#i could post like 300 screenshots from this movie..

[emokylegallner]

i watched this last week and i cant stop thinking about the outfit and everything about kyle in this movie ... i mean this is precisely why my username is what it is

can we get some more eyeliner on this guy

[breakfastatmiles]

Your art is wonderful!!!

A constant inspiration to my own creativity and art work. Could you explain some of your art style to me? I’m interested in looking at a bunch of different ones to try and finally find one for me.

Goodnight!!🌙

Thank you so much! That means the world to me! I’d be happy to share some of my process with you 😄

Keep in mind I’m completely self-taught, so this is just the process of how I make my drawings and not any sort of professional advice 😅 apologies for the long post ahead 😪

Starting with the basics, my biggest influences are Jin Kim and Ami Thompson. Both are amazing character designers and I really admire their stylization and expressions. Whenever I feel stuck on something, I always go back to their drawings for inspiration.

I typically start in Procreate with a canvas size of 3300px x 4200px or 11” x 14” with a DPI of 300.

I put my reference in the corner of the canvas (in this case it’s a screenshot from the movie She’s the Man) and I start my rough sketch (emphasis on rough). Sketching is probably the longest part in my drawing process because I’m focusing on expression, composition, proportions, etc. This usually has about two to three passes before I move on.

Then I lower the opacity of the sketch and clean it up with some lineart on a new layer. Lineart doesn’t play a huge part in my style, but I still like to play around with line weight. Since I knew this was going to be a fully rendered piece, I didn’t spend much time on lines that I knew were going to be removed later in the process.

Underneath all of that, I use the skin tone and color the base of the character. I make sure that I color ever so slightly past the lineart, for reasons that will be important later. This part can be tedious, especially because I use a textured brush, so there are a lot of gaps that I fill in later.

Then using new layers with clipping masks, I start the flat colors. Nothing too crazy here.

I’ve made color palettes for characters and backgrounds that I typically draw, so this way it speeds up the process and maintains style consistency. If I need a color that I don’t normally use, I’ll just play around with the colors until I find something that fits well with everything else.

Next, on a multiply layer, I add some basic shading (with the skin tone color) and blush (with an orange-pink color). I also move onto the background. Some are more complex than others. If I’m going for a more cinematic look, I’ll fill the background in with some basic shapes and blur it slightly. Thankfully the background was pretty simple in this reference.

I start checking proportions now that everything has basic colors. Then I duplicate my lineart layer and change it to a pinkish-red and put it on multiply mode and turn down the opacity. This is why the base color layer needs to line up with the lineart, otherwise there’d just be gaps underneath. Instead of erasing my black lineart layer, I put a mask on it and just keep the eyes and eyebrows.

Then I start working on the shading and hair, which is an entire process in itself. Maybe I’ll make a tutorial on that one day 😅

I also use some vivid light and soft light layers and put in some subtle colors for extra pizzazz.



Then I add a hard light layer to the eyes for that glossy look and on a normal layer add some white details just to make some things pop more (like the nose, lips, eyes, sometimes hair, etc.)

I did make an eye tutorial a while back, but my process is still the same!

Lastly, I spend a lot of time playing with different blending modes (multiply, add, soft light, vivid light layers) and really focus on the lighting. I used to focus on adding a lot more details and make the coloring more realistic, but I found that the more simplistic coloring was easier for me to do and fit my style better. Sometimes I still tend to go too far with the details and realize that it looks better when I tone it down a bit.

That’s pretty much it! Let me know if you have any questions! Hope this helps. Have fun making art!

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 4

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st.

Folder with screenshots and big compilation google doc is here. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here.

1608

Q: Man crush, honestly, do you think that West Lake Vinegar Fish is delicious? Can you finish a plate of Vinegar Fish from Louwailou by yourself?

A: Actually, I really can’t. At most, I can eat two bites. But I’ve heard that they’ve improved their recipe lately and now it’s very delicious.

1609

Q: Shu, how long do you spend online from day to night? Your mental state is great. (T/N: “great” as in “wow what a mental state!”) A: I actually have too many things to write but well, I’m a liuliang celebrity, aren’t I?

1609

Q: The unbeatable, most handsome man crush in the universe, may I ask if Wu Xie would get caught by Xiaoge and Pangzi for sneakily buying game currency in LOL so he can buy skins? A: You can’t skimp on skins no matter how poor you are. Everyone understands this.

1611

Q: Sanshu, you have written about so many places in China, have you considered letting the Iron Triangle go tomb robbing overseas? A: I’ve written a movie script previously. The three of them were kidnapped and brought inside a pyramid. I was prepared to direct it myself but there was an Ebola outbreak right when the filming site in West Sahara finished construction.

1611

Q: I’ll post this again. Lei, can you invite the original singer to perform Three Days of Silence next year? People go to the bathroom three times (T/N: this is the proverb meaning to visit a place persistently until you get the result you want), why don't you go to the bathroom three hundred times. After all, there’s still more than 300 days till the next 817.

A: I visit once per day? Won’t it make me look like a loan shark?

1613

Q: When will this Q&A end?

A: It won’t end. I will answer at any time.

1613

Q: Shu, you’ve previously said that you’ll slowly delete the drafts on your public account. Can you not delete them? I really like to read the drafts over and over again.

A: There isn’t enough space. There’s too many [drafts]. Even if I don’t delete them, you can’t find them either.

1615

Q: If Zhang Qiling could only say one sentence to Wu Xie in this lifetime, what would he say?

A: I can only say one sentence to you in this lifetime, go get paper and pencil, I’m going to start saying this sentence and try my best to not stop and tell you everything that I can say, don’t interrupt me, let’s see how long I can make this sentence, now listen up, Wu Xie, my plan is goes like this bla bla bla bla bla—

1616

Q: Do you think that you can write better than you have previously? Or has that best feeling stage passed? A: I can go back [to that state], but I will go insane. Once I go insane, I will hurt everyone, including you all.

1618

Q: Shu, I think you wrote the best when you were in the psychiatry hospital. Can you trouble yourself and fulfill us and go there again? A: Here comes the crazy guy.

1620

Q: I’m praying for Shu to get Tianshou today and update nonstop.

A: Once the Tianshou ends, there’s a great probability that I will go to Liuheta (T/N: a culture park in Hangzhou, West Lake area) and run around naked.

1623

Q: What were the first impressions Zhang Qiling and Wu Xie had of each other?

A: Wu: Wah, it’s a show off. Zhang: Looks like there’s a layman on the team.

1624

Q: Man crush, if you were to choose a birthplace in DMBJ, would you choose the Golmud Sanatorium or the Bronze Gate?

A: Are these birth places? What is my mom thinking?

1629

Q: Which one do you like more; going to work or going to jail? Can you write while you’re in jail or write while you’re at work?

A: What’s the difference?

1631

Q: Shu, what do you think ZHH means to you?

A: I was suffering a lot when I wrote ZHH. It was before my mental breakdown. I went crazy after finishing it.

60 questions in! /laid flat on the ground. Only 60 questions in... and the list keeps getting longer. On one hand, I kinda regret spacing these out so much but on the other hand... I need something to fill my days between the ZHH updates. Maybe I'll do double updates tomorrow! Who Knows!

[pics-and-fanfics]

Wassup bbg

I bring numbers for your asks🤲. (You absolutely do not have to answer them all lol)

3 5 12 14 15 19 20 32 38 39

I go to look at the post bc I screenshoted it and my draft disappeared 😭 I’m gonna cry if this happens again

3. I actually have 4 movies and they are: The Princess Bride, Legally Blonde, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Jumanji (the original one from last century (I don’t remember the year unfortunately))

5. I got bored. My parents bought my phone so I have to follow their rules and that means no social media and this was as close as I could get. Also I saw a lot of tumblr screenshots on Pinterest and wanted to see the hype

12. Make sure you take care of your mental health, even if it means cutting out “friends”. You’ll be better off for it. Trust me, I know. Also, probably don’t have kids

14. Try new things. It’s stupid, but I know what I like, and what if I try the new thing and I don’t like it or it’s something that turns out to be bad for me?

15. My friends. “Home” is where I go when I’m tired and just want to chill. Home is where I go when I’m feeling sad or just got great news and want to share it. My friends are my true home

19. It’s either getting to see my friends (during the school year) or getting to chill and relax, read or write or play video games. Really, it’s just when I can relax and enjoy myself, either with friends or alone.

20. The sound the cicadas make during spring and summer while I’m falling asleep. The beautiful awe inspiring stars. How the moon makes everything practically glow after it rains.

32. On my phone? Over 300. On my laptop? Maybe around 12?

38. Uhhhh either “What the World Needs” from the Ride the Cyclone musical or “Concertina Ballerina” by Alternative Radio (thank god for friends that like different music)

39. This dude (I’m not trying to spell his name) Why? HES THE BEST CAT DAD EVER AND HIS CAT IS SO ADORABLE SHES SO BABIE!!!

Damn this is long lol

Thank you this was so much fun! But damn I had to restart like twice bc of notifications popping up in tumblr as soon as I switched out of the app 😭

[corrialaena]

So, I relooked and I accidentally bought lost cherry not cherry smoke. So. I bought cherry smoke too lol. I am broke. But I also got more clothes and accessories. I just known I won't feel okay until I can make this change.

And I have decided to try to apply for financial aid next 8 weeks for school. That way. If it does cover my classes I could get money back from the state. And that'd be really helpful. If not I can always so the paperwork with my step mom and get classes for free.

So this week I will apply for financial aid to get in nice and early. Hopefully it all works out.

And I hope the things I got come in nicely. I'll post some screenshots of what I got in a separate post.

I haven't lost any weight since new years. I just want to lose like. 20 more lbs? Maybe 30? I just want to be smaller you know? I am worried my new clothes will start to not fit though. But if that happens then I get to buy new ones that do. And I could always learn to hem clothes and take in sides. That'd really be useful actually.

I want to get an actual agenda to write everything down. I feel like if I felt more organized I'd be able to do more without immense overwhelm. So that'll be next to buy. But I literally got paid Wed and it's Saturday and I have less than $30 left.

However, I did pay my responsibilities first. Phone bill is paid, I have saved my bank bill (which I need to go to the bank and change so I don't have to pay so much), my gas tank is full, I have a new pen and enough money for ciggies. Then I bought myself a bunch of extra stuff including a perfume worth at least $300 at its cheapest. So I won't complain.

