#i did NOTHING FUCKIGN WRONG

[aph-estonia]

every time i think about being near other people i actually do throw up in my mouth a lil. many such cases! very sad to see...

[oneslimybastard]

mouthwashing spoilers ig bewaaare it's so fascinating just How Much people hate Jimmy Mouthwashing, despite that when it comes to Evil Deeds he actually lags behind a lot of other horror characters.

He's not a serial killer. He's not even really a killer (the only person he hands-on murders is Swansea in implied self defense). He's bitter, entitled, emotionally immature, impulsive, misogynistic, a rapist and enabled by Terminal Nice Guy Curly. Aka, a guy you've worked with, or a pissy uncle that keeps getting invited to christmas out of enforced politeness, your boyfriend's friend who keeps making you uncomfortable and you keep being told that he's a "good guy" deep down. A scumbag of which there are a dime a dozen of.

Any readings that he was a machivallian evil mastermind to me feels like huffing cope. Because the entire game is just Jimmy fuckign, floudering, as his actions suddenly have a lot of consequences that he wasn't emotionally equipped for. He thinks he can fix things, and that it's not really his fault, sure he assaulted Anya but she wasn't supposed to get pregnant from it, sure he crashed the ship in a temper tantrum but he didn't think Curly would get meatified from it. He sends Daisuke into the hutch because he's too much of a coward to do it himself, but he wasn't supposed to get injured from it. Yeah he's treated Anya like shit but she wasn't supposed to kill herself. Swansea comes after him with an axe — that wasn't supposed to happen either. And at the very end, Jimmy martyrs himself to "save" Curly (how saved he gets from being turned into a cryofrozen treat is debatable but I like to think it does ensure his survival, for the themes), so he can have some fucking solace that he managed to set things right before he kills himself — when in actuality all he did was ensure that he will run from taking responsibility for the rest of time.

After all, no one can hold you accountable if you're dead.

Jimmy isn't evil, you the player would be much more comfortable with his character if he WAS evil. He's just pathetic, making excuses, and emotionally lashing out, lashing out over the trauma he inflicted on someone else having consequences for him he sees no obvious escape from for once. Curly can't nepo him outa this one, lads. And all it takes is a few button presses to doom the entire ship.

Then he doesn't even have the guts to own it. He doesn't have the guts to own what a shitty person he is, called out directly in-text by Swansea who like we stan Swansea but I would not be surprised if his list of crimes (minus ship-crashing) looked exactly like Jimmy's, sexual assault included.

And that's the whole point of Mouthwashing innit. The worst guys you know will be some dick who refuses to own up to his own scumbaggery because he can't stand to look himself in the mirror if he does, and the people who cover for him. Evil doesn't exist (the contexts for where I think it does is a different and politically loaded conversation), usually it's just Some Fucking Guy who thought he was too good for therapy and magikarp splashed his path of carnage through other people's lives because of it.

Jimmy could have set things right, but that meant grappling with what a shitbag he is and the damage he caused Anya, and for certain people embittered by their own mediocrity, Armageddon is just the much more glamorous option.

And when he's forced to pick up the pieces and take responsibility, he breaks. Despite how much we hate it, it's very easy in this world to become a Jimmy, to fuck up and hurt people and then just go nuh-uh-nuh-uh until we've convinced ourselves we really did nothing wrong; to brainwash ourselves into thinking running away from accountability is the noble action. Even easier to become a Curly, with a pet Jimmy scrambling around that you can't be fucked to hold accountable because that's like, so messy, and a bother, it's fine, he's just a little grouchy you guys. Yes yes Anya I hear your concerns but like... I dunno, this puts me in a really complicated situation, you understand?

People know this instinctively, and that's why they feel like they have to parade Jimmy around like the Worst Guy Ever, to wash their hands of him, since that's more soothing than thinking about how much of a Boring Regular Guy he actually is. A Boring Regular Guy you've got in your life right now who kind of puts you off but nobody is actively dealing with. You included.

That's probably a large part of why this game haunts people, and why Jimmy just gets under their skin so bad to call him like the most irredeemable guy ever. In a genre he shares with like the Mad Father himself and Sachiko the torture ghost from Corpse Party, or the lady from the Amnesia DLC, etc. etc. (Astarion BG3 is also Objectively a shittier guy than Jimmy Mouthwashing, which isn't a fair comparison because different genres with different stakes, but it is a funny one.)

also he's in yaoi with curly soooooorry it's in the text as he cradles that meated up bod and stares straight into curly's bulging eyeball and forcefeeds him pills. and then his own leg. his love language is just complicated ok dont judge.

[anxi-aashi]

ok i dont have the energy to put this into a fic rn but i CANT stop thinking about college au! childe almost walking in on you while you're getting yourself off.

like he'd still knock of course, but it would scare the absolute shit out of you. instead of hanging out with your roommates that he's friends with (who are most certainly NOT gathered in your room) he'd be all "hey pookie can i come bother you I'm bored," while you're fully sat on a dildo.

and bc you wouldnt want to seem suspicious, you'd say sure, just a sec! and immediately run to throw the sopping wet toy into your bathroom sink before letting him in.

and he's just too observant for his own good. "hey you ok? you seem out of breath" yeah because you were.... working out! "really? you're not sweating though?" CHILDE DROP IT OMFG but he wouldn't. he just asks so many goddamn questions and you honestly can't tell if he's just fuckign with you or if he's just genuinely concerned for you. what were you doing? pilates? so thats why you're walking a bit weird? how tf were you not sweating after pilates? oh you just started? well sorry to interrupt!

yeah.... you're sorry too -_-

but hes here now so you offer to watch a movie and hang out, nevermind the cum threatening to run down your leg. "sure! you pick smth out and ill go to the bathroom real quick!" he says and curse your post-orgasm clouded mind for not being quick enough to warn him bc now he's standing in front of you, dildo in his hand, looking at you knowingly.

youre mortified obviously. the two of you are cordial but not THAT close and god you can almost picture the slick and cum that's smearing all over his hand now. why is he holding it for fucks sake???

childe wouldnt be merciful either -- this is a fucking gold mine for him. "well, i guess this is a workout" and you would like the earth to swallow you up so that you don't have to look at him with that shit-eating grin that's creeping up his face.

hed switch the dildo to his other hand and start opening and closing his fingers together, making webs of cum string in between. "you said you just started?" no, you'd have to refute, that part was a lie.

"and you were getting off with this?" and now WHAT was that supposed to mean bc there was truly nothing wrong with the dildo size!!! it was perfectly fine, it did its job. sure it could be a tad bit longer, but you had bills to pay. he lets it go (with a judgemental eyebrow raise), but when he opens his mouth again to ask "what were you doing?" you almost wish he had kept making fun of your tiny ass toy. "were you using your hands or the suction cup?"

god he'd have a dangerous look on his face by now, lidded eyes looking at you like you were gonna be his next meal; pitching his voice just a tad bit lower just to see you squirm.

"you don't have to answer, but i would really, really like to know." aaaaaand there it goes. there's goes the last bit of your sanity bc huhh?? huuuuhh??? dear lord i would fully melt into a puddle we love a man that can make consent sexy.

fuck it, right? yeah, you were using the suction cup. "yeah? you like riding dick?" SHFBAN;DNSJF;F GODDDD

"you got any other toys?" yes sirrr yes I do, got a vibrator right over there in the nightstand. and duh now he's gotta follow up with "ever use both?"

which you have. who hasn't? but you usually only use it for quickies, you say. don't want it to be over too fast, ya know?

but then. thennnnnn he'd hit you with this: "you still horny?"

lorddddd you have NO idea, but you don't say that lest it get to his head (but lets be honest, he knows what he's doing; he knows how desperate he's making you). so he walks up to you, finally, and hands you your dildo, all sticky and starting to dry by now.

"well don't stop on my account."

and he plops down on your bed, manspreading just the tiiiiiniest bit to where you can see the tent in his pants.

which is how you find yourself back in your desk chair, thighs burning from fucking yourself on a dildo you now know is much smaller than whatever childe is packing while he just watches, palming his cock over his pants.

anyways gonna go work on my wips now lolololololololoolo

[puzzledcretin]

Sunflower

(written for @tmnt-write-fight for @tigerthespahget )

Fandom: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Prompt: Sunflower duo (ROTTMNT Mikey & Miles Morales’ SpiderMan) Word Count: 3,360

Read On AO3

“Needless to say, I’m keeping her in check. She was a bad-bad, nevertheless. Callin’ it quits now, baby. I’m a wreck. Crash at my place, baby, you’re a wreck.”

Mikey sprinted across the rooftops of New York City. Keeping to the shadows, much like he had been taught as a child. His feet stayed light on the half walls, avoiding the patches of gravel. Originally, he had come up to the city to tag some walls downtown. Slowly, Mikey was trying to make a name for himself above ground.

