#i could probably deep dive on my own blogs or friends blogs to find them again

[phoenixwright-aceattorney]

Thank you for tagging as the fanon names too, they will always be sebastian and uncle ray in my heart

No problem!

I actually also tag the aai2 characters by their Japanese names because I actually watched a playthrough when the game was very new because I watched roughly translated versions when I was in high school and never played the popular fan translations.

My fiance has been playing the official release on Switch though, so maybe I'll go play it again sometime since it's actually been about a decade since I've interacted with it oops :)

[inchidentally]

I love love love your landoscar (and carlando and dando) deep dives and analysis and in one of them you mentioned how Carlos acts very differently with Charles than he does with Lando and that charlos is its own different topic so I was wondering about your thoughts on their dynamic👀 Would love to read them but no pressure of course!

(these asks are literally from last year and I am soso soooo sorry for taking so long <3<3)

god anon I love all three too even if the multishipping thing is wayyy too uncommon for me to do it out here publicly on my blog anymore!

truly - and this is fully rpf projecting switched off - the Charles/Carlos and Carlos/Lando dynamics are so different and it was so sweet during the Melbourne 2024 celebrations watching Carlos switching between the two aslfhsalfh. bc Carlos literally helped raise Lando from the kid Lando's closest friends and even Zak described as a loner and intensely shy, to someone who could borrow quite a lot from Carlos' persona for himself and even learned a social hobby in golf to integrate him more with other drivers. it's not as 'sweet' per se but even the fact that Lando a while ago was like 'oh I only date Spanish girls' during that golf stream bc Carlos literally helped Lando meet girls (this was before Luisa). straight up he functioned as Lando's F1 and PR social lifeline in a way where Lando was still pretty clingy even up to like late 2022? bc Daniel was another great big alpha personality to do a lot of the heavy lifting like Carlos did but Lando and Daniel are more of a friendship of equals.

but for Carlos, Lando's mostly stayed in that little brother position - even moreso I'd say as Carlos approaches 30 bc his lifestyle now is way more grown-up than Lando's and his approach to his career and racing is vaaaastly different to Lando's. and tbh it's one of many reasons I was glad they didn't stay teammates bc regardless of what fans wanted and PR pushed, that would either not have ended well or it would have had truly excruciating moments (similar to that 'breakup' moment in 2022). I think ultimately they'd always have ended up ok but it's good to not have had to wait and find out how.

I genuinely think it'll only be in retrospect that people learn to appreciate how impressive and cohesive Carlos and Charles' partnership has been bc I only ever see a few people say this. and again, ignoring the whole PR bromance aspect of it, this is in how they have weathered the absolute WORST of everything that could be thrown at a pairing and always come out unified. their fanbases have been at bloody war since day one, the Tifosi have been embroiled in civil war, their own families use multiple platforms to stir up enmity, Ferrari's Borgia-esque culture has directly and indirectly worked to disrupt communication and good will between the two garages. team orders has been Russian roulette every race. the literal racing gods seem to roll the dice when it comes to which of them will be favored and who will be left burning with anger. and even when both suffer equally due to the many forces outside their control, guaranteed everyone but themselves will be trying to somehow pin blame on the other.

a tiny fraction of this amount of drama has been enough to destroy partnerships plenty of times in racing history and even throughout their time as teammates.

AND YET !! every hasty word or outburst is smoothed over within hours or even minutes!

bc the common aortic valve they've mutually decided to share between them has stayed strong, vital and healthy. I cannot wait for their biographies or a docu series bc the amount of obvious communication going on between them fully behind the scenes from absolutely everyone is the only reason they haven't both been locked in a br0cedes degree battle royale. absolutely no one but themselves has wanted them to be harmonious.

and when the most shocking headline probably for a decade happened, they decided the very day after being told (in advance of the public what would turn out to be just a few days) to drive together to Maranello and sign autographs and have photos taken of them in Carlos' car. the rest of us only found out later when the rumors were confirmed that this was a hugely symbolic display of solidarity.

even their intense and fun physicality, when you take the gay chicken aspect of it away, remains in the form of physically finding warmth and steadiness in each other as the only two people who can relate in full detail to the other. they're both your typical super physical European guys with other guys, but even when they're not horsing around there is a comfort and ease in being able to lean close or clap a hand on a shoulder and share closed-eyes embraces.

and that's why Melbourne was a Charles and Carlos affair with little Lando along for it getting his hugs and paternal kisses. when Carlos and Lando looked at each other it was right back to that chummy mischief sparkle in the eye thing they've always had. Lando still inhabits the rosy world of possibility and cresting the height of his career and a vastly different new teammate who is playing a part in that. but when Charles ran over for a private celebration before Carlos had even gotten out of his car - and when they sat together in the cool down room like two bone-weary parents watching TV while Lando buzzed about - and would turn to each other on the podium and lock eyes, it's bc they both get it in exactly the same way. Carlos faces uncertainty but opportunity, Charles faces uncertainty but certain difficulty. all of which was paralleled in Monaco for Charles' win. elation is mixed with grim satisfaction as much as joy.

the relief, the exhaustion, the bitterness of years without the WDC and the long stretches between wins in the back of the throat mixing with the champagne, even their tears of joy this season mixing with the fact that both of them have had tears in their eyes when asked about the end of their partnership - even down to the parallel in each if their wins this year of having a McLaren rugrat scurrying around the edge of drama neither of their pretty young heads has ever experienced even by proximity - both boys already assured by contract and by their performance of steadiness for years to come. the gold of their feelings on podiums hasn't tarnished or worn yet.

as always, the reality of these guys' actual friendships is rarely known until well after retirement. but the fact that Carlos and Charles held something so strong between them that made them reject the much easier option of simply hating each other or just neutrally existing in separate spheres (like so many other partnerships have done) means that mutual respect or mutual agreement or sympathetic personalities - or all three - was their choice, even if it's made their own careers and lives far more complicated and difficult.

[unorcadox]

UNORCADOX

howdy, i'm mabel! it's the 3 year anniversary of unorcadox today, so i've prepared a decent bit of surprises. (and yes that means i started this blog in 2020, which is terrifying to think about.) i'll go into those new things under the cut, but first... check out the carrd linked in the header text of this post :3c

sooo soo so so so where on earth do i begin. uhh honestly let me just break down the new stuff first since i can talk about that more easily.

THE NEW LOOK! ok so like truth be told, i've been a faceless blog on purpose up until now. it wasn't until this summer where i actually liked how i looked or had any solid sense of my own aesthetic or what i wanted to look like. it also made it easier to protect against dysphoria and transphobes in the same breath, as no one could ever comment on any aspect of my appearance, or even the mere suggestion i even had one to begin with! but that all changes now, i'm going to actually have a presence on this blog, as it is MY blog and tbh i'm tired of being so faceless on here. that's why i've been doing more asks and non-edit posts recently, and those will increase in frequency. check out the carrd for more info, my sona's ref, and art credits for assets on here <3

mondays -> MUSIC MONDAYS! so it might come as a shock i'm actually a musician in addition to making stuff on here! i've promoted my music a couple of times by now, but nothing all that substantial. sooo, considering that, i'm going to be replacing monday oc posts with a music post! just a link to a song on my bandcamp and a little description about it. i don't really care if these perform particularly well, but i want to give people a chance to actually hear it without having to deep dive through my entire internet history to get it. i also will be releasing more soon-- whether via compilations of older work or new stuff altogether :3

MORE IN THE FUTURE! i have a couple other ideas up my sleeve, we'll see how they pan out but i wanna keep trying new possibilities on here. i think at this point i've proven my consistency, and it's about time i let myself have a little fun and explore my options. these will be announced individually but probably added here over time as this is the new pinned post lol.

----- ----- -----

ok so anyways, i do wanna have the mandatory sappy segment because of course i do. i want to say a couple of things but i'll split them into bullet points again bc yeah i do that.

this year has been really good for me and the blog, in most ways it's been the straight up best year of my life uncontested. not everything has gone perfectly, i had other plans that fell through, but hey that's just how life goes huh. at one point, i was easily projected to hit 20k by the end of the year, and now i'll be happy if i hit 17k lol. tumblr has not been that kind to my blog's growth this year and it's making me consider other options in the future, but everything's so scary rn i don't wanna commit to anything.

as for the blog itself, i've kinda been in a weird spot with it for a while. i've been scraping by on here intermittently for the entire year on and off, and i might have some ways to help keep me on top of the ball during the next year, but i also do wonder how long i can really keep doing this, and how long people will still like weirdcore and my work in particular. i've been considering branching out in terms of my presentation, or format, or style, but i feel incredibly weird about doing so.

in my personal life, this is the year i finally started transitioning and seeking treatment for my most pressing issues. i've finally started dating the love of my life, my best friend of 10 years, and despite some interpersonal turmoil all around me, i think i'm finally finding safe ground and knowing what i wanna do next. i don't really talk about it on here because i'm very private about it, but i've been kinda slowly becoming like a Real Adult Person this year. i didn't really have much of a chance to prior and i still am struggling a lot, but hey i know what i want now!

it's really silly to say but this blog still means a lot to me! it's seen me through the craziest times in my entire life, it's brought me so much perspective and knowledge and opportunities i wouldn't've had otherwise. i wake up every day and go on here and never stop feeling starstruck that people chose to follow me. i know tumblr success means nothing but to me it's the only community i've ever actually belonged to, so thank you all.

ok so like i really just don't have much else to say anymore, so i think i'll end it there! thank you all again, i can't wait for year 4 as it's going to definitely be a crazy one lol. let's hope it's a good one too!

[helena-thessa]

Do you have any fanfic reccs?

hey anon (:

I'm going to assume you're asking for sasusaku fanfics but let me know if I've guessed wrong!

I love the opportunity to hype up my favorites, but I don't usually read in fandoms that I write in, and I never read stories with pairings that I'm actively writing in (including semi-outlining stories or daydreaming about), so I probably won't be much help here. That said, I did read through a little bit of sasusaku before writing my own take on the Blank Period.

I highly recommend the author psallocappella. Their prose is more like private lines of poetry and artistic explorations, in that I don't actually know what's going on or precisely what they're trying to say a good amount of time, but the mood, dynamics, and maturity are striking in a way that I've never read from anyone else. If you're ready to dive right into a deep, complicated and more complete story, the Equilibrium series is where to start. They also posted a variety of short stories and prompt responses in 2021-22 that are so good, I wish each of them could be a full-length story.

Synergy by bttrmllw is the only full-length story I read that I can remember to recommend. It has to be popular in the fandom already, I assume!? Besides having an exciting, action-packed storyline, wonderfully poetic yet approachable prose, and wickedly fun chemistry and romance between Sasuke and Sakura, they helped me mature (and find joy/fulfillment in) my own understanding of Sakura and Sasuke's complex characterizations. Their Sakura is fierce, stubborn and strong, but silly, genuine and adorable, but also clever and willy and strategic. It's amazing. She's all the things. And, not sure how to explain it best, but their Sasuke is arrogant and fiery, but wildly capable, strong, and sensitive too. It made me finally fully appreciate him as a character and consider him a worthy partner to Sakura and friend to Naruto. (Also, if you're a sucker for Itachi like I am, it serves.)

If you meant rivamika or another fandom though, please let me know. I don't want to list my amazing friends in the rivamika community who write without making sure I take time not to forget anyone. I've also used the tag below consistently in the past if you want to search my blog.

