#i did like her before but never like sought out her music

[beabadoobiefanatic]

I Want You (She's So Heavy) ✥ Remmick

Chapter 3 ✥ Lil' Friend

Other Chapters: ✥1 ✥2✥3

-ˋˏ ༻🎕°⋆༺. ✥ .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-chapter summary: In which Remmick meets the family. Or well, *a* family member. .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ- chapter warnings: mentions of the Klu-Klux-Klan (again)

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ- story summary: The Smiths have long borne sons and daughters of hunters for centuries, tracking and eradicating the cryptids that ran through the Mississippi Delta like blood roots; thus, it would only be assumed that [F/N] Smith should take the legacy on as well. However, her passion for music-- her gift and inclination of it ran within her, deeper than any blood and any 'fate', and so she took her bearings up to Chicago, indulging in the sin of the nightlife. But no matter how far she ran, Remmick couldn't get her songs out of her head-- he couldn't ignore a chance to once again be reunited with his own people, a chance only granted through the turning of a Smith girl. And thus, he sought out to take [F/N] as his little pawn, his little tool, and his little wife.

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ- major warning(s): explicit sexual content, mention of the Klu-Klux-Klan, graphic depictions of violence and gore, blood, blood consumption, minor religious imagery and symbolism, gaslighting, manipulation, rough sex, verbal degradation, very minor amounts of period-typical racism

.༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-tags: black! female! reader, F/M pairing, usage of [F/N] [L/N] instead of Y/N, crossposted on Archive of Our Own (AO3), erotica, vampires, southern gothic, angst, comedy, slow burn, forced marriage, strangers to lovers, roommates, (eventual) mutual pining, enemies to lovers, love/hate, awkward tension, Remmick is a cannon mix of offputting and charismatic, miscommunication, pre-canon, alternate universe - canon divergence, hurt/comfort, mental instability, vampire slayers, soul bond, sexual fantasy, rough sex, hate sex, cunnilinguis, irish language

chapter wc: 6,034

fic wc: 13,908

chapters: 3/ ?

publish date: 5/7/25 story last updated: 5/21/25

-ˋˏ ༻🎕°⋆༺. ✥ .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-

The stars twinkled in a way they never did back home in Mississippi. The moon was high and cast a beautiful, bright blue light that illuminated [F/N]’s face, head resting on the window as she bore a disgusted expression. 

She watched as Remmick fumbled with their luggage again, still steaming from the night before. She wasn’t one to shy away from the fact that she was upset either; she’d sassed and tugged away from him all while he’d undone her binds, taken forever in the (unfortunately windowless) bathroom. However, all her disobedience and attitude were eclipsed by caution when they finally came down the stairs, bearing luggage for the car. 

The group of while folk from the night before had been sitting in the lobby with their stained button-ups and patchwork slacks, and yet they stared at both Remmick and [F/N] with a sense of superiority. They held up their newspapers and smoked their cigarettes in the motel’s little couch area, showing off their shotguns that were laid up against the armchairs and the coffee table. They muttered amongst themselves when the two of them had been making trips out to the car, repeatedly spitting on the carpet and making snarl-lipped comments to each other that revealed their crooked, yellow teeth.

“Pretty lil’ nigra, ain’t she?” A word which they’d invented, and yet they could barely pronounce it correctly. Fucking hicks. 

But it was the oldest of the motley crew that was almost seething with hate, nd yet, he was the most reserved. The rest of his compatriots hooted and hollered enough for the motel staff to repeatedly tell them to ‘shut that shit up or get the hell out’, to which they mocked even louder.

 

The oldest, however, just sat in his armchair in a manspread, hands on his knees and leaning forward with a mean look on his face. What made him look even crazier was the fact that there was no hair on top of his head– instead, it was all scooped to the back in a long, white ponytail. 

He looked pink and sweaty, and slightly chubbier. Every part of his body, except the top of his head and the area in which facial hair would grow was covered in hair. He looked like a piece of  bubblegum dropped on the barbershop floor. 

And guess who he’d been eyeing so hatefully? 

Not [F/N], but Remmick.

She could tell that he was bothered, even if she couldn’t exactly tell why. She knew he didn’t endorse nor tolerate the Klan, but this specific man… Remmick had caught one small glimpse of him and had immediately looked away, trying to obscure his face.

Even then, as she watched him load the car, he was barely organized or careful; he’d been back there all of thirty seconds before he’d come back up front and immediately hopped in the driver’s seat, fumbling to pull the keys out of his pocket while he cursed.

She watched him fumble for a moment, clearly resentful of him and hesitant to say a word to him. However, she could feel her curiosity getting the better of her, the question sitting hot on her tongue like a pepper.

A few minutes later, and they’d been on the road, the air whipping their hair around and the moon blue-ing their skin, and even though they were out of harm’s way, she couldn’t keep it off her mind. 

Remmick, who felt suffocated by the silence, was watching the way her fist clenched and unclenched in her lap, her breaths careful and planned; in, hold, out, hold, repeat. She was an axnious little thing from what he could tell, and as someone who heard and saw everything with a heightened sense, it drove him crazy. It made him shift in his seat and restlessly tap his fingers on the wheel. 

He could hear the skin of her thumb rubbing against the gold band and glanced at the ring on her finger, noticing the way she twisted and fidgeted with it. He’d seen soldiers with those same habits, antsy and yet they bore stone faces atop their worry.

He had to say something, but the words weren’t given a chance to come out.

“You never told me how you knew them white men back there,” she blurted quickly, like the words had been waiting on her tongue.

He didn’t respond immediately; he didn’t flinch, nor did he look over, as if pretending he hadn’t heard her at all.

Suddenly, fakely, he flinched as if he’d registered her question a whole thirty seconds later and giving her big, ‘apologetic’ eyes.

“Oh, my apologies. You say somethin’?” He asked. He couldn’t hold in his agitating, degrading simper and let it form, his eyes focusing back on the road as he bore a mixture of smugness and annoyance. “Figured you still had that lil’ attitude of yours, didn’t think you was talkin’ to lil ol’ me.

She sucked her teeth her teeth. “Which one’s worse: a girl bein’ sassy or a grown man bein’ sassy?” 

His smile didn’t fall, but it lost its humor, and he responded immediately. 

“I don’t mean to be, but you bring it out of me. It’s a gift of yours, but dont worry, lil’ miss; youse more than worth the trouble.”

He’d been married before, and this is exactly how it felt, but he didn’t usually get into the ‘I hate you’ stages until about ten years in. Of course, by then, he’d just eat them. That wasn’t an option here. Not yet, at least.

He kept one hand on the steering wheel, his left resting on the outside of the car as he drove. His button-up sloppily clung to his body in the heat. His messy, oddly-curled bangs stuck to his forehead, and his jaw moved ever so slightly as he suctioned his tongue to the roof of his mouth so tightly he could taste every muscle. Still, he smiled.

The way she got under his skin was like nothing else, and that feeling looked to be mutual. He could see it in the way she’d sat up and turned her whole body towards him, and yet somehow, she’d managed to extinguish herself. She retracted her pointed finger and clenched her fist before slumping back into the seat.

“Doin’ all that just to not answer my question.” 

He looked once, and then he looked twice, and then he looked back at the road again. 

His fingers drummed on the steering wheel for a good long while, his face bitter while the cogs turned in his head.

He then parted his lips to speak, and then closed them as if he wasn’t sure he should. He did it a couple more times until he surrendered some kind of answer.  His lips went tight, and he looked like he was about to say something else, but he went limp in the seat like all the fight had left his body. 

He started slowly, his voice indifferent as he focused his eyes on the road. Still, he bore a subtle smirk.

“Didn’t think you was so worried ‘bout me, but, don’t worry; they only knocked me around a lil’ bit,” he said, clearing his throat with discomfort at the memory. “Not them, clearly; some friends of theirs. But, you seen the old n’ hefty one?” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, that one got away. But,” he tapped the steering wheel. “I made out with some wheels n’ keys. So, I didn’t bother to chase him down n’ kill him; I could smell it on him, n’ he ain’t got longer than a month left. His arteries was so swollen they was ticklin’ his lungs.” 

When he looked over at [F/N], he could see the way her eyes were wide with something sick, her eyebrows knitted together. He couldn’t decipher what this look meant until he heard her heart, and the way it beat fast and irregularly. 

She licked the roof of her mouth to salivate, but she was left with worry-induced cotton mouth. The words came out of her like an inhuman croak he couldn’t understand. But after a dry, sick swallow of air, she spoke weakly—

“Oh, fuck..”

She shook her head and broke her eyes from his, mumbling softly to herself. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

She was working herself up with worry, he could hear it, but he didn’t blame her for it. Admittedly, he’d complicated a rather easy job; to kill that old man would’ve been like squashing a small spider beneath a large shoe, but that’s precisely why he didn’t care to finish the job. That old man was nothing more than a soft, old bigot; he wasn’t remotely threatening. 

But to [F/N], being chased by a group of rowdy racists was horrifying, especially given that they’d managed to land hits on Remmick. She figured that if she could take him as a small girl (yet albeit well-trained), then a group of six or seven liquor-filled hicks would hurt him. 

And if they didn’t hurt him, they’d hurt her. 

“I knew I should’ve brought somethin’,” she mumbled, cursing herself. “A lil’ handgun or a pistol,” she said, looking around the car. 

She coiled herself around the seat, tapping the floors and seats of the back until Remmick’s arm snaked around her. The car swerved a bit as he pulled her back to the front.

He could see the protesting ‘why did you do that?’ look on her face and immediately spoke, his tone absurd;

“Are you out of your mind?” He asked, scoffing. “Hell, almost made me whip this goddamn hunk of metal; you already know I can’t drive for shit— done lost your mind, girl!”

She huffed, her face contorting into confused frustration.

“What, so I’m ‘sposed to rely on you in case they come down the road lookin’ for us?!” She spat. “I almost whopped yo ass, but they gon’ do it for sure. And then what happens to me, huh?” 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, like a parent listening to a child’s irrational fears. He wasn’t taking this seriously, and that only wound her up more.

“I said they landed a couple hits on me, but it was eight on one. Now, if eight lil’ cats jump one gator he’s gon’ be confused for a minute, but he’s gon’ clear ‘em out, ain’t he?” 

“What? Wh-? Eight cats? Why would eight cats be jumpin’ a gator—“

“[F/N], come on,” he scoffed, getting hotter and thus stammering more. “M-Maybe that was a bad example, but you know that ain’t the point. You gotta believe me now. What, I let one lil’ porkchop escape n’ all the sudden you think I’m incapable of handlin’ business?”

She didn’t say anything and sat with her arms crossed while refusing to look at him.

He tutted, his expression a bit pained.

“That’s a lil’ hurtful darlin’. Now, youse in good hands— for now, ‘til I bite that pretty lil neck,” he said.

His voice came in an odd, low rasp that made her heart rethink itself, his voice chock full of filth and devoid of flirt; it reminded her of how unsettling he was. The back of his curled knuckles gently brushing up against her nape. 

Confused and morbidly offended, she cast him a side eye. He took no offense when she smacked his hand away, re-folding her arms. He simply nodded and pulled his hand back slowly.

He continued. “But for now? Oh, don’t even worry ‘bout them. You safe as can be, which ain’t too safe given our lil’ predicament but believe this, cause it ain’t nothin but the truth: ain’t nobody but me gon’ be layin’ a finger on ya.”

She wasn’t looking at him throughout his little speech, but when he went quiet, she took a peek at him.

His eyes were on the road, left hand on the wheel. His right arm rested on the center console, his hand sticking up with his pinkie out, inviting her to wrap her own around it.

A pinkie promise. 

Something about it was so characteristically elementary, she just had to scoff. She looked him up and down for any signs waning or humor, but there were none. He even shook his arm a little bit, giving her a small smirk and a side eye.

“I ain’t got much morality left in me, but I don’t break promises—‘specially not the pinkie kind.” 

Annoyed, she turned away again. But every time she looked back, his pinkie remained out and straight. 

“…do I get a choice?”

“‘Course. I could take my hand away n’…” 

He tapped his lip with his finger in faux thought, playing with her. 

“Well, I can’t let em’ kill you, but I could not keep my hands off you, if that’s what you sayin’ you prefer?”

He smirked with something sinister, not because he was teasing her for a reaction, but instead because of his sick imagination. He liked that idea, nodding to himself as he spoke real slow, giving her a predatory eye.

“Yeahhh…I could feed on ya ‘stead of containin’ myself, n’ bleed you dry. ’Sides, pretty lil’ think like you? Wouldn’t be hard to find other uses for ya. Up t’you, really.”

She let his words simmer in her mind for a split second before jumping away from him. 

“Jesus Christ—?! Whore, the hell’s the matter with you?!” She spat with degradation. “That’s just filthy! Ain’t thinkin’ bout nothin’ but smut, is you? Big nasty ass…”

He chuckled and shook his pinkie again, but there was no need. The thought of that last part made her pinkie magnetize to his, her embarrassment driving her actions. 

He nodded triumphantly, taking his hand away and putting it back on the wheel. “Aw, darlin’! I swear I ain’t mean it!”

-ˋˏ ༻🎕°⋆༺. ✥ .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-

Not even ten minutes later, the car began to make odd, sputtering noises and emitted a low, mechanical growl.

Every time the car stuttered in movement, [F/N] would look over at Remmick, and as she’d suspected, he never reacted to it. Maybe he’d shift the sticks a bit and knit his eyebrows together, but he just kept going. 

They were out of the countryside and up in some small town’s backroads when she finally said something, coming down a hill as they rode closer to a seedy little gas station. Emphasis on seedy; the white paint of the little wooden-buily shack was chipped and covered in speckles of moss, the gas pump being the only thing that looked new.

She gently patted his upper arm, which was bare by now since he’d slipped off his button-up. He looked down at her and back up, noticing where she was pointing.

“Somethin’s off,” she mumbled softly, peering over his shoulder and at the cluster of meters and trackers behind the wheel to try and look for the gas meter. “We don’t need gas, do we?”

“Uhm…” he squinted hard, “which one issat?”

“Are you serious? Wh–”

“Darlin’, I’m tryna drive– I can’t stop n’ figure out which one of these is for the petrol, now! You just gon’ have to tell me.”

She groaned and popped her seatbelt off, contorting her body to lean her his lap. Taken off guard, he swerved a little bit while he struggled to see over the top of her head. That, combined with his annoyance at her close proximity and the heat it brought to his face, made his tone a bit harsh. 

“Christ– the hell ‘er you doin’?” He spat, sitting up in his seat.

“Lookin’ to see how much gas we got in this old thing,” she murmured, “ain’t nobody tryna touch on you!”'

A bit insulted, he quickly shut up. 

She finally managed to glance at the meter, and it was more than low. She almost wasn’t sure she’d seen that correctly, but the minute she was sure, she crawled away from him. 

“Aw, shoot– well, I hope you got gas money…”

“Why?” 

“Why?” She balked, her tone testy. “Wh–?” she rapped at the glass on the dial repeatedly. “Look at it!”

He rolled his eyes and glanced down a few times, his expression only growing more confused. Finally, the realization hit him, and he inwardly groaned. 

“Ah, holon.. shit, how the hell’d it get past E?” He gawked. 

He peered over at the gas station as they came down onto the road, pulling closer as the engine began to spit and sputter, rattling the two of them around. 

The old thing had barely made it to the pump when Remmick sighed, patting his pockets. He’d turned them inside out and came up with a small handful of old-looking gold coins that were decorated in strange inscriptions she couldn’t make out.

She looked down at his palm, then up at him, and then down, and then up. “You gon’ pay with them?”

He bit his lip and responded after a beat, closing his hand and stuffing the gold back in his pockets.

“Not directly, no.” He beckoned for her to bring her hand closer. “But, we gon’ have to see if we can get somethin’ for one of em’.”

He dropped one ice-cold coin into her hand. She drew it back and brought it closer, running her thumb over all its little ridges and bumps, taken with the object. Remmick found himself a bit amused yet confused at her fascination with the old thing. 

“Typa money is this?”

“Solid gold kinda money, nothin’ phony ‘bout it. Feel that weight to it?”

She lifted her palm up and down, weighing it.

“Yeah well, fake or note, somebody’s gon have to take it. What kinda folks live ‘round here anyway?” She asked, stuffing the coin in her pocket.

He scoffed, rubbing the back of his neck. “The kind that’d be a lil’ on-guard if a lanky ol’  white man came up to em’.”

That earned a small chuckle from her, and she nodded, popping the door open. 

“You not comin’ with me, right?”

Remmick opened his mouth to respond, but the words died in his throat. He scrunched his face and pointed at her, turning his head to the side like he hadn’t heard her right.

“Why’d you ask it like that?”

She paused. “...cause I was wonderin’?”

“No, why’d you ask like that? Like you was hopin’ I’d say no n’ just let you roam off?”

“...cause…?”

He paused for a beat. 

After a minute or two, he hummed to himself affirmingly and grabbed his button-up off the back seat behind him, climbing out of the car and throwing it on. 

“You was gon’ wander off n’ never come back,” he said, annoyed that he was essentially forced to babysit her while she solicited an old Celtic coin for gas. The whole thing was trashy, but it wasn’t entirely beneath him.

“No I wasn’t,” she retorted, even more annoyed that he’d assumed that. “Whatever! Come yo’ stankin’ ass on so we can get some gas, smells like booze out here.”

The deceivingly spacious inside of the gas station smelled like the very products it sold; antigfreeze and tires. Tne floors were wood planks that looked freshly polished, and everything was in rows; snacks, basic necessities, and papers. The were about four or five other people inside and two behind the counter, all of them not paying much mind. Well, until Remmick had entered behind her. 

Everyone’s heads shot up to look at him like prairie dogs, and in his headlights, he dropped his shirt mid-tuck, letting it awkwardly cling to his body. 

“...h-howdy?”

Right, clearly a little weirdo. 

Everyone slowly went back to their business, and it wasn’t until the eyes were off him until he finished tucking his shirt in. His face was a little red, and he leaned down to quietly mutter to [F/N];

“Gon’ head n’ pawn that thang off,” he patted her back, “n’ don’t go too far, else I’mma eat real good tonight, y’hear?”

She began to believe him less and less every time he said that. So she pushed him away and soccfed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah whatever, there’s some mags over there, go look at that.”

He smacked her arm lightly; “listen, you gon’ stop with this lil’ whore accusation. Just a mean thing, ain’t you?”

With that, she stepped a couple of feet away, standing in the middle of the store, looking around at everybody. The women were dressed in long skirts and corseted tops, while the men were dressed similarly to Remmick. Speaking of which, she found herself repeatedly looking over her shoulder and caught him sneaking suspicious glances at her, shooing her.

She rolled her eyes and scanned the room a little closer, looking for a kind face or a face that would at least meet her eyes. She pretended to walk through the aisles and arbitrarily picked up things and read the labels, careful not to linger for too long. She could already tell by the look of the older, more lightskinned man behind the counter that his eyes were glued to her hands. 

Nervous, she stepped away from the aisles and instead took a more direct approach before coming up to a fairly young couple. The woman was a bit pudgy and short, but her eyes were gorgeous and almond-shaped, her hair pulled back in cornrows, and her body adorned in blue gingham cloth. The man wore the same slacks and button-up as everyone else, except his set was cleaner; even his shoes looked shiny, and it was a subtle thing to pick up on, but [F/N]’s skillset included being observant. 

She had a slightly higher-pitched, welcoming, and airy voice. She’d been dressed in a black pinstripe frock, with a simple string of pearls and dress shoes. So when she approached them, she expected them to be a little uppity. Still, there was room for more surprise.

They’d been talking to each other, laughing a little here and there as they spoke in a hushed tone, the man flicking through his wallet. It was when [F/N] was about a foot away that the woman had looked over her shoulder and stopped laughing, her face falling a little. The man noticed, and that accompanied by the way the woman side eyed him and then looked back at [F/N] made his smile drop too.

The two of them sighed somewhat dramatically and [F/N] could swear she heard pne of them mumble about ‘these goddamn kids’, the man quickly tucking his wallet in his back pocket. 

The older woman spoke first, a little apprehensive still. Most likely because she’d seen the girl walk in with some little white boy. 

“Well, hi there,” she said, her words polite but her tone a bit suspicious. She swayed her hips a bit as she tapped her male companion’s shoulder, and he faced [F/N] instinctively, shaking her hand.

“Evenin’ ma’am, sir,” she said, putting her hand band in her pocket as she nodded over to the white man who was now holding up one of the girlie mags and letting the poster picture unfold, whistling. 

God, how much more embarrassing could he be?

Disturbed and clearly seeing that the couple was equally disturbed, she cleared her throat and continued.

“Ah.. We’re musicians, y’see. We been–”

The couple side-eyed each other.

“-- travelin’ tryna get to our next gig but, we ain’t got the typa currency we need for gas, n’ we fresh out. But, if y’all don’t mind makin’ a conversion of currency,” 

She tapped her frock pockets and pulled out the coin, presenting it in her palm, the couple not moving at first. The man passed a look to the woman and she knit her eyebrows together, before looking at [F/N] with a scrunched up face, and after her inspection, she drew back.

“...Uhn uhn… what typa of money is that? Where y’all get that from?”

“We been told it’s gold,” she said, taking it back and flipping it over to look for herself. Hell, she was trying to pawn it off and she didn’t know if she’d been given bullshit or not. 

“Really, I’m not tryna be dishonest. We can’t just stay parked outside all night n’--”

Whilst gesturing outside, the sight of a familiar face made her look twice at the glass doors. A funny-looking man with a tan, spiffy suit was reaching over and pulling the door open. Beside him was a petite, full-chested, and round face brown skin girl with pretty almond eyes and full lips. Her hair was short and styled into fingerwaves that shined in the station lights, her expression disgugruntled as she fanned herself. 

The heat made her black slip cling to her skin, only furthering the looks she received, and the makeup? [F/N] could swear someone had taken hold of their husband.

The woman’s gaze finally came up off the ground, her husband departing from her with his wallet as she took a look around, hands on her hips. 

The look of surprise that fell upon her face when she looked up and spotted [F/N] standing by the young couple was almost theatrical. Her husband had already been turned around and was getting ready to walk away when she shoved him and practically slammed the door over his head, squealing like a schoolgirl.

She adjusted her frock over her chest as she ran over.  

“Is that–? Well I’ll be damned! I know that ain’t lil’ [F/N] all grown up!”

Remmick perked up at the sound of all the hollering, not knowing where to look. It was only when the passenger door opened that he locked in and nearly flew over to [F/N], assuming this was some sort of rescue mission.

Instead, she was aghast, running out with her arms open wide.

To go from being in a fit to seeing her favorite cousin was certainly overwhelming, but she didn’t care. She didn’t even think about what Remmick might do, and instead buried herself in the woman’s arms, the two of them spinning and hollering like children. 

“My, my! Girl, where you been at?!” The dark-skinned beauty exclaimed, her hair all permed and short in a mature yet flouncy bob. 

Her clothes were flapper-esque and black with fancy beadwork, the tassels on the end making noises as the little gemstones splashed together from all the movement. 

Her voice was sweet, high, and chipper; it was why they’d called her ‘Baby’ for the longest time. Then, she got older and started running off and being fast. She quickly lost that nickname and he’d family’s sweetness, although she still shared a heart with [F/N]. They were one and the same in that regard, after all. 

“Marie! I-I don’t even know what to say!” [F/N] had exclaimed. And when she’d come down from her excitement, a sort of ‘oh-shit’ look crossed her face. She looked off in the distance.

Cousin Marie noticed this, and her mood dampened.

“What? Why you makin’ that face?” She asked, before looking over. 

She nearly jumped off [F/N] to reach under her dress for her pistol when she saw that white man running over, her free hand out as a signal for him to stop as she scrambled. 

“W-woah now, h-hold on ma’am!” He put his hands out, still managing to chuckle. God forbid she’d shoot him and thus discover his true nature. 

When the woman froze, he gestured to [F/N]. “We’se together, you see?” He held up his hand and let his ring glint. “I’m her fiancé.”

[F/N], still fuming, had half a mind to put everything at risk and tell Marie that yeah, he was lying, and he was in fact up to no good and had been holding her hostage. However, because her cousin couldn’t even quick draw, she doubted any possible success in a two-on-one.

She forced a small, bemused smile as she gently rubbed her cousin’s arm. 

“Yeah, that’s… that’s mine,” she said, poorly disguising her disgust with a laugh. 

Marie whipped her head around. 

“Girl—?,” she gawked. “You mean to tell me this lil’ glass of milk is yo husband?”

Little. Huh. He’d remember that.

Marie’s face scrunched up, and she gave [F/N] a pitiful look, her eyes lingering on Remmick as she examined him up and down. 

“Well… don’t go around tellin’ everybody that. Most folks ain’t gon like that, ‘cept they gon go after you n’ not him. Excuse me for askin’ but, ain’t y’all scared?”

Remmick came up and wrapped his hands around [F/N]’s waist tightly to keep her close, even when she’d lurched forward, leaning in and placing a fat, wet, and sloppy kiss on the nape of her neck with a low, rumbly chuckle. 

“Every single day, but I’d do anything to keep her safe. Hell, I’m lucky I snatched her up ‘fore anybody else did,” he said, his eyes seemingly squinty with joy. That squint had been his way of saying ‘suck it up, or I’ll kill you both right now.’

She nodded, never breaking her eye contact with him as she smiled, fighting back the bile coming up. Her eye was borderline twitching.

“Careful, people gon’ get to talkin,” she said as she placed a very reluctant peck on his cheek. 

Why’d she say that? She could picture it; a bunch of ankle-biting halfbreeds running around her little Chicago apartment. That thought made her so very, very sick. 

Marie felt equally confused. But, they were basically married; who was she to judge?

“Ah…” she trailed off, before she shook her head and bore a smile. “So, what y’all doin’ out here?”

“Well, we…” she stammered; she was blanking.

Remmick’s eyes widened a bit, and he, too, stammered to conjure up a lie—

“W-well, we was on our way up to Mississippi to visit her folks. Y’see, I ain’t ever met ‘em, n’ so—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Marie interjected. She looked at him like he was crazy. “So— you ain’t even ask ‘fore you proposed?” She looked at [F/N]. “That’s a lil’ too fast, ain’t it? Why y’all rushin’? Been hunchin’ n’ ended up with a lil’ baby?

[F/N] rubbed her temples, feeling her face heat up a little. How would that even work? She figured that once people were turned, they didn’t have blood and thus didn’t have any… gravy. Could he even—?

She shook off the thought and cleared her throat for composure, feeling herself grow more and more disgusted. Great, now she was getting a very, very detailed mental image. 

It didn’t help that when she’d glanced over at Remmick, he wore a shit-eating grin on his now rose-colored face, fanning himself as they quickly stumbled back towards each other. His hands assumed their previous position on [F/N]’s waist as he spoke, clearly amused at her reaction. He was a little taken aback, sure, but she nearly jumped out of her own skin. But she remained committed to her little performance despite her repulsion to him, leaning up against him with her hands on his chest, rubbing in small circular motions. 

She really knew how to play the part, and he was impressed. 

“N-no-no—no! Just— when you find true love, you just got to act on it, right? Wasn’t it like that with you n’ Chicle?” 

“Yeah, that’s why we got married so fast; we was hunchin’.”

She and Remmick stared blankly at Marie for a moment, managing to let out small, awkward chuckles that Marie interpreted as applause to her humor, and not as evasions of the awkwardness amidst them.

[F/N] cleared her throat.

“S-so, what you n' Chicle n’.. The baby, ehem, doin’ out here?” She asked, finally mellowing out upon returning to a topic she wouldn’t blow up over. 

Marie gestured off in the distance, and despite the darkness of the night, the faint figure of a man coming around to the trunk of the car with luggage up to his neck was barely made out. They all watched as he stuck his leg out a little too far and lost his balance, tripping off the curb as his luggage avalanched atop him. 

“Ouh…”

She winced and stared at him for a moment. It wasn’t until he began to get back up that she nodded slowly, assuring his well-being. 

“He-he’s alright,” she said, turning back to them as she continued. 

“We got a deal goin’ with some white folk where we get a good amount of corn liquor for cheap for The Black Cat. ‘Course, you gotta pay extra for ‘em to smuggle it across state, so we do that ourselves.” She said. 

The Black Cat. The name of the bar sparked a childish glee within [F/N]. She shook Marie’s shoulders, shrieking. Marie wore a concealed yet proud smile, looking away to keep herself from bragging. Still, it was hard when your little cousin was spinning you around and yipping. 

“So y’all really opened that old thing up? Well, hell, where y’all at?”

“Definitely not ‘round here,” she looked around. “These some uppity ass niggas; couldn’t get em to dance if you had the barrel pointin’ at they feet. Naw, we ‘bout an hour down the road from here, up in southern Tennessee.”

Marie paused and cracked a smile as she looked between the two of them. 

“Why? Y’all wanna see what we got goin’ on?”

And risk delaying this trip any longer? Remmick scoffed and shook his head. 

“Oh,” his voice was all proper and polite. “We’d hate to intru–”

“Yes!”

The sudden yell from [F/N] had sent Marie and Remmick into a state of silent shock. Marie, who’d noticed the fiancé’s hesitance, chuckled awkwardly.

“Really, it would be our pleasure!” She reasoned while a small smile came up behind [F/N] and gave her shoulders a firm squeeze. “You gotta keep your lil’ missus happy! ‘Sides, I heard rumor that y’all is musicians n’ it’s been so long since we heard lil’ Junebug sing somethin’ fore us!”

He gave her an awkward smile and laughed, nodding– all the while he was staring at [F/N] with murderous intent. Still, he hated to admit it, but he was impressed; had he said no, Marie might get to talking to the family and mention [F/N] running around with a random white man. Someone might ‘check up’ on them, worst-case scenario. [F/N] clearly knew all this; he could tell by her wide smile and her awkwardly squinted eyes, communicating with a look that said ‘I got you right where I want you.’

He prepared to say something, but was swiftly caught off guard. He cracked a genuine laugh.

“J-Junebug? Whose Junebug?” He dealt her a look of fascination and tease, clearly reveling in her sheepish expression. “N’ when was I gon’ hear about this?”

She rolled her eyes, pulling away from Marie in the way embarrassed children did. “Marie, c’mon, I’m grown now; too old for Junebug,” she remarked bitterly.

Marie smacked her hip and earned a sharp little ‘ow’; “Stop actin’ funny, it’s cute! And if you gon’ be my guest you gon’ be singin’, n’ we gon introduce you as Junebug.”

Clearly, she was kidding, but [F/N] didn’t wanna hear anymore, stepping away from the two of them with her arms crossed. She managed to laugh a little despite the horror and the fact that Remmick now had more ammunition to tease her with, and in turn, she now had more reasons to strangle him.

“Alright, alright, I’ll do a lil’ one-two for y’all,” she said. “I ain’t got rusty; been singin’ ever since I left the Delta anyhow.”

