#i could ruin people's confidence but i don't because it's a choice

[hum-suffer]

The effort it takes to be gentle and understanding, especially when you're at your core a hater, is mentally and emotionally exhausting

[moon7jay]

Enhypen with a s/o who suffers from an ED (hyung line)

Warnings : ed behaviours, body dysmorphia, low self esteem, self depreciation, suggestive in jay's, fluff, comfort, triggering content ahead, please proceed with caution<3

Requested by .・゜゜・ @onlyni-kis (I tried my best to make it realistic, I hope it helps you somehow)

Heeseung

He'd be so attentive and accomodating to your needs. As someone with an Ed, you're often not taken seriously. Your mental problems are not considered valid. And so you usually avoid social settings where people can pass up unnecessary comments on your body or eating choices and heeseung never pressures you to get out if you don't want to. Because you lack confidence and even slight comments trigger you, heeseung makes sure that no one can do so while he's around. If he's around, you can freely go anywhere and do anything. He would have a reputation of a 0 tolerance boyfriend who did not like people perceiving you in anyway. So whenever he is around, people usually know to keep their words in check. He's your safe blanket. The only person you can be yourself with.

You were hanging out with heeseung's cousins in a family get together, sitting on heeseung's lap and indulging in oily food for once, trying to let go of the food guilt.

"y/n that's a lot of food for one sitting" one of them commented and even though the comment was harmless with no real intent to hurt you, it did hurt. Your appetite dying instantly as you gave them a sheepish smile ,standing up from heeseung's lap and excusing yourself from the setting, not wanting your useless tears to fall and ruin everyone's mood. Heeseung let you walk away to collect your emotions but the instant icy glare he shot towards his cousin was something his family would never forget.

"I thought I made it clear that when y/n comes over you better watch your fucking mouths" he gritted through clenched teeth, the nerve on his forehead throbbing with how much effort it was taking him to stop himself from punching his cousin's stupid face. He found you standing in the kitchen, the food that was previously on your plate was now in the trash can and you just stood there staring at it, your small sniffles reaching his ears. You jumped upon feeling two strong arms wrap around your waist but melted into heeseung's touch in an instant.

"Baby, it's okay, have you seen the amount of food that i eat? On the daily basis?" His words made you snort, how ladylike. It was true, heeseung always made sure to load his plate full, piling stuff to the top just so he could make you laugh and forget about your own portion size. It always worked.

"Let's get out of here and I'll take you to this new ice cream parlor I've been meaning to try, would you like that baby? Just me and you?" He peppered small kisses along the length of your neck tenderly, making you close your eyes and just bask in his love. "Yeah I'd love that" you whispered. He was enough for you. You could deal with anything as long as you were in his arms.

Jay

Watching yourself in the mirror was always daunting for you, having no idea of what you really looked like, just constant voices in your head chanting "ugly" were all you could focus on. The dress that you were trying on was tight, it was suffocating. Not thin enough, not pretty enough, starve, starve-

A choked sob escaped your lips and you covered your mouth instantly, realizing that you were in a public space and your boyfriend was right outside. Jay's thought made you cry more, all of your self doubts creeping in and you turned away from the mirror, unable to look at your distorted reflection any longer. You often questioned why he was with you, you were nothing but a mess of a person, not pretty, not normal... just a gaping wound was what you were. Always bleeding. A sudden knock at the changing room's door jolted you out of your thoughts and you quickly wiped your tears, breathing in through your nose to make your voice less wobbly "yes?" you asked, hoping it was just a staff.

"baby let me in please" came jay's sweet voice and you closed your eyes, a defeated sigh leaving your lips. He knew you were having a breakdown, of course he knew, he always knew. You trudged towards the door and yanked it open, presenting your tear stained face to your worried boyfriend. Jay took you in his arms in an instant, cooing and shushing you when you started sobbing in earnest. "talk to me love, I'm right here" he whispered, running his palms all over your body, caressing you with so much tenderness it made you tighten your hold around his neck.

"I just-i don't like this dress" you choked out in the crook of his neck and he hummed in understanding "but I think it looks stunning on you baby" He whispered. His words made you pull back, still sniffing but staring into his eyes to detect a lie being told to placate you.

"You do?" you asked softly, not trusting your voice just yet. He nodded and turned you around, a gasp leaving your lips while your back rested against his chest. Your eyes met his in the mirror and you shied away from the intensity of his gaze. You watched as he ran his hands all over your body, your breath hitching when he cupped your chest, travelling down to your waist, then to your hips "so perfect" he whispered in your ear, making a shiver run down your spine. "look at the way it hugs your curves sweetheart, and the vibrant blue which brings out the color of your eyes", your eyes widened upon realizing that he was right, the dress did do wonders in highlighting your eyes. " look at the way it hugs your hips baby, driving me crazy" and it did, it hugged your hips so snugly, the fit so perfect now that you were seeing yourself in new light. His fingers dug into your waist, his lips touching your earlobe while he told you how beautiful you were. "let me take you home and show you how much I like this dress" He groaned and you bit your lower lip at his suggestion, suddenly feeling so sexy and so desired. He was so good at making you feel like this gorgeous person that you never thought you were. But he was here. And he wanted you. He thought you were pretty and that's all that mattered to you. It didn't heal you but it did make things easier.

Jake

He would be the type of boyfriend who keeps you stacked with your diet soda and 0 calorie foods. After he started dating you he had quickly grasped the severity of your condition, and even though it was out of his hand to actually help you, he did try his best to just be there for you.

"Jake I didn't order these" you asked your boyfriend in confusion, pointing towards the two full boxes of konjac noodles sitting on the kitchen counter. He walked towards you with a smile and pulled you into him. "I did, aren't they your favorite noodles? I was just trying to be a good boyfriend".

Favorite noodles. No they weren't. And you knew that jake knew that, but he didn't like to make you feel like there was something wrong with you, and you appreciated that so much. Your lower lip wobbled upon seeing the new cans of coke zero stacked on the side counter as well. Never had anyone cared so much about your needs and it was making you choke on your emotions. You had been running out of your ed foods and were trying to push back buying them because of the increasing prices, not wanting to waste money on your own hunger because according to you, you didn't deserve to eat anyway.

"How'd you know?" you whispered through a sniffle, already feeling the onslaught of tears. "because I know you, and I love you" He whispered back, wiping your tears and capturing your lips in his own, kissing you through your breakdown.

Sunghoon

You didn't want to overthink it. You really didn't, but your boyfriend was gorgeous and so it was inevitable that he got female attention wherever he went. And most girls ignored your presence beside him, fawning over him as if he didn't have his fingers intertwined with yours. She was beautiful, the girl your boyfriend had been laughing with when you stepped into his office unannounced. That was your biggest mistake because now you couldn't help but compare. Compare the thighs, the arms, the waist... you were nothing like her. Were these the women sunghoon spent his entire day with? and he still chose to come back to your plain self? What were you even doing with yourself? You should be starving harder, you decided. Just a few inches more and your waist might start looking like her, and maybe a few more inches on your thighs would make everything better and the- you were spiralling again. Unable to stop it even though you knew the consequences.

"This is the 3rd order this week baby" sunghoon's voice made you turn towards your bedroom door, mentally cursing upon finding the packaged waist trainer in his hands. You panicked and snatched it from his hands, mumbling a quick thank you and not meeting his eyes. You could feel his probing gaze on you. "You haven't stepped outside of this house in weeks, care to tell me what's going on?"

You hadn't lost weight, you weren't pretty enough yet, didn't he understand?? You couldn't just go outside looking like this, was he out of his mind?. Warm hands cupping your cheeks pulled you out of your inner monologue and you looked up at his intense eyes staring down at you. He rubbed his thumbs onto your cheeks and rested his forehead against yours

"Do you remember the first day of high school? When you had the biggest zit on your nose?" He asked and you looked up at him confused, not knowing where this conversation was headed but nodded regardless. "I loved you then" he whispered and your throat tightened, remembering how he was probably the only one in your entire grade who didn't make a comment on your acne. "And the time when you fell face first into the muddy water before class cuz you were an idiot who never looked at the ground while walking" The memory made you giggle but sunghoon only smiled fondly , kissing your nose "you were drenched from head to toe but i loved you then. I loved you so much y/n". You could feel the moisture gathering in your eyes at his confession, knowing that you spent your entire teen years hating yourself so much to the point that you failed to see the love that was around you. Remembering how you would shy away from your own reflection in the class windows because you despised yourself to the core. "And I loved you when you slapped me, loved you so much that it hurt". Tears were falling freely now, the painful memory of you slapping sunghoon after he confessed his feelings for you because you thought he was trying to make fun of you, coming back to you. cuz in your head there was no way that a guy like him could ever want something to do with you, so you automatically concluded that it was a prank, a distasteful one. "and I love you right now y/n, I love you because you're you. I can't live without you because your soft snores are the only thing helping me fall asleep most days. Because your stupid jokes are the only ones I'd ever fake my laugh for- you gasped through your tears and slapped his chest lightly, making him chuckle. "I love you because I can't help it. It's that easy to love you. " he continued , wiping your tears, "don't you understand baby? You never had to try to make me love you, so why now?". You buried your face into his chest and sobbed, feeling like a huge rock had been lifted off of your chest. His assurance was what you craved the most. The reminder that you were enough for someone. For him.

"I want you just like you are sweetheart, flaws and scars intact. Raw and unfiltered. Now that I have you in my arms, please don't take that away from me" He whispered, wrapping his hands tightly around your heaving body.

"If it's hard for you to love yourself,please let me do it for you" and just like that, he was again fixing the parts of you that he didn't break.

