#i could be wrong but i feel as if i am picking up on the writing hints again

[hitomisuzuya]

hii! hope you're doing well :) could we have a fluff/romance in which harbinger!scara has a strong so? like one who can fight/has a job related to fighting?

harbinger!scaramouche x fem!reader. fluffy fluff fluff soft, grumpy scara.

hello, i was a little anxious when i woke up but i am doing better now🥺 i hope you are well. i instantly got a cute idea for this.

quite frankly, you took scaramouche's breath away. in all the chaos of combat, navigating around the idiocy of his other subordinates he could barely take his eyes off of you. you had strength that nearly matched his own, with your pyro vision and a sword that could strike fear into the hearts of anyone who looked at it.

if someone so much as twitched a threatening eyebrow in his direction during battle, you were right there, dispatching them. "how dare you try and take him away from me," even his subordinates looked at you with awe.

he really, really wants to be the one protecting you, the most precious thing in the world to him.

"hm?" you asked, looking at him feeling his eyes boring into you. you are met with a very grumpy expression. "what's wrong? you didn't get hurt, did you?" you fretted, putting your hands on his cheeks.

scaramouche felt his grumpy mood soothe a little, your hands felt so tender on his cheeks. "no, i didn't. how foolish of you to think that," he said, taking your hands off his cheeks.

you cock your head a little in question, looking visibly relieved. "that's good. what's up then?" an embarrassed flush dusted his cheeks. who gave you the right to look so cute.

"i wish you would just let me protect you," he said stubbornly crossing his arms. you are his, damn it. as proud of you as he is, he should be the one protecting you. you shouldn't have to fight if he made it so you didn't have to.

"but i don't want anyone to get in your way," you replied, your heart fluttering in your chest hearing how much genuinely meant what he said.

"that's not the point," he wasn't backing down on this one. "you always tell me i am such a man. then let me be a man and protect you," he sighed, putting a hand on your cheek. "please," he added softly.

"well, there is this mud puddle right up ahead. it's threatening me and i am a little scared of it. could you pick me up and carry me?" you asked, looking away shyly.

you didn't even need to ask twice. scaramouche promptly scooped you up bridal style in his arms, resting your head on his chest. "hold onto me," he gently commanded, more than feeling the warmth of your body resting against his as you cling to him.

he didn't put you down once you passed the mud puddle though. "there might be more puddles. i'll carry you the rest of the way back just in case."

[forgottensomewhere]

(I'm a little bit not very smart so I apologize if I answer something wrong lol)

1. A deer jawbone that I found at a railroad track

2. A bee in a lil dome

3. A wet specimen of a rat that I named Ratthew

4. Part of a squirrel skull, I'm just mad that it broke when I dug it up :(

5. 30ish?????

6. Yeah

7. Taxidermy pigeon (I forget the exact amount but it was around $200)

8. Something I scavenged probably

9. Pig or cow skull

10. I don't know but I really like ribs and vertebrae

11. Rabbit

12. I think it would be cool if I could get a wet specimen of a fawn

13. 🤷

14. I like finding things myself because for me it feels like something I earned but I still buy stuff

15. Yeah

16. Nah, I feel really sad when I see roadkill so I could never hunt lol I would feel so bad

17. Water

18. Yeah

19. I think I started collecting little things here and there when I was like 15

20. Oh yeah absolutely. Plenty of my friends get a little bit weirded out, the running joke is they can never take me anywhere because I'm always trying to pick up carcasses.

21. Yeah I have a few friends who are also into it

22. 🤷

23. Nopeeeee

24. Bones from juvenile squirrels

25. Taxidermy pigeon

26. No

27. No but I would really like to learn someday

28. No

29. Definitely taxidermy

30. Nah I like having my little hoard I would want to keep everything for myself lol

31. Yeah probably

32. I love seeing all of the cool collections, I get so jealous but it's so awesome

33. 🤷

34. One time when I was changing out the water in a maceration bucket and I somehow managed to get a little bit of water splashback in my mouth oh my God I was so grossed out and terrified of getting sick

35. See the answer to question 34

36. Nope

37. Yeah

38. A deer head I found on the side of the road

39. I have a part of the skull of my pet love bird that passed away a long time ago. When my dog passes away I'll probably just have him cremated and keep the ashes

40. Honestly I'm not as well versed as I should be😅 (don't worry I'm looking into it now)

41. Not as much time as I wish but I enjoy the little bits of time I can set aside

42. Yeah

43. @earthenremains @graveyardharmony @breathing-rapture

44. I would like to

45. Not really

46. I think I kind of just fell into it. Ever since I was little I always loved collecting little trinkets and stuff and then it gradually became more like collecting bugs and bones and all of that.

47. Nope I think it's funny when people find me off putting because of my hobby

48. A little bit, I am a Hades devotee so death and all of that kind of ties into it

49. I really like collecting bones and taxidermy and all of that stuff because it feels like giving the poor little creature a second purpose. Instead of leaving it to rot away and be forgotten, I cherish the things that I find

50. Aside from the really obvious hobby, I really like to read and play video games. I really really really like the Magnus archives. My favorite word is basil (please help I'm so sorry I'm always bad at talking about myself 😭)

Vulture culture asks

First piece?

Last piece?

Favorite piece?

Least favorite piece?

How many items in your collection?

Would you consider buying something for your collection?

Most expensive?

Least expensive?

Dream skull?

Dream non skull bone?

Dream pelt?

Dream dry/wet preserve (including diaphonization)?

Dream other?

Prefer finding or buying?

Do you pick up road kill?

Do you ever hunt animals and then collect bones?

Water or burying?

Collect insects?

How long have you collected?

Does anyone around you think it’s gross/weird?

Is anyone around you interested in it like you are?

Weirdest thing you’ve found?

Ever bleached or boiled?

Smallest piece?

Biggest piece?

Do you tan?

Do you taxidermy?

Do you diaphonize?

What’s one thing you want to learn in vulture culture?

Do you or would ever consider selling vulture culture items (link your shop if you sell!!!)?

Would you buy a human bone?

What’s your favorite thing about vulture culture?

What’s your favorite animal type to work with? (Ex: mammals, birds, etc. OR cats, butterflies etc.)?

What’s the nastiest thing you’ve done while doing vulture culture?

Ever had a vulture culture accident?

Ever articulated a skeleton?

Do you like collecting things like shells or beehives?

What do you have in the cleaning process right now?

Would you keep your own pets pelt/bones?

Do you think collection laws are reasonable or not?

How much time do you spend doing vulture culture?

Do you have a vulture culture display case or display room?

What are your 3 favorite vulture culture blogs?

Collect antlers?

Do you make any vulture culture related art or art out of vulture culture things?

Did someone else get you into vulture culture?

Do you have to hide your vulture culture from anyone?

Does vulture culture tie into any of your religious beliefs (you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to)?

Why vulture culture?

Introduce yourself to the vc community and say a few things about yourself!!!

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning

TW: Self Harm Mentioned/Implied

AN: next update our ladies will have a proper reunion but first tree farm tree farm! (Even though only the poor kids- and Bob- are the only ones super excited about it)

Transcript under the cut

Nancy Narrates: [All those years I’ve spent yearning, wanting, my whole self calling for her—and now she’s here]

Nancy Narrates: [This isn’t a dream. She’s here. I can feel the warmth in her cheek]

Nancy: I- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- I don’t know why I did that. I shouldn’t have-

Vanessa: [laughs] It’s ok, Nancy! It’s good to see you too.

Vanessa: Wow, look at you. You’re all grown up, aren’t you?

Nancy: I- I-

Vanessa: Still filled to the brim with tears too.

Nancy: [softly] Sorry. I thought.. I thought I’d never see you again.

Vanessa: 16 years is a long time. I was worried you would have forgotten all about me.

Nancy: I could never forget you.

Vanessa: I’ve come all this way to see you.

Nancy: Have you really?

Vanessa: I know it’s been years, but I was hoping we could reconnect. I’m staying at the Fyres Hotel. Maybe we could have dinner there tonight. Catch up?

Nancy Narrates: [I had to physically restrain myself from saying yes. I realized, after all these years, I still would have followed her anywhere...but it can’t be this way. Not anymore..]

Nancy: [exhales] I can’t. I’m sorry. I had plans.

Vanessa: Ah! Well. I did pop in last minute. Maybe some other-

Nancy: You could come with me! I mean, If you like? We’re supposed to get a Christmas tree for the house; trying to set new traditions and what not.

Nancy: It’s silly but it’s important to them- my sons. I have two boys, by the way. I have to do this for them but- you’re here and I don’t know if I can see you leave again. God, am I rambling too much?

Vanessa: You want me to go tree shopping with you and your children?

Nancy: [blushes] Will you?

Vanessa: Lead the way.

-

Malcolm: What’s taking that lady so long!

Jonathan: Should we try and call mom again?

Geoffrey: [hums noncommittally]

Malcolm: He’s not even listening!

Bob: Hellooo? Earth to Geoffrey?

Bob: Iggy say, ‘what’s eatin’ ya, Uncle G?’

Iggy: [coos]

Geoffrey: Heh, sorry! Sorry. I guess I got alot on my mind right now.

Eliza: Is everything ok?

Geoffrey: Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah- well...I guess I’m thinking about Nance?

Eliza: What’s wrong with Nancy?

Geoffrey: I’ve been thinking about what happened on our anniversary trip.

Bob: Yeah? What was it?

Malcolm: Mommy’s here!! Mommy’s here!!

Malcolm: Er, who’s that with my mommy?

Bob: Well, I’ll be damned! Talk about a throwback!

Eliza: [whistles] Oh, wow! Who is that? Is she a model?: Well, I’ll be damned! Talk about a throwback!

Geoffrey: Vanessa Villareal?

Nancy: These are my sons, Jonathan and Malcolm.

Vanessa: Oh! Oh, Nancy, they are beautiful.

Malcolm: Who are you, lady!

Nancy: Don’t be rude, darling. Vanessa is- was- she’s my..

Vanessa: I’m your mother’s best friend.

Jonathan: I’m Jonathan, but call me Johnny. This loud mouth is Malcolm.

Vanessa: Johnny it is. You must get those cool, blue eyes from your mom’s brother.

Jonathan: You knew my Uncle Nathan?

Vanessa: No, but I saw a picture once, a long time ago.

Vanessa: [turns to Malcolm] And you look just like your mother.

Malcolm: Are you a movie star too?

Vanessa: [chuckles] No, I’m not a movie star.

Malcolm: Then who are you lady?

Vanessa: I’m your Auntie V. You can call me that, if you like.

Malcolm: Aunt V, are you gonna pick out a tree with us?

Vanessa: You bet. You should know, I have a keen eye.

Nancy: Sorry I’m late..

Geoffrey: Better late than never. I see you had an eventful day.

