#i did an unhealthy amount of research for things that only appear in the background

[melisusthewee]

Happy Friday Mel!! How about something for Cassandra/m!Trevelyan + "Cutting their hair for them." from the wordless ways to say i love you?

I spent ages working on this prompt fill only to re-read the prompt and go, "Oh... well... no one actually gets their hair cut" but you'll see why at the end and I still have to say I'm really proud of this piece and I think it was at least in the spirit of this prompt. Which I very much enjoyed receiving, thank you! It was a fantastic excuse to write some post-whump fluff.

Consider this a much later sequel to this prompt fill. Will I ever write the larger fic? I have no idea.

For @dadrunkwriting Word Count: 2,304

Quinn Trevelyan makes an irritable sound as Cassandra wrings warm water out of a fresh cloth.  He isn't looking at her, instead staring out one of the room's large windows.  His brow is furrowed and his jaw is set in a profile that is as handsome as it is unhappy.

He's not cross with her.  She'd know it if he was.  He is upset with himself and Cassandra's reassurances that there is nothing wrong with resting, that the road to recovery from an illness as severe as his is long and slow.  But Quinn is tired of his bed, of his room, of the ragged and unkempt beard creeping across his face, and hair that hasn't been properly washed in weeks.

His stern expression softens when Cassandra begins to dab the cloth against his neck and shoulder, but only reluctantly.  He doesn't complain - not to her, at least - but she knows he wants to.

"This is only until you get your strength back," she says, as she has said to him every time she does something for him that she knows he would rather do himself.

"It is back.  It is just... short-lived."

"Perhaps we should keep that a secret," she replies with a quiet smile.

Quinn turns to look at her, confused for a moment before he narrows his eyes at her.  "My lady, that is hardly what I meant."

"It was a joke, my love."

"You need to work on those."

"I thought it was funny," Cassandra replies, taking one of Quinn's hands in her own to hold out his arm for her.

He complies, intertwining his fingers with her own without a sound.  He gives a little squeeze likely to insist upon how he is better, he is fine, and he doesn't need to have someone bathe him like this.  But it does not have the effect he hopes for.

The Inquisitor has always been a lean man, but his prolonged illness has made him lose an unhealthy amount of weight.  It will be a while before he gets it all back, particularly as his appetite is still only slowly returning in stages - the half-drunk cup of tea long grown cold that sits by the bedside is proof of this.  With his limb extended as it is, she can see the atrophied muscles that shift as he does.  His skin still has an unhealthy pallor to it, and the bruises and markings from all the initial attempts by the surgeon to purge the illness that circulated in his blood are still visible.

She has to remind herself that it is behind them.  He is better now, mending, on the slow road to recovery.  There is some colour returned to his cheeks, and while his eyes are bruised and sunken, a spark shines within in a brightness that is unmatched.  When she looks at him, he smiles and she can see the familiar lines crinkling at the corner of his eyes.  The man she loves perseveres.

But it is hard not to look at him and think about all the days and nights spent keeping vigil - of holding a hand that was clammy and weak and did not always squeeze back, of listening to fevered mutterings that became increasingly incomprehensible, of a man who at the worst of it looked so small and fragile and as helpless as she felt.

She pushes down these thoughts as she works.  With one arm done, she moves on to the next before telling him to pull back the blanket and turn onto his side for her.  He does so, without complaint at first, but as Cassandra tends to his back and tries not to notice how sharply his shoulder blades press against his skin, Quinn seems unable to help himself.

"You could make this a bit more exciting."

"I would not want you to feel inadequate with your short-lived strength."

Quinn gives her a look over his shoulder that tells her he very much regrets his earlier choice of words.

He continues to grumble to himself even as he turns back away from her.  It sounds like it is for show more than anything else, but he then jumps suddenly when she dips down towards his lower back.

"Cassandra, I must insist you let me do the rest myself!"

"It isn't anything I haven't already seen."

"That's not the point."  He pulls away from her, sitting back up in his bed, and holding the covers tightly over himself.  The stern look from earlier is back on his face but this time it's directed at her.  "I don't see why I can't just go and have a proper bath!"

Cassandra raises an eyebrow at him skeptically and pushes her chair back a little ways from his bedside.  She gestures nearby to the ladder leading up to the little loft built into the room where Quinn had decided to have a private bathing area set up.  The ladder is the only way up or down.  She knows it is a simple climb under most circumstances, but Quinn is not under most circumstances right now.

"I can help you up or down a staircase.  I cannot help you with a ladder.  You can make it up there on your own? And back down when you've finished?"

Quinn's jaw is set defiantly.  When he is in this way, Cassandra thinks this must be what it is like to deal with a child.  In this instance, it is a very tall and bearded child who throws off the blankets and jumps to his feet in a flourish of naked glory.

Much to Cassandra's prediction and concern, Quinn almost immediately swoons and she is up on her feet to catch and steady him before he completely collapses to the floor.  He's dead weight in her arms, looking dazed and dizzy for a moment before his expression slowly clears.  He has not quite blacked out after all, but it was close.

"That was very foolish of you," she says, coaxing him gently into a sitting position on the edge of his bed.

There is a defeated slouch to Quinn's shoulders that make him look even smaller and thinner than he is.  He can't meet her eyes - or he won't meet her eyes - and sighs, completely dejected.

"Can't I at least be saved this one indignity?" he asks.

Cassandra frowns though it is not an unkind expression.  She hates to see him like this just as much as he does, if not more.  The Quinn Trevelyan she knows and loves is tall and sure-footed, flamboyant and energetic, an absolute terror and menace.  She can see how his current limitations weigh on him, how uncomfortable he is with being forced to admit and show any sort of vulnerability.

"Alright," she says, gently this time.  "I will leave you to finish while I get fresh water.  And we can then do something about your hair."

"Thank you," he says.  And she knows that he means it.

She takes her time climbing the ladder into the loft and fetching things for his hair.  She knows where everything is kept - she's used the Inquisitor's special dwarven-constructed bath enough times to know which soap is kept where - but she chooses to allow Quinn a moment alone in order for the storm cloud threatening his mood to pass.

When she returns, Quinn has left his bed again although this time he appears to have taken more care and settled himself in her vacated chair.  He's retrieved a small mirror and seems singularly focused on his appearance.  Every now and then a hand reaches out to comb strands of hair out of his eyes.  A deep frown is etched in his face that seems to linger even as he looks up at her approaching footsteps.

"I look terrible.  Why did no one tell me I look terrible?"

Cassandra does not think he looks terrible at all.  He looks tired, he looks thinner than usual, and considering his lack of modesty she thinks he looks rather cold.  But she knows these are not what Quinn is complaining about.  She isn't certain if the growth on his face can truly be called a proper beard, but his moustache and chin have gotten considerably thicker and longer.  It is uneven in places and while there isn't much more than patchy-looking growth on most of his cheeks, what she can only describe as scruff has spread along his jaw.  It is in her opinion somehow both adorable and rugged.

"You just need a good wash," Cassandra says, setting the basin and jug on a nearby table.  "And perhaps a comb through it."

"I must protest, Lady Seeker," he says, though he takes the basin when she offers it to him and bows his head over it obediently.  "You know I'm very particular about my hair."

"Do you not trust me?  Shall I instead ask Sera to see to you?  She cuts her own hair as well."

Quinn's protest is immediate, his head snapping up to glower at her.  You wouldn't dare, he says wordlessly as he stares at her.  Cassandra simply rolls her eyes and pushes his head back down so that she can begin.

She uses the water sparingly at first - just enough to wet his hair before beginning to lather soap into it.  Quinn's strict particularities about his grooming rituals mean that every bottle of soap and oil and lotion is clearly labeled.  Even so, he mumbles the names of products to her and what they should smell like lest she grab one in the wrong order.  But eventually, the tension in his shoulders seems to dissipate and he simply sits with his head bowed, cradling the catch basin in his arms, soothed by the feeling of Cassandra's fingers working through his hair.  She thinks she even hears the softest of sighs or a happy little sound of contentment.

The scent of cloves and rosemary mixed into Quinn's soap soon fills the air.  It is crisp and refreshing, the first thing to finally overtake the smell of sickness that still clung to him.  It's a cleaner and brighter sort of herbal scent that is sharp and alive.  Cassandra is much more fond of it than the bitter smell of nightshade from the tea he'd been fed, or the earthy smell of Vivienne's tonics and the surgeon's leeches.

She works the soap evenly through his hair, being careful to keep it out of his eyes and from dribbling down the back of his neck as much as possible.  Once she is satisfied with her work, she gently pours the pitcher of warm water over his head, continuing to run her fingers through his hair to gently rinse away the lather.

"You see?" she teases once she's finished, reaching for a nearby towel to gently dry his hair.  "You've survived.  I haven't drowned you."

Quinn chuckles for the first time, a sound she admits that she has missed from him and one that never ceases to cause her heart to flutter.  "May I sit up now, my lady?  Or do you wish for me to remain bent over for you a while longer?"

Cassandra makes a dismissive sound at the back of her throat and gives his head a bit of a rougher rub than she should for a moment before draping the towel around his shoulders.  He can't see it but she is smiling.  "The world will be pleased to hear your cheek has not suffered nor your tongue lost any of its boldness."

Quinn grins as he sits up and looks at her, an impish expression on his face.  Cassandra rolls her eyes at him - more for show than for anything else - before setting down the pitcher and picking up a nearby comb in order to tend further to his hair.

"Do you know which side to part it on?" he asks suddenly, almost as if he can't help himself.

"Are you going to ask me next if I know what colour your eyes are?"

Quinn frowns slightly, realizing his misstep and hastily offers a sheepish apology.  For a moment, Cassandra is tempted to comb back his hair and part it on the wrong side anyway - either to tease him further or to make a point - but decides against it.  He wouldn't look right anyway.

"There is still the matter of my face," he says as she struggles with a lock of hair on his forehead that seems determined to misbehave.

"The Inquisitor has decided to trust me now?  I've proven my worth by washing his hair?"

Quinn smiles, but it is a soft and almost subdued look with none of his earlier cheek.  "Perhaps I realize that I enjoy this.  Sitting here with you.  The two of us."

Oh.

His earnesty is unexpected but not at all unwanted.  Quinn is normally so flippant with his words, a man of smiles and humor and action that so very rarely seems capable of expressing himself from the heart.  Of course she knows he enjoys her company but it is something else entirely to hear it said to her like he does now.

She smiles back at him in turn, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear before gently taking his face in her hands.  He leans into her touch, saying nothing but looking at her with eyes that seem so expressive that he doesn't need to say anything at all.  She knows what he means.  And she is glad for it.

"Perhaps..." she says slowly, brushing her thumbs across cheeks dotted with long-faded freckles and the barest hints of scruff at the edges.  "Perhaps you can live with this for one more day?"

"This time, I think I will survive," Quinn replies with a breathless little laugh.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOUR EMPLOYEES AND INVESTORS WILL CONSTANTLY BE ASKING ARE WE THERE YET

I think I've figured out what's going on. After the first 10 or so we learned to treat deals as background processes that we should ignore till they terminated.1 Don't Get Your Hopes Up. Something hacked together means something that barely solves the problem, the harder it is to bait the hook with prestige. And that is almost certainly mistaken. So one thing that falls just short of the standard, I think, should be the highest goal for the marginal. Big companies think the function of office space is to express rank. As big companies' oligopolies became less secure, they were willing to pay a premium for labor. You can see it in old photos. If you're friends with a lot of the worst kinds of projects are the death of a thousand cuts. And what's especially dangerous is that many happen at your computer.

And the microcomputer business ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. In 1450 it was filled with the kind of turbulent and ambitious people you find now in America. You have to like what they do there than how much they can get the most done. That's not what makes startups worth the trouble. Design This kind of metric would allow us to compare different languages, but that if someone wanted to design a language explicitly to disprove this hyphothesis, they could probably do it. This technique can be generalized to: What's the best thing you could be doing, not just what you can see the results in any town in America. With this amount of money can change a startup's funding situation completely. There I found a copy of The Atlantic. Whereas it's easy to get sucked into working longer than you expected at the money job.2 That's ok. I think you have to do all three. But more importantly, you'll get into the habit of doing things well.

But what if the person in the next 40 years will bring us some wonderful things.3 They all know about the VCs who rejected Google. The writing of essays used to be.4 You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.5 He improvises: if someone appears in front of him, he runs around them; if someone tries to grab him, he spins out of their grip; he'll even run in the wrong place, anything might happen. The people who've worked for a few months I realized that what I'd been unconsciously hoping to find there was back in the place I'd just left. It was supposed to be something else, they ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. By 2012 that number was 18 years. The first thing you need is to be willing to look like a fool.6 Google they have a fair amount of data to go on. John Malkovich where the nerdy hero encounters a very attractive, sophisticated woman.

Many of the big companies were roll-ups that didn't have clear founders.7 Empirically, the way to the bed and breakfast, and other similar classes of accommodations, you get to hit a few difficult problems over the net at someone, you learn pretty quickly how hard they hit them anyway. Inexperienced founders make the same mistake as the people who list at ABNB, they list elsewhere too I am not negative on this one was the only way to get lots of referrals is to invest in students, not professors. It will actually become a reasonable strategy or a more reasonable strategy to suspect everything new.8 Never say we're passionate or our product is great. Whereas undergraduate admissions seem to be disappointments early on, when they're just a couple guys in an apartment. Programmers at Yahoo wouldn't have asked that.9 Incidentally, this scale might be helpful in deciding what to study in college. VCs think they're playing a zero sum game.

I spend most of my time writing essays lately. Almost everyone's initial plan is broken. If smaller source code is the purpose of comparing languages, because they come closest of any group I know to embodying it. Distracting is, similarly, desirable at the wrong time. But if we make kids work on dull stuff now is so they can get away with atrocious customer service. In fact, here there was a kid playing basketball? Of course, figuring out what you like.

Go out of your way to bring it up e. The industry term here is conversion. Try to keep the sense of wonder you had about programming at age 14. At least if you start a startup, people treat you as if you're unemployed.10 But hacking is like writing. Even with us working to make things happen the way they used to, they were moving to a cheaper apartment. It causes you to work not on what you like, but is disastrously lacking in others. I do in the rest of the world. Their defining quality is probably that they really love to program.

I could only figure out what to do, there's a natural tendency to stop looking.11 Economies of scale ruled the day.12 One is that this is simply the founders' living expenses.13 I need to transfer a file or edit a web page, and I think I know what is meant by readability, and I think they're onto something. Multiply this times several hundred, and I get an uneasy feeling when I look at my bookshelves. You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.14 Everyday life gives you no practice in this. Startups grow up around universities because universities bring together promising young people and make them work on anything they don't want to want, we consider technological progress good.

Notes

Samuel Johnson said no man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money. Which is precisely my point. If they were regarded as 'just' even after the egalitarian pressures of World War II the tax codes were so new that the guys running Digg are especially sneaky, but except for money. They don't know enough about the new top story.

The image shows us, they tended to make money. But we invest in the Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and one of the fake leading the fake leading the fake. In No Logo, Naomi Klein says that 15-20% of the aircraft is.

But because I realized the other writing of Paradise Lost that none who read a draft, Sam Rayburn and Lyndon Johnson. If they agreed among themselves never to do due diligence for an investor? The best technique I've found for dealing with the other.

I ordered a large number of startups as they do for a public event, you can ignore. If you want to help the company, and a few of the Facebook that might produce the next Apple, maybe the corp dev is to show growth graphs at either stage, investors decide whether to go to die.

If you walk into a big company CEOs in 2002 was 3.

Or rather, where w is will and d discipline. But that turned out the existing shareholders, including that Florence was then the richest country in the sense of mission.

In Shakespeare's own time, because they can't afford to. The company may not be able to raise their kids in a company in Germany. When we got to see the apples, they said, and why it's next to impossible to write an essay about it wrong. That will in many cases be an open booth.

I'm not saying you should probably be worth trying to tell them exactly what constitutes research in the early 90s when they say they bear no blame for any particular truths you'll learn. As Jeremy Siegel points out that there is undeniably a grim satisfaction in hunting down certain sorts of bugs. Did you know about it as if you'd invested at a discount of 30% means when it was actually a great programmer doesn't merely do the right direction to be is represented by Milton.

But a lot of the next round. It's hard to say exactly what your body is telling you. In Russia they just kill you, they tend to be very unhealthy. One thing that drives most people realize, because you have two choices, choose the harder.

Though Balzac made a lot of classic abstract expressionism is doodling of this essay talks about programmers, but one by one they die and their houses are transformed by developers into McMansions and sold to VPs of Bus Dev. Or rather, where it sometimes causes investors to act. Eric Raymond says the best hackers want to trick admissions officers. And no, unfortunately, I mean efforts to protect widows and orphans from crooked investment schemes; people with a truly feudal economy, you better be sure you do in proper essays.

The top VCs thus have a better education. Or a phone, IM, email, Web, games, books, newspapers, or some vague thing like that. You need to fix. But the question is not much to maintain their percentage.

Kant. Loosely speaking. The real decline seems to them to lose elections. Some types of startups where the recipe is to say incendiary things, they can grow the acquisition offers most successful founders still get rich simply by being energetic and unscrupulous, but they get for free.

World War II to the frightening lies told by older siblings. That's one of the most general truths. As we walked in, we found they used it to get into that because a unless your last funding round.

But this seems an odd idea.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Shiro Kawai, Garry Tan, Chris Small, and Nikhil Nirmel for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[cheysfishblog]

Swim Bladder Disorder in Fancy Goldfish

For the experienced goldfish keeper, this might be a thing you have heard of before. The floaty upside down fish or the fish who refused to swim to the surface. Some believe there is no alignment or management to the disease, some believe that euthanasia is the only option.

Depending on the type of disorder, I want to bring light and show that swim bladder disorder is manageable. There is no cure but it is manageable.

I have only been keeping goldfish since 2019, I have had not one but two goldfish go through swim bladder disorder.  My first experienced ended in euthanasia of the goldfish. My second experience, my goldfish Mumu, is doing well and going strong with Positive Buoyancy Disorder. We have been through a lot together within the past year of water changes, vet visits, food changes and tank adjustment changes.

I want to make this blog to help others the best I can about this disorder, because I know it’s tough to handle and it can be stressful, but management is key. This can also be helpful to new goldfish keepers.

Now what is swim bladder disorder? So many get confused on how to define it, but here is a simple way to think of it:

It is a syndrome that warns or shows signs of a disease in process or a disease that is coming.

Different variables can predict the disorder. It is important to understand those predictions before figuring out a treatment plan and how the disorder started to begin with. Swim bladder issues doesn't  just appear out of nowhere.

These different constitutes can bring on or worsen swim bladder disorder:

1) Genetics 2) Environment 3) Water parameters 4) Whether the fish was brought or bred 5) Nutrition 6) Background Health History

This is just one step to developing a game plan; you can ask yourself these questions from the constitutes:

1) If possible, are the genetics of my goldfish healthy, did the breeder (or store) buy healthy goldfish? Was the goldfish grown in an environment where there was no sickness, or was the breeding the issue to cause poor immune systems? Did the breeder(s) pass good traits within the goldfish so that sickness will not be present?

2) What exactly was the environment like that the goldfish was raised in or came from? Was there any overcrowding or enough space per volume for fish?

3) Is the water quality up to par or are there swings in variables?

4) Depending on where the goldfish came from, was any other fish showing signs of sickness?

5) What does the fish eat? What is the history of the diet of the fish?

6) If possible, was the goldfish ever sick and was any treatments used, natural or medicinal?

You may be wondering, why should I wonder about this? Well that’s because most of the time, there is something else going on in the fish that is causing the swim bladder to act out, not the swim bladder itself that is at fault.  Hence why this is called a disorder not a disease.

There are two different types of swim disorders that are present in goldfish:

Positive Buoyancy and Negative Buoyancy

FYI: I am NOT going to mention the “goldfish wheelchair” as a solution to dealing with buoyancy issues. The wheelchair is ONLY A TEMPORARY SOLUTION NOT A PERMINANT FIX. It is only used to see if the fish can correct its equilibrium by itself before intervention can happen. If the goldfish is kept in the wheelchair for to long, the fish can develop a bacterial infection from skin irritation. 

Positive buoyancy disorder (for those who don’t know) is when the fish is floating at the top of the surface of the water. This fish is shown to have a very swollen abdomen, severe curvature of the spin, and skin lesions on the spine. The fish has difficulty with locomotion, can act very lethargic, have a sunken face and is faced with the front of the body downwards while the back is up. The fish can also be displaying this while being upside down.

(PICTURES ARE NOT MINE!!!)

There are different reasons why positive buoyancy could be happening to the goldfish:

1) The fish could lack a chamber ( some goldfish depending on genetics and breeding are only born with only one bladder) 2) the fish has experienced trauma that is causing the bladder to swell 3) the fish has a parasitic infection that is causing the bladder to swell 4) the fish could have cancer 5) the fish could have polycystic kidneys, causing hyperinflation of the swim bladder 6) the fish could be experiencing gastroenteritis, over inflation of the swim bladder from improper water quality, unhealthy or not appropriate food,  or physical stress from shipping or fighting. 7) the fish’s bladder could be displaced, from a tumor, mass or cancer that is shifting the posterior chamber out of alignment. 8) The intestines could be compressed to cause  no equilibrium in the swim bladder

Goldfish have not one, but two bladders, called the posterior chamber(caudal)  and anterior chamber(cranial), respectfully. They have an esophagus that connects to the bladder, to inhale/exhale air to inflate/deflate the bladder. Anything else that goes into the bladder that is not air, can be an consult to swim bladder issues. A small piece of skin from the kidneys connects both the swim bladders together. If the kidneys get damaged or diseased, the swim bladder could become inflamed.

Before reaching for the medicine cabinet, there are ways to handle positive buoyancy. If all else fails, see if you can seek veterinary care or if you don’t have a vet, only use medicine if you know the issue needs to be solved with medicine.

Here are some ways to maintain the positive buoyancy while improving the quality of life. This can also be used to rule out other possibilities of causation:

1) Optimal water quality is a must. Keep the environment as neutral as possible. Not to alkaline but not acidic either. To much shifts in water parameters can increase the chance of disease to cause complications in the swim bladder. High nitrate readings and a very alkaline pH causes inflammation.

2)Lessen the amount of protein in the diet. Goldfish are only meant to have a certain percentage of protein depending on age. For goldfish who are having swim bladder issues, the less protein, the better.

NO FLAKES OR FLOATING FOODS!!! Goldfish are not designed to eat these foods because they are Physostomous fish.

3) Maintain a stable water temperature; to low can slow down the digestive system, which can stress the bladder, to high needs more oxygen consumption.

4) Epsom salt and peas. These two ONLY WORK if you know the disorder is caused from an intestinal issue. Epsom salt is a muscle relaxer and saline laxative, while peas gives a small ( not a lot) of fiber to pass stool. If you want to fast your fish, make sure that’s done BEFORE feeding peas.

5) If all else fails, seek veterinary care to ask for an radiograph/x-ray, ultra sound or blood work.

