#i cried like a BITCH during her story quest

[chkn-kit]

i dont talk about it as much but i love shenhe a lot :')

[fantasy-relax]

Sweet alpha, Dangerous Omega

Part 1 Part 10 Part 11

Your healing continued without trouble despite your unconscious state, the hunger and dehydration plus your wounds exhausted you enough to stay still while Alcina healed you.

The fact that the matriarch had been as delicate as possible with you helped a lot.

The poor cub was just doing her duty

Standing on the side of your bed Alcina closed her eyes, stopping repressing her Beta from whom she could feel disappointment and anguish along with immense fury.

Cassandra is too strong and stubborn to be easily dominated, if the alpha had been like all the others, taking her by force, our wolf would have ripped out her throat with her teeth. Remember that when we found her, she did not have any wounds, not a single bruise or scratch, her aroma was soft and light without a trace of that bitterness that weighed us down so much.

When we returned to that cabin, we found an Alpha in agony willing to die in our hands rather than endure being without our girl for more than a second, she didn't beg, she didn't even try to run away, she stayed still, just holding in her arms the only memory she had left, refusing to die without it. She only acted violently when he noticed Cassandra's scent and her smell only transmitted a threat towards us, a threat that disappeared when she recognized who the omega, she had lived with was, an omega whose reputation was more than infamous, however in her eyes there was only affection. We witnessed her behavior during her heat, we saw firsthand the care and gentleness with which the alpha treated our cub who for the first time in decades was not suffering alone.

Despite the anger, shame and frustration that she feels, Cassandra is much more relaxed compared to her past Heats.

There will never be anyone who deserves our daughters, however, that Alpha will spend the rest of her life trying to be worthy.

Cassandra can deny it as many times as she wants, but her Omega wants that Alpha as her partner. Her stubbornness against her instinct will only cause her trouble and misery.

And you know that well.

The lady of the house put a hand to her face just to stop immediately when she saw the stains she had from your blood.

The blood from the wounds she caused you.

A woman is different, her parents punish her for her existence.

What a familiar story, don't you think?

The Beta's words were like a blow to her face, guilt filled her chest and the gravity of her actions weighed on her shoulders.

A pale woman whose death was hoped for, fighting to live another day.

What a familiar story.

--------------------------------

While causing pain didn't bring her as much pleasure as it did Cassandra, Lucia's moans were music to her ears.

“Hey Bela, what did she do?”

In her quest for revenge, she had forgotten to tell Daniela about what happened she simply burst into the library with a promise of fresh prey and the redhead followed her.

“Remember how I told you that the alpha had failed to demonstrate self-control?”

"Aha?"

"I was wrong, actually her self-control is admirable, in her shoes I would have torn out this bitch's tongue." She took the sickle out of the woman's leg only to skewer it in the other and continued her walk to the dungeon, ignoring the cries behind her.

“Oh? Miss Perfect admitting a mistake? I think boredom is making me hallucinate”

The two stopped when they heard Cassandra's voice, the brunette came out of her swarm with a mocking smile, leaning on the back of her younger sister.

“Oh, did you hear that too Cassie? For a moment I thought I had gone deaf.” Daniela rubbed her ears, smiling at the oldest of the three. “So, what did she do, you can't leave us wondering.”

Bela let go of her sickle, sighing knowing that her sisters wouldn’t let her forget this. Glancing sideways at Cassandra she decided to at least have a little fun.

“Well, you know that mother left me in charge of the Alpha.” The smile faded from Cassandra's face. "In just one month she has exceeded my expectations, her discipline and work are magnificent, and Relia recognizes her ability to the point of declaring her as her future substitute." The brunette rolled her eyes, but in the air you could detect the slight pride that her scent gave off. “That is why I am sad to admit that I judged her without seeking more evidence”

“Eh afa-aff lieugh-s”

It seems that the beating you gave her had knocked out a few neurons in addition to her teeth.

“So, there have never been any acts of violence against said alpha?” Cassandra's posture stiffened. “Are the physical and verbal attacks that I have been informed of nothing more than fallacies?” Her sister, with false calm, approached the maid's body and placed her heel on her chest.

"So?"

“Lie-ugh-s” Yes, she was stupid.

“It's also a lie that the reason she attacked you was because you said that my sister was so desperate to be fucked that she would let the Lycans mount her” Daniela looked at her in horror, shaking her head in disgust at the image while Cassandra turned to her seeing her with indignation and disgust to which Bela only shrugged her shoulders. “Words more words less”

“LI-AHH” Cassandra kicked her jaw, dislocating it again while Daniela grabbed the embedded sickle and twisted it.

"Besides, the person who told me wasn´t the alpha, it was another maid who witnessed your actions." If it weren't for Zina... "You attacked a co-worker and disrespected the Dimitrescu House," she approached the woman's face and force her to look at her by holding her dislocated jaw. “And you still try to evade your punishment? The alpha hasn't made even the slightest complaint these days, and still, you think you're superior?” She asked with anger before controlling herself, “Normally Cassandra would take care of you.”

“Ugh, am I really still grounded?” The brunette complained. “It's been a month already!”

“And mother said you still will be grounded for another eight.” In reality were four, but she was still upset with Cassandra for her irresponsibility. She signaled to Daniela to continue walking. The pool of blood was going to be difficult to remove, and they had left a trail of blood on the entire hallway, perfect that would make them remember who was in charge. “But she said you were free to give advice on how to proceed with her.”

Her sister sighed, but she nodded, accepting what was offered.

“If Daniela can be patient, maybe you can keep her alive for more than a week.”

“HEY”

“Let's start with the basics, we have to prevent her from bleeding completely, Daniela take out the sickle and use this to make a tourniquet on her legs” Cassandra offered a rope to the minor and then smiled evilly at Lucia, making sure to show her fangs “She deserves special treatment after all.”

---------------------------------------

When you woke up you looked at the ceiling of your room feeling relief for not being trapped in the dungeon you looked at the window finally noticing how late it was. Lady Dimitrescu had shown mercy in releasing you early and you repaid her by sleeping during work hours.

You got up immediately to put on your uniform and left the room without even taking a bath, chasing away the flies that fluttered around you attracted by your bad smell. Some of them left but one stayed, refusing to die crushed by your hands. You gave up and let it rest on your neck.

You swore it was laughing at you.

Arriving at the workshop you were greeted by Relia who scolded you, but not for the reason you expected.

“You should be resting for another day! *Sniff* You haven't even bathed, Holy Mother Miranda, give me patience, Come here.”

You followed her without saying anything, you didn't want to make her more angry but as always she was the one who broke the silence.

"I'm sorry"

“Uh?”

“I didn't realize how you were treated, I thought you just didn't want to get involved with Betas when in reality they were the ones who didn't want you to be there.” She looked at you with determination. “Things will be different, I promise you.”

"You don't have to apologize, that's normal for me, an alpha woman is an aberration just like an omega man, their existence is unnatural and grotesque and should be treated as such."

Although you had hoped that outside the town it would be different, the reality was that here being treated with insults and beatings was common. You never expected it to be different in the castle.

You stiffened as you felt arms wrap around you only to relax as you realized it was just Relia giving you a hug.

It felt good.

“I will make sure to create a new normal for you.”

You leaned on her more.

For a moment you thought the fly was rubbing against you offering its own form of comfort.

----------------------------

After your bath, Relia took you to the kitchen where Dorottea received her with a light slap for not going to breakfast while she told you to sit down with a light dish since mealtime was close.

Unlike other days, the kitchen staff interacted with you, involving you in their conversations.

Which seemed to be a bad decision.

Every time you mentioned something about your life in the village, all the women would stare at you with a mixture of horror, pity, and disbelief.

You knew your life wasn't the best and frankly it was bad but it wasn't that horrible either.

Right?

“Let me see if I heard correctly.” Dorottea joined the conversation after a while. “Your father used you as bait to attract a bear” You nodded. “For which he threw a bucket of blood on you and left you in the middle of the forest with just a whistle.”

“He didn't leave me alone; he climbed a tree to aim and see better so he wouldn't shoot me by mistake again.” Your parents were cruel but it's not like they tried to kill you on purpose.

“Shoot you?!”

"Again?!"

“It was only a few times on my arm and leg and once it grazed my cheek” And every time that happened they let you rest until you healed. “After that he changed the strategy”

"To what?"

“He tied my ankle to a rock and when the bear came, he would throw it to get me out of the way” Much more effective and safer.

Silence.

“At the end he would get me down and adjust my ankle if it had been dislocated” Later he will teach you how to do it on your own, a very useful skill in your opinion.

“How old were you?”

"Eight"

The silence seemed to increase the sound of the clock that marked how close it was to meal time.

The kitchen staff got up and proceeded to do their jobs like every day, however you thought that perhaps they were cutting the ingredients with more force than necessary and you were sure that the murmurs they made under their breath sounded like swear words.

Greta came in, looked at the situation and shrugged her shoulders and then spoke to you.

“Lady Bela wishes to speak with you, follow me.”

-------------------------------------------------

There was no trace of resentment on your face.

“Why didn't you say something about the treatment of maids?”

“I didn't think it was necessary, although it caused some delays, it was nothing I hadn't dealt with before”

After reading Greta's report it was easy to understand why it took you so long to get to your lessons. Another thing that she punished you for without first asking you what was happening, she rubbed her temples for a second before looking at you again.

“You could have told me when the incident with Lucia occurred” Your eyes shone with fury for a few seconds. You closed them as you took a breath and the fire faded.

“I broke the rules that were imposed on me, no matter the reason it doesn't change the fact that I disobeyed Lady Dimitrescu's orders, as well as yours.”

Bela sighed, her guilt still weighing on her.

“Any person would react badly upon hearing those words, you had great self-control to avoid killing her considering that she offended the omega of your interest.”

The seriousness with which you acted faded, you blushed completely and avoided her gaze.

“Well it's uhh” You cleared your throat to control your voice “I must act like a proper alpha if I want to be Lady Cassandra's heat partner.”

Oh?

“And what do you think an alpha does that qualifies her as adequate?”

Despite your firm stance there was a resignation and defeat in your eyes.

“Provides their partner with food and shelter, protects them from any enemy and never makes them doubt their loyalty and affection.” You took a deep breath. “I know that the only thing I can offer Lady Cassandra is my presence and body, however, if I can do anything else for her, I will do it without thinking.”

So, for you that's being an alpha.

To protect and provide with love and loyalty.

Black God seems like a line taken from one of the novels that-

“How romantic!”

Daniela likes so much…

“Dani, what did I tell you about entering without knocking?”

 Her sister completely ignored her as she held your hands.

“Don't you want to be my mate? I'll treat you better than Cassie." Her little sister was shamelessly flirting with you.

Blushing up to your ears, you freed yourself from Daniela's grip and took a step back.

“It would be an honor to be your mate Lady Daniela” You bowed your head “However it is Lady Cassandra who my alpha has chosen and I agree with that decision, I apologize for rejecting your generous offer.”

Silence.

Daniela hugged you, almost drowning you in her chest.

“AWW NO PROBLEM, CUTIE I WILL BE MORE THAN SATISFIED BEING YOUR FAVORITE SISTER-IN-LAW”

You were on your tiptoes with your hands fluttering around not knowing where to place them.

You really were a special case.

“Dani, you are going to suffocate her, and Cassandra is going to get angry with you if you rub your scent on her.”

As soon as you were free you took breaths of air without control.

“Killjoy, you don't want me to be her favorite, you've already spent a lot of time with her now it's my turn!”

“If I spend so much time with her, that's why; one, I am in charge of her and two, I give her classes”

“You have surely bored her to death with your numbers.”

“That you don't like mathematics is another thing”

Daniela pouted and then smiled in a way that Bela knew meant trouble.

“You are very busy, dear sister. What do you think if we divide the work?” She raised an eyebrow, intrigued by what her sister was planning. “You teach her about math, geometry and everything boring” she rolled her eyes. “And I am in charge of teaching her about literature, grammar and writing, which you know very well I am better at than you.” Daniela finished by placing her hands on her back while she wiggled back and forth on the balls of her feet.

With a hand on her chin Bela considered the offer, your writing needed improvement and you had numerous errors in your spelling with Daniela teaching, you would learn properly and her schedule wouldn't be so tight.

"That seems fine to me"

“Yesss”

Walking towards you Bela placed a hand on your shoulder, you tensed for a second before relaxing considerably.

“You will continue with your work with Relia, I am in charge of establishing a class schedule with Daniela”

“Boring”

"Daniela"

With her sister quiet, she decided to make something else clear.

“I'm in charge of you, if you have a problem, tell me immediately” You nodded “And if someone insults my family again you are free to punish them” She let go of your shoulder and caressed your head, smiling as she noticed how you leaned closer to her when he walked away. “You can leave.”

Alone with Daniela, it was the youngest who broke the silence.

“The blouse she is wearing is yours, right?”

“Yes, I'm surprised Cassandra hasn't noticed it yet.”

Sighing, her sister sat on the couch.

“Cass hasn't noticed because she's been avoiding her since she kicked her out of her room.” Daniela rubbed her face with both hands. “She denies that she has any interest and what happened was just a slip of her omega's heat"

Bela returned to her new desk, sitting down to review reports on the status of the vineyard.

Daniela turned to look at her. “Do we agree that the plan is to bother Cassie until she admits her interest?” she asked mischievously.

"Absolutely"

[glitterguts13]

In genshin and hsr who are your favorites? It can be a category or fave from each body type/gender/element whatever and to balance it out, do you have any hsr/genshin characters you don't vibe with doesn't have to be outright hate but just not your fave either be story/design/personality or any reason really

How about I once again ramble on far too long and just rank all the characters from each series? (I love to yap, I'm the worst yapper) Only doing HSR right now but I'll do Genshin another day!

HSR (going by Element)

Fire

Himeko

5/10

I love her dearly, and I think her design is stunning. The only reason I give her such a neutral rating is because the story hasn't really let me connect with her yet. She still feels like a stranger despite being with us the longest, and I really want more content focused on her, her past and other Trailblazers she's known.

Topaz

4/10

Design wise, I love her. I love Numby, and I think she was the perfect way to introduce us to the higher ups of the IPC. I just don't really care much for her character. I don't connect with her, but I don't dislike her either. I want to see her and Aventurine interact more in the future, I need to know if they're friends or they hate each other's guts.

Asta

1/10

I don't like her design and I find her terribly boring. Honestly if she hadn't been the first character I E6'd I'd forget she was even in the game.

Gallagher

8/10

Real talk, I did not and still do not understand WTF this man was doing or what he was talking about. I love him dearly tho because goddamn it Hoyo we need more old men. Design wise, he's a little plain but that just works in his favorite. Also I still crack jokes about the "I'm Thirteen." line.

Guinaifen

5/10

Great design, her ult is one of my favorites. I loved her in the HouHou event and I really want to see more of her in the future. She's cute and charming.

Hook

2/10

I don't like her design and I don't really care about her as a character. Her relationship with her dad is very sweet tho.

Ice

Gepard

7/10

Biased because baby boy carried my ass from the start up until Aventurine knocked him off my main team. E3 with his signature Lightcone, the gatcha gods have pushed us together. Design wise I think he's rather dull, but he's a wonderful brother and I just want to squish his cheeks and tell him he's doing a good job.

Jingliu

4/10

One of the best designs in the game, but I feel like so much of her story was ignored in place of Blade and Dan Heng. I want more of her, I want to see her what she was like before everything went down. Give me more Jingliu lore Hoyo.

Ruan Mei

1/10

Ok, I know this is petty, and I'm sorry. I would have given her a 9/10 before I did the cat cake quest, but after seeing how she treated those precious babies (I am a massive cat person) I was just so upset. I know that's dumb, and I do enjoy that Hoyo gave us a genuinely morally gray character. I just love cats too much-

Yanqing

5/10

I have no feelings either way about him. Design is meh, story was meh. I'm open to changing my opinion in the future if we see more of him.