[austinsastrology8991]

Saturn the father you always wanted and always have. Saturn in da houses, and why your life sucks. Im blunt here so don't complain don't read if you can't handle the reality of saturn. Saturn in the first house - okay you don't like to try when you present yourself, you think people should just instantly respect you because youve been through many trials in life... well people usually dont know how to talk to you because you have a stick up your ass. Saturn in the second house - everyones greedy, but when you are, its not cool. Well it isn't because when you are greedy you act like a goblin. be more mature its okay to be greedy but your acting like its a virtue stfu. Saturn in the third house - everyone thinks your dumb af, and you are only because you lack confidence to drive your points home. you just need to learn how to communicate better, your not dumb but you act like a dumbass. Saturn in the fourth house - sad boy/girl now everyone knows you had a rough childhood but would you grow up already, everyone else has but your still stuck being sad about how life has treated you (or your momma/dadda) grow up your not getting any younger you can't change the past stop wallowing. the past has taught you well, use it to your advantage or let it hold you back. Saturn in the fifth house - pretend players who get played everytime. Always gotta pretend like they are fun but whenever you do try to have fun with them they are annoying. yes you could be fun in the bedroom simply because everyone knows your too sensitive to break someones heart... because your heart is the most broken. Saturn in the sixth house - the real try hards always putting in 100%. suck ups to there boss or whoever is above them. but when there authority disrespects them they go rogue and try even harder just to spit in there boss's face. i respect it because i got cap here Saturn in the seventh house - if your a bad person good luck in this life, because your karma is received ten fold by your partners, they always like to complete your karmic cycle because thats just how it works idk. so better act right or your partner will ruin it before you ruin yourself.

Saturn in the eighth house - will do anything to get to the top. no pain is too painful. well it all is, but the ends justify the means. when they put there foot down the whole room shakes. so when your making a move make sure its the right one because your power plays are on display for everyone and itll make or break you more than the other placements. Saturn in the ninth house - lazy asses, always looking for an easy way out. they know what the right thing to do is, but the likelihood of them doing it is never. its because saturn restricts there luck/ mind and they just have woe is me energy and its annoying make better choices, and if you dont stop crying about it. but if they act right saturn blesses them the fuck up. Saturn in the tenth house - okay these people think they are better than everyone and deserve everything, but they never receive the applause they crave. its never enough even if the whole room is looking at them they suddenly don't want it anymore. there karma everyone can see, and if its too good it feels like a curse, and when its bad and reality comes crashing down they just want to hide but they cant. own your life or it will own you. Saturn in the eleventh - there community will give them there karma, always these people dont have a place where they feel safe. because they never make anyone feel safe around them, then cry when no-one gives them that favour. stfu and treat us better and maybe we will do you better. Saturn in the twelfth - okay apparently this is where saturn is in its joy, and i guess its because god/ spirits judge you. and i guess thats a good thing because if anyone should judge you its him. except the pain here is you have ultimate freedom, you rarely get signs on what to do. will you make the right choice or the wrong once? well they are lucky because they always get there karma quickly so they can always recover fast. but these people struggle to empathise because they don't feel the energy of the room. sooooo just grow up you got the best saturn, and your karma resides is in your empathy. disclaimer - saturn wants you to be the best. and no one is.... so i like to think if you want a sense of direction (where are you going wrong) look at the saturn house and if you are successful congrats your doing saturn right. but be careful he always thinks you can do better, and he loves to humble you. so be-careful out there.

[rocketbirdie]

Arrrghh. People are finishing up Rebirth and looking up the different localizations, and the inevitable wave of hate for the English version is starting to gain traction again just like with Remake. I guess I just get super defensive about it because I have worked on large translation projects before, and it's not as straightforward as players seem to think.

It's not like the good ol' days of "This Guy Are Sick." They don't write the JPN script first, and then just send it out for translation anymore. Nowadays the different language scripts are all written simultaneously, with the teams working back and forth together, to check over each ofher's work and make sure that no one sentence is under- or overshooting a goal. Like it or not— everything is checked over and approved.

There's a lot more being translated than just words. There's so much to take into account— tone of voice, the cultural context, the lip sync and corresponding length of each line (which isn't allowed to run over by more than 0.2 seconds which is CRAZY). It's a messy process and it's a lot of goddamn work.

And then there's the audience, too. Different languages' audiences are often going to have wildly different interpretations of a character. A really good example from FFVII would be Yuffie. In the JPN version of the OG, Yuffie is written to be a confident girl who's dead serious about her ninja training. The ENG translation didn't do that justice... she instead comes off as a silly annoying kid pretending to be a ninja. Remake's DLC was testing the waters to see if they could write Yuffie in a way that's still faithful to both of the strikingly different regional perceptions of her character. And they nailed it.

The same thing happened with Cloud, and continues to influence the way he's written in the Re-trilogy. It's much more subtle than with Yuffie, but it's still noticeable, and I think it's why a lot of people get up in arms about his dialogue.

Cloud has always been written as having a stark disconnect between his tone of voice and his choice of words. It's just that the two major languages get it swapped! JPN Cloud has a harsh, mean tone, but his choice of words is polite and easygoing. On the other hand, ENG Cloud says a LOT of nasty shit out loud, but his true feelings are betrayed by his soft voice and gentle body language.

The difference goes unnoticed by the average player who isn't so invested to give a damn. But if you're actively searching for "bad translations" to get mad at, then you'll find them where one version's Cloud comes off a bit too strong. It's only natural that English Cloud is the one that pisses people off more often— after all, he's literally saying stupid shit to to piss other characters off constantly. His character is so convincing that players want to reach into their screens and wring his neck, and I think that's glorious.

But that's why it upsets me to see people turn that frustration at the localization teams. They didn't "ruin" a character's dialogue— they were just barely able to make something work, all things considered. Character, line length, culture, story context, facial animations, voice acting, for MULTIPLE languages, like... holy shit. It's a miracle that most of it is really really good, and that the bad is only a little bit bad.

Idk where this rant is going. Just... c'mon people. Have some respect for such an insanely complicated art form.

[yandere-romanticaa]

I need to talk about ADA! Dazai and Beast! Dazai because Beast ruined me beyond repair.

ADA! Dazai is like a beautiful red rose which caught your eye - you wish to have it, to pluck it, but it's so easy to forget that roses have very, very sharp thorns. Dazai has many people around him but a tiny few he can confidently say he trusts.

Which is why he might just be a bit prickly at the start.

Don't get me wrong, he is still the same old Dazai you first met. Confident, flirty, intelligent, a giant tease! Life is a breeze with him, there isn't anything in the world which Dazai can't do or crack wide open. It's so easy to spill all of your deepest, darkest secrets to him, so easy to open up and become dependent on him.

But just when you think you have him figured out, you're right back to square one.

ADA! Dazai, who does not know what to do with himself or you for that matter. How fun and cute you are, your crush is so obvious. He can't help it, he just has to tease you, you always give him the best reactions. He chooses to be careful with you in the beginning, think of dipping your toes in cold water for the first time.

Time passes and Dazai opens himself up to you. You are finally allowed to caress his scarlet red petals albeit with his thorns still in the way. They prickle and hurt, they may even leave a scar or two in their way but you don't care. Loving Dazai is like a drug, once you get a taste you can never get enough. The constant need for his attention and validation is just too intoxicating and Dazai is none the wiser.

Beast! Dazai though... Where do I even start?

This man and his love, to me at least, kind of feels like the lyric "Here comes the sun, she's the brightest star of them all." from the song Sonne by Rammstein.

There is absolutely nothing this man won't do for you and I mean it.

Beast! Dazai is terrifying and he knows it. He regularly uses and manipulates his authority and throws threats around like candy, particularly if his subordinates decide to question why on Earth would he settle for someone like you. You, his sweet, precious, darling, addicting little you, the reason why his heart beats and why he decides to take a breath and live the life he wants to live... As much as he can, that is...

Beast! Dazai uses your fear as a leverage and toys with you in a similar fashion to ADA! Dazai but there is a grim feeling to it, kind of like sticky black tar, it never leaves your person. He never allows you to breathe because he simply must be with you all day, every day. The sheer intensity of his stare alone is something worthy of the history books as even some of the most seasoned and battle hardened mafiosos can't help but to be off put by their boss. Everything is crystal clear right from the get go, anyone who messes with you messes with him, the Port Mafia boss himself and they will answer for their crimes no matter how miniscule they may be.

Beast! Dazai, who is desperate for you and your love but never manages to tell you. Instead he chooses to isolate you, to make you dependent on him so that you can have no one to turn to other than him. ADA! Dazai is at least sensible enough to understand that yes, personal choice actually does matter even if he will have it play out how he wants to in the end but Beast! Dazai does not have the time for that shenaniganary! He hides his despair and need for you like a true master of all lies and trickery. He tells you he could kill you immediately, put a bullet in your head and find someone else to screw with and you believe him.

How can you not?

Never in a million years could you predict that this man was ready to destroy the world for you and create it anew, that no one else in this world, this universe could ever replace you.

You, his sun, moon, star, his heart. His everything. And you will never know. But that's okay because Dazai knows. And he will always keep you close, forever and always.

���️ TAGS: @yanroma, @oneoftheprettynerds, @misdollface, @sxy0ung, @rosemary108233, @itssara-chan

[butwhatifidothis]

I think the main thing that makes Edelstans' version of Edelgard so annoying is that she ultimately has every ounce of agency stripped out of her, by people who insist that they're "making her grow" into a character they already made her out to be from the start. We get told that Edelgard has this amazing character arc, and then are presented with a Mary Sue with no discernable flaws and/or who makes no substantial mistakes.

This Edelgard is perfect out the box, no discolorations or tears to be seen. She just has a bit of dust, but the doll itself is flawless. And that is, in the end, what ruins her. She’s not prideful and arrogant, she’s not stubborn and narrow-minded, she’s not manipulative and deceitful, she’s not violent and abrasive, she’s not nationalistic and imperialistic, but nor is she fearless and confident, she’s not ambitious and resolute - she has none of her character flaws or boons, because they make her too full of agency. They drive her to choose to do anything; they're not forces outside of her control that make her do things that she would just never, ever do were the WORLD not so broken and flawed.

