#i couldnt care less abt anyone but these two

[saphirdevil]

sighs....

[gongedtornado]

.

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

the way he came real close to one of laios desperate plans while sleep deprived and hangry several chapters in advance.. he really does know laios huh.

my tags got too long so here they are under the cut

Even tho he wanted to sleep he probs was still listening to everything laios has to say. Bc he is Always Listening and Observing

Interesting in the context of how laios wants someone to understand him - to see him as he is but also the ways in which hes afraid of rejection and being seen as less than human but lacking the monstrousness to retaliate and lash out without regret bc then it would be The natural order of things but hell never be a monster he can only be a human being

but i think part of the reason shuro got so mad is bc he was putting all this effort into being considerate and feeling he got none in return. i think he wanted to be seen too! But i think he overlooked how he feels safe enough to express his rawest feelings w laios

But also i think laios was the first relationship shuro did not just let fizzle out at the first sign of interpersonal difficulty. bc lbr in this manner hes a coward. Disgusted by maizuru being his fathers mistress ? Dont talk it out n continue letting her treat him like a child while ignoring her. concerned hien and him will turn out like maizuru and his father—just let the friendship drift apart w time. concerned abt how inutade views her retainership when he knows his father just sees her as an oddity—dont say shit n just stew in it 5eva

passive aggression warrior!!!

Also interesting laios is like if we can make her monstrousness more manageable maybe she can live among ppl…the projection

The part at the end where toshiros like I know his gait from the sound of the bell by heart so i 100% know its him. he was listening the whole time! like a second heartbeat. Very metaphorical for their relationship. its a challenging relationship for the both of them but they dont give it up bc they care about each other.

thats love honestly i was genuinely moved by the interplay of toshiro laios n kabrus relationship. that laios promises hell eat w kabru on his terms even tho kabru wasnt upfront abt the monster thing initially giving him a motive to return. and how shuro gave him the bell as a promise hed bring him back to the surface no matter what. And he fulfills it even when laios leaves the bell behind bc he knows him so well To the surface and live among other ppl.

bc laios whole life he felt like he couldnt understand other ppl and they couldnt understand him even tho he wanted that connection that seemed so easy to everyone else

but thru kabru and shuro we see that no one in the world understands anyone else completely- thats why they enter the story w awful first impressions. As well as like well. Thats probs how laios comes off to other ppl

shuro calls him back bc the two as his peers are like u already have connections who value you (shuro) and deep connections youve yet to make w ppl who will be important to u going forward (kabru) and theyll both challenge and change deep seated issues about themselves to keep their connection w u alive

[wild-forest-bee]

I feel the need to make a vent post. idk if anyone will see it, but telling ppl in my life just feels like blaming them, so feel free to interact

I've been homeless for 4 years now. no problem there per se. but without the duties of school and work, im left to decide for myself. Im (thankfully) not american so working while being in school was not so common, but i never got a cent in allowance so it was worth it at first.

they say to properly heal from burnout you need way longer than what time you have. im still trying to stop faking it and start making it. being a 19yo burnout is all fine and edgy until youre 22 unemployed homeless and without any degree and you still feel like doing two (2) tasks a day is a lot. i feel like i got the perfect depression-adhd cocktail where if i dont do what i want all day every day i might start killing ppl, but if i do i might as well be a rotting log in the forest

i have the chance to get top surgery but i feel my depression making me fumble it. "who cares what you look like. without your tits youre just fat. no point in changing anything" I also know for a fact that it wont make me less depressed but it makes me anxious to think that, if i let it pass, ill have to jump through the hoops again to get where i am now.

im just in so much pain every day from walking, sometimes just sitting. when i lay down, its my shoulders. probably something to do with joints. i also got scabies from some irresponsible guests, so i havent touched skin in over a month now and i feel my grip on my feelings slipping. not being allowed to touch my partner is putting a strain in our relationship and general wellbeing. as a countermeasure, I also have to be very careful about textiles, wich sucks because most of my hobbies revolve around fabric.

i just feel like living death.

either no appetite or binge eating, either way tummy pain. cant deal with groups but feeling lonely. body feeling worse every day. everything around me seems to get more complicated every day. i always tried to seem open and welcoming but i feel forgotten

at least i quit smoking weed last winter. they say the best time to quit was 20 years ago and my asthma is probably happy abt it but... bye bye sleeping routine

even as i write this post i couldnt be sleeping because i have to hit the wall (/lit) every time i hear the rats biting at my caravan or else theyll get in and start eating my food and shitting on my pillow (yay skin care!!) who wants pets when you have [INTRUDER ALERT]

ill have to look at the hole in the morning, but working inside a metal box during the day in 35°+ weather is not appealing. also have to cut the bushes so i dont have to suffer a thousand nettle stings, also cook and eat something and maybe I'll have the energy to shower like i wanted to since last week

if you get down here and wonder if i have a gofundme or smth give it to a palestinian and talk with me instead

[skybristle]

more sparks please. girl what happened to you and do i have to kill anyone

rbs > likes

These two. dw shes already fucking them up. hashtag feminism! [they are also both women]

these two n what they do to her [i wont go fully into it but just elaborae since i already summarized it here in my post abt maw but]. yeah. When she was constructed she was a very ambitious iterator and very. jittery and eager to help her kind and very very radiant. probably the perfect iterator!

of course.... as ive probably heavily alluded to ash is a POS ! as her senior, and the only one in their group at the time, she looks to him for guidance and feels so terrible finding out how fucked up he is with his own colony and how he is struggling to bear it [he IS depressed and chronically ill however also just. has zero accoutnability or responsibility whatsoever and refuses to recongize his mistakes ever or consider his actions beyond what he receives from them] so of course as they fall for eachther and she helps him shoulder his burden he simply takes it for granted and does little to return the favor. its soo unbalanced and unhealthy but sparks is just trying and trying because god !! she wants to be good !! she wants to help people !!! so fucking bad!!!

but shes left bleeding alone, in an overextended structure as they operate on her while shes awake, overclocking her systems and sendinf electricity like lightning down her puppet, he basically messages maw Once to try and get her to knock it off before falling back into his patter nof laziness like welp! did what i can do ! and has the audacity to whine to sparks about feeling inadequate. and she really has no choice but to get back up and dust herself off and live with this reality, which persists quite literally forever, even if its less stressful when her colony eventually leaves. and she stays stuck in this delusion that ash couldnt have done any more and that it was just unfortunate and.. he still needs her help she cant leave him in the dust [what did he do to her again?].

especially as their local group slowly grows and he kind of refuses to accept the responsibility so sparks is also shouldering mentorship and taking care of them and etc. the only exception really is whispers who isnt allowed to speak to sparks because their colony is an asshole so they grow close to their designated senior and ash actually does take the kid kinda under his wing as much as he sucks, mainly at sparks concerns initially.

shes also. super badly traumatized by maw and a lot of that fear and paranoia echo especially later on when maw *actually hurts another iterator*. shes well aware how much maw resents her and maw is the only thing to really scare her. over time sparks loses her whimsy and just becomes very calcualted and dilligent. takes little pleasure in it anymore but if shes not working shes nothing, even as she makes her issues and overextension worse she hasnt rested in ages.

once mass ascension happens and ash bascialyl goes 'welp im done. see ya'll' now that nobody is literally there to make him do his job and goes into sleepmode completely disregarding all the work sparks has done for their group and for *him* not just to appease his colony on his behalf thats when she finally breaks this delusion she has and fucking snaps. she still is kidn of in the position where now shes FORCED To hold authority because hes gone but doesnt bother to try with those who dont answer to her. shes just so angry and frustrated and just workaholics it all away but its really. its not helpful long term and this anger is just building as things in their group get worse and worse as he sleeps in the distance none the wiser.