Sure, his art was well known underground. However, he was starting to lose faith in his brother’s opinions. Could you blame him? He loved his brothers, more than anything in the world, but they were his brothers! They did not have to love all of his work, and he was sure there were certain pieces that they didn’t care for, but they were obligated to at least pretend. 

But on the surface? On the surface, there was opportunity! People from all walks of life and not the narrow, suffocating view of the sewers. People could see his work and he could get new, fresher opinions. 

At first, he wasn’t sure how he was going to do it. Despite everything that happened, being friendly with humans was still somewhat frowned upon by his brothers. It was.. Weird. They had plenty of human or human adjacent friends, but there was something about remaining hidden that seemed so important for their survival. He understood why, but it made making friends one of the most difficult tasks in the entire world. 

That is why Mikey got himself a fancy new phone (needed it after dropping it off the empire state building, don’t ask) and signed up for social media! Because that couldn’t go wrong, could it?

AngelofNewYork Lvl 16, Sagittarius I put the razz in razzamatazz! Posts: 140 Followers: 11 Following: 248

Okay, so it wasn’t exactly popping off the way he was hoping it would. But! That was fine! Because on occasion, he will see his graffiti popping off on other accounts. The tag #graffitiofnewyork, #graffitiphotography, and #artistsinnewyork were all some of his favorites to patrol. People didn’t know they were his but he loved seeing other people take pictures of his work.

It wasn’t like.. All good, you know? Yeah, a lot of the time he saw people praising his work. It looked cool, it meant this or that. Everyone had an opinion, but it seemed like lately he was seeing more and more criticism than he was used to. 

“Whose toddler stole the paint cans”

“Y r the shit artists anon??”

“F”

“This is fuckign vandelism! Arrest this dejenerat!”

… Yeah. And that was fine, he could get over that. Trolls were not something that typically got under his skin, not really. But what does get under his skin is seeing other artists on the scene. Ones who see his art and criticize it to hell and back.

And he gets it. He gets it! Not everyone is going to like his art. Sometimes, Mikey didn’t even like his own art. But it is a disappointment, it does cause him to drag his feet when it comes to the next project. 

Mikey grinned beneath his mask. It was an orange respirator, something to protect his lungs from the paint particles. Raph and Leo mandated it, Donnie built it. Such is most of the equipment that winds up in his hands. 

Along his waist, Mikey had an array of colors hooked along a belt. Ah!! Yes, his belt. It matched his respirator, bright orange with a butt ton of colors sprayed over it! It was the best way he found to transport his paints but!! It served a double purpose! Mikey was dipping his toes in the fashion pools, and that meant extravagant fashions and unique pieces!

All of which meant nothing to someone trying to remain incognito. So, unfortunately, Mikey was in dull, dark colors. He was wearing cargo pants and a hoodie. Both of which really were not very fashion forward but they hid the whole turtle thing, so it was working. But, we digress. This is not about fashion, though it could be, it is about art! Not that fashion isn’t art but-

Art. Mikey’s art. 

The young turtle leapt down from the rooftop, falling into a roll as his momentum carried him through it. He paused as he stood in front of the midtown tunnel entrance. Cars were passing slowly but at this time of night, they were either too busy trying to get home or onto some of their own seedy business to care about what some kid was doing.

If Mikey were a better kid, he’d investigate more. But right now he wasn’t a hero. 

He slowly walked into the tunnel, his hands pushed deep into his pockets as he walked deeper. The lights were a hazy orange-yellow, and Mikey was quietly noting to himself that his beautiful golden spray would not be useful in this light, but in his secret spot it would stand out. As he walked deeper into the tunnel, the sounds became amplified around him. The distant sounds of cars bounced off the walls and soaked into his skin. His walking turned to bouncing as he grew closer to his ideal spot. A maintenance door around a quarter of the way through. Mikey had scoped it out a while ago, it was the perfect place to put up a tag. As he came up on the door, Mikey pulled it open with ease and squeezed his way inside. He made sure to shut the door behind him, looking at the large room that was opened up to him. 

Right across from him, a large cement wall stood clear. He’d have to be worried about drippage but other than that? There was a large crack that settled diagonally. It ran from the upper left all the way down to the lower right, it was clear cut. 

It was the perfect canvas. 

Mikey pulled the first can out of his belt, shaking it violently. The small metal ball clattered against the sides over and over until Mikey felt the pigment within was mixed enough. With a pinch of his fingers, the cap popped off and clattered off to the side of the room, to be forgotten.

Then, he got to work. 

Today, Mikey had a personal goal. He was going to paint some of the sickest birds you have ever seen in your entire life. Mikey pulled out his crumpled up sketchbook paper as he got close to the wall, testing a spray or two before he started his outline. He was using a dark gray, something to be covered up later. 

And on went the layers, slowly but surely. Mikey loved spray painting, it made his brain go outside the box rather than stay inside its constrictions. He had to really focus on what was going where. But that’s why he was using a template. 

Time seemed to stop existing in that room, Mikey didn’t know how long he was down there. But he did know that, eventually, he came to a point where he was pleased with what he had done. He took a huge step back, letting the golden can drop to his side as he observed the scene right before him. Golden doves flying out of the crack in the wall, strong and powerful against the dull concrete. Mikey grinned, his hands moving to his hips. 

“Thinkin' in a bad way, losin' your grip. Screamin' at my face, baby, don't trip. Someone took a big L, don't know how that felt. Lookin' at you sideways, party on tilt.”

Mikey pulled out his phone, angling it as best he could to get the doves all in at once. As his finger hovered over the capture button, light appeared at the corner of his vision. 

Something strong was coming, that’s all Mikey knew, but he didn’t have time to react before a dark mass shot out of the light source and crashed into him. His phone went flying off in some distant direction, a flash of its own and the distinct shutter of the camera app were the only indications that it was still functional. 

Mikey tumbled to the floor, groaning as his own arm smacked him across the face. Had he been hit with a missile? Is that what happened?

Mikey slowly lifted his head up from the floor when he heard a groan that mirrored his own. 

“Leo..?”

“Whose Leo?”

The two figures froze as they stared at each other. Mikey.. Did not recognize this person. Their mask- At least he hoped it was a mask- was black with a spiderweb pattern. Eyes rimmed with a red fabric.

“Who are you??” Mikey questioned, very quick to leap up to his feet. The other figure pushed himself up, holding both his hands up quickly. Mikey felt the itch in his palms, the need to pull his weapon out and defend himself from this stranger. Especially because he could see some kind of device smoking from his wrist.

“It’s okay! I’m Spider-Man!” The stranger shouted, causing Mikey to cock his head to the side. 

“Spider-Man?? Who is that??” He questioned. 

The figure’s arms seemed to falter for a moment, his own head cocking to the opposite side. “You.. You don’t know who Spider-Man is? You know, webslinging hero of New York? Actually- Are we in New York City? Does New York exist?? Am I in Fallout??” 

Mikey blinked slowly at the figure, trying to figure out what this guy was babbling about. A.. A hero? Like in a comic book? He feels like he should be surprised, he really should. But somehow, compared to everything else, this somehow just seemed to make sense to him. Mikey didn’t understand the Fallout bit- but then he remembered his respirator. 

“Oh! No! No, no! I was just painting, no nuclear fallout at all!” Mikey shouted as he reached up and pulled his mask off without thinking. “See? Completely normal!”

“... You’re a turtle,” The stranger said slowly, his eyes turning into slits. Mikey looked down at mask then back up at them. 

“Okay, so not normal! But everyone else is! .. You aren’t panicking.” Mikey noted, his own eyebrows drawing together. 

“Well, no.. I mean, you are pretty weird- No offense! But uh.. I’ve seen a lot of weird stuff through my travels..” Their hand moved up to rub at the back of their neck.

“Travels…?”

Their eyes shot open, then they shook their head. “Isn’t it actually your turn to tell me something about you? Like uh, your name?”

“I’m Michelangelo, but everyone just calls me Mikey!” The turtle responded, holding his hand out, “I guess it’s nice to meet you… Spider-Man?”

“Gah- You know what? Call me Miles,” 

And just like that, the stranger had a name. 

Miles reached out, smacking his hand against Mikey’s. As if the two had done it thousands of times before, their fingers curled around each other in a secret handshake. The two stared at their hands for a long moment before Mikey pulled back first. Had they met somewhere before? Likely not, but Mikey couldn’t help but grin at this immediate connection. Maybe, they could be friends. 

“So, um, do you come through portals often?” Mikey questioned, leaning over to the side to look behind Miles. But the area around him was void of any light from before. Miles looked over his shoulder.

