#i could talk about her forever she's everything to me

[mari-lair]

Let's talk about Nene and how she find power in other people.

Nene gets overwhelmed easily and is very insecure, not just about her body but about her power, and smarts too.

When she thought Hanako may like her she wasn't sure about her judgement, but when Aoi who never even met hanako said 'oh yeah, he likes you~' she became far more confident.

Aoi must have been her reassurance for most of Nene's school life, so much so that when Aoi tells her "he might confess to you in the confession tree <3" Nene acts like that's the truth and spend the rest of the chapter giggily waiting for it.

She is right that Hanako have a crush on her, but when he start hiding behind excuses, she believes it right away. She never consider that his excuses and his feelings can both be true, she trust what he says more than her own judgement

When she started getting involved with the supernatural she start getting more and more doubts about herself. Her issues growing from the simple 'do they find me cute? can i get a boyfriend?' to questions about what is right and how much power she have.

She have a crisis when she learns Hanako used to be a living student, with a real life, who killed a real person. She become so helpless by this realization that she can't look at him in the eye.

Reality is so overwhelming, that she keep running away from Hanako.

There is no "Hanako is my friend anyways! His life doesn't matter what matter is the now!! Let's gooo!!" self talk in the garden. She want to hide. To give up.

Kou is the one that come to her side and reassure Nene that her feelings are valid, that not knowing what to is alright. That there is nothing wrong with being overwhelmed and doing all you can do, even when 'all you can do' isn't much.

They find strenght in each other.

Throught the entire manga Kou is there to cheer Nene up or to back up her plans. They are in this together.

Break the fake world? Rescue Hanako? Go to the Red House cause a kid is crying?? That's a Nene and Kou plan. That's their team effort. They got each other's back! They can do it!

Even when the idea isn't that good, Kou constantly cheer her, rewarding Nene for trying instead of giving up.

Most of the time Hanako is with Kou cheering her up, albeit not as upfront, being his indirect and 'haha just kidding i would die if i was vulnerable!' self.

Regardless, Nene got support through every step of this new and scary supernatural world!

Or at least... most of the time. Let's go over the instances where times were tough and Nene didn't have Kou and Hanako by her side. The times when she become her most vulnerable and insecure. She ceases to be "Your overwhelming grass type and beloved heroine Yashiro Nene!" and becomes Nene, the insecure high school girl.

When she learned about her death she was lost and confused, she didn't try to imply she could conquer death, she couldn't do anythnig, so she asked for guidance.

When she was given no real answer, just cryptic orders to stay in her caje forever cause hanako will 'solve everything', Nene was even more lost. And she was alone. No one to talk to in her time of need, no one to cheer her up.

We have no panels of her trying to break her window of wiggle between her caje bars because she isn't determined, she was devastated. So she cried and cried and tried to comfort herself

ONLY AFTER who knows how many doodles and time to process her feelings does her hopelessness turn into anger for Hanako and determination to change her situation.

She only fully enter "I will fight this! I can do it!! I won't do what Hanako want!!" mode after Mei visits her with a friendly dispossition and comforts her, giving her sweets to soothe her heart and give her energy.

Nene say her tears are false here, a mere ploy to make Mei lower her guard!! But it is rotted in real sadness.

The fire she gained after doodling her friends in the real world only spread into an inferno of determination when she is told she is deeply loved, that Hanako would sacrifice everything for her sake. That love is why this was made in the first place.

This world want to protect her, not kill her. Her hapiness is cheerished. And she isn't happy. She haven't loss the real world yet, she can still change things.

She was already determined to change things, but she doubles down on it, she gain more confidence and becomes bolder. She will kick and scream and try her best to win! Is amazing. She is sweating but she know what she is doing is right so she will do it!!

Throught the manga, as the time passes she start to stand up for herself more, she tries harder, she takes any opportunity she can to do something and believe in herself. She stop seeking superficial attention to feel worth.

