#he wanted to try and see if he can do it in the outernet.

[storgicdealer]

taking this out of tags RIGHT NOW

tags by @navy-leader

this. makes me go fucking insane. continuing

im still going fucking insane about my last tags

there's NO possible way of victim not seeing something that was streamed on alans channel and respectively streamed in the outernet. its canon that avm original was streamed there. even if it wasnt every episode of avam it is still there. victim lives there and knows what outernet has (and most likely knows about oranges and cg existence. not their powers but existence from at least an avm original episode)

and given that vic learned about chosen and that he was wanted. that victim KNEW about their existence and chased after them. that he had seen something that made him realize that chosen inherently had ties with alan??

one of my thoughts is that only specific stuff is accessible to outernet in canon. maybe not even the whole content of vids. (though the avm original was sixteen minutes and in "the king" it is seen that the video streamed is also sixteen minutes) which could explain how victim only knew a small bit of stuff and didnt just see the a bit of a whole thirty minute willingly and went "well thats all i gotta know about it".

its likely victim accessed chosen(and possibly dark) videos streamed and connected the dots by recognizing alan, similar methods of torturing chosen and the interface of alans pc.

(since its canon victims torture is on youtube and possibly chosens its kinda fucked if they accessed it as well. which perhaps made them even more vengeful)

thought. was showdown something that was streamed or something that was uploaded on youtube? at least the beginning of it?? and victim knew only bits of it???. it could be possible that victim knew about chosen&dark place of living and darks technology. from just bits of information and his company couldve investigated it? but ultimately didnt find chosen nor dark there. and therefore placed a damn bounty on chosen. and they mightve used leftover darks technology there for their own shit. victim knowing about darks tech and possibly small pieces of the showdown could also be explained that he didnt seem to mind the events taken before yellow coded the cursor into the outernet when going through chosens memory. but it does make me think whether victim knew that the cg went back to the pc and therefore didnt place wanted posters of them ??? did he know about darks death and therefore didnt place wanted posters of dark?? wouldnt he try any means to find how to get to alan? is it possible that only the cursor and tscs awakening parts of the showdown video were erased and vic, again, wanted to see more to it (i had a thought that he couldve known what is up with the showdown due to having surveillance technology but im doubting it because chosen and dark lived really secludedly from the city).

but in case the showdown was somewhat seen? by other sticks? and vic couldve known about darks and chosen terror shit from other sticks/a news outlet? oh my god i just realized something

so theres a comic about me wondering how did sticks treat chosens&dark terror in the internet and possibly outernet too. that dark blasted a whole fucking beam in the sky near the stickcity and it wasnt unable to be seen. could victim see that???? could he connect the dots that it was hollowheads power??

the rocket logo. dude. i JUST THOUGHT about it yesterday. and it made so much sense to me

my possible thought was. that victim did escape alanspc through the ip/pc sky. somewhat. in one way or another. and it was the reason why a rocket was picked as the corporations logo.

a rocket is something that is able to literally fly to the sky. to access the higher parts of the world. the ip/sky part of it that had a wormhole to alan in it. the person victim chased after.

and given that rocketcorp specializes on tech. another reason to it besides victims knowledge and ability to use it before and deciding to bring it into the outernet and devote a whole company to it. a rocket is literally something that is made of technology. and since they had to chose a logo that symbolizes tech

victim chose something that represented his goal.

fucking insane about it

i basically treat it as a base for my theories that victim established/reformed a corporation that used internet technologies he himself brought into the outernet (in one way or another). but his company is widely known as a regular tech company that produces all different kinds of it. including domestic stuff like tvs and surveillance cameras and also weapons. but due to technology and digital stuff literally forming the internet and outernet itself they also act as some force in the outernet that upkeeps and protects its citizens. since theyre the only ones with that kind of power

and all these projects that cover many areas of technology that are made by them are used to cover their shady underground shit like. the box and torture and victims true goal (which i believe he could be secret about even to his mercs and colleagues)

and that the point of victim bringing internet technology there. his whole plan of revenge.

it is done in order to protect his kind from something that he experienced. giving them a mean to defend themselves. ESPECIALLY after knowing cursors of users can be manifested in the outernet and damage sticks.

and he is the kind to be ruthless about it if it means creating safety. something he lacked.

(violence and oppression cant be solved with peaceful talks kind of mentality)

im fucking INSANE about this right NOW.

also. another thought

giving the possibility that victim "fell down" from the ip/sky. him providing the internet with basically "divine power" that regular kind of outernet sticks didnt have. him trying to protect outernet sticks from danger and death.

makes the interpretation of victim with angelic/halo symbolism in the fandom so much more sense. and so fucking amazing. oh my god i NEED to make something about this idea.

tom you opened a whole different dimension to my thinking and it fills in the holes ive thought about. im going to be so fucking insane and annoying about this.

pinning this. im

(go to tags here if you want to see my another idea of victim that is so fucking. mind changing to me)

[illmoraineakoi]

Oh I just had a nasty AU idea.

AvA4, but Alan uses Avast to stop Orange. The scan is interrupted when Orange goes to the phone, but it detects him after he returns to the computer. He’s captured.

And enslaved. As a pop up blocker.

Just like Chosen was.

He’s horrified, at first, when he’s first brought out of the chest and sees the ball and chain on his leg. He tries to free himself, trying everything he can think of for weeks. Nothing works. So he looses hope, and gives up, performing his “purpose” as best he can to avoid the punishments (both from the Animator and Avast itself.) Orange becomes very quiet and reserved, and very depressed, a shadow of the person he was meant to be.

(Orange’s powers are revealed very early, here, because Avast unlocks them a little bit and forces him to use them to destroy the pop ups. Orange hadn’t known he had them until the first pop up appears and Avast takes control, making him destroy it. Afterwards, he spends a lot of time dwelling on ‘what if I had used my powers to protect my friends? Would they still be alive then…?’)

And he’s stuck like that. Until the Virabot incident. Until Chosen arrives.

When Chosen sees Orange, with a shackle around his ankle, he is ENRAGED.

He’d escaped his own enslavement, only for his Creator to turn around and make another stick to enslave and torment. Make a replacement. The destruction of his computer had done nothing to deter Noogai from making and hurting stick figures.

Worse, Chosen hadn’t even known.

The guilt makes Chosen feel awful. He considers it a personal failure, blames himself for not even considering that Noogai might make another stick to replace him. He feels like he should have, because he saw how nonchalant Noogai was with making new sticks with Dark.

Despite the fact that he just saved the computer from the Virabot, Chosen flies into a rage and starts raining destruction upon the computer. He is easily able to lay waste to literally everything, while Noogai is helpless to do anything. Or perhaps Alan tries shutting down the computer to restore his cursor and start menu. Maybe he also tries using Avast again, something that pisses Chosen off even more. Chosen takes particular satisfaction in ripping Avast to shreds.

Or maybe Avast forces Orange to attack and fight Chosen. And Orange, for the first time in a long while, resists. Fights back against the program’s control. It’s a struggle. He desperately begs Chosen to help him, insists he doesn’t want to do what Avast is forcing him to do, apologizes whenever he looses control. The sight hurts Chosen’s heart, and he redoubles his efforts to destroy Avast and free Orange.

He’s eventually successful, and he gets Orange out via the internet connection. And then he destroys the computer again, sending Noogai a nasty message: “If you create more stick figures, I will find a way to end your existence permanently. You have been warned.”

Chosen leaves, returning to the Outernet to deal with Dark. A fight that goes down much quicker and easier, since Orange has access to his powers and is very quick to help the stick who just saved him. Or perhaps the two of them together manage to back Dark into a corner where he’s forced to surrender to save his skin.

Regardless of if Dark is killed, Chosen takes in Orange, and is the one to slowly rehabilitate him. To introduce him to life on the Outernet, to teach him how to live like he himself had to once figure out. It’s painful, seeing so many of his own issues mirrored in his younger brother. It’s clear the enslavement has deeply affected him, just as it had Chosen.

Chosen is horrified when he learns just how long Orange was there. Four years. Not as long as his own, but that was still over half the duration he and Dark had been living in the Outernet. Such a long time for Chosen to have been completely oblivious to his existence.

He is also upset when Orange tells him Noogai deleted his friends.

Orange, for his part, is never quite able to let go and move on from Alan’s abuse. Bitter resentment boils in the depths of his heart, a desire to hurt him for killing his friends that never goes away. A part of him secretly approves of the Virabot that had been sent to the Animator in vengeance, despite knowing of the greater danger the virus posed to the greater internet. He wants vengeance, and it’s not long before the desire completely takes over his life. It becomes the only thing he can focus on, the only thing he cares about.

He doesn’t tell Chosen. It’s clear to him that Chosen would not approve of him starting a quest for vengeance. And he’s right, because they have an argument when Chosen discovers his feelings.

But Orange thinks that Chosen doesn’t understand, because Chosen never had friends that were killed. Chosen never experienced the updated enslavement features of Avast. Chosen didn’t understand that it wasn’t so easy for Orange to just get over it.

But Orange finds someone who does understand. Someone who’s desire for making the Animator pay aligns so very neatly with his own. Someone who welcomes him to join him with open arms and a sharp smile.

Chosen may be content to just move on and forget, but Orange and Victim are very much not.

[A fact made even more bittersweet because the Fighting Sticks aren’t dead. They respawned on their webpage immediately after being deleted. They waited for Orange to come back, but he never did. So they decided to leave, to go look for him. They’ve been searching for him for years, never giving up hope that he’s still out there, somewhere. They aren’t aware that the happy bright-eyed stick full of curiosity and life that they met that day doesn’t exist anymore. He’s become something that they would hardly recognize.]

Just…Villain Orange. Delicious.

[alan-in-the-outernet]

Alright! Here we go!

So! For this au, meet our main cast :3 And there's.. so many rambles under the cut

This au starts out with, well... two major divergences. First, Chosen and Dark don't become terrorists- they become thieves. Tend to break into companies- or pose as potential new employees and then, well, dip when they find something they want. And sometime after Alan makes Second... something goes wrong and pulls him into the Outernet. But he's not transformed into a stick- nor does he stay a human.. he's transformed purely into code. Very hard for him to think clearly, too many inputs at once.

