadelphia astrologers #tarot readers of tumblr #tarot readers of philadelphia #philadelphia tarot readers #summer solstice 2020 #cancer new moon eclipse #solar eclipse #change is inevitable #change is constant #happy summer solstice #happy juneteenth #astrological insights #astrological transits #lunations #aries point

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ms-m-astrologer · 8 years ago

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Transiting Mars enters Virgo

September 5 - October 22, 2017

Here is Mars in a crisp, spiffy uniform, with every button precisely buttoned, every epaulet perfectly aligned on the shoulders, and every weapon polished to gleaming. Hell, the bullets probably glisten. This is kind of a good thing for a parade, but when it comes down to actual battle? Though I suppose being deliberately untidy, or deliberately causing a Virgo to become untidy, is going to get the perpetrator deliberately and precisely eviscerated.

Mars transits bring us opportunities “to take action and strive for what we want.” More specifically, we’re tasked with being brave - to intentionally use our will despite our fears. If we falter, we turn into bullies, pursuing easy targets (including ourselves), and/or we become accident-prone due to clamping down on our anger over our thwarted desires. When transiting Mars is stirring up trouble in our charts, we’re also going to be more physically active than usual.

In Virgo, Mars is first and foremost going to want a plan. This can be tricky. If Mars gets too caught up in elaborate details, he can get hopelessly entangled and bogged down. And, given Mars’ penchant for extremes, the molehills turn into the Himalayas, and the pitfalls into the Marianas Trench. We need to be able to trust in our ability to “handle” life as it happens to us, and for some people Mars going through Virgo will provide this type of challenge.

Mars has some connection with our overall health and physical well-being. And you know what that means in Virgo: bran muffins and sit-ups. We might find ourselves tinkering with the diet/exercise routine (perhaps even going so far as to implement one?) and worrying over whether or not we’re adequately rested. Remember the goal is to develop an understanding of how an overall state of good health, based on moderation and common sense, helps us achieve our goals.

Our concept of masculinity edges away from the showy, dramatic Leonine “knight in shining armor.” I mean, look at those guys down there in the next paragraph - admittedly, my Mars is in Aries, but it seems to me even the notorious chest-thumpers down there (Papa, Henry VIII) worried about it too much. Here, one’s masculine attractions are rated according to one’s general usefulness and competence. (Snarkiness is also valued.)

The upcoming aspects are about evenly balanced between “easy” and “difficult.” If we keep our eyes on the bigger picture, we can get through any negativity. Dates given are when the aspect is exact - there are a few days on either side for the energy to build, and then fade.

Celebrities with Mars in Virgo: Barack Obama, Diana Princess of Wales, Napoleon I, Ariana Grande, Helena Blavatsky, Ben Affleck, Will Smith, Benedict Cumberbatch, George Bush (43), Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, RDJ, Matt Damon, Natalie Dessay, Hugh Jackman, Friedrich Nietzsche, George Michael, Bruno Mars, Yoko Ono, Joan of Arc, Gordon Ramsay, Ernest Hemingway, Kevin Spacey, Eddie Vedder, Henry VIII of England

Sunday, September 10, Juno/Capricorn trine Mars/Virgo, 3:23

Bodes very nicely for a wedding, this, with (the day before) a cooperative Moon/Taurus turning it into a grand trine for a couple of hours. We’re willing to work hard with our partner(s) on our relationships. Be careful to work just as hard on the equality piece; Virgo Mars can be too willing to subordinate itself and let Juno take all the responsibility.

Planets/Points affected lie between 2:23 and 4:23 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Saturday, September 16, Mercury/Virgo conjunct Mars/Virgo, 7:13

Third of three - the first was back in late June, in Cancer, while the second was just a couple of weeks ago, in Leo. If we’ve worked hard, we can synthesize (Virgo) our thoughts and actions without sacrificing either our emotions or our autonomy. We’re also rather more jumpy under this influence, and more prone to ignore signs of fatigue and burnout. Nervous mannerisms will be very apparent, unless we meditate and relax.

