#i cant tell my parents things half the time because they dont get it and because it's so hard to be vulnerable

[mainfaggot]

little sisters are a test from god actually

[koushirouizumi]

ME, rubbing my hands ALL over my Adv+02 Chosen head-canons BECAUSE I CAN: Wow I can't believe people like me with my specific background existed in the early 2000's and in the year '02 THIS ENTIRE TIME!!!

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

I can not tell if harley is sick or if her allergies are just worse this year

Other than more frequent sneezing and being a little quieter and a little extra sleepy last week shes acting totally normal

But shes not lethargic. She didn't eat or drink much yesterday but sometimes that fluctuates anyway and shes been eating and drinking just fine today and had been before yesterday except maybe Wednesday but the weather was fluctuating again and allergens were high that day

Its possible shes having a reaction to the carpet cleaner cuz that was in and on my vacuum when I used it Monday (and her symptoms showed up soon after that) and I havent washed my rug so its possible I didn't get all of it back out of the rug after the vacuum spit it out

So im gonna clean my room this week and dust and wash everything and see if that helps

Like she was less sneezey when my mom took her outside earlier than she's been in the house all week (and she spends most of her time in my room)

She was doing yoga

[kings-highway]

some safe-for-work headcanons regarding how they might of gone about having sex for the first time for some of my favouritr haikyuu ships:

daisuga: look you know these bitches had it scheduled. not like a meticulous planned thing, but it was definitely something they knew was going to happen in advance. Like they talked about it, agreed they both wanted it, and then 3 weeks later Suga's parents go away for the weekend and they know like a solid week in advance that their "hang out" on Saturday evening is basically exclusively so they can have sex. They're very prepared. This also probably makes that week of training super annoying for the team bc they cant figure out why their captains are being SO overly giggly like you are seventeen/eighteen year old men wtf is going on.

iwaoi: i've always thought they were probably way more nervous than any of their friends assumed and definitely did not have sex as early as people thought. like mattsun and makki both constantly tease them in a way that insinuates they're actively having sex but they probably didnt actually do it until like... the last few months of high school. They were both just nervous! Iwa was very afraid of rushing things and doing it "wrong," and Oikawa wasnt even sure what doing it "right" would be so they had like 6 false-starts before they actually managed it.

ushiten: dorm living is not condusive to intimacy so when for the first time in like 8 months since they started dating that they have a confirmed evening with a locked dorm alone they end up making out for just a crazy amount of time. Tendou is too nervous to actually move anything forward because he's too anxious over the possibility of rejection but he keeps making these weird half-insinuations like "haha I cant believe nobody's going to be back for another four hours... we could do anything and get away with it... isnt that so funny... like nobody would know if we were making out or having sex or just reading a book... haha... isnt that crazy... me and you..." and he's all weird and twitchy about it until Ushijima tells him he doesn't think the idea of them having sex is crazy at all and then it is on immediately.

kuroken: highkey, kuroo probably lays out like a whole romantic, corny ass evening with candles and rose petals and is prepared to have a whole long conversation about being "ready" and Kenma just sort of rolls his eyes and is like "have you finished talking? this is Too Much. I need you to understand this is Too Much. Oh my god I love you but WOW." (it works anyway and Kenma is sufficient wooed).

tsukkiyama: this one might be a little out there but I genuinely think they're the most likely to have it happen by accident, or in a spontaneous moment of opportunity. Like they both intend to just take advantage of the empty house with only a bit of making out and then suddenly they're losing their clothes and it's like "we'll have a conversation about it tomorrow, im sure."

kagehina: okay this one is more stupid but I imagine after they've been dating a while Hinata is like "you know what, im ready to take the next step" but Kageyama cannot read ppl so Hinata's somewhat obvious attempts at seduction go entirely over his head, and Hinata is getting increasingly frustrated and dramatic and trying really really hard to get Kageyama to realize what he wants and it ends up causing a fight between them because Kageyama thinks Hinata is being weird and Hinata thinks Kageyama is being intentionally distant and eventually Kageyama blows up and is like "Oh my god if you want to break up or something just say so!!!" and Hinata is like "Oh my GOD I dont want to break up with you I want to have sex with you!!!" and of course that shuts everyone up and unfortunately Yachi is probably also there and wants to die.