and, finally, when whisper's emergency broadcast rings true and all hell breaks loose- and he wakes up and the first thing he does is crawl back to sparks to make her do his shit again without even acknowledging his abandonment for many many kilocycles she just completely fucking loses it on him. dedicates herself to- rather than try to put ehr group back together and aid whispers, she just charges headfirst into hurting everyone whos ever hurt her. im still trying to figure out what goes on with maw but as for ash. she creates the brainiac to steal his seniority but also just hijack his structure in an incredibly painful manner. just so she can feel her pain. oh, and just like her, she wont have anyone to crawl to for sympathy [being needlessly cruel and ignoring others suffering? sounds a lot like maw. disregarding the needs of your group to chase a selfish goal as someone lay dying? sounds a lot like ash. lol. lmao even].

after she gets the seniority crown she starts having a guilt crisis. then whispers. uhm. Well. Escapes starlight's can and jumps in the void sea [ive been alluding to it this whole time but nobodies said anything so. ill just lay that here and let u guys react] she finally realizes how badly she fucked up [thats what makes her better than maw and ash] and what shes done and how much shes kind of fucked over her bridges with the people who actually cared about her [chimes and ochre especially] and. yeah. i need to piece out what happens after this still but i mean starlight and maw r still kicking around and sparks now has the responsibiltiy to do SOMETHING which would probably resul in violent retallion from at least maw and kick this bs and sparks hurt and anger up all over again. lol. lmao even.

[jackienautism]

inm genuinely so fucking upset rn. just based on a brief browse of jasons wiki, hes in such a similar boat to ingrid fire emblem but holy fucking shit you know whose character gets reduced down to racism? and you know whose doesn't? and you know wha tth ebiggest difference is between the two of them? im going to fucking kill someoobe

before i say anything more, ive already reblogged a posttalking abt ingrid and her racism (which i agree w/) and i dont blame any poc esp dark skinned poc for immediately not liking her and being uncomfortable by her despite the growth she experiences in her later supports w/ dedue. i dont blame ANYONE for hating her due to those reasons

i have to play house of ashes before saying anygthing more but holy goddamn shit. both have prejudices due to a tragedy that occurred in their primarily white society. and those same prejudices affect their relationship w/ another character (that theyre prejudiced against) whos within their group. blah blah blah thigns happen they must learn to depend on each other, growth blah blah balh. i dont even fucking know if jason goes through any growth and realizes that hes being fucking racist. i havent played house of ashes yet so i just ASSUME he goes through an arc of realizing that hes been shitty but who the fuck knows. i woudlnt even be shocjed if he DOESNT go throughg any sort of growth bc i literally have no faith in fandom anymore. will probably update thsi once i plauy the game. but anyway

its actually incredible how similar hsi mindset is to ingrids. and yet jason is super well lvoed and well received and only said to be a 'bastard' and an 'asshole' while ingrid remains one of the more controversial and debated characters of the fandom and the fact shes racist is mentioned every like 2 seconds

if oyur opinion of me has changed simply based on how i view ingrid, thats okay. i totally understand. ESPECIALLY if youre a poc. if youre white i rly couldnt fucking care less. especially if you like jason

its just........ man. ugh. if jason were a girl and ingrid were a guy, their roles and fandom perceptions would be swapped for sure. look at felix and lorenz for example? they say and do just as shitty of thigns as ingrid and yet no one fucking cares. im tired of this double fucking standard. so many people pretend to care about us and want to be seen as "pure" and "progressive" and yet they turn around and do shit like this and it just shows me that they DONT ACTUALLY CARE. and im TIRED

i feel like i have more to say but im just so pissed off rn.ill add more once it comes to me i guess

[drunkjaked]

i remember reading comments recently abt big sean and jhene aiko and people were saying how no matter who they date, they belong to each other and whatever and i can't not see that type of relationship with jake that you guys are not together exclusively and always going around dating or wtvr, coining the titles of heartbreakers on your campus, but the reason why the flings never work out is because you both know you belong to each other and there is no one else who will make you feel the way the other does

it's not even a secret between you two, hooking up on countless occasions, sending each other teasing glances at parties and there have been times where jake has confessed to you when reaching his high on one of your various hookups "shit baby y'know no other can compare to you," / "-like you too much to let you go," and maybe it could pass off as empty words due to post nut clarity but you find truth in those words when it's happened so many other times that youve lost count

jake is soo into this type of relationship (?) too because you see the smirks and grins sent your way when he's trying to make you jealous when a girl is all up on him and he's entertaining it only to send a side glance at your glare and looking back at her with a smile and a lip bite (you know That signature bite smile) and a roll of his eyes. he blows his cover when he pushes the unknown girl off of him when he sees you walking over with confidence in your step– because you know he'd choose you over any person no matter what– and spreading his legs a little more to accommodate your comfort when you sit on his lap, skirt riding up slightly and one hand coming to wrap around his shoulders as the other brings him to you for a kiss not even sparing the forgotten girl an extra look especially after he tries to deepen the supposed to be peck and wrapping his own arm around your waist to pull your closer.

despite the clear message to everyone that you two own each other (and if the matching initial necklaces don't say enough), it doesnt stop people from throwing themselves at you both and tears from shedding when their hearts get broken because youve broken up with them because they just dont amount. jake is nicer about it than you for sure, you couldnt care less about the persons feelings when your mind can only think about jakejakejake when jake tries to let them down a little gentler (granted anything can be better than waking up to a "we're done" in their text notifs from you, their number not even saved in your phone) because he may be a heartbreak but at least he's nice (nicer than you).

the best part is hooking up with each other and the constant determination to ruin the other. pretty dark hickeys all over your necks–sometimes heart-shaped, a trick you taught jake when you learnt it–, scratches on jakes back, finger prints on your hips and bruises on your ass. sometimes you'd even post photos on your instagrams. his favourite being the photo you took in his backseat post makeout of just the lower halves of your faces, your signature lipstick transferred and smeared all over his lips, smirk plastered on his face with your once perfectly applicated lipstick smeared as well, smiling an innocent smile and his handle tagged on your lips.

his favourite thing to do when you hookup with each other is to kiss you breathless with a pretty hand wrapped around your neck squeezing lightly and the other going in and out of your hole fingering you as you struggle to kiss back with your hands gripping his soft messy hair tightly as you whimper you want moremoremore, when you moan out to him, "want you to fucking own me," and who is he to deny you of that plea when you have him wrapped around your finger? he'd have a thing for cumming on your chest or ass and spitting in your mouth or spitting alongside the cum and mixing it because it's just so raunchy and he knows you would never allow anyone else to do that. when he does fuck you–hard and fast– hitting your spot so quickly in a way no one else can, he'd be so vocal, "mine mine mine. youre all mine yeah?" "this pretty pussy is mine alone. no one can ever fuck you this good right?" "look at the mess youre making on my cock. so fucking messy." "cock hungry slut can never stop coming back for more." but he'd be so sweet about it too, "pussy was made to take me, love it so much," "im yours you know that yeah?" "i love when you come back to me, im yours just like youre mine." - 🗣 (this was so long can tumblr add a read more for asks too :/ 😣) possessive cocky pussy drunk jake >>>

awww man im gonna be thinking about this for the rest of my life .. UGH "i'm yours just like you're mine" ENOUGH.. IF I CRY???? ? no no no no no no no no no.

