#i crave these garbage posts

[prairieparadox]

I need Tumblr discourse over boring adult sitcoms. Where are my Jim Halpert kinnies. Where's my Parks and Rec shipping discourse about Leslie dating Ben over the cop. Where are the posts about blorbos from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Tumblr I ask of you to provide for what I lack in this poor drudgery of my life.

[kyluff]

— ↺ Pregnancy Cravings

✎ gojo + geto + nanami + toji + choso x reader !

✦ summary ➠ headcannons on how jjk men react to your cravings during pregnancy.

✦ warnings ➠ pregnancy, nausea, puking

✦ note ➠Hi! Can there be a part 2 of this like pregnancy cravings? - asked by erajoie07 under my ‘baby daddy’ post.

✪ Satoru Gojo

— Pregnancy had brought both negative and positive aspects to your life; exhaustion and energy, tears and happy tears, hate and love. But a very prominent thing that you, and Gojo, noticed was that it brought many cravings. That’s what brought you to where you are now, walking down a street that was littered with food and trinket stands alike.

It all started when you said you wanted ice cream, but not just any ice cream that you get in a pail. No, you wanted to have it scooped by a worker and given out in a large waffle cone, it had to be a waffle cone, not a regular cone. If it wasn’t then you didn’t want to eat it anymore. So you loving husband brought you to a ice cream stand.

“Thank you.” You heard your husband thank the cashier, taking the cone and turning to bring it your way. You were sat on a bench, wishing to sit for a while and rest your swollen feet. To be honest, you started to feel a little queasy ever since you reached the farmers market and had taken in all the smells it produced. It was hard carrying around a almost eight month baby. “Here you go, your precious waffle cone and chocolate ice cream.”

“Actually, I think I’ll pass. I’m not feeling well.” You grimaced, scrunching your nose up and the sight of the dripping ice cream. “Thank you for getting for me though.” You kissed his cheek.

“That’s alright, I can have it for you.” He assured you. “Feeling sick? Want to go back home?” He asked, sitting down beside you and pulling you closer to lean onto his body. Sure, he did let you drag him all the way here just to get you your special treat, but he understood. Pregnancy did a lot of things to a woman.

“No! I think I just need something salty to eat, sweetness it totally throwing me off right now.” You nuzzled into his shoulder, letting all your weight fall onto him.

“Good idea, maybe a soft pretzel, how does that sound?” He bumped your shoulder and you nodded as a response, letting him hoist you up. He secured an arm around you, steadying you while you walked to the pretzel stand, his other hand still holding onto the cone.

Once you had the pretzel secured, you bit into it, smiling at the salty taste that melted into your tongue. Quickly though, your smile faded and your lips trembled in an attempt to hold in the puke that was inevitably rising up your throat. You rushed to the nearest garbage can and let it all out, Gojo followed behind you in worry.

“I think it’s about time we go home.” He had already finished your forgotten ice cream, using one of his hands to pull your hair out of your face while the other worked to rub comforting shapes onto you back.

“No, no. I need a drink, I heard that ginger ale was good for upset stomachs.” You tried to reason, straightening your posture to stand fully.

He breathed in once, shutting his eyes slowly. Why were you being so stubborn, you were clearly sick and needed rest, but you insisted on staying here. He’d go easy on you, you were carrying his child after all. He regained himself, nodding in agreement. “If you get sick again, we’re going home, that’s final.”

You frowned, feeling guilty about making him do all these things. Once you reach a stand that had what you needed, you took small sips of the bubbling liquid, hoping it would react ok.

Gojo was watching you intently, to see if you showed any signs of discomfort or distress.

You paused, feeling another wave of nausea wash over you again. You did your best to hide it from the man that was looking at you, smiling shyly and starting to walk back down the street. “Let’s go home, I’m tried.” It came out shakily.

You did go home, speed walking to the bathroom to relieve yourself of this yucky feeling. You hovered over the toilet, all of the contents of your day coming up. You sighed and wiped your lip, finishing washing your hands. You reached for the door, but Gojo beat you to it. He had a disappointed look on his face, swaying his head side to side.

His silence made you speak, caving into it. “Look, I felt bad, I made you run all over just to get me some food. And I barely ate any of it!”

He softened, bringing your face close to his. “I don’t care about that stuff, I care about you, alright? Your my wife, my pregnant wife that is going to be the mother of my future kid, so if you want me to run you errands then I don’t care. I’ll buy you ten ice creams if that’s what you want.”

✪ Suguru Geto

— You and Suguru have been married for some time now, four years to be exact. And you weren’t first time parents either, you had twin girls that were already three years old by now. You both thought it was the right time to bring another kid into the mix. That’s how you became pregnant now, with your third child.

Your toddlers were asleep finally after they did their toddler activities all around the house. Now it was your time to relax, maybe read a few chapters of the book you started. You entered your bed, turning off the ceiling light and sticking with the candles you had lit all around the bedroom.

As you make yourself comfortable on your bed, your stomach decided to let out a large gurgle, signalling you were hungry. Really? Right now, after you were just about to start reading. You sighed, struggling to lift yourself off the squishy bed. Everything was more difficult when you had a belly the size of a watermelon attached to you. You got to the point where you were sat up, about to slide on your slippers before your husband had barged through the door.

He smiled at you, holding up a brown paper grocery bag up in front of him. “Just swung by the store and saw that they were finally back in stock with the chocolate you’ve been wanting so bad lately.”

You almost cried at the words Geto spoke, he had perfect timing. You were brought back down when he pulled the chocolate bar out of the bag and passed it to you.

“I love you.” You couldn’t help but blurt out, pulling him down with you and you fell down against the bed, kissing him deeply.

“Love you too.” He laughed, you were very random sometimes but he would never dare decline saying a ‘I love you’, especially when it involved you.

✪ Kento Nanami

— It was fairly early in your pregnancy, but it had already affected your emotions greatly. It made you into such a grump, and when you weren’t grumpy you were a cry baby. You’d cry at the littlest things, like if you were watching tv and a sad commercial was shown. You couldn’t help it though, it’s just how your body decided to react to the growing babe in your stomach.

You were a very lucky woman to have such a loving and considerate husband. He understood what you were going through right now, not even batting an eye when you screamed at him in anger, or when you wailed into his embrace.

Right now you were doing the latter of the two, you had been sitting on the couch and had the tv playing when a commercial about elderly dogs came on. When Nanami saw what was on the screen, he quickly sprung into action, switching the channel and looking at you to see how’d you react to this. You were trying to keep it in, taking deep breaths in and out. He stared at you, waiting for something to happen, anything. Then it did, trails of tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Nanami, did you see that poor, old dog?!” You cried out, pointing at the tv even though he had already changed the channel. “He was grey all over, and he had crooked teeth, and his eyes had a shine to them like he was crying!”

You fell into his lap, curling into a sad ball of cries. “And he looked so tired and done with life!”

“Yes, I saw.” He was usually good at coming up with what to say, but what was he suppose to say about a random dog. He regained himself, testing the waters. “He looked quite cute didn’t he?”

Your cries slowed a little, only a little, before they became worse then before. That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. “Such a cute face that’s going to meet its doom, he’s probably going to die in a few years!”

He tried to calm you down with physical comfort instead of verbal. He brought his hand to lay flat against your red cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the constant fall of tears. This didn’t even work though, because you shoved his hand away and covered your face with your own hands. It’s never been this bad, or this long before. You’d usually go back to your normal self after he passed a few words of reassurance or held you close. He didn’t know what to do, but he did what he did best; communication.

