#i deleted my stan twitter and never looked back lol

[feastingonchrist]

i have been thinking about how i really used to waste my mid teens and very early twenties pretty much "worshiping" celebrities. Like the idolatry was off the charts crazy. I had hoards of photos of them in my camera rolls and had multiple fanpages. They really were like gods to me. I even called them "god" as a half joke. Until i found the One True God. Jesus Christ. It's crazy to look back on. Now, i couldn't care less about celebrities or pop culture. it also doesn't help that it's boring now, too. I still have a soft spot in my heart for those celebrities and their music, but i really don't engage with them or their music anymore (maybe a few songs/albums depending on the person, if the music is appropriate and if i don't feel convicted by it). Most of that came naturally. But there was one celebrity in particular whose music i felt i needed to give up a year or two ago. I felt convicted about it for a while, even though the songs were appropriate. I didn't want to do that at all. while that pained me to do so, i know i made the right decision. if i hear any songs randomly from back then i will enjoy them for a moment but that's all. knowing myself, i'd end up getting attached again if i dove back into their discography for nostalgia purposes and i can't have that happen for my own sake. it can be hard at times to miss all of it too, if i'm being honest. so i truly just have to love them from a distance and appreciate the fun that i had back then! it's really easy for me to become attached to celebrities/things but thankfully God has kept me grounded enough to not have that happen. I only fear Him and worship Him. My identity is in Christ. I can't put my trust or find purpose in anyone but Him.

[demonsfate]

i've never seen a fandom hate and spite their own mc more than the tekken fandom. i was browsing r/Tekken one day for tips on how to beat lili and unsurprisingly i found a post where people kept disrespecting him on his OWN BIRTHDAY. seriously, as someone who is a diehard stan of kazuya mishima and sasuke uchiha (i loved both of them since i was a kid) even those two get more respect than jin - the naruto fandom on reddit never straight up disrespected sasuke on his birthday.

worst part of it all is that jin got basically the same treatment as luke from star wars and captain america in marvel comics - he was just ooc as fuck in tekken 6 and his characterization in that game completely contradicts tekken 3-5 jin. it can easily be fixed too by just saying he got brainwashed by azazel (like how nina got brainwashed by ogre). jin fans get called whiny for trying to retcon or fix their own favorite, but side character fans (ex. paul, law, etc) get a fix their own fav and be called "the best writers in all of fiction". i think i also remember seeing someone say they hope jin's va gets terminal c*ncer and dies so the writers could have miguel kill him off and then replace him with kazuya or lars as the new mc while xiaoyu fucks hwoarang or something (i checked to see if it was still there, but they probably deleted their twitter account).

why can't the tekken fandom just do what voltron stans do and ignore canon while making their own?...yes, everyone and their grandma knows tekken story has gone down the shitter since post tekken 5. so then instead of saying "Tekken story sucks and no one cares about lore in fighting games" for the 100th time how about fucking make your own au's and fanfic.

honestly it's hard to look thru any jin content without a joke about tk6, or straight up bitter haters. i'm not saying every jin post has a comment with that content, but there's a lot that does. reddit is probs the worst place for jin hate too as i see it there the most. heck, i get hate for being a jin main. usually when they don't agree with one of my takes, they point out me being a jin main and how we're all retarded or some shit. (alisa & jun are now more of my mains, but that was back then when i still listed jin as my main lmao) so whilst you're still gonna come across jin hate on places like twitter or even here, it's best to steer away from reddit 'cos it's most egregious there.

yeah. most normal fandoms do just ignore canon, or if they can't ignore canon 'cos it's canon, they acknowledge it's trash and purpose ways it could've been handled better. but the tekken fandom isn't like that. they're insistent on jin being a fucker head because it happened in one game. and yeah, i have seen ppl say jin fans are either whiny or losers for wanting to say he was brainwashed and not hold him responsible for his actions. and it's like, yeah, i approve of holding characters responsible for their actions. but the problem with jin is that his character should've never been written to commit those actions to begin with - i'm not gonna care to hold a character responsible when they were out of character. i'm just gonna criticize the writing.

also maybe you saw that on a message i already answered? there was another anon that also told me something similar that their sister or friend was praying for that in a church lol. i dunno if you're the same anon or not (as you both have similar takes regarding the treatment of jin's character)

i think the reason why tekken fans have a harder time ignoring the Bad Parts of canon compared to fandoms like marvel, star wars, or certain animation is because of the "stories in fighting games don't matter" saying that's popular. it gives people the mentality that they shouldn't care about the story as much... yet ironically caring about it as they're mad at jin for being the Hope of Mankind lmao.

[jeonqkooks]

Incoming rant…a few months ago I took a break from all social media because it was really taking a toll on my mental health. I’m just now logging into my accounts but still cautious about how much time I spend on them. I know I missed a lot but I’m not sorry I took a break. I got to see Yoongi in concert in April and then closed up shop not too long after. I hate how solos have have been acting since BTS started chapter 2. All the fighting and victimizing of each member. Attacking Jimin because he got #1 on BB? Make it make sense. I hate how so many people have treated V and Jennie regarding his dating “scandal”. Real thing or media play, it still feels like an invasion of their privacy. the fan wars this fueled and the slut shaming of this girl? Disgusting. It made any social media platform a genuinely miserable to be. I haven’t missed any of that.

But I’d missed some of the friends I made on socials. When I opened tumbler you were one of the first I looked for because I missed you and let me tell you how fast and hard my stomach fell through my ass when I saw your “goodbye” post! I gasped, I gagged and the bottom dropped out lol. I’m so glad that you aren’t actually leaving but I’m still a little worried about you! I know I missed a lot…and I don’t want to pry into your personal life or make you talk about anything you are not comfortable with. I guess I just missed you and I’m really sorry that you may be going through a hard time too. Also maybe I’m being a little too dramatic and reading into something that isn’t there lol

i assume you’re talking about twitter bc i swear people on twitter are the worst. stan twitter is literally a hellhole and no one can convince me otherwise 🤒 that kind of behavior made me delete my twt acc TWICE (after i deleted my acc the first time i was like ok maybe it’s not THAT bad. then i made another acc and ok it WAS that bad lol now i’ve learned my lesson and i am never coming back to twt lmao)

this is smth i was thinking about literally 2 days ago. maknae line stans are So Much More Rabid honestly 😐 hyung line stans i feel like are generally a lot more rational? idk maybe that’s just bc every time i used to go on twt i’d just see maknae line stans tear other people (and each other) apart…

good for you for taking a break honestly! and i’m glad you got to go to yoongi’s concert! :’) always prioritize yourself and your mental health. kpop fandoms can take such a toll on you sometimes

the last part of your ask had me staring out the window for a good minute there cuz :(((( yeah when i made the post i was feeling kinda off about quite a few things, and tumblr then didn’t feel like the escape that it used to, hence the break. but it’s slowly starting to get better now, mostly bc of the interactions on the blog lately that made me realize how much i missed you guys yk :’)

[purplesurveys]

1649

1. What are you doing at this exact moment? (I want details, people!) I’m taking this survey while sitting on the couch in the living room, which we FINALLY got professionally cleaned after Agi must have peed 47549835734 times on it; and I currently have Jimin’s Like Crazy playing on loudspeaker from my phone right beside me. Dogs are resting in front of me having just finished their dinner. Am also cautiously watching the time because I plan on working again by 10 PM so I can finish a couple of slides on a Powerpoint I’m in the middle of finishing.

2. The one song you will never get sick of? Additionally, any song recommendations? I really really feel this way the most about Namjoon’s Closer.

3. Name everything you have ever wanted to be (occupations and random things, like animals!) Writer, journalist, housewife, lawyer, art curator, historian, mom, bird (so I can fly and travel), dog (so that I never have to work lol).

4. What is the best fanfic you have ever read (lmao) There were a couple of AJ/Punk fanfics I enjoyed back in the day, but sadly the author took them down (and I think even deleted their account altogether) so my memory of the story is lost to time. More recently, I’m obsessed with this AO3 writer’s Namjin works; I go back to my favorite scenes from time to time to give me the giddies lol.

5. Name every fandom you have ever been in! Beyoncé, wrestling if that counts as a fandom, One Direction, BTS. I like and have liked a number of other things too like Paramore, THAT British YouTuber crew, and Good Mythical Morning, but I wouldn’t say I was ever active in any of those fandoms; I just enjoy ‘em on my own time.

