#A FEW BRIEF SPOILS FOR SOME STORY STUFF | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soaps-mohawk · 3 months ago

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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 36: To The Sea

Summary: It's time to move on. You're not sure where you're going exactly, but anywhere is better than Texas

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 7,816 words

Warnings: ANGST, injuries, medical stuff, descriptions of pain and injuries, brief discussion about strangulation, mentions of PTSD and nightmares, so much crying, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, angst, a very little sprinkle of comfort, language, mentions of medications, still very heavy emotionally

A/N: Not actually a lot of warnings for this one. It's a lot of dialogue and inner monologues. Not a lot happens, just mostly setting the scene for the next chunk of the story. Bring tissues though, the last part of the chapter emotionally wrecked me but also might be the best thing I've ever written.

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It’s warm outside.

Not even the shade from the building can completely shield you from the dome of heat that seems to surround the base. It seeps into the concrete and asphalt that lock it into place, trapping everyone in a bubble that may as well be an oven. It’s always hot in Texas, though. You hate it. You’ve been spoiled by the cold, rainy seasons in England. You’d gladly take that over Texas.

You’d take anything over Texas.

The heat prickles at your skin, your arm starting to get sweaty in the sling. It had been Dr. Keller’s idea to keep your shoulder as still as possible so you don’t continue to cause yourself pain when you move. It still hurts, but at least you won’t instinctively try to use your left arm now.

Despite the warmth, there’s still a chill deep in your bones. The warmth of the pain medicine has worn off and you’ve been left with the perpetual ice that has seemed to coat your insides. Dr. Keller says it's the stress giving you a fever. Every nightmare, every flashback sends your body temperature spiking, your heart beating right out of your chest. You’re not out of the woods yet. It can take a long time to recover from that level of distress and the omega taking over. You almost regret it, but there was no guarantee you would have lived either way at that time. You did what you had to do, and it did work out in the end.

But at what cost?

Dr. Keller’s phone buzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out, staring down at the screen for a moment. “Kyle wants to come by.”

You don’t want to see him. You don’t want to see any of them.

“I think you should see him. Even if it’s just for a moment.” She squeezes your hand. “I’ll be right here.”

It’s a predicament. Dr. Keller supports your decision to keep them away, putting some distance between all of you for the time being. Yet, she also says being close to your pack will help your healing. Having your pack around will help your omega settle once again. She needs that safety, that security before she finally lets go completely.

You don’t want to be close to them, but you may not have any other choice.

You sit there in silence, picking at the fabric of your sweatpants as you wait for Kyle’s arrival. Sweat has started to bead on your back, the day only getting warmer and warmer as the sun moves higher in the sky. You want to go back inside, back into the cool air conditioned building. You want to crawl back onto the hospital bed and lay there for the next few hours.

You can’t.

Footsteps approach, but you don’t look up. You know who it is. You don’t want to see him.

“Kyle.” Dr. Keller greets.

“Christine.” He says back. It still throws you off, hearing Dr. Keller's first name. She'll always be Dr. Keller to you. Kyle turns his attention to you, still standing a few steps from the bench you're perched on. “Hi, love.” He says. The affectionate nickname almost makes you wince. You don't look up at him. You don’t want to see his face. “I wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing.”

You don't move, don't give an answer. You don't have an answer to give anyway. You shouldn't have to give an answer.

He lowers himself onto the bench, sitting as far away from you as he can. “It’s hot today.” He says, adjusting his hat. Always wearing a hat. Maybe that's why he and Price work so well together.

He stares at you for a long moment but you don't bother moving, your gaze still on your sweatpants. They're starting to get a bit warm, even with your perpetual chill.

“I’m not here to apologize.” He says, breaking the silence. “You’ve probably heard enough apologies to last you a lifetime.” He shakes his head. “Words can’t fix what we did. Nothing can fix what we did, how we left you there. All we can do is give you what you need, try and make you as comfortable as possible.”

Tears burn your eyes as you listen to him. He's not wrong, an apology won't fix what happened. No words will ever be able to fix what they put you through. You're not sure there's anything they could do that would make up for it. An apology still would have been nice, despite the fact you know how guilty he is. Their avoidance of you, their willingness to give you such space in an unknown place just proves how guilty they all are.

That doesn't make things hurt any less.

You slowly turn away from Kyle, angling yourself towards Dr. Keller.

He doesn't say anything further in that regard, taking your movement as an answer to his non-apology. He leans forward instead, resting his elbows on his knees. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re getting ready to leave soon. We’ll be heading somewhere safe, somewhere quiet and secluded. I think you’ll like it.”

Dr. Keller had informed you of that earlier after she went to speak to them. They've decided what to do, what's best for the pack again. You might have protested, except for the fact it meant you were getting to leave Texas. Where exactly they're taking you, you're not sure. You just know it's not Texas.

“I want you to know that we’re here if you need us.” He stares at you for a moment longer before pushing himself up to stand.

If, not when.

Maybe they're finally getting the message.

Dr. Keller stands, touching your right shoulder gently before she steps away with Kyle, speaking quietly with him, but you can still hear every word in the nearly silent space around you.

“In an attempt to remain a neutral, professional party in this situation, I feel it would be appropriate for me to tell you not to beat yourself up too much about this.” Dr. Keller says. “The unprofessional side of me has many words I’d like to say to all of you.” She clears her throat. “That being said, on a positive note I can say you’re all doing the right thing for once, prioritizing your omega and fulfilling her needs, even if her needs require you to leave her alone for now. I know it’s hard, I know every instinct is screaming at you to help her, but just take comfort in knowing you are helping her. You’re doing the best thing you can do for her at this time.” Dr. Keller puts a hand on his arm, squeezing it gently. “Even if it is tearing you up inside.”

“Thanks, Doc.” He says.

“I’ll see you soon.” She says, patting his arm before she heads back towards your bench.

You turn your head just slightly, not missing the way Gaz lingers for a brief moment before he turns his back on you, walking back down the sidewalk.

It hurts.

You want to cry with every swallow. No matter how much you chew, it doesn’t ease the pain of trying to swallow solid food. Even the worst sore throat you’ve ever had pales in comparison to this pain. Tears burn in your eyes as you eat, unable to refuse this time in favor of choking down some liquid nutrients. Even liquids make your throat ache, but they are easy to chug to get it over with at once.

This feels like torture.

Dr. Keller looks guilty as she spoon-feeds you the soup. Chicken noodle, something simple and easy but still something with some substance. It makes you think back to when you were sick as a child, your mother dutifully feeding you homemade chicken noodle soup until you reached the age you could feed yourself.

You do feel like a child again, unable to even hold the spoon. Well, you could hold it, but it would have come at the expense of some burns from how badly your hand was shaking.

So instead you sit here, being spoon-fed soup you can barely stand eating.

“I know.” She says as a tear finally falls, your inhale shaky from the ache in your throat. “You need something in your system for the sedative. It’s a long flight and you’ll be sick when you wake up if you don’t have anything in your stomach. That’s going to hurt a lot worse than eating now.”

Yeah. You’ve already figured that out.

“Strangulation is a tough thing to survive.” She says, dragging the bottom of the spoon against the edge of the bowl to wipe off any soup that might drip on you. “Then again, so is getting shot, and distressing to the point of your omega taking over.” She holds the spoon up to your lips, and you’re tempted to refuse. “You’ve survived a lot, more than most could. And to look this good after...”

You blink up at her, teary eyed and sickly looking, exhausted and bruised. Your left eye is still almost swollen shut, and your hair is tangled perhaps beyond saving, tied up in a bun at the top of your head. All just reminders of what you survived, all reminders of what happened to you. Of what was allowed to happen to you.

You’re not quite sure when the last time you had a real shower was either.

“I know.” She says, spooning more soup into your mouth. “You might not feel like it, right now.”

“I want a shower.” You say, your voice still hoarse and cracking through your throat. A real shower might solve a lot of problems for you right now. It won’t fix much, but being truly clean would make a lot of things feel better.

“I wholeheartedly agree.” Dr. Keller says.

You give her a look. You don't smell that bad. She should know, she’s the one that cleaned the blood off of you and the one who gave you the sponge bath this morning.

She gives you a look back. “I meant it would be nice to take a real shower. Once we get where we’re going, we can work on the logistics of a shower.”

Right. You can’t exactly stand for a long time on your own, not to mention the problem of only being able to use one arm without bringing blinding pain upon yourself. That’s where the pack would come in handy.

The thought of one of them seeing you vulnerable like that, putting their hands on you right now makes your skin crawl.

A shiver runs down your spine, your body shuddering uncontrollably. You grunt as your shoulder screams in pain, another electric jolt burning straight through your nerves and down through your feet. Fuck. You mouth the word, squeezing your eyes shut. It makes your stomach churn, the soup starting to burn a path back up through your esophagus.

“Breathe for me.” Dr. Keller says, putting a gentle hand on your right shoulder.

In and out. You focus on your breath, the only thing you can do without feeling like you’re going to go insane from the pain. It’s all you can do in this situation. It’s the only thing you can do at all. Breathe. Just keep breathing.

Sometimes you don’t want to.

The pain passes as it always does, leaving behind a subtle ache that will linger until the next flare of pain. It’s a constant, never-ending cycle that you can’t escape from. Weeks, Dr. Keller had said. It can take weeks to heal. You’ll be stuck in this cycle for weeks and weeks. What if it never heals? That is a possibility. It’s always a risk with any injury.

What if the rest of your life is like this?

You’re crying again, hot tears blazing a path down your cheeks. They won’t stop, they never stop. There’s a constant stream down your face, even in your sleep. You’ve woken to find your face and neck damp from the never ceasing flood of tears.

How you can’t wait for the time to come when you have none left.

You’d welcome the numbness at this point, greet it like an old friend and invite it in for tea. Anything over the pain and tears that won’t stop. The depression-fueled numbness that had filled you when Price and Gaz left, then Soap and Ghost would be a welcome relief at this point. Anything would be better than the pain.

You almost wish you were in a coma right now. Then you wouldn’t feel anything at all.

Dr. Keller puts the spoon back into the soup bowl before rolling the table to the side. She puts a hand on your head, gently stroking your hair as you cry. The room is silent aside from your sniffles, Dr. Keller not having to say a single word. The silence is almost a blessing. You’re tired of hearing words, of hearing people speak. There’s nothing anyone can say that will do anything to help you, to comfort you, to make it better.

There’s nothing anyone can do to make it better.

You’re so tired of being like this.

The sedative is kicking in before you even reach the airfield. She can see the way your head is drooping further and further forward in the car, your body jostling without any complaint. It had started kicking in before you even got into the car, as you offered very little resistance when Kyle helped her mauver you into the front seat. She chose Kyle out of everyone to help her in hopes it would be easiest on you. Your claimed alpha’s beta is a good place to start in rebuilding the bonds within the pack, and his calm demeanor certainly helps. He is a caretaker through and through, that beta trait prominent above the others in him. He would have made a good medic, had he gone that route.

Your chin drops to your chest as the car comes to a stop in front of the plane, your body slumping to the side against the door.

“She’s out.” Christine says, unbuckling her seatbelt.

“Makes this easier.” Kyle says, getting out of the car.

They maneuver you into the wheelchair, Christine easing your head onto your right shoulder to avoid aggravating the left. The less pain you’re in when you come out of it, the better, though pain will be unavoidable. Kyle pushes the wheelchair up the ramp of the plane, Christine following close behind. She’s glad she gave you the sedative before you left the med center to avoid as much pain as possible. She almost wishes she had given it to you earlier, as getting you into a sweatshirt had been a battle of its own. Though, the longer it stays in your system, the longer you’ll sleep through the flight. The longer you sleep through the flight, the longer they can delay the inevitable emotional storm of being enclosed in a tight space with your pack.

If you’re lucky, you’ll be out of it long enough for them to reach the cottage without incident.

John is waiting near the front of the aircraft, his eyes watching carefully as Kyle helps maneuver you into a seat. Even with the turmoil in the pack bonds, an alpha will always feel protective over their omega. There’s some things that can’t be undone, even in such a fragile state. Some instincts can’t be unlearned, no matter what.

“I gave her a sedative.” Christine explains as she gets you as comfortable as possible in the seat. “It won’t last the whole flight, but it’ll take a while to wear off regardless.”

“Is that more for her or for us?” John asks.

“Both.” Christine says. “Mostly for her. It helps with the pain of moving around, but it will also keep her calm in close quarters like this.”

“Here.” John says, handing her something. It’s a blanket, brand new by the feel of it. “Johnny made a store run this morning. It’s going to get cold in here, so he got the warmest one he could find.”

Christine takes the blanket, the fabric thick and soft in her hands. It’s a touching gesture, speaking volumes of their desire to still care for you despite everything, their willingness to do what they have to, to keep the pack together. “Perfect.” She says, carefully draping it over you and tucking it around you before John gets you secured in the seat.

“It’s going to be a long flight.” John says, taking a step back.

“It is.” Christine says, pulling out her thermometer. She takes your temperature, letting out a hum at the number that pops up on screen. “I need to monitor her temperature.” She explains as John gives her a look. “It’s been spiking when she gets stressed.”

“She's not quite out of it yet, is she?” John asks.

“Not quite.” She says, putting the thermometer back in her bag. “I’ve only seen two omegas successfully come back from that point, and I know the number across the board isn’t very high. It takes a long time for the body and the brain to get back to normal.”

“And on top of everything that happened...”

She stares up at him for a long moment. “She’s very strong. I knew she was a fighter, but to come out the other side even where she is now...” Christine shakes her head. “I didn’t want to say this at the time, but I was expecting the worst. When that call came in about what state she was in...” She bites her lip, holding the emotions back. “Her resilience and fortitude is what kept her alive. That and Simon’s courage to do what needed to be done.”

“I know.” John says, looking past her. “We all owe a lot to him.”

Christine puts a gentle hand on his arm. “You’re doing what’s best for her. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much it goes against every instinct you have, it’s what she needs.”

“That’s all that matters to us right now.” John says, staring down at her hand for a moment. “There’s nothing else we can do, so it’s time we start putting our priorities where they should have been the whole time.”

Christine gives him a small smile. “I’m proud of you for that. It takes a lot to unlearn the things you’ve been told since the beginning.”

The corner of John’s lips twitch before his face falls into the emotionless mask he’s been wearing for the last few days. “It’s about time we get our heads out of our arses.”

“I can’t blame you totally.” She shrugs. “We were all just doing what the initiative was telling us to do. We couldn’t have known. There wasn’t any room to question it.”

“I wish we would have figured it out sooner.” He sighs.

“Things might have been worse if the truth did come out sooner. If you started digging into the initiative too soon, Shepherd might have gotten antsy and taken more drastic measures to stop the truth from coming out entirely.” She glances down at you. “I think this was all inevitable.” She turns her gaze back to John. “What happened, happened. None of us can change that. All we can do is keep moving forward with what we have right now.”

He stares at her for a long moment. “The more time passes, the more I’ve come to realize why Kate chose you for this position.”

The corner of her lips turns up in a smile. “Well, I am rather good at my job, which, among other things, involves advocating on behalf of omegas.”

John huffs. “Wish we would have listened sooner.”

“You can’t change the past.” She repeats, looking down at you again. “But you can change the future.”

You woke from your sedation about four hours from Helston.

Well, ’woke’ might have been too strong of a word for it. Your eyes opened, but you were still hazy, movements sluggish and entirely unaware of the world around you. You floated between sleep and awareness for an hour before finally gaining consciousness completely. Awareness took quite a while to return, though. Not until they were moving you to the car from the plane.

Even still you’re groggy, slumped against the door in the back seat of the car. You blink slowly, eyes unfocused as you stare out the window at the blur of green passing by.

“How is she?” John asks from the driver's seat, glancing up at the rearview mirror.

“Cow.” You say, blinking slowly as the car passes a field of cows.

“Still out of it.” Christine answers from the back seat where she's sitting next to you. Your response might have been enough to answer that. “Better than being in pain, though.”

“How long will it take for her to get out of it?” Kyle asks.

“Hopefully she’ll be more lucid by the time we get there, but it could take a few hours for it to completely wear off.” Christine says, wiping a bit of drool from your chin. “Probably not a bad thing. This is a big change, and with everything that’s happened, it’s going to take some time to settle in.”

“Things are going to be rough.” Kyle says.

“Yes.” She agrees. “Being enclosed in a small space with the people you want to see the least in the world isn’t an ideal situation. It’ll be an adjustment for everyone. I trust all of your abilities to adapt, though. Just don't go in expecting things to be the way they were.”

John's hands tighten around the steering wheel, his knuckles going white. Kyle cracks his window open, prepared for the thickening of John's scent in the air. Christine knows she hit a nerve, but it needed to be said. Even if you were open to forgiveness right now, even if they had chosen to go after you right away, things still wouldn't be the same. Things won't ever be the same. It is their fault deep at the root of it. Those cameras were put up because of them, you were taken because of them. You were chosen for the “initiative” because of them, because Kate thought you'd fit in well with them. Their decisions shaped your life, and will continue to shape your life.

Can you ever come to forgive them? Christine likes to think so. She has the hope that they can put in the work and regain your trust and earn eventual forgiveness. She knows you'll allow them to try once the initial hurt and emotions begin to fade, once the two of you put in enough work to start processing the trauma around the events that happened. It will take time. Probably a long time.

