#i could've done a more polished version of this

[oddthesungod]

sorry i had to do this

[fourswords]

me, pacing erratically: see, the thing is, link from the original legend of zelda did not have a sword before he got one from the old man in the cave and yet he managed to defend impa from the monsters pre-game so skillfully that impa was legitimately impressed with him and pleaded with him to help defeat ganon in the first place. so how did he do it? how did a ten-year-old boy with no weapon manage to singlehandedly drive off a bunch of monsters from terrorizing an old woman? my answer: i think he used rocks. i think that boy was throwing rocks left and right and bashing them into their fucking skulls and whatnot. and just given that the intentions of the original legend of zelda games were ultimately to let the player fill in the blanks as they played the game and as the final battle with ganon was so simplistically done (because, again, much was left up to the players' imaginations) i think from a theoretical standpoint, if we are to imagine the final battle with ganon as it happened in-universe—that is to say, a ten-year-old boy with absolutely no formal weapons training other than "run through monsters with the sharp end" fighting against the monstrous king of darkness who can and does turn invisible during the course of the battle—would it not be a fun idea to assume, then, that at some point ganon could have knocked the sword out of his hands? that at some point during the battle this iteration of link could've just gone "fuck it we ball" and grabbed a rock and managed to wrap himself around ganon's head and just started bashing him with it? like the absolute fucking feral child he is? would it not be a fun idea to assume that instead of eventually shooting ganon with the silver arrow from afar he simply grabs it from his bag in the scuffle (wherein ganon is trying in vain to remove the Screaming Fucking Child from his general head area) and stabs it into one of his eyes while he's up there? would it not be fun? would it not set him apart from the other iterations of link in the way that the games he features in already DO as zelda lore has evolved over the last almost-forty years that more games have been released? we're talking about the version of link who, as the original manual says, mysteriously appears out of nowhere and disappears just as quickly after the events of zelda 1 (though clearly he does eventually return to hyrule as evidenced by the events of zelda 2). would it not suit him to match the general atmosphere of the original legend of zelda game and fight in a manner that speaks more of survival than fight in a way that imitates polished heroics like you would see from some sort of knight? would these hypothetical scenarios as to how the final battle with ganon could have gone down not add an infinite amount of characterization and flavor to an otherwise simplistic fight? does this not interest you?

you, tied to a chair in my basement: ggod pleas,,e,,, jsut let me go i want to see my fuckign family,,,,,,,

[kozachenko]

A Retrospective Analysis on Touhou 17

So it's finally here, and even though I know for a fact that I am not going to be able to get the Keiki drawing done by this time (I'm having trouble with the eyes, for some reason it's always that aspect of drawing her that's difficult for me, I can never really capture the essence of her character no matter what I do) I still wanted to post something about this game today since it's the game's 5 year anniversary. I have a lot of thoughts on it, and my views on the game have changed quite a lot throughout my time being a Touhou fan. This is going to be very long so I'll put the rest under the keep reading tag.

So for some background, Touhou 17 was the first Touhou game I ever played, I got into the series during 2021 shortly after my Hunter X Hunter phase ended (since the manga was still on hiatus at the time) and I remember playing 17 during that time as well. I'm pretty sure that the reason I played it was because of that one nitirushh animation where Keiki disses the animal spirits so hard that they die (still my favourite fan-depection of Keiki tbh, it's just really funny to me) and that set my interest in the game itself. It was also the newest Touhou game at the time and none of the other games interested me as much. Then I actually played the game and at the time I found it insanely fun. I remember feeling so excited playing the stage 1 of the game and thinking to myself "Holy shit I'm actually playing a Touhou game" and having a lot of fun with it. Even though the game itself is the easiest out of all the Touhou games, it was still a challenge for me at the time since I had never played a bullet Hell before. For this reason, the game as a whole struck a chord with me. Funny Touhou animation aside, I don't know if it was because I had only recently gotten out of my Hunter X Hunter phase after finishing the whole 2011 version of the anime and had caught up with the manga during 2020, but maybe some aspect of 17 kinda scratched a similar itch in my brain and it really stuck with me IDK.

As for what I think of the game itself now.... gameplay wise, it could be better, it's still fun but there was so much potential for the game to tell it's story through the medium it chose to present itself in. Why did we not have more similarities between Eika and Keiki's danmaku styles to show their connection? Why did we not have a moment similar to what happened in TD during the final boss fight where Mayumi comes back in to take over during the fight in a last ditch effort to protect Keiki? It's the final boss so go all out! The animal spirits could also be balanced a lot better as well, especially with Youmu becoming incredibly overpowered with the wolf spirit, and visibility is a bit of a problem in this game. Some of the tracks could use a bit more polish too, I commend ZUN for being experimental with his newer tracks but the stage 3 theme and staff roll theme are both kinda eh, and while the boss themes have a lot of good punch to them and can be really good, it still feels like some extra spice could've been added to really make them stand out (which is why I love the theme remixes Saki and Yachie got in Touhou 19). I also wish the Animal Realm got explained better within the lore of the series, mainly because it raises a lot of questions about how Hell was founded and it kinda needlessly complicates things. I would've rather it be introduced as it's own region of Hell rather than being a separate thing entirely that just so happens to be located next to it. I also wish that we got more stuff with this setting that explains how it connects to the rest of the worldbuilding a lot more, I definitely feel like actually having it explained more in the mangas would definitely help to make it feel less convuluted, but unfortunately the closest we're getting are cameos in Lotus Eaters and very brief mentions of the games themselves. I still like the game though, as I've mentioned I do love a lot of the music and I love all the characters we got introduced to in this game. I've been appreciating Eika a lot more recently, I do like Urumi but she's neat and I like her design a lot, Kutaka is a fucking shithead who kept FUCKING UP MY 1CCS IN BOTH 17 AND 17.5 THE FUCKING BITCH- who is very funny and I love seeing more insight into Hell's management. Yachie's great and I find her relationships to the other characters in this game very interesting, Mayumi is awesome and the more I think about her the more I like her, and I love how Saki contrasts Yachie in her strategies. That being she has no strategy and just goes "fuck it, we ball" with no hesitation lmao.

I'm pretty sure you all noticed the absence of one character in particular, that being Keiki. I've made it no secret on this blog that Keiki is my favourite Touhou character, and a lot of that is because of her role as an antagonist in Touhou 17. I always found it really fascinating how ZUN created her as an allegory for AI (I don't know if Apollo just randomly blessed him with the gift of prophecy because MAN does that statement hit harder now more than ever) and the fact that she's portrayed as a very morally grey character in the game itself and Reimu's reaction to her, stating that she can see an "evil aura" in Keiki. I've already talked a lot about Keiki on this blog and I don't know what there is that I haven't said, but I wanted to start off with her because it ties into a big part of why I still find this game's story interesting. That main aspect being it's parallels to Gensokyo and Touhou's overarching them of humanity's relationship with nature.

So to step back from 17 for a second, I feel like we should look at what the Youkai represent in the story. Youkai in Touhou are created from humanity's fear, and back before science was able to properly explain anything, this fear very often manifested into a fear of nature. Natural disasters would end up wiping out villages, dangerous animals would often lurk in forests and end up killing anyone who would go in them. Overall nature isn't very kind to humanity, and humanity knows this. This is why humanity would often try and find reasons as to why these things would happen. This brings us back to the Youkai in Touhou who are the embodiment of the unexplainable. In manga like Forbidden Scrollery and Lotus Eaters, we often see how the humans in the human village are at the mercy of these Youkai, the only reason that they aren't being slaughtered is entirely for their own benefit so they don't run out of resources. The only hope the humans in the village really have is to turn to the gods, another product of man's desire to explain the unexplainable, to potentially save them. The survival of the people in the human village will always be in the hands of beings beyond their comprehension. No matter what, humanity will always be at the mercy of nature.