“Look, honey, I’m not sure how to help you here. What would make you feel better? Tell me, please, and I’ll do it, anything.” He expressed his feelings forwardly, allowing you time to digest his words. His pointer finger begun to curl with the ends of your hair, waiting for your response.

You mumbled something out against the hands that covered your face, he couldn’t quite understand you. “Say it again, louder this time please, for me?”

“I said ‘a bag of sweet chilli heat Doritos’ would be nice.” You removed your hands this time, ensuring he would hear you.

“Thank you for telling me,” He lifted you gently off of him and placed you back down on the couch as he stood. “I’m going to the convenience store on the corner, I’ll be back soon.” He left you with a small peck on your forehead.

When he returned home to you, he had two white plastic bags with him. “I got you the chips, and I few other things you like.”

After you had your fill of the treats he had brought, you were back to your normal self like nothing ever happened. But this would happen plenty of more times during the 8 months you had left to go, but Nanami didn’t care much. As long as you were happy, and your baby healthy, he was content in life.

✪ Toji Fushiguro

— Toji has been busy with work lately, a particularly hard case was passed onto him to take care of. But now that was all over, he successfully captured the target and handed them off to whichever client has hired him.

He sent a text your way, informing you that he had finished early and was going to be home sooner then expected, which excited you. Your hand subconsciously went to rest on your baby bump, rubbing soothing circles on it. You found that you did this when you were feeling intense emotions, either that being when you were stressed or you were happy, like in this situation.

You decided that you were going to make a proper dinner upon Tojis arrival. That’s the least he deserved after working so hard, and besides, being able to sit down and eat with him would be romantic for both of you after all this time apart.

“M’home.” He mumbled out, kicking off his black shoes and discarding his bag at the entrance. His face shifted slightly when he entered the dinning area, only you could tell though, only you could read him.

“Welcome home,” You skipped up to him, draping your arms around his big shoulders. You pressed a wet kiss to his cheek, then his nose and then his scar. Lastly placing one onto his lips, his own pair of lips chased after yours when you parted from him. “I made your favourite for dinner.”

“Oh ya?” A smirk tugged at his mouth, his hand slipped down so low on your waist, boarder line groping your ass.

“Mhm,” You nodded in response, taking his hand to lead him to the table you set up. There were two plates laid out, filled with food. “Sit down, let’s eat.”

The night consisted of laughs and deep conversations, you could finally talk about what you have missed from each others lives. You picked up your fork, planning to stab into another piece of a side dish you had made, but you were met with nothing. You frowned, that was the one you looked forward to the most while cooking.

Toji picked up on this, he watched as you started mindlessly playing with whatever was left on your plate. Letting the moment play out for awhile, he smiled down at you.

You’ve had enough, standing up and walking to where your boyfriend sat. You kicked the chair leg, telepathically telling him to push back from the table. He listened, leaving enough room for you to squeeze your way onto his lap. Toji accepted the situation, placing his hands on your hips gently, letting you do your thing.

“What’s up?” He hummed in a teasing voice, anything he said came out in a teasing way really. You took his fork, using it to eat what you had wanted to earlier from your own.

“Your sons hungry,” You said before taking another bite. “And he really seems to like this.”

He only nodded his head, letting out a quiet groan as he rubbed up and down the sides of your body.

✪ Choso Kamo

— Choso has always been an obedient boyfriend, doing anything you asked of him with no complaint. This time you might’ve crossed a line though, tonight you asked him to spoon feed you the vanilla yogurt he had just got back from buying you. This just might be the most outrageous task you’ve ever thrown his way, but he agreed to it still, that’s just how much he loved you.

“Can you really not do this yourself?” He asked you as he sat in front of you, lining himself up so he could perform what you wanted to be done.

“I could, technically speaking. But I much rather my handsome boyfriend do it for me.” You passed him the spoon and opened yogurt container.

“Hmm,” he hummed out quietly, taking the two objects you happily gave him. “I still don’t understand why you would ever possibly want this, though.”

“Because it’s romantic, Choso,” You educated your the man. “It’s like you’re feeding our baby yourself.” You giggled, this was a joke of course, I mean the logic behind your words made no sense. But this awakened something in Choso, he felt sparks forming in his heart. He never thought of it in that way, but he sure was now. And he liked that idea.

He quickly scooped up a chunk of the white substance, bringing it to your lips. You smiled at his knew found sense of enthusiasm, opening your mouth to welcome the silverware. You shut your mouth closed, swallowing the yogurt and letting out a satisfied hum.

“Wasn’t that nice? Very intimate I’d say—”

Your boyfriend didn’t respond, only forming another spoonful for you to eat. You smiled as you watched him, to think he was considering saying no to this, now he was enjoying it so much.

[thezombieprostitute]

Dragonfly - Part 2

Summary: Steve has just about everything he could ever want in life. He's got you, a baby on the way, and a successful Family. No one would dare interfere with that. Right?

A/N: Reader is female, pregnant. No other descriptors used.

Word Count: ~1k

Warnings: Death threats, Implied violence, Pregnancy. Please let me know if I missed any!

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

You’ve been stuck inside the house for days. It’s a beautiful house, you feel comfortable in it, but knowing you can’t leave makes you want out more than ever. You try to distract yourself by cooking and baking whatever it is the baby is craving but that only goes so far. Especially when you can feel Steve’s frustration adding to your own. Something needs to actually be done but, with nothing you can actually do, it’s just building up a lot of frustrated energy for both of you. He can at least use the home gym for some of his energy but all you’re allowed to use in there is the treadmill and it’s just not enough. 

Bucky finally has some news and calls you both into Steve’s office. You vaguely recognize the person with him as God the Bounty Hunter, or GBH as he allows only his closest circle to call him. Steve sets you in the chair behind his desk, the most comfortable one in the office, before sitting on the desk facing the two men. 

“GBH has been able to get an appointment with the person who runs the boards,” Bucky starts. Steve’s fists clench as he grabs the edge of the desk, fighting the urge to punch the faceless person. “It’s at the Cairo Hotel and I’m gonna recommend neither of you is there for it.”

“What?” Steve’s anger is evident in his clenched jaw.

“There are a few factors, Steve,” Bucky raises his hands. “Namely, I don’t think you can control yourself to follow the rules of neutrality at the appointment. We can’t afford to lose Pine’s support.” 

Steve lowers his head in understanding. You get up and gently rub your hand between his shoulder blades, trying to help him keep calm.

“Another factor is my professional standing,” GBH adds. “I have a reputation and clout to uphold. These aren’t the kind of people you want to piss off. Anything happens to Mr. Smith at an appointment with me, I’ll be done for. And not just professionally.”

“GBH assures me that there is procedure for a target to remove their contract or for someone else to do so on their behalf,” Bucky offers. “It’s likely gonna cost a lot, but I know that doesn’t matter.” Steve nods. “Plus, it’ll keep her off of the contract postings for at least five years.”

“But I am highly doubtful anyone will get any information on who posted the contract,” GBH confessed. Steve turned to glare at him but the other man seemed unaffected as he continued, “again, lots of regulation and factors. Namely trust within the business. No one’s gonna post a contract if there’s a chance the target finds out they’re the ones who opened it.”

“Just business, huh,” Steve mocks. 

You hug him from behind, “just getting the hit on me removed would be a major quality of life improvement.” You nuzzle your face against his shoulder. “And maybe we can send one of the Garbage Men to the appointment? They’re good at getting subtext and negotiations, right?”

Steve and Bucky both nod at your assessment. 

“I was planning on just me and God,” Bucky admits. “Would it be acceptable for us to bring a third?” 

