#i did consider just........ deleting these <3 i still might

[lerclan]

orange | lando norris

type: smau + written

pairing(s): influencer!reader x lando norris

summary: you wanted to share your love for orange but it ends up with you and an f1 driver having dating rumors which slowly develops and turns out to be true at the end.

warning(s): slightly suggestive at the end

fc: random girlies off of pinterest!

---

ynnn

Liked by amayamoore, lilymhe, and 376,193 others

ynnn in love with orange atm 🧡🐚🪸

tagged: amayamoore

View all 73,618 comments

---

amayamoore LOVE YOU BABESSS 🫶

ynnn LOVE U 2 MAMI😻😻😻

user1 okay girlll we see you with f1

ynnn chat i have no idea what that is

user1 WHAT?? HOW??? ITS LITERALLY ONE OF YOUR PHOTOS AND YOUR FRIENDS W LILY MHE?? 😭😭

ynnn I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD FIT THE AESTHETIC AND AMAYA WAS THE ONE THAT INTRODUCED ME TO LILY. ALL WE EVER TALKED ABOUT WAS GOLF 😔

user1 ohhh 😭😭😭 okay girl eat it up 🙏🙏 ❤️ by author

user2 soft launch??

user3 IN LOVE W ORANGE THE COLOR OR IS THIS A CODE NAME FOR THE DRIVER?

user4 PLSSS WHAT IF ITS A SOFT LAUNCH??

user5 considering that y/n doesnt know what f1 is im not really sure abt this one

user3 what if its like a cover up or something

user4 YEAH FR WHAT IF SHES J PLAYING W US

ynnn 😈😈😈 *author deleted a comment*

user4 OH

user6 OMG NO WAY 😭😭

user3 WE SAW THAT

lilymhe okay come hangout with me when?

amayamoore in 3 days trust.

ynnn girl...where are we going...

amayamoore you wont like it but me and lily will

lilymhe OMG NO WAY?? FR??

amayamoore YESSSS

ynnn chat im lost

user7 okay shes in her wag era ❤️ by author

user7 OOP.

user8 NOT THE SOFT LAUNCH PLSSS

---

landonorris

Liked by mclaren, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 721,917 others

landonorris im orange 😭🧡

View all 112,172 comments

---

carlossainz55 i told you to not do it but you still did it anyways mate

landonorris TO BE FAIR I THOUGHT IT WOULD WORK BETTER SINCE IM ALREADY TAN

carlossainz55 yeah now look at you. you look like an actual papaya. shouldve left that fake tan alone.

charles_leclerc no wonder you looked like that. 😂😂😂

mclaren someones a true dedicated papaya 👀🧡 ❤️ by author

oscarpiastri mate you look like the lorax 😭

landonorris thanks osc...really needed that

user1 LMFAOAOAO IM CRYINGGG

user3 guys aint no way...IS THIS ACTUALLY REAL?? OR LIKE AM I OVERTHINKING 😭😭🙏

user4 NO GIRL I GET IT...IT ACTUALLY MATCHES UP 😭😭😭

user6 WE ALL SAW WHAT Y/N REPLIED WITH 💀

user3 IKR LIKE HER CAPTIONING "in love with orange atm" AND NOW LANDOS CAPTION "im orange" LIKE????

user4 YOU MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING FR

user9 you guys are so delusional 💀 landos talking about him putting on fake tan and it made him orange 💀💀

user3 let us be delusional please 😔

user10 lando has rizz?

user11 y/n and lando lowkey have matching captions

user12 who is y/n?

user11 shes an influencer. shes friends with lily mhe 😄 heres her account @/ynnn

user12 OMG THEY FR DO LOWKEY HAVE MATCHING CAPTIONS...

---

f1wagnews

Liked by user3, user4, and 127,232 others

f1wagnews potential f1 wag in the process? or is it all just a mishap?

View all 12,232 comments

---

user3 IM CALLING IT I SWEAR. ❤️ by author

user3 THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE THO... ❤️ by author

user4 FR???

user10 i agree w you guys fully.

---

---

ynnn

Liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 628,162 others

ynnn no cuz im being fr she actually just kidnapped me and forced me to put on the outfit 😟

tagged: amayamoore

View all 92,717 comments

---

scuderiaferrari please kidnap her more. the garage enjoyed her rant about despicable me 😂❤️

redbullracing were gonna have to bribe her friend to bring her here...that sounds interesting 🧐

mclaren too late we already sent them invites.

scuderiaferrari telling our drivers to crash into you.

ynnn ladies, ladies...relax ive got enough of me to have around 😏

amayamoore get out y/n 😭😭😭

mclaren we dont like to share.

user11 ik y/n got lost about 50 times im calling it

amayamoore more than that im afraid 😔

ynnn SHUT UP.

user11 LMFAOO

user3 oh so theyre on the low low i see

user4 PLSS YOU ARE NOT GIVING UP 😭😭

user3 THEYD BE CUTE TOGETHER LET ME BE DELUSIONAL 😭😭😭

user7 NAH FR THOO

charles_leclerc soo...how long are you staying for?

carlossainz55 you did not.

charles_leclerc 😇😇😇

georgerussell63 shes WAY out of your league leclerc. anyways how long though? 😉

alex_albon lily told me to tell you guys to stay away from her. she got suspended for 3 hours from commenting bad stuff about you guys.

amayamoore lily also told me to tell you guys to get out of y/ns comment section

ynnn LMFAOO LILY NAURRRR 😭😭😭

charles_leclerc never answered our question...

ynnn a while leclerc.

maxverstappen1 did anyone else hear a yell from mclarens garage or was it just me?

mclaren 🤫🤫🤫

user12 NOT A MCLAREN DRIVER GETTING EXPOSED BY MAX 😭😭

user3 I WONDER WHICH ONE 💀

user13 PIASTRI MAYBE??

user14 NOOO IT DEF HAS TO BE LANDO

user5 watch it be an engineer

oscarpiastri it was nice talking to you, ill show you around yeah?

ynnn YES PLSSS 😊😊

landonorris wow ok

charles_leclerc i know right. FROM MY OWN SON.

ynnn ???

oscarpiastri theyre being dramatic. dont mind them 🙄

---

oscarpiastri posted on their story !

👁️ 782,173

landonorris replied to oscarpiastris story

landonorris OSCAR.

oscarpiastri LANDO.

landonorris THIS IS TRULY OPP BEHAVIOUR.

oscarpiastri what do you mean lando?

landonorris I CANT BELIEVE YOU DIDNT INVITE ME...

landonorris I LITERALLY COULDVE HAD A CONVO WITH HER OSC.

oscarpiastri lando you had 6 chances and you ran away every time...

landonorris anyways...next time..for sure....

oscarpiastri okay lando we will see...

---

oscarpiastri

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, ynnn, and 812,173 others

oscarpiastri am i the best guide ever or what? 😄

tagged: ynnn

View all 161,172 comments

---

ynnn YOU ARE NOT. ❤ by author

ynnn YOU PUSHED ME TO THE BUSHES

oscarpiastri THAT WAS BY ACCIDENT. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LIGHT SHOVE SINCE THERE WAS SOMEBODY RUNNING YOUR WAY 😔

ynnn UH HUH WTV EXCUSES EXCUSES. 😒

landonorris yeah dont listen to him he told me he did it on purpose

oscarpiastri I DID NOT 😟

ynnn WOWWWW. WOWWWWWWWWW.

user3 k chat...maybe her and lando arent dating...maybe its her and piastri...

user4 HAVE FAITH STAND YOUR GROUND 😭😭

user3 I WILL. THANK YOU 🫡

user14 yn and the mclaren drivers. never knew i needed them till now 😩

user15 NAH CUZ FR?? THE CHEM.

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, amayamoore, and 826,173 others

ynnn you can tell who kidnapped me this time. (also peep oscars stance 😭)

tagged: amayamoore, oscarpiastri, landonorris

View all 127,718 comments

---

user3 CHAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL 😨😨😨

user4 LMFAOO 😭😭😭

user3 LANDO IN THE LIKES??

user4 this is fr your moment girl 🙈🙈🙈

user14 OSCAR PLSSS LMFAOO ALSO LANDO AT THE LAST PHOTO 😭😭

mclaren will tell oscar to kidnap you again.

oscarpiastri already on it 🫡

scuderiaferrari we had her first :(

landonorris she looks way better in orange.

charles_leclerc nuh uh shes way better in red.

ynnn awhh guys fr theres enough of me around 🤭

amayamoore LMFAO I CANNOT W YOU 😭

oscarpiastri WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT PHOTO

ynnn lets just say im in the shadows...

landonorris dont question her any further.

oscarpiastri what is going on 😞

landonorris I SAID DONT QUESTION HER.

ynnn thank you norris

landonorris anytime for you l/n 🫶

ynnn such a gentleman 🙈🫶

user3 GET IUT IF HERE IM GONNA PASS IUT

amayamoore they fr took my girl. 🙁

ynnn girl...YOU LEFT ME WITH THEM.

amayamoore OOPSIES. 🙈

lilymhe shes doing that thing again y/n

ynnn SHES DOING THE THING THING???? TO WHICH ONE!?!3$/&

lilymhe even i dont know 😟

ynnn 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

amayamoore 😈😈😈😈

---

---

ynn

Liked by landonorris, osarpiastri, and 1,231,642 others

ynnn i like this guide way better. he doesnt push me into bushes. 🤍

tagged: landonorris

View all 233,123 comments

---

landonorris id never push a pretty lady like you into bushes. ❤️

ynnn so basically what youre saying is that if i was ugly you would?

landonorris that sounds impossible coming from you l/n.

ynnn why thank you norris 😊

lilymhe BOTH OF YOU GET UP RN.

lilymhe @/ynnn PLEASE STAND ON BUSINESS Y/N DONT PLAY W ME RN.

amayamoore LET HER SIT LILY 🤭🤭🤭

mclaren whatever amaya said. ❤️ by author

user3 I AM PEEING MYSELF RN.

user3 GUYS ITS HAPPENING...ITS HAPPENING DONT PANIC

user4 THIS IS SO YOUR MOMENT OMG IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY FOR YOU

user3 MAYBE I WONT GET SENT TO AN ASYLUM

mclaren stop stealing our drivers 🙁

ynnn ill try my best 🫡

---

landonorris

Liked by ynnn, amayamoore, lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 1,854,321 others

landonorris shes my bestfriend now.

tagged: ynnn

View all 321,283 comments

---

amayamoore NUH UH.

lilymhe lando norris bites the curb in 4k ultra hd.

landonorris ALEX. SHES DOING IT AGAIN 😟

alex_albon i cant even help you w this one...im scared of her...

lilymhe stay quiet alex.

alex_albon 🤐🤐🤐

amayamoore she maybe your best friend but shes not yours.

landonorris she said i was 🙄

ynnn ONE of my bestfriends

landonorris now were lying now huh 😒

ynnn excuse me norris. i will make sure lilys statement becomes true

landonorris im sorry my lady 😞❤️

ynnn good. ❤️

charles_leclerc guys go to your dms before i cry.

georgerussell63 fr im gonna start bawling. we lost a baddie 😔

ynnn what are you guys even talking about...

oscarpiastri dont even worry about them

carlossainz55 i agree with oscar

mclaren shocker...coming from carlos

scuderiaferrari what a moment

user4 @/user3 are you alive?

user3 i think i fr passed out when i swiped and saw her.

user12 GIRL DONT WORRY I PASSED OUT W YOU I THINK ALMOST BROKE MY NECK 😭😭

user3 i have a feeling chat. ❤️ by oscarpiastri, amayamoore, carlossainz55

user4 your feeling may come true soon.

user3 OSCAR, AMAYA, AND CARLOS J LIKED MY COMMENT SOMETHING IS BREWING.

user12 OMGOMGOMGOGMGOGMORBWHQ

user16 why is lando so fine?

user17 not lando being her personal photographer shes such a devourer for that 🙈

user18 both of them are so fine 😫😫😫

---

you were sitting on a swing on the beach waiting for lando to come back. it had been a few months since you and him started hanging out and became friends.

it wasnt surprising when you, along the way of you guys becoming close, started catching feelings for him. you were captivated by his charms, his beautiful and flirtatious personality, and those eyes that hold a million stars.