“Huh? Oh! No, not really. I mean, I do on occasion, yeah, but usually I try to stay home. You know, not trying to get in trouble. I just uh.. I guess the villain, his name is Electro..? Well, he fried this watch my friend gave me and.. Now I’m here.” Miles said, gesturing to the smoking device on his wrist. 

“... Can you get home..?” Mikey questioned, placing his hands on his hips. Miles’ eyes widened and he very quickly pulled the watch before his eyes, tapping at the screen as it flickered rapidly. “No.. No! Come on..” Miles muttered, brushing his hand against his face. 

“I.. Well, I can, but also I can’t. Here if I just..” Miles pressed the button on the side of the watch, listening to it chime for a moment. “That should give my location to my friend.. She can come get me, but until then..” 

Miles looked around, “You said you were painting?” 

Mikey’s grin slowly turned full blast as he saw the golden opportunity. He grabbed Miles’ wrist, pulling him the few feet he needed to just to turn the hero in the right direction to see it. 

“Oh, yo!” Miles’ eyes went ride as he crossed the space to come up to the wall. “This is sick, man! I love incorporating the environment around me into the piece, it feels like it really shows love to the canvas, you know?”

Mikey was quick to move up next to him, clapping his hands together, “Yeah! Yeah, ohmigosh, yeah. Wow. I am so glad that you understand, I feel like no one gets it around here!” 

“What? How can people not get it! I swear, art is dead,” Miles complained, crossing his arms over his chest. But he looked over to Mikey. He had no mouth but the little artist could see the smile that laid beneath the mask through his eyes alone. 

“I don’t think it’s dead, it’s just learning. You gotta respect the process,” Mikey noted as he pulled one of the cans from his belt, tossing it over to Mile, “Do you paint?”

Miles caught the can, looking it over for a moment. Ruby red, how appropriate. “Do I paint? All the time. Sometimes when you’re patrolling the streets, you have way too much free time on your hands. Mind if I tag a wall?”

Mikey mulled it over, looking at the space around him- He’d be lying if he said he didn’t have this entire room planned out head to toe. But then he let out a small hum. “Actually, please do. Then I have something to remember you by when you inevitably have to go home,”

Miles seemed to light up at that, shaking his can as he extended his arm out. With a sharp THWIP! A web shot out from his wrist and connected to the ceiling. Miles pulled himself up with it, finding a spot up by the ceiling. “I figure I’ll take over this spot up here where a land turtle like you can’t reach,” Miles teased, looking over his shoulder smugly as he started to spray the wall. 

“Don’t be too sure about that, spider! I may look grounded but I am as free as they come!” Mikey called back, but he refrained from showing off. Instead, he grabbed his own golden can of paint from the ground and moved to stand below Miles. In sync, the two started to paint. 

Mikey put his name in tag, sharp curves but sharper points. Large and proud! With it, he placed one of his signatures. A golden turtle shell- Kind of on the nose, he knows. But at this point, being subtle has not gotten him the results he has wanted.

Alternatively, Miles did much the same. In a bright red, he wrote “Miles” onto the wall. But he was less controlled- No, not less controlled at all. He was deliberate in where he let the paint build up. The drips of the paint rolled down the cement with practiced ease. Mikey admired that. While he was trying so hard to control his paints to make them look nice and proper, but this style was fun and unique!

 The two chatted as they worked, Miles talked about his life- Apparently he was a student and a hero at the same time. Mikey didn’t understand how he did it, Mikey could barely be a hero some days! But Mikey got to talk about his brothers some, he learned that Miles didn’t have any. That was wild! But April didn’t have siblings either so it wasn’t too wild. 

Instead, Miles had an infinite amount of himself out there to bond with. Mikey remembered listening to Donnie once upon a time, how the multiverse would allow for anything to be possible as long as it could be conceived. That meant, there were infinite versions of Miles. That also meant there were infinite versions of himself out there as well. 

But! That’s why Miles was here! Because he was able to travel to these universes. That’s how he met his friend Gwen!

“Yeah! And my friend, Peter, he showed me how to do all this cool stuff! He’s kind of like.. Well, you said your dad was your sensei? He’s kind of like mine,” Miles explained. 

Mikey grinned, “Oh yeah? That’s pretty cool! Maybe one day a version of me will come out of a portal and teach me how to be a cool hero,” he pondered, tapping his chin.

“Yeah? Well if he does, figure out how to come visit me.” Miles grinned. 

Mikey went to open his mouth, but as he did, that light came back. Mikey got a good look at it now. It was bright with various boxes glitching in and out of it. Like a comic tearing apart at the seams! It was cool!

But, that also means that Miles has to go. 

Miles sighs, dropping down to the ground before the portal, turning to face Mikey. “This is my ride..”

Mikey sighed, holding his hand out, “Come visit again, you here? We have an entire room to fill.”

Miles’ hand smacked into his, but instead of leaving it at a handshake, he pulled Mikey in for a hug. “I’ll be back before you know it, promise.” Miles smirked, stepping back from the hug. “Good luck, Mikey.”

Miles stepped through the portal, and Mikey stared at it until it disappeared. He stopped, looking around. There were so many cans everywhere. With a sigh, he gathered them all up. It was nearing morning, he needed to go home. Mikey almost left without his phone! Almost, of course. Because he did hear his text tone right as he was about to leave the room. He rushed over to the side of the room to pick it up. 

Delightfully, the screen wasn’t cracked at all. Donnie had said it could survive a 50 foot drop, and the small ten feet it flew was only a fraction of that. He moved to the center of the room, framing his golden doves once again in the middle of the screen. Mikey stuck his tongue out as he focused in and.. Snap! 

Mikey grinned, tapping the small photo icon to view his masterpiece. 

He paused, however, as he looked down at the small photo that was next up in the preview. He swiped his finger to the right and he couldn’t stop himself from breaking out into laughter.

On his phone screen, a photo of Miles and him both falling to the ground. Miles was flying with a bit more momentum than Mikey was, but both of their eyes were comically wide. He didn’t even realize his phone had captured this moment.

He left it alone, tucking his phone into his pocket as he once again left for the door. 

A week later, Mikey would come back. An image wouldn’t leave his mind, something that felt important enough to brand the room with. On the wall of that maintenance room in the tunnel, he recreated the portal where Miles disappeared. He made the comic boxes, the Ben-Day dots, he even tossed in a spider emblem or two. He didn’t know if Miles would come back, he certainly hoped so. Mikey needed more friends who could understand the things he like. 

Miles didn’t have to come back, he had left enough of an impression on the young artist, but if he did? Mikey had a spray can with his name on it waiting.

“Or you'll be left in the dust, unless I stuck by ya. You're the sunflower.

You're the sunflower.”

[iilmunchkiin]

Life Update

Hey so I know y'all like my art and all but college is creeping up on me so I might start posting less

I appreciate all the comments dearly, I really do, thank you so much for being so interested in my artworks and supporting me, but for now I really gotta take a break..

I might start going in a half-hiatus?? kind of state, where I'll be online but, not as active as I usually do...

This might change in the future, hopefully it does because I genuinely enjoy making silly art. This post is also going to be like some kind of time capsule to remind myself of SHIT I NEED TO DO.

I'm just filled with so much uncertainty at the moment...

If you read this all the way, thank you. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

(More yapping + potential art/concepts I plan to make underneath the cut)

(I repeat, some of these aren't final, just concepts)

Redesigning the entire undertale red and yellow cast into my style ( + the human souls )

Make a fuckign reference sheet for my persona

3 UTY AUs I plan to make

1st AU (Gameshow!AU) : Clover is aware of resets and they work along side Flowey with each other their own seperate goals (Clover - for the 5 missing children, Flowey - you already know), both of them treat the monsters and life itself as a video game and see everyone as nothing else but an NPC that exists in the game of life, however, deep down Clover genuinely cares and gets attached to everyone and their stories, but for the other's sake they have to pretend, pretend they don't care, pretend they're dismissive of everyone, and pretend to be the villain they claim they are. If they don't, Flowey will catch up and notice something's wrong so Clover just plays along as Flowey pulls on their strings and keep up the facade.

2nd AU (Insanity!AU) : Everyone's Insane, it's basically like the rot comic except Clover is actually alive this time and they witness everyone just spiraling into madness. They're just so sucked up and so mentally fucked it, it feeds my delulu brain. (Example: Starlo losing his identity and not knowing who he is anymore because of how much he pretended to be someone he wasn't) (it's giving horrortale without the cannibalism lol)

3rd AU (Sci-Fi!AU) : basically everyone is like working in a company like uhm.. Mission Impossible type style or smth... like... they gotta save clover from Flowey's antics or smth idk man I'm cringe asf. The fiesty 4 is ganna be there along with Decibat and Penilla, Ceroba is going to be like the main focus since she's the one doing the planning and all. (Everyone is going to be in uniform and everything omg theyre so cool)

Some actual domestic and cute fluffy art because god damn I make so much sad shit HAHAHA (Examples: Beach Barbeque party, laundry day, grocery/clothes shopping in the surface)

More animations/animatics

Other things that aren't related to uty

As for the rot comic series I kinda(?) made in the r/UndertaleYellow sub, posts will get slower. I already mentioned it on reddit but I'll just copypaste what I said here.

