#i did line this originally but i liked my sketch better so cope with the mess

[tesspool]

drew some homos for pride month

[brynn-lear]

"SALUTATIONS, I am Cranberry N.V. Tilde's editor. I'll be delighted to assist you in browsing their works."

⌜⟡⌟ TABLE OF CONTENTS ⌜⟡⌟ i. Teyvat Times [Genshin Impact] ii. Velvet Rumors [Persona Series] iii. The Blue Sea Star [Honkai Star Rail] iv. Fodlan Winds [Fire Emblem, to be added] v. Specials [original content, to be added]

【i.】 Teyvat Times

✧ When The Cypress Tree Wilts ✧ Yan!Kamisato Ayato Fanfic Kamisato Ayato, the sole survivor of Teyvat, struggles to cope with grief. He finds solace in the company of a fellow survivor, (Y/n), on the Astral Express. Although the two came from different universes, with him being a fictional character on (Y/n)'s end, he had grown fond of them. Perhaps too fond for Mister Yang's liking. He has seen this story played out once already. 𓂂 Read here

✦ His Dog ✦ Dottore Drabble "You're 0.0035 seconds late. Do better." 𓂂 Read here

✧ Grievances ✧ Yan!Zhongli Comic "Why..." 𓂂 See here

✦ Papers, Please ✦ Thoma Angst Fic Exploring the possibility that the resistance failed, Inazuma's borders became stricter than ever before. Thoma begs the inspector to let (Y/n) in last minute, but it's a far more challenging ordeal for a "fixer" 𓂂 Read here

✧ "So I could've told her-" ✧ Yan!Neuvillette Comic Regency yandere au where Neuvillette doesn't know how to express his affections properly since childhood 𓂂 See here

✦ Little Mermaid ✦ Yan!Al Haitham Comic Aphotic: sea witch grants you a dangerous wish. it affects your lover. 𓂂 See here

✧ Pantomime of the Night ✧ Yan!Arlecchino Fancomic Comic inspired by a yandere vampire!arle fic written by harmonysanreads 𓂂 See here

✦ Capitano's So-Called Liability ✦ Yan!Capitano Series You, cursed to live as an elderly woman after losing a bet to Alice, decided to live your best life by watching thrills as the assistant of the most powerful man in Teyvat: Capitano. However, it seems that with you, he would gladly walk at a slower pace. (#Capitano's So-Called Liability, I'll make a proper masterlist later.) 𓂂 Chapter 1 (Start), 𓂂 Comic 1𓂂 HCs 1

✧ "Ship" In A Bottle ✦ Diluc Drabble Diluc doesn't seem to like the ex-pirate who visits Angel's Share all that much, but he'll change his mind soon enough. 𓂂 Read here

✦ Paging Dr. Zandik ✦ Yan!Dottore Drabble A House MD au because I love House MD it's my childhood. 𓂂 Read here

✧ Inequitable Ransom ✦ Yandere!Kaveh Comic You made a grievous error, thinking that kidnapping the Light of the Kshrawerar would land you some easy money. For the past months, you've done nothing but befriend and lower his guard. The truth, however, was far more depressing than you thought. You've heard this line a million times before, but it's true... The hunter can become the hunted 𓂂 See here

✦ Learning Fear ✦ Yan!Dottore/Agent!Reader Drabble "Agent Without Fear". 𓂂 Read here

【ii.】 Velvet Rumors

✧ A Tasteless Cup ✧ Yan!Akira Kurusu Fanfic After the destruction of your previous reality, you and Akira Kurusu landed in Teyvat. In an effort to stay afloat, Akira had set up a book café in Mondstadt alongside you. However, is this the true flavor of "Freedom"? 𓂂 Read here

【iii.】 The Blue Sea Star

✧ WhoDrankIt ✧ Yandere Various!H:SR OTOME GAME!!! You (name changeable) are a hardworking and full-pledged human cafe owner in Penacony City. Your Dreamjolt Cafe has been a go-to for residents and tourists alike. But your loved ones' lives took a sharp turn for the worst when you decided to take a much-needed vacation back to your homeland, Perlas. While your family eagerly awaited your arrival, you disappeared en route. Where did you go? How did this happen? Who did this? Was it... (Tap to learn more) 𓂂 The Original Comic 𓂂 The Otome Game 1.0 Beta Link

✦ If You Were Church... ✦ Yan!Sunday Art "I'll get on my knees." 𓂂 See here

✧ The Lovely Miss Sparkle! ✧ Sparkle Sketches Come take a look! In 5... 4... 3... 2... 𓂂 See here

✦ He Changed Himself For You... ✦ Yan!Gallagher Comic Gallagher knows more about you than he knows himself. And if he could just mold himself to be your type... 𓂂 See here

✧ The Dog Days Are Over ✧ Gallagher Sketches Just a place for me to dump general Gallagher art sketches 𓂂 See here

✦ A Happy Farm Life ✦ Yandere Dog!Gallagher HCs & Sketches yandere half-dog!Gallagher and forgetful farmer!reader au collection. 𓂂 See here, 2

✧ GALLAGHER PROPAGANDA ✧ Yan!Gallagher HCs He had to win, okay- 𓂂 Read here

✦ I Am The Righteous Hand Of God. ✦ Sunday & Gallagher Animatic I am the devil that you forgot. 𓂂 See here

✧ Don't Be Foolish ✧ Yandere Emanator!Dr. Ratio Comic Don't make me worry, again. 𓂂 See here

✦ Nah Bro We MILKIN' ✦ Yandere Dog!Gallagher Drabbles & Sketches I swore I made this as a joke. 𓂂 See here

✧ Family Matters ✧ Gallagher/RobinHill Drabble Robin keeps getting pestered by your older brother, Sunday. 𓂂 Read here

✦ Holding A Wedding On Top Of His Funeral ✦ Yandere Rancher!Gallagher & Yandere Cowboy!Boothill Art Yandere rancher!Gallagher vs Yandere cowboy!Boothill over a mail order bride!reader fic when? When I'm done with the event probably- 𓂂 See here

✧ Interactions ✧ Yandere!Boothill w/ Speckled Drabble Don't drink with Boothill. 𓂂 Read here

✦ Prime Minister's Child ✦ Assassin!Boothill vs Bodyguard!Argenti Concept The amount of boothill i'm putting in this masterlist is lowkey funny ngl 𓂂 Read here

✧ Citrus Hands ✧ Sunday Drabble Ask him to peel oranges. Trust me. 𓂂 Read here

✦ Daily Respite ✦ Sunday Drabble Potato chips. 𓂂 Read here

【iv.】 Fodlan Winds

✧ “Come on, teach. Don't make me delete your saves.” ✧ Yan!Claude Von Riegan Comic He knows you're playing. But why aren't you choosing Golden Deer...? 𓂂 See here

【v.】 Specials

✧ Perforate and Permeate ✧ Yan!Illumi Zoldyck Comic based on teabutmakeitazure's fic

Red flags start appearing in the form of odd piercings on taxi drivers. The feeling of something horribly off surrounds you, but in the end, some people are always powerless, aren't they?

𓂂 See here

"If you are looking for Ms. Lear's personal journals instead, please follow me."

[system-of-a-feather]

Do you have any projects your working on right now? If so wouldnt say no to a ramble about them (love watching artists/other writers talk about their passion projects)

Do I have any projects I am working on right now?

Overall I technically have one REALLY huge project going which is the said story I eventually will need to turn into a comic / webtoon when my skills are consistent and high enough. That one I've technically been working on with my writing partner for a decade about and honestly the passion and dedication the both of us have to said story has really saved both of our lives on more than one occasion if I'm honest cause it was the primary coping / processing mechanism for two teens surviving abusive households that ended up in two people with DID (well technically he hasn't been diagnosed and he likes to ignore it until it becomes an issue TM but I knew he had DID before I knew I had DID)

But like, writing wise, we've been writing it in RP format for about a decade. We had some off years while we were sorting out our friendship and figuring out how to have boundaries in the earlier portion, but we've really got a grasp on the overall story and are currently writing the prequel before we REWRITE the original story we started with when we were 12. Somewhere around the time of rewriting that story I'll probably start properly paneling and story boarding out the comic as we go, but until then I'm on the art grind.

Neither of us are in a particular rush to put the story out there though, cause the world is already really massive and we are still learning / figuring things out about it and the characters in it, and strongly do value letting it grow authentically on its own, so we are taking our time going through the prequel as the prequel will help us gain a better understanding of the world to really do the main and original story correctly.

On the art side of things, yeah I always have a project going. I actually usually am working on 1-3 art things at a time to keep myself satiated and not burnt out doing one aspect of one thing too long. I wouldn't call any of them "passion projects" since they're honestly like... if you think about a management sim like STardew Valley, its like... tasks activities and stuff and less "projects" cause I just kind of take my art really casually if its not for an art trade, commission or a gift.

I guess the closest thing to a larger scale project is that I'm trying to go about all my characters now that I'm getting a semi-consistent way I like to draw them and make it so that everyone has at least one decent art thing to use as their icon for their toyhouse gallery and like, that doesn't sound hard but the story have 40+ characters and I currently have designed 40+ characters so its a long list of things XD

I'm also trying to design as many characters up front to help conceptualize them as we write them, but also to have those as "beta designs" for whenever I get around to the proper comic.

As for like individual WIPs, I finished one really ambitious one which was actually drawing something that was a lot more illustration and scenery based than anything else and I really liked how that turned out considering it took like three hours (below the keep reading #1)

And currently my two WIPs that aren't complete is that 1) I am trying to draw a like, wall line up of busts of a basically massive family of like 15 people where I've only designed like 4 of them already and only named 6 of said characters. Doing this mainly to like, build a better image of the family and to give alpha designs to characters that theoretically exist in the world so I can have them in my back pocket if its a good idea to pull from them. The earlier art I did of the older man is the patriarch and the first bust sketch I got done for this and 2) I'm slowly trying to work on and come up with a tattoo mural for one of the characters taht i only now found out appearently has tattoos when shes older. The thing is, consider it story wise, its extremely important taht these tattoos actually tell a story and have a meaning in regards to the character, so I've been rather stumped on what I could add to it and since these are supposed to be highly meaningful things, I figured the best way to go about "finishing it" and designing it would be to leave that art infinately open until I come up with sparks of ideas of perfect images to add onto her body that represent her, much like soeone who wanted to get a sleeve / tattoo mural themselves likely would. (most recent WIP below the keep reading #2)

CW; mild suggestivity / nsfw

[starlight-thoughts-ao3]

Handle With Care

Summary: For a moment, he considered walking back out of the room, give her the privacy she clearly desired, but she wasn't stopping, so he kept watching. She kept dancing to the delicate music and he sank to the floor in front of her, his legs crossed over themselves, a captive audience. Her lips quirked up into a smile, and as the song came to an end, she bowed in his direction.

TW: Nothing, so far as I’m aware. Let me know if you disagree.

Notes: This is part me being poetic and pretentious and part me being unable to get the image of Natasha dancing for Tony out of my head. I just, their relationship in the MCU is one I find fascinating. The "I should not care about you, but I can't help it" on both ends of that is something I can't help but play around with, and I've been toying with this fic for months and I'm not entirely happy with it, but I have it written so here. Cross-posted on AO3.

Human beings like to tell themselves such pretty lies. Things will get better. Everything happens for a reason. Love always wins. We tell ourselves stories where the good guys win and the bad guys get put away behind bars because we can't cope with the concept that sometimes, life just doesn't care. Tony Stark was born into a world that would always know his name, though not for the reasons he'd wish they would. Such careful manipulation of the facts made sure that no one would ever think that the man who was known as the Merchant of Death was so full of life and energy he was drowning in it. He poured all his passion into things he'd never publicize but they were his children; they were made of metal and code, but they were real and he loved them enough to hide them away from prying eyes. Act like you don't care about anything or anyone long enough and eventually, people stop caring about you.

Tony Stark was born a disappointment, and he learned early on that he'd be allowed more freedom if he didn't even try to change their minds. So he wore a mask made of recklessness and failure and watched as the world forgot that he was brilliant. The problem with masks is that some people will see them and decide it's far more interesting to see what they're hiding.

James Rhodes watched as the boy who was way too young to be sitting in the college lab twisted lines of code into a simple, but charming, personality like it was magic, then build it a body, sketching designs for the robotic arm over the blueprints his father wanted him to look over, just to see if his son had a mind for weapons as he did. James watched as Tony fixed all the issues his father's designs had, then go back to creating life like it was nothing special. James watched as his best friend was told his parents were dead and he watched as Tony shut himself off from the world and created JARVIS. It would occur to him later that AI was the first bit of armor Tony built.

Virginia Potts was the most terrifyingly competent person Tony had ever had the pleasure of being yelled at by. He had stumbled into her -- literally -- one night while leaving the R&D offices and she had given him hell for it, all while towering over him in her high heels, not a hair out of place. Her fury mixed with her composure startled a genuine laugh out of him. He promoted her on the spot. He liked the way she treated him as human, instead of a toy or a trophy. Things were easier with her at his side. The world didn't seem as overwhelming when she was there to take care of the practical things. She didn't judge him for having his head in the clouds, she just tied a string around his wrist and guided him like a balloon while she stayed firmly on the ground. It had taken him much too long to realize that there wasn't enough money in the world to keep someone with him, so her continued presence in his life had to be because she genuinely cared, and that was when he gave her the codes to his personal lab. He found her, his Pepper, asleep on the couch more than once, hair loose, feet curled up under a blanket she had brought down because she liked to watch him work.

One kidnapping and betrayal later, Tony began to distrust everything and anyone connected to his father. The only ones who actually seemed to care about him were the ones he chose himself.

Steve Rogers was everything everyone had wanted Tony to be and having all that rush back into his head out of nowhere put him on the defensive. He knew Pepper would tell him that none of that was Steve's fault and could he please get his head out of his head now? But he couldn't. This was the man that his father had idolized and searched for until the day he died. This was the man that Howard had poured all his time and energy into instead of his son, and while Tony knew, and he did know, that Rogers had no part of that, Tony was tired of the past coming to haunt him. Realistically, anyone his father had liked was bad news for him and there was no one, save Aunt Peggy, that Howard Stark liked more than Steve Rogers.

They clashed and shattered against each other, the whole world watching as Tony Stark and Steve Rogers fell into synchronization, the pieces of shared history falling to the wayside in the light of victory.

