#i couldn't figure out what about it was bugging me and pulling on my heart and soul untill

[haydenthewitch]

still not over this by the way

The shame of "I'm exactly as evil as they said i would be" followed by "i'm despreate to fix something" followed by "And it feels like a prayer" are doing things to my religous tramua guys why would you do this to me

[alchemistc]

There's been something about the woobification of Buck that's been sitting on the tip of my tongue for weeks now, and I think I've finally figured it out.

This is, of course, mostly in reference to the moral outrage about a decade-ish (give or take) age gap between two adult men and the infantalization of one said grown man, so all the puritanism isn't really coming from a place of good faith anyway, but here's the thing that's been bugging me that I couldn't quite put a finger on until now.

Buck has people he goes to for certain things. He has, what are in his mind, experts in the field for most of the things he can't think through on his own, that he goes to for a sounding board.

He went to Hen to talk through the sperm donor dilemma for a few reasons that made sense to him. 1) She's a mom. She has very much had to deal with the reality of 'giving up' children she considered her own. Buck is aware that he would be giving up something that could mean something to him, and he wants to talk to someone who has some insight into that. 2) She's dealt with IVF. She knows the risks, she knows the trials and tribulations, she knows about this thing that he is thinking about agreeing to be a part of so she's going to have a fuller grasp on the enormity of everything this process entails.

And they drink about it. Hen gives him what she can and cautions him where she thinks she should and they continue to talk about it and regardless of what SHE thinks, he makes his mind up in part because he got to talk to his Expert.

Bobby is often his go to when he feels like he's losing his grip on things. He's seen Bobby staring down the bottom of the bottle. He's seen the work he's done to pull himself back into the world, and he's seen the way he fights for his family, his people. Buck leans on him in times of questioning himself because he knows Bobby has pulled himself off the ledge with bleeding hands and a bleeding heart.

He reaches out to Maddie about interpersonal shit constantly. We see it all the way back in S2 when he's starting to question what the hell he's still doing in Abby's apartment, and that never really changes. She's the one with advice for him when he's angry with his parents, upset with the firefam, worried about his friends, or just generally concerned with the way he's perceived by people or how he perceives the world. He goes to her when he's embarrassed, ashamed, because he knows she won't judge him for it. She'll call him out, for sure, but she's not going to look at him differently when she knows he's done something he considers bad behavior.

When he goes to her during the Tommy arc, he's there for one reason he'll admit, and another she has to ferret out. 1) He lied to his best friend and he doesn't know why. 2) Oh yeah he went on a date with a dude that's not strange WHY IS THAT STRANGE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ALLY PLEASE DON'T PULL BACK THE CURTAIN - and Maddie is there with two things: 1) It's not weird but it IS new and something you clearly haven't worked through all the way which is why 2) you'll tell Eddie when you're ready

And Eddie is sort of his go-to to bounce ideas off of. Eddie is his Buck expert. Eddie is the guy who can sort through all the bullshit and who sees Buck for exactly who he is, every time, regardless of what Buck himself is thinking. Eddie is his best friend, and he knows the good the bad and the ugly better than anyone else. He is also, quite frankly, the one Buck seeks out to help him contextualize all of his romantic feelings for people. Eddie's the guy he talks to when he's interested in someone, when he's falling for someone, he's the guy through which Buck filters his love interests into the firefam. I do the same shit with my best friend. It's instinct to want the person you consider the expert on you to meet the person you are interested in, it's instinct to want them to like each other, to get along. Buck knows Eddie loves him (in whatever way you see that love, Buck knows Eddie loves him) and he wants this person who loves him to be at least an active listener as he talks himself through the minefield of relationships. I do also think that up until the events of season seven, Buck considers Eddie sort of an expert on that traditional love-marriage-kids-white-picket-fence relationship Buck thinks he's striving for - in a very naive way, because obviously the wasn't what Eddie and Shannon had and Buck knows that, but he's probably fed some of Eddie's rose colored reminiscences back into that notion.

When he comes out to Eddie he's got two worries. 1) I lied to you and I figured out why but I'm still a little worried you think it's weird and 2) I screwed it up with someone I really like and I don't know where to go from here.

And Eddie (Buck expert) reassures him that just because it's new and unexpected doesn't make it strange, that it doesn't change anything in their friendship. And then he gets right to the heart of it - if you like him you should reach out and tell him that. He doesn't know you like we do but if you give him the chance to, he'll love you as much as we do. If he doesn't give it the same shot you want to he's the idiot.

With all that context in mind, Buck isn't seeking out Tommy's attention because he wants an authority figure, or someone to take care of him, someone to guide him through sex or love or relationship dynamics or any of the other random shit I've seen ppl infantalizing Buck about.

What he's looking for, and what he ultimately tells Tommy he'd like to pursue, is a partnership. Someone to walk (or more likely for Buck, speedrun) through experiences together. The Athena to his Bobby, the Chim to his Maddie, the Karen to his Hen.

So every time I see someone infantalizing Buck for seeking out a relationship with an older man for X or Y reason, I'm just like - no. He has Bobby, Hen, Maddie, Eddie, Chim etc for that. He doesn't want or need Tommy for that. He is a grown ass man who has built these strong relationships with his peers and his mentors and he is so fucking aware of that because he reaches for their help any time he feels the urge for a helping hand.

So yeah, Tommy's older. Yes, Tommy has more experience with his sexuality than Buck. And that - that's really it. Buck's been in the same career for more than half a decade. He's lived on his own since he was no older than 19/20. He's had serious relationships, he has a rich and fulfilling life. There is no power imbalance in the relationship between Buck and Tommy.

And while the age gap may be a bit of a draw for Buck, it's not WHY he's attracted to Tommy. We know because he's told Maddie. He's cool. He's interesting. He's confident. He has a cleft.

Buck isn't going into this waiting for someone older and more experienced to take the fucking reins. He felt like he clicked with Tommy, like there was an immediate connection, and yes, Tommy had to kiss him about it for Buck to actually figure out what it was he was experiencing, but from that point on it was all on Buck (and the people he leans on for advice) to help him sort through.

Tommy didn't do shit other than pump the brakes and try to give Buck the space he thought he needed to decide what he was ready for. Buck (again, with the help of his experts - Maddie for the emotional piece of it, Eddie for the Buck of it all) did the work on his own. Tommy didn't swoop in and overbearingly hold his hand through a sexual awakening. He kissed him, asked him out, realized he wasn't ready, stepped back and then checked in multiple times when Buck came back at it going 120 miles an hour.

And then he did everything he could to prove to Buck he wanted the same thing - a partner, someone to talk to, and lean on, and flirt with and rely on to show up whenever they could feasibly manage it (and sometimes when it's a little unfeasible too).

The narrative even acknowledges that Buck had no reason to go to Bobby in this scenario, when he often would, and lays out exactly why.

Within the canon of this particular arc, we're meant to see this as Buck realizing he has the experience necessary to think these things through on his own. This is Buck finally taking control of something that's always felt like it fell into his lap a bit. This is Buck doing more than treading water until his legs give out.

And minimizing that growth bc you personally don't like the LI he's pursuing is gross at best. At worst it's something much more insidious.

[roosterforme]

The Dirty Details | Rooster x Reader

Summary: The details of how Bradley lost his virginity come as a surprise to you. When you learn how and why he became a consent king, your heart breaks for him. You vow to do everything you can to always make him feel as loved and comfortable as he makes you feel, in and out of the bedroom.

Warnings: Angst, fluff, mentions of sex while intoxicated, mentions of sexual assault

Length: 2200 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

When you walked into the Hard Deck with Bradley's arm slung over your shoulder, you looked up at him and said, "This is the first time we've been here together since we got married."

"You're right," he rasped, kissing your forehead. "And now I've got this new hardware on my finger that repels all other women."

"Oh, that sounds nice," you told him with a laugh as you led the way through the huge New Year's Eve crowd. "That one over there is looking at you, Roo. Hold up your left hand."

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "You're the only one I'm looking at, Baby Girl."

"That's Mrs. Bradshaw to you."

Bradley smirked when you smiled at him. "You're just begging to leave early, aren't you?"

You shrugged casually, but you knew for a fact that you'd be able to get Bradley to leave before midnight if you bugged him enough. If you told him you wanted him to take you to bed, he'd be leading you back to the Bronco right away.

But instead you walked into Jake's open arms and hugged him. "Angel," he drawled as he turned you to face the bar. "Your cute coworker is here."

You searched the bar area, and sure enough your eyes found Cat Coleman's, and she waved to you. "Why don't you go talk to her?" you suggested, but Jake adamantly refused. 

"No, it was just an observation," he said before wandering over to Nat. He was so transparent, it was ridiculous. 

"Okay, Jake," you muttered, and then Bradley was handing you a beer.  

"Hey, how was your trip to Maryland for Christmas?" Nat asked as she gave you a hug.

Before you could even respond, Jake loudly said, "Didn't you hear? They didn't even go anywhere at all. Rooster here has been trying to figure out how things work since he lost his virginity on their wedding night. Missed Christmas all together since he's been trying for weeks to find the clit."

You started laughing, and you could feel and hear Bradley's laughter behind you. 

"Hey, Hangman," he said, chuckling. "Fuck you."

"Yeah, Hangman," Nat replied. "That's not how Rooster lost his virginity. I know the whole scoop on that one." She was wiggling her eyebrows and looking smug.

"You do?" you asked Nat, suddenly shocked at the realization that you had no idea about any of the details of your husband's first time.

You turned to look up at Bradley as he sipped his beer, cheeks pink as he met your gaze. 

"Yep," Nat replied, her tone teasing. "Seventeen years old in the backseat of his car with a college girl. An older woman!"

"Really?" you asked Bradley, and he just nodded at you. "She was in college? How old was she?"

"Twenty," Bradley told you quietly while Nat and Jake hooted loud enough to get Payback and Fanboy in on the conversation, too. You could vaguely hear them all comparing their own virginity dirty details, but all you could see was the strange look on Bradley's face.

"What's wrong, Roo?" you asked, wrapping your arms around his waist. "Would a quickie in the bathroom make you feel better?" You started to pull him toward the hallway with a grin, but he just shook his head. 

"Nah. Not tonight."

You couldn't remember the last time he had turned you down in any capacity. Had he ever? Certainly not recently since you'd come off birth control, since you'd become his wife. You were honestly a little stunned. 

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, Sweetheart," he replied, kissing your forehead. "Wanna play pool?"

But you could tell something was definitely bothering him, even after you agreed to be his partner against Jake and Javy. Because he was awfully quiet compared to how he normally was, and his smile just wasn't quite reaching his eyes. 

But he still pulled you into his arms whenever you were near him, so you let him play a few rounds of pool and have another beer before you tugged on his hand. "Ready to head home?" you asked, tucking yourself against his side. 

"You don't want to stay until midnight?" he asked, eyebrows raised as you looked up at him. 

"No. I want to take you home, Roo."

It took twenty minutes to say goodbye to everyone which meant that you were just pulling into the driveway at the stroke of midnight. Bradley had been singing along to his Motown playlist, and when he put the Bronco in park, you climbed onto his lap. 

"Happy New Year, Baby Girl," he rasped. Then your lips softly met his while he finished singing Baby I Need Your Loving. 

"Will you tell me what's wrong now, Roo?" you asked. You didn't want to press him if he didn't want to talk about it, but he'd been fine when you first arrived at the bar. 

"It's nothing. It's so stupid," he whispered, taking the key out of the ignition and sighing as he climbed out with you in his arms. Once he set you down, you strolled up to the front door with him right at your heels, and you paused with the key in the lock. 

"Okay. But you listen to me all the time. Even when it's something stupid."

"You never say anything stupid, Baby Girl," he kissed your cheek as you opened the door. He was being lovely, but you wanted him to open up for you. He always felt better whenever he did. 

When you made your way to the bedroom and turned on the lamp on your nightstand, Bradley's beautiful face was bathed in soft light, but his brow was pinched in frustration. You pressed your lips together to keep yourself quiet, and a minute later, you were rewarded not only by your husband in just his underwear, but also by his voice. 

"You know how Nat said she knows how I lost my virginity?" 

He was looking down at the bedding and running his fingers through his hair when you whispered, "Yeah?" You crawled to the middle of the bed, but he remained standing next to his side. 

"Well, she doesn't really know what happened. Nobody does." He laughed a bit awkwardly. "Well I guess one other person does."

You nodded and patted the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he grunted as he collapsed back against the pillows. "It makes me uncomfortable."

And for the first time ever, you felt like maybe he didn't want you to touch him. You were dying to know what was bothering him. No matter what it was, you wanted to try to fix it, try to give him comfort. That's what he always did for you. But you were at a complete loss right now, silently begging your husband to keep talking. 

He swallowed hard, and you watched his Adam's apple move against the scars on his neck. "Yeah, I was seventeen. Yeah, it was in the backseat of my mom's old, white station wagon that I had been driving. Yeah, it was with a girl who was in college. Her name was Morgan."

You licked your lips and kept your eyes on him while he looked at the ceiling. "I told you this was stupid, Sweetheart. I don't know why it still bothers me." When he reached out for your hand, you felt instantly better and worse at the same time. "I was drunk. It was a little while after my mom died, and I was living with her cousin Brenda. You remember Brenda, from when we were in Virginia?"

"Of course," you replied, playing with his fingers. "How could I forget? I met her when we got engaged. She wants us to come visit again this summer."

"Yeah," Bradley agreed. "Brenda is great." Then he paused for a few beats. "And you know, she tried so hard to make me feel comfortable and welcome there, but I just... didn't. I spent my senior year of high school partying with this group of college kids. We'd all go out in this wooded area near the lake and drink cheap liquor on the weekends. It was right after Mav pulled my papers. A couple months before my eighteenth birthday."

When he reached for you, there was no hesitation as you scrambled into his arms. You settled against his chest, his warm skin and the steady beat of his heart calmed you immediately, and you hoped you were giving him some comfort as well. 

"That girl, Morgan? I thought she was so cool at first. She was studying anthropology. She was smart. She got me drunk and didn't get upset when I talked about my mom. We would make out by the lake. Then one night, I was so drunk, and she told me to take her to my car. I thought we were just going to make out in the backseat."

"Oh, Bradley." You felt sick to your stomach. 

"I didn't tell her no, but I was too drunk to say much of anything. She knew that, but we did it anyway. In the back of my mom's car." 

You squeezed him tight as tears leaked from your eyes. "Roo. She took advantage of you. She should have never. That is not okay."

He sighed, and the sound of it made more tears fill your eyes. "I've never told anyone about it before. I feel a little better now."

"I love you, Roo," you promised, meeting his eyes. And somehow he was the one wiping your tears away when you were supposed to be comforting him. "You sweet man. That wasn't stupid. And you can tell me when something is bothering you. I want you to."

"I know," he agreed. "But sometimes it's hard to think about that night for more than a second. I try not to."

Then you sobbed as realization washed over you, and he pulled you a little closer. "Oh, Bradley! I've convinced you to have sex with me when you were drunk! More than once!"

"No, no, stop," he said firmly, kissing your lips. "It's not the same, Baby Girl."

"But if I ever made you feel uncomfortable-"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "We are in a committed relationship. We have been pretty much from the start. I always want you, and I initiate it 90% of the time when I've been drinking. You always have my consent, and I know you'd stop if I ever gave you the impression that I didn't want it. And I know you would never hurt me."

"Never," you agreed, letting your cheek rest on his shoulder. After a few minutes, you whispered, "You know, there's one really positive thing that came from this though."

"Is there?" he asked, a little skeptical as you stroked your fingers along his tattoo. 

"Yeah. You're the consent king. And I think you always were, even before we met."

"Hmm," he grunted. "Yeah, that's really important to me."

"I love that," you told him, kissing up along his neck until you reached his lips. "And I love you. And you're mine. And Morgan can take her anthropology degree and fucking kick rocks while she thinks about how terrible she is."

Bradley laughed. And your face melted into a smile as you realized how tense your body had been. 

"I fucking love you," he promised. And you knew he did.

-----------------------------

When you woke up the next morning to Bradley's lips on your shoulder as you were draped across him, you whispered, "Happy New Year."

"Mmhmm," he hummed against your skin. You wanted him in the worst way. He was so big and warm, and he smelled so good. He was yours. He was your husband. He was patient and sweet and everything you needed. And now, especially today, you wanted to make sure he knew that you really saw him. 

"Is it okay if I touch you?"

His lips paused on your shoulder as he rasped, "Yes. Please, touch me."

So you let your hands roam along the muscular planes of his abdomen and chest. You gently dug your fingers into his bicep. You grazed the scars on his cheek with your nose.

"Will you let me kiss you, Roo?"

He responded by kissing you first. His mustache was rough against your skin, but everything else about his embrace was so soft. His lips lingered before chasing yours over and over again.

Your voice was soft, lips brushing his. "I want to have sex with you, if that's what you want."

He kissed his way along your jaw to your ear. "I see what you're doing here, Baby Girl. And I love you for it. Yes, I want to have sex with you, too."

So you took it nice and slow, and you made sure he was comfortable, even though you were certain you could read all of his cues by now. But you'd remember to take that extra step here and there. It wouldn't be hard to do, because he always gave you more than you ever expected. You'd always remind him that what he wanted and needed was important to you, because that was exactly how he made you feel every day.