Planets/Points affected lie between 6:13 and 8:13 of the signs Taurus, Gemini*, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius*, Capricorn, and Pisces*.

Sunday, September 24, Neptune Rx/Pisces opposite Mars/Virgo, 12:19; Uranus Rx/Aries (27:29) sesquare Mars/Virgo (12:29)

We feel unprepared and inadequate. There are so many valid reasons - “never in a million years did I ever think (fill in the blank) would happen” - what we need to do in response is to ensure that in the future we have REASONS and not EXCUSES. Whether this energy manifests for you as a minor inconvenience, or as a prelude to further aggravation, figure out ways to be more effective in your future responses....

Planets/Points affected lie between 11:19 and 13:29 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 26:19 and 28:29 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*.

Tuesday, September 26, Pallas Rx/Taurus trine Mars/Virgo, 13:25

On the heels of Mars’ entanglement with the Uranus/Neptune mess, this could well be the “figure out ways to be more effective” piece. Pallas herself is retrograde, and reconsidering the best strategies to help Mars become more efficient. It may not be an instant process, mind you. Mars-Pallas cycles take a few years to complete, and this one started only in January 2017.

Planets/Points affected lie between 12:25 and 14:25 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Sunday, October 1, Pluto/Capricorn trine Mars/Virgo, 16:51

Powerful in an earthly, worldly sense, this also gives tremendous strength and a shrewd practicality. We have long-term goals, and we know exactly how to get there. We also have a better sense of how our particular skill sets “fit” into the wider world. The only problem is that this is neither an imaginative nor a cuddly aspect. Lighten up.

Planets/Points affected lie between 15:51 and 17:51 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Thursday, October 5, Venus/Virgo conjunct Mars/Virgo, 19:13

These two were most recently conjunct in November 2015, also in Virgo - and the next one is in Virgo, too, in August 2019. How annoying! The Cosmos is mocking us! Relationships are a lot of work, and as a species we do need to temper and adjust the ways we relate to one another. Ensuring that we ourselves are worthy of relationships, that we are willing to put in the work required, and that our sexuality is above all healthy, will be on the agenda for some time.

Planets/Points affected lie between 18:13 and 20:13 of the signs Taurus, Gemini*, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius*, Capricorn, and Pisces*.

Wednesday, October 11, Saturn/Sagittarius square Mars/Virgo, 22:55

In August 2016, Mars and Saturn were conjunct in Sagittarius, kicking off an approximately 20-month cycle of devastating ideological warfare. This is the “turning away from” square, arriving as the cycle concludes, and with Mars in Virgo it isn’t difficult to imagine why we’d turn away from what we started last year. It’s too hard; it’s hopeless; it’s ineffective; it isn’t sustainable or healthy. It’s critical to keep our faith in ourselves and in each other. The day before this aspect is exact, the Moon/Gemini may well “trigger” its manifestation for us as individuals.

Planets/Points affected lie between 21:55 and 23:55 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 6:55 and 8:55 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

Sunday, October 15, Chiron Rx/Pisces opposite Mars/Virgo, 25:25

No matter what we managed to accomplish over the past weeks, we don’t feel that it was enough. We’re frustrated with our ineffective futility. The problem is that no matter how powerful or efficient we are, even no matter how lucky we are, we can’t get everything done well by ourselves. What I hope for with this is the mass realization that everybody needs a good support group, or at least a partner in crime - which would make a nice intention for the upcoming ingress of Mars into Libra.

Planets/Points affected lie between 24:25 and 26:25 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 9:25 and 11:25 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

#Astrology #Transiting Mars enters Virgo #Ms M astrologer

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/june-2019-energy-reportself-unification/

June 2019 Energy Report~Self Unification

By Jennifer Hoffman

Well we made it through May and it was a tough month. Did you find out anything about what holds you back in your life? Did you learn anything about your limitations, fears, and who your real friends are? Did you get a surprisingly negative response from someone when you did something you thought they would appreciate or like? If May was chaotic it is because dis-integration of our 3D reality creates chaos, which is required so we can see the different aspects of our reality and how they lack congruence, flow and harmony. Once we see the dis-harmony we can assess what is required to allow congruence to enter our lives. June’s theme is ‘human, meet divine’ and what we dis-integrated in May can be put together in new ways that express our divinity in our humanity to create congruence, harmony, flow, and allow us to become 360 as a fully integrated blend of divine human.

