#i could talk to someone nd fall in love w them without having seen their face

[ningningkittie]

it's strange how my personal preference (when it comes to my attraction not just ppl existing in general) is body types that r chubby and on that side of the spectrum. but i cant stand my own body that is chubby?? bc im chubby in the wrong way nd it doesnt suit me?? but mostly just bc of how shitty ppl treat u. but yeah anyway it's odd how i hate my own body shape but im generally attracted to ppl who are chubby > .

[stargazing-dreamer-girl]

You & I

Requested by anon: “Could I get a Luke Patterson x reader where the reader is able to see Luke, Reggie, nd Alex. The only difference from julie is that she can make contact w/them.”

A/N: I rewrote this a bunch of times actually because it never really worked out but here is this xD just some Luke fluff

Pairing: Luke Patterson x female!reader

WC: 1.6k

“Luke!” You spun around with your hand on your chest begging your racing heart to calm down. Luke had scared you by just appearing behind you. “What the fuck?! You can’t scare me like that, it’s bad for my health!” you complained, turning back to your locker. There were already people looking at you because of your outcry and you didn’t want to raise more attention.

“I just came to see you. Is it really that bad that I missed my amazing, beautiful girlfriend who I haven’t seen in way too long?” He leaned against the locker next to yours dramatically, his gaze never leaving you. He gently reached out to your wrist playing with the guitar charm on your bracelet. It had been a gift from him. Well, he asked Julie for help since he couldn’t purchase anything given the fact that he was a ghost, but he was the one who chose what to get you and Julie bought it for him. Now, you never took it off.

You chuckled at his theatrics. “We just saw each other yesterday,” you reminded him. You had been over at Julie’s to help her with some homework which resulted in the two of you spending time in the garage with the boys and not getting a lot of stuff done. Instead, you had talked, played some music and joked around. A good alternative to studying in your eyes.

“That doesn’t count!” He pouted. “You were there for Julie, not for me. When was the last time we spend time together, just the two of us?” The question caught you off-guard. It had indeed been a little while ago. Way too long, you thought. Somehow someone was always around, whether it be Alex and Reggie, Julie, Flynn or even your parents. Although your parents were oblivious to Luke’s presence, it was like they knew when he was in your room, so they would barge in to interrupt. Or they would call when you were out, needing you to come home immediately or do something for them right away. Whenever you tried to do something together, someone always seemed to intervene.

“You’re right.” You sighed, looking over at him, but you turned right back towards your locker when you realized there was another person at their locker right behind to Luke. You wouldn’t want them to think you were talking to them. Luckily, they didn’t pay you much attention. You tried to look busy by reorganizing your books. When you spoke again it was in a quiet voice. “I hate that we weren’t able to be together without anyone else around. It feels like the universe is trying to keep us apart or something.” You laughed, playing your statement off as a joke, but it was a thought that had occurred to you many times before. Being in a relationship with a ghost was… It was great, actually. You loved Luke and he loved you and there wasn’t a human alive on Earth that you had a similar connection with than you had with Luke, but there was always Flynn’s nagging voice in your head reminding you that he was a literal ghost. He was not alive. And how could this ever be something real, if you were alive and he was not?

But it didn’t feel like that to you. You were able to see Luke, to touch him. He was just like any other boy to you in those regards. Sometimes when you were alone with him you even forgot that he was a ghost. You’d be harshly reminded of it again when someone would walk through him or he would walk through something or when he would teleport out of wherever you’d be. Your logical brain, backed up by Flynn, would tell you that it wasn’t natural, it wasn’t right to be in a relationship with a ghost, but your heart? Your heart told you that you loved Luke. It didn’t care about what the future would hold. It cared about the here and now, the moments you shared.

Luke could read the troubling thoughts that were on your mind from your face, your furrowed brows and pursed lips a dead giveaway. He leaned towards you. Determination written across his face. “Let’s get out of here!” He grabbed your hand and pulled you away, closing your locker in the process. You tried to keep up with him, so it wouldn’t look like you were being pulled by thin air. The idea of skipping class and spending time with Luke instead actually sounded great. You’d rather do almost anything with him right now than stay in that building and fight your way through three more classes. And the chance was slim that you’d get interrupted since Julie and Flynn were still at school, your parents at work and what Reggie and Alex were up to you didn’t know.

“Studio or my house?” you asked to check where you’d be going.

“Reggie might be hanging out at the studio, so let’s go to your house,” he answered. His hand still firmly held onto yours. “What’s on your mind?” he followed up when he noticed your focus on your intertwined hands.

“I’m just grateful, I guess, that I get to see you and touch you.” You gently squeezed his hand. You did that a lot, especially with your friends around. It was a subtle way to show your affection or to reassure each other of your presence. “I don’t know how it came to be that it is this way, but I’m really glad.” You smiled at him.

When you arrived at your house Luke immediately went to your living room couch and made himself comfortable while you put your bag away in your room. “Do you want to watch a movie?” You asked when you joined him. Without waiting for a reply, you grabbed the remote to pull up a movie on Netflix as you sat down next to him, but that wasn’t good enough for Luke. He always held back around the others because he knew it might make them uncomfortable, but he loved holding you, touching you, having you close, so he pulled you in to lie against his side, an arm securely wrapped around your waist. You rested your head on his shoulder still looking for something to watch. “What kind of movie are you in the mood for?”

“Just put on something you like. I probably won’t know it anyway.” That wasn’t a big help, but after a bit more contemplation decided on one. It was a movie you already knew by heart and thought Luke might like as well. But what movie was playing wasn’t of much importance anyways. The way Luke was holding you close, pressing kisses onto the top of your head from time to time, that was what mattered. His thumb kept caressing your side. With the noises from the movie playing in the background your eyelids grew heavy and it wasn’t long until you fell asleep.

Luke noticed it immediately when you fell asleep. You were leaning further into him and your hand had fallen from where it was lying on top of his. He carefully moved to lie down on the couch so as to not wake you up. When he was done your eyes were still closed and your breaths even, still, you seemed to cuddle into him even more in your sleep. Luke couldn’t help but fall even more in love with you at the sight. He was aware that you thought it was creepy when he watched you sleep but he liked doing it. There was nothing to disturb him from taking in all your features, to memorize every little thing about you.

He let you sleep for an hour before he decided it was time to wake you by pressing kisses all over your face. You scrunched up your face at the sensation, your sleep-induced mind barely registering what was happening. When you finally opened your eyes, Luke was smiling at you. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he whispered before he bent down again to connect your lips.

“What time is it?”, you asked him, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you slowly sat up.

“Almost 2pm,” he answered after checking your phone.

“Already?!” you exclaimed, now awake. “Why did you let me sleep? You gotta go to practice soon! I thought we wanted to do stuff together today.”

“I do. And I let you sleep because it looked like you needed it. Anyways, technically we did spend time together.”

You eyed him suspiciously. “Did you watch me sleep again?”

He already moved away from you, bringing some distance between the two of you in case you would resort to chugging a pillow at him at his answer. A cheeky smile appeared on his face as he pulled his shoulders up. “Maybe.”

You sighed frustratedly. “Please, don’t do that. It feels so weird to know you watch me sleep. Like, what if I drool?”

“You do,” he laughed, moving closer again. He leaned over the back of the couch to gently grab your chin and wipe over it with his thumb. “But it’s cute.” The grin never left his face while you swatted his hand away, pouting.

You groan. “You’re the worst.”

“But you love me,” he continued with a cocky grin which had you roll your eyes.

“I do. Even though I do wonder why sometimes.” You pulled him back towards you to kiss him again, smiling into the kiss. “And now come cuddle with me until you have to go to band practice.” You opened your arms. Luke happily accepted the invitation, jumped over the back of the couch and lay down beside you. With his head resting on your chest and your fingers carding through his hair he let out a sigh and relaxed into your embrace.

“I love you, too,” he mumbled lazily.

[ratplagues]

🔥 any dishonored thing of ur choosing -deathoftheoutsider

wah okay!! i will talk a bit about the outsider and void then..i dont really wanna frame it as a Hot Take bc i have no interest in starting shit or whatever like ill interact with whatever i want to in this fandom and ignore the rest and everyone else is free to do the same but.

I do not think The Outsider is a “character” in the conventional sense, much less that it does his character or the allegory he wields any justice to be shipped with anyone in the series (at least without seriously considering the implications and framing it in a way that completes the allegory. more on this later)

the outsider and his void are an allegory for Otherness; i’m namely gonna frame it as queerness and neurodiversity, but really anything could fit as long as it’s about you feeling seen as a marginalized and othered person. he is written to represent this allegory, not to be a person with a satisfying narrative arc or dimensions. this is why some people feel that he lacks depth-- he’s not supposed to have depth compared to others in the series, he’s mostly a vehicle for what he represents, and is supposed to be easy to identify with or recognize.

he was born to a life of hardship, suffered at the hands of the rich and powerful, was ignored, cast out, etc. etc. a familiar story. poor, queer, nd, really whatever you wanna frame it as. he was a nobody outcast. in comes the envisioned, they pick him to serve as their martyr and idol without his permission. he then had his name cut away and forgotten, and was thrust onto a pedestal to spend the rest of eternity being worshipped by other outcasts who had suffered at the same hands he had. he has something greatly in common with those who worship him, including the very people who stripped his mortality from him in the first place, but because of this shared hardship (and nothing else), his own autonomous personhood was disregarded completely in favor of The Community needing someone Just Like Them to idolize. if this sounds familiar, that’s because it should!!

his humanity was taken from him, and in his place, an idol was created. his human body is frozen in stone in the center of the void-- retired. out of commission. no longer needed. he was immortalized, transcended. this is traditionally desired, although dishonored is trying to convince you that it is not actually desirable. in the age of internet content creation, you can be immortalized without even being present, without knowing about it. you become what you can do for other people, and what you cannot. people fall in love with an idea of you, the idea of you being like them, and other people come to hate you deeply without even knowing you. people came to hate the outsider more deeply than he ever had been when he was human-- he wasn’t seen when he was human. a pedestal only helps you to be seen. the outsider had the choice made for him to achieve immortality in exchange for the simple joys of being un-known.

