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tsukikoayanosuke · 2 years ago

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Behind the Fic: TW:OPT - Chapter 157-162

The second part of Proposal of Destiny Arc is here! First and last triple update!

WARNING: This will contain a bit of spoiler for the newest chapters of my fan fiction Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure.

Let's start by talking about why I chose to adapt Ghost Marriage. Looking back to the post where I decided to make everything into one year, Ghost Marriage was supposed to be a companion arc with Welcome to the Villains’ World. Timeline wise back in that very early post, Ghost Marriage was the only one so far that we don't have a clear cut when it happened. All we know is that it happened after Heartslabyul Arc just looking at Ace and Riddle's civil interactions. Because of this unclearness, I feel comfortable adapting it this early.

Chapter 157: And All of Her Friends will Work Together

The title for this and the next chapter is taken from the lyrics of The Wedding Song from Corpse Bride

Welcome to the point where I yell at Azul "I know you're simping at Jonah but please don't be redundant".

Look, I love Azul simping on Jonah as much as the next guy, but there will be the point where I'll ask "Is this too much"

I'm actually worried about how I will write Azul in the future. Unlike Riddle, who still has a lot to grow (as seen in the next few chapters), I feel like Azul's main emotional conflict is done. My biggest worry is I'll be accidentally reducing Azul into the love interest who has nothing to do outside of Jonah. I'll try to figure it out in the future but right now, his main mission is to save Jonah.

Speaking of saving the groom, I think by this point everyone knows that we're going to have a major divergence in the second half of this arc. I feel like if Yuu/MC is in trouble, more people will be onboard in saving them, since they're more involved with more characters, unlike Idia.

Honestly, I really like writing the tiny things, like for a second Kalim is the one being level-headed and Jamil understands Azul's position. And the many chaos attempts, obviously.

At this point, Riddle was the only one who hadn't let go of what Azul did in Octavinelle Arc. This will be addressed in a future chapter. But for now, we're stirring up an ancient drama once again. What is this? YouTube commentary channels drama?

The main inspiration for the plan is, as it's said, the short Goddess of Spring, the short that became a practice animation before Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Back when Ghost Marriage was very first run in the JP server in 2020, there were guesses on what is it based on (in a similar fashion as Fun and Fancy Free for Happy Beans Day). Some people suggested it might be the Goddess of Spring, which to an extent, was inspired by Hades and Persephone. Or Wikipedia said Proserpina and Pluto.

The three things Azul suggested as the groom's gift is based loosely on some scene from the short.

The "cake of an early spring" is inspired by Proserpina coming out from the Underworld and turning the world from winter to spring. The "crystal valued by the king" is inspired by the diamond Pluto given to Proserpina. The "waltz at the height of the wedding" is inspired by the song and dance Pluto's imps are doing after Proserpina is taken to the Underworld.

At this point, I realized I had an issue with the timeline in this arc. This arc technically only lasted one day in canon, but I think I had a problem with how long the plan would take.

Chapter 158: To Make It the Perfect Day She's Always Dreamed

This episode is in a similar manner to some of my filler arcs which is a collection of short with very vague connections. This time, it was the view of love from different characters' views. For Ruggie and Deuce, this is more familial love, while for Azul and Jamil, this is more romantic love.

How they were partner-ups was based on some of the cards. Ruggie paired up with Malleus is a reference to the Masterchef event. Deuce with Silver is from his Starsending Robes story. The light music club is pretty obvious. And Jamil being a singer is a call for his future NRC-Tribe main singer position.

Okay, to clarify. At the point of writing this, I decided to follow my headcanon of the family of other characters, in this case, Ruggie and Deuce. And those headcanons were made a long time ago, way before the birthday cards were ever launched. In his Birthday Boy card, it was said that his mom died during childbirth while his dad went to buy milk went to work, and never return so he was taken care of by his grandma. In my fic, Ruggie was a child his abusive mother didn't want while his dad died from overworking. Deuce's backstory was more simple to build on: his mother and father were in an arranged marriage but then got divorced from household abuse.

The reason why Ruggie and Deuce were talking about family love is because I just feel like there isn't that much talk about it. Deuce and his love for his mother is one of his greatest strengths, so we need to mention it at least once in the fic. For Ruggie, I mostly just because I feel like it because I like to explore my own headcanon.

More headcanon, Valley of Thorn is an old-timey kingdom. Guillotine still exists there. Malleus, while might understand technology, might also not understand that much of human custom because he's a sheltered prince. Just not that innocent. He's just a bit confused.

Malleus vs cake. The battle of the century.

Oh, the Chantilly cake recipe I based it on here.

Return to the Dwarfs' Mine. This can be a call back to the Prologue or a reference to Camp Vargas.

Now, let's talk about Kalim and Jamil. I ship them. I still do. However, at this point in the fic, I feel like I'm not ready to pair them up again, especially fresh from Kalim Disappearance Arc. Yes, they've forgiven each other however that doesn't mean they're healing just yet. Both of them still has a broken heart, they still need to change.

I think Jamil's POV of this chapter is the most different. I think this is the first thing I wrote for this chapter. So I think that's why it more focuses on Jamil's view of changes rather than love.

But you can count Kalim's changing love as well. Mind you, Kalim is still in love with Jamil. He accepted that Jamil won't return his feeling so this is a one-sided crush. Whether or not Kalim or Jamil will fully mend their bond, Kalim is still in his breakup era. So, until then, I can't pair them up just yet.

A Shrek reference here. Remember, this will be important.

Oh, and Lilia's power to make a space for them to practice, is built in similarly to what Malleus did in the Endless Halloween event. I'm actually gonna use this more, especially in Jonah's rewritten backstory.

We see more of Chubby being protective of Eliza here.

At this point, I do hold on to Chubby and Eliza being childhood friends to lovers, especially after I changed a lot about Eliza's backstory.

Originally, this was supposed to be Chubby's POV with his own flashback. However, it didn't flow well so I changed it to Azul's POV. His flashback will appear in a future chapter.

The whole idea of the Surprise Proposal, while also taken from the actual Ghost Marriage event, is actually more in line with the Project Sekai event called A Song Of Vows For You, Dressed In White! There the bride planned to have a fake objection scene as proof that the groom is the most loyal to her, almost similar to the Ghost Marriage event.

Also, we still keep Idia bitching about the failed rescue attempt because it's just too funny to be left out.

Chapter 159: The Courtship Tactics

This chapter is an adaptation of the Ghost Marriage event story and the Suitor Suit story of Riddle with some mentions of Rook (in the first half with the poem) and Epel (in the second half with the borrowing horse).

I'm actually pretty torn when adapting Riddle's story. The thing is I really Riddle and Malleus' interaction in that card, but in the fic, Malleus was nowhere near Riddle because he was baking cake with Ruggie. That was when I decided to have Crowley interact with Riddle instead. Because I need more Bird Dad agenda.

This is where I started to play around with Riddle. And I realized "man, Azul had it rough" XD. Here's the thing. In the fic, everyone made an attempt to do something to make up post-overblot. This includes Riddle and Azul. However, how come Azul getting more backlash compared to Riddle?

This is where I started to get worried as well. Because, in the center, there was Jonah. Back in Heartslabyul Arc, Jonah was not the center of attention, Ace was. Jonah was the side character. However, in Octavinelle Arc, he was the main player, but this time he had more friends, thus Azul getting a heavier judgment.

I guess because Heartslabyul Arc was more about Riddle and Ace that they can solve their issue quickly, and you can say that for Octavinelle Arc as well. But maybe the time spent with them and all of them getting closer can also be a factor. Well, the one that held the biggest grudge were Ace, Deuce, and Grim, with Riddle added post-Heartslabyul Arc.

Honestly, my biggest worry is making Jonah the center of the problem, which unfortunately I'll continue because of Ramshackle Arc. But hopefully, I can maneuver it better.

At this point of writing, Crowley had his own canon-diverged backstory, and his motivation maybe different from canon, thus this might seem OOC of him, I can admit that.

Now, let's talk about Crowley and Riddle's talk. I'm sure not all of you have the same view of forgiveness and second chances. Because I wrote this based on my beliefs as well. My biggest worry is making this sound like preaching and doesn't sound like I'm guilt-tripping Riddle.

I do really like writing Riddle's growth here.

Chapter 160: I Need a Hero

The title is obviously taken from I Need a Hero. This chapter specifically is based on the Shrek 2 climax.

I remember back then people would often joke about how the Ghost Marriage finale should be like Shrek 2. Well, I'm riding the trend and made it like that.

The first part didn't change much. It only started in the second part with the rescue.

I was trying to think what else should I do with the rest of the rescue squad, so I decided to give them a role in the dance, especially Ruggie and his unique magic.

Originally I wanted to have Epel using his unique magic in this chapter, however, I looked up again and found out that Rook helped a lot in Epel awakening it, so I decided not to write it.

There’s also a brief Epel’s Suitor Suit story moment.

The chapter ending with Ace screaming is reminiscent of the end of chapter 130 in which Ace saved Jonah from falling in the Scarabia overblot battle.

Chapter 161: So Say the World's Being Turned Against You

The title of this chapter and the next is the English lyrics of Ai no Scenario sung by JubyPhonic

This chapter, believe it or not, went through some changes.

Firstly, originally this chapter was going to be a battle between the Chubby and the Suitor Suit team similar to canon. This includes rolling everyone away like a log.

(Actually, sometimes I forgot there are other people here XD)

But, for some reason, I didn't write that. I think it was because of both Chubby and Eliza's backstory changes, the rest of the comedic nature of the finale was erased. Leaving us with a more somber finale.

The next was the dialogue. While most followed canon, I kinda tone down Ace's rudeness. Because, again, thanks to the changed backstory, Eliza's position is now as a victim of an unhappy marriage. Thus, Ace screaming that Eliza should just move on sounded way too cruel even to Ace's standard.

With that, Rook and Riddle had extra dialogue. Hammering own on Rook because, you know, he's the love expert, so, of course, he's allowed to give his words.

Now... *deep breath* Chubby's confession. Whoo-boy... It is actually based on the (inappropriate) confession scene from Mo Dao Zu Shi. I can't give the manhua because of the Everyday means Everyday chapter, but I can lead to the audiobook version. Listen. I had that danmei stuck in my head. It changed my life. I will make a reference whenever I can.

This is followed by the flashback scene. Now this flashback scene was kinda iffy because I think this is the only flashback that I can technically count as 'tell not show' (as in usually just narration) that has dialogues. Usually, my flashback is in italics with the exception of Eliza's retelling. Chubby's flashback counted more like flashes. So, I'm explaining in a weird way: my usual flashback is colored scenes with faded borders, Eliza's flashback is just a full-on OVA, while Chubby's flashback ran behind him like a grainy movie. Does this make sense...?

The flashback itself has a bit of inspiration from Daughter of White by mothy. Originally this was going to be a full Ai no Scenario, but I was like “Tsuki. You did Ai no Scenario before. Be creative.” So, Daughter of White was chosen. But also, the main reason why this flashback exists is really just to show Chubby’s puppy love crush. Knowing they are leagues away, I kinda want a scene that will establish their dynamic along with a reason why Chubby would be very devoted to Eliza. Thus, the tree scene is written.

Originally the flashback scene was supposed to be longer, perhaps retelling Eliza’s flashback from Chubby's point of view. But, perhaps from tiredness or I just didn’t know what else to add or I thought it would be way too long, this is the end result instead.

And because of this heavy change in pace, the battle with giant Chubby is cut completely for a fluffier ending because Eliza and Chubby deserve it!

Chapter 162: You'll Always Be by My Side

Despite being the last chapter of the arc, this is actually the first chapter I've ever written during this triple update.

More specifically, the funny process in writing this was I was writing backward. I started with the JonAzul scene before going back to Idia's best-man speech. And then to RiZul dance before finally finishing the flower boy talk.

The JonAzul talk was actually written way before I started this triple update.

The scenes in this chapter are mostly around Ace and Jonah's Suitor Suit card.

Like the previous chapter, there are some changes in the scene.

Originally, there was supposed to be more talk about Ace's past girlfriend between Ace and Deuce during their dance and maybe a slight hint of their crushes. However, I feel like it would be redundant, so ADeuce talk was cut off.

Riddle was supposed to talk about his fiance when Ace or Epel mentioned being betrothed. But that scene was also cut.

Rook's talk meanwhile was an addition. It was also a Mo Dao Zu Shi reference to two couples. Rook's parents were inspired by the relationship between Lang Wangji and Wei Wuxain, while Rook's grandparents were inspired by Qingheng-Jun and Madam Lan.

Rook also said that his family only love once. This is also a well-known Mo Dao Zu Shi fanon term of "Lans only fall in love once". But I feel like someone as romantic as Rook would believe in a soulmate.

Originally, during the walking down the aisle scene, Chubby was supposed to have his flashback sequence. But I ended up moving it to the previous chapter.

So with the flashback moved, we left with an empty sequence. But I was like "Hey, remember that wedding scene from Crazy Rich Asian? what if Jamil sings again?" And thus, another musical number.

The vow said by Chubby and Eliza was actually from Happy Sugar Life. Though I'm warning you about the maybe uncomfortable scene because this is the only scene I can find so far that had the full vow.

More Idia shitting on others during his best man speech. But we love him for that.

The second half of this chapter is fully in Azul's POV despite shifting slightly to Jonah/Jade's POV in the middle.

Originally, during Riddle and Azul's dance, it was supposed to be in Riddle's POV. However, I thought it would flow better if everything happened in a single take in Azul's POV.

However, it didn't lessen Riddle's arc of closure. The path to growth starts with admitting one's mistakes.

(Can you tell I really like writing about Riddle's growth?)

This leads us to our last JonAzul moment of the fic. Riddle joining Jonah and Azul's hand doesn't mean he would stop crushing on Jonah, it's just he trusts Azul again to take care of Jonah along with him.

Well, if Azul got a lot of shovel-talk, Jonah deserves one as well from Jade.

Jonah and Azul's talk was pretty straightforward, mostly around the reincarnation stuff.

And the last part... Woo-boy... I was very gushy when writing it. I was like squealing to my brother whether I want a full-on kiss or not. Because while Azul had admitted multiple times, and this is Azul's POV, it feels like this is not the time for a full kiss mainly because Jonah hasn't made clear his feeling. So we ended up with two kisses instead; on the hand and on the forehead.

The kiss on the forehead is a call back to the ending of Azul's memory maze.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland fanfic #twisted wonderland fic #twst fanart #twst fic #behind the fic: tw:opt #twisted-wonderland: our precious treasure #azul ashengrotto #riddle rosehearts #jonah argentum (my oc)#eliza (twisted wonderland)#chubby (twisted wonderland)

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thelikesofus · 2 years ago

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7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 19 for the writers asks! 💗💗

Ahhhh Hi April xxx ✨💗

7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now?

Okay so there are currently 10 WIPs in my google drive that ive actually started writing but I'm actively working on 3 (maybe 4) of them

theres also another like ten ideas that i haven't even touched yet

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

okay so the three maybe four that i'm actively working on are:

Orphan AU: this is my long fic where Buck and Eddie meet as kids at an orphanage but Buck gets adopted shortly after and then follows Eddie's life until theyre reunited as adults

Pirate AU: I am a sucker for Pirate AUs and I have struggled to find a Buddie one so i'm taking matters into my own hands. This is Captain!Eddie and Tutor!Buck kind of enemies to lovers too

Besties Babies Fic: This is a silly brain worm i got before the s6 finale. Buck and Kameron platonically raising their bio kid and Kameron trying play cupid for Buck and Eddie.

Love Languages Fic: This is an Eddie POV of Buck performing acts of service and Eddie slowly realising he's in love with his best friend

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!

I would love to write every day unfortunately i am also in the final year of my bachelors degree and that takes up a lot of my time however just for you April i will write a sentence (or a few) and share it:

“Maddie,” He hisses as they scurry down the docks. “These men are pirates.”

“I know, Evan,” Maddie whispers back to him. “It’s fine, I promise.”

“It’s fine?!” Evan squawks. “What part of pirates do you not understand?”

Maddie turns back to look at him and her eyes are bright with excitement even behind the perfectly composed look of calm on her face. “They’re nice pirates.”

“NICE PIRATES?!”

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

There are two that come to mind actually the first is y(our) son which is only like 600 words and i wasn't all that happy with it when i posted it (i almost didnt post it tbh) but when it got a crazy positive response i was actually blown away.

The second is my tsunami era fic im so glad i get to hold you because its not the fic i had been working on at the time but the idea wouldnt go away so i wrote it in one sitting and then just posted it without much thought and again got such a positive response which was a nice surprise (particularly because the tsunami was so long ago i didnt think people would be that interested)

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

Not typically but i have made a playlist for the Orphan AU with all of the songs that i chose for the chapter titles which i will share when i post the fic <3

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

From Besties Babies Fic:

"Take her, please!" Before his sleepy brain even registers that it's Kameron on his doorstep he has an armful of squirming, squealing baby.

"Ah, hi Honey." He says to the baby and receives a gummy grin and a vice grip on his nose in return. "Kam, what are you doing here?"

"I just need five minutes to myself. Buckley, please just watch her while I use your shower."

Send me writer asks <3

#ask meegs #writer asks #orphan au #love languages fic #fic: the sea speaks #buddie pirate au #besties babies fic #meegs writes stuff #heartbeatdiaz #lovely April 💗#lovely mutuals #fic: cupid works hard #fic: speaking your love language

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ao3feed-danganronpa · 2 years ago

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And I know I've kissed you before...

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/6qSpvnk

by RaindropsOnAsphalt

But… I didn’t do it right

Can I try again?

Try again,

Try again...

—

Three different times, in three different lives they’ve fallen in love, but it would never be enough.

It could never be enough.

Words: 14036, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi

Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi

Additional Tags: Other characters make appearances but this mainly Shuichi/Kokichi centric so, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Personalities (New Dangan Ronpa V3), Non-toxic pregame personalities, they’re just silly little guys your honor, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, fluff then more fluff then angst with a happy ending, Fluff, an overabundance of flowery fluff, Character Death, (but not really cause VR), Established Relationship, Falling In Love, MAYBE also unrequited love if you count the middle??, Weddings, Background DICE (Dangan Ronpa), I'm so normal about these characters can't you tell?, Inspired by a Mitski Song, Pink in the Night specifically, title is from the lyrics cause I'm a big emotional goose, Killing Game Was A Virtual Reality Simulation (Dangan Ronpa), Everybody Lives, Canon compliant-ish, Spoilers, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, a dramatic lil guy, Saihara Shuichi Needs a Hug, he gots too many feelings, Not Beta Read, we die like my sanity writing this, writing this overflowing amount of pining sdfgh

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/6qSpvnk

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #dangan ronpa #danganronpa #dr

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heybeybey · 4 years ago

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Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Summary: Forced to retire from the Scouts due to a major injury, Levi thinks he'll be spending the rest of his days in domestic solitude. Petra, however, has another idea.