If you want my reddit acc uhhhhh here lol (Also speaking of reddit holy SHIT I GOT AN AWARD???? I also loved reading the really long texts omg I love it when people hyper analyze shit)

And speaking of analyze.. did you guys notice Starlo's thingy on his hat was supposed to be a heartbeat? :3c

[tu-es-gegg]

I think I'm crazy but like my favourite part of slimeriana that I don't hear much of is their intense loyalty to each other

Like I feel some people underestimate how they are very close and always come as a pair because they both are obsessed with each other, they never want to choose anyone else that isn't the other misclicker

In that sense of, yknow when you hate someone so much they live rent free in your head, yeah it's that with them, and they will always seem to gravitate to each other in any circumstances

In the early days before the first death they only stayed together because of Juanaflippa, they both ceased any sort of conflict if it made Juana upset (in spite of their collective attention span, seriously)

and they could've moved apart after that and push each other away, but no

Funeral stream, they both were by each others side and grieved together. They were petty and jealous torgtehr, even without a reason to. Because it had to be them together

They always joked about divorcing and argued ofver miniscule things and in the end, they are each others safety spots, they like it better when they make each other crazy

And the absence of another half already had a toll on slime, nobody who could really understand him in his eyes like Mariana, it took him so long to find somewhat of a safety net, a safe place where he could be happy because his one safe thing, his family, was gone

Wedding stream, slime talking with foolish and he says nothing sets his heart ablaze anymore, no one is able to love the same way he does or spark the same intensity as Mariana did to him

So he had to have courage and find it in friends by himself, which already took fuckign forever and even then, he doesn't really have anyone as close to him that he can fully confide with or that he mentions OVER AND OVER as much as Mariana (compare that with how easy fit moved on from spreen, the pinnacle divorcees) slime could easily say 'i don't love him anymore' but no, he can't say that because love is in just simply being so obsessed

And Mariana is the same, no matter what he never considers anyone else to be his husband, he can complain over and over about slime and poke as many flirty jokes to others but at the end of the day, when he meets new people on the qsmp he says he is married with slime, and he is never ashamed of that fact, in fact he's the one actively trying NOT to let divorce happen when it gets brought up because he does want to stay with slime, he's just as head over heels obsessed

If the missclick divorce is ever actually real, you know that shits gone ABSOLUTELY wrong, cause really could that ever happen under normal circumstances

Cause are they a healthy couple? Fuck knows, they dorve each other crazy to the point they turn the clock around back to sane for each other that, if you pair them with anyone else they will just make it worse

Are they one of the strongest couples that never waivers in their loyalty to each other? No matter what it will always be those two even if apart? Yes

[yourmamaslastaffair]

It's a rant post. You don't have to read it, but feel free to

Life shouldn't be hard. LIFE SHOULD NOT

I, for the life of me, CANNOT comprehend what the FUCK is wrong with me! Am I neurodivergent? Am I mentally ill? THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS NORMAL. NO. FUCKING. WAY.

You are telling me that I am supposed to wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast, go to school, spend 5 OR MORE NON STOP hours studying, go home, shower, do homework, eat again and go to sleep????????????? ALL WHILE KEEPING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE?????? WHILE EATTING A HEALTHY DIET???? WHILE EXERCISING??? AND ALSO HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE???????????

H

O

W

You are not joking? You are seriuosly saying that there are geniounly poeple who can do it all? WHO?!?!?!?!?

You are telling ME that I have to do all that? Are you hearing yourself right now? You are not kidding me, when you tell me that there are people who can do that? W H O

SHOWRING ONCE A WEEK IS AN ACOMPLISHMENT FOR ME AND YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO DO THAT SHIT 3 TO 4 TIMES A WEEK? OR EVERYDAY???? YOURE TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO WASH MY TEETH TWICE A DAY??? EVERY-FUCKING-DAY OF MY LIFE??????? YOURE TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO HAVE A BALANCED DIET, WHICH HAS A LOT OF NUTRIENTS AND SHIT WHILE LITERALLLLLYYY EATTING IS AN ACOMPLISHMENT???????????

There is no way this shit is normal. THERE IS NO WAY THAT IT IS!!

Everytime I look for help online I only see "tips for blah blah blah for ADHD'ers" , " easier way to do bleh bleh bleh for autistic people" or " how to bluh bluh bluh *insert mental disorder* ". Every FUCKIGN time. I never see neurotypical people struggling with basic tasks like brushing your teeth or clening your room. It's always someone with a condition or a diagnosis. Never. anyone. else. NEVER.

I KNOW that I don't have that! I AM NOT AUTISTIC. I DONT HAVE ADHD. I DONT HAVE A CONDITION OR A DISORDER. I DONT. IF I HAD ONE IT WOULD BE DIAGNOSED. OF I HAD ONE THERE WOULD BE SINGS. IF I HAD ONE MY LIFE WOULD BE FUCKING EARIER!!!

If I did, in fact, have a condition of sorts then I would be able to ask for accomodations. I would be able TO ASK. FOR. H E L P

Yet I know I don't. Nothing in my life is severe enough to be considered ANYTHING close to ANY OF THAT. IF I HAD SYMPTOMS PEOPLE WOULD NOTICE! But they don't. Cuz I don't have any.

I envy people who have a diagnosis. I feel hopeless. I cannot live a life like this. There is just no way that this is how it's supposed to be. There is no way that there ISN'T something wrong with me. (not saying there is anything wrong with poeple who have anything mentioned above) There is just something wrong with me. I am not "neurodivergent" or "mentally unwell" or "undiagnosed", I'm just a pathetic excuse of a human being. I feel horrible. I'm crying as I am writting this because this shit is making so emotional. I feel that there is something O F F about me. I just don't know what.

I am neurotypical. I am mentally-almost-stable. I have a family that cares for me and friends too. I'm not dumb, I know how life works.

I am just bad at being a human. I don't know how to be one. I don't. And that's it. I know that, because I don' t have any symptoms close enough in severity to those of people who are mentally ill or neurodivergent. I'm not. I'm just enviuos. At least they get to know why there are this way. I don't. I hate it here

[rainbowgod666]

IMPORTANT: This blog's *official* purpose is so you can talk to your blorbos. If its a Media thats Famous, 97% of the time you can ask them whats life inside of a world borne of my imagination. Also, you can send me images of creatures that dont exist and MAYBE i can Taxonomize them. Idfk

Colors sendable (the first image is from @sizzlingcandyjellyfishhh while thesecond image is from @gaybichon), and also the @wynmu vibes thing. While the divider was made by @sister-lucifer (weird url ik but mines weirder soooo)

To all RPers: my very existence takes the narrative and uses it as toilet paper. The 4th wall is my onahole and so help me you will Behave.

To let you get started, here are some of my best posts. Remember that the Ourple ones are KINDA mandatory if you want ANY background on wtf is this blog.

List of my powers / Its the end of the world as you know it (and i did it on purpose) / an admin kicked me off the island lmao / Mental Health Time / That one time i traumadumped to mewo omori about my usual shit / PM Seymour has removed me from his internet. / You Absolute Buffoons / The Numeron Game / Well thats a thing that happened! / Out of touch: leap yeap / 🅱️usiness / Magnus did nothing wrong, except its steven universe / welcome to the internet, SCP edition / #HALLOLLAH# / AMERICA IS FASCIST HEAVEN BECAUSE FUNNY / Lost Childhoods / please save those poor gay americans / Free Disco Elysco / Bone to the bad / Priting Wrojects / the True Range of my abilities / the fuck's an apocalypse knight anyway? / @punkitt-is-here fucked Geronimo Stilton and i think its a good thing / Alex goes batshit insane and forces everyone to do as he says... again 🙄 / Screaming in a Pattern. / wizardposting: because powerscaling needed fuckign Zeno Dragonballsuper apparently / BEN 10 BUT LANCER? FUCK YEAH! / So i went batshit insane again / High Geology / fantasy settings on tumblr are really fucking cool actually / RIFLE. IS. FINE. BUT YOU FUCK UP DESIGN YOU UROD. / i technically claimed ownership of Dr. Bright and Betty from glitchtale do you seriously think im NOT gonna do that for homestuck? / XenasOuch / SCP-8000 contest, OR: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUC- / LEMMINO but like, 8 years ago / Hazbin Hotel: a necessary... something i guess. / the original joke was my brain yapping about predators sooo...