he spends all of doto trying to convey this idea to billie through the hollows:

"There is freedom in being hated. There is license in being cast out. Some learn this lesson a little too well."  "These people lay their thoughts, their petty wants, their murderous desires in front of me to witness. I cannot turn away." "We carry what was done to us through the rest of our endless days. No one asked if we wanted it." (i like this one. he speaks for the community-- this is a shared experience, one everyone can recognize. however, as a Queer Figure, he never asked for this. he never asked to be immortalized. i like the double meaning here)

not to mention, the entire extent of the outsider’s Sole ability and influence on the real world is to “choose” people and give them untold power over others. this is a fun ironic twist on what marginalized groups endure from powerful people, (dishonored is largely about power imbalances and socioeconomic hierarchies) but it’s also fun to think about in the context of the role model/fan framing-- so many worshippers give their lives to be “chosen” by him. it’s easily framed as an exaggeration of otherwise very real power imbalances and often the flagrant breaching of boundaries existing between creators and fans.

and on the subject of the VOID...ohht he void.....

the void should be a haven for queer folks. for nd folks. it’s wanted by so many to be a safe space, it should be, it’s the Other World! it’s renounced by the abbey, crusaded against, even. but it isn’t. it’s just this limitless, eons-old horizon that hungers and starves for something to fill it. if the outsider is the lament of queer idolatry, the void is the lament of queer Hunger. it is roaming, and restless. it does not belong to the outsider; the outsider cannot survive without it. it’s the desire to belong, not a place of belonging.

the void craves this idol, this outsider-- i, for one, have often experienced hunger for a truly moral and just role model, someone to make the world Right, and i know this is another shared feeling. those who worship the outsider, who drive themselves mad trying to see him or be chosen by him, are suffering from this idol hunger. you see this in a lot of queer and nd kids and young adults. i grew up just having my life and interests like, punctuated by different fixations on different people that i didn’t know at all, only fell in love with the idea of. it happens a lot.

there’s a couple more doto quotes that really highlight this for me:

"They carve my mark into the old bones bleached by the sun. They carve my mark into their skin. They learn true hunger in the Void." "All these charms, these runes and fetid offerings on shrines made for me, will be nothing more than objects worn of meaning. Bones and dead things, thrown into the dirt."

“They learn true hunger in the Void.” is something that i wanna touch on real quick. people can spend their lives obsessing over the idea of what they think the void will cure for them, will fix in their lives, only to find out that it’s just a hollow manifestation of the emptiness they’ve felt all their lives. it’s not the needs met, but the need itself. you have to make the home, it doesn’t already exist and you can’t fucking run to it. it is heartbreaking, frustrating, one of the bleakest messages i’ve ever encountered in a game, but i’ve never felt more seen. by submitting to these ideas, the idea of a perfect unhuman human and the idea of a perfect otherworldly home, you are surrendering your humanity. you’re not only being transformed by the powers gained (if they are gained), you’re essentially dissolving with hunger after never having these needs met. you see so many people in these games whittling themselves down to nothing but base need. empty apartments occupied only by shrines, sometimes containing their corpses. journals of people dedicating their lives to the worship of the outsider, always ending darkly.  "I will find this empty place. Somehow the key to open the Void will fall into my hands. In time, I will learn the secret and he will call to me as he called to her."

not to mention The New Envisioned-- prolonged exposure to the void will always, without fail, turn a human into silver void stone. these creatures can no longer interact with or acknowledge the mortal world. they have surrendered themselves to hunger, and cannot be saved. this is celebrated by the cult, honored by them, even. i honestly like....i pity them, and i hate them, and i recognize that i’ve been those people, lmao. when i was at my worst as a teenager, i wasnt so much a person as i was just a shell full of hunger and heartbreak. my personality was defined by who i was a fan of. i think i definitely was Less Human then. the cult of the outsider is a universal experience!!

dishonored, at its core, is a celebration of humanity. it asks you to celebrate human emotion and weakness despite greed and bigotry. the powers are not to be wanted, they are to be ignored, refused. it is human to hunger, but it is Queer and Divergent to make hunger your life’s meaning, to need to learn the secret, find the key, be chosen and loved and cherished, to be made whole by some perfect thing. to find your humanity in something un-human. dishonored sees all that, mourns it with you, and then asks you to find humanity in each other !! love the spine of your lover, the blood draining down the docks, the pause to stretch languidly in the sun of a work day.

and finally...on the topic of outsider shipping....i dont think that, in his god form, it does him much justice to be shipped with anyone. he’s not much of a person, just a projection of his former self and a vehicle for his allegory as discussed-- im sure he could be shipped like this, but it just isn’t satisfying to me in any way. however, let’s talk a bit about his lethal and nonlethal ending. DOTO asks you to make a choice. is it better to give him an abrupt and merciful ending, after deciding that the fury he’s endured at the hands of others’ famine is too much trauma for any mortal to live with? or will you decide that it’s only fair to give him a chance to live the life he never got to, to return his humanity that was taken without his consent? if you choose to free him from the void, i think you can very very easily make the argument that he can be shipped with corvo, or anyone else that can easily be shipped w/ ppl. he’s finally free to live his life as a queer man, can explore the simple and complex joys of being human with other people, navigate the hills and valleys he never got to before. corvo’s just a nice pick bc 1) experienced human/inexperienced human is good, 2) they know each other, but they don’t. this is a good setup. 3) corvo is an older queer man and uhh you cant convince me otherwise lol! and older queer/younger queer is a self indulgence for me. also corvo is just nice. i think he would enjoy helping the outsider navigate his new humanity.

just some thoughts i have running through my head all hours of the day :) this is really long cuz its a combination of a lot of infodumps from discord lmfao

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[kill-for-cookies]

Promise is a beautiful lie (pt. 7)

Dhawan!Master x Reader

Words: 3191

Note: Finally I wrote it! And that’s why I have a very good mood. Hope, you too. Oh, and friendly reminder, my inbox is open and you can send me requests.

Previous parts:  1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

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The Doctor didn't tell you where you were going today. All she said was it would be a little hot. Obviously, she decided to surprise you. You never were happy with surprises. You liked when everyone talked to you straight. Besides, waiting was a real torture for you. You couldn't stand it. 

Now you were in the TARDIS wardrobe, looking at yourself in the mirror. You were wearing a shirt and skirt. You liked it. Simple but stylish. But you decided to put on a white scarf made of light fabric. Now it was perfect. 

'I like it. Looks great' you inwardly made a compliment. 

'It would look better if you wore purple.'

Of course, how could be without him? Could the Master ever leave you alone for one day? You didn't process last night's meeting in the TARDIS and he was here again. There was one but. You didn't mind. Well, not exactly. You were, of course, but not as much as you could have been. Earlier you would have tried to get rid of the Master, but now you didn't really want it. Yes, there was a note of discontent, but certainly not a fountain. 

'Has anyone ever told you you're obsessed with purple?' there was one advantage of this conversation. You could tease the Master. The main thing was not to get carried away. 

'Yes, they don't shut up. Usually they quickly fall silent for some reason... So strange!' he said it so dramatically that you immediately rolled eyes. The sarcasm clearly sounded in his voice. 

You walked through the corridors of the TARDIS, coming back to the console room. You decided to leave his remark without comment. Maybe the Master would leave you if you just didn't say anything. Honestly, you didn't particularly want to tease or argue with him. Just wanted to spend some time quietly on some alien planet. You had a lot of thoughts to deal with. For example, what the hell happened yesterday? So you were begging for two or three hours of solitude and peace.

'So, where are you going this time?' but apparently, this would remain a pipe dream. Deep down, you took a deep breath.

'Why do you want to know?'

'It's not polite to answer questions with questions, love' you could feel his grin. Could even imagine it. So often you had seen the Master lately. You felt it near your ear. Damn telepathy. Sometimes you just hated this. 

'Anyway, I won't tell you until I know why' you crossed your arms over your chest, which made you a little uncomfortable walking. But you couldn't help yourself. 

'I'm just curious' to your surprise, you believed the Master. It really sounded sincere. But out of habit, you asked. 

'Really?'

'Yes, I'm not lying. Swear on two hearts it is.'

'I'm sorry. Just last time you pretended to be a different person and were jealous of yourself.'

'I wasn't jealous' you were sure the Master was offended and pouted. He often reminded you of a little spoiled child.

'Oh, right. How could I forget about your unsurpassed acting talent?'

'I forgive you. Next time I won't be so generous' you rolled eyes again. You thought you would soon see your entrails.

Finally you reached the console room. The Doctor was waiting for you, leaning on the console and reading a book. You didn't want to know what it was about. Either in a language that the TARDIS refused to translate or you wouldn't understand complicated words.

"Doc, I'm ready" she smiled and put the book away, looking at you.

"Wow! Scarf! I love scarves. I wore it once. It was so long that when folded in half it reached my heels and I was taller" your face immediately broke into a wide smile. You had no doubts that it was true.

'I always wanted to straighten it so the Doctor would fall.'

You weren't even surprised by the Master's comment. It was a little funny, though. Usually he tried to kill the Doctor, set a death trap for her. But right now it was quite different. Just a little prank. He was definitely a child at heart.

'I think it's cute' you objected.

'You just didn't see the scarf. It was multicolored and striped. No sense of style. I've never had a problem with style' and here he was again. Did the Master ever get tired of praises? Obviously not.

"Y/N, is everything okay? You're frowning" the Doctor peeked around the central column. Damn, she noticed. You got carried away with argument. Emotions showed on your face.

"Er... I was just talking to my mother yesterday. It brought up couple of unpleasant memories. It's okay."

You tried to give the Doctor a confused smile, but it was more tight and unconvincing. But it was enough for her to stop asking questions. A small sigh of relief escaped from your throat.

'Liar. Did you learn it from the Doctor or you always did it?' the Master teased. This situation clearly amused him. You really wanted to see his face and hit him so hard.