Coming back to Touhou 17, we can see that the relationship between the human and beast spirits isn't exactly.... pleasant. The beast spirits all see the human spirits as slaves essentially and they gain strength from their torment. The only way that the human spirits are even able to stand a chance against them is to submit themselves to a god and pray for their protection. And even then there's no way in Hell that they're getting out of this situation since the god they're praying to views them the same way as the animal spirits (whether they are aware of it or not).

So if you haven't noticed by my word choice, there are quite a lot of similarities here with the dynamics of the Animal realm and Gensokyo. That's not even mentioning the fact that in both places we have at least 3 different parties fighting over control of the humans, whether it be animal spirits or Youkai. Hell, this race for power in Gensokyo is a plot point in Lotus Eaters and Forbidden Scrollery, so it's not like this is a new concept for the series to explore either.

There's also something to be said about how Keiki and the technology she brings with her are seen as a threat to the order of the animal realm. Throughout human history, humanity's creativity and ingenuity have always been major factors in our survival as a species. We created tools to use the nature around us and make it work to our advantage, we created weapons to more efficiently hunt and find food to survive, and we created art and literature to document our histories and make sense of the world. Going back to 17, Keiki is the epitome of humanity's evolution and creativity and she is the one who responded to the human's cries for salvation. Another thing to think about is that in Gensokyo, the best the villagers are going to get in terms of technology are old computers that are very limited in their use, and even then barely anyone will have any idea how to use them. The reason that Gensokyo even exists in the first place is to preserve the Youkai and Gods that would become forgotten by humanity's technological advancement. In both of these places, technological advancement is seen as a threat to the natural order and must be suppressed at all costs.

Of course in Gensokyo it isn't as extreme as the animal realm. The Kappa, the Tengu, and even gods like Kanako are all quite technologically advanced and/or are introducing new technologies to Gensokyo (those are just the ones I could list off the top of my head, but please tell me if there are more that I forgot). But here's the interesting thing, notice how none of the examples I listed there were humans. The only way for the humans of Gensokyo to have these technologies introduced to them is if the powers that be, nature, let them have those technologies. Going back to the animal realm, even after Keiki is defeated we can see that the beast spirits are still using the technologies she (most likely) introduced, i.e. that one chapter in Lotus Eaters where one of the otter spirits introduced what is essentially a GameBoy to the Kappa and Nitori saying stuff like, "oh yeah the animal realm is actually pretty technologically advanced nowadays" as well as that one story in CoLA where Ran and Yachie deal with the AI Sumireko made. Once again, the only times when the use of technology goes unprotested in this series are when it's kept out of the hands of humans and back into the hands of nature. Even when humans are able to fight back and create their own technology, nature will always win in the end, no matter how hard humanity tries to defeat it. The way Touhou 17 ends is indicative of this, with Keiki being defeated and the Animal Realm returning to it's status quo.

However, Gensokyo has never had this kind of issue before.... or so it may seem. Yes there's never been any technological uprising by the human villagers and with the way things are there most likely never will be, but when you take away the potential for technological advancement from humans then the next best thing would be magic. And when humans in Gensokyo use magic to find a way to gain power and be more than just fodder for the Youkai, they end up being punished. This is most prevalent in Forbidden Scrollery when Reimu kills the fortune teller. I don't think I need to go too in depth about this moment since I already did so in my Forbidden Scrollery review but this once again shows a parallel between Gensokyo and the Animal Realm.

So what am I trying to say with all of this? I've been bringing up a lot of the similarities that these two places have but similarities can just be chalked up to coincidences that don't mean anything. What I've been trying to say with this whole thing is that the Animal Realm represents an extreme version of Gensokyo, one where every ugly aspect of it is dialed up to 11 and the law of the strong eating the weak rules all. It's a Gensokyo without a spell card system to level the playing field. I do want to say that I don't believe Gensokyo is a grimdark setting, sure some parts about it are bleaker than others, but there are also many good aspects of Gensokyo that I feel like I should bring up. It's a safe-haven for the forgotten, and if we continue viewing the Youkai and Gods from the lens of both of them being allegories for nature, Gensokyo is a place where nature can fluorish outside of humanity's hands. Unlike the Animal Realm, Gensokyo was never established with the intentions of harming people. Nature is both beautiful and terrifying, and where Gensokyo displays the beautiful sides of nature, the Animal Realm displays all the ugly sides of it. Even then, there is some overlap between the two, Gensokyo does have a nastier side to it and the Animal Realm is a place where nature can exist unrestrained by humanity (even if the place is still a shitshow overall). Now that I think about it, this sort of duality between the two realms is kinda fitting for Touhou, and I can't stress enough that when I say that Gensokyo and the Animal Realm have some parallels I am not trying to say Gensokyo is a grimdark dystopia. Hell even going back into the Lotus Eaters manga, the otter spirit that escaped from the Animal Realm even said that Gensokyo was a better place to live.

So yeah, I don't really have any good way to end this aside from saying happy 5 year anniversary Touhou 17. You are a flawed game but god do I still love you. Oh yeah, and if there's anything I missed or any mistakes I made, please correct me/let me know.

[laismoura-art]

How do you think Kenshi and Suchin met in this new timeline? Especially if you consider that Suchin was the reason for Kenshi’s redemption?

Hey, Bloos! Thanks for the ask!💕

I'll let you know that I have plenty of ideas for Suchin, both for the New Era, as well as for my Scorpion!Harumi AU (you let me know if you're interested in that one too 👀)

I had the chance to brainstorm a bit about her recently with ma gal @thedragonholder and also with @rasta-bot (both make amazing Suchin content💕), and that really helped me to organise my thoughts and ideas for her!

So, to answer your question, you gotta know my version of Suchin better, so please, let me walk you through this more polished version of her origins (now with more Kenshi🤭)

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ORIGINS:

Suchin's family descends from Seido, the Golden Kingdom, in Outworld.

Form an outsiders perspective, the place may feel like a true utopia, everything and everyone has their role and order reigns above. Unfortunately, to assure "order" the rules of Seido ended up being SEVERELY punitive, unfair, and often targeted the less fortunate classes.

Tired of such unfairness, the Bunnag family decided to flee and take as many families as they could (which, sadly, were not as many families as they wished).

For their decision, the Bunnags were cast as traidors and criminals and were hunted down by the city's rulers and their police forces.

The family could've gone after Queen Sindel and requested refuge in Sun Do (which she would've granted, mind you), but they were afraid Seido would see her actions as an act of war and start a bigger conflict.

So, instead, they went after Delia's help.

The Goddess of the Eternal Flame granted all the families a safe trip to Earthrealm. And to praise the Bunnags for their courage, she crafted a pair of blades and blessed them in her flames.

THAILAND VIGILANTES:

Once safe in Earthrealm, the Bunnags had decided they would never again turn a blind eye to the injustices surrounding them. Thailand was now their home, and they would make it a safer and just place!

That resulted in them becoming something akin to vigilantes. Urban legends even. No one really knew their identities, but the locals were certain every generation had their very own vigilante, and soon, Suchin would become her generation's!

But before she could take over the tittle that currently belonged to her mother, Suchin wanted to learn more about her family's mysterious heritage (her parents and grandparents were far too vague about that, and she strongly believed knowing her roots would make her a better warrior, a better protector for Thailand!

So she made sure to gather the attention of the Umgadi and grant herself a place among them. She would be trained and in the meantime, learn about her roots and about that mysterious hooded figure her family seems to worship...

Said and done! Suchin was recruited by the Umgadi and trained for years with a selected group (Tanya, Jade and Harumi). Her instructor, Li Mei, made sure to tell her everything she knew about Delia and Seido (she didn't know the specifics of what happened between the Bunnags and Seido, but she could guess, and did advise Suchin to remain within Sun Do, where she would be welcomed and more importantly, protected)

YIELDING THE BLESSED BLADES:

After her training years were over, Suchin returned to Earthrealm and took over her mother's place so the later could finally retire.