Herta

5/10

I love that they made her doll body look like a doll (looking at Wanderer Hoyo) but I don't care about her either way. She's middle ground.

March 7th

7/10

Sweet baby girl, I will protect you with my life. A ray of sunshine in this dark world, I'm very excited about her new alt. Side note, do you ever just have a headcanon about a character that's so strong you forget it isn't canon? For me I've been headcanoning March as a trans woman for so long I genuinely forget she's not.

Misha

7/10

Sweet baby boy I am still not over what happened to you. Adorable design, heartbreaking story. You'll never be forgotten.

Pela

8/10

I love her so dearly, I think her design is perfection. Her VA brought me to tears during her story while crying for her mother. Absolutely gut wrenching, I will defend her with my life.

Imaginary

Aventurine

10/10

I cried like a fucking bitch playing his story. I hated his guts when we first meet him at the hotel and the way I turned around was whiplash. He's wonderful and perfect and I hope to God he gets to know some form of genuine freedom one day. However this is Hoyo and I know better.

Dan Heng: Imbibitor Lunae

8/10

Easily one of my favorite designs. Slutty ass little waist I just wanna grab- anyway I think he's neat.

Dr Ratio

7/10

I don't care for his design but goddamnit if he doesn't make me cackle. I know he isn't meant to be funny but his deadpan line delivery kills me, and his interactions with Aventurine were some of the best.

Loucha

??/10

HEY HOYO WHERE DID HE GO?? TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT THIS MAN FOR FUCKS SAKE IM SO LOST

Welt

10/10

The love I have for this old man is unhealthy and should be studied. Man made me read Impact Lore I'm down so bad and you know what else HES STILL NOT HOME JUST COME HOME IM TIRED OF LOSING TO GEPARD

Yukong

7/10

Doomed lesbians. Give her her wife back Hoyo, and don't you DARE TOUCH HER DAUGHTER

Lightning

Archeron

5/10

Great design, absolutely peak. I just don't connect with her, nothing to say either way.

Bailu

8/10

My sweet daughter, I will protect her at all costs.

Jing Yuan

9/10

I am not immune to Daddy Jing Yuan. Great design, great character and I want to see him interact with Jingliu more. Give me angst, give me feeling.

Kafka

10/10

I only picked up HSR because of her, and I still don't have her. This feels like a personal attack. Sexy as fuck, step on me, Jesus christ she is everything.

Arlan

1/10

I have no real reason I just do not like him. Design or character wise, I find him boring and uninteresting.

Serval

8/10

Hot big gay sister. She's beautiful, she's talented and she's another one on the list with a dead girlfriend. Would give my kidney just to hold her hand.

Tingyun

6/10

WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO HER????

Physical

Boothill

10/10

I would do disgusting things for this man. Might be the only character story that made me cry while reading and not playing. I'm both thrilled and terrified to see how his interactions with Aventurine go in the future. Give me more slutty, sad cyborg.

Robin

7/10

Beautiful design and she made my heartache. She loved her brother so much, but they'll never be able to recover the bond they used to have...teared up when she caught Sunday while he fell.

Argenti

8/10

I just think he's neat.

Clara

9/10

THATS MY DAUGHTER, THAT IS MY BABY. I WILL COMMIT CRIMES TO SEE HER SAFE AND HAPPY AND ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR ROBOT FATHERS NUMBER HES REALLY HOT-

Hanya

5/10

Stunning design, but I have nothing else to say about her, good or bad.

Luka

-1/10

He might be the only character I actively hate. I don't like his design and I don't like him. I'm sorry to Luka stans, I do not stand with you.

Natasha

5/10

Again, neutral on all account.

Sushang

2/10

Forgot all about her until just now.

Quantum

I give them all a 5/10

I feel 100% neutral on all of them. Sparkle gets a 2/10 tho because holy shit you didn't have to say *that* to Aventurine.

Black Swan

8/10

Everything about her design is perfection and she was just a delight to follow in game. I love her, I want to see more of her.

Blade

4/10

3 of the 4 points is just because of Dan Hang. I don't like Blade at all, unpopular opinion I know.

Bronya

5/10

Again, totally neutral. Love her earrings tho.

HuoHuo

9/10

Baby, angel, sweetest creature alive. I will do anything to make her feel safe and I will personal pick a fight with Mr. Tail for upsetting her. Also FUCK her parents, how dare they do that to their daughter.

Dan Heng

6/10

Hes neat, but I don't really care either way. Did love him with Boothill tho, that was unnecessarily funny.

Sampo

8/10

STINKY TRASH MAN FUNNY I want to hurt him.

[eluvixnsarchived]

no one asked for it but since i am trapped beneath a cat who is biting me every time i try to end this cuddle session here is some haylin lore

- comes from a pirate hyur mother and an elezen gridanian father

- has an older brother that got smoked with their father during the calamity when he was fighting on the frontlines

- has no contact with ma bc ma abandoned them

- came to gridania hoping to find some sort of life and home but instead found ghosts and ruin

- would never have gone down the path of adventurer if she wasnt so in need of a few bucks

- only went with yda and paps and to the waking sands bc she needed that cash money your girl was BROKE

- stayed with the scions bc of minf and her understanding of the echo

- got super attached to alphie bc she missed the sibling feeling and only continued to stay for him

- and bc she thought thancred was tasty

- and bc where else would she fucking go at this point

- DEFINITELY had a few choice words for lahabrea when the big reveal happened and definitely told alphie if he strayed too far from her side she would drag him around by his ankles

- definitely wanted g'raha during the crystal tower quests and definitely cried a bit when they were over

- canonly bothers urianger when she's bored and he knows this but humours her anyway bc he eventually peaks her curiosity and he knows this dumb bitch cant resist acting on it so now he can infodump all he wants and shes just chin in hands the whole time bc shes basically learning history tea

- definitely has not recovered from the vault and the crippling guilt

- definitely cornered hancock when he first showed up and told him if he fucks with tataru shes gonna serve his balls on a kebab skewer seasoned and fried to him

- the scions have definitely come to her room to go out on jobs and she's definitely opened the door butt ass naked. now they just call over link pearl ( and when she doesnt answer they send y'shtola )

- has thought about how she'd kick the asses of every scion except y'shtola bc even she knows better

- tried to be a white mage like dad and it didnt fit. tried to be a dragoon like brother but it didnt fit. tried to be a warrior to try and connect with her mother but it didnt fit. became a dark knight when the anger she held after the vault kicked in. became a reaper when she figured out being a real warrior of darkness has more appeal than being the golden child of a god who was never there

- the only reason she isnt a mercenary for hire for the highest bidder is bc she loves the scions too much and alphie is her north star

- that being said if she ever lost him or g'raha or thancred or estinien she'd probably kill the source herself bc whats the point in living in it if they're not there any more?

- is v adventurous though like DO NOT ENTER signs are like moth to flame for her shes just too curious she HAS to know

- flirting with nero so he gets uncomfortable and weirded out is her favourite hobby

- she does the same to estinien and this is my reasoning as to why he took so long to join the scions it it wasnt the commitment issues it was fucking haylin lurking in the shadows ready to tell him he holds his rod well

- is alisaie's number one fan she would kill for this kid she would fight anyone

- insists g'raha goes with her everywhere they're joined at the hip she wants him bad

- her crush on thancred turned into 'this is my partner in crime my best friend my brother in arms'

- urianger is her person though

- worships the ground y'shtola walks on like her word is law

- scar across her nose is from wandering too far into the forests alone as a kid and getting smacked by the beasties in there before her brother came to the rescue

- has a multitude of scars from various things and her story for each one is never the truth ( it's easier and better that way )

- you can bet ur ass she tried to see where things would go with aymeric but stopped when she realised he really is that kind and noble and she didnt want to ruin that bc she is utterly convinced she's not worth a damn thing

- which is probably why she throws herself into harms way so willingly. not just for the scions, or the people, or the weak. but bc she thinks she deserves whatever pain is coming

- and because she KNOWS she can take it. she can withstand it

- she's just too stubborn to not stand up again after it

[connabeth]

i don’t think the most unrealistic thing in all of pjo and hoo was flying horses or water powers or shifting underground mazes, it was the fact that despite everything percy had been forced to put up with, he never cried. not once. bitch, i would’ve cried on DAY ONE.

there’s an attempt on my life during my school field trip? crying. my fucking mom’s dead? bawling like a baby. someone tries to stick my head down a toilet? i’m beating their ass, and then crying. i have to fight demigods and monsters with basically zero training? cursing and crying. and this is all just day one baby.

snake lady tries to turn me and my friends into an ugly garden statue? crying. i fall off the gateway arch? screaming and crying. my dad says i was a mistake? giving him the middle finger then crying. one of my best friends gets kidnapped (two books in a row)? sobbing. i have to be physically active at summer camp? whining, refusing to get up, and crying. the girl i love is giving me the cold shoulder? under-the-covers sniffling. i accidentally kill a dude in the middle of battle? dissociation and then crying.

i finally get to settle down and be happy with my girlfriend and then get swept away to the other side of the country only to wake up surrounded by a bunch of wolves? punching a bitch then crying. i remember basically nothing about my life except my girlfriend who i can’t find anywhere? weeping. finally reunite with her and then am forced to see her off on a quest to get herself killed? cry. ing.

she succeeds but then we both get tossed into hell? gutted wailing. having to shove motherfucking fire down my throat to survive? crying except no sound comes out cause my vocal chords are burnt. i accidentally freak my gf out when i try to choke a bitch on her own poison? guilty crying. evil spirits inflict a thousand cursed on me and the girl i love and i’m bleeding all over the place and she’s blind and terrified? crying cause that shit hurted. the face of hell looks me in the eyes and sucks all the hope out of my soul? crying. i’m forced to leave to leave good people behind to die? heartbroken sobbing. of all things, my nostrils are the reason the earth mother is woken up? embarrassed crying. finally reuniting with camp and then seeing my friend die? crying.

i have to go to a shitty high school for senior year because nowhere else would take me? crying. i get to take a backseat and finish school with my girlfriend but then i have to fight greco-egyptian deities with two other random kids when i’m just trying to get by? lamenting. and then a god-but-not-actually-a-god shows up at my doorstep like an ungrateful little bitch? shutting the door in his face and then crying. hearing my other friend got skewered like a shish kebab? crying. getting to drive to college with my two best friends but running into trouble every step of the way? banging my head against the steering wheel and crying.

in conclusion it was bad writing to not have him cry at least twice in each series, end of story. let percy cry 2k21💅🏽.

[scrawnytreedemon]

going off that last ask: loz/yazoo character opinion? i wanna read your thoughts!

Ohooooo, I was waiting for something like this!!! Thank you, Vee :) I’ll do my best to explain <333

Starting off with Yazoo:

First impression: Calm, level-headed, perhaps a bit shy. What surprised me the first time watching was how deep his voice was. He’s got this grace about him that leaves you simply... staring. I interpreted the introductory scene where Loz nearly cries and Yaz tells him not to as comforting-- Which I think is what a good chunk of Rem fans see it as? Overall, pretty, but not much else.

Impression now: I think he’s fucking ruthless under that dainty face, if you ask me. Honestly, it���d be right in line with Sephiroth. I think out of the both of his brothers, he gets along better with Kadaj, but if he wasn’t around, I doubt Yazoo would have nearly enough investment in their quest. He comes across as apathetic and uncompassionate, perhaps even a little haughty. I feel like his relationship with Loz is tolerable at best, and downright acidic at worst. With Loz being the way he is, I wouldn’t be surprised if Yazoo and Kadaj had to keep an eye on him at all times, just in case. I feel, though, at the end of the day Yazoo does care about his brothers, and would risk his life for them. It’s in his bones, and he can’t help it, whether he likes it or not. Still very pretty though, lmao.

Favourite moment: Been forever sinced I watched Advent Children, and, unfortunately, Yazoo my beloved doesn’t get many scenes. I’ll have to go with the introductory scene, as it gives us an idea of who they are and what their dynamic is like right off the bat.

Idea for a story: I feel like any story with Yazoo inevitably ends up involving Loz, so I’ll make a joint bullet-point for them at the end of the post <3

Unpopular opinion: Mmm, probably the more apathetic, if not downright spiteful characterisation. If my friend @vesaniens​’s experience is to be believed, then at least Back In Her Day it was far more common for Yazoo and Loz to be buddy-buddy while Kadaj goes off and does his own thing. I can see the appeal in that dynamic, and understand where it comes from. There’s alot of ways you can interpret ‘don’t cry, Loz,‘ and as it is the introductory scene, however you do sets down the foundation for all that follows.

Favourite relationship: The Remnants aren’t characters I can find preferable ships for in-canon, so romantic is off the table here. I will say, though, a dynamic where Genesis and Yazoo are mentor and mentee would be downright tooth-rotting. Genesis preening him, taking him out to nice places, showing him fine literature-- I love it! I don’t see much talk about how the Remnants would relate to Gen and Geal, and I think that’s a damn shame. Plus, Yazoo can then quietly rub it in either of his brothers’ faces whenever he gets annoyed with them. To pick another, though, definitely him and Loz-- Especially if it is strained. It’s very clear they’re meant to contrast each other. Yazoo is lithe, subtle and venemous; Loz is big, loud and sensitive. I personally have a huge soft spot for fics where they recouncile their differences and learn to truly love each other.

Favourite headcanon: Honestly, I feel like I need to make a general headcanon post for the Rems as a whole. They’re all inherently tied, so a change to one of them usually affects the other two. To touch up on one from a theory I read about a year ago now(God, has it been that long?), I like the idea that the Remnants got a little bit of Genesis and Angeal mixed in. They’re like 90% Seph, give or take, but the other 10%~? Now that’s where the fun begins baby!!! In this case, the donor would be Genesis, and Yazoo would’ve gotten the more passive-aggressive, snarky, preening aspects of his character. The resentment and feelings of  inferiority towards Sephiroth end up getting mixed into Kadaj, however I don’t want to elaborate on this too long lest I go off-topic. On a more crack-heavy note, I feel like if you waved a laser-pointer in front of him, he’d be transfixed. He’s too dignified to actually leap at it... But he likes watching :)

Now, as for Loz:

First impression: Big phuckign himbo, idiotte of a man. Probably can’t even buckle his own boots. Playtime??? Bitch NO, it’s not playtime! WHY ARE YOU CRYING??? But yeah, my initial view fell alot more in line with what I think is the most common interpretation of him. His excecution leans heavily to Big Dumb Idiot Man Who Cries When He Sees A Duckling.

Impression now: Baby. Poor fucking baby. Honestly, that could be said for all the Remnants, but I don’t think Loz’s struggle is discussed nearly enough. I’ve talked about this before, but, for me, it’s painfully clear that Loz is essentially a child in a grown man’s body. Writer Kazushige Nojima has Loz’s lines about playing during his fight with Tifa were based off his own son, and has described him as “missing a little something upstairs” --And looking at him through that lens, things become alot more disturbing. He’s Sephiroth’s love for Jenova; a doting, yearning, infantilising love. There’s an innocence to Loz, something sweet, something light and airy-- And to have him fight, have him torture, have him kill... just, man. This jarring dichotomy between such hulking, brutal strength, this bringer of destruction, and this kid who wants his mother. Is he aware? Does he truly understand the weight of his actions? Can he? Most of this, admittedly, is a bit of a stretch, but I love this doof alot jhdhjfdjhs can you blame me?

Favourite moment: Oh, definitely the crying scene-- You must be real tired of hearing that again. Though, in Loz’s case, it sets up his sensitivity, and his dynamic with his brothers-- Yazoo in particular.

