#i definitely scared it really bad i do feel bad about thar

[spookygibberish]

OK SO I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN THE RAIN AT 2AM AND I SAW AN ANIMAL RUNNING DOWN THE ROAD AND SO I GRABBED IT AND

IT WAS THIS

[jarofstyles]

Could you please do a blurb where Harry and Y/n are just friends and he comforts her because it’s raining and she’s scared of rain? And maybe they kiss at the end.

I have ombrophobia which is the phobia of rain and it’s really bad. Love your writing. You guys are so sweet.

Aw yes 🥺 it’s raining here lol. A good old friend pining thing… cliffhanger hehehehe

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———-

Harry knew days like this were hard for her.

The sky was a dark grey with clouds covering the horizon. It was much darker than he would have thought for the time of day and he knew that she was probably rolling with nerves in her bedroom. He had finished his shift at the guitar store and drove home quickly, fingers tapping on the steering wheel as he turned into their neighborhood.

Parking in his own driveway, he was quick to jump out. Throwing his hoodie over his arm, the drink tray in his hand and the paper bag of food he had grabbed for them both in one hand, he crossed their yard and let himself into her house. Being neighbors had its perks, including Harry knowing the garage passcode and that her parents wouldn’t be home from their shifts until tomorrow.

The house has the lights on, and he had no doubt Y/N had scurried abojt and turned on every single one as soon as she heard the first rumble of thunder in the distance. He sighed, kicking his shoes off at the entrance and greeting her cat that rubbed up against his legs.

“ ‘Lo, Poppy. Where’s y’mumma at?” He smiled, asking the cat in a low whisper . Of course he knew where she was. She always managed to be the same place every single time. If he had looked at the forecast earlier he would have left quicker but at least it hasn’t truly started yet.

He climbed the stairs two at a time, the paper bag crinkling with each bound up the steps until he got to the second floor. Usually he would shout for her a cheesy ‘honey, I’m home!’ But he knew that wasn’t the mood this time.

Entering her room, his heart squeezed when he saw a Y/N shaped lump under the blankets. Her candles were going, a few more than necessary. He knew that it was in case the power went out. She didn’t do well with that.

“Hey, petal.” He cooed, placing their food on her nightstand. His hoodie was deposited on the end of the bed, climbing on the bed and yanking the cover off of his best friend. She was awake, he could tell by her little sniffle. “C’mon now. Isn’t nice to ignore me when I’ve got you some food on m’way home from work.” His fingers reached for her, pulling her to turn over and face him. It took a bit of effort, but he finally did it.

She was messy. Her hair messy, her face a bit paler than normal. Her eyes teary and her body shaking just a little bit as she turned to him. His heart broke every time he saw her like this, desperate to get his best friend to not feel so terrified. “There she is.” He smiled softly, pulling her body into his own. Y/N allowed it. She wasn’t about to throw away a cuddle from Harry. He smelled like cinnamon gum and a bit of mint up close and she loved how he would play with her hair.

Some would argue that this definitely wasn’t normal best friend behavior. It wasn’t like Y/N didn’t agree.. because she knew it was odd. But it was them.

“How’s my best girl, hm?” His voice dropped lower, in his comforting tone while his fingers tangled in her hair and gently began to unknot some of it. “Know s’scary for you. But you’re okay. M’here now, and I’ve got nowhere to be but here.” He felt her fingers flex in his shirt, stomach warming when he felt her warm nose brush against the skin of his neck while she cuddled him.

“I’m okay.” She said in a small voice. “Just… I hate it.” Her voice broke as she fisted his tee shirt. “I hate it. It’s so scary. I hate that I’m afraid of it… it’s silly, just rain, but it’s so…” she whimpered into his chest. His arm tightens around her, pulling her into him further and wiggling his leg in between hers to anchor her. This technique did seem to work.

“I know. It’s not silly. I completely understand, sweet girl.” He whispered, lips pressing to the top of her head. It wasn’t something he did as often as he’d like to.. but this was a good time to do it. It made her shiver, making him smile and repeat the peck to her bare skin. “Rushed home from work. Well… I got us food but I looked at the radar and it said it wouldn’t start for a few minutes so, went through the drive through. Got your fries and the sauce you love.” He quipped. That got a giggle from her, making him relax a bit.

“Thanks.” She wrapped her own arm around his waist, snuggling further into him. “You’re the best. I know… I don’t know how I managed to get someone like you. You always find me when it rains and make it not as bad.” She stroked her fingers over his back this time, nearly making him melt. Harry was a bit touch starved but Y/N fueled him completely. “Don’t know how to thank you.”

Harry chuckled and she could feel the vibration against her body. Being this close made her feel so loved and safe. It made her feel a lot of things thar best friends probably shouldn’t. “You don’t have t’thank me, Y/N. I want to be here. I get to help you not be afraid… and I get a cuddle.” He teased, not being able to help himself from being generous with his forehead kisses and giving her another one.

She grinned to herself at the feeling, wishing she could have those all over her face. His pretty lips she spent far too much time thinking about than she should, trailing over her brows and nose and cheeks, meeting her lips. That’s what she wanted.

“I like the cuddles.” She admitted back to him. “It’s gonna start soon… already closed the windows and the curtains so I can’t see. But can we put on the TV and watch something? Or have it for noise?” She pulled her head back from his chest to rest it on a pillow, wanting to see his face.

Their faces were a bit too close bur she found she liked the feeling in her stomach being this close to him. He never moved away, instead opting to caress her cheek with his fingertips under the guise of moving hair from her face.

“Mhm. Y’need a distraction?” He asked quietly, watching her eyes close in relaxation at his fingers running over her face. His stomach turned in nerves when he decided to go for it. “We can turn on the tv. But if Y’want to distract yourself…. D’ya want to…” he paused, rolling his lips into his mouth for a moment. “D’ya want to kiss or somethin’ for a bit?”

[anbubisibuna]

DHA S2 E21

Anubis der Gott " Anubis the God"

The Club has found the Secret Room. Inside they eventually find the Wall with 7 Tasks to find the Lovebomb. In the attic Mara can't sleep. She walks by at Charlotte and Luzy's door where she hears them giggling. In the kitchen she meets Magnus who also can't sleep. She offers to make him something to drink. The two stare at eachother until Kaya comes in and is pissed about it but when Mara offers him a drink he leaves. Magnus offers Mara to accompany her in the attic because she is scared alone. Up there Magnus sings Pokerface by Lady Gaga which leads them having a pillowfight on the bed. Later Magnus falls asleep on his chair. Mara strokes his cheek and watches him until she falls asleep aswell.

The next morning Kaya walks in with some flowers from Rosie's garden and sees Mara waking up Magnus.

Do I like the episode?

Yeah.

Favourite Moments:

The bits with Mara and Magnus.

Least Favourite Moment:

Don't really have one.

Favourite Character:

Magnus

What I would have done differently:

Not have Charlotte write that stuff in her diary.

" How Kaya is like when you really got to know him? Definitely alot different than everyone thinks. Much smarter. And likes to read books just like me. "

Unpopular opinion:

God I wish Mara and Kaya already broken up. Their relationship is pretty much dead.

I feel bad for Mara when she hears Luzy and Charlotte laughing inside. I've been there too. Luzy is such a horrible friend and nobody talks about it. And the way they laugh about Charlotte's crush on Kaya without even acknowleding that he is still with Mara. I don't know why they act like she doesn't even exist.

Okay this is cheesy: But the Club opens the wall with Open your heart for me

and in the kitchen Mara later meets Magnus where they really stare at eachother. And maybe that kind of connects to that their heart is open for eachother. Oh god thar sounds so cheesy. But they didn't look at eachother like that before.

Random Gifs:

Here's to the Ask Game

[aliasimagines]

confessions

requested by a lovely anon

pairing: Reggie x fem!reader x Luke

a/n: thanks so much for this request, I loved it so much but I happened to have the attention span of a goldfish and got distracted with everything so I sorry that's why it took so long for me to write this. Also I got stuck somewhere and i just refused to write, like I literally did anything else but writing. I did my homework(!!) and I think I watched like 2 seasons (3?) of buzzfeed unsolved while 'working' on this.... Anywaaaysss.. Hope you like it ❤️

word count: 1422

Going out with Reggie was honestly one of your best decisions. You can always count on Reg, he is sweet, compassionate and never fails to cheer you up or make you laugh. He is not only the best possible boyfriend but he is also like your best friend, you feel like you can talk about everything with him. But this… For the first time ever you feel scared to tell something to Reggie. 

You are not sure how or when it happened but lately you found yourself staring at the band’s singer more and more. And it made you so confused because..you still love Reggie. You do right? No, you are sure your feelings for Reggie haven't changed. But everytime you catch Luke singing into that damn microphone you feel those butterflies in your stomach. And you don’t get it. You cannot have feelings for both boys...can you?

When during shows Reggie walks over to Luke and they sing together into one mic, their faces only a few centimeters apart...It kills you every single time.

Right now you are phasing in your room, biting your lower lip nervously waiting for Reggie to arrive. You called him up 20 minutes ago and told him you want to talk about something. You want to tell him about Luke, even if it means him freaking out he deserves to be told the truth. 

You think about all the possible ways he could react, it even crosses your mind that he might want to break up with you but you shake that away really quickly. 

With a small knock on your door Reggie pulls you out of your head back into reality.

“Hi, baby. Is everything alright? Your voice sounded a bit upset on the phone,” he came over ready to hug the hell out of you if you need it. You flash a nervous smile at him and reach for his hand. He takes it and you pull him down to your bed. You sit down too but don’t look at him.

“Babe if somethings up and you can’t talk about it we can just cuddle,” he says, trying to search for your gaze.

“No I.. I want to talk. I just..please know I love you so much Reg, this is not about me not liking you anymore.”

“Oookay. I love you too, boo.Did something happen ?”

“Well..kind of? I think-’ you took a deep breath “-IthinkI’mcatchingfeelingsforLuketoo.” you quickly said. You looked up at Reggie not sure what to expect from him. 

“Uu boy! You really had me scared for a sec baby! I thought you were gonna break up with me or somethin’..But that’s so cool. Huh” he says like he is so relieved.

“Wait what? You ain't mad?” you ask genuinely shocked

“No? Why should I? To be honest I think I feel the same, I just didn’t think too much into it, cause for long I only thought of Luke as a friend cause you know, I didn’t think it was possible to be more but since than I learned I am bisexual and I guess now I like him too..”

“Wow...Well I was definitely not expecting that. But still...how can we like another person? Like I know I still love you.”

“Uuu, I heard about it, I believe it’s called polyamory? It’s basically more than two people being in a relationship, I think.” he explains.

You lean back on your bed, thinking about what Reggie just said.

“Do you think Luke would want that?” you ask after a few minutes of silence. Reggie opens his mouth to say something but closes it right after. He repeats this a few times. He thinks of how amazing that would be. To be in a relationship with the both of you? Sounds like a dream. On the other hand...if he proposes this idea to Luke and he doesn’t vibe with it thar could affect the band or worse, it could mean the end of their friendship.

“I..I don’t know. I mean, that would be wicked! But..”

You sit up and pull him closer to you.

“I get it, babe. So.. Should we just, I don’t know, go on like nothing happened?”

Reggie shakes his head and puts an arm around you. 

“I’m not sure..I want to talk to him..Do you?”

“I do but only if you are sure about it.” you say and next thing you know Reggie places a kiss on your cheek and pulls you up.

“Let’s go, now. Before I chicken out.”

You grab your coat and nod.

“Let’s go then.”

You guys run down to the hall to get your shoes on, but you run through the kitchen causing your mother to call after you.

“Where are you hurrying, dears?”

“We are going over to Luke’s” you say, turning back to her.

“Oh, the cheesecake is almost ready, don’t you wanna stay for a slice?”

“Sounds great mum but we are really in a hurry, we’ll eat some when we are back.” and with that you are basically out of the door with Reggie following close behind. 

Luke was alone when the two of you buste into the garage.

“Whoo, guys!” he jumps up from his camping chair “ Never heard of knocking?”

“Sorry, Lu.” you say with an apologetic look. “Do you mind us joining you in..were you writing?”

“Oh, yeah. Just working on some new songs. You guys can stay, I was getting pretty lonely anyway.” he gestures to the couch. You and Reggie sit down. “So what exactly brings you here? Not that I mind.”

Reggie meets your gaze before he coughs slightly.

“Uhm..Huh. I-” 

“Is something wrong?” Luke walks over to you and Reggie causing Reggie to look at you with pleading eyes.

You looked back at him not sure what to do.

Now this made Luke wave his hands in front of your faces.

“What’s going ooon?”

“Luke..can you- Please don’t freak out.” says Reggie.

“Well that’s just gonna  freak him out, babe..” you say taking a deep breath.

“Look, I’m just gonna say it. I-We really like you, dude.” 

 “I..I like you guys too, man. Why are you actin so weird?” 

Luke asks, genuinely confused. 

“Not like friends Luke.” you say.

“What?” the brunette leaned forward with raised eyebrows “I don’t get it.”

“We fancy you mate.” said Reggie suddenly. Well at least the cat’s out of the bag. 

You look at the singer’s face, searching for any emotion or just reaction of any kind. But nothing. He just stares at your boyfriend with an unreadable expression until he finally moves, and leans back on the couch.

“Huh.” he scoffs and looks at you and then at Reggie “Both of you?”

“Yeah.” you confirmed. 

“Is that..possible?” 

“Uhum, yeah. I get it if you want me out of the band and-” rEggie started rambling which caused Luke to grab his shoulder and shake him

“Dude, stop! Why would I do that? I’m just processing. So..If i potentially like you guys back.. than what?” 

“We like, I don't know, invite you into the relationship I guess and just start dating with you too?” you said hesitantly. Your words are followed by a few seconds of silence.

“I mean that sounds great.”

“Really?” questions Reggie excitedly.

“Yeah, I mean I love you guys, just never thought about it being romantic feelings..but I guess, going out with you doesn’t sound bad at all”

Poor Luke was crushed by the two of you hugging him. He ends up giggling but he doesn’t protest or anything.

“So what, you’ll take me out on a date now, or something?” he esks once you let go of him. You shrug, think of date ideas but then something pops in your mind.

“We could go over to my house, my mom made cheesecake.”

“I love your mums cooking but..I am not a fan of cheesecake.”

“Trust me on this, mate. Y/N’s mum's cheesecake is wicked. But even if you don’T like it we could i don’t know go out to mcdonalds and share an ice cream or something”

“I love that. Let’s go.”

You grab Luk’s hand and Reggie kinda awkwardly does the same with Luke’s free hand. The boys look at each other with flushed cheeks and you can’t help but smile at them. You go and place a small kiss on their cheeks before pulling them towards the door.

“Let’s go”

[hanna-kin]

Eagles episode 1 and 2

Okay so I've actually been pretty excited for this season to air and I'm really happy that they realise 2 episodes every week.

I'll discuss the two episodes now so spoilers a head.

So the third season really went out with a bang and I was really looking forward to see how the cliffhanger unfolded. Not just the shooting but Amie and Elias getting together.

I don't know, it just felt a bit anticlimactic. We ended with someone being shot so I was expecting a bit more to be honest but no hospitals, no blood no drama.

Instead we see flashback to Mats and Petra and I couldn't care less about them so I'm going to act like we didn't see it.

Instead we opened up to Amie singing at the charity event, looking for Elias the entire time and Elias playing hockey but wanting the game to be over, Ludde being his angsty self and Felicia at the treatment facility.

Immediately we learn that Andreas was shot so I was right about that. Yay! We don't learn much more than that though but Ludde has still not read Felicia's letter. He's too scared.