“You gots to tell me all about it. Y’all good to drive? Heard y’alls broke asses in here beggin’for loose change,” She said, pulling out a ffat wad just to present a five dollar bill. Instead of offering it to [F/N], she paid her fiancé a little bit of attention, a little suspicious of the conservatism of his words.

Remmick extended his hand and gingerly took the money, his voice humble and sweet.

“Aw, that’s real sweet of you, darlin’. ‘S nice to know all that attitude as well as generosity runs in the family,” he said, chuckling. “Makin’ me real scared to meet the rest of y’all, though.”

His eyes cast themselves upon [F/N] with a sinister look that made her spine tingle. And she could swear she saw a glint of those same simmering coals in his eyes, his voice low.

“Can’t wait, neither.”

-ˋˏ ༻🎕°⋆༺. ✥ .༻⋆°🎕༺ ˎˊ-

a/n: SURpRISEEE SHAWTAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i owed this to y'all about 5 days ago but after today I shouldn't have anything left to do! So, I'll be free to give this fic the attention it deserves. In the meantime, this chapter is setting up the next couple conflicts that our little lovebirds (they wanna kill each other) will encounter! As you can see, it may be hard for them to overcome the bullshit they're finna go through if they can barely get along but, you see a little bit of less-mean banter between them this time. And its gonna get way better, but then its go down exponentially. a/n #2: I also just wanna thank y'all for all the sweet comments! deff motivated me to finish this chapter! Six thousand words, good god... yeah this mf finna cap off well past 40k words if I keep up w/ my current plans but, I may poll it and see how long of a fic y'all want cause I could easily go longer. But, to keep from updating every 2 seconds and burning myself out from overly crossposting and formatting, we'd be upping chapter wordcounts to abt 8k. Mind you, they wouldn't get boring because I'm a pretty productive yapper (like I think I write with minimal filler, right? RIGHT--????) but that's still cray. Might poll kit, idk. Anyways, LOVE YOU GUYS! Keep being sweet teehee!!

[smallboyonherbike]

yes i excluded all i want for xmas bc it's in its own category as greatest xmas song ever. she's got 19 total so i ruthlessly picked my personal faves :)

[theonottsbxtch]

HIDDEN IN YOU | CL16

an: this was a request and i don't know if this is exactly what you wanted however this was the only thing that came from this idea - in my defence i wasn't listening to the correct music, i was listening to nle choppa, defo not the vibes

wc: 1.4k

CHARLES SAT AT THE PRESS TABLE, a familiar weight on his shoulders as the media swarmed around him. The questions were relentless, the flashes of cameras bright and blinding. He answered each one with a practiced ease, but his mind was elsewhere, focused on her.

Her.

His darling, who was only twenty-one, so young and full of life. She, who had become his greatest source of joy, yet also his deepest guilt. He loved her. That was the problem. The older he got, the more he felt like he was robbing her of something she should be living—her golden years. She deserved someone who could be open with her, who wouldn’t hide her away from the world, but Charles couldn't do it. Not yet. Not when the media would tear them apart.

They'd met at a race two years ago. She had been just a fan then, wide-eyed and innocent, her excitement contagious. But Charles, the rising star of Formula 1, couldn't stop himself from getting to know her. Slowly, he let her into his world, a world he had never wanted to share with anyone. It felt too vulnerable, too dangerous. But somehow, they had worked. They had built something real between them.

Real... but secret.

He had told the media, as he always did, that he was single. It was a lie, a lie that tasted bitter on his tongue, but it was the only way to protect her. And as he spoke those words into the microphone, he couldn't help but glance at the back of the room, where he knew she was. He could feel her eyes on him, burning with hurt and frustration. She hated that lie. Hated it more than anything.

Charles' chest tightened as the press conference wrapped up, the questions slowing, but his mind was already racing. He knew what he had to do. He had to make things right. He had to make her understand, but he also knew that he couldn’t go back to how things were. She was angry, and rightly so. She had every right to be.

As soon as he was free, he sought her out. She wasn’t in their usual spot—the quiet corner of the hotel where they would sneak away when the cameras weren’t looking. This time, she was in their shared room, her back turned to him, her arms crossed.

“I hate you,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion.

Charles’ heart dropped. He had never heard her sound so broken before. He crossed the room slowly, stepping closer to her. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She spun around, tears welling in her eyes. “Then why? Why do you keep doing this? Why keep me hidden like some dirty secret?”

His guilt hit him like a wave, overwhelming and crushing. He reached for her, pulling her close before she could pull away, his hands cupping her face gently. “Because I love you. And I don’t want the world to ruin you.”

She looked up at him, searching his eyes for the truth. “You think they’ll ruin me?” she whispered, her voice softer now.

“I think they already have,” he admitted. He slid his fingers through her hair, brushing it back, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw. “I don’t want them to take you away from me, but more than that, I don’t want to take away your life. You’re young... you should be out there, living, not stuck in my shadow.”

She shook her head, her lips trembling. “You don’t get it, do you?”

Charles’s hand slid down to her neck, his thumb brushing the soft skin there as he leaned in close. “No. I don’t,” he whispered. “But I will. I’ll learn. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

And with that, he kissed her, not gently, but with the fierce passion of someone who had been holding back for far too long. She kissed him back with the same intensity, her anger melting away into something deeper, something more. He could feel her body pressing against his, the tension in her shoulders slowly easing.

Charles had never done this before, never let go of his control so completely. But for her, he was willing to do anything.

His lips moved against hers with a desperation he hadn’t let himself feel before. He had always been careful, always held himself back. But tonight, the guilt sat too heavy in his chest, and the only way he knew how to make it right was to show her. To make her feel everything he couldn’t put into words.

Her fingers curled into his shirt, pulling him closer, and he let her. He wanted her to. He wanted her to take from him, to let him prove that he wasn’t ashamed of her, that this thing between them wasn’t some mistake he regretted. He deepened the kiss, his hands sliding down her sides, slow and deliberate, feeling the soft curves of her body beneath his fingertips.

She let out a small gasp as he backed her against the wall, his mouth leaving hers to trail along her jaw, then down her neck. “You drive me insane,” he murmured against her skin, his voice rough with restraint. “You know that?”

Her breath hitched, but she didn’t move away. Instead, she tilted her head, offering him more, daring him to keep going.

“Then stop holding back,” she whispered.

That was all it took for something in him to snap.

His hands found the hem of her shirt, pushing it up with ease, his lips never leaving her skin as he helped her out of it. The sight of her, breathless and waiting, sent a fresh wave of guilt through him—she deserved someone who could love her openly. But for now, he could give her this. He could make her feel worshipped.

He pressed his body against hers, his hands tracing every inch of newly exposed skin, memorising the way she shivered under his touch. His name left her lips in a breathy sigh, and it nearly undid him.

Charles had never let himself be reckless with her. Never let himself get lost. But tonight, as she pulled him closer, as she met his gaze with something raw and unguarded, he knew—tonight, he would make sure she never doubted how much he wanted her. How much he loved her.

Charles’s breath was ragged as he pressed her against the wall, his hands roaming over her body like he was committing every inch of her to memory. He wasn’t careful now. He wasn’t holding back.

“Look at you,” he murmured, his voice thick with want. “So beautiful. So perfect for me.”

Her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, her body arching into him as if she was just as desperate. He loved that—loved knowing she wanted him like this, loved knowing he was the only one who got to see her like this.

“I love you,” he breathed against her skin, his lips trailing lower, leaving kisses and soft bites that made her gasp. “God, I love you so much.”

She whimpered at his words, and he swore he felt his heart clench. He had spent so long keeping her at arm’s length, making her feel like she was something to be hidden. But not tonight. Not now. He needed her to know how much she meant to him. How much she ruled him.

“You deserve better,” he muttered, his lips brushing against her collarbone. “You deserve the whole world, not some idiot who—”

She cut him off with a sharp tug of his hair, forcing him to look at her. Her eyes were blazing, her cheeks flushed. “Don’t you dare,” she whispered. “You love me? Show me.”

And fuck, he was gone.

His lips crashed against hers, his hands sliding down her bare back, gripping her like he needed her to breathe. His name fell from her lips again and again, each one more breathless than the last, and the way she clung to him, the way she gave herself to him so completely, made something primal snap inside him.

“I love you,” he groaned, his lips tracing the words into her skin as he moved lower. “I love you. I love you.”

He didn’t stop saying it. Not when he laid her down, not when he touched her like she was something sacred, and not when he finally gave in to the need that had been burning between them for far too long.

And when she came undone beneath him, her fingers gripping him like she never wanted to let go, Charles knew—he had never meant anything more in his life.

the end.

taglist: @alexisquinnlee-bc @carlossainzapologist @oikarma @obxstiles @verstappenf1lecccc @hzstry8 @dying-inside-but-its-classy @anamiad00msday @linnygirl09 @mastermindbaby @iamred-iamyellow

[nosferatu-official]

sympathy for the devil

remmick x gender-neutral reader

when your loneliness draws death to your home, you invite him inside. death, however, is never keen on leaving with nothing.

rating mature

w.c. 2.8k

tags no use of y/n, gender-neutral reader, pining and sexual tension, lil bit angsty lil bit sexy (mostly angsty), small makeout sesh, saw some posts wanting uncharismatic loser remmick so i thought i'd deliver, he's touch starved and hasn't been called by his name in years, he's the vampire but you're in control

warnings lots of blood, mention of a gun, violent metaphorical imagery

some quick disclaimers i am not a remmick apologist by any stretch of the term, i just think he's neat / i try to keep all of my x readers completely inclusive of everyone regardless of race or gender identity, so if you notice any instance of exclusive language, please lmk so i can fix it

Every night since the vampire disappeared, you stand by your screen door and stare into the dark.

You cannot name what it was within you that kept letting him past your threshold night after night in the soft blue hours before the sunrise, just as you cannot discern what kept him from seizing you in your sleep and draining you until there was nothing left. You both fought the currents of your base instincts: to survive and to feed. No one in their right mind would have continued to invite a vampire inside their home after their identity was known, and no vampire should have so easily passed up a meal such as the likes of you.

It was merely the nature of your situation; a contradiction near laughable in its absurdity.

Granted, your first allowance of his entry was born purely from the goodness of your own heart. You had no business wandering about at dawn, traipsing back and forth from your home to the nearby well, but he certainly had no business holing up in your run-down barn. The low creaking of floorboards had given him away; you knew the difference between the sound of something settling and a trespasser. He'd thrown his hands in front of his face when you flung the doors open like he expected to be assailed. You did not learn until later that it was the sunlight itself he sought refuge from.

Nonetheless, you weren't without sense. You didn't invite him inside like an old friend right then and there. Instead, you'd listened to him as he implored you to let him stay there, just for the length of the day with the promise that he'd be gone by nightfall. You made your own promise that you'd blast him to hell with the loaded shotgun you kept at your door if he raised a finger to try and steal anything.

Just as he'd said, by nightfall, he was gone, only to return the next morning.

You lived, for a while, in conscious ignorance of one another. It was not as though you had anything of value to take — not in the midst of a depression, not when your money and your livestock were long gone — and it was not as though he proved to be a problem. Like clockwork, you would hear the barn doors shut in the early morning and creak open once more as night fell. You drew many of your own conclusions; perhaps he was on the run from the law, or hiding from scornful family members.

Why, then, would he keep coming back?

There was one night that he remained — that the barn doors did not open back up. The usual silence was broken by the soft, tinny plucking of banjo strings. Maybe it was boredom that drew you out there, or curiosity, or the sound of music. You opened the doors and he was at once awash in silver moonlight, staring up at you as he tuned his instrument in the dark.

"Come to kill me?" He'd asked, as simply as wondering aloud about the time.

Maybe you should have.

Instead, you'd requested that he play you something.

You loved music. You always had — it was your sole weakness, the one thing that could pierce you to your core. It was what kept you there in the barn as he began a mournful rendition of a song about a Highland widow, stripped of her land and language. It was what drew you nearer, what caused you to ask for the banjo so you could share your own song; a harrowing tale of death and its icy grip. His eyes, dark in the dim light, watched your fingers dance across the strings and pluck a song onto the air.

Music meant something to him. It must have. It was the only reason you could figure that he didn't kill you that night.

He and his banjo were gone by the following night, but he always came back.

It was not the closing of barn doors that roused you to wakefulness at dawn, but his low humming and quiet playing outside your door.

You padded across the floor on bare feet to stand just on the other side, wordlessly listening to his mumbling song as you squinted sleepily in the rising light. His song drew to an end, and his eyes strayed back to look at the glowing horizon behind him before he turned to meet yours.

"I don't reckon I can come in?"

That morning, he crossed your threshold for the very first time.

You should have noticed it then — his gaze, hungry, though he accepted no food. His occupation of all the dark corners of your home, where the shadows chased away the light. It was strange, and he was strange, but for the first time in a long time, you spoke and there was someone to respond. Long stretches of silence were filled by music that was not your own. He gave you his name — Remmick, one like nothing you had ever heard before.

You barely managed to catch him when night fell. He was halfway across the yard when you flung your door open, standing on the porch to call out after him.

"What are you running from?"

He paused, turning to look back. There was an uncanny gleam in his eyes; a trick of the light, surely. His grin was broad.

"I'm not running," He said. "I'm searching."

In silence, you watched him walk into the night, a banjo slung over his shoulder and a song on his lips. Searching.

He came back again and again like a stray dog returning to scraps, and each time, he had a new song to share. You would sit across from him on the floor and accept each and every offering with the bobbing of your head and the tapping of your feet. He sang of keeping your lanterns trimmed and burning, and another time of the "poor wayfaring stranger." His accent, once a stark Southern much like your own, gradually dropped away into something else entirely until it was gone completely, leaving in its wake a pleasant and unfamiliar lilt. Beneath the shroud of obscurity with which he cloaked himself, there was something honest to be found.

You discovered the truth in the same way you discovered him: suddenly and without warning.

He did not come to your porch, singing you awake. The barn doors creaked shut and your eyes fluttered open. It was still dark outside; morning would not yet be for another few hours. Throwing on a coat over your nightwear, you crossed the yard to your barn and pushed the doors open. There was no moonlight to illuminate him. Your eyes slowly adjusted, finding him facing the far wall.

"You're awful early." You arched an eyebrow, humor carrying your voice. "C'mon, I've got some leftovers from supper."

He did not look back at you. Shoulders taut, he shook his head. "Not tonight."

The shadows obscured much, but you were able to discern his form within them. Something dark blossomed across his shirt and stained his hands. At once, your heart leapt to your throat.

"You're bleedin'," You breathed, rushing forward only for him to thrust out an arm and stop you from approaching.

"You stay away from me."

"Stay away? You can't be serious." You reached out to push his arm out of your way, but he caught your wrist in his grip. It happened far quicker than was natural; all you could do was choke out a gasp as he spun to face you and yanked you closer, his breaths cool and labored against your skin.

Blood. The metallic scent invaded your senses all at once. He was awash in it. It spilled down his front and smeared over his neck. As he pressed you against him, you felt it seep into your own clothing, deep and dark.

"It's not mine," He rasped.

Your gaze crawled from his chest to his mouth. Dread sank within you like a pit had opened up in your stomach. Teeth; slick with blood, sharp-ended, the maw of a beast.

Slowly, you lifted your head. His eyes searched your face, running a maddening marathon between each of your features. What he was looking for, you did not know.

Finally, bloodied lips curled into a smile.

"Do I scare you?"

You stared up at him, your wrist still locked in a vice grip. It could not stop the quivering of your hand.

I'm not scared.

Your lips longed to form around the words, but your tongue was pinned to the floor of your mouth, choking you. A shaking breath rattled from your lungs and hung in the air between you. His eyes dropped to your mouth, your lips parted, and he stared. Hungry.

Suddenly, as if shaken from a daze, he released you and stepped back. In the newfound distance, you sucked in a gasp, blinking hard.

"Go on," He ordered. "Walk. Don't run."

Your legs burned, every instinct within you set aflame as your body screamed for you to turn and leave faster than you'd ever moved before. From somewhere deep, you conjured up the resolve to steady yourself, fixing your eyes upon him as you began to take slow steps back. You did not turn, not even when you stumbled out of the barn doors and crossed the yard. You eased onto your porch and reached out to the door with your hand, hooking the lock once you were inside the confines of your home.

It wasn't until you blinked that your eyes burned with tears, heart clinging to your ribcage and blood staining your clothes.

You haven't seen him since.

The last time he darkened your doorstep was weeks ago. The barn remains empty now, and so does the seat across from you at the table. At odd hours of the day, you'll find yourself staring at it, as if something, anything will suddenly fade into existence and fill that space.

At night, you stand by the door and wait.

You wait to hear a song on the air, the plucking of banjo strings, and yet all that sings are the crickets. Land stretches out before you for miles, swathed in darkness with no one in sight, and you are alone, dreadfully alone.

The sharing of songs and stories is a tie you cannot sever. The vampire carries pieces of you, and you hold remnants of him. You grasp at them in your memory and your mind burns with shame, for you should not wish Death back into your home; he will never leave empty-handed.

One night, you venture out into the dark.

It's a short trek from your home to the nearest well. You normally only tread the path in the light of day, but the October air is crisp and the moon hangs high above your head to guide you on your way. You have grown used to being alone again. The feeling envelopes you completely, like an embrace from an old friend. Humming softly to yourself a tune about a Highland widow, you cast your bucket down and draw water up, holding it securely against your chest once you make your way back.

Your house is well within sight when the weight of a gaze settles upon you, like a rock has been dropped in the pit of your stomach. The bucket in your arms suddenly feels as though it weighs tons. Eyes on you are not something you can ignore; they do not go away. They burn into your back, boring a hole straight through you as your heart races and your throat closes.

The bucket slips from your hands, water spills across the grass, and you run.

You're pursued at once. He catches up to you, far quicker than he should; a hound on the trail of the hare. Your lungs are on fire by the time you spring onto your porch and wrench the screen door open, fumbling clumsily until your hand closes around your shotgun and you whirl around to press the barrel to the vampire's chest. He stops short of your threshold, glancing down at the weapon.

"You go on and let me in there now," He drawls, thick Southern masking his Irish song.

"Like hell I will," You hiss. "Where did you go?"

His eyes soften. Slowly, he curls his fingers around the barrel of the gun.

"I told you... I've been searching." His voice is low and placating, a boat rocking on the water. You have half a mind to move your finger from the trigger.

"Searching for what?"

He turns the barrel from his chest to the open air behind him, where darkness spans for miles. It's as if the moon has been swallowed up in shadows.

"You and I," he murmurs, "will never have to be alone again."

A chill travels down the length of your spine. You and I; he says it like there was never so much as a moment that you were separated from one another.

"I don't understand," You whisper.

"Family." He blinks hard. "Fellowship. Music. I know where to find it, but I want you with me. I - I need you with me."

Your breath catches in your throat. The gun is heavy in your hands; that must be why you tremble.

"I need your... your songs," He continues. "Your stories. We make something beautiful together, you and me."

"No."

"I can't be without you."

"No!" You shake your head, hands quivering. "I can't — I can't go with you, y - you're... you're not..."

Your voice tapers away into silence, the word dying at the back of your mouth. Human.

"Listen to me." His eyes find your own. "It doesn't have to be this way. I can save you."

The gun slips from your fingers and clatters to the wood beneath you. You don't even flinch at the sound; you stare ahead at him, unwavering, and his eyes glint crimson.

"I don't need your saving."

Surprise strikes across his face as if you slapped him with an open hand. He reaches out to touch the frame of the door, and his own hands quiver.

"I... I came back for you," He breathes, a tremor in his voice.

The words sink into you, slow and sharp. They crack your ribs open and leave you bleeding.

You stagger forward and place a hand on the doorframe to catch yourself. Your fingertips brush against his own, and he shivers. You tilt your head back and look up at him, your lips parted and your bodies close.

"Remmick," You whisper.

It's not an invitation, but it's enough. He grabs your hand and draws you hard against him, and when his lips find yours, you melt into the curve of his body. He kisses you with desperation, a man starving; hungry. Your fingers dig across his back and then tangle into his hair and he sounds a strained gasp against your lips.

"Again," He heaves, and he swallows his name as you murmur it; Remmick. It's a hymn on the hearing, a song so strange and lovely you utter it again and again: Remmick.

He presses an arm to your waist and holds you tighter, killing whatever distance left between you stone dead. His mouth closes over your neck and your heart thrums a maddening rhythm. He lingers, feather-light, over the fragile vein where the blood flows, burying his face into your skin and breathing in your scent. You cannot stand the separation, and you dip your head to kiss him again; in feverish abandon, he takes your lower lip in between his teeth, and blood fills your mouth.

At once, you choke out a gasp, and as you hastily step back, your hand flies to your mouth. Your fingertips come away, slick with your own bleeding, and the vampire stands before you with dark lines dripping from his chin. You stain his mouth and his teeth, the sharp points carving you out and drinking you in.

He stares at you, eyes wild with want. Hunger. On the horizon, the soft blue glow of morning breaks through the dark. He waits for you to welcome him in, to take you and mold you into something new and eternal.

When you speak, tears blur your vision.

"If I see you again, I'll kill you."

He says nothing. His gaze betrays no hint of feeling. He does not reach out, call your name, beg for you. The loneliness within you opens up into a dark chasm, spreading to every corner of your mind.

You squeeze your eyes shut, tears spilling down your face. When you open them again, the vampire is gone.

You taste blood, and you know that you're alive.

[darknight3904]

All Too Well

Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: After meeting Joel one late night at a bar you launch into a whirlwind romance with him. But, between a nasty breakup and the end of the world, you're left with nothing but your thoughts of the past and the way they haunt you all too well.

Warnings: 18+ Mature themes including: language, loss of virginity sexual references, SA (Not by Joel), Animal death, starvation.

Based on the song by Taylor Swift.

Word Count: 6.5k

Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Winter 2023

Jackson was a town that was almost too good to be true. You had stumbled upon it nearly 7 years ago after fleeing in the middle of the night from a band of men that had captured you. Your sanctuary was just getting started then, but the group that was working there, welcomed you with open arms and as many supplies as they could spare.

It was your own little slice of paradise in this post-apocalyptic world you were stuck in. Away from FEDRA's iron fist and the horrors that evil people inflicted on others, most days you felt like you were living the life you used to back in 2003.

Of course, some things were different now. The TV in the corner of your living room was useless and most of your meals were communal in the mess hall. But, you loved it all anyway, glad to be away from the harsh world that lay outside the walls.

Even when you were assigned to clean out the horse stables, you loved your community. Jackson was your perfect little universe, undisturbed by the past and-

"Oh, shit...Joel?"

May 2003

College finals were the two scariest words one could say to you right now. Luckily for you, you had managed to somehow pass all of them this semester. Yes, you had somehow even managed an 80 on your biology exam, you still weren't quite sure how that happened. Maybe those 3am nights poured over your books did something.

"We should celebrate tonight." Your friend, Amelia suggested from her spot on the couch

"I was thinking about ordering a pizza." You sigh as you try to work out in your mind how much you have in your bank account. Perhaps you even had enough for some wings too.

"Not like that." She scoffs, " I meant we dress up real slutty and hit some bars. Get some guys to buy us drinks."

"I wanted to watch a movie tonight though." You sigh, thinking of the Blockbuster down the road. The second X-Men movie had come out a few weeks ago and you were dying to see Hugh Jackman on your screen again.

"You can spend the rest of your life as a grandma watching movies. You're only hot once." Amelia laughs

"But-"

"No buts. Your tits are gonna be at your waist one day and you'll thank me for this." Amelia declares before skipping off to her room, mumbling about which top she'd wear.

You sigh as you watch her door close. Amelia Caddel hadn't been your first choice for sharing an off campus apartment. Afterall, she was the opposite of you in so many ways. But, Miss Life of the Party had a steady deposit of allowance in her account from mommy and daddy, meaning she never missed rent, an important factor in a roomate.

"Guess you're spending the night alone." You sigh, looking down at your cat, Loki who purred, clearly wanting a treat or perhaps another heaping bowl of kibble.

Amelia fussed with your hair as the two of you entered your first bar.

"How're you going to pick up a guy if he can't even see your eyes?" She laughs

The stuffy air and the loud music, followed by a group of frat boys cheering for someone, reminded you why you never went out.

You watched with a sigh as she sought out the closest mid twenties guy she could wrestle a few drinks out of. You trailed behind, fidgeting with the skimpy black mini dress she had coaxed you into.

You'd have to hand it to Amelia, you certainly looked hot in it.

The feel of a stranger bumping into you and the sharp scent of aftershave filled your nose, and then big hands were wrapping around your waist, keeping you from stumbling.

"Shit sorry, hon." His Texan accent sent a small shiver down your spine.

"It's fine." You mumble, jumping away from the stranger's arms.

"Tommy, let's go! Quit flirtin' with the college girls!"

The man, Tommy, mumbles another apology to you before disappearing further into the bar, in search of whoever called for him.

Joel watched as his younger brother "accidentally" bumped into some silly college girl who seemed out of her element. Joel couldn't lie, it was something his brain might've come up with if he wasn't so damn tired from today's work. When was laying concrete going to get easier?

The younger Miller brother, who hadn't succumbed to back pain just yet, whispered some false apology in the girl's ears as she jumped away from him.

Joel called for him, he couldn't let Tommy terrorize some poor twenty-something girl who looked like a deer in the headlights under his brother's gaze.

"You're getting too old to be after college kids." Joel chastizes as he sits beside Tommy at the bar.

"Oh c'mon." Tommy scoffs as he orders a beer for himself and Joel.

"You're thirty, you're not some mid-twenties loser anymore." Joel points out.

"You're no fun, Joel," Tommy says with a roll of his eyes

Joel wanted to go home. He'd wanted to go home hours ago but Tommy had dragged him out after they finally finished working on their latest project, the new local Subway was nicely constructed by the Miller brothers.

Yet, here he sat, a few hours later, Two and a half beers deep, listening to Tommy try his hand at karaoke. Joel was pretty sure his ears were bleeding as his eyes scanned the bar. Most of the patrons were so drunk, they cheered Tommy on.

Joel found his eyes settling on the girl Tommy had "bumped" into earlier. She was still alone, sat across the room at a high-top table, sipping at some fruity drink. Pretty red heels were linked on the footrest of the barstool and Joel watched as she fumbled with her purse, looking for something with a deep frown across her pretty features.

If Joel didn't have a 13-year-old waiting on him back home, he might have slipped across the bar and sweet talked his way into this girl's arms. But the thought of Sarah back home, watching TV with Mrs. Addler had his ass glued to his barstool.

Instead, he observes as you finally find your phone and make a call. He watches as your features droop in disappointment as you yell over Tommy's singing to whoever was on the other end. Joel watched with a bit of amusement as you nearly fell off the stool when you went to stand up, you must've forgotten you linked those heels onto the footrest.

Joel let out a grumble of disappointment as Tommy launched into the beginning of Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. Why had he been given the world's most annoying little brother?

Joel's eyes turn back to the mystery girl and her delicate red heels just as some frat guy from Alpha Delta- who fuckin' cares, slings an arm around her waist, hand dipping too close to the hem of her skirt for Joel to be comfortable with.

As if he's on autopilot, Joel finds himself crossing the bar in long strides, ready to put a stop to whatever might come next.

"I don't see your friend now." The guy laughs as you shift your weight from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable.

Joel hears you mumble something about wanting to go home.

"I'll give you a ride."

The guy's sleazy tone has Joel cringing as he approaches. DId anyone teach these kids manners?

"Why don't you give the lady some space?" Joel suggests boldy

Alpha-Delta-Chad turns around to meet Joel's gaze, not releasing you just yet as he scoffs,

"Who the fuck are you? Her dad?"

"Just a concerned stranger." Joel nods to you in greeting, "She doesn't seem too comfortable with you, kid. Give her some room."

"How would you even know old man?" The boy asks, "You're like forty!"

Ouch. Joel was 35. Did he really look 40? Already?

"Let her go," Joel says, his voice deepening a bit

The frat boy's eyes scan Joel's figure. Either he decides you're not worth it, or that he'd lose the fight because before Joel knows it he's letting you go and murmuring another curse at Joel.

"Thank you." You breathe a sigh of relief, and a small smile graces your pretty face as Joel nods.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

The name slips out of Joel's mouth before he can stop it and he watches in amusement as you blink away in embarrassment.

Your eyes roam across his frame and Joel can't quite place the look on your face as you...size him up?

"Could you um...walk me to the bus stop? I'd go myself but I'm worried that guy might be waiting for me outside." You ask

Joel wants to say no. He wants to stay tucked away in the bar, sipping his beer, and hope Tommy accidentally swallows the microphone he's singing into. Yet, one look into your sad, and definitely drunk eyes has him folding.

"Sure, I'll walk ya."

A warm breeze blows through the air as your savior is beside you at the bus stop. He'd insisted on waiting beside you until the bus showed up, saying something about having a daughter back home and it not being right to leave you alone out here.

"So...what's your name?" You ask, your drunk mind disliked silences.

"Joel. Joel Miller." He says, "You?"

You softly say your name, shy under his gaze.

Maybe its the three margaritas but the man next to you is hot. Short brown curly hair with dark eyes to match. Not to mention the splatter of facial hair and mustache he seemed to pull off so effortlessly. He was definitely much older than you, at least over ten years your senior. But, he was attractive in the ways all the college boys in your classes weren't.

Your eyes raked over tanned arms, toned perfectly from whatever he did to get them. You could tell he was sporting a handsome dad bod under the plain blue t-shirt on his frame. You'd never been one for a rippling six-pack, a man who'd eat pizza and ice cream with you was always going to be attractive than one who spent his days drinking protein shakes and eating eggs for "gains". Joel seemed like a guy who'd be into a binge-watch of every Star Wars movie and indulge with you in an impulsive 2am Domino's order.

"Where the hell is this bus at?"

His deep voice had you snapping from your drunken daydream of pizza and dad bods.

"Oh um..."

You're not quite sure where the bus is. Hopefully, it'd show soon. Your legs felt like a newborn deer's, no way would you be able to walk the seven and a half miles back to your apartment like this.

"Joel!"

Another voice has you and your new companion turning your heads. Another man, somehow a bit familiar in your drunk brain is approaching.

"What're you doin' man? You missed my singing."

"I heard enough." Joel huffs in annoyance

Oh, so this was the guy who was badly singing to Brittney Spears and Journey. He looked a bit more familiar though...this was the dude that had bumped into your earlier!

"Now if I'm too old to be goin' after college girls, then you're definitely too old, brother."

"I'm not...Not goin' after anyone. I'm waiting for the bus with her. Some creep was hitting on her at the bar, I'm keeping her safe." Joel groans at this man's comment.

So he wasn't interested? You felt your heart sink a bit. Of course, he wasn't interested. He had a kid for crying out loud.

Oh god, what if he had a wife? Were you daydreaming about a married man?

Your eyes jump to his left hand.