Idea for a story: Same answer as Yaz.

Unpopular opinion: I think my more infantile view of Loz as a whole is semi-unpopular? Fandom seems pretty split on whether he’s just a himbo or actual babyman. Again, hard to tell, what with most Rem content and discussion being several years old and tricky to find. I’d be curious to have a discussion on this! But yeah, if we’re talking about the wider fanbase, I think my intense appreciation of him is definitely unusual. Alot of OG fans see the Rems as tropey villains, and while I will argue that it makes sense considering they’re fragments of a bigger, badder, more complex villain, I don’t think Loz is nearly as shallow as most would have you believe.

Favourite relationship: As discussed with Yazoo, there aren’t any canon characters I consistently ship the Remnants with -- Especially not for Loz, in particular when viewing him through that youthful lens -- Though as with everything, I am flexible :) On the platonic side... Honestly, I think Loz would just be a big softie who hangs around everyone. If Angeal was baking, Loz would definitely chip in to help, though he might cause more trouble than if he stayed aside. I think he’d try and reach out to Sephiroth, only for his affections to be rejected because the latter is Bad With Emotions and is torn between on whether the Remnants are a nuisance he hands off to his old friends or his children who he wants to scoop up and carry off into the vast cosmos.

Favourite headcanon: Loz eats alot of shit he isn’t meant to. Like, shit that would kill twenty grown men. At least once he has mistaken stinging nettle for mint, and spent the next two or three days scraping his tongue constantly. Would chase a ball if thrown, no questions asked; try playing frisbee with this dude, and you’ll end up on the other side of town by the end of it. If you try and pick him up, he just slumps, like a big, brawny ragdoll cat-- Probably purrs like one, too. Definitely appreciates a good scratch behind the ear :)

There’s like... probably mountains more, but this is what I’ve been able to coax out after a day of writing this on and off. Again, thank you so much for asking!! I’ve been meaning to ramble about the Remnants for ages now, but didn’t know how to go about it.

Aight, as promised:

Story idea: This is one I’ve had on my mind for years now. I haven’t gotten around to it, as it’d require greater familiarity with FFVII’s world as a whole, but the premise is that Yazoo and Loz escape far out into the countryside, and end up in a village. Yazoo soon falls ill, and Loz has to provide a living working for a local farmer. Their dynamic is initially strained, and without Kadaj to hold them together, they nearly end up splitting before arrival. As time passes, and as they grow closer to the community, Yazoo’s grumbles fade into concerned murmers. Slowly, he begins to trust Loz more, and Loz learns to take more responsibility. But as their friendship blossoms, Yazoo’s body withers. Bedbound, he wonders how Loz would fare without him, if he could make it. I imagine this ends up leading to Loz deliberately blowing their cover to get needed medical help from WRO, turning themselves in during the process.

Again, there’s probably more to it, but to be honest even I don’t know. That’s the great thing about creativity :) You never know where you end up!

Thank you for asking, and feel free to ask more if you’re curious! This goes for elaboration on characters already asked, certain headcanons, and even pairings! Also, feel free to add on with your own thoughts! Whether they be additions, refutations, or so on. Fandom discussion(provided it’s civil qwq) can be so much fun!

<333

[werenotacoupleyesyouare]

IT HAPPENED AGAIN I FINISHED ROYAL ASSASSIN BEFORE EVEN MAKING A POST

-I will get into chronological order in a second but first, a rant: FITZ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW DO YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA OH MY GOD FITZ WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING-

-okay more on that later

- Glad to see no one died between book one and two, everyone is back and sexier than before of course except for Regal who was already the sexiest bitch in Buck keep

- just kidding y’all know that is Burrich

- I love how Robin Hobb decided we had to know that Burrich Fucks, I appreciate that of her

-Fitz is, as always, a complete dumbass. I’m starting to think that this is not just a temporary situation anymore

-Kettricken is really incredible, I may need to jump on the Kettricken simp train (although I’m more of a Patience lady myself I gotta say)

- This isn’t really an update but I keep thinking abiut how Galend used to say “you shall not have any contact with the opposite sex” like he wasn’t the only straight person in BuckKeep (well the only cishet at least except maybe for Shrewd)

Allow me to elaborate: Fitz and Molly? Bi. Hands? Gay. Burrich? Bi and not over his breakup with Chivalry. Patience? Bi and dating Lacey (lesbian). Verity and Kettricken are both trans, there is no way you can convince me otherwise. August is gay and repressed, which is different from Regal who is gay and homophobic. The fool is gender queer. Chivalry was pan. Chade is gay. The two girl classmates of Fitz one who became leader of the skilled kidz and the other who dropped out are dating, they broke up bc Galend’s psychological abuse had messed them up terribly but now they’re back together. (Update now I know more names, selene and justin both raging homos, truly evil stupid wlw/mlm solidariety). Will is gay too.

- OH I DESPERATELY WANT TO SEE BURRICH AND THE FOOL INTERACT I THINK THEY’D GET GET ALONG;; Burrich is friends with most of the young folk in Buckkeep, he’s a mentor to all of them and idk how old the fool is but I know they didn’t have that and they’re lonely as shit. They’re both done with every single person in BuckKeep and they both have at least one braincell, which is apparently extremely rare around here

-I love Fitz’s constant theme of “no one in BuckKeep knew. I was so furtive and secretive. No one could ever guess what I was doing” when he’s visiting either Night Eyes or Molly because I know all the folk in BuckKeep are like “ah shit there he goes again going to see that fucking wolf”

- MOLLY AND FITZ ARE SERIOUSLY SO DRAMATIC HDHENDJDJHFHDHC they gave me my fav scene ever though, where Molly and Fitz are doing their Dramatic Breakup Speech outside of Burrich’s room, while the Fool and Burrich are inside listening w a glass on the door like “shit- shit he’s coming in get away get away- Hello Fitz!”

- drunk fool was chaotic energy at its finest

- Patience and Kettricken keep being the absolute best I swear if Verity doesn’t come back I am marrying his wife myself

- on that note VERITY SIR I THOUGHT AT LEAST YOU HAD THE BRAINCELL,,, OH YES I’LL GO ALONE ON A MYTHICAL QUEST TO LOOK FOR FAIRIES SURELY MY EVIL BROTHER WON’T TRY ANYTHING WHILE I’M GONE ❤️

- ok everyone by now knows that I’m both a huge patience and burrich simp, but I will not believe for a second that they were in love, sorry Patience is in a happy relationship w Lacey and Burrich was always in love with Chivalry, I will not accept any other version of the story ❤️

- and now onto the sad part

- OKAY look I will tolerate any shit a character does, literally they could kill Fitz and I wouldn’t bat an eye but when Regal had the AUDACITY to order his men to hurt the Fool,,,, that was the irredeemable point of no return for me, Fuck regal all my homies hate regal

- I am growing extremely fond of the fool they’re the sweetest character so far I am honestly in love, also they’re smart thank god we needed someone with braincells near Fitz because that boy is a complete dumbass

- also the “Who did this to you.” scene after the fool got beaten up the first time,,,, I sense multishipping times nearing on the horizon

- when I tell you I cried my eyes out during Shrewd’s death,,,,,,,, not bc I care about the guy, pretty annoying as he was, but seeing the fool crying is not something I will ever recover from thanks

- everyone keeps saying that night eyes has the braincell out of him and Fitz but honestly!! That’s not true!! The wolf is a dumbass as well, it’s just that anyone put against Fitz would seem like a genius!!

- Fitz not realizing that Molly’s “the one I care most about” and Burrich’s “female friend who needs a hand” might,,, be related,,,,,,,,, lol

- idk if it’s actually like that but imagine how devastating it would be for Fitz to have his girlfriend stolen by his fucking DAD

or well father figure but still

- the way Fitz talks about Molly tho 💕💕

- The foreshadowing of Kettricken’s child actually being still born,,,,,,,,,,, I pretend I do not see

- The “let him go night eyes, he’s not yours” scene gave me chills tbh

- I’m manifesting some flashbacks of younger Chivalry, Verity, Patience and Burrich,,, I wanna see the dynamics,,,, don’t think I won’t write it myself if there aren’t any

- so yeah I have already started book three because I have no self control, every time Fitz skills out to Molly he gets a different picture of Burrich doing house work, if Fitz keeps this up he’ll be able to bless us all with the Hot Burrich Calendar we all deserve

Ending notes! I thought I would skip the liveship traders trilogy but everyone told me that it’s not a good idea so I’ll read everything in order :)

I am completely obsessed with these books please send help

Tagging some beautiful people @violetiris-ak @garnetrena @wolfofmars

[phantaloon-books]

I finally read The Tyrant's Tomb and boi I loved this one so much, so here's some my opinion on it (they're not in chronological order)

warning, this is long af and sorry for cursing a bit, I can't help it

Apollo's character arc is lowkey one of the best Rick has written, I'm sorry if you don't agree, but he's gone from wanting others to solve his problems and relying on the halfbloods to intentionally avoiding others doing things for him, volunteering for the quests and saying it should be him that faces the terrible stuff so that demigods and other creatures don't suffer

something really interesting is how his perception of himself has changed, and it's almost worrying how genuinely self depreciating his inner dialogue is, because he no longer sees himself as mighty Apollo, he sees himself as worthless and useless Lester, and his narration is highkey depressing

Also, Apollo disliking and being somewhat disgusted of the god he used to be, realizing the horrible things he had done and how horrible he was and that he looked worse as the former Apollo than as Lester, regretting things he'd done, that's top tier development

(I'm sorry but I love the entire scene with the ravens, the part where he just screams "I'm sorry" it feels as if he isn't just apologizing to the ravens, but to everyone who's been affected by what he's done as a selfish god)

Reyna so openly turning down and laughing at Apollo for suggesting they be together is my favorite thing ever lmao I couldn't stop laughing, like she knew what gods can do if you turn them down (even if it was just mortal Lester) and she didn't give a damn, it was so fucking funny

people say Rick only includes diversity for the sake of including it and to gain popularity, but I still enjoy the fact that he does, because as a teacher he must have had all kinds of students of all religions, colors and sexualities, he includes diversity because he's seen diversity. anyway my point is I love that we have Lavinia, a Jewish lesbian from a Russian family, and she's not ashamed of being any of them

I'm sorry I just love Apollo so much, I've grown to respect him so much, and even if Hermes once said them gods often forget their oaths and promises, I have a feeling Apollo won't ever forget Jason's request that he never forgets what's it like to be mortal

Frank still admiring Apollo despite everything, and despite the fact that he looks like a messed up teen makes me go all uwu

Frank being portrayed as this clumsy and awkward kid but also this powerful and brave leader is my favorite thing ever because I think Frank is underrated and I dare to say that he's one of the strongest demigods we've ever met, even stronger than some of the nig three children

the whole thing about the undead army is honestly so creepy, especially when we see it from Apollo's perspective cause se him slowly succumb to the venom's effect, and that part in Tarquin's tomb where he "calls Lester to be part of his undead" was genuinely disturbing, at least to me

some books in the past have touched the part of the nature spirits not being given enough attention, but I really enjoyed how Apollo comes to realize that he only worries about demigods and gods when all lives are worth the same - mortals, halfbloods, nature spirits, gods, and even monsters

again, I love Apollo's arc, it's just AHH he's becoming so caring of life it just makes me happy

Reyna choosing herself to make herself happy is everything, and inspiring to every single woman who is told by others that they need someone to be happy, I just love it, because self love is the most important love of all

I haven't said anything about it, but man I love Meg and Apollo's friendship, they just care so much for each other, Meg who's so scared of losing her loved ones and Apollo who's so scared of not being able to be loved or to love, but they still love each other, and I'm glad it's not romantic, because yes fraternal love is also what people need, and their friendship is what they need

aurum and argentum being cute doggos rather than the steely (no pun intended) and cold dogs we met in HoO warms my heart. I don't understand why they're so cute and adorable, or maybe that's just how Apollo sees them, but they seem to act like actual dogs in this book

the fact that Reyna never confirmed nor denied being attracted to Thalia just makes me all hyped up, like we love Theyna

Apollo just gives off Eddie Brock vibes throughout the entire book and that's hilarious asf. ever since the start he's said to look like shit, feel like shit and be injured with deathly poison that will turn him to a zombie. if that isn't Venom vibes I don't know what is

I've said it once and I'll say it again, Frank Zhang is one of the strongest demigods Rick has ever introduced in a series, and him facing two immoral and godly in power emperors, burning one to death with his own life fire and injuring the other enough for Apollo to do the final kill is top tier

"If I'm going to burn, I might as well burn bright. This is for Jason." bitch actual goosebumps

We've seen countless deaths before, but something about Frank killing Caligula and Apollo killing Commodus seems so... mature I guess is the word, or well for a more mature audience. I can't describe how or why, but it feels more real, more like actual human death

I can't deal with how human Apollo seems in this book gosh I really am sorry I keep bringing this up, but I feel such warmth

the story of how Frank overcame his curse is actual BS and as much as I love Frank, it makes no sense that they spent all that time thinking of ways to keep the wood secure only for this. idk I mean id that were the case wouldn't the curse had vanished when he broke Thanatos free? he was willing to die then just like against Caligula, so why now but not then?

Don reincarnating into a laurel is peak bittersweet feeling and it actually hurt because in a camp where fauns were seen as dumb and useless, he helped Lavinia organize everything and destroy the canon things on the yachts

I'm still not over Jason's death, he really did deserve better. It makes sense, plotwise, because out of all of the huge characters from the past, Jason, Percy and Annabeth's deaths would impact others the harder, and push them to do better. And I understand that you gotta show, not even the main characters survive sometimes. Still, I'm hurt.

Thalia talking to Apollo during the funeral for the fallen campers made me actually weep. I'm not sure if it was because of Jason, or when Thalia talked about how much Artemis loves Apollo, or when Apollo "accepted" halfblood children of Zeus as his family

Also, you know who deserved better? Harpocrates, damn right he deserved better. I nearly cried when I read his death, cause he embraced it like one would an old friend in happiness. He and the Sybil deserved better. Dakota also deserved better

On the other hand, I tried so hard not to laugh at 2 am as I read Tarquin demand answers from a cat? he genuinely thought a cat would tell him where the Sybilline Books where and I couldn't handle that

This book is cruel but in a much more human way? The maiming of the pegasi wings? that's horrifying, but in such a human way, unlike what we've seen in any of the greek/roman gods series, and it's unsettling

Meg is braver than any of the other demigods were at that age (maybe excepting Nico), cause she's not embarking on a quest to retrieve an item or rescue someone or bring back their sister from the dead, she's facing her own abusive father while aiding a somewhat weak mortal in releasing the oracles and gaining godhood back. what's she getting from it all? absolutely nothing, she's gifted some seeds and she hangs out with unicorns more than other people and she's lost everything, but she's willing to lose more to help her friend. she's heroic like no one else is, because she's the first who doesn’t want anything more than being with her friend (Percy wanted whoever was taken back, Annabeth wanted to be able to be more, Nico wanted to bring back Bianca, even Bianca wanted freedom). the only other person who didn't have somewhat selfish (but kot wrong) interests while doing something heroic at a young age has been Hazel. What I mean is I love Meg and everything she does

Thalia being that chill over Jason's death bothers me so much, as if she wasn't the happiest when she found out the brother she lost 14 years ago was alive after all, and she had a part of her family back, and it was ripped from her, and Thalia is just not one to easily forget or move on from things, it's just unrealistic that she would only need a little furious session of throwing things to be okay with Jason's death as if her brother was not just taken from her all over again. it's impulsive Thalia we're talking about, who fought Percy when dealing with Annabeth going missing, it's just not her to be over his death that quickly. Sorry for Rick but I think differently

I also kinda don't like that Tyson went from being freaking General of the Cyclops, to the guy that has the Sybilline prophecies or whatever, it's important and all, but he would have been of great help during the battle and they had him waiting for help in the shrine hill like his potential went down the drain

but a thing I really loved was how different Camp Jupiter seems from Lester eyes compared from Percy's or Hazel's or Frank's perspective, it's hilarious. The other three see this place where everyone is serious and shit but Apollo just sees beyond the seriousness and it's actually refreshing, cause he's the first not to make CHB seem immature in comparison and like I said before I hated that in previous books

also Reyna laughing watered my plants, cured my depression, and made the world okay again, I just love her

all in all, this is my favorite book of ToA so far, and I'm really excited to see what's to come, and how Apollo and Meg will face Nero and Python, but more  than anything I'm looking forward to what will happen to Apollo, and whether if given the choice, he'd go back to being a selfish god or remain mortal for a while, with his newfound friends

Also I really miss Annabeth so can I please see Annabeth, I just want to see her cause she won't deal with Apollo's shit and I can't wait to see that, I miss my girl

[hyena-frog]

One of the most amazing scenes in Dark Age was when Darrow talked to Atalantia - he was broken emotionally after seeing his beloved wife and Sovereign trampled by the mob, but he never gave in, he still called out that devious bitch (btw, Darrow swears a lot in DA, that's how much shit escalated). It was glorious and heart-breaking at the same time. Darrow can compertimentalize his emotional baggage extremely well, but 😭😭😭 What are some Darrow DA acenes you loved?