Elias only wants to go see Amie but that's not possible even after the game. I do like them incorporating Felicia watching it with the other girls and thar journalist asking all the inappropriate questions. Naima immediately takes notice of Felicia's reaction and approaches her afterwards. I'm really looking forward to see where they end up, friends? Girlfriends? Give me both!

Meanwhile Amie is approached by someone from US based record company who wants to sign her but her current management is very shady about it. Like what is going on? I'm intrigued and annoyed already.

Michael shows up but Amie is having none of it. I love her for putting up her boundaries. And I love her and Petra being back to have a strong relationship.

Elias and Amie reunite and I love their scenes. They are nervous and excited and a bit awkward. Their chemistry is great for these scenes and they are definitely becoming my favourite couple and characters individually.

Then we have Andreas who wakes up in the hospital which is great. But there's something wrong. We need to tell him about the test results.

Hm something is not great... definitely the main focus for him this season.

And in the final seconds we finally see Jack. And he looks very bothered and concerned and remorseful?

There are some things i liked, Felice and Naima and Amie and Elias but the first episode was very lowkey and a bit boring. Not bad but I had expected more of everything. More drama and more angst.

Episode 2

Episode 2 opens up with Ludde Andreas and Sam. Andreas is back home again and him and Sam are adorable together.

Ludde is all sus though about whar really happened to Andreas because apparently noone knows? There's definitely shit going down here. Ludde is not going to let it rest.

Once again we get hints that something is really wrong but we never get to know. Probably some sort of illness.

I just have to point it out. Luddes dad is just so awkward. The acting doesn't work sometimes and this scene is super weird. 😂

Klara is back again and has just learnt some bad news about the company that is being moved abroad. She questions it but it's too late. So now many people will lose their jobs. Poor Klara she's too young for this. And fuck those men belittling her. You go girl. I can't stop thinking about how pretty she is.

Ludde is still struggling in school but I'm struggling to care. I don't know. Maybe I just don't like him that much.

I've been looking forward to Elias' struggles with working out and food being dealt with so I was so happy to see it being brought up. Didn't like him shaming Omar though. No sir. I feel so sorry for him. He does feel very easily triggered which we see later on.

I love Aime joining them and Elias trying to be casual and Ludde just looking between them like "what are you two doing"

And when Klara joins things get even more stiff and awkward. You can also tell that Amie is very insecure about Klara and Elias. I can't blame her and I think its something they can work out quickly because it's probably the least exciting storyline. The message from Elias to Amie was so sweet and innocent. I like this side of Elias alot. And I like him teaching her to skate. Cute. They are really getting to know eachother and I like their vibe. They are trying to figure things out and they don't want it to be a secret anymore.

More scenes with Felicia and Naima and more signs of Felicia dealing with what Jack did to her. Ugh I hate that man. I'm glad we see slow signs of her doing better though. I think that's important. She confindes in Naima and learns to open up. She's ready to move on and heal and seeks help and guidance in order to be able to. I hope we get to see more of that.

Then qe have ludde and the meme and I still don't care that much. I do understand how awful it must be though. He's under so much pressure.

I love Klara standing up for him and I can see their friendship grow. As long as it stays a friendship I'm happy. They bring up good things in eachother I think. I want to see more of their friendship too.

Then we are back to Amie and Elias on their date. Immediately it becomes evident just what a terrible place Elias is at with his eating. He's having an anxiety attack just looking at the burger and ends up leaving. There’s something with the editing of thar scene though that's just messy. Is he meant to go to the bathroom or what. It's just rushed and ot threw me off.

Amie spots Klara and Ludde and jumps to conclusions. She immediately texts Elias about it and confronts him. Meanwhile he's struggling with his anxiety and it looks like he might have thrown up.

Finally we see Klara telling Ludde about her issues which is nice. I think Ludde is a good person to talk to. Even if his dad will me immediately affected by it.

Klara asks about the letter and Ludde says he doesn't deserve her. And he doesn't even know where she is.

Klara does though 👀

I like ep 2 so much better and I'm already looking forward to the next couple of episodes. What is wrong with Andreas, what will happen with Elias? Will he open up to Amie?

And what will happen with Ludde and Felicia?

What did you think about the first episodes? What are you looking forward to?

[abuckyproblem]

What’s His Name?

Summary: Bucky helps you out. But then you discover he has paying too much atention on you.

Pairing: Bucky x fem!reader

Warnings: mention of sexual abuse (nothing graphic), mention of financial problems, a mom and daughter family, reader being awful (for a little), fluff, angst, self loathing and Bucky calling the reader doll (that is a warning to me).

A/N: I just had this on my mind. English is not my first language so I’m pretty sure mistakes were made. Sorry in advance.

Words: 4,4k.

~

"C'mon Rogers, pick up!" You think as the telephone rings by the 10th time. It isn't your style to look for help, but this time you really need it. And even if you two aren't the best of friends, you know you can count on him. Well, everybody knows they can count on Captain America. - "Hello?" A voice you don't recognise answers. - "Who is this?" Tonight really isn't your luck night, you can't catch a break. - "Barnes. You?" Really can't catch a fucking break. You don't need a man that doesn't even look in your eyes, you need someone that you can trust. - "Oh, hi Barnes. It's (y/n). Can I speak with Rogers, please? It's important." - "Steve isn't here. He went off to some vacation time with Sharon and left his phone with me. He won't be back until tomorrow night." - "Fuck." With all the chaos that had happened you forgot about this. - "What you need, (y/l/n)?" No way you are going to tell Bucky Barnes what just happened. You know eachothers for months now and never shared a word. Not gonna happen.

- "Nothing. Thanks, bye." While you are putting the payphone back on the hook you hear him saying something but that doesn't stop you. So you just nod to the police officer besides you and follow her back to the cell on the precinc. You consider calling some other friend of yours, but you know that this would open a lot of scars to a lot of people if it gets out. So no. You got this. Looks like a night behind bars is coming your way. Definitely not your luckiest night.

--------- You are lie down on the metal bench of the cell trying to calm yourself down when an officer calls your name and yells that your bail has been paid. - "What? Who paid my bail? Nobody knows I'm here." You asked. - "He is waiting for you, go see for yourself."

Right after you cross the door you see him. Pure beauty and indifference. Bucky Barnes. Him and his usual look, jacket and gloves, so not a peak of his vibranium arms shows. In a sec your mind understands what he did. You don't even stop, just keeps walking, needing to get ouf of this place. When you feel the wind in your face and the smell of Manhattan you are able to stop and take a deep breathe for the first time in hours. So you just stand there, eyes closed, trying to take the entire city within your breath. Most people hate the smell of big citties, but you love it. It remembers you of all your teenage dreams. Bucky just stop by your side. The man really like his silence. - "Traced the number?" Is the first thing you say. - "Hmm." Is all he answers. - "How much I owe you for the bail?" - "Wanna tell me what the hell were you thinking knocking out three guys in a bar?" Well, looks like the man can form a sentence if he wants to. You look at him, right in those blue gorgeous eyes of his. You have so much anger in yours that not even the champion of stares can hold your glance. - Look man, I know you did a nice thing and all, but I did not ask you to do that. So thank you, I really appreciate it, but that does not mean I owe you an explanation or anything. And yeah, you probably don't deserve me being a bitch to you, but, right now, that is all can I can give. So I'm sorry, but excuse me. And you go off, walking without direction in the middle of the night. If you had looked back you would have seen only concern in those ocean eyes.

--------- While you enter the room in the next mornig you know you are fucked. The voice message that Tony left you telling you to come to the tower first thing made it very clear that he wasn't happy. So all you can do now is trying to keep your head straight and keep your patience. Tony, Bucky, Nat and Hill are in the conference room waiting for you. Your eyes crosses paths with Bucky's and he says "I didn't told him", shrugging his shoulders. You just nodded in response. - "And we are gonna talk about that latter, James. But firsts things first:" Tony said, turning to you "explain this" doing that thing he does with his phone and putting up a video in the middle of the room. There it is. What had pissed you off so much last night. The surveillance camera got the whole thing. You, on the bar, having a pint on your own when a guy sits by next to you. Trying to get to close. You avoiding him the best way you can. He putting a hand in your knee. You calmly taking his hand and putting on the balcony, and then you trying to get up. He putting the same hand on your thight as you were standing up and trying to pull you to his lap. You taking his hand and breaking every finger on it. He falling from the pain. Another guy trying to hit you. You kicking him in the balls with your ankle boots, and then he was in the floor, clearly screaming. The bartender trying to grab you from behind the bar. You punching him so hard in the face that he passed out at the spot. Every other costumer of that shit hole running for the exit. You trying again to leave. The first guy recovering, grabbing a beer bottle and trying to hit you from behind with it. You showing that all that training every day for years realy payed off being able to, not only, escape from his attack but taking the bottle from his hand and breaking it in his face. Then the cops getting there. You putting both your hands up and letting them arrest you. That was it. Tony just looks back at you. "So?" - "So what? I think it's clear as water what happened. The only thing missing is the audio so you could hear me saying to thar creep that if he touched me again I would break every finger of his hand. I'm a woman of my word." Nat lefts escape a small laugh. - "Nothing funny about this!" Tony is really angry "You are an avenger, (y/n)! You can not use your powers on civillians." - "I didn't use my powers!" You cut him off, because if there is one person entitle to feel angry, that person is you. "I just used my fight abilities. Anyone with a little bit of training could have done that." - "That doesn't matter! You are not responsible for just you know, everything you do can splash on the team!" - "Nobody knows I'm an avenger, Tony! That is the point of me wearing a mask. So I'm just suppose to let the man put his hand on me for the good of the fucking team?" - "That is not what I'm saying, (y/l/n)." - "What the fuck are you saying then, Tony? Because it sounds that you are pissed at me for defending myself from a criminal. That man should be behind bars, not me! Yeah, we are the avengers, we fight aliens and big guns, but a woman in distress? Whatever! You know what? I'm not having this. Have you thought that I'm probably not the first woman that this man does that? I would bet my money that he does that shit every week. And most of the girls out there can't defende themselfs. So good chances that he made a lot of woman go home crying. Why am I the only one that cares about that?" You can feel your tears coming. "Fuck you, Tony. Fuck all of this." You need to leave this place, so that is what you do. So much for keeping your patience.

----- Two blocks away from the tower and you notice that he has been following you. The angry in you is making your bad at your job. If this was a normal day you would've noticed him in two seconds. Well, maybe not him, Bucky isn't a world renowned spy/soldier for nothing. Not one word before yesterday and now it seems that the man can't leave you be. So you just stop and turns around, letting him know you made him. He doesn't stop walking your way, just slows down a little. When he gets to a hearing range you ask "Tony put you up to this? Made you follow me? I'm not going to ruin the team's name, you can be sure of that" - "You think that Stark can boss me around?" No, you don't. He stops a few feet away from you. - "So what the hell are you doing? He look at you, straight in your eyes. What's that expression on his face? Is it sadness? After a few moments he asks you, shifting his feet. - "What's the name of the guy that hurted you?" Your heart freezes. - "He didn't hurt me, Barnes. He tried to, just that. You saw the video. And I don't know his name". - "I'm not talking about last night. I'm asking about the one that actually succed in hurting you". Impossible. He doesn't know about this. Only two people know, yours oldest friends, and they would never tell nobody. - "I don't know what you are talking about it". He sighs. Yes, that is sadness you are seeing. - "I notice that you cringe when I get close to you. If it was only with me I would get it, but then I saw you having the exact same reaction when Sam, Tony.. any man that comes close to you. Even Steve, and Steve doesn't scare anyone, he is the best man on the land. That and what you did last night, the things you just said in the conference room.... It doesn't take a genius to know that one plus one equals two." You are on the edge of a full collapse. You don't even know what shocks you the most right now: that Bucky Barnes has been paying this much attention to you or that he cares enough to confront you about it. Or the fact that your trauma is so exposed. You thought that it was behind you. Obviously it isn't. - His name doesn't matter. He is in the past. You feel like screaming your lungs out and crying, but Bucky is right there looking at you, so you don't do that. Instead you kick the trash can that is besides you. And kick. And kick. And you imagine is the face of that horrible man. The face you would never forget. So you punch it. But without releasing your powers. You don't want Tony to be mad. The trash is all on the street now. You hear Bucky telling the people on the street to just keep walking, that there isn't nothing to see in there. And you keep on punching the trash, the street, anything. You just keep punching until your pain takes you out completely and you fell on your knees, in the middle of the garbage, tears falling out. And you just cry. You feel someone picking you up from that chaos and you hear bucky's voice "c'mon doll, you don't deserve to be in the trash. lets take you out of here". He puts you up, but support you with his arm. He begins to walk and your legs start to copy his move. You lost track of time, but one moment you regain control of yourself. Bucky realises that and stops, letting you to try to stand on your own. - "You okay, doll?" You never imagined that you would like being called a doll. You are not a doll, you are a person, with her own mind. But the way Bucky says it makes you feel warm and safe. Falling from his lips you like it. - "Am I smelling like trash?" Is the first thing that came in your mind and the moment the words were out you regreted. Who says things like that? Who says things like that in front of the sexiest man alive? You should go home, take a shower and stay in bed for the rest of your life. But that question makes Bucky give out a little laugh, and that helps you feel okay. - "No, you smell great as you always do. I didn't let you be around the trash for that long. But again, are you okay, doll?" - "Yeah. Twice in two days that someone rescue me. That is not normal for me. Thank you, Barnes. With all my heart, thank you". - "Twice in two days and you still don't call me by my name." He scoffs. And that makes you smile. - "Thank you, Bucky!" He sees your little smile, and that make him let go of the tension he had been carrying around since you called Steve's phone last night. - "You're welcome." You start to look around and discover that you are in the corner of 54st and 5th. You don't remember how you got there, but it's not that far from the tower, so he didn't had to carry you for long. An ideia pass your mind. Doing something that always cheers you up. And the super soldier is still looking at you, trying to understand what to do next. - "Look, I thought of something that will help me now. So, again, thank you Bucky! Really! For everything. I will never forget this. If you can please just keep my secret between us, I would appreciate it." - "Of course, doll. I will never tell anyone. You good? I know you aren't, but.... are you?" -"I will be. Don't worry." -"Do you want some company? On the thing that will help you?" You smile. That would've been fun. -"No need, Bucky. You have done enough." -"I didn't ask if there was need, I asked if you want it." Man, nothings passes the Winter Soldier, does it? -"Only if you promess you won't judge". -"I would never". The truth is you judge yourself a little" -"Let's see" and you start to walk down 5th avenue.