She'll be there every step of the way.

“Ashley did some shopping for us, picked up some stuff to get us until we can get into town.” Kyle says, looking at his phone.

“Good.” John says, his shoulders starting to relax. “Should wait a couple days before going. Get settled in.”

“She's still working on cleaning up. Probably still be there when we get there.” Kyle says, putting his phone back in his pocket.

“That's fine. We’ll probably have to utilize her a bit.”

“Doubt she'll complain.” Kyle says, looking out the window. “Be thrilled to have something to do besides work.”

You let out a quiet groan, shifting against the door. “Hurts.”

“I know, honey.” Christine says, carefully adjusting your left arm. “I’ll give you more pain meds once we get to the cottage.”

“We’ll be there in half an hour.” John says, glancing up at the rearview mirror again before turning his eyes back to the road.

The half hour seems to take the longest as you continue to become more and more lucid and aware. The pain sets in first, your brain picking up on those signals before anything else. John’s knuckles are white around the steering wheel as you begin to whine and whimper around every bend in the road and turn he has to make, every jostle of the car. Every instinct in his body tells him to pull over and comfort you, but he can’t. It’s more important to get to the cottage, and there’s no guarantee you’d even let him. It might make things worse.

The last thing you need right now is for things to get worse.

Christine breathes a sigh of relief as they pull up to the cottage, glad she can finally get you somewhere more comfortable. You’ve been in far too many uncomfortable positions today, moved around too much. She would have liked to keep you in Texas a couple more days, but she knew as soon as you were able to travel, the better. The sooner they could get off the grid, the better.

The sooner they could get out of Texas, the better.

Kyle is getting the wheelchair out of the trunk when Johnny and Simon pull up, not having been far behind. They likely took a turn around the back roads to ensure no one was following and to keep things from looking too suspicious.

Christine keeps you from slumping out of the car as she carefully opens the door on your side. You’re more awake than you were, blinking up at her with almost startlingly aware eyes.

“Crutch.” You pout when she pulls the wheelchair closer.

She gives you a look. “Honey I'm not sure you could even stand right now.” You may be more aware, but that doesn’t mean your body is working as it should.

You let out a defiant noise as you attempt to get your legs out of the car, trying to hide your grunts of pain and discomfort.

She's tempted to stand there and let you try, but she knows all hell will break loose if she lets you fall. She's not willing to take that risk, not to mention it will cause you more pain to get you up off the ground.

“Come on,” She says, stopping you before you can get your feet under you. “Nice and slow.”

You let out a quiet growl of indignation but you allow her to help you, your legs trembling as she eases you up. Kyle is there with the wheelchair, getting it as close to you as possible so she can sit you down quickly.

“Ow.” You breathe, eyes pinched closed as you breathe through the pain.

“I know.” She says, patting your good shoulder lightly. She's glad she put you in the sweatshirt before you left Texas. It's chilly outside, chillier than it was further inland a few days ago.

It's hard to believe it's only been a few days since you were taken. Barely even a week. So much happened in such a short period of time. It feels like it’s been weeks since everything started, but then again, it had been weeks since John and Kyle first left. It had been weeks since you had been around your whole pack together by the time you were taken. The deep depression you sunk into before the events of the last week had been draining you slowly for weeks before this. It had started before John and Kyle were deployed, back to that day when you revealed the cameras and the secret you had been hiding from them.

How long you’ve gone in such turmoil.

How far you still have to go.

The path up to the door is rocky and uneven, the wheelchair jostling as she pushes it up towards the door. She can picture your face, the way it has to be screwed up in pain. You're silent though, holding it all in. She almost wishes you weren't being silent about it.

The door is already open, light shining from inside as she approaches. Kyle is in the house already, having gone ahead to greet his sister. John is right behind the two of you as Christine turns to wheel you up the steps into the house. His eyes are on you, focused and ready should you fall.

Christine would never let you fall, and from the way your hand is gripping the arm of the chair for dear life, you probably couldn't anyway.

She wheels you through the entryway, the inside warmer thanks to a fire that's burning. It's a nice cottage, far nicer than she had been expecting judging from the outside.

Johnny lets out a low whistle as he enters behind John, looking around. “Yer parents own this?”

“It was given to our mum by our grandparents. They did some...renovations before they passed it on.” Kyle says.

“Yer tellin’ me.” Johnny says.

It looks new inside. New wood floors, freshly painted walls. The furniture looks like she would expect to find in an English seaside cottage, though. Kyle’s parents went to France for summer vacation instead of utilizing the cottage, and none of his siblings had wanted to use it, he told them. It looks almost perfect, like it came right out of a home renovation show. Kyle’s sister must have worked some sort of magic to get it this clean.

It is a very nice cottage. It’s small, the door opening right to the main area. There’s two couches and a chair in the middle of the room around a coffee table. To the left of the couches is a fireplace, the fire already lit and crackling. It looks original, likely having been untouched in the renovations. There’s a door to the left of the fireplace closer to the main entryway. A bedroom maybe? To the right of the front door are two doors, one on the far wall and one facing the front door.

The stairs are in the middle of the house, leading up to the second floor where there’s likely more bedrooms. On the far side of the main area is the dining area and beyond that is a sliding glass door. Around the corner on the far side of the stairs is likely the kitchen. She can see the fridge from where she’s standing. It’s new. Very new. Makes her wonder just how long ago it had been renovated.

“Everyone, this is my sister Ashley.” Kyle says, introducing the other woman in the room.

“Hello,” she says, giving everyone a wave and a dazzling smile.

She’s dressed simply in jeans and a t-shirt, her medium box braids pulled up into a bun on top of her head. They look a lot alike, her and Kyle. Tall and slender and stunning. They have the same smile and the same soft brown eyes. She's wearing scent blockers, but Christine can imagine her having a soft scent like lavender or something fresh like mint.

“There's two rooms down here, and two upstairs.” Kyle says. “The main bedroom is through there.” He points towards a door to their left. “I figure we'll give that to our omega. The bathroom in there has a walk-in shower.”

“Perfect.” Christine says. That will make getting you in and out of the shower easier at least, and you won’t have to go far to use the bathroom.

“You should take the other room down here.” John says, looking at Christine. “So you can be close in case of an emergency.”

And so you don't have to be too close to them, so you won’t feel like they’re hovering.

He doesn't have to say that part out loud.

“I put new sheets on all the beds.” Ashley says. “I also picked up everything Kyle sent on the list. Food, some clothes, some other necessities.”

You let out a quiet groan, Christine patting your head gently. You have to be exhausted and sore after the day. She should give you another dose of pain medicine like she said she would. You’re going to need it tonight.

“Let's get you laying down for a bit.” She says, wheeling you towards the door.

Kyle opens it for her, revealing a spacious room with a big window looking out towards the sea. You're going to spend a lot of time in front of that window, she thinks. The bed is in the middle of the room, and there’s two chairs facing the window. She’s almost tempted to sit you in one of the chairs, but laying down will be more comfortable for you right now.

You're still too out of it now to care much as she wheels you to the double bed. With Kyle's help they get you horizontal, Christine draping the blanket at the end of the bed over you. It’s not very soft, but it will do for now. She’ll have to get the guys to pick up some soft blankets for you when they go to town. She has a whole list of things starting in her head she needs them to pick up.

She leans your crutch against the end of the bed just in case you might need it for an emergency. She hopes you’ll yell first, but you always have been stubborn. Being mostly bed-bound has only made that worse.

“I’m going to go look through the things Ashley picked up.” She says, patting your leg gently. “Get some rest.”

Christine leaves the door open a crack as she exits, wanting to give you a little privacy as you nap, or at least she hopes you’ll nap. It’s going to be a rough adjustment, and you’re going to need as much rest as you can get.

“I’m assuming you’re Christine.” Ashley says, walking up to her.

“I am.” She says, giving Ashley a smile.

She can’t help but get lost in Ashley’s soft gaze for a moment. The Garrick siblings seem to share the same magnetic energy. There’s something almost ethereal about them. She could easily imagine them with glowing halos and angel wings. It’s almost like she’s being blessed with the opportunity to look upon her. She could spend an hour staring at Ashley’s face and not grow tired of looking at her.

“I picked up the items Kyle said you needed.” She says, motioning to the bags on the coffee table, pulling Christine out of her daze. “I couldn’t find the exact nutrient powder you asked for, so I got one that was as close as I could find.”

Christine glances through the bags. She was thorough, getting at least two of everything.

“I got warmer clothes for her too, since it can get chilly out here this time of year. Just some simple things for now until you guys get into town.” Ashley says. “I did some research too and I read that omegas like comforting things so I picked up some extra blankets and pillows” Ashley says, motioning to a couple bags sitting on the couch. “I also picked up this,” She pulls a stuffed dog from one of the bags, holding it up. “It was the softest one I could find. I thought it might help.”

A small smile forms on Christine’s face, her heart fluttering in her chest from the sweet, thoughtful gesture. Ashley doesn’t even know you, nor did she know exactly what happened to you, and yet she went so far as to pick up some comfort items for you. You have nothing right now, only the borrowed clothes on your back. All of your belongings are still on base, all of the things that you had built to make your perfect nest. Would you want any of them still? Or have they been tainted by the events of the last few weeks?

That Ashley thought to do this has warmth flooding Christine’s body. You can have some comfort now without having to wait for their trip to town. She almost feels the urge to cry. She wants to hug Ashley, thank her over and over for her kindness. Ashley has no idea how much her small act of kindness means, how much it's going to mean.

A smile forms on Christine’s face as she stares at the stuffed dog. “It’s perfect.”

You can hear it.

In the distance, the quiet roar reaches your ears as you’re dragged from the sweet arms of sleep. It must be a dream, or perhaps the sedative is still clinging to your mind, making you imagine things.

No.

You’d know that sound anywhere.

The effort to push yourself up to sit is a momentous one, every cell in your body protesting after a day of being moved and jostled. The last thing you want is to move right now, but you have to.

The pain meds have done little to help.

The crutch at the end of your bed must be a thousand miles away as you sit there and stare at it. The ache in your body only increases as you become more and more aware of the pain, almost as if it can tell what it is your mind is planning.

The door is cracked open, letting in a slit of light from outside. It’s dark in the room, the curtains pulled over the window. It’s a blessing compared to the bright yellow light outside the door. You welcome the darkness as your head begins to throb. You could call for assistance. You’d get more help than you needed. More help than you want.

No.

You need to do this.

The effort it takes to get standing nearly sends you back onto the bed. The pain nearly blinds you as your feet touch the floor, your body leaning against the side of the mattress out of desperation. If you fall, you’ll never be alone again. You can’t afford that. You don’t want that.

If you fall, you’ll never get up again.

The breaths out of your nose are short and sharp as you reach for the crutch, fingers trembling in the effort to fight the pain threatening to blind you. You’re trembling like a leaf in a storm as your fingers finally wrap around the cool metal. The rubber bottom drags across the floor as you tug it over to you, holding it against your chest for a moment.

Breathe. That’s what you need to do. Breathe.

In and out.

Nice and slow.

The pain is only a memory. The pain is nothing. The memories forming at the edges of your mind will take over and wipe out the pain and the misery. You just have to be sure. You just have to be certain.

You push yourself upright using the crutch, tucking it under your arm. You should go back to bed. You should rest.

No.

You need to know.

You need to be certain.

The first step you take nearly makes you sick.

It’s like watching a baby deer walk for the first time, knees wobbling, feet shaking. You lean heavily on the crutch, your determination the only thing keeping you from tumbling to the floor in a heap. That might almost hurt worse than forcing yourself to stand upright.

If you fall, you’ll never get up again.

Inch by inch you move across the floor, silently grateful for the socks on your feet. They allow you to slide across the hardwood, but they also pose a threat. Slide too far and you’ll lose your feet.

If you fall, you’ll never get up again.

The determination and your desire for certainty is what keeps you sliding inch by inch across the floor towards that strip of blinding light in front of you. It’s hovering before you, threatening you. How do you know there’s not one of them standing guard, waiting for you to try and leave? You can’t know. You don’t have a clue what’s waiting on the other side of that door. It could be nothing. It could be your entire pack.

Breathe.

In and out.

You take a moment at the door, resting your aching feet. Your body is throbbing from the effort to keep yourself upright, the sedative still numbing your brain and your movements. It’s like treading through honey, everything twice as hard as it should be. You can walk. You’ve done it before. You did it in the medical center.

You can do it here.

You use the crutch to push the door open more, your free arm still tucked in a sling to keep you from moving it. Reaching for it with that arm would have put you on the floor, would have caused more pain than you needed, would have made you fall.

If you fall, you’ll never get up again.

Breathe.

The light burns. Explosions of yellows and whites erupt behind your eyelids as you screw them tight against the sudden onslaught. The sun is in the room, shining its rays directly into your sensitive eyes. Your stomach churns, your fingers tightening around the crutch so tight your knuckles begin to ache. The oppressive light makes you want to recede back into the darkness of the room behind you like a vampire shying away from the light of day.

No.

You won’t be defeated by the harsh artificial lighting. You need to know.

You need to be certain.

The others are moving around. You can hear voices around the corner, voices upstairs with thudding footsteps. The air is thick with a mesh of scents, cleaning chemicals, and the burn of scent blocker. Your nose wrinkles at the sudden onslaught against your senses, your sedated brain making it all seem so much worse.

You need to know.

The hardwood floors continue and you use them to your advantage as you shuffle your way across the main area. The fire crackles as you pass, the popping of a log making you startle. Your feet slide again, your body pushing up against the crutch to hold yourself steady.

If you fall, you’ll never get up again.

Your target is dead ahead, a mile away but so close you can almost taste it. Just past the dining table and straight on till morning.

Despite your snail’s pace, no one seems to notice you shuffling your way across the house. It should make you upset, the fact that none of them notice you moving around, but instead it makes you glad. They’d try to stop you if they noticed you, turn you around and shuffle you back to bed. Or worse, they’d carry you.

How easily you could slip away, though.

Well...in theory.

Perhaps that’s why they ‘re not paying you any mind. How far could you really go in your current state?

Why would you want to stray from the only safe space you have?

The world outside is more dangerous with the state you’re in. Not just because of your injuries and your status, but also because you know Shepherd is still out there, and for all you know Graves is as well.

He could be waiting right outside the door.

No.

They’d know.

They’d protect you.

They failed.

You push past the fear in favor of certainty as you push forward, passing the dining table in your slow crawl towards the sliding glass door.

It poses an entirely new threat as you stand before it, staring out the darkened glass. You have to get it open. Getting it open takes strength and you’re down to one hand that’s trying to keep you upright.

You have to know.

You have to be certain.

You lean your weight on the crutch, ignoring the way it digs into your armpit as you reach for the handle. You click the lock, wrapping your fingers around the plastic before pulling. Your body screams with pain as you tug, the door sliding in the track as slowly as you had moved across the small living area. It’s almost as if it's mocking you.

It’s open only as wide as you need to crutch your way through, doing your best not to knock your left shoulder against the frame.

If you fall, you’ll never get up again.

Breathe.

You can smell it.

The salty sea air invades your senses, slipping up through your nose and straight into your brain. Memories come flooding back of childhood vacations back when things were simpler. Back when nothing mattered but the sand and the water and avoiding getting chased by your brothers carrying the piece of seaweed they found.

Polkadot bathing suits, bright red to be seen easily. Toes in the water, sand everywhere. The nap in the silent car home.

How simple life was back then. How easy life was.

Your heart aches for those days again. The days when you could exist without a care in the world, trusting your pack would keep you safe, trusting your family would care for you. Your mind yearns for that sense of safety and security again.

The world is grey as you hobble across the porch, the grey seeming to go on forever. You missed it, the chill in the air, the gloomy grey overhead. How you yearned for the gloom of England while stuck in the heat of Texas.

Anything is better than Texas.

Your forward shuffle pauses at the edge of the deck, your eyes looking out into the grey. Your breath catches in your throat as you stare out into the distance, the ache in your chest intensifying. It blocks out the pain in your body, numbing you to everything else as you stand there, legs trembling from the effort of going the short distance from your room to the end of the porch.

You can see it.

Emotions swirl inside of you like a hurricane as you stare out where the grey water meets the grey sky in the line of the horizon. Those emotions threaten to choke you as you stand there trembling at the edge of the porch. There’s a breeze, a cold one that bites through the fabric of your sweatshirt and into the skin below, but you don’t care.

You can’t care.

Your legs shake from the exertion, the neverending exhaustion that’s settled deep into your bones. It’s not just a physical exhaustion, but a mental one as well. It’s been a long week.

Only a week.

So much has happened in a week.

You want to sit. You want to sink down onto the porch and rest.

If you fall, you’ll never get up again.

There’s a pain in your chest as your breath catches in your throat. The emotions are whirling, tightening around your chest, squeezing your lungs until they feel like they might pop.

Breathe.

In and out.

You needed certainty. You needed to know.

You can hear it. You can smell it. You can see it.

A single tear rolls down your cheek as you stare out at the sea.

NEXT ->

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#call of duty #call of duty fic #poly 141 x reader #task force 141 x reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #kyle garrick x reader #gaz x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #soap x reader #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #a/b/o #omegaverse

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meoproject · 2 months ago

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I said I'd do one of Val, and I did. You can once again tell that I worked on different pictures on different days because the line quality is sorta inconsistent... oh well.