Loosely based on The Way of the Househusband.

Or: Captain Petra x Househusband Levi canonverse AU

AO3 Link

A/N: Okay I've had this outlined for WEEKS (no ending in mind tho) but I never got around to actually drafting it. But....... I had some time this morning and the inspiration after seeing this post so yay.

Thanks to @sleeperswakewriting for introducing me to The Way of the Househusband. It's cute and funny and DEFINITELY RIVETRA in another universe.

This is going be a drabble series btw but no assurance on when I'll be updating each chapter (My Royalty AU draft is glaring at this fic rn tbh). Some chapters will be based on the Netflix show but Levi's condition is a bit different from Tatsu's so it'll probably be loosely based at best.

And yes, the title is from the song My Girl. But I like this version since I think it fits Petra the most :3

Also also, we all know deep down that Levi wants to be a househusband so here you go.

- - -

Chapter 1: The Ceremonies

There was a time when his mind wandered to how his career in the Scouts would end. Levi always thought he'd die on the battlefield, just as he witnessed among his comrades. He'd accepted that reality, sometimes even waiting for it despite his will to continue fighting on.

For some reason, retiring has never crossed his mind.

"Honorably discharged due to major leg injury, incomplete spinal cord injury, and loss of right eyesight."

He can still hear the pity and sadness from Erwin's voice from that day in the hospital when they talked over where he will go from there. The doctors mentioned that his spine will heal over time, but his leg is broken way beyond repair. It's worse enough that amputation was considered at one point. He'd be good as titan food should he retain his current position in the scouts.

At first, he wanted to scream. He wasn't the type to show some outwardly emotion (except for when he's beating down new recruits or the three males in his squad) but being a part of the Survey Corps is what gave this shit of a life some meaning after he was pulled out of the underground.

Frankly, he didn't know what's next.

"Hey, Captain." Petra's sweet voice snapped Levi out of his thoughts and he forces himself to get out of his bad mood. This was her day and he'd be damned if he ruins it for her.

Levi takes her in and the corner of his lip quirks up. He feels pride fill his chest as his eyes strays a bit on the insignia freshly pinned on her uniform.

"I think I should be the one calling you that, Ral." He replies. "Congratulations."

Wheelchair-bound for what may be the rest of his life, Levi and his squad had to sit down and talk over what's next for the Scout's elites. The obvious choice was Eld, but Levi and the rest of the team were surprised when the blonde man turned down the promotion. He says that while he had the leadership skills and the years of experience that makes him more than qualified, he knew that he didn't have the same burning dedication to the cause as much as he'd witnessed in others.

Eld said that he'd be glad to support the next team captain instead. Oluo, while skilled, had often been too focused on his kill count. Gunther has a strategic mind but didn't really have the charm to bring people together.

So they all turned their attention to Petra.

To be honest, Levi had always wanted to promote Petra as his second-in-command. However, Scout regulations demanded a certain number of years that she didn't have yet at the time he first chose his elite squad. He'd never had a problem with Eld, but his and Petra's ability to synchronise on the battlefield is the reason why he'd always turned to her when he needed a second hand.

It makes sense in his eyes and to the rest of the team, even when Erwin and the other soldiers were doubtful of his choice. They've seen how ferocious Petra is during expeditions, but still had the heart to cry alongside her dying comrades. She's kind and helpful, but knows when a hard decision is needed to be made. She'd pitched in her ideas and opinions every time she accidentally passed by the officers' meeting sessions (she always brought them tea so she sometimes hear the conversations). This was often met with a surprised look from her higher-ups but having worked with Petra for quite some time, Levi would just smirk at his fellow veterans.

She's still rough around the edges and she definitely still has more room to improve, but the potential is there. He wouldn't have chosen her as part of his team in the first place if he didn't see that fire.

He wasn't surprised that Eld, Gunther and Oluo supported her, even when Petra was terrified to accept such a responsibility. Levi was firm in his decision.

In the end, Erwin stamped on his approval.

Levi was the one who pinned the insignia on her signifying her new position during today's pinning-on ceremony.

- - -

"Hey, Captain!"

"I think you should stop calling me that, Petra."

"Sorry. Habit." The ginger blushes slightly as she steps closer inside the apartment, basket in hand. "I bought something for you."

She brings out a few fruits from the basket, laying it down on the dining table in his humble apartment. "The farmer's market was on sale today and I had the chance to pass by before they closed."

"You didn't have to buy me all these, Petra."

"I had to use my pay raise for something, Captain," she jests. He wheels himself towards her to assist her with unloading the basket and they both work in silent contentment.

"So, how's your first day?" Levi asks after washing the fruits. Petra's face lights up at his question and the whole room seems to come alive as she chatters on.

"Holy Maria, Captain. I didn't know the team can be this stupid. No wonder you had dark eyebags after training us for years!"

- - -

It's been three months since he resigned from the Scouts. The new captain never fails to come home to the apartment he's renting near the Scout HQ everyday.

Come home? Tch. How delusional can you get.

He'd welcome her back every expedition and every training day. A part of him feels a bit of guilt gnaw on him when he sees how tired Petra is whenever she comes home, thinking of the time when he was her direct commanding officer.

"Captain, can I sleep here tonight?"

Now, he sees the sorrow and fatigue in her eyes. "You're always welcome here, Petra."

He offers to give up his bed for the night but she declines, saying that she'll be fine on the couch. She's unnaturally quiet, but he knows that this is how she typically is after expeditions.

They're both on the couch right now and she snuggles closer to him. Levi motions for her to lay her head on his lap, their boundaries thinning with every single visit.

He's quiet when he sees the tears start to fall from her eyes. Soon, Petra's sobbing and she wraps her arms desperately around him. His hand starts to slowly run through her ginger locks, hoping it gives her some comfort.

"She was the last in my and Oluo's batch." She starts, voice shaking and he gives her space to talk and mourn her comrade. "I wanted to save her... but it was either her or compromise the mission. I had to give the order."

"I'm sorry." Because if someone understands her better, it's him.

- - -

"Levi?"

It's the scout's day off today and they're all allowed to leave the vicinity to visit friends and family, or simply just to fuck around if they wanted.

Petra, not surprisingly, decides to spend another weekend with him.

"Hmm?" He's currently preparing their lunch, wheeling himself around the kitchen area.

"Did you ever think about settling down when you were still in the scouts?"

He cocks an eyebrow at her question. "And leave a widow crying on my grave? I didn't even have the time to date, Petra."

And he didn't even want to date someone else. Not when he kept having wet dreams about his own subordinate at that time.

"Well, you have a chance now, right?" Petra starts to help with laying down the dishes on the table. He looks at her, eyes taking in her body language. She's doing that thing with her hands again where she tries to occupy it with things to do whenever she's nervous. She's too tense for this to be some absent chatter.

"Just spit it out, Petra."

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm always here. In this apartment. Whether I'm back from training or meetings or expeditions," she starts. Levi wheels himself forward to grab their food from the small kitchen but he attentively listens to each of her words. Seeing that he won't be replying, Petra decides to continue.

"I like coming home to you, Levi. And I'm still devoted to you." Petra nervously says, the redness on her cheeks intensifying. Levi feels his heart thump at her last sentence. He stops what he's doing and looks straight into her amber eyes, the same moment as she reaches out to delicately hold both of his hands. "I'd like to continue doing so... if you'll have me in another way."

Bold as ever is the first thing that fondly came to his mind. He feels emotion start to climb up his throat but he never wavers in staring back at her. The next thing that came to mind wasn't exactly a thought, and the answer leaves his mouth with a certainty he didn't know he had.

"Okay," he quietly replies. Not much of a talker, as usual. Still, his sure answer was quite a surprise to the both of them.

Was it loneliness? That fear that he'd most likely die alone because of his automatic ability to push people away? Maybe it's some deep hidden desire to live a domestic life with someone—something that he allowed himself to fleetingly dream of while he was still in that underground hellhole—that he has since accepted wouldn't be in his future.

Until now.

He and Petra decided to have a shotgun wedding that same afternoon.

#rivetra #rivetra fic #rivetra fanfic #levi ackerman #petra ral #rivapeto #levitra #shingeki no kyojin #aot levi #aot petra

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smaidjor · 3 years ago

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and i pay for my place by the ring (Chapter 1)

Hey guys! Welcome to another angsty fic by yours truly, provider of flower husbands pain.

Some things you should know before you jump into this:

1. This is a companion fic to my fic "i know they're losing". You can understand it without having read the other one, since it's the same story from two different POVs but I think the overall experience is better with both!

2. The overall title of each fic is from the mitski song I bet on losing dogs. Chapter titles are from the Last Goodbye from the Hobbit films.

3. There is a lot of lord of the rings lore in both fics, and I mean a lot. You may be kinda confused if you've never read tolkien's works. It will all be explained eventually, though!

4. With the fact that it's a companion fic and a lot of people came here from Jimmy's POV in mind- this is a lot heavier of a fic. The content warnings are heavier and the angst is more intense. You have been warned.

(Obligatory disclaimer that this is about characters, not ccs, and do not ship real people, as always!)

Chapter Title: to these memories i will hold

Chapter Wordcount: 4000

Content warnings: suicidal thoughts, self-esteem issues, panic attacks, past death, very frank discussion of death. (In general, if suicide or death are triggering topics for you, this is probably not the fic for you. Stay safe and take care of yourself!)

AO3

Actual fic under the cut:

Scott didn’t expect to survive 3rd life. No one did, he thinks, but especially not him. Clever, clever Scott, who knew his fate too well for his own good. He could have chosen his allies carefully, he knows, could have played on their emotions to make them think he was loyal until the moment he turned on them to win. He knew who the strongest factions and warriors were, the most cunning and intelligent participants in this death game they were forced into. Instead, he chose Jimmy. Sweet, dopey Jimmy, who had the personality of a golden retriever and only a handful of braincells at any given time. Jimmy, who was worth more than all the stars in the sky to him. Who made him feel alive . No, Scott didn’t expect to win. Not when it was Jimmy by his side- when it was Jimmy by his side, winning didn’t matter. All that mattered was Jimmy’s blush when Scott pressed a kiss to his cheek, the way his hair looked like gold in the sunlight and his smile lit up Scott’s whole world.

After Jimmy died, Scott stopped wanting to survive 3rd life. What was the point? The stars can shine on without the sun, but all life on Earth would wither and die. The same happened to Scott’s broken, bitter heart, he found. Jimmy was the first person in years to love him truly, wholly, with no strings attached; it was terrifying how quickly Scott fell for the first person to look at him and not expect him to be anything but what he was. Scott’s world, which used to be mountain peaks and endless blue sky, narrowed to warm brown eyes and a grin like sunshine quicker than he could comprehend. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, it all came back to him. What was Scott without Jimmy? The unwanted twin, the unloved child, the un-elven elf. Because who cared if he was a good shot with a bow or good at organizing teams or building pretty little houses? He would always be second-born, second-best.

It was fitting, really, that when Scott died, he died alone. Some might find it ironic that the man who knew enough people to fill the roster of a championship held by a god every month died without a single person to witness it save his enemies, but in the end, it was always going to be like this, Scott knew. He hadn’t been there to see Jimmy die, he hadn’t been able to hold him in his final moments and soothe the agony of death. Maybe this was his punishment. He wouldn’t be surprised; the gods of this world did not smile on him and never would. Why should they, when he had failed the only person who had ever found him good enough?

When he woke up in Rivendell, he was almost disappointed. Almost. He considered ditching the rest of the elves, up and leaving to somewhere that didn’t make it feel like the noose of immortality was slowly tightening around his neck. If nothing else, Noxite would let him crash at the MCC server for a bit until he found somewhere to go. And yet, in the end, Scott’s stubborn sense of duty won out. The elves needed a ruler. Xornoth had disappeared to god knows where, and though they had been braver, wiser, better in every way, Scott was the one who had stayed. Who was willing to take up the crown that weighed so heavily on its bearers. So Scott, who no one ever expected to rule, took up the burden of leadership.

Now, he tries and fails to get out of bed and wonders what the point of that even was. He’s fading, and worse than that, he’s fading over a human. His ancestors are probably rolling in their graves. Rivendell will be leaderless within a decade, and this time there are no heirs to take control. Not even a ‘spare’ like Scott used to be. What a mess.

There are footsteps on the stairs. They’re unfamiliar, meaning they could be a threat, but he’s too tired to bother sitting up. If he dies, well- it’s inevitable, really, in the same way watching the mortals he loves dies is.

The person comes around the corner, and Scott realizes with no joy that he won’t be dying today after all. Katherine looks both curious and concerned, but her voice tilts towards the latter when she asks “Scott?” and then, more hesitantly “Lord Smajor?”

He blinks at her, exhausted. “Hi, Katherine.”

“I came to talk to you about some empires stuff, but, I mean, if this is a bad time, I can come back later…?” She sounds so thrown off by his state that Scott almost feels bad.

Whatever it is, it must be important if she’s come all the way here, though, so he gestures her to a chair. “No, no, stay. I can muster the energy for a meeting, just don’t ask me to get up.”

Katherine takes the seat. “I came to talk about the corruption on the server, but- are you okay? Are you sick?”

Nothing about the question is funny in any way, but Scott laughs regardless. “In a way, yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take my hand.” He offers it out, knowing the unnatural cold is unsettling no matter if you’re elven or not. Katherine does as he asks, the concern on her face only growing as she grips his icy hand.

“Elves don’t get sick like mortals do,” Scott explains. “Nor do we die of old age. But we get...heartsickness, you might call it. We call it fading in our tongue- the cold hands are a symptom of that. Our souls are fragile, and the grief of the mortal plane can be overwhelming. If an elf is too struck by it, they fade away and die.” The words taste bitter on his tongue, a frank reminder of the slow and painful death that awaits him.

Katherine gasps, and Scott knows he’s alarmed her.

He goes on, though. “It usually happens to old elves, world-weary.” Ironic, it’s ironic that he’s saying that as a young elf explaining his own death. “Those who are tired of existence. But any elf who has experienced enough grief is at risk.”

Her face is nothing short of horrified. “You’re- fading? But doesn’t it usually happen to old elves? Wait, are you old?”

“I’m fifty-five.”

“Is that old?”

He has to laugh. “Fifty is the elven equivalent of eighteen for humans, the age of maturity.” Though he feels so much older than that, both in elven terms and in human.

“Oh.”

There’s a moment of silence, then, “How can you be so calm if you’re dying?”

“I’m tired, Katherine. The world tore me away from the people I loved, and..I’m tired of fighting it.” He’s so, so exhausted. So sick of having to claw and scrape and struggle for the barest scraps of happiness.

“Is there a way to reverse fading- to fix it?” Katherine sounds so hopeful that the question seems almost naive even though she’s far more capable of a ruler than he is. Naive in the affairs of elves, maybe, much as she’s intelligent in so many other ways.

Scott tries not to flinch at the innocent inquiry, thinking about the deaths from fading that he’s watched. “Technically, yes. If an elf recovers enough emotionally, it’s reversible. But whatever caused them to fade the first time can- and often does- cause it again.” And again, and again, until there’s nothing to be done but let them die , he finishes in his head.

Katherine nods, a look of determination overtaking the hope. “We’ll just have to reverse it, then.”

“That’s sweet, Katherine, but I’m dying.”

“No. You’re not going to die. Now come on, you can show me your empire while I fill you in on what’s happening on the rest of the continent.” She sounds so firm that he doesn’t dare disobey, though his exhaustion makes a fair effort at convincing him to. Will this really fix anything? Unlikely. But it’s worth it to try, if only to humor Katherine. At least this way she’ll have the comfort of having tried to save him when he inevitably fades away into nothing

Scott takes her hand, though it brings him little warmth, cold from her trek here. “Alright.” He swallows the bitter grief in his throat before it can seep into his words. “We can try.”

He leads Katherine around Rivendell, taking some pride in the way she oohs over the decor. If there’s one thing he can do right, it’s building. While some elven rulers might see it as below themselves to help build houses for their citizens, Scott finds building soothing. It’s one of the few skills he picked up during his time away that people really appreciate; no one wants to live in a shitty house.

As they walk, she also tells Scott about the demon, Xornoth. “The demon’s already visited a lot of people, I think. Gem and Shubble for sure, and Fwhip and Sausage. That’s not even mentioning the corruption that’s been spreading.”

If Scott said that the name Xornoth didn’t make him flinch, he would be lying to himself. It’s not your sibling , he tells himself. It’s just a coincidence .

It’s through the virtue of years of lying that his voice comes out steady. “There’s corruption in Rivendell too. Likely Xornoth’s work. And given that Jimmy still has Vilya-” his heart doesn’t ache when he says Jimmy’s name, it doesn’t- “well, I haven’t been able to do much.”

“Vilya?” Katherine asks.

“A ring of power. My inheritance from the Noldor.”

“Why does Jimmy have it?”

He doesn’t answer. He won’t- can’t talk about Jimmy, not without remembering how he looked with an arrow through his throat, bright smile gone and face frozen in fear. How does he explain how much Jimmy meant to him? How much he’s now giving up, knowing he’ll have to lose it one way or another?

Katherine drops the topic, seemingly sensing that she’s stumbled on something sensitive. When she has to go home, she leaves with a friendly goodbye and a promise to visit, and Scott believes neither. Who would put the effort into visiting him? He’s not a good friend, he’s not a good king, and god knows he’s not a good husband. In fact, he’s actively avoiding his husband. He may have kept the pufferfish Jimmy gave him, but that doesn’t mean anything. He can’t fall in love with Jimmy again. Loving Jimmy will kill him. (Scott ignores the small voice at the back of his head that whispers that he’s still in love with Jimmy and it’s already killing him just as he always knew it would.)

To his surprise, Katherine does come back next week, and the week after that. He’s ashamed to admit it, but there’s some part of him that’s pathetically grateful when she shows up at his doorstep. It’s a chance to not be alone . Much as he dreads the day when she finally gives up on him, it’s nice that someone cares enough to try and save him from himself.

The third week, Katherine doesn’t show up. Instead, the footsteps on the stairs are familiar in a way that makes Scott’s heart twist painfully.

He takes a deep breath. “Hello, Jimmy.”

“How’d you know it was me?” Jimmy asks. Scott can tell he’s startled by the way his voice goes up, almost frightened.