Below is who i am, and also the tags you can (and should) search for

Hi, name's Alex.

Born on the first ever day of 2005 and also having aspergers, i am a guy from italy trying to make it impossible for anyone to spend a day without knowing who i am. Also i literally trascend powerscaling so hard the only things that can even put a DENT on me are... decided by me. Welcome to the multiverse i guess.

DNI: people who support genocide, people who tolerate corporate bullshit, racists, and terfs.

The following list is ALL THE TAGS USED TO NAVIGATE THIS BLOG. Seriously. This masterpost is an explaiantion for the "portal hub" i placed in the search bar

Lore Post: sometimes the lore of the multiverse, sometimes my personal life.

Welcome to the multiverse: sometimes MASSIVE textpost telling everyone "oh yeah right, this dude has autism", usually me existing. tHE MAIN TAG.

Alex's Answering Machine: literally my asks

The magical workshop: turns out the wizards of tumblr are the reason the phrase "some of y'all have gotten too comfortable saying stuff without getting punched for it" exist. And its up to my autistic, protagonism-fueled low self-esteem high self-awareness ass to... fix shit up.

Belowstory: undertale but REALLY FUCKED UP: so basically frisk falls down and is greeted by a feminine voice that calls itself chara (it becomes slightly visible after getting out of the ruins) and like the good boi undertale character he is he proceeds to save the world. This entire thing exists because one time I was like "how fucked up OP can a sans be before its My Immortal levels of wtf?" And uh yeah here we are uuuuuuh sans greets you by pointing a .44 magnum at you so thank the head of the guards (papyrus) for saving you. Everyone here is broken and just wants A Fucking Break. Also you gain levels in pacifist because LOVE is Level Of VirtuE. Fuck you lmao

Undertale.exe: so I looked at Camilla Cuevas being an awful person. Then i looked at the beautiful anime that is @jakei95's underverse... then i smushed it all toghether to basically create the perfect AU. Frisk is a pansexual fuccboi that Has Game, Chara is THICC and has the best knife ever, Betty is a 1000 year old living superweapon thats also a hot girl, and Asriel is a Streemur. All of them live in this house far away from the city thats literally a larger version of sans' house. All charachters can legally drink (prepare for Drunk Chara shenanigans where its Betty Glitchtale the drunk one instead) and the only one who (probably) isnt gay is Asriel (even though frisk covets the Dreemur Dong) (one day soldier, one day...). Many chatachters from many AUs sometimes come to visit cause, you know. Its a nice place.

Curseworld: massive writing project of mine which is just "adventure time shaped mass of autism". The world is cursed and fucked over, and everything is colorful. Its also part Owl House because fuck you the magic system is FUCKED here.

Internet friends: basically internet stereotype-shaped people. We have a furry thats normal, a reddit/discord mod that just wants to work in peace, and the protagonist is Just A Guy but a-ha! He has both an xbox an...d ps5 thus fucking over any CAD reference. The last sketch i made was a mr.monopoly shaped guy who really wants youngsters to actually AFFORD shit who is married to a very obvious reference to Meru the succubus. Also i 100% intend to put a gag about mr beast living in an ATM when he isnt making videos

Im looking respectfully: look. Back then tumblr was basically Rule 34 with twitter users. Now its way better at the cost of a fraction of their value. Have fun looking at attactive women!

TOH:NEXT GENERATION: not even @moringmark's comics are safe! Enjoy the adventures of ayzee commented by me... telling everyone that shes STRONG strong. Like holy shit girl inherited will much?

Warhammer 50k: listen. This is just me looking at games workshop and fucking emperors tts and going "fuck that. Heres mine". This is a project where my "shard" assegned to this universe basically copies the imperium because, and im not joking, "the emperor is kind of a baka, but then again tzeentch is a thing so...". Also btw TTS is canon as SHIT. Like fr its all canon. Yes even the shadowsun fling, let kitten rest.

Pluripotent Impotence: an scp canon of mine thats basically "the foundation is so cold and clinical they MASSIVELY misunderstood shit". 6140, 6500, 5500 and 7000 are canon. 2718 and 5000 are in the files but they basically might as well not exist. 3812 is living tech support. 166 is in her early 20s and 239 is 19 and they fuck nasty (theyre also childhood friends. Girl Love i guess~) because fuck you clef love wins especially yuri go snort telekill dust. 2317 loves humans and thins theyre cute and squishy and when its seventh child turned out to be fucking JoyBoy? Yeah get this: he DID condemn the fortune teller that was like "dude your sevent child is one of those prophecy children that are so in vogue these days" but also messed with fate so that her death ended up being the coolest and most inspiring shit ever because he was like "considering the average Evil King story, i might as well just... let this happen! Maybe i can convince my literal offspring to spare me!" And it fucking worked. Also a bunch of shit is canon. @i-am-dado looks like a Kpop star and is somft. Dr Jack bright is my character and mine alone and also elias shaw is there i guess. My OC bangs the first one of these 2 amulet boys on a regular basis and the second one occasionally, dont ask why is there a gay polycule when im straight, there are some things that escape my mind. I have been in SCP for a long time and regardless of me making my account 6/1/2024 (LA BEFANAH) i have been here longer than you believe in. From my perspective it took a year before a 5000 contest was announced, so fcuk yoyu

Earth-ℵ₀: the best way to take care of the DC and Marvel universes is... let an autistic dude fix damages done by money-hungry idiots in hollywood. The joker is unimportant. Dr.Manhattan is Done With This Shit. I made a squad with random charachters i like. Lmao suck on uranium rods UwU

ytposting: (Funkdela Catalogue: Encounter starts playing)

Omni-shit: ben 10 is actually a good series guys, and the reboot is an interesting way of showing what would Ben 10 Classic look like if it was made Now

1% enhancement: basically i look at something and go like "hey what if the charachters were basically part me but not in a Knights of the Apocalypse way"

Tumblr italia: aò sono italiano che cos'altro vi aspettate

components: basically i use tumblr as image hosting. LoL.

Items: images turned undertale items. For reference, i have 2³¹-1 HP and my stats are ATK 100000 and DEF 65535. Yes the attack is a yugioh zexal reference. NOSTALGIA IS PTSD BUT GOOD.

Mungeon Deshi: dunmeshi is a good anime and marcille is italian

Full Nelson Analchemist: if FMA exists in my presence im going to give the 20k mg weed gummy to Truth

Evangelion 4.0: look, hideki anno has gone insane. Every time he makes evangelion as the most brain damaging version of telling someone to go touch grass people inevitably miss the point. I take it upon myself to give the @jakei95 treatment to the poor creatures (also fun fact: KAWOSHIN CANON. THEY KISS ON SCREEN. FUCK YOU AMERICA.)

The hoes are stuck: homestuck. What you thought they were safe from my grasp? 人間 you havent seen sheiße.

FeeF the BeeB: minecraft mod bullsheiße

[[Nothing Is Worth The Risk]]: lets just say that sometimes, the multiverse isnt that "cool and good"

Ultimate Sonic: i have a Sonic AU where... uhm... just. If i have a post about that. Just look at it. LoL.

Multiverse Polls: i make tHEM-

Autistic and Artistic: (draws happily)

Side effects of reading this blog can vary between true insight into the inner workings of the universe and self-defenestration from the top of the burj khalifa.

Anyways welcome to the multiverse

Do yourself a favour and dont go out without a loaded gun.

[its-your-mind]

hello all and welcome back to everyone's favorite game show:

can! that! comic! artist! be! trusted! with! womennnn!!!* *airhorn noises*

*in like, a drawing way. can they be trusted to draw women. I know literally nothing else about these artists. whether or not real life women choose to trust them is entirely up to the women.

up first! We have *drumroll* Kasia Niemczyk! *airhorn noises*

exhibit a:

Spider-Gwen: The Ghost-Spider (2025) #12 Kasia Niemczyk Variant

why do gwen's boobs need their own air pocket/ventilation. why does it seem like it's just there to make her boobs bigger. is the air stored in the boobs? oh wait, it can't be, because the bottom is just. open.

exhibit b:

Psylocke (2025) #3 Kasia Niemczyk Variant

you know what, it commits the sin of slightly overemphasized boobs, but I will FORGIVE IT EVERYTHING bc LOOK! AT! THOSE! THIGHS! they are fucknig real! they squish like real muscled thighs do! (source: I too have very muscly thighs accompanied by no ass bc the muscle is the same fuckign muscle) even her calves are squishing properly! (source: see above. one time I flexed my calf in front of a lesbian to show off the tattoos I have there and their brain shorted out for a second. it is still one of the highlights of my life.) ANYWAY holy fuck I am so delighted by this. it almost makes me forgive and forget gwen's open-to-the-vacuum-of-space air boobs. almost.

exhibit c:

Wasp (2023) #1 1:25 Kasia Niemczyk Variant

I... hmm.