That chapter was so hard to read. 😭 That chapter, and up until the moment when Virginia’s supplies finally arrived, was Darrow’s lowest emotional point in the whole book. (I nearly cried at the end of the chapter when he lay down to stare at the ceiling, clutching Pax’s key.) But Darrow kept it together, even while Atalantia gloated. I was fascinated that Atalantia complimented him (even though she was being totally gross about it), and said: “No betraying inflections. No microexpressions of grief. Simply obduracy, despite the dread clawing at the back of your eyes—a doomed army, a lost child, a dead wife... That is a Peerless Scarred...” (Page 283) Society Golds can call Darrow the “Slave King” and other derogatory things all they like, but even their dictator can acknowledge this lowly Red has a steel spine.

I like to think Darrow’s call outs both before and after Atalantia broke the news of what happened in the Senate got under her skin too. First he tells her she was Magnus’ least beloved daughter for her debauchery, then that she is afraid of Darrow and his army and of “becoming Pyrrhus.” I can’t help but notice the next time we see her private quarters, the meditation chamber has become austere and empty, almost like she took some of those words to heart and changed her frivolous decorations to something more in keeping with an Iron Gold. But that’s just me.

Compartmentalizing emotions is something Darrow does well, maybe too well, to the point even Sevro can get fed up with it (but that’s mostly on Sevro). But that trait is exactly what kept Darrow’s army afloat on Mercury. Even with his heart broken, he didn’t compulsively decide to give in to Atalantia’s demands nor did he decide to attack her in some suicide charge. He was able to think clearly enough to admit he can’t make an unbiased decision and left it up to his high command. It was both a sign of respect for his army and clear proof that he truly doesn’t believe in his own myth. He’s just a man. I think this is ultimately what pivots Harnassus to being 100% behind Darrow as leader. And what snaps Calloway out of his stupor after Orion’s death.

(Everyone swore a lot in DA. Shit escalated at an exponential rate. Darrow, Daxo, Core Golds like Cicero and Atlas. I’ve never seen so many “fucks” in this series. And little Electra got in a “cunt” or too. Whoever says Pax and Electra don’t act their age have obviously never met the same kids I have. 😂)

The simplest answer to your question about which Darrow scenes I loved, is all of them. I loved everything Darrow did in this book even though his story line was the heaviest overall. But I thought long and hard and came up with 5 scenes I enjoyed the most (presented chronologically, not ranked):

1) “We brush away light resistance at the downed Storm God.” (Page 134) I get such a thrill every time I read that line. It’s so funny (and satisfying) to read Darrow’s nonchalance after Lysander’s attempted stand against Darrow just a page before. Boy got his ass thoroughly thrashed. Meanwhile Darrow didn’t even know he was there. He had bigger fish to fry.

That said, this first point actually goes to the entirety of Darrow’s last chapter in Part I. Him running back and forth all over Heliopolis to help his army, to the point Harnassus thought the men must have taken hallucinogenics, because there is no way all of them saw Darrow during the battle, right? And Darrow having a heart attack from over-stimming and general exhaustion, but still wanting to fight. 😭 He’s so good. When Harnassus reached up to cup Darrow’s face, told him to rest, and that they will carry the rest, it was the first time I thought there was more to the man, which I’m glad paid off at the end.

And of course, Screwface’s legendary “Hic est Lupus, motherfucker.”

2) “Sevro’s Palace” — It was Darrow’s only moment of comedy in the whole book (aside from occasionally teasing Rhonna about Alex) and I cherish it. From Glirastes’ dramatics, to Rhonna refusing to go into Sevro’s room for the sardine side quest, to Darrow getting an ass full of needles because he didn’t think Sevro booby trapped his room (of course he did, boyo), to this part:

(Page 494) -chef’s kiss- It’s so good.

But then the comedy quickly turns heart-wrenching as Darrow is forced to truly reflect on Sevro’s absence for the first time since the end of Iron Gold. We learn a lot about Sevro through Darrow’s eyes, like Sevro’s soul being his armory, that is, his family. How Sevro being raised by an absent warlord affected him and informed his decision to leave for Luna. How Darrow understands the decision even if he doesn’t agree with it.

What ultimately gut-punched me good was how seeing Sevro’s soul laid bare like that made Darrow resolve to ask for his forgiveness, and to be a better husband and father.

3) “Meat Straw” — The infamous “twitching meat carpet” line is disgusting yet everyone remembers it. Just like Darrow’s violence throughout the finale. Horrific but beautiful in a way. But I like the very end of the chapter the best:

(Page 691) Why? Reaper laughing like that was hot. I don’t have a deep reason for everything. 😂

4) This one is technically cheating because it’s multiple scenes but, I liked each time Lysander acknowledged how cool or frightening or cunning Darrow was. Here are a couple specific examples from the final battle:

(Page 693) Really cool imagery comparing Darrow to a tiger.

(Page 695) “Red acrobatics” 👀👀👀

5) The final showdown between Darrow and Lysander. What I like to call the razor jousting scene. The two of them on giant sunblood horses, charging each other down a dark street, is just the coolest mental image this book gave me. Even though Lysander cheated with that extra razor, and it resulted in one of the most tragic casualties of the book (Darrow’s razor). I’m glad Lysander got a shattered arm out of it. Plus, Darrow remained seated despite his own shattered arm and a razor in his lung, while Lysander went flying, the Pixie.

Thank you for the ask!

[thenightling]

Summary of The Dreaming (issues 1 through 18)

We begin with a teaser in Dark Nights: Metal (November 2017).  After the dust has settled and The Library of The Dreaming has been restored Lucien notices a book missing and his lord Dream of The Endless (Daniel Hall).

The following happens in The Sandman Universe 1 and The Dreaming issues 1 through 18.

The Dreaming slowly deteriorates around their ears. The Dream entities (the subjects of The Dreaming) cannot find Dream of The Endless (The Sandman).  Matthew The Raven tries to find him but Daniel cuts off their psychic connection to avoid being found by his subjects.   

Dora, another entity, commonly called a Monsteress or Monstress (Someone should tell him monster is unisex) resides in The Dreaming.   She has a bit of a chip on her shoulder because Morpheus (Dream of The Endless) assured her that she was safe in his domain and she didn’t need to be afraid anymore.  She feels he lied to her.  It wasn’t long after his assurances that he “was killed” by The kindly ones and a new aspect (incarnation) of Dream of The Endless took the throne, Daniel.

Strange beings called Blanks or (as a pseudo-racial slur) “Soggies” are coming through a crack that has formed in The Dreaming.   Some dream entities, including Mervyn Pumpkinhead  (the grounds keeper of The Dreaming) are suspicious of these refugees coming through. (Incoming ham-handed political message).  

Lucien decides to “conserve” energy in The Dreaming by uncreating dream entities he deems useless.   He uses the helm of dream (because apparently that’s how this works now...) to uncreate Mervyn’s friends and crew men right on the steps of the castle.  Needless to say Merv was devastated and Lucien says “I did warn you.” before differentiating Uncreating and killing and acting as if being ucnreated is one of the finest things that could happen. (Take this as a bad sign.  I sure did.)  

Poor Lucien, The librarian’s mind was deteriorating, like someone with dementia. 

Dora befriends one of the blanks and names him Ziggy after Ziggy Stardust (The David Bowie persona).   Ziggy starts to develop his own autonomous personality and Dora realizes the blanks are made of dream-stuff and are like children just being born.

Disgruntled about the “uncreation” of his friends and feeling contempt toward The Blanks that took their job, Mervyn unleashes Judge Gallows.  Judge Gallows is a nightmare that Morpheus apparently created to prey on humanity’s fear of “The Other.”  Judge Gallows caused things like The Civil War and The Holocaust. (????????????  NOT OKAY!)

Judge Gallows discovers Lucien’s mental deterioration and uses it against him to take control over The Dreaming.   He starts having Merv pen up The Blanks and they even attempt lynching poor Ziggy.

Dora and Lucien flee to the realm of Destruction where Dora is able to wield the sword of Destruction (Which really should NOT be there but okay...)   This part is mostly filler, folks, but I’m writing it out anyway.    

Abel is talked into killing Cain, inverting their usual story routine. (Someone completely ignored the rule about Cain’s mark here...).  Cain doesn’t revive though.

There’s a brief run-in with Nuala the faery (as if someone forgot to put her into the story since she is in the concept art. Whoops).  And it’s implied she’s hidden some important item for Daniel after misleading Titania about a dreamstone. 

Nuala had been “Given” as a gift to Morpheus during the events of the original Sandman.  Morpheus, distrusting of faeries, and not liking slavery, was reluctant to accept, but knew if he refused it would mean war with the faery court.   He had allowed her to stay and ultimately paid her with a boon.   Nuala had an unrequited crush on Morpheus.   

 A strange A.I called Wan comes in and usurps Judge Gallows. Bye, Judge Gallows, no one cares.  However we get early hints that Wan is crazy or has an alternate personality that wants to destroy The Dreaming.  

Daniel makes a brief apologetic appearance to Lucien, who appears to be dying. (This gets drawn out.  He’ll be “on the brink of death” for several issues...)

Enter Rose Walker!  Finally we get a little coherence in the plot.   Rose hasn’t aged a day since she was saved from being The Dream Vortex by her grandmother, Unity. The Dream Vortex is a person whose mind is unusually connected to The Dreaming and whose very existence can cause their waking world to crash into The Dreaming, killing everyone on her planet.  Morpheus had not wanted to have to kill her but thankfully Rose’s grandmother had found another means for her to survive, by taking the essence of what makes her The Vortex into herself.

Rose is actually the granddaughter of Desire of The Endless.  Unity had been raped by Desire in a scheme to create a vortex because Desire wanted to put Morpheus in a situation where he would have to spill family blood.  If an Endless kills a member of their own family The Kindly Ones may hunt them. 

Ultimately this happened with Morpheus but not because of Desire impregnating Rose’s grandmother, but because Morpheus put his own son, Orpheus, out of his misery.  Lyta Hall had tried to invoke the kindly ones for the death of Daniel.   The kindly Ones tried to tell her that Morpheus did not kill Daniel, nor was he blood of The Endless (Yet...) but they informed her that Morpheus did kill his own son, (Orpheus) and that was reason enough for them.

Ironically this quest for revenge IS what made Lyta lose Daniel forever.  It ended with Daniel becoming the new aspect of Dream. 

 Now in present day Rose has a daughter, Ivy. Ivy is in her mid-twenties and works as a tattoo artist.  Rose had been pregnant by the time Daniel became Dream.   And though it’s technically incest with his own great-niece Daniel fell in love with this daughter, Ivy.  Daniel, posing as a human, had a strange, romantic relationship with Ivy.  

One scene that rubbed me the wrong way in this is when some men at a bachelor party catcalled Ivy it was implied that Daniel f--king murdered them by making them drown themselves.   (Morpheus hated the idea of killing and has a personal crisis every time he might have to do it. Daniel does it over catcalling...)   Rose is given visions by Desire of The Endless explaining what happens at this point.  Some of this isn’t explained until ten issues later but I’ll streamline this right here for you.

Many years earlier a man named Hyperion Keeter (very much modeled after Steve Jobs) was haunted by a Night Hag.  It turns out this Night Hag was Dora. He defeated the creature by telling her she was not real.   Dora, having an existential crisis, flees back to The Dreaming.   Here Morpheus found her and helped her.  To stabilize her fragile condition he hid something precious inside her. His own ruby dreamstone, made from a piece of his very soul).   It would exist inside her until the day she was strong enough to believe in herself, sustain herself, and rise above self-doubt.   Many creatures of dream (if not all) need to be believed in to sustain themselves or they weaken and fade.

Hyperion becomes obsessed with dreams.  He believes that dreams are the source of all the world’s superstition, fear, and religion and as such the source of all human cruelty, bigotry, and irrationality- things like witch hunts, religious wars, persecution of the LGBT community over “religious reasons.”   He thinks if he takes control over the world’s dreams he can save it.  

Decades pass.  He gets occultists and corporate followers who agree with his scheme but probably for less noble reasons (more world domination than anything else).  Hyperion’s followers learn that Daniel is courting Ivy.  They get a hold of a lock of Ivy’s hair and use it to control her.         While under this magical enthralment Ivy is used to put a geas tattoo on Daniel’s back.  The tattoo is a composite of a solomonic figure and a dreamcatcher, things Daniel believes hold power and so they do.   

Daniel thinks this is a strange accident caused by the fact that Ivy had wanted to tattoo him and she had cried and cried when he refused to allow it before.   (No means no, bitch.  The character IVy, before being under the enthralment, threw a hissy fit because she didn’t respect his autonomy when Daniel didn’t want a tattoo.  And we were supposed to sympathize with her trying to force body modification!)  

Unable to explain what’s wrong, because of the geas, Daniel accepts a cup of tea from Ivy, while they sit on a beach, but Rose has a vision from Desire, warning her that the tea is magically poisoned. She tries to stop Daniel from drinking it but it’s too late.  He’s badly weakened.     

At first Daniel believes Ivy deliberately betrayed him and he has a major temper tantrum resulting in mortals around them mutilating themselves.   (Seriously, can we have Morpheus back now?!???)

Rose slapped sense into Daniel (he deserved it) and Daniel goes to figure out what’s going on.   At Fawny Rig (the mansion where Morpheus had been held prisoner a century earlier) Daniel lets out his rage on the occultists there and finds out how they controlled Ivy.  The house is now owned by Hyperion’s company.  Daniel goes to make amends with Ivy but it’s too late. Ivy has ODed on prescription drugs.   She’s alive but brain dead. Daniel declares that she’s only asleep and flees with her. 

Daniel gives Hyperion a dream warning him of what would really happen if he’s successful in the destruction of myth, fantasy, and wonder.  Horrified by what he sees, Hyperion tries to undo what he has done but his own followers turn on him.  He’s physically fragile (dying of cancer), and eventually is put on a life support system.  Most of the world already thought he was dead anyway.

Rose tells the story to semi-unconscious Lucien.  Lucien ends up back in The Dreaming where he finds his library has been replaced with a digitized archive (easier to destroy).  Wan (the A.I.) thinks this digital library with no books is more convenient with Lucien’s fading memory and Wan actually believes they are doing good.  Wan doesn’t know that part of them is like a virus slowly eating away at The Dreaming.    

