#i couldnt see it until 2 years after i moved out

[bronze-main]

Vent under the cut and in the tags

Sometimes it feels like it's never gonna be ok. And I don't know what to do.

[nerdie-faerie]

The universe is working against me going to the balloon fiesta at this point

[1byhwng]

6 with felix please!!

prompt 6 : “I’ve been just a friend to you? Do you not love me like I do?”

pairing : bff!felix + fem!reader

(had to add some fluff the angst was killing me)

It was an ordinary saturday with your best friend, Felix, playing games on his xbox. It’s been years since you’ve met him. 18 years to be exact, you met him when you had just moved to Australia from America when you were 5 years old and he was 6. You became inseparable after only a week of being friends. His mom got close with yours so you could see him more often. Even though he only liked you like a friend you fell in love with him, his freckles, his smile, his eyes -god how you loved his beautiful eyes and his li-

”Y/N?” you jump slightly at his voice, just realizing you weren’t even playing the game anymore. “Oh, sorry.” You say getting comfortable again and putting the controller away. The worst part of this it wasn’t the first time it’s happened and you knew exactly why you kept zoning out while you were hanging out with him. You could tell he was starting to get irritated but he didn’t show it. “Seriously ? This is the 6th time today, are you sure you’re okay?”

He puts his controller on the table in front of you before turning to completely face you. “I want to help you but I can’t if you won’t tell me what keeps that pretty mind of yours running around 10,000 miles a second.” He say putting extra sarcasm in his tone. Without responding you lay your head on his shoulder.

Before you could even settle in he pushes you off and crosses his arms. “No cuddles until you drown me in your sorrows.” He purposely makes his voice an octave or 2 higher causing you to laugh.

“It’s not important to know right now.” You say light heartedly once you stop laughing. He smiles before feigning realization “omg..you like me.” Instead of laughing along with him as a joke you sit there shock. He looks at you confused not understanding your reaction in the slightest. The thing is you did like him more than friends but you knew just as good as the next person it would never happen. Even if it did happen he would realize we were better off friends.

“Y/N.. you like me?” He speaks in his regular voice losing the joking demeanor. “It’s not that, felix." you sit up straight putting a reasonable amount of space between you and him.

"so its not that you like me?" he says curiosity evident in his voice. Not knowing how to respond you look at him not speaking but you're sure your eyes tell it all. "you do..." he says as a smile creeps onto his face. instinctively you smile softly too but before you could speak he pulls you into a hug holding you tight? "god..you wouldnt believe how much ive wanted to hear that." he says resting his head in the crook of your neck. As much as you wanted to hug him back you couldnt. Instead, you pushed him away leaving him confused.

"This whole time...you treated me like just another friend, but you liked me?" you stand up, fighting back tears. "I've been just a friend to you? Do you not love me like i do?" he says hurt lacing his words, each one laying heavy on your heart. "No, felix. I do love you..but i dont wanna regret it." you sigh "i didnt want to ruin our friendship."

He looks at you like you just said the dumbest thing ever "do you hear yourself?" he says with very clear sarcasm "If i cared so much about that, why would i be overjoyed that i figured out you liked me? maybe i shouldve been more clear.." he clears his throat before speaking again "I.am..in..Love..with..You...Y/N...L/N" he says slowing down each word as if you didnt speak english. You couldnt help but smile at him "i am in love with you too, Lee felix." you chuckle before hugging him and suddenly tears stream down your face. "i thought you were gonna hate me." you say laughing through your tears. "well i went to "Hate Y/N" island and no one was there-" you playfully hit him in the chest to stop him from finishing the joke.

"in all seriousness, no one could ever make me hate you."

[strniohoeee]

i need one with chris who gets all shy like a little girl in love everything reader is there so she takes courage and kisses him

Butterflies

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Chris can’t seem to control his emotions around Y/N. After an awkward encounter who will make the first move?☔️

Warning⚠️: NONEEEE. It’s pretty short, but it’s cute or whatever 🤭

Song for the imagine: Talk 2 U- Brent Faiyaz

You don’t need champagne

You’d rather be held tight and maintained

I wanna know everything about you

But first I gotta talk to you

Chris POV

Everything about her…..she made me nervous. I never got nervous around a girl. I mean I talked to a lot of women. I would classify myself as a pro, but with Y/N it was hard.

Her smile, her hair, her eyes, the dimple on her left cheek that showed when she laughed or smiled, the way she tilted her head to listen to you. All of it….it made me anxious with these feelings…I don’t even know honestly

Ask anyone around me. I found all that love shit cringey and embarrassing. I would never be down bad like that for anybody, but my mind started to question that feeling whenever I saw Y/N.

I’ve known of her for two years now. She’s Larrays best friend. When we started hanging out with Larray he brought her around, and soon she became best friends with Nick.

At first it wasn’t an issue, but the more she started to come around the more nervous I got. For a while I played it cool, but then it got extremely difficult.

Especially when we would be left alone, or she’d come over and talk to me. She probably thought I was some immature idiot and felt pity towards me. If my brothers and I ever went out and Y/N was there I’d often not say hi. Pretending I didn’t see her until she came up to me, or my brothers and Larray went up to her as a group.

I could never speak to her alone….embarrassed I’d make a fool of myself. This wasn’t like me, and I started to question who I truly was.

Currently we’re at a house party that Larray threw for the launch of his fragrance line. There were a lot of people here, but nothing unbearable. It was actually a lot of people we all knew.

“You seem nervous” Larray said laughing at me

“Oh…um no I’m good” I said nodding at him

“He is nervous about Y/N showing up” Matt said laughing

“Shut the fuck up” I said smacking Matt

“Why? Just talk to her” Larray said

“He’s scared she’ll think he’s a weirdo” Nick said

“Oh? Y/n?? Never I’m sure she’s head over heels for you” Larray said laughing, but this gave me some false hope

“Just talk to her, oh look she��s coming over” Nick said

“Y/NNNNN” Larray yelled and gave her a hug

“Hiiiii” she yelled and hugged him back

She started to talk with Matt and Nick while Larray walked away to grab a drink. It got quiet so I decided to speak up

“Hi Y/N” I said looking at her

“Oh hi Chris. I didn’t see you there” she said smiling at me

I couldnt even respond to that….she doesn’t even see me. My chances are done.

“Well um I’m going to make my rounds. I’ll see yall around” she said and waved bye to us

“Chris what the fuck was that” Matt said

“Yeah that was painful to watch” Nick said laughing

“Shut up I got nervous okay” I said shaking my head

“Tonight’s your one chance to shoot your shot before one of these other guys get to her first” Matt said

“I don’t know” I said standing up and walking away from my brothers

I had been wandering around the party when I decided to go upstairs to use the bathroom. After coming out I decided to sit in one of the empty bedrooms. The party becoming too much for me

Suddenly I heard the door open and someone came in

“This rooms ta-“ I began to say as I turned around, but locked eyes with Y/N

“Oh sorry” I said shaking my head

“There you are stranger. Where have you been” she said smiling at me

“I’ve been around, but I just needed a break from the party” I told her

“Yeah same” she said walking over to the bed and sitting down

“So…” I began to state but she cut me off

“Listen I’m sorry for saying I didn’t see you back there. I mean I didn’t you were so quiet, but I know it came off rude” she said shaking her head

“Oh no it’s okay! I was being pretty quiet” I said waving at her

“Okay good I didn’t want you to think I hate you or anything, because I don’t” she said looking at me

“I didn’t think that” I said laughing and walking over to the bed sitting next to her

“You’re a nice guy Chris. We should hang out more” she said looking at me

“Uhh yeah yeah” I said

“I mean I’m not forcing you, we don’t have to” she said putting her hands up in defense

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to come off rude. I would love to hang out with you” I said shaking my head

“Perfect! We’ll plan a date… I MEAN DAY we’ll plan a day” she said getting nervous

Her nervousness makes me feel better. I laughed a bit and nodded my head

“Sounds good to me” I said still laughing a bit

“So uhh how’s the party going” I said mentally smacking myself

“Chris” she said laughing

I looked over at her, and suddenly she leaned in. Our lips crashing together in a well needed kiss

Her hand caressing my cheek as my right hand laid on her left knee. Our breathing became heavier as we deepened the kiss.

We pulled away and she smiled at me. Standing up she looked at me

“I’ll see you umm Friday at 8? Meet me here” she said

“Yeah of course” I said looking over at her

“Well umm have a goodnight, and I’ll see you in a few days” she said standing by the door

“Yes for our date. I MEAN-“ I cut myself off

“Yes Chris for our date” she said giggling and stepping out shutting the door behind her

I leaned back on the bed running my hands through my hair. Did I really just kiss the girl of my dreams? And do we really have a date on Friday??

All I had to do was talk to her….insanity

The End

I know this one was short, but I found it cute! I hope you enjoyed and thank you all for the support. I LOVE YALLLL🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[amaramizuki666]

Shared sensation part.2

Danny had felt so numb, ever since his soulmate rejected him, without even telling danny his name, he just hasn't felt anything. Their was always this tingling under his skin but he just couldn't feel anymore. He couldn't feel pain, he couldn't feel the cold, he could feel the heat, it was just nothing.

But danny pushed forward if his soulmate didn't want him, if his soulmate didn't even want to give him a chance. Then that was on him not Danny.

After a few years and danny was 14 he got used to the no feeling thing, he moved on with his life trying to ignore the aches in his chest calling out for a bond that was no longer there. He made freinds with sam and tucker two very unlikely soulmates, they had a platonic type bond very rare but it makes sense considering that both where aromantic . They butted heads a lot but they cared for eachother nun the less.

So when sam and tucker came over and Sam wanted to see the broken portal his parents tried to create in his basement, he was somewhat reluctant to show them but caved after a bit of convincing. then sam wantented a picture of him in the portal. danny was once again reluctant but sam convinced him saying that if he wore a safety suit he would be fine. so he put one on, sam removed the insignia of his dads face then walked into the portal.

sam took her photos and danny shook his head at his friend. danny goes to walk out of the portal when he tripped over some cabling. he caught himself on the inner wall of the machine. danny sighed in relief when he heard a low hum, the low hum of the portal powering up, danny didn't even have a moment to process that his hand was placed on a big red button that said 'on'.

the only thing danny could focus on was the sudden feeling of pain coursing through his body, the first thing he's felt in 4 years. so much pain. danny cant help but scream as he felt himself being ripped apart for the second time.

-----------------------------------------------------

Tim fell to ground screaming in pain, his mug shattered on the kitchen floor. Tim's muscles contracting painfully causing tim to curl in on himself. "TIM!!" He heard dick yell as he and who he assumes to be Bruce running over to him.

They say something to him but tim isnt paying attention, he is in so much pain. This is the first thing he has felt since destroying his bond with his soulmate. The contractions stop but tim dosnt in curl himself, his legs are to his chest and his hands are clutching his shirt right over where his heart should be.

Tim was gagging he felt the coffee he was drinking in the back of his throat. Tears streaming down his cheeks. He felt himself being pulled into someone's arms.

Tim didnt understand what was happening, it didnt register what just occurred. Not until the pain finally stopped and his chest was filled with an overwhelming emptiness. A cold chill wrapping about his soul and body.

"No-" tim mumbles in a strained voice, horror seeping into his tone. He pushed away from the person who was holding onto him, shooting up off the ground. "Tim?" Bruce's voice registered in his mind.

Tim looked at his family more tears flowed down his cheeks. "Babybird what's wrong?" Dick asks taking a small step forward. Tim looked at him speechless, in shock. He felt dick place a hand on his shoulder, tim looked him in the eyes, dick saw how blood shot Tim's pupils where.

"He's dead" tim mumbles barely audible. "What-" bruce was cut off "MY SOULMATE, DANNY. I CANT FEEL HIM, EVEN AFTER OUR BOND WAS SEVERED I COULD STILL FEEL HIM, BUT NOW HE'S GONE, I FELT IT HES DEAD!" Tim cried collapsing back to the floor not bothered with how the shards of ceramic glass cut his legs.

Tim couldnt feel Danny, tim knows what that means, what all that pain ment, danny was dead, Tim's soulmate was dead. Tim's soulmate died in so much pain. This was his fault, he should have been there. This was all Tim's fault.

part.1

part. 3

[starrybl1ss]

Enchanting secrets ✧˖°.