The few "flaws" Edelstans begrudgingly allow her are only meant to further endear her to the player. She’s childish, but only because she’s oh so traumatized and that should be accepted as who she is and not something to grow out of (nor something that is truly wrong of her to be even in her 20's). She’s self-unaware, but only because the world made her unsure of who she really is, which is a perfect little angel. The only "mistakes" she makes are because others failed her; Byleth and the Black Eagles fail Edelgard in the Holy Tomb, that wasn't her fault, they didn't ensure her that they could be trusted, for example.

Claude and Rhea have flaws - real flaws, that aren't "they just don't wove themselves enuff." Dimitri makes mistakes - real mistakes, that aren't "he twusted the wrong people and got hurt fwom them." They are allowed to misstep and stumble, to steer off of a purely good path due to actions that they chose to make, they get to grow as characters. But any imperfection found in the Edelstan Edelgard is only due to her environment, not her own nature. Narratively, she never does any wrong; anything bad she ever does is really someone else's fault.

She’s just a little flower plucked of all her thorns, safe and easy to pick up and admire, weak, meek and too innocent and pure for this dirty dirty world, coveted by all for her perfection and beauty.

Which is just so... boring? And annoying? That literally no matter what happens to her or what she herself does, it's never a result of Edelgard doing something but something being done to Edelgard? UNLESS it's a purely good action, then suddenly she has all the agency in the world and should be responsible for it? It's so clear that this Edelgard is one that is sanitized of any pesky little flaw that could make people dislike her or like her in the "wrong" way (because liking villains for being villains Is Wrong), and that is ironically the exact reason why she's so insufferable.

Like, it's almost kinda hard to explain why having a character choose to be an asshole is so much more engaging to watch than having a character be entirely reactive UNTIL they can get Good Noodle Stars because.... yeah? Of course? Because there's more meat to bite into whenever a character makes a choice - whether kind or spiteful, whether good or bad - over someone else forcing a character to do something.

"Edelgard believes in imperialism because she has been raised in and agrees with a culture that believes itself to be the rightful 'owner' of the continent due to it being the progenitor country, and she genuinely believes Fodlan would be better if back under this 'glorious' reign of Adrestia, even despite her being around those outside of Adrestia for almost a year" says so much about her AND Adrestia. "Edelgard DOESN'T believe in imperialism, it's just that everyone else is doing so badly that they FORCE her to kill them or otherwise get rid of them" says things about the ones DOING things badly, MAYBE, but all it says about Edelgard is that she Doesn't Like Bad Things. Or, oh so much deeper, it says she likes *gasp* Good Things! How brave, how stunning! And before you can try to say "Well maybe Edelgard went to violence so quickly because she views fear and control to be the best way to force a society into being 'good' over trying to convince people peacefully," the Edelstan Edelgard is already packaged with "Edelgard went to war first because literally everyone MADE her go to war because THEY wouldn't let anything else work."

"Edelgard tried to assassinate Dimitri and Claude at the very beginning of the game because she wanted to make her eventual war go way easier" turns into the infamous "Edelgard was just trying to scare THE TEACHER away to get JERITZA installed in their place, and CLAUDE ruined it by running away; she wasn't ACTUALLY trying to hurt anyone." "Edelgard let Remire be massacred because - like she literally said she would - she was willing to sacrifice her people's lives in service of her higher cause" turns into one of "TWS forced her to be compliant" or "Edelgard definitely didn't know anything because she would have stopped it had she known." "Edelgard directly assisted in Flayn's kidnapping because TWS having more tools to work with means she gets more weapons to fight with" turns into "She was forced to do that." "Edelgard helped hide Kronya among the student populace even as she kidnapped students and mutated them into Demonic Beasts because it will help in giving her Demonic Beasts to work with in the war" turns into, you guessed it, "Edelgard was forced to do that." "Edelgard sent her army and Demonic Beasts onto either her direct Black Eagle classmates or otherwise innocent students to stop them from stopping her from getting Crest Stones to use in her upcoming war"? Oh, a surprise! "She HAD to do that, because OTHER PEOPLE were going to take the Crest Stones if she didn't!"

She was forced to, she wasn't hurting/trying to hurt anyone, she didn't do anything wrong - if her actions lead to people getting hurt and/or killed, those are the exclusive reasons allowed as to why she did it. These reasons being excuses to alleviate her of any accountability, not genuine explanations that still demand her to take accountability.

Meanwhile, Rhea distorted history to keep her and her family safe - which in verse is said to be something she was still wrong to do, and which in verse she ADMITS was wrong of her to do. Dimitri was absolutely willing to torture Randolph because he viewed the guy as less than human and felt him getting such inhumane treatment was justice - which he directly takes accountability for to Randolph's remaining family. Claude weaseled up to Byleth because he felt he could use them for his own ambitions - which he owns up to and grows out of doing. Regardless of context explaining why they did this or that, they did this and that. They own their actions and are responsible for them, no one else. And, you know, because they own their actions, they can, uh. Grow from said actions? Look back on what they did and go "huh, shouldn't have done that, I will choose to not choose to do those actions again"?

Like I'm sorry but you can't choose to not get fucked by literally the entire damn world and that's what makes Edelsue so fucking boring and uninteresting and annoying. All of that meticulous planning Edelgard did for years to enact this war, in this interpretation, boils down to "she didn't do shit, everyone else did, she was just forced to be the fall guy." Any action that isn't squeaky clean in moral whiteness has nothing to do with her agency and that sucks ass

[hinakazino]

Royal Reverse Harem, Gojo/Reader

#1 Continuation of the Royal Reverse Harem series! This'll be a mini series, just with interesting scenarios with JJK. <3 Warnings: Obsessive Gojo, mean gojo, toji/reader & gojo/reader.

When you'd first transferred into the novel, you were in a state of shock. The fancy bedroom, the beautiful decor, the utter amount of respect you were given, and the overly expensive food was awesome. Reality didn't really hit you until after a week or so.

You felt so stupid, you had wasted a week doing pretty much nothing except enjoy your new lifestyle. Sure the maids, butlers, and EVERYONE seemed terrified of you but all you really thought about was being nice to change their opinions.

Your idea of "I'll just be good and live my life happily watching my favorite characters" came completely crashing down when Gojo decided to pay you a visit. By now, thankfully you already set in motion your plan to change public opinion but Satoru had other ideas.

Satoru was stunning, a majestic being. He looked like an angel who had been sent from the heavens, sculpted by the gods themselves. His soft white hair and striking blue eyes, and oh goodness, his soft lips. It was a little embarrassing, how much you admired him.

When you first saw him, there was no doubt in your heart why the villainess loved him so much. Satoru was fascinating, not just in his standing but his mere presence demanded respect. You felt the air leave your lungs as you sat at the dinner table.

It was quiet for awhile, which made you feel awkward as Satoru himself was the one who requested your attendance. However, what you didn't know was that Gojo was just as confused with your silence. Normally you'd be speaking to him, in your confident haughty mannerisms.

He couldn't quite understand what was different today, you seemed, nervous? He didn't know, but what he did know was that at the moment he was fed up with your schemes. It was just too bad, he didn't know you weren't the actual villainess!!

"I don't understand why you're so silent, especially when you of all people should know why I'm here," he stated. Oh, now you were panicking, because you honestly had no idea what he was talking about!!

Silence seemed the best choice but this had only angered Satoru more. As the night progressed he had begun shouting at you, violently clattering plates to the floor, and commanding you to simply stay away from him.

It was a traumatizing experience, safe to say, after that Gojo Satoru did not look the same to you. Now whenever he was near you, whether it be just passing by or due to political, social, or marital reasons you tended to shift away whenever possible. Even when you were pressured by your family, which sucked, Gojo wasn't interested anyway so you snuck away most times.

In the end, you decided on a divorce, it was also the best step to ensure you stayed alive, which you asked for two weeks later after your dinner session with him. Satoru, although surprised by your request had asked whether this was a tactic to gain his favor.

"No, I truly want this divorce," you responded quietly, eyes not being able to meet his as you glanced everywhere but forward. You didn't know what to say to him anymore, it was not longer a feeling of awe and captivation anymore with him. Now, you simply wanted to be as far away from him as possible too.

Gojo on the other hand was delighted, had quickly signed the papers, and had pressured his father, the emperor, to confirm it a week later. Everyone was caught off guard by the sudden divorce, and word spread like wildfire.

Can you believe that the crown prince and, well, previous-to-be princess divorced? , I saw it coming from a mile away! That witch would've ruined this empire. , What does this mean, could it be that the rumor of the crown prince having a secret lover is true? Who is it? , Oh, I feel so sad for poor (y/n), she really is a kind woman, have you even spoken to her before?

The last statement made you proud when you heard of it from your lady-in-waitings. At the very least, public opinion had changed for you to some extent. You intended for it to continue turning positive for the better. Now that you stayed with your parents, maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

What you didn't realize was that after 3 months of divorce Gojo was beginning to rethink his choices. Firstly, he was annoyed because despite the divorce being official his father still pestered him on the daily. The truth was evident, the emperor did not approve of a commoner becoming the future empress (that said commoner, the female lead).

The emperor only agreed on this divorce because Gojo did make some sense, and, he didn't want to lose the support of one of the highest nobles in his empire. That being said, he either now expected Satoru to find another noble lady (many available) or crawl back to you (honestly emperor has given up on trying to be civil).

Due to these factors, Satoru has still be thinking of you. However, he wasn't that interested until just about the 2nd month after your divorce with him. See, the reason was that he had eyes on you anyway, his spies in your estate told him anything they deemed necessary. What were you going to do? Go after the female lead again?