"y/n?" you hear a voice call out from behind you.

"yes, lan?" you respond back using his nickname.

"i got us some juice. they said these two were the top sellers." he hands you one as he sits down.

"oooo these look good. what flavour is this one?" you ask him waiting to take a sip.

"i think that ones called 'golden sun', it has pineapple, orange, and mango im pretty sure." he answers.

you take a sip from your juice and you were met with a wonderful taste. sweet and sour, but savory as well.

"is it good?" he asks as you eagerly nod your head.

"of course!! you can never go wrong with mango." you answer taking another sip from your juice, "whats yours called?"

"mines called 'starfish dreams', i think it has strawberry, kiwi, peach, and pineapple. not quite sure, but its good. sweet with a hint of sourness." he answers, "wanna try mine?"

"yes!! that sounds equally as good! you can try mine as well." he was ready to give you his cup and you suddenly had an idea.

you grabbed his and gave him yours and then you grabbed his arm making him give you a confused look until he realized what you were doing.

"ohhhh..." he sighs in relief, "i thought i did something wrong for a second."

you laugh out loud at the thought of him being concerned for a second.

"no, no, i just need a nice pic for the gram since you took all of the ones i was gonna post." you give him a side eye as you take out your phone for a picture.

"you snooze you lose." he sticks his tongue out at you, to which you do back.

after you snapped a couple photos, you guys go back to having a conversation about how pretty the view was at night.

"it was really nice of you to invite me here." you say to him as he looks at you.

"im glad i grew the balls to ask you to hangout with me when nobody was willing to," he chuckles, "i wouldve been alone today."

"oh so basically what youre saying is that i was the last option?" you joke around waiting for his response.

"no, no, no...not like that. more like you were the scariest option on the list." he says as you give him a look.

"how? im not that scary looking...right?" you ask him as he violently shakes his head.

"obviously not...i meant–ughhh...what i meant was you were only the scariest option on the list because i was afraid youd reject me." he spews out.

"reject you? why would you think that?" you give him a more confused look.

"because compared to me, i am definitely way out of your league," you look at him in the eyes as he looks away, "youre just too beautiful, refreshing, fun to be around, and youre just so charming. after our first lunch together, i kept thinking about you and how it was impossible to love somebody at first sight, but it was definitely possible and im the living proof of it."

"is this you confessing your love for me, norris?" you ask him as he finally looks into your eyes.

"yeah...i guess it is." he looks at your face for any sort of reaction, but all you did was look into his eyes which made him nervous.

all the nervousness he had were washed away from his body in seconds after you leaned in and gave him a kiss, to which he reciprocated.

"i feel the exact same way, lan." you give him a smile as you give him another kiss.

both of you guys spent your night at the swing looking at the stars, talking about random things that you both were interested in, and getting in the water for a little swim; soaking in each others love for one another.

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, and 923,213 others

ynnn the beach at night>>>

View all 162,172 comments

---

amayamoore idk how you guys can get into the water at night. it gives me the creeps...😟

ynnn its j so relaxingggg maya 🙁

amayamoore THE SHARKS.

lilymhe REAL.

landonorris beach at nights>>>

ynnn YHHH>>>

user19 who is the dude?

user3 according to my calculations, lando norris. 🤓☝️

user4 😭😭😭

user20 the view!???!? 🙈🙈

ynnn had the best view ever 🤫

landonorris i had an even better view.

charles_leclerc if you ever need another tour guide im still an option 😊

scuderiaferrari even im starting to feel bad...

carlossainz55 me and you both.

georgerussell63 me too!! im still an option! 😚

mercedesamgf1 george...

user21 IM CRYING 😭😭

user1 they are not giving up 😭

---

ynnn posted on their story !

👁️ 934,283

amayamoore replied to ynnns story

amayamoore OMG YOU FINALLY BOUGHT A CAR??

ynnn YESSSS

amayamoore so im guessing lando helped you w that huh? 😉

ynnn ....

amayamoore HAHDHAHAH GIRL CANNOT LIE TO SAVE HER LIFE 😭😭

ynnn NAW CUZ HOWD YK THO...

amayamoore girl be fr...it was either oscar or him. last time i checked you were w lando 🙄

ynnn anyways...🤐

amayamoore yeah exactly. also check the gc xoxo

---

---

f1wagnews

Liked by user21, user3, user4, and 102,232 others

f1wagnews alert: lando norris sighted snuggling and kissing with an unknown girl!

View all 11,232 comments

---

user3 oh thats not...!!

user4 I GENUINELY CANT TELL IF THATS Y/N OR NOT...

user3 ME NEITHER 😭😭

user9 it is definitely not y/n guys 💀

user5 fr everyones being so delusional

user9 that is not y/n for everyone being delusional out there 🤣

user3 IT HAS TO BE

---

you and lando laugh together as you both read the comments of the new post created by f1wagnews.

"i would soft launch but it would be a little suspicious and obvious..." you say to him as he laughs.

"i told you hard launching would be the only way. considering the fact we already had a rumor around us." he tells you as you give him a look.

"i guess so. also im only hard launching to prove user9 and user5 wrong. trying to make user3s and user4s day since theyve been rooting for us." you say as he laughs, "you gotta do it with me tho, i have a plan."

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, mclaren, amayamoore, and 2,939,234 others

ynnn i only ride mclarens.

tagged: landonorris

View all 341,234 comments

---

landonorris so funny how im actually named mclarens 😘

ynnn you are so getting it tonight.

lilymhe Y/N.

amayamoore IM CRYING WHY IS SHE SO UNHINGED LILY 😭😭😭

lilymhe BECAUS EOF YOU

mclaren we didnt even read this.

mclaren CONGRATS!! 🍾 ❤️🧡 (were just gonna ignore the caption!)

ynnn thank you sm 😝 (enjoy it)

carlossainz55 HE DID IT???

landonorris and did.

ynnn bro confessed without knowing he confessed...

landonorris SSHHHHH

oscarpiastri HE FINALLY DEFEATED THE LANDO NO-RIZZ ALLEGATIONS‼️‼️

landonorris excuse me.

ynnn YHHH HE DEFEATED IT FINALLY!!!

landonorris EXCUSE ME.

user3 I FRICKING CALLED IT. YOU GUYS I CALLED IT!!! IM NOT CRAZY.

user3 @/user4 WHERE ARE YOU...WE DID IT!!!

user4 WOOOOHOOOO FINALLLYYYYYYJAHWH

ynnn you guys are the og believers.

landonorris y/n only hard launched because of you guys fyi

user3 OMGOMGOSN IM GONNA PASS OUT.

user4 THEY KNOW WE EXIST @/user3

charles_leclerc so im guessing you dont need another tour guide 😕

ynnn sorry charles...ive already got the best tour guide around ❤️

landonorris my loveee ❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 do you guys hear sobbing from ferraris garage and mercedes?

scuderiaferrari yeah...dont worry about it.

mercedesamgf1 the weather is nice today...

amayamoore that caption is insane.

lilymhe WHAT IM SAYING BRO.

ynnn 🙄🙄🙄

---

landonorris

Liked by ynnn, carlossainz55, mclaren, lilymhe, amayamoore and 3,343,964 others

landonorris hi, im mclarens.

tagged: ynnn

View all 394,934 comments

---

ynnn hi mclarens!!! 🙈🙈🙈

landonorris hey there beautiful lady 😍

georgerussell63 theyre so cute im gonna vomit.

mclaren beat the no-rizz and no-wins allegations!!! thats our driver!! 🧡 (still gonna ignore the caption)

landonorris it was y/ns idea believe it or not.

ynnn SHUT UP.

oscarpiastri i just put two and two together with their captions. i wanna bleach my eyes now.

carlossainz55 i just told my teammate to look at their captions and he started sobbing more. 😂😂😂

lewishamilton i dont think my teammate figured it out yet 😅

lewishamilton nvm 😭😭

maxverstappen1 yeah we can hear them all sobbing...

maxverstappen1 congrats mate!! you finally have balls now!!

landonorris last time i checked ive had balls my entire life.

maxverstappen1 idk about that mate

landonorris ask my mother or y/n

ynnn idrk lando...ive only known of their existence since last week...

charles_leclerc KEEP IT IN THE DMS. IVE GOT NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY 😭

ynnn okay ariana grande 😭😭

amayamoore KEEP THAT INFORMATION TO YOURSELVES.

lilymhe we did not wanna hear about what you two did last week.

user3 THE MATCHING CAPTIONS AGAIN 😭😭

user4 theyre so iconic for that tbh. the first time they were put in an article together it was because of their captions being accidentally matching and now its actually real. 😭

user3 genuinely brings tears to my eyes.

user22 theyre so cuteee 🤍🤍

charles_leclerc i think im done crying.

ynnn ill buy you some lec ice cream to make you feel better. 🫶

charles_leclerc thank you 🥹🫶

landonorris and what if i tell you ill eat all of it before it gets to you.

charles_leclerc that might be my 13th reason.

ynnn 😭😭

scuderiaferrari please give our driver a break.

---

authors note(s): this is my first smau so i hope it isnt booty cheeks. i literally started tweaking after trying to do the instagram post layout properly 😭😭

hope you guys enjoyed this and maybe ill make more in the future xoxo

[incognitopolls]

Hello!

I was wondering, what are the chances of not getting your question posted for whatever reason? Like, maybe it wasn't considered appropriate for some or simply you didn't want to post it (and that's is completely fine and understandable). Like, how often does it happen? I've been waiting for about six months for my question to get posted, I just would like to know how likely it is to be left unpublished

Thank you and love the blog! :)

Another anon asked:

just a curious question - how many repeat polls have you received ever (or maybe how common idk)

I get a lot of repeat submissions! I haven't ever counted– and for the most part, I just delete them, so there would really be no way to count. I have a (partial) log of a bunch of the duplicate and off-topic submissions at @incognitopolls-inbox. You can check over there to see some of the polls I receive that I don't end up posting.

I looked through a random 3-day period of my inbox that I knew I haven't touched yet. Between the three days, there were 78 submissions that I would post, 18 submissions that I would not post, and 7 that I'm not sure about. That's a total of 103 submissions, meaning about 75% (of that particular sample pool) will get posted. Some of those "no"s are duplicates, some are off-topic, and there are one or two where I just couldn't figure out what was being asked.

Some that fall into that "I'm not sure" category are questions that are highly localized to somewhere that is not very heavily represented in the users that these polls reach, like "Belgians, how did you feel about [Belgian event]?". Nothing against Belgians, you just won't get much useful data from a poll blog whose results show that a vast majority of the sample pool is Not Belgian. Sometimes those are still fun to run, but I tend to "no" them more often than not.

Aside from duplicate and clearly off-topic submissions, there are a few other (less common) reasons I might not post a poll. It's impossible to give an example of every possible thing I'd veto, but some of the ones in that batch are things like "who should be allowed to say XYZ slur?" which frankly has never been a productive conversation to have on tumblr. Likewise with "Do you think [oppressor group] has a [moral/legal/religious/historical/biological/whatever] right to oppress [oppressed group]?"– there are some submissions that won't even see the light of day via @incognitopolls-inbox. No thanks.

[ineffable-suffering]

INEFFABLE META MASTERPOST

Because I'm slowly losing count and need to organize. So, here's all my self-written metas or ones that I reblogged with my own added theories and commentary! In rainbow colours, naturally.

1 – Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why. My most lengthy and proudest meta about the Final Fifteen and why I think Aziraphale lied on purpose. (Also: The absolute darling @esthermitchell-author bravely fought their way through it and wrote up some more interesting points and different takes on what I came up with. If you want to go down a S2 rabbit hole with us, go read it here.)

2 – Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator (links below) A three-part meta in which I try to analyse and explain that all of the minisodes in Season 2 are not objective narrations but actually Aziraphale's memories.

Part 1: The Story of Job

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

3 – The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie A meta in which I go into unnecessarily great detail about how the Whickber Street Meeting Cotillion Ball was meant to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley.

4 – Crowley & Aziraphale were never free (reblog) A reblog of @baggvinshield's post in which I explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.