All of our old systems are under review now and we have the opportunity (if we choose it) to unite with our divinity which is a function of embodying our 360 degree wholeness, not holiness. This is an opportunity to get out of healing cycles and into the wholeness of our energy. We aren’t used to this though, our focus has been on healing and fixing what we think is broken. At some point we need to assess the repairs we have made and practice seeing ourselves as whole. Then we move into the next step, which is congruence.

June is traditionally the marriage month but consider what marriage means, not the wedding ceremony, but the unity which marriage represents. Move your thinking about marriage from two people who love each other and want to unite into a couple to your relationship with your divine self. Both aspects, human and divine, are required for wholeness and one is not greater than the other. Just as a car is useless without gasoline or a key, our humanity works best when it is intentionally and consciously combined with our divinity. This is the theme for June.

And we need to expand that theme of unity and marriage a little more because while we tend to think of unity and connection with others, we forget that our first relationship is with ourselves. It is our natural tendency to put our efforts towards uniting with others and creating harmony and flow with them but that effort has to begin with us. We cannot become a fulfilled 360 degree human when most of our effort, time and energy is spent trying to get along with others, to make them happy, and to get their validation and approval. Our unity effort must be focused on unifying our own energy field, bringing our scattered aspects back to our center, to heal our soul wounds and to integrate our own divine trinity of body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

This is how we meet our divinity, when we are healed and whole. We cannot find someone else to help us do that and no relationship is going to bring us to wholeness. In fact, when we seek out relationships from our dis-unity, we end up with challenging, incomplete relationships that do not work because we must be healed and whole within ourselves first, then we can partner with others who meet us at our healed and whole level to create 360 degree congruent and harmonious relationships.

We have some pretty potent aspects that are going to help us do that too, including July’s total solar eclipse of July 2 and the lunar eclipse of July 17. They activate the Saturn/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn and the nodes in Capricorn/Cancer. We are being pushed, individually and collectively, towards a rebalancing of the 3D paradigm of domination, control over, competition, and polarity into its 5D counterparts of community, connection, collaboration, and multi-dimensional duality. If you see every change in your life as moving you into the 5D aspects, you’ll understand why everything is under scrutiny now.

June’s new moon in Gemini of the 3rd opens the July eclipse window and its ruler, Mercury, is powerfully highlighting it from its position towards the end of Gemini. At this new moon we have 5 planets in their own signs, which makes their influence far more congruent with the energy of the sign they are in. Think of an orchestra playing with all of the instruments in tune. Congruence, the fit and flow of energy in harmony, has been an ongoing theme since I first introduced the concept of ‘becoming a 360 degree human’ in 2013. We are moving towards that objective with each step towards our 3D/5D integration.

June’s full moon of the 17th is in Sagittarius and highlights Jupiter. Now we have the two karma bookends, Gemini and Sagittarius, Mercury and Jupiter, highlighted. Isn’t releasing karma part of our individual and collective path since we began this lifetime, which is something I have been writing about since 2003. Look for some serious karmic revelations, release, and reconsiderations around this full moon as Mars conjuncts Mercury at 20 Cancer and they both square the ongoing Pluto/Saturn conjunction. Get ready to see some fireworks and it isn’t even the 4th of July yet.

We have the Solstice on June 21 which is also the day Mercury goes into shadow retrograde at 24 Cancer, adding more energy to the big Cancer/Capricorn action that will dominate the next 6 months. If it feels like your world is falling apart, think of it as your spirit asking you to release everything that is at a lower vibration than your true frequency as a divine being. What relationships hold you back? What fears limit your potential? What level of healing have you already achieved and it is time for you to acknowledge that you are finished?

