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urfavhecate · 2 days ago

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I’ve been waiting for too long | drunk!Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: After your breakup with Wanda, Natasha takes care of you… good care…

Warnings: oneshot, drunk Natasha, SMUT, +18, MDNI ! drunk sex, breakup mention, short one, oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), multiple orgasm, kinda overstimulation.

Note: Hey guy, it has been long time since last post. As always… English isn’t my first language sp im sorry for all mistakes. This year I have my finals so it’s hard to find time for hobbies but I hope I’ll find more time to write some stuff. If you have any ideas for next shots or stories m requests are open, or if you want to yapp a little I’m also here. <3

No one is allowed to copy, translate or pubish my work as their own!

The life of an Avengers was never easy. As soon as you started your relationship with Wanda, you felt like you had found everything you needed, almost like you had grabbed God by the legs. However, as it quickly turned out, nothing lasts forever, because a few months later Wanda broke up with you.

It was one of those evenings when the Avengers tower seemed empty. While everyone else was busy with their own things, Natasha was sitting in the living room drinking her beer. When she saw you enter the room, she handed you a bottle so you could rest a bit.

„Have a drink and relax” she simply said. You thanked her and fell down on the couch next to Natasha. She just looked at you, knowing something was wrong. "Rough day?" she asked with a stoic face.

“Wanda broke up with me,” you replied quietly, your voice breaking at the thought of what had happened. “She chose that fucking toaster on legs over me.”

Natasha couldn’t help but giggle softly at the comment. “Vision you mean?”

“i don’t get it… what did i do wrong?”

Natasha’s smirk disappeared from her face. She leaned back on the couch, and she sighed before she could muster up a response. “Maybe you didn’t do anything… Sometimes its about what people want or don’t want”

“But him?! Really?! What did he have what i don’t?” You were irritated just thinking about him. He was a robot, he wasn’t even human.

"Beats me... He can fly and shoot lasers from his head" Natasha laughed again "You know... not everyone has good taste"

You laughed softly as you started to question whether or not he had a metal dick. You started to joke as Natasha smiled knowing that she cheered you up a bit, she didn't like seeing you down. Your relationship had always been weird. It wasn't just friendly flirting, but you never talked about what was between you, pretending that you were just friends and worked together.

“I think we should find you a new hobby because I don’t want to picture his metal dick again” The redhead laughed.

“I have one idea… We could always go to a bar”

It wasn’t long before you ended up at one of the nearby bars, drinking and dancing. A few shots and drinks later, you both were visibly tipsy, the alcohol was taking effect. Natasha’s usual composure loosened as her inhibitions lowered, her gaze more carefree and lighthearted. She leaned back against the barstool, studying you with a lazy smirk on her face.

“What?” you giggled noticing she was staring at you.

“Nothing… You just a lot more fun when youre drunk” she answered letting inner thoughts threaten to spill out.

When you finished on the dance floor, your bodies moved together in perfect harmony, you danced and your bodies rubbed against each other. She let her hand drift to your hip, pulling you even closer to her. Her eyes met yours, dark with mix of intoxication and desire.

“You're beautiful you know that?” you mumbled moving closer to her, your lips were now just inches apart.

“Am I?” she murmured softly, her voice a low seductive purr “Or is that just the alcohol talking”

“you are hot as fuck” Natasha's smirk turned cocky as her eyes burned with desire. She gently pushed you backwards until your back hit the wall, trapping you against it with the weight of her body. Her hand moved from your hip to your chin, tipping your face up to meet her gaze. Natasha chuckled, her body pressing against yours, her hand still holding your chin, her gaze boring into yours. She leaned in, her lips brushing against your earlobe, her voice a heady whisper in your ear.

"You don't know what you're asking for," she muttered huskily, her free hand roaming over the fabric of your clothes. "I can make you feel things you've never felt before." Wanda wasn’t really dominant so this was new and exiting at the same time.

Natasha dragged you into a taxi and you headed back to the tower. Throughout the whole way, you couldn't keep your hands to yourselves, wandering over the other woman's body.

Natasha's patience had reached its limit. The moment the elevator doors closed behind you, she punted. She slammed you against the wall, her body trapping yours, her gaze smoldering with desire.

"I can't wait anymore," she panted, her hands roaming all over your body, touching you with a desperate need. Her lips found your neck, kissing and nipping, leaving a trail of heated affection “I’ve been waiting for too long”

You moaned when her lips touched your neck and your fingers tangled with her hair. Natasha hummed against your neck, the sound a mixture of approval and desire. Your moan sent a jolt of arousal through her body, fueling her need to feel your skin against hers. Her hands roamed freely over your body, slipping under your clothes, seeking more contact, more flesh. Her kisses moved up until her lips found yours, capturing them in a passionate, demanding kiss.

When you got out of the elevator, Natasha immediately pushed you against the wall. Natasha groaned when you wrapped your leg around her waist, the action bringing your bodies even closer together. She ground her hips against you, the movement hard and desperate, her need for you becoming almost primal. She broke the kiss just long enough to let out a ragged exhale, her breath mingling with yours. "I want you. Now."

“Say it again... please….” You moaned. Natasha's hand gripped your hip, her fingers digging into your flesh as she pushed you harder against the wall. She leaned in, her lips brushing against your ear, her voice a low, sinful whisper.

"I want you. I need you. Now." Her hand slid up the length of your thigh, hooking your leg over her hip, the movement more possessive than ever before. "You understand?"

At that moment, you didn't care about the breakup or that anyone could see you two. Natasha's sloppy kisses were driving you crazy, so you dragged her to your room. Natasha pushed you onto the bed, climbing on top of you and pinning your hands above your head.

"Wanda never dominated you huh?" Natasha smiled knowing it was true. "Baby with me you'll feel things you could only dream of with Wanda"

A moment later they ended up naked in your bed. Natasha moved lower kissing your chest, your stomach and finally ending between those legs. She couldn't help herself and ran her tongue through your wet folds. She moaned loudly at the taste of you on her tongue.

"oh god... you taste so good"

Your fingers tangled in her hair holding her where you needed her the most. Her tongue moved faster and faster, and you squirmed beneath her. Natasha grabbed your thighs to keep you in place. She continued to eat your pussy like it was her last meal. She was hungry for your taste. It wasn't long before she added her fingers, pushing two of them roughly into your pussy. You moaned with pleasure, wanting more. You tugged at her hair, holding her between your shaking legs. Her movements were still sloppy from the alcohol. She mumbled something under her breath as she gently sucked on your clit.

"I’m… I’m gonna... cum... Natasha please… can I cum?" you moaned. Your body trembled as you ere closer to the pleasure, as Natasha’s fingers curled inside you, finding that sweet spot.

"Good girl, asking for permission... such a submissive good girl." Natasha mumbled, pushing another finger into your pussy "Cum for me baby"

It wasn't long before you came on Natasha's face. The redhead lapped up your juices, not wanting to waste a single drop. Her face was covered in your orgasm and her eyes still held a hunger. Her pupils were much larger and her irises were a darker shade of green.

