#i desperately need to get it tested and have a number in front of me to attest to how bad food service fucked me up

[feedtheriver]

every now and then my bad ear pops and i can experience what it's like to fully and clearly hear for a few days before i inevitably lose it again

[meltinghun]

Complicated ; Jean-Pierre Magnan.

summary; since the start of the school year, Jean-Pierre and reader have competed with each other for the first place on everything, that is until reader starts to neglect herself.

warnings: fem!reader, ANGST!!!, fluff, swearing, academic enemies-to-lovers, feelings of failure, reader has a shitty family AND doesn't take care of her health (dead dove do not eat? idk?), canon typical misogyny, they're so mean but they like each other (i promise!!).

w/c: 2.8k

author note: i want to thank everyone who encouraged me to keep writting, your comments made me blush and giggle so hard, omg!!!! <3

I got stuck in this o.s for more than a month because I really liked the idea but I wasn't convinced on how it was turning out, but anyways, I had to upload something after being inactive for so long lmao.

The latin teacher handed each student their graded exams, occasionally throwing back handed comments when he saw necessary, visibly enjoying the defeated faces of the students that didn't receive a satisfactory grade.

With an audible sigh, he extended the paper towards Y/N, shaking his head to emphatise his dissaprovement.

"You were the only reason as to why I was starting to believe that it was a good idea to integrate girls to the school." He raised his eyebrows. "But I'm starting to regret it."

The loud comment reverberated on the walls and hurt her ears, making her shrink in her seat with embarrassment when the big red 7/20 was placed in front of her. When the professor continued walking around, she heard a subtle chuckle coming from the left, turning her head in that direction. Founding a pair of big green eyes already staring at her in amusement.

"And I'm starting to believe that, after all, you are not a threat at all." A small smirk painted his face before continuing. "Maybe you fooled all of us into believing that you were actually smart, but I guess you aren't at all."

Her throat closed at the same time that she felt the need to throw up, she didn't knew what was wrong with her, she stayed up late studying for the tests, wrote her own resumes and even recited them out loud to try and memorize it, but no matter what she tried, the formulas didn't seem to stick to her brain, the numbers and symbols seemed like the exact same thing and confused them with each other and even the words of her history homework seemed to be written on a foreign language. She felt like a failure ever since her parents started to demand even better grades than she already had, spending her days and nights studying and having little to almost no sleep at all, investing all her time into trying to regain her star student position.

She was exhausted, sometimes even getting to the point of hallucinating things from the lack of rest, but convincing herself that she didn't deserve it until her parents were more than proud of her. And that seemed so far away.

Blinking away the tears, she tried to keep up with her facade, "Maybe you should start to mind your own business, Magnan." She managed to spat through gritted teeth.

"And that's where you're wrong, again." She groaned in annoyance. "See, when something makes you feel miserable, it is completly of my business because it makes me feel amazing."

She took a sharp inhale, and before she could say something, the sound of the bell indicating the start of reccess pierced the air. Rapidly, she gathered her belongings and almost sprinted out of the classroom, earning a severe reprimend from the teacher that she didn't care enough to hear.

"Miss L/N!" He made an offended sound. "Women, they are so sensitive... That's why they don't belong here."

She made a straight path towards the teachers restrooms, and only after locking the door did she allowed herself to let out a choked sob. The tears falling down and making a mess everywere, a hand coming up her face to try to muffle her desperate cries.

She really didn't know what was wrong with her.

Maybe she was the problem.

Everything came down like a ton of bricks falling on her, from the pressure of trying to be a role model for her family, to the hurtful words of Jean-Pierre that striked a nerve. Usually it wouldn't bother her that much and instead she would have a comeback ready to throw at him, but lately that wasn't the case, the highlights of her day used to be the moments were they started bickering at each other, sharing defying looks and victorius smirks in the way. She awaited those moments so eagerly.

But now she was lacking the strength to think on a smart jab to get right back at him, and even when she did manage to come up with something, it didn't bring her any satisfaction at all like it used to. Instead, she just felt drained.

Once again, the bell rang indicating to everyone that the classes resumed once again, but rather of getting out of her little hiding spot, she just stayed there, not feeling ready to face yet another deception.

Nor face again those mesmerizing green eyes.

A sharp headache made her wince slighty, she's been having them since a few days ago, sometimes were more powerful than others and today it seemed like one of the days were she felt like digging out her brain out of her head. She splashed some water on her face and looked at the mirror, looking away almost immediately when she took note of how sick she looked.

Opening the door, she carefully made her way to the infirmary, thinking to herself that some minutes with the school's nurse could excuse her absence in the class. A sudden feeling of dizziness caused by the sudden movement almost made her trip over, but before it happened, a strong hand took hold of her arm, keeping her from falling.

"What is wrong with you? Where the hell were you?" Jean-Pierre gave her a severe look that harbored his concern.

"I already told you to mind your own business." With all the strength she could muster, she pushed herself free out of his hold, the anger bubbling on her veins. "I don't owe you nothing, so get out of my sight and leave me the fuck alone. You would do me a great fucking favor."

Her harsh words left him completly dumbfounded, never before had she talked to him like that, even on the days when he annoyed her out of her mind. He saw how she moved towards the stairs, holding tightly onto the rails; moving closer to her hunched form, he felt the sudden and desperate need to ask her what was the problem, if he could help her in any way.

"I'm here against my will, Miss Couret sent me to look out for you." Was the only thing that came out of his mouth. "She was worried because she didn't saw you at recess, even more when you weren't at the classroom."

The lie slipped off naturally from him. Miss Couret didn't sent him to look out for her, he scaped class by coming up with some excuse about needing to ask something important about his latin competence, the truth was that he was the one who worried about her absence. But she didn't need to know that tiny detail.

Jean-Pierre would never admit it out loud, but he saw the drastic change on his rival's attitude, and it got him concerned. He would secretly listen to conversations of her friends that involved Y/N herself as a main topic, that's how he got to know how strict her parents were with her and it made his stomach churn with worry.

The weird thing was, he really didn't know why he cared so much, neither why he couldn't stop thinking about her. She was the first thing on his mind when he waked up, thinking about new ways to annoy her and have her total attention on him, he thought about her on the afternoon while doing homework, wondering if she managed to do the excersices better that him, and she was also his last thought before dozing up to sleep, anxiously waiting for the morning to come to do that rutine all over again.

He really didn't knew why.

A grip on his sleeve made him stop on his tracks and turn his torso towards her, his free hand instinctively coming up to rest it on her forearm.

"I think I will pass up." She mumbled with a lost look on her eyes. "If you let me fall, I will kill you, Magnan."

And not even a second later, everything turned black to her.

- - - - - - - - - -

The fist thing she noticed was the slight smell of pine blending up with the strong one coming out of the medicines, a small sigh leaving her lips before opening her eyes, stumbling almost immediately with the image of Jean-Pierre sitting beside the bed she was lying, and from what she could see, he was engrossed with a latin book.

Her heart raced and a hundred thoughts per second invaded her head. He could've left her with the nurse to come back to class, why was her still there? Was he waiting for her to wake up? But also, what if he was only there to be the first one to laugh at her? The questions overwhelmed her inmensely, so she decided to ask first the important ones.

"How long have I've been unconsious?" The sudden sound of her voice making him shot his head up, she could swore he almost looked relieved.

"I, uhm... Here, I bet you are thirsty." He cleared his voice before handing her a cup of water. "It wasn't for that long, just a couple hours. The school's over in less than forty minutes, so we can go home anytime."

She emitted a groan. "No wonder why I feel like I slept for years, I missed the whole day!" Leaving the cup on the bedside table, she glanced quickly around the nursery. "Where's Mrs. Bellanger?"

"Some kid was playing too hard and broke his arm in the process, she told me to keep an eye on you while she took him to the hospital." He paused, momentarily doubting if he should keep going. "She also told me that you passed out due to a huge lack of sleep and a possible unbalanced diet. Tell me, did you thought that it was smart? To harm yourself in order to have the acceptance of some idiots who can't see your real value? It's not worth it if you end up like this."

As if it were an habit, her eyes got teary, losing the count on how many times she cried on the day. It bothered her so much, even more that it was happening in his presence. For a moment, he almost sounded so consternated... But either way, she wouldn't tolerate being scolded like a kid.

"Excuse you?" She exclaimed, an evident frown on her face.

"Don't try to play dumb. You know what I mean."

"Oh, so you want to know why? I'm the first granddaughter, the first niece, the first child, the older sister... It's obvious that I have to make some sacrifices, even if it's at my own expense. After all, everyone expects so much more from me." The words came out slower than before and full of venom. "Yes, it may not be really healthy, but I push myself because it's the only way to make them proud of me, and it's something that I believed you would understand, Magnan."

"And you are not wrong, I do understand you." He took a few seconds before saying his next words. "That's why I don't want you to pressure yourself to be someone that you aren't, I know what it's like to be pressured by your parents -..."

"No, you don't. You don't know how my parents are!" She interrupted him. "You don't know how it is to be belittled when you don't achieve something worthy of their interest, you don't know how its like to feel proud of yourself because you thought that you finally did something right just to find out that you failed again, or to spend every second of the day studying, priving yourself of having a social life just to feel miserable at the end of the day. And you definitely don't know how it's like to live your whole life without knowing if your family even likes you."

She didn't know when she started to cry, much less in what moment Jean-Pierre got close enough to wrap her in a tight embrace. But suddenly, she felt like the constant emptiness in her chest was being filled with something much greater than a temporary stability brought by false acceptance, it was an unknown warm and fuzzy feeling that made her anguish vanish away. It felt like that was all she needed throughout her life.

They pulled apart slowly, his hands immediately went to her face to wipe away any traces left of tears on her cheeks, and they stood there, looking at each others eyes, feeling as if they were frozen in time. 

"I may not understand entirely, but I can learn how to." He murmured. "I really want to understand you."

"But why would you bother?" She asked, confused and desperate to know. "Since the moment we met, the only thing we do is argue, we hate each other!... I tried to hurt you so many times and you have done the same to me, so please, make me understand, why would you want to help me? Why do you care?"

"Because I care about you, deeply." The words came out breathless, his eyes trying to desperately find her gaze. "I really don't know how to describe what I feel, but I do know that every time I see you, my heart goes crazy, and sometimes I wonder if it will come the day where it's going to jump out of my chest to go chasing after you. I know that every time you laugh with another person, I wish with all my soul to, someday, be worthy enough to be the cause of your smile. But I do know that if I hated you, really did, I would be happy for your downfall, but I'm not, because I can't force me to act as if I don't care about you, not anymore."

Jean-Pierre wasn't a man or words. All his life he struggled to express his feelings, but this time, it was different.

"One of the things I admire you for is the way that you don't never give up, it doesn't matter how many times I get a slighty better mark, you study harder until beating me up the next time we have an exam. You are resilient, and so damn smart that it makes me feel jealous sometimes, because I wish I could have a little bit of the determination that you possess, and I can't comprehend why you focus on your non existing flaws and ignore all your strenghts."

"I never thought..." She began with a whisper, attempting to make a joke in order to not break down completely. "I never thought that someone could ever think that highly of me, not even you."

"How could I not? You are the most incredible person I ever met, Y/N."

A violent sob reverberated on the nursery walls, and before she could even feel shame for shattering that easily due to the sweetest words she ever heard, she found herself on Jean-Pierre's hold once again.

It felt like they spend a lifetime in that embrace, hearing nothing more than the rapid beats of their hearts and sharing everything they didn't had the courage to say out loud, not yet. Squeezing the hug one last time before breaking away, she dried her face with the sleeves of her blouse, his adoring eyes never leaving her.

"Now, what? What's next from this point?" Fearfully, she asked.

"Now... I will walk you home." Seeing her confused frown, he added rapidly. "If you want to be the number one, you have to be better than me, and the first step to achieve that is to sleep well and eat some real food. You have to take care of yourself, then we will work on the rest."

"We? You will help me beating you up?"

"I want to help you to become a better version of yourself. If that costs me becoming the second of the class, then so be it."

He extended his arm in her direction, encouraging her to hold it. Slowly, she got up from the bed and hooked their arms together.

"I must admit that my home is far away and I came walking today, so you can still back down if you want."  

"Only a fool could reject such offering."

She exhaled a shaky breath, never expecting that answer. As they made their way towards the door, a sudden question hitted her.

"How did you know about my problem with my family?"

"I accidentally overheard a conversation, I didn't realise it was about you until they named you." An overwhelming warmth creeping up his face.

"Of course, 'accidentally'."

"Shut up." His reddening cheeks and the obvious attempt of a lie didn't went unnoticed, earning a light giggle from the girl.

That fluttery sensation came back to her. She never thought that it would be possible to feel this smitten over someone, even if she still struggled to admit it. While the boy couldn't stop thinking of how fortunate he felt in those moments, with the person he couldn't stop dreaming about holding onto him and walking her home for the first time, and hopefully not last. The warm breeze of the spring surrounding them as they made their way out of the school between laughs and jokes, secretly wishing to have more moments like this one in the future.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Tressym can be Fickle

WORDS: 692 RATING: G PAIRING: Gale x Tav SUMMARY: based on a very real arguement between my husband & I on who our cat likes more.

It had been a long, arduous, grueling day at the academy.

Though Gale loved his new role as a professor and educator, teaching the young minds of witches & wizards all across Faerun to harness their magic, induction week was the worst. He felt his life was in less peril fighting the Elder Brain or any of their other enemies & cohorts along the Sword Coast than he was now. Testing the new inductees to file them accordingly to their skill. ‘Skill’ being a very loose word tossed around this week.

He returned home that evening with a heavy sigh through the door, an even heavier thud of his satchel filled with books, and a desperate need to be tended to by his spouse. The whole day had been about soothing the egos, feelings, and on occasion literal wounds of new students that Gale thought he deserved some tending to now.

“Tav?” He called out as he put his cloak away. Usually, they greeted him at the door. Or at least acknowledged him when he came home. Curious, Gale walked through the house to try and find them. His search not long as he came upon Tav in the living room. On the couch by a low fire, with Tara on their lap. “Well….don’t you two look cozy.”

“Hmm, we rather are Mr. Dekarios.” Tara agreed. “Or at least we were, until someone started shouting.”