This is a bit shorter than Beriith's section because she hasn't lived quite as long as he has, and doesn't need worldbuilding loredrops to explain stuff. Still! She has lived experience and her story isn't "coming of age" story, she is very much an adult. Unlike with Beriith (where I had to be sorta vague about exact ages) I can be a bit more precise with Val.

(as a reminder, in this setting elves [and most other long-lived humanoid species] mature from child to adult like humans do, but their aging slows down somewhere at late 20s/early 30s, so as she is currently in her early 30s, she is comparable to a 30-year-old human in mental, physical and legal maturity. I know some settings have elves mature slower, but this is not one of those settings.)

More info under cut, sorry it’s long once again

CHILD

Valeria is the eldest of three children; she has a (middle child) and a sister (the youngest child). As a child, she is cheery and sweet-natured. Her parents' wealth means she never goes without anything. She is not exactly spoiled, but she's definitely used to a certain... standard, even as a child. She gets along with her siblings well, and likes being a big sister, which is good, because her parents are aloof and distant, and lot of Val's "parenting" is done by different nannies and teachers.

When she's very young, she witnesses her father argue with her Aunt (his sister, that is.) and as her aunt storms out, she takes a brief moment to talk to Valeria, telling her that she probably won't come around anymore (not that she often did anyway) and she should never let anyone tell her what to make of her life. She gifts Valeria her hair ribbon, a gift Val will keep with her all the time from that moment on. She writes Val letters for a few years, but they eventually fall out of regular touch.

TEENS

As a teen, Val is. Hm. It's complicated. She's not really a wild, rebellious teen, but it's during her teen years when she gets several realizations about her family and about what she wants to do. While as a small child she didn't really have enough knowledge of the world to realize how distant and, frankly, emotionally neglectful, even abusive, her parents are, as a teenager she starts to realize this. Her parents are shitty and distant, and not at all like the parents of many of her friends and peers. She doesn't directly rebel or anything, but she starts paying attention, and definitely gains some context about her aunt as a result.

Her ideas for her future continue to crystallize. Inspired by her estranged aunt and the meeting she had with her in her childhood, she decides to pursue an academic career to differentiate herself from her family. She knows that technically she could probably use her family name for leverage, but wants to prove herself, and as such, she spends a lot of time studying to get ready to apply to her chosen university, to become a mage. It takes her several attempts to get in - Serenzia University of Thaumaturgy is fairly prestigious, and there is a lot of competition over spots. As mentioned, Val could probably leverage her family and their connections to have an easier time to get in, but she absolutely wants to get in by her own merits.

EARLY TWENTIES

Once she gets accepted to the university, she kinda... lets loose? "Early twenties" is Val's "Party Phase." While as a child and teenager she mostly lived in social circles connected to her parents, at the university she was finally free to make friends who had no connections to her family, and student party life took her for several years when she was in her early twenties. Casual relationships, alcohol, mild recreational drugs, parties and get-togethers, the whole thing. She wasn't like super wild and didn't go too overboard... but she definitely was known for partying, to the point of her having to take an extra year to finish her studies, as she kinda ended up dropping out of several required courses due to lack of focus and had to retake them. Oops.

Her relationship with her parents continues to be bad. They're kind of whatever about Val's whole university career, and while they're not too happy about her partying ways, they're kind of whatever about that as well, as long as she isn't... too embarrassing about it. For example, they strictly forbid her from having serious relationships, for reasons which will become apparent later, but for now she's fine with it because serious long-term relationships aren't in her interests anyway. Her relationship with her siblings deteriorates somewhat, not because of her partying, but more like... they developed into different directions and all deal with the side effects of neglectful parenting in their own ways, and don't quite have the maturity to deal with it yet.

Eventually, she starts taking her studies actually seriously, and proves herself to be skilled and hard-working, with some degree of natural talent to magic.

LATE TWENTIES

By her late twenties, Val has started her long graduate program to become an Archmage of Thermomancy. She has left her partying ways almost behind by that point as well. First, and most important, she more or less grew out of the whole thing. It was her testing her wings and getting carried away by sudden freedom, and it was not something that would be a long-term lifestyle; after her first few years she kinda fell off the party wagon gradually, and by the time she starts her graduate program, she's less into wild parties and more into "wine and theater" or "chill restaurant night" kinda get-togethers. Second, she has, um, she has an experience at the start of her program. When she gets accepted into the program, someone starts a rumor she is sleeping with several professors in exchange for her spot in the program. The rumors get serious enough that even the professors in question hear about it, and the university has to start an official investigation on it. Val (and the professors) is eventually officially cleared, it... changes things. Val is a lot less interested in hanging out with random people, and while she doesn't like... lose her faith in humanity or anything, she becomes more guarded and careful. She loses her serious-ish partner (they weren't long term yet, but Val kinda thought it could happen, despite what her parents want) who never really comes around to the idea that the rumor was a complete lie. Several of her casual friendships go the same way when the whole thing is going down. And several professors think Val herself is behind the rumor and become colder towards her as a result.

Whoever started the rumor is never identified or punished for their actions.

Over the years, the whole thing kinda... fades from memory, but occasionally someone still asks if "anyone remembers that chick from a few years ago who fucked a professor for better grades or something."

In any case, by her late twenties, Val is more serious about her studies and has her university career mapped out.

CURRENT

Val, in her very early 30s, is mostly done with her graduate program, basically just looking for a final project and thesis subject. Life is. It's good enough? She occasionally teaches starter courses at the university -- she doesn't really need the money (rich family :( ) but it's something she enjoys anyway, and it keeps her in the university circles while she tries to figure her thesis out. Her goal is to finish it in a year, whatever is the subject, and then she'll start working in a research team, and maybe even become a proper professor one day...

But then, one day, her parents drop a bomb on her. They've found a husband for her, from nobility no less, and she is expected to get married within six months, so your university career is kinda over, maybe your husband is ok with it, but whatever, you prioritize getting along with your future husband now, none of that thesis stuff. So, Val thinks, fuck that. She's not going to get married. She's going to ditch the whole goddamn city, and find her aunt, who for sure she has resources to help her, or at least to help her get started. Transfer to another university. Anything but getting married to some dude she doesn't even know.

But she can't escape alone. In the years past, mages used to summon Hellhounds to act as bodyguards whenever they traveled solo, and while the practice has largely fallen out of use, it's still done occasionally, and instructions to the summoning ritual are easily available.

Except, something goes weirdly wrong...

#art #digital art #original character #elf #fantasy #worldbuilding #project:a fantasy setting #long post

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happynowyo · 2 years ago

Text

Reflection, part 2

A/n: feel free to send request if you want to see some particular scenes in this fic between different characters or if you want me to write some other stuff based on some prompts with Kaz💜

And one more thing. The timeline in this fic takes place after season 1 of SaB but Pekka didn't frame Kaz, Inej and Jesper for murder. Matthias is too good to stay in Hellgate so let's imagine that Kaz was in a good mood one day and helped Nina (from the book kanon) to get him out just as she asked him over and over again. Wylan is a part of the Crows as well but no one except for Kaz knows that he's Van Eck.

Fandom: Six of crows

Warnings: Kaz Brekker and everything that goes with him

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x ShadowSummoner!OC

Summary: wandering about Ketterdam leads Jess to an unexpected encounter.

Word count: 1,7k

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

Tag list: @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @valkyrie05x

The small hotel, located in the business part of the town, looked quite decent. But not enough to convince Jess that Ketterdam could claim to be the fair capital of Kerch.

The journey by sea took several weeks and by the end of it Jess was literally sick of the sight of the water and the noise of waves. She was endlessly bored, but deep down she consoled herself that the calm routine on a ship was far better than being anywhere near the Fold. The farther away she stayed from it, the safer it was.

A few weeks spent in near silence, with the exception of a brief dialogue with the captain, allowed her to put her thoughts in order and fully comprehend what had happened. At night Jess saw her father in her dreams over and over again, and he was so much like his old self, the one who had affectionately stroked her hair and spoiled her with fascinating stories from the past, that it seemed wild to her that the same man could try to subdue Alina to take her power of Sun summoner and use it to destroy everything and everyone around.

The contrast was so great that it was still hard to believe. Jess remembered perfectly well that her father was capable of cruelty, and the scars left on her back as the terrifying reminder were itchy but he was her father, and she was trying to hold on to the good things that had once bound them together. Baghra would surely scold her for that and call her a weak foolish girl whose naivety would lead to a bad outcome, but hadn't Baghra herself stayed by Aleksander's side for centuries and supported him by going along with her motherly feelings?

Jess was well aware of her grandmother's combative nature. Baghra would have found a way to kill the Darkling long time ago if she really wanted to stop him. Perhaps she clung to the idea that time would change Aleksander and allow him to pacify his lust for power and his hatred of the royal dynasty, that used the powerful Grishas as toys for entertainment at fancy parties, and Jess could not blame Baghra for that blind hope for the best.

When she arrived in Ketterdam, the first few days fell entirely out of her mind as she rested and slept pretty much all the time. Dreams saved her from the severe anxiety that came in choking waves and filled every cell of her body. Along with it there were some destructive thoughts full of obsessive paranoia. The Darkling was the strongest Grisha she had ever known, and she could easily imagine the rage her father would feel when he learned of her runaway. She would never be safe as long as he lived, but now Jess had no one who could truly confirm the Darkling's death in the Fold. She wished she had a mass of useful spies in different parts of the world, like Baghra, but she clung to the tip about Nina.

Jess was a couple of years older than Nina, but their rooms were next to each other in the East part of the Little Palace. That was one of the first reasons for their friendship. The other was that their impulsive nature and desire to act out of spite caused them to be punished by their teachers more often than anyone else. They practiced together, spending time chatting and also helping each other during their studies, trying to get their powers under control. Jess joked that she volunteered to be a guinea pig for Nina when she slowed her heart or made it gallop when Nina tried to squeeze her lungs, depriving her of oxygen and instantly plunging Jess into a state of animal panic for her life.

They got along well, so well that they once trusted each other with their most intimate secrets. Technically, Jess was known as one of the servants in the Little Palace. Baghra insisted that the fact of her kinship with Aleksander should have remained in shadows because of the fear of possible future consequences. But the burden of that truth grew heavier and heavier as the years went on. Nina was her only friend and Jess found it increasingly difficult to lie to her about why she always disappeared in the evenings. So on her fifteenth birthday she told Nina about her ability to summon shadows. Putting two plus two together was easy as everyone knew that such a gift was only inherited through the Morozov's bloodline.

Nina appreciated the trust that had developed between them, so in return she opened up about the planned escape. Jess was well aware that her friend was opposed to the idea that Grishas should serve the Crown without complaint and unconditionally participate in someone else's war as part of the First Army. Nina was a hopeless romantic and a relentless adventurer. She wanted something more out of her life besides orders, fear, and endless fighting with creatures in the Fold.

Perhaps it would have been easier for the two of them to run away together, but Baghra kept saying that Jess lacked self-control and the Darkling would instantly send an entire group to find her. The moment was not suitable and with tears in her eyes she had to let Nina go alone, enduring her father's interrogations later, when the alien darkness surrounded her with a thick veil and hurt by touching bare skin. Even if her father guessed the truth, he could not learn it from Jess.

Now she wanted to think that the memory of their former friendship would help her connect with Nina, though she was worried that Nina's opinion of her might have changed over the years. She could believe that Jess had helped her father of her own will and not by the order with the threat of cruel punishment, because who really cared about such details? During the war your motives and sincere desires don't mean anything — it's your actions that matter. And that's how Jess soothed her conscience after another nightmare that threw up pictures of the horrible things Aleksander forced her to do.

Finding someone in an unfamiliar city was a new task for Jess, but she was always the one to learn quickly, so the good two hundred kruge left in the hotel receptionist's pocket helped to get the names of a couple of places where Heartrenders usually worked. After visiting these places, however, Jess was left with nothing. If Nina had ever worked there, it wasn't under her own name. So her next attempt was the town square. You can understand a lot about the people of any place if you listen to what they say.

So Jess lurched in the shadows, clinging to scraps of other people's conversations about debts, gangs, Dime Lions, brothels and tourists. The flow of information poured over her in an avalanche, made her get lost in the names and places. Everything began to blend into indecipherable white noise, and Jess stopped focusing so much on her self-control. The shadows instantly came alive, licking her fingers with a unbodied chill and becoming thicker under the visor of some fancy bakery. The anxiety began to override clear thoughts, and Jess shook herself off just in time to see two guys walking past her, making lively conversation.

The vaguely familiar "Nina insisted that this is where they sell the best pistachio ice cream" caught her attention, and she let her curiosity take over, following the pair in a decent distance. She hadn't been able to follow them all the way, however, as someone's hand suddenly tugged at her shoulder, pulling her sharply into an empty alleyway. Her shoulder joined painfully with cold bricks, and Jess felt both indignation and fright as she looked up to see some Suli girl, whose face was half concealed by a grey cloak. She looked so thin and frail at the first side that Jess was surprised that the girl held the blade so confidently at her throat. Not the first time, apparently.

— The city is drowning in corrupt politicians and dishonest merchants, but you guys still rob an ordinary tourist? — the silly joke flew off her tongue before her brain had time to assess the dangerous situation.

Suli's brown eyes narrowed but her grip on Jess' shoulder was still firm.

— You were too focused on my friends for a tourist. Jesper spotted you three blocks back.

— I honestly don't understand…

— Did Pekka send you? Is he so desperate that now he's recruiting some pretty faces from Ravka? Your accent is minimal but my hearing is too trained.

The stranger's face remained impenetrable, so blank that Jess immediately noticed the contrast with the anxiety that flashed in the girl's eyes. God, if Nina wasn't in Ketterdam and Jess had come all that exhausting way for nothing, just to die in an empty alley because of someone else's suspicions, then Aleksander had better be dead indeed so he would never learn of such an embarrassment.

— Look, I arrived in Ketterdam three days ago and I have no idea who Jesper, Pekka and who else are! I'm looking for an old friend, Nina Zenik, I heard a familiar name in the crowd and just followed, so you don't have to worry about your safety. Whatever problems you have with Pekka, I won't give you any trouble, — Jess felt much more confident, though Suli's skeptical look full of mockery made it clear that she doubted Jess' ability to hurt anyone. That's better.

— How do you know Nina?

The jubilation that gripped Jess could be compared to the first alcohol in life that hits instantly and intoxicates too fast. Or to the time when she'd managed to confront her father and her shadows had swallowed his whole. She didn't hide the relieved exhale and visibly relaxed, pulling the stranger's dagger away from her with a slight smile.

— We'd been neighbors once. I hadn't seen her in a few years but I hoped to get some help. It's a matter of life and death, literally, and if you agreed to take me to her, I'd owe you forever.

— You know, Jesper says the same thing when he tries to convince me to leave him with cards alone for another game, it's a surprise you haven't met each other yet.

Part 3

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #inej ghafa #six of crows #nina zenik #the darkling #aleksander morozova #kaz brekker x oc

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asheepinthenight · 6 months ago

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Hi! I read your IF for the first time recently and completed the survey so I didn't think I'd necessarily comment here, but then you gave this answer to the transformation ask: "I expect most MCs will transform metaphorically, but depending on your choices, they may get a few magical additions, too! I don't want to spoil too much, so that's all I'll say about it for now!"

May I say I literally squealed? I didn't expect actual physical changes would be a thing, so I just dumped that thought into the "impossible dreams" related to this game. This made me genuinely so happy! My MC is extremely open minded and fascinated by magic, so it's very likely it will go that way in my playthrough's case!

Oh and while I'm at it, since I'm writing already, I may as well ask something! So, I'll start by saying I love Hawk. I love Hawk so much. They may very well be among my favorite ROs in any IF I've read, despite the story clearly being in it's early'ish stages still. Now, thing is... While I feel like my MC has a pretty "easy time" getting close to Shea (strictly platonic feelings), I have noticed that in Hawk's case, the type of MC I have has less... "gentle" interactions with them. I don't mean Hawk seems to dislike my MC or anything (it doesn't appear to be the case) - but basically, my MC is soft and obedient overall, but also very responsible, and tries to manage everything as good as he can, be it cooking, not offending in any circumstances and what not. Basically, he's as non-problematic as possible. And from what I saw when exploring other choice options out of curiosity, I have come to realize most of the time interactions that could be considered closer to "emotional" are rather linked to MCs who are more clumsy and what not. Now, I'm not under the impression the game "favors" any kind of MC or that the relationships use "points" so I'm not worried per se, but I was curious if this will even out later on (as in, if some kind of scenes will be more exclusive to my type of MC), or is it simply that less "independent" MCs have an easier time early on due to Hawk's personality?

I just can't stress enough that I never felt as if my playthrough was lacking or anything! I just noticed more stuff when I read through some "out of character" options (as in, OOC for my MC) out of curiosity! And well, it got ME curious about the structure and the relationship!

I hope the question doesn't come up as too weird - like I said, the story is great as it is anyway!

I like having the surveys as an option for people, just for my own curiosity, so it will be interesting to eventually see how many MCs are hesitant to get involved with magic and how many are like, "Yes, I would like ALL of it, please!"

