#i couldve treated him so well
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I love his hair so so much mkdjdjxmxxmsjsjsjdnddn 😭‼️💔💔💔
#hes so fucking adorable#i need to play with his hair while i reassure him ill always love him#and that hes my favorite person#i couldve treated him so well#he wouldve been so loved and cared for#my baby 😭#john entwistle
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Who is the most well-written danganronpa character in your opinion?
ok so i bet you werent expecting that answer but . k . komaeda Alright i know i know stop booing me. but seriously ive always found it so interesting how they ingrain him into the worldbuilding (luck and societal beliefs on talent in the dr universe etc) he is hilarious he is tragic he is cunt what else could u need.
i definitely think kyoko is right there next to him ughhh shes SOO GOOD UGHHH. one of the most memorable parts of thh. i think byakuyas arc is really well done i love how naturally paced it is throughout thh as well as sdr2 and udg and i love how realistic hina feels. im sure some v3 characters deserve to be on this list but i havent played v3 so i cant tell u
#i also really like izurus writing but a lot of what i like is restrained to utdp so im not countin him#because part of good writing is. not making me have to Search for said good writing#and what we got in chapter 0 and dr3 and the one scene in udg is subtle. its very clever but the story doesnt rly focus on it too much#i think the subtlety works well for him but they couldve like. shown him a little more love instead of treating him like an extension of#hajime#danganronpa#ko’s danganronpa ramblings#asks
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It kinda sucks we never see why Blake turns against the White Fang besides "but the crew members :("
Like, she feels so strongly that peaceful protest is better than violent but... why? Who introduced her to it? What happened that cemented this ideology? Did a mission go too far and get too many people killed? Is she uncomfortable with the scorched earth aftermath? It's clear that she has no problem getting her hands dirty so long as it's Faunus blood, so what finally compelled her to leave the Fang and run away to a school?
For fuck's sake, she can't even give a real reason for why violent protest is bad!
This lack of thought into her motivation and methods, as well as her constant chastisement of the Faunus while cowering before blatant racists, makes her seem like she's catering to the oppressor class. She's written to be palatable to people with privilege, to never force them to question their own in/actions, and definitely never shatter the illusion of docile catgirl spankbank by having strong, consistent morals or a personality
Fucking disappointing
#rwde#blake couldve so much more#like if you HAVE to have a peaceful vs violent protest debate then you need to put your money where your mouth is#and blake does shit for faunus rights even in the first few volumes#she even states that violent protest was actually working! which is the fucking point of protest!#while i understand the philosophy of peaceful protest i can never agree w it#in order for peaceful protest to work your opponent must have a conscience - stokely carmichael#generally if you have to ask someone to treat you w bare bones decency they aint got one#and everyone who does the peaceful protests gets deified in the worst ways possible#mlk jr is hailed as a great man that everyone quotes and loves nowadays but the man was suicide baited and killed by the fbi#he was the most hated man in america and those same people who condemned him are now throwing his methods in peoples faces#peaceful protest is theatre#if youre going to be condemned anyway then you might as well do smth that actually leaves a mark#take some fuckers down before they take you out
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You know. Sorry for another sporadic unprompted post about that friend who has caused me so much trauma in the past year. But I remember this one time his old high school friend I met once, he's really nice I liked him a lot. Cool guy. But he lives far away so they don't meet up a lot but they text. One time he sent this friend some pictures of us that were taken at a cooking class that he'd been bothering me into going to despite that it was all the way in Boston, there was a lot of walking to get to it, etc. And I was like constantly feeling sick and run down and exhausted from having Covid recently. He texted his friends those pictures of the two of us and his friend asked "Are you and Diana dating lol" like pretty innocently but honestly curious.
And he just replied "Are you fucking high" and he showed me and told me about it. Like. Like it was uncomfortable for HIM to be asked that.
Like his response isn't SUPER INSULTING TO ME.
#and also just really fucking mean to that friend. like???? WHO TALKS LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE#his friend was like 'oh lol sorry. but itd be cute if you were' like why make him ashamed of asking a normal ass question???#the way this guy was possessive over me and entitled to my constant attention youd THINK he was my fucking boyfriend#this anecdote is actually a good example of how even if you just do smth completely normal (in this case asking a question)#but he doesn't like it he'll just turn it on you and make you feel wrong or crazy. FOR NOTHING#he doesn't reflect at all on the insulting unthinking ways he treats ppl either. why would he? he's always right#and if he's ever not right it's always someone else's fault somehow.#that's why i can't bring up any of this shit to him. his response is always 'well you couldve just told me' but no#NO ONE CAN TELL YOU ANYTHING BC YOUR ANGER AND EMOTIONS ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S RESPONSIBILITY!!!#motherfucker has no idea what the word imposing means#tales from diana#i truly loathe this little boy bitch baby#'are you fucking high' it's funny bc that makes it sound like he'd never be attracted to me#it's very likely he was. i hate to be like this but im not FUCKING UGLY AND HATED BY EVERYONE?? UNLOVABLE???#im found attractive by ppl pretty often and im not offended by it.#but hed get so weird whenever someone expressed interest in me#one time he humiliated this guy i barely knew by telling him he knew that guy asked me out for valentine's day.#the fuck???? why are you making that guy explain it to you??? it wasn't WEIRD. i just said no you FREAK#makes human beings feel ashamed of human emotions bc he doesn't have any of his own.
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i am once again thinking about the missed opportunities of a garth and jackson mentor/mentee brother in arms relationship
#OUGH#dc stop trying to write garth out of the aquafam challenge intentionally whiffed#they hate him sooo much it makes them look stupid#alhgd#its genuinely insane to me how dc writers are incapable of showing garth caring about the aquafam and the titans at the same time#insane#but anyway#OUGHHHHHH#what couldve been...#its just INSANE how garth immediately gave this random teen he just met like five minutes ago his entire ass name#and then never talked to him ever again like i simply do not believe you#and while i still dont Like rebirth garth i feel like being put into more a mentor role Especially while he's Actively with the titans !!!!#would be really good for him!#and like dont get me wrong im perfectly fine with jackson being the next aquaman i actually prefer that#However its like dc doesnt realize that he can be close to and respect both of them#theyre giving him this Super Cute brother sister relationship with andy and its !! amazing !!#but i also cant help but Scream a little cause ohmygod why are we pretending garth never existed#why are we pretending that garth would ignore this teen boy with family issues who needs a safe place to learn and live !#why are we pretending that jackson wouldnt talk to him or ask him for advice or At Least bitch to him when arthurs being arthur !!#insane to me absolutely mental up the whazoo#all of their interactions are so awkward and feel so coworker and eeewwwwggg i hate it#im not saying that every New person needs to be immediately treated like family#but also come the fuck on its GARTH he's not icing out the new kid !!!!!!!!#swear to god garth has had more full blown conversations with tusky than he has with jackson#while jackson is def still underappreciated at dc theyve still managed to give him some really amazing well thought out#relationships with the rest of the aquafam#and its so weird to me that they seem so insistent on garth not being part of that#when he's consistently one of the most loyal members of the fam anyway#i just Know the two of them could be really close if dc would let it happen... they will not give it to me though..... the scoundrels......