“Apologies for shouting in my own house.” Gale snipped at Tara. Taking his own plush armchair across from them. “Since when did you become a lap cat? And, before you get too ruffled under the feathers, it’s a figure of speech.”

Tara hummed. Seeming to debate about not letting it go but was perhaps indeed to comfortable to make a fuss. “Very recently I suppose. I never had an interest until now.” The tressym purred with her eyes closed as she tilted her head up towards Tav and her head scratches.

“You never took an interest with me.” Gale said with a deep frown.

“You do not have nails, Mr. Dekarios.”

The wizard growled and stood up. Unable to watch his dearest friend and lover betray him like this in front of his own eyes. It was still early for dinner but he stalked off towards the kitchen to focus his frustrations on what to eat.

A few moments later, Tav came in. Looking confused on why he was so upset. “Sorry.” He apologized quickly. “It’s just been a long day. And I am glad that you and Tara are getting along now. Guess I’m being….overly sensitive at being shut out. Tressym can be fickle, but I’ve never known Tara to change her mind about anyone. Again, not that I’m not pleased you two are getting along. I just never thought I would suddenly be second in her estimation.”

“Suddenly second? Please Mr. Dekarios.” The couple turned to see Tara trot in. Seeming interested in their conversation. “I wouldn’t say that you were suddenly second. Not given my high esteem of your mother. A better estimate is which one of you is second on the day, and who is third.”

“Really Tara? Kick a man while he’s down??”

“But, I’m a reasonable creature. Perhaps my estimations can be over swayed. Perhaps with a bit of chicken? Fried pigeons if you have any?”

“So a creature of reason but not honor, eh?” Gale stated, with a wave of his hand as if he wish to brush away this whole conversation.

Before he could leave, Tav wrapped their arms around his waist. Pulling him close. The smell of their hair in his nose. Something like ‘you’ll always be number 1 to me’ muffled into his chest, which causes him to smile and hold them back.

They tell Gale to go upstairs and relax. Take a bath if he liked, while they made dinner. That sounded heavenly, so he did just that.

When he came back down, he was not amused by the roast chicken on his plate. Nor the grinning little tressym in the corner, licking her chops like she’d just swallowed a canary. Or, perhaps, her bribery chicken.

[euijoosorangeslice]

Story of a College Succubus p.2

wrnings: masturbation, getting caught, public boners, nudes ( and the leaking of them)

You returned to pottery class, but this time Jake seemed antsy around you. "Is everything okay, Jakey?" You asked, smiling softly at the puppy-featured boy. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. Let's just finish up your piece." He guided your hands again, smiling nervously into your neck. "Y-you've got the rest from here right?" He muttered, pulling away from you. "Wait, what? Are you not going to help me finish? You just said you would!" His brain started churning violently, thinking of his wet dream with you in it last night. "I'll help you finish in maybe a different way." He wished he had the confidence to say something like that.

"I...I uh need to use the bathroom. Be right back." He rushed off, but not before you noticed that he had a large boner in the front of his pants. His friend snickered, smiling at you. "Hey Y/n. I could help you finish your vase. Heeseung, by the way. Nice to meet you." You smiled happily, letting him teach you verbally instead of physically to guide your learning.

-

Jake rushed into the stall, swinging open the door in panic and quickly slamming it behind him. He sat on the closed toilet seat, pulling down his pants. He leaned back, stroking his dick in the cold room air. He spit into his palm, pressing it against his cock and moaning. "Fuck, Y/n. Such a pretty face." He whimpered, his eyes shut imagining you.

-

As Heeseung was assisting you with taking your vase to the kiln, you felt a weird frequency in your abdomen. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. It felt the same as last night, and you shut your eyes in pain. In the darkness, you could see Jake leaned against the wall in the bathroom with his shirt in his mouth, fucking his palm. "F-fuck ugh.." He mumbled into his shirt, bucking his hips and moaning. Shit, if you could see this then that means he was jerking off to you. Powers are cool!

"You alright?" He asked, you nodding. "Yeah, sorry. Just deep in thought." You responded with a smile. The teacher dismissed the class, so you started to leave. Until you noticed Jake had left his bag in the classroom. You grabbed it for him and walked out with Heeseung.

You two headed to the canteen to grab a snack. You walked into the canteen seeing a lot of new faces. "Hey, Y/n? Want to sit with me?" He offered, you thinking about the offer. High chance of collecting high sexual desire and energy, so why not?

-

Jake came into his fist, panting in pleasure. In that same second, someone opened the door to the bathroom. Jakes eyes shot open, and so did the boy who walked in. "F-fuck! Nicholas? Oh god don't d-don't look." He shouted, Nico still standing idle. "Jake? Why the hell are you jerking off in the school bathroom!?" He scolded, Jake pulling up his pants and quickly tightening his belt. "Sorry, just really had to rub one out." He mumbled, sliding out of the bathroom and heading to his room immediately.

-

You enjoyed your meal with Heeseung, and you two even exchanged numbers. You strolled the halls for a little while, until you got an idea. Of course it wouldn’t be too hard to collect sexual energy from college girls and boys, but there was an easy way. Guys get off to nudes, so if you sent Heeseung or Jake some they’d probably jerk of to it enough to keep you fed for a while.

First, you decided to test the waters.

you: jakeyyyy

i have a little surprise for you

want to see smth?

jake: yes

fuck that sounded desperate

don’t think im like a loser or smth k

you: that’d be rude of me to judge baby

and here’s a gift for all your help jakey

you: sent 1 attachment

jake: wow

beautiful body

uh here’s me I guess?

jake: sent 1 attachment

Aw, he really was cute. Now let’s see how much energy you’ll gain from that. So you continued on campus going to your classes and by the end of the day? You felt full for at least a couple days. Actually, oddly full. This couldn’t be the energy of just one guy with a 4 inch cock.

You checked your phone, seeing messages from guys at your school.

thanks for the ass pics, slut

nice tits

you could sit on my face and id thank you

fuck let me call you mommy

You immediately cringed. Jake had leaked your nudes, and your powers could show you everyone who was beating their shit to your photo right now. Great.

People stared all over campus, and when you were entering the dorm buildings, a man was walking behind you. “Hey, Y/n?” You turned around to a sexy looking guy with headphones and glasses on. “Dude, i think i should let you know your uh…spicy photos are getting leaked. Almost everyone on campus has seen it.” You sighed in annoyance, feeling embarrassed. “Thank you, but i already sort of know that. I appreciate your honesty.”

“No problem. I’m Nicholas. Sorry about all…this. The guys on our football team are no good, so i suggest avoiding them.” He smiled, fiddling with his hoodie strings. “Anyway, i have to get to class. Talk to you later?” You smiled, sending him on his way. Now you had to deal with confronting Jake.

-

You knocked on his dorm door angrily, him slowly opening the door. “Shit, u-um hi y/n.” He whispered guilty, you pushing past him. “Fuck you, you coward! Did you seriously think I would be okay with you showing everyone my god damn nudes?” He panicked, stepping backwards slowly. “I’m super sorry. I just was looking at them and my friend wanted to see them and i felt bad saying no!”

You grit your teeth in annoyance, grabbing Jake by his collar. He noticed how your eyes were flickering orange, and it scared the shit out of him. “ You couldn’t say no? Of FUCKING course you couldn’t. You could barely wipe your ass if I asked you to.” You shouted, his roommate Heeseung exiting his room at the noise. “You know what? This conversation is over. Fuck you and your tiny little dick.” You dropped him, leaving the dorm and slamming the door behind you.

Heeseung just stared at him, chuckling. “Damn, she gave you the business.”

prev//next

[nicollekidman]

Waitttt please talk more about tashiart bc i see most ppl slander Art specifically even zendaya (which surprised me) but to me it was always art for tashi even when they first meet its clear she prefers art and wants his number, she wants art to win so badly because she wants their family but also because she wants to respect him

yeah i absolutely agree i think with the standard caveats that they all need each other in different ways and the beauty of the movie is it's up for interpretation etc etc etc

art and tashi have a different dynamic from the drop than tashi and patrick. patrick has the swagger and the bluster and he pushes at tashi like he pushes at art, but the way art chooses his words is much more careful (you screamed) and i think immediately pings to her that he has what she needs (discipline, awareness, insightfulness) in a very particular way that patrick doesn't. also i think it shouldn't be overlooked that she clocks in the hotel room that patrick is hung up on art even though art is focused on her, so i think her awareness of patrick's emotional unavailability (as it were) colors her choices going forward. like... knowing that art is tuned into her and is malleable and willing, while patrick might have the fire but he's already not aligned with her (their) priorities and the Thing that separates them is confidence, not necessarily skill..... "you can beat him. you should beat him" is her choice and its also a test.

and like. he fails it in that moment because it's a test patrick is also participating in!! but patrick and tashi don't have enough between them to sustain them, they're all bark and no real bite because he's not serious or disciplined enough to be a viable partner for her, even before she needs a surrogate. they clearly have a lot of spark but you can't sustain that. she likes when patrick pushes her but she doesn't respect him.

fast forward to 13 years of marriage.......... i get that people have the impulse to say that tashi only loves tennis or tashi can't love art because he's a lapdog or they want her to be a girlboss or whatever but like. those two deeply want/need each other it's just much more difficult for her to communicate that kind of connection than it is with patrick because patrick is simpler. he doesn't demand anything form her really, besides her anger and her body (occasionally), and both of them still exist as teenagers with endless potential in his mind, which is safe. but art is demanding everything from her, even as he's reciprocating by giving her literally every piece of himself, the way he nursed her through her injuries and she his means that like. she can't hide anywhere. so like they're not verbalizing things the same way patrick does, but the devotion is there. she never ever stops telling art he can beat patrick, and when she's not sure, she begs patrick to lose so that there's never any danger of her having to make that choice.

and like. i think art and tashi could be happy without tennis, but i think the point is that she doesn't know because they've never had to try, and even the possibility that she'd lose it all if art doesn't have it in him is enough to make her humble herself in front of patrick. which she has no reason to do unless she wants to keep him. like. they've built an entire life together, she's built art into who he is but that's a two-way process. and they end up inviting patrick back into the fold which enriches their lives and gives them the boost they need but ultimately it's still them inviting patrick into the life they've built together. i don't think it's a happy ending or really a story at all unless you think tashi loves art desperately.

[lostonmyroad]

Moments That I Want Tattooed On My Forehead From S-Classes That I Raised Chapters 30-50

BEWARE OF SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

things are starting to get going. and by get going i mean starting to get unhinged but its still nothing compared to the shit going on by the 300s

chapter 30-40

lmfao yoojin forgetting he blocked yoohyun’s number...king shit

yoojin daring yoohyun to call him out on his suspicious behavior...also king shit 

chapters 40-50

let’s go sung hyunjae makes his debut!!!!

YOOHYUN ACTING INNOCENT IN FRONT OF YOOJIN AS HE MEETS THE GUILD LEADERS AKFJEIDIDOODSOOS highkey one of my favorite scenes ever. “my brother is more mild mannered than me” “yoohyun is an angel” everyone else in the room: press X to doubt

moon hyuna woman that you are. my beloved. you’re too good for this world 

i live for yoohyun generally being a freak about yoojin

i need to know what blackmail he has on moon hyuna. what happened at the convenience store????? moon hyuna what did you do???

thank u yerim and moon hyuna friendship. we love to see it. Now s ranks also passes the bechdel test!!

ah yes potion addict yoojin has arrived. rip buddy at least you get better flavors later down the line

it’s only chapter 44 and yoojin is already being overworked. true cale henituse moment. rip your slacker life!!!

everyone ganging up on him to start enforcing self care. oh honey it only gets worse from here!!!

so far yoojin is: a monster tamer, social media account manager, recruiter for hayeon, owns a building with a research lab…my guy was speedy with it

yoojin going "i just need to complete one (1) more task and then I can live like a slacker" in the early chapters is. oh wow. famous last words. truly need to learn from cale

even peace is a borderline freak when it comes to yoojin. doesn’t give a shit about anyone else 

YOOJIN ANSWERING SPAM CALLS JUST TO MESS WITH PEOPLE SKDJEIODO…he enjoys it…this explains so much about him…he’s bragging about how much experience he has answering them…

yoojin guessing who the kidnappers were because they didn’t call Peace cute is so valid. Anyone who doesn’t like Peace is an enemy

we’re starting to get into “oh wow fear resistance is kind of fucked territory”!!! yoojin is a little freak!!! he’s committing war crimes but sometimes it just be like that

rip blackie chapter 46-47 :(

yoojin treating the s ranks like normal people and them not knowing how to handle it ;((

GIVE YOOJIN HIS OSCAR NOW “uwu i’m a poor kidnapping victim” like sir. you dissolved your kidnappers in acid. sir. 

all the details about yoojin’s life as a low ranked hunter pre-regression :(((

like not yoojin casually mentioning he used to be an alcoholic and yoohyun sent him to rehab pre regression. ok king. we don’t have time to unpack all that

kang soyoung intro!!! i so desperately need to know what her deal was with yoohyun pre regression. why does yoojin think of her as his sister in law. why did everyone believe they were dating.

next chapter brings us a real introduction to sung hyunjae character of all time

[naughtyneganjdm]

A Trade Off

Summary: Desperate to finally get some sleep, Y/N goes to Joel in hopes of getting some pills to help her. 

Characters: Joel Miller & the reader (OC, third person)

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45693934

Warnings: Swearing, smut, cheating, a small amount of coercion, etc.

Notes: I kind of wrote this very quickly this morning. It’s a short little one-shot with no plot really just smut. So I hope you enjoy it. Y/N obviously means your name or whatever name you choose to use. 

Exhaustion had become a well-known friend for Y/N these days. To say she was lacking sleep would be an understatement. Between her fear of the infected and FEDRA working her to the bone, she couldn’t shut her brain down to get some sleep. The only form of relief she could get these days was the kind that came in the shape of a pill and she hoped she would be able to get the same thing again.

Heading through the narrow, damp hallways of the apartment building she was in, she was praying that Joel or Tess would be home. The smugglers that were known on the streets to help get you anything that you needed. A few times in the past they had given her samples to test out their stash of medication. Joel more times than Tess. Tess was strict on how much she was willing to hand out, while Joel had been a little more understanding and lenient with her.