Take her play of Oz for exemple, she want to be dorothy, the big role that is worthy of a beautiful dress and all the spotlight! Despite all her development and traumas she still cares that she was given a unimpressed role, that she 'isn't worthy' of the main role

But instead of being unable to focus on anything else except how bad her role is and how uncute it makes her, as the Nene from the start of the manga would, she get the strenght to move pass it and have fun, keeping her head high because she won't be alone.

Hanako will be there for her.

Hanako is one of her biggest strenghts, and when he is gone she is hit hard.

Her first instinct is to seek someone to talk too.

And when she can't, she falls. There is nothing she can do, her friends are already dead, and just like her own death, she doesn't know how to solve it.

Even when she feels better, going out to the arcade instead of being trapped alone in her room, the moment she remembers that she can't talk to her friends, that they are gone, she relapses again, sapped of all of her strenght.

She is 15, she can't handle this.

Her major sorces of comfort is still her close friends, which is normal, but she does gain strenght from other people.

Enters Teru and Akane.

Akane is one of the characters that push her to act when things are at their most hopeless, but unlike Kou and Aoi he isn't her cheerleader, he never coddles her. If she ask for reassurance that she is beautiful, or useful, or doing the right thing, he will either not give her that or straight up say "I dissagree".

Akane is not a source of hope for Nene, his belief in her is not nearly as strong as Kous or Hanako or Aoi's belief in her. Just as Nene's believe in herself isn't very strong in hopeless situations.

He never sugarcoats tragedy, in fact he consistently drag her back to how bleak things are. Ignore the arcade, don't distract yourself: Face reality.

He is open about his misery.

It mostly feel like he is processing his own feelings when he rants to Nene, but the end message is clear "I hate this, i want to try to change it. You want to, don't you?" which is exactly how Nene feels.

They are hopeless but they're not alone in this hopelessness. Despite Nene never working up with Akane during the rescue arc. This served as a reality check, which serves to process her feelings better.

Reality does sucks, there is no clear solution, she is unhappy, she does want to change things, she hates crying and being helpless while her friends are dead/suffering. So she eat a sugary sweet to comfort herself and she chin up.

Akane never says "you can do it, you are stronger than you think!" he sucks at comforting, I love him but oh god he sucks. But the message he gives her is till important "You have to do it." "You have to try anyways or you'll stay helpless."

Teru is the savior, Nene already idolized him from the start, but he is the one that showed them a way to rescue Aoi too. He is amazing. He can do the impossible!

Now let's jump to the new timeline.

Kou, her buddy, her biggest cheerleader, doesn't know her. It hit hards and she was so so happy to have him back!!

But just as quickly as she gets to see her buddy, Kou is gone, this is just a shell trying to lure her to death, the real one is dead at the bottom of a wheel.

She doesn't have the time to process that, because Hanako, her big source of comfort, doesn't exist. Amane, who she had watched be brutally slashed by Teru, have been possessed and wants to kill her and all her friends instead of protecting her.

Teru, this invincible guy (Nene wasn't present when No.6 took Teru down, so for her he is unbeatable) that made saving Aoi possible, is the first one down.

Everyone is doing what they can, so Nene does too, she want to help her friends, she can't let them be in danger! While Aoi takes charge, she doesn't allow herself to be too shocked and focus on destroying the tentacle attacking Akane.

But she is still terrified.

The last thing she want to do is to be alone. But she have too. Once more, Akane doesn't sugarcoat the situation, he says "This reality, it sucks, and if you want to change it, you have to act! Go!"

But this time he is left behind too. Nene is completely and utterly alone.

She has the weight of the world on her shoulders as she run through the city for who knows how long, but she is terrified and she doesn't have Akane to be terrified with her, just the weight of his words and the faint hope that they'll meet her in the big clock to keep her going.

She is doing something so so big, she need to talk to someone first, she need strenght. She need people.

So she seek them. And no one answers.

She crumbles, she becomes small. There is no heroine to be seem, just a teen girl in shambles after losing every. single. person that used to give her strenght.

That's why Tsuchigomori was needed.

Let her cry. Let her process the situation with a comforting sweet to gather the strenght to do what she must.