★senior/quidditch captain/slytherin!ellie williams x senior/gryffindor!reader ★warnings: making out lol, swearing, (smut in part 2 that is complete link below) ★inspo: so basically yk the drarry ships?? this is kinda basically it but with ellie & reader and the hogwarts!ellie headcannons ★please read! harry potter fans please don't come at me because the timeline of this fic is probably not accurate from the books and movies. and yes, i did watch the movie but im not really in the fandom that much so i did as much as researching as i could.

Hogwarts has been a big journey for you and all the wacky magical things happening. as now you are in senior year, the last year in hogwarts, after that you'll have do the N.E.W.T.s test that is known to be increadibly difficult.

Your really nervous, luckly your friend, Dina is a fellow gryffindor as well. And she's a smart student.

You really want to do well in the test. magic isn't as easy as flickering a wand in the air and boom! your a frog. Its much more complex than that. theory or practice, its hard.

Your now in the library with Dina, studying your ass off. its quite stressful with all the subjects.

Tomorrow is the quidditch match. your house versus slytherin. you can't wait to watch it. its always so much fun watching quidditch. you never really liked playing quidditch since it all looks so exhausting and dangerous, not like hogwarts is not itself. but you rather focus on your studies.

"Dina, im going back. real tired. you coming?" you ask the black haired girl. "Yeah all go back after its actually time for students to get back and sleep" she replied. "Cya" you left the library grabbing your books.

You walk all along the school corridors and went on the anoyying stairs that always move to a different place. its still quite busy. but only with all the seniors. running up and down.

You suddenly bump into someone. an auburn haired girl making you drop your book. "shit, sorry let me get them for you" she bent down to your knees grabbing the books you dropped.

The girl hands out the books back to you. "thanks... ellie?" you thank her while a bit skeptical if thats her name. "no problem" she replied and continues walking down the stairs.

You were right, Ellie williams. captain of the slytherin quidditch team. You see her a lot. she's a big deal. the some what 'anoyying' quidditch captain that always makes their team win in quidditch the past years shes been in hogwarts.

You continue walking up the stairs towards the 'fat lady' painting. You stood infront of the painting. "fibbertigibbet" you said as the painting opened and you step in.

Your basically the first senior to enter since everybody was busy studying while you cant take it anymore. you were too sleepy. so you changed in to your pyjamas and went to bed

꒰୨🔮୧꒱

Your sleep was interrupted by Dina. "wake upppp, it's already time for brekfast!" she shook your unconcious body. you quicky open your eyes and saw that it is perfectly 7.30 in the morning.

Your sleep felt so quick. "wait up, im gonna get dress" you got up and dressed up as Dina waited in the common room.

"Let's go Deen" you went outside the gryffindor house and quickly went down the stairs to the great hall where brekfast is served until around 8.

You went ahead and sat down and grabbed the food you wanted. chicken, again. your kind of obsessed with eating chicken by now.

You glaired at the slytherin table where you saw, ellie williams again. for some reason, since you two bumped to eachother on the stairs, you couldnt seem to get her of your mind.

Dina waved her hand infront of your face trying to stop you from zoning out and daydreaming too much. "who's the lucky guy your gonna take to dance after the exam?" Dina looks at you hoping you already have a guy to take out to the last senior prom.

"Oh uh, dunno" you slightly shook your head. "who we're you looking at anyways?" she asks curiously. "no one, just uhh.. someone that helped me grab my books when we bumped into eachother last night"

"see? i dont think thats a 'no one' after all! who is it?" she shook your shoulder excitedly. "a girl... you know? slytherin's quidditch captain?" you said nervously.

"are you kidding? ellie? you mean ellie williams? she's bad news!-" Dina said out loudly as you stopped her to make her a little more quite since there was a lot of people looking at you two.

"My god, she's so anoyying! she's our rival y/n!" she looks at you. "i knowww, but-" you stopped talking trying to think what to say next.

"but what? okay, i could quickly find you a good looking, smart, green flag gryffindor guy in a minute! it'll be easy, almost every gryffindor wants you. not to meantion, a lot of other boys from other houses would want you"

"i'll just worry about it later, whats the point of having a 'guy' that wants you but you don't want them anyways?"

꒰୨🔮୧꒱

You couln't focus the whole time in potions. you kept having your eyes on ellie making it difficult. you exited the class and went towards the bathroom to wash your face.

You went inside hearing someone crying and ofcourse it is moaning myrtle. the ghost who haunts the girls bathroom.

You saw another girl infront of the sink. you got closer and it was ellie. god, you meet her everywhere. you went to the sink next to her as you turned on the faucet.

Ellie looks at you "hey, never really catched your name last night" slightly tilting her head. "I- im- uh, y/n" you introduced yourself.

"nice meeting you"

"y-you too!" you said nervously.

"whats your next class y/n?" god, she said your name making you blush a little. suprised that she brought up a conversation. "defence againts the dark arts" you replied.

She looks at you while not sayying a thing. just admiring your face making your heart skip a beat. you couldn't handle the tension anymore.

"i should get to clas-" you stepped a bit further from her but she grabbed your left arm. "the teacher wouldn't mind you being late right?" she said teasingly.

"y-yeah he wouldn't min-" suddenly ellie pulls you in a kiss. fuck, you didn't know this would happen so quickly. you kissed her back. her hands on your waist.

"c-can we a go somewhere a little more private? Just incase...-" ellie grabs you and puts you two in one of the stalls locking the door from behind.

She pins you to the door and started giving you hickeys on your neck with you letting out choked up moans as she lifts up your sweater.

You hear someone sniffing, moaning myrtle. "Looks like things are getting a little too spicy in here. you stupid kids forgot i haunt this place? Jeez, get out!"

Shit, you totally forgot about her being her- fuck! Your missing out on professor lupin's class!

"El- ellie im missing class i should go-" you push her back a little. "See you after the match?" You nod as you went outside the stall

You ran around the corridor. 14 minutes late into proffesor lupin's class. luckly it was him teaching so he didn't make a fuss about you being late and you just said you were in the bathroom constapated as hell and he led that slide without you telling him you hooked up with the slytherin quidditch captain.

"were you that constipated? your lucky proffesor lupin isn't absent or you'd be in hell!" Dina did made a fuss about it.

You rolled your eyes and continued writing in your notebook.

꒰୨🔮୧꒱

This evening the weather is perfect. Not too hot, a bit cloudy but no sign of rain. The quidditch match had begun 15 minutes ago.

Slytherin are currently in the lead. Brooms going back and forth in lightning speed.

You could care less about the match, you were drunk in love admiring ellie on her broomstick. She was your house biggest rival!

Your mouth accidently slipped "Go ell-!" Dina looks at you confused. "Shes our rival! Snap out of it!" You stayed silent gazing at ellie like your some dumb 12 year old thats so drunkly inlove.

꒰୨🔮୧꒱

The match has ended with slytherin, again. everybody went back inside the school corridor as the slytherin kids all cheered for ellie and her team.

you were completely starstruck by her. shes so... mesmorizing its driving you insane.

suddenly you felt someones arm touching yours in the crowd. you looked at your left to see... ew! its that icky popular gryffindor guy that cant seem to get your hands off you.

"hey, i was wondering if you'd want to come to the dance with m-" you cut off his words. "sorry, fully booked" you tilt your head with a smug face.

You were lying, theres been a lot of guys asking you but you just rejected all of them.

You walked away from him without looking back. as the corridor got a little less hectic, ellie approaches you. "hey, about that..." she stopped. "would you go to the yule ball with me after the exam? any chance? you already got someone... dont you?"

You giggled "i don't, ellie" you smile. she smiled back at you and pulled you in for a kiss infront of people including dina.

꒰୨🔮୧꒱

★read please!

HIIII soooo its donee, sorry if i misspelt stuff. ik the pole i did alotta people voted for smut but i wanted this one to be clean???? so if you want to read the next part (that has smut) you can read it here!

lmk if you wanna see the yule ball part after the n.e.w.t.s!

[mbat]

i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)

(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)

listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:

i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.

i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.

bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.

he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.

he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want

and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.

and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode

and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.

like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.

like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.

i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.

i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn

[deliasbabe]

I'll Travel Far Beyond the Path of Reason (Take me back to Eden)- Cordelia x reader (Part 1)

You and Cordelia get into a fight and you are attacked by witch hunters. If you couldnt tell by the summary, heavy HEAVY angst.

I've been working on this for over a year and if I don't post it now I'll continue to tweak it until the end of time. Enjoy babes and I'll see you for part 2!

Words: 8.6k

Warnings: Violence, Blood, ANGST, drugging, drug & alcohol use, PTSD

How could you have been so stupid?

It had started off innocently. You had always played the good cop to your supreme’s bad cop. She dispensed the punishment, stern but always loving, and you spared the girls from it as much as possible. It had become sort of a banter between the two of you, the way you would intercept the issues before they ever reached her office door, correcting the situation so well she only ever heard about it months after the fact in hushed whispers. She would always scold you, but there was a hint of a smile only you could see, and she never was mad for long. So, when the girls called you the other night and admitted they messed up, you climbed out of bed and drove across town without a second thought, and without waking your sleeping girlfriend.

You thought it was simple, they snuck out after curfew, went to a party, and drank a bit too much. But when the cops knocked on the coven’s door two days later, your girlfriend was blindsided, and you had learned their little screw up wasn’t so little.

Grand theft auto, to be exact. Seems they had left out the part where they took some asshats car for a joyride and crashed it, but that was after he had been a little too handsy with the youngest and tried to spike her drink. You called it penance, but your girlfriend called it-

“A felony, Y/N.” She spat, “They committed a felony, and you kept it from me.”

“I didn’t know all of the information.” You argued, “All I knew was they snuck out and needed a ride.”

“You still should have told me. I’m responsible for those girls.” Cordelia fumed, “I know I let you get away with it before, but this is too far. What am I supposed to tell their parents? That their own teacher helped them leave the scene of a crime?”

“Once again, Dee,” You lamented, “I didn’t know. They kept that tidbit of information private.”

It was supposed to be date night, the one day a month you could manage to drag your workaholic girlfriend from her office and away from her responsibilities. But she was seething over her glass of red and you couldn’t seem to get a word in edgewise, so you quickly came to terms with the fact that it wasn’t going to be a pleasant evening, even if you were at one of the nicest places in town.

“You know that doesn’t matter.” She spit, “They could go to jail.”

“What would you have done if you’d known?” You asked, already knowing the answer, “If I had woken you up, what would you have done? Woken Mallory up so she could reverse time and make sure the whole thing didn’t happen? Magically move the dented pieces back into place? You couldn’t have done anything.”

“Don’t be condescending.” Cordelia growled, “You aren’t supposed to keep secrets from me, that’s not how this works. Especially when it comes to the girls. You should have said something.”

“So you could yell at them for sneaking out? So, when they did it again, they’d be too scared to call?” You asked, Cordelia shaking her head.

“They still lied to you,” She bit, “So your plan seems to have some flaws.”

“They were scared.” You argued, “They knew if they told me everything, I would’ve come to you.”

“You should have come to me regardless.” Cordelia spat, “I’m the headmistress of this academy and your supreme.”

“And I trust you with my life,” You said, “But right now you aren’t really showing your level head.”

And oh boy, if her eyes could shoot daggers, you’d be bleeding out on the floor. She scoffed, her jaw clenching and grinding as she mulled over her response. Normally, she would roll her eyes and grin at the joke, but she simply shook her head and grabbed her things, leaving the restaurant without another word.

“Delia…” You called after her, but she didn’t turn around, and your waitress was on you before you could even think to go after her, “I guess I’ll take the check.”

When you reached the parking lot, your car was gone, and you lolled your head back and let out a frustrated grunt as it started to drizzle. The symbolism wasn’t lost on you, walking across town in the rain only to come back with your tail between your legs. She was putting you through the ringer for this one, and while you couldn’t really blame her, she also wasn’t being completely fair. Not telling her the girls had snuck out was on you, one hundred percent. But you weren’t a mind reader, and you had absolutely no way of knowing the girls weren’t being truthful, you were just as surprised as she was. But still, you knew she needed someone to be angry with, now that the damage was done.

