#i could just use her last url or something

[bigothteddies]

anyways now that 12 hours and passed and I’ve slept, a little bit better of a summary: (also I think I’m gonna start referring to her as Princess when I talk about her on here cause her some of her old url’s have had princess in it and it’s one of the pet names I use most often for her)

I did end up getting to see her !! She drove down like she said she would and met me in a parking lot next to the beach. She drove us out for some food and took my In-N-Out virginity and it was fun! We then went back and ended up hanging out on the beach for the rest of the time until we walked back to her car and delayed saying goodbye until she had to leave 💔. Short and sweet visit! Umm nothing really happened we didn’t get kiss we didn’t go back go back to my hotel room or anything hands never ended up between any legs ! But it was still really fun, she was really adorable IRL and had such a playful personality. We flirted a lot and I definitely teased too much! Ended up with my thumb in her mouth at one point and *might* have gently tugged on her hair at one point when she was bein bratty so there was definitely some fun tension between us 🥰 All in all I’m really happy I saw her ! She says she’d love to see me again so hopefully that’ll happen I just don’t know when

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Caplan's Disney Celebration

Rules:

You don’t have to follow me, but its definitely encouraged!

PLEASE use a summary!!

If the fic is more the 300 words, use a keep reading feature!!!

Tag the challenge as #

There’s no limit how many prompts you can chose!

Tag my url & the challenge name in the a/n’s note before the fic along with the hashtag please!

No due dates 

Any character you’d like to write for!

once a fic has been given to me, they will be placed in a masterlist

If i do not respond to your fic within 24 hours of posting, PLEASE message me a link!!

Dialogue Prompts

"Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back ... and remember me."

 "Have you ever seen something so wonderful in your entire life?"

“How did you survive being locked up in a castle for all this time?”

“What do you mean, you’re the lost princess?”

"Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten"

“It’s called a cruel irony, like my dependence on you.”

“I warn you child. If I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?!”

“Perhaps you shouldn’t turn your back on me.” 

 “A true loves kiss. If only there was someone out there who loved you.” 

"Today is a good day to try"

"Love is putting someone else’s needs before yours"

"If you ain’t scared, you ain’t alive"

"Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So, today is my new favorite day"

"He fell into despair, and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?"

“You really shouldn’t come back here, you know. It’s not safe.”

“I told you to stay away from this wing!”

“He was this close—just staring at me.”

“Do you trust me?”

“(And) You will always be in my heart.”

“I especially love his smile.”

“New and a bit alarming.”

“Now kiss her.”

“How can I prove myself if no one will give me a chance?”

“People around here think I’m crazy, but I don’t care.”

“I’m a damsel. I’m in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.”

“Guys….I want a castle.”

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

“When I look at you, I can feel it. I look at you, and I’m home.”

“Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.”

“There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

“It was worth it…if you learned something from it.”

“You deliberately disobeyed me.”

“I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“How could you do that to me?”

Song Lyric prompts

“And I’ve got friends on the other side.” - Dr. Facilier, “Friends on the Other Side”, 

“But you’ll be rewarded when at last I am given my dues. And injustice deliciously squared! Be prepared.”

“I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty. They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch.”

“If she doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will.”

“I’ve reached the top and had to stop and that’s what botherin’ me.”

“Ain't got time for messing around”

“People down here think I'm crazy”

“I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine.

“Don’t forget it, you’ll regret it.”

“Every hour we spent together Lives within my heart”

“Never thought she'd look my way And she smiled at me and held me”

“I was the master of my fate.”

“I learned the truth too late.”

“I let her steal into my melancholy heart.”

“I'm where I'm meant to be”

“He has never been one of us.”

“Now I know she’ll never leave me.” 

“I should thank you...but it’d be more fun to kill you.”

“This crown gives me a feeling of power!”

“It’s not my fault, I’m not to blame”

“He asked for trouble the moment he came”

[forest-hashira]

New Lengths

I CONTINUE TO PROVIDE ALL THE TRANSFEM GOJO CONTENT I WANT AND CAN'T FIND ELSEWHERE!!! this time back with the reader inserts! (there's a stsg transfem gojo piece on my ao3 account if anyone wants to read that too!) anyways sorry it's been so long since i updated this series, i got stuck for a while. once again huge thank you to cal (i forgot your url i'm so sorry update he's @dr-runs-with-scissors) bc he loves transfem gojo probably as much as i do and constantly encourages me to come back to her. love u friend 💜

series masterlist here | read on ao3 here | wc: ~2.3k | cw: transfem gojo (duh), gender neutral reader, fluff as usual, you trim her undercut, that's basically it lol

The progression of Satoru making changes to her appearance was gradual, and you’d been with her every step of the way, encouraging her to take things at a pace that felt natural to her. 

Of course, you’d also been happy to indulge her at every turn, painting her nails every time she decided she wanted to try a different color – she’d amassed quite the collection of blues and glittery top coats since that first trip to the drugstore –  as well as helping her find different makeup products to try out, though most of that browsing was done online. 

A few weeks after she started wearing lip gloss out of the house, she’d gained the confidence to let you put a little bit of product on her brows and lashes. It wasn’t anything super noticeable, just a bit of clear gel, but she’d been ecstatic the whole day afterwards, her eyes sparkling behind her sunglasses. 

A few days after she started wearing the gloss and lash gel out of the house, you noticed her hair had gotten a bit longer, and it no longer stood up as straight when she wore the blindfold. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen any noticeable difference in the length of her hair, so you decided to bring it up.

“You haven’t been wearing your blindfold as much lately,” you murmured from your spot on the bed, gently rubbing some leave-in conditioner into her hair – not really anything fancy, just something to help keep it soft and fluffy – and giving her a gentle scalp massage in the process.

“Haven’t felt like it,” Satoru answered casually, leaning a bit further into your legs from her spot on the floor in front of you as you continued to work the product into the damp strands. “Feels better to wear the glasses when I wear product in my lashes, too. Doesn’t make everything feel crushed, I guess.”

You hummed, giving a small nod. The movements of your fingers slowed a bit, though you still continued to lightly scratch at her scalp the way you knew she liked. “Is your hair bothering you at all, either?” It was impossible to miss the way her shoulders tensed slightly at your question. “I noticed that it’s starting to fall in your face more than it used to, even with the blindfold on.”

She was silent for a few long moments, then nodded slightly. “Yeah, it does,” she agreed quietly, and when you looked further down, you could see she was rubbing her thumbs along the sides of her fingers, an anxious tic you’d noticed she had even before you’d started dating, but it seemed to have gotten worse since she’d started to transition in private.

The silence that settled over you then was tense, but not necessarily uncomfortable. When it became apparent to you that she wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence, though, you took a deep breath. “Do you want to grow it out, princess? Because you don’t have to, if you like your hair the length it is now. Plenty of women don’t grow their hair out long.” 

A shuddering sigh escaped her lips then, as if the words had given her permission to talk about changing this part of her appearance, permission to admit she was ready for another step forward. “I-I, uh…” Her voice faltered for a moment, but as always, you patiently waited until she was ready to speak again. “I think I do want to grow it out, yeah. B-but not the undercut, I wanna keep that short.”