5 – In Defense of Aziraphale (double reblog) A double try at explaining why I think Aziraphale's POV in the Final Fifteen is just as horrible as Crowley's and why I don't think him "choosing" to go back to Heaven was the only point of his character journey.

6 – The Art of Miscommunication: Ineffable Edition A meta in which i once again explain why miscommunication is the single biggest ineffable enemy in Season 2.

7– Season 2 Bookshop Shot Meta A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a single bookshop frame in Season 2.

8 – What if it wasn't Aziraphale and Crowley who performed the 25 Lazarii miracle? A mini-meta in which I propose the theory that Jimbriel helped with the miracle to hide himself away from Heaven & Hell.

9 – Things in Good Omens Season 2 I still find weird (reblog) A reblog of @ok-sims and many other great OPs' thoughts on the weird loose strings in Season 2 and what unanswered questions I still have myself.

10 – The Deleted Bookshop Scene (reblog) A reblog of @skirtdyke's video and @i-only-ever-asked-questions' smart thoughts on it, with my own overly-excited 'what that could have meant for the "It's too late" line'-theroy.

11 – The Bentley Handle Easter Egg A meta I can proudly say has been liked by none other than Mr. Neil Gaiman himself about Crowley's Bentley handle that might have existed before the Bentley ever did.

12 – The F*cking Eccles Cakes A meta where I briefly loose my mind because of a pastry. (Addendum: People said very smart things in the comments of the post!)

14 – Re: "You go too fast for me, Crowley" A meta in which I make myself sad by connecting that infamous line to Aziraphale assuming Crowley wanted the Holy Water as a suicide pill.

13 – Trauma-Dumping on your plants: The Anthony J. Crowley Chronicles A meta on why Crowley treats his plants the way that he does.

14 – Demonic Mental Health Awareness Post In which I talk about why I want to get Crowley a therapy voucher.

15 – The Curious Incident of The Flaming Sword in Good Omens A meta on why the Flaming Sword has no deeper meaning. Or does it? (Updated: here's a reblog from @queerfables who did a wonderfully exellent job at calmly explaining all the swordy questions I was yelling about! Consider this meta solved.)

16 – Ceci n'est pas une plume A meta in which I'm a bit of a nerd for language and also explain why learning French and magic the human way says so much about Aziraphale as a character.

17 – The meaning of "I forgive you" A meta in which I explain what both "I forgive you"s mean and why Aziraphale will always fight for what is right until he wins. Also, the lovely @sharksbeerr translated it to Chinese on Weibo!

18 – Memory, or the lack thereof, in Season 2 A little reblog on how memory is a big and unresolved, leaky-bucket theme in Season 2.

19 – „It‘s always too late.“ (ft. Crowley‘s watch)

A short meta about that lines from Season 2 that won‘t leave my brain (and also Crowley‘s mysterious watch).

Addendum:

The one non-spoiler-y ask I could come up with about S2 that was actually answered by Neil, yay!

Also, this wholesome little post I added to that Mr. Gaiman also reblogged. :‘)

*** This is a work in progress and will get updated every time I post a new meta! ***

[poorlittlegreenie13]

Another 'Rules For (fake) Dating an Italian' deleted scene that I promised to post: (the omitted shower scene from chapter nine)

this was gonna start where they were walking to the L after dinner... but the chapter was getting too long & it's kind of dumb & just wasn't feeling it lolll. But you can read it if you really want to! (& I didn't proofread it. sorry! Hopefully no egregious errors).

When she finally looks up again, she finds herself staring at the CVS across the street and stops abruptly. 

“Oh, come with me,” she says, tugging his hand to J-walk across the street. 

“Syd!” Carmy says, eyes widening, glancing at the cars approaching on either side of them. 

“Pedestrians have right of way!” Sydney says, pulling him quickly across before either of them can get flattened. 

“What do you need from CVS?” Carmy says, slightly breathless, as they walk in, dry heat hitting them both as the doors slide closed on the Chicago cold. 

“It’s not what I need, it’s what you need,” she says, pulling him toward the shampoo aisle. 

“Oh, you were serious about the shampoo,” he says, though he doesn’t sound particularly upset about it. 

Would she be crazy if she thought he might actually sound slightly overwhelmed by the idea? But not in a bad way. More in the way where he looks like he’s holding back his actual reaction. She wants to see it.

“I’m not letting you bald in your early thirties because you used 3-in-1 your whole life,” Sydney says, stopping in front of a shelf of shampoos and conditioners and carefully choosing a pair of bottles, which she hands to Carmy. 

“Sounds great,” he says, not even looking at them. The words have a hazy quality to them. She smiles at him, grabbing a bottle of leave-in conditioner for good measure. 

“You need anything else?” she asks him. 

He shakes his head quickly and she nods, walking toward the register, Carmy trailing behind her. 

Somehow, Sydney did not notice them walking through a section of condoms and lube on their way to the hair productions on the way in. 

She notices now though. 

There are a couple of people waiting to check out at the register, and she intended to hang back, not wanting to crowd them, but she realizes now the connotation of her pausing in this particular section of the store. 

Carmy clears his throat. She looks at him. He’s blushing. He’s so pathetic sometimes; she’s fucking crazy about him. 

“Should I…?” he says. 

On any other occasion, she might’ve teased him about trailing off instead of being able to say it out loud, but he’s already so red in the face, she decides to be merciful. 

“What, you don’t have one in your wallet?” she says. “What kind of date is this?”

“You’re so mature, Sydney,” he says, holding back a smile, shaking his head at her. “So mature.”

“You’re the one who’s blushing,” she says, and he blushes harder, grabbing a pack of condoms off the shelf and walking away from her, up to the—now available—register. 

She follows closely behind him, drunk on the ease of it all; the absurd, entrancing way they seem to be able to speak to each other. She’s never had that with anybody else before. She likes the way he smiles when she tries to make a joke. 

In his apartment—a mutually-agreed-upon destination landed on during an L-ride that consisted mostly of staring at each other—Sydney kicks her shoes off by the door and sizes him up for a second.

He fills a glass with water and sets her flowers into them. Then he empties his pockets onto the counter; keys, wallet, phone, cigarettes, then finally, he carefully sets the plastic CVS bag down next to them, looking over at Sydney with a note of uncertain expectation on his face.

“I feel like I should offer you food, but we just ate,” he says, smiling ruefully. 

Sydney stays silent for a second, wondering if she’s being like… overly horny, and weird.

But then she considers the fact that Carmy is still blushing, and decides it’s probably fine. 

“I could, uh, show you how to use that stuff,” she says, inclining her head toward the CVS bag, then, after a moment of silence, quickly adding, “I meant the hair stuff. I didn’t mean the condoms. I mean, we can… we can use the condoms. If you want. But I’m sure you’re… perfectly capable of using those yourself. No instructions necessary.” She forces an awkward little laugh. 

He smiles at her. Not patronizing, or annoyed. He smiles at her like there’s nothing more charming on this earth than her making an utter fool of herself. She watches him bite his bottom lip, trying not to laugh, and then he laughs anyway, a sweet, boyish sound. A sound that makes affection for him swell up in her chest like a helium balloon. 

She finds herself scoffing too. 

“It wasn’t that funny,” she says. 

He presses his lips together in a thin smile to stop laughing. There’s color in his cheeks; a warmth to him, underneath all the overly-formal newness of the date. 

She snatches the CVS bag off the counter, turning and walking toward the bathroom without waiting for him.

She hears him following close behind her. She kicks her shoes off, stopping outside his shower and pulling her sweater over her head (unable to stop herself from neatly folding it and setting it gently down on the closet toilet seat. Because heaven forbid it get fucked up; she loves it like an old friend). 

When she looks up, Carmy is standing in the doorway, tongue playing at the corner of his mouth, eyes fixed on her.

Jesus Christ, are they actually doing this?

Theoretically, stripping her clothes off in front of a guy she just went on a first date with isn’t really her style. 

This is different though, isn’t it? 

Honestly, she doesn’t really care. 

She’s standing in just her skirt, and the bra she picked out that morning (not a particularly nice bra, to be completely honest, she only owns four bras and they’re all the same, just in different colors).

Carmy’s eyes don’t move off her, but his fingers come to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with absurd dexterity, until he has enough room to pull it over his head, leaving him in a white wife beater, gold chain glinting. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Sydney says. 

Carmy scoffs. “Fuck me? You’re the one who looks like that.”

“Like what?” Sydney demands indignantly. 

“Like a fucking angel,” Carmy says, a disbeliving laugh breaking through his words halfway through the sentence. 

“You look like Marlon fucking Brando,” she says. 

“You look cold,” Carmy says, smile softening. “Wanna turn that water on?”

Simple command, but it still makes her smile fade, and her cheeks heat. She nods, turning and reaching into his shower to turn the hot water on, standing on the bathmat where it can’t reach her. 

With her back still turned to him, she reaches to undo the clasp of her bra, sliding it off and letting it fall to the tile floor of his bathroom. 

She hears him inhale. 

Hears a faint rustle of fabric. 

She brings her fingers to the zipper of her skirt and pauses, looking over her shoulder at him. 

He’s taken his undershirt off. 

She stands unmoving for a long moment, stuck in the feeling of him staring at her like a fly stuck in honey. 

“Syd,” he says gently, after a moment. “You sure you wanna do this?”

“Do you want to do this?” she asks. 

He exhales a soft laugh. 

“Yes,” he says simply. 

“Well, so do I,” she says, turning back to look at the shower water, unzipping the side of her skirt. “Get over here,” she says, one hand still holding her skirt up. 

Carmy crosses quickly to her; shirtless, impossible. His eyes flick down to her chest, but quickly come back up to her face, like he thinks she might not notice. 

She did notice. She didn’t mind. 

“You first,” she says, nodding toward his pants, still buttoned. 

He scoffs, and a blush creeps up his exposed chest, but he unbuttons them anyway, pushing them down his hips and stepping out of them, left in boxers and socks. 

She lets her skirt drop, kicking it over the same way as Carmy’s pants, and without letting herself hesitate, slides her panties down her hips too and steps under the water, inhaling sharply as it hits her head, instantly banishing any hints of the cold from her body. 

She hears the curtain slide shut, and when she opens her eyes, Carmy is standing across from her, his back pressed to the cold tiles behind the showerhead, totally dry. 

She steps back so he can stand under the water too, but he makes no motion to move until she reaches out and takes one of his wrists in her hand, pulling him under the water. 

He tilts his head back, water running over his face, curls straightening out beneath it. She finds her eyes catching on stray drops of water as they trail down his chest. 

But no. She’s getting distracted. 

“Carm,” she says. “Hair.”

“Really?” he says, with a faint note of exasperation, opening his eyes and looking at her. 

“What, did you think this was just an excuse to get you in the shower?” she says, reaching out to get the shampoo and conditioner and setting them on the shelf. “I don’t joke about curl patterns, Carmen.”

“Right,” Carmy says, shaking his head slowly. “I should’ve known.”

She smiles at him ruefully.

“I still don’t know what was so bad about my 3-in-1,” he says. 

Sydney rolls her eyes. 

“God, you’re hopeless,” she says, “here, just turn around.”

She puts her hands on his shoulders, spinning him to face the opposite shower wall. 

The water hits his face and he tilts his head back to avoid it. 

For a moment, she lets her eyes wander over his back; littered with tattoos, dripping with water. 

She wants to press a kiss to the space between his shoulder blades, but she settles instead for dragging her fingers over the slopes of his shoulders, down his biceps, lingering on his skin until she pulls her hands away to reach for the shampoo. She sees him shiver. 

“I never take warm showers,” he murmurs. Maybe to break the silence. Maybe just to talk. 

“Why not?” she asks, pouring some shampoo into one hand and replacing the bottle on the shelf in the corner of his shower. 

“I— oh,” he breaks off as she brings her hand to the back of his hair, beginning to massage the shampoo into his damp curls. “I, uh, I don’t know, just never… had the time for the water to warm up, I guess,” he says, quieter. 

She drags her fingers through his hair, bringing her left hand up to join her right, working across his scalp. 

