#i def will in the future but i just dont fucking care rn

[scaramarii]

"Like they were dead stars"

FANFIC TIME WOOOOOO

this is a wip

*** means different chapter. The pov may change. It isn't limited to Leo and Jason lol

● means new event

title is actually a reference to how one character is described and how i'll end the fic

TW: death, swearing, child ab*se, underage drinking, my bad attempt at graphically describing gruesome shit (y'know, maybe i should make an ao3 account)

***

Leo hadn't meant to get himself stuck in a different dimension. He most certainly did not mean to mess with a magical book (who the hell puts a magical book where innocent demigods can reach it?). And he did not mean to get kidnapped by a bright pink and blue dragon and its rider, who seemed to be attached to their cloak and mask.

"So..." Leo tried to think of something to say. "Do you normally kidnap random demigods?"

The rider shook their head, but provided no other answer.

"Antisocial much?"

They sighed, took a pad of paper out of their cloak pocket, wrote something, and passed it to Leo. They'd written "fuck yourself."

"Okay, you don't like to talk. That's fine. But you don't need to be like that!" Leo could tell that they were grinning under that mask.

The dragon aimed itself downward, and landed on cool blue grass. Its rider slid off and offered Leo a hand. He pushed it away and fell off of the dragon.

***

"Woah." Leo stared at the house in front of him. It was black, with a slight multicoloured glow to it. The biggest window was shaped like an eye, and was stained green and blue.

The dragon person looked at Leo and shrugged. It's not as impressive as its library, they signed, tilting their head.

"Still cool."

They flipped Leo off.

●

Leo's captor/random person dragging him to a random house in the middle of nowhere knocked on the door.

"Hi!" The person who answered had curly white hair, vitiligo, and moth antennae. He was wearing a pastel blue sweater and blue jeans.

"You look cool," Leo blurted.

The guys blood red eyes had a soft kind of look to them. "Thanks." He looked at the dragon guy. "Who's your friend?"

Leo could practically feel the person rolling their eyes.

His name is Leo, they signed. How did they know his name? He hadn't told them.

"Oh." The moth person smiled at him. "I'm Silk."

"Hi, Silk." Leo had a feeling that Silk was the type to get jealous.

"Silk, let those two in," someone said from inside.

"Sure."

As Leo walked inside, he tripped over a shoe, and would've fallen on his face if the person who'd practically kidnapped him hadn't caught him. "Thanks."

A woman who looked like Reyna but more athletic looking and taller and with pointy ears and a burn scar under her eye poked her head around the corner. "Hi."

Hey Raine, Leo's companion signed.

"Who's that?" Raines ears twitched.

Before his kidnapper person could sign anything, Leo elbowed them. "My name's Leo."

"Well, welcome to Terria, Leo. I'm sure Myst randomly kidnapping you gave you a good look at this hellhole."

"Mist?"

"M-y-s-t. That's not his real name, but everyone calls him that when people who don't know him are around. Also, please take off your shoes."

"Okay."

***

Jason couldn't believe that he'd done that. Flying on a dragon? That wasn't new. But randomly kidnapping his friend? That was.

"Something tells me that you're gonna be stuck here for a while." Raine picked at her jeans. "I guess I could let you stay here for a bit."

"Okay then," Leo said, standing awkwardly.

Raine poured herself a glass of wine. "Make yourself at home. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you break something, that's fine, and Silk, for fucks sake, stop glaring at Leo."

Jason slipped out the door, and took off his mask. He glared at its stupid smile, and attempted to crumple it up. Of course, that just made his hand hurt, so he threw it to the ground and stomped on it instead. "I'm so fucking stupid," he grumbled as he trudged through the woods. "I should've just left him alone. I shouldn't have done anything." Jason started cursing in Latin. His voice was full of resentment. "I messed this up. If he finds out, he's gonna hate me."

"Do you need a moment?"

Jason flinched. Silk was standing behind him. "Uh, kinda?"

Silks antennae twitched. Jason couldn't help but find him a little attractive, but that didn't mean anything. "Alright then." Silk slashed his hand across the air, and disappeared.

Jason sighed. It was bad enough that he'd come back to life in a different world. He didn't need to lose his friend. Well, he didn't know if friend was the right word. I'll figure things out. LATER.

●

When Jason got back to the house, Silk was interrogating Leo.

"How did you get here?"

"Book."

"Why would you mess with a book?"

"I have no fucking idea. Oh hi Myst."

Jason refrained from telling Leo the truth. It's not gonna hurt to hide something from him, he thought. Jason waved and ran upstairs.

***

Within the span of two hours, Leo had:

Messed with a magical book.

Got transported to a dimension called Terria.

Been kidnapped by a person named Myst.

And interrogated by a moth person.

Not as weird as some other things that had happened to him, but still weird.

While Myst was running through the woods and being a menace, Raine had given Leo a history lesson on Terria, and how his very existence was a crime and shit like that. He had a feeling that she'd get along with Annabeth.

"So, demigods are illegal here," Raine had said.

"Huh?" Leo had been confused, because he'd never heard of a law against demigods.

"Basically," Raine had waved her hand around as if to add a border to her statement. "Terrian demigods are way too powerful. The monarchy was scared of being overthrown. So they made a law to kill all Terrian demigods on sight."

"But I'm not Terrian."

"Humans can't tell the difference, and no one actually follows that law. I'm proof of that."

That had been the end of the history lesson. Afterwards, Raine had led him to the room where he'd be staying, and left him alone.

The only thing on Leo's mind was Jason. Jason fucking Grace. He'd found his way into Leos heart and stayed there, despite him being dead. It didn't help that he'd broken up with Calypso just last week.

Suddenly, a paper airplane hit Leo on the head. He looked up. Myst was standing in the doorway.

You okay? Myst may not have been talking, but he managed to convey his concern. He still had that creepy mask with the weird smiley face and his black cloak on, despite it being like 70 degrees in the house.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why are you suddenly being so nice?"

Myst shrugged and left the room. Weird, but okay. Leo had so many questions, but he had a feeling that Myst would just flip Leo off.

***

Jason sighed as he sulked in his room. He hated not knowing what day it was, or even what month it was.

Ah yes. The consequences of my actions. How nice. Whatever. Complaining wasn't going to do anything.

He wanted to despise whoever brought him back, but he couldn't bring himself to hate them. He had no idea what their intentions were.

Jason stared out his window at the starry sky, the moons shining brightly. He sighed, and went to sleep. Almost immediately, he was plunged into a nightmare.

●

He was only two when it happened. He only remembered all the details because of how horrible it had been.

Jasons mother had just gotten home from a long work day. She was not in a good mood, as usual. Just 30 minutes before, Jason had tried to eat a stapler, and she was not happy about it.

"WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO EAT A GODDAMN STAPLER?!" Beryl Grace yelled, her face twisted with rage.

"I-I'm sorry," Jason said, his vision blurry with tears, and the cut on his lip throbbing.

"Do you think I raised you to be an idiot?" His mothers voice was deathly calm. "Do you think I had you just for you to pull this shit?"

Jason tried to respond, but his voice failed him.

"You piece of shit. You want me to look bad, don't you? What kind of mother would let her kid hurt himself?"

Jason vigorously shook his head. "I'm sorry!"

His mothers fists clenched, she grabbed the collar of Jasons shirt, and threw him to the ground. "Get out of my sight. I don't want to see you until dinner."

"But-" Jason had started to get choked up again.

"Are you talking back to me?

"N-no!"

Beryl grabbed a glass on the counter, and threw it at her son. It sailed over Jasons head and shattered against the basement door behind him.

●

Jason woke with a start. He was shaking, and tears were already streaming down his face. The scar on his lip stung as if he'd just gotten it.

"It was just a memory. I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about." Jason tried to comfort himself, but his words sounded like lies. He felt a lump in his throat as he tried to calm himself down. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Everything is okay. That is definitely not a lie.

"Shut up me." Jason couldn't help but feel a little scared. He didn't like feeling so vulnerable in a place where he was supposedly safe. He'd had dreams like that before, but who could he talk to? He wasn't able to tell anyone. He was supposed to be strong, and he couldn't show fear. And at Camp Jupiter, they saw feelings as weaknesses. Anyone who was expressive and emotional would be shamed, no matter what was going on. So Jasons only way of coping was destroying small insignificant things. Notebooks, boxes, pencils, etc. It didn't help, but it was all he could do.

Rain started to fall from the sky, with no warning whatsoever. That had been happening whenever Jason got moody. He started whispering the words "I'm fine" over and over again, like a chant.

Lightning flashed.

Thunder rumbled.

The rain got heavier.

And soon, Jason could barely hear his own thoughts over the pouring rain.

***

Leo woke to the sound of thunder and rain. He sat up and checked the time. It was 5:32 in the morning. Leo realized that he'd already forgotten what day it was. When had he gotten here? Oh right. July 22nd.

He got out of bed and snuck into the hall, making as little noise as possible.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice, saying "I'm fine" over and over again like a chant. It was hard to hear over the rain, but he knew who it was.

Leo tip-toed over to where the voice was coming from, and knocked on the door.

Leo could hear cursing in a different language after a moment of silence. Eventually, Myst opened the door.

"Jason, I know that it's you."

Myst looked around, and then pointed to himself.

"Bitch, who else would I be talking to?" Leo reached up and snatched Jasons mask, his hood falling off.

Jason looked almost unrecognizable. He was thinner, paler, his hair was longer with some darker strands, and his ice blue eyes had a dim look to them, as if they were dead stars. The only things Leo could recognize were the scar on his lip, and the quiet sadness in his eyes. He looked as if something had scared him.

"Hey." Jasons voice was hoarse. He did not seem to be in the mood to talk.

"When did you come back?"

Jason winced. "I... kind of lost track of time..."

"Well, so you don't forget, it's July 23rd."

Jason looked bewildered. "Well shit."

"What?"

Jason inhaled. "I MISSED OUT ON PRIDE MONTH."

Leo couldn't help but laugh. "Dude, you died and came back to life, and that's what you're worried about?"

"Shut up, Valdez."

***

Jason rapped his fingers against the cool metal bedframe. He couldn't dwell on old memories. It would just break him.

Just focus on the rain, he thought. It'll make you feel better. So obviously, he focused on anything but the rain.

Something about his mother made him anxious. He knew she was dead, he'd even seen her ghost. But just the memory of her sent him into to fight or flight mode. He'd been seeing her in his dreams ever since she'd abandoned him. Jason used to joke about why his mom had left him, but that got him one too many looks of concern or pure disgust.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. Jason attempted to regain his composure, but ended up cursing in Latin as he threw his cloak and mask on.

When he opened the door, Leo was standing there. Jason didn't know why, but something about the other boy made him anxious. Jason wasn't scared of Leo, but something about that guy made him feel slightly panicky, and he had a strange urge to kiss him on the lips.

"Jason, I know that it's you." Leos chocolate brown eyes had a glint to them, almost like he was trying to drag all of Jasons secrets out of their hiding place.

Jason looked around and then pointed to himself. He knew Leo was talking to him, but he wanted to waste as much time as possible before Leo could pull off the mask.

"Bitch, who else would I be talking to?" Leo then snatched the mask off of Jasons face, making his hood fall down in the process.

Shit shit shit shit shit. Jason felt even more panicked. I'm gonna say something stupid. Gods fucking damn it. "Hey." He tried to sound happy, but clearly, his voice had other plans.

Leo stared up at him, a stunned expression on his face. Jason probably looked like a mess, but he didn't care. He hadn't looked in the mirror in... well, he didn't know.

"When did you come back?" Leos tone make Jason wince.

"I..." He tried to shove that panicky feeling down, but just made it worse. "...kinda lost track of time..."

"Well, just so you don't forget, it's July 23rd."

Jason took a moment to process that. "Well shit."

"What?"

He inhaled, deciding that saying something dumb was better than freaking out right in front of Leo. "I MISSED OUT ON PRIDE MONTH."

Leo laughed, filling Jasons chest with even more of that panicked feeling.

"Dude, you died and came back to life, and that's what you're worried about?"

"Shut up Valdez."

Leo grinned. "Something's telling me that you missed me."

Jason looked away. "No... I actually enjoyed being away from you." He had a feeling he was blushing.

"Why is your face so red?"

Jason suddenly felt overwhelmed. He was panicking, wondering if he would slip up and admit his feelings to Leo. "NO IT ISN'T," he yelped, and slammed the door.

●

Jason set the hair dryer down. "I am so going to regret this later." He sighed, and left the bathroom.

When he entered his room, Leo was there, arms crossed.

"Did you eat anything?" Leo sounded unbelievably stern.

Jason once again felt a little panicked as he tried to respond, but no sound came out. He settled on shaking his head.