Abel knows the truth. Abel captures Matthew and removes his own eyes, inserting them into Matthew’s eye sockets. (Yup, human-like eyes hanging out of a bird. This lasted three issues too long...)  Abel can grow back his eyes.  He does this so Matthew can see the truth and to sever his connection with Wan (who is now ruler of The Dreaming).  Because psychic links now work by optic nerves, I suppose.  I know it’s “dream logic” but no, not really.  The blind can’t have a psychic connection?!?  “My Lord, why can’t I feel you?” the last words of the griffon when he was killed by The Kindly Ones.   He wasn’t feeling him with his eyes!    

Lucien comes to Abel, begging for death.   Mervyn and the other dream entities show pity on Lucien and bury him, in the hope that he’ll be reabsorbed by The Dreaming.   Lucien has tea with Death.     

Dora eventually tracks down the source of what’s destroying The Dreaming right into Hyperion’s bedroom.  Here she finds Cain “living” inside a computer security system.  Hyperion’s men had found Cain’s essence and uploaded him into this machine, somehow.  Cain informs Dora of the part of the story she didn’t know.   And he tricks her into shutting down Hyperion’s life support system. Poor Hyperion had wanted to set things right, knowing what he did was wrong.

While Hyperion is in his death dream, Abel and Matthew are able to escape into The waking World.

Rose Walker was on a bus carrying her mother’s corpse back home.   Her literally brain-dead daughter had been abducted by Daniel and her own mother just passed away from cancer, so Rose is numb and confused while the world is going to Hell because humans are losing their minds without their dreams.

Rose has another vision of Desire. There have been some subtle hints that this might not be Desire at all.  For starters we never see the whole face.  The eyes are always hidden.  Second, this Desire always comes to her in dreams.   And there are not-so-subtle nods to The Sandman: Overture where Desire had disguised themself as Dream in cat form and Morpheus had mistaken this cat as another aspect of Dream of The Endless.  If Desire can be mistaken as Dream, Dream can be mistaken as Desire.  There’s a rising chance this “Desire” is actually Morpheus.  They can’t be Daniel.  One of the visions came while Daniel was about to drink poisoned tea.

“Desire” coaxes Rose to take the initiative and use her own Desire-based powers. She steals the greyhound bus she was riding to get to Hyperion’s manor.   

Abel and Matthew had gotten through to The Waking World by Hyperion’s death dream but some newly reprogrammed blanks, serving Wan, follow them.  Dora recognizes one of these blanks as Ziggy, her friend.   He still has the lightning bolt mark on his face.  They are there to unmake dream entities and Ziggy almost successfully destroys Dora before coming to his senses and remembering who she is to him.

Abel’s eyes in Matthew’s head don’t work anymore in the waking world “because Dream Logic.”  So Abel gives Matthew back his raven eyes. (Thank God!)

Abel confronts Cain and reminds him of how they need each other.  Being the keeper of secrets Abel successfully hacks into the computer system holding Cain and allows him to escape and kill Abel (who always gets better), thus setting their story right. They both go home.       

Almost destroyed, Dora lays dying.   Rose comes in and tells Dora she must believe in herself and allows Dora to feed on her fear. It’s surprisingly sensual and intimate.

During the feeding it’s revealed that Morpheus hid his ruby dreamstone in Dora.  Dora is fully healed and comes to her senses holding the ruby dreamstone.   Poor Rose is The Dream Vortex again.

Dora opens the way back to The Dreaming.   She’s followed by Matthew and the blanks, including Ziggy.  Here a small army of dream entities have gathered with Lucien as righteous preacher who has had an encounter with Death and spoke with “HIM” and he knows what they must do now.  He seems a bit crazed and the figures behind him look an awful lot like the versions of dream from The Sandman Overture. 

And that’s where we currently are.  No, I did not explain any events from The House of Whispers, Lucifer, Books of magic, or John Constantine: Hellblazer. That would have made this much longer.   And that’s where we are now.  I think I remembered everything.

@vagaryhexxx   This is for you.        

[lovedinapastlife]

Riverdale Reaction 3x15 - “American Dreams”

Riverdale: Where dreams go to get punched in the face. But there’s also cake. And Bughead. So...it’s not all bad.

I want to hug this boy. FP and Jug havin’ a bondin’ moment. MY HEART! Cue me dramatically head-banging to “Your Love is Just a Lie” thanks to Gladys and JB Jones, amazing actresses in their own right.

“This house is my past, and I just want to be done with it.” Oof, FP is part of Alice’s past. BURN. Also, sappy me loves how concerned Jughead is for Betty’s feelings and the soft way he looks at her all the time.

I think some of their conversation on the stairs was cut, but it would be awkward for Betty to just…stay in her room with the mom-in-law she’s barely met. I hope Jug takes it and keeps it as a Betty shrine and talks to Archie through the window on those string-cup phones XD

No food in the Pop’s scene? I’m aghast.

Okay why are Toni’s boobs in my face? Is this a metaphor? And the trip conflict seems like poor planning on everyone’s part. I thought Cheryl was part of the Pretty Poisons but Toni’s talking about them like she’s not? Mehhhh?

Is Reggie just a doorman now?

Wow. The Pretty Poisons are possibly the worst security team. Karoake-ing instead of standing guard? Also, I’m creeped out by the Lodge/Topaz angle.

Did they cut a storyline from Falice this season, because I don’t remember them doing much more than the occasional hookup and vaguely wondering if their children had been murdered. At least FP acknowledges he probs wasn’t the greatest partner and feels like he owes it to his family to try with Gladys.

“You have been nothing…” VERONICA LODGE. You treat that boy with his due respect! Is her dream to literally run an empire by herself now?

“I know what I’m worth. You should know it too.” Yes, Reggie! YAS!

“No one walks on water in my place, except me” — did that make sense to someone? Or is it meant to paint Veronica as super self-centered right now? Because when Veggie started, it seemed like she understood he was a good influence and lackey and was receptive to that. Like, he’d boost her up. Not siphon stuff out. Even if she’s going out with him to essentially use him, Hermione would’ve approved, and since that seems to be the ridiculous story arc they’re going with, let Veggie be healthy! Damn!

Aw baby Jug worried about his mom’s motivations. Not a single conversation since she’s been back? Also Jug’s face during, “Sounds nice. Is it true?” melts my heart. I mean, did he expect her to come clean? I dunno. She’s good, though, as a charming villain. Pretending she wants the fam together again.

OH MY GOD. “The best damn Sheriff Riverdale’s ever had.” My face was prety much Jughead’s. KELLER IS THE MAN who has lost evidence, purposely ignored investigating because he “might” know the murderer, wrongfully imprisons/takes in people, and repeatedly lost people in holding cells to murder/suicides. But yeah. Best Sheriff. Compared to Minetta? Why not?

Are there enough living officers to even be paired with Serpents? I was under the impression they tend to fall asleep and be terrible or dead XD The FP and Jug police car scene was nice, actually. Character! Yes! More of this!

Reggie…”I put on suspenders! I wear a nice shirt! Why didn’t I get the girl like Jughead did?!” I don’t have an answer for you, buddy. That doesn’t do it for your girl/s, I guess. Looks nice to me though ^-^

Thank goodness for Betty, making sure Archie isn’t impaled by a bunch of guys in costumes. I’m not surprised she doesn’t care/remember about King of the Mountain or whatever but this memory suppression/loss thing is just another thing to toss onto the toppling pile of “things I worry about for B. Cooper.”

Girls having sleepovers, drinking hot chocolate and talking about life is where it’s AT. Also I love the contrast of Betty’s cotton PJ’s and Veronica’s silk.

Hrmrmrmr okay. I love the drip noise in the bg of the “source” scene. THEY READ EACH OTHER SO WELL! I wish the show allowed them more small moments like the tilts of their chins and deep longing looks like this. I love Betty for protecting Veronica’s safety without compromising the seriousness of her situation, and that Jughead reluctantly but definitely believes her.

I did not like the way he shut her out of it to confirm his mom’s shadiness on his own. Not letting her help in season 2 did not end up in a good place. Hrmph. Don’t like it. *folds arms* Don’t like that at all. (and yes, I know they’re still trusting and in a good place but this is a REACTION piece so ya know)

I love Hiram’s little “Oh, Archie? You need shady hideouts to deal with the assassins I sent? I’ve got plenty!”

Haha they are so dramatic making Paladin death match invites with a typewriter and scroll. Like, what?! Oof Jughead’s so sad his mom is probably doing something

“Keep your arm candy off my damn property.” *pat pat* Wow. I thought Veronica was super far away from paying Gladys and Hiram off? Like a kajillion dollars off? Reggie deserves his car but I’m glad Gladys didn’t do to him whatever she did to Penny.

“Only to win, of course” Cheryl looks fierce in her ridiculous red dress and spider brooch. Now that Toni’s got a steady paycheck she’s not so keen on stealing for no reason, eh?

Jughead is a giant fabulous nerd and I enjoy his monologues. I also love the wacky wrestling vibe I’m getting. OH! FISTS ONLY, BITING JERKFACE. Disqualified!

Cheryl is such a bitch. I can’t. Veronica is supposedly her friend, right? One of the people who showed her sympathy during her lowest point? But this is the second time she’s robbed the Lodges. And why? Because she gave Toni (and by extension, CHERYL and the Poisons) the opportunity to make some $?

I tried to fast forward through the Choni sex scene and ending up having to watch the whole thing anyway because I had no idea what was happening in the Archie fighting scene XD Did they just bring a blindfold IN CASE? and the music was fun but the intercut with violence was typical Riverdale awkward. At least we could actually see them? RIverdale sex scenes are usually so dark!

“ENTER THE KRAKKEN!” Omg only this show. Precious beans celebrating Archie winning were precious.

This Choni breakup is weird. Kinda a bizarre non-conversation about priorities.

Haha Hiram is so proud of his quest abilities. I’m surprised he didn’t go to cheer for blood. Is this “businesses run by teens” season in Riverdale? I was happy with the Blue and Gold, but hey--have them run gangs, law enforcement, speakeasies, and gyms too. Why the hell not?

“I wanna matter…” REGGIE! Oh, honey. At least she got him his car back. Oof. I feel bruised on his behalf.

There’s a lot more stuff on the fridge! You know of my obsession! A poodle? Why? Why is a Pop’s postcard on there with a picture of the lemon? XD Oh man Gladys hitting low with “I did it for your dad and if you tell, it’ll break him.” Honestly, it’s a little hard to tell what’s the truth and what’s a spin with her about their past. Either way, they’ve created a great tension.

Haha ok there is a solo cup booze fountain at this party and I think they made it yellow-gold as if that makes it classy? It’s hilarious.

FP you big nerd why would you bring up the infamous birthday party? I think he remembers it as a cute gesture, which is hilarious. Bughead match in their cute soft sweaters! I love this look.

Oh man I cried when Fred gave him a hug and talked about everyone has their own path. This shooow. That maaaan <3 Even FP’s moments of not feeling like he deserves this or “something’s not right” were great, like spinning the star with his name written on it (Betty’s handiwork? or one of V’s underlings?)

JUGGIE’S SPEECH! BRAVO! The extra-long hug with FP and glare at Gladys was oddly satisfying, and the “Wanna help?” Delicious. SIGN ME UP FOR HEATHERS. I LOVE IT!

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[fgodestinyawakenings]

Solomon Singularity: Section 14~End

YAS, THE FINAL POST AND FINAL HALF AGAINST GOETIA!!! This has been long week of queue post on the final singularity... A painful and sad yet also the best ending no one could ever asked for the closure on the first half of the FGO main story... Let’s welcome and finish it to the end!

Section 14

Running out of the throne back towards throne, Da Vinci urged us to get to the gate quickly before we disappeared into the light with the Singularity.

Jeanne announcing to all Servants that we’ve won at last. Though it was a shame everyone left early... At least Gilgamesh still stick around. or giving the words to Jeanne we’ll take care of everything in our hands for humanity

Though.. At his final words, because Beast Class behave like a chain of reaction... The Final Evil supposedly Beast VII will show up eventually.

But... As we hurried... WHAT?! GOETIA IS STILL ALIVE?! And before us now in a human form... A final fight to end this came... With the pride at stake for humanity, own future and lives... We witness the final fight to return humanity back to normal!

With the final strike... Goetia vanished completely, complimenting human life may be short but it’s also fascinating to the end. As we tried to reach for the gate with pathway collapsing... 

Mash? Her hand stretched out to us as we finally reyshifted out of the temple!

Section 15

At somewhere in the void, Mash meets a strange being who grants her back to life. As her tasks has yet to be completed, a Beast introduced themselves... Cath Palug aka Fou, revealed himself to be the Beast Class known as Primate Murder.

At the price of bringing back Mash’s life, Fou will lose his own personality and will to become a normal animal instead. While Mash cried out to him, Fou congratulates Chaldea for defeating him with no blood needed to be shed...

Back with the familiar opening sequence... Mash.... She really did came back to life. Da Vinci greeting us as we returned Chaldea in peace! As she congratulates..... And avoiding the dead person... Looks like things will be busy for the coming EOR and future ahead

As the mission is to go outside... We finally the clear blue sky of our time, without Solomon’s band of rings to incinerate humanity. The first part of our journey has come to an end at last...!

Though before it ends, Da Vinci remembers her conversation with Romani during America Singularity. Looks like Da Vinci knew all along about Romani’s trump card... And his own true identity. Romani also talked about his own past as King Solomon’s own personality... And how eventually Romani’s name came to be.... Knowing things will be in good hands, Romani entrusted the future of Chaldea and humanity into our hands

Observation & Thoughts:

Other than the raids against those stupid pillars.. This is much easier when you really do bring Herc-chan for the final fight

Definitely proud and happy that no Command Seals were used to complete this final Singularity!

Pillars themselves:

Just bring your best and highest bond level and borrowed support to complete

Each of them are personally a big bitch, especially Halphas, who the fuck crits 24/7 for a pillar!

Preferably to deal with them each... Bring your best bond level Berserker, ST NP preferred, to one shot them

Raid wise after trying out.... I really lost motivation because unless this is Rashomon or so... My motivation went straight zero since I prefer not doing something like this for a main quest OTL But hey, drop rates are good since Barbatos still died and bullied the most till the very end!

Goetia: King of Demon Gods

Servant with skill seal fucking works! PLease do fucking bring them and NP charge/instant use so that he doesn’t nuke your whole team!

But this fight is the most scariest because Herc-chan was soloing during 3/4 of his HP

Nevertheless by his final guts from skill.... He deal the finishing blow onto him!

But yeah, Ozzy and Quetz or those with NP seal are more preferred in this fight 

Goetia: King of Humans

If you can’t time when he decided to use his suicide attack... Stall long enough until he decided to use it!

I went with George, Kintoki, Waver support, Jeanne, Ozymandias and Herc-chan

And surprisingly... MVP is actually George he actually stalled until nearly half of his HP before dying

With Jeanne coming in though I didn’t use her NP, their defense is just practically there since it’s taking forever to Goetia to kill either one

His suicide attack was used on Turn 14 nearing to 99k HP left, so after killing them...

Ozzy and Herc-chan came out, with Ozzy dealing the final brave chain overkilled damage to him!