…Until a company opposing Rocket Corp uh, finds him and captures him……Decides to try and use him for power, because he gives off a LOT. So for awhile he's basically their battery

…Until they drain too much.. and his form shrinks and some thought returns- sticks- those are sticks- and his form… contorts.. code shifting....And then he's a purple hollowhead.. doesn't remember being THAT thing.. confusing the company....But they try to act casual around him.. curious if he's sentient.. it's annoying to lose their battery but they still wanna study this- but the poor guys freaking out because to him it feels like he JUST got there

They manage to calm him down and there's no sign of.. that for awhile.. they even offer him a job- …Until about a month later, when he starts suddenly shaking.. gripping at his head while on the job and.. that comes out again.. freaking out.. So they drain it.. until it's him again

And they sorta figure out the intervals on draining him, and that he doesn't seem to remember, so they keep him around as an employee, answer his questions about the world(assuming he doesn't know because of being.. THAT thing, and he doesn't mention what he really is.) So he has no idea they're kinda.. using him as a power source.

Until eventually.. Dark and Chosen enter the picture.

..Abd they meet ol' Alan, who kinda intrigues em. That's another Hollowhead. While Alan is having a moment. And trying to not outwardly appear to be having a moment. Since he recognizes them.

Thankfully for him they assume his stuttery nervousness is just… his personality, given he tends to do that a lot around the place Amuses Dark a tiny bit, really. Like come on. Who stutters that much??

And they're intrigued about the whole place, mostly wanting tech.. but kinda befriend Alan- thinking either they can use him because he seems so nervous he might just give if they ask something, and also because they haven't seen any hollowheads besides themselves- and hearing of one other co-founder but they haven't hit Rocket Corp yet

Until they're there the day that… the 'creature' get's drained.. don't see Alan turn but.. haven't seen him all day.. watching through the windows into a large white room with a bunch of machines connected to the wall.. all draining purple energy from this large creature that is kept to the floor with odd rings around it's form.. as it cries out and thrashes..

..They don't make any connection to Alan.. but Dark get's excited. Sure, it'd be a bit hard to steal something that big, but.. it's CLEARLY getting smaller as it's drained.. so he drags Chosen away, ranting about how if they could steal that and keep it drained and at a smaller size- they might not have power problems EVER. And there's so much they could possibly learn studying it! Dark's practically giddy

So.. they ask around a bit.. learn that it get's drained from once a month.. learn the date.. and they prepare.

[i3utterflyeffect]

Chat my ear off, do it :gun:

going to assume this is abt the au i've been mentioning lol

so basically i do think that if King found Vic first (which is admittedly a little while back i'd imagine, you don't really just immediately become head of a company that kills animators and artists in a year-long span or whatever) it would have gone very differently.

like, let's say that Vic crash-landed in the outernet about a year--maybe 2-- before king sees the avm short, assuming that it was playing around the time of its release. which is apparently 8-9 years ago. ridiculous btw why is time allowed to pass like that.

obv when King sees this ill-adjusted hollowhead who probably barely even talks, considering their situation, and who also looks like they're stressed out by the mere presence of their surroundings he's not exactly going to leave them there to go through whatever the hell they'd go through out here

which it's also worth mentioning that the most infamous hollowheads are-- again-- Chosen and Dark, which would not be great for Vic when starting out since a lot of people would have suspicions about them based off of that

so basically King just takes them in and lets them stay in his house while they kind of just get adjusted to life in the outernet

when the original AVM happens and King puts up a wanted poster, Vic notices SC and decides they need to talk to whoever this stranger is, so they tell King that they'll help him since they both have something they can earn from finding these people. ofc they still need Purple's help to find them so it's basically just. bonus child

it would make it a little longer and victim WOULD still threaten people probably and also try to wreak a little more havoc on Alan's computer but mostly the same with a little more Silly Antics

[thevalleyoftriumph]

"He'll apologize after he's done here. Make it up to them somehow later, have a long talk with them about this." Assuming Dark did not execute cg/ they weren't there/ SOMETHING idk, and Dark was able to patch a very beaten and unconscious Chosen up and drag them back to the house, how would that conversation go? Would Beast take one look at Dark and attack him? Even if Killer or Chosen want to try diplomacy? Would They (one of the alters) wake up, realise their still in the house with the guy who is stronger than them and has harmed them, and book it? If so would Dark follow? Or let them leave Would they wake up to a note? Would one of them rip it up before the others have a chance to see it? Would they TRY diplomacy, only for the argument to immediately resume Theres so many possibilities, none of which can happen since Dark was blasted to kingdom come, BUT we can imagine for a moment

Oh man the convo would go so horribly so badly. Like let's be so honest Dark is the worst person to have a genuine and emotional conversation with he does NOT know what he's doing he's almost worse than Chosen 😭

I've never actually thought about this particular scenario before [as in it's actually like.. never crossed my mind somehow] so I can't really say for absolute certain what would happen, BUT . Let's indulge.

I think you're pretty right that if it were Beast still in front when they wake up, it'd probably immediately assume it was still in danger and attack Dark - that, or it'd absolutely book it the first chance it got, since it's not really looking for a repeat of the Virabot part of that whole thing. Sometimes it's just gotta do what's safest, and that doesn't always mean fighting back - sometimes it means retreat.

I think Chosen would still have some sort of faith in Dark and would like to stay and hear him out - and Killer by extension would, too, in a way. But both would be extremely hurt by everything and can be just as stubborn as Dark when they want to be, so it'd be pretty hard for them to not end up cutting him off a bunch to put their points in.

I think however, aside from Beast, Killer would also probably think about leaving. Maybe not forever, but definitely long enough to go sit outside and think about things for a while. They'd probably slip out when Dark is busy and he just comes back to them gone and briefly freaks out lol.

Honestly I'm certain the argument would just start back up eventually unless something changed REALLY fast you're totally right about that. These guys are sooo bad at emotions and Talking Things Out that it's almost comical if it wasn't borderline depressing.

HOWEVER ☝️ I think even during another argument, for Both of them their fight would just constantly be lingering in their minds - especially through Any Other Future Argument, the thought always rears itself back around. They're cautious of their actions, both of them - neither wants to get close during an argument anymore. If, say, Chosen instinctively tries to get closer - he stops, pulls back, then continues with what he was saying. It would do neither of them good if it got physical again, in fact thats the last thing EITHER of them want, so they do everything physically possible to remove even the possibility of an accident if they end up disagreeing about ANYTHING. No matter how small.

IDK THERES JUST SO MANY WAYS THIS COULD GO AND COULD EFFECT THEM ALL IF THEY DON'T HAVE THE TIME POST-SHOWDOWN TO HEAL FROM THEIR ISSUES. They love each other dearly and are each others best friend but they're also both so so so badly traumatized people and need a therapist SO much. So badly. Alas there's no therapists in the Outernet who work with cybercriminals who had a hand in nearly destroying their world unfortunately. 😔

[adudelolwriting]

true hate's kiss for chodark mayhaps????? please????? i think it'd be hilarious?????