Malcolm: No more talking! Let’s go already!

Jonathan: I want to find our tree with mom!

Malcolm: Well I’m taking daddy!

Bob: Alright! Long time no see, VV! Man, it’s been a while, huh?

Vanessa: Just V is fine. Billy, right?

Bob: [sighs] It’s Bobby. This is my wife, Eliza and this cool guy is Iggy.

Vanessa: [sheepishly] Right. Nice to meet you. Wasn’t there another one of you?

Bob: [chuckles] Cassie. We still keep in touch. She’s a travel blogger now. And I’m sure you remember ol’ Geoffrey here.

Geoffrey: Good seeing you, Vanessa.

Vanessa: Likewise.

Bob: Heck yeah! Let the festivities begin!

-

Jonathan: This one! This is the perfect tree, right, Mom?

Nancy: Mhm. Yes, that’s nice- I’ll be right back.

Jonathan: Oh..

Bob: Alright, what’s going on? You can tell me, it’s just us guys now, and Iggy here is great at keeping secrets.

Geoffrey: Nance was so sad on our trip, sadder than usual. I haven’t seen her so low since- well, since Vanessa left. And she kept apologizing to me.

Bob: You’ve mentioned before she gets in a mood sometimes, right?

Geoffrey: Well, yeah... that’s not all. I saw these bruises on the inside of her thigh.

Bob: [eyes widen] You think she’s hurting herself?

Geoffrey: Is that it, you think? At first I thought they were- you know, hickies?

Bob: Whoa. Hickies? On Nancy?

Geoffrey: [snorts] That’s crazy, right?

Bob: You should talk to her. If she is harming herself, you should get her help, bud.

Geoffrey: And if it’s not that...

Bob: Then, that’s another kind of conversation. But this is Nancy we’re talking about. You two have been bit by the love bug since high school. I can’t imagine her having an affair with some other guy.

-

Nancy: Hi.

Vanessa: Hi.

Nancy: Sorry if I’m being...odd. I guess, I’m still getting used to seeing you.

Vanessa: I don’t think you’re being odd. I think you’re being you.

Nancy: Is that a bad thing?

Vanessa: [giggles] No, not at all. You haven’t changed and it’s refreshing.

Nancy: Ah. Well. You haven’t either. I mean..you still feel like my Vanessa.

Nancy Narrates: [All those questions I craved answers for came rushing back to me the more I looked at her. Was my loving her just a girlish memory of our past? Did she ever hear my voicemail? Was it worth mentioning after almost 2 decades apart? After I’ve already married and had children? After I’ve sworn to dedicate my all to them-]

Vanessa: So, about that dinner. Are you free tonight?

[a1ecmcdowell]

coincidence — rafe cameron x pogue!reader!

part of the short n' sweet x obx collection, found here!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤincludes, pogue!reader. cheating. sad!rafe :(. i promise i love sofia.

❛ what a surprise - your phone died, and your car drove itself from l.a. to between her thighs! ❜

you and rafe were a bit tumultuous. he loved you in private, and he loved you so much that it sometimes ached, like the sweetest form of violence. 

but in public, he could never manage to switch off the part of his brain that rejected every pogue he came across like he did when you two were alone. it was like he was more concerned about what his friends thought of him and his relationship than he did about your feelings. 

he was pulling back. you could see the signs of it in the ways he started having excuses to keep you from coming over, how his hand would subtly slip from yours when you were out together. 

and you couldn’t just pick apart his brain and fix whatever the problem was, because he didn’t talk to you enough anymore to let you in. 

you didn’t know if you were even still together, but he wouldn’t just ghost you a year into your relationship. he couldn’t. 

you’d decided the night before that you were just going to show up and demand an answer from him. it would probably be a fight, you knew; but what could hurt more than being with someone that didn’t want you any longer? 

that next morning was cloudy gray and speckled with misty raindrops. it didn’t feel like a very good omen about what was coming, but it didn’t slow your footsteps up his porch.

your hand raises to knock on the door at the same moment that it pulls open, and out stumbles — a girl. short brown hair, pretty glossed lips, wearing nothing but a pink bikini top and denim shorts. 

and behind the open door, strong hand wrapped around the edge of it, is rafe. smiling at her like he hadn���t smiled at you in weeks. 

the smile falls the moment his eyes lift to you, and the girl apologizes as she dodges running into you, and it all feels like a big fucking slap in the face. 

he’d been the best part of your life for so long. this hope that you could be more than the cut. and all of this time, he was waiting for the moment that he could dump you back off on your side of outer banks.

“why didn’t you call?” he asks, like that’s the first thing anyone should say when they’re caught cheating. 

you can’t tell if you’re more angry or hurt. both emotions feel like a hot, heavy weight sat right on your sternum. “you don’t answer anymore.” 

“because i’m busy.” 

there’s no remorse in his eyes. actually, you can’t even tell if there is, because he’s looking away from you like he’s already cut you from the picture of his life. 

“what, screwing other girls?” you snap, your voice biting and raw. 

his jaw flexes, tongue pressing into his cheek. “it’s complicated.” 

“i don’t think it is, rafe.” you shake your head, your lips pressed into a tight line. “you were cheating, and you’re mad you’re caught.” 

“oh, you think it’s that simple, huh?” he takes a step closer, his frame taking up the entirety of the doorway. “y’think overnight i just started thinking about wanting to fuck someone else?” 

you falter. no, he’s not going to get away with flipping this on its head and blaming you. making you apologize. 

“you can’t just blame me because you don’t want to take responsibility—” 

his fist slams against the wooden doorframe, and you flinch, because this really was going to be as volatile as you thought. you’d hoped that you were wrong, but you were right, and he was angry that you weren’t just some stupid little pogue he could manipulate. 

“i am taking responsibility. yeah, i fucked sofia,” he seethes through his clenched teeth, “yeah, i’ve been sneakin’ around, what the fuck else do you want to hear?” 

your arms wrap around your chest, and you have to resist the urge to stumble backwards. sofia, sofia, sofia. it plays in your head on a loop, the girl he deemed worth ruining what you had for. 

“why?” is all that you can manage to say. 

his eyes finally drop down to look at you. they’re so blue in the dawning sunrise that you wish, wish, things were different right now, so you could smooth the creases in the corners of his eyes. “m’not good for you.” 

“bullshit.” you spit it out before he’d even finished speaking. “if i thought that, i wouldn’t have stuck around as long as i have. i wouldn’t be sticking around now.” 

“you shouldn’t,” he says just as violently serious as the last, “i’m— i’m trying to push you away, sweetheart—” 

sweetheart. 

it shouldn’t affect you like it does, after how he’d just hurt you like this. but it does, of course it does, because you loved him like the sun loved the moon, and even when he was trying to break this, you’d always be in his orbit. 

“you can’t,” your voice is small as it leaves your lips, but your words aren’t, “i’m not goin’ anywhere. this is one good thing you can’t ruin. not on my watch.” 

he stares at you with that intense blue gaze of his for a long minute. the seconds tick by like hours while you wait for him to say anything. 

and he doesn’t — not with his words, anyway. his arms move from the doorway and encircle your waist, tugging you into a tight embrace. 

you’d known about how much he struggled with wanting acceptance, craving validation that he never got. you’d never expected him to be so used to rejection that he tried to cause it himself, just to be in that familiar place again. 

“m’sorry, sweetheart,” he whispers into your hair, pressing his lips to the crown of your head and leaving them there. “don’t deserve you. i don’t.” 

“you will, and you do,” you push, your fingers curling tightly against his spine. “when you go wash her perfume off of you.” 

his laugh cracks, but it’s a laugh, so you feel better about this. about him. about where he’s at in his head. “of course.” 

“and delete her number.” 

his hands raise to your face, framing it between his large palms. “already did it, baby. but you’re real cute when you’re jealous.”

[sacrednova]

Drive me home | Simon "Ghost" Riley

Fem!Reader gets the wrong number, but she REALLY needs a driver.

Part two here.

It hadn’t been a bad night—she danced, drank, laughed with her friends... But now, she was alone outside the club, searching for that Uber contact her friend had sent, fingers shaking as she tried to type the number correctly.

She nearly let out a dramatic little cry when she checked the time; it was freezing.

The vibrations of her phone in her hand came like a lifeline in the disorienting haze of neon lights, loud music, and a few too many cocktails. She blinked as a new text popped up from “Uber???” Well, that’s what she had saved him as anyway.

She squinted at the message, trying to process the details in her tipsy state. A mask? What kind of Uber driver wore a mask? She brushed it off, assuming he was just another eccentric in this city full of them. But a masked, mysterious stranger in a black truck? Right now, that sounded way better than the alley she was stuck in. Besides, she could take care of herself. Probably.

And then she saw it—a figure lurking across the street, watching her from the shadows, eyes flicking from her to his phone, and then back again. She swallowed, nerves prickling. She tried to ignore the feeling, but it lingered, crawling up her spine.

Suddenly, her fingers flew across the screen.

No reply.

She clenched her phone tighter, looking up and down the empty street, then glanced back at her screen. She could feel the rising urge to text him again and again, each message tinged with a touch more urgency.

Somewhere miles away, Simon glanced at his phone, his thumb hovering over the steering wheel. He’d put himself through hell and back in countless battlefields, facing down horrors most men would never imagine, but this? Being spammed by a random, drunk girl with a barrage of panicked messages? It was almost… comical.

What am I doing? he thought, irritation flickering under his mask. He was almost 40, practically ancient by some standards, and here he was, playing the knight in black armor for some stranger who probably didn’t even know her own last name right now.

Yet there he was, pressing down harder on the gas pedal.

The next text buzzed as he turned a corner.

The words ignited something in him, a familiar protective instinct that refused to let up. He gritted his teeth, eyes narrowing as he watched the road blur past. When he’d agreed to pick her up, it was because he didn’t trust her to make it home in one piece. He could tell she’d been drinking, and he had no patience for the kinds of creeps that lingered around clubs at this hour. But now…now it felt like a mission.

The final turn brought her into view—a small, unsteady figure with her back against a wall, clutching her phone like it was the only thing keeping her tethered to safety. And standing just a few feet away from her was the guy. Tall, with a slick smile and hands shoved in his pockets, like he had all the time in the world to wait her out.

Simon’s truck screeched to a halt, the dark engine purring like a beast as he glared through the windshield. He didn’t even need to get out; the guy’s eyes widened the moment the headlights hit him, and he took a few steps back, muttering something before disappearing into the shadows.

Simon killed the engine and got out, his towering figure partially hidden by the black mask over his face, and for a second, she stared at him, wide-eyed.

“Uh…Uber?” she said with a drunken giggle, half-nervous, half-relieved.

“Get in,” he muttered, shooting her a look as he opened the passenger door.

