#i did not get my daily dose of cas

[ninii-winchester]

Behind Closed Doors (Part 1)

Pairing : Boss!Dean Winchester X Assistant!Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: fluff, not proofread, and tbh I don’t even know where this is going.

A/n: new series (hopefully) First time writing an AU. Don’t let this flop please🙏🏻

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Dean Winchester is the CEO of Winchester Co. for the past four years. He’s the oldest son of John Winchester, the founder and owner of Winchester Co., a real estate business. His office corner suite on the top of the floor in the building with floor-to-ceiling windows offering a panoramic view of the city skyline. The décor is modern yet understated, featuring a large mahogany desk, plush leather chairs, and abstract art on the walls. Behind the desk is a sleek bookshelf lined with awards, framed contracts. A smart wall panel controls lighting, climate, and the room’s privacy settings.

On the top floor other than the CEO’s office is his personal assistant’s work space. It’s a sleek, efficient area with a streamlined desk equipped with multiple monitors for scheduling, managing calls, and overseeing the flow of appointments. The space is minimalist, with soft lighting and ergonomic seating, offering both a professional and welcoming atmosphere for visitors waiting to meet the CEO

“Good morning, Mr. Winchester.” Y/n said entering his office. Dean looked up from his computer and glanced at the woman standing in the doorway with a styrofoam cup in her hands. “Got you your coffee.” She said holding it up. The man nodded and she entered the room completely, moving to hand him his daily dose of caffeine, which has been the routine for the past four years.

Y/n reached his side and he took the cup from her hands gracefully and placed it onto the table before pulling her down onto his lap. Y/n gasped at the sudden pull and he grinned up at her.

“Good morning baby.” Dean leaned up to place a soft kiss to her lips. “You’re late.” He commented resting his hands on her hips.

“Sorry boss, my boyfriend is a bit clingy in the morning.” She replied with a mocking smile. “Acts like a baby doesn’t let me leave when I spend the night.” She added with a pout. Dean barked out a loud laugh and it was moments like these that he was thankful for having the whole floor to himself.

“Acts like a baby, you say?” Dean feigned curiosity. “Well tell him you’re my mine and I need you here on time.” Dean mock reprimanded her. Y/n rolled her eyes at his teasing.

Dean Winchester is a private man. He doesn’t like expressing his emotions or talk about his personal life. He’s a workaholic and is married to his work. He had been working at this company ever since he was in college. While perusing his degree in business he did part take in business matters, worked as an assistant for his father. He’d worked hard for this title and four years ago he was appointed at the CEO of the company when his father stepped down.

When Dean was appointed CEO, he clearly needed an assistant too. He confided in his best friend, Castiel. Although Cas also had a degree in business administration he was not interested in taking over his father’s business and was rather interested in charity work and philanthropy. Castiel had suggested Dean to appoint Y/n as his PA, since he knew her from college and she had remarkable skills as well.

Although Dean did appoint her on Cas’ insistence he was a bit skeptical of her skills she needed a ‘recommendation’ to get a job. For the whole year, Dean made her work relentlessly, putting her skills to the test and demanding a high level of performance to prove her worth. And she did. With her hard work and extremely remarkable skills she impressed Dean, more than professionally.

In a typical cliche manner, the grumpy boss fell for his assistant. Though persuading her was a challenge for Dean. She was hell bent on keeping things professional and not wanting to cross the boundaries at her workplace. She was a hard nut to crack but eventually Dean worked his charm on her, showing her beyond his grumpy boss personality and wooing her with extreme gestures.

Now the two had been dating for almost three years and the only person who knew about them is none other than Castiel, the one who introduced them. Even Sam was not in on the secret.

“Can I go back to work, now?” Y/n asked getting up from his lap but he kept his hold firm on her hips, not letting her leave.

“No.” Y/n pouted in response, she hated when he did this, holding her hostage while at work . She really wanted to keep her personal and professional life apart, not wanting anyone to find out or even think for a second she’s sleeping with her boss.

“Dean.” She scolded when he kissed her pouty lips.

“Relax sweetheart, nobody’s coming up here anytime soon.” He shrugged and she sighed loudly, indicating her defeated even if she was reluctant. “Besides, I’ve got news for you.” Y/n raised her brow in curiosity urging him to continue. “We,” he traced her arm with his finger. “are going on a vacation.” Dean beamed at her.

“A vacation? We?” Y/n furrowed her brows. “Who’s we?” She questioned, clearly not understanding the situation. Is this a office vacation or the top officers vacation or just the two of them.

“You and me. A week in Bahamas.” Dean replied casually.

“A week? You want us to take a leave at the same time? It’d rise suspicion.” She whispered alarmingly.

“Baby, if I’m on leave then you’re on leave automatically. Besides, I’ve asked Cas to manage for a few days for me.” Dean replied. “We both have been working our ass off for the past four years, I think we deserve a vacation.” Dean grinned at her and for the first today, she agreed without interjecting. She’s just as much of a workaholic as Dean. She had taken a day off here and there but never a complete vacation. “Besides I’m dying to spend some time quality time with my girl without her grilling me about work.” Dean sassed and she smacked his arm lightly making him laugh.

“I’m not gonna slack off at work just because I’m dating you.” She said matter of factly. “And I do think we could use a vacation.” She finally agreed making his smile broaden. “God, if anyone could you see right now, Mr. Grumpy Winchester.” She giggled when he rolled his eyes. He loved it when she teased him about being a grumpy ass to everyone else except her but he would never accept it in a million years.

The door swung open and sauntered in Castiel in the flesh. Y/n quickly jumped off of Dean’s lap but relaxed when she saw it was Cas.

“Ever heard of knocking, Cas?” She taunted her friend, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Ah lovebirds. Ever the cautious.” Cas sassed back and Dean snorted earning himself a glare from her. “Don’t stop on my account, just wanted to deliver these, personally.” He said holding up two flight tickets to Bahamas.

“Thanks man.” Dean said getting up from his chair and getting the tickets from his friend. Castiel shot Y/n a teasing grin and she rolled her eyes at him, clearly unbothered by his teasing. He thrives in teasing her because she was the goody two shoes in college and the two had become friends after being paired up for an assignment, so seeing a different version of her around Dean, leaves him anything but amused.

“You are a bad influence on the both of us.” Y/n said feigning an angry glare at Cas.

“Oh dear Y/n, I know.” Cas winked and Dean laughed at his best friends shamelessness. The trio’s camaraderie was a reminder of how personal and professional lives often intersect in unexpected ways.

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @deangirl96 @queensilber

@s0urw00lf @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deans-baby-momma @fullbelieverheart

@riah1606 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @hobby27

@starkleila @suckitands33 @m3ntally-unstable @kanekilovelove-blog @candy-coated-misery0731

@blackcherrywhiskey @ladysparkles78 @goest-and-fuckest-thyself-blog @graywrites5567

@thelittlelightinthedarkess @enamoredwithbella @winchesterwild78 @myuhh8

[pezdezpencil]

My reactions from episode 13x09 of SPN

!!!!SPOILERS!!!!

The fuck'n recap was 2 minutes the hell? We remember.

Oooo artist. I likey. He cute.

"Speak of the devil." Um, half-devil.

JACK, what the hell, man!!?? You deep-fried his brain!!??

*cue sarcasm* Oh, great, one mention of Cas, that's exactly what I want. *end sarcasm*

That first shot of Kaia picking at the styrofoam cup is beautiful.

Speaking of 'beautiful', meet Kaia Nieves.

Jack's gotta keep

One jump ahead of the breadline,

One swing ahead of the sword,

I steal only what I can't afford,

That's Everything! (I'm not sorry)

MAMA!!

Fuckin' Dean's face.

You bitch-ass angels killed hot-artist-boy?! OH hell nah.

"You. Castiel. You're my family." My heart!

Dean stopped that car so fast! WHAT'S WRONG CHILD!?

"Come with us, come home." I am home, bitch.. "I am home." YAH!

"Get in the car." Dean, what th- "Get in the car.." Dude..are you seriou- "GET IN THE DAMN CAR!" WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?......that was kinda hot...but a little out of character......

That aerial shot of them running across the bridge and going into the boat is amazing!

Jodi! Jodi, Jodi.

Bo-ber-di, bo-na-na fanna.

Fo-fer-di. Fee fi mo-mer-di, Jodi! (I'm still not sorry)

Ok, I hate multi-replays. She did not need to scream three times. It would have been fine if it was an elongated scream, but don't give me that shitty-choppy-crap. It ruined the immersion.

*sees angel blade melted on the ground* ooohhh-ho-ho-ho-*sees angel wings on the wall*-ho-ho-ho-hoooly-shit!

You're killing me with these aerial shots! Damn.

Jack: MOM!

Mother Mary: MY OTHER BOY THAT I DON'T KNOW YET!

Uh-oh, brothers' in the bad place.

WHAT?! IT'S A DINOSAURAA!!

*stay tuned for the next scenes of supernatural* Every time I see Cas in that little scene I get heart palpitations.

Next Episode.

Returns January 18th?

Great.

Sam and Dean get chased by a dinosaur and get tied up?

Great..

No Cas?

Ggrreeaatt.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Today in 1776: From the Diary of Heinrich Melchior Mühlenberg

Heinrich Melchior Mühlenberg, ca. 1780.

In order to keep my Kurrentschrift reading skills alive, I was looking for a document to practice on and found the diaries of Heinrich Melchior Mühlenberg (1711–1787), later known as Henry Melchior Muhlenberg, in the digital collections of the Franckesche Stiftungen.

Heinrich Melchior Mühlenberg was a German Lutheran pastor and missionary who had been asked to come to North America by Pennsylvanian colonists. You'll probably have heard of two of his sons, Peter, a Major General in the Continental Army, and Frederick, the first Speaker of the US House of Representatives, who became associated with an urban legend that now bears his name.

Because that's a time I am interested in, I picked his 1776 diary, wanting to read a primary source from the period that has a civilian background. Heinrich's vivid notes about daily life are interspersed with news of the war and recollections of deeply touching events; one can almost feel his sadness as he recounts the burial of a child whose father has joined the war, or his joy at receiving the news he has become a grandfather. Sometimes, his notes are short observations on the weather, or the price paid for a service or ware; at others, he writes lengthy passages about his political views or indeed, as is the case on 7 August 1776, medicine.

I'll first give you my transcription of the original German in all its non-standardised, old-timey glory and add an English translation with brief annotations below.

7 August 1776

The continuation of the Domestic Trifles [title of his diary].

Several visits from inhabitants demanding physic, particularly against dysentery, which is spreading.

My Hallensian [from the town of Halle an der Saale in Germany] physic is however used up, particularly those parts [ingredients] which may aid Nature during illness, and physicians are rare as well, for many of them have joined [the soldiers on] the battlefields. A student of Aesculap, if he be proper or no I know not, has published a recipe in the English newspaper without giving his name that is said to be good: take half a drachm of an eighth of rum or brandy and as much of clean ash from a fire of nut- or oakwood as amounts to three points of a knife full. Mix brandy and ash well and give to the patient the said amount in the morning and evening for several days. The patient however must not eat meat or broth of meat while taking it and should keep to easily digestible food. Water is the best drink, to be taken with a piece of roasted bread put into, or a gleaming coal quenched in it, or mixed with a little spiritus vini. The body is to be wrapped with a flannel or woollen cloth about the navel to keep warm; all other parts of the body should be left as cool as may please the patient.

I translated this recipe into German and transmitted it to those who did not know what else to do. It has been beneficial to some and not to others. Since my family and I felt precursors of it [the illness], we took several doses of pulverised rhubarb mixed with honey and afterwards Go: amaram [Latin name of a plant] from the realm of vegetables, and were spared by God’s luck. At night, God’s grace granted us a gracious rain after a long draught. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good p[salm 107,1].

I tried to straddle the thin line of staying faithful to the original text and how it reads and trying to make the translation as readable and accessible as possible; if any of you have thoughts on that (or know what the mystery plant "Go: Amaram" is!), let me know.

There is apparently a somewhat older printed English translation of Heinrich's diaries, though I don't know how accessible it is. I for one couldn't get my hands on it and have not found any other editions, English or German, readily accessible either.

I don't know if this would be interesting to anybody, but so far I have transcriptions to last well into September, so if you'd be interested in daily/weekly updates on Heinrich's life "on this day in 1776", I think I could do that. Some entries are longer, some shorter; some more, some less interesting. So far, I can promise political rants, carriage accidents, stolen horses and... Heinrich being angry at the cost of a pair of riding breeches.

It's a really vivid and engaging document that I have planned to share for quite a while, and I hope this (first?) foray into this fascinating account of the Revolutionary War from a civilian perspective has been as exciting and interesting to you as transcribing and translating it is to me.

Source:

Diary of Heinrich Melchior Mühlenberg (1776), collections of Franckesche Stiftungen, p. 123-124 [accessed 07 August 2021].

Image credit:

Portrait of Reverend Henry Melchoir Muhlenberg, in the collection of Preservation Society of Newport County, ca. 1780. Upload by user Concord, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons [accessed 07 August 2021].

[spnsmile]

Day 10:Sweet Rides 🌸 15x14 aftermath @winchester-reload

in which Castiel learns of Mrs. Butters moving on without her lads in the Bunker. How about the angel?

Castiel knew immediately something was wrong. It was telling by how the grassy front lawn was well-trimmed in exact centimeters. 

At first, he thought maybe Dean had an incredible surge of energy to do house chores other than frying burgers, the man had gifted hands with precision to cut things, which was okay since the extra work could keep Dean from his daily dose of oil. He would've dismissed the thought had it not for the second clue.

The front metal door was glaring shine like a mirror. Cas stared.

So maybe Sam got carried away with cleaning too... Nothing new with that, he was the "neat-freak" as Dean said. The number of times he polishes his hair might just have the same effect on others. Or not.

Worried, he entered the Bunker to find Dean almost at eye level in the middle of the room. Castiel’s eye rounded as he ran to the rail exclaiming-

"Dean!?"

"Hey, look who's late at the party?" Dean said like he’s not ten feet from the floor. Castiel cranes his neck and saw that Dean was holding a wrench while on top of a steel ladder, fixing the plumbing. Sam's by the table preparing some spell while Jack sits there, finishing his milkshake and half eaten piece of pastry.

Castiel calmed himself. They were all okay.

"What happened here?" he descended the stairs.