-✨

oh my GODS this one started kicking my ass at the end . its OKAYYY i dont think its the best but whatever they cant all be winners am i right chat (sitcom laughing) . anyways here you go sparkle anon, hope you enjoy !! (ask game here)

~~~~~~~~~~

Dark had a curse. 

Chosen knew this — the curse was to take Chosen's life. Chosen knew the risk of saving Dark, and then helping her. Chosen knew that, one day, the curse, the mission code, would act up, and Chosen would have to fight. 

So, the two fought. Dark always apologized once she snapped out of it (typically after getting the shit knocked out of her), and Chosen always was there to help dress her wounds. 

But… as the years went on, and as they retired, or settled down, or whatever you called it, Dark just got more and more antsy. Secretive. 

Dark revealed his plan on a regular Wednesday afternoon. "We can take revenge, Chosen! We can finally make Him hurt, like He hurt you!"

"...No. You don't want this, Dark. I don't want this."

"But I did this for you! We can attack the Cursor that hurt you!" Dark gestured to the massive laser machine in front of her.

Chosen shook Chosen's head. "No. We're done with this, with hurting sticks, remember? We agreed."

"But He's not a stick!" 

"No." Chosen's arms crossed, and Dark looked pissed. "I did this for you!" He repeated, and then he dove for the button. Chosen leaped to him, grabbing him and pulling him away from the button. The two fought, anger burning through Chosen.

How dare she, try and do this? Who does she think she is, trying to do this to them?

Dark wiggled out of Chosen's grasp, and hit the button. What looked like a nuke launched into the sky, breaking through the Outernet's sky and into an IP — One that Chosen knew too well. Before Chosen could think properly, Chosen blasted Dark through the wall in the house, and flew after the bomb. 

Chosen had to spend a few days on Alan's PC. The… Virabots hurt Chosen — much more than Chosen thought they could have. Deep, long wounds were littered on Chosen's body, and something was preventing Chosen from healing as quickly as Chosen should. 

Alan had some new sticks, apparently. Another hollowhead, named The Second Coming (of Chosen?), and a few regular sticks that looked like they came from Stick City, but more brighter. Noogai3 didn't tell them anything, because of course He wouldn't, but after just one look from Second, Noogai caved and told them everything.

Chosen has been spending most of Chosen's time in a weird, strangely blocky house on the PC. Noogia couldn't see Chosen from the inside, so it was better, even if He promised not to hurt Chosen and had apologized to Chosen.

But the thing was, Noogia shouldn't have to apologize, because He should have never done that to Chosen. The stick was bitter and spiteful towards the cursor. Chosen hated him. But there were also sticks here. 

(Innocent sticks that nearly died because of Dark's revenge. Revenge Chosen never wanted.)

Chosen wasn't healing. 

Yes, the bleeding stopped, but the wounds themselves would not heal. Blue, who was apparently the second oldest behind Second aerself, had put an IV into Chosen's arm as Chosen's presents turned the first level of this building into a makeshift infirmary. The kid explained that it's from a game, and it's supposed to help healing.

Chosen was grateful for these children helping Chosen. Tensions seemed tense — Chosen hopes it wasn't always like this, but who knows with Noogia. 

The past few days, they talked to Chosen. A lot. It seems they've never been off the PC before, and were curious about Chosen's life. Chosen willingly told them the non criminal things, mostly what Chosen did in retirement. 

Currently, Chosen was chatting to Blue, who was checking on Chosen's wounds, when a loud crash came from outside of the building. Chosen flinched — Chosen still wasn't used to all the noise the kids made — before screams rang through the room. Both Chosen and Blue froze. 

Blue rushed out, telling Chosen to stay where Chosen was. Rolling Chosen's eyes, the IV gets ripped out of Chosen's arm (Ow.) before Chosen walks out of the building.

"Dark?!" Chosen shouted, seeing the bright red stick flying in the air with flames surrounding her fists. "What the fuck?"

Dark, upon seeing the stick figure, dropped to the ground, charging at Chosen. Chosen let out an "oomph", unable to defend against Dark's attacks. Dark never really hurt Chosen before — not physically, not leaving welts or cuts or bruises. But the Virabots left every cut and scratch and scar on Chosen's body. 

The kids screamed in the background, trying to pull Dark off of Chosen, but it was no use. Dark was cursed. 

Dark was cursed, and Chosen was tired. Chosen was just able to keep Chosen's arms up, shielding Chosen's face. After a moment of debate, Chosen grabbed Dark's face. It startled her, as her face was pulled down, and Chosen kissed her. "I'm sorry," Chosen muttered, and Dark stayed still, frozen. "I'm sorry that I could never help you."

"I… what?" Dark asked, blinking his eyes. They… they were normal again. Not full of ones or zeros that overtook his eyes when the mission code took over his body. "Why…" Dark's voice trailed off, a hand reaching to his lips.

[kattanimates]

Breaks down comically large door.

NEW ANIMATOR VS. ANIMATION THEORY FOR Y'ALL!

So, you know the mercenaries for Vic's team, yeah? Well this is how I think Victim knows them.

At the end of Victim's Origins video, he makes a bunch of clones, copies of himself. My theory is that they were created to DISTRACT Alan while he got out of Adobe and went into Alan's computer.

After Alan closed the program and left. Probably to go to bed or something. Victim went around into his saved files. Finding a bunch of animations.

Alan has mentioned that he uses to do Pixel animation, like flipnote style. And the caveman style one does look a lot like a rough animation (that was Inspired by cave man drawings.)

So I'm thinking that Victim got into the files, and collected the mercenaries and gathered them all up. The five of them proceed to pull a Chosen One and while Alan is away, escape into the Outernet.

Here, in the Outernet, Vic and his new group of friends set out to try to find Chosen, and Second. Since they know how to get to Alan the best. So they can get revenge on Alan for cursing them and tormenting them.

Also, I think that Victim is jealous of Chosen, considering him to be someone who doesn't deserve all the power he was gifted with. This is another reason why he captured him first, instead of the color gang first, someone Alan has clearly shown favoritism too. Because he wants to get payback on Chosen for stealing what could've been HIS. before trying to make sure Alan notices the problem at hand.

Anddd yeah! That's the theory! I might make something with this later.. we'll see, lol. (Edit: fixed some spelling mistakes, I did this at like, 11:30am on my phone while in the car)

[hi-imlilac]

My Little flower

this is a story in the view of Coral, turquoise and Victim of how they view Lilac. No images of it yet.

She's young, but she's determined. She's a fighter like her dad, but has a caring heart like mine. I'm proud of her. She always seems to try her best to be positive and reassuring. Forever humble and willing to sacrifice her own happiness for the happiness of others. I get worried about her sometimes, knowing she gets it from me and I tend to overdo it and hurt myself. I hope it's not the case with her. But aside from all of that, she grows stronger by the day both in her physical and emotional strength. It's sad to be honest. Seeing her grow up so well, only to lose her at the age of 6. I haven't seen her ever since those terrorists ugh. I'll never forgive those two. Nothing will ever be able to excuse what they've done. I lost my husband and only daughter in one day because of them. But I promise, my little flower, I will find you. And everything is going to be fine.

Damn... I don't know how to say just how proud and pained I am. Everything was going so well up until the attack. I failed to protect my wife and kid, hell, I couldn't even protect myself! Lilac didn't deserve that at all! She was 6! I should've tried harder to stay alive. Be there for a longer moment. I never wanted my last goodbye to her to hurt more than it had to! I should've tried harder. But even if I did, I would still die in the end. I just hope she's truly ready. I trained her to be a fighter and so did her mom. I can remember how she first fell into the outernet. She was hurt and alone because her friend pushed her but stayed behind. Watching her restrain herself from doing drastic things or using her powers was beyond painful and yet I was still proud of how she knew the importance of holding back. I know she hurt other kids, but justifiably. That miss Hazel wretch wasn't stopping it so she had to defend herself. I refuse to budge. She was defending herself. Now she's living with this guy named victim. Not gonna lie, seeing her with another father figure stung like lemon to an open wound. But she had to move on somehow and I respect that. But I don't trust him to be honest. I've seen things he's done. Him and his mercenaries who act like family to lilac but become these harsh and cruel people to other people. I'm actually worried about my daughter. But I can't do anything. Not yet at least. Oh lilac, my little flower. Please hang in there. I know I can't be in your life anymore, but I promise that everything will be fine.

It's been around two years I think. I remember how I found out about lilac through a news article. The original plan was just to get her help me build the box. Her powers had proven to be efficient. But when I actually saw her, something changed. Originally I was going to return her afterwards, but seeing that little troubled girl sitting in the corner of the room and isolating herself with an electric shield just clicked something in me. She was an outcast, nobody gave her a chance to live happily in this world. I couldn't help but feel like I know the feeling. I was also deprived of a normal life. I couldn't bring her back to that place. I managed to get her to open up to me and I learnt her history. I don't know how I did it but she warmed up to me after a bit. I adopted her. Even if she had already completed the task, I never took her to that place ever again. I learnt a lot about her through her last night vents and a few questions we asked to each other. To think of how one grew to fear fire so much because of two immature terrorists. I felt bad. But as we grew, we became quite fond of each other and started caring about each other quite a bit. I gave her a bracelet that helps with her powers, but at the cost of her sanity. I still regret it to this day. I'm genuinely proud of how resilient she is. Despite everything she went through and me casually putting her at risk, she has always been calm. But a while back an incident happened and nearly cost her life. I never knew just how much she meant to me until that moment. Despite agreeing that we aren't family, I couldn't help but worry. She was hurt and it was my fault. Heck, I should've done better to protect her. Thank god Armia and agent were there otherwise I would have broken down. Every time I think about that moment, it brings me to the thought of how agent said I would be a good dad. I know I'm not ready for that. Because I messed up and I put her life in danger. I'm sorry little flower, but I can't play that role in your life. Not yet. Forgive me.

[misstarsss]

Theories about AVA's new teaser

Well as we have all seen and for those who do not leave the link here https://youtube.com/shorts/t_E6pHNfyB4?feature=share

Spoiler alert, if you haven't seen the teaser yet I recommend that you go watch it before reading this and beforehand I mention that English is not my mother language.

At the beginning, he gives us a brief summary of everything that has happened in the previous AvA, and since this was perhaps months ago, then we are given the integration of a character we know.

