#i could literally just be spewing nonsense and my take makes no sense but like. it makes sense to Me and it drives me insane

[shrikebrother]

since im a musical mood now im gonna talk abt zoe murphy bc i have a lot of feelings abt her

[shotanzz]

eunseok as a bf pls!! 🫶🏻

imma try to be as unbiased as I can since he's my literal bias 😭

eunseok as your boyfriend based on astrology

(reminder that this for fun and astrology is something I study for a hobby, these are all inferences based off of observations and not exact fact unless I knew him myself !!)

warnings: small mention of sexual innuendo but nothing extremely graphic I'll only do NSFW asks if requested.

Pisces Sun: Briize have questioned how Eunseok and Wonbin are both pisces but are sooo different personality wise, this is why it's important to take other placements and aspects into account !! His other placements lead to his sun sign manifesting/presenting differently. He will be super intuitive about how you feel, will tell if you're uncomfortable, excited, scared without having to ask or you telling him. differently. Very willing to accomodate things for you, would be very willing to share and would even have a plan right away if you needed anything. Would want to help you feel better if you were upset IMMEDIATELY especially since his capricorn moon would want to search for solutions over letting you ruminate. Would compare experiences he's had with yours so you never feel isolated.

Capricorn Moon: The moon is uncomfy in capricorn leading to being very restrictive with their emotions, this causes people to stereotype Eunseok as "cold". However Eunseok having a capricorn moon whilst having a pisces sun and mercury (&his moon/saturn is well aspected rather than harshly) could make him have good emotional regulation. He would be more reserved and closed off with his feelings but wouldn't leave you completely in the dark, however he might have a hard time expressing himself but wouldn't lash out his suppressed emotions at you. He'd want to be your rock..like literally. His pisces placements makes him understand your emotional standpoint and cap moon will help aid you with logic. Extreme gentleman type, he'd even want to essentially protect you in a way. Eunseok would be quietly protective, very protective of your emotions/well being and would help you address your feelings. Would tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear and would have very good advice when you were in emotional dilemmas. Would be very grateful that you can understand him better than others.

Pisces Mercury: yk how nobody ever knows what he's gonna say next. This is why LMAO. His handwriting might be a bit messy or his text would be lowkey vague or random..like he'd randomly tell you he's 5 mins from your house when the convo was a completely diff subject. Or instead of just texting back he'd call ? However he'd be sort of stuck on how to express himself (literally said if he accidentally liked his crush's post on insta he'd delete the account.) When pursuing you he'd be shy to let you know he likes you until he found a fun lighthearted moment to fully confess to you with. He'd surprisingly know what you mean when you aren't making sense at all like you could be spewing nonsense and he'd...get it ? Makes you laugh to the point you tear up a little bit. Would laugh/joke you out of your panties I fear. LOl

Aries Venus: I feel like this (+his mars) is the fuel for the "Eunseok fwb/player/sneaky link" fanfics tbh 😭😭. I've dated an aries venus so I have a personal understanding of the placement. He'd mess with you, A LOTTT omg if you had no haters Eunseok would be dead, but it all comes from him being unable to be sappy with you and only can express his complete fondness for you through teasing you. Wouldn't let people that weren't him mess with you however LOL He'd want to take the lead of the relationship. Would flirt at random 😭 which would leave you so flustered because whereee did that come from ??? the compliments and flirting would be DEEP. Might be into a little push and pull dynamic as long as you understood each others feelings. Would value his independence however and would want/let you indulge in your independence and own time as well. Now there's an observation that aries venus can fall out of love fast once they feel like the spark and energy is gone which can be true but his venus is in retrograde..based on other aspects in his chart it seems like the venus in retrograde neutralizes the flaky energy of his venus in aries making him less likely to just ditch you. Would want lots of passion and exponential energy in the relationship.

Sagittarius Mars: I have this placement HA. I doubt severe arguments would happen or he'd at least not be quick to anger/he wouldn't be mad for that long like aries mars. Would use physical action to exert built up energy (that time he was super excited and started dancing too hard). Super forward and blunt which once again make his flirting so jaw dropping. Is secure the majority of the time but will just have random moments of being jealous. Loves winning like yea you're his s/o but he still loves the taste of sweet victory. Sag rules the hips and thighs (wink wink) so he might be attracted to how your hips look or like when you wear clothes that accentuates yours. Might hold you by your hips or lower waist. May sit you on his lap or would lay his head across your lap. Keeps a hand on your upper leg.

Other Aspects:

Sun/Saturn Sextile: Very responsible and reasonable. When a serious situation unfolds it'll be easier to rely on him with support and trusting him with certain task won't be regrettable.

Mercury/Saturn Square: Even when being honest he might censor some of his feelings for your sake, like if he was upset he'd let you know he was upset but wouldn't go into that much detail.

Potential Toxicity: (reminder that any/everyone is capable of having toxic or negative traits, these could be POTENTIALLY true)

Aries Venus+Sag Mars: Isn't negative or toxic by itself ofc but if expressed negatively he might be super dismissive about his romantic past and carry past worries into the new relationship without fully acknowledging/processing it, can also be a bit too nonchalant to where he can be unintentionally harmful.

[pplatonic]

Hi! Due to that one extremely popular fan PV, EVERYONE thinks that Two-Faced Lovers by wowaka ft. Hatsune Miku is about teenage pregnancy and careless sex, and as someone who is very probably manic right now, I’m here to channel my manic energy into hopefully somewhat comprehensible ramblings about why you’re wrong and I’m right. 

So the basic literal story of our girl starts with waking up from a dream. She says that “Love” takes over, and continues on to spew out lines upon lines at rapid speed all about how her emotions are all over the place. On the pre chorus, we stop focusing on purely emotional and shift over to physical sensations, where in the chorus it all boils over to some striking imagery involving body parts.

It basically repeats the same thing over again with her consequences starting to sneak up on her, but she jumps back into that emotion and physical sensation nonetheless. The pre chorus and chorus play out straight, until the key shifts up and the chorus repeats and ends with the banging chant of “Love love love love--NO!”

So that’s our literal story. And many people will interpret the colorful physical sensations to be sex, and you’re not wrong the song is literally called Two-Faced Lovers, but I’m telling you that’s NOT ALL THERE IS TO IT.

Let’s start at the start, line by line!! 

“I woke up from a dream full of delight inside my head-space

A perplexing thing called Love took over, and then”

These are pretty self explanatory. The girl is brimming with happy emotions at a dream full of delight, and then an emotion they don’t understand and find perplexing - Love - takes control.

“I couldn't keep my heart-space from splitting in two

Never had the capacity to control it in the first place”

First of all what should be noted is that of the contrast between a “head-space” and a “heart-space.” Most simply, there’s a disconnect between the girl’s logic and the girl’s emotions.

The lines themselves further this theme of disorienting emotions, saying their heart-space has split in two. (This will be brought up again later.) The girl then acknowledges they couldn’t control it in the first place - this was bound to happen with her wild emotions.

“With my mostly naive theory of emotion somewhere in that spray of words

I was someway, somehow looking for a pair of eyes to find out where it's at--LIFE”

I cannot prepare you for the absolute RAWNESS of these lines. Firstly, the way they straight up just acknowledge that the way they connect with and conceive their emotions is naive and pathetic outright?? And they’re just spraying words out rapidly - they’re looking for the eyes that can even see where that theory of emotion is, where that meaning is, and then they just go, “Aw, shucks, that’s life son!” WOW. 

So the first verse sets our stage: an emotionally disoriented girl, trying to make sense of life. The next verse will add on to this by demonstrating the emotional confusion all of this intense emotion of Love is causing her.

“Every day is full of "why" did this, did that, but in the end, it's sayonara baby”

The first part, asking why they did this and that, is the nonsense that life has become with this emotion of Love plaguing her. Her life is nothing but questions, but in the end, all she’s doing is saying goodbye to another baby. Which like, you can interpret that to mean she’s getting another abortion which like perfectly demonstrates the consequences of her careless actions and fits with the theme, yeah, but also what about “baby” as in the pet name for a lover? What if the same line could have a double meaning of hopping from one love and life to another, saying sayonara, as soon as you blink twice?

“One side facing truth, one side running, my two-sided heart”

This is what I think the heart-space split in two is referencing. One side faces truth - one part of her heart is ready to be self-aware and accept what’s happening, the unhealthiness going on. But the other side runs away further into delusion - further into the madness - and such is the dilemma that our poor girl faces. People say listen to your heart, but which side of her heart does she listen to?

“Is there no good out there? I ask my topsy-turvy self

Inside myself, beside myself, insides turned inside out, ahhhh”

A question given out in utter desperation, sprung up by endless confusion and toil - is there any good to be found in the world? She acknowledges that she’s all over the place right now, before she falls apart completely, getting wrapped up in that emotion before we spring into the pre chorus.

“Just touching by instinct with nothing to say

Hurting, touching, gasping, feeling like I could climb to heaven”

Acting purely on instinct now with no thoughts running through her head, experiencing a whole breadth of human experience, using the phrase “like I’m in heaven.” The emotion of Love is taking control of her body and mind, she’s getting totally swept up in emotion.

“But I'm stuck going nowhere here and there”

She acknowledges that just for a second, this is leading her nowhere, that it’s all going towards disaster, but -

“Take that leap to the other side”

She submits anyway, giving into the whir of emotions, leading us into the chorus!

“Get head over heels in love, breathe from your diaphragm

Jump into a intense taste, front side, flip side, big as life

Force them together, stick them over your retinas

Just give yourself to love! Want-don't-want to see you--NO!”

The start and end of the chorus clarifies fully that she’s giving into the perplexing emotion of Love, even romanticizing it. Other parts of the chorus are vivid imagery of physical sensation - breathing from your diaphragm, sticking them over your retinas, jumping into an intense taste...The end of the chorus is a girl in conflict, does she go to see him or not? In the end she just says NO to it all!

Obviously this can be read as sex, but that’s not all it is. The sex is a metaphor, guys, I’m not crazy. Committing such a personal, intimate, beautiful act entirely on a whim - and facing the deadly consequences afterwards. That’s what this song is about. And the next iteration of the song proves that.

Not much has changed - our girl obviously hasn’t learnt her lesson. She’s still singing nearly the exact same lyrics! Our first key that something is off is that the dream is now full of misery. Then, the end of the verse shows us what’s wrong:

“Mostly vaguely innocent calamity strewn by my swollen ego

Telling me where I'm at, these words I think I've grasped”

She becomes self aware for just a flash about her ego - swollen - leading her to jump straight into scenarios that seem fun but end awfully, causing calamity and chaos in her life. All caused by her listening to her big ego about what to do - she thinks she’s finally starting to understand what’s happening, but she continues back into the same loop anyways… 

I honestly don’t think the second chorus needs a line-by-line breakdown. It’s just a show of how chaotic her life has become, she’s completely lost in the loop and even though she acknowledged before what’s happening she can’t stop it. Then, the key shift happens and the chorus repeats, with the iconic ending “Love love love love--NO!”

(Personally, I like to interpret the last “NO!” as her realizing the full consequences of her actions just as it’s a second too late. Teehee.)

All in all, this song isn’t about teenage pregnancy. That’s the most literal interpretation of the lyrics - a girl carelessly throwing herself into unsafe sex and getting the consequence of pregnancy. But why would she do these things? What’s the underlying message behind that? The sex is a metaphor, guys, I’m not crazy. 

This song is about, TO ME (I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY) getting caught up in a whirl of emotions, and bright-eyed naive you just gets swept up in them while you don’t fully understand them. Even though a part of you is aware of what's happening - and your actions are starting to come back to bite you in the ass - you still continue letting yourself get whirled up in this amazing delightful sensation, and then the consequences of your actions hit you full force. 

As someone with bipolar disorder, this song is just so highly relatable! And it’s why I’m so passionate about it not just being about teenage pregnancy, and instead something more. That amazing whirl of emotion that comes to you like a dream, that takes over your whole life, forces you into impulsivity, hypersexuality, and never thinking about the consequences of your actions. How a part of you wants to aim for recovery but the desire for manic energy nags at your heart, wanting to run deep into the madness. And you ignore the red flags and warning signs, but once everything’s said and done, you’re sat there staring at the horrid consequences of what you’ve done while swept up by mania.

Just to clarify, I am NOT saying this song is about mania. To me it’s about any old whir of emotion you get caught up in. But in the context of mania, it sure is fucking relatable!

Anyway hope that made sense share my ramblings with someone else spread the word kthx bye

[tinkabelle24]

Mixed Signals

Chapter 2: Fallout

A family emergency forces Raph to confront his feelings.

Universe: TMNT (2007)

Relationship/s: Raphael/OC Vall Scott

Tag/s: Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Awkward Flirting, Banter, Babysitting.

A/N: This story takes place prior to the events of Chapter 9 of my main story, To Build a Home.

TW! Blood and Gore (TV depiction).

Chapter 1

---

"Oh, God..." Val grimaced at the partially-devoured dead body lying in the centre of the screen.

Raph's smirk lingered over her as he slowly nibbled away at his popcorn. "Mmm, delicious!"

"Urgh! You're disgusting..."

The pair occupied either end of the three-seater couch; separated by a large bowl of overly salted popcorn, her bottle of water and his coke.

"Remind me again why ya watch these things?" The terrapin enquired, gesturing to the screen. They were following a disoriented Rick Grimes as he wandered through the abandoned hospital; bodies (soldier and civilian) and medical supplies strewn everywhere. "Gore is like, a given, in zombie media; and you can't stand it. Why torture yourself?"

Val covered her flushed cheeks with her palms. "I usually just skip the worst parts..."

"You're a weirdo," Raph chuckled, rolling his eyes as he returned his attention to the show.

A sudden commotion drew Rick's attention down an unexplored corridor; specifically, to a pair of swing doors at the end. As he warily approached, he found they had been chained shut. Several pairs of dirty hands reached through the tiny gap, accompanied by a collection of subdued moans. Lifting his gaze, he read the large, painted notice.

"Don't dead..." Val narrowed her eyes at the screen, confusion clear on her face. "Open... inside? What??"

Raph gawked at her. "You're joking... Val, please tell me you're joking..."

"What-"

"It literally says: Don't Open, Dead Inside," he exclaimed, struggling to contain his laughter. "Not: Don't Dead, Open Inside!" The terrapin's hands flew to his face as he threw his head back; heaving a long, muffled groan. "Ohhh, my God..."

"Oh, c'mon!" Val shoved him playfully, causing a few popcorn pieces to spill out of the bowl. "You can't possibly sit there and tell me it doesn't read like that!"

"No, it doesn't; cos, unlike you, apparently - I can read! How the heck did ya manage to get that from that??"

"Any normal person would go left to right - not down."

"Well, any normal person would look at that and go: Hmm, what makes more sense: the nonsense you just spewed, or the right way?"

"But that's not the right way, though!" Val laughed.

"You're forgettin' the cultures that read vertically," Raph countered smugly. "Like the Japanese-"

"Yeah, but this isn't Japan-" she snapped a finger at the screen. "They're in freakin'... what's it called? Georgia! Atlanta, Georgia!"

The terrapin shrugged, smirk deepening. "There could be Japanese in Georgia; you shouldn't just assume these things, Val-"

"Oh, my God, you're so annoying- stop!" Val buried her face in her hands; he'd made her blush - again.

Raph chuckled as he relaxed into his seat, revelling in her embarrassment. "You're never gonna live this down. Y'know that, right?"

"Yes, I'm well aware of your assholery..." The brunette groaned softly as she lifted her gaze. She couldn't resist - she needed that last laugh. "I'm still right, though-"

"No, ya ain't-"

"Yeah, I am-"

"Nope-"

"Yep-"

"Nuh-uh-"

"Ya-huh-"

Raph gave her a look. "Val..."

"Raph..." She teased.

The terrapin's stomach somersaulted when Val unexpectedly scooted over, brushing her knee against his once she finally relaxed. With a shit-eating grin, she proceeded nudging his plastron, over and over. "I'm right, Raph; you know I am. Say it... Say it, Raph... Say it, Raphie boy-"

"Alright, alright - yes!" He laughed, lunging forward to pin her arm to her side. She attacked with her other hand. "Ah-ah! No, ya don't!" He snatched that wrist, tugging it against him. "I've yielded; that means you stop! Have I taught you nothin'?"

Val scoffed as she yanked herself from his grip. "Don't you remember pawning me off to April, slackass?"

The brunette winced the moment those words left her mouth. Why the fuck would you say that?!

She caught a flicker of hurt in Raph's eyes, before a strained smirk promptly took its place. "Aw, come now, don't be like that... The last time I had ya on the mat, you heel-palmed my jaw so hard, I chipped a tooth. I'm just lookin' out for the rest of my teeth."

"Again, I'm sorry..." Val wracked her brain for a way to tactfully inject her thoughts. "I think there may be something else at play here... It's been weeks since I've seen you smile; like, actually smile, and laugh... Things haven't felt the same between us, since-"

"I'm fine, Val." Raph shook his head. "Despite my bruised ego, I'm perfectly fine; you're fine - we're fine."

"...I'm not."

At that, the terrapin averted his gaze. Please, don't say it. Please, please, please, don't say it...

"I miss you..."

He squeezed his eyes shut, exhaling shakily through clenched teeth.

"Ever since that day, you've been distant with me..." As Val counted each example on her fingers, she attempted catching his gaze. He avoided hers. "No more dinners or movies at mine... No more shit-talk... No more late-night calls or texts - just generic shit... No more GIFs-"

Raph snapped toward her. "GIFs??" He snorted derisively. "That's what you're upset about??"

Val jerked back, as though he'd struck her. The terrapin froze, breath escaping him as they stared at one another. Once the shock finally wore off, he caught tears brimming those big, beautiful eyes.

He'd made her cry.

"I'm pouring my heart out to you, and that's what you take from it?!" She scoffed tearfully, shaking her head. "...You're an asshole."

With that, Val rose from her seat; a panicked Raph reached for her.

"Don't." He'll never forget her face as she wrenched her hand away. She looked ready to explode; he hoped she would - he deserved it.

"I want my friend back..." Her lips trembled as tears finally spilled down her cheeks.

His heart screamed for him to move; to take her into his arms and tell her precisely how much she meant to him, then finally taste the lips he's dreamt of kissing for months...

His body, unfortunately, refused to budge.

The front door lock abruptly clicked, causing the pair to flinch. Whipping toward it, they found April quietly creeping inside, with a bloodied Casey following close behind.

"What the hell happened to you??" Raph grimaced at Casey's battered mouth, then the plastic bag of soiled tissues he gripped.

His best friend gave a cotton-ball filled grin as he attempted to speak. "I... urgh, fu-"

"He skated head first into the glass..." April answered for him; catching Val wiping her cheeks as the latter approached the table to retrieve her belongings.

"You okay?" The redhead mouthed to her; Raph, struggling to focus on his own conversation, found himself eavesdropping.

He couldn't hear, or see (Val's back was toward him) what was being said, but there was a lot of nodding and face touching on the brunette's part.

Then, she turned for the door.

"I'll see you next time," Val nodded to Casey, clearly avoiding Raph's gaze.

Casey's eyes darted between the pair, quirking a disconcerted brow. "Wha tha heck's goin' on??"

"Nothing." Val side-eyed the terrapin as she continued forward. "It's okay. Enjoy the rest of your night."

Raph stepped toward her. "Val-"

April held up a hand, halting him. He pleaded her with his eyes, but she shook her head apologetically.

He watched helplessly as Val left.

---

@android-cap-007 @happymoonangel @miss-andromeda

[p-receh]

Need to rant feel free to ignore :D

Have you seen the new windara poster? I'm very excited for june now, i am SHOCKED at how well the bug aliens look. Also kokotiam's armor design looks so fun and fits so well with the overall bug theme (Gopal and fang are hilarious i cackled when i saw them)

Boi's an ant and theres probably an essay someone already wrote about the meaning behind that, yaya's a lady bug and gosh she looks pretty, ying is a bee and i love the sporty look since bees are very fast bugs so it fits very well (also thank God she finally has a helmet my girl you are basically at a war protect your head dear God) it also fits better than the previously more "mage" look which.. did not make sense to me WHY she was designated that class

Fang and Gopal are Hercules beetle and rhinoceros beetle, which looks absolutely hilarious but makes sense. Again theres probably already an essay out there about the significance of each bug that has been designated for each kokotaim member so i won't bother you on that (though the research is fascinating and i highly recommend!)

Now.. بس�� الله الرحمن الرحيم ...

Consumers. Kindly. SHUT UPPP

Kritics are getting WAY too comfortable, we get it its not based on the comics designs. Infact i'd argue its better since the comics are literally just them with armor. In a bug planet. They have armor. For. Humans. That LOOK human, with the exception of Fang's but do you realize how nonsensical that sounds?

Also we were already told there were going to be changes in the story and design. The creators were very open on that, you don't like the 3d animation design? Great! You have a preference, sure; fantastic happy for you, we have our opinions so kindly. Shut up :D

Look kritics are normal i am not dissing on that, i'm more on people being mad that kokotiam doesn't look as "pretty" or "cool" or whatever and all i can say is. ARMOR IS FOR PRACTICALITY NOT LOOK POINTS WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE ONNNNNNNN

Also adapting a 2d design from a comic to a 3d design is HARD (trust me, blender i both love and hate you) thats not even counting ANIMATING it, you hate the 3d version? Well boi do i have good news for you that theres a 2d version :D its in the comics thats FREE for you to read on webtoon.

There wasn't even supposed to BE a galaxy season 2, there was no preparation for it ehich is why the comics are so different than the status quo. They took risks because there was never a plan for an animated version. So the fact we're getting anything at all for FREE mind you is a BLESSING

You can kritic sure yeah thats fine but use at least polite wording. These are people thats working on these things not your slave.

DON'T JUST SPEW NEGATIVITY AROUND LIKE ITS NOTHING. YOUR RUINING THE FUN FOR EVERYONE; THOSE WHO DIDN'T MIND THE DESIGN CHOICE, THOSE WHO JUST WANNA HAVE FUN, THOSE WHO ARE ENJOYING BBB JUST AS IS.

You have a specific design or writing that cater to you or you enjoy more? Do it yourself :D

Grab a pencil and start writing/sketching. HAVE FUN, you may not like it but not everyone is like that. There are those who like it, there are those who don't mind, there are those who understand that its not easy to create an adaptation.

Moreover the comics and show have very different audiences. Look at the difference between movie 2 and its comic, you can see that some scenes were either soften up or cut entirely because what audience it caters too more

If you want a more serious and emotionally mature view you can go read the comics (they are fantastic btw! Highly recommend movie 2 and the compilations)

Take a deep breath and think for a second. Is this kritic important? Is there an ACTUAL issue with this design choice? Will there be people who feel hurt by your words?

Anyway how was your ramadan and eid? Did you have fun :D ?

ALLAHUAKBAR ANON 🤣🤣

I can feel your emotions went turmoil in your long essay and yet still managed to end it with a smile. Of course I could not ignore yours anon😅

Have you seen the new windara poster?

Definitely~~ :3

The poster fire af!!!!!!!! It packed from top to bottom!

(oooooh I'm scared yet excited for the fully animated version of Beliung omgggg >_<)

I'm very excited for june now, i am SHOCKED at how well the bug aliens look. Also kokotiam's armor design looks so fun and fits so well with the overall bug theme (Gopal and fang are hilarious i cackled when i saw them)

Boi's an ant and theres probably an essay someone already wrote about the meaning behind that, yaya's a lady bug and gosh she looks pretty, ying is a bee and i love the sporty look since bees are very fast bugs so it fits very well (also thank God she finally has a helmet my girl you are basically at a war protect your head dear God) it also fits better than the previously more "mage" look which.. did not make sense to me WHY she was designated that class

Fang and Gopal are Hercules beetle and rhinoceros beetle, which looks absolutely hilarious but makes sense. Again theres probably already an essay out there about the significance of each bug that has been designated for each kokotaim member so I won't bother you on that (though the research is fascinating and I highly recommend)

My biggest spotlight of all for me was how they reimagine the adult characters since well to be fair it has been uhh.... six years ago we had more than a few we had since movie 2? (Sori only had Gaharum and....uuuhh the trio lobster guys that I forgot what their names were in the tv ver :/)

And yes anon. The lady bug, Maripos, General Reramos and Princess Kuputeri. That number alone is a big step up from Sori. We also need to mention the army below in the poster. I highly appreciate they risking themselves by involving more characters like in Galaxy season 1.

