#i create bc of autistic hyperfixations - the people that like my stuff - and out of spite <3 i cannot be stopped

[leonenjoyer69]

Goopy and non goopy version bc idk which I like more, BUT!!!! THEY GUY!!! HARRY!! HE GOT CONTROL :3 also the "I am me" is a Chonny Jash reference (from the soul eclectic, bc as I've mentioned I draw a good few things from Soul for him)

Ngl I kinda,,, don't really like coloring, especially shading, least favorite part of the art process, but I kinda ate this up, especially once I started throwing in the gradients 🗣️🗣️ still took me forever tho lmao, I hate color theory.

(Also, tysm @lesbianturrets for hyping me up about the pose, you're so cool, ily 🫵🫵🫵)

Anyways!! Other version below the cut, along with a bit of lore drop

So yeah, he gains control while barricaded in his office, after Jekyll mixes the wrong salts into a single vial he was able to find. Harry freaks tf out upon gaining control, though he doesn't have much time to as Lanyon breaks into the office and such. Of course the first thing Lanyon questions is the HUGE mess and the fact that Jekyll looks different, to which Harry says it was from a potion falling on him, which is quite believable in this situation. They talk and Harry eventually leaves the office to go fix everything, giving Frankenstein a sort of "I'll explain later" look. Well, he does seem to successfully fix everything, albeit a bit suspiciously, but he does it!

Anyways, I need to lore dump more on him on an actual text post later, bc I've got a lot of things I've cooked up while talking with @dustmint >:3 that'll come later tho bc I've gotta figure out how I wanna format/write all that

(Edit, very sick of my tumblr screwing up the composition of my posts 😍😍 why do you keep getting rid of my cuts and scattering my images I'm gonna lose it)

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Idk if you answered this already, but is it ok to be self diagnosed as autistic? Bc, I saw sm stuff saying autism runs in blood, and my dad is (in a not rude way 😅) kinda childish, and shows signs, all three of my brothers are autistic, and my mom admitted she probably is. I've noticed that I stim a little, I tend to create fake scenarios (and sometimes act them out), and I do and say stupid things without thinking. I come off as rude sometimes, and I also ramble on and on and have things and fandoms what I focus on on. Like, I really like The Outsiders, and I talk about the book and movie a lot, even to people who don't know what it is. I love music too. And ik the hyperfixations also have to do with ADHD too (which I have also self diagnosed 😅). I bounce my leg, and like...I rub my fingers together bc it makes a calming sound. I zone out a lot too....you know... I think I js need reassurance

Hi there,

I think that with the right research, it’s okay to self diagnose. But there’s always a chance of overlooking symptoms or misdiagnosis. Personally, I would still try to seek out a professional diagnosis in case of the need of accommodations at school/work. But of course you are not obligated to seek one out. Only if you want to.

My main point here is the research is key. Read more about the symptoms and behaviors that can come with the disorder and you write down or make a mental note of what traits/behaviors are similar to yours if you want to keep track or something.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

[notquiteaghost]

congrats on making a public inquiry on a line of interest situated in the middle of a venn diagram of like four things i've been thinking about a lot lately, your prize is this ask that is so long that in the time spent writing it and checking info someone less annoying may have directed you to some of it! this is all like easy enough to google but just in case it feels less uuhh to have someone with an approximate knowledge on some things offer you some pointers: here are some pointers

(i AM ALSO a thousands of CD's type of guy, but i've not done any big digital management of them since the last time i was regularly using ipods in the 2000s, n i am kinda Prepping for big digital management around my current standing main hyperfixation (participants of a season of an old korean idol reality competition show, a collection of Too Many Gotdamn People who have made Too Much Gotdamn Music) but i don't actually currently own a lot of the physical media there, so none of this are pointer from like. oh here is a workflow i am using etc, but)

answers to your two questions are 1) file sizes really depend on lots of factors but rule of thumb is that in a collection of 'normal song' mp3 file size averages out to 5-7MB a song, and a 3-4min mp3 file being >10MB is surprising

and 2) re: storage prices, 1TB (~1,000,000MB, so probably ~166,666MB 3min mp3's) in external harddrive will run at about £50 in western digital brands atm (western digital is what i've been occasionally looking at for my data management thing bc i've seen it mentioned specifically as more reliable than seagate, which i have had issues with; anecdotally, my mum's WD elements has lasted her about a year longer than her seagates kick the bucket). prices atm on curry's stack up at £80 for 2TB, £108 for 4TB, £180 for 8TB