Ringless.

Well, at least you weren't fantasizing about being a homewrecker.

"The bus? It's past midnight. The bus stops running at 11:30." The new guy says, looking at his watch.

"Oh...um. I'll just go then." You say, standing up on unsteady legs. Looks like you're walking. You didn't have the money for a cab, so your legs were just going to have to tough this one out.

"Go? Go where?" Joel's friend scoffs

You ignore him, he's so weird.

"Tommy, stop it." Joel scolds

He sounds like such a dad as you laugh to yourself while smoothing your dress out.

"Do you want us to give you a ride?" Joel asks, standing up next to you

"No, I can manage the walk." You brush him off, trying to ignore the way he's so tall all of a sudden.

You were even wearing heels and he was bigger than you!

"I can call a cab," Joel suggests, watching the way your ankle nearly twists when you take a step.

"I don't have any money for one." You whimper, as the pain in your ankle shoots up your leg.

Fuck these heels. Fuck Amelia for ditching you for another bar. Fuck Joel had his stupid dad bod and tanned skin. Fuck the stupidly attractive mustache on his stupidly attractive face.

This always happened when you were drunk. First, your legs turned into literal Jello and then you'd get all weepy about nothing. At least you'd have seven miles to cry your eyes out. Hopefully, Loki would let you hold him when you got home.

"Let me give you a ride. Do you live on campus?" Joel asks his eyes widening at the tears that dribble down your face.

"I'm just gonna walk." You mumble and bush past him, forcing your legs into an unsteady match.

"That's like...an 8-mile walk," Tommy says from behind you, estimating the distance between here and the college.

"Actually seven and a half." You sass, not interested in his comments or his stupid aftershave that invaded your nose as you walked past him.

You're not entirely sure how you ended up here, in the back seat of a pick up truck while Joel drove you home. You mumbled your address to him and he'd somehow known immediately where you were living.

Hopefully, you weren't going to end up dead in a ditch tonight.

Joel watched as you rested your head against the window. He'd walked you to his truck after you got a few feet away from him before sitting down on the curb, tears running down your pretty face, mumbling something about a cat.

"Fuckin' college girls." Tommy had mumbled as he helped Joel buckle you into your seat

"Let's just get her home," Joel said

"Yeah before she turns the waterworks back on." Tommy sighed

Joel drives towards the shitty apartments they rent to college kids. Two blocks away he had once been working in a fancy new condo building, putting up drywall and laying flooring. There'd been talk about developing your area as well, but six months later the apartments of Oliver Avenue were still as shitty as ever.

Joel guaranteed you were getting ripped off by your landlord. Probably paying too much for someplace that had thin walls and bad heating. Sure enough, he was right, as he parked his trunk in front of a building that badly needed a makeover.

"Stay here." He tells Tommy who seems to be a few moments away from falling asleep in the passenger seat.

Joel pulls you from the backseat, shoving Sarah's soccer ball back under the seat when it rolls out and tries to escape.

"Alright, what floor?" Joel asks as you stand beside him, tears finally dried up.

You wordlessly begin to plod your way up the steps and murmur what sounds like a five to him.

Joel makes sure you get your door open and watches as a black cat greets you as you push the door open.

"Hi, baby." You coo at the cat, scooping him up. "Did you miss me?"

Joel feels his heart speed up as you sweet-talk your pet. He tries to banish the idea of you talking to him like that, carding your hands through his hair, rather than this little black cat with a green collar and golden bell around his neck.

"Thank you, Joel." You say as you spin around to face him

"No problem." He hums, "Glad I was able to help."

You smile at him as your damn cat meows loudly, breaking the trance you had on him.

"Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, Joel."

July 2003

The fourth of July was serious business in Austin. From mega barbeques to fireworks that put Magic Kingdom to shame, your sleepy little college town was transformed for America's birthday.

A much-needed breeze flows through the park as you sit on the blanket you'd found shoved at the back of your closet. Summer was brutal this year, and you were sure that the Texas heat wasn't making the wait for fireworks any easier.

Your parents had invited you back home to Pittsburgh this summer. But, you found yourself more interested in staying put in Austin. Your sleepy suburb town back home would always be there, no sense in spending your summer cooped up in your childhood room. At least here you could go out whenever you wanted.

"Dad, let's go! All the good spots are going to be taken!!"

A young girl's voice drifts across the park as you turn to watch her pull what must be her father along.

"Hold on, Sarah! You're gonna make me drop all this."

"Move faster then!"

Well, shit.

Joel Miller, the savior of drunk college girls, was here in the park, walking towards you.

Your eyes widen as you take him in. At least you know it wasn't just the alcohol talking, Joel Miller was just as devastatingly good-looking now as he was a month and a half ago when he drove you home from the bar.

"H-Hi." You awkwardly stammer as he passes by you, arms full with a small cooler and a big blanket.

"Hello." He says, quickly

The double take he does is almost comical as he looks at you.

"Sarah!" He calls after the girl, "Come back here!"

"Didn't think I'd ever see you again." You smile, standing up from your own spot

"Well, I do live around here." He says with a lopsided smile that makes him look a bit more boyish.

The girl, Sarah, returns to her father's side.

"Hi." She says a bit flatly, clearly annoyed her father has stopped his march across the park to what she had deemed the perfect spot.

"Hello." You greeted her, with a soft smile.

She was so cute, with dark curly hair and black shorts paired with a pretty green and blue t-shirt. Sparkly sandals caught your eye as she stepped a bit closer to Joel, looking up at him for an explanation.

Joel introduces you to her, "I helped her out a month ago, got her home safe."

You're beyond elated he's standing in front of you again. For a little bit you swore he was a hallucination you'd dreamt up in a drunken haze. A handsome Texan man who'd driven you home safely after rescuing you from some sleaze. Amelia had scolded you for hours when she found out you hadn't gotten his number.

"Super safe." You smile at him.

Joel feels a nervous sweat break out on his forehead. Here he was with his daughter ready to watch their fireworks like they always did each year and he was flirting with a girl like he was 17 again. He'd be lying if you weren't on his mind regularly. The way you'd been dressed that night haunted him at night as he lay in bed, your sweet voice filled his ears as he went about his days. He'd wondered if you only used that tone for your cat.

"You two want to sit with me? I'm not sure if these are the best seats in the house but I do have some popcorn I can share..." You trail off, giving a smile to Sarah who enthusiastically agrees at the idea of free food.

Joel settles next to you as Sarah talks your ears off about soccer practices and the pool party Joel took her to a few weeks ago. He watches as you listen intently to his daughter's words. So rarely does a woman he's interested in take time to talk to Sarah. Yet, here you were, in college and interacting with his daughter better than most grown women did.

"So how old are you?"

Joel nudges Sarah with his shoe, doesn't she know that's a rude question? He could've sworn he taught her better.

"I'm 23. 24 this August." You say

"Wow," Sarah says

You turn away for a moment, reaching for the bag of popcorn that sits behind you. Joel's eyes widen as he watches Sarah silently mouth to him,

"She's so old!"

If you were old, did that mean he was ancient? God, how old did his daughter view him as? He could've sworn 35 wasn't that bad. Maybe it was though...

"So, 23. You're graduating soon then, yeah?" Joel asked

"I wish." You sigh, "I took a gap year after high school, and then just couldn't find the right major for a bit. I'm technically on track to become a Physician Assistant but I dunno if it's right for me."

Joel nods, he knows the feeling, not knowing if what you're doing is right. He'd felt that way when Sarah was born, and then when her mother left them, and then every time Sarah was hurt or crying, or just not perfectly happy, Joel felt that way, unsure of himself.

"You'd make a great PA, Sweetheart." Joel genuinely says, placing a hand over yours

"Thanks." You say a bit flustered at the physical contact.

"Gross," Sarah comments at what's unfolding before her eyes.

"You're gross." Joel counters, not missing a beat to tease her.

Sarah sticks her tongue out at him in retaliation, and Joel does the same.

You spend the rest of your summer with the Millers. In between public pool trips, and catching fireflies in the backyard, you somehow end up entangled with Joel. Staying up on the couch beside him, watching movie after movie when Sarah drifted off into dreamland up in her bed.

Before you know it, Joel is picking you up for dates and meeting you at coffee shops to let you talk his ears off about whatever book you've picked up for the week.

You let Joel take your virginity on a humid August night. After sending Sarah off to her friend's house you let him pull you into his room and under the sheets.

Breathless and sweaty you rest your head on his chest.

"You okay?" Joel asks quietly, running a hand up and down your back

"Mmhm." You sigh dreamily

"Didn't hurt you or nothin'?" He asks

"I'm okay, Joel." You laugh

"Just checking." He mumbles

Joel looks a bit out of place as he sits on your couch. Sarah had a week of soccer camp and the two of you decided to spend it together. Loki jumps up on the cushion beside Joel and lets out a loud meow.

"Pet him." You suggest with a shrug

"He doesn't even like me." Joel huffs staring into your cats eyes

"You nearly sat on him the first time you were here." You remind Joel of his previous crime from a week ago.

"I thought he was a throw pillow." Joel defends himself, motioning to the many pillows you and Amelia had scattered around the apartment.

"You thought I had a green-eyed pillow that meowed?"

"I dunno what you women are into, you're all so confusing."

You let out a scoff before plopping down on the couch next to him, Loki climbing into your lap and purring as you scratch behind his ears.

"The only confusing one here is you, Joel Miller."

Tommy isn't as bad as you thought he was.

Scratch that, he's fantastic, pulling out old photos of Joel from over the years. You nearly piss yourself though when he whips out an old family album. A nine-year-old Joel stares back at you as you look at an old photo of him playing tee-ball.

"Look how cute you were!" You gasp as you run your fingers across the photograph

"Joel Miller, star tee-ball player!" Tommy teases his big brother.

You smile as you watch Joel's face turn red as you take in even more photographs of him as a kid, you even see his 10th-grade photo, yes the one where he has braces and the worst case of acne known to mankind.

By the time the Texas heat begins to ease off and the leaves begin to change colors, you're head over heels in love with Joel Miller. From the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, to the way he'd dance with you in the dead of the night while the refrigerator door hung open, the light reflecting off your bodies as you laughed in his arms.

Three months, such a short time, and yet so much had happened. You tried to focus on the Anatomy lesson your professor was talking about in front of you yet you found your mind occupied with something else. It was as if you had been possessed, nothing but Joel filled your mind as you scribbled your notes onto your notebook. Anatomy class be damned, you were going to go mad thinking of him like this.

Your birthday, August 29th rolled around faster than you thought it would. You hadn't seen Joel all week. Between your classes, Sarah's soccer and school, and Joel's contracting, you had only time to talk to him briefly on the phone.

You had reached out to Joel earlier today to invite him to a small birthday party Amelia had insisted on. Nothing special, just some pizza and cupcakes, a cheap beer or two.

But now, it was going on 10:30 and Joel was nothing but a whisper in the wind. Sadness weighed on your chest as you watched the front door, hoping for a knock that would signal his arrival.

"Hey...I think we should just go to bed..."Amelia suggests softly from her spot next to you.

"No, he's coming." You mumble sadly tears tickling your waterline,

You stare at the last cupcake that sits on the coffee table. It was meant to be for Joel. You had scooped it out of the box thinking about how nice the icing looked on it. You had wanted him to have the best one in the box, even if that meant your own was a little lopsided and missing sprinkles.

Amelia pulls you into her side, letting you rest your head on her shoulder. She gently wraps her arm around you and quietly says,

"It's supposed to be fun, turning 24..."

September 2003

Three days pass before you hear from Joel again. His voice on the other end of the phone call is paralyzing as your world comes crashing down. The phone beeps as the call ends and you stand at your kitchen counter in shock, shocked that he's ending it all like this, with a phone call.

"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."

His words bounce around in your mind as you slam your phone down on the counter. Loki jumps from his spot on the windowsill meowing as you cross the room quickly.

You pulled your covers over your head, blocking out the world as you heard Amelia return from her ethics class.

"If we had been closer in age, maybe it would've been fine."

God, that made you want to die. What did he even think of you? That you were some wide-eyed college kid who just existed in limbo for him?

You spend the next week in bed, plagued with tears and anger as you curse Joel out at least 1000 times a day. The knock at your door and Amelia entering your room with a box has you startled.

"What's this?" You sniff

"UPS guy just left it at our front door." She says before setting it on the bed and leaving you again.

You cut the box open and find your things inside it. Little things you'd left at Joel's over the summer. Hair ties, a brush, deodorant, t-shirts, and sweaters, even a photograph of you, Sarah, and him at the aquarium is nestled between the pages of a book you kept on his nightstand to read to him before the two of you dozed off. The box holds your entire relationship as you dump it out on your bed.

The scent of Joel, masculine and inviting clings to your belongings just like the way it clings to your heart.

Your hands shift through the items again, the scarf you wore to Tommy's house is missing. You had left it there and Joel had promised to return it to you.

"Who wears a scarf in Texas?" Joel snorts

"I do! And you better give it back, Miller." You groan

"I'll get it to you, sweetheart. Don't worry about it."

You wonder what has become of your scarf now. Perhaps it's sitting in a drawer in his room, nestled among his belongings, looking horribly out of place. Or maybe it's stuck in his truck, shoved under the seats under the pretense that it would make its way back to you one day.

You wonder what has become of Joel now. Perhaps he's lying in his own bed right now, thinking of you, your scarf wrapped around his hands, smelling of you and all his failures.

You wonder if this love affair bruised him the way it did you.

God, you had so many regrets.

December 2003

Cold air fills your lungs as your feet ache beneath you. Snow gently fell down as you sighed quietly. The walk into your hometown was no joke. The shitty beater car you'd stolen had died about 50 miles ago, leaving you vulnerable and scared.

Loki meowed from his crate as you quietly walked along. You shushed him and dropped a few treats behind the bars of the crate. He was going to need food soon if you intended to stay alive, your traveling companion wasn't known for holding his tongue when it came to hunger. The last thing you needed was to have an infected try to kill you because of your pet.

It had been nearly 5 days on the road now. and You'd managed to drive from Austin to Pittsburgh all on your own armed with a shotgun and a map you'd found in the glove compartment.

The past few months had been spent in Joel's basement. After things started going south outside your apartment building, you stuffed Loki into his carrier and filled a two big duffle bags with food and clothes for you and supplies for your cat before managing to somehow sneak into the parking deck and jump into your car. Amelia had never returned from her boyfriends house that night. You knew you couldn't go looking for her though, his home was nearly 25 miles away while Joel's was only 10.

It was mid-morning on September 27th when you reached Joel's place. The other neighborhood homes were empty and you nearly threw up at the sight of Mrs. Adler's mother lying face down on the driveway.

Your heart sinks when you discover Joel and Sarah are already gone. You hadn't expected them to be here yet, a part of you had hoped they'd be. It was Joel's birthday yesterday, you wondered how he'd spent his last normal day. Knowing him, he'd probably been at work all day.

You barricade the doors before slipping into the basement. Joel had spent time finishing it so it was nice for Sarah's sleepovers. You let Loki out before returning upstairs to bring down every nonperishable food item the home had to offer.

And so, there you sat with your cat, in your ex's basement, willing for him to magically appear and tell you everything was going to be okay.

March 2017

The Pittsburgh QZ was fucked. Royally fucked. The loud explosion from some truck filled your ears as you zipped your backpack shut. Loki let out a meow of protest as he disappeared in your bag. He was nearly 15 and his attitude about backpack travel wasn't improving.

You stick to the back alleys as you work towards finding an out. A decent-sized hole in a fence catches your eye and you take your chances, better than getting blown up by the Fireflies or FEDRA.

You're about 4 miles away from the carnage when a sizeable group catches your eye. They must've gotten out just like you.

A man, David, shares a can of flavorless chili with you and you sit on the ground beside him. But, the more you listen to him talk, you can't help but think he's a total nutcase. You thank him for the chili and the 8 cans of chicken noodle soup he's shared with you and decline his offer to join the group.

"We have so much to offer." He says in a soft voice, gesturing to the people scattered around eating and talking amongst themselves.

"I'll stick to just him, thanks though." You say petting Loki's head as you pull him from your backpack to place the cans of food inside.

"Suit yourself."

April 2017

You had dozed off. A rookie mistake to make in the apocalypse.

They had been on you before you knew what was happening. With nothing but a knife to your name to protect yourself, you were hopelessly outgunned.

"Look at what we have here." A deep voice booms, "A girl wondering in my woods, must be my lucky day."

A smelly man stands in front of you, and about 8 other men are circled around you. You squeeze your eyes shut as he lets a dirty finger trail over your face.

"How pretty."

A loud hiss cuts his next sentence. Loki, you brave boy, has climbed out of your backpack where he had been taking a nap. His back has hunched up and you don't miss the way his dark black fur is bristling in the low light of the sun disappearing behind the trees.

You aren't even able to try to arrange a deal for your baby as the man pulls a large knife from his belt and carelessly throws it at your cat.

A horrible screech from Loki fills your ears as the man coos at you and tells you it'll all be okay.

"We've got dinner boys!" The man who has killed your only friend in the whole world exclaims.

Your eyes slam shut as red blood begins to seep into the fabric of your backpack. The man says something about being a provider but you're too focused on choking back the tears that are forming in your eyes.

Hours later, you're tied to a tree stump, your arms behind your back. Your captors present you with a warm soup of sorts. Canned carrots and potatoes float in a clear broth but it's what sits in the center of the bowl that turns your stomach. What's left of your Loki is now being devoured by the men.

You can't do it. You had been starving, unable to catch anything for days. but you can't do it.

"Fine, don't eat." The leader and cat killer huffs as he runs his hands across your chest in an unpleasant matter, "You're going to wish you had though when we're done with you."

June 2017

The moon is your only light as you steal away into the night. Your heart is pounding but you can't or rather won't look back.

Your escape is credited to a man named Adam. He had always been softer to you than the rest. Less brutal than the others when he bent you over a tree stump and forced himself into your unwilling body, cooing in your ears about how good you felt even though you were dry.

Softer and easy to fool when you batted your eyelashes at him so he'd give you a second serving of the deer they'd killed. Gentle when he cleaned whatever wounds the others inflicted on you for their sick pleasure.

Tonight, you had used his softness against him. Crying and whimpering when he tied you to a tree, saying the restraints were too tight. He'd of course taken pity on you and loosened them before kissing your forehead and walking off to sleep.

It had been easy to slip out of the ropes thanks to Adam. You stole his backpack and stuffed it with as much deer jerky as you could get your hands on before snatching a gun off Adam's unknowing form.

Now, you were stumbling through the night, hoping to put as much distance between you and the men as possible.

Nearly three weeks had passed and you were still somehow free. The men hadn't found you and you were deep into the wilderness. Your freedom was something you had yearned for since the moment Loki had died. Yet, here you were, starving and wasting away because you couldn't kill anything to eat.

You drag your body into an old concrete building that was being used to control some form of dam. You rested your head on your backpack, thinking of how far you'd come.

Strangely though, you thought of your past. Fuzzy images of a college classroom came into your brain. Amelia's long blonde hair and the way she'd style it perfectly each day. Texas summers, filled with heat and perfectly seasoned barbeque.

What you wouldn't do for a big plate of ribs right now.

And then the curly hair of a little girl is dancing around your mind. Her warm laughter fills your mind as you think of Sarah Miller. With her sparkle filled sandals and her strange interest in gore filled horror films. You wondered if she was still out there somewhere. Perhaps stuck in some QZ with Joel.

Joel.

You think about Joel. You're sure you've thought of him more in the past three months than you did your whole relationship. Every night when one of your captors, or sometimes multiples had you every which way, you'd try to think about other things. Those other things often divulged into Joel and how gentle he'd been with you. Oh, how you missed his warm arms and soft southern twang. Hou you yearned for him even now. Your only real relationship experience was something you just couldn't let go.

When you were finally found by Maria, you were nearly ready for death. Brain filled with delusional thoughts of the past and starving, she had hoisted you up on her horse and rode off to Jackson, praying this mystery woman wouldn't die on the way there.

Winter 2023

You nearly fall over when his tired eyes meet yours. The loud voice of a young girl fills your ears.

"Do you two know each other?"

You push the stable door open to get a better look at the man who stands before you. For so many years you had pictured the man you dated for a few months, not trying to imagine the way the end of the world might've changed him. Your mind can't reconcile the Joel you once knew and the one before you.

For starters, he looks so tired. Graying curly hair sits atop his head, a salt and pepper beard adorns his face. Even his frame has changed, the winter coat he wears hides it but you can tell he's become riddled with muscle to take on the harsh outside world. The only thing that seems the same is his mustache, somehow untouched by time.

"Joel, wait up! There's something I gotta tell ya!"

Tommy's loud voice carries from wherever he is and you want to laugh at the younger Miller brother. Of course, he was going to try to intercept your meeting. Too bad he was too slow.

"Joel? Hello? Do you know her?" The girl asks again.

You glance at her, she can't be more than 14 or 15. Her pale skin is rosy against the cold Wyoming winter. She looks at you, probably for an answer since all Joel is doing is staring at you, most likely in shock.

Eventually, though, the man of the hour opens his mouth to speak,

"No, I don't know her."

This is my first time writing for Joel, hope you enjoyed :)

Next Part

Comment to be added to the tag list. This tag list is not chapter by chapter, I carry the tags over to each part.

Tags:

@lunaticgurly @orcasoul

[lordprettyflackotara]

kehlani || mattheo riddle

SMUT MINORS DNI 18+. i have no tw’e for this besides the fact this is meant to be like a ✨mystery✨ so happy kinktober detectives!

Mattheo Riddle did not care for relationships.

His father had taught him long ago romantic entanglements were a waste of time. Even with his mother being his father’s right hand in war, he saw her nothing more than just another soldier. Mattheo adored his mother, resulting him deciding it wouldn’t be suitable for him to treat a witch like that. So as he attended Hogwarts University, he focused on his studies instead. The expectation of reviving his father was on his shoulders, the death eaters lurking in the shadows eagerly awaiting Mattheo’s next move. Truthfully Mattheo was a bit behind on his responsibility of being the dark lords son.

Besides stirring up generic chaos in classroom settings with his posse, Mattheo wasn’t living up to the expectations everyone had placed upon him. If anything him and his mates were enjoying having a break from assisting in world domination. Theodore Nott and Draco Malfoy were his right hand men, both pure bloods and death eaters themselves. To pass time besides creating entertaining mischief, they found themselves doing what most wizards were doing at their age: partying until the motherfucking sun came up.

Slytherin’s had always been known to throw the most exciting parties, but the outrageous substances at these parties only escalated once they were all in University. With the war over and many Slytherin’s sent to azkaban, the remaining sought to get high or drunk to find a way to cope with their sorrow. Whether or not they believed in Voldermort’s plan was irrelevant, many just coping with the evil stereotype placed upon them. Or in Draco and Theodore’s case, their parents being sent to azkaban for life. In Mattheo’s case, both his parents were dead. The expectation was exhausting if he were being honest, something he only was with Draco and Theo after a good blunt.

It was another one of those kind of nights, the Slytherin common room crowded with party attendees. Not many other houses had the courage to attend Slytherin parties and when they did, they dressed in neutral clothing to blend in. Mattheo could always spot another house member from a mile away though. Gryffindors were often too rowdy, Ravenclaws too reserved, Hufflepuffs too eager to try anything and everything put in front of them. They might as well have written their house on their forehead if you asked Mattheo. He watched the party over the rim of his red solo cup, a custom that Theo had shamelessly stolen from muggle culture. After the war Theodore Nott had been sentenced to community services to assist the muggles. The council assumed it would help them abolish his stigmatization. Unfortunately all it really did was introduce him to the world of muggle drugs.

Draco stood beside Mattheo, inhaling the freshly rolled blunt. If there was anything the three of them thought muggles were good for, it was their drugs. Strobe lights and blaring music helped Mattheo drown out any sort of coherent thoughts, his body living in the now. Theo elbowed him from the other side, cocking his head to the left. “Hey, who the hell is that? I can’t figure out what house she’s in,” Theo asked. He gestured to you, Mattheo’s eyes lighting up at the sight of you. You looked like a breath of fresh air. He had never seen you before, but merlin were you stunning. You wore a black sparkly dress as you talked to what looked to be a Ravenclaw. “Couldn’t tell ya. But she’s not Slytherin so therefore she’s most certainly not pure,” Draco chimed in. Theo and Draco were on opposite ends of the spectrum. Theo would fuck anything with two breasts, while Draco only sought out purebloods. Mattheo feared the pureblood ideology had seeped a little too deep into the blondes head, but he’d never mention it.

“Huh. She doesn’t look like any of them honestly,” Mattheo muttered. Finishing his drink he carelessly tossed the red solo cup away, wiping his upper lip with his sleeve. Curiosity was beginning to nag at Mattheo as he watched you laugh. “I think i’ll go find out,” He announced, confidently strolling over to you. The moment he arrived to your conversation the Ravenclaw boy took a hint, disappearing into the never ending sea of swaying bodies. Your eyes met Mattheo’s, the brunette digging in his pocket and taking out a box of cigarettes. “Cig?” He offered, handing it out to you. You politely declined, watching him place a cigarette between his lips. “Who doesn’t smoke these days?” He asked, lighting the cigarette with the end of his wand. You awkwardly shrugged. “I guess me,” You answered. Mattheo couldn’t quite understand why he was even talking to you, putting aside the morbid curiosity. “So what house are you in?” Mattheo asked. He figured once you answered he’d lose interest, as he did most things.

“Hufflepuff.”

Your answer surprised him, considering how confident you were standing. “Thats shocking,” Mattheo answered honestly. You seemed confused, raising an eyebrow. “Oh? Why is that shocking?” You asked. Mattheo chuckled as he inhaled his cigarette, relishing in the feeling of the tobacco swirling around his lungs before he exhaled. “Well, usually Hufflepuff’s piss themselves when I try to talk to them,” Mattheo explained. He found the situation odd. He had been around the block many of times and was always able to stop the micro movements that belonged to each house. Yet you shockingly displayed none of them. “Huh. You don’t seem so scary to me,” You quipped. Mattheo found himself entertained, chuckling again. “Do you know who I am?” He asked. It was impossible that you didn’t know who he was if you were a student here. “Of course I do. You just aren’t that scary to me,” You replied. The brunette was at a loss for words, the tension between the two of you growing awkward. Mattheo glanced at his friends, who were observing the two of you chat from a far. He figured he should return to them, having the answer to the question they wanted to know.

Just as he was about to walk away, your voice interrupted him, “Wanna dance?”

Your question had taken him aback. No one had ever asked him to dance before. Doing so took a lot of courage, a strangely Gryffindor trait for such a confident Hufflepuff. “Sorry sweetheart I don’t dance,” Mattheo declined, a sly smirk crawling up his lips. You laughed at his remark, grabbing his arm. “Sure you do,” You replied, dragging him onto the self designated dance floor. Mattheo didn’t recognize whatever song was playing, the bass loud and borderline overbearing if he was sober. The only dancing he had ever done was traditional ballroom style, the kind you’d do at the Yule ball for example. He wasn’t quite sure what to do as you swayed your hips in front of him, your eyes gleaming up at him as you patiently waited for him to join. He nervously finished his cigarette, tossing it aside and exhaling through his nose. It wasn’t often Mattheo felt nervous, but your confidence compared to his reluctance definitely made him feel so. You grabbed his hands, your touch warm and soft as you placed them on your hips. You pressed your body against his, Mattheo’s cheeks growing hot. “I’m not quite sure you wanna do that sweetheart, i’m not gentle,” He purred.

Mattheo wasn’t a virgin or anything, having experimented plenty in his teen years. He knew he was rough when it came to sex. He had been on the straight and narrow for a couple of years now, focusing on world domination or whatever his father wanted. But your hips were tempting. Your confidence made it all of the better, your long eyelashes batting up at him. “I didn’t ask if you were. Who knows? Maybe I like it a bit rougher,” You hummed. You turned around, your ass placed against his crotch. Mattheo readjusted his grip on your hips, squeezing the flesh harshly even with your dress providing some form of protection. Mattheo’s hips involuntarily grinded against yours, your body shamelessly dancing to the music. “You’re playing in the snake den princess, wouldn’t want you to get bit,” Mattheo grumbled into your ear, his breath deliciously hot against your skin. You grinned at the sensation, soaking in the attention. “You don’t scare me Riddle,” You replied, pushing your ass against him. He felt himself growing hard under your touch, having not felt someone this close to him in a long time.

Hearing his name fall off of your tongue was music to his ears, the green strobe lights dancing off of your body. Mattheo glanced over at Draco and Theodore, who were cheering him on from a far. Draco was intoxicated enough to put aside his pureblood bigotry and was giving Mattheo two thumbs up. Theo on the other hand was plastered, fresh flakes of cocaine still decorating his upper lip. He was mouthing the words ‘fuck her!’ as he childishly humped the air. Mattheo rolled his eyes, before returning his gaze back to you. Mattheo began having an internal debate, wondering if he should give in to his urges. Could he really allow you to be treated like his mother long term if he followed in his father’s footsteps? He bit his bottom lip as he admired your ass. Maybe he wouldn’t be too terrible of a person if he let you seduce him. Just for a night anyways. “Hey you wanna get out of here?” Mattheo asked, his lips a millimeter away from your earlobe. You grinned as you turned around, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Lead the way.”

Mattheo had a lot of questions about you. You were so mysterious, eagerly following him down to the lower level dungeons where the forms were. He shared a dorm with Theodore and Draco, who would know the room was being more than occupied. His questions arose even further when your lips clashed with his before he could barely shut the door. You were eager and desperate to have him, which puzzled him endlessly. Mattheo was a walking threat to any other witch and wizard, yet a supposed Hufflepuff was nibbling at his bottom lip. Mattheo found himself just as desperate to match your energy, not having any relief from pent up stress in Merlin knows how long. He pressed you against the door, kissing down the side of your neck. His large hands cupped your waist, itching to pull up your dress. “Never would’ve thought the devil would be as eager as me,” You teased, tilting your head to the side to allow him better access.

The time for thinking was over, his hormones and desires in full control as he unzipped your undress. “Never seen a Hufflepuff so slutty,” Mattheo countered, his voice husk as watched your dress fall. Goosebumps rose across your skin as he admired your frame, licking his lips. “You’re looking at me like a virgin Riddle,” You teased, causing Mattheo to chuckle. As he lowered himself to his knees he looped his fingers with your lacey black panties, pulling them down before tucking them into his pocket for safe keeping. His mind wondered to your witty comment, making a mental note how Ravenclaw like it sounded. Your glistening cunt was the perfect distraction from his thoughts, your legs slowly spreading open. Like a starved man Mattheo dived into your folds, lapping at your cunt as if he was dying of thirst. “Fucking shit, Riddle-” You moaned, tilting your head back against the door. Your fingers raked through his chocolate curls, pulling at them as he sucked on your clit. Mattheo wrapped his arms around your plush thighs, pulling them closer to him.