"Cas," Jack beams, "Welcome back, you want some cake?"

"No, I... maybe later... Did something happen?" Castiel stepped near the ladder to keep it still. Dean was precariously swinging and it was distracting him. 

"Nothing serious, Cas. Just need to redo the warding, it got messed up when the Bunker went on full power." Sam answered.

"Warding? Why? Did you guys get attacked?" he moved when Dean jumped down, landing in front of him with their space paper thin. Dean looked awfully handsome as always but something was different. He looked fresh and clean and... Castiel’s nostril flared. Did Dean use some lavender...?

"Understatement for Mary Poppins. Want some tomato juice? My glass is still half full,"

"You drink tomato juice now?"

Jack nodded, "Mrs. Butters said he needs to watch out for cholesterol."

Castiel turned. "Who?"

"Oh, the wood nymph who lived here with the Men of Letters in the 50s. She’s the guardian of the Bunker.”

"She's the sweetest, most awesome gal" Dean gushed, "I mean she can cook, bake, prepare us snacks while on a hunt! She does laundry and she can even power up the Bunker, can you believe we're running this gem half baked?"

Castiel didn’t know where to begin at the load of information, so he focused on the supernatural stuff.

"A woodnymph? How? They’re magical creatures who lived in the mountains forests, the rivers or the streams and are very powerful and territorial, how did one end up here?”

“The Men of Letters tricked her,” Sam sighed, “They used her to get rid of monsters, Cas... like she’s some anti-monster machine.”

“Gowdawful sons of bitches but yeah, they were saving the world.” Dean grumbled, “but they could’ve been honest with her in the first place.”

Castiel considered Dean for a moment, the lavender scent still lingering around him. Something about his hair or his clothes? The he realized it’s the scent of the wood nymph that’s enveloped Dean’s clothes and skin.

“Get rid of it,” he said, a little annoyed.

“What?”

“Take a shower then tell me where she is, now.”

“She’s gone, Cas,” Jack answered, “Just this morning. She missed her home.”

“And that's why we can't have everything nice." Dean agreed.

Cas squinted, "What does that mean?”

“ET gone home.” Dean smiled but Castiel sensed his gloom. He knew E.T, how could he not when Dean kept asking Jack to do the finger thing?

"She was really nice Cas,” Jack said sincerely, “she looked after me and spoke to me about second chances, she was really sweet...well, until she locked me in the dungeon-”

"She did what?"

"After poisoning my system to weaken me."

"She what?!" Castiel blinked in disbelief. Dean snorted.

"He's fine, you think we'd let anyone hurt him when you’re not around? It's Sam you should hear, he went on a date with Eileen and got laid-"

"Thank you, Dean,” Sam shook his head as Jack grinned.

"She pulled out Sam's nails," he said in awe, "and nearly had Sam and Dean kill me."

Cas' mouth dropped open. He glared seething at Dean accusingly who finishes his juice with a shrug.

"It's natural someone gotta try to kill us each day, right?"

"And you?" Cas prompted, "What exactly did she do to you? Hug you so hard you almost smelled like her?”

"Jealous boyfriend, you can’t complain. You know how she multi-dimensionally vacuumed your feathers all over the place and called my room a bird house?" Dean laughed.

"She was in your room?”

"She was in his room, folding all his underthings." Sam sniggered. Dean glared at him with Cas giving him a look when he took his angel blade out. "That's it, which forest is she from?”

Dean pulled his elbow back, "Aw come on, dude, chill. She fixed the television in the Dean cave we accidentally knocked off the wall because someone couldn’t hold their--

“Dean!” Sam barked, “Language! There’s a kid here!”

“Awh, christ!” Dean cursed, “Come on.” Castiel allowed Dean to drag him to the kitchen where he served the angel a glass of tomato juice.

“Is this going to be your new diet?”

“Do you disapprove?”

“No, it’s actually good. She certainly has a knack for human care if she noticed how you’ve been... overdoing your intake of junk foods.”

“The juice is not that awful. Anyway, I bet she and her lads got a nice thing going on around here before Abaddon killed them all.” the hard note in his voice didn’t go unnoticed to Castiel who studied Dean’s face quietly.

“You want to tell me something, Dean?”

“Yep. Stop me with the tomato. It’ll kill my sense of taste.”

“You have tomato on your burger. Tell me or that tv’s in danger.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Well, you know, she kept her self preserved here since the 50s, Cas? She really missed her home. And I was thinking if things go bad, I don’t want you ending up like that.”

“Being stuck in the Bunker?” he caught Dean’s solemn eyes.

“Yeah... also being alone, waiting...it was a sweet ride, Cas, but if we don’t come back and you missed home, especially if you miss home, you gotta go okay? Don’t suspend yourself here, don’t wait. I was sorry for her, but if it happened to you...I’d... I don’t want that.”

“Hmmm” Cas nodded, “I will definitely miss home.” He stared at Dean hard, “That’s why I keep coming back to it no matter how many times I got pulled away because... I always want to be home.”

Dean blinked in surprise with red tinge flaming on his cheeks when he seemingly understood and that’s the most important thing. Castiel held his gaze in all seriousness.

“Dean, you know she had to go because no one important for her was here anymore,” Castiel clarified, “She had a reason to stay, Dean. They were gone so she moved on. It’s only natural.”

Dean nodded, but still bowed. “She still loved them even though they’re the reason she’s...”

“You can’t teach the heart reason, right?” Cas amended, “and if they were really nice to her then maybe she was happy here too. There’s no need to be sad for her, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know... just, I keep thinking about you... how in the end, we all have to go at the of the road...” Dean paused looking wary and tired, “I just wished the road just goes on, you know... I’m still afraid of that vacant seat, Cas.”

“Of course.” Castiel nodded. “So you have to save a seat for me because I’m coming along. I’m not losing you.”

Dean looked so thunderstruck, Castiel just wanted to offer him pies and burgers to make him happy again. Won’t force him the tomato juice, Dean needs his coffee too. But after awhile, his smile returned with a flicker of light in his eyes.

“Can’t get rid of you even in death, huh?” Dean sighed relaxing now.

"I’m afraid not. And now that it’s cleared, where are your underthings?” Castiel demanded. “Did she touch that Scooby doo...?”

[primordialsoundmeditation]

If you get a diagnosis that is not what you want to hear, the tendency is to say, “Oh, my god! How did I get so far away from something I want so much?” And we say, it isn’t big like that at all — it’s just a series of little things. It is the, “I could choose this thought which feels good, or this thought which doesn’t feel so good. But I’ve developed a pattern for what doesn’t feel good. And so, it is the daily dose of not being in the receiving mode that keeps me not in the receiving mode.” And that’s all that it is!

Excerpted from San Rafael, CA on 3/24/01

Our Love,

Esther

(and Abraham and Jerry)

[inacatastrophicmind]

Once both of them have caught on their breaths, Castiel tilts his head up and kisses Dean, who hums happily before returning the tender kiss.

When they pull away, they just stare at each other while they smile.

“Look at you. Fully awake without any caffeine in your system yet,” Dean teases.

“If you want me this awake every morning before I have my daily dose of caffeine, I suggest you to wake me up with sex from now on.”

Dean chuckles. “There’s no fucking way I’m gonna do all the work every morning just so you can wake up like a normal person.”

“You don’t do all the work,” Castiel protests with a deadly glare.

“I do for the first five minutes. And the worst of all is that if I stop, you complain,” Dean replies with a cocky smile. Castiel rolls his eyes. “You’re a lazy ass in the morning.”

“And you are a pain in the ass in the morning.”

Dean smirks. “I bet that this morning I am a worse pain in the ass than ever.”

Castiel pushes Dean off him, and Dean rolls to the free side of their bed, laughing hysterically. Castiel glares him, but there is a sweet smile on his lips that he is trying so hard to hide.

“You’re so grumpy,” Dean says while he lies on his side to get closer to Cas.

Castiel turns his head to look at his husband. “And you are insufferable.”

Dean simply nods and kisses Castiel. The ex-angel instantly melts into the kiss and rolls to his side until he is pressed against Dean, making their knees bump.

“You kind of like it when I’m insufferable,” Dean murmurs with a tiny smirk.

“Only sometimes,” Castiel admits, giving him some sort of glare. “But I definitely hate it when I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

“I know.” He presses a brief kiss on Cas’ lips and then he smiles.

They keep staring at each other for a moment. Dean’s hand comes to cup Castiel’s face and his thumb moves on his cheekbone, his fingertips brushing some of his dark hair. He keeps looking at Cas, with a soft smile and so much love in his eyes.

“What?” Castiel asks, narrowing his blue eyes.

“I was thinking something sappy,” Dean confesses, timidly.

“You always do.”

“You’re a pain in the ass sometimes.”

“I bet that last night I was a real pain in the ass,” Castiel says with a serious voice, but there’s a mischievous smile making its way into his lips.

“Hey!” Dean protests as he playfully kicks Cas’ shin, earning him an amused chuckle from the fallen angel. “Don’t use my jokes against me!”

Castiel grins and then he kisses him. Dean can’t help but melt into it, his argument fading away.

“What’s that sappy thing you were thinking?” Castiel asks with a tender tone. His hand reaches Dean’s sandy hair and his fingers start to comb it softly.

“I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you,” Dean confesses, looking at his husband’s beautiful eyes. “I’m not used to having good things in my life. And the few good things I did have, well, they didn’t last for long.”

“I know,” Castiel murmurs, giving Dean a look of understanding. He leans and kisses him sweetly and Dean sighs into it. “I’m lucky to have you, too. After everything we both have gone through, I feel fortunate.”

Dean smiles. “Even if sometimes I’m insufferable?”

“Even then.”

Dean’s smile widens. “I love you, Cas.”

Castiel grins. “I love you, too, Dean.”

They share another kiss.

“Wanna get up?” Dean asks.

“No,” Castiel answers as he gets his arms around Dean and holds him tightly. “We can linger here until your stomach protests because it hasn’t been fed.”

“Sounds good to me,” Dean says with a big grin before getting his arms around Cas and hugging him tightly.

[spnjediavenger]

Who You Are (Sam x teen!sister!reader)

Title: Who You Are (Sam x teen!sister!reader)

Type: one-shot

Warnings: self harm scars, brief talk of SH (nothing at all graphic), depression, some bullying and angst

Spoilers: none

Notes: I in no way fantasize self harm, i’ve struggled with it which is why i wrote this. If you struggle/have struggled, you are much stronger than you think! Just know you're not alone and that there's so much help out there!

Also, sorry for the lack of Dean. As much as I love him (though I’m still totally a Sam girl), I see Sam as more of the better/easier one to talk to for emotional topics.

Y/n took long, fast strides as she neared the bunker, anxious to get inside and forget about her day at school.

Y/n was Sam and Dean’s half sister. After she lost her immediate family, the boys took her in and did all they could to give her a normal(ish) life. She wanted to go to school like a normal teenager. Live out her high school years like a normal kid would do. Have normal classes and normal, non-hunting friends. Not that she had anything against hunters, but she wanted to avoid any outside hunting stimuli.

When she got to the bunker, it became a big home. She got very close to Sam, Dean, and Cas. She was able to get away from her past struggles and was ready to get back to school and start over. But today, and days prior, she was sad to see that just wouldn’t be the case.

Y/n could always see the stares. But she didn’t care. She knew almost everyone had bullies; she could ignore hers. She wouldn’t let them get the best of her. But as the days and weeks went on, it got harder and harder to ignore them. The lines on her wrist and light ones up her arm made sure of that.

Losing her family was hard on her, as it would be on anyone. But her underlying mental illness made it that much worse. Even with Sam and Dean saving her and taking her in, she turned to cutting. It was a release, gave her some semblance of control, and the physical pain took precedence over her emotional pain.

But with the boys’ help, she was eventually able to stop. And she was able to move on from that part of her life. She still didn’t feel comfortable showing her scars and often wore long sleeves. So when they rolled up one day, Y/n was unfortunate enough to have a lot of others see.

“Freak.”

“Couldn’t you do anything else?”

“Weak.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

Shame.

“She’s messed up.”

“Why would you do that to yourself?”

Shame.

Though the comments weren’t always hateful persay, they still hurt because they made her feel alone and misunderstood. Today she got an extra dose of it when some bullies were picking on her. Blaming her for being careless, weak, and stupid. They made her feel shameful of what she did. For her actions that will forever be indented into her skin.

So, Y/n threw the bunker door open, quickly closing it behind her and running down the stairs. Sam was sitting at a table in the library, Dean gone on a solo hunt, and looked through the war room upon hearing her.

“Hey, kiddo. How was school?” he called as he turned his head. Though by the time he asked, Y/n was already gone. Uh oh, he thought. Sam lightly sighed, closed his book, set it down, and headed to Y/n’s room. Walking down the hallways, he finally approached her door. “Y/n?” he said, lightly tapping his knuckles on the wood. “Y/n/n, can I come in?”

He almost didn’t hear it, but a quiet, small-sounding ‘sure’ came from the girl’s room. Sam opened the door to find Y/n laying on her side, facing away from him,  sniffling quietly. Sam sighed again and went to sit at the edge of her bed. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Nothing,” Y/n whispered, shaking her head a little. She knew Sam would see right through her lies, but she didn’t want to look weak in front of him. She was supposed to be past her struggles - over the hurt and the pain.

Sam almost rolled his eyes at her stubbornness were she not upset right now. “You know I can tell you’re lying, right?” he lightly jested her. He grew serious again before adding, “Really, what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Y/n sniffled before sitting up against the headboard of her bed and wrapping her arms around her legs, still not looking at Sam. He looked at her patiently, but his concerned expression willed her to speak. Y/n sighed. “It’s just-...just some kids being jerks,” she said, eyes downcast as she felt ashamed for letting people getting to her, as well as what they shamed her for.

Sam’s heart panged with empathy. “I know the feeling. I was bullied when I was in high school too. And I know it’s easier said than done, but you can’t let them get to you. How long has this been going on?”

Y/n shrugged. “Since starting I guess. But I was always able to handle it…”

“So what changed?” Sam asked, worry lines creasing his forehead.

He caught the movement of her hand unconsciously going to hold her left wrist, a couple tears finally escaping her eyes. That told him all he needed. Sam sighed as his heart got heavy. Not just at his sister’s hurt, but at how people could be so ignorant.

The younger Winchester brother scooted up to fully sit on Y/n’s bed. He ran his hands comfortingly down her arms until he reached her wrists, untangling them from around her legs.