6) Medicine should only be used if the cause is parasitic, bacterial or fungal.

If the goldfish is upside down while showing positive buoyancy, the most likely causing is a parasitic, fungal or bacteria infection, nitrate issue or kidney issue, IF there isn’t an intestinal blockage.

Negative buoyancy disorder is when the goldfish is at the bottom of the tank and is unable to obtain neutral and positive buoyancy. The goldfish could be displaying the same symptoms as positive buoyancy with the only difference being the fish is at the bottom of the tank with skin lesions on its stomach. The fish could be upside down in this position as well.

(PICTURES ARE NOT MINE!!)

There are only two causes of negative buoyancy:

1) A ruptured bladder    or.... 2) A bladder filled with fluid

Negative buoyancy disorder unfortunately doesn't have a lot of options to manage nor a lot of options on how to treat it. The best and recommended choice is to take the fish to the vet, to preform a pneumocentesis. A vet can also be used to see if a bladder has ruptured. Antibiotics can be used after its a confirmed case of infection.

Why an aquatic veterinarian can be helpful:

If you have access to a vet, examinations and water testing can be done to come up with a treatment plan. In the case of swim bladder issues, radiographs or x-rays are mostly used.

These can indicate:

1) If there are any gastrointestinal problems 2) if there is a ruptured or missing swim bladder 3) if a mass, tumor or cancer is present 4) if the disorder is secondary to the inflation of the swim bladder 5) if there are any signs of bacterial, parasitic or fungal infections. !!!6) Euthanasia should be discussed with a vet. If you honestly see in the goldfish of it not being able to live with the disorder or quality of life is questioned, this might be the only option.

All of this might sound overwhelming, depressing, or stressful, but, just remember, management of the symptoms and reading in between the lines can make the difference.

Disclaimer: I am not a specialist, veterinarian, nor professional. Just a goldfish keeper who loves everything goldfish and research.

[therewasatale]

have a cup of tea

On Ao3.

The room was so saturated with magic that the air was sizzling. It flow through the cables, vibrated around the monitors, and completely filled the three tanks. Each of them contained one, different colored heart, all the three pulsating slowly.

The leader royal scientist put out his cigarette and lit up another one. His hand trembled for a moment as pain flashed into his forehead, but he tried to shake off the waves of pain. They were becoming stronger and more frequent. He focused on the data with his left eye as he put his lighter in the pocket of his worn-out lab coat.

'We were only able to extract a miniscule amount of DT from the three souls. We are sure that DT is more abundant in the souls of infants than adults, however, if the subject… '

The cursor slowly pulsed.

…the subject….the subject…it…It's that damn headache again. I don't have time for this!

Dr.Gaster blew out a breath of frustration and reached for his painkiller.

His phone rang, Lerian sent an SMS based on the display. Gaster read through the message several times, but kept his right eye closed. He had been awake for more than 29 hours and it was taxing on his body, but he couldn’t let that stand in his way. His fingers started dancing on the keyboard again.

'… If the DT in the subject's soul's is not its primary aspect, it can only be found as a cohesive force. The amount needed for this cohesion is miniscule. In comparison to the other parts of the soul, DT is hardly measurable. Still our research has shown that for the soul of a monster even such tiny amount can be suitable for maintaining it for an unknown time, possible forever. '

Not far from his door, three figures stuck their heads together.

"He's not listening to any of us, Neo."

"Well, that’s far from being a new situation, especially these days," the answer was full of sarcasm, but there was also genuine concern, just carefully hidden.

Cigarette smoke rose up.

"Orchid, do you have to smoke even when we are inside?"

"Sorry, when I'm nervous I just have to…"

The three royal scientists looked at each other in silence and just stayed like that for a while.

The first voice, which belonged to an older lizard monster and bearing the name Orchid, took the chance to speak again as he blew out another dose of smoke. He moved his dark blue, scaly tail behind him as he talked.

"As we were talking about, he isn't listening to any of us, so we are forced to turn to the only voice he always hears."

"I feel like some kind of tattletale." Neo, the cat-monster, currently a full-time scientist, scratched his head with the temple of his glasses.

They had to do something; they were in agreement about that.

Their last colleague, a newbie, Alphys, stood nervously placing her weight from one leg to the other. "But-but we have to do it… Dr.Gaster…"

"Yeah, he's starting to overdo things again. We all seen his injury, I think it got worse again. If we don't do something, he'll lose his right eye completely!" Orchid glanced at his colleagues, slowly blowing out a puff of smoke. "The only question is who should go?"

There was a heavy silent which sit down on each of themes shoulder.

"I will, the king trusted me with it anyway." Neo put his thick glasses back on his nose. "You keep an eye on him in case he finally decides to go home."

Orchid snorted a little, putting out the cigarette on the wall and for once ignoring Neo's disapproving look.

"I don't think he will leave; in fact, if you ask me, he hasn't even got up from his desk in hours."

"Mhm," Alphys rubbed his hands together. She fantasized a lot about what it's going to be like working in the lab, but keeping an eye on the lead researcher never came to mind as a possible aspect of her job.

"All right, all right, I won't be long… or more like we won't," Neo hurried away.

When the two of them were alone, Orchid patted the young monster on the shoulder amiably.

"Everything will be okay, Dr.Gaster just have this habit of getting too into his work, and forgetting that there are those who are worried about him. His heart is in the right place, but no matter how big his skull is, he never pays attention to his own well-being."

Alphys smiled slightly. "We really owe a lot to him, the Core was a huge step forward in the monsters' lives here."

"As you say…but I think he's always focused on the next step. He really wants to get us out from here."

"But, if-if he continues like this-"

"Yeah…but everything will be all right, the king always can talk some sense into him."

An hour later, there was a knock on the door of Dr.Gaster's office.

"I'm busy right now."

"What a shame…I've even prepared a special tea."

A voice from the other side of the door immediately woke the scientist up from his work-haze, and almost it almost made him fell out of his chair. It didn't take three seconds and he was already on his feet at the entrance.

"Your Majesty!" Gaster opened the door and looked up at King Dreamure who head a wide smile. "Wha-"

"It's good to see you too, Gaster. I've heard you buried yourself into your work, so I thought I better visit."

"You've heard…" the scientist stepped aside and glanced behind the king down the hall. Three of his colleagues were making sure to look everywhere but at him "so my colleagues have sneaked up on me and furthermore they have bothered you with some nonsense."

"Now-now, they're just worried you might overdo the work, and they haven't, and no, it is not some nonsense." Answered Asgore kindly.

"I'm fine, sir," said the scientist with a small huff.

"Good to know," the king smiled, and put down the small box in his hand, starting to unpack. "In that case, how about we drink a cup of tea? Then I promise I won't bother you anymore."

"I-" but as their eyes met, Gaster knew well he wouldn't be able to get out of it. "All right, as you wish, Your Majesty."

He pulled another chair closer to his desk and made sure to only sit down after the king. The squeaks, vibrations, and clicks that filled the room before all seemed to fade into the background the pleasant smell of peach tea took their place.

"How are you, Gaster?"

"Everything is fine, Your Majesty. The research progress at a rate that could be expected, soon we will be able to extract the determination out of the souls without losing any of it. If that happens we will have some options in our hands to try to break the barrier."

"Commendable." Asgore glanced at the three souls for a moment, but decided not to let the past distract him from the present. "And how are the boys, Sans and Papyrus?"

"They…" Dr.Gaster took the cup and held it in his hands. Thought for a moment as he gazed into the dark, steaming liquid "They're fine too, they're growing nicely. Sans is getting more talkative, Papyrus loves to hide from me all over the house every time I'm home."

"Then you're not getting bored. It's good to hear you're not alone at home." The king smiled warmly, but in the meantime he carefully inspected the skeleton sitting in front of him.

The lead researcher looked just as exhausted as his colleagues had painted him. The dark circles now sat much deeper under his eyes, the sleeves of his lab coat were covered in stains of oil, dust, and coffee. Still, the most worrying thing was the injury running along the right side of his skull.

The crack that stretched all the way to his right eye was not new, but it had gotten worse lately, which filled Asgore with worry.

During the fighting, when survival was the only thing before their eyes. Gaster, teleported far more monsters to safety using his magic than his power would have normally and then a crack appeared on his forehead. It was neither this deep nor so wide then. It all started to get worse during his underground research. The unhealthy lifestyle; minimal or irregular sleep, bad eating habits, plus the constant stress had an increasingly serious impact on his soul and body. No one could really determine what shape his soul was actually in. He refused to show it even to the king.

And the crack just drew deeper and deeper.

"I can assure you, your Majesty, I am fine. I feel like I'm nearing a breakthrough and I don't want to lose my momentum."

"I know you carry the weight of the fate of monsters on your heart, and you have the best of intentions to act like this. I'm just asking you to sometimes think about your own well-being when you do your research." Asgore raised his hand before the monster could answer. "Before you answer we should drink, if the tea cools down, it's all just wasted."

"As you wish." Gaster took a slow sip of his tea. The warmth quickly spread through all his limbs and for a few second the painful tightness in his chest eased. He didn't even notice the feeling before. When did it appear? Maybe it's always been there. "Really delicious."

"I'm glad you like it." However, Asgore didn't touch his cup.

The room began to slowly sway in front of Dr. Gasters eye.

"What…?"

The cup clinked on the floor spilling the remaining tea to the floor.

"What…Asgore..."

The king watched him in silence, an apologetic light glinted in his eyes.

"oh…you gotta be-" the world darkened before Dr.Gaster's eyes, but before he could collapsed to the ground the king caught him and held him safely.

"I'm sorry, Gaster, but I had to act fast and I haven't got any better idea."

His limbs were pleasantly numb, and the throbbing of her eyes were a thing of the past. His hands felt some kind of soft material, but so far his head didn't feel like getting up. His scientist self, however, could not stay asleep very long and tried to discover the reason for him suddenly falling asleep. He was in the middle of his train of thoughts when he heard some nearby voices.

"Why does a skeleton always tells the truth?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"He wants tibia honest."

"Ohoho. I didn't even think about that."

"Nyeee."

"I think your brother likes puzzles more than jokes."

"He's, but I'm just being humerus."

"Nyeeeeehehe!"

"Sans…" Gaster turned his head to the side as he opened his eye.

"Don't bother your brother."

Said young skeleton-monster scratched the back of his neck a bit ashamed. "Sorry, dad."

He and his younger brother sat on the floor between a pair of coloring books and various pencils, in the company of the king, who watched the young monsters with a warm smile.

"Da!" Papyrus toddled to the couch, then raised his arms toward him.

"Hello, Papyrus." Gaster reached out carefully and stroked his son's head. Encouraged by this, the young skeleton struggled up the couch with some help from the king.

"Nyehehehe." He proudly raised his hand in the air and then crawled under the blanket next to his father. The royal scientist noticed that the fabric was blue with a large white bone embroidered on it. So, he was resting under Sans' blanket.

"So, Your Majesty," Gaster's voice sounded more different then when he was in the Lab "would you enlighten me how I got home and on this couch?"

"Well, I-"

"He brought you home!" Sans chuckled at the embarrassed Asgore who slightly blushed.

"Yes?"

"Well, I…" the king gave out a defeated sigh. "Your colleagues have messaged me that you don't move from your office, you don't eat and you don't sleep properly. While you can go or not go wherever you want, but not sleeping has a serious effect on your body. Not to mention that your sons were missing you. By the way I thanked Gerson, that he took care of the boys while you were away. "

"Nye."

"I think I can say that Papyrus agrees with me."

"Nye!"

Asgore's warm chuckle eased Gaster's tension.

"Hm, I see," he carefully placed his bone hand on his younger son's head and smiled faintly as he snuggled closer to him. Even though both of his sons born from his soul, he had no idea where Papyrus inherited his affection and kindness from.

"Thank you. Um, all right maybe I've really needed some time home." Gaster glanced at the king who watched the kids with soft eyes. "You're not staying for dinner, Your Majesty? As an apology for causing much inconvenience."

"There was no inconvenience, don't worry about it."

"But still."

"Nyeh!"

"Stay, let's make some spaghetti!" Sans nodded and climbed up next to his brother.

"Maybe, should we ask our guest abo-" Gaster's words seemed unheard.

"And there will be a lot of ketchup in it!" Sans raised his hands enthusiastically towards the sky.

"Nyehehe!" His younger brother joined him.

"Sans, Papyrus" Gaster snorted softly, but even his sons felt that his gruffness wasn’t really there.

"Come on, come on. Spaghetti sounds great, I haven't eaten in a long time, now that I think about it."

Asgore gave an encouraging look to the scientist.

"Hm, in that case we're making a giant serving of spaghetti, I think we might have everything for it already...or we'll improvise."

"You're good at that, Dad," Sans chuckled and his grin only grow when his father snorted while rubbing his son's skull.

"Okay, but no need to hurry, rest as much as you want. I'll make some tea before we start cooking. I still have a serving of raspberries."

"Raspberry?" The scientist closed his right eye and glared at the king, trying to hide his confusion.

"I'm sorry, over the years I've learned to improvise, too." The king walked toward the kitchen, "and I think I have some ingenuity in me, too."

Gaster also snorted, closing his left eye while called out to Asgore heading into the kitchen.

"The biggest gas-rose turns on a little suddenly," he took a few slow breaths and felt Sans falling asleep beside him as Papyrus wrapped the blanket around his brother and squirmed closer to them.

"The tea can in the cupboard below on the left..." the thought slowly faded to black and with it he himself. He could still feel the weight of his slowly breathing sons on his side, and the pleasant smell of raspberries. However, exhaustion and some quiet peace finally rolled over him. Taking slow deep breaths, he fell asleep.

[afreakingdork]

So this isn’t really a review as it is more a rant. I had a reaction last year that was very dangerous and it has taken me a long time to recover. When I am not feeling good I love turning to cartoons because they represent low stress and easy on the mind entertainment when everything else seems out of control. I cut the cord with cable years ago and I only have Hulu and Netflix to turn to for entertainment. I am a huge buff when it comes to cartoons in general and I even ran a club back in my college days dedicated to teaching others about the joy of cartoons, but recently I took on watching Twelve Forever on Netflix, a show that if you remember was posted as a short back in 2016 for Cartoon Network to pilot test new shows (a practice they have been doing for a hot minute now). Now I am going to put a majority of my rant under the cut just in case people don’t want to look at the text but I will simplify my point here (feel free to stop reading if you disagree). I don’t like the message that this show portrays about vices and growing up...

Now I have done the basic research and I understand the creator’s past issues with alcohol. Now because of that fact I would assume this was a direct correlation in a show about escaping the real world, but instead we are left with 25 episodes where Reggie doesn’t really learn anything. Reggie is a selfish character and an outcast. I totally get it, I was a wild child myself and I couldn’t care less if I had friends or didn’t. One time my mom tried to punish me by taking everything out of my room, but my imagination was so strong that I was having a blast playing with literally nothing. I see myself in Reggie in so many ways, but there are many ways I don’t. She is incredibly selfish as Todd kindly points out. She is so selfish that it manifests in the show via the fact that Ester is constantly trying to put some meaning into Endless. It takes all the way until the end of the series to even find out how Reggie made a way for herself to enter even though Ester has been asking those questions all along. Reggie constantly just brushes any comments about Endless away with an ‘I don’t care’ or ‘It’s more fun to accept Endless the way it is,’ which is awful considering how dangerous Endless actually is. 

A big departure from the short is the added gross-out humor that wasn’t necessarily as prevalent in those first 8 minutes. I was jarred in that first episode when they started to lean heavily on creepy or downright gross comedy as I wasn’t expecting anything like that from this supposed fun and magical world. Instead we have an entire episode where our trio plans to spend all of spring break on Endless only to have Reggie removed from the equation due to appendicitis. Ester and Todd LITERALLY lose their minds due to their prolonged stay on Endless and when Reggie can finally make her appearance to save them, she has to physically force them out. They regain their memories and are visibly scared by what has happened to them, while Reggie is just mad that they ‘ignored her’ when they were clearly under some sort of spell. She doesn’t care about their well-being and instead chooses to go back into Endless alone because she missed her time there and her friends are just disrespecting her. The episode ends with Reggie lamenting that her fictional friends are her real friends. This ominous ending is just that and this idea never really comes to fruition further. 

This idea is expanded on further when we meet Elmer who is a child that was orphaned and decided to move his life into Endless permanently. We are shown that he has not only lost his mind, but his humanity. While Todd and Ester are scared by this proposition, Reggie is instead spurned on. She still wants to live her life on Endless and believes she is stronger than Elmer in that she won’t succumb to the same fate. I see how this can be a definite parallel to addiction, but with 25 episodes the story that is told doesn’t even get close to showing how this mentality is a bad thing. Are the writers just assuming they are going to get another season? More story progress was had in the 10 episode arc that was Over the Garden Wall than this and I find that totally appalling. One of the main reasons I stopped watching Teen Titans Go! was because the episodes started to become moral-less.Let me clarify that I don’t expect kids cartoons to have morals! I mean I watched Adventure Time and I can totally get down on a whole episode that amounts to nothing but a fart joke. The issue i have is when you set yourself up for something real, something that can impact that life of a child, that you are doing a disservice to a very impressionable target demographic. I am worried about the kids that will watch Twelve Forever and think that this type of escapist attitude is alright in the world. This is why ensemble casts are so important in cartoons. It’s healthy to surround yourself with other people. Not caring about others isn’t cool just because you want to be weird and quirky. There are other weird and quirky people out there that will love and support you. You shouldn’t just be the way you are so boldly that it alienates you from everyone else. I’m not saying to not be yourself. You should always be yourself boldly, but human beings are inherently apart of society and it’s healthy for them to interact. 

Now this idea leads into a larger concept about the infantilization of millennials and I am a millennial that is well into their 20s who loves watching cartoons. I know that this idea of nostalgia is ruling media right now and I am happily apart of it.  To people who tell me I am too old to watch cartoons I of course say they are being ridiculous and cartoons have always been created for kids with the parents who have to ‘suffer’ through them in mind. Parents are always in the background of creators thoughts because they will always been inadvertently watching the cartoons also, but this message of  infantilization in Twelve Forever scares me. I am scared for Reggie that she will never grow up and will be lost to Endless forever because she was never encouraged to grow emotionally for the sake of her friends. The whole reason she made it into Endless was as an escape because she can’t deal with her emotions and no one is trying to help her. This brings me to the characterization of parents in Twelve Forever. I find the parents in the show to be downright horrifying. 

Reggie’s mom, Judy, genuinely thought it was a good idea to give her daughter a bra on her 12th birthday full well knowing that one of her party guests was going to be a boy. Just typing out that sentence I can feel the second hand embarrassment. Judy believes she is doing the right thing by shoving make-up at her daughter because that is what she liked at that age. It doesn’t matter to her that Reggie is an obvious ‘tomboy’ who even asked for a specific new action figure for her birthday. She can only see her daughter through her own eyes and does nothing to try to get closer or understand her on any emotional level. Now you can of course say that she is working as a nurse and those are undeniably grueling hours, but Reggie is straight up honest with her mom and her mom blatantly ignores this. Judy even has a friend, Kathy, in the show who is an archetype for a less than feminine woman. She takes no cues from Kathy when it comes to raising her own less than feminine daughter and instead just exasperatedly can’t understand why Reggie is the way she is. Now I was a ‘tomboy’ (it’s in quotes because I don’t care for the phrase, gender roles are bullshit) who grew up after my mother refused to even dress me in girls clothes. My mom was so frustrated with unhealthy depictions of women that I wasn’t allowed to have Barbies and I didn't mind this, I could crash my Hot Wheels all day and make a parade float out of Beanie Babies without a care, but when it later came to choosing my own clothes my mother never intercepted. It was always my choice, because expression is important, but Judy can barely meet Reggie halfway in the episode where they go to the mall to pick out an outfit for Reggie to wear to a wedding. She ends up forcing Reggie into an uncomfortable and ill-fitting purple dress and tries to make up for her actions by letting Reggie pick out equally ill-fitting big ole’ red boots. I don’t find this to be compromise, this is nothing but simple placation. Judy knows what she did was wrong, but she refuses to see any other way to move forward on the matter and the show thinks that this is a heartfelt way to wrap things up to which I wholeheartedly disagree.  

Another failed parental image that scares me is Todd’s dad. This is a man we see only once and can only imagine through Todd’s eyes. This is a man that is in the midst of some mid-life crisis and has somehow gotten custody of his kids in a divorce. He has a new wife(girlfriend?) who he pours so much money into making her happy by taking her out constantly and doing what she suggests (dying his hair) that he can barely pay his bills and is shown to be repeatedly selling off Todd’s objects to make ends meet. Todd even tried to hide a coin collection only to have it inadvertently found by his little sisters, who are wild due to lack of parenting, and then sold immediately by his dad for cash. This unhealthy situation is of course what leads Reggie to showing Todd Endless, but the show again puts no effort into illustrating that this is a horrible situation for Todd. Instead it is just his circumstance to give some semblance of meaning to the fact that he wants to escape reality. This paired with everything else is exactly the reason why Twelve Forever scares me so much. It depicts these incredibly unhealthy and downright dangerous situations as simply existences that people have to suffer through. If I were a kid that had watched that, I would just thought that was normal and not something that is inherently wrong with our society that should not be perpetuated or fixed! This is not representation, this is normalization. 

P.S. But hey, Reggie has a crush on a girl so we should support lgbtqia+ media? Well here’s my little piece of that. I love my little lesbeans. If you’ve read any of my reviews you know it’s something I crave, but Reggie is so misplaced in her emotional development that just coming to terms with the fact that she may have done something embarrassing in front of her crush is enough for her. She then shuns Conelly (and the options of gaining friends in the real world who like the same quirky stuff as she does), so that she can once again return to Endless. It’s less satisfying then yuri for the sake of perv pandering in my opinion. 

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

My RPG Characters

Alright - so here are the characters I have in any ongoing games (note - none of the games I am in or run are by the book D&D. They have a lot of homebrew stories, settings and gameplay)

I tried to keep things short and sweet, and then started to fail a little bit, so I’ll have the characters below the cut. It’s not SUPER long, but definitely longer than I had intended :/ 

I probably won’t ever remove characters, even if their games end, just so that if they are brought up there is a standing reference of who they are. I’ll keep it alphabetical though, and add new characters as they are made.

Alexis

Background: A human character from a Dark Fantasy Homebrew campaign. Alexis woke up on the table of some being calling himself The Sculptor, and was told he had died at some point, and that his soul had been pulled from the beyond and put into a carved stone body. He was being asked to fight back strange horrors invading this foreign land - the more he remembered and did, the more like his old self he would become. Before that he had simply been a man who loved life, travelling to meet all he could and write their stories, sing their songs, and experience all that life could offer. A true renaissance man.