Stopping before their door, she knocked once and heard nothing on the other end. Waiting, she knew that she should have just turned around, but she was so tired and she knew that she needed some help. Knocking harder this time, she heard a grumble at the other end followed by the sound of something falling over behind the door.

“Dammit, I’m coming,” Joel’s deep voice rumbled making her thankful to know that he was actually home. She didn’t realize just how desperate she actually was to get some sleep. When the door pulled open, she felt her throat go dry seeing Joel’s dark eyes falling upon her. His arm rest against the doorframe while his other hand clung tightly to the door. “What is it?”

“I’m sorry for bothering you, but I was hoping that you could help me with something,” she whispered looking down the hallways making sure that they were alone. With a grumble, Joel held the door open further for her allowing her into the apartment. Once she entered, she waited at the center of the living room area while Joel limped into the room. With his disheveled appearance, she assumed that meant that he was sleeping when she knocked. “I’ve been having some trouble sleeping lately…”

“We all have trouble sleeping,” Joel scoffed, folding his arms out in front of his chest while he waited to hear directly what it was that she wanted. “What are you looking for?”

“I was hoping to get a few pills to help me sleep,” she pushed her hands into her pockets knowing that she felt she was doing something shady coming to Joel to get medication that only he and Tess were capable of getting.

“Okay, but you have to pay for them. No more freebies,” Joel reached back to caress his fingers over the back of his neck and then up through his messy hair making her nod her head. She knew that was coming. There was only so many free samples that she would be able to get. “How many did you want?”

“I don’t know, ten?” she came up with a random number making Joel’s eyes narrow out at her before nodding. Joel headed into a different room leaving her to herself to eye over the things in their apartment before she cleared her throat. “Where is Tess?”

“She’s on a supply run,” Joel’s southern drawl called out from the other room making her swallow down hard. Joel returned with a bag of something and when he stepped before her she couldn’t help but eye over the ruggedly good looking man that had drawn her eye on more than one occasion. “We’re running low on some things, so she’s out there getting it for us.”

Clearing her throat, she saw Joel hold the bag up and she gave him a nod, “I can’t give you the bag, so whatever you take you have to carry in your pocket.”

“How much are they?” she reached inside her pocket to pull out her ration cards making Joel shrug his shoulders.

“For ten hydro? Fifty rations,” Joel answered hearing her let out an overwhelmed sound when she counted what she had. When she counted it and realized she didn’t have enough, she raised her stare up at him to see Joel shrug.

“I only have forty-five and I still need to eat,” she reasoned with Joel who simply shook his head, his stare cold showing that he wasn’t breaking on the price.

“Forty-five gets you nine,” Joel pointed out with a bob of his head, lowering the bag at his side. “I can’t give you any breaks here Y/N. Tess is paying attention to our inventory here and I can’t be handing out any more samples for you.”

“I thought they were two a piece before,” she thought back to when Tess tried selling her more of the pills in the past and she turned them down knowing that she wanted to save her money to live better, but there would be no living at this point if she didn’t finally sleep.

“Low inventory, price goes up. So they are five a piece now,” Joel declared with another shrug of his shoulders. Y/N was taking her time to try to figure out what she should get and Joel dramatically exhaled. “Listen, are you going to get any or not?”

“I guess I’ll go with five,” she knew how much money she had and knew that she still needed to have enough to make it through her normal life as well. Hopefully with five, it would help reset her system and get her to start sleeping again. Joel started to open the bag before thinking something over and closing the bag back up to put them in his pocket. “What is it?”

“You really want those ten?” Joel pushed making her stand before him, not quite sure how she could even get them to begin with. “I’ll give them to you for thirty-five as long as you do something for me to make up for the rest you don’t have.”

“What could I possibly do for you?” her eyebrow arched in curiosity feeling Joel moving around her and she heard him drop down on the couch behind her. Turning on her heel, her eyebrow arched and she let out a shuddering breath. Joel was looking up at her with his chocolate brown eyes. His right arm draped across the back of the couch, while his left hand laid across the center of his groin almost in a suggestive manner. His eyebrows bounced up and she felt her heartrate quicken. “Are you saying…?”

“I reckon it’s pretty obvious what I’m saying,” Joel’s fingers stretched out enough for him to palm in over the front of his pants.

“What about Tess?” she inquired seeing him sliding further down on the couch, pushing his thighs further apart.

“What about Tess? She’s not here,” Joel pointed out, tossing his hand up for a moment before smirking. “Plus, knowing about Tess didn’t stop you that one night.”

“Oh, so now you’re acknowledging that something happened between us that night?” she threw out there making Joel’s head tip to the side. “Because as far as I was aware, when I woke up in the morning you were gone and you never acted like that night happened.”

“What was there to say? It happened, we went on with our lives,” Joel’s face twisted in contemplation, “and now I want it again.”

“How much do you want exactly?” she inquired making Joel smirk when she folded her arms out in front of her chest.

“How many pills do you want?” Joel’s expression didn’t change much when she thought about the whole situation. “You want your five, you can take your five. You want your ten, I’ll give it to you if you work that mouth of yours and if you want fourteen, well…I’m sure you could figure out a way to persuade me.”

“And when Tess notices that the supply is lower than it should be?” she quipped back making Joel sigh loudly.

“Then I tell Tess I went on a bit of a binge. It wouldn’t be the first time,” Joel grumbled under his breath watching her slowly lowered down to her knees making his dark eyes narrow. Gradually, she moved across the floor moving between his legs. Raising up higher, her palms slid in over his knees before sliding up over the lengths of his thighs making Joel let out a tight breath. “Now make it good…”

“I’m always good,” she claimed with a shake of her head, caressing over his thighs giving them a tight squeeze. Adjusting her body, she slid her right hand up toward the center of his pants. Finding the root to his masculinity, she palmed over his body through the material of his jeans feeling him hardening beneath her touch. Squeezing faintly made a small rumble fall from his throat with his lips parting while she teased him.

“You must really want those pills, don’t you?” Joel watched her fingers slide up toward the button in his pants pulling it open with ease. When her fingertips dragged down the zipper, he lifted his hand up to drag his thumb in over her bottom lip. With a purr, she kissed at the pad of his thumb before taking it between her lips making him grunt. Her tongue lapped at his flesh before pulling her head back with a wet sound.

“It’s not like I’m going to have a problem doing this,” she replied with a slur, working to pull apart the material of his pants. When they were separated enough, she worked her hand into his pants. Arching his hips up, Joel helped her pull his erection from behind the denim prison it was confined in. The way her eyes surveyed over his length sent a chill through his entire body. She looked at it with such awe before her fingers delicately wrapped around his girthy length to take her time to stroke over it. “You have such a beautiful cock.”

Leaning over his lap, she pressed faint kisses at the underside of the tip making Joel hum out in approval. Involuntarily, his hips arched up when her grasp got tighter and she started to pump her hand over the length of his shaft while her tongue dragged out over the tip. Purring out, the taste of him lingered on her tongue. Raising her eyes, she stared out at Joel for a moment longer before grabbing a firm hold of the base of his cock. Taking Joel between her parted lips made a grunt escape him when the warmth of her mouth surrounded him.

This was something she was enjoying. The way her tongue lapped at the ridges of his manhood and the sounds she made drove Joel wild with desire. Between her tongue and the wet kisses she would place at the swollen tip, she had him eager for more. Tangling his fingers into her hair, Joel helped lead her to his length knowing that he wanted a bit more than this teasing she was giving him.

With a proud smirk, she allowed Joel to push her further down his length having his tip hit the back of her throat making her let out a wet sound before pulling back. Joel set a tempo of her head bobbing over his length having her drag her tongue along the underside of his cock with every pull back. Her blowjob was something that he had been thinking about since the first night they had spent together. It was something he never thought he would have again with her, but when the opportunity arose, he couldn’t turn it down.

Closing his eyes and dropping his head back against the couch, Joel couldn’t help but enjoy himself with her pleasuring him. And she was certainly working hard for it making his abdomen tense up. By the sounds she was making while giving him a blowjob, he wondered who was actually enjoying this more. Him…or her. Regardless, he couldn’t help but enjoy getting the time to be pampered upon.

Tightening his grasp in her hair, Joel led her further down his length making her tense up when she took him as far back into her throat as she could. After a few seconds, he loosened his grasp and allowed her to pull back for a breath. When her wet lips pulled from his cock, her fingers still caressed over his body coating him in her saliva before she licked her lips.

Returning to her previous place over his lap, she wrapped her lips around the tip and the way she varied between using her tongue over him and her mouth had him twitching forward, his hand sliding down between her shoulders when his breathing grew louder. He was right on the edge of coming and he knew it. Closing his eyes, his whole body tensed up only for him to let out an unpleasant sound when she pulled her mouth away from him and licked her lips.

“What are you doing?” Joel grumbled looking down at his straining cock. It was solid and eager to get its release that she had stolen from him. Lifting his head, he watched as she pulled open her pants and eagerly tugged the material down her body after kicking out of her shoes. Swallowing down hard, Joel’s eyebrows furrowed when he watched her shimmy out of her panties making him lick his lips.

“Getting something out of this for me too,” she breathed out moving back to the couch to reach for Joel’s pants to tug the material further down his body. They finally dropped at his ankles when she crawled in over his lap. Resting her knees at each side of him, she felt Joel adjusting beneath her with his hands sliding up and over her bare hips.

“So none of that was for you?” Joel muttered, his right eyebrow arching while her fingers worked to open the blue denim shirt that he was wearing. After getting the material separated, she took her time to palm up and over the lengths of his abdomen toward his chest. It made Joel growl out, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when he looked up at her with his dark stare. “It sounded like you were enjoying yourself.”

“Maybe a little bit,” she snickered, biting down into her bottom lip before reaching between the two of them to grab a hold of his solid cock, stroking it a few times to prepare him for her. “Try not to come too fast. I know you were right there when I stopped.”

“I’ll do my best,” he rumbled when she lined the tip of his body up with her already wet entrance. Pleasuring him earlier undoubtedly turned her on with how wet she already was with him. Lowering her hips over his length had her clutching tightly to his shoulders, a whimper falling from her full lips while she took him slowly into her. With her body parting to him, Joel couldn’t help feeling chills while she got adjusted to his size. Clutching tightly to her bare thighs, Joel knew that his grasp was strong enough that it was going to leave a mark on her, but she didn’t seem to care. When he filled her completely, she paused making Joel groan out with her surrounding him. Pushing his fingers up over her sides, he tugged at the material of her shirt and pulled it off to drop it onto the couch beside them. With his hands returning, he caressed up and over her ribcage before cupping her breasts making her purr out and drop her head back. “You’re something else.”

Joel’s rough thumbs circled over her nipples making her shudder against his touch before his head dropped forward to start pressing wet kisses down the side of her neck toward her collarbone. It was more personal than Y/N thought he was willing to go, but she liked it. Sinking her fingers into his hair, she purred out and started to raise her hips up almost all the way to the tip before dropping her hips back down. It made Joel moan out against her flesh sending a chill down her spine. One of Joel’s hands settled at the small of her back while she started to rock her hips over his length. The tip of his tongue circled her nipple before taking it between his lips with a faint sucking motion. The more animated her movements became over him had him letting out winces against her body. Dropping his head back against the back of the couch, his other hand fell to her hips to help her bounce over his length.

“Your big cock feels so good inside of me,” she whimpered out, digging her fingers into his shoulders while she had her way with him. Even exhausted, she found herself absolutely loving this. Being with Joel was addictive and she was eager for each movement she made over him. Having him inside of her was the sweetest stretching full feeling that she could have asked for. “Joel.”

“Fuck…” his moan was faint, but with his eyebrows furrowing and his head tipped down to watch the way his cock disappeared inside of her time and time again, it fueled her. Getting him off would be a present to her. Whether she got five pills or ten, she didn’t care. All that mattered was this moment right here with Joel. For so long she knew that Joel belonged to Tess so she never thought getting to be with him again would even be a possibility for her. Joel’s fingers curled around the side of her neck bringing her forward with a hum. “Come here…”

Joel’s lips covered hers, surprising her and slowing down her movements over him while his lips caressed over hers in the most demanding hungry sweep. The last time they were together, Joel didn’t kiss her so this was sensational for her. It made her body feel like it was on fire with him deep inside of her. The throbbing of Joel’s cock inside of her to his lips claiming her in the most animalistic of ways had the room spinning around her.

“Keep going,” he nipped at her bottom lip, his hands finding their way back to her hips to get her moving over him again. This time he led her over him in strong, swift movements knowing that he was searching for that release she had kept from him previously. Joel’s hips were now meeting her movements, arching up from the couch leaving a smacking sound surround them with each thrust he made beneath her. “Good girl.”

Hearing him praise her like that kickstarted her heart. She liked it. Taking it as encouragement, she started to roll her hips over him harder, her lips hovering over his while she took as much control of the situation as she could. Her cries fell from her lips while Joel watched her facial expressions. He wanted to witness what this was doing to her. It was an arrogance thing, but it turned her on all the more. His lips parted and a muscle at the corner of his jaw flexed.

“Yes,” she kissed him this time finding a fire growing at the pit of her stomach. They were both so close to their breaking points. Joel winced against her lips and she could feel his cock twitching inside of her. The warmth of his release started to fill her. Hot strands of his cum poured out into her making her purr against his mouth. Keeping up with her steady movements, she felt Joel’s tongue press between her lips and it drew a fire throughout her. Even after he came, she was looking for that release herself until she finally got it with her eyes slamming shut tightly. Falling in against Joel, she buried her head against the side of his neck and felt her heart pounding inside of her chest.

Joel’s hand caressed in over her hip before his hand found its way to her bottom. A gasp filled the air after he firmly smacked over her bottom making her arch forward toward him with him still inside of her, “Good girl. Very good girl.”

Licking her lips, she pulled back enough to look between them. Easing her hips up from his length, she watched it smack up against his lower abdomen when it pulled from her. His release slid down her thighs making him smirk when he reached between them to sweep some of it away with his thumb. Reaching up, he dragged his thumb coated in his release over her bottom lip making her purr when she took his finger between her lips cleaning his cum from his finger. It made Joel growl before pulling her down to him to get her to kiss him once more.

With a final firm smack over her bottom, she felt Joel adjusting her over him and moving her next to him on the couch. It took a while for her to gather herself while she watched Joel pulling his pants back up his legs. Her throat went dry watching him push his softening cock back into his pants before buckling them back together. Joel left his shirt open while he walked through the apartment. He went over to the counter to drop out the pills that she had come for.