-------------------------

This one hurts a little bit. Because this really happens. I hope you can't relate to what Roo went through here, but if you can, I love you. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls.

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[horeformilfs]

Sorry to bug ya but I was wondering if you’d mind a Alcina x ex umbrella experiment s/o

Like there super snuggly because “this touch doesn’t hurt what!!”

If you want to add some Demi fam in there I am not opposed because it’s cute

Only if you wanna

A Family's Embrace

Dimitrescu Family x Gender Neutral Reader

TW: Panic Attack, PTSD, Nightmares

------------------------------------------------

The night was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of the wind against the ancient walls of Castle Dimitrescu. Y/N sat by the window, staring out at the endless stretch of darkness that cloaked the land. The room was warm, a stark contrast to the cold void outside, but inside, Y/N felt a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.

Alcina had taken Y/N in under Mother Miranda's request. What was once a dark, twisted experiment of the Umbrella Corporation had somehow found refuge in the imposing, yet oddly comforting embrace of the castle and its inhabitants. Lady Alcina Dimitrescu and her daughters had taken to Y/N almost immediately, showering them with a kind of warmth Y/N had never known. Yet, despite this new-found sanctuary, there was a barrier Y/N couldn't seem to break down.

"Y/N," Alcina's voice, smooth and deep, echoed from the doorway. Y/N turned slightly, catching sight of the towering figure of Alcina, her presence filling the room with a mix of elegance and power.

"Yes, Lady Dimitrescu?" Y/N replied, their voice barely above a whisper.

Alcina's crimson lips curved into a gentle smile as she crossed the room, her steps almost silent. "How many times must I tell you, dear? Call me Alcina." She reached out, intending to place a comforting hand on Y/N's shoulder, but Y/N flinched away, pulling back instinctively.

A flicker of frustration crossed Alcina's face, but she quickly masked it. "Y/N, why do you shy away from me? Have I done something to make you uncomfortable?" Her voice was still gentle, but there was an edge to it now, a hint of impatience.

Y/N looked down, their hands trembling slightly. "It's not that, Alcina. I just... I don't want to." Their voice broke at the end, and they clenched their fists, trying to steady themselves.

Alcina's patience was wearing thin. "Not want to? You barely speak to me, you avoid my touch, and yet you never explain why. Do you not trust me? After everything I've done for you?" Her voice rose with each word, the calm exterior cracking to reveal the storm beneath.

Y/N's heart pounded in their chest, the pressure of Alcina's words weighing heavily on them. "It's not about trust," they whispered, tears beginning to blur their vision. "I just can't..."

Alcina's temper snapped. "Can't what, Y/N? Can't let anyone in? Can't accept that someone might actually care for you?" She loomed over Y/N, her shadow engulfing them. "I have given you everything, and yet you give me nothing in return!"

The words hit Y/N like a physical blow. They stood, shaking, their mind a chaotic swirl of fear and confusion. "I'm sorry," they choked out, before turning and fleeing the room, leaving Alcina standing there, her anger giving way to a painful realization. 

Hours passed, and Alcina found herself pacing the halls of the castle, her mind replaying the confrontation over and over. She had always prided herself on her composure, but something about Y/N brought out a raw, unfiltered emotion she couldn't control.

Determined to make things right, she made her way to Y/N's room. She knocked softly, then opened the door, finding Y/N curled up on the bed, their face buried in their knees.

"Y/N," she said softly, the anger gone from her voice. "Please, talk to me."

Y/N looked into Alcina's eyes, seeing the sincerity and the pain reflected there. It was a moment of understanding, a fragile bridge being built between their two wounded souls. But the past held a tighter grip than Y/N had realized.

"I can't," Y/N whispered, the words heavy with regret. "I'm sorry, Alcina. I just can't let you in."

Alcina's hand froze, the warmth of her touch lingering in the air between them. A mixture of hurt and frustration flashed across her face. "Y/N, you don't have to do this alone. I want to help you, but you need to let me."

Y/N shook their head, tears streaming down their cheeks. "I'm broken, Alcina. And no matter how much you care, I can't change that. I don't know how to let anyone in without breaking even more."

The silence that followed was thick with unspoken words and shattered hopes. Alcina slowly pulled back, standing tall once more, her expression unreadable. "I understand," she said quietly, though the tremor in her voice betrayed her emotions. "I won't force you. But know this, Y/N: I am here for you, whenever you're ready."

Y/N nodded, unable to find the words to respond. They watched as Alcina left the room, her footsteps echoing down the hallway, leaving Y/N alone with their thoughts and fears.

The night seemed even darker now, the cold seeping back in as Y/N curled up on the bed once more. They knew Alcina's love was genuine, but the chains of the past were still too strong. And so, they lay there, wrapped in a cocoon of their own making, waiting for a dawn that felt so far away. 

Weeks passed in a tense stalemate. Every attempt Alcina made to offer comfort was met with the same response—Y/N flinching away, retreating further into their shell. Alcina tried to be patient, but the constant rejection gnawed at her. She wanted to break through, to help, but Y/N's walls remained impenetrable.

One night, a storm raged outside the castle, the wind howling and rain lashing against the stone walls. Y/N lay in bed, tossing and turning as memories of the experiments flooded their mind. In their nightmares, they were back in the sterile, cold labs of Umbrella, the pain and fear suffocating them.

A loud crack of thunder shook the castle, jolting Y/N awake. Heart pounding, drenched in sweat, they couldn't catch their breath. Panic seized them, and they bolted out of bed, the need to escape overwhelming their thoughts. Barefoot and in their nightclothes, they ran through the corridors, the storm's fury mirrored in their frantic pace.

They found themselves in the courtyard, the rain drenching them instantly, but they didn't stop. Lightning illuminated the path as they made their way to Alcina's wing of the castle. The wind howled, the storm's ferocity making the journey treacherous, but Y/N didn't care. They needed Alcina.

Reaching her door, they pounded frantically, their fists a blur against the heavy wood. "Alcina! Please!" they cried, their voice barely audible over the storm's roar.

The door swung open, and Alcina stood there, her eyes wide with shock. "Y/N?" She pulled them inside, closing the door against the storm's rage. Y/N stood before her, drenched and trembling, their eyes wild with fear.

"What's wrong?" Alcina asked, her voice gentle but firm, trying to anchor Y/N in the present.

"I... I can't breathe," Y/N gasped, clutching at their chest. "The nightmares... I can't..." Their words trailed off into sobs, their body shaking uncontrollably.

Alcina's heart ached at the sight. She wanted nothing more than to hold Y/N, to offer the physical comfort she knew they needed. But she held back, respecting their boundaries. Instead, she knelt down to their level, her eyes meeting theirs.

"Y/N, look at me," she said softly. "You're safe here. Focus on my voice."

Y/N's eyes darted around the room, their breath coming in short, shallow gasps. Alcina spoke again, her voice steady and calm. "In and out, Y/N. Breathe with me. In... and out..."

Slowly, Y/N tried to match Alcina's rhythm. The world narrowed to the sound of her voice, a lifeline in the storm of their mind. "That's it. You're doing great," Alcina encouraged, her eyes never leaving theirs.

Minutes passed, each one feeling like an eternity, but gradually, Y/N's breathing steadied. Their sobs subsided, leaving them exhausted and still shivering from the rain and the aftermath of their panic attack.

Alcina rose gracefully, her movements slow and deliberate. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes," she suggested. "I have something dry you can wear."

Y/N nodded weakly, too drained to argue. Alcina retrieved a robe from her wardrobe and handed it to them. She turned her back, giving Y/N privacy to change. Once they were in dry clothes, Alcina led them to a chair by the fireplace, where the warmth began to seep back into their bones.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alcina asked, sitting across from them, maintaining a respectful distance.

Y/N shook their head, their eyes downcast. "It was the same as always. The labs, the experiments... I couldn't escape."

Alcina's expression softened. "I'm sorry you have to go through this, Draga. I wish I could take away your pain."

"I know," Y/N whispered, their voice barely audible. "I'm sorry I keep pushing you away. It's not that I don't trust you. I just... I don't know how to accept help."

Alcina nodded, her eyes filled with understanding. "Healing takes time. And it's okay to take things at your own pace. Just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, and they looked at Alcina, seeing the unwavering support and care in her gaze. "Thank you," they said, their voice breaking. "I don't deserve your kindness."

Alcina shook her head gently. "Everyone deserves kindness, Draga Mae . Especially you."

For a moment, the room was silent, the storm outside a distant roar. Y/N took a deep breath, feeling a small measure of peace for the first time in what felt like forever. They still had a long way to go, but with Alcina by their side, maybe, just maybe, they could start to believe in the possibility of healing.

As the fire crackled and the storm raged on, Y/N felt a fragile hope begin to take root, nurtured by the warmth of Alcina's unwavering support. It wasn't a solution, but it was a step. And in that moment, it was enough. 

As the night slowly passed, Alcina stayed awake with Y/N, the storm outside gradually subsiding. The fire crackled softly, casting flickering shadows on the walls. Alcina kept a watchful eye on Y/N, who sat wrapped in a blanket, still trembling slightly from the ordeal.

After around two hours, Y/N, drained and needing sleep, gently curled into Alcina's side. Alcina hesitated for a moment, then softly rested her hand on Y/N's back. Y/N flinched but didn't pull away, a small but significant step.

"Draga," Alcina murmured, her voice gentle, "would it be alright if I held you?"

Y/N hesitated, their mind a whirl of conflicting emotions. The fear and trauma were still there, but so was Alcina's unwavering patience and care. Finally, they nodded, their voice barely a whisper. "Yes."

With utmost care, Alcina took Y/N and pulled them into her lap, wrapping her arms around them securely. Her touch was firm but gentle, a protective embrace that sought to shield rather than confine. It took a while for Y/N to relax, their body stiff and tense. Alcina remained still, her warmth a steady presence against Y/N's fears.

Gradually, Y/N's breathing slowed, and the tension began to melt away. They snuggled closer into Alcina's embrace, finding comfort in the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. "It's actually not bad," Y/N mumbled, their voice muffled against Alcina's chest.

Alcina smiled softly, her heart swelling with a mix of relief and tenderness. "I'm glad," she whispered, her hand gently stroking Y/N's hair. "Rest now, sweetheart. You're safe."

As Y/N and Alcina settled into their embrace, the tranquility of the moment was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Alcina glanced towards it, a hint of curiosity in her eyes, before rising to answer.

"Come in," she called out, her voice carrying a warmth that invited entry.

The door creaked open, revealing Daniela, Cassandra, and Bela standing in the doorway, their expressions a mix of concern and determination.

"We wanted to stay with you tonight, Mother," Daniela spoke up, her voice surprisingly gentle compared to her usual playful tone.

Y/N's heart sank at the sight of the three daughters, realizing they were intruding on what was meant to be a private moment. They began to untangle themselves from Alcina's embrace, intending to make a quick exit, but Bela's voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Where do you think you're going, little one?" Bela asked, her tone softer than usual, a hint of warmth in her gaze.

Y/N hesitated, unsure of how to respond. "I... I was just going to leave, so you could have time together," they murmured, their voice barely above a whisper.

Cassandra stepped forward, her expression earnest. "No, we want you to stay," she said firmly, her eyes meeting Y/N's with unwavering sincerity.

Y/N's heart swelled at the unexpected invitation, but they couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. "It's really okay, I don't want to intrude," they protested, their gaze flickering between the three sisters.

Bela approached them, her movements graceful yet purposeful. "Nonsense, little one," she said gently, reaching out to take Y/N's hand. "You're not intruding. You're part of our family now."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes at the simple, yet profound words. They nodded, their voice catching in their throat. "Thank you," they whispered, overwhelmed by the acceptance they found in the Dimitrescu sisters.

With a soft smile, Bela led Y/N back towards the bed, where Daniela had already curled up in Alcina's lap. Cassandra and Bela made room for Y/N to join them, and soon they were surrounded by the comforting presence of the Dimitrescu family.

As they settled in, Y/N felt a sense of belonging wash over them, a feeling they hadn't experienced in a long time. Bela's arm draped around them, offering a sense of security they had longed for. When tears threatened to spill once more, Bela gently brushed them away, her touch tender and reassuring.

"It's okay, little one," Bela whispered, her voice a soothing melody in the quiet room. "You're safe here with us."

And in that moment, as the storm raged outside and the fire crackled softly, Y/N knew they had found a home, not just within the walls of Castle Dimitrescu, but within the hearts of its inhabitants. And as they nestled closer into the embrace of their newfound family, they allowed themselves to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could find healing and happiness in the warmth of their love.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Cold as ice II

a/n because why not take an opportunity to cry some more. I am so thankful for all the love honestly! You guys are the best!✨🤍

summary: what happens when Ellie stumbles upon a memorial that turns out to have both your and Joel's kids names on it. When the past pain is brought back to the daylight even the coldest of hearts finally break.

This can be read as a standalone but is written as a part two to Cold as ice.

warning: Killing, mentions of multiple death, loosing your kids, supplement use, mention of miscarriage, trauma but I think this is not as bad as the first part lol.

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"How is she?", Tommy approached Joel in a tight corridor that was filled with both sobbing people and soldiers shouting. "The same," Joel ran a hand over his face, "They are moving everyone out of here today. To a different quarantine facility." Those words instantly sparked something in Joel. "What? Shit, she's still pumped up with meds", if the process of going there was as torture as it was getting here, you barely stood a chance.

"Joel", Tommy started, but Joel was all up at his face within a heartbeat, "Tommy, if you'll tell me one more fucking time to leave her by. I will blow out your brain's myself". The tone was anything but pleasant. Joel had been wanting to rip someone to pieces for some time now. He had beaten the stranger to a pulp here after the first day. The man was standing in front of the door that led to your room. Crunched down to look through the little window. Joel didn't ask questions; he just swung a punch. Nor did he remember much besides that when Tommy pulled him away, the man was nothing but a pool of blood.

"You know that's not what…", "She lost two kids…", Joel's words cracked mid-sentence as the thought of his two angels once again swirled in his mind. His biggest and most precious little bugs were taken away like that. "So did you, man", Tommy brought Joel closer to him. Joel's arms moved to grip the material of his brother's jacket. He didn't want to cry, but the sob had come out of nowhere. The past three days have been a nightmare and then some. Now Joel was sure that he was paying for all of his sins. Paying in the most brutal ways.

Dragging you away from the field was the second hardest thing Joel ever had to do. He could only pray that his arms would not let him down as he pressed you closer to his body. Joel wasn't sure what they injected into your neck once you reached an army van and practically ripped out the eyes of the soldier who tried to help you into the vehicle, but you collapsed immediately. Joel barely managed to catch you. He pressed your unconscious body against his. Just like he had for the past hour or so. Praying and hoping that you weren't gone. Joel couldn't lose all three of you. Now you were all he had to fight for. No matter how much pain he was in himself. Joel had to drag you both out of the darkness.

Then he sat in the chair next to your bed. If you could even call it that. When they had ushered everyone underground, Joel had bribed a nurse to give you three a room and make sure that a doctor would come to check you. At that time, the price didn't matter. He needed an answer. Needed to know that you were going to wake up. High dose of sedatives - the doctor had said. "But I doubt it'll keep her out for long. After two kids… My apologies. If I'll find any medication", he had placed a supportive palm on Joel's shoulder. Something that would also end up feeling so foreign soon.

If Joel thought seeing you unconscious was difficult, it didn't compare to the heartbreak he had to endure the moment you opened your eyes. You jolted with a gasp. Eyes jumped across the room as you tried to figure out where you were. "Love…", Joel stood up, slowly approaching you. "Sarah… Malakai," you murmured as you continued to look around. "How about a glass of water, huh?", Joel asked, hoping to sway the topic. But you pushed the blanket off your body. "Sarah and Malakai," you repeated. Joel clenched his jaw. "Sarah and Malakai," "Love, stay in bed," Joel put his hands on your legs, stopping you from pushing them over the edge. "Sarah…Malakai", you said once again, eyes looking up at Joel, "They killed them. I saw… I saw," you breathed out, pressing a finger to your forehead where the bullet had pierced your son's skull. "I know, baby, I know", Joel tried to gently hold onto you, but the moment his palms touched your arms, you let out the loudest scream. Pushing him away as you turned to the other side of the bed. You dragged your feet over the cold concrete. Sinking to the floor without even being able to take a step forward. Joel rounded the bed as he kneeled in front of you.

"They are dead," you cried out, pulling at Joel's shirt, "My babies… I need to go, I need to…", you tried to pull yourself up by using Joel to brace yourself, but that only made you glance down at your hands, which were still slightly stained by the dried blood that had been on them. "Y/N, you need to calm down. Or they will come in here and", but you paid Joel no mind as you pulled your hands up so you could look at them.

"Get it off," you whispered, "Get it off," pushing your arms towards Joel as you screeched. Joel had scrubbed your unconscious body for hours. There was nothing more he could do. "Joel, get it off," you said once more, tears spilling from your eyes, and Joel couldn't bring himself to do anything. "It's everywhere, get it off", you moved your hand to rub at your skin. All you saw was blood. Blood everywhere. Rubbing turned into scratching, and soon your nails were raking over your skin. Joel quickly caught both of your wrists in his hands. Shaking you slightly as if in hopes of making your return to your senses. "Make it stop", you cried out, hallow eyes looking at Joel. "There's nothing on your hands, love", he barely managed to sound somewhat like himself. But you just shook your head at him, "There's blood all over them. Our kids' blood, Joel."