“Yeah?” you murmured, smiling down at her as you trailed a hand lower, down the back of her head until you reached her undercut, gently scratching your nails across the area. “Hm, it could probably use a trim. But we can make sure to keep the rest long.” 

She relaxed into you a bit more again, and your expression softened.

“I know it’s a little late now, but do you want to contact your hairdresser about getting in to trim your undercut?”

Satoru grimaced slightly at your words, and she shook her head slightly. “You mean my barber? No, I don’t. Now that I’m transitioning… I don’t think I want to keep seeing him. Feels wrong.” She shifted a little, resting her cheek against your thigh. You could tell there was more behind her explanation of “feeling wrong” continuing to see her barber, but you weren’t going to push her to say any of it out loud; you had a pretty good idea of what she meant, anyways.

“That’s fine,” you assured her. “I can help you find another stylist, we can get you in to see someone then.”

“Well, actually…” she trailed off for a moment again, hesitating. “I was thinking… maybe you could trim it this time?” She tilted her head back to meet your gaze, her own blue eyes unsure. 

Your eyes widened in surprise at her words, and you blinked dumbly for a moment.

Taking your silence as hesitance, Satoru rushed to speak again. “Just this time! Just until I can find a new stylist. It’s getting long, and I really want it trimmed as soon as possible, and I’m still nervous—”

She was absolutely rambling, trying to fix the situation, when you cut her off. “I’ll trim it, princess. I don’t mind. I was just surprised, is all.” Wanting to make sure she understood that you were serious, you resumed scratching lightly at her scalp, smiling sweetly down at her.

Satoru practically melted at the touch, dropping like a puppet with the strings cut as the tension quickly left her body. She let out another shaky sigh, though now she was smiling slightly to herself, turning her head a bit further into your touch. “Thank you,” she murmured, pressing a sheepish little kiss to your knee.

The sensation tickled a bit, and you giggled softly, pulling your knee away from the touch out of reflex. “Of course, ‘Toru. Do you want to trim it now, or do you want to wait until tomorrow?” You really weren’t sure which way she would decide: she’d said she wanted a trim as much as possible, but she’d already showered and washed her hair that night, and you were certain she’d want to rinse any stray hairs off her skin once you were finished. 

“Are you okay with doing it tonight?” Her eyes were on yours again, her expression much more relaxed than before, and she blinked curiously up at you.

Once again, you were a bit surprised by her words, not having expected her to answer you so quickly, but you nodded easily. “Yeah, I’m fine with that.”

Her face lit up at your words, and she was quick to scramble to her feet. “Great!” she practically cheered, taking your hands and tugging you up from the edge of the bed.

Following her was easy, especially when she was so excited, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly at her eagerness; a sound born out of pure affection. You allowed her to pull you into the bathroom, standing and waiting patiently as she released you to pull a case from the cabinet. For a moment you were confused, until she opened it to reveal an electric beard trimmer and the guards to go with it.

“That’s what that thing is?” you asked, laughing again. “Why do you own those? I didn’t think you’d ever even grown facial hair.”

“I haven’t,” she confirmed with a smile. “Shoko got these for me as a joke a couple years ago. Not sure why I kept them all this time, honestly, but it looks like they’re coming in handy now, yeah?”

“They certainly are,” you agreed.

After looking over the set of guards, Satoru eventually picked the 1/8th of an inch length, and helped you get the guard attached to the trimmer.

Holding the trimmer in your hand, you looked her up and down, a slight frown on your face. “You’re too tall,” you said after a moment. “You’re gonna have to sit down so I can do this without accidentally making you bald.”

That got a laugh out of her. “I think I would prefer to keep at least some of my hair for now,” she teased lightly, but sat down on the closed toilet lid. “Better?”

“Yes,” you confirmed, relieved that it did, in fact, change the height difference enough for you to have a good angle. “Can you pull the rest of your hair out of the way? I need to get a towel to wrap around your shoulders.”

Satoru nodded, digging around in one of the drawers for a hair tie as you turned to the linen closet and grabbed a towel. By the time you turned back to face her, Satoru had managed to tie the rest of her hair up in a small ponytail on the very top of her head, and the way it stuck up made you giggle as you wrapped the towel around her shoulders.

“What?” she demanded, feigning indignance. “I look beautiful right now, I’ll have you know.”

“Beautiful like a flower getting ready to bloom,” you teased, pressing a quick kiss to her lips before moving around to stand behind her again. Picking up the clippers from where you’d set them on the counter, your whole demeanor grew serious again. “I need you to really try to stay still, okay ‘Toru?”

“I’ll try my best,” she promised, shooting you a reassuring smile over her shoulder. “I trust you.”

You did your best to smile back at her, then gently turned her head so she was facing away from you once again. Swallowing thickly, you switched the clippers on, your grip tightening slightly as they began to buzz in your hand. 

Not for the first time, you were glad that working as a sorcerer for so many years had given you reasonably steady hands, but right now you were especially thankful, because it meant there was a much lower chance that you would make some sort of mistake while trimming your girlfriend’s hair. You took your time, running the clippers in slow, straight passes up her scalp, watching as the little tufts of lavender-white hair drifted down and landed on the towel you’d draped around the sorceress’s shoulders before you started. 

A short while later, you were finished, and you shut off the clippers and set them aside. When Satoru began to move to get up, you were quick to stop her. “Hang on,” you told her, “let me wipe the hair off your neck.”

She settled again obediently, and you wet a washcloth, wringing out the excess water before turning back to her, gently running the damp fabric over her skin, murmuring a little apology when she jumped at the first touch.

When you were finished with that, you stood back, admiring your work. “Alright,” you said, smiling slightly to yourself. “All done.” You tossed the damp cloth into the sink to deal with later, and before she could do it herself, you pulled the towel from Satoru’s shoulders, careful to keep any of the trimmings from falling onto her or the floor.

“What do you think?” you asked, the two of you shuffling around each other a bit as she stood and moved to look in the mirror, and you stepped to the shower and shook the hair off the towel.

Satoru twisted and turned a bit, trying to get a good look in the mirror, eventually giving up and just running her fingers over it to test the length. “Hmm, yeah, much better,” she hummed, smiling at you in the mirror. “Thanks, baby.”

“You’re welcome, princess,” you told her easily, hanging up the towel. “Now, come on. It’s getting late and I want my princess cuddles.”

With a smile so bright it was nearly blinding, Satoru took your hand and led you back to the bedroom; even if she wasn’t feeling as tired as you were, she was always more than willing to indulge you in cuddles, because really, she adored them, too.

The two of you crawled into bed together, shuffling under the blankets and giggling quietly at each other as you pulled the blankets up over your shoulders. As you settled down, you realized your girlfriend’s hair was still pulled up in that goofy little ponytail, and you gently pulled the hair tie free, sliding it over your wrist in the process.

Her hair fell down around her head then, and as you tenderly brushed the strands from her eyes and tucked them behind her ear, you realized it really had gotten some length on it; the ends of her hair now rested only an inch or so above the bottom of her undercut, and you couldn’t help but twirl some of the strands between your fingers.