To my suprise, I really looove Maripos in this ver. 😘🤌

Wait there's an essay behind Kokotaim's suit? Can I see???👀👀

Now.. بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم ... Consumers. Kindly. SHUT UPPP Kritics are getting WAY too comfortable, we get it its not based on the comics designs. Infact i'd argue its better since the comics are literally just them with armor. In a bug planet. They have armor. For. Humans. That LOOK human, with the exception of Fang's but do you realize how nonsensical that sounds? Also we were already told there were going to be changes in the story and design. The creators were very open on that, you don't like the 3d animation design? Great! You have a preference, sure; fantastic happy for you, we have our opinions so kindly. Shut up :D Look kritics are normal i am not dissing on that, i'm more on people being mad that kokotiam doesn't look as "pretty" or "cool" or whatever and all i can say is. ARMOR IS FOR PRACTICALITY NOT LOOK POINTS WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE ONNNNNNNN Also adapting a 2d design from a comic to a 3d design is HARD (trust me, blender i both love and hate you) thats not even counting ANIMATING it, you hate the 3d version? Well boi do i have good news for you that theres a 2d version :D its in the comics thats FREE for you to read on webtoon. There wasn't even supposed to BE a galaxy season 2, there was no preparation for it ehich is why the comics are so different than the status quo. They took risks because there was never a plan for an animated version. So the fact we're getting anything at all for FREE mind you is a BLESSING You can kritic sure yeah thats fine but use at least polite wording. These are people thats working on these things not your slave. DON'T JUST SPEW NEGATIVITY AROUND LIKE ITS NOTHING. YOUR RUINING THE FUN FOR EVERYONE; THOSE WHO DIDN'T MIND THE DESIGN CHOICE, THOSE WHO JUST WANNA HAVE FUN, THOSE WHO ARE ENJOYING BBB JUST AS IS. You have a specific design or writing that cater to you or you enjoy more? Do it yourself :D Grab a pencil and start writing/sketching. HAVE FUN, you may not like it but not everyone is like that. There are those who like it, there are those who don't mind, there are those who understand that its not easy to create an adaptation. Moreover the comics and show have very different audiences. Look at the difference between movie 2 and its comic, you can see that some scenes were either soften up or cut entirely because what audience it caters too more If you want a more serious and emotionally mature view you can go read the comics (they are fantastic btw! Highly recommend movie 2 and the compilations) Take a deep breath and think for a second. Is this kritic important? Is there an ACTUAL issue with this design choice? Will there be people who feel hurt by your words?

ANON CALM DOWN

I absolutely understand your feeling, sister/brother. 😅

I think I already written an essay, twice. Either if it's your ask box or not I'm just gonna put it here

and here.

My version gonna be a bit different from yours, so bear with me anon. Every perspective from each individual is still counted as subjective, no matter how objective they are, including myself.

Ehem.

Me personally... I'm on both sides of the group. I can understand why some people are angry about the suit design because I'm gonna be honest, even tho there were two different media between the comic and the tv/movie, staying in the source material without changing anything is essential to any adaptation series.

So the way people are furious with it. I can see where are they come from.

'The Kokotiam armor suit is heavily different than the comic ver?' Valid; 'Still use the chubbier render ver from Sori when this arc starts to get darker?' Valid.

And other takes that I obviously ignore since that were just beyond logic. I kid you not, anon. When they posted it the first time, my instinct was muting all words related to Boboiboy or spending my timeline with another topic. Because your frustration was my biggest worry that came true.

But at the same time, not many franchise could do the same strategy. Sometimes, refurbishing them without losing the source material could also work WITH extra proper care and permission from many parties. Because this tactic is such a gamble to please anyone. I also highly recommend studying the story behind the redesign of Sonic Movie 2020, Pre-Launch-Post Launch, and the impact on its linked franchises.

(Well to be fair the MCU franchise starting from Spiderman 1 was also a good topic to study)

So my bet is...maybe Monsta doing the latter strategy. It is risky for sure, I can guarantee that when they published it on YouTube since og era. But I can see the reason for their decision. Designing a proper armor for their planet's theme is genius tho. Big bonus to differentiate each bug for Kokotiam's gang that has meaning to them.

(Were they attempted to make Bug's Life in Boboiboy series? Lol😅)

Critics aside, people need to know, that even tho the comic looks dope as heck, Boboiboy's first release was on the screen, not on the paper. The screen audience within SEA is waaaay higher than the comic enthusiast. Therefore comics, in this case, is a fan service. You don't need to know the details, but you might get curious to search behind the scenes further.

(That's what I do after I finished Sori btw.)

There are advantages & disadvantages of Monsta releasing the second season comic first before the animated ver. The launch of the Mechamato series and Galaxy 2nd season may or may not help Monsta during the pandemic. Monsta's mini-series about covid awareness also helped them to survive.

Yet, people treat the Boboiboy franchise now are kinda similar to how people demanded things from an animated series that adapted from the manga. Which... Uuuh a bit unhealthy to be honest.

But again as I said before, at the end of the day, criticism especially from the internet always wants what they ask, not what the creators want.

This is also the reason for my decision to not meddle my interest further on the internet. The damaged left me a scar from my previous fandom that I'm at this point I'm toooo lazy to engage more in the community.

(But that doesn't mean I don't like the franchise anymore tho. I still love it af)

Anyway how was your ramadan and eid? Did you have fun :D ?

Alhamdulillah anon! My schedule really packed pre-during-and post Ramadhan!

I went to two towns for "mudik" tradition before and after ramadhan for the first time after the pandemic! (for outdonesian or maybe outside of malaysian as well, it's like a Christmas gathering at grandparent's house... I guess(?)).

It was such a wholesome trip for sure! but boy I did need some time to adjust too(It was a challenging ride if you have a place at the mountains🤢)

My ramadhan month was also busy with working as a part-time job at my family stand. It is tough to sell things that were really not on the most target wanted.

But Allhamdulillah most of them were sold! I'm soo relieved! 😆😆

And because it was a holy month, I really need to take a rest from any social media. I still use them honestly, but not as many as before.

Now I'm struggling to get my drawing and writing enthusiasm back.

Hope you also had a wonderful ramadhan too, Anon!😆👍

[nerajaana]

Jonsa metas be like: Extended Cut

The miniature rant version

Yeah. We’re getting tons of romantic content in that corner. Totes. What else is the purpose of Jon Snow’s resurrection? Or rather, what even is the other purpose for Jon Snow’s existence, if not a prop to make their innocent-compassionate-empathetic af precious birb a Princess/Queen/GodEmpress?

(if they could have their way she’d be ascended to Godhood at this rate)

69? That's your foreshadowing? You wanna convince people your ship's canon based on a mfing position number? What are we, middle schoolers?!

My remaining two braincells cannot handle this poetic parallel😔😩✊🏻

Ok real talk folks.....what’s in that kool aid kid?

Listen, after pulling crap like this, you all have no rights to defend yourselves when we rightfully call you out on this. Absolutely none. No amount of mental gymnastics can justify this.

Presenting to you 🥁🥁🥁 Quotes by Jon comparing his first love to his sister🥁🥁🥁:

“She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier. It was hard to tell how plump or thin Ygritte might be, with all the furs and skins she wore.”

“"If you kill a man, and never meant', he's just as dead," Ygritte said stubbornly. Jon had never met anyone so stubborn, except maybe for his little sister Arya. Is she still my sister? he wondered. Was she ever?”

...... soz there ain’t any about Sansa. I checked in the back and all I promise.

And, hate to break it to ya but, remember Catelyn of Houses Tully and Stark? Yeah, she kinda, y’know, carried the zygote that grew into a fetus over a period of nine months and pushed the said fetus out whom they named Arya. Half of her mother, half a Tully. Thus, half a fish. Pretty sure there’s even a fish reference that jon made towards Arya regarding her swimming.

............So?

Let's give this a serious consideration. Firstly, lemme get this lil point out in the open: foreshadowing is wildly different from coincidences. Coincidence is there being a Jon(nel) and a Sansa in the same time period in the family, just like the current generation. Parallel/foreshadowing would look something like this:- Jon, who's the half brother of Rickon, just like Jonnel was to Cregan's heir Rickon, would marry the older daughter of Rickon (my son my boyyyy <3<3<3) in a distant future. Capisce?

And finally, the icing on the cake. My personal favourite 🙂

Look, it's bad enough that the writer decided to pepper in cursed bits throughout the books that make an incestuous pairing highly likely. (by incest i mean the emotional aspect of it, it's not the cousincest or the aunt-nephew bit that peeves me off. It was a common occurrence in the medieval feudalistic society and is still prevalent in today's day and age). At the end of the day, they grew up as siblings. Fighting over which sister gets the “prize” that's Jon Snow is ridiculous beyond measure. We didn't start off reading these humongous books thinking "oh this would be a splendid time to ship an incest otp uwu" like no. the only reason I didn't break into tears every time Jon had a very non fraternal thought while reading is because i knew by then, for sure that they're cousins and not siblings (y'all either never had siblings or think fictional siblings work on a different wavelength). Take it up with the author, demand why he chose this sister and not the other for his fOrbiDdEn rOmancE trope. Grab him by shoulders and shake an answer out of him. None of us asked for this ffs. We reached to a conclusion based on what's there in print, not what isn't and simply assuming that there are hidden meanings or that the narrator is so fucking unreliable that he's naming one and thinking of the other or something equally delusional. Dude's literal last thought was Stick them with a pointy end. Which, by the way, is strictly between Jon and Arya, just like Needle. Just like the quote "Different roads sometimes lead to the same castle". And "What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister?" They're all exclusive to them both and them both only.

To all of these asoiaf experts, I'd like to say one thing: For all of his flaws and fallacies, G.R.R.Martin is a brilliant writer. He's not some stupid Oracle of Delphi, sitting in his little ancient greek cave and spewing nonsense and talking in circles. Writers leave out clues in the open, not hide them under the guise of different fucking names for gods sakes.

I'm all for shipping whoever you wanna ship, gods know i have a never ending list- most of them being rarepairs or crackships. But I don't go around twisting canon into something it isn't and subject to mental gymnastics to the point where nothing makes sense anymore. And, read the bloody books before you firmly place your faith in something. Quora/Reddit/Tumblr metas shouldn't be the basis for it. The language is pretty straightforward- if I, a non native english speaker can get it, then so can you.

Cheers.

[svtyeongwonhi]

Yandere!Seventeen Reaction - S/O has a male bff

BGM - Seventeen - Crazy In Love

❝It’s okay because it’s the two of us, Crazy in love crazy in love You and I are untainted Crazy in love crazy in love I believe you, I don’t doubt you Past, present and future, Crazy in love crazy in love❞

Anon -  Hiiii can I ask yandere!Seventeen's reaction to s/o having a male bff?

Hello~ Thank you for the request!! Just to bring a twist, I’ll make the male bff as different idols!! Enjoy~

S.Coups

When Seungcheol first met your bestie Kevin, he was open-minded which you didn’t expect at all. He was kind and sweet to Kevin that even he was surprised by your significant other’s personality. However, that wasn’t the case with Coups, he was only portraying a nice image, so if Kevin were to cross any boundaries, Coups would pounce on him when he least expects.

Jeonghan

Jeonghan would simp for Kangmin. Your bestie legit was the cutest little brother to you, and his charms got to Jeonghan too! Like Jeonghan literally could not stop smiling since he first saw Kangmin and was gushing over him so much, that you almost felt like you were third-wheeling!

“What a baby, your hair is so soft!” *Pats Kangmin’s hair*

“Yaa!! I’m your s/o!!” You burst out “Sorry honey, but Kangmin’s cuter”

I’m not crying you are ㅠㅠ

Joshua

Gentleman Joshua, as his friends call him, will live up to his nickname and treat your best friend Felix with lots of affection. After all, he was there for you even before Joshua. But that doesn’t mean that he won’t do a background check on Lixxie. After he makes sure that Felix is trustable, will he let his guard down, to some extent at least

Jun

Jun would be somewhat reserved whenever you were hanging out with your BFF San. He didn’t mind but he would gently advise you to be wary of others, indirectly pointing towards San. He was concerned about you and only says stuff like that so that you would be protected. But if you still didn’t abide, Jun would try to make San distance himself away from you.

“I understand, y/n, but he is still a man you know? You have an innocent image of him but some people are not like that”

Hoshi

Hoshi on the other hand would be glaring at you two always. Each and every time you felt the sensation of someone watching you, it will be Hoshi without a doubt. Sometime you knew, other times you didn’t but he would be completely silent about your best friend, even if you were to ask him anything about Sunoo, he’ll end the conversation then and there. He wouldn’t want to accidentally spill his ideas about Sunoo anyways, about how he was meticulously planning to destroy him.

Wonwoo

Wonwoo would ponder about Xion a lot, your best friend Xion was interesting according to Wonwoo and would always say that he can’t get into his head, whatever that meant, you would just let it slide because he was spewing nonsense. But Wonwoo was confused, Xion doesn’t seem like he is a danger or anything but something always rubs him the wrong way, he does plan to find it out soon though.

“Did you have a good lunch with Xion?” “Ahh, that’s good to hear- Oh by any chance was he wearing any accessories today?” “No? Okay, just asking”

Woozi

Woozi would be jealous of all the attention you would give to Baekhyun, like how could you be spending so much time with him when Jihoon was right here? Woozi would give you a solid 5 minutes after his patience ran out, after which he will come straight to you both and smoothly slide his hands into yours and make some sort of excuse and leave right away.

“Oh Baekhyun! Good to see you” *Intertwines his fingers into yours* 

“Unfortunately, Y/n and I have an event to attend. We’ll catch you later”

The8

Myungho and Yeonjun are pretty chill, like almost bro level chill, Myungho knew well that Yeonjun was genuinely just a best friend and nothing more, and he made sure it stayed that way. But Myungho will stalk you guys if you two head out.

“Hey Yeonjun, how’s it going?” “Where are you guys heading out?” “Okay, come back soon you two” *follows you two secretively after a while*

Mingyu

Mingyu and Seungwoo would be bickering any time, like take any mundane subject there is, and I bet you these two will be fighting over it. The biggest fights they have will be because of you. When you once suggested all three of you going to the amusement park, they fought like actual children to sit beside you in Every. Single. Ride. Honestly, you almost dropped everything and left before they two grabbed you and fought while making sure you didn’t escape.

“That doesn’t make sense!! I’m y/n’s boyfriend that’s why I should sit beside y/n!” “Nope, nope, nope, nope, not listening to another thing!” “Hey! Where are you going?!” *grabs you and holds you in place* “No, you listen to me now-”

DK

Dokyeom would have a low tolerance rate with Bomin. He would give it a few days before he kidnapped Bomin and kept him under in his basement. He would obtain all information about y/n from Bomin and let him go after brainwashing him so that he would not say a single thing.

“Tell me about y/n’s childhood with all of the details. I’ll cross-check with y/n so if you miss out on even one detail, I’ll break a finger. Sounds fair?

Seungkwan

Oh boy, Seungkwan could have scared Jackson away, but your best friend was no less. These two could diss each other for hours with the amount of sass they had, but it was all in a friendly manner and never escalated. Most of the time you guys hung out together in your home, watching movies, having sleepovers, going out for long drives or picnics and it was the best thing ever because both Seungkwan and Jackson were entertaining in whatever they did.

Vernon

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Vernon could only count down the seconds each time you were either talking about Johnny or planning to go out with him. It didn’t make any sense. You only need Vernon in your life, not Johnny. Only 2 days later, Johnny went missing or so you were told because Vernon had kept you locked up in your home ever since. He was still calm as ever which made it, even more, scarier for you, to think that the once gentle Vernon had turned into such a monster that could be so calm regardless of his horrendous deeds.

“You want to go out? I can get you everything you want?” “Fresh air? Here, I’ll open up a window for you”

Dino

Dino had no issues with you having Wonho as your BFF. He trusted you enough to believe that at the end of the day, Dino is going to be the one who you are going to come back. And even Wonho thought of you as a little sister so he would not be too bothered by you guys interacting at all.

A/N - Wow! I really let my multi stan shine in this one XD, this took me longer than expected but it was really fun to do, also I absolutely adore all the idols that I have stated here and I’ll provide their names with their groups down below, please stan <3 they are all amazing in their own ways.

1. Kevin from The Boyz 

2. Kangmin from Verivery

3. Felix from Stray Kids

4. San from ATEEZ

5. Sunoo from ENHYPEN

6. Xion from ONEUS

7. Baekhyun from EXO

8. Yeonjun from TXT

9. Han Seungwoo from VICTON/ Former X1

10. Bomin from Golden Child

11. Jackson from GOT7

12. Johnny from NCT

13. Wonho - Solo [Former Monsta X]

[karmasuna]

Hooray! Can I request headcanons for Bakugou, Deku and Todoroki who get harrassed by a fortune teller, who either warns them about something bad or good happening around their crush. Fortune tellers on the street is not uncommon in Japan, but this one could be more accurate since it's their quirk. Like, beware, the one you want to impress you will do the opposite, or take a detour today and you;ll be rewarded for it. It's nonsense til it;s true

inch resting 👀 i shall write it (ALSO IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG 🥺)

Bakugo Katsuki

○ he literally only went into the tent because the fortune teller would not stop giving him weird glances as he walked by and seemed to be muttering something about sensing a strong hero nearby as he walked past 

○ so when he storms in and sits down in the tent he’s fully expecting her to tell him things about his hero career and what he has to do to become the number one hero

○ he’s definitely pissed when she gives him a look and starts talking about his love life of all things

○ yelling at the woman that he hadn’t come in to hear her spew shit about love and how he didn’t want to know any of it

○ “It’s my quirk, honey. I can tell what you want to know the most at this moment.”

○ that shuts him up, mostly because he was embarrassed of the fortune teller seeing right through him

○ and he listens quietly as she tells him at which ages major events will happen to him and the usual things when she seems to suddenly realize something

○ telling him urgently that he needed to buy whoever he held so dear in his heart a present

○ obviously he’s really skeptical about it, but she’s proved that she is accurate to some extent

○ so he buys some snacks that he knew you liked and hastily throwing together a snack box before returning to the dorms, knocking on your door to give them to you

○ he’s definitely not expecting you to get all teary-eyed when you see him and the snacks, asking you what was wrong and if he could do anything for you

○ you tell him you’re just happy and didn’t expect this at all, explaining that your pet had passed away two years ago today, and you were just feeling a little down and emotional from it

○ Bakugo makes a mental note to go back to the psychic woman and give her a huge tip for this

○ you invite him into your room and show him pictures of your pet, telling him stories and just remiscising 

○ somehow you end up curled up on your bed together, you leaning against his warm chest as he looks over your shoulder, watching as you show him photos on your phone

○ “I’ll always be there for you, dumbass. So don’t waste your fuckin’ time moping around alone whenever you’re sad and just tell me, yeah?”

Midoriya Izuku

○ Midoriya’s roped into stepping into the tiny shop by Tsuyu and Uraraka with the rest of their group when they’re all hanging out together

○ the fortune teller insists on seeing everyone individually, so the five of them take turns seeing her and getting their fortunes told

○ and since fortune telling is pretty much her quirk, he is quite excited to see what she can tell him and the capabilities of her quirk

○ it’s definitely way more accurate than he expected, though surprisingly vague

○ she tells a very confused Midoriya to keep an eye on puddles the next time he sees them 

○ he keeps it in mind, but he doesn’t exactly know what she means

○ until you’re out and about with him one day and it just suddenly starts raining, so you both run for cover together

○ and he sees that you’re about to step into a puddle, and he straight up dives for you as he sees you slip, catching you right as you were about to hit the ground

○ his back’s very very sore after diving to the floor to cushion your fall, but it’s worth it if you’re okay, and the way you flush up so prettily as you thank him and try to help him dry off just makes him so happy

○ “Don’t worry about it, Y/N! I’m fine as long as you are.” 

Todoroki Shoto

○ this man legit goes to see the fortune teller himself because he heard Mina talk about how the girls had gotten interesting information from her since she had a genuine premonition quirk

○ he’s all serious about it too, preparing a list of questions and a little notebook to write down anything that might be important

○ she gives him a list of seemingly random but ominous instructions that he writes down very carefully and always keeps in mind, like “don’t walk over orange carpet,”  “don’t wear green clothing on wednesdays,” and “keep your loved ones away from cats with green eyes”

○ he tells you all about it too, like what the fortune teller had told him to do and even suggested for you to go see her too

○ it’s almost comedic the way he talks about her quirk, as if he were doing a commercial for her and advertising her powers to you

○ but you don’t really think that much about it, just encouraging him to listen to her if it makes him feel better or safer

○ until one day Eri comes to visit your dorms, a green-eyed kitten in her arms, and she tries to let you hold it

○ and Todoroki literally shoves you out of the way as you reach out to pet the soft kitten, just barely helping you avoid its sudden attack on you, claws just snagging onto the hem on your shirt 

○ “The fortune teller told me to keep my loved ones away from green-eyed cats,” he states simply.

○ “Todoroki, y-you consider me a loved one?”

○ “You’re very important to me, Y/N.”

[nightswithkookmin]

still same anon. this was another one of my asks from months ago. basically it was a comment I made about jikook's intimacy. it was from this interview: https://youtu.be/T--BOS8oTec the moment I'm talking about happens from 3:00 minute timestamp onwards. i was saying how despite this moment being "skinship" or whatever, it kinda hit different? there's also intimacy there. bc you see how jimin doesn't have to say anything and jungkook immediately understands what to do and starts massaging his neck. jimin literally threw a glance at him, tilted his neck a lil and jungkook didn't need a second more to know what to do. I wanted to talk to you about it since I know that you're not big on skinship defining jikook's relationship, but I think there ARE jikook skinship moments worth noting and this is one of them imo.

Oh ok. Thanks.

SKINSHIP IN CONTEXT

I think skinship by it's very definition is an intimate act depending on the level of familiarity between the parties involved in the act.

From my understanding of skinship, it's basically interactions that would otherwise be viewed as sexual outside of their culture but viewed as acceptable platonic behavior between the same sex or even the opposite sex.

The objective of skinship is to be intimate with another person on a level that's only next to romance.

I remember my sister telling me how shook she was when she found out for the first time, around 2011 when she first moved to Seoul, how she couldn't even keep her pants on at a 'Jimjirban' because all the gals in there were expected to walk around butt naked in the spa. No towels, no pants, no robes butt nakedttt.

'Mehn, this doesn't happen where I'm coming from' she said to her companion.

A. I'm black.

B. I'm not flat.

C. I'm wearing my pants.

Her very naked friend, a native SK, whom she says she'd only met for like a week, then grabbed her underwear and pulled it down her thighs exposing her deforested vagina to the winds and a dozen other curious gazes. All females.

'For a second, I thought I had been tricked into an orgy of a sort. I was very naked without my consent. Wind whistling through my shy butt cracks. Watching very naked females of varying ages stare on with pride and smiles on their faces as if I had just saved a village or something and when I jiggled when I walked I could hear them gasp, amazed- Goldy, how is this not gay?'

'You think skinship between their men is weird, wait till you see their women. Wait till a very attractive Korean girl is breathing down your neck and caressing your nape and complementing your skin while showing you pictures of her boyfriend on her phone.'

She says it took her a while to get used to the skinship between women in SK and seeing the men interact in a certain way messed with her brains for a while. She said she felt her intelligence was being played with most of the time.