"So you would rather dye your hair pink than than eat something."

"Uhhh," Jason said. He couldn't figure out what to say without sounding stupid. (And he'd dyed his hair red, not pink.) He decided to just use sign language. Sorry that my priorities are off, he signed, earning an amused grin from Leo.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just go get food," he said, tapping his leg.

Jason shrugged. Fine.

***

Leo attempted to build up the courage to confront Jason about why he'd slammed the door on him, but he was even more confused about why Jason had looked so shaken. It could've been a bad dream, or a memory, or...

"Leo."

Leo looked up from his little invention that he'd been disassembling and rebuilding over and over again. "Yeah?"

"Okay, you're alive." Raine closed the door.

Leo still couldn't get over the fact that she was 6'2. How did she survive without hitting her head against doorframes? And who decided they were called doorframes? And why was it called a door?

Leo smacked the side of his head. He looked at the thing he'd made. It just looked like a mess of metal and gears with a handle. In other words, it looked like shit.

●

The day went by quickly. Jason had been interrogated by the demon known as Silk Erdmann about how he and Leo knew each other. Raines girlfriend had visited. And Jason had burned himself while making mac n cheese.

Leo stared at his room. It felt weird to be in a different world where the sky was orange and there were three moons.

A knock on his door startled him.

Leo opened it, and Jason was waiting with... wait, was that Nico?

"Hey Leo." Jason nudged Nico.

"Hi." Nico did not seem to appreciate Jason doing that, and pushed him away.

"Sooo, uhhh..." Leo really had no idea what to do. "Come in I guess?"

Jason practically dragged Nico in. "Nico needs better people skills," he said.

"No."

"Oh shut up."

Leo snickered. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing much." Nico picked at his nails.

Jason smirked. "Guess what I got," he said in a sing-song voice.

"Oh for fucks sake Jason, stop talking like that."

"What do you have?" Leo tilted his head and pulled on a strand of his hair.

Jason reached into his backpack and pulled out a bottle of liquor. He grinned mischievously.

"Oh my gods. Jason, why do you have that?" Nico raised an eyebrow.

"No questions!" Jason looked impossibly close to laughter.

"Something tells me that one of us is gonna get drunk and pass out." Leo drew a circle on the floor with his finger. "Spoiler alert, it's not me or Nico."

Jason laughed. "Oh please. I'm better than that."

"Do you two want to be left alone? Because I can leave if you want."

"Nico, shut up." Jason playfully pushed Nicos shoulder.

"Not until you tell Leo."

"Tell me what?"

"It's nothing." Jason smiled, but there was something off about it. Almost like he was anxious about something.

●

It turned out that Leo was right about Jason getting drunk and passing out.

Leo found a pack of UNO cards under his bed. "How 'bout we play UNO?"

"What the heck is that?" Jason and Nico asked in unison.

"Nico has an excuse to not know what it is, but how have you never heard of it?"

Jasons face reddened. "The wolves weren't exactly sitting down and playing cards."

Leo explained the rules to him and Nico, holding back laughter as Jason asked more and more questions. "Can you explain that again?" "What the heck does that mean?" "Why do you have to say that?"

After what seemed like millennia, they finally understood what the game was about. Nico was constantly winning, with Jason jokingly insulting himself. After Nico won for the fifth time in a row, Jason started laughing until his face was red and he was lying down and covering his face.

"There is no way you're already drunk." Leo tilted his head at Jason.

In one quick move, Nico snatched up the bottle, only to discover that it was emptier than it should have been. "Jason. Did you seriously just drink over half of this shit?"

Jason grinned sheepishly. "Maybe?"

"Oh my fucking gods." Nico shook his head in exasperation.

"I have a problem." Jason said "problem" like how Wall-E said anything. He started giggling. Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, former praetor of Rome. Giggling. Leo hadn't heard of anything so strange.

Jason sat up and leaned against Leo. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. He tried to calm his breathing. He's drunk. It probably doesn't mean anything.

Nico raised an eyebrow. "Something tells me he likes you."

Jason made a weird sound in the back of his throat. "Noooo I don't," he said.

"Dude, you're drooling."

"No I'm not," Jason said, clearly drooling. He nestled his head in the crook of Leos neck.

"Should I leave?" Nico had a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"If you want, I guess." Leo ran his fingers through Jasons hair.

Nico smiled, then winced as if smiling caused him physical pain. For all Leo knew, it probably did. "I'll leave you two be." Nico stood up, and left the room.

Afterwards, there was a moment where Leo wanted to kiss Jason on the forehead, but he wouldn't appreciate that. Suddenly, Jason spoke.

"Mmmmmmmmmleo."

Leo looked at Jason. "Yeah?"

"Leo." Jason said Leos name like it was the most important thing in the world.

"What is it?"

Jason waited for a few moments. "I love you."

"W-what did you say?" Leo felt slightly panicked.

"I love you, Valdez." Leo could tell that Jason was smiling.

"I..." All this time, Jason had liked him? Then again, it could've just been him saying things randomly. "Jason?"

Jason did not respond.

"Dude."

Still no response.

Leo rolled his eyes, moved, so Jason was lying on the floor, and looked at the blueprint he'd sketched out a week prior. He turned on the lamp on his desk, bathing the room in a dim orange light. As he was about to sit down, he heard Jason mutter something about cats in his sleep. Leo decided to give him a blanket.

He stared at the notes he'd jotted down. Leo had been in a rush when making it, so his handwriting was messy. The blueprint was a smaller version of Festus, but without all the pointy and dangerous bits, so Harley would be able to play with something other than the tools scattered around the Hephaestus cabin. Maybe I can use this in a different way... Leo had a feeling that the brightly coloured dragon in the yard would want a friend.

"Hey Jason?" Leo said it loud enough to wake Jason up.

Jason groaned. "Whaaaaat." His tone made it sound like Leos voice had interrupted a nice dream.

"What's the dragons name?"

Jason grumbled something about Leo being annoying. "Her name's Mochi." He passed out again. Leo rolled his eyes.

He carefully dragged Jason into the bed. The floor wasn't very comfortable, and Jason would probably wake up with a neck cramp and a hangover if he stayed on the floor.

Leo then realized how weird that sounded. "Shit. Percy's a horrible influence." He brushed the thought aside and started working on the dragon.

As he worked, his eyelids felt like lead. Leo had to force them open so he wouldn't fall asleep. Eventually, that failed, as when he was done with the mini dragons skeleton, he barely managed to move it out of the way before he passed out.

***

The first thing Jason was aware of was his splitting headache. The next thing was that he didn't remember falling asleep in a bed. He sat up, feeling slightly dizzy. He hadn't had any nightmares, which made him uneasy. It was like the calm before a storm.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead." Leo was leaning against the doorframe, an amused grin on his face.

Jason stared at him. He suddenly realized that he was in Leos room. Meaning he was in Leos bed. "Did you-?" He couldn't finish the thought.

Leos expression went from grinning to amused surprise. "The floor isn't really the best place to fall asleep." His warm brown skin, chocolate brown eyes, and elfish features made Jason feel like fireworks were going off in his chest.

"Ummm..." Jason hoped his face wasn't red.

"Are you okay? You look like you're about to pass out."

Jason got up quickly, only to stumble. He blinked the spots out of his eyes. "I'm fine."

Leo snickered. "Yeah, okay Sparky."

"I haven't heard that in a while." Jason suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline. "Did I say anything weird last night?"

Leo looked away. "No, you just sounded crazy."

"Leo."

"Shut it."

"Repair boy."

"Fuck yourself."

Jason had the urge to say "only if you watch," but he refrained from saying it.

"Cat got your tongue?" Leo asked smugly.

"Ha! In your dreams!"

●

Raine needed time to scheme, so Leo, Nico, and Jason got the house to themselves. For some reason, Nico decided that he was just going to pace around and periodically look out the window, as if he was nervous about something.

"Dude, why are you acting so weird?" Leo pulled a wrench out of his tool belt and started to spin it like a pencil.

Nico looked at Leo like he'd just set off a bomb. "It's nothing."

Jason tried to tune them out. It wasn't like he didn't want to hear them talk, it was just that he had a headache, and everything seemed louder than normal. He grabbed a pair of headphones off the coffee table.

Of course, trying to tune everything out was a mistake.

After a few moments, Jason heard a crash. He jumped up, tossed the headphones onto the couch, and rushed to where the noise came from.

When he got there, Leo had a look of shock on his face.

"What-?" Jason then looked at Nico.

Nico seemed to have been hit by a vase. The right side of his face was bleeding. There were ceramic shards scattered across the floor. He sat up, clearly dazed.

"Oh gods!" Jason grabbed Nico by the shoulders. "Are you okay?" Dumb question, but he wasn't really thinking.

"Yes?" Blood dripped from Nicos mouth.

"No you aren't. Leo, make sure he doesn't die."

"O- Okay," Leo stammered.

Jason rushed to his room. When he'd come back to life, he'd been messed up so badly that it made it possible for him to use technology without attracting monsters. Of course, it also messed up his ability to fly. He grabbed his phone and called Raine.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up." Jason felt a surge of adrenaline and a lump forming in his throat as he looked at the phone.

After what felt like hours, Raine picked up. "What's going on?"

"A vase fell on Nicos head and I don't know what to do," Jason said, his heart pounding.

"Did it break?"

"Yeah."

Raine cursed in Terrian. Jason was pretty sure she'd just cursed her mothers name. "I'll be there in a second." She hung up.

Jason quickly put down the phone, and ran downstairs. Nico was sitting down, holding a wet paper towel on his face. Leo was pacing around, clearly confused on what to do.

"I called Raine. She'll be-." Before Jason could even finish his sentence, Raine just appeared without any warning.

"Jason, clean up the mess that the vase left. Leo, you help him. Nico, I might have to knock you out."

Nico shrugged. "I've done that to myself before."

"I'm not even gonna ask."

Jason grabbed a broom and paper towels. "Leo, come on." Jason grabbed Leos hand and dragged him over to where the vase hit Nico.

***

After that mess, Raine left the house after making sure Nico would be okay. That left Jason and Leo alone.

Jason was clearly upset by what happened. He was fidgeting, and picking at his gloves. Leo didn't blame him. He was also shaken from what happened. But there was still one thing he couldn't understand. When the vase had hit Nico, it looked like someone had thrown it.

"Did- did you see exactly what happened?" Jason resorted to tapping his leg.

"No, I didn't." Leo glanced at Jason, attempting to avoid staring at his lips.

"Alright," Jason said, his voice shaky. Then, the unthinkable happened. Tears filled his eyes, streaming down his face. He buried his face in his hands, sobbing.

Leo flinched at that. He couldn't remember ever seeing Jason cry. Sure, he occasionally got teary-eyed, but those moments never lasted long enough for anyone who wasn't studying his face closely enough. And Leo had experience with staring at Jasons face.

"I should've been paying attention!" Jason sounded like a dying cat. He started yelling some things in a language Leo didn't recognize. He assumed that the other boy was cursing.

"Jason." Leo waited for Jason to calm down.

He just kept sobbing.

"Jason." Leo put a hand on his shoulder. "What's been bothering you?"

Jason looked at Leo. "What- what do you mean?" he asked through tears.

"When I found out you'd come back, you sounded like you were trying to calm yourself down after something. What was it?"

Jason looked around. "I- well- it's just- I had a nightmare," he stammered.

Son of a bitch. "I've both seen and heard you after nightmares, and you do not act like that. Tell me the truth."

Jason had a look of shame and embarrassment on his face. "It was about my mom." He sniffed. "But... that's not everything."

"What do you mean?"

"I... well, you'd make fun of me."

"No, I wouldn't. Tell me."

Jason took a few deep breaths. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure." Leo looked Jason dead in the eyes. Jason seemed to be shaking.

"Oh my gods..." Jason looked at his feet, as if he was ashamed for what he was about to say. "Leo... how do I say this? You take up half of my thoughts. You... well, you're you. And I know you don't feel the same way, but..."

Leo knew where this was going. But he wanted to hear more of what Jason had to say.

"But I need to tell you this. I can't keep this to myself anymore." Jason took a deep breath.

"What is it?"

"I love you."

"That sucks for you," Leo blurted out.

Jason groaned. "Someone kill me." He smacked his forehead.

Leo felt like screaming, crying, laughing, and or smacking Jason in the face all at the same time. He had a feeling he needed time to himself so he could set himself on fire without burning the house down.

"Leo?" Jason didn't look at him. "You okay?"

Leo bit the inside of his cheek. "Yeah. I- well- I like you too." His nose caught on fire, and he quickly patted the flames out. "But, I feel like it's a little too soon to actually start dating. I literally just broke up with Calypso."