“Gonna have my own personal Rapunzel soon…” you yawned, offering her a sleepy smile.

Even in the dark of the bedroom, you could tell the words had her blushing fiercely. “I sure hope not,” she mumbled. “I don’t wanna be locked in a tower by an evil witch.”

A small hum of amusement escaped you, and you nuzzled a little closer to her, pressing a sleep-clumsy kiss to the corner of her lips. “Don’t worry,” you promised quietly. “I’d be your knight in shining armor and rescue from the tower, even if I had to climb up to you ‘cause you didn’t wanna get your hair dirty.”

Her bashful laugh was the last thing you heard as you drifted off, a gentle smile still curving your lips, one hand still fiddling with her hair.

taglist: @mitsuristoleme @kentohours @peachdues @ghost-1-y @witchbybirth

@marinnnnnnnnn if you'd like to be added my general taglist, let me know! always happy to add people 💜 divider by @/cafekitsune

[charmac]

Today I spent about an hour around/with Rob and I'm gonna write about it.

He recognised me from last night, came up and talked to us where I really lost all ability to calm or filter myself (which was, admittedly, already very little). He told me he's been seeing a lot of my Tweets and I asked why he followed me. He said he thought I had "a lot of fun and interesting things to say." I did not expect that, literally at all, I was trying to see if he knew my handle, @/pqdres, was for San Diego's baseball team, so I derailed myself from that conversation a bit lol oops.

The night before this he signed my S10 DVD cover on the plastic protector I had, so he offered to sign it properly when he noticed I had it with me again tonight:

I know I just kind of bulldoze over his words, (He said “Thank you for all the Twitter love”) but it’s because I had a script in my head and.. I'm sure a lot of you guys get it, lol. He didn't seem bothered, which I really appreciate.

He took individual photos with everyone who wanted one (like half the people in the bar (which wasn't even that many) had no interest in him) and when we were taking mine he asked for someone to shine an overhead light so we could get a good picture together bc I offhandedly said I needed to turn off my front flash.

I met him again, a little later at another bar (like Charlie and Glenn in October, he just kinda was walking around and hitting up various bars Four Walls was advertising at) and I apologised for my constant presence around him. The reason I stuck around was because I had one last request for the night, something I very much owed to @macdennissurvivor. I told him Emma was the person who got me into the Sunny fandom, and I would appreciate if he could say hi to her on camera. I started recording and then he said 'Nope give me your phone' and then went on a walk and recorded a 20 second video for her on my phone. I think that moment was a fundamental tilt for me.

I know I criticize this man a bit, but god-fucking-damn-it if he isn't the creator of my favourite show in the whole world, one of my favourite characters of all time, half of my URL, the reason I am writing and creating as much as I currently do, the reason I have made actual, real, deep friendships in the past few years, and he took so much time and patience with me, he recorded a whole video for my friend because he does fucking care. He sees us, this part of the fandom, and he appreciates it: that we’re a community and truly connect through his show. Words really can't express my emotions. Thank you Rob, for this.

[ear-motif]

deranged thoughts from me!!1!

ok so in hannibal i think ears are used to portray a passageway to the heart/soul and are a symbol of life itself. We get that fun shot of traveling down Hannibal's ear canal when he listens to the opera and is made to cry from it - he considers music to be something profoundly beautiful and worthy just like he does culinary and visual arts. You can get to Hannibal's heart through his eyes, tongue, or ears. The next time we focus on ears is when Will is fighting Tobias and manages to clip him in the ear when fighting him off. This makes Tobias run off and leaves Will's ears ringing. Tobias was someone who, like Hannibal, held musical arts in high regard. I'm not really sure what clipping him in the ear couldve symbolized, maybe foreshadowing to his death? idk. Anyways.

We get to Abigail. Losing an ear isn't deadly; Abigail has her ear cut off and fed to Will and is more or less ok. But I think this symbolizes a partial loss of her soul. By offering up her ear to further the goal of manipulating Will so that their weird little family can work, she gives up her last hope of true independence to Hannibal. One window to her heart is cut off and forced onto someone who never asked for it, who doesn't want Abigail to lose her independence. The remaining window (ear) is being fully occupied by Hannibal; she's bought into his honeyed words fully, the other ear that could listen to reason being stolen from her. I think this could be used to foreshadow her death as well - she's lost half of her self, so she is all the more vulnerable to having her spirit snuffed out.

Also, as @valentinsylve mentioned, the mushrooms in Eldon Stammets' garden look like ears. Kinda ties into my thesis about how ears can be a pathway to the soul and therefore also connection, since that's Eldon's whole thing.

And as @felicity-smoak-is-my-goddess mentioned, Will gets sent an ear during his trial. I honestly don't remember the chronological order of events during s2a that well (but I'm rewatching it rn) but it could be symbolic of Hannibal offering a piece of his soul to Will, putting his life on the line to get him free by killing the judge (but I don't remember if it's Hannibal or Michael that sends him the ear, or maybe it's never revealed. If it's Michael, then yea its a display of how much Will's work means to him as emulation is the highest form of flattery and Michael is offering up some of his soul to Will as well)

Anyways url change incoming

[a-new-vers]

~H5~

Woke up today to find out Halsey has set the stage for a new hunt for fans to go on. In true Halsey fashion, it's cryptic with a distinct visual style we can probably expect from this era.

So let's explore, shall we?

A Lil' Timeline:

Halsey played the 27th at Lollapalooza India. During their set before they began to play Gasoline, a visual on screen displayed a URL: FOR MY LAST TRICK (click to go to the site).

Click HERE to see a video of when it was displayed at the concert.

The Website:

The theme behind the website seems to be opening a miscellaneous stick/patch packet.

The first thing is prompting the user to "pull to open" as in a tag to swipe off. You can see the collection of patches behind the plastic wrap. Once you finally open the package, all the patches will disperse.

This is where the Internet sleuthing begins, people. 24 unique patches (technically 25, but I'll get into that later) with different meanings. Let's get into it.

1 - SNA Flight Tag

So really obscure, but googling Air California flight tag brought me to this used bookstore site. In any case, the thing to notice is the date it is attributed with, 1968.

2 - Vintage Blotter Art

According to this blog (which is the only place I could find the image), this is a vintage blotter from 1994. Blotter art is an "...art form printed on perforated sheets of absorbent blotting paper infused with liquid LSD."

3 - Blythe Dolls

I believe this doll is a Blythe doll. Image reverse search does not come up with an exact result, but from the details you can make out, the dolls eyes are quite clear. Which looks a lot like Blythe Dolls, a doll brand that came out in 1972. Their gimmick was that the eyes could move left to right.

4 - Witch Halsey

Unsure, but it would seem it's Halsey as a witch. The aesthetics are similar to IICHLIWP (H4).

If the main theme here is the 70s, there’s the movie Season of the Witch that came out in 1973, February 14th. It’s apparently commentary on traditional American suburban lifestyle through the perspective of a housewife who does not like her place in life. She meets a witch and progressively gets into the occult.