victim.

(screenshot by @chorda-tendinea this person also talks about the victim theory in the teaser)

I have read several speculations about this and how he can be absolutely a victim but we must remember this. Victim cannot be the bad guy, since when Alan eliminated him in the first AvA and since it was the same computer that was broken/destroyed by The Dark Lord and The Chosen One, we also don't know if this same character can recover his memory, Because practically as much as Chosen and Victim are of the same design and both have different retrospectives, so the victim is a character with a blank memory or maybe he does have memory and will remember what Alan did before.

In the second scene we have chosen in the OUTERNET for those who don't know what the OUTERNET is (I think it's official? It appears in Wikipedia about AvA and AvM and others.) is a subspace in the Internet, where Internet stick figures come from and their home. This was the same location where the events of The Flashback and The Showdown happened. The Outernet and the Internet are separated by a grid-like barrier, with each cell leading to a specific device connected to the Internet through its IP address. This is where the real place outside the internet is revealed, and it takes place completely outside of Minecraft. We can see how Chosen looks lost and running from something or rather from someone since bullet casings or shots can be seen towards him.

Trying to run away from who is chasing him or rather who. Since it seems an association for the CherryBlossoms short that is given.

Also in the next part we can realize how TSC (The second coming) grabs a pencil and draws a line between them as if they were dividing them or had different opinions on a certain topic, maybe second didn't like something and I drew that line giving it a 'warning' I feel like it is.

In addition, as Chosen, he draws fire from his mouth as if he wanted to scare away something that is not there (here it is in the sense that the victim theory is more valid due to the spectral powers that people place on the victim) or incinerating projectiles that go towards he.

 we can see how second appears, looking for chosen but in the first fragment he looks lying on the ground and then goes to another stage and is in the sights of one of the hunters who shoots. Could second also be another objective of that corporation? Let's also take into account that all the adventures of the color gang all the OUTERNET has seen it (it occurs in a flashback of AvM episode 30) that they are known and it may also be that to get to that place the video of The shoutdown was presented, where the brief fight between The Dark Lord and The Chosen is shown One where they travel through the internet and among them is YouTube with the already published video of them fighting.

Finally, we are even given The chosen one glitched, we are given to understand that he goes to Alan for help, as a theory that is mentioned that the chosen one goes to where Alan to fix his code due to the thorns of the virabot that did not affect him before and that now affects him which would be something strange, it should also affect second but somehow he has an antivirus for his powers that heal him even so maybe this is because of the hunters.

Maybe these hunters have certain bullets that can affect the Hollow stickman because let's remember that they are different from the OUTERNET ones since in the past, they were basically tyrants of the entire internet, they could have some prevention for any type of super powerful Hollow who wants to attack OUTERNET or stickcity again.

There are theories that The Dark Lord is not dead, it may be a yes and no, in the final chapter of AvA practically The second coming destroys TDL, dragging him with his green laser beam towards a mountain that explodes. We have no evidence that one Hollow can kill another and only the creator of said Hollow can eliminate it. If the chance is that he is not dead, THE DARK LORD would not forgive THE CHOSEN ONE, why?

Basically he betrayed him, TDL is evil and was created to destroy TCO are impregnated in his code to destroy TCO or everything good, in theory TDL is a villain and TCO can be an antihero because he was willing to kill TDL so that not continue with his plans, they are both good and bad by their code, so if he were alive, it would practically be for revenge against TCO for betraying him and joining (what he believes) their common enemy, Alan Becker.

Another theory that I want to give is that, it would be obvious that Purple and King (mango) would appear since both are mainly in stickcity, that is, OUTERNET, it could be that both are important in the margin that they know the city, being of help to chosen or the color gang .

Although the crazy theories they have in the Bingo Card make me laugh, some of them may be true without us realizing it.

There are many more deeper theories and variety but I wanted to give a bit of my theory on all of this.

bye-bye!!

[stickkitty]

AvA/AvM Characters

The Characters Belong to Alan Becker. Under here is a mix of Canon, Headcanon, AU, and Fanon. This will be edited from time to time, so beware of changes! Some characters are technically my OCs: Amaryllis, Maroon, Ivory, Cali, and Coco. I give anyone permission to use these four characters as their own if they want to.

UPDATE on how this will work from now on: ALL charcters HCs will go here. That means this place may get big.

COLOR GANG:

CG = Color Gang and does NOT include Purple. SG = Stick Gang, which includes Purple. The fighting stickfigures have the same creator. They love to fight as a sport and hobby. They view each other as friends, not siblings.

"Orange" The Second Coming The Chosen One’s Return Becker: (They) (Woah long name :0) Would rather be called Orange to fit in with the CG. They are seen as the older sibling despite being the youngest.

They have Type 2 Narcolepsy. TSC can not get sick since they are an antivirus. Nobody can delete or kill TSC permanently. TSC is immortal and will live until the internet stops existing. They do not have a voicebank and uses (sometimes invisible) text to communicate.

[Real Creationday: Oct 2]

Green 103 Stickfighter: (He/She) Can sometimes have a big ego and would also try to act cool. He can be aggressive sometimes. He is a weeb (as in Anime Fan). He is the oldest of the CG. [Fake Creationday: January 12]

Red 103 Stickfighter: (He) He is a silly goofy goober. Red is energetic, extroverted, reckless, kindhearted, and can get carried away easily. He is small but strong. He goes to the Willcraft Monster School and is still friends with what used to be Yellow Team. Hates being called a baby or cute. He's the second youngest. His fangs come from the first Herobrine possession and the white eye came from the second (both characteristics are not my ideas). [Fake Creationday: July 16]

Yellow 103 Stickfighter: (They) They are nicknamed "Yelly" by Blue. They are calm most of the time. They are very curious to the point where it is extremely dangerous. They are "twins" with Blue (created on the same day). [Real (?) Creationday: March 30]

Blue 103 Stickfighter: (He/They/She) They are nicknamed "Bluey" by Yellow (No, not like the Australian dog). They're pretty chill most of the time. They are peaceful most of the time, hesitates to fight, and usually surrenders if fighting can be avoided. Unless they are fighting for fun. [Fake Creationday: March 30]

Other Characters (NOT Color Gang):

Purple Blossom Orchid Monarch: (She) Purple is named a common color name, because her dad, Cobalt, wanted her to be a stickfighter. Stickfighters are created with simple color names. She owns a kitty she named Petal (my sticksona). She's adopted by King. [Fake Birthday: March 19]

King Monarch: (He) He came from a game of a kingdom and he was the king. He went to the Outernet after his game was gone. This is inspired by him wearing a crown while Princess wore the silly glasses in The King episode. I interpreted this of him remembering his king days. He was good at being a tough and organized ruler when he became a king again in Minecraft because of past experience. [Fake Birthday: August 19]

Princess Monarch: (He/She) His soul is attached to Minecraft ever since the incident. In fact, he was the one who drew the chalk animations when his dad (King) got sucked into the white void. When the chalk drawing showed King hitting Princess, it is because destroying Minecraft was destroying Princess, since she and Minecraft are now the same thing. Gold is unable to see outside of Minecraft, so he can't visit King when he is not in the game. His ability to know when and which players join the game and in which server is useful, because then he always knows when King and/or CG is in the game. [Fake Birthday: April 5]

Queen Monarch: (She) She was the queen in a game while King was the king. She is Princess’s mother. She is trying to find Princess, but she doesn’t know where he went ever since the “incident” happened. [Fake Birthday: June 8]

“Cobalt” Blue 007 Stickfighter: (He) He came from sticksfight.com. He wanted to train Purple to be a stick fighter, but he went too far. [Fake Creationday: May 1]

Sakura Orchid: (She) I got nothing to say about her sorry. [Fake Birthday: February 22] Sister = Amaryllis Stripes Orchid. Mother = Pearl Orchid. Father = Rose Orchid.

The Chosen One Becker: (He) He is extremely introverted. He is not always serious and has a silly side to him (as seen in the episode "Wanted"). Doesn't know how to behave in society and is not exactly what you would think of a stick called "The Chosen One." [Real Creationday: November 4]

The Dark Lord: (She) She is extremely destructive and violent, but she has a heart. She is very extroverted. I cannot decide if I want to keep her dead or not. [Real Creationday: October 4]

Victim Victory: (Xe) Hates being called "Victim" because of trauma. Is nicknamed “Vicky/Vic.” [Real Creationday: June 3 - Same with the clones]

Mercenaries: Striker Smith (He), Ballista (They/He/She), Hazard (He), Primal (She/They/He/It)

Smoky Topaz (Corn dog Guy): (He/They) He works at a corndog stand. Friends with MTK

Brandy (Corn Dog Guy’s twin brother): (He/They) He has a wife named Cali Gold and a child named Coconut (nicknamed Coco). He owns a fast food company.

Reuben: It is the PIG! It gets a separate info thing because it deserves it and you can't change my mind. Reuben is Red's Pig. It is married with another pig named Ruby. The piglets are Rosie, Reuben Jr, and Rebecca. For now, they are just pigs. (Random Fun Fact: All Minecraft animal mobs are females! Or at least the same gender.)

Birthdays in Order (Mostly So I can Keep Track Easily):

Green, Sakura, Purple, Yellow + Blue, Gold, Cobalt, Victor, Fluorescence, Red, MT, Jade (my OC), Second, Dark, Chosen,

Oh and I'm last (Petal and Olive)

More Extra info:

TSC breaking into RYGB’s room made it separate from the main website and now RYGB are missing from the game.

Freedom, TCO, and TSC are Victim clones. There is a ghost Vic, but idk if they would be the original Victim or a clone (if they are a clone, then the canon Victim would be the original).

[illmoraineakoi]

This is one of the really interesting questions about the stick figures: how does age, or rather maturity, actually work for them?

As far as I can tell, there are three major types of sticks in canon: Artificial Animated Sticks [Alan's, and potentially other Animators too], Artificial Other Medium Sticks [ie: sticks from games or other types of art that were still created by humans, like the RGBY] and Natural Sticks [Sticks like Purple who were born via reproductive means]

Age between these types of sticks has to have wildly different meanings, as well as the rate of maturity.

Purple, a born stick, is shown to be a baby in his backstory. He's then shown to have grown, though over how long of a timespan is unknown. At best, we can speculate that this type of stick's lifecycle is somewhat similar to a human's: born as an infant that needs to be cared for, and then learning how to live, developing/maturing, as they grow up.