That was a day ago. Now you just lay there. Leafless. No movements. Eyes blinking once in a while. The only indication that you were still alive. Now Joel wished you would scream. The silence was torture. It was too loud. It pulled you so far away from him. Tommy clapped his brother on the back a couple of times before pulling away. "Get her ready. I'll look at how to get the best spot for you and make sure you two stay together," Joel said nothing. He hoped his eyes said enough. "You look after her. We'll get her back up on her feet," Joel could tell that even if Tommy tried to keep it somewhat positive, he didn't fully believe it himself. Didn't believe that there was any coming back from this. Nor did he believe that you would ever be the same. But Joel nodded anyway.

"Hey", Joel ran a hand over your forehead, once he stepped back into the little room, but didn't get a single movement in return. Not that he was expecting it. "We will have to get you dressed, okay? Then we'll need to go somewhere," Joel said, carefully pulling the blanket off your body before reaching for your clothes. Clothes he had washed. Wash off your kids' blood. Blood that seemed never-ending.

You were shivering. It hadn't stopped ever since you were brought in the first QZ. It had died down a bit. But there wasn't a moment when the quivering stopped. Joel pressed a kiss to your forehead as he walked through the corridor. Everyone was on high alert, and the soldiers were tired. Jumpy even. More than one person was killed here simply in the aftermath of unimaginable stress and anxiety. They only let healthy, strong people stay. Anyone with any injury, even the slightest one, was shot. You needed to stand on your own two feet. Walk through the lines of different specialists. Prove yourself worthy of surviving. And even that didn't guarantee you anything. You could have been hit by a bullet at any point.

You, however, were in no condition to stand. There was no way you could walk, much less talk. "Keep your head at the crook of my neck, love", Joel guided your head to rest there, "I will not let go of you even for a second. No one who will approach us will take you away from me," and at this point, Joel wasn't sure if he was still reassuring you or if it had turned to self-reassuring now. With the help of the doctor who assisted you just as you were brought here. They filed the documents of you having a miscarriage. Right here at the QZ. A piece of paper that had the main doctor's signature and forbade you from walking. That had high dosages of medicine marked as a fallacious move by the doctor itself. That you were more than a healthy female before that, and that you would regain that strength once the medication wore off. The only hope Joel had of getting you out of here alive was that piece of paper. And if that didn't work… Well, Joel was ready to kill anyone who stood in his way.

"Joel," Ellie's sad voice pulled the male out of the trance, "Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this." Joel rested his palms on his knees, ready to stand up, but Ellie quickly inched forward. It seemed to her that the man in front of her was no longer the same Joel she knew. "How did you… how did you get through that?", she knew the question was stupid. Joel let out a sad chuckle followed by a painful sigh, "You don't even have an idea how much strength you have until you are forced to use it. That's when you truly see your power". Joel had locked his pain away. Behind a plethora of locks, doors, and crevices. So no one could see it. No one could access it. Draped a shield of coldness on top of it. The coldness made Joel seem more like an animal than a human. He had to become a monster in order to protect the only thing that kept his heart beating. Nothing was off-limits when it came to you.

"I felt like I was failing every day. Every day that I saw her lying there," Joel shook his head at the images that haunted him. The feeling of helplessness flowed through him. Joel had found a woman who could pretend to be you for the time being. Who could take your evening shifts. Who kept the target off your back. No one was allowed to lay around in the QZ, there was too much work as it was. "Joel you were far from failing her", Ellie said putting her hand on Joel's palm, "It feels different kiddo when you see someone you love drifting away".

All the worried looks that Joel would give you made sense now. All the times he would walk up to you. Taking a hold of your hand as he looked at you. Moving to kiss your hands at the time, if not that then, Joel would just hold them in his much bigger palms. At the time, Ellie thought that by doing that, Joel was just trying to warm them up during the cold evenings, but now it had a way bigger meaning behind it. That was Joel's silent attempt to make sure that you stayed with him. That you wouldn't drift away. Like a true guard at night, standing his watch. Always ready to fight for you.

"And I felt horrible that I left him all alone", the sound of your voice made the two of them turn toward the door. "I kept on telling myself to get up. You need to do that for Joel, but…", you shrugged your shoulders. Joel reached his arm towards you, and you instantly walked close to him. Settling down on his lap. His arm snaked around your middle as Joel pressed a loving kiss to the top of your head. "I never blamed you for it," Joel whispered, looking straight into your eyes. "I know because you're an angel." You cupped his face gently. Leaning in to press your forehead to his. Brushing your fingers under Joel's eyes as you wiped away the last tears.

This man was everything. If you'd fallen for him and his sense of humor back then. The fact that there was never a dull moment with him that even the most serious moments could be turned into fits of laughter. If you had fallen for how attentive and caring he was toward your kids. The way he always put them first. The way he sat in the bathroom for hours learning how to braid Sarah's hair or how he played astronauts with Momo even after the longest shift. Putting him over his shoulder or back as he ran around the living room making all sorts of noises. Then Joel turned into a rock—a whole mountain that shielded you from the restless sea that threatened to drown you. Never moving. Never scared.

"I don't want you to feel like we've been using you as some sort of… as our kids' replacement. The love I feel towards you…" you started, but Ellie quickly shook her head. "How could I? No, Y/N never," she said quickly, and you reached for her hands. "You are a special girl, Ellie, so special," you said as you brushed your fingers over her cheek, and she leaned into your touch. Trying to savor it for as long as possible. "You both are like my parents and I've never felt that..", Ellie's bottom lip trembled. Joel reached out to her as well.

"And you are our girl," Joel said, his voice shaky, but he knew he had to say it. Had to let her know that his coldness toward her at the start was just his defensive response. His fear of the unknown. The fear of it all ending the same. But Joel knew that once his nightmare shifted and he started to see Ellie dying in Sarah's or Momo's place, he knew that she had sneaked past his guard. Ellie had managed to find that well-hidden spark inside Joel's heart. And there was nothing that could have been done about it.

Ellie wrapped her hands over both of your shoulders, pulling you both into a hug. A light cry slipped from her lips. Your hand instantly moved to rub her back in hopes of soothing her. Joel pressed a tender kiss to the crown of her head before turning his eyes to you. Your teary eyes were already looking back at him. You mouthed a silent "I love you" to him, which Joel returned straight away, followed by a light smile.

Once Ellie pulled away, you both looked at her with fondness. "Thank you for sharing this with me. You didn't have to, but you did," she said, as you rubbed away her tears the same way you had done before. "You are a part of the family now. Family doesn't have secrets," you said softly. "Plus, I think me and Y/N both needed closure", you nodded your head at Joel's words. You had told him multiple times that it was eating you alive that you were keeping this way from Ellie. You could tell that she sensed that something was wrong; she just never asked.

"Do you want to see a picture of them?", you asked, turning to Joel, who you knew had kept a picture of you four. The one he always carried around with him. Tommy had taken it on Momo's second birthday. The summer was in full swing, so you decided to have a barbecue outside. You stood there in a flowy dress, laughing at Sarah, who had a surprised look on her face since Joel had rubbed barbecue sauce on her cheek. Joel's head was thrown back as he laughed. Even Momo, who was nestled in your arms, had somewhat of a grin on his face.

"Sarah would have loved you", Ellie lifted her eyes away from the picture to the sound of Joel's voice. You hummed in agreement, "Momo would have been all over you as well you two cheeky bunch would have gotten into so much trouble". Ellie glanced back down. The image that she saw frozen in front of her seemed almost impossible compared to the two people she had met. But now she knew more than better to not judge the book by its cover. The deepest and most painful scars were always hidden the deepest.

"I would have loved to know them", Ellie said dragging her finger over their faces, "Momo, looks like a minute version of Joel". You let out a little laugh, "That's what I said. Imagine how mad I was after carrying him for nine months and he popped out looking nothing like me". Joel cracked a smile, looking down at the photograph himself. The one he barely pulled out these days.

"If we stay in Jackson, we must build them memorial stones and plant flowers all around them," Ellie said firmly. The tears picked up at the corners of your eyes as you gazed at her. "That's a really beautiful idea, Ellie bear," you said, running your fingers over her hair. Joel nudged Ellie's side playfully, making her let out a chuckle before he brought you closer to him once again. Time healed scars, even if slowly. But you two were here and now you had Ellie by your side. Your hearts, even if covered in scars, still beat for one another. Together, you were capable of anything and everything. Life has already proven that.

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 8

Twinkles

Series Masterlist

Previous part: Little Birdie Next Part: True Romantic

Word Count: 7,072

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI.

A week and a handful of days was exactly how long you actually made it into your two weeks before you found yourself with a mind just as hectic and busy as it was the day you left the compound. But the only difference now was that it was you and your thoughts back on an empty road on the way back to the compound.

You figured that processing your feelings and settling back in at home might've been good for you. Maybe being back in the environment that caused all of the physical and mental injury would help move the healing along faster, help you make amends and tie up all the loose ends you needed in order to really solidify your place in such an environment.

Plus, you still wanted to talk to Bucky again. You needed to bury the fight for good. And Steve... lord knows you still have a lot to figure out between the two of you... and Bucky. Okay... there was still a lot of figure out with the three of you.

The road was so dark and almost lonely with the lack of traffic happening at 10pm on a weeknight. For some reason, not even your playlist or the almost freezing temperatures outside competing with your car heater was distracting your brain from the only thought it could conjure up, which was to call Steve.

You didn't know why you wanted to talk to him, or even what to say, but your fingers even pulled up his contact on your car's display just in case.

It was already late, and you had no reason, but you couldn't stop thinking about him. Wondering if he was already asleep, you took the leap of faith and pressed call.

Your intuition was right, because before you could even press call, Steve's name popped up on the little screen and your car informed you that he had called you first.

"Hello?" You spoke, eyes glued to the open road.

"Hey, Bug." He spoke back, voice deep and raspy as if he was half asleep. "What are you up to?"

"Funny you should ask, I was literally just about to call you but you beat me to it." You told him with a smile, well aware he couldn't see it.

"Oh really? What's wrong?"

"Nothing! I don't know why I wanted to call you, but my brain was telling me I should." You explained. However, you could recognize now with the sound of his voice that there was something going on with him. He sounded sad, or maybe frustrated and definitely tired. "What's going on with you?"

"Funny you should ask" A very fake and lazy chuckle sounded. "I'm miserable at the moment, can you tell?"

"Just a little." You lied. He definitely sounded miserable. "What happened, Stevie?"

"The stupid heater in my apartment isn't working and it can't get fixed until tomorrow." Steve started. "I'm exhausted, but no matter what I do I can't fall asleep because I'm so fucking cold. I was going to ask Bucky if I could sleep at his place tonight but I saw Nat's location was in his apartment so that flew out the window."

It took a slight moment to figure out why Steve was complaining about the temperature when he was usually the kind've guy that could put up with anything. But when it clicked, you felt a billion times worse for him.

You remembered a few times Steve has confessed to you that he can't stand the feeling of being cold.. 66 years of being stuck in ice will do that to a person.

Though he had no memory of all of those long years, his brain seemed to hold onto what he felt during the first few moments of the plane he crashed straight into the arctic.

So every time Steve found himself alone in the cold, he swore he could feel his skin sting. His heart would race no matter how hard he tried to get it to slow down, it felt like the floor would start dropping below his feet, and the entire time he was waiting for pain that never came. The longer he stayed cold, the worse it would spiral.

Your eyes darted to the time displayed in your car, 10:54 pm. Then they read the outside temperature, 36 degrees Fahrenheit.

"That sounds awful, I'm sorry" You pouted. "You have my key, why don't you sleep at my place?"

There was a deep sigh through the phone line, and a few moments of silence as he contemplated what to say next. "It's okay. I'm actually not even too sure why I called you, I think I'm just trying to calm myself down."

Your pout deepened and your heart cracked. "Steve"

"Hmm?"

"Go sleep in my bed." You commanded.

"It's fine, Bug. I just wanted to talk to you. Why does it sound so... rumbly?" Steve tried to change the subject.

"Oh, because I'm driving right now." You explained. "Im using my phone's Bluetooth to turn on the heater in my apartment for you so it'll be nice and toasty when you get there."

"It's so late, why are you driving?" He asked.

"I'm actually on my way home right now." You explained keeping it vague, he didn't know which home you were referring to. "Is 73 degrees okay?"

"Bug, I can't." Steve denied, sounding remorseful.

"You can't what?"

"I can't just accept your kindness like this."

If you didn't know him so well, you almost wouldn't be able to know just from the sound of his voice that he was on the verge of tears. But i in this case, you probably knew him better that he would've liked. "Like what, Steve?"

"I still feel so bad that I hurt you." Steve explained, practically in a whisper. He was thankful you couldn't see the way his hands were shaking or the way he had to breathe through his mouth because of how fast his heart was pounding from the sheer amount of anxiety coursing through his nerves. "I can't just go seek comfort from you and invade your space after what I did. That's not fair."

Now, you felt like crying too. "We already talked about this. We can't keep holding onto what happened or it's going to make us both miserable."

"So you're still feeling better about it?"

"Since the last time I saw you? Absolutely." You reassured him. "What can I do to help you feel better right now?"

"This is more than enough." The statement was filled with the most confidence you've heard since answering the phone.

You knew he was seeking any sort of validation that you didn't absolutely hate him, so you tried your hardest to butter him up with some truthful vulnerability "I miss you"

"I miss you too." He agreed, letting his eyes fall shut. "Any chance I can see you again soon?"

You smiled, but he didn't have to know that. He also didn't have to know that you had a 35 minute ETA back to the compound. "I'm busy tomorrow, but how about Saturday?"

"Saturday works great." He declared, still miserable but he tried to be enthusiastic. "You're coming back to the compound on Saturday?"

"Yep, I'll be there." Again, not a lie. "What do you want to do on Saturday?"

"Sleep? Take a nap? Watch a movie? Take a nap while we watch movies?"

You laughed at his suggestions. "That sounds great. And what are you going to do right now?"

"Hopefully sleep and take a nap and sleep some more."

"Think some warm thoughts?"

"I wish I was a marshmallow on a stick." He mumbled.

"Love you lots, go sleep in my room."

"Love you more, no." Steve denied again. "I'll let you go now. I think I'm starting to feel a bit better."

"You think or you know?"

"I'll only know once I hang up."

"Well if you don't know, just call me back, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you for talking to me, drive safe." He didn't want to hang up, but he also didn't want you to think he was being clingy or dramatic so he decided to cut the conversation short. "Will you let me know when you get home?"

"Sure thing. Think about the marshmallow!"

A very small smile tugged at his lips. "Goodnight, Buggy."

"Sweet dreams, Stevie."

The phone-line ended and your music started again. Much like before, the road was still lonely, and you were still unable to get your mind off of Steve. Maybe even more so now than before the phone call. But there was nothing much you could even do for him from the middle of the highway, so you sang along to your playlist that was playing a bit too loud, and tried your best to ignore the uncomfortable sting settling in your lungs as anxiety took over the closer you got to the compound.

That anxiety only worsened as you pulled up, and parked in your reserved spot. You flung your bags over your shoulder and walked through the lobby to get to the elevator and up to your apartment.

The luxurious smell of the building, the sounds of the automated doors and buttons, mostly everyone walking around in their designated uniform, and all the familiar faces reminded you of the really dark place your mind forced you to live in for the long weeks before you left.

Your apartment was no help either. Dragging your feet through the living-room and into the bedroom made memories of all the hours you were stuck in bed flood back so fast you felt physically nauseated. The tossed around blankets over your couch and your bed left unmade was nothing but evidence of how fast you left the compound in the first place. As if you set out on an emergency mission to save yourself.

Luckily you had a perfect excuse to not linger for too long on your own, so you dropped your bags in the corner of your room before making your bed and let your legs carry you over to Steve's place.

After making your way all the way there, and taking a big deep breath to brace yourself for whatever was about to happen, you slid his key that you never gave back to him into his door.

Then, a voice appeared practically out of thin air. "Oh wow, never thought I'd live to see the day Rogers has a girl sneaking in" Tony commented as he walked right past you in the hallway.

"This is definitely not what it looks like." You denied Tony's remark with a shake of your head, but he didn't stick around long enough to even explain yourself.

You stuck to rolling your eyes as you entered his place. It was odd being in his apartment after so much time away, but it was exactly how it always was. Immaculately clean, decorated well, and it smelled subtly like his cologne that you loved so much.

Though you wanted to stop for a moment to reflect, it did little to keep you from walking straight to his bedroom door and opening it slowly as to not scare him.

The first thing you noticed was that his TV was on and playing a movie you didn't recognize, but it provided enough light for you to see the lump hiding beneath the covers. How you still felt the overwhelming sense of comfort you always did when you'd sneak into his bed during the sad and lonely nights. Then, you realized how cold it actually was in his apartment. The longer you were there, the more the chill in the air seeped through your clothes and raised bumps on your skin.

You couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not, but you walked towards him slowly regardless. Then, the blankets tugged around him tighter. The smile on your face spread when you realized he was awake and hiding from what he assumed was Bucky.

"Not in the mood, Punk." Steve mumbled.

A giggle escaped you as you sat on his bed. "Rude"

You watched as his head poked out just for a moment. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he let out a little sound of complaint, and pulled the blanket back over his head.

"Hey! Where did you go?" You questioned, smile stretching wider.

He mumbled out a statement you could barely understand, but you did catch the end. "....... liar."

"What did you call me?!" You questioned, faking offense.

There was no response other than a little laugh so quiet you almost missed it, so your hands weren't shy to grab onto the lump of muscles and anxiety covered in a pile of blankets and shake him around playfully. "What did you call me?!?!" You asked again with a giggle.

This time, he poked out just the top of his head and his stupidly beautiful big blue eyes. It was painfully obvious that he was hiding a smile despite his misery. "I called you a big fat liar" he sassed.

"I told you I was on my way home." You defended yourself with a performative gasp and your right palm straight over your heart. "I never lied!"

"I thought you were Bucky!" Steve continued, still hiding most of his face. He was thankful that the hoodie pulled over his head helped hide his messy hair.

"It's pronounced Buggy" you smiled.

"What are you doing back here so soon?"

"Stop asking so many questions, I'm here to rescue you." You enthused, but it earned another groan and the blanket back over his head. "Wow, you're really going to make my first mission back a difficult one huh?"

More gibberish grumbles sounded from underneath the blanket pile. Even if you asked him to clarify the meaning of his babbles, you knew he was still going to be unwilling to cooperate.

"Fine, you leave me no choice." You huffed while standing up from your spot and kicking your shoes off. Then, you grabbed hold of what you assumed was his shoulder and his waist, then pushed with all your might to roll him over from his back and onto his side.

Laughter he was trying his hardest to contain slipped past his lips when he heard your sounds of struggle. "I'm offended that you're huffing and puffing up there."

"Oh, so now you're speaking crystal clear?" You noted, taking in a deep breath after moving the dead weight of a super soldier. "Sorry for the huffing and puffing, didn't realize you were made of pure muscle and uranium. If I did, I would've warmed up a bit first."

"Uranium?" Steve questioned still sounding miserable, still hiding from you.

"The heaviest element on earth" you clarified, lifting the corner of the blanket pile on top of him before sliding into his bed. "It's a compliment on your big strong muscles, Stevie, don't get it twisted."

"What are you doing?!" His head lifted in confusion as you got into bed with him, under the safety of his blanket fort, and started curling yourself behind him.

The front of your body was against his back, your legs tucked behind his, and your arm wrapped around his waist to hold him nice and snug before you put your chin to his shoulder and propping yourself up a bit so you could see his face. "Providing you with the love and warmth you need to feel better, isn't that obvious?"

His big blue eyes opened to look up at you for just a moment, and when they met your gaze his stomach filled with butterflies and an undeniable blush warmed his cheeks. Then, his pretty eyes gleamed with that familiar twinkle that made the corners of your lips tug upwards.

You were so much braver than he was, because before the big blow out between the two of you, a friendly snuggle here and there was no big deal. But now that you knew the extent of his admiration for you, he didn't know if he would ever find the courage to touch you again. It was too high stakes, and way too nerve wracking for him to risk. Because if he tried his hand at you and fumbled his chance, he'd never forgive himself.

You found that hesitance to be obvious, but sweet and endearing. Much like you found his reactions to your actions to be even sweeter and more endearing.

The 6'4, 250 pound weapon of a man was nothing but putty in your hands now, and that did a number to your capacity to fight off your own repressed feelings for him. If he was putty, then you were melting like a snowman on a summer vacation. Neither of you stood a chance against each other, both of you were letting your walls fall not only down, but also apart.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut so hard that his whole face scrunched up, and let his head hit the pillow once more. "Why am I the little spoon?"

"Because I know you well, Stevenson" Your smile widened.

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You have the most obvious little spoon energy of any person I've ever met before." You explained. "That's not a bad thing, it's just a fact. Are you not loving this?"

"That's a trick question" He huffed in complaint before nestling closer to you. "You're so warm."

"See? That'll make you feel better soon. And now you don't have to be alone, so we can take some nice deep breaths until our anxiety floats away... but of course if you hate this too much I can just leave..."

There it was. The biggest relief to Steve's mind and heart... your sassy and sarcastic spunk was starting to shine back through you. Though he still felt like pieces of yourself were lost, the smallest pieces of you were a victory to him. If he was just a little less anxious, he'd find it within himself to bounce off of your sarcasm, but right now he just needed his mind to be less busy.

Steve shook his head shyly. "I really don't hate this."

"See? So just relax." You reminded him as you settled in and let yourself fully lay down behind him. "You're so tense."

"I can never get myself to relax when I'm cold." He explained to you. "It feels like I'm waiting for something that never happens."

You could read between the lines of his words. He was waiting for a plane crash, a physical feeling of pain that he associated with being so cold.

"Nothing is going to hurt you, Stevie." You reminded him gently. Of course he knew that, but sometimes anxiety lies to brain if its victim. Sometimes a small reminder is all you need.

"I know." He agreed with a small nod, trying to get his hands to stop trembling.

"You know it's 42 degrees in here? I read the thermostat on my way in."

"Feels like it" Steve complained.

"My place is a toasty 73."

"That's lovely." He mumbled. "M'happy for you."

"You're so stubborn." You huffed, shoving your face between his shoulder and neck and placing your hand over his heart.

Steve gasped in fake offense. "Don't go searching for my heart rate! That's personal!"

"It's going pretty fast there, Bestie." You smiled, feeling it thunk against your hand before removing it from his chest and sliding it up to his shoulder so you could squeeze him just a little tighter.

"You're not helping, Bud" He admitted, trying his hardest to contain his feelings for you from oozing out through the very loose seams of his heart. The way you were squeezing his body against yours with such a lovely and gentle pressure was not helping it stay in place.

"It's pronounced Bug." You joked again. "It's obvious to me that you're still harboring a lot of guilt and that's half the reason for your anxiety right now, so we're going to stay like this until we talk it through and your hard head softened up enough to realize that I love you, and it makes me sad that you're not feeling great right now."

Steve audibly whimpered and shoved his face into his pillow, hiding away once again. "I just feel bad."

"We've already been over this. All is well."For a few moments, you had a new found sense of guilt. It felt like you had gone way too far in punishing him when it felt as though he was already punishing himself far more than he deserved. "Misunderstandings happen, arguments happen, fights happen, but it's just how the world works and it's a testament to how much we really care about each other. If we didn't care to have each other in our lives then there would be nothing to fight for, right?"

Still in hiding, Steve gently nodded his head.

"I've known you for how long?" You asked.

"Nine months" his muffled voice responded from somewhere between his face and the pillow.

You smiled. "How many days a week have I seen you in those 9 months?"

"Almost everyday, except for the last few weeks" He pouted.

"That's 279 days we've spent together and after every single one of those days, good or bad, I've still chosen to see you, or talk to you, or even think about you. And all of that, all of this has led us to right here, right now. You know why?"

Another grumpy grumble only fueled your fire to complete your mission of soothing the anxious soldier. "Hmm?"

"Because love is unconditional." You stated confidently. "And I can't let anyone I love be somewhere that's making them miserable. That's why you let me go, right? You gave me a chance to leave the compound."

Again, Steve nodded.

"And that's why I can't let you stay here tonight." Your hand squeezed the top of his shoulder. "...are you convinced yet?"

Suddenly, his head popped up "I like hearing you talk so I'm just listening while talking to work up the courage to get out of bed."

Your giggle sounded like heaven so close to his ear as you propped yourself up behind him again. "I had two more tricks up my sleeve, do you want to hear them or are we all good here?"

"I want to hear them"

"Okay the first one was that I was going to use our rooms as metaphors. We could stay here together and be uncomfortable and cold, or we could be cozy together in my warm fuzzy bed but we have to choose to move on."

"So deep and philosophical" Steve grinned. "The second one?"

"Oh the second one is cheap bait. I was going to tell you I have a family size bag of m&m's on my kitchen counter."

"Is that the truth?" He raised an eyebrow, looking back at your face to search for a bluff.

"The whole truth, and nothing but the truth." You confirmed.

"What kind of m&m's?"

One word to seal the deal, you knew it would get him up out of bed and straight into your apartment. "Mini"

"Get off of me, I have important business to attend." Steve joked with a very gentle sense of urgency, shrugging you off of his back.

You let him go and felt a sense of pride when the big beefy soldier got out of bed to follow you.

"Emergency mission?"

"Very important" he agreed, trying not to wince as the cold hair hit his skin again.

"Then put some pep in your step Rogers, we've got a mission to accomplish!"

He giggled and followed you through his room, into the living room and nearly out the front door before he passed a mirror and stole a glance at himself.

Strands of wild blonde hair were sticking out of the front of his hoodie pulled over his head. Socks on his feet, sweatpants, and the very obvious sleep deprivation causing redness under his eyes was not his best look.

"Oh wow, hope the hallways are clear because I'm going to scare people if they see me like this" Steve laughed at his reflection, getting his slippers on his feet.

"Maybe people will start treating you like you're human if they see you in something a little less business casual." You smiled, feeling happy that you got to see the usually put together soldier in such a state.

"I'm accepting it for what it is, because there's no amount of brushing or product in this world that would be able to fix my hair right now." He shrugged, following you out of the door and into the hallways.

"It's cute, you can pull it off."

No longer being able to hide his blushing cheeks from you, he bowed his head to the floor and trailed behind you all the way up to your apartment. His eyes stayed glued to the floor even as you unlocked your front door, he took that moment to fill his lungs with a big breath of air to try and snap out of the anxious daze he was in.

But as the door swung open, a big wave of warm air washed over his body and you took a step aside to let him in first. Only when he stepped into your warm living room did he feel like he could actually breathe again.

The floor felt a little more stable, his legs a little more steady, and the world seemed to have stopped its crashing and burning.

As you locked the front door and kicked off the shoes, Steve looked at your couch and suddenly felt a whole new wave of anxiety over the memories replaying in his head of that very night everything changed all because he sat in that one spot on your couch.

Then he thought of the last time he was here, the anxiety and gut wrenching guilt he felt as he trudged up to your apartment after nobody had seen you for a while, the way his heart dropped into his stomach when he found you asleep in your be-

"Stop thinking." Both your hands reached up and squeezed his shoulders from behind him. "Go to bed."

Immediately snapping out of it, he chuckled at the way you knew him so well before dragging his feet into your room, kicking off his slippers, and burrowing himself underneath your blankets this time.

You walked in a few moments later, bag of m&ms in hand, and a content grin on your face and warmth in your heart at the sight of Steve in your bed. He was already lying on his stomach with his arm above his head, and his head tucked into the ditch of his elbow.

After placing the bag of chocolate on the nightstand, you pulled the blankets over his back and sat next to him.

"Nice and warm?" You asked him, left hand rubbing small circles over his shoulder blade.

"like a marshmallow on a stick" his sleepy voice sounded.

"Cozy?"

"Mhm" Steve nodded.

"Like a bug in a rug!" You enthused, earning his laughter. "I'm happy you're here, Stevie."

"I'm happy that you're here." He turned his head to look at you, big blue eyes twinkling just for you. "A big part of me thought you'd never come back."

You let out a sigh, not being able to come up with much of a good reason why you came back. "Just felt like I had some unfinished business I had to take care of."

"Does that mean you know what you're going to do?"

You knew he was once again asking about your choice in quitting, staying an agent, or becoming an avenger, but you still couldn't quite get the insecure voice in the back of your heart and forefront of you brain to quiet down yet.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to tell anyone until after it's official so nobody tries to get me to change my mind." Your lips pressed together, contemplation turning your smile into a contemplative grin. "So right now I'm going to take a shower as fast as I can so I can get back to the blondie in my bed, then after that I'll probably lay awake all night wondering if I even know how to make good choices for myself."

"Wow, not even me?" Steve faked offense.

"I didn't even tell my Mom" You reassured him. "But I have a meeting with Fury in the morning to make my decision official so, you'll know tomorrow."

"So we're both going to be lying awake all night?"

You chuckled. "No, because I can tell you're exhausted and I already know you're going to fall asleep the second the second I stop engaging you in conversation."

"You're so mean." He smiled, eyes still wide and twinkling.

"Tell me about it." you agreed. "Are you going to be okay if I go shower really quick?"

"Mhm, I'm a big boy." He nodded.

"Okay big boy, you go to sleep, and I'll be right back" You squeezed his shoulder before getting up.

Steve was quick to let the exhaustion close his heavy eye lids, and he focused on emptying his head of it's constant racing thoughts. He listened to the sound of your drawers opening and closing, then the bathroom door closing behind you.

The sound of the shower turning on and the flowing water helped provide some comfort as he realized he finally felt safe and warm again. A lazy smile unintentionally spread across his face when your music followed, but it was playing so low he could barely hear it. One thing he knew about you was that you had to listen to music through completing any task, and you loved to share that music with everyone around you. But right now, it was quiet in consideration of him, and that was far more touching to him that you'd probably ever assume.

But that was just the effect you had on Steve, every little thing you did was so endearing to him and he just couldn't help himself for falling into you as if you were a trap perfectly designed to capture him.

Thoughts of you consumed his mind now, so much so that he slowly started slipping into a dreamy state, that was until not even two minutes after you had left him the bathroom door had opened again and he heard you walking around your room once more.

Assuming you had forgotten something, he paid it no mind. That was until your footsteps approached him, and he heard your voice whispering.

"Stevie?" Your voice was calm and gentle, and the shower was still running. "You still awake?"

"Yeah" his eyes opened again, and eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

"Sorry, I just- I was thinking about our phone call earlier" You started before sitting down next to him again. "It's just not fair so I didn't want you to fall asleep before I had a chance to tell you."

"Not fair?" He questioned sleepily, forcefully blinking to keep his heavy eyes open.

Your nervous tight lipped grin told Steve everything he needed to know. Maybe it was just the lighting in your bedroom, or perhaps anxiety and exhaustion making him hallucinate but he swore he caught a slight blush on your cheeks.

"I can't help but to feel like maybe some of the anxiety or negative feelings you still have are because I haven't given you enough reassurance, and I'm sorry." You tried to read his expression as well as he was reading yours, but you picked up nothing but exhaustion and relief. "You know how much I love you, right?"

A small grin took over his lips and he let his eyes close in contentment, feeling a little too tired and comfortable to keep them awake anymore. But he nodded nonetheless.

"You know that your friendship and support has been a pivotal part of my career and personal growth, and I'll be loyal to you no matter what we go through?"

"I do now" he nodded again.

"Remember how I said we can explore the cute little twinkles in your eyes when things settle?" You started. "You know that's not just because I'm comfortable with it, but because I like you too, right?"

His eyes snapped open and eyebrows furrowed as if you had just set off a bomb in the bed he was sleeping in. "No, that was not made clear."

Steve swore his cheeks got so hot he could feel his heartbeat pulsing through the skin.

"Okay, well now it was!" You said with a calm and enthusiastic attitude that he could never even dream of achieving if a confession like that just rolled off his own tongue. "Glad we had this talk, I'm going to go take a shower now."

He was in pure disbelief as you stood up and walked away. "No insight on that? No further explanation?"

"You're really tired, don't want to bore you with the details." You shrugged with a playful giggle.

"I'm never going to sleep again" He said louder as you got further away.

"I don't believe you! Besides, the shower is running and I don't want to waste water." You pointed out. "I'll be right back!"

The bathroom door closed behind you, locked, then your faced scrunched up as your silently screamed and danced like a teenage girl. That locked door also gave Steve the space he needed to whimper into his elbow and mourn the person be was before his knowledge of your feelings.

You had simultaneously killed the man he once was, and birthed a new version of him. One whose thoughts were far more insufferable than the last, with approximately 4 billion questions to interrogate you with, and also less and more anxiety at the same time.

As promised, you showered quickly and changed into a loose t shirt and tight shorts you worked out in occasionally before making your way back to your bedroom. Tossing your dirty clothes into the hamper, you quietly turned off your bedside lamp leaving the room dark and slowly got into bed where Steve was, now laying on his side facing the middle of the bed.

As you got under the blankets and settled in next to him, you noticed he had taken his hoodie off leaving him in a shirt with his pretty blonde hair to be crazy on its own accord. Feeling happy that he was finally warm and content, you let your head hit the pillow, your body facing his as well.

You couldn't tell if he was asleep or not, but you didn't pay it much mind. Happy to be back with your best friend and in your own bed, time slipped away from you as fast as your conscious.

Unsure how much time had passed, an undeniable cheeky smile spread across your lips when Steve's heavy forearms reached out to you and planted itself on your waist. His touch was tentative and very experimental, your smile widened as you could feel how hesitant he was to let the full weight of his arm rest on you.

To applaud his bravery and encourage good behavior, you placed your hand on his forearm to welcome him to relax and maybe even come a little closer if he felt like it. But he immediately ripped his arm away.

"...sorry" he mumbled quietly.

You reached over to grab his wrist and pull his arm back to right where it was before deciding that you needed to be brave for him. So you moved your whole body closer to his, pulled his arm around you, and you put your arm around him. "I was trying to pull you in, not push you away."