“God, that’s— that’s good, Syd,” he says, words soft.

He steps back, maybe subconsciously, leaning into her touch. His back grazes her chest and she hears his breath catch. 

“Sorry,” he breathes, freezing in place.  

“Don’t be,” she says. “Step under the water for me though, we need to wash this out.”

“Mmhm,” he says, leaning his head forward to catch under the water. The bubbles of the shampoo run down his back, following the path of his spine.  

When the water runs clear, no more shampoo running down the drain, he turns around to look at her. His eyelashes have droplets of water stuck in them. His hair is plastered to his forehead. 

“Done?” he asks. 

“No,” she says, smiling at how disheveled he looks.  “Conditioner now.”

“Oh,” he says, exhaling. 

“It’s good to leave the conditioner in for a few minutes sometimes,” she says, swallowing hard, reaching blindly behind her for the bottle, uncapping it and squeezing some into her palm. He watches her do it. “Makes your hair softer, you know?”

“Whatever you say,” he says, though he doesn’t seem particularly invested in her haircare instructions. 

She doesn’t make him turn around this time, just smooths his hair back with one hair and combs the conditioner through with the other, enjoying the way his eyes flutter shut as she drags her fingernails lightly over his scalp. 

When she’s done, he doesn’t open his eyes. 

She studies his face for a second; greedy and unhurried. 

He’s so fucking beautiful. 

“Carm,” she says. 

“Mm?” he says, eyes opening. 

She smiles softly at the dazed expression on his face, and drops her eyes to his lips. As she leans into him, she sees the tiniest flicker of surprise, and then he’s leaning back to meet her, that hungry kind of kissing that unfailingly disarms her. 

Her chest presses against his, their wet skin sliding easily together, making her body hum to life. 

She isn’t sure if she steps forward, or he steps back, but as they move together, the shower water begins raining down over both their heads. Sydney tastes flat water catching between their lips; the shock of the heat of it makes her gasp, and when she pulls back from Carmy, he’s red and breathless.

“I… think it, uh, washed itself out,” she says, glancing at his hair. 

“Yeah?”

She nods slowly.

“Smells good,” he says, running his fingers through his own damp hair. 

She smiles at him. “It’ll be soft when it dries.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm,” she says, nodding, becoming less capable of words as he stares at her more intensely. 

“You wanna… dry off?” he asks. “Then we can… you know. Whatever you want.”

“Yeah,” she says. 

He reaches behind him, turning the water off. 

There are towels under his sink and he tosses her one. 

“Don’t you dare towel dry your hair,” she says. 

He blinks at her. 

“Wha—how am—what am I supposed to do if I don’t towel dry it?”

“You need to scrunch it up and let it dry naturally.”

“Uh-huh,” he says. “Maybe show me that next time.”

She rolls her eyes as he towels his hair off in a way that is absolutely going to undo any progress she made. But she doesn’t really care. 

“Bedroom?” she asks, wrapping the towel he gave her around herself. 

“Yes,” he says, 

[creatingblackcharacters]

hi there; first, thank you for making this blog and all the lessons you do, i really appreciate them as a Black person because it highlights a lot of struggles i face with fandoms in general, and why i dont interact more in certain spaces. it makes me feel seen

with regards to your questions, i'd also like answers to them from nonblack fans, especially nonblack anime fans. i don't even mean consuming anime with overtly racist caricatures of black characters (because numerous anime fans pirate their anime and never send a cent to the creators anyway), i mean how can they make fanworks of it?

how can they look at something that they are told is wildly offensive, but then defend with "well, this is how it looks in canon"? where is the line drawn between what's okay and what isn't? as long as it's slow and gradual, is there no line at all?

these are probably just rehashings of your own followup questions, so please excuse that, but i do have an anecdote

i joined a casual anime server the other day and a lot of folks were lamenting one Black character's racist design and how often those on social media will replicate it without thinking/caring. The thing that struck me is that, I've checked this character's tumblr tag regularly for a long time. There are always people who will post art/fanworks of this character with his racist design. Yet hardly ever, if ever, (outside of Black fans) have I seen any of these folks- the ones in the discord server- try to talk to artists/writers/fan creators/etc via asks/replies/etc. There's a notable amount of people in that server and a notable amount that agreed the design was outright racist and that they'll never make fanworks like that, and yet still silence

i'm not entirely sure what would be the line, or the "okay, that's enough" moment to spur any of these folks into action. i'm not sure if there is one. the only reason i don't make my own "hey what is wrong with all of you" post and blow up is because I've made a wonderful little friend group in this fandom who get it, and I don't want them to get caught up in whatever happens if I were to make a post like that

And this is just for getting people to stop using the canon design of the character, i.e., to stop drawing him as a racist caricature. This isn't touching on the people who 1) lighten his skintone [he's been horribly whitewashed over time, which has been reflected in some fanarts and fan merch], or 2) give him a looser hair/straight hair texture, rather than his type 4 hair (there's also #3, which is fanfiction with straight up slurs, and horribly racist writing in it that my friend heavily warned me not to read, but that was more of a one-off case and I've had the creator blocked a long time now).

my point being, we (Black fans) can't even get folks to stop with the caricatures, which we have to start with, and then there's even more of an annoying uphill battle with the other stuff. I'm just so tired of all of this; it makes me want delete my own works and turn away from fandom all together because i can't stand it.

trying for polite and assuming ignorance hardly ever works, speaking bluntly doesnt work at all, making public posts hardly goes anywhere (partly because of how rarely people reblog things anymore, partly because it makes people 'uncomfortable' to share this information with others). Black fans so obviously need help to combat this, and yet it's like sitting at a tea party and hearing all these pretty words in this one setting, yet nobody does anything different/better when the party's over/outside this setting.

sorry for dooming a bit, but like, genuinely i would like to know where the line is for nonblack folks? what is the point/are the points where you would speak up against antiblack racism? have you ever considered speaking up? if there's ever a moment you recognized antiblack racism and didn't say anything, why didn't you? did you consider how your lack of speaking up might affect your fellow Black fans? or how Black fans may be interpret this as silent agreement with the racists/with the racist 'norm'?

..those could maybe be alternative ways of asking your last followup question?

(if i've made any blunders or overstepped here, please let me know!)

No, I'm glad you spoke up! I too would like to see answers!

[six-eyed-samurai]

I was finally able to think of a request lol :D

I was wondering if i could get a Gyutaro x reader (female or gender neutral, whichever works best for you :3) who is in a depressive episode and just really burnt out, like barely getting out of bed, not really taking care of themselves unless specifically made to, and how he would react to that considering he’s used to them being pretty outgoing and happy and always doing things.

i’m just needing the comfort right now and who better to do it then probably one of the most protective demons in the series.

have a nice day/night :3

SUMMARY: Gyutaro isn't the best at understanding emotions but he'll try...even if he fails. A/N: I got what you feel, my sueto poteo begurl! Sorry this took so long, I was busy and Tumblr deleted my first draft T_T WARNINGS: Cannibalism because demons, fem reader, depression My inbox is still open if you would like to request for the event!

Humans are weird.

Of course that was only from Gyutaro’s perspective, seeing as he was a demon and didn't feel the same way humans did about problems or emotions. It made it a little hard to understand why people would get so worked up over problems because as a demon you could solve all of them (they didn't have much honestly) by killing or have everyone cower in fear of you.

Then again as a human, he had solved most of his problems that way as well, so it can be confirmed that Gyutaro was not very good at understanding emotions.

But you were a demon and that was weirder.

For one you were quite upbeat all the time, always smiling brightly no matted what. For another everyone loved you, although it might be because the dumbasses had no idea as to what you truly are.

Third was that while demons didn't need sleep you'd been doing a lot of it lately. That was weird even for you, someone not strong enough to be a demon of importance but not so weak as to be one of those filthy humans.

Come to think of it you weren't just sleeping a lot. He'd barely seen you around but Gyutaro had assumed that was because he had been out a lot of nights hunting, until he realized watching through Daki’s mind that you barely left your room and rarely did anything anymore. If you did it was only because the mistress was bugging you or you were specifically requested. And when you spoke it was a dull monotone of absolute obedience.

You used to be such a pretty little bird! A canary that delighted everyone, especially himself, with your lilting voice and sweet words. Then you became some peculiar nocturnal creature and Gyutaro found that he did not quite like all ugly, dirty things in the dust after all.

But it'd be a lie to say Gyutaro had noticed the change in your behaviour the last few days. No, it had been Daki, something he was ashamed to admit. She had remarked upon your disappearance and had just about thrown him out of the room when he said he didn't notice anything, huffing that you probably were going to think he no longer wanted you.

Idiot, Gyutaro cursed himself, and suddenly was reminded of the first night at the beginning when crush became confession.

“You're mine,” he'd hissed, and tucked away in his protective hold you had laughed lightly and agreed if he'd be yours in exchange.

You were his and Gyutaro took care of his most precious things. VERY good care of his things.

***

It's been a while since he entered your room.

Gyutaro hunkered down beside you, curious and confused. Your blankets were strewn all over the place and your head was buried under a mound of pillows; it was obvious that you hadn't moved in hours. A skeletal hand hovered above your shoulder, unsure if he should awaken you…or if you are even sleeping. You looked rather unhappy even relaxed.

“Gyutaro.” Your eyes cracked open, his name a statement rather than a question, but there was some surprise in your tone nevertheless.

Gyutaro did not like the look of you, for you looked dead but not in complexion - rather the dimness of the life spark that he had enjoyed watching snuffed out when he killed. He grunted in reply, eyeing you suspiciously. “I haven't seen you in a while.”

“I suppose you haven't.” Your shoulders sagged. “I'm sorry, I'm kind of tired tonight. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Tired?” Gyutaro recoiled sharply, hurt and a little mad. “You…don't want to see me?”

“No. I just meant tomorrow.” You struggled to muster a smile but he snarled at no one in particular, nails gouging into the wooden floor, before he was gone in a flash.

Clearly something must be bothering you, Gyutaro reasoned to himself as he made his way back to Daki’s room. Something that must be affecting your energy and mood. You couldn't possibly be fed up with him, were you?

No, you promised!

There must be something else, something else the cause of your problems. Whatever it was Gyutaro would get rid of it, preferably painfully, but first he would have to watch you keenly.

It wasn't spying, not technically, when he was only trying to look out for you and after a few days Gyutaro finally came up with an answer. For whatever reason you hadn't left the house to hunt and so you must be starved of a good meal, he concluded. People loved you, thinking you were just an ordinary human, so perhaps the mistress was adding more to your workload or you couldn’t say no to accompanying one of the girls during the night. Easy, he could remedy that! Especially when he found the two guys who had disrespected you oh so badly not too long ago.

He lugged the two corpses back to your room, getting through the window quite effortlessly. You were awake this time, he was happy to find, and picking at the knots in your hair in front of your vanity, your brush lying forgotten on the ground.

You frowned, though. Not what he was expecting. “What…is that?”

“For you….to eat.” Gyutaro scrunched up his eyebrows, baffled when you made no move towards it. “Aren’t you hungry?”

Your shoulders sagged again. Uncertainly your hand reached out and patted his hair briefly before withdrawing. “…I already ate, Gyutaro, and it’s not hunger that’s bothering me.”

“…it’s me, isn’t it? Do - have you found someone else?” Gyutaro began to panic and rage. “I’ll kill him! Who is he? Is he handsome? NEEEH! I’ll do better, I swear, I’m sorry I’m so ugly-”

“No! Not like that!” Your hands shot out again to assure him, but it only lasted a few moments. “I’m just…tired. I’ll be alright in a few days but I don’t really have the energy to see people right now.”

“You…don’t want to see me?”

“No, that’s not what I-”

Gyutaro’s nails gouged into his cheeks this time as he disappeared out of your room, disappointed.

***

Daki didn’t want the humans either.

“EW! BROTHER, WHY WOULD YOU BRING BACK SUCH UGLY PEOPLE! I’M NOT GOING TO EAT THEM! THEY’RE JUST GONNA TAKE UP SPACE IN MY OBI AS WELL!” Daki would’ve kicked them away from her if her dress hadn’t hampered her movements. Gyutaro growled under his breath but began to eat them himself. “Why don’t you give them to (y/n) ? She usually eats ugly things like these.”