I will just keep going to work. No more call offs. And today proved to me that I can do it. I got less than 3 hours of sleep and still made it to work in shitty road conditions this morning. I can do it again. You only get to live extravagantly when you work your ass off. So goodbye ass.

So, to do list:

Apply for financial aid- tues.1.16.24

Go fix bank account- tues.1.16.24

Buy agenda- wed.1.24.24

Buy pals bday movie ticket- fri.1.19.24

Track weight loss goals

[crimsoncityhq]

you know what time it is ! open your inboxes and load up your question, because ask night starts NOW until 7:00 p.m. EST tomorrow evening ! 

this ask night, though, will be a little different—as of tonight, SATURDAY, APRIL 24, we’re rolling out a brand-new ooc game you can play just by hitting ask limit. we’re enacting a points system, meant to award players who complete tasks as they write. each task will earn you a different number of points, and you can turn those points in to get a prize or level your character up to the next tier ( see tier levels here ). all you have to do is complete a task and let the main know what you’ve completed, and points will be added to your account. you can keep track of those points by yourself with a points page added to your blog or however you like. the main will also keep a tally. 

this game is not meant to affect the overarching development of your character, and it is optional to play. it is simply meant to encourage new plots and give more depth to characters’ positions in chicago. 

as for the tier levels, characters/current players will be grandfathered in, so please let us know what tiers you feel your character is best suited for. No character can be placed above The Secret tier, except for head family characters who have the option to go as high as The Name tier. Choose the tier appropriate for your character, let the main know, and points will be awarded to your characters’ accounts !

Feel free to shoot a message to the main if you hit ask limit tonight, and points will be added to your characters’ account. ALSO, if you could, please send a 2-3 sentence blurb about your character to the main so it can be added to the /chartiers page !

you can see the rules of the points system under the cut or on the main. if you have any questions, the admins’ inboxes are open !

PLEASE LIKE THIS SO WE KNOW YOU’VE READ !

Crimson will be introducing a point system. Members will be responsible for tracking their own, and submitting the proof along with their withdraw of points to the main.  Here are the factors to learn points & what you can use your points towards !  The point system isn’t mandatory by any means, we just hope this will motivate people to be inclusive & work with one another. Keep in mind that rules will need to be followed. If this leads to any sort of bubble behavior, you will be reprimanded.

People on hiatus will not lose points, but they will not gain points unless they do something listed below on a semi hiatus status.

To claim your reward after you have received enough points to do so please fill out the below and submit it to main:

Character Name: Current Points: Points being deducted: Reward wanted: How did you earn your points? ( ex: I hit ask limit three times/I finished a thread )

__

How to earn points

Everyone

join us (50 points)

get 50 points for creating a character.

happy anniversary! (250 points)

get 250 points on your one year anniversary.

open starters (5 points)

every reply to an open starter earns 5 points

every open starter ( in accordance with starter rule ) earns 5 points

total opportunity for 15+ points here ( ex: 2 replied starters, 1 open )

open starter blasts (10 points)

3+ starters posted in one sitting ( in accordance with starter rule )

ask limit (5 points)

hit ask limit, earn 5 points ( screenshot proof will need to be sent to main if you record this )

game/movie night participation (5 points)

5 points just for havin’ fun

birthdays (15 points)

15 points just for existing

finished threads (15 points)

finish a thread and earn 15 points

finished tasks

get 10 points for completing a task

Crime Family Affiliated Characters

event participation

Actively participate in an event where your crime family gets the win ( 40 points )

Actively participate in an event where your crime family is losing ( 30 points )

criminal task

pick an affiliated plot slot & complete thread during events ( 40 points )

complete a task from a leader ( 20 points )

complete an assassination with help ( 20 points ) or without help ( 15 points )

complete an affiliated group thread with 3 or more people (80 points)

conflict threads with the enemy ( 20 bonus )

trade thread with a civilian ( 15 points )

medic

bring an affiliated member back to life after flatline ( 40 points )

thread w/medical staff at a hospital while trying to steal supplies ( 25 points)

perform emergency surgery ( 20 points )

lawyer

bail a muse out of jail ( 40 points )

pay off the judge or another lawyer ( 25 points )

obtain new case ( 20 points )

Optional Civilian Paths ( At 600 the crime family would be open to try to initiate the civilian character - or persuade them to join the crime family )

help a gang dispose of a body ( 60 affiliate points )

keep secrets for a gang  (25 affiliate points )

contribute to a gang through a thread ( 20 affiliate points )

Rewards/Cash Outs

Everyone

new location ( named for your character or inspired by your character ) - 500 points

skip activity check - 300 points

choice of movie/game night - 200 points

first pick of plot slots -150 points

black market transaction ( buying something that is currently on trade lock through the gangs ) - 10 points

Tier Rank Ups

novice to transparent: 100 points

transparent to face: 250 points

face to silhouette: 400 points

silhouette to mystery: 700 points

mystery to secret: 1000 to obtain

secret to name: 1600 to obtain

name to affiliated: 3000 to obtain

affiliated to occupation custom: 5000 to obtain

occupation custom to legend: 10,000 to obtain, cost 2,000 to remain a legend every 2 months

Law Enforcement

go undercover: 1,500 points

promotion: 1,000  points

arrest a known criminal ( playable character ): 600 points

Crime Affiliated

keeping a leadership position: 2,000 points

promotion: 1,000  points

muse vacation: 600 points

special solo mission from a crime boss within the hierarchy  - 50

[diocletianscabbagefarm]

Napoleon as portrayed in the movie really does come across as what it'd look like if the scriptwriter's briefing was 'give me an incel version of Napoleon'. A moody, insecure, petulant, sometimes violent little man who's cringe with women, who is only rarely the driving force in any scene he's in and most of the time has someone else tell him what to do (such as being included in the plan to overthrow the Directory, Talleyrand suggesting he should crown himself, and his mother ordering him to make a random girl pregnant to prove his... little soldiers can swim).

On the subject of spectacle, one of the incredibly disappointing aspects of the movie in my view is that the visuals are actually... not terribly impressive at all? Scott had 200-300 extras, and it really, really shows. The entire Waterloo sequence very obviously felt like 300 folks in a field, with flagpoles and tents put behind some (inaccurate) trenches to prevent you from seeing a vast expanse of empty nothing behind the dispiritingly one-man-deep lines of infantry, or in perhaps a shot or two there are some digitally duplicated formations of the ones in the foreground extending into the background. The battle of the Pyramids lasts barely any longer than it does in the trailer (maybe 40-50 seconds) as does the 'battle of Borodino' (also 40-50 seconds, where Napoleon is suddenly wearing his old uniform from the start of the movie again because it's clearly footage intended for an Italian battle scene but with a dark blue filter, and he is at the head of a frontal cavalry charge???) The battle of Austerlitz is maybe a couple minutes and has arguably some of the better shots in the movie, but once the actual fighting begins it instantly devolves into the finest Hollywood tradition of 'completely incomprehensible muddle'. And even here the battle looks like there are maybe a couple thousand digital soldiers, not 70.000+.

Welcome to arctic Norwa- psych, it's Czechia, Austerlitz!

Featuring 100 French tents and a farmhouse versus maybe a few thousand Austrians/Russians

To a large extent the battle scenes are an afterthought in the movie, except for the obligatory Waterloo fetish, and it feels like they tried to cram 2/3rds of a Josephine movie and 1/3rd of a Napoleonic war movie together.

When I talk about the disappointing battle scenes, well, I've already talked about them here a few weeks ago in a screenshot post, but to reiterate, here are some shots I could find from the 2023 Waterloo scene:

Not a skirmisher line, but the entirety of the French infantry wave.

The British position is the depth of one WW1 trenchline, plus cannons behind them. The French (in real life about 70.000 soldiers) are so few that in some shots they aren't even visible on the screen in lower quality screengrabs.

The moneyshot

The British position from front to camp is literally like 20 meters deep, with the tents behind it to make it feel like there's more to see than an empty horizon. The entire sequence feels like it might've been shot on a studio backlot with greenscreen.

Just about the only decent-looking shot I could find in the entire sequence. 5 seconds after this it's a rugby scrum of course, but that's cinema for you.

And then you look at just about any shot from the 1970s Waterloo movie, it's night and day (almost literally, I get a cold just from the blue filter in the 2023 version), with massed formations of troops dozens of ranks deep filling the horizon. Also just appreciate the colorful uniforms!

@bundifranco (I can't seem to tag you automatically so I hope you'll see this)

The only coherent explanation of this movie is Ridley Scott trying to create a character assassination on purpose. And I mean that quite earnestly. It is the only way in which a myriad of choices make any kind of thematic sense.

From the way Phoenix plays Napoleon as a tired horny guy with a negative charisma stat and his dysfunctional relationship with Josephine - dramatized to be extra dysfunctional, such as him slapping her in the face during divorce proceedings - is employed to inform several of his military/political decisions (like abandoning Egypt or returning from Elba), to leaving out or hugely downplaying Napoleon's most brilliant campaigns ("Italy surrendered without a fight" 1796-97 and "Error 404 France" 1814), creating incomprehensible muddles with little finesse beyond 'charge!' from the battles he couldn't avoid to show, and odd text cards inconsistently applied to show the casualties of the Wars of the Coalition in the most unfavorable light, including one at the end that seems more fitting as a solemn reminder at the end of a WW2 movie, all I've learned from this movie is that Ridley Scott just * shakes fist * really hates old Boney.

In this light the only decision that makes no sense is that he left out a scene to show the British intercepting some of his letters to Josephine, which they then published to embarrass him. Of course there's still the 4+ hour cut that'll be released on Apple tv, so if there's actually a scene of that in there, you heard it here first.

I feel like there are perfectly valid ways in which you can make a movie with a negative characterization of Napoleon, there's plenty to draw from, but this one was just so uncharitable you'd think they recently rediscovered the will of a British satirist from 1800 along with a bag of 400 million dollars, requesting this movie be made.

[mz-elysium]

Wow. That was a lot longer than I planned. Do we even do comic sans wip posts anymore? It it cool? Am I cool? 

Photo ID below the cut because this is already way too fucking long of a post. And this ID, bc of it, is so so long.

Photo ID: a 13 slide Comic Sans font powerpoint about an original WIP. All slides but the first are white, black text, all font being Comic Sans to follow the meme.