It was all too predictable, which was why when Satoru's father yelled at him for not doing anything he was confused. "What is it now father?" he responded, irritated. "YOU FOOL. (Y/N)'S ALREADY COURTING OTHERS, THE ZENIN, SOUND FAMILIAR? Oh.. you're a lost cause now..." his father had responded, tired and exhausted of his son.

That was when Gojo was informed by his spies, that you, in fact, had been in much contact with Toji much recently. Then, when Gojo asked why his men hadn't reported anything, they stated that they had mentioned it once already but nothing important seemed to come up other than you both being acquaintances. Plus, the rumor was everywhere anyway, they'd assumed he'd heard.

Now, Satoru began to watch you more intensively, peaked even higher when at a social party just 2 days later, you were dancing with Toji. Both of you so friendly, even Gojo was dumbfounded as to how. Didn't Toji not like you?

After Toji, there was Geto, Gojo's best friend turned into one of the Empire's sole enemies. A true tragedy that was, and yet, you were spotted with him as part of reports following his activity! Which occurred to everyone considered an enemy of the empire, but you? What were you doing with him?

Then there was the flirting with Choso, and your newfound friendship with Yuki. You were on a roll of drama, being front and center on stage whilst promoting good deals which pleased all classes on the social hierarchy. Gojo was at a loss and at the same time, thrilled? No, maybe jealous, not of you but those associated with you.

He hadn't seen you like that before, you looked genuinely happy now. You were having fun at social gatherings, not having a care in the world. Despite your obvious scandalous behavior, you were no longer committing acts of evil and, no longer glancing at him. Which didn't feel right!!

Gojo Satoru hated to admit it, but if this was another one of your games it was definitely working. Only a couple months after separation, and he was watching your every move. Even beginning to reconsider his choices, thinking how the female lead wasn't as interesting anymore to him.

Sadly, it was a bit too late now but Gojo has decided, he wants to win back your favor. A crown prince, a noble lady previously wed to him, what could potentially go wrong?

© 2024 by Hinakazino, do not translate/edit/claim or use my work in any form.

[scekrex]

hey, hear me out, Adam with a reader with lots of tattoos, like, the WHOLE body, and Adam finds the reader really badass and try to do a tattoo too but he totally regrets it afterwards

Okay so reader's not only tattooed but also a self-taught tattoo artist bc I said so °^° I hope ya like Adam's breakdown over a shitty tattoo <3

He can fix it

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Adam adored every single drop of ink that had been poked underneath your skin, even if he didn’t understand certain design choices, he loved your tattoos, thought they made you look badass.

And then one day you had gotten home from yet another appointment, heaven had two, maybe three tattoo studios and the only one near you was fucking shitty so getting a tattoo always went hand in hand with being gone for at least three days - yet it was always worth the travel because at least they did a good job. There was one little studio close to you, the artists weren’t nice, their work wasn’t good and every damn day you wondered how they managed to pay rent because there was simply no way people were actually getting tattooed there. But on the other hand it really wasn’t your place to judge because you had started just as shitty when you had started to learn the skill of tattooing. You hadn’t tattooed others though, only ever practiced on fake skin or your own body.

So when you got home from your latest appointment and proudly showed Adam your newest tattoo, the first man was quite surprised that it was related to him. You proudly flexed your forearm as you showed him the artwork of the battle ax version of his guitar that would now forever be on your skin. “You’re absolutely fucking insane, babes,” he wispered as his hand grabbed your wrist in order to pull your arm closer to his face to see the artwork up close. It was a super detailed image that left Adam breathless, he loved it so much. “This is fucking on point, and the blood sinner dripping from it? Holy fuck man.” You shot him a teasing grin as you pulled your arm back to grab the first man by his collar and pull him in, “So, when do ya get my weapon tattooed?” It wasn’t meant as an honest question, you knew Adam adored tattoos on your skin but getting inked up himself? He wasn’t so sure about it. The pain he would be able to handle without any problems, that wasn’t his deal at all. It was more about the design. And to be fair? Getting your halberd tattooed sounded like a great fucking idea in his ears. So he offered you an equally teasing smirk as he tilted his chin upwards and confidently replied, “I’m gonna make an appointment right fucking now.” You curiously raised an eyebrow at Adam, he had been so quick to decide for something so permanent? It wasn’t that the first man was against inking up his own skin - far from it actually, he had told you so often that he wanted tattoos too, but whenever you had offered to design him one he had backed out. So this decision came quite surprisingly. "You sure? Y’know that ya don’t have to-” “Oh shut your fucking mouth, I fucking know okay? "BUT I wanna.” His voice didn’t sound as confident anymore and you seriously questioned the decision he had just made. But if he was so sure about it, you would let him have some fun. He had to know what he was doing, that really wasn’t your place to tell him no.

-

Adam had made an appointment at the tattoo studio near your apartment, you had told him that their work lacked skill but he had simply ignored it, had told you that it’ll be fine. He simply was too lazy to travel so fucking far for something as simple as a tattoo, and seriosly how bad could it be?

Well, very fucking bad.

Because when the brunette opened the door to your shared apartment and his eyes met yours, you knew they had fucked up. There was disappointment in his expression, guilt for not listening to you and discomfort for what they had done to his body. They had ruined it, the lines were wobbly, the coloring was so inaccurate and the details of the carvings had been completely ignored, for fucks sake, Adam was sure a toddler would’ve done better.

You got up from the couch immediately, “Show me,” there was no excitement in your voice and the first man knew you were aware of the situation. “Fuck no,” Adam pressed his left forearm thightly against his chest, ignoring the pain that shot through his arm at the firm contact. His wings pushed you back a little as he wrapped them around you in order to feel protected - he was in pure discomfort. Why did he think going to that studio had been a good idea? You had informed him that their work wasn’t good, you had warned him. And he had actively decided to ignore that warning and now he would never be able to wear fucking short sleeved tops again. That’s how much he hated what they did to him. “Ain’t no fucking way I let you see this shit.” You sighed and your eyes softened a little, providing some comfort - you weren’t mad at Adam, why should you? But you guessed the way you had demanded to see the clearly fucked up tattoo made it seem like you were. “Adam, the tone of your voice matched the kindness your eyes offered and you gently reached for his wrist, “Show me so I can make a plan to fix it.”

His eyes shifted from the fresh tattoo that was covered by the sleeve of his robe to you and with a sigh he sunk his wings and extended his arm in your direction so that you could have a look. “They let you leave with that piece of shit on your skin?” you complained and looked at the LED expression his mask offered. “I’m here and that shit is on my arm, so yeah, they fucking did.” You guided him into the bedroom, letting him sit down on the bed. Your hands reached for his mask and carefully pulled it off his head, exposing his face, his eyes were filled with anger, sadness and regret. “Put on a shirt and a pair of sweatpants, calm yourself down a little and come to me when you’re ready okay?” You placed a quick kiss on the tip of his nose, “I’ll set up my tattoo needle and I’ll fix that mess for ya. Take all the time you need for that.” You were about to pull back and give him some space as he grabbed your wrist tightly and looked at you with wide eyes, “You can fix it?” You playfully rolled your eyes and shrugged, “Fuck yeah I can fix it bae.”

[beanghostprincess]

thinking thoughts about yamato being wano's guardian deity due to his fruit/wanting to protect and love wano due to his admiration and looking up to oden (and just generally being a cool guy but yknow ehat I'm talking about). and him being kaido's son. i just. THE FACT THAT THE SON OF THE MAN WHO BROUGHT THE COUNTRY TO RUIN IS THE MAN WHO BOTH BY DESTINY AND CHOICE IS THE PROTECTOR OF THAT PLACE.

i could go on for hours about this they make me sick poesia portada al 100000% imo

Yamato is such a beautifully written character. I will never get tired of saying that. He's so, so well developed throughout Wano and I love every second we have of him. People keep criticizing it because they always turn his admiration for Oden into a discourse (something that is just dumb and people keep making transphobic comments about it when the story makes clear he's man, but okay) and I'm tired of them ignoring the poetry of it all. The son of the man who brought Wano to ruins, a kid who has never been free, finding hope and his destiny in the man his father despises and killed because he wanted his country to be free. It's just beautiful how Yamato goes against his abusive dad's desires and decides he wants to follow freedom instead, having Oden as a reference so much he wants to be him. Not to mention the conversation he has with Ace about not having to follow his father or loving him if he doesn't want to. It's such a powerful message, honestly. You don't have to love your blood or follow its steps if you don't want to. You can be free. Yamato literally goes against everything Kaido is and wants to be the man he despises the most. That's like, the peak of freedom when it comes to abused children. I understand why he wants to stay in Wano because it needs protection and because he wants to do what Oden did, but I can't wait for Yamato to actually join the Strawhats (because I'm confident he will someday) and start his journey. He means a lot to me and I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way.

[tathrin]

Okay I know I keep harping on this, but honestly it's the little details like costume and character design that tend to bother me more in adaptations than Big Changes (the latter feel like they're at least being done with intention so even if I don't like the choice that was made I at least can credit them for trying something even if it was dumb; the former to me tend to just come off as shortsighted or lazy or careless).

So now that I've seen (and enjoyed!) the last episode...

I just. can we take a minute and imagine how this would have gone if Celebrimbor had first walked onto screen like an elegant Elf Lord, in fine robes and jewels with his long hair done up in some intricate fashion, glittering and poised and full of confidence and grace...

Contrast that with Halbrand, bloodied and barefoot human, one of the short-lived Secondborn, a vanquished king of a fallen people. Two characters so far apart they might as well have the Sundering Seas between them.

Then Halbrand comes back dirt-stained and drenched in the rain, a miserable powerless creature, and Celebrimbor comes out to meet him as the lofty Lord of Eregion; then slowly show the shift, as Celebrimbor's pride starts to whisper to him and Annatar steps out of the light in his robes, lovely but pale and simple, a creature of the Valar, ready to kindle all the hopes the Celebrimbor thought long lost...