Those are great questions about the tone of Hawk's interactions with MC—answers are below the cut due to length!

Hawk is still very much at the stage where they think that MC will just be a brief, neutral presence in their life—no need to interact beyond the minimum. Just another being living in their tower, doing their own thing! The only big exception to that so far is MCs who are especially sensitive to their abrasiveness and/or prone to getting themselves into hazardous situations. If MC seems like they can handle Hawk's brusqueness and take care of themself (even if they're just pretending at it), Hawk will leave them to their own devices. But even though Hawk pretends they don't really care about anyone outside their tiny circle of friends (though it would be difficult to even get Hawk to call them "friends"), they very much do. So if MC seems like they're particularly sensitive to Hawk's whole... everything or are in dire need of assistance, Hawk will let their own guard down a little to help them without being too much of a jerk. It won't be too much longer before all MCs start seeing a softer side of them, though. More anxious and clumsy MCs just get an advance preview! MC's personality will flavor their relationship (e.g. MCs who like to banter with Hawk will see Hawk start that banter more often, and MCs who don't tend to banter will often get more sincere responses), but only specific, major choices will ever lock an MC out of a relationship with either RO. (Those choices will be pretty obvious and will probably even get OOC notes in the text to point them out!)

If you're curious about "points" specifically, TE doesn't have romance points, in the traditional sense, that will direct you to or away from either RO. In addition to a few personality variables for MC, there are a number of variables that track how the ROs view MC, but none of these will lock MC out of or into a relationship with either RO. They're specifically for making the ROs' actions feel consistent with how MC interacts with them. For example, there's a stat for each RO for the aforementioned banter as well as stats for things like trust and more traditional "romance" stats like flirting. Although some interactions may feel less romantic/friendly or may not appear depending on specific variables, that doesn't mean the relationship is doomed by any means! It may just be a little slower burn.

So this is a very long answer, but hopefully it helps! I see TE as more an interactive novel than a "game" that's focused on hitting target stats to pass checks. The variables it does have are solely for making the story feel true to who a given MC is and the choices they make.

#asks

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the-bad-batch-baroness · 1 year ago

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Hi <3 I am very curious about your Mermaid!Tup fic. Do you mind sharing a bit about it?

Affzgshajjdjsjs, yes, I would love to!!!!

Okay, so the untitled Mermaid!Tup fic is my creative take on the events of The Little Mermaid, but with the clones.

The inspiration came after I watched the live action little mermaid movie. I don't have anything written, but the outline is there.

Now, I've taken some creative liberty here and switched some stuff up to make it work for me, so try to bear with me.

First of all, Rex is the King of all seven seas. Then he has his brothers, who are the commanders of the individual seven seas. For example, Cody is in charge of the North Pacific and Wolffe the North Atlantic.

Now Rex has seven sons, who will eventually take over as commanders of the seven seas when they retire(?) or die(?). I'm keeping a very militaristic twist on this fic.

Jesse is the oldest (and most stressed), Kix is the second oldest, then you have the twins, Fives and Echo, then Hardcase, then Dogma, and finally, the youngest is Tup.

Each brother has a dynamic within the story. Tup is the "Arial" of the story. He's obsessed with the human world and absolutely bored to tears by war, politics, and battle strategy.

A lot of the story elements remain the same, just with a few twists. Like Tup's "Flounder" isn't a fish, but it's actually Dogma. He tries to talk Tup out of everythinggggggggg.

Now, the underlying conflict of this story is that the humans are actually harvesting merpeople because of some myth that their tails have mystical healing powers, and the council of commanders and Rex are actively trying to stop it.

So, having not just one, but two of his sons skipping out on briefings causes a lot of tension between Rex and Tup, leaving Dogma somewhere in the middle.

Anddddddddd, that's all for now! Don't want to spoil the good stuff 😉

#tbbb converses #tbbb writes #mermaid!tup #mermaid!tup x reader #tup x reader #clone trooper tup #tcw tup

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piglii · 1 year ago

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Just finished Misericorde volume 1! Putting this all under a read more but I'll drop a quick spoiler-free review, followed by a spoiler-full review followed by just some of my theories regarding the mystery elements.

Everything below the cut!

Spoiler-Free Stuff:

I really enjoyed it. The mystery still needs more pieces before I'll feel like I can confidently say anything for sure but I have some ideas brewing. I'll be pretty psyched to move into the heavier mystery elements, this first volume definitely feels more focused on getting to know all the characters (which I like! I like pretty much everybody in their own way but I do want to give a special shoutout to Hedwig for being a main character that I actually really enjoy, which is pretty rare for me. She is insanely relatable on a personal level I wasn't expecting.)

And the art style's nice! I really like how the nuns are all basically wearing the same thing but have such distinct faces and tones that you can usually tell them apart. I definitely have my favorites (Aside from Hedwig herself... probably Darcy, Katherine, Moira, Eustace in that order but I really do like all of them a lot.) Also the music is pretty good. It's very fun and dynamic. I've re-listened to only a couple of the songs from the soundtrack outside of reading the VN itself but I particularly like the song that plays in the intro and Glass Chapel, which plays very early on and is probably the moment I really got interested in the story.

It's hard to give too much more away in this section without spoiling stuff but suffice to say I really enjoyed it so far. I'm hoping I can get more people to read it cause I really wanna talk about the characters and mystery and such. But I recommend. Here's the steam page if you want to check it out for yourself.

The only real criticism I have so far is technicaly, and it's that there's an audio cue for people knocking on doors that sounds extremely realistic with my headphones on that almost made me jump out of my seat several times, which I don't think was necessarily intentional? A less realistic knocking sound effect would... definitely be appreciated, that shit freaked me out like every time.

As for story criticisms, I prefer to wait until something is actually over to say anything. There could be something early on where I'm like "man that seems like bad!" and then 2 volumes later it could turn out to be a purposeful plot element or an interesting subversion of expectations. And then I would look very silly. Not that I really do have a lot to say plot criticism wise because it's early on, but I'd definitely like to see how it all shakes out first.

Anyways, more stuff below. SFW Sasukes to save your virgin eyes from spoilers.

SPOILERY STUFF

I really do like Catherine II. Love a good "character who is not physically there but had such tremendous gravity on the setting that their departure is still being felt as everything gets bounced back around from the lack of weight." In particular, her intro talking to Hedwig (which I revisited just a couple nights ago, streaming it for a friend) really grabbed me.

I would say Hedwig's whole lifelong predicament of being an Anchoress will definitely strike home with people like me who are kinda uuuhhhhhhhh extreme homebodies. I definitely feel like Catherine II's brief relationship with Hedwig is pretty analogous to people who've made many of their friends online - never actually getting to see or touch them but still having them impact your life all the same. In particular, when you've spent most of your life alone. Not to be too personal or anything but I've only really recently had long-time internet friends move close enough to me to be in regular driving distance in the past few months and it's led to more social interaction in the span of a few months than I usually get in years, and I can definitely relate to Hedwig's confusion about everything. But I do find her really charming as a main character. Her constant feeling of not feeling like she belongs even as most of the sisters are trying to be kind to her in their own way make me wish I could pop open an ice cold ginger ale for her. Maybe hand her a GBA SP and watch her go crazy on Pokemon Emerald, I don't know. I just find her very moe.

I definitely have a lot more to say about this topic but I'd feel like it's kind of personal to just drop in the middle of this all so I'm gonna keep it to a minimum with just that previous paragraph. Suffice to say, Hedwig has been one of the most enjoyable protagonists for me personally in a long while. I usually prefer lesser known side characters but she just really grabbed me.

Anyways.

It had a lot of little moments I love. Everyone's characterized in a way that really makes them stand out - in particular, I do feel like literally everyone at this the abbey in some way either Have Problems or have been rejected by society for some other reason. Pretty much everybody here is a reject or an outcast and despite their bickering, the nuns do generally make an effort to show they care for eachother. Which, you know, if you're a tumblr user reading this I'm sure you will find something there. You will probably see a particular character and go, "Oh yeah, I know someone exactly like this personally." I do love a good story about people who are generally outcast by society getting to know people that care about them and understand them in a way the rest of the world wouldn't exactly. It's gud. Nothing terribly novel but I think it's executed well, which is the important bit.

I do have some smaller thoughts on stuff but nothing terribly important enough to write out here, so instead I'm just putting a compilation of some of my favorite little moments, followed by theories.

(I promise this game isn't an eroge or anything, it just has one single hot tub scene. It's tasteful. Prommy.)

Anyways.

THEORIES:

Theory #1: Regarding Catherine II

I haven't actually seen that many people talking about the prologue which is surprising to me because it obviously seems to be setting up a really big plot element, which is that I presume one of the women at the abbey are the character only labelled as "The Handsome Man" in disguise. Having gotten caught up in the War of the Roses and all that fun stuff, I assume he flees to the abbey to lay low for a while. Now I assume part of the story will unfold such that you'll be led to assume that it's one of the cast we've already gotten to know... but my money is that this is Catherine II. Now, I can't say for certain if this is going to lead into any kind of trans-ish territory because it is the 15th century, but I could definitely very much see a path where this story presents a person living in this time in an era where it wouldn't be accepted to be trans, and have that essentially be part of the plot without saying it directly. I think this would go a long way towards explaining her absolute fervor for living life and finding something that brings you joy that she tried to inspire in all of the other nuns. I can imagine a scenario in which the Handsome Man has to go into hiding cause of political reasons, shows up at this abbey disguised as a nun and finds that they actually enjoy it incredibly, and essentially does the 15th century version of transitioning. If that is the direction the story is going, I think that'd be sweet, though it would be kind of sucky in the respect that the whole story kind of revolves around her murder.

That being said, I don't think she was murdered. I straight up think Eustace is lying in the near final scene we get at the end of Volume one. My current theory is that Catherine II is, and I'm not sure how to say this well, doing some Scooby-Doo villain ass-shit in regards to the monstrous apparition we keep seeing. My only guess as to why she would do this is out of fear of being recognized in the midst of this war, and deciding to go even deeper cover as the boogeyman of this creepy old abbey. Theoretically, if Catherine II in her Scooby-Doo ass disguise could frighten everyone out of the abbey, then she'd have free reign of the place until the war was over. It'd be a much safer position to be in than trying to actively disguise yourself as a nun. In this theory, I would also have reason to believe that she's the one who carved that evil looking sigil near Hedwig's cell, to discourage her even more from looking into the mystery. It would be a great parallel to Hedwig's dilemma vis a vis being alone and in peace versus having to be around others and living with a sort of constant discord. Like, if Catherine II makes the choice to ultimately go into permanent solitude, hiding by herself for the rest of her life while Hedwig chooses to do the opposite (I'm holding out hope that the finale will have her choosing to leave her cell again. Committing some double-dipping on that particular sin, hell yeah), I think that would make for some interesting, opposite-bound character arcs. You know, some criss cross. With the character arcs.

ALSO: Side note, I think the person that Hedwig is talking to at the very beginning post one year timeskip (who, you know, is kind of a stand-in for the reader but whom I assume is an actual character we know of) is, I think, Catherine II herself. I can't think of anyone more fitting to be filled in on all of the details, given that the majority of the other characters would already know most of what's happened. Also, it would mean getting a fun little scene to parallel the first scene we got of them getting to know eachother, which is still probably my favorite scene in this whole VN so far.

Anyways, I think the best evidence I have to support this is how touch and go Catherine II was with her friendships (and maybe more than friendships...?)

She'd get close to people by taking an interest in their hobbies... get to know them pretty intimately... and then maybe privately grow fearful that they'd discover her secret and move on to someone else. That's my best guess, anyways. Perhaps she just has severely undiagnosed ADHD. But it would track considering that she seems to be knowledgeable about several areas that I don't feel like you're average commoner would know - how to play music, playing chess, etc etc. She had all these crazy talents and a very sharp mind, and it wouldn't be strange to know a commoner that could do one or two of these things, but it really does seem like Catherine II had a working knowledge of many things, which would make sense to me if she were raised to be a person of higher status.

I think maybe the only character that was in the know was probably Eustace herself given that she mentions they were the two that were closest. I can definitely imagine a world in which Eustace is still actively collaborating with Catherine II, thus her very lurid story about carrying Catherine II's severed head. This would, naturally, implicate Moira as well since Eustace mentions that they both personally handled Catherine II's body, a story that I think might just be a total fabrication. I'm not 100% sure that Moira is in on it but it's a little more likely, I think. It would also parallel the scene in which they stop by the village, with Moira and Eustace stopping to have a quick whisper that upsets Hedwig, when in fact they're just trying to cover for her little surprise party. The concept of them having secrets that upset Hedwig, but ultimately exist for a good reason would be really fitting. This little exchange would be kind of a microcosm of that, in this theory.

At the very least, if this specific theory isn't correct at all, I do still strongly believe that there are multiple conspirators.

THEORY #2: Regarding the Sword

So this one's a little more vague and I haven't quite figured out a way to slot it into everything yet, but I feel like it's worth mentioning. I do think there are two swords at play, which would be a really good way to liven up the mystery. I think the investigation of the mystery will reach such a point that it simply doesn't make sense for there to have been only one sword as the murder weapon - my only real reasoning is based entirely on this biblical quote spoken by Eustace:

"And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough."

Which makes sense for the context of the situation in that they are literally splitting up to find Flora. But also, if it were a direct reference to the fact that there are two swords that could be the murder weapon at play, that would be a really funny to put such a direct hint in plain Latin so early on, just right in front of the reader's face.

If this theory is correct, I do think it'll be more relevant once we get into the nitty gritty of investigating the murder itself. The real nuts to butts of who was doing what, where and when. I think things will present themselves in such a way that it will have been impossible for the murder to have been committed with the sword... unless there were secretly a second sword, for some reason.

Wait also it just occurred to me that Angela keeps a dagger (the eponymous Misericorde, right? I think?) and that definitely could've been the weapon used to inflict the smaller wounds on Catherine II before the decapitation. Hmmmmm. Much to think about.

THEORY #3: Regarding Romance

This is very vague and probably not a surprise but I'm quite sure that at least two of the nuns are in a relationship. I'd imagine this will play into the actual mystery somehow, but I could not tell you specifically how. I'm not sure I could even really name you who specifically (Besides Katherine and James' thing, obviously but that's already been revealed.) But, like, come on. Look at these.

I'm not particularly good at eke-ing out romantic subtext but I feel reasonably confident about this based on vibes alone. Also based on the Soup's very uuuhh heated rant near the end. I have nothing more to say on this theory because I assume it's direct relevance will be more apparent later (if this is correct.)

THEORY#4: If Catherine II WAS Actually Murdered

So pretend for a moment that my first theory is completely bunk and I am way off course. In that case, I don't think I have enough evidence to put together a reason that someone would want to murder Catherine II - given how she kind of flitted about from person to person, I can definitely see jealousy being the primary motivator. But I would be surprised if the motive were as simple as just that. I think I might actually just need more textual stuff to look at whenever the second volume comes out to really put out any kind of further guesses. There are a lot of angles and a lot of people who would technically have reason to want to murder Catherine II. It could end up being a "everyone is in on it" or a "no one is in on it" type of deal.

That being said, my top guesses as to the culprit are:

#1 - Mother Superior - Basing this entirely on vibes, brother.

#2 - Moira - She's simply way too sweet. As much as I personally like her, Moira's been very present in Hedwig's journey towards personhood and I wouldn't be super surprised if part of her motivation for doing this was to keep tabs on her murder mystery investigation while presenting a kind face.

#3 - Flora - Given Flora's consistently been the one most often to fly off the handle, I could potentially see this but don't consider it terribly likely.

#4 - Catherine II herself - It would not be totally inconceivable for the story to go this kinda dark route, though how exactly she would both injure herself, followed up by a self-decapitation in such a way as to hide herself as the perpetrator, I don't know. Then again, she was a talented woman, who knows.

#5 - The Devilish Apparition - If this is in fact not one of the other nuns playing at something, then sure, why not. I'm not of the opinion that this story is going to have actual supernatural elements but like, why not. Just throwing it out there.

And that's mostly all I have to say!

Heads up, I'm not very good at solving mysteries! I miss a lot of details and sometimes don't think of things through all angles! Sometimes I just do a vibe based reading and let the story surprise me, but having read Umineko recently (which very directly does kind of ask the reader to try solving the mystery for themselves) I am taking a more serious attempt at figuring out the key to this story before it actually happens. Sorry if I'm totally off base on some of these, but with my shotgun scattershot method, I usually hit at least one or two small things of note. Thanks if you read all the way to the bottom for this, I don't typically write out long ass posts like this but I had a lot of fun trying to figure this one out and can't wait for more people to read it, as well as for Volume 2 to come out.

If you haven't bought Misericorde but for some reason felt compelled to read through this whole post anyways, here's another link for you to go check it out! It's like 9 bucks on steam! If you were interested enough to read this spoiler-review, it'll probably be worth your time!

And if you do finish it... be sure to check out that gallery afterwards! ;)

#my posts #Misericorde #this is a bit longer than I meant it to be but oh well #tl;dr: I liked it a bunch

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kings-comic · 1 month ago

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As I mentioned in the post I did a few seconds (lol- I forgot to post if from my "brouillons" <-french tumblr again ;-;) earlier, here is a little note.