6. What is the saddest movie you have ever watched? Additionally, movie recommendations? Requiem For A Dream, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Life Is Beautiful, and ROMAN FUCKING HOLIDAY holy shit the last scene amazes and pisses me off every time lmao. 

As for movie recs, I’d also go for Roman Holiday.

7. If you could direct your own TV show/movie, what would it be like? A snoozefest...I like to keep my life uneventful.

8. The cringiest account/fan account you’ve ever made? (oh god) The first one that I made when I was around 11; it was my Twitter account for everything Beyoncé. I would’ve given my wrestling Tumblr as an answer too, but in retrospect I don’t think it was necessarily cringe; I was just being the modern-day fangirl/stan before stan culture was even a thing. Meaning to say the shit I posted was definitely more out-there than anything back in 2014, but if I look at that Tumblr now (it’s still alive!), it honestly holds up, lmao. Looks like every other stan account that we otherwise have nowadays.

9. What is your aesthetic? Describe it to us in list form. Hmm okay I’ll try but I’m honestly so over the place idek if I have one.

K-pop merch

A wall of custom Polaroid printouts of BTS members

Dogs

Coffee and a pastry

Laptop stickers

Museums

Peach soju

Oversized t-shirts and sweaters and baggy joggers

Bucket hats

Printed socks

Muted shades

Listening to lofi or piano music at 2 AM

10. What is one thing that has been bugging you recently that you just need to talk about? That I am so bad with money.

11. One thing you’ve always wished you could do / be good at? Play the piano.

12. Put a picture of your best (or your worst!) fanart/drawing ever! I don’t draw.

13. The best book you have ever read? Additionally, any book recommendations? I haven’t read any that I’d consider an all-time favorite. 14. Most exotic food you’ve ever had? Crocodile sisig.

15. Post a picture of the weirdest/funniest text conversation you’ve ever had! Idk if there is one. I have lots of funny convos with friends, but I’m not sure if any of them would be the funniest.

16. Random fun fact about you! I blocked Zayn Malik for like five years after he left the band. LOL

17. What do you think of me? Ahh! Idek who you are!

18. Do you have any fake names? Pseudonyms? Idk, stage names, street names? If not, what would it be? Nope. 19. What is your idea of a perfect life? One where you’ve reached a level of contentment in a way that you’re comfortable and happy with every decision you make, and face mistakes with a lesson and an, “On to the next.”

20. Finish the sentence: “Oh, to be a _____” Nepo baby? Lmao

21. Is there a stranger you would like to meet again? Sure, the nice fan sitting beside me at Seonho’s fanmeet who gave me a slogan when she saw that I didn’t manage to get one.

22. Post a picture of you/someone you know doing something weird. Do it, you won’t. Coward. (Obviously the pic doesn’t have to have a face in it) I would but my phone is at 1% and the charger is upstaaaaaaaairs, lol.

23. Is there a place you feel homesick for even though you’ve never been there? Well, no. I don’t think the homesickness would be genuine that way.

24. Basic, but what’s your sign? Taurus.

25. What sign do you act like? What sign do you wish you were? None of these astrology questions plz.

26. What is one unusual thing you do? Surveys? < Agree.

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[blurglesmurfklaine]

What picture are people on Twitter getting mad at Darren for??

this is beneath the cut because it got really long (sorry) and there are also trigger warnings for mentions of police brutality.

I honestly couldn’t find it if I tried because I deleted Twitter a while ago, and wouldn’t know how to Google it, but it’s basically a picture of him pretending to having sex with one of his friends who looks like he may or may not be sleeping? I saw the picture once, and I honestly couldn't tell, but it looked like he could be awake??? and Twitter is losing its fucking mind calling him a “rapist” and shit like that and demanding he apologize for a picture he didn’t even post! (His friend posted it)

Is it his most tasteful picture? No, but from what I understand it’s like seven years old and also clearly a joke??

I have a lot of qualms with cancel culture (it’s the reason Jenna Marbles left YouTube so I’m mad about that lol) but the biggest thing is that on Twitter, it never seems to be about actually educating people for the better, or a real pursuit of social justice. It’s always this race to be the most visibly “holier than thou” “politically correct” (which, if you ask me, sometimes goes so far left they make a circle and come around back to the right. Looking at you, misogynists who want to police what content (queer) women can and cannot consume). Their political justice pursuits never seem to be based on actually caring. And if it is, it’s just for attention.

For example, Darren recently apologized for a tweet some (and I will also say, most of the people demanding the apology were not black.) thought was racist or racially insensitive. When he replied to one of the loudest voices on Twitter who called for an apology, the person running the account subsequently tweeted shit like “omg he knows I’m alive” and talked about being in their “Darren notice” era.

Something similar happened yesterday and days before, when Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all charges for the murder of George Floyd. (Which even then, people would say things like “I’m so glad he was convicted” and assholes would reply: “so you’re glad a black man died?”)

Darren tweeted: “✊🏼”

That’s it, that’s the fucking tweet. And then people started demanding he delete it, and the other half demanding he apologize for it and calling him a “white supremacist”. (Which pisses me off even more because... Despite the fact that. He’s not fucking entirely white?? BUT I DIGRESS!!!)

Apparently, a white fist in the air is a symbol of white supremacy, and people were tweeting shit like “I’m so disappointed in you” “how can you stan him after something like this?” “I’m so disgusted” blah blah fucking blah.

First off, if you don’t know enough about Darren to know that he’s not a fucking white supremacist? God I don’t even know how to finish that lmao.

Second, if your breaking point is a god damn emoji, you need to get the fuck off the internet. Whenever I use the fist in the air emoji to show my solidarity for the BLM movement, I don’t use a black fist. Because I’m not fucking black. I use this one: ✊🏽 because I’m mexican. I’m brown (okay so I’m a little less brown since quarantine but give me a day in the sun and the melanin will come back my dudes). Darren is not black, he’s tan, so he used a tan fist to show his solidarity and I think the reaction from glee Twitter was honestly gross and disgusting and awful because guess what: you are taking attention away from the fact that Derek Chauvin, the murderer of a black man, was convicted, AND that a black child was murdered by the police, to yell at a Filipino-Irish man that he’s a white supremacist.

(I beleive he deleted the tweet and then people were calling him a coward for not owning up to it. so he truly cannot win lmao)

That’s where the fucking picture comes in. I could be wrong, because I only get bits and pieces from a group chat I’m in and I’m not actually on the site anymore, but after the emoji tweet is when the picture was dug up. A years old picture that he didn’t even post, just to incite more hate and pretentiousness and senseless polarization???

If you're so "dissapointed" and "disgusted" in him, then fucking leave. Go. Don't stan someone whose morals you so vocally don't agree with. You no NOT have to be a fan of someone who supposedly causes you so much distress.

I also never thought of it before a friend I met this summer pointed it out, but why do we act like celebrities have to be held to a higher moral standard than everyone else? Why are they not allowed to make mistakes, and learn and grow like the rest of us? Because they act or sing??? Lord knows I was ignorant as fuck in 2011 and it fucking SHOWS in my old posts and shit. The only difference is that I didn't have thousands of people watching my every move.

Like fuck. No wonder he never goes on social media anymore. I wouldn't either. i can't imagine how fucking overwhelming and anxiety inducing that is. Let him fucking breathe.

It’s stupid. It’s all stupid. I actually felt like I was having my brain fried on that app. No thank you, I’ll leave it to slow cook like a roast in crock pot here on tumblr thank you very much.

TL;DR: Twitter is up in arms about an old picture of Darren pretending to have sex with his friend and I don’t trust anything Twitter says anymore because everything on there is for clout.

[earlgreytea68]

Tagged by @carbonbased000 and @pyrchance

1. why did you choose your url?

Many years ago, EarlGreyTea was the name I chose for the late, great Television Without Pity. I didn’t want something fandom-specific, so I chose the name of my favorite tea. I only found it later that it’s a Star Trek reference, oops. EarlGreyTea was already taken on LJ, so I added the 68, which is my birthday, and I’ve kept the name on every platform ever since.

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I actually have several, but I don’t really use any of them, except the armes4eva blog, which I sometimes post interior design and Sebastian Stan things to lol

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

oh, goodness, I think 2012. Yes, I just checked, 2012.

4. do you have a queue tag?

No, I can’t be bothered lol. The only time I use the queue is when I do my year-end round-up (which didn’t happen this year because I was too depressed alas).

