#i completely deny it ever happened
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cuteniarose · 4 months ago
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Is this anything
#mmmmmmm yeah this is a main blog post#nia you’ve made this joke like 50 times already can you stop it maybe?#okay we get it the pretty noblewoman starts losing it after finding out her husband cheats on her. move on#the answer is no :) I will keep hammering in this comparison until I am physically forced to stop#and by physically I mean the fact I’m probably playing with fire by posting Summiya with half her tit out for like the third time#oh well. it’s been okay so far so let’s hope it will continue being so#aaaaanyway#I was absolutely not thinking of Hatice when I came up with Summiya and drew this piece but the vibes are there and comparison checks out#and I am absolutely not complaining because this means I get to spread some turkish soap opera fungus to my beloved partner in crime#hi Kat :)#Hatice may not be my favourite character. far from it in fact. it’s hard being a Nigar stan in this world 😔#as well as a firm believer that the show lied and that Nigar lived the rest of her life out in Sulina with her Esmanur#but tbh denying deaths happening at the end of season 3 in a mediocre early 2010s show is kinda my modus operandi at this point#who’s surprised? no one. absolutely nobody#….I got off topic again#ANYWAY don’t come @ me for Hatice’s death date I got like 3 different results when I looked it up#and went with the one that appeared in more than one source#also I’m not a historian I’m simply a lover of harem dramas and beautiful princesses with disorders#and comparing them to my vast network of avatarverse OCs#I realise this post is completely incomprehensible to everyone but Kat and me. but when has that ever stopped me before?#target audience of one and I like it that way#anyway I should probs quit my deranged ramblings and go eat something#ask me who Hatice sultan is I dare you#the legend of korra#original character#Summiya#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#hatice sultan
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sidesteppostinghours · 1 year ago
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feeling some rather intense thoughts and emotions over steps that arent mine, about an au that i did not create.
@/idlenight if you see this im sorry but i had to borrow your boy because it was all i could think about after seeing aurries tags
#ok but#julia and river bonding over living in others(specifically ricardos) shadow#julia was always just surge#the second in command to marshal charge himself#everybody always saw her as the lesser sibling#meanwhile river was charges sidekick#could never be seen by anybody as anything more than an extension of another person#julia loves her brother but she cant deny some of the things river says about him#when heartbreak happens shes devastated#not only did she lose her best friend#she lost the only person who really understood her#who would choose her over marshal fucking charge#and maybe she blames ricardo for his death. for not shutting river down completely when he insisted on going. its stupid but she cant help i#fast forward a few years and they both managed to pull eachother out of their post hb messes#theyre working together as a team and equals this time#julia finds river at the diner first#its the best thing thats ever happened to her even if river is so... different now#she got her best friend back and thats all that matters to her#then one way or another she finds out that river is the new sidestep#shes furious and horrified and grieving the man that he was but she doesnt tell a soul#not even ric. /especially/ not ric#and little by little? she starts agreeing with him. helping him even. until she reaches a breaking point and Very Publicly switches sides#probably throws a few curses ricardos way on love tv too#do you think chens relationship with river strains after that#chen tries convincing river to get julia to drop villainy#meanwhile river is having none of that shit#also would river use it as an excuse to finally chew out ricardo in rangers hq lmfao#i have to sleep now so bad but#nmoc: river becker#ortega
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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 2 years ago
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IGNORE ME I'M SORRY I KEEP TALKING ABT IT i'm just so not used to my cat not being around and it kinda kills me inside to not hear him walking around or meowing or sleeping at the bottom of the staircase anymore... it used to be like a nightly routine where i'd go downstairs and make myself a drink and give him some water and now i just. don't even wanna go down there anymore.
#you really underestimate how different things will be when they're gone. 18 years of learning his new routines and favorite places to nap#and it's just all. gone. not like i didn't experience it but just the fact that i will never experience it with him again... it's so hard#& that's like the last vestige of my childhood gone too. i mean i got my current dog when i was around 13/14 and she's gettin' up there too#so it's just like. my life dropped out from under me and i'm desperately clinging to what is left but there's not much#everything feels so hollow and i don't know hoe to vocalize that because my family is always trying so hard to heal and i don't want to#make their grief process any harder by accidentally awakening the same latent feelings in them. or whatever#i just miss him so so much but i know we made the right choice. he was old and we had a lot of good years together and we saved him from#spending his last few days in suffering by ending his pain early and offering him as much love and warmth and comfort as we could#and i know he appreaciated it and i know he loves us all and like that's not the part i have issue with#it's just. his lack of presence. i don't deny that his ghost may be around (my famjly is very spiritual like that and i have heard him) but#physically he's gone forever except for chunks of his fur and whatever else is laying around#loss is just so fucking unfair because it's completely understandable and makes total sense but it will never ever be unable to be felt...#idk. i'm just exhausted and sad and i miss my little guy. hell i still miss my dog and that happened like 5 years ago#love never goes away it just changes shaoe and makes you really really sad and kinda wanna kill youself but that would make THEM sad#so. you gotta live. you gotta be brave.
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rubys-domain · 2 years ago
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... I said I wanted this blog to be positive. but how's that gonna happen when I'm depressed as hell
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eurovision-del · 2 years ago
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We’ve had 24 national finals this year – over the past few months I’ve ranked at least the final of every single one, and I’m finishing tonight by looking at the Melodifestivalen finalists!
Smash Into Pieces – Six Feet Under
Loreen – Tattoo
Nordman – Släpp alla sorger
Jon Henrik Fjällgren, Arc North ft. Adam Woods – Where You Are (Sávežan)
Marcus & Martinus – Air
Panetoz – On My Way
Tone Sekelius – Rhythm of my Show
THEOZ ��� Mer av dig
Mariette – One Day
Maria Sur – Never Give Up
Kiana – Where Did You Go
Paul Rey – Royals
After all the semi-finals I really wasn’t feeling impressed with Melfest this year, but I actually quite like the final in general. Six of my personal DTFs are here, with one (Now I Know) staying in Andra Chansen, and only one (Länge leve livet) failing to make it through a semi. Being Sweden, it’s a given that all these songs are well put together – well produced and very polished.
Two songs in particular stand out to me from this line-up. The first is unsurprisingly the rock track Six Feet Under, which I was very excited by when I heard it! If there’s a rock track at Melfest there’s a solid chance it will be my favourite entry. The stuff that makes it here is generally rather formulaic, never anything experimental, but it’s always decent quality. I found the chorus of Six Feet Under very memorable, and the singer has a fantastic rock vocal – I loved when he belted that top note at the start of the final chorus! I also really enjoyed the cyberpunk aesthetic of the staging.
Then there’s Tattoo. I first want to say that I love how this was staged, it was easily the most exciting and interesting performance to watch. I do also really enjoy it as a song. It’s a catchy piece of dance pop, very well produced even by Sweden’s standards, impactful yet accessible with it’s familiar sounding beat. Loreen elevates it further live, with her powerful, distinct voice, and artistic performance. I don’t enjoy it as much as I love Statements, but it’s a very good entry nonetheless.
Tattoo should win easily tomorrow, it stands head and shoulders above anything else in the contest. I struggle with this one a little, however, because I think if I heard this from someone other than Loreen I’d definitely consider it a notably good pop song, but wouldn’t see it as a potential winner. However, it’s also very hard to separate her from it – her calibre as an artist is undeniable. I don’t know if this is winning Eurovision, but I think it’s fair to consider it. Of course, until tomorrow we don’t know for certain that she’s going, I’d be very intrigued if someone else did manage to beat her and get the ticket to Liverpool instead, but it’s a conversation I expect we’re going to be having for the next couple of months.
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tiredlinguist · 1 year ago
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god, this makes sense. after my mom found out i started testosterone, she told me i had caused her more grief than she could imagine, and that she didn’t even want to think about or look at other people’s daughters. she told me she couldn’t focus on anything else, she’d stopped caring about her job, she wished she were dead. she was mourning me, and meanwhile i was becoming the person i had begged my parents for years to let me become.
she did this following the first phone call we’d had in months, aka the first time she’d heard my voice after it dropped. i can’t help but think that’s what triggered her to tell me all the things i mentioned above (and more, that i don’t want to bring up). my low voice was tangible proof that i was destroying my body, and therefore was destroying hers
the cis maternal urge to treat your trans son’s body like an extension of your own body, and to react to said trans son’s physical transition as if they might as well have just started hacking away at your own body with a rusty axe, really is something else.
my mom hasn’t seen my chest post-op at all because the idea of it is so awful to her that the one time we took my bandages off with her present, she ran across the hotel room to hide from it and started crying to my brother about it (yes, with actual tears). she drove an hour and a half with us at 5:30am to my post-op just to sit in the waiting room because she refused to come in and see me after the surgeon took the bandages off. my dad has been the only one helping me with recovery things like changing bandages and monitoring healing because she still won’t look at my chest.
and she says that’s because she loves me and cares about me. love is when you treat the body your child can finally live in comfortably like it’s your worst nightmare. apparently.
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hannieehaee · 2 months ago
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HOW SWEET
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18+ / mdi
summary: after years of an unspoken fight between you and your self-proclaimed enemy, you find yourself forced to work with your life-long rival, kim mingyu, as your father offers him a position at the family bakery. with such forced proximity and endless arguments, how are you supposed to cater to your duties when mingyu's presence brings so much tension to the kitchen?
content: baker!mingyu, enemies to lovers, pining, one sided crush that becomes two sided!, afab reader, smut, teasing, semi public sex (its done in a public establishment but no one is there), breast play, food play (frosting on tits basically), fingering, handjob, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 8.4k
a/n: i know nothing about cooking or about how a bakery runs so please take everything here with a grain of salt and just enjoy it for what it is: self-indulgent smut
masterlist | patreon
Twelve years.
Twelve years dedicating yourself to your craft, attending summer camps, taking elective classes, paying for extracurricular classes, working summers at your dad's place, making all effort known to man, yet this is how it all ended.
Maybe claiming this to be the end was slightly dramatic, but that's how it felt at the moment. As you stared up at your dad and the excuse of a man standing next to him, far too cocky for you to allow your anger yo subside.
Today had been an average day. Throughout your life, you were content to admit that most of your days could be categorized as good, especially after years of having found comfortable employment at your father's renown bakery soon after high school (thank you nepotism). Attending culinary school whilst managing a part-time job at your dad's place had been anything but difficult. It was quite an easy and enjoyable job, one in which you could proudly say you'd had the chance to grow up in.
Your father had owned the place since before you could even walk, building it up to become a favorite in your city. Business was always booming, and it just so happened to fulfill your passion for baking — one which your dad had obviously passed down to you, but you weren't complaining. You occasionally took up shifts during high school, only becoming a full-fledged part-time employee during university, recently graduating and upgrading to full time. Life was good and steady.
So, it was fair to say that most of your days were good.
However, there was the occasional day that was ruined by the mere presence of a particular individual.
You hadn't meant to dislike him as much as you did. Anyone who knew you could vow for your likable personality and charismatic demeanor, meaning it was difficult for you to bump heads with people (at least most of the time). But there was just one particular person who made your blood boil from the day you met him. It had been so long ago, you couldn't date back the moment — nor the instance — in which your dislike had begun brewing. Fortunately, the dislike was completely mutual. You didn't have to feel like an asshole for scowling at the man any time you saw him, because you were usually met by a mirror of your expression or an annoyingly frustrating smirk — similar to in this moment.
The frustrating man in question was none other than Kim Mingyu, the resident heartthrob and well known for his passion and talent for baking. Hatred for the insufferable man aside, his abilities as a baker, and chef in general, could not be denied. The mere implication of praise made you gag, but you liked to think you were mature enough to admit talent when you saw it. This was something you'd never verbalize, however, knowing the man to also be one of the cockiest people you'd ever met.
There were a myriad of reasons as to why your current predicament ruined not only your day, but likely many upcoming ones. The main reason could be boiled down to the smile on Mingyu's face as he stood to your father's side. The cockiness emitting from him was enough to get your blood boiling and to create a carnal desire within you to beat him to a pulp.
The reason for his smile, however, was what truly took the cake.
Within the past moments in which you'd been processing your father's words, you remained silent and stagnant before them, leading your father to repeat the cursed sentence once more.
"Mingyu's going to be working with us from now on," he'd said with an innocent smile on his face, unknowing of your feud with the man in question.
Everything had come crashing down in that moment, but any more silence from you would mean Mingyu won this round, which was something you simply could not have — even under these circumstances.
Shaking all the anger and hateful memories from your head, you straightened your back and morphed a smile onto your face, one good enough for your dad to buy and for Mingyu to be unable to judge. Your hand extended as a courtesy, offering itself to Mingyu as a form of welcome, something which your father likely expected from you.
"In that case, welcome to the team," you spoke for the first time, sweetly enough to grant you a satisfied smile from your father. The poor man was blissfully unaware of your dislike for Mingyu, so no blame really fell on him for his blind decision.
Grasping your hand in his larger one, Mingyu shook hands with you, satisfied smile still on his face, "Looking forward to working with you," he said, far too content for you to not want to take him out back and-
"I know you kids already know each other from back when you were in school, so it should be easy for you to show him the ropes, right, kid?", asked your dad, interrupting your violent thoughts.
Your head whipped to him, "Show him the ropes?"
"Yeah. I was thinking you could train him? He's already an amazing baker, but maybe he should shadow you for a few weeks. You know, just in case," your father clarified.
Mingyu's close-lipped grin grew wider somehow, almost as if the knowledge of your discomfort at being around him overpowered his own dislike of your presence.
"Uh, yeah. Sure, dad," you found yourself agreeing against your will.
Your dad clapped his hands once in satisfaction, then proceeding to patting your back in encouragement as he tended to do.
"Thanks, kid. Well, I'll leave you two to it," he then turned to Mingyu, "Welcome to the team, son. Y/N here will show you where you can get your apron and give you a general overview of the place before your first day tomorrow," and with that, he made his exit.
Behind, he left a fuming you and an overly pleased Mingyu. Silence filled the room for a few moments until you found it vital to curse out the infuriating boy in front of you.
But, as per usual, he beat you to it.
"Happy to see me, cupcake?"
God damnit. You forgot about the annoying nicknames he'd insisted on calling you by since meeting back in high school.