Mars is in the sign of Cancer all month, a sign it is not very happy in but it’s going to oppose Saturn, Pluto, and the North Node most of the month, further amping up the energy. Think of Mars’ fire being put out by Cancer’s watery energy (Cancer rules the Moon), asking us to temper our desire for action with respect for and acknowledgement of our feelings. Sometimes our desire for action is also a desire for validation, vindication, or the things we believe others ‘owe’ us for the time, energy, and effort we put into our healing efforts on their behalf, whether we are actively trying to heal them or holding space and energy for their healing?

Are we treading water while we’re waiting for them to be ready or are we swimming strongly in the bright sea of our own potential? This can be one of those tough situations where we realize we have been asking for permission to move forward instead of exercising our own free will and engaging with our potential.

We have strong activity with all of the outer planet retrogrades by August, then they start going direct in September to prepare for the January 2020 Capricorn action. Remember that everything from now until January is preparing us for that big event which is a rebalancing, restructuring, and repurposing of the 3D energy which has dominated earth and humanity for centuries. The last time we had this aspect was in the year 1516 and even then we didn’t have the nodes in Cancer/Capricorn participating in the action. It is an important milestone in our spiritual evolution.

And let’s not forget, with all of this chaos and dis-integration, that joy is our purpose so remember to take the time to create joy in your life, set that as your intention, be confident and clear about what you want in your life with your strong energy boundaries and remember to breathe as it helps you stay grounded and keeps your energy balanced and flowing. Have a wonderful month.

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disc-golf · 7 years ago

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Startup Stories: Revolutionizing Driving AI with Netradyne

David Julian has quite the resume. Once an engineer at NASA—more specifically, a communication systems engineer—and signal specialist in the mobile phone division at Qualcomm, he now serves as the enthusiastic CTO of San Diego startup Netradyne. We were curious how Julian has navigated the tech startup world, so spent an hour parsing his inspiration, his strategy, and his vision for new technologies—most notably artificial intelligence (AI). He also offers budding tech entrepreneurs some sage advice as they launch in the sea of 2018 tech innovation.

Your personal experience in technology is deep, and for most people, too technical to understand fully. Can you boil down your resume into a digestible summary?

In short, I create algorithms to solve hard problems—mostly by capturing raw signals and processing them into sophisticated output.

As a graduate student, I worked in the jet propulsion labs at NASA, an area primarily responsible for deep-space, unmanned missions. I also worked on the Galileo and Cassini missions to Jupiter and Saturn—mostly the communications of data sent from NASA stations back to earth.

From there, I got my PhD in information theory from Stanford. That discipline tentacled out into a lot of different fields, underscored by how you can collect information and use it for best possible outcomes. As a result, I’ve worked in video compression, communication, deep learning, and AI.

After getting my PhD, I went to work at Qualcomm, where I was involved in the mobile phone revolution. We were working on building sophisticated functions “under the hood” that made things simpler for the end user. It was all about creating a powerful, seamless experience.

It was at Qualcomm that you started considering new applications of AI and signal processing, right?

Yes. During my last years at Qualcomm, I spent a lot of time on deep-learning, looking at ways to automate the cell phone experience. But my colleagues and I also noticed that cameras were becoming ubiquitous and cheap—while also very powerful. So we asked ourselves how we could combine deep learning with powerful, accessible cameras.

That really spells out the genesis of Netradyne. What was the leap from that early ideation to actual problem-solving and company-building?

When we first started out, we were looking at a number of ways to combine AI and camera technology. We looked at drones for roof inspections, for example, and the possibilities of the same technologies at use in autonomous driving. But we felt that real use cases for cameras and AI in autonomous driving were probably 10-20 years out and would progress slowly. What we saw instead was that commercial driver safety was an area that really needed some immediate attention. The existing approaches were very manual—people in a command or call center watching videos recorded using rudimentary hard-stop and hard-start triggers. It was tedious and time-consuming, and productivity gains were clearly needed.

David Julian, CTO of Netradyne

The platform you created to solve that problem is called Driveri. How does it differ from the recording processes that was relatively standard in commercial driving fleets?

When we first started talking to fleet managers, it was clear that they were only capturing a few minutes here and there. We wanted to capture continuous video—both as a way to document safety issues more effectively, and to recognize drivers for good performance.