“Y/n, don’t listen to those kids. They have no idea the pain you went through that drove you to do that. You-”

“I was weak, Sam,” she whimpered. “I messed up by doing these things and I’m stupid for-”

“Y/n Winchester, you listen to me,” Sam interrupted her, voice shaking with emotion. Y/n finally looked him in the eyes to see his tearing up as well. “Those kids don’t decide who you are. You do. And if you look back and see the strength it took for you to reach out, get help, and quit cutting, you’ll see yourself as a strong, brave young woman who survived her own personal hell.” Sam paused to grab the left sleeve of her shirt, making Y/n grab his hand, squeezing her eyes shut and clenching her teeth to keep a cry from escaping.

Sam put his free hand to lovingly cup her cheek to make her look at him again. “Y/n, it’s ok. Don’t be ashamed of these,” he continued, successfully pushing her sleeve up to reveal the group of scars, some different shades and different thicknesses than others. He ran a thumb over the lines and gave her a sad, tearful smile. Y/n closed her eyes again as she finally let out a soft sob. “Don’t be ashamed of your scars. They’re a sign of your strength and are a reminder of how far you’ve come. Other people might not understand that, but I want you to. Alright?”

Y/n nodded and sobbed again as Sam pulled her into a hug, holding her head against his shoulder. He gave his sister a kiss on her temple and rested his head against hers. “You are so strong, Y/n. If I need to remind you every day, I will. Please don’t be ashamed of what you did or who you are.” Y/n nodded against his chest and hugged him tighter.

“I love you, Sammy,” she cried.

Sam wiped a hand down his face to clear the tears away. “I love you too, sis. Dean and I both do. And we’re proud as hell of who you are, baby girl.”

A/N: I wrote this one a little in haste as well cuz it was something I've had in my mind. I hide my scars like this but only around my dad cuz i know he views them so negatively and i dont have the emotional capacity to deal with that on a daily basis.

Anyway, if you have scars and struggle with your image like i do sometimes, don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself or your worth cuz they have no idea the pain you’ve been through that drove you to those actions. A line in one of my favorite songs goes, “every scar on my skin is a beautiful reminder/of a moment when I didn't give in and I walked through fire” (Warrior by Hannah Kerr). Hang in there!

[thearcanaartificer]

Misadventures Series

Title: Dog Pile

Characters: Julian Devorak and Odelia (My Apprentice)

Rating: T

Genre: Domestic Fluff

Word Count: 3893

Note: This will be posted on AO3 soon, but I want to post it here first because people here are wonderful. 

I always felt bad for Melchior and Mercedes, especially since Lucio never comes back in most stories. So here’s a twist to Julian’s upright ending.

______________

“I’ll be with you in just a moment!” Julian called out of his office in response to the bell above his clinic’s door chiming. 

He was in the middle of finishing up his last patient’s file- a new patient that had come in to be treated for a sprained wrist- and didn’t want to forget anything specific to his patient that needed to be noted. It wasn’t that he was forgetful, but he did lose a few slight details if distracted. His brows furrowed when he heard the clicking sound his mind instantly recognized as dog paws against the wooden floors of his clinic.  He quickly wrote the last note before getting up to investigate.

“I’m sorry,” He started as he began to open up his office door, “But any dogs or animals in general are not… allowed…” He trailed off as he looked about to find no human about. 

Just two fluffy white tails wagging earnestly at the edge of his vision. He looked down and a light gasp escaped him. A nervous smile edged onto his lips as he stared into the faces of two very familiar Borzoi dogs. Their tails wagged even more at the eye contact.

“Well… hello there.” He shoved back his trepidation to the back of his mind, reminding himself that there was no one around anymore to order them to attack him. He pulled his gloves off and let the two sniff at his hands. “It’s been quite a while, hasn’t it, sobachki?”

The dogs gave a quick sniff of his hands before they began to lick at them with eager whines. Julian couldn’t keep himself from letting out a light laugh before stooping lower and tentatively reaching behind their ears to give them a good ear rub. One hand for each dog. The two ate up his attention like they were starved of it. It was Melchior, the one with the ruined ear, that eventually leapt up to shove Julian over and Mercedes pounced upon his prone state. Fear ran through him for only a moment before her tongue lapped at his face.

Melchior’s front paws were standing on his stomach and he was licking up Julian’s exposed chest, causing him to laugh helplessly as his tongue tickled him. Both tails wagged excitedly as the man below said dogs pleaded between laughs for mercy. Melchior nor Mercedes let up and he had to close his mouth as he struggled not to laugh because Mercedes seemed determined to stick her tongue in his mouth. She had already caused his eyepatch to go askew and fall off his face entirely at her ministrations. All of a sudden Lady, his wife’s red Éirish Setter, was also now in the room, assisting the two menaces as she sniffed and poked her nose in his ticklish spots and lapped at his bare skin too.

“Hahaha! No! Whoahahaha! Stop! Stopstopstop- ahaahahaahaa- Ne tam! Please! Whahahaaha!” He begged between guffaws futility with the three dogs. He tried to push them off, but every time he managed one, they others overwhelmed him until all three could continue their affectionate doggy assault upon him. It took him a moment to think better of it and call out to the mastermind of these three. “O-odelia! Plea-egh- not in my mouth, hahaha, Mercedes! Odelia, ahahaha-urk, Melchior, ne tam! Not there! S-save meeeee! Whahahaha.”

He was pretty sure he was crying from how hard he was laughing but with Mercedes washing his face, he wasn’t entirely sure. He had given up pushing them off and was covering his open mouth with a hand to protect himself from Mercedes’s tongue.  He had also pulled his legs up to try to keep his more delicate parts protected.

“Save you?” His darling wife’s coquettish tone sent a trill down his spine. He peered up, having to force his eyes to stay open to see her standing with a bemused smile on her face as she watched the dogs kiss him. “I’m sorry, my darling love, but that’s not what I came here to do.”

“Nyet~ Nechestno~!!” was all he had time to squeal before she pounced on him with a war cry of “Tickle attack!”.

She sat on his lap, straddling him, and danced her strong fingers up and down his sides, causing him to wriggle and writhe as his laughter became even louder than before. His legs behind her kicking and squirming fruitlessly. She tugged his shirt out of his pants between tickles and he tried to use his free hand to stop her from unbuttoning his shirt further so the dogs had more skin to tickle, but either Melchior or Lady always seemed to get in the way and soon he was trying to curl up from how hard he was laughing, covering his face entirely as he guffawed uncontrollably. He could hear his wife’s peals of laughter as she took enjoyment from her teasing.

By the time Odelia called off the hounds (quite literally), he was shivering from the energy loss, dizzy from the unsteady air supply due to his constant laughter, and his muscles burning a bit from how hard and long he had laughed. His wife was already moving to grab him a blanket to wrap him up in. He was heaving every breath he had as he laid supine on the floor. He had no energy at the moment to move other than the shivers that wracked his body.

“I will admit, that was not the original intention, but I quite enjoyed where it led.” Odelia told him as she wrapped a warm quilted down blanket around him and tucked a pillow under his head. “You okay?”

Melchior and Mercedes chose at that moment to cuddle up to him, one on each side and their heads resting on his chest as he regained control of his breathing. At first, he was a bit apprehensive, but seeing that neither dog had ill intention (or ready to give him round two of a tickle attack), he relaxed. He rested a hand on each dog’s head and rubbed their ears. Lady was sitting next to Odelia, ever her faithful companion.

“Ha… ha…. My legs feel weak and… haha… I feel like I may have popped a rib from all the laughing. But I didn’t hate it.” He told her with a tired smile. “I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in my life… haha-ha…”

“Well,” She patted his chest lovingly. “Gotta make sure you get daily dose of endorphins somehow.”

“Ya tak ustala seychas.” His eyes closed heavily and he felt like, with the dogs wrapped around him like this he could drift off at a moment’s notice.

“You being tired is merely a bonus effect. Just like sex,” he let out a choking sound as his face colored pink, “except I think hearing you laugh is more enjoyable.” She made a thoughtful look before she met his gaze, her eyes turning sultry as she continued to talk. “Hmm, make it a really close second. Or a non-sexual first. I love the sounds you make during sex. You get so whiny and needy and it's all so pretty and thrilling to observe.”

Before he got too worked up- because he really was exhausted by how hard he had laughed- he decided to redirect his wife back to her original purpose of bringing these two dogs to his clinic.  “Ha… So, ah, uh, what was the, uh, original intention, Myska?”

“Oh, yes, right!” His wife didn’t forget things necessarily, she just misplaced the thought when distracted. “Mel?”

The white slinky like dog whined, but got up to go fetch something that had been set on one of the chairs in the front of the clinic. He came back with an envelope carefully held in his mouth and proffered it to Julian. He raised a brow, looking first at the dog before glancing at his mischievous spouse, trying to get a feel for what was going on. He turned back to Melchior to take the letter and the dog cuddled back up to him after he did.

“What’s this, hmm?” He released his hold on Mercedes to open up the envelope with unadulterated curiosity. Inside was a written letter, in his wife’s hand.

“I helped pen it, is all.” Odelia told him as she reached over to play with Melchior’s good ear. “Doggy paws aren’t dexterous enough to write and they are not that smart, but these doggies are smart enough to dictate for me.”

“Right. You can hear other people’s familiars.” He remembered the unusual quirk bestowed to her by having the body of an Arcana. The more shocking revelation hadn’t been that she could hear familiars as it was that these two had been Lucio’s. He unfolded the letter and began to read it out loud.

“Dear Doctor Hooman- really Odelia?”

“So I wrote it in character, it makes it cuter. The thespian in you should appreciate it. Keep reading.”

He heaved out a dramatic sigh, a playful smile on his lips, before beginning once more. “Dear Doctor Hooman, My sissy and me arwe verwy sorrwy we use to chase u and act like we would bite u. Our old pawpaw (snrk. Paw-paw? That’s adorable Myska, even if you mean Lucy) told us to and we wanted to be good doggies fur our old pawpaw. But Pawpaw is gone now and we arwe alone.” 

He stopped, frowning as he looked over at Odelia, who was deliberately not making eye contact with him. He had a feeling he knew where this was going. Melchior let out a small woof and Mercedes nudged him with her nose, both wanting him to continue. There was an anxiousness in their forms causing their stilled tails to nervously twitch periodically as well.

He cleared his throat and continued. “Noddy-a haz no time fur us and we arwe lonely. We want a new home where we can be good doggies and get pets and attention and bellie rubs and cuddles and walkies and -did we mention attention? We remember u use to have a doggy and u like doggies. Since ur doggy is no longer… no longer here…” He had to take a moment before continuing. “A-and our old pawpaw is gone too… can… we…” Odelia was watching as her sweet husband tried not to cry at the words the two dogs had dictated to her (she had nearly done so herself). He rubbed his eyes a bit with his palm as he a long breath of air stuttered out of his chest. “Ca-an we be ur go-od doggies and u be o-our n… new Pawpaw?”

A sniffle escaped him as he lowered the letter. His face blotchy as he fought the urge to cry. “G-goodness, Myska, can you write it a-anymore pathetic? I don’t th-think my heart is c-completely c-cru-shed yet.”

“I wrote what these two dictated, remember? It’s all them! Two doggish masters of manipulation! It’s not called puppy eyes technique because humans were the first to use it!” She herself would have cave, like, sentence three. But this was a request for Julian, not her.

He had laid the letter on top of his chest as he stroked the dogs at his side caringly. Concern etched into his forehead as he spoke his thoughts. “I… don’t know… I mean, it’s not like I’m against th-the idea entirely, but well… I… I don’t mean to sound negative, but… but our home is way too small to add two dogs on top of everything else. A-and these two are trained hunting dogs! Ex-familiars or not, they’ll instinctively go after Posey a-and Juniper!”

Odelia smiled at his consideration. “Don’t worry about that. We can work around Posey and Juniper. What do you want to do? Taking them in would make them yours. Like Brundle was yours. Like Lady and Sebby are mine. I know you’ve craved the affection and been a little disappointed at how much I’m chosen over you.”

“I...I didn’t realize I was so, ah, transparent.” He glanced away in embarrassment. He didn’t mean to come off as that desperate.

“Don’t think you’re the first I’ve seen disappointed.” Odelia smiled, scooting closer so she could run her fingers through his hair. “Sebby never even took to Asra. Tolerated him. Unlike you, where he’ll come ask for food and the occasional pet and sometimes sit in your lap- until you make a big deal of it. And Lady follows me everywhere.”

“But what about Posey? And Juniper? It’ll definitely be a problem.”

“Firstly, as much as I love Posey and Juniper, I don’t have as strong of a bond with them as I do with Sebby and Lady. Juniper’s a fox. She will always be too feral to be fully housebroken or anything more than a wild animal that I love. And Posey’s life is short. I would be foolish to bond too much with something that dies in a few years time. Secondly, I’ve already secured them new homes, if you want these two. Homes that I visit all the time. In fact, Juniper will probably be going regardless, because her quality of life will be even better.”

“Where… where will they be going?” Julian was already pulling the two dogs closer and Odelia could tell he wanted them, but the thought of her losing any of her animals because of his wants weighed on his consciousness. He wouldn’t admit to wanting them until he knew her animals were in good homes and that his wife wouldn’t begrudge him for having to give them up. Though she wanted him to admit his wants, she knew he wasn’t there yet. Alleviating him of his anxiousness would help him voice his desires in this situation.

She maneuvered so that she was lying on his chest, arms around his neck, and her nose running up and down his temple as she spoke softly in his ear. “Pasha is taking Juniper. Since she’s in charge of the wild animal reserve, she lives in a pretty nice place on the property and Juniper will have a bigger area to run around in and a way bigger habitat than the one in our apartment. And Pasha loves Juni. And since Juniper was raised around cats- the whole set up is even better.”

“And Posey?”

“Nadia could pet that bunny for hours. Has too. Chandra doesn’t attack her either, so Nadia will be taking Posey in exchange for us taking these two menaces off her hands. Posey’ll be a royal bunny for the rest of her life. Probably get really fat with how much she’ll be spoiled too.”

“It’ll still be quite cramped in the apartment with three dogs, two humans, and one cat.”

“Well, when it becomes too much, we’ll just figure out a creative solution so it's not cramped with ‘three dogs, two humans, and one cat’.” She lifted her lips to press them against his temple in a sweet kiss. “We’ll fret about it later. What do you want, Juli.”