“Shut up already!”

“Hey, I saw you coming out of her room just now, did you-”

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

“Someone’s touchy,” Daki sighed, rolling her eyes. “Did she reject them?”

Rejected me, more like, Gyutaro grumbled to himself. He looked up from his meal, considering things. Daki was a girl and your friend (sort of), perhaps she’d know what was wrong with you. “She’s been weird lately. Doesn’t eat much and shit. Why?”

“You gotta finish your story first!”

“I dunno alright! She just spends her time either in bed or asleep, doesn’t do anything unless you ask her, doesn’t even wanna see or talk to me since a few days ago!” Gyutaro threw a bone across the room in frustration. “It’s like she’s kinda unhappy. Did something happen?”

“Kinda unhappy? Now that I think of it she got assigned to the new oiran a few days ago and she treats the girls worse than I do honestly.” Daki suddenly sat up straighter. She’d finish doing her lipstick and now she looked ready to chuck it at her brother. “Did you not notice? Oh my god, you’re so dense! She’s unhappy and you didn’t do a thing about it!”

“WHAT?!”

She did throw it at him. “Go comfort your precious girl in her depressive episode, you stupid dumbass! Honestly, I’m a demon and even I understand emotions better than you.”

***

It seemed like no matter how nice you try to be some girl’s always laughing at you behind her fan and due to the shortage of girls in the house (you suspected to be caused by Daki, but you had your fair share as well) the mistress had been pressuring you to work harder for the new oiran and nothing was to her satisfaction.

Every minor accident magnified tenfold and every day it felt like you were on the verge of tears or…actually, absolute numbness. You didn’t want to care anymore, so despite not needing it anymore you started spending more of your time asleep than awake, eating the minimum to live. Why did you live anyway? Probably because you were too afraid of what happened after.

And you still wanted to hang around to be with Gyutaro…even if he hurt you with his apparent indifference to your current situation.

Everybody was indifferent, in fact. The truth was nobody cared. Nobody was going to come into your room and ask if you were alright, for everyone was too caught up in their problems.

Well, except for whoever’s hand it was that suddenly grabbed you.

Your eyes shot open at once and you grabbed on tightly to the familiar person now carrying your oddly gently, bridal-style, out of your bedroom via the window and climbing upwards agilely. A very familiar someone with a skeletal body frame, an untidy mop of green hair and grey, spotted skin.

“Gyutaro?!” Your voice should’ve been hoarse from the lack of use and water but instead the yelp came out louder and clearer than intended. “What are you doing?!”

He didn’t answer, only set you down on top of the rooftop carefully and settled down next to you awkwardly, scratching away at his neck and arm. Gyutaro nodded upwards. “Just watch.”

And the sky exploded into millions of colors.

“…a fireworks show?” It’s been a while since you’ve smiled, but the way your mouth hung open and widened at the same time couldn’t be helped as you gazed at the vibrant sparks shooting up. Your hand, out of habit, inched closer to his and intertwined fingers. You were startled when he yanked you against him, almost in a cuddling position, but pleased.

“Daki told me. Thought I’d take you to see it since you won’t leave your room otherwise.” Gyutaro seemed to be steeling himself for something, scratching harder. “…you can tell me if you have problems, y’know? I won’t get it but Daki’s a girl and I’ll…try.”

It’s been a while since you actually broke down, let a few tears fall and have someone tuck you closer to hold and comfort while you poured your heart out like a flood after the dam breaks down. It felt good. Gyutaro listened and he was good at it, not punctuating it with blunt “I could go kill thems” or turning away stiffly saying he didn’t understand you and your emotions like he used to, like you thought he would. Occasionally he’d squeeze your hand tight when one particularly loud and beautiful firework went off.

It was…he really knew how to make things better, huh?

“Thanks…” You pressed your head into the bony crook of his neck. “For this. Feel free to kidnap me anytime for a fireworks show, I guess.”

“I’ll take you to a better one next time. And I didn’t kidnap you!”

Ah, that laugh. How he missed hearing it, even over the boom of the sparklers.

The pretty little bird was back and quite surprisingly Gyutaro discovered he could still feel after all: relief and…affection for you.

[rat-n-atty]

MEET MY SMG4 OC CLOVE!

(fucking finally)

(Also a bit of a redesign since I kinda changed my style a bit lmao)

Meet Clove! (Enid) a 22-year-old "mad" scientist who has made the poor decision to be Smg3's assistant but who exactly is she? What's her lore? What are her goals? Why is she an Ex-villain? and all the other amazing questions you might have (or don't idk) will all be answered here!...hopefully...

"Enid Gadd" (Backstory)

Enid comes from a long line of talented and successful scientists (like her grandpa, E. Gadd more on that in a bit) but she was always seen as a black sheep of the family in short.

Ever since Enid could even talk, she has always aspired to be a great scientist just like her family but it seemed like everything she did, it meant nothing so she became E. Gadd's student when she was young (considering she was practically raised by the guy damn)

It seemed like everything Enid did though was still not enough for her parents so she said "fuck it" and decided to become someone else's assistant in hopes that she could be a better scientist than all of them and that is when Smg3 comes in...

"Clove" (assistant days)

Now, Bowser was a terrible assistant so Smg3 decided to get a new one instead so one day while Clove was just walking around the Mushroom Kingdom city; she saw a purple Mario recolor next to a stand on the side of the street with a sign that said LOOKING FOR AN EVIL ASSISTANT (WILL NOT GIVE VACATION DAYS) (why would look for one in broad daylight you dumb bitc-)

So she took her shot, lied to 3 about being "inherently evil" but she also added that she was pretty good at making bombs (which was also a half-truth) so she became Smg3's assistant from that day on.

She didn't really know what to expect at first and she thought that Smg3's main goal of being a villain at the time was kinda dumb but it was better than home so she stayed and she stayed for a long time.

She eventually became evil and she got better at her inventions and her scientific studies all for the goal of ruling the world with Smg3 and telling her entire family (not including E. Gadd) to suck it...which now brings us to the YouTube Arc...

YouTube Arc (this is where shit goes down)

Smg3 and Clove had just started on their goals of making Snitch Productions but after Smg4 destroyed it all for no damn reason (like wtf man?) they wanted revenge and they wanted it bad (Smg3 more so than Clove)

So they came up with the anti-cast and got to work but after that failed Clove said "fuck it" and started her own projects again but she found out about the YouTube remote while she was doing her research ("The World's Cursed and definitely Powerful Objects that would destroy the world if laid on the wrong hands" (great title I know) ) So they all came up with the plan to steal it.

Things had started to take a toll after they had successfully stolen the Remote per sae because now Smg3 was drunk with power to the point where it was kinda concerning Clove a bit and this is the part where Clove found out Smg3's true intentions of using the YouTube remote; It was so much more than taking over Smg4's channel, it was deleting Smg4's and his crew's entire existence. Clove knew it was too much, even for 3 but she kept quiet about her conflicting feelings (but put a pin in this later )

A big-time skip later where Clove had actually caught Mario trying to steal Smg3's phone (to hopefully get everyone out of the graveyard, you probably watched the Arc lmao) but she betrayed Smg3 by giving it to Mario anyway and freeing the entire cast out of the internet graveyard in order to stop Smg3; Everyone was confused why but they didn't ask.

WOTFI 2020 (redemption arc begins)

The final battle was here and after Clove was revealed to be a traitor and helping the Smg4 crew, it's no wonder that Smg3 lost but he was never expecting his assistant, no...someone closest to him like a friend to betray him like that.

Since Clove was the only one who really knew how to work the remote (and she was the one who had it in her hands at the time) she was the one who sent Smg3 to the Internet Graveyard for the greater good of everybody else but now that 3 was gone...she felt like she had no meaning...no purpose anymore...

After she had gotten forgiveness from Susan, Smg4 offered Clove to stay with the rest of them at the castle but she declined and said she would just lock herself up in her lab instead.

Clove's lore goes on for ages...so I'll have to make a part 2

BI GUYS!

(update: there is a part 2)

[shmowder]

If it gives any peace of mind the rumor is he sold ipl and isn’t involved heavily in p3’s development due to addiction related problems. Though I understand that really doesn’t make it any easier to stomach and I feel a similar amount of disgust. It’s all very upsetting and genuinely wouldn’t blame you if you distance yourself from the series as a whole

In the conversation screenshots where he's financially threatning his wife after physically abusing her, he has a black and white picture of himself as his WhatsApp profile.

It's taken in the same black and white style of the Pathologic Classic portraits.

Does he think he's a video game character? Does he ever stop sucking his own dick to realise how vile the things he did? The physical abuse? The grooming?

What a fucking joke of a person, to think I ever respected him as a writer. As a creator. What a pretentious self-centered piece of shit. He created one decent story, and that suddenly means he's the genius of the century? It's just one fucking game. These are real people with real lives involved.

He referred to the son he kidnapped as "his favourite son." since he has other children with different women. What a sick individual.

I don't know what I feel. I feel angry, disgusted, cheated, and horrified. I feel nothing but immense empathy for Renata. I hope she's in a safe place with her son. I hope her son's recovery goes well. I have a niece his age, just the thought of her going through that is making me tear up.

I'll definitely distance myself from Pathologic for a while. I'll keep on eye on this case and follow its development. I hope Ice-pick lodge seperate themselves from him moving forward.

The reddit account of u/thelxr who claims to have worked on P1 and P2 have said the following.

"he is not the studio, and isn't involved much in development since The Void - do NOT take out your anger on the talanted and good people working of Pathologic 3"

The original source and full-length comment are under the cut

But Ice-pick lodge, the company, the developers of the game, the writers, the everything. They don't deserve to be punished for his actions. Likewise, I don't feel comfortable giving money to a company knowing any of it might end up in the pockets of this shithead, since at the end he owns the IP, even if he isn't involved in the current development of P3. I feel conflicted.

This is an old case and not something that suddenly popped up after the announcement of P3. There are evidence, pictures of real people, and legal documents. It's very unlikely any of this is false, but if it is, I'll go back and edit these posts to clarify. However, I won't delete them.

As a former colleague (I worked on Pathologic 1, The Void, Cargo, and a bit of uncredited work on Pathologic 2), I am sad to confirm, that this is most likely true. There is a link to follow the ongoing court considering the child alimony payments, and it looks like there will be another one, considering recent occusations. (As link to Russian websites are banned, see original source in the mod comment. You will need a VPN to go further down the first link in the post to see the court progress, or use google translate on that link to bypass the need for VPNs)

I know Nikolay well, from at least 2006, and unfortunatelly his "misbehaviours" have been an open secret for a long time, on which I didn't comment for two reasons. One - he is not the studio, and isn't involved much in development since The Void - do NOT take out your anger on the talanted and good people working of Pathologic 3. Second - I've been kind of a coward, until I've learnt in 2018 or so, that a girlfriend of mine was also groomed by him, while we were still dating, and since then I broke all ties with Nikolay.

He has been a raging, violent and erratic alcoholic, a sociopath and a pathological liar all these years. I personally know at least 10 people who he harmed directly in relation to public accusations (but it's their stories to tell, not mine). He is a manipulative sociopath, that is very good with words, another reason why these stories only surfaced now.

The reason I'm speaking up right now is because I figured that after the last ephebophilia and grooming accusations, that cost him his job as a univercity teacher, and danger of going to court, he would change his ways. But things have gotten worse and more rotten since then.

There isn't a reliable "reputation institution" in Russian gamedev, but it must start at some point.

I believe the best path for Nikolay would be to leave Ice-Pick Lodge to not tarnish their reputation with his own fuckups, and leave the current studio to work as is - they're doing a great job on Pathologic 3, and they once again should NOT be harrassed for a single person's misdeeds.

-

Source

[sorcerous-caress]

👉👈 uhm could you maybe release a snippet of those fics? Please? 🥺

I’ve deleted and rewritten this ask like 5 times because I’ve never in my life requested smut let alone something like… well that.

-The Ex-Lurker

Anon I am very sorry to inform you that these snippest are as real as santa. I never work on more than one or two fics at a time. And even when I do, i immediately post them the second they're finished.