What did your competition look like at launch?

Our competition consisted of two main companies—the ones who had created the technology around hard-start and hard-stop recording. But we didn’t see them as competition as much as we did a boon for Netradyne. They educated the industry about what cameras could do for commercial driving, which primed the market for our entry in 2015.

By the time we entered the market, many fleets realized they needed a better recording solution. While most managers were primarily interested in safety, we saw Driveri as a way to improve their retention as well. Not many people know this, but commercial fleets suffer from an 87% turnover rate so retention of good drivers is critical. With continuous recording, Driveri gave fleet managers the opportunity to reward high-performing safe drivers and keep them in the fleet.

All of this awareness was possible because of the two companies that came before us.

Let’s talk more about the AI component of Driveri. What exactly does this technology do, utilizing camera hardware?

First of all, let me say that AI is very broad. It encompasses both what we’re seeing in technology today and a lot of functionality that’s aspirational. We’re using it primarily for signal processing—taking raw signals, in our case video, and outputting processes that follow from an interpretation of those raw signals.

The AI—or algorithm—we’ve created is able to capture and recognize things like lanes, painted lines, car movement, environmental obstacles, and other impactful elements in a driver’s surroundings. But it can also tell when a driver is distracted or drowsy. That information can then be passed on to a command center where managers can take action.

What’s even more incredible is that the continuous recording allows the AI to recognize entire contexts for traffic decisions. For instance, a quick video that captures a commercial truck tailgating is likely to get a driver dinged for poor driving. But what a few minutes of video doesn’t capture is the car that cutoff that truck right before recording began—an indication that the driver was not at fault, but had to compensate in the moment for someone’s else’s bad driving decision.

You’ve used the term “deep learning” before as well. What does that mean?

Deep learning is akin to a brain’s neural network. It allows a platform, like Driveri, to improve its understanding of signals to a point that surpasses even human analysis. For example, standard programming could “teach” a platform to recognize one kind of car in one specific setting. But what about the effects of changing light or weather? Deep learning allows a platform to recognize a defined object even with hundreds of variables.

That’s impressive, but how do you “teach” a platform to do that?

You put a lot of images or video into the platform, after programming in a definition for the object you want it to identify. Then, you ask it to tell you which of the images or video scenes include that object. Initially, it will be correct maybe 15% or 20% of the time. But as you correct it, it learns to recognize the object in a variety of contexts.

One of the reasons we’re able to do this is because of the availability of data. There’s a lot of video from commercial fleets already available, and it’s growing every day. The more data we get, the smarter our algorithm becomes. Plus, it’s connected constantly to the cloud via cellular networks, so it’s continuously learning.

How do you determine a baseline for recognition before rolling a feature out to a fleet?

It depends. In many cases, we get to about 90-95% precision before we make new functionality live for our customers. Then, we ask for their feedback as they use it in their fleets. Eventually, we get that precision up to 99% or more—far better than any human being could do.

What about concerns around cybersecurity and data sharing?

We take that very seriously. All of our devices securely communicate with the cloud to ensure data is safe.

We have had to address privacy issues with our inward-facing cameras, however. In addition to cameras that record traffic and road conditions, Driveri also leverages internal cameras to watch drivers. But we make the collected video data as anonymous as possible, and we do have auto shut-off features for long-haul drivers who sleep in their cabs.

I spoke with leadership guru Kevin Kruse a while ago, and asked what challenges we would be facing in American business over the next 10 years. He called out AI as a particularly troubling development—primarily because it threatened to make human workers superfluous. Can you speak to that?

There will be implications along those lines. But in my mind, what we’re creating is AI functionality that automates mundane, tedious tasks that people don’t want to do—or can’t do as effectively as a platform that doesn’t get tired or distracted.

It’s important to note that Netradyne is absolutely pro-driver. Our technology is designed to give them the capabilities to improve their safety and make the commercial driver environment more comfortable and effective.