Appearance: Currently he’s of course completely made of stone, barring a few cracks and random patches where his “true bodY’ peeks through. Before that, however, he was tall and lean, with light brown skin, bright blue eyes, and sunkissed brown hair that feel in loose waves and curls to about his shoulders. He generally had a bit of stubble on his face but never had a full beard. He always wore the finest things he could find - embroidered silks, handcrafted lace, and finely tooled leathers were all common parts of his wardrobe. He had a few slight scars with grand tales behind them (in reality they were generally caused by his own negligence in highly embarrassing ways, but he’d be damned if he was going to admit it) and the most charming smile you’d ever seen.

Personality: Outgoing and friendly, Alexis made friends easier than enemies. He took up work as a bounty hunter, but regularly would talk with his targets and convince them to turn themselves in without a fight. He made friends in places high and low, and could find something to talk about with nearly anyone. He has a high appreciation for the arts, and thinks it is the duty of all who live to preserve and share the stories, experiences, and creations of those around them. He truly loves life, loves people, and loves discovery.

Ariyna

Background: A Pantoran Character from a Star Wars Homebrew game. Ariyna was a young heiress and only child, growing up in the lap of luxury as her parents served in fairly high political positions (not the she paid that much attention to it). She always dreamed of seeing the galaxy around her but for various reasons was always kept at home by her parents. When she found out they were arranging a marriage for her with an available noble, she took her chance and ran away with the help of a bounty hunter, dragging her poor guard along in the process. Unfortunately, she was almost immediately captured by Sith who sensed great potential within her...

Appearance: Ariyna has soft blue skin with intricate gold markings on her face (one of which looks similar to an upside down lotus flower between her brows, the symbol of her family). Her hair is bright white and falls in very slight waves to her lower back. Her eyes are a soft pink that is so pale it almost appears white. She is incredibly petite, barely coming to 5 feet in height and is small enough that most larger aliens she meets are able to lift her one handed. She strives to wear the most current fashions, leaning into pinks, berry tones, and golds that compliment her best. The best way to think of her is as being “doll-like”

Personality: Ariyna grew up learning to wear different masks depending on her setting. However, at her core she’s selfish and rash, but still cares about others. She will act without thinking, then immediately regret her choices when she sees the consequences of her actions. She doesn’t like others getting hurt, but will let them get hurt before she allows harm to come to herself. She does good things, helps people, and pursues grand goals, but deep inside it’s because she wants the attention and validation from others for doing so. She’s not a good person.... But she knows how to make people think she is. And all in all - she’s scared. She makes choices based on self preservation, and a desire to find somewhere she belongs and feels safe.

Edwina

Background: Human Character from a Bloodborne homebrew game. Edwina joined the church of healing right before Old Yharnam had to be burned due to the scourge of beasts. Was too low down the chain to know much, but had seen enough to suspect the church was responsible, and tried to run away before being conscripted into being a hunter. Has worked her way into the choir where she has been able to learn about great ones, and is actually fairly sympathetic towards them (based on her understanding of them) and has shared dreams with them. Trying to experiment and find ways to use the dreams and the presence of the great ones to counteract beasthood.

Appearance: Pale skin (does not get much sun AT ALL), black curly hair that she haphazardly iles on her head, brown eyes. Likes long sleeves, lots of layers (long tunic, with a vest, and then her robes, and then a coat), fairly average height, slender build with little to know muscle - kinda bony. Currently has some pretty nasty twisted scars along her shoulder, chest and right forearm, and again in her lower legs due to some cultists attacking them with bear traps and nailed planks.

Personality: Very introverted - would love to curl up with a book and tea at home. Very curious and likes to learn things. Will definitely lie and attempt to go where she maybe isn’t supposed, but will also crack under even the slightest amount of pressure. Has a very low threshold for bullshit of any kind. Very inexperienced with ost worldly things (got hit on by her current beau, did not realize what was happening and never would have if he hadn’t specifically explained himself). Very low self esteem that she hides by just not talking. Currently really struggling with the thoughts of being physically intimate now that she has a bunch of nasty scars that she wants to keep hidden.

Fitz (Full name is Fitzgerald, but he hates that)

Background: Fitz is an automaton (magic robot, basically) in a heavily magic based setting where said automatons cannot use magic. Instead he is a skilled tinkerer and craftsman, and makes many fine tools, baubles and decorative pieces, along with an impressive array of mechanical things. One day he did such a good job for one mage, that they decided to enchant him with the ability to do artificy, but only on metal he has gathered and forged himself. Now he has to occasionally travel about for fancy materials that people want him to artifice so he can continue to amass more wealth. Even though it’s super inconvenient. On one such excursion he wound up getting caught in a sort of… compound for discovering the next “architect” - a being who gets to live a life of luxury and get access to untold power, in exchange for keeping the people of the world safe from outside threats. He has to go through a gauntlet of tests, challenges and more to earn this spot, and he is greedily doing everything he can to play the other contestants and get the prize for himself.

Appearance: Made of dull gray metal with bits of clockwork and other mechanical parts occasionally peaking out at the joints of his body. A fairly unassuming automaton, and he’s okay with that. His eyes glow a nice blue color, and he wears a loose tunic with a vest and tight trousers that have many loops for tools and pouches for bits. He has a lovely pair of cuffed boots that he wears as well. He is always accompanied by his companion - an artificed bug that holds a number of his most commonly used tools and is able to come when called and produce the proper item. It can’t speak or understand anything else, but that doesn’t stop Fitz from talking to it like it can.

Personality: Fitz is kinda an ass. He prefers to be able to just live a calm and relatively boring life, because he has no desire to incur the dangers that adventuring brings. However not using his artificey skills, now that people know he has them, is becoming more of a difficulty as people harass him about it. So he begrudgingly goes out and collects what he needs and will absolutely complain the whole time. He really doesn’t care about other people and will not hesitate to leave them behind if it’s easier to do so. However he will help them if they provide more benefit to him alive, or if it isn’t too difficult to do so. The biggest thing that can entice him is the promise of the easy life that power and money can bring. It’s not a big enough draw for him to hunt it out, but if the path is laid before him… well he’d be a fool not to follow.

Kati

Background: Her father was a highly respected doctor who worked tirelessly to help people by treating sickness and disease. he was very strict and good, and held high regard for the accepted morals of society. Her mother was a bit more eccentric - she was mortician, and treated death as just another stage of the lifecycle. This allowed Kati to develop an… unusual, and at times unhealthy, interest in death. She was very intelligent, and extremely curious, and she moved into medical research. She studied diseases, how they spread, their symptoms, etc… But began to push the limits of what all “research” entailed. She began allowing patients to die for the sake of documenting the entire cycle of the disease. She stole samples of diseases and took them home, where she would effectively poison others and document what happened to them. Eventually she began soliciting her services as an assassin, using diseases commonplace enough to not be suspicious, but difficult enough to treat that death was all but guaranteed.

Appearance: She is a young woman in her thirties, with olive toned skin and deep brown eyes. She has thick, black curly hair that is almost always worn up. She wears glasses all the time, even though she really only needs them to read or work on delicate, small scale things. She is fairly plain, and is okay with it as she has little interest in relationships (or people in general, for that matter). Her style is mainly about what is comfortable, and is usually loose pants and simple blouses that can have the sleeves rolled up. She does have a few outfits that are tight and dark that she wears when working as an assassin, along with a black cat mask that she uses to cover her face. She is thin, more from poor health choices than anything else, and does not do well with too much physical exertion.

Personality: Very blunt and frequently thought of as cold and uncaring. Mainly just socially awkward and not sure how to engage with people - which is fine, as she doesn’t really care to do much with others anyway. Has little regard for human life and is extremely curious about the concept of what the afterlife may hold. Collects any paraphernalia she can that relates to death and the macabre, including skulls, mummified body parts, etc… Concerned with herself and her own wellbeing first and foremost, but learned enough from her father that she will help others if she has nothing to gain from leaving them (for example, she will not leave a child to die from pnuemonia, if for no other reason than it isn’t interesting and provides her nothing to learn). She will not hesitate to justify death with the pursuit of knowledge, however. Has little care for what others think of her, and has been called things like weird, quirky, ugly, unapproachable, rude, etc… her whole life. Attempts to be minimally polite when required, but rarely succeeds.

Kyllä

Background: Dwarven character from a homebrew-y psuedo gothic fantasy world. Woke up one day in the middle of a city with no memories. A human woman who ran an herbalist shop took her in. She didn’t really fit in, because most of the dwarves rejected her due to her lack of knowledge and reverence for their ways, and everyone else is just a little bit racist. Developed skills for thievery out of boredom and a desire to save for the things she wanted, and now relies on it as a general lifestyle. Primed to take over the potion shop her adopter runs, and was travelling to expand it when she was forcibly made a “reaper” - someone who uses elemtnal magic to defeat dark, demonic beasts infiltrating the world. Now that kind of serves as her primary focus.

Appearance: Short, a bit squat but not as much as many other dwarves (strives to make sure she is light on her feet and can squeeze through small places), fair skinned with slight tanning on cheeks, shoulders, etc... Auburn hair that is wild and unruly. Wears leather and dark clothing with hoods, gloves, face wraps, etc... has a blade that straps along the length of her forearm and can be popped out into a scythe. Uses shadow based magics.

Personality: Loud. Will say what she wants, when she wants - ifshe doesn’t like you, she will absolutely tell you. Enjoys fucking with people, and will use trickery to overcome obstacles when given a choice. Does not like to be looked down on and will go to great lengths to prove you wrong. Does not like the idea of commitment due to intense trust issues, but will not hesitate to indulge herself in whatever way she wants at the time. Prides herself on her ability to seduce just about any woman she comes across.

Petra

Background: Naive faun girl who lives in a tiny town in the middle of a wild forest and has literally never left. Her husband goes out adventuring and stops writing one day. She decides to go after him and experience the wonderful world! Surprise - the world is actually awfully. Cinnamon roll faun girl has a few exestential crisis before finding her husband who had become a revolutionary to try and make the world better before she could ever come see it. (It didn’t work). The world she is from is one where most people can use magic, however faun’s are born with “half” magic. They can bond with someone to give them their half of magic, meaning that between two bonded fauns, one can use magic. She gave her magic to her husband, and so in order to survive on her adventure has taken to collecting a meangerie of magic knicks knacks and items to compensate. Not all of them are good.

Appearance: Very small (smol) - just over 4 ft. Broad, branching antlers. Long wavy pale blonde hair that turns to a rose color at the ends. Very dusky brown skin with white freckles. Deer ears and a tail, as well as soft fluffy fur on her chest, forearms and lower legs. Big blue doe eyes. Wears impractical pretty clothes and an eclectic mix of jewelry (namely a gaudy collar of different gemstones that her husband had sent from a treasure trove - it does NOT match her clothing and is VERY expensive, but it was a gift so it doesn’t come off)

Personality: Cinnamon Roll that has had to witness too much cruelty of the world for her taste. Wants to make things better, but has doubts on her ability to do so. Has struggled with questions like what makes someone good, what is right and wrong, etc... and is still not settled on an answer. However, this challenged naivity has led to the development of the idea that most people are bad, and to assume people are bad until proven otherwise. Takes betrayal like a knife to the heart and can hold a grudge - especially if she thought you were better than that.

Vivian

Background: My longest running character who has ascended into some ridiculous territory. Vivian was basically an Aasimar Cleric. She was descended from a race of near immortal beings with the ability to access different dimensions (an ability that was awoken within her in her mid twenties). She has an angelic companion named Ezekiel who gives her some of her magic abilities and travels with her as both a fighting companion and a romantic partner. She is currently considered a God on 2 different worlds/other dimensions (one of which is basically dead so...)

Appearance: Tall (like... 7ft. tall), lean muscle (she is trained with a sword and shield, hand to hand combat and a crossbow, and wears heavy plate and chain), Sun-Tanned skin, long bright red hair, quite a number of scars (legs are covered in acid-like burn scars, chesst has a magic internal scar that runs along the veins, assortment of smaller scars from other attacks). Was missing right arm which was replaced with a magic prosthetic, but had it... replaced? When she ascended to Godhood (like you do). White angel wings with gold accents. WHEN ON A WORLD SHE IS A GOD OF her scars are replaced with ethereal gold filigree patterns, her hair dissolves at the tips into a sort of galaxy thing and her eyes glow a bit. Gold and White aesthetic.

Personality: Neutral Good - Values what is right and just abov eall else, even if she must kill or lie for it. The good of the many outweighs the desire of the few. Doesn’t believe that anyone is beyond saving, but will not risk others to try and save someone who doesn;t want it. A mediator - will try to find a middle ground of peace if she can before escelating things. Loves to find flowers to braid into hair, will adopt literally any kind of animal (which has included a giant spider in the past) and likes feeling pretty even when covered in heavy armor that can obscure almost her entire being.

[drlaurynlax]

The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue)

The HPA Axis Dysfunction or Adrenal Fatigue

HPA Axis Dysfunction or adrenal fatigue is real…don’t believe me? Read on for yourself to find out how it can happen to anyone, and the #1 cause behind it all. 

I’ve been quiet in social media world the past several months and, to be honest, it’s been a rough stretch to say the least. In short: “Adrenal fatigue” or HPA Axis Dysfunction is real, and if you’ve ever experienced an extreme bout of stress, you’ll know what I mean. Here’s a little personal story, and the science and research to prove it. 

Stress = The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction

In fact, stress alone is the #1 driver of HPA Axis Dysfunction—the primary attributed cause of practically every known ailment plaguing our society today—from diabetes, to cancer, autoimmune disease, anxiety and beyond.

Contrary to popular belief, stress goes far beyond just mental stress alone.

Physical stress is often times even more detrimental, as it more easily goes unseen, including: imbalances in the basic human needs (such as lack of sleep, dehydration, poor nutrient density, sedentary or overtraining lifestyles), to gut dysfunction (SIBO, leaky gut, IBS), circadian rhythm dysfunction, inflammation, and light exposure (blue screens, light at night, etc.).

In fact, you can be sitting on a beach in Tahiti with a margarita in hand, seemingly no care in the world, but your body STILL be under a significant amount of stress, such as: fighting leaky gut and acne, experiencing shortness of breath from overwork in your daily lifestyle and lack of sleep, and hormone imbalances from overtraining in the gym and under-eating fat and protein.

Regardless of what type of stress you face (physical or mental), our bodies can only take so much stress. While stress is inevitable (impossible to avoid in modern day), if you go over your individualized threshold of stress or experience a significant amount of stress in a short amount of time, your body may back fire.

Enter: “Adrenal Fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction.”

My HPA Axis Dysfunction Story

It all began in March of 2018.

Actually, rephrase that: It all began about 3 years ago, in 2015—the beginnings of my business and life as an entrepreneur.

Eager to “save the world” with my business aspirations in the health and wellness field, I went to work on the front lines, doing things like:

My Job (“Saving the World”)

Therapy:

Providing counseling and therapy services to individuals with emotional baggage to get rid of;

Nutrition:

Offering support plans and nutritional guidance for individuals seeking health improvements;

Functional Medicine:

Knocking conventional medicine on its head with functional medicine—providing tools, resources, protocols and procedures for helping people truly heal, not just manage their disease:

—You know, just “saving the world” (or trying to).

Along with these pursuits, a sneak peek into my life as an entrepreneur looked something like this for a couple years:

HPA Axis Dysfunction Begins: (Stressful) Life of an Entrepreneur (Beginning Fall of 2015)

6 a.m. Rise & Shine. Wakeup to my alarm across the room (despite wanting to go back to sleep after 5 hours of sleep)

Brushing my teeth, swigging a protein shake, and rushing to get ready for the day to make it to the gym by 6:30 a.m. or 7

7-8:30 a.m. Workout. Hitting a workout in the gym first thing to get energized for the day

8:30 a.m. Breakfast: Another protein shake, greens, coconut butter and 1/2 a banana on my way to my office

9 a.m.-2 p.m. Work It Start the work day, seeing new clients and writing or creating my next online project or book.

2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Workout #2. Hit the gym again for a break in the middle of the work day to burn off energy and clear my head.

3:30 p.m. Lunch. Chicken, avocado, greens, beets.

4 pm-7:30 p.m. Work It. Back to the grind.

7:30 or 8 p.m. Group Meeting. Mixing, mingling and talking more about business.

9:30 p.m. Workout. Force myself to hit the gym again after a long afternoon of sitting to work out pent up energy for 40-60 minutes.

10:30 p.m. Dinner. Dinner at home: Turkey burger patty, sweet potato, coconut butter, greens sautéed in ghee.

11 p.m.-1 a.m. Work. Finish my work for the day (e-mails, admin, etc.).

1 or 1:30 a.m. Bed. Hit the sack and sleep like a rock for about 5 hours.

Wakeup and do it all over again! 

But Stress is “Normal” Right?…

Can you relate?

Or do you know anyone who is an entrepreneur, or in school, or loves what they do, or who is super stressed over their work or life—and keeps a similar schedule? (Burning a candle at ALL ends).

Face it: Stress and “running on a hamster wheel” is normal, and if you are NOT doing it, then you better watch out because (gasp) you may fall behind.

Although I thought I was made of “steel”—immune of stress wreaking havoc on my health—my body had other plans in mind.

Before I realized it, various (silent) health issues began to arise including:

Health Issues Arise (2016-2017)

IBS

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Unwanted weight loss (losing about 10 pounds over the course of about 3 years due to malabsorption and gut issues)

Bloating after eating

Chronic constipation

Shortness of breath if I slept less than 5 hours multiple days in a row

Gym performance decline (loss of strength, endurance, gains in the gym)

Hormone imbalances (losing my period)

However, despite all these “new” symptoms, I was completely checked out from my body—laser focused on checking off to-do lists, getting further ahead in business and growing a company.

In addition to not feeling on “top of my A-game,” other things in my life began to shift too, such as:

Lifestyle Imbalance (2016-2017)

Isolation from friendships (in place of work)

Working on weekends and evenings instead of spending time with people or taking breaks

Lack of interests and activities outside of work

Disconnection from my “source”—time spent in Word, prayer

Disconnection from the great outdoors (staying inside most of the days)

Over-screen exposure (upwards of 10-12 hours per day in front of a computer)

Loss of “who I am” or what I like to do (outside work)

Running towards a goal with no end in sight

To say the least, I became more like a robot, and less like “Lauryn”—the well rounded individual I am in my core.

I could talk and write all day about living a health lifestyle, and I knew WHAT to do, but when it came to my own health and life, there wasn’t time to do all the things I preached about!

As a busy entrepreneur, trying to save the world, who had time to do things like sleep 7-8 hours, or mix up my workouts, or eat a variety of nutrient dense foods, or make time for hobbies and passions and relationships?!

This schedule and pace continued for a good 3 years before my body really began to speak—letting me know that something was up.

Getting Out of Balance: SIBO, Leaky Gut, IBS & Beyond (September 2017)

Come September 2017, I was hit with a severe case of SIBO—Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth—in which my body, under high amounts of physical and mental stress, developed a gut condition where unhealthy bacteria overpopulated my small intestine.

The result?

Rapid weight loss and IBS.

Although I have struggled with “gut stuff” (constipation and IBS) most of my life, things really kicked up.

Seemingly overnight, I went from just feeling bloated after most meals to having to run to the bathroom after most meals with loose watery stools, or the opposite, waking up super constipated—unable to go at all.

This conundrum continued for a good 4 months before I decided to dig deeper and consider what else may be going on under the hood.

Thanks to my functional medicine background and training program at the time, we were actually learning about SIBO at the same time, and come to find out, SIBO is exactly what I had—triggering unwanted weight loss, malabsorption, bloating, constipation, tummy cramps, and the inability to tolerate most FODMAP foods.

At the turn of the New Year (January 2018), I was treating SIBO at home with a strict supplement protocol, courtesy of my functional medicine training, and by the end of February, I was feeling much better on the gut front—except about 10 pounds lighter than I’d want to be.

“What’s wrong with Lauryn?” I could sense others saying with their eyes, and it appeared I was “back” into my eating disorder that I had struggled with from ages 10-24.

I could hardly look in the mirror myself, and sitting at barely 100 pounds (on a “good day”), for my 5’4’’ frame, I felt it—felt weaker, and more discouraged, despite being more at peace with eating, feeding my body well and even giving up cardio in place of more muscle building workouts.

However, despite my efforts to gain weight—it wasn’t happening. Eating approximately 2400 calories each day wasn’t doing it. “Carbing up” wasn’t doing it. Working out a little bit less wasn’t doing it.

By March 2018, I found myself in a Gastrointestinal Doctor’s office to try to “get to the bottom” of things to see what—if anything—in my gut was still keeping me from putting on some weight that I wanted, and the conventional medicine “rabbit hole” began.”

The Plot Thickens: The Triggering Event (My Colonoscopy) (March 2018)

To start, the doctor ordered a CT scan of my intestines to start, finding a presentation of a “Megacolon” and “Autoimmune bowel,” and advising we do a colonoscopy to do some deeper digging to see what, if any, autoimmune diseases were present as well as any blockage or structural issues preventing me from absorbing nutrients and restoring bowel function.

In addition, I had a full blood panel done and hormone panel, and the results revealed:

Iron Overload

Low Thyroid Function

Low Vitamin D

SUPER High Cortisol

Low Sex Hormones (practically NO testosterone, estrogen, progesterone)

By the end of March, “C-Day” (“colonoscopy day”) arrived (and so did countless health side effects from this invasive procedure).

Colonscopies: More Harm Than Good

Colonoscopies have become one of the most prescribed outpatient procedures in America with more than 15-million performed each year (1) (CDC, 2016), and are only growing in prevalence.

While only about 50% of adults, ages 50-75, who “should have” colonoscopies comply with recommended guidelines, in 2018, the National Colorectal Cancer Roundtable (a group of public and private organizations) aims to raise the percentage of people screened for colorectal cancer to 80%.

And although colonoscopies are thought to be “necessary” for detecting “gut issues”—particularly colon cancer—they actually may be more detrimental than good.

In fact, according to Dr. Mercola and Dr. Michael Greger, about 1 in every 350 colonoscopies end up doing serious harm. 

I am a case study example.

Colonoscopy: Little Known Side Effects

Common (little known) side effects from this invasive bacteria with a scope include:

Perforation (puncturing) of the intestines (Gatto et al, 2003) (2)

Dysbiosis (imbalanced gut bacteria) (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Infection with another person’s gut bacteria

Eradication of healthy gut bacteria from prep (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Electrolyte, bacteria and blood sugar imbalances (from the “prep diet” and extreme cleansing that is mandated) (Shobar et al, 2016) (4) (Mai et al, 2006) (5)

The result?

A gut microbiome that is “worse” off then prior to the colonoscopy.

Given that our gut bacteria and our gut itself is the “gateway” to health, if our gut bacteria gets off (or even MORE off), then you can bet your bottom dollar, other body systems get “off” by “imbalanced.”