Shakily reaching for her clothes, she pulled each garment on one by one. Standing on unsteady legs, she headed beside him seeing that he counted out fourteen pills for her and pushed them toward the corner of the counter.

“Thirty-five,” Joel held his hand out watching her smirk and shake her head. Grabbing her ration tickets from her pocket, she counted out what he asked from her and handed them over. Joel shoved the ration tickets into his pocket before glancing over at the pills. “They are all there.”

“So that’s it?” she watched him head over toward the bottle of whiskey that was there to pull the lid from the bottle. Joel’s eyebrow arched in amusement before he took a long swig of the burning liquid. “So I take my pills and leave? We never do this again?”

“I mean, it all depends on what you need next and if you have enough rations to pay for it,” Joel gave her a wink starting to button up his shirt.

“Or if Tess is home,” she pointed out watching Joel tip his head from side to side.

“That too,” Joel agreed biting at his bottom lip before nodding to his door. “Which is for another week or so. So if you think about something you are going to need more of, feel free to come back at any time. I hope you finally get that sleep you were looking for Y/N.”

[snk-smartpass]

TEXT Vol. 04 Connie’s Operation Proposal

Sometimes during training, one has no choice but to use their head. At times, this means having to write many words. In logical order, at that…

[Supplie Requasition

Bread: A bunch

Potatos: Around 5 boxes?

Milk: Not spoiled

Blades: Enough to attack Titans

Gas: A good amount]

“Start over.”

The instructor thrust Connie’s strategy to proposal back at him after little more than a glance. Dejected, he took the page.

••••••

“…How do you even begin to teach an idiot like this?”

“Forget about what he should be writing. I don’t even think he knows how to count supplies…”

Connie’s corpsmates had a good laugh at the document Connie wrote having summoned up all his brainpower. This wasn’t funny to him.

“I can pass the practical exams fine! Making it to the top of the class might even be realistic if it wasn’t for these tests where you have to write stuff…”

“Guess that means we don’t have a good reason to bother teaching you. The fewer competitors we have, the better.”

The other recruits may have been his corpsmates, but they were also his rivals, all competing for top marks. Connie’s desperate plea had backfired.

“C’mon! You can’t abandon me like this!

His fellow recruits laughed and ignored him as they returned to the barracks.

••••••

Two people happened to pass by Connie as he studied alone in the cafeteria. It was Reiner and Marco, who had just been helping the instructor with something. Two recruits with not only high practical marks, but top grades in the classroom too.

“Connie… You’re still studying?”

“It feels like they’re gonna send me back to my village if I keep getting these bad grades… I have to…”

Becoming a soldier was an important goal for Connie, someone who’d always been looked down upon as stupid. No matter how much trouble he had with something, he needed to get it done. His mother would surely be happy, if he finished with top marks this way. After Connie explained his situation to them, Reiner patted him on the shoulder.

“You understand what materials are required. All you need is to take your time with the numbers and be specific as you put them down. It’s fine if you write it in your own words.”

“You should also be more careful about your handwriting. Write it in a legible way, one that gets across just how much you need the materials.”

“Marco, Reiner… You guys are really kind.”

The two gave him words of encouragement, and Connie began again on his rejected document having processed their advice in his own way.

••••••

[Supply Requasition

Bread: Three days worth for five people

Potatoes: See above

Milk: See above. Fresh

Blades: Half a horse cart’s worth

Gas: Half a horse cart’s worth]

“…Looks fine.”

Through his corpsmates had insulted his document, it was ultimately accepted. Not only that, the instructor put it up in a place for everyone to see and learn from.

“What you need in a chaotic situation isn’t beautiful prose, it’s to write in a way that gives any reader an easy and accurate understanding of the current conditions. The words used by Recruit Springer in his requisition may be crude, but they show a proper understanding of the minimum needed by the squads that will be carrying out the operation they’ve been given. One could say that this sets an example of sorts, given that a soldier’s duty is to always be on the front lines.”

“Heh… So I am a genius.”

Frankly speaking, Connie only understood the part when the instructor said his work “sets an example.” Still, his corpsmates seemed to view him in a new light now. He decided he’d be as diligent as possible in his coursework, all in the hope that he’d get to experience this feeling again.

••••••

SOURCE: Attack on Titan: Short Stories 3

TRANSLATION: Ko Ransom

[camryn-haitani]

boo hoo, what are you gonna do about it?

JJK men x GN reader

PT 1

jjk men who are into humiliation/bullying

COLLEGE AU

kento nanami, gojo satoru x reader (separate)

TW: SMUT, bullying/humiliation, cursing, masturbating, cyber bulling (nanami's), ooc (I apologize if they are), ma'am calling, stepping on his erection (nanami's), recording

I apologize if these are really long

lowercase is intentional

I wanna see how this one does and if it does good, I'll do a pt2<3

ɢᴏᴊᴏ sᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ

Gojo Satoru who would desperately wait for you to get to class just for you to whisper those disgusting insults in his ear. cold shudders run down his back as your breath tickles his ear.

Gojo Satoru who would immediately start pumping his aching cock as soon as he gets home from class, remembering the insults you whispered in his ear

"oh my... god." you said. you grip his chin as he sits on the floor. you bend down to his height, "you're nothing and will always be nothing to me." you let go of his chin but you immediately slap his cheek. Satoru groans in pain but can't help the blood rushing to his erection.

you laugh at his reaction, "holy shit! you're actually getting hard from this?!" you burst out laughing which only makes him harder. Satoru stutters to finds his words. "aww poor baby, I think I'm just gonna leave you here." you fake pout.

"actually," you turn around, "I wanna make a deal." Satoru nods vigorously. "if you do all of my homework, projects, and give me the test answers for the rest of the semester, I'll fix that problem of yours," you point down to his erection, "and we can fuck whenever I feel like it or whenever you have a 'problem'," you air quote. "what do you say, Satoru?"

"yes! please, I need it. I'll do anything!" he grips onto your thighs, pleading. "then it's a deal." you put your hand out for him to shake. Satoru gladly puts out his and y'all shake on it, locking in y'all's deal.

(lemme know if y'all want an actual fic of this scenario)

ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ

Kento Nanami who puts on a mask so he won't let other people know that it's affecting him but on the inside, he's enjoying it so much. on the outside he's cool, calm, and collected. but in the inside, he's burning with lust and anticipation

Kento Nanami who doesn't know how you got his phone number but doesn't care when you started sending him horrible things about himself. you being oblivious that he knows it's you so you continue to send him those texts

Nanami sits on his bed reading your texts as they roll one by one. he rereads the names you call him as he palms himself through his jeans. "fuck-" the moan escapes before he can even think about it.

the scenario he's replaying in his head is when you and your little group surrounded him behind a building no one goes by anymore. insult after degrading words flow out of you and your groups mouths to Nanami like it was second nature to y'all.

the rapid knocks in his door snap him out of his daydream as he ties a hoodie around his waist to hide his erection and gets up to open the door.

"fuckin finally, goddamn." you walk in his room. "uhm can I help you?" he asks. "don't get that attitude with me, I can ruin your whole life within seconds." you point your finger at him. you sit on his bed as he walks over to you.

"so what can I do for you?" he asks, trying not to sound rude. "it's ma'am from now on, even in public." you get up and stand in front of him. you untie the hoodie from his waist and grab his signature tie and make him kneel down in front of you. you sit back down on his bed and step on his aching cock. "I knew it," you laugh, "I knew you get off to me bullying you!." you pull out your phone and start to record the sight below you. "as matter of fact, I haven't had a good fuck in a hot minute. so what'dya say Nanami? how about a little agreement? if you submit to me anytime and anywhere when I feel like it, I'll fuck you. and if this gets out to anyone, you're life will be over."

"yes ma'am, anything for you."

[doukeshi-kun]

a promise is a promise

daddy's home 😘

🌃-anon here ^^ hooray!!

okay okay phew it's been so long i forgot how to write anon ask but, a comeback is desperately needed to save the day. I'm here to talk about professor!nikolai agenda. your girl started uni and i need to cope.

while collegestudent!nikolai has been eating my brain like crazy, professor!nikolai is as needed. i might hit you up with college student nikolai someday tho cuz my classmates are all weird and i need that daily dose of delusion that someday, i'll meet a student as awesome and as fun as nikolai is in my head

little disclaimer to anyone reading this: dark content ahead. we dont do any of that irl it's just fiction, so if you're sensitive to prof x student shit keep scrolling. i say reader is 20-ish and papi nikolai is pushing 30 😁

random prof!nikolai headcanons ahead 🗣️

prof kolya is definitely one of the cool teachers on campus yk? the type that's loved by all of the students because of how laid back he is and how much he doesn't give a shit yk??? like "prof we didn't study for the test tomorrow can we postpone it?" "we will. i havent put the text either" 💀 that type you know?

BUT simultaneously, he can also be really strict depending on the context yk? while he's chill, he can't tolerate disrespect like, not at all. he jokes around with his students but with limits and boundaries.

clothes-wise i feel like he dresses super well 🤔 as opposed to headcanons I've seen, i dont think he dresses weird or in an eccentric way like canon nikolai is, he wears casual clothes :3 fashionable? yes. but nothing weird. he's tall, broad with really unique features (i imagine nikolai with one of them typical european noses and plump looking lips. this part is totally up to you tho)

prof kolya was a really unproblematic physics professor (yk in canon he has teleportation abilities so uh) that is until y/n took a course with him,

we're met with two cases: y/n is calm and quiet in class, y/n puts herself out there. now let's be for real, teachers love good students so the higher the grades the better the sex more you'll get attention from him (god imagine nikolai praising you😮‍💨)

now if you're quiet- OMG since he gets along well with students i feel like he'll openly joke around with students except for you (if you're quiet) he'll just talk with you in a low voice (btw i imagine classes like, small classes not amphitheaters or any of that) let me elaborate: you're in class yk he's explaining quantum physics or some shit and occasionally interacting with his students. his gaze falls on you once he's standing right in front of your desk and lets a small question slide like "is it ok?" "do you get it?" or flashing you a small smile or so 🤭 he's not mocking you or anything he's being genuine (for once) bc you're openly his favorite

and by that, and as someone who's a favorite for nearly all my professors so far the privileges i get isnt anything like grades or whatever but more like validation? im a good student i dont need their crusty dusty extra credits. one of the privileges i get is for example, during exams, the prof tells me "so, [name], we're scoring an A+ in this test too?" yk and it's genuine so nikolai i that type too.

(i leave anything sexual or suggestive for you to develop bc im really bad and awkward at that)

conclusion: he shamelessly favorites you in front of other students.

though you two would become a thing faster if reader is on the more loud type in his class: always participating, asking questions, joking around maybe.... i feel like when you have a question thats a little long to explain, he'd ask u to come to his office and what happens there is up to your imagination dear bean

will quickly become your number one emotional support throughout college 🥱 imagine not doing well in the exam and you go to his office to talk to him about it and he comforts you by [redacted]

anyways i could go on and ramble forever. i'd love to hear your dirty thoughts on this nikolai au :3 what i wrote is hella long and messy but we're mere disciples beanie, you're the writer here hehe

as usual, have a good/day night!!

I REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH *sloppily kissing slop slop*

first of all, yeeee goodluck with college and don't die bcs i almost did 😎👉 and secondly, no let's NOT get nikolai pushing 30s. HE IS 35 ATLEAST IDC HAHAHA im gonna reply to each one headcanon bcs you deserve it girlie 💋✨

yes! he totally gives me the vibe to be laid-back at his work. he's so gonna do something like that lmao. also, despite his laid-back persona and he's always like “ehh~ just answer this easy ass quiz and i'll take it as your assignment mark”, i do think he does his job greatly. there's a time where he needs to get things done and while it doesn't seem like he's doing shit, he actually GETS. SHIT. DONE. that's why he isn't fucking fired 💀

strict prof. nikolai.... ugh *spreads legs*😝 i agree. he does have limit and i feel like he wouldn't scold people or raise his voice but certainly when he's being colder and quieter, oooh you fucked up big time

i do think he wears classic style to go to classes! i'm thinking... dark academia. and yes, he's tall and broad and so big✨ i feel like it also depends on the subject. if prof nikolai is teaching theatre or drama... those kind of things, he will wear something maximalist, if that makes sense? imagine a mad hatter-themed suit but formal. unfortunately, i can't draw for life.

physics professor hmmmm why don't he come here and expand the space of my quantum pussy😏😏

i can imagine raaaaaaa :barkbarkbark: him praising you in front of the whole class because you got quite high marks for physics ahakss😝

HMMMMMMM SOFTY :feral: i can't fucking breathe😩 yes he'd totally be loud to those who are loud with him but if you're quiet and serene, he'll be soft as fuck rrrrrrrrr imagine him noticing you not understanding something and he takes the initiative to come to your desk, teach you with the softest (yet deep) voice ever. NOT MOCKING ME TOO? woah what a green flag 💚

lmfao i can totally relate with you😭 honestly, validation is too pressuring, stressing and overwhelming for me. i hate when teachers are like “so, elie, you can score A for this right?” bih i just barely got the B-grade fym (burnt-out gifted kid be like;). anyway, i'm half-half on this. but i do think if he makes such comments, and he notices you aren't uncomfortable, he wouldn't go put his way to directly say that. maybe he just makes comment that implies he does have certain expectations on you

(i'll develop the sexual things myself *takes off his pants and develop his wood*)

conclusion: he becomes my favourite subject😝❤️

i'm honestly thinking that he prefers it if you are an active student. idk, for me, nikolai (in general) likes challenges and fun. so if you're actively questioning this or that, he'd take interest in you really quick. also, i will invite myself into his office tyvm

definitely get emotional. lmao imagine ranting about other professors with him and he just supports you

well my dirty thought is that he becomes my private tutor. HA HOW BOUT THAT HUHHH but in all honesty, i love the thought of him riling and teasing you instead of yk, playing favourite and get you alone in his office. he likes edging people and he'd surely likes it if you tease him back too ayy papi😝

[elvisabutler]

What about reader who's the on the costuming team for Elvis, and is put in charge of making and tailoring Austin's costumes. As time goes on Austin low-key starts sexting her in the outfits, starting with something like "am I wearing this right?" and needing to be shown how to tie a crop top in the baby blue outfit to "it's feeling a little tight in certain areas and I think i desperately need a tailor ;)" in one of the Vegas Jumpsuits.

clothes make the man

summary: austin butler is an asshole. austin butler is attractive. you wish both of these things were not true together. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: asshole! austin butler x female reader word count: 4193 i don't know what came over me i thought this was 2k before the oral but apparently not! warnings: austin is an asshole. austin being a bit of a manslut. austin calling the reader a slut. generally speaking there's a bit of derogatory language. talk about p in v sex ( unprotected ). talk about creampies. inappropriate use of costumes. brief austin x olivia mention. brief mention of vanessa. slightly unwanted in the beginning sexual advances before there's a 180 about them. oral ( m receiving ). talk about cum eating. fade to black p in v sex ( unprotected ). swallowing. i think that's everything. author’s note: so first off anon, thank you for this prompt! i had actually considered telling you that i couldn't do it because it's a tricky one to do without erring a little too much in sort of an unwanted sexual advances way ( at least for me ) but i think i managed to strike a healthy enough balance. shout out to @blurredcolour, my lovely graceland queens and @eliseinmemphis for being cheerleaders. but especially elise for screaming HOW IN THE FUCK ARE YOU SO GOOD AT ASSHOLE AUSTIN. to which i say, i do not even remotely know because i'll remind everyone i pretty much write him as a damn puppy of a man. hell that's one of my tags for him. though this was toned down from attempt number one. that one had boot licking in the notes. apologies if this isn't your cup of tea but i do hope you enjoy it anon!