It varies on people again (which is fucking rng itself), so if you can get the timing to put up guts... Have him stalled long enough to kill only your first five Servants, leaving the last Servant to deal the killing blow

Now that this is over... Time to go back to grinding hell and interludes to complete before Moon Goddess rerun! :D

[triumphorce]

under umbras of bundles  of stars,

canopies of leaves & branches that shatter-scatter sky image held indirect

as a gleam in eyes

as conscious lay in fabricated gardens watching memories, & desires in dream form

from across highway covered by

blue-white, 

yellow,

& orange lights

sound of tires, mufflers, sirens, 

amidst a higher sense 

attuned to

muffled far cries muffled while crossing empty lands

filled with chilling wind howls, stealing hope, 

which

kickstarts the power on survival mode..

ups& downs 

drown the cries further,

that

war, warn, or cheer..

or just sing..

maybe

a hymn made by souls for souls under same umbra to set free to lead to wonder & beauty beyond the surface of senses directly to free to seek love loss between me and me

buried beneath  road of longest journey to reach

turn feet all around

all about a world I have no idea about

just mad ideas about Kept in journals i turn over

to all but from in front of views not yet exploited by value of which is, views are power,  & are the will in word- to-page transaction

self diminished to substantiate

entries from entrails, not shown to be conquered

win or lose is how I never saw things.

win or win, only optionss, only progress..

yet..,always over complicating;

marathon sprints from start to finish

as I choose, If i choose, to continue to choose to overlook slopes in existence, where hides I, in ruins, digging for recognition

contribute to a mind overloading with what I know I owe society, &me,

burden of see-through beast, I see illusions of future thru,mistaken as truth, play victim, get stressed or believe I'm down on luck ,in dumps of depression and slum of beliefs,

 in a slump with headphones on temple and music up, reminisce about the golden olden, me and broseph, SSB, PSO, kanto, johto, cartoon cartoons, many one saturday morning’s, plenty cinnamon toast, fruity pebbles, so many card games at Books-a-million

but when I open eyes from trance

I'm forever face to face with today is today

not then not later...

just

 changes who changed how I changed regret and anger to compensate for blaming everybody but me

now I stare afraid at dilemmas mass effect decisions

 daily in-and-out-terventions

to keep from falling back into resentment.. spite blinding shelves of subconscious-self- disappointed perpetuating judgment of others binding progression, tying tongue, boiling blood because old habits die hard and I continue fucking up, up raging rapids w/o a paddle,   almost 3 decades of failing infinite (according to projections) feel I missed and am missing out on so much, so much world, so many words coiled inside, waiting to explode,

all the time, just like everybody.. everything mind sets sights on turns to target issue     how unfortunate for aforementioned coordinates, for anyone close enough for me to put in poems' , important enough to torment conscious over, used to be everybody, used to be nobody, used to be just some people, now its just me and i dont know him

   attempts to speak, to learn again, to teach me about me       to learn to teach                     myself, to set example for ambition directed toward a better version, better verses, better reimbursement of time given tryna be an extrovert, free from bitter, free from bitch asses, set internal standards to never  get fucked with again, fuck you, fuck him, fuck her, i only fucks with a journal & question  everyone,  everything, every word, every whisper, shit ima tell my children every day, breakfast lunch dinner,  do your best and fuck the rest, get it, get lit off enlightenment, fuck rest, save roosting for death, dont look at me, looknat the sky, seize the day in everyway brain permits, dont reach for others' and if anyone tries to take yours, that means they dont fundamentally respect life, so always permeate passion, ignore distractions keeping you from creating, test limits, test intentions, challenge imperfections with wisdom, know that perfect is just cosmetics, but i remain quiet.. remain tied up being alone, wondering..           whether I'm right to do any god damn thing        'cause if I don't do it right..       was I right to think I could, wrong to think I understood

am i wrong not to try?

what of what's sacrificed ?

how do i keep count

how did I end up here       in standby...

standing squeamish & deer eyed in light of opportunities rising in horizon of night skies, to step in to obtain warmth, maintain from days before, to do something, do the one thing, but when will I be ready will eyes be ready to comprehend right or wrong

only me, here. only us, on planet.

only who's responsible? how is who is affected by, afflicted by? when is too late? when is just right, always too soon to tell and.. if I don't do it now, then why expect change..

why, why, why

'cause I expect anything at all

anger toward unmanned vehicles imminent to collide with mine

driven mad up eighty-five degree angled walls during rush hour, sun beaming heat into ride, where i travel on path, thru battlefield of past where fallen intentions decompose to ignorance and wisdom sprouts in the mean time.. I'm in between times, feelin down, down down down down by the way

a trail thru fears past dead ends, rotting trees, looks like fallout hit

a past I try an' forget..

but remember out of reluctance 

to accidentally revisit regret,

stand next to biggest fears,  see if facing them uproots soul

rolls ideas in head, non-stop

like trolls troll under bridges 

to which billy goat gruff temper charges like crono's katana on zenan crossing,

lodes of odes to oaths, lightning loaded, aimed at negative minded sapiens bioshocks via rhythm and syntax, cryo cascades of ideas, locked away in moleskine or computer files to put to rest the rest of an inside in arrest to judgment, in side quest of public playthrough, i feel im on public display, static complaining in front of pretty much strangers   modes of awareness to mental problems i exploit to people who might not think im crazy, who might like what i write, might like to write about the same thing, might see giants in those same nodes i stand near, i hear crisp crackles filling an awkward air as i stare at words on sheets that i might tear, might let collect dust, or share prolly might be quiet, only sound is poetic drafts that fill in under open windows, I open slowly, cool rush, goosebumps, awake aware always, even when mind is a crinkled, crumbled candy wrapper still just construct wrinkles in time via           hairs stand, ovation, and encores to

     helping to cross over doubts, screams of slander, stop it all, right now, shed truth in another light, fed through veins like pen's ink to go over and correct vision of pinheads vane turnin art, free thought to cash and competition, trade purpose blow for blow with obstacles in the name of the next step, over opponents, trade nervous for nerves robust to withstand standing up to stretch and spread chest to stand up for work where time invested is braided circulation    goin in circles,        time wasted pet peeve number 1

    a nowhere never felt before        but something seems familiar.. overlooked,   under yards, under pressure of bone leverage, give life a lift thru cracks of a collapsing effort stretched behind chest and ribs

a heart glows in

hot coal hues hearth warmth under carbon sheets

till blood boils till steam coils from pores to kill the cold along roads

sun or none

no light above, isn't lack of.. 

(look inside)

----

harsh heat of reality hot enough to feel cold

make me go ghost in dark times..

friction strong enough to spark moist..

continue until i sear nerves disembody fromm pain till im felt by meta-form of others

heartfelt arcs between soul and soul-mind 2 mind

light releases thru iris folds spectacle in spectacles----

spectrum wheel of emotions spins &spins to  understand self an urge that intensifies the more  i live life as well as I can Improve every day, no excuse, don't ignore the corners, get behind my ears,every nook and cranny in creative muse-um, uhm, duh, raised on books, nintendo, animation,& wishbone, outside, only myself as playdate, use every square inch as play-scape under every hair in head, a mind uses face and body as way to create 4 fourever& vice versa to escape who ever & know I can do whenever, wherever

wherever i go, a voice in mind goes

that keeps on talkin , keeps me talkin tellin me I've talk--, wrote enough hoped enough to last a lifetime, but that's not enough

and I still got a lifetime

to either solidify or fuck it up

gradually let go of 

to concentrate on life's finest moments i build to build form in appreciation, saying get up, enjoy the sun rays breaching clouds just before dawn; gett off yo butt and do what you know what you taught you to do when you were at multiple low points and you promised you, you'd never fall to end, even if you fall again, again, and again, never stall in the middle of  takeoff stop in middle of road, cant press play if you lost remote, might as well get up and do it, crawl, run or walk away when the times calls to brawl dark-inner energy only honorable mentions defend health during dishonorable discharge of nega, into rivers, into blue sky.. bordered by white clouds and linear silver

a safe place, work space, desk clerk sifting day to day thru file cabinets memories in memos in notebook; written relativity explaining how I see, what I think say what i want like im eight, glad i spent so much time with words and space-bars,   to escape judgment, hatred,

anxious surrounded by bad vibes

above an Earth, below expectations; over a self under surveillance by approval from inside, crazy dimensions, On the fence between people and myself I close eyes, ride waves of nostalgia once more..

see plenty light to traverse pathways, walk fer hours, walk like back in younger days, playin, runnin, completely captivated immersed in games played, tv, roller blades, monopoly, scary stories, trampolines

&10thousand songs later, 10million thoughts later, here I am doing what I made me to.

can't wait for the next chance

supplied energy through lines to hidden gracelands.

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Arthur Dayne, Smiling Knight- Jaime’s Journey in ASOS

“The boy had wanted to be Ser Arthur Dayne, but someplace along the way he had become the Smiling Knight instead.” - Jaime VIII, ASOS 

This is Jaime Lannister’s big thesis, the one that every person who’s ever read a “good to evil” arc is familiar with- you either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. 

Jaime, at age 34, has been “the villain” of the story since he was 17, and though when we first see him he is the king-like twin of the queen, we don’t really remember much about Jaime before the famous line “The things I do for love.” Another of Jaime’s theses, it’s what defines him up to his fateful bath with Brienne. Jaime Lannister is the tool of love- that is, the tool of his lover-twin, and to a lesser degree, his father. Cersei commands him to do something, so Jaime does it, even if it is tossing a seven year old out a window, or killing a ten year old girl. 

Look. No one ever said Jaime isn’t one MAJORLY fucked up sisterfucker.

Jaime Lannister, as has been noted by others, is a person with a very weird combination of PTSD, total lack of autonomy, and the brain of a 17 year old. Jaime never grew past killing Aerys, right up to his imprisonment when, cut off from Cersei, he falls into a deep dark depression that he only really emerges out of when he goes back to save Brienne. During this depression, Jaime spends about a year and a half entirely within his own mind, which is why Jaime’s 33 year old mind in ASOS is significantly different from Jon’s 16 year old mind in ASOS. Jaime gets the chance to examine his past, completely uninterrupted. Cersei’s not wrong to think he came back changed in ways other than just the missing hand- Jaime had the chance to finally be older than seventeen in those two years he was away. He has changed. 

Jaime, from ages fifteen through seventeen, acts as our window into the court of 281-283, the years most ASOIAF fans will recall as the years of Robert’s Rebellion. Through his flashbacks we get to see Rhaella’s misery, Aerys’s madness, Rhaegar’s galantry and carelessness, Arthur Dayne’s all-around Stellarness (heh) as we won’t see again until Barristan in ADWD. The Targaryen Court of 281-283 was Fucked Up in ways that Robert’s 298 court can really only dream of. And Jaime’s still there in his mind, still sixteen, forced to be silent and still, watcher and witness as a king rapes his queen and plots the demise of all those around him. Jaime comes away from this deeply troubled and deeply traumatized, helped along by his codependent relationship with his twin and an utter lack of validation from friends, family, and strangers. The very instant Jaime strikes Aerys down, one of the single most heroic and knightly things ever done in this series, Jaime becomes a villain in the eyes of his peers. Normally when one slays the wicked beast one becomes king and is paraded through the streets and given the fairest maid as a bride, but Jaime receives none of this. Jon sees the Kingslayer sweep off his helmet and thinks this is what a king should look like and Jaime’s mind agrees. The hell did Robert do but kill the Silver Prince, sanction the murder of children, and rape Jaime’s sister? Robert should be the villain- he stole Jaime’s prize for putting up with Aerys as long as he did! HE STOLE CERSEI!

A Smiling Knight is born- antithesis and answer for knighthood in one, gallant and chivalrous and mad. 

Elsewhere, in Dorne, at the base of Rapunzel’s Tower, Ned Stark slays another Smiling Knight: Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning, Jaime’s mentor, co-conspirator in the kidnapping and rape of Lyanna Stark. Who knows what went on in that Tower? Lyanna is dead, her ghost nothing but a blue rose growing from a chink in a wall, the two other kingsguard dead, slain for keeping Ned from his sister, and Arthur Dayne, dead at the hands of a northern lord and a crannogman. Four humans came away from the Tower of Joy, and only one is still alive for certain to tell us what happened. The Tower of Joy is another place where fates interwove, just like the Trident, just like Aerys’s throne room, just like Craster’s Keep, the Fist of the First Men, Harrenhal, Volantis, Meereen, Old Town’s High Tower, Winterfell; the Tower of Joy is a horror story. Woe betide any whose storyline crosses its path! The Tower of Joy is a brand of death. 

Fifteen years pass. Jaime does not grow, but he becomes the father of future kings, husband-in-nature of a queen, beautiful and strong and hated by all. When he rides up, all fall silent but for the whisper of Kingslayer, Kingslayer, Kingslayer. Beauty and Beast in one. 

Jaime is captured by a widow and a king. Jaime is separated from his queen, and he finally begins to grow after the long winter of his mind that was the Long Summer. 

ENTER BRIENNE. 

Brienne the Beauty, Brienne the Blue, Brienne the Maid of Tarth! Yellow hair, the texture of straw, blows in the wind over banners of blue and rose, and men whisper Kingslayer, Kingslayer, Kingslayer once more. Beauty and Beast in one. 

They loathe each other, for Brienne is not a Kingslayer. Brienne is a witness. Brienne has been the recipient of violence and hatred, misogyny and sexism, and yet she refuses to back down. “I am a knight!” Brienne cries. “WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL SEVEN HELLS WOULD YOU WANT TO BE?!” Jaime screams back, as Rhaella cries for her brother’s mercy. They battle, parrying to and fro, innocence and experience, idealism and broken dreams, Maiden and Warrior. SanSan sues for plagarism. 

ENTER THE MONSTER. 

Two knights are captured, bound to each other. “The Lovers” they are named, and lovers they will be, but not yet. A lion is maimed, a monstrously cruel act, leaving him bewildered and saddened. A maid is nearly raped, over and over, but for the promise of sapphires. Our heroes are led to the Monster’s Lair, an old castle, twisted and evil, a Thin Place where none ought dare to tread. 

The villain monologues. The reveal comes: I am a monster because you believe me to be one. The Smiling Knight dies a little and as he dies, a piece is offered up: a thunderous whisper, a demand of validation and respect, “MY NAME IS JAIME!” roars a lion. 

“Kingslayer,” sneers the world.  

Jaime rides away, Jaime is reminded of his failure, Jaime decides “fuck this, my name is Jaime fucking Lannister bitches”, Jaime returns to save our fair maiden from a monstrous bear. Our heroes continue on toward the Grand Palace. The maid is too late to complete her quest. Jaime sends her off with a new sword and a new quest. “I am a knight!” Brienne cries. “That you are,” Jaime responds. He smiles as the blue maid goes off on her quest. He wonders if he will ever see her again. He will. 

Jaime is alone. He sees corruption, he whispers “my name is Jaime” and counsels a young man. He sees a monster dead, he whispers “my name is Jaime” and ignores the death of his child. He sees an innocent man set to die, he whispers “my name is Jaime” and he frees his son’s murderer.  

“My name is Jaime,” declares a knight. He is not Arthur Dayne yet, but he is no longer the Smiling Knight. 

Jaime does good things, Jaime does cruel things. Jaime is finally growing. Perhaps he is growing towards his own destruction, but he is growing nonetheless.  

[theotherwesley]

Wesley Watches And Rates All The Faust Operas

You thought I was kidding, but here we are: 

*I am not an expert, and my advice should never be followed.  I am but a humble nerd with a passion, dragging you along on my youtube-tour. You probably shouldn’t quote me, but using this as a starting point and guide to this particular musical and literary phenomenon is encouraged! The information below was gleaned largely from wikipedia, vague memories of my BA degree, and my own assessment of the source materials.

My ratings are based on my subjective enjoyment, and a few preferential criterion such as:  1) Was Mephistopheles fuckable, 2) Did I get to see an orgy of witches, 3)Does Marguerite pass the Sexy Lampshade Test, and 4) Was Faust Dragged to Hell.