[midnight--sadness]

do u have hcs for pregnant gi-hun? or just in general the 457 dynamic while gi-hun is knocked up

yes, i do bc i think abt pregnant gihun more than i think abt my own grandma

i feel like my very first hc is that i think they're having twins!

gihun is the type of pregnant person who glows. his skin is smoother, his hair is shinier, his cheeks are flushed, he gains weight in all of the right places (cough ass tits thighs cough), he has virtually no stretch marks. its like he was made to be pregnant.

while his physical appearance improves, i think gihun would be an emotional wreck. he is already prone to outbursts and i think pregnancy would worsen it. he once stopped talking to inho for two days bc inho had to stay at work until late at night and didnt eat at home.

he talks to the babies all the time, non stop, even when he is only a few weeks along and not showing.

his weird pregnancy craving is a piece of white bread stuffed with apple jam and a shrimp dumpling. inho gags when he first makes it and tries to get gihun to eat something else but gihun loves it so much that inho ends up making it for him when gihun wakes it with a craving.

gihun is super relaxed bc he has been through this once with gayeong but inho is a stressed, protective mess. he barely lets gihun out of his sight, insists on going to every doctor's appointment and asks them to run every test and exam possible because he couldnt bear it if gihun got sick like his wife and he and the babies died again.

inho would decorate the nursery with soft pastels (pink, green, yellow, purple) and buy all kinds of toys to improve the babies' development.

on that note, he would read a million parentings books. gihun on the other hand is more of an "instinctual" person, convinced that he'll know what to do when he gets there.

the first person inho tells is junho because there are some concerns he doesnt feel good talking about to gihun. he confides in his brother his fears and junho assures him that everything will be fine and nothing will happen to gihun or the babies.

the first person gihun tells is inho of course. he cant keep a secret to save his life and he knows inho will be excited. when inho's reaction is to immediately be worried, he is a bit disappointed but he understands.

the good thing of having two babies is that gihun and inho dont have to fight over names and each pick one they like.

gihun LOVES using the pregnancy as an excuse for anything - he wants to sit on the couch watching trash tv all day? he wants to eat half the things on the dinner table? he wants to watch a sad movie despite knowing that he'll cry for an hour straight after it is over? he wants inho to skip work so they can cuddle in bed? well the babies want all of those things 🥰

what hcs do you guys have???

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’ve read through some of your old posts and I gotta say…I love me some angst. May I kindly, pretty please with a plastic cherry on top, ask for TADC gang with an S/O who abstracted a while back, but then they ‘respawn’ one day with a glitch affect about them, and their memory was totally wiped? Like it was their first day in the digital world? The glitch affect doesn’t hurt them or anyone like what happened to Ragetha and Pomni btw.

TADC cast x mended!reader

so funny story i was about to sit down and work on this about 4 hours ago but then my parents said they were going to watch the fnaf movie in the garage and i literally dropped everything and watched it so uh uh. the reason the grind stopped was because of fnaf movie and now im kinda tempted to pick up my fnaf fic again anyways! i did a similar post, here! jax and caines parts here will be short, really only focusing on the glitch aspect for them in this post, since the other half has already been written!

CAINE:

just got flashed with an image but you know that scene where the iron giant is trying to pick the boy up but hes like limp or something and the giant pulls back (ive never watched iron giant i just know this clip from a meme) i think it would be like that if he tried to poof your glitching away; but like. in an emotional way, if that makes sense. like its the same kind of carefulness and worry, i think... bonus if he does more damage than not

JAX:

honestly a little too scared to even touch you out of the deep seeded fear of getting all glitchy as well. like he knows it wont spread to him, but you know...

POMNI:

similar to jax i think she would instinctively avoid touching you even though she knows its fine... the whole hand thing making her overly cautious for future scenarios, you know? i think she would slip up and accidentally bring up something you and her did before you abstracted, or call you an endearing name before abruptly stopping herself and trailing off, sad stuff. grief makes her tear between wanting to find an exit faster and trying to make you remember/stay for you

RAGATHA:

poor girl :( i think she would genuinely try to make an effort to re/befriend you and try not to have her hopes too high for the two of you to get back together. if you hear about your past relationship and want to learn more about it, shell tell you what you want to know, but i doubt she would instantly start dating you again if you suggest the two of you trying to give the relationship a second shot... i think that would need some time

KINGER:

bro is gonna be going through it, first he loses his possible wife to abstraction and now he lost you.. got you back, but you dont remember anything. on top of that you look.. off.. sure it doesnt hurt you but it still looks like it would be uncomfortable, even if it isnt

stuck between longing to rekindle your old relationship and letting you go in order to allow himself to process this grief; the third option is potential abstraction for himself

ZOOBLE:

tries not to care. they want to forget everything like you did, they were finally starting to be normal after your abstraction. but now your back in a clean slate, mind wiped and memories gone. how does someone cope with that? as much as it hurts them they think it would be best for them to pretend you were a stranger again

GANGLE:

saying it again, poor girl. mix of pomni and ragatha here i think, like she keeps messing up and verbally reminiscing before realizing you cant relate to what shes saying anymore. will tell you anything you want to know about the past, but i think it would take a lot longer for her to consider getting with you again than ragatha. for both its kind of a "i dont want them to feel obligated to try because we were together once" type deal

[crushedsweets]