You’ve used the term “Industrial Internet of Things (IIoT)” in your description of Driveri. People are generally familiar with IoT in the form of home-linked speakers and thermostats and such, but how is IIoT playing out right now? Where can we see evidence of this?

There are a ton of industrial applications—temperature sensors and manufacturing sensors; robots on assembly lines; and parking meters are all examples of this kind of technology at play.

I have noticed that IoT suffers from competition. Companies like Google and Apple want to control your house entirely, so their technologies are intentionally incompatible; the hope is that you buy all Apple or all Google products to complete your IoT environment. Does IIoT suffer from the same pitfalls?

With industrial scale, there’s more planned deployment, so there’s more collaboration. We want to create a completely curated, seamless experience. Companies involved in IIoT know that, and are therefore more willing to collaborate on a solution for a customer.

Alright, you promised us some tips for tech and AI startups, so let’s dig into those. What wisdom would you offer 2018 tech entrepreneurs?

1. Get A-team players. All of our team members came to the table with a lot of experience and they fit together well—in all of the areas that are central to Netradyne’s mission. Without them, our work would not be possible. 2. Know the problem before you create a solution. Rather than jumping into creating right away, we talked to commercial fleets about the problems they were facing. There was no sense building a solution when we didn’t know what it should do. Many eager tech startups fall into the innovation trap—building a product first and forcing it into a solution. That never works. 3. As you experiment and test, be sure to be pragmatic in materials use. We initially got off-the-shelf components for solution-testing early on. It made it cost-effective and easy to experiment while we were still learning what worked and what didn’t. 4. Use your investment dollars wisely, especially when hiring your team. Netradyne hired a team that was split between the U.S. and India, which was less expensive than hiring a completely U.S.-based team. We also do a lot of multitasking; everyone here wears multiple hats. There’s an added benefit to this, too; everyone has a much wider view of company strategy and direction, instead of being tunnel-focused on a single problem. 5. Distribute information carefully, consistently, and clearly to the entire company. Not only do we have frequent meetings to discuss projects, but we are very clear about who should be involved in which phases of development. That ensures that the right people—and ONLY the right people—are involved in key decisions. 6. Automate wherever possible. For example, instead of paying five people to handle our billing, we invested in an enterprise level of SalesForce, which handles all of our order management, invoicing, and so on. This is shared across several dashboards (again, distributing information clearly) so that everyone who needs to know the status of our sales and finances does. 7. Invest in (good) PR. Especially in the tech world, it’s very easy for those on the front line to confuse the public—and potential customers—with too much jargon. Hire trusted PR teams to build lasting relationships in the right industries, especially where relationships and trust are key to closing sales. 8. Get the customer involved. There’s no better way to create an advocate for your brand, product, or platform than to give a customer the opportunity to weigh in on development and execution. Get their fingerprints on your work and they will not only be educated about how you develop, but will be more excited about your brand. Without a doubt, they will become willing advocates and spread the word about what you’re doing. 9. Intellectual property is important, so make sure it’s protected. File patents quickly, and make sure contracts with outside sources (i.e. tech collaborators) are set so you can iterate quickly. 10. Be patient. You’re going to trip and stumble. Celebrate the wins and learn from the losses. As quickly as tech is moving these days, it’s important to take your time and do things right. Keep your focus on what you want to improve and see value from the customer’s perspective. That’s the only way to build a product or a platform that will have lasting impact. 11. Be intentional about building company culture. This goes for any company, but tech startups are not all about the product. The people are what make your company successful. At Netradyne, we tried to keep this mind from the very first day. We intentionally created an open office environment to encourage collaboration; we implement fun days for relaxation and team interaction; and we promote continuing education by encouraging team members to attend conferences and share research in weekly roundtables.

Last, but certainly not least: What are you most proud of so far in your work at Netradyne?

I think there several things. Our mission to focus on the positive aspects of commercial driving has been rewarding. I’m happy to be serving that underserved population, especially since the retention issue is so big.

Also, I’m proud of the speed at which we’ve actually put together a world-class solution that spans different technologies, from AI to our cameras and cloud structure. It’s amazing how much our team has done in such a short time to create visible change.