[kae-karo]

get to know you meme

ahhhh tyty aewin @solluxisms for the tag!!

fave colour: purple

currently reading: i'm between books atm but most recently have read the recent tgcf volume!! and also dracula daily. and also i've been on a kick of rereading my own fics? which has been lots of fun tbh

last song: i literally got devoured by another voila song, my type (x) so this is my life now i guess lmao. i swear it won't turn into a fic tho lmao

last series: series as in show?? i watched sandman! and i'm rewatching bnha rn which is a blast

last movie: unironically pretty sure this was when rose and i watched world hero mission prior to our bnha rewatch. OH or maybe pacrim? watched that somewhat recently as well lmao i forget the order of operations here

currently working on: a BUNCH of prompt-based oneshot ideas? sort of? both for my usual genshin men and for bktd/tdbk, maybe bkdk if i feel like i can have a coherent thought abt them lmao. i also have a bktd longfic i'm working on that's more or less a boarding school au? and always in the back of my mind i am working on my zhongli x all smut au lmao

share 10 different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then tag 10 people - okay first of all how dare u assume i consume ten medias i can barely consume like two or three at a time let alone in any memorable history if ur not careful this will become a warrior cats zone real quick and nobody wants that lmao

ajax tartaglia childe, genshin impact

bakugou katsuki, bnha

hua cheng, tgcf

rin my beloved, nu carnival

xue yang, mdzs

sasaki, sasaki and miyano

kyo, fruits basket

irene, invisible library

look i'm sorry i can only consume so many medias sdjfkldf

tagging @epistemologys @natigail @go-ask-ash @kerasines @kai-couldnt-think-of-a-name @alienjack @rainbowrider1290 @shigarakitomura and anyone else who wants to do it but that's 8 cause that's all the medias i can come up with lmao

[nextstopparis]

Has the fandom addressed the parallel between Uther and Arthur’s death where they are both stabbed in the gut and held by one of the most important people in their life and they have to sort of tell the person not to go or get them help (“stay with me��� and “just hold me please”) and they have their final “I should have appreciated you more you’re so important to me” speech?

anon i am SO sorry this took like two days sakjnxakx i dont know whats been wrong with me kjdnsncs

also. OH MY GOD?????

(4.03) (5.13)

first thing i can think of is:

ARTHUR: I'll go get help.

UTHER: Stay with me.

vs,

MERLIN: I'm not going to lose you.

ARTHUR: Just, just - just hold me. Please.

(YES I CRIED TYPING THE 'PLEASE' OK LEAVE ME ALONE) which is just. a father telling his son (often described by canon as a person who uther treasures unlike anyone he's treasured before) (erm. idk if i agree with that buT ANYWAY) to stay with him (hold him) in what he believes are his final moments. and also arthur asking his best friend to *just* hold him in HIS final moments.

UTHER: I'm sorry.

ARTHUR: No. Don't say that.

and

ARTHUR: ... For the kingdom you helped me build.

MERLIN: You'd have done it without me.

to me, in both scenarios, it just feels like. arthur is trying to reassure his father before his death ('no, don't say you've been a bad father. dont die thinking i blame or hate you. no.') (which i personally disagree with but ANYWAY). and merlin trying to reassure arthur before his death ('no, you didn't need me. don't die thinking you're worth any less. no, you could have done all this yourself') (which i also talked about here).

there's also:

ARTHUR: You can't die.

and

MERLIN: You're not going to say goodbye.

five stages of grief, beginning with denial, anyone?

after this, as you said, both arthur and uther give like. this mini speech. which at first i couldnt find any parallel between UNTIL. UNTIL I REREAD WHAT YOU WROTE ABT THE APPRECIATION. because uther talks about how arthur has always made him proud, how arthur is ready and HAS BEEN ready to be king for some time. which 1) is, from my understanding, the one affirmation from his father he has ALWAYS craved, literally since season one ("i always thought i was a big disappointment to you") BUT ALSO 2) it's almost. exactly what we as an audience need to hear? like, ok. i dont think anyone much CARES for uthers opinion on who's ready to be king but. still. if he's going to say anything, if he MUST, this is what the best thing he could say? this serves as like. one last confirmation i guess? like the "official" approval? arthur's father FINALLY saying something fatherly to him. lmfao

and, to parallel that, arthur THANKS MERLIN!! he acknowledges all the work merlin has done for him (whether he knows abt it specifically or not. i also wrote abt that here) and THANKS HIM!! again, at first i was thinking, idk how these two speeches parallel besides the timing and general sentiments but. LOOK. just like arthur has been dying for his father's approval since season one, merlin has also been dying for arthur to know about his help since season 1 too!!!! AS WELL, it's exactly what the audience wants to hear from arthur!! like we can talk about timing and execution and whether it was enough or not, but... more or less, it's what WE have been waiting for as well. arthur is FINALLY aware (to enough of an extent, imo) of how much More(TM) merlin is, you know?

and,

UTHER: I've always loved you.

this, to me, is kind of the same thing as:

ARTHUR: I want to say something I've never said to you before. Thank you.

because it's like this big. FINALLY. moment, you know? as well, it's their final words to the other person. idk if that made sense i hope it did. ANYWAY.

one interesting thing is that, unlike arthur (that we now know), that wasn't actually uther's death scene. BUT THE PARALLELS DONT STOP. BECAUSE MERLIN IN 5.13 THOUGHT HE STILL HAD TIME TO SAVE ARTHUR, JUST LIKE ARTHUR THOUGHT ABT HIS FATHER IN 4.03.

so the other parallel is: merlin begs kilgharrah for one last favour to take them to avalon just like arthur begs dragoon for a favour to save his father.

arthur's already dead by the time they get to avalon, unfortunately, and uther (not so unfortunately) has his fate sealed bc of morgana's neckless.

OH AND ALSO

dragoon gets a ride from a pendragon and

pendragon and dragoon get a ride from a dragon. which is the best/most serious parallel i think but. anyway.

[stellaestra]

how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]

pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]

description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets

genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort

author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas

p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious

pls I'm funny i swear

cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)

unedited

// no beta read, we’ll die like men

---

bang chan

mc is a '00 liner,

she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1

to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors

possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something

he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event

after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her

mc would always awkwardly greet him back

“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.

mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.

cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”

chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters

he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does

(love rivals (for felix) arc when)

he doesn’t know who to be envious of

that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or

felix being able to spend so much time with her

the never-ending saga

(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)

(okay, im joking)

their respective friends group made a running joke

about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix

(it eventually became theirs as well)

(it's funny)

once he made her go off-tangent about felix

she was really passionate about his freckles and smile

for a moment

he really did think that she has a crush on him

no surprises there tho

felix IS absolutely cute

(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)

he really really finds her adorable

he could go on for days

esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks

sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day

it's like a second skin on her

he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket

“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”

“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”

“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”

one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her

“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”

“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”

he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed

that he was kinda concerned

she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty

but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair

“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”

“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.

he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age

chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.

he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway

bc she's his cute little junior

---

lee minho

another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"

minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost

plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye

to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him

drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before

no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible

mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt

she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes

really, she doesn’t

minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of

bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him

if they ever interact

it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors

like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase

his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event

he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that

the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.

chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…

then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her

so he took this chance as to know more abt her

coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs

(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)

(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)

(the never-ending saga of love rivals)

he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event

she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends

even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot

it kinda made him want to tease her even more now

he found out her name and what they were planning to do

heard her cursing under her breath

he decided to join their group on the whim

found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her

her friends are somewhat protective of her

he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways

and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them

so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible

like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust

what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about

her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from

just to avoid him

he couldn't help but find it hilarious

he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus

saw how her eyes lit up brightly

“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”

“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”

he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess

and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences

he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked

would nod along with what she says

because wow, shes really passionate about cats

that's a huge bonus for minho

and that was how minho adopted another kitten

whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together

playdate with cats <3

she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called

“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy

“why did you guys name them that?”