---- When you get to the corner of 50st and 5th you stop turns to him, because you need to explain. Hell, the man already knows your biggest secret and stood by you, what is this in comparison? -"Okay, so let me just tell you something" You are feeling better already, the four blocks with Bucky on your side, without saying a word helped you to find yourlsef again. "I grew up on a town that had nothing to do. Nothing. My family is just my mom and me, and she worked from 8 to 8, monday to friday. But in the weekends we always went to the mall in the next town. It was our thing We used to go the movies, ate at McDonalds, and eye shopping since we didn't had money to buy anything. All those beautifull things we couldn't had. And that stuck with me. I know it sounds kinda sad, but it isn't. So now when I feel down and homesick I go eye shopping too, but with better options. Now I don't see small town stores, now I see clothes that are almos art, so incredible they belong in a museum." Bucky had listening to every word you said like his life deppend on it, but when you were over he starts to look around until he understands. He left an "Oh no" escape. Of course he knows where he is, growing up in New York. This place has been out here even before he was born, and that is a lot. - "Oh yeeeees" you start to laugh at his face. "But for real now, you don't have to do this. I'm okay. Espeacilly here. I know this place better than my own house, and I would never lost my temper in front of high luxury brands." You are actually wishin real bad tha he stays, but you can't ask him that. He had done way too much already, and he doesn't owe you anything. - "Will you believe me if I tell you I never put a foot on this place, babydoll?" Babydoll now? What is this? And why you get butterflies hearing Bucky say it? - "Ok, I can't let this goes on. Lets go inside!" And you star to make these stupid little jumps you do when you are happy as you move towards the Saks, without realising. And again you don't look back, but if you did you would see the most mesmerizing smile on the most handsome man. He follows you and meets you by the entrance. Saks is like Disney for you. All the wonder, the magic. And that shows in your face. Bucky notices it. The way you are happy in here. He wishes you could be happy like this with him, but you would never guessed that. - "So now I know where you spend all your money" Bucky says, whitout even realising it. He just wanted to be a part of this. Be a part of one happy memory of yours, not only police stations and trash. - "Nah, like I said, it's eye shopping. I'm pretty basic when comes to clothes. There is a difference between what you think it looks good on others and what fits you. You know? But I admit, the shoes are tempting." Bucky didn't know. He thinks that everything fits you. You two just kept walking in the store in a comfortable silence, just looking it. You looking at everything and Bucky looking at you. You are completely on your space, just being. Until you start to miss something. His presence. Where is Bucky? You start to look for him, retracing your steps, and find him looking at a killer McQueen leather jacket. -"You should go for it. It would look perfect on you" You say, unable to resist. You weren't lying. That combination would leave all the women in the the state of New York staring at Bucky. Like that doesn't happen already. -"Did you see the price on this thing? This is absurd" You sighed. Sometimes he does shows his age. - "It's a McQueen. If you treat her well, your kids could inherited her. That is the thing with these types of clothes, they can outlive you, and they never losw their vallue, and their are never out of style". - "I'm 106, doll. I don't think a jacket can outlive me". That makes you burst untill full laugh, Bucky following along. Not because he thinks he's funny, but because if you laugh, he laughs. And in this moment he starts to understand that. A noise from your phone takes both of you out off your the laughing transe. You take it off your pocket and sees a message from your therapist saying a spot just opened up and asking if you could meet her in 30 minutes. You had forgotten that you asked her if you two could meet when you left the conference room. It seems like days ago. You were loving your time with Bucky, but you know you need this, so you texted her back saying that you would be there. - "Sorry Bucky, I have to go. I can't thank you enough for what you did." -"Everything okay?" Now you can see the look of concern in his face, and you don't know how to react to that. - "Yeah, yeah. My therapist just texted me to say that she can see me in half an hour. But it's all the way back in Brooklyn, so I should be going. I'm really sorry to leave you here with her, the perfect jacket, but I know I need this now". - "No problem, you should do whats best for you" - "Thanks, Bucky" you say, laying a sweet kiss on his cheek. Where this came from? You have no idea, but you are too tired too care. So you go, leaving the greatest man you have ever meet, in one of your favorite places. You are almost at the escalator when hear him saying something. - "It's working for you?" Bucky asks, but you don't really understand. -"Sorry?" - "Therapy. Does it work for you?" - "Oh yeah. I mean, I know I've been awful since yesterday but, believe me, if I didn't go to therapy I would have done something way worst than destroying a trash can and crying on top of garbage. Why are you asking this, Bucky?" - "Oh, nothing". You aren't as good as him when it comes to reading people, but even you could spot that lie. - "So now you know two of my secrets, but you won't tell me the truth? Really, Barnes?" He sighed, looking to the floor. Did you say something wrong? You were almost apologising when he gave you his honest answer. - "I've been doing some mandatory therapy, but I don't see a lot of results". You didn't know him very well, but you knew enough to feel important when he spoke this truth to you. Bucky Barnes is not a man that tell his hearth truths to anyone. That makes you bring in your A game. He helped you so much in those last hours, you want to do the same to him. - "Have you talked to your therapist about it? Because the way I see it, everybody needs a therapist. You, me, everybody in this store, in this block, in the fucking planet. Everybody. But, you see, everybody is different. Which means everybody have different responses to different therapies. That's why that are so many of styles. Because what may work for me, may not work for you. So, be honest with your therapist and with yourself. Maybe he/she can change some things and you get a better response. Just don't give up. You deserve to be happy, Bucky. You deserve to let go of your past and start a future you can be really proud off." As you were saying the words you saw Bucky getting uncomfortable, and when you told him he deserves to be happy you saw as he rooled his eyes so much that all the blue got lost to the white. - "You are giving me too much credit, doll." -"Why?" - "I don't think happiness is stored for me" - "Well, I'm sure off it. Do you wanna know why?" - "Why?" - "You were on the carnival on Coney Island last month, weren't you?" He wasn't expecting that. - "What?" - " Yes or no?" - "Yeah, I was, but what that has to do with anything?" - "I saw you, Bucky. I saw you winning the biggest stuffed bear for that little kid that was trying for so long but wasn't able to hit all the marks. I saw you just going there, winning and then giving your prize to the kid with a wink. I saw that. I also saw you helping people with their aim at the shooting range at the tower. I also saw you filling up the groceries list with everyones favorites so it never ran out. and I also saw you following a girl that had been so rude to you the day before because you wanted to know if she was alright. And you did that thinking nobody was noticing. Without expecting any kind of rewards. You just did it because you are good. And people like you are rare. And people like you deserve to be happy." He had the biggest shocked look at his face when you finished talking. Yeah, Bucky, you weren't the only one paying attention. You were gonna loose your appointment if you didn't leave soon, but there was just one more thing you needed to say. - "Still on earth, Bucky?" - "I'm listening, doll." - "Before, you told me that you thought it was okay if I cringe by your approximation. I would never. And nobody thinks about you this way anymore. Only yourself Stop thinking these things of yourself. Please." And with that, you were gone, leaving Bucky without words, planted in the middle of Saks. It took him quite some time to move.

_____ Waking up the next morning Bucky could not stopping thinking about you. Were you okay? Did the encounter with your therapist help you? When he was gonna see you again? What was the name of the guy? He was gonna kill him. Yesterday night Stark called a meeting with everyone. Steve had already arrived from his off days, so everybody was present. Something had changed since that morning because now Stark were deffending you and was asking for a manhunt to find that guy from the bar. Bucky hadn't told anything to anyone. And in the same meeting Stark also told the whole team that you where taking some weeks off. So all that Bucky could do was hope that you are okay. While he takes a shower and gets ready for the day he replays all the amazing things you told him, and that lights up a little spark on his heart, but then he remembers all the terrible deeds he made in the past and all you had to suffer in your life. You deserves to be the happiest person on earth, and he knows he isn't the one that was going to help you achieve that. But a man is allow to dream. So he left his mind go wandering about you, your smile and the things he would do to make you happy. He gets to the kitchen still daydreaming when Steve's voice wakes him up. - "Crazy what happened to (y/n)." - "Hmm" - "There is a package to you. There" Steve points out to the other side of the giant kitchen island. "No sender, but the guys downstairs checked up. It's not a bomb" - "And why would someone send me a bomb?" - "I don't know. My guess is that it wouldn't be the first time someone tries to kill you this way" He wasn't wrong about that. Bucky opens up the package and the first thing he sees is a hadwritten note. I really do think that the world needs Bucky Barnes in these. There is always room for more beauty out there. Can you do me a favor? Every time you wear it remember the great man you are and how happy you deserve to be. Hope to see you when I get back. But in case you need someone to bail you ot of jail, some company while eye shopping or anything else just give me a call. Behind the note, involved in silk, it was the leather jacket from yesterday. Steve was wrong. This was a type of bomb.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #311

“somebody told me you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that i had in february of last year.”

What is something that is so awful it gives you pain in your teeth? Extremely sweet and/or cold treats. What is something you would like to teach someone? I love educating people about meerkats, snakes, tarantulas, opossums... lots of animals. What is something people tend to come to you about? For me to take pictures for them. What is something you would be willing to gamble? I don't mess with that. What's something you're absolutely 100% sure about yourself? Uhhh that I really like creating things and just being artistic. How often do you self-reflect? Probably too much, really. When was the last time you realized that you were the problem, if ever? I feel like a problem now, still living with and financially depending on my mom. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? Ha, Mom and I got lost driving one day looking for roadkill for me to photograph (that will always feel weird saying) and wound up pretty far north from home, kinda close to Virginia. It was a fun afternoon/evening. What are some sights around the world you would like to see some day? I'm honestly not crazy about pursuing ancient architecture, but I'd take the opportunity for some if I could, especially in Egypt. OH! Venice would be cool, and whatever that city is with the umbrella "ceiling" layer outside. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? No. Apart from sleeping, name something you enjoy doing in bed: Sit on my laptop or read. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah, or at least something of the sort. Do you stay friends with your exes? Girt and I are close friends, while the others I don't have contact with. Not because we're on bad terms (I may be w/ Jason, but I think our last meeting was freeing for both of us and distilled any remaining tension), we just don't talk. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Pretty sure no, I'd crash. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? One or two. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. How many pregnant people do you know? Good Lord, a lot. People are bored in quarantine apparently lmao. Who was the last person to play with your hair? Myself, outta boredom, kinda just twirling it. Have you ever seen the inside of a computer? Yeah. ^If yes, can you name any of the components? I could probably identify the motherboard. If you could get a new phone right now, would you/which kind? I would. Idk what kind, though; I'm not very familiar with what's up-to-date. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. If you had the chance, would you start your life entirely over? No. How old is the eldest member of your family? I don't know really, given both pairs of my grandparents are dead. Probably some aunt or uncle on Mom's side. I don't remember their birth order. Do you drink the milk from the bowl after you eat all the cereal? No, it grosses me out for whatever reason. UNLESS it's after a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, then I'll drink it. Do you know anybody who has had an online relationship? Yeah, me, and some others. One thing that your guy best friend doesn't like about you: He's never told me about something he doesn't like, so I can't speak for him. How about your girl best friend? Ummm you'd have to ask her, too. Do you loan your friends money? *recites the usual financial woe story* Are you taller than your siblings? No. Do you have “photoshoots” with your friends/family members? Definitely not regularly by any means. Are you generous? If you ignore monetary generosity for obvious reasons, I think I am in other ways. Are you afraid of lizards? No no no, I love those tiny lil dinosaur boiz and gorls!!!!! :''') Ahhh, I want a tegu especially one day. How legible is your signature? It's perfectly legible, imo. How hot are your neighbors? I don't even know my neighbors. Well, Mom's spoken to the woman to our left more than once if they were both outside, but I know she's an older woman whose appearance I never really noted, but regardless, I know I wasn't attracted to her. Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who's your buddy? Yeah, I can finally play it regularly since they began offering a daily box with a few items in it, like the balls. I'm not checking, but I think I'm like... around 23? My buddy is Charmeleon because I love love loooove that evolution line and absolutely want a Charizard ASAP. :') What's the most daring thing you have ever done? I guess that would be the story about how I challenged my rather intense fear of fair rides that can trouble the stomach by going on whatever the thing's called where you slowly go very high up and then drop down abruptly. Yeah yeah yeah, I was safe the whole time, but it was daring by my standards, haha. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced twice already; the first time it closed while I was in the psych hospital and had to take it out, and the second one I just gave up with it after I kept losing them in my sleep and they just fell into the fucking void or something because I could never find them come morning. I eventually had none left to replace those I'd lost. And yes, I wore the curved types, they still just came out somehow???? Probably didn't help that I sleep like, ON my face sometimes, but... lol. I've been thinking of doing it one more time, but this time with a hoop ring. Nostril piercings are just really cute to me. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Somehow. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? She's single. Do you have tan lines? HA. Absolutely not. Not even in the summer. Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip piercing? Yeah, he had snake bites. Has anyone told you they were in love with you? Yeah. Have you ever seen a bald eagle in person? Yes. Have you ever been vomited on? What about in vice versa? Oh my fucking god no, don't even make me imagine it. What is one family member you wish you were closer to? My sisters. When and where did you lose your virginity? Since then, what was the longest time you've ever gone without sex? I dunno, his bed or mine when I was maybe like 16 or 17. Been many years. What is your biggest fear about making a total commitment to someone? That I'll experience heartbreak again. Do you think that your life is exciting enough to be made into a movie? Do you think anybody would actually enjoy it if it were a movie? lol fuuuuck no If you were the opposite sex, would you be attracted to you? I don't know? If I was a different person, I'd obviously have unique tastes, too. Have you ever walked around your house naked? Oh no, I'm way too uncomf for that. Do you prefer profile pictures of you by yourself or with someone else? Me by myself. Did it bother you to find out that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Toothfairy were not real? Not really, no. I'd been suspicious about it for a long time anyway. Is there a food that you only recently started to like? If so, what is it and when did you start liking it? How often do you try again foods you don't like to see if your tastes have changed? Hm... I'm unsure about "recently." I'm not very adventurous with food at all, so the answer for the last part is not often at all. Who would you NOT want to read the surveys you've posted on here? What would most likely happen if they did read it? Is there anyone you actually wish would read your survey answers but doesn't? Probably my therapist lmaoo. It'd spark some concern, especially regarding my PTSD, for him to be able to see "wow, she is deeply scarred." I don't really "wish" anyone else would read them, other than the occasional answer I wish He Who Shall Not Be Named could hear. Do you watch Glee? If so, which song do you want to hear on there that they have not yet done? If not, which TV show do you think has the best soundtrack? I don't watch it. The answer is obviously Supernatural, like good good shit right thar. Do you think you would be able to pull off a crime perfectly, without being caught? What about other lies? For example, cheating on your partner without getting caught? Would you be able to get away with it? Ha, hell no. I'm way too clumsy in more ways than physical and would overlook so many details. And I wouldn't WANT to get away with cheating on my partner, thanks. Do you know anyone who has divorced and remarried the same person? What do you/would you think of someone who does that? I don't think I do, and it's not really my business, but I'd have silent doubts, probably, depending on why they split. Do you say goodnight to anybody before you go to bed? If so, does it feel weird if you go to bed without saying it to them? I say goodnight to my snake Venus; even if she's in her hide, I say it when I walk past her terrarium. It probably wouldn't feel weird not to, but I want to, even though she can't even hear me lmao. How do you react when you're scared? Do you scream, jump, cover your eyes, etc.? I am VERY jumpy, tend to gasp easily, and sometimes scream if I'm seriously scared. Who is the best storyteller you know? What do you find best about their storytelling? Is there an interesting story of theirs you'd like to share? I don't know. Do you strongly dislike (or even hate) any bands or musical artists? If so, what caused such a strong negative emotion towards them? Not for purely their music, that's just stupid, but I could certainly dislike artists for what they do as people. For example, I haven't looked into it whatsoever, so it could be a load of bull, but I know Manson recently had some sexual misconduct or assault allegations rise against him, and honestly, I'd believe it. He's one of my favorite artists (emphasis on the "art"), but definitely not high on my list of favorite people and keeps doing things that are making me lose more and more respect for him. Then there's Otep... again, one of my favorite musical artists. I agree with a good handful of her values, but she is nevertheless an absolute holier-than-thou, intolerant bitch. I don't like her as a person. Do your parents have any collections? If so, what do you think of those collections? Dad collects Cleveland Browns and Carolina Hurricanes stuff; it's all over his "mancave." I don't have an opinion on them. Do you have a favourite role of Johnny Depp's? If you don't like him, what is your favourite role of an actor you like? I'm not familiar enough with all his acting roles for this, but I know he's incredibly good at what he does. If you were in a competition to win your dream prize, and you were allowed to decide what the competition would be (trivia about your favourite band, a foot race, singing, etc.) , what would you choose and why? Uhhhh maybe facts about meerkats? Reason being it's something I'm honestly very knowledgeable about. What is your least favourite thing about the English language? Are there any other languages you prefer besides English? It breaks its own "rules" ALL the time. If I was fluent in German, then I might actually prefer it. There are many parts to the German language that make it very precise and clear what and whom you are addressing (ex., there are two different "you"s for singular and plural usage); the only real downside I see to German is the sentence structure is odd, but then again, I mean, it does encourage active listening to get all the parts of a sentence you need to understand what is being said. Would you be upset if a long-term partner confessed that they had committed a serious crime before you met? How do you think it would affect your relationship? Hm. I guess it would depend on the crime? I sure wouldn't be happy hearing they committed an as you said serious crime, but I'd have to consider if there were other red flags for danger going on, again, if it wasn't massive in my eyes. Do you enjoy watching the special features found on most DVDs? What do you usually enjoy more: the deleted scenes, the bloopers, the audio commentary, or the behind-the-scenes footage? I have to be seriously into whatever I'm watching to explore these. I do love me some bloopers, though. Was there something you were afraid of as a child that just seems silly to you now? I had that usual "monster (or in my case, skeleton) in the closet" fear. Have you ever had a crush but then found out he’s gay? Almost positive my puppydog-love middle school bf actually is gay. I also had a crush on a closeted gay guy for a little bit that same school year. Nowadays he is so open about his sexuality and even does drag, and he's great at it! It's wonderful seeing how far he's come in his confidence. Would you ever be a porn star? What'd your name be? Oh no, hunny. Does blood make you squeamish? No. What's your favorite Pokemon? Ninetales. <3 I also have a very soft spot for Charmander, though. What was the last event to cause you any sort of heartache? My older sister got in a wreck yesterday because some impatient bitch ran a red light. She's fine but did break her clavicle and is going to be using a sling for probably a few months. It was definitely upsetting to hear about. What do you do when you like someone? I tend to get very shy around them, more than I naturally am, and smile a lot. I try to stay in contact with the person, and it's maybe a 60/40 chance I'll wait for them to make the move versus me, but I've done it. Do you mind if people just show up at your house unannounced? YEAH. Especially as someone who needs to mentally prepare for company, don't do this. Do you enjoy rain? To a degree. If it hangs around too long, it affects my depression. I LOVE going to sleep to rain pattering on the window, though. You love Jesus, yes? I don't believe he was a bad person; quite the opposite, actually, but I don't "love" him. I won't go too deep into why just because I'm not in the mood to offend people today lmao. Who’s your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. She's my rock. How many different beverages have you had in the last 24 hours? Just water and Mountain Lightning (a Mountain Dew ripoff for us poor folk, haha). Oh wait, I did have a meal replacement shake for lunch yesterday, I think? Or that might have been the day before... How many brothers does your father have? None, unless I've seriously forgotten him having one. He only has a sister, to my knowledge. What kind of camera do you use? I have a Canon EOS Rebel T6. If you could change you name, what would you change it to? I wouldn't. 25 years with a name I quite like has worked out fine. What was the last song you listened to in the car? Uhhh it was "Drugs" by Mother Mother, I think. Are you the youngest, oldest, middle, or only child? I'm the middle child between my parents. What's the best thing about the place you currently live? Hm. I would say for practicality's sake that we're very close to pretty much everything, but seeing as I enjoy long car rides... With that in mind, I'd say who our landlord is. She's a very close family friend who is very understanding of our financial position, so pretty forgiving with some things. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yessss, I need breakfast to start my day off. Can you hear anyone talking right now? No, just singing. I'm listening to Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. What's your favorite flavor of ramen? I solely enjoy the spicy pork bowl by Yakisoba. I've never had another I've liked. I lived off that shit in the apartment. I guess what they say about college kids is true, haha. Never realized that. When was the last time you had a bowl of soup? What flavor? Back when I got my snake eyes tongue piercing, I tried vegetable soup only to find I didn't like it anymore. Do you have any tinned foods in your cupboard at the moment? Yeah, lots. I couldn't name 'em all, besides like, diced pineapple, corn, and beans. We always have those. What was the last food item that you tried for the first time? On Thanksgiving, I was actually brave with food for once and tried that sweet potato dish that's topped with marshmallow, and it was okay. I never liked sweet potato before, and while I couldn't eat a lot of it, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Does anyone in your family have green eyes? No. What was the name of your first ever pet? I was born into my family with a beautiful collie named Trigger, but I have zero recollection of her because she passed away from old age when I was very young. My first personal pet was either my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow (no, I have no idea why I named a green lizard that); I can't remember who came first. I adored them both. I feel so bad looking back though, I was so uninformed on how to properly care for a water dragon that she (or he, we were never sure) was, as far as correct husbandry goes, horribly taken care of and stunted from having a tank too small. I consider myself lucky she seemed to really trust me and loved being held, even sleeping on me, and she did live out her full lifespan. I was lucky; please, please, never adopt a reptile until you are properly educated on their unique care. Where was the last place you went out for lunch? What did you order? Mom bought me McDonald's a few days back because I was really craving it. I had a double cheeseburger and for once large fries, because that's what I was seriously wanting. I usually get small or medium. Where was the last place you went for an evening meal? What did you order? I feel bad and selfish for breaking my own "stay the fuck home but for emergencies" rule, but my mom, one of my sisters, and I went out to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. I think I ate a chicken sandwich with Chipotle sauce? I actually don't remember for sure. I do however remember the cheesecake I got: some cinnamon swirl one that was fucking glorious. Oh yeah, and we had an appetizer of these pretzel ball things dipped in fondue. I ate waaaay too much, but it was a special occasion, so whatever. Have you Googled anything today? What? I ensured I spelled "clavicle" correctly. Yaaaay, I did. What do you like to eat for breakfast these days? Special K cereal, a sandwich, sometimes those pancake & sausage on a stick things I mentioned at some point in the last survey I think, or a Jimmy Dean breakfast bowl. Maybe other stuff I'm just not thinking of. Is anyone in your family a nurse? No, but I have family in the medical field. Do you like to wear lipstick? What colors do you think suit you best? Not really, no, but I will sometimes for pictures. It smudges too easily yet is also hard and annoying to get off. I only really wear black. Who was the last person to recommend a book to you? My therapist recommended a book for the whole PHP group, but I can't remember what it was. Something self-care related. Who was the last person to tease or joke around with you, in a friendly way? I wouldn't be surprised if it was Tobey, the "family friend" I mention a lot. She probably said something technically rude that she thought was an appropriate joke. Is there a jar of peanut butter in your house? Yeah, always. Does anyone you know own a tabby cat? How about a cocker spaniel? Tabbies are very common, so yes. I don't think I know anyone with a pure cocker spaniel, but my late dog's mother was one. Do you have blinds or curtains in your bedroom? What colour are they? I have those slanted blinds that you can close by pushing them upwards or downwards with a stick thing. They're white. What was the last beverage you tried for the first time? Some form of juice I wasn't a fan of. Orange and peach, I think? Who was the last person that said you were beautiful? I think a friend on Facebook when I changed my profile picture. Is/are your pet(s) fixed? My cat is neutered, but obviously my ball python isn't. Roman would mark the house like crazy before we got him fixed... but even if he didn't, we still would have done it. Please make spaying/neutering your cats and dogs a financial investment priority. If you do the research, you would marvel over the "damage" especially one fertile cat can cause. Hell, my childhood experience with cats is enough proof of that.