I'm starting to think this artist can be trusted with thighs and not boobs. thighs are pretty okay. why does it feel like her suit has like. four sets of nipples somehow? even though it's all just body armor??? also, where are all of her torso organs, bc they are certainly not in her torso.

Verdict on Kasia Niemczyk: to be trusted with thighs. boobs require much improvement. can continue to draw women, but is on thin fucking ice.

our next contestant: *drumroll* Jeff Dèkal!!! *airhorn noises*

exhibit a:

Fire & Ice: When Hell Freezes Over #1 Cover C

I... what the fuck. hey, hey Jeff??? what the fuck. did you. did you censor out Ice's junk? like this is the sfw cover of fuckign vampirella?!? and what the fuck is that fucking jock-strap (her only item of clothing) that's pretending to try to be a bra?!? and like, Fire is better, but only because it would be literally impossible to be worse without needing to fucking bag the comics in opaque bags like one does the porn. like the aforementioned vampirella, specifically when it is nsfw and full tits-out. (brief sidebar: I don't have anything against porn comics necessarily, though I do hate having to share a store with straight men when they start talking about them. also, I don't want my DC comics to accidentally become porn without like. letting me know about it.) (also, here are fire and ice's normal outfits, just as a point of reference:)

Fire & Ice: When Hell Freezes Over #1 - Cover art by Terry Dodson

like, still sexy for SURE, but very clearly their own kinds of sexy that don't involve walking around fucking pooh bear style.

I don't even wanna get another one. but in the interests of journalistic integrity.

exhibit b:

Power Girl (2024) #15 Cover B

oh my fucking shit. holy good gosh. how did he oversexualize POWER GIRL. my beautiful angel alien icon what has he DONE TO YOU. what the ufck is with the MAKEUP?! the brows, the thick eye-liner, the dark lip??? and. the boobs. he took the BOOB WINDOW for which power girl is KNOWN which has at this point been ESTABLISHED as POWER OVER HER OWN SEXUALITY and she's. looking down at it. drawing your attention to it. and made it lower??? so that you (at least me) think "holy fuck she is one wrong move from flashing a nipple that can't be good for superheroing"

and again. for FUCKING reference:

Power Girl #16 Cover B by Miguel Mercado

look at her fuckin cheeky little wink while she fully flexes and shows off! fuck I love her sm (also. LEGS. s h o u l d e r s. abs. hngngnng.)

okay I don't wanna keep looking. jeff, you've failed. no more comic book women for you. get off my superhero lawn.

[cconfusedkat]

Hello. Please don't feel required to answer this publicly or anything of the sorts, at most read it. I'm not sure if you remember us, if memory serves correctly I used to date one of your alters. but I found a bunch of our ex friends usernames and all that in our notes app and instructions for us to reach out in case our host goes officially dormant and apologize. Well that's happened. I figured I'd try tumblr first so I made this new account just for this. If I have the wrong user my deepest apologies. I just wanted to apologize to you on behalf of our ex host, he's done awful things to us and I assume you as well. Around the time before he went dormant we had been basically put into two sides of our system and we're put against eachother, I was on the opposite side of his. For a short while I was on his but later on "switched sides". He had attempted to manipulate us all into thinking what he was doing was normal and had even threatened the body's safety if we didn't do what he had wanted.. which led to me faking his dormancy and him having us run off of our main account on twitter at the time. This had turned into our mental health, especially his, rapidly declining. This, resulted in his dormancy. To be quite honest we're all relieved he's dormant. I just hope you see our side and forgive us, while our ex host can't apologize for what he did, we are taking accountability as a system for what he did and letting him do it. If you can't find it in your soul to forgive us, especially him, I understand. Please have a good day and everything else. - 🎞️

this ask was enough to give me a panic attack. i hope that gives you your answer on wether or not id forgive the rest of you.

i retyped this OVER and OVER but i cant genuinely express the fear instilled into me. from preventing me trusting all my friends, struggling with dms and keeping close relatjonships, being scared of. Every. Single. Person. I interact with.

and wondering if I should forgive you? your ex.host? the proshipper who engaged on tcctwt and encouraged minors for shotacon stuf? the motherfucker that traumatized his own system and has the lot of you mentally scarred? the man who gives my very own brother meltdowns from remembering the friendship he had with him? the man who i had a relationship with and regretted every single fukckign day of those nine momths? the man who we bogh encouraged our mentally ill bejaviors towards onr another? the man who i struggle to get over bevause everything i do is correspondent to him? leaving me and my brother mentally scarred because.of him?the man who ruined mh social life because i cant fuckign cope and heal with the immense betrayal there was of finding that twitter thread made about him?

im sorry he was a piece of shit to you all i knew something was up in the beginning. but i. I cant forgive you guys. not even him.

actions can be explained. trauma responses can be explained. but i will never—EVER—EVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THE SHIT HES CAUSED FOR THE OTHER CHILDREN. ME. MY BROTHER WHOS THE SAME AGE AS THOSE CHILDREN. GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE HES FUCKING CAUSED HUH

you will never understand the pain ive been put through because of him. im not just someone behind a screen. my social skills worsened, my trust issues worsened, everything worsened for me bevause the one true person i thought was a perfect match for me ends up a pedophilic fucker and betrays me beyond belief. i knew since day one may 2023 that was my biggest mistake of meeting him.

ill never be the same again. ill never remember who i was in the past. you sending this ask aleady fuckign triggered me to think about him again and freak out. im sorry that happened to you guys but im never fogiving him nor your system.

please never show up here again. not through an alt account. never cyberstalk me. nothing. none of that. i dont want your pity. i dont wany any other explanation. nothing of it.

i just need to lay down and go to the nurse.

[mayra-quijotescx]

If I'm having a bad day, it can never be like, 1 or 2 things goes wrong, I'm just completely and utterly In Situations until I manage to escape back to my home

ex: today I rolled a 1 somewhere on the cosmic tabletop RPG we are all always playing, and in no particular order: butt stuck to trolley seat I didn't realize was sticky until I sat down, had to attempt to clean it off with hand sanitizer because I couldn't properly wash it, which didn't quite dry fast enough for me to then walk around in the cold to our destination, which was the only gallery I have ever had a bad time at, I got to be totally cultureshocked in front of my in-laws (including one of them needing to temporarily pay my way out of the gift shop bc this ridiculous place COAT-CHECKED MY FUCKIGN BAG and I didn't think to take my wallet out), and once we were mercifully able to leave the trolley was late due to 'operator shortages' (shit shit did something happen), we tried to board a car with non-functioning doors because all other cars were a solid wall of bodies and by the time we realized those doors weren't opening THE OTHER DOORS CLOSED and the thing drove off without us, then when the next trolley finally got us to the transit center, between the two of us we got just about every single random encounter you can get in a transit center while trying to buy food that was ultimately not the experience we'd hoped it would be--

--throughout all of this, I'd gotten a notification that my tea order had been delivered. Unfortunately, our building isn't a great place to get things dropped for you if you're not there (I never received my holiday present from my work because of this) and even if you are home, you have to check three different spots because the delivery drivers do their best but there's not a standard drop spot. So we finally get home and, not finding it at Drop Spots 1 or 2, the Mrs. says she'll check Spot 3. I interpret what she says as 'wait by the elevator' so, tired though we both are, I say 'yeah ok, see you' and wait by the elevator. And wait. And a couple of people get off, and I wait. After 5-7 business minutes of this, I walk down the hallway to the stairs, call out to her, get no response, and follow the downstairs-to-Drop 3 trajectory. I don't see her anywhere, so I backtrack to the elevator, sigh, and press the button-- --Nothing. OH COOL SO NOW THE ELEVATOR IS BUSTED TOO, IS IT COULD THIS DAY GET ANY BETTER I buzz the thing half a dozen times, because it makes an angry noise when you do so and the lid had at last blown off the shaken mentos diet coke bottle of my rage. My impotent fury thus registered, I go and storm up the 5 flights of stairs to get home, only to see my wife standing in the doorway and looking confused. Apparently from her side, she'd intended to communicate that she'd meet me back home, headed down the stairs, managed to find the tea package, gone upstairs with it, been concerned when she didn't see me, took the elevator down (this is the exact time when I was checking the stairs for her!!), didn't find me there (because my stupid ass was looking for her outside!!), went back up in the elevator (at which point the elevator quite obviously wasn't responding to me), heard a bunch of angry elevator buzzing, and was about to call me when I emerged from the stairwell on the 6th floor. We were well and truly one jaunty piano track away from being a 1920s-era slapstick comedy short. Laughing at the absurdity of it actually helped me recover from the rest of today, so I can't be too mad. But goddamn when I tell you I'm not going outside again until Wednesday at earliest.