There is no easter bunny, no queen of England and no Shadowheart degradation snippets.

I have requests for Shadowheart degrading people that i plan on posting after I actually write them, which I have not.

Instead, have this piece I've written just for you as an apology for leading you on <3 i will do it again.

Shadowheart degrades you

[ Smut, degradation, overstimulation, nb!reader, Dom!shadowheart ]

The sound of your voice was all you could hear in the room, raw, breathless, and needy. Hearing the desperation in your own moans made you close your eyes in embarrassment.

"What's wrong?" Shadowheart's soft voice came from above you. Her hand went down to caress your head on her lap.

You choked on your own reply, your body squirming and twitching as yet another orgasm was forced out of you. Her hand between your thighs now drenched with your cum.

"Is it too much for your brain? Is that what this is about?" She didn't even give you a moment to rest before hand started moving again, the same brutal pace that she's been forcing onto you for an hour.

"If only you could see how pathetic you look right now." She didn't take her eyes off of your fucked out face on her lap, she seemed to revel in making you feel that burning shame of being watched.

She still had all of her clothes on, not a hair out of place, while you laid naked below her. She didn't even break a sweat while she continuously toyed and abused your most intimate areas into overstimulation.

"Just how many times did you make a mess already, and you're still cumming?" She stopped overstimulating you long enough to give the inside of your thighs a light slap, making your body jump as a loud whine escaped you.

She laughed, she was laughing at you.

Immediately, you felt yourself getting pushed to the edge of another orgasm, so fast too, you were really losing your mind.

"That pretty head of yours will probably be empty by the time I'm done with you." She caressed your head again, "you won't have any other purpose after. You'll be completely useless."

You were so close, you didn't care about your dignity anymore. You just wanted relief.

"Maybe I should invite all of our friends here, give them front row seats to your little show." She let you grind against her hand, cooing and chuckling as you made another mess, covering the insides of your thighs in your own cum.

But she didn't stop, instead, her hand went back to the same brutal pace if not faster.

The pleasure was too intense. It became too much and borderline painful. Your cries were ignored by Shadowheart as you begged and pleaded for a rest.

"A bitch in heat, that's what you are." The hand on your head pulled your hair in a painful grip as she brought your head closer to her face.

Her hand never stopped, you were full on crying from the burning pleasure. You couldn't control yourself, you couldn't control your voice and you couldn't stop from cumming endlessly on her hand. This was your punishment for overindulgence.

Isn't it her job to cleanse people of their sins as a cleric? Then consider this your atonement for being the whore that you are. For all the lust filled thoughts clouding your brain.

"Say, thank you." Her hold tightned on your hair, "thank me for treating you like you deserve to be treated, and I might let go."

Your nerves were on fire. You barely registered your own words as you thanked her as loudly as you can between your cries. Thanking her for giving a dirty pathetic whore like you the chance to repent and get cleansed.

Both hand let go of you, you head was dropped back into her lap.

"Turn around." She looked at you in disgust, "ass up, face down."

[dykephan]

my thoughts re: how did dan and phil kiss in october and still not start dating until december? from @omatone-dnp's post here :)

i'm sorry in advance for how much forbidden material i'm bringing up here, i feel bad about it which is why i'm putting it under the cut so i can delete this if i want to

so obviously we know they talked online & on skype for months before they decided to meet up in person, and they were heavyyy on the flirting. but we also know that these online spaces were the only places dan and phil were able to be 100% openly queer, so it's natural that they both put on a persona to some extent. this was the time for them to explore who they were & who they wanted to be. dan says he assumed phil would be this super confident smooth guy but then he was awkward and dorky irl, and it was kind of the reverse for phil about dan.

phil might have felt a lot of pressure to be a good example considering he was older, he was someone dan liked on youtube, and phil was one of, if not the first, gay man dan had met. but phil didn't have much romantic experience (...his heart had never done the flippy over thing..............) so i can imagine he felt even more scared of screwing things up. we know he was super nervous the day they met and that he didn't make the first move. i think he wanted to leave that to dan because 1. he didn't know if dan actually liked him or if he was just confused, and 2. he wanted to go at dan's pace for the reasons i mentioned above. we also know that phil had a hard time verbalizing his emotions / understanding them, so he might have wanted to go slower on the romance front too, so he could have time to process everything. he talked quite a bit about how he didn't know where he wanted to go in his life, feeling lost without being in school anymore, and that his family was pressuring him to sort his life out. that's a lot to deal with all at once and adding a serious relationship on top of that can be hard.

for dan, i think the early days were more about finding inner confidence in himself than they were about purposely forming a long term relationship. phil is the one who encouraged dan to make youtube videos, which he'd dreamed about but never thought he would be good enough. phil made him feel safer than he'd felt since he was a tiny child. he introduced him to other queer people and then to his family, who welcomed dan with love (though we don't know how much they actually knew at the time). it was more than just romantic!! it was something dan really needed! :(

at this time, both of them were constantly talking about how they're trying to figure out what to do with their lives, with dan being in his gap year and phil being fresh out of college. it was a transitional period for both of them in very different ways. they weren't even sure if they were going to meet irl, they kept going back and forth about the train tickets for a few months before dan finally bought one. i think as soon as he bought it, he decided he was going to shoot his shot and worry about everything else later.

also, dan was in a relationship with his girlfriend for 3 years, and while we don't know when or how they broke up, he has some tweets indicating that they were still together in 2009 when he began talking to phil online, or at least that dan was still conflicted about the breakup. let me clarify that i'm not saying dan cheated, none of us have any idea what happened and it seems more like their relationship came to a natural conclusion when she moved away for uni, along with all of dan's irl friends which he talked about frequently. i'm more so bringing this up because it marks a shift in how dan talked about love and relationships.

for example, all of these tweets happened in october 2009, right before he met up with phil:

but fast forward to THAT week in december and dan has a completely different perspective on love:

this is the main reason why december makes so much more sense to me as their anniversary. october was about taking a leap of faith even though both of them were afraid of getting it wrong. november was about testing the waters and figuring out how they could logistically make things work, while they were building their bond. december was about finally letting go of all those fears in the pursuit of a happier future for both of them ;-;

[writingquestionsanswered]

how should i go about writing if i keep deleting and restarting everything I have every few minutes ??

The first thing to do is figure out why you feel the need to delete. Here are some things to consider...

1 - Do you know what you're trying to write? It's easy to imagine a writer as sitting down at the keyboard with an empty mind, and then--like turning on a faucet--a story simply flows out of them. But that's not really how writing works. Even the most organic writer sits down with a premise in mind, not to mention a basic grasp of how stories work--or at least they type of story they want to tell. If you sit down without these things and try to write a story, you're pretty much just snatching random ideas out of the air and hoping they take root, and it can be really hard to write a story that way. The solution is to spend some time learning about how stories work, then spend some time thinking up a premise, characters, and a story goal.

2 - Do you need a more solid plan? Not all writers can sit down with only a premise, characters, and story goal and create a story from that. Some of us need to do more planning. Some of us need to do a lot more planning. If you're trying to write a novelette/novella/novel, you might take a look at some different story structure templates to get an idea of the kind of structure that would work well for the story you want to tell. Story structure templates can be a helpful guide in figuring out what beats you need to hit, and you can use elements from different ones. Whatever works for your story. You might also consider doing a plot summary, timeline, scene list, scene cards, or any number of other things to help plan and plot your story.

3 - Are you focusing too much on quality? To (badly) paraphrase Ira Glass, the thing that got you into writing in the first place is your taste... you have good taste in stories, and you know what makes a story good. But if you're just starting out, or if you don't have a large volume of work under your belt, what you're putting out is probably not as good as you want it to be. That can be really, really frustrating, because we know what kind of writing we want to put out there, but when we feel like it's not happening, we want to backspace over it all. The thing is, though, writing is a craft. Like any other craft, the only way to get better at it is to practice, and practice means cranking out the less good stuff and accepting that it's a necessary part of the journey. If dancers watched the choreography for a performance one time and instantly did it perfectly, there would be no such thing as dance practice. If people took one piano lesson and could play a perfect concerto, we wouldn't have piano lessons or practice. So, even when the writing doesn't feel as good as you want it to be--or maybe feels downright awful--you have to push past the urge to backspace over it and get caught up on quality. You have to keep writing forward. And hey... editing and revision exists because there's always room to take the "rough draft" and make it better.

4 - Are you letting yourself get distracted? Few things make writing more difficult than distractions. If you know how stories work, know your premise, have done the planning you need to do, and aren't stressing about quality, but you still find yourself backspacing and starting over every few minutes, it could be due to distractions. If your phone is buzzing every minute, your sister is playing loud music in her room across the hall, the neighbor's dog is barking up a storm, or you can't stop thinking about something that happened at work--those interruptions are going jam up your momentum, and when you're constantly jerking to a stop like that, frustration makes you cranky and you're liable to backspace over something even if it's not a problem. So, if you can, try to eliminate distractions as much as possible when you sit down to write.

5 - Other possibilities... Even if none of the above situations seem to fit, it's still worth taking some time to consider what else might be going on. Can you find a pattern in what you're deleting and why? If you dig deep, and you maybe figure out what the issue is? What are some potential solutions?

I hope something here will help you get to where you're moving forward with your writing again.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

kdnfb's Ten Years of Fanfiction Mania

Featuring: Unmasked

Summary: Written under an Anonymous pseudonym ~M~ to fill the following prompt ~ Historical Katniss and Peeta hate each other. They attend a masquerade ball and for some reason end up kissing each other. Sparks fly everywhere. Katniss tries to find the man behind the mask but Peeta knows it was Katniss though he doesnt say anything. They end up bethrothed even if they 'despise' each other. How they fall in love is up to u and how katniss figured out it was peeta is up to u

Rating: E for explicit sexual content, explicit language, implied/referenced rape/nonconsensual (not everlark), implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced miscarriage, discussions of illness, war, and injury in a historical setting, ptsd, minor character death. They worst of these tags happens offscreen and is merely discussed and dealt with rather than shown here.

A/N: ~Unmasked~ is my longest fic in terms of word count (around 234k), although Outside Chance and Spellbound are not too far behind and are both incomplete. Unmasked started as something meant to be fun and cathartic, then turned into a ridiculously long and self indulgent fic that I still, to this day, have no idea if the anonymous person who submitted the prompt to @everlarkficexchange even read, let alone whether or not they liked it. But I love what I produced for this fic.

Why write it anonymously and only reveal myself later? A couple reasons. 1) Historical is not my wheel house. At least not writing it. I am a shameless consumer of historical romances. I did some research for this fic but not nearly the level I would've liked to have done. Eventually, I said screw it, it's about the vibes not the accuracy. 2) I had a pile of unfinished wips when I started this, to include Outside Chance and Spellbound (both of which are still unfinished hmmmmm) and I really didn't want a lot of questions about when I was going to get back to those while I was working on this because 3) I'd just gone through a small slice of writerly hell to the point that I seriously considered deleting my entire tumblr and all of my fanfic. Details are not important right now, the result is. That's probably the closest I've ever come to calling myself done with fandom.

Then this prompt posted to EFE and wouldn't leave me alone. Eventually, I decided that if I was going to write it, I wanted to write it with as little pressure as possible. So I chose to write and post it as ~M~ until it was finished. Plus, I thought it might make it fun for people other than me if there was a bit of mystery behind it. And I don't regret doing that.

Writing behind a mask allowed me to be as long winded and self-indulgent as I wanted to without worrying about how tight the storyline was or how accurate the historical details were, or wondering if I'd be walking into my tumblr and a barrage of the kind of messages I'd come to dread receiving. The only thing I worried about, really was if the amount and kind of smut I included gave me away prematurely lmao.

While this was my first real foray into the realm of historical fics, I am hoping it's not the last. I've got too many ideas and half started pieces to back out of it now. But those, like this one, will probably remain untethered to a specific real place, and a specific time, mainly because I just don't have that kind of time for research if I'm not getting paid to do it lol. They will be works of love if not works of accuracy.