Cupcake, baby, sweetheart, sweetiepie, babe, honey, darling. And these were the more tame ones. You did not want to think about the instances in which he'd called you hot stuff or sexy in public. They'd led to public displays of aggression you weren't exactly proud of.
"I thought you were studying culinary abroad. What happened? Got yourself kicked out?," you grumbled, walking over to the back of the restaurant with him following close by.
"Nope. Just decided my expertise could be used back home. And clearly since you seem to be the best they got around here."
It was as if he was allergic to not bugging the shit out of you.
You turned to face him, blinking harshly at the unexpected proximity before taking a step back and responding to his smirk with a frown, "Listen, Mingyu. You heard my dad. I'm in charge of you. If you disregard my authority, I won't hesitate to send your ass running. Do you understand?"
This made his grin grow bigger for some reason. Knowing he was getting under your skin was great for his entertainment.
"Yes, ma'am," he bit his lip in amusement.
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Training Mingyu was entirely unnecessary.
To your disdain, he was actually quite good at what he did. It was as if baking was second nature to him, just something he'd somehow been born with.
And worst of all, everyone else working at your dad's shop seemed to notice this and could never let anyone forget.
Every day there was one or another form of praise for Mingyu. Whether it was regarding his baking or his people skills, Mingyu was practically employee of the month as far as you were concerned — despite having been around for only a week. He was an overachiever as always, and it unfortunately always worked in his favor.
Mingyu, as per usual, basked in on the constant praise. He was a social butterfly at heart. Everywhere he went, he left with at least one new friend.
You were suddenly feeling alienated at your own family's business.
"What's with the sour face, pumpkin?" he nudged your shoulder as he joined you on the counter, needlessly helping you frost some cupcakes.
"You're ruining my life."
Okay, that might've been a tad dramatic.
"I've followed your every rule. I'm literally the perfect employee."
"I meant with your presence."
"Princess, I thought we were done with this whole 'will they, won't they' thing. I think what you're feeling might just be sexual frustration."
You puffed out some hot air in frustration, not bothering to look at him as you continued to do your work.
"Do you think my father would fire me if I strangled one of his employees?"
He pretended to ponder over it with a hum, "There's way more fun things you could do to me with your hands," was what he settled with.
"Is flirting with me your new method of torturing me with your presence?"
"Nope. Just decided to find a new approach to make my interest known."
He'd said it so nonchalantly you'd almost missed it. It made you halt your movements, allowing Mingyu to fully take over on what you were doing.
"What?"
"This can't come as news to you. I've been flirting with you since middle school," he kept up his nonchalance, not even looking at you as his eyes remained glued to the task at hand.
"Flirting? You call being the bane of my existence for the past twelve years 'flirting'?", you gaped at him, regaining your snark back and snatching the half-frosted cupcake from his hand.
"Everyone else sees it," he shrugged, "You just need to catch up."
Then he left, putting his hands on some other part of the kitchen and leaving you to ponder on that.
Was this supposed to be a confession?
It was entirely too cliche — competitors turned enemies due to circumstance, with one of them being hopelessly in love with the other.
God, that was a dramatic way of putting it.
It has been suggested by other people in the past. Onlookers, classmates, friends, you name it. Everyone had at some point suggested that Mingyu might have feelings for you (or you for him). That your rivalry was born out of that dumb cliche. Pulling at a girl's pigtails to get her attention.
Maybe it seemed that way from an outside perspective, but your disdain for Mingyu was genuine, and you were certain the feeling was entirely mutual.
You couldn't imagine the thought of Mingyu actually being in love with anyone, much less you. The guy was far too in love with himself to allow room for anyone else. Plus, all past interest he'd shown in you had been through insulting you and getting in your way. What was he, seven?
This was probably just another way of getting in your nerves. There was no reason for him to suddenly confess, after all. He'd already gotten a job at your dad's bakery — the most renown in town. What else could he possibly be after?
You scoffed at the thought, opting to put it in the back of your mind as you finished off the last few cupcakes and boxed them to prepare them for pickup.
Turning around with the boxed cupcakes in hand, you just so happened to make eye contact with Mingyu as he prepared some dough across the room. His annoyingly short sleeves gave perfect view of his strained arms as he battered at the mixture.
You let your eyes wander to his muscular arms for a mere half second, but that was enough for Mingyu to catch you with a smirk and a wink, flexing a little extra just to piss you off. Your eyes rolled as you looked away, but you were pretty sure you felt yourself flush a bit.
Mingyu's looks had been something you'd always attempted to ignore, but fuck, you suddenly felt all the more aware of them after his stupid confession.
Confession, if you could even call it that.
~
It didn't take you long to entirely disregard Mingyu's mind games. No stupid allusion to a crush would get you out of focus, especially not now.
Upon your return from being away at culinary school, your dad had begun instilling more and more trust in you to take care of the shop. As time passed, he'd occasionally be absent in order to test your skills as a trustworthy employee. You were sure even more responsibilities were to fall on your lap soon, and you were hopeful that was the case. You'd performed well so far, and Mingyu's presence was not going to deter that progress.
That instance, however, had not been the only time in which Mingyu decided to mess with your head. Gone were his boyish attempts at bothering you, the many that you'd gotten used to throughout the years. No, now he'd decided to play nice. He decided he'd be helpful and some sick version of charming that would have any other girl swooning.
But not you. You knew better. You weren't sure what game he was playing at, but you weren't going to fall for it like every other person in his vicinity.
Sure, maybe you looked like a dick to everyone else around you, constantly shooting Mingyu down when he'd try and help you out in the kitchen, but they didn't know about your history together. Mingyu had always made it so that you'd be painted as the mean girl. He'd get in your way, sabotage you, question your skills. But he'd always do it in an ingenious way that left you dumbfounded, looking ungrateful and just plain mean.
So when he suddenly decided to play nice, both for any onlookers and for you, it was difficult for you to actually take him seriously.
But still, you couldn't deny the effect his confession had had on you. You might've disregarded it as a simple play of his, but it still remained in your head, itching at you every time he so much as walked into the bakery.
"Sup, babe. Need help with that frosting?"
Speak of the devil.
Not even facing away in a lone corner of the bakery as you worked on a menial task could he take the hint.
"What are we making?", he tried again, now invading your personal space as he peaked at what your hands were working on.
"Is silence an option?"
"You know I'll just keep bugging you til you answer me. Make it easier for the both of us."
His head was now low enough for his chin to rest on your shoulder. His annoyingly strong arms were resting on the counter in front of you. One of them was conveniently rounding your body as he reclined on the counter. It was a pain to admit even to yourself, but the proximity made you lose focus.
God, what was wrong with you?
You'd always known Mingyu to he attractive. Sue you, okay? But his annoying personality was always in the way of any possible attraction you could've had for him. It wasn't until his stupid, idiotic, unnecessary, unprofessional, annoying, fake confession that you'd begun feeling this way. His constant suggestive stares and proximity were not helping your case either.
"Hmm, you need more strength. The consistency's gonna be all off if you do it like this. Here, let me ..."
Then his hands held onto yours, guiding you as you whisked the butter into a creamy consistency.
You couldn't even react. Your fight or flight reaction failed you, instead choosing to freeze at his touch.
Had you ever touched his hand before?
"See? It's like this. You should just use the electric whisk, that way you don't need all this strength- Oh, shit, am I hurting you?"
He backed off a bit, taking note of your frozen state. Fuck. If he noticed you were actually flustered, you were done for.
"No, just get off me, god," you huffed as a cover.
Mingyu scoffed at this, going back to helping you upon realizing he hadn't actually been doing any more harm than usual.
"You make it kinda hard to be nice sometimes, you know? But that's fine. I'll keep doing it. When you least expect it, you won't even remember hating me anymore," he sounded sure of himself.
Now was your turn to scoff, hands working on the frosting despite Mingyu practically doing all the work for you, "What makes you so sure?"
He took a moment to himself to chuckle.
"You're breaking down. Two weeks ago you never would've let me this close to you," he leaned right into your ear for the next part, "It's nice, isn't it? When you're not in denial?"
That's when you finally pushed him off, huffing at his boldness.
"I'm still your boss. Get your ass out of here and get to work."
That was the best cover you could come up with. He had been right. You'd been letting him get away with more and more as the days passed, and now he was messing with your head.
"Yes, ma'am," he was smirking. Your back was facing him, but you knew him well enough to know.
The job in front of you was practically done. Anything else would be overkill and you knew this, but he'd gotten into your head again. His mere presence had distracted you. Again. And the worst thing of all was that he'd been right. You were wearing down. Becoming more susceptible to his flirtatious advances and even forgetting why you hated him in the first place.
Mingyu had never deliberately hurt you in all those years you'd known him, nor had you him. In reality, it had all been a childish feud you'd grown far too used to to ever let go. But at the same time, giving in to him made you feel weak. You couldn't let some stupid charm break you down so easily.
You had to stay strong, even if that meant embarrassing yourself in front of Mingyu every once in a while.
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The next development of your reaction to his shamelessness had been the worst. It made you feel like you were existing outside your body, watching yourself slowly crumble under the extra attention he'd been giving you.
By this point, not only were you constantly flustered at his proximity, but you found yourself affected even when he wasn't around. All it took was a few more suggestive glances and the occasional gracing of skin as a lame excuse to pass by when the kitchen was crowded to get you thinking about him outside of work.
You'd even come to dream of him, waking up at 3AM in a cold sweat, gasping for air at the vivid memories of what'd he'd done in your imagination. Seeing him after such instances made you an even bigger mess in the kitchen. It affected your work at times, causing you to require even more unwarranted help for him, thus being in closer proximity and continuing the endless cycle.
The first time it happened was the worst of all. You hadn't known how to handle it. How to behave around him when your mind was clouded with false memories of a Mingyu that didn't exist. It was your first time embarrassing yourself in front of him. Your usual collected demeanor, able to fire back at him without a second thought, was frozen in place.
You'd avoided him all day, knowing you'd lose focus the moment you met his eyes. The way he'd touched you in that dream was between you and God. Even if you liked to deny it, Mingyu was a smart man. He'd trace that look in your eye right back to dirty thoughts and never let you live it down.
Avoiding him was your only option.
But, of course, that was entirely impossible in such a small kitchen. That, and you were pretty sure god just didn't like you very much.
It was an accident. You had practically ran from him the moment he stepped foot in the bakery. You'd even managed to avoid you must of the day, but when your eyes accidentally met, you freaked out, dropping the batter you'd been making in the process.
It had, of course, caused a huge noise, halting everything else happening in the kitchen as Mingyu rushed to your side. You'd gotten your shoes dirty, with some batter even making it to your legs. It was fortunate you'd been wearing a knee-length dress, or else you would've needed a change of clothes.
Unlike what you'd expected, he didn't mock you. He got attention away from you, picking up after you and taking you to the back in order to help you clean up. You were mortified, knowing that the cause of the mess had been the same boy kneeling in front of you, cleaning you with a few rags he'd taken from the kitchen.
Even your current predicament made you blush. He'd been on his knees in your dream too.
"Are you okay? You haven't said anything all day."
He broke the silence, finally looking up at you as he continued to rub at the leftover batter on your legs.
You looked away immediately. This was not a sight you could handle right now.
"It's nothing."
"Are you sure? I won't make fun of you. You've already given me enough ammunition, but I held back," he joked, "C'mon. Is something bothering you?"
Letting your eyes find him again, you gulped. His furrowed brows told you he meant it, but you were too distracted by everything else about him. He was wearing a very short-sleeved shirt, and his muscles popped a little extra due to their grip on your leg. The world just wasn't on your side today.
"Just distracted today, I guess."
"Oh. Well, can I take advantage of that, then?", he smiled, "I know I'm the one kneeling, but maybe I still have the upper hand."
He got up then, having finished cleaning you up. He then leaned down, hands on his knees to meet your height as you sat down. There was a glint of satisfaction in his eyes, almost as if he'd been reading your thoughts from the moment you walked in today.
"Are you distracted enough to say yes if I asked you on a date?", his fangs showed as he smiled.
Your eyes widened.
"What? What are you talking about?"
You didn't even process the words. Your mind was still busy thinking about him on his knees.
"No? Okay, I guess I'll try again tomorrow," one of his hands reached to your own, tracing it with his thumb teasingly before standing to his full height again, "I'll break you down soon enough. I'm sure you're aware of that."
With that, he left, clearly satisfied that he'd somehow numbed you. You weren't sure if that was the result of his usual cockiness, or if you'd been too obvious in your avoidance of him today, but it still made you flush.
He was right. He did have the upper hand.
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It'd now been a little over a month since Mingyu had begun working at your father's bakery. It had also been only a month since his confession, which had been accompanied by endless heat on your cheeks and an embarrassing burning in your stomach.
Mingyu's flirting had persevered, with a mixture of subtle physical contact, pet names, longing stares, hell, he'd even caught you in a back hug a few times (his large frame dwarfing you from behind was something you prohibited yourself from thinking about after such instances). It was safe to say that you were now pretty convinced that your original assessment had been wrong.
Mingyu did genuinely like you. And he was not shy in his attempts to make you his.
He'd been nonchalant about it, but he'd asked you out a few times so far. When you'd reject him, he'd only chuckle, biting his lip and eyeing you up and down before leaving with satisfaction in his eyes. It was like your constant rejections kept him going. It was driving you insane.
Knowing someone like Mingyu — tall, handsome, intelligent, accomplished, etc. etc. etc. — was so into you was breaking you down little by little. It was safe to say that your attraction to him had grown with the passing of time. There was just something about his insistence that got to you (that and the yummy packaging he happened to come in).
It was winter at the time, which usually came accompanied by lots and lots of business. Whether it was for winter themed celebrations, or the holidays themselves, you received personalized orders quite often. Sometimes you'd even have to manage all the catering when it came to sweets.
Winter also came with its downsides. Such as sickness going around. The kitchen just so happened to be a place small enough for sickness to spread quite quickly. And it just so happened that most of your staff had fallen ill, including your father, who usually liked to oversee this specific time of the year with a watchful eye.
Down to four people, you'd have to handle most of everything on your own for at least the following week.
And, of course, Mingyu just so happened to be one of those people. That left you with Mingyu, yourself, the delivery boy, and some poor unsuspecting soul who'd have to bare witness to the tension that'd undoubtedly fill the bakery while you and Mingyu were there almost completely alone.