Scott steels himself, taking a deep breath before rolling over to face his ex-husband. “Do you think I could ever forget the sound of your footsteps?” He forces himself to not get distracted staring at Jimmy, instead going on before Jimmy can open his mouth. “What are you doing here?”

“Katherine asked me to visit, I’m not sure why, but...here I am. Say, why is she visiting every week?” Jimmy’s so curious. So naive, as always.

Scott laughs, bitter. “Katherine thinks she can save me.”

“Save you from what?”

Scott hears the concern in Jimmy’s words, and he can’t bring himself to break the news. It’s not as if it matters. It’s not as if Jimmy would care; he came here because of Katherine. Maybe he cared at the start of Empires, but Scott’s been nothing but rude to him since. There’s no reason for him to care. (He cares. Scott’s lying, like always. Jimmy cares and Scott knows it.)

“Save you from what?” Jimmy asks again, more insistently.

He refuses to say it. He needs Jimmy out, out of his room and out of his life before he does something he’ll regret. “You should go.” To prove his point, he tries to stand, finding himself too dizzy to quite pull it off. Jimmy rushes to catch him, and Scott hates himself just a little for how that still gives him a warm feeling.

“Scott, what is going on?”

He brushes Jimmy off, letting go of his arm and hurrying for the stairs. He can’t let Jimmy work his way into his heart again; Scott won’t be strong enough to let him go this time.

“Scott, seriously! Answer me, are you okay? What’s happening?” Jimmy sounds almost angry, but Scott can hear the distress under it and that’s what breaks him.

“I’m fading, alright?” His voice nearly breaks at the concern on Jimmy’s face when he whirls to face him. “I’m dying, now leave me alone!”

Jimmy sputters, seemingly caught off guard. “You- what- but elves don’t die, right?”

“We do. From poison, from swords-” Scott thinks back to third life- “from arrows through the throat, from grief.” The words come out more raw than he intends, leaving him scrambling to recover his composure. He takes a deep breath in and out, forcing his voice to steady again. “Come on. If you’re not going to leave, I might as well show you around.”

“You can’t just drop something like that on a man, you know!” Jimmy calls after him, although Scott can hear his footsteps following as well.

“You did ask, to be fair.” Scott replies. His voice is calm. He’s fine.

“I guess so, but- but still, dude.”

Scott pushes open the side door, holding it for Jimmy. “Here.”

Jimmy nods and slips through the door. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Scott starts towards the bridges, intending to show Jimmy the enchanting tower and then the door. He doesn’t care about how fast he’s walking, Jimmy can keep up. He’s taller than Scott and probably has better balance at the moment too. Scott’s struggling not to fall, honestly, but his pride won’t let him go slower.

Jimmy breaks the awkward silence with the question Scott least wants to hear. “So, uh..are we going to talk about 3rd life?”

“No,” Scott says firmly.

“Why not? We need to talk about it some time-”

“I said no .” He can’t talk about it.

“It’s literally killing you to not talk about it!”

The words strike right at the raw wound of Jimmy’s death, and Scott freezes. Inhales. Exhales. Tries to keep calm.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Scott!” Jimmy cries. He sounds so upset, Scott’s heart aches. “I dare you, tell me I’m wrong! Tell me you never cared about me, tell me you didn’t bother to bury me, tell me it didn’t hurt even a little when I died! Tell me I was just stupid little Jimmy, a toy for an elf who’d live far beyond my lifespan! Tell me whatever, just tell me the truth! ”

Scott takes a deep breath. “Fine. You want to know what happened after you died?” He can’t think straight through the rage clouding his head, the desperate need to prove that Jimmy’s wrong , that Scott loved him so much it’s killing him. “You want to hear about me screaming until my throat went raw? You want to know that I kissed your face and sobbed and begged you to wake up, over and over until I couldn’t speak at all? You want to live with the knowledge that Grian had to physically pull me away from your body? Is that what you want to hear, Jimmy? ” His voice damn near breaks on his husband’s name, and Scott thanks the gods he stopped believing in a long time ago that it doesn’t.

“No,” Jimmy says. His voice is soft, gentle, almost as if Scott is a wounded animal that needs a delicate touch. “That’s not what I want to hear, not at all. I’d rather you be happy than love me.”

The words punch the air from Scott’s lungs, raw and soft and real. Scott is an excellent liar. Jimmy isn’t. Scott knows that Jimmy is telling the truth. What he doesn’t know is how to handle that level of devotion. He wonders again how Jimmy- sweet, genuine Jimmy who wears his heart on his sleeve and is hopelessly devoted to an elf who can’t be fully his- chose Scott of all people. Scott, who’s as bitter as Jimmy is sweet, who’s sarcastic and snarky and hasn’t been good enough for just about anything in his life. He certainly wasn’t good enough to save Jimmy, Scott thinks bitterly.

He shakes off the thought. “I buried you on the hill above our houses. I planted a poppy over your grave.”

“Oh.”

“Grian came over the next day. I didn’t want to see anyone who wasn’t you, but I let him in because I had to. He helped me do the straps on my armor and asked me if he could do anything else to make things easier. I told him to bury me next to you.”

“Did he?”

Scott almost laughs at the innocent question. “How would I know? Grian was honorable enough, though, loyal to his allies. I like to think he did.”

“He was a good guy,” Jimmy agrees. “A little bit bloodthirsty, I guess, but good. I don’t suppose he survived any better than the rest of us, though maybe being bloodthirsty helped.”

“Maybe.”

“Can I- can I ask you why you hate me so much now?” Jimmy’s tone is uncertain, hesitant and it hurts . “I mean, if you mourned me in third life and all.”

Scott looks away from his earnest gaze, but he can’t stop the truth slipping out. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” Jimmy asks, seemingly bewildered. “But you burned the pufferfish-”

“I didn’t. I kept it.” Scott doesn’t want to think about this, wants to say it even less. “I never hated you. I don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding me?”

“I’ve been kind of busy dying,” Scott says wryly, unable to resist a bit of morbid humor at his own expense.

“Scott! That’s not funny!”

“It was a little funny.”

“No!”

Jimmy sounds genuinely distressed, and Scott drops the wry smile. “Jimmy, I’m an elf. I won’t live far beyond you, but only because I’ll fade without you.” It’s a simple statement. The truth, as much as he can give.

“So your solution is to isolate yourself and fade now?” Jimmy’s outrage is justifiable, but Scott just shrugs.

“It does sound stupid when you put it like that, doesn’t it?” It really does. “But I lost you once, and I don’t think I could bear it again.”

A hand lands on Scott’s arm, and he turns, startled. Jimmy doesn’t give him time to react, throwing his arms around Scott and pulling him close. Scott almost lets out a very undignified squeak at the sudden contact, though he slowly relaxes into Jimmy’s hold.

He should pull away. He shouldn’t give Jimmy false hope like this. But Jimmy is so warm , and Scott is so unbearably cold. Every fiber of his being is screaming that this is what’s right; screw Rivendell and obligations and too-heavy crowns, Jimmy is home to him. He’s warm for the first time in months, and the most heartbreaking part is that it can’t last. He can’t do this again.

He pulls away, ignoring the painful hope on Jimmy’s face. “I’m sorry, Jimmy.” For the first time all conversation, his voice well and truly wobbles. “I can’t. Not again.”

“But-”

Scott shakes his head. “Losing you will destroy me. We dared to love, and now all we can do now is lessen the pain when it all comes crashing down.” The words are like glass in his throat, but he forces them out anyways. They have to be said.

Jimmy’s silent, and it hurts more than if Jimmy had yelled at him.

“Goodbye, Jimmy,” Scott manages, turning away before Jimmy can see the way his face twists in pain. He makes his retreat as quickly as possible, stumbling and nearly taking a tumble just before he reaches the door. Unlike before, there’s no helpful ex-husband there to catch him, to make sure he’s alright and ask a million questions until Scott’s forced to admit that he’s not okay and hasn’t been in a long time.

He fumbles with the latch, hands shaking and vision blurring. Finally, it clicks, and Scott stumbles inside and slams the door shut before sliding to the ground. He won’t cry. He won’t . He doesn’t love Jimmy, he can’t love Jimmy anymore. Jimmy was never meant to be his. They might have carved out a few precious moments, stolen them from the universe and giggled like kids with their hands in the cookie jar as they kissed amongst the flowers, but those brief moments were all they were ever going to be allowed. It was always going to end this way, Scott tells himself. There’s no use crying over a mortal who will be dead in the blink of an eye to an elf. What would his parents say? That this was typical of him, probably. Typical Scott, always wanting what he would never be able to have. Typical, predictable Scott, loving a mortal who shouldn’t be worth anything to him.

He’s crying. There are tears spotting his cyan robes, splashing onto the wood floors he worked so hard on. Scott rubs at his eyes furiously, but that only makes it worse, sobs shuddering through him and leaving him hollow and aching. He’s so cold . The ache in his chest has returned tenfold, stealing away his breath, and he curls further into himself, struggling for air.

He’s going to die. He is going to die , alone on the floor of his house because he fell for someone he couldn’t have. For all that he’s spent every minute since Jimmy’s death in 3rd life wishing for some way out of this cruel world, he’s terrified now that it seems inevitable. He’s scared in a way he hasn’t been in forever, breath coming quick and shallow. He's scared, and he is so, so tired of this ache that haunts him, the chill that he can never get rid of.

“Jimmy,” Scott whispers. There’s no way for the human to hear him, but the name brings him some comfort. “ Jimmy .” He wants his husband. He wants someone to hug him. He doesn’t want to fade away freezing and alone, no one there to hold his hand or reassure him that the pain will be over soon. Internally, he begs for someone, anyone who cares to come looking. To find him, even if they’re too late to save him. Someone. Anyone. Please.

No one comes, and Scott lays on his floor until his breathing steadies out again. His head spins when he forces himself to his feet, and he has to lean against the wall for a few moments. There’s no time for dramatics, he tells himself sternly. He has a kingdom to rule. He cannot afford to break over a mortal he never should have fallen for in the first place. He doesn’t love Jimmy anymore, he can’t .

(He’s lying. But Scott has always been an excellent liar, even when it’s to himself.)

#scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #empires smp #i maintag my fic because i dont fear god or scott smajor #my writing

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maplecornia · 3 years ago

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Namjoon

𝔞/𝔫: this will be in Namjoon's POV

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.85K

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

My hands flying across the keyboard, I have no room to think about anyone or anything else other than my work. I have no intention to think about anything else.

I've heard it said that there are those with a wasteland in their minds. They are constantly searching for something to give their life meaning, but everything they find isn't good enough. They are constantly trying to break the last record, find a new tune, discover another song to play in their hearts. They can never rest, they never want to rest for if they did they would lose their minds.

Pulling away from the board, I find that I'm shaking. My eyesight is wavering, I can't even think straight.

Am I the same as those lost?

Sighing, I hold my head in my hands.

What am I doing? I have no time to be worrying over things that don't matter. My gaze drifting, I notice a coffee cup on the table beside me, along with a small bag of snacks resting against it. Mildly amused, I stand to investigate, and find a note tied around the bag. Pulling on it, I blink in surprise at the neat but shaky Hangul written there.

Namjoon, I'm not too good at writing in Korean just yet so I hope that this is understandable.

This is a coffee cup, but if you need some water or an energy drink, I placed some beside your bag. This is a little bag of leftover snacks I found at the vending machine.

I'm sorry I couldn't find something better than this, but I hope it's enough for a small pick me up.

Please remember to get some rest tonight, I don't want you working too hard.

-Yen

I don't realize I'm crying until a tear runs from my cheek and lands on the small slip of paper. Surprised, I frantically dry the tear from the paper before holding it close to my chest as though it were my only comfort. The tears continue to run down my face, and I fall to the floor almost sobbing as unexplainable emotions surge through my body. Too fast and too many at once for me to be able to understand.

"Why...why are you so kind?"

Does she even realize the effect she has on my heart? The way she tears and turns it as though it were nothing? She doesn't even have to think twice about her actions. She doesn't do these things to gain something from me, in fact, she expects nothing, and yet...

She makes me want to give her the world.

"What are you talking about?"

Jaejin smiles at the question, almost as though he were dealing with a child who didn't want to let go of their parents on his first day of school. Scoffing almost, I fold my arms in indignation. Since when was I the child in this relationship?

"It's quite simple hyung, I'm going to be away for a couple of months. It's not that big of a deal."

"Not a big deal?!" Reaching forward, I stop him from packing. He looks up at me, a bit surprised. "Jaejin, need I remind you of your position? You can't just leave whenever you see fit. There are policies, systems set in place, responsibilities you have to uphold."

Jaejin rolls his eyes before politely removing my hand from his stuff.

"Namjoon, you didn't think I knew? I've already taken care of everything."

As he pulls away, rummaging in his desk for a pen and sticky note, I stare at him dumbfounded. He's leaving, isn't he? Just when I've come back, now one of my closest and most trusted friends is leaving me behind. Scolding myself, I try to push the feeling of being betrayed to the back of my mind.

Jaejin has a right to pursue his dreams, I shouldn't hold him back. This isn't something to be upset over, I should be happy for him, I should support his decision.

But I don't want to say goodbye.

He must've noticed my expression, for when he next speaks, I can tell his words were meant to comfort me.

"You know, you're going to love Yen."

"Yen?"

"That's the person coming in to replace me."

I stare at him, not wanting to believe his words. He's having someone come in to replace him as my manager? How can he expect someone I don't even know to replace him at my side? Just how long is he planning to stay away?

Almost sensing my discomfort, Jaejin turns to me and places his hand on my shoulder. "There's no reason to worry. Yen will do an amazing job, okay?"

"How can you be so sure?"

At my question, he gets this faraway look in his eye and beckons for me to join him as he settles down in one of the chairs set up at his desk.

"Yen is someone special, you'll probably notice that as you get to know her." I open my mouth to ask him how, but he holds his hand up, already foreseeing my immediate response. I roll my eyes at the gesture, understanding his point and shutting up.

"I'm not just saying this as her friend, she's someone who I think will help you a lot. Though she might not think she's qualified for the job, and she may doubt herself every second of the way, she will try her hardest to be the best she can be." Watching him talk about her, almost as though she were the thing he treasured the most on earth, both confuses and intrigues me. What is she, perfect? No person is, so what's the difference with her?

"Yen is the kind of person who speaks to others through their emotions. She knows when you're sad, angry, tired, she can see it all through a few gestures. With a simple look your way it's as though she can see all the hidden secrets of your soul." In his wistful eyes, I wonder about the history between the two of them. Missed chances, unspoken words, regrets, do they have any of those? The way he talks about her, I don't think they are merely just friends.

"My point is, she'll take care of you. You don't ever have to be afraid of losing yourself when she's around, because she'll always bring you back."

Holding the note in my hands now, the way it feels almost as though she were there right beside me, holding me as I shake from all the built-up pain and frustration, I realize that Jae is right.

She's always there, helping me, supporting me. She gave me a reason to continue, she showed me that I didn't have to take care of everyone all the time. She reassured me that I wasn't alone, that she would stay beside me no matter what happened.

"Your music changes with you, don't you know?"

As she sits across from me, her wide eyes piercing mine with their deep stare, I try to make some sense of her words. Yes, I understand that music changes, but what does that have to do with me and my struggles? I'm afraid I don't love making music anymore, and this is what she responds with?

She smiles almost understandingly at my perplexed expression, and I quickly hide it, unaware I was being so obvious.

"Namjoon, maybe the reason why you feel so trapped is not that you don't love music anymore, but rather because you're trying to recreate something from the past." My eyes widening at the thought, I pull away from the soundboard. Was that what I was doing? Trying to recreate a past sound when the sound inside has already changed?

"Music grows as you grow, it flourishes the same way. Maybe in order to find yourself again, you have to let go of what your music used to be." Turning to her, somehow I know she sees the pain and the fear reflected in my eyes.

What if who I am now isn't good enough? What if this person isn't worthy of his title? What if I've become what I've always been afraid of?

Nothing.

Reaching forward, she takes my hand into her small ones and smiles warmly my way. A smile meant to calm me down, a gesture meant to calm the storm that threatens to rise in my chest.

"That doesn't mean you have to forget, it doesn't mean you have to say goodbye. It just means you have to move on, and grow as you've done before. If there's one thing I know, it's that you are good enough. You are worthy of their love, you are worthy of everything you have ever accomplished."

She smiles somewhat cockily as her eyes locked with mine, almost making me forget my doubt.

"Now, you just have to prove it to them once more."

She taught me what I was doing this for, reminded me why I love music, why I chose this path. It was her light, her passion that showed me the way.

Raising myself off of the ground, and pocketing the note, I turn back to the computer. Back to my work. Wiping my tears, I sit down taking a deep breath before resuming.

I won't let her down.

note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAMJOON! I hope you have a great birthday, and continue to be the amazing leader you have been for the longest time! I'm looking forward to the day where we can see you again.

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

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hookedonapirate · 4 years ago

Text

Through the Rising Tide

Thank you so much for the beautiful graphic @itsfabianadocarmo!

Summary: The Jones brothers are polar opposites. Liam's the safe and honorable one, straight-laced and straight as an arrow. The good son.

Killian's the dangerous one, the bad boy with tats, leather jackets, a motorcycle and a questionable past.

The only things they have in common are panty-melting sea-blue eyes, the flat they share in Storybrooke and a rare blood type.

Oh, and apparently their taste in women.

Or rather, one woman.

Feisty.

Blonde.

Gorgeous.

Green-eyed Goddess.

Killian saw her first, but she chose his brother—the nice guy over the playboy. And even though she’s dating his brother, it doesn't make him want her any less. If that's not bad enough, she moves in with them and he has to pretend he's not completely in love with her. His life could not get any worse…

Until Liam dies in a tragic motorcycle accident.

Leaving each of them with one half of a broken heart.

Now Killian and Emma are left helping each other pick up the pieces.

Just as they're beginning to learn how to live in their new reality, another riptide pulls them further into the deep end when she finds out she's pregnant with Liam's baby.

Notes:

Starts out as Jewelled Swan. Don’t like, don’t read!

Thank you @ultraluckycatnd for looking it over!

This story was inspired by Baby Mine by Kennedy Fox, and I loved the book so much and thought it was very much underrated. I’ve wanted to write a fic like this for a long time now because it’s one of my favorite tropes, but after I read that book, I just had to write my own take.