[shprka]

I would definitely be more invested and interested in a story of an unlikely hero. Not like Midoriya Izuku who even without a power has all the qualities of a good hero and then gets a power and chance to prove thar.

I’ve seen and heard and read about this story too many times it seems like it’s something I watched already dozens of times.

I find it hard to relate to his story, because... well, because I’m not like that. It’s hard for me to relate to him, because he’s just so extreme - he’s the epithome of a pure heart, he loves everyone, he wants to help everyone, he’ll do everything to make that happen.

Yes, it’s admirable. But it’s just not realistic.

You know who I wanna see in the new hero stories?

I wanna see more Kirishimas. Plain people who’s first instict isn’t to jump into action. People who are scared to do that. Does that mean they just shouldn’t be heroes, shouldn’t help people? Of course not. I wanna see more people who decide on their own that they wanna be heroes. Peope who are struggling with their own confidence, who reinvent themselves, because they want to do good, help people, be heroes. People without this instinct (but with no less pure heart) who make the decision to jump inti action and help people, even if they know it’s dangerous, even if they could just walk away.

I wanna see more Bakugous! More selfish bastards who are on the good side. Who want to do good, even if the whole world doubts their intentions. Even if everyday they hear they would be a good villain and yet even when kidnapped and threatened don’t even entertain the idea of choosing the bad side. I wanna see heroes as people who are not naturally kind, nice or even polite. Who have a bitch face and are rough manner of being and speaking, people who have a filthy fucking mouth and who deal with a lof of shit in their lives. Peopke who want to be heroes but can’t express their emotions well, who can’t consol people, who don’t know what to say to a crying kid. People who are better with actions that word. People who know they would never be “the perfect nice, smiling hero” everyone want, but they can help and achieve their goals in different ways. People who maybe wanted to do good things for the wring reasons, but learned what it really means and what they lack. Just people who learn from their mistakes and slowly, gradually learn how to be better.

So if another person asks me why I don’t like Deku, I say I have no problem with him as a person, I would even like him if he was a side character. I don’t like his story, I don’t relate to his story and problems, I think he’s too powerful. I think with All Might and the power Deku’s been given it’s too easy for him to be a hero. He’s always been a hero even without any powers, so his story doesn’t feel like it’s growing. He doesn’t BECOME a hero, he never had to. I think he’s not a good main character.

But that’s just my opinion

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Why Shigaraki Hates EVERYONE

looks like i need to explain this cause a lof of people did just blame shigaraki s father or all for one but you guys need to understand this:

the reason shigaraki is in so much pain is not cause of just “one person”, everybody have responsible for the person who shigaraki is now. and shigaraki also know that.

it doesnt matter that they meant it or not cause either way, they did hurt tenko.

his father abused him. but he didnt meant to hurt him this much. he was protecting him with his own way and of course its completely wrong but remember that he is not that different from kota. (i actually feel sorry for him cause i know heis no different from kota, there wasnt a hero for him either and he didnt even get a redemption chance like endeavour even though he was better than endeavour and people just blamed his father for everything. its so sad and unfair.)

his grandmother, grandfather and mother didnt stop koutaro. of course they love tenko and they wanted best for him maybe but still they were just standing there when tenko needed their help.

his sister, the closest person to tenko.

(look at fandom, everyone started to defending her like she is the only person who didnt want to hurt tenko but she wasnt the only one. his mother was holding hana, and grandfather and grandmother were old too.

and i also know how abuse works. she could just be quiet instead of saying that lie,even she was scared. And its not like she had no choice but what she did was selfish and wrong. not every child acted like that, just saying. Yeah it is understandable but like i said, it wasnt only choice. And it doesnt excusing it. not blaming her but its not like every child acted like that. A lot of people are excusing it thats why i said it. i know that every child dont do thar. (and i definitely think that tenko wouldnt do what she did.) but i think shigaraki doesnt blame hana s herself. i think he started to think like every child is like her thats why he started to hate children. this is why he said that “little kids”. shigaraki isnt choosing to blame his sister, his father or his mother or someone else, he is choosing the blame everybody, everything make them like that. shigaraki is choosing the blame fate s itself.)

she loved his brother and she cheered his brother but still, she chose herself to not getting hurt. she didnt mean it. she didnt want his brother s getting hurt either but it doesnt matter cause her lie did hurt tenko.

and its not just his family. all people around tenko. i think, a lot of people did hurt tenko or just watched his getting hurt. they did nothing but hurt him. most of them didnt mean it but it doesnt matter.

nana. all she wanted to protect her son and the world but she did hurt his son anyway. she didnt mean it but she did hurt him.

allmight wanted to be people s hope and he tried to carry all burden by himself. this is why people became so ignorance. maybe if allmight worked with endeavour, todoroki family wouldnt be like that.

and do i even need to talk about people s ignorance in hero society? they did hurt tenko too.

and i dont even need to talk about all for one s manipulation, abuse and dehumanization project. 

dont get me wrong. its not like i am blaming them but you guys need to understand that everyone have a role that making tenko like that, even most of them didnt mean it. but they all makes tenko feel like ABANDONED.

if it was just one or two people, tenko definitely would forgive them without thinking. but in tenko s life, there was nothing else to hold on. there is nothing good in his life, especially after that tragedy. there was only hatred, anger, he felt unfair which is completely normal. he cant just blame one person cause he also knows that it wasnt just one person. it was everyone around him. not just his family, not just his friends. its even random people he doesnt even know. people around him is the “everyone” that shigaraki talking about.

shigaraki never met someone like him, someone like izuku. there wasnt a hero who saved him or who ever tried to save him.

shigaraki doesnt know who to blame. he cant just blame one person cause ‘everyone’ (people around him) did hurt him. this is why he says “everything rubs me the wrong way”. he is trying find a way that he can be a hero, he can be good. he wanted to forgive them too. but EVERYTHING is on his way. his quirk, his family, his friends, people he doesnt even know (even though most of them didnt mean it) so simply world, FATE is against to shigaraki. this is why he hates everything and cause of fate, he started to believe that his only existence is for destruction. shigaraki is fighting his world,fate that makes him feel like this in his mind, i think.

shigaraki isnt a monster created by All For One or his father or his family. he is a monster created by EVERYONE (today s society). like i said, most of them didnt mean it but it doesnt matter cause they all DID HURT tenko and make him feel abandoned. and shigaraki didnt choose to blame just one person for example hana or his mother or his father cause he loved them. thats why he hate everything that makes them like that. he hate everything that makes him feel like this.

i really love this character and i can relate the way of his thinking so much cause i would do the same thing. he really tried his best but he couldnt, HE HAD NO CHOICE. its a really kind way to hate everyone, actually cause just blaming one person would be unfair. i explained this cause a lot of people just blaming afo

(you can keep blaming afo cause this one meant it but unfortunately, it wasnt just him)

or they are just blaming his father (he didnt mean it) and ignoring the other people who did hurt him (they meant it or not) and also some people said “it doesnt make sense that he hates everyone” but it actually completely does cause everyone have responsible for this. (even they meant or not). thats why i explained it. hopefully, you got me :’))). sorry for bad eng.

[scientistkink]

Say It- Enjoltaire

Quick Notes: hey! this is my first fanfic on Tumblr! idk why thars relavent because it’s not the first one i’ve ever made but i felt like letting you know. so now you know. my ao3 is here. fair old, bad fanfic warning for that thing. oof.

Anyway, enough chatter, enjoy!!

——————

Say It- Enjoltaire

By: scientistkink

Summary:

Enjolras tries to get a confession out of Grantaire. Grantaire ends up getting one out of Enjolras without even trying.

based on a prompt from stereokink on tumblr!

“SAY IT!” he shouted from halfway down the block. “SAY IT!” Not angry, just… pleading.

I couldn’t.. I.. There was no way. He was right there, and I was right here, and I knew the exact words I would say.

“You’re right. You’re always right. I’m in love with you, Enjolras. I’m sorry,” I would say. “I knew it,” he would say. “I fucking knew it. You should've told me before, Grantaire,” he’d say. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Why would I have?”

“Because I’m your friend! Because… Well I guess I just wish you did.”