“Oh I’m Juli today, hmm?” There was a playful tease in his tone as he deflected.

She nipped at his earlobe, getting a startled gasp. “Keep it up and you’ll be ‘Pretty Princess Jules’ all day tomorrow.”

He whined a bit at that name. “Ugh. It’s never going to go away. I still get called that at times down at the Raven.”

“Change taverns.”

“Blasphemy.”

“Then suffer.” She suckled a bit on his earlobe, eliciting a pleased groan before quitting her ministrations to press the original subject. “So, what are we doing about these two?”

“Is it really okay if we keep them?” His tone was shy and she sat up, straddling his waist with her legs and her hands on his blanketed chest, observing his expression. He still looked unsure about if it was alright. 

“This isn’t about if it’s okay or not okay. Outside of our sexual activities, I don’t get to dictate what you have permission to want or not want- and even then I don’t have ultimate control because your consent is important to me. Yes, I helped with this because this seemed like something you’d like, but I told these two it’d ultimately be your decision. So this. This right here is about what do you want, Julian? Right, wrong, doesn’t matter. I simply want to hear you tell me what you want.”

It didn’t take anymore coaxing to get him to admit his desires. His face turned serious, the uncertainty was gone. “I want this, Myska. I want them. I want to have dogs that are mine.”

Immediately after admitting that, both Melchior and Mercedes, barely able to contain their excitement, sprang up and began to kiss at his face, tails wagging like crazy. Julian sputtered as he was barraged with kisses once more. However this time, he wrapped his arms around both dogs and yanked them off their feet and into his chest. Their bodies slammed into Odelia’s arms on his chest, knocking her a bit off balance and, with a surprised shriek from her as he bucked his hips up, she crashed down against his chest between the squirming dogs. He linked his hands behind her and held all three of them in one of his famous bear hugs.

“Okayokayokay!” Julian chanted at the continued kisses from the dogs, though they were mostly licking at his neck now. 

“Juli!” His wife cried out as she wriggled and squirmed to escape. He kicked up one of his legs, pushing the blanket out of his way and skillfully crossed his gangly appendage so that she was locked in. “No~ No fair~!”

He craned his neck to kiss her lips getting a squeal from her as she yanked her head back.

“Yuck! No kisses! You’re covered in dog saliva!”

“Jokes on you, I’ve been covered in saliva. You've been smooching me with doggy spit all over me the whole time!”

“Oh gross! I did! Phwaw, phwaw. I can taste it! Yuck!”

“Doggie kisses. Mwah!” He kissed her lips again, causing her to try to squirm out, but he simply tugged her back up between the squirming dogs also trapped in his arms and kissed her again. “Mwah, mwah, mwah. Oomphf!”

Lady hated to be left out and jumped in, landing on top of Odelia and licking at any skin she could reach. Julian looped her into his hold too. He held them all tightly for a moment before, just to be obnoxious and because he could, began to rock the lot of them back and forth on his chest while crooning some sort of Nevivion sea shanty.

“Ah! Did I marry a man or a bear!?” She forgot how strong he was until he pulled stunts like this. Gangly bear man.

“Whoho-ho-ho-ho~ You may never know, Myska.” He pressed a kiss to her crown, giving them all one more tight squeeze before quitting his rocking and simply held them all as he reveled in the moment. The dogs had all settled down and were just soaking up the attention in this cuddle pile.

“They’ll need new collars.” Julian spoke aloud.

“Naturally. I am not very fond of the whole gold aesthetic.”

“Yeah and the spikes really dig into the flesh.” He grunted as he began to loosen his hold. He had been able to ignore it due to the blanket buffering the effects, but it was really starting to smart.

“Oh shit! Are you okay, Julian?” She was already checking for injuries.

“Perfectly.” He looped his arms out from around the dogs to wrap around his wife’s tiny waist. “I have two new dogs and a wonderful wife.” He pushed his face into the nape of her neck. “I’m really so very lucky, my darling Myska.”

There was a long pause before Odelia spoke. “Wide black lambskin collars? Silver heart shaped tags?”

“Definitely.” He agreed. “How are they with people?”

She paused, listening to a series of barks, whines, and doggy huffing. “How agreeable do you want them around strangers?”

“If they are to be in the clinic with me, very agreeable. Especially around children. No biting for any pulled tails and such.”

There was another pause and a few more barks. “They are willing to be that agreeable only if they are allowed to reserve the right to attack threats to your person without commands if you seem under duress and cannot give commands. Also, decent treats for any amount of tail pulling that they endure.”

“Done.”

“Well, it looks like our family now has three dogs.”

“Sebastian will be thrilled.” Sebby, in fact, would not be thrilled.

“Sebby will deal with it. I’ll just have to give him a few extra doses of catnip in the beginning to help him adjust.”

“Drugging your cat to get him to cooperate, sounds criminal.”

“Well, I did marry a criminal, so- ah! No! I’m ticklish!!”

“Oh, I’m quite aware.”

Before he could fully declare a tickle attack on his wife, the bell above his clinic door rang and the two of them froze. The look on Odelia’s face told him that she was certain she had remembered to lock it.

It was Portia’s voice called out from the door. “I’m sorry I let myself if with the key you gave me, Ilya. I was too excited to wait to hear if you’re keeping th- what are you two doing?”

The two of them let out a sigh of relief before Julian threw his wife a mischievous grin and a waggle of his eyebrows. She raised a brow, her impish lopsided smile pulling at her lips. 

“Pasha.” Julian whispered in a frantic, excited tone. “Pasha, you gotta come over here and see this.”

“See what? You cuddling three dogs and Odie? I can see that from here.” She didn’t budge from the door, Pepi at her heels. “Why are you on the floor anyways?”

“Come here. If you come here, you’ll see it.” Odelia gave Julian his props. He was quite the method actor. He sounded so earnest and excited.

She hesitantly walked towards them, as if unsure this was a trap.

“Closer. No, no, no, closer. Pasha, do you want to see it or not? Closer.”

“Ilya,” Portia said rather exasperated. She took one final step to stand by Julian’s shoulder as he peered up at her with a smile. “I’m standing right here. What am I looking for?”

He released his hold on the lot in his arms to wave his sister closer. “You need to bend a bit to see it. I swear, Pasha, it’s great!”

She leaned down, suspicion coiled in her shoulders as well as written on her face as she did. She didn’t even register Julian’s hand shoot out to grab at her shoulder and pull her down until she was tumbling towards the hodgepodge group with a surprised yelp. Odelia caught her so that she didn’t land hard on either Julian or the dogs, but before she could really collect herself, both Julian and Odelia were declaring “Tickle fight!”

“Ahahahahahaha~ Nooooo~ I-Ilya! O-Odie!! No fair!!! Hahahaahahaaa- ah! No! No dog kisses! P-Pepi! Hahahahaha~! Save me~!”

Pepi decidedly chose not to join the conglomerate mess of dogs and humans on the floor to rescue her human and instead went next door to go visit Sebby.

[havenoffandoms]

Chuckleheads in Love

Pairing: Destiel

Requested by @very-anxious-ottter

Prompt: Destiel Coffee Shop AU, but instead of one being a barista and the other a customer, both are baristas in training trying to get the one position left open...

I tried something here... added my own little twist to it. Hope you like it anyway. Bare with me if it’s horrible lol. I had fun writing it though, and I hope you have just as much fun reading it. 

In the twelve years Gabriel had owned his own business, he had seen many a chucklehead pass the doors of his Wonderful Coffee Emporium, the most exclusive (and expensive) coffee shop in Lawrence, Kansas. He had had his share of rude, and downright arrogant customers. That was just something he had grown accustomed to over the years, and Gabriel fully expected his employees to be thick-skinned when working in his Emporium. The customers had ceased to be Gabriel’s problem a long time ago.

Employees. Them bunch could be a right nightmare to deal with. Recently, Gabriel had to get rid of his best barista because the dude could not keep it in his pants. The guy had knocked up one of Gabriel’s best client’s daughter… who had understandably not been very happy to his perfect angel girl turn into a potential future ‘Teen Mom’ participant. Very bad for the family name, you understand. Gabriel could not afford to lose this particular client – who also acted as a supplier of one of his best coffee brands – and therefore, sacrifices had to be made. Gabriel had only reluctantly agreed to let his barista go. He had been the best in the state, and replacing his expertise would be a challenge. And probably a very expensive one at that, too.

This was how Gabriel ended up advertising a barista position online and in the newspapers. He had interviewed around thirty candidates. He had only invited two back for a second meeting. Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester, both young, eager to please and ambitious. They were the raw clay Gabriel could mould into the perfect employee. The only issue was, they were both really, tremendously good. Their portfolio had been varied, professional and elegant. Gabriel would be judging their technical skills during a live ‘stand-off’. Exciting, right?

Gabriel went to greet the two candidates before his Emporium at seven am sharp. The shop opened at eight. They had one hour to convince him that one of them was fit for the job, and worth investing in. In a grandiose and dramatic way, Gabriel pulled the doors to his shop open and grinned widely at the two young men standing awkwardly a few feet away from each other, avoiding eye-contact.

“Hello, boys” Gabriel greeted them, stepping outside and letting the doors swing shut behind him, “my name is Gabriel and I own the Wonderful Coffee Emporium. This…” the blonde motioned to the building behind him, “is my little baby. I want what’s best for it, and that includes the most skilful employees. A brand like this one takes work. And like they say, the devil is in the details. Now… you both have what it takes, but only one of you will get the job. Good luck”

Gabriel invited the two candidates in, and went to sit at a nearby table. The taller man, whom the owner recognised as Dean Winchester, stood with his hands deep in his black chino pockets. He would have to neaten up his presentation, but those were details. Meanwhile the other young man, Castiel, was seemingly doing his very best to look everywhere but at Gabriel. Not ideal when dealing with clients, but again, easily rectified.

“Your first task… make me a large Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, Sugar Free Syrup, Extra Shot, Light Ice, no Whip” Gabriel grinned impishly when he noticed the confused and lost expressions on the two young men’s faces. “Come on, chop chop”

Castiel and Dean exchanged a worried look, but soon enough Dean nodded to himself and went behind the counter to get to work. Castiel soon followed, visibly trying to steer clear from Dean. Gabriel had deliberately left out instructions such as where to find the tall glasses or how to use the coffee machines. A good employee needed to cope well with stress and be adaptable. He watched carefully as the two men got to work. Every now and again, he would notice one of them glance briefly at the other. However, there was no malice or competitiveness in their eyes. In fact, they were furtive glances, almost apologetic ones. Odd. As far as Gabriel knew, the two men did not know each other. It did not take the two boys long to bring Gabriel his order. Unsurprisingly, despite the complexity of his order, the coffees were both perfect.

“Very good. Now, Dean… what could you have done better?” Gabriel asked. The green-eyed man cleared his throat, taking a moment to think of an answer.

“Well… I suppose I could have done better with the presentation. I mean… Cas is better with that kind of stuff, anyway” Dean admitted, blushing ever so slightly. Gabriel raised one eyebrow and noticed out of the corner of his eyes the smaller man glare at his counterpart. Alright. Curiouser and curiouser.

“Indeed, Castiel I really like what you did with the foam. Do you usually draw little pictures in your coffees?”

“I do, sir. Where I work now, it’s become my main duty”

“Very impressive” Gabriel granted, “although I have to say, the flavour is more present in Dean’s realisation. Maybe sometimes you should focus more on the taste and less on the presentation. Clients can’t taste foam-art”

“To be fair, sir, presentation is what distinguishes a good coffee from a great one” Dean piped up defensively, which earned himself another glare. Gabriel was not sure what exactly was going on, but he knew that something about the situation was off. Those boys knew each other, that was certain. What the circumstances were, that the owner of the Emporium vowed to figure out.

“Alright, your next job. Make me a tall non-fat latte, two percent foam. Do not be fooled by the simplicity of the order, though…” Gabriel advised, raising a warning finger. While Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Dean once again immediately set to work. The smaller man’s actions looked more hesitant. Gabriel noticed with surprise how Dean discreetly – or so he thought – whispered the instructions in Castiel’s ear as he moved back and forth between his coffee machine and the dishware rack. While the smaller man did his best to pretend he was not paying attention to his counterpart, Gabriel noticed the increase in confidence in Castiel’s actions. Again, the two men brought him their concoctions and Gabriel tasted both of them.

“I can see a trope here. Again, Dean yours tastes smoother, but Castiel your presentation is just beautiful…”

“Thank you, sir” The blue-eyed man blushed delicately at the back-handed compliment, while the faintest of proud smiles grew on Dean’s lips. For some reason, Gabriel was convinced that the taller man was happier about Castiel getting recognition than his own accomplishment.

“I’ll need several minutes to make a decision” Gabriel declared, standing up from his seat, “you guys enjoy your own creations. Feel free to grab something to eat, there’s sweet bites next the bar”

Gabriel vanished into the kitchen with only one intention in mind; spy on the two peculiar candidates. As soon as he was out of sight, he noticed Dean lean over so his head rested on Castiel’s shoulder. From where he stood, Gabriel could make out the taller man batting his eyelashes flirtatiously. The owner of the Emporium could make out the faint voices as he picked up bits and pieces of their conversation.

“I’m still mad at you” Cas snapped at Dean, moving away from the other man, “and I don’t care how much you compliment me, I’m downright pissed”

“C’mon, babe” Dean moaned, remorse lacing his tone, “I said I was sorry”

“Working for this place was always my dream, Dean. You had no right to apply for the position” Castiel accused, turning his back on the other man. Gabriel wondered why he paid good money for a TV package when he could have hired those two cuckoos earlier and get his daily dose of soap operas for free.

“Hang on, this is a free country. I couldn’t pass the opportunity… Besides, you know Balthazar wants to make you manager of his coffee shop one day… I don’t understand why you’re so insistent on leaving” Dean defended himself. Gabriel recognised the name Balthazar… not exactly a rival, mind you. His concept was different, more family-orientated, which meant that the clientele Gabriel did not bother targeting had somewhere else to go where they could enjoy a nice coffee. And Gabriel knew it was good quality coffee… he had tasted it himself a while ago.

“Dean, that’s not the point…” Castiel sighed.

“What is it, then? Honestly dude… Balthazar let me go, I should be the one complaining that you’re here”

“How dare you…” Cas guffawed indignantly. Dean merely raised his hands in surrender.