5, 18, 19, 23 - Outside of USA

5: It's hard to tell what most of the words are, but the text "Pagado" (Spanish for "paid") is on the piece of paper. . The particular location might be Palenque, a Mexican city. Relevant date: June 25th, 1977.

18: Belleville. Based on a real winter carnival programme. Belleville is a a city in Ontario, Canada. Relevant date: 1971.

19: “We smokers all want to be non-smokers too” or something along these lines. I'm trusting online translation for this (German to English). Unable to find when this was made.

23: “For Us.” French. The image search doesn’t result anything. Unable to find when this was made.

6 - Peril is My Pay

Based off of a detective book involving traveling. The font is the exact same as one of the book covers. It was published in 1960s.

7 - I have something to tell you

A sign up. I assume it has to do with being updated on any album news.

Looking through the inspect tab you can see the information is being sent to “Sony Fan Music.” It does take note of which country you are in and your address.

8 , 9 - Round visuals

I think these are visuals to give grasp to the 70s theme. It’s reminiscent of 60’s/70’s clothing/aesthetic.

10 - Michigan license plate.

1971 comes up in the plate. Michigan has come up in HFK (H2), on Bad At Love. I doubt this has anything to do about the “boy back in Michigan” but perhaps traveling back throughout her albums.

11 - Ghost

Jan 27th 2014, interesting date to put since this is the date this is all happening, just a decade after.

I've seen some people say this is meant to be the anniversary for Ghost, the song. Although it came out in 2014, its release date was in July, and it originally came out on sound cloud on February 3rd. So unsure why Jan 27th is there. EDIT: I have been made aware that Jan 27th 2014 was its international release date! I am but a fool.

The text can be in response to the lyric “Where did you go?” and the themes on the song of someone leaving. IDK, this could also be a meta thing. If a theme here is traveling and visiting locations/people, then perhaps one thing you won't find if the ghost?

Additionally, this follows the theme of revisiting her previous albums.

12 - Cannel 17

WPHL-TV is a television station in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States, serving as the local outlet for The CW Television Network. The logos here are form the 60’s/70’s.

13 - Master Mystifier

Or, alternatively, Harry Houdini. The date I do not believe has any relevance here but perhaps the idea of magic.

I came about the google search “Houdini’s Last Trick” where his last trick is widely asked about. It would seem to be an inspiration for the name of the website. So potentially Halsey will lean into magic, tricks, and deception.

14 - Calling Cards

Text on card: “Compliments - May I See (C) You (U) Home? If not, please return this card.”

“May I See You Home” seemed to be a common phrase for calling cards. They were handed out to ask people out. Again, the font and images are similar to H4 aesthetic. These were used in the 18th and 19th century.

15 - B&W Hair

Oh, I actually no idea.

16 - Candy

The closest I could get to finding what this meant is when this font was used for the book Candy by Maxwell Kenton, published in 1958.

As wiki describes the plot "Candy Christian, aged eighteen, is an extremely pretty and desirable but naïve young woman, who finds herself in a variety of farcical sexual situations as a result of her desire to help others. The men in her life, regardless of age or relationship, wish only to possess her."

17 - Southern-Belle

Clearly the saying southern belle. A girl born form the south, typically with certain attributes. The saying came from the idea that “... a girl who was expected to grow up into a lady. She was supposed to be fragile and flirtatious while also sexually innocent. She was beautiful but risky to touch, like porcelain.”

https://historyengine.richmond.edu/episodes/view/2259#:~:text=Course%3A,risky to touch%2C like porcelain

20 - Rabbit

I couldn’t find anything that looks the same, but I assume it has to do with Alice and Wonderland. Concerning dates, the book was published in the 1800s, while the arguably most famous iteration (the animated movie) came out in the 50s.

However, this can relate to the potential theme of magic and deception and girl/womanhood. But I’m also inclined to think the rabbit might have nothing to do with Wonderland and might be something else all together.

21 - K-Mart

Wiki comes in handy here. As described, “Satisfaction Always icon seen on Kmart branded packaging until the mid-to-late 70s, adapted from a hanging sign displayed in every early Kmart store.” So 70’s themed.

https://logos.fandom.com/wiki/Kmart_(United_States)/Other?file=Kmart_-_1960s_(Satisfaction).svg.

22 - Eye, Eye, Eye, and Eye

The eyes. Girl IDK, they’re eyes. They kind of remind me of the biblically accurate angels and the eyes they have. Although, I doubt that's what they're meant to be.

24 - Cigarette

People seem to think this relates more to Badlands, and I’m inclined to agree.

Themes:

Here are overall themes that seem to be present within the collection.

- Travelling

- Magic

- 60s-70s

- Eyes

- Books

- A Feminist Lens

- Past albums

A Tangent on Web Dev:

I just kinda wanted to point out the cool coding stuff they've done. When the patches are still in the plastic bag, they're always randomized in which order they're in (you have to refresh to notice this). They also disperse in a randomized order. I thought maybe the way they disperse could be a trail of sorts, like a map. But it seems totally random. I still find it cool how they've done that, every time in a different location, as if you open the package they come out uniquely for each person.

Oh and about the 25 patch, it seems the first patch in your packet appears twice when you open it. Idk if the number 25 matters or if this was done by accident. But the 25th patch is a duplicate, and never one in particular, just which ever is the first in your shuffle.

The End

For now.

[felixravinstills]

For the Send Me a Character meme, Coriolanus Snow please.

Ask Game Thanks, anon! I'm keeping this mostly to Snow in tbosas, because I really need to re-read the OG trilogy. (also I fell asleep writing this last night for me, and my laptop died and I had to start over, so that's why I had to take a break for a bit from answering these)

My first impression

He is the villain. (no judgment) Read this as "he's just a guy filling his role in the narrative" type comment. I was like nine when I first read THG… I wasn't having the deepest thoughts. I did like him as a character though! But there were no deeper thoughts than "he's a good villain!"

My impression now

He's so interesting! Like I don't talk about him that much but I feel like there's so much to talk about! I really love hearing my mutuals talk about him! There's so much there!

Favorite thing about that character

The way that he is shown to be capable of empathy and has every reason to not accept/support the Capitol, but he does! He does! What a tragedy! You could have put the pieces together and realized that this system is broken and will only ever harm you, and he decides to try and control it instead.

Least favorite thing

I think some people on Discord brought it up recently (el, was it el?), but his plastic surgery being kind of used to accentuate his villainy felt like a bad stereotype.

Favorite line/scene

How awful, Coriolanus thought. To have you be the first person in the world a baby sees. (Ch. 16)

Genuinely, so funny, and the rest of that scene… well, it's my favorite interaction.

Favorite interaction that character has with another

Continuing on from the scene above! Just Volumnia sharing her worldview with him! While she's stitching him up! (He's her creature :) ) She also is sharing this "we are all inherently violent" worldview with him right after he killed Bobbin… she's like offering him an emotional out. An kind of escape from guilt (whether she know it or not). Absolution. It's okay/normal you killed someone, Coriolanus! It's human nature <- according to Volumnia's worldview.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

Making eye contact with my url and pfp… Felix… Please, Coriolanus. For me. Prove me right. Prove my weird "I'm who you should be" jealousy (on both sides) correct.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

John Gaius from The Locked Tomb! I've made the comparison before, and I won't get too into it lest I insert more TLT spoilers onto my blog.