It almost made you feel bad for them.
Almost.
"Well, Lucy called in sick. It's just you and me now," was the first thing Mingyu said upon clocking in, already tying his apron behind his back — always tight enough to show off his godly form.
You had already been freaking out at the consistent decrease in healthy employees. This did not help your nerves at all. You were sure the grimace on your face must've shown it.
"W-what? Lucy's gone? We can't get all this work done with only three people, much less just us!", you felt yourself start to freak out.
Mingyu crossed the threshold of the kitchen then, hands going directly to your shoulders to direct your attention to him.
"Listen. I graduated with honors in culinary school, and so did you. We got this, okay? Your dad trusts you to be in charge for a reason," Mingyu reassured.
For once, there was no flirtation or teasing in his voice, but instead compassion.
Somehow, he managed to calm you down immediately. You almost fell for the care in his eyes and initiated a hug to express your gratitude.
Almost.
Snapping out of it, you took his hands off your shoulders and stepped away, huffing out an awkward 'yea, thanks' before walking over to get your own apron. All you got from Mingyu in response was a chuckle, leading you to believe he'd noticed your flustered state.
Whatever. You had more pressing things to worry about today.
~
Three hours into the day, everything was more calm. You'd gotten over the biggest hurdles of your current orders. There were a total of three large catering orders to fulfill, seeing as you'd closed down the shop due to illness suddenly falling to literally all of your employees.
As of now, you and Mingyu had a pretty good handle on it. You'd managed to work smoothly with each other while you didn't bicker.
Currently you were working separately, you decorating the frosting of a mass amount of cupcakes for a winter wedding while Mingyu stood at the opposing counter and worked on the cake, quietly humming some tune as he did so. It was calm and quiet. Quite odd for the two of you.
Suddenly, you felt a presence next to you. But you remained focused.
"You're kind of slow at this."
You rolled your eyes, ignoring him.
"I could help you," he sing-sang.
"Are you done with the cake already?"
"What can I say? I'm the best at what I do."
"Is this your plan to get me to like you back? Bug me until I break down?", you finally let yourself look to the side, being met with the sight of a very pleased Mingyu.
"Oh, no, I have way better plans for that."
He didn't say anything after that. Not until you felt a huge presence wrap itself around you from behind, once again taking a hold of your hands and beginning to guide your movements as you frosted the cupcakes with their intricate designs. You weren't sure why you let your body be limp and allow him to do as he wished, but you did so anyway.
Your body worked against you, leaning into him as he got closer to you by the second. It wasn't long until his mouth made it close enough to your ear, breath hitting it and resulting in a barely-there shiver.
"See? It's easier when I help you. Not so bad, is it?", he murmured.
You used your shoulder to nudge him away, creating some distance between you and scoffing at his boldness. You shuffled a few steps away, leaving him leaning against nothing as you continued to do your work. Maybe you were weak, but you would not let yourself fall so easily. That'd mean giving him all the power.
"C'mon. You know this isn't one sided. I've seen how you look at me," he chuckled in disbelief.
You continued to give him the cold shoulder while he took a spot next to you on the counter, a smirk on his face as you petulantly ignored him. It was clear to you he was entertained by the concept of chasing you. It was unfortunate that you also kind of enjoyed it.
Mingyu scoot over more and more by the second, not bothering to be subtle at all.
"So you're saying that these past twelve years have been a genuine feud to you? You actually hate me?", he didn't believe the words as he asked him, disbelief in his tone.
"Shut up, Mingyu."
His body fully faced yours now, only able to see your side profile as you continued to stubbornly work, your attempts in ignoring him decreasing by the minute.
"Well, it wasn't like that for me. I always kind of hoped we'd both come back home from college, fresh and new, and completely forget about the stupid games we played when we were kids," he took a few steps forward, "And I know that you want the same thing. Maybe you didn't plan for it to happen, but now you're changing your mind about me. I'm not an idiot. I know you better than you think."
"It's not like that," you finally turned to face him, exasperated, "It's the forced proximity. You're just getting in my head and-"
"Am I?", he cornered you once again, hands stopping your own from their movements.
"Or maybe I've always been in your head," he turned you to face him, completely crowding you against the counter and leaving not an inch of space between you. Your middles were connected and your chest went up and down in such deep breaths that your upper halves were almost touching.
"I think you want me too. And I think you never really hated me. It was all just in your head. Just a sick amount of sexual tension hidden by some stupid rivalry," his hands locked around your wrists, placing them flat on his chest as he dared lean down.
Contrary to the cold, unaffected facade you wanted to present to him, you gulped up at him. He'd been right with the 'sexual tension' bit. It had been bugging at you for days now, invading your time alone and even, on occasion, your dreams. And now that he stood so close to you, acknowledging that much as he stared down at you with full intent on following through with whatever tension was filling the room at the moment ... it had you heating up, to say the least.
But still, that stubborn part of you at the very back of your brain still insisted on attempting to hit the brakes one last time — even if it was the last thing you actually wanted to do.
"Mingyu-"
"You know, you've never actually rejected me. You've told me you hate me, that I'm the bane of your existence, that you hope I get fired, but you've never actually told me to stop," he interrupted, "So. Tell me. Tell me to stop. Tell me that no part of you wants me back and I'll stop."
He looked at you with a mixture of conviction and self-assuredness in his eye. As if he knew what the outcome of his challenge would be.
A few silent seconds passed. Your body was not cooperating with your mind. The former wanted to pull him down, close the distance and damn any work you had left to do. The latter, though, prevented you from even speaking. Your mouth opened slightly, but nothing came out.
Mingyu tilted his head to the side in amusement before putting you out of his misery. One of his hands left the counter where it had been bracketing you against it, coming up to your chin and tilting it upwards, challenging you even further.
"I know you. I know that stubborn brain of yours won't let you admit to defeat. It's one of my favorite things about you," he breathed against you, face close enough that his airy voice landed directly on your lips, "Which is why I'm going to do this for the both of us."
Nowhere in your mind had you ever expected Mingyu to kiss you softly. Up until a month ago, you had never even entertained the thought of it ever actually happening (except maybe once or twice in passing — moments you'd buried deep down due to your burning dislike for him). It didn't come as much of a shock when the first kiss he'd given you was filled with more passion than your body could handle.
Mingyu pressed up against you, with an aggression that suggested any amount of space between you offended him. His hands went to your waist, ensuring there was no escape from this (not that you wanted any). And in a similar fashion, you mimicked the fervor of his kiss, hands already pulling at his hair and earning groans of pleasure vibrating into your mouth.
It was very reminiscent of your relationship. It was a competition. An attempt to show the other who was better, who was in charge.
But as per usual, Mingyu just so happened to get the upper hand.
His lips traveled down to your jaw, finding your neck and leisurely making a home there. Heavy breaths were released by the two of you as you attempted to catch your breaths. Mingyu had started panting out words, but it took your brain a few moments before it could begin processing words after that kiss.
"Fuck ... Can't fucking stand being around you. You drive me insane," he groaned when his hips couldn't help themselves but begin a slow grind against your own.
You still couldn't say anything. Only embarrassing mewls and pathetic excuses for his name would leave your lips as his hands felt you up, the simple movement of his hips already making you lose your mind.
"Made me work so fucking hard for this," his lips found your ear, one had tilting your head to the side so he could bite and the lobe and lick at it teasingly, "But it was all worth it ... Look at you, being so nice and pretty for me."
A sigh left your lips at his whispers. Had your brain been at full function, you would've argued back, would've maybe tried switching your roles and taken charge. But, as embarrassing as it was to admit, turning off your brain and becoming a dumb, brainless version of yourself as he dry humped you to heaven was too enticing to pass up.
His hands made work of both your aprons within seconds, finding comfort under your shirt quickly after. The teasing touch of his cold fingers tracing your skin made your breath hitch, but still no coherent words left you. You continued to be limp against the counter, happy to be sandwiched by him.
"'m just gonna take this off ... Okay, baby? ... Yeah, see? Fuck, so pretty. Show up to work with this pretty thing? Shit ..."
That's how you ended up shirtless in your parents' bakery, a pretty lace number covering your breasts while Mingyu pawed at it with awe. His lips trailed down to your chest, kissing at the bare skin with a starved demeanor. Hands continued to play at your clothed breasts, with your hardened peaks receiving just enough stimulation to have your head falling back.
Mingyu nosed at your skin. His kisses were endless despite the limited skin available. Your mind felt dizzy at such stimulation so close to your nipples. You were aching for more.
Your back arched, pressing your chest closer to his lips and mewling when he took the hint, wrapping his lips around your nipple through the thin fabric of the bralette. Teeth toyed teasingly at you through the cloth, but it still had your eyes fluttering.
Fortunately for you, Mingyu was just as desperate as you for more direct contact, which led him to ripping off the flimsy piece of lace separating him from your breasts. A gasp was all you could do to complain, too distracted to actually scold him for his carelessness when his hands began to teasingly toy at your bare tits, giving you some stimulation, but still not what you were truly aching for.
But as soon as he started, he stopped, pulling an annoyed whine from you.
"Gyu-"
Disregarding you, he reached over to the frosting you'd been working with before he interrupted you. Swiping a few fingers through the cream, he brought his hand forward, causing your eyes to follow it as if entranced.
His movements led you to believe that he wanted you to suck the cream from his hands. Something which made you pulse down south, as embarrassing as it was to admit. But before his fingers reached your awaiting mouth, he redirected them towards his own, humming in exaggerated bliss as he sucked at his own fingers, eyes zeroing down on your face.
Your eyes may have expressed some annoyance, but you both knew you were aching for him.
"Mm, it's good," he hummed, "Wanna try?"
You made it. You knew it was good. But you nodded regardless. You wanted to taste it. Taste him.
He kissed you again, tongue going directly into your mouth and passing any remnants of it from his tongue to yours. Meanwhile, you froze, shirtless, waiting for something, anything else, while he abused your mouth with his tongue.
Embarrassingly enough, you couldn't help but try and suck any sweetness out of his tongue, moaning into his lips as he reacted to you, a slight smirk forming against your face.
"Good, huh?," he smiled satisfied once he pulled away, "But I think it'd taste better if I ..."
Then you felt a sudden coldness on your chest, making you gasp at the cold feeling on your burning skin.
The bastard had smeared frosting on your tits.
Your breath became even heavier than it already was. The falling and rising of your chest said everything your horny brain couldn't muster out. And similarly, Mingyu's breath hitched at the sight, eyes glued directly to your tits with eyes that told you he was pained to not have you in his mouth at this very moment.
So then he remedied that problem.
He started off teasingly, as he always did. His tongue was tentative as it made contact with your cream-battered nipple. The tip of his tongue circled at it, finishing off with what you could only call sheer desperation as he wrapped his mouth around it, suckling at it until nothing was left and refusing to stop there.
One of his hands gripped at your waist harshly, insistent on keeping you folded against him while the other held onto your tit, angling it towards his mouth so he could continue uselessly cleaning it from the mess he'd made. The same happened to your other breast, licking, biting and sucking to the point where you had trouble remaining standing.
"Tastes way better like this," he mumbled with a mouth full of tit.
You'd never seen him like this. So depraved and insistent on making out with your breasts. The usually put-together Mingyu was gone, instead replaced by what embodied the spirit of a hormonal teenager. His groans of pleasure made your head fall back, acting as if he were the one receiving the pleasure. Multiple times he went back for more cream, teasing your nipples with his fingers as he smeared it on you before continuing to clean it up with his tongue.
"Fuck. Thought about doing this so many times. All the dirty, depraved things I've been wanting to do to you in this kitchen," he sighed once he took a break, puffing out a warm breath against the abused skin.
Your head was fully empty by now. There was nothing but hot air swimming up there. Mingyu had made you a useless version of yourself, uncaring about the poise you were supposed to display in your workplace and only wanting to offer yourself up to him to do whatever he wanted.
His lips trailed their way up, hands replacing where his lips had just been, and reconnected your mouths, humming in pleasure at touching you. His hips began moving with yours, forcing you against the counter while your tongues squelched with one another.
"Wanna fuck you. Do you think your dad'll fire me if I fuck you in here?"
"Don't care," you huffed, hands going to his jeans and haphazardly undoing the belt, "I'll fire you if you don't."
He chuckled mid kiss, "Don't worry, pretty. I'll fuck you. We're going to have to work overtime cleaning up from all the dirty things I'm going to do to you."
Aiding you in the removal of his pants, he lowered them just enough to pull his dick out of his boxers, groaning when you took hold of it and began playing with it. The size had your eyes rolling. You'd always assumed, on lonely nights under your sheets, that Mingyu would be well endowed. He was a perfect 10 in every other area of his life, so of course he'd have a big dick. But knowing that the monster you were currently holding in your hand — not even able to circle your entire hand around it — would be breaking its way inside you made you shudder.
In retaliation to your touches, he did the same to you, forcing your pants down to get easy access to your wetness and groaning when he found a mess under your panties.
"This wet, baby? Just kissed you a little and you're this wet for me? I thought you hated me," he gave you a cocky look as his knuckle pressed onto your clit, adding some pressure as he circled it.
You gasped out your response, calling him a dick and squeezing at his tip to get him to shut up.
He must've either taken the hint or taken it as a challenge, opting to readjust his hand so he could push in two fingers, managing to push you onto the counter whilst finger fucking you. The speed of his fingers was precise, hammering in and out of you and curling at the perfect time, hitting that one specific spot inside you that made your voice go a few notes higher.
You couldn't form any words, barely able to keep working him in your hand either. You were completely lost to the pleasure, especially when his mouth climbed back down and went back to your overly sensitive tits. They were swollen and completely abused with spit, but his attention was still more than welcomed.
"Need you to cum before you take me, okay, pretty?," his request was muffled against your breast.
"Want it now," you whined, hips uselessly grinding into his hand.
"Shh. You'll have it, pretty girl. Just, fuck, need you to cum for me just this once, okay? I'll give it to you, I promise. I'll give it to you and never stop," it was easy for Mingyu to lose himself in his dirty talk, but you adored every word that left his lips. He could threaten you with pleasure all he wanted, you'd take it the same way you'd taken all his snark against you all these years.