Of course Celebrimbor grows less elegant and coiffed as he gets more and more involved in his project, swapping the fine robes out for a smith's apron and the elegant grace for passionate excitement; and Annatar becomes a little more polished, and little more put-together, until along the way he ends up in the same type of apron, the same gear, and for a moment there in the smithy they match: creators, equals, partners, friends.

(For a moment, it all seems like it could go well.)

Then it starts moving the other direction.

Celebrimbor grows increasingly disheveled as Annatar begins adopting more and more finery. Then the time-loop, Celebrimbor falling apart, soot-streaked and manic; and Annatar swanning around Eregion like an elvish lord of the Elder Days, vibrantly colored and glittering with embellishment. The way Celebrimbor was when we first saw him. No wonder everyone in Eregion looks at Celebrimbor and believes so readily that his mind is slipping! no wonder they turn to Annatar instead, so polished and put-together and confident, and place all their doomed hopes instead in him...!

Then the end, with Celebrimbor maimed and bloody, robes blackened with ashes, lying in a dying heap of destruction; and Annatar standing over him still looking perfect, not a hair out of place...a visual reversal of where they started, one rising to his greatest heights (but doomed to fall, staring up at the elf he's destroyed) the other crumbling and broken in filth and agony (but seizing that last bitter victory, staring down from the banner-pole at Sauron and seeing the doom that will find him someday)...!

The journey, the contrast, the mirroring: the parallels moving in opposite directions, meeting on the way and ending in ruin—!

(And they did this, yes, a bit...but because they started off with Celebrimbor dressed in those simple slouchy robes with messy Hobbit-curl hair, there just isn't as much of a linear visual journey for him to take, so it doesn't come across as noticeably as it could; and it doesn't hit with the intensity that it ought to in the end.)

(And it could have! It could have!)

(And it drives me nuts it didn't.)

[20dollarlolita]

I hope this doesn't come across weird but...Thanks for posting pictures of you being pretty while using mobility aids! It has genuinely been really helpful to me in terms of convincing me that I can and should use them and that they won't make me look bad or take away from my outfits when I do. I've got a roolator and a wheelchair coming soon. :)

Thank you!

It's really inspiring to know that posing with my mobility aids can help someone else feel more comfortable using them. I really like posing with them and showing that the beauty of an outfit isn't changed or detracted from by the presence of mobility aids.

But, full honesty, I pose with mobility aids to show myself that the beauty of a look isn't detracted from or changed by my mobility aids. I spend way too much energy worrying about how I look to other people when using my mobility aids. The reason that I got home from buying a rollator and immediately made this post was to convince myself that it looked okay to use.

And my mobility aid choices should absolutely not be influenced by how it looks to other people, but I've got a crazy amount of internalized ableism that gets in the way of that. I've also been wearing EGL fashion since 2011 and so, while I'm really self-conscious about people staring at me for being a younger person with a rolling walker, I'm absolutely used to people staring at me for being the most extravagantly and beautifully dressed person in the entire Dollar Tree. This has led me to believe in the existence of the Emotional Support Coord. If I don't feel confident going out with my mobility aid, but I feel okay doing it if I have an absurd dress and some petticoats to act as a buffer, that's an Emotional Support Coordinate.

Having pink hair helps too.

Anyway, I'm super honored to find out that what I do for myself is helping other people. Thank you for telling me <3.

I do like posing with my mobility aids. Pictures are images of where and what and who I was at the time it was snapped, and my mobility aids were there, so they should be in the image.

And just remember, your mobility aid is never going to ruin a picture or an outfit. You're not doing anything wrong by not having it in the picture, unless you're putting your health or safety at an unacceptable risk by posing without it (and that's between you and your care team, honestly, and isn't the business of any stranger on the internet). But in this picture, I opted to pose with a cane instead of my rollator entirely because I wanted to keep the all-black look going. My rollator was sitting next to my friend taking the picture, and I went back to using it as soon as the picture was done, and I was just carrying the cane around uselessly since I brought it JUST for the picture.

But if someone ever says that my mobility aids are going to ruin an event or a picture or a moment, I always want to ask them to get my perspective, and just sit in my wheelchair for a second.

So that I could push them off the cliff like they deserve. Your mobility needs are not a burden. Your comfort and safety is not a burden. It's not ugly and no one has the right to ask you to hide it.

[anastacialy]

actually, fuck it, i AM writing the essay, even if no one will read it.

my thoughts on penelope, how she sees herself, and why the carriage scene's ending is the most important thing in the whole wide world under the cut. and bridgerton season three part one spoilers, obviously.

penelope featherington hates herself. bit of a strong start here but, there we go. that's what you get when i'm going feral about her again at three in the morning. (it was eleven a.m. when i finished writing this post. i rewatched all four episodes of season three...)

i'll start from the beginning — she isn't a confident person. i think that's what a lot of penelope hate really comes down to, not relating to her in that way at all. not understanding what being treated the way she has can do to you. so let's start here:

imagine for a moment, no one fucking listens to you.

this includes her favorite people in the world. her family, for one thing, that's obvious, but her best friend, too. many times we hear eloise discover and re-discover what penelope's interests are in the series because, as she says, "i didn't really hear it." she was so frequently not really listening to her. they've been friends for years, but huge aspects of her friend's personality were completely unknown to her. this isn't anti-eloise by the way, i love her too, but we're adults who can admit our favs are all flawed people. the show wouldn't be nearly as fun if they weren't. eloise continues to belittle others for their interests when they don't match up to hers (like that poor girl who was just really passionate about embroidery) and she's done so to pen, however unknowingly, for ages.

penelope tried to beg marina to not fool colin into marriage. she had so, so many other suitors, so many other choices she could have made. all pen wanted was to not have her other best friend slash crush make that life altering of a mistake. but for this, she was called a child. immature. talked down to as if she knows nothing about the world. (she had been mostly right, by the way, in her insisting that george must still love marina, would still want to marry her, discovering that the letter had been forged. if he'd not died on the battlefield, penelope would have been the one to secure a happy ending for marina.) when she wasn't listened to then, she got more desperate, telling colin that marina was in love with someone else to deter him from the marriage while still careful to not ruin marina's reputation and expose her pregnancy in the process. she tried. but no one would listen.

so only when the situation became dire, she did the only thing that she could, and took matters into her own hands.

which brings us to lady whistledown.

it's interesting, really, that she chose that name. to specify lady so she might be taken seriously, yet not hide under a pseudonym completely removed from herself (i.e. using a masculine pen name or implying she's not a part of the ton at all) it's clear that lady whistledown is, for the most part, what penelope wants to and yet fails to be: someone who commands attention, who people admire and trust for an opinion, someone who gets listened to.

by the time we find her in season three, she's fresh off hearing her crush saying he'd never, ever court her, and her best friend finding out that she was lady whistledown all along and had exposed a secret of hers — only after penelope had, of course, also begged eloise to stop seeing theo, to stop raising the queen's suspicions, and was once again ignored. her only friendships have been destroyed, and she has resigned herself to a loveless marriage of convenience because she can't stand to be ignored, controlled, and belittled by her family any longer. she's ready to take the devil she doesn't know over the devil she does.

so, when i say her self confidence is on the floor, i mean it.

yes, a sliver of hope remains in her, and we can see that in her decisions (wearing parisian fashions, for instance) but her plan remains, she is simply going to marry someone, anyone, because she has to.

but even still, her confidence has not taken it's last hit.

let's imagine some more: no matter what you do, people are going to laugh at you.

penelope finally, finally gets her big moment. people stare at her as she enters the room. she still immediately hides herself in a corner because that's who she's always been, but still. she has a moment. not quite what she'd imagined, i'm sure, as she bought all new gowns, but attention and awe nonetheless. but it cracks almost instantly when her social awkwardness comes out, failing to get anyone to ask her to dance, and shatters completely when cressida destroys her dress before she can ever take to the floor.

colin tells her she looks nice, and her immediate reaction is "do not mock me, please."

it's only after this that she confronts colin about what he said, only after this that she speaks ill of him as lady whisteldown — not saying any more than what his sister had already pointed out earlier in the episode, mind you, that his change in personality seemed disingenuous — only after she has been publicly humiliated that she lashes out in her anger.

and, this anger, she also immediately regrets after colin has proven himself to be kind. it's a bit like making a snide comment online without the ability to delete it after.

but when penelope has hope, she is kind. she writes of the promising ladies of the ton and wishes them well with their matches, when she has hope she speaks positively of would-be spinsters and their successful marriages. many of her earlier musings in previous seasons were to call the women of the ton beautiful, to speak to their skills.

but hope for penelope does not last long. she manages to successfully speak to one suitor at the next ball (which, though this is another argument entirely, is backed by a string quartet version of "jealous" as colin re-approaches her at the drinks table — any arguments that his feelings start at their kiss isn't paying near enough attention) but the entirely true rumor about her having help from him spreads through the vine and penelope is hopeless once more.

and a hopeless penelope is a cruel penelope, as we've seen, and this time, she turns that cruelty inward, publicly. while she later says it would have been suspicious if lady whistledown hadn't commented, in truth, she has proven time and time again that her emotions rule lady whistledown's writings. in that moment, eyes tearful, she was embarrassed and ashamed of herself, she decided to say so. she repeats the same sentiment to colin when he comes to visit her:

"in truth i brought this on myself. a sad, stupid girl who believed she might actually have a chance at love."

and here is where lady whistledown continues to be someone penelope sees as different to herself, because penelope doesn't see herself as a lady. not just for lack of title — she does not see herself as worthy of or requiring protection. to call back to antony's season one romance: "every woman is not afforded such gallant protection." "every woman is not a lady."