Happy reading🖤🖤

[dogwittaablog]

i think she probably had met him once cause supposedly her dad is an OHL coach, but she’s defiantly boosting it for clout. like i’ve met a ton of hockey players and they’re normal guys but would never describe them as “nice and respectful” as many times as she does

*IM GOING TO BE STANDING ON BUSINESS WITH THIS POST*

So I never even knew she existed till that submission I got, and weirdly all of a sudden I kept getting a bunch of messages all at the same time in this same text/grammar/punctuation format LMAO… which concludes to me she defs sent them in.

I tragically did a deep dive into her blog before I formed opinions and speculations, just to see if anything wasn’t actually bs. Though the more I read the more sus I got about a bunch of stuff.

She allegedly claims she’s known or was around Nolan and her family when she was young, because their dads golfed together (I literally do not think his dads much of a golfer either lmaooo) + her dad and his uncle were coaches together… Anytime a question is brought up about Nolan she constantly brushes it off cause she wants to respect his privacy… listen if I genuinely know people personally or have the respect for them as she claims, I wouldn’t even be entertaining one word let alone let it be known that I even know them… on a blog… 😭💀

Bro I fr don’t even want to get into the her having two kids and her having a child allegedly at 16, not that it’s even a issue, cause not my problem, but their is something sus about that whole ass thing too. She also seems to constantly wanting to lie or hide about her age, or not disclose it… which I find weird, cause if you do the math even by her kids alleged ages you’d know she’s at least early 20’s but claim she’s in her mid 20’s, idek. It’s probably some literal teen running it. Respectfully if I had 2 kids I wouldn’t be up on some Tumblr blog posting what she posts??? Something about the way she writes in terms of punctuation comes off juvenile. Nothing radiates baby mama of 2… oops. Also the sus life story idek man.

(One of her post regarding nolpats)

So as I said she’s someone who claims to know nolan on a not super close but a still personal level lol. Yet says he doesn’t have any reputation… be for real with me 💀💀💀 “cause no one is really that aware of him”. You could pay me with a cheese burger to personally fly out to Winnipeg to ask people around and I bet you they’d know who the kid is also Winnipeg isnt huge and the communities are small, everyone mutually knows each other especially when you’re born and raised there. Nothing adds up to her even knowing him.

Also claiming she’s on his private account, I’m sure babe… that account is strictly for family and friends he’s known closely for years. Not some random that allegedly got pregnant at 16 and then left Winnipeg for 4+ years (as she’s said) and never was in contact with him for years LMAOOOO. Also to publicly claim you’re on it too, interesting.

Long story short I’m sorry home girl @ urhockeymilf you defs are making up half to all of or pre much everything you’ve claimed… I know you send yourself submissions too on your own blog… so I cannot wait for your submissions in my inbox after you potentially see this.

I’ll also add I do run this blog myself but I won’t be stupid enough to start claiming I PERSONALLY know anyone. I share info I gather from others, and express they’re just rumours and speculations, and when making points on why I think something seems true I’ll always try to provide proof and a logical answer to why, rather then just talking out my ass or making shit up lmao.

[sparkedblaze]

Luke as a villain. Or JD. Writer’s choice

I'm so sorry this kind of sucks. This is attempt *checks watch* four at posting this.

T/W uh… violence, mentions of unaliving self, mention of bombs and trying to unalive others,

Ohohohoho both sides of my ‘could I become them?’ coin

How am I supposed to pick-

JD is a villain that I could never be.

And ik that’s probably not what you’re asking about, but that’s how I start my deep dives, so bear with me.

He was traumatized, literally watched his mom end her own life and then was forced to pay rent. He’s constantly on the move and has little to no social skills.

I mean my man finds solace in a 7/11 which should tell you how bad his situation is.

JD is just a dynamic character.

I love him (not as a person).

He’s manipulative. And he’s good at it. Homie had Veronica eating out the palm of his hand. He’s the ultimate narcissist. HE TALKED HER INTO STAYING WITH HIM AFTER HE UNALIVED THREE PEOPLE ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

He let his trauma overtake him and drive him to planting bombs at a pep rally.

As someone who listens to Heathers on the reg, it’s quite the accomplishment to form that pit in my stomach every time I hear

“Sorry for coming in through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know.”

IT NEVER GOES AWAY AND IT JUST MAKES ME SCREAM. JD IS SUCH A TERI LE PERSON BUT HES SO WELL WRITTEN I JUST- AHHHHHHHH

Also bc my blog is 99% newsies (and therefore is followed by many fansies) I have to include this clip of the Heathers workshop 😌You’re welcome.

NOW TIME FOR LUKE CASTELLAN BC IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA PICK BETWEEN THEM YOU WERE VERY WRONG

LUKE IS A VILLAIN THAT I VERY MUCH COULD HAVE BECOME. LIKELY WOULD HAVE BECOME IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I held a lot of bitterness and anger toward my parents for a long time

But that’s neither here nor there

Luke is one of very few villains that I love a redemption arc for.

Holding a grudge is one thing. Feeling abandoned by his dad and terrified of his mom? Can you see why he may be a little upset?? But using said feelings to endanger all of the people he cares about just for revenge?

And then a deity starts whispering to him about taking revenge and at first he’s like ‘eehhhhhhh…..’ but the temptation is too great and he’s eventually POSSESSED BY SAID DEITY.

But in the end he sacrifices himself?!?! UGH SO GOOD

Like this is a villain that I can follow the train of thought. The tracks are clear. One stop after another. Abandoned, forgotten, LOSING HIS BEST FRIEND SISTER AND THEN BEING TOLD TO POISON WHAT’S LEFT OF HER.

AND HIM BEING TOLD ABOUT ANNABETH DENYING WHAT HE SEES AS THE ONLY THING TO DO AFTER ALL OF THIS.

KRONOS WHISPERING THINGS LIKE: AFTER EVERYTHING THEY WENT THROUGH. AFTER THEY PROMISED TO NEVER ABANDONED EACH OTHER. HOW COULD SHE?!?

AND LUKE BEING CONFUSED AND POSSESSED BY THE SPIRIT OF KRONOS AND JUST HOW COULD SHE?!

THIS BOY IS SEVEN KINDS OF FUCKED UP.

PLEASE GET HIM THERAPY.

ALSO FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW THERE'S A MUSICAL AND THIS IS LUKE'S BIG REVEAL AND IT'S SO GOOD

[heavenly-kazee]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you !!

Ohh hello there dear friend~ Sure! I have been feeling bored by the way and things have gotten me in a tough spot this month which is pretty sucks.

I'm not quite confident to say this out loud when it comes to communicating by speaking but I am comfortable by writing my thoughts since I'm able to find the appropriate words. Now then, the first thing that made me happy would usually be anime. Don't get me wrong, not all anime have to be action-oriented, I just happen to be very picky when it comes to genres so I don't really talk about the most trending on social media. The anime that makes me feel happy is mostly music and moral-based, similar to Bang Dream and RKDD. Tbh, RKDD was the one that made me deep dive into the Sherlockian world, it's also my first anime Sherlock experience so I am currently in many fandoms other than RKDD (I am most active in Sherlock & Co btw!)

The second one is obviously music. Like I mentioned about Bang Dream, I never once said this in all of my posts especially my bio blog so take this as a special post about my personal hobby. As a child, I dreamed of being a singer. My first exposure to music was one of those vocaloid songs where voicebank robots sing countless songs that were already made by their composers. Such as Wowaka (yes, I understand he had passed so I wanted to respect both his death and his music creation). I watched the "Deep Sea Girl" music video of Hatsune Miku singing underwater, I believe it's a Diva videogame that looks pretty HD but without the gaming on-screen. I was 8 years old when I found out about the existence of vocaloid, I became a super fan immediately and I couldn't stop singing since then. I even had another singer that I looked up to (it was mafumafu lol)

The third is quite complicated, I do love writing and drawing in general but I have a huge preference towards writing perhaps. I never started writing stories at all when I was a kid, majority of my early writing days were usually making role-plays in books, I have seen my cousin's exercise book being filled with so many words through the end except she doesn't know how to end the story lmao- I was intrigued, of course, I started making my own roleplay book when I was in 6th to 7th grade. I do tend to draw sometimes, drawing is just my hobby but I did not expect my writing just end in the hobby category but became my so-called "career" recently, I haven't stopped writing for years.

The fourth is pretty complicated as well but not too complicated as preferences. I genuinely loved animals, even if they were small or big. But due to my kid's self who's afraid of rabies.... Yeah, I personally wouldn't like dogs or big animals getting rabies so I opted for small feline creatures. They are dazzling and beautiful when they're the big animals of the kingdom, it's just not cup of my tea when it comes to their licking part. Cats are okay since I happened to have one. He was such a big sleepy cat that slept 24/7 lol- I wouldn't mind having bird pets as well, maybe an owl would do or the dove. I actually did rescue a small bird before but only to get eaten by the cat because my "mother" was careless and thought the bird could fly itself even though the wings were damaged. Well thank you smartie head

The last thing that made me happy was probably my brothers. I'm not quite sure why but maybe it's due to how I was raised by them. Considering both of my parents never seemed to care about me emotionally and mentally, they were only there when I was sick, needed something and wanted anything not long-lasting gifts. But when it comes to my brothers, they send me out of the house and make memories with me mostly compared to my parents. My dad did try to send me out of the house but that was in vain because he tried to make me shopping excessively so I am in the most unfortunate way currently. My brothers taught me how to be myself and put my happiness first, that could be the reason why I am too empathetic and compassionate to anyone because I don't want them to experience the same loneliness. I looked up to them a lot of times, they made me feel so many emotions at once and it's the first time I feel so loved.

I am sorry for the last paragraph, it's quite a personal topic for me to talk about even though it has to be said. I do love my family but I can't be safe to say when both of my parents just won't try to spend time with me emotionally. Maybe the correct word for me is probably just "investment", I know so well what it feels like to be their investment, even though I never like money in the first place. They forced me into things I wouldn't like so as a natural child would do, I rebelled.

I apologize if this post feels longer, sometimes I just want to elaborate on why they make me happy for a reason and stating facts just won't do the trick. Call me a detailed person, but I happen to love explaining over single short paragraphs.

[angryschnauzer]

Old Friends New Memories

Summary: A chance meeting means you run into a very old friend and reconnect, but with you both having considerable emotional baggage, can you re-ignite what you had left burning all those years ago. A last minute Christmas Eve fic based on this post

Fandom: Henry Cavill, Hellraiser Hellworld

Pairing: Mike (Hellraiser) x Female Reader

Word count: 2565

Warnings: Angst, NSFW, 18+, Happy Ending. Talk of past abuse, gaslighting, male domestic violence survivor, gaslighting, drugs, drug addiction, rehab and therapy, impotence, therapy, mild references to assault, rebuilding relationships, mild sexual acts, nudity, oral sex (female recieving)

A/N: This is very much a ‘fix it’ fic to bring Mike’s character on from Hellraiser events, explaining that what happened in the movie was in fact a very bad drug fuelled trip. And somehow i am also writing angst again. But it has a happy ending. 

I do not operate a tag list but if you follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications you’ll get an alert every time i post something new, plus be able to find all my past works. Everything can also be found on my AO3

Henry Cavill Masterlist

You had  run into the local school to collect your nephew up from soccer practice as your Sister was stuck at work. He came out of practice super excited by the new coach ‘Michael’, chatting all the way back home about how awesome he was. It was only when you were dropping your nephew off did he realise he’d left his backpack there. You offered to drive back and grab it as your sister had arrived home with takeout for their dinner.

The soccer pitch was empty when you got there but the gate still unlocked, so you started to search the bleachers for the bag before someone called out;

"Ma'am? Can i help you?"