Suchin became an outstanding vigilante. And her notable job started to call attention of some evil forces outside Thailand.

The Black Dragon, the Red Dragon and the Yakusa, all wanted a piece of her!

Her fight with this groups led her to travel all over the globe, and eventually, get to Japan, where the Yakusa already had a price for her head, and to handle such talented swordswoman, the evil organisations sent their most talented swordsman: Kenshi Takahashi!

THE REDEMPTION:

By the time Kenshi was assigned to the task of killing Suchin, he was already starting to question his place within the Yakusa.

He wasn't loud about it. In reality, no one could really even tell he was having any sort of second thoughts.

That is... until Suchin.

She could tell by his fighting alone. He was a skilled fighter, that was not doubt about that. But his head was just not there!

Which was why Suchin decided to spare his life once she had defeated him, "Face me again." She challenged him, "Once you had decided who's your real opponent."

He was sent again, and again he hesitated. Then again and again. Each time less motivated. Each time more confused and torn up.

Suchin was growing impatient. "If you're not going to give me a real fight, at least offer me dinner or something. Fighting you exhausts me!"

He vanished instead.

Only a week later, he reappeared and offered to pay her coffee and pancakes with syrup.

"Coffee and pancakes? Ha! Who would've thought the Yakusa would be such cheapskates!" She teased, but accepted the invitation anyways (a good choice, as the pancakes were phenomenal!)

Good pancakes made up for the long hours of Kenshi just venting about his problems.

One thing he said truly resonated with her, "I feel like I'm not on the right place. I feel like I'm betraying myself, betraying... my very blood! Does that make sense??"

And yes! It did make sense! That's exactly how her family felt in Seido. That feeling of unease and self-betrayal, of self-loathing was precisely what led them to flee their hometown and start all over, reconnecting with who they truly were, away from any external oppresive influences.

So to help Kenshi, she shared with him the story of her family (something she had only done with her teacher and her close Umgadi friends).

She advised him to find his roots, so he would find himself in the process and fully understand who he wanted to be from that moment on.

"You're right." He said in a rather monotone way, but Suchin could tell he was having an epiphany inside his head. Which was confirmed by his sudden movements, he got up at once, kissed her cheek and left with only a rushed announcement: "I must go to Hollywood! Right at this moment!"

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Sorry I took your ask as an opportunity to brainstorm a bit more about Suchin, I hope you had enjoyed my headcanons still (including the one you actually came here for, lol)❤️❤️

@mikka-minns

[borntoraisekittys]

I feel like the new bettlejuice films suffered with having too many new characters with little to flesh it out.

(spoilers and thoughts under the cut)

Most of the scenes of Delores were just of Monica Bellucci looking beautiful but didn't really further the plot. For example the dry cleaners scene where she gets a new dress didn't really serve any purpose(she looked beautiful though) and the scene where she staples herself back together lingered long enough that it was more like Tim Burton was making a fancam of his girlfriend - which fair enough. If you're dating Monica Bellucci like she is gorgeous but they could've done alot more with her character. For a big bad she didn't get to do much or really serve as a threat to any main character.

Willem Defoe's character was fun! I enjoyed him. At least he was pretty fleshed out but again didn't get to do much.

Justin therouxs character was also there. It's easy to make a money motivated sleazeball unlikable and make him a more new age PC version of beetlejuice. but I at least found it interesting that Delia (Catherine O'Hara's character) and Astrid (Jenna Ortega) both seemed to dislike him but I wish perhaps we got to see those two try and do more to stop the wedding.

Jeremy.

Alot to say about Jeremy.

Jenna Ortega characters can never have a character who doesn't kiss a small town boy who turns out to be a murderer/monster.

He had more of a role in moving the plot along by manipulating Astrid into getting his life back- although I thought they were going to go the marriage route with that (again like the original film) since her costume looked like a silver version of the red wedding dress (many thoughts on the Marie curie as french instead of being polish but that's another thing). Instead of that though he just tricks her into signing her life away for his.

As a character he is the most interesting although not as visually interesting as the above characters. We know he apparently killed his parents with a table saw and a whisk(?) so evil although he also immediately ran to his childhood treehouse so motivations for that are unclear. His parents also seem to still like him, which again is weird since they've been living with their murderer for 23 years they seem fine with him. So what was his deal? Why come back to life and sacrifice Astrid?

He got way less screen time and development but pushed the plot forward for reasons seemingly unknown.

I did like Santiago Cabrera as Richard, the dead father of Astrid and ex-husband of Lydia we see in the final act. Good for Lydia to bag him like all in all just seems nice and just wanted to protect his daughter. He had very little time on screen but made the most of it and he made sense which is more than I can say for the others.

[swiftiephobe]

ok general thoughts: i really really like it!!!!! i've given it three full listens so far and i've enjoyed it more each time. i don't think it's much of a progression nor does it really bring anything super new to her discography but it does feel like a very refined/polished form of the pop sounds she's already explored. i'm not going to officially place it into my album ranking yet because i really need to wait and see how it settles. very very tentatively, it could maybe dethrone 1989 and take third spot (and best pop album spot) but that's a very very very early judgement. i also had lover in my top 3 a week after release so maybe you can understand my caution here asfhdhcjdjf

i do feel there was a bit of a bait-and-switch between the concept/visuals and the music which i think explains some of the initial negative reactions from some? especially since there was no single released there was a LOT of hype over what the album would sound like and the visuals being so 70s inspired but like... it's a straightforward pop album. i really really like it as i said but i can definitely understand why people are disappointed. i feel like if you're gonna leave that much mystery there has to be more of a pay off at the end than releasing songs that have the same dna as stuff you've released before. i also feel like more could've been done with the "midnights" concept in general, like it's there on some of the songs but the theme of "telling the story of 13 sleepless nights" doesn't really come through as strongly as i thought it would.

lyrics: it's a pop album so i wasn't expecting as much folklore/evermore "quill pen" lyricism. there's definitely a LOT more "glitter gel pen" lyrics but y'know she hasn't really been releasing those much in the past couple of years so i'll allow it!! i think overall the lyrics are good, they're a mixture of eloquent, detailed, vulnerable with a bit of cheek at the right moments too. that's not to say there aren't some clunkers on here but overall i think there aren't any songs that are diabolically bad lyrically which is great, and even some of the weaker songs lyrically make up for it in other ways

production: this has jack antonoff's style ALL over it and well i'm a slut for synths so i was always gonna like the production. if anything though it's a bit samey? don't get me wrong i prefer that to the total whiplash mess that was the lover tracklist, i definitely think midnights was a very pleasant listen all the way through and i can see it being an album i return to as a whole which is a win for me. however i do feel some of the songs are just kinda redundant and blend into each other. i'm sure the more i listen the more i will notice the little details that set them apart

anyway here's the track-by-track (under a cut because this post got LONG)

lavender haze: this is sooooo gorgeous, veeeeery sensual, this is probably one of the highlights for me. idk how i feel about it as an opening track; i feel like the "meet me at midnight" intro was definitely added on after she decided to make it the opener rather than it being an organic part of the song. but taking the song out of that context it's absolutely stunning

maroon: ahhh it IS like a grown-up version of red with the colour references. another one that's up the top for me, it's just so rich in imagery

anti-hero: mm there are things i like and things i don't. i really like when taylor properly self-reflects in her music and i do think it must be a really tricky thing to do knowing millions of people will be listening. however this kinda feels like it almost gets there but doesn't quite for me? like idk certain lyrics kinda feel like she's just mocking what people say about her which kinda takes away from what the song is meant to be. i'm kinda like "girlie you're soooo close" at certain points, there's just a certain level of sincerity lacking for me. absolutely love the lyric "i'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror" though. the bridge is great too. and despite some gripes about the lyrics the song is a certified bop