There is something uniquely attractive about Austin Butler, something that makes you forget that you really shouldn't get involved with him. You've noticed this from the girls he flirts with, the extras he flirts with and takes to his dressing room like he actually was Elvis Presley in his prime hoe days. You've noticed this in the way he managed to charm the actress playing Priscilla- Olivia- into sleeping with him at least once or twice. You've noticed this in the way that despite knowing you need to keep thing professional and that you've seen him be a complete and utter ass to the girls who don't suit his needs any more- that he's finished with- you still flirt with him. It's easy enough, you have to be up close and personal with the man, making sure Catherine's designs fit him correctly and that he hasn't put on weight or lost too much. You know the exact level of tightness that needs to exist to make these costumes feel as if they're on Elvis Presley, not on Austin playing Elvis Presley.

"If you wanted to be this close to me you didn't have pretend my arm's gotten longer." Austin says midway through you sliding his arm through a leather jacket. "It fit yesterday, you just wanna feel up my muscles."

"I don't know what you're talking about." You feel your lips purse even as you feel your body getting warmer at the insinuation. "I'm just doing my job."

"Your job is feeling me up and staring at me. Yeah, you do a great job at that." He nods, looking down at you where you're pulling down the front of the jacket, testing to see if it needs to be let out a little for a different drape of the fabric. "Careful, get much lower and-"

You roll your eyes and move to stand up. "I don't feel you up or stare at you any more than I did with Kelvin or Alton or Kodi or Oliv-"

"Little Livvy! Oh- I didn't even realize you swung that way, I'm sure she'd love to have a-" You pull yourself back up to a standing position and place your finger on his lip as if to shush him.

"Don't even say the next words, Mr. Butler. I'm not trying to hit on you." Not- technically- or at least not in these circumstances. It's not as if you wouldn't do it if given the opportunity. But that's not necessarily something you feel like he deserves to know when he's being this much of a pain in your ass.

His eyes focus in on your finger on his lips looking cross eyed as he does before he raises an eyebrow and nips at your finger with the biggest smirk you've ever seen. Your first instinct is to pull away and hold your hand because for a nip his teeth are surprisingly painful. You stop yourself though, and instead just roll your eyes.

"I know that probably works on every other girl, but unlike some people, I'm a little more professional. Try again." Your eyes run from his shoulders to the bottom of his pants, taking note that the hem is a little too high in the leg and making a note in it in the back of your mind to fix it once he's out of the clothes. "Strip, Mr. Butler."

In a second you realize that was the wrong word to say when you hear Austin chuckling and you just sigh as he pulls off his pants and jacket and tosses them at you. "You want me completely-"

"I want you to get your street clothes on and leave, Mr. Butler." Cutting off whatever words he planned on saying and shooting a glare at him. "I don't have time for this."

"I'm the star of the movie, playing the Elvis Presley, I think everyone would forgive you for taking a little extra time with me." He watches as you stand up, grabbing some needles to mark where you need to adjust things. It's easy enough to pull on his clothes and walk up behind you as you're too focused on your work to notice him until you feel his warm breath against your ear. "You need my measurements to be exact. What better way than feeling them firsthand? Feeling how they rest in your hand. In your mouth, in your-"

You can't help the way your body shudders involuntarily at the warmth of his breath and the way his lean body is pressed against your and you swear you can feel Austin's delight at your reaction despite not hearing a bit of laughter. He probably has that stupid little smirk he perpetually wears around the set, acting as if he's God's gift to acting. It always makes you wonder if he's always been like that or if exposure to Ms. Mad About Covid Ruining Coachella is what made him this way. Or maybe it was just him taking on the role of a man who might have been a good man but was also supposedly the cockiest womanizing bastard on the planet.

"Mr. Austin Robert Butler. I'm finished with you today. Go run your lines or do movement stuff with Polly. I'm-" A shaky breath leaves your mouth. "I don't need any extra time with you today."

Sure enough when you look up from the pants and into the mirror you see a smirk on Austin's face and see him tilting his head just sow almost like he's studying you before he pulls out a sheet of paper from his jean pocket and moves to set it down on the pants, making sure his arm brushes against yours. "Here's my number if you need it later tonight, then. Because I'd hate for you to get in trouble with Catherine over something going wrong with the costumes."

"I'm throwing this away." Your voice is smaller than you mean it to be but trusting yourself to say the statement loudly feels like something impossible in this moment. It feels like if you do try and get any louder he'll call you on your bluff, tell you that you won't be throwing it away because you want to talk to him, want to hear him tell you all about how he figures you want to have him bend you over this vanity and fuck you. That won't do though, so you try and stay quiet as can be. "As soon as you leave."

He tries to meet your eyes again in the mirror before shrugging. "Your job, not mine." Your job at stake is what you swear he means and it has your eyebrows furrowing before he breathes one final sentence in your ear. "Relax. Wouldn't dream of getting you fired."

He leaves as if he didn't drop a bomb on you that you hadn't been thinking about, that he didn't tease the idea that maybe he'd try and get you fired. He- he might be an asshole but that was coercion in a way that even the biggest of assholes wouldn't do, let alone someone you could swear had to have something going for him. Still, you can't help the way you lean over the pants and stare at the number he left, frowning just slightly as you do. You should throw it away- you should and yet you don't.

You don't and instead you text him that night and the night after and the night after until you develop what has got to be the strangest professional and personal rapport you think you've ever had with someone. You have the night off, it's before a shoot that you know is going to run him, Catherine and yourself ragged but Baz understands that despite the deadlines you all have to meet that a rest day is in order. Usually when Austin has one of these days off he's silent, too busy- you figure- fucking some other woman and you try and not let the jealousy twist in your gut at the idea. However, tonight is different and for reasons you don't pretend to understand you are interrupted from your binge watching session of a show to a notification from Austin asking you what you're wearing. There's a heat that swirls in your lower half, drifting from your stomach down to between your legs and it takes you a minute to answer. A part of you wants to say something cute and sexy but you know he's just asking this to mess with you- to mess with you and mock you for dressing up when you're not with anyone. So you tell him the simple truth of a ratty t-shirt, you don't clarify on the state of your underwear, figuring he'll fill in whatever blank he wants. After about a minute there's a simple text of pic?

Austin Butler is not trying to sext you, you are hallucinating this, a consequence of too much wine and not getting laid since that one lighting guy like a month ago. You don't respond for five minutes only to get another text from him, "wanna see." Wanna see what? You? The ugly t-shirt you have on? You take another minute before you take your best selfie showing off how threadbare the shirt is and making sure your lower half is covered by a blanket. His next response that follows is a voice memo that you shouldn't listen to but you do.

"That's practically see through. I can see your nipples poking through it. You cold, Y/N? Or wanting to tease me?" His breath is shaky in a way you only identify with someone playing with themselves and you can't help the way your hand starts to move down your torso and in between your legs. "You don't have any panties on. Fuckin' slut, know I'm gonna text you and knew you had to take a pic and you don't put fuckin' panties on. You hear me, babe? Fuck, should get you to come over here, tell Catherine I need to fix a costume for tomorrow, bend you over my bathroom counter and fuck you. Make you go back to your apartment with my come dripping down your legs. Bet ya got your hands in between your legs. Wish it was me helping you. Fucking you through this."

The words he says start to be drowned out by the rush of your heartbeat before you realize the recording has stopped and that you've got five more messages from him, each talking about how his hand isn't a match for how tight your pussy is even if you fucked the lighting guy, it's been long enough. How his spit isn't anything like how your saliva would be around his cock and how he's made a mess of his pants and torso and how you should be in bed with him to lick it off to clean him up like you make sure those boots of his are clean for the costumes.

You come harder than you have in years and don't respond. He doesn't say anything that next day and yet you can't help the way your eyes avert themselves from his when he catches your gaze. It goes back to normal, you think, with your rapport edging toward fond on your end maybe fond on his or at least as fond as he gets with anyone. True mystery of the ages, do assholes actually treat anyone fondly or is everyone just a means to an ends with them? You've yet to solve that specific mystery when it comes to Austin even if you think you may be inching closer.

That is until he texts you while you are sick. It's not COVID but as a precaution you stay home only to get a picture of him in Elvis's robe circa 72 or 73, half open revealing his underwear and his cock just there- it's not erect but you see the length of it soft and the girth of it soft and hold back a whine even with your runny nose. His text with it is a simple "am I wearing this right" like he doesn't know all he has to do is shut the damn thing for the scene or that he doesn't know how much seeing him like this feels like a cruel tease.

It takes you a good five minutes- or maybe ten, the runny nose is making your brain fog something fierce, before you manage a response.

"Tie it up. Loosely. You have it too loose, AB." AB because Mr. Butler feels too formal but Austin feels too intimate and you're trying to not think about how you wish you were there, how you wish you could see his cock stand to attention in that outfit. You take a sip of your water as you hear the ding of your phone telling you that you have another message, this time with Austin having it tied up correctly but somehow his underwear has shifted down just enough for you to see the hair on his pubic area and you have to shut your eyes for a moment. He doesn't say anything else but you at least give him a thumbs up in response followed by a plea for him to pull up his underwear. You don't hear any complaints the next day when you come in though the second Austin sees you he's decided that despite you still being a bit under the weather he needs to crowd behind you reminiscent of that time with the pants.

"Didn't realize you were looking so low, babe. Sure you don't want to have fun? See what it feels like against that skin of yours?" His arm slithers around your waist for a moment before lifting up your shirt and playing with your the skin of your stomach. "Might even clean up whatever mess I make on you while you clean up the mess on me. If you're good." If your knees buckle a little you don't notice as he grips your waist a little tighter. "Oh, there she is, all I gotta do is tell you're a good girl to make you admit you want me? But you gotta earn me saying that. Have to stop being so frigid, baby."

"I'm not-" You shake your head. "Let go, Austin. I have work I need to do and you've- I'm still sick. So get out of this room."

He opens his mouth to say something before pursing his lips and giving your waist another squeeze before pulling away and sneering as he waves. "Just so you don't get me sick with whatever one of the guys you fucked gave you. Bye, Y/N."

Later on your mind wonders how he knows you fucked someone else on the crew and you choose not to dwell on it just this once. In fact, you choose not to dwell on how Austin seems to be keeping his distance physically even if he keeps practically sexting you images of him in costumes as you recover until the day he's in the blue suit and Baz has put you in charge of taking pictures. Except Austin can't seem to tie his blue suit correctly and you find yourself on your knees batting his hands away so that you can get the proper angle you can't manage standing up. Your eyes stay focused on the knot your forming with the suit even as you swear you feel Austin's breath quickening as your hands touch his torso. "Calm down, Austin. It's not-"

"You know you can do more than tie the shirt and the suit. While you're down there." His voice is no more than a whisper as you see him take slow deliberate breaths. It almost sounds like a command and you feel your mouth water as your eyes flick down to see his cock starting to press against the pants. This is professional, your relationship with him is supposed to be professional and you're not- you're not going to be like half the crew who have fallen into his arms. His stupid asshole arms where he fucks a girl and leaves her and acts like he didn't lead them on with maybe promises of more. "Know you want to taste it. Been thinking of your mouth on it-"

You quickly stand up and shut your eyes shaking your head as you back away, your tying job complete. Getting out of this room should be your first priority but Austin won't force you into anything if you tell him no, you don't think. And you have a job to finish, you have to take the pictures of him in the outfit so Baz can see. It's easy enough, you don't even need to be near Austin to shoot the photos. "Don't- Just. I'm going to do my job, Mr. Butler." Mr. Butler, not Austin because that's why he's trying to pull this, he thinks he can, he thinks he's wormed his way into your head.

He has but that's not the point. He has but you are not going to fall into his stupid arms because you might actually like him and he's a movie star and you don't have time for this. You meet Austin's eyes and he rolls his before striking a pose in front of the mirror. If you didn't know any better you'd think he was showing off, trying to impress you with how he looked, but he wouldn't be doing that, not for you, not just to get into your pants. The whole ordeal is over faster than you think it is and if you run off as soon as Austin hands you the outfit on the hanger, well, that's between you, God, and Catherine and Baz.

He ignores you when you text him for the next week. He ignores you as you do his fittings. He ignores you when you try and talk to him in between scenes and you find yourself feeling anxious over it. You may think he's an asshole and he may be one but you were also getting very used to having him around and in your life. It's probably why while annoyed after a long day on set you leave him a voicemail message cursing him out and asking why he's so angry about you not sucking his cock among other choice words before you get a simple text back.

He's wearing the black butterfly/black pyramid jumpsuit. You know this because you specifically double checked the measurements to make sure they fit him. The pic he sends reminds you that you didn't anticipate his cock being hard in them.