Still, an hour long walk in the now pouring rain seemed a bit excessive. The woman was blessed with the ability to transmutate but still left you stranded just to prove a point. You were lucky you had been in the city long enough to know your way around, especially at night. The choice to avoid the French Quarter added about twenty minutes to your trek, but it was the smarter option, given the string of muggings that seemed to plague the location, although the extra time didn’t help you escape your thoughts.

You and Cordelia had never fought like this. Sure, you bickered, but all it took was one well timed joke and the feeling was fleeting, replaced with poorly hidden smiles and ticklish sides. The arguments were meaningless, spurred on by minor miscommunications or the occasional poorly timed joke, never like this, if anything they were humorous. You knew Cordelia was protective, that she’d do anything for her girls, and you had grown to love her mama-bear tendencies, but she had never turned them on you.

You turned down an empty alley, a shortcut that would spit you out a few houses down from your destination, your desperation to get home overpowering your hatred of tiny, cramped, dimly lit spaces. You walked quickly, looking over your shoulder at every step, terrified that you would turn around and someone would be chasing you with an axe like the movies.

You glanced forward, a few more steps and you would be free, but as soon as you approached the exit, two men stepped into your view, and you stopped on a dime, “Going somewhere, witch?”

Witch Hunters.

Since the coven had gone public, more men were willing to join their ranks, and you turned on your heel and booked it the second they stepped in your direction. You never were a star athlete, though, and soon enough you were being pulled to the ground and restrained. You fought against it, earning a set of knuckles to the left side of your face, and you felt his ring scratch down your cheek as you tasted blood. You felt their hands everywhere, holding you down as three more blows hit, your stomach, the side of your ribs, and another to the face just for good measure. You tried to focus, but complete panic overwhelmed all your senses. You knew how to handle this. Cordelia had worked with you and trained you until you could do it in your sleep, but with the adrenaline pumping and the blood rushing through your ears you couldn’t seem to remember it at all, all you knew was that you had to get home to Cordelia to warn her, you couldn’t keep something from her again.

Somewhere in the haze you caught a flash of silver, a searing pain, and then the hands were gone. You didn’t remember pulling yourself up, but as you were dragging yourself back towards the house, you did remember having to dislodge your feet from under the dead bodies. It hurt to breathe, to stand, to move, but you mustered up what energy you could as you pulled yourself up the steps of the academy, wiping at your face as you spotted your car in the driveway, only for your hand to be covered in blood.

Your vision grew hazy as you reached for the doorknob, and you clumsily felt around till you were met with the cold, metal object, unable to trust your own eyes. You pressed your weight into the door, practically falling through and barely catching yourself on the entryway table. You spotted your lover in the kitchen, her back to you as you attempted to right yourself, “Dee…”

“I’m not talking to you.” She said shortly, shaking her head.

You lost your balance once more, falling into the wall this time. “No, Delia…” You tried again, your voice sounding strangled.

At the drop in your tone Cordelia was alarmed, shoulders squaring as she whipped her head around to meet your eyes. You didn’t think it was all that bad until you saw her expression, the way her eyes bugged out in horror, mouth gapping as she traced your form up and down, before her eyes landed on your stomach. You followed her gaze only to see a knife, and suddenly you were falling down, down, down.

You were pulsing in and out of consciousness, the world turning into a stop motion film. You saw her moving towards you, then she was on top of you, mouth forming around words and phrases you couldn’t seem to comprehend.

“What… Can you… Hold on… Stay with…”

You felt hands, first two on your face, tracing your cheekbone and calming you down. Then, you felt them everywhere, lifting you, and you fought against them with whatever strength you had left, deep laughs invading your mind as you felt those hands grip tighter and tighter. But then the rest of the hands were gone and there were those hands again, on your face and so soft, shushing you and lulling you into some limbo you didn’t know if you ever wanted to reach, running through your hair and grabbing your hand as you finally let the dark win.

“Just let it happen.”

Murmurs of familiar voices drew you into some semblance of consciousness. You couldn’t identify who was speaking, and for whatever reason, your eyelids felt like lead, unable to let even a sliver of light in.

But you could hear, the rustle of hair brushing against fabric, the tap of shoes.

“Not now.”

“You need to eat; it’s been two days.”

Then, a tone you recognized, still pleasant, but just enough bite to get the point across.

“I said not now.”

You tried to wiggle your fingers, flex your hands, show any sign of life, but there was some sort of disconnect between your body and mind, and it drove you nuts. Were you dead?

At the sound of the voice again, you wanted to reach out, to provide some comfort, but you couldn’t, and it made you want to scream. You were always claustrophobic, but this was a million times worse. You could feel your panic rising, the heat in your body constricting your lungs until you felt like you were suffocating. You heard a sound you couldn’t recognize, then the shuffling of feet.

“What’s going on?”

Then that voice, high pitched and panicked, “I don’t know.”

“Is she in pain? Do I need to get Mallory?”

That name, you knew that name, but why?

There was a pinch, then every nerve in your body was searing before going numb, the voices fading as you were desperately trying to claw your way back, losing your grip and falling into nothing once again.

When your eyes opened, the light blinded you and made your head throb, forcing you to shut them again. Slowly, you cracked one open at a time, trying to make sense of your surroundings. There were a pair of heels discarded by the bed, and the steady pounding of footsteps, one right after the other, a pause, and one right after the other again. You tried to lift your gaze up, only to be met with the glaring reflection of the sun rays in the mirror, and you shut your eyes and burrowed deeper under the covers. The footsteps stopped at the sound, stuttering against the hardwood, only to pick back up a moment later.

You cracked open one eye and looked down at the end of the bed, your girlfriend traversing the length of her bedroom, arms crossed, and a red thumbnail pinched between her teeth as she stared at the floor. You watched her for a moment, hair mused and lipstick smudged, wearing your favorite dress, and it almost brought a smile to your face, but then she turned around and you saw the dark maroon stain and everything came rushing back as your eyes snapped open.

She hadn’t changed, hadn’t washed her hands. The shoes discarded by your bed were the ones she was wearing, probably chucked to the side once the pain of the pacing had become too much to bear. You bit back tears, swallowed down the terror, and tried to speak, but your throat was dry and hoarse from the screaming. Your mouth moved over empty words, trying again and again until something finally fell out.

“You need to eat.”

Her gaze met yours, hands falling to her sides, but just as quickly as the relief had come, it was replaced by something haunted. She stepped towards you, arms reaching for you, then falling, then reaching again, until she settled on grabbing the sheets next to you, fingers fidgeting in the cotton. She met your eyes, looked away, looked back again, before choosing to stare at the headboard, “How are you feeling?”

You went with a joke, hoping to ease her discomfort, “Like I got stabbed.”

There was no laugh, no smile, not even a twitch at the corners of her mouth. You reached for her hand, rubbing your thumb along the back, but she pulled it away, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress as she stepped back. “I’ll get you some water.”

“Delia…” You called after her, images racing through your mind of the last time she left you alone, causing your heart to bang in your chest, but she was already out the door, her feet tapping on the stairs, growing quieter with each passing second.

When she finally returned, it felt like an eternity had passed. She handed you the glass without even sparing you a glance, searching the room for a moment before she returned to your side with full hands. The glass between your lips was quickly replaced by a thermometer, a blood pressure cuff slipped up your arm and squeezing as you whined in protest.

“Shh,” She chided you, her voice absent of any of the warmth that used to feel like coming home, “Your blood pressure is still elevated.”

“You need to eat.” You said again, only for her to ignore you, so you settled for questions, anything to make her actually talk to you. “How long was I out for?”

She glanced up at you, looking perplexed for a moment before shaking her head and refocusing on the task at hand. “Four days.” She finally said, her hands reaching for the nightstand and coming back with a vial.

“Is everyone ok?” You asked, watching her draw the liquid from the vial up into a syringe.

“The girls are fine.” She answered, too focused on checking for air bubbles to even spare you a glance. Something was wrong, you felt it in your bones, but she ducked and weaved through every emotion.

“Are you ok?” You asked, reaching for her but coming up short as she stepped back.

She looked at you then, eyes hazy as she shook her head, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” You challenged, only for her to glare at you.

“You need rest.” She said, her eyes leaving yours once more, lifting your blanket and repositioning your leg, “You’re still healing.”

You felt tears burning behind your eyes, the fear still lingering that if you dared to sleep, you wouldn’t wake up. “I want to talk to you.” You said, trying to ignore the way your voice cracked as you grabbed her arm, halting her movements.

Her face fractured then, but only slightly, and you swore you heard her sniffle back tears. You thought you had her, but then she was reaching and prying your fingers off of her, the alcohol wipe drying your skin and burning your nostrils. “You can,” She murmured, shaking her head once more, “After you rest.”

You shook your head as she uncapped the needle, trying to wriggle out of her grasp, but within moments you were frozen in place, the needle pinching your skin and warmth quickly spreading through your veins, making your body go limp and your eyes droop. “But…” You began, fighting to keep your eyes open, your mouth moving. She shushed you, bringing her hands to your face and pressing her lips to your forehead, but you knew it was only to placate you, to give you a sliver of hope that everything was alright.

Over the next few days, you barely saw her, despite being stationed in her bedroom. The girls came and kept you company, but every time you would ask about Cordelia, they would dance around the subject, sharing glances you couldn’t quite understand and making some excuse about paperwork before changing the subject entirely. They did their best to keep your spirits up, but they knew they weren’t who you wanted, and you tried to ignore the pitiful looks they threw in your direction when they thought you couldn’t see them.

The only time you saw her was when she was administering your medication, coming up with every excuse to not be able to stay during the day. She promised you more time in the evening, only to knock you out the moment you dared to ask about anything outside of the weather.

She wasn’t sleeping, you knew this because you lived in her bed and she wasn’t in it. That, and you had spent enough time studying her face over the past week that you noticed the bags under her eyes becoming darker and darker. She had finally changed her clothes, but you didn’t know how, given that she avoided you for a majority of the day. Maybe she was grabbing them after she forced you into unconsciousness, or maybe she stockpiled them in her office. You grew to hate the sunset, the orange haze making your skin crawl at the thought of what was to come. You felt violated from being forced into submission, and as the days dragged on, you couldn’t help but feel the fear that lodged itself in your throat every time she would appear.

A week in, you broke, curled into a ball with tears streaming down your face as you begged, but she just reached for the vial once again, murmuring something about how your body needed rest, always more rest. She reached to stabilize you and you retreated, pulling your legs close to your body and pushing further and further up the bed every time she would bridge the gap, almost knocking yourself to the floor in the process.

Cordelia didn’t understand, brow pinched together as you begged, “Please, just talk to me.” She shook her head imperceptibly, eyes blank as she reached for you again, and you shrieked, launching yourself off the bed and onto the floor, “No!”

Cordelia stared at you in shock, her eyes scanning your face for some semblance of reason, but you weren’t even looking at her, eyes trained on the syringe as your face contorted in fear. She followed your line of sight, then looked back at you, her stoic expression splintering as the realization dawned on her. The syringe clattered to the floor, and you finally tore your eyes away, staring back at her with that same terrified expression as her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry.” She choked, shaking her head as she forced herself to look away, her voice dropping to a whisper, “I can’t do this.”

You didn’t say anything as she walked out, couldn’t bring yourself to stop her, and as you sat on the floor and waited for someone to find you, you finally came to terms with your new reality, with the idea that even if you wanted it to, things would never be the same. You didn’t know how long you had been sitting there, but eventually Mallory picked you up from the floor and got you back into bed, foregoing your nightly medication. As the night drew on with no sleep in sight, you found you craved it, at least it was peaceful, unlike the war raging in your mind.

Something changed that day. The oblivion you once fought tooth and nail to stay out of had become your safe haven. By the time Mallory had visited you the next morning, you had demanded it, morning, noon, and night. You didn’t see Cordelia once in the week that followed, although with how much you were sleeping, you wouldn’t have noticed even if she had payed you a visit, although you doubted she did. Your supreme had always prided herself on her communication, but you knew her well enough to know that when it came to the hard things, it was the first to go. You didn’t know what you would say if she did decide to talk to you, didn’t know if there was anything to say.