she says nothing of him bribing her maid to give them time alone. like most of the ton she doesn't think the time they spend alone together could be anything other than platonic, at least on his end. they spent extended time unchaperoned at the bridgerton house and not once did she speak on impropriety. he'd been alone with her in the previous season and even when they were caught no one had a thing to say about it. no one questions it because penelope is not recognized as desirable, not seen as needing this protection, not seen as a lady. she is seen, even by herself, as a spinster already.

when she asks colin for a kiss, she reassures him that she would ask nothing of him for it, she would not entrap him in a marriage citing impropriety, she doesn't even think about whether someone might see. she does not care in this moment if she is to be "ruined," she only wants to feel some illusion of intimacy, some imitation of being wanted. even her running back inside immediately after, and the subsequent conversation under the willow tree, are further proof that she doesn't believe he could have kissed her for any reason other than pity.

and, even after all she goes through with lord debling, she is still not the only object of his affections. the entire time she pursues him, cressida is there, hot on the trail, ready to sweep him away on a moment's notice. penelope writes of their dance that his choice of her is surprising. though her feelings for colin have not simply fluttered away once debling's shown interest, her possible engagement to debling is on a wavering tightrope. not once in this can she feel wholly at ease with lord debling, only afforded a bit of security once he asks her mother for her blessing. and amongst this, her mother still belittles her, saying she should not become greedy for wanting to marry someone who actually cares for her.

she asks lord debling if he might ever love her, in all the years of marriage they may have ahead, and he says probably not.

and when colin breaks up her proposal, insisting debling isn't right for her, still penelope does not even consider, can not even conceptualize that it might be done out of jealousy. colin having feelings for her is laughable, she says as much, and it is the same thing she has been told over and over since the start. he chases after her carriage out of breath asks to be let in, gets on his knees and tells her he can't stop dreaming of her and she tells him "please. do not say things you do not mean." she cannot imagine that any of this is real. it is confusion that prompts her to repeat the agreement they had in episode one, "but, colin, we are friends."

and while an entirely separate essay could be written about the rest of the carriage scene, it is what happens the moment the carriage arrives at bridgerton house that stands out to me. they have this moment, colin asks "could the carriage driver not keep on driving?" and they both laugh, the way they always do with one another, and he fixes her dress (carefully, avoiding using a select few fingers as he does so) and they kiss again, and he gets out of the carriage.

and for a single, heartbreaking second, penelope's face falls, and she calls after him: "colin?"

it is so clear in her demeanor that she thought that was it; that's all she gets. the fantasy is over and it is back to reality. for a split second, she believes he is no longer hers.

for a single second, it's as though she thinks he is going to shut the carriage door on her, and walk away.

but he turns around, hand outstretched, asking if she'd like to come in. and she's once again confused, "what?"

do not say things you do not mean. do not mock me please.

and when he says: "for god's sake, penelope featherington, are you going to marry me or not?"

she looks so relived she could cry.

[exuberantocean]

I want to talk about responsibility in Our Flag Means Death. And I want to talk about it specifically after watching Stede blame himself for Ed's actions and I want to talk about it after watching a number of people in fandom blaming Izzy for Ed's actions.

Because they were Ed's actions. Ed absolutely did those things. No one forced him to attempt to kill Lucius. No one forced him to strand half the crew or torture Izzy or drive the boat into that storm. These are things Ed did of his own free will.

I hope, I really hope that people understand that ultimately the one responsible for Ed's actions is, well, Ed. Because he was the one to do them. Was his mental health good at the time? Ha, God no. But while that certainly makes it easier to understand his actions, it doesn't excuse them and it doesn't make them right. They are still his actions, his responsibility.

Did Stede's failure to show up at the end of season 1 cause Ed's mental state? Look, it was crushing (for both of them in different ways really). But look, Ed could have assumed something happened to Stede (which really, something did happen to Stede) rather than leap to the conclusion that Stede rejected him. And even given that, most people who break up with or are rejected by a loved one don't do *vague handwave at the first 3 episodes of season 2* ...all that.

There's nothing wrong with Ed feeling rejected and sad. There's a hell of a lot wrong with his actions.

Did Izzy's words and actions cause Ed's mental state? Well, obviously they didn't help. If I recall correctly, Izzy's made some sort of comment to Stede about ruining Blackbeard which surely contibuted to Stede's mental state and his actions at the end of s1 but, you know, Stede's a grown man and his actions are his own. Similarly, Izzy's taunts to Ed at the end of s1 come from a place where Izzy had a specific idea of how Ed was that was, well, perhaps not as wrong as some fans would like to think, but certainly incomplete, lacking, perhaps even misunderstood.

Perhaps misunderstood works best. Izzy knows the confidence that Blackbeard has always seemed to hold, the command, the compacity for violence, but he lacks the understanding of who Ed is. It's understandable that Izzy would want that back (I mean, I hate to break it to you, but they're pirates, the violence thing is part of all that). But, you know, I don't think Izzy's ever been a character motivated by just a desire to fuck things up. He's no Iago. Izzy clearly loves Blackbeard and that's perhaps his greatest flaw. He loves Blackbeard so much, but doesn't understand Ed at all.* ** Regardless of Izzy's motivations, he does play a significant role in escalating the situation. He words contribute to both Stede and Ed's turmoil. I'm not saying he has zero accountability here.

But.

Ed always had a choice one what to do, how to react. His actions remain his own. He could have ignored him, or tried to get over Stede or had Izzy tossed off the ship or any number of things. Instead, Ed chose to do what he did.

More importantly, by denying or ignoring Ed's own capability for his own actions, I feel like it overlooks what I see as the most powerful potential storyline in the show (obviously, I have no clue if they'll actually go this way, but I hope they do).

Ed, the man who feels unlovable has done horrible things. And, just maybe, he can still be loved. (Oh let's face it, we know he will be - he is already by Stede.) I don't even mean just by Stede (I mean, let's face it, Stede's likely to continue blaming himself for this), but by the crew he so badly treated. It will be interesting to see how things move forward. Regardless, I can't wait to see what happens next.

Who hasn't done horrible things? I mean, hopefully not at Ed levels of horrible. But God, what a lesson to be learned, to be loved even after your worst. One of the reason I think we humans are so compelled to create and follow stories is that we learn so well through them. How many of us out there feel unlovable, unloved, as deeply as Ed? How many of us are drowning in our misery, pulled down by weight of our own trauma, or our wrongdoings or perceived wrongdoings?

And how many of us are just as wrong as Ed was? Not because we aren't capable of bad-because new alert-we all are, but because we aren't defined by that and because we aren't destined to be defined by our darkest moments. And because humanity is even more defined by it's compacity to love and forgive than it is for our compacity to hurt and destroy.

Because I want to watch both that boat and it's co-captain rebuilt together.

*This is, perhaps, why Ed could never love Izzy. Because all Izzy saw was Blackbeard and Ed needed someone to love Ed - someone he could be Ed with and that be okay. Perhaps things will shift between Ed and Izzy after this...I mean, things must shift between the two after this, but perhaps Izzy will finally start seeing Ed? Who knows.

I also think Izzy's work at protecting the crew and his attempt to fix the situation (woefully too late) is worth something).

[sophieinwonderland]

Preface: People are going to assume this is a response to recent drama. So I want to say that I started writing this draft before that one blog's response to me. It was shortly after midnight on the 8th when it was just barely what I consider my Birthday. I was reflecting on my 3 years of existence and where I am now. The fact that I got the response I did later that same day is a total coincidence.

I don't feel like I have friends anymore...

That's an awful thing to admit.

I have one other system I feel like I talk to with any sort of regularity, who I love and consider friends. But they're not involved with syscourse which is so often where my mind goes. And so I don't talk to them about it because I don't want to trouble them, which means I don't talk to them because I can't think of what to talk about.

What else do I care about?

I mean, there are other things I care about, but they probably wouldn't care about those things. And I struggle to find something to say. Something that feels worthy of their time. But again, not syscourse or something that would bring them down.

I've had other friends. But they've faded away with time. One by one.

And a lot of that is my fault. I'm not good at being a friend or knowing what to say. And I'm not very good at opening myself up.

And when I can't think of what to say, I choose to say nothing. I ghost people I like because it's hard to maintain those relationships.

And I'm aware on some level that this hurts people. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who treated others the way I do.

And there will be times when I'll decide to do better. I will, with full confidence, say that I'm going to change. I'll be a better friend. A better person. I'll fully believe this is something I'll succeed at for the rest of the day. Then the next day comes and that conviction melts away.

I think one reason Jaiden's story of having ADHD appeals to me is that if this was the problem with us, maybe, we could identify it and then just take one little pill and it will fix me.

That's a nice fantasy, isn't it?

A naive fantasy that ignores the fact that I'm in the brain of someone who was homeschooled and barely had any friends as a child either. But it's a nice fantasy to hold onto anyway.

So, yeah. I don't feel like I have friends, for the most part, outside our system. I have a blog. I have followers. I have plenty of mutuals I like interacting with.

But there aren't people who I truly trust to let in. It doesn't feel like anyone actually knows me or who I am anymore, if anyone ever did.

Since I haven't posted on it for a week and don't know when I'll post on it again or if I will, here's a confession: I made @anti-lies! Sorry to ruin the mystery for anything speculating! Though I didn't think I was even that subtle about it.

But the only person I know who guessed it was me was SAS! Which, congratulations! But also, that's kind of a sad thought that the person who might know me better than anyone is someone who was my archnemesis for the past two-and-a-half years.

To be fair, SAS did imply that other people might have guessed it. But if so, whatever circles those conversations are happening in aren't ones I'm in.

Oh wait, I'm not really in any circles am I?

I'm on the outskirts of the community. I mean, that's sort of by choice really.