I guess if you want to look at Jikook's skinship as intimate then there's nothing wrong it.

Skinship is intimate at the very least.

But skinship, for all intent and purposes, is platonic and nonsexual in nature. And maybe this is a fatal flaw on my part. Or maybe thanks to my sister, I'm desensitized to this form of interaction but I have a hard time seeing Jikook's intimacy as platonic or even seeing most of their skinship as romantic- in anyway. It will make sense in a bit, hold on.

I have a hard time equating skinship with romantic intimacy. But that's just me.

I wasn't able to click on the link you sent but I'm guessing this is the moment you are talking about?

I wouldn't call this skinship. I mean it is but I wouldn't call it that. Skinship is meant to show how close two people are. How familiar they are with eachother.

This doesn't show how close Jikook are. But It shows how caring and affectionate JK is as human being, as a dongsaeng, and as a boyfriend.

I'd rather we celebrate that. JK doesn't get highlighted enough. He caters to the people he cares about. He is an attentive person.

Hate to be a grinch but I can pull up a couple of times JK has done that very gesture with Jin or Tae or Hobi. Remember Soop? Remember when Jin complained of feeling cold and JK went up to him immediately and 'warmed' him up?

Of course, Jimin kept stealing glances at him like he could throw a shoe at the back of his head if he could but that's beside the point.

The man is an empath. He's said several times he feels a lot of pain watching his hyungs go through it. Fact is, Jk cares about people. He's kind, loving and he shows this aspect of him through gestures like these.

He does it for Jimin. He does it for all the members because as he's said, they are all a family.

It's stressful hearing people claim he doesn't give a fuck about Jimin, that he doesn't care about JM because he shows affections for others besides JM.

At some point we would have to make a distinction between what acts flows from their unique personalities because of who they are at their core and what act flows from them being a couple.

Most people who see Jimin as a natural nurturer and what not are able to separate this identity from his ship moments but JK isn't accorded the same privilege. It is why most people are quick to lash out at him when he interacts with others in the same way he interacts with Jimin.

When JM acts nurturing towards V or RM or Suga he is seen a good, kind person.

When JK does something affectionate it's seen as a beautiful Jikook moment or Taekook moment or Jinkook moment and is soon swept under the carpet, soon forgotten and never tied to the personality of JK- perhaps because most of these shippers don't care to know who JK is as a person and as a human.

When Jimin does something affectionate its 'awww Jimin is such an amazing person' even if that act is merely performative sometimes.

I try not to engage in conversations that perpetuate this horrifying discrimination against either of Jikook. They are both individuals.

There are a lot of Asks sitting in my box highlighting the various ways JM is awesome and kind and amazing as s boyfriend to JK and not a single out of 500 plus posts talking about how empathetic JK really is. How thoughtful he is to even pack motion sickness drugs to go on trips even though he doesn't get motion illness and JM is the one that often complains about motion sickness on trips.

The heteronormative lens, on opposite ends of the spectrum in the shipping community, which dictates we perceive on Jikook as either feminine or masculine is a telltale sign of the misogyny and misandry prevalent within this fandom.

The fandom's heteronormative lens filters Jimin as the wildly feminine archetype, wildly fragile, sexy and womanly right down to the way we praise him as the 'good woman' in his relationship with JK- loyal, faithful, nurturing, kind, silent in that he continues to perform Jikook even when Jikook are not in a great place. etc.

Yet because he is seen as womanly or feminine, the part of the fandom that hates women hate Jimin. That's where all the slut shaming, bullying and harassment stems from- misogyny.

Jk is viewed as the opposite of that. By most, he is very masculine man and as such harbors all the traits of masculinity the modern woman detests- toxic masculinity, cheating, disloyal, fuckboy who treats women like shit. All forms of hatred and intolerance towards men is projected on to him especially by male intolerant people or dare I say feminist women within the fandom.

And you see them in the way they are always fighting for Jimin against JK as if Jimin were a fragile faithful woman whose man don't treat him right thus further perpetuating the heteronormative stereotypes of Jimin.

What's disconcerting is Jikook are both men and yet depending on how their masculinity or femininity is perceived, they are both treated very differently.

You hear Tuktukkers talk about how Jikook is as a result of heteronormativity and thus prescribe Taekook as the ideal homonormative ship- because to them, Tae and JK are both seen as two whole men.

To them Jimin is just not man enough to even be gay- isn't that the foundation of homophobia?

Gay men not seen as men at all?

Whereas amongst Jokers, Jimin's manliness is often forgiven and JK's is abhorred. Jk is too much of a man and men just ain't shit.

This may sound like an over simplification but Tuktukkers hate women, Jokers hate men and either side suck. In my opinion.

Jimin is a nurturer he cares about people including his boyfriend. JK is an empath he feels the pain of those close to him including his boyfriend and is often moved to ease or take away some of that pain.

It's thus annoying to hear people out here yell and complain on every turn each time JK interacts with the others how JK 'doesn't act exclusive' with Jimin or how he doesn't care about Jimin.

Should he not care about anyone besides Jimin just because he is dating Jimin?

It's annoying when they say the same about Jimin. Jimin nurtures everyone ergo there's nothing special or exclusive about the way he nurtures JK.

Nonsense such as these are spewed without taking into account that those acts in themselves speak directly to who these people are as human beings first and foremost; secondly, to how they feel about the person at the recieving end of their affections.

If they are treating everyone the same it's probably because they love everyone too- in a non romantic way of course. It's their love language. They love others with the same heart they love eachother with.

It doesn't take away from how they feel about eachother. JK admiring another member does not mean when he admires Jimin it's nothing. It just mean he admires Jimin too.

Not everything has to be romanticized or given a romantic context. They are each expressing themselves and their feelings for their bandmates. It's about them not their bandmates or their relationship with said bandmates.

Certain moments are just attestation to their love language be it platonic or romantic and it says more about who they are as people than what their relationship with the other person is. It's not all about their relationship.

People need to start treating Jikook as individuals. They are humans first before a ship. Shipping them shouldn't take away from their authentic expressions of self.

That's how they each end up getting cussed out in these streets left and right.

It's ridiculous.

This is JK being JK. Imma leave it at that.

This is from the same interview where Tae was talking about how they love showcasing their bond.

It's ok to celebrate it. Just see it for what it is- as flowing from JK's kind self. This is not Jikook. This is JK. Jeon Jungkook.

Don't fume or act disappointed when you see him do the same kind gesture for another member just because of the meaning you are imposing on this moment. Know what I mean?

That being said, there are certain Jikook 'skinship' moments that crosses the line of skinship right into sexual foreplay.

If 'skinship' leaves you 'sexually excited' it's not skinship. Nobody can tell me nothing.

Make of this moment what you will. Just be responsible with it. I think. But don't mind me. I'm grumpy.

Signed,

GOLDY

[spelviin]

honestly one of the most incredible things abt tma to me personally is that it finally, finally got me to actually enthusiastically accept the concept of ambiguous endings

(this ended up being just pretty nonsensical ramblings about a year old podcast sry)

like, i was fine with them before. from an objective media-analysis standpoint i could be like, "yeah i get what they're going for here and why it's more beneficial artistically to leave the ending open," but on an emotional level, i lowkey just as a person really wanted solid closure if that makes sense?

but then tma comes along, and it turns out the way to overpower my desire for solid word-of-god closure is to take a character, make me care deeply about them, and then put them through literally every possible trauma nonstop for hundreds of episodes, by which point the ambiguous ending offers not questions and a lack of closure, but the faintest sliver of hope of peace (and god forbid genuine happiness) for said characters.

like this is genuinely the first time in my life i have actually seen an ambiguous ending as the gift it really is. as freedom to either draw your own conclusions, or let the story rest as presented without trying to imagine what does or doesn't come next.

(and like, full disclosure, as much as i'd like to be the latter of those options from an artsy perspective, i am very very much the former. like, i fully believe deep in my core in my own personal headcanon that they ended up somewhere else and got to be blissful and happy and normal (after working their shit out ofc, "couples therapy somewhere else" being my fave genre of fanfiction recently lmao) and i don't even feel like it's a cop out or anything?

like, i don't think it's a "blah blah she's too much of a wimp to engage with the tragedy" thing, because like. i spent 199 episodes engaging with the tragedy. i went into this with the expectation, just from what i'd seen on my dash the past few years, that they were both just gonna straight up, onscreen, canonically die. and i grappled with that from the moment i got attached to them as characters, to the point where i was legit sobbing about it when i got to like the final 10 episodes and i had to listen to hadestown for a bit to calm myself down and make peace with it (bc hadestown was the media that made me enthusiastically embrace tragedy lol) and anyways. all this to say i fully, deeply appreciate the concept of a less optimistic ending for the characters as was evidently intended.

but that also makes the gift of ambiguity we got that much nicer, imo? like that freedom, for the first time that i've experienced, really truly feels like a privilege rather than a burden.

anyways this probably doesn't make any sense at all i just had a lot of Feelings i needed to spew about how this podcast works and i definitely didn't come close to doing them justice but well.

sometimes you just gotta slam out some nonsense bc a podcast got you to emotion too hard.

[badass-at-fandoming]

THE END IS NEVER NEVER IS THE END

The writer's decision to put Riam, Logan, and Noah in one room together was brilliant and hilarious. If you want to know how we got here, check out Part 5.

One Shenanigan I forgot last time was Logan handcuffed MC to him. He's like, "I'm tired of you getting pulled away, so put this on. They can't separate us now!" asdfghjkl;fsdana He gives MC's wrist a little kissy kiss under the cuff and [clutches chest]

Anyway, freshly cuddled and cuffed, MC and Logan travel to Riam's warehouse and make a racket so Riam and Noah will show up. The three LIs shit talk each other, but the roast fest in interrupted when Aria and the CIA kick down the doors! Oh no!

Aria shows up and spews some horseshit that I'm not going to repeat. Her words tear MC to pieces metaphorically, and her bullet literally rips MC's leg to pieces. Now, the narration says MC is shot in the calf, but with how freaked out everyone gets and how MC acts, he must have been shot in the thigh? Cause there's a "nicked the femoral artery" amount of damage.

In his infinite wisdom, Logan...blows up parts of the building to destabilize it more and yanks/princess-carries MC away. 😂 But the CIA are gaining on him, and MC starts getting into the fun, delirious part of blood loss. All the hurt, all the grief: it comes to the fore, and MC begs Logan to kill him. Throughout the game, Logan has threatened MC's life, and it's shimmered between affectionate (your life is mine; my life is yours) and serious (I'll get back at you for betraying me!). MC has already proven he can't kill Logan, so this is the story moment Logan proves he can't murder MC. Despite MC slowing him down, despite MC reminding him of all the reasons Logan should hate MC, Logan can't do it. We have a CG:

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Logan Harris CG 3, In the dark of the night in a crumbling warehouse, Logan points his gun at the viewer and cries.]]

How am I supposed to emotionally recover from this!!!! Hahahaha. Since Logan prefers to wrap MC's wound in ripped shirt bits and leave lil smooches on MC's fingers, MC insists Logan flee and rescue him later.

So MC is with the CIA now! In their super secret recovery room. Aria visits him, and we have the First Confrontation in a Serious of Confrontations. Turns out Aria IS the mole, from the very beginning. SHE'S the one who's been slipping mafia members info, who killed the drug manufacturer; who poisoned the old boss. All of this is part of some deranged and nonsensical plan to put MC as a puppet ruler of the gang and "control" the local crime scene.

Counterpoint: you could just use your SEVEN YEARS of evidence to eliminate all organized crime.

ANYWAY, MC convinces Aria that "no, no, your plans make PERFECT sense and isn't it sad my sister died and you couldn't find the time to tell me for years." She puts him back in Operation Footless Bird to try to catch Riam, Logan, and Noah. Except!!! No one expects the secret chess!!! MC and Noah play Internet chess together and move their pieces to form a code and it's so clever and cute y'all.

MC chess-moves his way to "meet me at the docks," and the men pause their sassing long enough to go. A stranger informs them that MC will meet them on a boat, with the idea that they will all flee the country together. I know Cinamon Games is just using a generic dock background, but the escape boat is like...a tall ship according to the art 😂. Logan takes one look at it and says that if MC isn't on the boat, "I'm throwing every single f*cker in that f*cking boat to the f*cking sea." LOL (also yes, Cinamon Games will censor words like fuck and cock. I have no idea why. They have full frontal suicide, but we're not allowed to see the vowel of the fuck word).

Guess what: MC is not on the boat. He wants his beloved/beloatheds to flee to freedom! I think if MC had actually been on the boat, everyone would have run and we could have a polycule ending but no!! THAT DOES NOT FULFILL THE DRAMA QUOTA. You know what does? Noah yeeting himself into the ocean asdfghjkalsdkflkj

You read that right! Noah fucking. THROWS himself into the ocean to get back to MC that much faster. He hacks into the choker's signal (yes, MC still has a bomb on his neck; yes, I hate it) and meets MC in the gang's hotel. Which is good because Aria was burning off the pads of MC's fingers. #Yikes

For realsies tho!! IDK why Aria is so [pikachu face] when MC doesn't want to work with her. While the love interests were on a boat (yeah!), MC tried to act sus enough so Aria would follow him to the hotel. A distraction, yanno. You get a choice to visit one of the mens' rooms and receive a special item. I've played twice, so I know that Noah's has his old dog tags, from his trainee days aka the location of their meet-cute. Logan's room has a note next to a box and inside the box is...a wedding ring. 😭 MY BOYYYYYY.

Aria discovers MC and his ploy, which leads to burning fingies, which leads to Noah breaking an innocent window, smacking Aria, and racing out into the night with our hero. Obviously it is now time for Cuddles and Snuggles and Homoerotic Tending of Wounds. Noah takes MC to a roach motel to recover and wait for the others. If you're going for Noah's endings, you can chose to ask him to "help MC shower." 👀

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Noah Young CG 3, Noah hugs MC from behind in the shower. Coy, he places a finger in MC's mouth, and MC licks it. If not for the laws of this land, MC and Noah would be naked. Right now Noah's wearing a white shirt and MC's wearing shorts. Despite being in the shower, haha.]]

It's truly sugartooth sweet, Noah's route. Everything I suspected him of before was actually Aria. 😡 There's a sense that MC wants to die with Logan, but he wants to live with Noah. I think Noah + Logan + MC is my ideal ending.

But that's what fix-it fic is for! Once morning comes, Riam and Logan knock down the door. Whether you choose to have sex with Noah or not, Logan will find MC and him cuddled on the bed together. This doesn't go over well, and you can fish for Charm and/or Heart points to defuse that tension. Riam gets real sensible real fast and has a plan: while they COULD run, it will be a life spent looking over their shoulders. Aria will expend untold resources to find them. To be truly free, they have to kill her. Specifically, MC should go out in the open and get close enough to Aria to kill her. While 3 corpses dressed as the LIs blow up. (stop playing with explosives, Riam!)

Noah protests that this plan puts MC in too much danger. Surprisingly, Logan also hates it: he likens it to asking a son to kill his mother. But MC agrees, because it's the best shot they have at a happy ending.

You get to chose who to set up the burnt corpse fake-outs with. If you choose Logan, MC holds Logan's hand and Logan gloats over it. "We're holding hands!! You see this kinky shit!! You all can go away because MC and I are together now." aldjfaffalfjlj LOGAN, MC's dick has been in your MOUTH. Hahaha. The set up goes well, and as MC and Logan admire their work, Logan comes up behind MC, hugs him, and tells him, "Don't kill her."

MC is ? and Logan explains that if it's a choice between MC's safety and sacrificing Logan, he will sacrifice himself 😭. MC mentions the wedding ring and Logan proposes and teases MC into a lovely amount of blushing from MC and me!!!!

Aria shows up to ruin my night specifically. Logan withdraws into the shadows. Aria and MC hash it out again and give me a tummy ache. MC shoots her, but neglects to go for the insurance shot, so Aria is of course still alive.

The three LIs sass each other in the nearby spooky forest. When it becomes clear that their mission failed, they hack into MC's choker signal. Somehow Aria stole the key for that stupid choker and only she can take it off. I guess MC thought Riam had the key this whole time? Otherwise, why didn't he ask Aria to take it off? What excuse could she give?

Here is what is the same: The good boyos ram a delivery truck through a CIA base. They find MC and Aria. In the firefight, whoever you have the most Heart points with gets shot. Aria gloats and complains that orchestrating a coup is difficult. She takes off MC's choker. (Finally!)

Here's what's different.

Bad Ending: You don't have sufficient Heart Points for anyone's ending. MC realizes that what he most wants: to go back. To how things were. Before the gangs. Before the heartache. He turns on Riam, Logan, and Noah and kills them. Aria welcomes him back into the CIA, and he's set up as a puppet boss of the gang. Aria's little pet. I've only read a description because my week has been shit enough.

Riam Endings: You have sufficient Heart Points for Riam's endings. MC remembers a nightmare he had. He was drowning, and the many, many dead of the novel pulled him deeper into the water. Then Riam's hand pulled him out into the sky. When MC woke up, Riam comforted him, and they had a shockingly good conversation about their similar pasts and wishes for the future.

Back in the present. MC shoots Aria, in the head this time. Our brave quartet runs while under heavy fire, and Logan gets fatally shot while protecting Riam. MC LOSES his shit about this, insisting they bring Logan with him, that he's all right. Basically a big, hysterical mess. Logan pacifies MC by saying he'll "catch up." Noah, Riam, and MC make it to the getaway car. Riam gets in the driver's seat, and Noah pushes MC into the passenger seat. MC begs Noah to get in and promptly loses any shit regained. Noah says he's going to "get Logan" and runs towards the incoming CIA.

Riam drives the car while MC screams for him to go back. They make it to the gang's hotel, and Riam orders the gang to...blow up the building. Really! Wtf, mate. THE DRAMA of MC kissing Riam while the building falls down around them tho.

If you have Riam's Heart Points to 100%, Riam and MC survive the explosion. They're still a bit prickly around each other. Riam's leg broke. MC went into a deep depression. Time, however, heals, whether we want it to or not. Riam re-establishes the gang, and MC and he slowly come out of hiding. Content in his house-husband role, MC figures out Riam's actual birthday and pretends to gift Riam the Ugliest Painting Ever asdfghjklk. But he made it himself, so Riam compliments it like "I like the colors. And I like...shapes." 😂 He takes down their fancy auction-bought painting to put up MC's on the wall, and MC is like noooOOOO please it was a joke please your real present is these sexy ribbons:

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss, Riam Zimmer CG 4, a naked Riam crouches with his hands tied by black ribbon. Equally naked, MC embraces him from behind. The pair nuzzle faces with great affection. Apologies for the shitty quality: I screenshot this CG from a video because I, uh, haven't actually played Riam's route lol]]

Noah's Endings: You have sufficient Heart Points for Noah's Endings. MC remembers this one time Noah snuck in to his and Riam's apartment. The narration implies it's to boink, but actually it's...to play chess! It's so sweet!! MC grumbles that he never beats Noah, but Noah's all supportive like, "aw, keep trying, babe ❤️"

Back in the present. MC shoots Aria, in the head this time. Our brave quartet runs while under heavy fire, and Riam gets fatally shot. MC begs Riam to stand up, for Logan to carry him, but Riam pushes him away and demands MC leave. Logan half-drags, half-carries MC to the getaway car. I imagine it's a bit like trying to carry a feral cat. 😬 Noah gets in the driver's side, and MC gets into the passenger seat. Logan cradles MC's face through the car window and says, "I gotta go, Alex. Be free." MC loses his shit, but Logan, the bastard, looks all cool while pulling a pin out the grenade with his tongue and running towards the impending CIA. 😖

Noah drives off with a hysterical MC. They have some breathing room, thanks to Logan's sacrifice. Not much though. Noah proposes a plan. The CIA will catch them, eventually. With Aria gone, maybe the next Director will have a brain in their head and realize Noah and MC were victims of her schemes. But to do that, they need to be listened to, talked with...which the CIA is not interested in now. So, obviously, we should fake our deaths! Noah pulls out a bottle of mandrake poison a la Romeo and Juliet. They use the same art for the love potion in Remarried Empress ahhHHHHHH. MC and he toast each other and drink their fill and fall asleep in a kiss. I'm not up on Korean culture, but that low-key might have been a wedding???

If you have Noah's Heart points up to 100%, Noah and MC survive. Noah's plan worked, though the mortician got quite a shock when two "corpses" woke up in the morgue, haha. Unlike his dad, Noah isn't a professional chemist, so his eyesight took a ding. Welcome to the megane club, champ. 😂😎

The rest of the ending is so nice, like relaxing in a hot bath. MC and Noah have retired from the CIA with hefty pensions, so they live in a cozy apartment together. The past's wounds are still fresh, but MC knows they will heal. He will mourn, but he will also live. Just looking at Noah, holding him, smelling his scent makes MC feel he's home. ❤️❤️❤️

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Noah Young CG 4, MC half-sits on a window and playfully snatches Noah's glasses off his nose. Noah stands close, with a hand on MC's thigh, and looks up at MC with slow-burning adoration. Both of them wear unbuttoned shirts.]]

Logan's Endings: You have sufficient points for Logan's endings. MC remembers this one time he and Logan traveled abroad to settle a deal with an arms supplier. MC was still new to the whole gangland shabang, but the meeting was a success. When the show was over, MC's jitters all came out, and Logan blew off a celebratory dinner with the supplier to go sit by a lake with MC and eat chili dogs. Logan made the chili dogs himself, and they become MC's favorite food. 😭

Back in the present, MC shoots Aria, in the head this time. Our brave quartet runs while under heavy fire, and Riam gets fatally shot while protecting Logan. MC begs Riam to stand up, for Logan to carry him, but Riam pushes him away and demands MC leave. Logan half-drags, half-carries MC to the getaway car. Feral cat energy. 😾 Logan gets in the driver's side, and MC gets into the passenger seat. Noah says he will stay behind to give them more time and thanks MC for being with him, however briefly. Anything further is cut short as Noah gets shot in the head. 😭

Logan drives like a bat out of hell. MC has an internal meltdown, and Logan pets his hair until he comes back to reality. Unfortunately for them, reality is the CIA closing in. Logan concludes that the only way out of this is to fake their death and, uh, oooo, isn't there a convenient cliff ahead? MC is like "I was always ready to die with you," and takes Logan's hand. The car jumps.

If you have Logan's Heart points up to 100%, Logan and MC survive. They live on the run from the CIA, but the new administration is only going to spend so much resources on finding two nobodies. Logan's arm was hurt in the car crash, but they're okay. They have a house together with a garden.

...which Logan may burn down. 😂 Logan yells for help because he has managed to burn breakfast very, very badly, hahaha. MC rushes in and puts out the fire. Logan wails that nooooOOOO, he was trying to make breakfast because it's their anniversary. MC replies that he loves him and that's soooo sweet, babe, but please don't try to cook 😂. The pair plan an outing but before that can happen, Logan convinces MC to let him have MC for breakfast:

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Logan Harris CG 4, MC perches on the breakfast table while a topless Logan brackets him in. Logan leans in for a kiss, and MC and he share a heated look of love.]]

And that's Kill Your Boss! Dude. So many bosses got murdered.

If the summaries weren't enough, I found a Let's Play of Logan's route, and here's a video of Noah's good ending and Riam's good ending. Overall, I had a lot of fun! The level of violence got to me at times, but the Antics and Shenanigans made me laugh so much. The plot and themes are expertly woven. I was surprised and in awe of how everything flowed together, no matter what choices the MC made. The characters are [fans self]. Despite the hefty word count of these posts, there's a lot of content I missed, especially for Riam. Even letting MC be the dominant for once couldn't tempt me! His shtick of 0 emotions so isn't my bag.