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Right after “The Reichenbach Fall” aired, I started writing “Sherlock” fic. But I was having a hard time finding active Sherlock communities on LJ. When I asked about it on Twitter, many people were like, “Oh, you’ve got to go to Tumblr, that’s where fandom is now.” And so that’s what I did!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

That’s my icon! I’ve had it for years. I wonder if I can even remember how long. It’s a picture I took of a teapot and teacup I was served at breakfast outside by the pool at a fancy hotel in Las Vegas. I haven’t been to Las Vegas in a long time, let me see, it must have been...11 or 12 years ago.

7. why did you choose your header?

Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass is basically my favorite book (I count them as one). The older I get, the more relevant I find those books to what adulthood turned out to be like. So, anyway, it’s a quote from “Looking-Glass,” it’s what the Red Queen tells Alice, and I say it *all the time.*

8. how many mutuals do you have?

I do not even know how to figure that out, I fail Tumblr lol

9. how many followers do you have?

7,359

10. how many people do you follow?

Why don’t I see this information??? In the beginning, I tried to follow back everybody who followed me, and that was how I learned that at the time there was a limit to how many people you can follow. So I stopped following back at that point (this was years ago). Then I realized I could follow people again because I guess people had deleted their Tumblrs or whatever, so I’ve tried to start following people back again, but I’m kind of sporadic about it. Anyway, all this is to say that I probably follow a lot of people.

11. have you ever made a shitpost?

I suppose I will let all of you be the judge of that!

12. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I mostly just glance at it for twenty minutes or so a night. Sometimes I might scroll on mobile during the day, and it’s actually my favorite social media platform to just scroll endlessly through if I’m feeling anxious and need to calm down. But if I’m having a normal stress-level day, I just kind of glance it over a little to see what’s going on in fandom-world.

13. did you ever fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I don’t think so.

14. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I don’t do any of the chain-mail-ish ones. However, I am superstitious enough that I always reblog the good luck ones. They have never actually had an effect that I can see but why tempt fate! I’m not going to turn down luck!

15. do you like tag games?

Love them.

16. do you like ask games?

Love these, too.

17. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

“Tumblr famous” seems like it should be an oxymoron lol

18. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I’m sure they’re all awesome, but sorry, I’ve got no notes to pass “Do you like me? circle y or n!” 

Tagging whoever feels like doing this! And I guess I’ll also tag @godless-lunatic @thisisnotjuli @thumbllebee @unicornshatetacos @jinxwild19

[mariaiscrafting]

can i ask why you dislike dream? im not being passive agressive or something lol i am genuinely curious

S’all good, kinda figured you weren’t being, and a lot of people have asked me this lol. There are so many reasons, and I’ve said this so many times already, but I’ll try to go over some of the main things I can remember:

1) Arrogance: kinda put me off how he’s always responded to criticism. Always kinda had an air of superiority about shit, and it never really bothered me on its own because I think lots of CCs are arrogant & I’m arrogant myself, but combined with all of the following, it became a reason for me to dislike him lol

2) Manipulation of his audience: look, I kinda always knew that CCs with huge fanbases, especially CCs who grow this quickly, have some kind of grasp of how to treat and foster their audience to their greatest advantage. I’ve always been wary of CCs that put on soft or nice personalities, especially since the whole Shane Dawson debacle. But with Dream, it’s been a whole other thing ever since his cheating response video, and I’ve never been able to see him in a good light in regard to how he responds to his fans, ever since. I went into it in a lot more detail back when I first watched the video, the day it dropped, but I’m too exhausted to scrounge that post up, so I’ll summarize: that video had a very specific strategy that he used to victimize himself and appeal to his fans’ compassion for him, and after rewatching the video for the third time that day, it felt gross and calculated to me. The way that he focuses very little on the actual mathematical part of his argument. The way he frames the issue of the mods having favoritism or bias. It was already proven on Reddit and throughout Twitter that the numbers the mods looked at were for good reason, and not because they just wanted to pick the numbers that made Dream look the worst, but that’s how he framed the argument. When I logged onto Twitter and Tumblr that day, there were thousands of fans who had latched onto what he said in the latter half of that video and coming to Dream’s defense, and that’s kinda when it hit me: this guy fucking knows what he’s doing, and he’s doing it well, and I really really dislike it. There’s about a hundred other ways he manipulates his audience, including not coming to people’s defenses when huge chunks of his audience attack them (even though the people had respectful and correct criticisms of him), defending stans so adamantly in the face of antis, and posting periodic alt tweets that help garner the illusion that he super cares about his fans; but, that cheating response video was the major red flag, for me.

3) Cheating & lying: as is likely no surprise to y’all, I think Dream cheated lmao. At first, I was ecstatic that he had actually made a detailed response video and put out a report with the help of an actual professional, but as I read up on his supposed statistical argument and dissected the parts of his argument that felt off to me, I realized maybe he had cheated. Talking to some STEM major friends of mine, who weren’t into MCYT but had obviously heard about the whole debacle because they like Twitter and Minecraft, kinda put the nail in the coffin for me. I’m not nearly smart enough or have a good enough memory to detail exactly why I think he cheated on this blog, right now, in April, but essentially: his main argument relied upon claiming mod bias, instead of a sound mathematical or statistical argument; there’s no way of proving that the world files he provided to the mods and in the open source weren’t altered; the statistical problems he points out (i.e., stopping effect) don’t actually skew the original mods’ model nearly as much as his supposed PhD guy would say; and the odds he comes up with might not be nearly as impossible as 1 in 7 trillion, but they still come up to around 1 in 100 million, which is still fucking ridiculous, considering that there are only, like, 120 million people in the world who play Minecraft.  Not impossible, but laughable that he expects people to believe that. But... I guess they did, lmao. The thing that peeved me the most about the whole thing was the adamant lying lmao. When you look at the situation from the perspective of “dream cheated,” you realize just how fucked up all his Twitter responses, his adamance in streams and that video, and the general mood among his friends is... idk man, it’s just highly fucked.

4) Relationship with stans: look, there are significant numbers of  his fans that take part in Twitter cancelling vendettas, who spread around information about other CCs and their fellow fans that is false and meant to villify them, etc., and he never fucking says anything. It really, really bothers me. There are too many instances to enumerate, but a few that have caught my eye were when Dream stans would attack Techno, prior to their battle and when a Native American woman politely explained why he shouldn’t use Native music, he responded and said he wouldn’t, but tons of stans continued to attack her in her replies for “being so harsh/mean.” Like, he knows that just one word from him will make his fandom follow his beck and call. All it would’ve taken was one fucking word. There are so many fucking people that have been harrassed off of social media platforms because of the hivemind that is dttwt, for christ’s sake.

5) Reddit posts: All of the above were reasons for me to mildly dislike the guy prior to the Reddit posts, but they weren’t really enough to make me stop posting about c!Dream or reblogging fanart or reading DNF fics or watching Manhunts. I kinda just clowned on the guy, answered the occasional ask about the cheating thing or something related, and left it at that. The Reddit posts not only pissed me off for their content, but for the lying, as well. Do you think I fucking cared about him cheating at speedrunning Minecraft, of all games? Fuck no. What I cared about was the adamant lying that went into the whole debacle. Kinda the same with the Reddit posts. I’m one to usually forgive creators who acknowledge past errors, obviously. It is creators who try to brush stuff off, or even worse, create an elaborate lie to cover up allegations, that put me off a fuck ton. This is the reason I could never be comfortable with watching Pewdipie after I realized all the shit he had brushed off, and it’s now the reason I can’t go back to watching Dream. There is so much evidence that points to guilt, including but not limited to: his first move when the slideshow dropped (before posting to Twitter) being deleting as many old Discord messages as he could, the contradiction between him at first denying the account was his at all then changing the story to say he shared it with a friend, the wording and phrasing in the political posts being almost identical to the non-political posts that were clearly him (i.e., the one that explains his demographics perfectly), and the timing of the political posts (some of them being posted mere minutes after posts that were verifiably him, like the picture of Patches to the cats subreddit). People can claim that he’s likely changed, and what this it matter, as long as politics don’t affect his work now, but I can’t believe this fundamental misunderstanding of why bigotry in entertainment matters. I’ve always had a problem with the adoration this fandom has for cishet white men, and the constant criticism of non-cishet, non-white, non-men, but this really feels like the final slap in the fucking face. It’s like everyone truly believes that it doesn’t matter, that his beliefs couldn’t have possibly affected the way he’s treated fellow CCs in his circles or any of the number of people that depend upon Dream, directly and indirectly, for employment/CC clout. It’s like everyone truly believes that political ideology has no effect on the way we perceive, treat, and behave around other people in literally any field, not just politics. I, just... Christ. I don’t really wanna unpack my emotions about this whole thing right now, so I won’t. I’ll just say: I dislike Trump supporters and ex-Trump supporters alike, I dislike conservatives who claim they’re centrists (every fucking guy my age does this, it’s infuriating and makes me want to bash my head into the nearest wall), I dislike people who levy their fans against criticism - even when it’s righteous - and I dislike people who lie about their past actions; Dream fits all those categories, so I dislike him.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hello Goldy 💜 So JK dint post for Jin and so does Tae. Both of them di t post for Jinins bday also. Whats going on here ? I dont understand if JK and Tae have been banned from posting on their boyfriends bday. As u can tell i am both Jikook and Taejin shipper. What do u think is happening or should i say not happening.