Slide 1: black background, white text. Titled with red shadow: The City of Fallen Angels: (2) Hitaeth. Definition below: hiraeth: homesickness or nostalgia, an earnest longing for an idealised past, or a sense of regret. Around this title are a bunch of floating descriptors about the WIP: vampires, gothic-punk, regrets vs forgiveness, dark urban fantasy, historical 2003, 4 POVs, secrets, political intrigue, slice of life, compassion vs selfishness, vampires playing Game of Thrones, grimdark and also hopepunk. A Vampire the Masquerade canon divergent original novel.

Slide 2: Worldbuilding, about the Vampire the Masquerade world. Titled: The canon sects but like a little more nuanced. Three columns of bullet points follow. 

The first is the Camarilla. 

neo-feudal lords and princes

rule most of the world

want to rule the rest of it

scheming, old elders who don’t give a shit about anyone else

will kill your family to make a point

BUT ALSO.

stable domains; due process

clan culture, history, tradition

connected to wider vampire society

play their game and you can live as a peaceful peasant (mostly)

The second column is the Anarchs.

rebellious neonates/ancillae

in their Free States, there’s opportunity for power and to live your own life

neonates can actually own land??

ALSO

literal anarchy

no real oversight or leadership

can and will be killed by another gang

“if you can hold it, you can have it”

Third column is the Sabbat

worship Caine as the First Murderer (first vampire)

take “vampire” too literally

inhuman monsters

war cult readying for Armageddon

ALSO

profoundly religious

strict code of honour

accept their inhumanity (no angst)

tight-knit family-like packs

heroes/crusaders for their ppl

Slide 3: Titled: Have a shitty map. A Google map screenshot of Central Los Angeles, with highlighted sections in different colours, clearly done in Paint by a child. Seven sections are highlighted, explained on the next slide.

Slide 4: The lands are divided by the sect who control it.

Anarchs:

Angels Wasteland: remains of the #peaceful Barony of Angels. With Salvador Garcia’s death, it’s a shitshow chaotic warzone. 

Tinseltown: Isaac Abrams, movie baron, just wants to be left alone.

East LA: ruled by loyalists of the Old Guard Anarchs, who are all dead/gone. Sabbat from further east are smelling weakness.

Downtown: technically “no baron” but also nines is baron. Typical Anarchs, shooting each other, living rough, living free. OR ARE THEY???

Camarilla:

The Valley: a praxis backed by legendary elders, who are propelled by faceless masters, using unwilling Prince Barty Vaughn as a pawn

Westside: greedy and ambitious LaCroix goes “hmm. la looks like shit. probably wanna get in on that” and calls up his contact, Therese Voerman and says “yo. u got a barony, huh? wanna be my seneschal?”

“Independent”

Silver Lake: a desperate grab by Monroe and co to build their own “utopia” … sorta like the Anarchs 60yrs ago… and look how THAT went. Monroe ate the last Old Guard Anarch.

Slide 5: Titled: Monroe’s POV, with a subtitle of The Captain. On the left, a photo of half of a man’s face in shadow. He has dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and a hard expression. Bullet points describe him as Matthew Monroe, Clan Ventrue, Embraced 1873, Humanity 5, age 28. On the right, a series of bullets describe his POV’s story.

this is a dude drowning in an ocean of Problems and his catchphrase is “I’ll figure it out”

he owes a life debt to the enigmatic powerful archon in the Valley (Jan Pieterzoon), who seems to respect/honour him more than most of LA.

he used to be besties with the Valley Prince (Barty Vaughn), who he can’t trust but seems? the same?

he turned his ghoul and secret love into a vampire (Hawthorne), against her wishes, and now she hates him. monroe: u kno what? that’s fair.

Silver Lake is held together with duct tape. monroe’s right hand (Ashley Swan) is a nightmare and untrustworthy. his people try to kill each other.

he’s got a lot of unresolved trauma/grief/abuse/anger and vampires sort of have “The Beast”, a spirit that haunts them with evil

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 6: Titled: Monroe’s supporting characters. Four characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a photo of a very pale man with purple eyes and a lock of ice blonde hair. Ashley Swan, the Thorn, Clan Toreador. Monstrously cruel, sarcastic, hedonistic, aggressive, sadistic, can’t be trusted, doesn’t wear shirts. Bisexual transman.

Second, a photo of a dour woman with dark hair. Audrey Hawthorne, the Lovechilde, Clan Ventrue. Blinded by the Embrace, furious, frustrated, grieving, snarky, over accomplished, creative, passionate.

Third, a man in a black suit looking over a ballroom with a crystal chandelier. Jan Pieterzoon, the Kingmaker, Clan Ventrue. 300 year old, archon, elder, sire is Camarilla big-shot, dignified, mysterious, chessmaster, honourable, elite.

Fourth, a man in a dress shirt, sleeve rolled up, hand extended with a cigarette and bloody palm. Barty Vaughn, the Valley Prince, Clan Ventrue. Former Anarch, Prince of San Francisco, now reluctant Prince of LA. Smokes like a chimney, lives to fuck Tremere and have fun.

Slide 7: Titled: Zari’s POV, with a subtitle of The Black Rose. On the left, a photo of a beaming dark-skinned Black woman with bouncy coily black hair. Bullet points describe her as Zari Adeyemi-Swan, Clan Toreador, Embraced 1973, Humanity 6, age 27. On the right, a series of bullets describe her POV’s story.

life sucks, it’s cruel, and there’s no point thinking on the past, even when the past comes to haunt you

she fled her foster sire and once-lover (Ashley Swan) for his cruelty to others, but now he offers maybe?genuine? amends.

thirty years ago, she left her human children. her daughter (Aisha Adeyemi) has been Embraced and brings bad news

her main way of #coping is working and distracting herself. she throws herself to infiltrate the Westside Camarilla court (Sebastian LaCroix), against all good advice.

soon after she arrives, she finds herself having a secret admirer (Mercurio), who reminds her how precious it is to be loved, held, and cared for — but they need to overcome their own instincts to accept what they could have

The Voerman sisters are in the thick of it all, making perfect cautionary allies and, if she can overcome her preconceptions, friends.

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 8: Titled: Zari’s supporting characters. Four characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a photo of a white man wearing mirrored sunglasses in front of orange-pink neon. It casts his face and smile eerily. Ashley Swan, the Foster Sire, Clan Toreador, monstrously cruel, charismatic, loyal, thorough, too clever, pleasurable. Bi transman.

Second, a photo of a white man in a suit, adjusting his cuffs. Sebastian LaCroix, the Westside Prince, Clan Ventrue, opportunistic benefactor, greedy, ambitious, petulant, ruthless, degrading.

Third, a white man in a paisley shirt, gold necklaces, putting a hand to a tattooed and exposed chest. Mercurio, the Admirer, LaCroix’s Ghoul, resourceful, sweet, empathetic, capable, romantic, salt of the earth, former Mafia hitman.

Fourth, a white woman in a black suit with delicate gold jewelry. The Voermans, the Mirrored Sisters, Clan Malkavian; one is brutal, calculating, patient, reckless, the other is seductive, fun-loving, innovative, insightful.

Slide 9: Titled: Charlie’s POV, with a subtitle of The Moonchilde. In small text, a line says “a.k.a. Me processing grief over my mother #coping. On the left, a photo of a sad-faced white woman with freckles, black eyeliner, and frizzy brown curls. Bullet points describe her as Charlie Bradley, Clan Malkavian, Embraced 2003, Humanity 8, age 20, lesbian. On the right, a series of bullets describe her POV’s story.

life is getting back to normal? well, “new normal”

as a new adult, she has a good ol’ fashioned “start of life” crisis: who am I? where do I fit in? complicated by her mother’s death a year ago. what sort of woman am I? how does this figure into my attraction to women?

maybe. maybe. maybe monroe is cold and distant and ruling a vampire kingdom, but he wants to look after me. maybe i should let him.

also, hey, you (Jesse Harper) get it. and you’re hurting. let me help, let me be your soft place to land. wow, okay, this is kissing.

she didn’t mean to ruin her sire’s (Rhys Wilson) life. but, she did. she killed his mentor. SHHH! secret! she feel bad. maybe friends? uh, okay, weirdo. maybe D&D.

she’s learning to deal with feeding on scumbags and giving what people got coming to them. and the Cobweb, supernatural psychosis

WHY ARE VAMPIRES LIKE THIS? WHY CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? FFS

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 10: Titled: Charlie’s supporting characters. Three characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a white man in the middle of screaming, his head swaying back and forth so it looks like he has three heads. Rhys Wilson, the Sire, Clan Malkavian, weirdo, prime D&D fanatic and DM, just wants friends, and vengeance, pulls pranks to teach lessons. Gay.

Second, a very strong white woman with her arms crossed, a tattoo on one, and a t-shirt that is obscured but clearly says “The future is female”. Jesse Harper, the Darkness, Clan Lasombra, former vampire hunter, reluctant vampire, brooding, mysterious, sullen, black trench coat, buff as fuck, brave. Lesbian.

Third, a pair of clasped hands, male over female. Monroe, the Stepsire, Clan Ventrue, fucking old, inhuman, kills too easily, sincere, honourable, intense, gives good advice but really should shut his mouth hole.

Slide 11: Titled: Jack’s POV, with a subtitle of The Lone Wolf. On the left, a photo of a sad-faced strong Chinese man with a shaggy and tufted mullet. Bullet points describe him as Jack Shen, Clan Gangrel, Embraced 1955, Humanity 7, age 25, gay. On the right, a series of bullets describe his POV’s story.

why does he always end up alone? people leave, people die, people drift and change, but the good times were worth it

he’s always had a rocky relationship with his lover (Ryuko Saito), but now the dumbass has found a cult promising power.

he hasn’t lost him. he hasn’t. him and ryu just take time apart sometimes. but it’s been a long fucking while. and jack isn’t sure who he is alone anymore. a new human friend (Dustin Cohen), working at his animal hospital gives new life.

his former best friend (Damsel) has dove deep into Downtown and managing as Nines’ lieutenant, bringing him more and more dirty work to clean up

monroe relies on him to reign in the chaos of vampires trying to live without killing each other.

and oh yeah, LA is about to explode

Slide 12: Titled: Jack’s supporting characters. Three characters, each of them have a photo, a title, and brief run-on description.