The time spent on each LI seems balanced to me. Everyone gets to have a little action, a little breakdown, and a little smooch. MC gets multiple chapters alone with each one. Noah is by far the easiest to woo. Logan may be the most difficult: even following the walkthrough, I only got him to 84% Heart points. I burned currency to buy his outfits and raise it to 100%. That's an inversion of the usual with visual novels. Usually, the default Love Interest is the easiest. Like, I barely have to pay attention to get Lars' ending in Royal Blood 2. I had to WORK to get Ian to piss off in The Tyrant's Bodyguard. IDK, I feel Kill Your Boss is on a higher level of difficulty than other VNs. This was my highest Charm:

Heh. 69% 😏

Like I said in this post, let me know if you'd like other summaries! Kinda leaning towards Royal Blood 2, with Andrew's route, but I'm not committed yet. 😂 Thanks for reading!

[vanaera]

Love at First Snow (jhs)

Synopsis | It is during the first snow Hoseok first meets Y/N. It is also during the first snow he prepares to put a ring on her. Little does he know, fate has other plans. (OR: As Hoseok relishes in the spirit of the Holiday season, he cannot help but also reminisce how you two, though entire polar opposites of each other, ended up together. Characters | dance major (and “academically-challenged”)!Hoseok x Genius!female reader (College AU) Prompt | “You know, you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Genre | Fluff, Humor, Angst Wordcount | 16.9k (I’m sorry, this ended up longer than I intended) Warnings | Discussions of verbal abuse from toxic families and mentions of panic attacks A/N | Hi Cristine! It is I, snowflake, your secret santa! This is my gift for @bts-poetry for @bangtanarmynet, and @btsbookclub ‘s Secret Santa 2019 event! I combined this gift with the prompt I claimed in @kwritersworld’s 2019 Christmas Event as my inspirations for both events have merged into one story hehe.

              Everyone has some titles to live by. “Well-versed lawyer,” “patient teacher,” “single mother,” “broke student��—one-liner characteristics and descriptions enough for people to summarize the entirety of one another. From each other’s greatest achievements to their itty bitty mistakes, any of them can be used to replace an identifier. After all, people always see what they want to see. It all depends on what title sticks out the most to the majority around them.  For Jung Hoseok, he lives up to the title of a lovable boyfriend and a rare one, too. As whenever people look at him, the first thing they see is the aberrance of how he ended up….dating Y/N.

              There’s nothing wrong with him, or Y/N for that matter. It’s just…they are the most impossible couple to end up together as they are the most literal polar opposites of each other.

             People remember Jung Hoseok as the golden dance major of the prestigious South Tigers University. He got into the Performing Arts program, Major in Dance by acing the laborious dance audition despite his unimpressive results in the written exam. Hoseok’s colorful background from his long-term dance crew, Hope World, and his countless wins in different hip hop dance competitions were more than enough proof to know he is indeed one of the top dancers of the university. With a body capable of executing each move ever known to humankind with such grace and precision, Jung Hoseok also has a stage presence that warrants everyone’s unbridled attention. Thus, it is without question he is the prided Most Valuable Dancer of his university’s varsity dance crew, Synergy. The long line-up of trophies Synergy has placed in STU’s hall of glory, all thanks to the competitions Hoseok led, are enough to say Hoseok is literally the modern-day Apollo.

             However, it is not just his talent or insanely god-like face and physique that makes Hoseok so “golden.” Because as if Apollo wasn’t enough, Hoseok also impersonated Helios. Jung, Hoseok is warm and kind and funny. He easily makes everyone want to be his bestfriend the moment they met him. Most people often speak of him first thing in the morning with another wonderful feat he pulled off. Hoseok is great in the things he does — playing as the great wingman for people who need the extra push in their romances or becoming the occasional teacher’s pet who goes to the professor and (easily) successfully convinces them to give the class a deadline extension for a requirement. Hoseok turns up every campus party into the happiest event anyone could ever be in and he is such an amazing, sincere friend who remembers everyone’s birthday and gives out the nicest of hugs. Hell, Hoseok even volunteers in long-inactive “dead” college organizations like the Campus Drunk Patrol, Environment Protection Squad, and Animal Welfare Group in his free time. Hoseok is the literal sun and anyone who knows him — which is literally, everyone — will never be unable to deny otherwise.

             So when Hoseok expressed romantic interest in Y/N in sophomore year, everyone around him was beyond bewildered. Most especially, his friends.

             “Y/N?” Jimin sputters, “as in…The Y/N, L/N from our batch?”

             “Well, yeah-”

             “Like the Analytical Physics major Y/N L/N?” Taehyung gapes.

             “Yeah, I mean,” Hoseok sends them a questioning look, “is there any other Y/N L/N?”

             Taehyung scratches his head. “Well, no…I just thought there’s a Y/N in another batch?”

             Hoseok gives him a pointed look, unamused.

             But Taehyung’s true sentiment is voiced out when Jimin half-screams at their table, “Why her?!”

             “Well, why not her?” Hoseok half-smiles, picking on the fries that were dropped scattered onto the table after Jimin unceremoniously pounded his fist on the surface in an act of over-exaggeration.

             Taehyung sends Hoseok a disgusted look but continues his friend’s argument, “Dude, she’s like, the entire opposite of you.”

             “And that is an understatement.” Jimin points a fry toward his direction, glaring at Hoseok.

             Hoseok huffs, “Oh c'mon, you’re all just going overboard. What happened to the golden rule ‘don’t judge a book by its cover?’”

             “First of all, Y/N’s not a book,” Jimin scoffs. “She’s like, the whole fucking library of science textbooks. Last sem, we’re busy doing a group project when Y/N suddenly spewed some SOHCAHTOA shit about the Bermuda Triangle. As if the things she said are already a whole level of weird, she even said them in a manner like Liam Neeson’s ‘I don’t know who you are but I’m going to kill you’ monologue from Taken. And second of all, the golden rule is ‘do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you,’ dumbass.”

             “Okay I got the golden rule wrong,” Hoseok groans, “but nevertheless, you’re still violating it by judging Y/N.”

             “In our defense tho,” Taehyung mumbles over the straw of his milkshake, “Y/N judged us first. I was watching Orange one time in the library and she came over and took a seat with me. And then she said some alien gibberish about how Naho Takamiya always fall stupidly on the stairs because she said, by verbatim, ‘according to basic logic and common sense, that’s not how projectiles work,’” Taehyung clicks his tongue and Jimin cringes. Taehyung continues, “Y/N said Naho wouldn’t fly to the hallway when she tripped on the actual steps. She even actually drew a diagram with computations of Naho’s fall and gave it to me before she abruptly got up and go. God, I’ve never felt so stupid and insulted both at the same time.”

             “And,” Jimin adds, “last December, I shared a meme on Facebook about turning on your brain instead of your heart this coming 2017 and guess what she did? She commented below “guess, you’ll just die of heart failure before 2017 even comes.” Jimin rolls his eyes, “She made me feel dumb as if I don’t know how heart failure works. So us judging her back is just fair and square.”

             “But you don’t actually know how heart failure works,” Hoseok retorts. He glares at Taehyung, “And dude, to be honest, Orange is overrated and Naho really flies whenever she trips, or gets tripped, on the stairs.” Hoseok throws up his hands in annoyance. “Seriously, are you two judging her for just…I don’t know, being smart?!”

             Taehyung sighs. “Okay, that’s a bit true, but the thing is, Hobi, our IQ levels are already a bit higher than yours—”

             “What’s that got to do with this?!”

             “—And if Y/N’s already treating us like the biggest idiots of the world,” Jimin continues Taehyung’s words, “then what chance do you have in having a decent conversation with her? Much less a more fruitful one that could end up in a romantic relationship? There’s like a 99.9 percent sure-ness she will make you more of an idiot than us!”

             “Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “Her thoughts are composed of quadratic formulas and science shit like ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.’ While I’m not even sure you know what DNA stands for.”

             Hoseok gawks, “Of course I know what DNA stands for!”

             “Then say it,” Jimin cocks a brow.

             “Dual Nucleus Association—fuck, why am I even doing this—” Hoseok glares at his friends, “What do you take me for? An imbecile?”

             “Well, yeah,” Taehyung says honestly.

             “That’s why right now, we’re telling you to drop anything you’re feeling in that,” Jimin points to Hoseok’s chest, “for Y/N. Hell, how will you even click together? Y/N’s allergic to nonsense and emojis and your daily vocabulary is entirely nonsense and eggplant emojis.”

             Hoseok opens his mouth to argue he also knows about the clown emoji but before he can utter a word, Taehyung beats him to it.

             “Dude, we’re not telling you this to insult you.” Jimin snorts and Taehyung closes his eyes before he looks again at Hoseok’s eyes, “Okay, maybe we’re enjoying teasing you a little too much. But we can say this is just payback for you not letting us go home earlier yesterday because you said we ‘need improvement’ which I damn well think not, bitch.” Hoseok squirms and Taehyung claps his shoulder hard, making him wince. “Anyway, what we’re trying to say, Hoseok, is we just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

             “How will I get hurt?! Nothing’s happened yet. I’m just saying I like Y/N—”

             “That’s what we’re worried about, Hoseok,” Jimin cuts him. “Nothing’s happened yet but we know something already did.”

            “Like what?”

            “You like Y/N. That’s the problem,” Jimin deadpans. “Hoseok we know you like to take relationships seriously. We even know that when you set your heart on a girl, your imagination is already two steps ahead, playing your wedding in your head.”

            Hoseok gulps, a guilty sweat forming on his temple.

            “But you see, Y/N belongs to that type of people who have their what-will-you-be-in-10-years solidly planted in their heads. And it’s highly probable a relationship, much less a wedding, is written in those 10-year plans. Much more, art majors like us are stigmatized to bound for failure because society is still close-minded and deems art won’t feed us. And by the meaning of society, it’s the ‘almighty and noble’ science folks Y/N belongs to. For God’s sake, there’s a lot of movies that have already forecasted science and art don’t mix!” 

            “Well, I don’t remember any movies—”

            Taehyung looks at Hoseok, incredulous. “Dude, there’s like The Theory of Everything—”

             “That’s science and faith!”

            “Stephen Hawking’s ex-wife sang in a choir. And she also started writing after their divorce! So that’s still art!”

            Hoseok was about to retaliate when he feels Jimin clasp a firm hand on his shoulder. He looks at him. Jimin sighs, “Hoseok, we just want you to not regret your decisions in the end. Y/N belongs to those snobbish high-hat people who treat everyone below them like dirt. There’s plenty of other girls out there who are much nicer than Y/N. Nice just like you. For one, why don’t you try giving a chance to the girls who’ve been crushing on you since freshman year? I know a few and they’re actually sweet. Just anyone who’s not Y/N. Seriously, just trust us on this, Hobi.”

             Except Hoseok does not. If there is one characteristic to describe Hoseok other than nice and talented, that would be his hard-headedness. He didn’t listen to his parents when they tried to discourage him from taking dance as his major. Hoseok disregarded numerous peers’ suggestions to join a frat so he can “shine more.” He even disregarded the toxic masculinity fraternities promoted by rocking pink overalls with his sparkly ugly sneakers and multicolored acorn pouch (which Jimin told him was the bane of the entire fashion industry) at least once a week. He even changes it up with other colorful ensembles the fashion students make. Hoseok did not even listen to Taehyung when the former told him not to drink before taking their finals in World History because, "no Hoseok, the alcohol does NOT bring back memories.”

             And look where his stubbornness got him. Hoseok became one of the greatest dancers his university has ever handled. His sole talent is enough for him to get invited to teach classes in several prestigious art colleges in the country. Hoseok gained more fulfilling and growth-inspiring friendships than surface-level ones offered by frats. He enjoyed more substantial conversations than booze temptation and toxic, trivial fights over games and girls. Hoseok even accidentally created a modeling career with local brands after his viral modeling of a peach acorn-inspired outfit for the project of his fashion major friends. Although him disregarding Taehyung’s reminders was a big mistake as he totally flunked World History, that night actually made Hoseok learn his lesson not to drink before the finals (and also because he learned the alcohol does not bring back memories he actually needed for the exam. But memories of his most embarrassing moments — like the one where he ended up performing in a children’s party as a fairy godmother—complete with the rainbow gown, fairy wings, plastic crown, and wand—because he mixed up the location of the college’s Halloween party with his friend’s family get-together).

             So, why would Hoseok listen to Jimin and Taehyung when setting his eyes and heart for Y/N feels like the most right decision he has ever made in his life? Especially when Y/N’s nowhere the high-hat snobbiety concept Jimin put her in. Hoseok is sure about this because he started to see and know her more than anyone else could after the fateful night of the Science Majors’ last year’s Christmas party.

             “Is that Y/N?” Hoseok squints his eyes. The person walking towards him is clad in a black coat and indigo satin slip-dress that falls short on her mid-thigh. Her hair is a mess and her small glittery satchel is slipping off her shoulders even if she adjusted it again and again. Not to say she’s also limping on her two-inch silver heels. When the girl raises her head and sees him, her face falls into an annoyed scowl. Hoseok right then confirms it is aberrantly, and shockingly, Y/N. At the sight of recognition in his face, Y/N immediately runs away in the opposite direction. Hoseok finds himself already chasing after her before his mind could acknowledge that he is actually running after the campus’ excruciating goody-two-shoes in the ass'o clock of the night.

             Hoseok easily catches up to Y/N. He blocks her way, causing her to halt. Hoseok hunches as he breathlessly puffs, “Hey Y/N, why you so fast?”

             “No-none of your business Jung Hoseok,” Y/N turns away from him and crosses her arms. Hoseok almost smiles. It is amusing how she effortlessly pulls her usual “intimidator stance” even in such a weird scenario.

             “Well, it is my business if you’re wandering on campus grounds in the night and obviously not sober.”

             Y/N whips her head towards him, “I am sober. What are you even here for?”

             “According to my eyes, you’re clearly drunk. Look,” Hoseok points to her face, “you look red all over and you can’t even look at me straight.” 

            Y/N slaps his hand away. 

            Hoseok puts his hands back in his pockets, “You’re clearly doing some beautiful eyes challenge right now.” 

            Y/N cringes at him but Hoseok continues, “And for your second question, I’m patrolling for the Campus Drunk Patrol.” He smiles and points to the logo on his jacket.

             Y/N leans forward and squints at the logo. Seeing her raised brow, Hoseok explains, “We aim to help drunk students sober up before commuting home. We can also escort them to their dorm facades and notify their RAs to come and get them.”

             Y/N still has her brow raised, skeptical. Hoseok sighs, “Well, it’s a dead org so I understand why you don’t believe me. If I also learn some org that’s been inactive for five years has suddenly gone active, I will be skeptical, too. But trust me on this, okay? I’ll just walk you around until you’re sober enough to know how to go home. I heard you’re dorming here. I can help you get to your dorm if you want.”

             Y/N still looks unconvinced and Hoseok releases a sigh again. He juts his thumb and points to his back, “We have our Patrol Marshal stationed there by the campus gates. He can totes see us here and tell you’re one of the stubborn drunk students who refuse to cooperate with our protocol.” 

            Hoseok smugly puts his weight on his left foot.“You can refuse and go ahead. But because the marshal doesn’t let drunk people he already caught go home, he will notify the head RA and trust me when I tell you I’ve seen a lot of students end up in bigger trouble for not complying with our joint protocol with the RA Council. Or,” Hoseok smiles, “you could just make our lives easier by letting me help you sober up.”

             Y/N looks away, gnawing on her lip. When Hoseok hears a faint “fine” come from her, he has to keep his jaw from hanging open.

             Because, why wouldn’t he be flabbergasted?

             Y/N L/N, the fearsome Analytical Physics major, is not the sweetest star out there. With a resting bitch face, innateness to give cold replies, gift of the perpetual judging stare, and insensitivity to joke cues, Y/N is one of the hardest people to cooperate with. It is not entirely because she does not put in any effort. No one just found it easy, or tolerable even, to interact with her. Sure, Y/N’s smart, a genius in Hoseok’s eyes. However, what stuck to everyone’s memory is how she unconsciously belittles everyone around her. Y/N gives out unnecessary run-throughs of chemistry concepts about any movie or animation brought up in a conversation. She instantly goes grammar-nazzi on anyone who slips on the rules of English grammar, especially when people make errors concerning the Oxford comma in their papers. She even goes out of her way to explain to her fellow students the physics of how and why they drove or parked badly with their bike or scooter.

             But the pinnacle of Y/N’s negative reputation has to be her merciless removal of her senior’s name, Oh Sehun, from the case study required in Communication Media Theories. In her very first year in university, at that. Although her action is justified as Sehun did not contribute anything at all in the group project, this name removal caused outrage among every college student. Sehun, who is actually the college’s renowned quarterback, graduated late and was now behind of his original team who already got into the professionals. All because of Y/N. Hence, the people in the university have started to associate her name with the title “stuck-up-iest bitch to ever walk on Earth.” Some don’t even seem to remember her name. All everyone knew is that Y/N’s one hell of a condescending bitch.

             So having Y/N walk silently by his side, cooperating for the first time without reciting her rights based on the constitution with such accuracy in verbatim while passively and implicitly insulting him, Hoseok cannot help to be so shocked.

             Noticing the complete silence that has surrounded them two, Hoseok breaks from his trance and leads Y/N to the college’s cafe. It’s already closed, given the lateness of the night, but it has their outdoor metal chairs set-up outside. He lets Y/N plop down on one of the metal seats as he produces a coffee-in-can for her.

             “Do you just casually carry around canned coffees with you?”

             “No, just when I am on duty for the patrols. Caffeine is the best way to help people sober up fast.” Hoseok inserts an edible straw for her and she grabs the drink.

             “I don’t think so,” Y/N mutters, “Human body processes consumed alcohol on its own, thus, it’s processing speed is neither affected nor aided by any exterior substances. With this, there’s no such actual thing as 'sobering up fast.’ It just feels like that because caffeine is a stimulant and hence, counters the sedative effect of alcohol, making you feel alert and appear to be sober.” Y/N takes another sip, “Nevertheless, thanks for the free coffee.”

              Hoseok almost gapes. The people were not kidding about how Y/N casually spouts science shit wherever she goes. Although he’s supposed to get tipped off, Hoseok just finds this set-up oddly amusing. He leans forward in his seat and props up his arm on the table to cup his face. “Anyway, why are you out in the late of the night?”

                 Y/N gives him an unamused look, “Because I was obviously partying. Is there any other party in the campus right now than the Science Majors’ Christmas party?”

              “You’re right,” Hoseok chuckles, “but what I mean is, why are you already outside? The party doesn’t end 'til 2 A.M.”

              “I just decided I want to go home.”

              “Why?”

              Y/N drops her drink on the table, “Are you just gonna ask me 'why’ everytime?!”

              Hoseok tilts his head and smiles, “Talking with drunk people is part of our protocol in sobering up. So, yeah, I’m gonna ask why every time until the redness on your nose and cheeks subsides a little.”

              “Fine,” Y/N hisses. She gives Hoseok a steely glare, “This night is the first time I’ve done something so stupid such as going to a party in an attempt to expand my connections. It turns out everyone still irrationally hates me about Oh Sehun’s name removal and they refused to interact with me. They kept sending me glares  while I just pathetically stood in the corner of the room for the duration of the party, dumbly holding a cup of some alcoholic drink I just realized 30 minutes ago was what you call ‘spiked.’ These pretty heels I wore hurt my ankles and toes all for nothing.” Y/N covers her face with her palms, “God, I don’t even know why I’m opening up about these things with you when it’s just the first time I talked with you. Maybe it’s just because I’m just drunk, god, it’s so stupid–”

              “It’s not stupid,” Hoseok interjects and Y/N raises her head from her hands. Hoseok smiles, “When there’s too much alcohol in our system, we get to do stuff we never knew we can. And sometimes, they are things we really desire to do but dare not let out in the open, afraid of what others may think. And it may come off as stupid as you’re letting your heart do the talking instead of your brain. But you know what? You have to be stupid sometimes to acknowledge what your brain may be missing out on. Plus,” Hoseok stretches open his arms wide, “there’s just the two of us here so no one can really judge you because hey, I’m just all ears here. After all, I’m just an officer of the Campus Drunk Patrol helping you sober up.” At the sight of Y/N’s pursed lips and eyes set on the coffee beside her, looking as if she’s convinced (and it looks like it’s not like her to admit it), Hoseok smiles wider and leans forward. “Now, back to your story. Why did you decide to go to a party?”

              “Because,” Y/N sighs, “I don’t know, @keanu_reeves_is_the_real_daddy from Hoboken said in Reddit that going to parties is a great opportunity to make friends.” Y/N looks down at her hands and interlocks them, “I’m just–I’m just desperate to get some friends. I’m already in second year, and still, no one wants to be with me. I often talk about how I don’t care whether people like me or not. Most of the time, I really do not care at all. But sometimes...it also gets lonely when you feel everyone seems to hate you.”

              “Well, I’m not everyone.”

              Y/N looks up at him, frowning, “That’s a great joke, Hoseok. I saw you hanging with Jimin just yesterday and I heard my name as the subject and "stick-in-the-ass bitch” as the predicate in a couple of sentences.“

              "Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but it was just Jimin who talked bad about you. Did you hear me say your name and 'stick-in-the-ass’ in one sentence?”

              Y/N glares at him. She then rips her gaze away from him to set them back on her interlocked fingers. “What are you trying to imply, Hoseok?”

               "I’m trying to imply, if you want to have a friend, I’m willing to be one.”

               "But you already got lots of friends.”

               Hoseok smiles, “That doesn’t mean I have no room left for one more.”

              Y/N gives him that skeptic look again and Hoseok snorts. “Hey, I’m being serious here. I really want to be your friend if you’d like. And no, it’s not because I pity you.” 

              Y/N raises a brow at him in disbelief and Hoseok purses his lips. He raises his hands in surrender, “Ooohkay, maybe like 0.001 percent I do, but 99.999 percent I just don’t like how everyone hates you for something that is not actually your fault. I really want to get to know you if you’d let me.”

                 Y/N just stares at him and Hoseok, for the first time in his life save for the days he’s answering written exams, has literally no idea what to do. Is Y/N angry at him for blurting out those things? Or is she aggravated he seemed plastic? But Hoseok knows he meant every single thing he said because first and foremost, he cannot lie even if he wanted to. He’s a goddamn horrible liar that anyone will know he’s lying before he can even start to lie. Second, he always says the first thing that comes to his mind because, in the majority of his life, he is incapable of thinking first before doing something. And third, Hoseok really meant what he said. He’s always been curious about Y/N. Jimin and Taehyung always talk ill about her and from the numerous negative shits he hears from them, he can’t help but think that maybe, her reputation is just one big hell of a rumor. It’s just impossible that so many rumors and negative comments about someone who he rarely sees outside the university, to be true. 

              Hoseok knows because he also has his fair share of rumors he has struggled to disprove. Like how he “cheated” in dance contests because no one can’t believe someone is just so exceptionally talented that they can win every single competition they join. Or how he “slept around” with almost half of the female population in the university just because he has lots of female friends and he loves to joke around with eggplant and saliva emojis in his texts. It’s hard to be contained in such one definitive title, much more a heavily negative one. Hoseok knew what it felt and it feels it’s just wrong to stay as a standbyer while the entire university jeers on Y/N for such a trivial reason.

              “Do-do you really mean that?”

              Hoseok looks at Y/N and nods. “Yes, I do.”

              Something wet drops on his jacket and Hoseok looks up at the sky. The sky is pitch black, save for the white inklets dotting the atmosphere, lightening up the dark horizon along with the glow of sparkling snowflakes. He turns to Y/N and smiles, “Oh look, it’s the first snow.”

              Y/N returns his smile this time. She tells him she wants to stay for ten more minutes to appreciate the snow before going home. Hoseok grins at her and says he’s got enough time to spare before his duty ends.

              The next day, Y/N’s frowning at Hoseok as the latter awkwardly holds his lunch tray next to her table.

              “Uhhh, aren’t you standing by the wrong table? Your friends sit over there.”