Public posts can bring more awareness of plurality and tulpamancy. Locking myself in Discord servers or some isolated community makes me feel like I'm wasting my time because I need to be talking about it publicly where the world can see. I really, really don't want to be part of a Discord server. It's my choice to stay out of those spaces and I don't regret that decision.

But sometimes it's weird when I realize that most everyone else is. That they're actually in plural communities in a way I'm not.

I wonder, do people even realize I'm an outsider? Again, by choice. I've been invited to servers and chose not to go. I'm not being ostracized or anything. I've turned down attempts at bringing me further in. No one is to blame but myself. But either way, the result is that I don't feel like I'm really part of the communities I spend so much time advocating for.

[felonytaxevasion]

Arc 2 Damages

Catching up on my horribly behind Pact Annotations 😔

2.1

“Blake,” Rose said. “It’s fine. It’s done, you’re in charge, I’m the backup. You want me to keep the criticisms to the most vital points? Fine. You want me to do the research and supplement what you’re doing, fine. You win.” “I don’t want to win. I want us to be on the same page.” “The same page? You got the power, I got… this. How do you have a partnership if things are this unequal? Let’s face it. Look at what happened to Molly. Grandmother is willing to use us as expendable assets. I’m nothing more than a piece in a greater puzzle. I’ll serve my role, and the road ends there. I’m the most expendable one of us.”

I severely SEVERELY doubt this Rose. Like I don't want to invalidate your feelings here but I feel like if you were a normal vestige you would also be named Blake and not y'know. Rose 2. Like presumably she got to root around for whatever reality she wanted so she not only picked girl Blake but she picked girl Blake who is named after herself.

Like Ivy is not named Rose. Presumably it was not your parents first choice. Though actually I do wonder about that. Was there a rule in reality proper about not naming your kids after Rose Sr. That feels like a really obvious appeal tactic I'm surprised none of them went for it.

“I don’t deny that they’re fucked up. But grandmother lived. She hit the ripe old age of eighty-five, and I doubt you do that while messing with stuff like this if you’re dumb. Besides, dumb people aren’t the type to spend the kind of power it takes to make a sapient being, only to throw it away like you’re talking about.”

Yes exaaactly

She shook her head. “No. Nothing. The early ones… I sort of skipped past the earliest diaries, because a child’s writing is hard to read in big doses. Some stuff on the relationships between the different groups here. But if you’re looking for tips on where to focus our studies, we may have to look a bit further.”

Very curious if the pages Rose read were the pages we got in the last interlude. I feel like the knowledge of why she didn't induct her children is valuable data to have. So if Rose knows it and isn't sharing that's suspicious. But also she might just not know. There's no way of knowing if the interlude is what she read. Deceptive and wiley Mr Wildbow

Cheap side-mirrors were about four dollars for a pair, round mirrors about six inches across. I checked that I could see Rose inside and grabbed twenty. I think she might have actually smiled, when I glimpsed her.

:)

His mother was forty and looked ten years older, by the condition of her skin and hair, her arms full with a bundle of shirts with superheroes on them.

WHICH SUPERHEROS??? A NOBLE BUG CONTROLLING GIRL WITH BIG WET EYES PERHAPS???

“Fine,” I said. “Let me give the basket to the cashier-” “Don’t be an asshole,” Callan said. “Go put it all back on the shelves and racks.”

This is so fucking funny. According to Blake and Rose Callan is a horrible asshole who conspires to ruin the lives of those around him for his own gain. But he draws the fucking line at being rude to service workers.

Three of the ribbons stood out from the rest. Too straight, too narrow. They were like spears that had penetrated Callan, Aunt Irene and Christoff and plunged into me. Forced connections between us. Too direct to be natural. Someone had aimed them at me.

The other funny possibility is that the DuChamps specific brand of fuckery said "bother Blake as much as possible while helping the average citizens of Jacobs Bell"

The girl smiled, giving me a look. Confident, brash, if I remembered right from the vision. Her brother kept his eyes straight forward, watching the ground for slick patches and lumps of snow he might stumble on. He was burdened down with bags of stuff, while she strutted.

Very interested to see how their relationship ends up paralleling or contrasting Blake and Rose's

Also I'm trying so hard to picture them as normal humans but at some point my brain decided to see them as the green haired Betty spaghetti villains from DreamWorks Trolls. It's making it very hard to take them serious

She would be the Briar Girl. No other name. A recent addition to the local population, as of six years ago. She apparently lived full-time in the woods and marshes behind Hillsglade House. Grandmother’s suspicion? She had contracted with a familiar too powerful for her to handle, creating something that was less a partnership than a practitioner dominated by the spirit. The bear-thing would be the familiar, the stick her implement.

She's very Rachel adjacent in a way

Maggie Holt, the girl with the checkered scarf. She was a teenager, making her slightly younger than the Briar Girl, and her eyebrows made her look perpetually angry, helped by a swift, graceless manner of walking.

Too an extent it really feels like Wildbow is taking maximum advantage that his reader base is coming from worm and hoping/expecting a new group of unruly young adults forming a found family via rebelling against authority like the Undersiders. Like at this point in the story it's so easy to imagine Laird as the sort of Armsmaster equivalent and Blake Rose Johannes Maggie and Briar unionizing to take him down. It's a clever misdirection and a compelling argument for reading the Wildbow Chronicles in order of writing

2.2

Vestige? “Of Rose?” the North End Sorcerer asked, his eyebrows raised. “Yes,” Padraic spoke out loud, at the same Laird said, “I don’t think so.”

I also have lots of questions about how much of Rosie is Blake and how much is Rose Sr

That being said. I don't think Padraic is the best judge of these things.

“Well,” he said. “Let’s get this out of the way. Who’s interested in taking the deal?” Wait. What? “Not seeing any raised hands,” Laird said. “It’ll be good if we get this out of the way, before it gets messy.”

You know maybe it was unfair to Laird to compare him to Victoria Dallon. He seems like he actually uses his brain to strategize sometimes.

“My rose has done what she aimed to,” Padraic said. “You’ve offended two of us, Aimon Behaim. Johannes and me both.” “I’m not Aimon, my name is Laird,” Laird said. Padraic looked a touch annoyed at being corrected. “Aimon, Laird, Lame Airhard, no matter. You’ve wounded me, ignoring me in this critical moment. I have far more to lose than you, don’t I? An immortal lifespan, against, what, thirty more of your years? Twenty of your wife’s? Sixty two of one daughter’s, fifty one of another, one of a son’s life? Add them together for your family as they are now and you have, what?”

If I were in Pact I would 100% die to some Padraic related shenanigan. He's so cool and funny. I like that he's kind of an ally to Blake and Rose by complete accident just on the grounds of being incredibly inconvenient for everyone else around him.

Also he seems to like Rose Sr lots so I'm excited to learn the history there. I hope they kissed. Not in a shipping way just in a I think the concept of an incredibly dangerous Diablerist and an exiled Fairie Prince having a terrible awful fling with no redeeming qualities has lots of comedic potential

Johannes and Maggie. North End Sorcerer and the girl with the checkered scarf. And, I had to note, a small contingent of goblins. The dog walked alongside Johannes, through slush and snow, the long hair not getting wet or dirty. Johannes wore a white coat, and it was pristine.

In a better world they could have been a fun sequel to Aisha and Alec. Which I say not to imply these characters are actually similar to Aisha and Alec. Just that they could have been a fun kind of different spin on that character archetype/friendship dynamic

2.4

“Being more honest means you stock up more goodwill with the universe and any others you meet. Borderline dishonesty is useful, lying by omission is better yet, and unvarnished honesty is better still. I can’t quite interpret it, but perhaps you were joking? Sarcasm?”

Nooo don't take away his sarcasm it's one of his most charming traits

“A vestige is fragile. Defy the natural order, and the vestige suffers.” “And a damaged vestige drains energy,” I said, glancing at Rose.

👁️👁️

2.5

“You’re wrong,” she said. “The things they conjure up are there. They’re fabricated, and it’s this affinity for things that have been crafted that helps the Faerie avoid being touched so easily by fabricated things. With glamour, the Faerie might create an image of a flower. It’s an image. But as they put power into it, it gains substance. As people see it and recognize it, they feed power into it. Plant that flower in a garden, leave it be, and it will grow as any flower might. It becomes a part of the garden, and the garden adapts. It adapts to the viewers, becoming what they want and expect to see. A two way street. Given opportunity, it becomes as much of a part of things as if it was always there.”

In my friend groups discord we have a custom emoji called So In The Chronicles that is deployed when one of us wants to go on a long spiel about something related to World of Darkness or Chronicles of Darkness

"Anyway imagine that right here. I'm not gonna get into it but just know I'm thinking it. Also I really wanna try and bait my Chronicles friend into reading Pact As your partner Rose already said, they’re weak against the unrefined, against crude things. That includes attitudes."

OH BLAKE YOULL BE SO GOOD AT THIS

“Yes,” she said. “Ornias. He once placed stars in the firmament, but he now calls them down to earth. Say his name seven times.” “Perfect. Ornias,” I said. “Jesus penis fuck, Blake, no,” Rose said.

LMAO

I was just grabbing this passage because they keep bringing up Ornias later and I wanted to note what's said about him but now I also want to keep a record of Rose saying Jesus Penis Fuck

Also idk if Wildbow would even want to get into it but how exactly does religion work here. Like if belief gives power and names call forces would a genuine devout Christian be protected by invoking Jesus or God? Many such questions

“Stupid, fucking, impractical sword!”  I hit the weapon instead.  As she leaped back, she couldn’t  move it out of the doorframe.  One downward swing, and the pipe struck the blade. It broke in four different places along the length.

I think I understand the glamour stuff really well but I wish I didn't because now I'm thinking about how easy it would be to reverse engineer a magical girl into Pact world. Like you get a young practitioner raised on precure in here, give her a fairy familiar and put a focus on glamour and transformation and you could get a precure duo practitioner and familiar. They could even have a fancy glitter wand as their impliment

“-nament,” I finished. “Ornament.” No fucking way was I ever saying that name a seventh time.