Not looking up you answered;

"My nephew left his backpack…"

You stood and turned, the air being sucked from your lungs as a sudden blast from the past stood in front of you;

"Mikey…"

He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck;

"Yeah, its been a while…"

"Yeah…"

"The last time i saw you..." he trailed off

"Yup. Same bleachers, only then we were under them…"

He visibly blushed as the memory of that night came back;

"I should really take you out to dinner... to apologise…"

Laughing you nodded;

"That'd be nice. Though you'll let me finish before you do this time, yeah?"

Mikey grinned;

"I can assure you the 19 year old Mikey S i was is a million miles away from 30 year old Michael Syverson i am now"

“I’m glad to hear that”

“So, tomorrow night?”

“Sounds good”

You both faltered for a moment, bodies jerking slightly before you laughed and hugged. Enveloped in his arms you were surprised by a number of things; how familiar it seemed and yet how different. Mikey had always given the best hugs, probably due to how freaking long his arms were, but before it was like getting a hug from a barely padded fence post. Now however he was solid and huge. Your arms no longer fitted around his torso, there was a deep valley in the centre of his chest that you could rest your head in, he had filled out and you felt completely surrounded by his presence. 

Reluctantly you eventually pulled apart, Mikey pulling his phone from his pocket;

“So, can i get your number?”

-

Mikey had invited you out for dinner the following night, Christmas Eve, and had picked you up at 7pm. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, perhaps a dive bar or a greasy diner, but he’d pulled his Toyota into the parking lot of a small family run Italian restaurant, one you’d been meaning to try but had never gotten around to. It turned out the meal had been fantastic, the dishes you’d picked laced with garlic and lemon, flavours hitting your taste buds like tiny fireworks. You’d chatted about old times, he’d been attentive and asked what you’d been up to since the end of high school which you happily filled him in on; college and onto animal care, working with kennels and pet parlours before last year you’d moved back to town to open your own pet salon. 

When Mikey wasn’t asking you questions you found yourself getting distracted as you couldn’t help but to simply stare at him. He’d blossomed into a truly handsome man, gone was the boisterous teenager, instead what you found was a quiet and contemplative adult who considered his words. The same crooked smile was there, as was the expressive eyebrows, but there was something dulling the spark, you didn’t want to pry, but you hoped whatever it was was only temporary.

But throughout the whole meal the atmosphere was relaxed and friendly, a comfortable aura between the two of you. When the check came you split it, there was no discussion or argument, and the drive back to your place was fun as you sang along to the radio playing Christmas songs. As he pulled onto your driveway you smiled and turned to him;

“Would you like to come in for a coffee?”

“A co…coffee?”

You took a deep breath;

“Whatever happens happens, i’m as nervous as you are, but i’d also really like to continue the evening with you. Plus you can meet Pandora and Doof”

“Pandora and Doof?”

“My cat and dog”

Laughing Mikey turned the key and killed the engine;

“Yes, i definitely want to meet Pandora and Doof”

Once you stepped in the door Pandora did what she did best, a quiet ‘miaow’ from the darkness, just her eyes visible in the low light;

“Oh you have a void!” Mikey laughed softly, before patting his thigh and your big black cat strolled from the living room into the hallway. Before you could say anything else a low growl came from the kitchen, and you turned and called out;

“Doof, its ok. He’s a friend”

You turned and grabbed a dog biscuit from the jar on top of the hallway shelves and handed it to Mikey;

“Give him a moment, he’s protective of me around men”

You slipped into the kitchen and turned the light on, and Mikey could hear you talking to your dog;

“Doof, you be nice to Mikey, he’s a good friend. Good. Nice person. All good. OK?”

“Woof”

A moment later you appeared in the doorway, holding the black labrador’s collar as you slowly walked along the hallway to where Mikey was still standing, before he crouched down and patted his leg;

“S’ok boy, i’m good”

Doof started to wag his tail as he approached, before he sat in front of Mikey and let out a quiet ‘woof’, to which Mikey handed him the dog biscuit;

“Can i pat your head Doof?”

“Rowwwwwww”

You watched as they bonded a little, before Doof sat on his foot and you smiled;

“Hey, i need to let Doof run around in the garden and do his business, did you want to have hot cocoa on the back porch?”

“Yeah sure, that’d be nice”

Ten minutes later you were both sat on chairs, watching as Doof did zoomies in the grass before randomly stopping to investigate scents. Sipping on the minty hot cocoa Mikey finally spoke;

“I got a question… well, a coupla’ questions…”

“Sure”

“You said we were both nervous. What are you nervous about, and how could you tell i was nervous?”

You took a deep breath;

“Full honesty, right? We’ve known each other too long for any lies or hiding things, right?”

“Right”

“What i’m nervous about is getting my heart broken again. And i don’t just mean that when i left for college and we parted ways, that hurt… god that hurt like hell, but i’ve had my heart broken time and time again since then. I’m nervous you haven’t changed, even though it seems like you have. I would rather reignite an old friendship than have a night together for the sake of old lovers” you paused; “Was that too honest?”

Mikey shook his head, staring down at his mug;

“No, its refreshing to hear…”

“And i can tell you’re nervous, you have the same tick you had when we were in grade school, you rub your thumb of your right hand on the back of your left hand. So…”

Mikey was silent, looking out into the darkness of the fields behind your property;

“I’m nervous… because i’m scared to try dating again”

“With me?”

“In general”

“What happened Mikey?”

He turned to look at you properly;

“Can you call me Mike?”

“Of course”

He took a deep breath;

“I’m divorced”

“Oh, i didn’t even know you’d married”

“It left me with some issues. Financial. Emotional. Physical and mental” he let out a low single laugh; “This is the first date i’ve been on in 5 years…”

“No way…”

“I just found it easier to not date. Too much to try and hide” he looked at you; “But with you… i feel i can be open and you won’t judge me”

“Of course i won’t” Just then Doof padded softly onto the porch, climbing onto your lap before settling his large body over your legs and his chin on the arm rest.

“She fucked me up. We met when i was 20, i was big into the party scene, bouncing from dead end job to dead end job, literally just partying away each weeks wage on drink and drugs. We ended up in Atlantic City and when we sobered up i found out we’d gotten married. After that she changed. I was young, she was older. The gaslighting started at that point, now i can see it for what it was, but then i thought it was simply the affect of the drugs. And when we were both high she got addicted to…” he trailed off, leaning back and pulling his shirt up. You could see the silvery scars across his torso; cigarette burns. 

You sucked in a sharp breath, but stayed quiet, giving Mike the time he needed;

“The final straw was when she got her hands on a cocktail of drugs. I have no idea what was in it, LSD, Ketamine, Coke, jesus christ it was awful. She thought she’d killed me, so instead of calling the cops she buried me in a wooden box. I woke up24 hours later and had to claw myself out. Thankfully she was lazy, or high, and hadn’t covered the box with dirt. The EMT’s said that was what probably saved my life so i didn’t suffocate”

You stayed silent, tears welling and threatening to spill, before Doof quietly moved and got off your lap, crossing the distance between you and Mike and climbed onto his lap, settling his snout on his shoulder against his neck. There was a moment of quiet and calm as Mike closed his eyes and rubbed your dog’s back;

“Thanks Buddy” he cleared his throat; “So anyway… at that point i stepped away. My time in hospital helped me start to get clean. Through the rehab i found some free legal aid and after i managed to get a job the next step was a divorce. I moved back home and tried to get my life restarted. My Mom helped me go to community college, i flunked most of high school so i managed to get my diploma and then found i really enjoyed sports studies. That led to a job coaching soccer, to the point i now have a job at the high school. Assistant coach and i run private sports lessons like your nephew attends”

“Mike, i don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, but i’m glad you have found a path to carve out a way for yourself”

“Yeah, but it’s lonely. Anyone with any sense left town and got away to college, few ever returned. Those without any sense are now in jail or dead”

“And dating hasn’t…”

“That’s the emotional and mental part. Its hard to hold down a relationship when you can’t… ya’know… stay hard…”

You watched as he rubbed Doof’s ears, giving him time as you stayed silent.

“And yeah i went to therapy, i went to a doctor. My girlfriend at the time was understanding. But she was also desperate to be a Mom, and it wasn’t something i could do. The doctors confirm there’s nothing wrong with me physically, fuck, i can get hard by myself and wack one out, but the moment… well therapy helped but it didn’t help”

You both sat there in silence, before you finally cleared your throat;

“Stay the night”

Mike’s eyes snapped up to you;

“You heard what i just said, right?”

“Yes. And i’m not saying ‘fuck me’, i’m not saying ‘i can cure you with my magic pussy’. Just stay the night. I’ve missed you, more than you can imagine. Going off to college seemed like the greatest idea, but my dating life has been a disaster”

“It can’t be worse than mine…”

You smiled softly;

“This isn’t about who’s was worse, but there’s a reason why Doof doesn’t trust men in my house. I had to make a choice, and I chose Doof and moved back home. My wounds didn’t leave scars, but that doesn’t mean i don’t remember them. I started afresh”

Mike let out a slow breath;

“Sure, i’d love to stay” he looked out to the back yard and smiled; “Plus its started to snow. My Toyota will never get home in this”

Standing you held out your hand as you patted Doof’s behind;

“C’mon Doof, bedtime” the dog lazily stretched and slid off Mike’s lap, before you took Mike’s hand and pulled him up; “Bedtime for you too”

“Why do you call him Doof?”

At that moment the dog turned to look back just as he got to the screen door, walking straight into it;

“Because he’s a giant doofus”

-

As the daylight streamed into the room you opened one eye and was greeted by a pair of dark eyes and a wet nose;

“Hey Doof”

“Woof”

“Okay, lets let you out to go potty”

A groan sounded behind you;

“Nooooo”

Laughing you turned, and couldn’t help but to take in how gorgeous Mike was as he lay next to you, his hair messy and his stubble longer, but those bright blue eyes as welcoming as ever;

“Ok we need to teach Doof to unlock doors so he can take himself out for potty”

You laughed and playfully patted Mike’s side;

“Don’t worry, you need to get up too… we both have a garlic issue. There’s a spare toothbrush in the cabinet”

-

As you watched Doof scoot around in the snow you waited for the coffee machine to warm up, slowly letting the dark liquid drip through. A thick pair of arms circled your waist and a bristly kiss was pressed to your cheek;

“Has he peed yet?”

“Not yet. I’ll hook the screen door open and unlock the doggy door, he can let himself back in”

“Good”

Turning in Mike’s arms you pressed a soft kiss to his lips which he repeated seconds later, then again, before eventually you both deepened your connection as lips parted and his tongue danced delicately over your own. When the need for oxygen finally took over and you parted, he hooked his finger into the vneck of your tshirt, not so subtly peering in;

“C’mon, i may not be able to do stuff, but i can do other stuff, and i wanna see how those titties have grown”

“Oh…”

“And ya’know, taste that pussy”

As the pair of you made your way back to your bedroom you grinned;

“Oh that’s a thing now? I recall you not wanting to do that last time…”

“Yeah, i was the Doofus then”

On cue Mike turned and walked straight into the doorframe, thankfully not hard but enough to make him bounce off of it;

“Yeah, completely different now” you teased

With a grin he grabbed you and walked you backwards to the bed, pulling your t-shirt off and grinning when he saw your breasts;

“Perfect, excellent shape. 10 out of 10”

He slowly got to his knees as he pulled your panties down, never breaking eye contact before he pushed you back and set you softly on the bed;

“Now, let me give you a Christmas present”

[husbandograveyard]

What's up

Hiya all, a little update before I dive into creating a queue again of some sorts, and start planning and posting original stuff. So... I have been incredibly absent, I am fully aware of that, and I have had some time to reflect on the reasons why, in order to maybe be better about writing again.

warning, word vomit incoming, it's just a long text, but it does serve as a decent explanation for my silence and what y'all can expect. I'll put a TL;DR at the bottom.