“because why not?”

“fair enough point.”

and she laughs

he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest

since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her

casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot

expected her to be bashful about it

but all she does was

“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"

so making her flustered backfired on him

poor minho

here’s your “you tried” star

mwah

so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)

---

seo changbin

same case as the two above, unfortunately

if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries

mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent

she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people

but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him

thinks of him as a pretty cool senior

he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days

imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression

your ego would go off the rooftop

after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways

RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL

pat her on the head occasionally

if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands

“why do you keep avoiding them”

“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat��

“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more

“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”

“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”

“um, yeah, no.”

“let your cute senior pat your head!!”

“im gonna run away!”

he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her

esp felix and jisung

for innie’s circumstances, that’s different

she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes

found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought

they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other

even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning

that would not stop them

“this song reminds me of you”

“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”

“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”

he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha

jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before

changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs

they were floored and the conversation starts like this,

“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”

“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”

“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”

“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”

“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”

“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”

lots of petty bickerings

chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school

(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)

he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and

that they actually are aware of her music taste

or else

she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does

he had to witness her biting her tongue live

changbin would never think someone like her would have

such a vulgar language

every profanity he knows came out of her mouth

he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue

after fretting over her though, he started teasing her

relentlessly

she threatened to sue him

"I'll sue you"

"with what money?"

"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"

"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"

"fight me!"

he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to

their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings

he gives very comforting hugs and pats

mc doesn’t want to admit it tho

well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day

“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”

“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don’t let it go to your head.”

“I KNEW IT”

“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”

“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”

"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"

rip in peace, changbin

he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it

the more you know

curiousity killed the cat????

---

hwang hyunjin

avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year

why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him

coughs one of the school princes coughs

their batch year prince

she's really gonna swerve away from him

interactions will be kept at a bare minimum

one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers

she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates

that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies

yeah that's mc

that was probably the last time she would even think about it

when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol

goodbye mc you've lived a good life

your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)

jokes aside

hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why

since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her

he probably wondered about it a lot

borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her

so she should know that he’s friends with them

ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them

or when he come across her in the hallways

sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away

esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction

if he ever made eye contact with her

so his plan to befriend mc has started

tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc

mc never did protest his presence like at all

but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her

eventually shes comfortable enough with him

but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though

that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys

and a little left out

as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so

jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her

take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)

that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes

one day he found her waiting at the bus stop

it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform

he was kinda on an errand run too

kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her

afraid that she might run away

she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward

a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core

he splutters back a reply

“on an errand run, errand boy?"

"huh?"

“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”

“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”

“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”

“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"

“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”

“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”

“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”

for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.

“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”

“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”

“...um, we’re friends, right?”

“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”

a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact

pretty boys have too much power in their hands

and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms

this isn’t fair for her heart

so when the bus arrived

they sat beside each other on the bus

hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens

he was so glad he cleared smth up with her

if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her

until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her

when he tried doing it the first time and startled her

yeah no not now

maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great

(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)

(it felt like a heartache)

but it’s okay now though

they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters

---

[masterlist]

[mariesocuniverse]

Relationships: NCT DREAM

Look for Mark and Haechan: here

RenMae

Okay RenMae is one of the top if not the #1 among NCT

fans are like almost 100% sure they’re soulmates

Like there was no awkward small talk when they first met they just talked and ended up each other’s best friend

You would think they’d be childhood friends or at least friends before they became trainees with the way they interact even though they met at SM

she did confess to him before debut that she had a crush on him but he thought she was joking and now none of them talk about of that

Whenever she has a hard time sleeping and wants to sleep with someone, the first option is renjun

she also steals his clothes a lot and renjun’s pretty sure half the clothes in Mae’s closet belong to him

he just stopped fighting her about it because of how stubborn she was and let her do what she wanted

there was this one time he ran out of shirts to wear so he just walked to Mae’s closet and took one out

there was also this one time Renjun was in China and Jaemin posted a pic of Mae taking a nap with Renjun’s sweater on saying that she missed him so much so she wore his sweater

yeaaaaah nct twt broke that day and Renjun’s phone was blowing up with notifications

they dressed as peter pan and tinkerbell for halloween and have each other as that for each other’s contact name uwu

okay enough with the corny stuff

just because they’re close doesnt mean they’ll hold back on each other when it comes to teasing each other

like you wouldnt want to get in their crossfire unless you want them to turn their attention on you instead

MaeNo

you would think he’s older than her because of how protective he is of her

He has eyes like a damn hawk when they’re going somewhere

whenever they’re doing schedules you can see Jeno holding her hand as they make their way through all the crowd and glancing around to see if anyone has any bad intentions towards her

If it weren’t for his status as an idol you would think he was a bodyguard and he would beat up someone for Mae’s sake

whenever they record Jeno always waits for her to finish so they can go home together no matter how late at night it is

there was this one time sasaengs kept calling her phone during a live so he just grabbed her phone and turned it off and threw it too the side without saying a word

Second person Mae goes to when she has nightmares

they’re also have a really playful relationship

like there was this one time she wasn’t paying attention to him so he just lifted her and put her over his shoulder like a potato sack even though there was staff watching them Mae has tried and failed to do the same to jeno

You know how jeno says he likes being called no jam bc of how it makes him feel less burdened? Yeah she always throws him under the bus when it comes to variety shows

she has a samoyed plush on her bed when she bought when she went shopping with him bc it reminded her of jeno

Sometimes she hugs the plush instead of jeno just to annoy him lol

“I’m right here you know” “well the plushie is more huggable for you information”

Yes he did tackle her after that comment

MaeMin

okay this man right here

you know how he melts at everything jisung does? yeah the same goes for Mae

only that she openly accepts his affection and lets him cling to her whenever he wants like his personal teddy bear

you know how at fansigns idols sometimes get gifted cute headbands and plushies? he openly yelled “i love you!” to her when he saw her with a cat ear headband surrounded by plushies

she’s also like really impressed by him

she never thought she’d meet someone who would do aegyo so willingly and so shamelessly

like that one episode of weekly idol where they did the ottoke song and jaemin did a duet with everyone? yeah she couldn’t believe someone like him existed

he basically acts as her parent if none of the 127 members aren’t near them

Whenever they’re on reality shows and the prize is food he always put someone on her plate regardless of whether she lost or not

third person mae goes to when she has nightmares

would not leave his side for a week when he was put on hiatus and couldnt perform with the rest of the dreamies

she didnt want him to feel lonely while everyone else went to promote without him :(

All in all, they’re very affectionate and if they’re together you’ll have to pry jaemin’s hands off her

ChenMae

Mae’s child #1

he got lost in the company building and was too shy to ask the staff so mae approached him and brought him to wear he needed to be

accidentally called her hyung once when he was still learning korean but it ended up sticking so now he and jisung call her hyung instead of noona

When he first joined she helped him adjust with her broken Chinese and now they help each other with the language

one time she visited his house for dinner and his mom made her eat a lot of food because of how skinny she was chenle didnt stop her bc she needs sustenance >:(

wants to give her a personal tour of Shanghai when they’re given enough time for vacation

you know how chenle gave 00line watches when they became adults? he had to fight mae to get her to keep it bc she didnt want him spending money on her

legit he tried to buy her stuff but the only thing she accepted was the watch and this cute charm bracelet that says NCT on it

he put one of his photocards in her phone case (the WGU one with him by the water) and she hasn’t removed it since

he’s really smug abt it and brags to the others about it jisung retaliated by putting his photocard too so now she as to make both of them visible

fights jisung for favorite child position and he wins 50% of the time even though she says she doesnt have one