"Oh." There was a hint of jealousy in his voice. Jason had always seemed a little weird when Leo talked about Calypso, but he'd dismissed it as him wondering why his relationship with Piper didn't work out the way Leo and Calypsos had.

Mochi suddenly poked her head through an open window. She snorted, looking at Jason.

Jason sighed as he got up. He walked towards Mochi, and set his hand on her snout. "Hey, Mochi." He scratched her chin, and she purred like a cat.

Mochi snatched Jason up by his hood. She tossed him outside, and shut the window with her tail.

***

Jason face planted on the grass when Mochi tossed him outside. He sat up, brushing a few leaves out of his hair. He heard the window snap shut, and Mochi nuzzled his head with her snout.

"Hey, Mochi." Jason mustered a smile.

Mochi smacked him in the face with her right wing.

Jason flinched away, and snickered. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I won't leave you alone for that long again!" A puff of smoke escaped Mochis nostrils. She snorted, a proud expression on her face.

Jasons smiled faded. He scratched Mochi under her chin. It felt like there was soap in his eyes. He blinked more tears away, holding back a sob. Nico could have been okay if Jason had been there. He wanted to melt away into a lonely puddle, remembering the gash the vase left on Nicos face. Best case scenario, he'd be blind in his right eye permanently.

Mochi sniffed at Jasons face, and curled up beside him. What's wrong? she seemed to be asking.

Jason forced a laugh, and buried his face in his hands. He groaned, and wished he could go back to when he'd been disguising himself. "Myst" seemed less like Jason and more like another life. Hell, it kind of was.

Mochis head suddenly snapped up. She snarled, smoke curling from her nostrils.

"Is something wrong?" Jason stood up, scanning the area. He didn't see anything other than trees and glowing blue soul flowers.

He then heard a sound like a twig snapping. Jason slowly drew a dagger from his belt, careful to not drop it.

He silently approached the woods, gesturing for Mochi to stay put. Jason paused as he heard bushes rustling. He turned in the direction the noise was coming from, and gripped his dagger tightly. He dashed into the forest, hoping he wouldn't get lost again.

●

Jason hopped over a log and hit his ankle, cursing in Latin at the sudden pain. He paused to look around, listening for any sudden noises. All he could hear were crickets chirping and the sound of those strange creatures he'd found on his first day in Terria.

[kenlvry]

angry confessions

c; getting into an argument abt something then saying “why u care” and yhhhh, angry confessions speak for itself, aged up 16-17 kenny kyle and stan

kenny mccormick

kenny wasn’t really fazed when something bloody happened, having died millions of time before, he got used to it. but when he saw you and some girl fighting he almost yelled stop loudly tryna be the main character, he let the fight happened bc he knew you hated it when someone pulls you away from a fight, it made it seem like you lost.

after the fight that you won you were frustrated and walked away home bc school alr ended, kenny ran to you and yelled at you “ what the fuck y/n?? you know how fucking dangerous that was?? you looked so fucked up” he said while holding a first aid kit, you couldnt care less how you look, “ y/n! are you even listening?? y/n” he said and walked infront of you, 

“fuck kenny what?, can i not get into a fight? idgaf how i look, she asked for it” “are you hearing yourself rn?? what if you fractured something?? cmon sit down so i can check” he touched your arm “don’t touch me” you said sternly, he let go and you walked away, he wasn’t going to let you go like that so he grabbed your arm again “omg kenny why the fuck do you care so much?! why do you care if i got into a fight!?” “ because i like you dumbass!” your eyes widen and so does kenny “w-what...” you said “ now let me treat you, cmon” he said checking you hands while blushing ,

after that it got somewhat awkard but you two def act more close than ever

stan marsh

you were hanging out with a boy, not just any other boy but a boy that was known as the most violent kid at school, people said the boy always got into fights, smokes behind the school and disrespects teachers. but there you were talking and laughing with him, it made stans heart twist, after you were done talking to the boy stan went over and talked to you to warn you abt him.

“yo y/n why were you talking to him js now?” you looked at stan then at the boy, “who him?” you looked over to the boy and stan nodded “because... hes my friend? plus i have him for my science partner so we were talking abt when to meet up” you said smiling and walking away “hold on, yk who he is right?? stay away from him, he’s dangerous!” stan said pulling your arm “cmon stan stop over reacting he’s sweet, he even promised to buy me lunch!” you said pulling away from him, “still! im going to talk to mr garrison abt this, i’ll ask so you and me are on the same team” he said and walked away, now youre the one pulling his arm

“the fuck? dont, its none of your business” he was so shocked at how defensive you got over the kid “its too! what if you got hurt,infact i’ll make sure for future projects that requires two people us two are already on one” he tried walking away again, “stan! dont butt in! let me be, hes not as dangerous as people potray him!” you said slightly raising your voice “ i’m not risking it.” he said crossing his arms also raising his voice slightly “ why the fuck do you care??! you never cared before!” you yelled looking angry “because i love you y/n! bc i care for you! how have you not realize it by now geez!” he yelled back, you sat there shocked with a slight tint of pink on your cheeks he coughed a little breaking the tension “ now cmon, you wanna change partners or not” he looked away refusing to make eye contact, you nodded. 

the whole time you two were working on the project you two blushed and smiled literally acted like you two never met

kyle broflovski

although you looked like a very untroubled person, you also had problems you wished would go away. so often times you and some other kids would smoke at the back of the school before school starts, its a way for you to release stress before school starts.

everyone kinda knew, the way you smelt when school starts it was too obvious,not to kyle i guess.. people didnt tell him bc they thought he knew! you thought he knew too tbh, but he thought it was from your dad or someone in your family, he believes your not one to get into that shit

school started and you scrapped your cig bud on the wall and threw it in a bin that was prepared by one the kid who smoked, as much as he smoked he cared for the environment too yk even though he's literally ruining it by smoking .when you came in the smell was strong, kenny smiled knowing what you did before school "smells strong y/n, things got tough huh?" he smiled while laughing a little "atp y/ns lung is gonna be all black like her heart" cartman added "is your dad okay y/n? he shouldn't smoke infront of his kids" kyle tried chiming in which made all five of you stop in your tracks. you looked at each other in confusion

"kyle, y/n dad isnt even alive" and kyle eyes was widen, he never asked bc he thought your dad was messed up and didn't wanna triger you. "wait then why does y/n smell like smoke" "bc she the one that smokes dumbass" kyles eye widen even more. with a little brother who used to vape and a bestfriend who drinked he was scared you'd be addicted too so he asked to talk to you separately.

"the fuck y/n?? smoking is so bad for you, you have to stop right now!" kyle got mad "ugh its none of your business,you literally used to smoke and how come you've only find out now?" you said rolling your eyes "thats not important! that shit can fuck up your lungs," "okay dad" you laughed a little and he got mad, he reach for your pockets and took away the packet of cigarettes you had "what the fuck kyle give them back, a teachers gonna see!" "no! not until you say you're gonna quit and start going to school with us from now on" he held the packet of cigarette high so you couldn't reach em

"why do you care?! why do you care if my lungs go all black and fade away? thats my problem!" "because i like you!" he said bringing the pack down and sighed "i like you y/n and I'm scared i might loose you so please, stop doing this" you blushed at the sudden confession

you didn't entirely quit, it was hard quitting something you always did as a routine so kyle would allow you only two times a week and gradually move from there<3

[swaggypsyduck]

Aight, it's time for kymb-10 love messenger 💌again, cause we all need it in these weird times and the stuff that are circulating around.

Girl you're going through shit, you need this the most.

Baby girl, take deep breaths. Take care of yourself first before you take care of others. Value yourself before others. Families can be very cruel, just diet ace yourself a bit. Don't mind the silent treatment or any other damn thing. Just take care of your phisical and mental health.

Shitty situation, but you'll get through it.

Here take my Pizza 🍕 it's halal too 😉

Sidenote: I'm probably not supposed to laugh, but I actually cackled at "expensive food with tiny servings/portions" 🙈

You got this, girl. Hang in there 🩷

so i decided to answer this when i got back to my bed bc i was def gonna cry if i tried to answer it outside.

honestly i think me acting the same and not reacting to anything made them realize that im not fucking around this time. and since the group of family im w rn all older than me except my brother they have this cultural thing where they cant say sorry but they will show that "maybe ur not as wrong as i thought" by buying me things and offering foods. and they let me pick where we eat for lunch sooooo yah! problem half solved i guess??

dw u can laugh!! i make my rants to vent and also roast others so yall can laugh!!

im so honoured to receive a kymb-10 love message💌🥺. i dont have a way w words like u do but trust i will send u tiktoks or make memes for u in the future!!

[lostacelonnie]

Definitely understandable i easily lose the energy to talk with people when i have to interact with family. So you're good. Ah yes the dont worry about it approach my favorite. Especially when what you do in regards to you is your business. Well between last message & now i forgot so thats a good indicator of how thats goin. Beaches over here are hit & miss but the closer ones to me arent as popular thankfully. Hm. What is a2 knowledge & how is it getting worse? I adore colder climates heat is not kind to me at all. Tents are. Well. Some are decently priced depending on how big of one you get. Oh i definitely recommend going with friends its a lot of fun. Ive been slacking a bit on the game but so far clara is workin for me. Probably wont have enough for kafka. Oooh good luck to you with all your pulls. Story spoilers aren't a major thing for me because the how is always still fun. Definitely understand some just dont want em at all. Every time i try minecraft im like. Never sure what i want to do. So kudos to you for stickin with the game & having fun. Smaller cities are nice love having close stuff without being in like. A big city. Ah dang i hope you find that dye again in the future. Makeup is hard it should be easier for those who wanna wear it. Ive been so busy i missed. So many events whoops. Problem of bein stuck level gaining to continue story. Motivation is hard to come by. I busy myself reading or looking up new science discoveries when i dont wanna leave my room.

thankies ahdhfjfj!!! and, once again, apologies for the late reply. my grandma fortunately left a while ago but i was feeling Cranky and didnt wanna sound Annoyed With Existing ahdjfh. still kinda dying inside since i return to school in 2 weeks but fuck it we ball we stay silly etc. COMING BACK. yeah like "nobodys gonna know-" "theyre gonna know." "how would they know". and understandable sjdkfgjk consider this your reminder then. and ahh fair i live pretty far away from the sea so i dont really know good Spots i guess. BUT i do like lake beaches since theyre way more quiet most of the time. and basically im not exactly sure in how many countries it applies, im thinking most of europe? but essentially language knowledge here is divided by levels, a1 -> a2 -> b1 -> b2 -> c1 -> c2 with c2 being the highest. and well i guess theres also a0 but thats just when you start. a2 is just speaking Basic English, so like enough to survive if you go to an english speaking country but not much more. for reference, by tests ive done, my level is like between b2 and c1 so very decent but i dont know most of the "fancier" and more specific words. and with it "getting worse" i mean that [at least from what our teacher told us] the textbooks are getting easier and easier so people are leaving school not actually knowing almost anything. yeah SAME its been so hot here recently so ive been Suffering. and yeah i know but me and my mother dont really know if its a good idea to buy one since we dont really go camping anyway. but maybe when im an adult im gonna get more into it, esp if i have ppl to do it with. and ah thats nice to hear!!! i DID manage to get kafka and her lightcone so ive been having fun with her recently. actually overpowered. tho i heard shes quite f2p friendly. and oh understandable!! i unfortunately used to be on tiktok where they spoil EVERYTHING and its impossible to avoid so ever since then ive been extra careful. tho i kinda feel that way ab fontaine rn [cos i ended up actually being kinda interested] since i cant download it rn but still am excited 4 the story despite knowing little unconnected bits. and fair, minecraft def isnt for everyone but its very good for chilling out at least to me. rn im procrastinating on beating the ender dragon so im just maxxing out my gear rn. and yeah but im still gonna see whether or not i wanna live a long way from my family. oh well i still have time. also thanks!!! i have not been successful yet but i bought another dye so im gonna keep you updated on that. and ahhhh understandable, ive been Grinding so i didnt have that problem sjfkg i should build my sampo but. ah. i hate grinding artifacts. pretty excited for the 1.3 simulated universe update tho!!! esp since im really curious about the aeons so seeing more of the propagation is sth im looking forward to. but good luck!!! and VERY real i like doing wikipedia deep dives esp about marine animals. im a fishpilled oceancel but i unfortunately suffer from Not Remembering Anything Ive Read Ever.