"Sorry again" he chuckled lazily.

You could feel his body relaxed as you tangled your legs with his, and snuggled your face into his chest. How he always managed to smell like a slice of heaven was beside you, but you were happy to reap the benefits.

Tightening his arms around you and nestling his chin into your hair, he felt like there was nothing that could ever get him to give this up. There was no emergency in the world that could pull his mind away from the happiness and comfort he felt in your embrace. Really, nothing was going to hurt him.

"Comfy?" He asked you, voice deep and raspy.

"Snug as a bug in a rug." You confirmed, making him giggle.

"Sweet dreams, Buggy."

"Goodnight, Twinkles." You said, knowing he would hate the nickname you had thought of.

"How dare you" He complained regardless of being able to hear the smile in his voice.

"Sorry, Twinkles. It's stuck now. Nothing I can do to change it."

"If you insist"

You internally celebrated the win. "Love you."

"Love you more."

As the night fell and the morning rose, Steve didn't remember a single thing. He slept like the dead, and woke up in pure bliss the next morning.

He wasn't sure he had ever been so comfortable in his entire life. The two of you weren't really cuddling anymore, but your sweet little face was still facing him, and your arms still held onto each other while your bodies drifted and sprawled out to their own contentment.

Gentle morning light, your calm and gentle breaths, he could've stayed like this forever.

He looked around and noticed you were sleeping on your tummy now, one of your legs were hiked up so your knee was against his thigh, and you had kicked most of the blankets off of yourself in your sleep. Though the heater was on and he wasn't concerned about you being cold, something caught his eye and piqued his interest.

The back of your shirt hiked up and exposed some of the skin on your back. Steve had seen you in a sports bra countless times before, even naked once, but the difference was now your back was covered in a big scar.

He frowned for you, knowing that there was a permanent reminder on your body of the asshole who went out of his way to make your life a living hell. It also left him wondering what his body would look like if it allowed him to hold onto every scar and mark obtained from battle.

Then, your stupid alarm went off and had to ruin everything. Steve tried his hardest not to curse the universe for taking this moment of peace away from him as he grabbed your phone to turn your alarm off.

He gently shook your arm until your pretty eyes blinked open.

"Time to wake up, buggy." He sweetly smiled at you.

You groaned before shoving your face into a pillow. Now it was your turn to be the dramatic one. "Says who? You can't make me"

"Says Fury, your meeting is in an hour." Steve reminded you.

"You make some good points" Your giggle sounded, poking your head back out. "Good morning, Steven."

"Steven?" Steve questioned with an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Yeah, short for Stevenson!" You said matter of factly, prying yourself out of bed and swinging your legs over the side of the mattress.

"Oh right, my full name." Steve agreed with you with all the seriousness in the world. He would stop the world from turning just to entertain your humor.

"Mhm, it's on your birth certificate." You nodded. Still sitting on the edge of your bed, you started thinking about the day ahead of you. "Hey Twinkles, I have a question."

A smile stretched across your face as you could hear his sigh at the nickname that definitely wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. "How can I help you, bug." Steve's tone unenthusiastic.

"I just realized I never got my new suit back, so what am I supposed to wear to a meeting with Fury?" You looked back at him fast enough to catch a sneaky smile on his face.

"Oh there is a reason you don't have that back yet, but you don't need it just to see Fury. Wear something nice-ish, you'll be fine."

"And what would that reason be?" You questioned, finally standing up and stretching out your back.

"I guess you'll find out today." Steve shrugged, still laying down, still feeling lazy.

"You boys are exhausting to be around" You joked while disappearing into your bathroom.

Somewhere between you humming along to your music, and your footsteps around your apartment, Steve drifted off again. He wasn't necessarily asleep, but he wasn't really awake either.

Time and space didn't exist in this subliminal place, he was just happy to be around you again. It was the first time since your initial argument together that he had felt truly peaceful, and he intended on soaking in it.

...that was until you threw a pillow at him.

"Hey!" Steve complained, opening his eyes to glare at you. His heart nearly dropped to the floor when he saw how pretty you looked. You had perfectly styled your hair and put on a full face of makeup, while also donning a business casual outfit that suited you perfectly. Out of habit, Steve tried his hardest to hide the fact that he was having heart palpitations. "You are so mean."

"That was payback!" You explained. "I'm leaving now."

"Are you nervous?" Steve asked, trying to get a read on your emotions.

You watched as he finally got up out of bed. "Not really. Should I be?"

"Not really." Steve shook his head with a polite smile. "Should I be?"

You shrugged your shoulders as he approached you. "Not really."

"Good. Then all is well." He opened his arms for you, and you accepted.

Ugh. You even smelled just as good as you looked.

"As much as I'd like to stay here and hug you forever, I don't think Fury would appreciate it if I was late." You smiled against his chest.

"I think he would be mad at me too" Steve agreed with a chuckle and let you go from his arms. "Any chance you'll tell me your career choice right now before the meeting?"

"No, but I'll tell you when I get out" You giggled.

"Far enough" Steve didn't want to push you. "Good luck, Buggie."

"See you later, Twinkles."

Next Part: True Romantic

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[storywriter007]

leo valdex x someone with anxiety who wants to forget about their worries but eventually they open up to leo and it goes from dumbasses in love to hurt/comfort and fluff? you're so awesome thank yooouuuu

Stressed Out - Leo Valdez x Fem!Reader

author's note: thank you for your request, i hope you like it!! sorry for the wait <3

warnings: anxiety

genre: fluff

word count: 721

-> heroes of olympus masterlist

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send me requests here! (these are my guidelines)

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y/n laid in her bed staring up at her ceiling.

she had to do swim lessons with the campers today. was there a counselor's meeting tonight? yes, there was, it was a thursday night. she had to read two books and three articles for summer reading. she also had to do a fourteen-page packet. was there an assignment for science? there probably was. and she had to go to the doctor's, and get herself checked out. fill out the stupid forms. oh my god, so many forms.

"y/n!" her sister, emma, called. "are you even listening?"

"yeah, i am." she responded, snapping out of her trance.

"really? what did i say?" emma interrogated.

"i'm sorry, em." she smiled. "i'm just tired."

"are you sure? y'know you can talk to me." her sister added, with a light smile.

"yeah, yeah, i'm fine." she smiled back. "thank you."

she wasn't fine. she wished she could just tell someone about everything that was bugging her but she couldn't. she was known as the carefree, light-hearted, don't-stress, get-up-when-you-fall, optimist of camp. the kids loved her for it, the counselors admired her for it.

and as much as she loved everyone at camp, she knew they talked. she knew once you told one person something, it ended up everywhere.

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did swim lessons go alright? yeah, the kids had fun. but percy really took more charge than y/n did. shame on her, she should've contributed more. but she was with the literal shark boy, what was she going to do?

"y/n." her boyfriend bothered. "are you okay?"

"yeah, i'm fine." she smiled.

"you've been staring at the same screw for five minutes."

"it's a really nice screw." she chuckled, picking it up so he could see it.

leo put his wrench down and sighed, concern filling his eyes.

"i know something's wrong. what's up? y'know you can tell me." he said, putting his warm hand on hers.

"i'm good." she reaffirmed. "it's almost curfew, i should probably go." she added, getting up.

he grabbed her arm, tugging her down. he pulled her chair closer to his.

"what's wrong?" he asked.

"i can't tell you." she said quietly.

"why not?" he whispered.

"because when you tell one person, they tell everyone."

"y'know i would never do that to you."

"i know, but, it's just like you tell someone you trust, and they tell someone they trust, and so forth and then everyone knows." she sighed. "i know you wouldn't."

"then tell me." he urged.

"i've just been so stressed out lately." she admitted, feeling a weight lift off of her shoulders. "i have so much work as a counselor. and, summer's ending soon and school is going to kill me. i have so much reading and paperwork to do for school. and i have a job, and i don't want my family and friends to feel like i'm neglecting them, and i thought it'd be a good idea to pick up a sport- i just don't know how i'm going to do it all."

"i know, it feels like you're being pulled in ten different directions." he sympathized.

"it does. and i'm sorry for dumping all of this on you-"

"don't apologize." he said, quickly cutting her off. "you're my girlfriend, if something's bothering you, it's bothering me."

he pulled her into a hug and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"i don't know how i'm going to do it."

"why don't we start figuring it out then? how about i help you out with your summer homework?" he asked.

"no, you don't have to do that." she chuckled, leaning back.

he reached into her tote bag, pulling out her mathematics packet.

"we can start with this. we'll do it together." he smiled.

"leo, you really don't have to."

"but i want to." he said, picking up a pencil. "let's start with number one, what's the value of x?"

within two hours, they had finished the packet. y/n gave leo a kiss, before putting her head on his shoulder.

"thank you." she smiled.

"you don't have to thank me." he said, kissing the top of her head. "and you don't have to hide how you're feeling from me."

"i won't." she promised.

[natti-ice]

Sirius Black Blurb.

Pairing: Sirius Black x slytherin!gn!reader

Warnings: none.

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated<3

You couldn't believe this happened, of all people to get stuck with it had to be him. You received detention for accidentally falling asleep in Binns class, why were there so many Goblin rebellions? Now, you were standing in the middle of the woods in mid-November with Sirius Black.

For some reason, Sirius had taken a strong liking to you. You couldn't understand why though, it should be textbook rivalry since you're a Slytherin and he's a Gryffindor but he seems to believe you belong together.

Since term began he has been asking you to go to Hogsmeade, you were taken aback at first because you honestly didn't think he knew who you were. The first time you said no out of pure shock, but you also were afraid it was some sick joke.

Sirius is probably the most attractive boy in the school, you can't walk two feet without hearing some girls talking about his 'beautiful hair' but he also has a reputation. Not in the "heartbreaker" sense but in the "liking to play cruel jokes" sense, you've seen some of the pranks he's pulled around school, and you would not let yourself fall victim.

It was just starting to get cold in Scotland, the air was crisp as it slapped you in the face as you walked deeper into the forest. Sirius was by your side using his wand to guide you two through the dark path. It was just your luck that this week's detention was to gather food for whatever creature Hagrid decided to bring home this year. You never understood how any of those pets were legal.

You left your jacket in your dorm because some third year accidentally spilled her drink on you during dinner and it was completely soaked, it wasn't freezing so you figured you could bare through it but as it got later the wind picked up.

You shivered as another gust of wind hit you, you felt goosebumps forming up and down your arms.

"Take my jacket" Sirius said breaking the silence

"What?" you asked, you didn't realize he was watching you "I'm fine"

"You're cold." He told you, the look in his eyes was telling you to give it up

"Am not." You internally cringed at how juvenile you sounded

"Right" Sirius chuckled, disregarding what you just said Sirius took off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders before you could refuse again.

You couldn't deny how good it felt, it was so warm and it was a little big so it felt like a giant hug.

"Now you'll be cold," you told him pulling the fabric closer to your body

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart" his voice was smooth and intoxicating

Your heart fluttered at the nickname, "Don't call me that" you said hoping he could hear nerves in your voice

"Did I do something to offend you?" Sirius asked, his tone wasn't telling but he truly cared how you felt about him, he hated that you were so closed off around him

"No" your tone softened

"Then why do you avoid me so much? I feel I must've done something to make you hate me" He laughed painfully

"I don't hate you, Sirius" by this point you two had completely stopped looking for that weird bug you couldn't remember the name of. "I'm just confused"

"About what?"

"The fact that you keep asking me out, I mean out of everyone? Me? Aren't we supposed to be sworn enemies?" You questioned

"Well, if you would've asked me that two years ago I would have said yes," he paused and read your expression before continuing "but that's all so childish now. I like you and I would really like to take you out" a boyish smile played across his lip.

You stayed silent taking in what he just said, as much as you didn't want to admit it you actually wanted to go out with him. You let out a small sigh

"Fine" you say "one date"

"Really?" the moonlight shone just right between the trees so you could see the sparkle in his eye as you finally agreed

"Yes Sirius, I'll go out with you" you fought back a smile but it inevitably won.

Before you knew it your feet had left the ground, Sirius spun you around in the air and then firmly placed you back on the ground. "You won't regret it, I promise" he said with a wide grin

You laughed at his eagerness as you tried to brush away the thought of how nice it felt to be in his arms.

[loousir]

[Werewolf] What about me?

Male Werewolf x Male Reader

Draven

Notes/Warnings: TW for reader breakup, mentions of an affair, non-aggressive confrontation, reader comfort, idk, this one is short but I'm content with it, haven't been feeling great lately lol, not very proof read

Masterlist

If you like my work, please consider reblogging!

You currently laid in bed, tears streaming down you face as you hugged your pillow. You trusted people too easily and it came back to bite you in the ass today. You had gone out for a dinner date with the guy you had been dating for a month. Everything was going great. He sat you down, treated you amazingly, like nothing you could have dreamed of. Made you think he was the one. But turns out he wasn't. While the two of you were together, a woman approached you and, albeit kindly, told you that this was actually her husband. She wasn't mad at you since she knew how he could act but you still couldn't help but feel guilty. You opted to leave so they could argue or fight about it, having felt so betrayed by who you thought could be the one.

A cab was called and you cried all the way back home, tearfully messaging your best friend about what had happened. You could see that he read the messages but didn't respond. You knew he would eventually and just figured he was busy. While you lied in bed, going over what happened and the things you two did while you were together, it almost made sense. He was being so nice to mask the fact he was doing something so horrible. You couldn't help but cry more, thinking how blind you were to the signs. While you were crying, you didn't hear the front door open or the heavy footsteps making their way towards you until you felt a pair of warm, strong arms wrap around you. At first, you were understandably panicked, whipping your head around to find out who it was only to see the soft gaze of the only man you've trusted for years.

You instantly turned around and hugged him tightly, crying into his chest as he shushed and comforted you. Even though he was thinking the whole 'I told you so' shtick, he kept quiet and let you get out your emotions. Once it seemed like you had calmed down enough, he pulled away and looked down to you with a smile. "Feel a little better?" He asked, wiping away some of the tears with his thumb. "A little..." You mumbled, hiding your face away again, the sound of his heart beat comforting you. "Let's get up and take a shower. Rise that gross memory away." He said softly, sitting up while you stayed, cuddling into the bed more as you didn't want to move. He stared down to you for a moment and rolled his eyes. "C'mon, get up, let's go." He said, pulling you up and out of the bed with ease.

You whined but held onto him as he carried you into the bathroom. "Do I need to help you get undressed or can you do that yourself?" Draven asked, setting you on the counter. He stood between your legs, making you blush and shake your head, pushing him away as you got up. "Just wait outside." You said quickly, voice still a little shaky from crying. With a small sigh, you closed the door and changed into the nude. You turned on the water and waited for a moment before getting in. It was still a bit cold for your liking but it didn't bug you, washing away the day felt nice. Draven knocked at the door and asked, "May I come in?" You mumbled out a yea before hearing the door squeak open. "Its just a change of clothes." He said before closing the door again. After a few more minutes of just sitting under the water, you stepped out and dried off, seeing that he brought a pair of comfy clothes for you to wear.

With a small smile, you slipped them on. When you got to the shirt you noticed it was big on you, making you blush when you realized it was Dravens. And it was still warm. You couldn't help but blush more knowing that he had given you the shirt off his back to wear. As soon as you stepped out if the bathroom, Draven instantly swept you off your feet, causing you to yelp and cling onto him. "I hate that you can do that..." You mumbled out, hiding your face. He chuckled and hugged you close. "You smell so much better." He mumbled, barely fluent enough for you to understand. "H-huh?" You pulled back and looked at him, blush traveling to your ears at this point.

Draven tilted his head like the big puppy he is. "What?" He asked, convincingly pretending like he didn't say anything. "You... Nevermind." You said softly, hugging him close as he carried you into the living room. Little did you know, Draven only made you shower cause you, to him, smelled gross, even if you were dressed in your best cologne. You smelled like a man he hated, someone disgusting. Which is also why he gave you his shirt, opting to rock the tank underneath. "Draven you didn't have to do all this..." You said, seeing all the snacks and blankets laid out for the two of you.

"No. But, I wanted to." He said, setting you on the couch. Draven didn't let you move as he wrapped you in blankets, giving you drinks and snacks to choose from. Even though you thought he would snuggle up under the blanket with you, he didn't. Draven made himself cozy next to you, turning on the TV and putting on your favourite thing to watch. The more you thought about it, why did he go out of his way to do all these things? You weren't together but he almost treated you like you were. While you thought and went over the possibilities in your head, you were unintentionally staring at him. He could only assume what you were thinking but ended up asking, "What about me?"