The Doctor stood at the door and opened it, inviting you to come out. So you did. You were met by a scorching red sun, which made you close eyes and put hand to your forehead to create some shade.

The sharp smell of spices hit your nose. So sharp that you wanted to sneeze. In front of you were stalls with all sorts of things. Spices, flowers, fruits, vegetables, technologies, etc. It seemed you could buy here everything in the Universe.

It was so atmospheric. There was a lot of people. Some of them examined and brought goods. Others shouted and argued. Apparently, didn't agree on price or quality.

Everything seemed so alive here. Real. No pomp and conventions. Simple and clear. That was what you really liked and missed a little. You couldn't take your eyes off this sight. It was even a little breathtaking. In a good way, of course.

"Welcome to Guoron. Planet of merchants and markets" the Doctor put hand on your shoulder as she lined up with you. "You said you wanted something simple. So I thought..." she didn't finish the sentence when she saw the tears in your eyes. "Sorry. I thought you'd like it. I can take you somewhere else..."

"Don't you dare. Don't even think about it" you said sharply, raising your voice at the Doctor and wiping away tears. "I'm crying with happiness. I didn't think it would be so great" you added more gently after seeing her surprised and wondering look.

The Doctor brightened. Her eyes showed she let out a deep mental breath. She was about to say something, but jumped up and ran to the counter.

"Oh, look. It's a waste-to-fuel Converter. I didn't know it was invented in the 37th century. I thought I was 39th. I learn something new every day" the Doctor never changed. This was probably a good thing. Besides, it was difficult not to like it. Every time she did that, you instantly smiled.

You decided to leave the Doctor. Let her examine mechanisms on his own. You weren't as interested in it as her. Honestly, you weren't interested at all.

You moved forward. Stalls were endless. It was like the street, you were walking on, led to nowhere. 

You had some kind of alien fruit in your hands. You were given it to taste even though you didn't have any money. The Doctor must forget to give money to you. Or just didn't have it as usual.

The fruit was blue, round and bumpy. It was glowing a little. In general, it resembled a raspberry. Just increased in size. You took a small bite of the fruit. It tasted like watermelon. Great! Your first alien fruit was edible and delicious. But you hardly finished your meal when the Master appeared in your mind again.

'Aren't you tired of lying to the Doctor?' he definitely wasn't going to leave you alone. It was getting annoying, as if everything, that had happened yesterday, didn't make any sense.

'What else should I do? Tell her everything? I don't think that's a good idea. So what do you suggest?'

Before the Master could respond, you heard that someone was addressing to you and trying to get your attention.

"The girl with white scarf!" you turned and looked around. You were the only one who wore a scarf. Certainly white. But you asked with embarrassment.

"Me?" you said to the old lady in the orange dress, moving closer to her.

"Yes, you" she just smiled sweetly, even though you were still looking at her in confusion. You certainly didn't expect that someone here would address to you. "Don't you want to know your fate?"

"Sorry, but I don't believe in fate" you were already half-turned and about to leave, but the old lady wasn't going to give up so quickly.

"Aren't you curious, Y/N?" your eyes immediately widened as soon as you heard your name.

Where did she know it? Did someone tell her? But who then? Not many people know it (especially on another planet or century). You certainly weren't as famous as the Master or the Doctor.

"W-where do you know?" you barely managed to say it. Your voice was trembling. Disquiet and anxiety grew in you at an extraordinary rate.

The old lady didn't answer you. She just signed to follow her. You weren't sure you should do it. On the one hand, you really wanted to. After all, you always were curious.

On the other hand, you were worried. Maybe it was a trick. Like using you as bait for the Doctor. And that wouldn't surprise you very much. In your practice, this was the norm.

'Don't go, dear. Surely this is some kind of trap' in the Master's voice there was a... concern? He worried about you? If you didn't know him, you'd be pretty sure he did.

'It's nice to know you care about me' through the bond, you felt his resentment and annoyance. He must have crossed arms over his chest and rolled eyes. 'But I want to know where she knows my name. If you don't like it, get out of my head.'

It wasn't a good idea to talk to the Master like that, but you didn't care. This old woman was right. You were very curious. So much that it got the better of your disquiet. And even though you didn't believe in predictions, you couldn't help yourself. 

Long pause. A long, tense pause. You even started to get nervous, because the Master didn't say anything. Nothing radiated through the bond, as if he wasn't in your head, although you could tell it wasn't true. 

'Okay. I'll give you fifteen minutes' and now you were alone. Alone with all this madness. You were hoping in fifteen minutes you wouldn't hear the Master saying 'I told you so'.

You were a little sad he was gone. Honestly, you wanted him to stay. Now you regretted you sent him away. At least, it would be some support. And even if the Master teased you, it would be much better than being alone.

You went inside the store. It was dark. The only light sources were candles. The room had a couple of bookcases with various books. There were skulls on some of the shelves. You wanted to believe these were 'magic' skulls and not something else.

In the middle of the room was a table with two chairs. The old lady was already sitting at the table, shuffling cards, waiting for you, like she knew you would come in.

"Glad you didn't listen to the Master" you froze in place with round eyes. You didn't even hide your surprise.

How the hell did she know about the Master? He was in your head. He even wasn't on this planet. And in general, how did she know you argued with him to come in or not? Now you weren't only curious, but also scared.

"Sit down" you slowly sat in the chair in front of the old lady. You were still waiting for the catch.

"Where do you know my name?"

It was the only thing that made you be here. You wanted to deal with this quickly and get out of here as quickly as possible. That lady scared the hell out of you. Perhaps, more than the Master had ever done.

"Take four cards from the deck" you quickly blinked your eyes. Your mouth opened to object, but she cut you off. "Just do it. I promise you'll get answers."

Brilliant! It didn't bother you at all. The woman, who knew your name and your meetings with the Master (even the Doctor wasn't aware of it), didn't frighten you at all. Just the best day on this damn planet!

Your hand with wariness (as if you put your hand on a hot pan) pulled out four cards.

"I made predictions to many people. Counts, generals, kings and others. And some of them came across a card that means deadly danger" she said, shuffling your cards.

'Um... Okay, but how does that explain she knows me?' you thought to yourself, shifting in your chair. You were hoping the Master would say something now. But unfortunately, this didn't happen.

"Your first card is the inverted King of swords. In your past there was a strong enemy who caused you a lot of trouble and suffering. He has done you serious harm. Did you have him?" the abrupt transition confused you a little. Maybe this old lady would tell you later what she meant earlier.

You were thinking. Yeah, you had one guy at school who bullied and humiliated you. You even cried about it a couple of times, but you wouldn't call him a strong enemy.

In general, you could include the Master there, if we talked about the past. But he wasn't exactly your enemy, he was the Doctor's. But considering he threatened you and your friends... So theoretically, he was.

"Yes, I had. But perhaps, everyone had such person" the lady nodded at this and on her face was written 'fair'.

"Well, they were threatened with death, but they were always saved by someone" you frowned, trying to understand who she was talking about. Probably about her clients. "The more such predictions were made, the more I learned about this person. And that was you."

Wait what? You quickly blinked in surprise. Would you save someone? Of course, you traveled with the Doctor, but usually it was she, who saved the situation.

"Well, yes, I'm traveling with the Doctor, but I'm only helping her..." you lowered your head and rubbed your neck in confusion.

"No, it was you and not with the Doctor. Have any clue?"

Even if that was true, how could you save alien kings and counts without her? You didn't have your own ship... And then it hit you. You even forgot about it. You met the Master from your future and he said you two were together. Well, after that, you interrupted him, not wanting to know what he meant.

Apparently, in the future, you would travel with the Master and dissuade him from killing. And it seemed possible. Of course, you were a little unsure of your guess, but that was the only explanation.

Besides, the more you met the Master, the more you believed he could change. And if he could, maybe one day... you would leave the Doctor for him (and just a month ago you thought that was impossible).

You would not because you were attracted to the Master. You just felt like you were the only one who were good to him. Plus, the Doctor had Fam. In the worst case, she would easily find a new companion, but the Master wouldn't.

"Wow! Congratulations. You got the Sun. Now your life is like a fairy tale. Adventure and true love. Perfect combination" okay, let's say the first time it was an accident. But now it didn't feel like this.

You definitely couldn't complain about your life now. It was really good. You saw the stars and history again with your own eyes. And there was definitely something between you and the Master. You wouldn't say (at least, for now) it was love. But you couldn't deny you didn't have feelings for him, either.

"Let's say I believe you, but why did you say 'I'm glad you didn't listen to the Master'?" you decided she shouldn't know she was right. You still didn't trust her, but the more time passed, the more you believed her story.

"I know you've been talking to him a lot lately. Don't worry, the Doctor won't know about it" the tension began to gradually leave your muscles. You didn't even notice it until now. "I know a lot about you from the predictions. Didn't I say that?" you looked away. You needed time to digest all this information.

Honestly, you weren't as scared as you were when you first came in. Of course, you were, but for some reason, deep down, you believed her. Felt this lady would do no harm to you.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Really sorry" your eyes were quickly up to her face, asking 'what happened?' "Inverted Ten of swords. This is one of the most frightening card. You will soon face a terrible ordeal. And it will bring you tears, pain and devastation."

It was like you were struck by lightning. Although you didn't believe in fate (after all, previous cards didn't fully convince you), it was still scary to hear this. You didn't want to know what the last card would be. It didn't take a genius to figure out what it would tell you. Your future in general.

You got up and walked quickly to the door. The old lady tried to stop you, but you weren't going to turn around. You were devastated. No thoughts, no emotions. Just nothing. The only thing you wanted was fresh air. Well, as far as it was possible in the market.

When you entered a small alley, you stopped and pressed your back against the wall, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes. Surely, you didn't think the day would pass like this. It was supposed to be wonderful. Supposed to be. 

You had no idea you were going to be so upset today. Especially from fortune telling. It was more likely the Master would spoil your mood, but certainly not this.Maybe you shouldn't have left. Maybe the last card was a good one. Maybe everything would end well. You would live happily ever after...