A headcanon about that character

He does have a soft spot for the people he grew up with! Especially Clemensia and Festus! I also, however, don't think that it would save them if they become too much of a threat in his eyes, but he'd be more willing to ignore the possibility of them becoming a threat for longer than others.

(i also think that he probably kills a good chunk of his classmates, but not all of them. I think some people died more normal death, maybe a rebel attempt at an attack, maybe other Capitolite's climbing the ladder. I think he kills enough of them that some of the others suspect, and the growing horror of that person who was some sort of friend to you in the past. mwah! that's enough for me!)

A song that reminds of that character

A Mark On You by the Mountain Goats. Guys, you reached the depths of my ability to think up songs. idk if I can articulate why with this one. It's not the style for sure. But the lyrics. There's something there for me.

An unpopular opinion about that character

This isn't really an unpopular opinion, but every time I see one of those posts going around about how you shouldn't thirst over young Snow, I always think "honestly, I'm really shocked that there wasn't this level of thirst for older Snow." But also I like hanging out at the geriatric ward of Panem so maybe I'm biased.

Also again, not really an unpopular opinion where I hang out but maybe out in the world, it is idk. I don't think he's a lady's man or anything like that. I don't think he's like sleeping around even when he gains confidence after becoming financially secure. (but I respect everyone's different interpretations!)

Favorite picture

I mean... of course, it's from one of my favorite scenes!

But also I love Snow laughing at his execution <3

[hellsite-detective]

*sighs in relief* (anon looking for the red blog with a blue eye pfp)

My most notable post, and the one this blog reblogged multiple times that brought our paths across each other, was a "do you love the color of the sky" post, but I made it extra long. Like, several times as long as the original. It was evil, I know. It was for April Fools. The blog I'm looking for reblogged it from me en masses, a good 20-40 times in a row. That's what made me take notice of them. Most of the time I just reblogged posts, but that one was a special occasion. I also had a bunch of back and forth posts with a different mutual, tagged #homeskillet, which might be unique enough to be of use? Oh, and one of my most popular posts was a Awsten from the band Waterparks that I edited to have transparent hair so it would change color with your blog theme (made that for a friend). Maybe that would help? The blog I'm looking for never reblogged that post, but it still might be worth something?

My old blog used to be ftinally (currently on anon because my new url is extremely similar, but I've had too many bad experiences with sending asks off anon and then getting a bunch of hateful asks in response that I'm wary of attaching my url to asks).

The title of my blog was "don't write yourself off yet", like the Jimmy Eat World song. It was only deleted around September/October, so the trail isn't too cold yet. Hopefully some of that information is useful? Thank you so much for looking into this!

finally... a lead. first thing was first, i saw the mention of "do you love the color of the sky" and jumped for joy. see, i'm very close with Madame Curator, @hellsite-hall-of-fame. and dare i say she is the Queen of the Sky. i went to her and asked for any extra long color of the sky posts, to which she sent me two different variants. however, neither of these were gettin' me where i needed to go. luckily, i was provided a blog name i could track! doin' quite a bit of diggin' i managed to stumble across the aformentioned Awsten post. now, i know that i was told that the missing person hadn't reblogged this one, but at least i could confirm this was what i was lookin' for.

so, i went down to my ol' pal, Google, to see if they knew anything about "tumblr ftinally." and they handed me a whole laundry list of links. it was time to meticulously check every single one of these. i was hopin' to stumble across the color of the sky image that my client had mentioned. unfortunately, i wasn't findin' the color of the sky post. however, i went back to the Awsten post and thought i might be able to use that as a lead. problem was, that wasn't gonna do me much good. usin' the Wayback Machine and searchin' for the blog's address also wasn't doin' me much good, and i was gettin' worried this was gonna be a dead end.

i hate to do this again, but is it possible you have any defining characteristics of that color of the sky post you made? any accompanying text, tags you may have used, or even original image files and could reverse image search? and of course, feel free to message me this information in private if it's too personal to share in an ask, or not mention it at all if you're not comfortable!

additionally, when you say "red blog" do you mean the blog had a red theme, or the blue eye was on a red background in the actual image? that also may help to narrow the search!

i will not give up on you, anon. i will find your mutual if it's the last thing i do!

Post Case: Under Investigation

[horrendous-bisexual-showdown]

Poll 4

Solveig (She/Her) by @spellinwaiting

Why Should Your OC Win?

her life is so fucking hard she needs to win something just once

What is Your OC Like?

solveig is my tes oblivion oc and she has just SO many problems. imagine being severely mentally ill in a medieval fantasy setting with no access to proper mental health care. one time someone tried to mug her but then realized she had nothing and they felt so bad for her and the whole state she was in the mugger was like 'ok you need help' and became her friend. shes blessed to have an orc wife who loves her no matter how many times she sprints off into the woods in the midst of a manic episode. what else? she has a horse named 'horse' because she couldnt come up with anything better. she wants to be a heroic knight but is far better at killing people than saving them. her solution to most of her problems is to lie face down on the floor motionless for a while (also the picture is done by my friend whose url is @symbie not by me, i hope thats alright, also i put that here cause i didnt know where else to)

Chester Wayne Mallory (He/Him) by @liliflower137

Why Should Your OC Win?

Now at first glance Chester seems like he's on top of things. A talented inventor and programmer, a successful streamer, a husband and kids.

But even at the best of times he's an anxiety ridden mess, and while he would never do anything behind his husband's back he's still not immune to swooning over a hothot man

He's terrible at making decisions, his memory is a mess, and his empty nest syndrome is so bad he basically stole a kid once. And on top of everything, his last name means "an unfortunate person"

Plus there was that time he got trapped in a video game while live on twitch and died like 3 times. So embarassing.

Why not give him a win? He could use the self confidence boost!

What is Your OC Like?

Chester Mallory is a kind very family oriented man who gets attacked to people quickly. He tends to show his love through offering food, so his friends often have fridges full of his leftover spicy noodles.

His entire extended family consists of serial adopters, so his family reunions consists of lots and lots of found families

He lost his right arm in a terrible accident but taught himself to build his own prosthetic purely because he thinks the industry around prosthetics is bullshit

His friends tend to get pretty chaotic which usually leads to him playing the straight man and having to go take a nap after, but he still loves them more than anything, and would do anything to protect them all, especially his best buddies Boris and Malcom.