When he introduced another finger to the mess between your legs, you finally came. You were sure the sight was as messy as it felt, your body arching impossibly closer to the source of pleasure, head thrown back and internment gasps leaving your lips. Your fingers dug into his muscles, unsure of when you'd clawed his shirt off but thankful for the access to his skin.
You were welcomed back to reality by uncharacteristically soft kisses pressed to your neck, moving their way up to your cheeks and then your lips, ending with a pleased hum.
Your eyes finally opened, taking in the boy in front of you, practically fully nude and with his skin now full of scratch marks (courtesy of you), skin sweaty and hair an after-sex mess.
"Fuck, you're so fucking hot."
He chuckled at your bluntness, eyebrows raising in amusement.
"Yeah, pretty. I think you're pretty hot too. Always thought so. Prettiest girl I've ever seen," he managed to turn it into something soft despite the shared knowledge that his aching cock was currently pressed against your thigh.
"You'll fuck me now, right?", you put your arms on his shoulders, pulling him towards you with seduction in your eyes.
"Y-yeah, I- shit, yeah, baby."
Scooting to the edge of the counter, you wrapped your legs around his waist, forcing him as close as physically possible before reaching down to his hardness. His arms held onto your legs, pulling you towards him and angling your hips so your cunt could face him better.
Deciding to be a tease this time around, you held onto his dick, circling his tip around your clit and sighing at the hot, wet stimulation, earning a similar reaction from him.
"Hmm, fuck. Put it in before I lose my mind."
That was good enough for you.
It took a few moments to get his torturously big length inside you, earning constant cries from you followed by grumbles from Mingyu. He buried his head in your neck, suckling at your skin any time you pulsed a little harder as he intruded inside you.
"Warmest fucking cunt, god," he sighed, "Been wanting to feel you since high school ... Prettiest cunt, oh, fuck. Can I move? Hm? Need to move, baby, tell me I can."
This was the first time you'd ever heard Mingyu beg. And as much as you wanted to bask in it, maybe get him on his knees, pleading to get his fill of you, you were far too gone to do anything more than whine at him to move, to break you and render you useless.
Your mouth dropped open when he began hammering at you, hands wrapped around your thighs and pulling you as close as possibly. His inhuman strength managed to move your body in sync with his thrusts, doing all the work himself as you became a limp doll for him to use. All you provided were cries of his names and red lines drawn down his back. But he seemed to enjoy it. Each scratch, each squeal of his name was met with groans and with an extra harsh thrust into you.
"G-gyu, fuck, just like that. Oh, fuck, please," you had no idea what you were pleading for, but you needed more.
You'd never felt this needy. Never felt such a carnal necessity for a man like you did for Mingyu. It felt like a full circle moment. Your disdain for Mingyu had left you weeks ago, replaced by a sheer thirst for him, but not only sexually. Even as he humped into you, you felt an sense of completeness from being in his hold.
And then, before you knew it, your second orgasm consumed you, causing you to tighten around him and earning an uncharacteristically high cry from him. His hips sped up, desperate to reach his own high, hands practically pulling you off the counter to push your hips against his own. The repetitive slapping of skin was loud and resonated into the empty room.
"Gonna fill you up, baby. Gonna get you all pretty and creamy for me," he huffed out between breaths, "Wanna see me dripping down your legs before I clean it all up for you."
And he fulfilled his promise, squirting his cum deep inside you with a groan of your name. Once finished, he finally deflated against you, loud as he attempted to regain his breath back.
There was some silence for a while. Maybe because you both needed time to learn how to breathe again, or maybe because you were both still in shock at the intensity of what'd just happened. Regardless, you held onto each other, uncaring that you were still very much naked in what was supposed to be a public place, creating a safety hazard in your workplace.
"Well, that was ..."
"Yeah," you agreed.
He pulled his head away from your neck, offering you a bashful smile. His hands stayed on you, though, caressing at your skin with a contrasting softness.
"Does this mean you'll go on a date with me, or am I fired for jumping you in the kitchen?"
You laughed, genuinely so. This was probably one of the very rare times in which you did so in front of Mingyu, but you meant it. No longer did you feel like scowling at his presence.
You realized now that his feelings had been mutual. Too many half-baked inferences to his feelings were had in the throes of passion for you to question it anymore.
And maybe the feeling was mutual.
"Yes, Mingyu. I'll let you take me on a date."
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to read short 2k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my svt monthly tier on patreon!
content: smut, afab reader, mentions of previous semi-public sex, nipple play (m receiving), dry humping, penetrative sex, mentions of blowjob, food play (frosting), etc.
wc: 426 (teaser); 2007 (full drabble)
sneak peak:
"I'm very proud of the work the two of you did last week," your dad began, "The workload was too big for two people, but you two managed to get it done. Great job."
When your dad had called you and Mingyu over for a private meeting after last week's events, you had to admit, you were terrified.
After that first day alone playing around in the kitchen and wasting perfectly useful frosting in activities you could never reveal to your father, you ended up having to work the entire rest of the week alone with Mingyu. And it was safe to say that the events of that first day repeated time and time again. The two of you made use of the empty space, disregarding any possible health violations.
Fortunately, your fears of your father possibly finding you out were alleviated by his sudden praise.
You had to agree. It was surprising that you and Mingyu had been able to get all that work done. Not only due to the impossible amount of work, but also because of the constant distractions you provided for the other.
Standing next to you, you could feel Mingyu's enormous sigh of relief at your father's words. Before making your way into his office, the poor boy's tanned skin had gone pale at the paranoia of what was to come.
"Maybe when this one takes over for me, you could he her second in command," he turned to Mingyu with a smile, "The two of you make a great team. And for your hard work, I'd like to give you the day off. Full pay, and you can also take one of the leftovers cakes from last night."
Before you could respond with wonder, your dad spoke up again.
"Here. Take my car keys. You kids go have fun," he patted your back as he walked away, leaving the two of you in his office as he went back to the bustling kitchen.
The two of you stood there, not having expected such sudden reward. It had only been one day since everyone came back to work, joining you and Mingyu with the heavy workload that always accompanied winter, yet you were suddenly being offered time off and free pastries.
"I think your dad wants us to have se-"
"Don't finish that sentence," you slapped at his chest, earning a wince.
"I mean. A car, money, cake? Do you remember what we did last time we had cake at our disposition? I ate it off of your-"
"Mingyu!"
"Okay, fine!"
...
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grimmweepers · 4 months ago
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𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: OCT 17TH
— ♤ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: zhongli x fem!reader | 𝐜𝐰: established relationship but reader finds out his true identity! morax!form, draconic!form mention, human!reader, sex with a god, hair pulling, creampie, nipple play, rough sex, reader wears a nightgown, he calls you 'small in his hands', reader is implied to serve rex lapis, maybe ooc, 2.8k wc 18+ only, MDNI.
𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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This was completely different from the first time you shared beds with him.
Back then, Zhongli had been soft and gentle, undressing you with such tender care until nothing remained but bare skin and bones. You remembered his warm amber eyes, his featherlight touches, and how he gave so much of himself to you that it left you dizzy and breathless. 
But this was something else entirely. 
It wasn’t that long ago when, to you, he was just a consultant at the Funeral Parlour—a Liyue nobleman who was well-versed in Teyvat’s history. He had been courting you since the last Lantern Rite (perhaps longer if you had paid attention) and you were more than content with the consultant, admiring him just as he was.
Then, after retiring his gnosis—and you still struggled to fully grasp what that meant—he finally confessed.
Overnight, he went from a funeral consultant to Rex Lapis and no matter how many times he explained that he was technically no longer an Archon, it didn’t change the fact that he was still an immortal who had witnessed Liyue from infancy.
And you slept with him!
The memory sent a shiver down your spine, though you couldn’t deny the thrill of realising how the Lord of Rock had practically begged for you to get on top that night. That same feeling returned now as you prepared to sleep with him again. 
You basically asked for it, though. 
When he revealed his identity to you, you had some questions. The first was if he had a real form, to which he replied: I have many.
Then the second question—or rather, request—was to see one of these forms. He was happy to oblige, but you hadn’t expected him to be so… forward.
I’m not being forward, he defended himself, My skin is part of my form. It just so happens that I have to adjust my attire for you to see it properly. 
But he knew exactly what he was doing.
“Zhongli—” His name now felt strange on your lips as you stared, spellbound by his new appearance. You were so captivated that anything could have rolled off your tongue and you wouldn’t have noticed… or cared.
He truly embodied every depiction of Rex Lapis you’ve ever seen.
“Is something the matter?” He asked as if his arms weren’t adorned in glowing geo patterns, as if his physique wasn’t carefully carved by millennia as a leader. He stood over you while you sat on the edge of your bed and you gulped at the vitality in his features. 
He looked larger—more youthful, even.
“What do I—” You hesitated, wondering if your question was foolish. “What do I call you?” 
He cupped your jaw the way he always did, though now with bare hands darkened by power that you could barely comprehend. “You can choose whichever name you like,” he replied. “It doesn’t change who I am to you.” 
Your mouth went dry. It was frightening how much more irresistible he seemed like this.
“Morax,” you whispered, mostly to yourself.
His brows lifted slightly, but he stayed silent.
“Morax,” you repeated, louder this time. You knew calling him ‘Rex Lapis’ would have been more respectful, more appropriate, but after seeing him in this divine form, with barely a towel wrapped around his waist, you knew that respect had already been thrown out the window. You would ask to be forgiven but what difference would it make if the god you pleaded to stood right before you in compromised garment?
“Interesting choice,” he chuckled as he pressed his thumb to your lips, “Now, lie still and let me enjoy what belongs to me.”
Those words sank in like branding on your skin—what belongs to me.
He was slow with you at first, hovering over you as you lay back. The silk of your nightgown clung to every curve of your body which left little to the imagination and Zhongli was so engrossed with his view, that the lust in his eyes made something inside you stir. You had to look away, your arms instinctively moving to shield your flushed expression.
After all, it wasn’t every day that you found yourself at the mercy of a man so many prayed to.
Gently, he pulled your arm away, “Why do you turn from me, my love?” He tilted his head, studying you like prey, but the tenderness in his voice reminded you that the ghost of your sweet Zhongli was still there, lingering beneath this form. 
“Are you regretting your curiosity?”
“I guess… seeing you this way makes me a little… shy,” you said, though you didn’t believe your own answer.
Before you could say more, his mouth was on yours, fierce and reassuring. It took the air right out of your lungs. You barely had time to recover before he started trailing softer kisses along your jaw, then down your neck, leaving a path of warmth in their wake. 
“Shy?” he repeated against your skin, “After all we’ve done, you’re still shy?” He slid his hand up your sides, tangling his fingers between the fine silk. “You may be skilled at keeping secrets but not from me. Tell me the truth, my sweet.” 
You opened your mouth to respond but you couldn’t stop your back from arching at his touch, which was very much an invitation for him to tear off the delicate fabric from your body. When he did, it left your chest exposed to his hungry gaze, earning him a small gasp and a deep ache pooling between your legs. 
“You’re so small in my hands,” he mused, fingers tightening around your throat for a brief moment. "And yet… you offer yourself so willingly."
You had offered yourself to a god.
You had offered yourself to a god.
“Do you understand what you’re doing?”
A shudder tore through you as he took both breasts into his hands and sunk his teeth between them, leaving you little marks made from canines you had never seen before. When you suddenly felt his hard bulge pressing against your core, you realised the towel around his waist had already been discarded. How could you even respond to him?
“This excites you, doesn’t it?” He murmured into the crook of your neck, grinding against you. He didn’t give you a chance to speak when he pried your legs open with one knee. “Have I ever told you how intoxicating you smell when you’re like this?” 
Harder than before, he bit into your neck and you found your fingers tugging on his hair.
“You can… smell me—?”
“I can sense you,” he corrected, “And I know exactly what you want from me." You could certainly tell he was pleased with himself yet instead of pushing you away, it only drew you in further.
With a single motion, you hooked your finger around the pin holding his ponytail in place, and pulled—freeing his hair so it cascaded down over his toned muscles.
He looked perfect. Divine. It was your way of confirming what he already knew—that you wanted this, wanted him.
Zhongli’s eyes glowed in the dim light and there was no mistaking the godly aura of Morax residing in him. The air seemed heavier under the weight of his presence. You were suffocating.
A deep growl elicited from his chest as he pushed the tip of his cock against your underwear, teasing your entrance. You whimpered at the way he bullied you, desperately pulling him in for another feverish kiss to satisfy at least one need.
This one was hungrier, messier. His groan vibrated through your mouth as his carbon-black hand slid back to your throat, squeezing just enough to make you gasp for air. 
Each twist and flick of his tongue felt like a silent demand: Give in. Yield.
In this state, a picture cleared. Zhongli's hands were everywhere—tangled in your hair, between the valley of your breasts, dipping into the areas you ached the most. This side of him was primal, gluttonous, and possessive. Every touch felt forbidden—blasphemous, even. And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to say you weren’t enjoying every sinful second of it.
Finally, Zhongli parted from the kiss, his breath heavy as his eyes stayed locked with yours. For once, he allowed himself to make you completely at his will. 
The head of his cock pressed harder against your entrance, the flimsy barrier of your silk underwear doing little to dull the intensity of his lust. He was desperate to feel the warmth inside you. You were already soaked, and he knew it—he could feel it, smell it, and it drove him wild.
“My dear,” he said, sound impatient now, “you know I admire you, right?”
“I do,” you replied too quickly.
“Good. Because I don’t want you to be mistaken.”
“What do you mea—”
Before you could finish, he pulled your underwear to the side and let his cock glide against your folds. Your hips moved with him, coating his shaft with your wetness, and that was enough for him to forget about taking it slow. Groaning, he shoved his blunt tip inside you and it left your thighs trembling. Your body felt like it was on fire, jerking back as his length stretched you out, your fingers gripping the sheets tightly, “Oh my—” you gasped.
Had it been that long since you last did this, or was this form accompanied by godly… benefits?
With his head thrown back in sheer pleasure, he let out a throaty grunt, almost salivating at the way your walls pulsed around him—like your body had been made just for him. Somehow, sex felt even better in this form and it had him feral enough to hold the sides of your hips, fingers digging into your flesh to anchor himself between your legs. “That’s it,” he growled, “Take every inch.” 