You stood there for a few more minutes in silence. Alone with yourself... Damn, you wished the Master was back in your head. His taunts would cheer you up. Who knew you loved them so much? Certainly not you.

When you came back to normal a little, you were about to leave and find the Doctor, but you were violently grabbed by arms.

[koocycle]

hiii i’d like to request an angst + comforting fluff, like the OC has a hard time keeping old friendship and has like many doubts and worries and feels like a bad friend. basically an overthinker + emotionally sensitive OC. who among the boys could really fit for giving good advice and some comfort to the OC. could be romantic or platonic. bc i’m basically like that irl wew. it’s my first time opening up abt that.

adore u | jhs drabble

pairing; hoseok x reader

word count; 1,6k

genre; angst, fluff.

contains; bestfriend!hoseok, roommate!hoseok, sweet stuff, sad stuff :(

note; this drabble is based on some personal experiences,, being an overthinker nd emotionally sensitive person makes two of us :( it can be pretty hard sometimes but pls don’t!!!! keep it all to yourself sweet anon!!!! talk w someone if necessary, it can even be me!!

visit; my masterlist !

send me; your imagination right here and i’ll make it come true :) 

You were never the kind of person to easily open up to new people, neither were you the kind of person to seek for any kind of social attention. Even when you were only a little child, engaging in conversations and interacting with others was something you definitely had to work on. After years of struggling with the idea of befriending new people and being an expected social butterfly, it didn’t seem to surprise you when people labeled you as ‘the quiet kid in the back of class’.

Very often, you found yourself doubting yourself from time to time, nothing much had changed since that time after all. You figured out that your ‘shy’ behavior even had a negative effect on your past friendships.

As a young adult, you had always thought that you would eventually grow past this perplexed phase of forced smiles and friendships. And now that you were actually able to call yourself a grown adult, you were even more disappointed in yourself when this ugly and toxic mindset still didn’t find it’s way out of your life. It made you angry how you were still doubting your social skills every time being surrounded by your friends.

Coming back from a day with some of your friends that was supposed to be fun, made you in reality mentally exhausted. Doubting yourself almost every day was one thing, but proving your negative thoughts to be right by hanging out with them was another thing you couldn’t quite get the grip on yet. You had no idea what was wrong with you and why you thought yourself to be such an awful friend, but you had been thinking this way for a good amount of years, and you were wondering if you would ever be able to change yourself.

So here you were, sitting in the drivers seat of your dark, cool car. Your car was already parked in the parking lot of your apartment for a little longer than ten minutes, and as to why you didn’t get inside your house already, you also didn’t have a valid reason for. The engine was turned off long ago and you had allowed your forehead to lean against the steering wheel, only for you to think in complete silence by yourself.

You had been looking forward to this moment all day long— the moment you were able to slip under your cool sheets and fill your head with even more negative thoughts.

However, you gave that idea a second thought when you had seen Hoseok’s car neatly parked in it’s usual spot, indicating that he had arrived home earlier than expected.

You took your time to pull yourself together before you would enter the building. Not wanting to ruin his time away from work with another set of your sad thoughts for him to go through. You knew that your best friend was about to ask you how your day went by, especially since you spent your day with some of your friends— something you usually try to avoid.

So when you had finally arrived in front of your door, you took one more shaky breath before you entered, only to be welcomed by your energetic best friend himself.

As usual, Hoseok’s energy was brighter than anything you’ve ever seen. Even though you had something close to a mental breakdown only a few minutes ago, you couldn’t help but smile widely at the sight of him. Your roommate was so hardworking, always waking up in the early morning, only to arrive back home in the late afternoon but still giving you the most beautiful smile whenever you needed one.

‘‘How was Jimin’s birthday party? Did you have fun?’’ he had asked you the moment you walked inside the living room. The first thing you did was plopping down the couch to sit next to him. You wanted to be comforted by his presence as you felt your happy mood shifting again upon hearing the question.

‘‘It was nice.’’ You let your temple fall against his his shoulder, the lie easily slipping from your lips as you closed your eyes at the feeling of him beside you. You tried to distract yourself, knowing how Hoseok wanted you to get into the details. ‘‘Can’t believe you can watch this without your insides doing a turn over.’’ You told him, indicating to the television in front of both of you playing some kind of American reality show.

‘‘There is not really anything else to watch at this time of the day.’‘ You heard him chuckle lightly. ‘‘You’re home early, by the way, I honestly thought you wouldn’t be home until tonight.”

‘‘Did you want me to?’’ You couldn’t help but let your insecurities get the better of you and ask such a silly question.

‘‘Hm? Of course not, I like being home with you. Just figured out you’d be home later than usual because you were spending time with your friends.’’ You felt his head resting on yours then, bringing his aura closer to yours. Hoseok was aware of your constant doubts and worries, he had always been one of the few people in the world to make you feel like it was alright to be a little shy. He told you that it was just fine to take a bit more time to open up to people than usual, it didn’t make you a bad friend at all, is what he had always tried to convince you.

And that’s one of the things that you liked most about him. He was the complete opposite of you, always getting along with everyone he met and being the bright piece of sunshine he was. Everything he did seemed to be natural to you. And yet, he still understood your worries, even though he had nothing to relate to, he was the one who was able to wipe a few of your worries away.

He was everything you ever wanted to be. You wanted to be just like him sometimes. It came to a point where you started to adore him, trying to pick up some of his habits, from talking to strangers to talking to a few of his closest friends.

‘‘Or did you not have fun?’’ Hoseok continued, smoothly trying to ask you about your day.

‘‘No It was fun, Hobi. Don’t worry about it.’’

There were a few moments of silence exchanged, the only sound coming from the television in front of you. He didn’t want to push you to open up about something you weren’t comfortable talking about, but he also didn’t want you to keep it all to yourself. ‘‘What is bothering you, then?” He couldn’t help but ask.

Another moment of silence passed by. You didn’t know if you should deny your feelings right now, but on the other hand, he could read you like an open book. There was no luck in pretending.

‘‘Do you think I’m a bad friend?’‘ You asked him softly, not wanting to hear how pathetic your voice sounded right now.

He had this idea that this was the thing bothering you. You didn’t seem as excited when you walked inside the apartment today, and he was able to recognize that sad look on your face better than anything else.

He knew that you didn’t want to talk about it because you were worried about bothering him with your bombarding words. But in all honesty, he wanted nothing else than offering you the most assuring comfort possible.

‘‘No. I think you’re an amazing friend.’’ He answered then, and you couldn’t help but plant another lump in your throat. ‘‘I would be packing my clothes and live somewhere else right now if it wasn’t for our friendship.’’

You smiled a little at that. ‘‘You’re only saying that to spare my feelings.’’ Your voice sounded hoarse as you played with your fingers, the volume of your voice going softer each time you spoke. ‘‘I know I’m troubling you with my worries, I didn’t want to bring it up again..’’

‘‘Hey,’’ he said then, disregarding his frame from yours, only to make you look at him a second later. ‘‘Your worries are not silly, they’re very reasonable. But don’t ever question our friendship to be one sided again, you know I love you. I love hearing your thoughts.’’

Hoseok gave you a somewhat stern look, wanting you to be aware of his side of your assumption. ‘‘I know you can’t help feeling this way, but you should know that you’re an amazing friend. My best friend, even.’’

‘‘Yeah I know, Hobi.’’

‘‘I don’t think you do.’’ He showed you a small smile, ‘‘come here.’’ Your friend pulled you closer to his side, going back to your previous position on the couch, but holding you tighter in his embrace this time.

‘‘Look at this beautiful friendship we’ve created the past few years. That wasn’t just because I wanted to spare your feelings. That was because I love you being my friend.’’ He told you as you drew invisible circles on his denim jacket, ‘‘Be a bit kinder to yourself, would you? You try to keep everybody satisfied with the love you give them, but what about yourself?’’

‘‘I don’t know how..?’’ you trailed off, not exactly knowing what he wanted you to do now.

‘‘I want you to show yourself a bit more respect. You can’t always satisfy everyone, it’s a part of it. You should love yourself a bit more instead of constantly worrying about your every move.’’

You hummed at his words, knowing that it sounded easier than it actually was. As if he could read your thoughts again, he spoke, ‘‘But don’t worry, we’re going through this together. As best friends should.’’

[jeonginsdimple]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*soft bias tag*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

okay so i was tagged for this about five times i swear but they’re so deep in my notifs that i Can’t remember who tagged me and im too lazy to look but whoever u are i love u with all of my heart thank u it’s like this tag was made 4 me i am such a soft stan

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 1. Who is your bias?

g o d not this question. i’ll do jeongin bc he probably owns the most uwus of mine

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 2. What made you notice them?

hm.... honestly his b o y s sweater in hellevator was the first thing i saw HJDSHJS i was like “wow.......... that’s...... kinda gay also he’s really cute” but if i’m being completely honest he got such little screen time + lines i couldn’t tell whether he was a part of the group. later on when i looked up their profiles and i saw him i screeched he rly stole my heart very very early on. before i watched the show i kept thinking abt how excited i was to see more of him on screen PFF

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 3. What’s your favorite thing about them?

okay uhhhh u must be the Biggest Bool around if you think im going to name one thing anyway here’s my eight page essay--

fr ok i was going to list some things but i started writing about the first one and it’s too much i’m just going to keep that LMAO

his deep heart is something i think about a lot. i have to admit that i didn’t start watching the show until around when the fifth episode? came out. beforehand i had seen a clip from the fourth episode where jeongin had been practicing for school life, and he started admitting all of his struggles n insecurities n everything (the clip is called ‘jeongin is tired’ or something to that effect on youtube). anyway that was the first thing about stray kids i ever cried about! i sobbed so hard watching that y’all i felt like the Largest Clown around crying alone in my room sobbing over some boy that doesn’t know me PFF. watching him work so hard and worry so much about everything made my heart ache so bad hdsfsjkfdsjk especially since about .2 seconds before watching that clip i had seen a few people hating on him on twitter (which is why stan twt is inferior! too much hate tbh). i think it was at that moment, even if i wasn’t fully aware at the time since i hadn’t seen enough of them, that i really fell in love with jeongin anyway this is getting Too Soft god i’m moving on

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 4. Who would initiate skinship more?