But Artificial Animated Sticks are CLEARLY different.

All four of Alan's sticks are very capable right after creation. They're already quite mentally developed. Victim and Orange especially are quite smart just minutes after their 'birth'. Like they're already at least a couple of years old, cognitively.

Not much has been revealed about other types of Artificial Sticks, but it's likely that they're similar to Animated Sticks in this regard. Perhaps their level of maturity is based on their Creator's intent for them, but without further info, it's difficult to speculate.

As far as I see it, there's two potential measurements of age one could apply to Artificial Sticks: mental age, and age based on their creation date.

Personally, I think that Orange, RGBY, and Chosen all have mental maturity ages equivalent to their creation age [10-12, and 17-18 respectively]. Dark and Victim, however, just feel different.

Dark has always seemed to be a lot more similar to Chosen's age than his 'true' age, and I think that it might be due to the manner of his creation. He was made to Chosen's equal in almost every way, his polar opposite that was designed to be able to destroy him. This intention may have factored in to how "old" Dark was at his time of creation; old enough to match Chosen's. So I feel like Dark is also around 17-18. Maybe 16, if we want to interpret his enthusiasm for showing off the ViraBot as a 'childish' action.

Victim's different. I think that he's a case of being "wiser beyond one's years", entirely due to how much crap he's potentially lived through. 17 years is already a long time for stick figures, but Victim had five extra years to do things that Chosen did not (due to the enslavement). This, combined with how intelligent Victim seems to be, gives off the impression that he's older than 18. More like 23-25. Older than his creation-based age, but still young enough to make reckless, foolish choices based in anger, like trying to get vengeance on his Creator. Undeniably smart and clever, but still a little naive and unable to comprehend the potential bigger picture or the consequences very well. Or perhaps he's just really ambitious and genuinely doesn't care about any of the risks/danger, just about satisfying his vendetta.

(It's possible that future revelations from AvA11 might change this interpretation, so this is all, currently, tentative and speculative despite my own headcanons lmao)

While not specifically important to anything, I also personally headcanon Yellow being the oldest of the RGBY, followed by Blue, Green, and finally Red, though it's more of how twins/triplets argue about who's technically oldest than any meaningful time difference. They were all created on the same day, just a a couple of dozen minutes apart. Orange is the youngest of them all, by at least a year.

Also, another factor that complicates the entire age thing is that we don't know exactly how long living stick figures have been around. We don't know when the Outernet was made, nor where the artificial life came from. It's possible that all of it, everything, only came into existence in the late 1990s/early 2000s. Or, perhaps digital life began around the same time the internet itself was created, which would be around 1983. That's not a lot of time, all things considered. If Natural Sticks age at similar rates to humans, there can't be many generations of them yet.

It' just a really fascinating and confusing part of the lore. It always hurts my brain trying to think about it.

Oh! Oh!

Genuine question for people who consider and accept Color Gang to be 10-12 years old because of their debut episode date(2014):

Do you also accept that Victim and The Chosen One are 18? And The Dark Lord is 14? Because Victim and TCO's videos were uploaded in 2006 and TDL's in 2010.

This is like a GENUINE question. I'm not making fun of you, I'm genuinely curious.

If not, why? I would like to know why Color Gang are special cases.

[fan-fantasies]

I’m Here

A/N: This takes place during IW but no real spoilers. Changes the story a bit but that’s all really. Hope you enjoy! -H

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Angst and fluff 

Warnings: Violence 

Masterlist   Marvel Masterlist

Italics are flashbacks

You watched as Steve paced around the conference room at the Wakandan palace trying to make a game plan to take on Thanos. You were all on edge while waiting for the grape of doom to storm the castle. None of you really knew how to fight him other than giving it your all on the battlefield. 

“Has anyone heard from Tony? Or Thor maybe?” He asked, answered only by sighs and mumbled no’s. You thought about where they could be, if they were even alive that is. You didn’t know much about Thanos other than he was ruthless and was trying to take over the universe. 

He actually made you miss Loki, who only had simple wishes to take over the world. Rather than taking over the world, he ended up taking your heart and crushing it. Your thoughts about the trickster drowned out Steve who was talking about the same strategies you had been over a hundred times. 

You met Loki back when he tried to take over Earth and you were tasked with guarding him in his cell. The two of you would argue back and forth about everything but it seemed almost lighthearted. 

The second time the two of you met was when he was bringing Odin to Earth. Dr.Strange had alerted you to his presence so you hunted him down until you found him saying goodbye to the unfamiliar old man. 

“Hello again, (Y/N),” he smirked when he saw you approaching him. “Miss me?” 

“I thought you were dead, yet here you are on my planet once again. You can see how that is a bit alarming, right?” You asked, your hand ready on your knife. 

“How about we get some of that coffee you love so much and we can catch up, darling?” He asked with a charming smile. 

And catch up you did. He spent a few weeks on Earth with you because time worked differently on Asgard. You had promised not to meddle in his business simply because Thor was already preoccupied with the infinity stones. 

So the two of you spent a lot of time together, getting to know the man beneath the god. You grew fond of him after the first week, and after the second you were completely smitten. 

“How would you like your eggs this morning, my dear? Scrambled or fertilized?” He asked, making you spit out your coffee. 

“What?!” You nearly yelled, a blush rushing to your cheeks. 

“I’m only kidding, darling. It’s a joke that I saw on that outernet thing you showed me,” he informed you as you tried to dry your mess. 

“You mean the internet, genius?” You snorted. He looked confused for a moment but nodded. “And scrambled is fine.” 

“The other offer still stands,” he winked before pecking your cheek on his way by. 

By the end of your time together you knew you had fallen in love with him. He claimed to share your feelings and the two of you promised to figure out how to make it work. It’s not like the two of you could text when he was gone and you couldn’t just leave earth...not that he offered to take you with him. 

That was the first red flag for you. You were expecting him to offer to whisk you away to Asgard, but he didn’t. You would have said no anyway, but you still would have liked the offer. 

The second red flag was how he never actually kissed you on the mouth. He would kiss your cheeks, forehead, and just about anywhere else, but never your lips. Even when you were saying your goodbyes, it was quick and almost emotionless. 

The next time you saw him he was with Thor. They were looking for Odin and you were one of the ones that knew where he was. When you saw him, you almost had a heart attack. 

“Loki? What are you doing here?” You asked, looking between him and Thor. 

“Lady (Y/N)! How good to see you!” Thor grinned as he enveloped you in a hug. 

“Hey, how ya doing, big guy?” You chuckled when he set you back down on the ground. 

“I’m good! We’re looking for Odin because Loki seems to have misplaced him,” he rolled his eyes when he motioned to his brother. 

“I didn’t misplace him, he just isn’t where I left him,” Loki mumbled. 

“Well, it has been quite a while since you left him,” you told him, not trying to hide your annoyed tone. 

“I know it has been,” he said quietly so only you could hear him. Thor was busy looking around to notice the two of you getting closer. Loki pressed a kiss to your forehead and you let out a breath that you felt like you had been holding in for the longest time. “I’ve missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” you whispered. 

“(Y/N), that Strange man said you would know where our father is. Is this true?” Thor asked, causing the two of you to jump apart. 

“Um yeah, I do actually. He’s in Norway,” you answered. 

“Can you take us there?” He asked. You nodded, not wanting to see Loki go. 

“You uh left your umbrella in the other room,” you cleared your throat, hoping he would go get it so you could talk to Loki again. Thor looked between the two of you, you looking hopeful and Loki looking nervous. He nodded and went into the other room, even though he didn’t have to. 

“It’s nice to see you again, darling,” he told you, placing his hands on your waist. 

“Why haven’t you been back?” You asked getting right to the point. 

“I’ve been busy...board meetings and security councils. I was the king, I had to make sure my people were taken care of,” he explained. 

“I see,” you sighed. “What’s going to happen now that Thor is back?” 

“I’m not sure. I guess we will have to wait and see,” he shrugged. 

“I seem to do a lot of waiting,” you mumbled. He went to say something else but Thor came back and interrupted. 

“Ready?” He asked the both of you. You nodded and put one hand on each of the gods. 

“I’ll see you later,” you told them. Before anyone could say anything else, you had teleported them to Norway. 

“Earth to (Y/N),” Nat snapped you out of your trance. You shook your head and looked around the room. Everyone was staring at you, Steve giving you a disappointed scowl. 

“As I was saying...we have to go and get ready. Get your weapons, make sure you know your job, and get in the right frame of mind,” he said, looking at you with the last one. You gave him an apologetic smile before getting up. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking about Loki, but you couldn’t help it. 

You went and grabbed your gear; a katana and your multiple other knives and daggers. It was a trait that you and Loki had bonded over. You were both skilled with knives and would often give each other pointers. Thinking of your knives brought back the memory of the last time that you saw him...

“We’ve had a perimeter alarm go off, we need to go now!” Sam yelled as he poked his head into your room. You quickly shook the thought from your head and ran after him, joining with the rest of your team. You took ships out to the battlefield and formed a giant wall of soldiers. If you were going to die, you were going to put up one hell of a fight.  

You all charged forward but instead of running you used your teleportation powers to transport yourself to the front lines. You threw the enemies off their rhythm and killed a fair amount. You tried to make sure your teammates were well taken care of as well as making sure to watch your own back. 

The more enemies you killed it seemed like twice as many would show up. You did your best to be everywhere at once but you got caught in a particularly nasty group of enemies. Your katana ripped through flesh and bone, daggers flying out in every direction, but they were gaining the upper hand. 

Just when you thought you were going to have to give up the fight, a flash of lightning appeared in the sky. Out of nowhere, Thor, Loki, a raccoon and a tree appeared. Wait... a raccoon and a tree?! You did a doubletake to make sure you weren’t just seeing things. You jumped over to them and started fighting alongside them. With the strength in your numbers, you quickly took out your section of bad guys. 