Once they were sure you could manage to get around on your own, they let you return to your room, forcing you back into reality and removing every coping mechanism you had. You kept to yourself for the first few days, downing Benadryl like it was water and sleeping through most of the day. On the third day, you managed to stumble down for dinner, only for the seat at the head of the table to remain empty the entire time. The girls were all thrilled to see you, talking your ear off about all the things you had missed, but in your haze you could barely pay attention.

From the little you did hear, it seemed your supreme had found a way to solve your dilemma, convincing the man to change his story and drop the charges in exchange for a brand new, much nicer car. A quick and dirty fix that was so unlike her, you had to wonder what state she was in when she gave the green light. You told yourself it didn’t matter, that what was done was done, but when you went back to your room it was all you could think about, staring at the ceiling for as long as you could manage before you were reaching for the Benadryl once again.

You ran out on day four, and with it, so did your patience. You had cried and wallowed and overthought for weeks on end, an endless pit that did nothing but drag you down. You couldn’t live that way anymore, so you left your room, taking up residence in the common area and hoping the chatter would keep you grounded. You talked and laughed with the girls, but no matter how hard you tried, it all felt forced, a failed distraction from the emptiness that took up residence inside your chest. The harder you pushed, the worse it felt, and by the time dinner rolled around, you had reached some fucked-up form of acceptance, resigning to the fact that you probably wouldn’t ever feel whole again.

You saw her then, at the head of the table, talking quietly with some of the younger girls, and you forced yourself to keep your head down, pushing at your food, afraid that if she met your eyes, she would bolt again. It didn’t matter, she didn’t look in your direction once, not even when your youngest student, Lottie, called your name and asked you both to watch an incantation she had just learned, or as she called it, “A magic trick”. Despite the tightness in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at the innocence there, the way everything was still so new to her and full of wonder. You wished you still had that, like you had when you first came to the academy, before you learned of the consequences.

Cordelia was the first to leave the table, and the tension was palpable. You could feel everyone’s eyes drift to you, only to look away without a word. You grabbed your dish and headed towards the kitchen, depositing your untouched dinner in the trash and your plate in the sink.

“Well look who’s back to the land of the living.” You heard Madison call out from behind you, turning to face her. Madison was never one to beat around the bush, and you waited for the question to cut you like a knife, “Did you and Foxxy break up?”

You ground your teeth, jaw muscles flexing and releasing as you contemplated your answer, only to be hit with a punch to the gut when you realized you didn’t have one. You thought you had accepted it, whatever it was, but your eyes were glassy against your own volition, stomach twisting into knots as you spit out, “I don’t know.”

Madison’s smirk fell, the prideful look in her eyes replaced with something you couldn’t read. She didn’t push like you expected, she just nodded, and that was all you needed for your world to crack open, any strength you had left spilling out and vanishing. You grabbed your shoes and keys, heading for the door as they called out for you, saying you couldn’t leave, you weren’t strong enough yet, you could get hurt, but you didn’t care.

You didn’t care if your stitches ripped and you bled out in the middle of nowhere. You didn’t care if you were hit by oncoming traffic and left to die by the side of the road. You didn’t care if you fell off a cliff and they had to fish your body out of the river. Everything, your entire life, your entire world, was gone. There was nothing left for you, it was taken, and you didn’t care what happened next.

You arrived at the swamp with nothing but a bottle of whiskey. Misty had taken you out there once to gather mud, told you how sometimes it was the only place she could go to clear her head, her sanctuary, and you thought it might help, but as you downed the bottle and laid on her bed, you couldn’t help but feel like you were desecrating sacred land. You didn’t know how people did this, how they just kept going and moved on no matter what horrors they faced. You laid down and stared at the stars and cursed the world for spinning, for time moving, because you hadn’t moved in weeks. No matter what you tried, you were still trapped in that alley, in that bed, and nothing could pull you out of it.

Well, something could, or someone, maybe, if they tried, but even that wasn’t a sure thing. You would be an idiot if you didn’t acknowledge that this was more than just an issue with Cordelia, that even if you did talk, even if you did work it out, it wouldn’t fix everything.

But at least you wouldn’t feel so alone.

When you walked through the doors three days later, she was talking with a student at the foot of the stairs, her head raising involuntarily at the sound and her eyes locking with yours. You looked away quickly, leaving your muddy shoes by the door and depositing your keys on the counter, and by the time you went to head up the stairs to shower, she was gone.

She didn’t come to dinner that night, nor the night after, and despite the girls knowing enough to not ask questions, you could hear the faint whispers when they thought you weren’t paying attention. Lottie, however, wasn’t privy to this social knowledge, and she told you everything. Apparently, the three days you were gone was the most time that anyone had seen the supreme in a month. She was back to her usual self, she even started teaching classes again, but the second you came back, she disappeared once more.

You booked a ticket home that night for the following week, quietly packing your things over the course of the next few days. You didn’t know what the future for you held, but you did know you wouldn’t find any closure here, and you weren’t willing to continue subjecting the girls to whatever this was. It was too much, and you couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to get out.

You did your best to avoid telling the girls, not wanting to cause yet another spectacle for them to gawk at, but they seemed to figure it out anyways, and you weren’t sure how. They asked questions about your return, you did your best to dodge them, and for a few days it worked, until the older girls cornered you two days before you were set to leave.

“When are you coming back?” Zoe asked, trying to be delicate as she rephrased the question for the 50th time.

You sighed, “I told you, I don’t know. This isn’t as big of a deal as you guys are making it out to be. I just have some things to take care of.”

“Cut the shit, bitch.” Madison sneered, rolling her eyes, “We’ve all seen the way you and our dear supreme have been skulking around. Are you coming back or not?”

You didn’t want to tell them the truth, knowing if you did then Cordelia was sure to find out about it. You didn’t know what would hurt worse, knowing you left and didn’t give her a chance to fix it, or her finding out and doing nothing. But these were your friends, and despite wanting to have control over the situation, wanting to have the chance to break your own heart, you couldn’t lie to them. “I don’t know.” You finally said, “I don’t think so.”

Madison stared at Zoe with a raised brow, the two having a seemingly silent conversation over your head, but Zoe simply nodded and smiled at you, “Ok, that’s all we needed to know.”

They helped you pack, spent every meal with you, and even slept in your room, wanting to see you as much as possible before you left. It was a little strange to you, but you didn’t necessarily mind it, especially once you realized that the more time they spent with you, the less time they had to talk to Cordelia. They planned a movie night send off for you, gathering all the girls in the living room and handing out popcorn and snacks. After the first movie, you went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, Madison calling out for you.

“I left a twelve pack of coke in the greenhouse,” She yelled, “Can you go grab it? We’re almost out and I’m too lazy to get up.”

You rolled your eyes but complied, shaking your head as you wandered out toward the greenhouse, smiling to yourself for the first time in weeks. With the way the day had gone, it had almost made you feel guilty for leaving, almost made you change your mind, but the second you stepped through the greenhouse door, a familiar pair of eyes reminded you exactly why you were going.

When she glanced up at your smiling face you swore you saw a flash of happiness, but it was gone in a moment, replaced with that same look that had been haunting you for weeks, like you were intruding on something, but you still hadn’t figured out what. You felt your cheeks catch fire as you cleared your throat, not wanting to make this any more uncomfortable than it had to be, “Sorry, I just need to grab something, and I’ll be out of your hair.”

Cordelia nodded, eyebrows furrowing as she glanced back down, and you felt your nerves prickle beneath your skin, anger swirling in your gut at her display of confusion, like she was clueless.

Still, you didn’t want to cause a scene, didn’t need the added weight to carry with you, so you bit your tongue, heading towards the opposite side of the greenhouse once you spotted the red cardboard. You walked back towards the door with your head down, trying to leave the situation as quickly as possible, hand on the knob and pulling, only for the door to not budge, smacking your head on the glass. You stepped back, grabbing the knob and tugging again, but the door still wouldn’t move. You stood there awkwardly for a moment, not wanting to ask for help with something as simple as opening a door, but when you heard the blades of grass shuffle and the hushed whispers, you audibly groaned.

Cordelia glanced up, but only momentarily, “Is there something wrong?”

You sighed, “The door won’t open.”

You glanced back right as Cordelia looked up, her tone airy in that slight tell of annoyance, “Just open it.”

You glared back at her, “You try it then.”

She shook her head, “Just unlock it.”

“I can’t.” You huffed, crossing your arms and tapping your foot.

Cordelia sighed, “I meant…”

“I know what you meant.” You shot back, obviously annoyed. You were doing your best to keep it together, to act cordial, but it was difficult when Cordelia was treating you like a first-year student. “I can’t. My powers have been…” You explained, biting down on a sigh, “Temperamental, lately.”

That seemed to peak the supreme’s interest, her head tilting as she took a step towards you, “Temperamental as in you’re going to rip the door off its hinges?”

You huffed, choosing to stare anywhere else that wasn’t her, “Temperamental as in they don’t work.”

You didn’t think much of it when you heard her start to walk closer, knowing she wanted this conversation to be over just as badly as you did and was probably looking for a way to get you out of there. You didn’t expect to feel her cold fingertips graze your stomach, finding the hem of your shirt and tugging up as you whipped your head towards her, instantly batting her hands away. She glared at you, reaching for the hem once again with one hand, “We might not have gotten all the silver out.”

You grabbed her wrist, halting her movements, and glared back, “I seriously doubt that’s the issue.”

She sighed, pulling her wrist from your hand as she stood up straight, and you swear you saw her roll her eyes, walking towards the locked door and focusing. You could hear the lock click, but when Cordelia went to turn the knob, it wouldn’t move. She tried again, jiggling the knob in case it was stuck, but it still wouldn’t budge, so she resorted to yanking, only to hear Madison call out, “We enchanted the locks, bitch!”

Cordelia stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before you heard her also groan, and you couldn’t help but snicker at her frustration, at realizing what you had already known. She turned briefly towards the sound, before sighing and returning to her workstation and resuming whatever she was doing.

At some point, you started pacing the length of the room, arms crossed as you waited for the girls to give up, knowing they likely were standing outside and listening to the whole thing. You didn’t know how long it went on for, but your patience was growing thin and your steps were becoming firm, stomping back and forth, back and forth.

“What are you doing?” Cordelia finally sighed, glancing up with her jaw pitched forward, another tell of annoyance.

“Contemplating murder.” You sassed, Cordelia shaking her head as she tried to focus.

“Could you stop?” She asked in that same airy tone, “You’re distracting.”

You chuckled darkly, “What are you going to do? Knock me out again?”

She rested her hands on the table, her face unimpressed and her tone painfully even, “You needed the rest.”

Another snide laugh fell from your lips as you turned on your heel, still pacing as you mumbled, “Don’t tell me what I fucking needed.”

“You were seriously injured…” Cordelia sighed, like she was scolding a child.

You whipped back towards her, eyes blazing as you bit, “I needed you.”

“I was there.” Cordelia said, shaking her head for what felt like the millionth time.

“No, you weren’t.” You shot back as the supreme sighed.

“I’m sorry if I offended you or hurt you…” She began, but you couldn’t stand to hear it.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Cordelia.” You interjected, Cordelia throwing up her hands.

“What do you want me to say?” She asked, like you were being unreasonable.

You stood your ground, digging your heels in as you fired back, “Something that doesn’t sound like you’re reading from a script would be nice.”

“I’m not!” She yelled, throwing her head back as you resumed pacing once again, trying desperately to keep yourself in check so you wouldn’t explode.

She watched you pace, back and forth, back and forth, waiting for what she knew was coming, what she couldn’t avoid. It took you longer than she expected, a million questions pilling up on the tip of your tongue, one after the other until they all started to slide out like an avalanche.

“Are you still pissed off at me? Is that what this is?”

“No, I’m not.”

You turned on your heel, staring at her once again, your tone exasperated and snappy, “Then what the hell is it? Because you can barely stand to look at me.”

“I am looking at you.”

“No, you aren’t.” You shot back, “You haven’t for weeks, you haven’t talked to me…”

Cordelia sighed, asking again, “What do you want me to say?”

“Something.” You spit out, your volume increasing, “Anything!”