MaeSung

Mae’s child #2

took one look at him and decided to protect him

she’s used to other people taking care of her so it was nice to take care of someone else for once

i said he also calls Mae hyung but it’s also because he forgets that she’s a girl?

sometimes he hears someone call Mae ‘noona’ and he just gets whiplash because he got reminded that his “hyung” is really a girl put in a boy group

they were honestly really awkward when they first met because Jisung didn’t know how to react to a girl joining the group and kinda avoided her until she cornered him

calls him a tree whenever he teases her about her height

mae when jisung tease/pranks her: i’ve fed and raised you and this is the treatment i get?!?

jisung: you’re only two years older than me….

he gets pouty when Mae doesn’t pay attention to him

theres this one video of Mae talking to another member during Resonance filming and you just see him pouting in the background before walking to her and giving her a back hug

definitely uses his status as a maknae to his advantage

she’s not even subtle about it she’ll buy or cook food for him or yield whenever he loses a game

whenever she’s not around he always brags that he’s her favorite nct member haechan and renjun get so salty abt it lmao

[single-malt-scotch]

accepting i like blogging a typing a lot so, perhaps ill loosely 'live blog' my thoughts on various mcyt things im trying to watch. im basically just jumping on a lot of random guys i have never seen before bc i dont really know what i like at this point lol

hermitcraft s9 & s8 - after watching the Life series i thought ya know, ill watch the new HC to see whats up. etho wasnt playing s9 yet so i watched bdubs s9 and kinda liked it (tho i find myself to be less into his style of commentating now). i decided to try watching Grian s9 as well since i didnt mind what i saw of him either. his buildings are cool and s9 being new, its made me realize they hadnt really had a chance to do all the... rping stuff ive seen implied about season 8 (but again idk how much is exaggerated by fandom there so).

but having caught up on s9 i wanted to watch, i decided to go backwards. im kinda jumping around perspectives aaand it made me realize. while i really dont care about the rping they apparently often fall into during the newer seasons... i loooove the beginning. like, the start of s9 throwing everyone in blind, starting from scratch, scrambling to figure out what to do. thats fun. idk, i just loved the energy of the start of s9! and s8 too. and i think thats also where i love the proxy mod, i like the proxy when its there but not like... always constant, and having it for the first episode/beginning is a nice reminder of everyone's energy and vibes. like youre meeting everyone for the first time again. and i think the reset of a server and needing to start over is the most pure form of fun all of them have with each other.

so while i may keep up w s9 for a bit i feel i may fall off it unless etho continues and is consistent... and i may just slowly work my way backwards until i hit a season that isnt as full of rp as these more recent ones. s8 is also one i bet ill fall out of too tbh but i will keep jumping around episodes too.

hermitcraft s6 - since i didnt mind grian all too much, i wanted to see what he was like when he first joined. also because, etho and bdubs have been around SO much longer, i felt intimidated trying to start from their beginnings... and with s6 being grian's first, i felt maybe itd be less abt the rp stuff because hes newer and all. im about 20 eps in and i like it. theres a little bit of that 'i dont know everyone super well' awkwardness to some extent lol but i find him amusing at times. i wouldnt say grian is a fave of mine, but surprisingly i dont mind him even if he has more energy than who i typically prefer lol. idk how much i will keep up with his series though but its been good seeing what hes like.

Additionally with his interactions with others- i have certainly enjoyed scar and impulse but i dont think i have the energy to watch them fully. in any other case i thought id find scar 'annoying' with his um. well, constant dying and lack of awareness. but hes got such a good personality, and is legitimately funny alongside it and others. seeing him in small doses with grian is nice and i like him quite a bit tbh!

other things - while i watched the Life series i enjoyed some others' povs a bit. i like scott and joel, and wanted to see if i would enjoy their other stuff. i do like scott, but i have yet to watch a series of his i was super into... admittedly the first thing i jumped into with both of them was After Life, and while i think the mods are neat, i just couldnt stay hooked. i already kinda said why in the tags of my last post so i wont really repeat. i know they have a few other series but Empires didnt intrigue me either so! idk. may just have to be the Life series for these two.

i want to give some others a try, so if anyone Old School out there kinda leans on 'less rp more casual fun' and has some people theyd reccomend watching... lemme know!

[starrysence]

the thunderstorm fic

heyooo i am back kind of with a lil ralbert piece to get back into the writing spirit! hope u enjoy! the fic will be under the keep reading link :D word count is somewhere around 1k and i didnt proofread this bc we die like men. also its a modern au cause i can 

tw for astraphobia (fear of thunderstorms) bc thats what this fic is centered around. 

the searing white flash of lightning that makes the rapidly falling raindrops visible is enough to alert race as to what will come next; he’ll never admit it, but he immediately begins to tremble, using every ounce of his energy not to move his hands up to cover his ears and muffle the rumble of thunder. albert, who’s been sitting beside him for the better part of four hours to work on a project they’re partners for, takes notice of race’s sudden shaking and frowns.

“you alright, racer?”

race looks at him; albert, albie, al, his best friend, the guy he’s in love with (even though he’s still a little hesitant about admitting that part), and even though the answer to the question is initially no, looking at him does make race feel a little alright. just a little. he thinks about how this - his fear of thunder - is the only thing he’s never told albert about. it’s the one thing he feels too ashamed of to share with albert, but he’s always figured it’s not a big deal; albert wouldn’t ever have to know, right?

well, considering their current circumstances… maybe race has to rethink that one.

“yeah,” he croaks, almost flinching at how small his voice sounds. “yeah, al, i’m good.”

albert raises an eyebrow, and race knows he’s already lost this one.

“you sure? you don’t sound too sure of yourself an’ you’re, like, shaking right now.”

“dammit, albie.” race chuckles, attempting to downplay just how scared he really feels. the attempt fails as his voice quivers about halfway through the first word, and he wants to cry. but he doesn’t. “why d’you have to be so observant?”

“i’m not observant, tonio,” albert responds with a soft smile. “you’re my best friend, of course i’ll know when something’s up with you. i’ve known you long enough to notice when you’re not bein’ totally honest with me about somethin’. now, what’s the matter?”

race falls silent. he knows there’s no escaping this conversation, but he wants to try and avoid it for as long as he can. 

"race."

he sighs in defeat. he managed to successfully avoid it for a total of less than two minutes.

"promise you won't make fun of me," race says; he tries his hardest to make his voice firm and steady, but it comes out as a shaky, scared whisper. he feels weak. vulnerable. afraid. he doesn't think his shaking can get any worse but in that moment it does and it makes him feel so pathetic and helpless and suddenly he's trying to make sure his breathing is steady and his vision is clear.

in a second albert is by his side, gripping his hand and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, holding him close. he knows race likes the touch, and race is so glad he just knows because he thinks that if he had to speak another word he would start crying. 

"of course i promise not to make fun of you… whatever's got you scared this bad ain't somethin' i'll ever make fun of you for, tonio. you know, i'm sorry for pushing in the first place… you don't have to tell me if it's too hard for you." albert's voice is soft, his tone sincere, and race wonders how he got lucky enough to have a best friend like this.

"i wanna tell you, it's just… hard." race's voice softens more and more as he speaks, ending up as a whisper. 

albert nods. "i get that, racer. just… tell me when you're ready."

"yeah… yeah. thanks, al."

a silence falls among the rather small bedroom, but neither of them really mind; it’s that same, familiar comfortable silence that occurs in the few moments when they don’t have anything to talk about.

“do you remember when we met for the first time?”

race looks up at albert, surprised, and blinks. “i guess, yeah… what about it?”

“i just think it’s crazy, you know...” a small smile starts to form on albert’s face, and race can’t help thinking about how much he wants to see that smile all the time every day, how much he wants to kiss those lips. “how it all began, i mean, and then there’s where we are now. when you sat down next to me on the first day of school in second grade and started rambling on and on about how cool you thought stars were, i immediately wanted you to be one of my friends forever. you were the first person to talk to me that year, which was huge to me ‘cause-”

“you’d just moved into the area,” race interrupts softly. the storm is still going on outside, and it shows no signs of quieting down any time soon, and race still feels himself trembling, but this helps; talking helps. touch helps. he helps. albert helps. 

“yeah.” there’s a full smile on albert’s face now, and it makes race want to smile, too, but all he can manage is a small upturn of his lips. “and now we’re here, and i love how it is and i love you and i wouldn’t trade this for- for anything in the world.”

the world seems to still in that moment. time stops, noise quiets, everything fades away until it’s just the two of them. race is aware of how cheesy this all sounds in his head, but he can’t bring himself to care.

it was those three words, he knows it was. they've been saying those words to each other for so long; in quick, fleeting moments, in long, heartfelt talks. 

"can you stay the night?" race whispers. 

"'course i can," albert responds in a soft tone. 

“thank you, albie. i love you.”

“and i love you, tonio. always.”

---

i wanted to fit race telling al abt why he’s scared into this but i couldnt find a way to do that without rewriting basically the whole thing, and i love what i have so i didnt want to do that.

long story short… anyone want a lil part 2? :)

-sanj <3

tag list:

@one-candy-cane-please | @suddenly-im-respecsable | @intoomanyfandomstopickaname | @be-more-chill-evan-hansen | @aw-jus-let-em-try | @getchapapes | @well-the-kids-do-too | @auspicioustarantula | @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn | @have-we-got-news-for-you | @not-a-scab | @pineappapizza | @andthewoildwillknow | @concrete--donuts | @stopthe-presses | @thomasbeingthomas | @i-love-loki-and-sherlock | @maxvanna | @spot-me50-papes | @and-i-lostmy-shoe | @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing | @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog | @backgroundensemble | @ridin-in-style | @sunshine-e-cigarettes | @macaroni-0verlord | @probablyeunoia | @thebroadwayaesthetic | @how-bout-a-crookedpolitician | @fellthroughableedingtrapdoor | @awkwardstranger98 | @bxnesof92 | @papesdontsellthemselves

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]

[floorbed]

7 19 23 35 40 52 69 for The Jester and The Crimegirl

thank you so much bee omg i loved the questions u made sm!!! time for Them. this is super super long im sorry njdkkfkrenkjr

7. which party member do they understand the least?

for pen it is probably alba if he had to pick anyone? just because he can do Crazy Shit Sometimes. but pen still feels like he understands him v well!!

for agni its probably elvira! she is from a place she knows next to nothing about besides what elvira’s explained or what she’s learned from school, she is 100+ years old, yeah! while agni doesnt like fully Understand her she still thinks she’s really cool!! it was rlly nice of her to try and comfort her when she initially found out abt Rei Time. and also knitted her a pretty holster that was so nice of her!!

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t?

pen’s is home. so mf much he genuinely loves his party a lot and has gotten really attached but also like he misses home so bad it hurts. he felt like he was an intrinsic part of something that he fit perfectly and was never gonna have to give up, and he got to be w everyone he cared about all day. he’s haunted by mikolai’s wedding lol. he’s also haunted by The Shit That Went Down Pertaining To His Exile, His Subsequent Exile, Making the Pact,  Dying, Making The Pact Pt 2, The Thing He Had To Do After He Made The Pact, And Then Also Dying Again. he’s haunted by holding ori dead in his arms and bringing her back using power he now understands was from a Not That Great Place. he barely knew her then but he still thought about it all the time, and now he thinks abt it even more lol! he just is not used to life being. Like This. at all. he was a vvvvvv spoiled kid. (some nobility complex part of him is haunted by lydia! stupid jester!) 

he’s not haunted by everyone he’s been a bitch to lol, unless he vocally apologized for it later nfjnf. he’s not haunted by vargas. uh

agni is not haunted by most things and That’s On her super healthy coping mechanism! she tries to not think about her personal life with that much weight, she tries to keep it abstract in her head? but also there are some things she can’t help but get Unnamed Bad Feeling from instinctively. rei. w how last session fucking turned out lol, watching seras collapse in the doorway Will Def Become One. Moms Time, both for individual reasons. sometimes, not being accomplished, but that also filters into Moms Time. everything else tho she kind of just vibes through. 

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

pens Official Title is penance the jester, court jester of tarbyen (and he makes sure no one forgets it lol.) everyone he grew up around had official titles so it made him feel realllyyy good abt himself that he had one too! (he likes that the party’s nicknamed him pen tho, he thinks its sweet >:) ) his Name name is camil, but only his mom n mikolai called him that, so he thinks its very like..... informal, and he likes being a Formal Title Boy, but also it makes him go all soft bc the two ppl he loved most called him that!! conflicting feelings. 

agni’s had her nickname since she was really young i think, one of those like, you’re in fantasy kindergarten and learning how to spell and your first name is rlly long, so u employ a nickname very early Kind Of Moments. her full name is agnodice and she likes it well enough! it feels very kind of like. stiff and formal to her tho. she thinks agni suits her better!

35. which party member do they worry for?

pen worries for All Of Them. he tries to follow juni when he’s having one of his (as pen puts it) “freak out moments” bc he’s scared someday it’s going to be something that really hurts him, and he wants to be there to help if it does. pen has fully accidentally triggered ori before, and he feels really bad about it, especially since her triggers literally Set Her On Fire. so you know. he tries to be really careful with his words around her, especially since the incident a couple sessions ago. also, he is Very Concerned abt all of her past stuff with the mahne that he’s recently learned abt, especially putting together all the past knowledge she’s given him abt the river and what to do in a pact and Where Exactly She Got That Info From. he’s grateful she’s not in any of that anymore, though, whatever the mahne is exactly. alba’s impulsivity worries pen n he wants to make sure alba doesnt accidentally Put Himself In A Situation accidentally w that someday. 

agni worries for theodosia, just because she seems to know a lot about the fucked up illness time thats going on and it seems to rlly effect her and she knows it cld be coming from prior past experience? she also worries for cyrus because of the whole you know. his family’s shop and home being burned to the ground Situation, even though theyve since recovered it couldnt have been good for him. worries for kai, also, because he is Small Baby Boy. but worries as in like. does so in her agni way and it may not come across as such?

40. do they enjoy poetry?

pen loves poetry he heard a lot of epics at home!! the stories were Less fun when it was about like, war and bloodshed and stuff, but he loved them when they were all pretty n flowery or like romantic 🥺

agni likes hearing poetry recited, especially when it has a specific repetitive syllable pattern she can get lost in!

52. from whom do they seek validation?

pen simply be like [wants validation from nobility noises]. its his Complexes. thats why being @ ravenloft rn is so... bad for him lol bc hes getting like all the positive attention from important people hes wanted for his entire life, oops. hes literally living out a dream being asked to dance with someone so important!! he also seeks validation a lot from like powerpful women bc of growing up with his mom and how much he looked up to her and cared about her, which manifests itself a lot w wanting attention from ori and jenny (and previously w lady wachter lol) and also the lady of delights. 

growing up agni sought validation from her mothers n instructors, now (while she still wants momsvalidation) she looks for validation mostly from herself, which is kind of bad bc she never feels fully satiated w her work n accomplishments! 