              “No,” Hoseok quips. “Jimin and Taehyung are not seated anywhere here because their lunches are scheduled way later today. And, this, in my opinion,” Hoseok scoots to Y/N’s side and sits down beside her, “is the perfect table.” Hoseok digs in his lunch and grins at her, “You should probably start eating now, too, y'know? Your food’s gonna get cold.”

              “I–” Y/N bites her lip and look away before she refocuses a glare at his face, “Are you really taking seriously your joke last night?”

              “It’s not a joke,” Hoseok retorts, dropping his utensils. “I’m serious about everything I said." 

              "But I didn’t mean mine. I’m drunk, remember?”

              “If you really didn’t mean them,” Hoseok looks at her, “then you can just tell me to leave. I’ll do whatever you say.”

              Y/N stares at him, brows scrunched together as if conflicted. She looks down on her hands on her lap and sighs, “I…don’t really want you to…leave. I’m sorry, I just…thought you’re just playing with me. You know all of this is still new to me. I’m sorry.”

              “Hey, it’s fine,” Hoseok chuckles, “no need to be so serious. We can take things slowly as long as you’d like.” Y/N pulls up a small smile and Hoseok grins. “Let’s finish our lunches and then we can look at memes. Memes are essential building blocks in friendships.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah. Taehyung and I became friends after we accidentally sent each other hilarious anti-government blinking man memes.”

              It is needless to say the entire university goes berserk later when they find Y/N, the campus bitch, and Hoseok, the university’s sunshine boy, guffawing over chemistry memes during lunch. Hoseok does not understand a thing, but he enjoys laughing with Y/N as she passionately explains to him each concept and why they are funny.

              It is true that Y/N wasn’t the dearest person in the world. Hoseok learned this after weeks of dealing with her unintentional snarkiness and unnecessary science lessons that may seem insulting and offensive to others. But through the time he got to befriend her, Hoseok learns Y/N is just too smart for her own good. Y/N always goes around like an encyclopedia because she doesn’t know what else to say when she wants to find common grounds with other people. It is just unfortunate that Y/N cannot speak of anything that does not involve quantum mechanics and chemical structures.  Meanwhile, her unintended snarkiness is always directed to people’s redundancy and anomalies in their speech. Hoseok found out about this as soon as February rolled in, that it has to do with the restrictive childhood Y/N had. This, he discovered when Professor Minyoung Park called for him after his Science 11 GE class.

              “Hoseok, I see you getting close with Y/N, these days.”

              “Yes ma'am,” Hoseok replies. He sits on the chair in front of her desk.

              “Oh, then you must have been familiar with how she can get,” Ms. Park leans forward, “not so…friendly around people. I know she and her mind of hers can be a little too much for others.”

              Hoseok’s forehead furrows. How did Professor Park know? Although Y/N’s bad reputation has easily spread like wildfire among college students, not many professors or any of the university staff have shown any interest in her life other than her impressive academic standing. Hoseok asks, “How did you know, Ms. Park?”

              The 40-year old professor leans back and smiles. “Would you believe I used to tutor Y/N L/N back in middle school?”

              “No way,” Hoseok’s jaw drops open.

              Ms. Park chuckles, “Yes, it’s true. I know, what a coincidence right?  I remember how that pretty girl used to be so insecure about her braces.”

              “Yeah, she must be so…adorable back then,” Hoseok looks away bashful. He’s not used associating Y/N with such adjectives. Saying them aloud feels too weird on his tongue.

              Ms. Park’s voice makes him turn back to her. “Until now she is. It’s just a shame how she did not outgrow her…usual speech style. But in her defense, it’s not entirely her fault.”

              Hoseok’s eyes widen. His curiosity is instantly piqued. “What do you mean, Ms. Park?”

              “Well, Y/N L/N is brought up in a home…quite not friendly for children growing up. The L/Ns is a prestigious family. Not for their wealth, but for their remarkable lineage of geniuses. Y/N’s great grandparents are renowned mathematician whizzes. Her grandparents own Fields medals for their remarkable contributions in mathematics. Moreover, Y/N’s parents are well-respected chemists in almost every pharmaceutical congregation. Even their relatives are families of renowned doctors and engineers. From over ten years of tutoring her, I noticed how expectations pile up upon the short shoulders of young Y/N. Every single school day, Y/N has to attend cram schools and private tutoring after her classes to ensure she stays on top of the overall batch standing. She also has to be exposed to upper-class parties at such a young age which I think does not help anyone at all. Especially a child. All the people ever do there is brag about their achievements, scour for new families to ally with or manipulate, and eye each other’s mistakes so they can prove publicly how better they are than everyone else.” Ms. Park looks at Hoseok in the eyes, “Believe me, I used to dream about attending such parties until I finally learned how they go when I’ve been invited by the L/Ns. And with Y/N being a single child, all eyes were on her. So any room for mistakes is non-existent. Her parents assured her to grow like the perfect daughter they wanted her to be by making sure her movements are always constantly monitored and kept in check. You think Y/N studied here because this is just a prestigious school? No. The L/Ns wanted to send her abroad. To Harvard. Y/N refused and convinced them instead she’ll study here because I work here. And her parents trust me that I can be their eyes to see Y/N’s progress.”

              Hoseok nods but he cannot help but let his mouth hang open at everything he’s discovering right now. No one really knew anything about Y/N. And suddenly out of nowhere, on some random Thursday afternoon, he is introduced into a pandora box of history where everything about her suddenly seems to make sense.

              Ms. Park must have noticed his troubled face so she reaches out and holds Hoseok’s hand. “Hoseok, I’m not telling you these to pressure you. In fact, I am happy Y/N finally found someone who can listen to her and understand her, instead of watching her like a glass-cased perfect doll. I’m just telling you all these not to excuse the mistakes she has done but for you to understand where she’s coming from, especially when interacting with her can be difficult sometimes. So I hope you won’t give up on her, Hoseok. I know you’re a good kid. I just want Y/N to finally enjoy herself like every other college student out there.”

              And Hoseok, with his ever characteristic stubbornness did not give up on you.

“What do you mean I cannot state the faulty quantum mechanics in Antman to Taehyung?!” Y/N scowls at Hoseok, fingers frozen on the book she has mid-taken away from the shelf.

“Because you will break Taehyung’s heart,” Hoseok purses his lips and steps nearer to her, almost cornering her to the back of the bookshelf. “And can you lower your voice? We’re in a library.”

“For the same reason you should also back up a bit as I do not fancy you borderline sexually harrassing me.”

“Sexual harassment?!” Hoseok whisper-yells, “I’m stepping closer to you because I feel the need to whisper louder for you to get my point that you should not explain whatever Antman’s faulty quantum shit to Taehyung because that will make him angry. And sad!”

“Why will he be angry?” Y/N sticks her nose up and crosses her arms. “Shouldn’t he feel grateful I am adding heuristic value to his existing knowledge?”

Hoseok drags a hand down his face, “Well, I didn’t say you cannot explain some facts to Taehyung. I’m just saying you don’t tell him those things in a matter-of-factly way you always do because he’ll think you’re insulting him for watching such movies.”

“How should I say them then?” Y/N quips back.

Y/N learns the answer to her question before she knew she already did it. She realizes it when she gets out of her film class and Hoseok, who has been waiting for her last period to finish, asks her how did it go.

“Well, I told him 'The film Antman is quite weird.’”

“And what did he say?”

“Taehyung grinned at me and high-fived me.”

“Well then, it was successful. Much better than how you initially decided to do it,” Hoseok grins.

“But still…I called Ant Man weird, I’m still perplexed why Taehyung is pleased.”

“Calling something weird is a common expression to us,” Hoseok starts and Y/N tilts her head. Hoseok explains further, “’Weird’ can mean as a good endearing weird or an insulting ‘weird.’ If you added statistics of probability and some laws with calling something ‘weird,’ it will sound like 'Hypothesis one is proven: the movie is confirmed to be bullshit because of unquestionable proof.’ And that will appear insulting because you are not giving room for others’ opinions to be valid. It will make you look you’re belittling them if you said it that way. But today, you did not. See?” Hoseok smiles, “you do not have to state 100 percent what you really meant. Just a bit of truth you find essential for others to know is already enough for a small talk.”

Y/N nods, her lips morphed into an amused “oh.”

Hoseok grins as he puts his hands on his waist, “Trust me on this. I became Mr. Congeniality last year for a reason.”

“What does it have to do with making small talk?”

“It means, I am the expert in making small talk.”

***

“C'mon, Y/N, let’s go to the spring festival. Please, please, please, pleaseeee.”

“No, Hoseok,” Y/N pulls her hand from his grip, “I have to study for our finals.”

“But, Y/N, it’s too early for that. The finals is yet to come 'til next month! Look at me, I do not feel any pressure to study yet.”

“But that’s because you do not have any academic standing to maintain.”

Hoseok’s face falls and Y/N immediately rectifies her mistake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Hoseok. Of course, I know you also value your class standing, given your program and all. I’m sorry I’m being insensitive again.”

Hoseok breaks into a laugh. “Oh my god, I’m just fucking around with you! You’re partially right though, I don’t have an academic standing to maintain but a performative one. Although I still have to keep my grades up so I can continue studying here. Anyway,” Hoseok grins at Y/N, offering his hand out, “I only accept apologies in the form of accompanying me to the spring festival.”

“Fine, Hoseok,” Y/N  begrudgingly accepts his hand. But Hoseok cannot miss the small smile forming on her lips.

“Don’t fret tho,” He boops her nose and she cringes at him, “we can  insert some Q&A sessions later so you can do a bit of studying if you’d still like.”

“How will we do that?”

Y/N learns the answer to that when she finds themselves screaming from the opposite ends of the giant boat ride.

“HOSEOK, DAMN YOU!”

The boat tips and her stomach drops but all she can hear is Hoseok screaming.

“WRONG, Y/N. The answer to the drilling ship which can dig 'til the mantle of the earth IS CHIKYU! NOW, off to the next question. What are CYANOBACTERIA?!!!”

              But Hoseok does more than just sticking by Y/N’s side and not giving up on her. He falls in love with her.

              Through the months he has become Y/N’s friend, Hoseok cannot help but be endeared by her. The things about her he never thought will come as close to what he calls cute suddenly grows on him. It grows too much that he lives off every single one of them. Even if it usually ends with him getting roasted. He used to get frustrated by Y/N’s never-ending witty comebacks. Now, his heart started singing during their bicker-banters that Hoseok even started to look forward to their bickering. Y/N’s smile that Hoseok used to think was a standard horror level of creepy is now all he could dream about when he’s asleep, and even when he’s awake. The way Y/N laughs at him, or smiles when she sees him were heart-warming. Until they upped 100 million levels and now they have become cataclysmic for his heart. The way Y/N patiently teaches him his lessons, or how her science-y jokes and memes become funny was something Hoseok used to overlook as trivial. Now, he couldn’t wait for the days he’ll bring his notebooks to the library and stare at Y/N’s face while she teaches him quantum mechanics and chemical structures. 

              Y/N’s small “tokens of appreciation,” as what she called it, like her handmade ‘thank you’ cards she gives Hoseok every month, or her invitations for Hoseok to accompany her to some street event or nearby dance event, or as uneventful as a new food stall that has opened in the university were something Hoseok never put much thought on. Now, they’re Hoseok’s source of both happiness and headaches as they make his heart fly and his brain ache for thinking too much into her actions. The way Y/N looks at him like never someone else has before—so attentive and focused in everything he says as if everything that comes from his mouth has so much worth listening to. Even if it’s a disgusting tale of how he almost shitted his pants before their science exam because he didn’t listen to Jimin when he told him to stop binge-eating spicy wings as a coping mechanism to stress, Y/N listens. This used to be something Hoseok treats as his special privilege as her friend. But now, it has become a national treasure he does not want to share with others. Especially with Namjoon, his roommate, whom Y/N managed to befriend because the former is a Biology major who’s on the same level as Y/N’s intellectual prowess. God, Hoseok cannot even count on his hands the number of times he’s been conflicted if it was jealousy on Namjoon’s effortless way to make Y/N laugh, or petty anger because he cannot even understand their jokes. 

              Hoseok doesn’t know how or why he suddenly felt all of these things for Y/N. It just happened. And so is how he accidentally blurted it out to her during one of their conversations, despite Jimin and Taehyung’s adamant warnings not to ask her out.

              "And whenever I use the microscope in my room, I’m always scared turning the coarse knob so much. It will be horrifying to see the objective lens break the slide and the coverslip.”

              “Y/N, I like you.”

              YN’s jaw goes slack and she stares at him, eyes wide. Hoseok almost feels perspiration dot his entire hairline for what feels like ten whole minutes in purgatory. Will Y/N leave? Will she scream at him, laugh at him even for his audacity? Will she reject him? Of course she will, what is he thinking? Taehyung and Jimin are right. Y/N is smart and he is too dumb for her to even fulfill at least an ounce of her standards. Y/N is respectable and he is a shameless clown–

              “I…am allowing you to be sexually attracted to me, Hoseok.”

              “W-what?”

              “I said,” Y/N looks straight into his eyes, “I am giving you permission to like me, Hoseok.”

              Hoseok balks. “P-permission? W-why do I need permission?”

              “Because, if you’re going to like me, I need you to know I am acknowledging your sexual attraction to me seriously,” Y/N stands up, putting her hands in the pockets of your coat. “It will be a waste if you do not want a long-term commitment. I do not have time to dwell on anything less than that.”

              Lucky for Y/N, so does Hoseok and he wastes no time proving it to her. For the course of six months, Hoseok courts her in the most possible best Hoseok-way. Y/N lived the majority of her life within suffocating walls surrounded by academics, titles, honors, and people waiting for her to fall. Hoseok wanted to take her with him on a break (and a possible future lifestyle) away from them all. So he takes Y/N to carnivals, dance events, and festivals–ranging from streets decorated in cheap glowing lanterns to grander events that have remarkable fireworks displays.

              Hoseok shows Y/N himself at his most vulnerable and strongest. He lets her watch him perform alone in practice rooms as he expresses the things muddled in his head, things he never dares to say to anyone else. Y/N’s been with him when he broke down due to his anxiety concerning his not-so-impressive acads. She was also with him in his embarrassing drunk adventures. Hell, Y/N even participated in his crew’s weird end-of-the-sem party. She let Hoseok dress them two like the two robbers from Home Alone–complete with the rageddy cut gloves and dirty face makeup. But, Y/N has also seen Hoseok’s crew’s successful university tours, the exclusive events he got invited to, and his dance recitals that got many theater and entertainment scouts crowding the room he’s dancing in.

              Hoseok shows all of himself to Y/N. Willingly and so transparently, that in turn, she started to show him her self, too. Y/N let him see her in her utter glory. She let him see her receiving awards from various electronics competitions and exhibitions, her creating the first demo of her portable printer and scanner machine that earned many positive reviews from numerous investors, and her getting featured in not just the university’s newspaper or any other school’s newspapers, but the city’s news for a composting machine she invented. And, Y/N also let Hoseok see her at her worst. She let him see her get told off by one of the people she had unconsciously insulted in the hallways, her failing her Communication GE classes, and her having a panic attack when her parents announced yet again another party of scholars who wish to see what she’s been up to lately.

              These things made Y/N realize Hoseok was serious about her and she, in return, has started to cherish the golden boy who would never leave her alone for the day until she’s crying from sheer laughter and happiness.

              However, it is the small things Hoseok does that really really gets to her.

              Hoseok remembers the small details Y/N slips in during their conversations.

“Hey, you are not supposed to eat that,” a fork clashes with Y/N’s own, preventing her from reaching the delectable dish.

“This pasta?” Y/N looks up at Hoseok.

“It has chopped shrimps. I asked Seokjin about it and he said it has prawns.” Hoseok grabs Y/N’s hand and leads her to the other side of the buffet. There, he gets her pasta with white sauce, this time, garnished in bacon. “Here, eat this, instead. It may not taste like the one with the shrimp but at least you won’t get allergies and you can enjoy the rest of the night instead of chilling out at the hospital watching sad re-runs of The Big Bang Theory.”

***

“Hoseok, you won’t believe how fascinating my yield turned out to be, like–Hoseok, what are you doing?

Hoseok pauses in his fumbling and blinks at Y/N. He looks down back at his bag and sighs. “I was hoping to keep this a surprise but oh well.”

He pulls up something from his bag and Y/N’s left gaping when he hands her a box of baked cookies. He rubs his neck, the tip of his ears reddening under her  gaze. “I remember you telling me it’s been a while since you ate cookies. My mom baked a lot for us so here, have some. I know you’re on some ridiculous diet your parents told you to take. But I hope you could give yourself a cheat day and just eat and enjoy the day. Your parents aren’t here.”

              Hoseok never fails to check up on her.

“Hey, how long have you been hunched over your desk now?” Hoseok’s voice blares from Y/N’s phone’s speakers and she sighs.

“About five hours now, I think?”

“Okay. Why don’t you take a break for ten minutes before going back to the grind? You told me your back is being an ass to you for two weeks now. Give it some rest. Also, drink some water.”

“Okay mom, will do,” Y/N chuckles over the line.

“Okay my daughter,” Hoseok sing-songs and she snorts. “I’ll call later and check up on you. Don’t dare to not take a break. I know where your dorm is and I’ll break into your window if I have to.”

“Okay, okay, will do, my personal health support system.”

“Glad to be of your service, ma'am.”

***

Y/N sighs as she throws her bag onto her bed. Today is a beat day. Mr. David was sour and he poured all his frustration on their class by giving out unnecessary lectures instead of teaching the new lesson. Y/N guesses she’ll have to self-study again for a quiz the prof has irrationally scheduled for tomorrow. And oh, Ms. Peterson also gave out a heavy paper late. It will force Y/N to cram for it in two days as submission date is just the day after tomorrow. Why is every deadline piling up today? It’s not yet even finals week yet!

Y/N plops onto her desk with a heavy sigh. She’ll end up having to do an all-nighter again — wait, what’s that doing there? There’s a pack of sandwiches in a clear food container sitting on top of her desk, beside her notebooks. Y/N doesn’t remember buying one or requesting her rommate, Jae In, to buy her one. Curious, she picked it up and turned it around. That’s when Y/N sees a yellow post-it attached on the plastic container.

“Hey Y/N. I thought of you today and decided to make you a sandwich. This is edible, I assure you. I asked my cooking mama friend Seokjin to come over and help me. Eat this snack before you do your work. I know you always start work right after coming home from your classes. I hope you eat on time and not skip on meals.

With super duper mega love,

Hoseok 😘”

              And Hoseok helps Y/N to the best he can, whenever he can, especially about things she’s passionate about but no one takes time to really understand.

"Hey Y/N,” Hoseok greets as he plops down next to her seat in the library.

“Hoseok?” Y/N glances up at him, eyes wide, “What are you doing here? You told me you have practice today.”

“Eh, the members cancelled on me today.  And also, I’ve missed you, so I figured why not visit you.” Hoseok grins at her and she momentarily forgets how to breathe. Y/N doesn’t know when Hoseok started to have that effect on her, it just happened. And although it is starting to be an inconvenience regarding how she becomes a nervous wreck under his gaze, she weirdly cannot find herself complaining against it. 

Hoseok leans forward, breaking her trance. “Now, what should we study today?”

“Uh-uhm, cellular mechanisms. I wanted to learn more about cancer cells.”

“Cellular mechanisms it is, then. Want me to help you make diagrams?”

Y/N nods and Hoseok grins, “I see the skills of artist Hoseok is not about to die anytime soon, eh?”

***

“How does that work, Y/N?”

“Well, it converts the mechanical energy from every step you take into electrical energy. It’s not yet finished so I’m still figuring out how many more parts I need for this to work. My previous demos have a lot of mistakes.” Right at the same time, a bolt pops off. Y/N runs a hand over her face, “And a lot of malfunctioning parts.”

Hoseok scratches his head. “I don’t know about any energy conversions but I know how to screw well?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“A-a statement. I can fix what we have for now while you revise your design. Whaddya think?”

“That sounds good.” Y/N turns around and heads for her blue prints. But before she can pick up her measuring materials, she turns back to Hoseok, meeting his gaze as he’s mid-picking up a screw driver.

“Thank you, Hoseok for assisting me on this. I know it’s just a personal project and I may be taking too much of your time when you should probably be resting at your dorm.”

“Pssh, you’re not taking too much of my time. I am enjoying my time with you. Also, it’s not just a personal project. It is a personal project so of course, it deserves to have gigantic importance to you. And it will turn out great because I know it will. Now go let’s get these revisions done so we can do another test run.”

              Hoseok has been a wonderful friend, an amazing supporter, and a sincere person who never feels ashamed of showing Y/N what he felt. That is all she needed for her not to doubt anymore and accept his confession.

              “Hey, Y/N,” Hoseok huffs, hands tucked deep in his red parka. “Why did you  tell me to meet up in the park? It’s cold out. Can’t it wait 'til tomorrow?”

              “No, it cannot,” Y/N faces the man, brows scrunched, her lips red from the number of times she has bitten it. “Hoseok, there’s something I need to tell you.”

              “W-what is it?”

              “I…am reciprocating yo-your profession of your sexual attraction to me.”

              “What?”

              “I said, I am reciprocating–” Y/N’ bites her lip and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she gives Hoseok the most focused stare she can ever give. “Hoseok, I am accepting your love confession. I like you, too.”

              Hoseok stares at Y/N, eyes wide, mouth agape. And for too long that Y/N thought the cold must have frozen him all over.

              “Hoseok, why are you staring like that? I am telling you, I like you too–hmppf!”

              Hoseok is kissing her, his lips pressed softly against hers in a gentle peck. Before Y/N could process things in her head about what to do when the boy she likes started kissing her, Hoseok is already coaxing her lips to dance with his. And before long, Y/N is returning him a kiss with the same ardor as his. It’s not like her to suddenly make out with someone so publicly. Hell, it’s not even like her to kiss someone with such passion that the warmth she feels on her chest comes close as to the heat of the sun. But as Y/N stays in Hoseok’s embrace in the middle of the frosted park which contrasts their warm chests, everything just feels so right.

              So right, as if fate just planned this very night for the two of them. Because, as their kiss comes into an end, Y/N and Hoseok both jolt at the drop of wetness that land on their heads. Y/N looks up and sees the familiar soft white snow falling from the dark night sky. The first snow. Right then deja vu sets in of how it was just one year ago she met this giggling boy in front of her at the very same time of the year.

              “I guess the universe wants us to be together, too.” Hoseok smiles.

              Y/N grins at him and sinks deeper into his embrace. “As preposterous that sounds given that the universe is, literally speaking, a no-higher living being, it is more preposterous that I am finding myself agreeing to and blushing because of this.”

              “I can’t understand what you said but I think it means you like it too so I’m deciding this is one of the best blush-worthy moments I ever had,” Hoseok kisses the top of Y/N’s head, “and whatever you say won’t stop me from taking back what I said.” Y/N nuzzles her nose against his chest, smiling at the way she cannot tell her heartbeat apart from his–the beats beneath their chests in sync despite the incongruity in her words.

***

              Loving Hoseok is easy. He is charming, generous, understanding, and everything Y/N ever wanted. Even more, nothing really changed from their friendship, just the addition of cheesy pick-up lines, sweet kisses here and there, hot make-out sessions which more often than not escalate into passionate (and very amazing) love-making. And Y/N loves her relationship with him as well for this. Because even if Hoseok succeeds in making her a soft mush for him, she cannot live her life without having him be the best-est friend she could ever have in her life.

              But from all the things Y/N loves about Hoseok, her most favorite has to be his utter transparency. What she sees in him, is what she gets. Hoseok is unabashed in proclaiming his feelings for her. He does not get embarrassed in showing Y/N his love for her. And, Hoseok does not keep secrets from her. He just willingly tells everything about him to her, no euphemisms, no lies. Y/N guesses this is probably the reason why their fights never last too long. Moreover, this quality of his makes up for Y/N’s inability to effectively express her thoughts and feelings. He taught Y/N pure utter honesty that so many people have stigmatized for naivety, but actually felt so amazing. He also taught Y/N to trust and let down her walls for people so they can be able to love her. Hoseok inspires and motivates Y/N to become a better version of herself, not only for the sake of others, but also for herself, and she cannot be grateful enough for that. 