You stared at her for a moment, waiting, but she just stared back, mouth gaping like she couldn’t even begin to fathom how you both got into this situation. You turned away again, biting down on a scream of frustration and resisting the urge to bang your head against the wall until you knocked yourself out. You didn’t know if you wanted to burn the place down or burst into tears, but you could feel the pressure building in your chest, and you were terrified of the outcome. The words fell out of your mouth before you had the time to register them, “Is it because I failed?”

You could hear the confusion in her tone, “What?”

You swallowed down the tears that threatened to fall, cursing yourself as you turned to face her, “I failed. You taught me how to deal with witch hunters. We went over it time and time again, and I still couldn’t…”

She couldn’t stand the sight of your watery eyes, training her gaze on the table as she croaked out, “No, god no…”

“Then what is it?” You asked again, whatever fight you had left in you disappearing, “Because I’ve been wracking my brain for weeks now, looking for some kind of reason...”

You watched her crack, just a bit, nose twitching against the ghost of tears as she shook her head and stuttered, “It’s not your fault, none of it is your fault. It’s…”

She stopped and shook her head, bracing herself on the desk as her chest heaved. You gave her a moment, not wanting to screw anything up when you were so close to getting the answers you had been searching so desperately for, but when she didn’t move to continue, you prompted her, “It’s?”

She looked up at you then, really looked at you, with tears in her eyes, moments away from spilling over, and you stepped toward her on instinct. She looked back down, clearing her throat as she tried to right herself, “It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”

You stepped toward her again, not sure you heard her right, “What?”

“It’s my fault you got hurt.” She clarified, and you shook your head, unable to speak, but she silenced you regardless, “I took the car, I made you walk home. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and you had to pay the price.” You shook your head, still unable to find your voice, but then you heard hers, weak and broken, “And I can’t ever express to you how sorry I am for that.”

“You didn’t know…” You squeaked, “You couldn’t know…”

She shook her head, “It doesn’t matter. It’s my job to protect my girls, all my girls, and I failed. I failed to protect you.”

“You- You saved me.” You stuttered, and the supreme shook her head.

“I fixed the damage I caused.” She sneered, but you knew her tone wasn’t directed at you.

“Delia...” You tried, taking another step towards her, but she held out her hand.

“If I can’t prioritize the safety of the girls over my own emotions, I’m no better than my mother.” She spit between gritted teeth, looking away to wipe at a tear once she saw your hurt expression.

You shook your head, “You could never be your mother.”

She shook her head, but didn’t respond, so you stepped forward, closing the gap between you and reaching for her, but she pushed you away, and that’s when it hit you.

She wasn’t trying to hurt you, she wasn’t punishing you, she was punishing herself. All this time you had been flipping your brain inside out, trying to find the meaning behind every look, every blank expression. But she wasn’t looking at you in disgust, she was in pain.

But the way she was looking at you now, you knew that look, had seen it time and time again, when she wanted something but couldn’t bring herself to ask for it, so you did. “Delia? Kiss me? Please?”

The look morphed as her brows pinched together, her eyes going dim as she shook her head. You begged and pleaded, wanting nothing more than for that look to return, for her to touch you and hold you and for everything to be ok again, but she wouldn’t relent. As soon as you started pleading, she stepped back and looked away, unable to bear the sight of you.

Something finally snapped, and everything you had been pushing away for the past month came rushing in like a tidal wave. You felt it buzzing in your chest, creeping up and up and up, spreading out to your limbs and making your entire body burn. You stalked towards the door, tugging on it again and again and again, bracing your feet on the walls and putting your whole body weight behind it. You looked ridiculous, but you didn’t care, you couldn’t care.

At some point, Cordelia must have turned around, watching you struggle for a moment before she finally spoke, “It won’t open.”

“I don’t care.” You seethed, “It needs to.”

You settled for sitting on the ground, bracing yourself against a table and kicking with your feet, “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“I. Don’t. Care.” You spat, punctuating each word with a kick. When that didn’t seem to work, you settled for throwing your entire body against the door, hoping if you couldn’t break the lock, then you could at least crack the doorframe.

“You are still healing.” Cordelia said, walking towards you and reaching, but you batted her away, “You shouldn’t be doing any strenuous activity for at least another two weeks.”

You finally stopped, your body vibrating as you stared Cordelia down, “I don’t care. I have a plane to catch tomorrow.” Her brow furrowed, and you turned back towards the door, banging on it with your fists, “I have things to do!”

“Where are you going?” Cordelia asked, arms crossing.

You turned back towards her, throwing up your hands, “Home, Cordelia. Where else would I go?”

You watched her face contort, watched the hurt flash across her eyes, and you couldn’t stand it, “Don’t look at me like that.”

Cordelia scoffed, beginning to grow defensive, “Didn’t you want me to look at you?”

“Not like that.” You bit, “You don’t get to look at me like that, like I’m hurting you. Not after what you did.”

“According to you, I didn’t do anything.” She snapped, and you knew she was baiting you now.

“Exactly. You did nothing.” You spit between gritted teeth, whipping around and punching the door as hard as you could.

“You’re bleeding.” Cordelia stated, staring at the smear of blood on the door, then glancing at your busted knuckles.

“Good.” You bit, punching the door again, and a third time for good measure.

“Stop.” She called out sternly, but you were too far gone to listen, hitting, scratching, clawing, and kicking the door repeatedly as you lost it completely, “Stop!”

“I need to get out of here.” You huffed, “I need to go home.”

Your face smacked against the door as you slammed against it with your shoulder, tasting blood as you swallowed down the tears that were forming. Memories ripped through your mind in quick succession, a blow to your face, a kick to your ribs, and then the room constricted in time with your lungs, the walls moving closer, and closer.

You started screaming at some point, you felt it, but you could barely make it out in between the gaps in your heartbeat that was pulsing in your ears. You threw yourself against the door, harder and harder as the tears flowed in lava rivers down your face. Cordelia reached for you, shushing you and grabbing the empty space as you pulled away, screaming about home, how you needed to go home, get on a plane and never come back. How she hurt you and she didn’t care, she never cared, how all of this was a mistake, how you were a mistake.

You felt her hands grab you quickly, spinning you around before you could push her away, and then her lips were on yours and she was kissing you hard, hands pushing and pulling and grabbing anywhere they could reach, leading you away from the door and bumping into anything in your path. She kissed you like she was starving, teeth clashing and biting, nails scratching and pinching and ripping, but you were the same, and now that you had her, you couldn’t let her go. You let every part of her invade your senses, her wet cheeks pressing against your own, her gritty hands and cold rings and the taste of red wine on her tongue.

You didn’t come up for air until she pushed you against the opposite wall, lungs burning and desperate for oxygen, but even as she pulled back, you leaned forward, not wanting to face whatever came next. Your chests heaved into one another as you both stared wide eyed, and in that split second of nothing it all came crashing down. You watched her, watched her watch you, felt her chest push against you and a sob tear out of her throat, and you followed right behind her, closing your eyes as you braced for her to pull away, leaving you cold and empty once again.

Instead, she rested her forehead against yours, whimpering I’m sorry, I’m so sorry and I love you over and over and over again as she pressed her mouth to yours, pushing air into your lungs and sucking it right back out, her hands on your forearms, anchoring you in place. You held onto her hair like a lifeline, your legs giving out from exhaustion and suddenly you both were falling, but she didn’t let go.

You landed on your knees and collapsed into her, her arms wrapping around you as she pulled you to her chest, her lips pressed to your forehead and fingers carding through your hair as she whispered that same mantra, over and over and over again. You didn’t know what she was doing, didn’t know if she knew what she was doing, but with every pull of her fingers it felt like your memories of the past month were being extracted one by one, racing across your vision as the tears gave way to wails of anguish, her own cries increasing in time with yours. You felt it all over again, every ounce of emotion like it was the first time, and you didn’t know how she was doing it, or why.

When it was over, you had nothing left, no tears, no voice, no screams, nothing. You looked up at Cordelia in a daze, but she just smiled sadly back at you. You tried to speak, but your brain was fried, exhaustion quickly taking over your senses. Cordelia looked down at you knowingly, her fingers running down your cheeks as she shushed you, but you shook your head, afraid that if you gave in, you would wake up alone. She shushed you once more, kissing your forehead as she whispered, “I’m not going anywhere, it’s ok.”

[tomatoswup]

good night ☾ 2

summary: having the Vash plushie as a companion is a big help but sometimes you can't help but think about the past. Vash plushie to the rescue!

the plushie series: 1 , 2 , 3

warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, fluff? vash plushie is such a sweetheart :'),

A/N: i can't help but bring my angst urges into things okay im sORRY LMAOOKDNSLKNF but fr i 100% believe the plushie is gonna try to cheer you up when you're sad like ugh u lil cute thing plz. Hope yall enjoy this lil thing! am waiting for june to come

To be honest, the cute little guy really helped you a lot mentally, stopping those depressing filled nights and nightmares that you’ve had after that event from engulfing your conscious.

Has it been 2 years already? Time flies doesn't it? You never really noticed how aware the plushie was until he asked you if you were alright one night.

Sometimes he’d cuddle against your cheek to, in his words, "help" you sleep, and other times he’d sleep under your blanket, but the poor thing had nightmares of its own too.

Often times you’d catch him whimper and curl into a small ball in his sleep, to which you couldnt help but put your hand out and softly rub the top of his head with your finger to soothe the poor plushie.

But the lil’ thing was a trooper! He’s up the next morning urging you to get some donuts for breakfast and man.

You've never seen the plushie so happy that he almost popped a stitch! He ran around in circles, jumping up and down around your feet so much when you came back to your camp with a box of them that you kinda got scared you were gonna step on him.

"The pink one!" He screeched out, elated as you picked out a pink sprinkled donut and handed it to him. The damn donut was the same size as himself!

"Hey! Be careful!" You shouted out, watching as the small figure tumbled down a small sand hill with the donut, causing you to sweatdrop.

Why'd he kinda look like a tumbleweed....

You heard him squeak out from below, before seeing him cutely hop up to your temporary camp, a big bite already visible on the donut as the nibs of his arms held it up above his head "I-Im okay!"

“Good! I don’t think I have any sewing supplies to fix you bud.” You grinned as he waddled over to where you sat at the fire.

"What'cha making?" He curiously asked as he peeked around your ankle. Poking at the cooking fire, you looked down at him, the blue beady eyes of his staring into the fire "Well, I'm cooking some chicken I had left-over from the other day." You smiled down at him as he jumped up and down "FOOD!"

You couldn't help but giggle at the excitement the plushie gave out, how did he even digest things? You haven't really seen him eat anything during his time traveling with you but maybe that was a question for another time.

"Ya know," You couldn't help but say "I think my friend would've liked you.." You softly smiled, turning to the fire as you turned the roasting chicken.

"Friend?" He tilted his head "What friend?" You stared on into the fire, the wind blowing the heat mildly into your face "You haven't met him, but it was a friend I deeply loved."

"You loved him?"

"..." You couldn't help but put your knee up to rest your head on "Yeah, I did. But they passed a few years ago." You heard the plushie take another bite of his donut before coming up and plopping down to sit beside you "Never got to tell him I did though.." You quietly chuckled as the plushie looked up at you, a dead stare had been painted on your face as if it were a past that hurt to touch.

The Vash plushie stayed quiet before taking another bite of his donut "Well, I think you're a very pleasant person to be with! I mean, you've taken care of me pretty well!" He squeaked out "You treat others with the respect they give back! You're a kind person!" His feet started moving up and down.

"I think he would've loved you too."

AWWWWWWWALSFfknsk

You couldn't help but let out tears at the comforting words the plushie provided you as he patted your leg, telling you it was okay and that you weren't a bad person for having continued with your life without him. To which he proceeded to trying to do cartwheels to cheer you up you didn't want to admit it kind worked. But at some point you asked him to stop because the poor thing had been on its 5th failed attempt, every time belly-flopping onto the ground.

"Okay okay, I'm okay now Vash!" Trying to get the lil' guy to stop, you took a whiff of the air before freezing "I-Is the chicken burning?"

"Yup!"

GODDAMN IT-

You owed this plushie another donut.

And the night passed, you having slept better than most other nights. But the two of you had to hit the road again, getting packed up and ready to go by the morning.

Back in his usual place in the pocket of your shirt, he put up an arm nib and pointed it forwards "LET'S GOOO!" Snorting at his burst of energy, you began your stride in the sand once again with the map in hand.