GBH contemplates, “it shouldn’t be a problem. The key thing is that it’s at Pine’s establishment and he doesn’t have to worry about someone trying to hurt him in retaliation for doing his job.” 

Steve’s grip on the desk makes his knuckles go white. He hates the idea of his wife’s life or death being a matter of ‘business’. But he knows that’s how it is for everyone outside his circle. It’s the kind of thinking that he’s worked hard to make sure he doesn’t fall into. “Whatever you need to do, do it. I want this contract burnt.”

It’s finally the day of the contract appointment and you do your best to distract yourself and Steve. He’s always been willing to do whatever you needed but it’s been magnified since your confirmed pregnancy test a few months ago. Thinking it might help both of you to relax a little, you ask him to help you out. 

A foot massage for your swollen feet, keeping his hands busy and his thoughts focused on your moans of pleasure. 

A warm bath to help your muscle aches, keeping his attention focused on your naked body and the temperature of the water. 

Which, of course, led to the two of you in bed so he can properly worship your body. Part of you misses the rougher sex but you understand Steve’s hesitancy. And damn if he doesn’t still make you feel so good you forget your name. 

Steve holds your sleeping form in his arms, gently rubbing your belly. He knows you’ve been trying to distract him and he’s so grateful to you. He’s barely been able to keep from punching walls and checking his phone every five minutes. But taking care of you really helped to settle him. 

He hears the telltale chirp of his phone and moves as carefully as he can so that he doesn’t wake you. The message is from Bucky, Contract burnt. Possible lead thanks to Teach. His shoulders go lax as he finally feels the relief he’s been longing for. 

He returns to his place in the bed, holding you close. You barely wake up, just enough to make yourself comfortable and kiss his neck. It’s not completely safe for you and your baby boy yet. But now that the overarching danger has been taken care of, he can focus on finding and crushing the source. Whoever Dragonfly is, Steve vows they will die in agony by his own hand.

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

Tags:

@alicedopey; @aryhyuuga; @cynic-spirit; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jamneuromain; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @ktficworld; @leryg0; @rayofdawnworld; @rebekahdawkins; @talesofadragon; @texmexdarling

[the-fluff-piece]

For the now closed follower milestone event!

Also check my other stuff:

Stories and headcanons

I had a dream... + zoro + sexy for @plainsulla

Sorry for only getting around to finishing the milestone requests now! I am just no good at writing when I am stressed and it's too hot and I don't want to post a story I feel is absolute garbage...

so I hope you like:

Dream Girl

Zoro is a great sleeper, he has so much practice at it. So of course it throws him completely off balance when he begins to lose control of his dreams. Content: Zoro dreams sexy dreams about you and flirts aggressively. Contains sexy scenes but no smut

Zoro fought viciously. He watched his blades cut through the waves of faceless enemies with deadly precision and force. Sweat dripping from his bare chest, jaws already aching from holding his third sword. Go further. The hallway was lined with wano-style shoji doors, it seemed to stretch endlessly. He pressed on, towards his goal.

A big enemy, swinging a Hammer - no match for Zoro's speed or strength. A swift cut - the Hammer fell together with his master. Heaving, he let his swords slip back into their sheaths, a good fight.

The door directly ahead of him was painted with flowers and waterfalls. He opened them, finding a sweet surprise behind. A mass of concubines was giggling and already clinging to him, praising his strength with high, female voices.

"We have a gift for you" they cooed and led him to a large room, empty but for a mass of pillows in its centre. He almost drooled as he saw who lay there: y/n was seductively posing in the soft cushions, her eyelids heavy, her mouth painted red as blood. She wore an ornate kimono, the obi bound in front - like a whore would wear it. Not like it actually covered her body, it hung off her shoulders and a wide gap in the middle revealed the sweet space between her soft breasts, her belly. Knowing how to tease him, she had clamped her legs shut, blocking the sight he craved.

Pushed and encouraged by the concubines, Zoro practically flew on top of her and pinned her arms above her head, growling like an animal, licking his lips.

She moaned like he was already inside her. Zoro was as horny as he never was before.

He awoke shaken by lust and his own bucking hips - and his face on the floor. It took him a few seconds to realise that he had fallen out of his hammock. He groggily sat up, still absolutely randy. What was he dreaming about? It was stupid hot, he was sure, but the specifics already dwindled. He stumbled into the bathroom to finnish what his dream had started and get a clear head again.

But even as he sat down for breakfast, he still couldn't shake the weird feeling he had.

Bent over his tea and a sandwich, his mind grasped at the bits and pieces he could remember. Wano country? He fought. It happened a lot in his dreams. Mhm, concubines! That happened sometimes. But there was a bit more. As he dug in his own head for the memory that made him feel like a horny teenager, someone sat down opposite him.

"Morning y/nnaaaaaaaaa" he tried to greet his crewmate, but as soon as he looked in her face, he remembered with an uncomfortable clarity. His price, in a slutty outfit, there for him to take. As the memory of the dream returned, crashing is self control, his mouth stopped receiving orders and he almost chocked on a piece of bread. He coughed so loudly Chopper hurried to him and patted his back softly with his litttle hoof.

"Zoro, breathe!" the deer gave him his expert opinion as Zoro waved him off and got a grasp on himself.

He never looked much at women, unless they had swords to fight him, and especially he swore to never look at his crewmates this way to avoid complications. But right now, he couldn't tear his eye off her, staring, as bite by bite, her breakfast disappeared into her mouth. It had been red in his dream, but just as seductive with its natural shade.

When she spoke to Usopp, laughing at one of his stupid stories, Zoro had to swallow, he was reminded of that maddening moan from his dream that literally kicked him out of bed.

Fuck, she is absolutely cute, Zoro thought, chewing his breakfast. Remembering his past interactions with her, he realised that he felt most comfortable around her out of all the crew, maybe even more than with Luffy. She was always patient when he got lost, she was impressed by his skill, she tended to his wounds and thanked him when he had fought for her. And she laughed at his jokes, sometimes when no one else seemed to even notice them.

The more he thought about it, the clearer it became: he actually did think about her like a prize he won for fighting. When he had been absolutely out after his encounter with Kuma, she had taken great care of him, making him feel warm and safe.

No use in denying it anymore. He had a thing for her.

Fuck, he thought.

Fuckfuck, his mind repeated.

"I cannot fucking deal with this"he thought while wolfing down breakfast without really tasting it.

You

Full day ahead of you - you promised Nami to take care of her trees for today and than you wanted to help Chopper catalogue his herbs.

With your shears in hand, you got to work. There was a branch that would grow inward, possibly making the tree crown too dense, so you stretched and stretched to reach it without having to use the ladder. It was just out of reach, but suddenly moved towards you and you could grab it. You looked up - a scar and a light blue eye looked back down at you.

"Hey Zoro, thank you for helping me!" you thanked the swordsman. He was towering over you and could reach the higher parts with ease. He was also standing less than an inch behind you, so when you looked up your head almost bumped into his chest. Usually he respected other people's private space a bit more.

"No problem!" he answered and smiled. "Need me to grab anything else?" He asked, and swallowed as he realised that it sounded suggestive.

"No, not really" you told him - and lost your balance as you looked up at him and tried to turn around at the same time. He caught you with ease around your waist and brought you up against his chest, causing you to face him.

You were just catching your breath as his eyes grew heavy-lidded and his face came nearer.

His lips hovered above yours for a second, so close you could almost taste them, before he suddenly jerked his head back like he was burned.

You managed a small "thank you" and he let you down, looking flustered.