This topic...

Hold on, lemme put on my tinfoil hat:

I got nothing. Lol.

Secondly, aaaaah Tae Kook!

Lol. Tae Kook. The evil power duo of BTS, my favorite rageddy boogie men of ship street Avenue, PPP- pathological party poopers of Bangtan fantasyland- stomping on shipper's parade, putting commas in people's hopes and dreams. Y'all didn't get the memo? When we said y'all be snatching hearts, this is not the kind of horror heart snatching we was talking about! Y'all ratchet for this shit. Lol.

Someone give them the memo. Atatatatatat.

Lmho.

I mean for Jk, I've already speculated a few times- several times now, how I feel he's kind off been on a self assertive journey since late 2019 and coupled with a lot of things I felt was happening with him, Jimin and group around that period, that him not posting for the members' birthdays sort of make a lot of sense to me.

I've also speculated on what I felt was going on with Kook, RM and Tae around JM's birthday this year, so Tae not posting for JM also sort of made sense to me?

Tae missed Jimin's birthday as well. It would have been 'problematic' in today's social media climate if he posted for any body else within the group after that. It's the same with JK when he missed Jin's birthday last December- had he posted for anybody else, I'm afraid several trucks would have been sent to BigHit HQ demanding his head on a spike. Chileee.

Can't blame them though. Even the members themselves, during 2017 Festa, descended hard on JK for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others- they pay attention to these things, you know? Jin in his recent VLive had said he had been up waiting for texts and all- or something along the lines of that, and I'm pretty sure he pays attention to who posts what on their Twitter account on his birthday. Well we know Jimin does this too. Lol.

You don't need to be a mad scientist to figure out that one member posting for another and not the others would make the members feel some kind of way about it even if they don't say it out loud.

Frankly, like I said, I feel they set themselves up for this shit- miss one, miss them all or risk solo stans coming for your ass. That's how we roll on these fang gang streets. Lol.

But for Kook, I sort of felt his was deliberate- may be an impulsive decision at the time, but deliberate nonetheless. I mean he had all 24 hours post Jin's birthday to belate that shit- better late than never, but he didn't do that.

Whatever had transpired within that period- which I've speculated on in past posts, I feel that had pushed him to his breaking point and had incentivized him or propelled him to reel back, reevaluate his goals, intentions, purpose, calling- whatever you wanna call it, and eventually had embarked on a journey to reassert himself and take back control of his life all throughout 2020- until recent times...

- Y'all see Jikook's dynamics have flipped again post Jimin's birthday right? Clear your schedules. We gone talk. Soon. Muhahaha.

I don said, Jikook have/had been asserting themselves against eachother and against the group this year. And for Jk, that self assertion would come in the form of him putting up boundaries and reinforcing already existing boundaries among other things, which would in turn require him demanding and demonstrating his independence from anything and anyone he had relinquished his self autonomy to- prior to. In my opinion.

I'm gonna step on a few toes here and regurgitate, JK didn't just take a step back from his life, he took a step back from Jimin as well, in my opinion- I can literally hear temperatures rising. Chilee. Lmho.

It's easy to lose yourself in the process of loving someone. And when you love this person more than you love yourself, in the thick of love, under heavy public and peer scrutiny, where you are being told to change this and that about yourself everyday and everytime as a prerequisite for being able to love this person you want within a group; then you are bound to end up with nothing but the total eradication of who you are at your core or at least a drift away from your true self and the expressions of it... Sigh.

I mean all the, 'try not to be so possessive, he's our friend too' 'operation neutralize Jikook' 'chilee, don't lean too much into him, this is an award' 'I've got Jimin, restrain Kook' 'oh I think you stared too long here' 'look away' 'you got him a present, why didn't you get us any' 'is that your heart eyes?' 'Tuck it away' 'why do you film Jimin a lot?' 'use this person, not Jimin for your GCF if you want the clicks' 'GCF in Tokyo? How about OT7 in wherever mate?' - all these little tweaks and adjustments he's had to make to his personality and his expressions of self in order to hide his relationship within the group climaxes honestly. In my opinion. And late 2019 to me was that peak for JK. Again, in my opinion.

Changes like these don't come drastically. They creep up on you. Its slippery slope till you're caught knee deep in the mud. For instance, notice when the members complained about him not caring for them because he hadn't presented them with gifts like he did Jimin, he had agreed immediately to give them presents in the future in order to not answer to their question of why he had chosen to give just Jimin a present. That compromise to me was one of the early signs of him losing his authenticity. In my opinion.

Jimin and the members were quick to point out that he didn't have to do that because giving and gifting were not obligations and honestly they were right. He doesn't have to do things if he doesn't want to.

That's the paradox of Jungkook. He does the things he wants to do without shame and he is fearless and unapologetic about it. But you see, he is also often very passive when it comes to the things he doesn't want to do and would hesitate in insisting on his boundaries until he is pushed to his limits- from my observation of his interactions with the members and I think Suga and RM have talked about this too.

A classic example of this is his conversation with Jimin about their friendship- when Jimin said they were in between love and friends. His hesitation was a sign he was uncomfortable with that description but he didn't assert himself over it.

Another example would be Jimin saying during their log that he was taking a liking to JK- JK didn't react as much but JM turning to ask him if he was ok with him saying things like that was a sign they had had the talk about 'boundaries.'

JK is a very assertive person but his position as the youngest within the group places a lot of restrictions on his assertiveness I feel.

We talk a lot about Jimin being Kumbaya and sacrificing a lot of their personal happiness for the good of the group- well, I've been talking. Y'all don't say shit much- fuxking lurkers 😒 y'all suck. Lol. [Delete before you post, you idiot. They don't know you like that]

Anywho, we often talk about Jimin in this context but we- by we, I mean I, don't talk enough about all the ways JK often sacrifices his authenticity for the Kumbaya of the group as well. But unlike Jimin, I feel JK does it so he can keep his glass closet- fucking whippidy whip whipped. Lol.

And it's crazy because that sacrifice he makes of his true feelings and it's expression is what often leads people to question whether he acts exclusively with JM at all.

Often I hear shippers complain about how he did this with Jimin but he did similar thing with another member- listen, if you've heard JK sigh upon seeing RM imitating his mannerisms to try to neutralize his nonverbal gestures around Jimin, you'd understand what exclusivity means for him.

And when, you think about that he had to apologize to and explain himself for choosing to wear his man's bag over another member- it's not hard to see where his authentic self began to erode- It started from the moment the apologies begun. Never apologize for who you are- class dismissed. Lol.

Then he goes on to talk about losing his passions for his GCFs, his music- this is a person everyone within the group had said is or was the most passionate member within the group... You gotta wonder where it all went wrong. Know what I mean? Come on work me. I'm writing this at 2am. Lol.

I think Jimin was right when he said giving should never be a task. You should give from your heart and from your own free will. Not for show, and certainly not to please anyone.

Wishing a member a happy birthday should never be a duty, task or obligation- especially when such moments and expressions of it has become performative over the years rather than as true expressions of the love and affections they have for eachother- ok, I'm dozing off now. Lmho.

I mean let's face it, posting on Twitter for eachother has become more of a culture and an established tradition within the group that sentimental members within the group hold on to.

The birthday twitter post has been hijacked and lowkey/highkey advances the OT7 kumbaya agenda BigHit is bent on pushing and sells the BTS bromance fantasy to us rather than an actual representation of their love for eachother. In my opinion. I could be wrong about this.

JK asserting himself would mean him choosing not to participate in expressions that to him are performative, shallow and lacks depth whatsoever.

I know what you are gonna say- but but Jimin's birthday. But but but nothing. Lol. I have said I felt he was going to post for Jimin's birthday. Dude geared up for it with the 5/8 and everything.