The title comes from the lyrics of the song, Lay By Me by Ruben. The particular line goes like this:

"I hope you know through the rising tide

That I'll be here and you can lay by my side"

If you've never heard it, I recommend giving it a listen. It's an amazing song and very fitting for this story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFJbLzEtoZw

P.S. In case you're unable to read the shoulder tattoo in the picture above and are wondering what it says—

"There is no happiness without tears

No life without death

And no true love without heartbreak"

Rated: Explicit for smut (including sexual fantasies, masturbation, implied and detailed sex, etc.) and language (lots of F-bombs).

Also available on: AO3 FF.N

Catch up: Ch 1 // Ch 2 //

Chapter 3

One Year Later…

With a sleepy groan, Emma shoots out her hand to silence the loud, annoying noise coming from her phone. “Ugh…” She drops the device on the nightstand and retreats underneath the covers, not ready to get up yet. She’s never ready to get up in the morning. She rolls over to her other side, seeking warmth from the body lying next to her. She wraps her arms around his torso and buries her face in his chest, not wanting to leave him. But she has to get ready for work. She hates the thought of leaving his arms, though. They fit so well together like this, like two puzzle pieces.

She knows the longer she lies here like this, though, the stronger the urge to stay will be. She attempts to force herself out of bed. She kisses her sleeping boyfriend’s forehead and starts to get up. His strong arms pull her back to him, his hands latching onto her hips, pulling her on top of him so she’s straddling him. Emma emits a sleepy moan when she feels his thickness pressed against her core.

“Where do you think you’re going, love?” he asks, his voice groggy with sleep as he wraps his arms around her to ensure she won’t leave him.

“I have to go to work,” she groans, clearly not happy about it. When he tightens his arms around her, she wiggles in his hold and laughs, trying to free herself, but honestly, she’s not trying very hard.

He caresses her cheek and pulls her in for a lazy kiss, his tongue sweeping into her mouth to taste her. She moans against his lips, her body tingling and molding to his as she rocks slightly against him, her arousal coating his hard length as he arches his hips into her, seeking more friction. Friction she desperately wants to give him.

But as much as she wants to get caught up in the kiss, in the effect he has on her, as much as she wants to just give herself to him and ride him into the next world, she really has to get up and go to work. She breaks the kiss, as painful and difficult as it is. “Babe, you’re not making it easy,” she says breathlessly.

He pouts as he looks up at her, his crystal blue eyes boring into her green ones, not making this any easier. No, the way he’s looking at her right now makes it ten times harder.

“Sure you don’t have time for a quickie?” he begs, releasing a small groan of desperation as he palms her naked breast, brushing the pad of his thumb over her nipple, making it hard.

“Babe, if you make me late—” Her pleas are instantly silenced when he moves his hands to her ass and squeezes, pressing her more firmly against him.

He flashes a devilish smirk, one tainted with mischief that she only witnesses when they’re either talking about sex, having sex or about to have sex. “Then I’ll get to fuck you for the next hour.”

Emma had actually planned on getting up, but when she feels Liam’s lips on her neck and his teeth nibbling her skin, when she feels the head of his cock at her entrance, all bets are off. A moan tumbles from her lips and soon, Liam is grabbing her hips and sliding into her. Emma sits up, placing her hands on his chest in total submission and rocks her hips back and forth, eager to have him completely buried inside of her.

“Oh, fuck, Emma. . .”

He reaches for her breasts again and squeezes as she rides his dick. She’s so glad she’d set her alarm clock fifteen minutes early like she always does because she knows nine times out of ten, she’ll let Liam get his way. It's their morning routine.

But she can’t help it. Her boyfriend is so irresistible. The way he flips her over, sending Emma to her back, the way he pounds into her so rough and hard like he can never get enough of her. The way he kisses her so deeply and passionately, making her head spin. The expression on his face as her walls grip his cock, the way he groans, setting her skin ablaze. And the way he’s kissing her after it’s over, both of them breathless. When he pulls out, the way he kisses every inch of her on his way to her satisfied core, his cum dripping from her entrance as she combs her fingers through his curly brown hair. The way he laps up both of their orgasms from her cunt until her walls are fluttering around his tongue. She can’t help but give in to all of it.

Emma’s fingers clench around his hair as she screams through another incredible orgasm. “Fuck… Liam!”

And once she's able to reassemble herself and jump out of bed before he can talk her into cuddling or going for another round, she immediately hates having to leave him. But now she must.

Emma throws on some clothes, making sure she’s dressed appropriately in case she runs into her other roommate as she heads to the bathroom. The big, blissful smile plastered on her face instantly vanishes, though, her nose scrunching in disapproval when she steps on something and looks down, spotting a red, lacey thong on the floor outside Killian’s bedroom. A thong that is not her own.

What the actual fuck?

She grimaces and kicks the fabric aside like it’s contaminated with a deadly virus. She’s not surprised though. Disgusted, yes, but not surprised. Killian is always bringing a different woman home with him, and she and Liam always have to hear the noises coming from his bedroom. Therefore, they never feel bad when they’re going at it in their bedroom, and don’t even bother being quiet.

Sometimes she thinks the two brothers are engaging in some sort of weird contest, trying to see who can make the woman they’re with scream the loudest. She gathers it’s a pissing contest between the two brothers to see who’s the better bloke in the sack or to see who has the bigger cock. So Emma always makes sure she’s extra loud to let Killian know just how good his brother is in the sack. And so far, none of the women Killian’s brought to his bed have outmatched her.

Emma grins at the thought as she continues to the bathroom to relieve her bladder. She also thinks about how much things have changed since she came here to Storybrooke. She’d never meant to start a relationship with Liam, or anyone for that matter, when she’d ran into him outside his bar the night they’d met. They had exchanged phone numbers and he’d asked her out the next day, to which she’d reluctantly accepted. She was reluctant, not because she wasn't attracted to him—because God, she was—but because she still had a strong fortress surrounding her heart from when Neal had shattered it to pieces. But when she’d learned Liam too was cheated on by an ex, they had bonded over their heartaches, and she thought they could help each other heal. But they did so much more than that.

Emma fell for Liam and she fell hard. He’s much like a teddy bear, only soft on the inside, not the outside. He’s kind and loving and warm and best of all, he makes her laugh. When she’d discovered how good he was in bed on top of all his amazing qualities, she thought he was too good to be true. He seemed like the total package. He is the total package. But still, she’d kept waiting for the other shoe to drop; it never did, though. Or at least, it hasn’t dropped. yet.

Once she's under the shower stream, she’s wetting her hair and singing the first song that comes to mind. Titanium by David Guetta.

“You shout it out, but I can’t hear a word you say. . .”

After nine years, she still sings this damn song. But it’s so perfect for the shower because the lyrics are ones she can easily belt out, the words echoing beautifully off the bathroom walls.

She’s been singing in the shower since she was eight years old. Her brother would always pound on the bathroom door when she was taking a shower, and yell for her to stop. It was like that when they lived in the same house growing up and it was like that after she moved in with him and Mary Margaret. She has to admit, she misses annoying the hell out of her brother.

Bang, bang, bang.

“Would you stop your bloody awful singing?!" Killian shouts through the door. “Some people are actually trying to sleep around here!”

Now that she lives with Liam, she has his pain in the ass brother to annoy. As fun as that is, it’s not really the same.

Emma doesn’t stop though. Instead, she grins to herself and lathers shampoo into her hair, closing her eyes as she makes sure to sing even louder and more obnoxious.

“You criticize, but all your bullets ricochet. Shoot me down, but I get up. . .”

Ever since she moved in with her boyfriend eight months ago, Killian has been a pesky thorn in her side. He’s been nothing but a nuisance. From leaving his dirty dishes in the sink to sleeping with a different woman almost every night to pissing her off every chance he gets. He’s always trying to bring her down, always finding new ways to push her buttons. She’s not sure exactly why it all started. Maybe because he’s held a grudge against her since she chose his brother over him. Or maybe because he thinks she’s trying to steal his brother away from him. But either way, she’s not giving him the satisfaction of letting him get to her. Or at least letting him know he gets to her.

Emma starts shouting out the lyrics, each word louder than the previous one, purposely trying to get a rise out of him, just like he always does to her.

“Shoot me down, but I won’t fall! I am Tit-aaaaan-iiiiiiiuuuuuum! Shoot me down, but I won’t—”

The whine of the faucet interrupts her, and suddenly she's shivering, no longer feeling the hot water spraying her skin. What the fuck? One second she's rinsing her hair and the next, the bathroom door is slamming shut and she’s just standing there in the bathtub with shampoo dripping down her face and no water to rinse it out with.

That damn bastard turned off the shower!

“What the hell?!” she screeches, her words garbled when the shampoo drips into her mouth. She spits it out and spins around, blindly reaching for the towel on the rack, yanking it off the bar and wiping her face with it. “You asshole!”

She steps out of the tub, blood bubbling under her skin as she wraps the towel around her body. Okay, pounding on the bathroom door is one thing, but shutting off the water while she’s taking a shower is a whole different level of asshole for Killian Jones! And she won’t stand for it. She’s not letting him get away with this.

She marches out of the bathroom and down the hall, leaving a dripping wet trail of soapy water behind her. But she doesn’t give a fuck at the moment. She rips his door open and storms into his room without any sort of grace. She hurries over to his alarm clock, which he leaves on his dresser across the room so he'll have to get up to turn it off. He does it so he won’t be tempted to hit the snooze button and fall back asleep.

Killian’s in his bed with the covers over his head as Emma turns on the music and cranks up the volume. She immediately spins around and scurries out of his room, her heart hammering in her chest, but when she makes it to the doorway, she can feel his hand gripping her arm as he turns her around and presses her firmly against the wall, just outside his door.

She loses her breath.

He doesn’t say anything at all; he just stares at her, a mixture of emotions written all over his face. She can’t tell if he’s pissed or irritated, or if the look on his face is just pure hatred for her. Or if it’s something else entirely.

Emma loses a breath when he closes the gap between them until their bodies are pressed together, his face inches from hers. He still doesn’t murmur a word, just stares at her.

She gulps when his eyes flicker over her face, and it almost seems like he’s going to. . .

No, no, no, that can’t be. She knows for a fact she’s just imagining things, because Killian would never try to kiss her. Not only because his brother is dating her, but because he hates her with every fiber of his being; he’s never said it out loud, but she knows deep down he does.

Killian’s still staring at her and she’s so stunned in her spot, she can’t even move. As his eyes move to her lips, she swears she stops breathing, her heart pounding in her ear. He hasn’t looked at her with anything apart from hatred since the night they met.

He quickly amends his stare, his eyes snapping to hers, regret clouding his face. “I’m sorry,” he whispers huskily and releases her, dashing to his room and slamming the door behind him.

What the hell was that?

He may have been able to move, but she feels like she’s superglued to the wall. She can still feel his palms on her wrists like he’s still pinning her, but he’s not.

“What the bloody hell was all that racket?”

The sound of Liam’s voice makes her heart jump into her throat, and she has to peel herself from the wall. When she does, she feels a million times lighter. She blows out a long breath. A breath she feels like she’s been holding this whole time. She turns to Liam and gets on her tiptoes as she wraps her arms around the back of his neck, kissing him chastely on the lips. “Nothing, babe, it was just your annoying brother hollering at me for singing again and telling me how awful of a singer I am.”

“Don’t listen to him. You sing beautifully,” Liam assures her sweetly, kissing the tip of her nose. “I love your singing.”

Emma smiles at his compliments, but her face twists at the memories of Killian turning off the water on her. “I never do listen to him, but that asshole shut off the shower on me while I was in there. And I had shampoo in my hair and it got in my eyes and mouth.”

She can see the anger spiraling through her boyfriend, his features appalled. “He did what?!” Liam lunges toward Killian’s door, but Emma moves in front of him and places her hands on his chest to stop him.

“It’s fine. I got him back.” She smirks. “I turned on his music and cranked up the volume.

“I know, I could hear everything,” he grumbles, his eyes focused on Killian’s door. Emma’s still standing in front of him so he won’t go charging in there, but he manages to pound on the door. “What the fuck, Killian?! You don’t go into the bathroom while Emma’s using it! She lives here, too, you wanker!”

“I already told her I was sorry!” he calls through the door.

Emma furrows her brows. She thought Killian had said he was sorry for pinning her against the wall and almost kissing her. Or at least, that’s what it seemed like.

“Sorry, love,” Liam murmurs, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead. “My brother’s a pompous arse sometimes.”

She can’t disagree with that. This is far from the first time Killian’s been a jerk to her and it won’t be the last. She wishes she and Liam could get a place of their own. What she wouldn’t give to be able to get up in the morning and prance around the apartment half-naked, or even naked if she so chose to be, not having to worry about annoying roommates who only stir up trouble and tell her she’s an awful singer. She knows her boyfriend wants to be close to his brother, but still, how does Liam not get sick of Killian’s shit?

“It’s fine,” she assures him, looking up into his warm blue eyes. “I just can’t wait until we get a place of our own. Just you and me.”

A serene smile stretches over Liam’s lips as he gazes into her eyes and caresses her cheek. “I can’t wait either, baby.” He turns her toward the wall, pressing her back against it, much like Killian had done a few moments ago. Emma moans when she feels Liam’s thickness digging into her thigh. “Then I would get to fuck you whenever I wanted without worrying about my little brother pounding on the wall, telling us to stop.” He lifts her up and she instinctively wraps her legs around his waist as he buries his face in the crook of her neck and gives her a few gentle thrusts. Emma tilts her head back and moans, loving the way his cock feels pressed against her center. He’s wearing boxers, but she can still feel every inch of him.

“That would be amazing,” she murmurs breathlessly as he leaves a trail of kisses down her neck.

“But it might not be such a good idea because then I would never want to leave. I’d want to stay home and make love to you all day.”

Emma laughs as his words vibrate against her skin. “You’re insatiable.”

“Can’t help it, love. You’re so bloody gorgeous and perfect. And when you have something rare and precious, you hold onto it and never let it go.”

Emma’s heart warms, a blissful smile curving her lips. Liam’s sweet lines, no matter how cheesy or sappy, are just some of the reasons why she fell in love with him. He always knows what to say to make her feel special. Emma fists her hands in his hair and pulls his face to hers, capturing his lips for a heated kiss.

Killian’s bedroom door opens, and he barges through the hallway, bursting their cozy, quiet bubble. “I can’t wait for you two to get your own place either. Then I won’t have to hear you two fucking every goddamn second of the day,” he grumbles as he marches down the hall.

“Oh, like we’ve never heard you fucking one of your many conquests!” Emma hollers after him.

“Whatever, I’m taking a shower. I’m late for work and you’re taking too damn long.”

Emma’s eyes widen when he disappears into the bathroom, and she releases herself from Liam’s hold and follows Killian, but before she can stop him, he slams the door in her face.

She’s seeing red as she wiggles the knob and is even more pissed when it’s locked. “You asshole! I have to rinse the shampoo out of my hair since you shut off my shower before I could!”

He answers by turning on his heavy metal music.

Emma lets out a frustrated scream and pounds on the door. So much for being at work on time today.

She’s fucking pissed and about to kick the door, but Liam’s warm arms instantly put her at ease.

“Come on, baby, don’t let him get under your skin. Let me make you breakfast while you wait for the shower.”

Emma relents and goes to her room to grab her bathrobe. She rinses her hair off in the kitchen sink as Liam starts the coffee.

~*~

Killian’s still cursing to himself when Emma’s in the shower for the second time that morning. He tugs on his shirt, hating himself for what he’d done earlier in the hallway. He never should’ve pinned her against the wall and almost kissed the bloody hell out of her, but he’d reacted before he could control himself.

When he had pressed her into the wall, she was standing there, dripping wet in nothing but a towel. He can still see the wet spots on the carpet where her hair had dripped to the floor—in his bedroom when she marched in here to turn on his music and outside his door. He’d damn near drooled when he gazed upon the soft swell of her slick breasts, and couldn’t help but notice her pebbled nipples underneath the thin cotton. He could feel her taut nipples against his chest when he pressed himself into her. She was so fucking sexy, and he wanted to pick her up and carry her to his room and have his way with her. Or seeing that she was naked underneath the towel, he wanted to lift her up and just take her there against the wall. It would have been so easy to slide inside of her and just fuck her senseless. Neither of those scenarios was an option, obviously.

Killian sits on the edge of his bed, sighing into his hands. As much as he pretends to and wishes he actually hated her, he’s unfortunately in love with her. After he found her in his kitchen wearing Liam’s shirt a year ago, he did everything he could to forget about her. He's tried sleeping with other women, he still tries that method, but it never bloody works. It only makes him wish those women were Emma. It makes him want her more. It makes him feel more lonely than he already is.

Maybe he would've been able to forget about her if she hadn't kept showing up here. And it was bad enough when she and Liam had their sleepovers all the time, but then she moved in eight months ago because she was sick of living with her brother, and Liam was sick of not waking up next to Emma every morning.

Killian hates living here with Liam and Emma. He hates having to hear them fuck in the bedroom next to his; he hates having to hear them speak to each other like they’re so fucking in love. It makes him sick.

He hates having to witness every milestone in their relationship. He had to listen every time Liam went on about how he was falling for Emma and how she was his soulmate. He had to hear about it when Liam told him he had finally professed his love for her; he had to hear about it when Liam said he could no longer stand living without her, and how he wanted to ask her to move in with him. Liam sought Killian's approval, which he reluctantly gave, and had to hear about Emma’s reaction and how excited she was when she said yes.

Killian’s had to listen to every conversation Liam and Emma have had when they’re all home at the same time, he’s had to watch them feed each other, he’s had to witness one of them going into the kitchen, grabbing a can of Reddi Whip and heading back to their room countless times. For the past year, he’s had a front-row seat to Liam’s and Emma’s relationship, and he’s hated every fucking second of it.

In the beginning, Killian had hoped their relationship would be temporary. Emma had been cheated on, too, just like Liam, so they had that in common and it was something they bonded over in the beginning. Killian thought they both just needed to cleanse themselves from their cheating exes, and that they were using each other to do that, but nope. What they had in the beginning went beyond helping each other heal. And Killian can’t blame his brother for wanting something more with Emma. She’s the whole fucking package and Killian knows this just as well as Liam does. It’s the reason why Killian hasn’t been able to tame his feelings for her, even though he knows she’s completely off-limits.

He’s happy for Liam, he really is. He’s glad Liam found someone as amazing as Emma. He’s glad Liam is happy. He just wishes he’d never met her at the bar that night. He wishes he’d never set his sights on her so that maybe then he wouldn’t be pining for his brother’s girlfriend. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so head over heels for her. But then again, maybe he would still feel the same way about her, no matter how or when he met her.