Idk if it's really clear in the way I separate the fic... SoB is the main one (maybe I should change the name of the blog) it's the present, the "linkvers" if you want, which is set in the time around OoT.

Kings is Fisher's (Link Athon) past, his memory of things that happened before... shit hit the fan let's say ;-; (Imma make it brief for spoiler reasons)

Imposter is Albi's and Ravio's timeline. They have their own story before they meet the others

Finally, if you noticed in the tags, LiT (Lost in time -why are the short versions of the names always words 😭-) is what happens after the first arc of the fic (Prince, Dielli and some other characters appear in that one) also- don't search for LiT, It's not its own fic (It's the 2nd arc of Kings in the original) and I stopped writing it a wile ago- I'm saving it for the comic, keeping my mouth shut so I don't spoil stuff ;-;

There are groups made already :)

You already know of the SMMH, but there'll be the PDF (lol- I love that name XD) ,as you probably guessed by now there's SM... there will be some others, but I don't wanna say too much ;v;

#kings comic #loz #the legend of zelda #zelda #shades of black #imposter comic #random

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star-arcana · 5 months ago

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My first Impression on Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door's Remake!!!

Long intro incoming, skip it to the *Star, if you want to rush to the first impresssion proper .

**Stars if ou want immiediately the gameplay, starting first with the combat and then with the exploration side.

***Stars if you want the story, the perhaps most interesting aspect, as usual with many beloved RPG's.

And, finally:

****Stars for a the most brief conclusion on this.

Hello everyone, your favourite arcana is here, Star-Arcana and I am here to write here my first impressions, not a full review on Paper Mario TTYD's Remake on the Switch and what I think about it.

Yep I am not going here spoiler free, since I want to mention some important events in the story (as well as other Mario RPG's like Super Paper Mario for instance), as I am already spoiled on the story for most of the stuff and now what happens, so don't read what I wrote here if you want to remain unspoiled, 'til completion of the game by your own time and pace. So do it like Edge and be against Spoilers here, she hates Spoilers, doesn't she?

Starting off, I am a huge Mario RPG fan as some of my favourite games were from that branche of the highly esteemed Mario Franchise, since he is the one I grew up with as a kid the most, other than DK, Pokemon and Smash...So I was always going to like that game, as many other people who liked these type of games said that this game is really great and ultimately I wanted to play another Paper Mario since my last one; Super Paper Mario when it came out. So, as I expected and hoped, I love that game already and it is super fun in not just gameplay, but also story. Plain and simple, it is the Mario RPG I would have loved to play as a kid back then, had I known of it's existence, but since I am an adult now, I can try it and be really happy with it, after all, adulthood still brings me much fun, if not more so than as a kid with that freedom compared to back then,hehehe...

Anway back to the topic at hand, I started to play that game for over a week, currently having finished the brutal Wrestling challenge against Rawk Hawk, the jerkiest Chicken out there, and found the yellow Crystal Star and I am currently in Rogueport and try to clean up some older levels for the coming loom in the Twilight Woods. I wanted to start this run a bit earlier, but due another game taking me longer to complete, as it was a very difficult quasi-permadeath run with Prince of Persia The Lost Crown, I was delayed until I could start TTYD last monday. Thus I got to play very recently the remake of one of the most prestigeous Mario RPG's of all time, the Gamecube's Thousand Years Door.

*Now that I made my thoughts clear, I go over this game now more throughtly:

It is a turn-based RPG within a semi open world that you explore in search of 7 Crystal Stars, as you became entangled in a millenia long secret of the town of Rogueport, sitting atop the ruins of an ancient City. You, as Mario, were brought here by Peach, who came in possesssion of an ancient treasure map leading to the Stars needed to open a Door with the same name as the title; The Thousand Years Door. You go to that town and after getting in trouble with a bunch of evil-doers known as the X-Naunts and eventually finding a treasure Map for the 7 Crystal Stars, you journey begins. You will encounter several friends on your journey and foes as well amd have to navigate through a wacky and colorful world of Paper that shines as bright as any children book with cute pictures here or a great fairy tale book.

Anyway this post will be divided into two parts, gameplay and story, and as I want to get over the least fun (but not unfuuny) part first, the gameplay!

**As I said, it is a turn based RPG within a semi open world that is very much alike other such games, like Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, Chrono Trigger and Pokémon. However it differs in a few ways, like the battlefield being a huge theater stage, with a live audience here to watch you, that can be either Toads, Koopas, Goombas and many other creatures across this journey. Know that they exist first, they will be relevant later. Going on, you can order Mario and your teamates to attack an enemy, defend themselves from them, heal HP or use any kind of moves like analysing the foe or just swallowing them and spitting them out. Certian actions however, cost action points, here called Flower Points (FP for short), and you can and you can only win by beating the enemy by making their HP drop to 0. But the biggest diffrence being there is that you can like, in the Mario and Luigi games, influence the way attacks and commands are executedby fulfilling several commands like pressing B on a foe when jumping and stomping on them, or having to press the analog stick Left or hold and press ZR. You can even add extra flare by adding style to the attacks, like pressing A at the right moment. Each move has diffrent conditions for styles, which can be properly learned by the right timing and by the Battle Master, a Pink Toad that looks like a Kung Fu Warrior, so better check her out if you want to get better.

Also the way you can minimize and even cancel damage is rather interesting; You can either guard yourself with A, when the foe attacks and expect either no or little damage, but the more rewarding, but trickier to master Super Guard, not just nullifies damage, it can also send a small portion of the damage back at it's sender, but the window of setting it up is super short and if you fail, you end up being hurt for full damage. On your journey, you collect the Stars that will open new path ways for you, but will also give your special moves that can devastate and even break fights, like the Earth Power skill that will deal big damage against your foes or Clock out which, if executed well, immobilize your enemies for 3 WHOLE turns, which made the Grubble Boss Fight a cakewalk. These Special moves needs Star power for their execution and if you attain one, you will get more and more of these points as your MAX number in total. If you used up Star power, you need to refill them by gaining appeal from the crowd via the Appeal tactic to increase it, or execute your skills very well with the aforementioned stylish moves and thus you get them all filled. However the Crowd and even the battlefield can make life hard for you, both IRL and here, since enemies can throw stuff at you from the seats, if you don't counter them with X fast enough, or the studio can have Buckets fall at you for instance, and thus recieve damage or get dizzyness and thus can miss a few attacks for a turn. However enemies can also be hurt occationally by this and lights when falling down on you can eletrify you and thus increase your attack potential. The Stage can also have some projectors freeze either you or your foe and thus get the freeze effect. So this game demands you to pay attention to the combat, lest it gets the better of you.

Items also exist that can like any boxstandard RPG Heal your HP or FP, increase stats, remove negative conditions or inflict them on your enemies and they are all over the map, but you also get Badges that either give Mario or his partners new moves, increase their defense and offense in certian conditions or increase FP usage, Max HP the amounts of them are near endless, so just know the badges exist. There is however a limit to the amount of badges you can equip as some of them either take up no badge points, and thus can always be equipped, but others take up more points, up to even 6 ones and if your BP limit is reached, you cannot equip anymore of them.

However there is a way to increase your max BP points, and also your HP and FP, by gaining enough Star Points (not to be confused with Star Power), which you will get all your stats refilled and can choose 3 of the slots to be increased, HP and FP can be increased by 5 points and BP by 3 points. Choose wisely, as you need to figure out where you want to lay importance in the most.

With this overall, the combat is fun and I want to explore more of it, but I also found it pretty easy and not as hard as I thought it would be, given this game being really old, and games used to be harder back then. Anyway the game's massive array of powerful ablilites, rather predicable and even weak enemies, as well as items being very easy to find, I have almost Max capacity if we include storage in there. I never ever lost any real fight, I didn't died just once!!! Even Rawk Hawk couldn't push me that far and he was almost able to K.Omy little Yoshi friend I cutely named Yoshigon, combining Yoshi with the last syllbes of Sargon's name, the protagonist of Prince of Persia The Lost Crown, since both of them are young, hot-headed warriors trained by skilled masters, in Yoshigon's case, it's a he, Mario!!! Ahem...With the additon of most commands being rather easy to perform, unless you also want to master Multibounce and Power Bounce with max appeal, you really have a rather easy time, and that is ok, too, since good games don't need to be hard, but fun. So, this is not the game to flex too much your skills with unless you mastered every single attack...but maybe I am too overconfident, and the game will surprise me.

The exploration side was also a rather fun endaevor, even if I wished there was a way to mark all places you cannot explore right now with an in-game feature, as making screen shots on my Switch is not super duper funny. Still the game has a lot of value in the exploration side, since the puzzles are hard enough to be engaging and not too much of a shore to deal with, even if I was a bit confused at times, luckily my teamates helped me via tips to finish the harder ones. They are also good at showcasing the new abilities and advantages you get with new gears, powers and teamates who can help you with places that seem intraversable, by making you be placed in those situations and thus get a feel as to how and when you need these powers like the grids in the Hooktail Castle or the X-marked places where you need to stomp, but only can do it once you have it. There many such places and I always see it as a good sign of game design to make the player clear when they need them by creating this sense of helplessness and confusion and then lifting it with a new ability, power or friend that helps you deal with it. Especially the whole quest within the Great Tree where the Punies live is one I enjoyed on this front the most as well as the Glitz Pit's dirty dealing, and...you know what I loved all the places...I will just mention a place where I really felt tested my mind the most, and that was the Great Tree where the Puni; You have to figure out how to lead a horde of these little Pikmin-like creatures into the dangerous dungeon in which they could get lost in should they fall into a chasm, as you need depending on your progression, a number of them to complete puzzles and open pathways, as this dungeon has locks that will only be openned when for instance 101 of these little fellas stand on the pedestal you place them there via placing a Puni orb on said pedestals to attract them. For instance I had them to cross two gaps by placing them there and have a teamate summon a gust of wind to push them into the gap, where a little water puddle is, to have them then be lift up as bubbles. Before this I have to remove the orb and place it to the pedestal on the side I want them there and after 2 more gusts, they entered the place I wanted them too. The Punies are also followed by what might be the most catchy track in the game so far, it gives me this huge Pikmin x Patapon vibe I love so much, here is the track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs1nnHXIr7A

Pikmin x Patapon crossover when?

However I felt that one puzzle wasn't obvious and that was the movable wall in the locker for lower level fighters in the Glitz Pit, as I needed to ask for advice to get in there, so I hope that better puzzles will come where I won't depend too much on this. With that said and being done, I loved the exploration and the new windows coming forth for me when I get new members and powers, I just wish it would be easier to keep track on them easier as to not miss them, soemthing like in PoP TLC, where you screenshot in game a place and memorize them. So all in all good riddles, even if some could be more obvious.

Now we come to the main meat, the Story

*** Mario RPG's have a good reputation with storytelling as it uses the most simple story and conflict in video gaming history as setting for some of the whackiest, funniest and most elegantly and gorgeously told stories within that silly Mario world of wonder and fun. They also adds dimensions to the world that few spin off from the Mario series can pull off and ultimately made us think and apprieciate the Plumber and his friends a little bit more and helped gaining many fans for him, as well as enriching our lives, such a game was Super Paper Mario to me, as it made me so engage seeing these characters put into new and wacky situations that forced them to adapt to this, like Mario having Peach at his side who is not always happy with everyone crushing on her and fighting back, Bowser having to work with mario despite wanting to grill him, and poor Luigi being treated like 2nd fiddle by everyone with him even being brainwashed and controlled by the final boss of the game, not unlike what will happen with Peach in the story of TTYD game...Yeah, spoilers...Anway the story is as follows, about getting the treasure of Rogueport underneath the city, where a Door, named the Thousand Years Door, is sealed, containing the mystery of the old town. You see, before Rogueport came into being, there was a burstling and thriving city that was destroyed in a dark, apocalpystic storm that saw the earth shook and the sky turn black within minutes and then...the city Vanished, and afterwards, a new city was built, Rogueport, above the ruins of that ancient civilization. Peach, wanting to escape her own castle stumbled on an old lady gifting her a box containing a treasure map and in her gullible curiosity, she did and got involved with the X-Nauts and captured. X-Nauts are a bunch never-do-wellers seeking that treasure as well. Mario came at the behest of Peach into this town and after saving a young woman, who wanted to research the ruins of Rogueport, from the the X-Nauts, they met with her professor and fond a treasure map containing info on the 7 Crystal Stars that can open the Thousand Years Door...So our adventures begins with us finding these Crystal Stars, uncovering the secrests of the door with twists and turns awaiting us.

However I wanna focus on the parts of the game I did enjoy the most and and express my most sincere of opinions:

Mario TTYD is to me a very well made story so far with fun dialogue I can not perfectly remember, but can always rewatch, as I recorded that game, but the stuff I remember the most for instance, is ultimately the fun I had with Mario and his teamates, which is what I wanna focus most on here. You are not alone in this game and Mario is accompanied by some of the wierdest people in the Mario world, like the young woman we saved from the evil-doers. The cheerful and curious Goombella, a Goomba and archeology student. She is really smart and puckly with a golden heart as her Ponytail, putting aside the cliche as these Fungi beings of stupidity and evil, serving as the meat grinders for Bowser's army. Goombella is also really fun and I vibe with her curiosity of places and people a lot, like how she described a gatekeeper as really nice, or vibin with me and Mario on becoming Champions at the Glitz Pit and fighting our way here. She helps you in game with telling you who the NPC you can talk with is and even was perplexed by us asking her about Luigi, saying this is your brother, you should know him. She however is also good at giving detailed information on other characters and enemies, as she can tattle foes in battle and give you info on them with flavorful text, like how Vivian is really cute, even cuter than herself, which made her a bit jealous in the remake of her and not thinking much of the ParaKoopa just describing them as what they are; Koopas with Wings. Another I like is how she described often people like Mowz, a rogue Mowser as some wierdo that flirts too much with Mario, and jokes that she probably wants to just win the record of biggest flirt ever or the time she dissed the Goombas living below Rogueport, after they treatened us, as stinky with their manners as the sewer they live in, as they probably got it from there!!! Point is, she is fun and really valuable due to her knowledge and I always have her first in my battles. Though my memories aren't perfect, rewatching my gameplay, will help recover some of it. I just love how they made a species of these grunts being so multifaceted beings with their own goals and affiliations. The other Goomba NPC's no affliliated with Bowser, and Goombella's professor Frankly, another Goomba, helps breaks these sterotypes as well. Thus Goombella, a Goomba is one of us, and not just praising Mario as world famous hero, but even fighting against Bowser, who I will get later in too. Goombella is to me Rabbid Peach, if she studied Archeology and wasn't into being an influencer.

After aquiring the Treasure map, we venture into Petalburg to find the first Cyrstal Star, Koops is a Koopa, a young lad that wants to aid us in our Quest to find the Dragon that took his Papa's life, that Dragon being Hooktail, the ruler of Hooktail Castle. She terrorized the village of Petalburg and kidnapped many villagers. Koops grew up without his Pa and has become rather timid, until he had enough and when he saw Mario in action, he gained the courage to challenge his Father's kiler, and wants to fight for his Girlfriend Koopie, who doesn't want him to proof himself like this...she likes him the way he is and wants him alive, but he won't bunge! Upon challenging and defeating that Dragon, we find out that his dad is still alive and well, due to Koopa shells being super durable, they can even survive decades long exposure to Dragon Stomach Acid...ew...anyway the Dragon is dead I since I found her death a bit funny, and I really wanna take revenge for Koops, I headcanon Hooktail's ultimate fate like this:

Yeah, vengeance is delicious...anyway we get the Crystal star and Koops decided to join us and help us out in our quest to save Peach. He is rather simple, but really cool and again, breaks like Goombella stereotypes of Koopa as weak-imbeciles serving Bowser, and having real connections and family...Koopa are really interesing it seems. Just with Goobella, he helps to add novelties in these rather simple species and his overall charming looks and personality with these cool connections, makes him really awesome!!! I love him! His Shell Guard and shell tosses are really powerful weapons and I relied on him more to deal damage than most members, as he can target more than one enemy. Anyway He is not the only member and we have another one I really like, despite me not expecting it!

Enter the glamorous and poise Flurrie, a Wind Ghost once famous as an actress in Rogueport until she had enough of that lifestyle and decded to live in the Boggly Woods to have a less tumultuous life and a more chill one. She begins her debut after we find her lost Necklace back after it was robbed of her by the Three Shadow Sirens (called just Three Shadows). These Shadows being send by the X-Nauts to terminate Mario, all the while gushing at how hot he is, to them I will get later, just now they existed and were a thing. With her ability to create Gust,we could pass through the Secret entrance to the Great Tree in the Boggly Woods, where the Puni named Punio asked for help, after the X-Nauts invaded his home and took Great tree for themselves. She is surprisingly nuanced in her positon despite being a bit too vain to leave her necklace, her past as a influencer and sometimes her flirty nature really added some humor, especially when Mario attracts several women in this game...Mario is after all a superhero, that helps with the ladies I guess. Anyway what is not vain is her love for the Punies who adore her singing and wants to protect her neightbors from these invaders. She ultimately helped us and her abilities are all good, especially her gust instant killling foes, her body slam being reliable and her draining kiss hurting and healing her. She is pretty much Flying/Fairy type and I find her amusing, especially when it comes to her views on the show life and her showing interest in Mario...which alwas cracks me up and makes me happy, since Mario is someone I really love, I even cosplayed as him, just ask my friends! We get in the Great Tree our 2nd Crystal Star.