Natasha was difficult for Tony to process. She was the only person he'd ever met who wore as many masks as he did, and he tried desperately to not think about the fact that she was so deadly because of it. People underestimated her, didn't see how clever her eyes were, didn't see how she'd change everything about herself to fit the image they wanted to see. He saw how it wore her down. He could relate, and she knew it. It was strange, the art of being seen as what other people wanted shared between a man who was always in the spotlight and a woman who learned to blend into the background.

He liked to watch her dance. It wasn't that it made him forget that she was lethal -- quite the opposite, actually -- but more that she looked more human while she did. It was almost like whatever it was that allowed her to drift seamlessly between personalities melted away and left just a woman who loved to dance behind. She was talented and beautiful because of course, she was, but it was how carefree and unguarded she was as she twirled around that caught -- and held -- his attention. The funny thing is, he almost didn't have this, he almost let it slip through his fingers. The shooting range was originally going to be both Clint and Natasha's "welcome to the dysfunctional family" present, but the archer had a different idea.

"You want her happy, Stark, you give her a place to dance," Clint had said in such a no-nonsense tone that he almost thought that he was playing a prank on him, and if he followed through, she'd kill him without mercy. But the glint in Clint's eyes told him to take a chance, and so he lined one wall of the gym with mirrors and had a barre installed, much to the confusion of the builders. When he took all of them around the tower, the way her fingers trailed along the metal was reverent. She and Clint shared a look, he nodded, and suddenly Tony's arms were full of a redhead who could kill in an instant if she wanted.

"Thank you," she whispered into his ear. He's still not sure what platitudes he said, but a second later, she was across the room, no hint of the raw emotion she had just displayed on her face. And that was that.

He hadn't expected to ever see her actually use the space he had carved out for her, as it was well known that she was in the gym late at night when the more sensible members of their team had long since gone to sleep or pretended to. But he was no stranger to aimless insomnia, and had wandered into the gym one night, just walking around, and had been startled out of daydreams by slow music, and it would have been ethereal if not for the haunting melody. The sound of her feet hitting the floor came after and his eyes drifted to her. It was in that moment he had reconsidered the meaning of the word "revealing". He had certainly seen more of her skin than the leotard was showing, but he had never seen more of her. He looked so much like his father that they tended to forget that he was Maria's son as well. He'd been to enough ballet performances to know that while her movements weren't the most technically accurate, that was only because she didn't want them to be. He also knew she was aware of his presence. For a moment, he considered walking back out of the room, give her the privacy she clearly desired, but she wasn't stopping, so he kept watching. She kept dancing to the delicate music and he sank to the floor in front of her, his legs crossed over themselves, a captive audience. Her lips quirked up into a smile, and as the song came to an end, she bowed in his direction.

"You could do that professionally, you know. Drop the whole spy thing and just do that," he told her as she offered him her hand. She shook her head.

"No, I couldn't," she said. He looked her up and down, and smiled sadly.

"No, you couldn't," he agreed, "but you should dance for us, sometimes. Pretty sure that little number you just did would scandalize our dear captain." He wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed and laughed. Tony pulled her into him and began a simple waltz in the silence. She fell into step so effortlessly that it almost startled him, but only almost.

"Maybe I'll dance for everyone one day. We'll see. It's not personal, it's just," she sighed, unsure how to finish the sentence.

"It's just too personal," he suggested. She nodded. His hands on her body felt warm and distracting in a way she was not accustomed to. They were not wandering; they stayed exactly where they were supposed to be for the dance, and while his embrace was steady, it was not strict. She could walk away from this moment, and he would let her.

"I don't know how to let people in, Tony. I don't know how to be a person, not really." Her steps never faltered, but her voice wobbled, just a bit.

"One person at a time, one little truth at a time," he said, switching the dance from a formal ballroom to a playful mishmash of whatever he wanted. She grinned and teased him with chaos of her own. She twirled away from him, and as just as he pulled her back to him, he whispered into her ear, "and sometimes, Miss Rushman, you don't let them in at all. They come barging in anyway and you hope and pray they don't break your heart."

[akimmito]

Heroes are made by the path they choose

Previous | AO3 | Next

___________________________

Chapter 3

The Paris news continues to speak of the Akuma two days after the event, Marinette is stressed coping with the disaster that remained on her catwalk. Unlike in previous years, Paris is not ready to deal with another Hawkmoth again, and the city's mood fell immediately from the moment appeared. Fashion week continues, but everything feels bad. They have not officially left the apartment since the event, although they have been going to the MT headquarters.

She looks at the cup of chamomile tea that Hugo, her butler?, was kind enough to prepare to help her relax, but she knows that a tea won't help her.

"Mother, we should get out of town. You're pale. ”Damian approaches her and analyzes her posture, obviously she didn't sleep the night before because she was checking the security cameras distributed by Paris looking for the origin of the butterfly, but they are more than five hundred and Max's algorithm barely reduced it to one hundred and twenty cameras. He's concerned about her health, he knows how she gets when she focuses too much on a task.

"Do you want to go to the country house?" She asks putting her head on her arm, dozing off from lack of sleep and the calming effect of chamomile. She just needed a distraction from her mind.

"Yes, you could use a break. Felix can take care of everything in the MT and if they need us, we are a portal away. "He maintains his neutral expression, there are days when he reproaches himself for caring for the woman who decided to adopt him knowing that he's a trained killer, but today is not one of those. She never wanted to change it, not as he thinks his father would have done if he had gone to live with him... Bruce Wayne doesn't tolerate murder, after all. The MT is curious, they dance a lot on the gray line. He was lycky to get them.

"Yeah... you're right." Mariette straightens up and rubs her eyes. If they are going to travel, she must avoid falling asleep until they are in the car on the way to the country house. "That reminds me, we can take Ringo, the vet says that its leg is already better and that he can be transferred from the shelter without problems. "

Damian is encouraged by the news, the little cub was shot in the leg by some thieves, the owner despised him taking it as lost, but he asked his mother to help it heal so that it would not die. The puppy is alive and they can take it to a place where he can be safe and be a happy dog. They made the right decision.

"Go get your bags ready. Maybe we will get to lunch time. "She gets up and picks up her phone, she must notify the employees that they will arrive earlier than planned.

Damian goes to his room being followed by Longg, he must get everything he will carry ready. Not even fifteen minutes have passed when he has everything ready, keeping comfortable clothes to be able to play with his pets in the extensive terrain, very different from his normal residence.

Marinette and Damian live on the top floor of an apartment building just four blocks from the Eiffel Tower, she likes the evening view and even has a window where she has placed a mattress. Damian also became a fan of that same location and became his favorite area within the apartment, although he prefers the Animal Shelter and the country house, both of which were bought especially for him, all because she couldn't fill the apartment with animals (despite of her own desires to do so).

The only pet in the apartment is a very demanding fluffy white cat who likes to be the center of Damian's attention, who gets angry on weekend trips to the country house, where it's forced to live with the others animals ... dirty and unworthy of be a Lenoir. The cat is very proud to be the favorite and it hates with all its might the cat of country house, which always steals the child's precious attention (with dogs it doesn't get in because they are very large, two German shepherds, a Garafiano shepherd and an Australian Shepherd, plus a Bernese Mountain puppy.)

Damian is ecstatic with the prospect of spending six days on the country house, although the cat, named Dafne, doesn't look happy and even growled at the boy when he tried to grab it the first time, now it has already relaxed and brought its bad humor to its transport box. He closes the box and takes his things, now all he has to do is wait for his mother to stop being a mess to they can leave.

"Do you have your suitcase yet?" Marinette asks going from one side to another in the rooms, Damian doesn't even answer her and he only goes out to the living room to wait until she finishes messing up the whole apartment. "Hugo, where are my sketch books?"

They're already packed, Miss Marie. Also the fabric catalog of the next collection and the general balance of the month."

Hugo is a very English man to someone who lived in France most of his life, but she's not going to question him about it (Max did a very good background check). He started working with her a year after founding her brand and somehow managed to discover the MT and is now an unofficial member, making her escapades much easier by having him cover her. She's grateful to heaven for making her cross her path, she would have gone mad without him already.

"Thanks, Hugo."

"Hugo, did you pack the Kwami and Dafne meals?" Damian asks when the man returns to the room. He's eager to leave to meet his pets, he sees them every week, but it's not enough time.

"Of course, the extra order for cheeses was also made for the country house."

"Oh, Hugo! You're the best, I hope you live a thousand years!" Plagg arrives full of joy and almost dares to hug the man, but that is not his style, on the contrary, he cheers for the excellent service. "I wish all my kittens would treat me like you. "

Marinette enters the room with her suitcase and looks at Plagg with mock annoyance, amusement seeping into her gaze. She misses Tikki, she was always the voice of reason, but Plagg has a unique way of keeping her high spirited and, with the stress of her life, very much appreciates his presence, daring to consider he more effective than encouraging words from Tikki.

"Yeah, right? It's not like I paid for all your cheese. ”Plagg flies towards her and repeats the action, causing her to finally laugh at his games. Longg lets out a small snort from his position near the boy, he had not made any noise and that causes others to be surprised by his presence sometimes. Damian rejoices when he sees the others jump off  for forgetting that Longg is active too.

"Shall we go now, mother?"Damian takes out some Dior brand sunglasses and the black mask from his handbag to prevent his face from going out in magazines or social networks without his consent, he doesn't understand what is the interest in them, they are only people with a little money and a brand that becomes more famous after each show. In any case, they shouldn't be interested in him and he detests those who do.

"Yeah, we can go now."                                                

Damian smiles with pleasure putting on his dark glasses, which are already part of his daily wardrobe because he always accompanies Marinette to all kinds of events, the least he can do is learn to combine brands and styles for each time he goes out. He usually opts for black, although lately he no longer cares about trying styles and clothes that he would never have considered wearing.

When they go out to the main entrance, where Hugo is already waiting for them with the car, he have already put on the mask and, of course, a curious spectator treats them as if they were the stars of an Oscar-winning film. At least no one can notice his annoyed expression under the mask.

They enter the car and Damian takes the opportunity to get Dafne out, it prefers to travel like this and  they will not change vehicles as when they leave the country, he can carry it all the way. Everyone thinks that he’s too spoiled, but he considers that it's fair since it's the only animal that he's allowed to keep at home.

As the small Lenoir family moves towards the country house, in the MT, Kagami destroys the training dolls with a saber, under the watchful eye of Luka who, from the second level, watches her move with the fury of a hurricane. He mentally notes placing the doll replacement as part of the following month's expense.

"If she continues like this, she will come looking for us to fight with us." Luka turns to the person who has just entered, Alix stands near him, appreciating the power of the cuts and the lethality of the Japanese woman. "The little demon would have a good training match with her. "

"Mari sent a message, they will be at the country house. "

"How envious, I wish I had a place like that to escape to." She yawns, leaning on the railing. "But duty calls.”She mutters when her phone starts ringing to the rhythm of the Seven Nation Army, which means it's a call from work. Alix walks away just waving.

Luka smiles softly, it's a calm day. Perhaps everyone is a little more tense, stressed and with excitement itching their hands, but it's very calm, life continues its course regardless of the problems that may exist. The insignificance with which life itself deals with the matter gives he the certainty that they will solve it, that this time there will not be a third party that stands in their way of recovering Nooroo.

The voices are loud outside the training room and he can see the moment when Nathaniel and Kim enter arguing, Marc is a few steps behind them looking at them with an undoubtedly irritated expression, as if they had been on that same topic for a long time.

"I tell you, if we were to work with someone outside the MT, it can't be Batman. I love my privacy, thanks. ”Nathaniel says tired, he despises eternally the heartless blonde who brought up that subject only to leave saying he had job. Kim is not an official member, hei tournaments trips and constant swimming training prevent her from being one, so he doesn't fully understand why the MT remains so in the shadows (even with the irony that the Parisian media talks about they with the same frequency as Jagged, Clara and other famous faces).

"He would help a lot, you know."

"Yeah, but he would also discover the Miracoulous and that is a resounding no. Our duty is to protect them and the less people know it, the easier it'll be. "

"They mention it in the news!"

"In fact. "Marc speaks behind them, tired of hearing them repeat arguments. "Since decree No. 35 of the current French government was released, any mention of the Prodigies in the media will be sanctioned according to the provisions of the MT, that is to say, us, and of the Parisian heroes, also us. It has even been included in the Constitution as a secret of identity and provenance for the protection of heroes. Chloe was devastating when she demanded a law that protected us and the Kwami, without lying, she put all the cards on the table without mentioning personal gain. "

Kim is speechless, he really didn't know that. When was the last time he updated on the laws in his country? He might as well break some and he wouldn't know it. To take into account, just like talking to Chloe about it.

"You see? Now that we are done with this, can we train? "

Kagami destroys the last doll at that moment and turns to the newcomers, has released all her frustrations.

They are supposed to be starting the investigation into the new Hawkmoth, but the mayor's office has requested that they refrain from starting the investigation for a week, he does not understand the irrationality of that request. She's very angry at the mayor's negligence, the longer they delay the investigation, the harder it will be to track him down. Still, it annoyed her more the way Marinette and Felix so easily accepted orders… when they don't take orders from anyone, they can move around the edges of the law, but they're not below it.

"Has Mari-hime arrived?"

"She texted that she'd be at the country house with Damian, she needs the break," Marc replies before heading to the locker room to change into training clothes.

"Where's Felix?"

"Work." Nathaniel growls the answer and then follows his boyfriend, just thinking about the blonde makes him bitter. An hour arguing nonsense with Kim is enough to put anyone in a bad mood, he doesn't understand how Max can be such a good friend with him.

Kagami frowns and hands the saber to Kim before leaving the training room, she's angry again. What do Marinette and Felix intend? She rarely understands what goes through their heads.

Luka comes down from the second level to intercept Kagami, she's being overbearing on the whole miraculous butterfly issue. He knows that Marinette doesn't play with the affairs of the MT, she doesn't endanger them on purpose and they don't make hasty decisions, only one person is more cautious than she and that is Felix, if the two agreed to wait, they have something keep in mind.

"Kagami." He calls her, but she doesn't stop. "Kagami."

"I'm not listening to you, you're going to defend them."

"I ask you to think about it more deeply. Mari is very serious about retrieving the butterfly clasp, she knows what she's doing."