If you'd like to read about him, his story is "Something New" in the Hlvrai tag of ao3! His AU is called eternal stream! (The picture of him was drawn by @year2000electronics)

[edith-is-a-cat]

who is/are your comfort character(s)? lighter or matches? do you leave the window open at night? which cryptyd being do you believe in? what color are your eyes? why did you do that? hair-ties or scrunchies? how many water bottles are in your room right now? which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? would you slaughter the rich? favorite extracurricular activity? what kind of day is it? when was the last time you ate? do you love the smell of earth after it rains? are you a parent? (all answers qualify) can you drive? are you farsighted or nearsighted? what hair products do you use? imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? do you say soda or pop? something you’ve kept since childhood? what type of person are you? how do you feel about chilly weather? if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? perfume/body spray or lotion? a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? about how many hours of sleep did you get? do you wear a mask? how do you like your shower water? is there dishes in your room? what type of music keeps you grounded? do you have a favorite towel? the last adventure you’ve been on? is there a song you know every word to by heart? what’s your timezone? how many times have you changed your url? someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? a soap bar that smells good? do you use lip balm? did you have any snacks today? how do you take your coffee? an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? what’s your take on spicy foods? you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? can you remember what happened yesterday? favorite holiday film? what was the last message you sent? when did you first try an alcohol beverage? can you skip rocks? can i tag you in random stuff?

laughs evilly

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Ive never really pinned down a meaning to comfort character for me i think the closest to the textbook definition would be idia and ortho?

lighter or matches?

Lighter.

ahem

Vivienne Westwood Orb Lighter Necklace.

i need it.

do you leave the window open at night?

Nope. in fact its very covered bc the light from it makes my room creepy

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

i believe all could exist nessy is mu favorite tho

what color are your eyes?

Gray/Green

why did you do that?

Do what?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

Srunchies, my hair does not want to free hair ties.

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

zero i do not take bottles to my room i only have my cup up here (which i never remember to fill)

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

Depends greatly on the flavor but i like iced due to the fact i can drink it immediately

would you slaughter the rich?

this is a very nuanced question due to to wills and stuff perhaps if i did have the immediate benefits of 1) another takes their place 2) their wealth is immediately pumped through the economy to benefit everyone slaughtering them probably wouldn't do much good when you think about the fine details… so it's kind of a shrug of the shoulders question at the moment

favorite extracurricular activity?

Art? uhm idrk/do any extracurriculars

what kind of day is it?

low-high had a drop in the morning and feel really good now

when was the last time you ate?

Just a bit ago i had fries i dipped and ceaser dressing and taco bell sauce mixed with ketchup

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

HER NAME IS PETRICHOR I LIVE HER

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

Yes i am the Guardian of three strayish cats

can you drive?

if i could i would be in Louisiana rn

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

i believe i will be nearsighted

what hair products do you use?

shampoo, conditioner, and hopes and dreams

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

good question how many colors do i have bc i have done some cool things

BTW THIS IS SO GENUINELY COOL BC I WAS 11-12 WHEN I DID THIS AND I WAS USING JUST THE NORMAL BRUSHES ON THE NAIL POLISH still proud

do you say soda or pop?

soda

something you’ve kept since childhood?

MY TEDDY BEAR I GOT AT BIRTH‼️‼️ TEDDY MY BABY ILY

what type of person are you?

Uh?? a persony person???

how do you feel about chilly weather?

love it im not being blasted by ac indoors

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

having a roof top picnic

perfume/body spray or lotion?

YES.

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

i think my birthday plans? im just really excited bc i had a propsal i liked

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

10? maybe i only half sleep when i wake up for the first time

do you wear a mask?

no, I would but people (BIO DAD) get very judey about them

how do you like your shower water?

just a bit warmer then comfortable

is there dishes in your room?

nope not allowed to have food in my room (ignore me getting snacks)

what type of music keeps you grounded?

grounded? maybe music that has bad memories tied to i try not to think of that and think of things around me? idrk what that means

do you have a favorite towel?

Yes i have a very thick big and plush towel i love it only thing i would change is the color (its just gray..)

the last adventure you’ve been on?

father's day gift for my bonus dad :3

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

I CANT HELP BUT MAKE A SCENE STEPPING OUT OFF MY HOT PINK LIMOUSINE IM TURING HEADS AND STOPPING TRAFFIC WHEN I POSE THEY SCREAM WHEN I JOKE THEY LAUGH IVE GOT A PAIR OF EYES TBAT THEY ARE GETTING LOST IN I HYPNOTIZE BY THE WAY IM WALKING

then cries bc i forgot the rest (i knew it by heart in middle school 😔)

okay probably heatwaves, life itself, pork soda, gooey, and black mambo by glass animals strawberry chainsaw by JAWNY monster from adventure time distant lands i believe? i could sing black sheep on karoke and do pretty well

wolf in sheeps clothing..

what’s your timezone?

CST/UTC−06:00

how many times have you changed your url?

Once, it used to be "edith-is-apparently-a-cat" didn't want others to find my tumblr so i threw a new word in there

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

no one?

a soap bar that smells good?

anything eucalyptus has me

do you use lip balm?

when i remember it

did you have any snacks today?

do the fries count

how do you take your coffee?

as much sugar as you can put in it

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

TikTok ig? i don't have a presence there like i do here tried twitter never really vibed

what’s your take on spicy foods?

God im a sheet of paper wish i could eat more bc some are so good just.... tolerance of a worm

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

I would have to do research before making that decision

can you remember what happened yesterday?

A bit? not everything exact i was just called into work early and made a bunch in tips

favorite holiday film?

The home alone movies 🙏🙏 yes i like them both I FUCKED UP THE ANSWER FOR DOVE SO YOU ARE ALSO GETTING IT

CHRISTMAS!!!!!! i love walking by the trees and decorations at night i love how cold it is i love the food i love the fact we are traveling around for family AAAAAA I WANNA GO TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!!!!! second to that is thanksgiving bc so many people come around and theres food and sometimes I get to see my friends (WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT WOULD BE SO COOL TO HAVE CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING WITH XEN)

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

My mom offered me a sip of her wine when i was little and i hissed back SMELLS BAD ME NO DRINK though the process of making it is really cool

can you skip rocks?

no :(

can i tag you in random stuff?

OFCCCCC

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 23 of Nona the Ninth

I have actually already read Chapter 24, because I got to the end of this one and was like "...what?", but they're both long chapters, so they get different posts

Right at the beginning of this chapter, we are back to referring to Ianthe with she/her pronouns, right after we were referring to her with he/him pronouns at the end of the last chapter. I'm not sure what we are meant to understand here in terms of what Nona's thoughts on Ianthe's gender are

So Ianthe also doubts that blindness would protect necromancers from the resurrection beast. Also, her referring to Naberius's body as "some old thing from last season" is hilarious

Wasn't it Pyrrha who told Ianthe that Harrow was around? Ianthe did ask We Suffer to send her Harrow before Corona ever mentioned her

Ianthe is just so mad that she did everything right and was the smartest girl who succeeded the best at the Canaan House trial and ascended to the highest position possible in this society for anyone who isn't John and she saved the Nine Houses from being destroyed by saving John from the Stoma, but I think she still feels like she's made less of an impact on the world/John's general temperament than Camilla did by stealing the Sixth House. And now she's stuck alone with John being cranky and Gideon, who probably also isn't a big fan of her, and she's been stuck in Babs' dead body for three days and it's just not fair

I mean, the last time Ianthe actually interacted with Harrow, Harrow didn't even remember who Gideon was. It's interesting that she's not even entertaining the possibility that that's still the case. Also, like, Ianthe showed Gideon's body on the broadcast, but she named her as "Kiriona Gaia" at that time and she's now under the impression that Harrow has been blind all this time. So I'm surprised that she doesn't also think that that gambit failed to work for that reason. There's really a very large number of reasons to be pretty confident that Harrow wouldn't be asking to see Gideon's body at this point

Interesting, so this method of FTL travel is limited based on mass, and more obelisks transport more mass. I'm not sure if the "compensation" referred to is compensating for needing more obelisks than could be safely used, or just a general compensation needed for transporting something so large, or what "compensation" means here. Did they have to sacrifice people for thanergy? Also, if they can go wherever using these obelisks, how are BOE keeping them captive?