Preliminary Notes: originally, the legend of Doctor Faust came from the sixteenth century and was inspired by one man (or possibly two who were later conflated), Johann SpidersGeorg Faust, who was your average practitioner of Renaissance Magic. He was not an especially savory individual; he had racked up quite a criminal record and been boastful enough of his “christlike” abilities to heal the sick and perform miracles that he’d seriously annoyed the church. He was denied entry into a city due to accusations of Necromancy and Sodomy. Being an alchemist, Faust got up to some particularly adventurous chemistry experiments, the last of which failed so spectacularly that his lab exploded and the doctor was reduced to his component parts. His remains after death were so gruesome that his colleagues came to the obvious conclusion: He’d been personally dragged to Hell by Satan himself. AND THUS WAS A LEGEND BORN.

The story of Faust was told and disseminated in sixteenth century chapbooks (early printing-press zines, if you will) as a dramatic morality tale. It is from the chapbooks we originally get the character of Mephistopheles, the pact exchanging 24 years of service for the soul, the famulus named Wagner, the wild adventures through various courts, and the conjuration of Helen of Troy. Aside from in the chapbooks, there is one version of Chrisopher Marlowe’s play Doctor Faustus, where the titular character is torn asunder by demons as he is dragged to hell-- but unfortunately for me, a known B-movie horror enthusiast-- this ending appears in no subsequent retellings of the Faust legend. Cowards.

Goethe’s play Faust is obviously the most famous adaptation of the legend, and through it the legend turns from a cautionary tale to a story of hubris, love, faith, and philosophy. If you’re not already familiar with Faust, you might take a moment to read it or at least check out the act summaries. You’ll understand everything that references it a lot better if you do, even if you just read Part I (the second part gets a bit tedious unless you have a fetish for Herodotus and metaphysics-- but there’s a cute homunculus in a bottle! and talking sphinxes and griffons! and kinky rose petals! Angel butts!!!). 

 Armed with this knowledge, let the opera tour begin:

Faust (1816, Louis Spohr)

--The Libretto with English translation 

--Playlist of the whole opera

It’s very pretty! The style and over-all sound reminds me of a Mozart opera, which, I guess, is not too surprising considering they were more or less contemporaries who trained and worked in similar circles. (Louis Spohr! He did collaborations with Beethoven! He invented the violin chinrest! Who knew! Not me! Anyway--) This Faust is not based on either Marlowe or Goethe’s Faust, but rather some miscellaneous adventures from the early Faust legends and chapbook pamphlets. In this version Faust ensnares a devil named Mephistopheles to his service, vowing to use his powers for the good of mankind. Great plan! That always goes well! 

There’s a love potion, a flying cape, a duel with an outraged rival-- all the usual necessities for a Faust story, only now there’s not one but TWO young women screwed over by Faust’s philandering! (His first love, Röschen, and erstwhile damsel-in-distress, Kunilingus. ....*checks notes*, sorry, no, “Kunigunde”). Mephistopheles is cattily insightful, the wronged women team up to avenge themselves against their seducer, and yes, yes indeed, Faust Is Dragged To Hell!  

The poetry of the libretto is quite pleasing, it’s got some great dialogue and epic fantasy sequences. Mephistopheles puts on show of infernal pyrotechnics with 17th century stage effects, all of them tremendous fire hazards. Someone gets dragged to Hell by a chorus of dancing goblins before Act 1 even finishes-- O my cup runneth over! We get the witches’ sabbath atop Mt Blocksberg, there’s a guest appearance by Sycorax, everyone gets real horny up there with a love potion, it’s great. 

Mephistopheles seems to be on the ladies’ side in the story (as much as he’s on any human’s side), in that he cautions them not to trust Faust, and urges them on when they FREAKING TEAM UP AND GO TO SEEK VENGEANCE. Oh my god it’s so great. Kunigunde attacks Faust and Faust freaks out and tells Mephistopheles to save him and Meph is all “what’s that? I don’t know, suddenly I can’t read”. Meph is also the one doing all the actual rescuing of distressed maidens, at Faust’s behest. He views Faust’s attempts to break the laws of Love and Nature with contempt, knowing that Faust’s soul is on the fast track to Hell. There’s no actual pact here; Meph is the one being held hostage. He makes sure that Faust doesn’t enjoy any of the spoils of his sorcery, so Faust’s ennui and dissatisfaction remain the same as before he began his quest to “Use Hell’s Powers For Good”. 

And just quick review of the scoreboard: Faust used his powers to do 1 (one) useful thing with his power before he ruined a bunch of people’s lives in quick succession, murdering Kunigunde’s betrothed and driving Rose to suicide. He still cries about it and the “rich seeds of Good he sowed” but Meph is having none of it and HE. DRAGS. THAT. BOY. TO. HELL!!!!!!! EXEUNT.

Rating: 4/5 Stars. Better than expected! I want a revival of this version! With stabbing! And special effects! Mephistopheles is truly doing the Lord’s work here, no offense to his demonship. Lost some points with me for being so very, very heavy on the pining and lovesick maidens, but won me back when the lovesick maidens picked up daggers. 

Faust and Marguerite (1855, Lutz) and Faust up to Date (1888, Lutz)

Straight up can’t find this one! But this early silent film short is apparently based on it?  IDK folks, if you have a recording of this you’d like to share with me, I’d be delighted to hear it. 

As for the burlesque, I suspect it hasn’t actually been performed since 1888. But the music is pretty cute! The Pas de Quatre, aka “Skirt Dance” seems to be the only track that’s stuck around. Here it is played on an old disc music box. 

Rating: ??? 

La damnation de Faust (1846, Berlioz) 

--Libretto in French and English

--La Damnation de Faust with Jonas Kaufmann --I like this one because Faust is super duper cute and this Mephistopheles reminds me of an OC makes yellow work. 

--This is the first of what I’m called The Big Three Faust Plays; all modeled after Goethe’s Faust specifically, written within roughly ten years of each other, and which feature the most well-known arias that I’m aware of. 

This opera positively reeks of Romanticism; it’s got Byron out the ears, it’s wading through Wordsworth, it’s doing the Grand Tour, it’s gazing mournfully from the top of Mont Blanc, contemplating Nature and the Human Spirit. It’s Berlioz, buckle up. 

The beginning is obviously Faust wallowing in ennui. He considers suicide, but is interrupted by a timely reminder of Christianity. Suddenly the devil appears in order to take advantage of a soul precariously teetering on the edge between redemption and damnation.  In this version, the devil does not announce himself as the devil, but rather as the ~Spirit of Life~, here to show Faust the joys of the world. (There’s no pact at first, Meph is just “get in bitch we’re going debauching” and Faust’s like “aight” and they’re off.) The devil takes Faust on a fun tour of life’s noteworthy attractions such as “Drunk Student Karaoke”, “Dancing Gnomes”, and “A Nice Forest Nap”.

During his magical nap Faust sees a vision of Marguerite (later we learn she has simultaneously dreamed of Faust) and falls in love. He awakes with the usual boner for this Maiden of Radiant and Humble Virtue who Nature Hath Sheltered In Perfect Simplicity, because that’s always a big turn-on. Meph steers the course of their interactions very carefully, using magic and fairies and wisps to enchant the couple’s surroundings to ensure they are surrounded by romantic atmosphere the whole time. Once they’ve gotten into some heavy necking, he bursts in and tells them that the whole town is coming with pitchforks and also someone’s told the girl’s mother and they’re in big trouble. Faust flees. 

Everyone does some quality Pining, Faust sings a sad song about Nature, and then Meph shows up again saying “hey I hope this doesn’t put a damper on our vacation, but Marguerite is in prison for murder and she’s going to be executed BUT QUICK, ACT NOW AND WE CAN SAVE HER for just one quick easy payment of your immortal soul” and Faust is just like “WHAT WHERE WHO WHAT UH FINE YES SURE OKAY SHIT, WOW, LET’S GO” and Meph is >:))) and they jump on their horses and ride off to go save her except OOPS, NO THEY DON’T because actually they are RIDING INTO THE WAITING JAWS OF HELL!!!! NYAK NYAK NYAK NYEEEEEHHHHH!!! Faust burns for eternity, Marguerite goes to heaven, curtain. 

Rating: 3.5/5 Look, I’m not saying I’m biased, but Mephistopheles doesn’t even show up until half an hour into the opera, okay? I find this one hard to sit through even though the music is really delightful; and I do mean it is gorgeous music. Between the two famous mocking serenades, “Devant la maison” shoots “Vous quid faites l’endormie” right out of the water; all the chorus pieces are fantastic; the Hungarian March is a great instrumental piece; Faust actually has some decent arias for once (rarer in each subsequent opera), and there is Brander’s wonderfully irreverent Rat Song... I think the reason this doesn’t hold my attention as much as other versions is that the plot is very meandering and the characters don’t have concrete motivations; they’re sad teenagers in love, I guess? And the devil tricks them? This whimsical aspect is 1000% part and parcel of the Romantic Aesthetic I realize, but personally I came for a recognizable story and got mostly pastoral vignettes. We spend half the opera listening to Frolicking Peasants and Men At Arms. Mephistopheles just hops out of the woodwork to play a dirty trick on a random guy getting his Byronic Mope on. There’s no pact, no soul-signing until the very end, and it’s just a plain ol’ tricky trap, not a device to punish hubris or moral crimes. I’m even reluctant to give this its rightful Dragged To Hell points because out of all the Faust scenarios, this is the one where he seems to deserve it the least! He doesn’t actually do anything bad! It’s not satisfying if he’s dragged to Hell for no reason! Pfui. However, points gained back for the made-up Satanic babble sung by infernal chorus at the end.  

Faust (1859, Gounod) 

--Libretto in French and English

--1995 Adaptation with Samuel Ramey as Mephistopheles  You already know I’m a slut for Samuel Ramey playing the devil in any capacity so I’ll spare you my gushing play-by-play of his performance. The quality of this video is.... not great. I apologize. I still love it, but you’re going to want to find a clearer recording of the music if you want to get the most out of this opera. 

--2011 Adaptation with Paul Gay as Mephistopheles (Warning: this version is quite lurid and includes some staging choices that I find pretty uncomfortable-- I can’t decide if the director is consciously trying to highlight predatory sexism as a bad thing or if it’s just kind of included to make things seem ~spicy~. Anyway, it’s otherwise a high quality production with an interesting set design, just be warned that there’s some on-stage grossness. Also, a hilariously bad decapitated head prop! --to accompany a truly baffling ending. To its credit, the death of Valentin was genuinely pretty moving and made me feel... er, well, anything about the character. Tassis Christoyannis’s made that aria memorable, which is more than I can say of other productions. 

Second of the Big Three! 

Gounod introduces a more complete cast of characters borrowed from Goethe’s Faust to flesh out the the story and setting; we meet Wagner the student, a regiment of soldiers including Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, and their young friend Siebel (a pants role-- which immediately endears me to this character because I’m a ~big ol’ queer~). Later we meet Marguerite’s nosy old neighbor, Martha, who is REAL thirsty for Mephistopheles and who I relate to very much.

 This opera follows Goethe’s Faust- Part I much more closely than its predecessor, and where it does not follow the original, it diverges in favor of making the story more engaging and streamlined. There is WAY LESS pining into the aether, and more sword fights. The larger cast of named characters makes for more interactions, which in turn makes for more memorable moments on stage, better dialogue, a comprehensible timeline of events, and more concrete motivations for everyone. 

A SUMMARY: Faust’s pact in this version has nothing to do with the philosophical wager seen in Goethe, but is simply an exchange of his soul for returned youth. He is old, he’s spent his life studying, he wants to be young and full of passion again. He seals the deal after the devil offers him a vision of Marguerite, whose sight is so inspiring and lovely that Faust is overcome with desire for her alone. They go to find her, encountering on the way a regiment of students and soldiers, one of whom is Marguerite’s brother, Valentin, who is going off to war leaving his sister in the care of young Siebel. Getting Marguerite to stop and talk to Faust proves difficult since she is so pure and virtuous that A) Mephistopheles has no power over her, and B) she’s wary of the compliments of strangers. Faust gets Mephistopheles to bring her a case of jewels to warm her up to him, then Mephistopheles concocts a ruse to distract her nosy neighbor Martha and give them an excuse to meet Marguerite (shenanigans ensue). The ploy works, Marguerite is seduced, and in love with Faust. Cut to some time in the future, when Oh No Everything Has Gone Horribly Wrong; Faust has gone away and left Marguerite pregnant and unmarried, she is shunned by society with the exception of Siebel, meanwhile her brother has come home from the war to find her in a disgrace. Faust and Mephistopheles eventually return, but encounter an enraged Valentin who duels Faust to avenge his sister’s honor. Faust, of course, uses Mephistopheles’s magic to cheat, and Valentin is fatally stabbed. With his dying breaths, he curses his sister and blames her for his death, since he died defending her honor-- the people who witness this are rightfully aghast that he’d use his last moments to denounce his own sister-- and rightly so, because that’s a real dick move. Faust flees, and Marguerite is left on her own with no support and a newborn child to care for. She seeks refuge and forgiveness in the church, but finds she cannot pray, haunted by voices and cursed by Mephistopheles himself, as he whispers in her ear, promising damnation. She faints, and is presumably driven mad. Cut to Faust, who is being treated to a front-row seat of Walpurgisnacht. During the revels he sees another vision of Marguerite, this time of her in chains and awaiting execution for the murder of her child. Mephistopheles grudgingly takes Faust to see her in prison, where he tries to rescue her. In her fevered state she will not leave, wanting Faust to instead stay with her in the cell. During the delay, she sees Mephistopheles and finally puts two and two together, knowing a devil when she sees one, and understanding that Faust is not only responsible for her suffering but also in league with infernal powers. She pushes him aside, rejects him, and throws herself instead on the mercy of God, choosing death and redemption over being rescued by the man whose affections ruined her. Mephistopheles ruefully pronounces her condemned, but a voice from Heaven pronounces her Saved. Faust watches in awe as Marguerite’s soul ascends to Heaven, and he is left alone and presumably damned. 

Why is this framing of the story significant? Because it’s about her. Faust is only an instrument; his soul is not especially remarkable, he might have been damned without any devil to encourage him.

 But Marguerite’s soul was untouchable to Mephistopheles; he puts a vision of her before Faust for a reason. We don’t waste any time bemoaning Faust’s moral downfall; Faust is not the one seeking redemption at the end of the opera. Faust is a means to an end, and that end is leading an otherwise spotless soul into perdition.

 This opera has Mephistopheles at his most sinister, his most manipulative; he is the one driving Marguerite deeper into misfortune, who isolates her, mocks her, whispers condemnation into her ear her until she doubts everything. Desperate, without support and seeing no way forward, no future for herself or her child, Marguerite kills her baby, or is led to do so by Mephistopheles. Without a doubt, this has been the devil’s plan all along, and with Marguerite now branded a murderess, he thinks he’s won. But Faust, despite taking no responsibility for his actions, nevertheless feels pity and remorse at her misfortune, and goes to rescue her--and  this gives Marguerite the chance to finally see what he is.

 She rejects him; she does not choose love, she does not choose to live or be rescued by the forces that ruined her in the first place. She stays, renews her faith, and thwarts Mephistopheles’s best efforts to damn her. This is not about a man's hubris; it is about Marguerite escaping the devil and saving herself on her own terms. That’s why I find this version to be poignant. 

Some musical highlights: “Le veau d’or” (the golden calf)-- if not my favorite of Mephistopheles’s ballads then in the top three, particularly because it lends itself to some flamboyant acting; Marguerite’s “Ballade un roi de Thulé” (the king of Thule) is absolutely haunting; and "Seigneur, daignez permettre", aka The Church Scene is fucking incredible-- the juxtaposition of Marguerite’s pleas and the choir’s Dies Irae, the echoing church organs in the background, Damnation seeming to gain a voice of its own to summon her... it’s some real Eyes-of-Notre-Dame Hellfire shit. 