When this blog started, almost 3 years ago, it was peak pandemic time in my country. I was lonely, bored, and I had just binged all 850+ episodes of One Piece in one go, and needed an outlet. I stumbled up on Tumblr in my fic searching progress and fell deep into the reader insert hole. I used to write fanfic in Dutch, but never got to writing and publishing in English and it seemed like a perfect time to do so, and NakuNakuNoMi the blog was born.

I could write insane amounts within a short amount of time, because I was still studying, and doing so from home allowed me enough time to write up to 3, sometimes even four or five pieces a day and publish them. The next year was similar: still studying, half-distance learning, and bored out of my mind at home.

Last year I got a job as a teacher and I moved out. Having my own space and a roommate that's a friend, as well as not having to deal with my family, allowed me to pick up a lot of my lost hobbies again. I am drawing (although I am not particularly good at it, crocheting, I got a keyboard very recently, most of my writing time is spent writing DnD things, I am reading and gaming a lot more...) I spend a lot of time at my hobbies, and I don't feel the need to be behind my laptop any more every evening.

On top of that, I know I am *only* a high school teacher, but the job does demand a lot from me, time-wise and emotionally, because I also just really want to do the best job I can. Which means that I do spend a lot of time on my laptop just working, leaving very little time for writing.

I was getting a little burnt-out on writing too, putting the bar way too high for myself and sometimes writing things I did not enjoy just because it would give me some more likes and reblogs. That, in combination for not really getting a lot of feedback even for requested things etc, made it very hard to keep motivated, while my other hobbies seemed that much more rewarding.

But I do miss writing, even though I cannot find a lot of time for it anymore. And I miss Tumblr, and the connections I made in these years, even though a lot of them are gone now, mainly due to my own hiatus stacking and anxiety about reaching out, feeling like I am annoying people by messaging them.

So I feel like I will be writing some more. I have one more week off, and I think I want to tackle some of my WIPS.

My system will stay the same: I do no more requests, but people are free to send in suggestions that I may or may not get to. I will not promise anything. Events will work with requests still, but I am not gonna do any events for a while still. The only one I foresee until september or so is an anniversary quickfire event. Other than that I want to finish my summer event next summer, and finish up some other things, finally post some of the multichaptered stories I have been working on in the background. I will probably be setting up a queue again, and if I find the confidence to do so, I will be posting some of my own OC art and fanart here as well? I am not completely out of that one just yet. It's really not that good haha.

Hope to see you all and make some connections again in this year <3 Love, Hazel

TL;DR

life and hobbies made me too busy to write

I still miss it

I will do another attempt at getting this going again, but hopefully with way less pressure and a very slow queue

Maybe post terrible fanart? If you'd be up for that

[setsuntamew]

So, Persona 5 Royal, huh?

Full disclosure: I had gotten about halfway through November on Wednesday and finished it out Saturday night, which took uhhh about 65-70 hours? Some of that was sitting there waiting for the PS4 controller to recharge or listening to music in the Thieves Den while eating, but I still feel like I need to own up to how extremely bad I am at making good decisions with my life XD

MOVING ON, THOUGH, HOLY SHIT. P5 was a very good game, but Royal’s additions & changes made it incredible. I like the ending way more; I think it’s more emotionally fulfilling and meaningful, especially with everyone’s more defined future plans. Definitely felt like everyone had more growth in the end!! Which is something I’d always thought P5 was lacking.

Snip snip for spoilers and the fact that this post ended up being too damn long, oops! the last third is basically Akechi feels and analyzing his ending, so......yeah XD

Part of why I plowed through SO much of Royal in so little time is....Akechi XD Like okay, this is my stupid fandom blog, I can be excited about him all I want!!! I got to Sae’s Palace and just....I couldn’t put it down. @dragonofeternal​ and I ordered an embarrassing amount of takeout instead of cooking because we just had to see how everything with Maruki and the third semester was gonna go down. I’d already been dying along the way because Akechi’s confidant dates are so good, I just. Fuck!!!

Also, look, for the entirity of Shido’s boss fight and the depths of Mementos/Yaldabaoth/etc, we’d look at each other every few minutes and just be like AKECHI SHOULD BE HERE WITH US, HE DESERVES TO GET HIS VENGEANCE ON HIS SHITTY DAD AND FORCED DESTINY!!!!!

December 24th had to be the longest god damn day in Akira’s life because like. Final exam grades are posted in the morning! He goes to school and then dives into hell, crawls his way back out, briefly dies by fading from human cognition, fights an actual fucking god, and then....ends up dissociating in Shibuya until Sae shows up and is like “oh hey thanks for everything you did, please sign up for being arrested now.” And while he’s still reeling from that, Akechi walks up to take his place, like some kind of bullshit knight in shining armor schtick, and leaves no room for conversation.

AND THEN WE HAVE TO GO ON A DATE

I romanced Hifumi this time around, because I wanted Akria to bang a girl who is just so incredibly out of his league, but....it’s not necessarily that I forgot I was dating someone, more that it had been *so many hours of plot* that I was emotionally exhausted. Like, Hifumi texted me and I was just like. Right. RIGHT. It’s still Christmas Eve, somehow. I was at *school* this morning. The whole world merged with Mementos briefly in the middle of this, Akechi is somehow alive, and I guess I’m going on a date now????

I do appreciate how many “god I’m just dissociating my way through this” conversation options there were for the date, tbh. I feel bad though, I really like Hifumi, but I feel like Akira is not giving a date his full emotional attention at that specific time. It feels a bit like emotional whiplash, more so than I remember it being in P5? Maybe it’s because I played it 4 years ago and there wasn’t the added emotional weight of Akechi’s reappearance, but it was just like....a lot, in Royal.

AND THEN THE NEW YEAR HAPPENED. I’d been spoiled on large parts of the third semester, mostly because Royal’s been out for a year already and I’m too curious for my own good. I’d also somehow lied to myself, saying I didn’t have time to play another Persona game right now, and yet here I am, 171 hours of game play within exactly a month, kicking myself for not knowing how deep in Persona hell I would get XD

Which is to say, as soon as the new year started, it felt I was drowning in anxiety. I knew something was wrong, I knew they were in a false reality, but knowing that sure as fuck didn’t make it easier to go through. If anything, it was somehow worse, knowing that it was all gonna come crumbling down, but I didn’t yet know the exact details, only the broad strokes of it. Just. Every time someone talked about something that was wrong, my heart would clench.

God, I’m so fucking tired, I pulled an all-nighter on Friday so I could get through Royal before having to work on Sunday, and I am feeling it right now. Life tips: don’t do what I do XD

Every moment with Akechi felt like borrowed time, at least for me, because I knew what was coming. I spent so much time in Mementos with him; I ended up putting just him and Akira in my party and plowing through everything, including trouncing the Reaper over and over just for the hell of it. I got his ultimate weapons, I spent so many nights in the jazz club with him that he ran out of dialogue options, and I still took him back for more. I accidentally failed to EVER trigger Sumire’s Showtime because every fight was just Akira and Akechi against the world, because fuck it, I’m playing this for fun!! If I want to play with them in stupid costumes and no one else in the party, I’m gonna. Royal did such an incredible job giving Akechi more depth and development: it was all I could hope for, and it made it that much fucking worse to know what was in store for him.

Somehow, I thought it would be harder for me to make the decision to refuse Maruki’s deal, since fuck, fuck what I wouldn’t give for Akechi to be alive???? But I barely hesitated, only really stopping because I had to emotionally brace myself for it, because a reality where he can’t carve out his own fate would be a disrespect to everything their relationship is built on.

I have a whole shit ton of feelings about post-beating Maruki but they’re basically all Akechi related meta so somehow they ended up at the end of this post, I’m sorry XD

I understand that they had to keep the going to jail bit because 1) Akechi didn’t turn himself in, Akira did and 2) it leads to the final events of the game, but let me just say....the emotional roller coaster of fighting Maruki, almost failing multiple times, waking up in jail, the Phantom Thieves & friends getting Akira out of jail, celebrating that, and then getting thrown into Valentines Day was a LOT for my heart to take. Once again, didn’t forget I had a girlfriend, just got too invested in the plot to really be thinking about her. It’s less than two weeks after the fight with Maruki and somehow, everything is supposed to be okay????

The scene with everyone talking about their future plans is such good character growth, though. Everyone feels like they’ve truly grown and are making decisions that, even though they might be painful or hard at times, are ultimately very important to them. It’s a really good contrast to the “almost everyone goes to Shujin and they all stay in Tokyo forever without doing anything for themselves” Maruki’s perfect reality bad end.

Standing in the Underground Mall on White Day, being told I had to get flowers but finally being able to have control of Akira again was....so bittersweet. The fact that the location of the date is the aquarium is a low fucking blow, and I almost threw the controller across the room I was so upset. Like. THE AQUARIUM IS UNLOCKED BECAUSE AKECHI HAS TICKETS HOW FUCKING DARE SOJIRO SUGGEST IT LIKE MY HEART ISN’T STILL ACHING????? God, speaking of that: The fucking god damn Featherman video game tore my heart out because I ended up playing it WHILE WORKING ON SHIDO’S PALACE and I cried a ton about Gray Pigeon because of course they had to dig the emotional knife in even deeper!! Just fuck me up, it’s fine, I’m just dying!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ended up scrolling through his texts to find the group chats that still had Akechi in them, and fuck, it was a LOT. Like. Maybe it’s because I’m too invested in the two of them, but it was probably the worst emotional whiplash of the whole game. Like, how am I supposed to go play happy with anyone while staring at texts from a reality built of lies? It wasn’t real but the proof lives on in his phone and his heart, and I’m still fucked up over it.

HOWEVER. FUCKING. I SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR BEING EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED ABOUT ALL THIS AND THEN DISCOVERED THE BASTARD STILL HAD ALL HIS EQUIPMENT, INCLUDING THE ULTIMATE MALE ARMOR!!! He returned his shit after Sae’s Palace even though he thought Akira was dead, but this time it didn’t get fucking returned to my inventory, so he must have fucking run off with all his shit!!!!!!! Why the hell did none of it get returned if he was never alive in the true reality? Like I know it'll be returned for a new game+ but I like to nitpick game mechanics for story reasons, because one of the things I love most about video games is the experience of them as another layer to the story. The texts from the third semester shouldn’t exist anymore, since they never really existed, but there they are. Akechi insisted that he has a gap in his memory after Shido’s Palace up until seeing Akira on Christmas Eve, but who can say that wasn’t related to Maruki tampering with reality or some other Persona-related reason?

I mean. I got the full and complete True Ending; I saw him in the train station. If that’s not Akechi, then who the fuck is it? Atlus made sure to put the work in to make him a part of not just the main story but also, especially, the third semester, and for what....to have his final time on screen be as the butt of the joke, squished underneath everyone in the Mona-copter? As much as it hurts, his end in Shido’s Palace matters; it fits his character and he gets to go out fighting- carving his own path, really. In Royal, barring the tiny glimpse of someone who’s probably him in the train station, the last we see of him is when he watches Joker let go of the rope to finish off Maruki. I know we got the heart to heart where Akira agrees to reject Maruki’s deal and Akechi insists that he’d rather be dead than live in a false reality, but.....no one even says goodbye to him. It’s tragic, it’s painfully lonely, but it doesn’t feel right for such a major character.