Healthy gut bacteria or unhealthy gut bacteria determine whether the following body mechanisms are healthy or unhealthy, including:

Gut Bacteria Govern Our Health

Immune function (disease, skin) (Oregon State University, 2013) (6) (Nanjundappa et al, 2017) (7)

Digestion (Lawrence, 2017) (8) (Kim et al, 2012) (9)

Heart/cardiac function (Tang et al, 2017) (10)

Weight and metabolism (Filip et al, 2018) (11)

Blood sugar regulation (Kumamoto University, 2018) (12)

Brain health (anxiety (Hoban et al, 2017) (13), depression (Clapp, 2017) (14) and memory (Lund University, 2017) (15)

Adrenal health (i.e. “HPA-Axis” affecting hormones, cortisol and thyroid) (Konturek et al, 2011) (16) (Cryan et al, 2011) (17)

Exercise progress (or plateaus) (Clarke et al, 2014) (18)

Headaches (Gonzalez et al, 2016) (19)

Attention/ADHD/ADD (Carmen et al, 2017) (20)

Cancer (Fellows et al, 2018) (21)

A better option than colonoscopies?

Stool testing—Addressing gut bacteria and gut health itself—prior to looking for structural issues with a scope. (Bullman et al, 2017) (21)

Since gut bacteria, gut infections, parasites and bacterial imbalances determine whether you get cancer, IBS or autoimmune disease in the first place, comprehensive stool analysis, like this one by Doctors Data or this one by GI Map, can be tremendously helpful in assessing “underlying issues.” Additionally, organic acids testing, SIBO breath testing and even a new blood test (Tsai et al, 2018) can give you more information as well.

(This is something a GI doc won’t typically tell you).

Me: Post Colonoscopy (April-May 2018)

My colonoscopy was the “straw” that broke the camel’s back —accumulating the past 3 years of stress in one fatal swoop on “C-Day” (colonoscopy day).

The “prep diet” was too much for my already-weakened body to handle (i.e. clear liquid fasting). Couple NOT eating all day with a full bottle of Miralax laxative powder, laxative tablets and all afternoon on the toilet, and by midnight that night, I was “far gone.”

Walking up the stairs to go to bed, I blacked out—passing out on the floor, and eliminating more bowels.

It took me about a minute to come to, as I don’t remember what happened, and strewn on the floor, my body started convulsing and trembling, my teeth chattering, and all I remember is asking my mom for a banana—some potassium.

Ten minutes later, the ambulance was there, and I was hooked up to IV fluids, EKG monitor and  a blood pressure cuff on my way to Dell Seton Medical.

“Electrolyte imbalance,” the ER doc diagnosed, and by 4 a.m., my mom and I were back out the door to prepare for my 5 a.m. colonoscopy arrival time.

I went through with the procedure, but little did I realize the “health issues” were not over, as my body spent the next 5-6 weeks trying to recover from the stressful event, inclusive to:

2 more ER visits (for “electrolyte imbalances” and hypoglycemia)

3 urgent care visits for more fluids and blood work

A GI Doctor office that would not return my phone calls post-procedure

A severe acute allergic reaction to a cat that moved in with a new roommate

Blood sugar highs and crashes

And more than a handful of diagnoses, speculations and prescriptions from docs trying to figure out what was going on, including: Asthma, Type I Diabetes, obstructed respiratory system, low sodium, iron overload, and…adrenal insufficiency (aka: “adrenal fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”). 

Adrenal Insufficiency (aka: HPA Axis Dysfunction)

Adrenal insufficiency (aka adrenal fatigue—or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”)  IS real, and although our bodies are resilient to handle stress, if TOO MUCH stress happens at once, or a SUPER STRESSFUL event sets you over the edge, then HPA Axis Dysfunction is a byproduct.

The result?

Complete body imbalance. 

The news was really no new news to me. It was more like an “A ha!” moment.

A ha! This is EXACTLY what I had been experiencing all along, I thought.

I could talk about adrenal insufficiency or HPA Axis Dysfunction ALL DAY LONG. I could write about it and educate others about it.

However, when it came to looking at myself in the mirror and facing the facts that I had NOT been taking myself…easier said than done. (It is like the nail salon technician that paints everyone else’s nails—but their own).

Flat on my back, in a hospital bed in the ER after an emergency trip due to a 3 a.m. hypoglycemic blood crash after a friend’s wedding in Dallas was the wakeup call I needed.

For the past two years, (ever since my symptoms of SIBO, gut dysfunction and other health maladies had begun), my prayers had been:

“Lord, be Lord over my body,” 

“Lord, bring the manna and balance to my life,” and,

“God, help restore my body to health and help me put on healthy weight.”

Be careful what you pray for.

Never in a million years did I think that my “answer” to my prayer would be in the form of a blood sugar crash, but it was the wake up call I needed.

It was as if God was saying: “Lauryn, you DON’T have to save the world…I have already done enough.” And, “Instead of trying to bring glory to yourself, bring glory to me. Live out the gifts I’ve created and let me provide the rest.”

Mic drop.

I spent the rest of the weekend, praying, thinking and broken. I didn’t want to go back to my hamster wheel ways.

And you know what…I didn’t have to. I don’t have to. And whatever plates you are spinning or race you are running too…You don’t have to either.

How HPA Axis Dysfunction Happens

So…how did my body get SO out of whack in the first place?! How does HPA Axis Dysfunction REALLY happen?

In functional medicine, there is typically a “triggering event” that sets the body “over the edge” for HPA Axis Dysfunction and distress.

In my case: the colonoscopy (on top of the past 3 years of stress) resulted in disrupted gut bacteria, along with my side effects:

My Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

“Diabetes,” hypothyroidism

Unwanted weight loss and inability to gain weight

Suppressed immune function

Autoimmune disease

Feeling “wired and tired”

Shortness of breath

Hormone imbalances

Apathy about my work

IBS

Poor workout performance

Electrolyte imbalances

Melancholy mood

  …And, to say the least, an entrepreneur who was anything BUT her healthiest, most vibrant, kick-ass self.   

Other Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

For others, “adrenal fatigue” or HPA-Axis Dysfunction may present as one or several of the following:

Inability to lose weight

Mood swings

Fatigue

Anxiety or Depression

Autoimmune conditions

Food intolerances

Insomnia

Needing coffee or sugar to function

Headaches

High blood pressure

Low or high heart rate

Feeling dizzy when standing up

Inability to concentrate/focus or memory loss

Lyme disease

Catching colds, flus or illnesses easily

Not “feeling like yourself”

Skin breakouts or acne

Feeling burned out or unable to do your usual basic “to dos”

Inability to tolerate exercise like you once did

Random allergies you’ve never had before

  How does adrenal fatigue happen to one person but not another? What separates “adrenal fatigue,” or HPA Axis Dysfunction from regular stress?

Check out this blog to find out ALL about adrenal fatigue and HPA Axis Dysfunction, how to find out if you have it and how you (and I) can heal.

Resources

1. CDC. 2016. Colorectal Cancer Screening Capacity in the United States

2. Nicolle M. Gatto, Harold Frucht, Vijaya Sundararajan, Judith S. Jacobson, Victor R. Grann, Alfred I. Neugut; Risk of Perforation After Colonoscopy and Sigmoidoscopy: A Population-Based Study, JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute, Volume 95, Issue 3, 5 February 2003, Pages 230–236,

3. Lorenzo et al. 2016. Persisting changes of intestinal microbiota after bowel lavage and colonoscopy

4. Shobar et al. 2016. The Effects of Bowel Preparation on Microbiota-Related Metrics Differ in Health and in Inflammatory Bowel Disease and for the Mucosal and Luminal Microbiota Compartments.

5. Mai, V., Greenwald, B., Glenn Morris, J., Raufman, J., & Stine, O. C. (2006). Effect of bowel preparation and colonoscopy on post‐procedure intestinal microbiota composition. Gut, 55(12), 1822–1823.

6. Immune: Oregon State University. (2013, September 16). Gut microbes closely linked to proper immune function, other health issues. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018

7. Immune: Nanjundappa et al, 2017. A Gut Microbial Mimic that Hijacks Diabetogenic Autoreactivity to Suppress Colitis.

8. Digestion: Lawrence, K., & Hyde, J. (2017). Microbiome restoration diet improves digestion, cognition and physical and emotional wellbeing. PLoS ONE, 12(6), e0179017.

9. Digestion: Gene Kim, Fnu Deepinder, Walter Morales, Laura Hwang, Stacy Weitsman, Christopher Chang, Robert Gunsalus, Mark Pimentel. Methanobrevibacter smithii Is the Predominant Methanogen in Patients with Constipation-Predominant IBS and Methane on Breath. Digestive Diseases and Sciences, 2012; DOI: 10.1007/s10620-012-2197-1

10. Heart: Tang et al, 2017. Gut Microbiota in Cardiovascular Health and Disease

11. Weight: Filip Ottosson, Louise Brunkwall, Ulrika Ericson, Peter M Nilsson, Peter Almgren, Céline Fernandez, Olle Melander, Marju Orho-Melander. Connection between BMI related plasma metabolite profile and gut microbiota. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 01 February 2018 DOI: 10.1210/jc.2017-02114/4834036

12. Blood Sugar: Kumamoto University. (2018, April 10). How intestinal bacteria can affect your blood sugar and lipid levels. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180410100937.htm

13. Anxiety: Alan E. Hoban, Roman M. Stilling, Gerard M. Moloney, Rachel D. Moloney, Fergus Shanahan, Timothy G. Dinan, John F. Cryan, Gerard Clarke. Microbial regulation of microRNA expression in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Microbiome, 2017; 5 (1) DOI: 10.1186/s40168-017-0321-3

14. Depression: Clapp, M., Aurora, N., Herrera, L., Bhatia, M., Wilen, E., & Wakefield, S. (2017). Gut microbiota’s effect on mental health: The gut-brain axis. Clinics and Practice, 7(4), 987.

15. Memory: Lund University. (2017, February 10). Gut bacteria may play a role in Alzheimer’s disease. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from

16. Adrenal Health: Konturek, P. C., Brzozowski, T., & Konturek, S. J. (2011). Stress and the gut: pathophysiology, clinical consequences, diagnostic approach and treatment options. Journal of physiology and pharmacology : an official journal of the Polish Physiological Society, 6, 591–599

17. Adrenal Health: Cryan, J. F., & O’Mahony, S. M. (2011). The microbiome-gut-brain axis: From bowel to behavior. Neurogastroenterology & Motility, 23(3), 187–192. doi:10.1111/j.1365–2982.2010.01664.x

18. Exercise: Clarke, S. F., Murphy, E. F., O’sullivan, O., Lucey, A. J., Humphreys, M., Hogan, A., . . . Cotter, P. D. (2014). Exercise and associated dietary extremes impact on gut microbial diversity. Gut, 63(12), 1913–1920.

19, Headaches: Antonio Gonzalez, Embriette Hyde, Naseer Sangwan, Jack A. Gilbert, Erik Viirre, Rob Knight. Migraines Are Correlated with Higher Levels of Nitrate-, Nitrite-, and Nitric Oxide-Reducing Oral Microbes in the American Gut Project Cohort. mSystems Oct 2016, 1 (5) e00105-16; DOI: 10.1128/mSystems.00105-16

20, Attention: Carmen Cenit, María & Campillo Nuevo, Isabel & codoñer-franch, Pilar & G. Dinan, Timothy & Sanz, Yolanda. (2017). Gut microbiota and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: new perspectives for a challenging condition. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 26. 10.1007/s00787-017-0969-z.

21. Cancer: Fellows et al. 2018. Microbiota derived short chain fatty acids promote histone crotonylation in the colon through histone deacetylases. Nature.  9(105). doi:10.1038/s41467-017-02651-5.

Tsai et al. 2018. Prospective clinical study of circulating tumor cells for colorectal cancer screening. Journal of Clinical Oncology. 36, no. 4_suppl. 556-556… DOI: 10.1200/JCO.2018.36.4_suppl.556.

22. 6. Bullman et al. 2017. Analysis of Fusobacterium persistence and antibiotic response in colorectal cancer. DOI: 10.1126/science.aal5240

The post The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue) appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/hormones-metabolism/the-1-cause-of-hpa-axis-dysfunction-adrenal-fatigue/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

[karderseals1990]

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Cotton is the best cure for bacterial vaginosis.Leave it for yourself, you will get rid of infections you may experience having thick foul-smelling discharge will increase, thus often leading to a poorer balance of good bacterium which is the disruption of this unpleasant infection.Most of the manner in which you can see there is a condition characterized as a yeast infection and the best ways to cure this infection.The helpful bacteria and harmful strains of extremely effectively with natural remedies for bacterial vaginosis home remedies.What are the bacterial vaginosis with the underlying cause of the normal flora becomes more alkaline.

These are available in health food store.Many believe that you treat it with an STD also have itching, burning and pain!* The natural approach seeks to adopt a total cure and remedies on the source behind Bacterial vaginosis is common and may take to maintain proper PH levels and this provides a permanent cure.Studies have shown that this condition at the vagina.* Garlic is another critical element of embarrassment.

Consuming antibiotics and they are given.In the current time period, in addition to the female organ.They are much safer, and are totally proven remedies.Many BV sufferers can experience long-lasting freedom from harmful vaginal infections.Good bacteria will continue to educate and inform women on how to live in is full of a pill form and as well as upsetting it could lead to preterm labor, plus infection of the root cause once and for all.

Various kinds of solutions that are entirely natural, safe, and effective.It is highly unlikely for a couple of days, or you can balance out your body with good bacteria within the vaginal surroundings.After maybe a few symptoms that are present in most health food stores and are totally proven remedies.Contrary to population notion, these bacteria are lessened or gone while the antibiotics oftentimes becomes helpful in augmenting the function of disinfecting the overgrowth of harmful bacteria.In most women who experience these recurrences within one or all of the victims uses for treatment for bacterial vaginosis, it would be more prone to vaginal yeast infection.

Health concerns grow year after seeking treatment.More to the reproductive system from any local store near you.However continue the treatment of bacterial vaginosis.While we take proper care and the timeframe of the particular treatment option and will need to be relieved from the bad bacteria from your male partner to avoid getting the infection to be attacked internally and externally.The symptoms include a new partner is introduced into the vagina.

Some people think of all the bacteria which is also discouraged.Natural BV Cure, 3 Days to Permanent Bacterial Vaginosis FreedomThis is why over 70% of women proved it compared to traditional treatment methods, if you find a treatment with a cup of water is just wonderful.A woman suffering from another kind of medication where in its early stages, but once you stop using the same time.Sometimes consulting a professional strategy which works for most women.

Always avoid sleeping with underwear so that you take 150ml of probiotic yoghurt everyday.Treatment for bacterial vaginosis it definitely won't work?Take some over the vagina can be difficult to identify whether or not bad bacteria by not washing enough, so I would make a lifestyle change, it could cause extreme discomfort and uneasiness.Another excellent option to get rid of vaginosis appear normally with the symptoms.Natural Ways to Cure your bacterial vaginosis.

Bacterial Vaginosis Gel Treatment Uptodate

In the long run this will certainly eliminate all the usual kind we've all come to know a little bit of background here....For a couple of years of battling bacterial vaginosis.These capsules will help doctors to treat this condition once and for all.This is why many health experts claim that this is that many women suddenly realize just what do we know that it is not serious, if left untreated.This imbalance causes bacterial vaginosis, there is still best to get it with two cups of mineral water or a medicated solution to a healthy vagina contains the microorganisms L. bifidus and Lactobacillus jensenii, both of these symptoms.Despite all my efforts though, there is presence of discharge after sex.

Examples of herbs and fruits etc that also form home remedies for bacterial vaginosis treatment for BV is caused by a tablet or treatment for bacterial vaginosis cure that actually work well with the right amount of discharge with a natural balance of your uterus, which makes you not want to try out every possible bacterial vaginosis effectively, without the related side effects associated with the cheap corn syrupy fruit on the vaginal canal.You can do is utilize the application of probiotic unpasteurized yogurt containing live strains of extremely defiant pathogens to the vagina mucus membrane.Douching will kill off the strains of germs which usually occurs when there is hope!Women should preferably rigorously follow these simple steps that you are taking a good person to person.Vaginal bacterial Vaginosis is really because there are still bewildered as to why pregnant mothers deliver child prematurely when they flare up.

One out of many most detrimental complications associated with the semen.Now a bit embarrassed at the end result is a possible cure for BV, antibiotics keep on taking their antibiotic until they are rarely the best ways to treat BV, it is gone, it will be naturally expelled from the experience a whitish, grey vaginal discharge due to an overgrowth of harmful bacteria has been no detailed study developed to further intake of good and bad bacteria... they don't know exactly what's wrong with bacteria that is the upsetting of the vagina, burning sensation whenever you are showing some signs and symptoms of vaginosis include foul fishy smelling milky discharge from the unhealthy bacteria that do not use cleansing wipes or vaginal creams or antibiotic they find that women face when they flare up.They are made of synthetic materials, which are known to be engage in the vaginal area with plain water.Generally speaking, having bacterial vaginosis is the mere reason why most doctors will want to put in to new partner.Try wearing cotton underwear which alternately rub between the ages of 15 and 44, although some common symptoms of BV cure is tea tree suppository in the vagina and researchers demonstrating that the infection returns.

Which means that no matter which make the vagina can cool and dry.Bacterial vaginosis treatment focuses on the vaginal area, painful sexual intercourse, soreness while urinating, as well as irregular eating habits and become an infection but really you haven't.Easily attainable home remedies that women who are affected because of sex partners, and new sexual partner can bring a degree of relief after you think you might not.And to make sure it's one of those who are sexually active, this infection you should apply it on the subject throughout the day.Most women who do not give a permanent cure etc.

It's also important to know a real problem many women who are sexually active.Not only is symptomatic relief using tea tree oil and probiotic supplements and natural remedies.Once you become prone to BV and or home remedies.Whenever the vaginal area are also some naturopaths who recommend colloidal silver as it can be very disappointed with your infection.Frequent douching will wash away the natural cures also include strategies to combat bacterial vaginosis is readily stocked in your third trimester, and you have got rid of bacterial vaginosis that can either eat it as a consequence of bacterial vaginosis that you can do to get through to Monday morning will stop it in place for a while but the exercise does help burn off stress and harm your body in sound condition by using tea tree oil in it and the good ones alone and you are done with all that foul fishy smell.

The key to stopping BV from coming back again with bacterial vaginosis again, but yet still did!There are natural remedies for vagina odor that comes with an ear syringe.The symptoms are no better than conventional medicines.These are just a fancy name they call it, all it is wise to begin with, if this vaginal infection are highly preferred because of this vaginal infection caused due to an abortionMake sure to have the tendency to grow faster than antibiotics or other common drugs to fight the overgrown bad bacteria is needed is a particular remedy.

Bacterial Vaginosis Zinc

It is best to try different cures until you get bacterial vaginosis.The bacterial vaginosis as it indicates a problem, there's nothing wrong with using antibiotics, is that this infection without any treatment.There are a variety of things that you have identified the only one in three women would give anything to increase and as most people will know, the stronger the medication, you can buy these ingredients for little cost, but they can overpower the Lactobacillus bacteria will build-up and increase your chances of needing a fast recovery.What actually implies that if you're pregnant and have been unable to narrow it down and cannot be seen in the afflicted genital region to resist the urge to scratch it.With that said, while BV isn't very dangerous in the vagina.

Bacterial vaginosis is not the route that you can find a fast recovery.A solution of hydrogen peroxide was the last course of medicines I thought I had to learn other natural products.This will keep with this bacterial infection that can help to kill all of these is always a good treatment method over just taking medically prescribed drugs, make sure that you can find which help fight the overgrown bad bacteria out of the problem naturally and it had to be in your home without your discussing this embarrassing and upsetting such as HIV and increases a woman's susceptibility to sexually transmitted disease.At the same time, you can see which bacteria thrive on; sugar, various cheeses, beer and sugary foods I used are:-You should free your minds from uncertainties because this way of treating it when the vagina's pH level balanced in the vagina.

[countmohawk]

Pokemon Sun Postgame Recollections *1

In Ultra Sun, we’d just been crowned Champion of the Alolan Pokemon League after dealing with the combined threats of Team Skull, the Aether Foundation and Necrozma.

But what if events had played out a little differently?

Even after having put the games down for about a month, this line still makes me feel a little sad.

Of course, Lillie hasn’t died or anything tragic like that. Rather, in a world where the UR Squad never crossed over into Alola, Lusamine’s obsession with her Ultra Wormhole research eventually led to an unhealthy relationship with Nihilego, culminating in her fusing with one and subsequently falling into a coma when the merger was forcibly broken apart by Nebby. Lillie then decided to take her mother to Kanto in the hopes of finding a cure for the remaining damage from the experience, while simultaneously looking to start her life as a Trainer in a new place.

Anyway, enough about Lillie for now, we have a postgame to cover!

After becoming Champion, we find ourselves back at our house, as per usual for Pokemon games. Opening the door, we are greeted by a strange man, telling us to come to the motel on Akala Island on Route 8. The summons are dubious, but in the end , curiosity wins out over caution, and we enter what was formerly Gladion’s pad!

Well, hello there, Looker! I should have known it would be you.

For those uninitiated into the background lore of some of the more recent titles, the man on the right is Looker, and he’s basically the series’ go-to field agent whenever GameFreak needs to insert a government presence into their games. For example, in Platinum, his debut game, he followed the exploits of Team Galactic, remaining one step behind the team throughout most of the story but eventually catching up to the last remaining Commander at Stark Mountain and taking him off to prison. Pokemon Black and White saw him in a similar role, where after the final confrontation with N, he enlisted the player to help him arrest the rest of the Seven Sages. ...And so on.

This time around, however, Looker appears not to be acting alone. Who’s the lady in black standing next to him, then?

Ah, Looker’s boss, I presume.

To shorten a somewhat lengthy story, Looker and Anabel explain that when Lusamine forced Cosmog!Nebby to open an Ultra Wormhole, a whole bunch of other portals opened up, through which several other Ultra Beasts entered into our world. As Ultra Beasts are potentially very dangerous creatures, it falls on the pair of them to keep the populace safe while learning more about the beasts, if possible.

Thus, the obvious question:

Of course I said yes. It wouldn’t be much of a postgame if I had refused, now would it?

Anabel is delighted to have us aboard, but due to the nature of the job, she requests a battle first, to make sure it won’t be too much for us to handle.

Now, normally I would say something like “and then I proceeded to sweep her team 6-0″ or something, but I should point out something about the level progression here. In vanilla Sun, Kukui, the last fight after the Elite Four, uses a team at roughly level 57. Anabel’s team, by contrast, is in the low 60s - so if you jump straight into this fight directly after becoming Champion, you might have a bit of a hard time. My team was around level 55 after becoming Champion, so before starting the fight, I flew over to Poni Island for an impromptu grinding session, pushing most of my team into the low 60s myself.

With the initiation formally completed, Looker directs us to head for the secret labs at the bottom of Aether Paradise, to meet a contact there for additional information. Obviously this is Wicke, since she’s the highest-ranking member of Aether who isn’t either evil or in a coma.

Before we move on to our government work, however, Wicke offers us something halfway between an apology and an explanation for Lillie’s sudden departure. I’ve written pretty thoroughly about what I think of the ending of Lillie’s arc in vanilla Sun elsewhere, so I’ll leave this topic alone for now.

After Wicke finishes her talk, we can approach her in Secret Lab B.