ME HAHA WHAT KIND OF QUESTION-- have y’all seen that boy he’s like a metal rod when it comes to skinship. there’s this one video where minho’s doing a little pat pat 2 jeongin u kno nd he was STIFF AS HELL it was so funny. i’m so annoying and touchy i’d be attached to that boy deadass like some kind of leech he couldn’t get rid of me if he tried. trying 2 sleep? too bad Big Fool! suddenly i am Your Pillow

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 5. Who would hog blankets more?

hm............ well usually i’d say me because i get cold way too fast, but tbh if it was in a situation where i was laying w jeongin??? i’d let myself contract hypothermia and die he can have it

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 6. Who would be more clingy?

i kind of covered this already but 100% me y’all i’m so loud when it comes to being clingy. i’d be around him all the damb time if i had the chance fr

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 7. Who would say ‘I love you’ first?

also me i say i love you way too much. like on a more serious (kind of) note i sometimes worry that i say it to the point where it loses its meaning. i feel like that i should sometimes find other things to say because if there comes a time where someone really needs to hear “i love you” and they can’t believe me because of all of the casual times i’ve said it i’ll probably hate myself lmao. but that’s not important anyway in this situation i’d probably tell this loser i love him every time he came into my line of sight

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･  8. Who would be more easily flustered?

honestly ion know prob both? idk i’m such a loser and i get embarrassed so easy but @ the same time jeongin seems like he sucks at receiving attention without dying. so probably both depending on the situation

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 9. What cuddling position would you two have?

i am Embarrassed writing this but whatever i’ll just go 4 it. so i really love cuddling. like a Lot. also i have to take into account that i am Large and about two inches taller than jeongin. anyway i’d almost always prob be the Big Boy when cuddling. like i’d be wrapped around him in any way i could be. literally every position would be the one.......... if i wanted to give an example tho y’all know the vliev photoshoot that skz had........... the position that hyunjin n woojin were in? i’m hyunjin and jeongin is woojin that’s just how it is

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 10. Which colours remind you of them and why?

black bc he’s edgy uwu (no he’s not but for some reason black usually comes to mind......... it’s my favorite color tho so uhhh correlation) also pastel pink bc he’s so sweet and it’s like The soft color and i am Soft for him

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 12. Which season would you like to spend with them?

winter bc 1: his birthday uwu i’d spoil the fuck out of that boy with my 7 dollars and 2: so many kinship opportunities bc of the cold i’d live 4 it. plus there could b like........ hot chocolate and stuff wowow

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 13. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

hm........... i like baking....... so i’d prolly bake n jeongin would snatch the batter and i would absolutely Not be angry that boy owns my heart and he can own that batter too

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 14. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

ok i’d make so many bad puns every chance i got. fr give him incentive to smarten up and get the fuck away from my annoying ass

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 15. Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

hhhhhh probably me. like i can’t recall any specific time that jeongin’s even talked abt animals. even tho i’m wildly allergic 2 both (but i have two of each rn i’m not weak y’all can fight me) i’d force him to get AT LEAST one dog with me

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 16. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen try to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

okay i would definitely be the one burning shit down i have literally burnt mac n cheese. i may b able to bake but once it comes to anything that involves an appliance that isn’t an oven i’m screwed

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 17. Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

that boy would lean over a railing on like the twentieth floor deadass “owo whats this” and i’d barrel across the room breaking the sound barrier in the process to save that boy i’m way too nervous all the time

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 18. What would watching a horror film with them be like?

ok well i for one enjoy a good Spook. if it’s like..... real scary tho i’m a little bitch lol. anyway i’d be holding that boy to me like he was on the verge of death the whole time. if he ever jumped i’d probably hold him tight enough to the point where he couldn’t breathe it rly be like that

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 19. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i’d be cheesy 100% i’m so greasy. idk if jeongin would be smooth but considering he likes to introduce himself by saying he falls into our hearts and i introduce myself by messing up my first name i’ll take a chance and say he’s smoother

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 20. Who is more competitve?

him i’m literally so lame i’m not competitive at all. i’d let that boy win in a heartbeat if it made him happy (unless we were playing some like video game shit i get immersed in that)

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 21. Who would have to be given constant reminders? (Remember to eat, don’t forget to your keys, etc)

me all the way i am the most forgetful person on earth. i could be leaving the house n boy’s like “hey loser don’t forget ur fuckin pants”

*♡ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ 22. Who sends memes and who sends cute ‘I miss you’ texts at 3am?

i send both and he purposely leaves me on read until i apologize

Tagging: anyone fr i don’t know who’s done it already except @dinonugggies u have to

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

[kgxmin]

‘’ ELABORATE ‘’ PLOTS ( to entice u to plot w this fucker )

                              -— PLOT SPECIFIC

— PAST TRAINEE: must be in training at the same time as him, around 2009. he was very much a flop / paranoid / had severe authority issues, and id really love the idea of someone else going through this w him ? like someone just as unsure about this as him, or maybe partner in crime of sorts which he shares the same thoughts with him. it could go the opposite as well, perhaps your muse hates his insubordination and they dislike each other ever since.

— HANDLER / A KNIGHT: insubordination comes to play here too rip, min could very likely go against their orders, and/or their position in the past and would probably get shit for it in return. maybe they tolerate it, decide to take care of it themselves or just report him and it becomes a reminder in his file. it could be specific to a mission or something in general.

— TECHNOPHOBES: *rubs palms against each other* this v much depends on how much he likes this person, but u would basically be in his clutches. i imagine u could ask him for help ? or he just takes it as a mission of his own and u want to stop him from teasing you in the end. as much as he hates being called an it guy, he takes pleasure in knowing he is better at this than u, but he would be helpful like 50% of the time.

— TECHIES: i kno we dont have any other tech agents atm but i just wanted to put this here anyway. perhaps ur agent thought about going into the tech department / choosing as their specialty, idk, even if they just like playing video games, hit him up, he needs bros nd they would be getting high level limited edition game content.

— BLACKMAILING: do you have a hidden past ? a secret you dont want ppl to know ? enter min. he has a habit of doing a background check on people he meets or just finds intriguing, maybe he dug up something good, and he lets this person know that he knows. he doesnt even have to gain something from it, he just enjoys the power he has over ppl. it could go either way, but probably something negative.

— BLACKMAILEE: the opposite of the plot above. for some reason you know he used to be a freelance hacker who was a part of a most wanted group in the past. this happened in the us, but your character could be inadvertently affected anywhere, or maybe they just know him because of how he ditched his group ( and your chara knows one of the people from there ). min hates thinking about it / bringing it up, so it’s all up to u to decide how this info would be used.

— RICH FOLKS: from his past. his parents are a part of a big company, maybe they were childhood friends, or maybe they met recently in one of the events the couple threw and forced min to go. they could get along, or just hate each other depending on what they think about the whole ordeal. min for one despises all businessmen in general so there’s that.

— MIN IN YOUR EAR: he happens to guide your character through many missions, so he has seen them through thick and thin. ( maybe even a few seduction ops that he continues to tease u about. “i know ur hiding much more tiger.” “shown them another world didya?” ) he is known to be even more sarcastic in general, but he usually means well i suppose!

— ROOMMATES: maybe ur character is extra persuasive and aware that min has a huge house, so they asked him to lend them a room for a while. it started off as a favour for a few days or a week, but maybe you managed to cope well with his odd tendencies and min came to accept the fact that two is better than one. you better not have any cat allergies though! and you might need some earplugs

— A FIELD AGENT: ( update: taken ! ) age doesn’t matter, min doesn’t go to the field at all tbh, but he would be forced to go with this person. maybe because he’s going to need to insert a virus / get into someone’s computer and it can’t be done remotely. this could have happened anywhere in these five years. he would be very out of his element, he hates the field with a passion and would be lowkey freaking out / whining about the whole ordeal. the angstier the better, something could have gone wrong, perhaps this agent got injured, min would feel uncharacteristically guilty about it all, and try to make up for it in the years that follow. it could have brought them closer or further, depending on who this person is.

                             -— RELATIONSHIP SPECIFIC

— BEST FRIEND / CONFIDANT(E): please, he needs more ppl around to be honest with. this is p rare in general though it could definitely happen, provided that they know each other for a long time. this person would know about him the most / what he did and all.

— OLD FRIENDS: before he left seoul for university, they would be friends. he left without letting many people know, so it is possible that your character would have no idea until he wiped himself off korea for a few years. or maybe the opposite, your character was the only one who knew what he did and why, and they still keep in contact.

— EXES: didnt work out? fwbs turned out more? one of them distanced themselves ? this honestly is v much up to plotting so i’ll leave this blank.

— FWBS / ONE-NIGHT STAND: much like the one above, depends on what we do with it! he might have completely forgotten their night together, or maybe just decides to ignore it, or or maybe it’s a regular thing they do. 

                            -— SOME SENTENCE STARTERS

— “all nighter, you and me. first one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.” — “is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” — “keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.” — “i recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision i have elected to ignore it” — “it must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.” — “to the night you’ll never remember!” — “you have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. not that that’s going to stop us, but at least i’ll have all the facts.” — “your clothes. get rid of them. they’re hideous.” — “do you have a cat too? let’s do a playdate for ours.”

          if any of these strike ur fancy ( or something else ) feel free to hit me up or like this and i’ll come to ya ! 