              Titles didn’t matter with Hoseok, with Y/N, and their relationship. What only matters is their labels for each other–boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers loved and in love. Hoseok does not encrypt his messages in a way that would match Y/N’s mental capacity – He just talks with her like the way he is, nonsense and eggplant emojis and all. Hoseok does not burden Y/N with heavy, unreasonable expectations. He just loves her and lets her be whatever she wants. He just stays by Y/N’s side as she freely learns from and works on her mistakes like every flawed human being. With Hoseok, Y/N knew what she deserves and she started to live her life the way she has always dreamed of–so flawed but so perfectly Y/N L/N who is unafraid of what the future may bring to her.

              However, not everyone cannot fully comprehend Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok. Loving Hoseok may be easy but the environment surrounding their relationship is an entirely opposite scenario. For Hoseok’s and Y/N’s disregard of titles, does not guarantee everyone else around their relationship will do the same.

              Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok spread throughout the campus like a Jeffree Star fight-controversy with another YouTuber in 2x speed. The entire university has gone berserk yet again, unable to fathom how someone who shines so bright like Hoseok can be together with someone like Y/N who dims other’s lights. And for other people, they cannot understand how such a happy-go-lucky academically-challenged student like Hoseok can even amuse such no-shit, genius brain of Y/N.

              Almost everyone has something to say about their relationship. And, most often than not, they are negative. It didn’t help anything in their relationship as Y/N is already insecure as to why Hoseok even chose her when he can have any woman he wished. Y/N knows she’s difficult to be with. She struggles with expressing her feelings and thoughts. She even feels like she’s making things too hard for Hoseok. You see, Y/N’s a safe player. In whatever grounds she’s in — academics, social life, family ties — she  always plays safe. Y/N finds it hard to not be so, especially when all her life, she has been groomed to be a person well-liked by everybody else — a person safe from any negative impression that may tarnish her reputation. So, when things get a little bit too hard with Hoseok, Y/N finds herself automatically heading for the exit.

              Just like in one Wednesday night in August. Y/N had her fair share of fights with Hoseok. From the difficulties that tie with his popularity, her inability to show her feelings to him that sometimes makes him question her love, his procrastination and occasional lack of care for his academics, her nature to obsess over her studies that she tends to forget herself and everyone around her, to his numerous female friends who have the audacity to still flirt with him even if they all know he’s dating her — Y/N and Hoseok have fought about them all within their seven months of dating. And sure, they were already pretty bad fights given that they were immensely serious with Y/N and Hoseok ending up screaming at each other, giving each other cold shoulders, and ignoring each other for at most (usually) five days. But this Wednesday night was not like any of ther previous fights. Because this time, Y/N told Hoseok she wanted to break up with him.

              “Will you stop for a second, Y/N?!”

              Y/N swiftly turns around, tears brimming her swollen red eyes, “What do you want, Hoseok? I already said what I need to say. I am tired of constantly being the bad guy whenever we fight. I am tired of this, of you. I want to break up.”

              “No, you don’t mean that,” Hoseok almost cries. He looks equally devastated as her — swollen eyes, pale face, trembling fingers. “N-no, you don’t mean that,” he repeats, this time, his voice breaking.

              “Of course I mean them, Hoseok,” Y/N spits, “I never say things I do not mean. You know me.”

              “I know you,” Hoseok retorts, “that’s why I am telling you right now you don’t mean telling me you’re tired of our relationship, of me. That you want to b-break up. B-because you’re Y/N,” he breathes out. “You seem cold but you actually care. You do not speak your thoughts or feelings aloud but act on them. Okay, maybe you speak them out, but you say it in a way most people do not understand so that still does not count. But, Y/N,” Hoseok reaches for her hand before she can even think of shaking off his hold, “I know you love me. Deep inside the deepest of your hypothalamus, like you said, I believe you love me. Or else, you wouldn’t stay when I told you to watch me dance alone, frustrated with the world. You wouldn’t put in effort befriending Taehyung and Jimin despite knowing what they all said about you in the past. You wouldn’t have told me you wanted to come with me to my hometown and meet my family for my dad’s birthday. And,” Hoseok looks down at his feet, “you wouldn’t have stayed with me this long knowing how annoying I can be and what everyone else has to say about us. So please, Y/N. Just please…stay. Let’s talk it out together. Don’t just break up with me. Please don’t just l-leave me alone.”

              When Hoseok looks up at Y/N, it is with his brows scrunched together, eyes glazed over, and form almost kneeling in front of her. He holds her hands so tight, but yet so gentle, as if afraid if he clasped her fingers tighter, it will be too suffocating that she’ll slip away from him. He just looks at her and she cannot help but return his gaze. Y/N realizes right then, it may have been a bad decision to do so. For all she could see in his eyes is her reflection. Her and only her. It even seems as if he’s trying to keep the entirety of her as vivid as a memory can be. And maybe it’s because it’s the way he unabashedly tells her everything he loves about her. Or the way he remembers every single detail about her. Or how he knows her so well despite their relationship blooming at such a young age. But, they are all enough for Y/N to hold his hands tighter and let him engulf HER in his arms.

              “H-Hobi–”

              “S-see? You even still call me like that,” Hoseok mutters above her head and Y/N bites her lip as she clutches onto his jacket tighter.

              “Hobi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean them. I’m not tired of you. I’m not tired of u-us. I do not want to break up with you. Not at all. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Y/N lets out a sob and Hoseok hugs her tighter, running a hand over her hair, knowing it calms her down. “It’s just that everything’s been too much lately. The-the way your friends–”

              “What did they do?” Hoseok’s voice deepens close into a low growl. Y/N gulps. “Please tell me, Y/N,” Hoseok says softly as he cups her face in his warm hands. Y/N bites her lip and looks away. She does not want to be that type of girlfriend who instigates a fight between their significant other and their friends. She does not want Hoseok to have a bad blood with people he cares about. But then, Y/N remembers their fight two months ago. That night when she confronted Hoseok about the consecutive late nights he has spent in the practice room, neglecting his studies and even his own health for the past two weeks. The moment Y/N cornered him about it, Hoseok broke down and told her everything — how he lacked the motivation to perform well in his recitals and how his course adviser told him to pull his shit together before he fucks up the nearing international dance competition.

“She told me that I’m dating you right now but why can’t I even pull my shit together like you do. That she doesn’t understand why you’re even dating me when you can date far more competent guys. That sooner or later, you’re going to break up with me. Because,” Hoseok sighs and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his cheeks, a tear slipping down them instead, “look at me. I’m so sloppy. I’m such a loser—”

“No, you’re not!” Y/N interrupts him and Hoseok jolts. “You…you’re not a loser. Sloppy, yes, sometimes,” Hoseok winces and Y/N grabs his arms and pulls him toward her so she can hug him tight. “Hoseok, listen to me. I’m your lover. No one else’s but yours. I love you and I will not leave you. I do not care about other guys, if they are more competent or whatever. After all, competency is just a social construct designed to promote the societal standards that aim for conformity.” Y/N disentangles herself from him to cup his face in her hands. “Hoseok, you are not a loser. And, you’ll never be.  How can you be at least an inch of one? You were the one who led countless competitions which won our university so many awards. Almost ALL the trophies in our campus’ Hall of Honor were all thanks to you. You were the one who helped our fashion design majors  grab an opportunity with various labels after your runway a year ago became viral. You were also the one responsible for resurrecting countless dead orgs with actually good goals. They even received rewards from the local government because of the projects you arranged! You’re not a loser, Hobi. In fact, you are the opposite of loser. It’s just your prof is an ungrateful bitch, demeaning you like that when you’ve brought glory to her name as your program adviser. What a fucking asshole, I could have punched her in the face and—”

Hoseok detaches his lips from hers and smiles. “I can’t believe I’m starting to rub off of you. You just said your first curse word. Two even!”

“Damn you, Hoseok. I’m being serious.”

“And so am I. Thank you for cheering me up, Y/N. This is why I love you so much!”

              Hoseok has always been honest to Y/N and she decides it’s only right for her to do the same.

              Y/N looks up at him. “Nayeon, Sungyoon, and…Sara cornered me yesterday and I thought it will be about what you are recently up to. Why you were absent at yesterday’s practice. It turned out they did this high school toxic open-forum-like session where they told me all my shits and why I shouldn’t hang out you. They said you were no longer the Hoseok you used to be because I kept dragging you down. That I…do not deserve you and you should be with girls like you. And you know what, I thought so, too. Because, you have far better things ahead from you than tying you down here with me.”

              “No one can tell what you deserve or not, Y/N,” Hoseok retorts. “Only you can. And, I know what you are thinking right now maybe the opposite of what you really think about yourself. But if I could help, I think you totally deserve me. Even more than that, honestly. Because, Y/N, you are not tying me down anywhere.  In fact you are tying me up. Not literally but figuratively. Okay” Hoseok closes his eyes, “I know it doesn’t make sense—whatever I say doesn’t make sense on the regular basis, so what’s the difference—but, what I mean to say is, Y/N, you are keeping me afloat. You are keeping my head up from the expectations and shitstorms that is plaguing me. You are helping me stay alive and keep pushing through all the difficulties I face. And for that, I am eternally grateful for you. So,” Hoseok smiles, “do not let anything anyone else says about us get to you. Because, they don’t really know anything about me and they very much don’t know anything about you. They don’t get to judge. Not when they do not know how it feels to have the most amazing angel by your side.”

              Y/N scrunches her face at him but she hugs him tight nevertheless. “Must you always be this cheesy and cringey?”

              “Only for you, baby,” Y/N could feel Hoseok grin from the top of her head. “Also, I’m gonna have a talk with those girls so expect apologies coming your way. And if things go the other way,” Hoseok clicks his tongue, “expect a decrease in my friends.”

              However, everything Hoseok spouted is easier said than done. Because truth be told, Hoseok thinks it is him who actually doesn’t deserve Y/N. She is intelligent but so is she kind. She’s mature and it is usually her who does most of the helping and progressing in their relationship. Most of all, it is more realistic to say, Y/N is the one who has far greater things ahead than him. And it became clearer to him the night she took him with her to her family’s home for one of her parents’ parties.

              Y/N countlessly told Hoseok she didn’t need to attend it. She even highly advised him not to come with her. But Hoseok has forever been stubborn so of course when he told Y/N he wanted to meet her family, he did every bit of convincing that get him to where he is now — shaken and lost in the middle of a fucking science exhibit of a party. The night actually started out well.  He introduced himself to every member of the L/N family, even distant ones who stayed in the farthest, most unnoticeable corners of Y/N’s house. Y/N’s family members welcomed him with smiles and actively talked with him. Her parents even handed him his plate of food themselves and invited him to spend Christmas with them.

              It only started going downhill when it was time for the main event of the party—the what-have-you-been-up-to lately segment or what Y/N would like to call the “let the best bragger win.” Everyone started spewing their achievements for the year in a fashion that challenges the other party to disclose their far greater successes. Which, ultimately, insult the others for their lack of any. The party felt as if it was a battlefield with every member of Y/N’s family pitting their achievements against each other, no matter what context they are in—even if they are not of the same category to even compare. Next thing Hoseok knew, he was being dragged into the center of the conversation, with Y/N’s father asking him to tell his “revolutionary thoughts.”

              Hoseok tried his best. He really did. He had recalled every lesson he learned in his Science-related GEs and even tried to apply them in the academic journals he saw Y/N reading. That’s why he doesn’t understand why every single time he opens his mouth, Y/N’s entire family is laughing at him. Is the Dual Nucleus Association found in fingerprints that funny? Hoseok didn’t take too long to ponder on it, for the next second, a hand is pulling him to the front doors of the L/N house. It takes another second for Hoseok to register Y/N was the one who’s dragging him onto the street in angry stomps.

              “Y/N! Why did we go out?” Hoseok pulls on her arm, “We have to come back! It will be rude to your parents! I don’t want to leave a bad impression y’know–”

              “It doesn’t matter, Hoseok!” Y/N whirls around, distraught, and Hoseok only notices just now her glazed eyes. Y/N chokes out, “Leaving an impression on them doesn’t matter because we have to get out NOW.”

              “What? No, Y/N! That’s not appropriate! I–”

              “Then is it appropriate for my parents and relatives’ to blatantly insult you right in your face?”

                 Hoseok takes a step back, “What? But they were laughing at me there. I guess my jokes are–”

                 “Hoseok, they were mocking you in there. We both hell know the fingerprint DNA trivia you were telling them is not a joke.”

                “But your father said the Dual Nucleus Association I muttered was revolutionary and funny.”

                Y/N closes her eyes as she releases a staggered sigh, “Hoseok, ‘revolutionary’ in my father’s dictionary meant ‘stupid.’” Hoseok scrunches his brows and Y/N breathes out, wishing she could let out as well the aggravation and loathing for her parents she has kept inside for so long. “He was making fun of you, Hobi. DNA does not stand for Dual Nucleus Association. It’s Deoxyribonucleic Acid. My father fucking knew what this means because he took a PhD in Microbiology and he didn’t even have the heart to correct you. He even put you up in front of everybody else and humiliate you without you even noticing it.”

                “W-what?”

                Y/N sighs for the nth time as she reaches for his hands. “Hoseok, I’m sorry I left you alone. This whole time, I didn’t know you were in my father’s care. It’s just that my cousin came to me and asked desperately for help about the verbal abuse he experiences at home. The way he asked for my help, I knew he’s about to-to blow up sooner or later. So I immediately went to his aid. And I guess I got so preoccupied trying to make him calm without triggering his panic attacks that I…did not see where you stayed in the party. Worse, I didn't fucking even know you were with my parents. I know this is not enough of an excuse and I have been a shitty girlfriend tonight. So I’m sorry, Hoseok. I’m deeply so so sorry. And right now, I’m trying to make up for my mistakes by telling you we should leave. Now. I cannot let any of them insult you more,” Y/N’s voice breaks and she raises her hand to wipe a tear that has cascaded down her cheeks, “I cannot, Hoseok, for so help me God, I will march over there and declare I want to denounce myself as a L/N.”

                Hoseok doesn’t reply. He just nods at her and looks down at his feet. Y/N gulps down the anxiety building up in her larynx as she leads the two of them to the car he rented. She opts for the driver’s seat and hits the gas. Within minutes, the two of them are enveloped by the silent nightscape, a stark contrast to the cacophony of pride in her house.

                “Hoseok,” the man turns to the sound of Y/N’s voice. “W-what else did my father say to you?”

                Hoseok starts to fumble with the loose thread of his navy suit jacket. “Do you…really want to hear it?”

                “Is it that bad?”

                “Well, I-your dad questioned my ability to provide for you in the future. Because of my major and aspirations and all.”

                Y/N turns to him, aghast, “What?! Why would he even say that? What, he started to forget women’s abilities to revert back to the traditional patriarchal views?! Fuck him!”

                “I knew you would say that,” Hoseok says, chuckling softly. Y/N faces him again, this time perplexed as to why he is laughing. Hoseok reads her look and he clears his throat.

                “When you told me I was being insulted in the party, I will admit I am offended. But, before that, during an earlier talk with your father, I was not the least bit upset.” Hoseok meets your eyes. “That time, I was scared. Immensely shit-scared.”

                “I should have come to you first, not my cousin–”

                “No, let me finish first.” Hoseok purses his lips. He then looks out of the car window, at the scarce stars on the sky. “I knew we are far apart from each other. It was obvious even before we got together. Hell, I do not even get the memes you send to me when we first started out as friends. Sometimes, I even get insecure that even if you are not really bestfriends with Namjoon, he seems to get everything you tell me you found at the lab. Just by listening to our conversations, he understands them all. So effortlessly at that. I even have to plead him to tutor me and dumb-translate the science-y things you tell me, while I dry my brains out trying to understand them. But when I talked with your father, tonight, how he reiterated your status and skills and their difference from mine…I have never been this scared in my life.   Scared that what he said will come true—that you will realize how someone like me can never truly understand you ‘til the long run. That you will get tired of slowing your pace down for me…That you will eventually find someone more compatible with you–who also has a much more stable future ahead of just an aspiring dancer.” Hoseok turns toY/N and he reaches out for her left hand, her free hand. He clasps them in his hands and looks up at her, “But, I swear Y/N, I promise I will do my best. Your father may not be convinced but I want you to know. That I will do my best for you, Y/N. I will learn more for you. I will understand you more. I will improve my reputation into a much more respectable one. Hell, I can quit dance if I have to.”

              Y/N gives Hoseok a pained look. “No, Hoseok, you will not quit dance. I do not want you to quit dance. It will be too unfair for you and I know you will regret it.”

              Hoseok sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah…that sounds easier said than done.”

              “You don’t have to do those things for me,” Y/N squeezes his hand, making him look back to her. “I actually enjoy helping you learn. I love that you goof off the way you want because when you do that, I am reminded people like you still exist today — people who are not afraid of being themselves. Because of that, you inspire me to live more. I also love that you put in the time learning the things I’m saying because it means you genuinely are interested about my thoughts and you are not afraid of women being smarter than you — something most guys fail at. But that’s because most of them are misogynistic, prideful men on their high horses. And, I know you’re not like that. Most of all, I love it when you dance. Because through it you freely express every bit of your emotion. Because, you’re transparent, Hoseok. You’re an open book and I like it the best because you don’t leave me hanging, confused, troubled, and worried about what you’re feeling, especially when you know I am already bad at reading emotions. You are my stable ground, Hoseok. You make me feel safe. And despite the bad fights we’ve been through, I know you’re always doing your best. How can we stay this long if not for you being the brighter one between us when it comes to communicating, knowing that splitting because of things that can be solved will only result in one hell of a horrible mistake?” Y/N turns to Hoseok and he looks at her with his mouth agape, eyes blown wide. She smiles at this. “You have to know you’re more than enough, Hoseok. Like you said,” her smile grows wider, “no one can tell us what we deserve or not but ourselves. And with this, I know and feel that I deserve you, Hoseok. And you, me. What do you say?”

              Hoseok’s response to that was not of a verbal one but a physical one—one that involved a feverish kiss on Y/N’s lips, and her jawline that led Y/N to park the car by the empty gasoline station. Feather-light kisses, desperate hands to grab each other as close as they can be to each other, Y/N indulges in Hoseok and him in her in a passionate love that burned so bright it rivals the sun. The only words that transpire during that fateful night was “I love you’s” and for Y/N and Hoseok, they are more than enough of an anchor of him to her and her to him as waves of obstacles come in your way.

              All of these moments with Y/N have accumulated into Hoseok’s most wonderful memories in his life. And he still replays them in his head as another year of being her lover passes. Of course, problems never failed to arise as they manage their relationship. But, the ones caused by the comments of everyone in the university have lessened as Y/N and Hoseok have now graduated. Hoseok has left the university after he graduated, while Y/N stayed in the university as she applied for a Master’s degree in civil engineering. 

             Y/N still lives in her dorm for the convenience of teaching in the campus and studying after work. Meanwhile, Hoseok lived in an apartment in the city, close to the prestigious dance studio he works at. Their schedules are most often than not, amiss, and the distance between them can be sometimes frustrating. However, what remains the biggest obstacle is everyone’s opinions about the two of them. Sure, they were not as restrictive as what the two of them have experienced in the university. But it didn’t mean it hurt less when people say how they never thought someone as fun as Hoseok will choose someone so boring like Y/N, or how Hoseok’s intellect was a down-grader for her respectable reputation, saying she has a tasteless choice in choosing partners. Although these problems may get a little overwhelming, the two of them never let them get in between their relationship. 

              Hence, Y/N and Hoseok are still madly in love like the first year they have started dating. So in love that Hoseok felt it is now the time to propose to Y/N. For anymore day without her officially bounded with him, when you already own every piece of his heart, is something Hoseok cannot take any longer. He wants Y/N to be his partner for the years to come, his significant other for forever, and the only person he wakes up to and sees last in his day and nights for the rest of his entire life. Hoseok knows this and he has never been surer in his life.

              This is the reason why Hoseok is where he is today: clad in an ugly Christmas sweater and mismatched socks, with a troubled look on his face. Hoseok may have only realized he wanted to marry Y/N in late November, but he was able to make an intricate proposal plan to execute before this year can end. Today is Y/N’s free day and he has classes that have ended early. Lucky for him, Jimin is free to take her out for some last-minute gift-shopping in the afternoon so Hoseok can have ample time to decorate Y/N’s dorm with hearts and diagrams of the hypothalamus (because “No, Hoseok, we do not say I love you from the deepest corner of my heart, but from the hypothalamus. We do not feel from the heart. It just pumps us blood”).  Hoseok will have the gifts he bought for Y/N delivered that very same day to complete his decorations (and to also spoil her even more). He will cook Y/N her favorite dishes and make her hot cocoa even though he very much likes eggnog more, just because she likes the sweet chocolate beverage. He even requested his orchestra friends Yoongi, Jinyoung, Seokjin, and Sandeul, to play Jingle Bell Rock (“in cursive”) on the far side of the hallway so when Jimin drops Y/N off, she can have her favorite Christmas song as her background music when she steps inside her room and gets surprised.

              That is why when his heart and hypothalamus decorations actually looked shit, the arrival of the gifts was delayed ‘til tomorrow, and the meals he cooked looked inedible—not to say the hot choco looked like a mess too and totally un-aesthetic—Hoseok finds himself frozen in his place next to Y/N’s Christmas tree, looking as if he was constipated for ten days. Worse, his girlfriend is already standing by her door frame, kicking the door close like it was just any other day. 

              Y/N hangs her coat on the hanger and puts her shopping bags on top of her wide cabinet. She nonchalantly glances at him, “Hoseok, what are you doing there?”

              Hoseok feels sweat run down his face in waterfalls. If Y/N is surprised he was standing stupidly next to her tree, she did not show it. But right now, Hoseok’s concern is her seeing the decorations he made chucked in a large paper bag he hid behind the tree at the last minute. Of course, it is poorly hidden. He plays with the collar of his sweater “I…um, I–”

              “Nevermind. I guess this is one of our spontaneous date nights you ironically always plan. You should inform me next time, you know, so I can prepare for you as well,” Y/N smiles at him. “Come sit with me.” She walks to the sofa by the Christmas tree and pats the seat next to her. Hoseok scrambles to sit beside her and tries not to look like the dumbest fool in the world. Y/N did not get surprised, the orchestra’s music is barely heard inside as the cold wind of early winter overrides it, and he looks totally shit. How can he propose to her now, huh? All of his plans are ruined!

              “Di-did you eat already?” Hoseok asks, hands sweaty on his sweatpants. “I made you your favorite.”

              “Umm…yeah,” Y/N bites her lip, guilty. “I was already hungry before Jimin and I can finish our shopping and I really felt a great need to devour some pizza today.” She reaches for her small satchel and produces a folded paper bag. “I saved some for you. We can eat it later while we watch Netflix.”

              “O-okay,” Hoseok nervously laughs. His eyes land on the pink mug on the dining table. He looks back at Y/N, “D-do you want to drink something? I made you hot cocoa.”

              “Ooh, I’ll drink it later. I just had a sweet choco milkshake before I got here,” Y/N bites her lips again in guilt. “I’m sorry, Hoseok, I didn’t know you prepared these stuff for me. If I had known sooner I would have never even stepped out of my dorm today.”

              “It’s okay,” Hoseok pulls a smile and he tries not to look a tad bit upset about the failure of his plans, because he knows Y/N will immediately recognize that look.

              And, he wasn’t wrong. “Why, Hobi?” Y/N cups his face to make him turn to her, “did I do something wrong?

              “No,” Hoseok looks away. “It’s just, my plans…didn’t work out today.”

              “What plans?”