refurbished is an option when it's 'rectified' and sold by the company itself; for WD, those prices atm stack up at £30 for 1TB, £35 for 2TB, £55-60 for 4TB (their page for these are https://www.westerndigital.com/en-gb/products/recertified) (i do not know enough about this area and would wanna look up specific reviews on a company's rectifying track record before purchasing myself, so obv do the same)

answers to questions you DID NOT ask but may have later on if you do set out on the CD Digitization Project that i have answered preemptively bc i am ANNOYING:

tagging music with correct info is often the most time-consuming part of this shit, so a tagger is your friend. the musicbrainz database should have a lot of stuff covered, so their tagger picard might well do (https://picard.musicbrainz.org/, also has some good plugins for like formating multi-disc albums etc if you wanna scan through those), but tagscanner (https://www.xdlab.ru/en/index.htm) can also pull from discogs if needed, though you may still need a discogs account + to make an api key do use that

i was like. spike will probably appreciate it if i provided ways in which their dad could still be autistic about music in a digital format, but i'm having a hard time pulling up music players that meet my vision / make it clear if they do re: you can see cd booklet, and also this info seems to not typically be in databases. i'll carry on looking for players in this area bc i ALSO want this, but suggested desktop windows players other than windows media player / grooveshark / vlc (which are all fine, but imo none are the most intuitive for regular heavy listening) are my best friend foobar2000 (https://www.foobar2000.org/, also has a tagger that pulls from musicbrainz and maybe discogs?), musicbee (https://getmusicbee.com/, tagger plugins available), and aimp (https://www.aimp.ru/); deadbeef (https://deadbeef.sourceforge.io/) is created more to get your hands into with the technical stuff, but it's got custom metadata fields. really after you've looked to see if you think your dad would want a particular feature, unless space is a major consideration then it is just well what looks nicest.

file backup! backblaze (https://www.backblaze.com/) allows an external hard drive to be added in an image backup of a machine, which is the only good way to do a (pseudo-)sync backup without paying for cloud subscription or setting up a NAS etc; at $70/year it is obviously A Cost but way less than premium cloud drive subscription, so if it feels useful to know,

if the NAS mention / video at the end of that post wrt turning an old computer or laptop into a media server (so thing that is plugged into a wall that has files on it + a media player --> other computers / phones / etc on the same network (which can be outside the home too) can connect to that player and files) was interesting lmk bc i've also been looking into that a lot mostly as like, storage nerd aspirations, it's just a whole other thing that's irrelevant if you're more interested in just bunging stuff on an external drive (i've send this as an ask with the intent for you to keep it On File, so sent me another or a dm to lmk!)

you are not at ALL annoying you are a godsend!!!!

the thing abt my father is he is actually better at tech stuff than me (he ran his school's website & also michael's website, in the 00s, when that meant he built them from scratch) (he's still a little bitter abt his school outsourcing their website to whatever service every school uses nowadays. he used to add little falling snowflakes in the winter n april fools jokes n such), so yes i was very much anticipating saying to him like. find a backup storage method you like and i will do the legwork of actually ripping n sorting everything

i did NOT know taggers even existed but holy shit yes i will definitely need one. i do not anticipate him ever actually getting rid of his physical copies – smth he has already done is buy a ton of plastic wallets n move the CDs & booklets into them so instead of ur standard plastic jewel case taking up all that space it's effectively as thin as the actual CD – & also he no longer has a computer (i do not get this decision either. he just uses his phone????) so i doubt he'll need music player software. my thought is really 'he needs backups spare CDs and a CD writer so if any die they can be replaced'

however i will definitely look into the music player software, and maybe also forward this info to my brother (if it's even news to him, he's the kind of music autistic who has a £200 pair of headphones). thank you SO much <3

edit: just saw ur second ask n shdgdhd yeah i am gonna bookmark this post, my askbox is a pit things vanish into forever

[lilyhoshikawa]

🎥🎶💕🏳‍🌈💎 for hunters perhaps? >:3c

Oh golly! Ok fndkfnfn let me do this then. This may be difficult-

🎥: Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

This is hard bc I have a lot of scenes I like and good scenes keep happening dhdjfn.

There are a lot of stand-outs so far. Among them is definitely like, the confrontation in the car between Blake and Sakio, and the recent social link scene with Blake and Lena on the boat.

Scenes that DON’T involve my own character that I adore include. The scene with Sakio and Camellia at the graveyard. The scene with with Lena and Twitch outside the store. The Sammy’s scene where they read Tango’s letter. Also the scene with Sammy and Masumi bc it was just extremely funny.