Right, so that's the "break clause" courtesy the Lyctor who used to be a contract lawyer. But it doesn't sound like this was a contract she made with John, just something she set up within the Sixth House leadership

Also, I love finding like, the urls and blog titles and stuff of my Locked Tomb followers and other people I see in the tag in the book and going, oh, that's what that means, so shout out to @jods-duplicitous-sluts for this one

I mean, this sort of raises the question of how Ianthe was planning on bringing Corona and Pyrrha and the Sixth House back to John? They're not Lyctors, and therefore can't survive physically going through the River

So the absence of live soldiers is because of Pyrrha

Who does she think is in Harrow's body here? Originally I figured she thought it was Gideon, but she's got Gideon in the back, and I think these two chapters establish pretty well that Gideon is in fact still moving around and generally being Gideon. Does she think Gideon has somehow left her body and is now possessing Harrow for some reason? I think she would have expected Gideon to talk back to her, too, though, wouldn't she? Ianthe doesn't have any knowledge about how Harrow opened the Tomb and was being haunted by Alecto

I'm not sure what happened here beyond that Nona is probably Alecto and did something resurrection-beast-adjacent, and maybe Judith screaming was also resurrection-beast-related since her issues are caused by the resurrection beast? Also, it seems to have done something to the electricity, which reminds me of how the lights dimmed when Mayonnaise Uncle did his soul-summoning thing, but I don't think necromancy has ever been described as having an effect on electricity outside of those two events

I wonder if these instances of water coming out of Nona's orifices are symptoms of her impending death, or what

Does John actually have multiple Hands, plural, at this point? I think at last count it was just Ianthe, right?

I love that there's all this high-stakes drama going down and Corona is threatening to kill herself to get Ianthe duel Camilla, and this is the thing she's being dying to say to her this whole time, that Ianthe is disrespecting Babs' body by not styling his hair correctly

So Corona at least threatened to commit suicide multiple times as a teenager. It makes sense, she was under a lot of pressure to be something she wasn't. She does genuinely like Ianthe and is glad that Palamedes didn't kill her, but I imagine it was different from her side where she knew that her survival in her social context probably depended on Ianthe being with her and supporting her her whole life. Maybe that's part of why she became so good at being likeable

What does "none of us ever could" mean here? It's not like they have a long association with Camilla

Camilla's completely deadpan sass is off the charts. I hope she winds up keeping it

Is she giving verbal orders to a bunch of dead bodies that she's directly controlling using necromancy?

Hot Sauce is a cut the Gordian Knot kind of gal

Apparently:

So it's another joke. Also, something something Saint of Awe probably goes here, but I'm not clever enough for this right now

She never fought Babs, or witnessed Babs fighting anyone - she must be referring to Ianthe fighting Colum and Cytherea at the end of Gideon the Ninth, when she was having a lot of trouble fully integrating Babs. So yeah, there's multiple reasons why she would be much better now

[stillwinterair]

Howdy kids

My name is Dee! It's not the name I went by for most of my years on Tumblr, but it's the one everyone knows me as. You might remember my url as nyriad, visovari... I went by a bunch of others too, but those are the only two I seem to remember now 😅

The last time I was on Tumblr, I was in the middle of a very difficult period of my life that I didn't really have the tools or support to navigate. But sometimes you gotta go a lil wacky and make some fresh new regrets so you can grow up a lil bit wiser and sexier

I quit the internet pretty much cold turkey for a while and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I spent a year pretty much focusing on nothing but my immediate surroundings, living in my own skin, learning how to love myself. I've gotten a lot more comfortable being myself, and have grown a lot more connected to the earth.

In my time away, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which even just the diagnosis has significantly improved almost every facet of my life. I've gotten so many new tools and so much new language to express myself and my needs. I've stopped feeling like there is something wrong with me and let go of a lot of shame that I held around myself, my work flow, my ability to focus, my needs for rest, etc. As I've met more people with ADHD, I've grown a lot more empowered and confident. I'm still figuring out what medication works for me (Adderall and Concerta are hell incarnate; Ritalin and Vyvanse are the bee's knees). It's been revolutionary and healing, honestly. Reading the book "Driven to Distraction" was an important first step that I recommend to everyone who's ever thought they might have ADHD, or if you were like me, always felt stupid and slow and always wondered why you never could quite get around to doing all the things you want to do.

I am also currently pursuing a diagnosis for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, as per my doctor's suggestion. I won't get into it too much here, but it is a chronic illness that has made the last year pretty difficult. I have a lot of severe chronic joint pain and lethargy, and it's been... a lot. I'm starting physical therapy soon. This part isn't fun to talk about, but it's becoming an important part of my identity.

I've also met the love of my life, my soon-to-be fiancee, Nathalie! We were inseparable pretty much from the day we met, and spent a year as best friends. And then after that year the sexual tension became too much to handle, and now another year later, here we are, stupidly in love, utterly obsessed with each other, turning every single day into a fun, wacky, new adventure lmao. We've built the most beautiful, trusting, communicative, intimate relationship I've ever experienced and I am so filled with pride and joy and love and happiness every day. We're still best friends -- no force on this earth could ever get us to shut up when we're in the same room. She just fills me with butterflies and glee and light. Nat has this burning desire to create in whatever the most tactile medium she can find is. She loves mechanisms and fibers and all of the ways different materials interact with each other. She inspires me every day to be more open and honest and to pursue whatever creative venture has caught my interest, and I do the same for her. We dance together, create together, and share big emotions and life goals and it's just the most beautiful thing I've ever felt, and this paragraph could go on forever if I don't end it right now

I've also finally started to settle into my writing flow. I've got a space opera that's really beginning to take shape and I'm pretty proud of what it's turning into :) I also have a fantasy saga that's following a few steps behind. Both are things I've been working on for nearly a decade in fits and spurts, but I've done more work on them in the last year than in all previous years combined. I've gotten into more artistic mediums as well: oil painting, photography, beading, and so on. And very into fashion, kind of. Y'all should see my wardrobe these days -- bright colors, crazy patterns, wacky silhouettes. I feel like I finally look like myself. I'm currently rocking a purple mullet and a mustache, so... yeah, I'm having fun with it

I'm not sure how many of my old friends and mutuals are still hanging around, but I wanted to say hey, track a few of you down, and give a little update on how things are going for me post-Tumblr. I am alive, and I'm pretty happy these days. Some days I miss it here, and while I'll never come back in the same capacity as I used to, I wanted to reconnect with some of my old friends that I used to talk to and hang around with every day! I'm gonna poke around over the next while and see who's still around :) honestly I still think about some of y'all on the daily, and I got too curious about how my old friends were doing.