[thatfeelingwonie]

— 🧷 . . . MINISKIRT . . . sim jake

zhao iseul always had it easy. she could get everything she wanted due to her charms, and boys would always fall at her feet. but there was one guy who didn't seem to be phased by her, sim jake.

barista!jake x oc. lots of angst, slow burn (?), contains smut, mentions of domestic abuse, death, brain tumor, alcohol, hooking up.

CHAPTER FIVE !

wc : 1k

as jake walked under the crying sky with a bouquet clutched in one hand and an umbrella in the other, his heartbeat echoed loudly in his ears as his sweaty palms dampened the thin, brown paper wrapped around the daisies and the harsh sound of the heavy rain jumping on the concrete was a simple white noise to his reddish ears.

after years of keeping them to himself, jake was finally gonna confess his feelings for his long time crush. he's ready to face rejection if needed, but at least that can make him move on and find someone that makes him happy instead of constantly dreading over his troubled feelings.

"hey jaeyun!" seowon greeted him from the distance with a bright smile stretching her glossy lips, his ears growing darker upon hearing his name slip past them so perfectly as a shy grin couldn't help but crack his soft features at the sound of her soothing voice. her thick, straight brows knitted slightly upon noticing the bouquet of her favorite flowers in his hand, giving him a questioning look to which he responded with a small smile.

"are those for me? did i forget some special day?" jaeyun chuckled whilst shaking his head, handing out the flowers shyly with ablaze cheeks and gaze fixated to the ground which only made her suspicions grow further. jake never gifts her flowers unless it's a special occasion, so she probably forgot some anniversary again.

"they're not for anything special, just take them." seowon skeptically accepted the flowers and observed them from up close, the confusion previously twisting her features turning into a timid smile as she brought the bouquet up to her nose and let their scent invade her nostrils.

"they smell so good. thank you so much jaeyun." she held the bouquet between her torso and her arm and held out her hand to gently touch jake's arm, the soft touch sending a jolt through him making him clench his fists taking a steadying breath. this was the moment. his chest tightened, but the pounding of his heart reminded him that he had made up his mind. he had to speak now, or he'd regret it forever.

"seowon, there's something i need to tell you." his voice trembled slightly, as he forced himself to look up and meet her sparkling eyes, the girl tilting her head with a curious expression waiting for him to continue. the boy swallowed nervously, suddenly finding it hard to breathe as the weight of the words pressed against his chest. "i've... i've liked you for a long time,"

jaeyun finally blurted out, his voice barely louder than the rain falling around them, his gaze averted to the ground again too afraid to see her reaction. "i didn't want to ruin our friendship, but... i can't keep it in anymore, i just had to tell you how i feel."

a long silence followed, the rain still pouring heavily around them and drenching their umbrellas yet that was a deafening noise to jake's ears, his stomach twisting and his heart shrinking with each second.

then, a soft laugh broke the quietness and the aussie's gaze shot up confused to see her smiling, her already ablaze cheeks now a deep shade of red that matched her ears. "i like you too jaeyun."

< 🧷 >

iseul used to love rainy days.

she used to love going on a walk under the pouring rain with her father to spend some time alone, heading to their usual bar to order a streaming hot cup of chocolate and talk about nothing and everything when her father wasn't consumed by work.

but ever since her father was hospitalized, she couldn't stand them anymore. every rainy day is a reminder of yet another occasion she missed to stay with her dad before his departure.

iseul shook her umbrella as she stepped inside the gloomy, desolate, and dull hospital, walking towards the same elevator she had taken dozens of times the past weeks whilst leaving behind a trail of polluted raindrops dripping from her drenched parasol that pooled on the candid floor as she unzipped her jacket and tugged down her hood.

it's been probably six weeks since the doctors told them there was no turning back. the chemotherapy was just a way to buy time and make the inevitable less painful for him, but nothing could ever free him from a stage four brain tumor, and iseul had been struggling to accept it. she would visit him three times a week, in between classes and her part time job to make use of the time that they had left before the clock ran out.

as she approached his room, she paused at the glass door, noticing a nurse adjusting the iv, a bag of clear fluid hanging from the stand feeding the chemotherapy into his weakened body. her father noticed her and smiled, signaling her to come in and take a seat on the chair near his bed. "come in honey, the nurse knows you anyway."

iseul bowed slightly to the nurse muttering a thank you before stepping inside, taking her seat beside him and setting her bag on the floor like usual before her eyes scanned his fragile body that she still wasn't used to seeing. his skin was nearly translucent, his once thick hair now completely gone, leaving his scalp bare, but his tired eyes still held that shine of affection.