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#i need to be away from here#gott i just...#im autistic right just fyi#and my mum does not treat me as if i were#like she has neurotypical standards for me which i have to meet otherwise there will be Bad Consequences#and this is killing me bc im not neurotypical#the only way she'll treat me as autistic is if i get officially diagnosed#which i kinda want but also dont want#and its just. she's. gott my relationship with her is so complicated but shes caused me so much hurt and trauma and pain and#thats what im feeling right now. that.#i should get a diagnosis for me not for her#but i dont think i can survive in this environment for much longer#i told my dad i might try get diagnosed (havent talked to him about autism before) n he was like “okay”#pretty much verbatim#which is realistically the best response i couldve had#then he went on a rant about how autism “didnt exist” in the past and how its caused by vaccines#and this drug which apparently helps with autism and when i said No im not doing that i dont want to be “cured” this is a thing that#shouldnt be cured he was like ??? then whyd you want a diagnosis#hhhh but that i can deal with. after 4 years of being subjected to his and my mums conspiracy theory bullshit i can put up with it#at first it really stressed me out but i can cope with it now and come up with well thought out and factual grounded counter arguments#n i told my mum that dads fine with me getting a diagnosis n then i asked her if when i get one she'll treat me as if i were autistic#and she laughed and was like wait until you get one#like she doesn’t think i am which shows how Fucking Little she knows about me and how much i have to hide from her#because shes always shouted at me for Every Autistic Trait i display#im never fucking good enough for her#she treats me and percieves of me as if im neurotypical and Im Not#i remember once (after something happened) i heard her shout “WHY CANT I HAVE FUCKING NORMAL CHILDREN” or something like that#that sticks with you.#that shit hurts and sticks with you#who gave this woman two queer autistic mentally ill children to raise who's fucking plan was that
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Thank you, and to add some tinfoil-hat theory, anyone that feels cheated by the ending they got? It's because of the explicit bi erasure. You're mad? This is just another Wednesday for me. This is why i dont hate the ending - they made people *mad* the bi characters died, rather than casually accept that their deaths were inevitable as so many shows, including this one (as a *commentary* - more on that later), have done.
Season 15 (and most seasons, I would argue) is a meta-mirror of the real world, the writers explicitly likened Chuck to a network executive for a reason, and they wrote the Destiel arc to be so central to the plot, that the only way to end it was to fulfill the romantic arc and canonize the bisexual love in the room, or kill them, and the network had to choose - the writers didn't kill Dean and Cas, they gave the network a choice, and based on *market research* (see: the American public), most people would rather see a dead bisexual than a happy one, and that's how the writers attempted to make up for all the queerbaiting and homophobic nonsense we had to endure for 15 seasons - showing everyone their own ass, i mean, isnt this what they asked for?
We can joke about how it's a show that doesn't take itself seriously, but plenty of these writers had been working on this show for years, they loved these characters - if we watch their last season, deadly seriously, they have given us a pretty damning social commentary on the state of corporate/network censorship seizing control of our own narratives from us.
Edit: grammar, punctuation, wording
ok but where are my fellow bisexual castiel truthers huh where are my bi4bi deancas siblings in arms huh where are my cas-is-gay-but-as-in-the-umbrella-term people HUH WHERE ARE Y'ALL WHERE
#They weren't perfect#and I'll agree we got some shit writing from time to time#but I'm so sick of “fans” hating on the show#and it was definitely hard to accept s15 but the second go around is so much clearer#they are *screaming* at us to read btwn the lines and hear what theyre saying#it's a genuine fight to complete their story arc with a canonical romance *and* an apology for failing to defeat the network *and*#poison in the network well#they really told deans story well and died with a gun in their hand#and while thats a badass way to go that was never the way they *wanted* it to end#for them or dean or cas.#chuck won#and it's hardly subtext#spn tag rant#>?[#i mean cmon chuck literally calls his other universes “failed drafts” and doesn't toss them like a writer would *ever* treat their own work#he treats them like an executive shoots down compelling and impactful writing for mass appeal regardless of quality#they couldve made history and chose the most *boring* ending#also intentional on the writers part to have the confession scene (all hail berens) completely blow the finale out of the water#sure blame covid all you want but I'd bet money the writers room wanted the confession to be the send-off and not give the network#a satisfying ending after so cruelly ending one of the most lovingly written relationships on the show#look how jensen talks about dean#you think the writers don't also love him to bits and hate how his story ended just as it began?#cas and Dean's death made a *real-life* impact exceeding their own universe and stretching into ours#asking us to take control of our own narratives even though they could not escape the one chosen for them#as dean says#there is a right and there is a wrong here and you know it#their ending was *wrong*#it was terrible for the characters writers actors fans and bi/queer rep#these characters were defined by their commitment to getting off the hamster wheel (dean nearly *loses himself* in desperation to be free#and we still got a dead bi and a widowed one that could never live the life he wanted w/o him
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blue writing is lance's notes fyi anyway uhh character bios below !! long ass writing warning but worth it i promise chat pspsp | no notes version AND the transparent PNGS down at the end!
character bios:
Allura [???] | A lone princess who is burnt out and stressed out her mind, her only solace/stress relief being the garden she has where she can have peace and quiet, shutting her brain off while she does the tasks of tending to her precious plants and bugs. She tries her best to remain as friendly and optimistic as possible, if not for her own sanity, however thanks to the stress and pressure put on her, she has a tendency to lose her cool and sometimes shut down entirely. She has a passion for commanding and loves honing her fighting skills as that was one of the ways she bonded with her father. She more often than not can be seen in comfortable clothes, she doesnt mind dresses and does enjoy dressing up but will only do it when shes going out the castle or theres a meeting. | this gal couldve been an burnt out autistic queen DREAMWORKS, YOU COUDLVE MADE HER ICONIC .... let her be a dorky nerd whos a hater sometimes, pretty please
Takashi Shirogane | A garrison commander (no one is really sure of his job title to be honest with you..) who's insanely passionate about his job, to the point where hes willing to sacrifice it all if the garrison wills it. Anything to serve. He tries his best to fit in and be hip with the kids, he tries to come across as the 'chill' teacher, but students of his have reported that after a few months, any amount of chillness is thrown out the window. If not that, hes often not even in class, too busy doing missions he wasnt assigned to. He's intense. Very intense. Knows his way around words though for the most part, can be very convincing and a bit maniuplative, very goal driven. He means well though? Thats what he says. He always throws a quick sorry if someone brings it up with him, so that must mean something. | sorry in advance if you follow along with Sonder's story... unrelated but dreamworks wrote a banger antagonist without even realizing!