She clambered in, her expression melting from shock into something warm, a little playful as she buckled herself up. “Mr. Uber Driver… you’re my hero,” she slurred.

He grunted, barely acknowledging her. “Text me like that again, and I might just leave you next time.”

She smiled, eyes heavy-lidded, safe and sound in the passenger seat of his big, black truck.

[This is a first part]

[Part two here]

[we-were-beautiful]

Unraveled Ends Chapter 2

Pre chapter Shenanigans 

a/n: Sooooo long time no post but I'm here now and that's what matters. Writers block hit me like a brick wall after my last piece that I did for the riders quadrant fic exchange back in July, that piece was only supposed to be 3k in words but ended up around 7.8k. I had been working on this chapter at the same time and had roughly 2k words but after I got through the edits on the gift fic couldn't seem to string together a coherent sentence much less moving the plot forward. all my photos for the moodboard/aesthetic come from pinterest. Last bit of info is that we did pick up two beta readers for this story( but I am always open for more if people want to hop in). So big Thanks to @loving-and-dreaming and @curse-bearing-hips for reviewing this chapter. That said we are all still human so there is more than likely some mistakes. And a huge thanks to @whisplion for inspiring me to write this fic. Hope y’all enjoy  

Summary: A tailor in the heart of Velaris finds herself mated to the two most powerful fae in Prythian. Unfortunately for her the mating bond only snapped for her, leaving her to question on how to move forward. Should she wait for her mates to feel the bond or should she go ahead and reject it and live with the gaping hole in her heart  

Poly!Feysand x Reader 

Warnings: None but there is angst

WC:3.1k

The next few weeks are nothing short of hell. I didn’t know pretending like nothing is wrong would be as exhausting as it has been. It was a never ending cycle of waking up, getting ready, going to work, and coming home. At work I was dancing a fine line of hiding everything from my seamstresses and sister and failing miserably. The only small mercy that I have had was that I haven’t had to see my mates. Thank the mother for that; I don’t know how I would have reacted to seeing them so soon after the bond had snapped. Not seeing them however did nothing to dampen the feelings that the two of them would throw down the bond unknowingly. Deep down  I know that they didn’t mean to send those memories and feelings to me, but on a good day it makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know why it has gotten worse. I was fine for a year of burying the feelings that I have for the two down.

They were so happy together, and I don’t have a place in their perfect lifestyle. I thought that I had seen them around town a lot when they were just my customers but now it felt like every time I turned around they were there. It has increased since they came in to get their outfits for Starfall designed. I swear I ran into Rhys yesterday when I went to get lunch for myself. I ran into Feyre the other night while I was getting the groceries for my sisters and me. The two of them had actually approached me a week ago while I was at the park with my baby sister. They had little Nyx with them then and it felt like someone had taken a hold of my heart and started squeezing. The babe was adorable at two years of age. He's starting to reign terror on his parents who had apparently decided he needed to run off his energy at the park. The two of them are far more friendly with people than I would have liked, but mostly that friendliness was targeted towards me. As they joined me on the bench sandwiching me between them. They ended up chatting my ear off for the better part of an hour. There brushes of hands against my body that were too well placed to be incidental. It felt like a vice clamping down around my heart as I left the park with my sister to head home. Feyre had wanted me to stay a bit longer so that she could continue talking to me about my sketches. 

The physical interactions with them weren't the worst thing though. It was the images and emotions that the two had unknowingly sent down the bond. It wasn’t unusual to get a flash of lust from one of them at any given time of the day. It was inconvenient to just get hit with the overwhelming need for someone when I’m with clients. Late at night though I get the images. Of my mates tangled up in pleasure. Sometimes it was flashes of Feyre's face screwed up in pleasure; other of Rhys’s eyes alight with lust and desire. Those nights sleep was hard to come by. A few of those nights I found myself back in the shop working on my clients orders, anything to keep my mind from lingering on the two people that didn’t know I was bound to them.  I was surprised to be receiving so much from them down the bond given that both of them are powerful Demati. I figured that they would be skilled at keeping to themselves. 

Last night was one of those sleepless nights. It was a damn near endless barrage of want and need coming from both of them. If I hadn’t known that their mating bond had been accepted between them I would have assumed that they had accepted it last night. I left a note for my middle sister in the kitchen before heading to the shop in the dead of night. Being the night court, plenty of people were milling about the streets and shops in the palace of thread and jewels. Thankfully it isn’t one of the nights we keep the shop open for those who live under the stars, I could work in peace and not be bothered by anyone. No customers, no seamstresses, no nosy sisters, and most importantly no over friendly mates or their friends. 

It was wonderful to sit in the shop and do what I love with my shadows dancing around me. The shadows had been my friends since I was a very small faeling. They were more shy when I was out in public but when it is just me they come to life and sing. I had only seen two other people like me. One was my maternal grandfather who was from a court that had long since been lost; and the other was Azriel. Grandfather was able to teach me how to control the shadows and use them to my advantage. But he also told me to keep the gift to myself. Shadowsingers had long been coveted by the courts to be used as spies; and he and my parents were worried that the former High Lord would have conscripted me into his spy network if it was ever found out. I had successfully kept it a secret for nearly 400 years. Though times like this, when the shop is closed and I have the room to myself, I let them loose. A soft smile grows on my face as I watch the playful shadows dance about the room. A few of them try to be helpful by handing me tools and instruments that I need as I work on Feyre’s Starfall gown. 

Feyre’s dress had been coming along beautifully. She had come in for a fitting last week where we were checking the fit on the mock up. The High Lady had all but begged to have a similar fabric to my own. We had more of the fabric left; thank gods for that; the last thing I wanted to do was take a trip to the Autumn court to source more. I lose track of time working on the dress; so much so that I didn’t realize the sun had risen until I heard the lock on the door turn. 

“Sis, are you still here?” Genevieve calls out. Of course she came here. “I saw your note on the counter this morning. I dropped Itty bitty off at school and brought breakfast.” 

I sigh and set my things down to make my way out of the work room. Genevieve stands in the room looking so much like our mother; hair tied up in a worn red scarf, a dark red linen shirt and comfortable leather trousers. Ready for a day at the blacksmith. In her hands she balances a bag of what I assume is the breakfast and two cups in the other. 

“Your shadows are so helpful I’m jealous.” She passes me one of the cups and I take a sniff and immediately am greeted by the comforting scent of coffee “ Were you here all night again?” 

It's not hard to hear the concern in her voice as she takes a once over of me. 

“Yes” I responded, taking a sip of the delicious coffee that she had brought. 

“Ok what is going on with you.” She cocks her head to the side “It seems like you have been stressed this past year. Well more so than normal. This is starting to get worrisome. The number of times you have left the house in the middle of the night and worked through to morning is ridiculous.”

“What’s going on? I know it's not money since I help with the books and we have two sources of income coming in.” She takes a breath. “You can talk to me Sis.” 

“Let's go into the office. The ladies should be coming in soon.” I led her into my office not wanting to state what was going on when one of my employees could walk in. Once we are in the office I gesture for her to take a seat in front of my desk. I take a seat and my chair, bones creaking as I sit on the soft leather. She fixes me with a look telling me to start talking. 

“So I met my mates.” I sigh running a hand through my hair 

“You met your mate. That's good news right.” She starts rifling through the bag of food 

“Mates. Two of them.” She stops looking up at me 

“Two. Is that possible?” Her eyebrows nearly disappear into her hairline. 

“It is.” I lean back in my chair. “Incredibly rare but possible.” 

“So let me repeat my earlier question. That’s good news right?” 

“It’s complicated.” I bite my lower lip “The two of them are already mated. Sealed the bond and everything. But the bond only snapped for me.” 

“They don’t know.” Her voice drops in concern 

“No,they don’t.” 

“So what is stressing you out about it? You wouldn’t be leaving the house in the middle of the night over nothing?” 

“They are sending things down the bond. Images, emotions; it’s driving me crazy Gen.” 

“Shit, well can you block them out.” Mom had taught the two of us how to shield from Demati when we were younger. 

“I’ve tried; it only is able to dull it.” I fidget in my seat.  “It also doesn’t help that I keep seeing the two of them every time I go out into the city.” 

“Oh..” She hesitates “Do you mind if I ask who it is.?”  I quickly sent a few shadows out to make sure that the shop was still empty and that there were no busy bodies lurking around the shop. 

“It's the High Lord and Lady.” This was the first time I had ever said those words out loud. I guess I had thought that if I didn’t say it then I could pretend it wasn’t real and that it didn’t bother me. Gen lets out a low whistle.

“That does complicate things. I was going to tell you to grow a pair and tell them but fuck. The High Lord and Lady that… that makes things way more complex.” 

“You see why I am stressed now.” I can feel the ugly emotions filling my chest.

“Yeah, you are in the world's shittiest situation.” She lets out a sigh “It's not like you can go up to them and say hey I am your mate. Fuck I am sorry Sis.” 

I let out a wet laugh, a few tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks “ There’s nothing for you to apologize for. I just got dealt a shitty hand by the mother.” 

“Are you going to…” She trails off. I know what she was going to say though. It wasn’t something that was talked about often and not in polite company. Rejecting the bond. 

“It’s an option, and I am considering it. I want to ask a few friends of mine in Day about it first though. Since it hasn’t snapped for them they shouldn’t notice but I would like some confirmation first.” It helped that I had friends in other courts that I could gather information from; and there was no better place for information than  the Day Court.

“I will support whatever decision you make. You deserve to be happy Sis, and if your happiness is achieved by breaking the bond then do it.” 

The conversation between us dies after that as she passes me a blueberry muffin from the bag. Seems she stopped by our favorite bakery before heading over here. Time seems to fly too quickly and all too soon Gen has to leave for work leaving me here by myself. Although I’m not on my own for too much longer as my employees start trickling in.

The day seems to stretch on and on as clients make their way into the shop for fittings or to pick up their orders. The dull chatter of my employees and the various customers buzzes in my ears as I methodically pull a small needle through water-like silk. It's hard to make out any distinguishable conversation from behind my office door. Today seems like one of those days when time is just suspended and I can work in peace. There is a quiet content hum from my mates bond; one of the few times that I haven't felt heightened emotions from either of them. 

A soft knock shatters the silence of the office, effectively breaking the spell of tranquility that had fallen over me 

“Come in.” My voice cracks just a bit from not using it. The door squeaks open as a familiar head of midnight hair pokes in. Violet eyes twinkle in amusement as a smile grows across his stupidly handsome face. 

“Sweetheart!” The door swings open the rest of the way as Rhysand swaggers his way into my office like he owns it. I am quick to stand from my desk. 

“High lord.” I give him a polite curtsy, slamming my mental shields up before meeting his gaze

“How many times do I have to tell you it's Rhys?” He laughs before taking a seat in one of the leather chairs in front of my desk. “ So are you ready for my fitting or should I come back later.”  