First, a young white woman with dyed fire-engine red hair and an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Damsel, the Lieutenant, Clan Brujah, naive, brash, physical, loyal, loud-mouthed, smart.

Second, a skinny man in an ill-fitting Hawaiian shirt and jeans. Ryuko Saito, the Orphan, Mage, power-hungry, desperate, proud, ruthless, loving, isolated, crushingly lonely, gremlin, old and chronic pain, hides and “treats” it with magic.

Third, a white hand extending a hummingbird to fly free. Dustin Cohen, the Receptionist, Human, understanding, the best of Good Dudes, empathetic, kinda lame outsider

Slide 13: Titled: also. A moodboard on the right side includes two weeping stone angels, one at sunset, one in darkness between a tarnished and broken silver crown; a gas station in LA as seen through a rainy car window; grim-looking downtown city buildings; and a sidewalk curb with neon lights reflecting off a puddle and a plastic bag of takeout garbage strewn across.

On the left, bullet points follow.

about 100 million other characters. I legit have a spreadsheet

Everyone is capable of evil

Sins of the sire (father)

Never too late to start being a good person

Takes place  about 6 months before Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines

At least one more novel in the works

Subheading, 22/55 chapters written. Gonna start posting September 28.

End ID.

[a-s-levynn]

I made a separete post because it is long as it is, also i don’t want to pick from who’s tag should i reblog it so here it is anyway.  Thank you so much @dreamsarelikedragonflies @tales-of-hisirdoux​ @nikibogwater​  for the tag! <3 I’m actually still surprised that people tag me in these because i’m probably the least interesting person on this site. So it means a lot! TmT <3

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

tagging: oh man there isn’t going to be 20 for sure... NO PRESSURE TAGS, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to, no hard feelings: @bored-already @spellcasterdouxie @littlerainsworld @isawhisperer @echigo825 and anyone and everyone who follows me can consider themselfs tagged and feel free to refer me as someone who tagged you if you want to jump on this train!

name/nickname: for gaming: Daster for the last couple of years, and here Levynn seems to get picked up (well no surprise there given my url)

gender: female on paper, but i really could not care less

star sign: saggitarius

height: around 5′3″

time: 23:06

birthday: in november

favorite bands: Slipknot, Bullet for my Valentine, Stone Sour, Thousand Watt Stare, Pretty Reckless, Nirvana, 30stm, Ice Nine Kills etc.. i really don’t have an absolute favourite.. maybe Slipknot but it depends on my mood really

favorite solo artists: Corey Taylor, Christian Martucci, Sugizo, Andrey Vinogradov and many others

song stuck in my head: Hunger by The Score

last movie: Mindgamers

last show: Prodigal Son

when did i make this blog: in 2008, but i’m too lazy to look up the exact date

what i post: whatever my brainrot decides to fancy at the given moment. Also ToA screenshots until i run out of the episodes

last thing i googled: Axeman of New Orleans (i just had to fact check on something)

other blogs: @skyholdlibrary (i’m actually going to make content on this again but i didn’t really had enough time but soon!)  @angryedgelord (this one is on indefinite hiatus because of reasons) and @dasterplayswow (but i don’t really have the energy to keep this one up)

do i get asks: sometime, and they are all greately cherished!

why i chose my url: because i have this ever evolving OC who lives rendt free in my head for ca. two decades, and i like the name

following: 1666 (don’t judge me, i never clean out the inactive blogs)

followers: 528 (but i’m sure around 300 probably are inactive or bots)

average hours of sleep: 3-5 on good days

lucky number: i want it to be 32 but it’s 8

instruments: i dabbled in bass guitar, i had a drumset sold from under my ass so i almost learned that. In middleschool i had to learn to play on a recorder (music specific class, yey! no i can’t sing well, i had a good rythm sense)

what am i wearing rn: black sleeveless shirt, dark grey hoodie, dark grey sweatpants, a black sock with white x-es and a darkgrey-lightgray striped one

dream trip: all over the world really. but i want to be on an old tall ship also ride a camel through the desert

favorite food: suvlaki in the wrap version (which is not the proper way but the ultimat streetfood way but i like it)

nationality: please don’t. some of you know and that’s fine but i’m not proud of it

favorite song: currently In my bones by The Score but i’m definitely going to say something else tomorrow because it solely depends on my mood

last book read: The Renegade by Dale Avery

top three fictional universes: Riyria, Mass Effect and 

favorite color: probably black but i love me all the colours

[cmescapade]

hey, cement ✨🚀 always wanted to ask how do you go about organising your stories, if it's not a secret? how do you plan all the scenes, dialogue, etc.? what kind of media inspires you?

heyoo 👋

It’s no secret, I’m an open book made of... cement...?

I primarily use OneNote to organize my thoughts, along with a basic notebook I jot things down in for brainstorming. Here’s what my OneNote tab for Remember Me Until Tomorrow looks like:

...Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess on the actual pages, but lmao 

I blocked off potential spoilers... Though it’s not hard to figure out what it all is 🔫 

For all my stories, I tend to keep it under their old titles, so “Remember Me Until Tomorrow” is categorized as “FBTS/From Beyond the Stars” in my original word documents, which leads into my answer for scene planning:

I typically write everything from start and finish on a word document, but never much of the in-between so I would have more freedom. While for White Lies and Half Truths I have each chapter saved separately (since my later ones are massive), Remember Me Until Tomorrow is written out completely. The only things I have to do is edit my text to replace my placeholder names, omit scenes and take screenshots, which is my bane whenever I’m not in the mood 😔

I have a massive list of omitted chapter scenes as seen from my cropped screencap above... I usually cut down chapters with scenes I consider irrelevant in order to speed things up a bit from my original document. Sure I could keep 300 words of banter in a ~25k chapter, but I’ve been told my chapters are too long to read when using The Sims as a platform so here come the scissors ✂ and we snip it down to like ~3k ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sometimes I’ll reuse a part I deleted in another chapter if I actually need the context, but otherwise it’s lost in space ✨

I don’t really do big outlines since I find it restraining to my creativity (yes this is an excuse for me to let my brain vomit all over the page at 3am and delete my regrets 5 hours later)  Instead, I keep a timeline for significant events that serve as a reminder to write in detail to lead up to that event. Minimalistic, but it works best for someone like me who gets bored of systematic order lmao

For dialogue, I try and figure out how a character would react in a specific situation. I love it when I read varied characters, and I want to have the same variety in my own writing. Every other day I’d do personal exercises where I’d write out a short AU with situations like “X & Y are trapped in an elevator” or “X just found a dead body,” that kind of thing. ...Yeah, I write a lot in my free time, and yes it is flaming hot garbage No I will not be posting any of it, for it will stay in the trashbin where it belongs

Inspiration wise, I love horror movies--the kind of imagination that goes into a super/natural monster and the context in which they’re born is interesting to me. The reasons why a murderer’s MO would be whatever it is, why a non-human creature would be prowling around, etc. I like analyzing book characters to try and sympathize with their thinking, which puts me in a good headspace to write someone I find difficult writing.

Oof, this was a long answer Thank you for the ask! 💕💕💕👽 

[me-a-hopeless-romantic]

Girls like her

(Author’s note: this is my first story in a while and I’m a bit rusty but I’ll get better as the next chapters come out, I hope this is good.-Gabi)

“Hi it’s me Y/N  and I’ve decided to start a youtube channel, It’s not going to be anything special just me and my friends hanging out.” I stare behind the camera and I see Emma, Ethan, and James sitting behind the camera giggling at me. I roll my eyes playfully and I continue talking. “Well, I hope you guys enjoy my sporadic and random vlogs, See y'all later in the video I guess.” I turn off the camera completely. I look at Ethan. “Grayson’s not coming?” Ethan shrugs and gives me an ‘i’ll tell you later look’ I nod in understanding.  Emma looks between us and says “We better get going then, we only have one hour until golden hour and we are riding bikes because you insisted we get it for the ‘aesthetic’ of the video.” James rolls his eyes and drags Emma to get their bikes leaving me and Ethan alone.

He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, I speak first. “ I get he doesn’t like me or whatever is it something I said because I’ll apologize or something-” He sighs again this time staring at my face with a slightly frustrated look. “It’s a really stupid reason and I don’t want to be rude. Just know the rest of us don’t feel the same he’s just being an ass clown.” My heart sinks, I can already tell what he’s gonna say. Tears burned at the back of my eyes. I frown “What am I not skinny enough to be in his presence or am I just too unpleasant to be around?”  Ethan pulls me into a strong hug. “ He’s being super childish and I know he’ll come around eventually because he’ll see what an amazing girl you are. Come on Y/N don’t get all mushy on me now.” I hug back feeling slightly better about this. “I won’t let him get me down about this, now let's go shred these streets.” Ethan pulls back and laughs at me. “Never say that again.”  I snicker as we walk out to where the bicycles are and I hop on. I strap the go pro on to the front of my f/c beach bike as the four of us cruise down the street. The wind is flowing through my hair, as the sun begins to set. We bike around blasting music until it gets dark, It’s an amazing night.

We all bike back to my house and I film a simple outro with all of them. One by one they leave until Ethan is the only one left. Grayson is still out doing errands so we end up watching a movie until he gets here to pick up Ethan. Ethan falls asleep sometime during an episode of the twilight zone. I finish the episode sitting alone in the dark with only the black and white tv show flickering on the television. I hear a knock on the door, I go to open the door.

“Who is it?” I hear a scoff. “Just open the door.” I open the door to see a disgruntled Grayson, he looks me up and down with cold eyes. He pushes past me and goes over to the couch, Ethan curled up on top of it softly snoring. I glare at him who does he thinks he is coming into my house like that. He shakes his brother awake “Get up you log, it’s time to go.” Ethan sits up and stretches, he catches me standing beside the door. I wrap my arms around myself as Ethan grabs his things. Grayson rigidly standing close by watching him pick up his stuff. When Ethan finishes Grayson just shakes his head at me as he breezes past me out the door. Ethan groans and frowns at his brother. “Y/N I'm sorry he’s-.” I let out a shaky frustrated breath, I unwrap my arms and clench my fists. “I shouldn’t and I won’t let him get to me, You don’t have to take up for him Ethan. If he wants to be a jerk so be it.” I straighten up and we hug each other before he leaves. I whisper “Thanks for being such a sweetheart.” in his ear. He beams at me “Bye Y/N I’ll see you next week.” We pull apart because of a loud honk coming from Grayson in the car. Ethan rolls his eyes and leaves. I flip off the fucking asshole that is Grayson then I shut the door and take a deep breath. Grayson Dolan isn’t the first or last person to be rude over something so simple as my weight, he wouldn’t be the last either.