I would like to ask if the creepypastas know what happened to each other? Like do Tim and Brian know what happened in Toby’s and Kate’s childhood/past? And if they do know how did they find out?

some do!! this kinda half-assed answers your question cuz i included all 16, so its kinda difficult to cover everyone neatly!

for kate... i dont think anyone but toby and MAYBE clocky/nina would know what happened to her. she doesnt want to talk about it at all, and toby would only find out by connecting the dots of random stuff shes said.

i think toby is pretty open about what happened to him. he'd be very quick to make jokes or casually be like "yea i got the shit bullied out of me". so people are familiar, HOWEVER i dont think a lot of them really understand how bad it was for him bc hes so casual with it. i think tim and brian probably caught toby losing him mind, having nightmares, screaming and he'd be like "you dont get it you dont fucking know the shit that happened to me" etc etc. with clocky or kate or EJ, he'd be SLIGHTLY more vulnerable. tell them about lyra and connie, but he's just uncomfortable with that stuff

tim wouldnt really want to talk about his childhood or everything he lost either. i think he'd only bring it up with toby in the event that toby needed comfort, or something to ground/relate to (i.e hospital visits, schizophrenia, loss) OR if someone implies tim has it better than them. then he's like WHAT the fuck do you think you know about me. otherwise he rather not.

brian is pretty similar. he just doesnt wanna talk about it. brushes things off pretty easily, tries to joke about it, or he says something like "it sucked but im here now. gotta keep pushing, why dwell". . .

clockwork keeps that shit to her chest. the most she'd bring up is like "yea i grew up poor, dad was a nutcase, i dont wanna talk about my brother" or implying other people have it easier than she did (which is true 90% of the time. she had it rough). i think only toby and nina would get a better idea of what really happened to her, but she just doesnt like to think about it. itd be a similar case where they catch her having a panic attack or nightmare and she chokes something out .

nina spills everything she doesnt really care. she likes to talk and share and spill her guts, so everyone is pretty familiar with all her ex boyfriends, workaholic parents, getting bullied, whatever. shes a bit more hesitant to bring up certain things that SHE'S done (cheating, cyberstalking, self harm, etc) but she'll happily share times she was a victim to others

EJ would share about his family very freely, and i think if someone asked, he'd tell them about jenny. so i guess it just depends on who cares to ask ? toby, clocky, maybe tim/brian would. jeff and ben might ask like "hey why are you ugly now" and he would not tell them . cuz he needs whoever he tells to ask genuinely and treat it seriously

similar to nina, jeff just yaps and yaps and goes off about how hard he had it (completely warping the story and lying half the time). so he'll just bring it up to brag or compare or compete or prove a point, but its never done very.. vulnerably?

ben doesnt talk about any of it. most of the group knows, because his case (yk, 13 yr old boy kidnapped and murdered amongst several other young teens..) got really big and everyone kinda talked about it without him. he doesnt want pity or to think about it. he'd only bring it up with sally, i think, cuz he feels a bit more seen by her

sally would only tell jane and clocky. i genuinely cant see a reason she'd ever bring it up to anyone else, and those two are the only ones she'd trust (and mary but marys not that big in my au)

jane tells people pretty openly, because she was a victim of jeffs stalking. she tries to make her story more...inspirational? because after all her pain and loss, she still went to law school and all of that. or if someone tries to diminish her pain, she'd be like 'watch your mouth.' i think she'd tell nina and liu. for nina, it'd be like "you dont even care do you? you still love that man after everything? how can you look me in the eye, knowing all he's done, and tell me you idolize him?" and for liu it would be more about like. closure maybe? part of her resents liu even though it was NOT his fault whatsoever and he's also a victim, but shes mature enough to try and navigate the trauma WITH him despire her pain

for liu its kinda similar, but nothing is inspirational. he would tell people because for him, its how he connects to people. connecting on trauma, even if its not the healthiest way. . . if someone asks, he tells them. its kinda sad the way he talks about jeff though. 'i just miss pushing my little brother on the swing'

dina screams and screams at everyone about "YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IVE LOST" because she was held in such a idolized position in her cult. she hates lazari and she blames everyone else because she thinks they have something to do with the devil(zalgo) and thats why god doesnt want her anymore.

lazari would cry to EJ about her nightmares of her mom, but i dont think she'd talk about it with others. it just makes her sad. maybe she'd tell jeff cuz he'd be asking and then He'd belike oh. jeez. ok. LOL. that sucks.

lulu doesnt really remember what happens to her, but everyone has an idea. she mumbles about hazing, how cold the water is, how she doesnt wanna drink again, how the sorority girls are so mean, she just wants to go back to her dorm, whatever. but its just because shes so lost in her mind

ann is more like ... sassy . brags about her redroom business and whatnot, complains about the man who killed her, gets all sultry about kate saving her from her big bad killer, whatever. but she doesnt talk about her family or how she was a femcel neet.