Also, as undignified as it is, for the first time ever, Akechi looks like he actually belongs in the Phantom Thieves in that final moment. He’s never been the butt of their jokes before; they always kept him at arms’ reach and he took himself too seriously to be included, but for that brief moment, it really felt like he was part of their group. He stopped lying about himself for their last month together, and so even if they don’t all like him, they can make that decision based on the truth, instead of layers of lies. His death is all the more tragic for this; a life cut short just when he’s finally finding a place he belongs. But his death was already painful; why make it so, so much worse?

Final thing: I’m gonna be spending a ton of time in the Thieves Den trying to find Akechi’s opinions on everything, but also....hey. HEY. What do those six stars that Jose (probably?) painted on the wall mean? Is it just a reference to Persona 6???? LIKE????? I HAVE QUESTIONS. SO, SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

Anyway, I’ve gotta go cry into my Starbucks and desperately try to focus on actually doing my job at work, but I loved Royal deeply and cannot wait to drown in it ;w;

[doakaptan]

i think i finally get mad men and im not happy about it

Two weeks ago I started watching Mad Men for an assignment and accidentally became obsessed with a show that had no premise other than Don Draper bedding various women. 5 seasons in, I bought myself a mechanical keyboard just so that I can live the aesthetic of the show while writing this.

(I will write this post assuming you have read my first blog post about this show but you don’t have to worry about missing any info because the first blog post was me predicting an unpredictable show and cursing at characters)

So turns out, I did not really figure out anything by only watching the first seven episodes. No surprise there. But by diving deep into the first 2 seasons I realized that Mad Men is actually deeper than it lets on and the cheapening effect of its over-sexualized characters don’t really do a great job at hiding it. Actually after a while sex in the show is more symbolism than actual sex. It especially signifies a mental state that is special to Don and you actually start feeling sorry for him whenever a sex scene comes up. 

Well, Don Draper is a villain as well as the hero or to put it more accurately, a tragic hero and as the seasons progress you develop a love hate relationship with him. And if you binge watch 5 seasons and use all your spare time to think about it, you start relating to Don. Surprisingly Don had all the odds against him and lived an awful life without ever doing anything to prompt it. As I learned more about his life I actually started getting mad at the alternative reality of Mad Men because goddamn let the man breathe and be happy for once. 

At the start I was mad about him cheating on Betty with every single powerful women that looked his way and I am still mad, you can’t really excuse that, but as their relationship was revealed more and more I kind of started to understand why he preferred spending the nights somewhere else. Betty is incredibly hard to put up with and no offense but even I’m not sticking around for her character development. She is overbearing, childish, overall a pain in the ass. If I knew her in real life I would have thought that she was pampered too much and was unable to grow up and get a grip as a result. She has mommy issues though and I respect that. There are also moments that she shines and she especially prefers shining only after they get a divorce and when she knows she will get Don’s approval. Before I lose track and continue talk about Betty know that Don is always worse and let me wrap up his analysis. 

Don is, in my opinion, someone who experiences love by avoiding it. (A love avoidant may be the term but I am not really sure). He marries Betty because he falls in love too hard and starts avoiding her right after their marriage, he likes the artist woman too much so he leaves her to be with someone she is more compatible with, same thing with the most of the women he chases. I only realized how hard he avoids the people he likes during season 4 when he decides to marry his secretary (who mind you spend like 4 days with him in Los Angeles to take care of his children) rather than building a healthy relationship with Faye who was probably the best person he could have ended up with. This also relates back to his self-destructive tendencies. He never truly believes that he deserved anything so he makes sure that he ruins it.

He excessively drinks and smokes, cuts ties on a whim, cheats and only ever feels truly like himself while he’s with Anna (who dies later in the series). Anna is and was the friend he needed all along. Even in his stolen identity Anna was the only person who accepted him as who he is and didn’t leave his side even in his darkest times. The man literally went to Korea by himself to defend an area and came back with a stolen id and lots of trauma and adopted himself into the life of her (the wife of the person he stole his identity from) and made sure she lived a life full of love. He shines the most when he can be himself but his old identity is and probably will always be an enigma to him. 

I think he’s slowly starting to find his way and make up for his mistakes but since he is used to self-destructing his set backs get more and more brutal each time. I start relating to him at this point the most. Relapsing in situations like these is brutal and it always feels like it is the last time and for once, for Don, it is the last time. He starts writing to understand himself and starts doing things like, regularly going to swimming or getting into a healthy relationship with someone who will be with him and help him through his ups and downs. He relapses when he decides to marry his secretary and from then on his relapse will only get worse but I believe that he is getting somewhere…

I will update this post once and for all, when I finish the entire series but for now I weirdly have hope that everything will end well for Don. 

And since I overstayed my welcome by going way over the word-limit I will speed run the thoughts I have about the other characters.

Betty, despite my comments earlier is actually misunderstood and deserves more than she gets. She truly loved Don and did everything in her power to make him happy. She even left her very successful modeling career to get married with him while SHE DESERVED BETTER THAN HIM. Her parenting is questionable but it can be overlooked because right now (in the middle of a global pandemic) we can all agree that being stuck with our family 24/7 is not ideal and we have been doing it for only a year while she has been doing it for more than a decade with more children adding up. LEAVE BETTY DRAPER/FRANCIS ALONE. 

(Also, watch the scene where she shoots at her neighbor’s pigeons because he threatened little Sally with killing her dog then talk to me about good parenting…)

Pete Campbell, turns out I really like him and his work ethic. I wish he ended up with Peggy but he is doing just fine with Trudy good for him. good. for. him. Thank god they didn’t follow up Trudy’s ‘old lover’, ‘the one that got away' plot line because it would probably be the thing I hated the most about watching this show. She is not an interesting character and she’ll never be. Good for Pete though, good for Pete. He never gets anything and I don’t know if he deserves getting it because we are not that exposed to him. But he is loyal to the ones he loves and even though his morals can get a bit questionable at times he is hardworking and will build up a great life as far as I’m concerned. (And if he doesn’t you can find me on ao3 re-writing his plot because I am no longer appreciating Pete-slander in this house).

Peggy. GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR HER. LEAVE THAT DAMN CATHOLIC CHURCH AND HANG OUT WITH WANNABE REALEST OF THE REALEST ARTISTS. Also love the gay girl she should have ended up with her instead of the wannabe artist who only talks about capitalism. Peggy’s job is capitalism their relationship don’t really make sense.

Joan… Joan deserved someone who treated her right but fell into the lap of a charming locker-room-mouthed jock, who tried to be a surgeon and failed then tried to be a psychiatrist and failed and finally got drafted for Vietnam (ngl I hope he dies there). Unpopular opinion she should have ended up with Roger because while I hate ‘the perfect girl fixes boy with problems’ trope I would have eat it up. I like them together and surprisingly they are good together. I think she is the only one smart enough to actually lead cis-het white men who think they own everything because they are men, within their company and she deserves more than she gets with the shit she deals with. 

On a last note, the topics Mad Men deals with sometimes can get a bit triggering or upsetting but I think it is worth a watch.

[shutupaboutandraste]

Welcome to the DADWC! Here is a prompt for you! Restaurant AU, with the characters of your choice!

Thank you so much for the prompt! I hope the drabble is to your liking. 

Word Count: 1655

Pairing: Cullen/Bull

For @dadrunkwriting

Going to restaurants was an added benefit of being friends with Vivienne. Madame De Fer’s Critiques was the formal review column that she ran, seemingly dictating the future of upper echelon restaurants. This was not one of those restaurants. A greasy hole-in-the-wall bar and grille had been Bull’s desired stop of the night. She had dragged her friend around all day from place to place all weekend. Now out of reviewable restaurants, Bull had desired food with fat and grease and everything else bad for you.

“Couldn’t have picked a place a little cleaner?” she asked, her nose turning up as she sat down at the bar with Bull. 

The place was smoky with dark lighting, harsh yellow incandescent lamps hung from the ceiling and came out of the wall at each booth. The ones at the booths had a dirty stained glass look to them, mixes of the deep yellow with rich reds and blues. The cushions were worn red leather. Booze wafted around them, mixing in with the scents of mouth-watering food.   

A gleeful smile crossed Bull’s face as he shook his head, “Absolutely not. You dressed me up for your fancy shit, now we get to eat where I like, Ma’am.” 

Vivienne tutted, “I’m a fine dining connoisseur. This bar food won’t impress me unless it tastes like gold.”

“I hope not,” Bull told her, “I think gold food would taste pretty shitty.” Vivienne groaned. 

From behind the bar, a curly-haired blond man approached, shaking a martini mixer vigorously. That certainly caught Bull’s eye. Firm fingers held the silver cups, curling at the tips to keep the glass in place. A wry smirk came over Bull’s lips as the man’s rhythm slowed before he poured the drinks before carefully sliding them to another couple of patrons. A tired, but gentle smile was turned his and Vivienne's way, reaching beneath the bar and pulling out two menus, placing them before the duo. “Welcome to Herald’s Rest,” he said, “My name’s Cullen--” 

“Bull,” he interrupted with a wink. 

Cullen seemed taken aback, no doubt trying to figure out if that was deliberate or a blink, but did his best customer service smile. Bull avoided cringing. Okay that was the wrong move for this guy, then. 

 “Nice to meet you,” Cullen said before diving into the specials for the evening as well as the unique drafts they had that night. 

Vivienne actually looked almost impressed at the selection, which was probably the best this place would get from her. Both of them ordered their meals in quick succession-- a whiskey bourbon burger for Bull and a salmon salad for Vivienne. She wasn’t sure she should trust the fish here, but Cullen assured her that they always bought their fish fresh every morning. The owner would allow nothing less than perfection when it came to quality. 

“I will be the judge of that, dear,” Vivienne had told him. 

And, to Bull’s surprise, she judged it quite well. Much to his delight, he watched her sneak out her phone, quickly tapping away some notes in the folder that held her restaurant reviews. As Cullen made his way back over to check on them, she quickly slid it back into her purse. Her shoulders rolled back into a confident smile while Bull leaned forward on the bar. 

“I hope everything is to your liking,” he said, taking away Bull’s empty glass, “And you’d like a refill?” 

“Please,” replied Bull. Cullen quickly got to work mixing a cocktail for Bull. Normally, he went for straight liquor, but oh what those hands could do. 

Vivienne told him that everything most certainly was. They chatted pleasantly while Bull watched, silent and studying. Their bartender was certainly well-kpet-- firm stubbled chin, a lip scar that seemed to enhance his face rather than detract, perfectly curled and styled hair, even his shirt-- a black tee that had ‘Herald’s Rest’ emblazoned on it in bold letters-- was fitted to perfection. Eventually, of course, a crack had to show. As Cullen finished pouring the drinks, he set down the shaker to clasp his fingers. To the naked eye he might have just been trying to crack his knuckles, but Bull could see that they were shaking. 

“You alright, man?” he asked, with a mark of genuine concern in his voice. 

A real smile crossed Cullen’s face this time as he nodded, “Yes, my apologies, I’ll have your drinks in a moment….” True to his word, Cullen was able to give them their drinks, though Bull watched as the man kept his eyes trained on his fingers, as if waiting for them to betray him. Thankfully, they lasted long enough to deliver them safely. He nodded, “Let me or Sera know if you need anything else.” 