"Keith" Kogane / "Morse" | Unknown origins. He was a talented garrison pilot who could practically fly with his eyes closed, a jack of all trades, short tempered and prone to losing it but all things considered, the perfect cadet for the garrison's goals, he came out of nowhere practically, just poofed in like a ghost and wiped the floor with everyone. He really just needed a good guiding hand. No one is quite sure what gender he is, his androgynous appearance and tendency to respond to anything besides being called a girl have people baffled to say the least. He's very clearly not all there in the head either which goes hand in hand with his odd bursts of ego and then odd bursts of whining, these bursts often include talks that could only be described as cult-ish. People have their theories. Beyond those bursts, hes mostly very deadpan and quiet. But despite his strength and that intense feeling of fear and dread people get when they're around him, he's.. popular, somehow. Admired greatly for his devilish good looks. A universal appeal if you will. He doesn't seem to notice. Or perhaps doesnt care. Either way he's far too busy following Shiro around and treating him like the second coming of god to really indulge in romance for now. Lance's self proclaimed rival, Keith is also unaware of this. | also sorry in advance for this one if you follow sonder's storyline Lance McClain | A former Garrison cargo pilot who moved up in rank when Keith got kicked out. Keith is his rival and also all that Lance can talk about, even after the guy got kicked out and left for dead (Lance overheard some things while sneaking out past the teacher's lounge). He has a very noticable personality and loves to be the center of attention, hes still finding his footing and figuring out what he wants to do with his life and who he wants to be. Despite his many claims, hes not all that popular. He can't really flirt with girls all too well. His general goal is to be so well known so he won't ever be forgotten, hence why he begged his mom to let him dye his hair and get piercings (if he used Keith as an argument, thats none of your business.) (he saw keith dying his hair once or twice and instantly wanted to copy, its a bad habit.). He loves LOVES taking care of his appearance and is fairly vain, he has extensive routines and will freak out if he can't follow them. His ego and overbearing confidence is all to drown out his deep insecurities and fears. He tries his best to come across as a suave, cool, charming, awesome, any positive adjective really, person but in all reality he's a mama's boy, a dork, a loser if you will who has a love for the retro and is a huge gamer. If he must admit, he and Keith'd get along great actually, Keith ticks alot of boxes and honestly Lance deeply admires him and wants to be like him. | dreamworks dropped that lance was a gamer and loved retro stuff and then never talked about it again. sigh. Hunk Garrett | Hunk has many passions, mainly inspired by parents, he mainly specializes in cooking and mechanics, he enjoys tinkering with things, taking them apart to see how they work and working from there to see if he can rebuild it with 0 instruction, hes gotten good at it. He's Lance's childhood best friend, they're extremely close and are often seen constantly poking fun at eachother. Its all in good fun though. Hunk struggles extremely with anxiety and has a service dog back home that he left at home when heading to the Garrison as he worried he couldn't take care of it while studying. Despite his anxiety, he quite enjoys talking to people and sharing things he enjoys with them, he often tries to get over his fears by branching out and | I looked up his name from the old show because he deserves an 'actual' name, free my boy, he was done so dirty, also i remember when we all thought hunk had two moms (or was that just me ..) and i live by it tbh, two moms and a dad whos still active in his life, 3 whole parents for the greatest fella ever
Pidge Holt | Not much can be said about Pidge, they keep to themselves and don't share much about themselves. Just like Keith, their gender is often up to debate and when asked, Pidge will never give a consistent answer. They're a major tech wiz and with their talents, they're a complete menace. Pidge is prone to being mischevious and pranking others, often taking jokes a bit too far. They're egotistical and find that robots are their preferred companions in comparison to humans. | loser chronically online 13 year old who would tell you to kys, matt probably has to take away their electronics all the time LMFAO purposely made their outfit look a bit strange bc , theyre a kid whos a NERD /aff let them dress a bit stupid and let them cringe at it 5 years later ty
No notes version and PNGS below :-)
im insane about this reboot!! please reblog and im willing to elaborate if anyone wants me to <333 hrgfhrfg i really want this to take off bwaa
#Allura#Takashi Shirogane#Keith Kogane#Lance McClain#Hunk Garrett#Voltron#VLD#voltron: sonder#firealpaca#au#reaperproject#theres cult themes#and ghosts#and powers!#that moment when ur rival revives you after you die and then you come back real fucking weird#keith MIGHT be the devil
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ok no i need to bitch because i have remained positive and hopeful throughout most of !!-era because i believed that happyele loved their characters and wouldnt deliberately go out of their way to butcher them but time and time again i have been proven wrong on this fact. and seeing the way theyre doubling down on having ibuki, a ryukyuan kid from okinawa, join a traditional "wa" japanese unit that embraces mainland japan traditions when the mainland has continuously tried to make okinawa theirs and disregard the ryukyuan identity WHILE ALSO LITERALLY HAVING EICHI COLONIZE OKINAWA IN ATLANTIS its all just becoming too much. I am no expert when it comes to these topics so do not take my word when it comes to jp culture, conflict and the likes, but knowing how poorly happyele has continuously time and time again treated their indigenous (or middle eastern in adonis's case) cast i cannot see this going well. Not to mention how having ibuki join akatsuki goes against everything the three of them have built up and the whole POINT of their unit and that for them to even fucking put this garbage in the story they had to make keito PAINFULLY ooc to pull it off because NO OTHER REALITY WOULD ALLOW IT!!!!! theyre taking akatsukis developments and throwing it out the window in an attempt to make them something "new" and more profitable while also using a beloved group that so many have spent so much of their time loving and supporting into nothing but a scapegoat for their imperialist propaganda im so unbelievably angry that theyre doubling down on this. im so angry that theyre stupid enough to let shit like this pass
and im sure youve probably read posts explaining the aktk thing better than i ever couldve, esp considering im not an aktkP, but im also writing this to tell the fans of big units to Stop Giving In. do not feel safe just because happyele is scared of losing you, because I used to be an undeadP before getting into switch and the reason i STOPPED producing them was because they viewed the unit as nothing but a money-maker machine and would completely disregard their developments for the sake of feeding into tropes that fans liked and they cared more about yaoibait than they did the characters themselves. They tossed out any growth rei and ritsu had in opperetta for the sake of bringing back sakuma brothers conflict in that painfully annoying la mort story and theyre gonna keep doing this shit until fans tire of it. valkyrie, eden and knights are three super popular units with upcoming events, and i seriously need you to not give happyele any of your time or money because they do not deserve it.
even with switch, a rather unpopular unit, theres been total garbage pulled. in switchs case i think its safe to say that akira does genuinely really care for natsume and tsumugis relationship considering thats basically all that man even includes in his switch stories, but he never really knows what to do with sora. And i feel like he doesnt really care. Like sure i can sit here and be like "well at least MY favs seem to be doing alright" but thats purely because they keep spoon-feeding us crumbs of the units popular ships so we wont complain. i still really like their dynamic and i strongly disagree with alot of fans saying natsume and tsumugi have been OOC lately, but like. Look at sora man. i dont mind him having a little gf in the virtual world, i dont mind him growing more independent, i dont mind him relying less on his synesthesia. but the executions are just. Theyre painful. with the synesthesia thing esp bc synesthesia doesnt just go away. You couldve easily made a simple point of "you cant always rely on your synesthesia to know how people feel" because that is TRUE! but that would de-fetishize this idea these people have of synesthesia being some Magical Ability and not just a neurological condition. And with the sora being more independent; this is also something thats been needed for his story! natsume and tsumugi would often coddle him way too much, and sora himself would complain about being treated as a kid. But like. sora has started to feel so disconnected from switch in a way.....? and this has even been a point of conflict in stories, sora not knowing how to partake in ntmgs conversations because theyre too difficult, or being sad that ntmg never have time to hang out with him. But instead of working on these things, they just. keep having sora hang out with people outside of natsume and tsumugi? who have practically become a package deal at this point?? literally having sora join a NEW UNIT without natsume or tsumugi????????? i dont know. im rambling but i just wanted to get this out there. Theyre my specialest guys in the whole entire world and i just want to make people more cautious of thinking "well the aktk thing wouldnt happen to MY fav unit! they wouldnt butcher MY favs!" because they very much can. even if theres an aspect youre still hooked on, other factors are visibly crumbling because management cares only about what will bring the most revenue, and not what is best for the character
i cant help but feel the reason theyre pulling this shit with akatsuki is because they felt as though they somewhat got away with it with Double Face and raked in some extra cash because kohaku ended up popular, so now theyre doing that again but taking it to the next extreme. its disheartening
anyway. i will continue to draw and enjoy ensemble stars. But i wont be supporting them financially anymore as they clearly do not care about fans at all. if i desperately want some merch ill just buy it second-hand. And while im at it, i need you people to stop telling enstarries to get into some other idol franchise instead as if the main problem here isnt how disgustingly predatory they are. Happy Elements were THE biggest joseimuke franchise, making the most money out of all their competitors, and it still wasnt enough. they still didnt respect their fans. when the fans would continuously respect their wishes. Enstars is like the only fandom ive seen that doesnt share leaks for example, yet this courtesy means nothing to them. Corporations arent your friends, never have been and never will be. those characters arent real, they do not have feelings of their own. They were all written by someone to serve a purpose, and this includes ibuki being an indigenous kid joining the wa japanese culture unit. To use this popularity to spread so much fucking bigotry and hatred is heartbreaking. And to blame the fans for being upset over it????????????? youre disgusting happyele.