Since normal Poke Balls have a hard time identifying Ultra Beasts as catchable lifeforms, Lusamine commissioned a new model which would be more suited for use on them. This makes sense, I suppose; the line between Pokemon and Ultra Beast is blurry at best - alien geometries and all that. The Beast Ball’s design, if you look at it in the menu, is very much inspired by the appearance of both the Ultra Wormhole (the blue square patterns) and Cosmog/Cosmoem (the gold bands encircling it).

Our business with Wicke concluded, we have one more stop to make in Aether Paradise before returning to Anabel and Looker’s motel room. Gladion is loitering around in the conservatory, in the same part of the room where we first encountered Nihilego:

In Ultra Sun, we already know about how Professor Mohn disappeared into an Ultra Wormhole and how his disappearance destabilized Lusamine. However, it takes until now for vanilla!Gladion to open up about his disappeared dad. I do like that despite his gruff demeanor, he apparently trusts us enough to tell us basically everything he knows about his family drama.

Oh yeah, and he entrusts us with one more thing, too:

Gladion mentioned there were three Type: Null made in total. One of these, obviously, is his partner Null, now a Silvally. Of the two that remain, he allows us to take one, along with literally a “whole stack” of memory drives to change its type once it evolves.

From Gladion, this is basically the highest of praise. This is also our last interaction with the guy in the game, aside from Title Defense fights at the Elite Four, so it’s fitting that there should be no loose ends between us and him at the end of it.

I may not have mentioned it before, probably because Lillie tends to take front stage whenever the Aether family’s drama gets any screentime, but Gladion gets a surprising amount of character development, all things considered. He doesn’t change in the same way that Lillie changes, per se, but as we learn more about his motivations throughout the game, the initial impression we get of him as a complete edgelord ends up almost turned on its head, while the man himself learns how to defrost around others. He’s still an edgelord, mind you - just not as big of one as it appears.

Because Type: Null was designed to be able to fight the Ultra Beasts as a “beast killer”, I thought it would be appropriate to add it to my team. It’s only Lv40 when we receive it, however, so before we return to the Interpol hut, we have a little bit of training to do to get him caught up and evolved.

Our first stop is actually the GameFreak building in Heahea City on Akala, which I completely missed on my playthrough and had to be told where it was on an online guide. After becoming Champion, we can fight Morimoto, one of the GameFreak employees, once per day.

Morimoto’s team isn’t quite as hard as Anabel’s, but their levels are about the same, so you can’t just walk in and expect a free win. Nonetheless, I did beat him, and in addition to the EXP and money, I was rewarded with the Oval Charm, which increases the likelihood of finding an Egg at the Pokemon Nursery.

The other thing we do is head towards Poni Plains, which was blocked off by an old man but is now accessible due to our Championship status. Just before we can approach him, however, who but Dexio and Sina show up for one more go-around.

I don’t think they ever found whatever it was they were looking for. That said, it’s very convenient that they should bump into me one more time before they leave. That way they can give us a Key Stone and enable Mega Evolution - not that I have any eligible ‘Mons. Still, it’s the thought that counts.

Next time, the hunt for the Ultra Beasts commences in earnest!

[regrettablewritings]

Dios Meme-o! (Rafael Barba Mini-Series, Pt. 3)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Rafael’s poisons of choice (coffee and scotch) could be divided up between day and night respectively. The coffee was for obvious reasons: To keep him awake and alert, to keep him going even when his work day was driving him to the brink of insanity (as it did all too often). The use of the scotch was also typically obvious: To drown out the stresses of the day, its trials hardly ever actually being over in the grand scheme of things. A cool down of sorts to balance out the caffeinated upper.

This evening, however? Rafael wasn’t sure exactly what the scotch was trying to boot off: the stress of the workday, or the revelation that he now appeared to have a small following? He decided the answer to be both as he took another sip of his drink. He wanted to believe that it was more so the former option but there was just something about the latter that made it stand so firmly in his mind.

Probably had something to do with the fact that even after the messages sent to him about his occupation and . . . tum (Rafael fought off the desire to shudder at the word), Carisi and Rollins continued to send him two more posts of a similar vein.

Where were they even specifically even getting all these? Rafael wondered. His eyes landed on his laptop.

Words and pictures travel fast, Rollins’ voice echoed. But just how fast was what Rafael wondered.

Against his better judgement, he committed a dangerous act born of morbid curiosity, enhanced by the slow but certain influx of bourbon into his system: He typed his own name into Google.

The first few results were what he expected: References to his past cases, articles on his most recent feats of interest, a handful of articles on his words at the most recent press conference.  

. . . Then there was what came after.

Rafael had heard about Tumblr, but not much if he had to be honest. Sites like Twitter or Facebook or other niche sites tended to be more of what he faced on a regular basis. But a site specifically platformed for blogging surprisingly did not cross his path as often as one might think. It therefore posed within him a sense of worry that the first time he would approach Tumblr would be because his name had become a tag on the site.

He was right to worry.

The deep blue background was offset by an assault on the eyes: text posts here, pictures there, gif sets of his past quotes to cameras before or after a court case, but mostly of him during his speech at the press conference.

His eyes weren’t sure where to look first, where to escape from first but no matter where he went, he’d always end up somewhere just as bizarre.

Some posts were weird –

“God those hands – like fricken’ face-huggers! I want them to smother me!!!” Without thinking, Rafael looked at his hands. He never really noted them as being big, per se. And despite the copious amounts of likes and reblogs featured in the notes section, and that nobody could even see them as they were now in real life, he couldn’t help but want to hide them.

At least three more Tum™ posts in either text or picture form with quadruple the notes and responses. In that moment, he began to strongly consider dieting and nearly opened up a new tab to research for that specific consideration.

“Lookit them veins in his hand. I wanna suck a hickey on them. Just slurp ‘em up like noodles.” . . . What?

Some were surprisingly nice, if not composed in a more bombastic way than what he felt was necessary or was used to –

“Oh, look at his tie!! I love that pattern!!” He had to admit, he himself was quite fond that the pink paisley tie they spoke of.

“Holy crap, you guys, he has green eyes! GREEN FREAKING EYES!!!” A little excited over something he’d considered uninteresting, but Rafael couldn’t stop the faint flutter of pride bubbling within him.

“His hair looks so smooth. He needs to be allowed to grow his hair out, he’d have beautiful long hair!” That made his lips purse. His hair hadn’t been long since high school, and even then it barely reached his shoulders. Frankly, his hair tended to get a little fluffy the longer it grew anyway.

“Handsome, dresses nicely, works hard, is a feminist – guys, I think I’m in love.” Yet another huge jump over something he didn’t consider to be too big of a deal. (But at least this person appeared to have decent standards.)

“Ok but it should be illegal to work a suit like that.” The self-importance fluttered a bit harder, both for the suggestion that he not only looked good, but for the fact that the ensembles he prided himself on were actually appreciated by complete strangers.

“Steal his look”, complete with clothes and accessories very similar to his own but for a fraction of the cost (how economic of them).

– Before dipping right back into weirdness . . .

“D.A. stands for ‘Dat Azz’” proclaimed Foodlemynoodle, who was ever so kind as to include a photo taken by the press of Rafael’s retreating form with a second picture edited to focus specifically on his ass.

“Barba looks like the type of guy who’s a stern lawyer in the streets but a spicy papi in the sheets <3.” There was so much wrong with that suggestion that Rafael didn’t know where to start.

“don’t you just wanna use his tie to tug him down and make out w/him?” The multiple notes responded all agreed. This worried Rafael, as tugging on someone’s tie could be very uncomfortable.

“I’d rather snap those suspenders tbqh,” came the response. Rafael grimaced, the memory of pain from previous accidental snappings becoming vivid for a brief moment.

“i want dat sloppy papi dick™,” announced one user, adding a gif of Spongebob Squarepants fervently licking a picture of Rafael that had been photoshopped into the original image.

It went on like this, growing increasingly more awkward and disconcerting by the scroll. It was only out of curiosity that Rafael kept going. That sick, masochistic curiosity and intrigue that compels someone to watch a train wreck or a distressingly bad YouTube video that gives you secondhand embarrassment. He’d just moved beyond what felt like the twentieth post about his “splendid tummy” when he’d come upon a post that wasn’t quite like the others in terms of text. It wasn’t crude or even necessarily complimentary per se but –

           “Get you a man who looks at you the way ADA Barba looks at his coffee ❤ lol jk   nobody’ll look like you like that just get ADA Barba.”

Included was the image of him at a coffee shop, receiving a cup of his favorite day drink, a rare smile gracing his features. Well. That was unnerving. Sure, he went to get coffee at an embarrassing and even likely unhealthy rate but for someone to have taken a picture of him at all while doing so was just . . . wrong.

One person called Ballr00mbombshell responded with, “Stale cinnamon roll, too jaded by this world.” This made Rafael’s brows pressed downward. Cinnamon roll? What did cinnamon rolls have to do with anything? As if his subconscious had directed him there, his sights landed on the tag section of the post:

#He was buying a cinnamon roll too!!, #such a cinnamon roll, #he probably needs something sweet if his job is dealing with such awful situations, #eat and drink on my sweet cinnamon roll son.

Okay, he thought as he moved his laptop further down his lap. Maybe I was better off not knowing . . . Wait. Cinnamon rolls. While never one to fully discriminate against foods, cinnamon rolls weren’t a thing Rafael normally got. Wait! He recognized that outfit! It was . . . It was the same damn one from the press conference! A trembling hand reached for his replenished glass of scotch and directed it to his lips, taking as hefty of a gulp as he possibly could without warranting a coughing fit.

Did he have a stalker? Already? Granted, after all his years in his field, he shouldn’t be so surprised by how fast fanaticism can rise and to what lengths. Should he tell Liv? She was so pissed the last time he avoided telling her about a threatening presence in his life . . .

As the burning liquid trickled down his throat, Rafael nearly paused it in its tracks. He realized one more thing: The angle of the photo. It was taken at the back of the shop, by the window judging by the looks of it. From the corner, he could just make out a barrel containing chips.

The girl with the Hello Kitty watercolor phone case!

An agitated grunt rumbled from Rafael’s chest and out of his mouth as the revelation became clear. He knew he wasn’t imagining things! Never before had the soft suggestion of watercolor and the innocent cuteness of a beloved children’s character worked together to produce such malcontent.

As tempting as it was to continue, the minor brush with the idea of being stalked mingled terribly with the alcohol in his disgruntled system. Rafael called it a night and tried to sleep decently.

The heavy presence of rounded stomachs and hand veins in his dreams made this out to be a difficult task.

[trishgibsontx]

discerning energy will save/start your life

photo by Anita Saini

we (most of us) are taught to not judge. I know I was taught to not judge. I was taught such in healthy ways, and also in VERY unhealthy ways. I’ll start with the healthy ways: “treat the garbage man like you would the President and vice versa — everyone is the same underneath”. and I agree with this mentality. I’ve never placed someone on a higher platform because of their appearance, money, status or anything exterior. I can’t even imagine judging someone based on their exterior (perhaps since I have always been so attuned to the interior). I believe in equal rights — and I also do not believe in equal energy. I’ll get to this part later in the post.

when my lack of judgement failed me in my personal life, over and over, and I began to change the cognitive algorithm of my mind that had been conditioned to exist only for others and their needs, I began to learn to discern. as my instincts have always been incredibly strong, I was taught early on that the polar opposite of them was true. this was so that others could live however they wanted. if I was to constantly question my own reality and thoughts, others could run over me all day. and they did.

as you will read throughout the blog, which includes much of my personal journey, I have done a tremendous amount of personal work. self-help. reflection. often to the point in which I didn’t let myself off the hook enough. I still don’t let myself off the hook enough. but that’s part of my work — my journey. and I’m grateful for it. with this vulnerability of mine, I don’t risk translating as disingenuous (at least to a sane person). and through all of this work, I have learned something that has not only saved, but continues to “start” my life when I am stuck. this thing is called: discernment. and this is the fundamental blindspot that people employ me to assist them with.

we all have blindspots, and those blindspots cater themselves to discernment or the lack thereof. we can discover some of those blindspots in therapy or through chatting with friends or taking a course or learning from someone who knows what they are talking about because they have lived it, but some of those blindspots no one is talking about — because they have not only not lived the nature of them, but very few people have and so very few people are even writing about it. this is one of the reasons that one of my pre requisite books is Dancing The Dream by Jamie Sams. she speaks my language, the language that my mind and heart understood when I joined this planet as a human being. the very nature of the blindspots I am talking about exists beyond the veil — beyond the human body, words and actions (or lack thereof). I am talking about how to help people recognize physics (aka energy), versus human behavior. and there is a BIG difference between the two.

the number one reason for stuckness is the inability to discern energy. we do this because we are (obviously) protecting some old shit in our head (ego). this cognitive dissonance forces us between a rock and a hard place, because we have been trained to “not judge” and we have not been trained beyond what the eyes can see and the ears can hear…

some of us are naturally adept at discerning energy and we don’t even know it. some of the top lawyers and doctors I’ve met have it on fleek. they can discern ALL day, but they don’t give it the same credibility or connotation as I am writing about here. they call it “experience” or “education”, when in fact they simply have the ability to see beyond the veil (this also factors into my point that no, not all energy is created equal). that notion is still too scary for most of us though. but I am going to break it down here as best I can.

first of all, we are all traumatized. most of us are in active trauma whether we realize it or not. rich or poor. ugly or attractive. regardless of appearance or status or the nonsense that our culture perpetuates as having actual meaning. and with this, we are all triggered all day — because we exist. we don’t even know how or when we are triggered because it is so often and automatic. if we are not in therapy or some type of mirrored self-work, we are at a great disadvantage. if we settle for a therapist or “helper” who tells us what we want to hear, we are perpetuating our disadvantage. we have high-class problems in this country like ego and power and control quests. every time I travel outside of the country I am amazed by the lightness and genuine issues non-Americans face. we are a collective of material privilege, across the board, regardless of where and how we live in this country. this compounds our issue around discerning from an energetic vantage point.

just like in immediate families (healthy or unhealthy), our media at large has taught us — since we were little — how and what to think. it still does, and we actually believe that we are independent thinkers. lol. I’m not going to touch on that because it will improve nothing, but I want to make it clear that each of us is a sponge – more so than we realize. our life depends on repeating our earliest memories and experiences (WHATEVER THEY WERE) hence thoughts and beliefs hence feelings. our actual consciousness is only as good as what we were taught it exactly was/is in our most formative years. a lot of what we were taught we do not remember — because it is on repeat all day and night in the background of our consciousness. and/or, simply because it is too traumatic. and we wonder why we are “stuck” or “depressed”. as Americans we actually have the luxury to be “stuck” or “depressed”. yes, myself included. it is simply our reality.

but if we step outside of the box and look — I mean really look at our individual (stop focusing on other people for God’s sake) lives, we can question why we insist on not only repeating the same self-story in our minds, but also why we do/do not discern and therefore attract the same patterns. I’m not talking about psychological discernment here, I write about that PLENTY throughout this blog. I am talking about the invisible. the “I just have a feeling”…which has little or no logic to it. in fact, it will often negate the very logic of the mind in the first place. and this is a GOOD thing!

things are not what they seem. people are not what they seem. we are just energies in human suits (how many of us are ACTUALLY able to analyze what’s moving in and out of those suits?). we are being shown this over and over, but we refuse to believe it because of our psych patterns. but what would it take to unlock xyz for us and “unstuck” us, aside from therapy and self-reflection? it would take honest intuition. and in order to be honest with our intuition, we have to have this thing called integrity. and we have to be able to spot that integrity in others. so yes, what I am saying is that integrity holds the key to EVERYTHING. seen and unseen…

when I was little I was given some very inappropriate books to read about trauma and torture in the realm of child abuse. I was also exposed to a lot of stuff no child should see or hear. and perhaps that is irrelevant to what I am writing about here, but I share it to say that this led to my intense curiosity about how the human mind and spirit work — individually and in tandem. I grew up hearing one thing but seeing another and having my mind twisted around. I am fortunate to have dodged the schizophrenia bullet, and I say that with sympathy here as I have experience with people who have that diagnosis. this forced me not only to desire to understand the human psychological condition, but perhaps more importantly what energies were driving those human mechanics in the first place.

we can be taught lots of things all day like “this is what the color purple looks like” and “this is an elephant” and “this is a sandwich”, but what if the energies behind those objects actually color it red? or make it a chicken? or a bicycle and not a sandwich at all? then, well, it is our great challenge to discern the energy so that we may actually see the truth in physical form. how do we start to do this?

forget what you know. put yourself in a very uncomfortable position. stop seeking comfort and refuge and familiarity and someone to take care of you and make you safe. shake up what you think you know. change your cozy living standards.

stop hanging out with everyone who agrees with you or thinks like you. for example. months ago I was with a friend who told me to “grow up” and consider a different way of thinking regarding a rigid protocol I had for something. so, I listened to her. I took the risk. and it turned out to be exactly what I feared it to be, but the growth I experienced as a result was priceless. I realized that I can step into hot lava repeatedly and find my own way out. I love it when smart people in my life disagree with me. about anything. it opens my mind and gives me an opportunity to simply try something, even if I think I already know the answer.

start taking a new route home from now on. I’m serious. change your personal meridian lines. our bodies recognize patterns even when our minds are checked out, and that informs our minds. I didn’t read this somewhere by the way, I am just writing about my experience and how I work with others. shake up the meridian lines that recognize the same old thing.

do a massive uncording. there is a reason I wrote that post. addiction to familiarity, even in the form of family or loved ones, is toxic to your soul. you can’t go a day or a week without talking to certain people? question that with intense seriousness. why? what are you protecting your mind from? truth?

consider opposite points of view at all times and actually research those opposite points of view. if you dare! by the way, points of view also do NOT define a person. if you believe this, then you have plenty of work to do before you can access your intuition in order to discern. for example: I have friends from all political walks of life. literally opposing opinions and initiatives. they each campaigned for three distinctive and separate political candidates we had in 2016. the very idea that if people don’t think like us, they are bad or there is something wrong with them, is the OPPOSITE of progressive. and guess what? each group of people I know contains good people. imagine that. sometimes we are actually the opposite of what we claim to promote…

now back to discerning. I believe in prepping the mind and soul to be able to do this. we have to see many different angles of people and life to be able to do it. even the most “intuitive” people have selective intuition. and as I repeatedly state, intuition of “special abilities” or “psychic abilities” do NOT make someone a good person. I’ve learned the hard way, mostly in my youth. so what are some methods to use, beyond the veil/”obvious”?

pay attention to how your body feels. do you feel tired and lacking in ambition when you are with a person? most likely this person, unless they are healing you and they have some awareness of such and can explain the ins and outs of such to you fully, is draining you. but there is also an opposite type of energy vampire to discern against…

a non-obvious energy vampire is the crux of this post here — the non-obvious vampire is the one we feel energized by. BUT…we can’t shake thinking that something is off. deep down. in our basement of intuition. there is ALWAYS a flag. even if we hide it until the final moment. feeling “amazing” around a person happens to be a classic telltale sign of a true sociopath or psychopath, by the way. it is how certain people are able to kill actual human beings, and return to their families for dinner like nothing happened. consider the Scott Peterson case, for example. yes, aside from studying the psychology of these folks, I’ve also been fascinated by studying their energy. and I’ve met plenty of people like this. what they have is a classic sociopathic quality that I call “mirroring” — they are actually able, without ANY conscious effort and via a real physics skizm, to mirror back YOUR gifts and attributes that are so wonderful, while making you believe that you feel that way because of that other person. don’t ask why these people exist, they just DO — and I believe it’s all part of contrast as well as a giant human spiritual test. to see where our integrity REALLY resides…

where is your integrity? I say integrity because with each sociopath or psychopath I have met, I had to ask myself WHAT it was that I liked about them? well, they played to my ego. any crazy person will do that. a couple of male doctors, a handicapped person in a wheelchair and an otherwise evil woman or two later, I’ve seen all tactics be used when it comes to others wanting something from me — in terms of my energy. look around in the “spiritual” community; there are many of these players in it. if we have integrity, we will not be charmed by others. so, if you are insecure or need approval from others, chances are you will be a magnet to crazy people. I think I dated one sociopath when I was 25. he had no feelings at all. he faked them. he didn’t understand how I worked. he didn’t understand anything unconditional. he asked me odd questions about how and why I was able to be unconditional and loving. he read my scary Scott Peck books like People Of The Lie. after him, I never forgot what a crazy person feels like. and while I don’t recall him ever complimenting me or even being nice to me, he nonetheless had the mirrored-quality thing going on — I was able to see MY skills and talents reflected off of him, but I attributed those qualities TO him instead of myself. crazy people often carry a cool, calm and collected demeanor under ANY circumstances by the way. it is almost as if they don’t exist at all. it is very important to feel into this no matter who you are in contact with, as it is equally relevant to the real on paper facts about them (what is their real story? would you let someone you care about spend time with them?). self-integrity will cut through a lot of the bs need for approval that crazy people spot miles away on another person. and by the way, we are all susceptible to crazy people — so don’t feel bad if you’ve attracted them. they are smart because they are crazy. you are not stupid if you have engaged with them. it happens all of the time. integrity is just the best defense against reining them in long-term.

stop using logic to make any decisions for you. if I used logic at all, my life would already be over as I know it. I had to logic my way out of getting married in my late 20s and early 30s to “great guys”. I would be SO miserable if that had happened, regardless of what society was promoting as acceptable. I had to logic my way out of “great opportunities” with famous people. what is it with famous people, anyhow? why do we make them important? why do we make their opinions important? if I had used logic with my business, this practice, or any of my purpose, I would have likely already been devoured. instead of deciding that someone was “safe” or “important” because they held xyz title, I simply listened to my irrational intuition that said no. and this is why I have the life that I have now. I could be rich. I could be married. I could be all of the things that we are told matters. but I repeatedly choose inner happiness through irrational intuition and integrity. and this is the only thing in life that is real. when people see me, they often think that I am the “luckiest” person they know, or “very fortunate” — what I am, is honest with myself. and sometimes honesty is lonely. but it is worth infinite gold.

we have already seen society (Hollywood, politics, corporate, etc) flip and land on its head. it had to. we were living lies! wittingly and unwittingly. there are still many veils of illusion to uncover, within ourselves and within the world around us. but we won’t get there on logic anymore. we will get there on unpopular facts and beliefs, and our intuition. but we can’t hear our intuition if we are following the herd, or any herd for that matter — and we can’t access our intuition if we are not honest with ourselves, which means we need to be independent beings first. if we still need a bottle and a wipe from someone in our life, we are preventing ourselves from our own integrity and intuition. and why does all of this matter? it matters because so many of us are UNHAPPY and don’t know why. I’m trying to tell you why.

consider for a moment what goes into our human container. what goes into it? energy. how do we quantify energy? is it something on paper like I am trying to explain it is not, in the above paragraphs? or is it an intangible that can not be explained yet? what happens when we all start to see beyond the veil, the human body? we see that all energy is NOT created equal. so this means that not all humans, in terms of their energy, are created equal. and how could they be? they couldn’t. we are not given measuring sticks of ingredients when we are conceived. there is so much that we do not understand about the unseen. this needs to be taken into consideration when looking at a human suit/body/”person” — regardless of who is talking and what they are saying. much of our happiness, or lack thereof, lies in discerning energy.