"We're not far from getting to the city, I'm estimating one more day before we arrive." You said, fixing the hat on your head from the glaring sun before squinting ahead at something that caught your eye "You see that too right?"

The plushie's eyebrows furrowed as he copied you, squinting and physically pushing himself forwards to see if he could see closer "A man?"

The sight of a man in black stuck out like a sore thumb in the tanned desert just a few feet away from the two of you. A grey motorcycle propped up next to him as the man tuned and did something to the metal's gears.

He looked a bit familiar, too familiar.

"I think I know hi-" You wondered out before the plushies' loud and high pitched scream interrupted you.

"HELLOOOOOO!!!!"

The man turned and there you were met with a pair of sunglasses and the mischievous grin of someone whos' gospels often had you wanting to beat him half to death.

"Well well! Fancy meeting you here!"

oh god....

[awrkive]

re: anon who just asked u if u received my ask i was talking about the ask thats about tlp! it was about asking for confirmation about tlp timeline??? like if im correct jk and mingyu were bff in undergrad, then thye had a falling off during third year then after grad they never saw each other up until nayeons engagement party right??? and then for the tlp surgeons gang oc and jk knew each other first in first year, then doyeon, then tae in second year, then nayeon during internship?? this is so incoherent but tl;dr i just would like to know the tlp timeline starting from mingyu and jk relationship!!

OHHH OMG i went thru my inbox just now and i didnt really receive it ): it may be tumblr just doing its thing. i see from other blogs here that some asks get lost sometimes sorry about that!! ANYWAY.

below is the official TLP TIMELINE from undergrad to postgrad days. putting it under the cut jic some people are still waiting for the finale to read the entirety

TLP TIMELINE

UNDERGRAD:

1st year-3rd year college: jungkook and mingyu bff era (studied premed together) see their history here

around 3rd year: jungkook dated his first girlfriend park jiyeon. but later on she cheated on him with mingyu. mingyu and jk's friendship was broken off after that

4th year: jk started to date a lot lol a trauma response from his previous experience. wouldnt say he was a fuckboy tho just that he started to get out there more!!! he had and still is having a hard time dating seriously because of what happened with jiyeon.

after graduation, mingyu and him lost contact (intention on both sides most esp jk)

POST GRAD (MED SCHOOL)

1st term, 1st year med school: jk met oc at the law library with his law student friend jimin (see drabble)

2nd term, 1st year med school: jk met doyeon. doyeon develops a crush on jk. the three (oc jk doyeon) formed a study group. oc and eunwoo went out more.

around 2nd sem-ish of first year: oc starts developing feelings for eunwoo (mentioned in part 1 main story how). she then started seeing eunwoo time to time BUT she was pretty much single the entirety of her freshman year in med school

1st sem, 2nd year: taehyung joins the study group. oc and eunwoo became official

3rd year, med school: eunwoo and oc had a falling out. there was an almost confession and kiss that happened between jk and oc (mentioned in pt2) so OC does know that jk liked her BEFORE. but oc and eunwoo dated e/o again.

4th year, med school: jungkook and min sora dated. eunwoo proposed to oc. jk and sora broke up after a year of dating (all of this are mentioned pt2).

RESIDENCY

internship year (1st year residency): oc and eunwoo broke up. nayeon was a co intern and the 5 became friends!

2nd year residency: oc single era. had a hard time moving on from eunwoo for two years ):

3rd year residency: oc has just been dating casually/going to blind dates. so is jk.

4th year residency: PRESENT TIME. this is where the main story starts. oc dates mingyu then yadda yadda.

A LITTLE BIT OF CONFIRMATION

was jungkook really inlove with her for the whole timeline?

i went into detail about this in part 3 but what i will say is that. he had a HUGE crush on oc for the entirety of freshman year but he was really indenial about his feelings. the reason why is bcs he was a bit scared of loving somebody again. and it wasnt too long since park jiyeon around that time so that was definitely a huge factor. he only admitted to himself that he was inlove with oc during second year, when oc and eunwoo had already become official. he tried to move on a lot of times bcs eunwoo and oc just seemed really perfect for each other. this is basically what he does for the entirety of 8 years tbh: try to move on from oc. then dipping back. try to move on again. then dip back. he couldnt make a move for the entirety of 4 years. miss maam was in a pretty much solid relationship. then its another 2 years of oc moving on from eunwoo. the remaining 2 years is just a lot of back n forth of fears and doubts and uncertainties. he admits to being a coward but i think ultimately he respects their friendship a lot and would never want to jeopardize it, hence why it took him so long to confess (and it didnt even come out right lol)

[swiftfootedachilles]

hiiii achilles!!!!!!! how are you today? i miss your gallavich hot takes so do you have something in mind? have a good day 🌷

well apparently my big gallavich hot take is them having a jewish wedding 😭

okay. hmmm, actual unpopular hot takes? i gotchu

i want more intersex headcanons (that are well-researched and not fetishizing intersex people!). i want more t4t mlm gallavich. and i DEFINITELY want more t4t trans!mickey nonbinary!ian gallavich. because amab people are just as transgender as anyone else even if they dont take hormones or drastically change their appearance or change their name. nonbinary people arent women lite and men lite, theyre nonbinary. and i think nonbinary!ian is so slay

ian does not enjoy bottoming. even when he consented to doing it with trevor, he didnt actually like it. he simply tolerated it

when staying with the gallaghers, ian and mickey are very brazen about their sex life and dont try to stay quiet or even close their door sometimes, BUT they wont fuck in common areas like the kitchen and living room unless it was on the couch and they were 1000% sure there was NO chance of any of the kids walking in on them. they wouldnt traumatize liam or franny like that (stfu s5 doesnt count bc they knew liam was too young to have memories yet 😭 (speaking of, why does nobody ever talk about the fact that liam was 2 years old for like 3 whole years 😭😭))

their "security" business as it is in the finale isnt very sustainable. it literally started as money laundering, and ian didnt know. i think he eventually finds out by accident thru kev or vee what mickeys original "security business" plan was, and he gets super pissed. but i think they could very easily turn it into a legal business. we see them starting to do that, by working with real dispensaries instead of the shady illegal one kev and vee have in the bar. nevertheless, id like to read more future fics where they grow or adapt the business, and even move on to a new business altogether! theyre not exactly the career-having type. i think change over time actually helps stabilize them

THEY NEED TO PAINT THAT FUCKING AMBULANCE. ITS STOLEN. WHY DONT THEY EVER PAINT IT ALL BLACK OR SOMETHING?? WHERE DID THEY GET THE NEW PLATES. DID THEY EVEN CHANGE THE PLATES?? the s4 writers would never let a scam have so many plot holes 😔 they wouldve SHOWED us mickey and his brothers getting new plates for the truck

ian gets a tattoo for mickey. youre telling me that after the surprise anniversary party, you think ian WOULDNT get mickey somehow immortalized on his body? WRONG. he definitely does. i dont think its his name over his heart. maybe something small on his wrist? or M on his ring finger💜 thats a fav headcanon of mine

they dont start a family until close to 40. the longer theyre married, the more they realize they have to catch up on. learning to live together long-term, paying off debts and bills, moving, vacations, reconnecting with old friends and family, being there for liam where theu couldnt for their other siblings when they were liam's age, watching their nieces and nephews often to gain more caretaking and parenting skills, medical issues, family emergencies. theres just a lot that takes up their time, and they become very comfortable being two before they ever try to become three

they nonseriously say shit like "i want a divorce" but they NEVER mean it. even when one says it as a joke or like in s11e3, the other will ask "did you really mean that? do you really want a divorce? do you think we'll ever get one?" and they end up having a rare super serious heart-to-heart about it. about what they think the future might hold - or at least, what they want it to hold. the longer they are with each other the more stable their relationship becomes. bickering is less common, big fights are less explosive and violent, and they learn to become comfortable with silence

[rans-rubbish]

Memory • Xiao

Description: You promised him you'll come back, thousands of years later he still believes you. Is it finally time for you to meet again?

A/n: English in not my first language so sorry for any mistakes, not proofread. Also idk what to do for part 2 huhu T-T

Tags: [reincarnation] [angst/little comfort] [reader died]

Fire and explosion lit up Xiao's dim eyes, sparks of light making it seem like he held the galaxy in his pupils. Those same eyes looked at you, not with the usual soft and loving gaze but instead with regret and despair.

"Xiao... please dont look at me like that" you pleaded.

You reach out your hand to touch his cheek, where a few tears have started to stream.

He dared to be weak around you, even when he's at war.

"Dearest, keep your eyes open, will you?" He clutched your hand.

"I will, I will." you chuckle.

You look up to see the blood-stained clouds. The once blue sky was now red in colour, and reflected nothing but the misery of the world.

"Once the sky is clear and the dust have settled, promise to find me at our spot." You requested.

"I promise, i promise to find you even if it takes a thousand years." Xiao declares.

As you take your last breath, Xiao cant help feel infuriated towards the deities and gods, for dragging those who are innocent in a war full of violence.

~

Xiao recalls your last moments while sitting beside a lake.

After millenniums he still remembers all the little details. How can he ever forget you, when you were the only one who made his life worth living.

Ever since that war, ever since that moment he has promised to protect the innocent people of Teyvat. He knows it's what you would've wanted.

Whenever he felt turmoil, he would go to your favourite place. To your spot.

The place was tranquil and quiet, as if a leaf falling can be heared. Tall trees surrounded the area and lush greenery filled the territory.

A small, clear lake can be found at the eye of it. With small fishes and big boulders around it.

He'll never forget that time you tried taking a seat on one of those rocks and took a swim with the koi.

He also recalls that time you made flower crowns using the flowers around the forest.

And that time you climbed a tree and couldnt figure out how to go back down.

He misses those times, he misses you. A lot.

Xiao doesnt notice but after thousands of years, he's slowly starting to forget your face. When he tries to picture your features in his mind, he misses a couple details or sometimes he cant remember the spark in your eyes and how they reflected the stars.

While in a trip down memory lane, he lost track of time and soon the moon began to rise.

The lake was even more beautiful at night with the moon casted on the crystal waters.

He can only wish to stay here forever, but unfortunately he's gonna have to leave.

Songs of night birds and barks of animals filled the night, behind the chime of wild animals were the sound of breaking leave and footsteps.

He didnt think much of it as in can only be monsters, and he really didnt want to spill blood around this area so he ignored it and headed to the direction of Liyue's towns.

That was, until he heard a voice.

"Uhm hello? Is anyone there? Please I dont mean any harm! I'm just lost" someone called out.

Xiao can feel his heart racing, his mind was lost in thought. He feels like his chest is about to burst.

Is it really you?

He knows the chances are slim, and he doesnt want to get his hopes up. But part of him still yearns that it's you he's facing right now.

"Stop right there! Dont move an inch closer" He said, eyes wandering around, looking for the person who spoke.

Xiao spotted a figure near the trees, a floor length cloak covering their face and body.

"Please, I was traveling to Liyue but my horse wandered off to the forest! Now I cant find my way back on track." They said as they took of their cloth, trying to prove they're human.

As the cloak drops to the soil, so does Xiao's heart.

How can someone, have such similar voice and figure as you?

Could it be...?

You took a step closer to him leaving the shadows. The dim moonlight illuminated your face.

"Y/n?" Xiao whispered.

[robinismywifee]

in my room || pt. 1

pairings madly inlove!ellie williams x madly inlove!reader

summary based of the song, in my room by insane clown posse

warnings reader stalks ellie? just lowkey creepy reader, reader has trouble eating due to her mothers death, not much warnings for this chapter since its the backstory and how they met, but theres gonna be KINKY smut in the other chapters

a/n idk how many chapters this will be, 3-5?? its in 3rd pov with some flashbacks that are 1st pov and i really hope nobody has based an ellie fic off this song bc im really proud of it since it was my own idea lol, also i think for the next short fic i do its gonna be like an 80s camp consular thing if u guys want that??

wordcount 4k

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

—

aime and ellie had been best friends ever since they met eachother. ever since aime first laid eyes on ellie, she knew she was going to be hers, ellie didnt even know she existed, but she was hers.

aime remembers the first time seeing ellie like it was yesterday, even though it was almost 6 years ago.

aime was walking down the road of jackson, walking down to get food, and stopped by the horse stables when she heard a mention of new people.