"Oh, Yeah. I really believe that." She looks at him annoyed, in front of him.

"You are upset, but don't let anger cloud your thoughts. We are all frustrated, eager to fight, but we will only hit a wall if we rush. You have to know when to take a break, this is a good time. "

She purses her mouth, holding back the words. He's somewhat right, their cannt just run into the unknown pretending they know where they are going. Her only answer is a nod before she resumes her journey, perhaps she should go see her mother and stay away from the MT until the break ends or another Akuma appears, whichever comes first.

_______________________________

Damian @DamianLenoir

Ringo is better and today he will meet his new brothers, he is a very happy puppy.

[Attached photo]

Alix @LostHeroBunnix

Why did I think opening an art school would be fun? I should have kept my skates.

Felix @GrahamV_Felix

Should I yell or yell at the worthless one who flooded the set? I just had to turn on a tap, not recreate the scene of the Biblical Flood.

Nath @NathanielKC_twt

@GrahamV_Felix Being nice and not giving a scare of death to the people around you could help you the other people not flood the set. Did you know?

Felix @GrahamV_Felix

@NathanielKC_twt And become Marie? Is not my style.

Marie L. @MarieLenoir

@GrahamV_Felix @NathanielKC_twt Too much style for you, it doesn't fit with you; p

Chloe B. @BourgeoisQueen

Marie take me with you! @MarieLenioir

Damian @DamianLenoir

@BourgeoisQueen NO.

______________________

Ages:

Tomoe T: 50. Bruce: 45. Dick: 28. Luka: 26. Jason: 25. Marie and her group: 24. Tim: 19. Damian: 10.

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Eidolon 3 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary:  AU: What started off as the result of a simple act of rebellion ends up causing his life to spin out of control. How will young Danny cope with the results as well as a past that has a strange habit of coming back to haunt him.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, and various other things

Parings: hints of Danny/Sam much later on

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr.

Chapter 3: Worries

"Sam… can you run this by me again?" he asked as he stopped searching for a moment and glanced at her. "What exactly are we looking for?"

Her response was a roll of the eyes. "I thought we went over this already… Don't you want to know what we saw last night?"

"I don't!" Tucker voiced, causing the two of them to look at him. "What? That thing was scary! For all we know, it could still be out here, and I for one, have no desire to see it again!"

"Why, aren't we brave?" The sarcasm in Sam's voice spoke volumes. In an almost immediate response, Tucker covered his head with his arms. Apparently, that tone was a verbal warning of the threat of pain. Sam could apparently be rather scary when she felt like it.

"Hey! Don't get mad at me! I just want to keep my good looks safe for the ladies! Besides, you're the one with the grudge!"

That answer just seemed to anger Sam more. "How selfish can you get? You don't even care that other people could be in danger?" Though it was true that she had sworn her vengeance on whatever they had seen, rational seemed to have come back to her in the hours after the chase. She currently just wanted to know who or what that was.

"I do… except, in my book, I come first! Besides, shouldn't this be a job for the police instead?"

"Like they're going to believe a couple of kids. We'll probably be the ones to get in trouble if we say anything. They only take it seriously if we find some kind of proof."

Danny stayed silent as he watched their fight continue. Sam did have a point; whatever it was that they had seen the night before could potentially be dangerous to anyone in the area. It also seemed unlikely that the police would believe them, since they would probably just pass it off as some kind of animal, which it definitely was not! However, he sided more with Tucker. If it wasn't for Sam's persuasiveness (aka threats), there was no way that he would have come back to the cemetery for quite some time.

He glanced around the familiar surroundings and shivered slightly. It was only about one in the afternoon, but it felt like it was much later. The shadows appeared more pronounced, the statues looked corrupted, and the air seemed stale and heavy. It was almost as if that thing's presence had managed to taint the area.

Even though he really did not believe in the so-called paranormal, there was definitely something demonic about that creature. That thought caused him to sigh. He was being silly. There was probably a very logical explanation for what he and his friends had seen. It was probably just some drifter or psychopath… which is just as comforting.

In truth, he would rather just forget about the incident and chalk it up as a bizarre situation that he never wanted to ever deal with again. He had also made a promise to himself to never again sneak out of his house at night; being scared half to death was so not worth it. However, he had this sinking suspicion that Sam was going to make him break that. Speaking of which…

"What…?" he asked after he realized that she had asked him something. "Sorry, I wasn't listening."

"Jeez, Danny, get your head out of the clouds." Judging by her expression and the fact that Tucker was hiding rather poorly behind a nearby bush, they had stopped arguing for the time being. "I just wanted to know if you had managed to get home okay last night. I mean, you didn't get in trouble or anything, did you? I kinda forgot to ask earlier."

He frowned for a moment. "Surprisingly… no," he replied before giving them a sheepish grin. "I… uh… fell when I snuck back through my window. If you haven't already noticed, I'm kinda klutzy. Winston's use to that, but it's a little weird for me to fall at night. If he did wake up, I guess he assumed I fell off the bed again."

Sam shook her head. "Again…?"

"I don't do it often!" he replied in an embarrassed protest. "Just a couple times a year!"

"And that makes it so much better."

"Um, I don't mean to pry or anything," Tucker interrupted as he came over. Apparently, he now thought it was safe for him to come out of hiding, though he did make sure that he was out of Sam's punching range. "But, why do you call your dad by his first name?"

That question earned another sheepish look. "Well… um… I'm actually adopted. Winston's been my guardian for as long as I can remember. Apparently, my parents had asked him to take care of me if anything would happen to them…" He sounded wistful for a moment before he sat down on a nearby bench. Raising his head, he glanced at them while wearing an expression that was unreadable. "I… I really don't know what happened to them. Winston's not very comfortable with the topic."

After a small pause, Sam glared at Tucker, who cringed. "Tucker! How could you bring that up?" she demanded as she moved closer to him.

"Sorry!" He immediately backed away from her as he raised his hands again. "I didn't know!"

That caused Danny to chuckle, which caused both of them to look at him. "It's okay, really! I don't mind. Let's just go back to searching before Tucker gets hurt."

"Tucker likes that idea!"

Sam glared at the nervous boy for a moment before poked him in the chest, "Fine, but this doesn't mean that you're off the hook."

….

"Sam!" Tucker whined about an hour later. "Let's call it a day! We haven't found anything! And besides, we promised Danny yesterday that we'd show him around."

Once again, Danny agreed with him. There were definitely less boring activities than failing miserably at finding anything. They had found nothing! It was as if there was absolutely nothing to even suggest that there had even been something other than him in this part of the graveyard within the last day. It was definitely frustrating since there was a small part of him that did want proof that he hadn't just imagined last night. Even if Sam and Tucker had seen it, maybe it had been some weird group hallucination. He had heard those were possible.

Sam glanced around again and gave a frustrated huff before she kicked the ground. "I guess you're right… even if I don't want you to be. I guess we should lea… Hey, what's that?" She pointed at something before she sprinted over to whatever it was that she had seen.

He and Tucker shared a look before they followed her. By the time they had reached her, she had picked up what appeared to be a piece of paper and was examining it. Apparently, it contained either an image or word that was holding her interest.

"Um… Sam… what… oomf!" Danny's words were cut off when Sam shoved the paper into his hands. "What the heck?"

She glared at him while she impatiently tapped her foot. "Just look at it!"

After giving her a look, he complied. At first, the only thing that caught his attention was that he was holding a rather old piece of paper. That normally would not be too weird since littering was unfortunately common, but this paper wasn't just weathered, but it also had a strange feel as if it was more along the lines of canvas than actual paper. He then noticed that there were black marks on it, which he realized was a sketch of what appeared to be some sort of figure.

He turned the paper a bit to see if he could get a better feel for the picture. It appeared to be an ink sketch of what he took to be a demonic figure with… possibly flaming hair. After a moment, he also realized that there seemed to be writing on the top of the paper, but the letters were too faded for him to make out.

"So… what do you think?" Sam asked after he had handed the paper to Tucker.

"Not much," he replied with a shrug. "Sure, it's creepy enough, but I don't think it's related to this. Papers find their way here all the time. Possibly someone lost it out of their sketchbook a while back."

She just shook her head. "Danny, I tend to do a bit of sketching myself… That's not a type of paper, if it is paper, that you commonly use. In fact, I'm fairly certain that I've never seen it before."

"Sam, you're probably over thinking things. I really don't think that it's anything out of the ordinary," Tucker told her as he gave it back to her. He then glanced at Danny and grinned. "Although Sam's usually pretty level-headed, she sometimes lets her love of anything weird run away with her."

"Take that back!"

"In this case, I don't think I will."

"Would you still say that if you weren't standing behind me?" Danny asked as he tried to turn to get a look at his friend.

Tucker gave him a serious look. "Dude, have you seen her boots? They hurt! Oh… alright." After receiving another glare, he gave up on hiding and looked over at the still irritated goth. "If it will make you happy, I'll try to find some information on it when I get home. Though, to be absolutely honest, I'm fairly certain that picture's nothing more than the product of someone's deranged… oh, I mean artistic… mind."

Try as she might, Sam couldn't resist chuckling at his comment. "Thanks. If anyone could find something, it would be you."

"I'm glad you noticed."

"Sure, I noticed. It's your only redeeming quality."

"Hey!"

"Sorry to interrupt another one of your fights," he told them as he raised an eyebrow. Their "play" arguments were throwing him for a loop. How was it possible they were still friends if that happened as commonly as it seemed? "But, am I missing something?"

Sam laughed as she waved him off with her hand. "Don't mind us. Both of us keep forgetting that you don't know any of this yet. Although he might not look like it, Tucker's amazing with technology. I swear that he could honestly bring down a satellite with that PDA of his." She then glanced over at the boy who had brought out said PDA and had begun checking it in a strangely loving fashion. "I'm actually surprised that he didn't mention it yesterday. Perhaps he was trying not to scare you way."

After a moment she placed her hand on his shoulder. "Come on! We should leave now before he starts trying to induct you into his technologic world…"

xxxxx

The door slammed which let him know that his charge was finally home. If it was any other day, he would have actually gone to greet the boy, but this was not the case. He was currently stuck on the phone listening to someone who was irritating him more and more with each passing second. Even though he was usually a patient man, it was taking all of his self control to not raise his voice at her.

"Ma'am, I understand the consequences," he told the voice on the phone tiredly as he tried to wrap up the conversation, "But I assure you, that not only am I acting on his parents' wishes, but that I am also taking very good care of him."

What the woman said next absolutely enraged him. "That remains to be seen!" was his indigent reply. "Please reserve your judgments until you or one of your people come to do that review. Now, have a good day." The woman had tried to respond, but he cut her off by slamming the phone. Those people were so tiring, but that one really knew what to say to get under his skin.

"Uh… is everything okay in here…?" Danny asked carefully as he appeared in the kitchen. His expression clearly said that he hoped that he was not in trouble.

Winston sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he sat down. "It's really nothing too important, just another call from the state. Apparently, they're now attempting to use scare tactics." He then looked at the boy and tried to smile, "So, how was your day?"

Danny shrugged as he too grabbed a seat. "Sam and Tucker showed me around town some more, and we hit the arcade for a bit before Tucker had to head home. We're going to try to get together again in a couple days."

"That's good…"

"Um… are you sure you're okay?"

He sighed as he looked up at the boy who seemed worried about the absent-minded response he had recieved. "Yeah… I guess I let them get to me more than I had thought. Anyways, how does pizza sound for dinner?"

"That sounds great!" Danny then got up and headed towards the hall. "I'm going to be in my room for a while."

"That's fine." Winston then got up and picked up the phone again. After calling the pizza place, he headed into the study and tried to relax.

Why was in the world was that man getting involved in this? He had heard the rumors that the man had begun to involve certain aspects of his many companies in some of the state cases, but until that call he did not believe that they were actually true. Due to the money that those companies held, it was going to much more difficult than he had originally thought to keep Danny. Not only that, but the head of those companies, Vlad Masters himself, had personally become interested.

According to that woman, he claimed to be a friend of Danny's parents. If that was the case, why didn't they ask him to take the boy? But, that was beside the point. Even though the man was well-respected, there was something that just did not sit right with Winston. Sure, he might be a business genius, but he had gained way too much power too quickly. There were rumors that those gains had not been made above the table, and Winston believed that they were true.

It was also known that the man was not above using underhanded tactics in court. If this case did end up going that far… there was no telling what that man might reveal. Danny's story was complicated, and even though he had done what was asked of him, it was unlikely that a jury would see it the same way, especially with how unbelievable the story really was. Most likely, Masters would corrupt the tale, making it even worse.

Then there was Danny to think about. While it's true that he had not be entirely forthcoming with what had actually happened, he had planned on revealing everything on his upcoming birthday. However, with the current mess, he was unsure what precisely to do. If he was to wait and the boy was told a corrupted story, it would most likely shatter his world. He could not let that happen, but he did not want to add stress to him, especially since there had been no indication it was true…

A sudden crash followed by a yell immediately got him out of his seat. That was….? What was that? He stood still for a moment trying to figure out from where the noise had originated when he realized that had been Danny's voice. Sure, the boy did have a tendency to trip, but there was no way that was normal.

He immediately ran to boy's room and opened the door. "Danny! Are you all right? I heard a crash!" He looked around expecting the boy to be near his chair or bed, but instead he was on the floor, plastered against the wall. His piercing blue eyes were wide and frightened.

Worried, he kneeled beside the boy, placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, and gently shook him. Unfortunately, he still did not get a response as Danny was still staring at something. His military instincts kicked in, causing him to tense and glance around the room looking for anything that was out of place. After a moment, he realized that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but he still kept himself prepared potential surprise.

"Danny…" he whispered harshly to his charge as he continued to watch, "what happened?"

There was no sound until he heard Danny take a deep breath and move. He looked back to see the boy leaning his head against the wall. His breathing was still heavy, but it looked like the worst of the shock of whatever had happened was beginning to wear off. "Are you okay?" he asked cautiously as he glanced around again.

"Huh…?" the boy's voice was startled. Had he only just realized that he had come into the room? "Wh-what's going on?"

"Are you hurt?" he asked as he knelt down again. "Did something happen? Did you see something weird?"

At the last question, his charge tensed and glanced at his hand as if he was examining it. After a moment, he hesitantly looked back at him and shook his head. "I… I'm fine, but what's with the twenty questions?"

He raised an eyebrow at the boy. "Really? Daniel, I heard a crash and a yell from you. I was worried," he told him as he helped him to his feet. "Are you sure everything's okay?"

This time, he was answered with a nod. "I'm fine… I just … fell off the chair... and managed to knock some of the stuff off my desk…" Danny cringed slightly when he realized how weak sounding his excuse was. He then became more animated and began to push the older man towards the door. "I promise! I'm perfectly fine! N-nothing's wrong! Just give me a few minutes to clean up everything, and I'll be right out! The pizza's supposed to be here shortly, right?"

Before Winston even had a chance to attempt to get a word in, Danny shoved him out of the room and slammed to door. He remained there, a little stunned for a few moments. Whatever had happened definitely spooked the boy, it was probably nothing like he had said… but he could not help but wonder. A normal fall like that should not be so frightening.

He took another glance at the door before he headed back into the kitchen. Maybe he should watch the boy a little more closely, just in case.

[thejenesaisquoigirl]

DnD Ask Meme- Talise

Link to original, blank meme: https://thejenesaisquoigirl.tumblr.com/post/186529464305/dnd-asks More about my tiefling swashbuckler under the cut~!

1) What would they consider to be their biggest failure?

Oof. Maybe not being able to save her family, or at least her sister-in-law and nephew. Maybe her (former) deep reliance on alcohol once her memories started coming back. Trauma is a motherfucker

2) What’s the story behind their name?

When I first went to grad school visit days at my current institution two years ago, there was another person interviewing with a name that sounded similar. Really loved it and added on LaPearl for her alias’ last name (for her eyes). Her birth name is my Warden from Dragon Age Origins (Hozanna Cousland, only more french) since the backstory shares a lot of similarities. 

3) What’s their relationship with their family?

When she was Hosanna, very close. They all loved learning (though maybe different things), the people in their city, and each other. She was closest to her brother, Yanis, despite their age difference. She felt adrift after losing them and finding Yanis has upset any equilibrium she was finding. 

4) What’s one song that describes them or is them?

The cover of Rise that Superfruit did on their channel

5) Who is their best friend?

Yanis was her best friend growing up; the years after losing him were rough but she was working towards a place of resignation...then they found him alive. As Talise, it’s super weird because yes, her brother used to be able to embarrass her in her previous life; but now, it’s the first time she’s ever felt shame. Hosanna, while sharing a small flair for the dramatic, was a very different person than Talise was crafted to be. But in the party, Jax is the closest to a best friend. 

6) Why are they their class?

 She was reincarnated by a coast druid, and it was only natural to join a crew due to not remembering her past right away. Her previous skill with dueling with a rapier mixed with her familiarity with locks led to her embellishing her new self into the type of sailor one would find in a storybook. 

7) What do they think of their party members?

She feels distinct lines in the sand amongst the party. At first, said lines seemed only about their sleeping habits (there was no other way the rooming arrangements could have shaken out and everyone live). But now, it feels very much like two separate factions working together. Separately: Q- she’s terrified of everything she does being in that book, and she has a hard time wrestling with his innocent naiveté when it reminds her of who she used to be. Briony- Not used to being around women in a strictly friendship sense, but is happy for her presence so Q has someone of a similar maturity. Braxton- He’s rarely there. Annoyed yet darkly amused when he takes point with trap checking and lock-picking; annoyed because she assumes he believes himself an expert in everything (maybe due to him being slightly misogynistic)...amused because she's better and it’s funny to watch him fail due to his own hubris. Jax- They instinctually understand each other. It’s complicated but in a good way as she thinks the world of him. Caspian- Like recognizes like but she feels they have different motivations behind collecting information...and it’s hard for her to move beyond a betrayal of trust. She does enjoy bantering with him and sharing a penchant for innuendo.

8) In what ways are they similar to you?

Insightful, observant, curious, collector of knowledge, has two sides to protect her softness

9) In what ways are they different from you?

Unashamed in the way she moves through the world, unabashedly flirtatious and teasing, confident, how she copes with things (tends to be physical indulgences), seeing trust as black and white, unafraid of confrontation or large birds

10) What do they look for in a romantic partner, if they have a romantic orientation?

She’s super pan and attracted to interesting people. She loves those who keep her guessing and have layers she can explore without ever becoming bored. With a lot of hidden quirks, they need to be fine in indulging her intense love for museums or sleeping in until the latest time possible. Because of stuff that happened in her past, she needs someone who she feels safe with and who can handle that baggage. Someone who can keep up with her banter but who can be soft with her; she wants an equal partner and not someone who she has to take the reins from all the time. So confidence, intelligence, depth, strength, compassion. 

11) If they had a patronus or animagus form, what would it be?

Ooooooooo....idk. Maybe a panther animagus? Something that slinks around with confidence but can be very soft. Patronus would be a cat like Talis or a hippogriff like Fantôme...or a peafowl.

12) What do they smell like?

The ocean and "oriental” notes with hints of coconut and citrus. Someone who has sailed the coastline would have had the opportunity to collects lots of sachets of things to scent their clothing along with various oils, etc which lends itself to the “oriental” perfume family.

13) What is their secret skill?

Sketching/drawing. She’s intensely private about it; but has charcoal, pencils, and a sketchbook in her pack that’s rather like a diary.  

14) What is their relationship to spirituality?

Non-existent save for some superstitions. Hosanna was religious but not superstitious; Talise reversed it as she had a hard time retaining her faith in anything.

15) If they were to be remembered for something, what would they want to be remembered for?

NOT for what happened in her previous life, unless that remembrance served the greater good. She’d just like to be remembered, in general, rather than lost to lines in a book. She wants people to speak kindly of her and the small amount of goodness she’s put into the world.

16) Why did they become an adventurer?

Chance meeting in Dolcino when she was taking a break from sailing haha And news of Yanis came up on their travels so she had to see it through.

17) What’s one thing about their backstory that came to you after you already started playing the campaign?

One notable thing--hadn’t even thought about her being an alcoholic (sober now) until making her playlist. For some reason, “Chandelier” kept coming up and it had to have been a sign because it’s deepened her in ways I wasn’t expecting. Also her tattoos. And her not being a morning person xD

18) Do you have any headcanons for them that haven’t come up in game? Or headcanons for other party members?

Absolutely. Her tattoos and why she has them (only one person in the party has probably seen them); what drove her to her alcoholism; and her sketching. Other party members: Q- that he has tried to teach some magic to Quirrel enough times that Quirrel can mimic the somatic components of some spells; that he’s instantly awake in the mornings with a pep in his step. Briony- that she genuinely doesn’t know or understand how privileged she is and so makes statements about some type of princess-y thing she thinks is normal but is very much not. Jax- he has Talise braid his hair before sleeping because it’s more effective than a ponytail in keeping it neat at night; he quietly chats with Francis when he needs to think through things weighing on his mind; he keeps a tiny, secret notebook to make notes to himself on things he remembers, things he enjoys, etc. Caspian- when he reads dialogue he really likes in books, he’ll speak it aloud until he figures out the exact voice for the character so he can use it for later; 

19) Any ships with your character? If a PC or NPC, what interaction launched it?

She’s the first character in a LONG time I legit ship with another PC. Whether it becomes romantic or remains platonic (it’s not just up to me or Talise), Jax is the most significant person in her life–excluding her brother. They just got each other from day one and they seem to be the only ones able to easily talk to the other, even when the subject is difficult. The canon you created about her feeling safe with Jax is 100% true; ever since Before, she has a hard time sleeping around other people but she trusts him enough to even share a bed…and he’s the only one with whom she would never be anything but truthful. At their core, they are people reinventing themselves after tragedy but don’t know if they’re doing it right. But Jax makes Talise feel it’s alright to be who she authentically is rather than acting the part she’s written for herself; and to find joy again in the things from her past. The ship’s legit launch was after their serious conversation about “equivalent exchange” in relationships (about Caspian) and has since been buoyed by all their side chats + interactions. “…are you just going to stare at me?” “Until you’re ready.”

20) What would your character consider their biggest success? Or what is your favorite success your character has had so far?

Finding her brother and beginning to reconcile Hosanna with Talise. My favorite success was that conversation mentioned above...or successfully surprising characters and peeps with her backstory drops.

[malisonquill]

Rebuild: Behind The Scenes

I thought just for some fun, I might post the plan I made for writing Rebuild. It has some silly alternate titles, some doodles I sketched out, and I thought some people might like to see how much the end product was different from the plan. 

I do also have a section of the plan just for ideas, but I haven’t included it here because it contains spoilers for the sequel(s). 

Hope you enjoy my ramblings below! (Obviously it contains major spoilers for all of Rebuild, so make sure you’re read all that before reading this!)

Rex Brickowski AU Outline

C1: Rexile (AKA Anikin Voice: "I hate Sand". AKA What to do when you're suddenly not dead)

Rex ends up back in his own original timeline in the outskirts of Syspocalypstar. He’s alone, no Rexcelsior, no velociraptors. That makes him sad. 

He looks to the city and thinks about everything.

Cat lady comes, he gets bricks and builds and awesome bike  and drives to the city. 

C2: Shattered (AKA Rex really likes bikes for some reason and also fucks shit up)

There, Lucy and the others are chillin in a park while Rex tears through the city exploring, turning heads. 

He goes up a ramp that sends him up over a building above the park. Whilst in the air he grabs his bike and does a flip. The others watch him. He lands on the road next to the park and spots Lucy, his eyes go wide. He does a skidding turn to pull up beside them. 

They say how awesome that was. They don’t recognise him and he plays along with that. He needs to get used to them and himself before he drops a bombshell on them. 

They show him around the city. He gets a black coffee from the shop. Freezes when he sees a laundromat (PTSD), he hallucinates the deafening roar of the Dryar of Undar until Unikitty distracts him and pulls him away and they continue the tour. 

At one point Everything is awesome plays, he acts aloof but taps his foot quietly and lucy notices. 

Eventually they get to the town square. There is a statue of Emmet. Rex is immediately taken aback and asks what it is (to gauge his friends reactions and also because he's genuinely surprised to see he's been acknowledged). 

Lucy says it honours the special, Emmet. That he was there friend. That they looked for him for a while, but eventually had to admit that he was gone, so they stopped looking. 

BIG ANGST TIME.

Rex snaps. He’s still bitter. He starts off vauge like “You gave up? Would he have given up on you?” but gets increasingly louder and madder. Revealing that he was trapped in Undar, how he feels abandoned and slowly revealing to the others that he’s Emmet. Lucy is like “Emmet…?” And he’s like “Emmet is gone! He’s dead!” 

He breaks the statue in one punch in anger. His friends are horrified. He looks between them and the statue, shocked and saddened by himself. “What have done?” (Internally). He drives off, leaving the others sad and confused. 

C3: Traces Of You (AKA Talking to your ex who you feel betrayed you, even though she thought you were dead… that's rough buddy)

Alternate titles, How can you stand there, a whisper from me? Gone But Not Forgotten

After a short while, giving everyone some time to breathe/ think, Lucy finds Rex in the outskirts. They talk. He explains how he toughened up, how he did some terrible things, how he wants to be better but doesn’t know how. How he’s ruined any chance he had with his friends because of the statue incident. Tears form in his eyes. Lucy goes to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder and says “Emmet...” Queue the “I’m not Emmet anymore and I dont know how to be” line.

Lucy convinces him to not be just one, be a combination. That his friends can help him through this and him to be happier again. He says he’s still can’t fully/ needs time to trust them again, but he’s willing to try. Oh and to call him Rex, cause he wants to be different from movie Emmet. 

C4: Building Blocks (AKA DON'T TOUCH ME WHEN I'M WRITING ABOUT SPACESHIPING!!!!)

Lucy and the others ask Rex to build something with them. He decides on a spaceship, they let him lead. Friend interactions. 

C5: Time Heals All Wounds (AKA So it turns out you based your entire new personality on your friends and also you finally acknowledge your PTSD)

Over a longer time period (make this clear), montage of helping with each individual. Them understanding Rex and who he is more, maybe after he tries to act exactly like Emmet would but it’s unnatural for him? Finding out about raptor training. Helping him cope with his PTSD (Dryar, paralyzation, loneliness) and abandonment issues.

(after writing half the chapter, i realised) His hand injury and recovery mirror emotional healing! )

https://askmarietheapprentice.tumblr.com/post/183050688583/meta-monday-rex-dangervest-based-his-persona-on 

Order: 

Fist, alone with Benny, flying spaceship they all built. (Who Rex developed his spaceship love from.) Emotional thing dealt with: ?

Unikitty. He learnt to harness/ weaponize rage from. Unikitty encouraging him to release some anger and destroy some rubble. Helps him get his anger feels out.

Metalbeard. About being a captain of pirates/ raptors. Talk about how he misses them.

Batman. Learnt how to be tough fighter and suppress deep emotional issues. See below for events. Then they talk about talking through things with others, stuff B learnt in Lego batman movie.

Maybe he’s left alone for ten mins whilst a friend goes to grab a brick or something and is terrified they wont come back. He’s relieved but visibly shaken when they do return. 

Maybe a change over between friends. One has to go and leaves Rex to meet the batman outside of a shop. As he waits his mind wanders thinking Batman has forgotten about him, doesn't want to meet with him, or even like him etc. As this happens he hallucinates hearing the dryer roar. He stands frozen in place, covering his ears as his vision gets darker. Maybe this causes him to glitch to the real world and back every few seconds. The roar gets louder and louder and louder. Batman comes, sees Rex, is concerned and tries to get his attention by touching his shoulder. Rex freaks out, snapping out of his hallucination shouting/ screaming and madly thrashing punches. He smashes a bin or lamppost or car to pieces before Batman can calm him and he realises he's fine. Rex apologies.

Lucy. Made a super cool alias like Wyldstyle, and hides his insecurities under confident exterior like her. Maybe they talk on their way to her surprise. She asks why he changed his name and himself? He explains his thoughts on Undar, how at the time he thought his friends were right and so he toughened up. Made a cool name like she did. He realises a lot of his Rex traits are semi based on his friends. Maybe talk about how it's good to be confident but also not bad to be vulnerable/ talk about problems with others. He realises he's already been doing this with others? Or just have mostly fun not angst for them here!? Meh, idk yet.

Ends with Lucy giving him that cute little house he made for her, that he’d almost forgotten about. Says it’s just a basis and he can change it if he wants. Talk. Suggests they could be platonic (for now) roommates. She leaves him for the night, he’s now ok (ish) with being left alone. 

C6: True Colours (AKA Title made it sound like Rex would turn out evil but surprise! He actually just wanted to look pretty. AKA Rex stares in a mirror for an awkwardly long time)

When Lucy returns, Rex looks different. He briefly went to the Man Upstairs realm and used markers etc, to change his appearance. He wanted some brighter colours to look happier, and more like a combo of Emmet and Rex. He explains this, and decides he wants to be called Rex Brickowski to symbolise this combo of all his aspects. 

Basically this first bit is the man I used to be from count of Monte cristo musical.

(Rex and Lucy designs and also size comparison.)

Maybe some Rex and friends hanging out, it’s better than before. Group karaoke? Tries to warm up to Sweet Mayhem?

C7: Epilogue (AKA The end happens. Everything is awesome is still a bop)

Rex and CO are hopeful for the future. Rex knows who he is now and thinks he can be happy again and trust his friends. He’s a mix of mature and innocent/ sweet. He can now enjoy ‘childish’ things and tough things. He’s happy and thinks everything might be ok now. 

Maybe he goes to the coffee shop, orders Lucy something and a black coffee with 25 sugars for himself and returns home, listening to rock music on his headphones.

(End on poignant thing.)

Side Notes/ Reminders For Myself

“According to a draft from the first film's script, Emmet is 22 years of age in that film, thus making him 27 in the sequel if accepted.” My AU Rex spent 2 years on Undar, plus 5 getting tough before the movie happens. Making him 34 at the start of the AU.

Rex was in his past changing things. But when Emmet was saved, it was no longer his past/ his timeline. So he faded and was sent back to his original timeline. All the stuff he did in the movie timeline still happened, we see three raptors are still there with Ms Scratchen-Post at the end. So the raptors stay where they are in the movie timeline, because they aren’t like Rex who is being written out of the movie timeline’s future. Which is why Rex is alone at the start of this AU. 

Very important! Rex's trust of his friends. My take: friends are the most important thing to Emmet. With friends, he was happy even during the apocalypse. Without them, he becomes jaded, tough. Lucy is who he was closest to/ loved. None of his friends, but especially her not coming for him and moving on hurt him the most. As Rex, he was most mad at her (see him scowling at her during the movie). But then they all try to come back for movie Emmet. Lucy makes it through and saves him. She saved him. This changes post back to the futuring Rex's view. The fact the movie Lucy saved him plus the fact he loved her and cared for her the most before, means AU Rex is inclined to trust her most. 

Titles for 3 stories: Rebuild. Rekindle. Re-----. (I'm an idiot for planning 3 of these!!!!!)

Rebuild: Rex's relationships and himself up again. 

Rekindle: his and Lucy's love for each other. 

Re-----: ((REDACTED BECAUSE IT’S A SPOILER! You’re gonna have to wait to find out what it is!))

INFO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw-r_G7rfnU - Chris Pratt Singing

Dino facts:

https://www.psd1.org/cms/lib/WA01001055/Centricity/Domain/36/SS_How_Fast_Did_Trex_Grow.pdf

http://cycles.westinmathies.com/Info_Pages.asp?ptype=Velociraptor_Cycl

SPELLING = Armamageddon (according to the subs)

-----------------

And that’s it! This is the rambling mess that brought you Rebuild. Hope it was interesting to see.

As another note of my writing process, I did a lot of jumping around. If I had an idea for some lines of dialogue pop into my head, I wrote it down before I forgot and then slightly altered it and filled in the gaps later. In fact that whole bit between Lucy and Rex in chapter 3 was almost all dialogue (with a few notes like “He turned. She smiles” Etc in between) and then later after writing some of chapter 4, I went back and filled in all the gaps. 

I would really recommend writing down whatever pops into your head like this if you want to write things. You might think “Oh, i’ll remember to put this in when I get to writing here!”, that is a lie. You won’t. Or it’ll be different to that brilliant thing you came up with whilst day dreaming out a window. It’s definitely better to jot it down and have it, then decide to edit it later if you don’t like it, than lose it entirely. Just make sure when reading over your chapter/ story that everything flows together nicely. :)

This method also meant I wrote chapters 5, 6 and 7 simultaneously. I had about half of chapter 6 and 7 done whilst I was still making my way through 5. (Probably because 5 was so big!) But then when I was done with 5, I finished off 6, then 7. It also really helped when I came up with the idea to put the first line of the story as the last line too. It gave me a direction to go in for the last chapter (after Rex get’s back from the coffee shop) and also was a nice way to end it off. 

Anyway! Hopefully I see you all again for Rekindle! Which by the way, if there is anything involving the characters from this story that you might want to see, please let me know! I might just fit it in somewhere! :D

[113-things-to-see]

2019

... aka the one where my blog is still broken. Don’t fret, not all is lost, but due to technical difficulties I had to re-import my blog content and 70 posts just fail to show any photos. I will eventually fix all of them but have decided to completely revamp my blog at another point, especially since I will be busy writing my Master’s thesis during the coming semester. So until then, we still have Tumblr. Anyway, I decided to continue the yearly tradition of reflecting on the past 12 months and setting new resolutions (how original!).

In my New Year’s post of 2018 I described a challenging year and was firmly set on improving my self-care in 2019, fully committing to mental health recovery. 2019 was the year where I would start DBT, hopefully the turning point in my mental health journey after feeling stuck in a continuous downwards spiral. I went into 2019 feeling hopeful and expecting change. Spoiler alert: I am in a much better place now. However, getting there has been the most difficult challenge I have ever encountered.

When I set off into the New Year feeling positive and hopeful, I did not foresee that a) this would last for about a week and b) that the turning point I needed lay elsewhere. The packed days leading up to Christmas behind me, the events from the last year started to catch up with me. Re-traumatised by experiences in the mental health system I felt more misunderstood and lonely than I had in a long time and it felt like like the carefully assembled house of cards was finally collapsing, destroying whatever it could in its wake. Although DBT was giving me skills I desperately needed, I found myself at a point where I was unable to listen, so caught up in the over-powering emotional intensity that comes with BPD, so caught up in the downward spiral, so caught up in feeling undeserving of help. The nexts months were chaos. Somewhere amidst the storm, I managed to celebrate my friend’s birthday and then my own 23rd, which was the biggest emotional roller-coaster of all. My mum and me went to Sketch and saw Les Mis, the latter meaning a dream coming true. But blowing out my candles at midnight, all I could think of was how on earth I would make it to 24.

It wasn’t DBT that presented the turning point in my life. Neither was reaching rock bottom or my turbulent birthday or seeing crisis services. No, the turning point happened only when I decided on it. The truth is that BPD (and probably most mental illnesses) will always convince you that you aren’t sick enough. That others have it worse. That xy needs to happen before things change. That you haven’t quite reached rock bottom yet. All in all, I was waiting for a turning point that would never come. That could only created by myself, by deciding that enough was enough. By deciding that I deserved better. By committing to recovery despite my emotional/impulsive side definitely not wanting recovery but quite the opposite. And this was when things finally started to shift. No, it hasn’t been easy and I can’t say that there haven’t been any setbacks. But that’s okay because recovery is 5 steps forwards and 3 steps back. I have now been doing DBT for almost a year and the sessions and skills I have learned have been life-changing (along with medication). Although BPD is still my daily companion, we can co-exist now. I am no longer thrown around between my emotions, no longer in so much distress that pain is the only way I know to cope, no longer feeling unworthy in a group of people. BPD is not me, I am so much more. To spread awareness, I continued to be vocal about my struggles on social media and shared my experiences in blog posts that many others related to. And it was the realisation how commonly people with BPD suffered in the MH system, ranging from re-traumatisation to being left acutely unwell with no support, that made me start my own petition - Lives on the (Border)line. (Eternally grateful if you signed it!).

In non-mental health related news, 2019 was the year I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Although my graduation day was one of the hottest of the year, I got to celebrate if with my family and best friend, drinking cocktails above the roofs of London - it was wonderful and almost let me forget the stressful months of revision leading up to this moment. But despite the stress, studying Psychology has been of the best decisions of my life, allowing me to grow so much academically and personally. Plus I will miss my class a lot, they taught me what kindness and looking out for each other mean. I have now started my Master’s in Clinical Forensic Psychology which includes a placement in a medium secure unit and so far, I have been enjoying it and can see myself working in that field – or another field of clinical psychology – in the future. I can’t believe that I am about to begin my last semester and that by the end of 2020, I will be looking for my first graduate job. I am proud of myself for coming this far and I am so grateful for the opportunity to help others recover.

2019 came with so much more than mental health recovery and a degree. As so often, it is the small things that made the biggest difference. Study sessions that ended in Thai food and wine on the balcony, picnics in Hyde Park, movies, musicals, birthday celebrations, Christmas carols at the Royal Albert Hall, falafel wraps (if you know you know), amazing books and adopting new plants (that are still somewhat alive). I read more classics than ever, partly due to the fact that I struggled with physical illness this year. Following sinus surgery a couple of weeks ago (this one had been coming for years really), I am no longer feeling ill every day and I am excited to be able to well, breathe. Despite illness, I had an incredible summer during which some of my closest friends and my sister came to stay – think mostly really good vegan food with the occasional play at the Globe Theatre (that makes me sound a lot more fancy than I am) and walks along the river. Last but definitely not least, my brother and me spent a week in Crete – think more excellent vegan food, paired with blue lagoons, beaches and cats. Generally, 2019 was a year of friendship for me, both online and offline and then there are those friendships that start online but turn out to be one of the best offline as well and feel like you have known each other for 8 years rather than 8 months. The kind of friendships that become your rock during difficult times (and make you get doughnut deliveries).

Again, I didn’t do too badly on my new year’s resolutions from 2018. I have said that 2019 would be the year of healing and talking openly about mental health and it has been, although I still have a long way to go. My second resolution last year had been to take care of my body and I have, even though being ill forced me to go at a different pace than thought. Lastly, I have managed to meditate more and at least I got further than ‘Necessito un sombrero’ on Duolingo this year. So far so good. So what about 2020? The new decade? (sorry I had to). This year, I not only want to focus on recovery but also on self-acceptance and improving potentially the most important relationship in my life, the one with myself. I want to slow down, take things ad they come and practice gratitude. At the same time, I will continue to raise awareness for mental illness – and mostly BPD – online and share my petition to hopefully get our voices heard. I do believe that together we can make a difference – even if the process is slow, each step will get us there and break the stigma. As said last year, I want to nourish my body and take care of it and I can’t wait to pick up swimming again (and please make me cook something different than pasta every single day, I need ideas (although pasta is pretty darn amazing)). I am also planning to continue my zero-waste journey and start buying my clothes second-hand, something I have wanted to do for a very long time. Last but not least,I want to improve my Spanish, especially since I am planning to visit one of my closest friends in South America this year and talking about hats won’t really sustain a conversation with her family. But until then: hasta la vista.

[vince-thrilligan]

TROUBLE HAS FOUND US: The National Learn to Cope with the Trump Era

[These are their coping poses?] - - - Photo courtesy of Graham MacIndoe; ...shitty resolution courtesy of Daily Beast

The Election

The members of the National all originally hail from Cincinnati, Ohio, and have always carried themselves as Midwestern underdogs, relative to their buzzier peers. As such, one might wonder if they would have had a sense that discontent was brewing in the Rust Belt last year, and that perhaps they wouldn’t be shocked when their home state would prove to be one of the key land grabs that Donald Trump would flip to achieve Electoral College victory.

But for guitarist and songwriter Bryce Dessner, that did not turn out to be the case. A few days before the election, his band played a get-out-the vote election rally in their hometown. “I remember the director for Ohio was there. They didn’t seem worried, and neither did we,” he says while calling from France during a break from work.

On election day, he voted early and then drove to his home studio in Woodstock for a session with his friend, the songwriter Sufjan Stevens. Such was his confidence that all was well that “I didn’t even check my e-mail or check returns until 10:30 at night. I remember just saying, ‘What?’ I was so sure. We were really, really blown away. I mean, just completely devastated.”

Frontman Matt Berninger would spend the next few months using Stevens’ album Carrie & Lowell and copious cannabis-based self-medication to avoid “staring at the ceiling with tears in my eyes” every night, he says.

There were other coping mechanisms as well, which brings us to “Turtleneck,” one of the highlights of their upcoming album Sleep Well Beast and perhaps the closest this inherently ornate band has ever come to hardcore punk, or as Bryce says “an angry, raw song that just felt good to play after the election.” The music for the song had been around for a bit, but wasn’t under serious consideration for the album until Berninger finished the lyrics (which excoriate “another man in shitty suits that everybody’s cheering for”) right after the election. It marked a turning point during the making of Beast, and one that reaffirmed what Bryce calls their new guiding ethos. “Let’s make the record what it wants to be, and not worry so much.”

[See full article for the usu band history/Brooklyn/Strokes-envy/Long Pond/etc.]

Sound & Space

“I hear the progression in all those records, but I do feel that once we made Trouble Will Find Me, we all kind of felt like we have to shake it up somehow and maybe throw out the playbook,” says guitarist-songwriter Aaron Dessner.

After making chunks of the previous National albums in his tiny garage studio where the band “couldn’t really play together,” he wanted a place where they could work without worrying about deadlines or the price of studio time, and could follow their whims down the rabbit hole. “There was definitely talk of how we wanted it to be more fun to make,” says Aaron.

Even in the halcyon days when the band members all lived on the same street, they tended to email each other demos back and forth rather than get together in a room to hash out ideas, but “we actually spend more time together now working then we did before, ironically,” says Bryce. Beast has plenty of moments where the members (which include another pair of brothers, drummer Bryan Devendorf and bassist Scott Devendorf) all recorded together live in the studio, as opposed to their previous approach of individually adding layers and endlessly tweaking arrangements. The results are immediately grabbing missives ”Walk It Back” and ”Day I Die,” which are striking coming from an act whose dense albums are often referred to as ”growers.”

Though Aaron is quick to point out that there are many moments on Beast “which are composed or labored over,” it took a while for his band to get comfortable with ”spontaneous and random accidents. I think over the years we’ve maybe realized that it’s better to leave a lot of things in rather than clean them up.” The meticulous Dessner brothers learned to ease up and embrace things like unruly guitar solos (before they favored elegant, inter-connected swells) after organizing and producing last year’s Grateful Dead tribute album Day of the Dead and backing up the Dead’s Bob Weir on tour. “We just realized that it’s a breath of fresh air to allow there to be space in our music for things to happen,” Aaron says. “I was drinking some beer and decided to rip a guitar solo, and everyone was kind of like, ‘That’s kind of good. Let’s keep it.’” In addition to the more straightforward moments, Beast also finds the group embracing seething keyboards, skronky noise and dynamic electronic programming on “The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness” and “Guilty Party,” and even ballads such as “Dark Side of the Gym” sway with an ease that feels hard won and refreshing. So even they were surprised when Beast’s lead single’s “The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness,” recently reached the No. 1 on Billboard’s Adult Alternative Songs. That’s nice and all, but not why they decided to change things up. “The reason we’re all making these songs together is that we’re all chasing these weird sensations. We’re not chasing chart positions,” Berninger says, before adding, “I’m not pretending that we don’t pay attention and care about that stuff. Well, care and pursue are two different terms. We pursue that stuff, but we don’t honestly care.”

Lyrics

For previous albums, Berninger would write lyrics and melodies to ideas presented by one of the Dessners, keeping multiple notebooks of lyrics with a colored Post-It note system indicating which iteration of a song he’s working on. Around the time of Trouble, though, he scrapped that approach in favor of keeping a rapidly updating Word document of ideas and jumping back and forth between multiple GarageBand files. “The process is: don’t edit yourself for a year or two, and throw ideas at lots of stuff, and then go back and start digging in and crafting. I’ve been following the organic way my brain wants to do stuff; just a laptop and fluidity,” he says. “When it’s scribbled in a notebook somewhere, and you have to put in a yellow Post-It note and not a Blue Post-It note because you need to remember it’s this song and not this song, you start to get pissed off at the ideas.” Since they met, around the time of Alligator, Berninger has been collaborating with his wife Carin Besser, a poet and a former editor for The New Yorker. He jokingly says the band calls her “Yoko Ono,” but he compared her to Tom Waits’ wife and editor Kathleen Brennan. ”One day we might go through and figure out which lines are hers and which lines are mine. 90% are mine, but she’s got 50% of the best ones,” he says. “The record is about my marriage, and there are break-up songs, but I’ve written so many songs that don’t align perfectly with reality. She doesn’t let me get away with writing about anything that’s not about anything. As long as I write about it well, I can write anything I want to.”

Politics & Unreleased tracks

Though he felt “struck by lightning” about the election results, Berninger says in retrospect it seems obvious. In 1991 when he was attending Miami University, he attended a rally protesting a “free speech” walk by the Klu Klux Klan in Oxford, Ohio. “The Republican party has been inviting white supremacy out of the shadows for a long time, because they need the votes,” he says. “It’s crazy how the only people who haven’t left Trump are the evangelicals and the fucking Nazis. Because, I’m sorry, the Republican party has been whistling to them for 40 years. Donald Trump is what they’ve made.” Boxer was one of the defining portraits of Bush-era malaise and free-floating terror. And although Beast has “Turtleneck” and a handful of other moments of political commentary, it’s not the response to Trump’s America that some fans might be expecting. The National recorded approximately 15 other song sketches for Beast, many of which feature the band playing together in punk-inspired fashion as a visceral reaction to the, er, national mood leading up to election. “The funny thing is, when Trump won everything changed: the awareness of who we are as a nation, I think, suddenly shifted. A light went on for a lot of people. ‘Oh, we are in bad shape. The soul of our country is very ill,’” Berninger says. “We had no idea how ill we are. In a lot of ways, I felt the record needed to get more sensitive.” Those outraged songs were put aside as the band gravitated towards more meditative ones. “We had to turn the dial in a different direction,” Berninger says. “I felt there was a need to go inward and go into more of a dreamlike state, and process it from a weird, emotionally internal place first, before I can package an idea of what the fuck is happening. I can’t do that yet.” Maybe next time. Aaron Dessner says the band is interested in possibly finishing and releasing those songs when Berninger is ready. “So maybe next time we’ll have some answers,” he says with a weary laugh. “Probably not. Jesus, I don’t know.” [X]

[otc-dramaturgy]

Spotlight Saturday

Today we’re spotlighting two more of our terrific actors! (I know, two? You have to read two whole spotlights? That’s so much work! But trust me, they’re worth it, these folks are amazing)

Our first spotlight is Dylan Arredondo, one of our National Players! Dylan is playing Cassio in Othello, Tom in The Great Gatsby, and an ensemble member in Alice in Wonderland!

What’s your hometown? Where did you go to school (and why) and what degree did you get?  My hometown is Las Vegas, Nevada. I currently reside in New York City, after earning a BFA in Drama from NYU Tisch School of the Arts. I want to be in rooms of creativity where everyone’s minds and bodies are firing on all cylinders constantly, where we're questioning our limits -- rooms that are dangerous with ambition. And so far I've had the most frequent access to getting into those rooms in New York, so that's where I've remained for the time being.

What most excites you about a year on the road with the National Players? What is the most daunting? I judge most experiences in life based on the following makeup: 33% of it is what you're doing, 33% of it is whom you're with, and 33% of it is where you're doing it. What I'm most excited about switches between those everyday: the texts & adventures, the ensemble & audiences, the venues & travels. Also, the most daunting is the most exciting. 

What did you do when you received the offer to be a National Player? Emotionally, of course, I was so excited and humbled to receive that offer, but I was a bit terrified because it was (is) such a significant commitment. Practically, I called several mentors that I respect and asked their advice on how I should move forward, as well as reached out to some colleagues who had worked with National Players before. Everyone's feedback regarding National Players was exponentially positive, which is partially why I'm here now!

Tell us about your most defining theatre experience: I was working on a postmodern production of The Little Foxes by Lillian Hellman in which we exploded and deconstructed the text and tried to piece it back together -- and that was a workout. Four weeks in, we had the whole show blocked and ready to go. Then we trashed it (or shelved it maybe?) We blocked an entirely different sketch of the show the next week. Then trashed/shelved it. Then blocked an entirely different sketch of the show the next week. And I think none of us realized that we were always building on these previous sketches. It was the week before tech week, I called a pal crying, saying something doubtful like, "I'm not sure if this is going to come together, which, you know, could potentially be totally humiliating." And then that week, we returned to sketch 1, but with this new knowledge of all these other iterations, and suddenly, everything was so much clearer, and where there were holes we had these other beautiful pieces of content that we could steal from to patch it up. Then we added a very smart design during tech week. And somehow everything came together and I was really proud of this product we were sharing with an audience. And it was a grueling process because for once, as an actor, I was being asked to exercise my creativity at every juncture on that road. (No one had ever asked me to craft the rules of the world in which the play existed; I always just crafted the embodied character inside the rules of the world as the script dictated.) And I feel like that feeling is something I've tried to attain as an artist in every project I've worked on since: holding myself accountable to being my most creative self at every step of the journey.

What's the one thing you MUST bring on the road? I have this one 80s Adidas jacket in a heinous off-white cream and navy and the day I part with it will be the day I die.

Our second spotlight of the day is on our amazing Sonny, Michael Mainwaring!

When was your first time onstage?  I started doing stage shows in elementary school. I did alllll the shows.

What was your most defining performing experience? Playing Angel in RENT with Harbor Lights Theatre Company in the Fall of 2015. It was an incredibly transformative experience. It gave me so much light and I found so much evolution in that process.

Who inspires you? Anyone who is willing to commit to their indivuality and show up for themselves. I find the most inspiring people to be those who consciousnessly take the world by storm and refuse to apologize for who they are, what they believe in and how they feel and express.

So much of In the Heights is about “running to make it home.” Where would you say your home is? I'm nomadic by trade so I go where the wind blows and where the energy flows. So..... earth?

When you “grab [your] coffee and [you] go,” how do you take it?  I work in the coffee industry when I'm not performing, so for me a SOLID and delicious shot of espresso is BOMMMBBB.

Our third spotlight (did I just say third I absolutely did tricked you all!) is on Danny Bolero, our splendid Kevin Rosario!

When was your first time onstage? If you'll accept all the Sundays after in my Grandparents living room, then I was five years old.  If that humbling time of discovery doesn’t count, then I was probably nine years old.  I had joined the neighborhood Parks and Rec. Drama Club.  My first show was as a Halloween Kitty to the title role in "The Year Santa Clause Slept Through Christmas"  I was a hit. MGM, Paramount they all wanted a piece of me, well at least in the daily fantasies that replayed in my head. I've always struggled with extreme shyness and anxiety, through the years, I have learned to cope with it better,  acting seemed the best way to pull myself out of myself.  It was much easier to be the buffoon in a show then to be bullied in school as a buffoon.

What was your most defining performing experience?  My most defining moment on stage would have to be coming FULL circle and playing Kevin on Broadway!  You see, I have had a long love affair with IN THE HEIGHTS,  I am originally from Los Angeles, and in 2007 I had never heard of, nor did I know anything about  IN THE HEIGHTS.  Before the show made the move to Broadway, they were having auditions in LA . Without an agent, I decided to crash the auditions, not knowing it was dance call. I just showed up at the studio where the auditors were being held, and I will never forget how mesmerizing the dance auditions were, me with my nose pressed up against the window.  One of the casting directors came to the door and asked if I was there to audition, “yes” I said “but I don’t do that”  as I pointed to the dancers inside.  She took my information and  gave me a link to the Kevin material on-line.  The next day I auditioned and two days later I got a call back.  But that was as far as it went. The show opened on Broadway without me, and won the Tony's without me and had another round of “replacement” auditions in Los Angeles  a few weeks before Thanksgiving. This time I had been to New York and had seen the show and I knew I had to be a part of it.   I showed up to the LA auditions and three call backs later, I found myself being flown to NYC to audition for the entire production team.  There must have been 40 people in the room, with Lin Manuel Miranda sitting front and center.  It was not meant to be this time, the role went to good friend Rick Negron.  Two months later “Heights” called and asked if I wanted to be a vacation swing. “Yes.” .I said, "Hmmmmm Hell Yes!"  That week I flew NYC, slept on a friends couch and learned the and stayed with the show almost 6 months during which time I was offered Kevin on the 1st national tour, and later back to Broadway as a replacement. Full Circle!

Who inspires you? Growing up in East LA, Broadway and musical theater was not my parents first choice for me as a career.    But my Godmother, never judged, and kept saying “Mijo"( which means son in Spanish), you can be whatever you want to be, you just have to believe it and work at it,  MAKE it happen.  I’ll never forgot those words of wisdom.  My parents as well were an inspiration, , working hard to give my brothers and I  a home and a good education. Lastly much of my inspiration came from my mentors, Beto Araiza and the late "Margo" Albert, a famous actress from the 40s whose main purpose was to teach me the technique and tools i needed to compete.  They taught me the importance of making work happen. For instance,  when your not working, make it happen, write a show, a book, a screenplay, coach,  volunteer, study..work at moving forward.

So much of In the Heights is about “running to make it home.” Where would you say your home is? This is a little difficult to answer, what with the kind of work I do,  I truly believe that saying, HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.  As I mentioned earlier, I am from Los Angeles, which I consider home, where all my family and friends still live.  When I got the call to go to New York, I really had no other choice but to put all my stuff in storage and go.  .I told myself I would give myself a year in New York and if nothing happens, I will head back home.  Well  I just celebrated my sixth year living in New York, and consider NYC my home as well.  I still have my storage in LA, but I have adopted a new family member, my little Bijon Frisse mix,  Mozart who goes with me where ever I go.

When you “grab [your] coffee and [you] go,” how do you take it? Light and Sweet with a lil bit of Cinnamon!

Aaaaaand now that’s it for this Spotlight Saturday! Look out tomorrow for a recap of the week!

[reafu]

If there’s one thing that’s great about summer and being done school, it’s that you can return to drawing what you want and working on and finishing art projects you’ve had on the backburner for a while.  This being on of them.  One I’ve turned over and over since 2005-07.  And with characters that have been around just as long!  For this post, I will introduce them to you and with that, two new tags for the blog, one being “isidore project” and some good ol’ “world building”.

So what is the Isidore Project?

Back in my earlier days on deviantArt, as I started to see that my art needed a lot of work in the anatomy department, these girls came about as a way to improve in art and because I generally like making original art.  Over time, I started thinking of how these three would interact, with some rough ideas.  2006 I came up with actual names for them, little profiles and a story.  

In 2014, as a final project for one of our first year courses we had to research a project  where we’d have to raise money and explain the project. For me, I did crowdfunding to publish a web comic...the web comic Gin and company are in. All in all, Isidore Project is the result of years of drawing and the need to “go somewhere” with it. 

 About Isidore Project

While I’m still trying to develop things I can share a little of what I have in mind.  Imagine in the distant future like the 2500′s or the 30th century where VR and all technology has come to a point where everything involved a computer.  Now imagine a school where the students enrolled are encouraged to harness their technological talents and develop new ones as the future is online.  That school, is the St. Isidore School for the Technologically Gifted   Now, what would happen if some even cause a global, permanent internet crash?  Would would happen to the school? It’s students? The world?

As far as I can tell, no comic, graphic novel, cartoon, manga or anime has a premise like this, while they say no idea is completely original, I’m doing my best to make this interesting.  

So is this place a Catholic School? Who is Saint Isidore?

Answer to the first question, no it’s not a catholic school!  One thing I have noticed in a lot school stories in anime is that...Japan likes to tack on saint names to their schools!  Always found this interesting as Japan isn’t a big Christian country.  One time, I was watching something and I swear they called the school “Saint Angel Heart”, or something along those lines.  As for St. Isidore of Seville, you might want to check his patronage, it ties into the story nicely.

I’ve got a blog made where I could post the comic and any supplemental material , all I’d need is to purchase a domain from my webhost.  Debating whether or not to do that or use my hosting to make a site.  To my comicker friends, which is easier?

Now onto the girls and some notes about them if you can’t read my handwriting!

G I N  H O S H I *pronounced “GIIN” not “JIN”

First picture: HERE

Age: 17

-her most distinctive feature is her blue(right eye)-green(left eye) heterochromia iridum

-she’s sensitive about said heterochromia 

-she’s rather emo with a punky/gothic(lolita) fashion sense

-never without that leather bell collar

-loves cats all cats...will code a cat program to...cat?

-she’s at St. Isidore because she’s into coding, programming and “smart techology”

Y A S U  M A M O R U 

First picture: HERE

Age: 18

-either because she doesn’t take care of herself or because of her thick, shaggy hair, poor Yasu always has this unkempt look to her blonde locks

-has a very eclectic fashion sense 

-she serves two masters she loves traditional art and wants to be a painter, but loves online gaming even more and would like to develop an MMO while at school 

-a slight, just a slight gaming addiction..as in not sleeping for 3 days because she needed to raid that dungeon for the xp event! 

-sadly this gaming addiction has caused her to repeat a grade 

T A M A  Y A S U O 

First picture: HERE

Age: 19

-50% “oujou” and 50% diva 

-complete with hime, long, silky, jet black hair and hair ribbon for good measure

-the daughter of a local politician and fashion designer with a lot of clout at St. Isidore as her family has invested a lot into the school over the years 

-may or may not blackmail staff and students for her own gain

-for some reason she can’t stand Gin

-unfortunetely this is her second run at her final year, but no one needs to know that, and money keeps people quiet

-with aspirations to be a model, Tama studies how to effectively use social media marketing and develop a better web presence within the St. Isidore student body and online in general...you guys need to like her pages. ALL OF THEM!

The sketch I have accompanying all of this I made earlier this year as at least making a start on this comic. The biggest thing for this I can see being research into what kind of things can cause the internet to go offline and how society would cope with that.  The research into that and general comic making.  Did you know this would be my 3rd crack at making a comic? You know what they say about threes? I know one thing’s for sure, I’m doing this, I’m not putting it off any longer!  So what do you guys think?

[twelvesignsrp]

congratulations q, aquarius is now nolitha “nola” foxcroft with the faceclaim amandla stenberg

APPLICATION

Character Sign: Aquarius

Character Name: Nolitha “Nola” Foxcroft

NOLITHA: “beam of light” | A name of Xhosa origin, the meaning behind their name is clearly different from those of their twin older brothers: Ezekiel meaning “God will strengthen” and Omari meaning “God the highest.” Nola presumed this shift in naming scheme was by divine intervention. Zeke and Omari were more straightforward than Nola; their brothers’ dreams were tangible, their feet ever-pinned to the ground. Stable, solid, zealous but strategic. God was their compass and their futures were mapped. Meanwhile, Nola was a mistral wind, strong but cold, quick but aimless. A spark led by no one and headed nowhere; an uncontrollable beam of light

↳  Note: I chose a Xhosa name because Amandla’s name has Xhosa and Zulu roots. Although I could not find any sources ethnically linking Amandla to South Africa, I find it reasonable that a black mother would choose an African name with a meaning like Amandla’s or Nolitha’s for the significance of it. Furthermore, I went against choosing Xhosa or Zulu names for Nola’s brothers to mitigate any insinuation that their family is of South African descent.

FOXCROFT: “residing beside an enclosure or croft” | This Anglo-Saxon surname is a topographic/habitation name. The reclusive implication of this name is representative of Nola’s reserved (and even enigmatic) nature. Moreover, the connection to a fox is fitting because of their cleverness and independence.

Birthday: 10/02/1997 (x)

Sexuality: Demiromantic Asexual

Gender: Non-binary (they/them)

Moon Sign: Gemini (x)

Faceclaim: Amandla Stenberg

Power: Illusion Projection

↳  Capabilities: “User can create illusions, causing targets to see, hear, touch, smell and/or taste things which do not actually exist or cause them to perceive things differently from what they truly are.”

↳  Use: Believing can be seeing. Nola’s power is about as erratic and enigmatic as they are. They’re highly imaginative and many illusions are created unwittingly from their tangled strings of thought. Until recently, they’d chalked up the strange occurrences and friends’ fabrications to luck and circumstance (maybe even lack of sleep). They’re still getting the hang of consciously creating illusions, but even then, they’re typically smaller things like the scent of expensive perfume or the sight of clear complexion even when they’re at their most stressed. I can envision Nola using this to win people over or have a bit of fun as they already have been.

What do they study? Law. It’s tough enough to challenge them intellectually, while still offering them an ambiguous future career path. (They like to keep their options open.)

Biography:

Nolitha Foxcroft was sunlight through a storm cloud, some sort of miracle so untouchable they could slip through your fingers as subtly as the seasons change. That is to say, their summer heat arrived long before most winters even began to melt into dewy spring. Perhaps that’s precisely why their mother named them Nolitha. A beam of light. A child who’d treat Eden like a playground, but belong there just the same. It was a shame they weren’t born in Eden—or anywhere close to it. Manchester wasn’t so picturesque with empty pockets. Their family knew this well enough for long enough. They were somewhere between lower and lower-middle class, content but never quite comfortable.

Nonetheless, the Foxcrofts were torchbearers of heart as much as they were exemplars of resilience. Dad was a math teacher for at-risk kids, while Mum was a proud community organizer. They found their wealth in giving to others, true humanitarians that made do with what they had. For every flood of job cuts, every frigid winter, every new body the streets sputtered out, Nola’s family was the first to stand up. Rallies, protests, marches, and fundraisers—the Foxcrofts were ever-present and loud with purpose. They were a staple in their community, which may be why they weren’t so determined to up and leave. Here, there was a rhythm they knew they could follow. Here, in tattered Manchester, they would always have a name and a purpose.

Beam of light that they were, that their family was, Nola was never destined to become just another warning tale of inner city youth. A slanted mirror image of their family’s steady strength and spirit, Nola better mimicked the anatomy of a revolution: the spark, flicker, blaze, an untamable wildfire child who lit up their luckless streets with the the kind of breezy, blooming magic no dealer could press or package. They were notoriously too smart or too unsound; too quirky or too reserved; too bubbly or too temperamental. A walking paradox with a glittering smile, they were never too concerned about the opinions of others that it mattered. Nola was perpetually misunderstood, yet somehow universally loved.

The last born after twin older brothers, Ezekiel and Omari, Nola was the prototype of happy-go-lucky, giggles-and-glee youngest children. They were lightning foreshadowing thunder, while their brothers were the roaring thunderclaps reverberating beneath your feet. The twins were grounded and concrete. Nola existed between millisecond-long blinks. Though Nola was the brightest of the three, Zeke and Omari were the ones with drive. Predictably, they set aside university to follow in Mum’s footsteps as activists. Nola had almost done the same. Almost—until they earned a hefty scholarship to Durham University. The opportunity to attend university, and to be able to afford it, no doubt, was one that they couldn’t justifiably pass up.

Five interesting facts about your character:

TW FACT #3 (BUBBLEGUM) FOR MENTIONS OF ANXIETY, MEDICATION, AND SELF-HARM

MIRROR, MIRROR | They take after their mum’s side of the family in their outrageous dedication to superstition. As a child, Nola loved tagging along whenever their mum sought out spirits in her spare time. Dowsing rods, thermometers, candles, magnets and the like were always ready to be put to use, lumped into a tattered cardboard box at the bottom of the kitchen cabinet. The belief in senseless traditions and good luck charms have followed Nola into adulthood. They still make the effort to catch falling leaves in autumn and keep an eye on the salt shaker at the dinner table. Although they don’t have as much faith in it all as they did in their younger years, it certainly makes life more fun.

LITTLE THINGS | Nola loves the feeling of starting something new, and perhaps this is why one of their favorite hobbies is collecting. Not anything in particular; simply, collecting as an activity in itself. They’re quite fleeting about it, non-committal and prone to giving up soon after they’ve begun. It would take more than two hands to count how many half-hearted collections have come and gone, hurtled through Nola’s room like a midnight train bound nowhere. The only collections that have survived Nola’s volatility, and of which they are most proud of, are their weathered jazz and blues vinyls (via thrift shops and flea markets) and sociopolitical buttons (largely via activist older brothers).

BUBBLEGUM | Nola has had generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) since they were a child. Before they were the glittering human embodiment of a shooting star, they were Saturn entrapped by rings of chaos, circling, circling, circling without end. They’ve always been more restless than truly active, but after years of rattling pill bottles and steady coping lessons, the fidgeting is a lot subtler now. Pacing and scratching have become bad habits of the past; these days, Nola’s almost always chewing gum to keep their tensions low. Unless someone is especially perceptive, Nola’s high-functioning anxiety has nearly everyone fooled. Even as a tiny ball of worry, baby Nola was still as seemingly happy-go-lucky as they are today. Bright, bouncy, and bubbly; the perfect extrovert.

IDLE GENIUS | Despite their natural gift of intelligence, Nola has no want for power or money; all they want is heedless autonomy and sheer knowledge and social change. They follow a path laid by optimism and Lady Luck. They are that kid: the one who constantly skips class but still aces every assignment; the one that can speed-write a stellar research paper the night it’s due; the one carefree and confident enough to go out and get hammered the night before the final exam. Nola is a pixie-dusted honeybee, blessed and blithe, and their entire world is neatly lined with freshly-blossomed flowers. All that glitters skims their unburdened fingertips like high tide kissing the coastline; theirs, if only they’d reach out to claim it.

AVANT-GARDE | Imagination and creativity are central components to their personality. Penniless parents led Nola to music and art as their main sources of entertainment. Double-dutch songs on the sidewalks as a child, performing in the metro stations for tips, belting gospel hymns at church, and melting into the jazzy swing of crackling vinyl after school. As a kid, Nola’s older brothers didn’t have to do much convincing to get them to switch from crayons on scrap paper to joining their amateur graffiti brigade. Weekend nights turned into graffiti activism and sneakers pounding across cracked pavement. The Foxcrofts’ murals and protest statements decorated Manchester’s worn trains and warehouses and walls. Nola got quite good at it, and still sketches designs in their notebooks from time to time.

Character Quote: “I’ll slip into heaven through a crack in the wall.”

↳  Theme song at the moment is definitely DNA. by Kendrick: “I got power, poison, pain and joy inside my DNA / I got hustle though, ambition, flow, inside my DNA / I was born like this, since one like this / Immaculate conception.”

If your character had a patronus what would it be? and why?

HUMMINGBIRD: “the sweetest nectar is within” | In nature, hummingbirds are swift and vivacious, always darting from place to place. Hummingbirds represent serendipity, nature’s reminder to seek out the good in life and the grandeur in each day. Despite their small size, they possess a lot of potential and power. Their independence and persistence thrives in the beauty of the present moment. Similarly, Nola seeks to do everything and to do it on a grand scale. When they come up with an idea, they feel compelled to follow it, unconcerned with whether or not it is reasonable. They are constantly thinking, constantly doing, and are fueled by their idealism and self-confidence. Sometimes this can get Nola into trouble because they often leap before they look; however, pure luck is usually on their side.

↳  Symbolizes energy, vitality, adaptability, joy, flexibility, renewal, healing, peace, infinity, agility, and playfulness.

WRITING SAMPLE

“Bullshit! You fuckin’ cheated!” Nola cried out through a fit of dulcet giggles. A million dollar grin was stretched across their face. Their chest felt heavy from laughing too hard. “Best out of three,” they countered. Mischief danced through the cool air. They readjusted their beanie to better blanket their ears, chilled fingers wrapped tight around their can of spray paint. Despite the blustering nighttime wind, Nola was still starving for a taste of victory. But, then again, when were they not?

“All cards on the table this time. Let’s go, hotshot,” they playfully taunted.

Nola’s eldest brother, Ezekiel, leaned against the graffitied wall of the long-abandoned corner store. His breathing was staggered through baritone laughter as his lungs raced to catch up with him. The destitute building was their traditional checkpoint, the final flag at the end of their speed-graffiti competitions. It was a pawn shop at one point in time, before Nola was even old enough to grasp that the world was larger than their family’s two-bedroom flat. Like most local shops in their shadowed part of Manchester, transience was a default setting; nothing lasted and nobody stayed if the choice was offered.

Ezekiel cocked an eyebrow. “Mum didn’t raise you a sore loser, did she?” he teased. Broad shoulders shrugged back, his smirk begging for a challenge as per usual. Though Nola reckoned they picked up many of their self-assured mannerisms from their brothers, where they matched in demeanor, they differed in personality. It went without asking that Nola was the youngest of the three. The baby. The twins channeled their energy into the things that mattered most to them; Nola’s fervor was blind, aimless, and unhindered. They all thrived on victory, but Nola was significantly less concerned with prizes or titles. Winning was their lifestyle.

Nola made a face at Ezekiel’s comment. The can rattled in their left hand as they shook it in preparation for the next round. “Find it hard to believe Mum taught you to be a dirty cheat,” they fired back. Banter was instinctual between the siblings. They wouldn’t want it any other way.

Ezekiel chuckled and began to peel himself off of the shop’s exterior. “Ready, set?” he proposed, body poised to run.

Already bounding into the dark, Nola shouted over their shoulder, “And they’re off!”

[jiveammunition]

The Color of Love (T)

Title:The Color of Love Pairing: Reaper76 Rating: T Tags: Fluff, Comfort, Healthy Coping Mechanisms  Summary:

It's rare, nowadays, for Gabriel to learn anything new about Jack. They've been together for so long that they know each other like the backs of their own hands.

Which is why it surprised Gabriel to discover that Jack had taken up coloring in his spare time.

Also known as the sequel to A Picture Says A Thousand Words But All I Need Is One that nobody asked for.

Also found on AO3 here: The Color of Love

It's rare, nowadays, for Gabriel to learn anything new about Jack. They've been together for so long that they know each other like the backs of their own hands. Save for the many embarrassing stories about their own childhoods that they're unwilling to share and haven't already heard about from their partner’s family members — Gabriel's sisters and Jack's brothers are always more than happy to spill the beans on their brother's escapades back before they even met — there's very little Gabriel and Jack don't know about each other.

Which is why it surprised Gabriel to discover that Jack had taken up coloring in his spare time.

“Was Fareeha in your office again, Jack?” Gabriel asked, picking up what appeared to be a coloring book (for some children's television show he couldn't quite remember the name of) off of the coffee table in Jack's office. “She seems to have left her coloring book and crayons in here.”

A flush appeared on Jack's face, and he scratched his nose, clearly trying to come up with an answer that was anything but the truth. It was a fruitless endeavour, as he could only sigh and shake his head in reply after a few moments of struggling. “No, that's mine. The crayons too… they're all mine,” he confessed, “I color in my spare time.”

The impulsive desire to make a joke about how odd it was that the straight-laced, fully grown, super soldier of a Strike Commander had such a hobby was instantly quenched when Gabriel gazed back up from the half-colored page and looked at Jack once more. There was a discomfort that settled in his jaw and brow, and the way Jack rubbed at his arm in the way Gabriel recognized he only does when his anxiety was beginning to bloom, didn't escape his attention.

Ah .

In that moment, Gabriel had completely understood everything. He put the coloring book back down, and witnessed how the tension in Jack's body all at once dissipated, as if the taut strings of anxiety that had been coiled around his muscles had been cut all at once.

“Oh, I see,” Gabriel replies. And though he needed no further explanation from Jack in regards to fascination with coloring, he listened, quietly and patiently, as Jack later gave one to him anyway.

As Jack had explained to him, and just as he had expected, coloring was not so much as a hobby, per se, but more of a therapy.

Jack has always had issues with anxiety — Gabriel has never seen anyone more strung up than Jack on some days — and they had only gotten worse when he was forcibly promoted to Strike Commander. He hid it well, and Gabriel was always there to lend an ear whenever he needed it, but there was only so much talking could do, and the medications Angela prescribed were limited in their effectiveness by Jack's super soldier body. What medication did work to help was only advised to use in case of severe anxiety attacks — which has only ever happened twice to Jack that Gabriel has ever known or seen; he has no doubts that Jack may have had more but just kept them to himself — meaning Jack had to resort to finding his own coping mechanisms.

Coloring, he said, seemed to be one of the few things he can do to help cope. When he colors, there was no need to worry about anything but keeping his crayons inside the lines, and the way the crayons glide so easily across the paper made it that much easier on his frayed nerves. Jack's brain clears of all the turbulent thoughts that plague him and goes quiet in times like this, a more than welcome reprieve from its usual state.

Gabriel understands. It's akin to the feeling he gets sometimes from sketching in his notebooks. He said as such, and received a grateful smile and chaste kiss from Jack as thanks.

Nevertheless, the childish coloring books didn't seem to suit Jack at all, and Gabriel could only imagine how those large negative spaces between the lines could feel daunting and tiresome after a while. He kept the thought tucked away in the back of his mind for later, and made it his mission in that moment try and repair whatever frayed nerves still addled Jack from the press conference.

Gabriel finds Jack tucked away in their shared quarters one afternoon, after a particularly stressful press conference about the state of affairs in regards to Overwatch and the shocking amount of omnic uprisings in Thailand. His uniform is scattered about in pieces around the room — the signature blue duster on the floor as if Jack had meant to put it on a hook of the coat rack and missed; gauntlets sitting atop the dresser; boots left messily at the foot of the bed; and pieces of body armor on the plush armchair by the window — leaving him in just his usual turtleneck shirt and fatigue pants. Jack always looks so much smaller like this, when he's stripped bare of the imposing armor and weight of the Strike Commander title, and with the way he's curled up with his back against the headboard, legs propped up so he can use his lap as a surface for whatever it is he's working on, his vulnerability is even more apparent.

Jack pays him no mind, too immersed in his work to even notice that someone else had entered his room, and he nearly startles when Gabriel slides into bed besides him and greets him with a kiss to his temple. Instinctively, Jack turns his head to meet Gabriel's cheek with his lips, and Gabriel can only chuckle inwardly at the way Jack's eyes don't leave the page in front of him.

“Hey, babe,” Jack greets him quietly. He sounds tired, as he normally does in times like this, but the quick, focused movements of his hand give clear indications as to just how strung out Jack is, still. The gold ring on Jack's left hand glints in the light with each stroke of his colored pencil — a gift from Gabriel that he brought back from his last mission in Strasbourg — on the page and it brings a warmth to his chest.

“Hey,” Gabriel replies, cuddling close, “Feeling better?” He lets the wrapped gift dangle from his hand off the bed, out of sight for now.

Jack gives him a vague noise in lieu of an actual answer, but Gabriel feels the tension in his body still, and knows well enough take it for the ‘ No, not really ,’ that it means.

“I have a present for you,” Gabriel offers.

Jack’s hand falls still on the page and he sighs quietly. Carefully, he begins to speak, “If you're going to tell me my present is a bow wrapped around yo-” only to be cut off by Gabriel's protest.

“No, no!” Gabriel says, torn between laughing and feeling slightly offended that Jack would see an ulterior motive in the skinship. He moves his hand to hold the package just above Jack's hands, and smiles warmly when Jack kisses him in apology for the accusation.

“What is it?” Jack asks, turning the gift in his hand.

“You can find that out just by opening it, Jackie.”

Briefly, Jack shoots him a look before he moves to take off the bright yellow and white wrappings off of his present. Gabriel delights a little in the quiet but deep inhale of Jack's breath as the metallic paper peels back to reveal a book with an unmarked, royal blue cover.

Though Gabriel hates how cheesy it is to do the same thing twice, he can see with the way Jack's eyes come back to life upon opening turning to the first page. The first image is reminiscent of the last sketchbook Gabriel had presented him with, only the image of Gibraltar is far more refined and bold, dark lines marking clear distinctions between different parts of the image as if the original sketch had been turned into the prototype of a stained glass window.

“Gabe, what is this?” Jack asks, cautious. His eyes do not leave the book as he flips through, each page a different image, but drawn and inked in the similar, bold style as the one before it.

“A coloring book,” Gabriel answers, pride exuding from his voice, “I made it. For you. I figured you could use something less…” He flips to the cover of the coloring book Jack had been working on before, fighting the laugh that threatens to bubble when he sees the titular character on the page. “‘Greetings, Rabbit’-related.”

“...it was a present from Fareeha,” Jack murmurs quietly, his tone defensive

Gabriel can see his brow beginning to furrow, and hurries to try to fix the damages.

“It's cute,” he says almost too quickly, “Once you finish that one you can start using the present I just gave you. Probably a lot easier to carry around and hide too.”

For a few moments, only silence and the fluttering of pages as Jack flips through the book can be heard. When Jack's hands finally settle down on the familiar image of his hometown, brought to life in Gabriel's distinctive style, a smile creeps its way to his face, warm and bright enough to clear up any worries and doubts that had begun to cloud Gabriel's mind.

“I love it! Thanks, Gabe,” Jack says, turning to him with affection and gratitude pouring out of him in abundance. “I can't wait to use it. Thank you.”

“You're welcome, cariño,” he replies. Strong arms wrap around Gabriel's torso, and warm lips meet his own. Gabriel returns the embrace happily, along with each and every kiss Jack gives him.

Before long, a shelf on their bookcase becomes dedicated to holding the multitude of coloring books Gabriel draws for Jack. Steadily, over the years, it grows fuller and fuller with royal blue covers, and countless pages each and every one colored and filled with as much love and care as they were created with.

[deathbyzamboni-us-blog]

Hillary Clinton and Saturday Night Live in Trump’s America

             The 2016 Presidential Election was one of the most draining exercises in American history. With the 18 month build up that was exhausting it should have been foreseen that its culmination would be as equally shocking. The ramifications of this cycle will have consequences in the years to come. For me the reason why the whole cycle was depressing was due to the involvement of Donald J. Trump. I have always though the man to be a clown but coming to realization that he will be the next president is depressing. It is in dark times where I find humor to be the best coping mechanism and, when I saw that Dave Chappelle would be hosting Saturday Night Live I started to perk up. Due to it being a live weekly show they tend to stick to current events in their program so, naturally this episode would be dealing with the outcome of the presidential election. The sketches that most impacted me in this episode are Kate McKinnon’s performance of Leonard Coen’s “Hallelujah” and a skit depicting the night of the election.

           If you don’t know what Saturday Night Live is, I guess you haven’t owned a television for 40 years but, for the uninitiated, Saturday Night Live (SNL for short), is a television program that has be run on the NBC network since 1975. Created by Loren Michaels and originally conceived as a variety show, like The Ed Sullivan Show, it quickly became a live comedy sketch program with different musical guests and a different host every week. This change occurred in the first season and is pretty much what the show is today. In its 42nd season it doesn’t look like it’s getting canceled any time soon. Since the show relies on current events the three things you need to know understand content of the episode, 11/12/16, is as follows; Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 Presidential Election; Legendary Singer Songwriter Leonard Cohen passed away that week and comedian Dave Chappelle took on hosting duties.

           The 2016 Presidential election had Hillary Clinton as the Democratic party candidate and Donald J. Trump as the Republican Party candidate. Clinton who has been in the public eye as long as I can remember (I was born in 1989) has held many roles in public office such as the Senator of New York state and the Secretary of Defense and was the first lady to Bill Clinton. Hillary is a far from beloved figure and there are many reasons for this; it is perceived she plays to what people want instead of just being herself; there has been scandals that have follow the Clintons for years (Monica Lewinsky, The Clinton Foundation and, Sending Emails from a private server while she was Secretary of Defense); she is a woman of power which presents a threat to some men. Regardless how people feel about it her it can’t be taken away that she is one of the hardest working people on planet and that she was dying to become the President of The United States of America. Donald Trump on the other hand is a business man and reality star who rode a wave of racism, xenophobia and, crassness to claim the Republican nomination. This man, who many feel to be a clown, beat her out for the Job of Commander in Chief. This was heartbreaking and shocking for this man to beat her. It was predicted that she would win by a majority of news outlets but, he won in a stunning upset. That week people were still coming to terms with this.  Also, singer songwriter Leonard Cohen passed away who was a well-respected lyricist was a great loss to the intellectual community.

           Saturday Night Live opens their shows with a cold open. A cold open is an opening to a show or movie that takes place before the introduction credits. For this cold open they had SNL player Kate McKinnon dress up as Hillary Clinton. She wore a white pants suit and had the Hillary haircut, a layered blonde shag. She’s alone on a dark stage seated at a piano with the only light focused on her and the instrument. The clothes and hairstyle symbolize Clinton and the SNL writers want to present this performance as if she was actually talking to the audience. She proceeds to play Leonard Coen’s “Hallelujah”, the version that appeared on his record Various Positions. This is important to note because even though he wrote the song the most recognized version was performed by Jeff Buckley and it features different lyrics as result of Cohen inability to stop writing verses for the song. Buckley’s used versus that were appropriate for his record Grace. The mood during the song is somber and sad. This reflects Trump winning because it was a shocking and scary experience for the left minded people of the country. For he represents a win for and chaos. He never held a role in public office which was appealing to his base and scary for the rest of the country. A majority of the SNL staff and their audience is made up of the ladder part of the country so, this was a difficult week to get through.

           “Hallelujah” is used for three reasons; this is Leonard Cohen’s most famous song so this is a tribute to him; the third verse is exclusive to Coen’s 1985 version therefore is a bigger wink at him; this verse also better reflects Hillary Clinton’s futility in winning the election. This verse goes as follows, (I did my best, it wasn't much / I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch / I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you / And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the Lord of Song / With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.) The first line is best taken literally when it comes to Clinton, she gave it her all but she still lost. The third line is ironic coming from a politician since the common public perception of the group is that they are all liars. I have always felt that this is an unfair standard to hold someone because all humans lie. When put in the context of her and Trump, she’s Honest Abe Lincoln and he’s Tricky Dick Nixon. Also, I feel that Donald Trump conned his way to the presidency by selling change to a section of the country that desperately wanted needs but, he won’t be able to deliver that, no one can. Meanwhile Hillary whether you liked her or not, she ran on telling the public what her policies were, she wasn’t trying to “fool us.” Finally, the last couple of lines is her acknowledgement of her failure but since the word hallelujah is used to cap this sentiment it feels that failure should be celebrated. hallelujah is normally used to recognize the presence of god and for people who are religious, god is the most meaningful being in existence and he is positive and enlightening. The word hallelujah is used to sum up this idea. With this song Cohen reappointed this celebratory term to recognize that negative feelings and experiences should be cherished because they make the good things in life more valuable in comparison. With every sunset into darkness there will be a sunrise to guide us back to the light which I find to be a hopeful sentiment. To emphasize this point to the audience Hillary, tells us at the end of the song, “I’m not giving up and neither should you.”

           The next sketch was also about the election but instead of going to dark to light this one goes light to dark but that doesn’t mean it can’t be funny. The host of this episode, Dave Chappelle, stars in this one with Chris Rock. Both men were the biggest African-American stand-up comics to come out of the latter half of the 90’s. The two have both based many jokes from the Black man’s struggle in America. Chappelle with the sketch in Chappelle’s Show, of the blind white-supremacist who is black and, Rock with his, “for white people the sky’s the limit and black people the limit is the sky” bit being famous examples. Besides Chappelle and Rock there are 4 other characters who are all white. One of them is a man and the other three being women. All these characters are in their 30-40’s and are economically well off representing this is the setting of an apartment in the city. The sketch depicts the characters watching the presidential election with time jumping forward to key points of the night. We know that they are snobby liberals because the characters refer to news organizations like the Huffington Post and Slate, both of which have a hard-liberal bias; they have Hillary Clinton signs; they are drinking wine instead of beer which is a “classier” type of alcohol to consume.

           All the white characters start off overly confident that Clinton will win with Dave warning them that, “don’t forget, it’s a big country.” He issues this warning because these city liberals live in an echo chamber of their own political beliefs. The part of the country that decided the election, Rural America, has no presence in the city so, people tend to be unaware and/or deny the other part of the country’s attitude. As the night progresses, it becomes more apparent that Trump will win the presidency, which causes the white people to panic. Before Trump wins the election, Chris Rock enters the sketch to support Black America’s feeling with Chappelle. The white people can’t fathom that Trump is going to win the election while Rock and Chappelle were fully aware of that possibility. The reason for this is the white people can’t believe that the American people would vote for someone who spouts racist rhetoric but the black men who deal with this kind of speech everyday are more keyed in to the racism in this country. The ultimate point of the sketch is to highlight people’s line of thinking when they live in a “bubble.” A bubble in this situation is to be surrounded by people and only digest information that serves your point of view without acknowledging other lines of thinking. Often most people in the country aren’t aware or don’t think about other perceptions that don’t align with their beliefs. This can be intentional and/or by accident but when your bubble is burst you can be in for a rude awakening. As Rock and Chappelle said Trump winning isn’t our country being set back but, rather liberals should be aware of the problems that still haunt their country. It will get better and we aren’t in a worse place now but, liberals now need to work harder for their causes. For now, the President is not on their side.