He started thrusting—hard—the sound of skin meeting skin echoed off the walls. Your breasts bounced in rhythm, and he was so entranced by the sight he could cum on the spot. Every second, he was ripping moan after moan out of you as he fucked you into the mattress. 
“Morax,” you called out, your voice shaking while he pumped in and out of you relentlessly, “So… good. I want more…” You ran your hands across his chest, feeling the quickening of his breath. His face shifted into a predatory look and you realised that he was losing himself as much as you.
“Then come here,” he groaned through gritted teeth, spoken exactly like someone who had never been defiled.
He didn’t wait for you to respond. Instead, he flipped you to your stomach, left your ass in the air and your legs hanging off the bed—your toes barely even touching the floor.
You braced yourself for his unyielding pace, but he surprised you with a tender kiss on your shoulder, “Tell me if it’s too much.”
The unexpected affection made your heart swell so you wiggled against his crotch, inviting him for more. He chuckled, almost pityingly, knowing full well what he was about to do next.
You couldn’t even catch your breath before he pushed back inside you, hissing as he indulged in your warmth. You swore you were well-behaved but somehow this felt like a punishment. He, who was so deceptively gentle a moment ago, found your hair and tugged it into his fist, drawing a sharp yelp from your lips.
Once he started moving at the same unforgivable pace, each thrust forced his name out of your mouth. “M-Morax— Mor–ax,” you were barely coherent and it riled him up the more you said it. It surely wasn’t the first time hearing someone call him that but in this context, he wasn’t going to make it his last—especially if it was you.
"Is this what you wanted?" he growled, his voice resonant, like the rumbling of the earth itself. 
“Y-Yes…”
Although, you weren’t sure what you expected when you asked to see his form but you knew what you were receiving now was the primal strength of something foreign to you.
His heavy cock stretched you so deliciously, filling you so completely that every nerve in your body screamed with pleasure. You clawed at the sheets as you creamed rings around his base and the wooden bedframe groaned with each erratic thrust.
His movements were undeniably getting sloppier and his breaths came in short, guttural huffs. “Feel- how- deep I am inside- you?” he rasped, punctuating each word with a sharp snap of his hips. “You’re taking it so well.” You couldn’t see it but you heard a grin dancing behind his voice as he pushed deeper.
Your feet were lifting off the ground with each thrust, leaving your ass stinging from the relentless pounding. When you felt his free hand snake around to cup your breast, fingers squeezing your sensitive nipple, you practically melted. “Thank you… Ple—,” you whined, the only words you could really manage.
But that was enough for him.
Zhongli’s grip on your hair tightened as he pulled, forcing your head back while his other hand dug into the soft flesh of your breast. The pain mixed with pleasure sent your vision into a blur of white. It shouldn’t feel this good but you could feel your orgasm coming despite being nothing but a ragdoll in his powerful hands. 
His body trembled as he chased his release, each thrust growing more urgent as he drove into your G-spot. Every stroke sent waves of pleasure through your body until finally, your climax hit like a tidal wave. Letting go of your hair, you collapsed against the mattress. It was too much so it left you biting into the sheets, a cry ripping from your throat as your pussy clenched around him, milking his cock with each spasm. “I-I’m—ahhh—cumming!”
“Just like that,” he groaned while your body tightened, savouring the way your body responded to every thrust. He was unable to think about anything else aside from the feeling of your muscle clenching and pulsating, “So tight—keep going. You’re perfect like this.”
With one final snap of his hips, you felt him pulse between your walls, his balls tightening as he emptied deep inside you. Thick ropes of hot milky cum filled you, his cock twitching as he buried himself to the hilt. Your name rolled off his lips in a low, drawn-out grunt that was raw and animalistic, a sound that made you delirious enough to go another round just to hear it again. 
Even after he finished, he stayed pressed against you, fucking his cum back into you with lazy, satisfied strokes, filling you over and over until there was nothing left to give. 
“I’m… full,” you whispered shakily, still feeling every inch of him inside you.
“Are you alright, my dear?”
Yes and no. If getting tossed around meant you were fine, then sure.
"I'm okay," you breathed.
"Good girl."
When he finally pulled out, you went completely limp, rolling onto your back while a thin layer of sweat left your skin glowing.
You could feel Zhongli doing the same, his body mirroring yours as you both lay there, chests heaving, struggling to catch your breaths. After a moment, you turned to face him, both of you blinking at each other under the light.
“This… wasn’t what I meant when I said show me one of your forms,” you managed to say. 
“Are you complaining?” 
You let out a soft sigh as you stared up at the ceiling. Even after all this, he hadn’t lost his sarcastic sense of humor. “No,” you admitted, feeling warmth creep into your cheeks. “It’s just that… well, I think I might’ve enjoyed you—the real you—a little more than I expected. A little more than what’s appropriate, perhaps.”
You couldn’t help but dance around the memory of all the offerings you’d given Rex Lapis throughout your life. Was this his gift in return?
“Oh? Pray tell, what is it that you enjoyed so much?”
You hesitated but the way he looked at you made it impossible not to answer. 
 “I liked… the way you moved…" you felt slightly embarrassed to continue but he nodded for you to go on, "You were rougher on me, but it made me want more…”
While you spoke, you noticed subtle changes in him. His pupils began narrowing into thin slits, and his golden irises seemed to glow with an ethereal light. The sharpness of his fangs became more pronounced, peeking between his lips. His fingers, which had been tracing circles on your arm, now felt a little sharper, almost claw-like.
“And… your strength,” you gulped as you watched his transformation. “It was… overwhelming. I couldn’t resist it but I didn't want to. I felt safe.”
A low, rumbling growl emanated from his chest, his hand sliding possessively to your waist. It made your stomach flip.
“If that’s the case,” his voice was deeper now, almost a purr as his newly revealed tail coiled around your thigh. He leaned closer, his breath hot against the shell of your ear. 
“Why are you trembling?”
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© 2024 grimmweepers — do not repost, copy, translate, modify my work on any platform
dividers: @/astrumaur
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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 months ago
Text
Predicting the present
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/09/radicalized/#deny-defend-depose
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Back in 2018, around the time I emailed my immigration lawyer about applying for US citizenship, I started work on a short story called "Radicalized," which eventually became the title story of a collection that came out in 2019:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250228598/radicalized/
"Radicalized" is a story about America, and about guns, and about health care, and about violence. I live in Burbank, which is ranks second in gun-stores-per-capita in the USA, a dubious honor that represents a kind of regulatory arbitrage with our neighboring goliath, the City of Los Angeles, where gun store licensing is extremely tight. If you're an Angeleno in search of a firearm, you're almost certainly coming to Burbank to buy it.
Walking, cycling and driving past more gun stores than I'd ever seen in my Canadian life got me thinking about Americans and guns, a subject that many Canadians have passed comment upon. Americans kill each other, and especially themselves, at rates that baffle everyone else in the world, and they do it with guns. When we moved here, my UK born-and-raised daughter came home from her first elementary school lockdown drill perplexed and worried. Knowing what I did about US gun violence, I understood that while school shootings and other spree killings happened with dismal and terrifying regularity, they only accounted for a small percentage of the gun deaths here. If you die with a bullet in you, the chances are that the finger on the trigger was your own. The next most likely suspect is someone you know. After that, a cop. Getting shot by a stranger out of uniform is something of a rarity here – albeit a spectacular one that captures our imaginations in ways that deliberate or accidental self-slayings and related-party shootings do not.
So I told her, "Look, you can basically ignore everything they tell you during those lockdown drills, because they almost certainly have nothing to do with your future. But if a friend ever says to you, 'Hey, wanna see my dad's gun?' I want you to turn around and leave and get in touch with me right away, that instant."
Guns turn the murderous impulse – which, let's be honest, we've all felt at some time or another – into a murderous act. Same goes for suicide, which explains the high levels of non-accidental self-shootings in the USA: when you've got a gun, the distance between suicidal ideation and your death is the ten feet from the sofa to the gun in the closet.
Americans get angry at people and then, if they have a gun to hand, sometimes they shoot them. In a thread /r/Burbank about how people at our local cinemas are rude and use their phones in which someone posted, "Well, you should just ask them to stop." The reply: "That's a great way to get shot." No one chimed in to say, "Don't be ridiculous, no one would shoot you for asking them to put away their phone during a movie." Same goes for "road rage."
And while Americans shoot people they've only just gotten angry at, they also sometimes plan shooting sprees and kill a bunch of people because they're just generically angry. Being angry about the state of the world is a completely relatable emotion, of course, but the targets of these shootings are arbitrary. Sure sometimes these killings have clear, bigoted targets – mass shootings at Black supermarkets or mosques or synagogues or gay bars – more often the people who get sprayed with bullets (at country and western concerts or elementary schools or movie theaters) are almost certainly not the people the gunman (almost always a man) is angry at.
This line of thought kept surfacing as I went through the immigration process, but not just when I was dealing with immigration paperwork. I was also spending an incredible amount of time dealing with our health insurer, Cigna, who kept refusing treatments my pain doctor – one of the most-cited pain researchers in the country – thought I would benefit from. I've had chronic pain since I was a teenager, and it's only ever gotten worse. I've had decades of pain care in Canada and the UK, and while the treatments never worked for very long, it was never compounded by the kinds of bureaucratic stuff I went through with my US insurer.
The multi-hour phone calls with Cigna that went nowhere would often have me seeing red – literally, a red tinge closing in around my vision – and usually my hands would be shaking by the time I got off the call.
And I had it easy! I wasn't terminally ill, and I certainly wasn't calling in on behalf of a child or a spouse or parent who was seriously ill or dying, whose care was being denied by their insurer. Bernie's 2016 Medicare For All campaign promise had filled the air with statistics (Americans pay more for care and get worse outcomes than anyone else in the rich world), and stories. So many stories – stories that just tore your heart out, about parents who literally had to watch their children die because the insurance they paid for refused to treat their kids. As a dad, I literally couldn't imagine how I'd cope in that situation. Just thinking about it filled me with rage.
One day, as I was swimming in the community pool across the street – a critical part of my pain management strategy – I was struck with a thought: "Why don't these people murder health insurance executives?" Not that I wanted them to. I don't want anyone to kill anyone. But why do American men who murder their wives and the people who cut them off in traffic and random classrooms full of children leave the health insurance industry alone? This is an industry that is practically designed to fill the people who interact with it with uncontrollable rage. I mean, if you're watching your wife or your kid die before your eyes because some millionaire CEO decided to aim for a $10 billion stock buyback this year instead of his customary $9 billion target, wouldn't you feel that kind of murderous rage?
Around this time, my parents came out for a visit from Canada. It was a great trip, until one night, my mom woke me up after midnight: "We have to take your father to the ER. He's really sick." He was: shaking, nauseated, feverish. We raced down the street to the local hospital, part of a gigantic chain that has swallowed nearly all the doctors' practices, labs and hospitals within an hour's drive of here.
Dad had kidney stones, and they'd gone septic. When the ER docs removed the stones, all the septic gunk in his kidneys was flushed into his bloodstream, and he crashed. If he hadn't been in an ER recovery room at the time, he would have died. As it was, he was in a coma for three days and it was touch and go. My brother flew down from Toronto, not sure if this was his last chance to see our dad alive. The nurses and doctors took great care of my dad, though, and three days later, he emerged from his coma, and today, he's better than ever.
But on day two, when we thought he was probably at the end of his life, as my mother sat at his side, holding the hand of her husband of fifty years, someone from the hospital billing department came to her side and said, "Mrs Doctorow, I know this is a difficult time, but I'd like to discuss the matter of your husband's bill with you."
The bill was $176,000. Thankfully, the travel medical insurance plan offered by the Ontario Teachers' Union pension covered it all (I don't suppose anyone gets very angry with them).
How do people tolerate this? Again, not in the sense of "people should commit violent acts in the face of these provocations," but rather, "How is it that in a country filled with both assault rifles and unimaginable acts of murderous cruelty committed by fantastically wealthy corporations, people don't leap from their murderous impulses to their murderous weapons to commit murderous acts?
For me, writing fiction is an accretive process. I can tell that a story is brewing when thoughts start rattling around in my mind, resurfacing at odd times. I think of them as stray atoms, seeking molecules with available docking sites to glom onto. I process all my emotions – but especially my negative ones – through this process, by writing stories and novels. I could tell that something was cooking, but it was missing an ingredient.
Then I found it: an interview with the woman who coined the term "incel." It was on the Reply All podcast, and Alana, a queer Canadian woman explained that she had struggled all her life to find romantic and sexual partnership, and jokingly started referring to herself as "involuntarily celibate," and then, as an "incel":
https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all/76h59o
Alana started a message board where other "incels" could offer each other support, and it was remarkably successful. The incels on Alana's message board helped each other work through the problems that stood between them and love, and when they did, they drifted away from the board to pursue a happier life.
That was the problem, Alana explained. If you're in a support group for people with a drinking problem, the group elders, the ones who've been around forever, are the people who've figured it out and gotten sober. When life seems impossible, those elders step in to tell you, I know it's terrible right now, but it'll get better. I was where you are and I got through it. You will, too. I'm here for you. We all are.
But on Alana's incel board, the old timers were the people who couldn't figure it out. They were the ones for whom mutual support and advice didn't help them figure out what they needed to do in order to find the love they sought. The longer the message board ran, the more it became dominated by people who were convinced that it was hopeless, that love was impossible for the likes of them. When newbies posted in rage and despair, these Great Old Ones were there to feed it: You're right. It will never get better. It only gets worse. There is no hope.
That was the missing piece. My short story Radicalized was born. It's a story about men on a message board called Fuck Cancer Right In the Fucking Face (FCKRFF, or "Fuckriff"), who are watching the people they love the most in the world be murdered by their insurance companies, who egg each other on to spectacular acts of mass violence against health insurance company employees, hospital billing offices, and other targets of their rage. As of today, anyone can read this story for free, courtesy of my publishers at Macmillan, who gave permission for the good folks at The American Prospect to post it:
https://prospect.org/culture/books/2024-12-09-radicalized-cory-doctorow-story-health-care/
I often hear from people about this story, even before an unknown (at the time of writing) man assassinated Brian Thompson, CEO of Unitedhealthcare, the murderous health insurance monopoly that is the largest medical insurer in the USA. Since then, hundreds of people have gotten in touch with me to ask me how I feel about this turn of events, how it feels to have "predicted" this.