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chapter 11.
wc: 1.7k words
another rock was thrown in the lake as you sighed. “i cant believe he did that to me, and i cant believe they hid that from me!”
keeho rubbed your back and listened to you quietly, knowing that all you needed at that moment was someone to listen to you. “he couldve talked to me! he knows im a good listener! it shouldnt need to end up like this…” you looked at your hands that were resting on your lap while your fingers were playing with the little rocks you were holding. you let out a frustrated sigh and looked at the lake that reflected the moons light. “ah, i dont know,” you threw a rock far away in the lake. the rock jumping a few times before finally leaving your eyesight as it fell down into the water.
“wanna know the worst part?” you chuckled bitterly and didnt even give keeho time to answer, you were already talking again. “i love him way too much to even say that i hate him or wish him the worst. id probably break up with him either way… i just didnt want things to end like this.”
“youd break up with him either way?”
“keeho, i love chan too much to let him keep me by his side after i become a burden for him. ive already met him when he had his dream of becoming an idol clear as day, how would i let him give up on his dream just for the sake of a relationship? he can get over me, but he cant get over his dream,” you said as you looked at keeho with so much sadness in your eyes. you knew that what you were saying was the most rational and right thing to think, say, and do, but deep down, your heart is broken, and you are screaming to have chan back deep inside.
“so, you want my opinion on this, or do you want me to just listen to you?”
“no, you can speak up.”
“first of all, you have all the right to be mad and upset at him, yeri and sieun, but you have to understand their sides as well. about sieun and yeri, they knew about this, but should they really tell you? some people would say yes, some people would say they did the right thing because this is between you and chan and they found out without wanting to. chan didnt tell them, he has no clue that they know,” keeho took a rock out of your hands and threw it in the lake. “now, about chan… he was an asshole, yes. he shouldve never treated you like that. but hes torn between you or his career, and that shows how much he loves you, dont you agree? imagine having someone loving you so much to the point of not knowing if they should choose you or pursue the dream they have had since they were a little kid.”
listening to keeho’s words made your eyes tear up and your lips tremble. he was right, chan loves you that much. “i think you should listen to what he has to say, but not right now. do that when youre feeling ready, okay? and dont be mad at sieun and yeri, they did what they thought was the best for you, and by sieuns message she was feeling really bad from hiding that from you, and you know how yeri is, i bet she was feeling bad as well.”
keeho patted your back and gave you a small and reassuring smile. you studied his face, and you saw nothing but love and empathy in his eyes, not a single hint of pity. he didnt pity you for being lied to and having to break up with the love of your life, he never once pitied you, and thats one of the countless reasons that you love about keeho. he loves you for who you are and always showed you how theres no one better to be your best friend but him.
you closed the distance between you by pulling him into a tight hug. the way he hugged you back immediately made you finally break down into tears.
you knew that even if it hurt and it would take a while to heal from this, everything would be fine because you have the best friendship ever and because you were making the right choice for the guy you romantically love more than anything.
the ride home just wasnt silent because keeho knows how to crack a joke and light up your mood. a part of you was almost forgetting about chan for the moment until your eyes landed on him sitting on the ground outside your house. the boy who was looking down at his own feet immediately looked up when he heard your laugh—your laugh that died once you noticed him—and felt his heart beat faster. he stood up while you stayed still with keeho beside you.
“do you want me to tell him to go away?” keehos question came out as a whisper. its not easy to tell that keeho adores chan, but he would fight him if you asked him to. even tho youre older than him, keeho thinks that he has to protect you just like an older brother would protect his little sister. “no, its fine. you should go tho.. see you at school, and thank you for today.”
keeho nodded and pat your shoulder before glancing at chan and flashing him a smile as he walked away, leaving you and chan alone.
“what are you doing here and how long were you waiting for me?” you made your way to the front door while taking your keys out of your pocket. “i wanted to talk... if youre up to, of course. ive been waiting not for much time,” chan lied. he went to your house a few minutes after you left with keeho. “when i came i saw that the lights of your room were off and supposed you were out. i didnt want to bother your parents by asking for you and waiting inside in case you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“what do you even want to talk about, chan?” your voice showed a hint of frustration, which didnt go unnoticed by chan, making him frown a little bit. “i want to apologize, yn. i shouldnt have acted like that, i recognize my mistake. i dont know what i was thinking… i was under do much pressure yesterday and- and…” his eyes started to be filled with tears, and his voice started to crack, he was trying his best to hold back his tears, but was failing miserably. “and i love you so much, i dont want this to be the end. i just dont know what to do. im so sorry.”
chan started to cry for real, sobs coming out from his mouth as he fell on his knees and looked up at you with a hopeless and extremely hurt expression. “i was supposed to show you every single day how much i love you and never be the reason of your worries, insecurities, and tears from sadness or anger. gosh-“ he choked on his own sob before continuing. “im so sorry. i dont know what to do. this is killing me.”
it was impossible to see that sight of him and not start to cry as well. it hurt you more seeing him like that than the whole situation itself that led you to this. “chan… stand up, please.” he shook his head and stayed on his knees. he tried to speak, but his sobs interrupted him, and his voice didnt even need to threaten him to fail, it was already a fact that if he tried to speak, his voice wouldnt go out. chan’s throat was tensioned, it was like there was something huge and painful stuck in it, and that feeling was more than agonizing.
you took a few steps closer to him and gently wrapped your arms around his head, which made him instantly lean into your touch and hug your hips as he mumbled countless im sorry against the beginning of your thigh.
you let him be as you waited for him to calm down and took the opportunity to calm down as well, trying your best to stop crying and ease the pain in your chest.
“i… i know why you were acting like that. its better for us to break up, chan.” as soon as the words came out of your lips, chan immediately looked at you. his expression showing a hint of shock, confusion, and horror. “w-what? how..? why?”
“dont ask me how, just be aware that i know the reason,” you sighed, ran your fingers through your hair, bit your lower lip, and looked at chan while he slowly started to stand up. “this is your dream, chan. why would you throw that away?”
“because you also became my dream, yn! i mean- fuck! im so in love with you, ever since we started dating, my dream is to see you walking down the aisle in your wedding dress and saying yes to me! i want you and you only! dont do this to me, dont do this to us.”
you clenched your fist. why is he making everything more complicated? all you wanted to do was kiss him until you lost your breath, but you couldnt. you had to stay strong and not back down.
“dont make this difficult. the decision has been made, chan. i dont want to keep in this relationship anymore. you should go after your real dream, not your little fantasy.”