And things didn't get much better from here. He followed you around like a puppy, the whole day, growling at any crewmates that tried to communicate with you - except the girls and Chopper.

He grumpily sat beside you at dinner and looked like he could kill Sanji when he brought you an extra treat.

After dinner, he disappeared with a bottle of sake and it took you some time to find him huddled in a corner on deck, well on his way to getting drunk.

"Zoro, what's wrong with you today?" You demanded to know.

"Nuffin'" He mumbled, not looking at you.

"Following me all day and starting fights with the others is so unlike you, that's not nothing. What's wrong?" You asked again, bending down to look at his face.

"Nothing!" He shouted aggressively.

"I am not leaving until you tell me!" You stated your point again. You've had it with him.

"So you wann know?" He asked, clearly upset.

"Yes." You answered.

"You wanted it..." he said and took a step toward you, grabbing zur chin.

"It's you" He said, "you're doing this to me. I cannot deal with this right now..."

"I didn't to ANY-"your beginning protest is drowned by Zoro's greedy lips, practically eating you up. You felt a moan rumbling through his throat as he pressed you closer against his chest.

After an enticing moment that felt like an eternity, he let you go, panting and challenged you with a look.

His handsome face was red, his eye glinting, as he licked his lips as if he wanted to taste you once more.

"Now you know" he stated, studying your face.

"I can't fucking deal with this" you blurted out as you realised that everything has changed between you.

His shoulders started to shake - a deep laugh burst out of him.

"Me neither!" he chuckled. It was infectious and you had to laugh, too.

"Let's not deal with this, ever" he said, still laughing.

"Nah, let's not" you chimed in.

For a moment, you enjoyed the shared laughter, but as soon as it subsided, a nerve-wrecking silence fell over you. He nervously rubbed the back of his head as you stared at your shoes.

You kind of feared that this was it - case closed. As you looked up, you could barely brace yourself for impact again as he fell upon you, pinning you to the deck of the going merry.

"Not. Dealing. With. This" he breathed, his words immediately betrayed by his mouth as he devoured yours once again.

So yeah, that's you and Zoro not dealing with shit

[the-font-bandit]

What can I say? I'm a sucker for media that digs deep into ugly, toxic relationships.

Listen on Spotify Here

Tracklist:

Animal - Chase Holfelder

When Doves Cry - Prince

Pretty When You Cry - Vast

Bad Romance (Epic Trailer Version) - J2, SAI

Gravity - Sara Bareilles

The Only Time - Nine Inch Nails

Where the Dark Things Are - Kerli

Love Hurt Bleed - Gary Numan

Suffer - Hurts

Post Blue - Placebo

The Space In Between - How To Destroy Angels

Sweet Little Lies (Epic Trailer Version) - J2, Midian

I Want My Innocence Back - Emilie Autumn

The Devil is a Gentleman - Merci Raines

You're No Good (Epic Trailer Version) - Hidden Citizens, Rånya

Tempted (Conjure One Mix) - Collide

Lucifer - Elle Lexxa

Get Ready - Chase Holfelder

Toxic - Rumer Willis

One Way Or Another - Until The Ribbon Breaks

Possession - Denmark + Winter

Mouth (Stingray Mix) - Bush

#1 Crush (Nellee Hooper Mix) - Garbage

Fresh Blood - Eels

Under Your Skin - Aesthetic Perfection

Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge

Can't Get You Out Of My Head - In.Visible, Clan of Xymox

Me And The Devil - Soap&Skin

Beautiful Killer - Samsaruh

Fire and Whispers - IAMX

Craving - Godhead

Headstone - Mesh

I Hate Myself for Loving You - Halestorm

Bye Bye Bye - Aesthetic Perfection, Nikki Misery

Haunting Me - Stabbing Westward

[analexthatexists]

Jotting down my UTMV AU Ideas because of this guy

@idkhowtoread-ink you’ve inspired me now pay the price

No clue if ANY OF THESE can make canon sense but does it look like I care? Lemme have my fun.

AMV!Ink / AMV-VERSE (AMVV?)

The idea is simple. At least, I hoped it was. Rather than the artistic AUs, fanart, and creative writing side of the community, there was an Ink made for the musical side of the community, like the AMVs, themes, vocaloid covers and what not. I’m sure Ink probably looks over ALL of that junk already but let’s be honest when was the last time you saw him doing it? Yeah I didn’t think so. Ink could be an unfinished animation meme or a vocaloid AMV like that Spring Storm one and eventually find a way to leave it and probably protect YouTube or inspire creators or something, gaining access to all the other things and people on the platform. Error could even tag along as some sort of flawed copyrighting system using Error’s body as a means of moving around rather that being confined to STRINGS of text. (Don’t ask me how he does that I don’t know) He would recognize everything as copyrighted or plagiarism or something and try to destroy it without seeing the creativity and originality in the work. Their designs could be based off the AMVs or covers they came from with Ink being from whatever the hell and Error being from…idk, probably ECHO. I wonder if Inks outfit would depend on which videos and content he delves into almost like Hatsune Miku or other Vocaloid.

LONLEY GUARDIAN

This one is just sad. A Dreamtale AU where, during a fight between Dream and Nightmare, Dream reaches out and gets a hold of Nightmare’s SOUL trying to uncorrupt it, sacrificing himself to be able to restore a part of the original Nightmare. Dream dies and the world is cast into absolute darkness, leaving Nightmare stranded in the cold world with nobody to seek comfort from, nobody to help him. Not anymore.

INK <——> NIGHTMARE SWAP AU

Random idea that I came up with after jokingly writing Nightmare getting drunk off of Ink’s vials. Would that actually work?What if the two got into such a dangerous fight that eventually Ink tried to teleport away but Nightmare lunges at him and two get their “goop” mixed together because Ink teleports via INK. And nightmare is made of a INK like substance. If Ink doesn’t instantly die from lead poisoning or something this mixing could mess up his brain while Nightmare just kind of shrugs it off and steals Ink’s vials. Ink would no longer need the vials and rely off Nightmare’s “blood” to feel real negative emotions, slowly craving the stuff more and more than his vials while Nightmare probably gets drunk off the vials or something and takes on Ink’s role. Error and Dream may have to team up to get them back to normal or at least try to.

SHATTERED DREAM BUT SCARIER

So looking at this post made me consider something. What if Dream tried to eat the apples and yknow do what he did in the original AU, but due to the overwhelming and clashing natures of his apple and the dark ones he just…MELTED AND DIED IN FRONT OF NIGHTMARE. He doesn’t even corrupt or anything (well sort of) he just DISSOLVES ALIVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Imagine trying to prove a point and failing THIS BADLY. Anyways, rather than Nightmare being haunted by his now corrupted brother, he’s just ACTUALLY HAUNTED. I was thinking this could be like Phantom Papyrus and Dust Sans and that this new “Dream” (going by Shattered) is just a horrible manifestation of this traumatic event. It’s design and personality wouldn’t be the EXACT same especially not the design (would look so much scarier) but it constantly make Nighty feel like garbage and all that. People like Swap and Ink would have to find and help Nightmare get past this trauma, where only then can he and his “brother” finally move on.

EVIL INK AU BECAUSE YES

I know, we literally JUST went over an Evil Ink AU but hear me out. Wouldn’t he WANT a soul again? Idk if it’s possible for him to reabsorb and claim a soul, he probably can’t, but what if he COULD? He’d probably go nuts over Error’s or something. Just ANYTHING to fill that void other than his vials.

wow most of these ideas involve characters getting traumatized or turning evil. I ain’t sorry though!