69. how would they describe their party members?

for pen: ori feels like an older sister to him, hes too scared to express as much, but yeah! she is warm (he means figuratively but also lol) and Kind and Competent and Smart and above all, Safe. he defintely feels like, the safest with her than anyone else he’s encountered in his life, both i mean in the physical protection sense but moreso the emotional sense! yeah. juni is.,, complicated. at first pen was uhhh scared of him bc of the whole Sorcerer Thing, but after all of them talked abt it at jenny’s, that feeling passed and he was more just concerned for him than anything. he is Powerful and Pretty and even though he’s been thru a lot of things pen himself cant even comprehend juni’s still Soft and Understanding and pen really admires that about him! alba is Also Complicated, for different reasons. pen thinks he is Reckless and Impulsive but also Smart in his own little scheme way, and pen really appreciates him as like a constant in his life? like yeah, he is scary and concerning sometimes but he’s always Predictably as such and while pen doesn’t see alba as all that loyal in general pen is kind of blind to that stuff when it comes to ppl in relation to him, so he’s just glad he’s met someone that wants to stick with him.

for agni: cyrus is so nice to her!! he feels like a capital f Friend in her head and so far like. she’s only had one of those before so thats really cool!! he helps her out a lot and she tries to do what she can to be there for him too! it was nice of him to teach her abt Beach Swimming. theo is really cool and agni loves seeing her in her element doing Medicine Stuff she thinks she is really smart w that kind of thing and rlly respects her practice, agni’s also very interested in her magic!! she thinks dendy is small little lizard guy who sings silly songs. greatly appreciates him. she wld follow kai blindly into terrible plans because she wants to make sure this cool teen is alright , is thankful to know he can turn into a bear at will and she didnt do that on accident that one time! amadeus is confusing and hard to keep track of in her head, but at the end of the day she thinks he’s very caring and just looking out for people. adaeze is really fun to hang out with and she is both concerned and greatly impressed w her just straight up downing one of fer’s Fucked Up And Evil Potions no questions asked, bc thats something even Agni’s too scared to do. thinks her sword is very interesting in terms of the arcane, wants to see what happens w all that! elvira is super different from anyone agni’s been around but she thinks she’s an amazing artist and would love to see her home bc she talks about it so vividly!! 

[gunmetalgrey-trashpile]

SMS [ bucky ] : for @diabolicaltendencies​​

SMS [ bucky ] : i know everything about him, more than anyone SMS [ august 📷 ] : but good luck kicking my ass, id like to see it

SMS [ bucky ] : ive fucked over bigger people than u pal dislocated my brothers shoulder and he’s 6.3 u even got two shoulders?? SMS [ bucky ] : height isnt everything i got one and a half SMS [ bucky ] : so that’s half the job done right there Ur literally fighting with an arm tied behind ur back bro SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah and ill still beat you ask august abt that SMS [ bucky ] : fat chance loverboy even my fucking ex was bigger than u and I put him in A&E U fought Auggie?? u really do have a death wish SMS [ august 📷 ] : we didn't fight fight but i can beat him at armwrestling so ill take my chances with you SMS [ bucky ] : he’s got a heart probably did it bc he felt bad 4u SMS [ august 📷 ] : oh no this was a fair fight SMS [ bucky ] : says who SMS [ august 📷 ] : me and if you ask august, him too SMS [ bucky ] : ill yell at him through the door although maybe he’s not so strong he hasn’t broken it SMS [ august 📷 ] : im rooting for him to kick it down i just think itd be fun but yeah see what he says SMS [ bucky ] : i will kill you and dump ur body off a bridge SMS [ august 📷 ] : you wish i liked it better when you werent threatening murder SMS [ bucky ] : tough titties SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah i guess so SMS [ bucky ] : he won’t reply I think he might be sulking SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah well you stole his phone SMS [ bucky ] : that doesn’t make him special i don’t have a phone what was I supposed to do SMS [ august 📷 ] : get a phone of your own? SMS [ bucky ] : gross -100 why would you even suggest that SMS [ august 📷 ] : because thats what normal people do SMS [ bucky ] : what am I then Choose ur next words carefully SMS [ august 📷 ] : not normal SMS [ bucky ] : :middle_finger1: SMS [ august 📷 ] : you asked for it and i was nice SMS [ bucky ] : I am a GIFT My presence is a PRESENT You are lucky to have any of my time thank you very much SMS [ august 📷 ] : am i? i mostly remember being interrogated SMS [ bucky ] : not everyone gets that pleasure ok SMS [ august 📷 ] : do other people keep a closer eye on their phones? SMS [ bucky ] : you’d think so but no I’m pretty sure my brother has a fake one as he’s less bothered about it SMS [ august 📷 ] : which one? but it seems likely, if this is something you do a lot SMS [ bucky ] : the politician don’t see much of the other two SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah wouldnt be surprised really? i guess august said severin was a doctor SMS [ bucky ] : docs busy yeah baby’s song whatever he does mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:12 i guess it's hard to keep track with so many of you SMS [ bucky ] : so many better get learning pal if you ever want to make it that far mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:14 i've got a handle on what he's told me so far but yeah i'll do what i can SMS [ bucky ] : august tell you much about his side? mynameisuntoldYesterday at 22:15 a little bit - he mentioned his brother SMS [ bucky ] : Must not like you that much then SMS [ august 📷 ] : how come? he's allowed some privacy though apparently not from you SMS [ bucky ] : privacy and trust aren’t the same thing SMS [ august 📷 ] : okay yeah thats true but i dont think hes cheating or anything and if i dont have his trust thats on me SMS [ bucky ] : it is buckski SMS [ august 📷 ] : i am actually trying with him just so we're clear SMS [ bucky ] : what does trying look like cheating?? ur at the monogamy stage?? SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah i think so SMS [ bucky ] : or is this assuming?? SMS [ august 📷 ] : half assuming half it's been long enough that i wouldnt be surprised given that he's kept coming back, im counting that as a win since he's all over the world half the time SMS [ bucky ] : wow sounds like someone needs a big boy conversation SMS [ august 📷 ] : probably but im not having that with you SMS [ bucky ] : why not im a big boy SMS [ august 📷 ] : because it's between me and him SMS [ bucky ] : I am now the referee of ur relationship do u really like him SMS [ august 📷 ] : that's weird yes SMS [ bucky ] : promise me i will fuck ur life up of you mess with him im not kidding SMS [ august 📷 ] : i promise SMS [ bucky ] : im an expert at it SMS [ august 📷 ] : you've got my full backing to fucking up lives? SMS [ bucky ] : google me you’ll see he deserves someone who’s going to put him first no matter what SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah ill do that he does and i hope i can SMS [ bucky ] : so you break his heart you’ll live in total misery till ur dying day or I kill u Whichever comes first SMS [ august 📷 ] : good shovel talk its good you care about him and ill keep it in mind SMS [ bucky ] : more than anything pal you should be very afraid of me SMS [ august 📷 ] : ill allow you that id be afraid to see what youd do even if i can definitely take you in a fight SMS [ bucky ] : watch ur back I come armed which is easy in ur country SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah dont fucking remind me not to say i probably couldnt come armed too for that exact reason SMS [ bucky ] : u shoot? SMS [ august 📷 ] : not much anymore but yeah army SMS [ bucky ] : wait that’s what you meant by vet ahhhhhhhhhh SMS [ august 📷 ] : yeah did you think i worked with animals fuck that's hilarious and that's why i can take you in a fight SMS [ bucky ] : shut the fuck up SMS [ august 📷 ] : no im having a good time SMS [ bucky ] : why was I supposed to think it WASNT that SMS [ august 📷 ] : because its obvious??? add the arm and you've got all the context you could want SMS [ bucky ] : you could have lost it to a big dog or a horse idk SMS [ august 📷 ] : i dont live near horses but yeah maybe or a rat theyre big here SMS [ bucky ] : HOW BIG SMS [ august 📷 ] : i knew someone who saw one that was catsized SMS [ bucky ] : yh good luck m8 of ur not a horse guy SMS [ august 📷 ] : definitely seen one close to that why oh your family yeah ive never rode SMS [ bucky ] : well now I want u to survive the fight just to die that way SMS [ august 📷 ] : ill survive the fight and watch for rogue horses