I've been thinking about it for a few days now, and I gotta tell you, I have complicated feelings.
You've doubtless seen the outpourings of sarcastic graveyard humor about Thompson's murder. People hate Unitedhealthcare, for good reason, because he personally decided – or approved – countless policies that killed people by cheating them until they died.
Nurses and doctors hate Thompson and United. United kills people, for money. During the most acute phase of the pandemic, the company charged the US government $11,000 for each $8 covid test:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/06/137300-pct-markup/#137300-pct-markup
UHC leads the nation in claims denials, with a denial rate of 32% (!!). If you want to understand how the US can spend 20% of its GDP and get the worst health outcomes in the world, just connect the dots between those two facts: the largest health insurer in human history charges the government a 183,300% markup on covid tests and also denies a third of its claims.
UHC is a vertically integrated, murdering health profiteer. They bought Optum, the largest pharmacy benefit manager ("A spreadsheet with political power" -Matt Stoller) in the country. Then they starved Optum of IT investment in order to give more money to their shareholders. Then Optum was hacked by ransomware gang and no one could get their prescriptions for weeks. This killed people:
https://www.economicliberties.us/press-release/malicious-threat-actor-accesses-unitedhealth-groups-monopolistic-data-exchange-harming-patients-and-pharmacists/#
The irony is, Optum is terrible even when it's not hacked. The purpose of Optum is to make you pay more for pharmaceuticals. If that's more than you can afford, you die. Optum – that is, UHC – kills people:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/23/shield-of-boringness/#some-men-rob-you-with-a-fountain-pen
Optum isn't the only murderous UHC division. Take Navihealth, an algorithm that United uses to kick people out of their hospital beds even if they're so frail, sick or injured they can't stand or walk. Doctors and nurses routinely watch their gravely ill patients get thrown out of their hospitals. Many die. UHC kills them, for money:
https://prospect.org/health/2024-08-16-steward-bankruptcy-physicians-private-equity/
The patients murdered by Navihealth are on Medicare Advantage. Medicare is the public health care system the USA extends to old people. Medicare Advantage is a privatized system you can swap your Medicare coverage for, and UHC leads the country in Medicare Advantage, blitzing seniors with deceptive ads that trick them into signing up for UHC Medicare Advantage. Seniors who do this lose access to their doctors and specialists, have to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for their medication, and get hit with $400 surprise bills to use the "free" ambulance service:
https://prospect.org/health/2024-12-05-manhattan-medicare-murder-mystery/
No wonder the public spends 22% more subsidizing Medicare Advantage than they spend on the care for seniors who stick with actual Medicare:
https://theconversation.com/taxpayers-spend-22-more-per-patient-to-support-medicare-advantage-the-private-alternative-to-medicare-that-promised-to-cost-less-241997
It's not just the elderly, it's also the addicted and mentally ill. UHC illegally denies coverage for mental health and substance abuse treatment. Imagine watching a family member spiral out of control, ODing, or ending up on the streets with hallucinations, and knowing that the health insurance company that takes thousands of dollars out of your paycheck refused to treat them:
https://www.startribune.com/unitedhealthcare-will-pay-15-7m-in-settlement-of-denial-of-care-charges/600087607
Unsurprising, the internal culture at UHC is callous beyond belief. How could it not be? How could you go to work at UHC and know you were killing people and not dehumanize those victims? A lawsuit by chronically ill patient whom UHC had denied care for surfaced recorded phone calls in which UHC employees laughed long and hard about the denied claims, dismissing the patient's desperate, tearful pleas as "tantrums" :
https://www.propublica.org/article/unitedhealth-healthcare-insurance-denial-ulcerative-colitis
Those UHC workers are just trying to get by, of course, and the callouses they develop so they can bear to go to work were ripped off by last week's murder. UHC's executive team knows this, and has gone on a rampage to stop employees from leaking their own horror stories, or even mentioning that the internal company announcement of Thompson's death was seen by 16,000 employees, of whom only 28 left a comment:
https://www.kenklippenstein.com/p/unitedhealthcare-tells-employees
Doctors and nurses hate UHC on behalf of their patients, but it's also personal. UHC screws doctor's practices by refusing to pay them, making them chase payments for months or even years, and then it offers them a payday lending service that helps them keep the lights on while they wait to get paid:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frr4wuvAB6U
Is it any surprise that Reddit's nursing forums are full of nurses making grim, satisfied jokes about the assassination of the $10m/year CEO who ran the $400b/year corporation that does all this?
https://www.thedailybeast.com/leading-medical-subreddit-deletes-thread-on-unitedhealthcare-ceos-murder-after-users-slam-his-record/
We're not supposed to experience – much less express – schadenfreude when someone is murdered in the street, no matter who they are. We're meant to express horror at the idea of political violence, even when that violence only claims a single life, a fraction of the body count UCH produced under Thompson's direction. As Malcolm Harris put it, "'Every life is precious' stuff about a healthcare CEO whose company is noted for denying coverage is pretty silly":
https://twitter.com/BigMeanInternet/status/1864471932386623753
As Woody Guthrie wrote, "Some will rob you with a six-gun/And some with a fountain pen." The weapon is lethal when it's a pistol and when it's an insurance company. The insurance company merely serves as an accountability sink, a layer of indirection that lets a murder happen without any person being the technical murderer:
https://profilebooks.com/work/the-unaccountability-machine/
I don't want people to kill insurance executives, and I don't want insurance executives to kill people. But I am unsurprised that this happened. Indeed, I'm surprised that it took so long. It should not be controversial to note that if you run an institution that makes people furious, they will eventually become furious with you. This is the entire pitch of Thomas Piketty's Capital in the 21st Century: that wealth concentration leads to corruption, which is destabilizing, and in the long run it's cheaper to run a fair society than it is to pay for the guards you'll need to keep the guillotines off your lawn:
https://memex.craphound.com/2014/06/24/thomas-pikettys-capital-in-the-21st-century/
But we've spent the past 40 years running in the other direction, maximizing monopolies, inequality and corruption, and gaslighting the public when they insist that this is monstrous and unfair. Back in 2022, when UHC was buying Change Healthcare – the dominant payment network for hospitals, which would allow UHC to surveil all its competitors' payments – the DOJ sued to block the merger. The Trump-appointed judge in the case, Carl Nichols – who owned tens of thousands of dollars in UHC bonds – ruled against the DOJ, saying that it would all be fine thanks to United's "culture of trust and integrity":
https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/the-antitrust-shooting-war-has-started
We don't know much about Thompson's killer yet, but he's already becoming a folk hero, with lookalike contests in NYC:
https://twitter.com/CollinRugg/status/1865472577478553976
And gigantic graffiti murals praising him and reproducing the words he wrote on the shell casings of the bullets he used to kill Thompson, "delay, deny, depose":
https://www.tumblr.com/radicalgraff/769193188403675136/killin-fuckin-ceos-freight-graff-in-the-bay
I get why this is distasteful. Thompson is said to have been a "family man" who loved his kids, and I have no reason to disbelieve this. I can only imagine that his wife and kids are shattered by this. Every living person is the apex of a massive project involving dozens, hundreds of people who personally worked to raise, nurture and love them. I wrote about this in my novel Walkaway, as the characters consider whether to execute a mercenary sent to kill them, whom they have taken hostage:
She had parents. People who loved her. Every human was a hyper-dense node of intense emotional and material investment. Speaking meant someone had spent thousands of hours cooing to you. Those lean muscles, the ringing tone of command — their inputs were from all over the world, carefully administered. The merc was more than a person: like a spaceship launch, her existence implied thousands of skilled people, generations of experts, wars, treaties, scholarship and supply-chain management. Every one of them was all that.
But so often, the formula for "folk hero" is "killing + time." The person who terrorizes the people who terrorize you is your hero, and eventually we sanitize the deaths, and just remember them as fighters for justice. If you doubt it, consider the legend of Robin Hood:
https://twitter.com/mcmansionhell/status/1865554985842352501
The health industry is trying to put a lid on this, palpably afraid that – as in my story "Radicalized" – this one murderer will become a folk hero who inspires others to acts of spectacular violence. They're insisting that it's unseemly to gloat about Thompson's death. They're right, but this is an obvious loser strategy. The health industry is full of people whose deaths would be deplorable, but not unsurprising. As Clarence Darrow had it:
I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.
Murder is never the answer. Murder is not a healthy response to corruption. But it is healthy for people to fear that if they kill people for greed, they will be unsafe. On December 5 – the day after Thompson's killing – the health insurer Anthem announced that it would not pay for anesthesia for medical procedures that ran long. The next day, they retracted the policy, citing "outrage":
https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/05/health/anthem-blue-cross-blue-shield-anesthesia-claim-limits/index.html
Sure, maybe it was their fear of reputation damage that got them to decide to reverse this inhumane, disgusting, murderous policy. But maybe it was also someone in the C-suite thinking about what share of the profits from this policy would have to be spent on additional bodyguards for every Anthem exec if it went into effect, and decided that it was a money-loser after all.
Think about hospital exec Ralph de la Torre, who cheerfully testified to Congress that he'd killed patients in pursuit of profit. De la Torre clearly doesn't fear any kind of consequences for his actions. He owns hospitals that are filled with tens of thousands of bats (he stiffed the exterminators), where none of the elevators work (he stiffed the repair techs), where there's no medicine or blood (he stiffed the suppliers) and where the doctors and nurses can't make rent (he stiffed them too). De La Torre doesn't just own hospitals – he also owns a pair of superyachts:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/28/5000-bats/#charnel-house
It is a miracle that so many people have lost their mothers, sons, wives and husbands so Ralph de la Torre could buy himself another superyacht, and that those people live in a country where you can buy an assault rifle, and that Ralph de la Torre isn't forced to live in a bunker and travel in a tank.
It's a rather beautiful sort of miracle, to be honest. I like to think that it comes from a widespread belief by the people of this country I have since become a citizen of, that we should solve our problems politically, rather than with bullets.
But the assassination of Brian Thompson is a wake-up call, a warning that if we don't solve this problem politically, we may not have a choice about whether it's solved with violence. As a character in "Radicalized" says, "They say violence never solves anything, but to quote The Onion: that's only true so long as you ignore all of human history":
https://prospect.org/culture/books/2024-12-09-radicalized-cory-doctorow-story-health-care/
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wonryllis · 3 months ago
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INTERRUPTING THEM WITH A KISS ✶ 𝒽𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗇 & 𝒷𝖺𝖼𝗄
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﹙ ⌕ ﹚ 𝓅𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝗌 ㅤ𝑜𝑓. enhypen melting into you like it's a habit. contains fem!r, fluff, lots of kissing, pg 15. wc 1657, approximately 0.24k each. check out the d𝒾rectory? stat requested.
──────𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑦, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗀𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝖺 𝗇𝖾𝗐 𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇.
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𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚
lee heeseung swears he's never found anyone or as a matter of fact, anything as annoying as you. you're like a roach up his ass, the bane of his existence. yet when he looks at your cherry stained lips as you crash into him outside the club— he can't deny: that the idea of them against his own doesn't seem half as bad. probably the alcohol, heeseung convinces himself.
"if you don't get off and at least a hundred feet away from me right now, i swea—" and your lips crash into his. intentionally, to get under his skin? accidentally, because of the shots? who cares! heeseung can literally feel the breath leave his lungs as you move your lips against his.
but you pull away before he can do anything,"shut up jer—" and it irks him for some god forbid reason, alcohol again? oh fuck the alcohol! imma kiss that attitude outta her. not even a fraction of second passes before heeseung is grabbing your jaw and pulling you back into a kiss.
you want to breathe? forget it. lee heeseung is not having it anymore. a chance to put you in your place, he's not letting it slip through his fingers. he does not want to.
"you shut up." the tendencies of an enemy with his deepest desires unknown to him; kissable lips on an enemy is the most sinful and irresistible thing ever. probably why you annoyed him.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚
jay's thighs feel warm against your own as you sit still on his lap, his legs shaking subtly while he rambles about some clothes. the tiny smear of vanilla ice cream near the corner of his lower lip, bothering you more and more with the seconds ticking by.
"and then i had to get the pants exchang—" you don't even realize it yourself when you lean in to capture his lips and lick at the sweetness. his own words dying down as he stares down at your face, completely dumbstruck. come on, that's your girlfriend idiot! kiss back! it's probably the twelfth time you both have kissed since you got together three months ago; it's not like he's keeping track of the kisses but... yeah you make him too nervous so, he is.
"b-baby..?" your hands cup his cheeks and he shuts down again. ears burning hot, and lips parted to let you do what you want. if there's one thing jay can't help, it's letting you have your way. whenever, wherever.
it takes him approximately ten seconds to overcome that nervousness and respond to the kiss. mouth closing in on your chocolate flavored lips in a soft and gentle smooch. after smooch. after smooch. the tendencies of a new boyfriend still reeling in; having the girlfriend of your dreams is not something you can get used to just like that.
𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡
jake has been hanging out and around you for months now. it should have gotten easier by this time, he thinks. but no, every look, every conversation, every subtle touch feels like it burns hotter than the last time. are these the side effects of a crush? of getting closer to them? or of behaving normally after accidentally pecking? jake checks all the boxes.
"yeah so it's supposed to go like this. did you get i—" jake looks up from the project files on the desk, his voice and his life dropping down to his ass at the touch of your lips on his. what the hell is happening? are you actually? is he dreaming? jake cannot decide on what he should think. kiss back obviously! what's more to think?!
the kiss is short and sweet, and it doesn't satisfy him. hand immediately grabbing your throat to keep you from pulling away as he begins responding to the kiss. lips engulfing yours in a deeper and longer one, like it's the nth time you are kissing. like he's so used to it, like he's addicted?
“what— what was that?” jake pants out, somehow managing to pull away. his demeanor shifting drastically from the one that had just possessed him. the tendencies of a crush finally getting a taste; once you get hooked, there's no going back. not after a kiss uncalled for like that.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡
he has slept once with you, just once sunghoon reminds himself— grounds himself; for he feels way too obsessed with the thought of you for having only had you once in that way. is it normal? probably not. will he do something about it? probably not.
so he acts like normal, tries to. his hands in his pockets as he walks with you to his car, head hanging low even though his eyes keep stealing glances at you while he tells you about his upcoming tournaments. stopping to open the passenger seat door for you, still speaking of his fears of lack of perfectionism.