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #32

32. THE NETHERLANDS Joost Klein - "Europapa" 26th place (Disqualified)

Decade ranking: 120/153 [Above Ochman, below Andrew Lambrou]

Yeah, #NotForMe. Don't like the blue chicken, don't like the awful murine clickbait faces, don't like how he tried appropriating Käärijä's legacy for his own benefit. In fact, there's a lot I don't like about Joost Klein. Get used to it. Feelings are mixed but they are trending towards the NEGATIVE.

The face of a man I want to trap inside a garbage truck.

What is funny to me though, is that I certainly could have liked "Europapa" if the Dutch hadn't made certain decisions. I have to remain honest. My ranking, my rules, my lack of taste. It didn't work for me.

The song's not without merit though. It's a fun eurodance number at a glance. "Europapa" works best when you hear it live after a few drinks and blurt along with its lyrics. It's an EXCELLENT concert and streaming entry, whipping up a good time out of thin air with few pretences.

As a Eurovision entry though... eh. It tried to be a lot of other things: A tribute to his dead parents, an introspective unspooling of his mental health, a spoof, a meme, a middle finger to society, like all at once? It has that Subwoolfer-like quality of straight men in a mancave brainstorming on how what a Eurovision entry looks like: stupid nonsense. How does that work? The answer to that is "barely", and only if you take it at face value.

The song is not really about Joost dead's father and his world view. That ... I think... is deliberate false advertisement. It's not untrue, but presenting it as the sole truth is a deception. If you delve into the song, you'll find that it's a little bit more complex (and less wholesome) than that.

Verse 1 is about desperately running away from your problems (Joost naming all of the destinations, clawing at people for money, having lost everything but time) and verse 2 tackles validation, desperately craving it and yet not feeling sated. "Europapa" is a coping mechanism first and a song second. It's a deep dive into Joost's inner workings and his soul, but one that exposes him as insecure and vulnerable and putting up a front of irreverence as a mask to the outer world. As per the second verse:

"I'm running from myself, I'm crying out for help - I even give people loads of money and there's nobody who gives me aid [...] turn the radio on, I hear Stromae's "Papaoutai" I won't stop [feel satisfied] until they say "yeah, he [Joost] is doing well, eh?"

Now, this is actually... not a bad thing. It proves that "Europapa" is authentic and has surprising complexity and layers. That's what distinguishes it positively from Finland, which is hollow and cringe.

The problem with the emotions is that they clash with the rest of the song?

Fewer sentiments kill the party mood quite AS hard as one of "Are you feeling alright? 😨 Is everything OKAY?😨 should I call a therapist?" 😨". For me it defo kills the vibe. I don't want to END a fun party song with concern for the singer's wellbeing. The fact that Joost is cishet and therefore incapable of talking about his feelings and yet PUT THESE VERBALIZED EMOTIONS IN PLAIN VIEW IN HIS EUROVISION SONG is enough to set the alarm bells ringing.

Of course it could have worked if the live got it right, but um lol. Let's be honest here: The live was BAD. It was INTENDED to be So-Bad-It's-Good, sure, because that's the only way cishets know to do camp. I don't mind a spoof of a 2008 joke act. It just was... performed and staged so poorly it became the thing it intended to parody.

You sir, are NOT Käärijä.

The best parts of the entry (the emotional complexity and the hak break) are completely washed away by a combination of the awful clickbaity faces, TERRIBLE vocals (the post-chorus "EUROs" in literal Cookie Monster Voice are amongst the ugliest sounds anyone created for Eurovision), nightmare fuel visuals and that ghastly, ghastly outro.

Actually, about that outro. That is what made me turn against Joost. It's the WORST section of ANY song this year. It's the combination of whiplashing from extreme rapture into literal mourning at the drop of a pin (which is kind of... really icky human behaviour when you think about it) with pushing it down our throats by including it in the recap. Make The Guillible Cry With Cheap Emotional Manip, it's not a tool exclusive to Israelis.

And you CAN actually blame this intrusive display of emotional expoitation squarely on Joost because he's a known perfectionist and therefore must have planned the execution of the outro the moment he and his cronies decided to include it in the song.

It did tie the ending together alright. But because it wasn't a showing of personal growth, or strength or accomplishment, which it could have been, it did not align with the rest of the song. Instead it underlined that Joost hasn't moved on and is hopelessly stuck in the past, desperate for validation.

Instead of underlining the cheerful, fun aspect of Europapa it instead brought my attention the dark, emotionally disturbing bits as the last thought, and that ultimately is what killed it for me. The song is a cry for help, which is nothing to be cheerful about.

Aaaaand that's the opinion on the song and the live performance. But we're not done yet because I must address what came after that. 🙄

So, let's tackle the press conference first. Zero complaints about that. I was annoyed with Joost before due to how desperately he tried to push himself as "Käärijä's" successor and fabricated his own PR campaign on TikTok (DIE TikTok), but his behaviour at the PC made me do a complete 180 on him. Him shooting pure unfiltered truth pellets at the EBU and Eden with no regard for the consequences was fucking GLORIOUS. All the things he said needed to be said and were said without a filter. It was pure oxygen and precisely what we all needed to hear, spoken because of its TRUTH and not for clout.

Then, the disqualification. It was 'a valid DQ' purely from a rules perspective but come on now. This was not a DQ worthy incident. He didn't touch the woman and she deliberately, repeatedly refused to respect his privacy despite multiple warnings AND an agreement he made with the EBU. How has this even been reported as a 'crime'? He APOLOGIZED profusely to the lady in question and she refused to hear him and called the police on him. Sometimes you just have the misfortune of running into a Karen on a bad day. And given how riddled with tension this year's backstage was, every day of rehearsals was a bad day for everyone involved.

The DQ went through because the EBU can't fucking clear up the slightest inconvenience. By the time the police became involved, there was no turning back, and they were forced to DQ as per their bureaucracy. The rest is backpedaling.

Both of these things made me feel more sympathetic towards Joost as a person. At the end of the day he's a deeply troubled, complex, tragic figure who (barely) functions on copium and is really terrible at expressing his true feelings and the events surrounding his DQ check out with that. He needs support from those who love him (and enter therapy.) The other delegations taking his side (other than ofc KUN(ts)), is a wholesome signal and proves that Europe can be United By Music even when it is Divided By Politics first. If this disqualification is what leads to some much-needed overhauls for next year (ideally the sacking of Österdahl, the cancellation of the MorroccanOil sponsorship and KAN's expulsion, in any order), I will gladly accept Joost's role in that as the proverbial sacrifce that needed to be made.

Ironically, it was the disqualification that made me realize I shouldn't bump Joost higher out of sympathy for his personality. I didn't miss Europapa on Saturday and barely noticed its absence. The results in the Grand Final were great, specifically because Switzerland won and Croatia beat Israel in the televote. If Joost competes, Swizterland and Croatia's TVs go down in western Europe, while Israel is still top five (since she beat Joost in the semi). He also shoves Bambie out of their serendipitous 6/6/6 placements to boot.

That realization is why I need to eliminate him NOW and not later down the road. I don't care for the song as a Eurovision entry, I DISLIKE the live performance and his presence could have made the results worse for me. Easy elimination at this stage.

Those that care about "Europapa" can keep singing its praises and should. Joost will need and shall appreciate the support after this nightmare Eurovision.

Ultimately though, I am not of his fans.

