#i could do it after i graduate in a few weeks. since i'm entering a new stage in my life i could use a new name too
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Been thinking abt changing my username everywhere for a while now but my brain doesn't like the idea of changing it for no reason and now I'm stuck in a loop of do it no don't do it and I really don't like always being this indecisive tbh
#ramblings#i was thinking of something with the word livewire in it#bc my sonas are all robots that can manipulate electricity#something like lovelylivewirez or something like that#idk i just don't think galaxypop fits anymore#tbh i kinda just stuck two random words together when i came up with that username lmao#and ig i was really into galaxy aesthetics at the time idk#but now i want something different#but i don't. but i do actually. but i don't#hate being so indecisive </3#wish i could just confidently make decisions like normal ppl do#sigh#i could do it after i graduate in a few weeks. since i'm entering a new stage in my life i could use a new name too#it also gives me the chance to wrap up a couple things i have still in progress before the change#bc i think that's why i don't wanna do it yet i still have a couple art wips i need to finish#and also i don't feel like designing a new watermark for my art rn lol#we'll see if it actually ends up happening in a few weeks
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On-the-Job Training (A Store Manager Verse Story - Steve Harrington/Reader)
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader
Summary: Steve has a crush on the Dippin' Dots cashier.
Warnings/Themes: AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins. Late Summer of 1985, Steve and Robin work at Scoops, Reader works at Dippin' Dots, Mutual Pining, Flirting, Enemies to Lovers(sort of?), Tie in with the Store Manager Verse
Note: Ok what started off as a silly little conversation about what flavor chapstick each ST character would use turned into this and I typically don't write Steve...but I had to give him some love.
Tagging my loves who were integral to that convo to thank them for inspiration especially Drac who started it all. This is for you bb. @dr-aculaaa @mopeymopeymouse @chestylarouxx @somnambulic-thing @fracturedarkness @br0ck-eddie
Technically slightly anachronistic because Dippin' Dots didn't open until 1988 but I'm a stickler for accuracy in the regular series. This is just a fun little do-dad.
You can find my masterlist here for more fics featuring pretty much exclusively Eddie Munson content but also a little Steve.
Please do not interact if you are not 18+.
Largely unedited; I didn't even re-read it. It's might suck. Enjoy!
---
"Ahoy! One U.S.S. Butterscotch!"
Steve never thought that this would be his future after graduation.
This summer he should have been living it up before he went away to college and made something of himself. Lifeguarding at the pool, going to all the parties, hanging out with his friends.
Instead, his life went to shit, Nancy Wheeler had broken up with him, he had gotten rejection letter after rejection letter from the schools he had applied to...and instead of working at the pool like he had every summer since he turned 16, he had a crappy job slinging ice cream at Scoops Ahoy of all places at the new StarCourt Mall.
"Thanks so much," the sweet lady who had placed the order smiled at him and handed the sundae to her son. "Look at that Frankie, your favorite." The little boy shot Steve a grin complete with his two front teeth missing and Steve melted a little bit.
Alright, it wasn't so bad. He got to make people smile, he got some spending money--which was nice since his dad had pretty much cut him off, although his mom was sneaking him some cash on the side.
"Look alive dingus," Robin called from the window separating the front of the ice cream parlor from the backroom. "Your schmoopsie poo is here."
"Shut up Rob!" Steve groaned through gritted teeth.
One of the perks of working at the mall was that he got to interact with people of all shapes and sizes and yeah...Steve had tried to use it as a means to get over Nancy. He'd had little hours-long crushes on fellow mall employees, customers, Robin--although working with her made that difficult--hell there was even a manager that had caught his eye towards the beginning of summer except he'd seen Eddie "The Freak" Munson of all people hanging around her.
Although after a few months of seeing Eddie around StarCourt not being a wastoid menace, Steve had to admit...well he wasn't that bad either.
The one who'd caught his eye the most though was you, and yeah...he'd developed an actual big little long-lasting crush.
You, who came around for a root-beer float most afternoons.
You, whose smile made his heart skip a little.
You in your pink polo, teal apron, and white visor with the words Dippin' Dots emblazoned on the front.
The enemy.
And you never let him forget it either.
Steve had been heart eyes over you the first time you had entered into Scoops territory to order your float. Undercover in casual summer clothes a week after the mall had opened. There was just something about you, your smile, your laugh.
Robin teased that he said that about everyone; Steve ignored her.
Then you opened your mouth and said the float was good but the service could have been better. That Steve should stop by Dippin' Dots sometime and see how it was really done.
Shots fired.
It really hurt at first. This was his first real job outside of the community pool, one he had been excited to get. He was really nice, tried his best; why didn't you think so?
"It's called flirting," Robin insisted. "God, you really suck, you know that? How can you ask people out willy nilly and then miss someone flirting with you right in front of your face? Flirt back next time."
So he did.
Every so often he'd mosey across the mall to your kiosk, order a small vanilla cup, and throw a little insult of his own your way. Usually something about how tiny balls of ice cream could never beat an actual scoop. Or about how you didn't count his change the right way, or that your visor was on crooked.
You wouldn't hesitate to get your own comment in. Especially about his choice in flavor.
"You work at an ice cream parlor and you order vanilla?" you questioned. "A hundred flavors to choose from at scoops; do you only get vanilla there too? Vanilla...is good but when you have variety? Order something exciting one day, and then we can talk business, Stevie."
Oof, it steamed him.
But not enough to stop playing the game.
And it left you both grinning so who was he to end the fun.
So when you showed up at Scoops today after not being around for a few days and your smile didn't reach your eyes like it usually did...Steve was suddenly overcome with...well he didn't really know.
"Ahoy, uh, sailor," he greeted and tried to put on his biggest award-winning, tip-earning smile.
"Ahoy," you replied weakly.
"Root beer float?" he asked, already heading over to the case to start scooping ice cream into a cup.
"Uh," you hesitated. "No, just...just a small vanilla cup today."
Steve froze and looked at you. Your shoulders were slumped, you had your visor in your hand, and you were pointedly avoiding eye contact with him.
What was...what was wrong with you?
Where was your fight? Where was your fire? Why, all of a sudden, was your game over?
"Hey, uhm," he coughed awkwardly. "Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, Steve," you nodded absently.
"You always get root beer."
"I just want vanilla today."
"The special is salted caramel? I can give you a sample if you're--"
"No, I just want vanilla," you cut him off and rolled your eyes. "You always get vanilla. Why is it a problem if I suddenly do? Vanilla is good too. Maybe vanilla is just...what we both want ok? Nothing else."
He was shocked. That wasn't playful annoyance in your voice; you were just...annoyed.
"Sure," he agreed. "Sure. One small vanilla coming right up."
He got your ice cream and rang you out, and as you were about to leave, he called after you.
"See you in a little while?" he asked.
"If you want." You waved goodbye and headed out of the ice cream parlor.
Steve turned and looked at Robin who simply rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"What just happened?" he asked.
"You're hopeless," she sighed and slammed the shutters on the window closed.
---
Steve roamed around the mall on his break.
Typically, he'd make his way to Dippin' Dots but...that just seemed like a waste of time today.
He'd fixated on your visit for the rest of his shift until his break, analyzing everything he said, everything he did. Everything that could have made you mad at him.
Once he got Robin out of her hiding spot in the back room, he monologued all of his thoughts to her.
She watched him pace back and forth, called him a dingus a few times, a loser a few other times, and then finally sent him on his break with some last words.
"I know you're hearing everything they're saying Steve," she began. "But are you really listening? You just keep...ordering vanilla."
"Uh. Yeah. That's the game."
"It's not a game you...ughhhhh! GO!" She pointed to the exit. "Before I throttle you."
Why couldn't she just tell him? What had he done?
In his rumination, he'd been chewing at his lips. A habit he had pretty much done his entire life when he got nervous.
Shit, and he'd left his chapstick in the car; it was hot, it probably melted by now.
That was one of the little ways you made his life a little better...through your teasing. You had told him, once, that his lips looked dry.
"Maybe invest in some chapstick or something."
He'd gone to Melvald's that same night that you told him and got a 3-pack of strawberry chapstick. All the while wondering if it meant you had been looking at his lips for a while or...
But it was...just another little jab right? Another little flirt? Another part of your game?
Still, he never knew when you might show up so the chapstick became a constant--something that soothed him even, gave him courage--and he always had a tube tucked into the pocket of his shorts, or on the register, or in the cupholder of his car. To swipe on if he knew he was about to see you...or hoped he was.
And now...he desperately needed it, needed his strawberry chapstick--needed you--and it was nowhere to be found.
Steve stopped in his tracks and looked at the stores around him.
WaldenBooks, Regis Salon, JH Camera Repair.
Claires.
Bingo.
He'd seen little kids with their play makeup and sparkly plastic jewelry post up in one of the booths at Scoops after they spent their allowance money at Claire's. He had to find strawberry chapstick there. He'd even take cherry. Something.
Anything.
Steve crossed into the pink-and-purple-and-pop-music-filled oasis to a melodic "Welcome In" from the employee helping a little girl by the ear piercing booth. And as out of place as he felt, he was immediately relieved to see a wall full of eyeshadow palettes and glitter hairspray.
He closed the distance and frantically searched the wall, but it was all novelty makeup. There was one package of Dr. Pepper lip smackers, but the package was half-ripped and the cap was missing; he was a little worried but he figured it was better than nothing.
He was about to snatch it off the hook when that voice sounded behind him.
"Did you need help finding anything?" He immediately turned on his heel to find the employee--the manager, Eddie Munson's girlfriend--standing there in a flourish of tulle and fluorescent colors. "Oh! That's a customer favorite...looks like it's damaged though, let me just..."
She reached out to take the package but Steve reacted instinctually. He quickly grabbed it and clutched it to his chest.
"I don't mind," he tried to reason. "I don't care if it's missing the cap."
"Listen, I can't sell it to you if it's damaged," the manager explained. "It's just not safe. Is there anything else I can help you find though?"
She reached for the package again but he held it back.
"I need this," Steve tried again.
"Oh...kay."
"Because I messed up and this...you know the cashier down at the Dippin' Dots kiosk? Well...I don't know...I pissed them off or something and I just need to...go down and talk to them and I can't."
"So the lip balm is a gift for them? To make amends?"
"No...it's for me because my lips are dry." Steve sighed. "I...ok I know it sounds crazy, but I swear. It's...they got me to start using chapstick because they said my lips were dry and it's this thing we do. We go back and forth and we tease each other.
"But they're mad at me now, and they didn't...I mean they ordered vanilla. They never order vanilla. They hate it when I order vanilla."
"Uh huh." The manager's eyes went a little soft. "I'm not...really following the logic...but I get it."
"You do?"
"You like each other. But you're just...going back and forth. And no one has really...admitted it," she observed. She suddenly burst into laughter and Steve cocked his head to one side in confusion. "Sorry, sorry...it's just...whatafuckincoincidence.
"So are you the one who's afraid of being rejected? Or...are they...or..."
Cue the record scratch in Steve's head.
Rejection.
All summer...all year actually...Steve had been faced with one rejection after another. First Nancy, then all of the college applications, his dad and now...all of the little fleeting mall crushes that he'd asked out that had said no.
Robin had even made a scoreboard that sat in the back whenever someone turned him down.
He thought all this time...he'd become immune to it. But with you...it was easier to think it was just a game than to possibly face the reality that if he asked you out...you'd say no and then the little game would be ruined. And his hopes would be dashed.
He didn't realize that all of his waffling could potentially be hurting you too.
"Why don't you," the manager continued when Steve hesitated to answer, "go down there and talk to them? Even if they're mad at you. Communication is very important. I'm sure if you explain everything, or even...just show that you're willing to bridge the gap, they'd be willing to listen. The worst they could say is no, but if they're already mad, you have nothing to lose. See if they'll give you a chance."
"So I...shouldn't order vanilla this time?" He looked up at her and asked, recalling your words.
Order something exciting, and then we can talk business.
The door had been open for him to ask you out this whole time.
And that's why you ordered vanilla earlier. Because Vanilla meant...meant that this...flirtation...this game...wasn't going anywhere. He hadn't made a move, so you didn't want to wait anymore.
God, he was so stupid.
"Uh, no...don't do that," the manager smiled kindly. She reached out for the broken lip balm and took it from him. "I'll just...damage this out."
"Wait...but my lips are still dry," Steve floundered. "I still need chapstick."
"Do you think there's gonna be some kissing happening?" the manager's eyes narrowed. "I said talk to them, not...plant one on them."
"I just need...something," he begged. "Strawberry...if you have it."
"I think we have strawberry flavored lip gloss by the register."
"I'll take it."
---
So there Steve was, in the concourse by JCPenney, patiently waiting in the line for Dippin' Dots with sticky, strawberry-flavored lips tinted a very nice shade of pink.
As soon as he had swiped the gloss on...as silly as he had felt...he had been reminded of you.
"Next!" your voice sounded every so often and the line got shorter and shorter, and Steve's courage got weaker and weaker. The Claire's manager had been right though...communication...the worst you could tell Steve was "no."
"Next!" You'd be just another tally on Robin's scoreboard. And she could call him a dingus again. She really enjoyed doing that. So some good would at least come from his failure.
"Next!" He'd also get...a cup of Dippin' Dots which...if he had to admit, he kinda enjoyed. He got all the Scoops ice cream he wanted for free but this was different. Ice Cream of the Future and all that. He sort of expected Henderson to come up with something like this, the little nerd; well, if he could never show his face here again, he'd ask the kids if they could figure out how to make some kind of futuristic ice cream for him.
"Ne--oh!" Steve finally got to the front of the line and saw your shocked face. He smiled and waved as he approached the register.
"Hey," he greeted. "I told you I'd see you around."
"You did," you said flatly and scrunched your nose. "So...the usual? Small vanilla cup?"
"Uh no..." Steve said hesitantly. You raised an eyebrow in question. "I uh...can I get a large..."
"Large vanilla?" You sniffed.
"Large Rainbow Ice," he recited after squinting at the menu board. "It's time for something new."
You stared at him silently and Steve couldn't help but doubt himself.
What if Rainbow Ice was the wrong answer? Should he have gone with Banana Split? Shit he should have just stuck with Strawberry. It was his favorite. Strawberry chapstick, strawberry gloss, strawberry ice cream. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"Yeah," you finally answered with a beaming smile and Steve's heart soared. "Yeah it is time for something new, isn't it?"
Next Part: Incremental Planning
#stranger things fic#Steve harrington x reader#Steve harrington fic#store manager verse#Steve harrington fluff#scoops steve
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ƈɧąʂıŋɠąŋɠɛƖʂ.ƈơɱ ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
Summary: where lonely hearts can congregate & explore new, exciting taboos! what do you get when you pair a lonely divorcée with an equally lonely girl? find out here, at chasingangels.com! Note: I saw a janitor AI bot that was like a dating app and was inspired to write this, I also just wanted to write about the issues of finding a good match as a trans girl! y'know, since a lot of us tend to fuck w DL men 💀 reader is also kinda Gyaru-coded in terms of appearance but she's not fully immersed in Gyaru culture. Warnings: website is implied to be for chasers (men who go after trans women specifically), protected sex, rough sex, kinda angst + comfort Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x mtf!reader WC: 14.5k words... yeah I'm not proofreading this ☠️ if it has bad grammar or cringy dialogue anywhere my apologies!!! this fic took me like 5 days so I'm glad to be done w it
╰┈➤ "And... still nobody worth it," you sighed, clicking off from the website that you'd spent weeks surfing through. You put your laptop back in your Hello Kitty computer sleeve, put it in your purse, and went on your way.
The website you'd decided to put your love life line on the line for, chasingangels.com, was proving to be a hopeless endeavor. Every single day, the thought about abandoning that stupid, niche website and going back to your past days of Grindr seemed more enticing the longer you spent your time alone. The website that promised trans girls like you with a promising love life was turning out to be a gimmick, probably made to steal your data so that it could be sold to some third party buyer. It's not like it mattered to you--you didn't have nuclear codes saved on your device--but it was just so tiring.
All of it was so tiring.
All your life, you'd been quite lonely, a fact that your headstrong nature refused to admit. You grew up with everything a girl like you could've possibly hoped for: you had a loving family who accepted you for your transgender identity, plenty of friends who also accepted you, and all the money needed to buy you your expensive makeup & hormones that you'd need to become the woman you always wanted to be. Truth be told, you were quite blessed in every facet of life--you were beautiful enough before starting the hormones to pass for a cisgender woman!
But, sadly, the only facet you lacked in was love.
A curse was bestowed upon you at birth: the curse of a male body, and that same curse was the reason you never had any prospects.
The moment you told a guy about your condition, he'd run away without a second thought. Either they blocked you or did a 180 and asked you if they could play with your... male genitalia.
The few who chose to stay only ever did so by texting you after 11 PM, and the most they did was ask you for sexual favors instead. Not once did a guy hold you while wept; not once did a guy want to bring you home to mama; not once did a guy talk to you for more than a month. And what was most humiliating was you'd only ever talked to three guys--a low, single-digit number!
By the time you graduated college and entered the workforce, nothing changed, absolutely nothing. If anything, your prospects shrank, and you weren't even talking to a single guy over the phone. You were hopeless, utterly hopeless in the romantic department.
"Don't worry about it, you're too good for any man's attention!"
Said the girl with a loving boyfriend of a year.
"You already have a high paying job and a pretty face to boot, what more could you possibly want?"
Maybe the touch of a loving partner?
You were hopeless. Hopeless enough to put your trust in some shady website that one of your friends told you about, which led you to the website known as chasingangels.com. You were beginning to believe that this was all some elaborate emotional ponzi scheme, set up by people who took pleasure in breaking trans girls' hearts.
"Is it my profile?" you thought to yourself on the train. You were currently on the train to Omotesando, meeting up with said girlfriend who recommended you the site. You went under the guise of trying out a new restaurant, but in actuality you were gonna chew her out for getting your hopes up, get a beverage on the way home, and then watch some Shōjo before going to bed.
And all in a day's time... truth be told, these were what your days consisted of outside of work: drinks, meetups, and romance anime. Though most people would've looked down upon you for living such a monotonous life, you found solace in it.
There wasn't much a girl like you could do except spend her hard-earned money on snacks & clothes. Perhaps you'd get lucky and stop by a Hello Kitty store along the way? Maybe you could even adopt another cat just to be less lonely.
The loud ding! of a notification in your airpods made you jerk up in surprise, and you immediately grabbed your phone. Most apps weren't important enough to have a sound notification on, so you wondered what it could possibly be.
Wait, why were you so surprised? It was probably just an SMS message from your friend. You calmed yourself down, unlocked your phone, and swiped through your notifications until you saw it.
That godforsaken website--you made a mental note to delete it later.
👼 chasingangels.com
ミ☆ You have 1 New Message!
Tojifushiguro1: Hey there, saw your profile and thought you looked cute. Wanna get a drink & get to know each other better?
A guy who used punctuation and capitalization? He must've been old, definitely not your-
You let out an audible gasp on the train when you clicked on his profile, and you also had to turn down the brightness on your phone as well, because the profile that you just tapped on?
The profile was enough for you to make your cross your legs together.
This guy--Toji Fushiguro--was a fucking wet dream.
With shaky hands and a pounding heart, you sifted through the seven photos that he'd put up on his profile. They were all a bit shitty with bad lighting or they were taken by other people, but goddamn was that a man!
For starters, his face must've been crafted by Narcissus himself. A strong bone structure, green eyes that pierced into an onlooker's soul, and that delicious scar on his lip that only added to his appeal. He had some wrinkles underneath his eyes, no doubt indicating that he was a bit older than you.
The next photo almost made you choke on your own spit in the train. It was a full body shot of him standing up with a guy (whose face he made sure to blur out), and by god was he the definition of an adonis even with clothes on. Just by standing still w/ a straight face without doing anything extra, you could make out some broad shoulders, arms that were probably bigger than your head, traps that tapered into a thin, toned waist, and a thick, muscular chest that you just wanted to lay your head on!
When you got to the shirtless photos you had to put your phone away for a good second before looking at the rest of his profile. His body was a marble statue straight out of the Roman Empire, complete with shredded abs, intense vasculature, and everything else that a girl could want in a man's body.
You knew that where you lived, the ideal male standard was more feminine than masculine, therefore you knew that finding a man like him was like finding a tiny shard of a diamond deep inside of a coal mine. Coincidentally, he was also exactly your type, so every atom in your body screamed at you to get on it and reply!
But you were rational; you didn't think with your pussy. You looked at all the photos in detail to get a better idea of what he was like, and you also examined his bio for any red flags. So far, the only ones that stuck out to you were his single father status & the fact that he was on a dating site designed for connecting men with trans women--the name literally had the verb "chase" in it!
°•. ★ .•° Tojifushiguro1's FAQ:
Age: 35
Sexuality: straight
Marital status: divorced w/ 1 kid
Likes: UFC fights, fishing, 90s rock, a good beer
Looking for: a girl who knows how to have fun & also get serious, someone mature.
Yeah, he totally fit the image he portrayed. He might've only been 35 but he typed like a boomer with the lack of description in his bio & the message that was chalked full of grammar and proper spelling. The images he'd included in his profile were also so very different from the design and aesthetic of this website, it almost made you laugh.
This man could also be catfishing you, so you made sure to do a quick reverse search...
... and nothing. Wow, so this guy really existed, and he also really wanted you.
Wait a damn minute. He, an adonis, with probably more prospects than a computer science student's job offers, wanted you: a girl who couldn't get dick to save her life?!
What kind of an idiot were you--get on with it already!!
With shaky fingers, you opened his message and looked at it over & over again. If you didn't reply, then you'd be safe, but you'd also potentially miss out on something exciting; however, if you did reply, then the trajectory of your life could possibly change forever.
With even shakier fingers, you typed out a response to his dm:
automaticprincess7: Hi! I'm so glad you clicked on my profile out of all the others--I would love to meet up with you somewhere! Although, I gotta warn you: I don't drink much... maybe a coffee shop would be nicer?
tojifushiguro1 is typing...
Oh god, he was already typing that out?! He did send the initial message two minutes ago...
tojifushiguro1: I'll go anywhere if it means I get to see that pretty face in person ;)
Just in the second message alone, he was laying on the charm, you could see that much. He didn't seem like the type of guy to hold out on what he wanted or beat around the bush--just your type. You hated guys your age for playing games and stringing you along for no reason, so you welcomed the change of pace.
automaticprincess7: Fushiguro!! Ur already making me blush while I'm on the train... >///<
tojifushiguro1: I can't wait to make you blush even harder in person, doll. Why don't we meet up tomorrow? I ain't got work, so I'm free all day long.