"Was just with Catherine before you sent that. Wasn't tight before but now it's feeling a little too tight. I'm in desperate need of a tailor or I think I might split the pants. :)"

The speed that you use to get yourself back on set is one you doubt you will ever manage again. By now you unfortunately know where Austin's trailer is and pray to god it's unlocked as you march yourself to it and swing the door open only to find Austin with the jumpsuit half unzipped waiting for you.

"My favorite little tailor. Come to fix my problem?" He asks a smirk so firmly on his face that you want to slap it off of him but you'll settle for just having it be replaced by his mouth opened in pleasure. You snarl some word at him before finishing unzipping the jumpsuit and having his cock smack you in the face, smearing precum on your cheek. "Didn't bother with underwear, oops."

If looks could kill the one you give him through your eyelashes as you wrap your hand around the base of his cock would have murdered him. As it is though, all it does is earn a laugh out of him as he moves to grab the back of your head, guiding your mouth to his cock. "That's it. Fix the problem you made. Getting so angry with me like the frigid little bitch you've been. Could have been doing this for months. Could have-" His words are cut off as you take the tip of him in your mouth and he groans low, his hips struggling to not immediately buck. He doesn't trust that you can handle him that quickly and he's not about to have you do something gross on his cock. "Were you practicing on the lighting boys? Practicing on everyone else? Wanted to give me the best blow job? Give me what I earned for putting up with you doing this back and forth?"

All you want Austin to do is shut up and somehow he's not. Somehow he's maintaining enough brain power to spew insults at you that are landing far more harshly than you're willing to admit. Your hand moves to play with his balls as your tongue works the tip of his cock and that vein on the underside that has him cursing your name as he finally lets his hips buck into your mouth. You sputter a little, not necessarily prepared for the sudden force of his cock hitting your palette or the back of your throat, you don't know which if you're being entirely honest. All you know is there's a few tears forming in your eyes and your nose is running but you have a job to do that you refuse to fail at. It takes a moment for your throat to relax as you inch your way up his cock until your nose is nuzzling at that patch of hair you saw in the robe and you allow yourself a moment to just inhale his unique scent of sweat and soap. You feel his hand tighten against your head and do it once more as he tries to pull you off his cock, trying to gain an upper hand again only for you to grip his thigh and allow your teeth to graze his cock.

Austin does what can only be described as a growl and a groan mixed together as he realizes he can't pull you off the way you have your teeth. Right now it's pleasurable but if he tries to pull you any more it won't be. Goddamn he underestimated you. Instead he just leans back, trying to focus on the way your tongue feels playing with the tip of his cock, how it feels having you hollow out your cheeks, how it feels to have your mouth enveloping him so tight and warm and god, he feels himself about to come the more he feels your hand play with his balls. If you were someone else, if you were someone else he might warn you but you won't let him pull you off and so maybe you deserve to have his cum slide down your throat, maybe he wants to see it drip out the side of your mouth because you can't swallow it all. He can paint your face later. He can paint your body with his cum later.

You feel the warmth of his cum unexpectedly even though you had felt him twitching in your mouth. A part of you wants to be offended, wants to yell at him for not warning you but you take this as a challenge, trying not to choke as you swallow because his hand isn't moving from the back of your head. You know what he wants, he wants to see you be a good little slut, a good little girl and swallow his cum. That's easy enough except it isn't as you choke a little and feel some leak out the sides of your mouth before he's finally spent and he finally lets go of the back of your head. In a moment you pull off of him and are about to lick the sides of your lips before he rubs it off onto his thumb and puts it on your lower lip, the implication of suck vividly clear. Your tongue darts out and licks his thumb clean before sucking just once and letting it go with a light pop.

Austin is still trying to catch his breath as you shift on your knees, trying to gain some friction to ease the ache you feel between them. You try to be subtle but when he looks up at you he notices and smiles like he's a villian in some new movie.

"You want help with that?" A simple question but a loaded one that has you staring at his mouth and staring at his cock that's starting to stir again before you answer with a shrug.

"If you think you still need help making sure the costume fits, Butler." Not Austin, not AB, not Mr. Butler, just Butler, something that feels uniquely correct for this situation and from the way he smirks, you think he agrees.

"I'd hate to ruin all of Catherine's work because someone's tailoring job sucked." He pats his lap. "Ride me, Y/N. We've got all night."

taglist: @eliseinmemphis, @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @purejasmine, @lindszeppelin, i don't know it's asshole austin who even knows which of y'all wanna read this.

[paigemathews]

The ask prompts ask number who knows what I’ve already lost count:

victor and henry sr bonding as mortals in a magical family

Pairing: Victor Bennett & Henry Mitchell

Background Pairing: Paige Matthews/Henry Mitchell, Victor Bennett & Paige Matthews

Walking into the living room, Victor immediately realized what the problem was. Henry had his face buried in his hands and was perfectly still, a posture that Victor more than recognized from his early years.

Settling into the armchair opposite of his son-in-law, Victor waited. Henry finally looked up, something wild in his eyes.

"I traveled to the future."

Okay, so that one wasn't exactly in Victor's expertise. He'd seen the effects of time travel a few times: a time loop tormenting his daughter, his grandson making a desperate bid to save his family and world, and even his dead ex-wife visiting him. He'd never once gotten caught in any of that himself, however, which was probably preferable. While his daughters and grandchildren had (would?) knew the dangers of meddling in time, Victor had a list of regrets that he knew he'd never be able to resist fixing if given the opportunity. Being there for his daughters. Sparing them the trauma of demons preying on their trust and betraying them. Finding Paige two decades earlier. Saving Patty and Prue from dying so young.

Unaware of Victor's thoughts, Henry continued, "Paige and I were talking about raising kids with magic, and Wyatt-"

"Sent you to the future to see what it'd be like," Victor finished. Piper had warned him about being careful what he said in front of his oldest grandson until Wyatt was old enough to better understand his powers. He hadn't gotten the full details of the problems that'd caused, but he knew it'd happened more than once.

Henry nodded and rasped out, "We had twins. Charlotte and Penny. One of them moved all of our living furniture with her mind. The other one accidentally cheated on her science test by seeing the answers in a vision."

Henry buried his face in his hands again and mumbled, "I don't know how to do this."

Victor shuffled over and patted Henry on the back. "Magic is... not easy to deal with. You'll never fully understand it and never fully be a part of this world. Some people can handle that. Some people can't."

If he'd known before he'd married Patty, he doesn't know if he'd had gone through with it. Magic was... terrifying. He had no way of protecting his family, could only watch and hope that they'd be able to save themselves. But life without his girls, even with magic, was one that he didn't want to imagine.

"I love Paige," Henry argued, lifting his head. "It's not just the magic. I'm not- I grew up in the system, I don't-"

That was something that he had more experience with. Well. More of a "what not to do" type of experience. "Parenting is hard. Parenting witches is even harder, especially as a mortal. Now, I didn't do that great of a job of it, but you're not the person I was. More than anything, the thing is being there. You'll make mistakes. There's no getting around it, but being there and trying to fix them are the most important part of being a parent. And from what my girls have told me, including Paige, you're not the type to run when it gets hard, Henry."

Henry had a faint smile as he met Victor's gaze. "Not when it comes to Paige. I love her."

"Is that so?" Paige leaned against the doorway as both men turned to look at her. She smiled, eyes soft. "Good thing I love you, too."

She held her hand out to her husband. "Wyatt wanted to apologize for the magical journey, and I think Phoebe wanted to pry some future information out of you."

Henry rose and took her head with a wry shake of his head. "I don't know if that's how it works."

"I'll distract her for you two," Victor promised. He needed to go find his third daughter anyways, find out about this Coop fellow.

[steddiealltheway]

Part Two of Alone Together :) Christmas Cookies. Part One. AO3 Link.

Steve groans when his timer goes off again, not finished with cutting out the sugar cookies he’s working on. He would be if Nancy and Robin hadn’t taken a “quick” break over fifteen minutes ago. He wipes his hands off on a towel before finding his oven mitts amongst the mess the trio had created.  

He opens the oven and pulls out the pan, setting it quickly on the stovetop as he starts to feel the heat through the worn red mitts.  

“Shit,” Steve says, looking at the crispy edges of the cookies. He’s going to have to tell Nancy that she was wrong for once, and Steve was right about the time the cookies needed to be in the oven. He glances off towards the hallway they were headed towards and sighs. They won’t be back any time soon. 

He leans against the counter to take a break for a moment. He wishes Eddie were here to give him an extra hand baking. Maybe not ... Steve doesn’t trust Eddie with the shapes he would make or the amount of raw cookie dough he would likely consume. At the very least, he would be good company and entertainment though. Unfortunately, Eddie was roped into providing rides for the kids other than Will and Mike who had experienced Argyle’s driving before.  

Steve glances at the clock realizing that there is another hour or so until the kids are supposed to be there to decorate the cookies. He stares at the phone in his kitchen and glances down the hall again. 

He needs company and help, and there’s no way he wants to walk in on whatever his ex and his best friend are doing during their break. 

He sighs and trudges over to the phone quickly dialing the number he memorized but rarely used. The line rings a few times then stops as a voice says, “Munson not murder residence.” 

Steve winces involuntarily at the line. He wonders what type of calls Eddie and his uncle get even though they have a new home and number. “Hey, Eddie,” Steve says. He tries to ignore the sigh of relief on the other line. 

“Hey, Steve, what’s going on?” Eddie asks sounding slightly nervous.  

“The lovebirds ditched me, and I need help with the sugar cookies, or they won’t be done by the time the kids are supposed to be here. And you know how that’ll go over...” 

“They’ll lose their shit, yeah. I’ll be there in a few minutes, don’t worry. See you soon!” Eddie says hanging up the phone before Steve can say goodbye. Maybe he’s desperate for company too.  

True to his word, a few minutes later, Eddie is ringing the doorbell and making his way inside the Harrington house. Steve feels the overwhelming urge to hug Eddie, but luckily his hands are too messy to do something stupid like that.  

“Hey sugar, nice apron,” Eddie says with a big smile, hands in his pockets as he slowly makes his way to Steve.  

“It’s perfectly sensible, and I’m getting you one too before you complain about getting flour on your clothes. Also, ‘sugar’?” Steve asks, digging through his drawer for an extra apron, pulling out a white lacy one he’s sure Eddie will protest. 

Instead, Eddie immediately tugs it on, tongue shooting out in concentration when he ties it behind his back. When he’s done – after Steve tells him to tie it in the front and spin it around – Eddie answers, “‘Sugar’ like sugar cookies.”  

Steve snorts. Of course Eddie would come up with a nickname that is also a pun. “Okay, back to business,” Steve says seriously trying to hide a smile when Eddie gives him a serious look in response, “I’ll roll out the dough as you cut out the shapes using as much dough as you can. No taste testing. After everything we’ve been through, you’re not dying of salmonella. Also, no weird shapes. Just stick to the cookie cutters.” 

“What would a weird shape look like?” Eddie asks next to Steve, bumping his elbow against his. 

Steve gives Eddie a look. “No dicks on gingerbread men or in general.” 

Eddie frowns. “You’re no fun.” Nonetheless, Eddie actually follows his rules well, all while chatting with Steve about random things on his mind, sometimes humming a Christmas tune when a comfortable silence settles between them. 

Steve notes how easily they navigate around each other, gentle touches on the waist with a soft warning, and sometimes fingertips lingering for a moment longer than necessary. Not that Steve minds at all.  

Before he knows it, the last batch of cookies are going in the oven, as Eddie pulls off his apron and begins to clean up the countertops. He’s well more well behaved than Steve imagined, but really, they haven’t spent too much time alone. The idea of alone time rings through Steve’s head as he unties his apron as well. 

Steve makes his way next to Eddie who quickly invades his personal space as he always does. Steve sneaks a glance at Eddie and snorts. A bit of white powder is smeared across his cheek, and Steve can’t help but do the most cliché thing and gently wipe it off Eddie’s face.  

“What are you doing?” Eddie breathes out.  

“Getting flour off your cheek,” Steve explains, thumb gently sweeping the flour off. His hand lingers.  

“Steve…” Eddie says, voice low.  

Before Steve realizes what he’s doing, he’s already pulling Eddie in.  

“Steve!” Robin’s voice calls out panicked from the hall. Steve jumps back immediately. “Oh my god, we fell asleep and just woke up and noticed what time it is and... Hey, Eddie, what are you doing here?” 

Eddie glances towards the clock and yells, “Leaving! Shit, Dustin will be so mad when I’m late!” Eddie presses a quick panicked kiss against Steve’s cheek and runs out of the kitchen. 

The front door slams as Nancy makes her way into the kitchen rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Robin stares at Steve with raised eyebrows. “So, Eddie, huh?” 

“No,” Steve firmly states. “And since you two took a lovely nap, I’m going to do the same as you two clean up and get the icing ready. Also, there’s one more batch of cookies in the oven. Enjoy!” Steve yells over his shoulder making his way to the living room couch.  

“He’s totally deflecting, right?” Steve hears Robin say to Nancy. 

“What did I miss?” Nancy asks thoroughly confused.  

Steve drifts off in the living room to hushed whispers coming from the kitchen, and he tries not to perk up every time he hears Eddie’s name whilst trying not to think too hard about that kiss. 

-:-:-:-:-:- 

“Steve, hey Steve, sugar. Wake up.” 

Steve groans and slowly cracks an eye open catching sight of Eddie shaking him awake. This may be the only time Steve has ever enjoyed being woken up. He sits up with a groan and asks, “What time is it?” 

Eddie smiles. “It’s only been about half an hour. The kids have already all picked out their cookies, but I thought you wouldn’t mind the extra sleep.” 

“You’re a perfect man. Has anyone told you that?” Steve asks until he catches sight of the devious smile growing on Eddie’s face. “I take that back. You’re horrible. A menace really.” 

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the... couch.” Steve groans in response. “Come on, big boy, let’s see what the kids have left us.” 

Steve allows Eddie to help him up and might play the ‘just woke up’ card a little too heavily, but he really enjoys the feeling of Eddie wrapping his arm around his waist as he assists him to the kitchen. All of the kids and adults are too busy with their own creations to notice Steve practically clinging to Eddie’s side as they walk over to the counter section left for them. 

There’s a baking sheet with what looks to be all the deformed or broken cookies occupying their area. Steve huffs, “After all that, they leave us with this. What a great sentiment.” 