"there's still parts i need to work extra o—" but instead of getting right in, you get onto your tiptoes and pull him by his collar into a kiss. if a body can function with a disjointed heart, sunghoon swears it's him.
his heart skipping beats in a row and all of a sudden feeling like it's stopped entirely. yet his hands and lips move without a second thought, without waiting for even a millisecond. grabbing you by the back of your neck and kissing you right back, nibbles and suckles and tongue and everything.
"you'll do well, don't worry too much," the tendencies of a one night stand turned friend; it's probably not the best idea to become buddies with someone you slept with, especially if you want more.
𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗪𝗢𝗢
the hallways are crowded as always, loud and bustling, drowning out your and sunoo’s laughs and giggles. talking about anything and everything while you wait for another friend.
sunoo's known you for a few years now, not a lot but enough to know when something's up. “he didn't check it properly and then.. hey? are you oka—” and he notices it on your face a fraction of a moment before you pull him into an abrupt kiss— mid conversation.
frozen, nervous and confused. yet all he thinks is actually how uncannily decent it feels, almost encroaching a feeling way too good. “i’m so sorry sun. i told my ex we are dating and he looked our way when he passed by and i panicked—” sunoo shushes you all too quickly, regretting not having kissed back properly.
“i get it, we can pretend. i don't mind it,” he doesn't know what comes over him as he proposes the idea, but he definitely expects to get into situations like these. why? he has no clue. he just wants it.
“everything you need to do to convince him, i’m all in,” his gaze trails over your lips, leaning closer unintentionally. another kiss right in the middle of the hallway. the tendencies of a friend offering to help in a non friendly way; fake dating a friend you feel like you could possibly develop feelings for is like digging your own grave.
𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡
four months, seventeen days, twelve hours and probably thirty-six minutes. jungwon’s counting with all he has. this relationship, or whatever is going on between you two; beyond friends and bordering lovers, is bugging him down to his core. it's eating away at him.
“you just called me your friend,” leaning against the elevator wall, hands in his pockets, jungwon tries to behave— be as nonchalant as he can. jealousy? what's that? look me in the eyes and tell me i'm just a friend look.. no he isn't looking at you like that. snap out of it yang jungwon!
“you really think i’m just a friend? after all that we have don—” two steps closer, bodies pressed, eyes locked and your kiss that shuts him up. oh to hell with being normal with you. your hands slide around the back of his neck and his words die down against your lips like kissing you is his second nature.
“boyfriend? you want that label?” the mumbles against his lips, the sound of your soft breaths and the taste of your lipbalm, it's like jungwon is high.
“again.” catching your lower lip between his in a languid nibble. he can't help but keep wanting to kiss you, the ding of the elevator drowned out behind all his thoughts of you. the tendancies of a situationship with obvious feelings; being friendzoned by your girlfriend-to-be gets you jealous, he'll admit it now.
𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜
friends. friends. friends. riki chants internally, again and again. and again. poopy diaper, runny nose, screeching tantrums— he thinks everything unpleasant about you, everything he possibly can. childhood friends ripping each other's hair out, neighbours annoying each other across the bedroom windows, classmates snitching out on each other's crushes. everything that's just friends.
nothing more. never— impossible. riki soothes himself, his mind and heart still jumbling all around after your question earlier, ‘what if we kissed?’ disgusting! right? he's not sure if he's answering or questioning his sanity.
and though the conversation is stirred clear of the topic, both of you nestled on your bedroom floor talking about club applications; his eyes staring right at you, seeming as unfazed as ever, his psychological state is nowhere near willing to calm down.
“what do you think about the drama clu—” your lips don't last even a second on his, before he is pushing you away, like he's allergic to kisses.
“w-what are you doing!” riki exclaims, fingers rubbing over his mouth,”i told you earlier,” and then slowly reaching forward to brush them against yours as he leans back in, involuntarily he insists. “i know but this is, so weird.. i’m not supposed to like it,” soft mumbles and lips grazing. the tendencies of a lifelong friend crossing an improbable line. locking lips with your childhood friend just for a ‘what if’ is the worst plan ever, or maybe not so much.
taglist 。open! @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @brachives @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @eeunoia @nxzz-skz @shawnyle @potato0579 @enhastolemyheart @ro-diaries @aaa-sia @enhabooks @criminalyun @oddracha @seochangbinnnnnnnnnnn @jayjw16enxp
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blueskittlesart · 6 months ago
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All children raised religiously are being abused. They're sweet now but in thirty years see who's voting for Trump Jr or who ever the fuck.
ok let's talk about it. for context i've been working with children aged 2-6 in both school and home settings for almost 10 years and have met kids raised in basically every major religion in the world. I was personally raised completely agnostic.
religion is not inherently abuse. religion is a moral framework. All religions have the potential to become high-control groups or perpetuate abuse, and certain religions are more prone to those issues than others. that does not mean that teaching your child about the god you believe in is abusive. the abuse comes when your religion perpetuates a lack of choice, which, as I have already explained, most of the religious children i have worked with are not experiencing. Religion at such a young age is often primarily about stories, which preschool aged children LOVE. The bible functions similarly to, say, a my little pony episode to these children, in the sense that it's a fun story they get to experience which teaches them an age-appropriate moral lesson at the end. (and by and large, these kids are only getting the age-appropriate stories and lessons. I do not know any evangelical children who are being taught about the rapture and i don't condone that kind of fear tactic, but again, that's not what's being discussed here. we're talking about RELIGION, not high-control groups that happen to use god as a mechanism to perpetuate their abuse.)
in that same vein, religion in preschool aged children largely functions as a moral framework, which, in certain situations, can genuinely be very helpful. the christian and muslim children I have worked with especially are very often the ones that are the best at resolving conflict. they understand the concept of "treat others the way you want to be treated" and they're able to articulate it to their peers at an age where their morality is still developing and children often think in very black and white, self-centered ways. With rituals like prayer, church, etc, at such a young age they tend to consider them bonding activities. they have friends at their church or temple. their entire family prays together in the same way an agnostic family may enjoy a family dinner. again, I'm not denying that these rituals have the potential to be used to control or abuse, but they are not INHERENTLY abusive. they're normal. religion is a normal part of life for a VERY large percent of the population. telling your two year old about heaven isn't inherently going to strike the fear of god into their heart. more likely it's going to make them tell their babysitter, very earnestly, that when they go to heaven they're going to bring their legos so that we can all play legos together in heaven.
it is very likely that you, personally, have people in your life who are privately religious and you never even knew, because religion is not inherently a public statement of identity nor is it necessarily conducive to fringe or radical beliefs. it is a part of the human experience. you need to learn to be normal about religion.
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sidesteppostinghours · 1 year ago
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feeling some rather intense thoughts and emotions over steps that arent mine, about an au that i did not create.
@/idlenight if you see this im sorry but i had to borrow your boy because it was all i could think about after seeing aurries tags
#ok but#julia and river bonding over living in others(specifically ricardos) shadow#julia was always just surge#the second in command to marshal charge himself#everybody always saw her as the lesser sibling#meanwhile river was charges sidekick#could never be seen by anybody as anything more than an extension of another person#julia loves her brother but she cant deny some of the things river says about him#when heartbreak happens shes devastated#not only did she lose her best friend#she lost the only person who really understood her#who would choose her over marshal fucking charge#and maybe she blames ricardo for his death. for not shutting river down completely when he insisted on going. its stupid but she cant help i#fast forward a few years and they both managed to pull eachother out of their post hb messes#theyre working together as a team and equals this time#julia finds river at the diner first#its the best thing thats ever happened to her even if river is so... different now#she got her best friend back and thats all that matters to her#then one way or another she finds out that river is the new sidestep#shes furious and horrified and grieving the man that he was but she doesnt tell a soul#not even ric. /especially/ not ric#and little by little? she starts agreeing with him. helping him even. until she reaches a breaking point and Very Publicly switches sides#probably throws a few curses ricardos way on love tv too#do you think chens relationship with river strains after that#chen tries convincing river to get julia to drop villainy#meanwhile river is having none of that shit#also would river use it as an excuse to finally chew out ricardo in rangers hq lmfao#i have to sleep now so bad but#nmoc: river becker#ortega
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goldfades · 4 months ago
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SEX TAPE──BUECKERS⁵
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─ summary | “what if we record it?”
─ pairing | paige bueckers x fem!reader
─ warnings | nsfw!!! oral (paige receiving), heavy praise, sex tape (obvs), um... pretty short but i wanna make another part, lmk if yall enjoyed it
ok love u bye!!! pls send me requests!!!!!!
⇨ missing out on updates? check out my masterlist!
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The idea just came out of seemingly nowhere, it had caught you off guard.
Your breath hitched, and you blinked, pulling back slightly to meet Paige's gaze. Her lips were still swollen from kissing, her eyes dilated and you could see something more intense beneath them. You weren’t sure how to respond right away.
She's such a horny fuck.
“Wait, what?” you asked, voice a little shaky, heart thudding in your chest.
Paige smirked, brushing a strand of hair out of your face, her touch lingering against your cheek. “You heard me,” she said softly, her voice low but playful. “It could be a lot of fun.”
A rush of heat spread through your body, and suddenly, you were caught between the thrill of the moment and the surprise of her bold suggestion. Your thoughts raced—was this really happening?
You swallowed hard, your pulse quickening as the weight of the situation settled over you. Paige’s fingers gently traced your jawline, sending shivers down your spine. The idea had shaken you, but it also stirred something deep within—a curiosity, an excitement that you hadn’t expected. There was no denying the heat between you, the electric charge that always seemed to spark whenever you were together. But this… this was different.
“Paige…” you whispered her name, almost as if saying it would help you make sense of what she’d just proposed. Your eyes searched hers, trying to gauge how serious she was, or if this was just a momentary whim.
She didn’t flinch. Her gaze held steady, playful but sincere. “What, baby?” she asked softly, leaning closer, her breath warm against your lips. “We don’t have to. But…” Her fingers curled against the back of your neck, pulling you gently toward her. “If we did, it would just be for us. No one else would ever know. You know how I get when I'm on away games...”
Again, such a horny fuck.
Her voice was a mixture of teasing and promise, and the way she looked at you—like you were the only person in the world that mattered—made it hard to think straight. The space between you was almost nonexistent now, your foreheads nearly touching as her lips hovered dangerously close to yours again. The temptation was overwhelming.
Your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of anxiety and anticipation swirling together. “You… you’re serious?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, unsure if you wanted her to confirm or dismiss the idea.
Paige’s lips curled into a half-smile, and she tilted her head slightly, eyes twinkling with that mischievous glint that always made your knees weak. “Why wouldn’t I be?” she said softly, brushing her lips against yours in a feather-light kiss that left you wanting more. “Think about it—something just for us. A secret just between us.”
A secret.
That word sent a ripple of excitement through you, despite the nervous flutter in your stomach. The idea of something that was just yours and hers, shared in the privacy of this moment, was undeniably thrilling. You’d never done anything like that before—never even considered it, really—but with Paige, everything felt different. She had a way of making you feel like you could step outside your comfort zone and still be completely safe with her.
Your fingers unconsciously tightened on her waist, pulling her closer, your body betraying the uncertainty still lingering in your mind. Paige noticed, her smile widening, and she took the opportunity to press her lips against yours again, deeper this time. Her kiss was demanding but patient, giving you time to melt into it, letting the hesitation slip away with each passing second.
When she pulled back, her eyes searched yours for any sign of doubt, but you were lost in her, your mind spinning with possibilities. “Got my phone right here,” she murmured, voice low and seductive, her hand sliding down to the pocket of her basketball shorts. She pulled it out slowly, holding it between you like a tempting offer.
Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at the device in her hand, your mind racing. It would be so easy to say yes, to give in to the moment, to let yourself be swept up in the rush of it all. Paige’s thumb hovered over the screen, her expression a perfect mix of teasing and serious.
But the gravity of what she was suggesting wasn’t lost on you. This wasn’t just a random suggestion—it was intimate and personal. Something you couldn’t take back once it was done. You thought about what it meant, how this moment would tie the two of you together in a way that went beyond anything else you’d shared.
“P,” you started again, your voice softer this time, more sure of yourself. “I… I don’t know. What if something happens? What if—”
“Nothing will happen,” she cut you off gently, her hand coming up to cradle your cheek, grounding you with the warmth of her touch. “I would never let anything bad happen. Not to you. Not to us.” Her eyes softened, the playful edge fading into something more serious, more real. “It’s just for us, I promise.”
You searched her face, feeling the sincerity behind her words. Paige had always been good at making you feel safe, like no matter what you did or how crazy things got, she’d always be there to catch you if you fell. And right now, looking into her eyes, you wanted to believe that more than anything.
Still, there was a part of you that hesitated. You weren’t sure if it was fear of the unknown or just the sheer intensity of the moment. “I trust you,” you whispered, leaning your forehead against hers, feeling the steady rise and fall of her breath against your chest. “But this is… new.”
Paige’s lips pressed a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth, her voice tender when she spoke again. “It is new. But that’s what makes it fun, right?” She pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes, her thumb brushing your bottom lip gently. “We can stop at any time. If you’re not comfortable, we won’t do it. I can always delete it.”
That’s what you needed to hear—the reassurance that she wasn’t pushing you, that this was completely your choice. And in that moment, with Paige so close, so open, so trusting, you felt the last bit of your doubt melt away.
“Okay,” you breathed, the word escaping before you could overthink it. Paige’s eyes lit up immediately, and you couldn’t help but smile at her excitement. “But only if—”
“Only if it’s just for us,” she finished for you, her lips crashing against yours again before you could say anything else. This kiss was deeper, more urgent, as if the floodgates had been opened, and all the tension between you was finally spilling over.
Her hands roamed your body, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. You could feel the rapid beat of her heart against your chest, mirroring your own, as her phone clattered to the floor beside you, forgotten in the heat of the moment.
She pulled back slowly, analyzing your expression to see if there was any trace of hesitation left. When she was satisfied, she pulled away slightly and grabbed her phone. There was no going back now.
───
"Just like that, pretty girl," she mumbled as she let out a low moan, her hand gripping your hair as you glanced up her iPhone lens facing you. You hummed at the sight, your tongue poking out to taste more of her.
You were on your knees as Paige laid on the couch, her legs spread as you ate her out slowly, just how she liked. Her hands were on your head, controlling your every movement. Every time you glanced up at the camera, it was a new level of motivation—the idea of being recorded was exhilarating, and the thought of Paige rewatching the tape when she was alone...
God, the thought alone made your pussy wetter.
You moaned as you gazed up at the camera once again, a small smile on your lips as you leaned away. At that, Paige let out a chuckle. "Dirty fucking girl," she shook her head in mock displeasure.
Your chin was covered with her juices, you were glimmering under the camera's flash. Paige's free hand leaned in, wiping it all over your face before pushing your head in again.
You shut your eyes at the taste, humming once again. God, she tasted heavenly. You began moving your tongue quicker across her wetness, the sound echoing throughout the room as Paige let out another groan.
"Oh fuck, yeah. Keep going, just like that, just like that," she praised as her head fell back on to the couch in pleasure. Her grip on your hair tightened as she pushed you into her pussy, another groan leaving her lips.
Your tongue began flicking her clit rapidly, her moans and your sloppy sounds echoing throughout the empty apartment. A few seconds later, her body stilled as she came, the tape becoming shaky before her phone fell onto her stomach.
Paige leaned down to give you a sloppy kiss, humming at the taste of her on your tongue. "Was so good, baby," she mumbled against your lips before leaning away.
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 months ago
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After Hunt Showers
Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader SFW
Synopsis: After Sam denies Dean the first shower after a hunt, you let Dean join you.
Warnings: showering together, some light language, not fully edited (I gotta get to class 😭)
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The sound of rain hitting the windows of Baby would have lulled you to sleep on a regular day, however, after all the adrenaline from the hunt you just completed, sleep was nowhere in sight. Some rock song you didn’t quite recognize right now was playing in the background acting like white noise. All you could think about on this ride home was getting into a scalding hot shower and wasting the day’s torments away while you scrubbed all the grime and muck off yourself. You openly cherished the quiet time you got in the shower and the ability of a good shower to keep you sane.  Dean was humming along, drumming his fingers along to the drums on the steering wheel. You looked over to see what Sam was doing and caught Dean’s eyes in the rear view. When your eyes met for the brief encounter, he shot you a wink causing you to blush and roll your eyes in response. You could see the exhaustion in Dean’s eyes and a shade of purple shadowing under them. He looked like a zombie, cursed with the inability to sleep. 
                  “I want first shower tonight, Sammy.” Dean said, reaching over to turn the car off.
                  “What? No way!” Sam turned to face him, “You had first shower last time.” 
                  “Too bad Sammy. Eldest gets first shower” Dean looked at you with a grin, “Back me up on this Y/N.”
                  “I’m not touching that argument with a ten-foot pole.” You put your hands up and laughed, “That’s a two of you problem.” “You could just shower in my room before me.”
                  “No go, I know you’re exhausted.” Dean answered sternly looking back at you. His eyes softened looking at you and a small smile appeared. Dean put a hand on your knee before Sam started arguing again.
                  “I get first shower.” Sam asserted.
                  “Dude, that’s bullshit.” Dean turned back to face him, the look of brotherly annoyance returning across his face again.
                  “Fine. Rock, paper, scissors.” Sam threw his hand on with a fist on the other.
                  Reluctantly, Dean did the same. The two looked sternly at each other, not breaking eye contact. 
                  “Rock, paper, scissors, shoot” Sam chanted.
                  “Damn it!” Dean yelled and threw his head back in defeat, “Best out of three.”
                  “What- dude.” 
                  “Just do it Sammy.” He insisted.
                  The same thing happened again, and Dean accepted his fate. This wasn’t without complaining that Sam showered like a girl and took too much time. He decided that it would be quicker to wait for you to finish showering and then borderline drown himself when you got out. You and Dean walked into your motel room. Ever since you started dating, you slept in a separate room to give Sam some much needed privacy. Dropping your duffel from the car onto the floor next to the bed, you got out a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom to start the shower. It was a moment later when you walked out and saw Dean sitting in a wobbly desk chair, staring up at the ceiling, willing himself to shower when you were done. You felt bad seeing him this way.
                  “Yell at me when you’re done, will ya.” Dean said, closing his eyes and leaning back into the chair.
                  “You look exhausted.” You said, walking over and running your fingers through his hair. 
                  It was still sweaty from running around all night; he needed a shower. Dean sighed deeply and leaned into your touch, nearly falling asleep. 
                  “But I still look beautiful right?” He popped an eye open to see your response and cracked a smile.
                  “I suppose so.” 
                  “Suppose so? That’s just hurtful Y/N/N.” Dean loudly clapped a hand over his chest in feigned offense.
                  You giggled, kissing him to make up for the comment, “Will you ever be able to forgive me?” 
                  “I suppose so.” 
                  You rolled your eyes and started running your fingers through his hair again, causing him to close his eyes again.
                  “Wanna come shower with me? It’ll be quicker.” You asked.
                  “I’d never say no to that, but isn’t the shower kind of your me time?” Dean answered.                 
                  “Yeah, but I’m fine. You don’t look like you’re staying awake much longer anyways.”
                  “So, what you’re saying is, you want Dean time, not me time?” 
                  “I’m saying that I’m pretty sure you’re not going to shower if you don’t now, and I don’t want your stink on me tonight when you have a death grip around me.” You poked the top of his head and smiled, “Now, are you coming or not?”
                  “I’d never miss the chance.”
                  You dropped your towel and stepped inside the shower, letting the steaming hot water hit your face and roll down. Dean followed quickly behind you, and you moved out of the way for him to soak his hair and wash his face once you had done so. Grabbing the shampoo, you lathered the soap into your hair and started rinsing out the blood, dirt, dust, and whatever else was in there. Dean moved out of your way so you could wash the shampoo out. 
                  “You’re beautiful.” He said, running his hands through your hair, now slick with conditioner.
                  “I’m flattered.” You replied, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him pull you into a kiss. Dean yawned loudly while he helped rinse the conditioner out of your hair. You laughed and looked up at him, “Are you going to survive, pretty boy?” 
                  “No.” He yawned again.
                  “Let me rinse your hair.” You said pulling him close and letting his head fall on your shoulder.
                  Dean wrapped his arms around your waist and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of your embrace and your nails massaging the shampoo into his hair. You felt his eye lashes flutter against your shoulder and his breath fanning out against your skin. He had a tight grip around you and didn’t seem to be letting go anytime soon. You moved to reach up and grab the handheld shower head and began rinsing the product out of hair, making sure to avoid getting any soap in his eyes. 
                  “You really should be more intentional about rest, Dean.” You said quietly.
                  “I’m fine.” He answered.
                  “No, you’re not. You’re exhausted.” “I’m not upset with you; I just want you to pay more attention to what you need.”
                  “You’re probably right.” Dean said.
                  “Did I hear that right?” You feigned a gasp.
                  Dean raised his head and shot you a look making you laugh.
                  “How about we sleep in tomorrow?” He asked.
                  “that’s a good start.” You agreed carding your fingers through his dripping hair.
                  After finishing showering, the two of you got dried off. You brushed your teeth next to Dean as he rested his head on your shoulder. When doing your skin routine, he glued himself to you. Again, you felt his breath fanning against your skin and eyelashes fluttering against your neck. His warmth kept you from the chills you typically got after a shower. 
                  “You almost done?” He asked in whisper.
                  “Almost.” You said with a small smile watching him. 
                  Silently, you streaked moisturizer across his forehead when his eyes were closed. He popped an eye open and rubbed the stripe on his face, making it disappear in his skin. 
                  “Very funny.” He breathed out. 
                  “It was.” You laughed and put it away.
                  “You done now?” 
                  “Yea.”
                  Dean pulled you into the bedroom and onto the bed before throwing the covers over the two of you. He let a groan when his head hit the pillow and grabbed for you to come closer to him. He was clingy at night, and tonight was no different. 
                  “Want me to set an alarm?” You asked in a hushed voice.
                  “Hell no.” He laughed, “Sammy will bang on the door when it’s time to go.” 
                  “You’re probably right.” 
                  “I know I’m right.” He poked your side, “Now go to sleep. I love you.” 
                  “Love you too.”
                  You curled into his side and smiled feeling his kiss on the top of your head before soft snores emitted from Dean. Tonight, you were glad to not have your usual “me time”. 
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werecreature-addicted · 9 months ago
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How I like thinking about human x werewolf breeding (with the human with the womb) is that the first few times trying to breed them it won't work, but the cum in them starts changing their biology in some way that makes it more amicable to being knocked up by a werewolf and also makes it so they release more eggs at once. So, like, after a week or whatever of being constantly creampied by their werewolf partner, their biology is changed to be made to be bred by werewolved instead of humans and they can get litters of 3+ without it completely destroying their body
This will have weird interactions if they try to get knocked up by a human, possibly being completely unable to since werewolves are so much more fertile that human sperm just doesn't work anymore, or they just still have that tendancy of multiple births
There is something soooooo dehumanizing about having your womb changed and altered to be the perfect breeding bitch for a monster. your body is theirs now, no longer yours. if it wasn't theirs you wouldn't be pregnant right now. it's really hot. you're nothing more than a werewolf-breeding toy now. getting fat and round with their pups because that's all your body is good for now. i
Imagine a werewolf pinning you down and pumping you full of their thick, warm cum over and over again, not even trying to get you pregnant, not yet at least, just stuffing you full of their cum so that their seed, vial and potent starts to infect you, change you.
You start going into heat too like a proper bitch. it starts to ache when you don't have cock inside of you, the pain only fading when their knot is deep inside of you and your pussy is full of cum.
And that need to get fucked full of werewolf cum doesn't leave after you're pregnant, you already have a litter but your body is still desperate for more, and you look so cute pregnant and round they can't deny you.
Why you would ever go back to fucking humans after you've snagged yourself a werewolf is beyond me, but if you did there's no way they would get you pregnant, it's just not going to happen now that your womb is accustomed to werewolf seed. which is again so hot and dehumanizing, you cannot get pregnant by your own kind anymore, you're more monster than human, completely owned by a werewolf.
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horizonx101 · 7 months ago
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How to actually shift
Tldr- persist in the affirmations that you wake up in your dr every morning or thoughts that mean the same thing, no matter what the physical world is showing you and do not waver 🪐
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Shifting, believe it or not, is actually the most simple thing in the universe- you have been shifting for your entire life. What do I mean by that? Shifting isn’t some supernatural power that you have to be chosen by another force and then do 200 different methods or it won’t work. Shifting is the exact same as manifestation- when you manifest, you shift to a reality where you have that thing. When you shift, you manifest a certain reality that you have chosen. You shift whenever you assume something to be true in your reality. For example, you may assume that people dislike you- even if there is no evidence. As a result, you shift to a reality (or manifest a reality) where people dislike you. This is called Law of Assumption and you are doing this all the time whether you’re conscious of it or not. Think about your life, what has been a pattern for you? Have you been consistently unsuccessful in shifting? This is because you have a belief, a dominant assumption that shifting is difficult for you or that failure is normal to you.
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The subconscious
There are two parts of your mind- the conscious mind, the one that you are aware of, and the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind defines your 3D, using your conscious mind (daily thoughts) to know what to project into the physical world. Your subconscious has no senses, it can’t see, hear or feel anything, which is why it relies on your conscious mind to tell it what is true and what is false. Therefore, your subconscious mind cannot deny anything you are telling it- which is why you can manifest anything. If you have negative beliefs that you have persisted in for years, you can change this with repetition of favourable affirmations, for example ‘manifesting has always been easy for me’ or ‘I always shift instantly and it is completely normal for to get what I want’. Your mind doesn’t like change, it likes patterns which is where resistance comes from. Your mind has only ever known struggle in shifting, since that’s what you have been telling it consistently- therefore you will get doubts and opposing thoughts. However, you decide what it true because the physical world IS your dominant thoughts. As soon as you decide you have shifted, you have shifted, doubts cannot do anything unless you give them power and worry about them. Whenever you get opposing thoughts, persist through them. Affirm things like “What are you talking about? I literally woke up in my desired reality” and “No, shifting is easy, it the easiest thing in the world”- exaggerate your affirmations. Eventually, your brain will adapt to the pattern of shifting being simple and easy for you- which is what will then reflect into the 3D. This doesn’t need to take loads of time, just affirm ‘doubts don’t exist’ and repeat that thought to saturate your mind.
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The 3D and 4D
The 3D is your physical world, whereas the 4D is your thoughts and imagination. A key concept of Loa (law of assumption) is that your 4D, aka imagination, is your true reality. How? The 3D originates from your thoughts, it is simply a projection of your 4D. Therefore, the 4D must be your true reality. This is whatever you decide is true HAS to be true. A thought, when persisted in, HAS to reflect into the 3D, as that it the law. This is also why the 3D is completely irrelevant, circumstances do not matter whatsoever, because anything is possible. Anything you imagine is a possibility- what ever you DECIDE is true IS fact. Be stubborn in your affirmations- even if something is unfavourable happens, for example you don’t wake up in your desired reality, simple tell yourself that you woke up in your desired reality because shifting is easy. It has to reflect into your 3D eventually. And when I say eventually, I don’t mean that it has to take months or something- of course not! You control EVERYTHING which means that you either consciously or unconsciously decide how long it takes based on your beliefs. If you dominantly believe that shifting has to take years then it will take years because that is what you’re telling your subconscious. Assume that shifting is instant for you and persist in that affirmation. Things don’t have to take time!
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Doubts
Doubts don’t have to do anything or mean anything- you give everything meaning. Decide that ‘I dont get doubts’ and ‘negative thoughts don’t manifest’ and that’s what will happen. Do not panic and spiral when you get an opposing thought- they are completely normal. You can literally just laughs at the thought, take a second to look at it and just be like “lmao what? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever thought I’m in my dr rn” and the thought will carry so much less weight, it’ll simply pass by just like a random thought. Treat it like how you would treat your mind randomly saying ‘the grass is purple and I was born last year’- you wouldn’t even acknowledge it because it’s just not true. Remember, anything you decide is true IS true, so doubts cannot do anything as long as you don’t give them the power to do anything.
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I recommend Indigo Detry and Sammy Ingram on YouTube! They explain these concepts really well !!
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