“yn, please-“
“enough, chan,” you cut him off. “stop embarrassing yourself and go home.”
you opened the front door and went inside without even glancing at chan. you knew that if you looked at him one more time, youd give up, and you couldnt risk.
once the door was closed, all your walls were destroyed. you sat down on the floor with your head in your hands and started to cry as hard as possible, even losing your breath.
on the other side of the door, there was chan staring at it with no expression or thoughts. he had cried so much before that there were no tears left to cry, he just stayed there staring at the door for a few minutes before slowly turning around and making his way to his house with his heart broken.
if humans had seven hearts, chan was sure that all of his seven heart would be absolutely destroyed
HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS
yn and chan date since their freshman year and are truly high school sweethearts, but will chan’s dream of becoming an idol get between their relationship?
masterlist — prev — next
taglist: @ivehypnosis @wonkierideul @ateez-atiny380 @noircheols @222brainrot @odxrilove @vixensss @starshuas
#seventeen x reader#seventeen imagines#svt imagines#svt fanfic#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x you#lee chan fanfic#chan fanfic#chan scenarios#lee chan#lee chan smau#lee chan fic#lee chan scenarios#chan smau#svt chan#svt fic#dino x reader#dino fanfic#svt dino#dino smau#seventeen smau#svt smau#lee chan imagines#chan imagines#chan fic
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Hello again dearest! I hope you’ve been doing well and that life has been treating you kindly ♡
With my second and third Uni midterms looming over me, I would like to request Yan! Izana, Ran, & Shin with a foreign darling~ One who is an international university student in Japan on a student visa
And if it’s not too long, I’d like a follow up of their darling taking them to visit their home country for the holidays since the Yan’s can’t bear to be apart from their darling especially when they would be overseas alone without them ♡♡
I've actually had foreign japanese students at my old school and uni though we weren't' close wish i couldve interacted more and maybe learned something from them hah
TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, BABY TRAPPING, SCUM BAG BEHAVIOR
Yandere! Izana Kurokawa
He was attracted to you right away, not even romantically or physically, just having been of mixed decent and then seeing someone who might relate to his own experiences interested him.
Became very romantically interested after a few interactions however, you had such a fresh perspective as a foreigner and some of the things he's had to live through seemed to resonate with you.
"Your step-mom was straightup evil. No kid should have to go through that, and I hope your kingdom is as beautiful as you make it out to be."
Hooked for life right away. And also distraught at the thought of you leaving, would constantly try to convince you to get a citizenship and just live here forever with him.
"Why even go back if I'm here?" Is one thousand percent serious, you've become such a huge part of his entire being so it must be the same for you right?
When you convince him to come with you on holiday home to meet your family though, something changes. You don't have to stay in Japan, you just have to stay with him.
As long as you're together than everything will work out. It wasn't like you could so much as leave his place without him being glued to your hip, good luck getting out of the country without him tagging along.
Yandere! Ran Haitani
He is sooo enamored by you. Fetishizing people because of their race is so goddamn gross but the fact that you're foreign definitely is what attracts him to you to begin with.
Ran is so toxic with it to. Calls you exotic like its some kind of compliment, tells you you're accent is soooo cute when you're doing your best to sound natural, makes fun of you for every mispronunciation.
But you don't know anyone in Japan and he's 6'1 so you put up with it. He's just so tall and pretty and he knows all the best spots in roppongi so of course you choose to suck it up.
Afterall, its not like it's forever. He's just your heavy and hot fling that you can go home and brag to your friends about, right? Wrong. He's sprung bitch and you're stuck with him.
"Hey, when are we going to your neck of the woods for this holiday?" "...We?" "Ya, I gotta pack and get my ticket soon, right?"
Hope you're ready to disappoint your folks now that you're bringing home this freak show. Don't forget his dream is to become a foreign celebrity so he wants to experience it all when he visits with you.
"Man, this trip is so much fun. I can't wait for next year."
Yandere!Shinichiro Sano
Worships you. He can't spit game for shit, but thankfully you don't understand him too well to begin with. It's a match made in heaven!
He doesn't make fun of you when you get your words wrong or fumble a sentence, but he does think its so cute. Shinichiro doesn't try to infantilize you but it does come off like that.
God the fact that you want him and you stick with him even though he's such a dork makes him love you so much, he doesn't even think he deserves you.
Hates it when you go home the first time. He can't even talk to you on the phone because of service issues, and trust me this dude was ready to take out loans for collect call just to hear your voice.
Bombards you with all kinds of questions like "Who did you see? Who were you with? Are you going back!?"
So my big headcanon is that he's a baby trapper. So when you talk about going next season he's already trying to figure out how knock you up.
Ends up fucking you with busted condoms (he poked holes) a few weeks before your trip because he needed to give you a VERY good reason to come back.
Just tells you "It's cause I'm going to miss you so much baby, I gotta get as much of you as I can. :)"
You end up surprising him with a ticket for him to come with you. He honestly could cry tears of joy, but he'll save it for when you discover his own little surprise.
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ihihi a bit unsure if your requests are open (I don't think I've read that they're closed? But it couldve been an oversight on my part iiii dunno) but if they are, could I rq sfw prompt #5 w/ Denji (´▽`*)?
ok so technically my prompts are closed cuz I don't have that much time to write but it's Denji i can't say no to him😳 i loved writing this hihi hope you like it♡
5– helping you cope with period cramps
"Denji— hurry up please"
Your voice was weak, barely above a pained whine, piercing through the silence of your apartment. The blond shut the entrance door, hastly discarding his shoes in the hallway. "I'm coming right away, Y/N. Hang in there"
You've always warned your boyfriend about how bad your periods could get, but he was lucky enough not to see you at your worst during the few months you've been dating. Well, not until now. When you texted him earlier that day to cancel your date because of your cramps he knew he had to help somehow.
So here he was, stumbling into your bedroom with a handful of boxes of sweets, sodas and a cat plushie. Denji's face dropped when he saw you curled up under the futon, your face scrunched up in pain as you struggled to breathe. "Hey, pretty, how are you?" he asked softly, placing the gifts he carried on the mattress next to you– chocolate truffles, biscuits dipped in vanilla cream, soft cookies, canned cake and cherry flavoured fizzy drinks.
"I didn't know what would help so I got all your favourites" he smiled shyly, pushing the pile of treats closer to you "And I hope you like the cat. The label says it's called Pusheen so... it was pretty cute. I thought you could hold it when you sleep when I'm not here."
God, he was so sweet. Although you've been dating for a while now, Denji was still nervous around you. He wanted everything to be perfect, more than anything, he wanted you to be happy and well; and knowing that there was no actual way for him to magically cure your cramps left him helpless. He babbled on and on about making you tea, running you a hot bath– should you even take a bath? he offered to go and buy more sweets, or maybe give you a massage? It could help. You felt your heart swell at his heartfelt words.
Reaching a hand out towards him, you ran your thumb over his thig, making Denji visibly tense up under your touch. His brown eyes peered down at you "Just come cuddle me, okay?" you smiled and he complied. The air in the room felt cold against your skin as he lifted the blanket and nestled himself next to you. You moved closer to him, hooking your leg over his thigh to pull yourself flush against him and Denji hugged your waist. His deft fingers slipped past the hem of your tshirt and rested on your lower back. Your skin felt warm, almost feverish as he started massaging your back. "Is this okay?" he hummed contently and you nodded, letting out a deep exhale.