This time, you tilted your head. "What?" "What about me?" He asked again, locking eyes with you as you thought for a moment. You didn't fully understand what he asked at first before realizing. He was asking, what if you dated him instead? "I... I didn't think you were into guys..." You said softly, having only ever seen him with girlfriends before. Draven glanced away awkwardly. "I wasn't. At least I didn't think I was." He said softly, looking back to you with a small smile. "Not until I met you." Draven paused for a second and bit his lip gently. "I didn't actually break up with my last girlfriend cause she was bad or anything... I broke up with her cause spending time with you made me realize I was actually into men. I was into you, specifically." He pauses and chuckles. "I mean, I'm still into you but-" You didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence, grabbing him by the nape of his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

Dravens hands naturally found their way to your waist, pulling you a bit closer. "Is there anything else important you need to tell me?" You asked once the two of you pulled away, keeping your eyes locked with his. Draven was contemplating if he should be honest or not. "I'm a werewolf?" He said, almost questioning what he said. Your brows furrowed, before a small smile a laugh left you. After your small giggle session you realized he was dead serious. "I dont believe you." You said, looking at him, slightly concerned. "Earlier when I picked you up, I said that you smelled better." He stated, one hand making its way up to cup your cheek. "You smelled like that prick still, his scent was all over you." Draven said, leaning in and nuzzling his nose in your neck. "Now you smell like me." He whispered, making you blush again, still unsure how to react to his sudden reveal. "I-I'm not sure if I fully believe you on that..." Draven pulled back and tilted his head.

"On the whole sudden Werewolf reveal..." You said softly, still being a bit shocked at the possible fact that he's a werewolf. Draven thought for a moment before using one of his large hands to cover your eyes. You protested at the sudden lack of sight and tried to pry his hand away but he wouldn't move. After a minute, he let go and you blinked a couple times. Your brows furrowed again when you saw two wolf ears sitting atop his head, perked and focused solely on you. "Haha, very cute." You said, thinking he was actually joking. You reached up and grabbed one of the ears, pulling on it gently only to realize it was actually attached to his head. "Wait seriously?" You asked, other hand shooting up to pet his other ear. They're super soft for a wolf. Draven blushed softly and nodded as you nearly crawled into his lap to pet and scratch behind his ears. He couldn't help but hide his face in your neck when you noticed he had a tail that was happily wagging behind him.

"Oh gods youre too cute..." You mumbled, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. Draven hugged you close and kissed at your neck gently. "Is this ok?" He asked, making you nod and ask him to keep going. Dravens kisses were slow and sweet, as if he was savoring you, making you shiver. "Draven..." You mumbled out, hugging him as well when he pulled back to rest his chin on your shoulder. "You're too good for that asshole." He said, keeping you pressed up against him. Draven laid back, keeping you close while you snuggled into him, his tail still swishing against the couch. "I think we could work." You said, nuzzling your face into his neck this time. Draven smiled and squeezed you tight for a moment before loosening his grip again. "I'd like that."

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Buddy i’ll cuff you to a piped radiator if i don’t get a part two to the no nut November thing. i’m knawing on my cage i need james so bad 🤤

A/n: This is technically part four but you asked for James so I figured I'd use this for James

Warnings: Smut, spanking, semipublic sex, mentions of voyeurism, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Intro

James had heard Kirk was out, it bugged him he wasn't the first with you but he was also in it for the money. Then he heard Lars was out, and he couldn't believe he let that rat touch you before he got to.

He practically stormed the house looking for you only to find you outside sun tanning by the pool.

He quickly came out and sat near you, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. He was in his jeans and a band tee, not something to wear out in the sun by the pool.

You smiled at him as he sat down, thinking up some sort of plan.

You rolled onto your stomach and reached for the bottle of lotion, holding it up towards him. "Jamie, do you mind putting lotion on my back?" You asked innocently enough.

James heart fluttered at the nickname alone and he nodded as he got up. He sat on the edge of your chair and squeezed a dollop onto his palm, rubbing it on his hands before bringing his hands to your back.

The lotion was cold, causing you to gasp softly. He did his best to not be creepy or anything, but you kept making noises and it was driving him crazy.

"Jamie, what are you doing?" You asked in a teasing tone. James had been lost in thought, your voice drew him back and he realized he'd just straight up grabbed your chest.

He opened his mouth and pulled his hands away, immediately going to apologize before he decided against it. "Not my fault you're so fucking hot" He said, smacking your ass. Not too harsh, yet.

You lifted your head to look through the large glass panels leading into the house. "What if someone sees?"

James scoffed. "Like you really give a shit." You chewed your cheek, you didn't care, honestly you wanted it to happen. "Besides, no one else is home." There went your hopes.

You sucked your bottom lip as you thought about it, but you didn't get to say anything more before James was taking his clothes off behind you.

You watched him undress, watched his hard cock slap his abdomen, watched as he moved between your legs and gripped your hips in a tight hold, sure to leave bruises the next morning, just to pull your ass back to him.

He pushed your bikini bottoms to the side and pushed in, a deep groan leaving him as he did so. "Fuck, I should've just taken you for myself, never let Kirk or Lars touch you in the first place." He grumbled. You wanted to question him more on that but he started moving his hips, setting a fast pace already.

He was big and hit deep in you, rubbing against your walls so perfectly. He held your hips in place as he rammed into you, shoving your face into the thin pillow you'd been resting on.

"Fuck, Jamie! Slow-slow down." James had been desperate for you to be around him and now that he had it it was driving him crazy.

The chair creaked and James barely reacted in time to catch you before you faceplanted into the concrete below as the chair leg gave out, snapping off.

James couldn't bring himself to care about that right now. He had one arm around your waist, hand in your bikini and rubbing your clit, his other arm around your chest, groping your tits, all while he kissed up your neck, licking and biting you.

The only real privacy you had were the bushes surrounding the yard, you were certain the neighbours could and would hear with how loud you were being.

"I wanted this since the minute you walked through that door." He grunted in your ear. "Took every part of me not to run out here and fuck you right then and there." You weren't really listening, too busy getting fucked dumb to pay attention.

"Want to feel you cumming on my dick, sweetheart," he grunted, licking a spot on your neck, "can you do that for me?" You nodded, already feeling that knot building inside you. "Good." James bit down on you, making you squeal.

Your breath hitched and your eyes rolled back, knees buckling and legs going weak.

James, having been so, so fucking needy for you, came as soon as he felt your walls clenching around him, deep moans falling right into your ears, his big hands holding you flush against him.

"Dude..." A voice came. Cliff had come home early for whatever reason and was blowing smoke out his mouth as he stared at the both of you.

[libby-for-life]

what about yandere Lucifer holding Lute captive during an extermination and promising to release her back in Heaven’s safe arms so long as Adam takes her place and agrees to become his queen. And Adam agrees

Adam was having a grand time shooting all those vile fuckers. They were certainly dropping like bugs. He sighed as he heard the bell toll signaling that Extermination Day was done. He watched as everyone gathered up in the air.

Adam counted, paused, and then recounted. "Lute?" He called out. When his ladies looked around and at each other in confusion, Adam began to get worried.

"Lute?!" No answer.

"I thought I saw her near...the devil's palace. She was chasing some Imp...."

Adam felt his heart thump in his rib cage. Shit. "Go without me, girls. I'll find her."

They all looked at each other before nodding and taking off. Adam dashed for the biggest building in the Pride Ring. He landed heavily, breaking the ground below him. He scanned the surrounding place with his eagle-like eyes, desperately trying to find his right-hand woman.

"Ah. I was wondering when you would show up."

Adam whirled around and almost tripped at what he saw. Lucifer himself was sitting on a stone chair, his legs crossed and a smug smirk on his face. His red eyes held smug power but it was mixed with...something Adam couldn't name.

And by his feet was Lute, bound and gagged in angelic chains. "Lute!" Adam screeched as he flew towards her only to stop when Lucifer produced an angelic sword and pressed it to her neck.

"Ah. Ah. Ah. Stop where you are or the pretty little angel gets it."

Adam fisted his hands, glaring hatefully at the devil. "What do you want?" He said, his voice dripping with malice.

"I'm glad you asked." Lucifer's demeanor changed to someone who was pleased. "I want you."

Adam paled. "You want...me? Like, my head or something?"

Lucifer laughed. "Oh, nothing like that!" He smirked again. "I want you. I want to own you, Adam. In exchange for this angel's freedom, you take her place."

Adam glanced at Lute who was struggling and shaking her head, clearly against him even thinking about the deal. But how couldn't he?

Lute was like a daughter to him. She came from him. She was made out of his essence. Adam would never be able to forgive himself if he didn't do this.

"Fine. I'll trade places with her."

"MMMMF!" Lute screamed, fear for his safety written across her face. Lucifer chuckled. "I figured you would do it. You care far too much." He produced a glowing gold scroll and quill. "Sign on the dotted line, Adam."

Adam could feel his tears coming up as he signed his life away. Suddenly, chains wrapped around his body and he was pulled to the ground. Adam cried out as he was dragged into Lucifer's arms and hugged tightly.

"Leave, bitch. Before I find someone to kill you." It was then Adam noticed that Lute was free. She stumbled into the air and yelled. "I'll find a way to get you back, Sir!" And she was off, flying for Heaven.

"Aw. She thinks she can help you." Lucifer mocked as Adam shook in his grip. His face was gripped harshly and Adam whimpered. He gazed into Lucifer's eyes and saw just how crazy the devil looked.

Adam flinched when the devil kissed his cheek. "Let's get you inside. We have a lot to make up for~!"

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 20/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 21, PART 22

Like ketchup. Slowly then all at once.

Radioapple!

--------------------------------------------------

Lucifer still feels like he's underwater, floating where the current takes him. He thinks he's dreaming because his eyes refuse to open all the way.

At least he isn't burning anymore.

It's mostly quiet, the only sound he can hear is the sloshing of the water.

It's calm. He doesn't know how long has it been since he's been calm in the quiet without company.

Once in a while though, he hears voices. The waves carry them in weird intervals and he tries very hard to think who is talking.

'You'll be okay, Luci.'

'I'll do everything to make you comfortable and back to full health.'

'AN HONOR TO SERVE YOU, SIRE. DO GET BETTER. I SHALL GIVE YOU THE BEST SERVANT THE GOETIA CAN PROVIDE.'

'Big bro, if you wake up now, I'll give you a lifetime supply of my juice!'

'Okay fine, I'll change Looloo Land's name fo real, yeah?'

'You need to meet Fizzie still, Luci.'

'Don't worry sir! I didn't touch a single duck in your room when I cleaned it. No more bugs though!'

'Zestial and I give our deepest gratitude in behalf of the overlords, Your Majesty.'

'Charlie is a fast learner.'

'Oh, Your Majesty, do wake up. I don't think I can take any more of Alastor's not-rambling. I love me some romance but whooowee, a woman has her limits, yknow!'

'I don't think I can eva' thank ya enough fo' setting me free, short king.'

'Pretty badass, your kingness.''

'I want to get to know you still sir.'

'Darling, do come back to me now. I miss you so. And do not listen to any of Rosie's lies.'

'Dad, please wake up. I need you.'

The last voice caused the calm waters to turn into a whirlpool and he feels himself being pulled down. A bright light appears in front of him, illuminating the deep, dark waters. And for a moment, just a moment, he thinks- no it couldn't be;

He reaches out a hand to touch but as soon as it did, he was propelled to the surface.

Lucifer wakes up slowly and then all at once. The King blinks in confusion and trying to get his eyesight to clear. A blurry figure of white is the first to greet him; no face but it's smiling?

'Father?'

Charlie: Dad!

Huh?

Lucifer: Charlie?

He winces at the state of his voice. Did he scream himself sore? He tries remembering what happened and-

The roots.

Roo.

A ritual.

Charlie.

Hell.

Sloth.

Goodie.

The deal.

A prophecy.

A sudden pain stabbed his head which caused him to groan.

Lucifer: Shit!

He forces himself to sit up just to relieve it a little. A rubbing hand on his back grounds him a bit. Looking up, he came face-to-face with his daughter. His sweet, lovely, Charlie.

Charlie: Woah, Dad. Take it easy. Here have water and some pain meds. Aunt Bel left it here just in case.

He doesn't need to be told twice as he took the pill, noting the bitter taste in his mouth. Pride be damned (ha! get it?), he just wants the pain to go away.

Charlie is still fussing and talking a million miles per hour and Lucifer doesn't have the heart to make her stop even though his head is about to split in half.

Maybe Charlie will forgive him if he snaps right now. Thankfully that doesn't happen as a new person comes to enter his room.

Alastor: Charlie, dear, I think your father would appreciate a quieter room.

Charlie: - Oh, Al! Right! Sorry, dad.

Lucifer: It's okay, applepie. Can you also dim the lights a bit?

Alastor: Charlie, might I ask of you to get food for your father? There should be some leftovers still.

Charlie: O-oh I- Sure, Al! Be right back, dad!

As soon as she left, Alastor moves to Lucifer's bedside. Lucifer follows his movements and only then does the King realize the insane amount of flowers taking up every space in his room. And then he realized that Alastor has some in his hands too.

Lucifer: What's all this?

Alastor: Why, tokens from your loved ones and dearest citizens. These ones are of mine.

The Radio Demon points at the golden Marigolds. Lucifer observes the other flowers and sees that every bunch has atleast a few Marigolds tucked in them.

Did.. did Alastor put them there so he could have the most flowers given? What a possessive bastard.

His endearment must be obvious in his face because Alastor huffed- freaking huffed!

Alastor: Whatever you are thinking, it is simply nonsense.

Lucifer puts his hands up in a mock surrender.

Lucifer: I didn't say anything.

Alastor: Good.

Alastor can be so cute when he wants (or not want?) to be. His lover? partner? Yeah, partner, sits down by his side, letting Lucifer lean onto his shoulder.

He's not soft like Lilith but Lucifer feels just as content. The sin of Pride stares at his arms that is now covered in runes he doesn't understand, no longer just plain black. Roo really did a number on him- her powers were far too strong it basically altered his appearance. He's more demon now than he was ever an angel. He doesn't know how to feel about that.

Alastor: Some things are to be discussed, right, Your Majesty?

Lucifer: Mmm. Yeah. But- I can't. Not right now. I'm not sure if I can.

Alastor: That's alright, mon ange. We are not in a hurry. We have our afterlife.

Lucifer bites his lip and holds Alastor's hands in guilt. This is a burden he must carry himself. What's inside him... it would be more dangerous if anyone else knew, especially Heaven. It's better to think of it as a wild card than a ticking time bomb.

Alastor hums a tune that makes him sleepy again. He doesn't remember falling asleep but he does vaguely recall being laid down again. He remembers a feeling of a kiss on his forehead, something brushing his cheek and moving his hair.

A nice calm before the storm.

---------------------------------------------------

Charlie took so long cos she wanted to heat it up but the microwave is missing?? (Alastor's doing)

Next chapter, Luci will wake again and have a talk with Charlie

Just wanted to get some Radioapple in there.

[heartshapedmisery]

here to ask for some sub!neil plssss🫶

YESSS been thinking about sub!neil too much recently I need him biblically !! sorry this took me a sec it got lost in my drafts and I forgot abt it

warnings! ⇢ MINORS DNI 18+ | sub!neil, unprotected sex, riding, petnames ( baby boy, sweetheart ), neil having a huuuge praise kink

The two of you fell back against the couch hastily, Neil shirtless below you as he pulled you down on top of him and his hands settled at the curves of your waist.

"Need you," he breathed, his eyes raking your figure as you sat back, your hands flat on his chest as you let him get a good look at you.

"Patience, baby," you cooed, the hint of a knowing smirk evident on your face as you could feel his erection grow harder beneath you as you sat on his lap. You could practically feel all of him through his boxer shorts, especially since you had no more than your favorite pair of lace panties on your lower half.

Hesitantly, you rocked your hips back, creating just enough friction to earn a soft moan from his lips. "Please," he whined, impatiently moving his hips around to relieve his hard-on as much as he could. You had always loved him like this. Eager for even the lightest of touches. The simplest of movements.

"Be good, sweetheart," you whispered. "Good boys get what they want." you told him, tucking a loose piece of hair behind his ear. Carefully, you pulled your t-shirt over your head and discarded it behind you without caring where it landed. Neil's eyes practically bugged out of his head when he saw your pretty lace bra matching your panties, his grip tightening on your waist.

"Want you so bad, need to feel that pussy," he breathed through a strained groan, beginning to grow irritated with your taunting. As much as you loved making him squirm underneath you like this, his rock-hard cock sitting right beneath your core had you worked up just as much as he was, your wetness pooling at the fabric of your panties.

Silently, you caved and dipped your hand beneath his boxers, grasping his length and pulling it free—his tip flushed and wet with his precum. Without thinking, your thumb ran over the slit at his head, making a shudder roll through his body along with an abnormally loud moan.

"So big, baby," you breathed, sitting up a little to pull the crotch of your panties to the side and align his tip with your entrance. "Don't know if it'll fit." His eyes watched your hand intently, his heart practically beating out of his chest as he watched himself slowly disappear inside of you as you sank down.

"F-Fuck," he choked out, his eyes screwing shut as a wave of relief washed over him. You were so wet around him, clenching him just right as you fell into a steady movement of rolling your hips across his.

He wasn't going to last long.

"Baby," you breathed, your hands planted on his bandy chest to hold yourself upright as you rode him, hanging on for dear life so you didn't fall off the couch. "Fuck, you're so big! Fills me so good."

He couldn't help but moan pathetically, your praise making his heart flutter. His hands clenched around the flesh of your thigh as he helped guide your hips up and down his cock, since you were practically bouncing on it by now.

"Fuck, (Y/N)," he let your name fall from his lips like a chant, barely masking the squelching sound of your wet cunt wrapped around him. Both of you were close, and his tip grazing your cervix with every move of your hips really wasn't helping.