“Babe, I’m just saying. We need both our wages if we want to keep the apartment. And you have a good job waiting for you when Balthazar retires. Why are you so mad that I applied for this job? I only meant well. That guy will pay a shitload… and then I’ll finally be able to get you that ring I’ve been meaning to buy you for ages now…”

Castiel looked at the other man, his expression softening considerably when his blue eyes met Dean’s green ones. The smaller man sighed in defeat, cracking an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. I guess I needed to prove to myself – and to you – that I could do this. I know I’m not the best barista, and today proves this. I guess I should be grateful that Balthazar still allows me to work for him”

Gabriel noticed fondly how Dean interlaced his fingers with Castiel’s. Those two were adorable, they really were. Dean closed the distance between himself and his lover and sealed their lips with a tender kiss. A shit eating grin illuminated Castiel’s features, an embarrassed giggle escaping him.

“Dean, stop. Your boss will be back anytime now”

“Who says he’s gonna pick me?” Dean asked, peppering Castiel’s face with kisses. Disgustingly sweet was never an expression Gabriel thought he would ever have to use, but it was fitting to the scene unfolding before his eyes.

“Because even if he picked me, I would not take the job. You’re right, you have a right to this position, too. And I think you’ll love it here”

“You’re sure, babe?” came the uncertain question. Castiel nodded, smiling reassuringly and gently cupping Dean’s face.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m sorry for being such an assbutt”

“You’re my favourite assbutt, though” Dean countered, kissing his lover once again. Gabriel shook his head, slightly amused by the men’s silliness, however the two of them had their hearts in the right place. Walking back to the table, Gabriel braced himself to announce who would be joining his team. Castiel and Dean both tensed up as they saw him return.

“Well, Dean congratulations, you’re in” Gabriel announced loudly, a wide grin on his face, “but before you start thanking me and all that, let me tell you guys something. The key to a successful partnership is communication. Even a team of the most talented employees in the world would be worthless if they didn’t talk to each other. You guys should keep that in mind for the future” Gabriel then locked eyes with Castiel, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Castiel, son… you’re talented, and you have this je-ne-sais-quoi that is comforting and loving. I’m sure there’s no better person to take over Balthazar’s business than you. I will have no regret sending you back there, because I know your skills will be put to good use there”

Dean and Castiel shared knowing looks, and both men had the decency to blush when they realised that Gabriel had heard the entirety of their conversation. The two of them shuffled awkwardly from side to side, avoiding eye-contact once again. Gabriel merely rolled his eyes.

Chuckleheads, Gabriel thought to himself.

[ohalemalia]

Daily Dose -  Part 10 (S.M. Imagine)

Pairing: Scott McCall x Sick! Reader Warnings: vomit, death talk, angst, not proofread, scott mccall hurting A\N: we’re down to the wire here folks, we’re almost done with dd. ): seeing that made me a lil sad Word Count:  1869

��Let’s do something.”

“We are doing something.”

By that, I meant we were sitting on Scott’s couch, trying to decide what to watch on Netflix. I found myself tucked under the warmth of Scott’s arm, my legs curled up under me. There was a blanket over the two of us, giving some extra heat. The worst of the season hadn’t even hit yet, but I found myself getting cold a lot. Good thing Scott was like my own personal heater. I wasn’t sure what to call us at this point. It felt weird to say Scott was my boyfriend, but at this point was it far from the truth? We kissed. We cuddled. There was a long list of things I would do for him (take that however you want).

I found myself gradually moving back into the McCall household, but Melissa didn’t know about our kinda-almost-dating status. Neither did my parents. And I don’t think either of them would be happy. It’s one thing if you’re dating, but it’s another if you’re two teenagers living in the same house right next door to each other. I don’t think my dad would be too thrilled about that. We weren’t hiding it, but we weren’t exactly making out on kitchen counters for Melissa to see.

“No,” Scott shifted his position on the couch so he was facing me, “I mean let’s go out. Like a date.”

My thumb hovered over the OK button on the remote. I moved my thumb over, muted the TV and twisted my body to look at Scott, “A what?”

“A...a date?” Scott looked just as confused as much, but it was an endearing obliviousness.

“Uh…” I laughed. I wrapped a loose red thread from the blanket around my index finger and pulled at it. The thread snapped free, “I don’t know about that.”

Scott leaned to one side and dug in his back pocket.

“Scott? What are you--”

Scott pulled out a folded sheet of notebook paper. I could tell exactly what it was because of the purple gel pen bleeding through. I threw my head back and let out a laugh, “Seriously? Why are you still carrying that?”

“Because,” Scott leaned over and grabbed a pen off the end table, “We have to update it.”

“Or we could just throw it away,” I leaned over to try to pluck the list out of his hand. Scott was quicker than me and held the paper just out of reach.

“Scott! Give it here!” “Number one, a friend’s house,” Scott crossed out an item on the list,  “Done. Number two, a sleepover, also done. Fatburger or any place with real food and a diner I guess are both done. In the arms of someone I love--”

“Okay now I’m really going to--” I tried to grab the paper from behind Scott’s head, but again, he moved it out of the way. I threw my leg over his lap and sat down on his legs. I reached for the paper again but Scott moved it to the other hand with a wicked grin.

“Scott!”

Scott’s free arm went around my waist and the next thing I knew we were spinning. With a scream, I landed on my back and sank into the couch cushions. Scott hovered over me, keeping my arms pinned above my head.

I cocked an eyebrow, “Werewolf perk?”

Scott shrugged, “Lacrosse perk.”

Two could play it that game. There was no way I was winning this one with strength, so I had to rely on a different tactic. I lifted my pelvis up and wrapped my legs around Scott’s waist. When Scott looked down to see what I was doing, I craned my neck up and planted my lips onto his. Scott deepened the kiss but didn’t let my hands go.

“Hello? Is anyone--oh, my god.”

The loud smack of Scott and I’s lips breaking apart was loud enough to fill the awkward silence left in the air. Melissa stood at the foot of the couch, in her pink scrubs, her purse still on her shoulder and her mouth open in absolute shock.

“Mom--”

“Melissa--”

“So this,” Melissa gestured between the two of us, “This is what happens when I leave you two alone?”

“No!” I defended, “Not at all! N-no!”

Melissa crossed her arms and looked between the two of us, waiting for an explanation.

“I mean,” Scott rubbed the back of his neck, “Not until recently.”

“Scott!” I hissed at him.

“How recently?” Melissa demanded to know.

“Um,” I went back in my head, “Two weeks?”

Scott nodded, “Something like that.”

Melissa looked up and shook her head, “Unbelievable. I can’t believe--”

I was sure Melissa was going to kick me out. I had ruined everything. I stood up, figuring the next thing she would do is pack my bags and throw me out, “Melissa, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean--”

Melissa held a hand up and I knew that as the universal sign to shut up. So, I clamped my mouth shut. Melissa’s eyes were shut, her hands were pressed together and held in front of her mouth, “I just can’t believe it took you this long. And two weeks to tell me, god, I mean I’m all for a slow burn but Jesus, if you burned any slower the fire would’ve been out by now.”

Scott looked just as shocked as I felt on the inside, “Mom.”

“What?” Melissa shrugged as she headed towards the stairs, “I’m just telling the truth. Decide what you want for dinner, I’m gonna go take a long nap.”

Once we heard Melissa’s door close upstairs, I collapsed on the couch with my face in my hands. Scott burst out into boisterous laughter.

“It’s not funny, Scott,” I groaned, “I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life.”

“It’s fine, it could’ve been worse,” Scott shrugged, “A lot worse.”

And he was right. It could’ve been worse.

It got a whole lot worse.

I held my arms out to steady myself as I got off of Scott’s bike. Scott placed his arm under my elbow, keeping me from toppling over, “You okay?”

I nodded, though that was far from the truth. I figured (more like hoped) that I was just tired because it was finals season. But the stress of finals didn’t explain the heaviness in my body, the swelling of my ankles and the fact I needed to pee at least three times during each class.

But yeah, finals. That was it.

I didn’t want Scott to worry. I knew it was going to pass eventually, I just had to wait it out.

I mustered up a smile, “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Scott frowned but didn’t prod any further.

It didn’t pass. Not this time.

Instead, I woke up at 1:23 AM feeling like someone was jabbing a hot poker through my sides. The pain burned through my entire abdomen. It paralyzed me and trapped me in my bed. Even the slightest movement sent white-hot pain radiating through my body. Hot tears leaked down my cheeks as I stared up at the ceiling, willing the pain to go away.

Please, please don’t do this.

I was frozen on my back. The longer I laid there, the worse I felt. I felt nausea build up in my stomach and I knew that if I threw up I wouldn’t be able to move. I would probably choke on my vomit and die. But I couldn’t move. My body shut down, it was as if my head was somewhere else while my body had been tossed into a bonfire.

I managed to turn my head to the side before dinner came right back up. I sobbed. By the looks of it, something was horribly, horribly, wrong.

“Sc-Scott,” I called out, weakly hoping he would hear me, “Scott!”

Time moved way too slow. I threw up again and at this point, there was nowhere for it to go so I was basically laying in a pool of my own upchuck. My crying made my body shake, my body shaking made pain rip through me, and the pain ripping through me made me cry harder. I was sure I was going to die here. Melissa and Scott wouldn’t find me til the morning. Scott would come in my room, that grin on his face and try to wake me up. Then he would realise something was awfully wrong. His body would collapse. He’d shake me and beg for me to wake up, but it would be too late. It would be too much. Too much like Allison.

“Scott!” I cried out, “Sc-Scott, help! Help me! Me-Melissa? Please! So-someone!”

I heard quick and heavy footsteps in the hall. The hall light flicked on and there stood a shadow in my doorway.

“Y/N!” Scott rushed to my side, dread all over his face, “Y/N, what’s wrong, what happened?” I tried to shake my head, “I ca-can’t move. Everything hurts, I can’t move.”

Scott frantically looked around, his hands hovering over my body, trying to decide how he could help.

“Okay, Y/N, what should I--”

I didn’t hear what he said because I hurled again.

And again.

And again.

“Mom!” I had never heard so much fear in Scott’s voice, “Mom, help!”

I wanted to reach for him, to comfort him and tell him everything was okay. That this would pass. But I had never felt anything like this before. This was new territory I didn’t recognise. I couldn’t tell where I was, let alone if I would make it out of here.

“Scott,” I wasn’t sure if Melissa would get here in time, “Scott, something’s wrong.”

“I know,” Scott’s hand brushed over my forehead and down the back of my head, “I know, I know, I know. Mom! Mom!”

Scott was looking towards the door, but my eyes never left him. I wanted to remember every detail about him. Sound started to dull until Scott’s shouts were muffled together.

“Scott,” I tried to get his attention. My eyelids were getting too heavy to keep open.

“No, no, no, Y/N,” I felt Scott’s hands on either side of my face and gently patted my cheeks, trying to keep me away, “Hey, Y/N, please, stay with me, baby, please.”

“Scott,” Scott was blurry through my tears, “Scott, I’m scared.”

“It’s okay,” Scott pressed his lips to my forehead as if that could save me from my fate, “It’s okay, I’m right here. I’m right here.”

“I don’t want to die,” The weight of my words hung heavy in the air. It was the first time I had ever said it out loud. I put on this front that I was okay with my eventual death, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready to let go, “I don’t want to die, please, don’t let me die, I don’t want to go, Scott, please, I don’t want to die, I’m scared.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Scott was trying to stay strong but I heard his voice break, “I got you. I got you.”

Those words sucked me into a dark tunnel I couldn’t outrun.

“I got you.”

<< Previous || Next >>

 @honeymoonavenuue @janeschwartz1 @captainam-erika-trash @pinkwinds If you'd like to be tagged, send me an ask!

[pherryt]

#8, 18, 31, and 41

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?I was about to say Supernatural was my latest fandom, but it's just my biggest, most persevering fandom (My husband, btw, who first turned on netflix and said "Watch this. Yeah, I know you don't like horror. Watch it anyway. I promise you'll like it.")

so i think the correct answer would have to be Venom - and it's @feathers-and-cigarettes fault cause he talked up the movie so much I had to go watch it, and then i fell in love, and he's been spoon feeding me bits and pieces of the comic stuff here and there too

18. What ship have you written the most about?

probably destiel, to be honest. *does a quick check just for Shits and giggles*

Okay, so, out of my top 10 most used relationship tags on A03 - the top tag (Destiel) has 96 instances, and all the others combined come to 79. 

Yeaaaaaah. Destiel it is.

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

I can't possibly pull receipts right now - I wouldn't even know where to look. Some of have been for my writing in general, some have been for specific stories, some have been in comments, others reblogs, or even PMS

but I've had other writers tell me how well my dialogue flows, others tell me how strong a certain character voice is, and those are definitely heartening to hear.

I've had a few readers say something along the lines of "This was great! I just finished and I'm about to re-read it" which is mindboggling.

any time i see my fic rec'd i'm absolutely tickled pink.

i love the short and sweet comments, the in depth comments. the comments on a long fic that only come at the end because they were so engrossed they couldn't put it down, or the commenters who manage to somehow comment on every chapter - I find all those things so awesome.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I tend to start and finish stories in one sitting if I can - which is what makes reading longer fics more difficult for me. I love ‘em and I don’t want to put them down, even if i have to, so I actually LIKE reading WIPS because it helps me control myself. That means, my current reading list is full of WIPS:

manage me (i'm a mess) by technically_direct

Venom, symbrock, 17+ chapters, 76k+ words, Mature (Funny as hell!)

SummaryThe thing about Eddie, right, is that he's kinda an enormous fuckup. And it's starting to catch up to him a bit.

For real, the BEST thing to happen in those six months after he and Anne broke up was getting an alien parasite, and that was accounting for the whole 'it was eating his organs' thing.

Or Else by @jupiterjames

Supernatural, Destiel, sabriel, 15+ chapters, 78k+ words, Explicit (slow burn)

SummaryIn the years following his mother's death in a house fire, Dean Winchester begins to develop OCD as a way to cope with the loss. After more than a decade without a diagnosis, his symptoms grow more severe. And after the sudden death of John Winchester, Dean is left to cope by himself and Sam is forced to quit his undergrad in order to care for him. Ashamed of his shut-in life, and guilty that his little brother has become his caretaker at the expense of everything else, Dean seeks out therapy, and five years later, is holding down a full time job, can freely visit his favorite coffee shop to get a daily dose of Castiel, the (hot) hippie owner, and Sam is now free to return to school.

Sam Winchester would do anything for his brother, but he is more than thrilled to finally be returning to school, even if he is a 23 year-old sophomore. It also helps that a certain smart mouthed TA is helping him get back into the groove. Of course, getting a good read on Gabriel is just about as easy as advanced Chemistry, and he's not so great at that, either. As the semester goes on, he gets the distinct impression that his orderly life is about to get messy.

Crossing Lines by Hungrydean

Supernatural, Destiel, Saileen, 7+ chapters, 15k + words, Explicit

summaryHighly renowned therapist Dean Winchester knows how to help just about everyone. He's young yet experienced; the perfect blend of understanding his clients and knowing his job.

C. Novak is cheeky, bold, and obnoxious- but Dean does not shy away easily. Castiel Novak is a challenge, one Dean is determined to win. But Dean soon learns that Castiel is different from his other clients in more ways than he expected.

Pieced Together (part 2 of A Broken World) by mishaminion69 and sydkn3e

Supernatural, Destiel, Saileen, A/B/O, 15+ chapters, 154k+ words, Explicit

SummaryDean's equally exciting and terrifying news are forced to take a backseat for Castiel as he struggles to find the Omega ring for which his Omega's abuser was recruiting. While Cas is away, Dean grows closer to Eileen- also expecting her first pup- and her Alpha mate, Sam, which gives him insight into his foggy past and a glimpse into his future.

The increasing time apart proves difficult for both Dean and Castiel, leading way to feelings of inadequacy for Dean and discomfort in his rapidly changing body. Meanwhile, Cas fears that spending so much time in his wolf form while searching for the imprisoned Omegas will drain away his humanity...and ultimately lose him his mate.

Thursday's Angel by @unforth

Supernatural, Destiel, 14+ chapters, 65k + words, Explicit, Murder Husband

Summary:Castiel, angel of the Lord, is at peace with the mission assigned him by God almighty. His job - no, his purpose, the meaning of his existence - is to slay demons. He can see them, their eyes blackened by the evil they’ve done, their souls corrupted beyond hope of salvation, and when he finds one, he sends them to hell. Yes, the work is hard, the price to himself steep, but God has commanded it, and it’s better that Castiel bear the stain of murder than some poor mortal suffer because Castiel wasn’t strong enough to do what must be done.

And tonight’s demon - a murderer at least twice over, confirmed by Castiel's own eyes - is no different, no matter how fair his visage appears when not warped by sin.

Castiel will do his duty, as he always has, and when the deed is done - and no sooner - he’ll pray for the souls of the fallen, and for the forgiveness Castiel knows God will not - cannot - grant.

*Please see author's note for more information (this is dark but it's not as dark as it seems and I've added some explanatory information there)*

[destielthedeathofme]

Shattering Glass

Prompt: Its like a business thing with Dean as Castiel's assistant.

Tags/Genre: CEO Cas, PA Dean, Fluff, Oneshot, Cliche, Not 50 Shades Of Gray, I hope,

Warnings: I cuss like a sailor bitches

Summary: Dean didn't ever think this would happen.

A/n: This might be a two shot.

~♡~

Dean winced as his head landed with a thud on the keyboard. Eyes fluttering open at the sudden movement, that was probably the closest to sleep he'd been in ages.

10:00

It was 10 fucking PM and his boss hadn't left the office yet, meaning Dean couldn't either. An unspoken rule within their relationship. Glancing around the empty room Dean sighed, everyone had gone home but him. Typical.

Castiel Novak CEO of Garrison Enterprises wasn't known for his kindness rather his temper. Dean could remember the way he practically shrunk during the interview due to Castiel's piercing gaze. The fact that his boss was practically the hottest person in the business industry didn't help either. Dean was used to interviews with cranky old men well past 40, but Castiel was as young as ever. Dean still didn't know if that was a good thing yet. Hair damp from a shower and suit fitted to perfection, the man had sat in perfect posture eyeing Dean like he was some sort of meal. Despite his ogling and stuttering,somehow, he still managed to get the job. Dean hoped to get to know Castiel better, but he hadn't even achieved the first name basis after over a month of working for him. At least he knew how the guy liked his coffee, that had to count for something right? Along with a crush that's all that Dean's gotten from this job. He was fresh out of corny jokes to make, the closest he'd gotten was Castiel's lips curving upward, that shut down very quickly. None of his smirks or winks were working on Castiel Novak and he was not happy. But he was done with the bullshit, Dean had a life damnit. One that consisted of not much more than Baby, booze and his brother. But it was still a life and one that Dean intended on living.

Mustering up all the courage he had, Dean marched down to his boss's office, determined to actually be able to get at least 5 hours of sleep tonight. Which would be a blessing really.

Dean opened the door, suddenly regretting the amount of force he put into that because the door banged a little too loudly for his sleep deprived ears.

Castiel had been hunched over a stack of papers that Dean debated putting through as shredder but nonetheless refrained. But now, his eyes were fixed on Dean, confusion clouding his face. Tie loosened, hair astray he looked perfect somehow. Just the perfect bachelor CEO that Times needed. Sam had fangirled so hard when he found out, Dean debated on crushing his dreams and telling Sam that the guy was an asshole but he decided against it.

"Dean, what are you-"

"I'm leaving."

"Pardon?"

Dean grit his teeth and smiled tightly ,"You know what? I'll explain this the way I would your schedule for the day because that's the language you business freaks speak in. It's 10 PM, I live almost and hour away. If I get home at 11, I'll be in bed by 12. And that gives me 6 hours of sleep before I have to haul my ass to this hell. So please let me go, because I'm in need of at least 5 hours of sleep."

Dean almost ran out of the room, wondering if he would get fired or not. That was the most they've conversed after the interview, Castiel was more of a email guy. But instead of the pure I'm-going-to-throw-a-shit-fit face, one he was accustomed to Castiel gave him an amused look. He eyed the glass surrounding him, if he made a run for it, Dean would probably still make it.

"I was going to ask what you're doing here? Everyone else left."

Dean stared at him in shock, that wasn't what he prepared himself for. He expected raging fury, getting fired, possibly some shattering of expensive stuff that his billionaire boss didn't need.

*Flashback to Christmas*

Dean bounced his way into his cubicle, not even caring that he was 15 minutes late to work, it was freaking 1 day away from Christmas. He had the fucking right. It was bad enough that he was being forced to work, but if his boss showed even a bit of an attitude Dean would so quit. He hoped that Castiel would have the Christmas Spirit.

Dean busied himself in emails when he realized that he'd forgotten to get Castiel coffee. Shit, he was so screwed.

Dean bolted out of his chair and ran to the small coffe shop right around the corner and ordered whatever dose of caffeine he could find. Peppermint Mocha? Whatever as long as his boss had the daily dose of caffeine he needed, Dean would be safe, right?

Speed walking to Castiel's office, Dean burst into the room, "I'm so sorry Cas, I completely forgot about your coffee."

Castiel was not in a good mood. He could tell by the cloud of emotions on his face, Dean memorized every expression on Castiel's face. The slight jut of his chin, or the way his eyebrows furrowed. Hell, he could tell by the sound of his footsteps if Cas was in a good mood or not.

Dean set the coffee down slowly, not realizing his mistake.

"What did you call me?"

"Uh Cas?" Dean had overheard Castiel's much more pleasurable brother call him Cassie and he assumed Cas was alright. It was, wasn't it?

"It's Mr. Novak to you, I'm your boss."

So much for the Christmas Spirit, the guy must be the grinch himself. Nah, he's too good looking, argued Dean's mind which he begrudgingly agreed to.

Dean almost fucking resigned right then and there, what was the guy's problem? Most people called their bosses' by their first name right?

Castiel drank the coffee, which he then spewed all over the office.

"What the hell is this?"

"Peppermint Mocha?" Dean said weakly.

"Get the fuck out, and type up the rest of the manuscripts while you're at it."

"Ok." Dean had to bite his tongue from giving the asshole a piece of his mind.

He almost cried, there was at least 60 copies left, he'd be here till Christmas day. But like a savior, Charlie helped him through it, and he smirked up at Cas before popping his head through the door and saying,"I'm done bye!"

Dean however heard a lot of shattering that day, needless to say he didn't ever dare repeat any of the things he did that day. He never called Castiel, Cas and only addressed him as boss, which thankfully he didn't mind. And Dean wouldn't even go within a 5 mile radius of Peppermint Mocha.

*end of flashback*

"Balthazar said- He said that I can only leave when you do!" Dean said incredulously. Everyone at the office told him that, some cruel prank probably now that he thinks of it.

Castiel let out a small chuckle, a sound Dean was most definitely not accustomed to. Dean stood there gaping like a fish. Was this the same man who fired people with the snap of his fingers. The same one who stormed out of meetings? Holy shit, Dean had to be dreaming.

"You know what, let me drop you home, it's the least I can do." Castiel said gathering his things and getting up.

Dean stumbled a bit but muttered out a yes, partly because he didnt have a ride. On a side note, Dean Winchetser never thought he would have to say that in his life ever, him not having a ride, absolute bullshit. But Baby was in need of some fine tuning and working out her kinks soothed Dean, especially after grueling work hours. And partly because he was still too dazed to refuse.

Within moments they were in Castiel's silver Lexus, Dean still not over the past 15 minutes of his life. He half expected there to be a driver, but Cas drove himself which surprised Dean.

"Did you eat?"

"Hm?"

"I asked if you had eaten anything? It's awfully late, why don't I buy you dinner?"

Dean snapped himself out of whatever this was and ignored the stabbing pain his stomach from hunger. He could hardly believe he was in Castiel Novak's car, much less being invited to dinner by him.

"No I'm good."

"Dean, I insist, you didn't eat lunch either." Castiel gave him a meaningful glance.

How the hell did he know that?

"No, really, I had a s-salad, yeah I had a salad."

He did not eat a fucking salad. Rabbit food ain't his cup of tea. But it was the only food that came to his mind then, so he used it for his horrible lie.

"I thought you hated salads."

How did he know that too? What the fuck was this guy a stalker? Maybe he should have done more research than scouring through tabloids on his boss. For starters, Castiel was fucking bipolar. And actually cared? Since when did he care? Not for the past month and a half alright. But Dean cared. Probably too much, but he made sure Castiel ate for the past month, refusing for him to even miss a meal or meeting.

Dean realized they were pulling up to a restaraunt much too late, as Castiel already parked the car. He wanted to protest, but his stomach disagreed growling loudly. Dean gave Castiel a sheepish look as Castiel glared at him.

The restaurant had the you'd-probably-go-into-debt-if-you-ate-here vibe, but Dean supposed that was normal for a billionaire. He wondered if he'd even managed to grab his wallet, in his dazed state.

The place was dim lit and was practically empty, probably because it was close to 11 and the people who could actually afford to eat here, were tucked into bed. Silver spoon in their mouths, Dean thought bitterly. He was anything but rich, he grew up far worse than he was now though. So Dean was grateful for the little things, the most expensive thing he owned being Baby. But he was content, he had a job, a roof over his head, and food on his table. And most importantly, Dean could pay for Sam's school. He didn't care if he had to skip a meal, as long as Sammy was in school. But his landlord seemed intent in kicking him out, stating that he was out at odd hours and made up a bunch of crap about his rent. Whatever, what's the worst that could happen?

Castiel began ordering and Dean wondered why the staff looked so nervous. Other than the flirty glances from waitresses, everyone else looked like they were going to start crying any moment.

Dean settled on a good old fashioned steak while Cas ordered something that required much to many brain cells and syllables for him to comprehend.

He was surprised at how natural it all felt, just having dinner with Cas, even though situation was anything but. If anyone told Dean this was going to happen an hour ago, Dean would have laughed and thrown the person into a mental hospital.

Dean groaned in satisfaction as he tasted the meatloaf, which was cooked amazingly. He was starving, and this meatloaf tasted like heaven. But he didn't miss the weird look Cas gave him, like Dean was doing something wrong. He flushed at Castiel's eyes that were burning his soul at the moment, he could never get used to those eyes. It's the eyes. They're the reason why Dean's smitten. As if he wasn't attractive enough, he managed to have the bluest eyes in the universe. After Dean finished up his meal, Castiel and him walked out of the restaraunt.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did everyone there look like they're going to have a panic attack, and why didn't you pay?"

"Oh sweetheart, I own the restaraunt."

Dean flushed once again in embarrassment, of course he did. He didn't flush because of the "sweetheart" part, not at all.

"Oh."

Castiel let out a chuckle, which Dean was tempted to record because no one would believe him if they said that Castiel Novak was capable of anything more than a tight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Dean was soon curled up in the Lexus, tempted to fall asleep, but wouldn't allow himself to. Castiel thankfully knew the way to Dean's apartment, something he'd look more into when he wasn't drowsy. And if he had a problem with the neighborhood that Dean lived in, Cas didn't show it. He felt someone shaking him as soon as he closed his eyes, which was only for a minute.

"We're here."

Dean fumbled for his keys before realizing that he didn't have them with him, his keys forgotten at his office. Add a landlord that already hated Dean for not paying the rent on time to the mix, he had no way of getting into his apartment. Dean glanced back at Castiel's car which didn't move from it's spot, as if he was waiting for Dean to go in. Shit. How would he play this off? He could crash at Bobby's but they lived much too far away for Dean to walk there, he suddenly felt the lack of Baby in his life overwhelming. Dean silently vowed to finish working in her tomorrow.

Dean noticed the little yellow card on his door and read the note cursing at his shitty landlord. He had to pay the rent by tomorrow, even though he was supposed to have a week left. He couldn't make that kind of money in a week. He cursed at himself too, for choosing such a lavish apartment when he could've settled for much less.

Cas got out of his car and walked to Dean his face showing a hint of worry,

"Why aren't you going in?"

"I don't have my keys and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get kicked out of here ."

"Ah, I see."

Dean cringed at the situation he was in. There was no way out other than asking Castiel for help again. Oh, if he just refused the ride.

"You could stay with me."

"What?"

"You could stay with me for as long as you need, till you're back on your feet again."