The newfound closeness managed to soothe your pain a little– the comfort of his embrace, his warmth, that sweet, syrupy scent of his made it all better. Hell, you were oddly grateful your cramps were so bad this month. If they weren't, you wouldn't get to hold him like this. Lifting your head up from the crook of his neck, you trailed your lips along his jaw before pressing a quick kiss to the corner of his lips. Your boyfriend pouted, totally unsatisfied with the halfass kiss he got and you couldn't hold in your laughter. Sweet, he was so sweet.
So you kissed him again, your lips lingering above his as a content smile etched itself on your features "Thank you, Denji. It's perfect" And it was. He was the best boyfriend you could ever ask for.
#𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑#chainsaw man#csm#csm x reader#denji my beloved#csm denji#chainsaw man denji#denji x reader#chainsaw man x reader#denji#csm fluff
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FONTAINE SPOILERS
OK so on one hand whyyyy did Childe have to be unconscious I wanted to see him react to Skirk but on the other
Skirk treating Childe like he's the exact same dumbass 14 year old he was when she last saw him, yeeting him one handed through the portal, referring to him exclusively as "My disciple" and having to stop herself and rephrase when she realised she claimed Childe wouldn't try to fight the whale 😭. She knows him so well and i will fight you if you claim she doesn't care cause of the weak comment, he's just her dumb weak murder gremlin babey.
Also HE FOUGHT THE WHALE FOR A MONTH NON STOP WITHOUT HIS VISION SIR ARE YOU OKAY?!?!
Please Skirk is cracking me up. Also i still wish we couldve had battle hardned Skirk but I do like the transparent galaxy glass look on her limbs. Also hoyo why did Childe just get shipped off at the end, come on let me have one conversation with him please :')
#genshin impact#genshin impact fatui#childe#fontaine#fontaine spoilers#genshin spoilers#spoilers#genshin skirk#skirk#ALSO FOUL LEGACY LORE DROP HELLS YEAH#me looking forlornly at the descender/gnosis lore: dottore wouldve loved that goddamn#ALSO ARLECCHINO PLEASE MARRY ME THIS INSTANT I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO DOWN BAD AND WE WERE SPOILED WITH HER I LOVE HER SO MUCH
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Part 18: i'm anything but tame
"Don't tell me it's not fair. Believe me, I've been there. Bittersweet my renegade and I'm anything but tame. Oh, I hate to tell you this way. VIllians aren't born, darlin' we're made." -Villians Aren't Born (They're Made) by PEGGY
Regent masterlist Mundane Macabre Part 17 AO3
Council of Uncaged Birds group chat [User Pharaoh has changed group name to Summon the Fraid Council] Summon the Fraid Council group chat Pharaoh-Tech: Phantom giw left AP InfiniteStarPrince: but thats good??? Queen_Regent: Where did they go?
Dame_Asphodel: Phar tracked them far as NJ but the green says they are close to you. Pharaoh-Tech: did some digging the bomb = not giw InfiniteStarPrince: yeah no gross ecto Queen_Regent: too subtle, not the usual guns blazing style. InfiniteStarPrince: Oh. Dame_Asphodel: Why Regent then? Queen_Regent: Who knows Phantom and I outside our night lives? Pharaoh-Tech: will dig more oracle tried 2 hack me Queen_Regent: Did you make contact? Dame_Asphodel: isnt Oracle a bat ally? Pharaoh-Tech: probably back hacked some files theres a file on Regent InfiniteStarPrince: why would BBB not have 1 on her??? Dame_Asphodel: BBB? Queen_Regent: Big Bad Bat. Batman. InfiniteStarPrince: yeah why wouldnt he have 1 on a meta Queen_Regent: he thinks is one Pharaoh-Tech: it has UR REAL NAMEE Queen_Regent: I told him. InfiniteStarPrince: yeah, R let me know Dame_Asphodel: why? Pharaoh-Tech: u kidding i worried for nothing?!?! Queen_Regent: I’m dating Red Hood Dame_Asphodel: What happened to Jason? InfiniteStarPrince: him too Pharaoh-Tech: wat???? InfiniteStarPrince: R met his family 2 Pharaoh-Tech: hol up !?!?!?! u tellin me RH = JT?? Queen_Regent: Can’t confirm or deny Pharaoh-Tech: imma lay down head hurts Dame_Asphodel: That does make me think R Queen_Regent: that one of RH’s enemies tried to kill two birds with one bomb InfiniteStarPrince: oh snap plot twist Dame_Asphodel: who though? Queen_Regent: RH is a crime lord Dame_Asphodel: who took on black mask Queen_Regent: I don’t want to do anything without proof
InfiniteStarPrince: black mask? Dame_Asphodel: crime lord got ass kicked by RH literally has a black mask as a face InfiniteStarPrince: so looking for one (1) ugly bastard Queen_Regent: evidence first. can’t execute mortal with zero InfiniteStarPrince: realm laws suck Dame_Asphodel: yet you’re still gonna be king sucks to suck Queen_Regent: For now i’ll ask RH for info he’s mad about the bomb worried I couldve been hurt InfiniteStarPrince: gross Dame_Asphodel: and after? Queen_Regent: well we’ll cross that bridge when we get there Dame_Asphodel: I think you mean burn it Queen_Regent: whatever comes first
GothicDame and JazzHands chat
GothicDame: does he treat you well? JazzHands: very
GothicDame: good always need more fertilizer JazzHands: Never change
If she was anyone else, Ellie walking through Jason’s apartment door with a dirty shovel over her shoulder while whistling a jaunty tune would have raised some concerns for the older Nightingale. Jazz decided to settle for fond exasperation over annoyance at her little sister’s literal (albeit forewarned) shovel talk, even though the aforementioned shovel was suspiciously covered in bloody dirt.
However, any annoyance died and went to the realms when Ellie stood face to chest with Jason, one hand on her hip, shovel still over her shoulder and gave him a once-over. A four-foot-six teen standing off against her six-foot even boyfriend should not be allowed to be so comedic.
“So, you’re the-“
“Red Hood.”
“I was gonna say undead weenie, but that works too I guess.”
It was just so ridiculous that Jazz couldn’t help but laugh at the two. Jason and Ellie spared her confused looks at her laughter, but didn’t comment as Danny entered the apartment as well, only he had an ecto smoothie in one hand and a bucket of popcorn in the other. The future Ghost King didn’t seem all that concerned about the scene he walked into, only pausing long enough to ask-
“Did I miss anything?”
[I'm so glad to post a new part to the Regent! If you weren't aware, this also now lives on AO3.]
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc au#dc x dp crossover#jazz fenton#regent!jazz#hardcover ship#jason todd#anger management ship#jazz x jason#ellie nightingale#danny is a little shit#ellie is a little shit#danny nightingale
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taking this out of tags RIGHT NOW
tags by @navy-leader
this. makes me go fucking insane. continuing
im still going fucking insane about my last tags
there's NO possible way of victim not seeing something that was streamed on alans channel and respectively streamed in the outernet. its canon that avm original was streamed there. even if it wasnt every episode of avam it is still there. victim lives there and knows what outernet has (and most likely knows about oranges and cg existence. not their powers but existence from at least an avm original episode)
and given that vic learned about chosen and that he was wanted. that victim KNEW about their existence and chased after them. that he had seen something that made him realize that chosen inherently had ties with alan??
one of my thoughts is that only specific stuff is accessible to outernet in canon. maybe not even the whole content of vids. (though the avm original was sixteen minutes and in "the king" it is seen that the video streamed is also sixteen minutes) which could explain how victim only knew a small bit of stuff and didnt just see the a bit of a whole thirty minute willingly and went "well thats all i gotta know about it".
its likely victim accessed chosen(and possibly dark) videos streamed and connected the dots by recognizing alan, similar methods of torturing chosen and the interface of alans pc.