[boobchuy]

here is the ramble that made me hit tag limit for the first time in the entire *checks calendar* five??? years??? ive been on this hellsite??? they are doing things to my mind.

thinking abt sashanne tonight but honestly has it ever even stopped since commander anne dropped. they are sooooooo skrunklies. little losers.

like ive also been leaning into the popular characterization of anne being mad at sasha and the latter being a loser and just them being idiots and having drama in general. but like sometimes i think abt how these two genuinely care abt each other.

laugh about their first reunion in amphibia all u want, but in the lens of being a teenager/13 (more or less 15 but u get my point) even though its silly its what makes it genuine and theyre happy to see each other again and they dont try to hide that happiness at all!!! like they are literally kids. and they do care for one another!

in the future these reunions no longer have that kind of enthusiasm. theyre more. subdued. anne was suspicious as hell in the second time but the third time had her running into sashas arms once more!!! and thats what i kinda want to psychoanalyze rn like.... anne def deserves to go apeshit and she HAS multiple times and though it would have been nice and awesome to see her still hold some kind of visible grudge/anger towards sasha, theres just something very sweet to me abt how anne will literally just.forgive the people she cares about time and time again.

like, we all know it bites her back in the ass and yeah maybe its not really her intention to be so forgiving in the sense that everyone deserves a second chance and that shes ACTIVELY trying to spread kindness and love all around- to repeat what i said earlier, she is just a kid. yet shes still someone who wants whats best for everyone and would rather have everything be okay rather than dwell on the past. what shes mostly doing is just focusing on another goal in mind, like what mr matt braly said himself, that for the first time in the entire show, she actually has a mission! going back home was more so in the background and wasnt that urgent in previous seasons, and this new one, about saving her friends and defeating andrias, is whats giving her the drive to finish a job, for better or worse.

and in the end of it all, im wondering if she’s ever given herself the space to breathe and process what she’s feeling about all this. i wonder if she’s even stopped to consider that it’s something that she should do! i feel like... annes the type of person to brush off her own emotions and dwell on them by her lonesome unless someone pries, and even then, i dont think it clicks in her head that its important to talk about these things, and not in the way that they dont matter (though if u REALLY want to delve into that then yeah maybe theres a bit of her thinking it isnt important), but i guess... that everything else that is happening, should be the things that are being given attention

sorry for rambling abt annie b when i said this was about sashanne akjdhfkf let me get onto that...

SO. you know that popular surge of angst art of anne being mad at sasha (THOSE WERE SO TASTY BTW. SASHANNE WAS AT AN ALL TIME HIGH). and instead of that we just had anne instantly running to hug sasha!!!!! AND THIS PART. THIS TINY ALMOST UNNOTICEABLE PART THAT I ONLY CAUGHT ON MY REWATCH, THAT LINE. AFTER ANNE CALLS OUT HIS NAME AND HUGS HIM.

“You’re alive!”

THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. this makes me go crazy. the fucking implications. how many nights has this girl spent dreading if her friends are still alive. if she thought that sasha was... in danger, and w her saying in the new normal that she knows marcy, the one she WATCHED get stabbed in front of her eyes, is alive. that she has to be. i just. just how much are you keeping to urself. keeping from EVERYONE.

to go along w me saying that she's not really processed enough about everything that's happened where she has recognized the... issues that comes w being betrayed like three times in one day, I like to believe that... w the few times she's maybe thought abt sashas betrayal, that once she saw him on wartwood that day, all pretense of negativity and hurt were swept away with the relief that he's here and safe and alive. and I think, w that massive burden on the shoulders w having to save two friends, and seeing one of them accounted for, I think she desperately wants to hold onto that bit of happiness and positivity. and why she's so quick to want to believe that sasha has changed for the better

then we go to the part where she accuses sasha of manipulating her again. and we all knew at some point that a moment like that was coming from a mile away, but what really made me lose it was when alex posted the board version. where she’s literally fucking tearing up as she’s saying these things. bc she hates having to admit them, when she missed sasha so much, worried for his well-being, and to think for a second that she was just being fooled again hurt.

so with sasha’s outburst came with another relief, to believe that sasha has changed for the better, with how much she helped wartwood and the resistance. and her to scrape away past hurt w being betrayed, and just. be friends with sasha again.

to add more onto... less serious musings and more headcanon territory lol, with me being an advocate of oblivious and dense anne, i like to think that anne just. loves to cling onto the idea of sasha, both literally and figuratively. like, she wants things to be okay again, and sometimes it just feels surreal to know that sasha’s actually here, and she doesnt have any kind of bad intentions, and that these feelings manifest into her being affectionate as hell

commander anne showed her being the one initiating all these hugs, the second one having her being so excited at the prospect of their relationship being changed for the better that she fucking squealed. this girl, i stg aksdjfhk. but yeah, i like to think that she becomes way more touchy w sasha, whether w hand-holding, hugs or just generally being near sasha’s vicinity. im thinking that these actions dont necessarily register in her head, like she just does them, bc it makes her happy and sasha hasnt told her to stop even if he does still freeze from time to time whenever she does it so... yep :)

[scalpelsister]

its oversharing hour on tumblr. cr3 spoilers below but im not tagging this bc i dont want it in the main tags. (again, really oversharing on this one, don’t reblog obvi haha, but feel free to comment or whatever)

god i have so many thoughts. too many thoughts. i think most people know that I am a laudna stan + have def done my fair share of projecting onto her w/ mental illness (schizophrenia and a little bit o ptsd). Like as part of schizophrenia, I experience cotards- for me specifically I often have both delusions and hallucinations surrounding my body rotting, or about me being undead- this was something that started in my second psychotic episode ~ 2020. I connect with undead characters, especially ones who show any sign of goodness, because I often perceive myself as being literally undead. Seeing an undead character in my favorite show- especially after seeing Sylvanas Windrunner being utterly fucked over and villainized wrongfully- was such a comforting thing for me inherently. Like Laudna was a source of hope for me- shes undead, shes weird, people might judge her for being weird or monstrous, but shes loved so deeply. Like it was a reassurance that people like me could be good and kind and be loved and have friends. That there really was hope for traumatized corpse people after all (again, keep in mind, that the last traumatized corpse person I connected with ended up having the writing team say no actually, shes evil for being a traumatized corpse, and deserves to take her own life and go to hell).

My energy rn is not letting me word things how I want to, but I can’t stress enough how important it was to see an undead who had severe trauma and heard voices in her head and was weird and off putting to most people who didn’t try to get to know her. To see her unashamedly love weird morbid creepy shit and see her embrace at least some of her weirdness. And to then see her be genuinely, deeply loved (esp by another woman. hashtag lesbianism or whatever), and be appreciated for being who she is, not despite of it. Like idk maybe its the trauma / abandonment trauma in me showing, but seeing Imogen go back to her, seeing others be unafraid to share a bed with her, seeing others show concern about HER rather than fear of her when Delilah shit happened. Like the amount of times I’ve opened up about my voices- not even bad things they say, but just having them to be met with ‘are you like... homicidal? like are you going to hurt me?’ or the gem of ‘yeah I care about you but idk if I can trust you now that I know that. You will never be allowed around my future kids if I’m not there, because you’re dangerous. Like thank you for sharing but I’m going to go now and think about it before you hurt me or something’. Like its such a low bar but shes honestly the only character I can even think of or name that wasn’t villainized or hated or otherwise had the narrative imply their life was meaningless / wrong / they where better of dead just for being like me. Like I know this may not connect with many others but its so alienating and isolating to see other people like you demonized again and again and again in fiction and seeing the same message of ‘the death of people like you is worth celebrating’ all over the place. I can’t possible put into words how meaningful it is to have even on character break that mold. To hear /anyone/ much less one of my fave actresses on my fave show (which-has been my favorite since long before I experienced cotards to clarify) that being like this and just being alive and trying to love others regardless was worth celebration. That there is hope and love waiting in the future.

I think thats why her death is hitting me so hard. I just want to see ONE character like me make it to their happy ending. Just one to say that my life doesn’t have to be a tragedy.

And I think thats why people are pissing me off SO BAD by insisting she will come back alive / not undead, that it would so cool and fun to see all of that erased. I don’t want that to be erased. Its utter total bullshit to say it would be more interesting or more impactful to see her ‘properly’ alive and not have voices anymore and forget her loved ones and how much they love her. I want her back as she was. I don’t care if others think shes broken or gross or that she should get to be alive again or whatever. She’s been alive this whole time. She’s had a soul this whole time. There’s nothing fucking wrong with her, stop trying to fix her or uno reverse her being different. It was already interesting and meaningful that she WAS different and that it wont go away and that that’s fucking ok and doesn’t make her worthless or bad or unlovable. Shut the fuck up please.

[hello-yue-here]

The Great Comet is my favorite musical ever D:::: so great to see anyone talk about it ever haha. But I wanna hear you talk about the sokkla and wicked song! also the zutara one is spot on

great comet is LITERALLY tied for my fav musical (les mis is the other it was the first show i ever saw and it was amazing and enjfoaiend so many feelings for that musical)

i am SO GLAD you asked ab sokkla and wicked because that along with the yuekka great comet no one else song is what inspired me to make that list

so without further ado: sokkla: as long as your mine

one of the big things with sokkla as a ship is that most of the fics i read and most of the art i see if that many sokkla fans and artists rlly play into the whole forbidden romance theme; moreso than any other fm swt pairing in the series (ie zutara zukka azutara u get the gist)

and this song is ALL ABOUT THE FORBIDDEN ROMANCE

you see: fiyero in wicked is a carefree guy who plays up his charm and plays dumb a lot when in actuality i think hes a very smart character. i know sokka doesnt pretend to act dumb and thats a difference between him n fiyero: but the fact that theyre both pretty smart strategic characters is why i associate them with eachother

azula as elphaba?? HANDS DOWN AMAZING. elphaba is an outsider. she isnt liked by many people. she is very thoughtful and precise with her actions and has shown she can be cunning and manipulative when she needs to be. sound familiar? consider a post-redemption arc azula for this role. just just think of it.

now onto the lyrics:

"i need help believing your with me tonight / my wildest dreamings could not foresee / lying here beside you / with you wanting me"

elphaba in this moment cant rlly believe that the fact that she is with fiyero is reality. azula has been seen in the finale of atla to struggle in terms of reality and people wanting her (ie her mother saying she loves her and azula not believing it because it isnt real) i know this is a bit of a stretch because elphaba isnt hallucinating and has never been known to do so, but azula and elphaba definitely both have issues with people genuinely loving them and wanting them.

"maybe im brainless / maybe im wise"

LJGFJHGF my favorite hc that i have for sokkla is that while they are the two smartest characters in all of atla: they become dumb when it comes to each other. thats personally a hc i have for this ship and this line just supports that wholeheartedly. Sokka becomes a lovesick idiot when it comes to azula and he knows this. so is he dumb for acting like an idiot around her? or is he smart for loving her anyways. (both. its both.) also just the symbolism and implications of sokka saying this line when we all know hes a genius but in the show hes seen as insecure in his abilities and strengths just.... wow. this line is so sokka it makes me lakshfgwky

"say there's no future for us as a pair" "just for this moment / as long as your mine"

this is less to do with the ship itself but moreso with the fandom ab the ship. lots of people dont like this ship (and thats fine! not every ship is for everyone) and they think that it wouldnt work out and while i personally disagree i think this line is good for pointing that out. because ppl think it would never work and that its doomed and maybe since sokka and azula are both geniuses they recognize that their relationship may look that way to other people too. they arent dumb. theyd know how people would look at them as a couple and theyd realize that hey maybe this wont work, but i dont care because right now im with you anyways: sokkla core

and finally, the most iconic line in this entire show, literally where the title comes from

"for the first time, im feeling, wicked"

im sorry but azula would def say something like this. ugh i have so many emotions about this show and this ship and i love this musical and i rlly love this ship. wicked sokkla au anyone? goddammit im adding it to my list of fic ideas rn. sokkla wicked au is something i desperately need right now. zuko nessarose? suki glinda? morally grey aang wizard?? somehow katara fits into this?? idk i became inspired by writing this post to actually think about a sokkla wicked au. ill get back to this one day. maybe. idk. yeah.

ALSO YES FIRST DATE/LAST NIGHT IS SO ZUTARA

like the vibes???

bad first impressions, he made her cry because he was an ass, she gave him a second chance, extremelt awkward first date??? TELL ME that isnt how a zutara relationship would start. tell me. i dare you. also this fucking song is just so cute and well written and beautiful and yeah. first date/last night is fucking zutara to a T

thank you for indulging my theatre kid atla rambles :)))

ask me about why i think these songs go with these ships :)

[transhoverfish]

What are everyone's "abilities" in Survivors? Ryley has good hearing and Milo glows but what do the others have?

!!! YOU HAVE ASKED ME ABOUT MY AU !!! THE FLOODGATES OF YELLING HAVE OPENED!!