You were so cute like this, so desperate and horny. “Feel good princess?” He mumbled into your slick, watching you fall apart against his door. You were bucking your hips against his face, the knot in your stomach tightening. Your thighs squeezed around his head, before a wave of euphoria crashed down over you. Your heart pounded as you danced with stars, your breath shallow as you tried to catch it. You looked down at a cocky Mattheo Riddle, your juices coating his chin and lips as he grinned up at you. “I’m that good huh?” He asked sarcastically. You reached down and grabbed his emerald tie, yanking him to his feet. Mattheo followed your lead, guiding you to his bed. Your tongues danced for dominance as your juices coated your own taste buds. Mattheo fell back onto the bed, watching you eagerly paw at his belt. He put his hands behind his head, attempting to enjoy the experience as obnoxious questions circled his mind. “So uh, how come i’ve never seen you around before?” He asked suddenly. His questioning didn’t faze you though, his belt clinking as you pulled down his trousers.

“I’m a transfer student,” You answered automatically. You palmed Mattheo through his boxers, attempting to get him to focus on the matter at hand. Mattheo found your attempt to be dominant quite brave, causing him to prop himself up on his elbows. “We take transfer students?” He asked. You glared up at him, taking his hard cock out of his boxers. “Quite obviously since i’m here, now do you want me to suck your dick or not?” You quipped, tired of the interrogation. Mattheo verbalized agreement, laying back and closing his eyes as you took him into your mouth. You were hot and everything, but all of your traits were contradicting. It was like you were all of the houses at once. He tried to enjoy the way you bobbed your head up and down on his cock. The way you picked the underside of his shaft and kitten licked the tip to tease him. Yet his mind poked and prodded at him, causing him to prop himself up on his elbows once more. “Yeah sorry just one more question, how did you get sorted if you transferred-” He began, the dorm door opening causing him to stop mid sentence.

Draco and Theo stood in the doorway, covering each others eyes. “I told you he was going to be in here!” Theo hissed, cringing in disgust. Your face was flushed with embarrassment as you scrambled to cover yourself, while Mattheo instantly went to pull his pants back up. “Fuck this,” You grumbled, pulling down your dress. Mattheo scrambled to follow you, managing to button up his pants before trailing behind you.

“Hey wait! I didn’t even catch your name!”

“It’s Kehlani,” You hissed coldly, before shoving past Draco and Theodore and storming out of the room.

[chrollohearttags]

CHARACTER ANALYSIS: EREN JAEGER AKA EJ THE DON

so in honor of me finally reviving Reverb, I decided to do some character analyses and info cards, if you will. These were so much fun (and a lot of work) to make and I really hope y’all like them. I was heavily inspired by a wonderful, talented mutual of mine and her amazing character analysis she did for her series a while back! As always, y’all know reblogs and comments are appreciated!! (Fair warning, this is a long read but it’s been in the works since last year and I hope y’all enjoy)

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╗ ╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╗ ╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧. ✦✧.

name: Eren Michael Jaeger | date of birth + sign: March 31st, 1998 (aries sun) | age: 26 | aliases/nickname: EJ, Eren, EJ The Don, The Underground God, Rennie | pronouns: he/him/his | sexuality: straight (but a bit bi-curious) | race/ethnicity: white, italian/turkish + german

song in the video: ChainSwang - BONES (slowed and reverb ver.)

biography and early life: Eren was born in Montclair, New Jersey to his mother Carla and father, Dr. Grisha Jaeger. The couple met while Carla was working as a bottle girl at a gentleman’s club called Starlets in New York, when she was nineteen years old. (age gap oops)

Grisha, who was working at Mount Sinai as part of his residency, was twenty seven at the time and married to (but separated from) socialite and heiress, Dina Fritz. The two were a classic case of opposites attracting and it didn’t take long for their bond to flourish from a one night fling to something far more. A year into their relationship, Carla learned that she was pregnant and Grisha, who had annulled his first marriage some months prior, proposed right away and the couple settled in the suburbia township to raise their newborn son. Eren was described as a ‘very enigmatic and unique child’. Growing up, he was said to have always had a natural inclination towards music. From playing on toy keyboards to babbling songs into his Spider-Man karaoke machine at just three years old, it seemed that early on, the young prodigy was shaping his destiny. Eren attended the Montclair Township Charter Elementary, alongside his childhood best friends, Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Artlert, who were among many of the children of affluent families. He was extremely intelligent and schoolwork was a breeze. The problem was that he could be less interested! Eren struggled to focus and with maintaining relationships, which worried his mom. She took him to therapists, sought counseling and even considered moving him to alternative school when he began getting into trouble.

She worried what would happen to him…but luckily, her fears were for nothing because soon, Eren would show her and the entire world his true purpose. When he was ten years old, Carla enrolled her son in lessons for piano and guitar. During this time, he began to really hone his musical talent, and needless to say, he was a prodigy. All but mastering everyone he picked up. This seemed to be the area that little EJ most thrived in. Even his friendships began to grown. Having left New Jersey before they went to middle school, Mikasa and Armin were the only two people he'd bonded with. But eventually, Eren found companionship in several people from all walks of life and other areas of town. He didn't care about how much money someone had or what they looked like, he just enjoyed like minded people. Finding himself hanging out, playing basketball, skating and of course, making music. However, his father was less than pleased with his academic performance and new group of comrades. As the son of a prestigious doctor, Eren knew that his father wouldn’t approve of his hobbies if his grades weren’t up to par but he never expected that the catalyst for his dreams would be their falling out..when Eren was 15 years old, he made the decision to leave home and emancipate himself from his parents after a horrendous fallout with his dad.

It came as a shock to his friends, who felt that his life was objectively better than their own. However, it was the principle and anyone who truly knew the situation..knew that it was a long time coming and much deserved. Years of being put down or not acknowledged for refusing to follow in his footsteps and the final straw came when his father's cowardice and lying caused him to lose someone very important to him. Something that Eren could not forgive (explaining this later in the story!) After receiving $300 from his older half brother, young EJ boarded a bus to Miami, not looking back once. And he was fully prepared to make a life for himself, one not attached to his dad's name..no matter the cost. After arriving in Florida, Eren would work odd jobs to provide for himself and found housing at a local boys home in the Northside area. Just two blocks from Ocean Shore High School, where he finished out the remainder of his junior and senior years. It was then that he met fellow classmates and future group members Connie Springer and Onyakopon 'Ony' Baptiste (he doesn't canonically have a last name that I am aware of so I gave him one and I will explain it in his own backstory). The three of them immediately bonded and only grew closer when they played on the varsity basketball team together and began working at a local shoe store in the Aventura Mall. This would be the first time that the world would get a glimpse into Eren's musical talents when his friends would record him singing Miguel's "Sure Thing' in the backroom of the store and posted it online.

career: After going viral, Eren began to take his craft even more serious. Going from penning rhymes in his notebook between periods to doing makeshift recording sessions in the chorus classroom, he would post covers and original songs to a YouTube channel as well his Sound Cloud. He would save a portion of his paychecks and do yard, mechanic and janitorial work for neighbors to procure studio time. He eventually saved up and purchased a MacBook, and began making instrumentals. It was during this time that he began working a temp job for a local underground club, where artists like Denzel Curry, Ice Billion Berg and Pouya got their starts. Hired to clean up after sets and during closing, Eren would listen in on the performances, watching, studying and observing the rappers' movements. Having never done an official performance, it was an area he had no experience in. But during an open mic night at the club, he got an opportunity and didn't miss! Debuting one of his now infamous tracks, First Degree, Eren once again shocked everyone with how talented and charismatic he was. It was almost as if rapping and singing came as naturally as speaking did. Now 18 years old, graduated from high school and riding the momentum of his first stage set, Eren continued to grind. Working by day and recording and writing by night. It was then that he began going by the name EJ the Don after Ony joked about his New Jersey and Italian origins, implying that he must have 'mafia ties' because he assimilated into life in this rough area so well. His image and brand slowly came together afterwards..embracing the dark, edgy aesthetic coupled with his buttery smooth voice and unique lyricism, Eren was in a league all on his own.

And it didn't take long for the rising star to catch the attention of some big names in the industry, including renowned Neo-Soul artist and five time Grammy winner Vivian James. Who was not only doing a show at the Miami Amphitheater for a music festival but scouting prospects for the talent agency giant, Ackerman Management Group. Known for catapulting the careers of some of the biggest names in music, modeling and acting. Still building his reputation, EJ got the chance of a lifetime when he not only received a job request but an invitation from Vivian herself, looking for a backup vocalist and pianist. Naturally, being a huge fan on top of a starving artist, Eren immediately accepted and the rest was history! Vivian was blown away that he was able to recite the songs verbatim and so perfectly on such a short notice..so much so, she gave Eren an offer he couldn't refuse: an audition with AMG on the condition that he would work as her protege regardless and it was a no brainer. Two days after his nineteenth birthday, EJ the Don officially signed with Ackerman Management Group, the family business of his old childhood friend, Mikasa. Who was going by the stage name Mika ASH. But it wasn't smooth sailing for the new rap sensation..although he was Vivian's protege, he captured the attention of other executives who was interested in more than his music. Unfortunately, it caused them to try and take advantage of him, both career wise and physically. Eren persevered and focused on what his goal truly was and that was sharing his gift with the world. Six months after being signed, he released his first EP, Living Dead Boy. He went on tour shortly after and released Living Dead Boy II: The Casket Chronicles a year later. Fast forward and Eren took the 'horrorcore' rap scene and the internet by storm, with his gritty wordplay and captivating visuals. Ten years later, he is hailed as the Underground God and widely credited for reshaping the genre as a whole.

musical muses: BONES (the character playlist can be found here), $uicideBoys, August Alsina, Jon Dretto

notable achievements: LivingDeadBoy I sold 50,000 units its first week and debuted number seven on the charts. But his debut single, First Degree was number two on the charts and widely viral on social media. LivingDeadBoy II: The Casket Chronicles sold five times with 250,000 units and at just 20 years old, EJ had his first sold out tour in North America. His debut album was very successful and received two Grammy nominations. (even though he doesn't give a shit about awards and accolades) EJ the Don has released over ten EP's and five mixtapes, as well as three studio albums, one being a visual series. He has gone on to produce, write with and direct for several other artists, including Prince Cee + Ony the God, his high school friends and fellow musicians. He has earned 2 VMA's and appeared in a BET Hip Hop Awards cypher. He has headlined two North American tours seperately and three international ones alongside his groupmates. EJ has made many accomplishments in his ten year rap reign and is far from done.

personality traits, flaws, etc: Eren can be described as very emotional by some yet stoic in the same breath. He can be temperamental, not thinking hostile actions through sometimes. He acts of his own accord without considering other peoples’ feelings. He’s very blunt, and won’t hesitate to speak his mind. He CANNOT hide his true feelings for shit (if his mouth doesn’t say it, his face surely will.) There are times when he’ll go days without answering his phone or making contact with anyone because he loves being in his own little world. Friendships, partners..it honestly doesn’t make a difference if you’re around or not. Especially when he’s locked in, working on important projects. He shuts down when he doesn’t want to deal with something and you’ll have better luck catching a pig flying than him apologizing or doing what he’s told! In the same vein, Eren can be very emotional..it’s almost like a dam breaking. When he finally cracks, it’s hard to control the flood with him. He gets really intense, whether he’s crying, laughing or angry. He’s very passionate when he cares about something and he’ll let it be known. Behind that rough exterior is a gentle, sweetheart of a man that just throws his all into whatever or whoever he loves.

relationship status: Eren is currently seeing the influencer and rising star of pole dancing, (Y/N) (L/N). The pair has been in a low key relationship for some months now, taking it slow and really getting to know one another. Although they started with a hot and steamy romance, sprouting from years of loneliness and celibacy from them both, they’ve really grown to care deeply for one another. He puts a lot of effort into making sure he contacts her regularly bc it is not easy to keep his attention and always gifts her the most expensive and thoughtful things. He never seen himself as the lovey dovey type, but anyone that knows EJ..will tell you that he’s fallen head over heels for miss (L/N)!

physical descriptors: EJ is 6’3, just barely 195 pounds with a slender but toned frame. He’s been working out quite a bit since his last project and tour so he’s a little more jacked than before. He has several tattoos including full sleeves with various pieces he’s been getting since he was 16 years old. A few of his most notorious being the serpent and chain going around his hand all the way to his shoulder, the pink rose with the name ‘Ma’Kiya’ tattooed in one of the petals on his back (🌚) and his mom’s name. He has dark green eyes, brownish black hair that he wears in a half up-half down style most of the time. Occasionally though, he’ll wear it down and grow out facial hair. He’s always wearing some sort of jewelry..his infamous ‘The Don’ chain, as well as his bottom silver grills. His fashion sense varies on his mood.

hobbies + interests: when he’s not in the booth, Eren is somewhere tinkering with cars! He particularly loves older model vehicles and will spend days working to fix them. He loves going to the racetrack, sitting in the skybox like a little kid and watching drag cars and motorcycles go down the strip. He also loves to paint and draw, even designing a majority of his tattoos. (fun fact: he gifted (Y/N) a portrait of one of his favorite photos of her on her birthday.) and of course, he’s a huge gamer. His fans look forward to seeing him on Twitch, being stressed out by whatever franchise he’s delving to at the moment. Especially when he’s with his friends or (Y/N).

@violetxxvenom @shamelesshoefairy @shawtuzi

[the-offside-rule]

Charles Leclerc (Scuderia Ferrari) - It's Always Been You

Requested: yes

Prompt: 4) "You deserve better."

Warnings: nope, but long iwl

As the paddock seemed normal in it's all too familiar business and loudness, Y/n found solace in between hospitality lounges, with the stacks of Red Bull Racing tyres as her only form of company. The scent of rubber and gasoline enveloped her as she sought refuge from the shattered pieces of her heart. Tears streaked down her cheeks, leaving a trail of black from her eyeliner. As the sister of Max Verstappen, Y/n was no stranger to the high-speed world of Formula 1. Her heart, however, had taken an unexpected detour when she fell for Carlos Sainz, the charming driver who had once occupied a special place in her life. She remembers when she first met him, back when her twin and him were teammates. There was always casual flirting but then when Y/n finished up school in 2016, the pair began going on dates since her visits to the paddock became more and more common, then becoming basically constant once they made it official. They were the it couple and it felt like no other couple could compare. How they looked at eachother, how they spoke of one another, it seemed too good good be true...until the faithful night after the Singapore Grand Prix win when Carlos decided to call it quits.

The music pulsed through the air as Carlos downed one shot after another, his laughter filling the space. Y/n, his girlfriend, tried to catch his attention, but he seemed oblivious, lost in the sea of people. "Carlos? I  wanna go dance." Y/n said. "Yeah, sure. Go ahead." Carlos replied, turning back to his group of instagram models who fanned over him, all desperate for the same thing; dick and clout. She rolled her eyes and walked away. "Fine, do whatever." As she walked away, the girls began giggling at her little outburst and Carlos didn't once stick up for Y/n. He was never like this before. He wasn't even like this at their romantic dinner the night before. But Y/n got on with it and did what she wanted to do; dance.

As she lost herself in the music, a man managed to gather the courage and make his way towards her. "Hey gorgeous." The stranger smiled, dancing along with Y/n. Since Carlos was surrounded by these stupid instagram models, the least Y/n could do was talk to a guy surely. "Hey." Their conversation continued until the topic of relationships came up, to which Y/n said that she had a boyfriend.

"I don't see him." The stranger grinned, leaning closer. "Well, you see that guy up there with the huge bottle of champagne?" The guy nodded. "That's my boyfriend. Carlos. He just won the Grand Prix a few hours ago." The stranger looked between the spaniard and Y/n. "He looks occupied." He said, referring to the hoard of girls surrounding him. "Honestly, who gives a fuck. The only reason he won it was because Red Bull had a fuck up." The man laughed at Y/n's drunken joke, but she couldn't help but feel bad for undermining her boyfriend's hard work.

As she swayed with her newfound dance partner, Carlos watched from afar, a twinge of jealousy gnawing at him. His strides became purposeful, marching towards the dancing couple. His vision blurry, he poked the stranger. He turned. "Hey, you're Y/n's boyfriend. How you doing man?" He asked, putting his hand out. Carlos slapped it away. "Yeah, whatever. Who are you?" Y/n arched a brow at the sudden rudeness of Carlos. "I've been talking to Y/n since you've been occupied." He joked. "Are you accusing me of cheating on my girlfriend?"

"Carlos, what the fuck?" Y/n asked. "I didn't mean to-"

"No, no, I know what you want and you're not going to get it." Carlos began shoving the guy. "Because when I go back to my hotel room, I'm going to have her on her knees and screaming my name, while you sit by yourself with your left hand doing all the work-"

Carlos was silenced by a hard thump to the face, that ended with both his lip and nose bleeding. Carlos stumbled back, holding his nose. "Carlos!" Y/n rushed to his side, concern etched across her face. "Carlos, we need to leave. This is getting out of hand." He pushed her away, his drunken gaze defiant. "I don't need you. I can handle myself." Ignoring her, he swung at the guy, completely missing him and falling to the floor. "Carlos, we're going." Y/n repeated, this time more stern. Carlos scoffed and despite the chaos, Y/n managed to guide Carlos outside and hailed a cab. The ride home was tense, filled with silence interrupted only by the distant sounds of the city nightlife.

As Y/n scanned their key card, Carlos lay against the wall beside the door, looking at Y/n with pure hatred in his eyes. "You're such a bitch sometimes." He muttered. Y/n turned to him. "Excuse me?" The door beeped and Carlos practically burst it down. "You heard me. You're You're a bitch sometimes." Y/n closed the door behind her and followed Carlos to the bed where he kicked off his shoes. "How am I a bitch? People were filming you and I don't think you want to answer to your PR people tomorrow morning." Y/n rolled her eyes and sat down on the sofa, taking her heels off promptly. "Okay? You're still a bitch. I could have taken him."  Y/n's frustration bubbled over as she demanded an explanation. "Carlos, what's going on? Why are you acting like this?"

Carlos glared at her, venom in his words. "I'm tired of this, Y/n. I don't want you in my life anymore." Stunned, Y/n pleaded. "Carlos, what are you tired of? We don't argue ever. Please, let's talk about it in the morning. You're drunk, and we can figure things out then." But Carlos was resolute. "No, I want you gone now. Pack your things and leave." Her eyes flickered as a few tears had fallen.

"You're so shit at this mate!" Max cackled, taking another sip of his beer whilst Pierre missed yet another goal on FIFA. The hotel room was filled with laughter as a few drivers had finished their clubbinv prematurely to instead play a few games of FIFA. The camaraderie and banter echoed through the room, creating a light atmosphere that temporarily eased the pressures of the racing world. Amid the gaming frenzy, a sudden knock on the door disrupted the jovial mood. "I'll get it." Charles said, walking towards the door. He expected some food from room service since they paid for it, but instead he was surprised to find Y/n Verstappen standing there, tears streaming down her face. "Hi, Charles." She sniffled.

"Y/n. Are you okay? What happened?" Charles asked, genuine concern etched on his face. Y/n, struggling to compose herself, managed to choke out. "Is Max here?"

Charles nodded, realizing something serious must have transpired. He stepped aside, allowing Y/n to enter the room. "Max? It's Y/n." The laughter hushed as the other drivers sensed the shift in the atmosphere. Max stood up. "Y/n? What's wrong?" A few words had been spoken in Dutch and it seemed that each word Y/n said, made Max angrier. The other drivers simply watched on, wanting to see what happened. "Where is he?" Max demanded in a demanding tone. "Max, please don't. That's the last thing I need tonight." Y/n pleaded. "No, I'm getting dad and we are sorting this." Max replied. "Max, no! He'll kill him!"

"And I will bury him. Don't worry about it." The drivers shared glances amongst one another as the siblings had run out of the room, closing the door behind them. "Are we going to see what happens or what?" Charles asks. "Seems like family stuff. I am leaving them to it." Pierre replied. "Seems logical." Lando added. Charles groaned as he left the room, following the sounds of loud shouting in both Dutch and English.

He looked down to see two figures banging on Carlos' door. "You don't treat my sister like this!" Max shouted as Y/n pulled from his arm, trying to deter him. "Max! Stop!" Charles shouted, trying to mediate, urging everyone to calm down. "If someone did this to your sister, you'd you'd the same!" Max shouted back at Charles. "Max! Not here! There are people trying to sleep." Charles said, reasoning with the dutchman. The commotion drew the attention of hotel staff and even a few curious guests. "Get out here, you fucking pussy!" Max had begun kicking the door now, not caring if it broke and deciding he'd worry about it if the door did break. The chaos continued until Max's father, joined the fray. The yelling and banging intensified, creating a scene that could be heard throughout the hotel.

Eventually, the rage subsided, as everyone agreed that Carlos must have passed out drunk and that it was a conversation best having in the morning. Max and Jos walked away as Charles stood by Y/n, tear-stained and emotionally drained. "Do you have a place to stay?" Charles asked. "I'm sure your brother wouldn't mind letting you stay." Y/n shook her head. "No. They're playing FIFA I don't want to have to kick them all out." Y/n replied. "Then I'll let you have my bed and Ill sleep on the floor." Charles offered. She smiled. "As nice as you're being right now, I don't need your pity. Im just going to fall asleep in my room and deal with this in the morning." She said. "Y/n, you can't possibly do that. I wouldn't wouldn't sleep in the same bed as him. You deserve better." Before Charles could even trg to convince her, she opened the door, re-entered her and Carlos' hotel room and closed it again without another word.

She had moved on from Carlos. In all honesty, she hadn't heard a lot from him. That was until she had come to her first Grand Prix single in 8 years. It felt weird not having someone to hold hands with, but she got on with it, showing her poker face and pretending not to care about her recent breakup. As she walked, she noticed an all too familiar spaniard, holding a gorgeous woman in his arms. It was a model, a model Y/n had seen on the catwalk of the Ferrari fashion event. That's where they must have met...back when Carlos was still in a relationship with Y/n. And that's how she found herself hiding like a kid scared of the dark, in between the Red Bull and Ferrari hospitality where no one could find her.

"Are you okay?" Y/n jumped as she wiped her eyes. "I- yeah. I'm fine. Who are-" She paused as she looked up to see Charles walking towards her. "What are you doing here?" Charles asked. "Inspecting the tyres, you?" Y/n replied quickly, drying her eyes. "Talking with the tyre inspector." Charles replied, sitting down next to her. Y/n looked up, her eyes swollen but grateful for the company. "Why are you crying?" Charles asked. "It's just-" Yhe tears had started again. "Carlos' new girlfriend is so much prettier, and she's so much skinnier and her hair is different, her eyes are different, we are just nothing alike and Carlos is just so happy with her." Y/n sobbed. Charles wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him as her tears stained his red shirt. "He's moved on and I'm sat, befriending stacks of tyres."

"Well that's not true. I'm not a stack of tyres, am I?" Y/n chuckled at the light hearted joke Charles had made. "No, no you're not." She replied. "You seem to be much nicer to talk to than a set of tyres, to be fair." Unbeknownst to her, Charles had been silently witnessing the intricate dance of emotions unfolding in the paddock. His infatuation with Y/n had started years ago, at one of Max's early kart races.

"Charles, you cut me off there! You could've caused a crash," Max argued, frustration evident in his voice. Charles, eager to impress Y/n, tried to maintain composure. "Max, I had the racing line! You should've anticipated my move." He chuckled, looking over to Y/n subtly to see her reaction. "Anticipated? You came out of nowhere!" Max shot back. As Charles vehemently defended his position, Y/n couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. She expected a spirited rivalry, but Charles's insistence on being right grated on her nerves.

"Charles, back down. You know I'm right." Max urged, trying to defuse the tension. Yet, Charles, fueled by both competitiveness and a desire to impress, doubled down. "Max, I won't back down when I'm right." The harder Charles pushed, the more Y/n saw a side of him she didn't like. She began to see why Max always yelled about how much of a diclhead Charles was and she fully agreed now. "Charles, seriously, I will be to the stewards about it." Max insisted, the frustration evident in his tone. But Charles, in his pursuit of proving himself, didn't heed the advice. As the argument escalated, Y/n couldn't help but feel a growing distaste for Charles.

"You know what, Charles? Forget it. We're done talking," Max declared, grabbing his helmet and walking away with Y/n behind him. "Hij is een klootzak." Y/n muttered. "Ah, dus nu zie je die kant van hem?"

"Why are you even here? Don't you hate me?" Y/n asked, too tired to move her head from his shoulder. Charles sighed. "I never hated you, Y/n. You started hating me so I pretended to hate you back." Her brow furrowed in confusion. "But you always seemed so distant, so cold." Charles cast his gaze downward, confessing, "I didn't want Max to think I was interfering. I liked you from when I was in karting, but you started dating Carlos and I just gave up."

"I wish I had known, Charles," Y/n admitted, wiping away tears. "I could've used a friend." Charles offered a reassuring smile. "Well, you have one now. And if you'll let me, maybe more than just a friend." She sighed. "As much as I would love to, I just don't think I'm ready to have a boyfriend, let alone date my ex's teammate." Y/n replied. "That's fine. He's out of a Ferrari seat for next year anyway." Y/n smiled. "Listen, I don't care how long it takes. I've waited like what, 15 years already? I may as well hold on for another while."

[cherryspeaches]

sex, money, feelings, die - Chapter 2

Summary: Having lost everything, you joined the games with no hope or expectation of winning. Despite it all, you found something interesting in #001. Maybe you'd stick around a little longer. Chapter wc: 1.1k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ He’s awfully obsessed with 456. Since he first caught your eye the previous night, it’s like you couldn’t look away from him. Your eyes sought him out in the crowd from the moment you woke up. Your inability to look away from him is starting to piss you off. The more you look at him though, the more you notice just how much he looks at 456. Gi-hun. You heard his friend yell out his name a few times, consoling himself that he’ll be fine since he has the self-proclaimed winner of the previous games with him. Yeah good luck buddy, shit all that’s going to do to be honest. The only advantage he would have is knowing that people die in here. You had no clue who was responsible for organising this death spectacle but they would have to be insanely stupid if they kept the exact same format and games year on year. Actually, why did they let a past player come back? He couldn’t have run out of money already…What was his reasoning again? Lost in your thoughts, you feel your forehead bump into someone as you all enter the room location for the second game. “Sorry…” you mumble. 

“Ah, it’s okay…” you heard a voice reply. You finally look up to see 120, and Oh. “Pretty” the words escaped your mouth before you had a moment to think. “I’m sorry?” You could see visible shock take over her expression. Curious eyes look back at you, with a bit of apprehension, as though she almost didn’t believe you. “You’re pretty.” you smile back at her. You were being genuine too. She really was just your type, tall and visually stunning. Pity that you were both in here, destined to die. “Oh… Thank you.” she looked away, light pink dusting her cheeks. “I think so too!” you hear from behind you, player 095 chiming in from behind 120. Cute. They would look cute together. You could see 120’s body language change slightly in the presence of 095, showing that she felt more comfortable with her around. An awkward lull settles over the three of you, and with that, you use that to excuse yourself with a final smile at 095 and 120, and they awkwardly smile back. You knew that you made people uncomfortable sometimes. You could never quite say the right thing, or read the room right. You wondered why honesty was publicly held in the highest regard and yet privately it was the swiftest way to isolation. People don’t like to hear the truth as much as they say they like to. Part of your mannerisms also stemmed from you simply not caring enough to put on a mask for people. You were fighting your own battles daily, you were tired and lying to people took a lot of energy. Caring what they think takes a lot of energy too. Things became a lot easier when you stopped caring, or at least when you pretended to stop caring. Guess you still lied to yourself despite it all. The speaker croaked and came to life, spelling out the instructions for the next round. Ah… you had to get into groups. I guess this is where I die… Resigned to your fate, you moved quietly amongst the chaos to rest against a wall. Leaning back, you reached a hand into your pocket, itching to put on your music and to zone out. This is the end anyways right? Might as well go out in a moment of calmness. The risk was too high though, if someone saw then that might be the end of your music privileges. Tilting your head back, you closed your eyes and tried to find the silence amongst all the noise. It’s an old meditation trick your grandfather taught you, a near impossible task but the moment you do find it… you truly did feel something. You heard the chatter amongst the crowd, you felt the frantic energy swirl around you, you tasted the desperation in the air. You followed their trails to find the moment they stopped intertwining.. Oh what’s this? You opened your eyes to meet deep pools of brown, almost black depths. 001 was standing in front of you. Despite everything happening around you, the world turned silent as you gazed into his eyes. They were beautiful, and so deeply sad. You could emotions battling under a tranquil surface of resolve. He seemed to be struggling with something, something that he felt he had to do. What a beautifully complicated man. “Are you just going to keep staring at me? Am I that handsome?” his eyes crinkled into a smile. Not a real smile. You didn’t like how it looked on him. “Yes.” “Yes I’m that handsome?” His tone coloured in surprise at your answer, holding a teasing note. “Yes I will keep staring at you but not because you’re undeniably handsome.” He paused for a moment before replying. “Then why?” “You’re like me.” You responded with a smile. “In what way?” He looked at you curiously. “You wanted to die once too, maybe you still do.” 

Humour left his face. Now this, this is the real him. You see his mask fall off, and you’re given a glimpse into his psyche for just a moment. A darkness filled his features, and he looked at you with such intensity… you suddenly wish you could read his mind at this moment.  

“What did you say?” He asked, almost with desperation. “Somewhere, sometime in your life, you gave up. I have too. We’re just waiting for the inevitable, I can see it, no matter how hard you hide it. Your eyes betray you, y’know?” You responded, never breaking eye contact with him, never blinking. His eyes never leave yours. You know what you said would be shocking for anyone to hear, it looks as though he’s been waiting to hear those words though. When he approached you, all you saw was boredom, and slight disdain. The usual look of someone who wanted to use you as a pawn for their agenda, they didn’t particularly want anything to do with you but you served a purpose. Now he looked at you very differently - hatred for daring to call him out, curiosity for how you knew how he felt, pain… so much pain. Through it all, you could see resignation intertwined amongst all the emotions. You decided that maybe you did a little more damage than intended, time to move this forward then. You use a leg to kick yourself off the wall, and weave your body past his to walk back into the crowd and accept your fate. He made no effort to follow you. You pause for a moment. “Coming, 001?” “What?” “You came over here to recruit me right? Otherwise why bother wasting time trying to talk to me. Let’s go, we have a game to win.” Death is familiar to you, and it’s why you could no longer feel her embrace. Not since 001 spoke to you. 