THE RANKING

[joyfulapostate]

hey! i love your work so much, i think you're doing amazing things and i always look forward seeing your posts on my dash.

i was wondering if you'd consider doing a post/sharing your thoughts on the concept of "being in the world but not of the world." it's something that's been on my mind lately, the kind of simultaneous victim/superiority complex that idea could potentially inspire. some verses related to that idea are 1 John 2:15-17 , John 15:19 , and Romans 12:2 .

in any case, i hope you have a fantastic day--you have no idea how important your work is, not only to me but countless others too.

Hello! I am so touched that you find my work meaningful. Thank you for sending this in! It's a fascinating subject and a lot to unpack (after all, it's the whole world we were asked to give up).

As a former fundie, the anti-world messages in these verses hit me pretty hard. They remind me of the years I lost to the faith and the paths I didn’t take. It's strange, because these verses felt so run-of-the-mill when I was a Christian. Of course I was not of the world, I was merely visiting this planet and I would return to my heavenly father once I passed his earthly test. 

I was told as a Christian that the secularization of society was a direct attack on our way of life, that “the world” wanted to replace all of the things that I valued with cheap knock-offs. Sex instead of holy matrimony, prideful independence instead of relying on my heavenly father. I had a very us-versus-them mentality where the "us" was guaranteed to win in the long game of eternity. I won't lie, I felt superior to secular people when I was a Christian. But the trick was, I didn't think that the superiority belonged to me, it belonged to the Christian god. It wasn't me who was better than other people, I was just letting my god protect me from the pitfalls of an earthly existence. If there was goodness or glory in that journey, it did not belong to me. It all belonged to him. It was a “get-out-of-pride free” card.

I had been sold this idea that the world was against “us.” I didn't notice that that hadn't been true for quite a long time. But most of the people around me were acting as if they were still in danger of being persecuted by some modern equivalent of the Romans. The persecution complex was strong, but entirely baseless. Because living in a multicultural society is not the same thing as persecution, even though they were treated as one and the same in my fundamentalist community.

I didn't want to notice that it wasn't loving to ask people to give up their whole lives. I had inherited this ancient contract that told me that I could gain an eternal life. All I had to do was give up everything. I was supposed to treat the world like a den of vipers, to regard everything earthly as garbage, and to live as if I was born in heaven's waiting room. There was no negotiation and the details that I did have were quite hazy as to what that eternal life would be like. And I was supposed to give up the only life I’d ever experienced for vague promises, sight unseen.

As a fundamentalist, I took the sacrificial mathematics of Christianity for granted. Our sacrifice mirrored Christ’s own– it's a compelling story. And I can see how it's attractive for people who crave the purpose, belonging, and freedom from suffering that Christianity promises. But I'm not ready to give up on this life and on this world for an incredibly shady deal. I don't believe that the only way we can be good people is by handing our lives over to someone who does not allow us to have informed consent in an eternal contract.

We deserve to have a connection with this world. We know that this life is real and ready for us to participate in. And if someone wants to separate us from the world, then they'd better be ready to tell us, in detail, the conditions of that contract.

Otherwise, I'm going to go ahead and love the world and the things in the world as long as I'm alive.

links, glorious links

[heal2ninjagogirl]

So I saw this one post about morro theorizing that he most likely died from starvation (well technically its not really a theory cause how else would he have died from when he was literally stuck in a cave with absolutely nothing to help him survive????) and I just want to say to that post WOAAAH because to me that is really dark cause in a sense, he was always hungry for something as in physically and metaphorically. Physically as in before Wu took him in we literally see morro having to resort to eating scraps from garbage in order to feed his hungerness and he doesn't even escape from it in the end as that causes his inevitable death as a human.

Metaphorically as in how much he desired and craved to be the green ninja so bad even when he's a ghost that hunger to be the green ninja before still plagues him and never leaves him which once again, causes his second(?? Idk what to call it...) death as a ghost.

Or maybe I'm just looking too deep into this let me calm myself down and remind myself this is a kids show....

(Btw kindaasrikal made the post I was talking about credit to them :33)

[phinixmaster-aprilg]

Warning Jamie Campbell Bower scammers alert blog:

if you all are suspe ting you are chatting woth scammers please let me know me and another person i speak with are trying to fight them and block them and send notices out of those scams people have been scammed putta money already due thes pesky scammers. i will be decising a away to make a page dedicated to scams related to these situations. the page will be free and you will be able to post you suspects and story on them. well thats the idea and each scam will be catagorized and searchable that way its easy to look up if any doubts.

Again this is just a warning for those who are unaraware or new to jamie campbell bower.

he also has stated this on his twitter and posted this as well incase you all want to know.

Stay tuned for the website i will post it on here somewhere venturally hopefully if not i will also let you all know to that as well.

please stay safe out there the world is a place full of fakes and people that crave the money and disrespect emotions like they are garbage. do not fall for them no matter how enticing they may apeal.

[sleepingghostt]

Hiii, I hope you’re doing well!

I saw a post on twitter that says “you think you’re asking for too much until you find someone who does it naturally” and I thought it was fitting Kagaao

So I was wondering if you could write a bit about that because I know you can make magic with them 😂🫶

Omg yesss!!!! This fits them perfectly!!!

When I read this, I just imagined Daiki having one of his depression days. No energy to leave his house and go to Taiga’s apartment, he locks himself in his dark bedroom and hides under his heavy comforters. On days like these, he doesn’t even bother to switch his phone to not disturb.

He just turns it off completely and sleeps the day away, pausing here and there to skim through one of his Mai-Chan mags, fuck himself with one of his toys that Taiga got him, or stare blankly up at the ceiling as he contemplates his life on earth, cause what’s the fuck’s the point of living if he falls out of love with basketball again? Or if Taiga leaves him? It’s only a matter of time. Everyone leaves eventually.

During these episodes, he struggles to leave his room. Like he wants to and shit, but he just can’t. He’s read all his Mai-Chan mags a thousand times and had meant to get the new one that’d just come out last weekend but he’d put it off all week like a dumbass. So he’s lacking satisfaction.

He gets hungry too, stomach growling incessantly for food. He’s fucking craving teriayaki burgers and fries with a banana shake to wash it all down, but he can’t find the strength to get out of bed. Lacking nutrition.

He’ll need a shower too before he leaves (if he leaves) and the last time he took one was yesterday morning. Lacking cleanliness. Lacking clean clothes. Fuck everything.

He’s just rotting and suffering alone today. Until he hears footsteps outside his bedroom and knocking on his door.

“Dai….”

Taiga

“Baby, can I come in?”

Daiki says nothing, just huddles deeper under his covers as he hears the door open with a small creak. He feels pissed even though his heart flutters at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. He wants to be alone today. Even his mom knows not to bother him on days like this. Fucking Satsuki even knows not to bother him on days like this.

Crinkling and rustling can be heard as Taiga makes his way to the bed, stepping over a mix of clean and dirty clothes and pushing aside garbage and discarded magazines.

Hope you like my depression room, you dick

There’s sounds of things being placed on the bedside table before the mattress dips with someone else’s weight. Daiki’s cheeks burn as Taiga gently lifts his blankets and slips beneath them, slotting himself behind the bluenette’s curled form.

The heat, normally a comfort, feels foreign today, misplaced but not unwanted. Not really. Daiki closes his eyes as Taiga’s arms wrap around his waist and he lets himself be pulled backwards into a warm big chest, his own chest deflating with a small sigh at the contact.

“Don’t wanna leave you alone today,” Taiga mumbles knowingly into unkempt blue hair, dropping some kisses to the strands. “Sorry.”

Heart warm, Daiki stays silent, finding Taiga’s foot with his and linking their ankles together. Can’t be by himself today huh…maybe company won't be such a bad thing.