One month later

  “It’s Friday and we’re at this private beach to just live life. Enjoy us basically dicking around all day.” I place the Go pro on a towel and step back to where James, Emma, and Ethan are standing. I have a total of 5 videos on my channel and the others have only my voice in them because I was too scared to be in my videos but James, Ethan, and Emma all convinced me to buy a bathing suit for the video. So I did; it’s a f/c halter top one piece that I picked out. I’ve been too nervous to show my face because I wanted to stay a small channel. I only had 300 followers and none of them knew who James, Emma or Ethan were. It’s just me and my small following and I like it that way.

I usually ask them not to post videos or anything of me and there’s usually no issue. But after filming us just swimming around we go back on land for a second. Emma takes a video of me and James running across the beach after Ethan because he threw seaweed at us and posts it to her Instagram story without thinking. Emma puts her phone away, We all go back running into the ocean without a care in the world. After about another hour in the water; we all go back to the towels to dry off. My phone is buzzing rapidly and hot to the touch. I look at my phone screen in horror. I have hundreds of notifications and I’m getting more as time goes by. I open my phone to see what is giving me all these random comments.

“EMMA” I shout and look at her. Her face goes white, her arms are crossed across her chest. She gives me a sheepish smile. James comes over with his phone in hand “Why would you-” Ethan interrupts James “What is going on, Why am I being tagged in like 50 screenshots at once?” James gives Ethan a glare “Before I was interrupted I was going to say Why did Emma post that video on her story.” 

We all look to her, she’s dragging her foot in the sand. “ I just thought it was funny so I took a video but I kinda forgot about Y/N’s no filming rule...I’m really sorry I completely forgot.” I plop down on the sand. My head in my hands, this was going to be a mess. I could already feel all the unwanted attention on me. James slid down next to me, he placed a hand on my shaking back. “It’s gonna be okay in the long run, everyone will forget eventually.” 

I look up at him sadness and anger in my eyes. “This is just going to draw more unwanted attention, I just wanted to make and post cool videos with my friends, you know?” We all look between each other, we know this has changed the dynamic of our videos and I realize something else. I quickly whip out my phone and I scroll down and see who else has been tagged in the screenshots. Grayson Dolan.

[evenastar-blog]

Archery in the Lord of the Rings: The Hobbit

To repeat: This post is from the viewpoint of someone who is an archer, certified archery coach, and literature nerd. 

About archery: Archery at its bare basic is about consistency. “Tubing an arrow,” aka shooting a “Robin Hood,” is the ultimate goal of a target archer and occurs when your second shot is the exact. same. as the first shot, and splits the first arrow down the center. Archery is also, as Kisik Lee (the National Head Coach of the USA Archery Team) once said, about confronting your demons: you can not lie to yourself when shooting, especially with a recurve or longbow. Your target will reflect your mental state. A real life archery club we have at my archery range is the 300 Club, where you score 300 points out of 300. Yes, this is a thing, yes there are people who can do it, yes I know several, more than several actually. Yes, some of them did it with recurves and longbows.

Book version: 

Smaug is in. the. air. He is HUNDREDS of yards AWAY. COMPLETELY OUT OF REACH. He is being shot at by a ton of archers whose arrows are not hurting him because his body is covered in protective scale. He has a weak point: a small hollow on his left breast. Presumably this is the weakness every hunter knows: the spot right over the heart. On a 3D target, this spot is about the size of a fist. SO Smaug is in the air hundreds of yards above them swooping around setting fire to everything and the weak point is the size of a fist. This is an amazingly difficult shot. My archery range/shop has tons of archers who compete nationally and internationally or who hunt. Maybe 20% of the archers I know can make this shot. 

The atmosphere around Bard is thus: “Already women were jumping in the water on every side. Women and children were being huddled into laden boats in the market-pool. Weapons were flung down. There was mourning and weeping [. . .] Now he shot with a great yew bow, till all his arrows but one were spent. The flames were near him. His companions were leaving him.” He’s alone and on the ground and near flames and oh!, he has one arrow left. Note how it’s a black arrow NOT a ballista-type arrow. Because he is shooting with a longbow. He has no ballista. There is no mention of him having a “Wind Lance” ballista in the book.

One arrow. He has one arrow left. The village he has lived in all his life is on fire. People are dead and dying. Trained warriors are panicking and abandoning their posts. HE HAS ONE GODDAMN ARROW. There are not enough words for how traumatic this is. Or how dramatic. There aren’t enough words to describe the immense willpower and composure an archer would have to have to even shoot this last arrow, let alone shoot it well. There are now a handful of archers I know who could make this shot, but there are exactly two I truly believe could have any chance at killing Smaug. This is not “ultimate” difficulty, this is so so so far beyond that.

And Bard does it. He fucking does it. Yes I’m swearing, swearing a lot, but this requires swearing because it is un-fucking-believable and maybe my swearing will in some small way help you who are not archers or archery coaches understand how completely goddamn unreal this shot is. 

Robin Hood shot his amazing shot in a competition, no fire-breathing dragons and people dying and sobbing around him. No one attacking him. 

Odysseus makes his amazing shot in a competition without anyone, certainly not a dragon, immediately attacking him. His home is not literally on fire when he shoots.

Bard’s shot here is THE shot of literary archers. THE. FUCKING. MOST. DRAMATIC. AMAZING. MOTHER OF ALL SHOTS. OK!?!?!?!?

Movie version: 

There is fire, ok. His is alone, ok. But he’s on a tower, he has a better angle from which to shoot. His son appears for more drama. Because THAT wouldn’t distract an archer. Not. At. All. I’m sorry but the chances of any archer making this shot are at least halved by their goddamn kid appearing. You need to be able to concentrate, you cannot make the shot if you’re worrying about your kid. THAT IS NOT HOW ARCHERY WORKS. OK. YOU NEED PERFECT CONCENTRATION. IF YOU HAVE A SINGLE FRACTION OF A SECOND OF THOUGHT YOUR SHOT IS DONE. LITERALLY. NO MATTER HOW EXPERIENCED YOU ARE. Also, can I just say, you are sending the message to your kids that it is ok for them to come back to help when their parent is being attacked. I don’t want any kid I know coming back. I want them to go be safe. 

Note also how there are no people screaming and weeping in his vicinity. In the book it was clearly a war zone. In real life in a war or bombing or terrorist zone, there are the sounds of crying and of moaning. JRR Tolkien knew this, he was on battlefields. Well, there is one moment of people screaming but as the focus leaves the people the screaming stops. How convenient and not at all like a real war zone. You want drama and tension? Leaving the screaming in the whole time would have worked. All you had to do was make it quieter than the music and dialogue. Then again, maybe they that’d be too realistic and cause problems for people. . . ? I know they were super careful with how the tower collapsed in Return of the King, they didn’t want it to remind anyone of the Twin Towers. 

OH LOOK. SMAUG LANDED RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. IN FACT HE LITERALLY LINED HIMSELF UP WITH YOUR FUCKING ANGLE. IT IS THE STRAIGHTEST SHOT EVER. ALSO IT IS WELL IN THE RANGE OF THAT BOW. THE DIFFICULTY OF THIS SHOT WENT FROM INFINITE POINTS TO MAYBE 100 POINTS. OH AND SMAUG’S EVEN GETTING CLOSER FOR YOU. HOW KIND OF HIM. THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHOT ALL HUNTERS DREAM OF: BECAUSE IT IS PERFECT AND EASY AS HECK.

Ok, we are just going to casually ignore the problematic physics here because I have no patience to deal with that. Not the physics of the arrow. Not the physics of the bow. Actually no. We do have to talk about this. I’m still ignoring that arrow because it is ridiculous, but I will talk about bows/slingshots briefly. (Anything I say about either of these also applies to the construction of the Wind Lance.) I did a quick google search and made some edits to the photos I found to help you understand this quick detail:

On both a slingshot and bow, you have this oh so important piece connecting your tips. A continuous piece made out of one material. 

Here’s a screenshot:

This. This would never work. The reason this doesn’t work is because the force of the shot would catch in the string and bow parts and break everything, BEFORE the arrow leaves. SO the shot would never land. The boy cannot successfully connect the points. It needs to be CONTINUOUS. Bard would just cause everything to break and collapse on top of them. In fact, the bow could very well explode because of the sheer amount of force that would be caught in the limbs instead of successfully leaving with the arrow.

How do I know this? Because I’m a friggin’ archer and guess what we do with broken bows for fun when we’re young foolish archers? Yeah. I have actually done something very much like this (sans setting the arrow on a person because that is so so so dangerous) and it’s SUCH A BAD IDEA. HOLY SHIT IS IT A BAD IDEA. Bad ideas might be ok when being attacked by a dragon if it, you know, worked. Does it work? NO. FUCK NO IT DOESN’T.

And now, let’s talk about the use of the son some more. I liked Bard in the books, I HATE the movie version of him (character, not actor, to clarify). Because this scene is never ever EVER appropriate. I give ZERO fucks about the fact that there is a dragon attacking. ZERO. THIS IS NOT OK. The consulting archers on this movie SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN. You know why? Because as a goddamn archery coach I can tell you: kids emulate what they see on movies. The guy who plays Hawkeye? Causes me real life problems because my kids try to emulate him, which usually means they don’t look at their target when shooting or look away from it as they make the shot because “but Hawkeye doesn’t.” You know what happened after this goddamn Hobbit movie came out? I had two students setting up to try this. I HAD REAL STUDENTS DO THIS SHIT AND THANK FUCKING GOD I CAUGHT THEM BEFORE THEY COULD CARRY THROUGH BECAUSE THIS IS DANGEROUS. ONE OF THEM LITERALLY WAS TRYING TO USE THE SHOULDER OF THE OTHER AS AN ARROW REST. I loved loved loved LOVED Peter Jackson for what he did for the Lord of the Rings. Now though? If I ever meet him in real life instead of asking for an autograph and just gushing about how amazing he is, I would have to ask him some questions. One of which would be who his consulting archers were and why they gave this the ok. Because it is not ok. It will never BE ok. Out of all sports, archery actually has the second least amount of injuries despite the fact that we are using real weapons (if I get shot by one of my students’ arrows it WILL puncture). The reason we’re able to accomplish this is because we take safety very, very seriously. And movies like this make it a lot harder to ensure the safety of both students and coaches. 