[faerunsbest]

Fluffy Rolan thoughts. His person forgot to mention their half siblings are tieflings and he doesn't find out until meeting them. his person mentions their siblings all the time, how they call the parent they don't share mom/dad as they raised his person, etc they just forgot the tiefling part as it's like breathing to them.

you wanna know the best part of this?

i was thinking about this last night. rolan finally tells his person likes them but it doesn't go as planned they're interrupted. so its unclear about theyre relationship status because they dont have time to acknowledge it and then when hes finally about try again, like hes frustrated because he just wants to know and then suddenly a door busts open and its this mephistoles tiefling. hes looking HELLA SUAVE. cal and lia are there and they know Rolans been flirting and trying so hard to get tavs attention but SUDDENLY tav just shoves all of them out of the way to run towards this guy who shouting for tav.

they just watch tav leap over the railing and land in this guys arms, doing that little spinny hug and Rolans heart just SHATTERS. hes so sure that must be their partner- after all they look nothing alike. Cal and lia are just stunned appalled they cant believe this is happening and Rolan does his best to stay civil even though he kind of wants to die.

this weirdo gets introduced as so many things by name sure but tav just has the biggest hero eyes over him and follows him around like a little duck. tav is so excited to introduce this guy to their friendsRolan grimaces at being introduced as a friend but stays as civil as he can. lia and rolan are sorta shell shocked and Cal is squinting at this, this whole situation. when the guy leaves tav is just so sad to them go, visibly drooping and cal just says out loud(guessing).

"Your brothers seems neat."

Tav grins bright and wide, Lia and rolan freeze.

"That my oldest brother- hes the reason i wanted to be an adventurer!"

Tav is now just rambling about all their siblings and Rolan is just drained of color, staring almost mad

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

wait bbg r u ok😭why the brain scan

ack okay boutta spill my life story one you and we'll just use this as reference whenever someone asks about this from now on

so about 2 years ago i got an concussion. its really embarrassing but i was getting in the car and ended up smacking my head above my left ear on the frame of the car door. Apparently the part of your head near your ears and on the side of your head is the most vulnerable and i jiggled by brain.

at first i brushed it off bc like its not a big deal so i hit my head a lil but it kept hurting for hours and then my vision started to go double and fuzzy so i looked up the concussion symptoms and figured it out. my parents didn't believe me bc the incident wasnt a typical concussion sorta thing so i went to sleep and woke up, head still hurting, and went to school.

at school the next day i was trying to play it off but i couldn't see very well, i was super dizzy, nauseous and my head really hurt so my bsf told me i was seeing the school nurse weather i wanted to or not.

i go to the nurse and tell her what happened and that im 99% sure i have a concussion. she feels my head, says theirs no bump which means i can't have a concussion. this is factually incorrect however bc just bc theres no external swelling doesn't mean that theres no internal swelling or damage at all so honestly fuck her. she gave me a pain pill and sent me back to class.

the rest of the school day i am in agony and cant focus on anything and just kinda sit there on the verge of tears. i finally get home and i break down crying bc my head hurts so bad and i can barely see and the light hurts my eyes like fucking hell and i think im going to die.

my dad then asks if ive been sleeping with my earbuds in and maybe thats why my head hurts and i tell him no stfu i have a concussion. My parents finally do some research and call our neighbor whose a EMT and finally accept that my brain has jiggled.

they felt super bad about not believe him and now they swear to trust me on this sorta stuff i swear theyre good parents.

anyways the protocol for concussions is to:

not read

not do strenuous activity

not do strenuous mental activity

be away from bright light

do not look at screens

and rest until you are fully sure that you are 100% healed

so i more or less did all of that. however i am a dumbass. My parents took my phone away to make sure i wouldnt use it but they forgot about my computer. anyways i was reading a really good fanfic at the time and i had just left on a cliffhanger so i cheated and went and read some when i wasnt supposed too. I dont know if i still would be fucked up if i hadn't read it? but ik that i did. and now im fucked. but as someone pointed out recently that fanfic literally changed my brain chemistry. so thats pretty cool. it is really good i reread it after my concussion like 3 times.

Anyway i was down for about a week and a half and after that i finally went to the doctor they confirmed that it was a concussion for sure and then cleared me to go back to school.

the first day back at school the first class i had was English and we had to read some sort of story or excerpt from some old english dude you know the drill.

For some context i've always been very above reading level. I started reading early and i read a lot. to the point where a lot of ppl app thought i was mute cause all i did was read. I had very high comprehension skills and was tested above average constantly my whole childhood.

So when i come back to school and i'm reading this passage i notice oh man this is really hard for some reason. Why can't i focus on the words? at the time i assumed maybe i was just still a little rattled but it hasnt gone away sense and i still really struggle with it. I have to reread passages about 5 times to understand anything, which i never had to do before. I'll have to read things out loud a lot. I struggle a lot with reading black text on white backgrounds because it doesnt like to stick in my brain at all. it just completely doesn't compute as words.