Maybe it’s his fault though. He knows his feelings for her would be so much easier to deal with if he didn’t live with her.

There have been so many times he told himself he was finding another place to live, but at the end of the day, he talked himself out of it because why should he leave? This was his apartment long before Liam even met Emma. Hell, this was Killian’s apartment before Liam moved in with him.

Killian moved here after he graduated from high school and his first roommate wouldn’t leave after not paying his share of the rent for six months. Killian could have gone to court, filled out the paperwork and served him with an eviction notice, which would’ve given his roommate a month to move out. But Killian had another idea in mind that would speed up the process, and all he had to do was beg Liam to go along with it. He got the idea from watching an episode of Friends. The One Where Eddie Won't Go. Chandler couldn’t get his annoying, nut job of a roommate to leave, so when Eddie returns to the apartment the next day, the lock on the door has been changed, Chandler and Joey pretend they don’t know Eddie and they act as though Joey never left.

So Killian had something similar in mind. Liam showed up at his apartment and went into the roommate’s bedroom. Together, they gathered his things and started moving them to the front lawn. When the roommate returned later that day, the locks had been changed and Killian opened the door after he heard the incessant pounding and pretended he didn’t remember having another roommate besides his brother. When the guy refused to leave, Liam stood at the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, and his intimidating height and size compared to the scrawny, short lad who stood in the hallway, finally left with his tail between his legs.

When Liam went back to his and his girlfriend’s flat that night, he walked in on her while she was banging some other guy in the bed they shared. Not wanting to be reminded of what he’d witnessed when he slept in his bed every night, he’s the one who left and never came back. Liam and Killian have lived together in this flat ever since then. And they never heard from Killian’s old roommate ever again.

So, why should Killian be the one to leave?

Then again, if he stays, his feelings for Emma might become even more difficult to shake off.

Right, like he could shake them off. If he could, then he would’ve done that long ago.

~*~

“Killian, can I talk to you for a moment?” Liam asks the next day when he steps into the apartment, shutting the door behind him. It’s Saturday, so neither of them is working, and Emma is out shopping with her sister-in-law.

Killian’s carrying a mug of freshly brewed coffee as he leaves the kitchen, catching the serious expression on his brother's face and in his tone. He's a bit nervous if he’s being honest, certain Liam’s going to chew him out for shutting off Emma’s shower yesterday. Killian was out the door before Liam could say anything to his face about it. He supposes he deserves the lecture, though; he was kind of an arsehole to her. Okay, he was a huge arsehole. But she was being so loud. And yes, she has the voice of an angel, but it doesn't give her the right to wake up the entire apartment building. Prepared for an arse chewing, Killian raises his free hand in surrender. “I promise I didn’t see anything. I was only trying to get her to stop singing—”

Liam shakes his head before Killian can finish, and drags a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. “That’s not what I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh. Okay, what is it then?” Killian asks, noticing how nervous Liam appears to be.

Liam motions to the living room, so they both head to the sofa and take a seat. He draws in a shaky breath and reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a velvet box.

Killian’s eyes widen in horror as he stares at the object.

No, please tell me that’s not what I think it is. Please, Liam. Don’t make it so.

Killian gulps thickly, unable to remove his eyes from the box. He’s never prayed for anything in his entire twenty-three years of living on this earth, but right now he’s praying that whatever’s in that box is not a diamond ring.

But judging by the smile cracking Liam’s lips, he already knows the words on his tongue before he speaks them. “I’m asking Emma to be my wife.”

Heart meet dagger.

Killian feels like the wind has just been knocked out of him, all of the air in the room suddenly gone.

Liam cracks open the box, showing Killian the ring. It’s a princess cut diamond with a white-gold band. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

Liam’s waiting for some sort of approval, but all Killian can do is stare at the ring and feel a stab of jealousy. He knows he should be happy and supportive, but he still can’t help but want Emma to be his and not his brother’s. He knows Liam deserves a woman like Emma, though, and she deserves someone like Liam. He’s a good man, and if Killian were forced to pick someone besides himself, he’d pick Liam every time. And if he had to pick someone for Liam, there's no doubt he’d pick her. But that doesn’t make this any less easy.

Killian clears the frog from his throat. “It’s stunning,” he says with a smile, trying to keep his tone even. “It’s stunning, just like Emma.”

“That’s exactly what I think too, little brother.” He blows out a wobbly breath. “I’m so bloody nervous about asking her to marry me. We’ve only been together for a year. Well, almost a year, but I know she’s the one for me, Killian. I know it deep in my bones. I’ve known since the night I met her.”

Killian wants to say he knows the feeling.

How is it even possible he and Liam felt the exact same way about the exact same woman that exact same night?

She made her choice though, regardless of the chemistry between her and Killian.

He also knows how Liam feels because, apart from that first week he and Emma were together, he hasn’t exactly kept Killian out of the loop. So Killian’s known every goddamn step of the way how Liam has felt about her. “How will you ask her?”

“Well . . .” Liam runs his hand through his hair nervously and stares off into space, as though he’s playing the scenario in his head. “For our one-year anniversary, I want to have a picnic on the lake where we went on our first date. Which reminds me . . .” Liam looks at Killian, appearing a bit skittish about something, “I wanted to ask you if I can borrow your motorcycle.”

Killian furrows his brows. “But you hate my bike. When I first got it, you kept telling me how dangerous it was, and when I taught you how to ride it, you said you never wanted to be on it again.”

“I know… but I want this proposal to be special, and I always catch Emma staring at your bike whenever we’re getting into my car.”

“You do?”

“Aye. And she’s mentioned she’s never ridden a motorcycle before, so I wanted her to have that experience. I want to do something with her she might enjoy before I pop the big question, you know? So she doesn’t think I’ll be one of those vanilla husbands who doesn’t know how to have fun.”

Killian’s heart clenches. How many times has he dreamt about taking Emma for a ride on his motorcycle? How many times has he dreamt of having her arms wrapped around him, holding him tight as they rode his bike?

“Then after we eat and have some wine, we’ll walk along the beach, and when the moment feels right, I’ll get down on one knee.”

Killian swallows hard. The scenario Liam is painting sounds absolutely perfect, and he knows Emma will love it. He knows Emma’s not a grand gesture type of lass, and what Liam has planned is the perfect combination of grand and simple.

“So, what do you say, can I use it?”

When Killian witnesses the spark in Liam’s eyes, he can’t help but say, “Of course. You can use it for as long as you’d like.”

“Thank you, Killian,” he says appreciatively, clasping his hands together as he leans forward and perches his elbows on his knees. “I also have another favor to ask of you.”

Killian quirks a brow as he sets his mug on the coffee table. “I’m afraid to ask.” He laughs, but he actually is afraid to ask.

Liam chuckles. “Relax, I only wanted to ask if you’d be my best man. You’re not only my brother . . .” his face grows serious as he looks Killian dead in the eyes, “you’re my best friend, and I couldn’t imagine anyone else standing up there beside me as I marry the woman of my dreams. I imagine it’ll take a while to plan the wedding, and the earliest it would be is next year, but—”

“I’d be honored,” Killian cuts him off, swallowing hard. It feels like Liam just drove the dagger deeper into his chest.

As honored as he is for Liam to ask him to be his best man, he can’t stand at the altar and watch the woman of his dreams marry his brother. He just can’t. But he can’t possibly tell Liam that.

A big grin overtakes Liam’s face as he pulls Killian in for a big hug.

“I’m happy for you,” Killian expresses hoarsely, trying to ignore how crushed he feels. “You deserve it, brother,” he says genuinely.

“Thank you, Killian. That means a lot,” Liam says as they break the hug. “Now just hope I can grow some balls to get down on one knee, and pray she says yes.”

“She’ll say yes, I know she will, Liam,” he says sincerely, patting his brother on the shoulder. He knows deep down Liam and Emma are perfect for each other, no matter how much he wants to deny it.

“You really think so?” Liam is asking hopefully.

And right now, Killian can’t help but smile. If Liam were proposing to any other woman, Killian would be so bloody happy for him. So he shoves away the fact that it’s Emma they’re talking about so he can just be there for his brother like Liam needs him to be. “Aye. There is no one more perfect for you than her.”

Liam grins from ear to ear. “At least we can agree on one thing,” he chuckles. “I love her so bloody much.” His face suddenly clouds with something Killian can’t quite put his finger on, and once again, Liam appears to be nervous. “That brings me to the final thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay,” Killian gulps. He has a bad feeling about what the next thing might be, though it can’t possibly be worse than telling him he’s proposing to the same woman Killian’s completely in love with or asking Killian to stand beside Liam as he watches Emma marry someone else.

“I need you to be nice to Emma,” he says in a condemning tone. “She thinks you hate her.”

Guilt clenches Killian’s heart, and as much as he knows he should be nice to the woman who will be Liam’s future wife, he knows agreeing to be nice to Emma is like agreeing to jump into quicksand.

For the past year, Killian’s had to pretend to hate Emma because he knows if he and Emma end up becoming friends, then he’ll be tempted to act on his feelings for her, and he can’t let that happen. He can’t do that to Liam. So, there’s only one other option.

Killian has to move out, and he needs to move out soon. Until that happens, he has to throw on a smile and pretend everything is hunky-dory. “I don’t hate her,” he manages, trying to shove all of his emotions down his throat.

“Good, then act like it. If she says yes when I propose, she’ll be your sister-in-law soon, so get used to that idea.”

Killian tears his gaze from Liam, unable to look at his brother right now. He feels like his ears are bleeding. Like his heart is bleeding. Liam has no idea how much his words just gutted him. He could never get used to being Emma’s . . .

No, he can’t even think about the idea. He could never consider Emma as his sister-in-law, and there’s no way he could ever be a brother figure to her. There’s just no bloody way. He’s wanked off while thinking about her for crying out fucking loud.

“You don’t have to worry, I promise I’ll be nicer to Emma.” Even as Killian makes the promise, he can feel himself being pulled in by the quicksand.

“Thank you, Killian.”

When they stand, Killian tells him he’s going to the gym. He needs to relieve some of the pain bubbling inside his chest and figure out how the bloody hell he’s going to win this internal battle inside him, or if he ever will. He should have seen this coming though. He knows Liam has been serious about Emma from the beginning.

He changes into his gym clothes, and once the cool breeze hits his face, once Liam is no longer near him, he can finally breathe, but even then, the surrounding air feels paper-thin. He’s barely able to suck in enough oxygen to make his heart not feel so heavy.

He puts on his helmet and hops on his bike, driving out of the parking lot and trying to figure out how the bloody hell to get out of this predicament.

As much as he loves Liam, he can’t fucking do this. Any of it. He can’t be Liam’s best man, he can’t give a best man speech and tell everyone how bloody happy he is for the bride and groom while he’ll actually be dying inside. He can’t live with them for one more bloody second, and he sure as hell can’t be her brother-in-law.

Which leaves Killian with only one choice.

He needs to get out of Storybrooke. And he needs to get out soon.

Tagging people who have shown interest. Let me know if you would like to be added or if I missed you. @itsfabianadocarmo @resident-of-storybrooke @snowbellewells @onceuponaprincessworld @viajandosinalas @teamhook @captainswan-shipper88 @jamif @katielovesstarcrossedlovers @uhthreeyuh @lfh1226-linda @babyyouremyqueen @sthonour @julesep3026 @fairytalewhispersinmyheart @andiirivera @wefoundloveunderthelight @wickedsw4n @eleveneitherway @eherron14 @ouatpost @transparentclodsludgeweasel @stahlop

#jewelled swan #captain swan #js ff #through the rising tide #my fic #cs ff

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janegrey9 · 4 years ago

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play the role of anyone but me, ii

haha since im making the most of motivation, here's chapter 2 already! tag list at the end :) also yes this chapters title is from an ariana grande song. get used to it.

warnings: cursing

word count: 1,408

chapter ii: fight our energy

English, math, and chemistry were excruciating. Julie was a good student, of course, but going over the same syllabus in each class over and over again was not her thing. Luckily, fourth period was music class, and then she had lunch. Unluckily, Patterson, Peters, and Mercer were in her music class.

Julie, Flynn, and Carrie all had third period and fourth together, so they walked together to music class, and when they got there, it was practically empty. The three girls, who had long since ditched their coffees and teas, chose seats together in the middle of the room.

Not long after the girls had settled into their seats, the bell rang and Mrs. Harrison, the music teacher, moved to close the door. As she reached for the handle, three boys slid into the classroom. Peters and Patterson raced to the last empty seats in the back of the room, Peters practically falling out of his seat and Patterson unable to contain his laughter. Mercer just stood in front of Mrs. Harrison with a tired expression on his face.

“Hi, Alex.” the teacher said with a raised eyebrow.

“Hi, Mrs. Harrison. Sorry about them.” He gestured vaguely towards the two others.

“It's alright. At least they’re amusing.” She said with a slight smile. Mercer chuckled before going to take the last available seat. Coincidentally next to Carrie. Julie, Carrie, and Flynn all rolled their eyes at each other.

“Okay class. I’m sure you’ve tuned out all your other teachers when they read through the syllabus, so I’ll let you all do that in your own time. I expect you will all turn it in on Friday signed by at least one parent.” Mrs. Harrison said to the class. “Now. Onto the interesting stuff; to kick off the year, I have decided to host a songwriting contest!” Murmurs rippled through the class, kids sitting up in their seats and glancing at each other. “Just one catch - you must work with a partner, and it must be the partner I assign for you.”

Everyone groaned.

“Oh c’mon Mrs. H, can’t we just write alone?” Patterson called out.

“No, this is meant to be a team exercise. You will be graded on how smoothly your song flows and the incorporation of different instruments in your song, as well as a subjective grade from each of your peers. Which means you will perform for the class.”

Another groan from the students.

“God, I hope we get paired together.” Julie leaned over and whispered to Flynn. All three girls wrote music, but Carrie always wrote alone. Flynn and Julie had written together before, and both girls were crossing their fingers that they'd get paired together.

“Okay, I'm going to read out your partners now. No trading. Kravet and Keller. Adams and Hill.” Julie glanced around at the rest of the class. She could do this, it wouldn't be horrible to get paired with someone who wasn't Flynn. As long as it wasn't-

“Molina and Patterson.” Mrs. Harrison called out to the class.

“Shit.” Julie whispered. Carrie and Flynn's heads whipped around to Julie with sympathetic expressions. “Shit, fuck, shit. Fucking hell.” Clearly, the only words in Julie’s vocabulary at the moment were curse words.

“Jones and Wilson.” was the next duo to leave Mrs. Harrison's mouth.

Great. Her two best friends were paired together and she got stuck with Mr. McBiceps Electric Guitar. Just Julie’s luck.

“Peters and Danforth-Evans. Evans-McKessie and Mercer. And finally, Jacobs and Barry. You have the rest of today’s class to get to know your partner and start brainstorming. You'll get one class every week to work on your song, but other than that I expect each of you to meet outside of school. The song is due next Friday. Now get to work!” Mrs. Harrison called before starting to make the rounds around the class.

Julie glanced behind her and locked eyes with Patterson. He looked smug. She turned back around and sighed loudly before grabbing her back and standing from her seat.

“Wish me luck ladies. If you hear any screams from the back of the classroom, it's just me strangling him with his guitar strap. No big deal.” She joked.

Carrie and Flynn laughed before both hugging her.

“Good luck, babe.” Flynn said.

“Yeah, and maybe try not to kill them. I'll never hear the end of it from Bobby if my best friend killed his.” Carrie joked.

Julie half smiled, but it felt like a wince. She slowly made her way to the back of the classroom, where Patterson was. Fortunately, Kayla Evans-McKessie, Mercer’s partner, was back there too. She and Patterson were in the middle of a heated argument when Julie got to the empty seat next to Patterson.

“Wow, Patterson. Is it natural instinct for you to annoy every girl you interact with?” Julie asked mock-sympathetically. Kayla laughed.

“Definitely seems like it. Sorry you got stuck with him.”

“Hey!” Patterson exclaimed. “I’m right here.”

Kayla and Julie looked at each other and then back at the boy. “We know.” they said in unison before laughing.

“Kayla!” Mercer called. “C’mon, we have to get started.”

Kayla smiled at Julie quickly before going back to her seat next to Mercer.

“Julie Molina.” Patterson said with an appreciative smile. “Damn, I got lucky. Second best songwriter in the class!”

Julie raised an eyebrow at him. “Second best?”

“Second to me, obviously. You aren't better than me, princess, no matter how pretty your voice is.” Julie scowled at his words.

“First off, don’t call me that. Second, if anyone in this class is better at songwriting than me it's Carrie, not you.” She snapped.

“Sure thing, princess. Whatever you say.” Patterson said, grinning that stupid smile of his.

“Ugh. Look, we have to write this song and I am not losing.”

“Good to hear, because neither am I.”

“I thought maybe we could build upon a song I already started. I have a basic melody line - for the piano, obviously - and it would just need layering and lyrics.” Julie pulled her journal out of her bag and handed it to Patterson, the book already open to the song she had started the day before.

“Hm…” Patterson said as he looked over what she had. “It’s nice, but kind of boring. What if during the chorus we add something like this?” He grabbed a pencil from the small pocket of his backpack and started writing over what she had.

When he handed it back to Julie, she read over what he had written humming along.

“This is… actually really good. You came up with it just now?” she asked.

“No, I had been working on it last week. Couldn't figure out what it was missing until you handed me what you had. Your cute little melody had everything my rockin’ idea needed, princess.” Patterson said with a wink. Julie rolled her eyes, fighting a smile.

She was not allowed to find that cute.

“We should meet after school. I want to get this over with as quickly as possible. My place?” Julie said, glancing at the clock. The bell was going to ring in a minute, the class having moved faster than she anticipated.

“Sure. But I’m gonna need your address, princess.” God, that smirk was going to drive Julie crazy, only if the dumb nickname didn't do so first.

“How about you just put your number in my phone and I’ll text it to you?” Julie asked. She wanted this to take as little time as possible and if the agonizing boy had to have her phone number for that to happen, then so be it. Reaching into her back pocket, Julie pulled her phone out and opened a new contact. Patterson plucked her phone out of her hand, a shit-eating grin spreading on his face.

“Y’know, if you wanted my number, princess, you could’ve just asked.” He said before handing her phone back. Julie pursed her lips and shot him a glance before looking down at the name he had entered as his contact.

Luke ;) 💕

Julie was almost ready to make good on her statement to Flynn and Carrie and strangle the boy when the bell rang, saving him. Patterson pulled his bag onto his shoulder and started walking backwards out of the classroom, his eyes trained on Julie the whole time.

“No booty calls!” He yelled from the doorway.