Taking the gesture as a sign of acceptance, Taiga tightens his grip on the bluenette’s waist and busies himself with the side of his head, pressing kisses and making a soft trail down to the shell of his ear, the lobe, down his neck and back up to his cheek.

Breath by measured breath, Daiki slowly feels alive again…

-

They do this for the rest of the day, cuddling and napping with small breaks in between. Mid afternoon, Taiga wakes Daiki up with kisses and makes him eat something.

He’d brought him takeout and the newest Mai-Chan Magazine: a heap of teriyaki burgers and fries with an extra large banana shake to wash it all down, and a fresh, unwrinkled mag with his favorite idol in a maid outfit on the cover.

Daiki almost cries and gets a nosebleed. Almost. He wants to cry but if he did, Taiga might throw one of his annoying worry fits so he doesn’t, but his eyes do tear up and his throat feels rough as the redhead spreads all the food out across bed, setting up the laptop that Daiki’d left at his apartment two days ago in front of them so they could watch one of the bluenette’s favorite comfort animes: my neighbor Totoro.

Slumped with his back against his redhead’s chest, they watch the movie, Taiga’s loud chewing in Daiki’s ear, not as deafening as it usually is. Pouting, he even lets the older hand feed him his food (just for today- he gets a pass, he’s not himself) until he gets sleepy and they take another nap, this one less heavy, more light, the feeling of emptiness he felt in the morning, almost washed clean from his skin.

Nap, break to eat some more and finish the movie. Nap. Break to worship every ounce of his Mai-Chan treasure as Taiga watches him unamused yet fond, fingers in his hair, arm holding him close, keeping him tight against him. Nap. Break to cuddle. Nap. Finally ready for a bubble bath.

Content and well rested, Daiki loops his arms around Taiga’s neck and holds on tight as the redhead carries him bridal style to the bathroom where he runs the warm water and undresses him with gentle hands. Once placed inside the bubbly tub, Daiki hums appreciatively and rests back against the bath pillow Taiga had bought him, letting the heat seep into his bones as eucalyptus, one of his favorite scents calms his senses.

After a long soak and a scalp massage that almost puts him to sleep, Daiki’s ready to get out. He makes no protest as Taiga drains the tub and scoops him up again, wrapping him up into a warm, fuzzy towel burrito (the fucking towel hot and cozy, having just come out of the dryer- when the fuck did Kags have time to do the laundry?)

Once Daiki’s hair is thoroughly dried, the redhead carries him back to his bedroom where he dresses him in a sweatshirt and sweats and tucks him back into bed, turning off the light and hopping in after making sure his bluenette is comfortable.

By now, it’s nighttime and Daiki’s tired again. He yawns and snuggles into Taiga’s chest, breathing in the scent of home as big arms cradle him tight, fingernails skimming up and down his back in gentle motions.

”You up for cleaning your room tomorrow,” Taiga whispers lowly into his hair.

Daiki shrugs, almost out already, the steady heartbeat against his ear lulling him to sleep. “Sure. ‘S long as I’m not doing it by myself.”

A snort, then a kiss against his scalp. “Idiot. Of course you’re not doing it by yourself.”

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

Just as he opens his mouth to put his thoughts into words, Taiga beats him to it. “I love you.”

I know you do.

“I love you too…thanks for today. I needed this.”

He did. More than anything and of course Taiga knew that. That dumbass knew everything. Daiki didn’t even have to say anything and Taiga knew what he needed; what would make him feel better.

“Well I needed you, so I guess we’re even now.”

”…Guess we are.”

THE END

and of course Daiki falls asleep to Taiga’s murmured praises about how much he means to him.

Thanks @kagaomine510 for sending me this! This was so fun to write! Fuck I love them so much. It’s unreal how much Kagami loves Aomine, like seriously. His world literally revolves around the bluenette (and basketball, and food)

[beansnpeets]

Hi friends. Personal stuff under the cut, as per usual. I may be asking for dating advice. 😬

How flirt??? How do I make it clear to a man that I would like to Smooch And Stuff Maybe?? Without explicitly telling him??

I would very much not normally ask this kind of thing here, but I do not know who to talk to about it. I already talked to my bestie and she is bolder than I and has more or less told me to just suck it up and tell him, but uh. I don wanna 😵‍💫 because FEAR.

I have been out of the game for so long. The apps were already getting bad when I met Jon more than 6 years ago, but I hear they are Super bad now and I'm not really interested in wasting my time. I already have my eye on SDG, obvs. It would be NICE to do a little dating before I get into something with him, but I already know I am not meeting anyone anytime soon so I may as well just skip that part since it isn't important to me, just could be fun. I am pretty sure he likes me back, but he is being RESPECTFUL and giving me space post-breakup with Jon and I have already been dropping hints at him, but perhaps it's just not clear enough.

I gifted him a photo album with a few photos he had mentioned once he wanted printed out and I hand-wrote a note thanking him for the help moving and letting me be a part of the kennel and I signed it "yours, Blair 💙" and he messaged me afterward "I love it 💙 lol", and said it was a good trade for the collar he gave me for Rollei (he also gave me a hoodie with his new kennel logo on it, which I did not order, he ordered one for me specifically and gifted it to me) and idfk where to go from that. Everything since then has been normal. He DID linger and follow me around a little last weekend when I was there to brush dogs again. We usually end up chatting whenever I am there, it's always been like that from day 1. I have told him stuff I haven't talked with a lot of people about, in terms of my family garbage. He has told me some of his also. He was one of few people I told about Jon before I bought the house. And every time we talked after that he asked me if I had "had the difficult conversation yet" (dumping him).

Anyway, yeah idk how to flirt with this guy. I am getting a failing grade in Flirt I think. I had an opportunity to make a move last time I was there, but I was too chicken to be that bold. Might try next time, but idk if I can get up the nerve.

And here is the tmi/nsfw part pls don't perceive, but I need to get it out.

I know it is quite soon still, after Jon. I was trying to leave Jon for more than a year, though. I was ready to get out a while ago. Um but I am really craving that partnership and companionship that comes with a relationship but also I would reeeeeally appreciate getting laid sometime soon because I haven't for MANY MONTHS and now that I am free from the tension of my ex I am finding I do in fact have a libido. But, again, I ain't meeting anyone here. I don't like bars and there isn't exactly a roaring dating scene for 30+ people in this tiny town. Unless I wanna go after older men, but.....ew.

Like idk where to meet people? There is no recreation here!! And I'm not just chasing SDG because he's around my age, single, a dog person, and convenient. We get along well and I am interested to get to know him and see what this could be. Also VERY attractive man. Ngl. God. The one day I showed up there and he was doing chores with his shirt off and WOWIE I melted. And those hazel eyes 😍😍

But anyway. Um. Yeah. So. I am A Yearning Mess right now and have been super unsure how to deal with it. I am terrified to be too bold, but I am thinking maybe that is the next step here. Idk how much time he is going to give me post-Jon or if he is just going to wait for me to make a move anyway to be respectful. I am tired of chasing men, I would like to be pursued by someone I like just once 😮‍💨

[female-malice]

Hey, guess what I just saw? I just saw the worst thing ever. Garbage was delivered directly to my eyeballs from one of those soccer lady's media companies. Wanna see it?

What the actual fuck am I looking at...

Parts of this intro may seem reasonable, specifically the ecology parts. Ecology is an extremely important, wildly difficult, and universally charismatic science. Everyone is attracted to ecology but most of us lack the training to understand it. Everyone craves a human cultural process that can make ecology easier for the average person to understand. These are not unique or novel or strange cravings. It's extremely normal and universal to seek understanding of your place in the ecosystem. It's normal. So it's not queer.