Rating: 5/5! A perfect score! Gounod wins the first place ribbon. Though he beats Boito’s “Mefistofele” (up next) on several key points, I want you to know that my personal bias will probably always be in favor of “Mefistofele” on account of being a ho for the titular character. --But Gounod’s is the better opera, fair and square. “Faust” has the most comprehensive storyline, the most memorable arias, and the best (I think) balance of both humor and poignance.  I will give this version the benefit of a Dragged to Hell point even though we don’t actually get to see the final deed. The Walpurgisnacht scene does exist as a ballet, so I’ll still give it the points even though it gets cut out of most productions for length (sometimes the ballet is performed as a stand-alone event). Additionally, he scores most favorably on the Marguerite > Sexy Lampshade scale-- this is a story about her more than it’s about Faust or Mephistopheles, and I’m here for that.

Thank you Mr. Gounod, you may retrieve your Incredibly Prestigious Award from my blog after the ceremony. 

Mefistofele (1868, Boito) 

--Libretto in Italian and English

--HERE IT IS, MY FAVORITE ONE, MY FAVORITE MEPHISTOPHELES, SAMUEL RAMEY, MOSTLY SHIRTLESS, FLIPPING OFF GOD AND LIGHTING A CIGARETTE ON STAGE IN HIS MATCHING CHERRY-RED TAILCOAT AND VIOLIN CASE 1989 (WHICH IS THE YEAR OF MY BIRTH, NO COINCIDENCE, I THINK)

--Oh, fun fact! The opera scene in Batman Begins is the chorus from the witches sabbath. If you thought it sounded familiar, this might be why.

Anyway. This is the third of the Big Three most-referenced Faust operas!  

Unlike its predecessors, Mefistofele covers both part I and part II of Goethe’s Faust, starting with the seduction of Marguerite and moving on to serenading Helen of Troy and finally with Faust’s redemption. The first part of the opera is very similar to Gonoud’s Faust, but first there is a Prologue, which is taken pretty much directly from Goethe.  And oh my god, is the Prologue hilarious. We encounter Mephistopheles, the titular character, on his way to work-- or more just loitering around in the aether as one does when one is bored and immortal and humanity is going on sinning with or without you, when he stops to greet the Lord God in passing, all satirical charm and sarcasm. God, very graciously, does not ask him whether he has anything better to do, but instead inquires if he knows Faust.

 “Oh yeah, that guy. Neck beard, likes science, big fan of yours. Sure I’ve heard of him,” says Meph. “Hey, you seem like a betting man--”

“Um,” says God.

Meph continues; “I bet I can tempt him into sinning and thus damn his immortal soul to Hell!” 

God agrees-- because God already knows the future and thinks this will be a fun way to build character. 

A choir of angels descends and Mephistopheles gets grossed out, sprays them with insect repellent, and leaves. (I am paraphrasing). 

The next few scenes are pretty familiar; Faust laments his ennui, a chorus of peasants and students celebrate a festival, Faust is on the cusp of a revelation that Jesus is neat, but is interrupted by the devil. The devil introduces himself, offers Faust his services on earth if Faust agrees to serve him in Hell after death. 

Faust, who seconds ago was ready to devote himself to a life of holiness, sayeth “yolo” and they shake on it, with the condition that Mephistopheles can reveal to him one moment of such surpassing joy and beauty that Faust will wish for it to last forever-- thereupon Faust consents to being dragged immediately to Hell. Because pssh, that’s later and who cares about later?? They hop on Mephistopheles’s magic cape, and fly off to have adventures.  CUT TO: Faust seducing Marguerite and Mephistopheles distracting her nosy neighbor Martha. THEY KISS, FAUST LEAVES, HE GOES TO A PARTY ON MT. BROCKEN. HE SEES A VISION: MARGUERITE IN PRISON! QUICK, TO THE RESCUE! BUT NO, SHE REJECTS HIM, HER SOUL IS SAVED, SHE DIES-- Wait, what? I hear you ask-- She just got here, she wasn’t even introduced, now we’re skipping to the end? The answer is: yes. Yes, you’re just supposed to know what’s going on already. 

To be fair, Faust operas are the Spiderman remakes of the nineteenth century; there’s a new one coming out every ten years or so, Goethe is required reading, everyone is writing Faust fanfiction-- no one is wondering who the girl is or how they met or is wondering if they’ll kiss or not. Everyone knows the plot already, it’s fine.

BUT THIS ISN’T THE END! No indeed! Now we are on a tour of PART II of Goethe’s Faust! You know, the part you skipped! Don’t worry, Boito isn’t making the entire metaphysical play into an opera, just the juicy bits with Helen of Troy. Marguerite is instantly and completely forgotten-- this is now a Helen/Faust one-shot, which Mephistopheles is forced to watch with annoyance. 

CUT TO: Faust’s old laboratory from Act 1, where he is on the brink of death, lost in a reverie of all the good times he’s had. Mephistopheles is hovering over him, tapping his wristwatch and reminding Faust of his past loves and glories, incredulous that Faust hasn’t yet found his One True Moment™.

 Faust just sighs and says “gee, I guess the REAL happiness was the good I could have done along the way but absolutely didn’t!” and God busts in through the ceiling with a HALLELUJAH and Mephistopheles is like “oh don’t you dare, don’t you fucking-- THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD, ALL THE SEXY LADIES I GOT YOU TO MEET! AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU AS YOUR WINGMAN--” and Faust faceplants into the bible and goes straight to Heaven. Meph is left spitting in defiance as he sinks into the earth. THE END.

Why this framing is significant: The way Boito has arranged and cropped the scenes makes this story very much center around Mephistopheles. While Berlioz’s Faust was about the suffering of a young man for love, and Gounod’s was about the victory of Marguerite over Hell, Boito’s opera is about the humorous tragedy of Mephistopheles, whose endeavor was rigged to fail from the onset. 

Faust doesn't end up in Hell in Goethe's version, and I accept this because Mephistopheles lost his bet on a technicality: the Moment™ Faust wished to prolong was not provided by Mephistopheles, it was caused by his sincere desire to do a last bit of good in the world, coming to the conclusion (after being made blind by the goddess of Care) that benefiting mankind is what brings one happiness, not knowledge or fleeting pleasures. It wasn’t that he suddenly found Christ or gave himself over to God, as the opera implies, but because he finally realized the worth of striving to do good, and fond a source of platonic love within himself, which makes his soul redeemable despite his pact with the devil. So Goethe gives us a humanist, philosophical explanation for Faust's redemption..... BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY-- he has Mephistopheles lose Faust's immortal soul because he's Too Fucking Horny For An Angel Boy’s Ass. (I know when I’m being pandered to.) 

Unfortunately, Boito misses the whole philosophical trajectory of Goethe’s Faust and reduces it to a simple morality-play where a sinner is saved on his deathbed merely by acknowledging the hereafter. He doesn’t suffer blindness, he doesn’t actually DO anything good in his last hour, he just repents and decides Heaven is real after all at the last possible second before kicking the bucket. It would be disappointing, IF that were the point of the story. But that’s not where the drama is!

Like Gounod’s Faust, the focus was never really on the doctor at all; his redemption is not what we paid to see. It’s Mephistopheles’s reaction to losing Faust’s soul that makes the ending interesting, not the fact that Faust gets a free pass to Heaven. 

Highlights of this version: It’s fucking hilarious, and Mephistopheles is the star of the entire show. His arias are in turns sinister and sardonic, playful and powerful. The dialogue is taken directly from Goethe’s Faust in most cases (translated into Italian obviously), and hey, the dialogue in Goethe is really funny and good and witty! Hard to go wrong! 

“Ave Signor” (Hail, Lord!) is such a terrific opener; there will always be something delightful about the idea of the devil conversationally sassing God and daring to make a bet with the Almighty in the spirit of work-place rivalry. “Son Lo Spirito Che Nega Sempre Tutto” (I Am the Spirit That Denieth All Things) is full of dark bravado and rebellion, whistling defiance at the Lord. It’s a great Villain Song and as someone with sympathy for the devil it is completely my jam. “Ecco Il Mondo” (Behold the World) is both teasing and menacing and the staging lends itself to some glorious melodrama. “Ah! Su! Riddiamo, riddiamo” (Turning, turning) gets a prize for being the best infernal chorus and witches’ sabbath scene out of all of them-- it’s frenzied and spooky and satanic and whirling, everything you could want from an orgy of infernal creatures. Ten out of five stars, would exalt Satan to again.

Rating: 4.5 / 5 stars. Second place prize, and Honorable Mention for being the judge’s favorite. It’s not perfect. The story leaves much to be desired-- let’s face it, Part II of “Faust” isn’t especially... dynamic on its own, and especially when condensed to fit into opera format, the events don’t add up into a satisfying narrative.  Boito glosses over some frankly essential elements in the original and just has Faust skip right from his life-ruining adultery to being carried to Heaven on the backs of angels-- just for thinking of all the good he *could* have done if he hadn’t been, you know, a real stinker this whole time.  So I’m not giving Boito a pass for omitting Faust’s Hell Dragging. Furthermore, this play is woefully short on Marguerita; she basically just shows up to be seduced and then a second later is Ruined and Saved. Booo.

But hey-- is this play called “Faust”? Is this play called “Faust and Marguerita”? No. This play is called motherfuckin’ “Mefistofele”, because it’s about Mephistopheles. It’s about our suave, under-appreciated servant of Hell working hard for his cut, trying and squeeze just ONE life-altering moment out of this absolute dehydrated turd of a man, and the play is rife with his frustration. He is the one who whistles in defiance of God, and he loses because it is *inevitable* that he loses. God was never going to let him win that bet; Meph was a tool in his ultimate design to shepherd Faust closer to redemption. Mephistopheles is dragged off stage whistling in defiance as a lifetime’s worth of effort is flushed down the drain in a single moment of seemingly undeserved redemption. Not for a *solitary second* did we want this opera to be about Faust. No. This is the devil’s opera, and that’s why it’s so fucking great. 

Doktor Faust (1916–25, Busoni)

--Adaptation with Thomas Hampson 2006 

--Libretto in German and English

...And now, a German libretto written by an Italian, in contrast with Boito’s Italian libretto translated from German. 

God, this is such a modern ass Modern Opera. It does that thing I hate that modern operas do where the composer is like “What? You wanted a ~melody~? What is this, musical theater??” Like obviously they’ve transcended the need for anything so plebeian as a tune I can fucking hum. It’s very Intellectual, very High Art. The plot is full of tortured genius manpain, naval gazing, and I can’t remember a single aria from it. ...Okay, that’s a bit harsh; in the final two scenes Faust gets some lovely melancholy solos that actually stuck out to me. But this is a three hour long opera. So. Maybe skip ahead.

Plot-wise, this is the most existential of the bunch. No Marguerite in this one, just a Duchess with no name. Faust still ruins his lover’s life but in his final act he rejects both God and the Devil and uses his Supreme Human Will to transfer his life-force into his dead child’s body, resurrecting him as a young man with a blossoming frond of some kind. (Symbolism!!!) 

--This marks the full 180 turnaround from “Faust is forcibly dragged to hell by Satan himself and his body explodes all over the stage” to “NOT ONLY IS FAUST REDEEMED OF HIS SINS BUT HE TRANSCENDS BOTH HEAVEN AND HELL WITH THE INDOMITABLE FORCE OF HIS HUMAN WILL, GOD IS DEAD, FAUST IS THE ÜBERMENSCH”, and to that I say *ptttttttbbbbbbbb*.   

Rating: 1/5 stars.  Plot is ponderously philosophical, overweighted with symbolism, and the music, while interesting, is largely forgettable with a few exceptions. Also it is Three Goddamn Hours Long. Points lost for nameless female character who fails the Lampshade Test. Loses further points for a dry and flavorless Mephisopheles, boooo.     

The Rake's Progress (1951, Stravinsky)

--1992 production with Jerry Hadley and OH LOOK WHO IT IS IT’S SAMUEL RAMEY AGAIN HUH WELL DON’T MIND IF I DO this production is really, really well acted and funny and the dance portions are especially cool. 

--Libretto in English and Italian

Another modern opera, this time by a composer I actually like! 

Now, this isn’t technically a Faust opera; its based on a series of delightfully comedic prints by William Hogarth, detailing the decline and fall of a young man who inherits a huge sum of money, spurns his true love, and wastes his inheritance on foolish ventures and hookers, eventually ending up insane in Bedlam (I’m not saying tertiary syphilis, but definitely tertiary syphilis-- Let us take a moment to appreciate both condoms and penicillin.) 

In the original paintings there is no deal-making devil, but but luckily he’s been added in by librettist W.H. Auden (who was intermittently friends and lovers with Christopher Isherwood!!!!-- I just wanted to add that because it makes my gay little heart very happy). The names are all vaudevillian puns, such as “Tom Rakewell”, “Anne Trulov”, and “Sellem, the Auctioneer”. Mephistopheles has been exchanged for the slick, modern Nick Shadow.

Highlights of this version: Baba the Turk, the bearded lady that Nick convinces Tom to marry as a demonstration of his free will (???). Listen: I know she’s meant to be comic relief and is an unflattering stereotype, but dang if she didn’t win my heart completely. I like that her marriage with Tom apparently falls apart, not necessarily because she’s a bearded lady, but because she’s just very chatty and overbearing and is much better traveled than Tom, and has had numerous wealthy and important suitors who she won’t shut up about. She’s knows her own worth and conducts herself accordingly, and is very vocal when she knows she’s being treated badly. She’s got Anne’s back when they meet at the auction of all Tom’s property (which she was included in as an object because she was under a spell of silence and immobility-- rude), telling her to watch out for Nick Shadow and generally being very forgiving and understanding about the whole affair; she was hurt that Tom lied about his affections, but she doesn’t blame Anne for it, which is wholesome. Then she announces that she’s going back to her career on the stage because she is BABA and she has had enough of these scrubs. Anyway. I love her. She’s described very beautifully if you happen to like beards, which I do (and so did the author).  

“No Word From Tom” reminds me why I love Stravinsky so much (and Dawn Upshaw sings it like a nightingale). “Lanterloo My Lady” is spritely and fun and texturally interesting; besides, “sweet dreams my master, dreams may lie, but dream-- for when you wake you die” is chill-inducing. “How Dark and Dreadful is This Place” plus the whole card game in the cemetery is sad and grim and comical all at the same time; Tom is such a pathetic and naive mess you can’t help but feel sorry for him, even while Nick’s smugness is delicious. Tom’s mad songs are all quite touching and beautiful. 

Rating: 4/5 stars. The libretto is really excellent, jazzy, full of great wordplay and aphorisms. Nick is a delightful Mephistopheles; thoroughly modern, witty, sly, arch, fourth-wall breaking. Faust is not dragged to hell, but he is condemned to insanity. Loses points for a female lead whose entire purpose in life is to babysit this asshole through his poor life decisions. Also, while certainly more memorable and melodic than Busoni’s Faust, it still has that sort of shouty modern opera sound that I find a little challenging to listen to; but that said, the music fits the plot, and the plot is fun and absorbing, so while there may be fewer individual arias I’m likely to put on my jogging playlist, it’s engaging to watch as a production from start to finish.  

--Okay! That’s it! I know, I know, this isn’t actually a review of every Faust opera to date, but I have to get back to my life, and you already know my feelings on modern and contemporary opera. Thank you for bearing with me for this entire novel-length post that literally no one asked for!! You’re a the real hero here! I love you almost as much as I love Samuel Ramey in tights.  *stage kiss*  Yours in Service Here but in Mine Below, ~Wesley