"You gonna come for me, baby?" you breathed, feeling your own climax growing in your abdomen. Neil was too caught up in chasing his pleasure to say anything right away, his eyes screwing shut as he barely let out a response. "Y-Yes, fuck!"

Your hand gripped his arm as it wrapped around your waist, your nails digging into his skin as a borderline squeal escaped your throat, finally tipping over the edge of your high at the feeling of his release filling you. Neil moaned out as he thrust up into you, his body tense with pleasure as you fell onto his chest tiredly, your face burrowing into the crook of his neck. He could feel you smiling against his skin, your head moving to slowly plant sweet kisses along his neck and cheek before finally reaching his lips.

"So good," you told him in between pecks. "Always so good for me . . "

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Five

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (fem OC)

Warnings: Anxious Themes (includes a Comforting scene), Mild Meltdown (I don't want to say a panic attack because it isn't really) Mentions of Grieving, the most brief mention of funerals, silly&friendly bullying, drinking/alcohol (we know the drill), Fluff oh the fluff, & Jake yearns a little more (shocking).

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: After caving and finally asking for help, Jake doesn't know what to do with himself until she shows up. Which takes a big ol' turn for ... well, I guess we will find out, won't we? 🤭

Author's Note: If we're being completely honest, this was the first chapter I wrote, of this story. I knew exactly how I wanted this day to go and I couldn't stop myself when I thought of the idea. It's what fueled the bulk of the storyline and I really hope you guys love it as deeply as I do. 🥹

Clocks Go Forward - James Bay "Stay warm, close your eyes, let time fly, Stay close, stay right here, nothing to fear."

I slide my phone back into my pocket. Staring at it isn’t going to make her reply, Jake. I’ve been at the bar trying to figure out this paperwork for a while, and well, I’m lost. My hands keep finding their way to the back of my head as I read through these documents; I need to focus on something else. 

“Hey, how are you?” I say in passing some day-time regulars of ours. I collect any empty cans or glasses that I can, anything to keep me busy at this rate.  

I wander behind the bar, setting all the glasses in the dirty bin.

“Jake.” 

I look over to Josh, who’s wiping out a glass.

“Why don’t you just go get some lunch or something? You’re stressing me out being here.” 

“Is it really that bad?” I ask, running my hand through my hair. 

A laugh erupting from him says enough. 

“Okay, alright, I’ll leave you alone,” I tell him, “Just let me know if you need anything.” 

Reluctantly sitting back down at the desk in my office, I find myself with my head in my hands for a moment. You’re going to be okay. You’re new at this, and it’s okay to mess up. She’s giving you time to take care of everything. 

After a deep breath or two, I opened my laptop and pulled up my email. I decided that maybe spending some time doing mindless admin work would help distract me from the inevitable problem. 

I’m flying through these emails by humming along to whatever customers have chosen for the jukebox. Looking at the time in the top corner, 2:30 pm. 

She still hasn’t replied. Maybe she’s working with someone else right now; just be patient.  

I walk back into the bar, seeing a handful more people come in. I wave slightly to the regulars who like to camp out in the corner. They enjoy sneaking away from work for a few hours; “Lunch beers” is apparently what they call it.  I laughed the first time they told me about it, but as they continued the tradition, I understood it more and more. 

Looking to the corner of the bar, I see Quinn. I can’t help but watch the two of them for a minute with a grin plastered on my face. Seeing my brother so happy makes my heart swell daily, and Quinn is perfect for him; I can’t deny it. They just know how to handle him and reign him in when he’s being a bit too much. Which is more often than not. 

“Do you two want to go grab lunch?” I ask, slinking my arm around Josh’s shoulders, “I think I can handle the rowdy folk we have here.” I shoot a wink at the few customers sitting next to Quinn. 

His eyes light up, “You don’t have to ask me twice. Let’s go, bug!” 

I don’t think he could have left any quicker if he tried. Immediately, hand in hand with Quinn, and practically pranced out of the bar. 

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“And a squirrel fell down my chimney into my fireplace!” 

I nod with a quiet “mhm,” glancing at my phone hidden under the bar. 3:15 pm. I'm trying to look interested in this story I’ve heard a few times. The older gentleman talking to me forgets that he’s told me the majority of the tales he has in his arsenal. But I don’t want to cut him off; he seems lonely, and the least I can do is humor him. 

Hearing the door chime, followed by Josh making his entrance. 

“Welcome back,” I chuckle as he walks swiftly towards the bar. 

“I need to use the lavatory, and then I will be ready to rock ‘n roll or whatever kids say nowadays,” Josh mutters. 

You would think he’s nine hundred years old with how he talks sometimes, but it always keeps me on my toes. Watching as he disappears around the corner, I grab the older man’s glass and place it in the dirty bin. 

The door chime goes off again, causing my head to whip around. 

Oh, she’s here..?

As Charlotte slowly walks to the bar, I go to meet her at the opposite corner. I pull my phone out; she never replied? 

“I didn’t think I would see you today,” I start as she approaches. Leaning down to grab everything I had been looking at, I stowed away when I couldn’t focus anymore. 

“I have been reading through all of these, and I think you’re gonna need to explain these to me like I’m five–” I stop. I hadn’t looked at her face the entire time, and her eyes were pink and looked a bit swollen. She’s not making eye contact at all, which seems odd compared to the other afternoon, where I thought if she held my gaze any longer, I would explode. Was she crying? I questioned myself. I hope I didn’t cause this. Was she supposed to be off today? Oh my god, what if I’m the only reason she’s working? 

Finally pulling myself out of my head, “Are you okay?” 

She takes a shallow breath before looking up at me, and I can see that her eyes are fighting the urge to let the tears fall. 

“Um,” she swallows, looking back down, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Her raspy voice is so quiet I can barely hear it. Her lip quivers as she stands there, and I can see the way her breathing is picking up. Oh no, oh no, oh no.  

I hear the door to the bathroom open. Turning around, I shoot Josh a look. He makes eye contact with me as I bounce my eyes to Charlotte and back to him. I watch as he glances at her quickly, his eyes widening as if to say, ‘Do what you need to.’

I come out from behind the bar, grabbing her bag from the barstool it sat on. 

“Come with me,” I whisper to her; she just nods in response. 

I gently place my hand on her back, guiding her down the hall to my office. Just long enough to round the corner into the small room, she lets out the tiniest whimper I’ve ever heard. I toss her bag onto the chair, facing her as she finally breaks down. Her hands fly up to hide her face as she lets out the most heartbreaking sound. One sob was enough for me; I pushed the door closed behind her and pulled her into me.  

“Oh, honey,” I let slip out, holding her small frame tight against me as she cried. I listen to her sobs against my chest as I run my hand down the back of her head, holding her close. I close my eyes to help focus my breathing; being in these situations never gets easier and I’ll never understand how I always end up in them. 

“Take a breath for me,” I said quietly, trying to stay calm for her. I can feel her take a deep breath and shakily release it. Her arms drop from her face, finding their way around my back. Grabbing at my shirt gently, like she’s afraid I'll let her go.  

“I’m right here. Take your time,” I whisper, pressing my lips gently to the top of her head, “You’re okay.” 

We spend a few minutes like this. I keep rubbing slow circles on her back, resting my face against the top of her head to keep her tucked in. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask. I feel her shake her head ‘no’ before turning her face and leaning back against me, reaching up to push the hair out of her face. She lets out another shaky breath. 

“I‘m so sorry,” she mumbles into me. 

“Don’t apologize for having emotions.” 

I lean back to look at her, her breathing starts to feel more normal.

She looks tired.

I don’t know what comes over me when I reach up, holding either side of her face and gently wiping the tear stains on her cheeks away. 

Our eyes finally met; she really was beautiful— crying or not. 

Her gaze doesn’t falter, her green eyes locked on me. She almost makes me nervous, not in a mean or intimidating way, but like I shouldn’t be allowed to look at someone who looks like her.

“Do you want to um-” I hesitate, “go get something to eat? While we talk about things. Not like a d-”

Despite her watery eyes, she huffs out a laugh.

“Stop,” she says, “I know what you mean. Yes, let’s do that.”

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We walked into the restaurant, and considering it’s only 4 p.m., it’s not very busy. I let her pick where we sit, following behind as she chose. She had a soft smile on her face as she claimed the booth seat like she just won a prize.  

“Hi, can I please have a Boulevardier? ” Charlotte politely orders, my eyebrows raised at her choice. 

“Actually, I’ll take the same thing,” I tell them, “Thank you.” 

Charlotte pulled out the paperwork, flipping through it to see what I had left. Watching her green eyes flit across them, setting aside anything that needs more attention. The way that she chews the inside of her lip while she’s reading is endearing. 

“Okay, so you haven’t missed too many things.” She tells me. 

“Oh good,” I start picking at my lip, “I’m sorry, I just didn’t realize how much was involved.” 

“That’s alright, Jacob. It’s a lot, and nobody generally explains this part of business to you.” Normally, I would cringe at my full name being used, but I just want her to keep saying it. 

She pulled out one of the papers and turned it to face me. She pointed at the part I hadn’t filled out. 

“So essentially, this means–” She begins explaining. Her eye contact is intense while she talks, which makes it incredibly hard to focus. I feel myself slowly smiling as she’s telling me. I glance at her mouth quickly, making it even more challenging to pay attention. 

“What?” 

Damnit. I raised my eyebrows with a small ‘mmm’. 

“You looked like you wanted to say something?” She questions. 

 “Oh, I’m sorry– no, I was just listening.” There are a lot of things I could say.

“Oh– Well, anyway,” she shakes her head a little before continuing to explain. 

I really wish that I could tell you what she’s explained to me at this point, but to be completely honest, I have no clue. I’ve been far too distracted by the freckles on her nose and the way her eyes twinkle under these lights. I can’t get over the green of her eyes, with subtle gold flecks in them. Her hair is perfectly curled, and how the color of it stands out against her blazer.  She is unreal.

“Are you planning on doing that?” She asks, immediately pulling me out of my thoughts. 

“Yeah, absolutely.” 

“Great, Melody will really benefit from that,” she tells me. Benefit from what exactly?

“Do you need me to send you the information on that?” she quickly asks, grateful I’ll at least have context on what I’m agreeing to. 

“Please, if you could,” I say quietly as I rub my eyes.  

Our server stopped our conversation to take our order, giving me a second to try and refocus myself. She is trying to help you and isn’t being an asshole about it. The least you can do is pay attention to what she’s actually saying. Get it together.

“Okay anyway,” she starts again, “I think that’s everything?”  She sifts through the papers.

“Amazing,” I breathe out. “I’m sorry I made you come out here to help.” I sit back in my chair, my hands falling into my lap, where I quietly dig at the side of my thumb. 

“No, it’s okay, really,” she says, not making eye contact this time. “I was already in Portland, so it worked out.”

Her eyebrows pulled together as she told me, but I knew I shouldn’t ask. If she wanted to tell me what was wrong, she would. I’m not going to make her cry again.  

“Well, I’m glad I caught you at the right time then,” I say, offering a small smile. Her face softens a bit, and she leans forward, propping herself up. 

“So, how long ago did you buy the bar if it’s not even a year old?” 

“About two years ago, actually,” I tell her, “We took our time renovating it to feel right.” 

“We?” 

“All the boys helped me, but Josh really did the most with making it look the way it does.” I usually have no issue talking about the bar, but her being even vaguely interested has my brain stalling. 

“I love that. He did a good job curating,” she says, “Was the goal to be pirate-esque, or did it just end up that way?” 

I chuckle, “No, it was intentional. I’ve always enjoyed pirates, even as a kid, so I felt like it just made sense.”

“I think it’s nice that you made it your own. There are enough modern hipster bars in the area. It’s a refreshing thing to walk into.” 

Her compliment made my heart beat a little harder. I’m never one to assume, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who would hang out in a bar like mine. Granted, I guess I can’t really picture her hanging out in bars in general, but maybe that’s because I have always been a fan of the smaller, more dive bars. And I can confirm that I’ve never seen someone of her caliber in any of them. 

Once our food is brought out, I ask her about how she got into working for the state. We quietly chatted about some of the situations that she’d walked into, which unintentionally made me feel much better about my slip-up. But simultaneously, it made me realize how terrible men can be. I can’t imagine yelling at her regardless of what she told me. People are awful. 

The server brings over the check, and without hesitation, I slide my card into the little black folder and hand it back to them with a quiet, ‘Thank you.’  I bring my attention back over to her, her eyes a little wide but going back to normal as she continues telling me about another bar owner being a complete ass. 

I fill out the slip, leaving cash for the tip, before looking up at her.

“Ready?” I ask. She just nods a few times before sliding out of the booth. I wave my hand in front of me, “After you m’lady.” 

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“So, how far do you live from here?” I try to make some form of small talk on the way back to her car, avoiding the elephant in the room. 

“I live in Skowhegan, so it’s a little hike,” she tells me, looking around at the area’s architecture, “but my family has a house on Sebago Lake, so it’s not as bad when I have to come down here.” 

“Oh, I'm sure it’s peaceful over there.” I imagine how quiet that lake house must be this time of year. With minimal people vacationing or trying to fish on the lake, and it’s probably gorgeous in the mornings. 

“It really is,” she says, looking down at her feet for a second, “Do you live close?”

“I actually live above the bar,” I laugh every time I tell someone, “I know that probably seems ridiculous.” 

“Convenient, at least,” She giggles softly before looking at me with a smile. Oh, I’m gonna throw up. 

“It’s a blessing and a curse,” I tell her, “Blessing when you can just roll out of bed and run downstairs if you oversleep, but a curse when I find myself in there most days.. And nights.” Pointing at the crosswalk, nobody was coming; I placed my hand on the small of her back as I led her into the street, shit, carefully pulling my hand back as she stepped off the sidewalk. 

“You don’t get sick of being there?” 

“You would think so, but no. I love it, even if working with my brothers can be an absolute chore sometimes.” I tell her. 

She grabs my arm gently.

“I think that’s great, Jacob. It’s refreshing to hear someone love their job in this industry. It’s few and far between.” I glance over at her as she says it; my stomach has little knots forming as she squeezes my bicep a few times before pulling her hand back.  

She points to her car, parked just a short distance ahead of us. I see her pulling her keys from her bag as we approach it, unlocking the doors. I open her door for her, watching her face redden a little at the gesture. As she’s settling into her seat, I notice a brochure-looking paper in her passenger seat before realizing there’s a photo on the front. And a name. Oh my god, Charlotte. That’s why she was so upset. 

Setting her bag down in front of the pamphlet, she turned back to me with a soft smile, “How much should I send you for food?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. 

“But, Jacob..” 

“It was my idea. I’m not going to make you pay for that.” Also, it’s the least I can do, especially now.

“Okay,” she sighs. “Well, thank you for the food and walking me back here. I’m pretty sure I would have gotten lost.” 

“Of course,” I tell her, “Drive safe.” 

I go to close her door for her, and I don’t know what possessed me when I hesitate, “Actually—” what are you doing? “Let me know when you make it home? Just since it’ll be a little later.” 

She nods subtly before saying, “Okay,” with a quiet laugh. 

I bite at my bottom lip as I smile at her, gently shutting her door for her. 

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“Now, where have you been?”

 I haven’t even made it fully behind the bar, and I’m already getting harassed.

“It’s nice to see you too, Linda,”  I laugh under my breath, “I had to take care of some paperwork, but I’m here now.” 

Raising an eyebrow, she looks from me to my right, where Josh stands with a shit-eating grin. Oh, fuck me. 

“And how was that paperwork, brother?” He says joyfully, emphasizing his skepticism with heavy air quotes. 

And, here we go. 

“The paperwork went well,”  I side-eye him, “Thank you for asking.”

I watched the two of them share a look before looking back at me, and all I offered was a shrug in response. 

“Why were you not in your office doing paperwork?” Linda questions as Eleanor joins her at the bar in their usual spots. 

“Who wasn’t in the office?” Eleanor chimes in. 

“Jake! He apparently went somewhere with someone to take care of paperwork,” Linda fills her in, like two school girls at lunch. 

Rubbing my hand across my face, I turn around to dry some glasses while I’m interrogated further. I should have known my being nice to her would have me questioned. 

“Well, that sounds like he went on a date,” Eleanor unknowingly agreeing with their past statements. Josh is the most enormous pain in my ass, I swear to god. 

“It wasn’t a date!” 

 Josh laughed, “That sounds like something someone who went on a secret date would say.” I feel my body warm the more they talk about my “date.” WHICH WASN’T A DATE. 

“Well, who paid?” Linda asks. 

“Uhh… I did,” I hesitated to answer. “But- it was my idea to go there, so I didn’t want to make her pay anything.” 

“Oh! You went with a girl?” Eleanor quietly questions.

“Yes, I needed help with some business stuff, and she was able to help me,” I tell her. “If she hadn’t come in so upset, I would have just been here the whole time.” 

The ladies look at each other and then back at me before Eleanor pipes back up, “So what you’re saying is, I just need to come in here crying to score a date with you?” 

A laugh falls out of me before I can even process what she’s said; at least someone has a sense of humor about all of this. 