For more information about the impactful work of Netradyne, visit netradyne.com.

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The post Startup Stories: Revolutionizing Driving AI with Netradyne appeared first on Early To Rise.

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holy-mountaineering · 6 years ago

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This is @draugadottir ‘s

Thank you, as always, for donating!

You know the drill. I’ll go down the Tree from the top and then give a summary/synopsis of the spread as a whole at the end.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have the Ace of Disks, the root power of Earth or the material. This is the foundation which all your solid structures are and will be built on. This is the very root of your real world/material life situation. While this doesn’t mean you must tear everything down or that there is nothing in your material world that you've built, it does mean you must look at the source from which you've built your material and everyday world. If you have no foundation you can have no structure. If you have a shoddy foundation, you'll have a shoddy structure. Look to what things were like where you are before you began building. Is there sand beneath you? Are you in a swamp, building castles of stone that will bind to the mud and be pulled down much sooner than later? Did you account for the raise in elevation when you laid your foundation? Look down to the base of what you've made and what you've made it upon. This is an engineering job, you’ll need tools to measure and level everything out. The occult might not be the best place to find these tools and it is possible that you have issue much more base than you're willing to cop to. There are many tools you can use to look at your foundation provided in psychology and meditation from other sources. The Universe throws us extreme situations and more often than not, this is the only way people see their basest of instincts and behaviors really act out. If you can, take a look at what connects you and what you’re building to the Earth before an earthquake, tornado, volcano, or other act of G-D forces you to pray everything was fine. Check the strength of your foundations before the strength of your foundations are checked. Get down to the base fundamentals of what is going on in your material (things, money, living situation, literal stuff) and build from the ground up if you must.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of your hometown is the 4 of Cups, Luxury. This is “squaring up” emotionally and creating a greater emotional balance. Lvna the Moon absorbs the light of Sol the sun and reflects it back to Earth, but only enough emotionally to help you stay stable and protected (Cancer the crab with an exoskeleton to protect it’s soft inside parts). Don’t get too comfy though, don’t mistake squaring up (getting correct) with being a scared square.