I took the ACT last year and while i didnt score BADLY (i got a 26) i didn't score as well as i wanted too. during the whole ACT i was on the verge of tears because the room was lit in very white light and the ACT papers were black text on a white paper so i could barely understand a word that i was reading and ended up having to whisper the questions to myself (very embarrassing because i was in a giant auditorium with about 70 people in it) and i still skipped a lot of questions due to the fact that i was so overwhelmed. I knew there was something wrong but we didn't really take any steps to figure it out due to the fact that my grades were still okay and yk like insurance and due to the fact that i was just really embarrassed about it and didn't want to talk about it.

I also stared to get these weird headaches. migraines run in my family so i wasnt too worried about it but heres a diagram hold on.

thats where the concussion was. Then i started to get this shooting sporadic pain in the back of my head. it would only last for a few seconds and didn't happen super frequently so i didn't think much of it but it would always happen in the same exact spot about here:

its sort of stabbing inwards which is hard to show on a diagram but as im typing this is just happened again lmaoo.

anyways i sort of put it off for a a year and a half and didn't think much of it which is why its kinda hard to say what my symptoms really are due to the fact that ive gotten used to them? i would get bouts of dizziness or nausea and just kind of assume that it was my cycle even though i may or may not be bleeding at the time.

but in the last month or so things have started to get a bit more concerning imo. so the stabbing pain is happening more now. ive started to slur my speech a little bit. Its more like my mouth gets sleepy and forgets how to make words so it kinda just skips some important motions, like i'll be saying hello my tongue will say o when the rest of my mouth will say the h sound and ive had to talk slower recently due to the fact that im having to think thru all the movements my mouth make when i talk.

Also im not sure if this is related but ive also been writing weird? like we all write letters in a certin way and all of the sudden its like my brain is trying to change it up without asking me? i wrote an F earlier and i usually write it starting at the end of the curved part and up and down and then cross it. but for some reason i started writing it with a downward stroke for no reason which catches me really off guard every time it happens.

some other things that happen a lot are

brain fog

a weird sort of semi dissociative state that could just be manipulative day dreaming

my brain feeling like its a few inches to the left/up/down

the left side of my jaw being tight

my legs give out sometimes but ive always had weak ankles so may not be related

i step on my own toes but tbh i have very long toes

and more im sure but i can't think of any rn

and again these could be related and they could not be but the thing is that i dont know anything? so hopefully i can get an appt with a neurologist and get a scan to figure it out.

according to the doctor i saw this morning its very weird for concussions to have a weird drawn out affect like this but yk

hopefully its nothing serious

but thats the gist :D

[eofoc]

day 9: relationships (part 1)

Ange & Juliet - platonic, half-siblings

Ange & Yuze (angeyuze 🌿🌊) - romantic

Mischa & Orifiel (orimischa 🗝️🦢) - romantic; art credits: first, second

Juliet & Roselyn (roseliet 🌹🕯️) - complicated; art credits: first, second

AAAHAGHG MY FAV DAY!!!!! prepare for a crazy CRAZY EXTENSIVE infodump (under the cut) ...

edit: i feel like this is already a long ass post so tbh. i might just reblog with a description of the other two (🗝️🦢+🌹🕯️) at a later time :]

idk if i need to say this but i hate incest. please block me if you engage in any sort of incest media / fiction. my ocs siblings relationship are strictly platonic

💚🧸 ill start with the siblings because they make me a bit crazy i cant lie. they are half-siblings!! juliets dad died when she was very very young (a baby basically) so she grew up with her step-father (ange's father)... she didnt really gaf about him at all though because she was mommys girl . amen

when they were younger, ange and juliet got along really well!!!! juliet loved playing the role of an older sister and she liked dragging ange around ... they also played togetjer a lot :3 but like. gradually they started getting more into their studies and all .... their parents were getting more and more antagonistic towards each other so they began piting the kids against each other as well. #divorce

as a kid ange viewed juliet as some sort of a. higher figure... something beyond his reach... a kind and silly and funny angel and the only person who treated him right honestly. so when he assumed that juliet has betrayed yuze and had his parents killed . his world Lowkey literally crumbled. i think he realized at that time that shes just a human person and can Also make mistakes.

their relationship got a bit strained because ange started to isolate himself Hard. and juliet is a naturally pushy person when it comes to others so it did make her frustrated when he wouldnt tell her anything or talk to her... wah...... ange was also being ostracized by society because of his father :( juliet tried to throw parties and warm others up to him and she was like. just act nice okay. but it failed lowkey because hes a bit of an asshole sometimes

they had a big fight over that and stopped speaking like.. at all...... ange thought juliet was setting him up and exposing him to people that dont like him when all she did was try to fix his image and reputation... whatever okay.