(No blame goes to the actor of Bard. As far as my movie knowledge goes the director and consultants were in charge of this decision.)

I’m assuming they made the choices they did to add drama. Because obviously the book version was boring. Apparently. And these days in movies audiences love big (the bigger the better) monsters walking directly at them while threatening them. But this is not dramatic. This is not NEAR as intense or dramatic as the book shot, because Smaug was untouchable and out of reach. 

They added the son for drama and to reinforce Bard AS A SHITTY FATHER. Sorry, probably they meant to show him as loving, kind father, which he is, in the books.

Instead of focusing on the FORCE of heat (because that much heat close to you? It’s like a physical force that pushes you back), instead of focusing on how it was his last arrow and he’s by himself . . . because they didn’t. Not enough. They focused on adding a bunch of other stuff going wrong like his son coming and the platform he was on falling, and his bow breaking. This all took away from the drama of him, alone, surrounded by fire, with one arrow left.

I don’t think we (generally speaking, like in general in Hollywood) really understand how to create tension and anxiety in films anymore. How to do drama. We’ve embraced the whole idea of “bigger is better” and a direct threat coming directly at you is scary and “the more going wrong the worse things are.” It’s really disappointing how many movie directors are going this route. I’m not going to do a huge analysis of psychology here, or explain the other strategies of creating drama and tension. But sometimes, smaller is more threatening because it is harder to see and hit; sometimes having a threat that ignores you because you’re not even worth its attention is more threatening because it reinforces the message that you don’t matter (whereas if they’re threatening you directly it’s reinforcing your importance as a threat to them, that they feel the need to deal with you); sometimes it’s just one thing that goes wrong that ruins or can ruin everything.

Conclusion: I will never stop being disappointed and frustrated about this scene in the Hobbit. They had such a beautiful moment and they dropped the ball. And it’s all the sadder because of how on point they were with the Lord of the Rings movies. I was so excited for this, because Bard to me as both literature nerd and as an archer and coach has always been a source of inspiration and awe. 

Peter Jackson was always so aware of his audience and how his movies would affect them for the Lord of the Rings (again, such as ensuring the collapse of the tower in RotK did not mirror the collapse of the Twin Towers). I’m very disappointed that he was not more conscientious when directing this scene. 

I will not apologize for my vehemence. Because setting aside my love of stories as a literature major, stories and entertainment influence reality, and the depiction of archery in movies directly affects me as a coach, and the other coaches I work with. As I have already made clear. Anything that has played a role in causing my students to be in an unsafe situation is something I have to be passionate about because it is my job as a coach to keep them safe. 

I hope this post showed you how amazing Bard is in the books and gave you greater appreciation for the Hobbit. But I also hope it has made you think about your art and how it might affect people. If you are going to share your writing and art with the public, you must be aware that you have a responsibility to think of how it will affect the real world. We can’t all be perfect, and we can’t think of everything. But we must be aware that it’s not “just art for art’s sake” or “just for fun.” It has real life consequences. I also do hope this post might have shown you a bit of how complicated movie making is, and help show how much skill and devotion Peter Jackson has sunk into not only the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but also the trilogy of the Hobbit. Even if I personally did not care for the Hobbit trilogy near so well. Peter Jackson and all the people involved in the films have to make a lot of decisions, and their decisions are much more important than just “what would be cooler.” So despite my issues with this specific scene, thank you, Peter Jackson and all who were involved in the making of this movie. All I ask, if any of you happen to see this, is that you remember that kids emulate their heroes (and with heroes as cool as the characters in The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings? how can they resist?)

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Kevin Wozniak on Kevflix: Top 5 – Movies Coming Out in November

Usually when making this list, a list I have been doing monthly for three years, I have a relatively easy time picking which movies should make the cut.  Sometimes I’m forced to snub one or two, but usually the five are pretty easy to pick.  This month was the opposite of that.  There are over fifteen films coming out in November that I am excited for, which is kind of insane.  We got horror movies, animated movies, gangster movies, thrillers, comedies, all sorts of movies from all genres from some of the best directors working in the game today working with some of the greatest actors and actresses ever.  It’s a very exciting month and the five movies on this list are titles you should all have on your radar this month.  Here are my picks for the most exciting movies coming out in November.

        *BONUS* – THE IRISHMAN (Martin Scorsese, November 1)

Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman is a Netflix movie that will be available on the streaming service starting November 27th.  However, the film is also getting a small theatrical run in certain theaters before the Netflix drop.  This is a movie that you should see in theaters.  While I love that fact that Netflix gave Scorsese complete freedom to make a three-and-a-half-hour long gangster epic with $150 million-plus budget, a cast of cinematic legends, and top of the line de-aging technology, Martin Scorsese films are films that must be seen on the big screen and The Irishman is no different.  It’s a sprawling epic about life, time, and loyalty and a new gangster classic from Scorsese.  This is the best movie I have seen in 2019.

  And now, the official top five.

        5 – FROZEN II (Chris Buck & Jennifer Lee, November 22)

The first Frozen was an absolute juggernaut, becoming the most successful animated film at the world wide box office ($1.27 billion, respectively), winning an Oscar, two Grammy’s, and introducing a new kind of princess to a new generation of young girls.  I am excited to see what they do next.  I am excited to the improvement in the animation, where the story will go, and if they can possibly make a song to top the iconic “Let It Go”.  Frozen II has the potential to be the best animated movie of 2019.

    4 – A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Marielle Heller, November 22)

The pitch on why A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood should be on your radar is simple: Tom Hanks stars as Mr. Rogers.  That’s it.  That’s the pitch and that is why everyone is going to see this movie.  But other than Hanks, who is simply perfect for the part of seemingly one of the nicest, sweetest, purest human beings to ever live on planet Earth, I’m excited to see the work of director Marielle Heller.  Heller, who made her debut in 2015’s The Diary of a Teenage Girl, really made a splash with last year’s Can You Ever Forgive Me?, which earned three Oscar nominations and put Heller’s name on the map.  I’m excited to see her work with Hanks and see what kind of magic the two conjure up together.

    3 – DARK WATERS (Todd Haynes, November 22)

A lot of Oscar players have already premiered at one film festival or another.  However, there are still a few films that could come through and shake up the already foggy Oscar race.  Todd Haynes Dark Waters is one of those films.  In what looks like a mix of Spotlight and A Civil Action, Dark Waters looks at corporate defense attorney (the always great Mark Ruffalo) who takes on an environmental lawsuit against a chemical company that exposes a lengthy history of pollution.  Haynes is one of the best directors working today, always making movies that are smart, emotional, visually stunning, and riveting.  I’m excited to see what Haynes does in the political thriller genre and to see how he works with Ruffalo and the rest of the cast.

    2 –  FORD V FERRARI (James Mangold, November 15)

These next two films on the list I have already seen and both are in my ten best movies of the year.  Ford v Ferrari is a true American sports movie.  A red, white, and blue underdog story that is funny, exciting, and full of moments that will make you want to stand up and cheer.  Matt Damon and Christian Bale star in this true story about the Ford Motor Company’s efforts to defeat Ferrari at 24 Hours of Le Mans in 1966.  Both Damon and Bale are in top form, as in Tracy Letts, who plays Henry Ford Jr. and could make an Oscar play at the end of the year.  This is movie I could watch a million times and one I am excited to see again.

    1 – KNIVES OUT (Rian Johnson, November 27)

I might be able to watch Ford v Ferrari a million times, but I could watch Knives Out two million times.  Rian Johnson’s follow-up to his brilliant, yet divisive entry in the Star Wars franchise, The Last Jedi, is the most fun I’ve had at the movies in 2019.  A smart, funny, thrilling whodunit featuring an outstanding writing, the best ensemble of the year, and an ending you won’t soon forget.  Knives Out is a true blast and Johnson is the ringleader behind the mastery.  From a director who’s made other brilliant films like Brick, Looper, and The Last Jedi, this might be his crowning achievement.

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[shirlleycoyle]

Did Zack Snyder Draw A Picture of Batman Going Down on Catwoman? An Investigation

Over the weekend, director Zack Snyder—a man who Mr. Magoo'd his way into having control over the cinematic presentation of DC Comics for many years and is an avowed fan of Batman—posted an image of the Dark Knight performing cunnilingus on Catwoman. Since that time, I have not known peace. I must know who drew it.

Like the two women at the counter of the coffee shop where I bought the iced coffee that was necessary to begin this investigation, I am so desensitized to pornography involving cartoon characters that at first this image barely registered. The necessary context is that, apparently  in response to the ongoing conversation about DC's decree that Batman canonically doesn't eat pussy, Snyder, who once directed a movie called Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and was for a long time as in control as anyone else was of DC lore, posted a drawing of Batman going down on Catwoman. He captioned it "canon." I guess!

As time went on, theories began to emerge about who drew the image. Snyder fans—and to be clear, he is a divisive figure in the multiple fandoms oriented toward and revolving around various DC brands—propose that he, personally, drew it. A major aspect of this theory is that Snyder didn't provide any information about the image when he posted it, at all. The image doesn't even have a signature. Running it through a reverse image search yields nothing from before Snyder posted it. The drawing seems to have appeared from the ether.

Representatives for Snyder didn't respond to requests for comment, leaving Motherboard unable to put the question of whether he drew this image of Batman satisfying his longtime love interest and occasional fiancé with his own hand. A Motherboard review of footage from the DVD extras of Watchmen—a movie directed by Snyder that I definitely saw in theaters and remember absolutely none of—suggests that Snyder is a talented draughtsman, and may well be capable of having drawn this image. We cannot definitively establish, though, whether or not he did so by putting the question directly to him, and so had to turn elsewhere in search of answers. 

Logically, there are only so many options here. It's possible that, as some fans are beginning to think, Snyder drew it himself; it's also possible, though, that it's a panel from an existing comic book or a piece of fan art, whether preexisting or commissioned personally by Snyder.  Roy T. Cook, a professor of philosophy at the University of Minnesota who specializes in the aesthetics of popular art, told Motherboard that it seems unlikely that it comes from something DC published.