🎶: If your hyperfixation has songs / an OST, what is your favorite song from it?

Hm. Well time once again to advertise my Blake playlist, which I’m constantly putting a lot of work and thought into tbh dhjddb, I’ve deleted a fair number of songs from it when I feel they don’t fit, and I’m constantly messing with the order of the songs in relation to Blake’s prospective characters arc, and adding more as I find them fndkfnf I’m always on the lookout.

Also, vane is constantly updating the official playlist with some real bangers, and I appreciate that. Amil’s and Twitch’s themes are real good.

💕: Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Everybody has really really good characters, heck. One thing that strikes me is that even with taking the backseat and having to be on autopilot for several sessions, Camellia still has such a strong and distinct personality, to the point where everyone is on the same page abt them, and I think that’s just really amazing dhdjfjf, that’s how strong an impression they make every time they’re around.

Lena is also so good, she’s like… I think abt her frequently. Sometimes I just start giggling when I think abt Lena, bc she is a national treasure, and I hope she knows I care abt her. She’s great in this way that she’s both very funny/cute and also has a lot of depth and nuance to her arc, and I’m so excited for more.

In the same vein, Sammy. No one character has made me go from giggling to sobbing as fast as this green goat. One moment Sammy is making their cat do a little greeting and I’m rolling on the floor from the cuteness, and then the next second they’re crying and saying they don’t want to be left behind, and then I am also crying. How do they do it. The absolute range.

I also really appreciate Ilse like, particularly in contrast to Blake sometimes, in that Ilse is very smart in a way that’s quiet, self-conscious and careful, while Blake is at times recklessly arrogant, and those two bounce off each other well. Ilse feels mature at times but every time they quietly like, try to be the bigger person, or to not make a problem of themselves, I wanna give them a hug and be like “u deserve to be recognized and acknowledged and u deserve better” dhdjdndjdn. When u have big personalities like Sakio and Lena and Blake in the party there’s something compelling abt Ilse being with them and not asserting themselves as they try to do their best, if that makes sense, and I want them to know I see and appreciate them.

Sakio is also so good and I’ve talked abt this to vane plenty before but holy shit. There’s so much obvious care and love and effort and skill that went into writing a character who is both wrong in many ways, and who many player characters antagonize for good reason, and yet still so incredibly sympathetic, so likable and so compelling. The fact that both Blake and Lena have this relationship with Sakio where they don’t like or trust her, necessarily, but also can’t deal with her not being there, is so fucking good, it creates such powerful conflict in the smallest of ways. Sakio is great bc I love her and I understand her and I appreciate her, but I also wanna yell at her and think she is absolutely horribly wrong about incredibly crucial things and u can FEEL that turmoil in her as well, with her knowing on some level that her actions are going to cause harm, and she’s just waiting and hoping to take the fall, thinking, maybe foolishly, that she can, and that doing so will save everyone else.

I also fucking love so many minor characters we haven’t seen much of so far. I absolutely love Bee and I’ve told vane abt this but she’s just a total icon. Theo is also great, he is the only valid he/him in the entire campaign djdkfj. I love Twitch as well and I’m very excited for some of the interesting stuff in Twitch’s arc that has been hinted at coming to fruition later on, that’s very exciting. I’m also very excited to learn more abt Amil’s whole deal, I appreciate them a lot and I feel bad every time I have to make Blake come pester them fndkfnf. Oh also Prim, how did I forget Prim… what’s going on with her, I have no idea, but she’s a mean lady and my love for mean ladies is well-documented. Also her look is iconic. Also also Puck, the fact that he’s a child and I didn’t know it for several months shocked me to my core but it has made his brand of Shakespearean mischief that much more endearing, and now I seek only to give him snacks and let him sit in his funny garbage throne. I forgot abt Puck earlier so I’ll say he is the second valid he/him in the campaign but frankly I think Puck should take some neopronouns for a spin, he deserves it.

🏳️‍🌈: Do you have any headcanons (LGBT, race, neuro, etc.) that are important to you?

(*throws neurological disorders at Blake*) jdkdnfkf no but jokes aside. I love that this party is like, 5 player characters, 4 of whom use they/them. Just. The raw power of a persona series written by LGBT+ ppl…

I can’t speak on other ppl’s characters too much but as for Blake, they’re a closeted transfem and also too much of a disaster for a coherent sexuality but probably bi. Autistic, and an abuse survivor who experiences paranoid delusions and self-destructive tendencies. Probably more, but specifics are messy, they’re a fucking mess, what’s going on with them, they don’t even know.