Unmasked on AO3

[acerathia]

The Apple of my Eye - Behind the Scenes

Summary:

While spending the summer at your grandparent’s place, an accident leads to a fateful encounter with Izuku. Yet you reject this first meeting, seeking to craft a proper first impression. Yes, but what happened behind the scenes of the making of this piece?

Pairing:

Midoriya Izuku / Reader (in the OG)

Wordcount: 2.9k

Read it on AO3 / The Apple of my Eye (OG)

Note:

I just thought it might be fun to write some outtakes and compile the scenes, which didn't make the final cut to the fic, enjoy <3 (also, would be so cool if u checked the OG fic lol)

Outtakes

“Ow, are these apples real?” his voice sounds and you look down at him, a pained expression on his face.

“Oh, no, did I actually hit you?” you clamper down, a giggle evident in your voice.

He supports you as you take a small leap onto the ground. “I thought it was supposed to? I just thought the apples weren’t real…” he answers, his hand rubbing against the tender spot.

You laugh as you carefully pat his hand on that spot. “Izuku, of course it’s going to be a real apple, this is a real tree. Why else would we be doing this outside?”

He simply shrugs with a small pout.

“C’mon, we gotta start over,” you pat his cheek softly, an encouraging smile on your lips, before you look into his eyes and press your lips together to avoid bursting into laughter again.

He puts his tongue out to you, before he begins walking away.

***

“Great take! The choking looked really good, we can move onto the next scene,” you hear the director as you croak one last cough.

“Thanks, but I actually choked,” you mumble, making eye contact with Izuku before bursting into laughter together.

While you both are recovering, still giggling here and there, an assistant hands you some water and asks you if you’re good.

“Yeah, I’m good. At least the realism of this scene cannot be refuted,” you grin as you sip from your water. “Izuku actually noticed and immediately switched up on me.”

“Hey, I was worried for you, but sure, make fun of the poor hero,” he grumbles, but there is a wobble in his voice that betrays his amusement.

Your grin only widens. “I mean, your acting is weak as it is, the realistic situation seemed to help, didn't it?”

He gapes at you, bumping his shoulder into yours. “Now you’re kicking a man already onto the ground.”

You take another sip of water and shove him with a giggle.

***

“Cut!”

You take a deep breath. “Fucking hell, Izuku, you’re going to kill me,” you whine and throw your head back.

“So, you think I should change my hairstyle?

“Shut up!”

***

“Look! It’s beautiful up there, I took pictures!” you wave your phone the moment you step out of the wheel.

“Aren’t you supposed to come out all sad?”

“Oh, fu–”

Deleted Scenes

“Hello! Should we go in?”, he asked and held the door open.

You nodded and went inside, asking him what kind of smoothie he’d like. With his preferred beverage, you went to the cashier to order your drinks, while he found you a place to sit outside. You thought you were going to sit inside, but maybe he noticed you enjoying the weather. You had to giggle at his thoughtfulness.

After the drinks were ready, you grabbed them and went looking for him. He was already sitting under a parasol, waving at you to get your attention. You immediately joined him, putting the drinks on the table before sitting down.

“Here we go. I’m glad you could make it.”, you said with a slight smile, trying not to get distracted by his brilliant and dazzling eyes and smile. It was difficult, especially considering that you didn’t meet since that event, but rather texted. You felt quite shy, almost like he was another person.

“Yeah, me too. To be honest I was quite nervous.”, he answered with a shy giggle, rubbing his neck and you had to control yourself not to squeal.

After some exchanged words you both started talking like you had been acquainted for some time. Even if you technically knew each other, it was different to talk in person. You noticed so many quirks about him, which made you like him more, not that you were ever going to tell him anyway. But you enjoyed his explanations, his analysis of whatever topic he started talking about. You just liked to listen to him being excited about his favorite things and you decided to do some research about the topics, making mental notes. And you couldn’t help but like the way he moved his scarred, calloused hands, almost like they were helping him with his explanations. Sometimes you would also tlak about your interests, and he always listened, never interrupted, even if he had something to say. Exchanging these topics you began to discuss different things at such a depth, you never had the same possibility with anyone else. He seemed to hold so much knowledge and you admired that a lot. He even knew about your major in university, almost as good as you did.

While enjoying this talk, you couldn’t help but feel guilty about the first time you saw him. The accident about the apple. You had the urge to tell him about your involvement, before you both got too deep into this. And with that before you got too deep into this between you. You could escape a crush, but even a tiny step more towards love? You would be heartbroken for the rest of your life.

So you took a deep breath. “Midoriya-kun, I need to tell you something… I’ve met you before that event at the stall… Even if it wasn’t really… meeting, more like… Uh… The day before, didn’t an apple fall onto your head?”, you stuttered, not having planned this at all. You then continued speaking when he slowly nodded, a furrow appearing between his eyebrows. His bottom lip slightly jutting out and you erred for a moment, getting distracted.

You shook your head to get yourself out of your daze. “Yes! Uhm, that was me… Sorry! I didn’t see you and… and just let the apple fall… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”, you apologized, bowing your head. “And… and I didn’t tell you earlier, because I- uh, I wanted you to like me, is that weird?”

A breath escaped you and you stared at the table in front of you. At least he could get mad and it was over, before you completely lost yourself. But he didn’t raise his voice or leave, no, rather he started giggling.

“Hm, I knew it was you. I looked up, you weren’t hidden that well. And, well, I approached you the day after with purpose too, so I guess we’re even?”, he smiled and cocked his head.

Your head snapped up and you looked at him, mouth opening and closing, before deciding on a ‘what?’.

“You were interesting, and I wanted to get to know you”, he shrugged and leaned back, his giggles directed at your shocked face.

You leaned forward and slapped his arm slightly. “That’s so mean! Do you know how much I thought about that?”, you pouted while softly slapping him over and over again.

He just gave you a broad grin and took your hand into his. “Yeah? You already paid for that smoothie. How about I compensate you? Join me for the summer festival.”

His suggestion felt like a punch to the face, to the gut, a punch in general. He was a boxer and you were nothing but that training equipment he regularly beat. And for some reason you didn’t mind, as long as he gave you that brilliant, beautiful smile, you would agree with anything he said. So you nodded, feeling his thumb rubbing against your skin.

And suddenly the warmth was gone and he was clapping his hands together. “Awesome!”

After that he acted like he didn’t just manipulate you into agreeing (who were you kidding, you would have agreed even if he hated you guts). You both deviated into other topics, finishing your drinks. And even if your glasses were finished, you both remained at your seats, increasing the word count with every minute.

You both only noticed the time passing when the shopkeeper had to remind you of their closing time in fifteen minutes. You both immediately apologized, leaving the table and bringing the glasses back to the front desk.

Looking at the time you decided to go home, not wanting to say goodbye but having to. It seemed like he didn’t want the day to be over just yet, as he suggested walking you home. It was getting dark and there were no lamps on the streets, couldn’t have you walking on your own. And you agreed, excited to talk to him some more.

And maybe you took the long way back and maybe he knew, and maybe you both walked as slow as possible, but none of you spoke about it and none of you cared. So you let the evening welcome the night and before you knew it, you were looking at the clear sky with him at your side. He seemed to know a lot about constellations too, so he started showing them to you, sometimes stepping closer to make it more accurate. And you liked his warmth by your side and the brushes of your hands, and your heart was beating inside you, you were afraid he could hear it, if he stepped any closer.

You almost cursed the moment the cottage came into your sight, but you reminded yourself to maybe ask him on any star seeing soon. After your date at the summer festival maybe. You thought he would like that. Maybe. And maybe you were thinking too much and getting too much into it.

You bid him goodbye, wanting to hug him, but realizing that you both weren’t at that stage yet. So you just waved and waited until the night swallowed him to go inside.

***

And despite your attempts of avoiding villains and fights, it seemed like such situations were a normal occurrence, and unavoidable. You cursed your company and their choices. But with every fight you learned more about this hero-culture, and it resembled the celebrity culture in the early 21st century in the US. With polls, merch and websites. You even stumbled across fanfiction, and you had to admit, these were quite enjoyable.

You also discovered who that Deku was. The current number one hero. Which was weird, because every time you encountered him when in crossfire, he seemed to fumble a lot. Were all heroes like this? You had wondered. But no, the other heroes seemed more confident, one even yelled at you. Despite your lack in the language, you could recognize the signs of curses, and you were about to deck him, but you weren’t there on vacation. If you were, he would at least have a bruise somewhere before they could put you in a police car. But alas, you needed to keep the company image intact.

So you minded your own business. Or at least you tried to. This place seemed to hate you, because how else were you supposed to explain your current situation?

You just were craving some kind of chocolate, and decided to leave the house to go to the next convenience store. And you found the exact stuff you needed to settle in front of your laptop with a good movie, and maybe you bought more than just chocolate, but nobody had to know. And you were so excited for your relaxed night, you didn’t notice the people sneaking up behind you, or they used some kind of quirk, you weren’t quite sure. The thing was, you fainted, for some reason, effectively losing your food to the harsh ground. And you only realized your loss after you woke up in a dark space, tied to a chair. You immediately cursed through the tissue inside of your mouth. You spent money on your food, and now the rats were having a feast. Were there any rats in this place? You weren’t sure, but someone else was enjoying your food, and you disliked the thought.

You started thrashing, trying to get whoever did this to you to notice you. And a person with some weird mask approached you, and assuming you did get kidnapped, he probably was a villain. He started talking to you, monologuing like an old school villain. How many movies do these people watch? This was getting ridiculous. After he finished, he pulled the knot out of your mouth, expecting some kind of coherent answer, something like ‘you won’t get away with this’ or ‘a hero will help me’. But you didn’t know what exactly he said in the first place, so you opened your mouth. And started to talk incoherently, just blurting all of your thoughts out, in every possible language you knew. And he didn’t seem to know any of them.

“No! Why… My food… I’m so hungry! Did I leave the stove on? Do I have a stove? I don’t remember… Uhhh, the company is at fault, shoulda gotten myself any kind of insurance, this sucks…”, you just said, and you didn’t stop talking, until he put the tissue back into your mouth, trying to choke your voice out, but you continued talking, or just making random noises, just to mess with him.

You started to think he was regretting this, and you hoped he would just let you go, when he left the room again. You got silent the moment the door closed behind him. There was no reason for you to look around and look for any possible exits, your joints were practically glued to the chair and you doubted you could free yourself without breaking some bones. And that would make you incapable of running. So the ideal case would be a hero arriving, the less ideal case would be you tricking him, in any possible way. And honestly, you wanted to avoid that, because if captured, it could mean a worse experience in this place.

And annoying him might just work well enough. But apparently not good enough, as he came back and began to build something in front of you, some kind of tripod and a camera- oh. He was holding you hostage, but you didn’t even know for what or why. There was no reason for anyone to hold you hostage, unless they were from another pharma company, but they shouldn’t even be aware of the current negotiations. You really hoped it wasn’t due to your carelessness, because the company will blame you and not help you in any case. Which sucked. But you had no other choice but to pull through. Somebody would do anything, at least your country, because you were a citizen.

Still didn’t make the situation better, especially when he turned the camera on and grabbed your head to pull it up, for some reason. You already were looking straight up, but you supposed he wanted some kind of power feeling or whatever.

He was monologuing again, this time into the camera. You just rolled your eyes and leaned back into your chair, staring at the ceiling and zoning out. How many times had you been kidnapped already? Too many times for sure, but usually it was connected to your work and usually the kidnapper was the concurrence, not some kind of villain.

He didn’t like the outcome or your reaction, why else would he punch your face? You bit on your tongue and you wanted to spit onto his shoes, but he still had you gagged. So you just gave him a disappointed stare, and he just went and turned the camera off. Maybe he was beginning to realize that you didn’t understand him, because he didn’t even address you anymore. He just left.

You were alone in a dimmed room. There was nothing for you to do but to make up some scenarios in your head, these fanfictions you read really influenced you. You would love to sleep, but you would rather not get a kink in your neck. That would be really uncomfortable when you would start working later on. Even if it would probably take awhile for someone to actually get you.