“Nat… Natasha… oh god… fuck…!”

“Good girl, scream my name… my good girl” she kept mumbling.

As you came down from your high, you thought Natasha would pull away to kiss you, but she continued eating your pussy. She couldn't hold back, it only took a moment for her to become addicted to your taste. Natara's free hand pressed gently against your lower abdomen.

"Natasha...tooo sensitve..." you tried to pull away but Natasha held you in place.

"Don't you dare move. Just one more"

Natasha continued fucking you not paying attention to the overwhelming pleasure that was spreading throughout your body. Life mattered to your cheeks. Your legs shook as Natasha's fingers moved in and out at a rapid pace. You squirmed, moaning her name like a prayer.

"I can't...I can't…" You kept screaming.

"You can do it baby....You'll feel so good..."

“Tell me when you belong to… Tell me you’re mine…” She softly bit your clit.

“I’m yours… only yours…”

As you came a second time Natasha smiled and kissed your forehead. Her hands moved to your breasts. “I’m not done with you yet”

#wlw #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #scarlett johansson x y/n #scarlett johansson #blackwidow #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff smut #oneshot #the avengers #smut #fanfiction #natasha smut #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #marvel #nat x reader #lesbian

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dafterdarling · 5 hours ago

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perfect for you // alexia putellas

alexia putellas x hockey!reader

warnings: fluff, mentions of injuries, minor angst, everything going wrong before it goes right

summary: Ingrid sets you up on a date- just you don't know who with

word count: 2043

a/n: while i wait for the poll to be done, here is some Alexia fixing your life :)

The whole move to Barcelona was tragic and at this point you just wanted to pack up, move back to Norway and speak to absolutely no one- forever.

After tearing your rotator cuff to the point of no return, you had been forced to take an early retirement at 27 which broke your heart completely. You practically lived and breathed hockey since you could walk and you had refused to do any other sport for your entire life, so to one day just suddenly not be able to play- it broke you.

You became a shut in, contacted absolutely no one unless in a dire situation. Your relationship ended with a screaming match that left you with a hoarse voice and half of your furniture gone, most of your friends had been your teammates- and maybe they were just your teammates because the second you no longer played, they no longer checked in.

So you were lonely, miserable and living in an apartment without a TV stand or a sofa when Ingrid called.

Ingrid being one of the only friends you had outside of hockey- the two of you had met in kindergarten and practically grew up as next door neighbours. So she was probably the only one who could help you get out of this hole you'd dug for yourself.

Her plan? You move to Barcelona, something that you were greatly against because: One, you cannot speak Spanish to save your life, two, Spain is far too hot when it's supposed to be cold and that's when your reasons ended because in theory, you had absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.

So eventually, Ingrid convinces you to move to Spain and you follow through. Pack all your clothes, sell the furniture that brings back bad memories and don't renew your lease with the nice landlady.

Except the move is bad, horrific, tragic- you could go on. It started with your first flight being cancelled due to weather then the next- so you had to rot in the airport for six additional hours before finally boarding a flight to Barcelona.

The fight... is horrible- a child with the manners of a zoo animal kicks your seat repeatedly and your headphones are out of charge, so you're forced to listen to the cries of babies and passenger announcements.

Your only bag is lost for a brief period of two hours and you regret agreeing to Ingrid's idea for all two hours of waiting- Once you finally receive your bag, you get to see Ingrid outside the airport at the meet and greet section.

You immediately drop your bag and hug her because you truly can't remember the last time you saw her in person and not over some pixelated phone screen. She hugs you back with the same enthusiasm and the two of you stay like that for a while until Ingrid remembers about the parking fee.

The two of you climb into the car after shoving your bag in the trunk and Ingrid turns the radio on, it's some Spanish radio show that you don't understand and don't really care about.

"How are you?" Ingrid asks, still focused on the busy roads.

You let out a deep sigh-

"Oh no, that doesn't sound good," She laughs.

"Everything is going wrong for me today- two planes cancelled, some kid kicks my seat and my bag gets lost," You grumble out and arms put arms over your chest in frustration.

"What have I done wrong, Ingrid?"

"Nothing, Y/N," She hums out and you can't help but shake your head.

"I swear-"

"Listen to me, everything is going to get better," Ingrid tries to reassure you and you calm down slightly.

"So..." You start,

"How is Mapi?"

Ingrid chuckles and you spend the rest of the way talking about what's happening in her life rather than yours- She's still playing at Barca, Mapi's fine, Bagheera is thriving and she's happy. That's all you really want to know- and her saying it lights up your crappy day a bit.

It doesn't last long because after Ingrid drops you off and helps you settle into the apartment even though you tell her repeatedly that she doesn't need to, she leaves. Which means you're alone and left to you know devices.

You can't do much because by the time you're in your new home it's dark and putting furniture together at ten at night doesn't seem wise. Instead, you order pizza from the only place that speaks English in the vicinity and sit on your new mattress. You eat probably the greasiest pizza you've ever touched while watching hockey highlights.

You fall asleep soon after, wishing that you could get back on the ice.

It takes you two weeks to fully settle into your new apartment, putting together most of the furniture alone is a pain even if you put together the most difficult things with the help of Ingrid and Mapi. By the end, your house looks more like Ikea than an actual place with everything perfectly matching but you could care less because there are more important things to focus on like finding a job.

Job hunting in Norway had been difficult but finding a decent job in Spain was proving to be ten times harder- not only because you don't speak very much Spanish but also because you basically have no work experience.

So when you find an ad that, after translating, is at an ice rink, you jump at the opportunity. You somehow get the job and you finally get to spend your days sharpening blades on rental skates and creating schedules on excel rather than rotting at home.

Everything seems to be going good for a while, you make some friends with some of the regular skaters and go out with Ingrid at least once a week. Mapi tries to teach you Spanish and you actually feel like you're learning.

All is good until Ingrid calls you on Thursday at nine pm while you're re-watching your favourite Norwegian drama.

"Hey," You pick up and smile to yourself, wondering what Ingrid wanted to do this weekend.

Instead, she hits you with a bombshell,

"Hey, Y/N, are you free tomorrow after work?"

You nod as you reply, "Yeah, I should be, why?"

"Well- I have a date planned for you."

You freeze because what does Ingrid mean she has a date planned for you? You didn't ask to be set up- actually, you didn't want a date. You were perfectly happy alone, living your life in Barcelona, hanging out with Ingrid and her girlfriend, working at the rink. There was no need for dating- or a singular date.

"What- Ingrid," You stutter out.

"Before you say no-"

"No,"

"Please listen to me?" She pleads through the phone and your heart softens slightly because it's Ingrid.

"Fine,"

"Okay, so, she's Mapi's friend- best friend, she's sweet and super nice. We think you'll get along."

You sigh because of course Ingrid is scheming when everything is going good.

"Who is we?"