Does he just have to say it once from now on or does the count eventually get set back to zero. Cause idk about Blake but I would definitely at some point make the mistake of saying it when recounting this incident to someone else later and summoning the guy

“I think I see why she might have picked you,” Ms. Lewis said. “Blake was picked, then?” Rose asked. “It’s not just him being the second heir?” “I already said too much. Take your prize, Blake.”

👁️👁️

I really need to stop using the eyes they're not saying anything really but like what can I say to this. What does this MEAN lewis

“Mom! Fine! Stop- stop and listen, don’t call it a favor, then. Call it a repayment of the favor you owe me for taking Jo to her six-in-the-damn-morning dance lessons for the last half a year.”

You know I have to say there's a certain point at which feminity** in fiction just becomes so boring. Like speaking as Femme Lesbian. Like Padraic and the other fairies are a really fun feminine in the sense that they're pretty Fairie Royalty who like to dress in pretty clothes and flirt. But they're also horrible drunks who could kill and probably wouldn't do it in a clean way. There would be blood and stuff

The DuChamps seemed fun at first, being an all girl line of practitioners, but then you give them the least messy practice, they all take fairies as familiars, and now they also do Ballet and get grossed out at Blake's Spit and Blood. Also I don't think being white and blond is a feminine thing but it's another contributing factor in making them turbo boring to me

**also obligatory I am a non binary femme lesbian using short hand gendered phrases to express abstract personal concepts of gender please don't take this as a "Tumblr user felonytaxevasion thinks feminity is composed of dressing nice and hating spit and also that men can't be fairies or do ballet" or anything like that please I will kill myself

2.6

Gonna start speed running some commentary I don't think I have much to say about the rest of this arc

I'm very sad about Lewis saying Blake is going to die soon but I'm also not convinced he won't beat the odds so I don't have much to say on that

I turned to look. A girl in a checkered scarf, sitting on the stairs by the front door. “Maggie,” Rose said.

MAGGIE I LOVE YOU MAGGIE

The little dagger had a funny blade, wavy. It looked more decorative than useful. “What is it?” I asked. “Kriss-style athame. It’s used a lot in Wicca, but that’s more because this one guy was a blade aficionado. I like it more for its roots as a sacrificial blade.” “You do much sacrificing?” Rose asked. “Nah. But I like the old stuff, the mysteries, the biblical stories about God as a deity of sacrifice and blood. It resonated with me.”

On the topic of gender this is a really fun Maggie gender moment. The next chapter talks about implements and how swords and weaponry are representative of Masculinity to others. And Maggie uses a knife, small sword, but the blade is curved simultaneously disrupting the """"phallic""""" imagery and also interrupting a knifes traditional purpose of slashing and stabbing.

But then also also she chose the knife specifically for its historical roots in violence but specifically organized violence used as a means to an end (sacrifice). Incredible but if character building I think especially in combination with how she's tied to Molly

Not much to say on Gathered Pages as of This Moment

2.7

“This is exhausting,” Rose said. “Watching every word you say, watching every word others say…”

Hey world building question if a practitioner declared "I'm about to lie now" would they be able to then lie without being forswarn for doing so. What if you lie and then follow it with "what I just said was untrue" does lying and admitting it count for anything

If you can't lie even while declaring you're about to lie then "I'm about to lie" is an automatic out because if you don't lie after then you've lied right then

If I forget something and lie on accident but to the best of my knowledge do they still get me?

I think I would either be a great practitioner or explode myself on day 1 no in between

“That’s her stuff, there?” Maggie asked. I had to raise myself up off the couch a bit to see where she was pointing. The duffel bag and pile of clothes was still on the floor just beneath the arm of the couch. I collapsed back onto the cushions. “Yep.” “Didn’t really know her that well. Saw her a few times. She didn’t show at the council meetings until the last month, and I don’t think she was game. Took her longer than it took you guys to realize you can go out and maybe not die.”

Not to be that annoying guy that makes everything about shipping but what if they had a doomed Yuri moment. I know Maggie killed her. That's a pro not a con

Speaking of

“Maggie Holt is the one who orchestrated the attack on your cousin, Molly Walker. She had command of several goblins and ordered them to strike her and leave her alive. She did it at our behest, in exchange for small favors, gifts of power and offers of knowledge.”

Highlighting to myself the "leave her alive portion" that could mean the goblins didn't listen. That Molly simply bled out after the goblins left, or that someone else did the killing blow. Interesting phrasing and I wish literally anyone asked for more details

“Doesn’t count, or we’d be lying every passing second. Blake, she wasn’t even a person to me. They talked her up, big bad diabolist who didn’t know what she was doing. I only really talked to her after I ordered the attack, saw how she wasn’t doing anything except defending herself, and I realized what I’d done. I tried to call it off, but it doesn’t work that way.”

How long was the attack??? Multiple days?? Just one night???? Many a question left unanswered about Molly Walker

Okayyy cutting off liveblogging here I have a lot of feelings about Maggie backstory but not a ton of thoughts phrased into sentences about it

Also I have like five more chapters to finish annotations for oops. I might run through three pretty quick I have a lot more to say about 4 and 5

[lvrhughes]

You Drive Me Crazy | W. Nylander

pairing: William Nylander x f!reader

word count: 0.9k

requested: yes

warnings: making out?? teasing? (I dont fully remember)

not my gif!

“Willy, please.” you begged, seeing his eyes roll at the plea. 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re my best friend and I need you?”

He scoffed slightly, you definitely didn’t need him for this.

“No you don’t.”

“But Willy, I love you, please.” he let out a sigh, mumbling a ‘fine’ under his breath. “Yes! I love you so much!” you jumped on him, making him almost fall before wrapping his arms around you to keep you secure. 

He knew it was crazy how quick he’d give in to anything for you, just to hear you say you loved him. And that was how he ended up going to a party with you later that night. 

“Baby, if your were just going to drag me around to all your other friends you did not need me.” He complained as you dragged him by the wrist to your friends at the party.

“Shh Willy, they’re your friends too.” he groaned, wishing he’d stayed home with his dogs instead. 

“Hey, Willy!” Mitch was clearly not sober anymore, his words loud and slurred, steph clung to his side. 

“Hey, Mitchy.” 

“Your girl brought you! She said she would.” his heart speeding up at the words ‘your girl’, but choosing to not indulge Mitch.

Letting Auston instead start a conversation with him, not fully listening, watching you instead. 

“I know you’re not listening, Willy.” the words snapped him out of his gaze.

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t be, you love her, I know.”

It seemed like everyone but you could see how in love William was, how crazy over you he was. He was chirped for it everyday, everyone in the locker room could see the heart eyes when he saw you, how he was so gentle with you. 

“Willy! Come dance!” you urged, running back to him, now a few drinks in. 

“You’re crazy, sweetheart.” 

“I know! Let’s dance now!” he wasn’t given a choice, you grabbing his hand and pulling him into the group of dancing people. Pushing your body against his in the crowd, turning to bury in his chest.

“This what you wanted, sweetheart?” 

A muffled ‘mhm’ came out, continuing to cling to him. Letting him sway you both as he willed, staying pressed against him. It wasn't until your name was called that you turned away from him, looking for whoever called, only to find no one. Yet as fate would have it, of course the weeknd would play, all the girls on the floor grinding up against the boys, making sure you kept William close. But what fun would it be to just stand with him. 

Running your hands down his chest while he looked around, quickly regaining his attention. Swaying your body to the song, his hands tight on your waist. 

“What’re you doing?” 

“I don’t know what you mean.” keeping the rhythm of the song in your movements, letting him feel every move against him with how close you were.

“Quit the act.” He'd never sounded so strict, but what was the drinks for if not confidence.

“What act?” 

He was quick, keeping you against him, pulling you out of the party. He was quick dragging you to the car, opening the door.

“Willy, stop!” 

“We’re going home.” 

“But the party.” you groaned, head falling on his shoulder.

“If you wanted to stay you shouldn’t have acted like that.”

“What are you? My father? Willy, I didn't do anything wrong.” 

“You drive me fucking crazy!” he was yelling, making you step back. He could see the tears the filled your eyes, the guilt following him immediately. “Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry.” 

He was quick pulling you into his arms, securing you in them. “Let’s go home, hmm?”

“No,” you mumbled.

“What do you mean no?” 

“You said I drive you crazy, I don't want to.” 

"Sweetheart, I am so in love with you, it drives me crazy.”

His words froze you for a second, letting them sink in.

“You’re in love with me?”

“Yes, baby.” he confirmed.

When you froze again, fear filled him. What if he had ruined the friendship? What if you never spoke to him again?

“I’m sor-” he was quickly cut off by a kiss, melting his lips against yours. It was everything he’d ever imagined, and you could easily say the same. 

Pulling away for air, you were first to speak.

“I’m sorry, well I’m not but, you get it. I’m in love with you too.” he grinned at the words, pushing his lips against yours again, snaking his arms around your waist as your tangled through his hair. This time he was first to speak.

“Let’s go home now, yeah?” 

You nodded, leaning up for another kiss, him complying quickly. 

“We should’ve done this sooner.” you mumbled against his lips, feeling a smile grow on his. 

“If only you had told me sooner.” he grinned, making you laugh and push him away.

“This is not only on me, Mr.Nylander.” 

He laughed, picking you up and placing you in the passenger's seat, buckling your seatbelt like always. He was quick, jogging over to the drivers side, getting in and starting the car. It was a short ride home, in comfortable silence. When arriving, he motioned for you to stay, running over to open your door. Unbuckling your seatbelt and picking you up bridal style, making you laugh.

“Willy, what’re you doing?”

“Treating you like you deserve, I’ve wanted to do this for years.”

“I’ve wanted this for years too.”