“We need to get to the forest! Thanos is headed that way!” Sam yelled as he flew overhead. Everyone started to follow him but before you could teleport Loki shouted your name. Before you could turn around, he threw a dagger past your head. You whipped around to see a dead body behind you, surely one that was going to kill you only moments before. 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, still jolted from seeing him and almost dying, only to have him save you. How ironic was it that the man that crushed you would be the one to save you. 

“Loki, is that you?” You whispered, wiping the sleep from your eyes. 

“It is, my love,” he smiled as he sat on the edge of your bed. 

“You came back,” you smiled, sitting up and stretching. 

“I had to see you. So much has happened and I needed to see that you were okay.” 

“I’m fine. Are you okay?” You asked. You reached out to touch him but your hand when through the apparition. You kept trying to touch him, then tried to wake yourself up from the dream, but nothing worked. “You’re...you’re not actually here?”

“I’m sorry...there’s no easy way to say this but I’ve decided not to return to Earth. I’m going to stay on a planet called Sakaar,” he sighed as he looked down at the floor. 

“So that’s it then? I guess I just don’t matter to you anymore,” you tried to hold back the tears. 

“You do matter...it’s just easier this way. I’m sorry,” he told you before disappearing into thin air, leaving you feeling empty and crushed. 

“Did you hear me?” He questioned, snapping you from your thoughts. You shook your head no, too upset to even look at him. 

“We need to go. I’ve got your back and I need to know that you have mine,” he repeated, stepping closer to you. 

“Yeah, I’ve got your back,” you mumbled. “I’d offer to teleport you but you’re probably not even really here.” You rolled your eyes and prepared to jump when you froze, feeling a hand on your arm. 

“I’m here,” he said quietly, grasping you tighter, not feeling your warmth for over a year. You let out a gasp and turned to him. “How could I not be here with you when the universe might be ending?” 

“You didn’t seem to care when you decided to stay on Sakaar so I don’t see what’s different now,” you snapped, ready to jump without him. 

“I love you! I always have but I was scared! But right now that’s not what’s important. We need to defeat Thanos,” he said, moving closer. Before you knew it his lips were on yours and sparks were flying...or maybe it was limbs and blood was the battle around you but you weren’t sure. “I just had to do that in case we die.” 

“Well let’s not die so we can do it again,” you chuckled before jumping the both of you into the forest to meet with the rest of the team that was just arriving. You weren’t sure what the future held, or if there even was going to be a future, but you were certain that you could face anything with Loki by your side.  

A/N: I finished this at like 3am so it probably sucks lol sorry 

Requests are open

[apathetic-revenant]

so before we left for home yesterday, I set out to collect the book-tribute I was allowed as recompense for shop-sitting. I started in the kids’ room, because I may be 23 but kids’ books are still great. fight me. 

anything interesting in here? 

I had one Dragons of Deltora book that I got from somewhere I don’t remember where and it was in the middle of the series so it made absolutely no sense to me and I retained a vague fascination with it for a long time afterwards because of that. 

naturally all the other pages are hot boys 

I am instantly fascinated by this. 

well I guess ‘murdering women because of a dying curse bestowed by dying treacherous wife’ is...technically...sort of...a step up from ‘murdering women in a fit of pique after finding out that your wife was cheating on you and deciding that no one in history had ever suffered as much as you when you found out your wife was cheating on you’. 

anyway this sounds like a wholesome romance for our youths

I can’t help but be a bit suspicious of this. do girls need their own specific fantasy stories? because Lord of the Rings worked just fine for me. 

...

I

oh boy this has potential to be fun 

it’s a little-known fact that Christopher Pike moonlighted as a YA author before becoming a starship captain. 

awwwwwwww yeah Maniac Magee. 

did you know the audiobook of this is narrated by Whoopi Goldberg? I used to get it from the library all the time. loved it.

we used to have some Outernet books. I don’t remember much about them except that they were very strange.

*cough* you keep using that word...

HELLO

so okay, I realize I’m being pedantic about an easy-reader Wonder Woman book here, but the implication this gives is that the Greek pantheon was comprised entirely of goddesses plus Hermes and Ares.

which would be awesome. 

oh I know this one, the mystery is how he managed to gain a pound after we put him on a diet. 

ahhhhhh I remember these I remember they got so dark 

oh man here’s that book I got from the take-a-book-leave-a-book shelf at my dad’s office, subsequently lost, and then spent years wondering if I’d actually just imagined it altogether.

I refuse to take science advice from a talking egg.

...good for you...?

this struck me as an odd thing to have a shelf for, but hey, it’s not my bookstore.

horse books

SO MANY HORSE BOOKS

hey who remembers this because I remember this

sure that was a kids’ movie right

oh man, where were these when I needed sources for that term paper

okay I know you’re trying to make this educational but that bat is quite a reach.

I don’t know who or what Adorable Apple Dumplin is but I have an instinctive urge to kill it with fire

man, there is a lot going on here. the teen whisperer. [extreme] godchasers. live is like driver’s ed (??? how???) the caves that time forgot, which sounds like an MST3K episode. college without compromise, which I am here to tell you is a lie. there is no college without compromise. you will compromise in college. 

okay, I’m no parent, but I feel that if your child is making any decisions about alcohol tobacco and other drugs at the age of three, you’ve done something wrong. 

...

well, I think we’re done with the kids’ section.

let’s check out the sci-fi/fantasy shelves!

uh

uhhhhhhh

right yes well I was concerned that no one could possibly write an interesting novel after James Joyce but now that I know someone wrote a book about a special man obsessed with sex and immortality I can finally put that doubt to rest.

man I should get around to reading some Andre Norton. 

I should get around to reading a lot of things.

...

I’m just gonna leave this here.

I dunno man I think if you really tried you could cram a few more cliches into this

...a wizard in bed?

oh. 

well this oughta be a trip

heeeeeeey here’s a familiar horrible cover! and in hardback too. 

I kinda want to try making a new one for it. 

okay. so. I don’t have any professional theatre experience, only college, but based on that I can tell you a few things:

-the Macbeth thing is less “a witch-haunted play famously cursed with a reputation for malevolence that haunts actors” and more like that one guy in the light booth being a troll by saying “macbeth macbeth macbeth” into the headsets before opening while everyone else goes “SHUT UP FRANK”

-no blood-filled trench atop a hill is gonna be as scary as the stage manager who just had a bunch of actors go missing

-I see your “someone died while performing a role” and raise you “that time during a production of Dr. Faustus when they realized halfway through that there was one more devil in the cast than they could account for and had to stop and spend the rest of the night praying”. 

-if anyone actually did find a dangerous version of Macbeth said to contain actual rituals of witchcraft and forbidden knowledge it would be performed immediately just to see what would happen

-’not just ritual murder but ancient pagan sacrifice’ okay so someone’s probably not being a pagan correctly 

-good on Kate for chasing down a murder suspect and all that but she had still damn well better be showing up to rehearsal on time 

anyway, on that note I think we’ll leave off with a picture of some kittens.

awww. kittens.

[illmoraineakoi]

I don't think it's actually too much a stretch that TCO and TDL built it themselves, because the sticks canonically have shown to be outrageously smart and intuitive, but also because their world isn't actually physically real.

Everything we see in the Outernet, from the entire city to the forest to the ocean to the sticks themselves are all digital constructs. They're all made from code.

So the rules might not be the same there as they are here in our world.

In our world, it's impossible to just code up a house in a computer program and then have that house just manifest out of thin air. We don't have the ability to alter our existence, the matter of our world, in that way.

But what if the sticks do?

Everything in their world is just code and programming. And that can be altered, if you know how.

And, well, who's the second stick we've ever seen actually do some programming?

Dark.

It's my personal headcanon that that's the main way that he created the Virabots; by programming them into existence in their world.

And really, how different is that from Alan drawing a stick figure and it coming to life? How different is it from Bob, or Alan’s giant cursor or-

The Staff?

The Staff is a minecraft object, yes, but it is still an object that is altering the Outernet's manifested existence. King is creating cobblestone from nothing, with nothing but a code command. And he is removing earthly material from his world's existence, replacing it with air.

He is manipulating his own world's data.

Who's to say Dark didn't know how to do the same? And, likely, better.

Now, likely, this ability to manipulate the very fabric of existence around them is probably very highly controlled and regulated in the Outernet, because that just seems like a really dangerous thing to let just anyone be able to do.

But, well, since when did TCO and TDL care about obeying pesky little things like laws and regulations? Especially if the house was 'built' early on in the seven-ish years between AvA3 and AvA 5/6/7/8, when TCO would probably be a lot more on board with just doing whatever the hell the two of them wanted to do.

TL;DR : TCO and TDL could've made their house by just programming it into existence.

Although, for how smart and quick to learn the sticks have shown to be, I will also say that seven years isn't that outrageous of a timeframe for them to have learned how to actually build a house the normal way. And the visuals of TCO and TDL in construction attire trying to build their house is very very funny.

So I was preparing the next AVAXFNF post (don't mind my not-so-subtle plug), was gathering some screenshots, and it had me thinking

TCO and TDL built this? From scratch?

Like I know Dark designed the virabots and everything that makes sense but these DOOR HANDLES... I CANNOT SEE THEM DESIGNING AND BUILDING DOOR HANDLES. LET ALONE A HOUSE. WITH AN AIR CONDITIONER. These guys were born in a COMPUTER. WITH A GRASS FIELD BACKGROUND. WHERE DID THEY GAIN THIS KNOWLEDGE.

So... hypothetically... what if they... didn't.

Interesting to imagine who could've been a former resident of the base before these two came in... and what happened to them that made the house abandoned.

Or maybe TCO and TDL really did just have that architecture dawg in em. I don't know anymore 😭

[gaiabamman]

Paperback out soon!

Get “Linked”, a sci-fi political romance with fantasy elements, on Kindle here