(since its canon victims torture is on youtube and possibly chosens its kinda fucked if they accessed it as well. which perhaps made them even more vengeful)
thought. was showdown something that was streamed or something that was uploaded on youtube? at least the beginning of it?? and victim knew only bits of it???. it could be possible that victim knew about chosen&dark place of living and darks technology. from just bits of information and his company couldve investigated it? but ultimately didnt find chosen nor dark there. and therefore placed a damn bounty on chosen. and they mightve used leftover darks technology there for their own shit. victim knowing about darks tech and possibly small pieces of the showdown could also be explained that he didnt seem to mind the events taken before yellow coded the cursor into the outernet when going through chosens memory. but it does make me think whether victim knew that the cg went back to the pc and therefore didnt place wanted posters of them ??? did he know about darks death and therefore didnt place wanted posters of dark?? wouldnt he try any means to find how to get to alan? is it possible that only the cursor and tscs awakening parts of the showdown video were erased and vic, again, wanted to see more to it (i had a thought that he couldve known what is up with the showdown due to having surveillance technology but im doubting it because chosen and dark lived really secludedly from the city).
but in case the showdown was somewhat seen? by other sticks? and vic couldve known about darks and chosen terror shit from other sticks/a news outlet? oh my god i just realized something
so theres a comic about me wondering how did sticks treat chosens&dark terror in the internet and possibly outernet too. that dark blasted a whole fucking beam in the sky near the stickcity and it wasnt unable to be seen. could victim see that???? could he connect the dots that it was hollowheads power??
the rocket logo. dude. i JUST THOUGHT about it yesterday. and it made so much sense to me
my possible thought was. that victim did escape alanspc through the ip/pc sky. somewhat. in one way or another. and it was the reason why a rocket was picked as the corporations logo.
a rocket is something that is able to literally fly to the sky. to access the higher parts of the world. the ip/sky part of it that had a wormhole to alan in it. the person victim chased after.
and given that rocketcorp specializes on tech. another reason to it besides victims knowledge and ability to use it before and deciding to bring it into the outernet and devote a whole company to it. a rocket is literally something that is made of technology. and since they had to chose a logo that symbolizes tech
victim chose something that represented his goal.
fucking insane about it
i basically treat it as a base for my theories that victim established/reformed a corporation that used internet technologies he himself brought into the outernet (in one way or another). but his company is widely known as a regular tech company that produces all different kinds of it. including domestic stuff like tvs and surveillance cameras and also weapons. but due to technology and digital stuff literally forming the internet and outernet itself they also act as some force in the outernet that upkeeps and protects its citizens. since theyre the only ones with that kind of power
and all these projects that cover many areas of technology that are made by them are used to cover their shady underground shit like. the box and torture and victims true goal (which i believe he could be secret about even to his mercs and colleagues)
and that the point of victim bringing internet technology there. his whole plan of revenge.
it is done in order to protect his kind from something that he experienced. giving them a mean to defend themselves. ESPECIALLY after knowing cursors of users can be manifested in the outernet and damage sticks.
and he is the kind to be ruthless about it if it means creating safety. something he lacked.
(violence and oppression cant be solved with peaceful talks kind of mentality)
im fucking INSANE about this right NOW.
also. another thought
giving the possibility that victim "fell down" from the ip/sky. him providing the internet with basically "divine power" that regular kind of outernet sticks didnt have. him trying to protect outernet sticks from danger and death.
makes the interpretation of victim with angelic/halo symbolism in the fandom so much more sense. and so fucking amazing. oh my god i NEED to make something about this idea.
tom you opened a whole different dimension to my thinking and it fills in the holes ive thought about. im going to be so fucking insane and annoying about this.
pinning this. im
(go to tags here if you want to see my another idea of victim that is so fucking. mind changing to me)
#animator vs animation#alan becker#animation vs minecraft#animation vs animator#ava victim#prev rb#ava theory#ava theories#ava headcanons#avm headcanons#avm theories#storgesinsaneramblings#another thought.#that the reason victim draws is that he had seen that he is able to literally bring things to life. that alan is able to do that.#that the adobe program can do that#he wanted to try and see if he can do it in the outernet.#he wanted to try and see if he is able to do something that will replace his lack of power.#which makes it SO much more upsetting#and that another possible reason for bringing internet and pc technology to the outernet#is that he wanted to have the possibility to do these things again#to have something to make up for his weakness.#and. seeing tsc. that can create life everywhere from scratch. wields an OBJECT from the pc that gives them power#makes it so. so. so fucking tragic.#that they have it. but he doesn't#and the fact that.#orange stood in the victims figure in animation vs youtube#makes them being parallels. two sides of one coin. the one who had a decent life on a pc and the one who didnt#makes it SO FUCKING INSANE.
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JUST US
Miguel o’hara
summary; both oblivious to each others feelings, you both fuck around with other people to try and forget each other, but it never works.
warnings; mentions of sex but no smut? sexual references miscommunication, swearing, miguel and reader being oblivious, fem reader, angst w happy ending
it was difficult for miguel, watching you with that bright smile on your face, the way your whole face lit up as you danced around the room, hanging up christmas decorations, laughing at jokes others threw your way.
he wanted to be the one making you laugh.
he didn’t even notice the slight smile on his face as he stood in the doorway watching you, everyone else noticed though.
“miggy!” you say excitedly as you pause in front of him, “wanna decorate the christmas tree with me” you say, the cutest smile on your face, he feels his stomach knot.
it hurts him so much.
he pictures what it would be like for you and him to decorate your christmas in your very own home, drinking hot coco, watching christmas movies, cuddle on the couch. he wants to give you the world. he would do anything to have you in his arms, just once.
but he is a runner, these things scare him, and seeing how much control you have over him, scares him, and you have no idea. everytime you mention another guy, or going on a date with someone, miguel instantly assumes you’ve fucked them, and it kills.
he wants to be the one taking you out on dates, treating you as well as you deserve, giving you the world and more, everything, he wants to give you everything.
but if you were interested in miguel, you wouldve made a move by now.
you were so oblivious to his feelings for you, missing how he only smiled when you were around, how his tone got softer if you were in the room, making sure HQ had all your favourite things, and was fit to your standard
he never did that for anybody else, how could you miss it.
he assumed you just weren’t interested.
“sorry darling, i have a date” he said softly, wishing the date was with you, if you asked him once more he would cancel the date instantly, and spend all day decorating the damn tree with you.
he doesn’t even like christmas.
if he looked hard enough, he wouldve seen your face fall for a second, couldve noticed the million thoughts running through your head, but he missed it, and your smile remained.