"how are you feeling today?" she asked with a trembling voice avoiding eye contact, swallowing a painful lump in her throat to suppress her fragile emotions coming to the surface like every single time she stepped here before finally raising her gaze to her father. he glanced at the trasparent bag pumping medicines into his body before smiling weakly. "i'm tired, but this isn't anything new to you." the girl forced a smile, struggling to accept that she was slowly witnessing the sparkle fade away from her once bright and cheerful father and get drained by his tumor.

time will forever be cruel.

jia's note : updating twice cause i haven't updated in 5 days 🙏

tags

@boobaemilk @ziiao @riqomi @lvvstruck @maewphoria @makrleestoes

🧷 — comment if you want to be added !

[liliasdog]

Avis Amberg x Reader

Avis goes to the station and sees a woman that catches her interest and claims her forever.

Contains: Praise, Strap, blood, knife, choking, bondage, collar, pet play, dog cage

This is my first attempt at smut so sorry if it sucks.

It was a boring day at the station while you were working on a truck you heard Eddie trying to get your attention. “Hey, doll you got a customer.”

“It better not be another creepy guy Eddie, you know I don't like them.” You say as you lift your head from inside the trucks hood and wipe off the grease from your hands.

Eddie let you get cleaned up before telling you who it is. “It's Avis. She requested you specifically doll so go get her.” He says and walks back to his office.

You knew Avis was a big deal around the station, anyone who goes with her always has damn good stories to tell. So you hurry over to her car and lean in the window. “Fill ‘er up ma'am?”

“I want to go to dreamland.” Avis says and that's when you notice her beautiful red dress. “Of course ma'am.” You say as you get in her car and the two of you drive to her mansion.

“My daughter isn't home so we'll have the house to ourselves darling.” Avis says and gets out of the car and you follow her.

“This is a nice house ma'am.” You say as you look around while she leads you to her room. “Please darling call me Avis or Miss. We are about to fuck each other.” She says and you nod. “Yes Miss.”

Walking into her bedroom you see the large four poster bed against the back wall but you also notice a dog cage and get confused cause you didn't hear a dog. “Do you have a dog Miss?” You ask.

“No dear, that's for you if you do a good job.” She says with a smirk on her face. “You see dear if you're a good little pup for Mama then you can stay here forever and not have to work at the station anymore.” Avis tells you and your eyes widen in shock.

“Not to sound rude Miss but that has to be a joke.” You say confused and she sits on her bed and pats the spot beside her and you accept.

“I'm not joking dear, Eddie has told me how much you hate it there and he has also told me who you prefer to service so, I talked with him and we made a deal. You stay with me permanently if you can prove yourself worthy of it and you never have to go back there.” She says as she changes into a flowy robe and you can't decide how to feel knowing that if you do good enough for her you won't have to deal with creepy guys anymore.

“I.. I can't accept that Miss, I chose to work there so I put up with it no matter how bad it gets.” You tell her unable to accept the hospitality but she stops you. “You will accept and I know you will because I have everything you need to be happy in this house. Any toy you could think of is in my collection, every tool for pain and every tool for pleasure.” Avis tells you and you feel yourself blush and nod not trusting yourself to talk.

“O.. Okay Miss I accept your offer and thank you.” You say and nod your head again. Hearing Avis let out a soft laugh you look at her.

“Darling, you are just so polite, I knew you'd be a good choice. Now if you're ready to continue I want you to strip for me.” She tells you and leans back on her arms with her legs crossed.