Summary: Nala is a riotous liberal. When she discovers that she is Cursoi, gifted individuals that form a military caste, she infiltrates them with the goal to kill newly elected President Crash. Unexpectedly, she falls in love with fellow soldier Drama, whose skill is empathy. Nala, who was raised human, struggles with Cursoi culture, where “merging” (similar to human intercourse) is very common and non exclusive. Things precipitate when Nala “links” with gorgeous and conservative Lethal, the killer of their Cursoi unit. “Linking” means that the two, who hate each other’s guts, share their consciousness and feelings. Currently, Nala just left her chambers for the first time after linking and just ran into Drama. 

Warning: very mild language, but some explicit content.

By the way, the trees on the cover are pyramidal neurons. GEEK OUT!

I stare at Drama, desire flaring inside of me.

And hate.

For him.

Lethal’s eyes go wide with the same feelings, and he looks even more bewildered than I am. Drama must be soaking it all in.

“Nala,” he says. “I’ve heard… I couldn’t believe… How are you?”

Tears sting my eyes. “Not well.” Lethal keeps walking. Unfortunately for him there’s no leaving this conversation, no matter how far he walks. I watch his back shrinking, then add, “Drama, we’re doing some research. Maybe we can unlink.”

He scoffs. “I can see why Rogue stuck.”

“Rogue?”

“That’s your nickname. After you disobeyed to save the ass of the whole Unit…”

I smirk. “That’s pretty badass.”

You’ll always be Dumb to me, Lethal thinks in my head, lying in his black bed.

Drama runs a hand in his messy, black hair with a melancholy smile. “It’s been a few weeks already. Someone must have slept with a human, because the nickname leaked. There are already a couple of Rogue fanblogs on the outernet…”

This is so awkward. I say, “Drama, I’m still me. I’m not gonna be Lethal, just because he’s—”

I stop, because Lethal, says in my head, You are me, ungrateful, bonking nymph! I hate you.

Drama’s eyes fill with pity and concern. “That self-loathing I just felt… was it him?”

“I’m not so sure.”

Drama steps closer to me, but as soon as he lifts a hand to touch my face I step back, overtaken by a wave of anger. You abandoned me.

Drama drops his hand. “Would you two survive, unlinked?”

I shake my head. “No, but maybe we could link to someone a bit more fitting?”

Drama looks sad. “Nala, you can’t know better than nature, and honestly,” he adds, reading my thoughts, “I don’t want to be you. I want to be with you.”

You didn’t! Lethal thinks in my head, outraged that I’d rather link with Drama, if that were an option.

I ignore him, and say, “But Drama, it would be amazing! I could feel you the way you feel everyone! You’d never be alone again!”

Drama’s look is stern. “I like being alone sometimes, don’t you miss that?”

“Yeah, but—” I don’t say it out loud, but it would also be a way to keep Drama to myself.

“Nala, I hate monogamy. Linking is not a substitute for a human relationship, it’s an evolutionary device. And honestly, no human relationship like that would ever be healthy. The whole two become one thing is dung.”

I’m not special to Drama. I was just merging material, and now not even that. I turn around and leave, headed to my nest, as fast as I can.

I sob in my nest, face in the pillows. Drama abandoned me, just like he abandoned Lethal when they were kids.

Lethal is standing, as broken-hearted as I am, face leaning on his arms on the entry window to my bed, looking down at me. I can see it as clearly as if it were my eyes: my back heaving up and down, wracked with sobs, my face buried in my arms.

“I don’t want you here!” I yell at him.

He says, quietly, in between angry and hurt, “I am you, Nala, traitorous nymph.”

I’ve never felt more alone.

He thinks back, I’ve never felt less alone.

I can feel the tears streaming down his face. I can feel him climbing into the nest and pulling my back to his chest.

The pain defuses, diluted in the golden light. The sadness is still there, soaking the two of us, the one of us, but I can’t forget that I hate him, and he hates me. My body feels rigid and our old resentment grows back between us like a wall, severing our contact.

I scramble away from Lethal, and my broken heart shatters all over again. I can’t have you so close. It’s way too intimate.

He gets up and out of the bed, without one word. He walks away without turning around. I can’t tell if I’ve added new pain to what we were already drowning in. As briefly as I knew Drama, I was falling for him pretty hard. Now I share my soul with a womanizer who hates my lover’s guts. And mine. Worse, Lethal is ashamed of the surge of desire we both experienced when we saw Drama.

What the Merc. We’re never gonna merge again, are we? I think, laughing and wiping my tears.

You have some bonked up tastes, Lethal replies from his place.

Well, you won’t go around fucking people as if you wanted to kill them.

After a pause he says, in my head, I don’t know any other way.

His answer floors me, first because he’s not arguing, and second because we both know that’s not true. My one experience with Drama was all but hateful. Lethal cannot accept it yet, but he did comment about it. The worst part is that our aversion for each other now feels like self-hatred.

Welcome to my world, Lethal thinks, bitterly.

I want to reach for him. I want to accept him, to forgive him, but all of his pain, the people he hurt, killed, and humiliated haunt me just as much as they haunt him.

Nala.

It’s Drama, calling me. I feel the anger, sadness, and betrayal within Lethal, but I do my best to separate my consciousness from his. I scoot out of the nest, and out of my—our place, away from Lethal, as much as I can.

So much has happened to me in the last month that I feel like I have been a Cursoi for ages, but it’s only been a few days, at least that I was conscious. Therefore, it’s no surprise that I’ve never been to Drama’s place. What should be surprising is that I merged with the guy.

Couldn’t agree more, Lethal thinks in my head.

“Shut the bonk up!” I mutter, trying to bury him in his dark cave.

I face the door from where I felt the pull of Drama’s summon, and I knock. It gives.

Palm trees project long shadows on the white, fine sand scrunching beneath my shoes. A colorful hammock is strung between two of them, swelling with the breeze. Beside it, there’s a shack built with reeds and palm leaves. Ahead of me is the sea: immense, whispering, its clear, shallow waters tinging orange with the sunset. Mounds of seaweed litter the shore, their intense fishy scent wafting to me. Seagulls cry above my head, diving for prey in the water. A type of music I’ve never heard rises from the shack.

“It’s classic music: reggae,” Drama says, walking out from behind the small building.

“Drama, I—”

He raises one hand. “Unfortunately, I feel it all. You… and him.” He shakes his head. “It’s like I finally got a drink of water after a lifetime of being thirsty, and then Ghost poured poison in it.”

“Lethal is not poison!” I reply, a bit too forcefully.

Lethal’s surprise is backed up by Drama, who says, “Oh, really? Because the Nala I knew and… cared for hated his guts.”

“Still do. Well, maybe not hate. I understand him better, but believe me, I still have a hard time accepting the things he said and did.”

“Why would you want to, Nala?”

“Because I am him, Drama. We are the same person, now.”

“So, I can’t have you without him?” I shake my head, and he adds, “And he’s in there with you, hating me, right now.”

I lower my eyes. “And liking you a lot, against his own will.” I smile, but Drama’s lips remain unmoving.

“I can’t do this, Rogue. I’m sorry.”

Lethal rejoices within me, and I hate us both for that. I look at Drama and realize he’s feeling it all. Couldn’t I have fallen for Dime? Or Min?

Or me? Lethal thinks in my head. It would have been so much simpler.

I hate you. I so bonking hate you, Lethal.

Me too.

Sadness drenches us both.

Drama breaks our internal monologue. “How? How do you do this? How can you not lose your mind?”

I lift my face from my hands and realize that Drama is crying. I shake my head. “I might be losing my mind. Ghost says that with time we’ll get better at pushing the other into the background.”

I walk closer to Drama and he lets me, both Lethal and Drama let me. I raise a hand to his face, pushing back Lethal as much as I can. Drama closes his eyes, and I know he’s fighting the negative feelings inside of me as much as I am.

“I missed you,” I say. “I missed you a lot.”

Drama opens his eyes. “You did not merge with him. Even after linking, you… You didn’t.” Anger flares inside of me, and it’s not my own. I close my eyes and try to bury it. Drama says, “You didn’t merge with anyone.”

I laugh. “Neither did he.”

Drama smirks. “You’re strong Nala, stronger than anyone ever thought. Rogue is a very fitting nickname.”

I’m craving to be closer to Drama, to merge, having him inside of me. I can feel Lethal equally enthralled and horrified at the prospect, so I just lean into Drama’s chest, smelling him, the waves crashing their soothing song behind us.

Drama hesitates, but then wraps his arms around me. “I guess this will take some getting used to.”

No bonking way.

I know Drama heard Lethal as much as I did, but I stand on my toes nonetheless, brushing my lips against Drama’s. Desire flares inside of me and Drama kisses me, hungry, and I wonder if he also didn’t merge for the three weeks I was out.

“I did, Nala. I’m not human.”

“I know, it’s just that—”

He kisses me again, his hands caressing my body, and I know Lethal can feel it too. He fights it at first, but then caves in as the throbbing between my legs grows more urgent. He’s surprised with it, curious, eager, till I reach for the swelling in Drama’s pants and we have to break apart, because I’m pretty sure Lethal just got the opposite of a hard on.

And so did I.

Flustered, frustrated, ashamed. I try to take deep soothing breaths to calm Lethal down, worried sick about how bad he’s feeling right now. I’m standing with my hands on my knees, shuddering, staring at the ground. A big fat tear explodes on the sand, then another.

I’m sorry.

I don’t know who thought it. I lift my gaze to meet Drama’s, grateful I don’t have to explain myself to him. He turns around and walks in the shack. No doubt, he’ll merge with someone else tonight, but what about me?

The alarm sounds. Brain says in my head, Get to the foyer. The Prez is delivering a speech. Keep him safe, no matter what.

As soon as Lethal and I show up in the foyer, everybody’s gaze and whispers shift to us. Fortunately, there is no time for the onslaught of questions I’m sure everyone has since Dime takes us all to the Red Quarters.

As soon as we blink on the red carpet below the podium, the crowd goes wild. We take formation, standing in five rows, legs apart and arms behind our backs, eyes fixed ahead. Ghost stands in front of us.

I can see teens screeching in the crowd, holo-projections of all sorts fill the ever blue sky: from anti-Crash protesters, to Crash fanatics, and Cursoi groupies, men and women alike. I’m surprised to see a few Rogue supporters among them. Drama didn’t lie.

Must be my charm, Lethal thinks. I bedazzled them in spite of your body.

I am him. I know very well he feels terrible for what happened, or did not happen with Drama, and he’s reacting the only way he knows how; by trying to be a jerk.

I reply, I liked it better when you were shy.

I know you don’t mean it.

I can’t help but smile, just a little. Yet, the Rogue holo-projections have nothing to do with Lethal’s charm, or mine. As much as Zera could erase any memory of me, she could not plant a fake past to justify my sudden presence within the Cursoi. To humans, I am a Cinderella. I am hope that a different life might await them too, but there is no different life: only the one we all share. We face our own problems and challenges, and even if I am not starving anymore, I am not any happier.

Lethal turns to look at me, his hazel eyes sad.

I falter.

What? He asks in my head.

I thought we had to stay still, but you’re looking at me, I reply.