[chenlays]

for mi radish

ok so as of 9.29.17 that was our fIRST FRIEND ANNIVERSARY of one month wow I am CRUING

so I just love u so much I need to express through a 1065 slide power point

I would if I could :’)

OKAY so here r some things to make u happy n know I love u more than life itself 

n i’m sorry i didn’t post sooner or it isn’t as amazing as the one you made me, but just know i love you so much and i can’t wait to take bad pictures of u n throw shade and leave hyuck notes in ur room and house to make u feel happy that’s my dream omh

wow ur just so beautiful,,,how??

hyuck is drowning

I’m drowning

your beauty is endless and I am so amazed bc

like ur lil blemishes n crooked teeth and messy hair

SO CUTE

like wow they are just there and that’s yOU and I’m ?? So confused bc u say sometimes that ur ugly and I’m just ?? How

like nO ur “flaws” are so pure and beautiful within themselves n I LOVE

I mean idk if I was hyuck I wouldn’t even have to look twice to see that ur so pretty

Also I cannot wait to touch ur tummy and smoosh it n lay on it u titty

if u let me 🤧🤧

just wow I love u and ur face and ur body

They’re so beautiful

who iS paige I only know too perfect for hyuck

YOUR NAME AUTOCORRECTS TO THAT STILL IM CRUING

uR SO GOOD TO ME

lIke u make ocean stuff and I feel so happy n blessed

and when I call myself ugli u make me feel better

I still think I’m ugly tho sorry

And ur so cute bc u say ilY a lot

and that’s all I need omg

ur so extra tho with those sneak peeks

I cried a lot

u cARE ENOUGHT TO MAKE ALL THAT

I feel so loved n happy that u have done that

I JUST WANNA WRITE LILE 5K WORDS ABT PONG

You deserve so much pong snuffs 😤😤

but just being my friend and taking time out of your day to talk is just so nice to me

likE I’m so gross pls

WTFWVS

i also will sing to u some day bc i truST you with my life but i can’t do a capella sO idk i will learn how to sing my paige for u

omg u shy away but u actually love it that’s so cute and my heart is a fukin oven don’t think I don’t see those tags ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

YOU’RE ALSO SO CUTE WITH HYUCK WHEN IS THE WEDDING 👀👀

frick im in pain from these razor burns and my back hurts n my legs are sore but i nEED to supply you with my everlasting love

ok so i know i say hyuck is ugly and all that

but wow i cry whenever u get soft for him its so cute 

just,,,yes please do yell abt his hair n his cheeks n his eyes

yell all u want bc i’m always listening and i am literally always on my phone bc i don’t have anything better to do other than c ry 

but yes pls do scream about how u wanna marry him and date him

I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU IRL

JUST IMAGINING YOUR VOICE WHEN YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT HIM

OR HOW YOUR EYES PROBABLY LIGHT UP

IM GONNA CRY BECAUSE YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND I BET YOU UNLEASH UR FULL POTENTIAL WHEN SOMEONE SAYS HYUCK

I WANNA VIDEO CHAT W YOU ALL THE TIME AND SCREAM ABT PONG BUT I CANT AND I’M SAD :((

ok but,,,pls marry hyuck he doesn’t deserve you but you love him anyway smh

you are just so good and cute and you love ur dogs and are doing cook soul and i’M always proud of you and i always wanna hug you,,even if it’s just for safely getting to your bed without all those spooks

i jUST wanna be with you and yell in ur ear abt chenle as u yell in mine while we hug n cry,,,my dream

i am so soft for u smh pls never change “hi i’m yuta,, welcome to chili’s” or i will CRY it’s my fav by you,,,also the fact that u watched like 5 of those green pornos i can’t bREATHE

OK SORRY IF I DON’T APPRECIATE YOU ENOUGH BUT I’M BAD AT WORDS AND I JUST WANNA WRITE U HYUCKS BC I KNOW IT MAKES U HAPPY

hyuck is really gross compared to u and ilysm pls realize this

a nice soft couple kMS

he loves u so much,, and he better or i will kick him >:(((

so he is sad ofc people get sad

and he wHIPS out that phone so fast to text you

“hELLO my beautiful, amazing, cute, adorable, sweet, bby 💖”

“WTf do u want :)))”

“COME A ND cuddle u fuk”

and ur runnin and he feels so blessed bc he needs u and he loves you kns

so when u get there he has ur favs,, like some tea or lil fruit snacks chenle

and he has them on the table in front of the couch and has a movie on to distract him, but now that you’re there he is already 10x better

so he dRAGS u to the couch and since ur so tiny,, he pulls u into him and literally encases u and has his head on urs and a nice cute lil smile

like,,he looks so soft n content when his leg is trapping u and u can’t even move ur arms wtf dude

but u snuggle up to him anyways and are warm n it’s really nice to feel like that

n if u want ur fruit snaccs,, he just reaches over n then moves so he can feed u :”o

leaves the grape flavored ones for last bc he probably hates them don’t eat chenle thx

and he just g r i n s when he does bc wOW ur so cute his whole body aches

how can someone,, just anyone,, b this cute

he is so lucky >:(((

then when u wanna nap finally, he makes u more comfortable and pets ur hair probs and puts ur face in his chest A WGWH

and is just shielding you from nOTHING 

just wants you to feel safe n loved

also sings rly softly because he knows ur a ho for his vocals

literally just snobs himself to sleep bc ur so cute with ur messy hair n small smile bc ur happy

uGSHds i need to send pics to him when ur married

“wow look at this loser she’s wearing ur sweater”

but he would think that’s so cute and would send me like 897847894876 heart emojis and i’d block him

but then i would feel bad n ask him to send 68 paragraphs on how much he loves u so i can print them all out and leave them on ur doorstep

nct st will be a blast and i will make sure hyuck treats u right bc that’s the only way u deserve to be treated

liKE A Q U E E N

ur a titty tho

when u get married i’ll make chenle screech uR fav bc them vocals 👅😩😩🔥😍💦💦👏

CAN I WRITE MARRIAGE HCS THX

wow i think he would be really extra when he wants to propose to u pls be at least 624 when u get married thx!!!

takes you to a very beautiful spot in japan or even somewhere in europe if you don’t care being that far from ur home at nct st🤧🤧

so he would take u to a really pretty garden park thingy in early fall when it’s just getting cold and the flowers aren’t wilting,,,and walk around and watch as you get happy bc of the fish ponds and puppies people are walking n dOZENS of rainbows gay icon

and he would hold ur hand n smile so bIG when u pull him towards something n yell abt it

constantly says you’re more beautiful whenever you say a flower is pretty

“oMG hyuck this is so pretty im wheezin”

“your beauty is far more ethereal ;o”

ur heart busts a nut even on the 673rd one bc binch he is so amazing

then after u walk through the park and suffer many encounters of him protecting you from thirty seven butterflies and literally squaring up,,he walks you to a nice cozy cafe cAFE BOY HYUCK and pays for a nice hot chocolate 

asks the barista to put a heart in it and pink marshmallows and is rUSHING to grab it so he can give it to you

goes up to you at the table while ur texting or scrolling istg u better update me abt the adventures on ur hyuck holidays and has the softest and most heartwarming smile you have ever seen

and he is trying to speak so he can show you the hot chocolate before the marshmallows melt and he just ca n t bc ur so beautiful just lookin at him and he’s shaking 

but he ends up putting it on the table and being really cheesy n putting a hand on ur cheek n smooching ur forehead bc he’s highkey gonna scream if he has to explain

but ur in love with him and you just laugh n admire the cute lil pinkies and the heart and then look up at him and he’s sweatin bc fuk ur so ethereal and he is nervous abt the day

and he is internally screaming every second bc ur so clueless n u just want to love him like every day and have a nice relaxing vacation after everything on nct st it’s rly stressful

i’ll call u some time n just “i fukin swear noodle man won’t sNOp throwing noodles at sheema and chenle im so scared to go outside pls come home”

as ur drinking the hot coc o,,he’s deep in thought n messing with his hair or looking stressed n ur worried bc,, it’s supposed to be a nice week long vacation full of fun n r e l a x n he’S STRESSIN G

so u almost throw what’s left of the drink bc ur worried n snatch his hand n,,, “hYCUk what’s wrong??????????????????????”

and w o w he brightens up so quick when he hears u and literally becomes the sun and his eyes are like fukin LIGHTS 

but he just says he is alright because it has to be a perfect day for you 😤😤

and he lets you finish ur drink while ur still lowkey worried but he makes himself look happy i mean, he is but he’s nervous fuk even tho he is still about to explode

so when ur done n ur smiling at his cuteness,, he throws ur cup away and dRAGs you outside n u walk for a while n go slow so u can enjoy each other n just hold hands n talk abt whatever is on ur minds

until like 256428 steps later yOU turn the corner n there’s a big ass aquarium and yOURE LITERALLY SC R E AMING

ur running to the doors so fast to see all the pretty fish n sharks n stingrays

ur like a little kid i BET and it’s so pure and adorable oh my god

but hyuck is struggling to restrain you

“sweetie pls i have to pay first”

and then u calm down once he pays n grabs ur hand so u can take all the time u want to scream abt the tiny starfish who just wants to be free

but i doubt he would take u to one where the animals are suffering bc he’s sweet n values ur love for the ocean

but u are looking literally everywhere and he’s tearing up bc ur smiling so wide n ur with hyuck and he’s keeping ur hand warm and j ust looking at u so fondly instead of where he paid to look smh

but u drag him to a lil tiny red fish and it’s so small and energetic n ur like,, “wow bby that fish reminds me of ur good years”

he sighs but agrees tbh

“i’m still hot wym”

but u also see fish that are so beautiful n ur talking about how they remind u of him n he’s gonna SCREAM bc nothing can be prettier than u wtf

he doesn’t say anything tho bc he wants u to keep looking at the flashy colors and how happy or sad or cute they look and just doesn’t want to look away from u bc he is so in love and who knew that looking at fish could make someone so amazingly beautiful i did tbh

n sadly,,,you walk to a different section and go :o at the tiny sharks n how blep they look,, just swimmin with >:0 blep

but u hig h ke y almost scream bc there’s some little kids who r pressing their faces to the glass bc there’s really pretty otters and the otters r just zoomin and playing with each other n having fun bc they r happy

hyuck is shaking at the excitement

u take out ur phone n send pics to the nct st mom gc and all of us respond in .7 seconds,,,even ally smh she’s so busy n inactive i love her,,,abt how amazing an otter is