“Enjolras, you have never been in love with anything but your studies. I have been in love before. I’ve told him right away before. It… didn’t turn out. What would you have even said?” I’d sigh, still not able to look him in the eye. I’m not sure what he’d say next. I’m not sure he would say anything at all.

Enjolras was still yelling. Thank god it wasn’t too loud, but I still think some of the people in the dorms near us were waking up.

I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t bring myself to.

He was getting tired, I could tell. He stopped yelling. He took a deep breath, took a step towards me, sighed, and simply asked: “Grantaire, what are you so afraid of?”

Well, that was a loaded question.

“What am I afraid of? Well, loads of things. Mainly rejection. Humiliation. Every encounter we have from now on being awkward as hell. I’ll never be able to face you again, Enj, and all my friends are also your friends. That sounds stupid, but every time I’d see them, I’d think of you,” I sighed.

He was silent. I didn’t know what his expression was. I didn’t want to look at him. I couldn’t.

“Grantaire, I..” he started. “I think it’d be best if you didn’t talk. I can make it the rest of the way to my dorm on my own. Thanks,” I interrupted, walking swiftly past him towards my hall a couple blocks down. It was dark, sure, but I knew my way around.

“Grantaire wait.”

I don’t know why, but I paused. I didn’t say anything.

“Let me say one thing, please. You don’t have to talk to me after that if you don’t want to.”

I was still silent. I didn’t know if I wanted to hear what he had to say, but he took it as a yes.

“Look… I’m sorry for pressuring you into telling me. I just.. I’m gonna start with something else, actually.

“Grantaire, I’m sorry I’m always working on schoolwork. I just feel so pressured by my parents to be the best in school so I can have a good job when I’m older. As much as I complain about them, they still get in my head. Honestly? They scare me. I wish I didn’t prioritize schoolwork so much. I wish I could articulate my feelings better. I never really learned how. I think… I think that’s why I was so drawn to you. I know you don’t think so, but you’re really good at showing your emotions. Sometimes too good,” he laughed. “What I’m trying to say is that I like you, Grantaire. I do. And I have for a while. I honestly don’t know how long. And I get it if you still don’t want to talk to me. I shouldn’t have shouted. I shouldn’t have pressured you. Believe me, I know how it feels,” he tried to laugh again but it just came out as a sob. I turned around slowly.

He was crying. I never thought I would see the great Enjolras cry. But, here we were, in the cold, dark night, lit only with the streetlights and various dorm rooms still studying or doing god-knows-what late into the night.

I was frozen. I didn’t know what to do… How was I supposed to handle a crying Enjolras? I had him on such a pedestal and all in one swift motion, with just four words, he had knocked it down. “I like you, Grantaire.” He said that. Exactly that. I had never believed he would say those words. Oh, I’d dreamed of it, sure. But I never thought he’d say them for real. And I definitely didn’t think it’d be like this.

I don’t really remember much of what happened next. I kind of… went numb. I remember walking up to him, lightly touching his shoulder, then he fell into me. We hugged for a really long time. It seemed like forever. We both cried, I remember that. Then nothing until I woke up back in my dorm room, our limbs were tangled on my bed, Enjolras asleep. His eyes were still red. So were my cheeks. I fell asleep too.

I woke up the next morning groggy and sore. I opened my eyes to messy blonde hair and I was startled for a second before suddenly remembered. It started slowly at first, remembering the walk, the conversation leading up to it, then all at once I remembered the shouting. The feeling in my gut that made it feel like I’d just lost everyone I loved. I remembered walking away. I remembered Enjolras’s confession. The hug, the walk home, Enjolras falling asleep in my bed, smiling faintly despite having cried his eyes out just minutes earlier. I remembered….

I remembered I had an exam this morning.

Shit.

“Apollo,” I whispered, nudging Enjolras. He grunted and buried his face farther into the pillow. I smiled. “I never thought you’d be so grumpy, Apollo,” I said, a little louder. He laughed into the pillow. “I have a comp exam, love, will you let me leave?” I said. I really wasn’t planning on saying “love” but it came out of my mouth before I could stop it. He blushed but pulled his face out of the pillow. I smiled pleadingly. “Hmmm can’t you just skip it?” he mumbled, smiling. “You of all people should not be encouraging me to skip an exam,” I laughed. “It’s just one lousy exam,” he protested, but let me go anyway. I noticed we both just fell asleep in our clothes. I didn’t change. I did my hair, washed my face, and turned back to Enjolras. “So, what? Are you just going to stay in here all day? Snoop through my things? I must warn you, I am utterly uninteresting in whatever I have here,” I said, smirking at a very disheveled Enjolras, sprawled over the comforter on my bed. Thank god I got lucky and didn’t have to share the room with anyone. He laughed, “No, I actually have a couple classes later. Do you mind if I use your bathroom and stuff, though?” I don’t think it had fully set in that Enjolras was literally in my bed. We slept together. Well, not like that.. but you know. Technically. “Yeah,” I replied with minimal stuttering. “Of course that’s fine. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve been in here, Enj,” I said in one breath. I ran my hand through my hair and breathed out. I really had to get going. I kneeled at the front of my bed and looked at Enjolras’s face. God, he was gorgeous even with terribly messy hair and tired eyes. “I need to go now, ‘Pollo,” I smiled. “Grantaire-“ he started, and I don’t know what Gryffindor spirit possessed my Hufflepuff ass in that moment, but I leaned forward and kissed him. Softly, on the lips, but still pushing forward. I put my hand on the back of his neck. I think I surprised him, but he kissed me back and I could feel his smile. After a bit I pulled away and stood up, scratching the back of my neck nervously. “Bye, Enjolras. I’ll see you later.”

He was smiling so wide. That made me smile wide too. “Bye, ‘Taire.”

[bokunoimaginesacedamia]

Prompt: Can I've hcs for Bakugou, Shouto, Momo, Naomasa and Kirishima with a s/o with a chronic condition that shave years of their life expectancy? Think multiple sclerosis or heart transplants.

Requester: Chronic Anon

Notes: I ended up leaving out Naomasa as I don’t feel like I could write for him well. I’m sorry! I hope my representation is ok in these!

Bakugou:

○ When his s/o is first diagnosed his worry and fear come out as anger. He’s screaming at the doctor, almost needing to be physically restrained from grabbing them by the collar and shaking them. That’s not funny

○ For s/o’s sake, though, he’ll manage to calm down. He’s trying not to hold their hand too hard, but his grip is definitely hard, and he’s trying to hide the fact that his legs are shaking. He’s got too many feelings to contain them that easily

○ At first, he assures both s/o and himself that there’s no way they’re going to be taken out by some stupid disease. He’s trying to convince himself as much as he’s trying to comfort s/o. He’s terrified to lose them

○ If s/o even suggests that he leave them, or expresses fear that he will because of them being sick or their lowered life expectancy he’s probably going to snap at them more than intended. He doesn’t mean to be mean, but he’d never even consider that. He loves them and s/o being sick doesn’t change that. Period. He’s very final about this - there’s no room for argument

○ He does a lot of research privately and always asks the doctors lots of questions. He feels like it’s his job now more than ever to take care of s/o and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do his very best at it

○ He’s a bit more spontaneous after that. He knows s/ou may not have as much time as they both wished, and he knows that sometimes they’ll be too sick to do things - it might be a permanant too sick at some point. So he wants to experience, and make sure s/o experiences, everything they can before that

○ Lays awake at night sometimes long after s/o has fallen asleep, just staring at them. He’ll savor every moment he has with them even more than he normally would.

Todoroki:

○ His world stops when he finds out s/o’s diagnoses. He has so many feelings all at once that he doesn’t feel anything. He’s scared, mostly, but he hates himself for that because he should be the strong one right now

○ If s/o needs or accepts it he’ll pull them into his side, either just having an arm tight around them or pulling them into a full hug. He wants them to know that he’s there but he isn’t sure exactly what to do

○ He’s having a hard time processing everything and will ask the doctor to explain everything a few times. He wants to understand as much as possible. Still, it doesn’t really click right away

○ It’s not for a few days until it does click. He has a bit of a breakdown. His s/o is everything to him and he can’t believe that this is happening to them. He feels for a while like the world is trying to take everything from him, and curses it for hurting someone so precious

○ Once he’s in a better state of mind he lets s/o know that e phe’s there for anything they need. Literally anything. He’s there to hold them in the middle of the night if they have a sudden panic over what’s happening, to help them experience everything they want while they have the health for it, to hold their hand during checkps - anything

○ Thar doesn’t change as s/o’s condition deteriorates. He’s there to help them with the physical elements as best he can, carrying them if they can’t walk, always keeping spare pain medication on hand, helping them to remember to take their prescriptions. He’s there for the mental ones too, as best he can be, whether that’s depression, or something specific to their illness like confusion or trouble speaking properly. He’s always patient, as best he can be

○ Savors the good times and days as best he can. He lets himself forget about the pain when he can and he hopes that this encourages his s/o to be the same

Yaoyorozu:

○ She’s a bit teary when she finds out. She tries not to show it and wants to be strong for her s/o as much as possible, but the information hits her pretty quickly and she doesn’t know how to deal with it

○ Outright quizzes the doctor. She wants to understand everything about this disease, all of the possibilities and everything she can do to help. She does a lot of research on her own and posts in forums so she can hear the experiences of others as well

○ Can get a bit overwhelming at first. She just wants to be supportive and helpful but she likely ends up smothering s/o at first. They’ll need to sit her down and explain to her what they can and can’t do, what they do and do not need help with to start with and so on. She’s very respectful once boundaries are set though and feels really bad for overdoing it

○ This does make things a bit harder when s/o has to give up doing things for themselves that they want to be able to do, or don’t want help with but just can’t. Momo is very sweet, gentle and comforting during these times though. She’s extremely patient but isn’t going to let s/o hurt themselves when push comes to shove

○ Gets a bit more vocal about her feelings. She can be a little shy about telling her partner just how much she loves them, but she wants them to understand it thoroughly. She doesn’t want either of them to have any regrets.

○ Her quirk comes in handy if s/o has something that causes them a fair bit of pain or discomfort. Need another pillow to elevate something, more blankets to keep them warm, or literally any physical object? She’s got them covered as fast as she can.

○ Momo does her best to be strong for s/o as much as she can. Though in middle stages when s/o can handle it she gets a bit better and they deal with it together, in the beginning and closer to the end she tends to cry when she’s alone at night to get her feelings out.

Kirishima:

○ He holds s/o’s hand as tightly as he can while they hear the diagnosis. He’s scared but as a man he feels that comforting his s/o is his duty - and they’re his top priority.

○ He’ll hold his s/o, cry with them and just be there for as long as they need to process everything. It’s at this point that he decides, and assures s/o, that they’re going to get through all of this together - ups and downs, come what may

○ Mostly relies on what the doctors offer and what s/o tells him in order to deal with things. He lets them tell him what they want and need, and trusts them to be open and honest with him about it. He needs them to know that when he says he’s there he means it

○ Takes things one day at a time and encourages s/o to do the same. Someday s/o will be much more obviously sick, wont be able to do what they can now and someday he’ll have to live without them. The last one is too painful to think about for him. So instead he deals with things as they come and leaves other stresses to the future

○ Even so he often gets sentimental at night and worries too much about what’s going to happen and where this is all going to lead. When this happens and he can’t deal with the pain and stress of it he’ll drag s/o out of bed and encourage them to go for a late night/early morning snack run or drive with him

○ Tries to get another day off of work every week in order to spend more time with s/o. As much as he’d like to he knows he can’t spend every minute with them, but if he can just get a little more time he convinces himself he’ll be  happy with that

○ He relies a lot on his s/o and his friends to keep his emotions in check. He doesn’t want to bottle things up if he doesn’t have to and wants all the happiness he shows and feels with s/o to be completely unhindered - as much as it can be, at least.

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode 1: “Why is my tribe all these musty men and Ruthie?” -Ali

-I'm writing this pre-cast reveal and I'm scared shitless. Dear future Jess, Don't puke before tribals because of anxiety. Don't let the m*n tell you what to do. Don't get in your head and trust your gut. Sincerely, Pre-Cast Reveal Jess.

- Now where do I begin.... It's day 2? I believe.... in this game and I've already spiralled and showed the signs of a future crackhead. In all seriousness though, I've calmed down and the initial shock of cast reveal has worn off. I was a bit shook seeing some of the people in this cast playing. I've literally hosted a large chunk of these people so I REALLY HOPE NONE OF THAT COMES TO BITE ME IN THE ASS (I don't think it will). I hope people realize I wasn't really paying close attention to their games when hosting.. and if I was... I have the memory of a pebble. I'm sure none of that will have an impact on anyone besides maybe Ali. BUT ALI IF YOU ARE READING THIS.. DAY 2 JESS REALLY WANTS TO WORK WITH YOU! Now lets talk about my tribe: - We got Rachael/Zach who are super close or at least have some sort of connection through his sister. - We got Birch/Keegan regardless of whatever they are pushing about doubts with each other I can see them cleaning that slat in the name of numbers. - Me and Gavin because I'm the only one he knows in this game. - Possibly me/Timmy if he wants to work with me. - Possibly me/Chips hoping he remembers I did show how blindly loyal I was to him the last game we were in.... - Bodhi might be in with people like Zach (who he was hosting) and Rachael. - John honestly... I have no idea about. He's such a wild card for me. My overall thought process and game plan right now is... BLUID THOSE RELATIONSHIPS! I think I proved with my challenge performance I am an asset to this tribe but I want to show people I can be an asset to them. I can see us swapping at 16 so I'm going to be around this tribe for a bit so I need people to want me around. So far I'm getting along with Keegan he seems like a cool cat. I'm also aware he's probably a cool cat in everyone's eyes but for right now.. I really like him! Birch is definitely a social beast. From what I remembered they were an extremely social player in the season I hosted them but they are very transparent with their information which does scare me. For the time being though, I'll attempt to work my magic with them and build that trust so the information spills to me.. Rachael is a queen. I really want to work with her because I do see similarities between our playing style which is something I always gravitate towards in games. I'm naive and I do know she has other people higher up on that trust-ladder based off of initial relationships but I do hope to somehow climb that. Although I do know she will be a power play in this game, I know I'm going to need other power players around me to ensure there is a target ahead of me. She also brings connections which typically brings in information. So rather than be a crackhead and go for her (which is what cast reveal night Jess thought about) I'm going to try and work with her. Zach.. honestly, I don't know how much I have in common with a teenage boy so that might be a road block between us. He is one of those key-relationships I hope to build off of through Rachael. I will also die if Rachael/Zach aren't that close and I'm just rambling shit right now. Gavin is one of my FIRST ORG friends and I'm SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM PLAYING THIS GAME. I don't think anyone right now knows we are close but I'm not afraid to cut him if it means I go further in this game. I'm not really sure about my tribes chances for this first immunity challenge. Everyone aside for a few people on this tribe seem like they have their shit together in this challenge. I know the "movie trivia" crew snapped hard and my back hurts from carrying my tribe but.... our chances of winning rely on Timmy (who is on vacation), Gavin who is probably working or something, and Bodhi who is hosting currently. So to say I'm confident.... would be a giant ass lie. I'm excited for the idol search to open up SO BAD.

-Cast is revealed and game starts in a half hour. I’m feeling excited. I hope I do better in this season than the game I did last, 17th. Ughhhhhh, grosss

- I’m having fun doing the quotes, it’s interesting. I feel like I’m getting along well with everyone. I’m trying to talk to them all and interact. If I’m amusing they won’t get rid of me. Right? Right? Somebody tell me I’m right

-Okay tea time!  I'm really excited. I had to add A LOT of people I have never talked to before and I always like doing that because I LOOOOVE playing with people that don't know how I play and also getting to know clean people and starting with a clean slate! The only people I had added on my tribe are Jay and Ali and I LIKE that!   I'm excited to talk to people, scope everyone out a little and see what I need to do.  This game and the theming is SO CUTE and I can't wait to see what all happens next!