OK SO. as u mentioned ryley has good hearing and milo glows. basically,

ryley = good hearing

milo = glowy boy

emily = electric detection (cooler than i describe rn my vocabulary is small)

danby = like emily's but reverse. controls electromagnetic things

roman = night vision

jochi = the most superpower like one, he got quick regeneration.

avery = telepathy!

bart = also kind of telepathy but more like future telepathy. he has future vision.

and i. never thought of one for ozzy actually and at this point i have no idea what to give them that wouldn't have been brought up prior so. u know genetics are weird! they just dont have anything ig. nobody look at me LABDKABDLABD

AND ALSO paul and marg have powers! paul got that peeper enzyme carrier thing, and marg got the very funny power of feeling others emotions. yes that includes the fish. yes this is one of the primary reasons she didnt kill paul over a decade of dealing w him. yes she hates it.

and the vesper haven't been sick long enough to develop anything! or at least thats what im going with bc i havent thought of anything for them yet 😔

AND NOW: LONGER EXPLANATIONS. IM GONNA GET CARRIED AWAY SO ITS UNDER A READ-MORE.

first off on the list: bart! so bart.. kinda has futuristic visions?? but the things he sees are not set in the stone,, as in if he dreams about smth (a lot like ryley can!) it is possible to change those events! most of these visions/telepathy type stuff were bc of the emperor and warpers, and also al-an! once the sea emp died and the warpers all calmed down his powers kind of go away a bit. i think i wrote al-an sort of mentioning it in one chap of awa?? but its only kind of implied. so he has rlly similar powers to avery except he can't tell what others are thinking and he can only kind of tell how his closest friends r feeling. so right now bart pretty much doesn't have powers! he can communicate w the warpers and sea emps much easier than the others tho (he's the only one that can talk to warpers! im not sure he'd get along w them after being hunted down by them for like 12 years though KABDLSBRLSHD)

avery has telepathy! this is because when he first shows up he jokes about having telepathy and i was like "haha. WAIT." and then he got telepathy! i realize its a bad idea to not come up with their powers until as im writing but uhhh well. i never said i was a fantastic writer who's smart. KANROSHROSBF.

he also kind of had marg's empathy ability but wayyy dialed back. he can only tell how other humans are feeling and he can only vaguely understand it as opposed to feeling the emotions himself like marg does. so he can kind of tell how others are feeling and he can tell what theyre thinking about! unless of course for plot convince he can't. strong emotions, especially strong negative emotions (ie. fear) can overwhelm him and makes his powers stop working. and if someone is convinced they're right then he wont b able to tell they're lying/hiding something! yay plot convenience!!

roman has night vision. i have no way of making this sound cool he just straight up can see really well in the dark. like a cat. most of the powers were based off where they originally landed and what would help them in that area! and roman landed in the sparse reef, which is so dark all the time i cry thinking about it. so he has night vision! his poor eyesight is probably all kinds of fucked up now tho.

jochi has regeneration abilities! now i know this might sound a bit much but he just heals from cuts and stuff faster and like. he bones heal fast. and he's more likely to survive smth that might usually kill someone, but its like a 10% higher chance of living nothing too much. he doesn't rlly get scars as much as the others, and its healed his old ones a bit more! this is by far the most unrealistic power of them all, but ya know its alien fish planet game who cares. basically bc his life support systems failed his spine got all fucked up and he got infected faster bc he was barely alive for the first few days and spent a lot of time w bart who was looking after him. power helped fix his back, but he still has a rlly bad limp and pretty much constant pain. big mood there khasar 😔✊

emily can detect electromagnetic waves! works best underwater. kind of like ryley's, but instead of hearing noises she can only hear anything electric, like vehicles or ampeels or heartbeats. gets all fucked up during thunderstorms though sadly. she's the only other one that can kind of hear warpers and can tell when ones about to warp around but she cant actually talk back to them. pretty sick if u ask me tho.

danby has p similar powers to her bc ampeels also spawn in the bulb zone. except he can sense them at a much smaller distance, cant hear warpers, and can control the waves around him! mostly just his own tho. so like, he can quiet his heartbeat or make it stop all together. scary power that he does not know how to control. uh oh. but he can also control other creatures a bit! he's very good at hiding bc of this, which is nice bc he loves to hide from scary things. very big mood once again.

milo is glowing powers! looks a lot like the transparency of a ghost levi or a crabsquid, although he isn't as see through as them. you can def make out like veins but not bones or organs. his powers are activated by touch, the more force behind will create more glow and more transparency! a poke = goes away within a few seconds, a slap = stays for a minute or so. instead of bruises, he just glows until the bruise would normally go away. he's basically a living glowstick. i have another joke for this but i cannot physically convince myself to type it bc its some shit emily would say to him and i cannot embarrass him like that LABDLABDKABAKD

andd ryley's super hearing! can hear basically everything within a mile radius at all times. im bad at math and i don't know the metric system but i think that's like around 1k meters. wait does the metric system use mile already. no. ONCE AGAIN NEVER SAID I WAS SMART.

OK ANYWAYS back on track! this means he can hear about half of the crater at all times. he's gotten p good at blocking out background noise and anything far away. typically only hears everything within like 300 meters of himself. so when he does get back to just hearing everything its like. u ever take out headphones in a busy place and everything kinda hurts for a few seconds bc its so much noise. yeah like that but 500x worse. he's able to concentrate on specific areas within this 1 mile field but if its far away it fucks him up good for a lil while. sorry ryley :(

and then the other two degasi! as mentioned before, paul can carry enzyme like the peepers, but he also can kind of make some himself! only small amounts and it works a bit less than the peeper enzyme does. he does not have to cough it up though thankfully it just like. idk how to describe this idea it can just kind of leave through his skin?? he has like no control over his power at all it just kind does its own thing and he deals w it. this is primarily how he and marg survive for so long w/o dying to kharra!

and finally marguerit! highly empathetic abilities that allow her to feel the emotions of anything around her! i thought it would be funny as hell to give MARGUERIT of all ppl Big Emotion Disease. this is a big reason why she has had yet to murder paul and why she's a lot less murderer like in the au. its hard to kill someone if you. you know. can feel exactly what they are. probably the reason she adopted Dog Bart/Legally Preston Emotionally Not. saw sad puppy and felt too bad to leave him. like paul, she has basically no control over it and is one of the reasons she does NOT want to go back to the survivors base and be around so many other ppl, she'd be feeling like, 13 ppl's emotions at one time. all these powers have fucked up drawbacks dont they??

once again sam, robin, jeff, maxim, and ozzy are (for now at least) not gonna have any powers! mutations are weird and ozzy just didn't get anything, and the vesper haven't been sick long enough for any yet!

OK THATS ALL. HOLY SHIT SORRY FOR YELLING FOR 15 MINUTES. GOT CARRIED AWAY. hopefully that explains everything tho OABEOABROANRJS OK BYE MY PHONE IS ALMOST DEAD

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 1 - "I know the game will pick up eventually" ~Shaad

chile lemme not get thrown out for making all these stan twitter bitch references I'M LICHERALLY HARMLESS I DON'T MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY DKJFHASJKLDG

~

ngl tho i'm kinda shitting myself over these challenges bc i don't wanna get tossed on the first round JKAHFSJKDGHJ my ant eye et tea is through the ROOF

~

oh girl, first impressions? ngl, the gays and girls here seem quite lovely, hopefully they won't have to carry me the entire time LMAO

Okay like the only person I like/talked to is Jodi but she seems like a smart cookie so ima sleep with one eye open. But idk I'm ready to put on my fake ass smile and my fake ass kind words and get through this part. It's interesting with 6 people per tribe like if we lose I don't have that solid "core" yet but theres a chance that it would be me, jodi, amy because we were the first three on and active so idk. the immunity challenge is cool, the hunt challenge is cool too. im not good at timed puzzles, so I don't think I'm gonna go for it but a part of me feels like everyone across the tribes isnt gonna do it becsuse theyre scared so thats a good opportunity to sneak in and play with less people against me? idk idk idk ahhh

🎶Oh my god we're back again🎶 Hey peeps!! :DDD Here I am againnnn, how fun! Tbh I forgot this was today lowkey and Dylan reminded me and I was like oop 😳 also I am so sorry to everyone that I cannot help but sprinkle the fact that we are now dating in all of my first convos bc IM VERY GAY apologies✨ for how often I'm mentioning it I mean �� My tribemates seems so cool, Jennifer and Babs are newbies but seem up to the challenge, Jay A and Colin already giving off immaculate vibes✨ Me and Dyl are hosting Ingary in a month and I do have like work and everything so I don't know exaclty how active I'll be in this game/ how far I'll make it but we'll see won't we!!

not me being a leader of whateva

~

it's the lack of reading comprehension for me (that was shade directed towards myself)

In the fools tribe !!! Moth is in my tribe which is good because we have played together before. The immunity challenge is divide and conquer! So I believe I will be doing the endurance one. I think I’ll be okay... and the hunt announcement is a good twist !!! I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the first one.. but I’ll probably change my mind. ANYWAYS, I’m ready to kick some ass 

Hey guys it's me Brayden and I am so here. I'm so excited to be playing again and stuff and I have already predicted the future that I'll be the winner. Anyways I was at an award ceremony for like the first 3 hours of the game which is kind of scary bc I feel like I missed alot but I'm trying to talk to people and stuff and see what's going on. I've briefly talked to Jodi, Amy, and Ginnifer (who is so hard to talk to btw I like send her messages trying to start a real conversation and she will just respond being like same or something). Anyways the other 2 people on my tribe are offline rn so ig I missed my chance to talk to them tonight so I'll do that tomorrow. Anyways I signed up to do counting and I'm so excited bc I literally KILLED the counting challenge on Kyoshi Islands so I'm so excited to hopefully kill it again. I also decided to play the hunt challenge even though I only have 3 chances bc I'm hoping alot of people will be scared to use one of their three chances to play in the first round and I can have a better chance of winning it. But I think I'm bad at puzzles. I didn't think it through that hard I think I got excited to play a challenge but whatever I'll probably win the advantage then in a few weeks win the whole game anyways see u later.

SO its the morning after the premiere!! Everyone's settled in!! and I kinda don't know how to feel?? Overall the premiere was kinda quiet, nothing happened worth noting tbh. Everyone on the tribe showed up, so thats good, but i think we're all just feeling each other out at the moment as for the people on my tribe! everyone seems chill but also i can't put my finger on it but SOMEHOW this tribe radiates chaotic energy. I don't know HOW or WHY but I just know it DOES. The way we're interacting in the tribe chat it seems like there's a very wide range of personalities and vibes. They're either gonna complement each other or clash, and I guess we're just gonna have to wait to find out which one!!! here are my quick night 1 first impressions that no one asked for :) Anastasia - she showed up kinda late bc she had life happening, understandable. BUT she kinda just jumped right in and started vibing with everyone!! so I think she's gonna be a strong social player. I talked to her and she seems really funny, I think I might really get close with her if I'm able to talk to her more Babs - IF our tribe does end up being chaotic, it's going to be because of Babs. They're definitely the most talkative and prominent person on the tribe, but I think they might come off as messy to others. they're really funny though!! so again I can see myself wanting to work with them if I can get to know them more. They are the biggest question mark on the tribe for me currently Elle - AH. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. Within minutes of us talking they mentioned Dylan and then I found out that they're DATING and I was SCREECHING. cutest shit i've ever heard. I'm so excited to meet and play with them. Dylan is one of my fave people in the org community so ofc I wanna get to know Elle and connect with them as well!! Jay - I think Jay seems like just a very genuine open person?? Like we talked for quite a while yesterday just about games and he was asking me questions about my experience with them and all that. idk if it's because he sees me as a threat or if its because he just actually wanted to get to know me. He lowkey gives me heterosexual vibes and idk if thats true or not but idk how to bring it up. but I def wanna keep talking to him and getting to know him!! I think he might be someone I can form a genuine friendship with Jennifer - kinda have no opinion so far. I think shes the quietest on the tribe. at least for me I didn't get the chance to hear from her much. kinda gives catfish vibes. kinda gives early boot vibes. idk. we'll see what happens!

Not too much yet tbh. Just finding my footing. People are loving my energy so hopefully they’ll keep me around

So i realized Amy is runner up from the season before mine in another org and so we connected over that... of course we are not going to tell anyone else but we did have that going for us to get started. brayden is only 16 but he told me he loves magic and wanted to learn more about it so i told him id teach him some stuff! dennis and i called and connected well BUT hes kinda playing SUPER hard and wanting to throw challenges already to vote people out.. this has never worked out for anybody!! josh is cool, he works at a grocery store so he's gonna kill the "b" challenge. ginnifer has been the most MIA but i have faith that we'll work together well for the popularity contest. yall know i cant play the reverse flirt game i so badly want to coin, but i do have romance tea for yall tomorrow. stay tuned........