At hearing her name, the other bartender, a blond elven woman with hand-cropped hair, looked up. Cullen gave her a nod which she nodded back to before moving to handle her customers again. Bull turned to make sure his good eye watched Cullen slip into the kitchen. A small frown took over his face-- Vivienne would say he was pouting, but he didn’t pout. 

Though, instead, finishing her meal, Vivienne slipped out of her chair, “Unfortunately, I need to use the powder room.” 

“Have fun with that,” snickered Bull, casting her a wry glance before turning his attention back toward the door. 

He stayed like that for a while before he heard someone huff. He turned to see the elven woman--Sera-- looking at him, grabbing some empty dishes and glasses from the couple next to Bull and Vivienne who had just left. Instead of speaking, he just shrugged at her. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout ‘im,” she said, “Takes a bit ‘fore he can come back. Shakes and all.” 

“He okay?” asked Bull. 

“I jus’ said don’ worry ‘bout ‘im, right?” she told him, “Yeesh.” 

True to her word, Cullen did reappear just as Sera said no more than five minutes later. Vivienne still hadn’t come back from the bathroom, which was concerning. He hoped that fish had been up to quality despite how the bar looked. Bull watched Cullen flex his hand, leaning against the wall as he looked nervously at the bar. Bull slipped out of his seat, taking Vivienne’s purse with him. Mainly, because she’d kill him if he didn’t. 

“You gonna be okay?” he asked. 

Cullen looked up at him like a deer in headlights, his fist curling up protectively. That was good-- the man had fighting instincts from somewhere. Layers laid beneath that pretty face. It wasn’t unusual for Bull to flirt with a bartender, but Cullen had been a fun puzzle to figure out and Bull wasn’t quite done. No… He might need a few more visits before he had completed it. 

“Yes,” he replied, sighing, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you unattended.” 

“You’re good,” Bull rumbled, “Ma’am’s at the bathroom anyway.” 

“...You call her Ma’am?” he asked, head tilting as though he were a young Mabari and not a full grown man. Bull couldn’t help but stare openly, a smile echoing on his face. 

“Friend of me,” he clarified, “She hates Viv and Vivienne is too long to say.” 

Cullen actually let out a soft chuckle, “Ah, I see. Well, I hope she finds our restrooms to her liking as well. Not every day a critic walks into our bar.” 

Now that had caught Bull’s attention. Vivienne made extra precautions to make sure no one discovered that there was a food critic in her midsts at any restaurant. It came with the territory of getting an honest review. Yet, her Cullen had stated her profession like it was plain as day. Bull crossed his arms. 

“You figure that out on your own?” he asked. 

Cullen shook his head, “No… Someone like her doesn’t normally walk into The Rest for… obvious reasons. I mentioned it to our assistant manager, Leliana. She’s the one who said she was, uh, oh… that Orlesian blog I can never remember the name of. Madame something. Made sure to treat her as anyone else. Leliana believes special treatment gets you caught once you know.” He chuckled nervous, reaching up a hand to rub the back of his neck, “I.. should get back to work.” 

“Let me do the honor of escorting you,” Bull said, motioning toward the step toward the bar. That little jibe managed to get Cullen to snort a little before hurrying over back behind the bar with a quick, yet confidant gate. That was a military man’s walk. Just who was this bartender? 

Bull followed, taking his seat again and resting down Vivienne’s pocket book. Behind him he heard her starting to walk up.

“Of course!” a woman with a thick Antivan accent said, “We’d love to be featured! I can get an interview with our owner, of course. I’ll call Ms. Cadash right away.” Bull and Cullen shared a knowing glance, but pretending as if Cullen was simply cleaning a glass from the dryer. 

Vivienne took her seat, smiling at Cullen, “Feeling better?” 

“Yes,” he said, “Thank you. Refill?” Vivienne nodded. 

“A new drink, please. Fanciest you have, dear, for me and my friend,” she ordered, “I’m not sure what it will be, but surprise me. I don’t get to find such diamonds in the roughs, often.” 

“Because you never go to them,” laughed Bull. 

Cullen quickly got to work going through what they had until he actually managed to find a nice bottle of champagne which Vivienne said would do nicely. Vivienne toasted Bull for his find, though she admitted she was not going to be kind about the décor. Still, no matter how a place looked, good food would always be good food. 

They made sure to tip Cullen handsomely. And, if he found a slip of paper with a string of digits on them, well… Bull would leave it up to him to call.

[blu3mila]

i’m working on my master’s thesis these days, it’s an art project+paper kinda deal and as of now i have the idea/format somewhat set. i’ll most probably include video works that i’ve done over the years, the performative kind, so i’m gathering bits of those as well as new sources/inspirations and sending them to my supervisor.

since this is going to be a subjective-personality-image-gender-performance work and since i’m the one that picks the inspiration... naturally... interestingly... coincidentally... the latest pdf i sent had a fair chunk of it abt Trent Reznor.

i’ve mentioned before on my blog. hah. that his work is inspiring to me and it’s the themes, approach, execution and all that but WHAT I HAVEN’T mentioned, and what might be an outlet for me now, is the persona/image stuff. in the pdf i sent i wrote:

---masculinity/image/style/looks, something of how I want to be perceived, or something that speaks to me. Before I had this deep-dive into NIN I spoke with a friend about how I’d hate to live an image this destructive:

‘it feels to me like the more open this dirt and obscenity becomes, the more... difficult it is to do anything 'positive' about it. u can b disgusting and that might b sexy for a while but it will most likely not end in any satisfying way’

‘the line i was drawing above with the obscenity talk... it was about BEING one of them. like Trent was. it sucks bcs there's not really any escape in that situation. it's good that you have a character that you can live out this pain through and i think it's better than letting YOURSELF become the character. even if that might feel more appealing (it does to me). it’s better bcs as i said there would be little escape otherwise’

---and I think I still would hate it, but some part, some part of it is very familiar, something that is already present.

i ruminated on this, edited together a video sketch of my two previous works and sent it off with a statement.

‘I want to speak about/around the search for self instead. Trying to figure out what to be... I like that my past selves shine through these videos. My body is different— I am my body, meaning WE are different— and the effect of the same actions if I were to repeat them now would also be different. I like how my pasts look side by side. I think I might try to make myself into someone I want to be and, here’s the catch, try to believe that I succeeded. Make a pretty-handsome-dramatically-painful-reznorish persona, hold it and receive a confirmation that I can be and am all these things, dramatic and painful and just as edgy as my soul desires. Maybe then I could dance something happy.’

and off it went while i kept thinking and somehow bringing that idea even closer to reality. i don’t know when i’ll be comfortable enough to take myself seriously in the mirror, but it all feels more real. what brought this post about was the understanding that i am yet again in the process of constructing a persona for myself, but this time around i do have the tools of a more fitting body. so that if i were to ‘make myself into a xxx’ i might actually succeed and suddenly feel that it isn’t a performance and i am allowed to be who i want to be. it’s difficult to believe even now, but that’s true.

i’ll finish this off with just a little scream of: I DON’T KNOW HOW COHERENT I WAS IN THE EMAIL I SENT, I’M AFRAID TO LOOK AT THE REPLY CLOSELY BUT IN A GLIMPSE SHE SAID

THAT I SPEAK LIKE TRENT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THAT THOUGHT CAME FROM BUT WHATEVER AND SHE SAID IT ALL FIT TOGETHER AND IT JUST BLASTED ME WITH SO MUCH JOY THAT I sat down a couple of hours later and typed out this giant of a post.

must be a serious matter.

i’m not sure if i need to justify myself here, but i will just... clarify. that what i’m describing is a coming into rights of a life, your own life. gender, personality, fucking hair colour - whatever, all of it. it’s not about some famous musician person (although it involves him) but it’s about finding what you like, what clicks with you and what you feel you want to be (what you already are, what you only need to allow yourself to admit to) AND OTHERS RECOGNIZING THIS YOU IN YOU. that’s. that’s it. that’s the joy!!!!

[floralbuckleys]

I just want to mention before you slate anyone for hating on Gabriella Walsh; she's been called out a multitude of times for taking advantage of pretending to be Latinx and for profiteering off Latinx people and culture when she had no Latinx heritage or blood.

She's been asked repeatedly to stop appropriating Latinx culture, roles and appearances and she refuses to acknowledge it or understand that what she is doing is harmful.

It has absolutely nothing to do with misogyny or any ships and everything to do with racial/cultural appropriation.

Just in case you weren't aware or were confused!

Hello anon! I hope you're prepared for a read, because I have quite a few things to say in response to this. I am neither unaware nor confused, and nor by the way are other POC friends I ranted about your ask with.

So let’s get into it.

1) It's interesting this is literally the only thing you choose to address. Not the misogyny or malicious hatred Gabrielle and the other female actresses' on the show get, but simply this. Interesting.

Now, you should ask yourself, why when someone makes a post against malicious hatred and misogyny it is not your FIRST response to agree, but rather try to change the conversation against them.

2) Secondly, please understand that everything I am saying comes from my own experience and point of view as an afro mexican myself and honestly if you are white, I could care less what you think on the issue.

I find it interesting you're so comfortable attacking Gabrielle Walsh for these claims of "taking advantage", "pretending to be latinx", and "profiteering off latinx people."

Such big broad powerful statements to say, when in reality you should NOT be so comfortable attacking a mixed African American woman, or any person of color for Fox's CHOICE to cast Gabrielle Walsh in this ambiguous latinx role.

Why aren't you attacking FOX about their casting choices? Why aren’t you going against networks for choosing to do this, but POC?

Let’s not forget that we all know there are a few other actors you could bring this debate up against, but that doesn't really happen now does it? I wonder why.

3) Tell me, what do you know of the struggles of being a black woman in America or a black woman trying to pursue a career as an actress in America? Any race of color and so on? 

What do you know of what it's like to be a person of color going through a rigorous casting process, and potentially constantly only get casted as latinx because you are mixed and do not have the stereotypically features/attitude the casting wants?

You don't know.

Hell, I don't know either because I've never had to be in Gabrielle Walsh's shoes or any black women trying to get an acting job in America or anywhere in the world.

But, I do know that growing up as an Afro mexican myself in school with a Spanish name, but "ambiguous" features, people have literally sat around me and debated my race before I could speak up or clarify.

"You look black."

"No, you look mexican."

That is such an uncomfortable position to be, and I would imagine Gabrielle. Walsh has felt the same, because it's a feeling a lot of mixed POC can most likely relate to, constantly getting placed in a box by what race they are and what race they're perceived as. POC actors are constantly forced to deal with these issues, while it’s easy for people to attack us for them online.

I can only imagine how many times a white casting director has looked at her and thought, “Well, I know that you’re not latinx, but you certainly look at it, and that’s all we care about.”

Because at the end of the day what does white Hollywood really care about? Trying to get that diversity win.

4) In my opinion, a lot of the hate Gabrielle is even getting is because she's getting in the way of the fandom's favorite ship. Any female who gets in the way of the ship gets hate.

So, is it really your niche to constantly pinpoint POC actors or any actor really who gets cast to play a character of a race they are not? Ambiguous or otherwise. Is it your passion to speak on this issue?

What about sexuality? Straight actors who play LGBTQ+ roles and vice versa? What about religion as well? There are so many angles to look at this from.

Ask yourself seriously, if you are attacking Gabrielle. Walsh because you're genuinely THAT concerned that a mixed black woman is getting cast to play this ambiguous latinx role.. OR if you're just concerned for your ship.

5) Not to mention the amount of issues black and latina women themselves face in the industry and their experiences. Honestly POC actresses and actors are the most hated on in fandoms. People love coming for their necks over nothing and anything, and that’s how it’s been for a long ass time.