snow on the beach: she HAS to be trolling omg. i actually don't mind her backup vocal features but why hype up the lana feature just for lana to barely be present at all. i actually don't love the song either which is a shame because i love both taylor and lana as musicians :/ idk it's just kinda meh for me. also this song did not need to be explicit LMAO like there are a few of taylor's songs with swearing i feel is shoehorned in but i think this is particularly egregious

you're on your own kid: i think she's singing about her childhood/start of her career here???? at least at the start, the song as a whole is basically an autobiography. i honestly wasn't expecting that but i kinda love it, it feels really different from what she's sung about before and feels so vulnerable and honest (what anti-hero wishes it could be!), for sure a worthy track 5 which makes me happy because the title had me a bit dubious

midnight rain: some interesting production choices here... i can't really work out who she's singing about and i'm curious. i'm probably just oblivious

question...?: the eccentric title was not necessary ashfhsjfjskf this is not as experimental as i thought it might be. again i want to know who/what she's singing about??!?! both this and midnight rain just kinda come and go for me, like they're solid mid-tier in this album, good but not standouts

vigilante shit: ok this is one i was anticipating to not like as much based on the title and yeah. this is down the bottom for me, it's a bit corny. i think the story in the song is fiction/fantasy (definitely feels like taylor cosplaying as... something) but if it's real i want to know the tea

bejeweled: i do really like how vigilante shit flows into this song, they almost feel like they're a pair that go together. i also like it better than vigilante shit even though i keep hearing her say "hoe" in the chorus which is a bit of a scream (ik she's not i just keep hearing it!). add this to the list of "who the hell is she singing about" songs

labyrinth: the epiphany vibes!!!!!!!!! we won!!!!!!!! i love how this is a bit different from the other songs sonically, it's more of a slow burn. i think this is going to be a grower for a lot of people and one of those underground favourites that doesn't really get discussed much but has devoted fans nonetheless

karma: nahhhhh idc this is so fun. this song is gonna get dragged but i am going to be a karma apologist! karma IS a cat and it's purring in my lap. the girls who get it get it and the girls who don't don't

sweet nothing: this is a bit cutesy but y'know good for them!!! i like the instrumentation it's very sweet, this is the most stripped-back song i think so it'll probably just be more of a grower

mastermind: this was probably the song i was most curious about because it's a closing track and closing tracks always slap and "mastermind" was an intriguing title so i was like hmmm how is it gonna wrap up the album??! and i like it! i really love the production and how it builds and i think it does round out the album really well. the general themes explored and directions the album goes in are nicely brought together here which is exactly what i want from a closing track!

[headshaker]

KEEPING LXC IN THE DARK.

This is a polished version of a post I wrote in the past. That one was stream of consciousness, so I wanted to spruce it up a bit. Like it says on the tin, it covers why, in my opinion, Huaisang kept Xichen in the dark.

AS WITH MOST MATTERS CONCERNING Huaisang, the answer comes not from observing him but from observing those around him. More specifically, it comes from examining the Yi City arc. The comparison is by no means perfect, but you could read those events as a thematic parallel for 3zun. XY is JGY, XXC is LXC, and SL is NMJ. That naturally means a-Qing is NHS. Again, the comparison isn't perfect. Just stick with me.

The key comparison here hides in XXC's death. He lived for years blissfully unaware of who XY was. This was helped by XXC being, literally, blind. A-Qing, who was only pretending to be blind, discovered the truth. Now a-Qing had a choice. She could've continued pretending to be blind. She could've fled to save herself, leaving XXC behind. She certainly didn't have the strength to take on XY.

But, she couldn't abandon XXC. He'd been kind to her, protected her, taken care of her, been like a brother to her. She made the decision to tell him the truth and plead with him to flee. But, XXC couldn't. Once he knew the truth, he couldn't turn away, even if the situation was heartbreaking. He died because he couldn't abandon his morals, and a-Qing died because she couldn't abandon XXC.

If we look at Huaisang and Xichen through this lens, it means Huaisang kept him in the dark not from lack of trust but from an abundance of love. Xichen had been a brother to him all his life, had always protected him. Now it was Huaisang's turn to do the same. Perhaps he had a moment of paranoia where he wondered whether Xichen had been complicit in Mingjue's death, but if there was, it was clearly put to rest. Huaisang has sought no vengeance against Xichen or the Gu.su Lan. He doesn't seem to want Xichen to become collateral damage either.

In fact, what little we see indicates protection over manipulation. He exhausted absolutely every other avenue before going to Xichen, including raising the dead. At the banquet, he dragged Xichen away from the main plot investigation and kept him occupied the longest. In the temple, he should've immediately doubled down when Xichen questioned him, but he faltered — and it was that moment that brought him under suspicion.

The odds of Xichen doing something must've scared Huaisang more than the odds of him doing nothing. He wasn't even really afraid that Xichen would ruin his plans — at least, not solely afraid. Rather he feared that Xichen would do the right thing. That he would be righteous, confront their brother, and end up dead just like Mingjue. Clearly, no line was uncrossable.

So, Huaisang made the choice a-Qing didn't. He pretended to be blind. He kept the wool over Xichen's eyes. He continued to play family. He swallowed his heart, allowed his sect to decline, sacrificed whatever morals he had, and took great risks to accomplish his goals without involving Xichen. Along the way, vengeance became more important than justice, and having it done exactly as he'd dreamed for over a decade became more important than protecting the only brother he had left. When it came down to killing a-Yao or keeping Xichen's hands clean, we know what he ultimately chose.

[lesser-mook]

Angel Cop (sloppy, well-polished mess that deserved more time to get it done)

I'll keep it simple (SPOILERS btw, Idgaf). Watch it because it's well animated, R-Rated Retro OVA. Articulate gore, tits, the works. All the shit that makes Ecchi genre look like a loser's genre. 

But I do not recommend it because it's good, at all, writing-wise. Mainly cause of pacing. 

This one's a mixed bag, the story itself is fine, the execution is literally blasted at you at SMG speed.

The plot has terrorism, communist global rule, conspiracy, a lot of themes that are a little too relevant to today's direction of the world,  destablization of country through misdirection, very eerie/scary parallels almost as if this anime in it's own way was it's own propaganda. Wouldn't be the first time. 

So that got my interest immediately.

But by itself, the OVA should've been a 13 episode series. Not 25 but less than 15.

OR? 6 episides but 50 min-an hour a piece. Like The Walking Dead.

Just like (Giant Robo The animation), this is also jam packed with good ideas crammed into a very very VERY tight window. So much lore that deserves more breathing room and respect.

But At least with GR, it had a lot of time to say what it wanted to say.

Angel as a protagonist is the weakest part of the show. She has this moral compromise where she's willing to shoot kids if it means getting to the criminal, uncaring about the people around her until she suddenly cares, and she's never made to confront or develop from her flaws organically. She literally stays the same, and the only thing she shifts on is she "cares" about one character whom she had little to no connection with. Knew him for less than half-a day.

As for said character, HE'S more interesting than she is. Injured cop turned Cyborg, basically Robocop just better in everyway, he's the reason for the finale's outcome. MVP Raiden.

The other characters (Kuwata, Taki, Hacker, Peace *better lady character*) could've been so much more- enjoyable cast while it lasted. But they weren't there long enough for me to connect with them before shit went down, at least a backstory on them, nothing. 

Pacing was too damn fast. Thus good ideas get rushed.

Animation is fucking great, this is almost Akira/Roujin Z level shit.

The antagonist, has background but only in heresay, we see nothing of their backstory. And Lucifer is actually one of the most tenacious, badass, evil ass baddies I've seen in an OVA. She makes All For One look like a bitch sometimes ngl. 

Best way I can describe this is as Akira x Ghost In The Shell x Robocop: Jam packed full of potential. Should've been in a better fleshed out series.