Masumi is a binary trans lesbian, also an abuse survivor and manages quite a bit of paranoia of her own, dealing with mood swings and occasional delusions of grandeur, most of it she keeps internally managed which isn’t great for her mental health.

💎: Are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

Blake’s original characterization was thought up prior to the campaign and was very different from their finished characterization. They lived on a farm with their parents and were pretty quiet and passive before being arrested for a murder they didn’t commit (this part is the same) and their personality was way more quiet, reserved and passive, with the whole celebrity aspect completely absent. They were still going to be the sort of clever leader type character but leaned far more into the background. Their design was also different, with their hair in a low ponytail rather than high and scars on their face from scrapes and accidents working on the farm.

I realized that, even though this character was more of an original idea than Masumi (who I was playing in another campaign at the time and who was characterized somewhat differently as well) I didn’t find myself excited to write them, couldn’t get invested in them in the same way, and as I kept workshopping them I decided to be more self-indulgent and lean more into shamelessly making them an Akechi expy in more ways.

And what resulted from that, ironically, is what I feel is a better character in the end. Blake feels more dynamic, lively and interesting now than the old iteration I first thought up, back when I was intent on making them My Own Creation with their own arc. At this point I’m comfortable saying that Blake, for all their similarities to Akechi, has evolved over the course of the campaign into a more interesting character, into someone I recognize as distinctly different and who stands out. They feel unique to me, and feel like my own character. And I think that only could’ve happened through playing them in a TTRPG like this, in developing them along with others, and having to adapt, and I think that’s the beautiful thing about developing characters with other people. The Blake I’ve ended up with is one I’m really happy with, who I feel is more interesting and dynamic to me than if I had just tried to force something unique just to not feel cringe about making an expy. And maybe I need to learn that lesson before I go through the same thing with Zee fjdkfnf.

[theygender]

I think some people may also be confusing hyperfixations with like. Making your interests a personality trait. Plenty of neurotypicals have favorite topics that become sort of a personality trait for them, like for example how some people are with football or gaming. People who are obsessed with football or gaming may spend a lot of time thinking about it, enjoy talking about it with other people, watch sports or play videogames often, and express their interests with merch and etc, but that's not the same as neurodivergent hyperfixations. Neurotypicals can still "turn off" their thoughts about their interests, and their general attention span and ability to focus isn't affected by it (unless there's a psychological reason for it like using it to cope or being "addicted," at which point it could be argued that they're not neurotypical anyways). Sure your sports-fan dad may grumble and complain if he has to deal with responsibilities outside of watching football, and your gamer brother might throw a fit if he has to stop playing videogames to do his chores or homework, but they both still have the ability to focus on other things

With a hyperfixation, even if I actively want to do chores or work on school stuff or run errands I can't force myself to disengage from whatever I'm hyperfixated on. Oftentimes, my hyper-focus is actually so intense that I completely forget that any other responsibilities exist, I'll just start engaging with my fixation immediately after I wake up and then by the time I realize I've been hyper-focused on whatever I'm doing it's already night time again and I haven't eaten, showered, taken care of any of my responsibilities, or usually even moved from my original spot. If I receive outside prompting (like from my partner) to work on something else I'll often still forget or be unable to do so, but even if I do manage to start on that other task I can't actually focus on it because I can't pull my attention away from thoughts about my hyperfixation

Also, hyperfixations aren't always things that make sense to be interested in, at least in my case. Sure I hyperfixate on media I enjoy (usually letting one piece of media completely take over my life for a long period of time before jumping onto the next one as soon as the Dopamine Machine runs out), as well as subjects I have a special interest in as an autistic person. But sometimes I hyperfixate on completely random shit as well, like the few weeks I spent trying to memorize the technical names for all polygons with between 5 and 10000 sides. Or the few weeks I spent teaching myself how to translate binary code in my head, even teaching one of my (also ADHD) coworkers to do the same so we could write messages to each other as practice bc I couldn't focus on work without thinking about binary code. Or the few weeks I spent learning as much as I could about taxonomy so that I could create a taxonomical classification of dragons as if they were real animals for absolutely no reason

Anyways, point being there's a difference between a neurotypical being really interested in a certain topic and someone with ADHD/autism/etc being physically incapable of focusing on anything other than their hyperfixation. If you relate to any of the above I would highly recommend that you look more into the symptoms of ADHD or evaluate how other neurodivergencies you have may be mimicking the symptoms, and talk to a specialist if it's feasible and you think it would help

i am once again asking neurotypicals to please stop using “hyperfixation” to mean “whatever thing i’m currently interested in”