6) Now to speak on it from another point of view, I wish Casting Directors did not do this. I wish that people were cast to play the race they are, and that people of color didn’t have to deal with these types of issues.

I wish people of color weren’t placed into boxes by how they appear, and not what they are.

But no, I myself as a afro mexican am NOT offended that Gabrielle. Walsh is being cast to play these roles. Nor would I be offended if the roles were reversed, because you know what? There are so many more important things to be upset about when it comes to the injustice of POC.

People of color have had to fight so hard to even have their place in the entertainment industry and we constantly have to see famous white actors portrayed us our races.

Now, I’d be very interested to know what Gabrielle Walsh herself actually thinks about the issue and her experiences, and what she thinks about all the hate she has received from it.

It’s actually a very deep conversation to have that should be had, and probably because of fear of backlash, we will never see her speak on it.

And genuinely, if other latinx people have an issue with Gabrielle’s role, or any other similar issues to this, I respect their voices and I respect that conversation because we are valid. 

But I do not accept vilifying her for this, especially if it’s coming from a misguided place.

So nah, you ain't about to come into my inbox and try to make her seem like some money hungry culture stealing witch to me. Nah.

Honestly, there's a lot more I could say on this topic, but to summarize, I do not agree with your blind views, and I will not tolerate any hate against this actress on my blog.

Think whatever the heck you want about the character, I am indifferent, but this ain’t it for me.

So if any other Gabrielle haters want to try it, you're simply going to be blocked because I am not dealing with your bullshit.

EDIT: Someone asked my opinion on the interview Gabrielle did and I’ll be frank. I did not like her wording on it, but it is not an odd thing to hear a person of color say in my experience. I’ve heard POC people around me say similar things. Is it a problematic statement? Yes. Should she be informed of that? Yes. Do I think it came from a malicious place? No.

However, I don’t think she took that question very seriously, nor do I think the interviewer was really trying to get to the BOTTOM of her serious thoughts on it.

When I say I would be interested to hear her thoughts on the matter, I’m talking about a deep dive, another POC asking her the serious questions and getting to the root of her thoughts and others on the matter, there and now.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: “Goofy’s Valentine’s Date” Review

Come on in mouskeeteers! It’s Valentine’s Season here on popculturebuffet, and while I may be single, I do love a good romance story. I find them sweet, sometimes hilaroius, and endearing when done right. And the bane of my existance when done wrong, but we’ll be getting to smidgen of that too. Point is I may not be getting any romantic love this season but I can sure celebrate it. So for the next two weeks we’ll be diving deep first into some ending with one heck of a closer. 

So for our opening act since i’ve been going on in to the House of Mouse a lot lately, and since I NEARLY missed this one if not for Kevin, we’re going to be looking in on my boy Goofy as he grapples with being lonely and Daisy misguidedly tries to help him. Blind dates with a manquin and Mortimer hitting on women to predictable and justified results insues under the cut. 

So as usual for house of mouse we’re chunking this up by segment. Let’s go. 

Donald’s Valentine’s Dollar: Easily the segment of the night and the best House of Mouse short i’ve seen in a rewatch so far. The short is simple but awesome: Donald has only a dollar to spend for V-Day, and wants to buy daisy a tiny but sweet box of chocolates, but his dollar blows away in the wind and he chases after it. And that’s.. it that’s our premise. But it leads into fast paced looney tunes style shenanigans with donald zipping up and down kites and later taking goofy’s broken one and putting it on like wings Arthur Everest styles and taking after it. Also the nephews show up and dick around with their kites because their douchebags in some shorts. Also donald tries to punch a whale.. well a whale kite but still let it be said there’s a short where donald tries to punch what he thinks is a sky whale. And that is wonderful.  The climax is also really sweet, as Donald gets the dolalr, after another briliant sequence where they play hide and seek in the clouds, only to find it sold out and himself dejected waiting for her thinking she’ll be mad.. only for her to present him with the very gift he was going to give her and the two to share a look. 

It’s cute enough on it’s own but after SEVEAL weeks of having to put up with the  three cabs version it’s NICE to have a Daisy back whose not an overly demanding monster from some stygian hole in the sky. Not much else to say about this one. I’ts just REALLY good and I could easily recommend checking it out on it’s own. 

Mickey Saves Minnie: The Stairs This is one of those short segments from Mouseworks that lasts about a minute and is off a simple recurring premise, in this case Mickey saving Minnie from some sort of bizzare fortress of pete’s.. in this case THE STAIRS!

I said STAIRS. In this case Gimmicked stairs with all kinds of traps: boxing gloves, giant balls...

And giant slinkies. I knew one day they’d grow big and kill us all but they all laughed at me.. well whose laughing now.. well still them because Mickey gets past them easily. Pete turns the stairs into a slide but mickey rebounds by pure luck via slinky and uses one of the boxing gloves to win, minnie kisses him and this was real fun. Nothing really deep to go into just a fun few minutes of my life i’m glad i’m not getting back. Speaking of wishing I had minutes of my life back....

Pluto’s Arrow Error: Well this one’s messed up. Look Love Potion plots genuinely ONLY work when the writer knows that giving someone something to make you fall in love with them is inehrently messed up. It worked in Buffy because Xander did so for vengance after Cordellia broke up with him, which granted she did REALLY hurt him but it’s still a bit of overkill. However while it ends up backfiing and making every OTHER girl in school into him, and psyotically so as the episode goes on, he never indulges, as he KNOWS it’s wrong and not under their power or choice. Basically it was one long deconstuction of this nonsense. 

My point is unless it’s used to deconstruct this type of plot or for some shenanigans, Love Potion plots are inherently creepy at best and rapey at worst. So naturally we get one with Pluto trying to make a dog who dosen’t know him love him instead of trying to woo her, and accidently making her bodyguard/boyfirend I guess chase after him for 2 minutes while he’s tinted pink. And yes i know he’s a dog, but he’s an intellegent dog who should knwo this is bad and never gets called out on it and his punshiment.. is one long gay joke. 

So yeah while not the worst love potion plot i’ve probably seen, or love magic or what have you, I could make a list of those and might some day, it is still pretty uncomfortable and easily a dead spot in an otherwise pretty enjoyable episode. 

Goofy’s Valentine’s Date: And fitting it’s accompanying shorts, the good ones anyway, this is a simple plot with funny gags. It’s valentin’es day at the house of mouse and Mickey encourages everyone to kiss their sweeties. So we get Aladdin and Jasmine, AWWWW always shipped those two so adorable, a toy soldier and some other toy from a work im unfamiliar iwth and Timon turns down Pumba. Come on man, who are you trying to kid me or the censors? 

But Goofy’s depressed since he dosent have a sweetie and Daisy feels bad for the poor guy while Minnie tells her “not to meddle”. 

Minnie from a buisness standpoint, he’s crying while reading the menu and clealry not in great mental shape. Setting him up with someone or even just talking to him will help with that. And from a human being standpoint... your being a cruel ass to NOT help him in any way shape or form. The guys a fucking widower. He’s probably been lonely for some time and more focused on raising max. And since no one knows where Peg is he dosen’t have a lot options now he is ready to date again. It’s not MEDDLING to help a clearly lonely person whose gotten over his grief move on, it’s just called basic human decency. I expect that from cablleros daisy Min not you. 

So Daisy does end up meddling, in part because she thinks it’s shuffling around coins, and sets him up with a secret admirer.. without actually getting him one. 

So Minnie does agree to help and they.. put him in a blindfold and have him date a manquin. In front of the entire restraunt. I have no words.. since this is pretty funny and Goofy’s shenanigans while blindfolded, because it’s a BLIND date.

Also sidebar it’s very weird that she DID set Lincoln up with a blind date once but didn’t pull this gag. Point is it’s some funny stuff including Gus, in his first apperance on this blog seriously how’d it take so long, eating the shakes he orders since Goofy can’t see. 

Tying into the resolution to this is Moritmer, who spends the episode as you’d expect.. hitting on various characters. He hits on the wicked step sisters, whose cat attacks him, he hits on the lady gargoyle from huncback and her two friends rightfully beat his ass, he hits on madam mim who set shim on fire and he hits on the queen of hearts who somehow DOSEN’T cut off his head, and you know is married, and does launch him into goofy spoiling the ruse. Honestly I found this funny both because Moritmer is objectively hilarious and because the show DIDN’T take his side at all or give him anyone, and he suffered consequences for sleazly hitting on women. He also called himself a wonder man. No sir the only wonder men are these guys. 

And if your wondering about the secod one there was a whole song about it. 

Your welcome. So Goofy’s dejected until after Pluto’s cartoon where it turns out he had a secret admirer after all. it’s clarabelle! Awww.. and Daisy says “Well it’s better than a manquin” what a supportive friend you are. And she’s STILL better than cabs Daisy. Point is happy ending pulled sorta out of their ass, as she showed up earlier but sitll it woudl’ve been easy to have Clarabelle chime in during their scheme or something and have Minnie set them up to fix it. Or Donald or Mickey. Donald was absent outside of the short. That’s not fair. But overall not a bad wraparound, ending is a huge copout and feels like not much, but i’m starting to think that’s usual for season 1. I do KINDA ship the two, but usually I prefer her with horace or him with Peg Pete. Yeah you heard me and you cant unhear it and frankly I don’t want you to. We also get a funny add about the Queen of Hearts valentine’s service.  Overall not a bad episode. Fun gags, a cute premsie and only one really terrble short. Check it out this valentein’s and hopefully disney will have this show up on plus by next valentine’s. Until the next rainbow, it’s been a pleasure. 

[manireads]

Try Again

soulmate au! sunwoo x reader 

wc: 3230

notes: trying again hopefully this gets in the tags this time. 

check out my masterlist, pinned on my blog. 

“I’m sorry but no. I have to go now.” 

I froze where I stood. This is the moment that I had been waiting for all my life. The moment where I feel that euphoria that everyone described. The tingling fingers, the weightless, the jelly-like legs. The moment couldn’t be more romantic. Wintertime but not freezing. Soft snow falling catching on my clothes and in my hair. I was leaving the restaurant, where I celebrated my friend's birthday. He was walking in when our eyes met. I stood there feeling it all, my heart beating wildly, only to be shot down in an instance. 

He walked away from me and into the building and I tried to stop the tears from falling down my face. I wanted to run but I needed to take one last look at him. I turned and watched him catch up with another woman, he kissed her on the cheek and she smiled brightly at him. I felt sick to my stomach. I watched as she talked to him and he responded casually before moving to the host’s desk. She turned back towards the entrance and for a second we made eye contact. She was beautiful. Long hair that flowed so effortlessly, a soft feminine face, cherry lips, and bright eyes. He wanted her, not me. 

Embarrassed, I looked away, pretending to be distracted by my phone. I tapped away at the screen, hoping that she would look away from me and wouldn’t catch the sadness that washed over me. By the time I had looked up, both of them were gone, probably on their way to their table to enjoy their time together. 

Everyone has a soulmate. Things have been like this since the dawn of time. When you’re young, they tell you that you could meet your soulmate at any moment. No one ever knew when it would happen but you would know when you did. The feeling is something you’ve never felt before and the only thing that you will be able to see, at that moment, is your soulmate. Most people go looking for their destined other half, others wait for destiny to bring them together naturally. No matter the path you take, you will meet your soulmate during this lifetime. Statistically, 87% percent of soulmates stay together and build a future together. But the other 13% are rejected and decide to live their own lives. I was now a part of that 13%. I was rejected. 