Getting up you remove your boots, uniform and hat before removing your lace bra and underwear with a blush. “I choose to dress up even just a little bit especially with this job.” You explain and wait for her next instruction.

“Well my dear, I can say that you look absolutely divine. Now come show me what your mouth can do first.” Avis says and spreads her legs for you and you see she's not wearing underwear. “Crawl for me pet.” She commands and you can't resist letting out a soft moan at the order.

Getting on your hands and knees you crawl towards her bed and kneel before her. “Get to it pet.” Is all she says before gasping as you run your tongue across her folds.

As you run your tongue over her clit she grabs your hair and pulls causing you to moan. Deciding to focus on just her clit you use little licks and then suck and smirk as you hear Avis’s reaction.

“F...Fuck pet, so good.” Avis moans out as you continue to suck her clit before pulling away and nipping her thigh playfully. Pushing your tongue into her entrance she let's out a high pitched moan.

“Yes, yes pet yes. Good girl.” Avis moans as she arches her back and you know she's close so you suck her clit harshly and she cums all over your tongue and face. She holds you close as you clean her up then sit back on your heels panting with a smile.

When Avis finally comes down from her aftershocks she looks at you impressed. “Wow pet, you are sinfully good with that tongue of yours. Get up here and fuck me again.” She tells you and strips out of her robe.

Climbing onto the bed you run your fingers over her body and stop on her breasts. “Did you like that Miss?” You ask knowing that she did. She flips you over so she's on top now and gets up and grabs some things.

You see her grab a knife, some rope, shears, a strap on and a red leather collar. Seeing her grab the items you feel yourself blush and see Avis smirk. Avis puts the knife on the dresser before turning to you.

“Are you ready pet because I will ruin you.” Avis asks and you say your consent before she comes back to the bed and puts the items down and sees your thighs are covered in your own arousal. “But first let's help you out pet.” Avis says before slowly thrusting a finger into you.

Grabbing the bed you ask her, “More please Miss.” and she adds a second finger and picks up her pace. “Fuck, please Miss. Please.” You beg without knowing what for but Avis starts rubbing her thumb in circles over your clit and you bite your lip to not let out a loud whine.

“I have to say pet you look so good writhing under me. Do you want more from Mama?” Avis asks sarcastically. With your hips meeting her every thrust you nod and thrash your head side to side. “Please Miss, need more.” You beg and she speeds up again and you scream out as you cum all over her fingers and hand.

“Shhh, I got you pet. Good girl for me, such a good pet.” Avis praises as she slowly removes her fingers and pets your hair soothingly as you come down from your high.

Coming back to reality you smile softly. “Thank you Miss.” Is all you can say before Avis kisses you passionately and wraps her hand around your neck not cutting of airflow but just for slight pressure so you remember who's in charge.

Avis pulls away and smiles. “I'm going to put a rope harness on you if that's okay dear.” She tells you but still waits for permission. “That's perfectly fine Miss, please tie me up.” You say excitedly and she starts wrapping the rope around your chest and torso making sure to accentuate your breasts for herself.

By the time she's done you're now wearing a nice heart harness and you see Avis smile clearly glad with her work. “You look so good pet, so submissive for me. Why I bet you'd let me cut my name into you.” She says and you immediately let out a moan at the thought as Avis smirks shocked.

“Well, well it seems I picked myself a masochist. If you really want me to carve my name into your thigh you'll do whatever I say, when I say it pet. Can you be a good girl and listen to me?” Avis asks and she chuckles as you frantically nod your head not trusting your words.

“I need words pet or I won't do anything.” She says and you speak up. “P...Please Miss I'll do anything.” You beg then see Avis grab the strap on. “Anything huh? Well put this on and fuck me then like the good pet I know you can be.” Avis tells you and lays on the bed while she waits for you to fix the harness to yourself and you climb back on the bed.

Lining up the tip of the dildo with her entrance she grabs your shoulders as you slowly ease it into her. “I'm not going to break pet. Fuck me like you mean it.” Avis says as she grabs your face to look at her. Hearing her words you harshly thrust forward and feel her claw your shoulders.