Then there is a member I do really love and that is the Baby Yoshi you get in Glitzville, where we protect him from becoming food for Mr.Hoggle's most famous Hot Dog stand. That Yoshi hatched and I named him Yoshigon, as I already explained, by combining Yoshi and Sargon into one name; Yoshigon. Like the Immortal Sargon from Prince of Persia The Lost Crown, he is a hot-headed young warrior and I love that kid. He is soo cute and feisty, he challenges everyone and his skills are the most easy to learn and pull off, even if I messed it up nearly with him against Rawk Hawk. But We Rawked that Bird and his skills proved invaluable against that boss who used a Crystal Star against us, but he was a joke...unlike Yoshigon, who just shred them to pieces!

The interaction with these characters is always a pleasure to be had and they aren't the only thing I really love about this game.

Peach being kidnapped might be a cliche, but the absurdity of her being held captive with an unlikely ally being here to help her. TEC, the main computer of the X-Nauts HQ, who fell in love with Peach at first sight and wants to learn from her what it means. Despite how absurd it sounds, I found it somewhat funny and endearing, even if Peach had to play along to get on his good side. It is somewhat wierd to revive such a story in 2024 where we want to get away of such dangerous romances with damsels where they googly-eyed someone and used them to escape, as it puts Peach in the "I can fix him" type, but it is cliche and I hope it has a good conclusion that isn't...creepy. And I hope no one uses this to manipulate him into becoming possessive of Peach by making him consumed with fear of rejection too much, we have a world already polluted with such unhealty views on romance and jerks incapable of taking it. I had been once in love and was rejected, it was not so hard to turn into a monster, so I hope no one polludes him!

And speaking of such jerks, Bowser really is at his best here when he is pathetic and wants Peach so much he picks fights with everyone around him and even got beaten by Mario in the most random fight ever, only to, predicably lose. I love that Bowser who can be somewhat intiminating and still be pathetic.

What is also pathetic are the Shadow Sirens led by Beldam, one of the most incompetent leaders I have ever seen, who blames her younger sister Vivian for everything wrong with her plans and for mistakes Beldam actually made, like losing the poster of Mario, which costed them precious time to find him. I feel bad for Vivian, I wanna see her stand up to Beldam, cuz Beldam sucks really. I have a foundness for these characters as they are charming and give me the comical villain trio vibe who can't do anything right from all the cartoons I saw and as a Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope fan, they are to me the precursors of the Spark Hunters, especially when one of them, like Vivian will, joined us. I am talking about Edge, who is not just a better leader than Beldam could ever hope to be, but also my favourite Mario character and Vivian as her predessesor, has a great place in my heart. What also I see at the heart of TTYD is a theme of love between family, let us think about it:

We first encountered a Koopa family that was reunited after the son defeated an evil Dragon, then we encountered the Puny Punio who cares deeply for his younger sister, Petuni, who was held in in captivity by the X-Nauts. After freeing her and the other Punies, she embraced her older brother Punio and gifted him a dried Mushroom that tasted awfully, but he still ate it with love for his sister in contrast to Beldam abusing and gaslighting Vivian into taking blame for the mistakes her older sister made. Another contrast is with Jolene, the secretary of Grubble, who leads the Glitz Pit league, having worked under cover to figure out what happened to the previous champion of Glitz Pit, her younger brother Prince Mush. They were both poor, but Mush did anything for his older sister and his parents and became a pro-fighter to help them, only to be killed by Grubble, whom's secret he found out, namely using the Crystal Star to drain from the Arena the power of all fighters to maintain his strong body, as he was once a pro-fighter. Rawk Hawk has since then taken the title of champion and is a massive cheater, who even tried to make us forfeit by locking us up in the Locker for the minor league, with the backing of Grubble of course. After both were beaten, the Crystal Star resonates with Jolene's love for her little brother and Mush returned to life, and thus reuniting the two sibling via love...it seems that the Crystal Star reacts to emotions like these and if love can really do it, then it makes sense for Peach to help Tec with love, in order to save the world, as that machine could realize the errors of his ways this, well, way. Maybe Vivian needs that love in order to get out of that hole with Beldam, whom I wanna finish with a Earth Power and some stomping. Peach I hope will get a more satifsying role than being the crush of a machine, this isn't All Tomorrows, this is Mario!

Luigi gets once again the short stick in the end, as he is a confirmed liar and no help at all...no wonder Dimentio claimed you, you are embarrassing before Nintendo grew to like you more...and I love modern Luigi far more than this version, especially Movie Luigi!!!

Anyway this concludes my first impressions and I hope the game doesn't dissapoint me from here, tell me your thoughts here on tumblr or twitter, see ya then, and bye!

#star arcana revelations #mario rpg #paper mario #the thousand year door #first impressions

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lmelodie · 2 years ago

Text

The Santa Clauses

Okay so the series has concluded, and this is my series wide review of the entire thing (Long ramble under the cut). And just as an aside, if you did enjoy the series all the props to you! It’s got some good stuff in it truly. But for me personally it’s complicated.

Regarding the story, the writing was lacking to say the least. The story feels disjointed and the pacing is all out of whack, it feels like it was still trying to figure itself out in every episode. As is, I feel like it would've been better off as a movie, the episodic series format doesn't seem to gel with the story they tried to tell. But even still it was all ruined by THE ENDING. Nothing spoils a piece of media (good or bad) more than an unsatisfying ending.

I LOATHE that Simon as a character was utterly wasted the entire time. He just got to go up to the pole, cause a big mess and then get “dusted” and not remember anything at the end. I was really rooting for him to actually be reformed in some way and to end up being the next Santa instead of Scott COMING BACK. In universe it's explained that he wasn't even supposed to retire that early anyway, but I got the vibes from the entire series that the Santa position was supposed to properly go to Simon, and he learns a valuable lesson about family and charity and he gets to be a good Santa after that, and then Scott can be with his family.

Another personally niche qualm that I have, is that this series has many callbacks and references to the first two movies, BUT THEN TRIES IT'S HARDEST TO SWEEP THE THIRD FILM UNDER THE RUG. In fact, the existence of Buddy and that one half mention of Jack in the first episode are THE ONLY indicators that the third movie ever happened in this series. And I just think that's a shame.

An unexpected saving grace of this series is to actually leave out the legendary council and the Miller family, so that they are all spared of the inevitable butchering their characters would have gone through, had they been included. Unfortunately I cannot say the same for Charlie and Bernard.

Overall, the series fits in well with the movie trilogy in that it has a lot of good ideas! It is chocked full of great concepts, THAT THEY DO NOTHING WITH. All of the good world building ideas are either heavily fumbled, completely unexplained, or utterly retcons other established ideas in the trilogy.

Examples being Charlie and Bernard, whose appearances in the series were very welcome! I loved seeing both of them back. But I just wish that they were maybe written a bit better. Bernard especially, THEY FUMBLED BERNARD SO HARD. Also Carol's Mrs. Claus storyline was also extremely fumbled, it didn't have an impact, it raised a lot of questions but then gave absolutely zero answers.

On another note, here is a brief list of all the things that I actually enjoyed about the series:

Buddy as a character. His himbo energy was one of the few saving graces of the series, it kept me going through the entire thing and he was actually very funny. He takes a firm second place on my list of favorite characters.

FIRST PLACES GOES TO THE MARRIED COUPLE BETTY AND NOEL! They are my entire world and they will absolutely be included in writing stuff if I get the chance. Girlboss x malewife couple? Best decision this series made.

La Befana also has my entire heart!! I love that SHE WASN'T A VILLAIN! She was just a chill cottage witch living in the woods the whole time and I love that for her. Her vibes are so on point as well.

Bernard brought THE SASS. Bernard's energy was very very welcome and I do very much enjoy his appearance. Could've done with more screen time, but I'm just glad he's here at all.

The existence of Krampus is also very welcome. I love this funky little goatman, and I'm glad he's cannon, I just think he's neat :)

#review #the santa clauses #nonart #text post

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grimvestige · 1 year ago

Note

B) What inspired you to create them? (Tiarnan) ; C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story? (Draper) ; What memory do they revisit the most often? (Wrath!Caedrinn) :3

Triple threat!!! :O

What inspired you to create them? (Tiarnan)

Tiarnan is actually an AU of an NPC I really love RPing from my own D&D setting, The Folly of Helios! (That NPC is just called 'The Owl'!) I ended up playing Tiarnan after talking over a few character ideas with the GM for Hadreon and deciding he would fit the best.

As far as how I changed him for the setting I basically went "What if his wife wasn't dead lol" (and also changed wife to spouse bc we need more big strong nonbinary sword wielders), and from there it was lots of putting puzzle pieces together with things I liked about Hadreon! He's an enchantment wizard because it's a great specialist school mechanically and I wanted to engage with the ethical conundrum of enchantment magic + diplomacy. He ended up a rebel sidhe because I liked Leon a bunch and just wanted my character to be friends with him, and his aspect ended up getting picked based around the choice of specialty magic school & profession!

Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story? (Draper)

A lot actually! I really love Draper now, but I very much was frustrated with her at one point because the party didn't end up relying on her for the two things she was good at: healing & poisoning stuff. Plus, anything else she was okay at, there was already somebody who specialized in it.

BUT by the end of the campaign, she ended up basically brute forcing her way in lmao - she got a level in magus so she could actually hit things herself, not to mention that it was her adoptive family that played key roles in helping the party.

She's the sort of character who's a completely unwilling adventurer but is unfortunately good at it and gets roped into things because of that, which is fun to play!

What memory do they revisit the most often? (Wrath!Caedrinn)

OOOO I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY KNIGHT COMMANDER! It's fun to talk about his internal feelings since there aren't a lot of methods to explore that in-game!

The memory that Caedrinn revisits most is confronting his own reflection in the mirror and the Aeons. He feels really conflicted about having these powers thrust upon him - on one hand, they give him the ability to undo horrific curses and rituals with the snap of his fingers. On the other, they urge him to force people to repent for understandable crimes like stealing supplies because they weren't getting enough.

Being calloused and lawful isn't in his nature, but the path set out before him demands it - both in terms of mythic power and in leading the fifth crusade. After some recent happenings involving companion quests (To not spoil things and to keep it brief, Regill's first quest, and a part of Sosiel's that involves interrogating a Hellknight), he's having a bit of an existential crisis. Is he the carefree drunken wanderer turned hero? Or is he becoming the heartless authority he despises?

(Bonus art of Caedrinn's reflection I wasn't sure I was gonna post but since it's relevant here ya go!)

Thank you for the asks!!! these were very fun to think about!!

If you want to throw more OC asks at me here ya go!

#not art #oc asks #ask game #daisy rambles #ocs: tiarnan #ocs: draper #ocs: wrath!caedrinn #wrath of the righteous #pathfinder wrath of the righteous #pathfinder wotr #wotr commander #wrath of the righteous spoilers #wrath of the righteous aeon #pwotr

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knackfandomarchive · 9 months ago

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could i ask for some lucas headcanons bc all of the ones you've posted so far are really cute lmao (he is my son)

Oh Bestie, you sweet-talker, you!

Umm... I'm so sorry; I had already talked about most of these before; I don't have much and only have like 15k words of prose across all my documents. I'm bringing these ideas up again mainly for context and in case some readers haven't seen them yet. This is sort of like an overview for the first segment of my story, and also some brief character analyses of certain scenes. I'm also not sure what would spoil my story or not.

I forgot how English works (and it's my only language).

Also this is depressing AF... I tried to put all the doom and gloom into this first part, so if anyone reading this wants to skip to the part that says, "I avoid giving Lucas any diagnosis..." then be my guest. It's. Half the post, tho.

And I'll post the art separately tomorrow, so people won't have to read the depressing stuff to see it.

With that, I can shakily point to a few foundational scenes I over-analyzed. Especially this one:

Where to start...

As we may recall in the first game, the Doctor complains to Ryder that it was easier to take care of Lucas when he was younger, and, "now he wants to know How and Why and debate everything. It's really quite trying at times."

This just sounds like puberty to me. Dad agreed; the Doctor probably received Lucas at a young, easy-to-please age and got used to that lifestyle. But as Lucas grew older, taking more independence, and forming his own opinions - normal development stuff - this resulted in conflict - the form of which I'm still unsure of.

So, I have Lucas lose his mom around eight years old. It's that vulnerable spot where he's old enough to remember her well, and young enough that he has little in the way of coping mechanisms. And while puberty is right around the corner, it gives the Doctor some time to know him before then.

Another thing to add, my Dad mentioned something Lucas said while reaching for his locket:

We're taking a literal approach to this. Not only is this device the last thing he has left of his mother, it's also the only thing he has left of his old life; all of his belongings had been destroyed or lost. We discussed possible causes, and I prefer something horrible and yet mundane. Not super newsworthy outside of his hometown. A fire, maybe?

Lucas needed a new home. And his father was never mentioned, which could mean anything (I haven't gotten around to that). In any case, they were not in the picture by this time. Next of kin would be Ryder or other family members.

We can recall Ryder in a later scene asking if Lucas wonders why the Doctor takes care of him, rather than Ryder doing so. Ryder explains his own unavailability as being very busy. I take this to mean two-fold: he was the only alternative when it came to raising Lucas, and it wasn't due to his capability to parent. So, if Lucas had other blood relatives, they never stepped up. Naturally, this results in Lucas feeling unwanted.

So many characters I need to get right... Lucas lost his mom, and Ryder lost his sister. Ryder may have thought himself and his life situation too unstable. Like he couldn't afford the responsibility on top of the grief and whatever else he had going on. Lucas stays with him for only as long as it takes to arrange a plan with the Doctor. I think Ryder might have some mental troubles of his own that would make raising a child difficult. But the Doctor isn't much better on that front.

Doctor Vargas seems to have had a lingering emotional wound since Charlotte disappeared, and based on vibes was likely a lonely, somewhat reserved man. But his living situation is the most stable, and he has kept it together for so long. And if he ever imagined having children, this would fill that need. So the arrangement - as my Dad suggested, and as I will have Ryder suggest - is a two birds, one stone kind of deal. The hope is that Doc and Lucas would help each other get better, and not worse.

Lucas is taken to the Doctor's Mansion, where Ryder will say goodbye. I have Ryder keep a stoic demeanor; he's trying to stay strong for Lucas. Even holding his breath to keep it from shuddering when they hug. But Lucas really could have benefitted from a more vulnerable moment with him, instead. Ryder is the one who gives Lucas the locket as a parting gift. Lucas begs him not to go, but Ryder can only say he's sorry.

I don't know the boy's educational situation exactly, but after that, his grades drop, he becomes more withdrawn, and his friends, if he has any, don't know how to help him. What are the chances they're mainly fair-weather friends, who go play with someone else when Lucas starts being a bummer? At least I haven't invented bullies to harass him on top of this. Actually, there's a chance that Lucas would be the bully, but I haven't decided.

Have I mentioned Lucas crying at night? He can just about gloomily keep it together during the day, but at night, when he's alone with his thoughts, he falls apart, and his crying soon wakes up the Doctor. Losing his mother and then feeling abandoned by his uncle and other relatives, it's a major blow to the self-esteem. And when his whole world is turned upside down in one fell swoop, it leaves him with a peculiar feeling.

Here is where I point out the next aspect:

Right here, this could have been the end of Lucas. And the Doctor can only watch him go. If I look at it from a more thematic view, Lucas's loss is so devastating to him that he'll clutch the memory of his mother and what he had before she died, at the expense of living himself.

So we have a semi-suicidal eight-year-old living with an older scientist and anyone else who lives in the same building. Scientists and their families from all over the world! I still don't know how the Doctor is going to take care of him. Lucas when he's older is grateful to the Doctor for taking him in, but doesn't seem to me to think of him as a father figure (but perhaps I just forgot something). And my grasp on the Doctor's character is extremely flimsy, despite him virtually being the protagonist of the first game.

I'm not sure how familiar Lucas is with Doctor Vargas. The boy's mom was a colleague, and Ryder trusts the Doctor a great deal, so at least they're not strangers. But Little Lucas might not have paid much attention to the Doctor. Maybe they played peek-a-boo a time or two. I can imagine a dark-haired toddler running under tables at company picnics or something. Doc might have showed him a couple neat gadgets or gifted him some. I dunno yet. What could be the KNACK-equivalent of a Game Boy?

During Lucas's crying spells, I kind of have the Doctor treat him like he's physically sick. Hold him while he cries, put a hand on his shoulder while he throws up, that sort of thing. Uhh, soup - in a big ol' thermos. Gotta stay hydrated and replenish those electrolytes.

Lucas crying and the Doctor consoling him is a regular occurrence for maybe a week or two, and the Doctor can't hide his exhaustion well. Still working out the details, but essentially Lucas doesn't really stop crying after that, he's just quieter about it and lies about it and Doctor Vargas doesn't press the issue. But the Doctor does worry. Lucas seems exhausted all the time, and when he's not hunched over and listless, or politely playing along with whatever to satisfy the grown-ups, he's throwing tantrums about the pointlessness of homework and anything else he doesn't want to do. I made that up. Sometimes he does still find joy in some things, and while it's temporary, it gives Doctor Vargas some hope.