In Binah, which is ruled by Saturn and for the sake of this reading we will call the first stop on your roadtrip. You haven’t really arrived anywhere but you’re stopping and getting a chance to repack your car in a more efficient way. Sitting in Binah is IV The Emperor, Tzaddi, Aries. The Emperor is the activating consort of III The Empress. He is King of Spring, the sign of Aries being his energy. He has the energy of the Sun, who in spring gets closer to the Earth and revitalizes the plant growth. The Emperor is formulated, active energy that causes force and growth. This is new growth brought about like the spring that Aries heralds. Like the season of Spring, this card is activating the the potential growth of the Earth, that is to say, the time is right to spring forth and grow as you can, with what you have. Get formulated and active. Put things in their place or notice the NATURAL orbits of things. What works is that which grows from your energy.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is the Princess of Cups, the earthy part of Water. We could consider this the substance in water or water hitting substance head on. This is the idea of the canyon wall being ground down over the millennia by moving water. The nutrients and minerals in the earth are transported down river to the fertile delta. This is the natural, “following your feelings” within your daily life. Try not to fool yourself, follow your intuition, not just passing whims. Feel, don’t necessarily react immediately. Go with what you feel and intuit, let yourself go with the flow, if you will. Allow your situation to move with your emotions and be patient with your progress.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is Queen of Cups, the watery part of Water, total emotion and intuition. This Queen looks through her reflective eyes at the ripples on a pond at the reflection of the moon which reflects the Sun. She isn’t so much interested in looking directly at a thing as she is looking at the effects. The tides being ruled by the Moon was discovered by observation of the correlation of movements of both Lvna and the comings and going of the tides. Her animal is the Ibis, who on one leg intently stares at the surface of the water. This was perceived as meditation and contemplation by the wise people of Khemet and they attributed the ibis to Djehudi or Thoth the wisest of their pantheon. But like ibis you have to act when the fish swims by or you’ll starve. Do not look directly at a problem or situation you feel strongly about. Look for effects and causation not the point of impact.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is 2 of Cups, Love. Like all the 2s the deuces of Water is building towards completion. This is the ever becomingness of love. Love never dies it is simply transformed like any other energy. Love isn’t a competition or something you can measure. You never stop loving someone/thing because you have “reached maximum love levels”, shake hands and walk away from it. There is no end-game to love and that’s why it’s scary and makes people act like idiots sometimes. Astrologically, Venus in Cancer can be interpreted as nurturing your emotional growth. Build on what you’re feeling and don’t try to think about anything too concretely emotionally or intuitively. This is a building process so try not to focus on the final outcome but work with what you have now.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is the 6 of Cups, Pleasure. For reasons I call this the plumbing card. The water is not flowing freely as though it is pouring, it has been pumped through a series of tubes intricately woven together to fill the cups placed in the shape of a hexagram. Emotion and connectedness to life are intentionally being directed by unseen but invited forces. Someone who wasn’t looking closely could see nothing but knots and chaos and even wonder how the damn thing worked in the first place. Those people are squares and should be avoided at all costs. Do what gives you pleasure that also instills clarity. Center on the best you can feel even if onlookers can’t appreciate what you’re doing connoisseurs (and you) will dig it.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the Ace of Swords, the root power of Air or the mind. This is the sword of the Magus and the magician’s Sword is the physical representation of our mind and it’s ability in its rawest state of being. Thelema is inscribed on the blade of the Sword in Greek because the Magus uses their mind to the end of their True Will. The Crown of light at the tip of the Sword is the illuminated mind, because in its singleness and sharpness it is the foundation of the mind, intellect, and communication powers. Use your mind for what you need it to do. Remember that a sword is useless at best and dangerous at worst when it isn’t handled correctly. You can cut down an army with a sword, but you can also cut your whole-ass leg or arm off too with one too. Knowledge is dangerous and scary, be prepared.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the Ace of Cups, the root powers of water which is emotion, connectedness to living things, and intuition. This is the geyser of the aspects of water exploding into existence. The Ace of Cups can be like the yearly floods on the Nile was to ancient Egyptian/Kemetic people that once a year had their fields simultaneously wiped out and fertilized. There is great danger in unbound Love, it tends to get consuming and people fear being consumed. There is a secret meaning to the joining of two to make none, but this isn’t really the place for that. The uncontrolled waterfall of feeling, it can flow and be a clearing force or flood. If you’re not prepared for such water, you might get washed away, if you are it might wash away the cobwebs and your stagnancy.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the 9 of Swords, Cruelty (to self, mostly). Like the other 9s this is a massive building up, in this case of Air, mind, thinking, communicating. This is beating yourself up about a decision that must be made. Astrologically, Mars in Gemini relates to action being thwarted because of a split mind on a matter. You are mentally at a fork in the road and you need to make a choice one way or another.

You’re building up a lot of ideas but you need to decide which way you want to go or it’s going to keep tearing you up mentally. There is a lot of force and mass here, move it.

Soooooooooooooo, let’s go through this progression, real quick at first.

Going to the root of Who You Are in this incarnation, nurturing that, so that you can rule properly over your Kingdom of You. Go with the Flow of You. You are Feeling Pulled a certain way for a Certain reason, follow that and trust it more than your logical Because brain wants. Speaking of that, do not allow that Because brain narrow your focus. Even in your mundane relations, look deeper and not to traumas, but at the effects. Always, like ya do, act from Love, it is what is animating you and all this mess.

You are going to grow how you want to grow, I think you’ve learned that to be true by now. You have to let that fucking logical brain go for a while so you can feel your way through this stuff your mind can’t properly deal with. And again, speaking of the mind, in order to communicate you’re basically going to have to learn a new language, your native language. And in your relations, there will be a flood, raised waters, cleansing and flushing, what remains, is what will go to seed and grow.

Not making a choice is making a choice. It is the worst of the three options you have. Pick a better one.

There it is, terrible bedside manner and all!

I’m around if you have any questions or anything, otherwise have a good night!

#tarot card readings #divination #cartomancy #occult #magick #thelema

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