Julie turned pink. As if.

tag list: @lydias--stiles

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms fic #jatp fic #julie molina #luke patterson #juke #juke fic

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mmmleckerlecker · 4 years ago

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Please do go off about why you chose certain chapter titles

I wanna know it all 👀

Well. I mean. *cracks knuckles* If you insist....

(putting in a read more tho cause I just break down every chapter title so it gets lengthy)

Some of them are kinda obvious and simple. Like “The Meeting” details Felix and Benji’s first meeting. Duh.

“‘Someone Like You’” is named after a quote in the chapter HOWEVER it IS a quote that comes back once Felix learns about consuming and what Mrs. Marotta truly meant when she said it.

I think “Lion’s Den” was my first ‘clever’ chapter title. There’s not really anything deeper to it than being a reference to the fact that Benji innocently walks into a house filled with preds (the majority of which have consumed fatally)

“The Truth” is simply named for the fact that it’s the chapter where Felix learns the truth about preds and consuming. However, it’s somewhat unintentional (maybe I did it subconsciously), but I think most chapters that start with ‘the’ in the title, are sort of markers for important milestones in the story/character arcs. So, for instance, so far the Big Things to happen have truly been their meeting and learning the truth

“Trust” is also pretty straightforward but I do think it’s the beginning of a sort of reoccurring theme in the story. I also just find the concept of trust fascinating, especially when it’s given to people who naturally don’t seem to deserve it (like Felix)

And then there’s “Crush”!! This chapter was definitely named after the fact that it’s about Camille’s crush on Felix. HOWEVER I liked the sound of it because it was a sort of dark foreshadowing for how their relationship would evolve as time went on.

Was the chapter “Changes” inspired a little bit by the David Bowie song? Maybe so. Do I hear it play in my head every time I read the chapter title? Who is to say? (Same kind of goes for “‘Someone Like You’” where that Adele song plays)

Mmm and “Instinct” was of course named after the fact that this is when Felix’s pred instincts really kick into overdrive and start pushing him down the road to becoming Lux. I know it’s another simple title but I like to think it mirrors “Trust” in a way. Not only are they single word titles, but they’re both reoccurring themes in the story. They’re also both sort of the defining factor in Felix and Benji’s relationship. Does Benji have enough trust in Felix that he’s safe? Are Felix’s instincts powerful enough to jeopardize that safety? Only time will tell...

Okay now listen. Imma be honest. The line, “For Benji,” was NOT originally in this chapter. I was trying to come up with a title and I was like “doesn’t Felix think that to himself at some point?” Turns out ahh nope he didn’t. But no worries. I can do what I want. I simply slipped it in there and now it’s the chapter title. I really only wanted this title For The Drama.

Oof the title for “A Single Condition” was a little difficult to come up with. It’s just that SO MUCH happens in this chapter. It’s the longest chapter in the story so far.* But ultimately the line about Prey Man having a single condition really stood out to me as it’s basically the driving force for the next few chapters so that’s how I got that chapter title. (*Now when I say it’s the longest in the story, I mean it’s the longest POSTED chapter. There’s been more than one chapter I’ve had to split into two when posting cause they’re just too damn long.)

Now “The Scorpion” is one I’m super proud of. I uh dunno how many people got the reference but it’s to the Fable called “The Scorpion and the Frog” where a scorpion asks for a ride across the river on the back of the frog. The frog refuses at first, saying the scorpion will surely sting and kill him while he swims. The scorpion reassures the frog, saying that if he dies, the scorpion will also die by drowning as he cannot swim. The frog agrees to help.... and the scorpion stings him. As they both die, the frog asks why the scorpion did it, and the scorpion responds that it’s simply in his nature. The Scorpion, in this case, is Felix who betrays Benji simply by giving in to his nature. (Note that I don’t really agree with the message behind the fable, but ya know... The Symbolism.)

And then obviously “The Frog” is a reference to Benji who also makes the mistake of trusting his natural enemy and paying for it dearly. (Fun fact but these two chapters where originally one that I split into two to keep the lengths reasonable. And BOY WAS IT A GOOD DECISION. That one week between releases where everyone was LOSING it because they didn’t know whether Felix would let Benji out or not.... was a Good Week)

I think “A New Perspective” was a pretty straightforward title decision. As low key as the chapter itself. I do find it interesting tho that both chapters that start with “A” in the title have to do with Benji getting his world rocked upon learning how other prey view preds

YASSS and then there’s “Lux.” I like this chapter title purely because I don’t think people realized the significance of it when I first posted it. Like it really was like “oh Felix has a cute nickname. That’s fun!” And then several chapters later it’s just “oh okay so Lux really is this whole different side to him huh?” Like this chapter is the absolute true beginning to Lux. Love it.

And for “Lilian” this was a chapter title meant to mirror the previous one. They’re the only two chapters named after a character, they’re back to back, and they both start with an L (although that wasn’t intentional, it just sorta happened lol). This chapter was also originally combined into one chapter with the previous chapter, but again, I broke them up to save on length.

“The Alliance” was simply named for the Pred-Prey Alliance in the chapter, also the driving force for the main conflict (but also note that it’s another chapter title that starts with “the”)

AND THEN we have “The Facility,” the title for which is meant to mirror the one before it because... this is it. These are the two chapters that cement Camille and Felix going down completely opposite paths with Benji stuck right in the middle.

“Homecoming” I think is... a kind uncreative title. But truly not much happens in the chapter itself except that.... Benji comes home

Now for “A Place to Belong” (note how this is the other chapter title that begins with “A”), I think simply titling it “Epomis” was a huge temptation. It’s The Big Reveal and it would sort of mirror the title for chapter 17 “The Facility.” HOWEVER. I thought naming it that would be too much of a spoiler. Especially if a new reader happened to be skimming through the list of chapters. It would give away the significance too soon. And I hate giving spoilers away more than I liked the drama of the title, so I went with “A Place to Belong” instead.

Okay and I’m very much proud of “Golden Boy” because it’s such a small line in the chapter, and the title itself is vague enough that no one would question it until they had more context. And then you get the context and you REALIZE how significant The Golden Boy really is. (Also maybe a little bit cause Lux’s name means “light” and I just like the image of golden light)

“Busy Work” was another one of those uninspired titles for another one or those lowkey Benji chapters. Hmm maybe they should get a category of their own since they keep happening. Anydays. The title mayyy have also been a small reference to the Avatar episode “Bitter Work” in which Toph first (attempts) to teach Aang to earthbend. (Because that show is my favorite ever and I think it inspires my writing a lot in general.)

“The Mission” title is also quite obvious but notice how it’s another “The” title! This is the chapter that marks the beginning of Benji’s path back to Felix/Lux. I’d say that’s pretty important.

Mmmm I love the title for “‘To Live and Give.’” When I first wrote that line a few chapters earlier I was evil smiling to myself about how I was planning to bring it back with a MUCH darker twist. I love it.

“‘All Mouths That Surround You’” aka one of my fave chapters. The perfect intro for the new Lux. This is a reference, of course, to the alt-J song “Every Other Freckle,” which I’ve associated with Lux from the beginning. Now. I realize that some (most) lyric sites list that line as “all baths that surround you.” I think out of context, that line sounds strange, but there IS another line that’s clearly “all showers that shower you” so I guess that would make more sense to include baths as well. But is that as sexy as “mouths”? Absolutely not. So we improvise, overcome, adapt. Moving right along.

“The Reunion,” which I sorta mentioned earlier, is meant to mirror the very first chapter, “The Meeting” and I think that’s beautiful. Like I’m all about taking everything that seemed happy and innocent in the beginning of this story and twisting it so it matches the darker tone of the rest.

“Table Talks” is a little bit of a meh title to me but I do find it entertaining that I think table talks are usually.... not as angsty and full of conflict as Benji and Lux’s is.

“Kleptoparasite” is, as mentioned earlier, a reference to Lux stealing Cecil’s prey. It’s the ~scientific~ term for an animal that acquires its prey by stealing it from other predators. I mostly chose it because I wanted something more clever than “Stolen Prey” (and also I like incorporating Real Life stuff into the story. Like how Epomis is a beetle whose larvae practice predator/prey role-reversal in nature).

And finally there’s “Crumple” which is a callback all the way to chapter 6 “Crush.” This time Camille really IS a crumpled mess. The chapter really hits home with how her and Lux’s relationship has changed over the years. And, of course, it’s just me again doing the classic twist of making things in the early years darker to fit the later years.

Okay! That’s everything up to date so far! I hope this is what you meant when you wanted to “know all” 😂

#anon I’m so fucking sorry if this is Too Much Information #you gave me the opportunity to go off and I SEIZED IT #asks #heart pangs

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sukirichi · 3 years ago

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suk *ehem saeren (new pseud is sexy btw and also your new theme vvv sexc bestie!!!😌😌) okay so when i read chp 7-8 i was like ‘y/n c’mon. give kita the chance he deserves i mean IT’S THE MR. KITA SHINSUKE WTF WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK?!’ but then oh god, the museum scene holy fuck. no because the cherry blossom tree works so well as an analogy for the main couple’s love story. yeah, cherry blossoms signify new beginnings and are mostly adorned by many when they bloom. why? aside from the indication of renewal, it only stays for a certain period of the year which is always a sight to see and because of the limited time frame, everyone knows the beauty it exudes will be gone after the time passes (death). going back, suna and y/n’s routine of spending time together to being away from each other’s presence is the recurring theme for them to grow. seeing them say too many goodbyes brings that anxious feeling of ‘ahh. it we will be back to square one again' (also, not the fact that broken record connotes annoying repetition of something is aksjalks🤧)

also yeah, when you love a person, the one should make you feel calm and secure and only then you can distinguish whether you truly love them or just merely an infatuation. but in y/n’s case, whether she has that rose-tinted glasses on or not, identifying the blaring red flags is hard to accept notice if that same marker is the one that brings her comfort due to its familiarity. and idk where to put this in my last ask because i don’t have enough brain juice to make a theory, but the way suna is nervous for his first date with mari, he should have second guessed why he’s acting like that when the happiness he felt with y/n is way more different with mari (should have listened to osamu and aran and ooh im sorry i assumed they samu and suna were schoolmates in high school when they are not akhfak). sure, he’s nervous out of excitement but for what? it's like foreshadowing that he needs to put up a front with mari just to keep her (but we all know that is not the case) in those 3 years they spent together, did he feel more on the edge than relaxed tho? 🤨

and for someone who loathes her half-sister, nagisa sure is invested with the happenings in y/n. it’s like she’s always on the lookout for her mistakes and dote it on her until her last breath. the mari and nagisa connection is possible though and it is not like they live countries apart but their meeting, from the way i see it, is like a silver lining for nagisa to topple y/n lol🤪 and aah, now it get why nagisa called y/n whore at the restaurant. when i read that part, i thought that they have somewhat lived under the same roof for some time but the succeeding chps showed they did not and was still confused because she has never shown any interest about what is going on with her affiliated family except hatred and then that happened. i guess when she burst out at that moment, it was when the two had met?

it’s kinda disheartening to see how lucy subtly(??) controls y/n’s love life. maybe because she doesn’t want y/n to fall under the same category for marrying out of love when she is the one who refuses to divorce the dad (= she shouldn’t). should have filed that divorce, not doing so is a recipe for disaster itself. and mari 😤😤WHAT DID I SAY?? (well in this case, it is shunning others away from suna) i cannot, for my peace of mind, be able to be in the same vicinity as her. for all i know, i could be dragging her on the floor out of pure disgust. i can’t wait to find out who died and who is in critical condition. though, that critical scenario lead to afterlife too, so no wishful thinking here. but, ahh are we getting a background story for suna too?🥺 this is where i'm betting my wish at. while we’re at it, i wonder how atsumu will react to suna impregnating mari. i imagine he would say ‘dude wtf?! she chose you! how could you?!’ i know he is happy with his gf but can’t help to be caring as ever to y/n.

reading chps 7-9 in one go was a pleasant experience 1.because school😔🤢 2.angst is way more comforting than comedy 3.no more anxious thoughts of why and how this happened because at this point, i’m just playing hidden mickey here. but i truly love the story, can’t believe it’s already ending by the next update. saerennn i hope ur okay bub?🥺 and get that hashbrowns after finishing the series or while working for the last track. u deserve it!! luv u~💕💕

🍳

my egg anon, hello !! I’m so sorry for the late response, my asks were piled up and I got busy with school :<

AND AAAAAH THANK YOU I’M SO HAPPY YOU GOT THE MESSAGE OF THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!! it was actually taken from the music video I linked back to the end of the chapter and my friend and I were discussing it because I think there were lots of symbolism on it. the one about new beginnings because the cherry blossoms only come for a certain time of the year before a new season comes also represents how YN and Suna keep going back and forth to loving, getting complicated, forgiving, getting complicated and so on and so forth. I love everything you said because it was exactly how I wanted the story to be like <33 the part about being anxious too !! that’s why YN keeps saying ‘this cycle never ends.’ and YESSSS THAT’S ALSO WHY I CHOSE BROKEN RECORDS AS THE TITLE. the ‘records’ refer to them playing love songs and then apology songs to each other over and over but then the song stops and they start to have new stories :<<

oooooh yes, totally. judging from my own experience, I can tell too whether it’s love or infatuation. when I’m with someone I love, I feel totally at peace and safe with them. it’s comfortable, it’s not supposed to be scary or nerve wracking. even if something wrong happened, you’re assured by the knowledge they’d be patient and listen to you. AND THIS PART WHERE YOU SAID THIS ABOUT SUNA ‘whether she has that rose-tinted glasses on or not, identifying the blaring red flags is hard to accept notice if that same marker is the one that brings her comfort due to its familiarity’ ITS 100% ACCURATE. same goes for suna tbh. YN was the one who broke his heart when they broke up but she was also the only able to comfort him. it’s hard for them to let each other go because they’re both a source of pain and familiarity that they struggle to find in this world. yes there’s some slight foreshadowing in how suna reacted with mari. he was on edge and he didn’t know what to do most of the time because he doesn’t understand mari the same way he understands YN. as for him being on edge, he most definitely was tiptoeing because mari placed a lot of boundaries such as keeping YN completely out of the picture and making her presence a bare minimum.

NOOOO BECAUSE THAT’S SO TRUE. Nagisa is always updated with YN. YN is the one who updates her about her life because she’s always trying to make conversation, but Nagisa pretends to be ‘uninterested’ although don’t let that fool you because she remembers every little detail just in case she can use it against her half sister. nagisa and mari met after mari broke up with suna in ch1 so yes, nagisa already knew the situation !! that’s why she called YN a ‘whore’ because if she ‘was with Suna’ then why is she also ‘dating’ Kita? so in nagisa’s eyes, YN is just the same as her mom.

lucy was half and half. sometimes she has good intentions but most of the time she’s also just messed in the head and she really fucked with YN’s trust issues. HMMM I WANTED A BACKGROUND STORY FOR SUNA TOO TBH but I didn’t know where to fit it and I didn’t want to add random, unnecessary details :<< AND FOR ATSUMUUUUU…. atsumu crushed on YN real hard… until now, even though he has a gf (now wife in the timeskip) you can tell he still cares about YN

NAUUUR angst is way more comforting than comedy sobs. and yes baby, I’m doing okay !! just a lil busy with uni work but nothing I can’t handle <33 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS EGG ANON, I REALLY LOVE HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS ON IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG BRAIN AHHH I love you, stay safe too bb <33

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series ( broken records )#long ask #anon:🍳

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leapingtitan · 4 years ago

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The Final Season - Episode 1 Thoughts

I've watched the first episode around 3 times on my own and over a dozen times from anime-only live reactions on YouTube. Those are always something to have a field day with every season, and are part of the whole enjoyment post-watching the episode on your own.

Obviously I'm only reviewing this based on the first episode, so it's way too early to judge The Final Season as a whole. However, I will say that my strategy to keep my expectations low definitely worked. I was very hyped, don't get me wrong, but after Season 3 Part 2, I realized that production and scheduling has never been this show's strong suite and things behind the scenes were always chaotic. And it was my mistake to realize it this late and have unrealistically high expectations of the manga's adaptation.

But enough about that. I'm just gonna say it right now. I absolutely loved this episode and was completely blown away by it. It was a rollercoaster ride from start to finish and boy, the staff wasn't kidding when they said the first episode was like a movie. It definitely felt like that, and it went by in a flash. Now, on to the individual points.

Story/Adaptation

Flawless. Everything was executed perfectly and went beyond my expectations. The thing that stood out to me the most was how many things were changed from the PV in terms of scene construction, camera angles, and overall storyboards. There was only one shot that we reused from the PV, namely the one with Zeke and Reiner inside the airship where they're referred to as the spear and shield. Everything else was redone, which was a huge surprise. Wit was always very faithful to the original manga panels with how they used them as a big reference for most of their cuts, but this one changes them up a lot. Personally, I am 100% fine with it and as someone who has read these chapters in the manga dozens of times over the past few years, seeing them like this was a pleasant and very welcome surprise.

The anime-only additions here are notable and also quite welcome. Falco's line in the beginning in particular stood out the most in the long-run, but the addition of the Eldians' terror being shown as well as the scene before the ED was very welcome. I would like to assume that this was Isayama's doing as whenever the anime usually adds/changes up things, it's his request to do so. He sort of considers the anime to be the "definitive" version of the story that he, for one reason or another, couldn't do in the manga himself when that particular chapter came out. Season 3 Part 1 (The Uprising Arc) is a prime example for this. Once again, I'm very content with what was done here and I trust MAPPA will do the story justice.

A small but very neat thing is the fact that we got to keep the title cards and the info eyecatches mid-episode. Really added to the whole sense of consistency.

Animation

When the initial trailer came out, many people were concerned about Shigeki Asakawa (Director of Photography)'s odd and excessive usage of blur filters on top of the scenes and were wondering if they would remain in the final product, given her track record with other shows like The God of Highschool. Luckily, that is not the case here as the scenes look very clean and the minimal blur on top adds a bit to the muddy/gritty atmosphere of what's going on. Personally, I don't mind it at all and I barely notice it anyway. MAPPA's biggest strength to me is the usage of effects like blood and explosions. You feel the impact of everything and with such an action-packed episode, it made everything so much better.