"yeah, apparently it was actually just tommys brother" the older male teenager said from inside the stable

"tommy has a brother? and he has a neice? i didnt know that, where were they?" the slightly younger, also male, teenager said, also from inside the stable

"no, the girl wasnt his kid, i heard her calling him by his name and tommy didnt know her, i dont know their relation but theres a rumor that they traveled from maine to here on feet"

"that's impossible, and why would he travel all those states with some kid? maybe he knew her mom"

"yea, i have no fucking clue.. hey give me a hand with this-"

and with that, aime was back on her feet, done with easedropping

hmm.. a new girl and a new man?

aime didnt know anything about it. she had just gotton back from sneaking outside the walls, only coming back because the empty feeling in her stomach was getting to hard to ignore

she walked into jacksons cafeteria, immediately spotting the back of girl with brown hair (with lots of red undertones) tied up into a ponytail, sitting next to a bigger man, aime immediately noticed the food the girl had stuffed into her pockets.

she walked quietly over and hid herself behind a pilar that held the building up, well not actually but in her little 14 year old brain, if that thick wood pilar were to be chopped off, the whole roof would come down with it.

she peaked over the piller, now infront of the girl, able to see her face.

and thats when she felt it. its impossible to describe with measly words of what she felt, but she just knew. she saw the girls eyes, she could tell from the meters away she stood, that they were the most beautiful eyes she's ever seen. they were green, the edges of her eyes lighter, more like chartreuse, but got darker in the middle, like a juniper green, and is that a mix of cedar brown in there too?

after getting lost in the unknown girls eyes, she moved her back behind the pilar, hiding herself completely, she couldnt help but a small smile forming. the bright energy she carried radiated off her. shes mine.

the day after, she watched out her window as the girl from the food center, which she learned by now her name was ellie.. what an adorable, name.. it suited her face so well.. escaped with one of the horses from the stables. she had watched as she rode off, peaking over her shoulder making sure nobody saw her leave, which nobody did, execpt of course aime, but aime didnt mind her leaving, because she knew she was to see her again, and would finally then introduce herself.

it wasnt for months until ellie came back. the guy who she came with, tommy's brother, which aime had also learned awhile backs name was joel, came back with her as well. they both were fearly bruised, scarred, but they came back.

her girl came back for her.

aime had lived in an empty house, it was small, only one floor, but it still had two bedrooms, but technically only one considering the other bedroom was boarded shut with wood and nails across the doorframe, leaving everything inside the room completely abandoned.

it was her mothers room. the same mother that had tought aime to kill every person in sight that wasn't her, no matter their pleads or screams, no matter if they did absolutely nothing wrong. if they breathed it was a threat.

it felt weird, after going her whole entire life of killing every single person without a second thought, to just.. not. to just.. let the strangers pick her up and drag her to saftey.

i cradled my mother that was covered head to toe in blood, holding her head in my lap, i stared blankly down at her, the emotion i felt was overwhelming, my vision was foggy, blurring, blackening, my chest was moving up and down rapidly, but my eyes didnt even near water.

my mom always had a lot of rules i needed to follow, and to never cry was one of them, she told me it meant i was weak, and it was a threat for our lives to be weak, to show emotion to others.

my ears also rung, i knew there was people around, their light beamed down onto us, i was waiting for them to shoot us, i mean, why wouldnt they? some girl comes to the gates of their community, skin and clothes soaked and covered completely in crimson red, matching the women she held as she collapsed to the floor.

but when my vison faded to black, the ringing got louder, and louder, until it was completely dark and silent.

2 days later, im sitting in a chair, leaned over, my elbows to my knees, hand cupped tangled into my mothers. she layed in the hopsital bed, tubes connected to her, a moniter beeping

i was inside a community. the community that i showed up to the gates. i had passed out, and they took us both in, immediately getting my mother that had a gunshot wound to the head medical attention, she's still alive, the bullet only grazing her, but not conscious, the doctor says its a coma, and she could wake up in one minute, or never, and theres no way to tell, and they also couldnt tell how messed up she was until she woke up. i had only passed out asleep, a really deep sleep from how exhausted i had been from doing all that running with no sleep for days and no food or water for too long.

me and my mother had to leave the cabin that we had been staying at since a horde of runners was coming through and we didnt have enough supplies to take them down, and while trying to find a new home, we ran into these guys, it didnt go well. but when i saw burning smoke from not too far ahead, i dragged my mother's unconscious body towards it, just in hopes that it was a community home to moral people. i had collapsed at the gates once i had gotten there, i couldnt even push out a single word, i though my mother had died,

i had broken so many rules. i trusted these people. let them take us in, i wanted them to. i asked for their help. i didnt kill them, i still havent killed them, i dont want to kill them!

the community is called jackson, aime had asked the guy, whos wife was basically the leader, his name tonmy, why he took her in, he asked why wouldnt he, and explained to her that her and her mother were no threat, and she was just a child, with her hurt mother that did no harm. he gave them their own home, aimes mother got moved into it too, still in her coma.

that was when aime was 11. her mom didnt wake up for almost 3 years, and when she did wake up, she wasnt good. it took weeks for her to gain full consciousness, and when she was fully conscious, it was only a week before she passed.

some stupid infection apparently.

then, 2 weeks later, ellie showed up again.

aime watched from her bedroom window as ellie and joel walked on the path, accompanied by tommy and maria. ellies eyes were empty, she didnt have the energy she radiated before, and aime was determined to regain her the energy.

aime had already planned out how she was gonna interact with ellie and how she was gonna get her to fall inlove. she decided on not introducing herself until a few days or maybe even a week after her arrival. ellie was already getting bombarded by everyone, so once everyone calmed down, aime was gonna make ellie speak to her first.

aime had spent the next 5 days sneaking around and.. well, stalking ellie. she needed to find out what she was like, what her interests were, her pet peeves, that kind of stuff.

ellie liked astronomy, books about space and planets, that type of stuff, were stored into her room on her shelf, while a half opened comic of ‘savage starlight’ seemed to be what she was currently reading. ellie liked to draw and write, even more if she was listening to her walkman during it, aime assumed that she used writing to get her thoughts out or maybe as a coping mechanism. aime had a strong temptation to sneak into ellies room and snoop through her journal and see what she wrote about, or to even check what music was in her walkman, but she knew that was going too far and if she were to get caught, it would ruin everything.

she also saw ellie talking to dina and jesse a few times. aime bit back her jealousy when she did, dina and jesse were dating and have been for awhile and so clearly are inlove with one another and aime shouldnt worry about them getting in the way.

aime didn’t necessarily have friends, she was really quiet, reserved, she wasnt even supposed to be in a community, ever, and under the circumstances of her mom, people understood why she wasnt bright and cheery. the only time she talked was when she was spoken to, but aime decided she needed to push past it, and finally become a real person. finally have a fucking personality.

a few months after aimes first arrival when she was 11, maria had talked to her about putting some work in, aime undertsood, as she was getting free medical care for her mother, free food, free water, free shelter, and agreed on it, at first maria put her on teaching the young kids how to read and write, but aime hated it, and begged maria to do patrol with the older teenagers, but since she was only 11, maria said no, and put her on teaching kids self defense. aime had tought the kids how to protect themself from others for 2 years before maria finally agreed for aime to do group patrol.

aime was the only 13 year old allowed to go on patrol, after maria had seen how good she was and after aime begging for years, she was the exception.

aime woke up early, gently brushing her hair till it was smooth and soft. she decided on folding the peices of her hair to make two french braids, her hair ending a few inches below her shoulders, from the hot and sticky weather. it was spring, and the weather had been unpredictable, going from rainy and gloomy one day to sunny and sticky the next. today was a sunny-hot day. she splashed cold water on her face, patting it dry, and applied cherry scented lip balm that glossed her pink lips and left a red tint.

her patrol group had rode past some old underwear store a few weeks ago, and aime had snuck behind the group, searching until she found a pair that looked close enough to her size. she wore the bra she had gotten from that day, pushing up her small breasts to make them look full, and put on a simple white tank top, just barley showing off her cleavage. she just wore regular jeans with it, they were dark blue, warn out, hugging her hips perfectly, the bottom of them got baggy, covering the hightop part of her converse. she should probably wear her boots today, it had rained a few days ago and would be muddy, but ellie wore her converse shoes everyday so aime would wear hers too, to match.

once the girl was ready, she stuck her lipgloss into her pocket just in case, and left.

“hey aimees! you’re up pretty early” jesse smiled, as he sat on one of the bar stools to the same cafeteria where aime first saw ellie. jesse was super friendly, he definitely would call aime his friend, if not, his best friend, but aime wouldn’t consider him her friend. its not that she didnt like him, she actually found him quiet amusing, but she wasnt really the people type and didnt like opening up to people.

“yeah, i woke up at 5, couldnt fall back asleep so i just thought i’d take my time getting ready and actually get breakfast for once” i nodded

“troubles with sleeping again? maria has pills for that i think if you ask her about it im sure she wouldn’t mind giving you some” he said with that look in his eyes that everyone else had been giving her lately

“jesse, stop”

“stop what? im just trying to help”

“yeah, thats the problem, i dont need help, and stop giving me that sad look”

jesse stayed quiet, aime left him, ording some food, once she had gotten it, she came back and sat down, staring at it. she never was good with eating, but ever since her mothers death, its been worse. she picked at the pancake with her fork. the only reason she had gotten food was because maria talked to her the other day about how she never eats and she asked her to grab food before patrol today, she said she would, and she alwyas keeps her word. she didnt think it would be this hard, but now that the food was infront of her, she felt sick.

“you okay?” jesse asked

“m’ great” aime hummed, slicing off a peice of pancake and shoving it into her mouth. she slowly ate, a simple conversation with jesse going on between, when suddenly he asked about her.

“have you met ellie yet?”

aimes eyes widened, but quickly went to normal. jesse didnt notice. “uh, no? is that the new girl?” she asked looking up from he food, she asked as if she didnt spend every other second of her day thinking about her. hell, two nights ago she spent, watching her.

“yeah, she’s actually pretty cool, and she said she would come here this morning and dina too, thats why i was here in the first place, they should be here soon”

“hm” aime hummed quietly, pretending not to care. jesse continued talking about dina, just him thinking outloud basically, until he stopped mid sentence to start a new sentence to new people- “oh! finally, i was starting to think you guys ditched me” jesse smiled to the two girls, aimes eyes were glued to her plate, only a few bites were left of her pancake and she only ordered one, and had been here for about at least 20 minutes.

“hey jesse!” aime heard dinas voice, the corner of her eyes she could see dina coming up to jesse to give him a quick hug, before she turned to aime

“hey aime! how you’ve been?” dina asked gently, aime rolled her eyes. she hated it. she hated the way people treated her. aime saw dina everyday, and dina always asked the same question as if it was gonna make her depression disappear.

“great” aime mumbled, ignoring her thumping heart of being only a few feet away from ellie

it was silent for a few seconds, “oh! aime, meet ellie!” dina cheered, how the fuck can she be this happy at 6:30 in the morning? everyday too. “hey” she mumbled, not looking at ellie at all. aime pretended as if she didn’t care. “uh, hi” ellie shuffled awkwardly from behind her

“come on aime! actually introduced yourself”

dina smiled, waiting for us to fully meet.

i hopped off my seat, standing only a foot away from ellie, we were about the same height, execpt i was a few inches taller

i smiled at her awkwardness. “hey ellie, im aime, i live next door to you in the wooden house” i lifted my hand out to her, she looked up to me, confused at my sudden change of personality, “hi..” ellie said quietly, unsure of what to say since aime already knew her name

aime looked down to ellies arm as ellie connected her hand to hers, aime felt sparks in her stomach, and ellie felt weird too, but she assumed it was just the anxiety of meeting a new pretty girl.

aime immediately felt worried for ellie as she noticed the white bandaged wrapped around her arm, she hadnt notice it before, from ellie always wearing long sleeves until now, aime let go of ellies hand, eyebrows furred, aimes left hand held ellies arm right beneath the bandage, while she reached out with her right and traced gently over it, “what happened? are you okay?” aime asked, her voice was calm, but panic was inside her

aime batted her eyes down to the girl, aimes dark brown, almost black, eyes met with ellies jade eyes. “oh, its just uh- a small wound from- a, from a knife, and its wrapped so it doesnt get in-infected” ellie stammered, aime watched as ellies eyes glued to the wood ground, and ellies cheecks blushed red

“that sucks,” aime started, she slid her hands that were on her right arm down to meet with ellies right hand, both of aimes hands grazing over her hand and brushing against her fingers, “i hope it heals fine” aime stood there for a few seconds, just playing with ellies fingers, “i gotta go,

group patrol starts soon, it was nice meeting you, ellie” aime smiled to her, dropping her hand and leaving, not even bothering saying goodbye to dina or jesse who stood there confused and shocked

once aime left the building, jesse and dina both looked at eachother, mouth ajar, ellie stood there, her thoughts racing over trying to figure out what just happened to her, surely she was like that with everyone?