And given as he's been on a journey to do the things he wants to and to pursue meaning in his expressions of self within the group, I feel and I believe he believes wishing his man a happy birthday on social is meaningful- Confirmation bias this shit. Lol.

Not that the act itself is meaningful, but that the act holds meaning to Jimin. I think I've talked extensively about Jimin and how important his birthday is to him. The only reason I feel he wouldn't or didn't post for him was if Jimin had asked him not to- which I believe he did. Posting for Jimin would have been tantamount to outing their relationship gangster style. Lol.

And we all know how the members feel about that. Smirk.

So no, I don't think he's been banned from posting for his man's birthday. I think this is him deciding not to partake in performative expressions of love- perhaps because that has never been him?

I don't know for Tae's Journey. His decision not to post feels very random to me. Who knows, he and JK have been talking a lot lately it seems and getting closer post Sope. So if you ask me, this perhaps is him taking a page out of JK's self help book and pursuing that authenticity of self expressions I've talked about?

I mean he did do awesome things for Jin's birthday so I don't think we can complain much. Getting his friends to wish Jin a happy birthday certainly pulls weight over a second post on Twitter. Jin got a birthday party with the members, RM had the same.....

The thing that bothers me and my friends over here about Jikook's incident is the lack of closure after that traumatizing experience.

With the others JK didn't post for, at least we got to see him in a VLive with them interacting and just giving us moments here and there. So even if he didn't post, we know he was with them and they shared the memory of that day together- which I feel is what we shippers want. For them to show eachother love- whatever way they express it.

With Jimin- Nada. Zero. Zilch. We got nothing my guy. Jimin didn't share any insight or give any details remotely resembling closure for us. We were hoping for a bangtan bomb or Episode but nothing so far. I hate it here.

We didn't get to see JK showing the love we know he feels for Jimin- he's proven time and again he loves that man. We didn't get to see them share the memories of that day together. Not even through narration- Jimin, you sonova bish! Lol.

Would I ever move on from that incident? No.

Do I want to move on from that incident- chileee I've been trying. It would haunt me for the rest of my Jikook life. Lol. I still get get nightmares thinking about it and it's Christmas. Sigh.

I think we would have to observe rather than anticipate how they choose to express and communicate their love for one another- especially Jikook and by extension Taejin- chilee Anon, I respect your hustle. Lol.

I don't blame you though. I mean sometimes Jin be looking like he wants to gobb-ok

What was your question again? Lol. I hope I answered it. Chilee. Keep supporting Jikook.

Signed,

GOLDY

[daesungindistress]

How dare you crop out my logo from a video I *illegally* reuploaded and *claimed* I own. You just wait until YG deletes my account from a copyright violation which I am clearly doing for the whole world to see. You thought you were doing me a favor by hiding my credit so no one could trace my account BUT you'll be hearing from my lawyer about this because I am DUMB and wanna be caught redhanded like my hero.

lol, anon, you’re righter than you realize. Check this out:

Admits to ripping the video and distributing it unlawfully, knowingly violating copyright and going to great lengths to do so... yet has the nerve to complain about me “stealing” a few screenshots to share here on my blog without referring people back to her and her team. Modifying the video and slapping a watermark on it doesn’t give these fans the exclusive rights to the content. It’s okay for them to alter the video by, among other things, applying a tacky watermark, but it’s not okay for me to somewhat restore the video to its original form by removing it? Yeah, I understand that they feel stung; everyone wants to feel validated over something. But this “remove your post and reupload the correct screenshots with our logo” policing they’re trying with me, not just here but on Twitter too, is much ado about nothing. And it won’t work.

I have posted other screenshots from that Hawaii video here and left the logo alone because, though I didn’t love how it looked or the people it represented, I didn’t feel it was so in the way that it warranted me going out of my way to erase it. In this case, however, I removed it because I thought VIPs might like some fun reaction images for future use and that logo in all its yellow, red, white, and electric blue glory was awfully distracting against the backdrop of dark clouds and needed to go. It was first and foremost an aesthetic decision. Apparently “D’s Hoes Team” never got the memo that watermarks are supposed to be unobtrusive. Visible, but not jarringly so. That colorful D-kun with team name underneath in bright lettering stuck out like a... well, like a sore thumb.

Also, as I’m sure you all now know, there’s bad blood between me and members of the D’s Hoes Team, many of whom are OT5 (and one who I'm quite sure is a disgusting solo stan with contempt for the other members of BB, if her "keep licking the boots of hyung line" comment to me earlier this year is anything to go by). Removing their mark meant not giving people who I have deep, long-standing disagreements with any free promo. Yeah, make of that what you will. Disagree with it if you must. As far as I’m concerned, in this case crediting was not a duty but a courtesy. One I did consider extending to them, but ultimately, for personal reasons, chose not to.

For what it’s worth, I have purchased BB merchandise, scanned photos, put in the work of cleaning them up in Photoshop, and shared them online without applying a single mark or stamp leading back to me. This was years ago and I still see these images floating around in fandom spaces today. Gifs, edits, anniversary posters too. All not bearing my name or URL.

Why do this? Because contrary to what certain members of that team like to say about me, I don’t care about luring fans back to my blog and basking in their attention and praise. I care more about sharing content in its purest form without fugly, poorly designed logos getting in the way of others’ enjoyment. You could even say I’ve deliberately presented my work in a way that rejects notoriety. And when I see it shared somewhere else without credit? I’m just glad people like it! Namedrop me if you want to, but the way I see it, fandom becomes stuffy and stagnant the moment the easy and open exchange of content becomes stifled by mandates imposed by overstepping, entitled fans with no real authority to enact or enforce them.

[daesungfmd]

hwang daesung + instagram!

headcanon 4  /  wc: 1194

as an esfp, daesung desperately needs social interaction. leaving him alone for long periods of time is a recipe for disaster, but given his occupation and the types of people in his life, it isn’t always possible to meet up with friends whenever he wants to. when all else fails, social media fills the empty spaces. you could argue that he relies a little too heavily on it and—honestly speaking—you would be correct, but daesung will always always always claim that his rs with social media is very healthy :) 

having said that, there isn’t a single day that goes by in which he doesn’t post on at least one social media platform. his favorite option is instagram, so he has the largest following on this app out of all of his other personal accounts. even if he doesn’t upload directly to his feed, he’ll usually post a couple things to his story.

he has dms & replies to his stories open to all (because what’s the point of having social media if you’re not going to socialize, right?), so his messages are constantly flooded. when he first opened his personal instagram account, he responded to a lot of dms, but was told by gold star that he needed to keep all interactions with fans public, so he.... stopped? lmao, no he didn’t. he just cut down drastically.

more because of his messages getting out of hand than the company telling him not to reply, honestly. like... he cares about what the company says, sure, but he also doesn’t see the harm in talking to fans, being personable, making ‘em happy.

but! they’re still open, anyway, and he tries to read absolutely everything he gets even if he can’t respond. when he’s feeling lonely at night, he likes to open up instagram and start reading through his dms <3 kinda pathetic but it’s a lonely life <3

he follows a relatively large amount of people taking the fact that he’s an idol into consideration. first of all, he follows all official gold star group accounts, the other impulse members, and all labelmates that he considers himself to be friends with. outside of that, he follows friends that he has from other companies, but only male-presenting friends because he doesn’t want gold star’s pr people to get onto him. follows his male-presenting non-celeb friends, as well. some actors that he likes, some indie musicians that he likes, then the rest are meme pages and pet pages.

as far as content goes, he mainly uploads photos and videos of himself to his feed. the biggest chunk of it is just selfies, candid pics taken by his friends & behind the scenes snapshots taken during promotions/filming, but it’s not uncommon for him to upload a little video of himself singing and/or playing his guitar. sings a lot of old ass songs like long lost memories loom beyond the window by sanullim (1980), to you again by byun jinseob (1989), with the heart to forget you by kim kwangseok (1992), on the street by kim kwangseok (1993), what can i say by the breeze (2010), etc. i imagine a lot of his fans probably don’t know the songs, so they usually don’t get as much interaction as the rest of his posts but That’s Okay! he just likes to sing for fun <333 he does it for himself.

other than that... he posts pictures of his pets semi-regularly (as of dec. 2020, he has two rats and a dog), every now and then he’ll post a video of himself doing some skateboard tricks, and verrrrry very rarely he might post a pic of another impulse member???