Shit… Shit shit shit. I had completely forgotten that he was on my books for his second fitting today. It wasn’t like I was completely unprepared. No his suit was ready for the fitting but I was nowhere near mentally prepared for a fitting and not having slept the night before was going to be the actual death of me. 

“No, you are fine.” I move from behind the desk “Let me go grab your suit and we will get you out of here in no time.” 

“No need to rush, I quite enjoy your company.” I cannot afford to focus on my racing heart right now. I need to get him out of this shop as quickly as possible. I move through the back of the shop with practiced ease quickly locating the High Lord’s suit hanging neatly next to the High Lady’s gown. The two pieces were works of art in themselves that compliment each other. The suit as dark as the night sky embossed fabric giving the illusion of swirling depths. The dress flowed off the hanger like liquid moonlight, the delicate silk the identical twin to my own gown. Small gems sewn into the bodice catch and reflect the light like the stars that will make their journey across the sky on Starfall. For as much as I don’t want to care about the two, these pieces tell a different story. If I wasn’t just a little bit attached to the two of them I would have passed the designs along to another dressmaker and been done with it; but now I painstakingly designed and sewn these garments for my mates. I let out a small sigh before reaching up to grab the suite. Once I get back to my office I am quick to pass the suit off to Rhys directing him to the small changing area at the back of the office. I quickly begin to route around my desk for my supplies.  

An hour, all I have to do is make it an hour and then I will be free of Rhysand for the time being. It feels like forever before he walks out from behind the curtain. It is only years of working with Rhysand that keeps me from gasping out. If the suit was beautiful on the hanger and dress form it is absolutely stunning on the male it was made for. Rhys makes his way over to the platform and mirror in the office stepping up before moving to fuss with the cuffs. 

“This is a beautiful suit Sweetheart.” He moves to pick off the smallest piece of lint on the  collar. I move to stand behind him to begin the process of adjusting the way the suit sits on Rhysand.

We continued the song and dance that we had done for many years to get the suit to fit him perfectly. I can't help the small ache in my chest as I circle around him placing pins and chalk lines where minute alterations need to be made. Rhys is beaming the whole time chatting away like we hadn’t seen each other just the other day. I can feel the long day in my bones, my hands ache from the countless hours of work. My fingertips are raw from the amount of times I have jammed pins and needles into them. While I try to appropriately match Rhys energy, it's easy to tell that he isn’t buying the act. 

“You seem tired.” He arches a brow at me as I move to pin the hem of his pants. 

“My mates kept me up last night.” A mischievous glint grows in his violet eyes.

“Oh. They kept you up .” He teased but hidden in the back of his teasing tone seemed to be a bit of jealousy… possessiveness. 

“Yeah the two of them kept sending all of their emotions down the bond last night.” I sigh looking up at him from my spot on the floor 

“Two mates…” He stumbles with his words. He hasn’t done that since he was a teen and I was helping my father with his fitting “The mother has blessed you.” 

“Blessed or cursed.” I put the pins down. 

“Cursed.” He questions

“The bond only snapped for me.” A small sad smile grows on my face.  My mental shields are intact and stronger than ever and it's not like I can tell Rhys that he and Feyre are my mates. 

“Have you told them?” He questions, holding a hand out to help me from the floor 

“No. The two of them have already sealed the bond and have started their own perfect little family.” It feels like an Illyrian has punched me in the gut as I make this confession to him “I don’t want to ruin that for them.” 

“So what are you planning to do?” He tilts his head looking at me in sympathy “ Because you seem to have wilted these past few months. 

“I have a few things I am thinking about doing. I want to seek out a few friends in Day first before committing to it.”

“Committing to what Sweetheart?” he gazes at me with concern 

“Breaking the bond.” And as those words leave my lips you can see the color drain from his face.

Tag list: @rachelnicolee @goldenmagnolias @jesssicapanigua @sweetorangeblossom @cat-or-kitten @alowint @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @coldpeachkitten @esposadomd @araneea92 @saltedcoffeescotch @persephonesalvatore

[angstywaifu]

Black Dahlia - 17. Jealousy

Summary: Xaden and Garrick get their squads together to train, leading to some jealousy with someone unexpected.

A/N: I'm so sorry for the long delay on Dahlia. Kinktober took priority, but we are back in full force. I wrote so many parts in the last 24 hours for this, and I can't wait for you guys to see what I'm building up to in a few parts! Garrick Tavis x OC (Dahlia Aetos)

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist

“I don’t know why you won’t give him a chance.” Liz says in an airy tone.

I turn to see her staring at Garrick and Xaden who have gone shirtless for their sparring warm up. And she wasn’t the only one. There were more cadets here than normal for our night training session. Since bonding dragons it seemed a lot of the first years were wanting to make sure they kept their seat. And every single girl in the room was starting at them.

I can’t help but let my eyes wander as I look over at them. Garrick was by far the most muscular guy in the quadrant. As if every muscle had been carved from stone. I shake my head in attempt to get those thoughts out of my head before turning back to watch Imogen spar with another first year.

“I won’t give him a chance, because he won’t give me a chance.” I reply bitterly.

“I mean, can you blame the guy? You’ve seen how your brother and father treat the other marked ones.” Liz murmurs, still lost in a trance as she watches them spar.

“I am not my brother and my father.” I nearly snap at her, my typical anger rising to the surface at being compared to them.

“Trust me, we know. Even if you were an angsty bitch when we first met you.” Austin teases from my other side, dodging my attempt to shove her away.

“Thanks? Not sure if that was a compliment or an insult.” I say as I narrow my eyes at her slightly.

”Let’s go with both.” Bodhi says as he walks over and joins us, Garrick and Xaden close behind him.

I keep my eyes focused on Bodhi as I jokingly glare at him, but out of the corner of my eye I feel Garrick staring at me. Ever since our interaction in the hallway I’d felt his eyes on me more. Almost as if challenging me to take the bait he’d laid out the other day. Which I was not. Yes I could admit he was attractive, especially while he stood there shirtless with his freaking muscles on full display as they glisten with a slight sheen of sweat. But even if I did get along with him, I was not becoming another notch in his bed post.

”Alright everyone, pair up with someone and start going through some weapon practice.” Xaden advises as he looks over us.

Tonight both his and Garrick’s squads were training together. Apparently a good way to broaden our training by going up against people we didn’t really know. Naturally Imogen tagged along even though she wasn’t in either squad. She made a habit of turning up whenever we were here. She kept saying it was coincidence, but I was starting to think it really wasn’t. Our squads start pairing off, Liz and Austin pairing up as if on auto pilot. They worked well together as they were a similar skill level, often complaining Bodhi and I were too difficult to go up against.

I go to follow Bodhi, but a large figure steps into my path and I’m forced to look up at Garrick. ”How about you and I pair up little Aetos?” His voice laced with a mocking tone as he looks down at me.

I roll my eyes and scoff at him. “No thanks, wouldn’t want to catch something from being too close to you.” I snap back, causing Bodhi and Imogen to snicker at my comment, Xaden’s eyes going wide as he looks between us.

”You’re just scared I’ll finally show you up.” He mocks, arms crossing over his chest as he cocks his head to the side.

An idea forms in my head. A stupid idea. And I silently hope he doesn’t follow through with it as the words leave my mouth. “If you’re so confident about that maybe you should challenge me once challenges start back up. Unless you’re scared I’ll prove you wrong again?”

Another round of snickers pick up around us, Garrick’s brow furrowing as he glares down at me. Clearly me proving him wrong all those weeks ago was still a sore spot for him, and I couldn’t help but smirk at him before pushing past him and dragging Bodhi with me.

”You know he’s going to end up doing that and he’s going to kick your ass in front of everyone?” Bodhi whispers as I lead us over to a spot on the far side of the room.

”He’s not going to kick my ass in front of everyone.” I throw back at him as I grab a sword from the weapons rack.

I turn around to see Bodhi looking at me like I’m an idiot. “Clearly you don’t know him very well, or you’re delusional on the size difference between you two.”

”And he also doesn’t know me very well.” I point out, Bodhi eyeing the sword I’m waving around cautiously as if worried I’m going to hurt him or myself with it.

”Maybe if you-”

”Nope, not happening.” I say before settling into a fighting stance.

Bodhi clearly takes it as a sign this conversation wasn’t going any further, his shoulders sagging in defeat before walking over to grab his own sword. As soon as he settles into a fighting stance I launch myself at him, Bodhi flailing to keep up with me. Each of my strikes fuelled with the hint of anger that had risen to the surface from my interaction with Garrick and words with Bodhi.

Bodhi didn’t deserve how hard I was going at him, but I needed to let out my frustrations somehow. Everyone was so adamant I give the lumbering oaf a chance. But why should I when he wouldn’t give me one? Since the day I’d walked across the parapet, he’d made up his mind about me. Had lumped me in with my brother and father without even a second thought.

Poor Bodhi is quick to succumb to my attacks, my leg kicking his out from beneath him as he falls to the floor with a loud thud as his sword clangs loudly on the ground as I point the tip of mine at his neck.

Bodhi just shakes his head and laughs. “Remind me to never piss you off again.”

”You’ll be fine.” I tease as I move my sword from his neck as I hold out my free hand to him.

He grasps his around mine before pushing off the ground to help me pull him up. Clearly still wobbly from his fall he stumbles into me as he rights himself, causing him and I to laugh at his clumsiness.

“You sure? I nearly just made a fool of myself by nearly sending us plummeting to the floor.”

”Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve made a fool of yourself.”

Bodhi laughs as he playfully shoves me away before releasing my hand and heading over to get a drink of water from his pack. As he moves my eyes fall on Garrick who hasn’t moved an inch, except to turn and look over at us. But for once his glare and eyes aren’t trained on me. They’re focused on Bodhi. And it almost looks like he wants to murder him.

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94 @the-fandom-ness @fan-of-many-bands @awkardnerd

[honeyjars-sims]

3.35 Sticky Situation

It’s the second day of our camping trip and I’m realizing that even when she’s on vacation, Lucy is still in work mode. With the spotty cell service on the mountain, she’s not able to do any actual work so she’s channeling all of her energy into making sure things run smoothly on the trip.

She was up before the rest of us this morning cleaning up our mess from the night before and now that everyone’s awake, she’s been looking for things to do. “We should gather more firewood,” she says.

“We have all day to do that,” I tell her. “Just relax. This is a vacation, remember?”

“I know, but I can’t relax when there are things that need to be done. I always get like this when I’m…on vacation.” I have a feeling there’s more going on but before I can ask her about it, Paul jumps in.

“Well, if you can’t relax until things are done, then at least let someone else do it,” he insists. He turns to me. “John and I can gather up some firewood while you get in some relaxation.”