              Hoseok immediately feels his ass on fire. Did he just almost give himself away? He cannot just blurt out he wants to marry her! He wanted it to be special and he cannot have that happen in just her dorm with his shitty-looking outfit and almost-burned food. He wants Y/N to remember this day and he ain’t taking the risk of letting any bad memories mess up his proposal. And so, Hoseok sighs and decides he has to abort the plan and schedule it some other day. He’s just gonna make an excuse for now. “Well, I just thought we can make this random Thursday special y’know? Keep up with the aim of my spontaneous dates–good surprises making life much better without needing a reason to be. So I just made some food and stuff for the fun of it. It’s just a normal day surprise.”

              “Oh, then I’m glad today is really spontaneous dates today. I may have…foiled your plans, but look, I happened to have a surprise for you!”

              Hoseok tilts his head, “What is it?”

              Y/N grins at him before turning around and fumbles for something in her bag. Then the next second, Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe is suddenly blaring loud from her phone.

              “Y/N, did you seriously just play Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe in speaker mode?”

              “Oh, don’t be an in-denial bitch. I know this is your favorite Christmas song. A good song has to create the aesthetic and mood for tonight,” Y/N chuckles, “Here, Hoseok, my present for you.” She hands him a box wrapped in a fancy green sparkling wrapper with a red bow tied around it. It was medium-sized, enough for one of his favorite KAWS models to fit inside.

              “Present?” Hoseok asks, feeling both joy and guilt respectively swell in his heart and pit in his stomach. Joy, because Y/N is to add another model to his growing collection. And guilt, because he didn’t bring her anything worth the same as her gift. But as he tears open the box, another fancy green box just stares back at him. He looks up at Y/N with squinted eyes. “I see what you did there, sneaky missy.”  She just chuckles at him and Hoseok continues to unbox her gift, only to have another box inside. Hoseok wonders what made Y/N think of doing this infamous wrapping technique for her gift when she wasn’t even that much into wrapping gifts. She always just give him gifts in standard wrapping paper, messily taped all over around. Moreover, what even is her gift and how small does it have to be? Because now, Hoseok’s hands are getting tired of unboxing box after box and the gift is now currently the size of a stress ball!

              “Y/N, can you just tell me your gift? I’m getting tired. I can open it tomorrow instead and we can just get straight to Netflix tonight.”

              “No, Hoseok,” Y/N laughs, patting his shoulders. “Keep unboxing.”

              Hoseok continues forth with the unboxing and his heart starts to sink to his stomach as the box got smaller and smaller. This is probably a prank. One to get back at him for telling Y/N last year he bought her her favorite gift for their monito event with Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon. Only for him to arrive with nothing but a bow on his head and shamelessly declare to everyone that he is her gift. Nothing must be inside this box to contain a gift so small. The box in his hand is now just the size of a small toy car!

              Hoseok sighs as he opens the box. Another green box will appear and then he’ll see the paper saying “Pranked you, Hobi!”

              But it does not.

              For the box on Hoseok’s hand right now, is gaping open to him right now. And all he sees is a sparkling, silver ring embellished with emeralds that seem to form waves around the base of the band. A fucking ring is sitting right on top of his hand.

              Hoseok gapes and just stares. Far too long that Y/N decides to break the silence. “Surprise! I bought you an engagement ring! With green emeralds just like your favorite color.” She grins at him as she holds Hoseok’s hands in hers, making him turn to her while he stays jaw ajar. 

              Y/N suddenly feels self-conscious and unconfident. This is not the reaction she is expecting. She starts to fear if she’ll spend the coming Holidays boyfriend-less. Just by looking at Hoseok’s stupified face, it looks everything is happening too fast and too sudden tonight for her boyfriend. Nevertheless, she says, “I-I know this may come off as a really big of a surprise. After all, this is an engagement ring and right now I am trying to propose to you. Barely, even. So, of course, this is definitely a shocker. Especially when we only just spent two years dating. Still too early for a proposal to come, as what others will usually expect,” Y/N’s voice breaks. 

              She wrings her hands together, her feet trembling beneath her, and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. “But, Hoseok, in these two years I have spent with you…I learned what it felt like to be loved and be in love with you. We fight, yes. Healthily usual even. But, at the end of the day, everything still feels worth it. And I guess,” Y/N  smiles, “I cannot get enough of it. I cannot get enough of you. Being your girlfriend no longer satisfied me. I now want to be your wife. I want to be the only person you’ll stress over science just to impress. I want to be the person who’ll be your home. The one you will come home to, wake up to, and sleep next to every night, every single day. I want to be your partner-in-crime, especially when we have kids and we’ll play some game I never heard of but will still enjoy in the end just because you like it. But only if you want kids, hehe.” Y/N laughs awkwardly and scratches her nape. “Hoseok, I know I am clumsy in saying my feelings for you. Today is my first time saying everything so honest and raw like this so I know this may shock you. God, you don’t know how many times I practiced this speech in my office. Other professors must already be thinking I’m going crazy—anyway, what I only want to say is,” Y/N reaches for Hoseok’s hand and kisses it. “Hoseok, I want to stay by your side for the rest of my life.” When she looks up at him, she says, “And it will only happen if you’d also love to be by my side forever as well. So what do you say?”

              “W-what, I will say?” Hoseok repeats, still shaken. However, he’s so happy he cannot help the wide grin splitting on his face. “Yes, Y/N, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Forever and ever and ever and ever.”

              “R-really?” Y/N’s releases a relieved sigh, fingers wiping the tears that have formed on her eyes. “T-Then, why did you look like as if you’re about to walk out on me when you opened the box?”

              Hoseok cups her face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “Because you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Y/N scowls at this and hits his chest, hard. Hoseok coos at her as he hugs her tight and chuckles, “You’re an asshole because you headed out straight for my heart—hook, line, and sinker — and now I am completely blown away when I was supposed to be the first one to do so. Seriously, Y/N, I did not expect this to happen this way. Not when I also prepared a surprise for you tonight.” 

              Y/N’s brows raise in curiosity. Hoseok unzips his gym bag on the sofa and turns back to her, now with a red velvet box on his hands. 

              Hoseok pops open the box, a ring of the same design as the one she bought him stares back at her. But this one, instead of green emeralds, is embellished with blue emeralds, her favorite color.  Right then and there, Y/N wanted to cry.

              Hoseok rubs his nape. “I’m supposed to propose to you tonight as well. But you beat me right to it and now I forgot my speech.”

              Y/N chuckles at that as she wipes away the tears that have formed yet again on her eyes. Hoseok smiles as he squeezes her hand. “But, that doesn’t mean I’ll skip on this once-in-a-lifetime’s opportunity to propose to you,” Hoseok looks at her, “Y/N, I love you. And I know forever can be a heavy word and sometimes love cannot solve every problem that may come our way. But Y/N, what I said two years ago hasn’t changed. I will try my best. For you, I will. And we may be young but I know you and I are capable to make us work for as long as time can let us. Because you are Y/N, and I’m Hoseok. People may be against us but we know with each other, we are the best we can ever be. We deserve each other. We need each other. But most of all, we love each other. That’s all we need. Me and you. You and me.” After he breathes out, Hoseok cups Y/N’s cheeks and she leans forward and interlocks their lips in a soft kiss. 

              Y/N grabs onto Hoseok’s ugly green sweater and deepens the kiss, letting her mouth do the talking for her and him. For no words can be enough to express everything that is settling in their hearts tonight — euphoric bliss, the sweet feeling of triumph. Although Y/N can feel a tinge of the uncertainty of what may come to the two of them in the future grappling on her nerves, there resides in her heart the greater courage that despite the unpredictability of life, Y/N knows she can manage it with the constant she now has by her side — Hoseok. And for him, her. Because, Y/N is certain this is the most right decision she has ever made in her life: loving him. And, Hoseok proves it is the same for him as when the kiss comes into a close, he whispers on her lips, “Guess the déjà vu tonight is really working at its best. Fate really wanted us to be together.”

              Y/N grins at him, her forehead bumping into his, “And where’s your proof, future Mr. Y/N L/N?”

              Hoseok presses a kiss on Y/N’s forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, then at the corner of her ear. He whispers, “Look outside.”

              And there outside, white droplets fall from the sky, lighting up the near-black horizon while frosting up the window panes. It is the first snow. Y/N smiles. What Hoseok said to her when she reciprocated his love confession doesn’t seem so preposterous now. It seems like fate really tied the two of them up together as she first met and started dating Hoseok when the first snow fell. There’s a saying that whoever you’re with during the first snow, you will be with that person for a long time. Y/N and Hoseok have already been living proof of that for being together in three years—friendship plus dating days combined — amidst whatever people say against them two. 

              And Y/N hopes, that as she and Hoseok promise forever to each other tonight, the saying will come true. Because she wants the two of them to be together for a very, very, very long time.  After all, Hoseok is right. She is  Y/N and he is Hoseok and together, they are the best they can ever be, titles and achievements be damned. The weather may be cold during these pinnacle moments of her and his relationship but their hearts are warm and cozy, and there is nothing more Y/N could ask for.

Epilogue:

“You know, Y/N, my original proposal was beautiful, I’m sure I’ll have you bawling tonight.”

Y/N gives him a look and Hoseok laughs, “Good thing they’re gone now. D’you know I actually wrote my entire proposal in my hands? They just got erased because my hands have become so sweaty when I chucked away the decorations I made for you.”

“What decorations?”

Hoseok pulls on the collar of his sweater, “Cut-outs of hearts and hypothalamus?”

“R-really? You remembered what I said to you three years ago?”

“Of course, babe,”Hoseok smiles, “It’s you. How can I forget that? But they’re not available anymore as I already threw them away. They looked like shit.”

“Where did you throw them?”

“In a paper bag….by your Christmas tree–hey, why are you picking it up?”

Y/N turns towards him, smiling, her hands gently holding the crushed hearts and hypothalamus cut-outs. “Because you made it for me, Hoseok. Of course they hold value to me. It’s you.”

“You’re really a Grinch, you know? You’re making me cry with your sweetness and beauty when I should be jumping up and down with joy right now.”

“….Do you always have to be cheesy like this?”

“Only for you, babe. And get used to it. You have a forever to experience this one-in-a-million love from the one and only Jung Hoseok.”

A/N pt. 2 | Hi hons! Sorry my Christmas gift for you all was late! My requirement deadlines in uni ended up until Dec. 16 and so for the majority of December, I was solely focused on uni stuff. I tried limiting myself from using page breakers in this fic, a challenge I put on myself to train my skills again in doing transitions in my writing. This story is inspired by the rivalry of science and art majors in our uni in my first year! Also! I hoped you guys appreciate my take on @kwritersworld’s prompt. I want to incorporate it in a very unexpected way, while at the same time, reflects my character in a way I‘ve never done before. OC here is a bit grumpy and lacks social skills to be friendly so I interpreted her as an everyday-Grinch hehe). Lastly, @bts-poetry, I really enjoyed doing mini Q&As with you! I hope you like this gift and I also hope we can talk more in the future!

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[cynicaldesire]

Gettin’ real emotional on a Friday and ordering from Domino’s in Japan. I got a weird rice bowl that was shockingly delicious, but damn if I felt bad for the amount of carbs I was eating. (I also had had enough chocolate, for once in my life, so I wasn’t even interested in the chocolate milkshake we got with the order.)

My husband’s mother called the other day and I got really flustered and had a hard time talking to her because I’ve never really felt welcome around his family. I think I pinpointed what the issue is, but I’ll get into it later. While he was driving to work today, he called her to chat and ended up talking to his sister as well.

There’s a bunch of stuff I won’t get into because it involves money and choices I don’t necessarily agree with but I’ve made the choice to try to not be toxic about my dislike of them, so let’s just say Things Happened That I Don’t Agree With. Which is how the conversation eventually turned to my dissecting how I view relationships and friendships and how it all ties in to honesty and intimacy and how that reflects on my connection to his family.

My family is very honest with each other. Even, and especially, if that means we hurt each other. Like all the time. We get upset, we shout, we cry, we love, we laugh, we joke, etc. All of it with a deep understanding that we are all family and we love each other and that means we should never lie to each other.

But his family isn’t like that. At least, not the way he tells it. His family loves each other, sure, but they interacted with each other in very polite or shallow ways so as not to be harmful to each other. Lying was how my husband learned to interact with literally everybody. Exaggeration and humor and politeness.

I never learned that. I learned to never lie. I am, like, physically incapable of lying. It’s possible that’s why my writing is so bland. But I’ve been told that my honesty has always been a problem, the blunt reality that I spew is harmful and therefore no one wants to be friends with me.

As a result, I have a tendency to avoid interactions because I know I don’t fit with others. Everyone lies, I can’t. Everyone tells polite lies, I believe them and get hurt as a result. So if I’ll get hurt either way for being myself, I’d rather be alone.

But, you know, humans are social animals and I need friends and family. The time spent away from my family has provided me the space to grow. I’m happier now, in a lot of ways. But I’m still scarred from so many years of failing at social interaction.

One of the things my mother taught me was to try to be more positive and cheerful and upbeat. So I do that when interacting with strangers, acquaintances, or customers. I’ve found a way to do it without being disingenuous, what with my inability to lie. And after we pointed that out, my husband said “You know, maybe you being so bright and cheerful when talking to my family is surprising to them. They don’t know how to handle that because they’re so used to my really low energy.”

I was flabbergasted. I’d been told my whole life by my former singer/actress mother, that being smily and stuff was how you got people to like you. It’s why I try to crinkle my eyes out in public because people can’t see my face and thus my smile. The very idea that my one tactic with interacting with the world was now somehow wrong? Fuck. What do I do now?

This discussion also dug up some recent stuff happening with our friends. Since I’m dumb and I seem to view the world in binaries or equations, such as “Person said they’re busy but said if you give them time they’ll get to it” or “If you do thing correctly, people will like it” or other such nonsense, I get very frustrated when those things don’t turn out to be true. Because if the world is transactional, since I put in love and friendship, I should get those things in return, right? Friend said they would give me feedback when they weren’t busy. But it’s been 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a month, 2 months. Did they lie? They lied. Why would they lie? I read their thing. I thought that’s how this worked. Transaction. I paid my dues.

And it had me realizing, yet again, that I expect myself from other people. That I expect the world to make some kind of equitable sense. That I want people to chose me without me demanding it. That I am so stupid for thinking those things. And that I’ve done something to deserve this treatment. Because if I were really such a good girl or a good person or a good writer that people would come to me and choose me. That I deserve this because it wouldn’t be happening to me if I didn’t.

That I am self destructive. Because making everyone else happy means no one is angry, because if someone is angry, then something is wrong, and that’s my fault. Or if I’ve done a bad thing, like think negative thoughts about my husband’s family and voice them and make him sad, or been a bitch to my friends because they won’t ever chose me despite all the effort I put in for them, then I’ve earned my punishment. I’ll goad people into yelling at me to save others from getting yelled at. Because if someone is angry, it’s my fault anyway.

I’m always the loser in every situation, every argument, every conversation. Because someone has to lose and it’s always me, because seeing other people hurt is more difficult than just taking the loss. Because other people being the loser means I get some kind of grief either way.

I’ll never be good enough. Ever. No matter how hard I try to be friendly or encouraging or excellent at the hobbies we enjoy together. No matter how accommodating or helpful I am. I am never good enough to people to choose me. And it might be because I people think I have anger issues (which, maybe I do, but that goes back to my “honesty” policy of never policing my emotions, but the anger goes as quickly as it comes), which spawned out of a realization that when people bullied me, if I screamed at them, they stopped it. It could be because I’m fat and/or unattractive. It could be because I’ve never been able to get and hold down a job. It could be because I’m poor. But no matter what I do, I’m never good enough.

So no one ever chooses me. And it’s something I’ve had to come to terms with. And it sucks.

So then, after that ordeal of a conversation, my husband desperately wanted pizza. I tried to talk to him about Zodiac and I had run out of idea and then the pizza man showed up anyway and I feel like we didn’t get to finish our discussion? But I think we did. So now I’m just tired but anxious since my issues don’t have answers. Hopefully I’ll forget about them before long.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Greek Life

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Taehyung / Reader

Word Count: 3,218

AU: Demigod / College Fraternity

Dialogue Prompt: "Are you suggesting an orgy?” (warning: this got a bit darker than intended but there’s light at the end!)

↳ part of my AU drabble game

“Alright.” Both arms crossed over his chest, Seokjin glared at Hoseok, son of Apollo. “I just want to be clear about one thing tonight.”

Without glancing up from his phone, Hoseok pushed dark Gucci sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. “Yes, brother?”

“Not brothers,” Seokjin corrected. “Anyways, this is me reminding you that your set volume cannot be over 100 decibels tonight. If we get another noise complaint, this house is toast.”

If Hoseok did roll his eyes, Seokjin couldn’t see through the sunglasses. The generally dismissive slouch of his posture was answer enough.

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Hoseok drawled.

Seokjin’s frown deepened. “Yeah, I’m afraid I’m gonna need more than that. The last time you said you’d keep it down, we hit 125 decibels and the house nearly collapsed.”

“A gross exaggeration,” said Yoongi, son of Hades, currently curled up on the sofa. “As the demi-god of earthquakes –”

“Actually, Poseidon is in charge of earthquakes.”

“– seeing as we have no son of Poseidon in this house, I am demi-god of earthquakes, and I can inform you that the house was not close to falling down.”

“Irregardless,” Seokjin said.

“Irregardless isn’t a word!” 

Namjoon’s voice drifted from somewhere on the third floor. As son of Athena, goddess of wisdom and strategy, Namjoon took grave offense to grammatical errors.

Seokjin sighed. Rubbing his forehead, he contemplated whether his continued attempts at decency were worth it. At least if he tried, he could tell himself he did everything he could to stop chaos before it arrived. Decision made, Seokjin fixed Hoseok with his best no-nonsense glare. It was a good one, to be sure. As the son of Demeter, goddess of harvest and earth, Seokjin was the most grounded one in the fraternity.

“Hoseok,” he said. The younger demi-god looked up. “You will keep it down or I’ll personally call your father.”

The smirk disappeared from Jung Hoseok’s face. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, but I would.”

Seokjin sounded so stern, Hoseok didn’t feel like calling him out. Despite his cooler-than-thou appearance, Hoseok had major daddy issues – as in, he hated his. Apollo was a difficult guy to be be cuddly with, to be fair. On the surface, he seemed everything a father figure should be: personable, warm and awe-inspiring. Apollo was the god of the sun, healing, prophecy, music and poetry. As one might expect from the god of the sun though, he had rather high expectations for his offspring.

Hoseok didn’t care about greatness, so long as he had a good tune and good times. One time, he semi-jokingly proposed to Apollo that he become the demi-god of DJ’s and sick beats. Apollo wasn’t amused by the suggestion.

“Fine.” Hoseok placed both feet on the floor. “Dearest Seokjin, I will try to keep it down but know this,” he said, pushing a hand through his hair. “You have ruined the soul of an artist.”

Seokjin tried not to laugh. “Yeah, cool. I’ll take my chances.”

Turning around, Seokjin exited the living room into the main hall. There, he found himself face to face with what could only be described as chaos. Taehyung, son of Dionysus, absently twined grape vines up the stairs while Jimin, son of Aphrodite and Jungkook, son of Zeus, argued in front of the door.

Taehyung cocked his head while he stared at the bannister, trying to make sense of it all. As the son of Dionysus – god of wine, fertility and ecstasy – he was not unaccustomed to parties. Even his origin story at the frat involved one. When the other men showed up this year for their first day of campus, they found Taehyung entrenched in their backyard, midway through the biggest beach rager the University had ever seen.

As to his method of arrival and when, even Taehyung was not sure on the details. General merriment seemed to follow him wherever he went. The moment he decided to attend University, obviously the party followed him to his new destination.

Regardless, Taehyung was welcomed into Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) with open arms, due to the similarities he had with its other members. Taehyung was descended from a god of the Greek Pantheon, as they all were. Most mortals were shocked to learn gods and demi-gods still walked amongst them. Most mortals were blind, though and rarely saw what was beyond their noses.

Taehyung looked up, surveying the chaos before him. Kim Seokjin, eldest of the house, usually adopted a parental role to the others. At that moment, he had both hands on his hips and was attempting to mediate a fight between Jimin and Jungkook.

Already, sparks leapt from Jungkook’s fingers while Jimin’s gaze burned ruby-red with his anger.

Jimin, son of Aphrodite. 

Sweet and beautiful, with a temperament to match until you spoke ill of his loved ones. Then, all bets were off and as lovely as Jimin could be, his temper was far worse. Sweet words turned poisonous when spewed from his lips, since Jimin was also armed with the gift of persuasion. Jungkook attempted to avoid said power by not looking Jimin in the eyes.

“Look!” Jungkook said, one hand over his face. “I didn’t say your mother was easy! I just said she has a lot of demi-god children. That’s all!”

“She’s the goddess of love,” Jimin hissed, attempting to swat Jungkook’s hand down. His gaze burned scarlet in an otherwise calm expression. “Obviously she has children! You’re one to talk, anyways. How’s good ‘ol dad doing? Impregnated any mortals recently? Turned himself into a ray of light? A cow?”

“Hey! He turned Io into a cow, not himself!”

“How is that better?”

Shrugging, Jungkook nearly stumbled as he crashed into an a thousand-year-old lamp. 

Appearing from nowhere, Yoongi deftly caught this and replaced it on the counter. “Welcome,” he mumbled, drifting into the kitchen.

For a minute, Jimin and Jungkook forgot their fight and stared. 

“Dude needs to announce himself more,” Jungkook said, momentarily thrown.

Shoving both hands into the pockets of his hoodie, Jungkook revealed a small rip in the seams. Despite his grunge, Jungkook was still one of the most handsome guys around campus. It was hard not to be with his chiseled jawline, tousled hair and dark, piercing gaze. If there were a student vote on who was most likely to be a demi-god amongst them, Jeon Jungkook would be the unanimous favorite.

Still, he had problems of his own. Mainly that despite all his achievements, his father continued to insist he failed to meet expectations. A demigod of Zeus was powerful and as such, was expected to accomplish great feats. So far, Jungkook had only been the youngest person ever to climb Mt. Everest, written a collection of poems reviewed in Time Magazine, discovered a purpose for the appendix not previously thought of and contributed several designs to NASA’s most recent launch.

Zeus called it all child’s play. 

Shortly following, Jungkook stopped trying to impress his father and enrolled in University. Still, it wasn’t unusual to run into Jungkook at odd hours of the night, muttering corrections of Machiavellian theory with a bottle of wine in one hand.

All of this went to say that Taehyung understood why Jungkook was sometimes an ass. Jimin was lucky amongst them, as far as demi-gods went. He had intense, emotional power but he also had a goddess who loved him. Taehyung, on the other hand, had rarely seen his father since he had discovered what he truly was. It was hard having a father in charge of general celebration. It meant Dionysus was often called elsewhere, usually interrupting any father-son bonding time.

“Listen.” Seokjin rubbed his forehead. “You two are giving me an Athena-sized headache. Stop bickering and help Taehyung – his vines are out of control.”

Glancing at his hands, Taehyung realized Seokjin was correct. While he had been watching them argue, his vines had taken on a life of their own. They twined around his legs, the banister and sprouted large clusters of pomegranates (which, frankly, didn’t make any sense). Absently, Taehyung plucked one of them and took a large bite. Lately, he’d been very interested in pomegranates.

Clomping his way downstairs, Namjoon batted vines out of the way. “Are you going to clean this up before tonight?” he said to Taehyung, who nodded. To Seokjin, he added, “And watch what you say about my mother.”

“I was being literal!” Seokjin protested. “Your mom was literally born from Zeus’ mind, so obviously her birth was a headache. I don’t make the rules –”

“Thank the gods for that.”

“Shut up, Jungkook.”

This last statement was exclaimed by Jimin, Seokjin and Namjoon combined. Abruptly, Jungkook turned around on his heel and exited the lobby. Once he was gone, some of the red dissipated from Jimin’s gaze.

He looked sympathetically at Taehyung. “Need help cleaning?” Jimin offered, laying a hand on the bannister. 