Are you kidding? That’s what Zera makes them remember. The first five seconds we were here. I chuckle. And I wasn’t looking at you, he adds.

President Crash appears behind us. I know because I can feel his organs. Creepy.

I say, “Browser, Drama, I can feel a heart accelerating suspiciously at eleven hours, thirty yurda from the podium.”

Drama says, “Sniper.”

Browser says, “Single agent.”

Brain orders, Rogue, Lethal, terminate him.

[gaiabamman]

 Get the whole Kindle book on Amazon for $4.99! Paperback and audio forthcoming ^_^

WARNING! One F-bomb. Just so you know ;)

When your lungs collapse, you realize how much you took air for granted. Courtesy of Lethal, today I have been blind, drank my own blood, vomited it, and had about thirty more organs crushed. I don’t think I’m even trying to heal myself anymore.

Zero progress.

After a couple of hours, Min lifts my poor hand and asks, “May I?”

The hand is whole, but in my eyes it looks like a swollen bloody pulp. I don’t know what Min wants with my hand, but it can’t be worse than crushing my bones, so I nod. He quickly runs his nail against my skin, drawing blood. It barely registers.

I stare at the scratch and burst out laughing. “Check that out, Lethal, not so hard after all, was it?”

Lethal replies, murderous, “You’d be surprised what I can manage with my hands. Come a little closer, and I’ll show you.”

Dirty. His glare is all but sexy. Or should I say mergy? Maybe I just really need to get merged.

Lethal adds, “So, Dumb, wanna stare at me all day or wanna show us your healing—”

I lift my hand, but there is no scratch. I didn’t even have to think about it.

Lethal shuts the Merc up and Ghost says, “Remarkable!” He takes out a dagger and asks, “Do you mind?”

I sigh and offer my hand. I wish I were one of those people who find pleasure in physical pain, but I am not, at all. Ghost slashes the back of my hand and the cut disappears in front of our eyes, not even a drop of blood left to witness its existence.

Ghost grins. “Amazing! It seems you can heal only superficial wounds.”

“So, my skill is not the opposite of Lethal’s! Can we stop training together?”

Ghost smiles, pensive. “It’s exactly the opposite. Deep wounds and superficial healing. Nala, can you try to heal someone else?”

“Sure! Can I stab Lethal?”

Min chuckles.

Lethal glowers, but Ghost gives me the knife. I hesitate, but when I remember my crushed lungs, I bring the blade down on Lethal’s forearm. He doesn’t even flinch.

I say, “I don’t feel very motivated to heal you.” The cut lingers, blood dripping on the grass.

Min says, “Thirty seconds!”

“Fine.” I do try, but Lethal’s cut keeps bleeding.

Ghost claps. “Min!” The cut disappears. “Let’s call it a day. Tomorrow we’ll resume training on healing other people. You did it with Seria, I know you can.”

My stomach drops. Do I hate Lethal so much I couldn’t heal him? Min smiles at me and offers me his huge fist to bump, which I do. Lethal is already on his feet and walking away.

I look at Ghost. “Can I get my lab now?”

It took no time for Dime to blink me a tiny room with a biosimulator, outernet, and a couple of holo-screens. Ghost uploaded to the biosimulator full bioscans of the current Cursoi population, and left me to work. It’s already valuable information I did not have before. I am not sure what I’m going to do with anything I find, but hey, knowledge is power.

I find it particularly hard to focus, and honestly, I feel exhausted. Training is taxing, and watching Cursoi flirt and rub against each other all day makes me more frustrated than ever. If I don’t merge, I might really get a crazy streak, up to par with angel face.

It’s been a good three hours when Ghost comes back to visit me in the lab.

“So, found anything?” he asks, sitting in the lev-stool beside mine. “If not, I’d rather have you come to class, even if you know science already.”

“But I did! Cursoi have fifty-two chromosomes rather than forty-six, that’s why we cannot reproduce with humans.”

“So Lymph was right, we are a different species.”

I nod. “Why didn’t anyone ever run a test before?”

He shrugs. “What else?”

“Sex hormone levels are too high in Apprentices to get pregnant, and they are too low in Elders. That’s why only Masters are fertile.”

“Makes sense.”

“Do you have any children?” I ask.

Ghost rolls his eyes. “Nala, you’re the epitome of insubordination for Cursoi standards.”

“Oh.”

“Go merge, if you can. That’ll make you stronger and a bit less edgy.” He looks at my face and shakes his head. “Or… relax? Chillax? Is that what humans say these days?”

“Kinda.” Maybe two thousand years ago.

I stand up and leave the lab.

When I walk back to my place, it’s late already. I don’t want to go out to the park and drink. To my surprise, Drama is waiting for me in the deserted hallway, leaning with his back against my door.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, grudgingly pleased to see him. Drama’s breathing is a little too fast. “Did you drink?” I ask. He shakes his head.

I have to walk to my door to open it, so that I’m standing right in front of him. He doesn’t move. His eyes are drinking me in. He’s burning. Even I can see that. I stare at his parted lips, his dark gaze, and I can’t get any closer or I’ll do something really stupid.

“Stupid?” he asks, his voice ragged. “I’m sober. So are you. I did not merge last night and I feel… less than great. How do you put up with this?”

I bite my lip and regret it when I realize he’s staring. I swallow. Nothing helps. Existing in the same space with Drama feels like magnets fighting not to touch.

Drama reaches out for my shoulders so fast I just squeeze my eyes shut. My back thuds against the door. I reopen my eyes and see that our positions have switched. Drama’s hands on my shoulders might be burning a hole through my tunic, and I don’t mind at all. I want that feeling all over my body.

He leans closer, the air between us reaching Mercury-like temperatures. I know Drama is giving me a chance to say something, to tell him to leave, but I don’t speak.

He smiles, and says, his voice a whisper, “Can I come in?”

I nod, burning with doubts and desire.

We step into my place, and Drama sheds his bright blue tunic. As bewildered as I am, I just can’t stop staring at his muscular back, even though I really can’t see much in the dark. Crickets sing, occasionally interrupted by the owl. Fireflies hover around Drama’s silhouette. He takes his pants off, and jumps in my hot spring.

“I wanted to do that since we made your place!” he says. Then he turns to me and asks, “What the Merc are you waiting for?”

“I…I…”

“Oh. Nudity is no big deal for Cursoi. The only reason we wear clothes at all is to keep from getting distracted.”

I’m still frozen, in the dark. I feel very distracted.

Drama adds, “Hey, I won’t use my secret moves on you, I promise. Just get in already! It’s dark anyway.”

I fumble with my clothes, feeling like a klutz, and I stumble to the water. The grass feels plush and wet between my toes.

Drama says, a silly grin on his face, “Wow, I forgot how much paler your skin is than mine. You do kinda glow in the dark.”

“Stop it!” I plunk in the water at a good yurda from him.

He can’t stop grinning my way. “I hate that I promised to behave. I know you were human-raised, but what’s the point of holding back?”

I know he’d know the answer even if I didn’t speak, so I say, “Because! I always imagined, uh, sex, as this very special thing between two human beings and—”

“We’re not human, Nala. Merging is a way to connect—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read the book. But I’ve never—”

I stop mid-sentence, feeling my face on fire. Drama’s bewilderment hits me like desert wind. “Oh my Lars! You’ve never merged? That’s why you hold back, you can’t gauge how bad you’re feeling!”

“Oh, bonk you.”

“My point exactly. How did you not?”

“What do you mean how? It just didn’t happen, okay? I just turned eighteen the day you got me here!”

“Holy Lars! Well, Happy Birthday, Late Bloomer!”

“I’d rather be Dumb. Why, what’s a normal age for Cursoi to, uh, merge?”

Drama shrugs. “Eleven? Twelve? As soon as puberty hits.”

Holy Lars, I’m a bonking spinster.

“Well, I can help in that department.” Drama smiles, and for a second I am tempted. “Why not?” he asks.

“Because I may be Cursoi, and that sure explains a lot of hot dreams and general restlessness, but I was raised human, and that’s not gonna change overnight.”

I know Drama is holding back because he doesn’t want to push me, and I appreciate it. For a few minutes we just sit in the hot springs, listening to the owl, watching the fireflies.

Then I ask, “But then… Cursoi never… have relationships?”

“Well, of course. We have preferred friends, like I’m sure you’ve already realized, but merging is never exclusive, unless you link.”

He puts his arms on the grassy bank and I get to admire his biceps. I lean my head back, averting my eyes, and staring at the stars, instead. “You what?” I ask.

“Link. I’ve never seen it in my lifetime, and I don’t know much about it, other than two become one.”

“Oh, kinda like a marriage! That’s very romantic.”

Drama laughs out loud. “It has nothing to do with merging, sex, or love. It’s more something about sharing skills, becoming stronger soldiers.”

“So, why do linked Cursoi become exclusive?”

Drama shrugs. “Who knows. From what I heard they become strange all around, kinda cagey.”

“And how does it happen?”

“It just happens, once in a blue moon.”

I scoff. “Right. It’s just the way it is, like everything Cursoi. You guys are a bunch of meatheads, just following orders and never asking questions.”

“Ouch!” Drama’s volume goes up a notch. “You know what? You’re starting to sound like Lethal, and I don’t like it at all.”

“What?”

Drama sighs. “I just think that before judging Cursoi, you should give yourself a chance to know us… your true nature.”

My shoulders slump, my anger defusing.“Why does he hate you so much?”

“Is it so obvious?”

“Kinda.”

Silence, just the stream gurgling around us.

Finally Drama answers, “Well, we were best friends before puberty… Now, he thinks I’m weak because I’m so affected by emotions, and he hates I might find out his dark secrets.”

“Did you?”

Drama doesn’t answer and I’m ashamed I asked.

After a pause he resumes talking, his voice a bit more strained. “Also… he thinks— He thinks that black-skinned Cursoi are inferior, uglier, weaker.”

I blink twice, as if that could make the thought go away. “How? Why?”

Drama splashes some water with his hand. “The Lars know. He read some ancient pamphlet of fanatics declaring the way he looks defines a superior race and, being the jerk he is, he bought into it. Why wouldn’t he? It entitles him to feel better than anyone else. At least he never said it out loud.” He bites his lip and says, “I shouldn’t have told you. I’m sorry.” More splashing. A frog croaks. “I never speak to anyone about feelings. They’re kind of taboo in our culture.”

“Ah, okay. Is that why… you’d rather sleep with humans?”

He scoffs. “I see gossip made it around fast, huh? I don’t prefer to… Well, I guess I do. Maybe it’s because I can feel what my partners feel.”

“And?”

He sighs. “And Cursoi are very… carnal, physical, sort of disconnected. For Cursoi merging is an escape from training, loneliness, and missions, but unfortunately I am overwhelmed with their despair, no matter how much they hold it back.”

“That splurts.”

He chuckles. “Indeed.”

“And what about humans?”

“Humans are amazing, but I hate that I can never get attached. I can never see the same human twice.”

“Why?”

“Because that would make them a target, and a weakness of mine. They can never be anything more than an easy fuck.” I flinch at his crudeness, sensing all the bitterness in his words. “Nala, can I stay? I don’t want to push you. I mean, I do, but I won’t. I just don’t want to be alone tonight.”

I don’t know if it’s the setting, my raging hormones, or Drama’s confessions, but I slowly nod, and I wonder if he even saw it in the light of the fireflies.