The usage of 3D CGI for the Titan Shifters has been the biggest controversy surrounding this first episode. When I first watched it, it didn't bother me at all. Personally I care more about a model fitting in the action sequence rather than how it looks for the most part. Right now I would say I'm neutral. It's not the greatest CG ever conceived in anime but it definitely does not look out of place and is pretty decent. For the Jaw Titan, I couldn't tell what was CG and what wasn't for the most part. For the other Titans it's more obvious, but it's not too jarring. Obviously, if it was up to me and the production committee/NHK didn't push their scheduling shenanigans onto MAPPA, I would have gotten every Titan in 2D, but you can't have everything. If they choose to focus on more important scenes later on and cut corners in this first episode as a result, that's understandable. I can live with it. And again, even then, it's not that bad in my eyes.

Now, the character designs are just absolutely stellar. In multiple interviews, it’s been stated that they wanted to stay true to Kyoji Asano’s designs at Wit while also being consistent with Isayama’s style in the manga. And boy did they absolutely nail it. It’s exactly what as they said. Tomohiro Kishi could not have done a better job with the characters we’ve seen so far and I am beyond impressed with his work. I look forward to seeing the rest of the characters in this arc.

Sound

I've been following Kohta Yamamoto's works for a few years now, ever since he started working with Sawano (and being mentored by him to an extent) in early 2017. Although he's been involved with AoT before, particularly with the character songs in Season 2, whenever those two would collaborate on a project it would usually be because Sawano is too busy to compose a full soundtrack. So what usually happens is, Sawano does one track and variations of it (think ShingekiNoKyojin, ThanksAT and T-KT), and nothing else. Meanwhile, Yamamoto handles the rest of the music for the show. On top of that, Yamamoto's style as a composer is different from Sawano's as he comes from a rock/guitarist background as opposed to Sawano, who is a pianist and is classically trained. My biggest concern for The Final Season was that we would get a similar case as with the other shows where Sawano doesn't put in too much effort, while Yamamoto essentially becomes the main composer. Although it looks like this is in fact the case after this first episode, let me explain why I don't think it's a bad thing.

After the premiere of the first episode, both Sawano and Yamamoto tweeted that it was in fact Yamamoto who is handling the majority of the Marley Arc's music. And after this first episode, I have to say I'm impressed. His initial track that he made for the PV was a bit off-putting to me because it sounded like every epic blockbuster Hollywood trailer background track ever, but after the way it was used in this episode alongside a few other tracks, I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised. It fits what's going on, and overall delivers a fresh sound to the show that is very appropriate given the massive change in narrative. Back during S3 Part 1, Sawano stated in an interview that he was already burned out and had trouble coming up with new music for AoT given how many tracks he had already composed for it. Given how few new melodies were in S3 Part 2;s music, I think this should be clear. Especially now that we're going into yet another season. To summarize, I think Yamamoto's work here is a result of three conditions that just happened to line up perfectly. The change in narrative, which the new composer style reflects. Sawano being busy. And Sawano being burned out with AoT. Now personally I still believe we're going to get at least one new original Sawano track with variations of it for the big climax moments this arc, and he may compose more music for the 2nd half of this 16-episode season, since that's technically a new arc. But we'll see. As a whole though, I'm satisfied with what I've heard from Kohta Yamamoto in this first episode.

The last point to make in regards to the sound is Masafumi Mima who, apart from Sawano, the voice cast, and some freelancers, is the only one from the previous seasons' staff members to return here. And once again, his work here is absolutely phenomenal. The mixing and usage of sound effects in this episode was stellar and truly felt like I was watching a war movie. It enhanced the action tenfold and I could not want it any better. Music usage is something that goes through the director (Yuichiro Hayashi), but ultimately the sound director is the one who implements the track (instrument layering/stem editing) and does the mixing. The usage of Kohta Yamamoto's music here was very well done, and although the track from the PV repeated quite a bit, it didn't get repetitive at all. Also, the sound director remaining consistent here means we got to keep things like the titan transformation sound effects, which may be a small thing but was very welcome and added to the whole consistency.

Opening/Ending

I'm gonna wait until Shinsei Kamattechan releases the full version of the opening in a single or album to fully judge the song, but boy do I love this opening. Although I'm not sure if the TV-size version is my favorite AoT opening yet, I have to say that it's without a doubt the most fitting OP this show has had until this point. It perfectly showcases the themes of war that this arc focuses on and has this lowkey disturbing eerie vibe with the dissonant chords and mixing of the vocals that feels just as "mysterious" and "tense" as the show itself. I love it so much, honestly. Now, Isayama was a fan of Shinsei Kamattechan prior to them doing the S2 ED, and was the one who got them on-board to do it. Although that song isn't really my thing it's also a perfect fit, which leads me to believe that Isayama himself most likely chose the band again, namely to do this OP. And it's fantastic. I love the song. The visuals also have a very distinct style with all the colors and white backgrounds and I love how it's more metaphorical and symbolic (I guess "abstract" as well?) rather than flat-out just spoiling everything like the last arc's OP did.

The ED by Yuko Ando is fantastic. The first time I listened to the full song on its own I couldn't stop getting chills. Love the production aspects of the song and it's just really nice altogether. The visuals are quite interesting especially towards the end and I also like them a lot. Not much else to say about the ED. It's amazing. Go listen to it.

Conclusion

As a whole, I kept my expectations extremely low prior to the premiere despite my hype. As a result of that, not only were they exceeded, I was absolutely blown away by this first episode in pretty much every way. It may still be too early to judge, but from what has been shown here so far, I am absolutely looking forward to see MAPPA adapt the rest of this amazing story, or about as far as they can get with 16 episodes.

#well this just became a whole essay lmao i'm sorry about that #anyway i hope y'all have been doing well #i don't plan to use tumblr actively again but it's nice to have a place to post huge rants like this #but yeah smh at discord lmao #snk #shingeki no kyojin #snk the final season #snk season 4

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gunnerpalace · 5 years ago

Photo

(These asks were reordered from bottom-to-top to top-to-bottom for clarity.)

Alright, so the first thing I want to say in response to this is actually best summarized in the form of a song:

youtube

You are somebody that I don't know But you're takin' shots at me like it's Patrón And I'm just like, damn, it's 7 AM Say it in the street, that's a knock-out But you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-out And I'm just like, "Hey, are you okay?"

And I ain't tryna mess with your self-expression But I've learned a lesson that stressin' and obsessin' 'bout somebody else is no fun And snakes and stones never broke my bones

So oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh You need to calm down, you're being too loud And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh) You need to just stop Like can you just not step on my gown? You need to calm down

I would like you to seriously reread what you’ve written here (and copy-and-pasted to others) and tell me that it doesn’t come across as more than a little obsessive and psychotic. "This may seem like hate, but it's not," you said anonymously, before going on a rant to strangers on the internet whom you had nominated as the representatives of "you guys." Sure, okay, Heather.

Well, regardless, let’s go through this. First, you don't understand 685/686. I've been over this before several times, but I will go over this one final time, as simply as I can. That said, I can't guarantee that you will understand it when I do. I was unable to successfully tutor 1st graders how to do addition because my perspective was, "Either you understand it or you don't," and I don't have the background in math to make such a simple concept exciting. The same might be true of this, because there is no way to critically analyze these chapters more succinctly than this, and so you still might not get it.

The point of 685/686, thematically, is that absolutely no one got what they wanted.

Renji wanted to surpass Byakuya. He remains Byakuya's Lieutenant and has to settle for being under his sister (figuratively and probably literally too) who now also outranks him as a Captain.

Rukia wanted to reform Soul Society into a more humane institution that protects all souls. It is the same as it ever was, and if anything has doubled down on its practices by rebuilding the Soukyoku (on which it tried to kill her) a hundred times larger, and she is one of its main wardens.

Uryuu wanted anything but to be a doctor, ever since he watched his mom being autopsied by his dad. He is now a doctor, and all alone at that.

Chad promised his grandfather to never hurt people with his fists. He is now a boxer, doing exactly that for money.

Orihime wanted to go out and have several different exciting careers. She is instead a stay-at-home mom.

Ichigo wanted to save a "mountain full" of people, be Superman, leave Karakura, and be a Shinigami. He instead appears to run Isshin's clinic now.

So, yes, you are correct: Kubo chose that Ichigo wind up with Orihime. It is exceedingly clear, from the context, that this is absolutely not a good thing.

That point is further reemphasized by Yhwach’s threat to come kill Ichigo and everyone else when they are at their happiest. And when does he reappear?

When Ichigo saw Rukia again.

Not when Ichigo asked Orihime out. Not when they started dating, officially or unofficially. Not when they were married. Not when she gave birth to his son. Not when his son said his first words.

Not when anything happened with Orihime or Kazui, but when he saw Rukia again.

That is your “Kubo-sensei” telling you directly that the happiest moment in Ichigo’s life was just simply seeing Rukia again, and not anything involving Orihime in any capacity whatsoever.

All of that should tell you that Ichigo and Orihime’s relationship is not exactly the stuff legends are made out of, because them winding up together is explicitly portrayed as a downer ending. A bad ending.

If you cared at all about the characters—if you cared at all about their desires, or their happiness—or if you cared at all that IchiHime was presented as even merely good, let alone destined or fated or whatever else, then you would be offended by this ending too.

Because the ending is “Kubo-sensei” straight-up unequivocally telling you that IchiHime is bad and tragic. It is something that one must demonstrate “courage” in the face of. It requires stoicism. It is a bad ending, but that’s life. That’s what the ending means.

He did you dirty too. You just don’t want to see it, because you are so obsessed with the concept of “winning.” Well, this was mutually-assured destruction: everyone lost. Especially you.

Moving on: no, Kubo doesn’t really get attention or money from us. I’m not really sure where this idea comes from.

I’m not an expert on Japanese intellectual property rights and licensing, but I know enough about them in general to know that very little if any money goes to Kubo personally from ongoing Bleach merchandise sales. For example, KLab more than likely has a contract with Shueisha (representing Kubo, hence why they’re put together on BBS’s title card), TV Tokyo, Dentsu, and Pierrot, wherein they pay those entities a fixed amount to license Bleach per year or per contractual term. It’s not like Kubo is making money off of every orb purchase or every figurine sold or something. These things don’t work like that.

As for attention, he’s still hiding from social media (for reasons of his own, unrelated to the fandom), and the people who give him attention are... you. People like you. “True Bleach fans” who can’t stop treating all his shit like it’s solid gold. We have made it fairly clear we don’t need him or care what he thinks.

Regarding BBS, maybe you haven’t noticed, but the majority of the imagery they use is IchiRuki-focused. The last title screen was IchiRuki. The Guild button is IchiRuki. The Events button is IchiRuki. The Chronicle Quest button is IchiRuki. Here, I’ve helpfully highlighted this for you:

While they do occasionally toss IH a bone, the last January event also ended on an IR note despite the ridiculous crowing about it being IH. While I’m at it, even the current supposedly “IH” title screen is anything but.

It doesn’t take Michelangelo or Da Vinci to figure out the composition here is not terribly suggestive. While Rukia is indeed off to one side, the fact Uryuu, Zangetsu, and the title card are between Ichigo and Orihime (and they’re looking in different directions) makes it pretty evident that they’re not being visually associated together. It is at best a “general” title screen. Uryuu is showing more visual interest in Ichigo than Orihime is.

I’ll come back to “the anime” in a minute. Let’s talk about their “tag-team move.” Do you mean the one that ended like this?

This one that didn’t work whatsoever?

This one where Ichigo wasn’t concerned at all that Orihime might be dead or dying as she lay there on the ground?

This one where he absolutely gave into despair?

How romantic. Truly, what an excellent battle-couple they make. Their combat effectiveness and synergy is just astounding. I for one would love to see it animated.

(Let’s not forget that later, Orihime can’t repair Zangetsu without some nonsense shenanigans from Tsukishima either. Just like how her healing abilities are useless against any sufficiently strong residual reiatsu. Ah, but that would require reading the manga closely...)

Finally, on to the idea of the anime returning. Here’s the thing: news about a trailer also doesn’t really mean anything. Sure, it could be TYBW. Or it could be The Honey Dish Rhapsody. Or it could be a thousand other things. I neither know, nor particularly care, what it actually is, on top of my explanations as to why animating TYBW would be a dumb business decision.

Here’s why: even if it is a TYBW anime, it will have to be an adaptation of TYBW. They will still have to follow the plot of TYBW. And TYBW was a pile of shit. It wasn’t just a pile of shit for IR, it was a pile of shit in general, and a pile of shit for IH in particular.

Perhaps you don’t recall that Orihime spends most of the arc off-panel, having been ditched in Hueco Mundo for most of it (chapters 500–586)?

Oh, but just think, you wouldn’t just get to see the Ichigo-Orihime “tag team” attack totally and utterly failing! You’d also get delights like:

Orihime and Chad utterly failing to believe in Ichigo! (Just like in the Xcution arc where it was demonstrated that Byakuya was a truer friend to Ichigo than either of them!)

Orihime being reduced to a pair of tits, each bigger than her own head!

Ichigo totally ignoring Orihime!

And who can forget the delight of Orihime selling out her dignity to dress slutty at Kisuke’s suggestion to try and get Ichigo’s attention, only for it to not work at all?

Yes, truly, TYBW would be a fantastic arc for IH that would surely win over the populace and convince everyone of the chemistry between these two characters!

Except it wouldn’t. Because they have no chemistry. And they didn’t. See, what’s really funny is that not only did TYBW not give you anything, but it was just following up on the Xcution arc not giving you anything.

Because ORIHIME VISION was played for laughs, just like say, Shuhei constantly is.

Because despite Chad and Orihime being about as important to Ichigo, he couldn’t even bother to say bye.

Because he just didn’t have time to deal with her bullshit.

I could go on, but this post is already long enough.

You see, you’re real keen to dismiss "all the scene or poem shit or parallel or the hell else thing," but the truth is, that’s all there is to a manga. It is panels of art and text on a page. The rest is just in your head. And it is from those panels of art and text that animated scenes and spoken dialogue would be created. And the funny thing is... there are no IH moments in these arcs. They simply don’t exist.

So really, what you’re hoping and praying for is not just for TYBW to be adapted. Given your evident thirst, I doubt that the perhaps 5–10 minute epilogue of 685/686 at the end of 4–5 seasons would be enough for you. You’d need the animation team to decide to sprinkle in a whole lot of IH filler along the way too.

That didn’t work out so hot for the Xcution arc. How did that one end again? Oh, that’s right: they made up their own (better) ending for it. Are you really willing to bet your money on a TYBW anime going out of its way for IH, if you even get it? Or would you really be satisfied with those 5–10 minutes? Are you really so sure you’d even still get them?

Ultimately, I don’t care. You’re blocked. But, I will say this: in a way I almost kind of pity you. It seems really sad being a militant anonymous IH, desperately and eternally craving outside validation. You have so very little to cling to. It must be hard.

Good luck with that, Heather.

#Asks

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notanerrandboy · 4 years ago

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Smiling out loud - Chapter 11

Chapter title: Dream a little dream

Summary: A sudden experience changes Matsumoto’s perspective of things.

Characters: Matsumoto, Hamada, Hôsei, Endô, Tanaka

Character count: 2545

Disclaimer: I’m only doing this for fun!

(Crossposted on AO3)

~~~

Matsumoto Hitoshi wasn’t what you’d call a dreamer, or at least he himself didn’t think so. I don’t have time for dreams, he liked to say when someone asked him about it, I sleep to get sleep. He didn’t even remember dreaming at night - sure, he could talk about a dream he’d had as a child in front of lots of people or mention something briefly when he was out drinking with his closest friends, but when it came down to it he hadn’t had a dream that had felt even close to real for a very, very long time.

Maybe that was why he was so persistent on making his waking dreams be fulfilled. He had always aspired to be famous, but the sad truth was that reality wasn’t perfect, even if he was one of Japan’s most famous comedians now. It was paperwork, lots of planning and thinking, social events - pure work. It definitely got on Matsumoto’s nerves sometimes.

So the days floated by, one after another. Matsumoto let out a big yawn where he was sitting in the company’s minivan - driving around like this could make anyone tired but he felt exhausted… for over thirty years he’d fought everything and everyone to get to where he was now, but it happened more and more often these days that he’d nod off where he was sitting, despite not even being physically tired - perhaps he was bored, maybe it was as simple as that.

So when Matsumoto got out of the car this particular day to enter Nittere’s building and record Gaki no Tsukai he was pleasantly surprised when he saw that his partner Hamada actually met him by the door.

At least he was in the beginning.

~~~

Matsumoto knew he was dreaming.

The Hamada standing in front of him looked like he usually did, but at the same time there was something about his childhood friend that was totally different and he felt frustration build up inside him as he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.

“What’s with that look, I just said “Welcome home”. Aren’t you gonna answer me?” Matsumoto had been staring at his partner’s mouth as it moved, but the sharpness of the words made him sober up. Like always. At least there was no difference there.

“…I’m home?”

Hamada nodded, hands on his hips as he grinned cheekily. “Good. Welcome home.”

While his partner turned around to walk into a nearby room Matsumoto looked around. No, this definitely wasn’t the recording studio of Gaki, neither was it a room that he recognised even in the slightest. It was bright and sparsely filled with furniture, and in the big windows to his right curtains were floating back and forth in the slight summer breeze. This is a nice room, Matsumoto decided, and he sat down in one of the creamy white sofas facing the windows.

“You’re early today, was something cancelled?” Two long glasses filled with some sort of colourful drink were placed on the table in front of him, making it easy for Matsumoto to imagine him being a guest on one of their own shows. So this is how it feels, huh.

He touched the glass, trying to evade the question.

“Not really. Just got off early. Why do you ask?”

Hamada sat down next to him, one leg over the other. “No reason. It’s always nice when you get home earlier, gives us more time to spend together.”

Matsumoto looked at Hamada while a lump of worry grew in his stomach. Nice? Since when did we ever spend time together outside of recording our shows? And he tensed as he noticed his partner had scooted closer to him.

“When it’s just the two of us… I guess it feels kind of relaxing in a way.” He took Matsumoto’s hand. “We haven’t really been able to just sit down in a while, and I can hardly remember us reminiscing about the past…”

Matsumoto let out a relieved breath. Hamada seemed content with leaning against his shoulder and holding his hand, and he could live with that. It actually made him feel nice - a part of him had probably missed this part of Hamada, the part that he’d lost sight of somewhere on the way to becoming celebrities… and now he somehow appeared in a very realistic dream…

They sat together in silence as the wind blew gently through the curtains and the sunlight peeked through the trees in the garden. Somewhere in the distance children laughed, and suddenly Hamada got up, smiling widely.

“It’s about time!” He disappeared into what Matsumoto could only assume was the kitchen before he even got the chance to ask what was going on. A “help me out?” made him get up as well and he followed his partner.

“What’s going on?”