- https://youtu.be/MY-s5k1n7sI

why is my tribe all these musty men and ruthie what did i do to deserve this.

https://youtu.be/LPxSC_ZjZIc

https://youtu.be/ojw9T8GsbaA

-That 36 person cast twist not being real...big disappointment, I was hoping for a huge mess where someone cries. But 20 people, good size. My tribe seems like good people so this should be exciting.

- So we lost the first immunity challenge. Seems like it’s unanimous for John to go. Works for me as he is who I wanted out when I woke up this morning since we hadn’t spoken. He keeps saying he wants someone who was weak in the challenge out and didn’t tell me a name but told Rachel, Bodhi. Funny thing is, John did worse in his challenge than anyone in the quotes group so therefore his own logic can be used against him.

-AHHHHHHHHHHH MY PEOPLE ARE HERE I DON"T KNOW WHO I WANNA WORK WITH. There is king ali, my bae Austin, bestie jay, and really old time friend Collin in this one tribe. I'm not even counting people on the other tribe. I'm gonna lose so hard. I'm crying tho

-When I was meeting my tribe for the first time I was thinking that we have a very good group here. I'm glad to see Bodhi again cuz I haven't seen him since Trinity: P&P a few months ago. I think that with the additions of Birch and Keegan to our tribe I think we're gonna win some challenges. So I'm hoping for the best and not the worst for this team.

- So we're all waiting for the results of the 1st challenge, and I'm feeling a little nervous that my tribe may lose, but I'm hoping that we do win because I want this season to start off on a good note for my tribe. I'm just hoping that we pull this off and not blow this.

-the way i was offered a final 2 within minutes of joining the tribe chat. hopefully this ages well and you get to see me and bodhi succeed :)

- John is too damn messy and has got to go. PERIODT.

https://youtu.be/L1-ZBhnUQ7U

-I love my Tribe!! I'm super excited to play with Keegan and Timmy again! I'm trying to get closer with everyone else since I haven't played with them before. I'm also kinda nervous for the challenge. I have a weird taste in music so we will see how this goes. I really hope I'm not first boot. I haven't had good placements in my last couple of games, so I'm hoping for better this time! This cast is iconic.

-So my mom got my drunk before the challenge and then tried guilting me into not doing the challenge. we flopped anyway. we are currently pulling ahead in the Movie challenge but it's still early so idk. I really hope we can get the next 2 challenges. I don't wanna be first boot.  

- Ahoy matey! me got cursed t' only talk like a pirate in thar tribe chats n' me alliance chat. So me’m doing dis confession like a pirate. So anyway. me’m in a alliance Wit' Keegan n' Jess. As far as me know our jolly crew only verily talked t' each other. So dis works out. Our jolly crew also lost which SUCKS. me verily hope me’m nay first boot. me might sail after John. All me conversations wit' him be painful. So that’s fun. me like all hands so dis will hard. But let’s see what happens! Birch signing off.

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1Iq3ANGs8M&feature=youtu.be

- Here’s the Tea Link: https://youtu.be/X3J2e4ffmiY

- https://youtu.be/Q80k6g4QUIk

Kinda bummed the movie challenge didn’t go so well hope we don’t have to go to tribal this early

-Hello hello! I am SO happy to be back in atomic Survivor! I feel like things are off to a really nice start and I'm hoping that will continue. For now I'll do a little assessment of my tribe before we find out results for the first challenge. Ali - I've seen him around in the community a lot for years, im pretty sure I was around when he played his first game. But I don't remember if I've ever had the chance to actually play WITH him. He's such a nice guy I've loved talking with him so far Austin - Lmao the funny thing is I actually talked to him for the first time ever like a week ago. A real lucky break that he and I were both part of this casting twist. We immediately started talking and agreed to look out for each other. Cindi - this is my first time meeting her ever! She seems really rad and we've just been talking about life and tattoos and shit lmao. I can definitely see myself working with her in the future. Collin - y'all I LOVE Collin. I just played with him in Mesopotamia, and even though he voted me out I never had any bitterness towards him cause he's just that nice. He's definitely been the person I've talked to the most so far. We have a lot in common and I really want to trust him. But I am still a bit wary bc of Mesopotamia. Czern - I don't really have a read on him yet. Haven't spoken to him too much. Dan - Same as Czern but I haven't spoken to Dan at all Vi - Vi is such a ray of sunshine, I've loved her ever since I met her in Tashirojima. In fact my biggest mistake in that game IMO was voting her out. I'm 100% working with her this time. Ruthie - It's been so long since I've talked to Ruthie and I'm so glad that this game gives me the chance to reconnect with her. An absolute legend and one of the nicest people I've ever met. I haven't talked strategy with her yet but that'll come soon lol Timmy - Yo he DESTROYED that music challenge and I'm super grateful for that. I've talked to him a little bit and he's pretty nice but I don't really have any further opinions on him lol

- Reallllly glad we didn't have to go to tribal tonight. I've been really busy today so it would've been a really rough time. But instead I got to enjoy my day, but of course I socialized with my tribe. I feel really close with Collin, Ali, and Ruthie. Granted those are relationships that started outside of this game, but they're relationships nonetheless. I really vibe with Austin too, even though I talk to him a little less, we're bonded through that opening twist. And the best thing is Austin mentioned vibing with all those people + Vi (who's great as well, I just haven't talked any strategy with her yet) so I smell an alliance starting sometime soon. I just feel really well about the start of this game and im hoping it can last.

-First confessional of the season! I debated making a video but then I realized that's a lore more work and harder for me to have actual organized thoughts. Going back to the start of the game: I know RACHAEL, BIRCH, CHIPS, JAY, VI, CINDI, DAN and RUTHIE. The only person I don't know anything about is CZERN. So I've got a pretty stacked cast of people I can potentially work with moving forward. But I currently have three goals for this season: 1. Make the merge or swap so I can play with VI. Even if we don't work together, I'd love to play with her! She rules! 2. Make sure JAY gets voted out before myself. As a fellow winner, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. 3. Make sure DAN gets voted out before myself. He's a sneaky snake and I won't ever trust him after Nova Scotia. First off, I'm in an awesome alliance with BIRCH and JESS. It's only three people so it's not a clear majority but it's a good start. We formed this literally 10 minutes after the challenge had ended. Speaking of the challenge, it was a fun challenge but we did lose. However, JESS, RACHAEL, CHIPS and myself were the only ones who won our portion of the challenge, so I've been subtly hinting that I wouldn't feel right if any of us were voted out. GAVIN told me that TIMMY and BODHI didn't contribute much of anything to their part of the challenge, so that's a possible decision when it comes to this tribal. However, JOHN has been very difficult to have a conversation with and I've been told that him and BODHI won't vote for each other. So right now it's just working with JESS and BIRCH to determine what the best option is moving forward. I'm thinking I can get RACHAEL, ZACH and GAVIN on board with whatever we decide. Tune in later for some more thoughts.

-I wanna say it’s be super eventful but not really. Just a few small things: CHIPS has been telling everyone everything. He told JOHN he was the vote. He told JESS about the GAVIN thing. He needs to learn to keep things to himself if he doesn’t want to be gone next. JOHN tried throwing ZACH under the bus for not being good in challenges. I had a call with BODHI and apparently ZACH is a comp beast. So that’s not happening. If everything is as planned JOHN should be the unanimous vote. I might throw a stray vote on CHIPS just in case of an idol play but I’m undecided.

So this round I got super close with Austin and Collin, and close with cindi, and okay close with everyone else. I killed it in the music challenge because I  did not feel confident I wouldn’t go home if we lost. I need to tighten my bonds and hopefully make a solid group before the next round. I have no real targets atm but Ruthie and I have yet to speak so that’s awkward. I kinda wish I was on the other tribe because I feel like I’d vibe with them better. I had to make sure I was the first to go into the treehouse because I wanted to be open and transparent about what happens in there and make sure that nobody else got to go in and change what actually happens. I’m very excited for the next few rounds tho!

https://youtu.be/e_oVLgNr4ro

Okay so first round is going pretty good so far . I cant believe they put me on a tribe with vi which is amazing bc ride or die right there. I know ali vi collins and jay are def ppl I wanna work with in this game . I mean my whole tribe is great . Dan I know is a wild card and he seems like he wants to work together but I'm not sure if I can fully trust him since he did vote me out last seasons with telling me a damn thing . Cindi was almost in my duplicity season I'm on production for so I know her a bit as well. I know she would probs go with Rachael at a swap or merge which is dangerous .THANK GOD we won the first immunity and I dont have two sorry about a vote bc if I'm honest it would be HARD to decide on a name . Let's see what happens tho I'm ready to play and ready to win

Honestly it seems pretty slow starting. Just working on getting to know the tribe at this point. I really like Collin and Ali but beyond that I'm not getting like amazing vibes from the others. I'm not getting bad vibes either though, just neutral positive vibes if that makes sense

okay, so i have been focusing on getting to know my tribe-mates the past few days because in this game, connections are your lifeline. but, i also didn't want to come off too strong and be perceived as "too social" from the get-go *cough* keegan the snake *cough*. so, i laid back, talked to people (some more than others), and tried to focus on winning immunity. unfortunately, when immunity slipped through our fingers, i quickly got to work socializing and making sure i wasn't the one to be blamed for our loss in our challenge. i felt that i contributed a lot and tried to start discussions and debate about our quotes, and felt as though i didn't get much back from my team. so, i made sure that people knew my group wasn't very communicative and had they communicated more, we could have totally won. i didn't push for a name to begin the round, but i did make sure to let people know who i hadn't talked to in hopes of getting one of their names on the chopping block this round. i made sure to reach out to everyone (even those who didn't reach out to me or seem invested in the game, nor our conversations) because i don't want someone to spread my name as a result. then, it seemed to narrow down to john and timmy. also, it was obviously leaning towards john leaving this round. however, it was not until about a few hours before day change that john had FINALLY heard that his name was going around due to the fact that it was TRULY IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO HIM. funnily enough, this information came directly from chips--someone who i haven't talked to much. thankfully for me, john decided to tell almost everyone exactly what chips had said and no one was pleased to hear that. so, i worked my magic and made sure people were upset that chips tried to throw us all under the bus--because i need to make sure there is a target for next round that isn't me... DUH! later, i asked john what he wanted to do, and he sat there completely clueless. i was completely dumbfounded at his reluctance to say a name when his ass was CLEARLY on the line. eventually, i worked a name out of him, and he said bodhi (who was the only one who wanted to keep him earlier today)... so i obviously went right to bodhi and made sure he knew so i could build some trust with him going forward in this game since talking to john literally made me lose brain cells by the minute, i wanted to make sure he was the one leaving tonight. so, i am hoping everything goes according to plan at tribal tonight, but as long as i don't leave, i am golden with whatever. until next time... xoxo, gossip girl

So basically I'm not in town right now... and IbhopenI can trust people not to vote me until I get back and am less busy. I really bombed the challenge by getting 0 points for my tribe but we won that part... because the other people carried. Good stuff. Anyway we are voting John because he doesn't communicate well and has kind of mansplained the potential different vote? If its true then woohoo I got another round. Also! I got am advantage from idol hunt and thats nifty. 

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Click HERE to watch both out PREGAME and ROUND ONE cast assessments!

[firebirdsdaughter]

Oh, yeah!...

... How could I forget!

I’ve got my tea... (well, not that tea, not yet)... Time to rewatch the Zi-O 22 raw for rambles!

In no order:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don’t care, Kuro Woz.

In other news, Shiro Woz was actually weirdly tolerable this episode. I fully expect him to go back to being a manipulative bastard next week, though.

Oh god, I guess I have to get used to the guy, since we’re apparently keeping him. I still say bring back Woz.5. I loved him.

Even the suit actor is doing the head tilt.

I am now significantly more concerned about that shot in the opening of Sougo walking away from the other two...

When is Trinity coming out, again? The boys will have to be getting along by then...

Now, see, they’re alone, so Geiz is like ‘okay, I can admit to having feelings again.’

Well, I guess that question got answered by the end of the episode.

I think Junichiro wanted Sougo to deliver something, but Sougo got stuck in the mirror world (also some angel put the thing about Geiz freaking out when Sougo got pulled into the window on the TV Tropes Heartwarming page for Zi-O and I thank them so very, very much), so now he’s trying to get Geiz and Tsukuyomi to do it.

Geiz was gonna straight up henshin right in front of Junichiro if an enemy came out of the mirror, oh my god. XD

EVERYONE’S EXPRESSIONS IN THIS SCENE.

I just love how Geiz goes from ‘ready to fight it’ to ‘WTF?’ to ‘Oh yeah, he’s here’ to pretty much just checking out of the whole situation over the course of a minute or so.

Seriously, Gaku’s expressions in this scene were golden. Shirei’s, too.

I think that’s her name. I’m slowly learning their names but names are hard.

Geiz is like ‘you’re an idiot, fine, I’ll explain.’ I guess the reason is that their Rider Kicks have slightly different effects. I didn’t even think of that. Interesting.

Tsukuyomi is so frustrated by Geiz’s lack of self preservation and that is very valid of her.

Hm... Okay, so having given it some thought, I think part of Sougo’s muted reactions are that he’s one of those people who projects a cheery exterior all the time and bottles stuff up. So, like, when his ‘negative’ (so to speak--like sadness, pain, anger, all that stuff) emotions show even a little bit, it’s like the tip of the iceberg. Which isn’t healthy, but it’s a possible explanation. I still wish they had made him react even a little more at the end, but that’s just my opinion.

Geiz just freaking teleported to the door there.

Geiz feels bad bc he actually considered going through with Shiro Woz’s idea. And he probably feels bad about feeling bad about that, bc he’s a soldier, and soldiers are supposed to complete their mission no matter the cost.

I guess she’s looking at Sougo, but it feels like she’s looking right at me, and even though she’s pretty and I love her, that sort of thing always makes me uncomfortable. I can’t look real people in the eye, stop trying to make me look tv characters in the eye!

Aw! There’s something twistedly heartwarming about Mirror¡Sougo tormenting Sougo about his relationship w/ Geiz. Good drama.

Also, I remain alone on the casual SouGeiz raft and it is still funny. XD

Sou Okuno remains much too cute for me to be frightened of him in any capacity.

I really wanna know what that line said. Something about Geiz and Puma Zi-O, but I don’t know.

Well, Sougo just died. (by which I mean, he fell over)

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Shiro Woz being suspiciously tolerable. I’m sure he’ll be back to his usual manipulative jackass self next ep.

Aw! Tsukuyomi is breaking out the Hawk Droid now!

I keep getting this incredibly in depth Chinese State Farm ad and it’s hilarious.

Shiro Woz is dead now, too.

Honestly, he’s on the right track.

Yes, he is technically Kamen Rider Ryuki. By which we mean, he was Kamen Rider Ryuki, but then time got totally rewritten so that he wasn’t. Twice!

Not that I think he enjoyed it that much the first time... At leats he met Ron, though. Man, this is making me want to go back and watch Ryuki proper.

Lessons for the Mirror World: Don’t talk to your Mirror Self, it’s a bad idea. Also something about accepting yourself.

He looks different w/ short hair and older, but every now and then, he turns his head or makes a particular face, and it’s like ‘yeah, that’s him, that’s the boy.’