"If this were from a comic, it would certainly be well known given its content, and hence would have been identified by fans or scholars by now," Cook said. "So it’s almost certainly a custom piece of art."

In theory this would narrow things down some, but the sheer ubiquity of Batman-related pornography means that there are still too many images to anyone to sift through. On the pornographic website Rule 34—named for the humorous "rule," which functions with the force and power of a basic law of physics, that anything that exists will also have porn of it on the internet—there are more than 400 images with both the tags "Catwoman" and "Batman." The image Snyder posted can be found there, but was only added after he tweeted it, and notes Snyder's tweet as the original source. It is not hard at all to find an image of Batman eating out Catwoman. Finding one that no one has ever seen before is much harder.

It's possible to inferentially establish that this image is unique to Snyder, whether as something he commissioned or as something he had unique access to and chose to put on the internet. The question consuming many fans, though, is the one of whether he personally drew it. Experts in comic book art doubt that he did. Both of the comic-art brokers that responded to Motherboard's requests for comment said that they definitely don't think Snyder drew it. Details noted about the art style offer food for thought.

"I would say that [Frank] Miller is most certainly an influence/inspiration for the style of the image Snyder tweeted. Dark Knight Returns and all. Gritty stuff," Douglas Gillock, vice-president of the comic art brokerage ComicLink, said. (He was referring to the writer/artist whose mid-80s Batman comics set the tone for all the many, many grim and bleak interpretations of the billionaire who does kung-fu at muggers that have dominated pop culture for decades. Miller's Batman comics have been critiqued as fascistic but could also be read as brilliant parodies of fascistic excess; complicating the question is Miller's later-career turn toward things like a comic where Batman murdered Muslims to avenge 9/11, which was rejected by DC and subsequently repackaged as Holy Terror, a comic where a thinly-veiled Batman stand-in murdered Muslims.)  "I would also say that I also see some David Mazzucchelli here. He was an artist that was also influenced by Miller. He did the art on the Batman: Year One run, which Miller wrote. Pretty sure that is where that particular iteration of Catwoman's costume came from in the modern era too. A similar version was used for the Paul Dini/Bruce Timm Batman animated series."

Gillock's interpretations seem correct. Notably, the outfit that Catwoman is wearing in the image that Snyder tweeted is purple—the color used in most Miller versions of the character—while many popular depictions of the character have her wearing black. It also features cat ears, which not all of her costumes have; this design was favored by Miller and used not only in Year One, but in a special wedding issue of Batman written by Tom King—a renowned comic book writer who spent much of his run on Batman making it canonical that Batman and Catwoman fall in love and get married with the insistent energy of a Livejournal poster embroiled in a shipwar—and featuring a Miller drawing of Catwoman wearing this exact costume. 

Snyder's Miller fandom cannot be overstated. He directed 300, based on the Miller graphic novel. He recreated scenes from The Dark Knight Returns in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice in exactingly specific detail, even where it made no sense to do so. Like Miller, Snyder has used his work to promote and exult in vaguely fascist iconography. (Unlike Miller, for Snyder the appeal seems to be mostly aesthetic.) Snyder's fandom for Miller is so intense and specific  that the details in the shading, the coloring, and the costumes depicted in the image of Batman face down in Catwoman's super soaker pussy stand out as ones a fan steeped in Miller's work would not only appreciate, but commission or create, if they were able to. Especially on Selina's legs and head, the specific way that the image is shaded looks a lot like the way that Miller draws Catwoman. In both Snyder's tweet and the image from King's Batman, the shading on Catwoman's suit consists of black swirls and circles. (Miller's image is a lot more stylized than what Snyder posted, though, with Catwoman's spine curving exaggeratedly, like an actual cat's would.)

It should be noted that one thing we know about Snyder is that he's a passable artist, at least from the storyboards he's released for a few of his films. According to a profile in Bloomberg, he studied painting for a year before transferring to film school. It's difficult to tell, but when I look at this blurry screenshot of one of Snyder's sketchbooks where he shows off a drawing he did of Watchmen's Silk Spectre kicking a Nazi in the back of the head, it kinda looks like the same general body proportions as Catwoman as she's getting eaten out by Batman. In particular, both Silk Spectre and Catwoman have pretty sturdy thighs, though comparing a fully colored and inked image to a sketch is not going to yield conclusive results.

Image Source: League of Mayhem

DC, several art history professors, noted Snyder enthusiast Armond White, and Tom King did not respond to requests for comment. In absence of their authoritative input, as well as Snyder's, it seems Motherboard will never know for sure whether Zack Snyder spent the weekend drawing Batman eating box. But my friend and film critic Nadine Smith pointed out something important to me as I discussed this mystery with her: With any other director, this wouldn't even be a question. Snyder's fandom for comics, which somehow is for the exact opposite things about the genre that I admire, is nevertheless deep and powerful to the extent that he forced a major studio to release a four-hour uncut version of the Justice League fanfiction he filmed at a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars. He's always expected to do the most, and could not surprise anyone by doing anything that demonstrated the depth of his passion.

"If anyone else posted it, we would probably assume they just found some fanart," Smith told me. "But like, Snyder would."

Did Zack Snyder Draw A Picture of Batman Going Down on Catwoman? An Investigation syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[tobns]

                            BREAKING CASTLE WALLS (2017)

                                                               click beneath the cut for more (do it) !

so, i decided that i wasn’t gonna post anything about what i was working on for nanowrimo up until i at least hit 50k (which has taken much longer than i anticipated, but i did it and that’s all that matters) because i failed in epic proportions last year with sfp, and i've said so many times over the last 5 years that i’ve “been working on the book version of bcw” only for that to fail as well, and i’d kick myself if i put it out there that i was working on this yet again, hype you guys up and fail yet again — HOWEVER, i am officially 50k+ in and still going pretty strong, therefore i feel pretty confident that this is gonna stick

talking with jackie inspired me to finally push forward to this; my excuse every other time was that “there will be a better time to do it” and i came to the conclusion while planning with amanda that there will never be a “better time” and i need to just do it. and so i did. after five painstaking years, i have written bcw the fucking book.

a lot has changed; movie plots, essential storylines, names, ages, characters, whole nine yards - bcw is now somewhat able to stand on its own two feet separate from fandom, which has been a really big worry of mine. i’m only 50k in, which equates to about chapter 3 in the original bcw, however, with this version of bcw, i’m only writing about their time filming. the mall tour bit almost stands as its own individual story and realistically, following both my plan for this AND adding in bcw 23-44 makes for a book the length of an unabridged dictionary, which publishers/agents are not going to want to pick up. this leads into my next point — i have every intention of publishing this. since summer of 2012, the thought of someday publishing bcw has been in my brain, and it has never been a dream i’ve been willing to let go of or compromise. i wanted it then, and i want it now. i’ve self-published twice now, with both tempted and transient, and while that’s been a rewarding process, i want to go about things a more traditional way. i want to have this book published by a publishing house; i want to go into barnes and fucking noble and see this sitting on the shelf. that’s the dream, and i’m sticking to it until it’s just no longer a possibility. so where to from here?

first things first, i need to actually finish (timeline wise, i’m at the start of july and i’m going into mid/late august). depending on how i feel by the end of november, i’ll either keep writing on into december or take a short break, write some other things, catch up on the tv i’ve missed, etc. january and potentially february, i’ll go back and revise, shape things up, make it even better. from there, things are a tad bit hazy: i’ve yet to decide if i’m going to go about the traditional way of finding an agent or if i’m going to take a risk and put the manuscript up on swoonreads. swoonreads, if you don’t know, is an “online community” where you can post your manuscript for said community to see, and depending on a few factors, the book could potentially be published by macmillan. right now, i’m leaning towards this option because it allows you guys access to reading the story sooner than you would be able to if i go about finding an agent before submitting to publishing houses. nothing’s set in stone, though. i’ll keep you updated as time goes on, but please please don’t be scared to give me your thoughts and opinions? as i’ve always said, bcw is just as much y’alls baby as it is mine, and i think it’s only fair that you get some say in the process. it may seem a bit unrealistic, but i would like to have this book in your hands by, at the latest, 2020. if i have to self-publish, i will, but i don’t really want to.

there’s a few people i want to thank really quickly before i get back to writing:

@catolovesclove (i’m tagging you on this url bc it’s what came to mind first, dwi) amanda you have been my saving grace during the last 21 days and i love you more than i can put into words. i could not, cannot, and will not do any of this without you. 

@pixiedustandverygoodadvice i met you through this story, and it’s so much of your baby as it is mine. thanks for meeting jackie, bc we both know that’s what got us here - our dramatic readings of bcw have been the highlight of this month, you give jackie a voice in my head and i just love you so much

@shadcwthings you keep me sane, and have done so especially well this month, thanks for putting up with me

@orchidellee years and years ago, you sent me a message saying “even if you have moved on from that chapter in your life, don’t forget how amazing bcw was and how many people you made happy!!” i have it screenshotted on my phone, and every single day for the last month i have looked at that message to remind myself why i love this story so much, why it’s important, and to keep me moving even in the slumps. i never replied to it because i knew i’d need it at some point, and this was it. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart

@brinshannara your advice on my posts about nano really has kept me moving, so thank you, and i love you so so much. i went from loathing everything i had to writing ~300 words to 4.5k just with your encouragement

@alwaysthreegoodthings you have sent me so many kind, thorough, thoughtful messages over the years about my writing and they have never gone unnoticed or unappreciated. i’ve gone back and read them quite a bit over the last month because they held some advice i needed to hear and just...thankyou. i love you. 