It was too rushed, mainly the plot's pacing thus the characters by proxy, good & bad guys, because it was worth more and given a small window to present the material in the best way possible.

Yeah we got stellar animation because of the small window, but was that worth a sloppy execution? No. It wasn't. 

What this OVA read like: was a TL;DR of a more fleshed out show.

We don't even get to see what happens to Angel post-event, the show gets a vague af narration after an explosion, and then it just fucking ends. What? What about the rest of the sponsors??? Certainly the organization didn't end with just those 2 idiots? That's not how cabals work lmfao.

Just like that. So sloppy, like it was RACING for the end credits. What the fuck was the rush?

I have no issue with bitter-sweet endings, I'm one of those people that love The Mist' ending but this was just clunky from beginning to end.

And again, the namesake of the show, Angel, was the weakest character. She's actually a piece of shit sometimes, and she doesn't develop. 

Would've gotten a 5 or 6, just on animation, but the frames can do but so much when the subatance is hollow as shit. When I don't care because I WANT TO CARE but there's nothing to care about because the show doesn't care enough to explore anything-- fuck the animation at that point.

You want a better version of this? Just watch (Stand Alone Complex Season 2) or Psycho Pass S1+Movie 

[dzpenumbra]

12/13/22

Today has been a bit tricky. I noticed that Max's hyperthyroid meds were running very low last night. It's a twist applicator and it has stickers all over it, so it's like... impossible to see what level the ointment is at, and I don't know how to even eyeball the amount. And --- I'm getting frantic. I'm afraid that she's going to run out of meds. I probably wrote about this last night. I ordered overnight delivery, the pharmacy says it shipped and I did 1 day delivery, like I shelled out $30 for that shit... But I can't see tracking info, it just gives me an error. I'm just flying by the seat of my pants here, I am praying it gets here tomorrow before 1PM, or that I even have enough meds for tonight - let alone tomorrow morning, too.

It's the not knowing that gets me. And kicking myself. "I can't believe I didn't think to refill this sooner." "How did I not notice?" "I'm a bad pet parent." "She's going to have to be in physical pain, possibly get more sick, because of my inability to manage my life."

I have no idea why I am so afraid of the criticism of others, no one could kick my ass a fraction as bad as I kick my own ass every day. I don't think anyone has even come close. Like... when people try to make fun of me or mock me or criticize me... I'm not even exaggerating, it sounds comical. It sounds like a Kidz Bop version of an insult. Because inside my head... inside my head is an improv stand-up comedian who's been doing crowd-work in my head for over 30 years. Who knows all the ins and outs of my personality, every weak point, every insecurity, every chink in the armor to slip that dagger in. He rolls nat 20s in his fuckin sleep. So seriously, I have no idea why I give a shit about the superficial, juvenile judgements of outsiders when I have this demon to deal with.

Maybe that's why isolation is so hard for me. It's not being by myself, that's never been an issue, I kinda prefer it in a lot of ways. It's being stuck with that motherfucker. Having the only critique of my work being: "Welp, you just sank like 2-3 hours into polishing this piece of cool green mineral and... your dumb ass decided to use purple Sharpie to mark bevel lines. Purple. Remember color theory? Remember how that's a complimentary color? Like the highest contrast, most out-of-place color you could use? Yeah, did you... um... think to check if the mineral was porous or not? Nope, of course not, why would we do that... Now your hours and hours of work have resulted in a beautiful green mirror-surfaced mineral with big purple splotches soaked into it. Way to piss the day away dude, you could've done wood carving, you could've worked on that weird goat skull project, you could've drawn on your tablet. Now your arm is completely worn out. Way to go. <slow clap>"

When that's the only feedback you get on your work... How long can you keep going?

But with something like this, like caring for a loved one, like medical stuff, executive functioning stuff, life stuff. It's just whole other ball game. And I just feel like a complete sack of shit. Like how the fuck... Okay, you know what, I'm going to give the real second half to that sentence. Not "how the fuck do I keep fucking up so bad." Nope. It's "how the fuck do people keep track of all this shit?" "How do 'normal' people function?" It legit blows my mind, probably the same way it blows their mind that I can draw the way I can. I just can't keep up, I can't keep track of all this stuff. It took me like an hour to just figure out what the hell I was doing for dinner, and I was trying to do something easy. I tried to do Grubhub and just kept getting distracted, then I couldn't make up my mind, then the clock was ticking and I had to order before a specific time, then I think about how expensive this is getting and rabbit-hole on that for a while. Then eventually I'm just like "fuck it, I'm just making ramen, this is dumb." After like an hour of not being able to find anything appealing. It's obnoxious and it's like... every fucking day.

Can you tell I'm stressed out? XD

So... my cat's fate on this is really in the hands of the delivery people. This needs to be an act of faith. I did my best here. And I --- okay, you know what, I'm telling the story.

I used to be on Lamictal. I was on a bunch of different meds, one was some fucking anti-psychotic med they give to people in retirement homes (I was told after I got off it) that I was taking for the side-effects to help me sleep... yeah... Not even gonna tangent on that one, I'm sure you can go on your own personal journey of medical outrage. And I was on a titanic dose of Xanax just for daily functioning. If you want to call it that... All this from a psychiatrist who wore more makeup than any person I've met in my whole life. I was neurotic about my meds. I had the fear of God put in me with a bunch of side-effect scares - serotonin syndrome being one of the biggest, but not the only one. After not being able to move my eyes without vomiting for hours, trauma ground the lesson in my head that you do. not. fuck. with. meds. You take them on time. You do not miss doses. The side effects can be life-threatening, and you don't know how bad it is for you personally until you're there. So... what happened?

I forgot to get my prescription refilled. And it was a Sunday afternoon. I remember it clear as day, it was a cloudy afternoon, it looked like a storm was rolling in from the South. It was summer of 2019, probably around... May or June. It was like 4 in the afternoon, that was when my med time was and I just flat-out did not notice that I need a refill until I opened my med container thing and there was nothing there. I fucking lost my shit. I called every pharmacy I could find, nothing was open. I called places up to like 45 minutes away. I was driving around town while calling these places, saying "I'm in my car right now, I can be there in X minutes." Nothing, no one could help me. I panicked so much, I shit you not, I went to the police station. God, this is so embarrassing, but like... when you don't have any friends and no one picks up the phone, and no professional will help you... and you're afraid for your life... what do you do? I panicked. Maybe I should've gone to the hospital? Nearest one was 40 minutes away. Anyway, they didn't know how to help me either. No duh there, I guess. So eventually I just was out of options and I went home. This part of the story feels weird to tell because... well... in the past, it might have gotten someone into trouble. At least that's what he thought, I disagree, but whatever. I called up an old friend of mine that I recently reconnected with briefly. He mentioned he was on Lamictal at one point, we connected on that. I... asked him if he could spot me one so I didn't go into withdrawal. And, because he worked at a mental health facility (as a like... handyman, but still...) he was unsure if that would be okay. Like... it was weird, and he was afraid he'd get fired for it if anyone found out. He hasn't worked there in a few years so I feel okay telling this now, and it's not like I'm naming him or anything. See how fucking paranoid we all have to be nowadays?! This isn't even a controlled substance!!! Like I really don't think you can abuse Lamictal... But yeah, he bailed me out with one dose so I didn't freak out. And I guess that was like... one of the biggest friend moments I've ever had. Though I wish we could've been less afraid of the cops showing up or some shit. It's so stupid looking back at it, like... all of it. But, this is a big one for me.

So, I'm dealing with a similar story with my cat now... At least, it feels the same. Where, despite my best efforts, I have managed to overlook med details, forget to keep up with them, and I'm praying to any deity that will listen for her to not have to go an extended period of time without the med in her system. But it hits different. See, when it was me... it was fear of mortality, fear of death. With her? It's fear of guilt, of having to live a life with that blood on my hands. In my fucked up imagination, she's already dead from thyroid imbalances somehow cascading and leading to organ failure. And it's all my fault. And I have to live with that survivor's guilt for the rest of my life. Dark as fuck, right?