I spent weeks isolated and crying in my apartment. Grieving for the future that I could have had. I had tried to hide it from my friends. Most of them had found their soulmates or were still waiting to be guided to them by destiny. But when I didn’t respond to them for a while, they came over and confronted me. 

“You know we aren’t leaving until you tell us what’s wrong?”

“Kevin,” A shaky breath left my mouth. I didn’t want to cry in front of them. They didn’t need to be caught up in my sadness. “I don't know what to tell you. There’s nothing to tell you.”

“Love, you look like you’ve been crying for days,” Jacob said, taking a seat next to me on the couch, placing a mug of warm tea in my hand. I thanked him softly and he nodded before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Just tell us what happened. You’ve ghosted us since Eric’s birthday.” Kevin came closer to the two of us on the couch, trying to coax an answer out of me. But I stayed silent. I didn't want to admit it. I didn’t want to be seen as unwanted. 

“Alright, if you don’t want to tell us right now, then that’s okay. But can we at least stay here and cheer you up a bit.” Kevin asked, tentatively. I nodded and I could see a smile grow on his face. “Good because there’s this movie I wanted to watch with you but you missed movie night last week.” 

I could feel myself become more relaxed as the hours passed. It was nice to be around them again and reminded me of how much I missed them, especially hearing them banter with each other. The two of them were going back and forth, trying to figure out if a hotdog was a sandwich when the words fell from my mouth. 

“I met him.” The two of them stopped and faced me.

“Met who?” Jacob asked. 

“I met my soulmate.” 

“Oh my god, when? Who are they? Why haven’t we met them yet?” I wanted to cringe hard at the excitement that was plastered on Kevin’s face. His smile was large and as he waited for me to delve into more detail. Jacob on the other side of me, looked just as expecting but more hesitant as he could almost sense something wasn’t right. 

“His name is Kim Sunwoo. I met them outside of Eric’s party when I left early. You know, because I had to go to work the next day.” They both nodded, remembering that night, how they had both been trying to keep me out later but finally had let me go after holding me hostage for hours. 

“Then what’s wrong, Y/N?’’ Jacob’s soft voice made emotions well up within me. I took a deep breath in forcing myself to get through this conversation without completely breaking down.

“He rejected me. He was there with someone else, another girl. When I was trying to find more information on him, I found the girl’s Instagram.” I remember coming across her account, she had tagged the restaurant in her pictures. And even though I had tried to stop myself after finding the bare minimum on my soulmate, I couldn’t stop myself from scrolling down her profile, hurting myself with picture after picture that she posted of him and with him. They looked so happy and that’s everything I wanted. “She’s his girlfriend. They’ve been together for years. High school sweethearts.” 

I watched as the shock set into their faces. Kevin tried to apologize but I didn’t let him. He was excited that I could have found the person I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. It wasn’t his fault that it didn’t end up the way that we had all expected. They spent the rest of the night consoling me, telling me that it was his loss and reassuring me that everything happens for a reason. Kevin kept telling me that there were people who didn’t live with their soulmates and still even found love. Some people had soulmates who had died and they’d gone on to live happy fulfilling lives with people who didn’t have soulmates as well. That this moment wasn’t the end for me. I pretended to agree but even then, I felt like it wasn’t possible for me. That loneliness was my only option.

They say time heals everything and well, I don’t know who ‘they’ are but, they might be onto something. It took me a while to figure out my next steps. But slowly I started to pick myself up off of my living room floor and live and again, with Jacob and Kevin by my side the whole time. We decided that we’d keep my soulmate a secret from the rest of our friends until I was completely ready to tell them and in the meantime, I tried to reimagine what my life would be like without the person I was destined to be with. It was hard, some days I found myself scrolling through his social media aimlessly until Kevin had caught me one time and called me out on it. 

“I get that he’s your soulmate but doing this isn’t going to help you better. Plus, lurking on his page like this is kinda creepy.” 

I hated to admit it but he was right. From then on I stopped checking his page and from there it only got better. I started to hang out with my friends more and I even went on a couple of dates. I was starting to become a bolder version of myself. Unknowingly, in the past, I had let the idea of finding my soulmate hold me back for so long. It stopped me from taking risks and opportunities that I'd never even considered before so when my job offered me a chance to work in a different country, I took it without hesitation. I didn’t even know where I was going at first, but I was excited to find out that they were sending me to help establish a new branch of the company in Thailand. When it told my friends they were happy for me although a little sad that I would be leaving them for 6 months. They all helped me pack up my small apartment and sent me off with well-wishes at the airport, telling me to be safe and to make sure I called them when I finally touched down. That day, before I boarded the plane, I blocked him and his girlfriend, so that every time I went back to either page it would be blank. It felt symbolic of me starting over again. 

My time in Thailand, came and went and it was winter time again when I returned. I was left to my own devices for a couple of hours, I planned to stay with Jacob, who was still at his job until I could get a place of my own. Having nowhere else to go, I decided to settle into a small dive bar that I used to go to all the time with my friends. The bartender greeted me warmly and indulged in all my stories about Thailand. From behind me, the front door swung open and a group of loudly talking people walked in. The bartender excused himself from me to go tend to the group who had made themselves comfortable on the other side of the bar.

Now by myself, I turned back to the drink that I had been nursing for a little while and threw my head back, drinking it all in one swift motion. I shook off the chill from the alcohol and that when my eyes met his.

From across the bar, amongst the group of people that just came in, stood Sunwoo, staring back at me. A warm sensation flutters over me, familiar to the first time we met but not quite the same. It isn’t uncommon for soulmates that haven’t seen each other in a long time to relive that initial rush but the feeling was stronger than what other people described. Maybe because it’s been so long. I knew he felt it too, as a small gasp left his lips. The rush of warmth was stopped as reality hit me again. As much as I enjoyed this feeling, I would never lead to anything between the two of us and sadness filled the hole that cozy feeling left. Immediately, I started to pack up my things, shoving my phone into my purse and shrugging my coat on as fast as I could. I pulled out a 20 dollar bill to cover my tab, a little too much but a nice tip for the bartender who kept me company all this time. I gathered my things as fast as possibly shoving my wallet and phone into my purse but before I could leave the bar, a soft hand was placed on my shoulder. I looked over to see no other than Sunwoo standing there with a nervous look on his face.

“Y/n, right?” He knew my name. Something I didn’t think he’d know seeing as how he brushed me off the first time we met. I nodded not trusting myself to speak. I watched as he took in a deep breath gathering himself. “Could I buy you a drink?” 

“I - I um …” I wanted to say no but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. He kept his eyes on me hoping silently for me to say yes. 

“Is everything alright over here?” From behind the bar, the bartender nodded to the two of us, obviously sensing that something wasn’t right. 

“Uh, yeah. Everything is good. I um,” I trailed off taking a glance back towards Sunwoo, who had taken his hand off my shoulder and was looking at the ground quite solemnly. “He was just going to buy me a drink.” From the side of my eyes, I notice Sunwoo perk up and look at me bewildered that I had accepted his offer and, to be honest, I was surprised at myself too. 

We sat down at a table on the opposite side of the room, he had already finished his drink, swallowing it down nearly in one gulp while mine stayed untouched. I couldn’t bear to look at him, scared that the sadness I had worked so hard to suppress would come bubbling out of me so I chose to stare out the window. This was beyond awkward. What do you say to the man that broke your heart? I glanced over to him and his eyes were staring into the cup between his hands. I was starting to get annoyed, he wanted me to stay here so why wasn’t he talking? He was the one who rejected me. I looked down at my phone. 5:34 pm. Jacob would be home by now. 

“Look, I have to go. My friend is waiting for me and - ” I said getting up from my seat but before I could get far enough away his hand grasped on to mine. Shivers went up my hands and through my whole body. Another thing that happens with soulmates but it had just dawned on me at that moment was that it was the first time we touched skin to skin.

“I’m sorry. Please stay.” He looked up at me from his seat, his pleading desperate but quiet. Nearly washed out by the noise in the bar. I sat back down, finally looking him in his eyes. 

“Fine but I do have someone waiting for me.” I couldn’t hide the annoyance in my voice. “What do you want from me?”

He was quiet on the other end of the table. I could see him pressing his thumbs together anxiously as he tried to gather himself as I watched in silence. 

“Why did you block me?”

“Huh?” 

“On Instagram. You blocked me. Why?”

Now I was struck silent. How did he know that I had blocked him? 

“That was a long time ago, how did -”

“Six months ago.” 

“How did you know I blocked you?” I asked warily. He breathed out like he had been holding his breath this whole time. He leaned back in his chair and ran his hand through his hair. It seemed like he was willing to talk so I copied him, getting more comfortable in my chair. 

“After we met, I tried not to think much about you. I was happy, in a good relationship, and I didn't want to change that so quickly, especially because we had been together for so long. Everything was fine for a little bit but I did feel bad for how I treated you that night. I want you to know that I should have never done that and I’m sorry.” I nodded, understanding where he was coming from and he continued. “Everything was fine for a little while. But she told me about an account that was watching all of her Instagram stories but didn't follow her. When she showed it to me, I recognized you immediately. That when I started checking up on your profile.” 

“I didn’t mean to stalk or anything I just wanted to know about my soulmate,” I said blushing and embarrassed at the fact that I had been caught this whole time. I took a swig of the drink in front of me hoping it would help cool me down. 

“It’s okay. I did the same thing.”

“What now?” 

“Well, I kept up to date with you on your account. So much to the point where my girlfriend started to notice. She kept asking about it but I just told her that it was nothing. But one night she kept pushing it and I finally told her that we were, you know, soulmates.” he said gesturing between the two of us. “We got into a big fight over it. She was mad that I didn’t tell her. Eventually, we talked it out and we broke up. She didn’t want to keep me from my soulmate. We’re still friends, however at a distance, and she tried to encourage me to talk to you. But I was too scared too. I was afraid you’d reject me as I rejected you.”

I watched him closely, noticing the weight he carried on his shoulders. Saying all of this must be a lot for him. 

“But by the time I had the courage to do so, you had already blocked me. So when I saw you I thought ‘Fate must be giving me another chance’ so I took it.” It took a moment to process everything I was hearing but it had lit a tiny spark in me about all the possibilities for us but I needed him to ignite the flame and make it bigger. I needed confirmation to hear the words from his mouth. 

“So what do you want from me, Sunwoo?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“A do-over. A chance to make this, us, work. I know I messed up and I regret it every day but I was scared. I never thought that I was ever going to meet my soulmate, so when I finally did, I was too scared to take the leap. But now I’m ready, I just hope I’m not too late and you haven’t given up on me yet. I want you, Y/n. ”

I turned my head away from him, wiping the small tears from my eyes after hearing the words that I always wanted to hear. My soulmate wanted me. I didn’t have to be lonely and bitter for the rest of my life or hide the fact that deep down I still yearned after the idea of being with the person that was perfectly made for me. It was like everything was falling into place. I took a deep breath, collecting myself before looking at him again. 

“Fine, but if we do this we start from the very beginning. No hard feelings or anything. Just two people, soulmates, getting to know each other. Deal?” 

“Deal.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. 

We stayed there for the rest of the night, talking like I had imagined we would have a whole year ago. I nearly forgot about Jacob, who let me know that he was extremely worried about me after the fact. That night I could feel the sadness I had held on to for a whole year slowly dissipate and be replaced with the excitement for my future with him. I was ready to smile with him, laugh with him, be happy with him. I was ready to do everything together, from cheesy over the top dates to simply spending time with each other. I was ready to try again.