Thrusting into Avis at a steady pace you thrust a little harder just to test out what she likes and when she moans loudly you know she likes it. “Yes pet. So good for me. Such a good girl.” She praises as she starts meeting your thrusts and her moans start getting higher pitched. Moving your mouth to her breast you start sucking and biting softly before moving one hand and frantically rub her clit as her back arches and she screams. “YES, YES. FUCK.” Is all she says as she cums around the dildo and you slow down your thrusts before pulling out of her.

Laying on top of Avis you run your hands over her thighs and help her come down. Feeling her pet your hair you see her eyes are glossy and she pulls you up for a kiss. “Thank you pet, you did so good for Mama and made me feel so good. I want you to be mine forever.” Avis says as she slowly gets up and grabs the red leather collar and puts it around your neck.

“I promise that I'll always keep you safe and be loyal to you my pet.” She says and locks it closed. Feeling tears fall Avis wipes them off your cheeks. “Thank you Miss. Thank you so much.” You knock her over onto the bed with a hug and kiss before remembering. “Does this mean you'll carve your name in my thigh?” You ask her hopeful and she laughs and nods.

“Yes my sweet pet I will. Just lay on the bed and get comfortable.” Avis says and grabs the knife off her dresser then comes back and straddles your shins. “Are you sure about this pet? This can't be taken back.” Avis asks you needing to make sure you fully understand what this means and you nod. “I understand what this means and I will be yours proudly for everyone to see Miss.” You tell her with a smile.

Feeling the sting of the knife in your thigh you grab the bed and grip hard as you try not to moan. Feeling yourself getting close to another orgasm you warn Avis. “G...Gonna cum Miss.” Avis just smiles and continues her work on your thigh. “Cum for me pet just from me claiming you as mine. Be such a good girl for me.” Avis says and you cum as she finishes her name.

Panting heavily you hear Avis toss the knife somewhere and pull you into her lap. “You did so good baby. Such a good pet for me.” She praises as she slowly rocks you both an you fall asleep in her arms.

Waking up an hour later you see Avis has bandaged where she cut and smile before hearing her in the bathroom. Getting up you push through the pain and walk over to her and wrap your arms around her waist and press a kiss to her neck. “Thank you Miss for bandaging my thigh. You're really sweet.” You tell her and she grins.

“Of course my pet. I'll always take care of you no matter what. Now I was called into the office so I want you to get some more rest and nap in your cage. Don't worry about Eddie he knows not to be expecting you and there's food and water already in your cage for you.” Avis tells you with a kiss to your head and helps you to your new dog cage and you see it's got a nice soft dog bed and a plush blanket then spot the snacks and bottle if water for you. Crawling inside you make yourself comfortable and fall asleep while Avis goes to work.

You dream of Avis and how she's now you're Dominant forever and smile as you sleep.

[twinnedpeaks]

it’s DELAYED but it’s HERE:

my list of favourite and least favourite books i read this year as someone who reads a lot and works with books <3 mostly horror books since that’s my area, but other genres as well.

BEST:

thirteen storeys by jonathan sims - given how big a tma fan i am it didn’t surprise me that i loved this. but i have NOT shut up about it since. one of the horror books i rec most often at work. genuinely just so good. i love his brain so much. i wanna study it under a microscope.

interesting facts about space by emily austin - this book gave me an autistic lesbian with mommy issues in the best way possible. loved it so much. cannot wait for her new book.

a botanical daughter by noah medlock - i could have CRIED from how beautiful this book was. basically a frankenstein retelling with a tender, botanical, queer heart.

butter by asako yuzuki - i’m not usually a big crime/thriller reader, but this FLOORED me. read it coming home from a trip and i was so enraptured by the story and the dynamics. saw it won waterstones book of the year so! good for her.

brainwyrms by alison rumfitt - oohh miss rumfitt you’ve done it again …. such a viscerally brilliant and at times disgusting tale. i recced this to a regular at work and she messaged me saying ‘okay. what the fuck did you make me read’.