[gayspock]

balalala

and its like genuinely fucking speaking where do you go or what do you fucking do at some point . im trapped in this fucking house most of the time, im too exhausted to do anything, i manage to leave to go into town but theres nowhere to go or meet people. everything where i live isjsut designed for students. everyone i workwith already have lives and ijsut dont fit with anything even if i really fucking try.i dont have hobbies im not good atanything i cant keep anything fucking going withoutjsut. vbreaking down because i fucking hate it and i fucking hate forcing myself into shtifor the sake of trying to feel like im not just an empty fuckingvcessel and i dont know what the fukign point is veen if i did find some way to fucking try i jsut catn i dont think i can take it any more blah blah blah so embarrassingnothing ever goes fucking right when i do try and wah wah wah TRY AGAIN!! HUH!!but i genuinely fuckin g cant take it any more i feel so invisible every time i have tried or had had the opportunities it still nevermeant fucking anyhting i jsut cant make it work and i can tblamepeople bwcause fucking yeah fuckign wha tnobody would WANT to fucking talkto someone whos just . fucking nothing but a miserable peiceof fucking shit but i cant fucking do any bette ri cant i dont know whats wrong with me i dont fucking care the constant fuckign "get help" spiel is just so insanelyfucking isoplating and fuckign horrible as its jsut nothing but going in fucking circles with services that dont have the resources and donthave eople that fucking care a nd leave you in the lurc for so so fucking long and thats it thats what you have when youre alone thats literally itandfuck even if you go to them its "well do you have anyonew to live for" NO!!! NOOOOOO I FUCKING DONT! I FUCKING DONT! IF I DIED NOBODY WOULD CARE. SOMETIMES I TELL MYSELF PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY IF I DIED TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER BECAUSE AT LEAST THEN IT WOULD BE FUCKING SOMETHING YOU KNOW!!! RIGHT!!! SMILES. BIG SMILES i jsut feel like such apathetic fucking loser all the fucking time everyoneelse seems to manage at least something sometone who would fucking notice if they droped dead i dont fucking know nobody fucking sees me i feel so fucking worthless al the time i feel so so fucking worthless dude ive just promised myself this year this year this year is the year i fucking do it somehow because its done its over its so fucking pointless literally what. WHY not. WHYEVER not any more wha tis there to lvie for what makes you happy you can try at the things that make you happy it fucking means nothing youre nothing and youre no one amen goodnight

[sithwitch13]

AEW Double or Nothing 5/26/24

Love Thunder Rosa's Elvis gear

I think Thunder may murder Deonna over this

Fuck it has been 25 years since Owen what the fuck

Ok but which one did Schiavone not think was a big man

Gates/Cage of Agony have really been growing on me

I'm so dumb I just realized Ospreay's robe is supposed to be an Assassin's hood. The shiny colors and feathers obscured that for me

Bryce standing up to Wardlow and then Wardlow's face as he backed away lol

Jesus this is amazing

Cole's back! Now please stay intact for a while

SCREAMING

New look MJF variant!

Aww MJF got to say fuck, good for him

...just realized I halfway thought the Gunns had doge memes on their gear

THE JUICE IS LOOSE

I wish I could feel something other than apathy for Serena Deeb.

I continue to love everything about Mariah May and her involvement in this storyline

Okay Trent is using a different song and now my psychic damage is slightly lessened

Return of the Pixies!

Rocky with the jacket I'm gonna cry 😢

At least they're not d4s

BRYAN KEITH ON A PPV CONGRATS TO US ALL

Idc Bryan Keith involved in anything is a major win for me

WTF DID THE TABLE LEGS GO THROUGH THE FUCKING TABLE JESUS CHRIST

Accidental strap match thanks to Mox's arm wrap

TAKESHITA DOING THE DEATH RIDER AAAA

BROOD BROOD BROOD BROOD

GOTH BLOOD PERVERT HOURS

JESUS CHRIST

Fuckign rude, Jesus is RIGHT THERE

GANGREL FUCK YES

TIME FOR MERCEDES AND WILLOW

Giant friendship bracelet!

Wait when did Taz get here? Was I so excited that I missed Taz?

That fucked so hard, I'm so happy for us all

Nooooooo I knew it was coming but noooo

Oh damn reminds me I've been wanting to rewatch The Warriors

Swerve in that Warriors gear is working for me on every level

Nooo Nana has done nothing wrong ever in his life

Swerve moves like a sexy big cat, I love him

The House Call is becoming one of my favorite finishers ever

So someone's getting set on fire right?

The fucking robes lol

FINAL COUNDOWN JONES

A FUCKING BUS?!

WAIT DARBY'S FACEMASKS HAS THUMBTACKS?!?!

TONY KHAN AGAIN?!?!?!

FLAMETHROWER'S BACK

EXPLODIKG CHAIR?!???

THUMBTACK SHOES

JESUS HE IS A PIÑATA

HOLY FUCK HE PINNED DANIELSON

Jesus christ what a night

[arcplaysgames]

And the biggest problem I have with P4G...

The main character.

I think the main character of Persona 4 is actively bad. And I think the game paints itself into a corner by making him so fucking boring and non-emotive and non-reactive. He is the opposite of a catalyst in a game that needs forward momentum.

This becomes painfully obvious in the mid-to-late game, around when the entire Namatame thing happens, but it's present for the entire thing. All of the emotional pushes come from other characters. Chie and Yukiko worried about each other, Kanji worried about Naoto, Teddie and Rise driving their arc forward. Because the P4MC can't drive anything everywhere. They are purely reactive in a plot structure that doesn't deal well with reactive protagonists.

(For comparison, see how P3P is structured.)

Yosuke is the real protagonist of P4G. And yes, in universe, I love how this manifests, how you can feel Yosuke taking on more and more responsibility through the game. He takes in Teddie, he leads the team to Namatame, he works with Naoto to solve the case. His anger is one of the primary thrusts of the plot, and if you removed him, the ENTIRE story would fall apart because the MC has nothing.

I am an unabashed stan of FeMC in P3P. I thought she was the perfect balance of a proxy for the player while also having a lot of forward momentum. Also!!! As mentioned in the last post, having the people around her in SEES having their own shit going on frankly alleviates the need for her to carry the whole story!

I appreciate that P4G let me have fun as the MC and gave me some fun chaos options. But the dull void of the MC has bothered me for literally half the game.

Like, compare Yosuke and P4MC with Junpei and FeMC. It's stupid, but I felt real fucking camaraderie with Junpei! I cared about him and I felt like he was my fucking wingman in all things! Which let the game pull that masterful trick when Junpei gets his crisis of self-esteem and turned his back on me for several in-game weeks, I really felt that! But as much as I like Yosuke and P4MC, that exact same plot would not work with Yosuke because P4MC is just not enough of a character to pull it off.

Also, I will be a total asshole for a second. Why the fuck are you only allowed to be a boy in P4? It's actively asinine and if you are gonna make the MC such a blank slate, you can at least give me a blank slate with different fuckign pronouns. Nothing is gained from making P4MC a boy except to reaffirm the idea that Boys Are Default.

In a perfect world, Atlus would make the Persona 6 protagonist gender neutral. Just don't use gendered terms at all! Let the player decide who the fuck they are!

(MAN i am sad thinking about Junpei talking to FeMC like she's One of the Boys. I literally loved that shit so much.)

But yeah, I... did not like the P4MC and as a writer, I can feel the way the story struggles against the void of his existence and presence and how other characters have to compensate for those deficencies. Which becomes even more galling when the game tries to convince me what a cool and excellent guy he is.

SIGHS

Anyway. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time with P4G despite all my complaints. Persona 3 Portable Girl Route is just the better game.