Tomorrow--he wanted to meet with you tomorrow?! But... but that was so quick, you haven't had enough time to even mentally prepare yourself for this hunk of a man!! Then again, what difference does it make if all you're looking for is a guy who'll give you some attention & pipe? Still, you had to play coy--you can't be so forward just yet.
automaticprincess7: but that's so early...
tojifushiguro1: why, you got work tomorrow?
automaticprincess7: no, I'm also free; honestly, truth be told, I've never met up with anyone online like this, especially not from this website.
tojifushiguro1: really? I'd imagined a girl as gorgeous as you would've had plenty of men lining up to take her out for dinner--I was just hoping to be next in line haha.
automaticprincess7: well, not exactly...!
tojifushiguro1: so this means I'll be the one to pop your internet cherry, huh? Well then, ain't I a lucky guy?"
automaticprincess7: ewww, don't call it that!!
tojifushiguro1: I'm just messin' with ya, doll. Anyway, does tomorrow work? I'll need to find a babysitter for the kid soon, so I need a yes or no.
Right, he was a single father... still, he was just so enigmatic, so attractive, you'd be a fool to let it go to waste over him having a child.
automaticprincess7: yeah, tomorrow's fine. I guess I was just nervous ( ๑´⌓ `๑ )
tojifushiguro1: it's no biggie, cutie. Since it's your first time meeting with a stranger online, I can imagine you'd be scared. So, let's say 6? And what place works best for you? We can even grab dinner after if you're up for it.
automaticprincess7: there's this one coffee place I like in Harajuku. It's secluded enough for this kinda stuff, and it's close enough to any activities that might be fun: (insert coffee shop name).
tojifushiguro1: overpriced coffee with an angel like you? Heh, sign me up!
automaticprincess7: hey, don't insult them, they have my fav drinks!!
tojifushiguro1: messing with you over text is so fun. Anyway, 6 PM tomorrow at that place? Sounds like a plan. I can't wait to see you in person, gorgeous ;) You & I are gonna have so much fun, doll, just you wait.
automaticprincess7: see you tomorrow, Toji!! (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε`*)
tojifushiguro1: those lil' emojis you send are so adorable, just like the rest of ya.
You had to put your phone down because of how red your face was. If anyone saw you in this state, they'd probably think that you were deathly feverish and needed to go to the hospital, but if you spent the night with him, you probably would need to.
Your mind was reeling with everything that had just happened. The prospect of meeting a guy for the first time; the prospect of going on a date with an insanely hot guy; the prospect of going home & having sex with said insanely hot guy; and the prospect of it leading to something better. You knew your prayers of this working out would fall on deaf ears and that this guy was probably in it for just the sex, but there was this feeling, this voice in your head telling you to go for it.
Normally, you'd ignore that said voice, but maybe following that voice would bring some color back into your life.
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Enter Toji Fushiguro
╰┈➤ "Fuckin' christ is that girl adorable," Toji muttered to himself when he put his phone down. "I could just eat her for breakfast, lunch & dinner."
After hopeless hours of surfing through this website "Chasingangels.com" with all of its annoyingly bright colors and cutesy aesthetics, Toji had finally settled on a girl who he felt was worth the trouble of reaching out to. All these other profiles he'd swiped on were either not his type or were looking for a good time, not a long time, so when he finally found you, he felt like he'd just won big at the horse races he quit going to. Seriously, you were such a stroke of luck that he considered going out to gamble.
But, after his late wife had died, and after he'd made that promise to quit all his vices, he wasn't actually gonna go gamble his savings away.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand: your profile.
Even after he put his phone down to clear his mind, he reached for it & continued looking at your profile, his green eyes scrutinizing every single detail and just taking it all in. You were gorgeous, that much was true, but there was also something so yummy, so saccharinely sweet about the way you looked at the camera with your raspberry lip gloss and your big brown eyes and your long lashes and your everything that compelled him to DM you.
You... you were just a walking wet dream, you were perfect in every single way. Not only were you insanely attractive, but you also had the right criteria in your bio: your frontal lobe had developed (you were 25) & you were looking for something serious.
Bingo.
But, at the same time, Toji knew good and well that a girl like you was hard to come by, so he sent that DM without any hope of getting one in return. Surely a gorgeous gal like you had plenty of offers, right? He also knew that using a website like this was quite unsavory, even for him. This website, chasingangels.com, was supposed to be a "dating website" for transgender women, but he knew good and well that this site housed some... off individuals.
It was all in the name of the website. Chasing angels? Seriously? The developers couldn't have come up with a better website name that wasn't so fetishizing? Part of him wondered what the hell a girl like you was doing on this site--a site that was meant to give men direct access to trans women. Part of him also wondered why he, himself, was on this website to begin with. Was he seriously turning into one of them, one of those "chasers" that were known to use trans women? And would you categorize him as such?
Those little thoughts of self-doubt were quickly wiped away when you replied within two minutes of him sending that message.
Was fortune finally smiling upon him? Were the lonely nights he spent in the company of prostitutes and random flings coming to a close with you?
Were you the angel he's been chasing all this time? And did he finally catch you?
The conversation with you went smoother than expected, if he was being honest. You talked just how you looked: like an angel, with your bashful replies & those cute little emoticons that you used. He made sure to lay on the charm thick, since it was all he knew how to do when he was flirting with a girl he liked, and it paid off because now he had a date with the girl of his dreams tomorrow.
All he had to do now was find a babysitter for little 8 year old Megumi, and he'd be golden.
He promptly exited out of the website and called up his go-to babysitter, Satoru Gojo, to see if he was available for the evening & night. He swore he heard trumpets from heaven when the white-haired man said he'd be available.
He practically got on his knees and looked up at the ceiling. "Whoever you are... thank you."
Next on the agenda would be to prepare for said date tomorrow.
There was no way that this was the same man you talked to online (and no, he didn't catfish you). How could a man be so.... large?!
Flashback to a few hours ago when you were first getting ready for your little date. "I'm going on a date, on a date, on a date~! Oooh, I may be getting some dick tonight~!!" You sang to yourself as you got ready for your date. You were busy putting in your hot rollers, trying to snap them into place so that they wouldn't fall out and potentially burn you.
You didn't sleep a wink during the entire night. The images of that guy, that hunky dilf who you somehow managed to snag before anyone else did. You were honestly pretty surprised that you accomplished such a feat--any girl would be lucky to be underneath that fine specimen! Then again, maybe the people who used the website didn't like big, strong men with a face so rideable that you could probably cum 5 times just by grinding against his nose... either way, you were a lucky, lucky girl!
Once the rollers were in place, you pulled out all the stops to make sure that your makeup was in tip-top shape. A matte, blurring primer (which could be classified as industrial grade); pink cherry blossom setting powder just so that you could look extra pink and girly; a touch of eyelid glitter just to make your eyes sparkle... you even followed an elaborate tutorial on Youtube just so that you could charm him with your eyes.
Everything was coming together perfectly. There were no stray streaks of eyeliner, nor was your makeup crusty or cakey; it was simply perfect.
Taking out your hot rollers, you grabbed a hairbrush and styled it to your liking with a headband, then you spritzed on some perfume and went to pick out the perfect outfit to charm him. Clearly, he had a thing for girly girls, so a pink outfit would do just the trick. Your outfit for the date consisted of a pink puff-sleeve top along with a pleated denim mini-skirt, your signature Tiffany & Co. initial necklace, a charm bracelet, a cute little rhinestone belt and some strappy sandals to complete the look.
You took a good, long look in the mirror and smiled to yourself. It sure was a shame that you being transgender got in the way of a lot of your relationships, and the fact that this was probably just to meet up for sex... but it was still nice to get dolled up.
"What do you think, Cupcake?" you asked your fluffy black cat who had a pink collar around her neck. You scratched your little cat's chin and gave her a few butt pats before standing up again.
You made your way over to the front door of your apartment, put all your belongings in your pink Chanel, and made sure to remember your keys. "Wish me luck," you said to your cat as you left. You locked the door behind you, and set out for the nearest train station.
Which was how you ended up standing outside of the coffee shop that the two of you agreed to meet at. It was an odd time to go to a coffee shop, since most people went in the morning, but not everybody met up with strangers on the internet for sexual favors. You texted Toji that you were here and pushed open the glass doors of the shop.
"He shouldn't be too hard to miss-" you stopped dead in your tracks when you caught sight of the man. To say that he was hot was an understatement, because this man was just delectable.
Oh... my... god." He wasn't, in fact, too hard to miss, since he was A. one of the only patrons there, and B. huge. As in, he took up the entirety of his chair & had to spread his legs around the table so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable. And the best part?
He looked even better in person!!
The simple white sweater that he donned was stretched around his frame, and you could see the outline of his broad shoulders & his traps. The sleeves were rolled up around his forearms, giving you a delicious sight of his thick, veiny forearms, and his big hands that were clutching the menu like it was a little sheet of paper only made you wanna rub your thighs together. His legs were a whole other story: his muscular thighs were stretching his black pants (but not to the extent to where he looked goofy), and all you wanted to do was just sit on his lap!!
Your little rambling was interrupted when he looked up from the menu and right at you. He had a little look of shock on his face for a split second before he cracked a smile, and you felt like butter melting on a hot day from the way he looked at you.
"U-Um, hi," was the first thing you squeaked out to him. Normally, you were a confident girl; but right now, you were reduced to mere prey under the gaze of this man.
"Hey, sweetheart. Please, have a seat." He made the effort to get up and pull your seat out for you, and you offered him a bashful smile.
"Thank you," you all but whispered, letting him push you in. He then took his seat from across the table, and the two of you sat in silence for a few seconds. You could hear the intense, almost unbearable beat of your heart pounding in your ears, and you looked down at the table out of nervousness. Every time you looked up at Toji, your eyes immediately darted back to their original position, and your cheeks got even redder.
"My god, are you pretty," his deliciously raspy voice remarked when he decided to break the silence. "I mean, I bet you get that a lot, but... damn."
You squeaked in response and retreated into yourself further. "I don't get that a lot, but... T-Thank you, F-Fushiguro," you stammered. You were fumbling this date by the second, but it was practically impossible to even talk to this Adonis that was right in front of you.
A few more moments of silence until he decided to speak up again. "Doll, I gotta ask you something: am I really that scary?"
The question made you look at him out of confusion rather than fluster. "Huh? Um... no? Why do you ask?"
He relaxed a little further into his seat and folded his arms over his chest. "Because the entire time we've been on this little date, you've been starin' at the damn table. C'mon, you've gotta give me somethin' to work with here. I wanna get to know you a little bit, pretty!" He said.
You almost felt bad for the guy right about now. Here he was, going on this date that he went out of his way to ask you out on, and you were staring at the table like an idiot.
"I'm sorry," you laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, "I'm not really experienced at going on dates... this is the first one I've been on in a while." For whatever reason, this guy made you feel more & more comfortable the longer you were around him.
"Well that makes two of us," he chortled. "I haven't been on one in months, myself. That little website was probably my last resort. If I gave up on it, I would've given up on going on dates altogether."
"Oh, right, you're divorced..." you trailed off, feeling bad for the guy.
He shrugged. "'s nothin'. Haven't seen my ex-wife in ages, anyway; my son and I get along just fine."
"Well, that's good to hear," you smiled at him. "Yeah, I see a lot of single fathers and divorcées passing through that site. Most of them are just ex-pats."
"Really, now?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. "I would've thought that being a single father makes me more unappealing."
You shrugged. "It doesn't make a difference to me, or the rest of the girls on that site at that. Most people just use that website for hookups, anyway."
His other eyebrow raised, and he looked at you with more curiosity. "Really, now? Huh... I never would've guessed. This whole time, I thought that everyone on there was just an asshole; I didn't think that the site was made for hookups."
"It's not advertised for hookups, but people treat it as such. Most dating sites like that just end up getting used for hookups."
"Hm," he said, looking off to the side. "So what the hell were you doing on that site to begin with?"
This made you look at him with more confusion. "Huh?"
He leaned forward, now putting his forearms on the table. "I mean: what the hell was a pretty girl like you doing on a hookup website?"
"I-I don't use it for hookups!" you said defensively, putting your hands up. "I just... look, it was the only available site for women like me, and I was sick of people on regular dating apps blocking me after I told them that I was trans. I sure as shit didn't wanna use Grindr, so that website was also my last resort. Speaking of, what were you doing on that website if you were looking for more than just hookups?"
Toji shrugged again. "I dunno, honestly. I just went on it without a second thought. I tried other websites out, but none of 'em gave me any results."
You furrowed your brow in confusion. "So you went on a website that was specifically for men who liked trans women...?"
He was a bit caught off guard by your observation, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "The way you're saying it makes me sound like some sorta creep... But, you're not entirely wrong. When I first saw an advertisement for that website, I was intrigued, to say the least. I thought that, since I had so much bad luck on the normal sites, why not try somethin' different? I've always been kinda curious about trans women, too. Part of me wondered what it'd be like to date one, and so I was led to that website."
Your expression slightly fell, and you realized what this guy's deal was. "Oh, so you're... you're one of those guys," you said quite bitterly.
Toji picked up on this and freaked out a little bit. "N-No, I'm not like that! I'm not some fetishizing prick who wants a hookup; I'm just a lonely guy who's looking for something, alright? I've been lonely for so long that I'm willing to try anything with any type of girl. It doesn't matter if she's cis or trans; I just want something--anything, any kind of connection." He took a deep breath, feeling like he was digging himself into a hole the more he spoke. "Fuck... I'm making this worse for myself, aren't I?"
You were now feeling sorry for the guy for a whole different reason. "No, Fushiguro, I get it... dating as a single father must be tough for you. And, I can see the appeal of trying out dating with a different type of woman, expanding your horizons. Even though you might be using a site that hosts a lot of creeps, you're using it with good intentions." Your frown relaxed into a smile, and he felt his heart skip a beat when you smiled at him. "So I guess I won't be getting my hopes down."
Toji gave you another look of shock, and he felt his cheeks heat up just a little--that smile of yours was just so beautiful. His look of shock changed into a smile, and he intertwined one of his fingers with yours. "Well, ain't I a lucky bastard," he chuckled, already easing back into the date. "So, gorgeous, why don't we start over?"
You nodded and smiled brighter at him. "I think we should."
"Good," he hummed, reaching out to shake your hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Toji Fushiguro. Mind telling me about yourself, beautiful?"
You giggled at all the pet names and the compliments he was throwing your way. "My name's (Y/N), (L/N), and I don't mind at all."
Maybe... maybe this wouldn't just be a sex thing.
"I've gotta say, doll: meeting up with you has got to be one of the best decisions I've ever made," Toji said as the two of you walked out of the coffee shop together. Naturally, a guy as big as him dwarfed you, and so he had to crane his head just a lil' to look down at you. It's not like you were one of those "I'm so small and fragile!" girls--but next to him, you might as well have been.
'He's so handsome... I'm surprised I could even have a full on conversation with him. Props to myself for not screwing it up!'
He reached out to sling his big arm around your shoulders, and he pulled you into his embrace slightly. "You don't mind if I do this, right?" he purred suavely into your ear. "Sorry if I'm being a lil' too touchy, doll--I'm just not sure what girls like you are into. A lot of people don't like to be touched by people they don't know all that well."
If you were being honest, you were probably one of those people who didn't like physical contact; but with him, you were too into it to say no. "Well, I don't usually touch people like this, but I feel comfortable around you, so do as you please."
"Do as I please?" he repeated, leaning down to tickle your ear with his breath. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind for later."
Your first instinct was to worm your way out of his grasp and away from his seductive tongue, but his grip was so strong that you couldn't even budge. "T-Toji..." this was the first time you used his given name.
He felt his heart skip a beat when you used his name, but he masked it well. "What, doll? Ah, you're so cute when you're nervous... You can't exactly blame a guy for trying, right?" He let his grip loosen just a tad in case you were uncomfortable. "Anyway, where do you think we should head off to next?"
"Hm?" you asked, looking up at him. "You wanna go somewhere now? I thought that we were just going for coffee?"
"You've gotta be kiddin' me, doll... what, you thought that it was just a coffee thing? I ain't letting go of you that quickly," he snorted. "Besides, I've got someone watchin' over my kid for the rest of today & tonight, so my schedule's completely free."
"O-Oh, well I guess that's nice to hear!" you replied, trying to muster up the most confident smile you could. "Well, we are in Harajuku, so there's plenty to do around here."
Toji thought about it for a second. "Hm... to be honest, I'm thinking that we should just head back to my place--if you're up for it, at least. We could also head back to yours, or go to a love hotel. Preferably one that isn't shitty or full of diseases."
You immediately tensed up again when he brought up the idea of taking your date to somewhere more intimate or private. "Y-You don't wanna, like, go to the park or anything?"
He shook his head. "Nah, I don't; too many little shits and dogs running around to stay focused on my pretty date."
And there it was: that skip of the heartbeat when he buttered you up with his nicknames.
"We could also pick up some food on the way there. Y'know, make it more romantic? A full-on date, full of snacks and drinks before we get to the good part?"
You mulled over the different ideas that he proposed. You might've been completely into the guy; however, you weren't stupid. If you went back to his place, then you could be kidnapped or killed. There was also the possibility of his apartment being shitty (you've had your fair share of guys with garbage lining their rooms & mattresses on the floor). If you went back to your place, then there was also the possibility of him being a creep, and if he were a creep, then you wouldn't want him to know where you lived. A love hotel was probably the safest bet for a hookup, but there was also the possibility of the love hotel being shitty.
Did you even want to hookup with the guy? Well, he was very hot, and the chemistry between the two of you was off the charts, but this was a guy who wanted to get to know you better, and that rarely happened! Most guys were only ever into hookups, and hookup culture was draining. On one hand, you were a hopeless romantic; on the other hand, you were horny and in desperate need of some good pipe. What to do, what to do...
"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" Toji asked you, breaking you out of the prison that was your thoughts. "It's all up to you, doll. I mean, it's not like we're never gonna see each other again, right?"
"I guess you have a point," you remarked with a bashful smile.
"But why not have a little bit of fun while we're at it?" For whatever reason, his lips were right up against your ear again.
"Gah!" you yelped. He couldn't help but chuckle in response.
"C'mon, baby, don't you wanna have some fun tonight? I'm told I'm very good in bed--I know plenty of tricks that'll make your head spin. But what we do tonight is all up to you," he reminded you, letting go of you for a sec. "If you're not comfortable with it, then I'm not gonna force you. I ain't that type of guy."
His reassurance that it was all up to you was enough to make you make up your mind. It didn't seem like his words were laced with malice or manipulation; you genuinely felt like he was telling you the truth. He was an older guy, yes, and older guys could be creepy...
... but he wasn't that type of older guy. He wasn't one to play games or sleep around, nor was he the type to coerce naive young girls into his bed. If he did, he wouldn't have gone after someone whose frontal lobe was fully developed. He liked his girls girly, yes, but he also liked them with a brain and common sense.
And so, with a determined smile, you said: "No, Toji, I want to... I wanna spend the night with you. Preferably in a love hotel."
His face turned in your direction, and the smirk on his face turned into a toothy grin... which was more creepy than handsome, if you were being honest.
"That's more like it, sweetheart," he said, pulling you into the crook of his arm. "I'll make it 100% worth your while, don't even worry about it. Just leave it to Toji."
Was this a mistake? Or was this a good idea? Only time could tell. The sound of your pink Chanel heels clicking on the pavement & each step the two of you took towards the love hotel he already had picked out was a sign of what was to come.
"Thank you very much, sir! Please enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let us know if you need anything!" the welcoming receptionist of the love hotel said while handing Toji the keycard.
"Will do," Toji nodded, taking the card happily. He may not have been showing it, but he was more than eager to get on with this night. His fingers were fidgeting slightly, and the only thing that could quell his nerves would be a taste of you. He couldn't resist the urge to throw his arm around your waist and pull you in. 'She's so soft and squishy, I can't help but wonder how she'll feel underneath me. But, why's she so nervous? Aren't I a charming fellow?' Toji thought as he led the two of you to the elevator. "What's got you so nervous, sweetheart? I can feel all that tension that's built up inside of ya." You squeaked a little when he tightened his arm around your waist. "God, you're adorable... you're like a little marshmallow I can't wait to sink my teeth into."
"W-Well it's kinda hard to be calm when you're saying all that stuff," you said, the nervousness in your voice evident.
He listened to what you were saying and let out a sigh. "I get it, I get it. I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous, too. Well, more antsy than anything. You're just so fuckin' pretty that I just can't sit still! God, could this elevator be any slower?" he asked, tapping his foot on the linoleum floor.
"Just hold your horses, T-Toji," you said, trying to quell the nerves of the guy you were about to have sex with. "I wanna psyche myself up, okay?"
He offered you a remorseful smile and loosened his grip on your waist. "Alright, alright, I'll cool it down just for your sake, pretty. We've got all night long, anyway."
The rest of the elevator ride was quite silent with the ding of the elevator being the only sound made. Once you made it onto your guys' floor, the other sounds filling up the hallway were the sounds of couples having sex. Though you were no stranger to sex, you still had some sense of decency, so the sounds being made were quite embarrassing to listen to.
Toji took note of your discomfort, and he couldn't resist the urge to tease you just a little bit. "Soon, we'll be joining them with our own sounds," he croaked into your ear, making you jolt.
"D-Don't tease me like that! At least not until we're in the room itself..."
"It's just a little bit of teasing, doll--y'know I don't mean it like that."
Once you made it in front of your door, Toji grabbed the keycard and slid it into the lock, then promptly opened the door. "After you, m'lady," Toji said courteously.
"Thank you," you hummed with Toji following after you. The love hotel was Parisian-themed, and it was evident from the Eiffel tower decoration behind the bed as well as the faux-balcony that led to the outside. The bathroom had a large jacuzzi with gilded faucets, and if this wasn't a love hotel then you would've thought that you were in Versailles. "Well, this is something," you remarked as you set your bag down.
"Only the best for my gorgeous girl," Toji hummed, walking towards you. His first instinct was to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in for a kiss, but you put your hands and stopped him. "What's wrong? Did I do somethin' wrong?"
He truly was a gentleman.
"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, Toji," you reassured him. "Remember when I said I was nervous?"
He sighed, letting his hands fall to his side. "Doll, c'mon--you've gotta give me space to work with. How am I supposed to make you feel good if you don't let me?"