[angeliclunaetic]

just thinking back to the day i met him, till now and,, there was always something about him. something that drew me in and everything just felt right. That day we met,, something about him just drew me in. idk if it was his sense of humor or just how polite n sweet and caring he was in general but it was,, something. idek why i even texted him in the first place. i just commented on his stuff and decided to text him. we talked for a few and then he showed me a pic of himself and i was just,, in awe. he really was the cutest thing ever. yes i had thought abt using him when i first saw him but,, i couldnt even if i had wanted to. i seen his pic and thought “yeah he looks like he’d be easy to use” but then by the end of texting him that night,, i fell so deeply for him. actually no. i already fell for him. way before we even met. that must be how everything felt so right. but just texting him a little bit that first night,, i just instantly wanted to know more about him. i never even talked abt someone else to my gc and for some reason i had the urge to talk about him,, like i knew he was the one but didn’t realize it. and then when we called for the first time,, i swear i had butterflies. even though i was otp with him and his friend,, i was so nervous to just talk to him. i had thought of him as my crush at that point. no one had ever made me feel that way. i never got so nervous to talk to anyone. i wanted to stay quiet that entire time so i wouldnt say something stupid and embarrass myself but something about him,, made me want to be so open. so i talked to him,, and when we got off the phone of our first call,, i was so incredibly sad. i wanted to talk to him more and more and i just wanted to call him again already,, but i wasnt sure how he had felt or if he even felt the same. i thought he did but i didnt wanna assume and make a fool out of myself. i wasnt sure if he had a crush or if he was just being nice. but after a while it was easy to realize. he was way too sweet and caring to me. more than a friend should be. he was there for me the night i was bawling otp w my ex. and he got mad and upset about how my ex was treating me in a way that was different than just my friends. and thats what made me fall for him even more. just him. being himself. him being so sweet. so caring. him just being there for me and not judging me and wanting others to treat me right. and when we videocalled that first time,,i was so nervous. i was worried he’d see what i look like and not be attracted to me anymore. but he still was. but i was so nervous anyways. but when i saw him on video call for the first time,, i was in shock. how could someone be so cute. so perfect. how could someone capture my heart just by simply smiling at me. i knew from then, that i, was in love with him. i wanted to be his so badly. but when he had asked me out i wanted to just scream yes at him,, but something in my mind told me to just calm down and wait,, however a part of me was worried that if i had made him wait that he’d find someone better and leave me. but he didn’t he stayed. even after that night i had told him everything. of how i used to use people and how i had originally planned to use him and he still stayed. i swear i felt my heart break that night and i was crying so much out of fear that he’d leave me before we even got together. i had such strong feelings for him and i wanted him to be mine. but i wanted to make sure i was away from,, that thing,, and that i fully loved him before i got into anything serious. i didnt wanna jump from relationship to relationship either. a part of me just wanted to be single and just have fun. but just,, talking to him and texting him,, i wanted him. i didnt care if i wasnt single. i just wanted him. but also a part of me didnt want to love again. or “love” as i should say considering i never loved anyone before him. i was mentally and emotionally exhausted and relationships are just so much work and you have to give someone such a large piece of yourself and i wouldnt be able to handle being broken again. so many thoughts ran through my head. “what if i dont love him, what if im just attracted to him because im going through things and he’s there for me” “what if he wont wait for me” “what if he doesnt like me “ “what if im using him and dont realize” “what if i get hurt” all these “what if’s” and i never once thought abt the reality of it all. that i, had feelings for him. that he felt the same. that he was willing to wait for me, even if it took years. that he would never hurt me and even allowed himself to be hurt by me if that meant even just getting a chance at me loving him. i guess i was just so worried and just in shock. no ones felt so deeply for me before.and that night that i had asked him out,,, i had seen a pic of my ex with this new girl and i felt absolutely nothing towards it. so then,, thats when i knew. i was over him. that emotional attachment was gone. and my feelings for sam were real. and we had called that night,, that entire night i was so nervous and got butterflies, and i realized i never stopped smiling once during that whole phone call. and after we got of,, i, once again, was extremely sad. i wanted to hear his voice talking to me for hours and hours. i wanted to smile and feel nervous and get butterflies. and at that point i was like,, fuck it. yes i was still worried that my feelings werent true. but what was the harm in trying. he was the only person to have caught my eye in like,, ever. he was on my mind that whole night and probably abt like 30 mins after we got off call i asked him out. my feelings for him were too strong. i was worried he wouldnt wait and i couldnt risk losing someone as special as him to someone else,, if i did, i wouldve never forgiven myself. im glad i asked him out. even though i had surprised myself by it,, i just couldnt wait any longer,, i needed to make him mine. and i did. and i wouldnt change it for the world. the first month for me was very,, rough. of course we were still getting to know each other and our boundaries,, and i of course made some mistakes. my fears of possibly not having true feelings were coming back. and it pushed him away because he didnt wanna get hurt. and he almost left me. those two nights that we had an issue and he had left me,, they broke me. they really did. that  was the worst i had ever been. the crying,, the screaming,, the anger and complete sadness i felt. i felt as if i had lost everything. i felt as if i had nothing left. if i didnt have him,, then,, who am i. im nothing without him. he’s my other half. my soulmate. and i thought i had lost him. im glad im so annoying and clingy otherwise i’d be so fucking heartbroken without him. we had only been together for less than a month those two times and yet i felt so strongly for him. nothing has ever made me feel this way. i had never wanted to keep someone in my life so bad before. it was like,, i needed him to breathe. i needed him to smile. i just,, needed him. i cant live without him. just thinking about a life without him makes me fucking sick. i want him and only him for the rest of our lives. no one can even compare to him. im just,, in shock. like im really in love with him and it just amazes me. im sitting here writing this as he’s sound asleep and i just. i miss him a lot. i guess all my feelings are coming out now since ive been distant the past month but,, i dont care. ill gladly shout from the rooftops how much i love him. god there’s so much more i could say about us. even before we started dating. i cant get over the rush i felt. the excitement, the nerves, the butterflies,, even all the “what if’s”,, i still get nervous and get butterflies when talking to him but ofc they’re not gonna be as strong as when we had met and declared our love for each other. speaking of love,, now im reminded of the day i had told him that i love him,, we had “argued” the day before and i thought i had lost him for good,, and that next day,,i wanted nothing more than to just hold him and kiss him and tell him that i love him. i know the words “i love you” is such a meaningful thing,, i couldnt help but tell him. its exactly how i felt. i loved him. i couldnt be apart from him,, even after only a week of dating him,, i was in love that night i thought he was leaving me for good,, absolutely broke me. and the next day i just wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. even though i was so nervous to tell him that i loved him,, i just,, i knew i was sure. no one had ever made me feel so strongly about them. yeah ive cried over my ex. but nothing could ever compare to just the complete distraught i felt that night. that crying so much it burned my throat and threw up,, the screaming,, just the complete sadness and anger i felt. after that,, i knew i loved him, and i wasnt afraid to tell him. i was nervous bc of how he’d react but i knew that i was never more sure of anything else in my life. i love him. and i want to be with him forever.