Jay and I talked last night so i guess we're best friends. We decided to make an alliance and try to get Elle in it. But everyone has been pretty inactive besides Jay and Collin. I've only slightly talked to Jessica this whole game and Babs hasn't even said one thing to me and I texted them hi. And apperently Babs has left Jay on opened too so they might just suck at talking right now. Hopefully Babs will talk to me they seem so funny and cool D:

I won endurance 👑!!!! Hopefully the fools tribe wins this!!!! I played against Jennifer and Dennis. I could see myself playing with Dennis down the line if we merge. I haven’t talked to anyone but Moth. So I messaged my whole tribe Introducing myself. Hopefully things work out for me! 

Thoughts after the first 24hrs: https://youtu.be/I62bDSzgf68

You hear something ??? Same. Why is my tribe so quiet 😂😂😂😂 I’m trying to read off the vibes but I see nothing. 

I really love my tribe and the fact that they don’t know I played last season is a good strategy to play on my end

tbh i wish we lost i wanted to go to tribal and vote one of these people out :(

Welp we got second place in the first challenge :| which isn't bad!! But it's not first place 😂😂. But I had a fun day taking pictures so whateverssss. I said I would be chaotic in this game but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet... Guess we'll have to wait and see✨

I think at this point, my team is shady and won't say anything to me so I am nervous.

The challenges were way harder than I thought. I didn't do well at all and let my tribe down. I feel like I will be the first to get voted out if we have a tribal hearing.

We lost yay. I had a feeling. Hopefully the tribe will keep me around for now since I won endurance.... lhsisowjshwowpwpwheowowhfiwpqpqpjw. Jared thinks we can vote Bri out. Which I’m fine with, I haven’t really talked to her at all. Jared and I are going to message the others and see where everyone’s head is at. Honestly I don’t care who goes home as long as I’m safe. Everyone is quiet which is so annoying. Blahhhhhhhhhh 

Well it’s my 3rd time playing and it’s not off to the best start, no one seems to be talking to anyone. And we lost meaning we are going to tribal council. So fuck- I have no idea what about to happen. I’m just hoping it’s not me or Jess

if i must confess, my strategy is to have a 4-3-2 alliance. i need a 4 to have a majority, but i dont have a 4 yet. within the 4, theres a three person alliance w me jodi and amy, but within that three i believe that the core 2 is myself and jodi. i really dont care who the 4th is. i like having jodi and amy as an alliance because theyre both doing wayy too much which is great for me :) i dont think any of these people have idols but who knows. i would love to throw the next immunity i wanna go to tribal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we’ve got something good. We’ve got an alliance that’s set to (hopefully) vote out bri due to inactivity. Let’s just pray it works

~

Trying to talk in this tribe is so difficult In both my other seasons I was pretty quiet all the time It is like that x10000 I was hoping to stay under the radar but that doesn’t work if no one talks at all I suppose it depends on if I’m being played or if everyone just doesn’t talk. I think there’s a plan. Let’s hope it goes well 

OKAY SO. Moth, Jared and I have a little alliance going on. We are set on voting out Bri. I just talked to Danny and Shaad and they are down with voting Bri out. I have high hopes that I’ll be safe at tribal. 

Better communication.. in sticking with that fact, our communication in my team could be better and we need to put more effort into what we do, I believe in us!

https://youtu.be/595h7hmL6VY

The start to this game has been a freaking snails pace...it’s unbelievable to me that these people do not want to talk that much, especially when it’s a tribe of 6. Colin and I talk the most, I’ve gotten a decent amount out of Anastasia, and to me it feels like those 2 wants to work with me and I am fine with working with them. Usually in a larger group you want to figure out who you can work with long term and use the first few tribals to establish trust, I may throw that out the window since there’s only 5 other people on this tribe. My strategy needs to be who the hell can get me past these first few votes before a swap happens, and I feel like I can rely on Colin and Anastasia for that. I’d like to pull in Elle, because she’s the one who’s talked to me the most out of her, Babs, and Jennifer. Everyone seems nice, but it would be lovely if people would be more active. 

I’m enjoying the fact our tribe won the first challenge everyone is very nice I love it :)

This round has been pretty smooth sailing. I know the game will pick up eventually but for now, we are just going with the flow as a tribe