Shiro Woz died again.

I’m just gonna start assuming that Rider and Sentai weapons magically go back to their pocket dimension as soon s they’re thrown offscreen (thinks of all those times in Ex-Aid where you could literally hear them hitting the ground somewhere).

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

And thar he go. Goddamnit, Geiz.

Kudos to Okuno for pulling off as truly adorable and hilarious confused Mirror¡Sougo face for this whole scene. He’s just like ‘wth, dude?’

See, this is part of why I think Sougo’s the ‘hide all my ‘negative’ emotions’ kinda person. Bc he’s like ‘I’m really scared’ but he’s never shown it. Which isn’t healthy, sweetie, please talk to someone. Who... Isn’t your Mirror World self.

If they do do ‘balance of light and dark’ thing for Zi-O, I really hope they do a thing about Geiz and Tsukuyomi being his sort of ‘main anchors’ for the ‘light’ part. If that makes any sense.

Me when someone falls over in Toku ‘Whelp, he’s dead.’ Me when someone actually dies in Toku ‘Nah, he’s fine.’

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Man, though, I hope they don’t remember the entirety of the time reset. Bc he’d have to remember dying, and she’d have to remember him dying in her arms. And they’re EIGHTEEN.

Shiro Woz.exe has stopped working.

Also, in that overhead shot, you can totally see Another Ryuga standing next to the tree before he respawns. XD ^^

Or maybe that’s a crew member. Either way. ^^ XD

Still wish they coulda given him more of a reaction, but I can justify it. He prefers to keep things in, and he probably guessed what the situation would be when he got there and was mentally preparing the whole way. Still wish we coulda had a small ‘mentally prepared but not quite ready for the real thing’ moment. I guess he does seem a little perturbed, but... Nrgh.

Spent several minutes rewatching this part, partially for angst lover reasons, and partially bc I was trying to see if I could see Gaku still breathing even though he’s playing dead. I actually didn’t notice any moments, but maybe someone else did.

God, I hope he didn’t hold his breath that whole time. Though who knows. Maybe he has the breath holding skills of an olympic swimmer.

I accidentally paused on a shot of Kuro Woz while Shiro Woz was flying into the scene to grab him and it looked kinda hilarious.

Keisuke be like ‘Hello, my suit actor!’ ^^ Poor boy over here talking to himself.

So what is going to happen w/ these two? Will the Wozes fuse? Will there be a third, true Woz? Will he not be a manipulative jerk-face? The questions are numerous.

Also, what’s the history between him and Geiz? I care more about it bc of Geiz than bc of Woz.

But also... Woz Fight!

CUTE. Makes one remember all the hijinks that went on at the office.

See? That’s Sougo reacting to something. :/

Now the other two are worried though, bc that’s a Puma Zi-O power. God, please, please don’t break up the Zi-Ot3. I’m putting my faith in you, dude who wrote Ninninger! I mean, you gave us Kinji and the Igasakis! (crap, that was the family name, right?) Admittedly, slightly lower stakes, but I’m counting on yooooooooouuuuuuu! *continues howling off into the distance for no reason*

But Geiz is straight up like ‘it’s my fault,’ the poor baby. Like. He’s not even blaming Sougo. He seems to be saying that he caused Sougo to make that choice. Bc the online translator says something like ‘led him’ to that ‘path’? Then gain, the online image translator also like to periodically translates things as ‘it’s all about sex’ and for the life of it cannot decide on what ‘Ouma Zi-O’ translate as. My favourite remains ‘the ostrich.’

Tsukuyomi apparently makes a note that one isn’t supposed to ‘play with time or someone’s life’ and now I’m like... About... Two or three of Sougou’s ‘steps’ towards becoming Puma Zi-O were bc he was trying to save Geiz? What if... What if the reason he became Puma Zi-O was that breaking the ‘rules’ of time does mess w/ your head and he kept using to to try and save Geiz from himself, or something... Like, wasn’t there some other time travel thing about the universe really trying to kill someone and someone else trying to prevent it? Like, coming back to my ‘die to prevent Puma Zi-O’ thing. If it’s something like that... Like, what if it seems like in the end that most sure way to prevent Puma Zi-O w/out killing Sougo is just letting Geiz die? I mean. He’d accept it in a heartbeat, I’m pretty sure, but if it does come to that, I’d prefer they found a third miracle option.

Of course, she could actually be saying something else entirely and I just went off on an aimless tangent.

But Geiz’s face during this talk... Like, I definitely think he's upset bc at this point he doesn’t want to kill Sougo at all anymore, and he also now feels like he’s responsible for destroying the future on one hand and starting the process that turned adorable little Sougo into Puma Zi-O on the other. My poor baby.

Also Tsukuyomi is talking directly at me again, and it is still making me uncomfortable!

And now they both stand there and look kinda sad.

Where the hell are they, anyway? Why’d they come back out here?

Shut up Kuro Woz, I don’t care.

Also, hi Kikai! ^^

And now for a completely clashing goofy promo!

I am still nervous, and the tea and shirts are ready to go, but one of the preview images looked like the boys having a normal conversation, so I’m still hedging my bets. Do right by me, Ninninger man! Not that I have anything to offer if you don’t, but, you know....

Okay, maybe I’ll buy something.

That’s all folks! Virtual lemon meringue pie for anyone who read all that nonsense. Or whatever type of pie you like. If you don’t like pie, cookies or cake or anything is fine.

Still hoping for good friendship drama. Love the Zi-Ot3, suspicious of how tolerable Shiro Woz was this ep. Suppose I’ll have to get used to him, since we're apparently keeping him. Now instilled w/ a desire to rewatch Ryuki.

Tea and shirts remain on standby.

[in-carnage-i-bloom]

One year a Jhin blog changed my life ( the story)

One year today I made this blog. I didn’t think it would go anywhere. I was wrong.

I’ll be honest. I was about to give up on the role play community here. After seeing how ugly drama can get on the basis of a he said she said mentality and falsified fact checking I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay here. The absolute anger some feel when lore changes and art updates alone was horribly sour to see. It put me in an uneasy place. I wasn’t in the best of relationship on a personal level and came here to escape from the abuse that it was. But what was it worth when all you see is people man hunt another person for having a differing opinion?

Either way it was a hive mind here and it was not helping me escape the situation with my ex. That was until Jhin was announced. I was infatuated with the video, art, idea and voice of him. Now I may be biased because I’m a metal gear fan and although I think Raiden is a whinny bitch (looking at you mgs 4) I love his voice. After all, I annoyed my friends when they announced project yasuo at its release. I felt the compulsion to maybe try Jhin as a blog. What harm was it going to do? I was leaving any way right? I would just go unnoticed and leave in a month any way.

Man was I wrong. The first two and thee weeks where mostly shit posting and the blood moon au with @code-thief I did have that fling with Vayne and even Zoey. At that time I was still building the Jhin I play now. I played with the idea that he wasn’t sexually gratified unless he was shooting someone (yes hello unwrite a bunch of smut for fun).And Tobias wasn’t particularly able to be killed. This was purely perfect for Jhin in my head. This was the idea I had. But the more I played with him the more I lost this idea.

Then @dunk-me-darius came into play. Now I followed Darius back with my other league blog and sat quietly watching for a year prior. I’m a scared person to approach blogs of any sort of status let alone one thar draws. Even with the past drama fresh at the time I still didn’t stop watching. The drama wasn’t mine to judge and honestly I know what was publicly known had much more to it then what we knew (iceberg effect).

Darius posted a thing asking for people to say happy birthday to another Jhin blog. I bit the bullet and sent a off anon message to this Jhin and wished them a happy birthday. After all kindness gets you out of bronze. This small gesture changed my life. Although this other Jhin and I have bad blood now, I want to thank them for helping me out of an even more toxic and abusive relationship then any of the drama I have been in and seen here on Tumblr. My animals and my sanity really benefited from it.

Now that Darius and I where talking. We started the roleplay of Jhin and Darius. This started gaining us both attention. Where as attention comes here, jealousy arises. This started gaining me some hate. Not the hate I had with my morgana blog. Oh no a whole different type of hate. Hate that would get you banned from league and the dictionary definition of #triggered hate. At first it was amusing. The unrelenting hatred people had for the ship and Darius was overwhelming all on the basis of past things that have been dealt with and buried.

Well I stuck through it even if it got bad. We moved to Skype since Tumblr freaked out every time we conversed. My inbox wasn’t a joyous +1 (in my case +12). We continued the ship, started calling one another bae for the muses. This was the escape I needed. It helped me feel happiness again. Darius was also happy (I hope) and we really made a good friendship out of it. We inspired one another. We kept making eachother laugh. Although I suck at league, Darius still played with me. Taught me some valuable things in top lane and helped me not be soo passive(although I still am because I fear letting the team down). It was great.

April is darius bithday. So I asked if it was okay to send a preset box to celebrate. Darius was more then happy and agreed. I was excited and baked some of my favorite cookies then sent them with other things. Darius received the package and enjoyed it. This was pleasing for me as I love bringing joy to others. It really helped me smile.

After months of talking and shit posting with one another, Darius and I started more then just a relationship with our muses. It was growing into a strong friendship. One where we could rely on the other for honest advice in life. That’s when Darius and I stared really referring to one another as bae on a personal level. Bae helped me with my relationship and helped me realize that my happiness was under a bandaid that I had to rip off. I was scared and bae let me take my time to do this. This was also the time we started talking about being single ship. I had already had enemies making people not talk to me so it was a good for me anyway. I already had the reputation of worse Jhin blog on tumblr so no matter what I did would result in hate.

It’s about August at this time and my mother was moving to Connecticut leaving me her house in Arizona. This was hard to do as I was mulling over the idea of a break up with my 7 year relationship and the reality of my mother ( who I’m very close with) moving 3000 miles away. This is when I asked Darius if it was okay to meet up. We agreed and started making plans.

The trip came up soon and I was getting quite excited to finally meet my bae. At this time I wasn’t too active on Tumblr because of the stress of packing my house, legal stuff with my mother and a hostile environment at home. Bae was my escape and we Skype chat often which helped me relive stress. I often would write fan fiction for bae as I was up when Darius was asleep. This fan fiction often sparked inspiration for bae and that made me happy. Bae made me feel special and appreciated which I wasn’t used to as personal life was getting heavy.

Then came the trip to Connecticut. It was long and even broke down outside of Springfield. But I talked with bae the whole time. Excited to see each other in a few days to come. At this time it was looking really good to be single ship. Then that day came. It was a cold rainy September day. Ugly in comparison to my typical Arizona sunny days. Bae was at that corner waiting for me. And what was the first thing bae said?

“ holy shit your hair IS long”

Yup that was the first thing I heard with my own ears in person.

But that didn’t matter. I finally got to hold and hug my bae. We laughed and I was silent for the first two hours. But the more we talked the more I started to realize that bae was real and perfect. We went on a date and it was more then perfect. This was also the solid go that I needed to take that bandaid off and end what hell I was living in at home. I wanted Darius in my life more and had to make the leap to bring this true.

A month later after realizing we had proper feelings for one another, we went full on single ship. This was also when I started the break up with my ex. Rip that bandaid off right? Well that bandaid gets ripped off but always ends back on making things even more complicated. Just can’t seem to understand it’s over I guess but bae has been the rock in my life. Keeping me from crumbling under the pressure although all I want to do is hide under my blanket and hope it goes away.

Bae then asked me formally to be in a relationship. Not just our muses but us as muns. I smiled and giggled to myself like a pathetic school girl and said yes. Since then in October bae and I have been dating officially. I never thought I would have ended up with a blog I admired soo much let alone dating and now LIVING with the Mun. It’s an experience I’m excited to move forward with. Even if I’m one of the worse Jhin blogs out there, I wouldn’t change a thing and do it again. Enemies and all. It was worth it and I’m now truely happy with my bae. My love and rock. Here’s to another year of shit posting and bad roleplaying.

[lolsmurfaccounts]

Most Bizarre League of Legends Puns of 2018

When it comes to coming up with jokes and puns, League of Legends players cannot be outclassed by anyone. There are lots of different types of puns out there especially, so we have gone through the internet with a fine-toothed comb to find the most bizarre, the funniest and the best. These are definitely not the only puns out there for LOL. There are enough of them that you could fill up an entire series of encyclopedias and still need more room.

But these are definitely some of the best ones out there. We’ve also divided them up into eight different categories so that you can choose the ones that you like the best. Some of these are great, some of them are so bad they’re good, but they are all worth reading. Let’s get started.

When Forum Users Are Asked for League of Legends Puns

The first category that we’ve chosen is simply the one showcasing the responses that come when League of Legends players are asked to come up with puns. There are quite a few that have been bandied around the internet for a long time, but what is surprising is that many users are able to come up with some of the funniest puns out there right on the fly.

Part of that is being inspired by the post above you, but some of them are so truly original that all you can do is upvote the post and laugh to yourself. Here is exactly what happens when LOL players are asked to post their best puns in a forum.

I could tell you a zilean of them but I could not be bothered

I’m sure Ziggs would have a blast making some dynamite puns on this thread. Surprised this thread hasn’t exploded with more replies!

Jarvan puns would be Exemplar-y.

Urgot to be kidding me, these jokes are Tibbersable. Half of them are Ireliavent.

C’MON post more!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t want to have posted this thread in vayne.

I don’t Evelyn know what to post…

Dat Ashe

Need to post it in my new twitcher account

My brain Ziggs and Zaggs trying to think of more. I’ve come to think that coming up with a good one is just Lux. Post more pl0x!

Well i think im pretty VIKTORious when thinking up lol puns

Fizz decided to take mid-lane for the halibut.

Yall can follow this horrible thread to your graves

Knock knock. Udyr?

Volibear: Hmm… You might be expecting some un-bear-able pun. I’m going to tear the enemy apart with my bear hands!

Karma is a *****.

Wow let me Ashe you guys a question; what kind of twist of fate put us all here ? Is there Annie answer for that question?

Go Diana fire.

If I post in this thread while in my car, does it could as texting while Draven?

Oh, god why Zyra want to communicate with me using a thornmail im gonna leaf her alone

Kayle yourself.Go Diana hole.This thread isnt really Nasus ary.

We Kennen this right now.

I managed to get away with it though, so at least my efforts weren’t in Vayne.

Alright, this is getting Downright Darius, so I’m gonna leave. (Your leaver status has risen to 1)

The Chinese was A.K.A. Li.

An enemy has been sWain.

Viktor-y.

Gankplank.

Masteryies.

Jokes? I got a Zilean of them!

Urgot to be kidding me!

Annieways, let’s start!

Hey, Anniebody home?

Could i ashe you a question?

TIME to win the Euro Zileans!

Stupid people! They are Phreaking me out, man!

Sivir me Tibbers!

You ** Ashe hole!

I wish you good Lux.

This will work, i Garen-tee!

That TANK will RAMM-US!

This left me SIVIRly disappointed.

Well, that was a nice Twist of Fate.

Annie is pretty hot.

Ashe is cool, but Kayle is divine.

Irelia don’t know what you’re talking about…

Pfft, Lee sin to reason.

Ryze and shine.

Your digging your own Graves.

Udyr challenge me?

Seems like bad Miss Fortune to me.

Dont get Corki.

Cho´gath! Eat my Fizz.

I Garen-tee that you will lose.

All hail the glorious Chairman Maokai.

Man i miss-clicked becouse of thar Twitch.

Maan, you could hear that Ziggsplosion from miles.

I-realy need a nerf mor my W.

Want to get out of elo hell? You gotta Ryze to the occasion.

how do you Darius that computer when I’m not home?