"Mapi and I-"

"Well, that's great," You scoff, there was no need for one person to be involved- let alone two.

"Come on- have you dated anyone since-"

"Don't, Ingrid," You say coldly because you really don't want to rehash your last relationship right now.

"Okay, okay... please consider it? She's super nice, you'll like her."

You swallow nervously and consider it. You hadn't dated anyone since your ex, Nora, and truth be told, you didn't really want to- not until Ingrid called you, it made you realise just how empty your apartment is and maybe just how much you rely on Ingrid and Mapi to keep you afloat.

"Err- okay, fine, I'll go."

You hear Ingrid chuckles then say something to Mapi in English,

"I'll send you all the details, okay?"

That's how you end up in a nice restaurant the next day. You're wearing your nicest clothes and you've put triple the amount of effort into your hair and makeup before coming here.

You look around the place as you wait for your mystery date to arrive. The place is nice- clearly a little upscale- but still has that homely environment that all good restaurants have.

You take a sip of your water and scan again- then suddenly someone is standing in front of the other seat at the table,

"Y/N?"

It's a woman and she's beautiful- you don't think you've seen anyone so wonderful gorgeous. She's wearing a low cut shirt with a blazer and tailored trousers but she could be wearing a trash bag and you'd think she was stunning.

"Hi- I mean, hola... err, yes, Y/N, that's me," You stumble over your words as she sits down.

She chuckles and orders something to drink when the waiter comes over immediately,

"I'm Alexia," She- Alexia, introduces herself.

Your mouth is suddenly very dry, "That's- that's a beautiful name,"

It slips out before you can stop it and you flush red at Alexia's shocked expression. Then you relax when she laughs and looks just as red as you.

"Thank you,"

She takes a sip of her drink and you do that same, locking eyes in the process.

"So-"

"You're-"

You both start and stop,

"You first," You gesture to Alexia and she nods,

"You're Ingrid's friend?"

"Yeah, known her a long time,"

You continue when Alexia doesn't follow up,

"I've just moved here- maybe... four weeks ago now?"

"From Norway?"

You nod and the waiter comes just as Alexia is about to ask another question- you order whatever the top dish is, you don't really care about the food. Not when Alexia has just walked into your life.

"Can-"

There's a pause and neither of you speak for a moment,

"Can I ask why?"

You knew this would come up- Of course if you mentioned just moving, she would ask why.

"I- I played hockey for a while, then I tore my rotator cuff... and couldn't play anymore- It's been a lot and Ingrid convinced me to move here. To start fresh,"

You finish rambling and meet Alexia's eyes- It's the first time someone looks at you like they understand, like they've felt your pain, like they've been that scared too.

Sure, Ingrid would listen to you cry and sooth you when you first got injured- but she hadn't been there. Hadn't suffered an injury at the apex of her career that ultimately ruined it.

"I tore my ACL in 2022- I thought I wasn't going to get through the rehab... All I wanted to do was play with my people- I've recovered now but... I understand you."

You try not to tear up because you feel so seen that it's illuminating.

"Do you play with Ingrid?" You ask, mainly out of curiosity because Ingrid didn't really discuss her teammate with you.

"I'm her captain,"

You stop in your tracks and laugh loudly- only Ingrid and Mapi would set you up with their captain.

The rest of the dinner goes fantastic and by the end of it you don't think you've ever been on a better date in your life. Alexia offers to drive you back and you take the opportunity straight away.

You get into Alexia's car and she drives you through the streets of Barcelona to your apartment- she even walks you all the way up to your apartment and you're suddenly faced with the door to your home.

"This is me," You turn to face Alexia and she smiles at you and your heart does a flip.

You don't know why you ask but you do anyway-

"Can I kiss you?"

Alexia looks a little taken aback for a second before a little pink dusts her cheeks and she nods.

You take the opportunity and kiss her- she tastes sweet and you wish you could stay in this moment forever with her plush lips against yours in front of your door.

You both pull away with a little red on your cheeks and you want to keep the image forever.

"Goodnight, Alexia."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

And with that you gently shut the door with a flushed face. Maybe Ingrid was right? Alexia was perfect for you.

#woso x reader #barca femeni #fc barcelona femeni #woso #woso fanfics #woso community #alexia putellas x reader #woso imagine #alexia putellas imagine #ingrid engen

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dearstvckyx · 2 days ago

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The Ones Who Knew - NH13 (ft. Hischier Family , Jesper Bratt)

summary: after the proposal nina hischier exposes she and two of nico’s teammates knew about it all along.

pairings: nico hischier x reader / jesper bratt x reader / hischier family x reader / jack hughes x reader /

. 　⁺ 　 . ⁺ 　 . 　⁺ 　 . ⁺ 　 . 　⁺ 　 . ⁺ 　 . 　⁺ 　 .

The moment Nico slipped the ring onto your finger, the world seemed to explode around you. His teammates were cheering, fans were screaming, and somewhere in the chaos, Jack Hughes was loudly declaring, “ABOUT TIME!”

But before you could even process it all, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you—Katja Hischier, pulling you into the warmest, tightest hug.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “We have been waiting for this moment for so long. Welcome to the family—officially.”

Your heart clenched as you hugged her back, feeling the weight of her words settle deep in your chest. You’d always felt like a part of their family, but now? Now, it was real.

Before you could say anything, Rino Hischier stepped forward, his usual reserved demeanor softening as he placed a firm hand on Nico’s shoulder. He turned to you with a rare, proud smile.

“You make him happy,” he said simply. “That’s all we could ever ask for.”

Your fingers curled tighter around Nico’s, your emotions threatening to spill over again. “And he makes me happy.”

The moment was interrupted by a loud groan. “Finally!”

You barely had time to react before Nico’s younger brother, Luca, practically tackled you in a hug before shaking his brother’s shoulders. “Seriously, I was starting to think you’d wait until retirement to do this.”

“Hey!” Nico protested, laughing as he shoved him back.

Luca smirked. “I mean, I knew from the first time I met her that she was stuck with us forever. Guess I was right.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” you teased, making Luca chuckle.

Then, just as you thought you could catch your breath, Nina burst forward, practically vibrating with excitement.

“Oh my god, do you have any idea how hard this was to keep a secret?” she blurted, grabbing your hands to stare at the ring on your finger.

Your eyes widened. “Wait… you knew?”

“Of course I knew!” she exclaimed. “Me, Jack, and Jesper were the only ones Nico told! And do you know how impossible it is to not slip when you talk to someone every day?”

Jesper Bratt appeared beside her, laughing as he threw an arm around Nico’s shoulders. “I deserve a medal for keeping my mouth shut,” he joked. “I almost slipped, like, a hundred times.”

Nico chuckled, shaking his head. “I was half-expecting Jack to ruin it somehow.”

Jesper smirked. “Oh, we all were. But lucky for you, he was too busy talking about himself to notice.”

Nina rolled her eyes before turning back to you, her expression softening. “But seriously, I’m so happy for you guys. You’ve been part of our family forever, but now it’s official. And I couldn’t imagine anyone better for my brother.”