https://youtu.be/UZVzZ6d6GRU

~

ok so apparently ginnifer isn't famous. she's just a bit quiet and mysterious. ok with me, just gonna take a while because I'm a loud and outspoken person (and player). amy, dennis and I have an alliance called "fang gang" (it's really just 3 emojis of vampires) and we're going to run the premerge hopefully. I do like brayden a lot, and maybe I'll propose a 3 with him, amy and myself to have a solid 4 control the votes until a swap. round 1 not bad so far!

~~~

Edgics:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: I believe Jodi is thriving on this tribe. She is very obviously a social player who picks up on the littlest details. I’m sure she can sniff out a plot if it comes down to it. However, Jodi is the plot. She is the leader of her tribe and is easily the most active person in the game at the moment. So long as she keeps a smile on her face and doesn’t overextend to do something messy, she will find that she will make it safely to merge. Allying with Amy could be dangerous however since Amy has stated she needs to be voted out before a certain date. This means that Jodi needs to socialize with other members of her tribe and get new allies before hers will inevitably be voted out of the game.

Amy: Even though she wants to get voted out, Amy has set herself up perfectly at Jodi’s side. She can take the heat off of herself using Jodi and is able to hide better than others. As always, her UTR game has come out to shine. She hasn’t had anyone call her out and even though Jodi has seen her play she is still able to gain her trust.

Josh: Doing so well in the challenge has earned Josh’s place here. He makes his worth known early and has a great personality as well. This makes him very safe for any early tribal councils as no one is going to want to take him out; they want him on their side. Similar to Amy, he just seems to be using an under the radar social game which he is executing well at the present moment. And, as the star of the challenge, he makes himself safe for future tribals before the swap. However, I do fear that this early impression of competition prowess will come back to haunt him if he makes it to the merge.

Dennis: I would put Dennis higher, but Jodi, his ally, already is suspicious of him. She seems to think of him as a bit of a sneak and, as the tribe leader, her opinions matter the most. It is good that he is able to be Jodi’s ally so she might stray away from voting him out. However, his desire to go to tribal and play the game so early may bite him in the butt later down the line. I can definitely see him being called out for trying to play too hard too fast. At the moment, he remains high because he seems to be decently social and no one except Jodi has sniffed him out.

Brayden: There’s not much to say on Brayden’s game. He doesn’t seem to have any allies, his challenge performance wasn’t as good as others on his tribe, and he is not in any alliances yet. This spells disaster for Brayden if his tribe goes to consecutive tribal councils. Additionally, even though he was one of the few to play in the Hunt, he didn’t win and wasn’t even close to doing so. He even gave up part way through to do the immunity challenge. I would be saving them if I were Brayden, but hindsight is 20/20. If Brayden can squeeze into being the fourth of the Jodi, Amy, Dennis alliance instead of Josh then maybe his game forecast will be better.

Ginnifer: The thing that lands Ginnifer on the bottom is that she said that her tribe could vote her out if they lost the challenge. This primes people to already be willing to get rid of her in this game. Additionally, some people have expressed difficulty with talking to Ginny such as Jodi and Amy. The former still wants to give Ginny a try at being an ally while the latter was ready to vote her out if necessary. Ginny just needs to pick up social steam and outperform in the next comp if she’s going to have longevity in this game.

Fools

Jessica: In lieu of a clear leader, Jessica has stepped up as she started the first alliance on her tribe with Moth and Jared. No doubt, Jessica’s prior relationship with Moth helped facilitate. Additionally, this seems to paint them as the “active” members of this not active tribe. Therefore, it will be very easy for Jessica to dictate votes without getting labelled as a threat since her tribe is not active enough to do so. I can definitely see her leaning on Moth as a crutch, but for now she is the topdog of her tribe. Especially so since she was the only member of her tribe to win a challenge in Divide and Conquer.

Moth: As Jessica’s right-hand person, Moth is a secure spot. It also helped that they have played this game before and is on a not active tribe. This vibes well with Moth’s gameplay style since they aren’t a social powerhouse like Jodi or Colin. Instead, she keeps it more lowkey which makes this tribe in particular a great tribe for her to thrive in.

Jared: While he hasn’t provided a confessional yet, it’s clear he’s positioned himself well with Moth and Jessica. As the topdogs of the tribe, they are key people to get in with. Besides that, he seems to be a little more active than some others, but there’s not much else to say as of right now.

Danny/Shaad: Him and Shaad can trade spots on this ranking because they are playing similar games at the moment. They are both quiet and inactive, yet are not part of the core alliance of this tribe. This could spell danger for them in upcoming tribal councils if they don’t start working on people now. They seem to be safe for now based solely on Bri’s inactivity, but, otherwise, they need to pick up their socio-strategic game before it is too late.

Bri: She seems to be the most likely person to get voted out. She was not online at all for the first two days of the game and has since remained inactive. She is easy pickings for the top 3 of this tribe which really hurts my heart. I know her in real life and she is very sociable and easy to get along with. I have no doubt that in a real life game of Survivor or Big Brother, she would kill the social game.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: Similar to Jodi, Colin is the most social person on his tribe at the moment. However, unlike Jodi, he has not taken a leader position which works to his benefit. Despite being social, Colin has been able to slip under the radar of most people with a lot of them wanting to work with him. Colin is easily going to survive until the swap, but I will caution him from getting too many allies too quickly. This tribe in particular has a wildcard willing to blow things like that up so he needs to be careful.

Elle: Similar to her previous games, Elle plays an extraordinary social game and becomes very well-liked very easily. They have no problem fitting into any situation and I foresee them making it far if they gain the right allies. What puts her at number 2 as opposed to number 1 is that she hasn’t made any strategic comments yet. Instead, she is focusing on a social game which is not a bad thing. Colin has just shown more of his gameplay in these rounds.

Anastasia: Anastasia, despite being late to the premiere, has been able to socialize with key people such as Colin and Jay. Her prior connection with Elle has also sparked an interest in Colin in working with the two of them as an alliance. Overall, her and Elle sort of share the 2 and 3 spot since they are both well-liked, did well in the challenge, and are prime allies for Colin whose word will feel like law if this tribe ever goes to tribal.

Jay: Jay is neither here nor there. He isn’t in the bottom, but he is not calling the shots either. It is good that Colin wants him as his number 1 and that Anastasia likes him. Out of the three outside of this potential Elle, Colin, Anastasia alliance, he seems like he will be most likely to be saved until a swap occurs. His calls with people have certainly been helping with that as people are able to bond more with him through there. His activity could use work, but he doesn’t need to be active if he’s liked.

Babs: With another Jodi comparison, Babs has taken the leadership position of their tribe. However, they are not as social and, in fact, considered a big threat since they are so willing to talk freely and openly in the tribe chat. Their gameplay is going to be Messy, and people have already pointed that out, making them a clear target if this tribe goes to tribal council. Despite that, they aren’t at the bottom since some people, like Colin, have expressed interest in working with that kind of player as a sort of shield. If Babs were to tone it down and be more social with people (another problem with their game), they may be able to crawl up these rankings.

Jennifer: Sadly I have to put another phonetic Jennifer at the bottom. She did the worst in the challenge across her tribe and isn’t active either. For this round, it seems she would be the easy vote if this tribe had gone to tribal. She needs to start being more social and be more of a presence in people’s minds.

[jewishtommycoolatta]

what're you hoping will happen in HL2VRAI? (if you are hoping for hl2vrai)

while i would LOVE an hlvrai sequel i dont know is hl2 would be like. the best idk vehicle for it? considering the established characters and the difference btwn hl1 and hl2 but i would def still enjoy it i dont know as much abt hl2 as i would like to (im planning on playing it in the future after i finish black mesa, rn im watching a friend stream it though) but i would assume like hlvrai it follows at least a SEMBLANCE of the story, at the very least the idea of the beginning scene where gordon is taken off the train by barney being turned into a scene like hlvrai act 1 scene where benrey appears in the chamber with just. this combine officer takes off his helmet and its benrey would be so fucking funny. also lamarr should just be sunkist in a headcrab costume. i do not care if that doesn’t work i need it in my life

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

HIStory’s ranked (no one asked, but here i go)

so i was sittin here, talkin to myself about the HIStory series’ and was like ‘hey, i should rank them’ (which i’ve seen a few other people do, but mines a lot more rambling than there’s because i can’t shut up lol) 

so here’s my views lol (ordered from worst to best, imo):

6) My Hero (HIStory1) -

probably universally acknowledged as the worst episode, and i’d be inclined to agree with the masses on this lol... not only is the tone and humour of this series so weird and disjointed, but the entire story line literally makes no sense lol?? it’s unclear who the audience should be rooting for (especially as it goes out of it’s way to paint our protagonist as really unlikable lol, not to mention the love interest is the dullest character ever conceived like ???), as well as this the ending feels completely unrelated and bizarre... 

i think this concept /could/ have worked if the guy the woman was inhabiting (which sounds weird without context, but like she’s dead lol) was somehow also inside his head? or if she got to see his memories or whatever & tries to adjust her personality to match the guy’s, causing love interest!dude to fall in love with the guy... (like i could go into more detail, i basically hav an entire au written in my head lol, but yh...)... that way, her letting go of him in the end would feel so much more well set up? especially if she was generally more understanding and likeable.. 

i think overall this series just fails in telling a decent story lol... & the cringe is even beyond what i can handle lol

5) Obsessed (HIStory1) -

people might be surprised to see this one so low down, especially since i know a lot of people really love this series (& if u do, no hate to u btw, ur allowed to like whatever u want idc), but i realllllly don’t like this series... like at all ...

the plot is weird anyway, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but then u add on the really bad couple and it’s just...... bad lol... like everything about their relationship is built on lies and deceit, and even more so than that it’s built on a lack of mutual respect and fundamental trust for each other! tall guy (i don’t know names soz) feigns memory loss in order to get closer to short guy (btw, the scenes with them being domestic were really sweet, & i firmly believe this could have been an alright series for the actors if the story line wasn’t so bad), short guy’s whole existence in that universe was a lie lol (like i know there’s no easy way to tell someone ‘lol well i’m technically from the future’ but still), then there’s the whole resolution at the end & it’s just so ??? frustrating lol!

nothing bugs me more than seeing conflict in relationships (on screen or irl) that could be solved simply by TALKING TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT & isnt lol... my other issue with this series is the fact tall guy 100% forced himself upon short guy in the tent & like we’re just supposed to accept it cos ?? he’s saying no and pushing away but actually he wants it because he loves tall guy ?? like fuck no i’m not accepting that lol! 

basically, bad & bizarre story & characters, & gross tropes just makes this hard for me to watch and enjoy lol... i think, like in my hero, this could’ve done with being a different story altogether lol... (maybe tall guy actually did lose his memory & he falls for short guy all on his own with no predatory intentions?? idk something like that)

4) Right or Wrong (HIStory2)

this one & my number 3 are very much tied tbh, but this one is just slightly lower just because i’m not as big into the couple as i know a lot of people are... & it’s not necessarily the age gap, cos i dont actually mind age gaps in pairings (just as long as the younger one isnt a minor, obv... and also i think any gap that’s 30+ years is a bit weird lol..).. i think my big problem with this is i dont really see why younger guy (again, i have no idea of any of these characters’ names lol) would fall for the older guy? like the older guy is obvs going thru some issues, and hasnt been taking care of himself or his kid properly because of them, but like we dont rly see a lot of why he’s a great guy? like we get the sense young guy is attracted to him, but like love is more than just thinkin they’re hot lol... idk lol this might just be me tbh i just couldnt see why he’d be interested lol

i did like the whole family side though, and showing how a man who was previously with a woman can still end up with a guy (bisexualityyyyy (or some variation of that thereupon)) is something you dont always see in media, so i thought that was pretty cool! (even if the ex-wife thing was kinda lame lol...) 

i think overall i see what this series was going for, and that it actually did an alright job in some parts... the biggest problem is that it’s kinda just forgettable lol... maybe that’s why people like obsessed so much lol? maybe it was a train wreck but ohh boy at least u wont forget it in a hurry lol!

3) Stay Away From Me (HIStory1) -

i’m a bit torn about this one, cos there are parts of it i actually really like (them going from rivals/enemies to being good friends to being more), and other parts i really didnt (the stereotypical squealing yaoi fangirl friend)... & tbh, i kinda wish this had just been a show about the budding friendship between the 2 guys... it almost feels too forced to me that they’re made to ‘fall in love’ when i actually think them both becoming less selfish and learning to respect each other as step brothers & friends is actually already a really great story (& i know that it doesnt fit with the whole ‘HIStory’ thing, but stories of platonic brotherhood/’bromance’ are just as important as gay representation... isnt a /substitute/ for representation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always so beautiful to see decently portrayed non-toxic friendships between guys... ok this is a rant for another day tho shhh)

i think maybe why i like this one more than the other HIStory1′s is because kinda nothing happens lol... it’s not overly complex with weird unexplained magic things happening, it’s just a simple story lol... is it still tropey as hell? of course lol! but i think the ‘realism’ of the world really helps, and i def think this was incorporated more into HIStory 2, which i’m really glad about...

overall, this is a relatively harmless series & is actually quite sweet at times... the kiss is awkward as fuck tho (there, i said it lol...)... it suffers the same forgetability as right or wrong tho... 

2) Crossing the Line (/Boundary Crossing) (HIStory2) -

ok, so here’s a series i 100% love & totally agree with the hype around lol! i hav no interest in volleyball (or any sports tbh), but the way this show handles the friendships and dynamics between the characters is really well done, especially for a series that’s only 8 episodes long! i also really love that none of the characters really fall into any stereotypes (which is a great improvement from HIStory1 i can tell u lol), and are given the space to actually have some growth & nuance at times?! 

(nuance? in MY HIStory series?? it’s more likely than you think!)

the main couple have really amazing chemistry, and the way they get together doesnt feel too out of place or that it’s going to fast, it just sorta flows really nicely... even the side couple are pretty well done (though i wasnt that big into them on my first watch, just cos the whole overbearing older brother thing was kinda annoying... i liked them more as the series went on tho...)

i kinda dont have any major complaints? which is bizarre cos i always hav complaints about things lol... maybe my complaint would be that they all look way too old and attractive to be whatever teenage age they’re supposed to be lol... (but tbh that doesnt take anything away from the story so i’ll forgive them lol...)... i think maybe i wouldnt consider it my favourite because the story line didnt grab me like the number 1... but i really cant fault it in terms of what it delivers lol, legit such a well put together series!

1) Trapped (HIStory3) -

lol i think anyone who’s been following me for the past few months aren’t in the slightest bit surprised this is my number one... i just love it too much lol!

from the incredibly well written and well acted characters, to the interesting and engaging (even if a bit ridiculous) plot, to the beautifully told romance , it really has it all doesn’t it!!! & i think even if this wasnt an enemies to lovers thing (aka one of the most godtier of all fanfic tropes), there’s so many things going for this series that make it worth watching! i have a few complains about editing choices and a few bad trope plot points which were just unnecessary (plus the fact we missed out on a lot of background info on some major characters lol...), but like despite everything this series rly struck a chord with me deep down in my soul lol

i could go waaay more into detail (and maybe i will one day lol... tho not rn, i’m v tired), but the gist of the matter is: i really love trapped lol

(conclusion)

Even though i’ve complained quite a bit here, i am so grateful for the HIStory series’ for bringing really interesting, and a little mad, stories with gay characters and story lines, with a big emphasis on happy endings! there are so many lgbt stories/characters in things that end up dying or just have bad endings, which just sends this horrible message that lgbt people aren’t worthy of having happy endings, which is completely untrue! 

So i look forward to future HIStory’s, even if some of them are gonna be bad (& maybe none will live up to the trapped!shaped bullet firmly lodged in my heart lol)

fin~

[fcnna]

❝ Even if you are a small forest surviving off of moon alone: your light is extraordinary. ❞ MILENA TSCHARNTKE? No, that’s actually FENNA VAN DEN BERG. A SIXTH YEAR student, this HUFFLEPUFF student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE/THEY identifies as GENDERQUEER and is a MUGGLEBORN who is known to be FICKLE, ESCAPIST and DISTANT, but also ARTISTIC, STEADY and INDEPENDENT.

LINKS: stats, pinboard, character tag. CHARACTER PARALLELS: susanna kaysen (girl, interrupted), chidi anagonye (the good place), pam halpert (the office), riley blue (sense8) HELLO gang, so this is a rewrite/repost of my old intro. fenna is now sixteen, not twenty six, and she’s a puff rather than a beauxbatons graduate. some of this will be the same, some will not! yeet!

history

fenna is born to a dutch family in the city of utrecht as the youngest of three. her family is a rich one --- one of the richest, actually. they’re ambitious and cunning and success and reputation are words that fenna is all too familiar with growing up. there is no room for oddities or rebellion or putting a toe out of line and fenna doesn’t mind. they’re good at rules and doing what is expected and falling in line, anyways. it’s safe. it’s easy.

her father has to go abroad for work. a lot. germany, france, belgium, the uk ... he’s more away from home than he’s not. when the company he works for (or, well, partly owns, really) has a great opportunity to become even more global, he drags his family with him to england, where they settle in manchester. it’s an exciting thing, to move across europe when you’re seven, but a sad one, too. fenna says goodbye to all their friends and teachers and weeps in the car and refuses to learn english.