i also want to say theyre very similar in a lot of aspect!!! both mask their emotions to a crazy degree, usually with a smile or with humor... both kind of try to appeal to people as much as they can, but in different ways? ange mostly wants people to see him as stupid and non-threatening (opposite of his father) and juliet wants people to see her as pitiful and hard-working. they are also both mildly suicidal BUT ange is like -> i have no purpose so i should kms vs. juliet being like -> kms is the only way to escape the purpose i have in life

🌿🌊 ohhh the doomed yaoi... they make me super super sickly.... i talked about their childhood like 93849 times so . well. idk if i should do it Again . However

theyre like. childhood friends to one-sided enemies to lovers . in their childhood years yuze and ange met when yuze was helping his parents with tailoring clothes and yuze helped him out a bit (ange was afraid to speak up and yuze noticed it...) and so it began. ange kind of even in his childhood clung to yuze a lot because it seemed like he was the only one who understood him and his troubles. like even to a bigger degree than juliet could. to yuze . well he didnt think too much about it . like childhood friend yay :)

then the whole FIASCO happened. yuze jumped through 9328 mental hoops and as a 10 year old the only logical thing that made sense was that ange had something to do with the death of his parents. poor ange lost his only friend, his dad was executed and his mama now hated him more than ever and forbid juliet from meeting with him. so they were both going through it .

and then when they meet again they are literally . two different people . its like meeting a fuckign stranger because of how much theyve changed and that drives me a bit crazy. ange is hurt by the resentment yuze seems to hold for him.... yuze is like damn i have to kill this guy (he doesnt Really hide it...) but he finds out how suicidal ange is and hes like. :/. i dont like you but dont do that actually jesus christ youve had it rough. and then he finds out that ange didnt have anything to do with his parents after all and the GUILT that kicks in is crazy. and then more stuff happens (Heh

[miiilowo]

that post i reblogged has got me thinking actually. about a lot of things but mainly how people treat older kids & teenagers emotions. i remember the second i hit puberty, none of my feelings were taken seriously, or even considered. every single time i was upset about something, it didn't matter if i had reasoning, it didn't matter if it had been bothering me for weeks or months or years, it was written off and blamed on hormonal shifts, and i was told that i should calm down-- Because apparently, if your emotions are heightened due to hormones, whether it be PMS or just Being A Teenager, thats means that they aren't "real feelings" which is completely unreasonable. I remember being scared to bring up anything because I feared it'd just be discarded as 'the teenager being dramatic again', and i was far more scared to tell them that i thought i wasn't being treated like-you know-a human being? That any issue I had would be regarded as unimportant, because even outside of my parents, the general narrative is that teenagers are stupid and overemotional and never know what theyre talking about. And while I'm currently 17 (and will not be in like 2 months) I feel like now that I'm closer to being an adult [whatever that means] im suddenly being taken far more seriously on issues that wouldve been considered laughable like, 3 years ago. and that isnt fair in the slightest. its actually just sort of fucked up. i know im not the only one that thinks this, its absolutely suffocating wanting to express yourself and not being able to because for some reason half the population cant grasp that youre sentient below the age of 18. i dont really have a call to action or something, i just hope that as people my age get older they dont forget what it was like to be ignored and pushed aside b/c all of our actual emotions and thoughts were regarded as being irrational due to our age. i feel like this is especially prevalent for AFAB folks due to periods (and in general due to women being perceived as overemotional and not capable of logic as a result, but thats a whole nother conversation)

[littlebug-boy]

Ok so some more about my childhood friends gomens au

When they are about fifteen and above and below contact them, crowley starts noticing small thinks about him that feel demonic like his eyes become slited over time, his hair, which for his childhood was a natural ginger orange, becomes more of a deep red colour.

Both zira and crowley being to notice that small things start going their way, traffic lights always being green, their drink always being the perfect temperature, and as they grow older they realise these are small demoic/angelic miracles they were subconsciously creating.

With the two of them being the closest friends you have ever seen they end up telling eachother about being contactedand all the little changes, the two of them decide that they wouldn’t do what above and below wanted, they already had enough going on in their life, their school work, crowleys parents on the edge of disowning him as his appearance and behaviour became more demonic, they just didn’t want to deal with this chosen one bullshit.

They manage to ignore the calls and attempts at contact for ten or so years but on the latter half of those years things in the world start going bad and it seems its not just from hell but heaven as well.