See, that's why I don't like isolation. I don't have anyone else in the world to say, "Hey, look, it's probably not as bad as you think. Let's do some research on this." So I can feel my feelings fully, which all stem in intensity from how much I care about her, and not deny or suppress them. But also make informed, logical decisions. God fucking damn is it hard to do both at the same time. And I see so many people take this insanely valuable asset - another human perspective, emotional grounding, compassion, comfort, reassurance, support, stuff like that - for granted. It's the piece that's missing for me right now, and I really don't know where to go to find it. I mean that. Instagram? Feels weird. Here? How? Dating apps? Feels even weirder, somehow. At this point in the list... I just start getting really depressed and resign to my current situation.

I wrote to my social worker today. I told him about the ADHD stuff. I tried to keep it brief and ended up writing at least a full page, it's hard to really gauge how much I write in a digital format, I guess that's why they're switching from "pages" to "minutes" as a way of telling how long a read things are nowadays. I'll see how he responds.

I'm afraid I'm just... too fucked up. I struggle with too many things, and I have for too long. The system doesn't seem to be designed to help people like me, I guess. Like... it's supposed to be like a social support system, social services, right? But everyone I talk to just gives me tips on positive self-talk, how to set healthy boundaries with people and encourages me to exercise and meditate. All of which I work on, and none of which are fixing the massive gaping holes in my life like... I've been living out of piles of cardboard boxes for like 6 years. It takes about a week for me to lose my structure and my dishes pile up to the ceiling. I build up my self-confidence into a freight train of motivation, then go to a job interview, feel like I did a great fucking job and then... it goes nowhere. Rarely even a call-back. Same for applications, I write this legendary cover letter, something heartfelt, conversational, personal, real. And I don't even get a fucking "sorry, we're not interested." And I try to set up my own businesses, and somehow... no one can help me with... any of them? Like... at all? It's fucking weird, it's like I'm radioactive. Naw. It's like I'm cursed. It's like I was hexed by the Witch of the Woods and everyone got the memo like 10 minutes before I showed up, so they hide the memo behind their backs and go "hey, _____, nice to meet you!" With a big fake smile that my naïve and insanely emotionally overwhelmed ass reads as completely legit, and then they nod and smile as I do my best to confidently, honestly stroll through the interview. Meanwhile they're checking the clock the whole time, because they made up their mind before I walked in the door.

I feel like no one. Not my family, not my friends, not therapists, not mentors, not potential employers, not potential business partners. No one wants to take a chance on me. And I don't know why. Maybe it's because I have too much to say? Maybe my constantly racing mind is too overwhelming for them? Maybe it's my strong emotions? Maybe they're intimidated by me? I have no idea, this is all 100% speculation.

Can you tell I'm depressed? XD

So yeah, I don't have huge hopes that he will be able to support me in the way I need it. And, despite browsing two dating apps every morning, I feel like if I were to date someone, I would seriously just be giving them a big list of chores. Like... dating me would be a job. Make sure he doesn't forget that the daily alert to start his sleep routine went off in his pocket, but he got distracted and wandered off to dig through a random box for something he hasn't used in 4 years. Make sure he's actually eaten food and drank water today. It's 2AM, tell him to go to bed. I would do these things for a girlfriend in a heartbeat. I mean that sincerely, and I have. I've actually been denied the ability to do that by my ex, due to her pride, and it made me feel like I wasn't allowed to be a good boyfriend. And it sucked. I know how much these and other gestures mean, especially to people like me. Like... it's life-changing. But it still feels like a tall order.

So yeah, difficult day. But I sanded down an agate today - it's really pretty, pink and purple and white - the best I could until my arm wore out, then I played Rimworld, smoked a tiny tiny bit and took a shower, then worked on sanding another piece of that green stuff, I still don't know what it is, I think it's fluorite but it's very grainy and opaque. And I worked on a small triangular piece of reddish... I'm guessing sandstone or something, it was very easy to polish, much more pleasant to work with. And here I am.

I'm gonna dig up a midnight snack. I guess this brain dump was helpful, I don't know, this kinda just felt like my depression jacking off. Like... I'm very conflicted on this. I have a lot of deep gut instincts that have been telling me for a long time that the solution to most of my problems would be to get in a healthy relationship with someone where I can help them in ways that they lack, and they can help me with the things that I struggle with. And every time I float this idea, people look at me like I have 40 heads. Like I should have 20 friends before I even start looking for a girlfriend. Well... who is going to go out and meet people with me?

I have always been the tag-along. Any time I moved, it was because I had a friend there. Any time I went to an event or a party or... anything, really... it was because someone I knew was there. I have always functioned atrociously when I don't have someone else there.

Someone was being really loud in the hallway and decided of all walls to bang against... to do it on mine... Made me jump. Still not used to being in close proximity to other humans. Maybe I don't function atrociously when I'm alone. I function differently. I don't think in social-mode. Because the majority of my experience on a daily level is... internal. It's in my head. It's not interactive. I shift purely into introspective mode. Where, when I'm in regular social interactions, I have outside stimuli to pull me out of my head. When that's absent, I have a tendency to go through gigantic creative growth spurts... I fucking wonder why... but also, all the shit you're seeing here tonight, that runs rampant. Like a cartoon of Halloween or some shit, all my demons and depressions and anxieties and panics and inner-critiques and all that shit are just swooping around and divebombing poor me as I'm just trying to go throughout my day. I think it's a BIG reason why people like me tend to impulsively just jump from relationship to relationship, without even noticing it, without even thinking about it. To avoid that. The alone scaries. Being stuck with their own thoughts. Alone.

So yeah, good night! Sleep tight! XD

I try so hard to end on a good note with these things, or at least a mic drop or something, but yeah. Fuck it. Today is just a weird one. Fingers crossed I get some good sleep, and here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

[carelesscreativity]

BlueKiller Bone-Peeling For Mocha: Commission For Ko-Fi

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

(SFW, Gore, Blood, Angst)

The dungeon door made a loud, creaking noise that echoed through the damp hallways. It was more of a warning noise than it was annoying and for that reason alone, Nightmare never fixed it. Killer rather appreciated the fact, able to hear how the dungeon's only living occupant stopped breathing for a few moments whenever he heard it, seeming desperate that it was one of his friends, come to save him. That bit of hope this one seemed to hold with him tore Killer up inside. His soul gave a violent spasm, igniting the corridors in red light as he made his way through, spinning a butterfly knife in his fingers.

His real knife had yet to be summoned, but the clicking of the butterfly knife gave more than a little warning to their prisoner of who was coming to see him. Killer turned the corner and grinned, slamming the butterfly knife shut with a painful-sounding clack. Those eyelights changed from blue to white in an instant, Blue immediately pushing himself back against the wall. He was chained by his wrists and ankles, unable to summon attacks or any form of magic. Killer could've started with the goading. How a real Royal Guard wouldn't have let himself be captured so easily, but that wasn't why he was down here.

He wasn't like Nightmare, who wanted his fear. Killer wanted his pain. Blue was notoriously known for his cheerfulness through injury, smiling through several broken ribs or a caved in skull. Killer wanted to see him cry. He put away his butterfly knife before summoning the other one, the blade and handle polished to a steady shine. Blue opened his mouth as Killer unlocked the cell door, moving inside. Killer didn't even let him get a word out. "You're the one that likes being the hero, right? Saving people?" Killer murmured as he turned and moved over, kneeling in front of him.

Blue didn't seem to know how to react for a moment, furrowing his brow. He'd learned quickly not to just answer questions without thinking, or without permission, for that matter. Killer hummed, rocking back on his heels. "You can answer." He said quietly, his empty sockets meeting Blue's uncertain ones.