I’ve had a lot of recent conversations with former patients about the ability of the human body and spirit to shapeshift — on the intangible plane — according to what it was to TAKE from others. without going into this a ton here (and you can read my pre req books and eBooklets for more information), so much happens on the intangible plane that we have no reference to understand. and we need to. the evolution of humanity hinges upon what is TRUE, and what is true can not be seen with the human eye. therefore we are in a series of difficult and intense human tests to shake up our realities to the point in which we have no choice but to start to exercise our source-given intuition. this will naturally flip our society on its head. because we have not lived in truth. it’s been too easy to not have to. we have yet to see that we are not actually physical beings, and to look underneath the hood of ourselves and those around us. technology, ironically, is going to take us part of the way to understanding the unseen as it utilizes intangible energy and wavelengths (obviously) but is “proven” by science. and the non-physical, separate from technology as a science (because there is no real science on this non-physical yet) is a scary notion, because people don’t know where to start. I’m telling you where to start, just as I work with those in sessions.

my favorite quote from my Healing Elaine® Movement clips on science and intuition

it is not bad to discern. it is paramount. what I have found is that the very things I was taught not to “judge” or “discern”, I absolutely have to — such as questioning authority, or actually NOT overlooking someone’s past. and it’s not just me: we have all been trained, collectively, in a certain direction: in case it is not already clear, that direction no longer works. what has appeared to be up is actually down, and what has appeared to be down is actually up. we will see this if we are willing and therefore able to discern energy (people). the very act of making this move not only has the ability to save your life, but it will certainly restart it when you have been “stuck” for a long period of time. all “stuckness” is, is doing the same things and expecting a different result. sounds a lot like insanity yes? because it is. consider for a moment that everything you have been taught is not two-dimensional, but has a third side to it. that third side is the entire energetic signature space between “black and white” thinking. that energetic signature space is the very spore of discernment.

        The post discerning energy will save/start your life appeared first on © The Medical Intuitive Blog by Healing Elaine®: Bridging the Gap Between Medical & Spiritual™.

from Trisha Gibson https://www.healingelaine.com/2018/11/11/discerning-energy-will-save-start-your-life/

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The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue)

The HPA Axis Dysfunction or Adrenal Fatigue

HPA Axis Dysfunction or adrenal fatigue is real…don’t believe me? Read on for yourself to find out how it can happen to anyone, and the #1 cause behind it all. 

I’ve been quiet in social media world the past several months and, to be honest, it’s been a rough stretch to say the least. In short: “Adrenal fatigue” or HPA Axis Dysfunction is real, and if you’ve ever experienced an extreme bout of stress, you’ll know what I mean. Here’s a little personal story, and the science and research to prove it. 

Stress = The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction

In fact, stress alone is the #1 driver of HPA Axis Dysfunction—the primary attributed cause of practically every known ailment plaguing our society today—from diabetes, to cancer, autoimmune disease, anxiety and beyond.

Contrary to popular belief, stress goes far beyond just mental stress alone.

Physical stress is often times even more detrimental, as it more easily goes unseen, including: imbalances in the basic human needs (such as lack of sleep, dehydration, poor nutrient density, sedentary or overtraining lifestyles), to gut dysfunction (SIBO, leaky gut, IBS), circadian rhythm dysfunction, inflammation, and light exposure (blue screens, light at night, etc.).

In fact, you can be sitting on a beach in Tahiti with a margarita in hand, seemingly no care in the world, but your body STILL be under a significant amount of stress, such as: fighting leaky gut and acne, experiencing shortness of breath from overwork in your daily lifestyle and lack of sleep, and hormone imbalances from overtraining in the gym and under-eating fat and protein.

Regardless of what type of stress you face (physical or mental), our bodies can only take so much stress. While stress is inevitable (impossible to avoid in modern day), if you go over your individualized threshold of stress or experience a significant amount of stress in a short amount of time, your body may back fire.

Enter: “Adrenal Fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction.”

My HPA Axis Dysfunction Story

It all began in March of 2018.

Actually, rephrase that: It all began about 3 years ago, in 2015—the beginnings of my business and life as an entrepreneur.

Eager to “save the world” with my business aspirations in the health and wellness field, I went to work on the front lines, doing things like:

My Job (“Saving the World”)

Therapy:

Providing counseling and therapy services to individuals with emotional baggage to get rid of;

Nutrition:

Offering support plans and nutritional guidance for individuals seeking health improvements;

Functional Medicine:

Knocking conventional medicine on its head with functional medicine—providing tools, resources, protocols and procedures for helping people truly heal, not just manage their disease:

—You know, just “saving the world” (or trying to).

Along with these pursuits, a sneak peek into my life as an entrepreneur looked something like this for a couple years:

HPA Axis Dysfunction Begins: (Stressful) Life of an Entrepreneur (Beginning Fall of 2015)

6 a.m. Rise & Shine. Wakeup to my alarm across the room (despite wanting to go back to sleep after 5 hours of sleep)

Brushing my teeth, swigging a protein shake, and rushing to get ready for the day to make it to the gym by 6:30 a.m. or 7

7-8:30 a.m. Workout. Hitting a workout in the gym first thing to get energized for the day

8:30 a.m. Breakfast: Another protein shake, greens, coconut butter and 1/2 a banana on my way to my office

9 a.m.-2 p.m. Work It Start the work day, seeing new clients and writing or creating my next online project or book.

2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Workout #2. Hit the gym again for a break in the middle of the work day to burn off energy and clear my head.

3:30 p.m. Lunch. Chicken, avocado, greens, beets.

4 pm-7:30 p.m. Work It. Back to the grind.

7:30 or 8 p.m. Group Meeting. Mixing, mingling and talking more about business.

9:30 p.m. Workout. Force myself to hit the gym again after a long afternoon of sitting to work out pent up energy for 40-60 minutes.

10:30 p.m. Dinner. Dinner at home: Turkey burger patty, sweet potato, coconut butter, greens sautéed in ghee.

11 p.m.-1 a.m. Work. Finish my work for the day (e-mails, admin, etc.).

1 or 1:30 a.m. Bed. Hit the sack and sleep like a rock for about 5 hours.

Wakeup and do it all over again! 

But Stress is “Normal” Right?…

Can you relate?

Or do you know anyone who is an entrepreneur, or in school, or loves what they do, or who is super stressed over their work or life—and keeps a similar schedule? (Burning a candle at ALL ends).

Face it: Stress and “running on a hamster wheel” is normal, and if you are NOT doing it, then you better watch out because (gasp) you may fall behind.

Although I thought I was made of “steel”—immune of stress wreaking havoc on my health—my body had other plans in mind.

Before I realized it, various (silent) health issues began to arise including:

Health Issues Arise (2016-2017)

IBS

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Unwanted weight loss (losing about 10 pounds over the course of about 3 years due to malabsorption and gut issues)

Bloating after eating

Chronic constipation

Shortness of breath if I slept less than 5 hours multiple days in a row

Gym performance decline (loss of strength, endurance, gains in the gym)

Hormone imbalances (losing my period)

However, despite all these “new” symptoms, I was completely checked out from my body—laser focused on checking off to-do lists, getting further ahead in business and growing a company.

In addition to not feeling on “top of my A-game,” other things in my life began to shift too, such as:

Lifestyle Imbalance (2016-2017)

Isolation from friendships (in place of work)

Working on weekends and evenings instead of spending time with people or taking breaks

Lack of interests and activities outside of work

Disconnection from my “source”—time spent in Word, prayer

Disconnection from the great outdoors (staying inside most of the days)

Over-screen exposure (upwards of 10-12 hours per day in front of a computer)

Loss of “who I am” or what I like to do (outside work)

Running towards a goal with no end in sight

To say the least, I became more like a robot, and less like “Lauryn”—the well rounded individual I am in my core.

I could talk and write all day about living a health lifestyle, and I knew WHAT to do, but when it came to my own health and life, there wasn’t time to do all the things I preached about!

As a busy entrepreneur, trying to save the world, who had time to do things like sleep 7-8 hours, or mix up my workouts, or eat a variety of nutrient dense foods, or make time for hobbies and passions and relationships?!

This schedule and pace continued for a good 3 years before my body really began to speak—letting me know that something was up.

Getting Out of Balance: SIBO, Leaky Gut, IBS & Beyond (September 2017)

Come September 2017, I was hit with a severe case of SIBO—Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth—in which my body, under high amounts of physical and mental stress, developed a gut condition where unhealthy bacteria overpopulated my small intestine.

The result?

Rapid weight loss and IBS.

Although I have struggled with “gut stuff” (constipation and IBS) most of my life, things really kicked up.

Seemingly overnight, I went from just feeling bloated after most meals to having to run to the bathroom after most meals with loose watery stools, or the opposite, waking up super constipated—unable to go at all.

This conundrum continued for a good 4 months before I decided to dig deeper and consider what else may be going on under the hood.

Thanks to my functional medicine background and training program at the time, we were actually learning about SIBO at the same time, and come to find out, SIBO is exactly what I had—triggering unwanted weight loss, malabsorption, bloating, constipation, tummy cramps, and the inability to tolerate most FODMAP foods.

At the turn of the New Year (January 2018), I was treating SIBO at home with a strict supplement protocol, courtesy of my functional medicine training, and by the end of February, I was feeling much better on the gut front—except about 10 pounds lighter than I’d want to be.

“What’s wrong with Lauryn?” I could sense others saying with their eyes, and it appeared I was “back” into my eating disorder that I had struggled with from ages 10-24.

I could hardly look in the mirror myself, and sitting at barely 100 pounds (on a “good day”), for my 5’4’’ frame, I felt it—felt weaker, and more discouraged, despite being more at peace with eating, feeding my body well and even giving up cardio in place of more muscle building workouts.

However, despite my efforts to gain weight—it wasn’t happening. Eating approximately 2400 calories each day wasn’t doing it. “Carbing up” wasn’t doing it. Working out a little bit less wasn’t doing it.

By March 2018, I found myself in a Gastrointestinal Doctor’s office to try to “get to the bottom” of things to see what—if anything—in my gut was still keeping me from putting on some weight that I wanted, and the conventional medicine “rabbit hole” began.”

The Plot Thickens: The Triggering Event (My Colonoscopy) (March 2018)

To start, the doctor ordered a CT scan of my intestines to start, finding a presentation of a “Megacolon” and “Autoimmune bowel,” and advising we do a colonoscopy to do some deeper digging to see what, if any, autoimmune diseases were present as well as any blockage or structural issues preventing me from absorbing nutrients and restoring bowel function.

In addition, I had a full blood panel done and hormone panel, and the results revealed:

Iron Overload

Low Thyroid Function

Low Vitamin D

SUPER High Cortisol

Low Sex Hormones (practically NO testosterone, estrogen, progesterone)

By the end of March, “C-Day” (“colonoscopy day”) arrived (and so did countless health side effects from this invasive procedure).

Colonscopies: More Harm Than Good

Colonoscopies have become one of the most prescribed outpatient procedures in America with more than 15-million performed each year (1) (CDC, 2016), and are only growing in prevalence.

While only about 50% of adults, ages 50-75, who “should have” colonoscopies comply with recommended guidelines, in 2018, the National Colorectal Cancer Roundtable (a group of public and private organizations) aims to raise the percentage of people screened for colorectal cancer to 80%.

And although colonoscopies are thought to be “necessary” for detecting “gut issues”—particularly colon cancer—they actually may be more detrimental than good.

In fact, according to Dr. Mercola and Dr. Michael Greger, about 1 in every 350 colonoscopies end up doing serious harm. 

I am a case study example.

Colonoscopy: Little Known Side Effects

Common (little known) side effects from this invasive bacteria with a scope include:

Perforation (puncturing) of the intestines (Gatto et al, 2003) (2)

Dysbiosis (imbalanced gut bacteria) (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Infection with another person’s gut bacteria

Eradication of healthy gut bacteria from prep (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Electrolyte, bacteria and blood sugar imbalances (from the “prep diet” and extreme cleansing that is mandated) (Shobar et al, 2016) (4) (Mai et al, 2006) (5)

The result?

A gut microbiome that is “worse” off then prior to the colonoscopy.

Given that our gut bacteria and our gut itself is the “gateway” to health, if our gut bacteria gets off (or even MORE off), then you can bet your bottom dollar, other body systems get “off” by “imbalanced.”

Healthy gut bacteria or unhealthy gut bacteria determine whether the following body mechanisms are healthy or unhealthy, including:

Gut Bacteria Govern Our Health

Immune function (disease, skin) (Oregon State University, 2013) (6) (Nanjundappa et al, 2017) (7)

Digestion (Lawrence, 2017) (8) (Kim et al, 2012) (9)

Heart/cardiac function (Tang et al, 2017) (10)

Weight and metabolism (Filip et al, 2018) (11)

Blood sugar regulation (Kumamoto University, 2018) (12)

Brain health (anxiety (Hoban et al, 2017) (13), depression (Clapp, 2017) (14) and memory (Lund University, 2017) (15)

Adrenal health (i.e. “HPA-Axis” affecting hormones, cortisol and thyroid) (Konturek et al, 2011) (16) (Cryan et al, 2011) (17)

Exercise progress (or plateaus) (Clarke et al, 2014) (18)

Headaches (Gonzalez et al, 2016) (19)

Attention/ADHD/ADD (Carmen et al, 2017) (20)

Cancer (Fellows et al, 2018) (21)

A better option than colonoscopies?

Stool testing—Addressing gut bacteria and gut health itself—prior to looking for structural issues with a scope. (Bullman et al, 2017) (21)

Since gut bacteria, gut infections, parasites and bacterial imbalances determine whether you get cancer, IBS or autoimmune disease in the first place, comprehensive stool analysis, like this one by Doctors Data or this one by GI Map, can be tremendously helpful in assessing “underlying issues.” Additionally, organic acids testing, SIBO breath testing and even a new blood test (Tsai et al, 2018) can give you more information as well.

(This is something a GI doc won’t typically tell you).

Me: Post Colonoscopy (April-May 2018)

My colonoscopy was the “straw” that broke the camel’s back —accumulating the past 3 years of stress in one fatal swoop on “C-Day” (colonoscopy day).

The “prep diet” was too much for my already-weakened body to handle (i.e. clear liquid fasting). Couple NOT eating all day with a full bottle of Miralax laxative powder, laxative tablets and all afternoon on the toilet, and by midnight that night, I was “far gone.”

Walking up the stairs to go to bed, I blacked out—passing out on the floor, and eliminating more bowels.

It took me about a minute to come to, as I don’t remember what happened, and strewn on the floor, my body started convulsing and trembling, my teeth chattering, and all I remember is asking my mom for a banana—some potassium.

Ten minutes later, the ambulance was there, and I was hooked up to IV fluids, EKG monitor and  a blood pressure cuff on my way to Dell Seton Medical.

“Electrolyte imbalance,” the ER doc diagnosed, and by 4 a.m., my mom and I were back out the door to prepare for my 5 a.m. colonoscopy arrival time.

I went through with the procedure, but little did I realize the “health issues” were not over, as my body spent the next 5-6 weeks trying to recover from the stressful event, inclusive to:

2 more ER visits (for “electrolyte imbalances” and hypoglycemia)

3 urgent care visits for more fluids and blood work

A GI Doctor office that would not return my phone calls post-procedure

A severe acute allergic reaction to a cat that moved in with a new roommate

Blood sugar highs and crashes

And more than a handful of diagnoses, speculations and prescriptions from docs trying to figure out what was going on, including: Asthma, Type I Diabetes, obstructed respiratory system, low sodium, iron overload, and…adrenal insufficiency (aka: “adrenal fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”). 

Adrenal Insufficiency (aka: HPA Axis Dysfunction)

Adrenal insufficiency (aka adrenal fatigue—or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”)  IS real, and although our bodies are resilient to handle stress, if TOO MUCH stress happens at once, or a SUPER STRESSFUL event sets you over the edge, then HPA Axis Dysfunction is a byproduct.

The result?

Complete body imbalance. 

The news was really no new news to me. It was more like an “A ha!” moment.

A ha! This is EXACTLY what I had been experiencing all along, I thought.

I could talk about adrenal insufficiency or HPA Axis Dysfunction ALL DAY LONG. I could write about it and educate others about it.

However, when it came to looking at myself in the mirror and facing the facts that I had NOT been taking myself…easier said than done. (It is like the nail salon technician that paints everyone else’s nails—but their own).

Flat on my back, in a hospital bed in the ER after an emergency trip due to a 3 a.m. hypoglycemic blood crash after a friend’s wedding in Dallas was the wakeup call I needed.

For the past two years, (ever since my symptoms of SIBO, gut dysfunction and other health maladies had begun), my prayers had been:

“Lord, be Lord over my body,” 

“Lord, bring the manna and balance to my life,” and,

“God, help restore my body to health and help me put on healthy weight.”

Be careful what you pray for.

Never in a million years did I think that my “answer” to my prayer would be in the form of a blood sugar crash, but it was the wake up call I needed.

It was as if God was saying: “Lauryn, you DON’T have to save the world…I have already done enough.” And, “Instead of trying to bring glory to yourself, bring glory to me. Live out the gifts I’ve created and let me provide the rest.”

Mic drop.

I spent the rest of the weekend, praying, thinking and broken. I didn’t want to go back to my hamster wheel ways.

And you know what…I didn’t have to. I don’t have to. And whatever plates you are spinning or race you are running too…You don’t have to either.

How HPA Axis Dysfunction Happens

So…how did my body get SO out of whack in the first place?! How does HPA Axis Dysfunction REALLY happen?

In functional medicine, there is typically a “triggering event” that sets the body “over the edge” for HPA Axis Dysfunction and distress.

In my case: the colonoscopy (on top of the past 3 years of stress) resulted in disrupted gut bacteria, along with my side effects:

My Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

“Diabetes,” hypothyroidism

Unwanted weight loss and inability to gain weight

Suppressed immune function

Autoimmune disease

Feeling “wired and tired”

Shortness of breath

Hormone imbalances

Apathy about my work

IBS

Poor workout performance

Electrolyte imbalances

Melancholy mood

 …And, to say the least, an entrepreneur who was anything BUT her healthiest, most vibrant, kick-ass self.   

Other Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

For others, “adrenal fatigue” or HPA-Axis Dysfunction may present as one or several of the following:

Inability to lose weight

Mood swings

Fatigue

Anxiety or Depression

Autoimmune conditions

Food intolerances

Insomnia

Needing coffee or sugar to function

Headaches

High blood pressure

Low or high heart rate

Feeling dizzy when standing up

Inability to concentrate/focus or memory loss

Lyme disease

Catching colds, flus or illnesses easily

Not “feeling like yourself”

Skin breakouts or acne

Feeling burned out or unable to do your usual basic “to dos”

Inability to tolerate exercise like you once did

Random allergies you’ve never had before

 How does adrenal fatigue happen to one person but not another? What separates “adrenal fatigue,” or HPA Axis Dysfunction from regular stress?

Check out this blog to find out ALL about adrenal fatigue and HPA Axis Dysfunction, how to find out if you have it and how you (and I) can heal.

Resources

1. CDC. 2016. Colorectal Cancer Screening Capacity in the United States

2. Nicolle M. Gatto, Harold Frucht, Vijaya Sundararajan, Judith S. Jacobson, Victor R. Grann, Alfred I. Neugut; Risk of Perforation After Colonoscopy and Sigmoidoscopy: A Population-Based Study, JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute, Volume 95, Issue 3, 5 February 2003, Pages 230–236,

3. Lorenzo et al. 2016. Persisting changes of intestinal microbiota after bowel lavage and colonoscopy

4. Shobar et al. 2016. The Effects of Bowel Preparation on Microbiota-Related Metrics Differ in Health and in Inflammatory Bowel Disease and for the Mucosal and Luminal Microbiota Compartments.

5. Mai, V., Greenwald, B., Glenn Morris, J., Raufman, J., & Stine, O. C. (2006). Effect of bowel preparation and colonoscopy on post‐procedure intestinal microbiota composition. Gut, 55(12), 1822–1823.

6. Immune: Oregon State University. (2013, September 16). Gut microbes closely linked to proper immune function, other health issues. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018

7. Immune: Nanjundappa et al, 2017. A Gut Microbial Mimic that Hijacks Diabetogenic Autoreactivity to Suppress Colitis.

8. Digestion: Lawrence, K., & Hyde, J. (2017). Microbiome restoration diet improves digestion, cognition and physical and emotional wellbeing. PLoS ONE, 12(6), e0179017.

9. Digestion: Gene Kim, Fnu Deepinder, Walter Morales, Laura Hwang, Stacy Weitsman, Christopher Chang, Robert Gunsalus, Mark Pimentel. Methanobrevibacter smithii Is the Predominant Methanogen in Patients with Constipation-Predominant IBS and Methane on Breath. Digestive Diseases and Sciences, 2012; DOI: 10.1007/s10620-012-2197-1

10. Heart: Tang et al, 2017. Gut Microbiota in Cardiovascular Health and Disease

11. Weight: Filip Ottosson, Louise Brunkwall, Ulrika Ericson, Peter M Nilsson, Peter Almgren, Céline Fernandez, Olle Melander, Marju Orho-Melander. Connection between BMI related plasma metabolite profile and gut microbiota. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 01 February 2018 DOI: 10.1210/jc.2017-02114/4834036

12. Blood Sugar: Kumamoto University. (2018, April 10). How intestinal bacteria can affect your blood sugar and lipid levels. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180410100937.htm

13. Anxiety: Alan E. Hoban, Roman M. Stilling, Gerard M. Moloney, Rachel D. Moloney, Fergus Shanahan, Timothy G. Dinan, John F. Cryan, Gerard Clarke. Microbial regulation of microRNA expression in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Microbiome, 2017; 5 (1) DOI: 10.1186/s40168-017-0321-3

14. Depression: Clapp, M., Aurora, N., Herrera, L., Bhatia, M., Wilen, E., & Wakefield, S. (2017). Gut microbiota’s effect on mental health: The gut-brain axis. Clinics and Practice, 7(4), 987.

15. Memory: Lund University. (2017, February 10). Gut bacteria may play a role in Alzheimer’s disease. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from

16. Adrenal Health: Konturek, P. C., Brzozowski, T., & Konturek, S. J. (2011). Stress and the gut: pathophysiology, clinical consequences, diagnostic approach and treatment options. Journal of physiology and pharmacology : an official journal of the Polish Physiological Society, 6, 591–599

17. Adrenal Health: Cryan, J. F., & O’Mahony, S. M. (2011). The microbiome-gut-brain axis: From bowel to behavior. Neurogastroenterology & Motility, 23(3), 187–192. doi:10.1111/j.1365–2982.2010.01664.x

18. Exercise: Clarke, S. F., Murphy, E. F., O’sullivan, O., Lucey, A. J., Humphreys, M., Hogan, A., . . . Cotter, P. D. (2014). Exercise and associated dietary extremes impact on gut microbial diversity. Gut, 63(12), 1913–1920.