Your heart swelled as she pulled you into a tight hug, and you let yourself sink into the moment.

Nico looked around at the people who meant the most to him—his teammates, his family, and the love of his life standing right beside him, wearing the ring he had picked out months ago.

And as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close despite the roaring crowd, he knew one thing for certain.

This? This was everything he had ever dreamed of. And the someday came true.

main story

#jesper bratt x reader #nico hischer x reader #nina hischier x reader #Luca hischier x reader #jesper bratt #nico hischier #nina hischier #Luca hischier #nh13 #nj devils #new jersey devils #nhl write

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halsteadlover · 14 hours ago

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𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

*Pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by @dandelionfairyyy: Where Jay and reader accidentally hook up, but happen to need to work together so he tries to talk with her about what happened, but she just wants to avoid and forget it. That turns out into a fight, until it bursts out of her like “I am terrified you’ll say it was a one time thing!” With lots of fluff in the end?

• Warnings: curse words, sex (there are just few scenes in the flashback but they are descriptive so READ ONLY IF YOU’RE 18+) and I don’t know what else honestly let me know if I missed any lol

• Word count: 3995.

• A/N: I don’t know what to think about this one to be fair 😭 I hope you’ll like it please give em your feedback if you want! I’m trying to get back to writing so I hope to post as many fics as possible. Love you all ❤️

The sun’s rays hit your eyes through the window’s cracks, making you blink several times.

You looked around.

The unfamiliar ceiling made your senses go on high alert, momentarily disoriented and confused about where you were. You sat up in bed, a single sheet covering your naked body and that was enough to bring back all the memories of last night like a raging river.

You froze, afraid to make any kind of movement or even to turn your gaze to the person lying on that bed next to you. But you didn’t need to see that figure lying with his back to you, also naked.

How the hell did that happen?

How did you end up in bed with Jay Halstead?

Memories after memories of the previous night continued to play over and over in your mind. It was a mess, a complete mess but it was the most beautiful night of your life.

You tried not to cry.

How could you go on after this? How could you work with him and pretend like nothing happened? Pretend you weren’t madly in love with your coworker who you happened to have sex with?

You turned to Jay, noticing with relief he was still asleep, since you weren’t able to face him especially at that moment.

A smile appeared on your lips even though you couldn’t see him as you tried to suppress the desire to get closer to him, to caress his hair, leave kisses on his face, to hug him like you always wanted.

For a moment, a single moment, you let yourself wander in the illusion you two were a couple. That he’d soon wake up and pull you into his arms, preventing you from moving and going anywhere, that eventually you’d get out of bed and make breakfast together, you only wearing one of his shirts, and then getting ready and go to work together.

You let out a sigh and got out of bed, still sore and trying to be as quiet as possible. You quickly got dressed and you casted one last glance at the man who had made you lose your mind so much before leaving, not knowing if you’d ever be able to have this sight again.

That night had changed everything.

You didn’t know how you’d manage to keep your feelings at bay from now on, especially since you two worked together and you couldn’t avoid him forever.

You always had feelings for Jay, ever since you had joined the team. You had established a deep relationship from the beginning and, given the nature of your work, you found yourselves working together very often and very close. This had led you to often confiding in each other, spending time together, to establish a friendship that inevitably on your part had transformed into something else.

You never had the courage to confess your love, not wanting to risk losing your beautiful friendship. It was important to you, he was one of the most important people of your life, so you did nothing but look at him from afar and imagine a future with him that would never happen.

You immediately dove into work as soon as you arrived at the Unit, trying to keep your mind occupied and not think about Jay and the amazing night you had.

“I want you so fucking much,” he whispered as his lips captured yours in a breathtaking kiss. His arms wrapped around your hips, pulling you as close to his body as possible while your hands were in his hair.

His tongue explored every inch of your mouth as your lips moved in sync, as if this was always meant to be. He pushed you against the wall as his hands roamed every inch of your body he could reach, hungry, longing to touch your skin.

“Oh my god Jay please…” you sighed with pleasure when his lips moved to your neck, making you arch your back as he started sucking and nibbling on a particular spot that was making you lose your mind.

“Yeah baby, I can’t wait to hear you scream for me…”

“Y/n!”.

Kim’s voice brought you back to reality, making you wake up from the memories of the previous night that were haunting your mind.

How could you move on from that? How could you work when everything reminded you of him?

“Huh? What?”.

“I asked you if you wanted coffee?” Kim asked again with an amused tone. “What has you so lost in your thoughts today?”

If only you knew, Kim.

You tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible, not wanting to give away any clues as to what had happened. The last thing you needed was for the rest of the team to find out you and Jay had sex, since they already didn’t give you a break.

“You two should be together, I don’t know what you’re waiting for.”

“You look so cute together such a beautiful couple!”

“How can you say there’s nothing between you and Jay? Have you seen the way that man looks at you? Or the way you look at him? C’mon.”

And this happened almost everyday. Single. Day. And imagine being in love with your coworker and hearing your other coworkers saying this. Let’s just say it wasn’t helpful at all.

You nodded, smiling. “Thanks.”

You got up and went to the break room with her, where you chatted for a bit waiting for the rest of the team to arrive.

When Jay arrived at the Intelligence, a look of disappointment crossed his features as he noticed your jacket hanging on your chair, meaning you were already there.

He couldn’t help but be disappointed and confused, not expecting to not find you the morning after you had sex. He couldn’t suppress the feeling of anxiety that gripped his stomach, having no idea how you’d react and what to expect.

Were you going to pretend nothing happened? Or tell him not to talk to you ever again?

The thought immediately broke his heart and made his insides tighten even more. He didn’t deny what had happened, it had been nothing short of the best night of his life.

He went to the break room, ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat as he saw you sipping your coffee and talking to Kim in the meantime. The air suddenly became heavier, almost suffocating as you both pretended the other didn’t exist if it wasn’t for the initial glance you had thrown at each other.

A tight feeling in your stomach made you almost drop the cup from your hands when your eyes fell on him. He was as beautiful as the sun, dressed all in black with a sweater that fit him perfectly and showed off his muscles and a pair of black jeans that fit perfectly around his hips and along his slender legs. Once again, the memory of all the moments spent with him the night before invaded your mind.

Kim was the first to speak to him. “Good morning Jay. There’s some coffee left if you want.”

You used every fiber of your body to divert your attention from him, taking a sip of coffee as you felt your cheeks heat up and get redder with every second that passed.

You were nervous.

You didn’t know how to act and you hated it, you hated not knowing what to do especially with Jay, with one of the closest people to you, the person you were secretly in love with.

But you were just afraid that after sex he’d end it, you were afraid of losing him and your friendship. Because as much as it hurt to just look at him from afar, you would’ve preferred a life of just friendship than not having him in your life at all.

“Oh yeah thanks, I need it after last night,” he replied in a calm tone and hid a smirk when he saw you cough as you choked on your coffee.