"I... like saving people. I don't know about being the hero. I just want to help people." Blue answered after a moment. Killer made a small noise of acknowledgement. After a few moments, Blue spoke again. "H-How can I help you, K-Killer?" The question was shaky. "I may not... be able to save you... You may not want to be saved. But could I help?" It was clear this was the longest any of the Bad Guys had let him speak so far. Killer hummed and the tip of his knife ghosted over Blue's boot.

"I... appreciate the backtrack on the 'saving' part. You're right. I don't want to be saved." Killer said quietly. "But there aren't very many ways to help me, y'know?" He reached out and grabbed Blue's arm, holding it in a forcibly tight grip before holding the knife in his teeth by the handle and started to undo the straps keeping the gloves he was wearing on. Blue seemed more confused than frightened as he watched him. Killer finally tugged the glove off, it proving to be a bit of a challenge with the cuff, but he'd done it nonetheless. He took the knife from his mouth, holding it in his other hand as he studied Blue's bare arm. "What falls under helping? Is it physically, emotionally, mentally helping...?"

"A-Any. Or all, if I can." Blue said, seeming confused and alarmed. "But I'm not sure how I could help you, I'm sorry." He gave a weak, uncertain smile and Killer's soul spasmed violently at the sight of it. He hated it. He had the same problem as Dust and that this Sans reminded him too much of Papyrus. At least Dust had some twisted, skewered version of him that he could escape and hallucinate with all the time, but hallucinations were a rare gift for Killer. This Sans, meant to mimic his brother in undying hope and a need to help... He hated him. He didn't let it show too much, resolving himself to a soft huff. He sighed and moved, pinning Blue's feet to the floor with his knees and making the other let out a weak hiss. "K-Killer?"

"I think... I might need some help mentally. Or emotionally. It's difficult for me to tell the two apart." Killer took Blue's ungloved hand, interlocking their fingers for a moment and taking note of just how much cleaner and unscarred the other's hand was. "I keep... needing things... Wanting things that I can't have. That are out of my reach. Like... my world. My family. My friends. Everything that you have." Blue's eyes widened and Killer shook his head. "I'm not asking you to give me that. I'm just saying."

Killer's magic took hold of Blue's bandanna and it suddenly stuffed its way into his mouth. He made a startled, muffled noise, looking up at Killer. Killer watched him back with empty sockets before taking Blue's arm and holding it out in front of him. He let out another hum before raising his knife and watching as Blue's eyelights went small and pale in shock. The first drag across his arm didn't get that much noise out of him, but it did scrape off a good layer of dust. Killer furrowed his brow, angling the side of the knife down and digging it in.

He pushed it through the bone with some difficulty, but it did give him the result he was looking for. Accompanied with Blue's muffled scream, there was a layer of bone that had peeled off like he was carving a wax statue. Underneath the white, the bone seemed to turn a faint blue color. Blue's whole body was shaking, but Killer didn't pay it any mind. The piece of peeled bone dropped to the ground and exploded into a mess of dust. Killer positioned his knife again, another scream accompanying another smooth push with vague cracking. This piece revealed an even darker shade of blue.

Killer found it fascinating as he let the piece drop. His eyes drifted up to Blue's face. He paused for a moment. There was pain in the other's eyes and he was letting out muffled screams of pain, but... there were no tears yet. The one thing Killer was looking for. He gave a small noise of acknowledgment before returning to his task. He stared at the open carving, wondering how blue the inside was going to get. He could already see the layers of the bone, starting at white and ending up at the sky blue color he'd reached. When would he reach marrow? He stroked his pointer finger straight down the open wound and Blue's feet jerked under where his knees were pinning them as he made a desperate, pleading noise.

Killer dug his knife in again. When he reached the center of the slice, there was a vicious crack and his hand suddenly became wet. He had broken into the hollow center that held the liquid magic. The magic itself was a dark, royal blue as opposed to the light blue his eyelights usually cast. It was an odd contrast and Killer tipped his head. Blue's other hand was digging into Killer's hoodie so hard that it was almost tearing it. It had taken Killer until now to realize, having been far too fascinated in his own activity. He set the knife aside and ran his thumb along the opening, it pulling a scream that he'd never heard from Blue before.

He glanced up and paused. There. There they were. He reached out with the same hand, Blue's own blood magic staining his face as Killer wiped away his periwinkle tears. He was letting out muffled hiccups and Killer unceremoniously dropped his damaged arm, Blue flinching and letting out a choked scream. Killer tugged the bandanna out of his mouth, Blue pulling in shaking breaths. "I thought it would take a little longer than that to see you cry. I guess I've gotten a little rusty." Killer sounded extremely disappointed and Blue sputtered weakly before flinching as the other held up his stained hand. "No, no, I'm not mad at you. I'm just a little annoyed with myself."

He reached out and poked the wound with the tip of his knife, Blue's shriek echoing through the cold, damp corridors for a moment. "Makes me wonder. We're all the same, so maybe we're all layered like this. I kind of wish we'd captured Ink so I could test it now." Blue whispered something and Killer blinked, turning to him. "What?"

"Please... don't test it on yourself." Blue whispered weakly. Killer stared at him for a moment. "I don't care if you keep doing it to me, b-but I'm asking that you don't turn the knife on yourself." Killer's soul spasmed again and he glanced down at the blue-slicked blade. Was that really what Blue was concerned about? Not his so-called artist friend who could've had a layer of every color under the sun? He furrowed his brow. "That's all I ask."

"That's all you ask?" Killer repeated with a suddenness that seemed to scare Blue. He met his gaze again and Blue nodded. Killer didn't say anything for a moment before nodding. "If that's all you ask in a situation as horrible for you as this, I won't deny it. A form of mercy in exchange for letting me see what's really on the inside." He poked at the open wound again. Blue seemed a little relieved by his words, even if he let out a weak shriek at the poke again. Killer didn't even bother to tell him that the thought hadn't even crossed his mind until he said something. They sat in silence for a few more moments before Killer spoke. "Blue."

"Y-Yes?" Blue's voice was weak and shaking. Killer hummed, picking up the knife and messily wiping it on his jacket. He traced the blade over the side of Blue's skull.

"Maybe you can help me." He tipped his head and Blue squeezed his eyes shut as he spoke. "You can help me discover just how many layers of blue you are."

[designatedbreadbox]

Political One-Shot(?)

This was what I had in mind for a story prompt I had. However, the story wasn't workin' for me so I scrapped it. Nothing will come before or after this, so this has no context.

Word count: 726

Your throat felt warm as you bursted out the doors from the meeting room. A clamor of reporters, leaders, and your fellow demons were promptly shut out as the heavy doors closed. The heels from your dress shoes clicked rapidly against the newly polished floor; no certain direction in mind, you were just walking. Walking to anywhere that wasn't the meeting room. Your throat burned in angry, and sensing the magic that was humming softly from the pact mark, you knew Satan could feel a phantom version of your anger as well.

Your eyebrows furrowed even further and your nose became a little more wrinkled the longer you thought about your mistake. You knew you fucked up when you gave an honest answer when the president of France asked: "What are some of the dangers in this, 'Devildom'? Have you ever felt unsafe there?"

They were all expecting an answer. An honest one at that! Lucifer gave you a discreet look when you replied, but at the same time, he understood. He would've done the same thing, and he knew it.

You were halted suddenly by a gaurd. He motioned for you to not continue further and led you to another room. It wasn't small, but it was still spacious. He exited the room shortly.

The anger you still had in you was beginning to dwindle down. You sat on one of the couches, feeling the stiff fabric fold slightly under your weight. Barely any time had passed before the room was kicked open by Mammon. Mammon walked in along with the rest of the brothers.

"MC!" He shouted. "What was that back there in the meetin' room?"

Levi butted in. "Yea! I know there wasn't many dialogue options, but that kinda painted us in bad light."