[colliecan]

kinda a happy post

y’know what, rehab did do some good things for me, i saw a nutritionist there n that helped a good deal w ED stuff, i haven’t had a lot of issues since, especially considering how bad i was getting right before i went there; i got some time to think about harm reduction and like contemplate my relationship to drugs, n like i only drank a few times since i got back, and that was only bc i didn’t have weed, but i’ve been not partaking because i do make myself sick when i drink n would rather manage a lil extra money than manage my long and short term health. i haven’t thrown up in my sleep since, i haven’t had some stupid high heart rate and blood pressure, i haven’t had my body give out, and i don’t hide my usage out of shame, i use way more reasonable doses and care about my tolerance (like. drinks per night went from ~20 -> 8 on the rare occasions i have drank, and edibles per day went from ~50mg -> 10-30mg. i feel like a big part of that is realizing just how much i could slow down and still feel ok, esp w drinking bc i used to pound like 8 shots in 10min on a (freshly) empty stomach to start the night bc i wanted it to hit as quick as possible...), i stopped doing stupid shit i regretted bc again i don’t feel like i have to hide it anymore; i SH’d in rehab but i barely barely barely have since, i don’t feel like it’s useful since i’m not trying to avoid coping methods i prefer and i’m not shaming myself over my coping strategies n i’m getting better at not worrying abt other ppls expectations that i’m not fulfilling. def not to say everything’s dandy, i’m still miserable most the time, and i lost a lot of the functioning that i had in rehab based on it’s structure like regular cooking n a daily routine n way more human interaction n not having to worry abt family n having supportive friends irl n going outside regularly n being able to grocery shop etc etc, but i’m not actively harming/killing myself in my attempts to cope so that’s something right? even though i barely drink now i still choose to claim the title girlalcoholic bc i’m quirky and i feel like it says more about me lol. also i earned it fair n square. i barely remember this thought but it comforts me sometimes to think abt how without a lot of acclimation someone plopped in my shoes would kermit real quick, so it’s like i Am kinda tough in going through this even though it’s not something to brag about and i’d much rather Not(‘ve). one thing that i do miss is how much i was able to commiserate with fellow addicts online, but that’s changed mainly bc social anxiety reasons. also r/CA got privated so i can’t lurk there but i just looked n found an alkie meme subreddit n i forgot how relatable it is, i needed that

[ezilyamuzed]

Everyone Needs a Sam- Chapter 7

Series Masterlist

Summary: Two Sam’s in the Winchester family is better than one. 

Reader is Named Sam, or sometimes called Red, a nicknamed given by Dean. Sam Winchester is often referred to as Sammy. 

Warnings: Language. A little drama/fluff/angst. 

A/N: This is it! The end. What started out as a bit of comedic writing had quickly turned into something a little bit more. I have to warn you that this part is a little lengthier than others because I didn’t really want to see it go, but it had to stop at some point. Hope you have enjoyed it!  

As always comments and feedback are welcomed (GIVE ME LOVE). Any errors are completely my own because I am human. If you want a tag in anything pop into the ASK box. Thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Charlie followed closely behind Sam as he moved through the house that of course was sitting on the edge of town, looking pretty vacant and dilapidated. It was almost cliche that this would be where the witch or demon was hiding out. She held the gun he had given her tightly in her grasp while moving through. It was equipped with witch killing bullets, which of course was FREAKIN AWESOME! She kept a mental note to definitely add that to her hunter utility belt for later. She also had an angel blade tucked into her jacket that was sure to kill anything, well most of anything else if they had happened to be wrong about what was the source to the Freaky Friday situation between Red and Dean.

Sam was stealth like, moving gracefully from room to room. Charlie tried her best to channel her secret agent 007 self. They would probably had been able to cover more ground if they split up, but Sam insisted that she stayed behind him. That was so misogynistic of him, where she definitely saw the irritation that Red dealt with on a daily basis. She rolled her eyes as they approached a room with a closed door. She motioned to him that there was another door that could be seen from the hallway next to her. He nodded in approval for them to each take an entrance.

As Sam slowly opened up the door he was met with a grinning women sitting nonchalantly on a worn leather chair sipping wine from a glass while reading People Magazine.

“About time you showed up,” she looked up from her reading, while staring down the barrel of his gun. “Once I knew the Winchesters were in town, I knew it would only be a matter of time before you caught on.”

“What did you do to them?” he growled while holding his position.

Charlie could hear them through the door, but she did not want to make her presence known, not yet while Sam could possibly get her to reverse the spell that inflicted her friends. She leaned in closer keeping her hands on the sliding door to burst in at any moment like they do in the movies.

“Just giving out some justice,” she purred while standing from her spot. “That’s what I do. Rid the world of some mistakes, give some people a little dose of the things that they hate the most. You know, giving people a taste of their own medicine. I am what you call a Wish Granter. Everything that has happened has been a wish from someone. Your Sam wished that Dean would understand what it was like to be her, and I’m sure that is going perfectly right about now.”

“Turn them back.”

She squinted her eyes to him in confusion, almost like she was trying to read his thoughts.

“No,” she flatly replied. “That is not what you really want. You want her for yourself. You want her to love you. I could make that happen you know. Make Dean disappear for good. She could truly be yours.”

There was silence on the other side of the door. Charlie panicked at the lack of a quick response from Sam, where she burst through the door and shot of a bullet right into the back of the witch that was standing only a foot away from Sam. His eyes widened during the split second that the bullet was flying from the chamber, almost in a surprise.

“Charlie, she could have changed them back! She could have...” he yelled in anger, only to stop himself short in his sentence.

“Could have what Sam? Made Red yours forever? I heard the hesitation and I acted,” she snapped before pausing and letting out a deep sigh. “Look Castiel is already on the spell reversal, and as far as I am concerned that witch bitch was not going to just roll over easily. We will find a way to change them back. In the meantime, you really have to figure out what the heck is going on in that head of yours with what you are going to do.”

Sam hardened his face towards her, before briskly walking out the door. Charlie looked down at the body laying in the pool of blood on the floor and sighed heavily again. Witches sure could be evil bitches and this one was no different, although justice in the world did sound like a noble cause if she ever heard one.

_____________________________________________________

“Charlie...what is it?” you asked in confusion.

She let out a deep sigh while shifting her glance between you, Cas, and Dean’s widening eyes. She turned her gaze down to her feet while mumbling out the words she was holding back.

“Sam...well, he is kind of in love with Sam.”

“What?” you let out a little laugh while furrowing your eyebrows at her in confusion. She had to be joking.

“Sam, well...he kind of has this whole crush thing he has been working through,” she nervously replied. “I guess it's been going on for a little while and well, things got a little weird earlier when we took down the witch. There was a little hesitation perhaps when she said she could, um, grant his wish.”

“What wish…” you inquired before it dawned on you. “Oh…”

“Yeah, complicated does not seem to even cover what is going on here,” Charlie nodded slowly.

“I... I didn’t know,” Dean spoke up next to your side.

“Me either,” you breathed out as you reflected back on the last few months together. There was no clue at all to his feelings for you. Except for maybe that night he found you crying outside of the bar after Dean had royally pissed you off and he stayed by your side while you complained into the liquor bottle. Flashes of him giving you little sympathetic smiles and pulling you into his arms ran through your mind. It was true. Sam was in love with you.

“I have to go talk to him and sort this all out,” Dean said while moving towards the door. You grabbed his arm to stop him right before using a damp towel from earlier to rub the gunk off of your face.

“No, I should be the one,” you said while pushing past Dean, Castiel, and Charlie’s glances.

Sam was leaning against the Impala with an emotionless face. He didn’t even really flinch as he heard you walking towards him. Leaning on Baby next to him you let out a deep breath while gazing off into the distance with him.

“Strange day huh Sammy,” you commented while keeping your focus on the sun setting. You could see him nodding out of the corner of your eye. “Look, Sam. I’m not sure exactly what to do here or even say.”

“You don’t have to say anything there, Red,” he said in reply. “Dean is my brother, and I love him. He is lucky to have you in his life.”

“Sam…” you groaned while turning to face him and moving your hand to his face to look at you. “You are in my life too. Both of you. I don’t want anything to change and nothing really will.”

“That’s it Red,” he stated bluntly while pulling away from you. “Everything has changed, it has been for a while. This was just the push.”

“Sam,” you spoke softly before he cut you off, moving away from the car.

“I’ll be okay. Really. I’m going to go and take a walk,” he stated while pushing his hands deep into his pockets and trailing off along the road.

Your heart broke for him as you watched one of the men you had cared most about in this world saddened because of you. You never wanted this to happen, but it did. Your perfect little family you had created with the Winchester’s was now crumbling down around you. Not only that, but now the two brother’s relationship was now scorned because of you. You took in a deep breath before coming to the conclusion of what you had to do. You had to leave it all behind.

________________________________________________________

Sammy pushed himself into the hotel room a couple of hours later, making Dean stand straight up from his spot on the bed with Castiel and Charlie staring at him intently.

“Where is Red?” Dean blurted while looking behind his brother.

“What do you mean?” Sammy replied with a baffled look. “I left her back here hours ago.”

Dean pushed his way past him to the hotel room next door. He pounded on the door awaiting for her to answer, but there was no sound to be heard. Charlie pulled out the key and unlocked it as quick as she could before Dean burst through.

“Red!” he yelled while moving through the room to the bathroom. “Dammit Red! Sam! Samantha! Where is she?”

Charlie glanced down to the bed where a little note laid. She picked it up and read over the words as Dean swiftly met her side and grabbed it from her grasp.

I’m sorry. Goodbye. - Sam.

“She’s gone Dean,” she whispered. “Sam is gone for good.”

“There is no way that she could have written this,” he snarled through his teeth. “Something had to have taken her. We have to go and find her. They couldn’t have taken her far.”

“Sammy,” Charlie spoke up quickly stopping Dean from rushing out the door. “Did Red say something about leaving to you when she talked to you?”

“No she didn’t,” Sammy replied with some hesitation. “She did seem a little upset though before I left…”

“What did you say to her!” Dean exclaimed while staring intently toward is brother.

“She said that nothing would change, she didn’t want anything to change between all of us,” he sighed heavily. “I wasn’t thinking really, when I told her that it had. Dean...this is all my fault.”

Dean stood frozen in his place, wanting to punch his brother right in his face for making the girl he loved leave, but he knew deep down that he was feeling the guilt that Dean was also feeling. It was not all Sammy’s fault for making her leave, no it was his as well. He hadn’t even considered before that he was not the only one that had spent the last few months with her while developing feelings along the way. It's not like Sammy ever said anything or even hinted, but then again neither did he. Everything was swiftly changing now, two brother’s in love with the same girl, who was now gone because of it. One thing Dean knew for sure was that no matter what they had to find her again, if anything to make sure she was okay.

“We will find her Sammy,” Dean replied with confidence. “We will bring Red home, after that, whatever choice she makes will be her own. I don’t care what she decides to do, or even if she chooses to never speak to us again. You are my brother that I love. No girl will ever change that.”

Sammy smirked at his brother before replying. “I thought you always said no chick flick moments.”

“Yeah well when you spend a day as a chick, you start to appreciate them more,” Dean grinned while moving to embrace his brother in a hug. “Let’s go get our girl.”

______________________________________________________

You knew how to keep yourself from being found, it was almost instinctual the way you automatically ditched any trace the Winchesters could have used to find you. Moving from town to town, you would switch between different makes and models of vehicles until you made your way up to northern California.

You found a cheap apartment in a small town, and opted to work as a waitress for money while you figured out what your next move was. Hunting right now was out of the question, because anytime you found glancing at a possible case, the thought that both of them were looking at the same case would come into your mind. You couldn’t bring yourself to face them, not when you still felt guilty for putting a wedge in between them. How you had hurt Sam, by your actions. It wasn’t fair to him. It also wasn’t fair to Dean to just up and leave after everything, but he was strong. They both were. It would be no time at all that whatever you had with the two of them would be a distant memory in their minds.

“Hey Sam,” Karen yelled out from behind the waitress corner of the diner as you walked in through the back door for the beginning of your shift. “Thank God that you are finally here. We have been busy like crazy! The carnival down the road is bringing in all sorts of nutjobs!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot that started today,” you said while tieing your apron around your waist. “Who do we have tonight on the floor?”

“I’m here for about two more hours, then Liz comes in at about 7 because Todd told her she could come in later so she could take her kid,” she stated while punching in the orders on the computer screen.

“So that is like almost four hours that I am all by myself,” you turned up your nose. “Great.”

“I guess you have to pop out a rugrat to get away with murder around here with the boss man,” she said while turning quickly on her heels to leave.

“Yeah, guess so,” you mumbled while punching yourself in on the screen. This was going to be a long night. 

Surprisingly things went pretty smoothly for you during your shift, after so many years of having to be on your toes when things went to hell really quick during a hunt and having to improvise at the spur of the moment made dealing with snarky customers a breeze. A couple of times there would be bitchy women, screaming kids, or perverted men giving you their oh-so-original pick up lines, but you would just fake smile and continue on. There was a brief moment when things had died down that you were able to stop and breathe in the back room by the coolers as the sweat poured down your face.

“Hey,” Liz smiled while coming in finally for her shift. “Table 4 is looking for you.”

“Of course they are,” you said while moving past her to the dining area in utter exhaustion.

When you looked over, it was not the same young couple that had once been sitting there. No, it was Sam and Dean freakin Winchester sitting together watching your face drop. You suddenly became very self conscious that you looked like a complete train wreck, making you try to straighten yourself out as you approached them. You looked around for an excuse to ignore them, but all the other tables were empty or in the middle of eating and chatting. You slowly walked over, while keeping your eyes down. Telling yourself over and over to just breathe and pretend that maybe that wouldn’t notice it was you. It had been about 5 months now since you had left them, but they definitely did not forget you even though you had dyed your hair to change your appearance a bit.

“What can I get you two,” you stammered out while holding a death grip on your little notepad.

“Well how about coffee for both of us,  a salad for the moose, burger and pie for me,” Dean coyly replied. “And for you to come back home.”

“Dean...I,” you started to say before you heard the smash of a couple of plates hitting the kitchen floor. “I have to go.”

You ran back there where Chad and Liz were busy picking up the broken pieces. You knelt down to her side to help her.

“Hey I will get this,” you stated to her while making a small pile to sweep up. “I need you to take that table for me.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” she inquired in confusion. “They were hot, and you could use some fun for once.”

“Ain’t that the truth!” Chad laughed while walking back to the dishwashing station.

“I don’t really want to get into it,” you blushed away. “I just can’t talk to them right now.”