Or so you thought. Because it probably only took a couple of hours for someone to sneak through the door. You had to blink a couple of times, because the number one hero was in front of you, and it was ridiculous, it was nothing but a kidnapping, they didn’t have to get someone like him involved. Unless the company demanded that, maybe they did. Well, no matter how it happened, he was releasing you from the ropes. You rubbed your joints to get some circulation back and immediately walked to the door, telling the hero you were ready to go. He probably hadn’t expected anyone to adjust like that, but time wasn’t on your side and you would rather be gone before the villain notices.

Outtakes of deleted scenes

“Yes! Uhm, that was me… Sorry! I didn’t see you and… and just let the apple fall… I didn’t mean to hurt you.” “That’s a lie, you saw me! And you didn’t tell me it was a real apple!” he raises his voice with accusation.

“I cannot believe you would blame me for your own incompetence! Who would go to an apple tree and NOT expect real apples?” you counter immediately.

For a moment you both just glare at each other before bursting into laughter.

“Why did you go off script?” you ask with a sigh, yet the corners of your lips still wobble dangerously.

“I need to tell the truth, everyone needs to know what kind of person you are!”

***

“No! Why… My food… I’m so hungry! Did I leave the stove on? Do I have a stove? I don’t remember–,” you burst out laughing before you could finish your little monologue. “Sorry! Sorry! Why am I talking about stoves in the first place?”

The person in front of you doubles over and you can hear laughter from their direction too.

“I am hungry though, can someone feed me? I’m kind of in a situation right now, you know?”

You grin as more laughter sounds, looking around with expectation in your eyes.

[emryses]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @mustlovesteve tysm!! i checked, and turns out i did this last november, too, so this will be a fun little comparison!

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 46!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 512,645!!!!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

main ones are dead boy detectives & stranger things (specifically steddie lbr) rn!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you looking at me, looking at you

run your fingers through my hair

you will never be unloved by me (you are too well tangled in my soul) -- i know this one is new!! dead boys ily.

eat me alive

when the party's over

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes! i try my very very best to respond to all of them, especially on newer fics. i usually fall behind on older fics/don't prioritize responding as much, but if there's one that is really kind/really touches me i always make a note to respond.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i've written a lot of depressing shit for the merlin fandom. i think winter always turns to spring might be one of the saddest all around, though.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

my hairdresser!steve fics are the happiest/fluffiest things i've ever written. but most of my fics have a happy ending! i think maybe memoria has one of the happiest tho?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really. i got One troll comment on a fic a few months ago that i just deleted and blocked lol.

9. Do you write smut?

every once in a while! i don't feel i'm very good at it, so it takes me a loooong time to write it when i do.

10. Do you write crossovers?

not in the traditional sense of combining fandoms, but if my btvs au counts as a crossover then yes?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! winter always turns to spring was translated into portuguese!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i've thrown around the idea with friends before (pax....mona....if u see this....hiiiiiii)

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

this is such a rude question tbqh !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm going to default back and say merthur, because they were the one and only and a constant in my life for so long. (steddie and payneland make me so fucking crazy tho)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

there is a steddie wip called "tightly hidden fists" i started in LITERALLY july 2022. it's still sitting in my google docs at 20k+ and i'm starting to doubt if i'll ever finish it. i keep considering signing up for a round of a steddie bang or something but i'm scared to do that to myself again lmfao.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i'm very good at dialogue, and getting The Voice of the character down. those things are usually what come to me first when i'm writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

for lack of a better word...filler? transitionary bits of fic. i overuse phrases/words like a madman, i also think i am a victim of trying to be too flowery when i can just, like, tone it the fuck down. are those weaknesses????

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if it's easily translatable sentences (short and sweet, nothing too complicated) i put in the language in italics. (like, bonjour.) but frankly, i tend to avoid putting other languages in my fics. i don't often need to, and since i don't speak any language other than english i don't want to butcher anything if i can help it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

probably the peter pan self insert i wrote many times between the ages of like 8-12.

20. Favorite fics you've written?

fields of gold mention. my love letter to bbcm. i'm also very proud of memoria, my 2023 steddie bang.

low pressure tags for @queerofthedagger @insane-ohwhyfandoms @wolfiery @babyseraphim

[merlucide]

HIII!! okay i saw your post abt having four months to “look good” and just to preface — i’m sure you’re already absolutely beautiful regardless but as someone who kind of did smth similar i figured i would share what helped me lose weight and look better and be sustainable about it without being restrictive or unhealthy (since that’ll lead to rebounding and regaining the weight as well as a host of other possible health issues which we don’t want 🙂‍↔️). disclaimer i’m in no way considered a professional or anything this is just what happened to work for me!! so take it w a pinch of salt (and also i hope this isn’t intrusive or rude or anything 😰 ik you asked for help but also idk since we’re not mutuals or anything i hope i don’t sound like a jerk or weird KFDNKSS feel free to delete if i do!!)

so the biggest thing to remember is no food is necessarily bad or good it’s really about portion control and eating things in moderation!! i’ve lost weight while having chips and dessert every day 😭 if you want to be super scientific and guarantee you’ll lose weight you can calculate how many calories per day you need to maintain your current weight and then figure out what deficit you need to be in to lose it (lots of calculators online to figure this out) and measure food appropriately but to be honest this can make eating stressful and it’s a very hard mindset to break out of even once you’re at your “goal” so def be careful with that!! honestly just being cognizant of what you eat and only eating when you’re hungry instead of bored/thirsty (top tip is just drink a glass of water when you think you’re hungry and if you’re still hungry afterwards then you should 100% eat!! and if not then you were probs dehydrated) would probably be sufficient too

in terms of working out (resident gym lover here) the key is that it’s better to go less times but be consistent than trying to go everyday and burning out and quitting entirely!! i go to the gym 2-3x a week and then i have a horseback riding lesson once a week so i never really exercise more than 3 or 4 times a week which would probably make hardcore gym bros freak out but 🤷🏻‍♀️…if i’m ever too busy and miss a day (or an entire week LMAO) i don’t freak out either because muscle memory is strong and you won’t lose everything that quickly!! just get back to it when you can and remember that even going and only doing half of your exercises is better than doing none at all (i had a lot of trouble w the all or nothing mindset where if i didn’t feel up to doing EVERYTHING i was like ok well might as well not go but it’s been really helpful to remember that a lighter day is better than nothing)

as for the actual exercises i do i usually warm up with cardio which isn’t necessarily recommended but i do what i want and what works for me so idgaf 😭 when i first started working out i would go on the treadmill at a 12 incline and 3 speed for anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes depending on my mood but now i usually do a 15 incline because 12 is too easy…this is def dependent on you though find what works for you/what you enjoy and stick with that!! in order to get the “toned” look you’ll have to lift weights…trust me i hated the idea of lifting at first but it’s honestly pretty fun and you don’t have to go crazy!! i just use dumbbells KDJFJSJS nothing massive by any means just enough that i feel like my muscles are actually working 🤩 you don’t have to do a ton of exercises or use a million machines or anything either — just pick a few that you like doing and that target diff parts of your body (i really like RDLs, squats, and lateral pull downs) and stick w those ‼️ there’s also a million beginner’s guides to lifting with videos for form and all online that you can access for free too so definitely a lot of resources 🤞🏻 but if you’re not into the whole treadmill + lifting vibe then just pick any form of exercise you enjoy and be consistent with it because again even if it’s not as perfectly suited to weight loss or toning or whatever you will get 1000x more results if you keep exercising than if you do smth you don’t enjoy and quit within a couple of days

ALSO make sure to stretch after you workout!! i think i read somewhere that you build 300% more muscle if you stretch after exercising which idk if that’s true or not but why not do it if ykwim…also it helps if you’re lifting because your muscles can get tight and be more sore if you don’t stretch them out afterwards 😨 and music always helps like if you listen to hype music (i always go for meghan thee stallion) it makes working out sm more fun and enjoyable!! and as a side note i know personally i struggled a lot w gym anxiety and even now i hate being perceived at the gym but you really just have to remember that everyone there is doing there own thing and you have just as much of a right to be there as anyone else!! so ignore anyone who’s being annoying but also keep in mind that you’re probably overthinking it and no one is really concerned w what you’re doing ☝🏻

OKAY that was so much omg like i said if any of this doesn’t resonate def disregard it and also if you feel uncomfortable please feel free to ignore and delete this!! i wish you luck and you’ve got this i’m rooting for you!! but please remember that things like weight are arbitrary and at the end of the day the most important thing is how you feel about yourself — as long as you believe you are a baddie you will exude baddie energy no matter what 🙂‍↕️

oh my goodness

thank you so much 😭😭

This is seriously so, so so helpful 😭🙏

ugh this makes me feel so much better tysm😭 seriously this is such great advice tysm for taking the time to tell me this

I head to the gym about 2-3x a week I’d say and focus on legs and cardio ig?? I’ll def do the incline on the treadmill (weights scare me but I’ll woman up 🫡)

tysm for all of this info + and the kind words you made me feel very good 😭🙏

edit: do you know any good free websites to find which deficit I should do? 🫠

[zundamind]

wow, would you look at that! it's been a full ass year since you fucked me over! september 29th.... yeahh..... XD our fuck-you-versary! hi clifford!

in case you dont remember, the name piko might jog your mind. yeah thats me!! hellwo!! honestly you shouldve known better than to stick with your old username but hey props on you for changing it last minute! almost didnt find you for a second lolll!!

i wanted to drop in and say HEY! HELLO! HI! and give you some status updates :3

update one: i'm getting better!! no thanks to you, of course. and actually i should say we're getting better. yep! thats what happens when you suffer so bad your brain cant take suffering solo! XD

update two: while my mental health has been at an all time low ever since you fucking dropped me like a fucking ROCK, ive been getting over things lately! my clean streaks are now longer than a week! i no longer want to kms! im even making friends again!

update three: while both of the above statements are true, you still live in my mind rent free. i remember when i first stumbled across your blog a few months ago, i had a full on spiral! not anymore, though. i am STEEL, BABY! also you spinning in the mental microwave rent free is why i'm sending you this heartfelt ask!

man.... even when i try, i still find you somehow and its never intentional. like imagine scrolling the tptm tag only to be straight up jumpscared by your ex best friend's username! how embarrassing!

also i'm sorry but i have to say the reason(s) you left are sooo fucking stupid..... what, cus i was weird? come on. everyones a little weird. even a little deviantart weird. oh and because of some stupid opinions that shouldntve even mattered if you were actually a friend? get real, trey. what if i left your ass because you had a fuckin biting kink? that wouldve been funny actually. like making a sad callout post on twitter thats just "my friend left me because i wasnt vanilla enough!" XDDD

oh, and if you ever see your "stalker" again, assuming you're not thinking its me and that its actually your previous qpr or whatever the fuck, say hi! i find it funny as FUCK, since, you know, you were considering cyberstalking me at one point. and tell chaos i said hi too. i'd also mention mayu, but do you two even keep in touch anymore? probably not, considering the weird things she's done.

anyways thats the end of my relay. if you dont want these kinds of asks again, i suggest either turning asks off or just straight up deleting your tumblr and/or making another one that is NOT connected to any username youve used in the past, because in that case i'll just find your ass again lmaooo. remember! every year on this day will be the day i remind you that you are NOT allowed to stay sane X3

sincerely, your most hated, piko. (i hardly use my old blog anymore, so have fun finding my current blog! and do what you want with this ask, make a callout post, scream into the ethers, reply to it, idc.)

this should stay private but idc

i know what i did was wrong piko! i was 12-13.

dont take this as me excusing myself. i had horrible emotional regulation back then, ive healed from everything back there. you dont deserve to be called out because ur like. 14-15.

do not bring mayu or chaos into this,weve all healed and forgot abt you.

i overreacted bc of very worthless things because i was basically obsessed witj you, you were my fp, if you didnt know.

completely forgot you even existed, i havent been checking your profiles at all in months. you shouldnt either, please forget about me. you'll drive yourself crazy.,

if you think im going to "cancel" you, no im not. for your sake, please dont interact with me anymore. i apologize for how i acted over stupid things, but we were both young and idiotic. im also a system, i dont even remember half of the things you did bc of that.

move on. ive moved on, weve all moved on.

dont bother yourself with me, you dont need to.