Asmo noticed your frowning. "Ah, sweetie! Don't frown! You'll get wrinkles that way!"

Your frown deepened; their voices were annoying. Mammon was just a little too loud, Levi was a little too condenscending, and Asmo was just a little too high-pitch. You wanted them to shut up; you did the best you could! It wasn't your fault!

The 4th born had signs of annoyance on his face while Belphie was trying to stop Beel from eating a painting.

Lucifer spoke up this time. "Tsk. I understand you were in a tight situation, MC, but you could've left a few things out. For their sake, of course."

'For their sake'? Ha! What a ridiculous idea! An idea so stupid you couldn't help but mentally bark a laugh! The Avatar of Pride, asking you to leave out details?

'For their sake'?

'Their'?

"Shut the fuck up, Lucifer." You growled.

The room now felt as cold and as silent like a grave. No one could believe their ears.

"..Excuse me? MC, do you realize what you've done?"

"I do; and I don't regret a second of it."

Lucifer sharply inhaled.

"MC. I advise you bite back those words. All I did, was merely suggest you say something else that-"

You stood up now, invading his personal space and had a look that refused to back down. He saw a look of fiery anger he never saw in you before.

"SAY WHAT LUCIFER? WHAT EXACTLY SHOULD I HAVE SAID? THEY ASKED SPECIFICALLY FOR ANY THREATS I ENCOUNTERED IN THE DEVILDOM, AND I GAVE IT! WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY?"

A quick glance before continuing.

"SHOULD I HAVE SAID THAT YOU ALMOST KILLED ME ON 3 SEPERATE OCCASIONS? THAT THE REASON ALL 3 FAILED WAS BECAUSE IN ONE, DIAVOLO WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU AND THE OTHER 2 WAS FROM DIAVOLO'S INTERVENTION? SHOULD I HAVE SAID THAT LEVI ALMOST KILLED ME OVER A STUPID, FUCKING TSL QUIZ GAME? OR, EVEN BETTER, THAT BEEL ALMOST RIPPED MY HEAD OFF SINCE I WAS FORCED TO EAT HIS PUDDING?"

You took a step forward as he stepped back from the invasion of personal space.

"OR SPICE THINGS UP WITH SATAN! REMEMBER WHEN HE GOT SO~ ANGRY AT ME BECAUSE I REFUSED TO MAKE A PACT WITH HIM TO SPITE YOU? AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, WHAT ABOUT BELPHIE!? HE LITERALLY KILLED ME! DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY THAT INSTEAD, OR IS THAT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?"

Heavily breathing, you stormed out the room, hoping to come across Diavolo or Michael to take comfort in. You didn't bother looking back. Consequences be damned when this whole shit-show is over.

[icharchivist]

One thing I did notice is that they actually change around the portraits used for the lines. Like when Vane starts howling, his gacha SR uses his "angry" portrait (I guess because it's the only one with his mouth open), his SSR version uses the default expression and then Halloween alt uses that embarrassed/uncertain expression. It's a really neat attention to detail since they could've easily just made it the same across alts. It makes me wonder how it's done with other characters

oh!!! that's indeed such a neat attention to details :O

and it's pretty rare too, or more like, it depends on how many expression sprite an unit has (for exemple you won't see any facial difference in Light Percival's lines compared to his Fire one)

so it is even better that they are going the extra miles when they can!! that's so good.

tbh i kind of expected like.... sprites to be marked in a generic way to be programmed like "this screen asks for vane_water_angry" and so for the line for his wind they just do "this screen asks for vane_wind_angry", just need to change the unit but the expression being codded the same right?

but as you say, the difference between thsoe three units are far more subtle than that which really implies a lot more work behind the scene to make sure to revisit those scenes well... it's so nice. such a polished work with all of this aaaa

[seddm]

Despite how frustrating this show can be how would you rate the writing quality overall? What did it do right? What did it do wrong? What should've had more focus & what changes could've been made to make this show as close to a 10/10 as possible? I like these types of discussions. I know S4 isn't done but I'd like your thoughts on this before "Curse of The Blood Moon" breaks our hearts. I feel like subverting expectations even if it's bad is common these days & I don't trust the show after LHF.

I’m terrible at making “reviews” or commenting on how something should have gone, but I’m going to try: if I had to rate the show’s writing in a more or less objective way I’d give it a 7.5, probably.

The characters are incredibly solid, as are their arcs (with some exceptions, sadly Pony and Janna never really got any tangible amount of growth despite their screentime): the first problem most episodic series have with characters is backtracking, having characters undergo apparently important epiphanies in given episodes, just for their behavior to barely change, at least until another epiphany moment comes up, while SVTFOE for the most part (it’s not perfect obviously) never shied away from major changes of the status quo connected to major moments of growth for the characters, leading to visibly different behaviors while still keeping the same core personality (i.e. Star is still a person with a tendency to rush things and to ignore painful problems, but compared to her S2 self, her S3 and S4 version greatly toned down these problems, or managed to integrate them in a more mature personality: in Yada Yada Berries Star did rush into things without properly thinking about why someone would try to statueify Eclipsa, but she still followed a trail of leads in an ordered way). Also events never force the characters to grow when they aren’t ready, every major change is preceded by a number of episodes priming emotions and feelings for an epiphany.

The dialogues are for the most part very good, they feel natural and flow easily and never really feel like padding put there because the boarders didn’t know how to get to the segment runtime. 

Comedy is highly subjective: personally I think it improved a lot following S1 (at the time the delivery of the jokes was very hit or miss to me, and it missed more often than not while still managing to be at least endearing), and is on average good. Jokes are not as polished nor have perfect comedic timing as other shows like Gravity Falls, but it still manages to make me laugh.

Plot... that’s probably the weakest part. On paper it’s very interesting, with a lot of interconnected elements at play and a compelling lore, but the payoff often falls short of what could have been. The show shines when it exposes plots in “calmer” ways, such as Into the Wand or Butterfly Trap, but then it’s not as good when it comes to the climax, such as Toffee’s defeat or Meteora’s arc following Skooled. It’s far from being what I would describe as bad, but it’s probably the weakest part of the show, and that’s particularly noticeable in a show that has a somewhat long spanning story.

Romance. I have an incredible number of opinions about this and it’s hard to be objective or write them in an ordered way. To keep things short, I think the show is very good at handling the relationship between characters and romance, especially on account of the aforementioned “developments are never forced but happen when everyone is ready”, but especially in this last season there’s the risk of taking too long for everyone to be ready, dragging thing a bit in a more “sitcom tier” conventional usage of drama. “Teens are dumb” is a good reason for things to take some time, and the character are believably dumb, but I think that with the end of S3 they kind wrote themselves in a corner where they’d have had to immediately tackle and solve a number of love related issues at the very beginning of S4. Since that was impossible, because that’s not the show’s style and because there was plot to happen and a whole new arc for Star, who has to rule her own feelings, we got into a weird situation where things aren’t bad, nor they are properly dragging, but it doesn’t feel like the outstanding love story I considered the show to be until recently. By sidelining the characters’ self awareness about their feelings (with understandable in universe reason, sure) the overall quality of this part of the writing slide down a notch in my opinion. Or, better, it simply became more apparent that the series never really tried to diverge much from an extremely standard serialized TV love story, they just managed to distract me from that this long thanks to the excellent handling of the characters’ and their emotions - something that’s still true, and I hope I’ll be able to keep claiming this even after Curse of the Blood Moon and until the show is over. In a way this last part should put us at ease, further evidence that the show is rather standard in its approach and is not going for any kind of weird and twisted subversion, but at the same time it also fills me with dread because going “standard handling” all the way, even more than it’s currently doing, could spell the end of a huge portion of interest in the series for me, and many fans in the fandom I’m sure. Curse will probably be the do or die episode, giving us strong evidences to gauge the direction the rest of the season is going to take. Fingers crossed.