Eddie laughs and picks at two gingerbread men – one with the head fallen off and the other with a missing arm and broken leg. He picks up the two and puts on a strangely high-pitched voice for the left cookie missing the head, “Oh, hello there Dusty-bun. I would lose my head if it weren’t for you.” 

Steve puts his head in his hands and sighs deeply.  

“Get it? And look, this one with the broken leg is Dustin. It’s hilarious.” Eddie says with a laugh, continuing to make the two interact. Steve peeks through his hands and wonders how he ever agreed to this date pact thing. 

After they get ahold of some icing, Eddie does a splendid job making the red icing look like blood for all the broken pieces – even for the tree and star shapes. Steve finds himself joining in after giving up on trying to make his look pretty or in any way uniform. But it pays off to have Eddie giggling at whatever messed up creation Steve decides to add to their pile. 

Steve glances over at the beautiful cookies Nancy and Robin are creating, then Jonathan and Argyle’s cookies covered in green icing he assumes is in the shape of weed, the three gingerbread men El, Max, and Lucas put together, the blue and yellow cookies Will and Mike make, and Dustin and Suzie’s very... interesting icing explosion creation. He glances back at his and Eddie’s and decides he kind of likes theirs the best, but maybe that’s just because he’s biased. 

“So, where are the gingerbread cookies?” Mike asks the room. 

“The what?” Steve asks turning around. 

“The gingerbread cookies for the gingerbread houses we’re making,” Dustin explains and sighs. “Steve, did you forget to make them?” 

Steve holds his hands up. “How was I supposed to remember to make them when no one told me to in the first place?” 

All the kids whine and grumble about how this is somehow Steve’s fault, and really he’s about two seconds away from kicking them all out.  

“Hey! Steve went out of his way to bake all these cookies for you, and this is how you repay him? By asking for more and getting upset when someone didn’t tell him of these plans in the first place,” Eddie says effectively guilting the kids into apologizing. 

Steve sighs when the mood in the room goes down. “When did you want to make these gingerbread houses?” 

“Today,” Mike snips back, but one look at Eddie, and he’s mumbling an apology. Eddie really needs to teach Steve how to do that. 

Steve pinches his nose then rests his hands on his hips, making a plan. “How about we do it tomorrow?” The kids and even the adults all start agreeing excitedly. “But! You will be coming here first, and helping me make the gingerbread so you can cut out the exact shapes you want for your houses, got it?” 

A general groan goes around the kitchen. 

“Keep it up and we’ll make you pitch in for the supplies,” Eddie warns them. 

The group’s attitude spikes through the roof, unbearably thankful for Steve once again. When their fake gratitude wears off, Steve turns back to Eddie.  

“Thank you for the help,” Steve says sincerely leaning slightly against Eddie’s side. 

“Anytime. I was thinking maybe we could replicate the Creel house to get back at them... maybe make a little model of my old trailer after it became a gate... Oh! How about a huge house shaped like a bat?” Eddie rambles on, tongue sticking out and eyes flickering around trying to find the worst idea. 

Steve laughs and nudges Eddie who stops his rambling to give Steve a blinding smile before squeezing another pipe of red frosting onto their cookies which looks suspiciously dick shaped. 

“You never said I couldn’t make a dick out of frosting,” Eddie protests. 

Steve’s starting to wonder how he ever would’ve made it through the holidays without him. 

Part three.

( Tag list for my lovely @eddiesbabe95 )

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 1

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

My eyes have been exploring the place ever since I arrived, still looking for someone to hit on and put to practice everything I learned this evening before I pulled some strength and finally got here. 

I've walked past this pub way too many times. Always filled with fancy people sharing interesting conversations while drinking a glass of the most expensive combination of alcohol, and low jazz music playing in the background to set the mood. So when one of the tips said "Go to one comfortable place, and put all the skills i taught you to test" the place I had to choose was pretty clear for me.

Although it's been one hour and a half -or three Cosmopolitans-, I'm still in the exact same spot. And I'm doing the exact same thing since I got here. I'm supposed to be reaching out to different people, hit here and there, and try to get a phone number for once. But I haven't found the guts to do it. For some reason, all dudes in here seem so... inaccessible? Could be it's not exactly them, but the process of reaching out to them right now seems so intimidating, I just can't find myself doing it.

Almost all of them are the same, anyway. Expensive shirts, pleated beige pants and loafers -although maybe I saw one of them wearing a brilliant pair of derby shoes. It's no help. I'm not attracted to either of them and, even if I were, I'm sure we'd have nothing to talk about. Maybe I should've gone to the pub in the other side of the street, where they serve you the best beer while blowing your ears with the hardest metal.

And actually, I'm just five minutes away from leaving and head to that place. Even if I don't end up getting someone's attention, I'll still enjoy the rest of the night by jamming to some music -not caring of how I look or how loud I seem.

This just isn't my place. Or so I thought.  

My eyes feel captured by a pair of pitch black eyes staring at me from the distance. And one quick look at him makes me wonder how the hell I didn't see him before, among all these people? He's the only one standing out with that bad boy aura.

When he gets caught looking, he doesn't look away. He just doesn't care. So I decide I won't care either, before I look at him from head to toe. He is carelessly resting his full sleeve tattooed arm over the counter, his fingers holding his glass filled with liquid. His other hand is resting inside the front pocket of his black cargo pants, that fit into his legs way too fine. My eyes keep going back up through his black t-shirt and silver chains, hanging around his neck. The perfect fit.

He's been following the move of my eyes over his body with his doe eyes, but he's far from bothered by it. Actually, the way he looks at me and throws a sided smile kinda convinces me he likes to have my attention right now. 

But he still doesn't move from that place, and the heavy environment growing where I'm sitting right now forces me to look away. It almost felt like I needed a short break, to pull myself together, before I decide what's the next move to make.

What did the video say?

"Different words can make a sentence" Yeah. No shit, Sherlock. No, it wasn't that. Something along the lines "Let the other person know you're interested, but don't make it seem like you're too desperate". No, that was later in the video, for sure. I'm missing the part where the dude gave tips to get up and head to the person you want to flirt with. 

God, I can't even remember. My mind seems to only be able to think about that vicious smile, and that lip ring just making it even more tempting to head where he is and play with it shamelessly.

Focus, Y/N.

I shake my head again, giving a sip to my drink before I turn to that hot stranger... Ha, who's now busy talking to a breathtaking brunette. The girl twirls her hair on her finger, tilting her head and swaying her hips. She's doing exactly what I should've done the moment we kept the eye contact for so long. 

Kudos to her confidence, that encouraged her to go and talk to the only interesting man in the whole pub. Although, if I had her body, I'd probably have that vast amount of confidence as well. No, actually not.

I'm so immersed in my own thoughts, so deep in my mind and my own rant, I'm not aware my eyes are still on the couple flirting on the counter. And when I do realize, it's way too late. His eyes catch mine in the middle of his conversation, he's speaking to her, but looking at me with a malicious smile.

I move my eyes away from them way too late. And probably he thinks I'm a weirdo. Or maybe he doesn't mind me at all, which is the most possible since he already has something else to drive his attention to. 

I give my drink a long last sip before taking the glass and heading to the middle of the counter, just to leave the empty glass there. Time to go back home, and feel sorry for myself another night. 

—Have a good night —the bartender smiles when he notices me.

—You too —I give her a smile.

The relaxing jazz music from the pub is replaced by honks and loud crowds from the street. Well, welcome back to New York City, the city that never sleeps and that will never let you catch a break. Unless you need a cab to drive you back home when you most need it. In that case, take the longest break and brace patience. 

I cross my arms over my chest, trying to warm myself a bit when my body finally realizes I'm in the middle of the street, when it's 15 degrees, and I'm only wearing a thin short sleeved blouse and a pair of jeans. I should've known better. When I arrived, it was still hot, and what I'm wearing was still appropriate for the weather. Now? Now it's the best outfit to kill yourself of hypothermia.

I should've stayed in tonight. Fuck that video. Fuck the creator. And fuck me for thinking it would work, when the previous sixteen videos made no change whenever I tried to open up and break my comfort zone. Fuck my shyness and fuck that cab that's prolonging this shitty night.

My mental rambling gets interrupted by a voice on my back.

—Do you need a ride?

[appleatcha]

About my groomer, again, lol

Was requested to tell this story again, so here we go! lol

I met my groomer (or, I guess you could argue my first groomer) in 2012 when I was 14. At 14 I knew I had an older brother, and had met him twice, but my family refused to allow any sort of long-term contact between my sisters and I and him. My sisters were in an after school program and so when I started high school in the 9th grade and was eligible, I joined too. I also had a 15 year old friend named Mary who decided to join, because she was friends with a few of the mentors in the program. The main being my (our, I would suspect) groomer, Jesse.

The summer program was like this: during the school year, you spend every Wednesday staying after school and getting tutoring. One Saturday a month, everyone takes a day trip to a college to check it out. One mentor comes along, and afterwards everyone gets $20 and gets to do something fun like run around the mall or go to the movies. During the summer, everyone stays on a college campus during the week, takes summer classes, and visits home on the weekends. 

Jesse was tall and had black hair and big ears and a bulbous nose. He was rail thin but somehow managed to have the beginnings of a beer gut. He was 21, and would stay in college for like 5 years. I imagine it was so he could stay as a mentor in the program and groom the young girls who were in it. Mary introduced us, but it was a slow start. He was more interested in Mary, most likely because he had already been grooming her. But I guess my air of depression and desperation and loneliness was too sweet for him. I was obsessed with this webcomic called Romantically Apocalyptic, about a troupe of outcasts surviving in a nuclear wasteland. There was the captain, aptly called Captain, and three of his stooges. Engie (who was the level-headed one), Mr. Snippy (who was the lovably grumpy one), and Pilot (who was the air-headed golden retriever, devoted to the Captain). They all wear gas masks instead of showing their faces.

During the first summer session, one night, Mary and I were sitting with Jesse as he manned the front desk by the entrance of the dorm house, and he brought up Romantically Apocalyptic. He said he, too, loved the comic. And I was naive and believed him. So we began to roleplay as the characters. He was Captain, Mary was Engie, and I was Pilot. Air-headed and devoted. And I was, instantly. I wrote “property of Captain” on the tread of my shoes. The whole summer, we would only interact in that way. He was the Captain and he would give us orders and we would follow. Mary wasn’t very interested in it, and Jesse lost a lot of interest in her. I think I was a much easier target. Mary began dating one of Jesse’s adult friends at this time, as well. 

At the end of the summer, the entire group goes on a trip. We went to Carowinds, a theme park. For the trip, you had to have one of the mentor’s phone numbers (because they let us run around without any supervision, back when things weren’t as strict as they are now). Jesse gave me his. When the program ended for the summer, we started texting back and forth.

Jesse told me that he felt like an older brother to me, and to message him with anything i needed advice with. I was very, very depressed and cut myself, but I heard my mom yelling at my oldest sister about how “people who cut themselves just do it for attention” when my sister told her she had thoughts of cutting, so I hid it like any teenager would. But I told Jesse. Jesse was the first one I told about my depression, and the first one I told about my self harm. His response was “I don’t think you cut yourself because you’re depressed. I think you do it because it turns you on.” And he introduced me to BDSM. That I was a masochist, and he knew because he was a sadist. He sent me a link to a BDSM test to “help me figure out what kinks I had”. And oh, surprise, he liked all the things I liked as well. We talked about it constantly from then. He even said that I liked gas masks so much because it was a kink, not out of artistic enthusiasm. 

One week, Mary said she was going to visit Jesse one night and invited me. Jesse worked at the local movie theater and she was going to stay after closing. I, of course, agreed. I told my parents I was spending the night with Mary and Mary told her mom that Jesse, the nice mentor boy from the summer program who happened to work at the theater, was going to drive us home after the movie was over. It just happened that the movie we wanted to see had the final showing, of course. Mary’s mom worked night shifts as a nurse, so she wouldn’t know that we weren’t going to be home after the movie. 

It was a showing of You’re Next, the horror film. In the film, the antagonists all wear masks. Jesse had texted me all day about how I was going to be so turned on during the movie. During the show, he snuck in and sat between Mary and me. He put his arm around me (not around Mary). During certain scenes with the antagonists he would squeeze my shoulder. After the showing, he had Mary and me help him close the theater. Afterwards, he told us that he was going to take us on a little urban exploration. It was December and it was freezing, with snow and ice. We parked by the train station (“The police will think the car is just from someone who took the train”), and he led us over to an old rail yard building. We went in through the window, but it was mostly uneventful. He was too worried about trespassing on federal property to stay long. But that was just he appetizer, he told us. 

We had to walk down the tracks a ways. The tracks led by the river and, half a mile up, under a bridge. We walked down to the bridge, where we were met with a steep wall of ice where the bridge met the land. We had to climb up the ice. I wanted to impress Jesse, so I climbed up without any assistance. Mary wanted to be fawned by him, so she struggled. Took about 10 minutes to climb up all in all. At the edge of the bridge was a dilapidated, half-burned yellow house. He was taking us inside of it. I don’t remember much of it, because at one point there was a hole in the ground of the second floor where the fire had eaten it up. He insisted he help us over, and held each one of us by the hips as we jumped. I found an old strip of camera film. For years I kept it stowed away. I might still, somewhere. Then we left, and Jesse insisted we run as far away from the house as quickly as possible, to avoid suspicion. He grabbed me by the hand and ran. He left Mary to straggle behind. We stopped in an alley after about 3 blocks and waited for Mary. As we did, he said my face looked cold, and took it in both hands, and leaned in close, and breathed into my face. The rest of the night, I forget.

Mary and my relationship was strained after that night. Jesse saw me as the better target, since she was still dating his friend, and he had stoked the flames of competition for his affection between us. We didn’t see him again until the next summer session. But he wouldn’t let that stop him.

The BDSM things kept getting more intense, until eventually, I brought up the idea of drinking each other’s blood. After that, he became obsessed with the idea of him cannibalizing me. Specifically, he had a fantasy in which he killed me, fucked my dead body, and then cannibalized me. He would recite it often, and he would make me recite it back to him even more often. He would also ask me every so often how much of my body i would be willing to let him take and eat while I was still alive. I got all the way to dedicating an entire leg to him before it was all said and done. This led to me being obsessed with the idea of “sacraficing” myself for a sexual sadist/murderer. I went by the online name “morgue rat” for a long time. 