[ivy-is-fine]

WARNING: long vent underneath; mostly self deprecation so be mindful of that if you decide to read

chat I’m genuinely tweaking out so fucking bad rn I just spent like an hour and half making a custom Minecraft skin and then I accidentally hit something that destroyed all of my progress, RIGHT BEFORE I DOWNLOADED IT YALL I GONNA EXPLODE I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE SO UPSET OVER SIMETHING STUPID AND POINTLESS AND SMALL AS THIS BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM GOING TO CRY AND THEN I DONT KNOW THROW A HAT AT THE GROUND YALL IT LOOKED SO GOOD I LOVED IT AND THEN I FUCKING RUINED IT ILL NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE IT THE SAME EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, JUST HOW I WANTED IT TO BE. I KNOW I CAN JUST MAKE ANOTHER AND BE MORE CAREFUL BUT THAT WILL TAKE SO MUCH MORE TIME AND IT WAS SO TEDIOUS THAT TO SPEND MORE TIME WOULD MAKE THE EXPERIENCE EVEN WORSE. CHAT. CHAT IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND. AND I KNOW IM ONLY SO EMOTIONAL OVER THIS BECAUSE ITS HOT AND MISERABLE AND IM OVERSTIMULATED AND THERES SOMETHING WRONG GOING ON IN MY BODY THATS MADE ME LOSE THE WILL TO EAT AND I HATE MYSELF AND EXISTING FEELS GROSS AND I HAVE NO ENERGY SO NOW IM CRYING JUST AS BAD OVER THIS STUPID, POINTLESS THING AS I DID WHEN MY FUCKING CAT DIED. IM NOT READY FOR THIS SCHOOL YEAR, IM GOING TO BE MISERABLE AND BURNED OUT AND I FEEL LIKE MY BEST FRIENDS DONT LIKE ME EVEN THOUGH I KNOW RATIONALLY THAT THEY DO BUT IM SCARED THAT THEIR OPINIONS OF ME ARE STARTING TO SOUR AND THAT THEYLL LEAVE ME BEHIND JUST AS EVERYONE DOES. GOD IM SO AWKWARD WITH PEOPLE NOBODY LIKES ME I CAN TELL AND I DONT TALK ABOUT ANYTHING INTERESTING OR KNOW ANGTHING ABOUT CARS AND TRUCKS LIEK EVERYONE I EXIST WITH. IM USELESS, I DONT HAVE A JOB, I DONT KNOW HOW TO MOW LAWN OR WEEDWACK OR DRIVE A TRACTOR. IM A WORTHLESS HUMAN WITH ZERO TALENT, ALL I CAN DO IS MAKE USELESS FUCKING ART AND WRITE USELESS FUCKING ESSAYS ABOUT USELESS FUCKING TOPICS. IM SO FUCKING WORTHLESS MY PARENTS SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT FROM THE START, I COULDNT EVEN EAT FUCKIGN RIGHT. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF, I HATE BEING A PICKY AND SLOW EATER ITS FUCKING EMBARRASSING I HATE BEING UNDERWEIGHT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WEAK AND I HATE BEING WEAK BECAUSE IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE USLESS AND EMBARRASSING. I HATE MY SKINNY FUCKING WRISTS AND THE NAUSEA THAT CONSTANTLY STIRS IN MY GUT. I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING OVERBITE AND THE HERBST APPLICATION IN MY FACE TO FIX IT AND I HATE MY CURLY HAIR THAT I DKNT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF PROPERLY BECAUSE IT LOOKS STUPID AND MY SWEATY ASS PALMS THAT LEAVE MARKS ON THE FUCKING TABLES ARE AWFUL I HATE IT IT MAKES ME FEEL GROSS I WISH I KNEW HOW TO ACT IN PUBLIC I WISH I KNEE WHAT INCOULD DONTHAT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY BUT I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE WOULD FUNCTION BETTER WITHOUT ME. I WANT TO BE A PART OF SOCIETY BUT I NEVER KNOW HOW TO ACT, I DONT KNOW WHEN SOMEONE CANT TOLERATE ME. PEOPLE SCARE ME TOO EASILY I WANT TO STAY IN MY ROOM WHERE NO ONE HAS TO SEE ME. I WANT TO SMASH MY HEAD AGAINT A WALL, MAYBE ITLL MAKE ME NORMAL. GOD I CANT FUCKING STAND IT ANYMORE PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION NORMALLY, HOW TO MAKNTAIN A HEALTHY WEIGHT, HELL, HOW TO HAVE AN APPETITE. I CONSTANTLY FEEL SICK AND RECENTLY IVE BEEN FEELING SO DETACHED FROM REALITY THAT I CAN HARDLY REGISTER ANY WORDS SPOKEN TO ME AND NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING IMPORTANT ANYWAYS LIKE HOW I WAS THE LAST TO KNOW WHERE MY FUCKING CAT GOT BURIED??? NO ONE SEEMED TO FEEL LIEK THAT WA SIMPIRTSNT ENOUGH TO TELL ME!!! IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE EXPECTS EM TO KNOW STUFF WITHOUT HAVING TO BE TOLD BUT INDONT KNOW!!! I NEVER FUCKING KNOW!! I DOTN KNOW ANHTHING OTHER THAN USELESS PIECES OF TRIVIA THAT WILL NEVER BE USED ANYWHERE AT ALL. UGH I FEEL SO ILL, HUNGRY YET SICK AT THE SAME TIME. STARVING WITH NO DESIRE TO EAT. I KNOW ILL DIE, IM ALWAYS ON THE EDGE WITH DEATH, WAVING ACROSS THE STREET AT EACH OTHER. I DONT WANT TO BE SKINNY. I WANT TO EAT AND BE HEALTHY. BUT I CANT. I DONT KNOW WHY I CANT. I HAVE ACCESS TO FOOD AT ALL TIMES, THERES NOTHING STOPPING ME. I CAN HEAR MY STOMACH BUDDLE AND I CAN FEEL THE HUNGER PANGS BUT THEY DONT SEEM TO TRANSMIT TO MY BRAIN. MY MEMORY IS FAILING ME MORE AND MORE MY THE MINUTE, I CAN FEEL MYSELF

DETERIORATING. GOD IM SO SICK OF THIS THIS GAME ISNT FUN ANYMORE BUT I DONT WANT TO QUIT. ITS HARD BEING THE MEDIATOR, THE LIGHTHEARTED JOKESTER WHO DIFFUSES THE SITUATION AND REMAINS COOL AND CALM. IT FUCKING SUCKS AND I GET WALKED ALL OVER ALL THE TIME.

AND I KNOW THERES MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS WHO HAVE IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES WORSE THAN ME, BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT LIVING SUCKS. MY BRACES AND HERBST MAKE MY FACE ACHE AND MY KNEES HURT WHEN HIGH PRESSURE SYSTEMS COME IN AND IM SLOW AND DONT PROVIDE ANYTHING FOR A TEAM. MY ARMS FEEL WEAK ALL THE TIME AND MY BRAIN FEELS LIKE AN EMPTY CHAMBER WITH SOME GUNK AND COBWEBS SLOSHING AROUND. GOD IM SO TIRED. EVERY PART OF MY BODY IS TIRED, IM EXHAUSTED THROUGH TO MY BONES AND BACK.

THERES NO GOOD WAY TO CONCLUDE THIS, AND IM SORRY IF YOUVE READ THIS THROUGH(OR AT ALL).

[fenriskisser]

vent 2.0 More suicide tw Ignore a million times

WHY CANT THEY STOP TALKING TO ME i hate my family i hate them so much everythign they say to me either fills me with anger and just makes me want to sob and its not even like its not even fucked up shit it's EVERYTHING. everything they say makes me feel so horrible and they never stop they never leave me alone why can't theyvleave me alone

i dont want to die alone i dont want to die alone i really don't i know i deserve it but i don'twsnt to i know im going to i dont want to be alone im sickcof it im sick of being alone constantly i hate it i hate it why cant people love me i dont deserve it but i want it please im so sick of it please god i just want someone to like me

god imso fuckign hideous WHATS WRONG WITH ME i hateveverything about myself its so ffucking bad everything i do is bad everything i say is wrong evrry action i take everything i do and make and everything about its never good i just want to be good WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

i hate myself i hate everything about me there's nothing redeeming about me i wish there was

im dead im dead im dead im dead im dead god i just want to die i dont know ehy i dont do it (thats a lie i know exactly why lol) im such a fucking pussy im not even scared of the pain I DON'T CARE but what if i regret it? i want to die but im so scared what if i don't want to what if im wrong. it feels like the only good answer really i think it would be the one single good choice i'vebsmade no one would judge me if i did they'd understand they'd go Okim glad it happened there was never any other option. better he die now than keep living in misery and drag usball down with him and i would say nothing because i am dead and i know they're just telling thw truth so its ok i understand i really do i know it's true but im so scared what if i regret it what if i really don't want to die

i dont want to be alone im sick of it i dont want to die alone i swear to god I DO i want to die so bad but what if i dont but i do but i dont know what i want i cant make decisions for myself i know i'll jsut fuck it up im too stupid why cant someone just do it for me why cant someone tell me i can? what happens if i regret it thoufh i'll just die I'LL JUST DIE alone and miserable like always and i'll just ddie alone and cry and know i made a mistake but i can't go back because i cant go to the hospital are you crazy they'll judge me they'll think im disgusting and i know i am but i don't want to know i don't want them to think that of me im doing my best But not really?