I can promise you that ecology does not need to be post-modernized. Ecology should not be presented this way:

"Queer communities are uniquely positioned to lead on climate adaptation through embodied strategies already inherent or familiar to queer experiences. On an individual level, queer lives are mutable: we understand change and transformation in intensely personal ways. On a collective level, queer community is mutualistic: it is symbiotic, in-contact, relational; it is a space of eccentric economies and mutual support, of found families and utopian dreams, of care and connection and the net benefits species gift one another. Through our artistic production, we aim to share this world of transformation and cooperation as strategies for environmental adaptation and ecological survival."

Ecology is for every living being on the planet. The artistic and cultural processes that we build to help everyone understand ecology should have universal appeal. This "queer ecology" resembles an insular academic trend that alienates most people. It is not inviting.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Damn, this next alphabet is kicking my ass and then I have so many more to do-- (I'm excited to do them, I love long form headcanons and overthinking things into essays and covering a lot in one post, they just take so long especially when my brain ain't working--)

Anyway, have the rest of my sexuality headcanons!!

The Outsiders Queer Headcanons : (Part 2)

Tim -

gay, 100% into men.

has dated/hooked up with women because he's "supposed to," but they always have to make the first move and he never really enjoys it.

pretty open about it. not really the type to bring it up unprompted, keeps his personal life personal, but if asked he sees no reason to hide it

what's anybody going to do about it, fight him? okay, he'll kick their ass. he ain't scared of what anyone thinks about what he does in his own free time. they're the ones that brought it up, they can mind their damn business.

Curly -

unlabeled, if asked he'd just shrug. he likes guys sometimes, he's pretty sure he's liked a girl or two before.

no thoughts, head empty. he has put zero thoughts into it.

maybe somewhere on the arospec, his romantic interests are really muted

still there, just not strong

for him, a partner is more of a MAJOR best friend that he happens to be physically attracted to as well

"wait, do any of the Shepherds like girls?" you ask

well, I just said that Curly likes girls sometimes... but let me introduce yall to

Angela -

pan and proud as FUCK

and has MASSIVE game, more than her brothers combined

poly as well, loves group dates and having partners that interact with each other especially

gets really into queer spaces/community, will actually seek out lgbt spaces and such

loves going to drag performances, she's loud and social and likes dramatic make up and costuming, she has a natural draw to drag queens.

Sylvia -

bisexual, prefers men, might go her whole life without even thinking of herself as anything but straight outside of modern au

like, in modern day after hearing about different sexualities then she might clock the feeling after realizing that being attracted to women is a thing

but her attraction to women feels different than her attraction to men, so she would probably just think "oh, we're REALLY good friends and I'd totally kiss her if she wanted to, but that's just how girls are right??"

it isn't even preference so much as it's intensity of attraction, has more small crushes on women and few bigger crushes on men

Evie -

aromantic, bisexual and slightly prefers men

not very romantically affectionate (is platonically affectionate), but is okay with having a partner that is. she just won't initiate or crave it, but she doesn't mind it. romance neutral in general.

does want to date still, loves a good qpr, will communicate with her partner about her lack of romantic attraction but doesn't feel the need to be open about it with others. she's in a relationship, it can be read as a romantic relationship, she isn't correcting anyone

Sandy -

straight

homophobic in an ignorant way

"no, I don't have a problem with the gays, I know some gays!!" girl, NO.

won't be intentionally mean, doesn't like when people are blatantly homophobic, but also won't put effort into changing herself and won't call out other's around her. might give an eyeroll and a "stop, be nice!!" at most.

thinks that since it doesn't actively affect her it isn't really her place or business

Cherry -

bicurious, but probably ultimately straight

is such a girls girl, very platonically affectionate, thinks girls are so pretty, so the thought of dating a girl has crossed her mind

also, she has ass taste in men and has definitely said "a woman would NOT treat me like this" but, boo, I have met women that would treat her like that and if she would just date a man that isn't garbage then she'd see that it's her standards that are the real problem

does try dating a few ladies, really isn't feeling it, feels really bad for leading them on and ends up staying longer than she should because she really loves them as friends and doesn't want to lose them

is the super pretty, casually flirty straight girl that 99% of sapphic people have unfortunately fallen hard for.

Marcia -

aromantic and asexual

has fallen into a lot of comphet, has absolutely dated a handful of men because her friends all were in relationship

slightly romance repulsed, thinks it's all just so boring

but is BOMB at coming up with pick-up lines and stuff, is witty as hell and will get flirty sometimes. she just doesn't want anything even slightly serious. it's a mental exercise, some friendly back and forth, nothing more. anything seriously romance-heavy gives her a major ick

sex-neutral, is interested in anatomy and artistic nudity (think figure drawing), she's not squeamish around the idea of sex and isn't even strictly against having it

just very... scientific about it. not very emotional, will work out theories or ideas in practice. likes to see what the human body can do, likes playing with dynamics, sees it all as research

doesn't really like the idea of a long-term relationship, likes her independence too much

[fishnamedsushi]

I am late to this because I've been super busy and I don't think I've ever done one of these before but thank you @dark--whisperings and @demon----dean for the tag! I really appreciate it!

Here goes....

3 ships: Oof, this is hard to answer haha. I go through phases and have shipped so many pairings, but right now it would probably be Obikin (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker), Dinluke (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker) and Kylux (Kylo Ren/Armitage Hux)

first ever ship: I honestly don't remember lol! But I guess I started rabidly reading fanfic back when the Avengers first came out and I got really into Stony (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark). And then came Hannigram (Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham) and I was deep into it and never got back out again.

last song: I Hate Love by Garbage - it's good vibes for a fic I am writing

last movie: Barbie

currently reading: I have a hard time reading too much when I am in writing mode, but I am slowly working my way through Like Real People Do by glimmerglanger. I love it and have read it many, many times!

currently watching: Ahsoka (obv). Also just finished Good Omens S2 (don't talk to me) and re-watch of OFMD in preparation of the new season next week.

currently consuming: wine as inspiration to write

currently craving: the ability to take all my ideas and turn them into fics instead of endless additions to my prompts doc.

tag 9 people you want to know better: (no pressure!!)

Ah, I think most everyone has already been tagged probably, but just in case, hello there @jedibongrip, @tennessoui, @dinagastuff especially because I saw recent posts about work from them and I 👀👀👀

[care666bear]

Jesus Christ don’t talk to me about crazy

This man, we didn’t even date but we’re both garbage & have lowkey played these silly games for years, our first date he told me he craved psychological warfare, I knew he’d be around 4 a long while in my life lmao. we’ve dated other ppl, mostly to cum quick and dip. This man was seeing some weird (like I mean bad weird) type bitch & tell me why did I find this bitch and her whole family, her childhood pictures, her parents wedding, I found her tumblr ?? Like I went down a rabbit hole before I just had a moment of clarity like baby chill. they haven’t even spoken in a couple months ?? I only found her bc he posted ONE photo of her in January and I used her tattoos 🤣🤣🤣 worst part is I know this man will always come back to me, don’t even need to doubt it like u couldn’t replace or duplicate my stupid ass but omg why am I so obsessed over some bitch 🤣🤣 (I also follow another ex of his on ig bc she was private & I needed to see what was up) /to be fair I’m pretty sure he harasses my ex still when he gets drunk so it’s fine but I wish I understood the psychology to being a weird stalker bitch even when it isn’t relevant anymore like sometimes I’m so ashamed ?