The Doctor's thoughts, as they often do, turn to Charlotte, and how he felt after losing her. And what happened on that fateful day.

Lucas has a well-known love of puzzles. Because I want him to. And especially puzzles in video games. And what is science but a series of puzzles?

Before his mother's passing, I imagine Lucas enjoyed school and gained some reputation among his peers for being a nerdy kid and very smart. Naturally this would result in some peers getting close to him to improve their academic metrics or because they have similar interests. Maybe he has an interest in - the foundational stuff a seven-to-eight-year-old learns about - physics. I imagine he found his mommy's work very interesting and would ask her a lot of questions, sometimes rehashing the same ideas again and again (as my sibling did when they were little).

After she's gone, he still loves puzzles, but much like anything else, the experience of playing with them is tinged with regret. At the Doctor's place, I'm sure there are some other children and young folk living there, too, but I don't know how Lucas feels about them. I have to make so many characters...

I think Lucas would piece together some jigsaw puzzles in the lounge areas. And also slurp up much of the hot cocoa during winter time, but I digress.

Hmm. I need him to accumulate a small collection of toys, but I'm not sure yet who gives them to him and when. If he receives them all too soon and from strangers (scientists who find him endearing), he might feel sour about being pitied. At the same time, if he had a lot of toys before the fire, he'll sure miss their absence. Anyway, some things like: a small chess set, from which he'll lose some pieces, sidewalk chalk, a new gaming device with Tetris and a few other games on it, jump rope, a skateboard (actually a longboard), a Rubik's Cube, and some plushies. I want him to get the device and a plushy or two fairly quickly.

He mainly plays with the gaming device, and while it fills time and is entertaining, it does not fill the void. Still, the Doctor taps his shoulder one day.

"So. I heard you like puzzles?" Said more like a statement than a question.

Lucas doesn't fully understand the situation at first, on the order of a few hours or a day or so, when the Doctor shows him the orb. Doc tries to have a heart-to-heart moment with Lucas, but what the Doctor *says* reads like Chekhov's plasma cannon and I don't have the 'payoff' for that lined up, so I might change it.

But once it clicks for Lucas, it's like a switch is flipped. He smiles more and starts getting genuinely excited about things again. It helps that I had a pipe-dream of making Knack's puzzle a mini-game, so Lucas finds it fun. I'll want to add more to it, probably, depending on how I interpret Knack. I also have a headcanon that Knack's orb resembles a plasma globe in some tactile characteristic; Lucas likes to touch or hold it at every opportunity because it vaguely feels like something is going on in there. It's just so cool! The Doctor may or may not appreciate the novelty.

So it's like, Knack provides Lucas an opportunity to climb to his feet again. More indirectly than the screenshot, though.

I apparently got someone's game-play video confused for a trailer, and misinterpreted the YouTuber's voice as Lucas's voice, so one version of this post mentioned Knack having an incidental role of 'guardian' to Lucas. I still might want to play with that, though.

Anyway, if you're curious as to why Lucas finds the orb so much more satisfying than other puzzles, it's because of the angst. I had initially intended for Lucas to work on the project as something to distract him, much like any other puzzle, give him something to look forward to, and help him bond with Doctor Vargas. The Doctor himself hopes it can help the both of them move on from their losses, and hopes it can help him teach Lucas a thing or two.

But, somehow surprising even to me, Lucas seems to have taken it upon himself to solve this particular puzzle as a measure of value. If he can play a big part in solving it, and contribute to a grown-up scientific achievement, then he's worth all the trouble, right? Then he'll actually amount to something and be worth loving.

... I'm not sure what to say next except that I want to bonk him on the head with a paper towel roll and tell him he's being silly. And then give him a big hug.

At least he lets himself be happy again. In fact, his educational situation might flip from being too aloof to being too distracted. Doodling odd symbols in the margins of his homework and tapping his feet when he should be studying.

He still cries at night sometimes, though. Umm... trying to rack my brain here...

I avoid giving Lucas any diagnosis. Is this a bad idea? Would it be preferred I name his issues, and do research on them?

I kinda just make stuff up.

Okay, switching gears now. This part is more scattered because I don't know how to string the ideas together.

I think I mentioned the Doctor taking Lucas to places like museums and carnivals and aquariums.

Lucas might be prone to jealousy, at least when he is young, and becomes slightly possessive over the orb. This doesn't come up much beyond pressing his lips together, avoiding eye contact, and nursing a bitter feeling when the Doctor improves some experimental hardware without Lucas's prior knowledge. Lucas wonders if the Doctor had continued solving parts without him. Not sure if I should drop it.

Lucas is about ten years old by the time Knack is Manifested. I picked ten years old just 'cause that's about two years of working on the puzzle, enough time to build that machine. I don't want it to take too long or short because the puzzle I'm going with currently makes the Doctor look a bit stupid.

I have Lucas as twelve years old when the first game starts, because that's about middle-school age where the puberty does the things. And about 16 or so in the sequel, trying to balance the moved-out thing with the uncharacteristically immature behavior.

Also because Ava seems about 16 and Dad said that number makes sense for her role as a youth leader, and Ava and Lucas seem like peers. Man, they really flopped on the framing for the scene in this shot! I can hardly see Lucas at all with low brightness. Maybe it's different when you play it yourself.

Dad also told me something that I interpreted to mean most media is really bad at establishing ages. So I'm not sure what to do with that.

Anyway, ten years old.

I'm still not sure how, after the excitement of success subsides, Lucas will initially react to the creature made of stone. His reaction will probably depend on his background. Early drafts have him fed fairy tales that paint goblins unfavorably. And since the creature resembles a goblin in some aspects, Lucas freaks himself out or intimidates the little guy. But these drafts felt silly or off, because the creature is all smiles when he wakes up, and we know he's friendly. Also the Doctor just stands there. So I'll come up with something else, probably.

Regarding Knack's relationship with Lucas: When I see other people describe their relationship as sibling-like (a headcanon), they tend to position Knack as the elder. I may need to double-check; the fandom is pretty small and I haven't read much of the fanfictions. Another headcanon I saw a couple times is that Knack had been alive/conscious a long, long time ago.

But recently someone told me they interpret Lucas as the elder!

My interpretation is that Lucas steps up to that particular plate, first.

My idea goes: before anyone knows for sure that Knack's creature type also includes being a person, Lucas treats him a bit like a toddler and a pet, himself acting as the older brother and sorta babysitter. Still trying to decide if Knack knows he is a person at this stage... It seems like in both games, Lucas tends to talk to him like he's giving him a tutorial.

So I gotta figure out how the Doctor, Lucas, and some other folks turn a sweet little bean into the Knack we all know and love. And how Knack and the Doctor etc, do the same with Lucas.

Lucas is so silly!

I know you saw the one about the first night, Bestie [D;? but I'm not sure how to explain it concisely here. A lot of these I feel would be best shown in a comic series.

There is very much a theme of reciprocation in my story. That might be the wrong word. I'm thinking of familial affection. Lucas just doesn't get enough, and so, doing unto others as he would want to be treated, offers attention to Knack. What to list as examples... Reading him stories, nuzzling, very simple dancing. Probably more but I am my brain is made of Swiss cheese.

I did mention Knack being a sleepy baby on here at first, but I don't think I mentioned that Lucas worries if he's dying or something. It's like if you brought home a baby creature, but had no idea what it eats or needs to live, and then it acts groggier and less responsive, and can barely hold its head up... The Doctor kind of scoffs and says it's highly unlikely (not in a mean way), possibly thinking of Knack more like a device. But even if the Doctor is confident, Lucas isn't convinced. And Baby Knack doesn't know how to ask for what he needs, so he kind of furrows his brow and squints and makes little grumbling noises and like. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like he kneads invisible dough or something? And he frequently glances up at Lucas or the Doctor.

Lucas tries really hard to not-cry and seem reasonable, but he can't help reaching out to pet the little guy's head. The creature responds very favorably, still sleepy. Leading Lucas to bring him into a hug, possibly picking him up. The creature is soothed by this, and after wrapping his arms around Lucas, he promptly falls asleep. Or something idk. Everything is a work in progress.

Knack occupies a weird role at first, and even later on occasion: something sort of like a pet, but not quite. Lucas is primarily the one who initiates the interactions like that, but sometimes the Doctor does as well. Knack himself does not understand until later.

I know it's silly to have Lucas pet him. He's basically a rock, even if he reminds me of a teddy bear sometimes. But look at that face! Lucas can feel warm and fuzzy just knowing that his little puzzle buddy likes him.

I also have Lucas very interested in Knack as a person, like how he's feeling and what he thinks. I think it would be funny if he gets good at reading Knack's body language, but not so good at interpreting his words sometimes. I'm kind of throwing out that scene in 2 where Knack gives Lucas an odd look for presuming what he's thinking and framing it as a 'talk'; if Lucas paid any attention to Knack, he would have done something like that a long time ago. And so I have him *do*: Early on, Lucas talks to the Doctor for Knack, like an untrained interpreter. And sometimes even airs his own grievances as if Knack is 'saying' so.

I mean, I *guess* I could have Lucas be oblivious to Knack's emotional situation unless it suits him, but then like. I dunno. That doesn't fit the little guy I made up so far. What feels more like Lucas?

Lucas sometimes imitates Knack's mannerisms and vice versa. Also expect recycled dialogue. I think Lucas vicariously experiences some adventure through Knack.

I still think Lucas gets swole by playing with Knack all the time.

Later, Knack and Lucas switch big-brother-little-brother roles based on the scene.

(I got this screenie from MoeePlays. The rest of the unwatermarked ones are from FullPlaythroughs.)

You may also see Knack playing the big-brother role while being Little Knack, if I can communicate that well enough. I think it's interesting. And the reverse.

Dad compared the way I describe Knack to Lennie Smalls in "Of Mice and Men", and suggested Lucas could be made somewhat like George. I must say, I hadn't read that story before then. So that was a wild ride! Now George, he's kind of prickly, which Lucas seems to be in the second game, but I'm a little hesitant. Dad also mentioned something about George's dream, and maybe Lucas could have something like that. I think I know what he means, and it's probably a reason I feel stuck in the 'ending' I had written; the dream feels impossible.

Jumping around again; if you were to talk to Lucas about Knack, and Knack was nowhere to be seen, Lucas would probably think of him as Little Knack. I looked too far into Lucas calling Knack "little buddy" at the start, and couldn't remember if Lucas called him something different later. I also interpreted this to mean Knack often hangs out with Lucas as Little Knack, which is supported by a brief shot or two in 1, and the title screen of 2.

Lucas considers Knack to be his achievement on some level. In fact, I consider this to be what he was alluding to in the museum in 2; that "without me, the Doctor would never have known-" how to bring Knack to life. I can imagine a young Lucas, when people are told that the Doctor had solved the puzzle and created Knack, saying quietly or thinking to himself, "*I* made this."

He goes back on that idea later. For Reasons. I might change that also, though. Then again, if I change the story every time I get caught and scraped up in a prickly patch, I wouldn't have much of a story anymore. I wouldn't necessarily say Lucas is naive. He's pretty smart and can sometimes pick up on things, but he can be willfully ignorant. If that doesn't make sense out of context, don't worry.

Changing the subject, Lucas kick-starts Knack's mischievous streak. He kind of teases him? Best example is the GIF I wanted to make but turned into a slideshow. In the garden, Lucas growls in jest at a Little Baby Knack, who reacts ferociously and growls back with rough red lettering, lifting his paws a bit and shifting his weight from foot to foot. Lucas laughs, delighted, and Baby Knack's expression shifts a little into amusement, before the GIF loops and they return to growling.

To clarify, Knack is playing, here. Although it does take him a few moments of fleeing and fawning to realize Oh, you're threatening me as a joke. Two can play at that game! Eventually, Lucas feels that Knack is acting too aggressive for his comfort, and, failing to notice that Knack is mirroring his own body language, worries he'll get a good punch to the gut. Or worse. He tries to de-escalate with the offer of a hug, which allows Baby Knack to play a mean prank.

And at one point I want Lucas to try smuggling Knack to school for the express purpose of scaring the crap out of Lucas's peers. For fun!

Another thing about how I wrote Lucas is that, when he is younger, at least, he isn't all that shy with Knack after like a day or so. I'm not sure how to say what I mean... It's like, Lucas has a tendency to get excited and touch, lightly pull, or grab Knack's arm(s), to get his attention, turn him around, or drag him somewhere. It's also a means of affection. He's gentle about it, but still. He isn't usually so grabby with other kids.

One of the things I considered playing with Knack is whether he might bite a family member when he is a 'baby'. But the more I think about it, the more the answer resounds no, he wouldn't. In one scene I wrote, Knack makes a non-lingual, idle threat (growling at him), but Lucas calls his bluff and takes something from him anyway. Lucas actually scoffs at him, incredulous.

Do not look to Lucas for guidance on how to treat children, animals, or operate heavy machinery.

Umm, what else. I bet Lucas would pass out if someone strokes his hair. First thing that comes to mind is Charlotte experimentally trying motherly things, feeling awkward about it and stopping. Lucas murmers something like, "You can keep going :)" Realizes what he just said, "I mean, if *you* want to," and scratches the back of his neck and looks away.

Along with a grappling hook (or maybe the Doctor gave him that), Ryder gives Lucas a butterfly knife for his twelfth birthday. This sounds very familiar to me, so either I thought about it before, it's practically canon, or someone else had mentioned it and I just can't remember. Or it could be a regular pocket knife.

At some point, to someone else, I have Doc describe Lucas as becoming more responsible since Knack came into his life. But of course, since the Doctor can never let Lucas have anything, he amends it with, "at times."

I also have this screenshot:

What was I going to put down for it...?

I remember seeing a review where someone mentioned this scene, gave an extremely reductive summary of it, and they thought "It plays out like a parody of kids movie/game “you-can-do-itism” but it’s not parodying anything in particular." I was rather miffed about that, to say the least; I thought this scene was a major characterization moment.

Lucas is curious/a scientist.

Knack puts so much faith in the Doctor that he limits himself. He also comes off like a major teacher's pet with his quoting ability.

The Doctor thinks himself so smart like he knows everything without testing it thoroughly. To the point where he has told Knack that he is incapable of something.

Lucas encourages Knack to try new things.

Not sure how to put this, but it comes up again in the Key Confrontation. Could be related to 4. Lucas is skeptical of the Doctor's authority and offers an opposing viewpoint. He prompts Knack to stop viewing the Doctor's words as gospel, at least temporarily. This is why I want Lucas and the Doctor to be/become foils in my story. Lucas sees himself in Knack.

Knack believes in the Doctor, sure. But he also trusts and believes in Lucas.

And one last thing, because I can't escape upsetting topics: there may be some parental favoritism going on between the Doctor and the boys. I loathe the idea, but it slots into my current framework with unfortunate agreement. I had a conversation with Dad about it, and he said, uhh trying to remember... it's a reasonable idea. He spoke of Lucas coming into his own and how it challenges the Doctor's ego, meanwhile Knack does whatever the Doctor says without question.

I don't think Lucas would resent or blame the Doctor's Greatest Creation, but it would impact his self-esteem. I don't know what that looks like yet.

Umm, I hope this was worth the wait; I had a lot of fun! I want to add more but I'm kind of scatter-brained. Also this is 4.6k words apparently.

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maleficore · 1 year ago

Note

1, 7 and 11 for the durge ask thingy :^〕

I went a bit off with these ones nonnie, I'm so sorry... But you asked for it! So here it is

1. What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

The sorcerer part is easy -- a gift from dad. Since he’s an invoker (I modded the Divine Soul subclass into the game, but there’s genuinely dialogue that implies that Durge’s sorcery is of divine origin so…) there’s not much more to it than that, that part of his power comes straight from his heritage. As for Paladin though… it’s a bit of a story. I imagine he started out as an Oath of Devotion (or if I had the entire 5e roster to choose from, Redemption maybe? Since that would hit close to home for him) paladin in a loose service of The Triad when he was young, but that oath did not last long. He was barely 21 or so when Bhaal decided he’s had enough of that whole “I’m better than the whispers of slaughter carried by my blood” charade, and forced his hand by unleashing the Slayer upon Ezra’s paladin order. That itself did not break the oath since he had no choice in the matter, but coming to his senses and finding everyone he knew so shredded their state could barely be classified as solid anymore, stripped Ezra of all the hope and lead him to break the oath by swearing allegiance to Bhaal and eventually becoming High Primate of his temple. He had no reason not to become an Oathbreaker at that point (“Sure, why not. What more damage could some more dark power shoved up my ass do, might as well start a collection” essentially) and he’s been one ever since. He doesn’t remember it of course so he doesn’t really seek to reclaim the oath he lost over a 100 years ago and it’s not like he really believes in the tenets anyway, not anymore. Oathbreaker suits him just fine.

7. Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options?

He did eat the Noblestalk and I switched some stuff around to have that be the trigger for the memory of murdering his foster parents. He did not like that much obviously, but the memory was so brief and there was so much other shit going on he really did not have the brainpower to dwell or process it properly. However! I like the idea of his memories, especially the really deeply buried pre-Bhaal ones, being more triggerable than they are in the game. Those show up for Ezra a few times once the party arrives in Baldur’s Gate and are mostly tied to the ilmatari temple. I’m not gonna go much into detail about what they are because I’m still ironing that out and don’t wanna spoil the eventual fic, but those are the pleasant ones. They both deliver the painful truth -- “Was I sweet once?” No, you were not, but that’s okay – and the balm to soothe the burn in the form of there being people who cared about him anyways. It’s something he needs a lot at that point in the story and is very grateful to remember.