19, Headaches: Antonio Gonzalez, Embriette Hyde, Naseer Sangwan, Jack A. Gilbert, Erik Viirre, Rob Knight. Migraines Are Correlated with Higher Levels of Nitrate-, Nitrite-, and Nitric Oxide-Reducing Oral Microbes in the American Gut Project Cohort. mSystems Oct 2016, 1 (5) e00105-16; DOI: 10.1128/mSystems.00105-16

20, Attention: Carmen Cenit, María & Campillo Nuevo, Isabel & codoñer-franch, Pilar & G. Dinan, Timothy & Sanz, Yolanda. (2017). Gut microbiota and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: new perspectives for a challenging condition. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 26. 10.1007/s00787-017-0969-z.

21. Cancer: Fellows et al. 2018. Microbiota derived short chain fatty acids promote histone crotonylation in the colon through histone deacetylases. Nature.  9(105). doi:10.1038/s41467-017-02651-5.

Tsai et al. 2018. Prospective clinical study of circulating tumor cells for colorectal cancer screening. Journal of Clinical Oncology. 36, no. 4_suppl. 556-556… DOI: 10.1200/JCO.2018.36.4_suppl.556.

22. 6. Bullman et al. 2017. Analysis of Fusobacterium persistence and antibiotic response in colorectal cancer. DOI: 10.1126/science.aal5240

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The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue)

The HPA Axis Dysfunction or Adrenal Fatigue

HPA Axis Dysfunction or adrenal fatigue is real…don’t believe me? Read on for yourself to find out how it can happen to anyone, and the #1 cause behind it all. 

I’ve been quiet in social media world the past several months and, to be honest, it’s been a rough stretch to say the least. In short: “Adrenal fatigue” or HPA Axis Dysfunction is real, and if you’ve ever experienced an extreme bout of stress, you’ll know what I mean. Here’s a little personal story, and the science and research to prove it. 

Stress = The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction

In fact, stress alone is the #1 driver of HPA Axis Dysfunction—the primary attributed cause of practically every known ailment plaguing our society today—from diabetes, to cancer, autoimmune disease, anxiety and beyond.

Contrary to popular belief, stress goes far beyond just mental stress alone.

Physical stress is often times even more detrimental, as it more easily goes unseen, including: imbalances in the basic human needs (such as lack of sleep, dehydration, poor nutrient density, sedentary or overtraining lifestyles), to gut dysfunction (SIBO, leaky gut, IBS), circadian rhythm dysfunction, inflammation, and light exposure (blue screens, light at night, etc.).

In fact, you can be sitting on a beach in Tahiti with a margarita in hand, seemingly no care in the world, but your body STILL be under a significant amount of stress, such as: fighting leaky gut and acne, experiencing shortness of breath from overwork in your daily lifestyle and lack of sleep, and hormone imbalances from overtraining in the gym and under-eating fat and protein.

Regardless of what type of stress you face (physical or mental), our bodies can only take so much stress. While stress is inevitable (impossible to avoid in modern day), if you go over your individualized threshold of stress or experience a significant amount of stress in a short amount of time, your body may back fire.

Enter: “Adrenal Fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction.”

My HPA Axis Dysfunction Story

It all began in March of 2018.

Actually, rephrase that: It all began about 3 years ago, in 2015—the beginnings of my business and life as an entrepreneur.

Eager to “save the world” with my business aspirations in the health and wellness field, I went to work on the front lines, doing things like:

My Job (“Saving the World”)

Therapy:

Providing counseling and therapy services to individuals with emotional baggage to get rid of;

Nutrition:

Offering support plans and nutritional guidance for individuals seeking health improvements;

Functional Medicine:

Knocking conventional medicine on its head with functional medicine—providing tools, resources, protocols and procedures for helping people truly heal, not just manage their disease:

—You know, just “saving the world” (or trying to).

Along with these pursuits, a sneak peek into my life as an entrepreneur looked something like this for a couple years:

HPA Axis Dysfunction Begins: (Stressful) Life of an Entrepreneur (Beginning Fall of 2015)

6 a.m. Rise & Shine. Wakeup to my alarm across the room (despite wanting to go back to sleep after 5 hours of sleep)

Brushing my teeth, swigging a protein shake, and rushing to get ready for the day to make it to the gym by 6:30 a.m. or 7

7-8:30 a.m. Workout. Hitting a workout in the gym first thing to get energized for the day

8:30 a.m. Breakfast: Another protein shake, greens, coconut butter and 1/2 a banana on my way to my office

9 a.m.-2 p.m. Work It Start the work day, seeing new clients and writing or creating my next online project or book.

2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Workout #2. Hit the gym again for a break in the middle of the work day to burn off energy and clear my head.

3:30 p.m. Lunch. Chicken, avocado, greens, beets.

4 pm-7:30 p.m. Work It. Back to the grind.

7:30 or 8 p.m. Group Meeting. Mixing, mingling and talking more about business.

9:30 p.m. Workout. Force myself to hit the gym again after a long afternoon of sitting to work out pent up energy for 40-60 minutes.

10:30 p.m. Dinner. Dinner at home: Turkey burger patty, sweet potato, coconut butter, greens sautéed in ghee.

11 p.m.-1 a.m. Work. Finish my work for the day (e-mails, admin, etc.).

1 or 1:30 a.m. Bed. Hit the sack and sleep like a rock for about 5 hours.

Wakeup and do it all over again! 

But Stress is “Normal” Right?…

Can you relate?

Or do you know anyone who is an entrepreneur, or in school, or loves what they do, or who is super stressed over their work or life—and keeps a similar schedule? (Burning a candle at ALL ends).

Face it: Stress and “running on a hamster wheel” is normal, and if you are NOT doing it, then you better watch out because (gasp) you may fall behind.

Although I thought I was made of “steel”—immune of stress wreaking havoc on my health—my body had other plans in mind.

Before I realized it, various (silent) health issues began to arise including:

Health Issues Arise (2016-2017)

IBS

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Unwanted weight loss (losing about 10 pounds over the course of about 3 years due to malabsorption and gut issues)

Bloating after eating

Chronic constipation

Shortness of breath if I slept less than 5 hours multiple days in a row

Gym performance decline (loss of strength, endurance, gains in the gym)

Hormone imbalances (losing my period)

However, despite all these “new” symptoms, I was completely checked out from my body—laser focused on checking off to-do lists, getting further ahead in business and growing a company.

In addition to not feeling on “top of my A-game,” other things in my life began to shift too, such as:

Lifestyle Imbalance (2016-2017)

Isolation from friendships (in place of work)

Working on weekends and evenings instead of spending time with people or taking breaks

Lack of interests and activities outside of work

Disconnection from my “source”—time spent in Word, prayer

Disconnection from the great outdoors (staying inside most of the days)

Over-screen exposure (upwards of 10-12 hours per day in front of a computer)

Loss of “who I am” or what I like to do (outside work)

Running towards a goal with no end in sight

To say the least, I became more like a robot, and less like “Lauryn”—the well rounded individual I am in my core.

I could talk and write all day about living a health lifestyle, and I knew WHAT to do, but when it came to my own health and life, there wasn’t time to do all the things I preached about!

As a busy entrepreneur, trying to save the world, who had time to do things like sleep 7-8 hours, or mix up my workouts, or eat a variety of nutrient dense foods, or make time for hobbies and passions and relationships?!

This schedule and pace continued for a good 3 years before my body really began to speak—letting me know that something was up.

Getting Out of Balance: SIBO, Leaky Gut, IBS & Beyond (September 2017)

Come September 2017, I was hit with a severe case of SIBO—Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth—in which my body, under high amounts of physical and mental stress, developed a gut condition where unhealthy bacteria overpopulated my small intestine.

The result?

Rapid weight loss and IBS.

Although I have struggled with “gut stuff” (constipation and IBS) most of my life, things really kicked up.

Seemingly overnight, I went from just feeling bloated after most meals to having to run to the bathroom after most meals with loose watery stools, or the opposite, waking up super constipated—unable to go at all.

This conundrum continued for a good 4 months before I decided to dig deeper and consider what else may be going on under the hood.

Thanks to my functional medicine background and training program at the time, we were actually learning about SIBO at the same time, and come to find out, SIBO is exactly what I had—triggering unwanted weight loss, malabsorption, bloating, constipation, tummy cramps, and the inability to tolerate most FODMAP foods.

At the turn of the New Year (January 2018), I was treating SIBO at home with a strict supplement protocol, courtesy of my functional medicine training, and by the end of February, I was feeling much better on the gut front—except about 10 pounds lighter than I’d want to be.

“What’s wrong with Lauryn?” I could sense others saying with their eyes, and it appeared I was “back” into my eating disorder that I had struggled with from ages 10-24.

I could hardly look in the mirror myself, and sitting at barely 100 pounds (on a “good day”), for my 5’4’’ frame, I felt it—felt weaker, and more discouraged, despite being more at peace with eating, feeding my body well and even giving up cardio in place of more muscle building workouts.

However, despite my efforts to gain weight—it wasn’t happening. Eating approximately 2400 calories each day wasn’t doing it. “Carbing up” wasn’t doing it. Working out a little bit less wasn’t doing it.

By March 2018, I found myself in a Gastrointestinal Doctor’s office to try to “get to the bottom” of things to see what—if anything—in my gut was still keeping me from putting on some weight that I wanted, and the conventional medicine “rabbit hole” began.”

The Plot Thickens: The Triggering Event (My Colonoscopy) (March 2018)

To start, the doctor ordered a CT scan of my intestines to start, finding a presentation of a “Megacolon” and “Autoimmune bowel,” and advising we do a colonoscopy to do some deeper digging to see what, if any, autoimmune diseases were present as well as any blockage or structural issues preventing me from absorbing nutrients and restoring bowel function.

In addition, I had a full blood panel done and hormone panel, and the results revealed:

Iron Overload

Low Thyroid Function

Low Vitamin D

SUPER High Cortisol

Low Sex Hormones (practically NO testosterone, estrogen, progesterone)

By the end of March, “C-Day” (“colonoscopy day”) arrived (and so did countless health side effects from this invasive procedure).

Colonscopies: More Harm Than Good

Colonoscopies have become one of the most prescribed outpatient procedures in America with more than 15-million performed each year (1) (CDC, 2016), and are only growing in prevalence.

While only about 50% of adults, ages 50-75, who “should have” colonoscopies comply with recommended guidelines, in 2018, the National Colorectal Cancer Roundtable (a group of public and private organizations) aims to raise the percentage of people screened for colorectal cancer to 80%.

And although colonoscopies are thought to be “necessary” for detecting “gut issues”—particularly colon cancer—they actually may be more detrimental than good.

In fact, according to Dr. Mercola and Dr. Michael Greger, about 1 in every 350 colonoscopies end up doing serious harm. 

I am a case study example.

Colonoscopy: Little Known Side Effects

Common (little known) side effects from this invasive bacteria with a scope include:

Perforation (puncturing) of the intestines (Gatto et al, 2003) (2)

Dysbiosis (imbalanced gut bacteria) (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Infection with another person’s gut bacteria

Eradication of healthy gut bacteria from prep (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Electrolyte, bacteria and blood sugar imbalances (from the “prep diet” and extreme cleansing that is mandated) (Shobar et al, 2016) (4) (Mai et al, 2006) (5)

The result?

A gut microbiome that is “worse” off then prior to the colonoscopy.

Given that our gut bacteria and our gut itself is the “gateway” to health, if our gut bacteria gets off (or even MORE off), then you can bet your bottom dollar, other body systems get “off” by “imbalanced.”

Healthy gut bacteria or unhealthy gut bacteria determine whether the following body mechanisms are healthy or unhealthy, including:

Gut Bacteria Govern Our Health

Immune function (disease, skin) (Oregon State University, 2013) (6) (Nanjundappa et al, 2017) (7)

Digestion (Lawrence, 2017) (8) (Kim et al, 2012) (9)

Heart/cardiac function (Tang et al, 2017) (10)

Weight and metabolism (Filip et al, 2018) (11)

Blood sugar regulation (Kumamoto University, 2018) (12)

Brain health (anxiety (Hoban et al, 2017) (13), depression (Clapp, 2017) (14) and memory (Lund University, 2017) (15)

Adrenal health (i.e. “HPA-Axis” affecting hormones, cortisol and thyroid) (Konturek et al, 2011) (16) (Cryan et al, 2011) (17)

Exercise progress (or plateaus) (Clarke et al, 2014) (18)

Headaches (Gonzalez et al, 2016) (19)

Attention/ADHD/ADD (Carmen et al, 2017) (20)

Cancer (Fellows et al, 2018) (21)

A better option than colonoscopies?

Stool testing—Addressing gut bacteria and gut health itself—prior to looking for structural issues with a scope. (Bullman et al, 2017) (21)

Since gut bacteria, gut infections, parasites and bacterial imbalances determine whether you get cancer, IBS or autoimmune disease in the first place, comprehensive stool analysis, like this one by Doctors Data or this one by GI Map, can be tremendously helpful in assessing “underlying issues.” Additionally, organic acids testing, SIBO breath testing and even a new blood test (Tsai et al, 2018) can give you more information as well.

(This is something a GI doc won’t typically tell you).

Me: Post Colonoscopy (April-May 2018)

My colonoscopy was the “straw” that broke the camel’s back —accumulating the past 3 years of stress in one fatal swoop on “C-Day” (colonoscopy day).

The “prep diet” was too much for my already-weakened body to handle (i.e. clear liquid fasting). Couple NOT eating all day with a full bottle of Miralax laxative powder, laxative tablets and all afternoon on the toilet, and by midnight that night, I was “far gone.”

Walking up the stairs to go to bed, I blacked out—passing out on the floor, and eliminating more bowels.

It took me about a minute to come to, as I don’t remember what happened, and strewn on the floor, my body started convulsing and trembling, my teeth chattering, and all I remember is asking my mom for a banana—some potassium.

Ten minutes later, the ambulance was there, and I was hooked up to IV fluids, EKG monitor and  a blood pressure cuff on my way to Dell Seton Medical.

“Electrolyte imbalance,” the ER doc diagnosed, and by 4 a.m., my mom and I were back out the door to prepare for my 5 a.m. colonoscopy arrival time.

I went through with the procedure, but little did I realize the “health issues” were not over, as my body spent the next 5-6 weeks trying to recover from the stressful event, inclusive to:

2 more ER visits (for “electrolyte imbalances” and hypoglycemia)

3 urgent care visits for more fluids and blood work

A GI Doctor office that would not return my phone calls post-procedure

A severe acute allergic reaction to a cat that moved in with a new roommate

Blood sugar highs and crashes

And more than a handful of diagnoses, speculations and prescriptions from docs trying to figure out what was going on, including: Asthma, Type I Diabetes, obstructed respiratory system, low sodium, iron overload, and…adrenal insufficiency (aka: “adrenal fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”). 

Adrenal Insufficiency (aka: HPA Axis Dysfunction)

Adrenal insufficiency (aka adrenal fatigue—or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”)  IS real, and although our bodies are resilient to handle stress, if TOO MUCH stress happens at once, or a SUPER STRESSFUL event sets you over the edge, then HPA Axis Dysfunction is a byproduct.

The result?

Complete body imbalance. 

The news was really no new news to me. It was more like an “A ha!” moment.

A ha! This is EXACTLY what I had been experiencing all along, I thought.

I could talk about adrenal insufficiency or HPA Axis Dysfunction ALL DAY LONG. I could write about it and educate others about it.

However, when it came to looking at myself in the mirror and facing the facts that I had NOT been taking myself…easier said than done. (It is like the nail salon technician that paints everyone else’s nails—but their own).

Flat on my back, in a hospital bed in the ER after an emergency trip due to a 3 a.m. hypoglycemic blood crash after a friend’s wedding in Dallas was the wakeup call I needed.

For the past two years, (ever since my symptoms of SIBO, gut dysfunction and other health maladies had begun), my prayers had been:

“Lord, be Lord over my body,” 

“Lord, bring the manna and balance to my life,” and,

“God, help restore my body to health and help me put on healthy weight.”

Be careful what you pray for.

Never in a million years did I think that my “answer” to my prayer would be in the form of a blood sugar crash, but it was the wake up call I needed.

It was as if God was saying: “Lauryn, you DON’T have to save the world…I have already done enough.” And, “Instead of trying to bring glory to yourself, bring glory to me. Live out the gifts I’ve created and let me provide the rest.”

Mic drop.

I spent the rest of the weekend, praying, thinking and broken. I didn’t want to go back to my hamster wheel ways.

And you know what…I didn’t have to. I don’t have to. And whatever plates you are spinning or race you are running too…You don’t have to either.

How HPA Axis Dysfunction Happens

So…how did my body get SO out of whack in the first place?! How does HPA Axis Dysfunction REALLY happen?

In functional medicine, there is typically a “triggering event” that sets the body “over the edge” for HPA Axis Dysfunction and distress.

In my case: the colonoscopy (on top of the past 3 years of stress) resulted in disrupted gut bacteria, along with my side effects:

My Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

“Diabetes,” hypothyroidism

Unwanted weight loss and inability to gain weight

Suppressed immune function

Autoimmune disease

Feeling “wired and tired”

Shortness of breath

Hormone imbalances

Apathy about my work

IBS

Poor workout performance

Electrolyte imbalances

Melancholy mood

 …And, to say the least, an entrepreneur who was anything BUT her healthiest, most vibrant, kick-ass self.   

Other Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

For others, “adrenal fatigue” or HPA-Axis Dysfunction may present as one or several of the following:

Inability to lose weight

Mood swings

Fatigue

Anxiety or Depression

Autoimmune conditions

Food intolerances

Insomnia

Needing coffee or sugar to function

Headaches

High blood pressure

Low or high heart rate

Feeling dizzy when standing up

Inability to concentrate/focus or memory loss

Lyme disease

Catching colds, flus or illnesses easily

Not “feeling like yourself”

Skin breakouts or acne

Feeling burned out or unable to do your usual basic “to dos”

Inability to tolerate exercise like you once did

Random allergies you’ve never had before

 How does adrenal fatigue happen to one person but not another? What separates “adrenal fatigue,” or HPA Axis Dysfunction from regular stress?

Check out this blog to find out ALL about adrenal fatigue and HPA Axis Dysfunction, how to find out if you have it and how you (and I) can heal.

Resources

1. CDC. 2016. Colorectal Cancer Screening Capacity in the United States

2. Nicolle M. Gatto, Harold Frucht, Vijaya Sundararajan, Judith S. Jacobson, Victor R. Grann, Alfred I. Neugut; Risk of Perforation After Colonoscopy and Sigmoidoscopy: A Population-Based Study, JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute, Volume 95, Issue 3, 5 February 2003, Pages 230–236,

3. Lorenzo et al. 2016. Persisting changes of intestinal microbiota after bowel lavage and colonoscopy

4. Shobar et al. 2016. The Effects of Bowel Preparation on Microbiota-Related Metrics Differ in Health and in Inflammatory Bowel Disease and for the Mucosal and Luminal Microbiota Compartments.

5. Mai, V., Greenwald, B., Glenn Morris, J., Raufman, J., & Stine, O. C. (2006). Effect of bowel preparation and colonoscopy on post‐procedure intestinal microbiota composition. Gut, 55(12), 1822–1823.

6. Immune: Oregon State University. (2013, September 16). Gut microbes closely linked to proper immune function, other health issues. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018

7. Immune: Nanjundappa et al, 2017. A Gut Microbial Mimic that Hijacks Diabetogenic Autoreactivity to Suppress Colitis.

8. Digestion: Lawrence, K., & Hyde, J. (2017). Microbiome restoration diet improves digestion, cognition and physical and emotional wellbeing. PLoS ONE, 12(6), e0179017.

9. Digestion: Gene Kim, Fnu Deepinder, Walter Morales, Laura Hwang, Stacy Weitsman, Christopher Chang, Robert Gunsalus, Mark Pimentel. Methanobrevibacter smithii Is the Predominant Methanogen in Patients with Constipation-Predominant IBS and Methane on Breath. Digestive Diseases and Sciences, 2012; DOI: 10.1007/s10620-012-2197-1

10. Heart: Tang et al, 2017. Gut Microbiota in Cardiovascular Health and Disease

11. Weight: Filip Ottosson, Louise Brunkwall, Ulrika Ericson, Peter M Nilsson, Peter Almgren, Céline Fernandez, Olle Melander, Marju Orho-Melander. Connection between BMI related plasma metabolite profile and gut microbiota. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 01 February 2018 DOI: 10.1210/jc.2017-02114/4834036

12. Blood Sugar: Kumamoto University. (2018, April 10). How intestinal bacteria can affect your blood sugar and lipid levels. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180410100937.htm

13. Anxiety: Alan E. Hoban, Roman M. Stilling, Gerard M. Moloney, Rachel D. Moloney, Fergus Shanahan, Timothy G. Dinan, John F. Cryan, Gerard Clarke. Microbial regulation of microRNA expression in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Microbiome, 2017; 5 (1) DOI: 10.1186/s40168-017-0321-3

14. Depression: Clapp, M., Aurora, N., Herrera, L., Bhatia, M., Wilen, E., & Wakefield, S. (2017). Gut microbiota’s effect on mental health: The gut-brain axis. Clinics and Practice, 7(4), 987.

15. Memory: Lund University. (2017, February 10). Gut bacteria may play a role in Alzheimer’s disease. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from

16. Adrenal Health: Konturek, P. C., Brzozowski, T., & Konturek, S. J. (2011). Stress and the gut: pathophysiology, clinical consequences, diagnostic approach and treatment options. Journal of physiology and pharmacology : an official journal of the Polish Physiological Society, 6, 591–599

17. Adrenal Health: Cryan, J. F., & O’Mahony, S. M. (2011). The microbiome-gut-brain axis: From bowel to behavior. Neurogastroenterology & Motility, 23(3), 187–192. doi:10.1111/j.1365–2982.2010.01664.x

18. Exercise: Clarke, S. F., Murphy, E. F., O’sullivan, O., Lucey, A. J., Humphreys, M., Hogan, A., . . . Cotter, P. D. (2014). Exercise and associated dietary extremes impact on gut microbial diversity. Gut, 63(12), 1913–1920.

19, Headaches: Antonio Gonzalez, Embriette Hyde, Naseer Sangwan, Jack A. Gilbert, Erik Viirre, Rob Knight. Migraines Are Correlated with Higher Levels of Nitrate-, Nitrite-, and Nitric Oxide-Reducing Oral Microbes in the American Gut Project Cohort. mSystems Oct 2016, 1 (5) e00105-16; DOI: 10.1128/mSystems.00105-16

20, Attention: Carmen Cenit, María & Campillo Nuevo, Isabel & codoñer-franch, Pilar & G. Dinan, Timothy & Sanz, Yolanda. (2017). Gut microbiota and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: new perspectives for a challenging condition. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 26. 10.1007/s00787-017-0969-z.