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taglist <3 : @tizilovetomhiddleston, @scuzmunkie

[not-existent]

The Academy Maniacs

Artyom Alexandrovich Anoufriev 一 RUSSIAN: Артём Александрович Ануфриев

Born: October 4, 1992, in Irkutsk, Russia Mother: Nina Ivanovna Anoufrieva

Artyom’s early life was characterized by a series of challenges that shaped his personality and future actions. Raised by his mother, Nina, who reportedly struggled with her own issues, Artyom often found himself in a tumultuous home environment. Despite being perceived as an outcast among his peers, he was described positively by some who knew him. A family friend noted, “Artyom is a good-natured boy, polite; I’ve never heard a bad word from him.”

However, his mother’s influence was complex. His headmaster reported that she instilled a sense of animosity in Artyom, particularly towards authority figures, and sought to manipulate his academic results. This pressure did not deter Artyom; he maintained good grades, especially in English and literature, subjects that resonated with him. He also developed a passion for music, taking lessons in guitar and double bass. During his youth, he participated in a local music group, where he thrived creatively until the group disbanded.

As he transitioned into adolescence, Artyom experienced significant changes. He began to mature and became more outgoing, yet this newfound confidence came at a cost; his academic performance began to decline. He graduated high school with sufficient marks, but his senior year was marked by introspection. In a farewell video made by his classmates, Artyom shared his thoughts on happiness, stating, “To be honest, I do not know what happiness is. But I would really like to quickly find out what it is.” This reflection hinted at the internal struggles he faced.

After high school, Artyom enrolled at Irkutsk State Medical University while concurrently working at an art museum. This period was pivotal for him, as he sought to carve out a future despite the shadows of his past. Unfortunately, reports emerged three months before his arrest indicating troubling behavior. Neighbors reported hearing shouting and loud banging from his apartment, suggesting escalating emotional turmoil. During the investigation, Artyom admitted to a strained relationship with his mother, expressing fears that he might harm her. His lawyer noted that he often spoke negatively about her, labeling her as “defective” and displaying a generally negative attitude towards women.

Nikita Vakhtangovich Lytkin 一 RUSSIAN: Артём Александрович Ануфриев

Born: March 24, 1993, in Irkutsk, Russia Mother: Marina (worked at a shoe store) Father: Absent early in life, with a troubled family history

Nikita’s childhood was equally tumultuous. His father left shortly after his birth and later remarried; however, this new family structure was also fraught with tragedy, as his stepmother died shortly after childbirth, leaving a profound impact on Nikita. His father’s sporadic presence contributed to a sense of instability, and Nikita often found himself facing bullying at school. Rather than confronting his bullies, he would respond with a resigned “die,” a reflection of his internal struggles and feelings of helplessness. This led to him being nicknamed “Jimbo,” a reference to a character from The Simpsons known for being a bully.

Despite these challenges, Nikita excelled academically, especially in junior high, but struggled socially. He was assigned to a special math class due to poor performance in that subject, further isolating him from his peers. A family friend suggested that Nikita's unsociability stemmed from envy towards classmates from wealthier families, further eroding his social connections. As his social skills diminished, he began losing touch with friends, deepening his sense of loneliness.

The paths of Artyom and Nikita converged at a mutual friend's birthday party, where they quickly formed a close bond. Although they attended the same school, Artyom was a grade ahead. Their friendship became a sanctuary for both; Nikita fell into a deep depression and found solace in Artyom's companionship. However, Artyom's mother disapproved of their friendship, fearing that Nikita would negatively influence her son.

After graduating, Artyom continued his education, enrolling in medical school, while Nikita's academic journey took a different turn; he reportedly dropped out or was expelled due to insufficient grades. During their friendship, they formed a punk-rock band named “Злые гномы” (Evil Gnomes). Though the band was short-lived, they managed to release an album titled “Чёрные полосы крови” (Black Streaks of Blood) in 2008. Following this, they created a noise band called “Расчленённая ПугачОва” (Dissected PugachOva), showcasing their musical collaboration.

Shared Interests and Dark Fascinations

Together, Artyom and Nikita developed a shared fascination with violence and criminality. They were particularly drawn to stories of notorious criminals, including the infamous “Blood Money Gang” from Irkutsk, led by Konstantin Shumkov. The gang, comprised of teenagers from dysfunctional families, was responsible for a series of brutal attacks on homeless individuals. Artyom and Nikita followed their exploits closely, even dedicating an album to the gang, with songs featuring disturbing titles such as “Killing is Cool!” and “Massacre at a Maternity Hospital.”

Nikita reportedly created a social media group expressing admiration for Shumkov, declaring their intent to continue his legacy. They espoused a chilling ideology, stating, “There is no place for posers in our group. Only those who decide the fate of cattle or are only going to start serious actions are allowed.” Their delusions of grandeur led them to believe they could emulate the violence they admired.

Possible Motives and Ideological Influences

The motivations behind Artyom and Nikita’s violent tendencies remain complex. One theory suggests that they were influenced by nationalist propaganda. At one point, Artyom was affiliated with a white power skinhead group, earning the nickname “Fashik-Natsik.” His influence led Nikita to engage with extremist groups online, although he was ultimately rejected due to his Ossetian heritage. Investigators noted that both boys exhibited a profound hatred for humanity, devoid of specific targets or ideologies.

Their desire to imitate infamous serial killers played a significant role in their actions. Artyom claimed that the idea of murder originated with Nikita, who instigated the violence. However, he expressed that the act of killing did not provide the satisfaction he hoped for. Despite this, he planned to continue his criminal activities had he not been apprehended.

Timeline of Crimes

November 14, 2010 - Anoufriev and Lytkin attacked 18-year-old Anastasia Markovskaya while she was walking home from the 19th school bus stop in Novo-Irkutsky Village. Reports vary regarding the incident; some indicate that the attackers were frightened off, while others suggest that Markovskaya pretended to be unconscious. Following the attack, Markovskaya posted about her experience on the Akademgorodok online forum, where Anoufriev and Lytkin responded by questioning her feelings about being assaulted.

November 24, 2010 - The duo targeted a 46-year-old woman, whose identity remains confidential, stealing her bag.

December 1, 2010 - Anoufriev and Lytkin attacked another woman, stealing 500 rubles, which they later used to purchase mallets. Later that day, they encountered 12-year-old Danil Semyonov while he was sledding. Nikita proposed killing Semyonov, perceiving him as a weak and defenseless target. After subduing him, they inflicted fatal injuries: Nikita struck him in the back of the head, followed by Artyom hitting him with a baseball bat, and Nikita ultimately stabbed him with a penknife. Despite attempts to summon help, Semyonov succumbed to his injuries before paramedics could arrive. A hematoma on his arm indicated that he may have struggled against his attackers. Initially, both his parents and the police dismissed the incident as an accident, theorizing that he crashed into a birch tree. However, Anoufriev and Lytkin later stated that Semyonov was merely "training" for them, marking him as their first homicide victim.

December 16, 2010 - Approximately 20 meters from Semyonov's location, 69-year-old Olga Mikhailovna was found murdered. A researcher at the Research Institute for Solar and Terrestrial Physics, she was killed swiftly, suffering 30 knife wounds. The attackers recorded audio of their plan to murder her and subsequently filmed the act.

December 29, 2010 - The pair first attacked 29-year-old Valentinovna Svetlova at 6 AM, who managed to escape. They took her purse but discarded it afterward. An hour later, they attacked 22-year-old coach Yekaterina Karpova, who was pregnant at the time, while she was walking with her 6-year-old niece, Olga Averina. Although Karpova noticed the attackers, she did not engage with them. As they crossed a railroad, Karpova and Averina were assaulted. Averina narrowly escaped but sustained injuries, while Karpova suffered severe trauma, including a crushed skull, despite her attempts to alert the attackers that she was pregnant. A passing car ultimately scared the assailants away, allowing Karpova and her unborn child to survive.

January 1, 2011 - At approximately 5 AM, Anoufriev and Lytkin attacked a homeless man near some garbage cans, inflicting 40 blows and ultimately killing him. He has since been identified as "Corpse No. 20" due to the authorities' inability to determine his identity.

January 15, 2011 - A 19-year-old homeless man, Vladimir Bazilevsky, was wrongfully detained on suspicion of the murder. During interrogation, he was coerced into confessing to a crime he did not commit. After further investigation, it was revealed that DNA evidence did not match any of the victims. After serving more than a year in prison, all charges against him were dropped in May 2012.

January 30, 2011 - The attackers targeted a student named Oleg Semyonov, who was returning home from a nightclub. He survived, but sustained head wounds, a concussion, and a traumatic brain injury.

February 3, 2011 - An elderly woman was attacked but survived with a head injury.

February 8-9, 2011 - The pair assaulted another woman at night, but she survived due to a passing vehicle.

February 21, 2011 - Alexander Petrovich Maximov was attacked while walking home after visiting his sister. He suffered severe injuries, including a broken jaw and decapitation. Lytkin shot him in the head with a Baikal air pistol while Anoufriev attempted to remove his eyes, ultimately failing.

February 27, 2011 - Lytkin attacked Nina Kuzmina while she was sitting on a bench on Lermontov Street. He struck her twice in the head, but she survived after a nearby resident intervened.

March 11, 2011 - Near the State University bus stop, Anoufriev and Lytkin killed a homeless man named Roman Faizullin. Anoufriev shot him in the face, and they subsequently stabbed him multiple times. Anoufriev later photographed the body from his apartment.

Unknown Dates in 2011 - The pair attacked a homeless woman who survived due to an off-duty police officer intervening. On another occasion, they used a screwdriver in an assault but fled due to the crowded location, allowing the victim to survive.

April 3, 2011 - The duo committed their final crime, killing 63-year-old homeless woman Alevtina Kuydina near a research institute. They filmed the attack, during which Lytkin cut off her earlobe and attempted to inflict further injuries. The video was later shared with an online associate, who distributed it despite its graphic content.

Investigation and Arrests

The investigation into the series of assaults took several months, as law enforcement struggled to connect the dots between seemingly unrelated victims. However, as the attacks continued, investigators began to identify patterns. The police sketches of the suspects circulated widely, eventually reaching the family of Nikita Lytkin, who recognized the resemblance. His uncle discovered incriminating videos on a camera belonging to Nikita, leading to their arrests.

Trial and Sentencing

The trials began in early 2013, revealing the extent of their violent actions and the psychological factors at play. Artyom was sentenced to life imprisonment, while Nikita received a 24-year sentence, later reduced to 20 years due to his age at the time of the crimes. Throughout the trial, both defendants presented contrasting narratives, with Nikita attempting to downplay his involvement.

Current Status

Artyom: After his sentencing, he was transferred to various correctional facilities, where he expressed intentions to appeal and pursue education. Reports indicated that he began studying law while in prison.

Nikita: His journey through the correctional system was marked by transfers and mental health evaluations. Tragically, on the morning of November 28th, 2021, Lytkin was found in his cell with severe self inflicted wounds on his arms. Paramedics rushed him to Angarsk City Hospital, where on November 30th he was pronounced dead. Lytkins inmates stated that he had been subjected to bullying and others state he had threatened to do it when his sentence wasn’t reduced furthermore and when he wasn’t transferred to the same facility as Anoufriev.

[bestiesenpai]

sukuna bridgerton au pt2

Writing this immediately after posting the first one because this brings me so much joy. The dress I had in mind for the wedding was the one worn by Princess Charlotte in 1816 so if you’d like a visual please refer to that

part one — part three -- part four

Link to the ring i mention here

You managed to push the appointment with the modiste to a further date, reminding your mother that Sukuna hadn’t even proposed yet.

“Oh but he will!” She countered, giddy as could be. “At the coming ball he will.”

“Did he tell you himself?” Crossing your arms in resignation, it felt like you were the mother and she the child with you trying to quell her excitement over something that hasn’t yet happened.

“He did! Asked your father for permission to propose the day after your first meeting!” That made your jaw drop and any further words you had to say were quelled, the fire inside you dampened for a moment.

On the night of this fateful ball, it was forced upon you to wear Sukuna’s family color, Prussian blue. To have gloves or a purse of the color would have been fine with you but a whole dress was too obvious and put you at risk of embarrassment should he decide not to propose after all. But with your parents too blindsided by this burgeoning royal connection there was no hope of talking them out of it.

“(Y/N)!” Walking into the party, you immediately sought out your friends. A few of them had actually been proposed to already and you marveled at their rings decorated with beauties such as emeralds and rubies.

“You’ll get yours soon enough!” They teased, making butterflies erupt inside you despite your best efforts. A fit of giggles took over you as you thought about what the ring might look like.

“We shall see, girls!” Wiggling your bodies, you made your way to the refreshments table, eager to fill your stomachs before descending upon the dance floor. A few men filled your dance card as you ate and you danced with them gleefully. This felt like your last night of freedom before Sukuna caught you within his grasp.

The party was just about in full swing when the Queen and Sukuna made their entrance, causing everyone to pause for a moment to greet them properly. You were just in the throws of a spirited dance with an older male acquaintance when it all stopped. Out of breath and with a ditzy smile on your face, you curtseyed just as every other woman did, barely paying any attention to Sukuna’s long look in your direction. Once the music started up again, instead of coming to him like he assumed you would, you returned to dancing.

“Jealous?” The Queen quipped with a teasing smirk on her face.

“No. Never.” Quickly fixing his gaze to what was ahead of him, Sukuna shook his head. “Come, let's find our seats.” He ignored the chuckle behind him as he led the way and he staunchly ignored the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach - that was something he would rather die over than confront.

After finally finishing every dance with the men on your card, you were able to slink away and find respite. You were admittedly a little tipsy from the Italian ratafia, the cherries in it slightly addicting and adding to the flavor of the pastries you were becoming so fond of.

“Miss (Y/N), His Highness wishes to see you.” A footman interrupted your period of indulgence and motioned to the perch at the head of the room where Sukuna was standing and waiting.

“Please inform His Highness that I am preoccupied at the moment and shall see him when I’m ready.” Giving the footman a curt smile, you snagged another pastry and drink and walked off into another area of the party where some games were being played.

“What is my wife thinking, denying me an audience?” Not even five minutes later Sukuna had appeared behind you and you could feel his annoyance.

“Wife? Who is that?” Looking down at your empty ring finger, you chuckled to yourself. “It seems I am unfamiliar with her, Your Highness.” You laughed again, this time made louder at someone's display in charades. Sukuna laughed as well so as not to arouse suspicion of any ill will.

“Miss (Y/N), I wish for you to accompany me to the main hall.” He said, coming to properly stand next to you.

“I decline that offer, Your Highness.” You didn’t even turn to look at him, instead keeping your eyes on the game and shouting when another person guessed the right answer.

“I- you cannot be serious.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sukuna sighed shortly. “Please, you know what has to happen right now.”

“It can wait until this game is over.” You pushed back, finally sparing him a glance. “After all, a gentleman listens to a lady when she says no, does he not?” Your question stopped all further argument from Sukuna and he relented, allowing you to finish your refreshments and watch the game.

“There, it is over now.” Huffing, Sukuna let his hand hover near the crook of your elbow. “Now will you please follow me?”

“That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Giving him a big cheeky grin you walked off ahead and once in the main hall, you stood where he wanted you to, just a few feet in front of the Queen. Clearing his throat, Sukuna motioned for the orchestra to stop playing as he drew everyone's attention to the two of you.

“Thank you for your attention everyone.” He started off, giving the room a once over. “I will not keep you long as I know we are all eager to enjoy the night, but I ask that you bear witness to what I am about to do.”

Taking a deep breath, as if on cue a footman stepped forward and handed him a small velvet box. Sukunas eyes were staring straight at you as he bent down to one knee, making everyone in the room hold their breath.

“Miss (Y/N),” he started, making sure he was loud enough for the room to hear, “even though we have only known each other a short time, I feel the chemistry between us. I do not want to waste time and have you possibly stolen from me by another…” You could tell he was faking being nervous by the way he paused and looked around the room. Always one for a show, he is.

“Will you please marry me?” As the words left his lips you heard your mother gasp and out of the corner of your eye you could see her clutch your fathers sleeve. It felt like time stood still as you looked at Sukuna, then the Queen, then the crowd before you. The scale had tipped in your favor, the power was in your hands; you could say no.

“Yes.” The crowd erupted into applause, launching Sukuna to stand and grab your hand.

“I knew you’d say yes.” He teased, slipping the very large ring onto your finger. It was a gorgeous sapphire, the same Prussian blue as his house colors, with a twisted pavé of sparkling diamonds around it and going down the band. “That's a 7 carat sapphire.” Sukuna boasted, turning your hand so it shined in the light.

“Beautiful indeed.” Seeing the ring and feeling the weight on your finger made what was happening all real and coupled with Sukuna holding your hand so gingerly, it made your heart flutter.

Turning to the Queen, you both bowed to her, earning a nod of the head in return. Turning to the crowd, it was only moments before your friends and family crowded around to congratulate you and see the ring. So many were in awe of the size and their jealousy was hardly contained, some looking down to their own rings in disappointment.

It took a while for the party to return to normal but you eventually found yourself being surrounded by your friends again at a table in the other room, sipping on far too many cocktails in the name of celebration.

“To (Y/N)!” They all cried, equally if not more intoxicated than you were. “May Her Highness not forget about us when she resides in the palace!”

“Please!” You laughed at the new title. “As if I could ever forget my dearest friends!” At that, you raised your glasses and polished them off, trying and failing to gently place them on the table.

You all stayed until the end of the party, stumbling out of your seats and finding your respective chaperones once it was time to leave. Unable to find your mother or father, you wandered around the garden and admired the topiary.

“Aren’t you cold out here?” A familiar voice sounded and you didn’t need to turn to see who it was.

“Not at all, Your Highness. I rather enjoy the evening breeze.” In truth you were but the alcohol was dulling your senses.

“Do not call me that anymore, we’re engaged. Call me by my given name.”

“I will do no such thing.” Turning to him, you shook your head a little too hard. “That should be reserved for people in love and we are not in love.” He groaned in annoyance and followed behind you as you walked in the garden. Sukuna felt the urge to demand you call him by his name, force you to bend to his will but he couldn’t find it in him. So instead he walked quietly and said nothing.

“I do like the ring.” You broke the silence, turning to face him once you decided you’d seen enough.

“You do? It's a family heirloom. Belonged to a grandpa's cousin's aunt or something like that.”

“Hm.” You didn’t laugh at his attempt at a joke even if it did amuse you slightly. Swaying on your feet, you held your hand up at eye level, the gold of the ring contrasting with the black velvet gloves you were wearing.

“It’s quite late and everyone is leaving. We should do the same.” The two of you were close enough to the house that no one would be scandalized by your being unchaperoned but Sukuna knew that if you were in your right mind you would be worried.

“Find my mother then.” Your eyes were still fixed on the ring. Sukuna scoffed at you and brought his hand to yours, attempting to grab onto it. “Do not!” You drew back, clutching your hand to your chest.

“Miss, please.” Sukuna was trying to be a gentleman and ensure your safety though truth be told he wasn’t sure why it mattered so much to him. He could have easily just walked off and gotten a footman to keep watch on you as he gathered your parents.

“I thought you wanted to use given names.” Tilting your head to the side, you looked at him curiously.

“I- be quiet.” A light flush rested over his cheeks and that irritated Sukuna. “Just come inside with me at the very least.” He was feeling the cold and he knew it was worse for you in your dress especially since your shawl had been discarded somewhere.

You stared back at him wordlessly as if seeing him for the first time. Squinting your eyes, you took in his attire, his Prussian blue tailcoat with metallic gold thread embroidered throughout and his crisp white waistcoat peeking out from underneath. The cravat he had on was tied intricately like when you had first met him and the ribbon to his pocket watch was also blue, dangling with an ornate cross and the seal of the kingdom. Gone were the boots he had worn previously, opting instead to adopt the shoes other men wore. His hair had been styled, trimmed and slicked back to showcase more of his face.

“Handsome.” You mumbled, taking a step toward Sukuna.

“What?” Your response surprised him but he didn’t move as you came forward and lifted a hand to graze his cheek.

“This is the first time I’m truly looking at you, Your Highness.”

“H-had you not seen me before?” He cursed himself for the stutter in his words but when the back of your hand brushed his cheek it made his tongue heavy. This softness from you was unexpected and he didn’t know how to handle it.

“I suppose not, hm?” It was like you were entranced by him, mesmerized by his beauty. Sukuna couldn’t tell if you were even really looking at him since your eyes had a faraway look to them. Raising his hand, he cupped yours as it dropped to run along his jaw and he could smell the faint perfume you had sprayed on your gloves. Something delicate and subtle, floral perhaps, just like a lady to use.

“Shall we…” Sukuna was going to ask to take you inside once more but you surprised him again by taking another step forward and resting your hand at the base of his throat. Your thumb ran along his Adam's apple, causing him to swallow quite loudly.

“Yes, let's.” You answered his unspoken question, dropping your hand from him entirely and sidestepping him to go inside. Sukuna remained glued to his spot however, his heart beating so hard he worried he was going to die.

“What is going on with me?” He wondered aloud, flexing his hands in front of him and begging his body to settle. Sure he had women flirt with him before but nothing as tender as this and he was positive you had no idea you were even flirting in the first place. You just…saw him, just observed how he looked and made no effort to do anything about it, hardly even complimented him excessively like he was used to.

By the time Sukuna made it back inside you had left with your parents and he was alone, the Queen having left already as well. Riding back to the palace by himself, Sukuna retraced where your hand had been on his face and sighed, recounting the velvet of your glove and the faintness of your perfume. It unsettled him that as he lay down to sleep he still thought of you and even in his dreams you appeared.

The next few weeks were a blur of wedding preparations. The Queen decided you’d be married at the end of the month, putting a time crunch on everything. You now went to a royal tailor instead of your usual modiste, there were what felt like a dozen ladies maids helping making decisions for you and you hardly had time to sleep.

So much happened in that month that you hardly even saw Sukuna at all. The only times you were together were to tour one of the Queens villas where the wedding was to be hosted and when there was a portrait painted of the two of you together to commemorate the wedding and to serve as a gift from the Queen. And both times you were chaperoned and you were too tired to truly make conversation.

The morning of your wedding came much too fast and you were up at dawn being bathed, fed a light meal and taken to the villa to be dressed in the most expensive outfit you would most likely ever wear. There were more layers being put on than you were used to and your corset was tied just a bit tighter.

“(Y/N).” Your parents stood at the doorway as your wedding dress was settled onto you. Looking at them through a mirror, you could only smile at the way they were getting teary; you’d been instructed not to move by the head maid and she was very serious in her request. You were spritzed with perfume and white gloves were slid onto your hands at the same time you were donned with jewelry. The weight of such pieces, on loan from the royal family for such an occasion, made you nervous beyond compare.

“Final touch, Miss.” Looking back at yourself, you watched as a tiara was taken from a velvet box and put atop your head, secured by pins before a beautiful lacy veil was put on top to complete the look.

“Oh, my daughter.” Your mother couldn’t contain herself and turned away, dabbing at her lashline with her handkerchief. Collecting herself quickly, she stepped into the room and let her hand ghost over the veil. “You are…magnificent.” She whispered, finally grasping your hand tightly.

“Thank you.” You couldn’t look away from yourself, everything was done so precisely. Your dress had more jewels and pearls than you’d seen in your life and you were afraid to touch it or even breathe too much in it; it felt as if you were a living work of art, one that must not be disturbed in any manner for any thing.

“Here Miss, to calm your nerves.” The head maid handed you a dainty glass cup filled with a dark liquid and the scent made your nose burn slightly.

“W-what is this?”

“Spiced brandy.”

“But I’m not nervous!”

“Oh trust me Miss, you will be.” She motioned for you to drink and you looked back down at the cup. It was small enough that you could drink it quickly and be done with it, so you steeled yourself and shot it back, almost retching before the maid slapped a hand over your mouth and got you to swallow it.

“O-oh my god.” You coughed, almost dropping the cup. “That was awful.”

“You’ll thank me later, promise.” She said, patting you on the back and then fixing your makeup. The alcohol worked quickly, making your body warm and a bit looser.

“They’re ready, ma’am.” Another maid announced from the doorway, signaling it was time to get going.

“Right this way.” Led out of the dressing room and down the hallway, the further you went the louder the chatter from all the guests became and the piano playing as background music was nearly drowned out by the buzz of excitement. Coming upon the grand hall, a maid rushed out of one of the doors and for a brief moment you saw just how many people - how many royal people - had attended.

“Thank you for that drink.” You swiftly turned to the head maid who nodded knowingly at you.

“Miss (Y/N) is ready.” She spoke to a footman instead who knocked on the large wooden doors in front of you three times, and through them you heard another gather the attention of the crowd.

As the doors opened, your mother and eldest brother went first and your hand gripped the arm your father had hooked into yours. Your whole life has led up to this moment, this exact time. This was what everyone wanted from you and you were providing as you should, but you couldn’t stop shaking.

“Father.” You turned to him before you stepped into the light from the doorway. “I-I’m nervous, what if I mess up?”

“My love.” He spoke kindly to you, softer than he ever had before. “You could fail a thousand times in a thousand ways and you would still be perfect.” Brushing over your veil, he took a deep breath himself. “Besides, you are not the only one that’s nervous.”

You chuckled breathlessly as he said that and then it was time to walk forward into the light of the venue, into what was fast becoming your new life. Swallowing thickly, you followed him as your father led you to stand in the doorway.

Walking down the aisle was something you’d spoken about, hell even practiced with your siblings and friends as a joke throughout the years, but doing the actual deed was much different. Your eyes roamed over all the guests standing at attention and drinking you in. There was no way to miss all their eyes on you and the way they followed as you walked down. No one said a word, no one dared even breathe too loud as you moved closer and closer to Sukuna.

Sukuna, who was dressed in the most formal attire you’d ever seen him in: a full dress royal military uniform complete with silky white gloves, an Order of the Garter sash, gold aiguillettes and a few medals you didn’t know the meaning of. His military hat was being held by a groomsman behind him and you dared to briefly look down and see his shoes were shined to perfection and he had a full dress sword with a golden tassel hanging from it.

The walk was over before you knew it and soon your father was unwinding his arm from yours to shake Sukunas hand. Giving you a brief kiss on the cheek, you heard him sniffle before he turned away and took his seat with your family.

Standing for a moment, Sukuna looked awestruck as he stared at you. His eyes were a tad wider than they usually were and for a second you thought you saw his eyes get glassy. Holding out his hand, Sukuna helped you up the three small steps onto the altar before letting go and standing at attention before the archbishop.

He wanted desperately to say something to you before the vows started, wanted to say how stunning you were and how happy he was to see you walk down the aisle. But none of that came to him; you had quite truly taken his breath away. So instead, he hyper-focused on the archbishop's words and made sure he said the right things at the right times.

After the last ‘I do’, Sukuna turned to you and lifted your veil almost too slowly, too carefully, as if he was afraid that with any wrong move you would shatter into thousands of pieces. Once he had lifted the veil and folded it away, he stared at you for what felt like ages before he forced air into his chest and leaned forward.

To your relief the kiss didn’t last too long, you weren’t sure how much longer you could take being stared at like this. Both of yours’ lips trembled upon touching and while he did put a little force behind it, Sukuna still made sure to be gentle.

“Shall we?” He whispered once he pulled away, offering his hand and motioning back down the aisle. You couldn’t find the words, so you just nodded your head and allowed him to lead you down. The sound of the guests cheering surprised you and you looked around at all who attended. There were royals from different countries that were here in their traditional dress, all of whom you’d only read about and never thought you’d ever see. All of your friends were there and half the ton, something that brought you great comfort. There was still a sense of familiarity in all of this.

Once the two of you had left the room, it was a mad dash with the servants to fix your makeup and get the two of you into the next room to start receiving guests. Going to the reception hall, you smiled at the inclusion of your favorite flowers and colors along with Sukunas Prussian blue.

Sitting down on an ornate chaise lounge, you thanked the servants that fluffed out your dress and settled your veil over the rest of the seat, letting the full length of it be on display. You weren’t sitting side by side with Sukuna, moreover he sat straight on whereas you were at a slight angle facing him with your dress brushing his knee every so often.

“You look…” He finally spoke, fixing his hat and gloves nervously.

“Yes?” You urged, trying to meet his eyes. It was unlike him to be coy like this.

“Absolutely breathtaking.” The words were a whisper on his lips and he glanced at you as he said them, eager to look back down at his gloved fingers.

“You’re serious?”

“Of course I am. You’re my wife.” Clearing his throat, Sukuna grabbed your hand and held it on his thigh. “Let them in!” He called to the footman and the doors were opened, with the first people ushered in being the Queen, followed by your family. Following Sukuna’s lead, you did not stand when she entered which had you twitching anxiously.

“To the happy new couple.” She said, giving a small clap. “I hope you enjoy the honeymoon I’ll provide to you.”

“Th-thank you, Your Majesty!” Your mouth dropped in shock, you forgot about the honeymoon. And with a honeymoon came consummating the marriage and you could feel your face begin to burn at the idea.

“(Y/N)!” All your siblings cried, rushing in once the Queen had made her exit. The younger ones leapt onto you while a sister right behind you in age ran her fingers over your veil. There was so much they were saying, how beautiful you looked and how ready they were for cake and it had you tearing up.

“Why are you crying?” Your mother asked, immediately grabbing a handkerchief to stem your tears.

“I-I’m going to miss you all, so so much!” Releasing Sukuna’s hand, you allowed your mother to clutch both of them.

“Listen to me, (Y/N)! You’ll see us again! It’s not as if you’re going on some great journey for five years, it’s just to the neighboring kingdom! Why, we can even come visit you if you’d like!” With your mother comforting you like a child, it was up to Sukuna to entertain your siblings and he was not prepared for the ordeal.

“Be careful with that sword!” Somehow two younger brothers managed to begin to unsheathe his sword with the intention of playing with it.

“Your Highness, since you’re our new brother can I ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“Why is your hair pink?”

“Everyone, please!” The look of exasperation quickly growing on Sukuna’s face pulled you out of your misery and a light laugh came out. “Let him rest, we have other guests to greet.”

“Yes, say goodbye to your sister and let us go out to the garden.”

“Bye!” Nearly smothered in a thousand hugs, they all eventually left. Before the next guests were brought in, a maid touched up your makeup at your mothers request.

“You’ll see them again, I promise.” Sukuna said, fixing his coat and a medal that had gone askew. “After our honeymoon we can bring them to the country estate.” Looking at Sukuna’s face you could tell he meant it and that made you smile.

“Thank you.”

As guest after guest came through, your knowledge of politics was put to the test. There was the Emperor Satoru Gojo who you knew Sukuna had a sometimes-not-so-friendly rivalry with. Archduke Nanami Kento whose people were renowned for their knowledge of cooking. King Getou Suguru hailed from a mountainous region with a high monkey population. All of them were kind to you, wishing you well and offering to host you in their country should you ever want to visit.

“Stay still.” Sukuna said abruptly as the next guests came in. The mood immediately shifted upon their entrance and you felt the air leave the room as a group of three filed in. They were clearly aristocrats or royalty Sukuna knew with the way he jumped up out of his seat.

“Your Highness!” There was one in the front who was clearly the leader, his yellow blonde hair contrasted with its dark tips. He had a few black metal piercings on each ear and the way he spoke made you bristle. “What a beautiful wedding!” Walking further into the room, the man locked eyes with you. “And an even more gorgeous wife.”

“Do not speak to her.” Sukuna stepped into his line of sight, effectively cutting you off. Looking at the rest of the group, there was a horrendously scarred woman staring at the floor and a man with inky black hair and a scar at the edge of his mouth. “What business do you have here?”

“Relax, we’re just here to pay our respects!” The blonde man began to waltz around the room with his arms open. “Why, a wedding truly has a way of bringing people together, does it not?” Returning to his previous position in the room, the man motioned to you. “Now, will you introduce us or do we have to do it ourselves?”

“You will not speak to her, you will not look at her.” Sukuna was irate, you could see it in the way his body had puffed up and his hand hovered near the hilt of his sword.

“Nonsense!” The man dared to take a step further and Sukuna gripped his sword, causing the woman to go into motion and move the cape she’d been wearing to the side, revealing a jagged looking blade tucked against her. You heard a few maids stifle terrified noises and you moved without thinking.

“M-my name is (Y/N)!” You shot up out of your seat, making everyone turn to you. The look in Sukuna’s eyes as he turned was white hot and scalding, forcing you to look away. “Her Highness, Crown Princess Ryomen (Y/N).” It was hard to say the entirety of your new title without stuttering but somehow you managed.

“What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman!” Sidestepping Sukuna, the blonde man held out his hand for you and you followed suit, playing whatever game he wanted and resting your hand in his, letting him kiss the back of it. “I am Tsar Zenin, Naoya Zenin.”

Your brow furrowed as you thought back to your schooling. There had been no mention of a Naoya Zenin anywhere in your books or in the newspapers and bulletins your father read. The Zenin family name was vague to you at best; but there was no time to dwell on it further as Naoya flicked his head and the man with the scarred lip came forward and pulled out a wooden box.

“Your Highness, allow me to give you a gift!” The top of the wooden box was removed with flair and inside was a thick suede headband, adorned with large circular diamonds forming a floral pattern with a few other colored gems dotting the empty spaces. There was also a pair of matching earrings that looked much too big for your ears.

“What do you think?” Naoya asked quietly.

“It’s- they’re very beautiful, thank you.” His expression was making you uncomfortable and you glanced at Sukuna. He had gone completely still as he watched the scene unfold before him.

“I hope to see you wearing them when you visit my country. Many women wear this style and I think it would suit you.”

“She will do no such thing.” Sukunas voice broke the buzzing tension in the air, ripping Naoya away from you and scoffing at the gift he gave. “I would never have my wife go anywhere near a country where a prince kills his whole family just to be in power.”

You gasped, nearly stumbling back at the news. Naoya’s eyes flicked to you and his smile faltered; he didn’t want you to know that part about him and moreover if you did come to know, he wanted to be the one to tell you and control the narrative you heard.

“Princess, don-”

“Do not speak to her!” Sukuna grabbed Naoya roughly by the collar and they locked eyes. Naoyas lackeys stood poised and ready should a fight break out but Naoya seemed perfectly content with the situation.

“I see the groom has had enough of us. We shall take our leave.” Raising his hands in surrender, Naoya slowly backed away with a cocky grin on his face. Turning to you, he put a hand on his chest and bowed. “Princess, I hope we meet again soon. I wish to bask in your beauty even longer next time.” With no other words, Naoya and his group left the way they came, making sure to leave the wooden box on a credenza by the door.

As soon as they left, Sukuna was in front of you, inspecting you with his eyes. His body was still painfully tense and you could see the way his teeth ground together every so often.

“Are you mad at me?” You were afraid he would start yelling at you at any moment, reprimand you for speaking to Naoya and not letting him handle the situation. Sukuna didn’t react to your question, instead picking up the hand that Naoya touched and wiping it off on his jacket.

“How are you?” He asked instead.

“I’m fine. I apologize for-”

“No. Stop.” Shaking his head, Sukuna bit back a sigh. “I am not mad at you. I am mad at myself for not expecting that a potential enemy to the kingdom would use this day as an opportunity to try and do something. I…I’m mad that I failed to protect you.” Sukuna shook his head again and looked down at the medals on his jacket. “I’m a godforsaken general afterall.”

After taking a moment to collect yourselves, you received the rest of your guests in quick succession. Seeing your friends helped push your shaken nerves away and so was seeing the rest of the ton. With the reception over, you moved into the main hall to continue the festivities.

“Excuse me.” Once inside, Sukuna made a beeline for a table occupied by a few of the royalty you had met with. They were sharing a few bottles of champagne and Sukuna popped one open and wasted no time drinking almost half of it.

As the wedding went on you were able to forget about Naoya and the seriousness of the situation. You danced with friends and family and even some members of the ton that had been jealous or disapproving of you getting to marry the prince. Everyone was in high spirits and it made you happy to be able to bring everyone together.

With the evening coming to a close, you realized you and Sukuna had hardly seen each other. You saw him dance with a few people, even the Queen, but for the most part he was drinking with his friends and playing yard games. Whenever you caught his eye he would wave, each time getting drunker and drunker.

“Your Highness, I know you’re to start your honeymoon right away as Prince Sukuna requested but he’s in no shape to travel tonight.” A footman gave you the information with a sorry look on his face and you understood why; Sukuna had drank so much he had to retreat from the party early to throw up. Emperor Gojo and King Getou were in no better shape passed out on the lawn and Archduke Nanami was nursing his last drink with a bright flush on his cheeks.

“I understand. Please, see to it that he cleans up and rests for tonight and I will see our guests off.” You pitied the valet’s that would have to wrestle Sukuna into a bathtub. Turning back to the party, it wouldn’t be so bad to finish it alone as a few guests had already taken their leave.

“A shame about your new husband, my dear.” The Queen came to stand at your side, making your back immediately straighten.

“Yes, it is.”

“He told me what happened. With the Tsar.” She spoke quietly, bringing her fan to the front of her face. “Tell me, what do you think of the whole matter?”

“I…” Truth be told, you tried not to think about it. “I do not think we should rush into responding to this…intrusion. I feel as though Naoya is just playing, he wanted to test the Prince's patience; see how far he could go.”

“I agree. The Zenin family has had a bloody climb to power but I know they wouldn’t be stupid enough to rush into any conflict just yet. Their country is on shaky ground as it is, Naoya must secure his right to the throne before he looks elsewhere.” The Queen's words were reassuring and enough to give you peace of mind. She always knew what to say, so confident in her words and actions; you hoped to emulate her one day when Sukuna took the throne.

“My diamond, let’s give your guests a proper farewell. Your honeymoon awaits you.” Putting her fan away, the Queen gently grabbed your hand and squeezed.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

[helloalycia]

𝐈 𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐑 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] // 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: Lucy Gray has always been there for you, the only person you care for as much as you do. So much, in fact, that when you discover Mayfair's plan to have her reaped in the Hunger Games, you know you have to stop it. Even if it means giving up your own life.

warning/s: the usual warnings that come with the Hunger Games.

author's note: okay so someone requested another lucy gray imagine where reader volunteers for her, so that’s what i did but kinda did it a little bit different as the usual volunteering storyline feels very been there done that lol. Hope you all like it anyway! there’s a second part too :)

two / masterlist / wattpad

It had been a long a day, my feet hurting from being stood up for so long and my exhaustion from working a long shift worsening by the second. But as soon as the clock hit 5pm, all my energy returned and I was quick to leave my apron behind as I left. Working at a crockery stall in the markets wasn't a terrible job, and it paid decently, but some days dragged longer than others and I only wished for it to end.

Thankfully, tonight was also a night that the Covey performed at the Hob, so I made my way over there, specifically behind it where the musical group got ready before performances in an abandoned garage they claimed as theirs. I always met before their shows, wanting to wish them luck and also because Lucy Gray, my best friend, would never let me hear the end of it if I didn't stop by beforehand.

"There you are!" Maude Ivory, the youngest of the group, called me over once I stepped in the open door. "You took forever!"

"I'm like two minutes late, Maude Ivory," I defended myself, and a smile fell on my lips when I saw her pouting. "Sorry."

"Can you braid my hair like last time?" she asked politely, already turning around and readying herself for me.

"I sure can," I agreed, smiling at the others as they got ready before moving to braid Maude Ivory's hair.

It didn't take long, just a simple braid around the crown of her head, complementing the rest of her hair that was left out in a way that made her look like a princess. Adorable.

"Oh, I love it!" she gushed, immediately looking in the mirror to appreciate it, and I watched her with a smile. "Thank you, Y/N!"

"No problem," I said dismissively.

"Wow, you look beautiful, Maude Ivory," Lucy Gray appeared beside me, smiling down at the younger girl, and then she gave me a playful look. "Favouritism much?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "All you had to do was ask."

She immediately took a seat on the chair Maude Ivory was moments ago. When I didn't move, she glanced over her shoulder at me with a knowing nod. "Well, go on then."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly before moving to braid her hair next, squeezing her shoulder slightly in retaliation, and I knew she was smiling all the same. As I'd done many times before, I combed out Lucy Gray's curly hair with my fingers, unknotting it the best I could, before separating it into two parts and giving her two over-the-shoulder braids.

"You done?" she asked impatiently, definitely trying to annoy me.

I finished tying off the second braid before rounding the chair to take a look. Her brown eyes looked up at me adorably, and even though she did nothing special, my heart fluttered in my chest at the attention.

Okay, so maybe I liked her a little more than friends, but I couldn't help it. She was the only person I had in my life that meant something to me, the only one who truly cared. After becoming friends many years ago because we happened to play in the park together as kids, she was stuck with me, and I suppose my gratitude for having her in my life turned into adoration somewhere along the way.

The only real family I had was my father, but he had been bitter towards me since my mum died only a few years after I was born. He hated me without saying it, and I sought love in friendship with Lucy Gray. Though, it was so much more than that on my end. But she could never know, for I'd rather have her in my life like this than not at all. And I would never risk jeopardising that, ever.

"Don't move," I warned her, before leaving the garage for a moment to pick a flower I'd seen just outside.

When I returned, I was surprised to see her sat how I'd left her, though pouting. I carefully slid the flower at the top of her braid, near her ear, and stepped back to admire my work.

"You're done, Little Miss Impatient," I finally said with a stifled smile.

She gave me a disapproving look before moving to the mirror to check it out. Her facade faltered as a warm smile tugged at her lips and she admired the view.

"Okay, I'll let you off since this is pretty nice," she said jokingly.

"Wow, only nice? I thought it was much more than that," I played along.

Her smile widened as she approached me, before kissing me on the cheek and hugging me briefly. I was expecting neither, my brain short circuiting as quickly as she pulled away.

"It's beautiful, Y/N, thank you," she said truthfully, losing her humour. When I didn't know what to say, too busy trying not to think about her lips against my cheek, she said, "You're stayin', right?"

I blinked, dazed. "Huh?"

She began to chuckle, and then her question truly sank in and I cleared my throat, nodding.

"I– yes, I am," I said, giving her a small smile. "Where else would I be?"

She rolled her eyes playfully before turning to the others. "Right, guys, are we ready to blow everyone's socks off?!"

As always, I enjoyed my evening at the Hob, cheering the Covey on and staying for all their performances as promised. It was always so lovely in there, except for the occasional fight that would break out between the miners and Peacekeepers, but none of that happened tonight. I was tired by the end of it all, as were the others, but as we all walked out together, Lucy Gray tugged my hand back.

"Hm?" I said, yawning as I looked to her.

"Are you in a rush to get home?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"No, why?" I asked curiously.

Excited, she said, "Come to the lake with me."

I quirked a brow. "Now?"

Expression softening, she nodded. "Yeah, it'll be nice. It's a clear night too."

Another yawn escaped my lips and I covered my mouth before shaking my head. "I dunno, I'm a little tired and it's getting late."

"C'mon," she insisted, before grabbing my hand and forcing me to follow her, but not before looking to the others and adding, "I'll see you guys later!"

"Don't make too much noise when you're back!" Barb Azure, the eldest of their group, warned her.

"I won't," Lucy Gray mumbled, and then we were off and I just about managed to wish everyone a goodnight behind me before we were too far from them.

"How aren't you tired?" I asked as I fell into step with her, accepting my defeat and knowing I couldn't really decline her offer anyway. "You've been onstage all night."

She shrugged. "I'm a little tired, but I wanted to spend more time with you. You've been workin' loads lately."

I sighed, feeling a little bad. "Sorry, it's the house. Payments are falling behind and my dad is getting on my back and–"

"Hey, I'm not complainin'," she stopped me. "I just miss you."

A small smile crept on my lips at her unwavering honesty – that was one thing I'd always envied about her. She could say how she was feeling without overthinking how it could be perceived, whereas I was the complete opposite.

"I'm right here," I assured her, and then she glanced at me with a smile that warmed my heart.

"How is he?" she asked. "He still standoffish with you?"

"Isn't he always?" I said, a little bitterly, before shaking my head. "Never mind him anyway. Doesn't matter."

Probably sensing my mood, she said, "You're right, it doesn't. You have me."

I was glad it was dark out, otherwise she would've seen the pink dusting my cheeks.

We continued our walk to the lake, talking and trying to stay awake long enough to make it there. It was a long walk on a regular day, but tonight it felt even longer because of the constant stepping around and trying to find our way in the dim light of the moon peeking through the trees. Still, it was comforting to be around Lucy Gray instead of back home where my dad would no doubt be on my case, so I savoured the time together.

By the time we reached the lake – in particular, a spot where a cabin sat, with a dock and boat beside it – Lucy Gray and I were wide awake, any hint of exhaustion for the evening dispersing with our trek. We both took a seat at the edge of the dock, feet dangling over the side, and she nudged my arm gently.

"Look how pretty the water looks," she said with amazement, and I hummed in agreement.

It was beautiful out tonight, the lull of the water lapping over itself and shimmering in the moonlight providing the perfect view for a perfect evening. Being out here always put me at ease, but being out here with Lucy Gray was indescribable.

After a moment of quiet, she nudged me again and I took the hint, following her lead as we both lay on our backs to look up at the night sky. If the view before was great, then this was amazing. Stars filled the sky, dazzling and bright and filling me with a sense of awe. It was different than seeing the stars from my house – this was all open, isolated, peaceful. I loved it.

"How many have times have you been here at night?" I asked Lucy Gray curiously.

"Not a lot," she assured, "but enough to know that it'a perfect for stargazin', and you love that, so I wanted to show you."

I chuckled a little. "I do. Thanks."

Another quiet enveloped us, only the sound of the water, the trees rustling gently and some birds in the distance to be heard. I could have stayed like this forever. It certainly would have been an upgrade from my usual life.

"Did you see Billy Taupe earlier?" Lucy Gray asked suddenly.

Billy Taupe was her ex-boyfriend and an ex-member of the Covey, but we'd all be ignoring him for a few weeks now after we'd discovered he'd cheated on Lucy Gray with the mayor's daughter. As a result, him and said daughter, Mayfair Lipp, weren't fond of us, especially Mayfair, who seemed to hold a personal vendetta against Lucy Gray.

I nodded, glancing at her, but she was still looking at the sky. "Yeah. I avoided him, but him and Mayfair were glaring at me for sure."

She exhaled quietly, troubled.

"Did he say something?" I asked, attention fully on her now.

"He confronted me between one of my performances," she admitted, piquing both my interest and concern. "Started talkin' about how I needed to stop badmouthin' him to the rest of the Covey."

I furrowed my brows. "You haven't though. If anything, you barely mention him."

"Well, he doesn't seem to think that," she said with an eye roll.

I frowned, hating to see her upset at the likes of him yet again. "If he keeps bothering you, tell me. I'll have a word with him."

As if I'd said something hilarious, she began to smile and then laughter spilled from her lips. "You're cute, and I appreciate it, but you shouldn't get involved. Him and Mayfair are capable of a lot."

"Lucy Gray–" I started, ready to retort, but she cut me off with a serious stare, her smile fading.

"Promise me, Y/N," she said sternly, dark eyes boring into mine.

I gave in instantly, embarrassingly enough. "I promise."

Visibly relieved, she relaxed and nodded slightly before sitting up and stretching her arms. I watched for a moment, though thoughts of Billy Taupe and his foulness stuck in my mind. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Same with Mayfair? Didn't they have anything better to do?

"Say, you ever been for an evenin' swim under the stars?"

I blinked, barely paying attention. "What?"

She glanced down at me with a smirk, before standing up and beginning to step out of her dress. Realising what she was doing, I sat up and started to protest.

"Lucy Gray, it's gonna be cold and dark and–"

But she beat me to it, her dress pooling by my feet as she dove in from the edge of the dock. I wiped my face with mild annoyance as she splashed me, watching as she resurfaced with a laugh.

"C'mon, you gon' leave me hangin'?!" she exclaimed.

I narrowed my eyes at her with distaste, but as always, I couldn't say no to her. So, grumbling to myself petulantly, I stepped out of my own clothes and dove right into the water next to her. It was cold, as suspected, but as I resurfaced, my body was already getting used to the temperature. It was still the middle of summer, so it was actually quite refreshing in the evening heat, though my complaints of it being dark were still valid.

"Not bad, right?" Lucy Gray asked me with a grin.

I pushed my hair from my eyes and gave her a reluctant glance. "I suppose not."

Her grin only widened, and then she looked up, eyes reflecting the moonlight and shimmering like the water. "Look."

I looked up too, amazed by the sight of the sky yet again, but before I could say anything, Lucy Gray splashed my face with water, making me shriek with surprise.

"Lucy Gray!" I scolded, wiping my eyes as she laughed. "You did that on purpose!"

Her laughter only increased, and then I was attempting to splash her back, but she was swimming backwards and then I was swimming after her, her laughter filling the silence of the woods and brightening up the place more than the moon ever could. I eventually grabbed her and splashed her face enough for her to spit it out and cease her laughter.

"Okay, okay, you win!" she gave in, wiping her eyes before playfully glaring at me.

It was my turn to laugh and she rolled her eyes lightheartedly before swimming around me yet again.

We stayed there for a little longer, splashing about and talking about everything and nothing. It was easy to forget everything waiting for me back home, or my job that I didn't want to go to, or the reality of our lives. No, all I had to focus on right now was Lucy Gray's voice, her company, her.

But it was seriously getting late, no doubt past midnight now, and all good things couldn't last forever. We were floating on our backs, staring at the sky in a comfortable silence, and I hated that I had to interrupt it.

"We should go back," I said reluctantly, stopping floating. "If my dad realises–"

"Right, yeah," she agreed apologetically. "Come on."

We both climbed out the lake in a peaceful silence, tugging on our clothes and shoes and squeezing the water from our hair the best we could. As I was doing just that, I felt her eyes on me and looked up with a confused smile.

"What?" I asked, feeling the last of the water drip down my wrists as I let go of my hair.

She began to smile unabashedly. "I'm glad I have you. Thanks for coming tonight. For being here."

My face was heating up, but I played it off with a playful eye roll. "Weirdo."

She chuckled quietly, shaking her head, before leading the way back to the Seam.

It had been a long day at work and the last thing I wanted was to come home to my father being grumpy, and yet that was what I'd gotten a few days later.

As soon as I walked in, I saw him home too, looking around the kitchen with a clenched jaw. He must have just got back from the mines, judging from the coal dust covering his clothes and skin.

"Hey, dad," I greeted politely, though already feeling tense because he didn't seem to be in a good mood.

"The hell is all this?" he asked me, ignoring my greeting and instead motioning to the dishes on the table.

"What do you mean?" I asked with confusion, leaving my bag by the door.

"It's a mess in here," he said with irritation. "Did you not clean up?"

"Dad, I've been at work all day," I reminded him, sensing he'd had a bad day at work, because he wasn't usually this hostile. "When would I have cleaned up?"

He raised his eyebrows, as if I'd said something absurd. "Excuse me?"

I swallowed hard, not liking the way he sneered at me. "I–," I started, but stopped because I didn't know what to say. Technically, they were his dishes. His mess.

"Y'know, I work really hard to keep us alive," he said with a glare. "And the least you could do is keep the place tidy. You do fuck all anyway!"

I clenched my jaw, frowning and trying my best to contain my annoyance. "I know you do. But these were your dishes. From breakfast. I didn't even eat, I just left."

"Oh, so it's my fault?! That what you're saying?!"

"You're not listening!" I couldn't help but shout, getting sick and tired of his behaviour. "Look, you might have had a bad day at work, but you can't just take it out on me!"

"You don't know what I get up to at work!" he shouted right back. "It's not like yours, standing there, looking pretty! It's hard labour! Something you could never understand!" Then he motioned around and added, "Clearly! This place is a tip!"

I clenched my fists behind my back, but my anger was building up. "It's a tip because of you, dad! You leave it a mess! Then you come back and you blame it on me!"

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me!" he yelled. "Have some respect!"

"Then actually try and listen to what I'm–!"

I couldn't even finish because he suddenly slapped me across the face, a sharp, blinding slap that knocked me off my feet for a second, leaving me stumbling into the kitchen table. I blinked, tears pooling in my eyes.

"Clean this place up," he snapped, before turning around to go to his room, slamming the door behind him.

I breathed out slowly, eyes burning now, and tried to ignore the pins and needles on my cheek. It wasn't the first time he'd hit me, and I should have been used to it, but it still took me by surprise sometimes. I hated it. I hated him. I would have done anything to leave, but I had nowhere to go.

Needing to get out of there as I calmed down, I left through the front door, waiting by the side of the house. I took in some fresh air and wiped furiously at my tears. He was the worst father a child could ask for, but he was the only one I had.

My face was hot and I was glad I couldn't see my reflection, knowing it would just be red on one side. As I finished wiping the last of my tears, I heard footsteps from behind me and sucked up a breath before turning around, worried it might be my father, back for round two. Thankfully it wasn't, but it was Lucy Gray.

She was smiling at first, then her eyes took in my expression and it faded instantly.

"What happened?" she asked straight away, stopping before me.

"Nothing," I assured her, though my cheek was still flaming, and she wasn't stupid.

She looked back at my house, and then back to me with a frown. "He was upset again, wasn't he?"

I looked to my shoes shamefully, not needing to answer. She knew what he was like, but it was something I hated to put on her. Nonetheless, she understood, and she touched my cheek gently, making me wince.

"You should stay with us," she muttered, trying to find my eyes, but I wouldn't look up. "We'll always have room for you, Y/N."

"I can't," I said with embarrassment. "And he's not always like this. It's– I'm handling it."

"No, you're not," she said, letting go of my cheek.

I didn't want to argue, nor did I want her pity, so I cleared my throat and looked up with the intention to change the subject. "What did you come here for anyway?"

She wasn't happy as she gave me a worried look. "Y/N–"

"Lucy Gray," I pleaded, before she could say anything more.

Giving in, she exhaled quietly. "I wanted to see if you wanted to go on a picnic with us tomorrow. You're not workin', right?"

At the sound of something much nicer, I relaxed and nodded. "I'd like that."

She seemed to relax too. "Good." Then she glanced over her shoulder at the house again, before adding, "You're stayin' with us tonight."

"I'm not–"

"You are," she insisted stubbornly. "You still have a few things left from last time."

I sighed tiredly. "I have to clean up. He's gonna be mad."

"We'll clean up together, then you're comin'," she reasoned.

"I'll do it myself," I told her, shaking my head. "You know he doesn't like me hanging around with you."

She looked ready to protest, but I shot her a pleading look. The last thing I wanted was to set him off again, especially in front of Lucy Gray. Thankfully, she seemed to get this and nodded reluctantly.

"Fine, but hurry up," she gave in, taking my hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "I don't like you in there alone."

"I'll be quick," I promised, before leaving her to clean up.

My dad was still sulking in his room, so I was able to clean up quickly and let him know where I was going. He didn't answer, nor did he stop me, so I left and met Lucy Gray back outside. She took my hand without question, not letting go until we reached her place. I was glad not to be alone tonight.

A week later, it was another fun evening at the Hob where I watched my best friend perform and I didn't have to worry about work or my dad or anything. It was just like any other evening there, nothing out of the ordinary, or so I thought.

During one of Maude Ivory's talented solos, I got up to the go to the toilet, making it a quick one so I wouldn't miss a thing. But as I left the women's toilets, I caught sight of Billy Taupe and Mayfair chatting around the corner in hushed voices. I didn't care at first, trying to ignore they existed for Lucy Gray's sake, but then they mentioned the singer herself and I couldn't help but eavesdrop a little.

"...doesn't know when to keep her trap shut and herself to herself," Mayfair was saying bitterly.

"She's a singer," Billy Taupe reminded her. "That's what she does. Just ignore it."

Mayfair scoffed. "She thinks she has everyone in this town wrapped around her finger because, what, she can sing? And put on a little show? Well, you know what, we'll see how she sings her way out of the reaping!"

I froze from behind the wall, wondering what she meant by that.

"What?" Billy Taupe asked, just as confused but suspicious as I.

"She may have the looks, honey, but I have the connections," Mayfair continued, her hushed voice growing increasingly more annoyed as she spoke. "You just wait until reaping day. Lucy Gray won't be bothering anyone for much longer."

My eyes widened at her threat. What the hell was she talking about?

"What are you–" Billy Taupe started, but the sound of the floorboards creaking beneath my weight made him stop, and I cursed inwardly.

Before they could even consider investigating, I slipped away between the doors unnoticed, back into the main room where everybody was distracted by the singing, dancing and drinking. My head was reeling though, trying to piece together what I'd just heard.

There was no way Mayfair would do what she was implying, right? She wouldn't just sabotage the reaping because of a feud, surely? Would she? If she did, then that would mean Lucy Gray would be chosen as tribute and–

Oh, God. If she was chosen, she'd be shipped off to partake in the Hunger Games and that was it. She wasn't a fighter, she was a performer. And the Games was no place for someone like her. I'd never see her again. And her family– oh, no. No, this couldn't happen!

What could I do to stop this? Mayfair would never listen to reason, especially not from me. It wasn't fair, any of it.

Suddenly, I felt nauseous at the thought of everything playing out just as Mayfair wanted. Needing some fresh air, feeling overly stuffy in the Hob, I pushed past everyone and stepped outside, ignoring those who were enjoying a cigarette or drink and trying not to throw up.

I couldn't lose Lucy Gray like this, not because of some stupid feud. How badly could Mayfair hate her to do this? The Covey would be broken without her. She was too valuable to everyone. And she was all I had.

"Y/N?"

I turned around, seeing Lucy Gray approaching me with a concerned smile on her lips.

"What happened?" she asked, stopping before me.

I blinked, my thoughts still racing around. "What?"

"You left lookin' upset," she said worriedly. "What happened?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, shaking my head. "Nothing. I just feel sick. Might've eaten something funny."

Her smile faded, replaced by a concerned frown. "Oh, gosh, do you wanna go home? Go to ours? I can walk you back. The others won't mind if I leave a little early."

She was watching me carefully, patiently, dark eyes flittering around my face as if she'd find the problem just like that. She was too kind for her own good and I couldn't help but think about how unfair this all was. She wasn't a bad person at all. How could Mayfair do this? Why couldn't I do anything about it? There had to be something!

"Y/N?" Lucy Gray said, before pressing the back of her hand to my forehead with concentration. "Hmm, you do feel a little warm."

It wasn't fair.

Without thinking, I hugged her tightly, promising myself there and then that I would fix this. She wasn't going to be subjected to Mayfair's wrath, not if I could help it.

"Woah, what's gotten into you?" she said with surprise, but returned the hug.

"Sorry," I mumbled, before pulling back and clearing my throat. "I just need some water. I'll be fine."

She quirked a brow. "You're sure?"

I nodded, trying my hardest not to worry her anymore.

"Okay... good," she said with relief, before a smile curled on her lips. "I've got a new song I want you to hear."

I returned her smile, letting her tug my hand and lead me back inside, but the truth of what I knew was already starting to suffocate me.

For days I mulled it over, trying to convince myself that maybe I misheard or misinterpreted Mayfair's words. Or that, maybe, Mayfair didn't have as much power as she was letting on.

But deep down, I knew it was true, and she was just petty enough to send Lucy Gray to her death. Which then brought me to my next problem: what could I do to stop it?

Mayfair was the mayor's daughter and the mayor was the one who chose the names for the reaping. It was pretty solid, with no interference from me able to stop it. But what was I to do? Do I tell Lucy Gray? Her family? At least, if I did, it would give them time to prepare. But how exactly? Would it not be easier to just let it play out as to not ruin their last moments together?

I didn't know, and it was so much information to carry, eating away at me little by little. What I did know was that I couldn't lose Lucy Gray. What would my life even look like if she was gone? What would the Covey do without her?

Lucy Gray was loved, needed, wanted. She couldn't die, not when she'd be so dearly missed and had so much left to give. If only I could take her place... I knew I would if I could. Nobody needed me or cared for me, nobody but her. But she'd get over my death. And my dad couldn't care less. If it meant saving Lucy Gray, I would do it. After all, I loved her.

But I couldn't, because it was her name to be picked, not mine. And with her name, she'd walk onstage and I'd never see her again. How could I change that?

[pennyellee]

CHAPTER VI - súton

LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU

pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au

summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.

Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.

chapter warnings: minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, mentions of God, mentions of alcohol, manhandling, mentions of murder, gun use, abduction, attempted non-con, gaslighting, vomiting, anxiety, choking, decapitation, strong language, smut, loss of virginity

beta read by @chaoticpuff17

word count: 11,1K

disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.

m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER II CHAPTER III CHAPTER IV CHAPTER V CHAPTER VII

súton (n.) twilight; the approach of death or the end of something

Images flashed through her mind like fragments of a dream, mixing reality with a disorienting haze. Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest as she braced herself for what was to come. She was still in her temporary private quarters. Was it all just a dream? Confusion ran through Y/N like the hot blood inside her veins.

The engine of the roaring car pierced her ears and her vision was still blurry. “Where am I?” she whispered, her voice slowly progressing to realise the situation. She grabbed the letter seat, trying to pull herself up.

“Chan-yeol?” she asked, pressured.

“Little bird, are you ready to fly away?” he laughed. Y/N looked at him with terror in her pupils.

“Are you out of your mind? You just signed your own death certificate Chan-yeol!” This is bad. Her thoughts spoke to her in distress, each and one of them telling her to do something.

“What, a sudden change of heart? Did you not want me to ship you off to the new land?” said the man, accelerating the car.

“He’s going to slaughter everyone!” she screamed.

“You did not think of that when you ran the last time or the time before, why now Y/N?” He spitted his words out, looking at her through the mirror. Y/N took a deep breath, trying to collect herself before she would lose her mind for good.

“He has the whole family on a silver platter there Chan-yeol! Turn the car right now!”

“We’re almost there.” He declared. 

“Yoongi?!” was the first name that came to her mind. Voice full of fear. The sound of urgent footsteps echoed around her, crescendoing with the abrupt swing of the door. However, the one she sought, the man whose name she called, was not in her sight.

“Namjoon?” she called out, the surprise evident in her voice, interwoven with a thread of relief.

“How do you feel?” He asked, slowly approaching her petite form.

“What— I don’t understand,” she struggled to articulate her bewildered thoughts.

“You’ll thank me later.”

Chan-yeol’s words cut through the frosty air. He steered the car to the side of the road. Snow was everywhere she could see, each surface draped in ethereal white. Without waiting for the vehicle to come to a complete halt, Y/N flung the car door open, her steps bold as she ventured out into the wilderness.

The direction from which they arrived became a backdrop as she briskly distanced herself from Chan-yeol’s presence.

“This might be your last chance to flee this wicked world, girl.” His voice, heightened in intensity, reached her ears. Y/N stopped in tracks — the ultimatum clear.

Her family on one side, her newfound reality on the other – a choice lay before her.

“You have no idea what you just did!” she screamed defiantly, she refused to spare him a glance. “You’ve ruined everything!”

“Y/N?” a different voice echoed and her eyes widened at the unexpected interruption.

“I did not, Namjoon. I did not try to run away. You have to believe me!” Her words tumbled out in a frantic attempt to convey her innocence. Namjoon, his touch gentle, enveloped her small hands in his.

“Shhh… I know, it’s alright.” Namjoon cooed at the bride. And that’s when every single picture came back to her mind.

“How—how did you get here, for the love of God?” Y/N pivoted towards the speaking man, memories of their shared past flooding back as if the study hall of Shenyang’s University was just yesterday.

“I came for you,” he declared.

“For me?” She asked, disbelief in her voice.

“For me?!” she repeated, a frustrated laugh bubbling up. “Now you’re coming for me.” Y/N recalled the day he declared that she was in this battle alone, a stark contrast to their current proximity. They were never that close, he was too afraid to even hold her hand or maintain prolonged eye contact. But she considered him to be a friend, nonetheless.

“I love you,” he confessed, staring directly into her eyes.

“You love me?” She asked, mocking him, a bitter edge to her tone.

“Where was this love when I needed to run the hell out of the continent, huh?” She closed the distance between them, pushing him with aggressive force.

“You're a coward, Han Chen,” she spat, the venom in her voice cutting through the tension.

“I have a plan, Y/N,” he replied, brushing off her words even as they stung.

“Hmm… you have a plan. And what is this plan exactly?”

“He won’t want you if you’re ruined, Y/N.”

His words hit her like a cold gust of wind, and she gasped at the implications.

The haunting melody of that familiar song resonated in her mind once again.

“He—he attempted to rape me.” Y/N looked through her teary eyes directly at Namjoon's, whose mimics told her, she is right.

“He paid for that with his life.”

“You’re going to kill us all!” Her words became the truth once the first bullet was fired, finding its mark in Chen’s head. Y/N witnessed his eyes blackening, a vacancy replacing the spark of life. 

He was gone. Blood dripped down his neck, staining her chest, her breath hitching as her vision blurred. Chan-yeol swore and fumbled with his gun, leaving Y/N to crumple to the ground, as he was tightly holding her down for the devil’s messenger to do the unforgivable.

Her eyes narrowed at the white sky. Chen’s lifeless body collapsing onto her smaller frame. Y/N’s hands trembled as she mustered the strength to slowly push his corpse away.

“Are you alright?” she heard him before she saw him above her.

“What about the wedding?” she asked, curiosity mingling with the shock that gripped her.

“We’ll proceed—” he answered, addressing yet another of her fears.

Speech and vision eluded her. “Y/N?” he asked again, gently throwing Chen’s lifeless body off her. “Darling, please say something.” His concern was palpable.

“Let me go, you fuckers!” Chan-yeol’s enraged screams echoed nearby. He hadn’t made a clean escape after all.

Hoseok helped her sit. Y/N’s eyes mirrored the emptiness that had claimed Chen’s.

“Darling?” Hoseok urged, attempting to coax her back to the present.

“—and hold a trial tomorrow.”

“Trail?” she asked, her voice fragile.

“Chan-yeol was a part of our clan. He is a traitor, and we’ll treat him as such.”

“And what about—”

She cast one more glance at Chen’s lifeless form before shifting her attention to Chan-yeol, struggling on the ground, surrounded by Min soldiers from whom she only recognised Jungkook.

“I want to go back, Hoseok-ssi. Please take me back.” Her voice wavered. Hoseok breathed out, relieved, helping her stand. As she turned to look at Chan-yeol, his screams pierced the air.

“Don’t look that way, sweetie,” Hoseok intervened, guiding her away from the chaotic scene. Only when they reached the parked cars, a good half a mile away from the unfolding drama, did she exhale and allow herself to close her eyes.

“Yoongi is beyond pissed. We could have avoided this if you would tell him about that foolish boy.”

“I swear, Namjoon, we were not... we did not—” she stammered.

“—I did not know he would come look for me nor do that….”

“Do not tell that to me, princess,” he sighed.

“I need you to get dressed. We have already postponed it, and we cannot do it any longer.”

“Sure,” were her only words to him.

“She called for you, brother,” the right-hand man spoke as he entered the boss’s office, where Yoongi was finally getting ready for the wedding.

“Explain,” the young groom responded while fixing his tux in front of the mirror.

“She called your name when she woke up.”

“Did she?” Yoongi felt a spark of hope that he would indeed become her person, her lover, her everything, just as she was to him.

The right-hand man chuckled at his questioning response, knowing it warmed Yoongi’s heart.

“Damn this one tradition; you should go and see her.”

“I would, but that would ruin the thrill, wouldn’t it, hmm,” he hummed.

“You’re getting married, brother.”

“Yes, today I’m getting married, and tomorrow I have to deal with a man who kidnapped my woman and let the other fucker almost rape her,” Yoongi spat, hitting the wall next to the mirror. He never felt greater anxiety than when Xiaoli said she was taken away from him. How ironic that he is to be the one who feels anxious.

Her mother crying, father screaming at everyone, younger sister praying. Yoongi had a feeling that she would not be that stupid to run away when he had her family inside the hotel.

“Nothing else will go wrong.”

“Did you greet the Yamamotos?” The Yakuza clan was invited to the wedding, a bold move, and what was even bolder—they accepted and arrived.

“I surely did, brother,” said Namjoon.

“Good,” Yoongi smirked, not expecting what is yet to come.

“Everything is as it should be.”

“I don’t want Y/N’s father near her until the wedding, Jungkook-ah,” requested Yoongi from the passive listener, seated just a few meters away on the sofa, sipping on his glass of white liquor.

“As you wish, Hyung,” he put the glass down and stood up, fixing his tux and putting on his white hat.

“And for fuck’s sake, patch those knuckles, aight?” Yoongi screamed playfully after him.

The temple, a sanctuary of weary souls, stood solemnly bearing witness to the union unfolding within its hallowed walls.

The bride, adorned in a crimson hanfu dress, with beautiful shining golden details on her long sleeves, walked the creaking wooden path towards the temple’s entrance, her steps heavy with the knowledge of what is awaiting her. The rich fabric of her dress billowed like a blood-red sea, a stark contrast to the pallor of her face that concealed emotions that dared not surface.

The courtyard was adorned with bright red and white paper lanterns when she passed it. She did not dare to look around at all the noble underground hats who had gathered to witness the union of two syndicates.

The flickering candles cast eerie, dancing shadows upon the ancient murals depicting forgotten legends. The distant sounds of the city, with its bustling streets and restless souls, provided a haunting contrast to the stillness of this timeless ceremony. The soft strains of the gayageum and the rhythmic beats of the janggu filled the air.

At the temple’s altar, the groom, equally somber in attire, awaited the bride. His eyes, like deep pools, hinted at the secrets he carried, secrets buried beneath, he wished to share with her.

The chants of the officiating monk resonated through the temple; a haunting reminder of the spiritual solace sought amidst the chaos of the outside world. Their union was a flicker of defiance against the oppressive forces that sought to extinguish the spirit of a nation. She was not initially meant to be his, fate seemed to have favoured him, and Yoongi thanked the almighty for bringing her to him.

Y/N dared not look at him, her breath unsteady, visible puffs in the cold air. The gal held her head high nonetheless, she was desperately trying not to give in to her intrusive thoughts and turn around, flee for her life, try one last time.

The gun pressed to Daiyu’s back served as a grim reminder, preventing her from succumbing to intrusive thoughts. She could see the tears that were in her eyes as she held tightly her little son. Chan-yeol, held captive and beaten for sins he performed.

The eyes of the guests felt heavy, especially her father’s, still unamused by the young leader’s audacity, keeping his hand tightly on his neck. Forbidden from seeing his own daughter before the ceremony, he seethed with anger, his frustration directed at the young Kkangpae.

Y/N’s heartbeat echoed loudly as she climbed the stairs to stand face-to-face with Yoongi, trying to find the courage to look at him. His eyes were full of expectations, he was waiting for this moment.

The exchange of bows signified respect and commitment. If this would be a traditional wedding, not minding their social status in the syndicates, they would continue with drinking rice wine sikhye, symbolizing the blending of their lives.

But this was not a common wedding. This ceremony was different. Altered by the traditions of the Min Clan. The moment arrived when Y/N extended her palm to take the knife from Yoongi’s hands. A cup of rice wine awaited underneath, capturing every drop of her blood. Their union, a pledge of loyalty through soul, blood, and mind.

Y/N met Yoongi’s eyes as she applied pressure to the hand holding the knife, slicing through his skin. A sadistic flicker seemed to pass through his eyes, as if he was enjoying the pain she was inflicting on him.

The rice wine now mixed with their blood and the heavy silence was driving Y/N mad.

The young Kkangpae lifted the cup to her lips, her eyes locked with Yoongi’s. Observing his actions closely, she followed suit, and he took a far bigger sip than her, almost devouring it all.

Setting the cup down they both extended their wounded hands. The golden wedding band that Yoongi slipped onto her finger, seemed to match her engagement ring that sat before it, closer to her knuckle. Y/N couldn’t stop looking at her hand. This was an explicit symbol of her being a taken woman now. No one else to touch, to have, and in their world — to own.

“Darling,” Yoongi whispered quietly, but still managed to keep the demand in his tone visible. Y/N shook her head to get herself to think straight again, realising she had lingered too long on the rings, delaying the public ceremony’s final step.

Huffing out collected air, she slipped the wedding band onto Yoongi’s finger, uniting them.

The monk placed a thick crimson ribbon over their hands, proclaiming them man and wife. No vows echoed like in the far west, no intimate encounters within the public ceremony, despite Yoongi’s yearning to press his lips against hers.

Y/N knew very well that her father scoffed and cursed at the young leader yet again for choosing to follow his wedding traditions and not theirs. And ultimately, there was no paying respect to the elders.

Kkangpae does not bow down to anyone. Nor will his new bride.

Y/N was especially glad she does not have to do that nor the tea ceremony she always found dull. Not that she particularly enjoyed being controlled and swept by the demands of Yoongi’s clan.

The monk’s chants grew louder again, filling the temple with an eerie resonance. Y/N and Yoongi turned to face the gathered members of their syndicates, their families, and the underworld elite who had come to witness this union.

The banquet that followed was a lavish affair as is fit for the Min clan. The tables groaned under the weight of sumptuous dishes, and the air filled with the tantalizing aroma of delicacies prepared by the finest chefs. Nonetheless, Y/N could sense the atmosphere that was charged with tension. As if everyone was prepared to cast guns and kill each other.

Y/N felt the weight of her father’s glare before she could see him eye to eye. Her mimicry has shown nothing more but pure disgust when Wang Zemo shook the scarred leader’s hand congratulating them on their marriage. Y/N did not trust her father. His judgment was always clouded by power.

“You do not seem pleased, father,” Y/N remarked, exposing him. Her mother nervously laughed, hoping to prevent a disturbance between the two clans. She eyed him, expecting an answer from him.

“I’m not pleased that your husband allowed you to be kidnapped,” he retorted, making Yoongi squeeze Y/N’s hip, a possessive gesture.

“But he aided a rescue team in no time, daddy. Meanwhile, you could not even keep me at home,” Y/N fired back, laughing in her father’s face, not believing her own words defended the young Kkangpae that was now amusingly smirking next to her. She could see how her father’s brows furrowed and eyes narrowed, fuming at his daughter. Y/N can do that now, she does not owe her father loyalty anymore.

Her mother stopped him before he could raise his hand causing commotion within the two clans, instead he lifted his free arm pointing a warning finger at her. Y/N smiled sweetly and watched her mother pull his arm until he walked with her. Only when he was far away did she ask her new husband.

“Did he give you trouble when you asked for Xiaoli’s hand in marriage on behalf of Taehyung?” The young leader only hummed in response, his eyes were focused on something different from her now, and Y/N could not help but turn her head in the same direction as he was looking.

What unsettled her the most was the presence of Yamamotos. Yoongi nor anyone did not mention single tweet about these poisonous guests. Therefore, she felt her stomach rotate when they were approaching and for the first time in forever, Y/N pressed herself closer to Yoongi, intertwining their fingers together.

Of course, she feared them. She always viewed her father’s tactics and measures quite cruel. But if Wang Zemo was cruel than Yamamoto was brutal. And it was only natural to fear such a brutal syndicate as Yakuza.

“Congratulations, Min,” said the older male in Japanese. He did not bother to speak the tongue of his enemy’s territory, but he knew they would understand perfectly. The man had such a strong and intense aura around him. He ruled with fear, that thing was obvious.

He held his hand to Yoongi who accepted it for both your and his behalf, shaking it with firm grip, piercing his eyes alongside.

“You got yourself a fine woman, Min, —” he leered at Y/N, his gaze filled with hunger. A wave of disgust washed over her.

“She has caused you quite a bit of trouble, has she not?” he continued, finishing his remark. Y/N understood that their marriage was a calculated move that would redefine the power dynamics within the criminal underworld. Whether Yamamoto perceived the Mins as a threat remained an assumption on her part.

“Not as much trouble as you sending that foolish boy to his death,” Yoongi added, causing Y/N’s breath to hitch. Slowly, her eyes lifted to Yoongi, whose gaze now held an intensity that made the scar glow with anger. Y/N did not understand any bit of it. Had he not come willingly? No, that simply cannot be, there had to be an ulterior motive to commit such a sin.

“Certainly, we knew you would handle him and your bride just as you saw fit.”

“Surely, —” Yoongi replied with a dark undertone and a sinister smile. A wave of nausea rolled through Y/N. If they lingered in the presence of the Japanese Yakuza any longer, she might empty her stomach right there. Thankfully, they bid a seemingly cordial farewell, leaving to take their seats behind the tables and Y/N could at least breathe out.

“Yoongi—” she began once they were out of earshot. He cast her a brief glance before pivoting to examine her, noting her even paler face.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” she stumbled the words out of her system fast. Y/N released Yoongi’s hand to cover her mouth.

“Oh God,” her sister’s whisper reached her ears, a reminder of their public setting, alerting her that she is still in public, and the eyes will pry.

Y/N swiftly walked — not ran, to avoid drawing attention — towards the nearest door leading outside to the cold. Once in the cold air again, she emptied her stomach.

“It’s okay,” Y/N heard her sister’s voice yet again, just before her hands were soothingly rubbing her back. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe the cold air in. She was grateful it was her sister offering comfort, not the groom. At least Xiaoli realized that Y/N wouldn’t want Yoongi to see her now. Nor any other prying eyes.

“It’s not okay, Xiaoli,” said Y/N through tears, feeling a profound, heart-wrenching anxiety and fear settling in her core.

“They fucking sent him to rape me, and God knows what else.”

“And he did not manage to do that. Hoseok took care of that. Jungkook took care of that, —”

Y/N recalled, her mind flashing to Jungkook storming into her room, his concern evident as he bombarded her with questions about her well-being. Guilt weighed on him for getting entangled with Chan-yeol instead of going straight to her. As her new brother, he felt an obligation to protect her, just like Hoseok, who would go to any lengths for her.

And that leaves Y/N to wonder. She pondered the sincerity behind their sympathy. Was it because of her supposed relationship with their brother, or was there a genuine connection forming? For a fleeting moment, she wondered if her aunt sensed the potential for them to become family, to be her home.

“—Leader Min will see to it that he is brought to justice,” Xiaoli continued, always sure to express her love for Yoongi.

Y/N looked down at her stained dress with a sense of pity, both for herself and the situation. A deep sense of sadness remained.

“I just wish it did not have to be this way,” she confessed, her voice filled with sorrow. “I wish I could have chosen this path for myself, rather than having it forced upon me.”

“But this is not the world or lifetime where you could do that,” her sister replied, and for a brief moment, Y/N felt a glimmer of understanding.

“I know,” she whispered quietly. “He used to be my friend; you know. Despite what he did, I never thought he would die in front of my eyes, —” her words held honesty, tinged with something else.

“And I never thought that I would be relieved they came in time and shot him dead, Xiaoli,” Y/N admitted, finally getting it off her chest.

“Taehyung-oppa said they paid him to do it.” Xiaoli disclosed. Y/N dreaded this scenario; she suspected that Chen did not act out of love for her. No one who loved someone would commit such a horrendous act.

Y/N scoffed, a desperate laugh escaping her. “Do you know what will happen to Chan-yeol?” She hadn’t had the chance to discuss this with Yoongi, leaving her in the dark and feeling consumed by it.

“He is held captive. That is all I know,” Xiaoli replied while helping Y/N stand. She needed to change her dress; there was no way she could return in this state.

“Y/N?” Xiaoli asked. Her older sister only hummed in response.

“If you attempt to run ever again, Daiyu is going to die—” Y/N paused for a moment.

“—He won’t hurt me, I’ll be betrothed to Taehyung-oppa. But Daiyu is still in the open.”

“Did you talk to her?” She asked.

“No,” Xiaoli replied, “but I talked to Kkangpae Min. He confirmed his intentions.”

“And it did not move you one bit?” Said Y/N surprised with what degree of calmness her sister is speaking of this.

Yoongi wanted to make it abundantly clear that he would take drastic measures if she attempted to escape again. He wanted her to fear the consequences, to be consumed by the dread of what might happen if she defied him; deliberately informing Xiaoli, knowing the bond between the sisters was a weak point for Y/N.

“I would not dare to go against his word.” Y/N only smiled sadly at her sister’s words. She does not understand. How could she?

The way to her chamber felt endless. Y/N was acutely aware of her disheveled state and the need for privacy. Another set of footsteps behind her and Xiaoli quickened her heart with anxiety.

“Y/N?” The soothing voice of the doctor, Seokjin, reached her ears, and she could not have been more relieved. Without turning around, she responded.

“I just need to change. I’m fine, Seokjin.”

Y/N wasted no time in stepping inside her room once they finally reached it. Seokjin followed, his demeanour calm and professional, yet she sensed a hint of concern in his eyes.

As she began changing out of the crimson robe from the wedding ceremony, Y/N couldn’t deny the unease that lingered within her.

“You can tell him I will be back in a little while, Seokjin.” Y/N turned to Seokjin, offering a weak smile.

“Are you sure you are feeling well?” Seokjin nodded; his expression was gentle.

“It’s just the anxiety.” Said Y/N. Her face still bore the traces of tears and turmoil, but she resolved to face the celebration with as much grace as she could muster. She knew that in the world she inhabited, appearances were everything.

Seokjin stood by the door, waiting patiently. “I’ll change and come right away,” she promised to the older male.

“Very well,” he answered simply and closed the door behind him leaving her and Xiaoli alone.

The intricate layers of fabric and silk were carefully removed, revealing a simpler, yet equally elegant, hanfu beneath — this one was a shade of soft lavender.

“Do you want to wear the hanbok instead?” Xiaoli asked. Does she? Just this morning, she insisted that her wedding dress will be a representation of the culture she is coming from. Looking over at the beautiful crimson and royal blue hanbok that she was supposed to wear as her wedding dress, Y/N hesitated.

“I don’t feel like wearing a wedding dress anymore, Xiaoli.” Her sister nodded in understanding, but beneath her supportive gaze, there lingered a hint of disappointment. Xiaoli had hoped that Y/N would fully embrace the culture of the Min clan, a desire likely shared by the clan’s leader. However, Y/N’s desire was to stay true to her Chinese roots for a little bit longer. If this is the only way she can remain herself, she is willing to rebel against him as long as she can.

She heard her sister sigh as she handed her the crimson flowery qipao. “You could at least meet him in the middle.” Xiaoli muttered, her disappointment evident.

“Xiaoli, if you did not notice I’m having a really bad day today.” Y/N’s patience was wearing thin. She had endured enough turmoil for one day, and the idea of appeasing Yoongi’s wishes no longer held much appeal.

“I understand—” Xiaoli wanted to say before Y/N interrupted her with the welling tears in her eyes and raised voice.

“No, you do not understand, Xiaoli!” Said Y/N, sliding down to a lower cushion chair, hugging her head with her small hands.

“But you are not even trying, Y/N,” Xiaoli retorted.

“Because I’m gasping for air every single time! I’m drowning, and yet I cannot learn to swim—” she cried out, clutching the fabric of her hanfu to the point she feared it would tear.

“All of you are blindly trying to convince me that this is the best that could ever happen to me—” she continued.

“—like you’re some kind of Gods that shall decide one’s fate.”

Xiaoli sighed, her frustration and discomfort evident. “All we do is care for you, truly, madly, deeply.”

Y/N looked up, her eyes filled with a mixture of despair and defiance.

“Are you listening to yourself, sister?!” Y/N did not even give her a chance to answer.

“—We are family, by blood, Xiaoli, I thought you cared about me to be more than just a pawn—” this time Xiaoli interrupted her older sister.

“And because we are family, I am trying to protect what matters to all of us.” Xiaoli knelt beside her, trying to console Y/N.

“What about what matters to me?” Y/N retorted; her voice shaky. “What about my dreams, my choices? He took that from me.”

Xiaoli hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “We all have to make sacrifices. And I know that you will make the best out of this.”

Y/N looked at her sister, a mix of disbelief and sadness in her eyes. “Is this the price of my freedom?”

“If this was another life, you could have what you truly desire.” Said Xiaoli. Y/N wiped away her tears before she spoke.

“I won’t let—” Y/N inquired.

“The consequences will be severe.” Said Xiaoli before Y/N could utter her thought as if she knew what she wanted to say.

“Remember that before you will do anything.”

The distant strains of music and laughter reached their ears when Xiaoli opened the door, walking through it in the direction of the celebration. Y/N put on a mask of composure, her posture regal, and her expression neutral. She couldn’t let anyone see the turmoil within her. Tonight, she would play the role expected of her, all while strategizing her next moves in this complex and dangerous game.

“Min Buin?!” a voice called out, unfamiliar and tinged with a strange mixture of reverence and unease — it sent a shiver down her spine.

A man stood right in the middle of the hall behind her. He was dressed in a dark, tailored suit that exuded authority, a stark departure from the opulence of the occasion.

Y/N couldn’t help but wonder who this enigmatic figure was and why he had singled her out with that title,

“Min Buin?!” He repeated again. Y/N turned her head slightly to Xiaoli, now a few steps closer to the banquet, her expression wary.

“Who’s asking?” she demanded, a hint of protectiveness in her voice. The man did not seem to be perturbed by Y/N’s defensive stance. Instead, he offered a faint, cryptic smile.

“Do you not know?” His tone took a different direction. He stepped closer to them.

“Y/N,” Xiaoli gulped down, her voice trembling. “That is Yamamoto Itsuki.” By how her sister spoke Y/N understood that this is the very man she was supposed to marry.

“Go.” She whispered to her sister who did not hesitate to run down the corridor and alert anyone. Only once Y/N was sure that her sister was far away did she speak.

“What is your business with me?” Y/N asked, her voice steady despite the turmoil within her. The man’s smile widened slightly, revealing teeth that seemed unnaturally sharp in the dim light.

“Business?” He laughed. Y/N’s mind raced as she absorbed his words. She had been thrust into this world, initially a pawn in a dangerous game, but now it seemed that her role was evolving.

“I have unfinished business with you, yes.” He said after a few silent moments. Only her heavy breathing could be heard.

“I’m very much sure that a business between us never started in the first place; therefore, it seems to me we have nothing to talk about,” said Y/N, swiftly turning her body back to its original position, ready to flee to the banquet and seek help.

As she predicted, this day could only get worse as she found herself pinned to the nearest wall. Y/N could feel his breath on her face, a strong large hand enveloped her throat, pressing her to the wall harder and making it hard to breathe. Y/N’s breathing skipped intervals.

“You are one greedy ungrateful little bitch, are you not?” He spat the words into her face, squeezing her neck even tighter. Her hands automatically rose to his arm, trying to push him away. Her head started to spin, and she could feel the redness that rushed to her cheeks as she gasped for air that would fill her lungs.

“You were supposed to be mine!” His scream echoed in the empty corridor. Out of all the endings of her life, she truly did not foresee this one. There was a strike of a quick moment where she thought that death would be her redemption and eternal freedom she wished for. However, Y/N still had the will to fight for her life. She dug her nails into his arm, trying to push his hand away one more time, but he was too strong.

A click of a reloading gun seemed too muffled for her ears to notice, but when the sudden absence of pressure on her throat disappeared, and she could finally welcome the air in, she thanked God for being still in his favour.

Her knees have denounced their service, and she found herself on the ground. She went to touch her sore throat when a familiar hand did it before her. Y/N’s breath was still rocky, and she heard an annoying ringing in her ears. She barely could hear what Yoongi was screaming at the man who was recently near killing her.

“Y/N?” She heard Jimin’s voice, but she could not figure out where it was coming from. Her head was spinning like a carousel, and her vision was still a bit blurry. She wanted to speak up but she found it hard to do so.

“Can you breathe for me, darling?” She tried to stabilize her breathing but couldn’t stop panting for air.

“You have to try and calm down.” Seokjin was speaking to her, and by her blurry vision she saw another four figures around her. Two holding the younger Yamamoto for Yoongi, the other two attending to her.

Y/N went to try to speak again, even though she was fully aware that only high-pitched tones would come out that would make her words unrecognisable.

“I—” she tried, “I want—” she finally gulped down the little amount of saliva she had in her mouth.

“Bring her water right now.” Seokjin understood quickly. Her hearing was coming back to life and same for her vision. She could now see Jungkook and Hoseok dragging the man away from them, and Yoongi swiftly turning to examine the damage the man had done to his beloved.

By the time he fell down to his knees, cupping her cheeks, trying to read from her eyes, Jimin had returned with the water she needed. Yoongi helped her to hold the glass in both of her hands and drink it whole in one go.

“I do not want to stay here tonight,” she said with a raspy voice, feeling every muscle in her throat. Yoongi looked at her with worry in his eyes. He promised she would be safe with him, and within less than twelve hours, she was abducted, almost raped, and nearly choked to death.

“I am so sorry, baby,” said the young leader with remorse. “I am going to make it better, I promise.” Y/N’s ‘better’ however, contained something else than his ‘better’.

“We cannot leave right away—” tears escaped her eyes, falling heavy and hot on her dress. Yoongi was the Kkangpae and the enemy’s clan member just assaulted his wife. This cannot slip out without consequences.

“How dare you disrespect me and my wife this way,” said Yoongi to the older male from Yamamoto’s clan who had barely sat down in Yoongi’s office.

The younger offender, who had laid his hand on Y/N, was still firmly held by Hoseok and Jungkook. She sat in Yoongi’s office chair, a blanket draped over her shoulders, the purple bruises on her neck stark against her skin, certainly not flattering jewelry.

“How dare you disrespect our clan, Kkangpae Min.” The older male retorted, testing the younger leader’s patience. Yoongi clenched his hand into a fist, struggling to maintain control.

“This is far too unforgivable against what you assume I did,” he spat out quickly. Y/N wished she could just hide away and never come back, but as the Kkangpae’s wife, a Buin, she had to be present.

Yamamoto scoffed. “You are playing the game dirty, so are we—”

“Take this as a payback for meddling in our affairs, Kkangpae Min—” the older male started.

“And as far as traditions goes, she is yet to be your woman by our law and God’s will,” alluding to the inevitable — they had to consummate the marriage. Y/N knew this and had been making peace with the fact throughout the day.

“You won’t have to worry about that, Mr. Yamamoto,” Yoongi was always known for his cockiness whilst dealing with enemies, but he was also the most cautious man alive, however today was a misstep he did not wish to ever make. All this only proved he could not leave her alone — not because she might flee, but because someone could take her away from him. And he would never let her go.

“Watch me fucking continue meddling—” Yoongi retorted. “I see that you know the goddamn rules; I shall have his hand.” Y/N’s eyes widened in shock. She did not expect him to go unpunished for what he did to her, which would make Yoongi look unfit to rule. Itsuki started to squirm in their hold, attempting to break free.

“You want a war?” Yamamoto asked with venom in his voice.

“You apparently desire to have it when you assaulted my wife twice in one day.” Yoongi spat and signaled to Hoseok to bring Itsuki forward. Jungkook grabbed the hand that had been on Y/N’s neck less than an hour ago.

“Father!” Itsuki screamed with madness in his voice.

“Here you have it, you impatient imbecile!” his father screamed back at him, frustrated with both himself and his son. The plan had been to warn the Mins, not infuriate them.

Y/N watched Yoongi wordlessly as he took a short katana from Namjoon who appeared out of nowhere. The blade was sharp as a viper’s fang, and it gleamed in the dim light sourcing from the fireplace. The hilt, wrapped in silk, the colour of dried blood, felt cool and ominous in Yoongi’s hand.

She knew he’d have to swing it more than once to actually cut off Itsuki’s hand. Y/N gulped down her fear, pressing both hands to her mouth to stifle the scream that escaped when he first wielded the blade, piercing through Itsuki’s skin and colliding with bone, breaking it open. Burgundy blood streamed down to the wooden floor. Y/N clenched her eyes shut at the painful scream that followed and bounced slightly on the chair at the loud thump of the hand hitting the ground.

“You have one hour to leave our land,��� Yoongi declared, aiming the katana at the leading Yamamoto. The son dropped to the ground, cradling his arm, staring at the severed hand and screaming in pain, muttering threats to the Min clan.

“You chose.” The older male looked over to Y/N who was still very much speechless and in utter shock from what occurred before her eyes. Yoongi’s gaze, momentarily lingering on his wife with furrowed brows, but quickly returned to Yamamoto. Their eyes locked, and the older man extended his hand to retrieve his injured son from the floor, leading him out of the room.

Yoongi dropped the katana onto the ground, tilting his head backwards in a brief prayer to the Lord. The room remained cloaked in heavy silence — not a peaceful silence, but one pregnant with the weight of a grim decision. A choice had been made, and its consequences were bound to unfold in darkness. This was a proclamation of war.

Y/N’s eyes remained fixed on the spot where Yamamoto’s hand was laying limp in a pool of fresh blood. As Yoongi straightened and turned his gaze toward her, his eyes were a tempest of conflicting emotions.

“You chose.”

Yoongi echoed Yamamoto’s words more as a question, his voice carrying a low, sombre resignation. He did not demand an answer; he knew what Yamamoto was talking about. Glancing down at his black shoes, now soaked with the blood of his enemy, Yoongi let out a soft laugh at the irony of her choosing him.

He understood the possibility that her choice might stem from self-preservation, realizing he could annihilate her entire family the moment she disappeared. Yet, his own selfishness shielded him from that harsh reality. Yoongi desperately wanted to believe that she returned to him and him alone.

Her eyes grew too heavy to stay open during the car ride back to the sanctuary. She allowed them a brief respite, letting the weight of exhaustion pull her into a momentary rest. The events of this day had been like a tempest, tearing through the delicate fabric of her reality and leaving chaos in its wake.

Y/N’s strength was something Yoongi admired, yet even he recognized the toll this day had taken on her. The hypocrite in him thinking that kind of evil will lead her to seek solace in him, perhaps finding that this was where she truly belonged — by his side.

She could have turned and run when the chance presented itself, disappearing into the wild. But she did not, and that is what mattered to Yoongi. For the first time, Y/N found herself yearning to return to the sanctuary, back to her golden cage.

Y/N knew that this night would be a reflection of the complexities of their relationship, a dance between desire and the darkness that surrounded them. Y/N understood that despite the arduous day, this had to be done. Bracing herself, she stepped out of the car and into the dark.

She walked slightly behind her now husband, letting him lead the way to the house she did not quite recognise. Before she mustered the courage to ask questions, he spoke first.

“I grew up in this house—” he whispered into the cold air, “a hot spring is right behind it.”

Y/N observed the house built into the massive stone walls of the valley, surrounded by tall pine trees. It was too dark for her to see just how tall they actually are, but the little flickering lights visible through the windows granted her a little peak.

“I want to spend tonight with you here,” he turned to face her. Yoongi could not tear his gaze away from her, adoring every detail—her eyes, cheeks, nose, hair, mouth. But if you would ask him, how did he come to be so obsessed with her, he would not give a cohesive answer. The inexplicable obsession he felt seemed right, like two puzzle pieces fitting together. He believed that even if she did not feel it now, she would eventually.

“Just the two of us.”

He took a little step to be closer to her. If Y/N understood correctly, this is the only place where they can be truly alone without prying eyes and ears. Yoongi wanted to talk and what’s more, he intended to do more than just talk tonight.

“Aight,” she replied slowly with her still sore throat. He had never seen her this calm, and he wanted to enjoy every minute she is not fighting against him — despite the disturbing circumstances that led to her current state of mind.

“Can we have some tea first?” she asked with little hope that he would agree to slow down a little bit. He chuckled at her sudden innocence and extended his arm to caress her cheek.

“Course we can, my love,” he smiled softly.

And so, they found themselves once again by the comforting embrace of a fireplace, patiently waiting for the tea to brew in the teapot’s gentle whistle.

There was something about this scenery that Yoongi could not help but love. Y/N, seated on the fur rug next to the warmth of the crackling flames, found solace in these quiet moments. After the tumultuous events of the day, it was a sanctuary they both needed. At least, she felt at peace in moments like these.

“I am sorry.” he suddenly confessed, his eyes revealing the genuine sorrow within. Today had left Yoongi conflicted, riding the highs of marrying the woman he desired while being weighed down by guilt for the day’s events.

Y/N met his gaze, her voice devoid of emotion as she calmly asked, “About what exact part?”

“All of it,” he shook his head. Y/N chuckled, and confusion flickered in Yoongi’s eyes.

“Are you not going to punish me, Kkangpae?” Here she goes.

“I do desire to know your relation to the boy, I won’t lie, but no.”

“There is no relation.”

“Are you sure? We talked about this already — no lies.”

“I’m not lying, he did fancy me, yes—” Yoongi’s grip on his hands tightened.

“—I thought we were friends, but he was not keen to flee away with me when I needed to,” she admitted.

“Do you mourn him?” Yoongi’s voice held a serious tone.

“I mourn the boy he was, not what he apparently became after we parted—” she began, carefully, collecting her thoughts.

“—they paid him to go and attempt rape me, Yoongi. I pray for his soul to find its peace after what sins he committed,” a tear escaped her eye, a sob followed. Yoongi leaned in, holding her small hands in an attempt to provide comfort.

“It was horrible,” she cried out and finally, she opened up to him.

“Amidst all the bad today, I’m so proud of you—” Y/N raised her blurry eyesight to meet him, awaiting an explanation.

“—You could have run, and you did not. You chose to come back to me.”

“I promise, I swear to you — I will never ever let that happen again—” he assured, moving closer to her.

She took a deep breath, summoning the courage to address the yet unspoken. “Can I get the letter, please?” Y/N whispered.

“In the morning.” He answered, intending to prolong it to ensure her continued good behaviour and obedience.

“Do we?-” She interrupted, praying for a change of his mind, though fully aware of the inevitability. He needed to ensure no loopholes in their marriage for others to exploit or for her to negotiate over. She knows this is mandatory.

“Yes, we do,” he acknowledged after some thought. Knowing what she had been through that day, he recognised the potential impact, but he also saw it as a way to fully claim her. It was a selfish desire, perhaps, but one he had long awaited. 

Yoongi longed to feel her skin to skin. It was indeed selfish, he knew that much. Some would say it is careless of him to demand such an intimate act to happen after all she has been through. But he wanted to show her that this is a part of their marriage she can truly enjoy. Yoongi wanted to give a final full stop to their relationship by solidifying the union rightfully, as the tradition goes.

The flickering flames of the fireplace danced in the dimly lit room, casting a warm glow upon Y/N and Yoongi. Consummating the marriage was a private but necessary measure.

His selfishness had not gone unnoticed by the syndicate elders, who questioned his insistence on not just any hotel room but the house where generations of memories had been created. He deliberately wanted to spend the night in the house he grew up in, where his father started a family, and his grandfather, and his grandfather and so on down the history line.

Yoongi, having lost his parents at a young age, yearned to start his own family. He wanted to witness the growth of his children, their marriages, and their own families.

Y/N knew this day would come, sooner or later, and as a young woman, she had learnt to protect herself from unplanned consequences. She understood his desire for a child, though he never explicitly discussed it with her. But she was far from being ready to surrender to the life fate had planned for her, not just yet.

Heaven had given her a sign, a slight hope when she found a particular herb in the garden before the first snow fell. Y/N had kept it discreet, asking the maid to dry the flowers and serve them as tea in the morning. Tonight, she was calm, knowing it could not happen, even if he wished otherwise.

Yoongi observed her hesitance, her eyes reflecting a mixture of fear and resilience. The room, with its walls that held generations of memories, seemed to echo with the weight of tradition and expectation. But as he reached out to touch her cheek gently, his eyes softened.

The sharp sound of a loud whistle from the tea kettle startled them both, tearing them out of the cocoon of their thoughts. The iron kettle hung gracefully over the open flame, steam rising in wisps as if trying to escape the weight of the night. Yoongi carefully prepared the tea, his movements deliberate and unhurried. The aroma of freshly brewed leaves filled the air. The porcelain teapot, an heirloom passed down through generations, sat patiently on the wooden small table that was next to them. As he poured the tea into delicate cups, he eyed her small physique yet again, searching for any signs.

She accepted the cup he offered her, the warmth seeping through the delicate porcelain. Her mind briefly paused when she recognised the familiar scent. She chuckled and Yoongi raised his eyebrows in surprise, awaiting her words. Y/N took a few careful sips from the cup, accepting what it offered.

“Are you afraid, Kkangpae?” She asked, taking another sip. Yoongi put his cup on the wooden table and looked directly in her eyes.

“Me? No,” he pointed at himself, hiding a smile.

“So why did you choose to make tea from Valerian root?” Her studies that surely included herbalism had escaped Yoongi’s mind.

“I knew this night would be difficult for you, and I — I wanted to ensure it went as smoothly as possible,” he confessed.

“Considerate,” she muttered, more to herself than to him. Yoongi’s gaze faltered, and he looked away momentarily.

“I want you to enjoy it—”

“Then make me enjoy it,” she interrupted him yet again, gulping down the contents of her cup, setting it down with a gentle clink next to his almost full one.

“I intend to,” he said. The complexities of tradition, the weight of the syndicate expectations, seemed to press down on them like the heavy beams of the hanok. Yet, he was thrilled at the prospect of laying her down and making love to her, while she tried to make peace with the path ahead.

A mixture of emotions played across Y/N’s face, the tension in the air made her anxious. The tea flowed in her system, calming her. The steps were set, and she cannot back down now.

His hands cradled her face, a gesture that held both tenderness and an unspoken understanding. But Y/N knows he will never understand. And thus, the night unfolded.

The hanok, with its wooden beams and paper windows, seemed to breathe with the rhythm of their footsteps. The aroma of tea still lingered within the walls, all the way back in the house.

“Pray with me?” a soft plea that resonated with the hallowed surroundings. They settled on top of the low cushion bed; he held both her hands in his. The subtle sounds of the valley outside, muffled by the hanji-covered windows, crackling fire nearby — the low hum of their shared prayer filled the room, blending with the whispers of the winter wind outside.

As they concluded their prayers, the world outside the hanok continued its silent ballet with nature. Yoongi slowly let her hands fall into her lap. Y/N kept looking at her hands, biting her lower lip.

He extended his hands pulling out the golden pins from her hair, releasing them.

“You are magnificent,” he whispered into her lips that were anticipating his. She looked into his eyes one last time before she slowly closed them, awaiting him to take the first step. Y/N could feel both his hands on the swell of her bottom, slightly squeezing it and thus making her pant into his mouth. He pulled her into his lap, not distancing their close proximity. Not now. Not ever.

A deep groan released from his throat when she fully sat down in his lap. Y/N was straddling him, feeling his stiff manhood tightly pressed against her core making her breath hitch. He moved his hand from its place on her butt cheek to the swell of her clothed breast.

“Let me make love to you.” He kissed her lips very gently, waiting for her response. She knew he would do so even if she would not give him her consent. And once she shyly nodded her head, he dove right in and kissed her very deeply, slipping his tongue into her mouth. He was hungry and only she could sate him.

He continued to press himself against her core, creating at least some friction in between, aiming to hit the right spot and make her sing for him.

Yoongi was trying to trace down the opening of her qipao, feeling the delicately made buttons on her chest. Not for a moment he stopped kissing her, unbuttoning her dress and hiking it up from its hem on her thighs, showing her undergarments and pulling it all the way up her head —throwing the peace of clothing that provided her warmth, perhaps even a security blanket, away.

Her neck was his next target. He bent his head making hers to lean back to allow him access. Yoongi layered down butterfly kisses all over her, now, naked, bruised neckline. “You are such a good girl.” He muttered into her skin, caressing her bottom while he placed his hand back to her right breast.

Y/N could feel her nipples stiffen under the change of temperature, or perhaps the excitement her body was going through, which she did not want to admit. He took one of her hands who were inactive till now and placed it on his chest near the small buttons of his shirt. Trying to send a mental message for her to touch him too — undress him too.

Y/N took a shaky breath, trying to come to her senses. Out of this ectasis. But she could not. His work on her neck was becoming troublesome, not mentioning his roaming hands. She was never touched by man lovingly, but she could not deny that he is making her heart skip just by teasing her.

Her small shaky fingers finally reached to the buttons whilst he was abusing her chest with hot kisses. She unbuttoned the first one, then the second until she reached the last. “That’s it baby.” He encouraged her to continue slipping his shirt down from his body.

He straightened himself and looked deeply into her eyes, his voice filled with desire and longing. “I love you.” Said Yoongi when he slowly slid his hand in between them cupping her clothed heat. Millions of little butterflies erupted in her lower belly, her breath hitched, silent moan coming out of her swollen lips when he started to rub circles, moving her clitoris through the fabric. She could feel herself leaning into him, her body responding to his touch.

The room was filled with an intoxicating blend of desire and anticipation. He caressed her back until he reached the opening of her western style cone bra that she wore under the dress. Popping it open her eyes snapped open too. But the pleasure was overshadowing her sound judgment, and he knew she would at some point try to resent him a little, that’s why he did not hesitate to throw it the same direction as her qipao, not wasting time and taking her already hard nipple into his mouth. Her eyes widened; pupils dilated.

He was taking his sweet time loving her every inch before he laid her down on the bed, hovering above her. Dominating her. Yoongi’s hands moved with a gentle urgency, his kisses becoming more fervent as their passion ignited. He hooked his fingers into her undergarments, not giving her a chance to protest when he quickly pulled them down her legs, tepid air hitting her centre.

It’s when he went to spread her legs touching her knees she took his wrist into her small hand, looking deep down into his eyes, tears swelling in, realisation hitting her. Yoongi did not seem to be angry or displeased. He understood why this action triggered her and therefore he led her hands to his belt, giving her a chance to yet again give him her consent to proceed. He wanted her to fall in love with him, not to fear him. He dreaded the day when he will have to use different measures to convince, she is his woman and no one else can touch her.

The little rat was a big mistake. Yoongi did not expect him to go as far as to attempt to rape her. But he knew that the boy was coming. He knew it’s Yakuza’s move, and he knew when they would strike,and he was ready. What he wasn’t ready for was Chan-yeol’s betrayal. Nobody is betraying Kkangpae Min, nor no one will dare to touch his wife after what he will do to the traitor.

“You’re alright, baby.” He attempted to assure her, putting her small hands on his belt. Y/N’s fingers were yet again shaking when she was undoing his belt. She was now fully aware of her laying naked body. She could feel the goosebumps forming on her skin.

As Yoongi’s belt came undone, he couldn’t help but marvel at the strength and resilience that radiated from her. She had endured so much in such a short span of time, yet here she was, willingly surrendering herself to him.

He pulled down the pants, together with his undergarments. A loud thud followed once they fell down to the floor. He bent down to her belly and placed a small kiss just below her belly button and one slightly lower to her yet uninhabited womb.

“I need to help you relax your muscles a little.” Said he. She felt his hot breath on her inner thighs, shaking in his hold. He slid his hand down to her core yet again, touching her without any barrier for the first time. Y/N took a deep breath and another one when he slid his finger down her folds and up, making her pussy produce wet juices. His lips were on her collarbone when he unexpectedly slid his index finger inside her making her moan loudly, yelp even.

“Shhh…” He cooked at her, kissing her lips passionately, while thrusting his finger slowly in and out of her heat. She could feel a prick of pain in the area Yoongi’s finger occupied. Y/N’s moans became a mix of moderate pain and pleasure altogether.

She could feel his other hand move away from caressing her hip to his member which he started to slowly stroke. Y/N could see that he was more than ready — his cock big, stiff and red, pre-cum leaking from its tip. He wanted to dive into her heat badly. But he needed to stretch her out a little more, so she won’t suffer that much pain. Yoongi smiled when he spotted her eyeing his body through half-lidded eyes, panting, yet being focused specifically on his manhood.

He towered above her, pulling his finger out of her heat. Sudden emptiness surrounded her walls that were finally adjusting to the intruder. She gasped when she felt his hands pulling her closer to him. Her legs were on each side of his hips. Y/N observed his body, his toned skin, slight muscles, his well-built torso — all the way down his V line, adorned with soft hair.

She snapped out of her thought train once he climbed on top of her and pressed his manhood in between her folds, sliding it up and down, covering it in her juices. Moan escaped her mouth once he put a little bit of pressure, stimulating her clitoris. He moved his hips slowly, trying to hold himself to not to thrust it in just yet.

He raised his left hand and intertwined his fingers with hers pinning it above her head while attacking her lips again. Y/N’s hand instinctively slapped his chest trying to push him away just a little, but his little smirk into her lips assured her that he wanted that kind of reaction from her.

And when she awaited it the least, he thrust himself into her, making her bite down his lower lip. He groaned at the sensation. His lip was bleeding, but he could not care less. “No—” She let go of his lip and an incoherent sound came out of her throat, eyes welling up with tears.

“Yoongi, it hurts too much.” She stated the obvious, crying whilst trying to breath. Enormous heat wave just hit her, and she was desperately wanting to make her head stop spinning.

“I know, baby. I know.” He whispered into her lips, trying to take his own breathing under control. She feels like heaven to him. His everlasting home. His love. This is where he was supposed to be all his life.

He tried to move very slowly, making her cry even more, but he couldn't stop. “It will stop I promise.” He kissed her tears away, stretching her walls to the fullest with his manhood. Silently moaning into her lips.

It took quite a while for her to adjust to the stretch and tension, fullness inside of her. Yoongi explored every inch of her naked body, his hands caressing her with a gentleness that belied his previous actions. In this moment, she was not defined by the traumas of her past or the expectations of their marriage. Their bodies moved in perfect sync once the pain yielded a little.

The room was filled with the sounds of their mingled loud moans and the crackling of the fire. The warmth of the fireplace mirrored the growing heat between them, intensifying the pleasure that coursed through their veins.

Yoongi’s movements became a little faster, more deliberate to draw as much pleasure from her as he could. He wanted to show her that their union was not solely physical but a one of love. With each whisper of reassurance and each gentle caress, he aimed to erase any lingering fears and insecurities that she held.

His thrusts were becoming sloppy after a while, he could feel her shaking against him. But not from fear but from pleasure. He mustered what he could to take her over the edge for the very first time in her life. Y/N could feel the butterflies in her stomach tying somewhat knot that she wanted them to release badly. Her hand slipped into his hair, tucking it tightly whilst he was thrusting into her heat, making her moan loudly into his mouth. He was very close, but he wanted her to come with her. And as they were reaching the peak of passion, their bodies trembling with pleasure, Yoongi held Y/N close, their hearts beating in sync.

Their moans became louder and louder every second they were nearing the summit. “Yoongi—!” she screamed his name out when she was sure the knot was about to burst. “Baby—” he could not even finish a sentence he meant to say once she came undone under him, trembling from the pleasure, her mouth agape, eyes tightly closed — her walls still vibrating around him. Not even a second later his loud cry followed as he spilled thick ropes of cum inside of her. His eyes closed, and he was breathing heavily. When he opened his eyes, she was already looking at him, her mouth still slightly open as she was panting. Her eyes seemed glossy but so were his. He caressed the side of her thigh whilst gently kissing her swollen lips, whispering how much he loves her.

Slowly pulling out of her heat, substituting with his fingers plunging his cum mixed with hints for crimson blood, back into her heat he lowered his body yet again to her belly. Kissing where he assumed her womb was, he whispered a prayer.

“May the Lord bless us with a miracle.”

I N T E R L O G U E

The father’s rage reverberated in the confined space of the car. “You could not have just fucking waited, you little prick!” his frustration boiling over.

Still grappling with the pain of his missing arm, the one-handed son shot back defiantly, blood seeping through the bandages “You said everything would work out in our favour!”

The car they were sitting in was slowing down until it stopped altogether. The older male looked around in confusion. They were nowhere near the docks for their escape to Fukuoka.

“It would if you’d just shut your damn cock instincts, you stupid boy!” the Yakuza leader hissed, attempting to keep his anger in check.

Blinded by fury, he failed to notice the car taking a series of wrong turns, leading them into a desolate no man’s land. When the driver turned to face them, blood reached his ears.

“Kkangpae Min sends you good wishes on your journey to hell.”

to be continued

©pennyellee. please do not repost

author's note: f finally yall!!!!! as I already said this chapter was a lot, ain't gonna lie about that, but everything is going according to the plan so don't worry. This was my first smut in english and I'm so scared of yall's reaction... Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was an emotional roller-coaster to write, especially the implied non-con and smut after all the reader had to endure, poor gal. I love to see your comments that basically express that you understand the story's essence and for that I love you all so much ♥ We'll see what will happen in next chapter :))

shout-out to Bex, the queen @chaoticpuff17, for beta another chapter! Love you bae!!!!

Love you all!! ♥

Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥

keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction.

let's be friends chummers ♥

lots of love, 𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖞𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊

tag list: @beautifulcloudfestival - @chaoticpuff17 - @honsoolgloss - @jingerbreadoutofstock - @moscow778 - @januara26 - @dinosolecito - @yoongislatinagff - @xyahrinx - @hi12345567 - @nochuel - @deltamoon666 - @bbkissme99 - @darkuni63 - @nansasa - @sazsazsaz - @missmin - @strxwbloody - @royallyjjk - @jaiuneamesolitaiire - @shadowyjellyfishfest - @bbgniecyy - @elayne321 - @seojunandsoju - @bun-27 - @whipwhoops - @wobblewobble822 - @whofan88 - @haneyyyyyy - @lostgirlinthewoodss - @secfir - @btspurplesky - @elleflying07 - @pamzn - @megseungmin - @selenophileforlife - @idkjustlovingbts

[testyqwcde]

"Middle-earth's God wanted Sauron and Galadriel to meet because they were both in a slump."

Why Would Eru Let Galadriel and Sauron Meet?

Couldn't He foresee the destruction their meeting could cause to Middle Еarth? Perhaps, but the One does not operate by preventing evil outright. Instead, He allows even darkness to serve a greater design. That said, there may be several reasons why Galadriel and Sauron crossed paths.

1. They Were Each Other’s Temptation

When Sauron met Galadriel, he seemed to desire redemption or at least a new beginning. He sought purpose, perhaps even to channel his skill into creating rather than conquering. Working in the Numenorean forge was his genuine attempt to start anew.

But Galadriel, in her own pride saw him as a means to an end, to find Sauron and to perform justice. Instead of guiding him toward repentance, she challenged him, pushed him, tempted him with power without even knowing it. Her temptation provoked the shadow covering him once more.

In turn, Sauron offered her something even darker: to rule beside him as queen.

His temptation lingered, like a whisper echoing across the centuries. For both, the meeting revealed not just the other’s weakness but their own.

Both prideful, power thirsty as two sides of the same coin, they had the same starting point, almost naked, in the sea, stripped off their titles, just two of them on the raft in the vast sea, at the crossroads of their fate.

What is their heading?

They need to make a choice.

2. They Were Fulfilling Their Fate

Perhaps, in choosing to resist or give in to each other's temptation, they sealed their fate in grand Eru's design.

In my POV, Eru’s will is not always to prevent corruption but to reveal it so it can be cleansed. Just as the Great Flood was a divine judgment, perhaps Sauron’s rise was not merely a tragedy, but a test. His presence unmasked the true nature of elves, dwarves and men alike. The rings, gifted and taken, drew out the hidden rot in their hearts.

By meeting Galadriel and choosing power, Sauron catalyzed the conflict within Middle Earth itself. The world had to descend before it could rise. Only when the peoples of Middle Earth confronted not just Sauron, but the corruption within themselves, could true victory be won.

3. They Were Each Other’s Punishment

Galadriel and Sauron's actions in the First Age could not go unpunished. By the choices they made and the paths they followed in the Second Age, they did not escape judgment, they became each other’s punishment: Galadriel for her prideful rebellion against the Valar and Sauron for his service to Morgoth.

Imagine the torment of seeing in your enemy the only soul who understands your burden. They were reflections of each other’s flaws, mirrors of unfulfilled potential.

But Galadriel would never accept Sauron’s path and Sauron would never relinquish his ambition. And yet, each would carry the memory of the other. Their meeting became a wound, the one that would ache for centuries. Sauron, desperately groping her mind, Galadriel, echoing the words he told her thousand years ago.

That said, I don't see Eru micromanaging the threads of fate. He allows even evil to play a role in the music of the world. In Sauron and Galadriel, we see not just a meeting of adversaries but a meeting of mirrors, of fate, of divine purpose. It was a moment of reckoning.

[jomiddlemarch]

Everything but prudent

“This whole place belongs in a skip,” Marianne said darkly, pausing the scrub-brush she held clutched in her hand, the flagstones around her very slightly cleaner than when she had started, though it was hard to tell as there was a vast quantity of grey scummy water turning the stones dark, soaking Marianne’s jeans and trainers. The scarlet scarf she’d used to tie her bright chestnut hair back was still pristine as was her lip-gloss and Elinor made a great effort not to roll her eyes at the melodramatic scene Marianne had arranged for herself. All it needed was goldfinch to come through the open window and perch on Marianne’s shoulder, trilling a merry little melody. Marianne had refused the mop Elinor had suggested and Elinor was resigned to having to give the floor another going-over when Marianne decided it was clean enough.

“We’re lucky to have a place to stay,” Elinor reminded her. 

Lucky was an understatement. Elinor had started researching how much she could make selling her eggs, well before they’d come to Barton Cottage Inn where she could keep Lincolnshire Buffs to do the laying, and then, in what still felt like a miracle, their mum’s third cousin twice removed or whatever he was Jock Middleton, a successful hotelier who seemed equally fond of unprepossessing commercial properties and widowed distant relatives with dramatic daughters, had asked their mother whether she and her girls would be willing to make a go of the inn he’d bought at an auction nearly a decade ago and had forgotten about. Once they’d confirmed the inn had an intact roof to keep out the weather and at least one indoor lav, Elinor and her mother had leapt at the chance Jock offered, while Marianne took to melancholic swanning about their flat and making interminable cups of tea she never finished.

“You mean a place to work our fingers to the bone. To moulder away,” Marianne muttered. Elinor reminded herself Marianne was young and it was a wrench to have to give up on her plans to travel, the music course intensive she’d won a scholarship for which unfortunately only covered tuition, not living expenses in Vienna.

Elinor ignored the fact that she herself was only two years Marianne’s senior, had been forced to leave her highly-sought-after but poorly paid internship, and had been effectively abandoned by Teddy, who had stopped answering her calls without any explanation. She ignored it a little, anyway.

“I told you to wear rubber gloves,” Elinor said. “And the mouldering will get better once we have someone in to look at the electric—”

“Who’d come here, Ellie?” Marianne interrupted.

“Cousin Jock is footing the bill for the big repairs, I expect we’ll be able to get a service in shortly, and honestly, Marianne, you ought to hope lots of people want to come here and stay at the inn, otherwise even Jock’s generosity may run out and we’ll be out on our arses,” Elinor said.

“Elinor said arses, Elinor said arses,” Megan, their youngest sister, the one her mother had announced, after too much pinot grigio, had been an accident, but such a happy one, though your father did hope for a boy. Megan was a whirlwind, a cannonball, far too bright for her grammar school, impossible to homeschool, and exceptionally fine at distracting Elinor and Marianne from any real dispute.

“You’re tracking in God knows what, Megan—” Marianne exclaimed. Now she cared about the floor.

“Language, dear,” their mother said, having come in through the second set of stairs, the servants’ stairs, Elinor supposed, ones she and her sisters ought to get used to using. It was hard to consider wearing uniforms, but maybe Marianne would enjoy finding some signature print fabric they could make into scarves and throw pillows, something cottage-y, English country garden. Something that would not show the stains Megan was sure to immediately get on any article of clothing.

“But she said arses,” Megan replied.

“Elinor is an adult and if she felt she needed to use a vulgar word, I imagine she had her reasons. Elinor, I did call that company but it went straight to the machine, so I called Jock—”

“Mum, you should have waited, he won’t want to be bothered,” Elinor said. Some days, most days, it seemed she was the only Dashwood who didn’t think Barton Cottage Inn was a kind of free pass. Megan was the only one who had a right to feel that way.

“He wasn’t bothered a bit, you worry too much, darling,” her mother replied.

“Someone has to,” Elinor said under her breath.

“He said he had a friend to send round, a sort of jack-of-all-trades, a bit at loose ends, he said, it would be good for him to have a project to work on, and heaven knows the inn qualifies,” her mother went on blithely. 

“Jock-of-all-trades has a friend Jack-of-all-trades,” Megan said, grinning.

“Actually, his name is Brandon,” her mother said.

“Jock has a friend named Brandon?” Marianne said. “That’s rather trendy, isn’t it?”

“His last name is Brandon. His first name is Richard.”

“That’s not trendy at all,” Megan said. “I’m going to call him Brandon.”

“You’re going to call him Mr. Brandon or sir,” her mother said firmly.

If he could deal with the old wiring and the wonky cistern, the crumbling masonry and the flaking plaster, if he could reach a détente with the boiler, which appeared to be possessed and not by a happy spirit, Elinor would call the man whatever he pleased, prince or saint or colonel.

As it turned out, he was a dab hand with a fuse and a gasket and he said he preferred Brandon.

If it were not for Elinor’s stupidly loyal heart, the memory of Teddy’s voice reciting Keats in the twilight, she’d have fallen in love at first sight.

She’d discover soon enough that Brandon did that as well. 

It took Marianne substantially longer.

Posted for Janeuary 2025 @janeuary-month Day 5, prompt: inn

[hellcatinnc]

Love & Deepspace Men On Your Anniversary Rafayel & Xavier

This is a year anniversary of being with your beloved and all they would do for that special day. Also check out the other guys as well

Zayne & Sylus

Caleb

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Rafayel

A romantic dinner on the beach

Pours you a glass of your favorite wine

Rose petals line down the beach for a romantic stroll

At the end of a romantic walk way "Will You Marry Me" lights up the beach

Before you can say a word you turn he is down on one knee proposing to you

Wrote a romantic proposal that was pulled from a message in the bottle (scroll down to see his proposal)

Its a aquatic style moss stone from Lumeria

The ring is nestled in a treasure box to display

The soft music playing in the back ground

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My Darling, The one who has been my bodyguard, always protecting my heart and standing by my side, I have something to say. "My heart is, and always will be, yours." From the moment we met, you have been the guiding star in my life, lighting up the darkest nights and filling my days with joy and love. Our love story is like the ocean's tide – ever-changing, yet constant and eternal. "My love for you is a journey, starting at forever and ending at never." It is a journey that I want to continue with you, exploring the uncharted waters of life and creating a masterpiece of love and happiness together. As an artist, I have always sought to capture the beauty of the world around me, but it is in your eyes that I have found the most captivating masterpiece of all. Your love has been the inspiration behind every stroke of my brush, every note of my melody, and every word of my poetry. Today, I stand here with a heart full of love and a promise to cherish and protect you, just as you have done for me. I want to create a lifetime of memories with you, painting a picture of love that will last forever. So, my love, will you join me on this incredible journey? Will you be my partner, my muse, my forever and always? With all my heart, I ask you to be mine for the rest of your life.

Your Raffy

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Xavier

You come home to find the house lit up in beautiful lights soft music playing and he pulls you into his arms to share a dance

Romantic table set up with food he tried his best maybe not the best but her did put in the extra work with a cook book to fix your favorite

Red wine to set off the beginning of the meal

He runs you a hot bubble bath after dinner with rose petals and candles and spends his time washing every inch of you from top to bottom

He walks you into your bedroom lit up with lights

There is a cute teddy bear set lined on the bed "A Family"

He looks over at you and says...."Let's Make A Baby?" (That's right he is in a baby making mood - he secretly had a breeding kink)

Makes love to you all night til morning break

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