11. What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

I don’t really follow a straight embrace/resist path with Ezra just as I don’t separate him into different people before and after the tadpole. He’s the same person who fucked corpses and ate babies, the person who crowned an elderbrain and stood by a megalomaniac tyrant’s side knowing full well that the man’s climb to power will be paved with corpses. Lobotomy did not suddenly make him a good person. He’s still selfish, he’d still rather result to cruelty if it’s the easiest option, he enjoys the rush of ecstasy that makes his breath tremble when he’s nearly elbow deep in someone’s chest cavity... But he does not remember being stripped of the hope that he can be more than that, if that makes sense? When he resists the Urge it’s not because he would not enjoy breaking a paralysed girl’s legs like twigs or smile feeling the energy in the air shift as a child breathes her last laying on cold stone floor, he knows he would love it. But what does that make him? A monster, nothing more. And maybe that’s what he is, a wretched thing, but there are these people around him now, that look at him much different than he sees himself and he likes that even more than he enjoys wrecking mindless carnage. There’s no Gortash (who he might not remember, but the echo is still there) who saw him as a person even at his worst, he doesn’t know how they’d react to seeing what he really is so he does not let them. If they were not present, he probably would not bother to deny himself. The same way if explicitly given permission or encouraged to, he will a 100% go wild. Stuff like Astarion telling him to nibble on goblin toes or Shadowheart encouraging him to take over for lousy torturers will have Ezra hold his breath in excitement and comply most eagerly. But while he does not give a flying fuck about hurting strangers, because of them seemingly genuinely caring about him in their own ways, he really does not want to hurt any of the companions no matter what the Urge whispers in his ear. They’re the only people that are off limits.

Still, there’s someone that dies during the events of Ezra’s post-tadpole story that while not a death he himself caused, consciously or otherwise, is very much something that he could’ve prevented and so its weight gets put on his shoulders to bear anyway. That causes a bit of a shift in him, the guilt makes him go from resisting the Urge because he wants to conceal it to resisting it because he’s had enough and is tired of being defined by it. He even starts going a bit out of his way to save people when in the past he would’ve just left them to die because he realises that every death he does not prevent might as well be intentional, just because of the nature of who he is. Does that mean he stands up to Bhaal as a true resist Durge would? Fuck no. Selfish, remember? And scared. By the time he reaches Bhaal’s altar he’s seen what happens to the souls he claims, they are bound forever into his servitude as echoes of themselves. That’s something Ezra can’t bring himself to accept, just as he can’t bring himself to let Bhaal kill him and leave all his friends behind while there’s still an elderbrain they’re bound to fight. He’ll die, he’ll have to if he wants to be free, but that requires it to be on his own terms. Not upon Bhaal’s damn altar in his godsdamned temple, you know? So the Urge he might resist, but he doesn't have as much of a drive and courage to outright deny his heritage, no matter the consequence. Not until the end.

#bg3 #durge ask game #durge spoilers #the dark urge #bg3:ezra

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brainrattlers · 1 year ago

Text

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (43/n)

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC (AJ)

Word Count: 2860

Warnings: A little bit of angst, but nothing bad, I promise. Probably language.

Need to start from the beginning? Here's where it all began! https://at.tumblr.com/brainrattlers/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-1n/p7no8u1hzuza

Want to catch up? Check out the Masterlist!

Author's Notes: I. Am. BACK!!! Short chapter, struggling a bit to find words, but I figured I'd get something posted, and then add some of the stuff brewing in the next few weeks than rush it all at once. It's been a wild few months, looking for a new job (I'm still employed, just looking to upgrade), but also adding a bunch of side gigs to my list of things I shouldn't be doing but here I am.

So what's going on with Tyson and AJ? Summer vacation has started, and these two have a few months to do whatever they want. Let the planning begin!

*****

While the season didn’t end quite as hoped by the Sabres, Tyson remained optimistic about things to come. His end-of-season exit interview went well, according to him, saying he wanted to be back with the team. Locker cleanout days are always a little emotional, but Tyson was in good spirits, all things considered.

AJ was trying to keep the same level of optimism, but her gut kept her guarded, knowing that a lot of what was to come was actually hinging on a few other players on the team. If Okie and Girgensons stay put, there was a good chance that there wouldn’t be a spot for Tyson. Not only that, but of course Tyson becomes a restricted free agent July 1st. And as is, Okie was signed to a single year contract. It now was falling on the fate of Girgensons.

So really, it was a game of “hurry up and wait.” AJ was starting to feel like that might just be how life was going to be from here on out with Tyson until a team realizes how much of a gem Tyson is. Granted, AJ is a little biased in her description of Tyson’s style of play and how much teams really could use a player like him…

“You know, we can go do whatever we want, right?” Tyson jostled AJ’s foot on his lap, noticing she was scrolling aimlessly on her phone. “I have some friends up in BC asking me to come out. You want to go on vacation? Grandma and Grandpa would love to see you again…”

“... really? Using Emily and Jim as bait to get me to up north? You play dirty, Tys.”

Tyson grinned, knowing AJ had a soft spot for his grandparents. She had lost hers years prior, and missed the grandparent vibe. You know the one, where you get spoiled, either with a favorite meal, or a $10 bill slid into your hand when mom wasn’t looking. It really isn’t even about the getting spoiled part either, there is something so special hearing all the stories from their past, learning bits and pieces about what made them the people they are today. It truly was something she missed with her own grandmothers since their passing. Emily and Jim definitely brought that vibe to her, and embraced her as their own grandchild.

AJ thought about it though, and Tyson could see the gears turning in her head. He waited patiently for her to say something more, because an idea was definitely brewing.

“What would you think about some summer shenanigans?” AJ squinted at Tyson, gauging his response to the vague proposition.

“What kind of shenanigans?”

To be honest, AJ was missing some of her old friends. The world can feel so small with the internet, bringing people together digitally, but it’s just not the same as in person. AJ missed seeing Jess. It’d been months since they were in the same space, meeting up back in February in St. Louis. She missed Nate. She missed some of the other friends she made in Denver during her brief time there.

“I was thinking maybe talking to Jess, and as soon as she could, maybe a couples’ trip with her and Nate? Like maybe they come up here, or we go out there, or… we meet up somewhere? I’m not sure yet. I hadn’t really asked her either, but I know she’d be down. The only hindrance at the moment is…” AJ got quiet, realizing what she was going to have to say, “Nate’s still in the playoffs.”

AJ cringed at having to say that, considering how last season went. Thankfully, Tyson’s work on himself last summer and this year with family and a sports psychologist really helped his mental game. He nodded in understanding, and didn’t even flinch. Buffalo made a good run at the playoffs, but just came up short. It was going to whole new level for the team next season, so right now, his feelings were not hurt by the statement.

This time, it was Tyson that got a little quiet, chewing on his lip for a minute before responding.

“I’m sorry I hadn’t brought it up sooner, but a few of the guys are talking about heading down to Hilton Head, kind of an end of season guys trip,” Tyson sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, “We’d be leaving Monday.”

“It’s okay, you know I’ve got plenty going on here, besides, it’s not like my plan can happen quite yet anyway. But would you be interested, if they are?”

A smile broke out on Tyson’s face, followed by a nod. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to AJ’s temple.

“Yeah, that sounds like a blast. You’re the best babe!”

AJ chuckled as Tyson skipped off to the bedroom. Looking around the living room, kind of lost in thought, she grabbed her phone.

AJ: Would you and Nate be up for some shenanigans this summer?

Not even a minute had passed before AJ’s phone was vibrating in her palm.

Jess: We’re in.

***

AJ got used to Tyson being away on roadies, and she always found things she could do that she enjoyed while he was gone. Eating food that he didn’t like (or shouldn’t eat, and likely, she probably shouldn’t eat either), sprawling out in bed, listening exclusively to her music, staying up late and watching cheesy movies… stuff like that. It was nice to have AJ time.

But truth be told, AJ missed Tyson while he was on the guys’ trip. He was checking in multiple times daily (and getting absolutely roasted for it), but it didn’t make up for the little things she was missing, like him wrapping his arms around her midsection as she’d chop vegetables for dinner, swaying to the music they had on in the kitchen. The random notes that would be written in the steam on the bathroom mirror. The way Tyson would pull AJ in as the little spoon, mumbling incoherently as he drifted off to sleep.

Even the kinda gross things, because, let’s face it, Tyson’s a guy, AJ missed. The way Tyson would burp after chugging a protein shake. How he’d stick his stinky sock feet in AJ’s face when they were laying opposite each other on the sofa together. The occasional facial hair clippings littering the sink in the bathroom. (Although that was just more irritating than gross.)

AJ was simply missing Tyson.

After cleaning the kitchen up from breakfast, AJ headed to the hobby room, and flopped on the sofa, where one of Tyson’s hoodies was thrown on. Rolling over, she reached up over her head and grabbed it, spying which one it was. It smelled faintly of his body wash as she inhaled, sighing into it. Although not really cold, AJ put it on and fell asleep in a somewhat warm embrace of his hoodie.

The buzzing of her watch urged AJ to open her eyes as a certain someone was wanting to FaceTime.

A very groggy looking AJ appeared on Tyson’s screen.

“Hey baby girl, I didn’t wake you up, did I? Is… that my hoodie?”

AJ rubbed her eyes and looked down, and back at her phone camera with a smile.

“I suppose it is. I was napping but I really shouldn’t be if I want to get to bed at a decent hour tonight. What are you guys up to today?”

Tyson told the tales of going golfing and hanging out at the beach with the guys. All the different restaurants they stopped at. But there was something a little off about how he was acting, but AJ couldn’t put her finger on it.

Finally when he stopped talking, AJ piped up.

“You good?”

Biting his lip, Tyson put his thoughts in order before opening his mouth.

“I mean, yeah, but, no. It was weird, last night we went clubbing, and the guys were pairing off with girls they met there, and there were two that wouldn’t leave me alone and…”

AJ’s heart was pounding hard, worried about what might be said next.

“... I had to just get out of there, I took a Lyft back to the house. I… just miss you.”

The breath AJ didn’t know she was holding came out in a gasp, and Tyson caught the tear coming down her cheek. It wasn’t her intention to get emotional, but it hit her hard. And seeing AJ tearing up, made him get teary-eyed as well, but he wasn’t sure why she was to begin with.

The dam broke.

“I miss you too babe, so much,” AJ just let the words fall out of her mouth without a filter, “It just hasn’t been the same here without you. You make my world better.”

Tyson was wiping his eyes, trying to act like he wasn’t crying at all when one of the guys came by him asking if he were about ready to head out.

A mumbled, “Yeah, uh, I’ll be just a minute, no, my allergies are acting up or something, I’m good,” was overheard, before he looked back at his phone. “Hey, we’re heading out for another course, call you tonight before bed?”

“Of course. Go kick some ass on the green! Love you.”

“Love you too, talk tonight,” Tyson blew a kiss at his phone.

AJ “caught” it and smooshed it on her lips before ending the call.

Now wide awake from that unexpected conversation, AJ sat up and started thinking about what she could do to fill some time between now and this evening when Tyson would call. There was only so much cleaning she could do around the apartment to ease her racing mind, so she grabbed her tablet and started looking at vacation spots, texting Jess along the way.

AJ: Would you guys like to come up here? I know it isn’t fancy like Denver is, but there is so much cool stuff to see and do here, really!

Jess: Hmm… I’d be down, but I’m thinking we should get away from EVERYTHING. Mexico has been calling my name here lately, I miss it.

AJ: I’ve never been. I’m looking up some places though. Cancun looks fun, and there seemingly is a lot to do around there. Ooh, they have a big art museum nearby, that sounds good. And Chichen-Itza and Tulum aren’t terribly far either.

Jess: You’re forgetting margaritas and all the amazing food!

AJ: Yes, that too! lol

AJ could feel Jess rolling her eyes at the choices of things she wanted to see. That was the funny thing too, if Nate had heard what AJ was saying, she was pretty sure he too would be rolling his eyes in the same way. Those two really are perfect for each other.

As the afternoon and evening went on, texts were sent back and forth about potential places to stay. It was just going to be a game of figuring out WHEN, with Avs in the playoffs, and knowing Tyson, he probably already had a summer packed with things to do. AJ knew that he was planning on heading out to Edmonton, and had mentioned something about maybe working out with some trainers in Vancouver for a bit. Tyson was never one to really stop and relax somewhere for an extended amount of time, other than with his family whenever he could.

The planning texts were interrupted by a facetime with Tyson, who seemed far more chipper than he did previously.

“How was golfing? Your nose looks a little pink, shoulda worn more sunscreen,” AJ joked, knowing he always gave her shit as she was pasty white and burned within minutes in the sun.

“It was good, shot five over, not bad for a course I’d never played on. Yeah I got a bit of sun today. Thankfully we’re heading out tomorrow. You still picking me up from the airport? I get in around noon.”

AJ looked panicked, looking at her watch, then back at her phone screen, seeing Tyson’s face contort into concern.

“You are picking me up, right? I mean, I can get a ride with one of the guys, but…”

The giggles couldn’t be contained, and fell out of AJ’s mouth.

“Of course, goof, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I haven’t seen you in like a week,” she grinned, “Besides, I found a new burger place I want to try, figured we could swing by on the way home.”

A wave of relief washed over Tyson, knowing he was going to get to see AJ as soon as he got out of the airport. AJ then saw Tyson squint a bit, and roll his eyes after his phone buzzed. Quirking her eyebrow, he could tell she was wondering what was going on just by the subtle movement.

“The rest of the guys went back clubbing again tonight. It’s just not as fun, not without you here. I just didn’t want a repeat of last night, it just felt… wrong. In fact, I just got called an old man for turning in early. I’m not going to feel like shit on the plane at least.”

The two chuckled, and continued talking for a bit, until it was evident Tyson really did get a bit of extra sun and he was pretty wore out, getting sleepier with each new topic that was brought up. After a few minutes of being disgustingly cute and sending kisses to each other, they finally ended the call.

Tyson laid in bed, still feeling awkward about the previous night, despite nothing actually happening. It did occur to him just how much he and AJ complemented each other. Dancing with random women in a bar no longer was exciting. He’d rather dance in the kitchen with AJ. Taking a woman back to his hotel was the furthest thing on his mind, unless that woman was AJ.

“Maybe I really am turning into an old man!” he thought to himself, as a smile crept up on his face as he drifted off to sleep.

AJ woke up late the next morning, relaxing in bed, completely sprawled out, for one last time before Tyson would be back. Spending an hour scrolling through Instagram, she finally got up, got a shower, and a quick breakfast before grabbing a small baggie from one of the cabinets in the kitchen and heading out the door. AJ and her black Soul hit the road, heading to the airport.

Once the car was parked, AJ headed inside, outside of the security area. Looking around, AJ saw her target… and it wasn’t Tyson. With a smile and a wave, she headed over to Karma, whose ears perked up when Ann waved back, asking if Karma knew who was coming.

“Hey Karma, who is a good girl? IT IS YOU!!!” AJ scratched Karma’s ears before giving her a treat from the bag. “Hey Ann, how is it going today?”

So who are Karma and Ann, you might ask? Karma is an adorable, frosty-faced Jack Russell Terrier/Beagle mix, and Ann is her owner. Together, they patrol the Buffalo Niagara International Airport as a therapy dog team. Most dogs you see in airports have patches on their harnesses saying “SERVICE DOG, DO NOT PET”... but Karma has a bandana on that says “PLEASE PET ME!” AJ met them earlier in the year during one of her trips to see Tyson on the road, and had since become friends with the human/canine duo. Ann always asked how Tyson was playing, and Karma always was up for a belly rub as the two would chat. Today, Ann was in for a treat, she’d never actually got to meet a professional athlete despite all her time at the airport.

Finally, coming out of the secure area, Tyson spied AJ sitting on the bench petting a dog.

"AJ found the only pettable dog in the whole place, that's so her!" Tyson thought to himself, smiling the whole way to her.

Putting his bag down, Tyson found AJ already clinging her arms around him for a tight hug.

“Hey Tys, this is Ann, and…”

Before she could even say anything else, Tyson was already leaning down petting Karma’s head.

“This must be Karma, I’ve heard so much about you already from AJ!” Tyson leaned up and shook Ann’s hand, “And you too, it’s nice to meet you!”

Ann was usually chatty as all get out, but she was in awe of the Buffalo Sabres player standing before her. Finally breaking her out of the spell, Ann finally was back to telling stories and giving advice on where to go get dinner for the night. After gabbing for a few more minutes, and a few more treats for Karma, AJ finally convinced Ann that there were probably more passengers and airport/airline staff that could use some Karma pets and kisses. Everyone parted ways, with AJ promising she’d be back soon to see them again.

Walking hand in hand to the parking lot, AJ posed a question to Tyson.

“So what would you think about going to Mexico?”

The gears were already turning in Tyson’s head.

#josty #play it cool #tyson jost #tyson jost x ofc #tysontuesday #buffalo sabres #colorado avalanche

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