they do learn, eventually. fenna doesn’t have much of a choice, as they attend muggle private school. and once they know their way around the language, they do well in school. unaware of the fact that they’re a wix, there’s a lot of pressure on their shoulders and they work hard, their focus iron-like, their wish to please their parents great. but in moments of stress, their magic shows --- and fenna is scared of it. fenna does not tell their parents, out of fear of disapproval and raised eyebrows, not wanting to admit that this is something real in the first place. in stead, they get the best grades and play the piano and keep their worries locked in their heart. magic isn’t real.

and yet, the truth comes out one day. fenna is a witch, they’re all told, and it’s a shock. they are to go to a school in scotland and study magic there. it’s a shock. it’s like a bomb goes off in their home. but here’s the thing --- their parents didn’t stop loving them. and yet, something did change in the way she was loved, and fenna -- quiet and observant -- noticed it all too well.

because here’s the thing --- when you’re a witch, you can’t go to one of the top universities in the uk and become a doctor or lawyer or politician, you can’t fill the mold that comes with being a van den berg, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t. and that was what life was all about for fenna up until now, and what it is still all about for their family, and suddenly for them, that was over. so things changed. slowly but surely and eventually disastrously ( but we’re not there yet ).

so fenna was off to this boarding school, with their eyes wide open and their heart hammering. from day one, a wedge started growing between them and their family. whether it was disapproval, insecurities or the distance that forced it, no one really knows --- but it was there, from the beginning, and only grew bigger. meanwhile fenna did find themselves at hogwarts, falling in love with magic and the feeling of control they got when spells went right. the pressure was off from her family ---- what did they care if they succeeded in magic? it’d not mean anything in the muggle world. doing well at hogwarts was something fenna did for themselves and yes, that still made them stressed and anxious and the pressure was still there, but it had lessened, changed.

fenna started sending less owls to home. they and their family grew apart more and while that happened, they found something called independence and that it came quite easily to them. fenna learned what living for themselves was. they learned that, damn it, there were no dreams for great successes in law or politics living inside of them. there was a passion for art, though, for all kinds of it. painting especially, was what they fell in love with.

queerphobia tw / after her fifth year, fenna had grown into an independent, but solitary person. their art had become better, their passions grown bigger, their relationship with their parents as fragile as a bomb. fenna spent the summer at home, trying to see what was wrong, what was happening with them and their parents. in the end, they decided that something was just horribly wrong. their parents were no monsters, but they struggled with fenna’s magic, and their wishes to become an artist, with their gender and sexuality, with everything, really. there were fights. there were disagreements. fenna felt terrible, being home, and longed for the end of summer, for a return to hogwarts, for a place to feel at damn home end of tw

it was just hard, with their family. there was never any real confrontational harsh destruction, never a moment of outspoken disapproval or disappointment. everything was kept in the shadows. in their home, there was no room for honesty, and if there was, it was like a bomb exploding, with everything coming out. it was suffocating. fenna couldn’t do it any more.

i do think that this moment during summer break was significant. it was a push for fenna to grow more serious about their passions. they want to go to art school, want to do what they want to do, because they know that they will never be happy doing what their parents want from them. they’re ready for the world, to chase their dreams --- i mean, it’s utterly terrifying, but fenna is finally daring to think about a future in the arts, rather than a future with more stability, one that fit in the image they always had of their own future.

and then they return to hogwarts and the war breaks out. the war is ... well, it’s fucking terrifying, frankly. fenna is no fighter, they know that. they’re no good with dueling or offensive spells. they’re no good in any of this, frankly ---- fenna craves control in everything in their lives and they dont have that with this war, especially as it does target people like them. for now, they are neutral, cowardly hiding in the shadows. they know that there’s things to do, that there should be things she could do, that she should not hide in fear but --- how do you not do that, if that is your instinct? 

personality & ramblings

meet fenna --- your local tortured artist! sad pal, with a good heart but a lot of insecurities and doubts clouding it. i’m going to try and just summarise their general personality here!!

fenna is first and foremost independent. they don’t rely on anyone but themselves, and like it that way. they don’t feel independent, they feel absolutely bloody lost, but they are. this partly comes from the fact that they like to feel in control and at this point, they do hold a lot of the reigns when it comes to stuff in her life? they also rly like things that are logical because of this, like maths and arithmancy and potions

fenna is ... both incredibly emotional and completely rigid? in their private time, they cry and rage easily, but to the outside world they’re definitely quite composed and rigid. fenna is good at pretense and masks and not showing all that is going on.

as a friend, they’re nurturing and kind and always down for a spontaneous night of shenanigans. doesn’t like DANGER but does like shenanigans.

idk i can go on for forever theyre such a mess

nsfw / fenna’s genderqueer/femme. they use both she/her and they/them pronouns --- it depends on how they’re feeling, but also who they’re with, tbh. they’re pansexual/panromantic and very easy when it comes to sex. puts the ho in art ho! nah but for real they sleep around and they don’t think much of it at all tbh, sex is fun and it relaxes her and it’s a good time for everyone involved / end

oof such a romantic, deep down. just aesthetic wise for sure, but also ... fenna does love like, jane austen and the bronte sisters and old romance novels and shitty romcoms and ahhhh. does believe in true love but ? have they given it a shot? really? not rly. too afraid of it.

also, def has some stereotypical muggleborn stuff going on. never used quills, thinks the wizarding world is a mess always, etc. they also love muggle culture in general and is addicted to netflix tbh. VERY MAD ABOUT THE PHONE BAN! they miss pinterest and netflix big time.

depression & anxiety tw / fenna is depressed & has general anxiety disorder. both are undiagnosed at the moment, as they don’t really . understand that something might be going on, or rather are in denial about it. i mean, to a certain extent they know that something’s not right, but they don’t want to take any steps to find help, because they downplay it Big Time in their mind. the war is definitely contributing to all this. end of tw.

honestly they just want to move the fuck away from this war, either back to the netherlands. they dont! like! this! war.

i could see them joining the MA, somewhere along the line? but rn fenna just. likes sitting in their corner. escaping from this shitty reality. smoking some pot. painting some shit. ignoring the reality of the world. 

ALSO I RLY STRUGGLED W THEIR HOUSE BC LIKE FENNA WOULD DO SO WELL IN RAVENCLAW BUT! I THINK THEY WORK WELL AS A PUFF BC IF YOURE THEIR FRIEND THEY ARE SO LOYAL! AND THEY DONT MIND HARD WORK when its GOOD work and also theyre just. a nice person. 

[shyheadbanger]

im not happy abt that ending

this is just a vent post so sorry if it accidentally ends up in the tags for a certain character & ship that im trying to censor out

if you liked the ending hey good for you have fun with that im glad you did. there are a lot of things i genuinely enjoyed about endgame but i just wanted to write out my negative feelings about that ending bc while the way thors character was treated genuinely made me upset this is what i feel most comfortable talking about on my blog

beware: endgame spoilers!!!

i wanna start by saying i actually love p*ggy c*rter so much & i like st*ggy in some circumstances but rn the ship upsets me bc it just reminds me of that ending. like i feel kinda similar to before aou where i genuinely liked br*cen4t until the movie cam out, then i hated the ship, but im back to liking it in some circumstances but def ignoring canon decisions bc they were Not Good. i know i probably will end up being ok with st*ggy again but for now its in my serious NOTP area bc just thinking about it makes me upset

ok so im not happy with steve going back to live his life with p*ggy it feels so wrong esp since hes erasing the life she had after she had very much moved on. it feels like she has no agency in whether or not she gets to decide her future bc it seems like steve decides for her & therefore decides for her whole family. whole people have now never been born & honestly it makes the st*ron kiss in cacw so much worse bc steve has now made out with his own niece. like we dont see him truly grieving for the friends he lost in iw but for some reason hes super hung up on p*ggy now.

it also gives two potential alternatives to steves character, neither of which im a fan of tbh:

he does very little to change the past to ensure the future. i am not a fan of this bc it means that steve rogers sat idly by while hydra was growing inside of shield & while bucky was being actively tortured let alone having him try to stop other issues. it feels like a giant “fuck you” to the same guy who says “if i see a situation pointed south i cant ignore it” & “i dont like bullies. i dont care where theyre from.” that steve rogers could NEVER sit idly by while all that shit is going down. in cacw, we see bucky actively struggling with his self worth & he tells steve that “[he doesnt know if he’s] worth all this”, whether it be steves time, his care, whatever & then steve goes & proves him right by leaving him. even though ill admit im more of a stucky shipper, it doesnt matter how you see steve & buckys relationship, if he even slightly cared about bucky & even just looking at the fact that if this is the true path then he actively chose to do nothing with regards to his torture. im sorry but if this is who the writers claim he is then he should not be worthy of mjolnir or even p*ggy’s love bc that would say a whole lot about his character & i truly dont believe she could love a man who would do that to supposedly his best friend. this would not be steve rogers.

he actively changes things in accordance to what we know his character to be. he saves bucky, stops hydra, who knows what else, certainly not us. this means that even through all those changes the timeline would branch so little that it would let him come back to that timeline, which means that hydra are the most pathetic villain organization to exist because for everything hydra tried to do there was so little impact on the world. this undermines hydras use narratively as villains and also devalues buckys suffering and p*ggy’s achievements in the original timeline. it basically means that these powerful & important characters & everything they do is pretty much meaningless & has no impact or value. fuck that too.

honestly i have no conclusion for this post im just pretty unhappy with this characterization. honestly aside from the implications of the st*ggy relationship in the movie i loved steves character. ill admit i mostly had a lot of fun. maybe another day ill post about what bothers me about thors character but tbh thats really super personal for me & not just me being upset about canon so idk

[rosefromc0ncret3]

there is always so much that has happened in my life every time I find myself on here again. I am currently feeling super overwhelmed with life and hoping the best for everything. today, I felt like I finally released all these emotions I have been feeling these past few months. I was so go go go that I was not able to properly feel these emotions. and I feel like I reached a breaking point today where I felt like I didn't know what to do. I am so tired of feeling this uncertainty with so many things all at the same time. I wish I didn't have this feeling. and its moments like this where I still wish I had my therapist to talk to. although she would tell me that im worrying about things that haven't happened yet. but it's so hard not to constantly think about whats next. I am so hoping for things to fall into place and im trying to trust in divine timing. but I hate the feeling of not knowing whats next. I want to cry but I feel like no tears are coming out. I have so much to be grateful for still but mentally im anxiously biting my fingernails. its been hard for me to sleep too. my thoughts always keep me up at night. I also know everyone around me is going thru their own things and I hate to burden people with my shit. especially when they're dealing with their own situations. during these moments where I do feel super down, im always torn between processing it on my own or reaching out to someone. I feel like I just keep it to myself until im properly able to say shit out loud. which I guess isn't bad at all. plus too much outside noise just fucks with me even more sometimes so yeah maybe its best I just do this for now and just word vomit. everythingoes just played on shuffle rn and I think its a message from the universe. I know this feeling isn't permanent, but god does it feel like shit when ur experiencing it. school is right around the corner and its my second year of my graduate program and im excited, yet nervous. I hope im able to juggle everything working back in person and also doing schoolwork/attending classes and taking care of things at home, like my mom. I hope im able to balance everything and still make time for myself. I know im doing everything that I can now in order to build the future I want for myself and ive def juggled many things in the past before but ah. growing pains are so hard. its like im always experiencing something new that I was not ready or prepared for. but I guess thats what happens when you grow up and thats part of the process. I just hope im doing everything right lol. its crazy that I preach so much individual decision making and self empowerment to my kids and on the inside its like im just as lost as them. I mean I guess that makes me relatable. sigh. I am so hoping that things work out and fall into place. so many things that are on my mind right now and its like I dont even know how to express it. its like I come here when I dont know what else to say or do. which I mean isn't a horrible alternative really. at least im doing something with whats on my mind. I am hoping that I’ll be okay. I am hoping to gain inner peace for myself and my loved ones. magic shop is playing, another message from the universe. I hope I can continue to be there for myself so I can be there for others. sigh. sometimes, i feel like when things start looking up, is when I feel like there's another curveball. stay being kept on my toes lol. and again, even though there's a lot of things that have worked out and stuff that I was worried about I no longer have to, its like idk what to do when another thing pops up in front of me. im being rly general rn but I feel like im just hella thinking out loud. my body feels tense and I feel extremely nervous for a lot. I was hoping to feel less tense coming here. its kinda helping. I know I need to let my feelings out somehow. and just make sure that whats going on in my head is just expressed in any way. eeee I am so afraid but im trying not to let the feeling of fear keep me from doing shit. but I know its normal to feel this way and I shouldn't suppress them or ignore them. I know I should just let them be right now and let it ride. telling myself that I will be okay. telling myself that my family, especially my mom, will be okay. telling myself that my friends and loved ones will be okay. reminding myself that all circumstances are temporary and I deserve the things that I want in this life. I am claiming that I will be okay. I claim abundance, happiness, financial stability, stability in general, and overall light. I am so in need of the energy from all my crystals and keeping them close to my heart as I type this all out. trusting in the universe and what it has in store for me and just trusting that things will be okay and will work things out. I am calm. I am peace. I am light. I will be okay. I am okay. I am safe. I am love. I am abundant. deep breath in. deep breath out. 

[ottergf]

1-20 for the lesbian asks

ty aubren ilysm!!!!!!

1.Femme or butch? 

neither!!

2. Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

i dont really have a type tbh?? though i guess i find myself more attracted to girls big personalities and who are easy conversationalists/make an effort to keep up the conversation

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

god both..... lmao for style i like leather jackets but for comfort the plaid....

4. Describe your style

i wear really any combination of leggings/jeans with a tshirt and a jacket

5. Describe your aesthetic

early summer vibes, driving down an empty highway at night w the windows down, impromptu dance parties with friends

6. Favorite article of clothing?

my red leather jacket but its falling apart and idk where to get another one for cheap CRY

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

i had these really cute navy blue ankle boots w floral embroidery but I CANT FIND THEM im so mad

8. Current haircut?

just like... shoulder length brown hair lmao

9. Any haircut goals for the future?

for a while i wanted to work up the nerve to shave my head lol but after i got a side shave a few years back and saw how much of a pain in the ass it was to grow it out i dont think i will 

10. Describe the best date you’ve been on

tbh my rabb.it dates with lj are so much fun i love flirting and watching movies in the comfort of my own home skfhdghs

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

dkjfgljh i went on this one date in the beginning of the school year and it was so awkward bc i had to carry the whole damn conversation bc she wouldnt say ANYTHING she just like stared at me and it was really uncomfortable and when ppl dont do their part to carry a convo thats like... a huge pet peeve for me lmao

12. Single? Taken?

taken!!!! 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

lj is the sweetest, most caring person i’ve ever known. shes so easy to talk to and laugh with and i seriously think we could talk for hours and hours on end like when we do our phone calls minutes and hours go by so quickly lol. shes honest and tough and capable even tho i dont think she gives herself enough credit for what she puts up with and shes so fucking smart she amazes me every single day

14. If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

not single! ;)

15. Describe your dream wedding

i want a rly small wedding tbh, but i know realistically small weddings are hard to do lmao. really my only requirement for what i want our wedding to look like is 1) for it to be outside and 2) i get most of the say in flower arrangements lmao (my dream is to like... make all the flower arrangements myself but i know i wont have time for that pfft)

16. Do you want kids?

ok ill be 100% honest the idea of having kids rn or in the next like... 5-10 ish years scares me to no end but i absolutely want to adopt or become a foster parent sometime in the future

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

ive always had big dreams of living in a mountain range and the adirondacks or the smokey mountains are goddamn beautiful... but i also know i would def tire of that isolation lol so tbh id probably thrive best living in a spacious area but within like an hours drive from a big city??? who knows theres so many fantasies about this q that ive got goin on in my head lmao

18. Favorite lesbian movie?

i just watched princess cyd recently and i love it a lot!!! but ill also always have such a soft spot in my heart for but im a cheerleader god....

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i dont really read romance novels lol, and its so hard to find books w lesbians where romance is not the main plot of the novel so :/// ive heard good things abt Ash but im still tryna get my hands on it!!!

20. Favorite lesbian song?

yall know im a hayley kiyoko bitch..... the video for girls like girls still wrenches my heart every time