21. Cancer: Fellows et al. 2018. Microbiota derived short chain fatty acids promote histone crotonylation in the colon through histone deacetylases. Nature.  9(105). doi:10.1038/s41467-017-02651-5.

Tsai et al. 2018. Prospective clinical study of circulating tumor cells for colorectal cancer screening. Journal of Clinical Oncology. 36, no. 4_suppl. 556-556… DOI: 10.1200/JCO.2018.36.4_suppl.556.

22. 6. Bullman et al. 2017. Analysis of Fusobacterium persistence and antibiotic response in colorectal cancer. DOI: 10.1126/science.aal5240

The post The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue) appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/hormones-metabolism/the-1-cause-of-hpa-axis-dysfunction-adrenal-fatigue/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/ The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue) via https://drlaurynlax.blogspot.com/

[brian-cdates]

The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue)

The HPA Axis Dysfunction or Adrenal Fatigue

HPA Axis Dysfunction or adrenal fatigue is real…don’t believe me? Read on for yourself to find out how it can happen to anyone, and the #1 cause behind it all. 

I’ve been quiet in social media world the past several months and, to be honest, it’s been a rough stretch to say the least. In short: “Adrenal fatigue” or HPA Axis Dysfunction is real, and if you’ve ever experienced an extreme bout of stress, you’ll know what I mean. Here’s a little personal story, and the science and research to prove it. 

Stress = The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction

In fact, stress alone is the #1 driver of HPA Axis Dysfunction—the primary attributed cause of practically every known ailment plaguing our society today—from diabetes, to cancer, autoimmune disease, anxiety and beyond.

Contrary to popular belief, stress goes far beyond just mental stress alone.

Physical stress is often times even more detrimental, as it more easily goes unseen, including: imbalances in the basic human needs (such as lack of sleep, dehydration, poor nutrient density, sedentary or overtraining lifestyles), to gut dysfunction (SIBO, leaky gut, IBS), circadian rhythm dysfunction, inflammation, and light exposure (blue screens, light at night, etc.).

In fact, you can be sitting on a beach in Tahiti with a margarita in hand, seemingly no care in the world, but your body STILL be under a significant amount of stress, such as: fighting leaky gut and acne, experiencing shortness of breath from overwork in your daily lifestyle and lack of sleep, and hormone imbalances from overtraining in the gym and under-eating fat and protein.

Regardless of what type of stress you face (physical or mental), our bodies can only take so much stress. While stress is inevitable (impossible to avoid in modern day), if you go over your individualized threshold of stress or experience a significant amount of stress in a short amount of time, your body may back fire.

Enter: “Adrenal Fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction.”

My HPA Axis Dysfunction Story

It all began in March of 2018.

Actually, rephrase that: It all began about 3 years ago, in 2015—the beginnings of my business and life as an entrepreneur.

Eager to “save the world” with my business aspirations in the health and wellness field, I went to work on the front lines, doing things like:

My Job (“Saving the World”)

Therapy:

Providing counseling and therapy services to individuals with emotional baggage to get rid of;

Nutrition:

Offering support plans and nutritional guidance for individuals seeking health improvements;

Functional Medicine:

Knocking conventional medicine on its head with functional medicine—providing tools, resources, protocols and procedures for helping people truly heal, not just manage their disease:

—You know, just “saving the world” (or trying to).

Along with these pursuits, a sneak peek into my life as an entrepreneur looked something like this for a couple years:

HPA Axis Dysfunction Begins: (Stressful) Life of an Entrepreneur (Beginning Fall of 2015)

6 a.m. Rise & Shine. Wakeup to my alarm across the room (despite wanting to go back to sleep after 5 hours of sleep)

Brushing my teeth, swigging a protein shake, and rushing to get ready for the day to make it to the gym by 6:30 a.m. or 7

7-8:30 a.m. Workout. Hitting a workout in the gym first thing to get energized for the day

8:30 a.m. Breakfast: Another protein shake, greens, coconut butter and ½ a banana on my way to my office

9 a.m.-2 p.m. Work It Start the work day, seeing new clients and writing or creating my next online project or book.

2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Workout #2. Hit the gym again for a break in the middle of the work day to burn off energy and clear my head.

3:30 p.m. Lunch. Chicken, avocado, greens, beets.

4 pm-7:30 p.m. Work It. Back to the grind.

7:30 or 8 p.m. Group Meeting. Mixing, mingling and talking more about business.

9:30 p.m. Workout. Force myself to hit the gym again after a long afternoon of sitting to work out pent up energy for 40-60 minutes.

10:30 p.m. Dinner. Dinner at home: Turkey burger patty, sweet potato, coconut butter, greens sautéed in ghee.

11 p.m.-1 a.m. Work. Finish my work for the day (e-mails, admin, etc.).

1 or 1:30 a.m. Bed. Hit the sack and sleep like a rock for about 5 hours.

Wakeup and do it all over again! 

But Stress is “Normal” Right?…

Can you relate?

Or do you know anyone who is an entrepreneur, or in school, or loves what they do, or who is super stressed over their work or life—and keeps a similar schedule? (Burning a candle at ALL ends).

Face it: Stress and “running on a hamster wheel” is normal, and if you are NOT doing it, then you better watch out because (gasp) you may fall behind.

Although I thought I was made of “steel”—immune of stress wreaking havoc on my health—my body had other plans in mind.

Before I realized it, various (silent) health issues began to arise including:

Health Issues Arise (2016-2017)

IBS

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Unwanted weight loss (losing about 10 pounds over the course of about 3 years due to malabsorption and gut issues)

Bloating after eating

Chronic constipation

Shortness of breath if I slept less than 5 hours multiple days in a row

Gym performance decline (loss of strength, endurance, gains in the gym)

Hormone imbalances (losing my period)

However, despite all these “new” symptoms, I was completely checked out from my body—laser focused on checking off to-do lists, getting further ahead in business and growing a company.

In addition to not feeling on “top of my A-game,” other things in my life began to shift too, such as:

Lifestyle Imbalance (2016-2017)

Isolation from friendships (in place of work)

Working on weekends and evenings instead of spending time with people or taking breaks

Lack of interests and activities outside of work

Disconnection from my “source”—time spent in Word, prayer

Disconnection from the great outdoors (staying inside most of the days)

Over-screen exposure (upwards of 10-12 hours per day in front of a computer)

Loss of “who I am” or what I like to do (outside work)

Running towards a goal with no end in sight

To say the least, I became more like a robot, and less like “Lauryn”—the well rounded individual I am in my core.

I could talk and write all day about living a health lifestyle, and I knew WHAT to do, but when it came to my own health and life, there wasn’t time to do all the things I preached about!

As a busy entrepreneur, trying to save the world, who had time to do things like sleep 7-8 hours, or mix up my workouts, or eat a variety of nutrient dense foods, or make time for hobbies and passions and relationships?!

This schedule and pace continued for a good 3 years before my body really began to speak—letting me know that something was up.

Getting Out of Balance: SIBO, Leaky Gut, IBS & Beyond (September 2017)

Come September 2017, I was hit with a severe case of SIBO—Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth—in which my body, under high amounts of physical and mental stress, developed a gut condition where unhealthy bacteria overpopulated my small intestine.

The result?

Rapid weight loss and IBS.

Although I have struggled with “gut stuff” (constipation and IBS) most of my life, things really kicked up.

Seemingly overnight, I went from just feeling bloated after most meals to having to run to the bathroom after most meals with loose watery stools, or the opposite, waking up super constipated—unable to go at all.

This conundrum continued for a good 4 months before I decided to dig deeper and consider what else may be going on under the hood.

Thanks to my functional medicine background and training program at the time, we were actually learning about SIBO at the same time, and come to find out, SIBO is exactly what I had—triggering unwanted weight loss, malabsorption, bloating, constipation, tummy cramps, and the inability to tolerate most FODMAP foods.

At the turn of the New Year (January 2018), I was treating SIBO at home with a strict supplement protocol, courtesy of my functional medicine training, and by the end of February, I was feeling much better on the gut front—except about 10 pounds lighter than I’d want to be.

“What’s wrong with Lauryn?” I could sense others saying with their eyes, and it appeared I was “back” into my eating disorder that I had struggled with from ages 10-24.

I could hardly look in the mirror myself, and sitting at barely 100 pounds (on a “good day”), for my 5’4’’ frame, I felt it—felt weaker, and more discouraged, despite being more at peace with eating, feeding my body well and even giving up cardio in place of more muscle building workouts.

However, despite my efforts to gain weight—it wasn’t happening. Eating approximately 2400 calories each day wasn’t doing it. “Carbing up” wasn’t doing it. Working out a little bit less wasn’t doing it.

By March 2018, I found myself in a Gastrointestinal Doctor’s office to try to “get to the bottom” of things to see what—if anything—in my gut was still keeping me from putting on some weight that I wanted, and the conventional medicine “rabbit hole” began.”

The Plot Thickens: The Triggering Event (My Colonoscopy) (March 2018)

To start, the doctor ordered a CT scan of my intestines to start, finding a presentation of a “Megacolon” and “Autoimmune bowel,” and advising we do a colonoscopy to do some deeper digging to see what, if any, autoimmune diseases were present as well as any blockage or structural issues preventing me from absorbing nutrients and restoring bowel function.

In addition, I had a full blood panel done and hormone panel, and the results revealed:

Iron Overload

Low Thyroid Function

Low Vitamin D

SUPER High Cortisol

Low Sex Hormones (practically NO testosterone, estrogen, progesterone)

By the end of March, “C-Day” (“colonoscopy day”) arrived (and so did countless health side effects from this invasive procedure).

Colonscopies: More Harm Than Good

Colonoscopies have become one of the most prescribed outpatient procedures in America with more than 15-million performed each year (1) (CDC, 2016), and are only growing in prevalence.

While only about 50% of adults, ages 50-75, who “should have” colonoscopies comply with recommended guidelines, in 2018, the National Colorectal Cancer Roundtable (a group of public and private organizations) aims to raise the percentage of people screened for colorectal cancer to 80%.

And although colonoscopies are thought to be “necessary” for detecting “gut issues”—particularly colon cancer—they actually may be more detrimental than good.

In fact, according to Dr. Mercola and Dr. Michael Greger, about 1 in every 350 colonoscopies end up doing serious harm. 

I am a case study example.

Colonoscopy: Little Known Side Effects

Common (little known) side effects from this invasive bacteria with a scope include:

Perforation (puncturing) of the intestines (Gatto et al, 2003) (2)

Dysbiosis (imbalanced gut bacteria) (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Infection with another person’s gut bacteria

Eradication of healthy gut bacteria from prep (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)

Electrolyte, bacteria and blood sugar imbalances (from the “prep diet” and extreme cleansing that is mandated) (Shobar et al, 2016) (4) (Mai et al, 2006) (5)

The result?

A gut microbiome that is “worse” off then prior to the colonoscopy.

Given that our gut bacteria and our gut itself is the “gateway” to health, if our gut bacteria gets off (or even MORE off), then you can bet your bottom dollar, other body systems get “off” by “imbalanced.”

Healthy gut bacteria or unhealthy gut bacteria determine whether the following body mechanisms are healthy or unhealthy, including:

Gut Bacteria Govern Our Health

Immune function (disease, skin) (Oregon State University, 2013) (6) (Nanjundappa et al, 2017) (7)

Digestion (Lawrence, 2017) (8) (Kim et al, 2012) (9)

Heart/cardiac function (Tang et al, 2017) (10)

Weight and metabolism (Filip et al, 2018) (11)

Blood sugar regulation (Kumamoto University, 2018) (12)

Brain health (anxiety (Hoban et al, 2017) (13), depression (Clapp, 2017) (14) and memory (Lund University, 2017) (15)

Adrenal health (i.e. “HPA-Axis” affecting hormones, cortisol and thyroid) (Konturek et al, 2011) (16) (Cryan et al, 2011) (17)

Exercise progress (or plateaus) (Clarke et al, 2014) (18)

Headaches (Gonzalez et al, 2016) (19)

Attention/ADHD/ADD (Carmen et al, 2017) (20)

Cancer (Fellows et al, 2018) (21)

A better option than colonoscopies?

Stool testing—Addressing gut bacteria and gut health itself—prior to looking for structural issues with a scope. (Bullman et al, 2017) (21)

Since gut bacteria, gut infections, parasites and bacterial imbalances determine whether you get cancer, IBS or autoimmune disease in the first place, comprehensive stool analysis, like this one by Doctors Data or this one by GI Map, can be tremendously helpful in assessing “underlying issues.” Additionally, organic acids testing, SIBO breath testing and even a new blood test (Tsai et al, 2018) can give you more information as well.

(This is something a GI doc won’t typically tell you).

Me: Post Colonoscopy (April-May 2018)

My colonoscopy was the “straw” that broke the camel’s back —accumulating the past 3 years of stress in one fatal swoop on “C-Day” (colonoscopy day).

The “prep diet” was too much for my already-weakened body to handle (i.e. clear liquid fasting). Couple NOT eating all day with a full bottle of Miralax laxative powder, laxative tablets and all afternoon on the toilet, and by midnight that night, I was “far gone.”

Walking up the stairs to go to bed, I blacked out—passing out on the floor, and eliminating more bowels.

It took me about a minute to come to, as I don’t remember what happened, and strewn on the floor, my body started convulsing and trembling, my teeth chattering, and all I remember is asking my mom for a banana—some potassium.

Ten minutes later, the ambulance was there, and I was hooked up to IV fluids, EKG monitor and  a blood pressure cuff on my way to Dell Seton Medical.

“Electrolyte imbalance,” the ER doc diagnosed, and by 4 a.m., my mom and I were back out the door to prepare for my 5 a.m. colonoscopy arrival time.

I went through with the procedure, but little did I realize the “health issues” were not over, as my body spent the next 5-6 weeks trying to recover from the stressful event, inclusive to:

2 more ER visits (for “electrolyte imbalances” and hypoglycemia)

3 urgent care visits for more fluids and blood work

A GI Doctor office that would not return my phone calls post-procedure

A severe acute allergic reaction to a cat that moved in with a new roommate

Blood sugar highs and crashes

And more than a handful of diagnoses, speculations and prescriptions from docs trying to figure out what was going on, including: Asthma, Type I Diabetes, obstructed respiratory system, low sodium, iron overload, and…adrenal insufficiency (aka: “adrenal fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”). 

Adrenal Insufficiency (aka: HPA Axis Dysfunction)

Adrenal insufficiency (aka adrenal fatigue—or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”)  IS real, and although our bodies are resilient to handle stress, if TOO MUCH stress happens at once, or a SUPER STRESSFUL event sets you over the edge, then HPA Axis Dysfunction is a byproduct.

The result?

Complete body imbalance. 

The news was really no new news to me. It was more like an “A ha!” moment.

A ha! This is EXACTLY what I had been experiencing all along, I thought.

I could talk about adrenal insufficiency or HPA Axis Dysfunction ALL DAY LONG. I could write about it and educate others about it.

However, when it came to looking at myself in the mirror and facing the facts that I had NOT been taking myself…easier said than done. (It is like the nail salon technician that paints everyone else’s nails—but their own).

Flat on my back, in a hospital bed in the ER after an emergency trip due to a 3 a.m. hypoglycemic blood crash after a friend’s wedding in Dallas was the wakeup call I needed.

For the past two years, (ever since my symptoms of SIBO, gut dysfunction and other health maladies had begun), my prayers had been:

“Lord, be Lord over my body,” 

“Lord, bring the manna and balance to my life,” and,

“God, help restore my body to health and help me put on healthy weight.”

Be careful what you pray for.

Never in a million years did I think that my “answer” to my prayer would be in the form of a blood sugar crash, but it was the wake up call I needed.

It was as if God was saying: “Lauryn, you DON’T have to save the world…I have already done enough.” And, “Instead of trying to bring glory to yourself, bring glory to me. Live out the gifts I’ve created and let me provide the rest.”

Mic drop.

I spent the rest of the weekend, praying, thinking and broken. I didn’t want to go back to my hamster wheel ways.

And you know what…I didn’t have to. I don’t have to. And whatever plates you are spinning or race you are running too…You don’t have to either.

How HPA Axis Dysfunction Happens

So…how did my body get SO out of whack in the first place?! How does HPA Axis Dysfunction REALLY happen?

In functional medicine, there is typically a “triggering event” that sets the body “over the edge” for HPA Axis Dysfunction and distress.

In my case: the colonoscopy (on top of the past 3 years of stress) resulted in disrupted gut bacteria, along with my side effects:

My Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

“Diabetes,” hypothyroidism

Unwanted weight loss and inability to gain weight

Suppressed immune function

Autoimmune disease

Feeling “wired and tired”

Shortness of breath

Hormone imbalances

Apathy about my work

IBS

Poor workout performance

Electrolyte imbalances

Melancholy mood

  …And, to say the least, an entrepreneur who was anything BUT her healthiest, most vibrant, kick-ass self.   

Other Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction

For others, “adrenal fatigue” or HPA-Axis Dysfunction may present as one or several of the following:

Inability to lose weight

Mood swings

Fatigue

Anxiety or Depression

Autoimmune conditions

Food intolerances

Insomnia

Needing coffee or sugar to function

Headaches

High blood pressure

Low or high heart rate

Feeling dizzy when standing up

Inability to concentrate/focus or memory loss

Lyme disease

Catching colds, flus or illnesses easily

Not “feeling like yourself”

Skin breakouts or acne

Feeling burned out or unable to do your usual basic “to dos”

Inability to tolerate exercise like you once did

Random allergies you’ve never had before

  How does adrenal fatigue happen to one person but not another? What separates “adrenal fatigue,” or HPA Axis Dysfunction from regular stress?

Check out this blog to find out ALL about adrenal fatigue and HPA Axis Dysfunction, how to find out if you have it and how you (and I) can heal.

Resources

1. CDC. 2016. Colorectal Cancer Screening Capacity in the United States

2. Nicolle M. Gatto, Harold Frucht, Vijaya Sundararajan, Judith S. Jacobson, Victor R. Grann, Alfred I. Neugut; Risk of Perforation After Colonoscopy and Sigmoidoscopy: A Population-Based Study, JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute, Volume 95, Issue 3, 5 February 2003, Pages 230–236,

3. Lorenzo et al. 2016. Persisting changes of intestinal microbiota after bowel lavage and colonoscopy

4. Shobar et al. 2016. The Effects of Bowel Preparation on Microbiota-Related Metrics Differ in Health and in Inflammatory Bowel Disease and for the Mucosal and Luminal Microbiota Compartments.

5. Mai, V., Greenwald, B., Glenn Morris, J., Raufman, J., & Stine, O. C. (2006). Effect of bowel preparation and colonoscopy on post‐procedure intestinal microbiota composition. Gut, 55(12), 1822–1823.

6. Immune: Oregon State University. (2013, September 16). Gut microbes closely linked to proper immune function, other health issues. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018

7. Immune: Nanjundappa et al, 2017. A Gut Microbial Mimic that Hijacks Diabetogenic Autoreactivity to Suppress Colitis.

8. Digestion: Lawrence, K., & Hyde, J. (2017). Microbiome restoration diet improves digestion, cognition and physical and emotional wellbeing. PLoS ONE, 12(6), e0179017.

9. Digestion: Gene Kim, Fnu Deepinder, Walter Morales, Laura Hwang, Stacy Weitsman, Christopher Chang, Robert Gunsalus, Mark Pimentel. Methanobrevibacter smithii Is the Predominant Methanogen in Patients with Constipation-Predominant IBS and Methane on Breath. Digestive Diseases and Sciences, 2012; DOI: 10.1007/s10620-012-2197-1

10. Heart: Tang et al, 2017. Gut Microbiota in Cardiovascular Health and Disease

11. Weight: Filip Ottosson, Louise Brunkwall, Ulrika Ericson, Peter M Nilsson, Peter Almgren, Céline Fernandez, Olle Melander, Marju Orho-Melander. Connection between BMI related plasma metabolite profile and gut microbiota. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 01 February 2018 DOI: 10.1210/jc.2017-02114/4834036

12. Blood Sugar: Kumamoto University. (2018, April 10). How intestinal bacteria can affect your blood sugar and lipid levels. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180410100937.htm

13. Anxiety: Alan E. Hoban, Roman M. Stilling, Gerard M. Moloney, Rachel D. Moloney, Fergus Shanahan, Timothy G. Dinan, John F. Cryan, Gerard Clarke. Microbial regulation of microRNA expression in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Microbiome, 2017; 5 (1) DOI: 10.1186/s40168-017-0321-3

14. Depression: Clapp, M., Aurora, N., Herrera, L., Bhatia, M., Wilen, E., & Wakefield, S. (2017). Gut microbiota’s effect on mental health: The gut-brain axis. Clinics and Practice, 7(4), 987.

15. Memory: Lund University. (2017, February 10). Gut bacteria may play a role in Alzheimer’s disease. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from

16. Adrenal Health: Konturek, P. C., Brzozowski, T., & Konturek, S. J. (2011). Stress and the gut: pathophysiology, clinical consequences, diagnostic approach and treatment options. Journal of physiology and pharmacology : an official journal of the Polish Physiological Society, 6, 591–599

17. Adrenal Health: Cryan, J. F., & O’Mahony, S. M. (2011). The microbiome-gut-brain axis: From bowel to behavior. Neurogastroenterology & Motility, 23(3), 187–192. doi:10.1111/j.1365–2982.2010.01664.x

18. Exercise: Clarke, S. F., Murphy, E. F., O’sullivan, O., Lucey, A. J., Humphreys, M., Hogan, A., . . . Cotter, P. D. (2014). Exercise and associated dietary extremes impact on gut microbial diversity. Gut, 63(12), 1913–1920.

19, Headaches: Antonio Gonzalez, Embriette Hyde, Naseer Sangwan, Jack A. Gilbert, Erik Viirre, Rob Knight. Migraines Are Correlated with Higher Levels of Nitrate-, Nitrite-, and Nitric Oxide-Reducing Oral Microbes in the American Gut Project Cohort. mSystems Oct 2016, 1 (5) e00105-16; DOI: 10.1128/mSystems.00105-16

20, Attention: Carmen Cenit, María & Campillo Nuevo, Isabel & codoñer-franch, Pilar & G. Dinan, Timothy & Sanz, Yolanda. (2017). Gut microbiota and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: new perspectives for a challenging condition. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 26. 10.1007/s00787-017-0969-z.

21. Cancer: Fellows et al. 2018. Microbiota derived short chain fatty acids promote histone crotonylation in the colon through histone deacetylases. Nature.  9(105). doi:10.1038/s41467-017-02651-5.

Tsai et al. 2018. Prospective clinical study of circulating tumor cells for colorectal cancer screening. Journal of Clinical Oncology. 36, no. 4_suppl. 556-556… DOI: 10.1200/JCO.2018.36.4_suppl.556.

22. 6. Bullman et al. 2017. Analysis of Fusobacterium persistence and antibiotic response in colorectal cancer. DOI: 10.1126/science.aal5240

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