pretty meme-y irl, but tries to look charismatic / “sexy” on instagram for the lols. doesn’t always do this, but fans have grown accustomed to pictures of him with half-buttoned shirts, head leaned back to show off his neck, tongue stuck out. lowkey they clown him a lot for some of the selfies he uploads, but he sees them going crazy on stan twitter so he can deal w it. anything for some extra attention!

doesn’t always think before posting, so sometimes he’ll stare at a selfie for a little too long and realize he looks dumb (in his head, of course) and delete it. happens more often than you’d think, so a lot of fans claim that his instagram content is limited time only. better turn your notifications on if you wanna make the best of it!

uses the story function to share little pieces of his day. sometimes it’s just a “good morning” message, sometimes it’s a picture of the sky wherever he’s at, sometimes it’s a video of him skateboarding, sometimes it’s a mirror selfie with whatever song he’s into atm attached, sometimes it’s a pic of certain points in his outfit that he wants to show off (like the painted nail in the middle image above, lmao). can be anything, though; he just likes to keep something in his story at all times so that his fans have a little piece of him to keep them company. doesn’t hurt that sharing his life with the internet like this helps him to feel a little bit less alone, as well.

likes to mess around with filters in his stories, has a habit of doing this when he’s tipsy/drunk. when you see a sequence of 25 selfies that all look pretty much the same, just with different filters, you know that daesung’s been drinking.

one time when he was drunk, he uploaded a selfie to his story and tagged jennifer aniston in it for literally no reason. fans will never let him live this one down.

sometimes he uses stories to interact with fans when he can’t sleep. he’ll ask something like “what’s a good movie to watch when you’re feeling sentimental?” at three in the morning, and 200+ messages just telling him to go to sleep come in. will then post a small vid of himself saying, “you’re all telling me to go to sleep...... i didn’t ask what i should do. i asked for movie recommendations!! answer the question and i’ll go to sleep :)” and then half an hour later, follows up with another video saying “actually i’m not going to sleep!!!! i’m watching shrek now haha”

aka he acts like they’re his friends. WAY too comfortable on his instagram account, but shockingly hasn’t posted anything bad enough to cause a controversy yet.

he does weekly/bi-weekly friday evening livestreams (depending on how busy he is/how he’s feeling) where he spends between an hour and an hour and a half talking with fans and playing guitar/singing for them. i’ll do a separate headcanon about these streams later on because it will undoubtedly take too long to share all my thoughts in this post, but! they were pretty popular when he first started doing them about a year and a half ago (as of dec. 2020), but once fans realized that he sings pretty much the same songs every time, half of them stopped tuning in which is..... fair.

he just loves instagram so much. it’s his comfort app.

[shinydixon]

part 2:

i mean, just look at the pics from when he was a teenager (they got leaked and were popping everywhere on pinterest, i didn't go searching for it but i did see it), he was already drinking and smoking and partying. that man is not an innocent little thing that doesn't know how to take care of himself. he's not gonna die if he reads thirst tweets, debra, for fuck's sake. and he's not going to come galloping to you and every other 'fan' who insist on treating him like a child.

my final thoughts are that joe is seriously on a high. sometimes shitty stuff happens, he gets stalked, doxxed, almost run over by a car apparently, but he's really happy about his career and how it's taking off. i think he's gonna try to enjoy the most out of it. he's said so himself. i don't think he has time for anything that isn't work or hanging out with his friends to relax and unwind. there will always be rumors and speculations and crazy fans and weird shit happening, there's no escaping it. so if you have anxiety, like me, and you get overwhelmed when you log in and there's this rush of new drama and rumors, the best thing to do is simply filter the shit out of everything you can filter, and try to focus on supporting joe, the actor.

i mean, read smut fics, imagine yourself spending two weeks on a vacation with him, do whatever you want to do, go nuts. but make sure to set boundaries. the joe in your head (in our heads, actually) is not and will never be the joe in real life. we don't know shit about him. we only get what he wants to show us and, much to my dismay, we also get what crazy people decide to leak. and we combine these things, these little pieces of information that he gives us at cons and interviews, and we slowly piece together an idealized version of joe. which is okay, it happens in every relationship. sometimes we create an idealized version of a real life crush and we find out the real deal is not that great. but yeah, just try to do your best to stay away from the rumors, the speculations and the several troll accounts that keep messing with joe fans on twitter. filter, block, delete…do whatever it takes to create your own space. i think the hype will go down very soon and the fandom will go back to what it used to be. and seriously, the simple explanation is often the correct one.

2/2

Thank you for your insight.

I mostly agree with everything (except for some things you said about Grace, I already explained myself a lot on the matter and also right now she's not doing anything to feed the ship lol) but it's impossible to filter drama when my blog is basically about Joe/Eddie right now.

As I said before, it's true I get overwhelmed and so does others and they come here to vent about that, and who am I to "close the doors"?

If I get overwhelmed I just log out for a little bit and do what I like (going out with NY friends, partying, playing videogames, read etc.) but then I come back and listen to what fellow Joe stans have to say.

Social media for some of us, are a mean to don't think about our everyday life and have fun but it's obvious that if you keep seeing shit like fake rumors spreading around you just want to vent and talk a about it with someone. If they don't have someone they come here and I'm happy to hear them and share both my opinions and thoughts.

Can't really relate to picture Joe into my head because I don't really read rpf, I just read fictional characters fic (not judging who write/reads them of course).

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @marvelmom for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about her, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

A woman never tells her (fanfic) age ;)

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I can't honestly say that I prefer one over the other since I've never written a fic for an OC.  I guess my style of writing is better suited to allowing readers to insert themselves into the narrative. I like the challenge of writing a character that allows the reader to flesh out in their own image but still have some substance on their own within the story.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Is smut considered a genre? LOL.  Seriously though, I love humour so you'll find most of my stories have an underlying comedic thread.  I have a really dark sense of humour and I'm sarcastic af so I love when people respond favourably to it in my writing.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Wow, this is a really good question!  I think it would probably be the very first fic I wrote called "Marked."  I wrote it for a friend when I was deep in the Cumberbatch fandom.  She was complaining about the lack of Khan fics so I wrote one for her.  It's on Ao3 and every now and then I get a kudo and I cringe.  The writing seems so basic and stilted compared to my newer works.  If anything it shows how much I'm improving.

5) When is your preferred time to write? 

I find I do my best work late at night.  I'm a single mom with a full time job and busy teenagers so I don't usually get to sit down at my computer until after 11pm.  I love being able to leave the day behind and just focus on my writing without any interruptions.  I typically go until 2am.  It's a little crazy but writing relaxes me and helps me sleep better.  And it inspires some really great dreams ;)

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Most my inspiration comes from real life, my experiences and passions like music, film and literature.  I like to daydream and I find I'm constantly having conversations with characters or constructing scenes in my head.  I'm a little crazy I guess lol

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Another great question...let me think.  I have one in my head that I haven't written yet that I know will eventually be my favourite but at this very moment it's the scene in Chapter 10 of The Contest where Bucky and the reader are dancing in the antique store and they finally kiss. It was the very first scene that came to me when I started to think about this story and to finally get to write it was incredible.  But man did I stress over it...I wanted it to be perfect.  Exactly like I had pictured it in my head.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Hasn't happened yet.  I'm very stubborn and it would take a lot for me to deviate from the vision I have playing in my head. My muse won't let me rest until I've captured a scene note for note on paper.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Bucky!  I can't seem to get him out of my head.  For me, Bucky is the most fascinating character in the MCU.  His story arc has brought him from one end of the spectrum to the other and back again in so many facets and I love exploring these layers of his personality,

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Thor but only because I stress over his speech patterns when I'm writing his dialogue.  I want to make sure I'm doing his character justice and capturing him accurately on paper.

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories?

For one shots, I usually wait until I'm done and then riff on a major theme in the story or what inspired my to write it in the first place. The title for "The Contest" series came from the Seinfeld episode of the same name that inspired the story.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

Considering that The Contest is my very first Bucky fic (and series) I would have to say this is my best story idea so far.  More to come I hope ;)

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Thankfully none yet!  I find that when story pops into my head I can't move on until I get it down on paper and out in the wild.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I get a lot of requests for part 2 of "Three Creams, No Sugar".  Everyone wants that shower scene ;)

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Yes, Infinity War. Oh wait....do you mean one of mine?

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Oh wow, there are so many incredible writers in this fandom that it's hard to pick just a few.  I'm grateful to have fallen in with amazing writers such as @evansrogerskitten, @Thewife101 and @avenger-nerd-mom on Twitter.  Their support and guidance are the reasons I gathered up the courage to start posting my fics on Tumblr.