I start to protest the suggestion–I always hate it when I get roped into hard labor just because I’m a guy–but Lucy looks so relieved that I decide to let it go. “Yeah, we’ll take care of it,” I say instead, and Paul and I head off into the woods.

We barely make it a few feet before Paul starts droning on about how you want to make sure you get the right type of wood, and you have to make sure the pieces you pick aren’t too wet, and blah, blah, blah. “Yeah, yeah,” I cut in. “If I have to do this, then I’m gonna do it my way.”

“Oh? What’s your way? If you have any insights, I’m happy to hear them.”

“It’s pretty simple. Is this wood? If yes, then I pick it up.”

“Hmm, ok,” he says, sounding uncertain. “I suppose we’ll see how that goes tonight.” 

“I guess we will.”

“You’re kind of competitive aren’t you?” he asks.

I feel my face growing hot, remembering how I tried–and failed–to show him up on our last hiking trip. “Uh, not really,” I mutter.

“Oh, so, it’s just with me then?” His words would sound confrontational if not for the softness of his tone. He seems more curious than argumentative.

“Look, I’m sorry about all of that. I was just feeling a little insecure with all of the attention you were getting from the girls. I’m trying to be more mature about it, though.”

“Ahh, the girls,” he replies. “That’s what that was about. I don’t see what you’re so insecure about, though.”

“Well, I mean, you’re going to be a doctor, and you’re more athletic than I am.” Spelling out my insecurities isn’t exactly making me feel better about them. 

Paul shrugs. “I don’t even start med school until the fall,” he counters. “Besides, you had everyone laughing and that’s something I’ve never been good at. In fact, I’m famous in my family for telling the worst jokes.”

“Oh, really?” I ask, excited for an opportunity to pass on some advice about something I’m good at. “In my opinion, the main thing people get wrong about comedy is that they try too hard to be funny instead of just finding opportunities naturally.”

“You think so? Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.”

“It could be. Go ahead, just say what comes to mind without thinking too much about whether or not it’s funny.”

“Uh, ok, what’s brown and sticky?” he asks.

“I don’t know, what is it?”

“A stick!”

This is not a good joke. Like objectively it’s not, but he has this huge grin on his face like he’s standing on stage at a sold out comedy show, and I can’t help but laugh with him. Not in a mean way; he’s so pleased with himself that it’s kind of endearing. “It was good?” he asks eagerly.

“Well…” I choose my words carefully. “Maybe the joke wasn’t the best, but I think you have the right attitude. I’m sure if you start looking out for the humor in different situations then it’ll start coming naturally to you.”

“Ok, well, thanks for the feedback.”

“No problem. We should probably start gathering up that wood. What did you say we should look for again?”

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[onlyjjong]

엔하이픈 --- EMAILS I NEVER MEANT TO SEND (PART 1)

　　 박성훈　 x　 fem!reader　x 　심재윤 　　┊　　a very late and long birthday gift for jennifer!! :> 　　┊　　 wc 3.9k

GENERE　┊ 　!oneshot, !nonidol , !fluff , !hints of angst , !high school, !childhood best friends to lovers , !best friend's brother , !love triangle , !hockey player sunghoon , !basketball player jake , !academic weapon reader

DISCLAIMER 　┊ 　depictions may be inaccurate , contains swear words, y/n is lee heeseung's sister , sunghoon calls y/n 'princess' , y/n calls jake 'jaeyun' , mentions of ocs and random characters here and there.

⟡ 📩 𑁋 TAGGING : @a-dream-bookmark , @/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Sunghoon,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry if this will clog up your inbox, but I heard from Jay that you don’t really use this email address anymore. So I’m going to send everything here. 

Sent 22:45 PM. 1st August. 

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Sunghoon, 

Today is our last first day of school. Ever. It’s insane, isn’t it? I’ve known you ever since we started school, which was 12 years ago. Absurd, is it not? 

I remember vividly how we met. Or, more correctly, how our friendship started. 

It was a cold December evening. I remembered walking home from the convenience store, carrying a plastic bag of ice creams and popsicles. I thought about how foolish I looked—a small and petite seven-year-old kid buying ice cream in the thick of winter—but how could I resist? My older brother, Heeseung, lost a bet against me and he said he’d buy me anything I wanted from the convenience store. 

And, of course, as a seven year-old, I chose to buy ice cream.

Anyway, as I was waddling home, I saw you. Sitting outside of what I didn’t know back then was your house. Your face was wet with tears, the tip of your ears red from the cold. I remember specifically the moment—I cheerfully said ‘hi’, pouted when you didn’t answer and simply stared deep into my eyes. I then handed you an ice cream—the one with lime jelly inside, my favourite one—to help brighten the grim look upon your face. 

And, of course, I remember so vividly, the smile that lit up your cute face. 

I didn’t even ask what went wrong. I don’t know why—maybe it was the instincts of a kindergartener. It’s as if the universe was telling me that the only thing you yearned for at that moment was something to simply rejoice your mood. 

For the first time, Sunghoon, I felt warm on a winter day. 

Sent 23:09 PM. 9th August. 

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Hoon, 

I think Beomgyu likes me. This is weird. 

He’s the same age as Heeseung oppa. Isn’t that already weird? (I know my age difference with Heeseung is only two years)

I’ve practically grown up with Beomgyu—dinners on Thursday nights with him is now something my family does every week. I see him like family, Sunghoon. 

Like my own brother. 

He came to pick me up from school today, tagging along with Hee oppa. We rode home with his car, and I couldn’t help but feel that the constant eye contact in the car we made meant something. 

We hung out today, like we always do. I’m glad that I have a good relationship with Hee oppa, but I’m a bit sceptical of Beomgyu. He’s a little bit more… nicer in a sense. 

It may just be me overthinking things. 

Sent 20:54 PM. 13th August. 

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Sunghoon, 

Thank you for the chocolate moist cake, by the way! It’s really good—I love your mom’s cooking. 

Okay, before you scold me—yes, I’m going to go and get ready! You’re coming at 16:30, so technically I still have around 30 minutes to pick out an outfit—and it’s not like we’re going on a date. We’re going to a cafe to study. 

Why am I even thinking of going on a date with you?

Sent 16:07 PM. 14th August.

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Sunghoon, 

Why are you so good-looking? 

Oh and I want to thank Jaeyun for playing basketball in class and accidentally throwing the ball at my face—now I get to see you up close. 

Since when are you so… handsome, Hoon?

Thanks for saving me. I would’ve hit the floor and cracked my skull if it wasn’t for you. 

Sent 17:01 PM. 19th August.

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Park Sunghoon!

I have a brilliant idea for Halloween!

Yes, I know it’s still very early and we have to focus on upcoming midterms (it’s in like five weeks or something, Hoon) but… I’ve just finished re-watching Kiki’s Delivery Service and we have to absolutely dress up as Kiki and her cat for Halloween. 

Who’s who, you’re asking?

I’m Kiki, of course, and you’re the cat. Because you look like one, and it’s cute. 

You’re… cute. (Why am I acting like I do not have a crush on you, that is growing bigger and bigger each day?)

Now I just have to find some kind of way to gather up courage and tell you. Actually, I have a question for myself. Am I insane? Why am I scared to suggest something so platonic to my childhood best friend?

Sent 12:00 PM, 31st August.

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Sunghoon,

I’m sure you know this by now, but hoco’s in a week. Do you have anyone to go with? 

Gosh, I feel so pathetic. I’m sitting in my room, like a complete idiot, typing away emails that convey my feelings. Emails, Hoon, that the person I like will most likely never read. 

I mean, I could’ve written letters… or confessed in person… or text you about this. But, yeah, despite holding the title of one of Decelis Academy’s best students for two years straight (I must get valedictorian this year), I’m sending emails to an unused email instead of confessing directly to the person I like.

Funny, ‘cause the person I’m referring to—the person I like, it’s you.

There’s a 99% chance you’ll never read these, since the email address I’m sending this to is your old one, the one you used in middle school—with a silly username that made people think your name is ‘Park Sungho’ instead of ‘Park Sunghoon’. 

Again, do you have anyone to go with?

I’m asking, ‘cause if you don’t, I’m here. I’ll go with you.

Actually, scrap that.

I want to go with you.

Sent 9:00 AM, 1st September. 

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Sunghoon, Mom just asked if I got a date for homecoming. What should I say? I mean, it’s not like I don’t have any potential candidates—Jaeyun’s been hinting to go with me for a while. Poor him, honestly. I keep on ignoring him…

Also, Naeun told me that Huening Kai from 12-2 is planning to ask me if I want to go to homecoming with him tomorrow. 

Well, if you’re asking me, I could go with Jaeyun or Kai. It doesn’t really matter—Jaeyun’s really nice, he treats me well. He plays basketball too, and I’m sure he’ll show up with flowers or something (that’s what Danielle, his twin sister, said). Kai seems okay, too, I’ve heard rumours about him being ridiculously handsome if he wants to. I’m not entirely sure what that means.

But, deep inside my heart, I know just perfectly who I want to go with. 

You. 

Just… you.

Sent 13:43 PM, 1st September. 

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Hoon!

30 minutes ago, I saw Heeseung come home with purple flowers and a bunch of chocolate. Something clicked inside my head as I knew something was up—something related to my friend, Jennie Danielle Sim, as her favourite colour is purple and she LOVES chocolate.

Okay, anyway, I rushed downstairs to ask him what that was all about. 

And guess what? Heeseung’s planning to ask her to homecoming! 

I’m kicking my feet in the air as I’m writing this. 

Though, you know, I wish I had someone like my brother. I mean, someone who’s going to love me like I’m the only woman in his mind. Like I’m the only one that matters, and that he loves me with his entire existence. 

Don’t ask me why I wish for that someone to be you. 

It’s weird. It’s bad. I’m not supposed to like my own best friend. 

Sent 17:55 PM, 1st September. 

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“Y/N!” 

You turn around, curious to see Jake running towards you from the school gate. You wait for him patiently—and unsurprisingly, he barely took a few seconds to catch up to you. 

“Hey,” he greets you tenderly, slightly out of breath. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” you smile. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” the brunette replies, offering you the goofiest smile you’ve ever seen. “Just wanted to walk with you. Where’s Sunghoon?”

“He’s probably on his way, still,” you answer, glancing at the time on your smartphone. 

7:15 AM.

“Sunghoon should arrive soon. He usually comes to school exactly at twenty past seven,” you continue. “I honestly have no idea why. He wants to come to school earlier than half past seven, but not earlier than quarter past seven.”

Jake chuckles at your little rant about Sunghoon. “He’s one attentive person, I guess.”

“Surely,” you nod, mentally slapping yourself for smiling about such a small talk about Sunghoon. 

“Come on, let’s walk to class,” Jake says, “we’ll wait for Sunghoon there—do you want any drinks? You know, like coffee or tea. Banana milk, maybe?” 

You begin walking with Jake, footsteps in sync, to your homeroom. “Drinks? This early in the morning?”

“You look like you haven’t eaten anything for breakfast,” Jake replies. He grabs your wrist and pulls you towards the cafeteria—straying away from the path to your homeroom. His eyes quickly scan for any snacks or lightweight meals he could buy for you. 

“Jae,” you say, purposely using a nickname you never use (and probably will never do again) to grab his attention. “You don’t have to buy me anything, you know.”

Jake, who’s deep in engagement with the cashier, perks up at the nickname. He turns around and gives you a grin, “yeah, I know I don’t have to. I just want to.”

“Here,” he hands you a kimbap and a box of mango yoghurt drink, the silly grin still on his face. That grin you always see Jake offer you. “Eat up.”

“Thanks,” you reply with a smile, marvelling at how delicious the kimbap in your hand looks. 

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7:35 AM.

“Hoon!” you exclaim, jumping out of your seat so abruptly it startles Jake—who’s reading a comic book next to you. You race towards your best friend at the door. Sunghoon, despite his usual nonchalant demeanour, gives you a small and brief smile.

“Hi,” he utters in his customary tone—deep and quiet. “You’re early.”

“Not really,” you reply with a bubbly smile. 

“Have you eaten breakfast?” you ask as the two of you walk to your desks. “You’re 5 minutes late, by the way.”

Sunghoon lets out a chuckle, “I forgot you assume that I can teleport from the school gates right to the front of the class.”

Your cheeks flush warm, “no! I’m just saying… you usually come at half past seven. Like, exactly. Did something happen?”

Sunghoon pulls his chair out of his desk and sits down. Smirking, he comments, “Y/N, are you my girlfriend or something? You sound like it.”

His words make both you and Jake choke on thin air. 

I wish, you think to yourself.

“Hoon!” you stammer, “what the hell?”

“Sorry,” he says in between gasps of silent, ‘Sunghoon’-type laughter. “Couldn’t defeat my intrusive thoughts.”

“So,” you begin, changing the topic of the conversation so flawlessly. It’s always been that way—nothing is ever really complicated with Sunghoon. You could talk about ten different topics in under five minutes; and he’d listen to it all. “Have you thought about who you’re bringing to homecoming?”

Homecoming. A topic that makes your stomach turn upside down—knowing that, given the current situation, you’d be going with Jake instead of Sunghoon. 

And as expected, the two boys seated around you look up. 

“Nope,” Sunghoon’s reply is simple. 

“You? The golden hockey player of Decelis, haven’t thought about who to bring to homecoming?” Jake exclaims, with a touch of drama. 

Sunghoon chuckles. “It’s just homecoming. I could bring anyone.”

That ‘anyone’ broke your heart just a little bit. If he could bring anyone, that possibly meant he wouldn’t bring you—there are many other girls, much prettier and livelier than you, that he could bring. 

“You, Y/N?” Jake asks, “who are you going with?”

“I don’t know,” you reply after some time. 

You watch as Sunghoon opens his mouth to speak, yet is fiercely cut off by Jake’s relaxed comment. 

“You know, you could always go with me,” he says with a careless smile, leaning back into his chair. 

Sunghoon stiffens while you awkwardly smile. This was the first time Jake had directly brought it up—his requests and subtle hints of going to homecoming with you had always been through Danielle. “Actually, I’m probably not going to homecoming.”

“Why?” Jake asks. 

“Um…”

To be frank, despite being active in clubs, and being seemingly social, you dislike big social events. Especially the likes of homecoming or prom. There’s something about large crowds that makes you feel slightly out of place, and the fact that you’re surrounded by couples… just makes you a little sappy.

“Y/N doesn’t really like those kinds of events,” replies Sunghoon, his gaze directed to Jake a little too sharp than you’d like. 

“Hoon,” you lament, nudging him with your elbow. 

“If you’re asking her out,” Sunghoon continues, his nonchalant expression morphing onto his face, “you should know.”

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“OI! PRINCESS!” SUNGHOON CALLS FROM BEHIND YOU, OBLIVIOUS OF YOUR WIDENED EYES AND ACCELERATING HEARTBEAT DUE TO THE NICKNAME.

You turn around and stop in your tracks, letting him catch up. “Yeah?”

He adjusts the placement of his varsity jacket—his pride, earned by qualifying into the school’s varsity hockey team—before he speaks. “Are you really not going to homecoming?”

You purse your lips before nodding.

To me, there’s really no use of going to homecoming without you, Hoon, you think to yourself. 

“Yeah, no. I’m not. Why?”

Sunghoon shoves his hands into his pockets. “N-nothing, I was just curious.”

Embarrassed, you quickly nod. “Okay.”

“Yeah,” he gives you a smile, ruffling your hair. “Get back home safely. Text me when you’ve arrived home.”

“But you’ll be at practice–”

“It’s okay,” Sunghoon cuts you off, flashing you a soft, reassuring smile. One that makes your heart lap a million miles per hour. “I’ll read it anyway. They can’t get rid of me—I’m Decelis’ best bet at winning this season.”  

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Hoon…

What was that? That was weird. Really weird. I don’t like it. 

Why did you ask me if I was really not going to hoco? Are you going to ask someone out, and not want them to think we’re friends? 

I… you know, what? I’m not going to think about it anymore. I don’t care. 

Just… ask out anyone you want to. Even if it’s not me. 

Even if it’s me. This possibility doesn’t quite make sense, as I don’t think you do see me the way I… see you. My saviour, the person who knows me best, the person I’ve developed feelings for. 

You know what, Hoon?

I’ll go with Jaeyun, if there are no signs of you asking me to go with you. By Wednesday.

Sent 18:01 PM. 2nd September.

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“HONESTLY, Y/N, I ADMIRE YOU,” DANIELLE SAYS SUDDENLY, CAUSING YOU TO ALMOST SPIT OUT YOUR LUNCH.

You’re sitting at the usual spot you usually do with your girlfriends—Danielle and Naeun—people-watching as each of you devour your lunches. Danielle sits in front of you while Naeun sits on your left side. Danielle, as usual, has her lunch of various goodies from the convenience store; and Naeun, like you, stick to what the school cafeteria serves.

“What? Why?”

“I admire the way you don’t even care if you have a hoco date,” she continues. 

“Oh, God,” you exhale shakily. “Dani, you scared me! And yes, I don’t care. If I don’t have a date, then I don’t have to go.”

Lie. 

Kind of.

Actually, a very small part of you wanted to go to homecoming—just for the experience. But again, you’re reminded by the fact that you do not have a date, or at least, the person that you want to go to isn’t your date. 

“Why do you not want to go?” Naeun, from your left, asks. She gulps down the last bit of her strawberry milkshake before continuing. “I mean, I know you’re the top student, and you don’t party ‘cause all you do is shove your nose into a book and study. But, Y/N, it’s your last homecoming.”

You dramatically groan, “you girls know why I hate hoco. Looking at all the couples around me makes me wanna barf.”

Naeun and Danielle burst into laughter, clutching their stomachs. Amused, you grin along.

“I can’t relate anymore,” Danielle giggles. “I’ve got–”

Naeun hits Danielle’s head lightly with her fork. “Okay, girl, we get it,” she turns to you, flipping hair off her shoulders. “Y/N, honestly, how does it feel when your best friend’s dating your brother?”

“We’re not dating!” Danielle shrieks. Naeun rolls her eyes.

You laugh, “honestly, it is kind of weird hearing someone talk so… fondly, I might say, of Hee oppa. Frankly, Dani, Hee oppa is not who you think he is.”

“He’s amazing,” gushes Danielle. One look at her face, and an exchanged glance between you and Naeun, was enough to tell that Danielle’s completely smitten. 

“For now,” Naeun quickly adds. “Though, if he starts treating you like trash, or making you shed a sad tear, I won’t hesitate to burn his house down.”

“Hey!” you exclaim, despite agreeing with Naeun. Your brother or not, you’d destroy his life if he made your best friend sad. “Where am I going to live if you burn our house down?”

“Sucks to be Heeseung’s sister, huh?” Naeun jests. 

“You can live with me,” Danielle adds on to the joke, “Jaeyun’s going to be delighted to have you live with us.”

“Mhm, that reminds me, are you finally going to go to hoco with Jake?” Naeun asks. 

“Yeah, are you?” Danielle urges. “I swear, it is so annoying hearing him talk about you. It’s weird—aren’t you guys friends?”

You shove another dumpling into your mouth. “Yeah, we are… hmm, it is weird, now that you say it.”

“Reject him if you don’t want to,” Naeun suggests. “Pity him. He’s been on your tail for like weeks now, trying to get you as his homecoming date.”

“He’s liked you for quite some time,” Danielle says softly. “Well, trust me, it’s weird—but I do want you to decide quickly. If you don’t want to go with him, just say so.”

“I’m not sure what to do,” you say. “I… don’t want to risk losing a friend by rejecting him.”

Honestly, that’s how you feel with Sunghoon, too. Your friendship, strong and unbreakable for more than a decade, was the sole reason you’re afraid to confess your true feelings to him. 

On the other hand, however, you feel extremely weirded out by Jake. You started befriending him in early sophomore year, when he was first assigned as your deskmate. You remember him being as bubbly and friendly as he is now, and you’re sure that the two of you became friends because of that.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Danielle pats your shoulder. “I know him best to assure you that he’s not the type to break off a friendship just because his feelings aren’t reciprocated.”

Now, you feel a little less bad to tell Jaeyun (or Jake, to most people) that you’re going to go as his date only if Sunghoon’s not asking you too.

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“SO, HOW WAS PRACTICE?” YOU ASK SUNGHOON, SLIGHTLY SMILING AT HOW THE THUNK OF YOUR FOOTSTEPS COINCIDE.

Sunghoon tilts his head for a moment, trying to form his words. He then looks at you before replying, “yeah, it was okay. Nothing really interesting.”

“What about that newbie—what’s his name again?” you ask, recalling about Sunghoon telling you that they were having a few new players.

“Riki? The freshie?”

“Yeah!” you nod, “that one!”

“He’s okay,” replies Sunghoon, “he’s good, actually, for a freshman. I heard he played in middle school, so I guess that’s where the skills come from.”

You nod again, and comfortable silence engulfs the two of you. The crunch of autumn leaves beneath your steps and the gentle breeze creates a fulfilling ambiance. 

“What about you?��� he asks, after a few moments of silence—of you basking in his presence, enjoying the present of walking home with him. “I can’t imagine how hard it is to balance being our batch’s top scorer and orchestra at the same time.”

You chuckle. It had been hard on a few occasions; for example, if you had an orchestra concert to practise for, and around the same had tests to study for. But, generally, it’s quite simple. “Violin’s just a hobby of mine. I’m glad I have an orchestra club as a way to practise it.”

“Oh, shut up,” Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “Don’t ever come to me and complain about it, then, if it’s ‘just a hobby’.”

You laugh, stealing a glance at Sunghoon. And, as always, it hits you. You dislike, probably just a little bit, how carefree and easy you become when you’re with Sunghoon; how he makes everything feel so simple; how he makes life less tiring, and how he makes you feel that you’re worth befriending. 

He’s handsome—his fair complexion looks soft and well taken care of, his nose bridge is sharp, his smile stunning yet delicate. 

“We’re here,” Sunghoon says, pushing you out of your train of thought. You stand, with him,  in front of your house. The smell of kimchi soup begins to attack your sensory buds. “Oh, that smells good…”

“I think mom’s making dinner already,” you point out. “Do you wanna stay over? I can go and ask.”

Sunghoon shakes his head, smiling lightly. “No, it’s okay. As much as I want to devour every last drop of your mom’s cooking, I have to get home. My mom’s bringing us to visit grandma, so I shouldn’t miss it.”

You mirror his smile. “Okay. Get home safely.”

Sunghoon nods, and after a few steps away, he turns around and waves. He smiles—the usual, soft and gentle grin he always offers you, yet… something just feels different. He lingers around longer than you expect him to, before finally turning on his heel and walking home. 

You watch him walk away, and it’s like a scene in melodramatic dramas: he strolls leisurely home, your eyes follow him from behind as golden brown leaves sway down from the trees. 

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Park Sunghoon,

It’s Wednesday now. Um, yeah, I know I shouldn’t be sleeping this late, but I just finished watching 20th Century Girl, and I took, like, 15 minutes to calm myself down from all the tears, hehe. 

Are you… going to ask me to go to homecoming with you? 

It’s getting more and more hopeless as every minute passes by. In 7 hours, I’m going to go to class and say yes to Jaeyun, you know? 

I hate it. I hate how I’m hoping you would stop me from saying yes to Jaeyun. I hate how I’m desperately wishing you’re preparing something to ask me to homecoming. 

You know, what? Forget it. I’m going with Jaeyun.

Sent 00:10 AM, 4th September. 

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[utilitycaster]

anyway this is obviously a wild shift in the topic of conversation, but I was talking about it in the group chat last night as a distraction and would like to continue the distraction if I am being honest, so, with the caveat that this is based off of Fandom Osmosis Observations and a few reads of reviews and I have at this time played neither of these games, some thoughts about BG3 vs. Veilguard and what I've seen. many thanks to @captainofthetidesbreath for actually knowing things about video games and answering my many questions.

also just putting this up front with all said caveats: if you disagree that is great, I am very open that this is an outside observation and I could be very wrong but I am going to block people who get hostile without warning, and make this nonrebloggable if too many people get hostile. You are always permitted to disagree but like, I don't really care about your opinion if you're not someone with whom I have a pre-existing rapport unless idk you're like, actually a BG3 or Veilguard official story writer who happens to be on Tumblr. If you're a player? You have all of your own biases and they are not mine. Save it for someone who wants to get in a fight about this; I am not that person.

Essentially, what I've seen in terms of criticism from Veilguard that isn't just rampant transphobia comes down to the following:

why am I not playing my previous character from Inquisition again

why am I limited to a fairly consistent through line for the story

But first, I'm going to talk about BG3. What's funny is I seem like a much more obvious candidate for playing BG3, as a longtime D&D player who has come around on Forgotten Realms as a setting. However, while I looked at it for a while, I eventually lost interest for a couple of reasons. One is that apparently all the characters are WAY too eager to romance you which is like, a fun fantasy for 10 minutes but would probably annoy me in the long run. Another is that everyone who watched early reviews and kept abreast with the game told me that there was a clear favorite companion (Astarion) and that many of the characters had most of their interesting flaws sanded down (eg: Wyll was apparently much cockier originally; Shadowheart even more petulant; and as these are perhaps the two characters I was most intrigued by, reducing them to something blander destroyed much of the appeal). But perhaps the most interesting one is that as a boring goodie two shoes sort of person, my thought back when I was like "yeah, perhaps I will play this" was "oh, I do not want to have a murderous urge within me."

It became very apparent, through watching people play through and post on my dash, that if you didn't specifically play as the Dark Urge, and didn't specifically resist that urge, the story didn't really cohere. I have to admit, I know the premise of BG3 very well (tadpoles), and I know a lot of shipping trends (put a pin in that), and I know some of the more obvious points within it (Astarion is a vampire, Gale and Karlach both have bombs in their chests somehow, Shadowheart bleaches her hair) but I don't really have a great sense of the ending, and I did not avoid spoilers.

It feels like BG3 is designed for people who have one of those massive spreadsheets of D&D characters they haven't had a chance to play that are meticulously kept and thoroughly realized...and don't really leave room for modifying to fit the campaign you will actually be playing in. It feels like an OC sandbox simulator unless you do actually pick the choice the writers actually wrote for (Durge), and while it's not technically playersexual...it kinda is. I mean, I am a big fan of the trend in video games towards making it possible to romance anyone because it conjures up the idea of a world of high-powered bisexuals running around, which is very enjoyable for me, but the criticism of the Mary Sue archetype originally was never "how dare you fantasize about being cool." It was "wow, the characterizations are all warped beyond recognition solely so that everyone is in love with this character, and that makes for a dull and unsatisfying story." If you're everyone's type, and it's for romance and not just sheer lust, then either everyone around you is boring and wants the same thing, or you are sort of bland and inoffensive, or else the story is bashing characters together without a good basis for a compelling romance. This is also compounded by the fact that the companions can't get together with each other if you're playing your own character and not an Origins character.

None of this is to say it's bad to like BG3 and again, I didn't play it; but it is why I ultimately said "you know, given the effort involved to play it for me, a person without a gaming system, it's not worth it."

Veilguard has specifically intrigued me for going against a lot of this. You have a lot of choices in your character build, but they're all fairly thematically consistent: you did something within your faction that was well-intentioned but upset higher-ups and so you need to step away for a while. This establishes a personality for you! We know why you're part of a faction but also something of a free agent at the moment. We know why you're here and why you might be a good candidate for the current mission.

I'm not going to go into detail for the choices because while I'm not avoiding spoilers I don't want to spoil a relatively new game for others, but a lot of choices are fairly parallel, not in an "illusion of choice" way - they have consequences - but in terms of hitting similar themes. You can only save one city and both are places you have seen and places your companions have connections to; while the exact details may differ you are telling a consistent story.

I also think the fact that the companions can romance each other in your absence is important too! They exist even when you're not there. They are not just here to woo you, and indeed, they might be a better match for each other. I've been informed this is true in Inquisition as well, and I think it's a much more rich world if you, as the player, as the person who can ultimately decide the fates of your companions, aren't the center of their personal life. I also think it prevents the ability to sand down companions to be more agreeable to you as a player if you have to make an NPC/NPC romance compelling (and I will freely admit that, in a move that is not at all like me, I was pretty well sold by a potential in-game NPC/NPC romance, which is usually not the thing that gets me into works of fiction).

I'm not the right person to speak to the Inquisitor not being a significant character because I did not play DA:I, and I get that 'well, this is a new game with a new protagonist, as there has been for every Dragon Age game' is still not necessarily an adequate explanation. Nor is "hey, maybe it's good to attract new players" even though as someone who is highly attracted as a new player that is my opinion. However, I want to go back to the point about Resist Durge being the strongest option in BG3 in terms of story by a long shot. When I was trying to learn more, I said "ok, so just like how you're Tav in BG3 and Rook in Veilguard, you're Lavellan in Inquisition, right?" and was told that you are not - that's just the elvish Inquisitor option. Obviously this is anecdotal, but the fact that one option was far and away the most popular and thematically resonant is an indication that perhaps bringing forth the Inquisitor is carrying over some of the limitations of that game, whatever they may be. The true argument is "they are trying to tell a specific story here, and it is about a different POV than the one you previously had."

And that's really my point. I know I'm not an expert here - in fact I'm usually quite hesitant to write meta about things in which I'm not highly steeped, and very critical of those people who do - but I think an outsider perspective is useful here. The thing that is drawing me to video games is a new way to experience a fictional narrative (the other game I have been meaning to play - and even own on Steam- is Disco Elysium). That's not what everyone wants! But it is what I want. And so I want to be put into a developed, thoughtful narrative, and I don't mind if my choices are restricted in order to support it, and if I am playing a person I did not entirely choose. In tech, there is a saying of "make it easy to make the right choice (and hard to make the wrong one)" and so if you need your protagonist to hit certain beats, you should make that the required protagonist.

I think a story is stronger if your choices matter but if there is something of a foregone conclusion because it gives the writers thematic throughlines. This might sound a little silly given that this blog is largely dedicated to Actual Play but the thing is, most actual play does have, if not a foregone conclusion, at least a strongly intended conclusion of "work towards uncovering this mystery and achieving this goal", though the success of said goal is not guaranteed. I would argue that when a campaign lacks that, it tends to suffer in all aspects. RPG video games almost always have a foregone conclusion, but that's its own liability. In actual play, lacking a forgone conclusion means you spin off in any direction and it's anyone's guess if it's coherent. In an RPG, having this conclusion but not supporting it through the rest of the game will make it feel contrived. I feel a lot of Veilguard criticism is focusing on small contrivances early on that really mostly matter to a highly specific subset of potential players that prevent much larger and less forgiveable contrivances later on.

Anyway. Again, I am an outsider here, and I'm not here to say that it's bad to have a more open-world, sandboxy game with a self-insert-y OC type; but I have to be honest, I'd rather explore that in a true sandbox of fanfiction or original fiction, which is significantly cheaper and in which I can actually tell the entire story I want to tell. I don't want to be given more choices if a lot of them will be profoundly unsatisfying as a narrative. I don't want to cut through the world like a hot knife through butter. I want to be affected by it, and that's very hard to do with a character whose only trait is "self-insert whom everyone wants to fuck" or "guy that already carries the baggage of years of personal headcanons and highly variable choices that are hard to account for for every single person who ever played the previous game."

[gazeofseer]

🩵 Wⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ Sᵒˡᵃᶜᵉ ❄️

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

'Life has been quite weary, and I had so much to share the shed of my spirit, but not has a flush of storm but more like a divine solstice trance between the seasons, the sun during winter warm yet deeply cold and engaging with from my bones, wish someone heard me, rather than saying anything to me, if not all these things what can I feel is a lie? Or Life itself?'

°°°°♡°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°°°°

Pick a Pile of guidance for your soul (;

°°°°♡°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°°°°°

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'Confusion is the only clarity, I have right now all the people around me feels perfectly fine and fit to whatever they get and give, while I am still at a thought why would somebody do that to me? What did I lack exactly to be ostracized by the living society? Why can't have emotions, why, and exactly why..?

The rage seems quite resilience but that does not mean you are not burning within, like the depth of the blue flames underneath the ocean you exist in this world with your utmost compassion, when one fails as a human they fail to be anything further, but who defined that part? Too many questions is juggling all the answers you have received so far but deep down you know what is yours and what is not.

Still letting go all at a pace seems like a game of pull and push where you may fumble off everything from your hands.

But isn't that beautiful to realise what you were holding was an mere idea and not an entire reality to that?

Be it people, be it a thing, its limitation is end to what they can reap here with you on this surface so let things be, is how you let go, let happiness be happy, let sorrow sorrow itself, sink with this reality where truth prevails, even beyond the thickest curtains that has been shed and covered.

Winter Season Guidance & Blessings );

- Aquarius, Gemini and Saggitarus in big three you may feel all your life so far has been somewhat gloomy or questionable of which you have no answer to this following season you will have a major breakdown which will begin. Pilling up as small conflicts, chaos and confrontation throughout the November.

- One thing you have to do is break your ego, you have this subtle of it where you do not show off but keep it as a fake guard so merely people don't bother you but it has been blocked your sense of living entirely where every choice you make seems wrong and regretful and every other action becomes a repent.

- Blessings, that follow through is protection timely guidance on your journey as long you are on a receiving edge then on a push away where you will suddenly realise even if you feel horrible within yourself people are there who are kind, loving and will reflect exactly what you are meant to feel within.

Signs : You are on your own kid by Taylor Swift, ring lover, six fingers, mole on feet or behind neck. Ground, Shed and drive through the chaos towards peace.

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'Enduring life as if it's a badge that I have to carry and show so that don't bring the worst at my table so never left the idea of being the best in the room even if I was clumsy I slammed disciplines out of passive aggression which failed my scores to repeat the same mistakes, again and again nobody is a problem but I am, at least that's how I feel.. because I don't care about what others think..but do they even think that I exist too? That never being the one or the last hurts like the middle child who neither belongs to dad or not to the mother? Like a lost and found thought I carry myself like a baggage full of grief barely smiling at lies anymore choosing to cry over the truth as better as I feel'

You have a special message from your soul ancestors, who could be you or from your tribe ;

- It's not your first time here you have 8 as prominent number and Saturn's 8 influence you may be attracted towards infinity sign if not all these you find these strange connection with things but that may not resonate like you have not much with moon but there is something keeps your drawn towards it.

- Your ancestors by soul are people who are waiting for you as an reward after you complete certain set of karmic cycles and journey throughout the age of 23 to 25 of you have passed then these are the years, you may even heard death or something illness or fatigue around you.

- The place you work/study at seems toxic enough to bloat or drain your energy you are being asked to wear some solid protection crystal or evil eye or carry some iron nails or tie a black knot thread on neck or wrist.

- They are here to assure your present self that you may feel what's the point of living tomorrow if all I have to do is die today, what if I not only survive the bests within me and reach my success as somebody in a worst state keeps you worried but take this as a release then stroke attested nothing is final unless you decide it is.

Signs : Mess it up by Gracie Abrams, Capricorn, Venus earth sign, saturn rings, introvert, queer, cynical and thinking throughout the sleep.

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'Wish, world was a kind place so that violence would have not been the way to attain, chaos would have not reaped peace, and sorrows would have not be awarded with the happiness, the constant sell and buy has consumed my heart enough to think where did I wet less by to be who am I ? What if I love myself? And still not chosen to give? Would I be mean judged and hated for? Can't I choose myself for one fucking time? Oh that foulness in my soul speaks so does this make me impure? Why can't I just live

Your soulmate has a say (;

- You had quite relations based on intent of compassion and comfort so whenever there was change it went a bit into the hands of confusion, enclosures and uncomfortable for you where you stood for the sick unless you become one and they all left one by one.

- You kept losing people because they were your soulmates reflecting you on different level even if they were opposite on the surface.

- You attract elderly people, be it a woman, men you have this demure and mature gaze that pulls people with intellect finding you adorable but it turns them off when you get pissed off and a cute mess which can't be controlled.

- Your soulmate assures you to carry on this journey you are on the right path, growing greys recently in your hair? Something about white, off whites and lighter greys are sign also the cardigan.

- Stop, finding a end to your love let it expand with you wherever you go, is how you will meet me.

Signs : Daydreaming, Lucky Girl, Pearls, Water Signs, Air signs, Stars, Night Lovers, His name starts from E, W, A and S. He is a random person who will enter by or during Christmas by this or next year's, avoid any red or yellow color his favourite colour is white.

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Hope this reading reached the parts it was meant to !! ❄️🩵

[tea-and-secrets]

im ngl dude i think i might be trans?? but heres the problem

i dont want to be a trans boy. the only gender i realized i would actually ever want is to be a cis boy. like the idea of being trans makes me more dysphoric??? i dont know dude

what i want isnt to pass socially or to "pass" in general. i WANT to be a boy born a boy. i want to burn every single memory of my childhood because its too girl. i want to get rid of every single thing in my house because its too girl. im dysphoric when i look at my stuff or my interests and im dysphoric when i hang out with friends who are girls or even friends who are afab because i fit in too well and im dysphoric when i hang out with guys because it makes me feel like what im saying is too girl compared to them

its gotten so bad to the point that the idea of having gender euphoria is dysphoric to me because it makes me feel like i shouldnt need something like gender euphoria to confirm im a man

im jealous of people who are amab REGARDLESS of their gender identity now its like ????? and that makes me hate myself because that feels so wrong and i kind of feel like an asshole??????

i naturally have a pretty androgynous body and ive had minimal problems passing at least as nonbinary for a while now but i still nit pick every single detail that differentiates me from a cis man. my voice is too high im way too short (i cant fix my height now im 5'2 not because of estrogen but because im east asian) my body curves just slightly too weird my genitals are my genitals etc etc etc etc EVEN THOUGH IVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANY DISCOMFORT IN MY BODY UNTIL RECENTLY. i still genuinely think im really hot but its just wrong??????fddjs

i recently saw a post that was like "idk im comfortable being trans and im not trying to say im cis im just what i am" but genuinely i dont think i can be a boy if im not cis. if i actually am trans thats just another world of pain that i dont want to be in.

if i had one ask for god and it wasnt for fixing my chronic pain id honestly ask if i could have a dick and peanits to straight up jork in the strip club

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[thesilliestghost]

Right I'm gonna say this now, because my notes app is begging for me to stop

If this pisses you off for some reason, that's fine. js pls don't bully me.

If you have any input on what is said here, please message me, I have nobody to discuss the things I notice with. :)

with that being said, here we go. Beeduo, if you are in the dream smp fandom, you probably know where I'm going with this. So yeah, they don't talk anymore. (That we know of) The most popular theory is that the reason they don't talk to each other anymore is the shipping. From what I can pick up on, its not. I'm not trying to say that didn't have anything to do with it, but that's totally not the current situation.

Imma just tell you where I'm getting this idea from :) I have this weird thing where I can literally read people like a book, and the situations they are involved in. I've also discovered I can pick up on shit in people's lives even if I don't know them. (don't yell at me or call me crazy pleaseee) In the Christian world, we call that discernment. Others might call it other stuff that I don't know the terms for. But anyway, I have like really weird discernment. (I'm also an empath) I can have very few facts about a situation and basically just "read" it. its really creepy in some instances (which I am not able to share online)

(midway lil apology for changing the topic randomly I have severe unmedicated adhd lmao)

So, back to beeduo for unpopular opinion time with ghost!!!!! Ghost's unpopular opinion today is that Ranboo and Tubbo have both absolutely lost their minds in a bad way!!! dont yell at me!!!! please.

why do I think this? the vibes seem really off for starters. BUT have y'all seen the amount of shade Tubbo has been throwing at ran????that shit is wild asf. and apparently Tubbo recently removed his Ranboo themed twitch emote? anyway. something I have thought about a lot is Ranboo, and just their idk, mannerisms? They seem almost more nervous lately then they did when they hung out with the DSMP crowd (ALSO, little note, I DO NOT support aimsey/Billzo/ Average harry They just give me not good vibes man, there's so much more to my dislike of them, but this is a beeduo post isn't it?)

Ranboo, man that guy is..... I'm honestly surprised he hasn't been canceled yet, don't get me wrong! I love Ranboo, he's a good guy. but oh man, hes starting to lean heavily towards sexual content.. which, I totally get some people are okay with. but leaning towards stuff like that is a sign of SEVERE mental distress. Which brings us to Moonzy. now, I don't think Moonzy is overall a bad person. I just think they have some shitty morals. actually scratch that, they are nice. not good though,not a completely bad person (just my opinion!!!!) I just really don't feel good things coming off of them. I really don't. I personally don't think they are all that good of an influence on Ranboo..... Ran also just seemed a hell of a lot happier with the DSMP crowd. So did Tubbo. Back to Ranboo tho, Ranboo. ah yes beloved Minecraft man! or is he? no longer Minecraft or man. (I just laughed at my own horrible not joke) I look at Ranboo and think "Ah yes, some sort of religious trauma" Which Is something that is really not talked about enough. because corrupt churches ruin lives. and that's unfair, for someone to be hurt by what is supposed to be a safe and loving space. I don't know if that's actually a confirmed thing or not? but Ranboo absolutely gives off religious trauma. For some reason, my heart has always gone out to Ranboo, Tommy and Tubbo. I feel like they were just torn away from each other. and really, that's so unfair. to love people, to find your family, and then it all goes to shit. Its heartbreaking when you think of it as something more than "my favouroite streamers don't stream together anymore" they are people, with real connections. you could just feel how happy they were. and how unhappy they are now. the only one who could maybe trick us with the whole "happier than ever" act is Ranboo. and boy did he fail miserably. I feel like there's so much more to absolutely all the "drama" over this year, and the realization that hit me like a semi going 110 kilometers an hour, its all connected. everything. every allegation, every cancellation, absolutely everything. its so painfully obvious when you think about it.

WOAH that was a long rant. imma do a second part about Tubbo at some point, then a final part explaining why I think it went to shit between them. I also wanna do just some more "things I've noticed" about other YouTubers/ situations. if anyone wants to read that? thank you for reading my stress-induced late-night rant :)

please message me if you wanna share opinions and details and crap you notice in situations like this :) I literally have no friends and would like to make some lmao. anyway, Thanks soooo much for reading this! apologies for any misinformation/ Grammar mistakes or anything :)

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[longagoitwastuesday]

I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn

[hunsa-jars]

Dread be dreading