“that was insane!” dina was the first to speak, ellie finally looked up confused, “what was?” she asked, jesse and dina looked at eachother once more, and back to ellie

“nothing, its just..” dina tried to explain but couldnt find the words, “shes never like that, i mean, her smile when she looked at you was genuine, she never smiles! and she continued the conversation? she never does, she always is super quiet” jesse explained better, “oh” was all ellie could say.

“hey, i thought you couldnt do group patrol until 16?” ellie asked, she wanted to do it but both joel and maria immediately said no. “yeah, you cant” jesse shrugged, “what? shes 16? you guys said she was our age” ellie asked confused, “no, shes 14, shes just the only one allowed to do patrol that young”

“oh, how come?”

“just is” jesse shrugged

the rest of the day ellie spent asking and asking jesse and dina questions about aime. ellie felt so intrigued by her and wanted- no, needed, to learn more about her.

the next day, after aime finished patrol, she layed on her couch, writing about a certain girl in her journal when a knock came to her door. she placed her journal down with the pen ontop, before walking over to the window, she peaked out, seeing jesse standing there, she sighed, unlocking and opening the door

“hey aimees, me, dina, and ellie were gonna hangout at my place, play card games, wanted to know if you wanna hang with, we can be as noisy as we want, my moms not home” jesse smiled

once aime heard that ellie was going, she knew she was going, but she needed to not seem suspicious. “uhh.. i dont know” she hummed, “come on, what were you even doing before?” he asked, peaking behind me, aime glanced over her shoulder looking at my journal on the table, “not much” she said with a shrug, “exactly! come on, go get your shoes on, ill be waiting, okay thanks!” jesse said, and before aime could reply, jesse grabbed the door handle and shut the front door

aime smiled, her plan working, she rushed to her bedroom, applying more lipgloss, and tying her shoes, she brushed out her hair, she kept on her pajamas, she wore a dark wine red hoodie, and black plush shorts

“jeez, took you long enough” jesse over exaggerated, “whatever, you’re lucky im going”

when aime showed up, she pretend that she didnt feel like she wanted to grab the nearest kicthen knife and repeativly stab dina in the chest. what did dina say that was so funny to make ellie grab onto her shoulder like that?

“oh! hey guys, hey aime! im glad you came!” dina smiled, aime gave a small nod with a small smile

“come on! sit, we have the cards ready!” dina exlcaimed, aime sat directly infront of ellie on the ground, jesse and dina next to me, as they started playing uno

“hey ellie” aime smiled, not bothering saying hi back to dina, everyone could already see blush forming on ellie, “hi aime” and with that they started the game

once it got really late, and dina had fallen asleep, aime decided that she and ellie were gonna leave, and they would finally be alone. aime stood up, not bothering to fix her shorts that rose up from sitting down, now exposing her ass. “its getting late, i have patrol early tomorrow, i should get going” aime said, looking down between jesse and ellie, ellie stood up too, “yeah, joel wanted me home by 10” ellie fidgeted her fingers looking at jesse and dina, they were both leaned against the couch still on the ground, dina asleep with her head on his shoulder

“all good, im getting pretty tired too, see you guys tomorrow, get home safe” jesse waved bye, aime nodded and turned around to leave,

knowing ellie was following behind her

ellie trailed behind aime, her eyes trailing to the loose hem of the girls shorts, she could feel her face getting hot

aime could feel ellies eyes on her, so she peaked over her shoulders, smirking to herself once she saw ellies eyes flicker around back to the ground as she pretending like she wasnt looking

aime stopped walking, waiting till ellie caught up to her until they were side by side

ellie kept her eyes on the ground, feeling embarrassed, knowing the aime had saw her looking. aime stared into the girls eyes

“has anyone ever told you that you have the prettiest eyes in the whole existence?” aime asked softly, ellies face grew even hotter, she took at least 30 seconds to reply as her brain malfunctioned. “no” ellie said softly, “oh, well you do, i could just look at them forever, theyre so easy to get lost in” aime continued, knowing it was making ellie incredibly flustered

“i- thank you..” ellie said in just above a whisper, about a minute pasted before ellie spoke up, “you have really pretty eyes too”

“thank you, ellie” aime smiled, ellie finally looked back up to her, smiled with her

after that, they chatted and joked until ellie stopped infront of her house, “do you.. maybe wanna come in?” ellie asked, fidgeting with her fingers, aime smiled, walked closer to the girl, and grabbed her hand and connected it with hers to stop her from fidgeting. “i would love to”

and from that day on, ellie and aime became best friends, always with eachother like they were conjoined twins

but it didnt end like that

[artdcnaldson]

okok basically relationship lore, i feel like this is like super deep and personal 😭 apologies i didnt know how else to condense it and still explain it properly

we met like 2 years ago. he was doing an exchange year in denmark, which is where i am from and live (insane lore drop), and he came to visit my school for a week as part of his program. and basically i was part of the group that had to welcome them and spend time with them, and we just like totally hit it off. like, watching soccer with him and having him explain the rules even though i could not care less, type thing. him taking me out on walks at night and telling me about constellations. asking if he could brush my hair for me at night before bed. cooking for me and my family and teaching me his family's recipes. then we kept seeing each other like all the time after he left my school and until he had to move back to italy after a few months.

and then he like invited me to come stay with him for a bit of the summer at his house down there. it was like a crazy summer fling, like in the movies, like short but really intense. we never like really dated properly, cuz i didnt want to put a label on something that would inevitably expire. he wanted to do the long distance thing, so we tried it, but it was just not working yknow. so i ended up breaking it off, and like telling him that i couldnt do it so long as he was so far away.

and now he like texts me every couple of months to check in, he always just wants to ask if im happy, and ask if he can see pictures of me and what ive been doing. and he always says that he loves me, even though ive told him not to say that. but we'll just catch up, he'll tell me about his job, and his tennis, and his family. and he'll ask me about my mom, and my school, and if i still cook as well as i used to. and then we wont talk for months again, cuz what is there to say?

-🐞

Omg the lore is so crazy….. love this for you

[bunnihearted]

-.-

and no but fr it's easy for ppl to say im dramatic or too much or 'should just get over it'. but i've never had love feelings like this for anyone ever... i could go into depth but that's just the jist: i love this person so deeply so deeply it's so rare and so all consuming. and i might seem lame or stupid or pathetic but these feelings have been controlling me for 1.5yrs... (the crush developed fast). like actually controlling my life and idk what to do abt it. and it freaks me out bc i have gotten over crushes!!! i had one on a guy i knew and was friends with, but i didnt realize i had a crush until after we had 0 contact w eo. and it took me like 4yrs until i could think of him without chest pain and dread in my stomach??? then i had one on my physical therapist, but bc that relationship was strictly professional and he had no platonic nor physical interest in me, and i didnt even see him when my sessions ended, i got over him in 1 year and now dont even think of him. but this is different... it's also different bc it is the most "romance" (like incl. any share sexual and platonic and affectionate energy etc) that i've also received from my crush. like this is even harder for me to let go bc even if it wasnt an actual relationship, it felt close to one (esp so for me since i've never even had a relationship). plus my feelings and thoughts and sentiments i expressed wasnt one sided. so ..... like i am genuinely scared abt how i will get past this bc i cant live w this pain??? since im extra emotional like much more than an average person it hurts so fucking bad like so fucking bad. and it scares me bc 1) i dont wanna feel like this plus i keep thinking of it and 2) if i keep feeling like this it will close me off from meeting new potentional connections. so like yeah ppl can be dismissive all they want but i really dont want to feel like this bc it hurts so bad and it drives me insane and it is actually affecting my life... like im unable to function properly bc like ppl with whole full lives and are also not made like me might be normal abt things but.. this was al i wanted dreamed abt and just felt so much for and like idk what to do without it and idk how to function w it.

ok yeah maybe i sound crazy but like genuinely i feel insane abt it. and ppl just tell u to move on but like ?!?!?!?!? i dont know i dont know. if i met the first person i've loved like this at 25 ... what does that mean???????? if just crushes have taken me years to get past, how long will this take and how much will it hurt??? im like genuinely terrified bc i cant even imagine my life without them 🙃🙃🙃 i cant imagine wanting anyone else or feeling this way with anyone else 🙃🙃🙃🙃 and i know what ppl say ok i know i know!!!!! but i just cant?? idk how to process that bc im 25.. and i have /never/ felt this way.... maybe it just sounds crazy but i think i was made for them (but its sad when they arent made for me ofc</3). and might sound crazy but everyone are different and i just needed smth like this and idk!!!! yes i sound crazy idc im like so scared of emotions and how deep they are and idk what to do. bc apparently therapists dont want u coming to them to talk abt this and like ummmmm what if i cant let this go and keep going insane forever. i saw someone say they had unrequited love for someone for 10yrs and couldnt get over it. what the fuck?!?!? i wanna scream like how is this real 😦😦😦😦 is there any drug for me to take to lose all my emotions?!?!? 🫨🫨🫨🫨

[mbat]

fuck it, have my unnecessarily personal review that i left on letterboxd (i literally only made a letterboxd account like 3 days ago and this is my first and only review ahfhdg)

"i only just finished watching this film about 2 hours ago and for the first while after, i didnt know how to feel. i went into this movie knowing it was a trans metaphor (and that was the only thing i knew), and it definitely was. there were some things i didnt understand until i saw other peoples discussions of it, and some parts i still dont entirely understand, but i think i understand enough.

mind you, i am trans and ive known for years, im just bad at picking up metaphor sometimes. i think it doesnt help that i went into it expecting it to be a very different kind of metaphor because, well... i dont think ive ever seen a trans story like this. the one where they explore someone rejecting their identity and living their life refusing to believe it, even though theyre suffocating to death. i love any trans story (that isnt hateful of course), but they tend to be the same kind. this one wasnt. im glad it wasnt.

for about an hour after i couldnt stop thinking about the final scene, in the birthday room. i hoped i would stop thinking about it eventually, i was trying to move on with my day, but it just wouldnt leave. i rewatched it on youtube and i read the comments, and as i made my own comment i just started sobbing, and i couldnt stop.

that breakdown scene in that birthday room has been how ive felt for so long, but i cant just scream like that. hell, ive felt like that in so many ways that arent even related to my trans identity. just that throat-tearing scream, begging for help, im dying, help me... and then being sorry that i even dared feel that way, and then screaming for my mother. i am so weak when it comes to stories about mothers nowadays, i lost my own mother a few years ago. so hearing that scream hurt.

and of course, the fact that no one acknowledges it. everyone else is frozen, like they arent even there. no one even looked their way for those last few minutes. no one responded. even as they apologized to everyone in sight, no one cared. someone asked if they were okay, but we dont even see them.

my entire life has been me screaming from the inside, but never out. and no one sees it. no one sees me. ive never seen another scene like this ever. it tore into my soul and plastered it into the screen, telling me to look at myself.

im also in a big time of change in my life. im about to go back to school after dropping out, and ive been isolated for 7 years from the world... on the youtube video of the final scene, someone said 'this is what its like going down a path in your life, and then realizing it was the wrong one, and that you wasted years of your life that you will never get back' and that hurt. that hurt so much because it was true. i went down a path that i can never change, and i just want to scream until i cant anymore. i just wanted someone to help me. all i could ever do was help myself.

what an amazing movie. there will always still be time. never forget that there will always still be more time."