it came from the closet: queer reflections on horror - some of horror’s big queer artists talk about how they felt seen in horror media as lgbtq people!! so interesting. picked this up at gay’s the word in london.

a lonely broadcast by kel byron - this felt like reading a tma episode and that is a compliment. so unique and stunning. i want the next book now.

evocation by s t gibson - i’m rarely a fantasy girlie but BY GOD this ruled. tarot inspired magic system with a toxic polycule? from the author of a dowry of blood? sold.

monstrilio by gerardo samano cordova - i named this my favourite read of the year on ig for a REASON. holy fucking hell i still struggle to find words for this book. so full of grief and love and humanity.

bury your gays by chuck tingle - now THIS was fun as hell. gay slasher w some truly brilliant moments.

summer sons by lee mandelo - godddddd this. just. yeah.

compound fracture by andrew joseph white - genuinely one of the best modern horror writers out there, and this was no exception. managed to snag a signed first edition through work and i shall treasure it.

a sunny place for shady people by mariana enriquez - horror short stories!!!! loved all of them so much.

witchcraft for wayward girls by grady hendrix - i know hendrix is one of those authors you either love or hate BUT. i love his work, honestly. reminded me of ahs coven and the craft. i got an arc back in october and devoured it.

she’s always hungry by eliza clark - ah tapeworms my beloved <3 i will read everything clark writes forever.

perfume and pain by anna dorn - this was so messy and fun. truly what it’s like to attempt to be a writer while also being just a very messy kind of sad person.

evil in me by brom - i am a HUGE brom fan and this latest book was everything i could have wanted.

don’t let the forest in by cg drews - GOD YES I enjoyed this. reminiscent of summer suns or a horror version of the raven boys. loved loved it.

blackwater by michael mcdowell - how the HELL have i never read these???? southern gothic perfection. there are a couple books and i’ve read the first three and adored them.

WORST:

my throat an open grave by tori bovalino - when i heard it was a horror novel about fae loosely inspired by labyrinth i was so excited. it, however, fell SO flat and i was bored.

day one by abigail dean - only read this because i got it for free from work. it was not worth the money. reminded me why i don’t read crime novels.

we used to live here by marcus kliewer - ok it feels a little unfair to put this with the worst, because i DID have fun reading it. i was just wildly disappointed. i had so many people telling me it was the scariest book they had ever read, and it just felt a bit like a sad attempt at ripping off jordan peele’s us.

incidents around the house by josh malerman - honestly, same reasoning as above. just less fun and more boring.

let the right one in by john ajvide lindqvist - i’m sorry but the writing here was genuinely just so bad that i couldn’t focus on the story itself. great movie, bad writer.

dearest by jacquie walters - could not tell you what happened in this book. could not make myself care.

mean spirited by nick roberts - i’m sorry but this was just so fucking stupid i couldn’t take it seriously. you might love it if you’re really scared of dogs or communication.

[butchpeace]

Hi miss butchpeace! Id like to ask for some advice, if thats okay. So Im dating this girl. We have been friends forever, shes has been my best friend for years and after a few months of heavy romantic tension we have decided to start dating a few weeks ago. Everything is great, shes everything i love in a person and she makes me feel great too and understands me more than anyone.

The problem is that we live in a really gendie positive place, and having radfem or even radfem adjacent views is basically like commiting social suicide. And so, i have been concealing my opinions on the gender ideology for the sake of my peace and because we have some trans men on our life. Recently, my gf came out to me as nonbinary. Now i KNOW this is because she has an story of body dysmorphia and self hating. Shes also kinda androgynous and loves the style of many nonbinary people online. She said she doesnt feel like a woman because shes more aligned to that part of the gender spectrum, and that also eventually she would like to take testosterone and get a mastectomy.

I really really dont know what to do. I do love her a lot and i hurt seeing her hating her body so thoroughly to the point of wanting to do this. Every time ive tried to debate even the slightest aspect of the gender ideology ive been kinda shut down and, because im afraid she would hate me forever if she knew i think like this, everytime i just shut up and swallow whatever i want to say. It has never been that big of a problem, since the topic hardly ever came up, but now i dont know what to do with this situation and i feel so alone.