jade has it as her background on everything in less that 5 seconds 

but as ur also pressing ur face to the glass,, hyuck points out two otters that r really cute n swimming together and u look so fast and squeal at them

hyuck is a cheesy fuk poetic “ahh those remind me of us wow they r so cute”

u wanna smacc but he looks so soft n precious,,,u just can’t ruin his softness

it’s like a full 3 minutes before u move to the dolphins n make fun of chenle smh meet me behind mcdonalds at 4am if u wanna roast my poor bub bc ur just tearing up at how happy and loving he looks,,,my aesthetic is hyuck looking at u with nothing but love in his eyes bc ur the cutest and best thing for him n he is so glad to have met u all those years ago n live with u on nct st n love u forever,, even tho sometimes he has to wake up at 6am bc me n lele r shiverign in the basement bc noodle man is trying to murder or even tho a keet gets stuck in ur room and it’s trying so hard to go back h o m e and i’m sobbing in the driveway bc i lost 1/23 keets n he wants to kill me bc i’m calling him ugly n he’s callin me ugly constantly and i’m annoyin  g but he can’t bc u love meeee

but wow he would go through the worst for u i’m gonna cry

but it’s a lil late when u get back to ur hotel i assume with dozens of pictures n 800+ messages from me tbh abt ur safety n how i don’t want his ugly to rub off on you,, but u r exhausted n ready to sleep n cuddle even if it’s like 7pm 

bUT WAIT

hyuck is askin u to get up so h e can like,,,talk to u better

n he is so 

ugly bc highkey screaming 

ur hair is a lil messy from a long day n ur barely smiling bc u wanna cuddle n ur slouching maybe

but h e thinks ur the most beautiful thing ever n just holds ur face n smooches u all over for 90 minutes until u r laughing n telling him to sNOP

n then he just looks at u so lovingly while ur eyes r shining from that n ur smile is so wide n bIG and he just fukin whips out a power rangers ring n 

“bab ily so much n i wanna b with u for the rest ofm y life pls marry me :D “

u fukin SCREAM 

“ok i would but u have  a fukcinh power rangers ring that cost 2 cents”

“sI K E” n he pulls out a real ring n throws the power rangers one away,, he rly wanted to actually use it but couldnt waste an entire 80 paychecks so u get married w a fukin toy on ur finger

but he is in t ea r s n hugs u so good after u got that $$$swag money$$$ ring on and u r screeching n begging for cuddles and love and ofc he provides n cuddles u to death while still hugging so good and petting ur hair n singing u some old stuff that u really like n then talking with u abt ur future n how u wanna murder me bc i still call him ugly

but ur just so adorable and cute and i’m sobbing bc what a fukin sweetheart

n when u fall asleep he jUSt stays up a little later bc he can’t snop thinking abt how lucky he is n how amazing u are

“blessed by gucci jesus”

n he woNt snop smiling and he just can’t wait to love u forever n see ur smile every day n sing for u all the time n hug u n make u dinner n breakfast n leave cute lil notes in ur lunch for work or send like 800 word messages abt how he wants u to have a good day n think of him if ur sad,,,so pure i want to yell abt poNG

@pcypaige ILYSM AND I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AND HUG YOU SO TIGHT U DI E BUT THEN I WILL REVIVE U WITH HYUCK PHOTO CARDS OMGMGM ILY SOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSO MUCH AN D IM SCREAMIGN 

[forwyk]

Romantic Frustration | Doyoung

Oaky,, doyoung,,

here I’m so soft for him I’m about to get giddy af

Alright I feel like he would be a big spooner in the sense that he loves spooning duh@me

we’ve seen how he is w the other members nd melted nd seen just how closely he holds them right

he’d love just spooning esp in a bed bc soft duvet nd soft warmth nd bc he gets to wrap his arms tight around u

pulling u as close to his chest as he could

he’d rly love the feeling of having u so close bc tht way he can make sure ur a-oaky at all times u kno

anyways he’d also b rly into nuzzling into ur neck/side of ur face area

tbh he would find comfort in the smell of ur shampoo or body wash or whatever

plus it was gave him access to placing super soft kisses to ur neck/jaw/cheek

LTHOugh when he did that it would make both of u super giddy hehe

like after he did it he’d smile rly big nd hide behind u again nd maybe press a kiss to ur shoulder

but like he’d absolutely lvoe it bc u were in a relationship !!! he could do it !!! u kno

he felt pride tht no one else was able to do tht bc u were together nd awww sappi doyoung w out the actual sap :’)))

Yo if u hadn’t seen each other in a while just kNo tht u will b cuddling facing each other

it’d b way more intimate nd promotes cosy talking which he’d b all for

bc wow he loves hearing u talk nd listening to what u say

he rly values ur opinions nd words oaky

he rly appreciates getting to talk to someone other than the members

even tho he loves them lots it’s just nice knowing another person cares

plus he’d find it supppppeeeeeerrr cute seeing u look up w big eyes tht r just filled w l o v e nd it’s all 4 him!!!

He’d feel so lucky awww bless :’)’)’)

nd also if u wanted 2 lean up 2 give him a peck on the lips or cheek or smwhere

ud place ur hands on his shoulders for a lil bit of leaverAge or support or whatever

nd he’d rly like feeling ur tiny hands against his broad shoulders

((this would also apply if u were hugging while standing like he did w his baby donghyuck awww)))

nO BUT RITE DOYOUNG’S CHEST. IS . so. B R O A D

HED LOVE THE FEELING OF U SNUGGLING IN CLOSE ND SIGHIGN IN CONTENT

ITD MAKE HIM SO HAPPI LIKE THERE IS SO MUCH LVOE IM-

wow I’m making doyoung out to b a big ol sappi softy nd he is don’t get me wrong but he’s alsO 28474637272727% NOT OAKY THIS LAD IS JUST AS NASTIEE AS JAEHYUN BUT HE HIDES IT LIKE THE SNEKE HE IS

I’m gon try not go 2 hard here bc boi I don’t have time 4 these emotions!!!1!1!!

Oaky so kissing doyoung hehe I’m getting giddy as all h*ck wld most likely happen in bed at night just before slep oaky so

rite the way I imagine this goin down wld be yous 2 having ur wee chit chat u kno

#justslepythings

it’s a nightly occurrence

so anYways it’s gonna happen 1 of 2 ways

the 1st way wld b like if he’s leaning over u but not rly over u

nd there wld be a slight lull in the convo

nd ud jus b lookin @ each other bc wow beauty

nd u wld c that look like his big eyes wld b sparkly as h*ck nd u wld knoooo

so anyway he’d lean down lowkey hesitantly bc he is still r shy wee bunni but he’d do it nonetheless

nd he wld just slot ur lips together sO S O F T L Y like,

there wld hardly be any pressure

but tht wld make u want more

so ud lean up into it

tht’s how he knos he got the rite away

nd he wld lower u back down properly, ur hands going around his neck 2 bring him impossibly closer

nd then,,

out it comes.

Dotongue.

It makes n appearance.

Now lemme tell u,,

Doyoung knos e xactly what 2 do w his tongue

idk where he learnt it but dam tht thing has the ability to make u shiver in delight @ just the smallest of touches

even tho doyoung’s got quite small lips they r,,, hold up in get ing emo,,,, they’re so utterly beautiful nd so amazing @ kissing it hurts it don’t actually it’s just rly attractive nd has the ability to make u melt nd fall against/into him

nd the fact tht he’s hovering over u gives him tht lil bit o control tht he loves having nd tht u love him having hehe

bc he can just move to ur jaw nd neck @ any point

he doesn’t seem like the type to b super into hickeys but for some reason I c him having a thing for ears nd ear lobes??????

Don’t ask me y but I think nibbling gently on ur ear lobe wld be a major turn on 4 him hehehe

Oaky so the other way i c this going wld b u climbing onto his lap nd just goign 4 it

like laddddddddddd

he’d love it sm nd find it rly attractive just having u in his lap w his warm hands on ur waist //oboihishands//

but he wld also b super giggly bc c’mon it’s doyoung he is a shy wee thing it’s just surrounding his #nastieee u kno

rite so idk y but I feel doyoung wld rly like skin to skin contact

like Ik the look he gave taeil when he said he’d prefer linking arms bc more touching but nono,

this is different,

this is just u nd him

but like I think he’d rly love his hand resting on ur hip or waist or lower back just lazily trailing his hand over ur skin or gently squeezing it whenever either of u moan softly into the othertbh making out w doyoung wld b pure bliss nd I’m getting emo bc I think abt this daily whOOpS

also doyoung wld love 4 u to gently suck on his neck

like not hard enough 2 leave a mark but u kno,, tbh maybe I just wanna do this his neck,,is so h*cking beautiful I’m crine

plus by sitting on his lap ur in control of the gridningheheheheheh

He’d give those sorta lingering kisses where he’d keep leaning in nd softly pressing his lips to urs but in a really playful manner

nd it’d b super cute but he’d be shy as all heck!!!!

his Lips would b so soft nd warm u wld melt nd try to get impossibly closer to him oaky like u kno

yo his kisses,

(((esp makeouts)),

would last supppppeeeeerrrrrrrr long too,

like neither of u could get through the day without at least 45-1 hour of making out,

nd then both ur lips would b swollen as h*ck nd breathing heavily,

like makeout sessions w doyoung aren’t always gonna lead on to anything else,,,

they’re jus gonna b really nice nd enjoyable for u both

djdjdhehebsisjdbdofj

basically his aim is to get ur lips all red nd swollen from kissing

oaky he finds it supperrrr attractive ndjfhrrhdh

Yoyoyoyoyoyo tho none of the other members kno he’s this way

like the most he’ll do in front of them is hug u

nd give u those big gummie smiles we all love Sm :’)))))

nd tbh u found this more attractive nd loving bc he only shares tht side w u

nd only u kno how wildt he is in bedt nd dammmmm

I’m gonnstop bc ladS I lovE DOYOUNG SO MUCH 💖💖💖

[lycanrox]

response to aidens post lol

Thanks for forcing me into a relationship and making me fall for you because of your temporary affection if-Tearing me apart internally when I KNEW I was not good enough, when I KNEW we were not going to last because you always had someone better. You gave me false hope and tore me up and used my body just for you to help you out. gonna copy nd paste then post my response ok cool

-Guilt trip and gaslight when you thought I was going to get with someone else, people making compliments towards me got you into a rage fit. You never apologized for always getting pissed when I never did shit and you take compliments all the time. 

i never tried to guilt trip. i told you many times its ok to get with someone else. you literally dated someone else and i was ok with it. it wasnt compliments i was upset over, you literally had people saying they were in love with you. thats really weird to me. i was scared to be abandoned. people dont compliment me, all i have is my boyfriend and my qpp. maybe my close friends compliment me but its not a big deal. did i freak out over ur friends calling u daddy and shit? why should u get upset over people doing that to me?

-Manipulating everyone to know only your side, ignoring my sincere apologies, calling them bullshit, ignoring the fact that I never did those things again and told you to call me out. You barely did, but I did always stop when you told me to.

literally i already said. He sat there with me as youd text me and fight with me. you went to Her, my fp, to complain about me without telling her my side. everyone who ive talked to has seen all of it. i give people my phone and let them read everything since even before we broke up. im not scared to show my side. 

-Controlling me, telling me to do everything and give you love all the time and you literally did that all the time. “I hate myself I want to die”, was that not manipulation, when I always try to comfort you? But, you pushed me away and said you never asked. I was extremely supportive in your times of misery and self harm, what have you ever done for me?

how did i control you? i didnt tell you to do shit. saying “love me” as a joke isnt controlling. i wanted attention, god forbid. you do the same to me. “i hate myself i want to die” is literally just me self loathing, how is that manipulation??? i was venting to you because i trust you. i appreciated the comfort but yes i never wanted help. help is not what i want, i dont want to be in the hospital, i dont want to be put on new meds, i dont want a support group i just want to feel less alone.

-Calling me abusive for literally nothing, for “months” I have apparently abused you when A) I never fucking harmed you, a gentle push I guess which I thoroughly apologized for, but nah it’s all bullshit according to you and B) You have done manipulative and abusive things to me like: Forcing me to do things with you, making me have to kiss you within the first 5 days because you were so sad, trying to talk sexually to me when I was not ready but I got into it because that is what YOU wanted, exhausting my limits to how much you wanted from me, expecting me to love on you and care for you when you are always talking about how many feelings you have for someone else, putting me into a poly relationship without my consent the second time, always having some shit to complain about because I cannot be perfect, pinning me against my friends, and the list goes on.

if like 10 different people are calling you abusive its probably true, dude. you did harm me. you ignored the fact i literally said you punched me. you never apologized for that. i was fucking upset over it and you just sat there and watchd me tear up and curl in a ball. you tried to fucking excuse yourself for it. “I deal with things irrationally, I live in a family that physically hits each other, and it was a blur I cannot just stop and think. I did not blame him for being scared? I said it isn’t my fault and it doesn’t mean I havent gone through things either.” literal quote from you. “...it was aggressive but gentle...” another literal quote. 

i never forced you to. in fact it was always you texting me about how horny you are, you made an nsfw blog so i could see the shit you put on there, you were the first person to make sexual advances. i told you i get sex repulsed sometimes and you apparently dont even remember that because at least 3 times a week you talked to me about being horny and what was i supposed to do? you would be at my house and tell me how much you wanted to fuck, you said literally “i cant wait for after-prom sex” and i didnt let you stay the night because of that. you were the one who always wanted sex. i never forced you to do anything, you were the one who touched me without consent. i didnt make you kiss me. before we were even dating you talked about kissing me all the time. you asked me to teach you how to kiss, so yeah like .. 5 days after we started dating you spent the night and we kissed like 3 times. it wasnt that big of a deal. you asked for it. the first time we sexually talked all i said was i wanted to give you hickeys and you asked to sext, so we did. 

poly relationship w/o consent? when we first started dating i was already dating oliver. when we broke up, again, i was dating oliver so when you ASKED ME OUT again you knew i was still with them. no force. when did i ever pin you against your friends? the only person i ever said shit abt was p**** because he was getting too obsessive when you were uncomfy, and you encouraged me to do that.

-You made me believe that all I was ever doing was WRONG, and I have told you that five trillion times, and you never did anything to help that. I know I was not wrong for trying to be supportive even though I was triggered to death, but you made me feel like I was a fucking nuisance in your life.

how??? i did everything i could to tell you how great of a boyfriend you were. i told you every day how much i loved you. how perfect you were. i didnt do shit, you were the one who made me feel like shit every day because i wasnt physically or mentally able to suit your romantic needs. 

-Blaming me for all your damn mistakes, I got defensive because it was never me, blaming me for being paranoid when you did things and hinted at things to provoke that, and your paranoia was never apologized for either. Even in the beginning, I apologized for being paranoid and it took a long ass time for that to come back because you are so unpredictable and you were never clear with any of the things you said. 

yes i admit i have trouble owning up to my own mistakes. im sorry that i blamed you for things. you dont deserve that. im mature enough to own up and apologize for that. i dont know what i did to make you paranoid but im sorry that that happened. i am unpredictable. i know. yikes at me

-Vaguely saying you did some things wrong too but hiding behind your illnesses as well, not even asking me what you could have done better. You want the cold hard truth? You are getting it. Yes, I was supportive of what you had and I guess I am ableist for trying to help you to change. I WAS SO ABLEIST for wanting the absolute bare minimum. You already said we were just becoming friends at that stage, and the fact of the matter is, you hurt the shit out of me.

i try not to hide behind my illnesses but i really cant help some things because of my illnesses. i tried asking what i could do. i tried doing what you wanted. you are ableist tbqh because i told you i COULDNT DO THE THINGS YOU WANTED but you pushed me every day to fucking do it and when i broke down and apoligzed for not being able to do it you made me feel like ABSOLUTE SHIT!!! i was the worst bf ever bc i cant do some romantic things sometimes!!!!! yikes im so problematic for being disabled!!

-You become avoidant to self harm and don’t fucking apologize for pushing people away. You always told me you were here for me when I needed help but you never actually listened to me. I never jumped straight into things, sorry if you believe that. I always said I was feeling terrible and you decided to expand.

i dont have to apologize for pushing people away if its whats best for me mentally. i am 100% sure in that. i always ask whats wrong because i care about you but when i dont know what youre going to say its a 50/50 chance ill get triggered and if im triggered i cant really think properly!! i get flashbacks and anxiety attacks when i see even specfic words. ive told you before its not great to depend on me for that stuff. that im always here for you but im here to listen, not to help. i cant help myself, how can i help you?

-Saying you were fine all the time, lying to me when something was wrong, I always had to find out from someone else about what you have done.

wow yikes i didnt tell you when i felt shitty because i didnt want to trigger you. yikes because i dont want your help or advice sometimes. i want people to listen but you never JSUT listen you have some styff to say and while some ppl like that i dont!! i dont like being told how to think or feel or what to do

-Abusing your medications and getting high when I first broke up with you, saying you got dumped, implying you didn’t deserve it when you never deserved me. I spent over $200 dollars on your boyfriend’s medical bills, but I am careless and unkind I suppose.

i was already abusing my medications :-/ i never called you careless or unkind but ok

-Tearing me apart internally when I KNEW I was not good enough, when I KNEW we were not going to last because you always had someone better. You gave me false hope and tore me up and used my body just for you to help you out.

what did i ever do to make you feel not good enough lol. not do the things i said before i cant do? i didnt use your body, not once not ever. dont even start that shit. you know my history of rape and sexual abuse. what the actual fuck. 

-Again, since you cannot get it through your selfish mind, you never owned up for ANYTHING you have done, and guess what? I only do what people do to me. So, you treating me bad, I tried to forgive you and become collected, but you pushed me to where I thought I was stuck in the relationship. Why? Because if I left, you would become suicidal, if you left, you would want to come back immediately.

i tried owning up to things and ive apologized for many things i shouldnt have had to. tbqh ive wanted to break up since like.. right after prom bc the way you were being so i wouldnt have been suicidal if you left. yeah i wouldve been upset if i left because its hard for me to detach myself from people

You have no idea what you did, you have no idea what you were doing.

lol u rite

People defending your disgusting actions are no better than you are, you only exclude what you have done to make yourself seem innocent. 

people excusing you for hitting me and sexually abusing me and manipulating and gaslighting me are worse than people supporting me. i was maybe bad to you to combat myself from you hurting me!! i dont want to fucking get hurt again so when you do something shitty i have to do something shitty in return! 

Thanks for forcing me into a relationship and making me fall for you because of your temporary affection 

you asked me out both times. 

I asked you all the damn time if you wanted space, but you said “No, it’s fine,” when you damn well knew it wasn’t. Why are you such a blatant liar?

i didnt want to hurt you by leaving you alone.

Oh and also, when you “broke up” with your boyfriend of two years for me, but always texting endearing things to them when we were together, how cute of you to do that.

we did break up. yeah i fucking missed them though. its hard for me to detach. but i wasnt seeing them behind your back. you know very well it was sho who was dating oliver, not me. i text them endearing things because theyre my fp/dp and i love them. 

anything abusive ive done i literally didnt mean to do. youre the one whos just now pushing all this shit on me. dont accuse me of being abusive when you didnt tell me when these things made you upset. i didnt fucking know. i cant read minds. i cant do any of that shit. i also dont have empathy and cant think of other peoples emotions so its hard for me to think about how/if my actions are affecting people, unless they fuckign tell me. which you didnt. instead, you just told me how fucking shitty i was. i was an awful boyfriend, im using you, im cheating, im not good enough, i cant satisfy you. i guess i was so bad you just had to start dating that other guy, and as you said, because “he can give you things i cannot give”. jeez im so FUCKING sorry.