His touch instantly trimmed the vines, sending blossoming roses over the rest.

Taehyung wrinkled his nose. “This looks… somehow worse.”

“Sorry, man.” Jimin’s lips twitched. “My botanical powers only go so far.”

With a wave of his hand, Seokjin transformed the mess into neat, tidy rows of vines up the staircase. As the son of Demeter, he had the best grasp over all earthly elements.

“There.” Satisfied, Seokjin dusted both palms on his pants. He looked curiously at Taehyung. “You alright, man? Lately, your powers have been, uh…”

It was considered impolite to comment on another demi-god’s powers; hence why Seokjin trailed off at the end. 

Taehyung tilted his head. “They’ve been what, exactly?”

Seokjin seemed distinctly uncomfortable. “Off?”

“On the fritz,” said Jimin helpfully.

“Borderline chaotic,” Namjoon added.

Taehyung considered their input. “Borderline chaotic is kind of my nature, no?”

“Yes, but…” Namjoon shook his head. “Not like this.”

Chewing on his lip, Taehyung was forced to admit they were right. His powers had always been intense, but they were usually controlled. Despite the influence he exerted over others, Taehyung could never party or grow drunk on his own power. In his opinion, this was his great curse. No matter what Taehyung did, he always found himself the eye of the hurricane, the center of the storm. He could never lose himself in the relief he provided to others; could only watch while they did.

Lately though, his powers had changed. They were darker, less controlled and had a frustrated edge. Glancing down at the pomegranate he held in one hand, Taehyung saw the seeds were an ominous shade of dark purple.

“It’s because of Y/N,” Jungkook said as he entered the room.

Taehyung’s head snapped up.

Leaning his shoulder to the wall, Jungkook stared lazily back. Power crackled restlessly about him like thunder. 

“What?” He arched a brow. “You know I’m right.”

Though Taehyung’s lips parted, he had no response because Jungkook was correct. If Taehyung retraced his magic to the moment it changed, it was around the time he met you. Or, more accurately, it was around the time you rejected him. 

Taehyung’s stomach twisted.

“Who’s Y/N?” Namjoon asked, glancing between them.

Taehyung tried and failed to look casual. “No one.”

He could barely push the words past his lips, which prompted Namjoon to arch a brow. “Doesn’t seem like no one.”

“She is,” Taehyung muttered. “She wants nothing to do with me – rightfully so. Which means that she’s no one.”

“That seems harsh, Tae,” Seokjin chastised. “How do you know?”

His gaze softened looking at Taehyung. Taehyung was the youngest amongst them aside from Jungkook, so the other demi-gods felt the need to protect him. No one else thought to, thanks to Taehyung’s abilities but in him, the others saw their younger selves. His powers drained him so often and left him feeling exhausted from their personal nature.

When Taehyung said nothing more, Jungkook sighed. “Just the usual,” he said, a bit gentler. “The same girl came to a few of our parties. Taehyung liked her. His powers got out of control. When she tried to kiss him, he pulled his powers away and she freaked. Ran out of the party before he could explain.”

“What would I explain?” Taehyung said, unable to help himself. The vines at his feet withered and turned an unnatural shade of black. “Hey, sorry about that! I’m just the demi-god of parties and wine. You got too buzzed on my power, so I tried to pull back and return your free will. Wanna hang?”

Even Namjoon had no response, rubbing the back of his neck. “Or,” he suggested. “You could just apologize about the party and offer to buy her a coffee.”

Taehyung looked up. “That’s just a temporary fix, right? Eventually, I’ll have to tell her and – let’s face it – who would stay? I’ve seen what these powers do to my dad. I’ve seen what they did to his other children. It’s pointless to become attached to a mortal.”

Out of all Dionysus’s children, Taehyung was the only one currently living. Most had been famous throughout history – musicians and actors known more for their parties than the talent they had. Many died young, unable to cope with the effects of their powers. Taehyung knew it was smart to push you away, since he couldn’t control himself and his powers often proved lethal.

Still, a pang entered his stomach whenever he thought of you. Whenever he remembered the shape of your lips, the way that you smiled and the uncertain way your fingers curled in your sundress. You laughed in two ways when you talked. One was a quiet, self-conscious giggle, but other was Taehyung’s favorite. It was more of a snort than a laugh, granted whenever Taehyung said something particularly funny.

The memory of this made Taehyung’s heart twist and he swallowed, looking away from the others.

At the bottom of the stairs, Jimin seemed distressed by his pain. He probably was; oftentimes, Jimin confused other people’s emotions for his own.

“I’m sorry, Tae,” he said softly.

“S’alright,” Taehyung muttered, even though it wasn’t.

“Can I do anything to help?” Jimin brightened. “Want me to use my powers, or something?”

Jungkook looked at him in amazement. “Are you suggesting an orgy? Dude, this hardly seems like the time.”

Jimin glared. “That’s not all my powers are good for, you jackass. I can make people forget their troubles, you know. At least for a little while.”

The tips of his fingers glowed faintly pink and Jungkook glanced at his hands, thoroughly unnerved. Jimin’s power of persuasion extended beyond simply telling others what to do. He could make someone else feel happy, sad, tired or angry – a hefty power, although it wore off after awhile and wasn’t quite as good as the real thing.

Taehyung shook his head. “No, thanks. Appreciate the offer, though.”

“Anytime.”

As he climbed the stairs, Seokjin clapped Taehyung on the shoulder. “Sorry, man,” he mumbled, understanding the fear. Truly, they all did. “Let me know if you need anything. I’m gonna bake later if you wanna stop by.”

Taehyung smiled despite himself. If there was one earthly power which could cure his longing, it was Seokjin’s cookies. “Thanks, man.”

Shooting him a sympathetic look, Jungkook nodded and Jimin poked him hard in the ribs. “C’mon,” Jimin said, jerking his chin. “Let’s go help Hobi with his playlist before Seokjin pops a vein worrying.”

A giant grin stretched over Jungkook’s face, which the rest of them should have found worrisome. 

“Cool.” Head bobbing, he followed Jimin down the hall. “Yoongi showed me this great eastern European doom metal band. Gonna see if I can get Hobi to play it tonight.”

Jimin snorted, his voice growing softer the further away he got. “Get the demi-god of the sun to play doom metal? Good luck with that, man.”

“Maybe if I tell him Mariah Carey covered it.”

The sounds of their conversation faded to nothing, leaving Taehyung alone in the hall with Namjoon. Turning quickly, Taehyung attempted to leave but was halted in his descent by Namjoon clearing his throat. 

Slowly, Taehyung looked up at his friend.

Namjoon looked back. 

No one could stare quite like Namjoon. He had a piercing gaze, as though he saw every piece of your soul and was able to size you up to expectation. It made Taehyung wildly uncomfortable, as it did most people.

“You know you’re only a half god, right?” Namjoon tilted his head. “Part of you is also human.”

“I know.” Taehyung’s voice came out somewhat petulant, though he did not mean it to be.

Crossing both arms, Namjoon leaned a shoulder against the wall. His irises glowed the gentle gold of Athena. “It’s hard to control our powers,” he admitted. “It is, but there are difficulties in any relationship. Don’t give up on your own happiness.”

A wan smile crossed Taehyung’s lips. “Are the difficulties in most relationships that the guy semi-drugs his girlfriend whenever he loses control?”

Namjoon winced. “You don’t drug them.”

“Feels like it,” Taehyung muttered, glancing down.

“Their natural impulses are already there,” Namjoon pointed out. “Your presence at parties doesn’t make people drunk. People drinking makes people drunk. You only lower their inhibitions, call out their truth, give people the freedom inebriation gives without intoxication. You grant people their truest form – which is a gift, not a curse.”

Taehyung didn’t respond. He knew Namjoon was right, at least in part. Still, there existed within him a kernel of darkness he couldn’t control. His power was linked to such horror and melancholy; it was hard sometimes to see the light.

“Hey.” Namjoon took a step closer. His voice took on that maddening wisdom which came from the goddess. “We all have burdens. Humans do too, along with demi-gods. Our greatest strengths are often our greatest weaknesses. Someone who’s confident is prideful. Someone who’s humble? Inactive. Someone who rationalizes, often fails to empathize. It’s why relationships are necessary, Taehyung – they provide balance. You can’t simply close yourself off from the rest of the world.”

Taehyung’s gaze sharpened, looking up from the floor. The vines at his feet unfurled, reminding them that while Taehyung’s power was mostly parties and fun, there was a dark side of revelry which couldn’t be forgotten. Madness and misery emerged just as often as goodness when he called true selves forth.

“Okay.” Taehyung kept his voice level.

Seeing he wouldn’t budge on the matter, Namjoon sighed.

Truthfully, Taehyung heard his advice and longed to accept it, but found it too hard. It was difficult when his chest ached for you, when he couldn’t stop chastising himself for the moment you ran from his house.

Namjoon nodded and turned down the staircase. “Let me know if you need anything,” he called over his shoulder. “Gonna go and make sure Yoongi hasn’t turned the basement into another séance, or something.”

As he left, his footsteps growing quieter, Taehyung stared the sight of his retreating back. Uncertainty entered the pit of his stomach, wondering if perhaps Namjoon was right. The sanest to date Taehyung had felt was the past year in the house, living amongst others who understood what he was.

Maybe it was foolish of him to push you away.

As soon as he thought this, his phone chimed in his pocket. The sight of your name at the top of his screen sent his heart soaring, wondering if this coincidence was something he couldn’t ignore. Pushing blue-black hair from his eyes, he unlocked your text.

Y/N: hey. I just wanted to apologize for leaving so quickly. I think I drank too much, got carried away but… I really liked our conversation. Would you want to get coffee sometime? [4:15 PM]

Taehyung’s heart constricted, his hands trembled and before he could stop himself, he was responding.

Taehyung: yes, please. When?? [4:16 PM]

 Author’s Note: hey, I just got service at the hotel so I’m posting but I haven’t proof-read as much as I usually do! Please forgive any errors, I promise to read over it again in the coming days :) thank you!

↳ part of my AU drabble game

Greek Life!All + brainstorming fundraiser ideas for the frat

[flameontheotherside]

No, I dont want this experience!

Yes, I've thought of all logical possibilities from being manic, psychotic to coincidences to demonic enfluences. But I have way too many coincidences and experiences to just call all of this some fantasy I made up because my life sucks.

I wish all of this was just all of the above.

I would kill to be a normal human being.

I would love if my TWIN FLAME weren't dead.

I hate knowing random things and seeing them happen like nothing.

My life sometimes feels like a shitshow.

How would you handle my life? Trust me, you wouldn't. Every once in a while I get into a funk and literally lay in bed for a day or two crying because I feel insane. I know I'm not insane and that makes me feel worse.

If I were insane, if it turned out I need a priest (I know I dont) I'd seriously jump for joy because that means I can leave all of this shit behind me! It would give me hope!

I wear crosses (& other protection) and take my medications.

I'm protecting myself and keeping up with my medications because IRONICALLY ENOUGH, IM NOT PSYCHIC WITHOUT THEM! I literally have been on about 20 different medications at different dosages over 10 years and saw no difference. My medications help me be focused and clear headed.

Which is KIND OF important if I want to connect to the spirit world!

So yeah in case you needed to see if I'm insane or into some freaky demonic fuck-shit, SUPRIIIIISE! I'm not hopped up on spirit juice or cracked out of my natural mind.

Its knowing I'm not crazy, that fucks me up.

I like to say I'm grounded and down to earth outside of the spiritual talk. Not that it matters, I love talking about philosophies, historical stuff and learning about ancient cultures. I love drawing and painting, learning code and making websites. But to have to sit and write nonsense? I have an "imagination", but I have a hard time reading fiction and I'm a shitty liar. I read NON-FICTION! Fuuuuuuuuuck that! So to write the truth, only to be gaslit is fucking bullshit. Like I want this in my life. The fuck?

Idk if you can tell, but my typos should give it away. I hate writing. Even my hand writing is so bad and I get carpotunnel. If you have seen the birthday letter in my handwritten journal, not very feminine handwriting. Its straight chicken scratch. So to consistently write fantasy for like 3.5 years makes no sense to me no matter if it were from a book or online journal. At least to me.

Generally this experience is hurtful.

My tf is dead and without knowing it or understanding it, I was looking for some white dude outside of fl. I mean, thats all I had to go on and it was so frustrating, I spoke to a psychic about it who predicted his death months before it happened.

🙃 So excuse me if I routinely get into a funk.

If you seriously think I could waste my life on stupid fantasy, kindly go fuck yourself and the person next to you, you fucking dipshit cunt-nozzle. I would love to have a normal life but I can't. At least you aren't me and you can run far far away. Unfortunately I'm stuck always waiting for a psychotic break or for a demon to start bending my limbs backwards spewing ectoplasm. For 3.5 years none have happened yet. Go fucking figure. But first...

I'm not even making money off this and if I wanted to, I wouldn't use my TFs name like a selfish person would. Thats real fuck-shit I don't want on my conscience. Thats 500mg of nope.

...kindly go fuck yourself and the person next to you, you fucking dipshit cunt-nozzle.

😘💕 Or have a wonderful weekend and don't...

...kindly go fuck yourself and the person next to you, you fucking awesome as fuck person!

[dramaclover]

Ending & Thoughts: Al Cappuccino

Another wacky and zany drama. Now I’m telling you now. Do not go into this drama expecting a dark thrilling undercover cop show. Cause this ain’t it. It’s more on the hilarious, lighthearted take on the police and triads. It’s not realistic in any way. Well I mean, no drama is fully realistic but this one is the exact opposite of how things should’ve gone down.

The amount of times where they talked OPENLY LOUD about who and who is undercover is ridiculous. It’s like they don’t even try to hide the fact. Typically only one or two people would know a certain someone is undercover. In this drama the handlers whole teams know, as well as her superiors. The amount of times they would meet up in public spaces or just casually call them over their personal phone is mind blowing. At first it was annoying, cause every time they did something so openly, I would think well “cover is blown”. But that’s not the case. As you continue to watch, you start to ignore it and pretend everyone is deaf and blind to this. When that happens the drama starts to become entertaining.

This whole drama just focused on one storyline and that is investigating who killed the triad boss. We don’t find out who it is until the very end. The stories in between talks about Chiang Sai Lung (Vincent Wong) taking over the head triads role. A lot of struggles in between with him trying to stay in this role. Side stories dealing with love lines, fan service scenes of bromance. The bromance was a huge factor and what made me so compelled to keep watching. Honestly Sai Lung and his 4 love interests were totally boring to me. I enjoyed his bromance with Go Bun (Owen Cheung)more. Also really liked Koo Yan Yi (Crystal Fung) as the handler and watch as the 3 become very close. This trio was fun to watch compared to those unnecessary side love stories.

Sai Lungs love story features heavily in this drama, so I can’t just not talk about them. The 4 woman in Sai Lungs life comprises of Koo Yan Yi aka Madam Koo, his handler that has a strong sense of justice & loyalty. So Tsz Shan (Kathy Yuen) a timid woman who aspires to be a teacher. Chong Ming Lai (Samantha Ko) a haughty actress. And Yiu Ching Shui aka Shui jie (Angel Chiang), the confident, outspoken business woman. Out of the 4, I only liked Madam Koo & Shui Jei. I guess this is TVBs attempt to make him similar to Chor Lau Heung where everyone falls in love with the male lead despite him not even trying.

Tsz Shan is so boring and easily bullied. She was not fun to watch, I didn’t think she had chemistry with Sai Lung and odd enough she was a huge fan favourite. Which I can’t wrap my head around, her character was just so bland to me. She’s so oblivious to her Dad and brothers wrongdoings. It gets annoying when she’s so blind to it all. I know it’s hard to believe your family member is evil, but really? Her role here is basically to be the main love interest to Sai Lung since she plays no role in solving the main mystery. She hasn’t even tried to help Sai Lung to uncover anything. She’s always so timid and getting put into a position where she’s in danger. Way too damsel in distress for me.

Ming Lai was super annoying, all she does is bother Sai Lung and threatens to make him stay by her side. And when she forces him to announce that their dating (they actually aren’t) she gets pissed when he leaves her for someone else. Like girl, you know he doesn’t like you. You blackmailed him into staying with you. Like what did you expect? Also her character could be written out and no one would notice her gone. That’s how unnecessary she was. She’s literally a filler character created to fill up the 30 episode slot. Samantha Ko is a great actress, it just sucks her role here is so unneeded.

Shui Jie was a breath of fresh air. Originally she was sent to seduce Sai Lung but she ends up falling for him instead. I really disliked how she fell for him though, it came out of nowhere. They met 4 times and suddenly she’s in love? It was to rush and random for me. But as a character itself, she was a breeze to watch. She’s super confident and smart. Unlike Tsz Shan she’s able to help Sai Lung in solving a lot of his problems and find ways to warn him of danger. I love how brave she is. She’s not afraid to tell someone she loves them and pursue it.

Madam Koo was also another likeable character. She doesn’t want to be known as just a pretty rich girl. She wants to prove that she can be a successful cop. You can tell how much faith she puts into Go Bun and Sai Lung. She treats them fairly and always finds way to help them. I really like how she can remain calm and think things through. When Go Bun and Sai Lung seemingly betrays her. She doesn’t get angry instead she goes and secretly investigates what’s going on. That is how she figured out how her Father was one of the masterminds. And she did that all alone.

Another side love story would be between Go Bun and Chiang Chin Ha (Winki Lai). They were fun to watch and had awesome chemistry. From the beginning we see that they both liked each other but won’t make a move. Chin Ha with her pride and knowing Go Bun would not reciprocate. Go Bun on the other hand is a cop. To him he can never be with someone involved with the triads. So it becomes a can’t help but love each other story. They were cute together but it was unrealistic for Chin Ha to forgive Go Bun so easily after finding out 1) he’s an undercover cop and 2) he only approached her to solve the case. Essentially Go Bun used her infiltrate the triad. The fact that it was glossed over so quickly made no sense. Chin Ha is a strong minded business person who strongly cares about her family. Yet, Go Bun lied to her all this time and used not only her but her family as well, and she’s okay with it? I’m glad they got a happy ending but I wished it showed more of the internal struggle with her finding out.

I’m always hoping for a good plot twist so I was secretly hoping that Cheung Sai Lun was actually Chiang Sai Lung. And that he was faking it the whole time cause he was upset that his family left him in the orphanage. The amount of scenarios that ran in my mind LOL. I also thought maybe he is Chiang Sai Lung but he himself didn’t know and it just became a case of mistaken identity (this would’ve been sooo good especially towards the end where they had a DNA test done). My third theory was Chiang Sai Lung is not dead and that he would show up in the end to reclaim his identity. But as you can see none of that happened. Don’t worry though, cause there were other plot twists that caught me off guard.

The first one is Sai Lung getting so caught up with his method acting that he actually becomes cruel. He along with Go Bun betrays Madam Koo and turns to the dark side of the triad. I was so invested in this. I really thought Sai Lung could no longer break his character and that he had fallen into deep. This has happened in real life where actors could no longer separate real from fake. I love that they added that into the storyline cause it makes it all real and scary. Of course turns out it was all an act to sniff out the real killer. Unfortunately it was easy to figure out that it was an act once he had a “fall out” with Go Bun. That part was a little too much for it to be real. And that’s when the surprises stop.

The second one would be the development of Szeto Shun (Jack Hui) a cop that relies on dirty tactics to climb up in ranks. He is one of the many antagonist, what makes him different though is that he repents and redeems himself by the end. His character had the best development if you ask me. He went from someone whose dream was to be a cop, to using underhanded methods to get his way to finally becoming a human again. He gets so caught up in promotions that he forgot why he became a cop in the first place which is for justice. When he helped Madam Koo arrest the bad guy he said something along the lines of “I have done bad things, but in the end I’m still a cop”. He said that as the reason why he decided to do the right thing for once. At first I thought he’d be the typical evil cop that ends up dying. But this character proved me wrong. In the end he turns himself in as he wanted to take responsibility for his actions.

I was shocked that no one died in this drama. And when I say that I obviously meant the main characters. Usually the obligatory best friend, love interest, family member heck even one of the bad guys would die. But that didn’t happen. They all survived, even the bad guys just quietly went to jail. Speaking of bad guys, their problems were resolved so quickly that it was pointless. We did not sit through all of that drama just for the bad guys to one by one casually reveal what happened. It was so unoriginal too. Like Madam Koos father got touched by her speech about good and evil that her father confessed to the crime. Tsz Shans father out of guilt for being the cause of her daughters injuries confessed to everything to “repent”. Even the ultimate black cop just spewed the truth out once asked. Like I understand he was caught red handed but he literally revealed all of the information once questioned? He’s not even gonna try to fight it? He doesn’t even have an emotional backstory for him to feel guilty to admit the truth. It just happened. It was so nonsensical that I got confused that it all ended so quickly. There wasn’t even a huge fighting showdown. Which is why I say despite this dubbed as a undercover triad thriller drama. It isn’t! Being an undercover cop was like a backdrop, even the mystery death was sidelined. The focus was on the familial and bromance relationship. The drama would’ve been short if they hadn’t added in the random romances.

Acting wise, I’ve seen a lot of hate against Crystal. There were so many complaints in the international forums I literally thought she was a train wreck. Well she wasn’t. I don’t see how she ruined the drama? I’m convinced that people just complain about her cause they aren’t happy about her being promoted by TVB. But guys you need to chill. Her acting is pretty decent. She isn’t screaming her lines or bulging her eyes out. She is stiff and needs more work on enunciating. This was her first leading drama and she’s still so new. I really thought her acting would be like Sisley Choi from 2012 with the screaming or Charmaine Sheh from 1998 with the overreacting. But she wasn’t. Also people complained about her wardrobe cause she was dressed so fashionably. Are you guys blind? All the main males in this drama are dressed in suits 24/7 whether they’re a cop or not. Literally Go Bun and Sai Lung wears a suit everyday walking around. They’re not wearing causal wear. Why is no one hating on them? The double standards are scary. But then again it could just be hate against Crystal in general. Back when Niki Chow and Kate Tsui played as cops they would wear high heels and pretty clothes as well but no one said anything. And this drama was anything but realistic. I find that it’s the international fans that are complaining, Hong Kong netizens are actually satisfied with Crystal.

Owen Cheung has finally found his niche and that is comedy. Every drama he’s been in, I’ve always been unimpressed with him. But then I figured out it’s mostly cause he gets typecasted as the “hot” guy in which I personally think he’s not. He’s more suited for nerdy roles like (The Offliners) or comedic roles like this one. It’s like how Benjamin Yuen is wooden in serious roles and only good in comedy ones as well. The bromance between him Vincent was great. So hilarious that I sometimes wished the drama just focused on their bromance only.

The ending was open ended in a way. Go Bun and Chin Ha gets married. The Chiang family has left the triad behind and deals with legal business only. Sai Lun has to make a choice of staying in Hong Kong or pursuing his acting dreams overseas. And between the 4 woman in love with him, he doesn’t end up with either of them. Only ending with saying how he’s happy he met the 4 of them. Obviously he loves Tsz Shan the most. No question about it. The 4 woman knows that as well. So I don’t know why they ended it like that. This is the first drama where the female lead loves the male lead but they don’t end up together. Instead he falls fall for the second lead instead. I’m okay with it as I prefer Madam Koo and Sai Lun as good friends but it’s surprising to see them go down this route instead. Sequel? Hmm I don’t know. What could the sequel be about? Sai Lun can’t just go undercover in a different family again. Unless they shift the focus from triad/ cops to something else.

Despite the flaws I love this drama. I kept wanting to watch the next episode compared to Death by Zero. I was just so into the bromance and the hilarious antics. It’s just so entertaining. I know I complained a lot, but this is one drama I highly recommend you to watch. Just don’t go into it believing it’s like Infernal Affairs or Line Walker. This is in the running to be one of TVBs better dramas of 2020 along with Brutally Young and Death by Zero!