If you want to keep in touch, I'm on Instagram as deehollandaise. I'm on Discord much less often, but if you want to connect there, shoot me a message and I'll share the deets. Warning that I am just straight up not involved in any fandom stuff these days. It's just not for me anymore.

I will be retiring this blog in the new year, setting the whole dang thing to private and probably starting a new one with which to share some of my creative projects. I'll let y'all know about it before that happens.

I don't know, this is all kinda word vomit, I guess I just wanted to let all my old friends know that I'm still here and that I'm finally figuring myself out. I've got a lot to be proud of and grateful for and I've barely scratched the surface, so I'll leave off with some recent photos. Have a hot & sweaty 2024, you sexy things 😘

- Dee

[greghatecrimes]

for the ask game: 1, 3, 31, and 49 (49 specifically about Thirteen)!

Eee thank you for asking! <3 I know you said only 49 was specifically for Thirteen, but if you don't mind I'm going to answer all of them for Thirteen since she is the blorbo ever for me xD This got long, so answers are after the read more!

Canon I outright reject. Oooh, this one was hard because I actually love most of the canon details the writers gave us about her. The only thing I personally reject is her having a sister. They never verbally mentioned her sister (unlike her brother), so I just go about that as if her brother is her only sibling and a sister never existed. Either that, or her brother IS her "sister" and just transitioned sometime during their childhood.

3. Obscure headcanon - I got lots of asks about #3 for Thirteen! Instead of repeating the same thing, I'll link my answer for it here.

31. If they had a tumblr, what would it look like? I love thinking about this as;ldfjalsf. If Thirteen had a tumblr, I think it would totally be super nerdy and completely dedicated to fandoms she's in (like Buffy if this is Thirteen as a teenager, or something like Star Trek, Final Fantasy (I can see her liking XIII but I haven't played through the whole thing myself yet, so we'll see if that holds).[EDIT to add: oh my fucking god, I pronounce the final fantasy numerals as vee-eye-eye, ex-eye-eye-eye, etc. so I didn't realize until hours later that I said Thirteen. Would probably like Final Fantasy *13*. That was unintentional I swear 😂😭] She'd have it set up beautifully with a custom theme, a banner and icon she made herself, and an intricate tagging system that makes finding anything on her blog an absolute breeze. Her url would have absolutely no connection to anything that someone IRL could identify her with and she'd go by a pseudonym (I can also see her just going by "R"-- her first initial). It would be her escape from any and all stress in her "real life" and a place where she could relax and nerd out without worrying about keeping up an image, or about what other people would think. Even Foreman wouldn't know about it while they're dating. It would be an absolute and total secret from everyone in her life, and that's how she'd like it. I think the only person she would've considered making an exception for would have been Kutner, if he had lived long enough for them to get closer.

49. Favorite toy as a child. I originally thought of this when planning out stuff for my fic, In the Dirt, but it works for canon, too. A very well loved stuffed bunny that was given to her by her older brother when she was little. At the start of ITD, she keeps it tucked away in a duffel bag that holds the last remnants of her childhood and teenage years. But I like to think that at some point after moving in with House, she gets comfortable enough to let the bunny sit on her bedside table. For her, it's a positive reminder of her brother and how close they were when they were younger (in no small part due to their dad being so pre-occupied with their mom's Huntington's). It definitely has a name, but I'm not sure what it is. I've always pictured it looking sort of like this:

[holy--milk]

tagged by @thatswhatsushesaid (thanks! <3)

1. why did you choose your url?

it was ages ago, i honestly don't remember at this point... i just think it's neat?

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

none that you could connect to me.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

definitely since high school, possibly since middle school? it was still kinda popular back then.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don't do queues, i reblog 100 posts at once then disappear for a week.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

this particular one? to get all nice and cozy with the MXTX fandom, of course.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i found a collection of reaction pics in a ZZJ fan group and was like "haha this one's funny". don't ask me to explain it tho.

7. why did you choose your header?

see above.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

this one. i still think it's kinda funny.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

at least two.

10. how many followers do you have?

at least two.

11. how many people do you follow?

definitely more than two.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

all my posts are shitpost.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

whenever i get bored at my office job (not to be confused with my other work-from-home job), which is. a lot.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

why would i? my fandoms are famously chill and peaceful.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

i don't get those on my dash.

16. do you like tag games?

yes 👉👈

17. do you like ask games?

yep 👉👈

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

every single one of them.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i wish, but alas. it's physically impossible for me to get crushes.

20. what is the last song you listened to?

no regrets by oblivion dust, which is coincidentally THE shen jiu song to me <3

21. what are you currently watching?

"sell your haunted house" (daebakbudongsan), a korean drama about an exorcist/real estate broker who does exorcism on haunted houses and then sells them for a commission. as one does.

idk, i was sitting down to relax with a bottle of beer and some ribs and it popped up in the list of shows i've bookmarked? and i was like, why not.

22. sweet/savoury/spicy?

sweet and spicy. or as i call it. swicy.

23. what is your current relationship status?

there's a girl i've been trying to go on an irl date with for. like two months now. don't get me wrong, she wants to go on a date with me too, it's just that we're both working women who can barely find the time to meet up in our schedules. and when we do, something goes wrong :(

24. what is your current obsession?

qijiu. but JGY and his two men will forever have their place in my silly little heart <3

25. what are nine albums/songs you've been listening to lately?

i use like. 4 separate apps to listen to music, and that's just on my phone. and none of them track my listening history lmao. but i can try and pull nine random things (in no particular order) from my likes:

electra heart (the album) by marina (and the diamonds). what can i say? it slaps.

黑白#K (the album) by liu haikuan. but tbh i haven't really been following him for a while. i think he's had a few singles since then? idk.

les filles désir by vendredi sur mer. wait i should actually listen to her more often. she has some absolute bangers.

opera (and some other songs) by super junior. i'm revisiting my k-pop phase, okay???

фейерверк by электрофрез. because of that one TGCF animatic.

turbulence (the album) by monoral. idk, a lot of their songs actually fit qijiu rather well? which is my main criterion when choosing music to listen to anyway.

eyes closed by the narrative. you guys, this song has been through at least three different ships from three different fandoms at this point.

the CQL soundtrack. what can i say? [1] for all that CQL is a bit messy and has funny CGI, at least it has a splendind soundtrack.

the LOTR soundtrack. i mean. do i even have to say anything? that's a classic.

tagging: @crithir @miaoqing @jin-zixun and whoever wants to participate.

[swede1952]

Last Bird Photographed

I haven't taken a photo in a couple of days. This morning, I was looking for something to post in my recent photograph library. I finally decided jus to use the last bird photograph taken by me. This one is a female house finch (Haemorhous mexicanus), there is plenty of detail, especially around her head, which was obviously the focus point. I'm not completely happy with this image, when you look close there is some noise that probably could be removed. I think if I narrowed the aperture just a little, I might have gotten the more textured detail around the body. Hmmm … I need to keep that in mind.

Visit my gallery, I generally add new content every couple of days or so. The URL is below: