#i constantly worry im being judged for not talking enough

[runeunknown]

Making friends and putting yourself out there is like so hard.

[anaalnathrakhs]

uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well

[auroreliis]

Hey there, I hope I'm not spamming your blog too much

Also long ask ahead I'm sorry

I would actually enjoy the idea of Batfam with a reader who tried to impress them/ bond with them trough their hobbies

Normally it's only done in neglect fics(no hate to those I love them) and id love to see the reaction in a more fluffy scenwrio

Dick? Reader shows up to every single a acrobatics completion he takes and cheer for him the loudest , and one day come up to dick and show him they won first place in an acrobatics competitons turns out reader has been practicing in secret to impress dick

Jason? Reader constantly exchanges books with recommendations with him, and pays full attention when they rant about how good/bad a book is, one day reader shily approaches him and offers him a book they wrote and published themselves

Cass?(Warning I know nothing about ballet) Reader always tries to get her tickets to shows she's interested in, and even gets her meet and greets/autograph with her favorite dancers, one day reader offer her a single ticket for a new shows , with the excuse that they could only get that, and turns out that reader is actually the main dancer in the show

And obviously with Damian reader is often with him when he paint, and if damian feels like talking, they ask him about what methods he's using and what "vision" he has for his painting, eventually reader ask him to judge their paintings.

(im skipping Steph and Tim, because

The ask is getting too long and because with Tim, his hobby is genuinely investigating mysteries, so that'd s bit complicated since it's mostly vigilante related work,and I don't remember if Steph has a Really specific hobbie that reader can try, she's would just be happy to spend time with them)

Hey! No worries about spamming :)

If you're trying hard to get along with them, then they get very excited and that leads to fluffy scenarios!

Dick would love to do acrobatics with you and he would make for a great mentor. Usually, Dick is known for being annoying, but this is only when you don't engage enough with him. However, when you do engage with him, he becomes a regular, affectionate older brother.

After you finish your daily acrobatic training, he usually carries you to your room and brings you whatever you want. Water? Of course, right away! Food? Alfred's already making it! You want him to put a film on? Yes, hopefully you don't mind him watching it too :)

Jason adores the fact that you like his recommendations when it comes to books. It's not that nobody else in the manor thinks his suggestions are good, it's just that he most values your opinion.

His favourite moments are when you and him are sitting in the library during the evening, drinking hot chocolate and reading books. Neither of you are talking, but the silence is comfortable. Sometimes, he stop reading to look over at you, but you don't notice, because you're so immersed in the story. He probably looks for more books to recommend to you, intending to sit in the library in silence again.

Tim has many hobbies and many hobbies that you are unable to take part in. However, Tim makes it quite easy to spend time with him. For example, watching films with him is something he suggests often. Somehow, Tim always know what you want to do without needing to hear you say it, so if a new show came out, he immediately runs to you and asks if you want to binge it with him.

Watching shows isn't the only thing you two do, though. Tim also enjoys talking to you about anything. You have a new hyperfixation? Tim is the FIRST person you have to tell, because he probably also has the same hyperfixation lol. Somehow, the two of you resonate on every possible level and that makes any mundane activity entertaining if both of you are present.

Stephanie didn't know what to say when you asked her to play the piano for you, but she couldn't just refuse, so she played for you. You can imagine her delight when you asked her to teach you how to play. It takes a while to learn to play the piano, but that just means she gets to spend more time with you :)

Cassandra is delighted to hear that you like ballet as much as she does. She would practice ballet with you and plan choreographies to challenge you a bit. Whenever a show worth watching came up, she would be the first to buy tickets for the two of you.

Much like with Jason, Cassandra is also comfortable with sitting in silence. She doesn't need to have a conversation with you to feel seen by you, just being in the same room is enough for her.

Painting with Damian has become a regular afternoon activity for you, though by "painting with", I mean "getting painted by", because as much as Damian believes in your ability to make great paintings, he sees something in you that makes you the perfect muse. Whenever he paints you, his paintings end up being brighter, they make his other paintings look bleak in comparison.

He finds himself adding some of your charm to other paintings. Whenever he paints a landscape, it looks empty without your favourite flowers in the field. If he paints a room in the manor, he adds some of your objects, perhaps your sweater is hanging over a chair in the corner, or your headphones are on the table in the living room. Now he is unsatisfied with every painting that doesn't have a hint of your presence in it.

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

hi !! 🪶 anon here, i couldnt find the one i originally requested for way back anf lowk forgot about it

so im back again:3

could i ask for a Friede x male reader, where the reader has like.. metal hands? similar to Violet evergarden, and the users a gardener

their main pokemon could be any pokemon, but more specifically a really protective florges that helps reader out and just. stares down friede like “hi. thats my son. get away before i attack you.”

basically just him trying to get on the good side of florges ?

-🪶

Friede x Reader with Robotic Hands | Headcanons

As a result of an accident, you lost your hands, and becuase technology was so advanced, you could get robotic hands which made everything slightly easier for you -whenever they're charged.

Not only has the accident made you lose both your arms, it has made your trusty Florges overprotective over you, almost taking a more 'motherly' role to ensure that you wouldn't get hurt again,

She has been there your whole life and she isn't willing to leave your side in any way- going as far as to make a fuss if you as much as try to have her go back into her pokéball.

Her concern over you is admirable, but it does tread into overprotective territory when she scoots you out of the way so she can pour you the water from the kettle, or how closely she watches you doing that involves your hands.

It doesn't help that you've began to see someone - Friede from the 'Rising Volt Tacklers'.

You knew that if you told your Florges, she'd get mad. She already wasn't too happy about you wanting to continue your pokémon adventure, and you had to practically BEG her to allow you to continue your adventure afterwards

So you knew that convincing her that dating a man who's constantly travelling is going to be even harder.

And that time has come faster than you ever wished.

Florges -as expected- was protective over you. She didn't like Friede one bit, and convincing her that he was actually good for you was like talking to a brick wall.

But, Friede continued to try and convince her that he is worthy of dating you.

At first, he began with giving the both of you flowers. Then he'd progress with giving you diffrent gifts. He'd focus more on natural gifts for your florges, and he'd give you more expensive gifts.

He tried to make something a few times.

It failed in his eyes, so he never gave it to you, but he definitely tried to make some other things that have looked good enough to give to you.

It took months to get your Florges to even consider dropping her gaurd a bit around Friede, and she only did that because she saw that Friede was treating you like a normal person.

But before that, Friede would carefully tread the thin line of what's acceptable and what isn't.

Friede reminded you to charge your hands before you go to bed to make sure that they're not going to run out of battery anytime soon, even if your hand can go days without needing to be charged and checked for any swelling or inflammation that your prosthetics may have caused,

It was little things like that that made your Florges slightly relax around him.

But being the overprotective mother Torchic that she is, she still kept her eye on him.

It probably took about a year for your Florges to 'allow' you to date Friede, but she'd always give you a look that told you if he even slightly hurt your feelings, he's dead.

If you ever wanted to marry him though- you'd need to worry about getting her blessing before getting one from your parents.

A/N: your previous request was a Leon x M!Reader with a type specialty in fairy who's partner pokémon is an overprotective Florges who judges Leon, lmk if you still want me to write it (I don't have anything for it ngl-)

--

3rd image - HUMANO by Nicolás Herrera Rojas

[dodgeballstuckonthegymceiling]

Hi! I really liked the Rottmnt post you did with the turtles boys finding out their the readers old pet turtles. It’s literally been on my mind constantly I love Platonic and found family stuff like this but can barely ever find any!

If you don’t mind me asking I’d like to make a request for a scenario or Headcanom (either one is fine lolol) based on my reblog, where Mikey tries to introduce the reader to Splinter and April (while his brothers try very hard to not let Draxum get seen and murdered by reader. ) XD

I hope you have a good rest of your day/evening/ whatever point in time it is for you! ✨

Just wanted to tell you I audibly laughed at that reblog!

Splinter and April & Reader who had the turtles as pets

"Im a bit nervous, Mikey. What if it gets awkward?" you say as you walk deeper into the seemingly endless tunnel, part of what had been a train system below New York. You had brought a flashlight with you, but it hardly lights up the next 6 feet in front of you. "It's going to be fine! If anything it might go too well. Next thing you know Dad is going to be showing you our baby pictures!" Mikey said as he walked behind you. Smiling and bringing his hands to his face in a "sleeping" position and imagining all the family movie nights you where going to be apart of. The flashlight began to flicker, didn't you just change out the batteries? Mikey noticed and spoke up "Don't worry, we're almost there" he said reassuringly. Sure enough, after about a minute you where already there. Mikey opened the door for you, remembering how Splinter had told him and his brothers to be on there best behavior.

You walk past, thanking him for holding the door. As soon as you step inside you are bombarded by Donnie and Raph who wanted to greet you. "I trust you had a pleasant walk here?" Donnie spoke elegantly, he was overdoing the whole "best behavior" thing a tad bit. Thankfully Raph spoke up, or rather, he whisper-yelled "too far, less polite" Donnie thought for a moment before speaking again "..was the walk here okay?" "I-" Before you could finish speaking you heard Leo's voice from what you assume to be the living room. "Y/n! We're over here!" There was clear excitement in his voice.

The brothers guided you to the living room.

Splinter

★ As stated before, he told his sons to be on there best behavior. And for the most part they listend, Sure there was a little argument about who got to sit next to you. But he could overlook that.

★ He was really excited to meet the person who took care of his sons before he did. You thought it would be a bit awkward but it was far from it. He is very polite and the two of you get along just fine.

★ Eventually you get to the part where you crap talk Draxum and let me tell you, it is therapeutic. Mikey is standing in the corner, probably wanting to say something but doesn't.

★ Afterwards he invites you over fairly often for family events. All his sons like you and from what he can tell, you seem like a good addition to there weird family.

★ Whenever something is going to be decided, say Leo got in trouble or a pizza toppings are being decided. Your opinion outweighs April and the turtles, he pretty much gives you the last word on most things.

April

★ She was exited to meet you because she really wanted to know how much each of the brothers cost. Kidding, kinda. She heard good things about you and wanted to meet you in person.

★ Definitely asks you to share some stories about when you had the boys as pets. Her favorite one is the time that you had to take all the dirt out of Mikey's enclosure and replace it with wood chips because he was eating the dirt for some reason?

★ You and her get along great, you are older than her by about 15-20 years considering you had the turtles as pets about 15 years ago judging by the turtles age. So you would be kinda like a cool aunt to her.

(bonus) Draxum

★ You met him (the second time) because Mikey wanted the two of you to try and get along. It was awkward, to say the least. Mikey had to sit between you and him as a social buffer to keep the two of you from getting into a fight.

★ To Mikey's credit, you probably would have decked him across the face if he hadn't. But could he really blame you?

[nyxisart]

Hey, closeted transmasc here.

Can someone like me contribute to the Animal HRT community, albeit without experiencing HRT? I would rather focus on the outer perspective, though, specifically with closeted people, trans allies, and phobes. I also don't got a good grasp on how transphobia felt like personally, as I'm pretty much thought to be an ally (derogatory with those assumers) at best, and 'too obsessed with the el gee bee tee' at worst.

I want to talk about the process with struggling to grasp the concept that "no, your true self isn't what you grew up with", which is quite ironic for me (or not) since that's a big theme for many of my OCs. But still, I'm afraid that any comic I will soon make won't be valid in the trans experience.

And it's not that I got internalized transphobia or anything, but it's rather my inner critic constantly questioning my decisions, because half of them always fuck up, and all of them are constantly judged by the same people who are supposed to support me and make me comfortable in this burning world (fuck you dad why cant you see im happier with what i loved)

I'm still in the journey of finding out parts of myself that I neglected and parts lost to trauma or locked up by my own mind, and I have no idea when the time comes that I can get close to the identity I've been wanting for so long but afraid to admit.

And...well...who knows whether or not I'll get tired of constantly changing for my mind's needs...even if the outside world saw me as unchanging.

~Dave

Hey Dave! You don't have to ask me about what you can or cannot do, in the end it's always your choice! And if your worries are that your experience is not valid enough for it to be transcribed into a story, well let me tell you that you don't even have to be trans to write about trans subjects as long as you're being respectful and mindful of what you're saying.

And let me add that I personally am really curious to see your take on this, I'm sure it will be interesting! ^^

[borderline-culture-is]

Suspecting BPD culture is “there’s no way.. I already have so many things, there’s no way I can be this too.”

Then

- Starts panicking and tearing up at the thought of Suspected FP judging me or being upset with me in any way

- Starts having severe paranoia about there being someone in the house afterward

- Constantly fearing that one day they will think I’m a horrible person and leave me forever

- Anxiety that they’re talking bad about me behind my back and just pretend to like me

- Feeling incredibly anxious, stressed, lost, and empty whenever that person doesn’t reply to my messages “fast enough” or doesn’t give me “enough” attention

- Freaking out and overthinking when their tone in text feels even slightly different. Because oh, surely, I have done something horribly wrong and they’ll never love (/p) me again

- Worrying that I ruin every interest I get them into because of how excited I get talking about it

- Seeing that they messaged me or that they’re typing immediately removes a great amount of stress or anxiety

- I literally describe myself as “sitting at their door like a dog” when waiting for them to respond

And the worst part is I genuinely trust them and know they wouldn’t do the things im worried they they’ll do but my brain actually hates me and makes me think about them anyway (the diagnosed OCD doesn’t help)

— (is 🪻☔️ taken?)

(no)

[doumadono]

EMERGENCY REQUEST

Lately, I've been feeling really really down because of my weight. Although im not really "fat" And just chubby, i can't help but be bothered about people just telling me to loose weight. Trust me, im really trying but because of PCOS its hard to get rid of my belly to the point that I barely eat anything. With that being said, could i please request on how Shoto Todoroki would comfort the reader about being body conscious? Lovelots❤

A/N: I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down about your weight. It's important to remember that your worth is not determined by your body size, and you should prioritize your health and well-being over societal pressures. Dealing with weight-related issues, especially in the face of insensitive comments from others, can be incredibly challenging. It's crucial to focus on what's best for your overall health rather than succumbing to external pressures. PCOS can make weight management more complex, and it's essential to approach it in a healthy and sustainable way.

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

After a particularly tough day, you find yourself sitting in the common room of the dorm, quietly sobbing. Shoto notices your distress and joins you without a word. He sits down, leaving a comfortable distance between you, and his presence alone provides some solace.

He watches you with a caring expression, and after a while, he reaches over and offers you a blanket that was draped over the back of the couch. You accept it gratefully, wrapping it around your shoulders for warmth and comfort.

You continue to cry softly, and Shoto doesn't rush you. Instead, he patiently waits, giving you the time and space you need to process your emotions.

Eventually, when your tears begin to subside, Shoto speaks softly, "You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you're not ready, but I'm here to listen if you want to talk." His voice is gentle and understanding, offering you an anchor in the storm of your emotions.

After Shoto's comforting presence helps ease your tears, you gather your thoughts and decide it's time to open up to him. You appreciate his support and trust him with your feelings. "I just can't shake this feeling of not being good enough because of my weight," you stated out of blue.

Shoto sighs softly, "I understand that it can be tough. It's not easy when others are so critical. But please remember that their opinions don't define you."

"It's just so frustrating, Shoto. I feel like I'm constantly being judged."

"I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let the opinions of others define how you see yourself. People who truly care about you will see your inner beauty and strength," he smiles, a tiny smile dancing in the corners of his mouth.

"I've been trying really hard to lose weight, but it's not working as I hoped. And sometimes, I end up hardly eating anything because I'm so worried about gaining weight again." Your chin starts quivering again.

"I admire your determination, but please remember that health should always come first. You shouldn't have to go to such extremes. Your health is the most important thing, and starving yourself isn't the way to achieve it. You're more than your weight, and I want you to be healthy and happy."

You smile with tears in your eyes, "Thank you, Shoto, you're always so sweet to me."

Shoto gently wipes away a tear that rolls down your cheek, "You're welcome. Just know that I'm here to support you, no matter what. Remember, you're not alone in this, and we can work through it together, I'll try to help you. Your well-being is what matters most."

[funkii-fox]

Should I block the French Guy?

This mf has the audacity to pretend to agree that AI “art” is wrong, then STILL is using AI to generate images of his ocs. I posted the quote of Araki condemning AI “art” and this fucking guy has the audacity to like it, even tho I had him in mind while posting it.

I was like “yk, I havent seen this guy’s story in a while because it’s 100% hateful, maybe I should check to see if he still does.” The most recent one I could find was from September 8th in a highlight abt ocs, but that’s not to say he hasn’t used it since and just didn’t save it to highlight. Make of that what you will, but I choose to believe he’s still using AI. I remember once I even had a convo telling him to stop using AI, but bro just went “ok” and still used AI BRUH🗿

But guess what else I saw: he likes Jimmy 😭😭😭 this was 100% expected tho. He once changed his pfp to Curly and i was like “your ass is NOT Curly ur Jimmy bro.” He posted 3 whole stories abt the community judging ppl that like Jimmy. He compared it to how ppl like DIO and said its bc he has pretty privilege and not Jimmy and thats why ppl judge them. I won’t lie; yes, most ppl like DIO bc hes pretty and charming, but at least he has some types of redeeming qualities. Jimmy is just 100% asshole. Every scene you see of him is he’s being a jerk or a fuck up that says “i can fix this” but actually can’t. Mouthwashing is SO un-nuanced in the way you’re supposed to hate Jimmy, it’s amazing rlly. We’re not even shown much of his personal life or other aspects of his personality; unlike other antagonists like Kira or Diavolo.

Now, am I gonna throw rocks at your window for liking Jimmy? No. Do what you want. But, i will psychoanalyze you and conclude that you like him either for the abusive dynamic or you like him bc he’s like you. This guy 110% likes Jimmy bc he’s relatable.

Simply looking at it face value right now, the way this guy is so OBSESSED with other people is insane. 90% of my conversations w this guy has been bruja arianna, snerufu, antis, women who make self insert ocs, or his arch nemesis Fay that he just can’t stop stalking. It reminds me of how Jimmy was obsessed and jealous of Curly’s success. He is also negative all the time. Even when making a joke, the punchline is always someone else or a cheap horny joke that comes across as a 7th grader. It reminds me of how Jimmy HAD to take Curly saying “i want more in life” the wrong way. It even manifests in the way bro had Curly as his pfp; because he wants to be like Curly.

We met from me shitting on bruja arianna. My criticism came from logic and a want to make change in the community, but it’s clear now that his criticism comes from hate and insecurity. He’s so passionate about hate, i think it’s the only thing he’s passionate about. He’s not even passionate enough about his own ocs to draw them himself. He’s so hateful he makes fun of women in the fandom for damn near anything they do, as if millions of ppl don’t also see him as a woman and as if he never lived as a woman. Then he hides all of his edginess as “im French lol we’re just angry :p” be so serious

His only other characteristic is being hypocritical. This guy “doesn’t deserve hate” but is constantly negative all the time. This guys gets upset at shit on a screen just to search it up more. This guy HATES bruja arianna for mocking trans men, yet all his male ocs are “androgynous” no mf they look like girls.

Chat, I don’t care anymore about being stalked. I’m stronger now. I have better things to worry about now that I have a life. I don’t care if he talks a lot of shit nor do I care if he “exposes” me for some made up bs. He can have a tantrum all he wants; i have better things to care about

Poll whether I should block him under the cut.

[thelatenightideologies]

I wish I was normal

I don’t feel good. I don’t feel good at all. I’m inexperienced, I know that, but why do I feel like this? Feel so useless, feel so incompetent, feel so.. helpless.

Why am I such a burden?

Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be normal? Why do I think the things I do and say the things I say.

I don’t want to be like this, I want to be more.

I want to be comfortable enough to feel the things i’m feeling. I want to embrace the fact that I won’t be judged. Like I can be free.

The feeling of not knowing what I truly want to be, is terrifying. I feel so pathetic. I feel like nothing I do will be right.

I hate that I get sick from it. Sick from the thought of intimacy. Sick because of the lack of it i’ve had.

I want to be able to be free. Be able to not constantly feel nausea and anxiety when all I’m doing is meeting someone new.

I’ve thought a lot. I know I want it, I really do. But it’s so hard. So hard for me to feel comfortable, so hard for me to truly feel like I won’t be judged or brushed off.

God, I wish I never felt like this. I wish I was… normal.

I don’t care if that’s boring, I don’t care if that’s plain. Because at least I would feel like I could actually do the things I want to do.

I don’t even have the confidence in myself to be able to look at myself in the mirror, let alone give myself to someone.

I wish I was normal.

I wish I talked normal, I wish I felt normal, I wish I could be normal.

Maybe it sounds dumb, maybe it sounds pathetic. But that’s my truth. That’s how I feel. And everyday i’m trying. Trying so hard to be able to do what I want. But that day isn’t today.

The process is slow, I expected that. I just didn’t expect to be happy with it until the second it gets serious. The second someone wants me.

I’m constantly worried. Worried about my body, my thoughts, my sounds. I feel repulsive.

A life of always being second best does that to you, I guess. I designated myself as the wingwoman knowing that if I tried, I wouldn’t even be able to make conversation with a guy.

I gave up. I gave up on the fact that someone would actually look at me and find me truly beautiful. I gave up, because it had never happened.

I watched as my friends got showered with love and attention. I listened to the guys who asked me questions about them, not me. I cried as they always chose someone else, even if I gave up so much for their affection.

I constantly feel like i’m gonna mess things up. That no one will look at me after it. That i’ll be alone. Again.

I’m trying to be better. Im trying so hard. And so far, it’s worked. but boy do I have a while to go.

I’m glad i’m working on it, i’m glad i’m slowly gaining the confidence I so desperately need.

But most days despite all that,

despite all I’ve done to push forward,

I still wished I was normal.

[anymal28]

@bonesby I probably did this wrong, but here ya go

🎱 - 0, I literally have no finished works to even post

🍓 - I have not posted any works yet. But basically no one was writing the stories I was looking for. I also have great ideas and suck at making characters for said ideas.

🌵 - Might be my own👀 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0OueUGpDtDuRAFljBrZJtn?si=Moy5y7aRSguNXYxFoQpDaA&pi=u-JFkaI__xQo2Y

🕯 - Friends works: 9/10. I like helping them out and being one of the first to read their works, plus they're both stupid good at writing

My Works: 2/10, I'm my own worst enemy. I recently went back to edit a wip and am very close to deleting the whole thing and rewriting it.

🛼 - 🔫🗡🔪🥷💣

🥑 - @bonesby & @louisapennyfeather2021

🥤- 0KKULTiC : We Would Be Savage series on ao3

inexperiencedandconfused8 on ao3

GoAwayOlivia : Jason Todd: The Not-So-Outlaw on ao3

I have many suggestions

💌 - 0 actually

🌻 - Literally anyone who follows me

🐇 - If yall ever catch me writing reader inserts, just know I did it as a joke and Hell must've froze over

🧃 - I am asthmatic

🎲 - Lack of motivation

🍄 - NOT A SHIP, but Dick Grayson 100% eats cheerios by picking them up with his tongue and Jason hardcore judges him for it even tho Jason does the same thing with chips cause he refuses to get his fingers cheesy.

🧸 - Talk to me and dont stop talking to me no matter how awkward things get. I'm very bad at keeping up communications.

🪐 - One of my goats finally had her babies, I finally get to bring my other goat home from the hospital, I dont have to bottle feed anything yet.

📚 - This prompt

🍬 - I'm not educated enough for this

🔪 - The explicit details on the different sections of the human spine and how all of them function and which parts of the body would be affected depedning on which part of the spine was damaged. Also retail store security tags.

🦷 - You can only heat something up twice before it starts to make you sick

❄️ - Literally anything found family, I'm such a sucker for that. Anyone could write it good honestly.

🌿 - Change the space you're writing in. If you're writing in your bedroom, go to a different room. Change up the environment.

🥐 - "crazy, I was crazy once..."

🏜 - Have not received any cause have not posted any

🍦 - I GUESS he is loyal, he got better at communicating, and hes not AS horrible as before

🥝 - Not really, its more of a waste of breath to lie a lot. I did lie to my Grandpa about my goat's vet bill

🦋 - The fucking quote of "Farming teaches you how to be totally responsible and completely useless"

🦴 - Literally anything found family. Im a sucker for that

🍅 - The character's responses and reactions need to change and be more thought out for the scene. It doesn't match who they are. The entire situation is written okay, but definitely not the best and can be improved.

🐚 - In story writing, surprises are great. Irl, no.

🪲 - [ Hiding and watching in the shadows of the setting sun, he could make Alchemy, Arachne, and Wendigo. With the sight of them came another pang of worry. Who would help heal them when they got injured on patrol? Granted all of them were very careful, but slip ups happen. There were one or two other vigilantes and allies that could help, but he worried they wouldn’t be able to do much when it came to the bigger, more serious stuff. And Arachne? He hoped she wouldn’t do anything stupid. Maybe Alchemy could keep a close eye on her. ]

☁️ - Literally the name I've had since the dawn of time. Its just a play on the word "animal".

🐝 - @bonesby : the bestest person someone could have in their life. Literally you have not won anything if you dont have someone like them.

@louisapennyfeather2021 : Everyone needs someone like them in their corner. They're like the devil on my shoulder except they're constantly trying to keep me from doing dumb shit.

🌸 - Too many. Pics below. In order: Dakota, Charlie, Octavian, Augustus, Tommy, Dillion, Ponk, Maverick, Nora, Oakapi. I have more goats if anyone's interested💀

🎨 - I dont even have any rn, I wouldn't be able to find the ones I used to love, but I know it was Percy Jackson.

🧩 - A lot. Specifically certain smut tags. Porn without plot. Too many smut tags. Incest. There's a lot, and I usually dont know until I see it

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats  🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love 🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? 🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love 💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?  🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before 🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? 🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh  🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing 🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them 🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

[dumbbitchfrommars]

12am and i cant sleep.

its been so hard adjusting to all the change. it was unexpected, and i got used to something and didnt realise how that momentum would just disappear and how uncomfortable i would be about that.

i think i got used to the chaos of being a student. now i feel stuck, and im doubting myself. im really, really questioning.

but somehow i was blessed with a really wonderful man amidst it all?

doubt/fear/self criticism. its confusing me... i havent properly cried in so long. ive just gotten a bit too comfortable with the subtle, constant voice in my head putting me down for every little mistake and unmet expectation.

i am a good writer. i missed writing, really writing. i got so lazy. i feel so lazy, all the time. like im never quite putting in 100%, but if i did, i know id be able to achieve so much. id be so successful - probably at anything i put my mind into.

instead im so afraid of failing or being disappointed that i barely try at all.

my confidence is thin... i wonder if people can see through my facade?

im so ashamed and angry at myself for losing my temper today. it completely derailed the rest of my day. i feel terrible. i deserved to get in trouble today. it was my karma for being impatient, and mean, and angry. life is not that serious. nothing is worth that kind of anger. no stranger deserves that kind of anger...

im so tired but the coffee that i knew would throw me off is keeping me up. i was shaking for half the day today! i genuinely helped so many people but i also feel judged, criticised and under appreciated. i am not rostered again for this entire week.

work is not worth this frustration and anger and hurt. ive exhausted myself analysing the situation and its done. but, what is left if not that? what do i worry about instead? how others might judge me for dating this guy? or how my car is stuck in a carpark tonight and might be towed away by the morning? or, that i have $40 to my name right now with multiple trips interstate planned in the next few months? money doesnt matter. it never really mattered and is the least of my problems, and yet it floats back to me constantly like a persistent fly. i got bit on the fucking face by a mosquito!

but being hugged like that healed something in me. it was the most comforting hug ive had in so, so long. i could cry just thinking about feeling that way all the time. so warm and safe and protected and loved.

its nice to feel like i can be a shy girl again. like i dont have to pretend to be confident all the time, cause someone else is already, and hes ready to take the lead for me. so i can let my guards down and just be my self and not worry about scaring him off or making him insecure. and i like the way he tells me things. like he really shows me, and gets me to visualise what hes trying to explain. and i like how he rubbed my knee when i said i wasnt listening to him for one second. and i like how he kinda just decided for me that were hanging out again tomorrow. and i like how he asked "are you okay" when i got all anxious and made me laugh at myself instead of being awkward. how did he do that? he helped me not overthink by making a sweet joke and i could laugh. and my critical side is non existent when im with him, cause hes so confident in himself. hes so man. and i actually like him. i like talking to him, i like his personality, im drawn to him, i think hes attractive. i mean, he has odd style but it suits him. and he has some opinions that i disagree with but they arent dealbreakers. and hes such a boyyyy like hes so masculine man like wow they really do exist. all i had to do was look in a different place to my own. I KNEW IT TOO. i knew i liked them a little rough around the edges. ugh. okay. i think thats enough fawning over him now.

i wonder when we'll finally kiss. i dont think im ready yet... im scared of rushing and getting hurt again. i think he can tell and thats why hes been so slow and gentle with me. is crazy, isnt it? i seem so confident and attractive and cool from the outside. i feel like everyone profiles me as having so much handed to me. but its honestly so scary and hard to try do relationships and friendships. ive been hurt so much and im so so sensitive. but maybe i seem strong and like my walls are up or something, so people think im indestructible. but secretly im so soft and fragile and i need time. and i feel like hes giving me that time? like i dont think ive ever gone this long talking to a guy. i havent hung out with a guy 3 times without kissing once. thats a lie... but its also true, cause the taurus i always just expected it to not be romantic. i dont think i ever really saw us being in a relationship. but i can see myself with the scorpio. so its even a shock just for me, to see how seriously im taking this by not rushing. i want everything to be special and the right timing. i even want to meet his family and friends. and my sister really likes him. thats how i know hes good for me. because shes never wrong about people. could this be why i had such a trainwreck day today? did i receive some kind of evil eye the other night? but...who...? everyone seemed so sweet and happy and lovely. maybe its just a bad day and i shouldnt overthink it.

ugh.

its fucking freezing cold and now its past 1am. ugh.

i would love another one of those hugs, please. it was so lovely and nice and ugh. holy shit. i really like him!

[whorkn33]

blanket ghost breakdown

genre: angst words: 3139 warnings: mentions of death, being told to die, severe illness, vague themes of issues with abandonment and helplessness summary:  Komaeda has the despair disease, and suddenly it's like he's not the same person. You're just trying to help, to keep him in bed and watch over him in case his condition tanks again, but he seems dead set on making that as difficult for you as possible. a/n: i wrote this on a bad day where i just wanted to get what i was feeling out of my brain, so here it is lol. im fine btw, just needed an outlet and decided to post it bc i like the final product

☆~☆

You’re exhausted. You haven’t slept in two days now, mostly out of worry, but partially because he won’t shut up.

Komaeda is laying in his hospital bed, rambling on and on about how much he just fucking hates you, about how he thinks you’re a worthless piece of shit and he wishes you died instead of anyone else. He’s cackling in between his words, talking so much he’s constantly out of breath. 

He isn’t even looking at you anymore, tossing his head side to side as he giggles manically to himself. Every so often he’ll get a burst of energy and thrash about, screaming at you until his throat is raw to just leave him alone, get your ugly face out of his room before he vomits on his bedsheets.

You know logically he doesn’t mean any of it - that’s the nature of the despair disease, after all. But it still hurts. Komaeda had always treated you with nothing short of respect, even when you had your more clumsy moments. He had a weird, messed up way of communicating it, but you knew he cared for and respected you just as much as anyone else on the island. 

Even after his breakdown during the first trial, you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate him. You wanted to believe he was just scared, like everyone else, and acting out because of it. You knew the others judged you for it, and you couldn’t exactly blame them. He’d done some pretty messed up shit. 

Maybe you were just too empathetic. Or maybe Komaeda was just pretty enough for you to willingly put on a pair of rose-colored glasses.

Whatever your motivation, selfish or not, it landed you here. You’d been stationed with Komaeda, since you were the only one who could stand being around him for longer than two minutes, and your job was to make sure he didn’t do anything to hurt himself or anyone else, and call Tsumiki if his condition worsened.

You gave this job to yourself willingly, and while you don’t necessarily regret it, your patience is certainly beginning to wear thin.

You sat on a cool metal chair next to his bed and watched his lips form all the venomous words he spat at you, his face red and sweaty from his ridiculously high fever. His hair was sticking to his forehead, and though he usually seemed to be a bit colder than you, now you could feel the heat emanating from his body. 

You knew he must have felt horrible. You had to try four times before he would finally drink some water, and even then he kept a bit in his mouth to spit at you. But the look of relief on his face when he felt the cool glass against his burning skin and sipped told you everything.

You kept a glass of water on the small table beside his hospital bed now, along with a blood pressure cuff he had nearly thrown at Tsumiki last time she tried to use it. You’d just barely managed to wrench it out of his sweaty hands - for how skinny he is, you didn’t expect his grip to be that strong, especially while sick.

He coughs suddenly, a rough and scratchy sound that erupts from deep within his chest. His brow furrows and his eyes squeeze shut, his whole face twisting into a pained expression that makes your heart ache. You stand and move behind him to rub his back until it passes; it’s the only time you can touch him without him trying to shove you away. 

The moment he can draw a breath again, he’s back to talking. Back to insulting you, your talent, your friends, your entire existence. You sit back down in your chair and watch him lay back, fidgeting with the edge of the thin hospital blanket you’d thrown over him.

Tuning out his insults, you remember how scared you were when Komaeda collapsed in the restaurant. He’d let out such a choked noise, gasping for breath like he was being strangled, and his head collided with the hard wood floor before you could catch him. You remembered the panic that settled in your chest while you ran behind Hinata towards the hospital. That panic had simmered down over time, as you sat by Komaeda’s side, waiting for him to wake up. Eventually it pooled into your stomach, having concentrated itself into a feeling you could only describe as dread.

There was a scare for a moment, where you left for a drink and returned to find he had stopped breathing. You had helplessly pressed down on his chest, your knowledge of CPR very limited, as you screamed for someone, anyone to come help.

And then a few hours later, he opened his eyes, and for the first time in over 24 hours you felt hope. 

It lit up your chest as you watched his eyelids flutter open, his pupils darting around the room for a moment before they landed on you. As you locked gazes, that hope died when you caught the look in his eye, unlike anything you’d seen from him before. It was like the boy you met on the beach that day had vanished, replaced by a stranger. His eyes were dark swirls of emotions you couldn’t place, unfolding onto each other and mixing into a whole new person. And then he had cackled at you, maybe your expression gave away your agony, but he saw it and he could do nothing but laugh.

“Hey! Aren’t you listening?!” He snaps you out of your reminiscing, and you realize you’ve been crying. You turn your head so he won’t see you wipe away the tears, but he’s smart even when he’s sick, so he catches on. Laughter bubbles up out of him. “You’re crying?! Seriously?! That’s pathetic! Weeping into your hands like a child who got their candy stolen!”

You rest your elbows on your knees and hide your face with your palms, covering your tired eyes so the sunlight pouring through the window doesn’t hurt as much. He only cackles louder, and you’re sure everyone on this floor of the building can hear it, but can’t bring yourself to care. If you have to hear him berate you like this, if you have to be kept awake by his never ending babbling, maybe everyone else should be too.

‘That’s not fair.’ You think to yourself. ‘You’re just cranky from lack of sleep and this headache you’ve got, don’t take it out on the others.’

Suddenly, it’s strangely silent, and your eyes snap up to him frantically. His eyes have slid shut, his chest rising and falling in time with his breathing, and you sigh in relief. He’s been drifting in and out of consciousness for the last few hours now, probably exhausting himself with all the fucking talking he’s been doing. You repress the urge to sigh, afraid that even the slightest noise could wake him.

You stare at his unconscious body and feel tears pricking your eyes again. You don’t fight them, letting them slip down your cheeks freely. You hadn’t had a moment’s sleep since this all began, and it’s weighing on you now, making you more irritable and emotional. You’ve had a headache for hours now that no over the counter painkiller could help. 

Kuzuryu had brought you several drinks from the vending machine, so you would actually drink something - after the last time, you refused to leave him alone for even a moment, waiting until Tsumiki came in to check his vitals to use the restroom. You tuck a bottle of water under your shirt and open it very slowly and carefully, the fabric muffling any little sounds it makes. You take a drink and set it down on the floor beside you.

The room is a little chilly, but not so much that it’s uncomfortable. You lean back in your chair and cross your arms over your chest, letting your head fall back to stare at the ceiling. You kept the lights in the room off until the sun went down in an attempt to stop the pain in your eyes, but it didn’t do much. At least you didn’t have to deal with the constant buzzing of the fluorescents. The only sound in the room was Komaeda’s breathing and your own. Without thinking, you hold your breath for a split second to sync your breaths with his. You don’t even realize you’re doing it at first, and when you do notice, you’re a bit embarrassed despite nobody being around to witness it.

You’re always a bit embarrassed around Komaeda. It’s stupid, really, considering no matter what you did you’re pretty sure he’d still sing your praises unconditionally, but you’re still nervous around him. At first, you were sure it was just because of his breakdown, but as time went on and you continued hanging around him, you slowly realized it was just his presence that made your stomach flutter. 

You pretended you didn’t know what it meant - now wasn’t the time for those feelings, not when lives were at stake. It was easier to accept your unease than to confront it head-on. Not the healthiest option, but certainly the easiest.

You hear a loud crash and it startles you out of your thoughts, your body lurching forward. Komaeda is on the ground next to the bed, having knocked over the small table next to his bed, sending the glass of water and the blood pressure cuff scattering across the floor. He pushes himself onto his hands and knees, grinning wildly and letting out a wheezy noise through his teeth. You notice the sun is much lower in the sky now, bathing the room in a golden light. You must have dozed off in your chair. That explains the ache in your back.

You get out of your chair and reach out to help him up, and he smacks your hands while he leans away from you, letting out a displeased grunt that you choose to ignore. You have to hook your elbows under his armpits and hoist him up from behind so you can get him back on the bed. He tries to steady his legs underneath his body, but they shake so hard it nearly throws both of you off balance.

“Fucking filthy,” Komaeda pants, clawing at the collar of his hospital gown as he lets out a wheezy, unhinged giggle that shakes his entire body. “You’re so fucking filthy, your hands have tainted me, I think I’m gonna be sick!” You ignore him, fluffing his pillow and flipping it over to the cool side before grabbing the thin hospital blanket and dragging it over him. The moment you let go, he grabs the blanket and flings it over you, and it drapes over your body and pools at your feet, turning you into a ghost before his eyes.

The sunlight can’t reach you under here, and the ache in your skull begins to subside a bit, despite his continued wheezing, babbling, and you have no choice now but to listen. He’s telling you how much he hates you, how disappointed he is in you, how he’s utterly disgusted by your presence. He laughs again and it rolls into a harsh cough. It sounds painful.

He doesn’t mean it.

“You look much prettier under there! Stay there! Don’t take it off, I might just leap out the window to get away!” 

He doesn’t mean it.

“I can’t-” He burst into another fit of giggles. “I can’t believe how stupid you are! Don’t you get it?! I don’t want you here! Nobody does!”

He doesn’t mean it.

“I…�� A wheeze, a cough, he’s out of breath again but he can’t silence himself long enough to fill his lungs properly. “... I hate you. I hate you so much. I wish you would just-”

Your legs wobble for a moment before you collapse to your knees on the cool tile floor. The blanket pools further around you, its warmth and weight completely enveloping your body. You’re reminded of being a child again, wandering through the house with a blanket over your head and pretending to be some kind of spooky spectre. You would bump into walls without fail every single time. 

Your shoulders shake and you hold your breath to avoid sobbing, afraid of what he might say if he hears. Tears spill, but they’re hidden now. The only thing giving you away is how hard you’re trembling.

“You’re crying again?” He laughs. “At least your face is covered so I don’t have to see your pathetic face, even if your tears are soiling my blanket.”

“Shut up.” You whimper through your tears, and it sounds just as pathetic as you feel. You take a deep breath, hearing him shift around on the bed. He sounds a bit closer when he finally replies with a simple “Huh?”

“I said, shut up, Komaeda.” Your voice comes out more forceful this time, and you grip the blanket pooled on the floor around you until you’re sure your knuckles turn white. “Just shut up. Quit talking. For five minutes, please, for the love of god. I can’t…” Your voice shakes, throat tightens, and the tears start coming faster.

“Can’t what? Can’t stand to be away from me?” His tone is bitter, sarcastic, patronizing, but a sob finally escapes as you choke out a ‘Yes’ through your tears. You gasp for breath, and suddenly the dam breaks.

“When you were asleep, you quit breathing, and Komaeda I was fucking scared. I know you think everyone hates you, and some of them do, but-” You sniff, your nose is stuffy and your face is so damp with tears you’re starting to feel gross. “-but some of us actually don’t, and I don’t care if you don’t believe me. I thought you were going to die and I sobbed over you and I begged you to breathe again.”

He’s silent, but even if he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have been able to stop yourself and listen. It spills out of you like a waterfall and you don’t have the energy to force it to stop.

“I stayed, I haven’t slept, I haven’t eaten, I watched you this whole time because I can’t be away from you or else you’ll die.” You bring your hands to your face and double over, your hands the only thing separating your face from the floor. “I can’t let you die. I can’t, I won’t. But ever since you woke up, you look at me like- you don’t even look like you anymore!”

You swallow thickly. “Y-you don’t look like you, you don’t talk like you, it’s like you’re already gone. It’s like you already left.” 

You’re surprised you managed to hold it together this long. You made it through two murders and two executions, watching your classmates drop like flies around you. You made it through night after night, laying in bed waiting for the next body discovery announcement. Waiting for the next motive. Waiting for a scream to rip through the quiet nighttime air, waiting to guess whose voice it was.

A barely audible squeak leaves your throat, a half-hearted attempt at continuing your rambling, but your lips can’t form the words. You press your palms over your ears, prepared to shut out another wave of harassment. You can’t handle another insult, you can’t handle hearing about how everyone hates you, about how you should be the next to die. It doesn’t matter that it’s a lie, because it’s coming from him. A boy you felt for. A boy you kept an eye on. A boy you were scared for, scared of losing. 

Why did the thought of losing him hurt you more than it would - or had - for any of your other classmates?

The question echoes in your brain like a gunshot. You gasp between sobs, unable to form a coherent thought, much less answer such a loaded question. You just sat on the floor, stifling any noise as much as you could, wrapping your arms around yourself and squeezing your eyes shut, wanting to bury yourself in the thin white blanket until you disappeared into the fabric.

It takes you a good few minutes to collect yourself. When you yank the blanket off your head, your face is still stained with tears, eyes still red and puffy, breath still shaking with each inhale. Komaeda is on the floor next to you (you aren’t sure when he did that), his head hanging low between his shoulder blades, his breathing soft and steady. He’s asleep again, you think. That should make this easier.

You use the edge of the blanket to dry your cheeks, taking a deep breath before pushing yourself up off the ground. You toss the blanket over your chair and situate yourself behind Komaeda, once again hooking your elbows under his armpits and lifting him back onto the bed with a grunt. He stirs the moment you touch him, but you have him back on the bed before he can truly wake up. You toss the blanket over him, tucking it in at the sides as his tired eyes drift open and shut.

You’re about to return to your chair when a warm hand wraps around your wrist. 

He looks up at you and his grin is gone, his face mostly relaxed save for a twinge in his brow. And there, for a split second, as you stand over him and mentally prepare yourself for another insult, you see it. It’s tiny, it’s fleeting, but you catch a glimpse of the boy you just got done crying over. He’s not gone forever - when he recovers, he’ll come back to you, and knowing him you’ll be enveloped in his arms. He’ll wrap his coat around your entire body and hide you away in his silhouette, spewing a constant stream of apologies, ways to make up for the things he said even if he doesn’t remember them. Something tells you he’ll remember this moment, your puffy red eyes staring down at him with a look that probably conveyed the unease and slight fear you were feeling towards him.

You sit on the edge of the bed. He doesn’t let go of your wrist, his eyes drifting shut a moment later. His long fingers hold you close to him, and you watch his chest rise and fall with his calm, sleepy breathing.

You watch over him silently as the sun finally dips below the horizon. His silence, despite his consciousness, tells you everything. 

Maybe he actually gives a shit about you beyond your talent.

Or maybe he just went quiet because you told him to shut up. He’s pretty good at that.

[xiaophilia]

Hello! Could I please request some headcanons about a Reader in the SAGAU that is covered in tattoos and may seem scary, but is actually soft and really shy? Please don’t worry about the characters, do whoever you feel like writing for :)! Thank you and gn/gm ❤️❤️

‣I modified the request a bit into making the reader shy but also affectionate? I hope your okay with that. ALSO IM SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I LITERALLY COULD NOT THINK OF ANYTHING. I woke up at 4 to post this so so excuse this being title less....idk im sorry if this isn't what you wanted I had no idea where I was honestly going for

✎...Includes : GN! reader, Venti, Kazuha, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Zhongli, Diluc, scaramouche, Itto, Sayu, Klee, Diona and Qiqi ,(children are strictly written for platonically)

❬Tw: Cult, possessiveness, mentions of punishments and fluff ❭

You are their God it doesn't matter if you have markings covering your body they'd probably assume it's some kind of trend from your world? its unlikely since there are characters who have tattoos, take Xiao for an example.

there are some characters that would probably be a little intimidated by you and your tattoos (probably the kids) but it doesn't take them a long time to notice how shy you actually are.

And since your shyness most likely prevents you from initiating affection or just talking to anyone in general—

Some cultists would try and take advantage of that to keep you to themselves—monopolizing your attention and affection just for them to feel, ignoring the constant death glares sent to their direction when they steal you away from the rest of the cult. Examples would be Venti, Kazuha, Kaeya and Childe.

Venti being a little too touchy with you and constantly asks if you would cuddle him and if you give in either out of annoyance or out of the urge to be affectionate, he doesn't care. He will lay you down with him somewhere—be it in your tea pot or under the huge tree in Windrise— and trace his fingers over the patterns of your tattoos (I'm assuming that your tattoos are placed on your arms/legs)

Kazuha would marvel over them in fascination as he recites poems that he made just for you. Kaeya and childe ganging up to fluster you since your just so cute.

Characters like Xiao would be the one to relate to you the most since he too has a tattoo on his arm. If you feel a bit bold and ask if you can trace and look at his tattoos he'd be flustered but would let you do so.

The other cultist would be seething in jealousy and would get tattoos for themselves out of spite for Xiao and so that you can pay attention to them too.

Also characters like Zhongli and Diluc would probably get tattoos that a match or are similar to yours.

The children, Sayu, Klee, Diona and Qiqi would sometimes draw on your arms with (erasable) pens to add to your tattoos. They'd draw bombs cats, flowers, sun or even just simple smiley faces like ":D" on your arm or legs.

And if ever there are people who are dumb enough to judge you for your tattoos (NPCS probably) some of your more aggressive acolytes would not hesitate to bring to punishment onto them(scaramouche, Zhongli, Diluc, Xiao, Itto). After all, pathetic fools do not have the right to judge their God.a

[variousincorrectxreader]

Random 10:17 am SDR2 scenarios

part two of this post

Note: I fucking hate Hiyoko but it felt wrong leaving her out because because I’m a completist. Also the format is different bc im writing on a REALLY bad mobile phone.

Warnings: Mentions of a sword in Pekos part (the first one) Mikan being Mikan, Hiyoko being Hiyoko, Talk of dead bodies in Sonia's part.

Can be read as Non-despair in some parts, reference to despair canon in Mahirus part

rest under the cut

Peko Pekoyama: she teaches you sword fighting techniques so you can better defend yourself. In reality, she just wants to be able to spend more time with you, so she reaches for an excuse. It helps that she has to touch you to correct your stance. 

‘’Widen your stance, lower your body a bit more… yes, that’s perfect, Bun. You’re doing well.”

Akane Owari: on occasion she has been known to share her food with you, shocking I know, but if she knows you like what she’s eating she’ll offer you a little bit of it. (Emphasis on little but it’s the thought thatcounts.

‘’ Sup, babes I have some f/f! Want a crumb? Yes of course im willing to share?!?’’

Hiyoko Saionji (😒): Gives you some gummies and doesn’t insult you as often as she does the others. Admittedly she only gives you the lemon flavored ones because she hates them but she usually throws them out so be grateful

’S/o!! You big dummy, you’re late!! A-anyways… here’s some candy…’

Sonia Nevermind: lets her hair down (metaphorically) around you, knowing you wont judge her for her interests in serial killers, in return she’ll listen to you rant about your interests all day.

 ‘’…and that’s apparently how they dealt with the bodies, enough from me, how have things been with you, recently my love?’’

Mahiru Koizumi: constantly dotes on you, whether it be wiping your face after eating or holding your hand and pressing soft kisses onto them.

‘’S/o!! Theres no need to be scared, cmon let’s go and cuddle, okay? Will that make you  feel better?’’

Ibuki Mioda: dedicates songs and albums to you, all the song titles compliment you somehow and the album probably has an equally as flattering name.

“This goes out to Ibuki’s soulmate! Its called, Flaming Hot Cheeto’s arent as hot as my lover!”

Mikan Tsumiki: she feels so safe in your presence, so much so she lets you braid/style/play with her hair. Due to bad experiences with people in general its heartwarming to hear her ramble about things while you play with her hair.

“A-and after t-that I decided to u-use the n-non-stick bandages! AH!! Im rambling again im so- huh? I dont need to be sorry? Huuuue…”

Chiaki Nanami: Genuinely tries to stay awake during long conversations with you. Poor baby is just so sleep deprived, but you can see shes making an effort to listen to you while you talk about your Ultimate. Its only fair after all

“Hmmm. Im sleepy… but dont worry, you can… finish the story *yawns*”

[vidalinav]

im so happy you’re accepting prompts!! just know that there’s no pressure at all, and that we love your writing🤍 prompt: cassian and nesta talk about whether they’d still inevitably end up together if they weren’t mates and just alot of fluffy sweet banter

I did yours first because I really appreciated you saying that there was no pressure in completing it. I felt that and I thought it was the nicest thing in the world.

BUT It came out really stupid sorry so... I'm not going to tag anyone. However I will own my shame so here you go.

It's banter in the form of pillow talk, where Cassian constantly keeps Nesta up by asking her questions. In my brain, he goes on tangents and Nesta is the pragmatic one. That's like... okay Cassian. But again. STUPID!!!!!

~

“Do you think it would have been me?” Cassian asks as he tries to count constellations in fresh paint. “If we didn’t have the bond... would it have been us? I guess the real question is did the bond choose us from the start--our relationship destined? Or did the bond see us... how we acted and felt about each other, and some cosmic force recognized our love?

Nesta shifts in the bed, her eyes blinking up at him slowly. “Cassian these are not the type of questions you ask right before bed.”

But he has to ask, he always has to ask. There’s something about the darkness that has these questions bubbling out of his throat. “But think about it Nesta, don’t you think we’re sort of... odd.”

Cassian thinks about it all the time. There's no one more perfect for him then her and yet, he sees the way people look at them. His hands will always be stained with blood and Nesta is more fitted for white gloves and lace. And he knows she can hold a sword and fight with the best of them, but Nesta can fit anywhere and Cassian can’t fit.

“I mean I understand opposites attract,” he rambles on, “and we do have similarities, but we mostly fought in the beginning and yet I still wanted you even then. Was my want for you a part of the bond? Or was the bond part of wanting you? And if it’s the first, in another universe, in another time, would it have been me? And if it’s the second what if you hadn’t wanted me, too.”

Cassian turns to face her, the bed creaking as he moves. He watches as she frowns, her lashes casting shadows on her cheek. “I promised we’d have that time, but I never considered that in another life it might not have been me at all.”

It's not the first time he keeps her awake with some question or another.

Usually, she merely sighs exhausted at what do you think the meaning of life is? Does time even exist if we really think about it... Do you ever think about how you can know a person you’re entire life and only scratch the surface of who they are? Does that mean you can never really know a person truly in the first place and if that’s the case aren’t we all living with practical strangers?

More often than not Nesta’s covering her ears with the pillow, groaning while Cassian tries to pull it from her face. They’ve had a hundred and one nights like this. He wants a million more.

Cassian tries to catch his breath, almost wishing she’d groan or sigh or roll her eyes, play it off like it’s a stupid question because it is. he knows it is.

“So tell me,” he says, his words a whisper of worry, “what do you think? Was it always going to be us?

Nesta's brows furrow quizzically and she purses her lips. “I don’t know if you can tell this about me Cassian, but I don’t like many people.”

Cassian frowns at the words, “Is that an answer?”

Nesta shrugs, “I find it hard to believe I would have loved anyone else.”

“So you’re with me... by process of elimination?”

“Or...” She offers, her gaze alight with mirth, “you’re the exception.”

Hmm.

Cassian needs to think on that one.

“But hypothetically, what would you have done if it wasn’t me?” he goads. “We only exist because you turned fae, what if you hadn’t? There may or may not be a bond but the relationship is impractical if you’re human and I’m fae. You’d just get married to some poor bloke who gives you this large diamond ring and you have 12 children?”

Nesta scoffs, “Twelve?”

“Whatever number,” Cassian dismisses.

Nesta raises her hands to stop him, “we are not having twelve children.”

“That’s... a topic for another day,” Cassian waves off.

“No,” Nesta sings, “that’s a topic I will resolve now. We are not having twelve kids.”

“But I want a big family,” Cassian pleads, grabbing her hands and giving her that look that he knows makes her take pity on him.

Nesta rolls her eyes. “You’re head is big enough to fill up the entire house. We have no room for that many people. No. No!”

“The House is four stories. What are we suppose to do with all those rooms?”

“Cassian unless you are birthing these babies yourself in which I will fully support you emotionally, spiritually, and financially, we are not having twelve children. End of discussion.”

Cassian only grumbles out a response.

“And regarding your other question, I don’t know what I would’ve done. That scenario doesn’t exist. I’m fae, you’re fae. That’s it and unless we plan on dying tomorrow, I don’t know if we’d end up together in the next life. I don’t know if the bond keeps us coming back to each other. I don’t care. I want this life with you. I chose you and you chose me and we’re here together. And I guess, if the bond, or what I deem as love, means I’m going to have to answer these questions every night, then I guess that’s what I’m going to do.”

Nesta reaches for him, and Cassian shifts to make room for her. She settles her head on his outstretched arm. It tickles at his skin, but he can’t believe she’s just satisfied enough with that answer.

“Would you have married someone else though?”

Nesta sighs, but Cassian waits for the answer. She groans, mumbling about not getting any sleep.

“Probably,” she says at last. “Yes. If you want that answer, then yes. But quite honestly knowing my character and knowing the males in my town, we probably wouldn’t have lasted long. I would have killed him long before we ever reached twelve.”

Cassian laughs and Nesta brightens at the sound.

“Or he might have run head first into a moving carriage on his own accord. I wouldn’t have judged him.”

“How would you kill him?”

Nesta smirks, her eyes maliciously bright. “Poison... knives... a trip down the stairs.”

“Make it look like an accident.”

“Of course,” Nesta beams.

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” Cassian says, noting his mate’s excitement.

Nesta sets her hand on his cheek, rubbing her thumb along the rough stubble of his chin. “Murder is always on my mind.”

“I should probably stop keeping you up with my questions, then.”

Her lips are impossibly close to his, and he can feel her breath on his skin. “Maybe you should. I’m sure the House knows how to hide a body.”

Cassian laughs, the sound bright in the shadowed room. He’s sure that’s true and her lips raise at his calm shrug of acceptance. His eyes dart to her mouth.

Cassian wants to kiss her, but he has to tell her first.

“I love you.”

“I know,” she says, her lips nearly touching his.

Being near her is a relief. But hearing her speak is something else entirely. Maybe he asks her these questions because he wants to hear her voice into the last moments of the day. At all hours of the night.

Nesta wraps her hand around his hair and tugs.

But another question forms in his mind. “Would you’re family have approved of me?”

Nesta rolls her eyes, pulling away from him. Cassian grasps her arms, pulling her back. “Hey, come on now. You’ve indulged me this far.”

Nesta pretends to think about her answer, and as he waits she looks to the ceiling as if she’s actually thinking about it. Cassian can practically hear crickets.

“It’s taking you this long!”

“Well... I’m trying to be accurate!” She throws up her hands. “You know maybe they wouldn’t, because you’re not... princely. No offense.”

“None taken,” He remarks. Because he knows all too well the differences between them. Cassian doesn’t mind. She’ll be his queen. He can be her guard. Her knight. Whatever keeps her next to him.

“But then again, maybe they would because you are rich--hey!”

Nesta catches the pillow he throws and she throws it back at him. He catches it easily before it hits his face.

“Who hits their mate upside the head?” She yells.

Cassian rolls his eyes, “You hit me all the time.”

“I smack your butt. That is not the same.”

Cassian scoffs, “You won’t let me smack your butt.”

“That’s because you try to do it in public places!”

“Oh, so you’re okay if I tap your ass in private. You trying to tell me something Nes? Who knew you'd like to be spanked?”

Her cheeks redden and Cassian shrugs, thinking about it. "Actually I should've known that."

“I change my mind," She announces, grabbing his pillow, "they’d hate you and you know what? I would marry that man and I’d have twelve beautiful children!”

Then Nesta simply turns away from him and pulls the blanket over her head.

Cassian tries to pull the blanket down, but she doesn't loosen her grip. “Take that back! Nesta, take that back. I’m serious.”

“Nesta!” He hisses. “Nes, I’m not going to stop bothering you. Nesta!”

But Cassian slumps as the lump of blankets stays still. Nesta doesn’t even make a sound. 

“How about I pretend you didn’t just tell me about one of your fantasies and I'll bring it back up later. I’ll even pretend I found it in one of your books."

He rubs at what he thinks is her ass and Nesta shoves down the blankets with a flourish. Her hair is a mess of tangles all over the pillow.

“I hate you,” she says.

Cassian grins, setting his palms on her reddened cheeks.

“I love you,” He says softly, lightly tracing her soft skin with his thumb. It’s a privilege to be near her, to touch her, to be loved by her. To laugh and laugh and laugh. It doesn’t matter how, when, what, or why. “I wouldn’t want anyone else but you.”

Cassian kisses her lightly, “I still think we should talk about those children though.”

He merely gets smacked in the face with a pillow.

~

Fin.

~

I keep reading this and I can't make it better, so.... you win some, you lose some, you know.