Otherwise, I don’t remember much else. I think we were sophomores, but I cant really remember. Its hard to get the years and ages in line for some reason. That year, the end of summer trip was going to be the biggest in the programs history: we were going to New York City. That entire year leading up, we were all so excited. Mary and I had a dream of moving to New York City together. But then, a wrench was thrown into Jesse’s plans.

That February I began dating an online friends roommate. He was a German man named Paul. He was 20 or 21 and I was 14 or 15. We dated almost two years, and he broke up with me when I had just turned 17. We eventually became acquainted again, and he apologized for dating me as a minor, and now were close friends and we talk every day. Hes the most well-adjusted, normal man I have ever met in my life. But thats beside the point of this. I had started dating Paul because, well, he was willing to date me, where Jesse never even spoke about it even though I was sending him topless pictures and doing all the things a 15 year old girl does because she thinks it will get a guy to date her. When summer came around and the trip was looming, Jesse told me one day over text that he was going to kiss me on the trip. He was my Captain still and he wanted my first kiss. 

I told him no, I had a boyfriend, and I didn’t want to be a cheater. He said it didn’t matter. He was going to do it whether I liked it or not. I would learn that I liked it after it was done. I think he fully intended to try and fuck me on the trip. I was terrified the entire trip. Mary and me were getting more distant at this point, and so one morning when I told her I wasn’t in the mood to people watch, she snapped. She got pissed at me. She abandoned me and spent the rest of the trip doing the whole teenage girl “talking shit while looking obviously at me, and laughing loudly to make me jealous” shtick. I spent the rest of the 3 day trip sobbing alone. At that point, Jesse completely stopped talking to me as well. I wasn’t going to budge, and he had discarded me. On the ride home, Mary sat in Jesses lap the entire drive. She had sex with him a few weeks later after the program and Mary’s relationship with Jesse’s friend ended. After that, Jesse discarded her too.

The next year, Mary dropped out of the program. It was also Jesse’s last year in the program, as he was graduating. I had made friends with another girl in the program named Keisha. She said Jesse liked to come onto her too, but she was older than Mary and I and she didn’t buy it. But she said, it was fun to lead him on. Paul had left me the first week of the summer program, and I decided to join in on Keishas fun. I started texting Jesse again, and we would stay around him and flirt with him endlessly. We asked around the boys to see when Jesse was going to the pool, and we would go too, and push up our boobs and flirt with him. Keisha would ride on the pool floaties and make sex jokes. It didn’t do anything in the end, but we had fun.

[billconrad]

Bill’s Guide to Book Marketing

    I am a self-published author and have attempted to market my books, but the results have been less than successful. So why read a book marketing guide by somebody like me? The principles I will describe still apply, and I have made many mistakes that you will know how to avoid. Remember, you learn more from failure than from success. Does that mean I have learned a lot in my life? Hmm.

    At this point, you have written a book, had it professionally edited, a professional cover designed, an ISBN, an Amazon AISN, it’s formatted for ebook and print on demand. It is for sale on Amazon, Kubo, Apple Play, Google reads, Smashwords, Barns, and Nobel. Wow, quite an accomplishment! The problem is that 200+ people a month also released their first book. (Plus, established books are re-released as “new.” So annoying!) Many new books belong to authors with multiple books, and their readers are eager to read more. YOUR GOAL is to convince people to click “buy it now,” and here are the basic book marketing steps (not necessarily in the proper order):

To get attention, you must attack this problem on several fronts. Let’s start with the most important one. YOU NEED AMAZON REVIEWS! LOTS OF THEM! The first part of the plan is to send a copy of your work to every friend you have. Then, two months later, pester them for a review. This initial foundation of positive reviews is critical to your success.

Put your book info on Goodreads and any other site hosting information about your work.

Get a disposable email account like Yahoo. Search for free book promotion sites and put your book there. They will need a bio, picture, ISBN, amazon link, AISN number, Kubo, Apple Play, Google Reads, Smashwords, and Barns Nobel link. Important tip. I have one file with all this information, including all the links. Note that these free sites will spam the email account you provide to death. Here are a few areas to check out:

Sneaky tip. Go to Barns and Nobel every week and load your book onto all their Nook readers. Perhaps write a five-star review… Perhaps one on each tablet… Perhaps if you are on vacation… Perhaps if you have friends or relatives in other cities…

Should you buy book reviews? I found one site (I will not provide the link because it looks shady) where you can buy Amazon reviews. $300 gets up to 10 (why not an exact number?) badly written reviews. Should you do this?

    I do not recommend buying reviews unless you use a professional review service ($1K) that Amazon will allow a “review transfer.” Also, Amazon will likely find and sue these shady sites. Then Amazon will ban all the authors. Or they could try to shake you down. “Hey, you paid us for a review. Now pay us $$, or we will tattle to Amazon!”

If you read and followed my previous blog, you have written at least 200 book reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. Consider posting these reviews to Barns and Nobel, and Kubo. Your new goal is to get more reviews, and there is a group of motivated people who will do a review exchange. Authors!

    How to find willing (desperate) authors? First, look for new books on Amazon with a few reviews. Then, comb through them to see if they have a website or some other external way (Facebook) of contacting the author. Email/message them and ask them to do a review exchange. This means you offer to buy their book/ebook on Amazon, read their book, and write a review on Amazon and Goodreads. The other (potential) author will look at your 200 reviews and feel they are getting a good deal.

    Is this ethical? Yes, because you are only doing a review exchange. No money is changing hands. Both people paid for the book and are writing an honest review. But, do not contact authors through Goodreads or Amazon because both sites monitor their internal communications for review exchanges.

Look for Facebook review exchange groups.

Keep a log of all your reviews. Keep in yearly contact with your old review exchange authors. That way, you can contact them again when you come out with a new book.

Develop a dedicated website for your work. On it will be your books, your extended biography, a way to contact you, sample pages of your book, updates, and your blog. Many great website hosting companies have great online free website building programs—for example, Godaddy.

    Of course, I chose not to use a free online website builder. Why? I am old school and wanted to make a site on my computer that I could endlessly edit offline. My other motivation was that if the hosting company did not work out (like upping their cost), I could move my = domain to any other web hosting company. Yes, I am a control freak.

    So, my quest began. My first stop was to buy a copy of the gold standard for website development, Microsoft Front Page. To my utter surprise, it is no longer supported. What the heck? Well, I still had the silver standard Corel website creator. Wow, it has become awful. So, I went through every program from Adobe, Google, and many others. Pure junk. (How do companies make their sites? I do not know.) Fortuitously, I found a free program called Rocketcake. It was easy to use, fast, and produced excellent results. The downside is the lack of power. (It did not support splashy features. Only basic website stuff.) But there was an exciting upside. It generates tiny webpages that display lightning fast.

    There was another benefit to Rocketcake that no other website builder had. It (accurately) showed how my website looked on mobile devices, and I could tweak the pages to look good on all platforms. Godaddy and other online-generated web pages look awful on small devices. Do people browse the web on their phones? Hmm. Perhaps there was some logic to my crazy decision.

    Then I needed a hosting company and found WHP. Incidentally, WHP is the least expensive, and their service is decent. Coincidence?

Get a Facebook personal account and then make a separate page for your author’s activities. Make it look professional by examining what other authors have made their page look like.

Generate buzz on popular social sites groups like Twitter and Instagram. How does this work? I do not know. Twitter and Instagram are not my scene, but I know there are promoting guides on these sites.

Send out free books/ebooks. Several sites let you post your work for free to generate buzz. KDP select allows you to do this, but in my case, fifteen people downloaded my book and… Nothing.

There are a few (odd) free sites. The deal is that if you post an Amazon review, you get to read more free books. The problem is that all reviews read “…good book… I posted this review to claim the free book on XXX site, and this review is of my own volition.” What the heck? Stay away from those sites. Amazon will eventually take down all those phony reviews and punish the author.

Hire a publicist. I have investigated several and failed to find a good one. Why? When you hire somebody, you need a measure of their success. “You are a housepainter? Can you give me the address of a recently painted house so I can look at it?” Makes sense. “You are a publicist. Can you show me a book that somebody paid you $100 to promote, and they got $1000 in sales? You can’t?” Hmm.

    I find publicists are glorified spammers. They take your $ and send out spam, Twitter spam, Instagram spam, text spam, website banners, or other spammy muck. There is no way they can directly show how our hard-earned $$ leads to reader interest or sales. Plus, spam angers potential customers.

    I read stories of miracle publicists on the Facebook group Writers Helping Writers. After inquiring with the author about them and contacting the publicist, I learned they were riding on the coattails of a successful book.

    Side note. There is a business here, but I have yet to crack the nut that will lead to successful promotion.

Start a blog on your website, Facebook, Goodreads, and any other site you can find. Keep your blog fresh, post at least once a week, and mention your book often. Your topics should be books, writing, life, and light topical subjects—no heavy stuff like politics.

Make a YouTube promotion video of your book. Or beg your famous YouTube friend who knows the trade. The problem is that ~10K videos come out weekly, making it hard to stand out.

There are Facebook groups for authors and books. For example, Writers Helping Writers. Post as often as you can, but don’t be a pest, and do not directly plug your book, or you will be booted off.

There are online reading groups. Tread lightly when you make your plug so they don’t kick you off.

Pay for an advertising campaign on Amazon to up your search ranking. Paying them seems counterintuitive. Amazon is supposed to do this for free because they are the retailer. If they promote new books and authors, they will sell more books.

    Alas, no. Amazon makes you fork over money to up your search rankings. I have not tried paying Amazon because I want 100 reviews first. Nobody will buy an unreviewed book, no matter how often it appears in searches.

Do an advertising campaign on Barns and Nobel or Kubo. They seem to be much better at promoting books.

Keep a record of all your advertising efforts for taxes and understanding what works and what does not.

Last but not least, write more books. The more you have, the more you can market on the same dime. It only takes one success! “Hey, I loved Bill’s book Interviewing Immortality. Why not read his other book, Pushed to the Edge of Success or Cable Ties.” See what I did there? I snuck in a plug. Plug, plug, plug! Everywhere you can! This is a numbers game!

    Unfortunately, that’s all I have about book promotion, and I feel your anger. “There have to be more options. When I search on ‘book promoting,’ I get a hundred hits.”

    Let’s explore what these sites offer. 90% do two things. First, they spam. Do you read spam? Do you want your brilliant book to be associated with that kind of “gray” marketing? Second, they “tweet to 10,000 followers.” How does this help you? Having 10,000 nobody’s Tweet to 10,000 nobody’s. Do these people even speak English? Are computers tweeting to computers? Where is the proof they did what they claim? A computer printout? An angry letter from Twitter telling them to stop spamming?

    When paying for advertising or promoting, understand the Return On Investment. This is the relationship for advertisement payments and your profit. All established marketing companies 100% understand this question, and 40% can competently answer it. If they cannot, you are wasting your money.

    You may find a website that offers to promote your book on their “heavily visited site.” When you pay, you will see your book on their front page. Here is the issue. The only place readers go to find out about what books to read is Goodreads or Smashwords. (Umm, perhaps Amazon.) They do not care about other sites. Those “heavily visited sites” only exist to extract money from authors. If you look, you will see they all look the same, and I suspect one company runs them.

    Many sites offer package deals. A combination of the Tweet/spam/put your book on their worthless site. Or they “manage” your Amazon advertising campaign. Or they “promote you on Google.” You can pay Google and Amazon directly to up your rank and do not need help.

    Side note. If you have a unique title like Interviewing Immortality (see, I plugged my book again), then it will usually pop up first. Having your book for sale on many sites greatly helps. For example, I pay nothing, and my book is the first hit when I google “Interviewing Immortality.” See, I plugged my book a third time. This is a numbers game!!

    I was Facebook messaged today by a guy who wanted to “up my brand awareness.” Here is his run-on sentence pitch:

    I will do a strategic awareness your brand on some high-score social media platforms to increase awareness of your brand, generate real, active, and organic traffic from any country of your choice (USA, UK, Germany, Spain), and so on targeting those who will be particularly interested in the genre of book of your book . You will also gain a wide range of other effective results through my work.

     “High-score social media platforms” = SPAM And the mathematically backed return on investment report is… Did you spot the extra space before the period?

    What about book bloggers? They certainly can promote your work. The problem is that they require $$ without guaranteeing they will even read your book. Plus, they are arrogant and will give you a rotten review even after you pay. If you read/watch one of their negative reviews, you will see their sense of pride as they tear a book apart. Study their online content first, and be careful!

    What about getting your book on a list of “100 outstanding books you have to read.” Hard to say, but it is worth investigating. Make sure you are not paying for this option. Your work should stand on its own.

    In 2021 somebody reached out to interview me on the radio! Of course, I was interested!!! Turns out… For only $60, they would turn my book cover into a 3D animation that loops on a YouTube video. The audio (read by a computer) was me answering (over email) six questions I asked myself.

    I searched YouTube and found several videos posted by the person who messaged me. She uploaded the first in 2015. Guess how many views it got by 2021? Two! This person’s most popular video (an odd religious rant in English and Italian) received eight views. (It was eight because I accidentally clicked on it twice.) The lesson is to be careful. Many people want to separate you from your cash.

    Wait, I know what you are thinking. “Bill probably does not know a thing about internet marketing because his sales are in the toilet.” Well, I am not bragging, but I do.

    The entire purpose of those patents was to define, clarify, justify, quantify, and improve one number. Return On Investment (ROI) And, if my boneheaded partner did not have a mental breakdown because he feared success, I would be a multi-billionaire. Yes, this is 100% true. Did I mention he was a BONEHEAD!!!!! I want to repeat it. John, you are a complete BONEHEAD!!!!! Hey blog readers, thanks for letting me vent.

    I know, not inspiring you. Book promoting is a tough road. More challenging than selling a product or service. I started this journey with the idea that I would instantly get popular (because I wrote a fantastic book), and the checks would roll in. I now understand how profound this fantasy was. Yet, things are not as bad as they seem. You now know the pitfalls, the questions to ask, where to market, and how much effort is required.

You’re the best -Bill

April 08, 2023

 Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

 Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

 Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

 Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

 These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.