Is there some way i could approach this topic gently and in a way that wouldnt scare her? I really dont want to hurt her or lose her but i feel like i should start to be honest and stop hiding. I just want her to accept herself as she is but i feel like having this conversation with her will destroy our relationship.

That’s a really difficult situation and I feel for you! I’m sure there are other women who have been here and can chime in with their personal experiences.

I hope that since you have been friends for such a long time, that she’ll understand your viewpoint and not end the relationship over this, but sadly that could be how it turns out. Especially for young people who are caught up in all this, you’ve been taught about trans identities since you were pretty young, and I think that makes it hard for people to question it.

My advice is to try talking to her about her dysphoria, what that feels like for her and maybe get into what the cause is. Maybe talk to her about the fact that lots of masculine lesbians in older generations have struggled with dysphoria, but that they overcame it and didn’t end up transitioning. Tell her that you’ve seen older women talk about that online and that it might help her to talk to older butch women about their experiences before making these choices.

If you can find a way to connect to your local community, especially if you can find older lesbian women who aren’t as involved in the trans stuff, that could also be a big deal. Going to pride or any intergenerational meet up in your area, things like that. A huge part of what went into my transition was that I didn’t have that. I didn’t see older women who were like me and who I could see as role models.

I think a big thing will be talking to her about testosterone. The negative effects of it, and the fact that usually the physical changes that women want the most from it - body fat and muscle redistribution - only stay that way if you continue to take T at a high dose. It causes bad acne in a lot of women, it doesn’t really change your voice to what a normal man sounds like (it mainly just damages your vocal chords and gives you a gravelly sound), it can cause lasting reproductive issues like painful or irregular periods, hair loss can start early, and that’s all just within a short time period or on a low dose.

Basically just talking to her about the reality of what being on T means, and that it’s not going to be the fantasy that she made in her head.

I think this is a good place to start, because instead of coming across as critical of trans identity as a whole, you’re talking to her about her feelings, showing that you hear her and care about those feelings. And you’re talking about her health and what these choices will actually do for her over the long run. Remember to let her talk, and to lead the conversation without sounding like you’re judging her.

Generally, masculine women want T because they have a vague idea that it’s going to make them “more masculine”, but there’s a real lack of understanding of what that’s really going to mean in a material sense, and what it’s really going to mean in terms of how people perceive them. Mastectomy is the same way. It really changes the way that people see you and think about you. Your girlfriend will always be seen as “trans” if she does T and gets a mastectomy. That’s just how it is. And it’s important for her to understand the impact that will have on her future.

There’s no such thing as a “non-binary transition”. She’ll be seen as a medically altered female and assumed to be a trans man.

Good luck and I’m sorry you’re both going through this 🫂 I hope you come out the other side happier and with a stronger relationship than before 🌈

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[camgoloud]

award for most devil’s sacrament moment of the year goes without a doubt to this morning when my coworker (delivering presentation) (screen projected onto wall in front of me and god and everyone) opened a new tab in google chrome and in the number one spot among the collection of icons for frequently visited websites was. the ao3 logo

[hauntingblue]

ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!

MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!

Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao

[smilesrobotlover]

Suki is such an underrated character I love her sm

[typingwithmyhandstied]

On a random note, my favorite dynamic in ADSOM is probably Alucard and Kell or Maxim and Kell or Holland and Kell or Rhy and Kell. Wait, or Lila and Alucard or Rhy and Lila.

[lorephobic]

idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?

[running-in-the-dark]

.

[azzymaxxing]

more people need to talk about this ok bye

[lilacerull0]

also one girl told me i talk like irl house fjsjjfoekflejfkrkfk

[hexslvt]

not to be dramatic but i just saw my ex in a twitch chat of a streamer i showed her and now i feel sick to my stomach 🤡🤡🤡

[miraclemaya]

i don't know why im so obsessed with chisato lately, i just feel like she gets it (insane)