“That’s very nice of you to take her to lunch to try and help cheer her up, sweetheart,” Linda tells me. I smile at her compliment before putting away some of the glasses I had been drying. I feel Josh’s presence before he says anything, just setting some dirty glasses in the bin below the counter. 

“Is she okay?” he whispers, leaning over to make sure nobody else heard. 

“I don’t know, honestly,” I tell him, knowing I sound a little panicked about it. 

“Did she say why she was upset?” 

I shake my head ‘no’ before leaning over, “I saw one of those printouts you get at funerals in her car, and she was wearing all black, so I’m assuming that she uh—” 

Josh covers his mouth and turns to look at me. If there’s one thing I know about my brother, it’s that he will absolutely empathize with anybody about anything. 

“Oh shit,” he murmurs under his breath. 

I can’t hide the look of concern on my face as we stare at each other for no more than a few seconds. 

“She’ll be alright. You probably just caught a wave of grief, is all.” Josh says, grabbing my arm and giving it a few squeezes. 

I let out a small breath. He’s right. She probably just hadn’t really let anything out, and I just asked the wrong question. 

“You’re right,” I whisper back, patting the back of his hand on my arm, “I’m sure she’ll be fine.”  But that isn’t going to stop me from worrying. 

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Business picked up shortly after that, with all the tables full and chatter loud. It kept me from my thoughts, which is probably for the best. I’m grateful that Linda and Eleanor came in tonight; they always keep me busy. 

I take small breaks from behind the bar to go check on the tables of people, collecting the empty glasses and bottles; sometimes, it’s nice to just mindlessly clean up. I spend a few minutes making small talk with some of the regulars, noticing the time as one of their phones lights up. 

11:30 p.m. already? Where did the night go?  I leave the table with a slight wave and head back to the bar to leave the dirty glasses. Setting them all on the back counter, I can tell Josh is caught up in whatever the ladies are telling him. 

Rounding the corner into the hall, I quickly lock myself away in the bathroom. Pulling my phone out immediately, relief washes over me when I see her name sitting in my notifications. Thank god. 

Charlotte: I made it home. Thank you again 

Jake: I’m happy to hear that and of course

Jake: I hope everythings okay.

Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I head back into the bar. She’s home, at least there’s that. 

“You can go if you want. I can handle the rest of the night,” I tell Josh quietly. He’s been here all day, and I definitely didn’t intend for him to cover the bar for that long. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Please, go get some sleep or call Quinn. Just get out of here while you can.” 

He hands me the towel he was using and mouths ‘thank you’ as he slides by me; I really can’t blame him for being excited to go to bed. It’s been a long day. 

The rest of the night seemingly flew by. A fair number of people, including Linda and Eleanor, left by 1 am, which meant I had to clock into my true Customer Service self for the last hour of the night. But it’s always nice when people start to trickle out early so that I can start cleaning up to close and make my life a little easier. 

I’m leaning against the back counter talking to the last few customers, and I can’t help but let my mind wander. What if she’s still upset? There’s nothing I can do to help that situation, and that’s okay. Maybe she just needs a friend right now. I could do that?  Or maybe she’s already told her friends, and Josh was right. Was she just having a moment? Oh god, what if she has a boyf- 

My phone vibrates, pulling my attention away from my internal spiral.  1:57 a.m. Thank god.

Charlotte: It will be, i’m sorry that you had to witness that.

Jake: don’t apologize, i’m glad i was able to help..i hope?

Charlotte: It did help, truly. 

That makes my heart feel a little weird. Don’t get ahead of yourself. 

Jake: well.. if you need anything, let me know? 

I set my phone down underneath the bar and started printing the tabs for the last customers who were sitting. I went through the motions as I put the papers out front of each of them with a pen. I watch as they sign on the line, possibly leaving a tip; either way, I’m not bothered. Leaving with a friendly ‘Have a good one,’ I follow behind them, locking the doors and shutting off the neon lights. Happy to know that I have hardly anything left to do. 

The brisk air hits me as I lock the back door, and I practically run up the stairs. Opening the door, it’s quiet. He must be asleep then. I carefully walk through the apartment, cracking his door open to see him tucked away in bed. 

“Goodnight, Josh,” I whisper, pulling his door shut gently. 

I shut my door as softly as I could, immediately pulled my flannel off, and tossed it on the end of my bed. Followed by my jeans before I grab my phone from my nightstand. 2:34 a.m. I open my messages to see her name sitting there with the blue, unread messages dot glowing back at me. 

Charlotte: I may take you up on that.

Why is she still awake? It’s so late. 

Jake: I hope you do

Be more obvious, Jake, come on.. 

Jake: Also why are you still up? lol

It changes from ‘delivered’ to ‘read’ almost instantly. I watch the typing bubbles pop up, making my stomach turn. 

Charlotte: I just haven’t been tired enough to sleep, but I think I’m getting there.

Jake: After everything, I figured you’d be exhausted

Charlotte: You would think lol 

Dropping my phone next to me. I rub my hands down my face. Trying to get the look on her face just before she cried out of my mind. ‘I’m so sorry’ in her sad little voice, playing on a loop. The sounds of her sobs against my chest, her shaking in my arms. I almost wish that I didn’t know why she was upset now. 

Jake: well don’t let me keep you up

This time, my message sat on delivered for a few minutes. I did my daily scroll on mindless apps and looked at the few new photos people had tagged the bar in before she replied. 

Charlotte: You’re not a bother at all, but I should probably try to sleep before it gets too much later.

Charlotte: Goodnight Jacob

My mind ran through all the ways that I could reply. How I’d love to tell her that I’m sorry for her loss and that I hope everything gets better. Even that, I had a lovely time talking to someone outside of my family and their partners for more than a few minutes as I served them a beer. It felt like we could be friends even, with the way she didn’t seem phased by any of the vaguely nerdy things I said. Unfortunately, my hands settled on something more straightforward, and I quickly hit ‘send.’

Jake: sleep well, Charlotte 

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Chapter Four

Chapter Six

FDOG Masterpost | Masterlist | FDOG Playlist

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[salyby26]

Shino x reader

Warning: g/n reader, cute shino

Word count : 362

Characters: shino, you

Note: here’s some live for my sweet love shino, if you have any ideas or requests don’t be shy ! Next one will probably NSFW~ish. I’m sorry it’s short…

You were walking through the forest, enjoying the peacefulness of your surroundings. Suddenly, you heard noises in the bushes. You tensed up, ready to fight if necessary. However, a familiar figure appeared - it was Shino Aburame.

"Hello, [Name]," he said in his usual monotone voice.

"Hey, Shino. What brings you here?" you asked.

"Taking a walk with my bugs. What about you?"

"I was looking for my necklace, I lost it during my last training" you replied.

There was a moment of silence between you two until Shino spoke up again.

"My bugs found it earlier today, while I was walking ?" he said holding it for you to take.

"Thank you ! Want to take a walk with me ? " You thanked him, feeling a smile creep onto your face. You and Shino had been friends for a while, but you had always admired him from afar. Now, you had a chance to spend some time with him alone.

As you walked, you talked about various things - missions, friends, and even your hobbies. You were surprised to find out that Shino had a passion for gardening. You could sense his excitement as he talked about the different plants he had grown.

"Maybe you can teach me how to garden sometime," you said, smiling up at him.

"I would be happy to," he replied, turning to face you.

You two stopped walking, and you found yourself staring into Shino's dark sunglasses. You couldn't read his expression, but you felt a strange sensation in your chest.

Suddenly, Shino leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. You were taken aback at first but quickly melted into the kiss. It was soft and gentle, yet passionate.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," Shino admitted, his voice slightly shaky.

You smiled, feeling your heart swell with happiness.

"I'm glad you did," you replied.

From that day on, you and Shino started dating. You learned more about him every day and fell deeper in love with him. You couldn't believe that the quiet and reserved Aburame ninja had stolen your heart.

Thank you for reading !

[gozine-translate]

Terminally-ill Genius Dark Knight - 169

169: The Downfall [1]

Was it about half a day since we've been walking? Nox found a small stump. No one should live in this place, but it must be a resting spot set up by someone else in charge.

'[Winterbridge]. And near [The Frozen Frostwood Forest]? It’s definitely her.'

I thought briefly about a character that would appear later in this place. There's no reason to meet now, but later, I'll cross paths with her.

Anyway…

As I sat down and dozed off for a moment, I sensed two familiar figures approaching.

It was Noah and Astrid

Two of the Four Sages had come.

'I’m saved.'

I casually greeted them, despite only just feeling relieved.

"You're here."

"No matter how troublesome it was, I wouldn’t abandon my disciple."

"Is that so."

"Of course~"

Noah, who was always in her child-regressed mode, was now in her adult form. Eleanor, seeing this for the first time, hid behind Nox for a moment, but soon relaxed when she realized it was Noah.

"Thank you for coming to save us. If it weren't for the Dean, I’d surely be dead."

"Really? I’m glad~ Unlike a certain other student, you’re humble~."

Eleanor was back to her usual composed self. Nox felt a sense of relief.

'Yeah, it's not good to suddenly change your personalities. That’s never a good sign.'

"Dragon's Breath… Did you succeed?"

Astrid asked, sounding casual. but her gaze was secretly expectant. Though she didn’t show much emotion, but by now I've gotten pretty used to it. For her, this was actually very surprising.

"Yes."

"Well done. Even so, only a lunatic will stop their heart and focus all of their mana in the lower dantian, but…”

Noah gave Nox a sharp look as she said that, but I stood firm.

"There was an Ice Dragon. I had no choice but to fight."

"I know. I could feel it. You’re quite something yourself, huh."

Nox shrugged off Noah's words and got to the real question.

"Was it Professor Aleph?"

"… Yeah. He was a demonic human. Filthy bug dared to mess with the academy I was in…?"

Noah was furious as she said that, but she quickly calmed down and relaxed her expression.

"Anyway, he was nothing. Weak and pathetic."

"Is that so."

"Are you alright?"

"I’m fine, but… I'd really like to go back and rest."

"Hop on my back. But you have to keep my identity a secret."

"Eh? Me?"

Eleanor, looking flustered for once, asked.

Not long after, Astrid used a polymorph to change her form. Without realizing it, Eleanor's mouth dropped open. Its wings and enormous mana couldn't even be compared with the dragon she'd seen earlier. Eleanor was in awe as she gazed at the sacred flames and its fangs. It was clear who she was looking at. Astrid. She dealt with a lot of information through her merchant work and investigated this already. Someone she didn't know among the four sages or three sword emperors? No one. And even though they didn't know Luna's face that well at the beginning, the Rivalin family gained power through dealings with Lunatic. So it’s just natural that she knows about her identity.

So, when Eleanor realized who Astrid was, unconsciously, she couldn’t help but raise her voice.

"No way… Are you really Astrid-nim, one of the Four Sages?"

Right after snapping out of her surprise, she asked. Astrid nodded slightly, and Nox casually climbed onto her back.

[Take your shoes off before you get on.]

"Your disciple was injured, and you’re being so petty."

[Want me to hit you, or will you just take them off?]

"Haa."

As if it was troublesome, Nox took off his shoes and stored them in his inventory, then extended a hand to Eleanor out of habit. Signaling her to grab it. He thought for a moment that this wasn’t right, and when he was about to pull his hand back.

"I’ll take it."

Eleanor took his hand and climbed onto Astrid’s back. Noah sat at the very back and asked Nox about what had happened. But, Astrid, as if hadn't no interest in whatever happened, floated into the air and started flying with an absurd speed. Completely ignoring the laws of physics. As Nox enjoy the comfortable Dragon's ride, they could go back to the Academy

————————————————

When Eleanor and I returned to the academy. We were greeted (?) by a buzz of whispers. Especially those directed at Eleanor were loud, and the reason was quite shocking.

— So, did Eleanor really get ousted from the Rivalin merchant group?

— Yeah, that's what I heard.

— Even the nobles turned their backs on her.

— Well, she did take too much for herself.

— How did that happen anyway?

— The imperial family cut off their ties with her.

— What…!

I frowned. This was clearly Rick’s doing. It must have been a shock for Eleanor, but I knew how this scenario would play out in the end.

I also knew that this was the right time.

It was the perfect time to set up a plan to pressure Rick and the First Prince, Louis von Arckheim, and deal with them.

“Stay calm. As you know, crises can turn into opportunities.”

“…Yes, I trust you.”

What?

I was taken aback by Eleanor’s words for a moment but quickly regained my composure.

"I knew something like this would happen. In fact, when I asked Shane… no, when I asked you to protect me, the nobles had already started turning their backs on me. But it’s okay now. Really."

Eleanor smiled softly, a clear smile. Standing in the courtyard, she crossed her hands lightly behind her back and said to me.

“If they think I’m just going to back down, they’re making a mistake. I won’t let anyone take what’s mine.”

"… Is that so?"

"Yes, that’s right."

"Well then, keep it up. I’ll make sure no one takes what’s mine either."

It was a moment of realization. Not letting something be taken It’s mostly the same as protecting, but it carries out a strong nuance that you have to do it no matter what. This must be her way of protecting what's important to her. With that thought, we exchanged brief farewells.

“Go get some rest then.”

"Yes, see you again"

After our light conversation, I walked back to Sidus' Hall, lost in thought. No matter how much I reflected, it was still difficult.

Human emotions, how difficult they are. Why had Eleanor changed in an instant? I still didn’t fully understand. What would someone like me, who used to hole up at home playing games, smoking, and drinking alcohol, know about any of this? But for now, I thought it didn’t really matter.

Eleanor’s final smile, the tears she had shed These were things I could never have truly experienced while playing the game. They were precious. When someone does something for me.

And it’s genuine, my heart couldn't help but swell. Though it was so sudden, I thought to myself that I should treat my units well, and let out a small laugh.

I believed that this was an opportunity to become better.

….And that’s when I arrived back at my room in Sidus' Hall. The moment my resolve started to crumble.

"…So, Young Master Nox, could I ask what kind of trouble you got into this time?"

"…You should ask about my health first, Zitri.”

"Are you healthy?"

“…No, I think I’ve got a bit of a fever.”

I felt a cold sweat trickling down my back. Was it because I was in the cold place for too long?

As I entertained this idle thought while I looked at Zitri for a brief moment, I let out a sigh without realizing it. We had only been away for a day, but it seemed her worries were not ordinary.

"Please quickly take a bath and rest. Can you wash by yourself?"

"Probably."

I managed to answer as I felt all the strength leave my body.

"… I guess I have no choice. I'll help you with your upper body."

Zitri draped my arm over her neck, and with a sigh of resignation, helped me take off my outer clothes, hanging them up for laundry, and dragged me to the bathroom. No matter how you put it… This time, I thought that the [Prone to Minor Illness] was popping out quite often. This damn trait. I grumbled to myself, barely holding off the sleepiness.

After Zitri helped me wash, I tried to review the situation.

Then, I checked my status window. To confirm the title I had just earned. One of the rare, legendary traits from the Inner Lunatic play. [Dragon Slayer].

[Basic Info] Name: Dragon Slayer Type: Title Rank: High Attribute: Ice Stats: - Equip Requirement: Killed a dragon. Special Effect: Adds 30% extra damage to ice-attribute magic and swordsmanship.

'Ice attribute magic or sword…'

There are quite a few types. Though I haven’t learned any yet (due to my cold limbs). But if I learn it properly, it should be pretty useful. A 30% damage boost is ridiculously strong. Especially considering how hard it is to raise stats or damage in Inner Lunatic.

'… Well, maybe later I should learn the [Frost Sword] from Christopher.'

Though it's not perfect yet, since he wields a sword infused with frost, I thought it wouldn't be bad to learn from him.

Anyway, even the extra 0.5 mana stat I gained is already a nice bonus. I can think about it more when I actually need it.

For now… I have to sleep.

Fatigue is one of the roots of all evil, after all.

————————————————

Eleanor de Rivalin hadn't sought out any new attendant. She first returned to her merchant group and provided proper support to the forces that still followed and supported her.

Even if the imperial family tried to push her out, would it really be that easy?

Naturally, a merchant group. Especially one dealing with massive amounts of money. can’t be easily sanctioned by the state. Extremely normal.

If she decided to take her vast capital and seek refuge in another country? Naturally, the wealthy could stop gathering in the Arkheim Empire. If that happened, various sectors, for example, manufacturers starting from agriculture, fishing industry. and even master craftsmen handling precious metals, would start to leave. The nation's influence would naturally weaken, and the taxes it could collect would decrease.

"It probably wasn’t Princess Penelope’s doing."

If Penelope had decided, she would have taken Eleanor down more cautiously. Eleanor didn’t think Penelope harbored such deep malice, but regardless, the conclusion was just one.

"It must have been Louis von Arkheim. The First Prince."

Eleanor had no intention of backing down. Was it just to protect the merchant she had built? No. It wasn’t that sentiment. It was just…

— Stay calm. As you know, crises can turn into opportunities…

Nox’s final words kept echoing in her ears, making it impossible for her to simply accept the situation. She didn’t understand why but… Really didn't understand.

Eleanor fanned herself as she remembered Nox coming to her rescue. Covered in blood, sword in hand, he had slowly cut a path forward, eventually even taking down a dragon. Thinking back on it, she couldn't help but mumble to herself.

"Beautiful…"

The moment she realized it, Eleanor’s heart started racing wildly, as if it would go crazy.