“oh! thats okay miggy, have a good time” you say, hand now fidgeting with your necklace. he smiles at you.
you two were friends, best friends, ever since you came to the HQ miguel just had a soft spot for you, you were like an angel.
and then that soft spot turned into love.
miguel loved you, there was no doubt. he loved you so much it had begin to physically hurt him, he did have a date, that was true, but not a romantic sort of date. a quick fuck date, one where he hoped he would be distracted from all his thoughts of you, though it never worked, he would keep trying.
he wanted it to be you.
there was a sort of gut wrenching pain, hearing miguel call you darling then say he was going on a date with someone else, a million thoughts ran through your head, was this a new person or maybe an old one.
you new he fucked every girl he went on a date with, a new girl each week, you knew that because he always came back with different energies, and hickeys in different spots.
one girl covered him in them, he didn’t like that, the next left a few on his chest, he didn’t like that either, and the one after that left a few on his neck, and a few on his collarbone, he never seemed to like it.
but you had a conversation with him about hickey’s before, he said he liked them, he liked giving them and liked receiving them, maybe these girls just didn’t have the right placement.
you wanted to love miguel, you do love miguel. and you wouldve taken a chance and asked him out, if you didn’t know how every date went.
he would take them out, fancy restaurant, then fuck them, and ditch them.
and you loved miguel too much to just be used.
maybe he had a thing with commitment, a issue maybe, he was scared of it, or just couldn’t handle not being able to sleep with multiple women.
you refused to be used by miguel, not when you loved him with everything you have.
the next day, you saw a cute christmas sweater on your desk, with a smile you throw it on over your head, seeing others walking around with them on.
“i ordered them in, figured we could all match, but miguel doesn’t seem to think he wants to, can you talk to him?” lyla says, when she sees you, you frown, and nod. “yeah- yeah of course”
walking to miguels office scared you, you wondered where the hickeys would be placed today, if he liked them, you wondered if maybe this girl was different, maybe she was exactly what he wanted.
knocking on the door, you hear a grunt, then a come in, you walk in, plastering a smile on your face. “hi miggy” you say.
he smiles at the sight of you, the christmas sweater was a bit too big, handing down to your mid thigh. “hey darling,” he says, sitting up straighter in his chair.
“youre not matching with us?” you say, tilting your head as you sit on the other side of him, placing your elbows on the desk, holding your face.
“its not my kind of thing” he says. you pout, “come on miggy, its cute, match with me” you say, smiling.
he sighs, christmas always meant wearing whatever you pleased, miguel, obviously chose grey sweatpants and a black compression shirt, making you squeeze your thighs together, but you stayed quiet.
“yeah- okay” he says, turning around to pull off his shirt, you watch his back tense with a smile, as he pulls the christmas sweater over his head. “see miggy! its cute” you study him, unable to find any hickeys
“no hickeys today?” you say softly, “what happened” you asked, knowing it would probably leave you more hurt then you already are.
“i fucked up, and she left” miguel shrugged. he didn’t seem to bothered by it. you hate the fact it makes you happy. “what did you do?” you ask softly, tilting your head.
“said someone elses name” he runs a hand over his face, your jaw drops, as you laugh softly. but it wasn’t genuine, he was thinking of someone else.
“oh that would fucking suck” you say softly, with a smile, he shrugged, “its okay, hey are you coming to the christmas party tonight?” he asks, he hoped you were since he arranged it just for you.
you giggle, “of course i am”
“good ill see you there”
miguel was now clenching the drink in his hand, watching you talk to some guy, some guy that wasn’t him. he hated it. all he wanted was you, even if it was just for one night, he would happily be discarded by you if it meant having you at all.
you refused to be discarded by miguel, you didn’t want to be one of his one night stands, fuck then dumps, you wanted to love him.
miguel was standing outside on the balcony when you came out, “hi migs” you mutter, walking towards him. you looked gorgeous. perfect like always.
“hey baby” he says, cracking his neck softly, as he looks down at you, your stomach flipped at the name, but you assumed he was drunk.
this was unfair, on you and the girl he was thinking about, he thought about her enough to say her name while fucking somebody else, yet he was standing here calling you baby.
your smile dampens, and he notices. “hey hey whats up?” he says, grabbing your chin softly to make you look at him. “nothing, i think im just tired” you say.
miguel holds eye contact with you, heart pounding in his chest. “need me to take you home?” he asks softly, knowing you didn’t have a ride. you smile, “if thats okay- you don’t have to i don’t wanna ruin your night if your having a good time”
miguel shakes his head, “never, come on” he says grabbing your hand leading you to his car.
theres a lot of tension in the car, your not sure why, miguel keeps looking over at you, and you’re always looking at him. his hand is on your knee, this doesn’t feel like a just friends thing.
he reaches your house, and pauses looking at you. “you sure you’re alright?” he asks softly. you nod, looking into his eyes, theres a lot of tension, you don’t reply. “whos name did you say” you ask softly.
“what?”
“you said someone elses name, fucking that chick last night, whos name was it, whos name did you say miguel”
“it doesn’t matter” he says, shaking his head, looking down at you.
“it does”
“baby-“ you can’t help it, you lean over smashing your lips into his, he is shocked at first, wondering if this was real, or if it was all in his head, but he kisses back, seizing the opportunity, never knowing if it’ll happen again.
he can taste you, vanilla and cherries, so so so sweet against his lips, he wonders if he is in heaven.
he groans, pulling you over the centre console to sit on his lap, your hands are now in his hair as one of his is on your back, pulling you closer, the other on the back of your neck.
its messy, passionate but messy, you roll your hips against him, subconsciously, causing him to groan loudly against your lips.
“baby” he says softly, in between kissing you. “mm” you hum in response, caught in the moment, maybe being used by miguel would be okay.
“yours” he says, pulling away. “what?” you ask confused, “your name, i said your name.” he admits quietly. you pause, in shock.
“you said my name- you were thinking of me?” you ask. he scoffs, “of course i was all i ever do is think of you, all the time, everyday, its always you, i can’t get you out of my head” he says.
you pause. “i- i don’t want to be another girl you fuck then leave” you say, “i- i can’t do it, not when i love you so much” you say, pushing your hands to his chest as you open the car door, climbing out.
he is in shock by your confession, it jabs him in the heart — all the sleeping around he did to forget you, didn’t work, yet it scared you into the idea that you would just be a quick fuck to him.
“no- what no listen to me” he says undoing his seatbelt as he gets up to follow you. “miguel i think its best if you leave- i can’t do this, im sorry but i cant be used by you” you say.
“you aren’t!!” he said, grabbing ur hand pulling you to look at him. “you- fuck, i dont sleep with women to fuck and leave them- i mean thats what ive been doing but i do it to try and forget you, to try to forget the way my heart leaps out of my fucking chest everytime you touch me, to forget the sound of your voice, to forget your cute smile, and pretty hair, i do it all to try and forget how much i love you, and how everytime i am with these women, i want it to be you, i want to be the one to take you out on those cute dates, i want you to be the one i am seeing everyday, i want you to be the one giving me hickeys where everybody can see them, and i hate when other women do it, cause they try to mark me as theres, but im yours. im only yours i want to be yours”
by the end of his rant, miguel is out of breath, everything he had been holding in had come pouring out, standing in the street with nothing but the dim street lamp as a source of light, and how you looked so pretty standing under the yellow.
“i love you” he says, chest heaving, “i love you and i want to love you” he says, you squeeze his hand gently, he knew you were shocked, he knew how you would need a moment to process this, and he knew that you squeezing his hand was to tell him you heard it all, and you were listening, you just needed to process.
he knew you.
he loved you.
“i love you, miguel” you finally say, “i love you, and i want to show you i love you, i want to do all the stupid cringey couple things with you, i want everyone to know how much i love you, i want the yuck feeling in my stomach to go away everytime i hear you mention some other girl, i want to love you” you say, holding his hand to your chest as you hold eye contact with him.
“no one else, no other girls, just us, me and you, just us” he says.
“just us”
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