“Those aren’t the two guys that you used to live with is it?” she raised her voice while moving to stare out the little window separating the kitchen from the dining area. “Damn girl. I wouldn’t mind being torn between those two...with teeth.”

“It wasn’t like that and you know it,” you huffed back. On a drunken night you had told her a little bit about your past, but only a glimpse, saying that things had gotten complicated when they both developed feelings making things awkward, so you had to start over again. “I just... I can’t right now.”

“You’re good Sam,” she smiled. “When your last couple tables leave go ahead and take off if you need to.”

“Thanks Liz.”

The next hour you were either patiently waiting in the kitchen, helping Liz and the kitchen crew get food out, or checking on the last couple of tables you had. When you would walk out to the dining area, you could feel both the Winchester’s eyes burning on you. Sam tried to catch your attention a couple of times, but you ignored him.

Finally the last stragglers in your section had paid and left. It was a relief that they were gone, but now that you yourself was glancing out to the other diners, you noticed that Sam and Dean were now gone as well. You felt a little pang of disappointment that they had left so easily, mixed with a feeling of relief that you didn’t have to face them again.

Walking out the backdoor to go home, you were fumbling in your purse for your apartment keys when you heard that distinct deep voice speak in front of you.

“You going to at least talk to us Red?” Dean said while leaning against Baby next to his brother.

Looking at the two of them giving you saddened eyes with hardened facial features you let out a deep sigh. Although you wanted to just turn back around and go hid in the restraunts cooler, that was not the adult thing to do. You had to talk to them.

“I was busy,” you rolled your eyes while starting to move away from them. Sam blocked your front, and when you went to turn around to the other way Dean stepped in front of you.

“Busy for 5 months?” Sam asked while cocking up is eyebrow.

“We were worried about you,” Dean added while crossing his arms.

“I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself,” you snapped. “Now get out of my way before I kick your asses.”

“Not until you at least hear us out,” Sam chimed in.

You gave a sigh of defeat while muttering “fine” under your breath. You were too exhausted really to even try and fight them both, which was a challenge in iteslef on a good day. Sam moved next to Dean as they both took their turns in speaking to you while you tried to stand firmly where you stood.

“You didn’t even say anything before running away.”

“You didn’t even give us a chance to say anything.”

“Not cool Red,” Dean shook his head to you.

“We have had time, both of us to think about everything that had happened.”

“And we only were able to come up with one thing for certain.”

“And that would be?” you found yourself asking while popping up an eyebrow to them.

“We want you to come home,” they both replied in unison.

Sam reached out and grabbed your hand while giving you those damn puppy dog eyes.

“I’m sorry I acted like a child before,” he stated while glancing over at Dean. “We both did. We never really thought about anything but what we were feeling, not what you were, or even what you wanted.”

“We basically decided that we need our Sam back,” Dean added while grabbing your other hand. “Whatever else is your choice, we will respect it. No matter what we both love you, and only want what is best for you.”

“And what if working at a little diner and living in a shitty apartment is what is best for me,” you quipped while pulling your hands from theirs.

“Then we will leave,” Sam sighed. “You won’t have to see us again, but we wanted to know you were safe.”

Stepping back you crossed your arms, examining their anxiously awaiting faces. You couldn’t deny that a part of you missed them, missed the life of hunting with them by your side even when they were being jerks. The slight possibility things could really go back to what they once was, you had to take the chance.

“I have to pick up my last check tomorrow and there may be a few things to pack,” you smirked.

Both of the boys eyes grew as wide as the smiles on their faces while they wrapped their long arms around you in an embrace, squeezing the breath out of you like they were afraid you would change your mind at any second and run away again.

“Guys...guys,” you rasped. “I can’t breath. Let go.”

“Never,” they said while pulling away with the smiles still standing firmly planted on their lips.

“Let’s go home.”

__________________________________________________

True to their words not much had changed, well you couldn’t even really say that. It actually got better. While you would still spend endless nights with Sammy tucked away in lore for a case, Dean was there more often now to help while keeping his complaints to a minimum. Binge watching bad TV and movies, both guys were typically by your side, both equally commenting on what they considered your awful choices in entertainment. You would just laugh though on the rare occasions that they would become more engrossed in what was on the screen than you were. Even on hunts they would both allow you to actually stand as an equal, only stepping in on the slim occasion that you were near to becoming someone’s dinner.

Almost a year had gone by, and while you things had become perfectly back to a sense of normal, you had grown even closer to the eldest Winchester. Sam would often grin widely when he noticed the elongated glances coming from both of you to each other, once even telling you that you were both chickens and needed to just start dating already. Taking the chance, the two of you followed his advice and gave the whole relationship thing a shot. 

To your surprise, although you were now sharing a room with Dean, everything was still so natural between the three of you. Sammy had even started exclusively seeing a young curly haired girl in town that was on break from college. He played with the notion that maybe he would go back to school, which Dean and you only supported fully. That fall he was enrolled again to pursue a degree in law, leaving the bunker pretty quiet except for the noises that were made between you and Dean during the weekdays. On the weekends Sammy would return and jump on a case along with the two of you. “Staying in the family business” he called it.

The last two months you weren’t feeling quite like yourself. Dean’s delicious hamburgers now would sit like rocks in your stomach or make you nauseous at the sight. Your mood was also shifting a little more than usual, making you almost a constant nut job. Both boys informed you that while you weren’t feeling good, that they would do all the heavy lifting. What that basically turned into was the two of them scouring the library for answers towards your condition, although you had a sneaking suspicion you knew what it could be. The only person who you knew that could tell you for sure without having to get pee in a cup or have a needle pierce your skin was now on his way.

“Dude,” Sammy sighed heavily while dropping the leather bound book to the table. “It has to be a spell of some kind. Nothing in any of these books is telling us anything.”

“Keep looking Sammy,” Dean firmly demanded. “We have to figure out what is wrong with her before it gets worse.”

“Before what gets worse?” Cas asked in puzzlement as he swooshed into the room. You entered from the other side about the same time, meeting the empathetic blue eyes of friendly angel. “I see Sam’s pregnancy is progressing as scheduled.”

Dean glared at his brother frightened and shocked while trying to find words to say. He hadn’t even noticed that you had entered the room. Sammy held up his hands in defense.

“It’s not this Sam he is talking about.”

Dean’s eyes blew wide open as he jumped up and flew through the last couple of months on the little calendar that they used to mark when your visitor would come, so they knew when to expect the craziness to come. With everything going on, they had forgotten to even consider that was a possibility.

“You were supposed to keep track of this shit!” he yelled to Sammy.

“Me?” Sammy laughed while giving you a wink. “I’m not the Sam you are sleeping with.”

“That would be a very odd situation,” Cas stated bluntly making you snicker. 

“It’s a joke Cas,” you replied while rolling your eyes and moving further into the room. “So I guess its true huh? I’m pregnant.”

“About 3 months along,” Cas confirmed. “It is a boy.”

“A...a boy?” Dean gulped while standing frozen. “I’m having a son?”

“Who said it’s yours?” you grinned while crossing your arms.

Cas furrowed his eyes towards Dean before blurting out the words that made you laugh even harder. 

“You are having regular coitus with Sam, aren’t you Dean?”

Dean rolled his eyes before he raced over, picked you up and spun you around in excitement. Yelling “I’m a father” over and over again. The sudden movement made you smack him to put you down as you felt your stomach starting to get queasy again.

“Oh, sorry,” he said while putting you down to the floor. “I’m just so freaking excited. You have no idea.”

“Really? Not scared? Want to run away and hide or anything like that?” you asked in hesitation.

“HELL NO! You will never get rid of me now!” he beamed in excitement.

“No more hunting,” Sammy spoke up while standing up to give you a congratulatory hug. “You need to keep you and my nephew safe.”

“Yeah, but with his Uncle Sam watching out, I know he will always be in good hands,” you smiled back. You heard Dean loudly clearing out his throat behind you. “Oh, and him too.”

“So what are you going to call the little miracle?” Cas asked with a pleasant smile on his face.

“I think we should name him after someone who is always there for you when times get tough and who will never let you down,” you smiled again in reply. “After his uncle Sam, because everyone in this world needs a Sam by their side.”

Dean reached over and pulled you and his brother close to him tightly with a beaming smile.

 “I know I will always need mine.”

Tags:  @waywardbaby @snffbeebee@curly-haired-disaster @waywardnerd67 @dean-winchesters-bacon@jaylarkson @ladywinchester1967 @hobby27 @wildefire@saltandburn-ilovesamwinchester @hobby27

[primordialsoundmeditation]

If you get a diagnosis that is not what you want to hear, the tendency is to say, “Oh, my god! How did I get so far away from something I want so much?” And we say, it isn’t big like that at all — it’s just a series of little things. It is the, “I could choose this thought which feels good, or this thought which doesn’t feel so good. But I’ve developed a pattern for what doesn’t feel good. And so, it is the daily dose of not being in the receiving mode that keeps me not in the receiving mode.” And that’s all that it is!

Excerpted from San Rafael, CA on 3/24/01

Our Love,

Esther

(and Abraham and Jerry)

[fyrapartnersearch]

Seeking Literate, Active, and Dedicated Partners

Hello, you can call me Cas! I'm in my 20s, a student, and a proud cat mom. I write multiple paragraphs/novella style (200-500+ words). I love to write detailed descriptions and delve into a character’s head/emotions as well as surroundings. I compare it to writing a novel together. I understand if the scene doesn’t have alot going on and therefore requires less. I adore having long, thoughtful replies where we truly immerse ourselves in the world. I'm hoping to find a partner whose as enthusiastic about the plot and writing as I am. When I get invested in a story, it’s 100% dedication. Getting a reply is the highlight of my day. I'm a big fan of romance and using face claims. I’m the type to make pinterest boards, spam you with gifs, headcanons, and send you songs that remind me of our characters and/or ship. I'll get excited if we come up with a great plot idea or if our characters are being cute or going to get into trouble. I live for this kind of stuff honestly. Last but not least I only do MxF and don’t double, but I’m more than happy to write side characters of either gender to help move the story along. I'd prefer female authors writing male characters but male writers are fine too. Desperately Searching For - 21+ partners - For you to have an excellent grasp of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Both in character and out of character. (Literate to advanced writers only, please. I'm not looking for newbies). - Plot before smut. While mature themes will be in my plots, and are even encouraged, there needs to be a good chemistry between our characters. I like to have a good mix of plot and smut, along with doses of angst and fluff. - For you to write as an older male. I'm a sucker for the gruff and tough men who secretly have a soft heart. - The more description, the better! I'm looking for someone can write as much as me (2 to 4 paragraphs or more) and really bring the story to life. I lose interest if I'm the only one that's invested/enthusiastic or coming up with plot ideas. - The use of real life face claims and joining me in the wonderful world of ship/character development isn't a requirement but I'd sure be delighted if we were on the same page in this regard. (I won't use anime faces, only art if you're uncomfortable with real life) - Someone who won't leave without warning or explanation after sending the first post. I'm looking for the long term here, and I have been greatly saddened by how many partners have left me high and dry recently. If you've made it this far, thank you! You won't be disappointed in writing with me. I tend to be online daily and I'd like it if you were too. Please let me know if you're going to be inactive, long days/weeks of silence make me nervous. Below are genres and pairings I love. Feel free to combine two or more and I’m sure we can come up with something great! Genres: - anything mafia related - crimes in remote locations - small towns and supernatural happenings - rom-com inspired plots (the decoy bride, you’ve got mail, while you were sleeping, practical magic) - post apocalyptic/dystopia - supernatural/modern fantasy (werewolf mates, monster x hunter, shapeshifters, a/b/o dynamic and everything that comes with it) - southern/mid western/ gothic - murder mystery (small town or big city) - western inspired - modern/dark fairy tale retellings - sci-fi/cyberpunk - little coastal towns or little towns in the mountains - emotionally charged/dark and gritty - superpowers/gifted - unresolved sexual tension/slow burn - mythology (modern / hades x persephone) - redemption - action - fake dating Pairings: - age gaps - enemies to lovers - cop x criminal - doctor x patient - friends turned lovers/pining - grumpy x sunshine - the broken man x the woman that becomes his light - fbi agents/cop partners - dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman - reunited old lovers and/or friends - boss x employee - neighbors - firefighter/cop x victim - mentor x mentee - spies - hurt/comfort - height differences - pet names - lady and the tramp esque - creature x human Plot Ideas: (these are just suggestions and if you have other ideas I'd like to hear them) 1. age gap + height difference + modern supernatural + werewolf x human + dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman A mentor x mentee pairing where the mentee has been a victim of some sorts and that's why they’re taken under the wing of the mentor. I'm picturing a guy capable of towering over most men and also knocking most men out, but with a soft spot (that takes a bit to uncover) for his mentee. He's a retired hitman, but such profession is nothing you can retire from. He's living out in a small town, keeping to himself and being the local town grump. Something happens to her, something horrible that makes her want to do something even though she is normally the sunshine in everyone's life, and through contacts she is given the address to a man who can teach her. (more to the plot available upon request) 2. age gap + spy x spy + modern supernatural + werewolf x shapeshifter He has already been secretly hired by the US government to investigate this mysterious, new criminal organization. It would be at her first mission and already aware she will be working alongside a more experienced, freelancer agent. We could start with them meeting at the airport and we can go from there. 3. Muse A is a infamous criminal and Muse B is a FBI agent. Muse B has been helping Muse A take out their competition. They could kill each other but would die for each other. (Based on The Blacklist) 4. age gap + modern supernatural/southern gothic + cop x criminal A local man is thought to have killed his fiancee (when actually someone or something else did and everyone assumes he was guilty because he was already a criminal before). He spends years in prison for it. When he gets out, he goes back to the small town where they once lived and is determined to find out the truth. A deputy knows of his story and aids him in his quest, not knowing if he's truly innocent or not. They fall in love along the way, a bond formed due to them both being outsiders in one way or another. He might have almost married his fiancee but he finds the deputy is someone he’s drawn to despite everything. Fandoms: (Will only do oc x oc/characters inspired by canon pairings) Star Wars, X Files, Haven, The Blacklist, Fringe, Zoo, Stranger Things, Heroes, The Wolf Among Us, The Walking Dead, Mercy Thompson Series, True Blood, Castle Rock, Red Dead Redemption, Marvel I use email and discord to write. Contact me at agentkeene@gmail.com or Cat#4017. If you add me using the latter, let me know where you came from. Look forward to hearing from you!