Zira beings to second guess ignoring heaven and stars talking with crowley about possibly listening to their calls because he thinks he can help, ‘maybe if i go up there i can take them down from the inside! If we dont do something it will get worse’ and crowley is completely against the idea ‘but what if they take you and you cant do anything, what if you have zero power over what happens, cant we just stay here together, work as us rather then two separate teams’

Tag list (lmk if you want to be tagged in my stuff about this au)

@lab-coat-cat

[lesbiandarvey]

okay here are my long meandering thoughts about kathy and lewis cus im kind of obsessed with them. toxic lavender marriage 🫶

i think like, they knew of each other before getting together, yknow they ran in the same circles, so they probably met at half a dozen “coming out” parties and dinners and dances hosted by their parents. im not gonna say shes from phoenix (cus that still perplexes me.. like if he picked her to be some wealthy socialite beard, i cant imagine he’d chose a wife from phoenix??) but shes from the same east coast lifestyle he is. he was definitely a leg up for her though, he was old money and she was new upper middle class money like her father was a doctor or a lawyer or something so lewis opened a lot of doors for her socially. and like when they got married he was 23 but she was 25 so i think as a socialite unmarried woman in the 40s, 25 was pretty old like her options were dwindling. i think she had some reputation for being “spoiled goods” its the only way i can imagine lewis would marry this woman like she was engaged before and there were some rumors of her being pregnant (she wasnt but the rumor stuck) and the first time he “fell in love with her” or at least he realized this was someone he could actually spend time with, its the end of some party and he’s drunk he goes outside to get some air and she’s smoking a cigarette on the steps and he says something and she tells him to go fuck himself. and he realizes that shes just like him and shes not some wilting flower she curses with the best of them and calls him on his shit so i think thats what made him think he could be with this woman and obviously its a lavender marriage. hell never love her, im not even sure he likes her all that much but she can be a companion and an easy beard. but i think. i think she didnt know she was singing up to be in a lavender marriage! i think he tricked her with his money and his status and she bought into into it hook line and sinker and i think the biggest problem between the two of them is that she actually fell in love with him. and she thought he loved her. like he said all the right things for the six weeks they courted before getting married, and then the second they got back from their honeymoon (which was just a long weekend while he was on leave) he starts going out all hours of the night with strange men. and then she starts sleeping around with other men to get his attention but it doesn’t work cus he doesnt give a shit who she fucks. hell he even encourages it honestly i think they didnt sleep together at all before they got married and she thought it was because hes such a gentleman and then their wedding night comes around and hes really drunk (well they both are it was a party) but then he keeps having to get drunk to touch her. and then they get pregnant and he immediately stops trying to touch her. and they have some terrible fight where theyre both drunk and the baby’s crying and the nanny upstairs is trying to calm her down and theyre yelling about their lack of sex life and kathy screams at him that “sometimes a woman just wants to be fucked by her husband!” and he smirks and goes “i know right!” and she screams goddammit lewis do you have to be so fucking vulgar! and throws a glass tumblr at the wall by his head and then they dont talk for a week

and like, i think the thing about kathy and lewis is that they’ve both seen the worst in each other. she’s dragged his sorry ass out of his fathers house and made excuses for him at some dinner he got blackout drunk at and hes held her hair back as she pukes in the upstairs bathroom during some party she drank too much at. and they go from that kind of life of parties and clubbing and dinners to him being in the military and raising a child like they couldn’t really become Real Adults together. but also the fact they’ve seen each other at their absolute worst: him in his drunken self hatred, her at her postpardum depression means they know everything about each other. and instead of that knowing creating a relationship of openness and trust instead it means they both know exactly what buttons to push to make the other fucking miserable. and fundamentally i think they have some kind of murder suicide pact in their marriage. like they both think divorce is for pussies and the best place to keep a grudge is under one roof. shell stay married to him just to remind him how much she hates him and how he tricked her into marrying him and how much she resents him for it

[darkwingdukat]

I've been working at an autism center for just about 6 months now, and for that time I've been so proud of the work I'm doing and the overall goal this center strives towards that I forgot ABA therapy is still very much considered an enemy and torture for autistic people.

I don't know if my center is an anomaly in the world of ABA or if the tumblr users i saw commenting on a post about ABA aren't aware of some fundamental shifts takkng place, but the descriptions they used were so incongruous to the work i perform that I had to look up to make sure we are talking about the same therapy.

This blog has almost zero reach and I know I'm shouting into the void, but I guess my point in making this post is just. When i worked in a public school, i *wish* i had half the tools i have now. My job focuses on bridging the gap of communication between our learners and the world around them, whatever that gap may be. We get our learners school-ready, but what that means isnt "dont flap your arms" or "dont be so noisy." It means "hitting your teacher when you want something isnt okay but here is an acceptable way for you to communicate and reach an understanding." "Biting will not get you what you want, but pointing will." "Throwing yourself on the floor because you cant eat 5 cupcakes for lunch wont get us to change our minds about nutrition but hey if you take a bite of this apple you can have a bite of a treat afterwards."

(That being said, our non-preferred food programs are, in my opinion, not very necessary, but no one is forcing the foods down the kids throats. If they dont eat it, then they dont get the preferred food item. That's all. Access to other neutral foods is still perfectly acceptable.)