@eretriahs @greaseful @farrah-fawcett-spray @lttleodesta @martinskis @scfiafalcone @jeemmasimmons @brokencastlewalls @podamerons @lessthanthreejoanamarie / @speak-yourheartout @flicitysmoak @submeringue @hereistheplacewhereiloverue @dangerouskoshy y’all have been around since the dawn of time, always willing to talk with me or liked my posts about “the thg days” and every time i got so exhausted with pushing through a chapter, i thought about how y’all were there every friday reading, every summer fangirling and i just...kept at it. y’all were my motivation then, and y’all have been my motivation now. ily all

there are so many of you who have changed urls, moved blogs, stay anonymous, or are long gone and may not even see this that i want to personally mention, but for every single one of you who clicked on that read more, send me a message, followed my blog, played any single part in the bcw madness, i literally couldn’t have done it without you. seriously - on days i was in a low, i went back through my blog back in 2012 and 2013, read all the posts and messages and comments and it reminded me of how much i loved this story, this world, and these characters. you kept my dream alive, and for that, i love you and thank you. 

okay i’m done being annoying and sappy, i’ve got some arguments to write!! if you wanna know more, shoot me an ask, but until then, i’ll be 84 pages deep in word and jamming to reputation xx

[reddiess]

[stan_the_man messaged you]

For the anon who wrote:  "stenbrough social media/college au where person A is an instagram model and person B is a fan who has a friend that forces them to follow and comment, and !! person A notices him!!!!" i’m so sorry something was wrong with the connection so i either didn’t post it or deleted it but shoot me a message if you liked it op! you can also find this on my AO3 Requests are open, shoot me a prompt for a fic or headcanon!! Summary:  Stanley Uris has an undying crush on Instagram model Bill Denbrough. Which is fine, until Richie Tozier goes and messages him. * The moment Stanley Uris spots his best friend with his phone in his hand, suspiciously only tapping once on the screen and with purpose, is the moment he knows Richie Tozier is fucking dead. "Richie," he draws the word out as if to question his friend's entire existence. "What are you doing with my phone?" The traitor looks up and has the audacity to smile innocently, like he doesn't know what Stanley is talking about. "Um... Nothing?" "Nothing my ass," Stan murmurs under his breath before sizing the situation up and jumping into action. He throws himself over the back of their leather couch but Richie is already out of the living room, wheezing as he bolts towards the kitchen door. Stan stops and crosses his arms in front of his torso, waiting for the inevitable— CRASH! He watches with perverse satisfaction as his flatmate trips over the ironing board standing in the entrance to the kitchen, toppling to the floor. "There's something in the way," he deadpans. "Watch out."

"Fucking bitch." Richie pushes himself up. Somehow, there's still an unnerving grin splitting his frog face in two. "I still messaged him though."

Stanley's eye twitches. "Who exactly, again?" He stomps over to the monster he calls his best friend and rips his phone out of his hand. "WHAT THE FUCK!"

*

DING!

stan_the_man followed you

DING!

stan_the_man mentioned you in a comment: @billyboy boi fuk me up u fiiiiiiine

Bill Denbrough's eyebrows draw together in confusion, his stare almost piercing holes into the touchscreen of his phone; what kind of language...?

DING!

stan_the_man messaged you: dam boi are u a pair of ray bans bc ud look great sitting on my face ;);););)

The line is so out of the blue and bizarre that Bill actually bursts out laughing. He sits up and quickly screenshots the ridiculous message to send to the groupchat with his closest friends.

Out of pure curiosity he clicks on stan_the_man's profile and is surprised to find that the guy looks fairly normal – handsome, even – and not at all creepy like he would've expected. There's also no trace of the attitude or the, um, grammar he used in his direct message to Bill. He actually just looks like a regular guy who's nice and hot and therefore way out of Bill's league.

He goes back to the direct message to type in a reply but changes his mind pretty quickly. Should he even address something as childish and weird as this message? Should he even...

DING!

He almost drops his phone in surprise.

stan_the_man: Oh God, sorry. That was my roommate, this is so embarrassing. He thinks he's funny.

No emojis, no pickup lines. But at least the guy has good grammar. That's more than what he normally sees on Instagram these days.

*

Stan tries to forget all about the most embarrassing event of his life, also known as the time Richie dm'd his Instagram crush with a godawful fuckboy one-liner. He doesn't unfollow Bill Denbrough though because why would he?

He does still spend a good majority of his free time stalking the guy's profile. What can he do when Bill is literally perfect with all his black and white photoshoots and colorful model shots in European countries and mirror selfies with his dog? What is Stan supposed to do, ignore it? Yeah well, not today - and not only because he's a photography major and the shots make his heart weep but also because Bill is ridiculously perfect.

So here's the brief story of how he found the guy: He was exhausted after a long day of work and was in search of a movie stupid enough for his mushy brain to absorb. In this state of mind, a person's brain capacity is not exactly at its full potential, and so that's his excuse for clicking on a Buzzfeed article titled "21 Hottest Male Models We Shamelessly Follow On Instagram". Go figure.

All of them were hot, of course. But Bill Denbrough was... something else. All Stanley could think about was photographing him. Most of the models were these muscly, handsome machos with chiseled jawlines and messy hair - your typical, well, douchebag look. None of them were Stan's type by far, so he was ready to close the article but then he saw number 21, Bill Denbrough aka @billyboy. Bill was... stunning, to say the least. For starters, he didn't have any facial hair, one point for him. He was not buff, more of a tall and lean type, another point. Not the average face that's considered universally attractive but more of a unique charm and he seemed to have a dog; more points. His bio said:

Bill Denbrough 23yr old model based in New York, loves dogs, books, nature and tv shows. Advocate for LGBTQ+ and homeless youth. For business inquiries, please contact...

His pictures all matched with his bio, Stan realized as he scrolled through his profile. He really was a dog and nature lover, liked to read and was actively helping the LGBT and homeless youth - infinite points and there went Stanley Uris' heart.

So that was then. Now is now, and now... Stan is getting a message from him.

What!?

Stan clears his cache, force stops and restarts the Instagram app and cold boots his phone but it's still there:

billyboy: Haha, no problem man. I know a lot about annoying roommates. I like your work btw!

What. The. Fuck. He doesn't know if he should smack Richie or kiss him.

stan_the_man: Wow, thank you! I'm a photography & imaging major so they're mostly my assignments, but some of them are just for fun. Are you still studying?

Lame, but kind of okay. Acknowledged Bill's compliment, gave a bit of insight related to the topic, asked to show he's also interested in having a conversation. That's normal, right? He waits a couple of minutes before sending it just so he doesn't seem desperate but gets a reply almost instantly.

billyboy: Yeah, I'm studying creative writing, it's my last year though. Can't wait to be out of uni tbh.

stan_the_man: same, I'd sell my soul at this point for it to be over

Bill laughs, or at least sends a laughing emoji so Stan guesses he does. That's how he starts talking to his Instagram crush.

*

It doesn't help much with his crush, talking to Bill. If anything, it makes him like the guy even more, which in turn just makes his heart hurt when he thinks about how he doesn't have a chance. Sometimes he has a flicker of hope, like when Bill says something especially flirty or compliments his new picture. He doesn't post many selfies but the one he does Bill ends up commenting on ("What a handsome curly man #crying") and Stanley ends up gaining 300 followers overnight.

And his infatuation with the model just keeps growing and growing. He's certain Bill is not perfect, he can't be but what can a man do when it sure seems like he is? Stan has no chance. So he does the stupidest thing he can do and invites him out for coffee. As soon as he sends the message he throws his phone across the room, the childhood habit of biting his fingernails making a short but threatening return. Get your act together, Stanley thinks. He's just a guy.

He's Bill Denbrough, he's not just some guy! His mind helpfully supplies.

You're arguing with yourself again. Stop it.

I do whatever I w--

DING!

That has to be Bill. It has to be. Stan carefully rounds his bed and reaches for his phone, pushing the home button so he sees his lockscreen. The preview of Bill's message starts with Sure! When are you... and then it's cut off.

Stanley looks around to see if Richie is in hearing distance, and when he finds he's in the clear, he does a dance of celebration.

He really should give a present of gratitude to Richie now.

*

It goes well. Coffee, that is. They hit it off right away because as normal as Bill comes through in his messages, his humour actually aligns with Stan's in that dry, passive aggressive, death loving kind of way. Which is fine. Amazing.

What's not amazing however, is how perfect he actually is. Stan sees his clear skin and perfect hair and amazing body proportions and red lips every day on Instagram but it has nothing on the real thing. There's just no way any camera could ever capture the charisma the guy has.

(Stanley is going to try though. Even if Bill wouldn't have agreed to it, he would somehow bribe him into modeling for his portfolio. He did agree though, and without any extra convincing too so Stan is going to make the most of that promise.)

It turns out that Bill's favorite tv show is Supernatural, bless his soul, but his favorite movie is Edward Scissorhands, which Stan also loves. They also realize they go to the same university and actually took a course together last semester – some bullshit class where attendance wasn't mandatory – except Stan never realized it. Bill traveled a lot last year due to his modeling career and Stan literally never was there so there was little to no chance of them meeting; which is nice because he would have had an aneurysm on the spot.

When he gets home that afternoon Richie is already sitting in the armchair in their living room with crossed legs.

"I see you've had a fun day," he waves his phone at Stanley, who has to squint to see that Bill has uploaded the selfie they took together to his Instagram.

"None of your business," Stan replies and automatically turns to leave. Well, he would if Richie Tozier didn't jump on his back the next second and really, how is he that fast?

"Tell me EVERYTHING Stan the man, don't you even think about sparing me any juicy details!" Richie booms in his ear before he manages to shake him off enough that only his arms remain locked around Stan's neck. "Come oooon, I hooked you guys up!"

"What the fuck do you mean you hooked us-" DING! "Excuse me, I have to go." He unceremoniously bites Richie in the forearm until he has no chance to let go with a yelp.

"At least tell me later!" his best friend shouts after him but he's already halfway to his room. He plops down onto the light blue bedsheets he changed just yesterday, and the faint smell of the detergent kind of reminds him of how Bill smelled when they half-hugged while saying goodbye.

billyboy: Thank you for the coffee today! I actually have a confession to make.

billyboy: Tell me if I got the wrong message or anything but I had a very hard time not kissing you after we met. I just thought it would be fair to tell you.

Stan turns so his face mushes into the pillow and screams.

*

("When were you going to tell me this?!" Richie shouts, pushing his phone screen into Stan's face. "HUH?"

It's a picture Bill took on campus of them kissing - he uploaded it onto his Instagram story which in turn spiked hundreds of fans to raid Stanley's DM's – mostly with positivity – and Richie to, apparently, have a mental breakdown.

"Just die," Stan replies, pushing the oversized phone out of his face, but he is smiling. "I was going to tell you later, maybe when we're not in the library? You're making a lot of noise."

He's pretty sure he can see Richie's face turn purple with how much he's trying not to scream.

He is going to buy him a present, don't worry. But for now, he has to work on his assignment so he can go meet his boyfriend.)