Writers like @unicorns-and-fairy-dust-blog own my emotional ass....Dre is the master of angst.  I love the wit and humour in  @tilltheendwillIwrite 's stories - I think it's a Canadian thing born out of bitter cold winters and ketchup chips.  @lovelynemesis has such a great style of writing, very flowing and descriptive.  The depth of talented creators in this fandom is insane.  There are just too many to mention!

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Definitely "Marked"

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Complete silence.  If I have music or Netflix playing I start to daydream and boom, a whole new story.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Not while writing but as I listened to a song and imagined a Bucky one shot to the words.  I was ugly crying by the end.  I may get around to writing it one day..

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

I would say the first few starting paragraphs of a new story or chapter.  I take way too long with the beginning sections.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I pretty much have the whole story plotted out before I get started. "The Contest" has been in my head from beginning to end for over a year now.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

I wish I had known about Tumblr to be honest.  It's a great outlet for fanfic and the source of so much inspiration and support.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I'm always in awe of the fact that people want to read my stories period so I appreciate every single note, comment and message whether it's 4 or 400 :)

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?   

I'm always in awe of the fact that people want to read my stories period so I appreciate every single note, comment and message whether it's 4 or 400 :)

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Not so much characters but personality traits.  I find that I project my style of humour and sarcasm (plus my lack of filter) onto characters all the time.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

I must be the slowest writer in this fandom.  I seriously don't know how you all put up with me.  I've had so many incredible compliments but it always amazes me to hear readers tell me that a new chapter was worth the wait.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten? 

One that really stands out is someone telling me that I was going to lose all my followers if I didn't update my fics faster.  That one really hurt because like most writers here, I really beat myself up knowing that I can't turn around stories or chapters as quickly as I would like.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I have a few writers here that I talk to regularly and we feel comfortable enough to share our ideas.  Some of my favourite messages have been from other writers wanting to talk through an idea or ask for some help with a scene or ask for some help with a scene or some dialogue.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction? 

Aside from a few twitter mutuals I have met, no one in my "real life" knows I write fanfic. Though I think my kids may have their suspicions...I have a writing degree and my friends and family are always telling me that I should write more.  If they only knew LOL

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

I can't tell you because they are about to make an appearance in the next chapter of "The Contest" and I'm excited to write their scene.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process? 

The incredible feedback and messages I get from readers like you (I live for your chapter summaries....seriously), pictures of Sebastian Stan, reading all the amazing fanfic out there, Bucky's thighs, Marvel, eating chocolate....eating chocolate off of Bucky's thighs.... (Need to add that to my list of future fics)

32) What’s your favorite trope to write? 

Definitely slowburns.  I love the flirting, the teasing, the witty dialogue as the sexual tension builds....it's delicious.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

This is going to date me....please no judgment.  It was a 'NSYNC fic. Wish I could remember the name but it was a JC x reader.  I was obsessed with JC back in the day...ok, stop laughing.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

SMUT with my fucky Bucky and my side boo Sebby ;)

[youngbloodlisk]

tw eating disorder and mention of ed triggers and habits

disclaimer: i do not condone or recommend ANY of the things im about to say that i do. i am very unhealthy, both in mind and in body, PLEASE do not do anything that i say i do.

(also im sorry i cant put any keep reading tabs in these posts, but i dont have my laptop with me)

how it started is a hard question, because i don't know if anything truly kicked it off.

i've been overweight my whole life. my parents, my grandparents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, almost my entire family are all overweight. because we live in the american southern states, where food is usually something that is eaten and eaten until you can no longer stand it. and my family are very versed in that aspect of "southern culture".

but my parents knew what they grew up with, being overweight, and what physical problems they were already facing because of their weight around the time i was born. and, eventually, they were determined that i would not be like them. they had me on my first diet when i was......maybe 6? almost as far back as i can remember. they had me counting calories when i was about 10. they did alllllll the fad diets and made me do it with them, and they still do fad diets all the time. they always told me i was too big, told me i needed to lose weight. and i agreed, i still do (obviously).

i think all of that had a huge impact on developing an ed, for me personally.

as far as triggers, it's complicated.

part of the illness, typically, is the compulsion to trigger yourself intentionally. it can be by looking up things like thinspo/meanspo/sweetspo (if you don't know what any of those are, just let me know and i can explain), watching movies about eating disorders, joining an eating disorder community on social media, watching eating disorder vlogs on youtube, any number of things. (personally, the only two of those that don't affect me are meanspo and sweetspo)

one example i think about a lot when i think about triggering myself at points is this: there was an ateez video in which san mentions wooyoung's weight loss and states how much he lost in how much time.

i saw atiny talking about it on twitter, warning people who could be triggered by it that it was in the video at this specific minute mark, before i saw the video.

so what did i do the moment i heard about this probably very triggering content from someone i love and adore? i played the video and skipped to that minute mark. just to watch that one part.

and hell yeah it was triggering. i think i fasted for a week after i watched that clip over and over and over and over and over and so on.

and that's no fault of san or wooyoung or atiny or anybody, it's my own fault. it was me INTENTIONALLY triggering myself.

edit lol cause i forgot something: sometimes just looking at idols can be my own personal self-triggering method. as fucked up as that is bc of the pressures and diets they get forced into. but it's involuntary. and usually, it isn't that they're so skinny, it's that i'm so.....not. and how they would think of me. (even though the people i stan would not think this way of me, it's just what my disordered thoughts tell me) i look at an idol i love, younghoon for example, and immediately what runs through my mind is how fucking disgusting i am and how he would probably hate me and be just as disgusted with me as i am with myself. even though that is ENTIRELY inaccurate and ridiculous. but those are the involuntary thoughts i have. then i get really sad because for around an hour or two i can't look at my own bias without wanting to cry and it's my own fault.

now, abt continuous or not, I'd say it's not? but it also absolutely is.

there are periods where i eat totally normally, or at least half decently. i don't feel guilty about it either. but in my head, all I'm thinking is... "you're such a faker, if you can eat normally like this then you don't have an eating disorder. stop trying to be a little attention seeker."

but one thing that kind of brings me back to knowing im not faking it is that, fact is: if i was pretending to have an eating disorder, i could stop. i could delete my calorie tracker, i could stop weighing myself every day, i could eat food and never even think about calories, i could delete my fasting tracking apps. but i cant. doing any of that sounds like my worst fucking nightmare.

[theday]

anyways, ill say bye now... i hope ure well rested and have a good day!! (wait, i remember what i wanted to ask!! at least i think this is what i wanted to ask? anywys, do u know what u want to do now that ure finished w school? if u dont mind me asking, of course, i understand if u think its a bit personal!) ok, now im done, have a good day!! take care and stay hydrated!! (and now i really did send u a bunch of asks..)

omg i hope u dont mind but ill be answering the stuff from ur last ask here (the one where i… deleted everything) under cut bc itll be 2x longer now

so first !!!!! how i got into kpop!!! it was thanks to my good pal (@.briwoon) boxy! i follow her on twitter and despite her being a day6 stan twt i had her unmuted anyway bc.. after years of being an anime blog on tumblr and seeing all my anime mutuals slowly converting into kpop blogs one by one i was able to filter the kpop out of my brain?? smth like that since back then i wasnt into kpop and i didnt want to unfollow since im mutuals with most of them :-0 

another backstory - i was one of those people who never saw themselves getting into kpop? and i think the main reason was bc i thought liking kpop would make u seem lame?? due to the influence from people around me?? but as years went by and as my mutuals changed interests it stopped bothering me and that mindset kind of just? faded away bc who am i to call other people’s happiness bad?? but despite being okay with it i never really made the move to get into any groups lmao that was until i got tired of my interest at that time (seiyuu, japanese voice actors) and my interests would always. not last?? idk so maybe thats why i didnt want to get invested but it happened regardless 

anyway usually i wouldnt take notice of her rts but this . this beautiful man with orange hair and minion glasses caught my eye when i was scrolling through my timeline and i was like o worm? oh mu god? hes beautiful? so i slid into her dms and asked her whomst the beautiful man was and she sent me all their mvs after that from congratulations to i smile (the most recent mv at that time, late june) for me to watch :-D now at that time, from what little knowledge i had of kpop.. i understood that groups would be singing and dancing so i was prepared to see some sick moves or smth?? but then. i clicked on miss i smile and my wig flew off? bc… wtf.? they were playing instruments???? and they sounded good ??? so i was like oh my god? a band??????

before day6 i also had (have) a preference for bands and the way their music sounds so i was like?? ready to just. get on board yknow?? i watched how can i say and i saw the lanky noodle wearing glasses and i was like o fuck mu life? i caved and asked boxy for their names and other information and best decision of my life bc.. they really make me happy!!! after that like the day after ? myabe they did a vlive and i was like o shit? what do i do… so i downloaded the vapp and wowie i love it? its my second home…… i watched every vlive they had at that time and i thought that was a lot… (it isnt, compared to mx) and i was just rly content??

(ok i know u asked for kpop and not … day6 or other groups bc im gonna talk abt how i got into mx and astro too bc…… how can i Not.. u can skip this part tho i just wanna ramble abt my loves? ill tell u when u can continue)

that was peak happiness for me at that time.. until… boxy started talking about monsta x in our groupchat (with @.tokayhk) and she would just ramble abt this kihyun fella (who i vaguely knew bc my real life friend likes him and mx and i bought her his pc before along with the guilty clan part 2) so i was like hmm interesting… and honestly? i wasnt going to get into monsta x i really wasnt planning on asking her abt them (since i was scared id lose interest in day6 right after) but then.. she started linking videos and i .. my resolve crumbled down as i heard monsta x yelling and … this beautiful cover (which boxy sent to show us how powerful kihyuns vocals are but i was 2 focused on mister aka minhyukku) and she told us how funny these monsta men are and i was like o h no…………….. eventually one day in late august i asked her to tell me more about these monstas…… aftert that i watched every mxray episode (starting from season 2 bc i dont know 1 comes before 2) and even though i didnt know anyone who was on screen except jooheon i found it really funny and?? it made me laugh so much i love mx?? ya… boxys kind of like my guardian angel?? shes really the reason im living tbh… introducing me to all these lovely people?? thank u miss boxy i love u

now. for the astrosus….. they were a bit different.. because i didnt have boxys help and they were the first group i took interest in solely bymyself so i knew i was in for a wild ride (at first, i couldnt even differentiate brian from sungjin in day6 lmao) after stanning monsta x and day6 i became more?? open to kpop and i started watching unhelpful guides on youtube bc . they were funnie and idk its nice??/ and i stumbled upon the astro one (which wasnt that funny but more helpful than anythng) and i was like. oh worm? the cicada group… bc i watched a short clip of them catching that stupid cicada in their office as it appeared on my tl one day so i clicked on the video ..and after watching that it led me to another video of astro being extra for 6 minutes and those six minutes/????? best six minutes of my life because theyre so fnny and they made me laugh a lot? (combined with the editing from op) so bc they were funnie i decided to look them up and read their profiles/??? i watched their nimdle video and only knew mj bc his tag was the two letters m and j lol but it really made me bust both of my lungs i just?? laughed A Lot 

im not sure how i managed to put name to face so quickly but it mightve been bc after the nimdle videos i watched every ddoca and astro play as well as their vlives available bc..  i just inhale the content at godspeed?? 

for mx and astro i was drawn in by their personalities before their music because they were on more variety shows and had more chances to show dorky they all are which made it way quicker for me to fall for the two groups??? for day6 its a bit sad but the weekly scheduled vlives arent enough for me to tell what kind of people they are (although those r still hilarious) i just wish they would go on more variety shows?? its understandable if they themselves dont want to be on any shows though!!! i love all 3 groups with all my heart :-D 

ok if u skipped u can start from here ill be answering the questions now lmao

FIRSTof all,,,,, youre learning how to drive?? thats so cool >:-0 we’re not allowed to learn until we’re like...?? 18?? or 21 idk but not so Soon :-( and its cute u think abt me (or of what to say) but pleaseth stay safe... i hope ur driving lessons go smoothly until u end theM!!! hopefully youll be able to get ur licence :-D 

aNDD!!! the thought of drinking warm tea when its cold outside.. is so ?? nice to think about hecc u better drink that tEA and enjoy it !!!! stay warm and comfy miss RM ..... and it even snows there????? thats so cool tbh ?? (i love snow but maybe thats bc it doesnt snow here so i dont know the tru evil of snow but like.... its so.... white and fluffy??) i would ask u 2 take pics and show me but alas...... the time is not right :-( do u know when we’re allowed to expose ourselves?? i forgot rip... but its sometime next month right im excited???? since its near my birthday !!!!! 

ok now to answer this ask no i actually have no clue what i want to be after i finish school?? yikEs but last year i (jokingly) said i wanted to be a farmer??? idk if i might actually do that probably not i guess im just freestyling (going with the flow) for now we’ll see where life takes me 

and like i said u can ask me anything !!! im fine with it :-) alsooooo please dont ever feel bad about sending too many asks bc its a lovely thing to wake up to and i just?? get rly happy when i see all the asks in my activity :-D!!  

[cowboylikedean]

what are the times that's happened to you?

I assume you’re talking about people coming at me after I’ve apologized. I don’t want to start the drama again, but I do want to share my story if it can help you... so at the risk of people coming at me again... 

The first time was when I made a post about Liam that was wildly misunderstood. I was shitposting and I said something about how I didn’t know what a Liam stan looked like... I was talking about how I didn’t have any friends or people on my dash I’d followed for Liam or who were Liam specific fans. I had people on my dash who were mostly into 1d for each one specific boy except Liam... It was worded in a way that yes, sounded rude, without tone or personal context... But it honestly wasn’t that deep. I wasn’t posting it for anyone else so I didn’t think about how others would read it. I only tagged it “liam” and it didn’t say Liam’s actual full name.

So then a Liam stan who didn’t follow me reblogged it and told me off.. It quickly spread through the Liam centric fandom and I was harassed and attacked. I broke my computer during one of the panic attacks. It was so stressful, I’d never experienced something like that before. The hateful messages didn’t stop... They were relentless. I tried to explain that I didn’t mean it the way it came off and I love Liam and I never meant any harm, but they didn’t care. They kept coming. I had a couple Liam stans who bothered to talk to me about it understand that I was just shitposting and I didn’t mean that at all... And they were cool and we became mutuals for a while.. But for the most part... It went wild. I tried to talk to people at the beginning and ask them to delete their reblogs because it was just a shitpost gone wrong and they insisted I was “backtracking” and trying to make myself look better or erase the “damage” I had done with my post “bullying” Liam and Liam stans. Ironic. 

After I stopped answering them on tumblr, they found my twitter and tried to attack me there. This happened in March of last year.. And even now, I’ll sometimes get messages of people hating me for it. And as recently as last week, I’ve still seen people describe me as “that one who hates Liam.” 

The other time that’s happened to me was earlier this year. Some harrie had made a post about a DJ’s comments that “unlike Niall and Louis,” Harry was making an album, not just releasing a single. I responded saying that those comparisons were not necessary and once again the harries insisted that I was “getting worked up about people loving Harry.” 

Well one thing led to another and as the argument developed, I pointed out people attempting to gaslight me and misrepresent the entire argument and lying about what had happened. I pointed out that they were insisting I had said that people can’t love Harry when I didn’t say that and the argument wasn’t about that. 

throughout the conversation, I apologized to the OP for misunderstanding that they weren’t trying to place a value judgement (regardless of the fact that I still 100% believe the DJ was and it was not irrational that I see that in the post) and called myself out for my aggressive language. 

Despite the fact I had already apologized and owned up to my mistakes, I was continuously hounded with people insisting I hated Harry, hated Harry stans (lol). Despite the fact that I had explained multiple times why I initially responded with offense, I was repeatedly told the offense I stated wasn’t really what I felt and I really was just upset about people loving Harry. I called this gaslighting... Because it is. 

The original poster and I cleared up our argument. We apologized and she blocked me and i understood (still understand though I’d like to reblog her posts at some point in the future)... And after that... The other argument kept going.

Eventually, I stopped responding. My anxiety was getting bad and it wasn’t healthy.

For days and I think even weeks afterwards, people would randomly bring it back up. The last time was someone who was completely disconnected... I literally believe like a week later... Just out of the blue... Accused me of being a troll and then tried to tell me that they weren’t being mean... Just genuinely curious. The fact that even when it was over, it kept happening. And people just... kept insisting that they weren’t being mean to me, even though I knew objectively that they were... It was so hard to find reality and I felt crazy. 

I apologized and owned up to my mistakes and explained myself as best that I ever possibly could. And I was mercifully attacked by people insisting they knew my thoughts and motivations better than I did and that that gave them free reign to be awful to me. It was terrible.

No one deserves to go through that and it breaks my heart that people do.