We dont use punishments, those are unethical. We use positive and negative reinforcement. Mostly positive. Tons of praise for socially acceptable behavior (again, im not talking about stims. We dont care about stims. Kids can flap, spin, clench, use chewelry to their hearts content. I'm talking socially appropriate as in not hitting or scratching someone. Using signs, AAC devices, or appropriate language for communication. Peeing or pooping in the potty (because yeah im working with 4, 5, 6 year old kids who arent potty trained yet)). Each kid has their own reinforcement schedule based on a variety of factors, and they have access to so many different toys, activities, and sensory objects. We let the kids tell us what they're motivated for, and from there we work on the things that will allow that child to safely and successfully integrate into a school setting. Oh, and all of our kids get 1:1 support so that the therapy is very much centered on them and them alone.

I know ABA has a sordid past. I know there are people out there today who use it reprehensibly still. I just hope that people are aware how the field is changing for the better. The company i work for has centers all throughout the midwest. What we do is not ideal for every autistic child -- we're actually trying to convince a kid's parents that we are no longer a suitable environment for them because at first they progressed wonderfully but then they became bored and their maladaptive behaviors increased instead of decreased. But for the kids who our programming is a helpful thing? Their parents cry in relief telling us how their kid isn't screaming/scratching/biting anymore. How they can take their kid to the grocery store without them running away or throwing themself on the floor. How their kid can now share toys and play with their siblings.

ABA is no longer the blanket enemy it used to be. So i guess dont just write something off immediately because "oh they use ABA? They're EVIL then!" And the UHC policy to limit access to ABA treatment can actually hurt families who desperately need help with maladaptive behaviors that are harmful to the kids, their peers, and the family itself.

[watermelonfrog2]

Do you have a dnd character or any other oc I could try to draw? (with any additional information as well bc I’ve been getting so invested in all my friends’ oc lore lmao.) I’ve been trying to draw more recently and I’ve just started collecting other’s ocs apparently. For definitely completely non nefarious purposes >:) /j

BOY DO I !!! also I saw the dnd character drawing you did for Soop it was so cool, like genuinely!!!!! I have 2 dnd characters (and one oc but I want to focus on the dnd characters!!)

---SOOP NO READING THIS ONE SPOILERS FOR THE CAMPAIGN The first one is for an active campaign, her name is Alina (cant remember if she has a last name.) Her story is basically, she was abandoned at this wizard/scholar/tower thing and was looked after by like the teachers and who ever. but when she turned 16, she was ousted from the tower because, unknown to her until the moment she was ousted was that she was believed to be the child of a prophecy (THE prophecy, but Ill get back to that). When she was 16 somehow it was revealed she was not the child of the prophecy, Oh also I forgot to mention she's a half elf sorcerer, but she thinks shes a full elf sorcerer. The reasons this is is because she was abandoned by her parents at the school tower thingy *because* her father believes that her mother slept with a human and i.e half elf. Her parents are these really rich nobles. We met them in session 2 of our campaign, and thats when she realised they were her parents because before that she had no clue. After being ousted ffrom the tower shes just been roming the country, until she eventual stumbles upon the other memebrs of our party where they reluctantly work together, first because they were hired for a mission by the barkeep, and now because theres something more sinister afoot with politicians nad shit. Theres more to be explored, but we havent played too much of it but im so so excited too . (The reasons soops not allowed to read it is because it has secrets that she doesnt know). Oh yeah The propechy is like a propechy about waro r somehting and my character was supposed to be the key to stopping it but no longer because they are no longer the propechy child. at the time of the story they are 18. They are heavily inspired by Aelwin Abernathy from D20's Bad Kids campaign (cannot remember what its called) For drawing them, heres a refrence! (i drew this >:DD)

---Soop you can read now. My next character is one for the campaign soop is dming!! It hasnt started yet but im really excited! My character is a tabaxi rogue. They're 19 if I remember correctly. Their lore is more dependent on the worl around them. Basically they were apart of the religion blah blah blah in the religion there was this guy (woman) called the Head Scholar, whose like the pope. They were an apprentice under the Head Scholar and basically the head scholar was/is experimenting on how to cure this disease/make spirits so they killed and revived my character! and a bunch of other people, but after my character was killed and revived they ran away. This was when they were 16. I think? And they also had a found family (that they found after running away) that were taken/killed by the Head Scholar as a way to get my character back. Their name is Tabi, with no last name. Since the campaign hasnt started yet they havent met the rest of the party. THey dont stay in one area too long as they are being sort of chased by the Head Scholar, more details to be added when the campaign starts/if Soop tells me more stuff. Refrence for them under neath, wich i also drew!

You can pick either you want!! Thanks so much for asking me I love talking about these two. I will trust you when you say no nefarious purposes/lh. >:DD