Hamada gave him an incredulous look, pushing a kettle of tea into his hands. “What do you mean, what’s going on? The kids come home around this time on tuesdays! Put the tea on the table now!” Matsumoto couldn’t make sense of what his partner was saying but he did what he was told, wondering to himself what kids Hamada were talking about until the door flew open and three small boys came running in - one older boy and two younger, all three of them carrying the same kind of red backpack. They took off their shoes and hats as they continued to laugh and make lots of noise.

“We’re home!”

Hamada emerged from the kitchen, carrying some fruits and cookies to the table. “Welcome home, kiddos. Want some snacks?”

“Yup!”

Then the children noticed Matsumoto standing frozen in the middle of the room, and they started shouting loudly.

“You’re home!”

And if Matsumoto hadn’t realised it before he sure did now, as the three children threw themselves into his arms, making them all fall to the floor.

“Why are you here?” the oldest asked, the one with squishy cheeks that resembled Hôsei. The taller of the other two younger boys who, quite literally, was a miniature Tanaka answered him before Matsumoto could do it himself.

“Maybe he got home earlier, and I think that’s good!”

“I think so too!” the youngest shouted, sporting a trademark Endô-grin, before hugging Matsumoto tightly.

“Hey, be careful not to hurt him.” Hamada pulled Endô from Matsumoto, and Matsumoto couldn’t help muttering “you’re one to talk” which earned him a light slap to the back of his head - but when he looked up he found his partner smiling, and he took his outstretched hand to get up. “Now, let’s eat.”

The meal went by very quietly, except for when Hamada asked the boys about school, and Matsumoto thought about the peculiar feeling of calmness that he was feeling as he sipped on his tea. It almost felt like one of their Gaki-meetings, but still… this was much more familiar. Everyone laughed and spoke kindly to one another, no-one pointed out mistakes or joked too much, and this much time didn’t usually pass before someone raised their voice or hit someone. Matsumoto felt like… he almost didn’t dare to even think it out loud… he felt like he was home.

“There was a quiz today,” Tanaka said and carefully gave Endô, who was squirming in the couch next to him, a look. “And En-chan didn’t do that well…”

Endô sighed as all eyes turned to him. “I’m not good with kanji, and this is the fourth test I barely passed…”

“Why don’t you ask Tanaka for help?” Hamada suggested, but to this Endô shook his head violently.

“Nao-chan already helped me study and it still doesn’t work so I can’t ask for more now..!”

Tanaka quickly grabbed his hand. ”It’s okay, I’ll definitely help you more if you want to. You help me with other things, right?” And the cute nicknames and the way the two of them looked so small and vulnerable became too much for Matsumoto’s heart to deal with, so he opened his mouth to speak to the children for the first time in this dream.

“Accept the offer, Endô. I believe in you - if you just continue to study well I’m sure you’ll ace the next test.” The smiles he got from the future members of Cocorico made his throat thicken, but thankfully Hôsei chose this moment to interrupt.

“I wrote a song in school today and everybody loved it!” He got up to play on the piano that just happened to stand by the wall, and soon he was singing to his heart’s content.

“Yamasaki ichiban~ Yamasaki ichiban~”

It wouldn’t surprise me if he actually had composed this in school, Matsumoto thought as he playfully held his hands to his ears and laughed with the others, Hamada getting up to stop him from playing.”That’s enough, we’ve heard it now, Yama-chan. I’m glad everybody appreciated it at school but it doesn’t mean that we love it to death, okay?”

“We liked it a lot,” Endô said and smiled as he held Tanaka’s hand in a firm grip.

Hôsei got down and returned the smile. “Thanks! I’m off to study with Komu now, see you later!”

“Be home before nine!” Hamada called after him, receiving a quick “yes!” before the door slammed shut and Hôsei was gone.

Hamada turned to ruffle Endôs hair.

“Baseball practice in an hour and homework done before that, okay?” Endô laughed and nodded, pulling Tanaka with him into the house and shutting a door belonging to a room at the far end of a corridor. And suddenly Downtown was on their own again.

“They’re so energetic, all three of them,” Hamada sighed and started to carry the dishes away. “Time sure did fly… They were so small a moment ago and look at them now…”

Matsumoto listened carefully, eager to get some more information on how things were in this dream, but he soon realised that Hamada had left him so he stood up to look for clues instead. Photos, perhaps? Yes, he saw a couple of frames standing on a shelf by the piano, and he felt a smile tug at his lips as he took a closer look at the one on the far right.

He saw a younger Hamada, with Endô and Tanaka hugging him and laughing. Cocorico couldn’t be more than five years old, maybe six… a photo from a shrine stood next to it, and he guessed that he himself looked about 15 in it. When seeing this he unconsciously touched his hairline with his hand, and he felt cold for a split second. Of course, if the age difference was anything to go by he still had hair! But he decided not to think too much about it and instead moved his focus to the next photo, which made his mouth open in surprise.

“You remember that one, right?” Hamada stood next to him and looked over his shoulder, smiling warmly at the picture. It was similar to the first picture he’d seen, but this time Cocorico had their hands around his neck as they pressed their lips to his cheeks. “It was Endô’s idea, and I couldn’t stop him. I think it turned out pretty cute, you’re even blushing a little~” He snickered and put the pictures back on the shelf. “We’re very lucky to be big brothers to such cute and amazing boys.” he said and he took Matsumoto’s hand again, and Matsumoto could only agree. Even if this dream had frightened him in the beginning he had to admit that he was happy about it now. That he was comfortable here, that he’d had a nice time. That he’d gladly return if he could.

But it was time to wake up now.

—

“Matsumoto-san! We’re here!”

The comedian slowly opened his eyes and was shocked to find himself still sitting in the minivan. Had he not even left it before falling asleep? He got out of the car and allowed himself to be led inside Nittere's building, only this time for real. He walked up the stairs with tired steps, still with the dream fresh in his mind - clear and more vivid than he’d like it to be - and startled when he heard someone screaming.

“Oi, Matsumoto!” And there he was, his partner, alive and real and just as expressive as he always was, but at the same time he felt different. Hamada scolded him for being late, but he was only listening with one ear. In front of him dream-Hamada and the real Hamada merged together, and maybe there was some truth to what people said about feelings changing after dreaming about people after all?

He got to learn the answer as soon as he rounded the corner and met the three younger members of Gaki.

“Good evening, Matsumoto-san!” Cocorico and Hôsei were all smiles when greeting him, which didn’t make things any easier for Matsumoto.

“Good evening.” he muttered awkwardly and sat down on a chair, next to Hamada. He wondered if the others had noticed it, that he was seeing them differently now? Again he tuned out from the conversation and was only brought back to reality when Hamada nudged his shoulder. He nodded absentmindedly and tried to listen in on what they were talking about.

“…so Suga pays for everything?” The producers nodded from their seats at the end of the table.

“Yes. Just don’t do anything extreme and it’ll be fine. It’s the least we can do after thirty years.”

“You mean when Downtown started this? And Hôsei-san?” Endô gave Suga a questioning look. “Me and Tanaka hasn’t been part of this show for that long.”

“But it feels like that.” Everyone was now looking at Matsumoto, who cursed himself for saying something so sentimental, but the damage was already done so he looked straight at his younger colleagues.

“Gaki felt complete only after you joined. We’ve been five since then, and we always will be. And what are we talking about, dinner?” His attempt to change the subject wasn’t that successful, and he still caught a glimpse of Cocorico’s faces as he turned away (they were so similar to the ones in his dream it wasn’t even funny) but thankfully the others catched on and started talking about something else, and while they did that he came to a realisation.

Maybe he’d felt all this before today, maybe it was a lasting effect from his dream, but one thing was certain - from today and onwards he’d put in some effort into being kinder towards the others. Kind, strong, safe, warm.

Like a big brother to his younger brothers.

He smiled to himself.

They’d truly become a family.

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izzy-b-hands · 5 years ago

Text

You Send Me: Chapter One

So, time for something a little bit self-indulgent, but that I hope y’all might enjoy as well!

Title comes from the song by Sam Cooke, he has a voice smooth like butter and as beautiful as sunshine, so give that a listen before or after you read this, just so long as you listen to it lol.

This is my first trans (FtM) reader/Freddie fic, with a dash of my usual gen Queen fic antics thrown in. I have it taking place during the American and Canadian tour that Queen was on in 1978, in a bit of an AU version of it where Freddie is A. for sure single and ready to mingle so to speak, and B. the crew would be willing to pick up a new road crew member that was a novice and take them on tour!

I’m trying to keep it from seeming too personal to me, though I admit part of the reason I’m writing it is because this is also something I’ve been wanting to read lol. I didn’t intend for it to be multi-chapter (especially since I have another multi-chapter fic for a different fandom I still need to finish...) but that’s where it went!

That said, if everyone seems a little rude and stiff in this first chapter, it’s because they (like the tour) are just getting warmed up, and we’ll get to some real fun and found family things as the fic goes on!

Here’s to hoping I’ve done okay on this first chapter, and my love to all who read/like/reblog!

“New kid is gonna tip over,” John muttered, pointing you out to Roger.

Admittedly, the amp was at least the size of your torso if laid vertically against you, but it wasn’t overly heavy, just kind of, and you didn’t think you looked all that awkward.

Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

“He can hear you,” Roger said after another puff on his cigarette. “Whisper, at least.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. The teasing, you had been warned, was all in good nature, and everyone went through it their first tour with Queen. No one was actually out to hurt feelings, at least not intentionally, and by the end each person had a new nickname from the band as a result. It was like the first odd holiday with a significant other’s family, or so you figured, having not actually experienced that yourself, but having heard horror stories.

“He can’t hear me,” John protested.

“I can,” you spoke up, fighting to hide how out of breathe you were getting holding up the amp. Where the fuck was Crystal with the dolly to finish moving everything?

“Ah,” was all John said in reply, his eyes watching your arms as they shook just slightly.

“For pity’s sake!”

Before you could so much as try and readjust the amp in your arms, half of it was out of your arms and into Freddie’s, who had come out of seemingly nowhere.

“Waiting on Crystal?” he asked calmly, as if having to help out his road crew like this was utterly par the course.

“I am,” you replied. “Should someone go check on him?”

“Oh no,” Freddie shook his head. “He’s probably having a cigarette outside.”

You nodded, then frowned and shook your head. “But he told me he’d be right back to put this in the-”

The reality of the slightly mean prank slowly dawned on you.

“We should probably set this down, shouldn’t we?” you muttered.

“Got nowhere else to be except the next town over,” Freddie chirped, cheerful from how fantastically the show had gone. His eyes were still alight with the night’s adrenaline. “And this amp will need to come with us, so I won’t go until it does.”

“It does get heavy, though,” you pointed out. Even Freddie’s arms were starting to twitch just a bit the longer you stood there, John and Roger giggling a few feet away.

“Think we could leave you two here all night, doing that,” Roger smirked. “You ruined it, by the way, Fred. I had a bet going with Crystal on how long he’d hold it, you owe me a tenner now.”

“We’d find plenty fun to do here together, if you abandoned us, thank you very much,” Freddie replied, sticking out his tongue at Roger before gesturing to you to help him set the amp down. “More fun then you’ll find with your tenner.”

“That a challenge?” Roger smiled, his cigarette deftly plucked from his lips before it could fall with the movement.

Freddie only shook his head before striding over and tossing Roger a ten pound bill from his pocket. “Come on now...uh...”

He winced, and you realized you hadn’t even been properly introduced to him aside from being called ‘the kid’ (a ridiculous title to you, your argument being you were only a year younger than John, making you a respectable 26.)

“Y/N,” you said, and ignored the giggles from John and Roger.

“How does an American come by that name?” Freddie asked, but there was no malice in his voice.

“Chose it myself,” you said, and shot John a look. He’d been wonderful and kind thus far about not outing your unfortunately still legal old first name to anyone, but he seemed into stirring shit up this evening, and you found yourself nervous.

“I’d like to hear sometime how you came to choose that one,” Freddie continued. You’d been warned about this, in a good way, that he had a way for making a person feel like there was no one else in the room but the two of you, and that it could be overwhelming the first time if you weren’t used to that.

You weren’t used to it, but you liked it.

“Not really that interesting of a story,” you replied softly.

One of his brows twitched just barely, and he smiled. “Fair enough, if you say. But I’d like to hear it regardless.”

“Really?”

Before he could reply, you all turned to the sound of footsteps heading out the door.

“Did Crystal forget us?” John asked less to anyone but to the door outside as it slammed shut and the lights in the backstage area flicked off.

The only visible light was the tip of Roger’s cigarette, as he puffed and replied. “Think that might be a yes.”

You stood stock-still, afraid to accidentally trip over the amp and somehow hurt it. There was the sound of scuffling footsteps, and once all three of them seemed to be gone, you let out a soft sigh.

“God, I know,” Freddie sighed.

The urge to jump a foot was hard to resist, but you managed it. “I thought you left with them.”

“Thought about it,” Freddie said. “But they’ll come back for us, and someone needs to watch the amp.”

“I’m here,” you reminded him, though you didn’t exactly relish the idea of being alone in a theater that felt just as empty as you knew it was.

“But why should you have to stay alone? You’d stay for me, I’m sure,” Freddie replied.

“That’s a little bit different.”

You couldn’t see the glint in Freddie’s eye, but you had seen it often enough and could tell by the weight of the silence that it was there.

“Is that so? How is it different?”

“Well,” you swallowed a breath, fighting off the odd set of nerves that had just awakened, as you hadn’t felt nervous around the crew or band aside from ‘new job jitters’ until now. “You’re the talent. I mean, my main job is just getting coffee, toting things around, doing what Crystal tells me, doing what you guys tell me, doing what anyone else tells me-”

Freddie interrupted you with a giggle. “Make it sound more glamorous, why don’t you.”

“It still is!” you insisted. “I mean, this is what I signed up for, I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful-”

He interrupted you again with a laugh. “Stop that, I’m only teasing. No one mentioned you were so sensitive.”

You opened your mouth to reply, then closed it for a moment. “Teasing?”

“Now he’s getting it,” Freddie smiled, and you could just make it out as your eyes adjusted to the dark.

A comfortable silence settled over you both as you waited.

And waited.

Finally you both ended up sat by the amp, leaning just so slightly against each side of it.

“He doesn’t do this often, does he?” you asked.

“Crystal? No, never,” Freddie replied, and bit at his lip. You could see the wheels turning, him working over exactly what Crystal’s deal tonight must be to have forgotten not only equipment, but band members and crew at the venue. “I mean, he’ll play that joke, have you hold something expensive and heavy longer than you should have to before he comes in to help you carry out and be packed, but if this is another version of that...”

“Not a fan?”

“Not really, no,” Freddie answered. “Not that I’m stuck here with you, just that we’re stuck here at all. I should be sleeping at the hotel, and you should be...well, getting into whatever mischief you want with the rest of the crew.”

“I don’t think they’re interested in any of that with me,” you admitted. It felt safe to talk about it in the dark, when you could only just make each other out. “I haven’t really fit in yet, but this is my first tour, and I mean, I wasn’t even with you until we met in the first city here, and that’s not the time to get to know someone, I figure, and-”

Freddie hushed you softly, sweetly. “I’m getting to know you, and we’re in a city, on tour, essentially working. What would prevent them from doing the same thing, in a moment or two of down time?”

You didn’t have a good answer for that. You had tried to get along with the road crew, but in their defense, most of them had been on at least one tour before this. They had their methods, rhythms, routines, and you, as the new kid, were a kink in those that maybe wasn’t exactly welcomed.

And of course, you didn’t want to think it might be the one thing you were desperately worried it was.

It wasn’t like it was a secret. The only reason you knew the crew member who had gotten you this job was due to meeting him while in Europe, getting treatment for your transition. Presumably, he had told the band and the rest of the crew how you had met.

But you didn’t want to think that you were transgender would be enough reason for the crew to avoid you, not when they otherwise seemed kind and accepting, like a family with their playful teasing and poking at each other, even at the band.

But.

You couldn’t know for sure that it wasn’t the reason. The reason they hadn’t mentioned the nights they were going for drinks after a show, didn’t seem to be interested in getting to know you.

It was like Freddie could see clear through you in the dark. “I don’t think it’s for the reason you might be thinking about. And if I should find it is, please know they would be talked to straight away. That wouldn’t be acceptable, not in our little touring family.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “Thank you. I don’t think it’s that either. I hope not, at least.”

“Like I say,” Freddie said. “If you should find out that would be the reason, you let me know, and I’ll set them straight. But I’d gather it’s just because they’re not used to having new blood on the crew. You said this is your first tour?”

You nodded. “But I worked at a venue in my hometown before. So I know how to do it once you get settled, it’s the in-between bits I’m still learning, maybe not as fast as I should be.”

“I can’t speak for the rest of the crew,” Freddie said. “But I think you’re doing just fine. Don’t fuss over it, even if they get on you. You’re doing your best, right?”

You nodded again.

“Well, you can’t do anymore than that,” Freddie said with a finality. “And I’m told my standards are sky-high and ridiculous at times, so if you’ve impressed me, then surely you must be doing well, right?”

“I suppose,” you replied with a smile. “But that’s not the impression I have of you. You’re the first band member to even talk to me this much.”

The light from the opening doorway filtered in, and with it you could see the concern on Freddie’s face at that last statement. “That will change.”

He said it as a fact, and you weren’t about to question him as he gently took you by the arm and led you outside, brushing past Crystal and another tech as they stumbled in with myriad apologies falling from their lips, reaching to pick up the amp for you before they were even close enough to do so.

“Thank you for staying with me,” you said as the two of you reached the tour bus. “And talking to me, and just...everything. I feel a lot better about being out here, like I might belong at some point.”

“You belong now,” Freddie said, almost sternly, yet kindly. His eyes met yours, and there was an intensity behind them. He meant what he was saying, that much was incredibly clear. “Don’t let anyone tell you different.”

His hand lingered on yours for just a moment before he stepped onto the first step into the bus. “And we’ll be talking again, of course, so if anyone should try and tell you otherwise...”

“I let you know,” you replied, and tried and failed to hide the blush that rose to your face. This wasn’t something to be taken the way you were taking it now, you knew from everyone else that Freddie charmed pretty much everyone he got to know.

But it was sincere in the kindest, warmest way, and the way his eyes had met yours, and his hand had lingered left you going over that part of the night over and over again in your head. Even the news of the need to drive through the night now, since the crew had accidentally messed up the time table some with their unintentionally long prank on you and Freddie, didn’t shake you from the reel of the night playing in your mind.

#text post #LeeH writes #Queen band fic #freddie mercury x reader #freddie mercury x male reader

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