Sona we are doing these puns again…

Vi must stop with the puns!

Long-Form League Puns

Most of the puns out there are really short one-liners. But then we came across people that really must have thought about the puns that they were going to create and then worked to turn all of the puns that they came up with into a coherent paragraph. That was extremely impressive, and it took a great deal of work, so we thought that they deserved their own category.

That’s why we have listed these long-form puns below, so that you can appreciate them in all of their glory – as well as their corniness – by themselves. These are truly the best of the long-form puns. Whoever came up with these should be proud of their work, and if you search for them, you will be able to find the original posts yourself.

Okay… Are you guys for ez-real? This has been done to death, and I Garen-tee that Annie of the puns Urgot have already been used. I mean, there’s a Zilean possibilities, and I’m not just triforcing to get a Ryze out of you, I’m being sincere. Stop with the puns. They’re lane.

This is really lane. Some of you champs needs to Ryze to the occasion. Anivia would have thought this thread would be reborn again. Seriously Brolafs? I feel like I’m going to go berserk if I don’t see some more puns here. I never Everlynn would have thought my hate would have spiked towards you guys like this. It just makes me twitch. I think I’m done with this post, before my endless rage ignited again, I need someone to come stand united with me. I think we’re all on the same team fights here. Bye!!!

But on the other hand, I asked my girlfriend and she said Shyvana keep on making up LoL puns. She thinks they’re a Riot. I swear, she has a Renekton of them. Speaking of my girl, she’s more of just a friend. Our parents just tried to Rammus together. (She’s a Phreak sometimes though, if you know what i mean) But i still Twitch when i think of her in Amumu. Enough of her though. That was irrEvelynnt.

I accidentally Draven to an old lady crossing the street today. But killing is a BIG Nunu, so THERE’s some bad Karma for you. I was scared so i took the body to a river (I didn’t want her to Ryze from the dead)

I Garentee these puns are not funny, I heard a Zilean of them but I always Zed they aren’t funny, in fact, it Lux like they are Aatroxiously not funny. They are Anniething but new, so atleast please make Brand new funny jokes or Elise people will downvote you

LOL Puns So Bad They’re Good

While compiling the puns for this article, we came across lots of bad ones. Some were just bad so they were chucked out, while others were so bad that we couldn’t bear to discard them. They are like some old horror movies – they are so awful, so terribly bad that they are actually good. It is a fine line when something surpasses that mark, but just take a look at these and see if you don’t agree that they need their own cult following.

These so-bad-they-are-good puns are going to make you groan, but you will also remember them later and hopefully, if we have done our job well, they will elicit a chuckle, even against your own better judgment.

I hate Vladimir, he really sucks…

i wouldnt mind these threads if the puns were at least thresh.

OMG that pentakill was Kata-strophic!

I told you not to steal that blue from our AP carry, and now you got killed, it was all bad Karma.

What’s the holdup? Why Ahri waiting?

I ain’t ‘Cho b***h!

Annie’d blue!

Put on some pants. I can see your Ashe.

They need to rename Brand to “Bland”…

Elise you get an assist..

Sometimes I wish this game Ezreal

All this hype is turning out to Fizz!

He needs a Graves because I just destroyed him!

Irelia think this is a bad idea.

Top Ten League of Legends Puns

Okay, so there had to be a best of category. There are a lot of puns out there, and it is really difficult to narrow the thousands that we went through to find the best. However, these are the top ten of the League of Legends puns that we could find on the internet.

You may not agree that these are the best ever (and it is quite possible that there are many that we failed to unearth in our research) but you will almost certainly agree that they are among the best and that they deserve their own category here.

These are the top League of Legends puns, which encompass the really clever, the original and the simply so-true-they-are-funny categories. Let’s take a look at the top ten.

Malphite is once stoned again.

If you’re going to put a blind person in charge of your lottery like Lee Sin you’re going to Miss Fortune.

Teemo and Cho’Gath walk into a bar.. only one of them got hit.

Q: What do you call a Bronze team with Dr. Mundo, Nurse Akali, Surgeon Shen, Kennen M.D., and Soraka? A: Doctors Without Borders.

They should make a League of Legends Broadway show about “Playing Under No Sight” (PUNS). It’d be a play on wards.

If Quinn kills Lucian, is it a hate crime or is it fowl play?

A guy playing top lane, hit 7/7/7; announced in all chat he’d hit the jaxpot.

If I ever achieve 0/0/7 on a support, I steal the next kill. If I get called out on it, I respond ‘license to kill’.

U Vlad bro?

Example of OP Shaco: JAX in the box.

Hilarious Puns from LOL

Sometimes, puns just make you laugh out loud. This is a highly subjective matter, because what is funny (or punny) to one person, might not be to another. So, these might not be as hilarious for you as they were for us. But if you can relate to them, then we’ll bet that they are going to make you laugh out loud as well. Sometimes, the most hilarious ones were the ones that you least expected, and that’s part of what is included here.

But sometimes, it was originality, or a twist on an old pun that was extremely clever. In any case, they are all terrific puns that deserve to be showcased. There aren’t very many of them, because most of the best ones from this category were placed into the top ten instead. Enjoy the few that are here though because they are great too.

Teammate intercepts Caitlyn’s ult right before it hits you, your reaction: “TANK you!”

Undead scientist: SION-tist.

So, there I was eating chicken and Ryze. But it was disgusting, so i threw it in the Thresh.

LOL Puns Straight from the Champion’s Mouth

What about puns that come straight from the champion’s mouths themselves? We found a few of those and they were really funny. They might have been just as funny if someone had else been saying them as well, but the fact that you could imagine your champion saying them was what really distinguished them from the pack. With some champions, you know their personalities so well that you simply can imagine them saying such a terribly funny thing or making a terrific pun.

The creators of these puns knew those champions as well as you and us do, and that’s why we have put them into their own category. These puns are all straight from the mouth of the champion that they are about or are referring to in some way.

Ryze: “Take this scroll and stick it… somewhere safe”

Karthus talking with Anivia: “Do you… feel a chill?”

The mighty Ymir once said: “2 Mushrooms sit in a closet. One tells the other: “There’s not mushroom in here”

Master Yi: “Wuju pass me that potion?”

Rammus: “OK.”

Vayne: “Evil Lux around every corner.”

LeBlanc: “Lux can be deceiving.”

Zilean: “Your TIME has come.”

Garen: “Shut up, we’re losing TIME now….”

Do you even Rift bro? -Kassadin

League Puns in Terrible Taste

Okay, so the fact is, there are some League of Legends jokes out there that are really in terrible taste. For example, there is a joke about Americans not being very good at LOL because they cannot defend their towers. That joke is still unfunny to most Americans so we have not showcased it here. We have also decided to skip the ones that glorify awful things like rape. You might be surprised how many of the puns out there in terrible taste that we simply decided to skip.

But there are also puns that are in terrible taste that are still pretty funny. We think that those puns deserve to be recognized, but that they should come with a warning label so that everyone knows what to expect before they read them. That’s why they have been placed here into their own category.

If you’re swapping main champions; never go from Ashe to Malph.

Why does no one like Annie lategame? Because she’s 18.

Q: What do you call a toxic Thresh that just whiffed his ult? A: A dick in The Box.

Q & A League of Legend Punnery

Finally, we have a category of puns that are sort of Q and A jokes. Most of the good Q & A jokes we came across were included in another chapter of this book. So, we didn’t find very many that were worth including here in this category. However, there were a few and they definitely deserve to be recognized for their originality and hilarity.

These are not usually classified as puns, since they are mostly in joke format, but the pun was there in each of them. Let’s take a look at some of the Q & A puns that we found.

Q: How do you know Alistar is dyslexic?

A: He always goes oom!

What do you do to a toxic Zyra? Repot them.

Q: What do you say when you unintentionally outplay your opponent as Zyra?

A: All plant.

Q: How long does it take to save up enough money for Locket?

A: Aegis

Q: What is the Undead Juggernaut’s religion?

A: Siontology

Q: What do you call it when renekton rushes a chain vest?

A: An In-vest-igator!

[misscasper3]

50 Questions To Ask A Girl If You Want To Know Who She Really Is

Found this article online awhile back and finally feel like answering the questions

1. What’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person? Leaving an abusive 6 year ‘relationship’

2. What’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak? When I was 12 I was kicked out of my parents house which I believe is the start to my fucked up need to be loved and needed by someone else.

3. Where is one place you feel most like yourself? My apartment

4. Where is your favorite place to escape to? The woods or under 5 layers of blankets in my bed

5. Who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today? My dad ❤

6. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? To be able to shut my brain off and cool down. I overthink every detail that someone says or does and I think I create issues that weren’t there. Also Id get a nose job if I could lol

7. If you had one day left to live, what would you do first? Any thought that I kept to myself, I would say it to the people it was meant for and then walk away before the person could respond back. Then, after everyone hates me lol, I would hop on the next flight to Los Angeles, go to the beach, and sit in the ocean until the end of my last day.

8. What decade do you feel you most belong in? I dont see what’s wrong with living in the time I am now??

9. Who are you closest to in your family? Why? Probably my Dad. I lived with him for a long time and he was there for me for every milestone I reached. He always took my side when things went wrong, and always was there for ANYTHING I needed, without question.

10. Who is the one person in this world that knows you best? I couldn’t answer thar exactly. Certain people know certain things about me.>

11. What is your favorite quality about your best friend? She’s there to listen when I need to rant. Even when I’m being stupid.

12. When you were younger what did you think you were going to be when you grew up? A singer for awhile. Then I wanted to be an interior decorator, but I dont think I really understood what the job really was. I just liked rearranging my room all the time.

13. If you could identify with one fictional character (from a book, show, or movie) who would it be? This question requires way too much thought. I have no clue.

14. Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments? I dont see what’s wrong with compliments, I just don’t know how to respond sometimes so my words may come out weird.

15. Is your favorite attribute about yourself physical or non-physical? Non

16. What is your favorite physical attribute about yourself? I like my skinny waist and wider hips. *I would have said hair color, but I wasn’t exactly born with purple hair so I dont think that counts*

17. What is your favorite non-physical attribute about yourself? I am understanding. I try to look at the whole picture instead of the current situation.

18. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. You cant love someone truly until you know them inside and out.

19. Do you believe in soul mates? I dunno. I believe some people definitely are meant to be in someones lives for a purpose, whether to teach a lesson and go or to participate and stay.

20. How seriously do you take horoscopes? I dont want to believe that the time and place I was born is supposed to judge my personality/fate.

21. Have you ever been in love? How many times? I have been in love. Twice. The first time I dont think could really count though since it ended up being a Catfish story. Does it count? If it doesnt,then once.

22. What makes you fall in love with someone? when they can make me laugh and forget about my bad day(s). Also if they aren’t judgmental of my actions and they try to understand why I do the things I do. Really like when people aren’t judges of my every move.

23. What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable? Ugh.. Vulnerable to me means, helpless. Needy. Small. A diary that was opened without permission. Bringing up hurtful times makes me vulnerable. Bringing up stupid things I’ve done, or times I’ve fucked up makes me vulnerable. The people who are the closest to me, who know a lot about my past are the ones that are able to break me down in that way.

24. What’s one thing you’re scared to ask a man, but really want to? why is it such a big deal for you guys to “be the man” in situations. Why do you feel that you have to prove your manliness?

25. If you were a man for a day, what would be the first thing you do? Shave my head with clippers. Its socially acceptable for guys to be bald haha

26. What do you find most attractive about each sex? I really like how guys are just bigger than females. Like big bears standing next to a tiny bunny. The size difference I think. I think its weird if a guy is the same size as me. Girls are obviously more sensitive and emotional, so. I guess I’ll pick that as my answer.

27. What’s one thing you’d love to learn more about? How the brain works basically. Like what makes people do or feel things. The science side behind depression or happy feelings.

28. What is something you’ve never done that you’ve always wanted to do? Travel out of country. Be brave enough to go on a trip alone. Zip line.

29. Why haven’t you done it yet? Mostly money. But I am just nervous for some reason. I think I just dont trust myself to make certain decisions by myself because a lot of times when you go somewhere new, you obviously dont know the area so you’re kind of guessing on where to go, what to do.

30. If money didn’t matter, what would your dream job be? Doing behind the scenes runway hair/makeup, photoshoots. Movies.

31. If you had off from work today, what would you do? I would go to the beach.

32. What was the last thing that made you cry? A fight between my boyfriend and I.

33. What was the last thing that made you laugh? I dont remember exactly.

34. What is your favorite memory? My dad making a speech at my graduation party about how proud he was of me and then he started tearing up

35. What’s the last thing that REALLY embarrassed you? I can’t think of anything that I really cared enough about to make me feel embarrassed.

36. What is your biggest fear? Being a loser in life. Giving up on goals because of my internal battles with myself. Being alone in life overall. I enjoy my alone hours, but I’m talking about fearing being alone IN GENERAL.

37. Do you have any regrets? What’s your biggest one? When I was about 13, 14ish I let my boyfriend at the time tell me I can’t be friends with a certain person. He made me cut off ties in order to stay in a relationship with him.. I regret so much that happened on that day. What I said to that person was hurtful…It hurt me to say those words and I know it hurt that person too. I was literally crying as i was telling this person to leave me alone because I didnt want to say goodbye yet I felt obligated to listen to my then boyfriend for some reason. I caused so much pain to that person that effected things down the road and I can never take it back… And I regret not answering him back when he texted me on holidays. I regret not taking his number when my mom offered it to me. I regret so many things that happened to that person because of me.

38. Have you ever broken a law? If you haven’t what is one law you’d love to break? I mean I’ve got two speeding tickets. I’ve gone in “private property” places just out of curiosity.

39. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done? I’m not a risk taker.

40. Would you have a conversation with a stranger? I do everyday at work.

41. Would you tell a stranger they have toilet paper hanging from their shoe? Or their dress tucked into their underwear? (Or anything else that is embarrassing to be seen in public)? Yes definitely. If that happened to me, I’d want someone to tell me.

42. What’s your favorite joke? Dunno

43. Are you a dog person or a cat person? I love both but lean towards cats.

44. If you could be any animal, what animal would you be? A bird so I can fly wherever I want.

45. What’s one show, movie, or book, you’re embarrassed to admit you enjoy? I used to like Bates Motel.

46. How do you think your parents would describe you as a child? Girly girl. Picky. Hard working (Mom just told me last week).

47. If you could go back to any age or time of your life, what age or time would it be? I was just thinking this in the car. Usually when people wanna go back, they say a happy time. I 100% cannot think of a time that I was so so happy and stayed happy longer than one or two days. Even if I was enjoying myself that day, there was ALWAYS something inside at the end of the day that just ate away at my soul hiding behind the ‘happy moment’.. This thought seriously depresses me.

48. What’s something you believe in that not everyone else does? I believe that when you are with someone, you are not 100% committed if you are okay with looking at other girls/guys and seeing them in a sexual way. Other people say “as long as they dont touch, its ok” or “nothing is wrong with just looking” but I believe it is fucking wrong on so many levels because that is showing desire for someone else other than the significant other. Call me prude or whatever the fuck you want.

9. What’s one thing you would say that makes you unique from other people? My brother told me that I am ALWAYS somehow able to pull myself out of every fucked up situation I’ve been in. Idk, does that really count as unique..? I guess something else would be that I literally put my entire soul into someone when I am in a relationship. I would do anything for that person. Is that unique?

50. What is one thing you feel your life is missing?  I feel like I’ve lost my passion for almost everything. I used to be so sure of myself and proud of what I wanted to do with my life and now its all a big question mark. My life is missing set goals and passion for doing something with it.