You tried to calm yourself down, but it didn't do anything. "'m sorry, Toji... I'm the worst possible girl to take out."
"You're not the 'worst possible'; you're just a little nervous, and that's understandable. But the way you keep refusing my advances and offers to help you calm down is starting to get on my nerves a little." He thought about what he could do to help you unwind, and he finally came up with an idea. "I know: why don't we start off with a little bit of foreplay? Y'know, some making out followed by taking these pesky clothes off? I really, really wanna make this work between us, baby... but you've gotta trust me. It won't feel good if there's no mutual trust."
You thought over everything you said, and it all sounded good--quite appealing, at that. While you were nervous of getting down to it, you still wanted it. You wanted Toji to make you feel good because you trusted & were attracted to him.
"Yeah, that sounds good," you finally said at last. Toji released the breath he was holding and smiled at you.
"Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," he murmured into your ear. He pulled you close and gave you a light kiss on the cheek, putting his hands on your waist to steady you. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, baby, you're not even gonna remember why you were nervous to begin with."
"I trust you-" he cut you off by moving his lips to yours, and he captured them in a featherlight kiss. "Toji..." you whispered into the kiss.
"Yeah, that's it--say my name," he murmured, pressing an even deeper kiss to your lips. "God, you taste so fuckin' sweet, baby," he whispered, "lemme kiss you some more, 'kay?"
He sat down on the bed and pulled you in by the waist, his big hands keeping a firm grip on your body so that you wouldn't go anywhere. Even his hands dwarfed your body, that was how big he was!
The more he kissed you, the more you relaxed and let him do what he thought felt right. Before you knew it, the two of you were engaged in a heated make-out session, the sounds of your sighs & lips smacking providing a soundtrack to the night. While it may have just been foreplay, you were already melting into it. "More... I want more, Toji~" you whined into his mouth.
"You want more already, pretty thing?" he rasped, his hands exploring your body like an untouched treasure, "use your words, baby. Tell Toji what you want--clearly."
"I want you... to keep kissin' me... touch me some more..." you grabbed his hand and guided it up your shirt, and you squeezed your breast with his hand. "I want you to touch me right there- oh~!"
He didn't need any direction, already squeezing your tit through your bra. "You like it when I squeeze your tits, baby? How about I squeeze this other one, hm? Wouldn't want it to get lonely, now, would you?" His little questions, sweet-talking and his big hands were turning your knees into wobbly jelly.
"Yeah~ yeah~ gimme more, Toji, fuck--I want all of that!" you exclaimed into his lips.
"Just as I thought: underneath that nervous little exterior of 'yers, you're a little slut, ain't ya?" he gave you a smirk and bit down on your bottom lip, making you yelp into the kiss. "Fuck, just listen to all of those sweet noises, baby--my dick's so fuckin' hard for ya. Can't you feel it, baby?" he even grabbed your hand and made you palm his erection, and he let out a deep sigh once you did so. "Those little hands of yours... fuck, I can't wait to feel 'em wrapped around my cock."
Your hands used to be a source of discontent for you, given how... manly they looked, but compared to Toji's hands? Well, they were dwarfed entirely.
"J-Just how big are you?" you asked out of nervousness once you felt the full weight and size of his erection.
"Wait and see, baby girl," he purred, offering you a cocky smirk. He knew he was well-endowed, and he knew that he was good at using those inches. "Or would you rather skip all the foreplay and get to the good stuff?"
You shook your head, still palming his erection. "No, I still wanna ease into it," you said.
"Have it your way, then. This night's all about you, sweet stuff." He resumed his kissing, this time latching his lips onto your jawline & trailing his lips down to your chest. You had an affinity for low-cut tops, so it gave him the perfect amount of space to pepper kisses on. "Mmmm... yeah, you are definitely some sweet stuff," he murmured, pressing kisses to your chest.
"Mn~" you moaned softly, biting your lips as if you were embarrassed of the way this man made you feel.
"Oh? You like it when I kiss you there?" he asked, peppering more kisses to your cleavage.
"Yeah, I do, Toji~" you murmured, letting out a bigger moan.
"What about... here?" he pressed one right in between the valley of your tits, and it was enough to elicit a nice, loud moan. "Fuck... you're really enjoying this, huh," he drawled in between chest kisses.
"I am, Toji, I am," you managed to breathe out. The more you moaned, the tighter his grip became on your waist.
"Yeah, you really are, princess. But, isn't that what we came here to do?" You nodded, and he chuckled. "Fuck, yeah, it is. Gonna make you feel so good... you're gonna forget 'yer own name."
Chest kisses weren't enough for the guy; he wanted--needed more of you. He needed to see you in the heat of the moment, to see how you reacted to getting the wind taken from your lungs, to see the way your ass would bounce against his powerful pelvis.
"Why don't we take this thing off, hm?" he was already in the middle of sliding your top off when he asked you that, so all you could do was let him. Once he did, his eyes lit up at the sight of your chest in that pretty pink bra. "Such pretty tits, held up by this pretty bra of yours," he rasped, hooking his finger underneath the pink fabric. "You wore this nice of lingerie just for me? Just for ol' Toji?"
You nodded vigorously, no longer shy or bashful. "Yeah, I wore it for you, Toji," you affirmed. "Wore it so you could tear it off of me."
His eyebrows shot up when you started voicing your fantasies, and he shook his head. "Yeah, you really are turning into a big ol' slut. None of that cute, shy shit anymore, huh?"
"I can't help it; your fingers just make me feel too good!"
"Oh, my fingers are making you feel good?" he repeated, a hint of mocking in his voice. "Well, in that case..." his big hands yanked the shorts underneath your mini skirt and his two fingers started caressing your hole. "Does that feel good, doll?"
You gasped and arched into his body, your perfect tits pressed against his clothed chest. "Fuck... feels so good~!"
"Oh, really? But I ain't even stick anything into ya? Are you really that touch-starved?" he asked mockingly, his green eyes leering at your blushing, moaning expression. One of his hands spanked your plump cheek, making you yelp. "Answer the question, doll."
"Y-Yes, fuck--I'm so fucking touch starved," you said through a moan, yelping when he spanked you again.
"Damn right, you are. Can't wait to see how tight you are--I can already imagine the way you're gonna suffocate my cock." The hand that was caressing your hole pushed past your panties and he stuck those two fingers into your hole, fingering you through your panties.
These ministrations of his fingers were making you lose your mind, and you let out the loudest moan yet. "F-Fuck! Oh, fuck- fuck, such thick fingers!!" You gasped, your voice reaching a new pitch you didn't think was possible.
"Yeah? You like my thick fingers inside o' that hole of 'yers? If I didn't know any better, I woulda assumed that you were a virgin, but how could I when you're such. A. Fucking. Slut?" he punctuated his question with spanks, his two fingers still fingering you. "C'mon, doll, lemme hear s'more of those moans. You know you wanna moan for Toji," he coaxed you, now stretching your cheek open with the hand that was spanking you.
And so, you moaned. You moaned as loud as you wanted to & possibly could, no longer worrying about how embarrassingly loud they'd be. Toji wasn't judging your moans; he savored them, worshiped them like they were holy scripture. "Fuck~! Fuck~! Oh, fuck, T-Toji--your fingers, they're so fucking good, keep curling them, please!! I'm gonna c-cum on your fingers if you k-k-keep this up!!" You were a babbling, incoherent mess while he worked his fingers into your tight hole. He pushed another finger in, essentially slutting you out on his hand alone. He licked his fingers again and started pumping them in & out harder, the feral grin on his face widening in size.
"Yeah, yeaah, that's what I'm fuckin' talking about, baby!" He exclaimed, fucking you vigorously on his fingers. "You're gonna cum, aren't ya? You're gonna cum from my fingers alone? You little whore, I can't wait to turn your brain to mush with my cock, just you wait!" If you weren't such a touch-starved whore for this man, the look in his eyes would've sent you running...
.... but you were a touch-starved whore. You were sucking his fingers in like you needed them to survive, like you'd die if you didn't get fingered by the older man. When his fingers hit that spongy spot inside of your tender hole, your eyes shot open and you felt an ache building up in your tummy. "Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck~!!" you squealed, "Fuck, Toji, k-keep fingerin' me right there, you're touching all of my sweet spots!!" You were no better or quieter than any of those other people in the next door rooms.
He realized that he'd hit your soft spot, and the grin on his face only intensified. "Oh, you want it there?" he dug his fingers in as deep as he possibly could, hitting your prostate yet again.
"Yes, fuck yes, Toji!!" You screamed at the top of your lungs.
"Oh, you little fucking slut, you're getting your brains fucked out just by my fingers, eh? I don't even need a cock to make you lose your mind, because you've already lost it!!" He continued savagely finger-fucking you, pushing you that much closer to the edge.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you babbled, your eyes half-lidded as he jackhammered his hand into your hole, "I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum- haven't came in so-"
Just like that, you felt the cord snap in your belly, and you let the dam break. You didn't know what you said to him, only that you felt a gush of cum go through your penis & stain your panties. Your milky fluid soaked your panties entirely, some of it even landing on his pants and staining the black fabric. You let out a "Tojiii~!!" when you came, and you slumped over into the crook of his neck. He caught you before you could fall, and he couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.
"Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about, doll," he said into your ear, patting your back and planting a kiss on your neck. Once you sat up and looked at him again, he captured your plump lips into a soft yet firm kiss, craning your head just right so he could kiss you perfectly.
"Toji... fuck, I didn't think I could cum that hard on a couple of fingers alone," you giggled, your mind still reeling from the intense pleasure.
"That's because you've been messing around with little boys who don't know what they're doing, doll. Can't even please a woman regardless if they've got a pussy or a dick," he chuckled, letting you catch your breath. "But I hope you know that that was just the appetizer, baby; there's plenty more where that came from."
"W-What?" before you knew it, you'd been flipped onto your back with Toji hovering over you.
"Hey there, pretty," he hummed, giving you a smile.
"Hey, Toji," you replied, the intensity of his gaze making you blush again.
"Blushin' already?" he moved one of his hands to your cheek and rubbed it as if you were a kitten. "Sweet girl," he cooed. Once he was done rubbing your cheek, he reached around your back and unclasped your bra. "Don't mind if I do," he gruffed, taking your bra off and letting the treasures that were your tits free. When the bra wasn't holding them up anymore, he could finally appreciate and marvel at them. "Fuck, doll... those are some sweet tits you've got there," he said, licking his lips and practically salivating at the sight. "May I?"
"May you what?" you asked, already embarrassed at how he was ogling you.
"May I suck your breasts, baby? They're such works of art that I wanna make sure I'm not tainting 'em," he murmured, already drooling over them.
"Toji, they're just my breasts," you giggled. "Nothing to be proud of..."
"Nothing to be proud of?! Baby, you've got the most amazing tits I've ever seen--and I've seen plenty. They're so perfectly round, so perky, 'n those nipples are just the perfect size to suck on."
You couldn't help but blush and giggle as he went on & on about your chest and how much he loved it. "If it gets you to stop... gushing about them, then you can suck-"
You didn't have to tell the man twice. He already had one of your nipples in his mouth and was holding the other in his hand, and you couldn't stop the beautiful moan that left your raspberry lips. "Fuck, Toji, you really know how to make a girl f-feel good," you whimpered, the intensity of his tit-sucking making your nipples extra sensitive.
"It's in my DNA," he said against your nipple. "I'm good at making pretty girls feel good." He shot you a cocky smirk before sucking on the other, practically losing his mind at the taste. If your nipples tasted this good, he wondered what it'd be like to eat your ass, maybe even suck your cock... if you let him, of course.
Once he'd had enough of your tits in his mouth, he retracted his lips & kissed yours. "Now those are some sweet tits," he chuckled, finally giving you some room to breathe.
"Toji... now they're all puffy and swollen," you pouted at the extra-sensitivity that came as a result of his voracious tit worship.
He shrugged at your little gripe. "Can you blame a guy?" he even flicked your nipple and watched you squirm in discomfort, shooting you a shit-eating grin. "Making you lose your mind's part of the deal, doll, and I can't do that if you're not a moaning mess. Now, spread those legs for me, baby girl, because I'm gonna show you how it feels to get devoured by a guy who knows what he's doin'."
"What are you..." you trailed off when he pulled your skirt down entirely and exposed your drenched panties. He could make out the outline of your soft penis, and he hooked his fingers under the fabric of your panties & slid them down your smooth thighs. Once he was finally able to see all of you, the little smile that was on his face grew into a wide grin.
"Fuck, doll... you're just..." he sat up to get a good look at your naked form, and you shyly covered your crotch in embarrassment. "Nah, don't hide this gorgeous sight from me, doll, lemme see you." He pried your hands off with one of his and once he was able to see you fully, he took in your naked form with his eyes. "You're a work of fucking art, baby."
"You're just sayin' shit, Toji," you mumbled, a little embarrassed by his praising.
"I'm saying shit from the heart, doll," he corrected you, making you crack a little smile. "I just... wow, you're just amazing." He shook his head in disbelief at how such a perfect specimen could be wandering earth without his knowledge. "I definitely found an angel," he jested, making you crack another smile.
"Can you just get on with what you're doing?"
"I thought you'd never ask." Slowly but surely, he planted kisses on your belly & made his way down to where the goodies were. "Spread those legs f'me, doll. I need to see every inch of you."
You parted your legs gingerly, letting him see what he wanted to see. He lowered his head to where your hole was & grabbed your legs, spreading them further for his liking. He then pushed them back up gently, giving him a full view of your puckered anus. "Look at that shit... so delicious, so perfect, so sweet-lookin'," he muttered, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh. "You're just perfect in every single way... fucking fuck," he chuckled, shaking his head once again.
You stayed silent, far too vulnerable or nervous to give him one of your usually sassy quips. "Cat got 'yer tongue, doll?"
"You've got my tongue," you muttered, making him chuckle again.
"I'm gonna feast on this perfect hole of 'yers, baby, and then I'm gonna impale you on this dick & make you see stars," he promised, sitting up again. "Lemme just... take this damn sweater off," he grumbled, sliding the white cotton over his head.
It was your turn to marvel at him now. You knew that he was a big guy with some big muscles, but now that you were seeing the real deal for yourself, you couldn't help the squeak of nervousness that left your lips. He truly was an adonis in every sense of the word: his meaty pecs that were thicker than some peoples' boobs, a shredded 8-pack that could quite literally grind cheese on it, that thin, tapered waist that expanded to a set of broad shoulders, not to mention the biceps that could crush your head. "Oh, wow," you said involuntarily, the intrusive thoughts escaping your mind.
"Like what you see, doll?" he asked cockily, flexing one of his huge biceps for you.
"Yeah... I do like, me likey," you said, still entranced by his frame.
"I told you I wasn't one of those little boys you've been hanging around, doll--I know what I'm doin'." He put his bicep down and then dipped his head back to your puckered hole, and you couldn't help but tense up a little. You tried to close your thighs out of embarrassment, but he easily pried them open with his two big hands. "Enough hidin' baby, enough of that coy shit. I already made you cum on my fingers, right? Now, I'm gonna make you cum on my tongue."
Before you could say anything, he latched his mouth to your hole, the sensation immediately making you squeak. "Fuck~!" You gasped, the wet muscle licking a stripe up your anus.
"It's time to enjoy my meal," he gruffed before diving in fully, his face disappearing into your anal cavity.
Toji wasn't lying--he really wasn't, because when he said he'd make you lose your mind, you were doing just that. "Fuck... oh, fuck, T-Toji~" you sighed, relaxing into his ministrations. You've had your ass eaten before, but the skill and tenacity with which he ate you out was 10 times more pleasurable than those other times.
The more he licked and flicked, the more moans you moaned. You were writhing about, your hands gripping both the sheets and his hair in delicious agony. It was like you were a virgin, touched for the very first time by this experienced, older man. "Fuck~!" You squealed, not knowing what else to do but enjoy it. Every time your gaze would wander back to Toji, the sight of his biceps curled and his broad shoulders supporting your legs made your stomach flutter. He was just so incredibly attractive in every way, and his oral skills were just that: incredibly attractive.
"I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum soon, fuck--I've never been pushed to the edge so quickly!" You admitted between breathy moans, still grinding your ass against his face.
"Yeah? You're gonna cum already?" he asked in between licks and slurps, "hah, you're already such a whore for ol' Toji, and he hasn't even fucked you with his cock." He gave your thigh a firm slap before diving back in again. You could see the enjoyment in his verdant eyes, and it only made you lose your mind that much quicker.
Soon enough, the words and quips escaping your mouth lessened in favor of the moans & whimpers that took their rightful places. He was loving every second of this--both your heavenly moans and taste on his tongue were just perfect. He could feel himself losing it, his tongue devouring you like a feral animal that needed taming.
"Fuck... so fucking delicious, baby... you've been keeping this taste from me for how long?" he asked in between sucks. "I'm never lettin' go of ya now, not when you taste so perfect."
You were mindlessly moaning and nodding your head to everything he said, no longer able to resist the sweet temptation of losing yourself in his mouth. "Yeah~ yeah, Toji, f-fuck yeah~!" the man could've asked to marry you right then and there and you wouldn't have registered it, that was how insane he drove you.
If he could use his tongue on you so expertly, how would you fare taking his cock?
He chuckled into your sweet, plush ass, now stroking your cock gently. "Jus' keep those pretty moans comin', baby, and I'll give you everything you want."
By then, you didn't know how long it had been since he'd started eating your ass. It could've been 10 minutes, an hour or ten hours--numbers were no longer a thing in your mind. You knew he had an experience with pleasuring women, but you didn't know he'd be such an eater! It was like the more he ate, the more he craved. His appetite simply couldn't be quenched. Toji, himself, also took note of how he was losing himself in you, but he just couldn't stop. You were too sweet for your own good, and someone would have to enjoy it. He noticed how your thighs were trembling like an earthquake from the intensity of it all, and he gave you an apologetic stare & retracted his lips temporarily (still fingering you).
"'m sorry, doll, but you're just too sweet... I've gotta have more of this," he panted before diving in again.
All you could give in response was a pathetic whine and a moan.
"Losin' your mind so quickly?" he jested in between swipes of your hole. "Like a cute lil' virgin," he hummed before diving in again, burying his face in your engorged hole. "Fuck.. need more... gotta have some more of you... you don't mind, do you?" Before you could even make a sound, he grabbed your hips and held them up with his strong hands, dipping his tongue even deeper if that was even humanly possible.
You let out a loud, high-pitched moan when he did this. How could it be that his tongue was already reaching your sweet spot?! "F-F-Fuck, Toji, please!!" You gasped, writhing about when he mounted your hips in the air.
"Please what, doll?" he taunted you in between sucks.
"P-Please, just make me cum already--I c-can't take this pleasure anymore!!"
"The little princess wants to cum, eh?" he chuckled lowly, making your cheeks heat up out of embarrassment. "Alright, alright... I guess I'll stop torturin' ya." He shifted the weight of your body to one of his hands & his strong arm, and he moved the other hand to start stroking your cock.
When his hand made contact around your cock, that was when all hell broke loose inside of your body. "Tojiii~!!" You squealed, bucking your hips while being held in mid-air, "Toji, Toji, Toji, T-Toji- I can't- I'm fucking c-cum-"
It was laughably cute how you desperately, needly jerked your hips into his hand, practically doing all the work for him. Your cum shot out in spurts, the milky-white substance landing on your tits, the perfect decoration for a pretty girl like you.
"That's it, there you go--thereee you go, pretty," he encouraged you, removing his mouth from your abused anus. "Cumming so much for me... fuck, you're just precious, baby. So fuckin' precious." He cooed and coaxed you with his words, guiding you through your second orgasm & its aftershocks.
When you finally came to and opened your eyes to look at him, his face was a few inches from yours, and he was carefully watching your reactions. "There you are, doll," he crooned, cupping your cheek gently. "Now, how was that for being eaten?" he asked with a cocky chuckle. One of his hands moved closer to your lips, and he stuck his thumb inside just to see what would happen. "Look at you," he rasped. "Even when you're reelin' from an orgasm, you're still so eager to please." He stuck his thumb further into your mouth just for the fun of it before retracting.
"Never been eaten like that before," you admitted with flushed cheeks.
"That's because you've never been with a real man before," he chuckled, patting your cheek before sitting up again. "Speaking of real men, I believe you've got a little present waitin' for ya." His hands moved to the hem of his pants, and he undid the buckle of his belt. "You're in for a real doozy if you came that hard on my fingers," he warned you, watching as your brows furrowed in confusion and fear.
"What're you..." you quickly realized just what he meant when he unbuckled his pants and shimmied out of them. The tent in his boxers was...
Massive.
You wondered what kind of monster he was hiding in there. Sure, you weren't a virgin--but you might as well have been one to Toji. He grabbed the waistband of his boxers and looked at you intently, watching your every reaction: "you ready, doll?"
Before you could answer that, he pulled his boxers down and let the Goliath of his cock spring free. And what you saw only confirmed your suspicions.
"Oh my god," was all you said.
His cock was massive, just like the rest of him. It was a good 9-inches, girthy, and was leaking precum like crazy onto the sheets. "Sorry 'bout that," he said in mock apology when his precum made a mess on the sheets. His cock had an angry red tip and one big vein up the side, and the sheer thickness of it was a doozy.
"How the fuck is that supposed to fit inside of me?" you asked out of panic. You were eager to have sex with the man, sure, but you weren't eager to be sent to the hospital.
"With plenty of lube and preparation, of course." He reached over to the nightstand and saw what kind of stuff they had in there. Luckily for your poor little hole, they had different bottles of lubricant as well as condoms for all shapes & sizes (including Magnum XXL). He took out the biggest size option and ripped open the plastic. He rolled it onto his cock before looking at you, and the fear in your eyes made him soften up for a moment. "What's the matter, doll? Are you scared of me or somethin'?"
"I'm not scared of you; I'm scared of your cock," you clarified, still eyeing the huge meat that he was packing.
He let out a chuckle before slicking some lube onto his cock. "Doll, don't worry; I've done this plenty of times before. My ex-wife was actually a virgin when we first got together, and we had a son together."
"I guess you're right..."
He set the jokes aside and cupped your chin again. "What I'm saying is that you don't gotta worry about anything, doll. I'm good at making women feel good, and that includes women like you. We'll ease into it as slowly as you want and you can take as much time as you need. All I want is for the two of us to enjoy ourselves." He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, quelling any further worries. "I really, really like you, (Y/N). I'd never do anything to hurt you. You trust me, right?"
You nodded shakily once you parted lips.
"Good, because that's all I want," he added with a comforting smile. "I want this to lead somewhere, y'know? And what good would it do me to hurt you?" He trailed kisses down your neck and gave your breast a reaffirming squeeze. "Just you wait, baby. Once the initial stretch is out of the way, you're gonna feel so fuckin' amazing."
You smiled softly at Toji, still nervous but confident that you were gonna have a great time with him. "I trust you, Toji. I trust your abilities."
"That's a good girl," he rumbled in response. He coated his fingers in lubricant and stuck them inside of you, the cold feeling making you yelp and squirm. "Sorry 'bout that, doll, I just wanted to make sure you were all slippery and ready f'me." After wiping the excess on his thigh, he grabbed ahold of his lubed up cock & started moving it towards your entrance. "Spread those legs, baby... yeah, that's it. You follow orders so well," he praised, grabbing your thigh and pinning it back with his hand. "Okay, here it goes... just hold onto me, pretty girl, hold onto my back."
You were nervous, oh-so nervous about what was to come. You knew it was gonna hurt, you knew it'd be uncomfortable at first, but yet you were still determined to take it because you knew you could. After all, surely it wouldn't hurt that bad, right?
Wrong.
When you felt the head of his cock pierce your hole, your eyes immediately shot open and you felt a pain in your butt. "Ah~!" your initial moan of pain was quite high-pitched, and he winced at the thought of the initial stretch. Slowly but surely, Toji slid more & more of his cock into your ass, gritting his teeth the entire time. You, meanwhile, were whimpering in pain, whining from how bad it hurt. "Toji, Toji, p-please--I can't take it-"
"C'mon, baby, you've got this. Just breathe 'n hold onto me, okay? You're doing so well, sooo fuckin' well," he crooned into your ear, kissing away the tears of pain that flowed down your cheeks.
"Please, Toji, it hurts!"
"I know it hurts, I know--but you're almost there, see? We're past the halfway point already. C'mon, you're a big girl, you can handle it. Just... just lemme slide... oh, fuck-" the feeling of your tight ass around his cock was just heavenly. It was unlike anything he's ever felt before. Any mouth that sucked him, any pussy that took him couldn't even compare to this overflow of sensation that he was feeling. It was like angels were caressing him, like the softest pillow in existence. "Oh, fucking fuck," he panted, desperately resisting the urge to just shove it all in there and take your pleasure for himself. "Just... just a little bit more... hah- are you tryin' to choke me or somethin'?"
"No, I swear! It's just, it hurts so good, god you're so fucking big, Toji!!" And there it was: that spongy spot that drove the two of you wild. Once the tip of his cock pierced it, all those whines and pained cries were replaced by sheer, unabashed pleasure. The combination of the fading pain & the incoming waves of pleasure and heaven were enough to make you scream out his name: "Tojiii, fuuuck!!"
"Jesus christ... oh my god," he rasped, throwing his head back at the delicious constriction. "You feel so, so, so amazing." He moved his head back to look at you, and his eyes widened by how deliciously erotic the scene was. You, underneath him, your face the unbridled image of pleasure, and that yummy belly bulge that showed where his cock was hitting you. "Fuck, I'm hitting you that deep? Hahh, if there was any chance of me letting you go, that chance was just wiped away! Just lemme... fuck," he gasped when he retracted his cock slowly but surely, dragging every inch against your anal walls.
When he plunged his cock back inside of you, you could see stars painted on the ceiling above you. "I... can't... it feels too good... m-making me lose my mind-" you said in between gasps.
"Too good? Too good?" he was slowly starting to pick up steam, rocking his hips back and forth. "Just wait 'til you get adjusted to me, because I'm gonna make you see the whole fucking galaxy."
As Toji gradually began to pick up speed, your nails dug into his muscular back, raking it down, making his back all but red. "Fuck~ fuck~ fuck~ fuck~" you whimpered in between thrusts, your eyes going half-lidded and your jaw going slack.
"Yeahhhh, there you go, doll," he panted, "just keep tellin' me how amazing you're feeling, and I'll make you feel even better."
The more he thrusted into you, the dirtier your moans became. You were now reduced to nothing but a moany, whiny puddle with your hands going to his back and holding on for dear life. Toji was also in a similar state to you, thrusting into you like a madman who needed you to survive.
"Fuck... shit, doll, you're so fuckin' warm n' heavenly--are you trying to make me addicted to you? Because it's workin, baby girl," he rasped, dipping his head to where yours laid and whispering dirty nothings into your ear.
After you let out a few whiny, incoherent moans, you were able to babble: "W-Want you, Toji--want you to keep fucking me like this!"
"Yeah? You want me to fuck you like this? Or, maybe," he grabbed your legs, threw them over his shoulders & folded you like a pretzel, "like this?" This change in position allowed the tip of his meaty cock to pierce your spongy spot, making you moan like an idiot with each ministration. Each stroke was designed to ruin you, each word was spoken to make your knees like jelly, and each look he casted you was filled with his love.
"C'mon, baby, look at me, talk to me," he crooned, trying to get your attention again. He gently grabbed your cheeks and turned your head to face him, his jade eyes seeking the affirmations within yours. "Look at me... I wanna see those pretty eyes of 'yers."
When you refused to look at him out of sheer embarrassment from the moans & whimpers you let out, he grabbed your chin with his hand and forced you to look at him. "Look at me, angel, look at me while I fuck you like this."
"I'm l-looking- I'm looking!!"
"Good... god, angel do you know how fucking gorgeous you look right now? All vulnerable and splayed out for ol' Toji here? God, it's been ages since I've had pussy like this--I didn't even know it could feel so fucking good!" he exclaimed, a light snarl making its way out of his mouth.
"Never had dick like yours, d-daddy!" you squealed, somehow still able to talk, even after the man just started making your insides mush.
'Daddy?' he asked himself. Did you really just call him daddy?
"W-What was that?" he asked, his eyes blown wide from the term.
"I said... fuck~ I've never had dick like yours, daddy!!" you said with more vigor. "Never had such a long, g-girthy dick like yours--it's so fucking incredible, I'm drooling n' making such a big fucking mess on this bed!!"
He felt something snap inside of him when you called him daddy for the second time. It was like the tightrope that he was walking on snapped finally, and all the pent-up frustration and lust inside of him was going haywire.
"Daddy? Daddy?" he repeated, this time in a mocking tone of voice. "Oh, ohhh, so I'm your daddy now, huh?" the sudden change of demeanor made your belly churn in equal parts fear & excitement. You could see the beast inside of him slowly coming out, his green eyes becoming a jaded, darker color. "Answer me, you slut: am I your daddy? Yes or no!" he slapped the inside of your thigh harshly, making you yelp in pain.
"Yeah, y-you're m'daddy-"
"That's more like it, that's what I wanna hear. I bet you have a nice, big kink for letting older men like me have their way with you, fucking your brains out n' stuffing you like a creampie--or am I the only one who's churned you like butter?" with each thrust, each question posed, he let out another snarl, almost like a feral wolf in heat.
"Oh, I am sooo gonna destroy you now, you little slut. I mean, just look at the way you're lookin' at me right now, I bet you wore that slutty lil' lingerie set of yours earlier so you could get the ever-loving shit fucked out of you, huh? Huh?" he slapped your thigh again & again, his large red hand leaving a print on the fat. "Answer me when I ask you questions!!"
"Y-Yes!" you admitted finally, "I wore that lingerie set so I could get the shit... fucked out of me!! God, I've been waiting for this day for ages, the day when I'd finally find someone who could ruin me!!"
He let out a dark laugh, stuffing two fingers down your throat & making you gag. "You fucking whore, you're a fucking whore, aren't ya? A whore for big dicks, eh? I bet I've already turned you into my whore, haven't I, angel?"
You nodded while gagging on his fingers, the tears of pleasure and pain falling down your cheeks. Here you were, getting completely slutted out, drilled into this mattress by a guy who was 10 years your senior, and you were in heaven. You had no idea that meeting up with someone you met online could lead to the most mind-numbing, toe-curling sex imaginable, but you were so fucking glad to have taken the leap.
"Enough talking from you, whore," he sneered, adding a third finger to your mouth & making you drool. "I'm gonna show you how good it feels to be turned into a fleshlight."
By the time the words registered inside of your head, you were already long gone. The combination of his fingers down your throat, the dirty degradation & praise he was spewing into your ear, and the feeling of his cock piercing your spongy spot relentlessly made your mind break, and you were only one round in. With Toji's endless, stallion-like stamina, you were no doubt gonna be fucked in all sorts of positions & ways.
A week ago, you wouldn't have recognized the girl who you'd been turned into. You probably would've been embarrassed of yourself at that. But any girl or guy would've been jealous of you if they saw how good the pipe was.
"Fuck~! Fuck~! Fuck~!" was all that you were able to say as the man demolished you (with your approval, of course). You'd never cum so fast in your life, but you could feel that familiar bubble building up in you--only it was a good 10 times more intense than the last time you had sex with a guy. Maybe it was the deep dish dick that he gave you, or maybe it was the insane chemistry that you and him had, but it was coming to you like a freight train.
He could feel your tight little anus clenching down on his cock repeatedly, and he knew that you were gonna cum quickly. "Awww, is my lil' angel gonna cum?" he asked mockingly, to which you nodded. "I shouldn't even let ya cum after seeing how much of a whore you are, but you've been sooo good to my dick that I just have to reward you."
He leaned down to kiss the side of your face & whispered: "go ahead, princess, cum for me. Cum on daddy's dick, n' I'll stuff ya full of his seed." He even rubbed your cock just so you could cum sooner.
And just like that, you came all over yourself & his hand. It was a pretty sight to see, the milky white fluid shooting out of your tip like an uncontrollable, unstable geyser, and you couldn't stop the "Toji~!"s and "daddy~!"s from leaving your lips--not that either of you wanted that to stop.
Toji just chuckled & watched you ride out your orgasm on his dick. "Fuck... just look at you, baby, you're a work of art. If we weren't strangers, I woulda snapped a pic o' this view and made it my lockscreen, but we aren't there yet?"
As you came down from your high, you looked at him hazily in confusion. "Wha...? Whaddya mean?"
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I'm keeping ya around, pet. What, you thought that this was some one-time, one-night stand?" he scoffed, shaking his head.
"I'm not letting go of your sweet ass until my hands can't physically do so anymore."
Toji promptly fucked you in every single position imaginable, orgasm after orgasm spewing from the tip of your overstimulated penis. Missionary, doggy, cowgirl, spooning, reverse cowgirl, the spread-eagle--the mating press was your personal favorite because you got to feel every ounce of that man on top of you.
By the time you were able to register what was happening, you'd already came... however many times you came, and you were currently getting pistoned into in the full nelson. He had your ankles next to your head, your soft, squishy body propped up against his shredded & muscular frame, and his huge cock lodged deep inside of you.
"Fuck... fuck... fuck," he panted, still thrusting after all this time. "You can take another load, right, doll? Well, it don't matter anyway; you're taking my seed until my balls empty out."
"Toji... p-please," you whimpered, so overstimulated that you could barely keep conscious. "Had enough..."
"Oh, you can take another. You're a big girl, right?" he patted your thigh mockingly and went back to holding your ankle up, making sure that you were at his mercy. "So overstuffed you might just burst, hm?" he cooed, kissing next to your ear. "I just love making pretty girls like you into total sluts."
You went back to lolling your head to the side, your jaw open as the moans escaped your lips.
"Fuck... think 'm gonna-" before he could finish that sentence, he dumped yet another thick & heavy load into your hole. You let out a weak whimper and curled your toes, the feeling stimulating you yet again. Your eye trailed over to him when you realized that he wasn't thrusting anymore, and you could see that he was panting heavily.
"Toji...?"
"I think I've dumped every ounce of seed into ya, doll," he chuckled breathlessly, throwing his head back in victory. "N' you managed to do it without tapping out, too. I'm proud of ya for taking all of this--most girls can't even manage a fourth round before tapping out."
You didn't say anything, instead falling back onto his body weakly. "So tired," you mumbled against his meaty pec.
"I know you are," he crooned, running a hand through your hair and smiling at your fucked-out form. "You really took it all like a champ, angel. I'm truly proud of you."
Taking all of his pipe & his seed should've earn you a trophy.
"Thankyou," you slurred, still resting your head on his chest. "Think I'm gonna... rest here for a little while."
"Me, too, doll," he sighed, stretching his arm out to wrap around your shoulders. He leaned in, pressing a few kisses to your sweaty forehead, looking at you with every ounce of love he had in his body. "You know I didn't mean any of that shit about you being a slut, right?"
"Mm..."
"That's how I get when I'm caught up in the moment," he chuckled, now nuzzling his lips there. "You're just the most beautiful girl in the world," he remarked, still gazing at you fondly. "It's a wonder you're still available. Then again, not many can handle a girl like you, can they?"
You were slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms, the love hotel's bed surprisingly comfy for your weak form. "Hey... you're not gonna... run off in the morning, right? Like all the rest?"
"Are you kiddin' me?" he scoffed, the notion of him being a guy like that ridiculous to him. "I'm not an asshole, doll. I've got the most beautiful girl in the world resting in my arms. Ain't no way I'm gonna make the mistake of letting you go so quickly, no ma'am. When I meant I wasn't gonna leave you alone, I meant it."
By then, he realized that you had fallen asleep, and he gave you a soft smile. "So fuckin' pretty when you're relaxed, doll..." he whispered, pressing more soft kisses to your forehead. He moved his arm from your shoulder to your waist and was now cradling your petite frame to his burly one.
"You're not like the others on that website, are you?" he asked both you and himself. "You're an angel amongst men... you don't belong there. You deserve the world, n' I hope you'll let me give it to you. Hell, I hope I can even give you what you deserve." He, too, felt a little weary, but he stayed awake just to watch your sleeping form.
"You deserve heaven, angel."
I'M PART OF THE SOFT!TOJI AGENDA!!! I wanted to give the reader a comforting ending, just in case someone was stuck in a bad situation w/ an asshole 🥹 I also kinda went overboard on the smut but I made the ending as fluffy as possible! I'm not proofreading this btw.
© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 7/2/2024
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not sure if you take smut request.... but tyong with breeding kink.......pls,, I'm down bad after seeing his gym igstory
Pairing: Taeyong x Reader
Genre: smut, fluff in the end
Word Count: 1.1k
Summary: To fulfill your wish to get pregnant with no husband in sight, your friend Taeyong steps in. But he gets way too carried away - by the act and his feelings for you.
A/N: I know exactly what you mean, that video lives in my head rent free 😩 I hope you like it 💗
“So… how do you want it?��
You looked into your friend’s eyes, equally clueless. If there was a position that would guarantee a pregnancy, then you hadn’t read about anything that was science-based - and you had done years of research on this topic.
For example, you knew that the biologically best age for women to get children was between 20 and 30. That was a science-based fact, and it was an ID card based fact that you were nearing the third decade of your young life already - with no man by your side, but the deep desire to raise an own child ever since you had graduated.
“Let’s just take off our clothes first.”
Taeyong did as he had been told, and you followed. You were asking yourself whether you should turn on some music since it was absolutely silent in your bedroom, only the rustling of your clothes that you dropped on the floor generating a noise, but not enough to drive away the awkwardness that had settled between the two of you the moment you had settled on your bed.
When Taeyong was in front of you with no piece of clothing anymore, you could sense the blush that had crept up his cheeks, and his cuteness almost made you chuckle, lifting the mood. But as your eyes fell onto his lap, the urge to laugh stopped in your throat and you swallowed a gasp. He didn’t seem to notice though.
Taeyong was one of your oldest friends, and you only knew him as a very cute, soft-spoken and rather shy guy, spending his time playing video games, working and cooking. Out of all your friends, he had been your best and safest choice. On top of that, he was insanely attractive. Oddly, you wondered whether he even knew that himself.
You motioned backwards and laid yourself onto the mattress, urging him, “Come.”
It took Taeyong a few breathers to comply, and for a moment, you feared that he might have changed his mind. When you had asked him drunkenly a few weeks ago whether he would be up for something like this and he immediately agreed, you had blamed the alcohol since he could never say no. But here he was, all in for the game.
The warmth of his body covered yours when he settled on top of you, and your eyes met. You saw insecurity reflected in his gaze, and he lowered his head in an attempt to kiss you as though following an instinct, but stopped right before touching your lips. You agreed, this wasn’t part of the plan.
Kisses were reserved for two lovers. This was merely an arrangement.
Taeyong propped his elbows against the mattress to the left and right of your head, and you slung your arms around his neck. His skin felt so soft against yours, and you caught yourself not shivering anymore due to his inner heat. You had often had body contact as friends, but none as intimate as this.
“Spread your legs,” he suddenly said, pulling you out of your thoughts.
But he didn’t wait for you. With the help of his own knees, he pried your thighs open to a wideness good enough for him, and you didn’t know what caused this sudden horniness, his this bold move alone made you so wet already, he wouldn’t need much effort pushing in.
You hadn’t been with a man in so long, you had totally forgotten what it felt like to be entirely filled out by one, but Taeyong knocked your memory right back in in a way you had never experienced before. Only him entering you in a deliberate manner turned you on so much, you couldn’t hold back a long moan.
“Everything okay?” he asked when he was fully sheathed inside of you. “If you don’t like something, just tell me.”
You shook your head. “Everything is fine. Everything is so good.”
The latter part of your answer let a cocky smile grow on his lips that you only spied when he had won a game. You wondered whether he smiled like that too when you fueled his stroking game with more moans - but only if it was good.
Shortly later, you were sure of three things: First, your friend wasn’t as shy in bed as he usually appeared to be. Second, he was a pro in the stroking game. And third… What was it again? You had entirely forgotten about the third point when you were holding onto the headboard like a lifeline, Taeyong not only making sure that you went out pregnant, but also sore as fuck.
The wooden frame was squeaking under you with such despair when Taeyong mercilessly rammed into you, you didn’t know who screamed louder, the bed or you. You had assumed that you would do it only in one position until he was finished, but he had had entire other plans.
You didn’t know for how long you had been cuming and cuming, but it just wouldn’t stop, and he still stood as strong as in the beginning, having fucked you from four different positions already - and there was no end in sight. You also didn’t complain though as you hadn’t had that much fun in bed in a long time already, enjoying every aspect of it.
When Taeyong’s body strained under you though, his hands pressing into your thighs after you had ridden him for a while, you smirked at him in the same cocky manner he had kept smirking whenever he had made you cum.
He spilled his seeds all inside of you, and only then you remembered again why you were even doing this in the first place, a certain sadness settling within you when you realized that it was over. But you didn’t admit it.
Moments later, you were lying side by side with a certain gap between you, nobody saying a word, nobody making a move.
It was Taeyong who spoke first. “I’m sorry… I just kind of got… carried away.”
“It’s okay,” you replied hoarsely. “I… enjoyed it.”
You turned your head to your left, then above just to find him already looking at you. Somehow, the awkwardness had entirely vanished, having made place for fondness and a mutual understanding.
“You know,” he then continued, “it’s not certain that it will actually work the first time.”
You nodded. “I know.”
“So… when do you want to do it again? Tomorrow, I’m free.”
Taeyong moved his head a bit, lowering it to your level, but stopped right in front of your lips again. He was awaiting your answer before deciding whether he would do the following or not.
But you had decided already.
“Tomorrow sounds good,” you whispered.
Then, he kissed you - although kisses were reserved for lovers.
#taeyong#lee taeyong#taeyong imagines#taeyong scenarios#taeyong smut#taeyong x you#taeyong x reader#nct#nct 127#nct smut#nct scenarios#nct x you#nct x reader#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 scenarios#nct 127 smut#nct 127 x you#nct 127 x reader#requests
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You belong to me - part 4.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader
Summary: It's a surprise 😉🤫
Warnings/Tags: 18+ minors dni! Cheating, angst, hurt & comfort, smut, mentions of stalking and pregnancy (let me know if I missed something)
An: Hi, you guys! I guess I'm not new to writing anymore, but I'm still a newbie. All feedback is welcome. Be gentle please haha. Please do not steal or copy my work. Don’t repost without credit. This is my written work, everything besides the characters and plot points by the original writers, belongs to me. Love you guys, and thank you so much for the support, hope you enjoy ❤
Word Count: 6,306
It's been exactly four weeks and two days since you last spoke to Eddie. Ever since that day you saw him and Chrissy together, you vowed to never let him hurt you again. It was tough going to school and dealing with all the rumors swirling around you, Eddie, and Chrissy.
Most people had called you a slut, others said Eddie was the slut who had corrupted you in some way and a few people said it was a hoax, unwilling to believe that Eddie The Freak Munson was able to date two women at once. You ignored the rumors, choosing to focus on your schoolwork so you could graduate and get the hell out of this town.
Clara was there beside you through it all and helped you brave the storm. You were forever grateful for her friendship, people like her are hard to come by and should always be cherished. You vowed to repay her as soon as you got the chance.
Eddie had tried his best to talk to you afterward. He had tried everything from following you around at school, showing up at your house, and calling you every night but you shot him down every time. The blinders were off and you wouldn't allow yourself to be fooled by him any longer.
You still loved Eddie but not enough to sacrifice your happiness. You vowed that you would never do that after witnessing the destruction of your parent's marriage. Your mother had spent many nights crying herself to sleep and now was a shell of who she used to be, throwing herself into her work to avoid her harsh reality.
They say that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree because here you were, on your way to your new job at Family Video. You'd had the great idea to get a job to help keep you preoccupied. You've been working there for officially two weeks now and you loved it. It's a laid-back job with decent pay plus your co-workers were awesome.
You pull into the parking lot and park your car. As you make your way into the store the hairs on the back of your neck began to stand on end. You stop in your tracks as you look around the lot cautiously, heading into the store when you don't see anything strange. For the past few weeks, you kept having the strangest feeling that you were being followed. With Hawkins being notorious for people going missing and all of the strange occurrences, it was always best to be on guard in a town like this one.
"Hi, Y/n," your coworkers Robin and Steve echoed in union.
You raised a brow at them as you entered the store and went behind the sales desk. "Oookay, that wasn't creepy at all," you laughed as you placed your bag under the counter.
"What do you mean," they both asked in confusion.
"Okay, seriously guys, this is weird," you stated, getting slightly creeped out. With the weird feeling of eyes watching you at random times of the day, it didn't take much to put you on edge nowadays.
"Sorry Y/n, it was Steve's idea," Robin laughed, hugging you.
"Hey, not true! Don't believe her Y/n," he tells you as he hugs you as well. The bell on the door chimes, signaling the arrival of a customer as you are wrapped up in his arms.
You turn your head to see Eddie headed your way with his eyes trained on you. Steve lets you go to help Eddie as he places his items on the counter. His eyes are dark, nearly the color of coals as he glares at Steve.
"Harrington," he sniffs before turning to Robin with a bright smile. "Hey Robbie," he grins.
"Munson, if you call me that name one more time, I'm going to jam your precious guitar up your ass!"
Eddie throws his hands up in mock surrender "Yes ma'am," he replies jokingly. His gaze finally settles on yours "Hello Y/n," he whispers, his eyes soft and shining with emotion.
"Hi, Eddie." Your voice is monotone and your expression is indifferent, a severe contrast to the emotions raging inside of you.
Sensing the awkward atmosphere between you two, Steve steps in and picks up the movies Eddie placed on the counter. He taps a few keys onto the register and scans the barcode on the back of the tapes. "Alright Munson, it says here that you have an overdue late fee of $6.18 on your account. Would you like to make a payment today?"
Eddie begrudgingly looks away from you and turns toward Steve. He digs into the pocket of his jeans, pulls out a wrinkled ten-dollar bill, and hands it to Steve. Unable to stand the tension building, you busy yourself by going over to the romance section to organize the shelf.
Minutes go by, and you hear the soft footsteps of someone walking up behind you. You look over to find Eddie standing there with his hands shoved into the pockets of his well-worn jeans. You stand up and move to leave before he stops you.
"Wait Y/n, can we talk? Please!" he begs, his hands stretched out towards you blocking your exit.
You sigh deeply and shake your head, feeling your resolve break. "You have a minute," you relent, crossing your arms as you wait.
"Baby, what happened before," he begins, as he takes a step towards you. You take a step back, holding your hand up between you two.
"Sorry," he mutters sadly before continuing. "What you saw with me and Chrissy, it wasn't what it looked like. I was about to tell her that it was over between her and me when she —," he trailed off unable to continue. He couldn't tell you about the upside down. It could put you in danger and that was something he refused to allow to happen.
You lifted a brow expectantly as you waited for him to continue. Your patience was starting to wane thin.
"Um, she said that she um— that she needed me," he responded weakly. It sounded unbelievable even to his own ears. He sees your face drops back into a cold stare and his chest tightens in fear when he realizes how bad he's fucking this up right now.
"You have to believe me Y/n. It's just for a little while and this doesn't mean that I'm with her because it doesn't and I promise you she knows that." His words are rushed and awkward as he tries to convince you that his words are true.
"Times up Eddie." You turn to walk away and he grabs your hand quickly.
"Y/n wait, I'm telling the truth. I just need you to wait for me, please, at least until I sort everything out." His plea is desperate as he holds your hand close to his heart.
"Why should I Eddie? You haven't been honest with me not once this entire time! You won! You got what you wanted so just leave me the fuck alone." Your voice rises out of anger, causing Robin and Steve to throw concerned glances in your direction. You let out slow deep breaths as you attempt to reel your emotions back in.
Shock is evident on Eddie's face, which soon gives way to anger. If he was honest with himself he's never done well with confrontation. With his father mentally and physically abusing him throughout his childhood, he's developed a sort of defense mechanism, which makes him run away when he feels threatened. The hurt that he feels because you don't trust him makes him angry, not knowing how to properly deal with his emotions. He feels that he's been nothing but honest with you this entire time. If there was anything he left out it was for your safety, not so he could try and fuck you over.
"You know what, fuck this," Eddie grunts, as his feelings get the better of him. "You don't have to believe me." As the words leave his lips his heart breaks and regrets already spreading through him as he turns away from you, storming out of the store.
You want to call out to him, tell him that you were sorry for going off. You're not a confrontational person, so your reaction just now took you by surprise. Bile rises in your throat as you watch Eddie leave. You turn and run to the employee's lounge, slamming the door shut as you hurl your lunch into the toilet. Your fingers grip the wall tightly and you begin to dry heave once there is nothing left. Once your stomach settles you drop down onto the tiled floor, trying to catch your breath.
A few minutes go by when you hear a knock on the door. "Y/n, is everything okay?" Robin asks you from the other side.
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." Your voice sounds weak as you answer her. You rise to stand and go to wash your hands. Once you're done you splash cold water on your flushed face. 'What the fuck.' You wonder as you gaze at your reflection in the mirror. Was this whole situation so stressful that it was making you sick? Or was it the thought of things finally being over with Eddie that made you ill?
You honestly didn't know but you refused to dwell over it any longer. Taking a deep breath you opened the door with a fake smile plastered on your face.
"You okay," Robin asks when you appear back at the counter.
"No, but I will be," you reply with a strained smile but you're not convinced you will be.
Steve takes in your appearance noting how squeamish you look, a stark contrast to how you were when you first arrived. "Hey Y/n, if you're not feeling well you can leave early if you want. I think Robbie and I can manage," he says earning a smack on the back of his head from Robin.
"Yeah, I think that's for the best," you say, laughing in response to their antics. You begin to pack up your things and give them both a hug before making your departure.
The fresh air of the evening does little to settle your stomach and the nagging thought of something you had forgotten in the back of your mind. You make a pit stop at the local mart, unaware of the eyes watching your every step.
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You sat on your bed with Clara, your fingers gripping the unopened pink box tightly. She listened intently as you told her the events of what happened a few days ago with Eddie. Her features shift with each detail you relay. Shock settles over her face once you end with the purchase you had made due to the absence of your period.
"Why haven't you taken it yet," she questions as she clasped your hand in yours. You blinked your eyes, trying desperately to stave off the tears threatening to escape.
"I'm scared," you admitted. "If I take this test, then it becomes real and then I'll have no choice but to deal with it." Your hands shake nervously, causing the box to fall onto the floor.
Clara bent down and picked up the box, pressing it back into your hands. "Y/n, this isn't something you can ignore. The longer you put it off the fewer options you'll have."
"I know, but what if it's positive? Things between Eddie and me are horrible right now. A baby will only complicate things even more." A few tears skip down your cheeks as your emotions began to overwhelm you.
"Whatever happens I'll be here for you okay? I'll even beat Eddie up for you if you want," she says, pulling you into a tight hug.
You laugh along with her as you hug her back. "I'll keep that in mind," you snicker as you get up from the bed, making your way into the bathroom. You close the door behind you and lean up against it. You take calming breaths as you read the instructions on the back of the box.
'Okay, remove cap and place tip into urine stream for five seconds. Replace cap, lay it flat, and wait for results, should be ready within five minutes. Seems easy enough,' you thought silently.
You will your hands to stop shaking as you unwrap the package and begin to follow the instructions listed on the box. Once finished you lay the test flat on the counter and began to wait. The seconds ticked by agonizingly slow and you become all too aware of the silence in the bathroom. The walls felt as if they were closing in on you with each minute that passed.
Your timer beeps on your watch, signaling that the test result was ready. Turning back towards the counter you eye the test warily. You could feel a trickle of sweat running along your spine as you start to perspire. 'This is crazy. Just pick it up and read it. It's not a big deal, it's not like this is going to change your life from this point in every single way.'
Exasperated, you sink down onto the edge of the tub. "Clara" you called out through the closed door.
"Yes!" She replied immediately, busting through the door.
You gesture towards the test on the counter. "I can't look," you said softly, letting your head fall into your hands. You stare at the patterns on the tile floor as you listen to her pick up the test.
A soft gasp fell from her lips making your blood run cold. "It's positive," she murmurs as she crouches down in front of you.
"Of course it's positive, I've never failed a test before. Guess I'm not going to start now huh." You laugh bitterly, shaking your head in disbelief.
"Y/n, it's going to be okay. Whatever you decide to do, it's going to be okay." She laid her hand on yours as you sat there in silence. "Are you going to tell Eddie," she asked.
"I don't know if I should. I mean, what would even be the point of that anyways? I don't want a pity relationship because he made the mistake of knocking me up." Your words come out heated and rushed as your anger washes over you.
"He deserves to know Y/n. Don't keep it from him because you're scared of what his response may be. You never know, maybe he'll step up, maybe he won't but you'll never know if you don't give him a chance." Clara's voice was firm and sure as she held your gaze.
"You're right, I'll tell him," you huff out a moment later.
She gives you a small smile before standing up and pulling you up along with her. "Fuck! Squatting like that made my legs hurt," she complained trying to shake the pins and needles feeling out of her legs. "I guess I'm getting too old for that now. Welp, no more blowjobs for Steve then," she jokes, crouching over and holding her back dramatically.
"Yeah right, I'll believe that when pigs fly," you laugh snorting obnoxiously as you follow her back into your room.
"You calling me a slut," Clara growls, her hand inching towards the pillows on your bed.
"Uh yeah. You and Steve are biggest the horndogs I've ever met," you retort grinning cheekily.
"You're gonna regret that Y/l/n," she yells, smacking you in the face with a pillow. You stand there for a moment in shock before springing into action, grabbing a pillow for your counterattack. Peels of laughter sound off in the room along with thumps from the pillow fight, giving you a welcome reprieve from the tough decisions sure to come.
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Eddie sat perched atop his throne in the old theatre room, which was also their meeting place for all of their D&D campaigns. Drumming his fingers against the chipped wooden table, his patience began to wear thin as he waited for everyone to sit down and get situated. After a minute had passed, everyone was still talking animatedly to each other.
"Can we hurry this along please!" he yelled out, causing the room to go silent as all eyes snapped onto him. "Thank you," he said once he had everyone's attention. He had called an emergency meeting weeks ago as soon as Chrissy had told him her dreams had returned. Due to conflicts of schedule and the matter of long distance for some, it had taken a while to get everyone back together again.
"What's going on Eddie? Why are we all here," asked Dustin.
"Vecna's back," Eddie replied somberly, getting straight to the point. A few gasps of panic flew across the room at his announcement.
"Are you sure? I mean— how do you know, what happened?" Nancy questioned, her eyes flickering with concern.
Eddie began to explain what Chrissy had told him that day, omitting the part with you in it. He didn't need everyone to know about his relationship with you when he was still trying to fix the damage he'd caused.
"So why isn't she here if she's so scared that he's after her?" Max's voice was low and her expression held a look of skepticism. Something about this situation seemed off to her but she didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet.
"She had cheerleading practice," Eddie replied rubbing a hand across his face tiredly. Between Chrissy hanging onto him like a leech every chance she got and you avoiding him like a leper, he felt as if he was losing his mind. He hadn't had a proper sleep in weeks and it was beginning to show. His eyes were dull, sporting dark heavy-looking bags underneath each one.
Murmurs echo around the room at his response. "I'm sorry man but I call bullshit. I've seen Chrissy around town and she didn't look scared to me," said Steve.
"Why would she lie then huh? If you have an idea, then by all means please share it because I don't have a clue!" Eddies hands grip the arms of his chair as he struggles to regain control over his emotions.
"Are you okay Eddie?" Robin asked. She had never seen Eddie like this before and it was starting to scare her a little. After witnessing the scene between Eddie and you, she had the sinking feeling that this all had something to do with one another.
"Yeah— I'm fine, just a little tired is all. Now, can we please get back to the matter at hand?" Eddie hated being so dismissive toward his friend but he wanted to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible.
"Well, I haven't felt anything from him. Honestly, I thought he was dead. I haven't felt this peaceful in a long time," Will replied in a soft voice.
"Me too," Max confirmed as others began to echo in agreeance.
"I think that settles it, dude. It sounds like Chrissy lied to you," Dustin said softly so only Eddie could hear him.
"I think you're right and I'm going to find out why." Eddies features were stony and everyone could see the shift in his demeanor. He adjourned the meeting, thanking everyone for coming and apologizing on Chrissy's behalf.
Before he left the room he tapped Robin on the shoulder, pulling her from her conversation with Steve. "Hey, I just wanted to apologize about earlier. I haven't been—, he started but Robin cut him off with a wave of her hand.
"Don't worry about it. There are no hard feelings okay? Just go handle whatever it is you need to with Chrissy. To be honest Eddie, I never liked her anyways," she tells him with a smirk.
Eddie gives her a quick hug before taking his leave. He was on a mission as he made his way hastily to the gym, determined to catch Chrissy before she left. He wanted an explanation as to why she had lied and he wasn't going to leave until she gave him one.
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Chrissy's friend Alice stood to the side of the bleachers anxiously. The loud voices of Chrissy and Eddie rang out sharply throughout the gym. Standing in the shadows, she wasn't trying to be seen until the time was right.
The words lying bitch could be heard clearly throughout the room followed by a resounding slap. Chrissy stormed by quickly tears streaming down her face. She passed by quickly, not seeing Alice standing in the corner. Once the double doors had closed, Alice stepped from behind the bleachers into the light. Eddie stood close by with his head hanging down, his hair hiding his face. She cleared her throat lightly, gaining Eddie's attention immediately.
"Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me!" He yelped, holding a hand over his chest. His heartbeat was erratic as he took a deep breath to calm down before he had a premature death. "What do you want," he asked warily after he had regained control of his breathing. He knew you only through Chrissy and had never spoken to you alone before. If he was a betting man, he would bet that Chrissy didn't know you were here, especially right after the fight they'd just had.
"Chrissy doesn't know that I'm here," she said confirming his suspicions as she looked over her shoulder cautiously. Eddie nodded in response and she continued, wanting to get this over as soon as possible. She didn’t want Chrissy to find out about what she was about to do.
"Chrissy's been lying to you, Eddie. She's been seeing Jason behind your back the entire time you two were together," she whispered.
When Chrissy told her that she and Eddie didn't have sex, she was in disbelief. The reason why became even more obvious when she caught them hooking up in Jason's car during school once. Jason had later told her with a smug look on his face that he and Chrissy had always maintained a sexual relationship even after she had gotten with 'The Freak'.
When she confronted Chrissy, she only shrugged with a coy smile, "I get what I need from Jason and Eddie, what's the big deal?"
Alice had told her that it wasn't right but Chrissy didn't want to listen to reason, only warning her to stay out of it before flouncing away, her ponytail bouncing perkily behind her.
"Wow, I mean what the fuck. I know I have no room to talk but for her to pretend to be so innocent when she's just as bad is fucking insane." Eddie's eyes were big as he ran his hands through his hair.
He had tried before to initiate a sexual relationship with Chrissy but she had told him she wanted to wait until marriage. He had accepted her decision, not wanting to pressure her into something she didn't want but he couldn't deny that the thought of why things were the way they were didn't cross his mind at times. Boys tended to talk and he knew that she wasn't a virgin because of Jason, so the new information just revealed to him, answered the questions he's had for a long time.
"Thanks for telling me," he said finally, looking over to Clara. "I know that couldn't have been easy."
"You're welcome, Eddie. I know I can be a bitch sometimes but I like to think that I'm still a good person," she said as she began to walk away. Before reaching the doors, she turned around to look over her shoulder at him. "Eddie be careful with Chrissy. She's not the same anymore and I'm afraid of what she may do if things don't go her way."
He nodded in response and watched as she walked through the doors, her ominous warning of Chrissy repeating over and over in his head.
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You're lost in your thoughts as you walk along the crowded hallways. You had spent the entire weekend trying to figure out how to tell Eddie you were pregnant. The last time you talked, it ended horribly and you were kinda ashamed to have to approach him again so soon. You were sure that after how you treated him, he didn't want to speak to you again.
As you neared your classroom a hand snatched you into a nearby closet, closing the door briskly behind you. "What the hell," you shrieked before a hand clasped over your mouth keeping you silent.
"Shhh Y/n, it's just me," Eddie whispered as he clicked on the overhead light.
You snatch his hand from your mouth, looking upward at him. "I knew that Eddie. You are literally the only person who snatches me into closets at random."
"Yeah, you're right," he says laughing awkwardly. He rubs the back of his neck as he takes a moment to look at you. It feels as if he hasn't gotten a chance to really look at you in forever. His heart flutters nervously as you stare back into his eyes. The speech he had prepared, long forgotten at the sight of you.
You were also experiencing something similar as you began to malfunction at being in such close proximity with Eddie. An apology sits at the top of your tongue for the way you treated him before but you quickly swallow it back down as quickly as it comes. "What do you want," you question once you finally begin to settle from the mental Olympics your mind is going through.
"I wanted to talk to you. I know that our last conversation didn't end well and I want to apologize to you." He takes a deep breath in an attempt to settle his nerves before continuing.
"I let my emotions get the best of me and I reacted poorly. I know that you're probably getting tired of me apologizing and I promise to do better— I want to be better for you. Whenever I'm with you, I feel better about myself. Even though we haven't had the chance to be together, I'm sure of how I feel about you. You don't have to worry about me and Chrissy anymore because I've handled that situation and it's completely over, I promise you. So please Y/n, please take a chance on me and I promise I won't let you down again ever." His eyes are big and wet as he looks down at you pleadingly.
You lean back up against the door as you consider his words. The fierceness in his eyes is endearing, making you want to believe him this time, but there is still a nagging thought in the back of your mind. You still feel that there is something that Eddie isn't telling you. Until you know the real reason he broke his promise and chose to stay with Chrissy, you can't forgive him just yet. "I want to trust you Eddie but for me to do that, you have to be completely honest with me. I don't want to start a relationship on a half-truth."
Something akin to fear flashes across Eddie's face before disappearing quickly. His features relax again as he takes your hands into his hesitantly, pulling you in closer. "Y/n— there's a lot of things that's happened in Hawkins in the past couple of years. A lot of things have been kept from the public for safety reasons," he pauses to make sure that you are still following him. "I'll tell you everything but I need you to keep an open mind okay? I know that what I tell you may be hard to believe but just trust me okay?"
You nod your head slowly as your heart begins to race. You're not sure what it is he is about to tell you but you have the feeling that it will change everything moving forward. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, the tardy bell rings announcing that you both are late for class.
"Fuck! Can you follow me to my house after school?" He says hopefully, resting his hand on the doorknob behind you.
"Yeah," you reply breathlessly as he leans in closer to you, resting his forehead against yours. Your eyes flutter close as his nose brushes against yours, his breath is warm as it fans across your face pleasantly.
The sound of the second bell rings and the moment is gone. Disappointment is clear on both of your faces as he pulls back, giving you room to move away from the door. "Later?" His eyes are bright, filled with hope and longing.
"Later," you smile squeezing his hand gently before slipping through the door. Eddie waits a second before taking his leave as well. His smile is big and wide as he walks into class, even after his teacher tears him a new one for being late once again, his smile never fades.
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You rush out of class once the final bell rings and you head to the parking lot, eager to meet Eddie as planned. After you have your talk with Eddie, you'll have to go straight to work, so you're grateful that you were able to get the car from your mom this morning. You spot Eddie in the crowded lot once you make it to your car. He gives you an excited wave and you wave back with a shy smile.
You both enter your cars and you began to follow him as he leaves the school. As you're driving out of the lot you pass by Chrissy standing near her car. She stares at you with a blank expression as you pass by. Your eyes meet and you hold her gaze before looking away to safely follow the traffic.
"Crazy bitch," you mutter under your breath. You shake it off mentally, you refuse to let her ruin the good mood you were in. You're anxious about what Eddie is going to tell you. Optimism is flowing through you and you can feel your walls lowering for what could be. You hope that he'll be receptive to the news you have for him as well.
Your hands begin to shake as your mind wanders at what his reaction will be. You had planned on telling him today but you're not sure you'll have time after he reveals whatever the secret is he's been holding in.
Before you know it you are pulling into the trailer park behind Eddie. You follow closely as he passes by several trailers before pulling into what you assumed was his home. You park behind him and get out of your car.
Eddie walks over to you with a smile, taking your hand into his, and leads you up the steps. As you both enter his home you notice the trailer is a little on the small side but has a homey feel to it that you find charming.
"Welcome to my humble abode," Eddie says bowing at the waist as you walk into his room. You giggle in response as you sidestep some articles of clothing and stand awkwardly beside his bed. His room is for the most part clean, albeit a little disorganized.
You're not sure if you should sit or stand so you choose to wait for him to tell you what to do. You act as if you're strangers as if Eddie hasn't been inside of you and made you cum in almost every way.
Eddie closes his door, kicking off his shoes. "Make yourself comfortable sweetheart, mi casa su casa." He takes a seat next to you on his bed and takes your hand into his.
"I'm so happy you agreed to listen to what I have to say. I was afraid that you would never talk to me again after last time," he says honestly. He feels happy but also nervous for what he is about to expose you to. He knows that everyone will be pissed at him for getting you involved but he could care less. At this point he would do anything to get you back, he would even travel through Mordor unarmed for you.
"Me too Eddie," you reply sweetly. Your heart skips a beat as he presses a kiss to your knuckles. "Eddie, before you begin, I just want to say I'm sorry for how I acted the last time we spoke. It wasn't unnecessary and I said some things that I didn't mean." Your head drops down and you look at your lap, unable to meet his gaze.
He lifts your chin with his ringed finger. "I already forgave you, baby. There's nothing to apologize for," he whispers against your hand still pressed to his lips. You smile as a heated flush creeps up your neck and settles on your face.
Eddie smiles at your response before he begins "As I said before sweetheart, what I'm going to tell you may be hard to believe but just know that everything I say is the truth." He licks his lips as he prepares to tell you the truth about Hawkins.
His eyes are wide, filled with warmth that eases any doubts you may have had before. You nod your head and you listen intently as he begins to tell you a tale so bizarre that it sounds like it's straight from a movie scene.
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You wave goodbye to Robin and Steve as you walk across the dark parking lot toward your car. Your mind races as you fumble with your keys to unlock the car. Hours have passed since your conversation with Eddie but you're still in shock.
The story he had told you felt too bizarre to be true. But when you sat back and thought about all of the strange occurrences that's happened, his explanation was more reasonable than what the media had portrayed. You were correct before when you thought that you wouldn't have time to tell him your truth. He had taken hours to go over everything with you and by the time he was done you were late for work.
You promised that you wouldn't tell anyone about what he had revealed to you, including Steve and Robin. He wanted to keep everyone oblivious to the fact that you knew everything, for now. You smiled to yourself, the way he worried over your safety made your heart clench in happiness and hope that he would be open to what you had to tell him.
A noise startles you from behind and you drop your keys in fear. You were on edge and every little sound was making you jump. Bending down you scoop up your keys swiftly, fear pumping through you as you slot your keys in the lock. You climb into your car swiftly, slamming the door behind you.
Your heart is pounding as you look behind you out of your car windows. For a moment there you could've sworn that you heard footsteps behind you. Taking a deep breath you start your car and head back to Eddie's house. He had invited you back to his house after work once you told him that you had something important to tell him as well. Your mom was out of town visiting family and you hoped that if things ended well, you could spend the weekend with Eddie.
So wrapped up in your thoughts you didn't see the car behind you until it slammed into you, causing you to swerve hazardously before regaining control.
"What the fuck," you yell in surprise. Your eyes fly to your rearview mirror and you're blinded by the harsh light reflecting from the beams.
You realize with a start that the reason you didnt notice them was that they didnt have on their lights until just now. They obviously didn't want you to notice them until it was too late. The car behind you rams into you again and you jerk forward from the impact. A cry leaves your lips as you step on the gas, you have to get away from this person before they kill you.
The other car is right on your tail as you bend the corner dangerously. Sweat coats your entire body as your adrenaline skyrockets. No matter how fast you go, the unknown assailant is right behind you.
The roads are dark and empty as you both race along the paved road. You cry in relief when you realize that you're a few minutes away from Eddie's house. No sooner than the thought enters your mind, they slam into you violently, and the wheel jerks as you lose control of the car. Your car veers off the road and your wheels screech as you skid across the pavement. A silent scream leaves your mouth as you realize that you are headed straight for the treeline.
As you brace for impact, your last thoughts are of Eddie, how you didn't get to tell him you were pregnant and that you never got the chance to tell him that you loved him. Your thoughts are filled with him as glass breaks around you with a sickening crunch and everything fades to black.
Taglist: @bibieddiesgf @tlclick73 @seventhlevelofhell @emmysuebull22 @adequate-superstar @vintagehellfire @sidthedollface2 @blue-eyed-lion @hazydespair @fly-on-the-wall @nicolaj1978 @sinczir @starrywhitenight @merciiss @hanahkatexo @kellysimagines @hargrovesswifee @simp4rengoku @igglepiggle22 @isimpforeveryonee @urdad-hot @thikkiesixx @billyhargrovesfuturewife @sammararaven @yogizzz
#eddie munson#stranger things#eddie x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie smut#eddie stranger things#stranger things smut#eddie angst#eddie munson angst#eddie my beloved#eddie x me#eddie x chrissy#eddie munson x reader smut#eddie munson x y/n#eddie x fem!reader#eddie x you#eddie munson x chrissy cunningham
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ohhhhhh my god guys I gotta give you an update but i need to explain my entire job history for the past year first cause its a little confusing uh.
so feb-may I did this internship at this real estate digital marketing firm and I was just making social media graphics there. just instagram stories and shit. and it was boring as hell but I needed to find a job cause I was graduating, and I was hoping they would hire me but they didnt have the space for a new full time employee at the time so... that was a bust.
in june and july I was applying to jobs foreverrrrr and getting nowhere so I said fuck it i need SOMETHING to hold me over, so I started working in the print department at staples as you are all well aware. at least it would be relevant enough to put on my resume cause I do want to make print graphics right? so its something.
then like 6 weeks ago my manager from the internship reached out to me and said she wanted to take me back part time after all. so for the past month and a half I've been working 2 part time jobs, one at staples and one at this marketing office doing the exact same fuckass ig stories as before. i wont lie its been exhausting and unsustainable so I was still applying for other full time design jobs cause I had no idea how long I could keep this up.
about 3 weeks ago I got an interview for one of those jobs I applied for and they explained that they were actually looking for a senior designer which obviously im not qualified for, but they liked my portfolio enough that they wanted to consider CREATING a junior designer role for me which was CRAZYYY to hear... it's a hawaiian bbq restaurant chain and I'm definitely wayyy more interested in designing for food and beverage stuff than real estate, plus a few other aspects about the job sounded really appealing to me and the interview went great so I was really hoping to get that job. but then I didn't hear back and Im so desensitized to getting ghosted after interviews i stopped getting my hopes up a long time ago.
a week and a half ago management at my real estate job told me that they were finally ready to bring me on full time, and since it didnt seem like I had any other prospects I wasnt really in a position to turn it down, so I immediately accepted and put in my 2 weeks at staples. this saturday will hopefully be the last day i ever have to work retail forever. I didnt make any announcement here when I found out because its honestly been making me depressed thinking about doing nothing but making fuckass instagram stories for ugly real estate companies 40 hours a week and people congratulating me on it would just make me more depressed. I wasn't supposed to start full time there until the monday after thanksgiving so ive still been doing my double part time grind.
but then......
whats that....???
THE HAWAIIAN BBQ RESTAURANT ENTERS WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!
after weeks of no response the hr guy finally gave me a call just now to tell me I GOT THE JOB?!??! i genuinely honestly did not think they were gonna give me an offer and was just gonna move on with my life 😭 so now im gonna have to walk into my office tomorrow morning and say SIKE!!! and theyre all gonna be so mad at meeeee but this is genuinely such a better position for me I didnt think this was gonna happen for another year at least....
tldr I thought i was gonna be stuck with a job i dont like but I ended up getting the job I want!!!!!!!!
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Little Lady Masterlist
liked by maggie.hughes, trevorzegras, _quinnhughes and 1,894 more
jackhughes you've been by my side since before we were born (i guess it's a twin thing) and i don't think i would have ever wanted it another way. when we were little and i'd have a nightmare, you'd crawl over from your bed into mine and give me the biggest hug you could muster to calm me down. when i would get a hurt, you'd pull out your little first aid kit, unicorn bandaids and all, and patch me up before mom ever got the chance. i guess it makes sense why you are graduating from nursing school today, read to help others like you did me. i could not be more proud of you mags ❤️
maggie.hughes jack i could not have asked for a better twin ❤️
jackhughes i know, i'm pretty great maggie.hughes i retract my previous statement.
liked by maggie.hughes, elhughes, canucks, and 1,206 more
_quinnhughes i'm going to be honest, i really only wanted a little brother. but the minute you were born, even at a year and a half i knew i would be looking out for you for the rest of your life. and i could not be more proud of the life i have watched, and I can't be more proud of you today as i watched you walk across that stage and get pinned as a nurse. you're an amazing kid and i'm so glad i didn't only get a brother
jackhughes uh, should i be offended?
_quinnhughes not unless you want to be.
maggie.hughes thank you for always being my best friend and giving the best hugs Q ❤️
liked by maggie.hughes, elhughes, trevorzegras, and 997 more
lhughes06 you have looked after me since you were 3. when you left for college, i cried for a week. i mean, new jersey was so far away (so is california, by the way). but you were still attending ever game you could, and texting me daily for life updates. so even though you are going away again (i hate you trevorzegras), please keep looking after me. i'll miss you.
maggie.hughes oh lukey, i'll miss you too kiddo
maggie.hughes but i'll be back to visit and you can always come to anaheim! trevorzegras to be discussed maggie.hughes trevor. trevorzegras see you in anaheim lhughes06!
liked by maggie.hughes, lhughes06, _quinnhughes, and 56 more
elhughes we both know i love the boys, but the moment i found out i was going to have a little girl i cried, and i cried, and i cried. you have been my closest friend since you were born, and the biggest help in managing four boys (yes, i'm including your father in that count). your talent, empathy, and joy light up every room you enter and i could not be prouder of everything you're doing with your life. i love you baby❤️ (this is a photo of maggie and baby luke, way back when)
maggie.hughes i learned everything i am from you momma ❤️ love you back!
liked by maggie.hughes, lhughes06, _quinnhughes, and 2,452 more
trevorzegras i have loved you since we were eighteen. now, i know we met a few years before that, but i knew i wanted to be with you forever when you got comfortable enough with me to ramble about books for 45 minutes. jack had warned me not to get you started, that you would never stop, and you always were shy about how much you read. but one night you just couldn't stop reading this book, and everyone else had already gone to bed so you turned to me and said "can i tell you about my book?" and i wanted listen to jack, but you were so shy, and looked so hopeful. so i said yes, and i couldn't be happier that i had. your nerdy rambling is one of my favorite things about you.
i love everything about you and i couldn't be happier to be able to watch you follow your dreams.
_quinnhughes you made her cry. and if it wasn't because of how much she loves you i'd kick your ass trevorzegras uh thank you?
maggie.hughes i love you to the moon and back trevorzegras i love you to saturn and back
liked by trevorzegras, elhughes, _quinnhughes, and 148 more
maggie.hughes they tell you that time flies when you're having fun, and they're not wrong. the thing is, it also flies when you're looking forward to what comes next. no matter why it flew, it did, and i have loved my time as a nursing student, sports medicine nursing assistant for the njdevils, and living down the road from my brother(s) more than anything.
and a moment of appreciation to my boy. since the season ended for the ducks, he has been on load to me from jamiedrysdale (thank you jimmy) and keeping an eye on me during finals and graduation. making sure i'm eating (while teaching himself to cook), making sure i was going to bed at a good hour, and helping me study. i love you Z with my entire heart, and i can't wait to live with you (and you jamie)
trevorzegras i love you more than i do jack lhughes06 oh wow, that's basically a proposal jackhughes Z, how dare you! i thought we were forever! maggie.hughes ... i love you too?
nicohischier beyond proud of you kid! may just have to fly out to anaheim for our movie nights from now on!
jamiedrysdale you can have him any time! it's been so quiet around here! (also, congrats! can't wait for you to officially join apartment movie nights!)
#original character#the writing of spencer rose#nhl fanfiction#trevor zegras x hughes sister#hughes sister#best friends to lovers trope#maggie hughes story#trevor zegras x oc
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真夜中のノクターン
Ritsu Sakuma x Reader
Note: OKAY an another Ritsu fic but this time, it's a songfic. Pls kill meheuheuehuehuheu
Okay lemme try writing for (!) era starting this year after writing a few fics that are in the (!!) timeline (Spoiler: Already did). Brainworms coming to rot my brain since I'm being productive af rn.
Translated lyrics here btw.
HEUEHUEHDHEUEHS anyways, why does the sakuma brothers have the most attractive voices I'm about to get an auralism atp. Herri not falling for the chara's voice challenge failed.
"(Name)? Why are you still... here...?" He yawned between his words. You just thought of the sleep expert you referred to and not even said his name.
Or so you thought when a sleepy, serene voice called you from the doorstep of the music room.
"Ritsu...? And why are you here...?" You asked him back and he answered, "I just woke up."
'Right... It's night time after all.'
He look at you with a questioning look. "I'll ask you again, what are you doing here?"
"I'm just... here to finish everything before the Repayment Fes." You tiredly answered. Ritsu looked at the stack of documents on your desk and wondering which are the ones you finished and are not. "That much? You'll lose yourself at this point, (Name)." He said and dragged you away from your seat. "I'll let you sleep on my coffin bed and rest. You're supposed to be with Knights by tomorrow."
Tired and sleepy, you yawned as the night arrived. How many paperworks have you done today? You've lost count. You could see the unfinished stack thanks to the moonlight's gentle glow entering the transparent glass from outside the window. Even though the unfinished ones seemed lesser than the ones you had done, you groaned in frustration and the deadline is a few days away— specifically a week before the said deadline.
An early passer you are seemed to be productive due to your insomnia. Oh how much you wanted to rest but the remaining energy and adrenaline is still coursing through every single fiber and cell of your being. As much as you wanted to get out of your overworking state weeks before the Repayment Fes, you couldn't.
"Ritsu... I'm almost done..." You tried to reach the desk but his strong grasp on you won't let you go. "Give me few more minutes... I'll be done after this..." Your body has not much strength remaining that you surrendered. "Fine... have it your way..." Ritsu grinned in victory.
He carried you on his back and brought you to his coffin bed in the music room. You somehow noticed that it was close to the piano in the room. You do know well that this is one of Ritsu's favorite napping place and the reason why the music room is one of his favorites it's because there's a piano. He placed you on the bed gently and remembered something he told you this afternoon.
"So, Ritsu, you said that you wanted to see me after Knight's live, right? But why bother seeing me to—" He immediatly laid on top of you and hugged you, making you cuddle with him.
"Good night."
That was the last thing you heard from him after he cuddled you and fell asleep on the coffin bed Rei made specifically for him. You on the other hand patted his head comfortably and lulled him to sleep.
He hugged you tightly as if he didn't want to let you go. His fear of being abandoned triggered in his sleep. He nuzzled closer and you could feel his warm breath fanning the crook of your neck. He is like a cat wanting your attention, from annoying you, interrupting your work, or cuddling you until he sleeps and never let you move as it's a golden rule for every cat owners known in the face of the earth— never move when a cat is on you.
Repayment fes is coming to a close and you've been overworking as usual. It's supposed to be special for the graduates of this year. It'll be the last time you'll get to see your senior in their green neck tie and their blue blazer. Especially Izumi and Leo, the only third years of Knights. Not to mention, you'll be the same as them next year, becoming a third year and graduate as a student of Yumenosaki Academy.
Ritsu knows you've been overworking a lot and it concerns him. He's grown attached to you ever since you became Knights' producer. Other than Mao, you were closest to him by bond that he's comfortable of sleeping with you near him. He felt safe ever since the first time he laid his head on you to rest.
The last thing Ritsu wanted is you abandoning him. He didn't want anyone to abandon him all alone when he needs you the most.
You could hear a faint humming, probably from Ritsu. You thought he's asleep but he is half-asleep. You felt your eyelids gettung heavier and closed tightly shut. Your breathing is light and slow. Your body finally felt rest after a few days of suffering from insomnia.
Your hand stop patting his head and he smiled. He didn't want you fainting in the middle of the day. Not to mention, he always want your blood fresh and sweet which it actually translates into "Go to sleep. You don't want to get an insomnia or die from blood loss." in Ritsu's language. He didn't want you to know what it actually means or he'll bite you without warning.
He continued to hum his own nocturne in midnight.
The next night, he caught you overworking again that he dragged your hand to the music room once again. Reason? It's because he wanted to show you something. That something he wanted to show you is sheets of papers, written in sloppy yet neat handwriting. Some of them are written in scribbles and random writings but most of them are understandable to read.
"Seriously?" You raised your brow. "Lyric and music sheets?" He hummed at your question. "Another Knights song? Did you steal this from Senior Tsukinaga?"
"More like I wrote that." He retorted and you chortled. You read the lyrics and let out a smug smirk. "This seemed like it's written for Isara. That dedicated?"
"I rather bite you than admitting for who I wrote the song for." He looked at you annoyed and you ignored it with a hum.
'Midnight Nocturne...' You read the name of the song written on the lyric sheet. You turned the page behind the lyric sheet and what was revealed to you is a music sheet for piano. 'I couldn't even read this...' You received a few lessons from Leo and tried to understand the music sheet from the genius but as a result, all of those went out of the window.
"I'm going to play." Ritsu said and sat on the piano stool. "If you fall asleep, I'll have you as my pillow until we graduate."
"Alright. I won't sleep. I promise." You hummed in response and ignored him. For sure you'll be punished by him if you provoked him too much. But Ritsu, this time, he'll let it slide.
He placed his fingers on the piano keys and pressed it with grace. A melody came out of the piano and it caught your attention. It sounded gentle and comfortable, just like the pianist.
You remembered him humming the same song before cuddling you to sleep every late nights. Somehow, it became your lullaby from him.
The moonlight shines upon my fingertips, the stave whirling into the night
Trapped in the forest of sleep, I think of you whom I can't be with
He can see himself in the middle of the forest, where the moonlight shined upon him. He can see himself reaching his hand to the gentle rays that peeked through the leaves of the trees and cupped it as if he held it like the knight he is.
His body asleep, yet his soul awake. He is trapped in there while you remained in his deepest thoughts in the midst of his sea of memories. The only thing he felt in his sleepy journey is your presence, where he can only feel even without you near him.
I feel you beside me, in this darkness where there is no one else
He pressed the keys, releasing a beautiful melody from the piano. All he could think of is you whenever he sang this song. You beside him, you sleeping with him, and him in your arms, where he felt safe from all of his worries in his sleep.
He sounded like he longed for someone, someone he couldn't see but he felt their presence. Though alone, he will always feel that someone is beside him.
Your beautiful smile, it's like it could melt into the sun
Ritsu can only think of your smile. Your smile brightened his sleepy nights. Whenever you wake him up, he only thought of your smile. He only search for your smile when he wakes up and it happened when you saw him awake from his slumber.
"Ritsu..." You quietly muttered his name. You are listening to... his song. A song made by him and him alone.
Even in a world where we cannot intermingle
I am not alone right now
Though close by distance, you are too far for him to reach. It's as if you're worlds apart.
In the dead of night, with my sleeping breath, Song for you
Because I'm singing a melody that brings us together
He glanced at you and the moment he was about to, you are sitting beside him and laid your head on his shoulder. He smiled at his own progress. He was far from ending it yet he knows it touched your heart. It's just like how Knights' songs touched heart
And how your presence touched his own.
His voice sounded like a lullaby, calm and gentle, like a mother lulling their baby to sleep. But him, it's in his quiet nature. It left you in a daze, letting you enter your own reverie.
Just my piano, the moon and you, in a transparent sky
You can imagine yourself leaning on the piano as he played it under the starry sky. The water rippling at your every movement and mirroring the sky. It feels like a dream. You held out your hand as if to reach the stars. You are on your toes, aiming higher to reach it. A shooting star showed up on your view and your eyes sparkled more than the starry sky.
They simply kept existing kindly in the depths of my heart
The way he saw your smile made his night even more beautiful. His serenade made you wander in his dreams. His nocturne made you dance as your feet on the water created ripples in its wake.
While the tedium persists, by letting my fingers dance
His fingers danced on the keys. It so graceful that it speaks out, "It's my music, my song, and my piano. A melody that I own alone."
I come to know a sadness that resembles feelings of unrequited love, but
A drop of water fell from the sky. You held out your hand and it became a light shower. You felt like rain existed in your imagination. It touched your heart. It felt that sorrow and loneliness embraced him and you.
Even in a world that we cannot share, I won't lose sight of you
You felt like your body was swayed by the wind. You realized that it's Ritsu dancing with you. He turned you for a spin and held you close to him.
His first dance is his last in your reverie, but it will remain as a memory.
No matter where you are, an unchanging Song for you
He cupped your cheek and held you tighter on his embrace, as if he didn't want to let you go. You held the hand that cupped your cheek and let out a sigh of content, which you let out in your dreams and in reality.
Because I'm singing an eternal promise
You felt your eyelids became heavy and your heart beating loudly, loud enough for him to hear. Your souls are dancing but you remained there right beside him, listening to his nocturne.
Even if you can't hear me, I'm right here
Because even if I can't reach you, we're always together
'I know, Ritsu...' You answered him in your thoughts, hoping that he knew the same.
The pale blue moon connects us
Now, close your eyes and let us sing
"Even in a world where we cannot intermingle," You sang while he continued to play the piano. He let out a smile and continued for you. "Once again, towards the night you see somewhere."
"In the dead of night, with my sleeping breath, Song for you," He heard you hum along as he sang. He could hear you sing clearly. You remembered the very last line that etched in your mind for this very moment.
"Because I'm singing a melody that brings us together..."
Ritsu let out a finishing set of notes and his hand left the piano keys. He heard light breathing from beside him. He turned his head to see you're sleeping on his shoulder with a smile.
He chuckled lightly and patted your head.
"Sweet dreams, (Name)."
W/N:
HEUSHUEHSHEUDHD OKAY I AM GOING TO SHED TEARS BC THIS SONG CAN MAKE ME CRY I AM NOT LYING NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I READ THE TRANSLATED LYRICS I AM BAWLING.
#written by herri#ensemble stars#enstars#ensemble stars x reader#enstars x reader#ritsu sakuma#sakuma ritsu#sakuma ritsu x reader#ritsu sakuma x reader
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I'm going through A Thing right now, and while I feel I'm mentally better off for it, my financial anxiety is through the roof right now.
My sister-in-law was my boss. It worked great for a while (over 2 years) because even though she's an incredibly difficult person and paid me less than I'm worth ($16 an hour, part time), I could work from home and determine my own schedule, which was great for someone like me, who 1) has tons of medical appointments I have to go to on a regular basis, and 2) has kids and can't rely on anyone else to pick them up from school. I could also work around school events, which was also amazing because I want to be present for the things my kids feel are important. Also, she's in California and I'm in Texas, so I didn't have to deal with her very often.
Anyway, SIL found a service where she could hire people from the Philippines for $9.50 an hour. At the same time, she took on patients from another practice that was closing, so she had 2-3 times as many appointments each day. Meaning I started working more hours. At around that time, she asked me to transition from entering her charts to taking phone calls. But it was summer break, my kids were home, and my youngest is loud and demanding. I told her I couldn't because it wouldn't be professional to have my kid yelling for me through the door while talking to her patients. Moreover, at least half of her patients are Spanish-speaking, and I haven't used Spanish at all in the 24 years since I graduated high school. Instead of finding those points reasonable, she kept badgering and badgering me, even trying to go around my "no" by having my brother (her husband) ask my mom to ask me. I still said no.
Summer was ending and she asked when I could start on phones again. I gave her a date that was a week after the kids returned to school, and she agreed. But then she said weird things like, "only work the hours you would be working on the phone" and started training one of the people she found in the Philippines in some of the tasks that I did.
Last Monday, she demanded I start on phones that Wednesday, a whole week and a half earlier than we agreed upon. It was also the last week of summer vacation and there were a ton of things I had to do for the kids. I planned on working around the events I had to attend, but I couldn't start something new and with a specific schedule. I told her I could start on Monday (today) at the earliest, but she came back saying that I should enjoy my days off for the rest of the week until I could start on phones on Monday. She accused me of making her staff and patients "suffer" with my unreasonable availability.
I was livid. She was retaliating by taking away my hours for most of the week. She sure as fuck wasn't paying me for my time off. And my husband and I had suspected that she was giving my duties to the person in the Philippines, but I realized she wanted to limit my hours too by demanding I only work during the few hours I told her I could commit to working the phones. Basically, I started working 25-30 hours a week instead of 12-15 hours, so my SIL gave my job to someone she could pay less than California's minimum wage.
After a full day of being intensely angry, I confronted her about all of it: the badgering, the disrespect of going through my mom to get to me, springing new duties on me a day and a half before she wanted me to start and well before the agreed upon date I was to start, giving away my job so she could pay someone $6.50 less an hour, limiting my hours, and most of all for hurting me and my family by taking away almost a whole week's worth of wages because I wouldn't do what she wanted. If she wanted to hire someone else and didn't want to keep me on, she should have just told me so. At least then I could make an informed decision about what to do next.
She replied by trying to excuse her behavior as just "running her business" and that I was a burden and ruining her business. She said I was costing her $6760 over the course of the year. She didn't say, but I figured out where that very precise number. It was my wages if I worked 20 hours minus the wages of the person in the Philippines if they also worked 20 hours. I wasn't costing her anything. She wanted to save herself that much money, so she sabotaged my job. She only kept me on to stroke her own damn ego and feel like she was "saving" my family from destitution.
So I quit. Who needs enemies when I have "family" whose "help" is toxic and self-serving? I did really good work for her for over 2 years, and this is how she's going to treat me? Fuck that money-hungry bitch and her cheapskate, unethical bullshit. Fuck her for trying to control me by hurting my family in retaliation. She has alienated literally every one of our extended family, and now she's moved on to immediate family. I tried to tolerate her for my brother's sake. Fuck that now. I don't want to see her ever again.
I expected this from her. I'm angry, but it doesn't hurt so bad to cut her out of my life. I feel relieved, actually. But what really hurts is that my brother must have known what was happening and he didn't fight for me. I don't expect him to choose me over his wife, but he could have told me what she was doing. He could have told her it was shitty for her to give my job away to save what is - to them - pocket change. He didn't. We were "almost twins". He credited me for raising him. But he always chooses her over everything and everyone else. I'm not sure I blame him exactly, but I might never trust him again. And I certainly won't be seeing very much of him if she'll be around.
So now I'm scrambling to find a new job. I lost some dead weight, and I'm truly better off without her in my life. But I've been dealing with this for the past week and I'm still so angry. I'm a little angry at myself too. When I took this job, I knew it probably wouldn't end well working for her because of how much of a bitch she is. But it worked for 2 and a half years. It could've worked for longer. But she didn't value me, as an employee or even as a person.
If you've reached this far, thank you for "listening" to my rant. I find writing out my anger helps as much as yelling it. I'm hopeful that I'll find a new job soon, but if you spot a decent remote office work job an over-educated struggling writer could do, please keep me in mind.
#good riddance#she didn't like my kids anyway so she can fuck off#my kids are awesome and i'm enjoying them as best i can#lindira rants#go to bed kristine
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Nicole came out to see her dad, Ken had passed away suddenly from a heart attack several months ago. This had been her first trip since he passed.
She kept the conversation away from his health. Not that she didn't care, the thought of loosing her father again was terrifying. In the wake of burying her husband after a heart attack, it was too much. She knew Jen, Tiff and Grandpa Gene had those bases covered for her dad. It was more important to spend quality time while she could.
She made jokes and poked at him about the dust in his art studio.
He told her about Melody she had entered several writing competitions. "So far she's won two, the rest she hasn't placed but I just keep encouraging her to enter. She's had a few pieces published, which is great."
Nicole asked how River was doing with Computer Team? "He's doing great! His team is going to the state finals. He focuses more on robotics but he's also been helping Josh build that new rocket. After seeing your dad so focused on that old one, Gene and I weren't sure about them building a second one. It's been a very different project than with Jimmy. They work on it on the weekends. Sometimes Josh or River will tinker on components in the lab through the week but for the most part it's just weekends and they only work together. Honestly, I'm happy for it."
Nicole was glad the kids were doing well. Her three were getting big as well, her oldest, Pierre, was graduated and at Britechester on a soccer scholarship. Kole was on the High School debate team and still a social butterfly. "He reminds me of Tiff when she was in High School. He's never met a stranger and gets along with everyone but Pierre." she laughed.
Uncle Gene came and sat with them. "How's the littlest one?"
Nicole smiled "Kendrick is doing good, he's in 4th grade now. He's still figuring out his interests. His older brother's kind of had their interests figured out, Kenny bounces around. That one has a temper though, I'm not sure where it came from."
Gene chuckled, "that's a mystery wrapped in an enigma."
Nicole feigned offense, "surely, I don't know what you're talking about."
They had a good laugh.
Jen joined them as they were talking about the new series on LamaLama TV. Nicole had watched the first episode but wasn't really invested just yet. Gene assured her she should watch episode two, it would all make sense.
Jen poked at Nicole a bit to break the silence that had filled the room.
Jen smiled, awkwardly trying to reignite the conversation, "How are you? Are you still working in programing, you don't mention your career these days?"
Nicole could tell Jen was trying to keep things normal "Actually, I am. I took some time off when the boys were young but once they all started school I went back to work. I'm a lead programmer for Evergreen Tech, we are working on a desalination system for the harbor. How about you Jen? Still working with the bots?"
"I am, were doing more and more with them every day. I can talk a little about my project this time, it's private sector. I'm working on improving prosthetic joints to move more naturally with less impact or stress to the individual. We have a full leg prototype system that uses a combination or robotics, hydraulics and a new synthetic. So far we've proven it can walk, run and navigate stairs with natural movement. We'd like it to be able to get up and down on it's knees, dance, ice skate, it's still experimental but promising. The goal is to be able to mimic skeletal movement without creating additional issues. We're also working on ways to use the electrical signals and motion in the body as a power source. Some older models are able to accomplish natural motion for walking, running and stairs but require charging, we'd like to improve the tech for a better experience."
Nicole was impressed and a tiny bit jealous, Jen always worked on the coolest projects.
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𝗖𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿
"𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙛𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙮"
FINALLY, it was Friday, although I had only been there for a week, it felt like an eternity in that school. Supposedly, there was going to be a celebration for the football team at Domingo's later tonight.
I thought about the commitment I made to Carol about visiting. I checked the clock, and it was 5:30pm. Since it didn't start until about an hour, I pondered on how to pass the time. So, I searched my room for something to do, but found nothing. I ultimately decided to go for a drive.
I wore a multicolored shirt with some pastel high-waisted jeans, paired with white sneakers. I grabbed my car keys and purse, then headed downstairs. As I approached the front door, I was halted by Gabi.
She ran up to me and pulled on my arm with her hands covered in green paint, getting green paint all over my right arm. I pushed her away and gave her a stern look.
"Goddamn it, Gabi! Why on earth did you do that!?" I snapped, annoyed that she had ruined my outfit. She frowned at me and replied, "I just wanted to know where you were going. You don't have to be so mean," she said.
"None of your business. Stay in your place as a 10-year-old," I said, but she refused to back down.
"If you don't tell me where you're going, I'll tell Mom you hit me," she said with a smug smile. Sometimes, I genuinely wanted to strangle this little brat. I forcefully pushed her aside, causing her to collide with the table and cry out in pain.
"Tell her I couldn't care less," I stated.
I saw tears welling up in her eyes as she began to cry loudly on the floor, making me groan. Seconds later, my mom and dad rushed in. My dad helped Gabi up from the floor, while my mom started scolding me. However, I paid no attention to her words.
This provoked her anger and the next thing I knew I felt a slap on the side of my face...this bitch slapped me.
My father witnessed the incident and shouted at my mother.
"Genesis!" That brought my mother back to reality as she gasped, covering her mouth in an attempt to apologize. "darling I-" I abruptly interrupted her, walking out of the door and forcefully closing it behind me.
I entered the car, shutting the door and inserting the keys into the ignition, starting the engine and driving away.
I could hear my mom calling out to me, but after a few minutes, I pulled over and sat in the car to let it cool down for a while. I felt something trickle down my cheek...tears, it had been a while since I shed them.
At this point, I simply needed some time alone. I couldn't recall the last time I was innocent, I'm pretty certain it was before Gabi was born.
When I was young and she came into the picture, I never had an issue with her until my parents began to neglect me and only care for her.
They missed my 5th grade graduation because Gabi had her kindergarten graduation on the same day, not to mention they forgot my 10th birthday because they were too focused on enrolling Gabi in cheerleading camp.
All those memories made me feel vulnerable, as if I never had parents, as if I was never a part of the family. It's as if they forget that they have two daughters.
At this point, I hadn't even realized I was crying uncontrollably. I didn't even realize how long I had been driving until it was already dark.
I glanced at my watch and noticed it was 7:34pm. Deciding it was time to head to Domingo's, I set off down the road, making sure to stop for gas along the way. After 10 minutes, I spotted the prominent sign. As I approached, I noticed numerous cars and some school buses, indicating the presence of the football team.
Exiting my car, I quickly checked my appearance to ensure I looked presentable. I grabbed some wipes and removed the paint from my arm. Walking up to the entrance, I could hear a cacophony of noise, including the clattering of glasses and cheering.
A crowd of people surrounded a table, where approximately 25 boys wearing varsity jackets loitered, showcasing their muscular physiques.
It was evident that they were intoxicated, as they stumbled into one another, playfully wrestling and behaving in a rowdy manner. I scanned the area in search of Carol, until I finally spotted her.
She leaned against the counter, accompanied by a tall girl with raven black hair tied back in a ponytail, sporting a full face of makeup. This must have been Carol's older sister, Barbra.
The uniforms they wore appeared rather absurd, consisting of a green and white striped top paired with a dark green skirt.
The mismatched combination seemed quite odd, raising questions about the competence of their manager. Carol had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, making it slightly challenging to recognize her, as I was accustomed to seeing her with her hair down.
As I began to approach her, it almost seemed as though she sensed my presence. She turned her gaze in my direction, lifting herself off the counter and narrowing her eyes, seemingly confirming that it was indeed me.
Barbra noticed Carol's attention towards me and looked at me with confusion, evidently wondering why I was approaching them.
When I arrived at Carol, I slightly grinned at her.
"Sorry but that outfit is really ugly" Carol rolled her eyes at me and said in a sarcastic tone.
"Well I make it look good" I chuckled at her and nodded my head she wasn't lying she actually did look good in it.
"Yes you do" she looked at me in slight surprise but it quickly changed into a self-satisfied smirk.
"Umm excuse me who are you?" I looked behind her to see Barbra looking me up and down with a slightly envious look.
"The names Penelope, Penelope Rivers I'm a friend of Carol's" I stated showing my professional expressionless face and crossing my arms Barbra looked shocked as if she just saw a famous actor.
She then began to burst out laughing.
"Wait a minute Carol actually has a friend. How much did you bribe her?" That caused Carol to glare intensely at her sister if looks can kill she would have been 30 feet deep.
I already didn't like her. I could see why Carol speaks so negatively about her everything she says is true. Well, I don't know about the youngest yet.
I moved Carol to the side, so I was standing in front of her and face to face with Barbra.
"She didn't have to bribe me at all and what kind of sister do you think you are to speak about her in such a way because in my opinion that makes you a bitch and I don't like bitchy people" I sneered stepping closer to the black-haired girl.
She immediately stopped laughing and stood to her full height as if that was supposed to intimidate me.
"I'm sorry, what was that...?" I just rolled my eyes.
"You heard me, I'm not going to say it again because I haven't even been here for 10 minutes and you're already getting on my nerves" I said.
She rolled her eyes and simply walked away, but not before muttering "bitch" under her breath. I turned back to Carol to see her on the verge of laughter, though she tried to conceal it with a blank expression.
However, it didn't last long as she burst into laughter, leaning against the counter to compose herself.
I have to admit, her laughter was quite endearing, and it was the first time I had seen her smile so fully.
I mentally captured that image to cherish later, patiently waiting for her laughter to subside. After a few seconds, she wiped away an imaginary tear and composed herself, saying, "I really need you around more often."
I shrugged my shoulders and replied with a slight smile, "It's not like I had anywhere else to be."
I noticed a small smile forming on her face, but she quickly cleared her throat, attempting to hide it.
"Yeah, you never leave unless I tell you to," she said, and I couldn't help but chuckle at her. She was terrible at concealing her smiles.
Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of people chanting, "fight, fight, fight!" We walked closer to see a boy with black hair and green eyes on top of another boy with blond hair and blue eyes, repeatedly punching him. No one bothered to step in and help.
That is, until someone who appeared to be the coach emerged from the bathroom due to all the commotion.
When he saw what was happening, he quickly ran up and tackled the aggressor, pinning him to the ground while the other boy tried to squirm free from his grasp.
"Luis Enderson, what the hell is happening here?" the coach shouted.
The boy, who was presumably Luis, looked at his coach with wide eyes but remained silent. "Are you deaf?" the coach yelled again. He forcefully pulled the boy up and pushed him towards the exit.
"You're dismissed from the team since you can't properly represent our school. You will not have the opportunity to step out on the field again!" The boy exclaimed angrily and forcefully pushed the door open as he left in a fit of rage.
I struggled to hold back my laughter. He is such a fool. Who in their right mind would engage in a public fight? He definitely should be removed from the team.
I glanced at my watch and saw that it was 10:07pm. I turned to Carol and asked, "When does your shift end?"
She looked confused as she responded, "Why do you want to know?" I put on a smug smirk and replied.
"Can't a friend give another friend a ride home? Plus, I have to go back home anyway."
She nodded at me and said, "Yeah, I'll take you up on that offer. I just need to change first."
She walked off, most likely to get changed. After a few minutes, she returned wearing a black and dark blue striped sweater, tight dark blue jeans, and some shoes. Her hair was down, and she was struggling to put on her glasses.
"God damn it!" I tried to suppress my laughter as she accidentally poked herself in the right eye with her glasses.
She glared in my direction, but I could see that she was having trouble locating me since she was squinting. I walked up to her and took the glasses from her.
"Here, let me help." She stared directly into my eyes without blinking, even as I placed the glasses on her face and brushed some of her hair behind her ear. I smirked at the blush that appeared on her face.
"Are you flustered, Denning?" I teased, winking at her. She smacked my hand away, trying to fix her red face.
I chuckled and nodded toward the door, "come on, let's get you home." We both exited the diner and made our way to my car. I unlocked it, and we both climbed inside, closing the doors behind us.
"Why are you so kind to me?" I turned my head to gaze at her, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
"What do you mean?" She met my gaze and rolled her eyes.
"I don't know, nobody has ever talked to me or done anything like this for me before you came along. It was always about Barbie." I nodded as she continued.
"I often wonder how my life would have turned out if they didn't exist."
"The same question I ask myself every day about Gabi. How much better would my life be if she had never entered it? What can I do to finally get rid of her?" I replied, my expression lifeless as I stared ahead.
She turned her head towards me briefly but then returned her focus to the road. "I wish I had met you earlier," she muttered.
I briefly glanced at her, my hands still gripping the steering wheel, before redirecting my gaze back to the road.
"Do you ever feel like there's something wrong with you?" she asked.
"Honestly, I don't really know. I've always felt like there was something off about me, but I could never quite pinpoint it," I replied, causing her to turn her whole body towards me.
"I understand. Being the middle child comes with its own set of challenges. You never receive much attention, always feeling like the black sheep of the family. That's been my experience my whole life," she shared, surprising me with her openness.
At that moment, I decided to be bold. I stopped the car and reached out to hold her hand, causing her to flinch back slightly and look at me in shock.
"Well, now you have someone who cares about you, and that someone is me. So, don't put yourself down, alright?" She blinked and glanced down at our intertwined hands before a small laugh escaped her lips as she linked her fingers with mine.
She affirms with a nod and gazes into my eyes, a sincere grin on her face, causing my heart to race. Afterward, she returns her gaze forward and reclines against the seat.
"It's hard to believe, but I'm beginning to develop a fondness for you," she admits. This remark elicits a chuckle from me as I restart the car and proceed to drive to her residence, her hand still intertwined with mine.
"You've been winning me over as well, Carol."
#young carol#carol denning x reader#carol denning#lesbian#carol x fem oc#carol smut#angst#fluff#oitnb#present carol denning#naya rivera#ashley jordyn
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Regulus & The Cave
⦁ Harry, in cannon, is a pseudo-horcrux because Voldemort murdered Lily Evans Potter but Lily's love-protection-thing protected Harry from the killing curse meant for him and backfired on Voldemort who's soul was so damaged and unstable from creating many horcruxes that his remaining soul like shattered or something and part of it attached to the nearest living thing: baby Harry Potter. He's not a proper horcrux because Voldemort didn't intend to do it and didn't complete the process with the spell.
⦁ In my AU, Harry is a pseudo-horcrux like canon but it happened differently. Lily wasn't murdered. Instead the act of killing baby Harry is the required horrific act of murder but the backfire which killed Voldemort instead is the required death. I broke the required cold-blooded murder part into two parts; the remorseless intention and action(s) toward murdering somebody and the death of someone. You'd need both to create a horcrux and would accomplish both in a cold-blooded murder. A situation where someone died to protect an attempted-murder victim wouldn't create a horcrux unless the person trying to commit murder (and a horcrux) casts the completion spell then and there. Voldemort did it unintentionally because he was already unstable then died via backfiring killing curse.
⦁ The idea that Harry would become a (pseudo-)horcrux didn't occur to Regulus. Like with Snape in cannon, Dumbledore didn't tell Regulus or the Potters that Harry had to die for Voldemort to truly die.
⦁ There's debate on when Regulus Black's birthday is. Google said June 25 which I like bc mine is June 24. I'm going with June 25.
⦁ Regulus discovered that Voldemort made a horcrux a few weeks after he graduated when he nearly killed Kreacher. Voldemort was counting on the house elf dying.
⦁ Regulus switched sides and went to Dumbledore not long after his 18th birthday with his horcrux information. Dumbledore already knew and suspected multiple. Regulus thought it was only the one.
⦁ It was Regulus' who didn't want to tell his brother that he was a double agent. He thought Sirius would give him away, even in an effort not too. Besides, he figured since he believed when he joined that it was the right thing to do, that he deserved his brothers hate.
⦁ Besides, he'd likely die trying to get the horcrux or he'd be killed by Voldemort if he figured him out. Or he'd die fighting this war.
⦁ Point is, Regulus had enough painful memories of not being good enough for anyone but Sirius' mattered and he just didn't want to hear about how he was too late. Utter failure was easier to handle than Almost There.
⦁ When he entered the cave, Regulus was aware there was a very realistic probability of him dying in the cave. That's why he brought Kreacher.
⦁ Regulus would've liked a more thought out plan but when it became evident that the Potters were out of time, he knew there wouldn't be another chance soon.
⦁ If all went right then Dumbledore would be at the Potters and Voldemort would walk right into a half baked trap in which Dumbledore could kill him.
⦁ What would more likely occur is Voldemort showing up at the Potters with back up death eaters and Dumbledore wouldn't Kill him and people would likely die.
⦁ Depending on Voldemort's mood or the presence of werewolves, it could be a blood bath.
⦁ Whatever happened, Voldemort was occupied and if he felt Regulus destroy part of his soul, well he'd be occupied by a task which he would never delegate to a follower which gave Regulus a sliver of a chance to get away undetected. If he survived.
⦁ Horcruxes are very dark magic and Regulus assumed that Voldemort only dared to make one. Some of his work was centered around that assumption which lead to him believing that Voldemort would feel the destruction of his horcrux.
⦁ I imagine if Regulus found himself on a salt water beach sometime after the war that he'd be unsettled by the sound of water, especially crashing against rocks, combined with that strong salt water taste in the air and on his lips. A light way of saying it would be a PTSD trigger.
⦁ Regulus ordered the house elf to bring him to the location of the horcrux about a year after Kreacher nearly died.
⦁ He'd spent that year (6/79-6/80) studying horcruxes with Dumbledore. Trying to find any and all information on them that they could.
⦁ The problem was that horcruxes are consider so dark that even most dark wizards would be horrified by the creation of one. The practice of hiding the written words, not writing more and not saying anything to the newer generation in hopes of the knowledge being lost to history seems to be the favored practice. For Regulus and Dumbledore and even Riddle, that made getting information a very difficult challenge.
⦁ The first time he was there, Regulus studied the cave opening. His skin itched from the magic radiating within.
⦁ He knew he wasn't ready to go inward and he was careful not to preform any magic of his own to decrease the chances that it would become known to Voldemort that Regulus, or anyone, had been there and didn't die in the process. It was doubtful that Voldemort would think to look for Regulus' trace but it wasn't a chance worth taking. Kreacher used the minimal needed magic since the house elf magic trace is much more difficult for a wizard to pick up on.
⦁ I reread Chapter 26 "The Cave" from Harry potter and the Half-Blood Prince to write this with proper details. It's when Dumbledore brought Harry to the cave holding Slytherin's locket and drank the green potion.
⦁ He spent the majority of the following year preparing to get and destroy a horcrux; Voldemort's horcrux which meant also studying the magic and habits of Voldemort himself. He practiced defensive and useful spells like he was a 15 year old student again preparing for his OWLs. He still didn't feel ready in October of '81 but it was time.
⦁ The waves crashed against the rocks and wind howled as it tossed his curls around. He could taste the salt in the air and it stung his nostrils when he plunged into the icy waters.
⦁ Kreacher clung to the hood of his cloak as he swam toward the cave opening that took the appearance of a large crack splitting a huge rock into two. Further into the opening, the jagged crack became a narrow tunnel, which during the low tide should be empty or shallow enough to get inside.
⦁ A simple drying spell followed by a heating charm on his clothes calmed his shivers in a few minutes but the uncomfortable itch of the magic within the cave became more pronounced as he carried forward.
⦁ The tunnel lead to a den-like opening where it appeared to be the end. Regulus knew it was an illusion. Like the first time, Kreacher lead Regulus to a particular spot of rock wall. "It is hidden, Master."
⦁ Regulus waited a moment before realizing the elf wouldn't act without an order so he pulled his wand from his robes and made the entrance reveal itself.
⦁ "Blood, Master. It requires payment. Kreacher is will--"
⦁ "That is fine, Kreacher. I can do that." Regulus interrupted. He knew that already too. The elf offered last time as well. Like then, Regulus brought his wand to his right forearm and sliced his arm open, about two inches and only deep enough for blood to spill over the curve of his arm and on to the desired rock.
⦁ He went too deep the first time and didn't heal it very well so it left a small two inch scar on his right outer forearm.
⦁ Behind the entrance lie darkness.
⦁ "Lumos." He muttered. The black lake was just as he recalled it; still and dark and so large he couldn't see the other side nor the cave ceiling. The distant green hue remained too.
⦁ His wand lit the way for him and Kreacher but the darkness was so much bigger then his light and completely surrounding them.
⦁ This is as far as he went last time.
⦁ He turned to Kreacher and crouched to his level. "Understand me here. Don't touch the water. Be very careful about that. You are to follow my every order, okay? If I say 'Leave me to die' then I mean leave this place and me here to die. You act if I fail, not the other way around. Otherwise, you're a mostly useless insurance policy if I don't die. Now stay close."
⦁ They walked with Regulus leading and lighting the way until Kreacher stopped. Regulus noticed quickly that he was no longer being followed when he couldn't hear the house elf's shuffling in the eerie silence. He turned around and saw Kreacher crouching to inspect the still, black water. "What is it, Kreacher? Do you see something?"
⦁ "There's a boat here, Master. It's also hidden. Under the water, Master Regulus."
⦁ Once he knew it was there, raising the boat was a simple task. Kreacher went in first, then Regulus and the boat began moving on its own. It knew it's route. Soon Regulus and Kreacher were surrounded by still water with nothing else in their line of sight.
⦁ Regulus would've discover the bodies in the water by wand light like Harry did in cannon but after the crap he's seen as Voldemort's follower and a soldier of active war, he wouldn't be so shocked.
⦁ He would've thought them simply to be dead people but he could feel the magic around the boat, under it. They might be dead people, but they weren't simply that.
⦁ The boat took them toward the green hue which turned out to be a small island with a glowing basin carved from rock. The thing that glowed was the solid, emerald colour of the potion inside the basin.
⦁ Regulus summoned a stick and swirled the potion but it didn't make the potion any clearer. It didn't do anything.
⦁ Then he chanced touching it but he couldn't; he was stopped by an invisible barrier which didn't allow skin contact.
⦁ He did everything Dumbledore tried with Harry in the 6th book; Vanishing, parting, scooping and siphoning it away as well as transfiguring and charming it to change form. Obviously, it all failed.
⦁ "I have to drink it." He said, not really to Kreacher. "It could be poison. There's no other option."
⦁ "Master Regu--" "No. I didn't bring you here to die."
⦁ Regulus stared into the green potion. What would it do if it didn't kill him?
⦁ (He ignored the part of him which wanted Sirius, the part of him that suddenly wished he at least wrote a letter before leaving or risked the hurt to tell Sirius that he figured out how to be good.)
⦁ Then he squared his shoulders and looked down to Kreacher. "Alright, here are your orders. They may be my dying orders and I expect you to follow through. I don't know what's going to happen, or what I'll do or say so you are to make sure I drink all of it and anything I say, any orders I give to stop or slow down or anything that means I'm not drinking that potion, after I start are to be ignored until I've consumed the whole potion. Do you understand me?"
⦁ "Yes, Master Regulus, Sir." "Okay, and if it kills me, try to get the horcrux and go, in that order, but not at the expense of your life. If you must, leave it. Save yourself. Don't waste efforts on my body; the tapestry will let people know."
⦁ Telling a house elf to be obedient is redundant but if there was a time Kreacher may disobey, it would be to save himself from being without a master.
⦁ Maybe it was wishful thinking, like he hoped Kreacher cared, because there other Blacks beyond Regulus.
⦁ Regulus summoned a goblet, filled it from the basin and raised it half-heartedly. He recalled a time he and Sirius were little and they still played hide and seek. Kreacher was always 'it' and they kept a score board. Then he downed the goblet's contents.
⦁ He refilled and emptied the goblet three times quickly. The dizziness and gut cramps hit sudden and hard but he fought to keep upright. And drain another goblet.
⦁ That cause the dizziness the wash over him in a wave taking his hearing. He could distantly hear Kreacher calling for him and Sirius too. When did Sirius get here? He couldn't be.
⦁ For moment he thought he dropped the cup as it left his hand until it levitated to his lips and he remember to drink it. He didn't notice when he squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would help.
⦁ The goblet was empty and gone and pain coiled in his guts, raising in his chest. Then the goblet was back at his lips. "No.. 'S no good." He tried to swat the cup but he fell instead. When did he grab the basin? Letting go wasn't smart, was it?
⦁ "Master, must drink."
⦁ "No, no.. I don' wan'.. Please, no.." In his fall, he made himself low enough for the house elf to grab his face and pour the potion down his throat.
⦁ The goblet left and returned. "Please, no more."
⦁ Pain snaked up his spine and he shrieked. Yet the goblet returned with more.
⦁ "No more, no more,"
⦁ "You got yourself into this position." Why was Sirius here?
⦁ "'S'r'us, 'm good." He needed to tell him. A distant part of Regulus was sure he was dying so he needed Sirius to know. Sirius might still hate him, but maybe a little less if he knew.
⦁ Another goblet. "Good at following blindly. First our parents, then your stupid friends, then the Dark Lord. Even Dumbledore! And now, a house elf. Ouch, that's pretty low."
⦁ "No, 'm not foll'ing.. the Dar' Lor'. 'S wha' 'm saying."
⦁ "You're gonna die in here." "S'rry. I didn' mean to."
⦁ "It won't be quick. You should stop." "I don' wan' it."
⦁ Regulus, unfortunately, had plenty of experience with the torture curse. And he'd take another round over the pain that came with the ninth goblet. Pain and alertness, his fav combo.
⦁ At first, it didn't click that the shrieks and sobs were his.
⦁ "St-Stop! Please! Just please! Sirius, help!"
⦁ Another goblet. "No! I want to stop!"
⦁ Another. "Just Kill me! Kill me, please!"
⦁ Final goblet and blissful darkness.
⦁ He woke crumpled over on his side covered in sweat and feeling like a dried out cucumber. Water.
⦁ He lifted his head and found Kreacher wasn't anywhere in sight.
⦁ Water. He needed some water.
⦁ He coughed and dropped his head back down to the dirt. He saw the goblet next to him. "Water." He rasped. He really needed some water.
⦁ "Water." He made a weak hand motion at the cup.
⦁ He move toward the still water in a pathetic crawl with arms and leg that refused to listen to him.
⦁ The water roared to life the instant he touched it with his fingers. A pale and skinny undead hand grabbed his wrist and started pulling him face forward.
⦁ Such an odd angle to be at, eye level, as hundreds of Inferi broke that surface.
⦁ He wasn't so thirsty anymore, like contact with water was a cure, and he knew he wouldn't be able to escape them.
⦁ Kreacher was gone. He must've thought Regulus died and followed orders.
⦁ Then a loud crack echoed throughout the cave followed a moment later by a plethora of light and warmth from directly behind. Only when the ring went over his head and over the water, scaring the Inferi off and back under the water did Regulus see that it was fire. He pushed himself onto his back and saw Dumbledore wielding the ring of fire with his wand and beside him was Kreacher who was wearing a locket.
��� "Up, my boy," Dumbledore said, using a single hand to heave Regulus up by the arm and bearing over half his weight while maintaining the fire. He did so with surprising strength and ease. "You've done well."
⦁ "Where's Sirius? He was here. I think he was."
⦁ "Sirius is at St. Mungo's. He was never here."
⦁ "No. No, healers.." Regulus muttered, tipping toward delirious again.
⦁ They used Kreacher to apparate out of the cave.
⦁ (Doing so would alert the Inferi but Dumbledore could handle so it was a worthwhile quick method. Reg wanted to sneak in, but he nearly died and that element was no longer important.)
⦁ Regulus was out of it leaving the cave. Kreacher brought them to Grimmauld Place. (It would've been left to Reg by his parents.)
The Black Brothers Reunion (01:00 November 13 1981)
⦁ I initially thought Sirius would be angry or something every time I go to write that, I can't. So I changed the tone; Sirius isn't angry. More tired then anything else.
⦁ Regulus recovered from the potion quickly but it lowered his already low immune system response and immediately after, he caught a severe stomach bug.
⦁ Regulus felt the wards being tempered with and found someone sitting at the bar in the drawing room, preparing two glasses. He wandered closer under the dim lighting, wand ready in the sleeve of his night shirt, and got a better look.
⦁ Part of him would've rathered an intruder. He was more ready for that.
⦁ "Sirius." He said stiffly.
⦁ "Reg." Sirius sighed, sitting back in his chair (though Reg was no fool, tension rolled off his mock relaxation) and pushing the one of the drinks forward, "I'm not doing this sober. How ill are you?"
⦁ Dumbledore told him. Sirius probably shouldn't've been surprised; Regulus was sick a lot growing up and Sirius took care of him before Hogwarts.
⦁ "I have no desire to up anything else. You drink though."
⦁ Sirius left the two glasses. "Are you going to sit?"
⦁ Regulus' hair was grown out a bit, falling in front of his eyes and mussed from sleep. He was using it to hide his eyes from Sirius. He'd feared this moment, Sirius could say many things and Regulus is pretty sure none would sooth the creeping anxiety.
⦁ He sat next to Sirius, keeping one stool between them. He was tired and he wanted sleep almost as bad as he wanted water in the cave.
⦁ Then, in the cave too, the only thing he wanted more was Sirius.
⦁ He just wished he had the energy to explain himself; the ability to make his brain think. "Sirius, I--"
⦁ Sirius placed the back of his hand on Regulus' forehead. They both ignored his flinch and Reg tried not to feel seven. "I know, Reggie. Lily and Dumbledore told me. Lily said there's a couple things that can't be shared but you were helping us. You save James and Lily and little Harry. She said in more ways then one."
⦁ "They did?" He couldn't resist leaning into Sirius' cool fingers. Sirius wiped the tears away as soon as they spilled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I-I'm really sorry, Si-Sirius--"
⦁ "Shhh, it's okay." Sirius whispered, standing and pulling Regulus with him. "C'mon, you have a fever."
⦁ Regulus followed easily, a true testament to his exhaustion, and didn't stop trying to explain himself. "I messed it up- so bad, I m-messed up. I want- want to fix it. Sirius, I t-tried. I want to- to be like you; g-good."
⦁ "You are, Reg. You did good, okay? It's okay." Sirius murmured, as he lowed Regulus it the nest spilling out of the closet. "You're okay."
⦁ "Don't go." Regulus mutter, sounding like they were little again.
⦁ "I won't." Sirius said, sinking down to sit beside the nest.
⦁ Regulus saw him through rose-tinted glasses, Sirius thought, if he was his model for a good person.
#regulus lives#sirius black#black brothers#regulus black#marauders era#everyone lives/nobody dies#lord voldemort#tom riddle#omegaverse#death eaters#harry potter#au#the first order of the pheonix#kreacher#house elves#house elf#the cave#slytherin's locket#horcrux#hurt regulus
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Aoi looked over as you entered the library and waved you over. "Hey, Hon! Good to see you!" She just kept growing bigger every day and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. It had only been a month since you started dating and she was more than twice your height. The hug you received lifted you more than a few feet off the ground, and you felt her grow bigger around you again. It was a slow, steady thing, and she set you on the table she was at. It was usually only used by larger species, but she definitely counted now.
You talked a bit about her studies and what you planned on doing with graduation behind you. When you said you planned on joining her here and already had your acceptance letter, she was ecstatic. "You're gonna love it here! I can even extend my studies and go for a doctoral. Your study session with her was oddly fun in a way that it hadn't been back in high school. Probably because you sat in her lap and used her breasts as a headrest.
You parted ways after a dinner at your favorite restaurant and went home. The next few weeks went quickly, and you were both too busy to see each other in person, though you did text frequently. One morning, your phone dinged, and you gawked at the selfie she sent you.
"Hey, Hon! Outgrew my bed now, and I'm getting moved to the megafauna dorms! I'll get you a key so you can still visit."
You thought back to her wish a few months prior. It seemed like a joke then, but now...?
College life was as quiet as ever. Nobody dared pick on her anymore, and as long as you were around her, you were untouchable. Even Regina was smart enough not to pick that fight. Months came and went, and the winter weather hit hard. Not that you noticed. Aoi lovingly carried you everywhere she could. Christmas morning came, and you got another text. Your jaw dropped again and this time your brain short circuited.
"Merry Christmas, Hon! Come get your present!"
How she managed to get out of bed and pull you out from her cleavage without waking you was anybody's guess. Questions for later. For now, you eagerly ran to spend Christmas with your elephant-sized girlfriend.
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Gambling Addiction: This is my story
Today is the first day where I decided enough is enough. Throughout the past 2 years I've probably lost millions of dollars. I've had several bank accounts close on me from too many in and out transactions. I've devastated my family beyond repair. The final payment for the Disney Cruise was coming due on the first week of November, but of course, I didn't have money to pay it. Thursday night, I won about $2,000 and within the matter of less than 24 hours it went straight back into the tables. I'm tired of putting myself and my girls through this period of ups and downs, highs and lows. Enough is enough. Today is the day I wipe my hands with gambling, put my foot down, and NEVER go back to it.
My gambling addiction started ever so innocently. At 21 years old, I felt on top of the world. I was finally legally able to drink and enter into casinos. This was so exciting to me because I no longer had age restrictions and could LEGALLY do the things that I had already been doing since I was around 19 years old. Weekend after weekend my mom would take me to the casinos, often times I would gamble and gamble until I only had a few hundred dollars left in my account. During these times in the casinos, my best friend (who lives in North Carolina) introduced me to the mother of all evils, fish tables. She was telling me how she would put in $50 and walk away with $500. This seemed almost like it was too good to be true. I started off joining all of the Facebook groups that I could to enter into these underground "casinos" and play the fish tables. It all seemed so confusing to me but after a while I got better at it. A few months passed and sure enough I was playing every morning, afternoon, and night. I just couldn't get enough of the game. Whether I was winning or losing I just couldn't stop.
After about a year of playing these fish table games for the first time ever I hit for $10,000. "This is great" I thought to myself, "this is going to be a life changing amount of money". I started envisioning myself taking my daughters to Disney, paying off my car, erasing all of my debt but I just couldn't stop. Within the matter of a week I too, lost the $10,000 and had just pennies in my bank account. Not only did I lose the $10,000 but I also lost every dollar of my check. Determined to get it back, I would take cash advances off of my credit cards, go on every cash advance app I could think of, just to try and get it back. The big back hole I was digging for myself only got bigger and darker.
Fast forward, I'm not 3 years into my gambling addiction. Just about 3 months ago I had my bank account in the high $7,000s purely off of gambling. With this money I started planning a trip to take my girls to Niagara Falls, I planned on again paying off my car, I planned on investing the money. But did this stop me? No. I continued gambling until I had nothing but cents left again.
When I was happy, I would gamble. When I was depressed, I would gamble. When I was stressed out, I would gamble. When I was lonely, I would gamble. When I had family conflicts, I would gamble. When I had a rough day, I would gamble. Gambling was the only coping mechanism I had known for the past 3 years.
I knew I was at my breaking point because just a few days ago I was looking up things like "what happens when you die", reading over the Reddit posts of people that were just as depressed as I was. I was contemplating taking my life but I kept thinking about my kids. I kept thinking about what they would do if I was gone, I was thinking about how I would never live to see them graduate, I was thinking about all of the trauma they've been through in their short lives already. They don't deserve that and I couldn't stomach the fact of putting my children through anymore heartbreak.
I went from exercising 2 times a day, to not exercising at all. I went from being in the high 100s to being in the high 200s all within the course of 3 short years. I've destroyed trust within my family. I've stolen to have more money to gamble and lose. I've lied to my daughters about not gambling. I've given them promises of false hope. Every attempt that I made to stop it once and for all, I always ended up back at square one and right into my same habits. I even went as far as to install Gamban and within the matter of 24 hours I found a way around it and deleted the software off of my phone.
Sitting here now, I have $1 in my bank account and I'm feeling worthless but you know what? Life is what you make out of it, and how you come back from your failures. The great thing is that I'm still young, I'm 28 years old, I have my whole life ahead of me. Money can and will always be made again. I'm giving myself another chance at life starting today. Today is the first day for the rest of my life. Gambling takes away so much more than just your money. Gambling takes away your sanity, sense of self, confidence, decision making skills, and literally alters your brain.
Looking forward to the future, I am planning on taking my girls to Disney World in March. I will not let them down this time. Every day I'm going to document how I feel, just for therapy to release my innermost deepest thoughts. I never want to feel this low again in my life, I won't allow it to happen. My daughters are literally counting me. If no one else believes in me, I know they will always have hope in me. Everyday I will work and commit to making a better life to myself. I'll slowly gather up all of the pieces and make myself whole again. Just for today, I will not gamble.
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mimi's dream wave audition!
getting the chance to audition was enough for mimi, her thought process being that this was at least some sort of step towards her dream of debuting someday. the moment that she had seen the announcement for the dream wave auditions she was quick to find a quiet place in order to make sure she not only complied with their terms, but also so that she would be alone to focus properly and not screw something up during the whole recording.
mimi made sure to find a plain white long sleeved dress that she had stored away in her closet. it hadn't been something she originally wanted to buy when she had gone shopping a few weeks ago, though she's glad she let one of her friends talk her into it in the end because it was really the only 'plain' article of clothing that she even owned at this point in time. most of her clothes were colorful or just not appropriate for any sort of audition.
setting up the camera and closing her door so that none of her friends that were over could bother her, mimi smiles once the camera begins recording and starts her first steps towards hopefully becoming a trainee.
DREAM COMPANY: "my dream company is lime entertainment~" she happily says, her smile growing as she speaks. "i've always been a fan of the artists under lime, actually i'm pretty sure there isn't a single album that their artists have released that i don't own. i don't know exactly what got me to become a big fan of the company really, though there's just something about them that always seemed to capture my attention." she states, tilting her head slightly towards the side.
"i guess it could partially be because of the artists under the company, though i guess you could also say that i really enjoy how they always seem to really give it their best and a lot of thought when debuting their artists, just like they do when they release new music as well. maybe i was even drawn to the company because of how unique their name is? that's something that also stood out to me when i first discovered lime entertainment and ever since then i've been following each group they debut after."
SECOND DREAM COMPANY: did she even have a second dream company? she wasn't too sure, especially since she had only ever really dreamt of being in lime entertainment, though there is another company she wouldn't mind if she had the chance of entering. "i don't really have a second dream company, but if i had to choose it would probably have to be sr media?" the answer comes out more like a question rather than an actual statement, mostly because she really isn't sure nor had she ever had a backup plan made up for if she weren't ever able to get into lime.
PREVIOUS MUSICAL EXPERIENCE: there honestly wasn't much for her to say for this portion, mostly because she had never gone to some fancy musical schools or done anything majorly 'great' that could be considered as experience when it came to music. aside from her doing a few competitions in school here and there, mimi really didn't have much to go off of sadly and now she was wishing that she did.
"honestly other than a few school competitions i don't really have much musical experience. other than also teaching myself what i know now from youtube videos? i can't really say that i went to a music-based school other than attending SOPA once i arrived in korea and graduating from there." she gives a small pout at her lack of experience before finally continuing on.
SKILLS: [ ♡ ] "i think other than what i learned from attending SOPA, what i've learned from being self-taught and the occasional school competitions i've gone through, that i may not be the best when it comes to rap, dance, or even singing but i still put my all into what i do and work every day on bettering my skills so that i can confidently stand on stage someday without worrying." she smiles softly as she speaks, straightening up a little as she does so.
OTHER TALENTS: humming softly and nodding her head a little, mimi begins to answer the next question. "i'm multi-lingual. i can speak japanese, korean, and i'm probably about an intermediate level when it comes to english? i'm not saying i'm perfect with the language, though i can still get by if i were to ever take a trip somewhere like the states." thankfully one good thing came with having wealthy parents that didn't pay much attention to her. she got to travel a bit with her big brother overseas often and learned english along the way.
"i'm really big on doing little DIY projects that i find online, some that involve furniture and others that involve things like clothes, keychains, phone cases... basically anything that i find interesting and want to try my hand at! though i will admit i'm pretty decent at playing the violin. it's something i was sort of thrown into at a young age and honestly really enjoyed doing. oh! i'm also great when it comes to baking and making sweets."
FAVORITE ARTISTS: squinting a bit, mimi thinks on the last portion of the audition as she tries to pick a favorite artist amongst the list of those she listens to. "some of my favorite artists would have to be YunA, PRIZM, and Starlie from lime entertainment. a few others outside of korea would be... Misamo, XG, Katseye, NiziU, Perfume, NAME, G.E.M, TNT and Sofia Carson."
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POET IN PROGRESS
November and December brought me the peace I needed to wrap up 2023 on a high note and walk into 2024 with a new mindset. God gave me a taste of what the "slow life" really entails. I appreciate all the small moments I can get just to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer. That saying, I've been thinking a lot about my life. Yet, this isn't new to me. With my vision board in sight, I began asking myself some questions...WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
Loaded question. Really, what am I doing with my life. It could be the change of the seasons or God gracing me a break from work, but I began asking myself where is life directing me. I'm 27 now, and opening a new chapter in my life. I'm leaving the grief & anxiety behind me (hopefully they wont become a major distraction in my life again). Singlehood has taught me to place myself first. To love myself again! I'm not in a rush to level-up in my career. I still have another year and a couple more clinical hours to rack-up before i can sit down for the LICSW exam (ugh). (I'm still 50/50 on this decision). I'm blessed to be with Adelante for almost 2 years come June. Call me a career woman LOL!
My health & mental health are pretty stable. I've reconnected with some old friends as well as reconnected with some new ones. I'm still capable of providing for myself. Therapy helped with asserting my boundaries. I'm able to focus on my hobbies. So, what's missing...?
I guess I'm still adjusting to my new life. Finding that perfect work/life balance will be a constant theme in my life. As long as I can address my needs early before compassion fatigue & burn-out take over, I should be fine. Then the aspect of school popped into my head. Not too long ago, I just completed 6 years worth of college, and I have the student loans to prove it. Why am I thinking about returning to school. In reality, I don't have the time to enroll in college again. Not even for a part-time program. Anyway, what would I study. I don't need to take any classes related to social work or psychology. My current work experiences is giving me all the lessons I need to better understand the world better. Then there's my vision board.
God was sending me a message via my vision board. God is telling me that this season is my time to invest in my passion. That passion is writing. If money wasn't an issue, your girl would be spending her time travelling and reading good books. If money wasn't an issue, I would be working in a bookstore. As an alternative, I can visualize myself as a travel blogger. I don't technically want to become a professional author/writer full time because my intentions behind writing isn't motivated by money. Plus, my inspiration doesn't work like that. It comes and goes like the ocean waves. I WRITE BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY STORIES TO SHARE.
GOD BLESSED ME WITH A POWER FOR WORDS. My pencil is my sword. My words give me voice.
"Your life is already artful-waiting, just waiting to make it art."- Toni Morrison
Thank you liberal art colleges for pushing your students out of their comfort zones. I'm glad I took a few English courses at Bridgewater College before I graduated. The English department was my gateway into the world of poetry. Ever since then, its been one notebook after another. Ding! Why not go back to school for creative writing. PROBLEM: Time & Money. God always makes a way out of no way. Starting in June, I'm going back to school. I'm taking 3 six week online workshop classes to improve my skills & knowledge around poetry. And I entered my first chapbook, Mariposa, into a recent poetry chapbook contest. Fingers-crossed.
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