Asshole.

Kim chuckled, pouring some coffee into a clean cup and then handing it to Jay, who continued to look at you sideways waiting to get your attention.

“What happened last night?” she asked curiously.

Jay shrugged. “I just didn’t get much sleep,” he replied, skipping over the part where you’d spent most of the night fucking.

“I’m going to finish the case report from yesterday,” you said before putting your cup down and walking out of the break room, suddenly feeling suffocated by Jay’s presence. You knew Kim immediately understood something happened, you blatantly gave it away but you didn’t care, you just wanted to get away.

Your eyes met Jay’s for a second, just a fraction of a second, but it was enough to send shivers down your spine and make your stomach twist in a knot.

You let out a sigh and headed towards the bathroom in an attempt to calm yourself down.

As you placed your hands on the sink, you took a few deep breaths. You hadn’t even spoken to him and he’d left you in a whirlwind of emotions you didn’t know which one to listen to first.

The previous night kept replay in your mind over and over again, and you couldn’t help but think how much everything had changed in the span of not even 24 hours.

You couldn’t look at him like he meant nothing, you couldn’t pretend you weren’t crazy in love with him, that just seeing him didn’t make your knees weak and heart race.

You were sure of your feelings but you weren’t sure of his. What did he think? How did he feel?

You didn’t have a chance to talk and it was killing you. Not knowing. The truth, though, was that you were terrified of talking to him. You knew you had to but the possibility of hearing he didn’t feel anything for you besides physical attraction and what had happened between you was only sex, paralyzed you.

You rinsed your face with some cold water before drying yourself with a paper towel, throwing it in the trash. Your breath caught in your throat when you exited the bathroom and your eyes met those green ones you were so obsessed about.

He was looking at you so intensely as if he wanted to read your mind and soul.

“Why are you avoiding me Y/n?” His voice was a mix of amusement and resentment and your stomach dropped at least ten stories.

You looked down at your shoes for a moment before looking at him again. “I’m not, why should I?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” he began, taking a step toward you. You took one back in return. “Maybe because you ran away before I woke up or the fact you haven’t even looked at me since I got here. You didn’t even say good morning.”

“I’m sorry Jay, I’m just busy and Voight will have my head if I don’t finish those case reports in time.”

He took another step forward and you took another step back, until your back hit the wall and there was no way you could run away.

“I don’t give a fuck about those reports,” he spoke and despite his low voice his words ran through your body like a knife. And the way his scent hit you fully didn’t help either.

God, I want him so much.

Jay was so close to you, you had to slowly tilt your head back to look at him. Anyone passing by would’ve seen you but it didn’t seem to matter to him, his attention focused solely on you as his eyes scanned every inch of your face.

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, you tried to control your breathing but it was no use, Jay’s presence was too much for you to even form a coherent thought.

“Jay, someone can see us.”

“Why did you leave?” He pressed on, completely ignoring your words. His gaze kept roaming over your face, occasionally lingering on your lips, and it was enough to make your knees weak.

“Why do you care?”

“Excuse me?” He furrowed his brows, looking at you as if you had said something blasphemous. “Why do I care? Are you serious? You’re the one avoiding me and you have the courage to ask me why do I care?”.

“Listen…” you took a deep breath and placed your hands on his chest to push him away, trying to ignore the fact that less than twenty-four hours ago your hands were on his bare chest as you rode him on his bed.

His hands palmed your breasts, squeezing them between, his fingers pinching your nipples as you kept riding his dick, letting him penetrate you so deeply, you could almost feel him in your stomach.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful, you drive me crazy,” he panted, his expression twisted with pleasure as he looked at you with such intensity it almost made you falter. Your hands were resting on his chest as they helped you gain leverage, your nails pressed hard into his perfect skin.

“Oh my God yes like that… You’re gonna make me come so hard Jay.”

He moved his hands down from your breasts to your ass, squeezing and slapping it so hard the force made you lean forward. His hips moved with yours and his mouth took over yours, in a kiss that left you completely breathless.

The thought alone made you blush and you prayed he wouldn’t notice but from the way he was smirking, you knew he caught you.

You immediately removed your hands, as if you were burned. “We have a job to do okay? We’ll talk later.” You continued before walking away and leaving him standing there, without giving him a chance to reply.

You knew you were being immature. A grown-up would’ve faced it, damn it everyone has sex, but you weren’t ready to hear Jay say it had been a mistake, that last night would never happen again.

The whole day went like this, you looking for any excuse to avoid Jay and him trying to push you at every possible moment. Luckily, a case had come up so you managed to keep yourself busy for most of the day and, above all, stayed away from him.

Despite this, however, he was always there. His eyes were always on you, you felt them whenever you were, trying to read inside you, you felt them on you every time you moved. His presence—even though he was far away from you—was overwhelming, filling every single space and inch of your mind.

You thought you had managed to avoid him for the day but when—shortly after you got home—you heard your doorbell ring, you immediately realized you’d claimed victory too soon.

Before you even looked through your peephole, you knew it was Jay and a pang gripped your stomach when you saw him through the peephole, still in his work clothes exactly like you, handsome and breathtaking as always.

You sighed deeply, knowing it’d be no use avoiding the inevitable. You had to be an adult and deal with what was coming your way.

You opened the door, trying to ignore the pounding of your heart that was so loud you could almost feel it leaping out of your chest. Jay’s eyes traveled down your body before landing on yours.

“Are you done avoiding me like the plague?” he asked sarcastically but with a less than happy expression.

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” you lied through your teeth and he snorted loudly before rolling his eyes and making his way into your house, not even waiting for your invitation.

I guess we really need to talk and he’s not leaving until we do.

“Y/n I’m getting tired of this game,” he snapped, the neutrality of his features now gone, giving way to anger. “You want to tell me what the hell is wrong with you?”

You sighed and closed the door behind you before walking towards the living room, him following you. “I’m sorry… It’s just…” You took a deep breath again, trying to gather all your thoughts.

“It’s just what? You regret it? You could’ve said that instead of acting like a child and avoiding me!” His voice slightly rose, his breathing quickening. “I’ve lost my mind all day trying to find an answer for your behavior! I—I thought we had a good time…”

“I did have a great time Jay oh my god… And of course I don’t regret it! How could I?! I just needed time to think!”

“Think about what? For fuck’s sake Y/n it’s me! I’m not a stranger you know you can talk to me about everything!”.

“I didn’t mean to leave you hanging, damn it!” You raised your voice too. “I was scared!”

“Speak up then! For fuck’s sake stop saying these half-assed sentences, you’re driving me crazy!” He went completely nuts, hands waving in the air as he let out all the frustration he was holding in. “Scared of what?! What the hell were you thinking about?!”

“Scared you’d tell me it was just a one time thing!”

Jay’s expression quickly changed to one of confusion and then pure shock.

“I didn’t want to face you because I was afraid it meant nothing to you… Shit, Jay… I wasn’t ready to hear you say it was just sex or… Or a mistake.”

At that point you were a raging river, uncontrollable. You couldn’t control your thoughts and the flow of words that were coming out of your mouth. “Because it wasn’t just sex for me. Fuck, I’m in love with you Jay, I’ve been for years, but I… I don’t want to get hurt and I know that would’ve happened if we had talked, that’s why I was avoiding you. I’m so sorry for how I acted but I… I’m just scared shitless of losing you and I’m not ready for—”

You suddenly stopped talking when he grabbed your face and pressed his lips to yours.

You froze for a moment, in disbelief of what was happening. You would’ve expected anything, shit you were already preparing yourself for the humiliation you’d feel hearing him say he didn’t feel the same for you, but this… This was beyond your imagination.

It was everything you hoped for, everything you desired.

You wrapped your arms around his chest, pressing your fingers into his back in an attempt to pull him closer. Your lips moved spontaneously against his, mimicking the same hunger, longing and frustration. It was messy, desperate, a kiss full of the words and unspoken feelings.

He slightly groaned against your mouth, as if he had been waiting for this moment all his life, deepening the kiss more and more. His slightly trembling fingers continued to cup your face, tilting your head for a better angle. There were no words to describe what you felt in that moment—that moment with him. Him, who tasted like coffee, like something warm and addictive, like the flavor that made you lose your mind and forget all sense of reason.

It was intoxicating. Him, the way he touched you, the way he kissed you, with so much passion and voracity as if he wanted to express what he had not been able to say with words.

When you finally pulled away, Jay rested his forehead on yours, close enough to brush your lips with his again. “Please don’t cry baby,” he whispered, pulling away from you just enough to wipe your tears with his thumbs. You were so emotional you hadn’t even realized it. “I can’t stand it, I don’t want to see you like this, especially because there’s no reason to.” He pressed another kiss to your lips, resting his forehead on yours again. “It wasn’t a mistake, I never thought that for a second,” he continued as his breath tickled your lips. “And it sure as hell wasn’t just a one time thing.”

You slightly pulled your head back, just enough to look into his eyes and you noticed the way his green irises almost obscured by his dilated pupils.

God, he was so breathtaking.

Your heart tightened in your chest. “But… But you—” you stammered like a complete idiot. “You never said anything.”

“Do I have to remind you you were the one avoiding me?” he replied sarcastically. “But to answer your unspoken question, I didn’t do it before because I was scared too. I had no idea how you felt and I was terrified of losing you. You mean everything to me, more than you realize. And the thought of messing this up, of ruining us—” He shook his head, letting out a small, breathless laugh. “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk you. But if I had known—if I had even guessed you felt the same way—I never would’ve wasted so much time baby.”

You opened your mouth to talk but nothing came out. Your brain was short circuiting, you weren’t able to form a single coherent thought.

Was this really happening? Or was it just a hallucination? It had to be the latter, you must’ve been hit your head.

He chuckled at your reaction before pressing a kiss to your forehead, lingering a few seconds longer than necessary, before kissing your nose. “You ruined me,” he whispered before kissing your lips again. He kissed you more slowly this time, with a gentleness that almost made your legs give out.

He kissed you as if it was his first breath of air after so much time underwater, as if you were his lifeline. He held you as if he was truly afraid you’d walk away, his lips moving against yours in a sensual dance that neither of you wanted to end.

His fingers tangled in your hair—while his other hand gripped your jaw—and he pulled your head slightly, tilting it just right and you almost fainted. God, the way that man made you lose your mind, how crazy he drove you, it was something you’ve never experienced in your life.

When you pulled away, you were both breathless, your lips still tingling and longing for his. He looked at you for a moment, with so much intensity and so much adoration you would’ve paid an organ to always see that look in his eyes.

“God…” he whispered as his fingers caressed your face. “I love you.”

Your heart stopped beating for a moment.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, completely in shock. “Huh? What?”

He laughed, and he was so unbelievably and unfairly beautiful it hurt. His thumb continued to caress the side of your jaw, firm but gentle at the same time. “I love you, I’m in love with you. Quite for a while now.”

Something inside you bursts—a relief so overwhelming you could cry. Instead, you laughed—bright, breathless, disbelieving. “I—You… Holy shit… You love me? You?” You pointed your finger at his chest. “Love me?”

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he chuckled, grinning from ear to ear. “I love you. And, man, it’s such a relief to finally say it.”

You barely gave him time to breathe before you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him again, like your life depended on it. He stumbled back with a startled laugh but caught you easily, holding you tight against him as if he’d never meant to let you go.

When you broke apart, you pressed your forehead to his, making him smile so softly it made your chest ache.

“So,” he murmured, brushing his nose against yours, “Can we finally stop this avoiding crap? We have a lot of time to make up for.”

You giggled, eyes shining from tears as you nodded your head. “Yeah. Yeah, we do.”

Jay smiled, then kissed you again and again—slow, sweet, like you had all the time in the world.

And for once, you let yourself believe in happy endings.

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kys02 · 2 days ago

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HOW THE CHARACTERS WILL ESCAPE THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS.

Hello, Tumblr!!

Alright, if I start digging deep into this, I could keep writing forever, so let’s keep it short and to the point.

I have 2 theories about this.

1. Pomni has to remember how to leave the circus.

If you didn’t know, “Pomni” literally means “remember” in Russian. And in every episode, we see Pomni talking to other characters, trying to support them and help them open up—so that, in the process, they might help her do the same.

Kinger talked about valuing people while they’re still around. Gangle showed what happens when you suppress emotions for too long. And so on.

It’s already pretty much canon that Pomni was an office worker or a developer for the Digital Circus (considering how she looked at the VR headset in the pilot, as if it were her workstation). And yes, she remembers her past life (officially confirmed by Gooseworx). But!

I had this small theory—what if she remembers everything except her name? And what if the “exit code” for the game is her name—the one thing she can’t recall?

I’m not entirely convinced by this idea, so I won’t push it too much, but either way, memories and Pomni are the key. Of course, not without help from the others—Ragatha, Jax, or whoever else.

2. “Kill” Caine.

Sounds extreme, I know, but hear me out.

In my previous posts (which you can find on my account), I talked about what happens during Zooble’s therapy session. It pushes Caine to realize that the one thing he’s supposed to be good at… he actually isn’t. And then he starts glitching.

Glitching? Maybe that is the key to escaping?

Eventually, all the characters will grow tired of this. Take Zooble, for example—at some point, they just won’t want adventures anymore. They won’t want to live like this.

And they might do something like a strike.

They stop playing along. They “kill” Caine—force him into a state where he breaks down and disappears, just like Gummigo did.

Why aren’t they rebelling yet?

Because it’s comfortable.

Think about someone working a job they hate. Are they happy? No. Do they enjoy their life? No.

Why don’t they quit?

Because it’s their comfort zone.

The characters wake up. They go on adventures. They talk to each other. They go to sleep. And repeat. And repeat. And repeat. That’s it.

Let’s not forget—no one forced them to put on the headset.

Each of them ended up here by their own choice. Right?

Of course, there are a million other theories.

Like, what if Jax has the keys to escape but doesn’t want to use them because he doesn’t want to be left alone? Or some other version of this. Personally, I think it’s an interesting idea, but a little unlikely.

Still, I respect all theories, and I’m just here sharing mine.

Share your thoughts! Thanks for reading ❤️

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc theory #gooseworx #tadc jax #tadc pomni #the amazing digital circus ragatha #tadc caine #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc gangle #tadc gummigoo

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vandme12 · 2 days ago

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Instead of an influential reader who is always in the spotlight of the public. The reader has power and influence underground? They are part of a large mafia group or IS the leader and boss of said group. They have only the best of the best on their team and is able to get rid of some of the most powerful people with just the snap of their finger. How does the KC cast found out about their little secret? And how would they react? Love your writing and can’t wait to see how you end up doing this little ask of mine! (I was the one who requested the powerful reader AND ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!! Ended up sending this ask and another one! Hopefully you find this concept just as interesting as my last)

I really really love your requests! Thank you for giving me these!!!

You were careful—so careful. You covered your tracks, played your role perfectly. To them, you were just another voice in the dark, someone with an uncanny knack for understanding their world.

But secrets don’t stay buried forever.

And when they found out the truth—that you weren’t just an observer, but a kingmaker, a ghost of the underworld who could make entire empires crumble with a single whisper—oh, it changed everything.

Ronin

"Oh, love… you should’ve told me sooner. I would've worn my best suit to our first date."

Ronin lives for chaos, but this? This is beyond anything he could’ve imagined. You, the one person who held his attention longer than a fleeting moment, were above him this whole time—a kingpin, a puppet master, a god among killers. And you never even flaunted it. You just sat in their little chat, watching, waiting, smiling.

He can’t stop thinking about it. The sheer power you hold. The things you could do with just a whisper. And you let him talk, let him think he had the upper hand in those playful little chats. You toyed with him.

It makes him want to break you. Or kneel at your feet. Maybe both.

Expect his flirting to become even more dangerous, insistent, and possessive. The way he looks at you now? It’s different. Before, you were interesting. Now? Now you are his new favorite obsession.

"Tell me, sweetheart… does the kingpin need a knight? Or would you rather have a monster at your side?"

V (Vigilante)

"You… run what?"

V’s world is black and white—he deals with criminals, ends them when necessary. But now? He finds out you’re at the top of the very food chain he’s been trying to tear down.

He wants to hate you for it. Wants to believe you’re just another villain. But the problem is… you’ve never been needlessly cruel. You’re calculated. Precise. You never waste blood for the sake of it. And that makes things complicated.

He starts watching you differently. Every word you say, every action, trying to gauge if you’re as bad as the people he hunts—or if you’re something else entirely.

But the worst part? He still likes you. And that pisses him off more than anything.

"Tell me—when you pull the strings, do you ever think about the people left hanging?"

"Ohhh, so that’s why you never blinked when we talked about blood~."

Angel plays with fire for fun, but you? You are the fire. And she’s not stupid—she knows when she’s in the presence of something far more dangerous than she can handle.

That doesn’t mean she’ll back off, though. If anything, she finds you fascinating. You’ve been playing in the dark this entire time, playing dumb while they all ran their mouths. That’s sexy as hell, honestly.

She gets bolder with her flirting, but there’s an edge to it now—respect. She won’t push too hard. Not until she knows exactly where your lines are.

She is sweet with you, upset you didn't tell her but you had your reasons.

"So, be honest—if I asked real nicely, Wanna be as model with me? You look dashing with your style of clothing."

Misaki

"HOLY SHIT—WAIT, SO LIKE, DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A COOL MAFIA BASE?! CAN I SEE? CAN I JOIN? PLEASE???"

Misaki is way too excited about this. They are not scared. They should be, but they're not. If anything, they are impressed as hell.

Now they won’t stop asking stupid questions.

“How many guys you got? Like a hundred? A thousand?”

“You ever had someone’s kneecaps busted? CAN I WATCH NEXT TIME?”

“OH OH—do you have a secret underground lair?! Tell me you do. Please.”

You might have to physically stop them before he starts trying to apply for a position in your organization. The little gremlin is way too eager for their own good.

"C’mon, boss—just gimme one job. One tiny murder job! I won’t even mess it up that bad!"

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naquey · 1 day ago

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James Diamond Analysis

Because I did a Drake Parker analysis forever ago, and said I would do a James Diamond one once I rewatched BTR. I think that was like in july??? idk.

Ah, James Diamond, yet again another character who cares a lot about his appearance and chases girls throughout the canon show- Wait. Are we sure I'm not talking about Drake Parker instead??? I'm kidding, that's mean. I'm sorry. (No I'm not)

BTR establishes him as the one who wants to see his name up in lights, the one who wants to pursue a music career. He's the reason why Kendall gets chosen by Gustavo in the first episode. But to be honest, the show never delved deeper past the outer most level of his character.

James is the pretty boy who always carries around a hand mirror, has a lucky comb, and spends far too much time applying Barracuda Man spray to make himself smell nice for the ladies.

But underneath that, just who is he?

First, we gotta look at where he comes from. Duluth, Minnesota, but I mean his family life. His mother owns a beauty product company and his father... well we don't know who his father is. (Correct me if I'm wrong.) But we do know that he is a child of divorce. Like I said with Drake, divorce is hard on the child. But also James is an only child.

Maybe I'm just projecting or I'm letting BTR fanon get to me, but as much as Brooke loves her son, I don't think she takes him seriously. He wants to be a singer, he wants to be famous. Not many of the adults in his life take him seriously, I mean we don't see their school teachers outside of Miss Collins at the PalmWoods so I can only assume his teachers back at Duluth didn't take him that seriously either.

He's not established as the comedic relief, but it's still treated as a funny joke when James mentions anything about singing or fame. Like it's laughable that he wants something so bad. The only people that do take him seriously are his friends. I mean, Kendall made Gustavo make them a boyband for James because it was James' dream. He saw his friend get crushed by Gustavo and had to do something about it.

Which leads me to believe that James is essentially in Kendall's shadow. The friend who wants nothing to do with singing and music, is deemed the more talented one. Anyone else would be upset and hurt, and James is for a little while, but it doesn't effect their friendship. He may chase after girls, but his friends mean the world to him.

Maybe I'm projecting, but I think his friends matter so much to him because he grew up alone. Brooke is a business woman, and I don't doubt that she rarely looked after him. She loves him but it only comes off as Brooke loving him once he's gone. I could be wrong, and very mean, but it's my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt. I also understand that no parent wants to be away from their child, especially not across the country, but I digress.

To me, it seems like James would do anything to keep his friends by his side. Especially give up his dream. After Hawke gave him everything he could ever want, something was missing. James knew he couldn't do it without his bros. Their friendship is crucial to him, without them he has no one who truly understands him the way his friends do. He's not vain, or mean, or petty. He's a teenager who will do dumb stuff over the course of the show because he wants something that he can't truly have, so badly.

And honestly, I can understand that. Life didn't go the way he planned. His dreams were crushed on that audition stage but then his friend comes to save the day because they were there for him. Okay, sorry this is weirdly becoming a friendship analysis. Hold on.

James isn't taken seriously, outside of his friend group. Not by Gustavo, not by his mother, not even by Hawke. He was singled out because Hawke knew he could use James' dream against him. To everyone else around him he's just a loveable dork who won't be able to truly achieve his dreams. He's not given any merit, or the chance to prove himself. Yes, that's what I was trying to get to.

James was set up for failure before he even started. Not because his friends are the only ones who truly care, but because the adults dismiss him. It's a fleeting pipe dream. Gustavo literally said to him on that stage that James has no talent, that has to be a blow to his confidence. And maybe the reason why his character changes in seasons 3 and 4 is because he doesn't have that confidence anymore. He lost it because people no longer considered him an individual outside of the group.

(Are we 100% sure I'm not talking about Drake Parker? Okay, okay. I'll stop. I'll stop.) I've said my piece, food for thought I suppose.

#character analysis #big time rush #btr #btrtv #james diamond

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atzluvz · 3 days ago

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Through blood and roses

A/N : Sorry it took so long time to post this, i got a lil concussion 😭😭 I think chapter 5 will be the last one in this series, though!

Trope: Mafia!san x f!reader

WC: 1k

Summary : San let his guard down once, and it cost him everything. Now, he’s built his walls higher than ever. Living with the weight of his past. But when a kind hearted florist enters his life, his carefully guarded world starts to crack. He swears he won’t make the same mistake twice; but some things are impossible to resist.

Warnings: angst, san opens up for the first time, lwk a true ateez bonding moment here fr

Chapter 2.5

“ I don't blame you, but I can't change you. Don't hate you, but we can't save you.”

The rain hammered the windows with force. The Black pirates sat in a heavy silence around the dimly lit room, each member sensing the tension in the air. Wooyoung had been watching San for days. His quiet but clear concern grows with each passing moment. He knew something was wrong, The question was whether San was ready to face it, or even admit it. He couldn't deny it forever.

Ha was always the one to speak up when no one else would. And finally he broke the silence. “San,” Wooyoungs voice was low, full of understanding. “Whatever thats been eating at you, you don’t have to carry it alone. We’re here for you. You know that, right?”

San didn’t answer immediately. His gaze remained fixed on the rain-soaked view outside the window,. The others waited, giving each other shared knowing looks, recognizing the unspoken weight San carried.

Finally, after a deep breath, San spoke. His voice cracked slightly. “It’s just... her. It's getting bad again.”

Wooyoung’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Her?” he echoed softly

Sans's voice came out strained, a mixture of guilt and regret. “The girl I... failed,” he whispered, barely above a breath.

The room froze. Yeosang exchanged a look with Jongho, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat. They didn’t need to ask for further explanation; they knew what he meant. They knew San’s history, the traumatic event that had shaped him into the man he was now.

But it was Wooyoung who spoke up again, not letting San retreat back into silence. “That’s not the only thing, though, is it?” Wooyoung asked, his voice careful. “You’re still holding something back. Something bigger.”

San’s gaze shifted toward him then, his eyes dark with an emotion the others couldn’t quite name. For a moment, there was a flash of something vulnerable, something desperate.

A long silence followed, and San slowly exhaled.

“It’s Y/N,” he admitted,

The others exchanged confused looks. Y/N? They didn’t know who this person was: none of them did. They had only seen flashes of something between San and someone new,nothing more. And now, here San was, just laying it out there.

“Y/N?” Wooyoung echoed, stepping closer to him,“Who are they?”

San swallowed hard, struggling to put into words the whirlwind of emotions you had stirred in him. He never thought he’d have to talk about you to anyone. You were his weakness, his most vulnerable spot. Revealing that felt like handing over his soul.

“She’s...” San’s voice stuttered for a second. He cleared his throat, then continued. “She’s... everything. She’s been making me feel alive again, for the first time in forever. I never thought I could feel something like this. I thought I was broken, that I was just... empty. But when I’m with her, I feel like I can breathe again. Like I’m not the same person I was before. I want to be better for her.”

Wooyoung leaned forward, his eyes softening in understanding. “So this Y/N... shes the reason you’ve been shutting yourself off, right?”

San nodded softly, “Yeah,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “ I’m afraid. Afraid that if I let myself get close to her, if I let myself care about her too much... I’ll lose Y/N. Just like I lost her.”

The pain in his words was unmistakable. Spreading the sorrow through everyone in the room.

“You’re scared of repeating the same mistake,” Hongjoong finally spoke up, the understanding in his tone clear. “You think that if you love Y/N, something bad will happen to her too.”

San’s eyes were distant as he nodded. " I promised I would protect her. I promised I would never let anything happen to her, but I couldn’t keep that promise.”

“San, you can’t keep punishing yourself for something you couldn’t control. What happened in the past isn’t your fault. You did your best, but you can’t carry that weight forever. And Y/N? Shes not her. Shes not the one you lost. You have to stop seeing her through that lens. You can’t keep pushing them away because of your own fear.” Seonghwa suddenly added, his tone laced with a feeling of anger.

Jongho nodded in agreement, his expression softer than usual. “You have to be honest with yourself, San. You can’t protect someone by keeping them at a distance. You can’t protect anyone if you’re not willing to let them in. But you have to trust her, you have to trust yourself.”

San closed his eyes, trying to steady his breath, feeling the weight of their words pressing down on him. The storm inside him raged, torn between the need to protect Y/N and the overwhelming fear that he would fail her just like he had failed the one he couldn’t save.

“I can’t do this again,” San whispered, almost to himself.

Wooyoung placed a hand on San’s shoulder, grounding him. “You won’t lose her, San. But you have to let go of the past. You have to be able to live in the present with Y/N,.You can’t keep running.”

San opened his eyes, staring down at the floor for a long moment, his heart heavy with the truth of what they were saying. He had to let go. But the fear was still there. How could he let go of something that had been a part of him for so long?

Yeosang’s voice cut through the silence again. “We’re not saying you have to forget. But you can’t keep living like this. You have to give Y/N a chance; give yourself a chance. You’re not the same person you were before.”

San looked up at them, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and uncertainty. “I don’t know if I can,” he said quietly. “But I’ll try.”

Wooyoung smiled softly. “That’s all we ask for, San. We’re with you. And Y/N? She's with you too. But you have to let go of your fear.”

The room fell back into a deep silence, and the rain continued to pour outside. But somewhere beyond the dark tainted clouds, the sun started to shine.

Chapter 3: Y si fuera ella - OUT NOW !!

#ateez #ateez san #atz #mafia au #san #san x reader #choi san #angst #angst with a happy ending #ateez angst #through blood and petals

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